The Nateland Podcast - 3: 3: The Olympics

Episode Date: February 18, 2026

This week, Brian learns about Amanda Bynes, Dusty questions Helen Keller, and Aaron defends Southwest Airlines. Then the guys get Olympic fever by learning about the history of the event, obscure Olympic rules, Hillbilly Olympics and debate what everyday event they would be good at if they were creating their own Olympics.Factor Meals: Factormeals.com/nate50offHead to Factormeals.com/nate50off and use code nate50off to get 50% off and free breakfast for a year. Eat like a pro this month. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Betterhelp.com/NATE Sign up and get 10% off at Betterhelp/com/NATE. Rocket Money- Rocketmoney.com/nateLet Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster.  Join at RocketMoney.com/NATE today!Ultra Pouches: takeultra.comDon’t sleep on @ultrapouches. New customers get 15% Off with code NATELAND at takeultra.com! #UltraPouches #ad

Public figure. You are going to allow the public. Some people know who I am. Public figures. Public figures. Public figures. I think it's America. It's the public figures of America. Yeah. When you're a public figure, this is what happens. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome in to the public figures podcast. Good afternoon. Good evening and good night. Happy to have you here. I am Aaron Weber. You can see me this weekend at Houston, Texas, at the Improv and then Dallas, Texas at the Addison Improv.

I'm alongside my good buddies here, Brian Bates. Okay. You can see me this Sunday at the Arlington Draft House in Arlington, Virginia. And my good friend, Dusty Slay. Okay. All right. I like how fast you guys came out with the dates. We talked about it, I know, but you guys came right out of the gate with it. I like that. We weren't. Really letting them know. You really brought it to a screeching halt just now. Yeah, I did. But, you know, it just seemed, I wanted to.

It was your suggestion. Yeah, I just wanted to take a moment. I was, I liked it. It felt good. Got it right out there. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'll be in Michigan. I'll be in Saginaw, Michigan and Traverse City, Michigan. All right.

I'm pretty sure. Well, the reviews are in. Everyone loves us. Public figures? Every one. This is episode three, but it's our first one with little feedback because we did two right off the top. But, man, we've had some stuff happen. Why don't we talk about our weekend and then we'll talk about the cruise?

How about that? Okay. So I forgot about the cruise. Yeah. I know it's, it's been a while. It's been a couple weeks now, yeah. I was with Nate this past Saturday in, uh... Who?

Nate Bargatsy. It's a good call. In Indianapolis. Nice. At the, uh, was it at the Cambridge Fieldhouse where the Pacers play? Where Caitlin Park plays. Yeah, well, Caitlin Park plays. So he did, he did two.

shows on Saturday. And it was a lot of fun. Keith Alberstadt, our friend, who's never been on the podcast, but I tell him, we got to get him on sometime. He should be on the podcast. It's surprising that he hasn't been. Yeah. Yeah. New York comic, but it's from Nashville. Went to Vanderbilt. Another big Vandy fan. Yeah. Me, him and Nate talked a lot about Vandy. That was exciting, huh? Sorry. What was it? Talking about Vandy. Yeah. Well, it was for us. Yeah. It was for us.

Vandy basketball also doing very well. It's a great year for Vanderbilt Sports. Julian was not on. Julian McCullough hosts every, pretty much every Nateland show. He's the guy, yeah. Yeah, and he was out, so Nick Novick. What happened to him? I don't know.

I think he had his own commitments. Seesick from the cruise? No, I texted with him yesterday. I think he's fine. I don't know, but Nick Novicki filled in. He did a backflop on the cruise. He did. Yeah, we'll get to that.

Okay. Well, we're right on Julian right now. Okay, go ahead. Well, you know. Well, now you have to set up the whole belly flop contest for the story to make sense. Yeah. Yeah. I don't mean to derail you.

All right. It's on a roll. Yeah. Let him go. And then a friend of all of us, Maggie Hughes to Apollo. Oh, nice. Who's done the Nate Land Showcase. Right.

And she came, did her first stops with Nate, did the, and just did. Great, killed it. Awesome. So fun. She's so funny. Maggie's great. She did some shows with me. Elkhart, Indiana.

Chicago. Yeah, she was telling me, she's like, I've never really done a big show. So that makes sense now. Yeah. Like, really? She's like, no, this is kind of the first time I've ever been on a show that's had. Show that actually meant something. Had more than four figures.

So anyway. To be fair, I don't let people do a lot of time. I take most of the time. Yeah, she did five minutes on your show. I go, we only got 90 minutes here, guys. I really don't have room for you, if I'm being honest. I'd just like you to go out and bring me up. Well, Maggie did great, and the shows were a lot of fun.

And let me just say this. I think this will be your well-house, Aaron. Okay. The bus ride home, you were on the other bus, right? These guys ditch me, and I'm stuck on there with two millennials, not even millennials, Gen Z or I guess. Oh, wow. Noah, would Noah be a Gen Z?

Noah's a little younger than me. He's like borderline, Gen Z and Millennium. And McLean, who's definitely Gen Z. Okay. And we're like, let's watch a movie. Okay. They out overruled me two to one. They wanted to watch Paw Patrol.

That I would have been on board with because I watched that all day to day with my daughter. She's the man with Amanda Binds. Oh, good movie. I saw that in theaters. Exactly. It was their favorite movie. Their favorite movie of all time. It's a Shakespeare adaptation.

Did you talk about that? No, we didn't. Okay. But it's a, it's a, it's a modern adaptation of the 12th night by William Shakespeare. Okay. Well, this would be, it would be like if they made them watch, I guess, the breakfast club, some teen, romantic teen movie. Yeah, sure. So I wasn't even, I didn't even know who Amanda Binds was, but we watched.

You didn't know who Amanda Bindon? I knew of her. You've talked about it on the podcast. She's like, I would say my generation's Mary Tyler Moore. You commented. What are you talking about? Well, she's pretty famous for having, you know, pretty public breakdown. Some problems now.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, she was not treated very well. I knew of her. Well, that's why I'm laughing about the Mary Tyler Moore. I'm talking in terms of, I would say, the biggest, like, comedic star of my generation. Wow. For a while there.

Yeah, I mean, the Amanda show. You've said this before in this podcast. So I'm like, who's she? And they're like, that's Amanda Binds. I'm like, oh, I've heard Aaron Mitchinner. Was it Nickelodeon? Nickelodeon. She was on all that.

And then she had her own sketch show called the Amanda Bind show. And then she started to star in a bunch of movies and then things happened. But she was so great. And then you look back and you're like, yeah. Yeah, it was all bad. Yeah. Anyway, that was my weekend. I was in Cleveland, Ohio at hilarities.

Aaron Weber speaking. This is Aaron, by the way, talking. Truly, just a great club. I love that club. One of the truly great clubs in America. I love it. And, you know, you spend some time there, and you're like, God, I wish everybody could just take a field trip to this club

and just see how it's done. Yeah. You know what I mean? Just see how well they treat you and everything. The food's unbelievable. They really hook it up. The little things they do. You know, they, every day we'd show up to the club,

and they had a new childhood picture of me printed on the green room door. Wow. Just. How'd they do that? I think there are pictures that I had posted on social media from years ago. But just the fact that you got to understand so many of these clubs you show up to them, and it's like they could care less that you're there. Yeah.

Or you get the feeling at least. They're like, they're not excited to have you there. So when. Like where? Like, I mean, I'll. There are a lot of good clubs. But yeah, hilarities goes above and beyond, for sure. Yeah.

I don't know why you're both resistant to this idea. No, no. I'm just saying they're good. That's what I'm saying, too. There are a lot of good ones. There are a lot of bad ones. I'm just trying to be funny by saying, name some names. But hilarities goes above and beyond.

That's what I'm saying. I'm backing you up. Yeah, okay. Yeah. I'm saying it's not. I'm not saying everywhere else sticks. Yeah, and I'm not saying that they're just a good club. They go, they do step it up.

But I'm saying those little things that even if they're lying, if they act like they're excited for you to be there, that kind of stuff. Even very early on, I think I headlined one night as I was passing through. They let me headline. They were so nice to me. They treated me so well. There was no need for it. I wasn't selling tickets. Yeah, yeah.

And they just were so nice. And I sat out with Sam and had a cigar out there on the street there and, you know, got harassed by people on the street more than, you know, ever had in my whole life. But we had a great time. Crazy behavior I saw. Some guy, during the show, a guy in the audience walked into the green room and took a phone call. Wow.

Isn't that crazy? You were on stage? No, I was back there. And a guy just walks in. He's just like, yeah, I told him to move that up a couple. Wow. And I'm looking to go, I thought the guy, he walked in so confidently,

I thought he worked there. Yeah. I was like, is this an employee I haven't seen? You should I ask him to get you something. Go, hey, when you wrap that up, will you give me a couple of beers here? I just looked at him for a while. I go, do you work here? He's like, no, I was taking a phone call.

You know, well, this is the green room. Can you get out? Yeah. I didn't, you know, I asked him nicely to leave. But I had never seen that. That's crazy. And he didn't seem like, oops. He was like, oh, I didn't know.

I was like, well, you did walk past a, it was roped off the door. There's literally like the movie theater roped there. To be fair, even though that's bad, he did at least step out of the showroom to take the call. Yeah. I'd rather him take it in the show. At least while I'm not on stage. Oh, right, right. If you'd been on stage.

Why, Jay Flake's up there. Yeah, Jay Flake can deal with whatever. I mean, I'm trying to zone out back there. But anyway, long way of saying, great weekend. Thank you to everybody who came out to Cleveland at Hilarity. It's just a great weekend. Two sold out Valentine's Day show. it was great.

I went to Sioux City, Iowa. I did a hard rock casino. I'd never been to Sioux City. There is a song. I opened my set with us. There's a song by Willie Nelson and Leon Russell. I think it's a Bob Will's song originally, but it's called Sue City, Sue.

And so I never, that's about what... Sue City, Sue. That was my only time I had heard of Sioux City. And so I was excited. I talked about the song, and I go, Sue City City, you guys heard of that? You guys know her? They said her eyes are, our hair is red and her eyes are blue. I guess she's really something. William Nelson said he would trade his horse and dog for her. So the horse and the dog. Did they know the song? I don't know. It's tough to say. They didn't go wild for it, but they did enjoy the joke. It was also a movie in 1946. Oh, wow.

Starring Gene Autry. You remember. The singing cowboy. Some of your favorites, Brian. Yeah. Lynn Roberts and Sterling Holloway. Sioux City, Sue. It's great. I trade my horse and dog for you. Sue City, Sue. I think there's two Sioux Cities. I think there may be a Sioux City, Nebraska or? Well, Sioux City, Iowa is just over the Nebraska line. Okay. Okay. But anyway, it was great. Had a great time. At the casino, they treated me very well. The show was great. My buddy Adam Bush was there with me, who was also on the cruise. hanging, and I had a great time there. With these cold days, and boy, it is a cold day, and a busy schedule, I have no time to cook.

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I listened to the We're Having a Good Time podcast today and Dusty broke down the cruise. And I'm like, man, we were on two different cruises. We were talking about the private pool and hot tub and how you never even have to leave because everything was right there in front of you. And I'm just down there, the masses like Leo. DeCaprio on the bottom of the Titanic, you know, elbow. Well, how was that the case, but they still saw me more? Well, I was going to get to that too. I mean, according to social media, Dusty is the most sociable.

Dusty's the man of the people, and me and Brian just hang out at our ivory tower. But you guys knew that. Well, specifically, don't put me in it. Specifically, you were the least sociable. Oh, is that what somebody said? Yeah. But I don't agree with that. I think I'm the least sociable, but.

I don't think either of us are ace. social. Well, the thing about it is, you came out one time when I was hanging out. Yeah. And you said, I got to go. Because it was a lot. Yeah. There were a lot of people. And I think that you have to push through that initial like, whoa, and then you settle in. Now, in fairness, I'd already been doing stuff. You've been in Mexico. For hours that day. And I was kind of, you know, in my rope. I needed a break. I'm an introvert. I don't enjoy. Do you know, You really consider yourself an introvert? Oh, yeah.

