The Nateland Podcast - 35: #35 | Hair

Episode Date: September 30, 2026

This week on the Public Figures Podcast, Brian shares a stage with a cotton candy vendor, Aaron doesn't get the appeal of dancing and Dusty wants to eliminate the letter X from the alphabet. Then the guys get serious by delving into the topic of hair. They learn about the different hairstyles over the years, how the term "big wig" originated, and get a disturbing visual of what they would look like with each other's hair. Quo: Quo.com/NATELAND Money is on the line. Always say hello with QUO. Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to Quo.com/NATELAND. Don’t sleep on @ultrapouches. New customers get 15% Off with code NATELAND at takeultra.com! #UltraPouches #ad

Okay, welcome General Public. I felt like that was a good one. I thought of that one just a second ago. This is the Public Figures podcast. My name is Dusty Slay. This is Aaron Weber. Hello. This is Brian Bates.

Hi, everybody. Otherwise known as Breakfast. They call him Breakfast because he's the most important meal of the day. This is what people say. That's scientifically proven. That is what people say. I hear people say that all the time. And a lot of doctors say to skip them.

Yeah, they do say that. Yeah. Never about me again, right? So here we are. It's probably September and we're... Comes out the last day of September. Okay. And we're, you know, doing a podcast and I feel good about it. You know what I mean? Today, it's going to be a hot one. And I didn't go to... I didn't do any work this weekend. And so I have not been anywhere.

But I have some stuff coming up. Okay. So dusty sleigh.com has a lot of stuff. This weekend's going to be a college gig for me. I'm going to be out in Washington in Pullman at a university. Pullman? What university? You know, I don't know.

According to my calendar, it says it's... It's in Pullman. It says in Washington State University as well. Okay. So... WSU. So that'll be exciting. Pumped about that.

And then And then I got October 13th. That'll be the next month I have a Zaney show, a grand old comedy show. So get in on that. This weekend I will be in Cincinnati

at Commonwealth Comedy Club. Nice. This Saturday, October 3rd, two shows, 4 o'clock in 7.30, I think. The 4 o'clock is all ages. Oh, nice. Bring your kids, bring your grandma.

Bring. What do you do for an all-ages show when kids show up? What do you do? Like puppets. Do you sing the fire truck song that super simple? Owee, oohie, do you do that? Don't get us banned because that sounded.

That was very quick, though. Yeah, I just do whatever they want. Yeah. Do you do puppets at all? Yeah, some puppets, voices. I think you should do that. I make balloons. For the All Ages show, Break out a Sock Puppet.

I've heard Greg Warren does All Ages shows, and at the end he'll have kids if they want to tell a joke, they can come up and tell a joke on stage. I don't know if I'm willing to relinquish control of the show like that. I'd like to see you do it. Sounds like a good way to kill some time, though. He goes, what are we at, 45? Come on, get some of these kids up here.

I did a... I do that on a normal show. Any adults want to tell some jokes. I did a... Well, anyway, you would tell where you're at this weekend? I am going to be tomorrow night. I'm in Birmingham, Alabama, at the Stardome Comedy Club. So, coming out.

If you're in the Birmingham area, come out and see. I did a show Friday night in Canton, Ohio. That was an all-age show. Oh, yeah. Out in the public there. It's kind of hard to enforce an age limit when it's outdoors. Yeah, an outdoor show opened to the public. There were some homeless people that would come and go and met them.

They came to my meet and greet afterwards. Really? It was fun. But there it is. There's me on stage. Behind me is a cotton candy booth that they set up. On stage. Yeah.

So you'd see the girl look at her phone. She's bored, but... But... But, yeah, I mean, that was kind of the highlight of the show. Was that free cotton candy? I don't think so. So people had to come during the show. They were walking up on the stage and buying cotton candy from this woman.

No one came up while I was at their performing, but I certainly alluded to her. How many people were eating cotton candy in the audience? I'm not sure. I'm not sure. But we had a great time. What's that A in Canton on that? Looks like some sort of synagogue up there. What is that?

I think it's one of their buildings. Yeah. Their skyline. Maybe it's the... Just a dome, maybe the city... Pro football Hall of Fame. Capital Hall of Fame. Okay.

I did you drive by the Pro Football Hall of A? Did you? You can go in? No, I didn't have time, but I saw it. So that's something, right? Well, they always say the outside's the best part. I don't think I fully realized that that Hall of Fame game they do each year is literally on a field, almost basically connected to the Huffington.

Oh, I didn't know that. I mean, there's right there side by side. Oh, that's cool. Anyway, I had a great time in Canton. A lot of people came. Met a lot of fun people. And then flew home Saturday and then immediately flew to Charleston, South Carolina. Oh, all right.

So, Naves on the Dusty Slee reality tour. I don't know if you know this or not. No. Yeah, he's going to Charleston, Auburn. Um, wherever place Dusty's been. Wow. Dusty's, Nate's going to kind of, you know.

And we'll end up back in Nashville too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we went to, I went with Nate to Charleston and did the, what is the name?

It's the tennis facility there. You know what? No. I don't happen to know the tennis facility in Charleston off the top of my head. It's like a huge facility where they have like pro tournaments. Oh, cool. Think of the name of it right off hand. So it was in a tennis arena?

Yeah. It's also outdoors. doors. I'll sell all ages. Oh, that's like, few more people than... I think I have been there, actually. I don't know what it's called, though. Okay.

Well, we did that, and that was a lot of... Credit one stadium. There it is. Credit one stadium. Well, that looks awesome. Yeah. Did they leave the tennis court in? No, they covered it up with chairs,

but we did that show Friday night, and then... What did you do while you were in Charleston? I'm getting there. Okay. And then that was Saturday night, excuse me. And then Sunday there was a basketball tournament there at college basketball tournament, exhibitions, six teams, I think.

And Vanderbilt was one of the schools that was playing in it. And we got invited. Did you want to say something, Dusty? No. Well, I did. I can tell us something that's not going to say. Not positive. Vanderbilt.

Because I know you guys love this. We do. Nothing like a Vander, I don't know. Vanderbilt performed. We performed the night before and the Vanderbilt coaches were there. And then they invited us to the game. And we forced, we had court side seats. Yeah.

I mean, just right there on them. It is cool. It is. Court side seats to anything. That's awesome. That's a cool noise that I made. that's like oh man sarcastic at all yeah i'm like you can't believe it yeah uh and then uh i mean the coach because it is it's exhibition game even for exhibition games this is an exhibition

game they said their next preseason games not for three more weeks oh okay so this is truly just a whatever jambery so the coach said if you guys want to sit on the bench you can he said if you want to call up a play you can are you see yeah and i'm like we got to run the picket fence and And so. Bates, if you want to hop in there and take a shot. I could see you as an old school basketball coach in a suit. Okay. Yeah.

Running up and down the sideline, waving your arms. Maybe in a little rolled up. Yeah. Maybe in a segregated town. Yeah. You know, like, well, I said old school. I don't know. I don't think I like the direction this is going.

You guys, you always hit me with the one, too. Well, that's what Aaron. That's Aaron. I'm complimenting you. I don't think you really were either, but... I'm excited for you that you experienced something that you liked. Thank you. Me too.

I would never try to belittle an experience you had. Thank you. Thank you so much. Me either. I mean, I'm just saying that's an experience for you. Yeah. Not for me. We had a great time.

Nate sat with the coaches on the bench. And anyway, we had a great time. Sounds pretty loose. It was pretty loose. That's what you're saying. It's a scrimmage, basically. Coach is like, you know, whatever we want. Roy Williams.

Are these guys even on the team yet? Are they guaranteed to be on the team? I think so, but that's a good question. I'm sorry, guys. I just have really dipped out of sports now. We know. I'm completely out now. We know, but you know that the rest of the world's still in pretty hard.

I can't believe it. I mean, I believe it because I know that it's happening, but I'm saying that I'm in a state of disbelief that it's still going on. Why is that? I don't know. It just feels like it's... Do you want other people to be out? Yeah. Okay, you want everyone to stop enjoying sports?

Everyone. That's true. So what's left in your world just to like go out and look at the trees? I think we need a period of non-enjoyment. I think we're having it right now. Yeah. Yeah, but it's not long enough. You look at you guys are already laughing again.

We're just getting started. We need 10 years to just not enjoy anything. That's what I've said. A decade of really not a lot of. lot of enjoyment. Well, you've had more than a decade of not enjoying anything. How have you turned out? It's working out great for them. But you enjoy your own thing. You enjoy tree frogs. You enjoy tadpoles. Yeah. And that's not my thing, but I have some joy for it because of you. Yeah. You're my friend. Well, I appreciate that. Yeah. Me too.

Thank you. Thank you. Well. So that's what you did in Charleston the next day. So, but you didn't do any like Charleston-y things? No, I mean, that was a pretty early thing. Nick Novicki, who was with us on the trip, he got up and went down to the harbor, looked for some dolphins, was going to do some type of boat tour. He and Keith Albertstadt went to a Catholic Mass. Oh, nice. So, you know, Catholics are weird about that kind of stuff. Going to church.

Yeah, if you're listening, that's a joke. There's a big Catholic church downtown. I went to that one time. They may have went to that one. I dated a girl that was Catholic for a little while. I went to that church. Oh. Yeah.

What if you'd have married her? What if you and Aaron have a lot more in common? Well, yeah, I mean, I don't, I mean, the list of problems we would have had. I don't think Catholicism would even rank up. Wouldn't be the top guy? I'd gotten married, yeah. You know who was apparently there that we were supposed to meet that was very excited about and just, for whatever reason never happened, was Danny McBride.

Oh, nice. I don't know why he was there, but they were like, he's a Charleston guy. Is he? Yeah, he lives there. Okay, well, like it. But apparently he's into basketball or Nate or both. Uh-huh.

Because he was at our show and they were like, we're going to meet him afterwards. I was very excited to meet him. And then they were like, no, he's got his kids or something with him. It wasn't going to work out tonight, but he's coming to the games tomorrow. Okay. You'll meet him then. I'm like, great. And then.

