The Nateland Podcast - 34: #34 | Fish

Episode Date: September 23, 2026

This week, Brian runs into Dusty at the airport, Aaron does some sightseeing in Conroe, TX, and Dusty falls in love with Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Then the guys delve into the topic of fish by learning if fish sleep, get bored, or ever get seasick. Cozy Earth: https://cozyearth.comGo to https://cozyearth.com and use my code PUBLICFIGURES for up to 20% off!NOBL: NOBLTravel.com NOBL gives you real travel peace of mind — security, design, and convenience all in one. Head to NOBLTravel.com for 46% off your entire order! #NOBL #adDon’t sleep on @ultrapouches. New customers get 15% Off with code NATELAND at takeultra.com! #UltraPouches #adRocket Money- Rocketmoney.com/nateRocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.  Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join atRocketmoney.com/nate.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome in to another edition of the Public Figures podcast, live from the Nate Land Studio right here at Zanis Comedy Showplace, Nashville, Tennessee, Music City. I'm one of your hosts, Aaron Weber, alongside my friends, my compatriots, my compadres, my colleagues, my brethren, Brian Bates. Hello. And Dusty Slay. All right. We are three Nashville-based professional stand-up comedians talking every week. about nothing. And we're back for another edition, man. What have you guys been up to? Oh, I'm pumped to be here. I've been all over the place, and I'm pumped to be here.

Well, where are you going to be this particular weekend? This weekend, I'm off. Okay. All right. I got coming up, I'm going to be, this is Aaron Weber speaking, I'm going to be in Birmingham, Alabama, at the Stardome Comedy Club, October 1st, one night only. It's the color. come out and see me there. Brian, what about you? I'm going to be in Canton, Ohio, this Friday. It's a free outdoor show. So anybody. All right. Hoping it cools off of it. Don't know what you're laughing at. Just in a field. Well, it might be like your show in New Mexico. Who knows? It could be. I think I'd rather be in a field than on pavement this time of year. Well, it has been unbelievably

hot here in Nashville. It's been the hottest place in the country. Yeah. Yeah, why is that? What's causing that? The heat dome, which, look, it's all a dome out here. But they said the heat dome settled over Nashville. Why is it settled in here? I mean, it's a great place to be, but why does it move on? I don't know, but it's finally supposed to cool off like lower 80s later this year. Tomorrow it's supposed to be in the 80s.

It's pretty crazy. I was in Texas this weekend. I land in Houston. I go, how hot's it going to be? It's 10 degrees cooler than it was in Nashville. Yeah. Florida was the same way. So I think it'll be fine in Canton. Okay.

I was in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, and that's my new favorite place in the world. What about it? What'd you like? In the country. I never been really out of the country. Do you have plans to go outside of the country? No. You don't want to do, you know, you're at the level now.

You can go do England, Ireland. You know where you should go? You can do Australia. Japan. Oh, you know what? I would like to go to Japan. I love Japan. Why?

Well, I never been. Nothing against Japan. I just think Japan. And it's very, well, it's, you know, everything I liked about Portsmouth is just clean and nice and people are friendly. I went, I got asked this guy on the street. I go, hey, you know where I can get a bottle of water? This old lady goes, oh, right down here, follow me. I'm about to go there.

And we walk there together. Wow. Yeah. You've already been to Japan? Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. But I feel like that's what we'd be doing in Japan, too.

Oh, yeah, yeah. They do call it the Portsmouth of Asia. Yeah. I mean, Portsmouth, New Hampshire. I almost don't want to talk about it because. You know where other people are going. They'll ruin it. I mean, people will go there and ruin it.

It's just, there was no loud mufflers. You think you got that kind of sway to change the culture of a city just by mentioning it? When you hate everything and then you go, I love it. That's true. I think that's why we're so thrown off is everywhere you come back, you go, this city, you know, that city's rotting from the inside out. It's the best. It was a cigar shop called the Federal and hung out there and they had a little table and chairs

right on the street and we just sat out there, me and the owner and smoked cigars and looked at people. And people, they loved it. One lady walked by and she did like this. She covered her face like this. She goes, yuckers. And I go. Yuckers. Yeah, I go. Okay, lady, just a few more steps. You're right out of this. Good thing. You can just keep walking, you know. Yuckers. Yuckers is what she said. That's crazy. The only rude lady I met the whole time. Well, that's so, that's such a silly word to you. It's almost not rude. It's like, yuckers? Yeah, yuckers.

It's tough to hear her because she covered her face with both hands. Wow. Is that a regional thing or is that of that lady thing? No, she was leaving his show. Just wanted to let him know. Yeah. Maybe it's just me, but I think smuckers. That's what I think of a media.

But, you know, the federal also had a speakeasy underneath that I went there at night and a basement and it was just clean and the air was good. Relapse there. Smoke. Great ventilation. Would you do an ad for kick cereal? Yeah. Because there's the famous commercial, I think it's Mikey,

and they say he won't eat it. He hates everything. Yeah. And then they're shocked when he likes it. You could be Mikey grown up and then, you know, just hate everything and then like something. I'll have to try it, kick cereal, but I think it's okay. If the check's okay?

It's kid tested mom approved. Yeah, I don't think there's. But is it dusty approved? I'm not really against it, you know? Oh, I'm sorry, you're right. It's not kicks. It's life. Oh, life cereal. Oh, life. I've had, actually, my kids like life. It's a good. Yeah. Just in general. Yeah, yeah. It is good.

But, yeah, it was great. And I love that. I spent two days. I had a show there on Wednesday night. It was a private gig. Oh, okay. But it was in a theater. That the place, the company rented a theater. It was nice. I was great. And then I had an extra day. It's like an ideal corporate gig. Yeah. In a real venue? Yeah.

Wow. And I had an extra day. So I just hung out and ate haddock sandwiches and, uh, uh, uh, it's a headache sandwich. It's fish. Oh, okay. Pride fish. Can you think, what, what is a haddock versus, uh, if I just go get a fish sandwich,

what is that? Cod or haddock. Cod, okay. It says, Haddock is a type. It's in the cod family. Yeah. Found primarily in the cold waters of the North Atlantic Ocean. So it was probably.

right from the water. I think so. Yeah. I don't eat a lot of seafood, so that was basically it for me, but I loved it. Port Smith, New Hampshire. That's quite a review. I mean, there's already people there ruining it. A guy, I ran into a guy on the street. Here we go. Well, I ran into a guy, 70-year-old guy on the street, and he told me, he goes, he was a fan, and he goes, he goes, yeah, it is great here, but he goes, used to be better. He goes, used to be a real village. Like, Now downtown it's a lot of boutiques, but back then it was, you know, I had a hardware store and it was just a regular functional village. Oh, okay. Brick sidewalks.

I kind of think of I've ever met anybody that's like, yeah, I love it here. And it's better than it used to be. Yeah. Well, that's true because everything's being ruined. I would say that about some aspects of Nashville, certainly the comedy scene. Yeah. It's better than it was, even when you started, right? Oh, by far.

Yeah. Yeah. It's, I mean, there's some aspects of whatever. Would you say you started it? I mean, Nashville a worse. You started the uphill swing or the positivity? You was a key player for sure. I'd like to say that.

But I'd say you guys, you starting comedy, you move in here. Some other people moving here really helped speed it along. I kind of liked it better in some ways when it was just me to myself. You know, when I moved here, speaking of sway, I mean, suddenly the city started to explode. And when I came here, I don't think people were talking about it that way. Yeah, this is a good example of causation versus correlation. Yeah, it could be. Could be.

Well, I'm going to be in Port Smith in January. Are you really? Yep. Oh, my goodness. Oh, yeah. Well. I can't wait to hear your review and compare it to Dustin. I think the difference.

I hope you have a real bad time. Not just, I hope you have a terrible time. I think the difference will be that I went there when it's like the heat's fading away. It's a beautiful day. The temperature feels great. You're going to be there in January. It's going to be cold. But I'm the type of person that would say yuckers.

So I feel like I could really fit in with these people. Yeah. I think she was a tourist. I think that lady was a tourist. So I'll be. Probably was a P-U. Yeah. P-U.

Yeah. It was great, though. I loved that. I hung out with a guy that listens to probably this podcast, but my podcast too. And we hung out, had coffee and some pastries. Just a random guy? Yeah. He emailed me.

I go, yeah, let's get together. Yeah. That's awesome. And where else? You were in Illinois? Then I went to Des Plains, Illinois, which is right outside of Chicago. right by the airport, did a casino, the Rivers Casino, great gig, with Abe Hour. I kept calling Abe all weekend, different names.

I thought it was Abe Or. It's Abe Hour. Hour, yeah. Okay. Yeah, he's like, I called him Gabe a couple of times. I called him Ed a couple of times. I kept calling him. I don't know what was going on, but, and then we drove up to.

He responded to all of these. Yeah. He's just happy to be there. And then, yeah, we drove up to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. And that was fun. That's the casino that we went to. Had you been back to the UP since we went there to you? No.

Wow, what was it like this time around? I mean, I had a good time. Well, you know, it was the weather was nice. It was starting to get cool. It was like in the high 50s, low 60s. Yeah. Well, your career was in a much different place the last time you were there. But it was great.

And we were sitting out. after the show, sitting out back, you know, having some cigars and this, like the people that work at the casino were coming in for the third shift and they were like these guys and they, I go, oh, well, you guys working at third shift, huh? And, you know, they had that kind of Yupor accent. And they were like, oh, yeah, we're just gearing up. I go, I bet you got see some wild stuff. They go, oh, you don't even want to know. And then I go, well, like what? And they go, oh, man, just anything. And I go. I don't know, but maybe, you know, specific example, though.

You guys work security? They go, now we do maintenance. And I go, oh, okay. So people are like breaking the pipes and stuff. They go, no, just, you know, trash in the bathrooms. I got, oh, okay. Yeah, really oversawled the stories. Yeah, I was like, I was waiting for some real violence.

They were like, yeah, the golfers come up here and trash the rooms and trash the bathrooms. And that doesn't even sound like maintenance. That sounds like house, housekeepers. The stories they've heard. And they kind of started their shift on a break. I mean, they came in and clocked in and then set out and smoked. They are not small talk people. I could not get people to talk to me.

It's much different up there. Yeah. Yeah. And you were probably striking out left and right there, right? Yeah. I did talk to a guy named DJ. He told me to give him a shout out at the show and I didn't. So I'm giving him one here.

All right. Yeah. Waste on us. Yeah. He was a nice guy, though. We hung out. Talk to a lot of people. Brian, what about you? Where were you?

Well, Wednesday I flew up to New York City to promote my special. I was going to very early flight, going through security, 530 in the morning, Nashville Airport, go through security. First person I see walked by me, Dusty Slay. Wow. And I go, Dusty, and he goes, doesn't even look at me. All right. Are you serious?

Keeps walking. I'm like, I'm not a fan, idiot. I had already encountered two people that morning. And so I'm just like, I'm tired. I had no sleep. I even forgot about that. I was out of it. Yeah.

And then I go, all right. You don't even look at it. Did you catch up? Did you eventually see us now? Yeah, we hung out a little bit. Yeah, we went and got some coffee and hung out. I ate some bacon when he was in the bathroom. Oh, there you got to sneak it in.

Yeah. Yeah. But we had a good time. He gets there early. Or he says I get there late, but he... Yeah, he gets there. He's like walking in the airport as they're taking off. Every time I'm at the airport, I think, I could have slept another hour.

That's how early I get there. I like to get there early. Are you excited, Brian, for the Southwest Lounge? That's about to open at B&A. I am. It's going to change our lives, man. Yeah. I'm pretty excited.