Really? Totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So do you get, you'd say, a lone time recharge of you? Yes, yes, absolutely. But also, to your guys' credit, you know, I like cigars. So I'm able to hang out there and smoke and it like, open you up, makes you social. People come in, you're like, and it's fun.

Yeah. If you're not doing that, then you are just hanging. I can't go out there and hang out with ultra pouches. Right. It's a much different hang. Exactly. Like they're good. Of course.

But nobody knows you have them in. Yeah. With a cigar, I'm like, come on, let's get a pick. Yeah. And you were out there for seven hours. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know I was out there for seven hours until I got back to it.

Because I didn't even look at my phone. It was a truly great day because I hate my phone. Right. I'm addicted to it. I hate looking at it. I want to throw it in the trash can. Yep. But I'm addicted to it.

And that day. Also, your livelihood depends on it to some degree, right? Flying. I mean, everything I use it to, I use my maps, I use my phone, my airline apps. I use all kinds of things. But that day, I didn't look at my phone. I would check once in a while to make sure my wife didn't call or something like that. But I never looked at it.

And I got back to my hotel and I go, 7.30. Yeah. I go, that's insane. They feel good? I felt great. Yeah, you were out there. I actually saw you twice. The second time you had moved up, I think. Or maybe you moved down.

Yeah. And now the band was playing. Yeah. And I would have hung a little bit longer that time because I had recharge, but the band was so loud. Should we zoom out a bit here and contextualize this? We were on the Nate Land at Sea Cruise. I just want to say real quick, though, the band was great, but they were loud. Yeah.

I wanted to just back in real quick. I just didn't want to leave off. We haven't even kind of explained what we're talking about. We were on, because we barely talked about it on the podcast. Yeah, okay. So we were on a cruise, the Nate Land at Sea Cruise. How big, how many people were on it with us? I have no idea.

3,500 maybe. 2,300, I believe. 2,300 people were on the cruise. We were some of the comedians on there. We did shows all weekend on this huge cruise ship. And it was great. We got to interact with a lot of fans. And, I mean, like real people that are super.

I feel like I have a new closeness to people on this pot that listen to this podcast. Because you used to, let's be honest, you used to resent it. Well, there's people constantly hashtag dump dusty and it's everywhere. I had to leave the public figures podcast Facebook group again. How many times you've been in and out that one? I don't know, six or seven. I've joined, because, you know, I'll go, I'll start feeling good and I'll go, well, let's see what people are saying. And then, you know, there's always some hat guy

trashing me in the comments. And I can't handle it. Now, there's a guy who's apologized a couple of times for his comment. He was trying to make a fun comment, I guess, about saying, Dusty's third show was great, but not his first, whatever he said. Right. And I go, you're out of your mind, buddy. And then I left the grip.

I'm not mad at him. I'm not mad at it. I was, but I'm not mad at it. That's good. Well, I have seen some, you know, everybody was so nice on the, cruise, but then I see people post stuff like breakfast was as awkward as I imagine. Oh, you weren't awkward at all. Yeah, I know.

I don't find you awkward at all. Well, thank you, Dusty. Yeah. Appreciate that. Yeah, you're a very normal guy. Except when you are intentionally awkward for comedic purposes on stage or whatever. Well, thank you. But you're a normal person.

Thank you. We went, Brian and I went to, they were hosting Nate Land podcast trivia on the ship. That must have been awkward. No, well, here's the thing. I thought, Brian, why don't we go over there? probably be just like, I don't know, maybe a dozen people or something. Let's just go over there and say hi to them. We walk in and the room was packed, man.

Oh, trivia, not the bingo. Okay, all right. Yeah, yeah, this is trivia. Yeah. And there were, I think, over 50 trivia teams. Yes, I think we were 51. And Nateland podcast trivia. They should have let me host that.

You know, I used to be a trivia host. Right. Well, we walk in. Professional. And I mean, we, I mean, that's as much as a celebrity as I felt like. Right. I mean, they were literally doing trivia about our, I leaned over to Brian at one point. I was like, this is crazy.

They were asking like, I mean, like deep questions about the history of the podcast. They go, how many fries do you think Aaron made it through before he realized the old people? It was stuff like that. Deep cut references and everybody's getting it and they all have team names. We started feeling pressure because we had a team. We're like, we can't lose this. Yeah, we got to get these right. Did you win?

we didn't really We entered it. We played along. Would you have one if you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I think so. Because I had Brian on my team. Brian remembers everything. That's true. That is true. I'm so glad we went though because it was very cool. It felt weird. None of us being there, but people were playing trivia about us.

So I think we did add something. I moved to the affair. I managed to miss all of those things. I find if they would let me smoke in more environments, I would be more involved than everything. Well, but we all had our role. We chose to go do that. No one asked us to do it, but you hosted or Judge. A belly flop.

That was right after the talent show. And we watched a little bit of the talent show. And then we were like, let's go see the trivia. We were just running around at that point of the day. But there are all these events. You know, we had the shows at night typically. And there were five or six different venues and places they were doing shows. And we were all kind of jumping around.

But then during the day, they had all these activities like the trivia or there's a belly flop contest that Dusty alluded to earlier where Julian competed and he was trying to be a little different and he did a back flop and didn't go over that well. It probably hurt. But yeah, it's tough to do like when it is a belly flop. It's tough to not do that and still be competitive. I miss Julian's backflop, but I did get there to see some of it. It was very fun. You guys were very funny.

It was a great. Y'all were being very funny as the judge's Yeah, Strupp was a judge. Yeah. Dustin Nickerson and Greg Garcia. Yeah. They were, y'all are all very funny. Yeah, it was really great. People really got into it.

The first, like, kind of big dude that went up there, Strupe was like, here's the horse. I put my money on. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It was a good time just to watch it. It was good. Yeah, we all had specialty things.

So you judge the spelling bee. Mm-hmm. I did bingo twice. Bingo with Bates. Yep. Yeah, but kind of, it kind of morphed, evolved a little bit. Uh-huh. Yeah, Lockland Patterson.

My understanding, because see, I felt like you were going to straight up host bingo. My understanding was the ship already had their own bingo host. Yes. And then you were kind of like, you were adding some color commentary. They shoehorned them in. Yeah, I'm so glad Lachlan got added with me, because as awkward as it was, it would have been even more awkward if it was just me. It was just me. The ship had their own people, and they're used to doing it every week, and they got their own jokes and their own personality.

And I don't knock them for that. but they kind of just, it was overpowered. It was awkward. I love that bingo is going on on casinos enough that they have their own team. You got to, man. I love that you're like on a cruise, and I don't mean this one. This is a special bingo. Right.

But you're on a cruise, but you're like, you know what? I'd like to get in a little bingo. Yeah. Let's get a little bingo in. Like they had two different hosts, and both times we did it. And she'd say, B9, B9, much like. my love life, you know, stuff like that. Oh, and you got something built in for every...

What does that mean? Benign, like a tumor, you know? Like it's cancerous? Like... Lockland said, do you want to be malignant? No, yeah. But benign's the opposite. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Deny like there's nothing coming from. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So they had their own built-in jokes like that. Hilarious, sounds like. And I don't think they cared for us much either. Yeah.

But Lachlin and I still had a good time. We did the Nateland podcast on the ship. Yeah. We did. That was a hot episode. We had the reunion show. They said it would never happen. We let Nate come back out.

Can we announce when that's this Friday? It's coming out this Friday. It's a great episode. It is a good episode. Yeah. I hope the audience is miced. Was the audience mic? Was the audience miced in anyway?

We had crowd mics. Oh, okay. So you can hear them laugh and stuff? Okay, good. We've got some big laughs on that. Yeah. Yeah. Is there anything worse of getting the tape back from your stand-up and the crowd's not miced?

You mean from every comedy club? Yes. Every comedy club is what they do. You go, you're walking out with your camera to set it up and they go, hey, you don't need to do it. We got it in-house. I go, oh, great. And then they go, hey, just so you know, late show Friday, the one you really liked, the good one, the camera was out. Yeah.

And then the others, none of the audiences, Mike. So it's just you. Just you. I had a club recently. They go, we'll get you the video. It's 720P and the crowd's not miced at all. So you sound like you're bombing. So I go, so it's pretty worthless.

He goes, yeah. And then it's too grainy to zoom in and make a real out. To do anything with it. Yeah. But I appreciate you giving it to me. Nate asked me right before the podcast, he was going to the talent show to come out as a surprise rapper. And that was fun. I kind of did that on the fly.

and had fun with that. Yeah, you were good. Brian crashed the talent show. I wish we had video of that, but Brian crashed the talent show, wrapped, made fun of everybody on the panel. They did a good dig at it. Yeah, you were good.

A good dig at Julian. They really made me laugh. Greg Garcia one was great, too. Yeah. I'm trying to remember you said, if you haven't heard of Greg's shows, there's one good reason, because all of his shows only last one,

season. That's actually better than how I said it. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. That's good. And we did shows together, and that was fun. We did a show, that secret show. We did the secret show.

Yeah. Man, it was just, I think I can agree. I mean, I think y'all will agree. We were all, I was surprised at how much fun it was. Yeah. I knew it would be great, but I didn't know it would be. I really, really had a good. I thought these guys would screw it up, and they didn't.

I didn't know it would be great. I'll be honest. And I had such a good time. I thought some of it would, like, I'll get through that and then it'll be, but the whole thing was fun. So good. You know, everybody there was so great. Thank you to everybody who came and said hi to us and everything. Anyway.

Should we get in these comments? Let's do it again. What I would like is my own little cigar corner where people, we had some actual chairs set up. So when people come do meeting great, we can hang. We have a little outdoor. Because the lounge was good, but I don't like a lot. lounge. There's not enough ventilation in there. I'm dying in a lounge. Yeah, yeah. I like open air smoking. Sure. I like to smoke and breathe. In the middle of the Gulf. Yeah. Just ocean around.

Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. Do you watch a little open range on the ship? I didn't know. Oh, I did. Yeah. I watched the whole movie on the ship because I couldn't sleep after the seven hour meeting greet. I was fired up. And I loved it. Robert DeValle, one of my favorites of all time. I wanted him to say it. Yeah, you're the first one to say it. Yeah. And he passed away. I also love Kevin Costner, by the way. They're both great. People act like Kevin Costner's not good. There was a... Who acts like he's not good?

There was a little short time period where everybody was trying to act like Kevin Costner wasn't good. I'm like, that guy crushes. He's not as good as Robert DeVall, but he's very good. Robert DeVall's never had that. There was a period where he's making all these huge epic movies. He did dances with wolves, which won a lot of awards. It was great. But then he did Waterworld, which got paid.

Also great. Yeah, that's varying opinions on. that. It's a great movie. There was a period where he... Oh, the mailman? I never saw the postman. I never saw the postman.

Like everything he did was these big epic things. And he kind of got paying ripped for a while. But Robert DeVall never had a bad role. I can't think of a single Robert DeVall role that I didn't like him in. I know. He was Boo Radley and To Kill a Mockingbird. Yeah. That's crazy.

He was in, there was a movie called The Apostle. You ever see that one? Yeah. He was even in... small part. We got the video of Brian crashing the talent show here. They're all talking.

We got a special guess. Who's coming? The crowd erupts. They thought it was him and him. I wish I had a timed it a little bit. Brian walks out. Hoodie on, grabs the mic.

All right. Yeah. It was fun. You can't see in the video. There's a lot of people there watching. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to say there was a movie

crazy. Crazy Heart. Oh, yeah, I know that. Crazy Rich Asians. He sings a Billy Joe Shaver song. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Live forever on the boat. But Robert DeVall is a small part in it.

Well, that's Robert DeVal sings Live Forever on the boat. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, really great. Yeah, yeah. Robert DeVall, best of all time. When we get in this, let's start it off with the comments? Yeah, go ahead. Best of all time.

Do you want to do it? No, you go for it. Comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple, podcast, reviews and what's the same is it the same email for now still yeah mail at nathlandpodcast.com Amber Tucker my favorite part of this podcast has been the crispness of the audio. Well that's what I've always said. That's what makes a good podcast. What does it? You can listen to almost anything as long as the audio is good and almost nothing is listenable if it's bad audio. That's true.