He bailed. I guess it just never came to fruition. Ah, too bad. I love when that happens. Yeah, when they're like, you've, telling you, no, this guy's coming. Yeah. And they never comes.

Yeah. Gosh. You like Danny McBride, right? I do like that. I do like that. Yeah. That would have been, but that's what I'm saying. That didn't even come through.

Yeah. It was a terrible weekend. The one cool thing. That reminds me of this. I hope he would mind me telling the story. I did a club with Jay Flake. It was his first time at the club and he had a really good set. And the owner comes back and goes, September 28th, how would you like to come headline?

He was like, oh, I love it. He goes, all right, we'll figure out the day. detail. He goes away. He comes back about five minutes later. He goes, I might have to double check on that date, but we love to have you back. Five minutes later, he comes back. He goes, probably going to have to co-headline with a guy. He just kept coming back. He goes, going to have to check with him. He's not already bringing somebody, but we'll make it. And he finally was just, and Jay was just like, you know what? Call me if anything opens. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

I've been there. I love that. Danny my bride's coming tonight. Now, you know what? He's got his kids with him, but tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. I wish they kept dragging that along, kept telling you, he's actually going to be on the podcast.

Look, I'm the only one that really cared. Nobody else was like, you know, making a big deal about it. Danny McBride's the best, though. That guy's so funny. He's very funny. He might be the funniest guy of that generation of like the last 10 years. So funny. I don't know who's funnier.

Do you ever see Land of the Lost with Will Farrell? No. And Danny McBride. It's so good. but it's good I mean it's like it's good because of Danny McBride

I never saw it I saw the original land of the loss and lost $40 million in the box office Yeah I'm not saying it did well I know It sounds like a movie Dusty would like though Yeah it's very funny

All about dinosaurs Yeah I mean it's fictional fictional Fictional movie Did you ever see Latter of the Lost The original I don't know is this a remake of some This was a kids TV show

I knew it was a... When I was growing up, and for my generation, it's kind of like there was these creatures... Did you watch it? Adrian Land of the Lost? Slee-Stacks.

These lizard-like creatures that lived in caves, and there was always some scenario where they'd be running from a dinosaur, and then they'd hide in a cave, and then these scary creatures would come out called Slee-Stacks,

and they would chase them. So give kids nightmares. Yeah. You know. The Slee-stack probably is real. Yeah. I like the guy who commented that said, to clarify Dusty, he doesn't believe in narwhals, but it does believe in mermaids. Well, I think I relented on the narwhal thing.

I mean, I, because I went back, yeah, I mean, I went back and I checked my wildlife fact files that I got when I was a kid. And it had a narwhal in there? And it had a narwhal in there. And I go, all right, because my thing was, I just never heard about narwhals. And then all of a sudden, we're like, oh, yeah, there's narwhals. There's these seal-looking things with a giant horn. And you go, what? I never heard of this.

I don't remember them as a kid. But I went back and looked. I mean, it could be some Mandela effects. So you don't want them to be real, but unfortunately they are. Yeah, it just doesn't make any sense, but it is real, apparently. I agree. They are odd. But Mermaid, but also my overall point would be that, you know, you don't, we

We're not bombarded with folklore of the norwals. They're not like, oh, the norwalk, you know, but they are mermaids. So the mermaids have this long history. And I believe most of these things are not just made up. They're rude and true something. Yeah, and maybe as time went on, the depictions have evolved, and now it's a, you know, a Starbucks. You know, the Starbucks is a two-finned mermaid. Right. That's what the, you should look up the original logo.

Oh, I've seen it. On your free time. I've seen it. But so I'm saying it evolves over time, but the narwhal came out of nowhere. When we had kids. Yeah. Right? Yeah, I mean.

I don't think if I had a kid, I'd still be hearing about the narwhal. But all our books and kids' toys and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. But I didn't ever remember. Nobody was talking about narwhals when I was growing up. Nobody, yeah, me, I don't know they'd been discovered. Well, I got some of these books where it's like,

the alphabet and every letter is an animal. Yeah. And you do, some of them are tough to find. Yeah. A lot of them have narwhal for N. And then you get to X and they're just making up a zotal or something. Yeah. Like, what are the, it's just a dog.

X is a truly useless word. We don't need it. Letter? Letter, yeah. It's a truly useless letter. Axelot, but that starts with an A. What is an X? What's an X animal?

There's no need for the letter X. So the X men would just be men? Or it would just be called something out. Okay. I mean, if that's all you got, then... X-ray would just be right? It just would be, you know, Z-ray. I mean, it would be called something else.

Xerox would just be zero? Yeah, I mean, these are the only examples. I can let you keep going. So you would spell box, B-O-C-S? Yeah. Yeah. Just saying you don't need it. What would mark the spot on a treasure map?

Well, that you could still write. writes, you know, you could still be like this marks it. But you wouldn't want to give it a name. It just doesn't need to be in the alphabet. This needs to be one of the letters. Yeah. It could still be an X. You go, this is where we mark spots.

Yeah. We mark spots with this. Yeah. But we don't use it in any words. It shouldn't be. Well, that's true. I mean, like a cross, you know, it's not a letter. Mm-hmm.

So, yeah. It's a D. It's a lowercase T. What would you call an audio cable? Well, I'd call it that. An audio cable. Dang, that's pretty good. Yeah. That was pretty quick.

I think I'm on board of Dusty on this. I just think it's useless. Okay. Because every time in these children's books, when they're like looking for something, it is, it is always X-ray. What would you call your previous lover or spouse? You know, it's best you don't call her at all. That's funny. But that would be E-X.

Yeah, just... You call her E-C-K-S. Yeah. X. Got there something out there. Would either of you at any point of your career, maybe not now, but at some point, would you ever do dancing with the stars?

You already threw that out. You threw that out a couple weeks ago. Did I really? To Dusty. Didn't I? I wouldn't do it. Okay. Because I'm...

A couple weeks ago you said you would. Did I? I don't think so. Did we not talk about that? We were different people back then. I don't remember this at all. I thought you said, never say never. Oh, I don't know.

Maybe you guys are, you know, kept prodding me on it or whatever. But I, I'm, you know, oh, I think I said there is, you know, obviously there's an amount of money that would get me there. But not an amount they're willing to pay. You know, like, I'm bad at dancing and it's embarrassing. It would be embarrassing to be on the show. So a billion dollars you would do it. Yeah. Okay.

I mean, yeah. Okay. So there's a number. Yeah. We could backtrack from there and find out what it is. You're not going to do it for five grand. No, I'd do it for way less than a billion, but way more than five grand. Okay. Yeah.

I was watching it. I got to tell you, man, I think that's the worst art form there is. Dancing? Dancing? I just, I can't get it. I don't understand what I'm supposed to get out of it. But if you ever watch some of these old, like, Fred Astaire movies, dancing? Yeah, it's impressive.

It's incredible. Yeah. So what else is there? But like, look, let me beat a few people to the punch. I can't dance. Okay. And I'm a comedian. One of the lowest forms of art there is.

But as a, I understand it's fun to dance. We still have comments to do. It's fun to dance, I'm sure, right? Yeah. And, you know, you're at a wedding and you're having fun. But as a performance, piece. I don't know what I'm supposed to get out of it. Now, guys that do things that are really technically interesting and technically difficult, I get going, wow, that's an amazing

accomplishment. They can do that. But the idea that I'm supposed to be like, wow, I'm really moved by that man dancing. Yeah, I can see that. I just, I can't get it. I think I just, I don't. I think it's best to not think of it as an art form and just, you know, just accept it as dancing. But even if I don't think of it, like what am I supposed to, like, I'm watching. Like, I'm watching that show Dancing with the Stars. And everybody's going nuts for these people. And I go, like, what? What am I cheering for?

I want to say, you know, there's your first mistake, you know, is even watching that. Well, there's a Savannah Banana on there this season. I had to support. Oh, yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I may be the worst is too strong. It's my least favorite because I just, it doesn't register with me at all.

Every other art should invoke some type of emotion. And I don't know what that would be for dancing. I think if you're going to do Dancing with the Stars, there's no. professional there to train you. We just see what the stars look like dancing with no training. Or at least have one guy there as a control. And if yes, you know, but if you get caught with a trainer, jail time. It's that serious. Yeah, yeah. You might think nicotine will help your energy. Like for me, I was at work or about to do a show or any place I need some extra energy. You think nicotine is going to get you there. Now, looking back, it does. It's going to put you on edge. Your heart will be racing.

and you're not getting the positive effects you think you're getting. Nicotine, as I've always said, is a vaso-constrictor. You remember, I talk your ear all about that. I'm sick of you saying that. So it narrows your blood vessels and can work against what you're trying to do, whether that's at the gym like me or just day-to-day life like Brian. That's why I started using ultra pouches. They're a complete game changer.

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Please support our show and tell them we sent you. So far, Dusty's convinced me on every point he's May of today. X, out of here. Get on board. Like Guillermo is on there, Jimmy Kimmel's guy. Yeah. And he's doing it. And, you know, seems like a lovely guy.

Yeah. But he can't dance. And then he's dancing. Everybody's like, wow, you killed it. And I'm like, well, what? Yeah. I'm like, no, he didn't. And that's fine to not be good at dance.

But I just, I don't get it. But if they reach out to you. I've never, I'd do it. But they, I've never seen people dancing and been like, wow, that was an emotionally moving experience. I really enjoyed watching that. Would you say yes before they offer them? the money. I'd have to... I would.

Brian would go just to a taping. I'd ask for autographs. And look, there are people that are very good and people that enjoy it. I just don't get it. It's just, and I'm willing to, you know, I'm mature enough now. It's a me thing. I'm not... I do like dancing. It would be by far the biggest credit. I would have.

