The Nateland Podcast - 31: #31 | Frank Caliendo (and a Little Wisconsin)

Episode Date: September 2, 2026

This week, comedian and impressionist Frank Caliendo joins the guys to talk about his home state of Wisconsin but also his career as an impressionist while launching into incredible impersonations of public figures like Charles Barkley, Adam Schefter, Morgan Freeman, Joe Rogan, and even Dusty Slay.Helix: helixsleep.com/nateGo to helixsleep.com/nate for their Labor Day, Best of the web sale, from August 14th  to September 13thfor 27% off sitewide, This is exclusive for our listeners. ElevenLabs: Elevenlabs.io/natelandIf you run a business or handle customer operations across support, sales, or marketing, you can start with a demo at Elevenlabs.io/nateland. See how ElevenAgents can fit into your workflows and help build experiences that your customers will actually love. Dupe: Dupe.comGo to Dupe.com today and find similar products for less. It’s 100% free to use. Stop wasting money on brand names and start saving with Dupe.com today. #adAG1: DrinkAG1.com/NATELANDFor a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at DrinkAG1.com/NATELAND. 

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Public Figures podcast. My name's Dusty Slay, and I am one of the three hosts of this podcast, along with my two co-host, Aaron Weber. All right. And Brian Bates fresh off his new special Worried on YouTube. I was wondering why you gave his name a little more. Oh, yes. You know, with Aaron Weber and Brian Bates. Oh, let's not forget that Aaron also has a special.

special on YouTube called Signature Dish. Thank you so much. So we're pre-taping this. I think it comes out September 2nd. Is that what we're thinking? Oh, a month from now. So I just hit 100,000 views in real time. How many views do you think I'll have September 7th? You're at 120 by now. I'm thinking a million. I like the way you think, Dusty. Yeah, that's what I think. Million for both of you guys. What happens? Oh, thanks. Yeah. I'm already out a million, but yeah. Okay. Well, some people change their mind. Yeah. And what do you think happens between now and then the Brian gets 900,000 views. I think it just pops off.

You know, sometimes things have just got... He doesn't die or something, and that's why it goes viral. Just got to hit that right algorithm. It starts to, you know, they pick it up at the retirement communities, and everybody starts watching it. And they start, they should put your video on loop in nursing homes. Me too. I just went... I'll take it too.

I mean, it started really nice and it's gradually getting meaner and meaner. Put mine on the mental institutions. I don't care where you put it, but put it on the... loop somewhere. I'm fine with that, I guess. I was thinking more like, how about airplanes? Yeah, maybe a jiffy-loob waiting room or something like that. A jiffy-loop waiting room.

I like that. Just on loop. I bet they show tires. I bet they do, too. It's either tires or, you know, the price is right, Judge Joe Brown. And you can throw worried in the mix right there and that'll fit in pretty. Maybe even ads for oil. I bet they do.

I'm sure they do. You get that high viscosity oil or what? But you're already there buying oil. You ever get an ad for something you already own? Yeah. It's infuriated. Like a mattress. You buy a mattress and then they give you ads for mattresses and I go,

how many mattresses do you think I'm buying in here? Well, if it's helix late, it's never enough. This episode is brought to you by a helix. But I'm saying, though, I mean, you buy a helix and that's, you know, you never replace that thing. You folded one up through a dumpster. Not a helix. No, no. But you could watch that video on Dusty's YouTube.

That video is doing very well. I also have a special on YouTube called Working Man. So you guys... Formerly on Netflix. Formally on Netflix. And you still have another special on Netflix. I do called Wet Heat. Well, we're pre-taping this, but I do want to share one story in real time.

So yesterday I went to St. Louis and did the consumers. And last night, Greg Warren and I went to the Funny Bone to do the open mic. And I'm walking in and I see all the posters up on the wall for the upcoming shows. and I pretty quickly see mine. Like, hey, check that out, because I'm going to be there October 25th. And I sent you a, I think you got it, air dropped your photo of this. Everybody's headshot is their actual headshot. And I have no idea with this.

Mine is AI. Wow. And I have no idea why they did that. Wow. And it's all over the club. Wow, that is a good looking guy. You know what it looks like. This guy's not good looking enough.

We'll sell more tickets with a fake one. It looks like. It looks like I'm sitting front row at an IMAX theater looking at a headshot of you. It looks a little scrunch. It's a little like warped. Yeah. I just don't know why they did that. Your head is also so much bigger than your body.

Yeah. It looks like a bobblehead of you. This guy's making me laugh already, though. Dusty just bought tickets. I was so proud all of the head, and then I get closer. I'm like, wait a second, that's not really me. But anyway, come see me to St. Louis Funny Bone, October 25th. That's amazing.

I just have to find a headshot of you online, I know. That's my headshot. I don't know why they chose to change my face. They ran it through AI and they go, make this look a little better. Yeah. Came out a whole different guy. Clearly. My teeth look better there, actually.

Yeah, the teeth look nice. Oh, man. The hair's a little fuller. So I guess when I show up for the show, I can sneak in pretty easy because nobody's going to know what I look like. That's Brad Bates. That's Brad Bates right there. Anyway. That's amazing.

You want to get into these comments, Dusty? That guy looks smart. Yeah, let's do it. These comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple Podcast reviews, and mail at Natelandpodcast.com. The first comment comes from Matt Coker. My friends have been telling me to listen to the Nateland podcast for years, and I kept thinking I'd get around to it. When I finally did, I saw that a few months ago it had changed to the Public Figures podcast. So I decided episode one of the new show was a good place to start.

I don't have a lot of regrets in my life, but waiting this long to get on board with you guys is definitely one of them. I've been following Dusty since making that fudge. Okay, Matt. but I'm now a big fan of Aaron and Brian too. Okay. All right. Thanks, Matt. Thanks for getting on board. That sounds nice.

Thank you. And thanks for listening to making that fudge. That's my first album. It came out in 2014. It's on Spotify. All right. I got four albums on there. If you get bored and you've got a trip or something, go on Spotify.

I got four albums on there. That's a lot of fun. At the time of this taping, by the time this comes out, you may have another one on there. It could be. I am working on the fifth one to get up there. Yeah, yeah. Pauley G. 20 years ago, this podcast would have been a lot creepier. It's funny how as you become adults, age matters less and less.

Like the podcast, my, like the podcast, my two closest friends are 10 years older and 10 years younger and you'd never know it. Oh, I get what they're saying. Like, I would be 20 and you would be 10? So if we, 20 years ago, Brian would have been my age. 34. Yeah. And I would have been 14. It would be like me having a podcast with an eighth grader. And I would be 24.

Yeah. I mean, it would be creepy, I guess, that we would have a 14-year-old boy on the podcast. But, you know, you were running around on Hovercraft back then. So you were pretty cool, you know, Marty McFly. But Aaron, it would have been the only one to know how to put together a podcast. Yeah. It'd been creepy to have a 34-year-old man on your podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

I'd have been drunk the whole time. Yeah. Yeah, things would not have gone well if we did this 20 years ago. No. But if we're, you know, is that what he means by the age, though? Because if we're... Yeah. Because if we were just doing this in 2006, we'd be ahead of our time.

Oh, that's true. We would have been early on the podcast. It'd been even creepier. We'd have the biggest podcast of all time. Because it wouldn't be that many of them. Groucho T. If we were to see the three of you together out in the wild at maybe a game or sharing a meal and tune into your conversations, would they be similar to the way the podcast goes? Is this pretty much how the three of you interact naturally?

That's a good question. I say yes. Very often I'll get ready to tell a story, and I can't remember if I shared it on the pod or just shared it in our personal conversation. Yeah. That shows how it's basically the same. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think I'd probably share a bit more. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. We might use a few different words. Yeah.

Yeah. But nothing crazy. Yeah. You bad mouth a few people. Yeah. Well, for sure. Yeah. I mean, who doesn't? You always say that about me, but I'm like, we're all doing it. That's what everybody does. I just said, we badmouthed people. Oh, we bad. Brian always likes to talk about me. He always likes to say I'm badmouting people. No, I probably badmouth people more than anybody. I'd never talk about people behind their back. I'll do it, you know, in front of them, to them.

I mean, these guys? There's not a day that goes by. I'm not ripping them. I got to, sometimes I talk trash about people with people that I know are talking trash about me when I'm not around. Oh, yeah. It's not about. Like us. Yeah.

It's not about anything other than just, you know, talking. Mm-hmm. You can't get all personal with it. No. If people go, you know, so-and-so was talking about you at the thing. I go, yeah, I'm not talking about them, too. Come on. Be weird if they weren't.

Yeah. All right. Della? You think it's Della? Yeah, Della or Dela. Dela. Dela. I bet Dela.

Dela, okay. Dela. Dela. Dela. Taylor. Yeah, Dela Taylor. Yeah, Dela Taylor. Well, you don't have Dela.

Dude, you could just say Taylor regularly. Dusty, take it down a notch. I can't. Okay. You know what? Those Cahivas that we got. Cigars. Yeah.

They really did a number on me, I think. Dela Taylor. Dusty's confident passion regarding his playlist makes me so happy. I'm sure it's a hot playlist, but he promises it more than his show. Oh, he promotes it more than his shows. I love it. Well, I want to make something. there's nothing. Dusty promotes more than his own shows. He's plugged 10 specials and five dates

already this episode. You got to let people know. He do got to let them know. Dusty Slay.com have a lot of shows on there and they're all, you know, all, you know, go there and check it out. I think September 10th, I'm going to be in Charleston, South Carolina, but by the time this podcast comes out, that'll already be sold out. Well, what's the, what's going to be the title of this episode, do you think? I would think Wisconsin. Okay. Well, I'm going to be in Wisconsin, November 20 and 21st. in Janesville, and then 22nd, I'm in Appleton. So if you're from Wisconsin, you clicked on this episode, you can see me then. I'll be in Wisconsin this year.

What about you, Brian? Don't have any Wisconsin dates. Too bad. Now I want to just pitch my weekend. Well, see if there's a way you can work it in on this next comment. You know what? I'm going to be in, this weekend I'm going to be Zanis in Chicago, which is a suburb, basically, of Wisconsin. Basically Wisconsin.

They touch each other. Yeah. Our guest today was born in Chicago, but he grew up just outside in Wisconsin. Wow. All right. I'm sorry. Maybe I should. Yeah, yeah, you can take over.

Is this not going well? No. Nick Novelli. I feel like we've had him on a comment before because I always think it's no vacuum. Yeah. I'm reading it. I got to apologize to Brian and Ardvark. Oh.

I don't like that. I don't like how that feels, Brian. There aren't too many AA words, though. He says, I want to apologize to Brian and Ardvark for making fun of their CPAPs. I didn't even know you were doing that, Nick. I don't know you. You didn't have to say anything. He just assumed we're making fun of him.

Yeah, that's true. I used to think that they were for people of a certain age or body type until I got one. I've had a hard time getting used to it. So here I am asking y'all if you all have any tips. I'm down with Dusty's input as well. Well, I imagine Dusty's input will be different than... You don't need it. It's not real.

Yeah, just get more sunlight. Well, you should ground and get some sun. But what's some tips you guys have? Just do it. And never, never don't do it. You're tempted. Brian. See, Brian doesn't take it.

is on the road with them. Some people think you should tape your mouth shut while you sleep. Well, yeah, a lot of people think that. Yeah, well. I've never done it, but I do have some mouth tape. Are you a mouth breather, do you think? I don't think that I am, but I do drool sometimes. That's when I know I'm getting some good sleep. Good sleep, do you think? Yeah, I feel like when I wake up and I go, oh, geez, I've been out. Corner of the mouth. Yeah. And that kind of stuff. Well, your mask depends on, they have masks that cover your nose and mouth, and then they have ones that just cover your nose. What kind do you have? The one that just covers the nose.

I keep my mouth shut anyway. Okay. What about you? Just the nose. Do they have any that go over the whole head? Your eyes? Yeah, yeah, just like a fishbowl. C-PAP suit.

Yeah, do you have an astronaut helmet? No, nothing like that. Just do it, and you'll get used to it quicker than you think. That's my advice. Getting good sleep is one of the most important things to have a good day. Having the right mattress is what can make. or break your night. Having a great mattress is the biggest game changer, in my opinion,

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So if it's not the right fit, they'll work with you on returns or exchanges. There's a reason. Helix is the most awarded mattress brand. Go to Helixleep.com slash Nate for their Labor Day. Best of the web sale from August 14th to September 13th for 27% off sitewide. This is exclusive for our listeners. That's helixleep.com slash Nate for 27% off site wide from August 14th to September 13th. This is for this is for the Labor Day. Best of the Web, and again, it is exclusive for our listeners.

Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sit you. Helixleep.com slash Nate, period. Yeah, I tried the nose pillows, but to keep those in, where it works right, you have to strap it on so tight with your face that... It's uncomfortable. The mask was more comfortable for me. Do you find that you get better sleep? the C-Paps.

Yes. Yeah, I wasn't getting sleep. Yeah, for me, I don't notice a difference. Yeah. So you might be like, why do you do it then? Because my wife says I snore and I do it for her. It stops you from storing. It stops me from snoring.

Yeah, well, I had more significant, obstructive sleep happening. The Brian did. So I wasn't getting sleep. So I'm getting sleep now. I didn't get REM sleep in 10 years. Wow. I didn't have dreams, man. You weren't having any dreams?

Nah, I wasn't getting REM sleep. I've been having pretty vivid dreams. Probably for some things you're doing as well. Probably from all the drooling. Yeah. All right, Will Kirk. My wife and I were recently brainstorming what y'all's WWE finishing moves would be if you guys ever stepped into the ring. I hope your marriage is doing okay, Will.

They made me out of ideas. Yeah, bottom of the barrel, huh? We already have an obvious one for Dusty. The move, we're having a good time. A deceptively laid back slow motion sleeper hold delivered while casually adjusting a trucker hat. I like that. If you guys actually had a signature finisher in the ring, what would it be called and what would it be like? Didn't we have this discussion a long time again?

Yeah, I think because we did a wrestling episode. Okay. I don't know if Dusty was on it or not. No, it was just me and Nate. We did it. Yeah. I like a finisher that is that you know really wouldn't finish them off, like the Hulk Hogan leg drop or something like that where it's like, it's just a move.

I'm sorry to interrupt. It seemed like you would, your finishing move would be something, put the hand up. Yeah. That's what I think. I think the sleeper hold, like they're saying, but I'm also waving. And I'm going, we're having a good time. We're having a good time. As you put them to sleep.

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe I whisper in their ear. I go, we're having a good time. We're having a good time. Enough. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I'd do something breakfast. Yeah. Right before you do it, you say, I'll get you for breakfast. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

What would you do, though? Let me think. The scrambler. But what would the move be? Well, I don't know a lot of rest. He takes a whisk out. Yeah. Just hits them with it.

And in there like 100 different ways to make an egg? That's true. So they never know what's coming. That's true. Wow. Yeah. The man of 100 finishers. And then I would wrestle you and I would try to do the bacon move, but you would reject it.

Yeah. And then I would try to put you to sleep and you were like, I need my C-Path. that'd be a good finisher but it got to sleep Yeah you're like Jake the snake Roberts But when you go to your bag It's a CPAP You put it on them

Only if I'm wrestling Aaron Or someone else who needs a CPAP And then the next day they interview And they go It's best sleep I had in the years I had some dreams Okay Will I hope that helped you

Cain Colar You know Everyone gives Dusty a heart time for being mean to Brian, but every time Dusty says something important to him, like, I don't believe our maps, Brian just says, okay, and changes the subject. Well, I'll defend Brian on this one, because if he takes the bait and engages every statement like that, we're getting nowhere on here. But you guys believe the maps?

Yes. I'm doing that for the people listening. Like, give me an example of what I would not believe. On the West Wing, they show that there's a different map that shows the sizes. You know, the bad guy from Billy Madison, he is talking about the map and saying that you believe. Bradley Whitford. Yeah. It's a good way to describe it.

And he's going, oh, you think this. continent's this big, but really it's this big. Right. So to me, that's, you know, shows. Well, the map is a project. Here's why you have trouble with the map, because I think it's a projection of a spherical thing. And if you don't believe that, then you would go, yeah, this map is a lie. But I think they're doing their best. Yeah. You know? Yeah. But you can use other projections like in that episode. I think globes are accurate. I think maps of states are smaller accurate. If you get a

big map of the whole world that's flat, no, obviously that's not accurate. Greenland's way too big. That's what I think. Well, what's the example of something that's not Well, sorry, Kane. I mean, I don't know. I just think that they're like, this is, you know, this is what it looks like and I go.

I don't even know. So you're not saying it's some conspiracy, well, I guess you are, but what's the purpose? It's all a bit of a conspiracy, but... Yeah, yeah. If you just said, I just think they make mistakes. I could buy that. I mean... I think they make them on purpose. Okay. That's not a mistake. Well, Kane, I appreciate your support.

Yeah, okay. Change the subject. Well, I'm sorry. Maybe it's like the property line. You know, sometimes people are like, they're putting up a fence and they'll cheat a little bit. If the neighbor doesn't know where the property line is, you're like, yeah, my property line's right here. And nobody's going to challenge it. So maybe it's like that. Yeah, maybe so. I also bet there's some land out there. that we don't know about.

You know, like, what is, is it? What kind of? Pacific Ocean is next to California. Oh, they're uncharted islands? Yeah, probably there are a few. I just don't know if they're uncharted. I believe, I don't know what uncharted means. Maybe that means they hadn't charted them down.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that there's, you know, that's a lot of, when you're looking at a globe and you see that. It's a lot of ocean. I bet there's a whole other continent over there. Might be. And, you know, that's where people are hanging. hanging out.

West America. We think all our water's cooling data centers and it's going over there to that country. Yeah, I'm on board with that. Yeah. They got fountains just flowing. Yeah, I bet you're right. We're trying to make a comedy poster sucking up our water. Kane, that has proved my point.

Cade Brannon. Listen, I know that Dusty gets roasted by breakfast and Aaron, but he's always right. Our maps are not trustworthy. He is a step ahead exactly like Kramer. Okay, yeah, exactly like Kramer in the TV show. Hey, Kate. Kramer in the TV show. Here's what I'm asking.

Kate, are you getting lost on the way to work every day? Are you typing in an address and then the map takes you to Canada? Is that what's happening? Then like, what specifically do you mean? These maps are not trustworthy. Like they're all... Nah, Kate, I get what you're saying. I get what you're saying, Kate.

There's a lot that's not trustworthy. I feel pretty good about it. the maps. I do get lost sometimes. If your map is in a scroll form, I trust it. Okay. If you bring it in here and roll it out on the table, I'll go. That's a good map.

Yeah. Written before we actually explored most of the year. So when you get in a car and do GPS, you're like, look, I don't trust you, but I'm going to give you a chance. I go, well, yeah, I go, I know you're going to get me there, but does it look like really what, what's happening? No. You know what I mean?

No. Ryan Harris. By and large, is that how you say that? By and large? Yeah, how have you been saying it? Buy and? I think in, by in large. Oh.

By and large? Yeah. That doesn't make sense. By and large doesn't make sense either. Buy in large, like, for the most part. Yeah, yeah, no. I mean, I know what the expression means, but it doesn't make sense. Okay.

I have a, well, it'd be an inappropriate joke, but I'd like to, I'll figure out a way to say it. But by and large, okay, I agree with Dusty's views that big corporations shouldn't be trusted and their motives should always be questioned. His full embrace of AI for generating songs has me second guessing this. I would like to hear him explain why he trusts AI, which is funded by some of the biggest corporations around to entertain his kids. All right. It's an unbelievable point. I'd love to hear Dusty talk about that, but I do want to say, by and large is a sailing term that originated in the 17th century by meant sailing a ship close to the wind or into the wind.

Large meant sailing with the wind coming from the behind the boat's widest point. Isn't that crazy? I would never have known that was a sailing term. Now, back to you being a hypocrite. Well, I don't, you know, he says trust the corporations, a trust AI. I don't trust it. You're feeding info to it regularly, right? But just poems that are write.

Okay. Yeah, just an expression of your soul. Yeah, just some poems that are right. I'm making songs out of them. And listen, I'm not saying that AI is good, but what do you want me to do? You know what I mean? AI is moving into the world, whether we like it or not. Cities, even mayors and the people in certain cities, the people come together.

I think Salt Lake City was one where they all came together, voted against the data center. They had enough votes to make the data center not come. And what happened? It came anyway. They're just doing it. So, you know, I'm going to be the one guy out here not using AI. And, you know, I'm trying to. But if we all agree not to use it.

Yeah, but we're not going to, though. If we all agreed to not do a lot of things. Yeah, and you always push for that. The whole, everything would be changed. But yeah, I push for a lot of it. But, you know, nobody's listening. And so then I finally go, you know what? I think I'll get on board with one.

You go, oh, come on. I read today about Anthropic. They're doing all these tests to see how safe it is. And AI keeps, like, being sneaky and, like, breaking out of doing stuff it's not supposed to do and getting on the Internet and trying to trick people. And it's very scary. I'm also kind of glad these mistakes, these things are happening. So maybe somebody will be aware of them.

And that's obviously what they're doing, trying to fix these problems. But man, it's scary. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's going to destroy the country. Once we have, you know, we already have the Waymo cars. We always have driverless cars. So once we have driverless 18 wheelers,

everybody's going to be out of a job. And then once they get done burning down all the rural communities and we all have to move into 15-minute cities, it's going to be tough. And I, you know, I think at that point I'll be happy. I've written several albums of AI songs. You'll have a full catalog by that point. That pop-paw song is going to be really helpful.

And I can remember the time that I had a backyard and was able to grow pop-paw trees. Yeah. Yeah. While I'm sitting in a, you know, a tiny. Andy DeFrain, can't take away this. When I'm sitting in the data center and sane asylum. Mozart. Mm-hmm.

That's going to be you with the pop-paw. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hope. So, yeah, I mean, I don't, you know, this guy uses, he, he adds a lot of terms in his full embrace of AI. Full embrace, I'm like, it's an app on my phone.

I'm just typing in a little poem and it's making a song. Full embrace. I'm not married to AI. I'm not, I'm not going down to the data center and bowing down to it. I'm, you know, making a, you know, making a song. You know what I mean? Do you do it and your kids. And, you know, you've even got clubs making posters of you in AI.

I'm not happy about that. Yeah. I feel like I'm getting, even on this, I feel like I'm getting forced. Like, I'm gradually, they're just trying to get me off the pod. And I think Aaron's probably using it somehow. He's not telling us, but he's probably using it somehow. I've used AI to make posters, and Aaron's right. They're never good, but they're better than anything I could do.

Yeah, people are really, I see it all the time. They're so mad about an AI poster. And it's like, well, make me a poster. I've been asking people to make me posters. It's hard to get a poster made. What were you doing before AI? Well, that's what I'm saying. Two years ago.

I was asking friends. And, you know, I reached a status in comedy where I could get a poster made pretty easy. But I'm talking early on. Yeah. I used to reach out to a friend and he'd go, yeah, I'll make you one. And I got the poster, you know, two or three days before the show. I go, I needed to promote this show. It's not just for a goal.

going on my wall at home. I need to hire Aaron to make posters when it's at an ice cream shop in Obelika. Well, you know, I think even at that time, I was starting to find a few people that were reliable, you know. But yeah, I mean, if, you know, if Aaron weren't around and I was doing a show at an ice cream shop in Obelika, I might make an AI one. Yeah. Might be a picture of me or some, you know, a, you know, version of me, eating an ice cream cone, you know, going, Yeah, but the ice cream cone's a microphone, and it's melting. That sounds pretty good, actually. Yeah, it's good.

You got to know how to do it. Yeah. Okay, so, Ryan, now that your claim's been debunked, let's move on. Robert Grover, a lot of conspiracy theorists act like no-it-alls. I think what's so endearing about Dusty is his humility. Sorry. Sorry. You got, come on.

I love it when he says, I don't know why. I just don't think it's good for you. Yeah. That's right. I mean, Robert gets it. Yeah, Robert gets it. Yeah. I mean, everything's poisoning us.

And, you know, but what are you going to do? Andrew Lowe. A lot of people like to get so into the details. I just, I get the jest, and then I, you know, I can have a conversation. Sometimes if you know too much, you're impossible to talk to. Yeah. You know, just keep it light. Yeah.

Yeah. You're right in that sweet spot. Just going to casually gloss over the fact that Dusty and Aaron are both not able to whistle. Can Brian whistle? Sure. Wow. So not really. Sounds like an old man taking his last breath.

It's like a C-PAP. That's like a death rattle. This is as good as I can do. So the answer is no, none of us can whistle very well. You'd think if we could whistle, we'd be doing this? I'd definitely incorporate it on stage a bunch. We'd been out on the road. It's almost a good thing that I can.

I would do it way too long. I'm surprised you can't because you're good at everything. I think I just gave up. I couldn't do it right away and I got annoyed and I've never tried. I've whistled accidentally a bunch, you know, but being able to do it on command. My lip doesn't curl that way. I don't think it needs to curl. You can even, I can't even do like a, you know, a gym coach, two fingers in the hand.

Yeah, yeah. My mom could do like this, that kind of was. That's the one I mean right there. Yeah, yeah. All right, last comment here. Jack Bell, would you ever consider doing two shows a week or is that too much work for breakfast baits? You mean podcast? Yeah.