That is true. All we need is a good team. And then we can just sit here and talk. Doesn't matter what we're saying. It doesn't matter. You want a good, you want a podcast that people can fall asleep to. That's right. That's what I like.

Just a white noise machine. By the way, you just complimented the audio and our audio engineer was gone. It's gone. Well, good. I don't want them to get a big head. Yeah. And then his work will start slipping a little. It's really probably the work of the microphones anyway.

Apparently. Oh, look who's back. Oh, look who it is. Mr. Audio. The so-called best thing about this show. Welcome back. Next comment comes from David Cook, winner of American Idol. Remember that?

I do not. That was a big season. That was the only season of American Idol I watched. He competed against David Archiletta. Anybody else remember David Archiletta? Oh, yeah. And David Cook beat him in the finale. Wow.

Yeah, are you upset about it? Were you a David Archeletta fan? I can see that. David Cook, I listened to the podcast in my office at work with the volume up. A co-worker walked in right as Dusty said, I've heard Helen Keller doesn't even exist. My coworker immediately turned around and walked out. It was a fun moment. I bet you turn around and walked out to go start Googling. Getting the word out.

The truth out. She goes, wow, I've never thought to actually look into that. Yeah, I mean, come on. That's a conspiracy theory that is, God, just gut feeling feels like it's gaining steam. Like, I would never want to be blind. I would never want to be deaf. So I'm not making fun of Helen Keller. But if you're blind and deaf, what are you writing about? You know what I mean, though?

And so I haven't read the book. I don't know what she talks about. Did you read the book? I have. I don't. There's not. a real strong argument that she doesn't exist, is there? I thought it was just that they exelish. I think she was a real person. They just lied about some of the details of it.

Yeah. And her handler or mentor, teacher, whatever, was just using her to make money. That's what they claimed. It's just, what would she even write? I mean, it's true, though. Like, what? I mean, it seems like she's got a lot going on. Yeah. If she can write, it seems like she's got a lot to say. If you haven't talked forever, you're going to want to get some stuff out there. I just don't know. I can't even see how it's relatable. Yeah.

It's called The Story of My Life. It's an autobiography written by Helen Keller, published in 1903. It talks about her early life and mostly her experiences with Anne Sullivan. That was the lady who taught her how to communicate. The lady who took advantage of you. Yeah. And saw an opportunity. Well.

I guess 1903, times are hard out here. I'm about to get up. David, I hope your co-worker was here for all of that. Next comment comes from Kelly Renee. The giant X over the Nate Land sticker on Aaron's computer is the final true cross section. That's very funny. I couldn't get the sticker off cleanly, so I just thought I'd just, you know, letting people know, setting the tone early. It's like NWO.

NW exactly what I was going to say for, you know, WCW back in the day. Oh, okay. They spray painted NWO over the championship. Like, we're taking over, so we just, they spray paint over. Ah, should have spray painted. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That's been fun. Scott Quinn, with the show's name change, can we get breakfast bates to at least say the word figures correctly? Question mark, exclamation point, question mark, question mark, exclamation point. He's fired up about it. Yeah. It isn't. It's figures. You're not going to say what he said?

No, it's figures. Just picking. But seriously, thanks for all the laughs. And can you please get that old head to speak right? My God, Scott. But, Scott, you're a figure. That's what I said. Yeah.

Public figures. I didn't say it like that. Public figures, right? Figures is right. Yeah, yeah. But I guess I wasn't emphasizing the why. Why, as much as I should have. Why?

Oh, I guess. So why seven? Yeah. Mm-hmm. So, thank you, Scott. Appreciate you clearing that out. Yeah.

Ben D. Boyd. Turn to get Brian canceled. I know. I know. I am greatly enjoying the new podcast. It's great to see three professional comedians. Thank you, Ben.

Like, good friend should. Yeah. This guy gets it. Professional comedian. We're all professional comedians. Yeah. It did surprise me that Aaron and Brian let Dusty get away with misproncing Lazzin.

especially considering he pronounced it loss zenge a couple of dozen it's a lozenge lozenge lawsonge yeah what do you got to say lozenge right why do you say it like that because i think that's how it's spelled l o z e n g it sounds like you need to take a lozenge and try to pronounce it right yeah lozenges glad to see someone taking up nate's mispronunciation role so quickly yeah i mean well you know that's debate about I guess. You know, it's like pizza. But are pronunciations debatable?

Well, pizza is spelled P-I-Z-Z-A. And we're kind of throwing a T in there. Yeah. So I'm, you know, I'm doing that with Lossange. You're turning a Z into an S. Couple S's. Yeah, yeah. Here's the official American pronunciation.

Lossage. Yeah, but that, I don't talk like that lady. That's true. That is true. Ethan trusty. Dusty. Ethan Trustee's got a comment for Dusty. Dusty, I love it when you sing on the podcast.

You have that old country twang. Have you ever thought about recording an album? I have thought about it. Would you do covers or originals? I think it could be a big hit and possibly a new avenue in your career. Well, I feel like you're trying to embarrass me. This is what worries me. This is how it starts.

Do you remember when somebody wrote in and goes, hey, you should build a to Nateland theme park. We all laughed about it. Look at us now. Nate's building a theme park and he's off the podcast. This is the beginning of your music career. I got to imagine that Nate had already thought about building the theme park and that fueled it. And I have also thought about recording a country album.

I also have a rap song that I wrote. So I could mix it up a little bit. Let's hear it. It's kind of a country rap. I can't. I'm not ready to do it. Like a jelly roll type song? The color music you hate?

Yeah. But it's more like 90s rap, which I'm into. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. 90s rap was good. What's it called? I think we can all agree. I don't know that I have a name for it.

But it's really good. I found a video of me rapping in about 2007 while driving, possibly drunk. And it's very good. And you're going to post it? I don't know if I'm going to post it, but I now have all the lyrics that I, because I only remembered the first verse. So you could recut it. Recut it.

I may recut it. Yeah, I wrote a couple of countries on. You know, Eddie Murphy put out a novel in the peak of his career. Yeah, he's like really talented. Oh, yeah, that's true. Next comment comes from what? Yeah. Okay, Ethan Trustee gets him.

Well, that's like going, look, Jamie Fox had some songs. It's like, yeah. But this is the thing about country is. You need some grittier people that are maybe not as talented to bring this genre back to its roots. You're the guy then. Yeah. I mean, country. I want to, listen, there was a country song on the Turning Point halftime show, which I didn't watch.

You just saw some clips. I saw a clip. He talked about the dude that was like crying. The guy goes, I just want to drink my beer. I watch that clip. I just want to cut my grass. He sounded like he was crying. I just want to beat, my dog.

It's like, that's what the whole song was. I just want to drink my beer. Look, my dog. Wear my boots. He's like, he said, I want to wear my boots. Nobody's stopping you than wearing your boots. Feel free. Put your boots on.

Throw them on, buddy. Yeah. I just want to kiss, my fish. He said that? I just want to ride, my dog. I mean, it looked like, yeah, just like bad country mad lips. I just want to X by Y. Yeah.

You know? Yeah. And I've been dying to write that song. I've never wanted to parody a song so bad in all my life. Just all the things. You could just, anything you want. I just want to, you know, I just want to. That's what I call it.

I just want to. And then it's just that over and over again. You know, we watched, uh, cut my law. We watched the Super Bowl on the cruise. We did. And we cannot see commercials. And I've yet to see one Super Bowl commercial. I hear I didn't miss anything.

Yeah. I mean, were there any big ones that became culturally impactful in any way this year? Not that I saw, right? Not that I know. Too bad. That used to be a big thing. I like the, I like adding my own line. I just want to beat my dog.

I just want to beat my dog. I just want to drink. my beer. Drink my beer. I just want to cut, my grass. I've only seen the first five seconds of that song. I've no idea where he's going with it.

Was it good? No. Okay. I don't mind the sentiment that the guy. It looked terrible. The guy's basically like, I just want to live my life and not have to see all the bad stuff going on in the world. But that's your Super Bowl halftime show song that you're breaking out.

That's not. I just want to drink my beer. The guy looked like he'd been drinking all day. Yeah, he looked. He look, You look swollen. Eric Cushel, Eric Cushel. Eric, how would you say that?

Cushel. Cushel. When Ballyhoo was describing the types of love and introduced lewdus love, Aaron casually snuck in a luda! And the old heads just let it slide. Aaron needs to know that at least one fellow millennial caught it and appreciated it.

Love the podcast. I have no idea what you're talking about. I think I appreciated it. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I know ludicrous. You know ludicrous from, you know, Justin Bieber's baby? I know ludicrous from... The movie Crash?

Crash and Hustle and Flow. Okay. Both times he gets in a fistfight with Terrence Howard. Really? Wow. It came out the same year. Oh, that's crazy. I didn't know that.

Yeah. Have you seen Hustle and Flow? I have seen Hustle and Flo. It is a good movie. It is a good movie. It's the song I come out to. I actually haven't seen it all. Urban shows.

But I've seen it some. Yeah. Hard out here for Brian. Yeah. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Sometimes it can feel like everyone else has it all together in their love lives. Whether married, dating, or single, the truth is, most of us are still figuring it out and finding our way. And no matter where you are in your romantic journey, therapy can help you find your way.

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See if they let all three of us go in there and talk. I think three of us need a hash from things out. Well, with over 300,000, excuse me, 30,000 therapists and millions of people served worldwide, better help has helped many people start the year with more clarity and intention. So here's the guys, this is what I want you to take away from this. Okay. If you sign up now, you get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash Nate. Wow.

That's a good deal. That's better. H-E-L-P dot com slash Nate. David Womack, on days that you filmed two episodes, how long is there between filming? How do y'all cleanse the mental palate? How are you able to truly separate the two episodes rather than it looking and sounding like a continuation of the other one? I'll just answer to this for you, David. You've already thought about it more than we have.

The trick is to, they always sound like a continuation to the other ones. That's right. You remember the movie Avengers? And, you know, there's a, and I've been wanting to. No, I don't. You never saw it? No, you should remember the movie Avengers? There's a scene where, you know, Bruce Banner is not the Hulk yet.

And Captain America says, Dr. Banner, this might be a good time to get angry. And he goes, that's my secret. I'm always angry, right? And I want to do that for stuff in my life. Like when my doctor goes, hey, I'm going to give you this pill. And if it makes you feel sick, you know, let us know. And I go, that's my secret. I'm always sick.

You know what I mean? And I love that. I'm always sick. It's not quite as cool as I'm always angry. No, no. But it doesn't have to be cool. You're talking about just a bit you want to do in life. In life, everywhere I go.

Feel free to do it. I just want everywhere I go. I just want to do that. Well, if you feel like you're ready to do it, just go ahead and do it. Well, you know, the situation has to arise. Okay, okay. But just right here, he goes, how do you separate two episodes rather than it looking and sounded like a continuation of the other? Right.

He go, that's our secret. Right. They are always like that. Well, if you're amped up and ready to go, we can get on moving with the podcast. I just did it. I was trying to tee up to just do it. Gosh, guys. I try to tee up twice to do it.

I feel like the second episode were always relaxed and loose. and some of our best episodes come in the second. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When all that kind of stuff doesn't get its way into the second. If we had two, yeah, man. Yeah, yeah. I got to get all this out of my system. Casey Flat.

Casey Flat. Longtime listener, first time commenter. Well, welcome aboard. My full name is Catherine Cherry, but I have always gone by Casey. My dad told me the reason for calling me Casey was because, many successful people, aka public figures, go by their initials. And he wanted me to grow up successful. I think there is a case to be made for Aaron's stage name being changed to A.J. Weber.

I like that. Yeah, I support it. I think it's too late in my career right now to switch things up. I think you could change your name completely. Nobody would notice. I got a little thing going. The, yeah, I don't support. it. I don't like AJ Weber. Yeah. I like going three names altogether. Well, that's serial killer. I don't

want to do that. What's your middle name? James? Yeah. Aaron James Weber. Yeah. If you say Aaron James Weber, they go, what did he do? Just do Aaron James. And they seem like a kind of like an R&B singer. I feel like I'm doing all right as it. No, we need to fix this. Let's rebrand this whole thing you got going on. Aaron Weber, like the grill. Come on. DJ. Captain Kirk, listening to Aaron Bates get the... Listening to R& Bates get the new edition slash Boys to Men thing, so wrong was painful. They are two very separate groups.

