The Nateland Podcast - #31 Odd Jobs

Episode Date: January 27, 2021

This episode, we're talking about odd jobs. The guys look at some of the oddest jobs people do for money and discuss some of the jobs they had before getting into comedy.   Co-hosts: Brian Bates ( https://www.instagram.com/brianbatescomic) & Aaron Weber ( https://www.instagram.com/realaaronweber)   Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail]   www.magicspoon.com/NATE get $5 off your next delicious bowl of guilt-free cereal at MAGIC SPOON DOT COM SLASH NATE and use the code NATE. nateland #natebargatze

Hello folks, welcome to Nate land. I'm Nate Bargatze sitting here with Aaron Weber, Brian Bates as usual. Uh, welcome back. Uh, glad to have you. Uh uh i'm wearing a sweater i get asked sometimes about this but my this is a buddy of mine adam agey uh guy i golf with he gave me a sweater he's in a band he sings yeah so that's their logo yeah because it's Adam Agee, A-A. Oh. So, you know, I don't just – he didn't ask for this. I said I'd wear it on the podcast. He's a good golfer, really good golfer. Better than you?

Yeah, probably right now. We're close. We would play – we match up very well together. He hits it very far. A long hitter. Much longer than me. But I almost caught him last week. I let him know. I was like, I'm getting close.

How do you feel about that? Just chirp out there a little bit about golf. I like people that don't like golf stuff. We just – it's out in the open now. I went to the uh driving range this week yeah and how'd it go man well it sounds like not a good time i went you know i go down to like to the end away from everybody else just to kind of be left alone yeah and most people just will leave you they pay attention you go to the side where your back's to everybody? Or you just go to an end because you're left-handed?

Oh. Would you rather have your back to everybody? Yes. Yes, my back to everybody so they can't see me and I can't see them. Wow. And then if his front, that's all open to be – you're able to be hit. That's true too. Yeah.

You got sideways to here a ball can shoot off now i didn't go to the very end but i was the farthest down at the time yeah this 80 year old lady comes down there props down beside me like the one right and i know what she's doing her husband is still back there getting the balls yeah so. So she's just waiting. So she's just staring straight the direction toward me. And I'm trying to ignore her and just kind of do my own thing. And I hit one like a duff at like 12 feet. Yeah. And I'm like, and I'm just looking like, you know, watching like,

and then I just hear a voice say, I know that feeling. Yeah. And then her husband comes down and he's like a hundred. Yeah. And they're hitting and they're not good my wife said well that should make you feel better that at least she was terrible i was like no it makes me feel worse because she thinks we're the same yeah she was saying that to make me feel good like hey man we've all been there we've all been there and we have yeah that's the tough part about being left-handed is you have to face the right-handed hitter next to you. Yeah.

If you don't get the right direction. I'd never thought about that. And so you're just looking. Because, like, if everybody's right-handed, you can see just the person next to you, but you're back. You know that guy's probably looking at you, but you don't see him looking at you. Yeah.

And you're left-handed. Like, when a left-handed golfer goes to range, like at our course our ball all the golf balls are just already laid out there and they're in like a uh basket yeah and so but they always have to move the basket over to the other side it's always a nightmare when you got to go there and you're like why are these dumb balls on the wrong side is these left-handed these left-handed people coming in ruin it but it is they have you have to face each other. Yeah. And, yeah, as long as you didn't get one sideways.

Oh, I've hit one through my legs before. Yeah. Somehow it went straight through my legs. There's a great video I just sent to my brother. But a guy hits, and he misses. It's teed up, and it goes right under. And then he's looking down at the ball, keeping his eye on the ball and the ball just comes straight up and hits him in the eye.

I mean, unreal. That's why golf is so, I love it so much. And what makes it so funny is stuff that seems impossible happens and it happens to the worst golf. I mean, for you to be able to swing a full swing with a driver teed up and make the ball hit you in the eye i mean you you just can't no one can do that you couldn't replicate it if you tried you know you just can't yeah and for that to happen that's that's the that's the beauty of golf is just you your club you hold it wrong, you dig a bad swing.

Duffing it is, you know, you're at least like, all right, it went forward. Right. But, I mean, it can go sideways. I mean, as you know, I've had a Yale 4 on a driving range before. Yeah. He was hitting in the net, just to quick tell the story, and he just would have sliced it, I guess, to his. He sliced it, I guess, to his. He sliced it.

And so, like, he's hitting. He's kind of hitting farther back because he just took lessons. And so he's hitting farther back, and the range is up. But up to the right. And so he slices it, and it just comes flying down the line of people. And he has to yell, four! But no one knows to. When somebody else four at a range like the people don't know where it's coming like they don't understand what's happening as far as they know everybody's hitting in line with them yeah where could this ball be coming

from and it just comes and there's a net there to try to stop it, but his slice was so good that the ball, which is crazy to think that you can hit a ball that goes straight and takes a hard right and then almost gains speed at that turn. And all these people had to drop to the ground at the rain. They don't, you know, they don't know where it comes from. I mean, man, when somebody else four at you on a golf course, you just – Ryan Malone, he's like, four. He's a very deep four.

We all love his four because it's very just like, four. I had a guy one day behind us playing, and he was yelling four. I mean, it was every hole. And you're like, what's happening back there like i mean every i've had fights that's where fights happen people hit into people and uh i've i've had it where i've almost someone got into with us our neighbor our neighbor hit um one guy hits ball goes on his t-box my neighbor duanene, and he goes on his tee box. These people are teeing off.

So they look at us and throw their hands up like, what are you doing? And it's sitting there. You're like, I always think when someone hits into you, you always should go, don't get mad. What do you think they want to hit into you? Do you think that they're going, I hope I get into an argument with this stranger? No, nobody wants to hit into you. So we have to go over there and we're like, dude, and I tell him that. I'm like, no, we're not trying to.

He yelled four. You didn't hear it. We're sorry. Obviously, obviously, we're not trying to hit into you. And then as we do that, my other neighbor, Felix, that's with us, he's kind of near us off to the side a little bit he's hitting he's hitting in an opposite direction and i get everybody kind of calmed down and then felix hits it to the right and hits the cart with the guy's wife in it and she just goes oh come on guys

and i mean at that point it looks i'll go and i just had to like look he might have been trying to do that i can't apologize for that one because I don't know what his plan was with that. But, I mean, just to get the emotions calmed down. That's what I, yeah. Golf is just, it's beautiful. You know, basketballs don't shoot off in weird directions. No. Like, I just love the idea of, like, it's just, you see stuff.

The worst golf in the world could hit a shot that a trick shot artist couldn't do because they're just so. The laws of physics don't apply. They don't. Yeah. John Augustine, who just played at the AMX tournament, he can top one on purpose. And so he'll do that when people come and they'll be like,

hey, this guy's playing in the Masters. And they're like, whoa. And then they all watch him at the driving range and he'll just top it. And he goes just nowhere. And they're like, oh, that guy's playing in the Masters, and they're like, whoa. And then they all watch him at the driving range, and he'll just top it, and he goes just nowhere. And they're like, oh, that guy's playing in the Masters. All right, so we talked about golf. Can't help it. I'll have to start my own golf podcast and just.

So, as always, we'll start off with comments from YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, Apple Podcast Reviews, or you can email us at nateland at nabargatzee.com. Max Parsons. Most people say those were simpler times when referring to pre-internet, cell phones, social media, etc. But not Nate. Nate sees the simpler times as being when Neanderthals. Is that how you say it?

Neanderthals. Neanderthals. Neanderthals. Yeah. When Neanderthals, there's no way they use that word to describe themselves. That's too big of a word. They didn't, you know.

That's what we call them, a gigantic word. I'm trying to do a new joke about big words. Big words are just to make people feel stupid. And that would be that. And I might actually use that in the bit. Because Neanderthals would be like, well, you're a Neanderthal. And you're like, well, I don't even know what that is. And they're like, exactly.

And you're like, well, you're only using that word to make me feel dumb. And then you use, what is a Neanderthal? It's like a caveman, right? So you always go, well, why don't we just say caveman? Why do you got to fancy the word up a little bit? And it's so y'all can pay for for your so y'all can say your education means something so y'all talk different had all right nate sees the simpler times as being when neanderthals that's like bartholomew like i have a real hard time with that one nate sees the

simpler times being with neanderthals had to eat 10 hours a day to stay alive and gave almost a sigh of disappointment that things aren't that way anymore this is the seinfeld of podcasts a show about nothing but somehow it's funny and i keep coming back for more ps please do more states we are going to do more states thank you very much uh yeah so yeah because i said it was when they ate 10 hours a day to stay alive you said something like but the winning they didn't have anything else to do back then. It was a simpler time. It was a simpler time. Is that not a simpler time? For sure. That is the simplest time. You just got to eat.

That sounds like a lot. It's not like you can just go to a grocery store. You got to find that food. Yeah, but they don't know that. It's not like they're living behind a Publix going, what's in there? And they don't know that they can just buy fish in there. They don don't know that they can get, you know, well, you can just buy fish in there.

They don't even know how hard they had it. No, they had no idea. People don't, you don't know until you know later. That's right. You don't know what you don't know. Simpler times. Caitlin McKinsky. Could be right.

Machinsky or McKinsky. Caitlin, I work at a university. My plan is to become a professor, so I feel like I can help clear up the confusion. All professors teach courses. An adjunct is hired semester to semester and paid per course rather than salaried. An adjunct.

Still not, is that better? You're hired semester to semester and paid per course. You should get cash after you get done teaching your class. They just walk up and give you a hondo. They give you, here you go, a couple hundred, a little extra for Christmas. And you're like, I appreciate this history. It's been pretty fun to me, actually. I mean, you're just piece by piece.

She wants to be a real professor. Yeah, she went on. I left that part out because it would have really confused you. I mean, you're just piece by piece. She wants to be a real professor. Yeah, I left that part out because it would have really confused you, but she explained every professor and what the different levels. Yeah. Oh, yeah, so that's the general idea. Yeah, but adjunct professor is someone that's not salaried by the university. They're paid per class.

Yeah, they just like to bounce around. It would be someone. Do they want to be a professor, though? I have a friend who's an adjunct professor at Vanderbilt. He teaches a business class. Yeah. And he's... Happy with what he's doing. Yeah.

He's not trying to be something. He's like, oh, I like this. I get to do my own thing, mix it up. Yeah. Okay. I wonder if they make as much, though, as a professor. For that one class? Yeah, but you get paid class by class

if you really feel like a celebrity they might get paid more right yeah who are you talking to no he was nodding no answer your question i mean aaron's aaron started his own podcast within the podcast he's i mean he's over here what is going on on? He's just, my goodness. Everybody, please welcome to listen to Aaron Land. When is it air? Air is during Nate Land. Sorry. I didn't know you guys were going to do something together.