Okay. For me, it might be two shows, comedy shows a week. Yeah, he means podcasts. What we're doing two this week. Yeah. It'd be tough. We are doing two this week and none of us like it. No, we do like it because we're happy to have the guests that we're going to have on.

And so we are happy to be doing it. But, you know, but yeah, it's like, it's a lot. And it's a lot to, you know, pull it together. And, you know, we don't hang out that much. And so when we try to get together and fake it for four hours a week, it's a really tough. It's a lot. All right. Let's get the guest in here.

I had to call my bank last month about a billing question. you ever get that press for for billing and then he press the button and then you get music and then a robot voice answers you and it just takes forever right it's a nightmare yeah it is a nightmare as much as i can complain about it there's something nobody wants to talk about and that's the poor person on the other end when you do get to a person that job probably stinks man i worked in a call center you got to answer all his call everybody's mad and you're like it could not have less to do with you probably you're a cog in the machine right yeah that's where 11 agents comes into play if i ever needed 11 agents by 11 last it's what I'd use. 11 agents is a platform for realistic AI voices and chat agents that can actually listen, understand, and resolve customer issues. They can look up your account, process requests, and hand off to a person when needed. 11 agents helps create better experiences for customers while letting call center and support teams focus on the issues that need in a person.

If you run a business or handle customer service across support, sales, or marketing, you can start with a demo, at 11 labs.io slash nateland. See how 11 agents can fit into your workflows and help build experiences that your customers will actually love. 11 labs.io slash nateland. E-L-E-V-E-E-N-L-A-B-S dot I-O-S-Natland. Okay, all right.

And so we're back with our special guest, Frank Calliando. All right. All right. They're clapping behind the cameras. There we go. You guys didn't want to be seen. What am I?

Post canceled or something in the first month? It's weird to do it right in your face. Yeah. What? The clap? The clap. How much radio have you done? That's different.

That's not a positive clap. Yeah. That was the most. Yeah, that was a very. Just a back up from the camera a little bit. Golf it up a little bit. Something. Yeah.

I can't. I can only snap with the one hand. I can't do the other. Oh, that's a little bit there. Yeah. She'll work on that later. I'm going to be trying to talk like Dusty the rest of the show. Yeah.

Oh, my God. It's a little bit. I love it. I love it. It's just a little bit of that theory. This is everything I've always wanted. Yeah. It's unbelievable.

It's a dream come true. That's kind of thing. I don't even have to move my mouth the whole time. Semi ventriloquish kind of thing. We should all wear hats. That's what you should do. If we add you a hat and some glasses. Yeah.

If we had you a hat and some glasses. Oh, this is, Datsy. Why don't you go outside for a bit? I think we're good. without you. Thank you for doing this. We don't have a ton of guests on here. So this is a big deal for us. All right. We'll see how it goes after this. No, no. We always have a good time with it. It just doesn't, it's cool that it worked out. Why do you think that is? Do you think you don't want people usually? Well, I think we just started this iteration of this podcast. And I don't know.

We were trying to get our feet planted before we brought on other people. But it's somebody like you. I go, yeah, absolutely. Hop on. So this is great. Great. Yeah. Let's see if I can ruin the pod. Thanks for the pressure. That's good. I like that. I like that. I hosted for you years ago here at Zanies.

You looked familiar. And I was hoping it was a positive. Yeah. Well, it was it. You told me, I did one night. He told me to move on. Did you fire midweekend? No.

Did you get fired? No, I think it was just one night you were doing here. But it was great because there's a lot of celebrities that come out to see him because they know. Oh, there are? Do they talk to me? Kirk, Kherp Street. came back. Oh, Herbie, yeah.

It was a big deal to me. Without his dog, which is huge. You can get Kirk Herb Street without the dog. It's unbelievable. How'd you go? Are you two separated for a while? What's going on? So I'm sorry.

I told you, if I talked to him, I shut me up. I remember, I think I've shared this on this pod. There was another comic in the green room. I don't remember his name, but Herb Street came in and introduced himself very nicely. And the guy said, you don't remember me? And Brian Dorfman was also in the green room. Dorff? And Frankie.

Are you signaling for help? What are you doing? And for people who don't know, Brian Dorpman is one of the greatest, one of the few people in this business that books people. I don't even know if he books anybody anymore. He just hangs around for basically Dorffman Street cred. But he's one of the most awesome people.

always been super positive, good guy, helpful with critiques, small critiques and stuff as you're coming up. Worst brother in the world. Andrew Dorfman, the other side of it. Don't trust a single thing he says. If he's promising you something, just know the opposite is going to happen. And so when, if you ever want to be angry at

Brian Dorffman, just call him Andrew. Yeah. That's what you do. That'll get him. So I'm sorry, once again, I'm cut everybody off on I'm leading the show and it's not mine. Please do. No, he'll give you advice and he gave this comic some advice.

He's like, look, don't ever go up to some celebrity and say, you don't remember me. These guys meet a million people. Right. Yeah. He puts them on the spot, you know. Exactly what you did the Frank at the beginning of. That's what I was getting at. I'm not that big a celebrity.

Hey, A and B list are fine. You can't do that to A B. As soon as you get to C, D, I'm somewhere between D and F. It's fine. You don't remember me? You know, I work with a lot. You know Brian Dorfman? Yeah. I mean, I would, and I'm just, I say flat out. I'm so, you know, no, but usually I remember

somebody's kind of their point of view. Usually like if I see somebody that's they, it's the, he didn't have one of those yet. No, no. I just mean, I mean, not even is a comic. I just mean how the person presents themselves and stuff like that. Like, you're just there. Like, I mean, there's, there's no, there's no missy you. You are, like, you're basically. gravity. So everything's coming. That's what we say to him every podcast.

A lot of gravity. Yeah. It's so it's just, he attracts gravity. Yeah. It feels like these got, everyone just in my orbit here. That's when they realized.

Him and the earth. Always in a struggle. That was the black hole. See I work at Morgan Freeman in? Gravity pulling you into the other side. Will you be spaghettified? What will happen? No, but there's, I mean, there just is.

So like you, I just, there was something about you that I knew. and I couldn't put my finger on it. Yeah. Because I meet so many people because I'm such a high level celebrity. But there is that. So next. I think I've got to run any ads.

Put it in there. That's a perfect time. That is good. I think I first learned about you when you did the White House Correspondence dinner. Okay. That was, it was a congressional correspondence dinner. Let's start getting things right and then you'll be more memorable.

Brian's our fact checker. he's doing a terrible job there's so many fact checkers out there I do quiet Trump by the way there's so many fact checkers and we're fact checking in the library we're doing a great job you get your library card

from mandami mandami mandami mandami mandami I got a I do a ventriloquist act and I had a puppet his name's mandami

what do you know like they could tell Trump you're not a good ventriloquist I'm a fantastic ventriloquist just so look at my lips Look at the puppet Look at the puppet If you see the puppets

Do it all the talk Where were we Next ad Run the next ad You're gonna need a lot of ads You know I I don't remember either do you No we were talking about

I incorrectly said the White House course Oh okay sorry yeah Yeah I don't care I was actually it was up So I wanted to do the White House course It's too like now not to care After you've been humiliated me You can't humiliate me

And I don't care Can he be cut from the show Yeah, we've been trying for years. Yeah, they keep working me out. You used to be the middle guy? Yeah, no, look at me. You're the only guy who can defy gravity? I'm not even in the camera shot.

They just see my bill. No, I apologize if I didn't, was too much of a jerk early. I should have waited to be a jerk halfway through the show. I do have a problem with that. It means I think you're great is what I... Yeah. So I wanted to do the White House court. I didn't know the difference between me, though.

I'm not a political person. I do impressions of people in politics. I don't really talk. about politics because I'm like, if you're listening to me for politics, you've got issues. I don't live every day regular life that somebody else lives. So, but they were fighting over me between the congressional correspondence dinner and then the presidential correspondence dinner. Now, they eventually got Stephen Colbert and Steve Bridges, the guy who did the full-on

makeup of George W. Bush. And it was right after Cheney had shot the guy in the woods or whatever, you know, A hunting accident. The hunting accident. Yeah. Big time air quotes on that. So they wanted him. I got a call from somebody and they're like,

Bush is supposed to be at this one, but George Bush is not going to be there because they want Cheney to be seen as fun and jovial and laughing. And if the president is there, nobody cares about the vice president. Yeah. So Bush was supposed to be there, which would have been way better for me doing that correspondence dinner.

But Cheney was. was there. And I got him laughing. I mean, it was, it was pretty good. And, uh, you know, it's one of those things where I, I'm not a big political person, but it was amazing to see all of the different, uh, people who are on TV from CNN and headline news and all the reporters. And then all the Congress people, because that's for Congress. And then you just, I, I mean, honestly, when I met some of the people in Congress, I was like, you go, I don't know what side. Who would you? Who would have to hang with Dick Cheney for him to look fun. Me?

No, but you make him laugh and it makes him seem like he has a sense of humor. Yeah. When I met up, they had me go through the metal detectors and stuff like that. And they're like, this is Frank, Caliando. He's going to be doing the comedy tonight. And I'm like, do you know anything about what I do? I have been given some information. Good or bad?

He's kind of trailed off. I don't worry. But it was, you know, politics, it's so weird to be anywhere inside of some of that stuff. Everything you see is so manufactured that you get there and you're like, oh, this is gross. There are, did you make a choice to kind of move more into the sports world or is that just naturally what you're interested in? I'm real lazy. And I grew up around sports. So growing up around sports, I was a catcher in baseball.

and I would talk to the batters and I'd mess with the umpire and stuff like that. Might do impressions of the batter or the umpire or something like that just to mess with them. But I wasn't doing a ton of the voices and things like that. But I would just make, you know, jerky remarks and stuff like that, trying not to get kicked out of the game. But I grew up around sports. So I just knew more sports and went that way. Your dad played professional baseball, right?

Uh, fantastic fact check. Yeah, he played in the MyL leagues for, uh, the White Sox. The White Sox, yeah, the Sarasota Sun Sox. Can you guys get something? Listen, hey. I'm trying to be in the moment. Brian is doing a great job. I don't want to just, I don't want to just gook.

This is helpful. I thought it was Brian. And then I was like, is it the Brian or not? I'm like, Brian gave me a cheat sheet. And always that says, I worked with you. You did a fantastic job. Oh, you had lots of celebrities. Oh, I should have been.

fact-checking the note card. So the ad put in an ad. Sports. I go up on a little I'm like Trump with the weave, but I just don't, I'm not able to come back to it. Somehow I'm able to I come back to it. I'm more Biden. Folks, come on. What are we doing?

Once you're going to go up to scrap Pennsylvania. You know a deal. I'm not joking around. Six or eight years fall of Roman Empire. What are we doing? Come on. Come on. What a great podcast you guys have. One of my favorites is Brian Breakfast. Brian Breakfast, Bush.

That's unbelievable. So sports, I grew up around sports. It's just what I knew. Yeah. You already knew all the personalities and everything. Yeah, a lot to that. And it's easy. Sports are easy because an analyst in a, in a,

sporting event is already describing what's going on. So just take the analyst and go from what's in the event. Now take it out and put in everyday situations. It's what every other comic really does is like let's break. And not every, but a lot of comics is you break something down and say, and here parallel it. What are you stuck on? He can't get over the Biden. This is all so funny.

I don't even know how I'm on here. I'm just enjoying this. they said he'd be back he's back hallelujah Jesus is here something's wrong with his eyes that would have been

Biden on Rogan right? Oh my God Jamie pull it up that's nuts man Oh my God Is he a puppet? Oh my God, what is he doing?

It's nuts. That's crazy. So sports, the analysts talk about stuff and you bring it out. So if Madden was the first big thing, I could just take a John Madden impression and now he's making breakfast. You know, you got so many things you can have for breakfast. I mean, right? And that's where the character comes in. You fill the silences with some type of sound to create the character more.

And that mad was her. I mean, that's just making toast. And you want to make toast, you got to get bread. If you don't have bread, you're making, you can toast something, but it can't be toast unless it's bread. I mean, it could be toasted. I mean, that's what never made sense to me, Pat. Keep going, John. Okay.

When it's toast, you know, there's only one thing that's actually called toast, but a lot of things can be toasted. And you can, I mean, you can also have a toast. Do you ever have toast? Do you ever do that? Where you toast somebody? And then, I mean, there you go. Boom. But you can describe something that's normal every day.

So much fun. And then turn it into nothing, apparently. You're the best at it. Well, I'm, I cling to be the best impressionist. I don't know if you know that or not. No, I didn't. I mean, that's true, right? I'm the best.