All right, let me address this. I thought we figured out that they were the same group. He says it was so painful. Like I was just putting down the wall, guys, without a doubt. I asked it as a question, basically. because I wasn't 100% sure. I thought they were the work. You look it up, apparently Aaron can't even Google correctly because he got it wrong.

But he acts like I said New Edition ended up to becoming Metallica. So the truth is Michael Bivens from New Edition discovered Boys to Man. And New Edition had a song called Boys to Man and they changed their name to Boys to Man. So they are not the same group, but there's... Heavily inspired. Even that explanation was very confusing for me. Well, for you, but Aaron got it. And I even said, I get them mixed up with Bel Biv DeVoe, who was...

That's what new edition became. Those guys became Bell Biv DeVoe. Oh, okay. All right. These are all easy mistakes to make. You know what I mean? Right, Aaron? I agree completely, R.M. Bates.

So I'm sorry, DJ Captain Kirk. DJ Captain Kirk. It was so painful. Will Young. William Hung. Remember him? On a real American Idol kick today. I do remember him.

William Hung, yeah. She moved. She moved. She bang. Yeah, he was big for a while. I'd never watched the show. Well, he became famous for the wrong reasons. He was so bad.

Yeah, he was, the first one I can remember, he went viral because of how bad he was. Okay. You know what? I liked Susan Boyle. That's who I liked. Yeah, well, she, didn't she like almost win? I think she did America. I think that was America's Got Talent, too. What a groundbreaking video that was. You remember that, though? The first singing. Like, the whole, the whole idea that the whole world was like, can you believe that an unattractive person sounds like that? That's what we all did. We all did that. Look how ugly she is and how good she sings. That's what we all did.

Didn't you say Josh Wagner? You just have a joke about that? Josh Wagner did have a joke about it. Yeah, yeah. It's just like the whole, yeah, there's just that ugly people we can't believe when they're talented. Can you believe? Look at this lady. Look at this lady.

Alex Randall. Oh, Will Young. Will Young. I love it when Aaron has something logical and intelligent to say and it goes over either of their heads. I like it too. Always turns into a bit and often. and Aaron still isn't able to get the point across before they move on. One of the many reasons this is the best podcast.

Thank you for using your public platforms to entertain us layman figures. Thank you, Will. Well, this guy gets it. I don't think Will knows what he's talking. Will's reading between the lines, dude. He sees what's really happening at this table. I think you're speaking to him. What's that?

I think you're speaking to him, Will. And I don't think he's correct. but I do like that you guys are connecting. Yeah, here's the thing. I'm always connecting. Us old heads, just can't get it. Alex Randall, when I was eight, I lived in the same apartment complex as Tanya Harding during the trial in 1994. Me and my friends became her lookouts and would let her know when it was safe for her to leave and which exit to use because there was always so many media trucks lining the street.

She promised us private lessons for helping her. I still have never gotten my skating lessons. Wow. Maybe she was teaching you another lesson. Yeah, not to trust people. Not to help criminals. Was she, I'm sure we're going to get into this later. I'm sure that's why it was included in the comments here, Brian.

But were there criminal charges brought on Tanya Harding at all? Or was it just tried in the media? She did plead guilty to... Oh, so she was charged with something. Yeah, I can't remember what it was... It was something after the fact. She still claims... I can't remember now.

It's been so long that she... Aaron's opening a box. We've got our box here. I like that Aaron was picked as the box open. No, he did a good job. All right. Okay. All right.

We've got... Looks like a T-shirt. Well, it's a 2x-L. That's why I was giving to me. Okay. And this is a curling. Curling shirt. It looks like it's got some schematics on the front. Yeah, all right.

About the sport of curling. That's exciting because today we're talking about the Olympics. All right. Okay. The Winter Olympics are going on now. This is probably the first. A lot of people are hearing about it. Do you think that?

Yeah. Have you been watching the Olympics at all? No. You weren't ready for them to start? I've not been interested in the Olympics in a long time. Since Richard Jewell. Maybe I should ask you before we chose this topic. No, I, but I, you know, the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta, I was a big fan of.

Yeah, Richard Jewel. Yeah. I don't know who Richard Jewel was. It was the gymnastics team. I could tell you were following in the Olympics pretty closely. It was the gymnastics team that these girls were the same age as me at the time. And I was into him. He's the guy we talked about two episodes ago that was.

the Olympic Park bomber, he found the, I think he was a hero, really. He found the bomber package, whatever, then the media accused him of being the person who did it. Do you remember that? This is what I know. I do remember it. I know Dominique Mucciano. She did a freestyle, a gymnastic dance. Devil went down to Georgia.

The devil went down to Georgia. And I was like, I was blowing the roof off the place. I mean, I was like, this is as exciting as it gets. Yeah. I had a Wheaties box with those girls on. With her. All those girls. Carrie Shrug.

They win gold that year? I think they did. My generation was Sean Johnson. That was the one. Okay. Yeah. For me, it was Jim Thorpe. Jesse O.

Jesse. I remember Jackie Joyner Cursor. You remember that lady? Yeah, sure. What? I don't remember. I don't know. Listen.

Jackie Jordan Cursor? What was there last time? Cursey? Okay. That's not that's a lot. I mean, come on. He did act like it was real. Well, that's, if you say curse her, that's a totally different thing.

Curser, cursie. Yeah, I know Michael Phillips. I mean, these guys were all. You asked me about, uh, I got it. All right. So just show the people commenting it. I got it. That deserve more right over their heads.

I follow the Summer Olympics usually closer than the Winter Olympics. I would say more people in the United States do. Wouldn't you say? Maybe it depends on where you live in the state. More people in the South probably follow the school. Because nobody I knew grew up playing hockey. Nobody I knew grew up skiing or snowboarding or anything like that. Yeah.

So I have like no first. firsthand experience with any of these sports. But the Summer Olympics, we've all run in a circle. You know, we've all... Sure. I guess that's it. It feels in a way like we're kind of like

bully in the Olympics. So then you should be more into the Winter Olympics because America's not in the lead. Okay. As far as medals. We're up there, right? Are we second or third? The last I checked, which a couple days ago, we were not top two.

Oh. Maybe top five. We're three, right? now in terms of total medals. Okay. Yeah. But it's like, you know, for a lot of times, you know, American, they went a gold medal and it's like, we don't even know their name.

But, you know, I don't know, some country, that would be that gold medal winner, a bronze medal winner of some countries would be a national hero for the rest of their lives. Of course, of course. I was going to say the only time I've ever followed the Winter Olympics closely was, the Tanya Harding, Nancy Carrigan. Okay. And that was such a huge story. I think that was 94.

You asked me about her charges. I don't remember exactly, but I feel like she still claims that she did not know ahead of time. I watched the movie I, Harding, I, Tanya, I can't remember. But even this is a great example. The thing that you followed the closest

was not even really about the Olympics. It was about Tanya Harding smashing Nancy Kerrigan's knee. Well, that's like, saying football stinks because the OJ story was bigger than the Super Bowl that year. You know what I mean? I guess, but you've followed football since then. He said the closest I've ever followed the Olympics was this case.

I'm not blaming the Winter Olympics. I'm blaming myself. I've just never gotten into it. Yeah. But to your point, I never grew up around any of this. And you think you would have been if you grew up in Minnesota, you'd have been a hockey kid growing up instead of baseball and everything else. I think he could blend in with a professional hockey team.

Yeah, let's talk about it for five years. Well, for the Winter Olympics, I mean, I think it's pretty obvious. Curling is where I would try to blend it. Yeah, I mean, there was a guy your age. 54-year-old guy just wanted or participated. Did you see that? No. Oldest, I think, is American or overall?

Oldest American to ever compete in an Olympic event. And he won? I don't think so. I don't think he won, but he participated. It was curling. It was a team sport. Have you seen curling? Yeah.

I mean, doesn't it look like, I know it's really difficult, but doesn't it look like it wouldn't be that hard? Like, we could get out there. I have the same thought that every American has where I go, give me a year, dude. I could be an Olympian. And I know intellectually it's not true, but it just looks so easy, you know.

It does, yeah. Ruth said there's a place here in Nashville. You know how they have axe throwing places. There's a place here you can go curling. Really? Yeah. In Nashville? And she said they had like a work event there, whatever, and they did it.

And she said it was so hard. Really? Yeah. Now, what are they doing? I know we just got the shirt about it. The broom thing. What is happening with the brooms? I think it's directing.

I really know nothing about Chrome. But I don't know what that thing's called. But directing. Like, what do you mean? Like, I think sweep a certain way and it makes it go a certain direction. Yeah, it's getting rid of like water droplets that get sprayed on there and frozen. So they're like getting rid of some of the friction. so that it'll create a path for that stone.

There we go. You get Tristan researching this episode. That wasn't research. This guy follows Curley. I don't like that mic over there. Take that mic away. Yeah. So it's kind of like shuffleboard, right?

You kind of push it and then you try to knock some others out of the way. I guess so. I don't know. This is going to backfire us, people who are into the Winter Olympics. Yeah, all the die-hard curling fans on there. All four or five of them. Well, again, I think people up north are probably really into it. But I don't think, do people play curling growing up as a kid?

Hockey, I get. Yeah. It seems like something Tristan would be into. Just to really know what about it. Tristan does it in his free time. Yeah. And, I mean, the Miracle on Ice, even I was a little too young to remember that. That's the other.

Do you know the Miracle on Ice? That's where Americans beat the Rush at the USSR. Yeah. I think I saw a movie about it. Do you believe in miracles? Yes. That's the famous Hal Michaels broadcast. Now, I read, I don't know if this is true,

but that aired on American television after the game had already ended. And it was pre-recorded. And Al Michaels had to pretend, at the beginning, had to pretend like he didn't know how the game was about to. I always feel bad for those. Plus in New York, so I wonder why.

I always feel bad for those countries. Like, even though like USSR. You feel bad for the USSR? I'm saying like the players themselves, Right. Because it's like, we win or let's say we lose. We get to just come back to America and just live our lives and be fine. And they lose. They got to go back to the USSR. It's like, and probably they probably kill them for losing. But if they win, they're heroes. Yeah. And I feel bad for them. Like, what is it? Creed too. I feel bad for the Russian guy. Because Creed's already a well. And Ovidrogo son. Yeah, Creed's a wealthy guy already. He's doing great.

Yeah. And then Avondrago's son has got to go back and his country hates him now and his life is in shambles. Yeah. I feel bad for him. I think, you know, the interesting thing about that, most people would probably think that was the gold medal game. It wasn't. Yeah. They had to play another game after.

I wonder if it would be as big of a story if they had not went on to win the gold. Maybe. It's impressive that they still could get up for that. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that was like a crazy game too. Like that one came down to the wire as well. So it could have been about that.

But they were just the favorites, right? And I was right about this. Prior to the game, ABC requested that the game be rescheduled from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. However, the international hockey, whatever. They declined the request after Soviets complained that that meant the game would be on at 4 a.m. Moscow time, Moscow time, right? So as a result, ABC decided not to broadcast the game live for their U.S. audience and tape delayed it. So before the game aired, ABC's Olympics host, Jim McKay goes, look, the game already happened. We know how it ended, but we're not going to spoil it for you. Isn't that crazy? Isn't that crazy? I mean, it was that big of a cultural event and it was aired on a tape delay?

Yeah. Nowadays, there's nothing you can't see. Yeah, you couldn't hide. I mean, it'd be social media. You can't even do that anymore. It'd be crazy. I remember, I mean, this has been a few years ago. I'm hanging out in the green room and Brian Dorfman's watching something on his phone. I'm like, what are you watching?

And he's like, my son's hockey game. And he went to some small. Dartmouth, yeah. Was it Dartmouth? Yeah. Oh, that's a pretty good school. He went to some rinky dink little. Okay, I didn't realize it was Dartmouth.

I thought it was a school I never heard of. Junior league. He's playing like Junior League hockey stuff. Bottom line is you can watch anybody's games now. Everybody's watching. There's a camera everywhere you look now. Which is good, right? If you get accused of something that you didn't do. Absolutely. Yeah, but if you did it.