You should give me a heads up. He's answered the question. I'm sorry about that, man. What was the answer? He said, no, they don't get paid as much. They don't get paid as much they don't get paid but like pete budaj but they might like the freedom or it's my wife is an adjunct professor at ntsu but her day job is an accounting manager somewhere else oh so it's like a side thing like she likes teaching yes yes okay so what i'm saying though it's not a full-on

but if she doesn't want to be a full professor she has no desire but she's like i still like to teach yeah and it's yeah okay i mean i didn't know we had an adjunct professor dennis where were we at we had a whole you go i do it uh every day i'm glad you talked to him aaron yeah absolutely good job aaron pete budaj was an adjunct professor at notre dame when he was mayor of south bend yeah he taught like an urban development class or something yeah so it's like you're doing it and it's just it's a good thing for your resume yeah yeah yes i'm an adjunct professor yeah that should come up a better name adjunct doesn't sound you That should come up with a better name. Adjunct doesn't sound, you know.

I would almost, if I'm interviewing you and you go, I'm an adjunct professor, I'd be like, thank you, but no. We don't do that stuff in our, it just sounds bad. I don't know. And then someone walks out, they go, what was she? I think she said she's a junkie. She's a junkie. She said, I'm a junkie. That's a, she's a junkie. She said,

I'm a junkie. That's how I would hear it and go, well, that's crazy. You just say that out loud. Uh, Lauren, Alyssa,

Alyssa, I'm from Las Vegas. And I just want to let Aaron know that the casinos each have a C a signature fragrance that is pumped into the air vents. So it creates a certain smell in the hotels i'm assuming other places probably have this too okay okay that's like starbucks inventions oh oh that was one of his inventions you're making dangerous assumptions there lauren oh all right she's just assuming other places have it too yeah i mean i that's for commercial

use but that's a very way to say it too yeah i mean i that's for commercial use but that's a very way to say it where you're just annoyed with the person talking casinos do it i'm assuming other places too and then you go well i don't i said other places probably do it right i want a residential residential units yeah you're inventing just like something that's also already invented but you're just like what if we did it in tree houses and you're like oh i guess that's never been done and you go yeah yeah look i've lost confidence in the in the invention idea since i said it i'll say that yeah i've lost confidence in it for sure. We'll see what happens. Pastor Will Rose.

The story of the fast food heist reminded me of a prank my friends and I did in high school. One evening we taped a sign on the drive-thru menu and speaker that said, speak really, really loud. Microphone is broken. And then we went into the restaurant to listen to people scream their orders so that

everyone in the restaurant could hear them. It was pretty dang entertaining. Every time I go through a drive-thru, I laugh thinking about it. You know? Give yourself a memory every time you go to the drive-thru. Yeah. Which is a pretty good memory. That's very funny to hear them.

Number one. Just people, I mean. And then the inside just going, what is going on with everybody today? This town has gone crazy. Wally Gustafson this guy was it's like uh beauty and the beast uh isn't he gustav isn't it something yeah yeah it's gonna turn this is some old money right here love the podcast and was laughing so hard at the baby cage discussion in 1988 i visited fin Finland with my family, and we went to the grocery store.

As we were walking in, I noticed roughly 12 baby strollers lined up neatly all filled with live babies crying and doing whatever babies do when they think they might have been abandoned. I asked our host family why all the babies are sitting there alone, to which they responded, who wants to bring a crying baby into the store with them? People literally left their babies outside, I think I've seen this. I've read something about that. Yeah.

It was almost like it was that safe of a place that you could leave your baby. In Finland? In Finland. I think, look, if you're brave enough, I think you could leave your baby in finland in finland i think look if you're brave enough i think you could leave a baby at a walmart nons world i don't just make up some i think you could leave it i think someone that wants to steal a baby you have to be you know you might go hey we should steal that baby and someone's like that's a what are you gonna do with the baby and you're right and then they would move on i think someone's like, what are you going to do with the baby? And you're right. And then they would move on.

I think it's, I mean, people are stealing babies, but you would have to, it'd have to be, you'd have to get someone that's prepared to steal a baby.

Yeah. But I mean, I'm definitely not going to, I was not saying we should leave babies. I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't in this confidence. There was just a case locally

where someone got carjacked and the baby was in the back seat, and the car was found soon after abandoned. I mean, the baby was fine. Yeah. But I think, to your point, when that happens, people don't want that baby. I mean, it's not as easy to get the, you know,

I don't know, it's not as, you know, you can't, how do you, you should probably get a cell to like someone that wants to adopt. It's just as, you know, you can't, how do you, you should probably sell it to like some of the ones that adopt. It's just a lot. That's a little bit more, you know. Why'd you steal a baby, dude? Just don't, like, we do car radios. You think you're like, you don't have someone that can do a baby? You're like, I mean, it's a whole other world, dude.

That's like the big leagues right there. You know, that's. Yeah. We just like steal stuff out of trucks. a whole nother world dude that's like this the big leagues right there you know that's yeah we just like still stuff out of trucks paul emmy mueller hearing nate give advice about healthy eating because he feels better after his week of homemade steak and burritos is like listening to a newlywed couple give relationship advice paul let me tell you something. We have gone off the rails. So people don't understand. Me eating just homemade steak and burritos is a gigantic step.

Yeah, yeah. If you're eating processed food all the time, trust me, it is huge. And I'm just trying to give, because my problem with healthy, when people talk about eating healthy, they, you know, people always say, I might have talked about it, but eating fruit, someone would be like, oh, you don't eat too much fruit. No one's getting fat because they're eating too much fruit. No one is, you know, just a big guy.

They're like, what do you do? Like, I just have an orange problem. That's just not, that's not happening. But like i just have an orange problem that's just not that's not happening yeah but like real healthy people i do get the idea they don't you shouldn't eat that much fruit because there's sugar in the fruit but for a me like eat all the fruit yeah right do what everyone my the guy that's gonna help me eat better uh which is klug uh matt uh mcquiston is a strong man uh but he's he's really just like just getting i'm just trying to get you to eat at home yeah he's like let's just eat at home and then we will make adjustments from there and that's what i'm saying to there's a lot of people

that don't i don't understand healthy stuff yeah i don't know you've gone off the rail since then you've been eating outside? You know, it's just people are in town. You got to go eat with someone. And like, you don't realize how much you're like, you know, we have a buddy coming in this week. Justin Smith stopped by. He was doing a road gig.

I'm starting to become the house. If a comic has a long road gig, I let him stay here. Which, I mean, we're good friends with Justin. And so Justin was driving to Elon University. It's like a 17-hour drive from Oklahoma. So he came here and stayed, went and did the show, came back and stayed, and then drove back home. But, like, Justin was here, so then we'd go eat.

And then, you know, you have the fight. You just, like, have, like, stuff. It's, like, very hard for someone like me to not go, I believe you should just go. Let's just get a burger somewhere, like, you know, you have the fight. You just, like, have, like, stuff. It's, like, very hard for someone like me to not go, at least you just go, let's just get a burger somewhere. Like, you know. So that's where I'm going. But I do, yeah, I get it. I'm definitely not healthy.

When you say the fight, you're talking about UFC. The UFC fight. Yeah. Yeah, McGregor. Great fight, by the way. Poirier. Great fight. Wow. The other kid, the one before him, Chandler.

Yeah. He's local nashville guy nashville guy trains here uh so yeah ufc is i love ufc ufc you may tell you what ufc does good what they do so good is uh their post-conference is wonderful ufc is becoming one of my favorite leagues how open and like they just talk about stuff. Yeah. Is no league. Does it? I'm so tired of NFL interviews and NBA, you know, it was like,

how was it? Well, the game was like, whatever, Bob, they say the same stuff. What are you going to do next year? They're like,

I don't know what I'm going to do next year. And I get that. They might, some might not know, but it's like, there's no answers. No one gets any answers out of these. They ask them the same dumb questions.

They answer the same ways. You're interviewing Nick Saban after every interview. What's he going to say? Well, they played hard. We didn't play hard. You're like, no one cares, dude. Give us something. Or don't do the interview.

Yeah. You know all those interview moments that have gone viral and are famous among sports fans, like the playoffs. They are who we thought they were. There's like one of those every week in the UFC, I feel like. All the time. All the time. There's something entertaining and hilarious.

So they do it. I mean, I watched a post. So Dana White goes, and he's – so the big question with UFC is Khabib, because Khabib retired. And so is he going to come back? And, you know, he hints that he would maybe come back. And he wanted to watch these fights. And was like let me see if anybody if anybody shows like they're great and i want to fight them then i'll come back and so he was he was not so dana

white goes uh to the post conference and they said have you you know every the only question people want to know is did khabib think he'd want to fight one of these guys yeah and uh he goes yeah i talked to khabib and Khabib just said, Dana, be honest with yourself. I'm better than all these guys. It's a waste of my time to fight them. But Dana said that to us. Dana went from talking to Khabib and then told us.

No league does that. If you're asking Tom Brady if he's going to come back every week, there's not an answer. I don't know. I don't know. He's not going to go. There's no answer. Maybe.

It's all this cat cat mouse kind of game and with dana it's like no no i talked to me man he doesn't he wasn't impressed with anybody and they just openly just say everything and that's man that's a is a breath of fresh air as far as watching i mean i watched the post i watched the entire uh-conference. Yeah. I mean, an hour and a half. I just watch everybody come out. They call each other out. They say what they want to go do.

Dana says, like, you know, he doesn't always, like, say what kind of fights he's playing in, but he kind of goes, yeah, I talked to him. I'm trying to plan it. Let's see what happens. See, you know, being transparent, right? That is, that's, is... It feels great. And the UFC does a really good job at that.

And they do a really good job of having big fights. You know? Yeah. Because I'm a big fan of UFC, but I only know so many guys. I'm not into mixed martial arts where I know everybody. I didn't really know who that Chandler guy was. Yeah. But he had a good story

and it was fun and uh all right matthew gerber gerber from the gerber the gerber baby what if that's i mean he could be loaded mr 36 donuts is making wheels no problem love it is there oh that was it no that's just part of a larger issue which is that i have no credibility anymore on this podcast any prediction i make any statement is just oh you're making because you're making i'm the guy who said he could eat 36 donuts and ate 13 yeah and you said you can make wheels is that what he's saying i said i could easily make a wheel and brian didn't think i could yeah and none of our viewers or listeners did either. Oh, that's. Yeah. Nobody did.

I didn't say it would be easy, man. I said I'd figure it out. As you go speak to the town and go, I think I want to try to make a will. And they go, oh, yeah. Are you going to like you ate 25 pineapples last week? Did he? Like, no, not even close. And then people just walk off.

I think it would be like the town crier. Is that what it is? The town crier, yeah. You're just always yelling that you're going to do stuff. I'm going to make a will. And then you're like, we'll make it. You're like, I just wanted y'all to know that I'm thinking about it. You know what my strategy is, though?

This is my strategy in life. I had a friend in college who he played beer pong a lot and he would always call he'd call every shot you know yeah and he missed most of them but you remember the ones that you make yeah and we're like oh i got called it you know that's that's my strategy long term that is yeah long term that is true you do it you got to be around enough different people to do that. So your network of people you're saying that to, you can't be the same people.

Right. Because they're going to see through it. That's true. So I'm done on this podcast. I can't do it again. You can't do it anymore. But elsewhere in life. Hey, your other podcast that y'all started during this one,

maybe y'all could do it. Aaron Land. Aaron Land. When is it Aaron? Right in the middle of Nate Land. Krangis McBasketjus McBasketball. McBasketball. Cranjus McBasketball.