Oh, it would be the biggest credit any of us would have. It would be. Yeah, but I don't know that it translates. I don't know if it translates to ticket sales, but it used to be kind of celebrities on the way out of their career. And in the past few years, it has shifted. There are people, it does kind of launch people in a way. Nikki Glazer did it.

Nikki Glazer did it. Bobby Bones won it. Lauren Elena did it, made it to the finals. If they go, listen, this is a huge ticket sale booster. Every comic we ever had to do this immediately sells out every. show. I'd go, I don't know. I'll do it. But you'd say I already sell out every show. But you have to, you have to dance on all your shows now. No, no, I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. That is the catch. Everybody's going to want to see you dance now.

You got to come out. You got to play intro music. Got to dance a little bit. And you go, cut it. I got some time to fail. I'd do it. And then you bring a kid up to tell you. What is the show? Guys, it was three hours long. As far as Chris, big weekend. for me because that Vanderbilt game which was streamed on ESPN Plus so now you can say as seen on ESPN.

Did you see yourself on the broadcast? I'm sure I was on there somewhere around the sidelines. And then I'm now on Netflix. The breadwinner. How about that? We are on Netflix.

Look at that. It's always top 10. Not long ago. Big time. So I got some new credits. Big time. The Paramount Plus moved to Nashville?

Did that happen? It's not happening? I don't know. They're talking about it, but then they, just we don't really have mountains like that yeah we're looking for office space here yeah i wanted to ask you i meant to ask you this last week and i forgot but you mentioned it a couple of times in our text thread and we didn't even respond but i do want to ask you about it your cat no yeah

tell us about your cat we're getting our uh some work down on our bathroom yeah and they redid the whole floor and they just left this gaping hole in the floor of the bathroom uh-huh And the floor just goes into the crawl space beneath the house. And we were just sitting there one day. We haven't seen one of the cats in a long time. And so I went in and I was like, oh, yeah, it definitely is in that crawl space. So I spent like hours crawling around my crawl space trying to get this, trying to save this cat. It eventually came out.

And then it got back in again. And the second time I go, okay, it knows how to get out now. I'll just kind of leave the gate open. But I don't know what's down there. I don't know. In retrospect, I wasn't that worried about the cat, but I was like, I don't want him to die down there. Yeah, was it a tight crawl space?

No, it's pretty big. It's the whole house. Okay. Underneath, so it's just this big open area, but I was down there crawling in the dirt with like a headlamp. When you found the cat, though, what was it doing? Just chilling. He's like, yeah.

It looked pretty annoyed to see me. Because I got my own house. down here. Why are you here? The cat's like, geez. I was like, I've come to save you. This guy. The guy eating all my food at home.

But we did at one point, we just heard like meowing underneath the floor. And I was like, oh, God. I didn't know what it looked like down there. I was like, could get trapped. Could be a nutty putty cave incident. What's that? Where that dude died cave diving?

Upside down. Some slithering. Some what? Some slithering? Like Harry Potter? What did you call that thing? Flea stout. Slee stacks.

Oh, yeah. I kind of lost track of what's going on. So your cat, okay, you're in there. But today, September 28th, it is Olive's second birthday. So happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Olive.

Two years old. Flies by, man. It does. Pretty crazy. It does. The way he said it does. Because I was looking, I'm thinking about my child. Yeah.

I hate, I shouldn't say I hate it, but I have mixed feelings. every time my daughter graduates out of a phase of her life because she's the only child we're ever going to have. So there's always a little sad. Obviously, I don't want her to get behind. There's always a little sadness that we'll never experience. You've got three kids. You've experienced this. I don't know what your plans, but you guys are young enough that may have more kids.

But this is definitely our only child. So, yeah, it's always a mixed bag. They say, I mean, there's going to be one day where you pick her up for the last time and don't even realize it. Isn't that crazy? I think I better go Isn't that what? It is. No,

I know. Yeah, I see all that stuff. Because I'll die. What's that? Because I'll be dead? Well, no,

because she'll be too old to pick up like you do. I mean, in my case, you could go either way. What will happen first? He may not be able to pick her up now. Barely. That may be where the sad,

sadness came in. He goes, oh, that time's already gone. It's close, man. It is close. I just took her to the park today.

She's, wouldn't feel well. out of school and we were only ones there at the park playground and she wanted me to go down the twisty slide. I'm nice just for kids. She's saying please please so finally I went up there. Yeah. And man, me just getting in that thing. That's the hardest part. Right. Because I just have to lay down and then squeeze down it. Yeah. And then I just slowly inch around down it and then getting out, you know, I basically have to get her to pull my legs. I bet you do that. and you don't even really get the reaction from her that you want to drink.

You know what I just went through. I mean, she had that look I just had, stared ahead like, what's going on? I get dizzy down those slides like that. All right, go, you got to give me a second. I may not be able to drive us home. Okay, let's get into these comments, guys. Let's do it. Comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple, Podcasts, Reviews, and Mail,

at natlandpodcast.com. That was good. The first comment comes from Karen Filter. That's an interesting name. Let's see if she has one. Yeah. Love the Fish episode. Oh, thank you, Karen.

You should check out a documentary from 2020 called My Octopus Teacher. I was surprised and delighted to see the friendship that developed between the narrator and the octopus. They were having a good time. Have you seen that documentary?

And later, they got married to each of them. Well, that's kind of why, maybe I need to rewatch it. I haven't seen it. Maybe my mind was in the gutter a little bit, but it did feel like kind of an inappropriate relationship between the octopus and the guy. Yeah. It started to feel borderline romantic. Wow. And that kind of made me stop watching it.

Between the narrator? Not the narrator. She says narrator. Well, she means, I guess, the guy that represents it. It's a guy. Now, look, I haven't seen the whole thing. I turned it off. But it's a guy who's just like he becomes friends, becomes.

friends becomes friends with an octopus. And it's the same one. He goes down and just hangs out with it. They spend hours down there together. It's going to your cat. But I think he... What did they do, though? Just hanging out, just like, you know...

High-fiving. Chasing after each other. That's fun. There develops a real affection between the guy and the octopus that made me pretty uncomfortable. How do you know the octopus felt the same way? We don't. That's part of what makes it uncomfortable to me.

Was he like hugging him with all eight arms? They're getting all in there, man. Okay, Karen, thank you. Thanks, Karen. But I think it got, I mean, it was critically lauded. It was like a, I think it won a bunch of awards. I'm probably going to skip it, I think. My octopus teacher.

Look, it's this guy. I mean, this review says one of the best movies ever. Well. This is Karen filter. I'm sure it's good. I don't know. It won best documentary at the 93rd Academy Awards.

Okay. It documents a year spent by filmmaker Craig Foster forging a relationship with a wild common octopus in the South African kelp forest. So,

there you go. Cool. First of all, it's an unclean animal. Yeah. So, and you don't like octopuses. No, they really creep me out because they're very smart and I don't, I can't, like, I don't know what they are.

And they unscrew that, that, you remember that jar that the octopus? Yeah, you put an octopus in a jar, it'll screw its way out. Let's just move on. It'll unscrew the lid. Yeah. Okay, sorry. All right. Sorry, Karen, I'll give it another chance.

I'm sorry about that. Okay. Oh, I'm glad you put this one in. We all read this today. Mark Grossman, I am a plumber, and even I know the study of fish is, I don't know. I'm a good. I'm icht theology. Well, you're probably around water more than any of us.

Well, I like the idea that he's like, I'm like, oh, a plumber should know this. Like, what does him being a plumber have anything to do with this? He's kind of trashing himself. Yeah. I'm just a lowly plumber. I should know it. And like, we're scientists. We're doing a comedy podcast and we're supposed to know more than a purer. You're a plumber. We're clowns. Yeah. I mean, I call a plumber when I need help. Mark, I just think the vast majority people would not know that.

I bet if you did a poll of the American public and he said, how many people do you know what the study of fish is called? 98% of people are not going to get ichthyology. I just, I can't believe. Mark didn't know it. Mark Googled it just for this guy. No, he Googled it just for this comment, just so he could. And now we're talking about him. He's not a plumber. You know, he had some more stuff that I did put in. I know.

He's not a plumber. He probably can't even plumb. Is it funny to have a plumber named Grossman? That's a great business name. Grossman plumbing. He doesn't know anything about fish. He just looked it up. And he goes, I can't believe.

leave these guys. Spreading misinformation. That's what he said in the longer comment. Yeah. We're just spreading. Yeah, just everybody coming here for their information. And we're spreading misinformation. Yeah.

Thanks, Mark Grossman. I feel like Mark Grossman is a public figure. Yeah. Who is that? There's Mark Grossman that runs the Helium Comedy Clubs. I thought it was like, is there a Mark Gross that's like a TV producer? Yeah, that's Greg Warren. buddy.

Okay. Made Leanne Show? Yeah. I see what I'm thinking about. I don't think. I hope that's not him. I hope a plumber's not running Leanne show on Netflix. Well, I mean, I believe in plumbers, unlike Mark.

You know what? You're right. You know? We do need somebody like that. Yeah. Melissa Sedlack. As a teenager, I attended an annual outdoor Christian music festival called It Thus. Listen, I can't do this with this word the whole time.

Wynch started in Wilmore, Kentucky. in 1970 as a Christian response to Woodstock. I ended up attending asbury College, which is also in Wilmore, and volunteered on the Icthus Festival Committee throughout my college years. That's fun. Yeah.

A Christian response to Woodstock. You think they were having a good time? I bet it was wild. I bet they were having a good time. Yeah. You know, a lot of people say, I mean, we really glorify Woodstock. I mean, I've watched people talk about it.

And like, a lot of people say it was not that fun. It was like a bit of a disaster. Oh, yeah, people died. Yeah, apparently one guy stood up at one point, he's like, whoever ate the blue acid, go to the medical tent now. It was just a nightmare. Yeah, I mean, it would glorify it, but it's like, you know, because you see the bands and it was like a great list of bands.