Look, at the airport. At the airport heading home from Tampa. Right. I mean, we were on display the whole time we were on that cruise. And at the airport, that was the case too. And I get there and Southwest has a regular baggage drop off or a express lane. Yeah, the priority line. Now, I just got it bumped up to A-LIS preferred a couple months ago.

Nice. First time I really dealt with this. So I get there, there's decent long line for the regular and express whatever. But I know everybody's watching me. And I'm thinking, if I get in this express lane, I'm not sure if I have it or not. and get up there and they say, sir, you're not, I mean, people are going to comment about it. So I get in the regular line just to be safe. Dusty walks in. I've been in line for 10 minutes. Dusty walks in, walks right up and gets there almost immediately, right? Yeah.

I said to the person working there too, I go, I don't know if I'm priority or not, but I'm just checking. And she goes, just go ahead. And I still don't know. Someone wrote it and said, Dusty ends up going right ahead of Brian, which is not true. Not true. You beat me. Yeah. You've been there longer, but you did be there. I was there a lot longer.

Yeah. Bottom mind is everyone's watching and they'll just change the punchline to make breakfast look bad. But yeah. I got to tell you, yeah, the, I may list prefer it on Southwest too. And using that priority link, that's the only time I've kind of felt bad about. You always feel bad about these things. Never feel bad. Get clear.

Cut everyone. No. Do it all. You have clear. You shouldn't do clear. Yeah, have Clear, I have TSA players. I can't believe you do. I'll cut everybody in the whole airport.

I can't. I actually can't believe you have Clear. I've had it for a long time before we ever talked about it. Yeah, okay. Before you thought about what it's doing and all that kind of stuff. No, I mean, I was immediately paranoid about it, but I, you know, they got me. I felt like I was going to miss a flight. So I signed up real quick.

And you've renewed since then? You're paying? Yeah. That's too bad, man. We went through security. add that to my Dusty's Hypocracies list that I got. Yeah. Well, you guys have already trashed me on this podcast for having Clem.

Yeah, Nate does trash too. Yeah. Nate has it too. Yeah. But, you guys are all hypocrites. Well, I don't know that Nate's every week preaching how the government spy on it. I don't have real ID, you know, and so I use a passport at the airport. But with Clear, I just go right on through.

I don't even need to show an ID. Are you opposed to real idea or you just haven't done it? I am. And I don't exactly know why, but I... It feels like the thing to do. Well, wherever the government's like, hey, the idea that you have, not good enough anymore, come down here and get a different one. I go, I don't know.

Yeah. I don't like you doing that. I get it. And also, I don't want to go to the DMV. I renew online. Yeah. Real idea you got to do in person, right? It was a pain.

Yeah. Was it for you? It was a pain. You remember my picture got rejected? Oh, that's right. That's right. It was a whole saga. Yeah.

You know, but I was happy to do my part as a citizen. Yeah. Yeah, well, good. Good. Well, the Olympics, the original Olympics... I just want to have my old ID. I just want to catch my flight. Drink my beer.

Sit in my sea. He's crying. I got to see this song. If he wasn't crying, it'd be. less ridiculous. There's a lot of things he was emotional about. He was in tears.

I understand. I just want to catch my flight. I like that. I just want to catch my flight. Be waiting a t-s-a. I just want to. Listen, I hope he doesn't watch. I mean, there's a good chance

that a Nashville musician watches this podcast. He was from Nashville? I'm sure he's a country singer. Yeah, it's Lee Bryce. He's like a big country singer. Oh, okay. I'm sure he's a,

I only saw that clip and out of context. I got to say it's hilarious. I watched the full song. There's really no context for it. Okay. I think that should be our theme song. Yeah. I used to think I had a pretty good handle on my finances until I actually looked closely. One month, I opened my bank statement and realized I was paying for multiple subscriptions. I didn't even remember signing up for, some of them more than once. that was my okay

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All right. So the original Olympics started in ancient Greece. Okay. And they were all naked. Yeah, I was getting there. Okay. Sorry to jump the goal. It's all right.

What do you think about that, Dusty? It makes it better. I'll tell you that. Make you watch? It was only men competing. Oh, well, all right. That changes that. It was only men competing.

Married women were prohibited from even attending to watch. Well, that makes sense. They had some problems. Emperor Nero entered the Olympic chariot race, and he fell off his chariot, but he still declared himself the winner. And then you'll appreciate this, Dusty. Emperor Theodot. a Christian called for a ban of all pagan festivals, so they stopped the Olympics.

All right. How about that? I love that. You said the Olympics were a pagan festival? Yeah. Well, maybe that's why I don't like it. Indirectly. I had no idea.

Yeah. How about that? Okay. Then they cranked it back up 1,500 years later, 1896, back in Athens, Greece. Used to be the Summer Olympics and Winter Olympics were always the same year. Did you know that? They went that long without starting the Olympics again? 1,500 years, yeah.

Really? Yeah. Oh, I just assumed for some reason I thought... You feel like it's been here forever, right? Through like during the Black Plague, they were doing the Olympics and stuff. But they weren't. I mean, there's people who almost could still be alive that when the Olympics started like. That's crazy.

Yeah. Wow. There actually is a bit of a conspiracy that there's a thousand years on our calendar that's not real. Okay. Like that we're really in like... Well, that is true. 10, 26. Oh, okay.

Not 2026. Does that have any practical? like what's different if that were the case? I don't know. Like I'm just saying like what am I supposed to do with that? There's a thousand years missing. Nothing. I'm just telling you. Okay.

That, you know, we're just wrong about, you know, the time. Okay. And how many years we've been around. All right. What do you all think about this? There's Summer Olympics, Winter Olympics. I propose Spring Olympics. Oh.

Hold it in Tennessee where you never know what the weather is going to be. and that makes you combine the best of two, your two sports. Right? Yeah. What if they're like, I'm going to try this as a joke tonight. Skiers, I know we got six inches snow last night, but the high today's 80. So if you don't get down to this mountain in time, you're going to have to run. You've got to find a way to get down.

Oh, yeah. I love that. I like it. Yeah. The Spring Olympics. Yeah. Just guys out there with allergies. Spring and fall Olympics?

Spring and fall. Yeah. spring and fall. Every year there's an Olympics. Yeah. You know? Oh yeah, to spread it out?

Spread it out. Yeah. I like that. All right. All right. I'm going to tell it tonight. So the week before the Olympics in on Friday. Only time to tell it.

Oh, it's the end of them. Yeah. How long do they go? I think three weeks. Three weeks. How many have you watched? My wife's very into the Winter Olympics. Yeah.

It's just running continuously at our house. Really? So I've watched a lot of, A lot of the figure skating stuff I watched. I watched our guy go down. He was the heavy favorite. Figure skating? Yeah.

I watched him. He went down. The guy that could do a backflip, nobody else can do a backflip. Wow. Apparently there was a guy. I think he was a skater and he won something and then used his time to talk about how the love of his life. Yes. I saw that.

But he had been dating her like six months, something like that. And he had just won the gold. Something like that. He was in another country. It was French, I think. And, yeah, he posts game interview. He was like... In English, you're saying?

No, no, no. It was in... Okay. We're subtitles. And then his... The girlfriend was uninterested. After he cried... After he cried on TV.

He won a gold medal, cried on TV, and she goes, I'm good. That's how far the Olympics have fallen. What sport... He confessed the cheating. Oh. There you go, too. Look at that. was this?

I don't remember. He cheated on his girlfriend that he, you know, that he had for six months. Right. And then one gold. One gold cried on TV. Yeah. And she said, I'm good. Coolest guy in France.

He should just, you know, it seems like he's doing all right. He should just move on. Here's some obscure Olympic rules. Okay. Race walking. Have you seen race walking? I have. Is that the summer Olympics? the Summer Olympics, the runner, the race walker must always have a foot on the ground and cannot bend their knee.

I like the idea that it's people of different races walking and how they walk. That could be for the spring olympics. Yeah, yeah. Have you seen competitive walk? Have you seen this? Oh, yeah. Speedwalking? Speedwalking.

It is interesting, though, right? How running is a different gate. Like, it just looks silly. That is me running. That is me running right there. I bet this. Brian late for his flight. This brings in the women here.

Brings in the women? This bring is in the women, I bet. You go, what are you doing the Olympics? Oh, I'm a speedwalker. Oh, look at her. See? She's... Look at me.

Yeah. Look at me. Yeah, look at this guy. Water polo players. You ever played water polo? I never had. I played Marco Polo. in the water.

Yeah. Water polo players, a little different. Kind of safe. That should be a living sport. Marco. It'd be great TV. Water polo players

required by official rules to clip their toenails before competing. Apparently there's a lot of jabbing that going on underneath. Probably fingernails too then, right? I guess. But toenails, you can do some stuff underwater

and nobody's saying. I wonder if they get cauliflower ears like wrestlers and boxers do. Are they pounding each other inside the head? Well, I mean, if they're scratching each other with their toenails, I imagine they're... I think there's probably some arms involved. More of a shin issue. Oh, okay. A cauliflower shin.

That's disgusting. That's got to be cardio-wise, that's got to be the hardest sport. I have to think. Because you're swimming? Dude, you're treading. water and swimming and playing a sport. Do you think you could blend in as a water polo player? No, but I bet you think you could.

Yeah. Dude, I don't think so. I don't think so. You know, give me a year. Okay. Are they, I can't remember. Are they up to their naked water? I mean, the water, the water's, they're in like Olympic swimming pools.

Like the water's arbitrarily deep. Okay. They're not touching the ground. bend and a shallow end and it's like football. If Dusty could get in the pool before they start the telecast and he's already up to his neck, then I think maybe he could pull some stuff off. I just don't think they need to see you jumping into the water.

You don't know what I look like jumping in the water. I know, I have a guess. Players cannot touch the bottom must tread water the whole game. What do they look like jumping in, these guys? Are they diving in like swimmers? I think the game starts with them in it, so it's not so much about the jumping in. So you're saying if you start with you in the place. That's what I'm saying.

I'm saying. I'm saying he'd have a better chance if he's already in the water. I don't even know what they do in water polo. It's like you're trying to get a ball into a net. It's kind of like basketball, but you're in the water. No, there's a net and a goalie, so it's like a soccer goalie. Yeah. But then it's like basketball trying to get. get the ball. Yeah. Yeah. So, and you're doing all that treading water. Like, it looks so crazy

difficult to do. Um, equestrians are under no circumstance allowed to speak during their routine because they don't want to influence the horse. Someone got penalized for doing a clicking sound, which got their horse to go a little faster. How are you supposed to communicate with it? I think just the, through the rains. Yeah. You whip it. Don't you whip it? Well, that's how horse racing. Yeah. But I don't know about equestrian events. We're talking about like the dancing, where you just kind of gallop around and stuff. Oh, okay. Right?

Like doing that. Yeah. You know? Looks like me speedwalking. I'm starting to see why the Winter Olympics are not that popular. This is the Summer Olympics. Oh, okay. I think this is awesome.

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And then you had a great set. Oh, thanks. You were very focused. I give all the credit to Ultra. Yeah. Ultra is the ultimate. You should have seen this set before the pouch. It was a mess.

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Yeah, man, that'd be awesome. You'd watch that, right? Yeah. Boy, they're having an actual duel. They would, see here. They would shoot at whack. They either shoot at each other with wax bullets or shoot it at a figure. Okay. I like the idea of shooting each other with the wax bullets.

Yeah. That would be some good TV. Yeah. Underwater swimming, just seeing who can go the longest underwater? Really? It's a breath-holding competition?

I guess so. Oh, that's crazy. How long can you hold your breath underwater, do you think? Five seconds. No, I can do over a minute, but not much longer over a minute.

I used to be able to do like two minutes back in the day. I don't think I have the same lung capacity that I used to. I used to love doing that. But you can do it for like five minutes before your brain starts to be affected by it. Yeah. You know, I think you get to- I never could do that. But I think you have the willpower. You could do it. Yeah. I think you could do three minutes. Who was it? Start it right now. Go ahead. What magician did it? David Blaine did it. Yeah. How long did he do? He held his breath for a grand total of 17 minutes. in four and a half seconds.