You do impressions a lot on. I don't even think you should attempt any. No, this is going to be fun. What are you talking about? Well, you know, I don't, you know, I don't want you to embarrass our guest here by your How about being so good? Yeah. Being so good.

I got a feeling like I'm going to be okay. Yeah. Job security. No, I, you know, I, you know what I, I do love people who do. There are some, there's some young people too coming up that do like, when somebody does an offbeat weird impression that you've never seen anybody else do, that's the stuff that gets me. If you're doing a Christopher walk, and I don't care if it's the best Christopher walking outside

of Kevin Pollock or Jay Moore, I don't, I don't care. It's been done. They're doing commercials with everyday people doing it. So you can throw that in, but that's just filler. That's just a that's just a standard stand-up comic doing it. I got pulled over the other day bit. That's all that is to round something out. But if you're doing an impression of it,

and I'm trying to think of somebody I've probably never seen done well, name some. Okay, so I'll pick one that is done. Ross Marquan does Brad Pitt. And I'm like, that that's just unbelievable that you're doing that. It's an incredible one-off impression. And he does tons of great impressions. He's one of the best things.

I'm having trouble even thinking like what a Brad Pitt impression would be. And that's what makes it great. That's why when you watch him, you go, he figured it out. Yeah. Because he unlocked it. And so what will happen is somebody unlocks it. And then everybody starts doing it. And then they steal it.

That's the only thing in stand-up that you're allowed to steal is somebody else. Dana Carvey is the most stolen from person ever. How many people growing up did you hear? And this was probably, you guys are some of you are young, but that, that Nat Ganadat, you know, that George H.W. Bush. He didn't really say that. Dana Carvey said that. Yeah. And that's a, I did a, I did a, I did a, this is parallel for me.

I was never as famous as Dana Carvey, especially in his heyday. But I went to, I was in Orlando, Florida. And a guy went up before me. and he did a Madden impression, a John Madden impression. And it sounded like Harry Carey, but he thought he was doing John Madden. But he was doing my act. He's like, here's a guy when he puts his contacts that he could see better. And then I go off there after him and I'm like, that's, that guy just did my act.

Yeah, yeah. I don't even know what to do now. Who books that show? Books a guy doing impressions for a guy that does impression. He go, we're going to have his opener is going to be a guy doing an impression of Frank's impressions. to open the show. The Joe Rogan impression that you just did. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Yeah. Gary, Gary Menti is that. No, Gary. Gary. Gary is.

Mentier? No, I can't remember his name. But he kind of, he looked like me if you if like I had put a bicycle pump in my mouth. He pumped up my head even more. And did he know you're on the show? So it was like an open mic night and they asked me to headline it. And then he thought that was a Daryl Hammond bit that he was stealing to do in front of me to impress me. The guy was it was Florida. So it's basically

Florida man doing all that kind of stuff. Gary Manky. Is that? Oh yeah, yeah. Sure. Gary Manky. They say, hey, big guy, what's going on? What's going on? Yeah, I might have underpaid you. Yeah, you didn't pay me at all. Yeah, I mean, I just made everything. So the Joe Rogan, sorry.

Well, Joe Rogan, it feels like it's just the voice. It just, I can never understand impressions because I don't even know how you would go about. Okay, I'm going to do. This is a thing I do all the time. And see, see how you can see he's like my brother. Or he could be on the office. Yeah. He's the one in the left. That's a tough photo. No, that's actually good for him. That's pretty good. It's his profile photo. I would call him and I knew he only had so much power. A very funny guy. Yeah. But he would be, he would triple book stuff.

Like he'd be driving me to press and he'd be taking phone calls. Yeah, got you down. Got you down. Got you down. Got you down. I'll remember it. And then he'd like, like features would, would fly in for 400 bucks for the weekend and be double booked and not get.

I mean, it's just, come on. So Rogan's in a list of different impressions or voices. I use these, I use these voices to get there. I've done this on the internet, a bunch of do it all the time. So you can just cut it if you don't like it. But it's Kermit the Frog, which is a manufactured voice.

It's not the person. It's not Jim Henson's actual voice. And Frank Oz does the Fazi Bear. So those are two like cartoons are different than regular people. Because if you see some, like let's say you see somebody doing a when they say, hey, I'm doing a Tom Hanks impression. They go laugh is like a box, a chocolate. No, you're doing force gum. You're not doing Tom Hanks.

So Kermit the Frog, these are the two voices. use. Kermit the frog and Fuzzy Bear. Kermit the frog is, hi-ho, Kermit D. Frog here. Then Fuzzy Bear is, ah, waka, waka, Waka. They're also Burt and Ernie. So, you take that voice, Kermit the Frog, which is nasal. Hi-ho, Kermit Frogh. You can break it down a little bit, becomes

John C. Riley. Did you touch my drum set? Then if you add some air and some all shucks genius, it becomes Mark Ruffalo. I see this as an absolute and I had no idea that I was even going to be here. That's really, really weird. say green

now bring it down even more it becomes Paul Giamatti I believe that's one of the craziest things I have ever heard in my entire life and you cannot tell me I'm incorrect and then tighten it up again it's Seth Rogan which is actually the Bert laugh

after a lot of smoking doobies I guess I don't know and then if you bring it down it's Joe Rogan oh my God Jamie pull that off That's crazy. Now, if you add a little bit of a goose get stuck in your throat, and add a little Texas, it's Patrick Mahomes.

I mean, that's kind of thing. And he said, Patrick Mahomes sounds like a little kid that's out playing in the woods with another little kid. That little kid gets hurt, and Patrick is the one that has to come back and tell the adults about it. What happened, Patrick? Travis and I, we were just out, and we were trying to jump across the creek, And he slipped on a rock and he hurt his knee and he's going to need a band-aid, some backteen, and a tourniquet.

And I know the ambulance, she said, if we ever need an ambulance, it would cost money. So Taylor's going to write a song about it and we'll be okay. But all those voices, it's just the, it's just like where do you tighten up in your throat and where do you add the air? So Robert Downey Jr., it's interesting because Robert Downey Jr. is you can make him Donald Trump just by adding a little layer. You can do that. And then you can become Dr. Evil.

Throw me a freaking bone here, please. Throw me a freaking bone here, please. And if you have the air, you can go way back to Cadillac, a spolting. I watch you with the golf course at five minutes, chop, chop, quite frankly, there'll be no gambling at Bushwood.

It's easy to grin when your ship comes in. It's amazing. When you explain it, when you explain it, it all sounds so easy, right? Just add a little air, just tighten up your throat. Bring it up, bring it down. Right, it takes a lot. I mean, it's a lot of effort. It's not just that easy.

I've broken down Morgan Freeman online too. If you can get us, people like, I could never do a Morgan Freeman. They're saying that for themselves. I'm like, you could get close. You can get close enough that you could pay it off or sell it. And that's just you've got to learn to talk quietly. So if you want to do a Morgan Freeman, he's going to have a deep voice that's going to be in, in your gut. right so you have to get into a voice down here you have to bring it down quieter and

quieter quieter now so if you're just in that range and you say ah yes ah yes ah yes you say that for two years uh yes ah now you start to find it in the throat and it's ah ah yes this is this is about six months worth of work right here now you start to play with a little bit ah yes now you bring it to a longer phrase truth of the matter is And then that's that, and that's how you're going. Truth of the matter is I had no idea. I even was able to do such a thing. So there's ways, everything's just saying things over and over and over.

But also, you're, I've noticed, always thought this about you. It's, you're saying funny things and doing funny stand-up. It's not just enough to have the voice, right? I've opened for guys who can do voices. And there's plenty of people that don't do anything with. And there's a lot of people that are way better voice people than me. There are people that do these incredible spot-on impressions, and you're going, well, what's the bit? Where does this go?

And there's a problem with a dead-on impression. You just kind of get stuck. You have to turn it into a character. Yeah, yeah. So for sports people, John Gruden has become a big one for me. And I always have everything turn into a little bit of me. That's Scroon. I love a little spider two, why, banana?

You guys know anything about sports? What about you, Brian? Breakfast, Brian. Hello. You're bringing a sausage, aren't you, man? we're talking about patties we're not talking about links here man we're talking about bringing a whole thing you're gonna cut it up into some type of amla what's a sausage omel there's some Denver omel that has ham in it doesn't i don't know just do the whole show like this seems to be the best part of the show right now

well so gruden gruden is just he's all-time great hard doc segment by the way was you performing you said you said that guy's got a lot of neck yeah i watch that clip maybe once a week Yeah, it's just so much fun. I went in there. So hard knocks. I don't know how much your, your, your, your, your, your, your, demo or your fans are sports people. Hard knocks, they run before every season.

Now they run in the season because they could make more money. But they, the, um, before the season, they pick a team that they think is going to be really interesting. And they just go and do behind the scene stuff the entire time. Well, John Gruden invited me. to go do it because he knew this would make it interesting and break down a little bit. So we he had me come in and I'd done it before and I had I entered right into the spot where I was going to be standing on stage. I was completely discombobulated when I got there the second time

for the hard knocks episode. I had to walk through the entire team and I had no idea. I just went to the stage and I couldn't. I was overwhelmed. My senses were like spite my spite sense was getting like I was transforming into a more powerful spider superhero not to have any spoilers. In fact, I don't even use the word spoiler. Nobody would have known with that description. So I go in there. I'm just discombobody. I start doing the thing.

I'm supposed to, I want to sing a song because they all sing stuff when they're, you know, rookies and that type of thing. I just stood there and I couldn't get words out. I'd never been so nervous. I don't like singing, especially in public like that, something I'd never sung before.

I kind of get stuck. I don't know where Gruden is. I don't even know where he is. He's just right over to my left. But I start rolling and the way they cut it together was fantastic. But they won that game then. So they won that game and they won the other game that I talked to the team. I have two game balls.

Oh, that's awesome. I have two NFL game balls. They're alignment in the league who've been in that, and plenty of players that have been in the league for 10, 12 years, getting beaten up, whatever, making the trenches every day. Yeah. They don't have a game ball. have two of them. That's so cool. That's great. You read the LeBron James letter when he went back

to Cleveland. Is that right? As Morgan Freeman? Yeah. I did that with Mike and Mike back in the day. And I didn't even practice it. I was like, this would be good. I text them the night before and I'm like, I got an idea. And I thought it was dying. It went crazy on the internet that Fallon even showed it. He had Morgan Freeman on that. And I was like, Oh my gosh. Do you like it when people do impressions of you? Do you like that kind of thing? No. Morgan Freeman straight to Cameron. I do not enjoy such a thing. Oh my gosh. It's so great. So thank you for being. So, but the, I thought it was dying. I thought it was tanking because the guys, I'm just reading it and I hadn't run through it to practice it at all. Yeah. So I'm just reading it and I'm kind of slightly stumbling over some things here and then I'm going slowly to make sure I get every word. I'm like, as I'm reading it,

it, I'm like, I should have run through this a little bit. This is stupid to be doing this live on the air, but who's going to see? It's mostly radio people. I'm stupid enough to think that it's the, I don't understand the internet's power at that point. And it took off. It just went crazy. But part of it is, it's not really so much me reading it. It's the two guys, Mike Golick and Mike Greenberg behind me, cracking up. Right. It's the whole, it's a gestalt theory, is the individual parts, the hole is greater than the individual. I've never heard that term, but yeah. Yeah, look it up.

It's a pretty big one. Breakfast Brian over here might serve that one up from buttermilk ranch. By the way, that's where I ate this morning. It's like we ate there yesterday afternoon and then we ate there this morning. I mean, Southern food is so good, but if you're not used to it and you just, and you can't stop. Yeah. Yeah, I'm halfway through it doing the Pacino impression. I'm just getting warmed up.

It's so much. It is. You're like, you're like, I'm so full right now. But this tastes so. But it's so good. Let's have, you know, let's do another biscuit. Let's put a little syrup on it. I got to sop out the rest of that gravy.

That's exactly what I was doing. I was putting syrup in the gravy. Then they had some other mystery sauce. I was pouring that in, softening it up. And then like, this bacon's too hard. I'll eat it first. Have you ever done? I've done an impression of someone and been a little nervous to do it in front of them because they may not take it well?

Well, a lot of sports people, there's one guy who doesn't like me at all. Jim Rome, you guys know who that is incredible, phenomenal. How great is that? Do you try the arugula? By the way, are we allowed to eat lettuce now? So many people were talking about if you eat lettuce, you get these super diarrhea. I pause for a second to make sure I could say it. It's not a bad word.

Is he correct word? You said a word that rhymed with bit. Maybe that wouldn't work on this podcast. But he's talking about literal super diarrhea. So he wouldn't even look at me. Madden didn't like me for years. I talk about it in my act. I made his grandkids laugh.