Great artists, yeah. But, I mean, was it really that fun to be there? They said Santana was performing and he was so high that he said the neck of his guitar was a snake. Wow. He thought it was a snake. And the whole show, he was just trying to, like, corral it. Wow. But he was killing it.

Yeah. But he didn't know what was going on. I mean, Woodstock 99, I'd love to be out there with Fred Durst. That one was bad, too. A lot of people died. God, that seems awesome, though. Woodstock 99, they ran out of water. They started price gouging people.

Give me a song to break. All the port-a-johns backed up. There was flooding sewage all over. It was just pavement. It was a disaster. I don't, I'm not a festival guy, so. I do like watching the videos of Woodstock 99. Corn.

You watch Corn set at Woodstock 99. Are you ready? And it's 100,000 people just going nuts. Yeah, it looks awesome. Maybe more than that. Maybe half a million. Gassman. Can I,

get personal. Yes, please. We're all a business, right? Of course. Our own business. You ever call a business? Get that old school of what's mail and immediately think, yeah, I'm not leaving a message. Every time. Yeah. Well, your customers are doing the same thing. Oh, no. At some point, you just got to say, we need quo. Right. Today's episode is brought to you by Quo, spelled QUO, the business phone system built so you never miss a call. All your calls, text, and what smells live in one place so anyone on your team can pick up a see the full history and respond fast. Quo is the number one rated business phone system on G2. Trusted by over 90,000 businesses who rely on it to stay reachable and look professional every day.

Plus, you can set it up in minutes on any device, keep your existing number, and add teammates as you grow, so no IT hassle. Money's on the line, guys. Always say hello with Quo. Try Quo for free. Plus get 20% off your first six months when you go to Quo.com slash NateLand. Q-U-O-com slash Nate Land. Danny Everett. Noah's Ark? Really, Brian? Are you six years old? Aaron, how do you reconcile silliness like this when your grandfather was a physics teacher? How's my grandmother, Danny Everett? Well, first of all, my grandfather, one of the most religious people I've ever. met in my life for the record. So how do you?

All I said, I asked Dusty what happened to the fish during Noah's art. As a plumber even I know. Really, Brian. Look, we probably have different opinions on it, but that's fine. I don't care. Yeah. Thank you for reconciling.

Danny. It was real. And we're not sex. And so I'm sorry. You know, some people think they're close to discovering it in Turkey. Oh. I don't get into that stuff. I don't care about that, but I...

You wouldn't care if they found the real Noah's arm? No, because I don't believe them when they're like, I wouldn't believe that they were like, oh, we found it. But I believe the story. Even you could go to Turkey, but you would still, even if you saw it yourself, you're like, this is fair. Yeah, but there's a lot of different cultures that record this Noah's Ark thing, even though they call it different things, a great flood.

And so, I believe it. So, Danny, sorry, bud. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry to, we can't reconcile that silliness for you. What are six years old? Yeah. Noah's Ark, Brian?

Really? You six years old, buddy? Be like me and believe nothing. Be an empty shell of a human. Thanks for listening, Danny. We're having a good time. I do love you, Danny. Yeah, we're having a good time.

Come on, Danny. Yeah. Nick Ventura. Dusty's, oh yeah, when asked if he could go toe to toe with Neil de Gras Tyson, in a room by themselves made me spit my water out as I was taking a drink. It's funny because it's true. Nick gets it. Dusty would destroy him with reason and logic as opposed to unfathomable numbers and Photoshop

pictures. Dusty, many stand. with you. Keep speaking the truth, brother. Who is this? I think I'm back on daddy's side. Listen, people get it. What are you? Six years old?

And, yeah, I mean, listen, I'm sure Neil de Grastheson's a very smart guy, but he... I just love the idea of you two going into a room alone, locked. Yeah. And you're in there for an hour. He comes out and he's like, I was wrong about everything.

Yeah. You know what? Dusty had some good points. Yeah. he's probably a nice guy. I'm sure he's a nice guy. He said hello to me. Did he? Where at?

That's how the story got started. I saw him last week in New York at the Sirius X-M building. And I said that I wanted to invite him on our podcast. I said to you guys. I didn't. But he was, he wears like a... I'm sorry to think Dusty doesn't read the text he sent this.

I said this on the podcast. But you also texted it too. It was at the time. Oh, yeah, you're right. You're right. Yeah. What did he? What was he?

wearing? Yeah. A hat. Probably some kind of space shirt. Yeah. He was wearing some type of a hat that had a feather

in it. Oh, okay. Those guys are tough to argue. He got a feathered. He took it off. Like when he went into his interview, he took it off. Oh, he's a gentleman about it.

Yeah, and put it in the seat. But yeah, when he left, he picked up his hat and put his hat on. Was that a cowboy hat? It was like a... No, like a fedora. Yeah, kind of a fedora.

Yeah, kind of a science man fedora. Oh, okay. Cool. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Love that. Love that. Yeah.

I like a good hat. I don't have a space shirt, though? I would. I want to get one for the podcast. Yeah. Just to wear it one day. I got a NASA hat. Let's do, let's all wear our space stuff in here.

Okay. I don't think I have anything. I wear a full space outfit. I have a full space suit. Do you? I put it on sometimes. I run around the house. Jack Klompus.

What were you for Halloween growing up? Did you ever dress up for Halloween? Yeah, always some kind of just a monster, just basic face pain. Oh, it now? Camouflage. Face pain, camouflage. It's a year-round character. This year for Halloween, you should go as yourself.

I do. That is what I do. You are one of the easiest costumes. Yeah. Yeah. People dress up as me. I did it on the, the Baitland podcast. Yeah, I remember that.

Yeah. Yeah, mine wasn't the best. It was the best you ever. look, though. And then I wore that wig to the birthday party. Yeah, you look cool with a long hair, man. You got to get into that. I don't know about that.

Well, let's save that for the topic. You got to do that. Long hair, getting into some CBD, and that's a new vibe for you. Yeah. Yeah. Why doesn't it have to get in the CBD? Just a mellow amount of it. Stop believing some stuff.

Yeah. Start believing some other things. Just be cool, man. Yeah. I hope so. Because you kept flipping the hair out of your face. Yeah. I wasn't used to it.

Yeah, you looked cool. Yeah, you and Hannah were very intrigued. Yeah. I thought I felt I really awkward wearing this. Hope nobody makes a big deal about it. And the whole time, Hannah's filming me and you all to follow me around the room. Yeah, that was fun. Yeah.

Jack Clompus. You guys know Jack Clompus? It sounds like Santa Claus's enemy. It does sound like that. It's Seinfeld's enemy on Seinfeld. Oh, okay. I mean, I guess Newman would be his ultimate enemy, but Jack Klompus is another. Oh, St. Nick and Jack Klompus.

Did you know Clancy Brown, who plays Captain Hadley in Shawshank, is also the voice of Mr. Crabb in Sponjew? I did not know that. Actually, you know what? I think I did. I think I did. Okay, well, I think I looked that up at some point. I was watching the Maria Bamford documentary this weekend. She was the voice of the girl from Cat Dog. You ever watch Cat Dog? Oh, yeah, I did watch that a little bit. I didn't know. She did a little voiceover work for Cat Dogg. She should. I mean, Maria Bamford's very funny and her voices are unreal. The documentary is great. Yeah. Where's it on? Check it out. Netflix. Apatel director. You know, I met Maria Bainford at JFL. Did you talk to her? Yeah, I did. I've done shows with her.

When I did JFL, just Newface is unrepned, she came and gave us all $100. That's cool. Didn't Ari Sheffir did this all out to eat to a very nice restaurant? That's awesome. And she wanted to come. She couldn't come. She couldn't make it. So she came into the green room and gave us all $100.

Wow. Yeah. No one did that for us. Yeah. We were in L.A. though. Anyway. She made me give her $100.

You want to do this show? Give me $100. Now, she was very nice. And, yeah, the whole weekend. She's great. Yeah. Nice way. Very funny.

Anyway, thank you, Jack Klompus. Brandon Mistler. As a fellow big man. Oh, gee. I wonder who this is about. I hate to hear about Aaron's bout with the It's not, dude. First of all, it's not a belt. It's just because you're big. Not everything's a crisis. Hang in there, buddy. We've been praying for you.

I have a cure that has worked for me every time. Drink from the other side of the cup. Basically, you end up drinking bin over and upside down, but it works every time. Let me try to do it real quick. I'm trying to even visualize. What does that mean? It means instead of drinking from the front, you tilt it forward. and drink from the back. Look, there's a lot of remedies. It's said to Aaron.

This one was so good. I wanted to read it. So, like, normally you drink, you drink like this, right? Yeah. He's saying, oh. Drink from the back. If you're listening. It's hard to even do.

Yeah. And I don't have hiccups. Wow. It works. Big man, a big man. Maybe it's that whole idea that you're like, you're just trying to do that. It takes your mind off the picture.

Yeah, you've got other worries. Maybe. Wow. I'll remember that next time. Brandon Mistler. Drink from the other side of the cup. Who's the first guy to try that? No, I mean, I don't think anybody's ever done that ever.

A big man with a last name, Missler. It's almost like he's putting out a mist. He's the Missler. Did you ever see the roast battle was Ralphie Mae and Mike Lawrence? And they really went at each other. and, you know, Mike Lawrence is calling Ralphie fat the whole time, and Ralphie's saying that he smells bad. So at one point, Ralphie takes out a can of frieze and starts spraying it.

And Mike Lawrence goes, well, now you look even more like the iceberg that sank the Titanic. That's just brutal. That's a real miss. David Womack. Each of you could have reviewed Red Lobster, Captain E's, and Long Beach. John Silvers. The fish episode. Oh, come on.

Don't be ridiculous. We got into the real stuff. You know what? I've never eaten at Red Lobster. Never eating at Long John Silvers. Me either. Eating at Captain Dees a million times. Really?

Not in the last 30, 20 years. Yeah. It was a big childhood place. Yeah. Teenager. Yeah. Captain Dee. Same way.