Wow. The previous record before that was 16 minutes and 30 seconds. He broke it by, you know, over 30 seconds. That's crazy. He, it was, he, the feat was accomplished using oxygen-assisted static apnea, where he inhaled pure oxygen for 20 to 30 minutes before he went in the water. Oh, so, you know, kind of like a performance-enhancing drug. Yeah.

A little bit. Still kind of impressive. Very cool. Yeah. But it's like, yeah, you're not just a guy jumping in the wall. I'll just try it right now. Yeah. Yeah.

Do you hold your breath when you pass graveyards? No. Do you ever do that? I take my hat off. You all do that too? Maybe that's our generation. That's a... Don't put you...

That's a millennial slash Gen Z thing, I think. So you don't do that? No. I never even heard of that. I think is it a superstition or what? Yeah. Yeah, and I still do it to this day. If you drive past...

the graveyard, you hold your breath as you pass it. So the spirits don't get in you. So the spirits don't get in you. I never knew why I did it. But I thought it was just out of respect. Let me ask you as this. Because they're not breathing. Let me ask you this. When's the last time you saw a new graveyard being built? I saw a one that looked like it was jumping the other day. Being built? It was, there was a huge plot of lane and they only had a little corner over there doing work on the rest of it. So it looked like a relatively.

new graveyard. That's amazing. But I'd like to hear where this train of thought is good. Well, I've never, I've never seen one being built. Okay. I've never knew anybody that saw one being built. And people are dying all the time. Yeah. And where are they going? You think, I bet a lot more people are getting cremated now. But where does that go? You just go in your house. Into an urn or whatever the family wants to do with it. Yeah. Or some people can have it. There are places at the graveyard that can put? I just think a lot of people are dying. Most.

Yeah. Almost everyone's dying. Yeah. And where are they going? That's what I'm saying. I don't have a grand conspiracy behind it. Yeah. But you just would think there would be more graveyards.

Yeah. Well, I mean, eventually, if everybody did that, the world would be covered with graveyards. Yeah. We're going to run out of space. Or we're just going to have to, on top of already dead people. Double deck? Yeah.

It's a double deck. Yeah. Yeah, Johnny W. has a joke about that. I think some states do that. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, if they're six feet down, then you got room for, put me on top. Yeah. Some people think that they're serving people at fast food restaurants. Okay. Now, even if they're doing that, I'm not saying they're not. I don't understand what you're saying. Like when you go eat a hamburger at a fast food restaurant, it's human. It's dead human meat.

Oh, yeah. Like literally. Because the graveyards are so overcrowded, they've cut a deal with McDonald's under the table. We'll give you the bodies. But my point, though, even if that's true. Yeah. I still feel like they would be putting up the facade,

you know, like still like this person's buried here. So where are they at? I think, I don't know of any new cemeteries, but I certainly know of cemeteries that are expanding, that are adding. Okay. Yeah. I think this might become a real problem, like, soon, but I don't think we're quite there yet. Okay.

I don't think we're quite there yet. We'll check in in a few years and see what's going on. All right. Yeah. Mark it. You know what I mean? Yeah, we'll put a little mark. Put a little pen now.

We'll come back to it. Fold the page here, yeah. Painting was a Olympic sport from 1912 to 1948. Oh. What happened with painting in the 1940s that made them stop doing that? Television. Yeah. I don't know.

Poetry was also an Olympic sport from same time, 1912, 1948. Really? What would they do? You have to write a poem. They give you a prompt and you have to write a poem in like five minutes or something. But then someone has to judge it and how do you know, where you do an audience participation, like a comedy contest? Right, but you know, a lot of the judging unlike the figure skating or rhythmic gymnastics

or any of the stuff is done just by a judge like that too. You know, so it's not like... But I feel like you could make some criteria for what you're looking for out of a figure skater. But like a painting, I guess you could go how realistic it looks or whatever. Yeah. How does it make me feel? Why did they need judges for a spelling bee on the cruise?

Seemed like that would just be, you get it or you don't. Yeah, I think the same reason they needed a judge for the bingo. But I wasn't a judge. Exactly. That wasn't a judge. Oh, I thought you were a judge. No, I guess I was a judge, like officially, but... It was more just some commentary.

Yeah, yeah. There was a lady I hung out with in the cigar lounge, and she seemed to imply that she might have been cheated out of the spelling bee, that she spelled a word and spelled it correctly, but maybe... Do you remember the word she claimed? No. She spoke correctly? She wasn't upset about it.

She was laughing. We were having a good time. Oh, okay. But she made it seem like there was a word that they were using that was a southern word, but was actually a word. Was it jumbalaya? No, I doubt that was it. Because the guy who lost in jambalaya was pretty upset about it. Was it?

Yeah. He spelled it with a U. It's an A. It is a Naila. It is a egg. It is a egg. Yeah, everybody knows it's a A. What?

J.A. Yeah. No, J.A. No, just start with it. Well, you said, he said J and you said A. No, no, no, he said U. He spelled J-U. Jumb-Bow.

Oh, it's J-A. It's Jambal line. Jambal line. It's a Hank Williams song. Jambaline. That's what it was named after. The Redneck Games, aka the Hillbilly Olympics,

are held annually in East Dublin, Georgia. Start in 1996 when the Olympics were in Atlanta, Some of the events held were the cigarette flip. I'd be pretty good at that, I think. Just for distance? I think it's distance. Okay.

Yeah. Like shot put, but you're just flipping a cigarette. Yeah. Oh, that's amazing. Seat spitting. I could, yeah. Toilet seat throwing. That makes sense.

Like a discus. Yeah. Big hair contest. Wet t-shirt contest. Armipet serenade. He pointed at me when he said that if you're listening. A dumpster diving. Dusty's done all this.

Have you ever a dumpster died? I've never done it. I've been in a dumpster. I mean, I've dug in a trash can before, but I don't know that I've dug in a dumpster. You don't go, let's go get the dumpster behind the Dollar General after they close and let's go see what's in there. No, my mom and brother-in-law and sister knew where the Walmart dump was for, some time in Opelika and they would go out there and get stuff. We used to steal boxes from behind the Wind Dixie, but that feels different.

That's different. Yeah. I mean, I've had to dig in a trash can, you know, but I've never jumped in a dumpster. I did jump on a dumpster when I threw a mattress in there. Yeah. I jumped on it to push it down. Okay. It's a story.

I got a YouTube video about my old mattress. Mm-hmm. Mentioned an every helix ad for the last two years. Episode three, we're already in repeats. He's told the devil went down to Georgia Olympic story twice and... Not on this podcast. Not on this podcast. This is all new.

I thought he did. Maybe I did. Episode one, I thought. Well, listen, you're bringing up Olympics and this is my favorite memories of it. Yeah. Dominique Dawes, I think, was a... Dominic Mucciano, Dominic Dawes. She did the...

And then Carrie Strug? Was that the... Yeah. She's the one that... hurt her foot. Yeah, but she still landed the... Wow, with the broken foot. Yeah.

Dang. Do you remember who lit the Olympic torch that year? O.J. Simpson? Muhammad Ali. He did it at one point, did. Muhammad Ali. I don't think O.J. did. OJ.

OJ. carried the torch for a while. I don't think he was the last guy. Muhammad Ali, because he had Parkinson's real bad about that time, and he was shaking pretty bad doing the thing. He set half the room on fire. Yeah. No. No.

But, but... Yeah, it's a good memory. Good job. All right. So if we were going to hold some everyday Olympics, some things that real life stuff, not sports, just real life stuff. What's some things you think you would be good at that you could excel in? Filling up the gasoline to the exact dollar amount and stopping it right on the dot. I'm real good at that. I'm better at that depending on how expensive the gas is when. gas is near $5 a gallon. That's tough to do it. That's true, but that's part of the game is adjusting for whatever the price of gas is. Now, would you get more points if you stopped it on that before it stops itself?

Yeah, I think you can't go over. You can't bust, but you've got to get as close or exactly whatever amount we agree on. I like that. I like keeping the gas theme going. Can you pour gas into the lawn more without spilling it all over the? I like that one. That's a good one. I have an electric lawnmower, unfortunately.

I hate it. You ever see somebody's entire opinion about you change immediately? He does the shoulder shrug. My yard's not big enough. If I had a bigger yard like you do, I'd go, I'd get a zero turn. I get a riding lawnmower. I get something. I don't need the power.

But I like the sound of a lawnmower. like even a pushmore. I like the sound. I like the feel of it. I like the smell of it. But I just don't, I can't justify it. So do you have like an extension cord? No, it's, it's wire with a longer.

Battery operated. I thought you said electric. Yeah, it's a battery though. Okay. Well, that's not electric. I like the idea of the evidence. What are you talking about? It's battery operated.

Yeah, an electric battery. It uses electricity. So you have to charge it? Yeah, with electricity. That's my point. What are you saying? You're saying if there's not a cord that is not electric? Yeah.

I got to, I mean, I got to back Brian up here, though. I think it is electric powered, but it's battery operated as opposed to electric when you just plug it directly in. What do you think a battery gives the long-in-over? But I do think there is a difference in title. It's battery-powered versus electrical. All right. Yeah, really. Don't drop the thread here.

I got to change the electricity in the flashlight. Yeah, I got to go switch out the electricity. Would you say it's an electric flashlight? No. Battery operated. But what, do you know what a battery gives electricity? There's acid in there. Acid powered flashlight?

Okay. My bad. I have an acid powered lawnmower. Lithium. Lithium acid. Hey, guys, I'm just asking questions. I get, hey, look, I'm just, I'm just asking questions. I'm just trying to answer.

I'm thinking. It's all going over y'all's head anyway. All right, here's some that, some I found online. Those are both very good, by the way. Okay. I think. Both gas related. We didn't get too far off of.

But they're good ones. Yeah. Someone posted this, folding fitted king size sheets. Like, that's a competition, so you could fold. Folding. I'd like assembling a bed, I think, would be interesting. I'm bad at it, but I'm bad at it. but I like to see people that are really good at assembling a bed quickly.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm pretty good at that. Sometimes I want to watch, like, if you're in a hotel and it's really well made, I almost want to go. I'd like to show me how you do that. Oh, yeah. I'd like to see how you get that done.

What about rock skipping? Is that an Olympic event? That feels like it should be. People do it competitively. Yeah. I like rock skipping. Were you ever good at it? Yeah.

How many could you do? I don't know. I've done, you know, I've had some moments where I've really hit big. I don't know. Yeah. I've never been able to do it very well. I mean, I wear myself out doing it, but I love to it. Is your motion just the sidearm?

Yeah, yeah. It's hard a lot of times, like Percy Priest has a nice little spot and has some good rocks, and I've done it there, but the real key is you want to be as close to the water as you can be, as level to the water, and it's hard. You're always a little elevated. I love skipping a rock. Is there certain types of rocks that do better? Well, a flat, heavy rock, I think, does the best.

With a little, almost a little square-like, because you can put a little spin on it. There's an annual tournament, rock-skipping tournament in McAnall Island in Michigan, where we've been. Remember McAnonnell? Oh, yeah. Spelled Macanac. Yeah. They do stone skimming competition there. And then they have the international competition in Scotland every year.

So some people do it pretty seriously. Yeah. Stones may be no more than three inches wide and have to be found on the island. I like that. In Scotland. So you can't bring in some ringers. Bring in ones that, yeah, exactly. I love that.

I'd like to see. I mean, yeah, I'd like to compete in that. Yeah. Just against y'all. I'm no pro. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

We're just buddies. There's a couple of public figures out there skipping rocks. A couple. I mean, three, a few, a few. The 2025 World Championships had a scandal involving competitors that used artificially modified rocks that were ground into perfect circles to increase performance. See, I don't like, I mean, maybe I don't know what I'm talking about,

but I don't like a perfectly round one. I like a little, I feel like I can get a better spin on it if it's got a little corner to it. Because you got something to put, okay, I can see that. All right, here's some other ones that I came up with. Ordering at a restaurant and having the waiter ask the fewest questions. I like that. Oh, I can, I'll win that immediately. You can, that won't ask one question.