Yeah. But anyway, Brian is too, you could tell. Yeah, you sounded over the moon about it. Yeah, I was just thinking maybe I will get there earlier for the southwest. Well, Slange, but those early flights, I don't want to get there. Yeah, there's not much earlier. You can't get there. Super early.

But you said you weren't getting any sleep, so I guess I might as well head on the airport. My kids were coughing and I was wide awake. Yeah. Let me get out of here. Yeah. You know, back in the day, I told you guys that I like, when the Uber drops you off, I like to go to that elevator and then go up to like the fifth floor and then go over and cut across that bridge.

Yeah. They shut that down. That bridge has been down for about six months now. I think they're taking it out. And bridge is gone now. They're shutting it down. Why? I don't know.

They're going to reopen that floor, but I guess they're going to redo it. That's interesting. You went up there and saw it. Yeah. And I still park on the fifth floor every time I'm there and I walk up to it and I go, God, I forgot. That's such a, that was such a hot spot because you could come down the escalator. Oh, right into it. Like a grand entrance into the airport.

Yeah. I'll turn around and go back and do it again. Yeah. So someone recognized me here. Yeah. I loved it. Here I am, folks. and it shut down.

It's too bad. But anyway, I was up there promoting my special and I had a great time. I did a show at New York Comedy Club and four of the six comics on the show had one time,

including myself, appeared on the Nate Land podcast. Wow. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, yeah. That is crazy. Yeah. Who were the two that weren't?

Should we get them on? Mary Centora. Oh, I know Mary. Yeah, it was great. And I cannot think of the other... Okay, so we'll be. skip them. Girl's name.

Yeah. But, and the Sklar brothers, they did a guest set. Samarrell did a guest set. But as far as just people build on the show. Yeah. It was me, Mark Norman, who's been on Nate Land. Gary Veter's been on Nate Land. Yeah.

And, gosh, I'm forgetting something. Beckion. Yeah, and Mike Veckeone. They really put together a Nate Land show, huh? Kind of. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's awesome.

And you did Larry the Cable Guy show? Did Larry the Cable Guy show? You know, I told you guys just a few weeks ago. I never met any of the Blue Collar. guys. And I did Larry's radio show. I did Jeff Foxworthy's this morning. Wow. Just over Zoom. So now I've met

two of them. And I got to tell Larry the story about mistaken. Did he appreciate it? I mean, that's such a funny story. Yeah, he said Reno. When I started telling, he said, I think Reno's told me this story before. Oh, that's funny. But it was a fun time. And you know, he got

Cletus T. Judd put out of like an Ella Langley song. Yeah. They had it removed. They had made him remove it. I saw that. made him removed? I guess Ella's team. Yeah. Oh, copyright stuff. Well, I don't even, I don't know, but he's like, I've been doing this for 30 years or more and this is, you know, this is the first time this has ever happened. And he's like, it wasn't even like a negative. He's like, I was just the song about wanting to meet her. Oh, okay. I was also in, um, I probably have that removed. Yeah, but he had that, he had that whole song if Shania was mine. Okay. You know, I think this Ella

Langley song hit was one of his biggest hits in a long time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I feel bad for That would frustrate. I got taken off. I went to Tallahassee and did a recharge conference. Okay. And... How do you feel? Well, I drink their batteries a little bit.

Yeah, I say they get recharge after your... I get it started. And then they recharge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, they always say, you know, what do you need for... What are you on the stage or whatever for corporates? And I said, I just need a...

I just need a ball of water and a stool on stage to put it on. Yeah. And very often I get that. there and they're like, they already have the bottle of water on the stool, which is very nice. And this was at a church. And I said, I'm going to go ahead and unscrew the top, so I'm not fiddling with it while I'm up there on stage. So I go up there before the show, unscrew the top. They introduced me, and I go up there. And the first thing I do is slide, move the stool a little bit. Yeah. The bottle of water immediately tips over. Half of it just dumps out on the floor.

This is, you even grab the mic yet. Yes. They have to. to stop the show, go get towels, go get people to just get down on their hands and knees. It just stopped the show. It was water everywhere. That seems extreme. How big was the bottle? What brand of bottle was it? Can I ask you that? Was it like? I think it was Fiji.

Oh, a Fiji one's tough to tip over because it's got corners. Square, yeah. You must have really yanked that stool. Can I change my answer? Aquafina, I don't know. Yeah, Aquafina ones are pretty strong too. Yeah, because it's got four, it's got several things that come down. Now, like these bottles here, these are the flimsier, thinner plastic that can easily tip over. But you've got to want to knock over a Fiji, man.

Yeah. It was a bad start. Let's just say that. I can't believe they stopped the show. I've spilled so much water on stage. Oh, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, I may fall. Well, the show hadn't really even started.

So they're like, let's just get this cleaned up before. I kept my watch running. I'm like, this counts as my time. Yeah. It's part of the show. Yeah. I do this. Every show.

It's a water thing. Yeah. Gimick. Yeah. But thanks guys for having me, the recharge conference. That's great. I was in Orlando, Florida on Thursday to show with the Orlando Improv. Oh, yeah.

It's nice, just in and out. Is that the Orlando Funny Bone, no? I think it's the Improv. Okay. I thought they changed a lot of them. I thought they changed it, too. But it was called the Improv when it says Funny Bone. Okay.

Maybe that's why it wasn't sold out. but you're at the wrong place it was the improvs and the funny bones are all under the same umbrella so they a lot of the clubs have been shuffling the names around so it's tough to keep up i guess they're the funny bone but i called it the improv the whole time sorry about that i think it's still said improv on the back of the stage so it's a slow transition i wish we could pull up a picture yeah it's just funny bones so big right it might have i was at the orlando comedy club and had a great show. I was in and out because I had to get the next day. I had to get to Conroe, Texas. So that's some of the worst routing I've had in a long time. Yeah. When you fly into Orlando and then you're going to fly into Houston the next morning. You know when you're checking in to your flight while you're on your previous flight? Yeah. That's the worst. So we flew to Houston up to Conroe. I'd never heard of Conroe before these shows. There's not a ton going on there. Very nice people. But we have to

the bartender when we got there we go what's something like Conroe's known for we can check out and he goes uh you know the Texas state flag uh wasn't was made uh couple towns up from here I was like your town is close to a town that did something yeah he's like yeah pretty much close to a town that did something that uh nobody probably really ever talks about yeah yeah and I asked what did you do you just it's one of the more it's one of the more famous flags, though. But it. Because they, you know, there's a lot of Texas pride.

So it's got, you know, a white stripe, a red stripe. And then there's blue on the left with this. It's like a little. It's like a minimalist version of the USA flag. Yeah. Yeah. But that was just a town just outside of Colorado. One state, two colonies.

Did you meet? Did you meet? That's really funny. So we were there. I asked, you know, on stage one night, I go, we got a full day in Conroe tomorrow. Like, what, what's something? We want to go, like, do the thing that you're supposed to do in the city. And somebody goes, go to Lake Conroe.

I go, Lake Conroe. I go, what's you doing there? She goes, I don't know, but don't get in the water. I was like, all right. Why would I not get in the water? Too hot? She goes, nope, there's more bodies than fish. Wow.

I was like, wow. Apparently a lot of dead bodies get dumped. into Lake Conroe. Oh, so really a tourist destination. Yeah, but we did drive out there. Jay Flake and I, he was with me on weekend. We did drive out there and it looked like a pretty normal lake. People were, you know, they were knee-deep in there playing around.

So it looked like a fun time. Dragon bodies out. Those are called forensics experts. Okay, if you've listened to this podcast for any amount of time, you know I like my sleep. I like these insomniacs here. And they say the best sleep happens when you're, You're cooler at night. That's why I wear my sunglasses, because your body's temperature naturally drops to help you fall asleep.

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Upgrade your sleep with Cozy Earth. Once you try these sheets, you're going to wonder why you waited so long. Head to cozy earth.com to use my code public figures for up to 20% off. That's code public figures for up to 20% off. And if you get a post-purchase survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth right here on the Public Figures podcast. But it was a great time. Thank you to everybody who came out to see me in Orlando in Conroe, Texas. Did you meet Harry?

I did meet Harry. Yeah. Guadalajari. It's a club. It's on top of a restaurant bar called Guadalajaris. And the riot is upstairs. Yeah. And I saw your picture on the wall.

Okay. Over there. Yeah. I took out my picture. I signed it and everything. So that's a cool little spot. It's a relatively new club. They started doing comedy there relatively recently.

Yeah, first of this year, I think. Mm-hmm. People kept going, man, I can't wait until Brian gets out here. And I was like, he was just here. And they go, I miss that. Story of my life. Yeah. Everybody's very nice.

I had no problems all weekend. Wow. Like outside of, I'm talking about the shows themselves. The shows themselves, no problems. Everybody was great. Nobody kicked out, anything like that. And the UP people were moving and shaking, man. They were going to the bathroom, getting more drinks.

I mean, the whole time I go, it's not really how you enjoy a comedy show. You really need to hear what I'm saying here. You're not hearing it. I don't even know what you're doing in here. Well, I was home Saturday. And we had a family event Saturday afternoon. I was watching the Vandy game at home, trying to keep up the best I can when you got a small child. You know, it's kind of tough.

But they were down 17 to nothing. I thought, it looks like we're going to get killed. them coming back. I think it was where Vanderbilt was down 31 to 21 maybe when I left the house and I'm like well we've made it closer but we're going to win and I was trying to follow it on my phone

driving to our family event and then I start getting safe. What? I wasn't I really wasn't watching it. I was just checking the score and I saw it was 31, 28 and then I was just my phone just starts blowing up with text from people and I'm like what is going on? So I didn't see it

live, but when I got to my mom's house, then I pulled up and saw the most unbelievable. Did you see this play? No. This is the Vanderbilt. I've completely abandoned. NC State game. Well, really feel bad for you. It was an unbelievable weekend in college football.

This is Vanderbilt, NC State. NC State has the lead. There's less than 10 seconds left. Yeah. I think six. All they have to do is take the snap, kill a few seconds, and then take a knee in the end zone. They're up by three. so they can give a safety away and then punt the ball to Vanderbilt with one second left.

That's all they have to do. And this is what happens. Well, I don't like the audio on this. Fumbled the ball in the end zone. Vanderbilt gets it. Touchdown wins as time expires. Wow. It was crazy.

I watched it probably a hundred times. It might be the worst way to lose a football game I've ever heard of. I know, man. Vanderbilt led literally one second of the game. Isn't that crazy? That's so wild. And they were three-point favorites, Dusty, and they let them kick the extra point, so they won by four. Wow.

So it covered the spread. So I'm not saying. That's wild, man. And then I did see that Ole Miss beat LSU, which is pretty exciting. I like to think that Lane Kiffin went home and said, wow, I built such a good team that I couldn't even beat my own team. That's what I like to think. That's some good logic. I like to think that he thinks that.

He goes, man, what a good team I built. A year ago. Yeah, I can't wait to, you know, beat them next year. But this year, I really put together a strong team. Well, Vandy plays Auburn this week. Big one. At Auburn. So we'll see.

Auburn lost to Florida, but they're two and one, I think. Florida's pretty good this year. Yeah, Notre Dame's 3 and O. Notre Dame's 3 and O. We play Purdue this weekend. It's going to be a big game. It's the Weber Family Showdown right there. Do you want to start off with these comments here?

You want to get into it? Yeah. You got some comments. Comments come, as always from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple podcast reviews, and mail at Nate Leonpodcast.com. First comment. Oh, can I just say this, though? Sure.

I took a drink of water and I swallowed it. And you know our friend Diana Williams that listens to the podcast? I did that on my own podcast. And she commented, drinking water. She said something like drinking water on the podcast. Gross. I'm out. Good for Diana.