I was like, I get it now. Gruden took it, Gruden and Gruden got it 100%. And he's even like, we hang out. I'll go see him sometimes and we'll do things together. Shot some content together. You want to shoot some content, Frank? Jordan seems like he's down to roll. Oh, yeah.

People did not know what a hammy is. He's very funny. He's very, he's into rock. I went to Aerosmith with him in Vegas. Wow. And there's no, dude looks like a lady. Manette. Manette.

I mean, that was, that was surreal. I mean, even when his coach and then the stuff went down where, He was out for a little bit. The whole thing is he's just a ball buster. I mean, that's what he does. He just, he, I walk in, he's like, you're going to cover up that chest here, man? You've been eating the crust on all your bread. That's what my parents used to say.

You eat the crust on that bread. You're going to have a lot of chest here. I guess you're a crust eater, aren't you? Now, Dusty used to listen a lot to Colin Cowherd. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's true. Yeah. Love Colin Cowherd.

Now, I never, I don't have a colleague Howard if you're hoping that I had one. I don't. I think Brian was hoping that. Yeah, I don't. I don't. Like a guy, you know, a guy. I saw you do one on, on, on, on, no, no, no, no, no, that wasn't me. Okay. No, no, there's, uh, what's his name does it? Um, I can't believe I can't think of it. Joey Mullinero does. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Joey Mullinero does. And that's why I don't even try. I kind, I might have done like a little thing. I used to do, uh, something with the herd. Yeah. Because there was just, I don't remember why everybody.

used to do. He would just yell. A friend of mine, Scott Long was the one who kind of made the observation. We were talking about it. And he'll, this is the hurt. Like, he'd do that. I've done it in such a long time. But when somebody else does one and I see it and I'm like, well, that's kind of yours. I stay away. That's the thing that almost nobody else does, though. Other people say, go, oh, you're doing, I'm going to do that too. And that's the thing that drives me nuts is you work all that time to figure it out, and then somebody starts doing the same bit. But that's why I stay. started doing those breakdowns of how to do different voice because I'm like, they're already stealing them.

So I might as well get these out here. Like at least let it be good. Let me show you how to do it. Not even that. It's because you can tell when somebody's copying your impression. If somebody does a madden and it's like, and they're doing that, they're just blatantly taking it my thing because that's not actually what Madden

does. I took that and made that a character. I see people doing, I'll tell you what, man. It's John Gruden all over TikTok. Yes. Well, he says that once in a while. I say it because that's what gets me. That's the Reve. I remember the Jim Rome was you dialed in on the four-syllable words.

I remember that. Incredible. Phonomenal. Oh, Ruggula. Great job by you. Better job by me. What is up with Weber? Dude should do a bunch of commercials for grills.

And I'm not talking about Weber grills. talking about those great teeth you have that kind of grill what is up with Weber's grill totally different than Weber Grills which are great as well we actually try to recover from

cowhurt so our podcast is the public figures pocket we call ourselves public figures what was Stephen A. Smith I understand what you're coming from with this incongeniality everything going henceforth I just find big words that I personally I went to school through

I graduated from college, but I stopped learning somewhere around eighth grade when I understood how easy it was to cheat. So I, yeah, those Stephen A. Smith, my bit with him generally is, because I can't think, I have to, I think plan a little bit of Stephen A. Smith out because his vocabulary is so much better than mine. But he will throw out words that I think are, like, I'm not sure if it's the right word or not. And nobody else says anything, so I'm the idiot, right? So he'll be like, I complete the utterly and quadrilaterally deny everything. That was just quadrilaterally. How does geometry factor into this? What's that going? I've even seen that that's one of the key words on his Wikipedia page, the people that have put that he puts that.

He says that. I made that up. That's blasphorous. That's blasterous. That's blasphorous. That's blasphorposterous. Yeah. So, I mean, Stephen A, he's...

Are you hoping he runs for president? Yes, kind of. Yeah. I kind of like him, actually. I mean, he's interesting. He's kind of a middle-road guy. People are like one side of the other. I'm like, hey, he's, he's, I don't think he'll ever get nominated because he'll be, he's not too, he's not far enough to one side.

Yeah, yeah. But he actually makes a lot of sense a lot of times. I like, I go, and maybe he could make some other people. But he's, I, I, yeah. Undeniably entertaining. Undeniably. He is the best. He is the most entertaining guy.

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I always... Well, Skip, there's no way Skip believed anything he was saying. No, yeah. There's no thing, no way. You have got to do them. Do you always heard that broadcasters were...

They come from the Midwest were the best because they don't have a southern accent. They don't have a northern accent. They kind of middle of America. You think impersonations, it's easier from the Midwest? That I'm from the Midwest? Yeah, or do you find that a lot of guys

who do impersonations are the Midwest? Well, I think there are quite a few. I mean, the young guy's Matt Friend, who does a ton. He's really, really good. Yeah. There's, he's from Chicago, which I was born in Chicago. Yeah. Then there's, I can't think of his name out of Omaha.

He's on. America's got talent right now. He's really, really good. but I think yeah I think when people have an accent it's easier to do the impression is easier to do

when somebody doesn't have an accent I mean the subject of the impression so for example Charles Barkley has like lots of little things that he grew up in the south and then he lived in Philadelphia he's been to he lived in Phoenix

so he's all and even as a place in Atlanta so he's got an amount of different accents going on in there. And he's just doing right of saying, those big old women in San Antonio, man. Come on, Shaq. And he's basically Shaq's interpreter,

but he's the Rosetta Stone for Shaq. Because Shaq will say something. Nobody knows. Even the closed caption people are just putting up question marks. Everybody's going to be pretty good. Everybody's in there. I don't know. I don't know.

What do we do? And Charles will figure it. He's like, well, I have to agree with the first half of what you said, man, that the spacing is not really good. but we've got to figure out what's going on with the dribbling.

It's really, really bad. Back to you, Ernie. First of all, Ernie. That's Barclay. First of all, Ernie, he'll do seven or eight first of all. He's in the same argument. First of all, Ernie. First of all, you already did first of all.

Okay, second first of all. Third first of all, X plus one, first of all, man. Does that make it feel better? I'm not telling you what it said on that one, man. Bernie Johnson, no, I have no idea there. Let's run it out. That's incredible.

Do you think that older actors were easier to do impressions of? I've often wondered this, because I think today's actors, who is there to do impressions of? They're like... Well, you get their character a little bit more than the person a lot of times. Now, I'm going to backtrack on that a little bit. you can reverse engineer it to get the person. But for example, Robin Williams, I did the, I did the serious Robin Williams for the longest time. You know, this one way of you.

What an amazing show you guys have, public figures. We've almost done nothing so far. Frank's just blabbered the whole time. It's really great, you know, really enjoy what you're doing. Growing a beard winning an Academy Award right now, you know. Weber has the grill. Seems good. So, yes, I'll sit on a bench with.

you know. Yeah. All right as it goes, come on. So it's the two of us. You and I. So, yes, Jimmy Stewart used to, his normal speaking voice was just like a, it seemed like a character, but they were bigger and they were always putting on that show. That's my theory is that's why there were so few feet.

And as actors get older, they almost become parodies of themselves. Like De Niro is playing Robert De Niro and everything. Yeah. And from analyze this on, he's, you know, he's talked on his head to the side of the side. And now I'm doing comedy. If you don't laugh, I'm going to kill you. I'm going to kill you. I'm very, I'm so serious.

He's so serious that it's funny kind of a thing. Don't try to get De Niro to be funny. Just make him serious. Like, Will Ferrell's the best at doing that, even though he's a, you know, he's incredibly funny when he's not. But Will Ferrell will play something so serious that you're going, is he joking or not? Yeah. And you start out going, uh, okay. And then it's like, oh, this is pretty funny.

And then you're like, oh, this is weird. And they're like, this is hilarious. Brian Regan's that way, too. Brian Regan could say something and you're like, you start on, going to go left side of the stage now. Going to left side of the stage. Going to left. Okay.

I'm on left side of the stage. I'm on the left side of the stage. I'm a repeater. I can repeat things. I'm repeating. I'm repeating. Why is it stop being funny than become hilarious? Sorry, yeah, I can't believe.

He's got that side voice. I can't believe I just pulled that off. on Krypton the big red one was the sun Superman got his powers from the sun robots put them back together so women I thought that's why women there weren't a lot of females to do impressions of years ago

because they never let women get older in Hollywood they just kind of throw them out that's why every female impression was a Catherine Hepburn or somebody in their 80s or 90s now I think there are younger people nowadays to do because there's they're they're they're acting you could find certain voices and that hit but again like uh I'm trying to think of Robert did I do the Robert Danny Jr. for you guys before yeah yeah kind of thing where it's just stuttering my

way through stuff or Chris Evans I've met Chris Evans so funny because uh Josh Brolin used me in the movie W to do the George W. Bush, part of the, and when I met Josh Brolin, he's like, I was doing you that whole movie. It's like me doing you. But I went to go meet him and my wife, my wife and daughter, we went to this Comic-Con, because my daughter turned 13, and they're like,

Josh Brolin is, you call the agency, and they're like, Josh Brolin, you can see you, but unfortunately, Chris Evans is with him, and I'm like, we'll deal with it. And Chris Evans was like, he figured out who he was really. He's like, dude, dude, that is awesome, man. Calli Ender, do, do John Madden, do John Madden, he's just going through. So cool. So, but he's got that little bit of Boston accent.

One like I've been working on that's like halfway there in and out, it's Billy Bob Thornton. Because people think he sounds, he talks slow because he's from the South. Yeah. He doesn't. He talks quickly. And I heard him doing this interview. He goes, my kid's like I sound like Hank Hill. So he's talking like this the whole time.

It does that kind of thing. land man. Don't be a jackass. Okay. What are we doing here? You stop, you stop moving a lips as well. Stop doing that. Then he'll like say something like from with a foreign language and then break it, bring it down to rip you a little bit. Arriva durchy jackass. What's that all about? I don't understand. So there's there's there's those and like when I can get going. But you need a a rev up kind of thing. The goblin's like, oh yes, of course, of course, of course. Why, why? Why? That's my favorite. favorite letter. Yes, it is. Why is my favorite letter. Why? Not because it's also a word, but because it's a consonant and a vowel. It's both. Ooh, it's transitioning. Yes,

it is from consonant to vowel. A.E. I. OU.N. what? What are you doing? So there, there, it's those types of things. Were you found a Rich Little when you were here? Yeah, but he was so vaudevillian. I always watched Rich Little and go, what do you do in next with that. They would do like the old school Impressions would do an impression for like 20 minutes and just I liked Robin Williams and Jonathan Winters where they'd weave the characters in and out. Yeah. And that's why I think

impressions died off for such a long time because it was it didn't evolve. It didn't become like observational comedy or storytelling. It was just hey I'm going to be this person and do lines from their movie and it's not particularly funny. It's just triggering a nostalgic memory. Yeah. And then you're kind of like, oh, that person's amazing because they can sound like.

And every comic was doing Jack Nicholson and Christopher Walken for 20 years. Well, Nicholson is the new, is the newer Jack, or I'm sorry, Walking is the newer Jack Nicholson. Yeah. It's just that everybody's doing it. People got caught in that. And you remember the story, you ever hear the story, I should say, where there was a guy doing a Jack Nicholson impression. He's like, here's Johnny or something. He's like, what do you do? You know that? And the guy's like, another community is like, why you hold in your head? like, well, doesn't he do that? No, he just watched somebody else pulling their hair back to get the widow's peak. So that's when you know, again, somebody's borrowing.

Yeah, I feel like almost every impression as I see, there are such old character, like Arnold Schwarzenegger or. Yeah, and it's probably, it might be part of your algorithm too that that's what's coming up. There are plenty of new people. No, really. No, because you've seen, if you've watched it, I don't mean that in a mean way. You know? No, no, no, I'll blatantly tell you when I'm being a jerk. No, it's because of the algorithm, if you watch something or watch an impression and you, you watch it a little bit longer, then they're going to throw those same ages around. Yeah, Jay Farrow does a lot of newer people too. Yeah. Yeah. Jay's got, and those young guys, the up and coming guys, I'm trying to think, uh, uh, a Godfrey is really good.

Harry Spears. Yeah, we got some really, uh, Harry Spears is great. So, I mean, there's plenty of people that do, and I'm missing a bunch of people. There's some, Joe Goddette. There's lots of people that are exceptional. Some of them have the material and some of them don't. And it's just hard to figure out how to work that stuff in and make it work because you just end up going, I think it would go something like this and then you do the cheesy impression. Yeah, yeah.

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I almost want to do a special. I thought about that where I just do it all cheesy on purpose. Like I hate doing this stuff, but here we go. And it's always like finding people when somebody's topical. Tony Romo became top of because of getting pulled the road. Jim, I should have gotten a self-drive Tesla. Here we go, Jim. So, again, that's the sports there in that stuff a lot.