Never ate your Red Lobster or Long John Silver's, but there was always a Captain D's around. This is what happened to me with Red Lobster. When I was growing up in Opelike. Now, this is probably not. true for everyone in Opelika. This is, you know, this is for my family. Red Lobster seemed too fancy. Two. And then I moved, it just like seemed like, oh man, one day. It was upper echelon place. Yeah, it was for sure. One day I hope that I can eat at Red Lobster. Yeah.

You know? And then I moved to Charleston, South Carolina, which is like this big seafood city. Yeah. And everyone looked down on Red Lobster. It's almost like a Taco Bell of. Yeah. I like leaped Red Lobster. Yeah, how about that? Yeah. You worked at a place. I love it. Yeah.

It's a couple of guys I knew came to work at Hyman's from Red Lobster. People say a lot about Red Lobster. I will say the biscuits are maybe the best biscuits ever. They're cheddar bay biscuits. You don't know what I'm talking about? I do. I have heard about them. And I got to say, though, everybody says that.

Yeah. And when you're a seafood restaurant and the thing that people rave about you is the cheese biscuits, that's not a good sign. Look, a lobster is a lobster is a lobster, but a biscuit. Yeah. You can really differentiate yourself there. Look at that. I mean, look at these biscuits.

Yeah. I think they filed bankruptcy. Yeah, they've been having some trouble. But I think they're starting to come back. Yeah, yeah. Are they? They're making a play. According to Greg Warren, he kind of follows them close.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Coram Dio. Corum Dio. Corum Dio. Is that Latin? Let's see.

Corumdeo. Corumdeo means to live a life of integrity. It's a Latin phrase that means before the face of God or in the presence of God. Oh, well, let's see what they have to say. It describes a way of life where a person remembers that God is always near and involved in every moment. Let's hear what a person like that would say. Dusty and Aaron, you guys are awesome. Talk about being before the face of God.

Oh, but Brian. intro to the podcast is the best. Boom. Not even close. I love the pod guys. Keep up the great work. Wow. Thank you, Mr. Corum, D.

Corum, Satan. I thought that was going to be bad, but I, you know, poor taste, but... Poor taste, but I love the Latin. Yeah. I love the phrase there. Thank you, Corm. What about Brian's intro is so good? It's professional.

What do you do? You call everybody... common folks? He doesn't. What did the kids say? He does it like the rent is due. You know what I'm talking about? I get in there.

Yeah. Get in there. I wonder what he'll think about my general public comment today. I like that. He might say Ieia octa est. Yeah. He might. The dais cast, brother.

All right, here goes. L. Scroggs. Brian naming everyday folks regular people in that tone when Dusty said he hung out and visited with people after the show could really rub people the wrong way, especially when the only reason you have millions in your bank account is because of the regular people. Wow. Dusty knows what's up and gives respect to others. Wow. People respect him and follow him in part.

because he respects others. That's crazy. Brian, up there on your pile of money, millions of dollars. Well, all right, first of all, LL, the only millionaire at this table is the guy who called himself a public figure. And that's how this whole thing came about. Yeah, didn't this come off a story of him blowing you off at the airport because he thought you were just a fan?

I really don't even know he's referencing. I think you might be talking about, you said you met a fan. You met a guy for lunch. Or something last week. In Portsmouth, man. I just treat people like people. I got who emailed you. Yeah.

I do that. Yeah. I mean, I hang out with people all the time. Yeah. Unlike Brian in his ivory tower. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't say regular people.

I said, you met with like a random guy. And you said, yeah. which I still think is pretty unusual. I thought he was talking about the way you intro the podcast. Oh, the common fault? Yeah. I think that's what he means.

Yeah, yeah, just being condescending. No irony at all. Right? Either way, L. L. Scrogg gets it. L. Scrogg sounds like he writes fantasy novels, doesn't he? L. L. Scrogg. He sounds like a yacht and he's a millionaire.

Yeah. I think he's an apparel company. I did a free outdoor show in Kent, Ohio, with some homeless people this weekend, L.L. And guess what? They don't have money for merch. Brian performed 10 feet from a cotton candy booth this weekend. So that keeps me humble. Marcus Stolesfuzz. Stoltz Fuzz.

It's too many letters here. Marcus Stoltz Fuzz. Sorry, Dusty, that you have to be on a podcast where two of the hoax. All right, let's start over it. That's a good one. Sorry, Dusty, that you have to be on a podcast where two of the co-hosts don't know the significance of the number 33. Marcus, I'm sorry, too. I mean, it's just...

Well, you had a real opportunity to enlighten us. And we're like, what's it about? And you go, well, I don't want to get into it. I don't want to dip into it. Well, you know what I mean? Just let us know. I just think that you guys should just be aware that, you know, the number's always popping up out here. Oh, interesting.

People are always, they're in the news reports. They're always like, 33 shots, 33 dead. They're always doing 33. You know, it's my daughter turned 2 today. You know what age I was when she was born? Well, how old? 33. Wow, look at that.

How about that? Yeah. That is wild. Yeah. Twin Towers, one, one, times three. 33. That's crazy. There is a lot, you know,

There is a lot of stuff, though. Okay. The band 311? 33. 3 times 11. But there's no times in there. It's just, if it was 3 times 11. It's not 311.

It's 311. So it's 311. Is there a space between 3 and 11? How do you say the ban when you say? 311. Yeah. Amber is the co-over energy? You go, that's 311.

They could be 311. That's the band. And look, you dial 311 inside Davidson County if you want to ask for non-emergency a government customer service. That's how they get you. Three times 11. Yeah. It's 33.

Larry Bird, 33. It could be 31 times one, which is 31. Yeah, but you don't say 311 and you reference the band. You go, who sings Amber is the color of energy? Oh, 311. One of my favorite bands, 31.1. It could be 14. Yeah, I don't know why.

I think I must have heard someone call at 311, and then I just knew it. Yeah. And now I've never thought about it. But I've never said 311. Yeah. Like blink 182. Yeah, you say all three. I never say blink 182.

Yeah. Or blink 182. Yeah, yeah. That would be crazy. It would be crazy. Wow. I don't know. I just don't know.

Thank you, Marcus. Jay Ward. Interesting fact they forgot to cover. Six billion fish are killed every single day through human consumption, the ocean could be fishless in our lifetime. Yeah, I did forget to cover that. Well, I, you know, I, yeah, I mean, I think we can all eat less for sure, but I don't know. We got to eat, and I don't.

But you're doing your part. You don't eat fish. I don't eat unclean fish. I do eat salmon and trout and trout's delicious and haddock. It says here trillions of fish are born across the planet over the course of a single year. Yeah. I think it's adding up. I think we're gaining fish. Yeah.

I think we need to eat more. The oceans are so huge that that's what I'm saying. It's like I think there's plenty of fish for us to eat. Until there isn't. Because if we all stop to eat, like, I'm assuming he's vegetarian or whatever the other thing, vegan. Or maybe he loves fish and he. scared. Yeah. But it's like, imagine we're killing six billion fish. We all stop eating meat and we all start eating vegetables only. How long before there's no gardens left before we're all,

because you're going to need a lot more vegetables if you're only going to eat that. And you can't even get in the ocean anymore. It's just wall-to-wall fish. There's barely water. The fish are like, take some of us out of here. The fish are like, kill. me. The whales are all real fat because they're eating up so many fish. Now, I never hunted growing up. I had friends that did, but what I was always told about hunters that killed deer, and they go, they have to curb the population.

That there will be overpopulated with deer if we don't get out there and kill them. Has that happened anywhere where there's like too much deer? It's bound to be because when I was a kid, if you saw a, a deer out in just the wild, it was a big deal. And now they're so plentiful. You just, they're everywhere. I think we're bulldozing all their woods too, though. So it's like, we're like, we're just packing them in. Like, we're taking their habitat and then we're going, well, we've got to kill them to keep the herd down. We have so many deer in our neighborhood. They're almost like pets. I know. Yeah, me too. One came up other day, we're outside playing in.

And Eleanor, I mean, she could, she almost fed it. Oh, yes. It was that tame. It doesn't know any better. Yeah, here's one in my front yard the other day. Look at that yesterday. Oh. Just right out there. Right outside of the window. Actually, I was sitting out. Yeah, I was sitting out front.

It came up. Look at that. Whoa. She's right up on it. She's going to try to hop on top of it. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? That is crazy.

Now, can they attack you? Yeah, they can't. We're about to find out. It just jumped away. They're skittish. But I imagine if they're backed in a corner, it'll, do something. Yeah, I think if, I mean, he could kind of sense her energy.

He wasn't quite what he wanted, but, uh. But I'm like, I'm not anti-deer, right? I mean, I'm not anti-hunting. I'm for it. But like, let's say this. You have this much woods. Mm-hmm. And then you bulldoze one of these.

And now you only have this much woods. And then you're like, there's too many deer. We got to kill them, you know. Yeah. So I think. I agree with that too. You know. But, you know, I like deer meat.

Yeah, venison. Yeah. I like to call it deer mate. The Arby's by my house had venison for a while. That seems disgusting. Just that Arby's? I think it was limited stores. They rolled it out in. And they were like, where should we try it? No, Antioch, Tennessee.

They go, let's try it in Antioch. Oh, not Mount Julia. Not where I live now. No, that's when I first had the apartment, Nashville Village. Did you try it? Yeah. Of course. Yeah.

How was it? It was good, but you know, you wash anything down with a Jamoka shake. It's pretty good. Dipping in some sauce. Arby's has a lot of sauces. I haven't been there in a long time. We have the sauce. Yeah.