Finally, someone said it. Well, good for Diana for finally speaking up about something she doesn't like. That's what made her out? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, she better hope I never get a solo podcast. She's mad with you drinking water. The stuff I'll be doing on there.

Donna Worley, Donna Worley, loved the radio episode, especially learning why AM radio travels so well at night. That was the miracle of our 1970s kid existence. in Iowa, getting WLS AM all the way from Chicago on our car in transistor radios. The top 40 hits came in clear after dark. All right. That's pretty wild to think about. You were subject just to listen to music that you wanted to.

Yeah. And now you listen to anything? That's why nothing's good now because back then you were like, you were really like, you go, oh, that's good. I like that. But now you're like, you listen to it for two seconds. you go. I don't like that. Do you think that you're...

I'm sorry to interrupt. You're saying people have changed, not the radio's changed. Well, I think it's... Because now you have so many choices, you're like, this stinks. It's affected everyone. Now everyone's like, well, how do I make music to catch them right away, you know, instead of building something. I got to catch them right away.

I got to grab them in an instant. Oh, you're saying the hook, the idea of a hook. Yeah, you can't just go, you know what? I've created something great, and it's going to build in time. Cody Thomas. I had no clue that Casey Kasem was the voice of Shaggy that there's such a thing as a holistic dentist. Thanks for teaching us about the radio.

Well, Cody, welcome to the real world. I mean, there is holistic people all over the country and they're trying to help you. You got some pushback, Dusty, though. I also got an offer from a dentist here in town that offered to pull your root canal live on the podcast. Is that real? Yeah.

Set it up. Yeah. But I think. Save it for sweeps. The reason I'll turn that down is because the root canal worked. Like my teeth are fine. Yeah, but you got a dead tooth in that. It's slowly deteriorating your health.

It's deteriorating my health? Deuteriorating your health, yeah. In what way? It's linked to all sorts of things. Okay. I mean, you'll have to look it up. I don't want to go into it all here, but you're going to want to get that out of there. Silly me.

Aaron Humphrey. They call it butt rock. Because the radio DJ would say, he would always say nothing but rock. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Well, that makes more sense. But there is rock music that I would not call butt rock. Right?

I wouldn't call any of it that, personally. To put it on butt rock. Yeah, tune it to some butt rock, just me and my boys. Look, you're never, you never get in a fight with your wife, and then you get in the car and you open up Spotify and you type in butt rock place. Yeah, I'm about to get divorced, butt rock. She hates me. Na, nah, nah, nah.

That's the way to live. Dusty, what's your go-to if you get in the car, frustrated with your wife? Not with your wife specifically. Okay, you want to make it. You're right. Yeah, let's say, you got to blow off CIA. Let's say we have a tense podcast and you get in the car. This is what I do.

I have Sirius XM and I hit about six stations and I go, oh, this sucks. And then usually I'll go to classical music. Oh, just to wind down. I go, I don't even want to hear any of this stuff. favorite composer? Who do you like? I don't know. The thing about classical music is they never make the titles of the song any kind of thing that you can repeat to your friends. Piano Concerto number nine. Yeah. And then all the names are long. Sweet number three. Yeah. I mean, I do listen to a lot of Bach on cello and cello. And so I like that. Yogo Ma. Do you remember, did you ever watch? I skip that

song, actually. What song? The main Yo Yo Ma song that everyone knows. Chelo Sweet. number one. Yeah, it's just like, I've heard it too many. It's good, but I've heard it too many times. Did you watch the BBC version of the office? The original, the British office? Yeah. Yeah. It's been a while. Ricky or Jervase's character, David Brant goes on a blind date, and she's like, this here you like classical music.

She's like, who do you like? He's like, oh, you know, all the great ones, you know, and, you know, clearly she said, she says, I like, and she names some not so well-known. He's like, I like Beethoven. You know, he's German. consider the best, right? And it's just such a funny exchange. It's a little bit like the LeBron thing that we talk about a little bit. Like, what's your favorite book?

Oh, yeah. What's your favorite quote from The Godfather? Man, it's just too many, man. Too many good ones. Yeah. Can you name one? I wouldn't want to do that. I wouldn't want to.

I mean, you know, too many good quotes. Beethoven's Fifth Symphony, very famous. Bump, bum, bum, bum. It's really great, though, because that's what we hear. You know, but it's a very long. song. It's like 10 minutes. Yeah, yeah. And it's really good. Once you get past that initial thing that you've heard, that's the hook. Nine million times. Yeah. You know, it is. It is. He was ahead of his time.

He was ahead of it. And he was deaf. Is that crazy? I don't believe that. Why would he lie about it? I don't know that he lied about it, but I just feel like over time they were like, yeah, it was deaf. You know that? Some people say he didn't even exist. Yeah. Beethoven? Yeah. Yeah. Right. I'm sure somebody, I'm sure somebody's saying that. You ever see the movie Amadeus? I haven't seen you. You would love that, man. Okay.

Really a truly great movie that I feel like doesn't get talked about enough. You've seen Amadeus, I'm sure, right? Yeah, about Mozart. It got, I think it won best picture, like, it's from like the 80s. Yeah. Yeah, unbelievable. It's all about. Was Robert Downey Jr. in that?

Not that, I don't think so. Okay. Who's in it? I don't know any of the actors. Okay. I'll check it out. But it's really, really good. I'll report back next week.

Amadeus. Amadeus. We all traveled a lot. That's part of the job. The worst is when you got a bunch of, you ever see people at the airport. You see them all the time. They look like they have no idea what they're doing. They're just lost. They're dropping stuff. Their suitcase. There's clothes sticking out of it. They're a mess. Everybody I see at the airport, I think that. I feel bad for this people when I see him struggling because I'm like, golly, you know what they need. They need some luggage that's more than just a box on wheels. A noble suitcase. We got one here. I'm rolling around the table. This thing is. is incredible. Look at some of the features here. A cup holder? I think I'm knocking over something over there. Yeah. Yeah, I can't see behind my laptop. Good wheels. You need Goodwill's. It's got a cup holder right here on the side. Oh, yeah. Pop your coffee right in there. I like that. There's a laptop compartment right here that just kind of opens up. I think Brian just shut up. Oh, sorry. That's all right. Labtop compartment, pop it in right there. Charging port, 360-degree wheels, which we're just playing right here by rolling it around. Noble gives you real,

travel, peace of mind. Security, design, convenience, all in one. Every suitcase comes with a 100-day money-back guarantee. Check that out, Dust. It's also, feel the quality on that. It's real hard, too. So when the TSA throws it around or whoever, the people that work at the airport, they throw it around, your stuff doesn't get abused. Exactly. And if you have a trip coming up, they have free, three-day express shipping plus a lifetime warranty. It's the last suitcase you'll ever need to buy. They sell out fast, so get it while you can. Upgrade to luggage. The that looks better, last longer, and travel smarter. Head to noble travel.com for up to 46% off your entire order.

That's N-O-B-L-Travel.com for up to 46% off. After you purchase, they will ask where you heard about them. Be honest. Support our show and tell them we sent you. Don't lie about it. Kevin Well-born. Well-born. That kid's well-born right there.

My brother-in-law works for well-born cabinets in Alabama. This might be... Maybe, could be. From the well-born family. I'm about to order Amadea, so... Yeah, oh, you... It's really a good... I mean, am I wrong?

It's a good... No, it's a good news. It's been so long since I've seen it, but I remember being really good. Yeah. It's about a, you know, a composer who's very good, but then Mozart comes around, and he's prodigious,

but he's like a screw-up. Only $5. He's a screw-up, so it's about the jealousy of that, the original composer. of this new kid that comes around. It's kind of like when I started doing comedy and you're in Nashville. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Yeah, I remember that very well. So this will, like, oh, this guy is coming right ahead. Well, there was a time Dusty was the youngest stand-up comic ever at the Grand Ole Opry. That's right. But then John Chris beat you. Yeah. And then I beat you.

Well, I like, I always like to tell people that I open the door for a new generation of comic. You 100% did. They were like, I don't know about these young guys. And then I came in and they go, Maybe we'd give some a shot. Like what Grandpa Jones did for me. Kind of over the door for the older comics. Yes, exactly.

Do you know Grandpa Jones? No. I thought he said Grandpa Joe from Willie Wonka. Do you know Grandpa Jones? No. Well, you guys need to learn some Opry history. I'm sorry about that, man. Classic.

Do you know Minnie Pearl? I know Minnie Pearl. Okay. But yeah, you were the first comedian of the new wave. It was basically Henry Cho was one of the only comedians. And Gary Mildee. Yeah, those are the only two comedians that were working there, and then you worked there, and it went really well. So they said, let's start getting some other comments.

So I do give you a little, do you credit for that. I appreciate that, man. Yeah, thank you guys. Yeah. Kevin Will Wellborn. Our local country station had an all-request Friday night, and it was so cool to get on there and dedicate a song to your junior high boyfriend or girlfriend. But it was super awkward when someone dedicated unanswered prayers to you when you did not want to go out with them when you were 12 years old. Yeah, that would be a little weird.

Wow. That's a good song, though. That's funny. How old was the person that dedicated it? Yeah, they're probably 13. Okay. Yeah. That's a good song.

So is that the sometimes God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers? And he runs into his ex-girlfriend at the high school football game. He's like, we try to talk about the old times. Wasn't much we could come up with. Wow. Wasn't much we could recall. Yeah, and he says, I could. tell that time had changed me

and her eyes to it seemed. And she, that is what you feel like that she was like, God. Look at this guy. Well, I think it's funny because he was buried to his first wife then when he wrote the song.

Oh, yeah. Of course, he ends with divorce and he married Tricia Yearwood. Yeah. So some prayers got to answer. Mike Terry. The last time. You know Mike Terry?

Yeah. From the opera. Yeah. Is that him? The last time I visited Nashville, I set all the presets in my rental car to Willie's Roadhouse as my way of paying tribute. All right, Mike. All right. How about that?

That's really nice. Yeah. That's where the opera gets played on the radio. Yeah. That's where you said you listen to it, right? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Lynn Bendell.

Bendal. Bendal. Bendal. Why Bindal? Lynn Bendal. Actually called into the Bob and Tom show. It was after my midnight shift as an air traffic controller in Louisville, Kentucky. They were discussing what the actual word was for a forward slash.

We use that symbol a lot in our keyboard entries. I got a Bombatom coffee cup as a result. By the way, it's called a virgul. Never heard of that. Still not sure we're pronouncing it, right. Virgil, virgul. I guess it means comma in French. If you pull up an image, it is the forward slash.

Yeah, the forward slash a virgul. So, wow, how about that? Never heard of that. Thanks, Lynn Bendall. I mean, that's good stuff. That's good stuff right there. Got yourself a mug. Do you still have that mug, Lynn? Monica Kilhofer. Comment. Kill Offer.

Wow. She got a kill offer. Yeah. What if it turns out that the people who hear voices in their heads are actually just accidentally tuning into the radio through their fillings? That is a very interesting thought. I don't know if it's necessarily responsible to put that idea out there into the world. Well, we should find out.

Do these people have fillings? Yeah, why is it not responsible? It seems like we need to get the bottom of it. There's some people out there might be called crazy and they just have feelings. Probably are being targeted with radio waves to some degree. Right. Yeah. By the government.

Not necessarily the government. Whoever has control of that. Adam P. Dusty may remember you could call in on your birthday to 97.7 Kicker FM or Mix 96.7 in Opelika and get your name read on the air. Thought that was the coolest thing as a kid in a small town. I do remember that. Do you ever call it in? I don't think I ever did, but I think my mom had called it in on my behalf.