There you go. To me, you're like a magician because, one, I don't know how you do it. And secondly, it's the humor that takes you to a whole other level. Okay, so I actually describe, I explain that. I'm more of a magician than a wizard. and why do I say that? Because I'll let people throw out impressions if I've gotten through my act

and at the end of the last 10 minutes be like throw something out. Now if you've never heard me do it, I probably can't. But here's what I'm going to explain to you. I'm more of a magician than a wizard. And what does that mean? A magician practices a trick over and over and over until they can perform the illusion

in front of an audience and pull it off. A wizard does not exist. So what does that mean? If I had somebody I can do it, somebody I've practiced over and over and over. And if it's, Like I said, if you've never heard me do it, I can't just pull it out of thin air

and do something that's going to be, like you're just going to kind of stare as an audience at that point. You just did Dusty. Yeah, but I mean, I did it kind. It was good because it was here. To be fair, people have done my voice. I had a buddy that did my voice just when we were drinking

and it fooled another girl over the phone. Yeah. Yeah, so. Yeah, thanks a lot. Spend hours. Before the show. Yeah, I mean, especially when you're around somebody a lot. If you're if you're friends with it, it makes it easier if you're around somebody.

Because when you see somebody, like it's interesting, I've seen of, of you guys, and I mean, I'm not trying to hurt anybody's feelings that much. But of the three of you, the person I've probably seen the most of is Dusty. In person, Dusty looks, you look different in person. There's just something, you look older in a lot of pictures. People do say that to me. You And that feels good. Yeah, when I see you here, I'm like, you're young Dusty in the movie, you know, the Dusty Slay movie. Yeah, you know, they're always going to put makeup on me and slaying.

Just slaying across the country is the movie or slaying in the world. He's trying to get that movie made. I like slaying across the country. Slaying the country. When you did improv back of the day, you said you could only do two voices. What were they? Well, you know, I could do like, you know, my voice and I could do like, you know, How did that as one?

Pretty much that's everybody who's not a mute. Exactly. But I also could do like a Savannah, Georgia kind of gay accent, you know, but I don't know that I... Let's hear it. Well, I can't, you know, it's like there is that East Tennessee kind of Savannah, Georgia, where it's like, you know, the accent could go either way, you know, and I can't... It could go Tennessee or gay, is like? Yeah, exactly.

East Tennessee, West North Carolina, Savannah, Georgia area. I got two gears. But I, you know, it's like the old man and family guy who's always trying to get with Chris or whatever. And, but I can't. I don't know. I don't know that I could do it now. But I, uh, not with Frank Calliando. But that's also not going to do anything.

That's also a thing. If you haven't practiced something for a while, it's hard to just pull it out out of nowhere. Yeah. Those, I get that. Somebody will throw out an impression that I haven't done for 20 years. Like maybe like Herman Edwards or somebody like that way. I bet you haven't done Herm in a while. Yeah, but my harm was never that great.

Because he was always talking about Tim Tebow. Talk about football. Talk about football. Tim Tebow's good football player. Can't play quarterback. No, no, no, no. Can't play quarterback. But I just had that specific bit, too.

That's kind of muscle memory. But for the most part, I'm trying to think of somebody. People will bring up impressions that I haven't done for a long time. And I'm like, okay, I'll try that. But if I do it for five minutes, it'll start to get better. But that's the magic. It's not muscle memory. Go back.

and work on that. Yeah, it's totally. It's totally Muslim. Well, even just a joke that you used to tell all the time and you ramped up to put it on a special. Yeah. And you record it. And then you stop doing it for a couple of months. And then someone might yell it out at a show. And then I go, oh, I have no idea how that joke goes now. Yeah. I don't know how to start it. Or how to get into it or anything. Or sometimes you even get into it. And you go, well, that's the next part. Yeah. And then you'll change it. And it doesn't do as well. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I might practice that. All right, so we've been doing the states. Yeah. And we're 30-something states. We've never done Wisconsin. I don't remember any of that so far. So, uh...

Oh, not on the show. Hey, I don't tell you. I don't respect at all, you know. Come on, give it up for Bronx. Let's talk a little bit of Westcott. Some famous people from Wisconsin. Orson Wells. Really? I didn't know that.

From Kenosha? I didn't know that. Gene Wilder from Milwaukee. Okay, yeah. Who was the second person you said? Was, I thought there was somebody in between Orson, Wells, and Gene Wilder. I said he was from Kenosha. Oh, okay, okay.

Gene Walter. I thought it was Ken O'Sha. Ken O'Sha, how are you? Welcome to me. Welcome to the show. Willem Defoe. He is? From Appleton.

Oh, wow. Chris Farley. Oh, well, of course, that one. We know that one. That's an easy one. Madison, Wisconsin. I went to Marquette for a year. Liberace.

Of course. This doesn't seem like Libera. I from East Tennessee. It does not seem like a... So you were born in Chicago, but grew up in Wisconsin. How'd you get this? Why are you going off on the tangent? We're talking about Wisconsin.

But I'm... It was about Wisconsin. Oh, okay. I'm wondering how much you consider you're a Wisconsinite more than you are in Chicago. I grew up in Wisconsin. I was there most of my life. The Italian family members were all from Chicago, but we can't talk about them anyways. Were you a Packers fan?

Yeah, state law. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We, my, my uncle would always send us bears stuff that he would have those. We had a six foot by four foot bears poster that he sent to us.

This is an 85, you know, when the Bears won the Super Bowl. It's a huge poster. Yeah, it's a massive, it's a massive poster. All the guys had mustachees except for,

well, all the guys had moustaches. And there might have been two that didn't somebody, and then somebody would draw them on. Yeah. But he, his, that poster he brought for,

he got for us and sent us, you know, here's how he got it. He got it by turning in his camel bucks, his books from cigarettes. Yeah, we all look at Dusty. Yeah, I love that. But that's the funny thing is that the NFL having a partnership, not even a partnership.

I don't even know what they did back then, but a cigarette company. Camel cash, I think. Camel cash, that's a camel. Why didn't I do alliteration? I've been saying camel bucks forever. What was the one you grew up on? Marlboro Miles.

Yeah, that's the one most people know. But the camel cash, he turned that in to get some bears posters. So we had those up because I don't know. We generally became Packer fans. Yeah, definitely. It's kind of required. But you have to be there. If you're not, you're cast away.

You're cast off. Was John Madden more of a FAR guy or Aaron Rogers? Yeah, I mean, Brett Far. I mean, actually, you think of all the people. I mean, Aaron Rogers is a great player, but he's no Brett Farron. And, you know, Brett Ferv is the Brett Farr of Brett Farn. I mean, he's Farrv. A fantastic Farr.

I mean, you could have four Brett Farr. That's FIRE for FIRE. I was looking at some of the, let me stick with the Packers here. Dusty, do you know this? I think you'll like this. They were, they are the only professional sports franchise. They're owned by the public.

I did know that, yeah. $538,000 public stockholders. It seems like that would be something right up your alley. I like it. Does it get them anything? I don't know that it really gets them anything. Very little. It's not, they can't like resell it, but they can vote on the board of directors who vote on the leadership.

If the Titans were publicly owned, would you buy a piece of the Titans? What would it get me? Just to be able to say, you own a little piece of the thing? I don't think so. This comes out right before September 2nd, so start a football season. What's great and think about the Titans this year? I'll tell you what. They're going to be a mess, man.

You got to think positive. You're going to have that new stadium next year. That's what it's going to be about. You're planning for a new stadium. I say they're tanking. You get a better team next year for the new stadium. It's going to be pretty good. You know, the Titans are nice to us.

We've done things with them. They've been so nice to us. They're not doing well as a. What would Schaefter say about it? A Grammy source at this particular time, it appears, Brian thinks I am a puppet pressing A7 on the jukebox he found the Adam Schaeffern impression

to predict the future The stadium looks good though I drive by It looks good They could play in there now Yeah It's ready to go now And I thought

I thought well this is stupid We don't need a new stadium And maybe we don't But when you see it next It's a good idea to build it next to the old ones So you realize the whole time. So we can go, oh, this is better.

And now we'll, you know, we'll have a lot of concerts. And the last 10 to 15 years, the difference in the technology that they can put into these stadiums is unbelievable. You go to something new and you look at something that's 15, you know, could be even 10 years old. Just a complete difference in how it's all set up. Totally. The difference in you can order from your seat. Yeah, yeah. anywhere. It's designed to be able to, for convenience to the fan, but also so the stadium and the owners can make more money.

Yeah. If you don't have to go wait in line, you'll get more food. Yeah. I mean, it's just, if it can just be prepared and sent to you. Yeah. Maybe they had catheters that you could just hook up to your seats. That'd be nice, too. Just skip in the middle. Well, I think about that, I'm a Notre Dame guy. That's a tap to catheter. When I was at Notre Dame, no jumbotron, nothing. If you missed a play, you missed it. You had to see it later that day. And then the purest in me would be like, well, this is how it's supposed to be. And then you come back when the jumbotron's there, you're like, oh, this is awesome.

It's so much better. You ever go to like a high school game or something like that and you watch the game and you see a play and you look up and there's no jumbotron? And you're like, I want to see that again. I'm never going to see that again. I don't know what I missed. It just lived and died as a member. That's what the world was like until just recently. Yeah, we went to, three of us went to Nashville Sounds.

They're the AAA baseball team here in Nashville. And they don't show replays on the Jumbotron. They have the Jumbotron. And we kept like, show a replay. They just don't know how to hook it up. That guy has been sick. And they just, they only have one guy. And he is not, he hasn't come in for a while.

This is an H-DMI cable. Yeah. It's, yeah, it's cat five. They only have a cat four. We do sounds, not video. Sounds. I went on my honeymoon to Alaska and we were on. She loved that.

Yeah. It's her idea. Oh, really? Yeah. That's what you think? She knows I hate the beach. But we- So you went the opposite?

It went to the full opposite. That's right. We've always said Hawaii are, yeah. Alaska's sweating. Alaska is fat guys Hawaii. Yeah. So we took the bus like, what? Wait a second.

How? How? I mean, it sounds great when you say it. You get to spread out a little bit, you know. Was this in the summer? You put, you know, you're not taking a shirt off. You're putting a jacket on. It's awesome.

Anyway, so we were taking a bus up. I'm losing. I don't even remember why I brought this up. We got on a bus. We were going through a national park and these bears came up to the bus. And everybody. Like in Hawaii. Yeah.

Yes. They're the sharks of Alaska. Anyway, everybody's got the phone out and they're taking pictures, but there was an Amish couple on the same bus as us. And the guy had binoculars. And he's jockeying just to get a look at it. I thought that was so interesting.

We're all trying to get a picture. And he's just trying to bank a memory. Because he can't take a picture. You can't use a phone. But he's like, I want to get a look at it. So that's all he's got is the memory. That guy's going to have neurolink as soon as Elon puts it out. They won't have a choice.

And then it's on your phone so you can watch the picture of the bear. You can just Google a picture of a bear. And my kids don't understand. They're really young. They don't understand like the internet. They think any picture that I pull up from the internet is just on my phone. Oh. So.

How old are they? 14, 50. They're driving. And how old really? I have five, three, and a four-month-old. Okay. He really doesn't get it. It gets nothing.

Dumbest one of the family wife's part. We think he's going to be all right. That's a funny philosophy that. Why go to Disney World? Let's just look at a picture of it. Yeah. They want to be there. You know?

Right. But in the moment, seeing the bear, you want to be the Amish guy. But even with the benign. My wife would do that. My wife would do the opposite. We go to a flag football game. My kids were playing. son was playing.

I wouldn't just go to random flag football games. We go to the flag football game. But she would be recording everything. And I'm like, but you're not watching the game. Yeah. Yeah. And she'd want me to do a second angle for my son. I'm not doing, no.

You can get it, but she doesn't know what's going on anyways, really. But I wanted to watch the game because I want to be in the moment and live that moment. Yeah. This is more fun. And I think that this for me anyway, like, you know, It's like my parents will have pictures of their parents, but it'll be like one or two. So we're like, oh, they had so few pictures that we're like really trying to make up for it. But now we have so many pictures that we don't even care about the pictures.

My wife literally took 800 pictures yesterday here in Nashville. Literally. My daughter, they get, you know, they'll get all fancied up and they go on the rooftop bar and whatever. Every place they go, they get a new outfit. It's like they're changing in between awards at the Oscar. I mean, there's outfit changes throughout the day, and it's not because of sweater or anything. It's just I want a different look for when we go to Broadway.

I want this look for when we're, you know, wherever. And you're going, all right, I don't get it, but as long as it makes you happy and it keeps you from spending more, we're all right. Yeah, I'm wearing the same thing every day anyway. So it's, you know, so you don't need the change. But women, they do love to switch it up. Yeah.