It's crazy. That guy's real name. Penguin. Penguin is one thing, but how about how Brianna pronounces wheel? Wheel? How do you say it? Probably like me. You both say it the same way.

A few people pointed out I say wheel. I say wheel. is he how you supposed to say it wheel wheel yeah wheel yeah we don't do enough wheel oil oil that's how you supposed to we say oil yeah i gotta get my old change i say that a lot if someone's outside of yeah talks like me they're like what and then it's like it's a tinfoil i don't even say it tinfoil i go i say motor oil because i'd know that you're at least put that together yeah i mean i bet you we say tinfoil yeah yeah we just do that's how we that's how it is wheel i said well i talked about they had to change all the words for me on uh wheel david robertson for your information wiki is a hawaiian term that means quick i only

know this because i visited my brother on a naval basis in hawaii and we had to take the wiki wiki bus from honolulu airport means quick quick it is now germane to looking things up quickly online wiki wiki wiki bus that's a very funny bus to take uh you're not on that long but it's fun to fund it by the time you stop laughing you're off joseph wolniski wonski nate a gasp is a breath in not a breath out you kept kept excelling when reacting Aaron's gasp about the iPhone. It sounded like you were exasperated, not amazed. Reenacting. I was a lot of things during that. Yeah, I saw some people commented on

All Things Comedy posted that clip. And then people were commenting. I saw those. They're like, yeah, dude, were you not impressed with the iphone like the idea that people understand anything about comedy to go yeah dude what do you think i'm just like no i'm not bro i'm not impressed by the iphone i mean my god what did like the whole like the podcast should just be like uh wow i gasped yeah you should have it was was a new iPhone. Next thing.

Let's move on to the next thing. I mean, people just take the, they suck the fun out of life, dude. Everything's so serious. Bradley Geck. I would love to see Aaron call and try to cancel his gym membership live on the podcast. Keep up the good work, folks. We should do it. We should.

Have you canceled it? No. No. live on the podcast keep up the good work folks we should do it we should feel we we should you have you canceled it no and then uh yeah i mean there's no way you know more than one person suggested this i think it's a good idea i think it's a good idea i think we do it we're posted uh on yeah maybe we could we yeah we need we should do it okay i'll do it whenever man yeah i i'm not i literally just keep forgetting until we talk about it. And I dread phone calls. Yeah. You know, I just dread them.

Yeah, because we can hook up like the phone call and stuff and all that. Yeah, yeah. All right, we'll do it. Try to do it next week. All right. He's already canceled on his podcast. Yeah. Yeah.

He'll reenact it for us. I'll do it. Yeah. So, all right. Sorry. A couple things that we've had happen recently

is we've noticed speaking of wiki, our Wikipedia pages have been updated. That's so great yeah mine

yeah yours on July 8th 2020 Bargetti started a podcast titled The Nate Land Podcast which is available on YouTube and Spotify

Bargetti co-hosts a lighthearted podcast with fellow comedians Brian Boo Boo Bear Bates and Aaron Like the Grill

Weber the podcast revolves around the three hosts picking a seemingly benign topic like calendars or weather and then spiraling hilariously downhill to the point where Nate usually declares the topic the worst they've ever chosen or declaring himself confused and incredulously asking his fellow co-hosts

questions about everyday things. The podcast has been touted as a show about nothing, and the hosts frequently make references inside jokes out of the TV sitcom Seinfeld in the office. A frequent tradition is for Nate to open the show with hello folks, deemed the official name for Nateland podcast followers. The first 30 minutes is usually dedicated to comments from viewers, listeners about the previous show. Typical comments are usually raves about the previous topic, people adding facts

or correcting the group, and most hilariously expressing their disdain for Bargetze, Bates, or Weber or the show as a whole. Bargetze famously stumbles through, famously, stumbles through reading the comments, usually ending up with some rant or comic bit

in the process. The show has received great critical acclaim with reviews doubling insightful and lighthearted as well as ridiculously funny. Recently, Weber was fan diagnosed with gout at the young age of 28. And his scary gout foot is now a running gag. And after having this name mistaken early in the series, Brian is now frequently, frequently referred to by the wrong name. First name often started with the letter B. He has affectionately been referred to as brisket,

barnacle, butterball, and even just worried baits. The latter referring to baits, generally worried, looking, resting face. My personal life, Bargetze currently resides in Mount Juliet, Tennessee,

at a home with no front door. He lives with his wife, Lorraine Baines Bargetze, daughter Tallulah, brother Wolf, and dog Macaroni Bargetze. Worf. Man, that's a That's a lot. That is great. That's funny.

That's a very Whoever did that, man. It's really, really good. Yeah. I mean, people We're going to send some people your way. Just go.

Go. You know, when they want to know just go. Yeah, just go read my Wikipedia. That describes it. I'm pretty on board with all of that. Yeah.

It kind of says it great great wharf is a call back to the very first episode yeah yeah lorraine baines bargetti lorraine baines bargetti i love it says every episode spirals downhill to the point where nate declares the topic the worst they've ever chosen that's right on quite a bit. It happened today, probably. Yeah, I mean, I'm hoping. I did want to, we were talking about eating out like eight the other day. This has nothing to do with anything except chives. These places got to chill out on these chives, man.

They're throwing it on everything. Everything. What happened? I had it on eggs. I mean, eggs. It's on these chives man they're throwing it on everything uh yeah everything what happened i had it on it i mean eggs it just is loaded with chives it's like i said eggs and extra chives and i ordered it thinking no chives and it looks like i asked for extra i don't my tomatoes no tomatoes no onions restaurant that i want to open but these the people throw chives around like it's you're gonna make it no chives to this restaurant well that's an onion is it yeah yeah isn't chives an onion i didn't know it was yeah it's an onion when i worked at the country club i throw chives

on everything that was part of my job as the expo guy yeah they give me the plate and like just add chives you just sprinkle some in yeah it's a impact, and it makes it look better, dude. So you just kind of add those. It doesn't make it look. A. It makes it look great. Where I'm going, there's not a design in the chives. It is just plumped on there.

If there's a heart around my eggs and chives, then we can talk. Yeah. But they are just thrown on there. Making a heart. But just adding some green to the plate does wonders. No one. For plate presentation. my eggs and chives then we can talk yeah but they're just thrown on there making a heart but just adding some green to the plate does wonders no one for plate presentation who's look come on dude what do we what are we at the nicest restaurant on earth no i'm talking about every day you have to say no tribes i swear i and i could i i think i've had chives i think someone

that shiesives on dessert before On ice cream I'm almost positive I did somewhere That I could be making up completely But in my head it happened Because they always get me I don't think to ask And now I've gotten better

I try to get better where I just go in and I always go no chives I know you We just act like it Dude chives were banned from this country uh not too long ago and one of the greatest times of my life the most free because there was an outbreak of something yeah and so that he just get rid of chives like a coli or something and i mean i ate out every day with just complete confidence i mean i felt like a normal person not having to say no i don't want any something i was

like yeah just bring it out as long as no chives are being thrown around yeah they throw chives and onion yeah an onion is a tasty it's it's it's not uh you know what is it parsley parsley is like that's what you put on that's like a show if you're if you want to bring the plate out to be nice where i worked man we did it with chives dude and that was like my main job was just to add chives to stuff so that's hilarious i'm surprised you didn't know that it was an onion i don't it's just green it's little circles that are green right yeah but it's an onion i never thought about what it is i know they're just there in a little bowl and i would just sprinkle them that's but you're just i know it's just insane to me that we're just throwing someone could order no onions and they still put chives on it.

Yeah. Because it's like just, oh, it's decoration. I don't need to, you know. I'm ordering the food. Yeah. I'm ordering eggs. I would like to eat the eggs. Yeah.

When you sit down. I don't think anybody's walked out of a restaurant. Because the plate looked. It was like, ugh. This looks pretty rough. Put like a. Lay a rose on the plate looked, it was like, ugh, this looks pretty rough. Put like a, lay a rose on the plate. I'd be fine with that. You want to do some plate presentation,

maybe don't do white plates, do a different color plate. How about that? But have you walked out of a restaurant because there were chives on your eggs? I don't go back. Oh, okay. All right. i know that they i look no one cares about this chive problem clearly no one's i just wanted to publicly get it out there no one cares everybody's just because you assume you're supposed to just be fed chives

is what you assume you're just like that's it is what it is you get chives they come with chives but it's it's like you don't – they don't say it in the description, so I don't know to not ask for it. Right. Yeah. It's just like, oh, yeah, we are just putting onions on everything, and it's a problem. I mean, it's a problem for me.

I don't like chives either. They put it on baked potato. Yeah. A lot of stuff. Yeah. Baked potato, you at least know that usually that kind of goes with – Yeah, that's part of a loaded baked potato. Yeah.

So it's like if you. But they throw it on stuff where you don't expect it. And then you're like, what are these doing? Do they throw it on pasta? Like, and they're just sprinkling. And it's just, you can't get that out. You can't get that out. I just try to pick it out.

And it's just, it's like, you know, it's like when Kramer's chewing gum in the dough that he made. Where it just gets mixed in. You're like, yeah. You're not getting it out. Yeah. Eggs are tough to scrape it off too. Yeah. Because then you get them over medium.

A little yolk, it's like surgery because you can't pop that yolk yet. Mm-hmm. So, all right. This is nothing to do. But I wanted to make a point. I'm hoping there's a change. It's a good segue to our topic because this guy had a job, chive placer. That's right, dude.

Yeah. Yeah. Today we were going to talk about jobs, kind of odd jobs that we've had. Yeah. Where'd you work at? I worked at a country club in Hendersonville called Bluegrass Country Club. Oh. You played golf there?

I did. My mid-am. I tried out for a mid-am tournament. Oh, yeah? At Bluegrassgrass i got a a hat from them i've wore it i'll wear it again but like uh they're yeah i did my mid-am tournament didn't make it i'm trying to do i'm trying to do real tournaments it was a very funny we do this mid-am tournament so if anybody doesn't know the and the other thing about golf we talk

about golf anybody you like i could go try to make the u.s open like you can go you can go qualify in these all these small open means right that's what open means yeah i mean there's no you know if you want to play in the nfl there you're not just like hey go try every year and but so golf they have like amateur tournaments mid amateur tournaments and so mid amateurs is you know i'm about that's where i'm at and you try to make a cut and then you go playing like the state mid-am you play like a full four round thing so i played in it uh last year i'm gonna try playing it every year i like it was so much fun it's real real golf real tournament you know the rules are all

birdied the first hole and then kind of crumbled after that uh but one guy we played with he shot so bad and i think he's a good golfer just wasn't going for him and uh i mean he was all over the place dude and the 10th we get on number 10 which is kind of by that restaurant and they got water on the par three he hits it into the sand goes in the water and then has to go back to the sand to place anyway then like i think goes in the water i to be in, like, an eight or nine on this par three. And then he just comes over to us and takes his hat off. He goes, all right, boys, I got a long drive ahead of me. I'm going to get out of here.

Which is the funniest way to put it. Like, he just quit. Like, he's like, this isn't happening. And just to go, I got a long drive ahead of me. Like, he was like, yeah. And you're like, I'm going to go. And he just left. And he just left after because it was like he was over.