So, yeah, it's pretty fun, yeah. Hear your name on the radio. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah. Thanks, Adam, P. I bet that was the coolest thing for Adam until right now. getting his name red on the hard guys he didn't even have put his full name yeah could have said

your whole name adam pia it's all was your birthday too yeah we'd have given you a shout now yeah dang adam you really missed an opportunity i don't even know any adam p's do you still live in opalika i grew up with a kid named adam pouncey oh okay that's the only adam pia i can think of i don't know any adam p's i don't think mary ellen puopolo He's last thing is Puapolo. There's one that could have put just P. Yeah, that's Adam P's wife. Mary Ellen Pee.

You think that's a Pua Polo? It looks Hawaiian almost. Pooopolo. Pua Pollo. Mary Ellen Pua Polo. That sounds better. This sounds more Italian. Yeah, Pooopolo.

Pua. Just realize that your weekly episode release matches up perfectly to my pregnancy. Well, that was the plan. Today is episode 33, and as of today, I am now now 33 weeks pregnant. Not sure what to do with that information, but I thought it was worth noting. Love the show, looking forward to episode 40.

Well, that's amazing. I'm not sure what we're supposed to do that information either, Mary Ellen, but it is very interesting. It is interesting that she points it out on week 33. As you know, it's a bit of a, you know, 33 is a number that gets thrown out there. You guys not familiar with it at? No, what's 33. Okay, well, pops up a lot, 33. Oh, like numerology?

Yeah. Oh, okay. I thought you meant in the pregnancy. No. The 33 significant. Do you think she and her husband were listening episode one and just got them in the mood? I bet so. Turns me on.

I bet that is it? No, then they would be a week behind. All right. Do you think they listen to the Nateland finale? Just turn me on. Yeah. Maybe in anticipation, maybe the fact that we didn't have a podcast led them to some free time. Yeah.

Yeah. Either way. That was during the ice storm. Either way, you're welcome. Yeah. The ice storm. They were trapped inside. In Hawaii.

All right. John Bungard. These names are crazy. You don't have to say it like that. Well, he's a bun guard. He guards buns. I'm just picturing like a loss prevention at a bakery. Yeah.

Bungard. They're stealing all the buns. Unmoved mover could be a good name. for the show where Duster rearranges stuff in people's houses. I like that because the rearranger, as you know, has a, if you don't spell it right or leave a, it can look weird. So you got to, you know, so you got a so unmoved mover could be a good title for it. You got to put, yeah, yeah, yeah, I like that.

Unmoved mover. A little blasphemous to call yourself that, though. Well, I don't know. I mean, just because someone else is. It's like calling myself the Lamb of Lambs or something like that. Yeah, but I don't feel like unmoved mover is in the Bible. The lamb. It's probably in one of your books.

Yeah, that's in Maccabees. Is it in there? No. No, it's a philosophical. That's pre-biblical. That was talked about it. Kai or Kaye. A famous true story is that during World War II,

Lucille Ball picked up Morse code transmissions through her fillings when driving by the MGM studios. The FBI ended up finding an underground Japanese radio station. Wow. What do you think they were playing? I don't know. Ask them when you go there. I looked this up.

She did tell this story on a talk show. But speculation is this probably didn't really happen. She probably just tried to come up with some content. Trying to get some press for the show? He said it 100% honesty, but the myth busters, they tried to recreate it. But we know that they can be incorrect because Aaron's uncle busted a myth. My grandfather. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, people say that probably would not be possible to do that. Yeah, if that was, I feel like I would have heard that story. That's so crazy. Yeah. That's wild, man.

You know, it's funny. You mentioned that. I had a guy in Conroe, Texas this weekend. He showed up and he had a textbook on him, physics textbook. And he handed it to me and he goes, this is my collegiate physics textbook. My professor was a guy named Foster Neff Weber. He was your grandfather. Wow.

He said your grandfather taught me physics in college. Wow. And he's now an engineer and he kept the textbook. I signed a textbook that my grandfather taught him. He didn't give it to you. He didn't give it. No, I mean, he wanted to have it signed. Yeah.

Do you work for NASA? No, I don't know what he does. He's an engineer. And he went to South Alabama and took physics there. That's cool. It was a small world. That is crazy. Unbelievably small world.

Susan Gassman. Yeah. John Bungard and Susan. Yeah. How do they know I have gas? Man. I just recently learned that, Morgan Wallen is Dale Earnhardt.

Oh, okay. This would break Dusty's heart if this were true. Did you know this, Dusty? No, there's no way. They do look a lot of like. I wouldn't be surprised if Dale Earnhardt is, or Morgan Wallen's not Dale Earnhardt's son. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.?

No, Dale Earnhardt. I mean, Dale Earnhardt's probably getting around. I mean, he would have been a good one. Oh, okay. Illegimate son here. Oh, okay. How old's Morgan Wallen? Is he still in his 20s?

Probably, he's maybe 30. Yeah. Dale Earnhardt's probably in all. Early 30s. Close to 30 years. right? So maybe Dale Jr.'s kid. Maybe. No, it was what, 2001 that Dale Earnhard died, right?

Oh, okay. Wasn't? I don't remember. I think so, yeah. Actually, it was because it was the same year as 9-11. Yeah, February 18th, 2001. It was the biggest tragedy of the year. Until.

Until, for some people, but I'm just saying, for some people, February 18th was still the bigger tragedy. I mean, it's the day that racing died. Sure. Yeah. How about that? Well, that's an interesting one. All right, well, those are the comments. Thank you so much for writing in. Can't wait to read this week's. And Brian, what do you have for us? Well, I do you guys, do you guys know Mikey Winfield. I do know Mikey Winfield. I hosted the Nate Land Showcase that he did, and he's very, very funny. He is very funny. He was in the office. I asked him about it. Oh, yeah. That's right. He had a small role in the office. He was one of the, after the warehouse, everybody in the warehouse wins the lottery. and they have to hire a whole new warehouse.

He's one of the guys that they hire. You know, I opened for Mikey Winfield at the punchline in Atlanta years ago, and I helped him do an audition. I helped him do a, you know, what do they call it, self-tape? Yeah, for what? I don't know, but maybe for the office. Maybe I helped him get that.

Well, he, his Nateland Showcase that you hosted is premiering this Thursday during Thursday Night Thing on the Nateland YouTube channel. at 7 o'clock. Mike Goodwin specials out there. Yeah. Yeah. Doing great.

Yeah. Mike is so funny. Special looks unbelievable. I know. I know. It looks incredible. So go check it out if you haven't already. It's half hour special.

It premiered this past Friday. It's doing great. And then, look, the Titans rowing too. So if you're a Titans fan, looking for something to do on a Sunday afternoon, go to the Woolworth Theater in downtown Nashville. Not all World War's, Dusty, just the one in downtown Nashville.

Thanks for cleaning that up this time. To see Andy Woodhole, Mike James. James and Mark Shalifu, three very, very funny comics, Sunday afternoon, 3 p.m., October 18th. So go check that out. And my Titans lost yesterday to the Eagles. You know, I was scrolling through Nateland Showcase, Nateland Live Showcase videos, just seeing who had the most views. You know, this is not counting specials. And shout out to Brad Upton.

By far. I mean, it is like insane. I know. By far, he was like, whoa. He's like King Midas too, because his dry bar blew up real big, and then the Nateland one fell up. So that guy, everywhere he goes. I'd like to get that guy on my show. But this week, very important subject.

We're talking about fish. Now, we've already talked about fish some on this episode. A little surprise to here, you don't eat much seafood since it's very biblical. But maybe not in the Old Testament. I eat fish, but biblically, I love. lot of seafood is unclean. Crestations. Yeah.

Right? And catfish. Yeah. Bottom feeders, right? Yeah. So, but regular fish, you can eat and have salmon. You can have stuff like that. Salmon's delicious.

I eat it all the time. What is the difference between a catfish and like a cod? Well, catfish doesn't have fins or scales. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, this is really a slimy skin. Like human skin?

It's not scales. It's more. like a, it's not, just like a shark, you know. Yeah. Like it's just, uh, doesn't have scales. Catfish do not have scales. Their bodies are often naked. Yeah, they're little slimy and. Oh, they're often what, Brian? Naked. Naked. I figured out, uh, their thin, skin is covered in a thick layer of mucus. Yeah. So they're just, so basically the difference is they're just gross compared to other fish. Yeah, like all unclean animals. They're just gross. Yeah.

But what if you raise one from the start and you keep it real clean and nice? Let's say you get a pig from birth and you raise it like a dog. Well, I think people do, I mean, raising it like a dog may not be the dog. Maybe you raise it like a child. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be tough to kill that thing. Yeah, I guess that would cause them. I just think pigs like, you can raise them better, but they naturally will rut and dig down in the dirt.

and they'll make mud. Tell you what, you leave a kid outside for a while. Yeah. They'll start digging home. But we don't eat those either. I guess that's a good point. Well,

if you had the pig in the house. Yeah, but like I say, it's nature as to be a bottom feeder. And they eat anything. They only, like a cow has four stomachs. And they just eat grass. And then it filters through all the stomachs,

making the meat clean and good. And then a pig has one stomach. They say a pig internally is the most like a human. And cannibals will say that humans taste like pork. And in the movie, fried green tomatoes. Where's this interview with the cannibal? I think Jeffrey Dahmer said it. Oh, wow.

Okay. And then in the movie fried green tomatoes, you know, they kill that guy, the guy who's beaten his wife. They kill that guy. And then they feed it to the investigator in a stew. And he goes, this is the best stew I've ever had. I haven't seen fried green tomatoes It's a great movie

Yeah I didn't know the movie It was that dark It didn't either It doesn't It gets sad It was a chick flick It is sort of It gets sad

Yeah But it's Oh I was thinking of How to eat fried tomatoes A Friday How to eat fried worms You ever heard I remember that one

Yeah I don't think that's going on In that one Okay I was gonna say That's why that surprised me Fried Tomatoes is Kathy Bates

A couple of other people The Girl from Weeds I remember the main Mary Louise Yeah From the West Wing Young role of her She was the wife

Who was being beaten by her husband And they killed him But most fish You can eat Yeah It's just a preference And then like Shrimp scallops

Oysters lobsters Clubs, lobsters, crabs All those things They're all filters Oh okay You know So if we didn't fish them Our oceans would probably be beautiful

Oh okay Beautiful and clear probably see all the way to the bottom. Imagine what it would be like. It would be beautiful. It's kind of scary. I don't know if I want to see to the bottom of the ocean. What's your shirt there?

Oh, it is fish. Yeah, forget about it. This is my Jesse Daniels shirt. This is my new Jesse Daniels share. Real country? Yeah. Oh, okay. Jesse Daniels who created Working Band,

which was the titular song from Dusty's first Netflix special. Working hard. Working hard. Which is now on YouTube. Both day and night. Yeah. More commands on. What was the, we were talking about fish earlier in this episode?

What were we talking about? Hmm. I don't know. How we're talking about eating cod? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I can't remember why we were talking about it, but. Because I was eating it in Port Smith, New Hampshire.

Yeah. Oh, that's right. One of the best cities of all time. Everybody, vacation there now. Vacation there, but enjoy it for what it is. Don't open a business. Bring your values and start a family. Keep it clean.

and crime-free and not that loud. Like these, you go to these cities and it's just loud and dirty and you can't leave your laptop laying around. It's like, Portsmouth is a place where it just feels good. Okay. I want to give up, I'm going to go all the way back to what I did this past week. Shout up, Derek Strupe. Derek Strupp let me stay at his apartment in New York City.