Well, thank you, Jay Ward. All right, guys. This week, very important topic to me. We're talking about hair. Ah, yeah. I got ready to leave coming out. I had a hat on. And I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Nope. I went and put the hair, the hat back. For hair, I want the average person just flipping through, oh, these guys must be experts on hair, and I'm leading the charge. Let me ask you this, because we've got three different degrees of hair on the podcast here. I would imagine I think about my hair the least out of the three of us. Because I just kind of wake up and it's there, right? How often are you thinking about it and how often are you, geez, you took the hat off? Yeah. It's right. Yeah, it was a hair. episode. Okay, my bad. Yeah. I bet. I think about Dusty's more. I think about mine. I bet you think about it more in a sense that you like, I got to get a haircut all the time.

Oh, potentially. Yeah. But I got to wash mine. Oh, okay. I wash mine too. Yours is like a half a day project though, probably. No, it, you know, it's... Don't by the creek. Yeah. Well, if you want to get conditioner in there, you can spend some time in the show. You do it yourself. You don't go to a guy. No. I would never go to a guy, but I do, you know, see a lady when I...

That's what I meant, just a person. Yeah. Yeah. Not every time, though, right? Let you wash your hair? Oh, no. That would be something. Have you dyed your hair ever?

Yeah, many times. Well, I mean, has this died now? No, no. Okay. As a younger guy. You would die it. Yeah, bleached it. Blonde.

I died at maroon one-tile. But, I mean, you're not dying away the grays is what I'm saying. No, no. Because I think I'm grayer than you are. I got a few grays here. in there, a few in the beard, but not too bad. Yeah, well, touch of gray, they said. Tristan texted us a

AI image of what each of us would look like with each other's. Yeah, that picture is disturbing, man. This is... Because even the pic... I hate the picture of me. I know that that gets used a lot, but I do hate that picture. I think, honestly, Dusty, you look like, that's three different dudes. Yeah.

And I know, we've, basically this is a chart where the three of us have each other's hair. you know what's you look pretty good with my haircut with that tight fade i've had that haircut before yeah i mean i yeah it looks pretty good you know the funny thing is i don't think of myself as bald but when i see you and dusty with my hair i'm like those are two bald guys dude me on the bottom left here this guy is a problem yeah yeah tell you if i ever get like that i'm gonna i'm never taking a hat off that's the mistler i'm gonna start wearing you ever get like me right now if i ever get like that i'm wearing neal degrass tyson hat

all day with a little feather. Yeah. And I'm going to start talking about evolution. See, look how cool Brian looks with long hair, though. He looks like Trevor Lawrence's grandfather. You were about to see Dad and then you took it up a notch. I know. I'm sorry.

Brian looks like he's an old rocker and he's like. A Christian rocker. But he looks like, you know, he looks like he can play guitar and sneakily like. Yeah. Like you don't expect it, but he jams up. Like a shred some rock of ages. Yeah, you're like a good. Tartec for Casey and the Sunshine Band or something.

You with Aaron's beard, though. Yeah, that does look sharp. Top right? You're a good-looking dude over there. Yeah, that's what I'm saying right there. Yeah. Again, if you're listening, just imagine what we're talking about. I mean, Aaron with the long hair also with that angle of your head.

Yeah, the expression and everything. It does look. It's a little suggestive. That guy's on a list. Dude, when they do these headshots, This is a very good photographer that did this head shots of me. Yeah. But they do make you do that tilt your head a little.

And I go, I would never just happen upon me like that with my head tilt. Yeah. Just sitting there. How about it? Give me a straight head. Yeah. It's all disturbing. Yeah.

Bald me is pretty scary. I think I'm happy with the three of us the way we are. If we had to pick three guys out of this whole chart. Nah, I wouldn't be dusty. I feel like that's not even. my hair though even the long hair version. That's your real picture man. Yeah but I'm wearing a hat in that

picture. Oh, they took the hat off with AI probably. It's funny it gave me Aaron's beard but didn't give me Dusty's beard. Yeah. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I like it though. That's a fun little chart. Who does Brian look like in there? Brian looks like

somebody with the beard? Who is that? I don't know. Let me find that other I'll find it. They use another AI photo of you somewhere. Some club used another AI photo of you. Yeah, the funny bone in St. Louis. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hand in the pocket. Oh, you can talk about the one. Yeah, the one I sent. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to find that. I saw it randomly on the Facebook. And I was like, is this another AI photo? I've been doing 100%.

Yeah, I've been doing a lot of radio interviews. it was one of the stations. They didn't tag me it, so I didn't even know it until you sent it to us. Yeah, let me, it'll be just a second. I just don't know why clubs are doing this. It's like, there's plenty of pictures. Yeah, well, this isn't a club. This is like a radio station, but yeah.

Even then. Yeah, I agree. I agree. Did you find it? Yeah, I did. Just give me a second. Yeah, it's a good one. I'm my air drop it.

It's like subtle enough that, you know, a normal person scrolling through wouldn't notice it. But I said, what I notice is you've never been this. comfortable on stage once in your life. Look at this. Yeah. I think this is, this was your headshot, like this right here. Yeah.

And then they just AI built out the rest of it. I've never rolled my sleeves up like that. Yeah. I mean, look how casual this looks. It looks like a Henry Cho pose. She does. It looks like they use Henry Cho's body. Yeah.

You're exactly right. Yeah, I can see me just prancing around the stage like Henry. Yeah. Oh, that may be, that made me laugh. Minnesota mornings. Yeah. Ever wonder if it's too late to chase a dream? Yes.

It's like, why not even, why use this? Brian Bates shows you that it is. I'm just thinking like what of your bit could you possibly be doing it with that post? A.I. likes to put hands in the pocket. Yeah. It's probably easier.

They don't have to do the hands. Yeah. So this is where we're talking about. hair. All right. Hair. And let's see here. What about it?

It's one of the distinguishing characteristics of mammals. All mammals have hair. But do non-mammals have hair? Some. Okay. But all mammals have it. Yes. Even hairless mammals like whales, dolphins, and elephants.

A mole rat? Have hair whiskers when they were born. You've seen a naked mole rat? Yeah. Poor thing. One of the ugliest creatures. God ever made right here. Look at this poor thing.

That's its whole life is just that. That's what your cat was hanging out with. Does Abby still have a hairless cat? She did. Yeah, I think so. Disgusting. But he's got some hair. You can see it.

Some whiskers there. Those hairlets cat, hairless cats get acne and you have to like pop the zits on. Oh, girl. I'm like, ugh. Uh-huh. Sorry. So like insects, spiders, birds, reptiles, they have hair-like parts, but not true hair.

Okay. Only mammals. How about that? Good for us. You didn't know that? No, I'm just saying it's nice to hear. Okay. We need it to win.

We talked about fish for a long time. Yeah. It's good to get back on mammals. So there are four color of hair, colors of hair. Yeah. Can you name them? Red, yes.

Blonde, brown, black. Yeah, you went from most unusual to most common. Well, I remember I looked up why we call red hair. Because red hair is orange. Why do we call it red? Do you know, is that in that? Did you look that up at all? Do you know why we do that?

Are you asking or are you going to tell me? I know why. Oh, okay. I don't know. Because it wasn't until very recently that we even distinguished between orange and red. Yeah, I remember you telling us before. We would call them the same thing as if they were the same, like different shades of the same color. Yeah.

So anything orange, they said that was red back in the day. Wow. Isn't that wild? That is wild. That's always bothered me. That guy's a redhead. And it's like, well, he's orange. Yeah, but it'd be weird to call him an orange head.

But if that's all you... I'm orange-headed. Yeah, you're right, though. Yeah. Huh, I never thought about that. What'd you just send me? Some are red, though. Tristan sent an updated...

Oh, okay. We got an updated chart here. Whoa. You look like Steve Fury. That guy... I still don't have Dusty's beard. Without a hat, I mean, my guy looks tough. Concerning.

Even the real me's not me. Ryan as... They're like, if we can't even have you be you. Gosh, yeah. AI goes, that guy probably has a lazy eye. So we're going to have the right one drift off there. They always improve my teeth. I see Brian with the hat and glasses.

Look at that. Well, this one in the middle is looking at the one over here. They will not give that guy a beard, will they? And I'm the one that most needs it. Godly, that looks like serial killer. It looks like Garth from Wayne's World. It does, man. Now, I don't know why they made me cool.

Kind of like, maybe kind of feminine looking. Yeah, even you, you're not you. Yeah, it's all a little, it's all a little weird. I kind of like this guy. Yeah. This is dusty with short hair and with a beard. That's me if I never got into comedy, never left Opelika. I'm just a little rougher.

Oh, that's fun. That's fun. So, yes, you named the four hair colors. He looks like a famous guy, though. Who is that guy? Debo? Dbo. Dbo Sweeney.

No, Debo from Friday. Oh, Dabo Sweeney. No, he gets it. All right. All right, hair. Okay, hair. Tristan, do not send any more. Tristan, keep sending them, bud.

The vast majority of the people in the world have hair. Have black hair. Who have hair, have black hair. 75% to 85%. Brown second, about 11%, which is common across the Americas in Europe. 2 to 3% of people, adults, have blonde hair. Oh, no. Well, it's sad. We don't have a lot of them. I like blonde here.

I know. Well, there's plenty of fake blondes out there, but only two or three. Two percent. That's sad. Primarily found in people in northern or eastern Europe. Yeah, that's sad. One to two percent have red hair. Wow. That's sad too. Most common in the British Isles in Scotland. Natural blonde hair. You ever wondered why it changes? It turns brown. Yeah, I would like. Because your body begins producing more dark pigment called Yumelan as you grow in age.

Okay. I mean, there's a lot of, I was blonde as a kid. Yeah, me too. But it doesn't last usually. The Andre Walker hair type system is most widely used system to classify hair. He was Oprah's hairstylist. Okay. And according to this system, there are four types of hair, straight, wavy, curly, and kinky.

Well, what was that? What was that last one? Straight, wavy, curly, and kinky. I don't... My hair's pretty straight. It's pretty dang. People think I straighten my hair. So it was mine.

It's totally straight. Yeah, so it was mine. I think we all got straight hair. Yeah. Aside from your bone marrow, hair... You got a few hairs in it. No. Straight hair and then a...