Right. But it was very fun to do. But, yeah, I'm going to go. And he just left. And he just left after because it was like it was over. Right. But it was very fun to do. But yeah, that was your bluegrass. Well, they didn't let me anywhere near the golf course. Yeah. I worked at the kitchen, mostly as an expo food runner. What does that mean? So they get a ticket, and they prepare the whole plate.

And then it was my job to take the plates and put them on a big tray and then bring them out so i just kept track of what was going where yeah but the expo was also you did a lot of uh little things like add chives to stuff or yeah i've done you're standing in the the cooks are putting the stuff there i'm on the other side from the line cooks yeah i've just stacking everything that's a kind of a fun job you got to to take it, too? Or would you give it to someone else? Yeah, then I'd run it out to the restaurant. So you're an expo and runner. What does expo mean? Expodite.

Expodite, like get everything ready to be taken out. So the cooks are just putting the plate up there, and then you're going, and like, you know, I did it at Applebee's. And you just kind of look, and you go, all right, this is ready. You know, table 35, chicken, whatever, broccoli, chicken Alfredo, broccoli on the side. That's how I would do it. And I'm really just not eating it. I'm just ordering broccoli on the side just so my wife doesn't go,

we should get it because I'd rather just go, just leave it in the kitchen. So then you put the receipt on the bowl. Usually the server comes and gets it. Yeah. Or he's doing it all. Right. Which I imagine a country club is not as, it's not like an Applebee's. It's not like a restaurant where it says high volume.

No, not super high volume, but it's always funny. Well, I used to compare it to, the analogy i heard was like a a geese swimming on the on a pond yeah you know on the outside it looks very smooth and then you go under the water and it's chaos just to walk from like the the dining room with this country club back to the kitchen where it's just animals back there just everybody yelling and cursing and everything else yeah yeah that's a big saying where they do the like a duck and so don't show them all the hard work that you're doing right usually they do it for like more things than just be an expo at a restaurant that that analogy would be for you know a michael jordan tiger woods that's usually where someone says you know i mean it's like it's like people

hang that poster on the wall when they're trying to be a professional ballerina when they're six years old and their toes are bleeding and it's going don't show them all your hard work but i would imagine yeah also running food is a long well i was the michael jordan of expo you were i think you were very good at it. That's a big analogy. I mean, do you know that analogy? You only know that analogy from them at that restaurant? No. I mean, I'm just wondering.

That's the only thing I've used it for. You missed 100% of the shots that you take. Wayne Gretzky, Michael Scott, Aaron Weber. There's something we used to say at my country club, dude. We always said that grass is always greener on the other side yeah that would be very funny to only be called bluegrass bluegrass yeah the only the only uh all your references are just like all these things you're like where'd you hear that you're like ah this guy i used to work with you're like it's a big saying man like uh uh yeah it's what it rushed i did like that about waiting tables i love the idea of waiting tables it is it is the chaos of when you're like in the world it used to i used to

when you wait tables i was you know what everybody's eating that you're serving you kind of know where they're at you know that they probably need drinks now they probably need this and so it's like what's going on your head you couldn't even describe like describe it it's your just brain is just like going and it is inside the kitchen is nuts yeah screaming yelling all this stuff and then you go outside it's like hello like you know and you're presenting yourself right say my favorite part of that job i'm just remembering this my favorite part of the job is the upper level of bluegrass you're not allowed to wear shorts yeah this is a country club so i got to kick we got to take turns kicking people out that were wearing shorts and that was like the most fun you could you loved it it was the most it was the only moment where you had any power at that place yeah you know you're just

an idiot with like a black tux on standing there and then some dude would wear and have like flannel shorts on and you have to walk up and tell him to leave it was so great dude i remember this guy had green flannel she had just got done playing golf so he just came up to eat and i had to walk up and go excuse me sir only long pants are permitted up here he's like these are 180 dollars yeah well you go down to our pro shop you can get some long pants down there. It was like the one thing we had. So when you saw somebody with shorts, you're like, oh, this is going to be a good day.

Yeah. So you enjoyed it. Yeah. Yeah. Especially because I was an expo. I wasn't getting tips from these people. If I were a server, I would have been more delicate about it. But like a 19-year-old kid with no money, you get to go tell these guys.

These rich guys. Exactly. You get to tell them they have to leave. It feels pretty good. They could go eat downstairs in shorts. Yeah, they could go eat at the card room or whatever downstairs. On the parking lot. Yeah.

Hey, buddy, you got to get out. There's a Cap'n D's open across the street. You got to take your dumb legs over there. Or you can go buy some pants. You're just ruthless with these guys. Hey, Mr. Johnson, there's an Arby's that's about to close if you want to take those hot legs over there.

Otherwise, if you want any of what we're doing in here, let's class it up a little bit. We need you and your white calves to get out of here right now. Yeah. I need you and your black socks to beat it. You know what I mean? I worked at a golf course. I worked at Hermitage Golf Course when my first job. Opryland, also Opryland Theme Park and Hermitage were my first two when you're young jobs.

And we lived down the street from, well, Hermitage Golf Course, we could never have played there. Growing up, it was expensive to play there. But then there's all these trees and then that street we lived on. So I could walk down our street and then cut through these trees to get to the golf course and uh it made me look like just like a poor person's entrance into this golf you know like how we got to go in just like through like i'm going like under a fence and thorns and then you're like hey she's in a parking lot and uh so i worked at hermits golf course and i would we did uh we do driving

range pick up the balls cleaning carts i loved it i get the idea there's a lot of retired guys that uh work at uh golf courses and i get it i get it like they're just retired you know it's not like they need a really any giant income coming in just they like to golf they like to be around golf and i mean, I totally get it. You just get carts. You kind of help people out. You like helping people out, telling them what to do. Like, it's fun.

And we worked there at the driving range. But I remember our driving range cart at Hermitage, when we would pick it up, the carts – so usually it's metal fences all around you because people are hitting golf balls, you know, and while you're driving around. But the back of our thing wasn't metal. It was a net, and the net wasn't tied down to anything.

So if a ball hit it, it just comes in. I mean, it doesn't fall. It stays in the net, but it just hits you. So you would just be getting hit all the time. would have to make turns quick yeah because you just couldn't because you're like i'm gonna get drip they're trying to hit you too right yeah yeah yeah i mean i like i don't i that's a i don't try to hit the cart now really anymore i feel like it's a younger man's once you get older you kind of get over it but yeah you got some young kids. I mean, that's all they're trying to do. Like, you just watch their body turn wherever you go.

And they're trying to act like they're not. But you're like, I see you moving. I see you going, he's right. I mean, no one is practicing that range going, I'm going to go to the right side and the left side the whole time. They kind of pick a flag, and that's where they're hitting at. And they're just trying to drill you, and you just – and when it hits, dude, you don't see it.

It just – and it just kind of goes. There's another driving range in Hermanns. They put a car out there. Yeah. Which I thought was a pretty good idea. Yeah, I've been to that one. Yeah.

Just set a real car. Just put it in the middle of the driving range, and people just aim at that car, which is kind of – and that kind of distracts. That's like the red flag with the bull. If're picking up range balls you just got something else out there for all these maniacs to hit at uh but i worked yeah i worked there uh we had one cart break almost went in the water the lake that's fun uh we're trying to pull it up down the brakes went out now it's one of the stupider you know i do stupid things but just dumb 16 year old the brake yeah like the it ran out of juice and so it

was down at the bottom of this hill so we're trying to pull it up and there's a lake and so we tied just like a hose from one cart to the other hose yeah and then both got in the first car and drove which is like why do you not one of us stay in the other hose. Yeah. And then both got in the first car and drove, which is like, why do you not want to stay in the other car to be just press the brake? But you know, you're just 16. And so we both just get in the other car. And then of course it breaks because it's a hose and it's running down the

hill and I have to run next to it. And I get the wheel turn just enough to hit a tree. Otherwise it was just right in the water. I mean, just in the water. Yeah. tree. Otherwise, it was just right in the water. I mean, just in the water. Yeah, yeah. I loved it. It was a fun job to have at that age, man.

Yeah, it's a perfect – Yeah, it's a job that I – Yeah, I wish I would have stayed at it longer than I did. I mean, I was like 16. They used to have the LPGA out there, and Hermitage, and I would carry the scorecard for that and stuff that's cool sarah lee classic sarah lee classic yeah yeah so i mean i always walked there it was like it was it was great and so we would do that and then i worked at opryland i've never had real jobs like i worked one sales i worked in one office building uh and we were on a sales team and we would make sales calls and they

moved me down to the mail room and all my buddies stayed up in the top so usually the mail you move up from the start for the mail start from the mail room and go to the top and i was at the top and then went to the bottom i mean i remember riding in the elevator and then they open and they go you all just work down here and i went in the bottom i mean i remember riding in the elevator and then they open and they go you all just work down here and i went in the mail guy's like how you doing like and then i just went and worked with him and where was this at uh lifeway yeah uh i used to when i it was like out of high school and you were supposed to do and just sales calls yeah and i just wasn't good at it so they they they go all right and they moved me down

to the mailroom and i wrote i remember right it was a long elevator down i mean you're going the mailroom you know mailroom's not on floor 19 you're going below where the below b yeah you're going what down here? That's where the mail comes in. And you're going to be delivering it. And all my friends are at the top. Oh, man. Were you reading scripts for the sales calls? I think so.

I don't even really remember, but I think so. It was like reading scripts or whatever it was. But I just wasn't doing it. I'd love to see you do that. Yeah. Hello, please welcome or please call something I don't know I don't even know you asked him over the phone how to pronounce the word

yeah how you doing neighbor getsy uh I'm gonna come at you how do you feel about this word how would you say this I'm trying to think

what's like a nice big word like to Neanderthal Neanderthal like just to go you know these aren't the n e i just start spelling it they're like what's that you go what's that word they go neanderthal go these aren't those times anymore uh yeah i was that could be a good selling call just to start

spelling a word if you just throw them off they they're like, what's that? Yeah. Do sales calls still work? People call. You know, they call your phone all the time. Does that work? That was my last job before I quit and went full-time stand-up was doing that. I made zero sales in all the time that I worked at this company. But I made hundreds and hundreds of phone calls, cold calls to people. And I never could get good at it because I'm sitting there thinking,

if I were this guy, I'd be so annoyed that this dude's calling me. Yeah. So I started to try to be like, hello. And I go, hey, this is Aaron with this company. I'd love to just talk about what you got going on over there. The guy's like why i'm like maybe maybe see you know i could sell you anything he's like no we're not interested i just couldn't figure out how to frame it you know that's just it's just i'm not some people are good at that yeah to just cold call

people i i could never separate myself the company i worked at they were even like just say a different name if you want. And just like get in character. And I was like, I can't do that. Separating yourself is a good way to put it. That is, I can't do that either. Like you can't, yeah, there's a lot of people that can like, oh, I do like a different accent. Like it's fun to them to be this character.