Wow. And which is very nice of him. And that apartment building, there's four units. Three out of the four are comics. So it's Derek, it's Stephen Rogers, and Renan Hirshberg. Wow. And Joe List used to live there, right? Joe List used to live there, yeah.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So thank you, Derek Stroop for... I mean, he saved you thousands of dollars. Hotels in New York are crazy. He only stayed one night, but... Still. Still.

Yeah. At least. And shout out to Ryan Hamilton, who let me run around with him to all the spots at the cellar and stuff like that, which is very nice of him. So just want to mention some. Who'd you see? Ryan Hamilton. No, Azizun Sari was on one of the shows.

When Ryan and I walked out on the street, Mark Cuban walked by. To do a spot? I don't know. He was with a very tall guy. I don't know what he was doing there. When I was at Sirius X-S. Basketball player, maybe. Yeah.

When I was at Sirius X-M, Neil DeGrasse Tyson was there. And I wanted to ask him come on our pod to talk about a few things. Pontificate. That would be. go on and on and on about nonsense. That guy. Gosh, that guy. You ever listen to that guy?

I love him. He is an excellent communicator. There's a reason he has such a big career. But it's nonsense that he says. Some of it is. Yeah. But I think he does know. I mean, I'm not the biggest fan of him either, but I think he knows about science.

He knows some stuff about science. He knows something. You think you can go to toe to toe with him in a debate? Well, the thing about it is more people are going to believe. him. No, let's say no audience. Just you and him just one on one. Oh, yeah.

Just me and him in a room. Just you and him in a room. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, when you're in front of people, everything, everything he says, people will go, well, he knows. I mean, he's a, you know, a scientist on TV. So, you know, he's, you know, he's out here wearing space shirts and stuff.

And he's, uh, so how people, listen to him. He goes, the earth is shaped like a pear. And everybody goes, ah, I guess it is. Forget about all those pictures we've seen. It's a pair. Yeah. Well, anyway, Neil, if you're listening, please come on the week. Dusty's not here. I'd love to have him. Now, I would love to have him when Dusty is here. I feel like if Dusty's not here and Neil DeGrasse Tyson sits in one weekend, I don't think Dusty's coming back. I think he's going. Let's get him, Bill Nye on. Bill and I don't like. Bill Nye, what a wise scientist. Fiona Colley, our friend, did some kind of event with Bill Nye.

Yeah. Something about, I don't even know. I don't think he was very nice to know. It was a charity event, wasn't it? It's something with Friedrichstaxia, I think. She spoke at something. He was there. Isn't that weird?

What a small world. What a smart guy, Bill and I. I marvel at his intelligence sometimes. Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill. him and Neil de Graz, what is it, NDT, yeah, I watch him and I go, gosh, what a wise bunch. Carl Sagan, were you a big Sagan guy back in the day? I've heard that name before and I'm sure he's genius too. I was trying to think so other scientists I know if I can't think of anybody else.

Watson and Crick, you're big fans of them? You know, I don't know them. I don't know. They were the people that claim to discover to somebody. cell. Okay. Which one? Watson or Crick? A jail. A jail cell. A lot of people think they... It's where they should have been. Yeah. A lot of people think they stole the idea from, stole it from somebody. Oh, DNA, not a cell. Sorry about that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But Rosalind Franklin apparently did it and then they stole it from her. Yeah. So, I mean,

two guys discovering something that small at the same time. I found it. I found it. They both got their faces smashed together at the microscope. Yeah, there it is, there it is. I said it first. Let's just share it. Right, Nessie? Yeah, I agree with you. I mean.

All right, the study of fish, you know what that's called? Fishology. Pectarianism? Pescotology. That's a good guess. Hold on. Let me think, let me.

Marine biology. I'm just kidding. Yeah, something, is it Latin? Aquatic life. Aquatism. All right, let me, can I give you a hint? Is it, yeah, is it zoology with a prefix? It is ology.

Okay. What did you say? Aquitism. Aquitism. It's a spectrum. I had a cousin, some aquitism growing up in Lebanon. It was the 80s. Yeah.

Can I give you a hint? Yes. Do you know what the Jesus fish is called? No. Do you know what it's called? No. I called you Brian. Yeah.

A decal. Yeah. You guys know? Manna. A what? Manna. This is an... Ethic.

Ithicthus. Yes. Yeah, I looked at it. Yes. Icthus. So it's called Ictology? Ethology is what it's called. Whoa!

From the Greek. Icthus, meaning fish. how about that now do they do sharks and stuff too or is it strictly fish no shark is a fish oh do they do dolphins and stuff or is it just fish

dolphins a mammal yeah that's what I'm saying so that yeah it's fish so like an ectologist would go I don't even worry I don't even care about dolphins

get out of here just give me the fish okay yeah yeah now there's three main groups of fish jawless fish I like that you did that

There's three Three types of fish It's held up four fingers Like it's the fourth quarter A Two I would say Small medium and big

Okay But this is jawless Jawless Which is like an eel Oh okay That's the slimyest of the bunch Yeah Would you eat an eel

Dussie? I think I have Back in the day Eating something like that And like sushi or whatever But I wouldn't do it now What about an octopus? I wouldn't eat it now.

Okay. Why now? Just personal preference? And octopus is unclean? Yeah. Oh, yeah. No. Because of the ink?

I mean, it's just because, I mean, it doesn't have... They do get pretty messy. It doesn't have scales. It doesn't have fins. Octopus is considered an unclean animal in biblical dietary. Well, they didn't know about octopi back then. Well, they may not, but God was like, hey, listen, when you find these, don't eat it. Though opinions vary, depending on what.

whether you mean ceremonial, environmentally, or hygienic. People love to try to get so detailed with it to justify doing it. They go, well, I'm not doing it ceremonially. They're just trying to figure out that you're doing it the right way. Yeah, I mean, it just says it's pretty plain. Don't eat this. But it doesn't say don't eat octopus in the Bible, right? Well, it's like, you know, it talks about not eating creepy, crawly things.

It's just creepy crawly in the Bible. That's a Miss Rachel song. I think it does say that. It's the Miss Rachel edition. Fe-crawly? Yeah, don't eat them. The creeping things. Yeah.

It doesn't really say creeping. Yeah, it does say creeping. It doesn't say creepy crawly. Like a roly. It may not say crawly, but I think it says crawling. Oh, okay. If it's just, you know. So anything that crawls?

Yeah. If you say yuckers when you see it, then it's probably not going to be in. Yeah, probably not. Yeah. You're told a lot of things about nicotine. It'll help your energy. Do you ever hear that? Yeah.

You know, if you're at work or about to do a show or any place you need some extra energy, you think, hey, nicotine will give you what you need to get back in there. Now, looking back, you're probably, you're on edge, your heart's racing, and you're not getting that many positive effects from. Nicotine is a vaso-constrictor. I've always said that. So it narrows your blood vessels and can work against what you're trying to do, whether that's at the gym or just day-to-day life. That's why you should use ultra-pouches. They are a complete game changer. I've been using them off and on since February. They give me that focus and energy without nicotine or caffeine. They use

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Yeah. You got to get all the barnacles off this show. old stuff. Cartilage fish. Like a shark. Like a shark. Yep. And then bony fish, which is...

That's what we mostly think of. That's what a scientist would call it. A bony fish? Yeah, fish with hard skeletons made of bone. Okay. Which is the most of the fish we think of. There's 33,000 species of fish. That we know of.

Yeah. You're right that we know of. Keep an eye out for that. Yeah. What number isn't ominous? Now, 23 is omit. Seven means something. 70 means something.

77, 33, 23. There's a lot of them. Yeah, okay. Well, I don't even know what, 33's bad, so I'm not going to ask why 23's bad, but they're just bad. I'm not saying it's bad. It just pops up a lot. He always see a news report, and they go, oh, 33 dead. Oh, killed at 3.33. In numerology, the number 33. Jesus was dead. 33. He lived at 33 years old. Number 33 is a rare and powerful master number, known as the master teacher.

master healer. Yeah. Oh, boy. Bugh. I don't like that. I don't either. It's considered the most spiritually evolved of the master numbers after 11 and 22. Why would not 44 be more evolved than 33?

And even 55. I can keep going. 66. Yeah. A lot of running backs are 33. 33. Larry Bird. It's a great number.

Is that his number? Yeah. Hmm. Look how good he was. You know what I mean? Jordan was 23. Yeah. Yeah.

Mickey Manel was 7. LeBron 23. Yeah. Yeah. But technically, there's no such thing as a fish. Alan Kowicki was 7. Okay. Okay.

So it's like a vegetable situation. A little bit, a little bit. They all can trace their lineage through some other animals. You know how like birds or dinosaurs? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we know that.

Yeah. So like a salmon's more closely related to a camel than it is. Like a goldfish? Yeah. Wow. Your algorithms off, man. But I think we both agree, we're a descendant of fish. Yes.

Yeah. Right, Dusty? Yeah, sure. Day gone. I don't know. Oh, well, 400 million years ago, we climbed out of the water. What are you doing? Why are you doing?

I like it. Let's hear it. I want to hear it. Four hundred million years ago. My understanding is I want you to finish. But what I'm coming into this is that the descendants, the ancient descendants of human beings. Yes. Were water-dwelling creatures, like almost like a dolphin and then they ended up coming on land. Right? What happened that made them go? We've got to get out of here. I'm not saying. I don't think it was one guy making it. There.

It wasn't one guy going, guys, we got to get on land. I'm not saying it was. I'm not sample. Okay, we'll keep going. There's 400 million years. Scientists say we're descendants from salmon, goldfish, and sharks. We crawled out of the water 400 million years ago. And we still carry physical reminders of our aquatic pass today.

We got a little aquitism. I got web feet. Yeah. Yeah. Human. Yeah, you might have a little bit more than the rest of them. I'm a good swimmer. Yeah.

you might have evolved a bit later than the rest of us. Yeah. Human embryos temporarily develop gill-like structures on their neck. Yeah. And the tissue of our jaw and face fused together in ways that mirror our ancient ancestors, the fish. Wow. And simple reflexes like hiccups are evolutionary leftovers from ancestral breathing mechanisms.

So the reason we have hiccups, Dusties, because we used to live in the water. That makes sense. Whoa. I thought I got hiccups randomly this weekend. And they, at my age, I hadn't had hiccups in water. Well, it hurt. Yeah. They were hurting.

Put some muscle. I went on a real Googling frenzy because I kept hiccubing and my wrist was hurting. Wow. I would hiccup and my wrist hurt. I was like, what got tied up in my body? And if they say, if you chug water, your hiccups go away. I tried everything. Maybe you're like.

I said, Jay, scare me. It's the fish in you that's needing that water. Yeah. Maybe. Yeah. Makes sense. But a hiccup will. Did Jay scare you?

It just went away with time. Yeah. When it just won't stop, it hurt and my wrist hurt. And apparently I got some kind of nerve issue I got to work out. Wow. Yeah, according to Google. So if you sometimes would sneeze and your wrist hurts, that means all your nerves are all tied up in knots. I've had some sneezes before where you get referred pain.

My whole body. You get referred pain from a sneeze? I don't know what that means. Like you feel the pain somewhere else? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. But, yeah, I mean, for sure, for sure our nerves are shot sometimes.

Well, this is 400 million years of evolution. We're flying way up in the air and all the, you ever take a banana up on a plane with you? No. And you don't eat it and it comes back down. And that banana's ruined, man. Is that true? On one flight? It's all brown and it's, it ruins it.

You telling me, you bring a yellow right banana on a flight. Yeah. A two-hour flight. It'll be brown. Sometimes it's brown. Sometimes just inside it's real mushy. What? Yeah, just crushing. How has this never come up in our 10 years of friendship?