A few that aren't straight? Yeah. Listen, you guys missed the joke and it's not worth... Well, that was the joke I was trying to make when I put it on myself and said straight and then I was trying to... Oh, okay. The joke keeps getting missed. Yeah. It's inappropriate.

It's inappropriate? Yes. By the way, here's the average guy. You ever see this? It's supposed to be... This is the average guy on planet Earth. That's what he looks like. Cool, man.

I know that guy. You probably do. That's the most average guy. Why would he be 28? I think that's just the... the average age. But I mean, shouldn't the average age be like, I don't know, 38, 39? I sort of look like this guy, though.

I mean, if I didn't see that with no, no beard, no hair, I kind of look like this guy. If the average life expects to see is 80, shouldn't the average person be 40? But I don't think it's equally distributed among the ages, right? I don't know. It's a good question. I was watching, I was watching people bored in the plane of the day. I'm one of the first ones on because I'm pretty important. And you're watching everybody walk on.

I'm watching everyone walk on. Everybody's like, why is that guy staring at us? You see that guy? Just daring at all of us? That's what I wasn't looking at my phone, laptop, nothing. He's just looking right at us. He won't stop. But I was doing...

I imagine you're row two and you're looking over the headdress. Who's next? But I was doing the math based on average life expectancy and where I'm at now. Yeah. I'm about two-thirds of the way there. Oh, no. Based on average life expectancy now. Okay, based on average.

Not about on yours. Which would mean what I thought was two-thirds of the people that I encounter. in life or younger than I am in a third older. So I was watching these people bored trying to see if that fit. Well, where were you flying to? Because that might make a difference. I used to play a game at the airport. And you're walking around.

You try to, you see everybody at the gates. Try to guess where they're going based on the people. Okay. Tell you what, it's not a game you want to play out loud. Yeah. Because you'll, because you'll, you'll think some bad things. But I'm pretty good. Because the signs right there?

No, you try to guess before you can see it. You go, where are they going? Yeah. Sports jerseys usually give it away. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But also just a general vibe of people. They're probably going to Des Moines. Yeah.

Yeah, because they're eating like corn and stuff. Just corner of the cob at the airport. So this is the average human. That's the average guy. What says human, so even for women, I guess he represents. Average human, 28-year-old right-handed Han Chinese man

who speaks Mandarin and owns a cell phone. I don't know why. Only a cell phone is in there. I have some other questions. Just case he calls you. What kind of milk does he use? Anyway, sorry to interrupt. I just thought that was interesting.

That is interesting. Because he has black hair, the average man. Yeah. Aside from your bone marrow, hair is the fastest growing tissue in your body. growing about a half an inch each month. Okay. Slower than I thought.

Really slow for me. So that would be six inches a year? Six inches a year. Maybe this is in there. I don't know. But I heard somebody say that everybody has like a length of hair that they can grow. And then once it reaches that place, it does not stop growing. It doesn't grow anymore.

but it's different for everybody. Yeah, that's what I read. Yeah. Our buddy Dan Whitehurst has a very long white beard. Yeah. And he wants to let it grow out as long as it can. But he says it will stop. He talked to William Lee Golden of Oak Ridge Boys.

It does stop eventually. Does it just keep going? Wow. People have a genetically determined maximum hair length, known as terminal length. That's crazy. I never knew this. This guy that I was listening to seems to suggest that based on how healthy you are, it can grow longer. Oh, okay. Okay. Sorry, Brian.

Might be my last podcast. I don't think they'll pick up my daughter one last time. He's not talking about baldness. I know. Yeah. Yeah. He's talking about length of the hair you do have. Hair is so strong that the average head of hair, so not me, we'll say you guys, could support the weight of two full-grown elephants. What? Really? Like if you took all the hair strands and they were long enough, they'd be strong enough to hold together.

Yeah. Yeah. Not one individual. I don't like to hear that air. We've got one final one. This is Brian with Dusty's hair and beer. Now that's a good look. Look at that guy.

But now I don't have your hat. Yeah. That's all right, though. That's a good look right there. Yeah. Yeah. Look at that guy. The more I look like Dusty, the better I look.

Yeah. Yeah. You have Dusty's length there, but you're still kind of balding at the top. Yeah. Hey, I was like, look, I can only do so much, guys. I'm going to destroy humanity. But right now, this is all I can do. A bit of a five head, as I call it.

What's that mean? Well, you know, it's not a four head. It's a five head. Gotcha. Got a little widow's peak going there. Yeah. I got a widow's peak, though. I do, too.

I love Eddie Monster. Yeah. Okay. Thanks, Tristan. You got a thick hair line. I do. You know, balding, knock on wood, doesn't run in my family. All right.

Let's get to that. None of the men are bald in my family, which I think means I'm in the clear. Is that true? What are the genetics of balding? It's a big part of it is genetics, the biggest part. Now, your health in general. If I have chemo or something. Yeah, but beyond that, just your lifestyle and stuff like that can affect it.

Stress. Okay. Stress can have some of it. I know stress graze you too, doesn't it? It does. It can. It can. The statistics on the amount of men who are bald, almost identical, percentage is almost

identical to the age. So about 30% of men in their 30s have some degree of hair loss. Okay. Keeps going for you. About half of men. So you're 100. Everybody. I mean, I guess it eventually maybe doesn't go that way.

But about 50% of men age 50. have some hair loss. Okay. And then just keeps going. I thought that was interesting. That is interesting. Guys both said that. We think it's all interesting.

Well, the reason men go bald, more specifically, there's a few reasons. Men have higher level testosterone and the body converts testosterone into hormone called D.HT. And when that's, goes down, hair loss starts happening.

Okay. Now, you might be like, oh, guys who are bald have low testosterone. I mean, some of those famous athletes that we would think would be the biggest jocks are completely bald. Yeah. LeBron. LeBron's hairline. Yeah.

Keeps moving around. I mean, Michael Jordan. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And these are guys that spent millions on their body every year. Yeah. Yeah. So don't feel too bad.

And with you and all your millions. billions of dollars. And hair turns gray with age because specialized cells in the hair follicles gradually stop producing pigment. So when your hair starts coming... I was watching the sixth sense the other night. You were watching a great movie. Yeah.

But a little fun detail. Cole, the kid who sees ghosts, sees dead people. He's got a little white streak in his hair. And so does Donnie Wahlberg's character here. He's got a little white streak in his hair. the idea being they've been so scared and stressed and everything that their hair their hair went white. So that happens too, huh? Yeah, there's something called.

Do you find that on your own? Thought that was fun? Yeah. I don't know. I'm sorry, I didn't give that the. That's okay. But yes, you're correct. There's something called.

It's where, I mean, I did just zoom in on a shirtless man on the screen. So I apologize. But he's got white hair. I mean, you don't even see below his armpits. Okay, I can find it to everyone. There is something called Marie Antoinette Syndrome. You ever heard of this? It's a medical condition when a person's hair suddenly turns white or gray over a very short period.

The name comes from Queen Marie Antoinette of France. Legend says her hair turned stark white overnight before her execution in 1793 during the French Revolution. Was it stress related, do they think? Yeah. Okay. She was like to be executed. Okay.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It was because she was so relaxed. She was like, I'm about to go to my eternal rest. I don't even know. What were they even eating back then? Twigs.

So like, I don't know. Maybe I thought it was maybe a dietary thing. Overnight. Her last meal. Yeah. More twigs. Yeah. I think that happens to people when they go through morning or stress.

They, you know, like they always talk about presidents. right when they come into the White House versus when they leave the White House how they look. Yeah, they gray. Yeah. Trump doesn't change. It's not over yet. We've talked about this before, but the Bible says it's a sin for men to have long hair.

All right, we'll move on. It doesn't say that, but... First Corinthians 1114. Look, I'm a plumber. I know that. First Corinthians is not where they're giving out laws, but... I forgot. This is the new law, which You don't abide by. Well, there's no new law, but.

Okay. There's no new law? The law is a law. I mean, it's, uh, and he just, he says it's a shame for a man to have long hair, but what is, you know, what is long? Yeah, it's a dishonor to it. Yeah, what is it long? That's pretty long, man.

Pretty long compared to what? Compared to most people, dude. Well, let's look at the average man. Yeah, but this is our current society that we're living in, but this is the standard that we have created. That's true. You know? That's true.

Did you ever wonder why men wear wigs or used to wear wigs back in like the powdered wigs? Yeah, George Washington, all those guys. Yeah. And the judges in Canada and England still do that, by the way. Still wear those wigs. Really? Yeah. I'd like to bring that back and have our judges wear wigs.

Yeah. But why do they do that? Some sort of ritual. Were they all balding? It was a status symbol to hide hair loss and hide stuff like conditions like syphilis. And to manage hygiene issues like head lice. Now, I wouldn't. Okay, so it's the status.

But knowing that, if I saw a guy with a wig, I would go, that guy has syphilis and he's bald. You go, either he has syphilis or he's bald. Come on, bald. Hey, can I get a look underneath there? Just see what we're dealing with here. So, like, common folks, like, let's say a... Our listeners, yeah. Yeah.

In the older times, they wouldn't have wigs. Like a farmer wouldn't wear a wig ever. Even like a night out on the town with his wife. I don't think so. Or anything like that. It was just the big wigs. I think so. Is that where big wigs comes from?

Oh, man. How about that? The big wigs. And the farmer probably didn't have syphilis. You know what I mean? He probably just got married, had a family. Might have head lice. He wasn't like Ben Franklin run around France.

Yes. Yeah. Okay. King Louis the 13th of France started wearing wigs in 1620s to cover premature balding. And he was the kings. Everybody's like, oh, I guess we got to do that now. Oh, that looks cool, your lordship. Like an idiot.