And I can't, separate yourself is a very, there's a good analogy. That sounds like something out of the back of a restaurant and that's a really good analogy you can't separate yourself because that's all

I ever felt with all this stuff I'm me so whatever I'm it's not a made up person asking you it's me

and I feel like you're going to be like you feel like the person's going to be like come on Aaron you know I don't want to do this and you go i know dude they're making me i'm sorry i should never i feel bad like that's what you feel i always wanted to say that on a phone call like listen dude like i just i have to make this call i don't want i don't care i don't

want to you know yeah you can't do that i would be the worst at sales i've never done it because i know i'd be bad i don't want to Did you have any jobs? What was your weird... You worked at Channel 5, but you haven't bounced around a lot. My first job in high school... I've had jobs that aren't odd. They're odd to think I did them. I worked at a trucking company.

I worked for tobacco farmers. Did you really? What did you do at the tobacco farm? Every level of tobacco from planting it to cutting it to harvesting it really yeah well these were different times back then well they were yeah i just can't see you working on a farm well i mean no offense i grew up in the country and my summer like in the summer of college, I would just help these farmers out doing tobacco. I feel like someone just went to your dad.

Someone just sees you, like this silhouette of you out there, and be like, that's nice. You got his daughter out there helping him. And your dad's like, that's my boy. I couldn't keep up. You're right about that. The setting part's fun. First, you set the tobacco plants, and that's kind of fun.

You sit on the back of a tractor and they have this and you just sit back there and you and a buddy and this wheel goes around you take turns planning the put it in this wheel and the wheel puts it in the ground yeah it's kind of fun you just get back there and hang out and talk and do it do you work with friends yeah but it's oh yeah yeah yeah. These are guys I knew growing up. Yeah. I got fired from my first job. Really? Trucking company, yeah. What happened?

Well, I wasn't fit for blue-collar work. The blue-collar world? Trucking company. I mean, my job was to watch these guys. You were doing a lot of gasping at all the stuff you were hearing? They had me move one of the trucks, one of the 18-wheelers. Oh, boy. And that's not easy when you don't know what you're doing. Yeah.

I backed it in, and I hit like a bus. Yeah. And, I mean, I wasn't a good employee anyway, probably. And I think this was just a way for them to fire me. How old were you at this point? I was in high school. Oh, man. A high school kid to move a truck like that?

Yeah. I think it was probably between my junior and senior year. Did other kids do it, though? A buddy of mine, my best friend, got me on there, working there. I was making like $3.75 an hour or something like that. I think I remember making $4.25 maybe. It was my first minimum wage job. But then they didn't fire me that day.

But the next day I came in and the guy called me in his office. And I had to go in early, like at 6 a.m. And he called me in his office and he fired me. And I just had to drive home. And my parents, like they ain't left for work yet. And I got home and they're like, what are you doing home? I had to tell them I got fired. It crushed me.

It was like the worst thing ever to have to tell my parents i got fired from my first job so yeah not a good start no that's hilarious i did all like trucking kind of i've never i've driven like box trucks my buddy we worked at uh hunter's delivery and we would deliver all these um i'd have to drive trucks there and uh which we scraped the top so the top of a truck like a box truck is a aluminum and so like you would drive in some of these driveways down the middle of nowhere and like you have a tree you got to avoid the trees and uh i'm kind of like you'd hear them sometimes they would sometimes they would just kind of go over it you just hear like a little bit of a noise,

and so I'm hearing that as we're backing up, and I'm like, you know, you just go, I don't know. Hopefully nothing, and then so we drive to downtown, actually, a block over, first down there from where that bomb went off, and we're delivering a thing up there, and we get this guy. I go to open the door and deliver this mattress and right when i open it it opens up about a foot and it won't move and i see sunlight inside the truck and i'm like oh no and i look and i mean it is just the whole top's ripped open

just trees inside of it i mean i just wrecked the entire truck and then so we have to like get the thing kind of barely open to then get the mattress to deliver it so then we get up there and the guy i remember he goes oh we're like man this apartment's nice he goes oh you got to come check the view out and we go out to look at the view and just look down and i just see the top of that truck and i was just gone it was just gone the home of the top of it was just ripped open so you drove underneath the tree and it just took it off yeah yeah it just it scraped on top of it yeah and so like something caught in but it's like an aluminum yeah so it's not like this real thick yeah and it just ripped it peeled it back like nothing that was my as like odd jobs like that was a very fun job that i had where uh i don't i

remember i always say that i would go if i you know when comedy falls apart but like if i didn't do comedy and i had another job like starting a delivery company my buddy jimmy hunter did it and he i always liked that like he always worked for himself. We did a bunch of different stuff. We delivered for Sears for a little bit. We did Lowe's. You did a lot of odd things, and it put you in a lot of funny situations, which I just loved. I loved doing them. I've been to a pagan wedding.

Have I talked about all this stuff? No. I've been to a pagan wedding before because of the Hunter's's delivery me and jimmy were he got he was going to do some delivering he would have all these trucks and he so had a contract with lowes and so they were doing it lexington kentucky so we would drive to lexington and we went up there and we were training the guys that were going to start driving the trucks and then we would have came back and so we're training these guys and we meet this one kid. He's 18.

He's marrying a – we meet his wife. He said he was engaged, about to get married, and she's 44 years old, and he's 18. And so it's just not good. And when you meet her and the relationship of all, you can just tell it's not good. You're like, yo, man, you're 18. Yeah, what are you doing?

Don't get married to you know she's 44 her you know it's like just you got so many you're so young just be don't do this and uh but he's you know he doesn't care like so he wants to do it so i mean we don't even know this guy we've been we've kind of been working with him for a week he invites us to his wedding and we're like you know all right i guess we gotta go you know we're like i don't i mean we don't even know his last name we don't know him yeah and so we go all right we're gonna go and so we're i remember forget me and me and uh jimmy are driving to uh driving to the pagan wedding and a train we get stuck by behind a train and so we he calls him

uh and says hey you know we're like just go ahead and do the wedding like we're not gonna we're a train just stopped and i do and they go we're gonna wait for you and you know you want to just be like we don't know you yeah just start the wedding but it's a guy that's like i'm sure people know these kind of guys i don't think they really have any family or who you you know, it's like, if you come in their life at all, you're in their life. And then,

you know, it's a big deal to be at someone's wedding to be like, I don't know this person. Yeah. And so we get there and the weddings, uh, this it's pagan. She's pagan.

I don't really know what pagan is. What does that mean? I think it's like nature. Like what was different about the wedding is, I mean, a lot of, I mean, the fact that 44 and 18, I don't know. They're just saying not typical Christian things. Pagan was the least weird thing about the wedding, it sounds like. Isn't pagan like wildlife? It's like polytheistic.

Yeah, whatever. I still don't know what it is. I knew I wasn't comfortable with it. I knew at this point I'm like, I've never heard of this. They might as well. They could have said anything. And so we go out to this park and we walk over. Their friend's doing it.

And we all stand. At one point, oh, they asked me to film it. So I'm filming it, the wedding, which is insane. So I get their camera and now I've got to film the wedding. Was there a lot of people there? No. Yeah. And 15.

Okay. And so I'm filming the wedding and so I'm going around filming it if I could ever. It'd be great. So we're filming it and then he puts us all in a circle and then he starts making some kind of chanting and going around the circle, you know? And so then now we're getting pretty uncomfortable like and now i'm like well i don't know this is and uh i'm kind of like i'm trying to get back i'm trying to back out of the circle like i don't want i don't want some you know circle curse made on me and i was inside of it yeah and so i'm trying to like break it like and just be like i gotta film so i need to back off

a little bit and so i remember i'm filming him go around the circle. And then I go and I film my buddy Jimmy. And I mean, I had to move off of him because Jimmy's looking at me. He goes, what is going on? Like, and so their whole wedding video is just Jimmy being like, what is this? And like, and so I just kind of moved off him because I thought, well, I don't want, I don't want to make fun of their wedding day. But we are not thrilled with what's going on.

And so then they got married and we went to, I think, Applebee's or Chili's. Bought them, you know, took them all to eat. Jimmy bought all their meals and stuff. Jimmy was a great guy. Like he was like, that's where, I mean, he is a great guy like he was like that's where uh i mean he is a great guy uh but he he's a he was a very friendly guy and a very i i think i have some of i learned stuff from him like he was a very like guy he took him out to eat afterwards i'm paying for all this at your wedding like that kind of like no don't you pay like i got like that kind of like attitude like

always taking people with him. I met him at Applebee's. He came to Applebee's when me and Laura were working there. And he would always sit there. Like, they would always come there and drink beers after they got done. And so they all sit at this one round table. And I ended up working with him for a long time. I still talk to him.

Like, he comes to shows. And we – I mean, I worked with him. Like, I met him at that table. Like, he's a guy like that, that's like, this guy, you know what, come,

you should come and work for me, like that kind of niceness, and just, it's, yeah, it just was, I don't know, it was great,

and it was like, I always loved that, he just always like finding his own thing to do, and had these trucks, and would have to do it, I mean, we would deliver to, I mean,

delivering, I mean, deliver to my one ghost story, I've to do it. I mean, we would deliver to, I mean, delivering, I mean, deliver to my one ghost story. I've talked about this sometimes on stage, but my one ghost story is we go to this old house in Belmont, around the Belmont area, kind of Nashville area, and we're delivering this old house. It's a twin mattress.

Me and my buddy Jamie Mueller, and we, I'm standing in the back of the truck. We go up, knock on the door, and the guy's not coming to the door. But I can see, since I'm standing in the back of the truck. We go up, knock on the door and the guy's not coming to the door, but I can see I'm since I'm standing on the truck, that's up higher. I can see inside the guy's house and I'm seeing like a silhouette walking back and forth. And I'm like, the dude's right there. And I'm a dude, it's a silhouette. It's I'm watching a human being walk back and forth.

And I'm like, he, I was like, I don't know how this guy's not hearing us. Ring the doorbell, knock on the door. It's insane. And he's just walking back forth. And so we go to leave. We put it, you put a note and we're like,

whatever. And so we go to leave and the guy comes to the door and he's a towel. He's in it. He's got a towel on and he's wet. And he said, I was in the shower. And I just was like, I don't believe like,

I, you know, I was like, it's such a weird thing to say you were doing i was watching you walk around and then my jamie goes in and delivers the mattress and he goes uh jamie just says hey this seems like an old house you know he's like oh yeah he goes this house was on unsolved mysteries there's a ghost that lives here i'm surprised you didn't see him and so then that made me think i was like like, that's what I was seeing. And like what I say in the joke on stage,

it was like, that was either. I was seeing a ghost, which happened. Or the other, only other thing that could have happened was that guy walks around his house in a towel, doesn't answer the door when people are knocking on it,

but you can still see him. And then right before you leave, he pours water on his head and lies to you and says, I was in the shower, which I don't know which one I would want it to be. I like both of those things. That's my joke. Cause I would like,

I would love both of those things. That we got shot at, got caught in a drive-by shooting. I think I was about, this all might be stuff I'm trying to talk about on stage coming up just so everybody knows but we delivered this old mattress in like Nashville

I mean a refrigerator we were doing a refrigerator this time and I remember we delivered this old lady who was a dead cat behind the refrigerator so we moved it and there's just a cat there and she goes oh that's where that cat's been she was super old I think was kind of not all there and there's a dead cat that she just thought ran away and it was dead behind the refrigerator and then we put the new refrigerator

in just back over it because we don't we're not a dead cat remover. We just feel like, and they're like, eh, just kind of put it back. And you're like, I don't know. You know what I mean? And then we, we, we go, we're driving and we make a turn and we're driving back up this other

street. And we hear, we hear like pop, pop, pop, pop. And I remember seeing a kid in front of us and he took off running. I thought he set off fireworks.