You can take a water bottle up here. Sometimes you get off the plane and it's all smashed up like that. It's wrecking our insides. Can you bring bananas on a flight? And I got an answer from TSA. It's not quite what I'm looking for. TSI is like, yeah, bring a banana. We'll swab it.

But you don't have a bomb in there. But we'll run a test on it. A banana can easily, okay, this is not. not what I'm asking either. It says you can bruise a banana by squishing it into a packed bag. Is that what you're doing? Are you shoving it in your backpack before you get on the flight? My grapes are always fine.

Okay, well, grape is got a little more rigid. Actually, it can ruin some grapes, too, though. It can make them, it can. Airplanes are not good for us. We have to do it, but it's not good for us. This one says cold temps can make a banana blacken really fast. Yeah. Yeah, but that's not why it would go bad on a flight.

I'm just saying, just try it. Take some bananas with you this weekend. I'm going to bring a bunch. Yeah. Literally a bunch. Yeah, yeah. So when you're on a flight, you eat bananas, grapes, what else? Well, you know, typically I'll make a grocery store run and I'll buy a bunch of fruit.

And if the fruit, if I still have it, I take it back with me. Oh, so it's the flight home. Yeah. It's the flight home. I've been known to. I've been known to eat cheese off a block. with a big loaf of bread out there in the airport. I'm taking stuff.

Who cares? Yeah, who cares, yeah. But not on the plane. Oh, yeah. I mean, I'll eat on the plane, too, you know. Yeah. Where do you put the block? Block of cheese?

Yeah. It's in my hand. I'm picturing like a cheese wheel. Is that what you're going? No, not that big. You know, just a little block. Okay. Just a little block.

A little piece of it. Some Gouda? Yeah. Scientists estimate there are about 3.5 trillion fish living in the world's oceans. Wow. It's a lot. I believe that. You do?

Yeah, I mean, the ocean's huge. Yeah. And deep, and we don't know what's going on down there. We really don't. No. Deep down, we don't know. What do you think's going on in? I think there's a whole world going on there that we don't know about.

Like Atlanta's type stuff? Like, I don't think people are living down there, but there's like all kind of animals we've never seen. Wow. Unclean, probably. All unclean. Yeah. Or maybe. I'd say you're right.

That's where the most clean animals are out. Yeah. Not been able to tap into it. Starfish don't actually have a brain. Well, that's why Patrick on SpongeBob is so dumb. That's right. Okay. That's after your time.

Yeah. Yeah. But SpongeBob, Squarepants. Yeah. You've heard of it. Yes. He's a sponge. And he looks like a kitchen sponge, but his parents weirdly look like actual sponges.

Yeah. So I don't know why he looks like a kitchen sponge. Does he also wear pants? He does wear pants and a tie. And he's a fried cook. Creative choice. The first two seasons of SpongeBob are really good. And then they kind of like, I think they killed the guy.

So this is. And SpongeBob? Yeah. The main guy that created it. And then. And then the show got. Yeah. And they hijacked it.

Yeah, a different vibe for sure. This is what SpongeBob's parents look like. Those look like natural sponges. Yeah. But then they apparently gave birth to. like a scrub daddy. Maybe he was adopted. Yeah.

You know what? I've never seen SpongeBob's parents. They made a few appearances. It was a big day from me. Early on. And then his neighbor, he lives next to a squid. His dad looks like Mr. Potato Hat. He does a little bit, but I think that's what natural sponges look like. If you look up what an actual sponge looks like in the, that's what they look like.

Oh, yeah. Just like a little ball of nothing. So that's what his parents look like. So he's a sponge and he lives next door. He's got a wacky neighborhood. He's got a squid that lives right next door who's like kind of the you of the neighborhood. Just kind of mad. Everybody's having fun and he's like, nah, I just want to play clarinet.

And then next to him under a rock lives a starfish named Patrick and he's a dummy. Real dumb. Just to bring it back to Starfish don't have brains. And also his boss is a crab who somehow his daughter is a whale, which is never really explained. that a crab gave birth to a whale. We never meet Mrs. Crabs. I don't know what kind of animal she is. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. And then everybody else is fish. Yeah. Well, there's Larry the Lobster. Sandy. Sandy's a squirrel. Yeah, she lives. She wears a...

She has to wear a spacesuit around. Bikini Bottom. That's the name of the town. Space suit, interestingly enough, because they, you know, they film space underwater. That's right. You guys know the song Baby Baluka? No. No.

Oh, baby. A baby. Oh, you did send that to me. Yes, it was a banger. You did say that. Because it is. My daughter listens to it. I don't even mind.

You're listening to the Lori Berkner band? Yeah, absolutely. Okay, she has a song. Let's go swimming. Let's go swimming. Let's go swimming. That song has gone. Triple platinum in the Weber House.

Yeah. Olive loves that song. Yeah. Gets me fired up too. Wait a minute. There are breaks in the middle. We're fish. We don't brush our teeth.

Yeah. We've said it before, but it happened again. This could be about anything. I found out I was paying for a subscription. I had twice. Oh, no. But luckily, because I use Rocket Money, I caught it right away this time. Plus, they even help me cancel it.

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Laurie Berkner band has a song called Opelika Alabama. Does she really? Yeah, she does. Why? I don't know. It doesn't make any sense. I thought she did kids songs. The song doesn't make.

If you're all the way down to Opa like Alabama, you should just retire and stop writing songs. She has a song about Ohio. That's pretty big. Okay. Opa like Alabama. Yeah. I got to check that one out. My daughter turned me on to Herman the Worm.

Herman the Worm. Yeah. She told me that one other day. Who's that? That's a song. It's not a guy. He's a worm. Okay.

And so she turns about a pink pony club by Chapel Rowan. You know what? My wife likes that song and my kids like it and they put it on. Pink Pony Club? Yeah, and they put it on in the car and I'll be honest with you. It's not my kind of music, but I don't mind it. Yeah. I don't mind it.

There are a few. She came home preschool and her teachers will listen to it. I'm like, I don't even know who the singer is. I don't mind it. There are some songs on that album that I would not recommend you listen to with your wife. Well, I don't think that one is even should be listening. I mean, I think it's about a, you know. Yeah, it's catchy though.

Yeah, it's about a dance club. Yes. I pulled up the video. Special dance club. Special dance club. Special dance club. Well, that's what my daughter listens to. Do fish sleep?

You guys ever wondered that? That's a great question. Yes. Great question. We don't know because we don't work here at night. But, you know, that's a joke. That's an experience that happened to me and Aaron in a... Minneapolis, right?

Grand Rapids, Michigan. No, Duluth, Minnesota. Duluth, Minnesota. At the aquarium there. And they're very nice. They're nice people. They made a couple videos talking about us. Yeah, I trashed him.

You didn't really trash them. But that happened to us. And then Aaron did that joke a couple of times. And time went by. And I never saw Aaron doing the joke. And I said to Aaron, I go, you're still doing that joke? What's going on with that joke? He goes, nah, I never could.

Never liked it really or whatever. And I go, can I have it? I said, here's what actually happened. I said, I think that's going to be my new closer. And Dusty goes, well, I'm doing it on the tonight. sure this week. That's not what happened. No, it was the thing we experienced together and I talked about it first and then you were like, I can do more with it. Yeah. And you did. I got a lot of fish jokes. So you already had a fish chunk. Yeah. Let me slide that in the fish. Yeah. And then I put all

the fish chunk together on an album called Crockpot Comedy. And so if you want to hear all my fish jokes, that's on Spotify. Well, the answer is, just if you want to hear it. Do they actually sleep? That's what we need to know. Not exactly. Oh, geez. They don't have eyelids, so they can't close their eyes to sleep. Wow. That's unfortunate. They do.

I mean, they probably don't snore either. That's not really what we're talking about. They do, they do. Do they shut down? They kind of doze off a little bit as they float through the water. They don't go to a deep unconscious sleep. They enter a resting state where their metabolism and breathing slow down. Okay, so they don't have dreams.

No ambitions. They don't have around. Sometimes I feel like I'm still awake and I realize when I'm falling asleep, like, man, I'm thinking some crazy. stuff. Yeah. Have you ever lucid dreamed? I don't,

oh, like when you know you're in the dream and you still do it. I don't know if I have or not. You can apparently train yourself to do it.

Yeah, they say through meditation, you can. Lucid dream. That's how they get you, Dusty. I know, that's why I don't mess with it.

Yeah. Yeah, just get in this yoga pose. Yeah. Yeah. I used to be into dream stuff though back in the day. Do you guys,

I'll just let that sit. I don't know what that means. You know, when I was young, You know, you're younger. Well, yeah, like, you know, you read books about dreams and, you know, you really get into it and you try to interpret your dreams. Yeah. I was all.

I mean, they do that in the Bible. I think they do a little dream interpretation. They mean nothing. I don't think so. I have to believe they mean nothing. I mean, I think. I'm having some random dreams. Yeah, I think some of them mean nothing.

But, uh, I don't know. But you mean they mean nothing about the future. I think you could pinpoint something going on your life at times while you had that dream. Maybe. That's what they say. Yeah. I turn into dusty. Yeah. Well, I mean, I think they can mean something.

Okay. I don't think they all do. Okay. Mm-hmm. You have some dreams that are obvious why you had it, though, right? Most of them are like, what was that? But sometimes I'll have a dream, like, what's obvious why? I had a recurring nightmare and I was growing up that the fence posts in my backyard turned into an evil face.

And they were yelling stuff at me. Like, what does that mean? Uh, you got some issues. Well, we would have to know what's more going. Better help what that means. We'd have to know more what's going on in your life. I had a great childhood. But you would kind of think that it's a fence post, so it's holding a fence, which is, you know, guard rails.

Yes. And you're, you know, so your guard rails are yelling at you all the time, keeping you in place, and maybe you feel trapped. So my brain, that's deep. My seven-year-old brain is creating elaborate poetic metaphors about what's going on in my life. Or maybe, yeah, maybe. Okay. It's pretty impressive. Bring you a lot of bones then?

At seven. Maybe at seven you were feeling trapped. Yeah. And you were like, I just wish I could, you know, get beyond some of this. I want to see more.

I want to experience more. I want to move to Hiddersonville, Tennessee. Yeah. I could maybe get that if you're an adult, your brain can make this. I didn't know what. I'm seven years old. I don't know about any.

I don't have symbolism that I'm creating in my own brain. Yeah. Maybe. Who knows? Anyway, fish. You guys, I can keep going. If you want to keep doing dreams, what kind of dreams are you having these days?

I don't know. I don't feel like I'm really having a lot of dreams. And I almost immediately forget them, you know? You know, a couple weeks ago. Sometimes I'll go, oh, I had a, I dreamed about this. And then I'll tell it to my wife or whatever. And then it's gone. That was yesterday.

There's nothing worse than hearing stories about people's dreams. Yeah. You know what, the only thing worse than that is hearing about people's parlayes. Yeah. You go, I almost had the blah, blah, blah. Especially when they didn't even win. Yeah, you guys, I don't, I don't care. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A couple weeks ago, we did a philosophy episode, and we were talking about famous quotes. Somebody said, I have a dream. And then I think it was you the joke, JFK. Was it you that said that? Yeah, that's what happened. Okay, yeah. You were kidding around. Oh, oh, saying that that was his quote.

Yes, you're a comedian. And a lot of people called us out, like, how could you guys not know that was Martin Luther King? Oh, that's crazy. I just want to make it clear people. We were joking. No, Martin Luther King was the ass-not. Yeah. Martin Luther King was the president.