Women be shopping. You basically have the same. I'm so cheap that I basically bought the same shirt in different colors on Amazon for two months worth of clothes. That's awesome. I got that. I wear the same kind of shorts. The other day, my wife said to me, you look like a bum. And, you know, the shorts have holes in them.

I was like, yeah, but I don't buy. I have no idea who anybody is anymore. The cheat sheet went on the ground. But I, but listen, just. let me buy this crappy stuff for, you know, a $4 pair of shorts, then you can buy more of what you want. Yeah. And I call it, this is a bit I do or have been working on that our living, the entryway is the Amazon self-fulfillment center. Like there's just boxes upon boxes upon.

We went overseas, we went to Italy a couple years ago. We were gone for two weeks. We came back. There literally was a fort built in our house of just boxes. We had somebody watching the house. and they like I've never seen I mean what are you buying yeah I even know it's yeah I do that though when I leave my house I order stuff when I'm on the road I go I want this and I order it and then I forget that I order it and then I just have all these boxes when I get home and I go what is this stuff but now it's

it's like Christmas it is and not only jars and they fit inside of each other and they have you can put you can change the picture on the front of them and you had them all sent overnight for an extra $2.99 for no reason. Of course. Like you send it overnight for the extra money because you're going to be there in the morning but you're taking off the next day. You forget you got it.

You leave already and you just wasted the $2.99. I had my neighbor get my boxes one time and I forgot that I ordered a bed. I go over to his house. It's like so heavy. I'm so sorry that I did this to you. Is it like an old man? Not an old man.

Yeah, but he was a little older and he's not a very big guy. And, yeah, he had a hand truck it over to his eye. This is real. Yeah. Because this is almost Theo Vaughn level. I'm not sure if I believe it or not. I'm sorry I did this to you. Did he do, Voson?

Yeah. I never worked on Theovon because I just feel like it would just be Theo being Theo. But my son had the greatest observation on him and I think it's like fantastic. Like you can't tell if anything's real or not. But every person he describes basically sounds like a pet he had when he was a kid. He's like, you know, we had this kid. We had a kid in our class and he used to poop on a newspaper. No, that you had a pet.

Yeah. He just had a dog. You had a dog. It is like that. If you could just make up random characters. And yeah, we knew a guy at one eye. Yeah, you know. You're just doing a wheel for a leg.

Right. All right, guys. Can you get back to Wisconsin, please? Yeah, yeah, please. It's very important. Let's get into Wisconsin. Some TV shows from Wisconsin. Happy Days.

Yeah. Is it really? Laverna Shirley. Yeah. Bo set Milwaukee. Laverne. What does anybody know what the other happy days had spinoffs? Does anybody know what they were?

There's three major spin-offs. Lauren and Shirley. Mm-hmm. Working Mindy. Oh, that's the one nobody really gets. That's a spinoff from Happy Days? Yeah. Yeah.

Who's the common thread? Shored up at the door. Nano, Nana, yeah. He was a character on happy. He and Fonzie, like went head to head.

That was after they jumped the shark. Must have been, right? It was near the end. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Arnold?

I did he have a... No, Joni loves Chachi. Oh, yeah, Johnny loves Chachi. You got the hardest one. Morque and Mindy is the one people don't know usually. Johnny loves Chachi. Like you don't know that. I had no idea.

Ben Stiller references it in Dodgeball. Oh, okay. That's where I know it from. Joni loves Chachy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's where I've heard it. Yeah. You ever see that Dickie Roberts with David Spade? At the end of the movie, they have a thing where they have all these child stars, like real former child stars singing a song. And, you know, just. I mean, how much did that cost to get that together? I don't know, but it's really great. Probably, yeah. Who's on there? Ron Howard, is he on there?

Ron Howard is he on there? Ron Howard's not on there because, you know, I think he's went on to be a very successful. It's mainly child stars that are like have now gone back to their regular lives. We're available for this. Yeah. They're almost all available. Yeah. But it's really, it's really funny. But they have a Joni, Joni Chachi thing on there.

That 70 show. All right, right. And that 90s show, which I never saw. Step by step. Love that show. So is it just any show that's supposed to be Middle America? No. They just put it in Wisconsin.

No, but it gets a decent amount. Step by step. They have a somebody, they, the couple of those girls are running an Instagram account where they're really

breaking down a lot of step-by-step stuff. So in case you're looking for a more in-depth study of step-by-step, they are doing that. You want to take it

step by step. Yeah, they are. Is that, was that a Patrick Duffy vehicle? Patrick Duffy and Suzanne. Summer.

Okay. All right. Yeah. Patrick Duffy vehicle. There are many. Picket fences. Okay. What is that?

In the 80s? No, it's probably nine. 90s probably. No, this is like, is this your TV heyday right around this era? The 80s were.

Happy days. This is still on your watch list. I mean, I like a, the Lord of Vernon Shirley. Well, both of those theme songs were incredible. Happy Days and Love Verne Shirley.

You just watch the, Sunday, Monday, Happy Days. No, the original. There was the original one, which was rock around the clock. Oh. And then they changed it to the happy days. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. This is like opening one of those boxes. Here's one for you, Aaron. Live and Maddie. I was on that show.

You are? I did two episodes. Here's one for you, Frank. Live and Maddie? It's a kid's show, and I tweeted about it because my daughter said something, and then they asked me to be on it, and I did two episodes. How about that? Why did you say it was one for me?

Because it's a Disney Channel show, and I figured that's, you know all the Disney channel. You know, I think Greg Warren told us last week that John Matt called Charles Barkley to say that they needed to put a stop to you. Yeah, that was a story. Well, Barclay recently he's talked about it on the, he talked about on the Kelsey podcast,

and then recently he talked about it on PTI, or P.M. PMT. So, Big Cat, those guys. So I get trouble with, I have trouble with initials and put them in the right order. So I did some commercial.

things years ago and Madden didn't like that I did it and he called Charles Barkley and Charles is the one who told me the story. He's like, you know John Madden wanted to sue you, right? Like, I yeah, I kind of was named in the lawsuit. Yeah, I think there was something. Although I had myself indemnified when I signed on and that's why I never do anything like this again. But he tells me the story and I didn't want to. So Madden calls him and says, we got to sue Calliando. He's like, why man? Because Calando, he just makes us more money, man. He's like, I don't like him. You know, that kind of thing.

So, finally, he can't, Barclay kind of talks him out of it, but they settle somehow. And I was for Dish Network, and they paid him out. But it was, it was kind of a weird thing. So I never told anybody about the story because I don't want to break Barclay's confidence. He didn't say, this is a story I'm telling you so you could tell other people. Yeah, yeah. And I'd rather be friends with Charles Barkley than. have him hate me. Yeah, of course. So I'm like, okay, so I never told me, but then he told

people on the pod that the Taylor Swift husband podcast, and now I feel like it's free reign to do it. But yeah, that was, that was, that's pretty surreal. I mean, and he might have been in the right on it to try and try and do that. Greg Warren's one of my favorite. Greg. I didn't know it came to suing when Greg told it to me. And maybe it wasn't. Well, that's fine, because he set you up just like he set me up there. Yeah. The, Greg Warren, and this is a terrible dark story. story, but Greg Warren and I got stuck in Houston with a torrential downpour. We got, it rained so bad that the, there was a place called the Allen Park Inn that you used to stay at for the improv and whatever other club was there at the time.

Might have been spellbinders. I'm not sure. But it just flooded the hotel. We were, Greg and I had to get back from the club. We're trudging through streets that were maybe alligator filled. I'm not sure what. So that happens. And then a few years later, five, six, seven years later, I'm in L.A.

I don't know where Greg was because I don't care. So I don't know where Greg is. And I just thought this is the perfect time to text him because it was 9-11. And a terrible thing happened. A terrible thing happened. The second plane goes into the building. And I text Greg Warren. I go, text it a minute.

This is the second worst thing I've ever seen in my entire life. And he knew exactly that the worst was the two of us stuck, which is absolutely nowhere close to being as bad as that. But Greg knew exactly what I was talking about. It's so funny, man. Yeah. Back to Wisconsin. Yeah.

The first Wisconsin cheesehead. I think I could do your voice. The first Wisconsin cheesehead. There's something there. That doesn't sound like me. No, no, but I'm trying to find it. Actually wanted a Milwaukee Brewers game. What was that?

What was that? cheese head. The cheese head associated with the packers. Okay. Somebody wore it out of a brewers game. Yeah. Some crazy guy. It was a couch cushion.

A guy made a couch cushioning burn holes in it. Yes. And this guy's insane. And it caught on it. Painted yellow quickly and became the symbol that. Do you think he burned holes in it or it was a couch that he had that already had the burns? I don't know. Man, this looks like cheese.

I don't know. Did the derogatory term for people from Wisconsin come from that? Or was it the other way around? I think so. Chicken or the egg thing? No, I think it was Don't you call people cheeseheads If you're from Wisconsin

I thought it was because of the No, I think they were called We were called cheeseheads before And then the guy probably did that Okay But I'm not sure That's a good chicken or egg I mean, that's something to

Well, Wisconsin is the nation's top Cheese Produce in state? I do love cheese skirts You know? I mean, I don't know You know, we're talking about cheese Yeah, no, it's not like I remember

I love a cheese card What did you think it was? Gosh, What? You've said... Well, I think there's more dairy in California than there is. California has more dairy, but... But not more cheese.

Not more cheese. I love cheese. The town of Plymouth, Wisconsin is considered the cheese capital of the world. I would think some of you guys would be into cheese here. I mean, I love cheese. I like it too. I put cheese makes everything better. We're just at that point of the podcast where this, you know what I mean?

It's warm in here. No, no, no. I'm saying that's why, yeah, the enter... You guys have the heat on in here? I thought. Yeah, we cranked it off. A little cheese talk. I'd pep it up.

That's what you thought? All right, how about this, Desi? Hey, give me a little cheddar. You thought I made the mozzarella the entire fire a case. Milwaukee is the beer capital of the world. Oh.

Miller, Paps, Schlitz, all produced in Milwaukee. Schlitz went out of business, didn't it? Schlitts is dead. Milwaukee's best. Okay. You went to college in Milwaukee.

University of Wisconsin, Milwaukee. Yeah. It's where Bruce Pearl was, right? Bruce Pearl was there. Yeah. Yeah. And he was here at Tennessee at one. point. Oh, yeah.

I used to say, every time I see him on TV, he's, how you doing, how you doing? That's what he looked like. He just looked like an extra in the soprano. He's not Italian, but how you doing? How are you doing? How are you doing? How are you doing?

All right. That's good. That was almost Joey Diaz. What's going on here, guys? What are you doing? That is Joey Diaz. And I just realized I can't say anything. Edited in Joey Diaz.

say what the, it's great to you guys are bunch of, all right. Welcome to Nateland. Punk figure. All right. Thank you for more good joy. A lot of comedy clubs in Wisconsin. Comedy on state in Madison.

Madison, yeah. Great club. Generally consider one of the best clubs in the country. Is it really? I never worked there. I never headline there, actually. I featured there. amazing.

It's got my first weekend. Ten years ago, I did. I'm excited. Thank you. In May. Great job. Thank you. All about you.

Just give you that. That might be the funniest part of the fucking. Unaccepting. No. But that is. When people talk about comedy clubs, that's usually one of the top three that they said. Low ceiling, right? Yeah, I think it's just like a perfect room.

It used to be. It's a fun city, too. It used to be funny business. I think it was funny business. Oh, that's when I featured for them. Right. Okay. So it was funny business.

It was a Yoder gig. Yeah, it was a Yoder. And the funniest thing was there were two brothers that owned it. They hated each other. They wanted to, they didn't like the way the other one booked it. But one of them gave me this advice. Are you going to, oh, you can do something besides impressions? I don't think you could get anywhere with that.

I'll just do what I'm doing. Yeah. You learn the guitar or something, Frank. Yeah, I mean, the best one of those was actually over in Kansas City, the best, like, do you guys ever work for Craig Glazer back in the day? No. Stanford and Zons? I never worked at a club.

He claimed to have invented everybody. It was like, Caratop came through years ago. He's doing intellectual comedy. I said, forget that. Grab the trunks, pull stuff out of it. Where is he in Vegas making millions of dollars? Where am I?

Stanford's son's thinking about Seinfeld came through. He wanted to be a prop comedian. I said, you know, I'm going to do that. Do the observational humor. Find little things in minutia in the real world and then bring that to life. The next thing you know, he's making millions of dollars. Where am I? Stanford and sons?

So many guys. I mean, there's, uh, I said to Shane Gillis, don't just stay, don't, don't ever do anything,

uh, over the top. Make sure you never get even close to be canceled. Just, uh, play it clean. Don't do anything. Whereas he now making millions of dollars.