Cause he was like bent down in the street. It looked like he lit firecrackers and then just took off running. And he he took off running. I thought he set off fireworks because he was like bent down in the street. It looked like he lit firecrackers and then just took off running and he just took off running. And we're like, what is that? And we like look in the mirror and there's a, the car is pulled up to a house behind us and just like, they're just lighting up this house. And so they're just shooting this house and then we're in a truck and we're kind of, you know, it's a big truck.

And so we're kind of blocking the road and they shoot truck, and it's a big truck, so we're blocking the road, and they shoot at us. It goes through the back of the truck, a bullet, and comes out to the top of the truck where I'm sitting, right over my head. Maybe, I don't know, this big. What is that, four feet, three feet? Three feet above my head bullet comes out so they shot us so we pull over and then they we watched them take off and then just uh and like run a red light they had to get out of there where was this uh nashville like broadway i mean like not, not Broadway. If you got off Church Street, like, you know, left Church,

not downtown Church Street, but you make a left, like I feel like back in those, back in that area over there. That's crazy. Yeah. Did you ever see the guy again who got married? No. So you have no idea if that marriage worked out? I mean, I would be blown away would be blown away yeah if it did i

hope it did i mean she would be in her 60s and he's he would be he's got to be a little bit younger me i was probably 20 yeah i mean i might have been 21 or 22 and so and he's 18 yeah so i mean she's 60 64 yeah 64 yeah 67 like I mean you know and he's just and he's 38 oh my gosh

man and he wasn't marrying her for money I tell you I mean it wasn't you know yeah yeah

the 15 person pagan wedding yeah I'll let you know actually I've never smoked or dipped in my life but i did get nicotine poisoning from working in tobacco yeah yeah we were uh when the cutting the tobacco

one time and it rained a lot and the leaves were really really wet and we'd worked out in the field all day and we got done we went home our super boys me and the guys were doing with and we're gonna go out that night and i just started feeling sick i was like oh my god i started throwing up and then i called one of them and said hey man i'm not gonna make it i don't know what's wrong with me i'm sick or something he's like we're all sick and it affected all of us somehow it got in our our pores or something it seeped in our pores the wet leaves or something and they just i mean that's our diagnosis nicotine poisoning but it was the guy in charge who said that so i was like i

guess he knows what he's talking about hmm did you feel great for a little bit and then he felt sick i just remember yeah what are some other odd job stuff that you've looked up um online dating ghostwriter 24 an hour for this so you i'm sure you've never done online dating no no i never i never ever done well i'm a professional online dater no more but i was yours is a rare success story um for online dating right i mean well success story i don't know if it's rare but you think most of them don't work out? I think the overwhelming majority of them don't. Yeah. We'll see.

We'll see what happens. But anyway. It was like the Cubs winning a World Series when he did it, when he got married. He's been playing that. They've just seen Brian. They were just like. They hung him up.

That's how people were rooting for them like the cubs you know what i like to just see them win more yeah i'll tell you that well i have that joke i mean i've been on social on those dating sites since the beginning my username on e-harmony is just brian yeah is it because i was the first one um but do you remember hearing about dating apps first and were you like whoa how did you hear about them because this is before tv and stuff right radio ads i'm kidding yeah right how did you yeah how did you uh television i guess yeah just a tv ad it's a whole new thing you can date online now yeah i think so i just remember when the dot-com boom just took off and just do you remember that just everything's just yeah everything was like a website i remember making my first comedy

website uh yeah like when you had to just do you just make it yourself yeah and it was like you had a website i built websites as a kid yeah i had a creed fan website oh yeah and a pod fan website you know the band pod uh i don't know what does it stand for is it oh payable on death they had some big songs yeah here comes the boom here comes oh yeah when i was like nine or ten and pod because their their actual band name is payable on death i mean let's just i was going through a phase too let's use pod that's why they did pod that is right who's up next payable on death oh god that's a right you're not gonna be successful if you don't do we'll just go by pod you're like okay yeah yeah can we change it what it's the stands for They're a good band Party of dance

Still around I think they're still around Yeah They're still doing That kind of Musical tastes have changed I love Creed Yeah

Creed's awesome man I'm a huge Creed fan I think he lives here Scott Staff I met him once Yeah At Zany's Oh yeah

Yeah he came to Burt Kreischer's show Yeah And he came back In the green room, and I shook his hand. He goes, hey, I'm Scott. And I didn't realize at the time that's who it was. I just go, hey, I'm Aaron. Nice to meet you.

And he left, and Burt Kreischer goes, you know that's Scott Stapp, right? And I was like, you've got him. I had a website. I was nine. I had myownprison.com. Dude, what's my fan website? You had a Creed fan club? I had a Creed fan website.

Was it like a mock one? No, it was nine, dude. It was like the coolest band I was allowed to listen to as a kid. I still think they're kind of awesome. We're getting to this. You gasping is making more and more sense every day. It's just the stuff that all leads up to it of being a child that gasps. Stuff that all leads up to it of being a child that gasps.

I mean, it all makes, like, the pieces are just lining up. Like, yeah, yeah, you did. Yeah. I loved Creed. Yeah. So I'm a big fan. I love Nickelback, too. Everybody always actually don't like them.

They're doing real good. They're selling out arenas. Arenas. Yeah. They're doing great. And every song is like, it's a great song. I'm not a good music guy anyway that's what i was i love nickelback but i didn't see like i know all these musicians now they get mad like you know i don't know why i guess because it's what is it vanilla music is that the idea that's why people don't like it well it's like there are comedians where if somebody were like this is my favorite comedian you'd be like yeah all right dude you know it's the same thing same kind of thing yeah

but there's but i would be like i get why they're successful i say that if i don't i get why they're as big as they are uh-huh but what what he said what is the reason people don't like them uh i think they're they're people started to think that their music was super repetitive and just sort of formulaic and kind of cheesy, white angst became the narrative around it. I think they unfairly kind of got a lot of that pressure. Like it was fun to just... And it just became a joke.

It's like Dane Cook. It's exactly like Dane Cook, where you're like, why are you really making all these jokes? I mean, you can't deny how good they are, how successful they are. It just became a joke. Yeah. If enough people like it. And then, yeah.

Yeah, Dane Cook got that. I never liked that. I do distinctly remembering, because I was doing comedy. It was like Family Guy made a joke about Dane Cook and everybody kind of switched and then it all turned into like, oh, that's all just trash Dane Cook. And it was kind of gross to me

because it was like, you guys liked him. Now you don't like him because you're being bullies. Everybody became a bully. Like that, you know, all of you turned. It was the great, he's selling out all these arenas. He can do no wrong. And then it became cool to hate on the guy. That doesn't make sense to me.

That's kind of gross. Yeah. It's like a kid building something with blocks. They build it up just so they can knock it down. Yeah, just so they can go. Yeah, the same magazines were like a year ago. Like he's great to now he's terrible. Well, nothing's changed.

Right. Except you're trying to be cool or stay relative. Yeah. All right. But online dating? Oh, well, we can go back to that. But basically, if you ever online date,

all the profiles look very similar. They all kind of say the same thing. You're trying to say things that you think the person wants to hear. But there's writers that you can hire to spice up your online to be funny to do i kind of did that i took the george cassandra the opposite approach oh yeah it wasn't

working so i'm just gonna go have fun with it and did it and then yeah the opposite of everything yeah just yeah started trying to be funny on it and saying different stuff to try to stand out yeah so and you feel like that's when it worked yeah yeah right because i mean not everybody like everybody doesn't enjoy going rock climbing right long walks on the beach all that kind of stuff stuff like that yeah who we could we're not we're not going long walks on yeah because you have to i'm allergic to sand you know it's the night you know just that kind of just that kind of oh no i was getting my eye my eyes feel dry did you delete all of your y'all delete them together like when dave ramsey cuts credit cards up uh once we got married yeah yeah we didn't delete them together but we both

deleted them of Of course. I get my password just in case something went wrong. Do you miss it? You're kind of like looking into people's lives. Yeah. Do you miss that aspect of it? I mean, I still go back occasionally. Well, again, just check, see what's going on there.

Just see what's happening. You don't know. You could be like, I'm hot right now, baby. They're coming after me. Get off the market. I remember like, because you had a- Do they put like, when you get married, do they put an X with, you know, like when someone's dead?

Over their eyes. When they're wanted. When America's Most Wanted, when he dies, and they put that for online dating, like you're gone. Maybe. Maybe. They should. You don't know. Your picture should stay up there just to float around and be like.

It's working. That should be the goal, right? Yeah, it's working. And then. Yeah. Yeah. Well, if it doesn't, then you're, you know. That's true.

I remember, like, they said, list three things you're you know that's true i remember like they said list three things you're looking for in your mate and i put someone uh who accepts me accepts me for me someone who is you know that's not superficial or something like that yeah someone with big boobs. Oh, yeah. Stuff like that. Yeah. Just for fun. Yeah. That's great. Computer hacker. Computer hackers make $100,000 a year.

Companies hire computer hackers to legally break into their network to find weaknesses to help prevent real hackers from getting in. Yeah. My uncle does this for a living. Really? In Huntsville for the Army. Yeah, he leads a team where they launch campaigns against the military to hack them. Yeah. And he said, you want to know what's scary?

They have a 100% success rate of hacking the government. So what could they do? So they'll just decide as a team. My understanding is they'll just get together and they'll go, let's try to. Are you supposed to be saying all this stuff, by the way? I'm not going to. I don't know. Give his name out. They'll go, well, this is

a potential weakness. Let's try to hack in and exploit this. And they'll do it. It's almost, they don't know what... They're not working with the Army to know, so they just come in separately. It's almost like an offensive defense are playing against each other. We don't know what plays they're not working with the Army to know, so they just come in separately. It's like almost like an offensive defense are playing against each other.

Yeah. We don't know what plays they're going to run. Right. But, yeah. Right, where my uncle's team would be the offense and the government, yeah, the defense. And they would score a touchdown every time. Yeah.

So it's a little scary. Yeah. And how fun is that? That's got to be a fun job. He loves it. It's like the perfect job for that kind of guy, you know, if you just grow up loving computers. I mean, your job is to be a hacker man yeah yeah it's a very fun job i mean it's very cool and yeah you're gonna be a hacker and then you're gonna do you're

gonna do the government and you're gonna do it under you're not gonna go to jail yeah you're yeah you know yeah that's like if you were hired to be a bank you know the bank robbers do banks hire people to try to break into their bank i'm sure they do yeah i'm sure they you were hired to be a bank you know the bank robbers do banks hire people to try to break into their bank i'm sure they do yeah i'm sure they do to just to let them know about their their weaknesses where the holes are yeah you know is everyone in your family good at computers uh no not everybody i have a lot of them though my older brother was very good growing up. He taught me how to do the websites and stuff. Yeah. Hand model? George Costanza.