Martin Luther King was I have a dream. JFK was four scores in years. You're doubling down. He's a president, right? Yeah, I can't remember him. I'm not a crook. Yeah. That was JFK.

All right. Have you heard that Goldfish only have three-second memories? I have heard that. Is it probably a myth? Is it more like seven seconds? 33 seconds? They can be trained to recognize specific. color, shape, sounds, and feeding times.

Who's training a goldfish? People. A scientist with a lot of grant money. You mean just the... That's our taxes. But like a family can train a goldfish? I don't know if a family can, but scientists can. I bet Neil deGrasse Tyson.

He's got a little goldfish circus in his house. A little goldfish can get bored and get depressed. Oh, I'm sure they are. And these aquariums? Yeah. Where you only got like a, you know, a treasure chest and a little castle. But even that is more so many people. And I wasn't even aware of this until like later in life.

It's just something you never think about. Like a fish does need all kinds of stuff that most people just don't get. How many people do you know growing up, you know, they're literally just like a bowl and they put a fish in there. And that's their life. Like they do need, like, filtered and, like, temperature control. There's all that basic stuff that most people just don't give a fish. I know. They don't care.

Pretty sad. Because they don't think fish. That's probably why they're... But I don't think people mean badly. They just don't know. But they got no... They put no value on them. And then when you buy a fish, they give them a little...

Here's a plastic bag with a fish. Yeah. It's a bad start. Yeah. We think goatfish don't live very long, but it's mainly because of that. They're just dying. They can live for years if they're properly taken care of. And they grow to fit the size of the tank that they're...

they're in. Yeah, that's a myth too. I don't think so, though. I think some fish can't, but not all. He points to this paper. I still got Herman the Worm pulled up on my there. Well, let me

before I move to that, so fish can get bored. If you see them swimming up and down the glass repeatedly, they can signal stress or lack of stimulation. Lethargy, sitting motionless in a corner, showing no normal activity. So, it says to help them out,

you got to mix your tank up, move some plants around, some caves. And if you got to, you know, let's put a castle in. Yeah. Put a bait of fighting fish in there. Spice it up a bit. Rearrange the layout. Be a rearranger. Yeah.

Rearranged. Be the unmoved mover. Yeah, be the unmoved mover, you know. So it would probably help if they didn't have memory, right? Then they'd swim over like that. Yeah. Well, that's what I'm saying. I think people like that idea because.

Makes them feel better. As a joke that I have, you swim over to the castle and you go, oh, I got a castle in here. And then you swim back up. and you go, oh, I had a treasure chest. And then he swam back over to the other side. He goes, oh, I got a castle in there. It's exciting. Very first time we ever did a show together,

first time I met you, you did that joke. Yeah. It's Ains. Crushed. Hilarious. Why do you think I care, and I don't think I'm alone. I don't know if you care. Why do you think I care less about a fish than other animals?

They seem like they have less personality. You think it's personality? Yeah, I guess that makes sense. But obviously all of us, we would care more about a dog than a fish. You can hold a dog. Probably not dusty. Pet a dog. I mean, if you could touch it.

Yeah, but why, because you can have a relationship with other animals. That's why dogs are more popular than even cats, I think, because of personality. But even you'd care more about a cat than a fish, right? Oh, sure. Yeah. And like almost any land animal, you'd care more than a, with a few exceptions. You know, an otter. I think it has stuff to do with how connected you become.

I'm really like, I'm like, you know, I used to kill insects nonstop when I was a kid. And now, like, I don't want to kill anything. I'm like, I don't even like to kill a plant. I'm like, I don't know. I just care about life. What about, I'm trying to think, but like a snake, like you have a pet snake. You don't have much of a relationship with that snake, right? You're kind of just looking at it most of the time.

Some people hold them and carry them around. Yeah, I guess you can't scoop out your fish and hold it for a little bit and play with it. You like snakes? No, I don't like snakes. But I don't, you know, I don't want to hurt them. I ran over a snake with a lawnmower not long ago, and I felt real bad about it. I felt sad for Satan's vessel when you felt bad about it. Okay.

Well, there's some debate about one. That was really a snake. I've told the story before. Tell yourself that, Dusty. My hamster was dying and my mom fed it to my brother's snake while I was at school. She goes, it was dying. And then that night you had a dream about a fence post. Yeah, exactly.

You're having nightmares? I wonder why. I mean, it's just a thrifty move from my mom. Like, well, we got food here. It's dying. Thrifty's one way to get it. Let's just feed Skunky to Slither. Yeah.

So Slyther ate skunky. And then eventually, I mean, within months, Slyther got out of its cage and got eaten by the family dog. Wow. Yeah. So we had a little food. chain going. What happened to the dog?

We had to eat the dog. Just kept going. All clownfish are born male, but the dominant male will permanently change it to a female if the reigning female does. This feels like all of my jokes. Well, it's a good place to start, does you? Yeah, I mean, this is, yeah. I'm trying to set you up.

Yeah. Is this the most iconic fish, a clownfish? Because I think when you think of a fun fish, this is kind of what you're thinking in your head. Is this Nemo? That's what Nemo is, a clownfish, yeah. I think it's even pre-nemo, I would think that. I don't know. I don't know why.

But it's a fun-looking fish. Yeah. But did you know that fact? No, I didn't. I mean, I don't. The larger of the two will change into a female if they're in a cage so they can procreate. How's the joke? What?

Well, the... Is it dirty? Yeah. Oh, sort of. It's unclean. Yeah. It's not a dirty joke, but it's not a clean joke. It's dusty.

Yeah, exactly. There's a fish called a sargastle fish. I've heard of that. There is, yeah. I'm just doing all dusty's material. All right. Do you guys know why Christians use the fish symbol? I've heard a reason.

Do you want to share it? Yeah, well, I felt like Aaron wanted it. Oh, okay. No, no, I had no idea. This is what some people would say that like, There was a time when like Christians were like being persecuted, but they were trying to communicate with each other. So one would come up and try to kind of draw this thing in the sand.

And if the other person was a Christian, they would draw the other and make the fish. And then they would know the code. They would know that they were both Christians. That's something I heard. That's the tradition. I had heard that, but I didn't know that it was an acronym. Is that in there?

Yep. I mean, it's a Greek letter. Yeah. But it means Jesus Christ, God's son, savior. Wow. Yeah. Doesn't quite work in the English word for fish. No.

Father in... Salvation. Salvation heaven. Yeah. It's not as captain. Yeah. That's come up with something else. You always heard, if you go fishing,

keep quiet. Don't be talking loud. Truth is, fish cannot hear above water. Oh, I guess that's just for our benefit. Let's just chill out and relax. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, like stop yelling out here. We're having a peaceful day.

Don't put your Bluetooth speaker on the boat. They can feel vibrations. So if you're... So, like, turn the boat motor off. Or stomping on the dock or something like that. But they cannot... They don't have ears, first of all. And then water...

The sound doesn't... Turn the Jason Aldeen down while we're out here fishing. Just take it easy. There's a real... epidemic on hikes. anywhere you go hiking, people. I know. You get to like the viewpoint, you know, the payoff for my hike. People sit on there with the Bluetooth.

People can't handle silence. Come on, man. They're demons. They're killing them. For everybody else. Put headphones in. I know. You still hiking? Is that kind of your go-to thing on the road?

Yeah, for the most part. I haven't, this summer, it's been everywhere I've been, it's been brutal. Yeah. I got like, I brought all my hiking stuff to Phoenix, like an idiot. I didn't even thinking about weather. I'm like, oh, there's so many cool people. places around and then I landed and my you know they were like you shouldn't go outside all weekend so I didn't to your credit you've been doing that a while though I have been yeah I remember you took

up golf for a while you still play some golf but a little bit you got a long period where you didn't I guess yeah but hiking hiking I've been doing for we went hiking in Salt Lake City yeah three years ago yeah it was a good time yeah remember I just got a drone yeah I've got a weird folder on my computer just bunch of drone footage of Brian hiking because I was trying to Figure how to use it. Well, you got to put that together. Just edit it with some music. Just Brian's tour dates.

Make it look like a prescription medication commercial. I don't think I like this. But it could be for your tour dates. I think that'd be fun. Sky Rizziness. Yeah. For depression. You don't come to my show.

I just have a lot of just 4K beautiful footage of Brian walking through the woods. Oh, yeah. I was like, Brian, just walk. I'm going to try to get it to track you. You did make a video. I think you promoted. the upcoming show. You had me run,

which is very dangerous, me under the controls. No, it's safe. They're all kinds of safeguards. I bet I had a joke from that hike, if you remember. Oh, I do remember that. Yeah, so.

Good stuff. You like with me more often. Get some more jokes. Yeah. That sounded mean for no reason. I didn't mean it like that. Do fish grow to their tank size? The answer is no.

It says, most uneducated people think that. who live in trailer parks and Mike Dell our heart. Now, the answer doesn't make sense because it seems like they do. It says fish do not naturally stop growing

to fit their tank, rather a small tank physically stunts their growth. But then if you took them out and put them in a larger tank, they would start growing again. Yeah, so it sounds like it does. It does.

Yeah. This is a myth, but it's also true. So they wouldn't grow bigger to try to match a bit tank, but if they're bigger than their tank that are originally in, they'll stop until they get to a bigger one. If you took a human child and just kept them in a box, you'd be smaller. I think they would die.

Yeah. Let's test it. Their growth, their growth would be done it. Yeah. Sure. Do fish ever get seasick? You ever wonder that? No, can't say I ever have.

If a fish just got sick, that would be seasick, right? Yeah, I guess that's true. Yeah. Is there always some, not if they're in their fish tank. Yeah. They're not in the sea. If you're getting seasick in a fish tank, there's a real problem. Yeah.

What do you think, I'll get back to the seasick. What do you think happened with fish during Noah's army? I think they just stayed in the water. Oh, so they were good. There was no need to put fish on the boat. Oh, okay. Because it was just flooded in. Right, right, right.

But wasn't the heavy rains, like, just beat them down and probably, they're like... I think the fish were probably living the time of their life. They were like, finally. A little bit of rain out there. Yeah, they probably grew huge. Yeah, a little elbow room finally. Yeah. I'm guessing they don't get seasick because they don't have ears.

Um, right? Yes. They can get seasick. Okay. Get motion sickness and disoriented. Uh, they tested this. Zoologist, Dr. Reinhold, Hillbig. Of course it was.

Place 49 fish in a small aquarium on a plane that performed a steep dive to simulate zero gravity. Several fish became disoriented, lost their balance, swam in circles, and showed distress as if they were about to vomit. Oh. I like how they're like, do they get seasick? I don't know. Put them on a plane. Put 50 of them.

Zero gravity. Yeah. Just put them in a plane. Yeah. You got seasick. You're like, how was it an airplane? I had a joke once where I said

whenever fish get caught and then throw them back in the water, it's like our version of alien abduction. Yeah. Like their friends don't believe you, you know? And I told it one night at Spankies. and Monty Mitchell come up to me afterwards, and he was like, you know, Kathleen Madigan has that same joke.

Oh. And I'm like, oh, okay. I didn't know it. So I stopped telling it. But since then, I've heard John Caparillo tell it. And I feel like even Bill Murray tweeted it or something. So it's a pretty hacked job. Yeah, yeah.

I thought I was so original. I tried to tell a joke like that one time about a bird. I found a baby bird on the ground. And I like, I got it. and then I brought it in and I tried to like feed it worms. And I was like kind of shoving the worms down the bird's throat. He's like, let me out of here. And then eventually I was like, oh, I think the nest is right over there.

So then I like climbed up a ladder and put the bird back in the nest. And what stories that bird must be telling? One time one of those guys got me. And I thought that would be like their alien abduction story. Yeah. Yeah, that's. That bird probably died. Have you heard a jaum from?