Where my Stanford and sons? I've, I've known multiple people who claim to have given Dan Whitney, you should do Larry the cable guy. Well, That's what I said to him. I said, forget about being Dan Whitney.

Dan Whitney bores me. But you do those jokes with the character. Make it, I don't know, a cable guy. That's a great idea. He wanted to, he wanted to do it completely different. He'd be Gary the label guy. I said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't be Gary the label guy. People aren't really making a lot of labels maybe in an office situation, but people don't do that.

Next thing you know, he's saying, get her done and by making millions of dollars. Where am I? Stanford, so I'm thinking about it. That's great. Uh, Skyline Comedy Club in Appleton. Skyline, that's great. That's fun. The Laughing Tap.

I don't know what that is. I think it's in Milwaukee. Milwaukee Improv. Comedy Cabin in Janesville. I'm doing that in November. Okay. What was the club you did? You said that there's a strip club on top of it or on the, right above it.

I was in Milwaukee Jokers. Yeah. It was a comedy's own gig. It was underneath or above a strip club? It was below. Okay. You had to go down in the basement. And then the shows are always bad, and you could hear the bass from the club.

And you knew that. And dreams dying. Yeah. Well, you knew everybody in the audience was like, this was the wrong of the two entertainment choices. I wish I were upstairs. Sure, they're unattractive up there too. Although dusty slate does potentially become a stripper name. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know, if it doesn't work out downstairs. Head on up. you know but jokers was like they had it was like a really good looking club they had a lot of like they had the old school paintings of characters like comedy characters and it was a nice room really i'd never done that i remember that club because there was stooges on the south side that was always a mom and pop kind of thing there was the comedy cafe downtown that was really

really good um and then that jokers opened up and i'd never gone over there because i knew the owners and was loyal to the owners of the other clubs. And I was like, and I never even saw, I never even saw that club. It never was good, but it could have been good. So that area of town, I don't know, I went there recently to see what was going on. And it's, it's not a, it doesn't seem like a great area.

Well, strip clubs are not usually in the high end suburbs. That is true. You're not going to the Oak Creek. That's true. Not to this one anyway. You're not going to Mechwan's dance club. You know, I went to, I did comedy cafe one time. I did a guest spot.

I was just trying to get in. I did a guest spot on a Thursday. There was only four people there in the audience. I did five minutes. I never made them laugh one time. And then I got done and I told the booker. I was like, you know, I'd still like to work here. But I do get it if you don't want to book me.

But it was, you know. Who was the booker? I don't, I think it was the owner. I guess it was a guy. I mean, how long ago was it? it? 10 years ago. It wasn't J.D., was it?

The big Smowen guy? No. No. It was probably the people who bought it off him. But I was like, yeah, I was like, you could see that I was funny. You could see how this could work, right? I mean, they should have laughed. I mean, they really should have laughed.

I don't know why they did. I don't know how you could perform in front of four people. It's just impossible. Yeah. It was four women. They all seemed uncomfortable to be there. Yeah. It was reverse strip clubs.

Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, Dusty Slape! And they had no dollars for me. They had not one dollar. Maybe some pennies. Yeah, maybe. Penny slots. Maybe.

Yeah, there was some, you know, there was some laughs in their eyes, but they were. You could see the happiness in their souls. You give me 10 more minutes. It was coming. I did a show in Waukesha. Oh, you did? Yeah, it's a church, Fox River Church there. Oh.

And that's where you grew up, right? Yeah, Wonger Show, Wisconsin. I didn't know there was a church there. And Will Durst? Will Durst Madison guy? Oh no, he's from Waukeshaer, right? He went to, yeah. He went to Waukesha Central, which became Waukesha South, which is where I went.

Yeah. Did Matt TV come and then Frank TV? Yeah. Yeah. I was done at Mad TV and then I got a development deal with TBS to do my show, which we didn't know what to name. And I was just like about Frank TV because they didn't want to do the Frank show or something like that.

I was like Frank TV. People thought I did it because of Mad TV. I was like, I actually. wasn't even thinking of that. Like it might have been in the back of my head subliminally, but I, it wasn't. They thought it was like a screw you to mad. I was like, no, I was trying to forget that. Yeah.

It was a great show. My show? Yeah. My show is all right. I love that show. That's where you did the Seinfeld. Yeah. The problem was they edited all the fat out of it except for me, which is the fattest part.

But they, I was really big at the time. I mean, I dwarfed all of us. I was like that you were to end. I did. I did. And I realized. Yeah. That was nice.

We all appreciate it. The Notre Dame Jumbotron over here. You did say I was gravity earlier. And I wasn't even thinking for that reason. But it fits. But I look back and I see some pictures. Like there's a picture. Like I have great moments.

Like Google Frank Caliando Tom Cruise. And you'll see a picture that looks like I'm trying to eat them. That's like, well, the White House. That's massive, right? Oh, yeah. Wow. There's a chance. He looks extra skinny in this.

Yeah, because I was taking some of it from him. I was Ralphie Frank. Hi, hi, hi. So, yeah, that's, that's, that's, that's, none of that. That doesn't even look like you. No, it doesn't. I mean, that was, I couldn't button that jacket. And I thought I was the same.

This is how delusional I was. I'm like, Tom Cruise and I are twins. Like, we are of the same ilk. What year was this? I honestly don't. I don't. I'm real bad with sequential order. I don't.

Well, I watched you at the White, not the White House, the congressional. Right. And that was 2006. And that's about like, you look. Oh, no, I was, I was thinner then compared to that. This is, uh, this is probably, yeah, I don't know. I honestly don't know. If you, maybe is it time stamped on that?

I don't know. I'll look. Was this, this is when you had your own show? Um, because it's, maybe it's kind of like, you know, you work for a, Would have been around 2007-ish then? 2008. This was December of 2008. You work for a corporation.

You get a per DM and you're like, well, I get this money to eat and they're not going to let me take it home. So I got to eat. I got to use all this money. That's what I used to do. I think I just ate. I don't think I needed any other reason. I mean, that doesn't even look like that. That looks like a wig I'm wearing.

Like it doesn't look like the hair fits my head. It does look like your head is pushing your hair off. Yeah. It's sloping back. It looks like you have a body suit. Yeah, yeah, there's a lot. Your neck should not be wider than the top of your head. I think you look good, man.

No, you don't. No, you're just trying to make yourself feel better. Because next to that, next to that you're Richard Simmons. Slim good body. I'll find a reference somewhat topical eventually. No, I love that. Yeah, I mean, that's, but like I have that moment with Tom Cruise, that was a pretty awesome. Yeah, I bet.

I'm talking to my agents in the green room. And I'm like, I'm talking about it. So I found out Tom Cruise was going to be on the show. I'm like, this is pretty cool. Because I was never a person that got ratings for the tonight show, but I could hold ratings. And they'd book me and they'd be like, hey, we got a great A list guest. This is perfect for you to come in. And you can, we want to try and hold the ratings.

People will stick around for you. They're not, they were honest with me. And I'm like, thank you. I'd rather hear that than the crap. I always hear from everybody else. But they're like, yeah, you'll come in and hold. that but you get to be on with these A-list guests. I'm like, it sounds awesome.

It's awesome. So I'm in the green room talking to my agents about Tom Cruise, and I say Scientology. I just say the word. And every's like, I was like, what? Turns out, I had said Tom Cruise's name three times, and it was like Candy Man. He just showed up behind me. And I was like, and he's just, I turn around. They go, I turn around and he goes, you are a very funny man.

And I was like, and I really did say this. I was like, and you complete me? I don't know. What am I supposed to say? And I'm like, how do you even know who I was? He's like, he watched the NASCAR Awards, which I hosted. Wow. And because of the day's the thunder, he was associated with NASCAR all the time. So it was pretty cool. I always find that cool when people know who I am and they're that big of a star. Yeah. And if there's witnesses. That's the other part of course. So they're just telling you like, whatever. But if it's one of your kids, it's pretty awesome or something like that. But that, that whole time. I told that story about meeting Tom Cruise River. And I, I, I, I told that story about meeting Tom Cruise River. And I, this is how messed up my brain is. I've never done any drugs in my entire life.

I've never been drunk. This is all because I don't try to focus. Probably have ADD. Oh, yeah, exactly. Can we run an ad? I thought it was on Letterman when I met him. But I was telling somebody I was on Letterman. I say right there.

And then he goes, no, look at the picture. Jay Leno's in the picture. Zoom out a little. I was like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. That must have been. Well, Letterman did a show where he dressed up as Leno, didn't he? Yeah, kids, today.

putting on the wig and this one fits not like Calendos. Get the Lishbreadty because we're going to enjoy some natural cheese. Flameder Doritos. You weren't drinking at all here? No, does that make it worse? Well, that's how I looked when I used to drink. You know, so. Yeah, no, that's just pure.

But you weren't talking to Tom Cruise either. No, no, no, no. He might not the real Tom Cruise at least. Tom Cruise of the dirt track. but that that yeah there was a time that's and nobody told me because I was making a lot of people a lot of money at that point so everybody's like you look great

you're doing great you're doing that did you just eat part of the earth I'm hard um get frank some more crossed his chest hairs yeah right the hairs were getting further and further apart did you middle part your chest hair nope it's just my skin has stretched This episode comes out September 2nd.

We always wrap with telling people where we're going to be. I pulled yours up there for you. September 6, I will be at Zanies in Chicago. That's Labor Day weekend, so you don't have to work the next day. Come on now for that. September 25th, I'll be in Canton, Ohio, doing an outdoor plaza show there. It'll be good. I just did an outdoor show with Steve Trevino.

You guys know Steve? Yeah. Yeah, Steve, an incredible, I hung out with him and his family for a couple days, too. I met his son. His son is a 10-year-old baseball player that is possibly on his way to the major leagues. I mean, the kid's unbelievable. But we greeted his son and his son. Hello, sir, ready for, ready to do whatever you need, sir.

And I was like, this is kind of crazy. And I'm like, this is kind of awesome. Yeah. Like my kids are like, whatever, dad. And his kids greeting him. So that just made me think of that, the outdoor show. And it was unbelievable. I usually would not do outdoor shows because of the Steve stuff.

We did it in his hometown of Portland, Texas. And it was the Steve Trevino family reunion, essentially. And it was incredible. So outdoor shows can be great. That's where I was getting to with that. Am I supposed to say where I'm going to be next? If you want. I'm going to be in Schaumburg, Illinois, at the Chicago Improft, September 25th and 26th.

And the Palm Beach Improv, October 8th. and ninth there at the Palm Beach Impro, Frankonstage.com for tickets. And I know I had to reschedule something. It's not on my website yet, but I'm going to be in Providence at the Comedy Connection, I believe in February of next year. So FrankonStage.com for those tickets.

Gravity. Aaron Weber here. I want to be in Orlando, Florida. Come see me at the Funny Bone out there. I haven't been there since they called it the funny. It used to be the improv. That's the one where the guy went up and did the Madden in front of me. Oh, really?

Well, I'm going to try to do that. Make sure he doesn't do any grab there. Go see me in Orlando. And then that weekend, I'm in Conroe, Texas at the Riot Comedy Club. Never been there. I'm excited coming out and see me Dusty. Okay, that week of September, I'm off. Could be working. Could be working. The next weekend, though, I'm at Zanis here, September 8th. I have a show at Zanis. September 10th. I'm in Charleston, South Carolina at Theater 99. The 11th, Columbus, Ohio. And where are you there in Columbus?

I'm at a theater in Columbus. Well, last time you were there, the theater closed. The theater closed. I was going to say that as a joke. Yeah. It closed before you got that? It was sold out and then it just closed. So they obviously weren't managing their money well.

And then on the 12th, I'll be in Louisville, Kentucky. So it's going to be a hot week. That is a fun week. Hot week. Yes. Now, I know you're not a puppet, but before we go, Aaron used to play a little high school football. He'd always dream played the NFL.

What would Mel Kuyper say? Talk about tremendous guy. Put him on the outside. Looks like he could run tremendous routes. This is the guy who's not just about speed, but precision turning. He could plant the foot, push off it harder than anybody else. A lot of people say, hey, we're going to put Aaron Weber on the inside, the interior alliance?

I said, no, you'd be abusing the talent that he has. Put him on the outside. Let him truck some guys. I'm not sure. Depending on how you have your controller set up, Aaron Weber is going to be the B button. You start trucking. You'd be hard past, tell me otherwise. That's great.

Take it home to us all. Okay. Well, listen. Thank you guys for tuning in. Thank you, Frank Calli Endo for being our guest. Unbelievable. And we'll see you next week, and we're having a good time. We love being in the public eye.

If we weren't, then we want. Hot Cots with Brian, Aaron, and Dusty. These three guys are old, fat and musty. The podcast is Hoggers Podcast.