I don't know if I – I always think I've batted. Now after – I had very good hands. Laura always talked about my hands. Yours used to be too orange. Well, they used to be orange. They should not – hopefully not now. That was the middle of golf season. But now my hands are pretty beat up from golf.

So now they're back to just real beat up. A hand model can make up to $75,000 a year. Is that what, George Costanza was a hand model. Yeah. Was that what had been his check? No. He always thought he got a big check. This woman, professional hand model,

says she once made $13,000 for two hours of work yeah that's what i imagine george yeah but at what cost you know um having to protect your hands like that all the time yeah having to wear gloves i mean it depends if uh it's that crazy lady that you found is who you're talking about this woman i don't know if she's crazy but she does wear gloves and she says she got on the subway once and a lady with a ring cut her hand and she couldn't work for a couple weeks. She used to wear gloves all the time. I mean, that's a lady. What's crazy is that story, someone cutting your hand with a ring on a subway,

you're like, well, that only happens to a hand model. I've never been near a situation where I thought that could happen. Yeah. And it's funny to be like, it happened to the only person that – like that's a story that I go, well, I don't know if I believe it. Yeah, she made it up. I don't know if I believe it right now. Yeah. A lady cut your hand.

You know, I would want to know more. Yeah. She's a competitor in the hand modeling business. Yeah. Gotta be. It's just, dude, you can't shake people's hands. I mean, I guess you can't do that now. I bet they're living well now.

Yeah. During COVID, but. They're looking for long, straight fingers with no lumpy knuckles, lines, or scars. And an even skin tone. You do have pretty good. I have good hands. You got a nice looking hands. How do yours look, Brian?

Not that good. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Yeah, I have good hands. I could be a hand. I could do it. If I just quit golfing, all the blisters and that kind of stuff would go down.

Yeah, callous fingers. Be a hand model and get out of this game. Focus group participants, they make between $50 and $400 to be a focus group. Oh,

so if you do it every, oh, that's what they, yeah, so they, if you're for food and for, they did it for our TV show. Yeah. They have – yeah.

They show the TV show and they have a – I didn't see it. They have a knob. And so they turned down like I guess like less likely one to ten. Like when are you interested in the show? Yeah. Not as much now. I'm feeling like it's crazy. They say –

Did you watch those results? No. I could have. And they go, it's not worth it. Yeah. It's not worth going. It's like just hear what the Did you watch those results? No. I could have, and they go, it's not worth it. It's not worth going. It's like just hear what the results – because it's – you want to just run through the glass. What are you not getting?

I mean, you know, I honestly think that kind of idea of testing is like there's no way that works. You're asking the same people. And so someone that knows how to do those focus groups that's how they're making money like this so they're they're just going to do every one and it's like they become it's not i don't feel like it's honest it's kind of like yeah what do you do here and they're like oh i know what to do just say when you like it when you don't like it like they've kind of become a critic like in a weird way and it's uh i i can't i mean look i'm saying this

because our show didn't go but it's i don't think it didn't go because of that yeah i think we did okay uh and the networks are kind of aware of it they know that it's like kind of taking the grain of salt i mean i was in salt i remember i was in salt lake city when i got a call uh and they did and they're telling me something about the focus group. Yeah, yeah. And I forget what our number was. I feel like I was getting, it could have been bad. Maybe it was worse than that because no one was really telling me.

Now that I think back on it, I never got really straight answers. And I bet it was bad. Yeah. How are they looking? I mean, they're looking. It's good. We're not bad. It's where everybody else is. That's what they they say we're no different than anybody else yeah seinfeld got they though

like seinfeld got a this yeah you know and you're like oh okay and like so they just tell you that stuff you've done focus groups right i have yeah just for money every now and then i got i the service i subscribe to they send me emails every now they're looking for males 18 to 34 who do this or brush their teeth every day or something i don't know yeah so you can go in and do those and get money i had went through some uh dark times in college i had no money sold plasma yeah and i went to that pond a bunch of my stuff what happened i just your college kid he said you have no money you my stuff. What happened? I just, you're a college kid. You have no money. You just blow it all every weekend like an idiot.

You're drinking 36 beers a night. So that's expensive. Well, yeah. So I did. Yeah. So I do, you know, you can do focus groups like that and make like 50 bucks for like an hour. It's not a bad deal.

Have you sold plasma before? I haven't, but I knew that was, I remember it was in the realm of something I was going to try. Yeah. I mean, I just was like, I don't know if I can do that. You can make like 75 bucks your first time. What's the difference between plasma and blood? I don't know. Oh.

I don't know. I have no idea. I have no idea what it is. It's the same thing, like the same process, though. Oh. At least go draw blood from it. Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

But you make like $75 your first time. I i think it comes out so you can go once every other does it comes out silver and it's a little chunkier that was just aaron that's what i feel that was just me that's what pictured in my head when you go get plasma and you're like what's that it's like some weird yeah it's like green it's great glowing yeah and you're like oh but then you can make 50 bucks every other other time you do it so it's not a bad and you can do that you can do that more than blood i think i think so because it's like every couple weeks maybe you can do it huh yeah you did a few times i did in college yeah i was struggling there at the end. Yeah. You don't have a ton of plasma right now as we speak. All right?

You've given a lot of it up. Do you have to call him and tell him that you have gout now? Do you have to call back? I would let him know in the screening process now. No, but you need to go tell him, go, hey, guys, I know you haven't used my plasma, but I have a pretty big gout problem. Dude, I hope I didn't have gout when i was 21 if i've secretly had gout yeah for eight years that would be embarrassing yeah well i mean you're only 28 i mean it's embarrassing to have it now yeah but imagine if i've had it for a decade yeah

like if i said i hope i didn't have it at 21 you're still in your 20s i mean you're like god can you imagine if i had it just a couple years ago i mean it's there's that's fair did we ever get checked out for gout gone no people keep telling me too oh my mom texted me and said eat a jar of cherries are you serious yeah did you hear that have you ever heard that no uh look up cherries like in gout there's there's got to be yeah she said you eat uh and i could be saying at least 10 cherries per day reduced the risk of gout attacks by 35 a combination of cherries and i don't know a lot prurinol, medication often taken to reduce uric acid, reduced the risk of gout attacks by 75%. Wow.

It makes sense his mom would maybe know that. She probably never had to tell someone who's 29. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think I have gout, dude. I looked it up. I don't think that's what it is. But I should probably look at it.

No, I think you're handling it the right way. Look it up on your own. Ask people that listen at home. And then do nothing about it. You're trying to do nothing about it is what you're trying to do. You don't want to do anything. So you keep going, I think it's fine. And you just want it to go away.

You're right. Is it gone away? Yeah, I haven't had it since i thought someone's doctor's appointment somebody did but i but now it's on me to call and get that scheduled everyone's last physical yet i mean high school yeah come on just call them and go do it yeah which wasn't too long ago i'm not saying you need a physical. I could use one just to see what's going on. Just see. I didn't do physical.

I mean, I do them now, but I haven't done them in forever. Most you can, you know, you kind of go through. You don't really need them in your 20s and 30s. Now, if I got gout at 28, maybe I'd jump in and try to go do one. But I wasn't a big doctor guy, man. I never went to doctors. I never went to a doctor. I'm just, I go to like, I'm not even seeing a doctor right now.

I'm seeing a, like, what's the. Nurse practitioner. Yeah. Yeah. Like, cause the, the, wherever I was going, doctors are just, you can't get a time. And so like, I'm not even to a real doctor. I mean, she's a, she knows everything, but I'm probably going to have to get, I got to go move on. Cause now I'm 41. So I'm about to have to get in some real deal. Yeah. Now I'm probably going to have to get, I got to go move on because now I'm 41,

so I'm about to have to get in some real deal. Yeah. Now you're getting the real deal testing. Yeah. Everything he goes through. I mean, he goes to the doctor. It's what the doctors get paid for. When you're 28, I mean, you're like, that's a breath.

That's true. That's a relief when you walk in there. Yeah. And then they get to go. They bat you around with a couple. Is your elbow moving? And you're like, and he's like, get out of here. And then when this walks in, they're like, all right.

How old are you? About to be 50. He's like, all right. All right. No, no, no, no, no. I'll eat lunch after. And he just has to, I mean, he has to buckle down. And that's, but I'm getting, I'm at that age.

I'm 41. I'm going to have to probably do colonoscopy, right? You got to do, I think they, it's supposed to be 50, I thought. I thought it was 40 you're supposed to get. It was 40, but I think it moved up. It was 40, moved up to 50, and now recently it's back down to 45. Yeah. So I'm about to, I'm about to go.

Yeah, I mean, I'll be 42 in a month or March, two months. So, yeah, I'm right. I got to go get a real deal. Getting there, man. Get the real deal. Yep. I just had my first colonoscopy. It was fun. Snake milker?

That sounds like, is that what he calls me that's what that's what that's what uh that's a fun doctor term like if you go to a doctor that's fun he goes what do you do he gives him a snake milker and he goes that's cool what's that he goes i don't know if you want to know it's not what you he goes are you saying it's not what I think? Because it's definitely not what you think. Like a fun, you know, proctologist. You ever sit around a proctologist? Sit around. Hear his stories.

Million to one, Doc. Snake milker. You know what a snake milker is? I mean, I assume it's... It's a venom. Is it the venom? They get the venom out. They just wring it out like a wet pair of socks?

No. No. No. No. That's your logic. That's what... You didn't think that. I mean, I'm congratulating... Okay.

So you think... Yeah. You think... Yeah. Where do you think this milk comes out of? What are they milking out of? What part of the snake are you scared of? If you think that's how they're getting this stuff out.

Like, if you see a snake or you go... Do you immediately get away from the tail get away from the tail is that your first thought no they rig it out through the to me with the the head on the bottom no and then uh no they put their fangs over a glass and they have them and then they do that so their head is over that glass or their fangs in yeah and then the venom shoots in the cup. Oh, they're collecting venom. Yeah, it's not milk. It's not milk, but I figured it was innards or something. Snake innards for maybe for leather and stuff.

Yeah, you know, people always say about you, could I be dumbing you down but i think this is you know growing up with computers kid talk that doesn't never seen reality listen dude i've never milked a snake before i'm sorry i haven't lived i have a worldly experience like but i've lived a life and you never turned the tv on accidentally and seen them there i mean you can see it everywhere it It's not some, I've lived a life. I've accidentally turned on the TV and saw it.

And you see it. Oh man. You're out there, dude. I'm out there. I've never heard of this. So they, they collect that.

What do they use the venom for? Well, that's not, we don't need to dive into it, but well now I want it. You're making me feel like an idiot for not knowing what it is. Yeah. But I don't think it's interesting enough to drag this out.

Now, don't overplay it now because you don't know it. You're like, okay, sorry, man. Go ahead. Tell us all about it. It's not like they put the venom in. It's like for people to do venom, I think it's for cancer. To make anti-venom. Anti-venom.