I'll do. Oh, I got one. I'm like a fast food window. Okay, fast food. I'll nail, I take pride in that. Just like saying it perfectly. And then they go, is that it? Yes.

This opens a lot of doors for me. I was not thinking in this way. Okay. Here we go. Now I'm ready. Yeah. Uh, self-checkout, speed at the self-checkout. Who can do that faster?

That's what I'm talking about. That's pride in me. I watch people doing it and I go, they're all doing it wrong and they're all doing it slow. Yeah. Watch how fast I do it. Wow. I like, uh, yeah, give me, give me some tips. Well, you just got, you know, you just got to know where the stuff's at.

And you just got to jump in there and you go, boom, boom, boom, you scan it. You don't mess around. You use the handgun. I like to use the handguns. I like to use the handguns. And then, you know, when you got to look up, you know, vegetables, you just go right for the number. You find the number, go do-do-do-do. You don't try to type in what kind of vegetable it is.

You go right for the number. I'm of the opinion. If you're doing stuff like that, you don't belong at the self-checkout. If you've got all kinds of stuff like that, go through a regular. Yeah, you're holding us up, Dusty. No, I'm not worried about you. I'm worried about, I'm saying in general, if you've got stuff, well, I've got to weigh it and enter it and do all. Just go through a regular thing.

I'm doing that stuff faster than people are ringing up a thing of gum. Okay. They're going, oh. Where's the bar code? I got to hit the button. I'm just walking out with it in my pocket. Yeah. I'm beating all here. And so many things like ordering coffee at a Starbucks.

It's like how, I mean, granted, I'm making a very simple order, but I'm behind people and they're just like, I go, what are you doing up here? What are you doing? It should be a separate line for just single people. I've been making that argument for a little. a long time. If you just want a black coffee or even coffee with cream, let's make a faster line here. How about debboarding a plane? Oh, yeah. I think I'm one of the better plane deborders. How fast can you get your bag out of the, how fast can you be a big, strong looking grown man and not be? I can't get it. I can't get it. And then it did these people that act like by the time it gets to

them, they act like this is the first they've thought about how they're getting off the plane. Yeah. How are you not ready to go? Yeah, I know. You guys immediately stand up as soon as you can. Not usually, no. I'd sometimes stand up before the thing. Dan, I'd get in trouble about it. The place is still taxi. I forgot to tell you.

We landed, I think we're going, we landed in Cleveland. We're on the ground, but we're waiting to, like, continue driving to our, whatever, our gate. Yeah. So they're like, everybody, please stay standing. And this guy is just like, I got to do it. gets up and he runs to the bathroom. Everyone keeps sitting. Yeah, everybody keeps sitting.

We're like, we landed, but we're not, we haven't gone anywhere yet. Some guy was just like, I just, I have to, I have to go. Yeah. And just ran up and ran to the bathroom, the whole plane through the whole plane. I feel like that was our flight from Nashville. Oh, maybe it was. Yeah, because I saw that guy. Oh, okay.

Yeah. And the pilot was like, we can't move until everybody's in their seat. But I understand the desperation. Yeah. But they're like, sorry. The whole plane's going to hate me, but I got to use the bathroom. You either hate me for doing this or you hate me for peeing my pants. He probably had more than pee that he's worried about.

You know what? The amount of time he was in there, I bet he did. Yeah. And I was clocking them as the whole plane was. All that stuff. That's all, yeah. And I want to say this too, Southwest, I've been saying it every time. I'm totally on board.

I was in line at a place, and I heard people talking. And they go, oh, this is my first time boarding with the new process. And another guy goes, well, it could use some improvement. And I'm just thinking, now it's just like every other flight you've ever taken in your whole life. I do. These idiots, they would make me so mad beforehand, people would go, these idiots that never fly Southwest. And then they go, wow, I truly stole their boarding process from the 80s, huh? And I go, you don't even know what you're talking about.

From the 80s? Shut up, dude. I would get so mad. I would get so defensive. Southwest. Just hearing about that makes me mad. You don't think they're smart people thinking about this? Yeah. I mean, I hated the old boarding process. I did hate it. But I mainly hated it. You never go, wow, Southwest really can get their act together. Right. Yeah, they make billions of dollars a year. I hated that I would have to go, are you, what do you, A5? You know, I hated doing that.

You hated talking to other people. Well, I hated. Yeah, real man of the people over here. I hated. I need when I have to talk to somebody and they go, I'm actually in B group. And you're like, Well, yeah, I don't talk to the bigger of people. But I mean having to be like, are you 828? Oh, because I'm 827, so I'm right in front of you. I like to do that. I go, are you 821? Because I'm A1.

Is that good? When do I go? After 45 pre-borders? Yeah, okay. You know, we got a little pushback. I was surprised on our whole thing about the moving walkway. how, you know, people need to actually be moving on it. Oh, yeah.

People, some people came after us. Like, oh, I'd like to. Yeah, I thought everybody would be on board with that, but there were some people like. I hear those people breathing. They go. They go. They go. One person goes, I like to use that as a take a break from walking.

Yeah. I say this with all due respect. You're not cut out for this world. Yeah. That was me that said that. Oh, did you go? But somebody else goes, must be. good to be in, must be nice to be in good health. And I go, oh, now I feel bad. Obviously,

obviously we're not talking about it. Well, yeah, it is nice. Well, okay. We went different ways. I mean, but, but it's also like, I'm in no way making fun of someone who's in bad health. Of course. That's not who we're talking about. But this is what you do. You get on the moving walkway. You move to the right. Yeah. And you just stand there. You don't block it. Yeah. If you got stand there, stand there, but don't block it. I agree with you. I agree with you. Obviously, I'm not talking about people that are disabled in anyway. But I just like the way

they set that up. Must be nice to be in good health. And I go, yep. Well, yeah. And I hope it doesn't change, but I'm not making fun of you for being in bad health. I didn't say, oh, if you're handicapped, stay off the moving sidewalk. Sounds like we need an airport. No, you just

said if you're hell of Geller, what would you even write a book? But deep down, you agree with that. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Look, I haven't read it. Sounds like the airport Olympics would be a thing in the self. The airport Olympics would be.

There's all kinds of stuff, man. Even just running the kiosk to get your bag tag, putting your own bag tag on. Making a bag that weighs under 50 pounds. I mean, can you handle that? Getting as close to 50 pounds as you without going over? Yeah, that'd be fun. You know what I do? This is what I do.

I don't, I'm not even close to it now. So I'm not worried about it, but when I used to pack my merch, I would try to get right at 50. So I would step on the scale at my house. I would see what I weighed. And then I would grab my bag and step on it, see what I weighed then, then subtract the difference. Wow. Genius. Yeah.

That's an Olympic athlete. I feel like that's not like a crazy formula you figured out. You wade yourself with it without it and you found the difference. Yeah, I mean, you're not doing that, but your scale can't handle it. Okay. But you said this, like, this was a beautiful mind formula that you cracked. I'm just telling you what I do. What I do?

If I want to find a weight, I'll take the weight. You have two things and then find the, it's like, yeah. I'm just telling you what I do. Right. Okay. I'm not saying, I'm the only one. But clearly some people aren't doing it. I don't think I've ever weighed my bag.

Yeah, see? You never been over 50 pounds accidentally? No. Yeah, I got a little thing that you pick up with it, and it'll tell you the weight. Oh. A little like hooks around it, then you hold it. Okay. It'll weigh it that way.

Here's something that. Or I can do math. I have a method that I do. Yeah. Yeah. And I bet people listen to this. Some people heard that and they go, that's a good idea. Yeah.

Dusty's a man of the people. Yeah. Yeah, you're too above everyone. You got all the, you got all the gimmicks, and you got all the, you got there with your little battery one more. You got your little weight, you got your little weight tool. Well, this is like, you know, when we were weighing the baby, you could, you, what? I just want to see where this is going. We'd weigh the baby in a diaper, right?

Mm-hmm. And then you would weigh a single diaper. Or you'd put a single diaper and then you'd zero. it. And then you weigh the way. That way, you're not including the weight of the diaper. Oh, yeah. But I never thought, wow, this is groundbreaking strategy.

Yeah. You know what I mean? But you told us about it. So you must have been impressed. No, I'm saying this is the same thing you do with your marshland. I mean, yeah. But I'm just telling you, you know, that's what I would do to get the weight. I'm just trying to share a tip.

Yeah. You know what I mean? I mean, I wasn't trying to be like. I can't remember how you introduced it. But in my head you go, well, actually, you want to hear something. This is what I do. And then you said it. Good little goodwill hunting situation.

What I wanted to, yeah, that's how I wanted to open. I go, you think you're smart. Yeah. Listen to them. You know how easy this is for me? You know how freaking easy this is for me? How are you like them apples? Yeah.

Sit around and watch you. Who does he say that to? What a great movie. Who does he say that? The professor. Oh, yeah. His part, How do you like the Apples,

was to the guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then he catches on fire. Lights it on fire, doesn't it? Yeah.

Yeah. They should do a goodwill hunting, too. I'd like to know how it turned out for that guy. I just watched it this weekend. I'm like, they buy him a car. Then they, next thing they go to his house,

and they're so shocked when he's not there. That's such a great nitpick of that movie. Yeah, he just bought him a car. They buy him a car, but they're still. picking them up to go to work the next day. Yeah. And they're like, where's he in?

Right after they bought him a car. And he's on his way to see about a girl. But they're excited. Ben Affleck's happy. Ben Affleck's excited. And Casey Affleck's excited. He gets to move up to the front. Yeah.

What a great movie. That's actually, that is a really great example of what I like to think about, like, how people think they leave a legacy. And the reality is, nobody cares. When you're gone, they don't care. Like, you ever work somewhere and you think, when I quit this job, they're going to miss me. And they don't. They go. They go. Can I have your, can I have your spot?

Yeah. Yeah. Everybody moves up one. Yeah. They don't. They don't miss you. They don't miss you. Here's some I got from. That wasn't my takeaway of the movie, but I like, I liked that that was yours. Yeah. And then he went to that college where that girl was at and then. How long do you think that relationship lasts? Not long at all. Yeah. How long do you think, do you think? We never heard from Mini Driver again. They dated in real life. Oh, they did. I think.

But do you think Will Hunting and Skyler got married and had kids? No, he had too much baggage. I think he was back working with Ben Affleck in a couple weeks. A couple weeks. Breaking Rock. Yeah. I got drunk at the Christmas Patty and punched my boss. They fired me.

Yeah. Do you think Ben Affleck's character would really want him to leave? Like. I think that's. They're best friends, and he wants the best for his friend, right? Yeah. Yeah, I just don't know how realistic that would be. I'd want a goodbye from my friend.

I think he wants him to go off, make something about himself, and then bring the rest of them with him. Yeah, exactly. You've got a chance to get us out of here, buddy. Here's some from AI. The Memory Marathon, try to remember a password you changed yesterday. Oh, okay. I've got a pretty good memory, I think, about some stuff.

Yeah. I got a good memory about every password. except my Apple ID. Like for my phone, it seems like no matter what I do, I never remember that one. Are you changing it a lot? Changing the past one? I have to. Because I keep, every time I need to use it.

You got to forgot password. Yeah. And then I try to create a new one and they go, you can't use one that you've used in the past four months. Yeah, yeah. Carrying every single grocery bag in one trip. Oh, yeah. Dominate that. Yeah.

Dominate. How many think you could carry? Doesn't even... I can do it indefinitely. Yeah. Yeah. Do you evenly disperse them or do you find your dominant hand? Even, well, I probably get the whole left hand first because I'm also thinking about the door that I got to open.

Yeah, you'd have to open a door in this competition. I'm getting no help from Lucy in this. He's got to factor that in. It's all me. So I'm going to have to shut the trunk of my car and open the door. And unlock the door? I'm doing it all. Okay, it's going to be tough.

I like that Lucy's feeding the bed. I like that Lucy's not even getting the door. I love that. Well, let me, I'll just assume Lucy's with the baby somewhere, right? So she's occupied, so I've got to do it almost. Maybe weighing it. Was weighing the baby a crazy thing to them? No, no.