Now. Where's he from? Well, that's, it was a hundreds of years ago. Didn't get what it deserved. Hundreds of years ago, a cargo ship got stranded on a remote island in the Pacific. And he told everybody, I'm John from England. And they misheard him and said, they thought his name was John from. Oh. And he was basically to them, this kind of futuristic man showing up with all this crazy technology.

And then he left. and since he's left, they've built an entire religion around John From. Wow. Where's this? Because in their history, this guy showed up out of nowhere, and he's like, I got all this stuff. And they're like, wow, and then he's gone. Wow. Right?

This is on the island of Tanna in Vanuatu. Yeah. Maybe it wasn't hundreds of years ago. Maybe it was more recent than that. But they've got a religion built around this guy. The John From Cargo Colt. Wow. Isn't that crazy?

That is crazy. Did he have his own Wikipedia page? Just wonder what years he lived. John From? Yeah. Yeah, I'm got to find the actual guy. I don't know if we know who the actual... They look like he does.

No, I don't know if we know who the actual guy is. But they just call him John From. Yeah. Wow, that's fascinating. Yeah. The longest fish migration on record, there was a bluefish tuna that was tagged, and it swam 5,800.

miles. In one season or in a lifetime? Dusty, you think you can knock that out in a day? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I used to swim with the tunas. Yeah. My friend, Grant, that I met in Portsmouth, though,

he does go tuna fishing and he says that it can take hours to reel in a tuna. A single tuna? Yeah, they're so. And then he showed some of them. that they caught. And I mean, they're as big as him, bigger than him.

It's insane. Have you seen those videos where they electrify the water and the fish just jump out everywhere? That's crazy. Yeah. It's probably not good.

We're doing that. Probably not. But it works really well, huh? I did Google if lightning strikes water, will it kill the fish? And it said, probably not. Really?

They happen to be right up at the top because... That'd be bad luck. Yeah. It don't even need to be up to the service. I mean, there's no reason for them to be up there? Yeah.

But like if somebody, like a bird drops something or something. Oh, okay. But most likely we'll not kill them. Yeah, this, I didn't know they were this big. It's huge. It fit all that in a little can. Things massive. Do you ever have one of those that sang on your wall?

Like a billy bass? Yeah, Billy Bass. I don't know it was a bass. But yeah, do you ever have one? Take me to the river. Drop me in the water. Yeah. Yeah, I did.

That was almost like a pet rock. It was a, right? It was a cultural moment. I mean, it was so technologically advanced for the time. I mean, people were like... There was episode of Sopratos. Kind of around Billy Bass. I never watched it.

Really? Yeah, Billy Bass was a very popular Christmas gift. Yeah. For a couple years. I would still like one. I'd put one up at the house. I'll get you one. We should put one back here.

I love it. Yeah, just have to go off during the episode. Yeah. Some fish make for life, the dumb ones. That's a joke. Sea horses often make for life. Some of them just do it during a breeding season. But some do stick together for life.

And they even perform a daily morning greeting dance to strengthen their bond. So they do a little romance. A greeting dance? greeting dance. Like what? Can you act it out? Sure. Can I stand up for this?

Yeah. Well, I don't want to, the people listening, I don't want to keep them from it. You don't want to exclude them. You know, Abby, Abigail. Get on the table. Abigail. Let's spice it up. Couty ugly.

Yeah. Abigail sent us, uh, she's, she's got a couple of seahorses. And she sent us some, oh, that's right. Yeah, where's that at? Uh, that email she sent us. Oh, perfect. Does you ever hit sea horses? No.

I've seen them in an aquarium, but, you know, I think once I raise all my tadpoles and release all my frogs, I think I might get into some kind of aquarium stuff. I might get some, maybe I'll get some seahorses. It's very hard to spot because it's apparently the same colors are. It looks a little better on my laptop than it does on that screen right there, but that's the scene there. They're tiny little guys or girls, who knows. They got some weird tendencies. I don't know the right way to put it. The men.

The men, yes. The women get pregnant, but then they give it to the man to hold it. Yeah. The men get pregnant with the eggs. We've talked about this before. And,

you know, I'm always like, well, that sounds like the woman. They go, no, but it's the man. I go,

I don't think so. Yeah. I think you just got it wrong, buddy. Yeah. I think an octopus can impregnate itself, I think. She has... What's unclean.

Abigail has three seahorses. She named them Brian, Aaron, and Dusty. Oh. That's kind of sweet. She said that was a joke. Kind of. Oh. Psychotic, I think.

I'm J.K. Their names are Happy, Danny, and Montana. Wow. I take back everything I said. Yeah. I think what she said first was true, and then she goes, ah, that sounds crazy. So I go, Jake, J.K.,

She also told me one of them already died, so that one was brides. This was afraid of it. Now because we've talked about it, the others will die. Oh, yeah. Because I mention it. Greenland sharks can live up to

400 years. Isn't that crazy? Do we have ones that we've been keeping track of for that long? Estimated in lifespan ranging from 272 to over 500 years. Yeah, some of these things like sea turtles and stuff.

I mean, they live so long. Mm-hmm. Why? Why do they live that long? They just get left alone. Nobody bother them. I guess so. If nobody prays on them.

And maybe you're just floating around. I mean, ah, man, I think it'd be great to be able to live underwater, breathe underwater. Dessie, do you believe mermaids ever existed? Yeah, to some extent. Can you expand on that? Well, I don't think that they probably,

Well, I don't think that they're like what, like, they're not like aerial. Mm-hmm. But I think like these, you know, they're like sirens or whatever, you know, and these sailors said they would see them. Yeah, they would like, like lure them into the water and then kill them. Yeah, but even those were like beautiful, look like, you know, I don't know. I think the ocean has a lot of weird stuff that we don't know nothing about. And I think that's one of them.

You know, Christopher Columbus wrote in his diaries that they saw mermaids. Yeah, and then it turned out to be. They were manatees. Yeah, you guys told me that. And they were like, they were not as pretty as everybody said they were. Yeah. But I don't know. I just feel like, 2 a.m.

I just feel like a lot of this stuff that they write that they're like. Far's closing. I didn't even mind the mustache. But that it's like. That's a walrus. Okay. And, and, but, you know, that we think everything's fantasy and that these people just had these amazing imaginations. I think they saw it.

I think they really saw it. Yeah. I got pictures of manatee's pulled up. They are tough looking, man. Yeah. I don't think I'm only out of sea. I don't think I'm confusing that as a mermaid. Well, if you've never seen a manatee before, you're like, what is that? It looks, you know, like 5% human-o?

But if that exists, and then, you know, most of it. If a monkey, if you had a fish with a monkey face, you'd be like, that's a mermaid. Yeah. And I just think if a monkey exists, this exists, why couldn't a mermaid exist? Apparently there is a fish called the monkey face prickleback. Yeah, I mean, come on. The monkey face prickleback. I mean, that's a species of prickleback.

That's one of the best insults I've ever heard. I'll listen to a little prickleback back back. high school. A little butt rock. On the Nateland cruise, that was the only time I've ever been out on a ship. I mean, I know that was the Gulf. That was it technically. I guess it's part of the Atlantic Ocean.

Yeah, it's the ocean. But, you know, you're going across there, and it's night, and I'd go out on my deck, and it's just pitch black. Nothing. Nothing. And you think about these sailors hundreds or thousands of years ago that had no modern navigation system. It's crazy.

Yeah. No telling what they encountered. It's crazy. They're just falling the moon in the stars. And they had scurvy. Yeah, and like no motorboat and like... And not a T's girlfriend. And no wind at some point.

You're just sitting out there. Yeah. Silence. Even on the ship, you like hear the engine. You know, but like... I don't think the mermaid looks like aerial. But I think there's something like that. Yeah, yeah. We can stop there. All right.

That was fish. We actually talked a lot about fish today. We did. More than we talked about radio last week. Well, I'm into fish, though. I like that. I mean, I think the ocean's very fascinating. That's the key.

That's where I start. You got to find something. The ocean is very fascinating. Yeah. I mean, it's just a whole world that like it's more than land, right? Like the ocean, there's more oceans than land. Yeah. And there's still so many land places that are like feel unexplored.

And yet... Can you name all the oceans? Well, I feel... The Atlantic Ocean, the Pacific Ocean, the Indian Ocean, the... Pacific Ocean. The... There's seven? Yes.

I thought there were three. I can't do it. Indian? I said Indian. Yeah. Okay. I thought there were four. Arctic?

Arctic, yeah. Are there seven? Seven continents. The Arctic, North Atlantic. Oh, this is a. Yeah, you really certainly. North Atlantic, South Atlantic, North Pacific, South Pacific, Indian. I think we did.

We nailed them. I don't know why. I thought there were seven. So there's four? Earth's five main oceans. Oh, Southern Ocean is the one we missed. Seven continents. I never heard Southern Ocean in my whole life.

I don't think I have. either. I think that's new. It's made up. I think we nailed it. The Antarctic Ocean. That's... Was that an ocean? I don't think so. I mean, then it froze, yeah. All right. That continent doesn't exist. I was thinking of it because they say the seven seas. But there's sea, there's sea, but there's seas and there's oceans. I know, but when they say seven seas, they mean the oceans, which is also confusing. Will you look up why they call the seven seas? I'm curious now. Why called the seven seas. It's an old phrase that means all the waters or oceans in the world. There's really only one, though.

I mean, it's like they're all connected. The number seven was used in ancient times as a symbolic way to say many. It's numerology. Yeah. The seven seas. 33 seems like too many. The 33 Cs. It's daunting, doesn't it?

Yeah. Baskin Robbins. Yeah. 30. How many flavors? How many flavors? How many flavors? 31?

one? 23 flavors and ingredients in Dr. Pepper. Basket Ramen's 1,400 flavors throughout its history, but they have 31

at any given time. Gotcha. Yeah. All right. There you go. I'd like to do all the animals. I know fish is a very broad,

but I'd like to do... What's the next one? Maybe marsupials. You know, creepy crawlers. I love animals. Amphibians. All about it.

Okay, amphibians. I don't know a lot about amphibians. We could turn this into an entire nature podcast if you want. There's a good. I'll have to talk to Ater. About a year in, it's time to pick a theme. Well, thank you for listening to another edition of the Public Figures podcast.

I am going to be in Birmingham, Alabama, isn't there, wherever we're speaking. Birmingham, Alabama, the Stardome Comedy Club. I got some very funny friends with me. It's going to be a great show. Brian, people can find you this weekend. Yeah, this weekend, this Friday, I will be in Canton, Ohio. Then October 3rd, Commonwealth Comedy Club in Cincinnati. October 7th at the Orlando Funny Bone in Orlando, Florida.

October 8th, Good Night's Comedy Club in Raleigh, North Carolina, in October 11th at Witson Comedy Club in Charleston, South Carolina. So that's a lot of people say, you never come to Orlando. You never come to Charleston. You never come to Raleigh. I'm coming to all those places. Coming everywhere. Come see me, please.

Okay. Let's see. I just, you know, I'm not. September 16th, that's passed, huh? Yeah. Mm-hmm. It would have been too late last week. All right.

October 7th, let loose at the lab. Come check that out. Let loose. Let loose is a hot show. Not clean, though. So it's a hot show, though, here at the lab at Zanis. All right.

Let's do it. All right. That's it. Thank you for listening to Pell and Figures podcast. Listen to the next time. and be safe out there. All right, we're having a good time. See you.

We love being in the public eye. If we weren't, then we want to die. A podcast with Brian, Aaron, and Dusty, these three guys are old. Fingers podcast.