Yes. The Kentucky Reptile Zoo sells the stuff to people. Oh, they sell it? Yeah. And you just drink the venom. Ain't that crazy? No. I thought you've never seen, I just can't believe you've never seen that.

I've never seen that. No. Where they bite into. Never seen it. I'll have to look that up. But you're a snake guy, so. Yeah, that's true. That's true, you're a snake guy.

That's true. So maybe I was around it more. When did you see it? You've seen it, right? Yeah. Just like, yeah. Just, that's true. That's true, you're a snake guy. That's true. So maybe I was around it more. When did you see it? You've seen it, right? Yeah. Just like, yeah. Just living life, man.

Just living life. By the time you hit your 40s, you'll see it. Don't you think you just see it? Yeah. You see it on TV, you don't watch animal shows? I do watch animal shows. Yeah, I just must have missed the snake milking episode. I'm sorry, man. Yeah.

I mean, you're right. They literally hold it over like a cocktail glass. And so this image you've never seen. I've never, man. I mean, you're right. They literally hold it over like a cocktail glass. And so this image you've never seen. I've never seen that. No. I don't really like the way the inside of the snake's mouth looks. Yeah. It's not fun.

Yeah. All right. All right. Maybe no one's seen it. Maybe I'm crazy. I don't think you're crazy. I think, yeah. I mean, I probably should have been able to tell right away what that meant, milking a snake.

Here's a job I bet you know. Yeah. Odor judge. Someone who does odor tests to test the effectiveness of hygiene products like soap and body wash, deodorant, mouthwashes. So they literally smell people's armpits, their feet, and their breath. Just to rate the odor on a scale of 1 to 10. Wow. Breath would be tough.

Yeah. Breath would be my probably hardest, but, you know. More than armpits? I think so. Armpits, body odor, it's like you kind of get it. Breath, I don't know. Your face has got to go to. I think you do it like you're taught, you know, like you're taught how to safety rules in like a lab when you're supposed to smell something you're supposed to just like put your hand over where the sense

come and just kind of waft it towards you yeah that's what you do you don't put your face in somebody's armpit probably maybe you do i don't know what i'm talking about we live different lifespans we're around a lot of different things the fact that you the fact that you know how someone would do this i i that's crazy to me and but i think it's crazy that you don't you've never seen a snake and it's venom taken out and we just i don't think we would have crossed paths i honestly don't i think we just were not we were not on the same you gotta take a lab class and in high school or anything like that like in a science lab uh now i mean i almost felt science i tell you i'm not special that's at

an f in science and my dad talked to the teacher and said give give him a d and she gave me a d my dad the only reason i graduated high school is because my dad went and talked to the teacher and said come on man he's not gonna do science stuff and then they all agreed that i wouldn't getting me out of school wasn't gonna yeah... Yeah. I wasn't going to go dive into the science. And they were right. They were right. They were right on. I mean, they, yeah. Not even worry that this would ever come back to them.

Well, this woman smelled 5,600 feet in her 15-year career as an odor tester. Do you call that a career? Like, do you think you use that word? I think vocation more like yeah i mean i would say yeah is it like career sounds like stats yeah you know lebron james her yeah like is a career is a kind of weird put up some great numbers i mean she has put up some great numbers 56 i wonder if there's any that she goes i remember one out of 56 you know is it all just kind of that's uh the grade the office when he uh pees they're all having to pee in that cup and she goes hi and dwight goes

you remember me and she goes i always see a lot of people my pee was green she goes oh how are you doing yeah she just remembers like that's gotta be with her is there does she go i remember i mean i i do remember one there's got to be one foot that's just so gnarly she's just stuck out it was like the first time she's like i really started to question my career path yeah i have to smell this foot who do you smell feet for like a shoe companies i mean who, who... Oh, no. Like who contracts this person out? Hygiene products. Oh, okay.

Feet scrubs, that kind of... Oh, I don't know about feet. Yeah. I don't know. But soap, body wash, deodorant, mouthwash. Okay. I think you get into this job, you got to get into it through other people. Like this is... You're not finding this...

You got to have a buddy. You don't find it on Craigslist, you think? Yeah, you got to have someone that knows someone that's like, yeah, you're not finding this. You got to have a buddy. You'll find it on Craigslist. Yeah. You got to have someone that knows someone that's like, yeah, this is not a, you don't stumble upon this job or maybe you do stumble. You know,

I don't know. It's either like, you know, someone or you go, I'd never even knew this was a thing. And now this is my job. It's not, it's not in the.

Well, I make 40,000 a year, but there's also armpit testers. It's not in the... Well, they make $40,000 a year. But there's also armpit testers. They've got to find people who are willing to raise their armpit and let you smell them. How much do they make? $65 a week. Yeah, that's about right.

That's the only one that sounds like... That sounds like, yeah, okay. That sounds fair. I think everybody that agrees with that goes, yeah, I think that's, that's the only one that sounds like, that sounds like, yeah. Okay. That sounds fair. I think everybody that agrees that goes, yeah, that's, I think that's fair. To let someone smell your armpit and they go give you $65 a week. I'd go, yeah. You know what? That feels right.

And I, you know, that's the only one that most time you're like, what do you even pay someone? You're like, I don't know what to pay you. But that one, for some reason, 6565 a week to lift your arm up. Yeah. Sounds right. Sounds right. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. $65 a week. Perfect. You know? Chicken sexer. Anybody want to guess what this is? No.

I mean, I'm out on guessing. Yeah. Made in the chickens? Well, it's these mass poultry production places where they just pump out thousands of chickens. They need someone that can determine whether it's a male or female. So they just walk around just going male, male, female, female, male? Kind of.

I mean, they have to observe them. It's not easy. Might be a little more involved in that, I think. Yeah. It's a little bit more. I feel like you're taking shots at me now because I'm making fun of you with the have you not seen this i have come on dude have you seen it you lived a life man i'm turning on the tv i've seen chicken sex you've seen chicken sex i don't even think this is real it may it's a real thing it's uh because hens female chickens

lay eggs and males they use for meat so they have to have somebody at these mass poultry production places to immediately determine the females over here, the males over here. And when they're first born, it's not easy to determine. Yeah. So this is a full-time job, $60,000 a year, just determine if it's a male or female chicken. Wow. How good are you?

He's like 70%. Yeah, what's a good accuracy rating? What's a bad day? Yeah good accuracy rate what's a bad day you know yeah that guy just has a bad day and he's like male

male female you know just saying it yeah if he or if it's like if there's a

if it's a married couple it's a woman and she's mad at her husband that day and she's like female female and then she just you know I don't know what's a married couple. It's a woman. And she's mad at her husband that day. And she's like, female, female. And then she just, you know, I don't know what's a mean word. For a man?

Yeah. Buffoon. She's like, idiot. And you're like, idiot. And you're like, what are you doing? She goes, well, all males are idiots. So woman, goddess, goddess, idiot, idiot. And you're you're like yo kind of calm down today because i don't think they have a lot to talk about no so this would you know other jobs you got this is

kind of straightforward it sounds like a lot of work too you're just sitting there it's a lot of work and it's the same thing are they coming through on an assembly line like i love lucy like she just can't keep up with that's what i like that's what i'm picturing and he goes she goes female and i think they just and then they gotta run and grab it now male i guess it got it got pretty far down away from me but i i knew i was i was not feeling that one. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how you know. Look at them to the bottom. Like, all right.

Kramer. We had a lot of times that he looked at everything. He goes, it's a rooster. He just holds it up backwards. It just looks. Yeah. All right. What are we?

We're about to be done. Is there more or is that it? I mean, there's a lot of crazy jobs. Yeah. Professional bridesmaids. Yeah. Oh, that's sad. Yeah.

Is that what I think it is? Somebody doesn't have enough friends? Actually, it's the opposite of what you think. I don't know what else it could be. What? I mean, professional. Someone who has too many bridesmaids, this person. That goes and tells them to leave.

Yeah. It's actually, this is like me talking, I feel like I'm talking, you're talking to a child that I don't want their feelings hurt, and I go, it's actually, someone has too many friends, and so they come in and have to say, not all your friends can come and get some other jobs. And they go, well, that's so great. And you go, it is, isn't it?

It is exactly a professional bridesmaid. It is what it is. You don't have enough. I'm just saying it's sad, man. You go, what are you, a second cousin? I'm not saying it's not sad, but it was the, ah, it's sad. Is that what I think it is? Professional bridesmaid?

She's also a little bit like a personal assistant type thing. Oh, she does that. Yeah. You know why she's there. I mean, that's, no one's, you know, no, she helps me do stuff. You're like, oh, okay. But she's also going to be a bridesmaid. Yeah, I mean, we've become friends over this time.

So, you know, her and her friends come and help, and I thought, yeah, they're great, you know. I don't want my husband to realize I married a loser. Oh, let me introduce your friends. I don't think I've met that side of the family. And then it's all, you know. Have you all been, like, in people's weddings before? Yeah. I mean, you've been. A groomsman?men yeah that's what i mean yeah yeah yeah is there a weird feeling to reciprocate that on your own wedding because i'm

just going through it now planning my own wedding yeah and i'm just thinking like there are people not going to be in my wedding that i was in their wedding yeah you know no i think you could no i mean i'm i don't think with dudes i mean you know i imagine dudes can be a little more they don't care and some guys would rather be like i'd rather not be in it yeah uh so are you having a big a lot of people no not seven yeah not huge yeah seven groomsmen that's a lot is that a lot yeah i mean it's a ton yeah i think it's not a ton i don't know about that yeah i mean i mean what'd you what'd you have yeah a couple professional groups from a guy from zero yeah it's a lot more than zero that's for sure i was in one with 12 once

man yeah 12 people yeah i think more than i was the smallest one, too. Yeah. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Some big dudes. Yeah. Favorite day. Yeah. Is this where the woman thought you were in the commercial? This might be where you got Gallup. Different wedding. It might have been.

Bringing out those guys? Just from hanging out with fat dudes? Yeah. Might have, dude. I don't know. You were packed in there pretty tight i think you just picked the ones that you know you're like look it's just working out that for your grooms and you're like it's just this is what's working out yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm not i'm not too worried about i'm

just thinking about you know yeah so you have seven groomsmen but we're not neither one of us is one of them i mean i will I will go ahead and tell you no. I don't know if, you know, he might want to do it. Brian's probably wide open, but I... Is he on yours? Yeah. You're both invited. Me and my podcast, co-podcast host over here. Yeah, Aaron Land that goes and airs during Nate Land.

You're both invited. Yeah. I will go. I'll go to the wedding. But I'm not going to make you do a whole thing. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

You would want to be a groomsman. Yeah. Have a ring, boy. Carry your ring down. Can I do that? Yeah. You can. You and my nephew can walk down together. I think do that? Yeah. You can. You and my nephew can walk down together.

I think his mic bailed on this show. I mean, yeah, he's done. His mic was like, all right, dude. This is breakfast. If someone's at home, breakfast is microphone. Couldn't handle what was being brought to the table. Uh, all right.

Uh, yeah. Thank you everybody. As always for listening. Uh, we appreciate it. Leave, uh, always leave your comments,

all that kind of stuff. And, uh, yeah, we'll see you next week. All right. Thanks everybody for listening to the Nate Land Podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify,

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