Yeah, yeah. No. Yeah. So I load up the whole left hand first. Okay. And then that's all the bags. I get all the bags on the left hand. And then if you got like, I don't know,

we got a couple things of Diet Coke or something, then, you know, I'll do the right hand. But I still have the hand open so I can get the... Do you don't put the Diet Coke's in a bag? No, too heavy for a bag. Double bag it. And you got extra... Gold medal silver medal.

You got extra bags for the diapers that you're throwing away. No, I've never thought to put the 12 packs in bags. Oh, 12 packs. I think of 12 packs. I'm thinking of gallons. Whatever. Two liters. Oh, two liters.

Yeah, whatever you would buy it. Yeah, two liters is different. I'm buying a 12 pack in the box. Okay, all right. So you can do two of those, two fingers in each. I love to do. Yeah. I actually get three just with the middle finger.

I can get three with one hand. Three, 12 packs? Yeah, yeah. can do it. I can do, if I put, I'm impressed. If I line three up side by side, I can get two and then with the thumb, I can get three. That's impressive. Yeah, thanks, man.

That's impressive. Thanks, man. Now, look, I've dropped a few along the way. But I'd say it adds up to a win for me. I used to, I walked to a lot of grocery stores on the road and I'll get stuff. And I've had a bag bust on me. It's the worst. And it is nearly impossible to get all your things after that.

Do you guys always go through this stuff? checkout? No, I think if... It's all what you got, right? It depends on how much I got in there. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah. That's one of the things I do for my family that I enjoy doing is going to the grocery store. I don't feel like I'm bringing a lot to the table some other areas. So like, honey, I'll go, she gives me a list. And you go alone? Go alone? I enjoy it. Yeah. It's fun to me. Brian's in there four hours.

Sometimes. But you like to go to the regular checkout. It depends on how much I have. Yeah. I mean, if I've got a card full of stuff, yeah, I'll go to the regular checkout. I'll tell you where I don't like it is sprouts. I've been going to the sprouts a little bit. One of them just opened to Mount Julian.

I'm not doing it. I think I'm rejecting it now because they'll stay. These two women just standing there at the self-term. There was no regular register open. And they were just standing there. They never said, hey to me. The whole time I'm checking out, the bags are like weird bags and it's hard to get them open.

Nobody helps. Nobody talks to me. Nobody says anything. Can I tell you something? I'm sorry to interrupt. Go ahead. Good. Phones are making society so much better.

They're making it so much more pleasant people. I don't mind waiting in a checkout line now because I can be doing, I'm on my phone. I can be checking email, checking stuff. It's not like I'm just seeing their twiddling my thumbs. Interesting. And I think people are a lot more patient now in lines because they have their phone. You got headphones on too? No.

Just completely tapping out of society. No. You said last week's episode. Can't do that. But, yeah, phones are where it's at. You didn't have the newspaper with you or something. Well, phones have changed my whole ability to wait in line. Yeah.

I went to a doctor and had to sit in the lobby for a while. But I had my phone. Had some headphones. Get into a little TikTok. Yeah. All right. To a little TikTok video about why there's no new graveyard. The competition?

Oh, no. Okay. All right. We'll do a competition next week. Okay. Do the Nate Land Olymp or the public figures Olympic. Something we can do here at the table? Yeah, yeah.

Like National Lampoons Vegas Vacation, where they go. You remember when Chevy Chase and Cousin Eddie go to the, where they're like guess a number or you don't remember that? In which one, Vegas vacation? I think I've seen that one time. I feel like the vacation. movies. Tristan.

I feel like the... Tiesto concert? What is going on? Yeah. The vacation movies, I feel like it went good, bad, good bad. Vegas vacation's amazing.

It's one of my favorite ones. I don't agree with you. I think European vacation I don't like. Yeah. That's the only one I don't like. Did you like She's the Man? He didn't like it? No, but I think it's just a generation thing.

I think that's a teen movie that, you know, I could see how... What'd you want to watch? 12 Angry Men? We didn't even talk about that. I was perfectly fine watching the movie, but I'm not going to lie and say I enjoyed it. It got 43% of Rotten Tomatoes,

so don't act like I'm the only one that didn't like that movie. It's kind of... But I could see how if it came out when I was in high school, I would love it. Yeah. I thought it was interesting because it came out right I just have to read, read, read the 12th night in school. It's about a girl who disguises herself as a man. Yeah. It's like a central plot point of the play.

But all of Shakespeare's plays, it was all men. They didn't have women actors back then. Yeah. So any woman character in a Shakespeare play would be played by a man dressed as a woman. But in this play, it's about a woman who disdain. disguises herself as a man. So it would be a man. Man playing a woman.

Who's playing a man? Who's pretending to be a man in the play? And you're like, I don't know how they made this work. That's meta. In fact that that's super meta. In sin of a woman, Al Pacino plays a blind guy, but there's a scene where he's driving a car and the cop pulls him over and he has to pretend like he can see. Yeah.

So that's kind of the same thing. Yeah, it is the same. He's driving a car? Yeah. He's blind. You're saying that he did... You're saying? No.

He, like, drives some sports car. I mean, I know that reference. All right. That's all you need to know about that movie. Whoa! I'd say that's a movie that really took him over the top. Where he jumped the shark. Yeah.

Yeah. So, yeah, the first episodes we asked, people submit. I think it was sharing an encounter with a public figure that you have had out in public. And then I think the second one for episode two was about love. And it was share something that you love, an object, not a person, right? So people submitted and I guess we're going to see it. Hey there, public figures posts.

My name is Jared. I'm up here in Cold, New Hampshire. But I just wanted to chime in on my public figures encounter. You guys might not think it is. I think it is. But a couple months back, I was working on the videography team. down in Cancun, Mexico at the high-tide getaway music festival.

Dusty Slay was performing there. I didn't think I'd get a chance to meet the guy, you know. But him and his wife were out and about, walking around. I think they were getting some, like, water shoes or something. I was kind of nervous to meet him, you know, and I, like, walked by. I love his accent. And I said, all right. And he turned around, and they were like, hey.

And he just started chit-chatting. I'm a huge fan, dude. Let me cut this. seeing you yeah all right we get it you met well that's the best example we could find i'm kidding i'm alive you know i'm excited to see you here and he's oh thanks you know and i wanted to give him his space because you know he was on vacation was what but um he just kept talking to me which was like super cool yeah i'm a man of the people then the weekend i kept like running in just getting better to him and he got like all right and you know he just being saying hi to me he commented on me we're having

a good time hat. That's all it takes. And I gave him a couple of my Wicked Coach promotion stickers, which is my videography, photography promo company. Nice plug. But yeah,

he was a super nice dude and love what you guys are doing. And it was awesome. I mean, when I know that listens to the podcast was super jealous, so they got to meet. The public video.

And I kept running into him throughout the festival. It was super cool. But yeah. Cheers, folks. Having a good time. All right. That is very cool. I understand why this guy is such a big Dusty fan.

It took 10 minutes to tell the 10 second story. Yeah, we said, keep it under a minute. And then the first guy is like, go. You call it out, I love that accent. This guy sounds, I'll listen to this guy talk about anything. Yeah. If this one, someone loves him. Say he's from New Hampshire?

Yeah. That's really cool. All right. We had a great time. Shout out to that guy. Who was his name? photographer at the photographer at the

the festival, the high tide festival. Yeah. With, you know, Charlie Star and Blackberry Smoke. Okay. And Dusty Slay. Yeah. Hey, everybody, this is Mokey Blaylock.

One of the things I loved growing up was boy band music. Much like Dusty, I grew up in the 80s and 90s and early 2000s, and I was such a big fan of the Backstreet Boys in sync and much like bootstrap, new kids on the block. Everyone always made fun of me. because I love boy band music so much. But the vocals and the way that they harmonized was so amazing to me.

Now that we're adults and everybody is talking about how much they loved them growing up because they're nostalgic, it makes my heart feel good even though people picked on me so much. Thanks, guys. Have a great day. Another terrible example. Okay. These guys have one job and they can't even pull it off. These are terrible.

Muky bummed me out a little bit there. People were making fun of. I don't know where he grew up. You know, I was a huge Backstreet Boys fan, but I, you know, I listened to a song here and there, and I don't recall anyone really making fun of me about it. What did he call me? Backstrap? Bootsrap.

Oh, bootstrap. Yeah. I met Mookie on the cruise. Yeah. I bet Mooky on the cruise. Mooky's a nice guy. Bummed me out. Yeah.

Because I'm like, I'm just thinking about Mookie getting picked on because he likes, you know, I wanted that away. and that makes me sad for it. So his was something that he loved and everyone thought it was dumb and now everyone loves them? Yeah. Everybody's acting like, oh, it's all nostalgic.

But he's saying back in the day, I liked it and people would make fun of it. I mean, they were our modern day barbershop quartet, essentially. Well, thank you guys. And he kept his tight. I like that. It was under a minute, I think.

That was tight. That was good, Mookie. Yeah. That was good. But if you've got something on the Olympics. Oh, yeah, yeah. So if you've got something, what should we say? We already had a great Olympic comment about the lady with Tanya Harding.

Yeah, that was great. Keep it under a minute unless it's about meeting me. And then feel free to flesh out your feelings. An Olympic moment that they experienced in person? Or favorite memories with the whatever. Or your own personal Olympic event that you think should be a real one. Okay. Yeah.

I don't know. That's a good one. Your own personal Olympic vet. Yeah. Can you beat the gas pump thing? Can you beat self-checkout? Carrying the bags. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. Something about what we talked about today. Yeah. All right. Just send us anything. Before we go, I do want to share some Nate Land News real fast. Yeah.

Nailan presents Brad up to March 29th at the Franklin Theater in Nashville. Beautiful. Same guy that directed my special, Jordan Levy. So it's going to be great. All right. Great. Nate Land presents the showcase season four, February 22nd, 23rd, and 24th. That's coming up this week, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday.

We're all hosting one of the shows. Sunday and Tuesday are sold out. I'm hosting Monday night, so somehow the word's gotten out. All right. And Nate's Big Dumb Eye World Tour this week, he's in Rockford, Illinois, Springfield, Illinois, Columbia, Missouri and Springfield, Missouri. Two Springfields on this trip. He is in Middle America. So go check that out.

Guys, we did it. We did it. Anything I want to say? This is great. I'll be in, you know, I got the Michigan dates coming up. But the next week I'll be in New York. I'll be in Poughkeepsie, New York, which is right around New York City. And I, you know, typically don't sell as well in that area.

So that's going to be a hot show. But I'm in Albany the next night, which I am, you know, I am very popular in Albany. Okay, just not Syracuse. No, no, no. Poughkeepsie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. is right around New York City. Okay.

And you did a show with me there one time, and not Poughkeepsie, but where do we go? We went right just above New York City to a Lovity Live in... Yeah, West Niac. West Niac. And that was some of the lowest sales I'd ever had. It's a hot show, though. It was fun. We had a great time.

We had a great time. But it was, this was years ago. Tonight, this is Aaron Weber speaking. Tonight, I'm in Houston, Texas at the Improv. If you're in Houston, come see me tonight. That's Wednesday. And then all weekend, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, my first full weekend at the Addison Improv in Dallas, Texas. All right.

Come out and see me in Houston and Dallas this weekend. Thank you very much. That's it. Arlington Draft House and Arlington, Virginia, this Sunday. Then back here hosting Nate Lynn Presents Monday. Okay. Bring us home, Dusty. All right.

Well, thank you very much, guys. Thanks for listening. we're having a good time. Okay. Well, folks, get to see everybody, can see everybody. Are you, anybody watching the Olympics? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Are you more winter Olympics or summer Olympics? Summer, summer, mostly summer. We're also some winter? Okay. I think they should have a spring Olympics. Spring Olympics. Here me out on this. And have it in Tennessee,

but where anything goes, I think people would be on board with it. I think you would bring out the best of both types of Olympians, right? Like if they told the skiers, like, guys, I know we got six inches to snow last night, but it's going to be 80 degrees today. So if you don't get down the mountain fast enough, you will have to run the rest of the way. At Tennessee Olympics in the springtime, that'd be crazy, right? Just guys deal with allergies?

I don't know. The Olympics are over in two days, so that's the only time we're going to tell this joke. Oh well.