What king was it? He might have looked cool. King Louis, the X-1-1-1. Not all wigs are bad. I mean, it could be a cool. Yeah, look at that guy. That's a cool wig. He's got a dusty sleigh wig on.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. So I see a trend here. It's probably an ancestor of mine. I mean, he looks like weird Al Yankovic. Yeah. So that's a wig. Okay, then when did they get crazy? So powerful monarchs wore them first, and then wealthy aristocrats started doing it.

Always, always. Yeah. And it also helped mask odor. Unwashed hair helped cover it up. These guys need to take baths. Nowadays guys just wear hats. Yep. If they don't wash their hair.

I wash my hair today, though. Look at this. Come on, guys. Yeah, because the hair episodes. It looks great. Yeah. Thank you. Is it a, do you do a deep scrub?

What do you do? Do you get in there? I don't really get in there too much. You know, sometimes I'll do a little something like that. Conditioner too? Not today. Sometimes I will. Do you the beard as well?

Sometimes. I didn't do that today. I've been just trying to keep it trimmed back. beard oil, beard balm, anything like that? Nah. Yeah, me either. I have some. Every time I get a haircut, they go,

you should do a beard balm. And I'm like, no, I'm good. Where do you get your haircut? I don't know why I did that voice. That was crazy. I don't even know what accent. Pops barbershop. I don't even know what that was supposed to be.

I'm sorry, everybody. Marlon Brando cuts my hair. Anyway. I did look this up, but I wonder what percentage of men have facial hair. I feel like it's probably been as high as... It's coming back. Right?

I feel like it's already back. And I'm saying it, but it used to be... It was frowned upon for a while. I don't think Asian men really do facial hair, but like Middle Eastern men all have... Beards just about. I'm talking about here in America, but... Oh, okay.

Talking about where it counts. Yeah. 54 to 55% of men have some form of facial hair. According to general service, Well, that's specific. Thanks. Yeah. I mean, look at this room.

Just me and Adrian. Katie, maybe. I don't know. But look, everybody's got facial hair. Everybody's got beard. Yeah, but we're all, we all have stuff going on. You know what I mean? Yeah, Nate grew that mustache for a reason.

There's something we're not supposed to know about. Huh. Have you heard about this trend now where people go to Turkey to get hair friends? Oh, yeah. I've heard all about it. it. You're about that? Yeah,

I've heard about that. All the rich and famous are going out there too, right? Yeah, Gary Veter has a joke where he went to Turkey for something unrelated, flying home. It was just all these guys and then he's bald. He's bald. It looked like he went there and then chickened out. That's really funny.

Why did they? Donated. That's got to be a sizable portion of their economy now, is Americans going there to get their hair done? Well, I don't know specifically about that, but they go there primarily because procedures call 60 to 80% less than in the United States or Western Europe. A hair trap is a plant in Turkey typically costs between 1,500 and 6,000. That's a wide range. Okay.

Compared to 10,000 to 30,000 of the U.S. So you save thousands of dollars. The plane ticket, you probably still come out in the black. But multi-billion dollar medical tourism powerhouse. tracks roughly one million international patients each year in Turkey. Wow. That's like their Disneyland. If they find Noah's Ark, too, that place is going to be going wild.

Yeah. Maybe that's why they're looking for it. They're like, wow, they're here. Yeah. Show them a little something. Yeah. Vetterbell basketball has a player from Turkey. Do they really?

Turkalia. Is that what it's called now? I think that's what they call it now. Oh, from the World Cup. They spell it different. Yeah. They don't call it turkey anymore. Well, I do.

It would always be turkey to me. We're probably turkey. It's got the U with the two little dots on it, which I don't know what that does to the U. Oh. No idea. Some celebrities who have had hair transplants, John Sina. Did he really? These are people who have admitted it.

Okay, good. You're not outing anybody. No. Everyone said this on an interview or a podcast or something. John Sina, Joel McHale. Yeah, I've heard him talk about it. Sam Smith. Sam Smith.

What are they doing with a hair? Like, what do they go in? They cut you? They just kind of drop it like it's a crop. Well, then the last one was Brian Orlacker. You remember him? Yeah. I mean, he went completely bald to just a full...

It was like his iconic look was the bald head. Yeah. And they just had a full head of hair. So a hair transplant works by moving healthy, permanent hair follicles from a don't area, usually the back or the sides of the head to thinning or balding areas. Oh, so they use your own hair. They don't have flucalicles in a cooler or something. I don't know.

I bet they do. I bet they do. And I bet somewhere somebody's having their follicles forcefully removed from them. Yeah. Somebody's failing a drug test. I was going to say someone's donating their follicles. No, there's somewhere where they're going, get in here and we're about to take your follicles. Guarantee it.

I want to have a hair transplant and I want Dusty's hair. I want Dusty to donate. Would you do it? No. All right. My dreams died. Yeah. Even to help me out?

Well, how? Look at that blushes hair you have. Yeah, but what do you want me to do? How many would I have to give you? Oh, it's whatever it takes. Yeah. Grow more. Would you give either of us a kidney?

No. About a lung. Definitely not a lung. Now, I don't think that... Bone marrow? Would you give us bone marrow? I don't, guys. I mean, are you guys sick? Yeah, we obviously need it. Let's say Brian and I are in the hospital.

Together. With the same illness. Same room. And they go, these guys desperately need a bone marrow transplant. We can go on the donor list, but we just found out Dusty Slay, perfect match. You can only give it to one of us. If I give you my bone marrow, next thing you know, you're out eating McDonald's again. And I go.

Now I'm a changed man. I told you to stop drinking Mountain Dew and he's McDonald's. Give it to me. You're not going to have enough to even face him. So just give it all to me. One of us should live. It's a drop of the bucket on me. He's going to feel a thing.

Dude, I'll tell you, at a real wake-up call. I mean, I didn't change anything. But my buddy from high school, I saw an Instagram, picture. His girlfriend posted that he's in the hospital. he signed up for one of these bone marrow donor transplant and matched with some kid. And he gave bone marrow. He saved some kid's life. Wow.

I was like to do that. So I went to sign up, but I was too fat to register. Oh, no. They were like, no, we don't need you. It was like the weight. Wow. It was like over whatever. They were like, you probably, your bone marrow is no good.

Wow. I'm not even going to check you out. Well, see, wow, like, if you're too big to give it. to you're not going to give it to be a waste and Brian at listen he's going to be two thirds of the way just based on your playing ride

and Dusty's saving his for a more worthy candidate Yeah well I would give you in a heartbeat It'll give you bone marrow I'll give you a kidney too But the doctor would go You don't want to live with a little memory. But I would give you a kidney, dude.

See, the kidney just feels like it feels like, yeah, you can live with one kidney. But it's not ideal, but you can make it work. But if you needed one, I'd hook you out. And then the one that, then they found out, oh, the one that I left in there, it actually is going bad. Yes, thanks, man. Would you give it stuff? No, you can't give it back. No backsies.

No backsies. Yeah, can you get it? You can't give it back and be like, well, I guess I'm just dying. We can't just hot potato of this kidney back and forth. Then I got to get a different donated kidney. You got a S&B for one? And then you got, you got my kidney. We're just shuffling kidneys between the three of us.

And you guys have been eating McDonald's. And then I come out and I got Brian's hair and you got his beard. I'm for it. You got to filter those kidneys. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You filter yours every day? Sarah filter.

Yeah, I mean. You got a Karen filter those kidneys. Yeah, you do. You got to care, like Karen. You got a care and filter. Yeah. Care and filter. Did we find out of Bigwig?

That's where it came from? Noah nodded. So that was a pretty good research. Thumbs up. The guy that loves she's the man or what's your movie? Yeah, with Amanda Bines. Yeah. Who was my generation's Audrey Hepburn.

Yeah, but look how you guys turned out. I mean, what are you talking about? We're running the world. The Greatest Generation. Just say that. And poor Amanda Binds. I know. What a talent.

That's what it's, yeah, she's such a talent. All right, here's some guys who, they speculate his head, hair. Okay.

No, I like that. Does I say it weird? A little gossip. LeBron James. Yeah. I think it's pretty well known at this point,

right? But he's never came out and said it. Yeah, well, he's too busy reading. Elon Musk. Okay. You heard that one?

Yeah, I've heard that one. yeah come on wow all right there is you know as barbara really just stepped it up have you ever had a just a haircut like oh my gosh what I do oh all the time millions of talk there one specifically though you're like dude I had a you ever cried after a haircut never cried but I I had a thing I'm gonna look for a picture of me where I had the worst haircut of my life so we've talked about you've had bowl cuts as a kid yeah not even even, they weren't even meant to be bull cuts.

We had that Alabama. There's a real Alabama kind of hair cut. Alabama bangs? Yeah. We both had that. But you've had the most different types, Dusty? Yeah. So look, okay, so this is me as a, I mean, that's, that's kind of.

It's very cute kid. We had four kids. We were like, just get in there, just cut it. That's too early to really be affected by them. I agree with you. I agree with you. I got one senior year. I just got a cut, and I looked at one of the magazines in there, and I go,

do it like this. And it did not turn out. It looked real bad. Real bad. One time asked for the Rachel. Now look at this. Look at this haircut. Oh yeah.

I had a buzz on the back of my head, but then a bowl cut on the front. Wow. I don't know. I thought I knew what I was doing. I've had a look like that, though. I didn't have the buzz on the back. How close? I'm pretty close.

Who's there behind you? That's my older brother. He looks happy. I think we're, I don't know where we are. Maybe my little brother's first communion or something. That's why he's dressed up and we're not. But that's what I was rocking. Who you drinking?

A little punch bowl. Come on, dude. Yeah. Got a little honeydew melon on that plate. Oh, yeah. A little cantaloupe. Yeah. Love that.

People really clown on honeydew melon. I love it. What kind of conversations are you? Who's clowning on honeydew melon? You know, Ryan, what's his name? Ryan Singer has the honey-do podcast? Oh, yeah. Ryan Sickler.

Sickler. And he said he called it that because it's the leftovers. The honeydew melon is always the leftover fruit. Oh. And I go, oh, that's the first one I eat. You eat that, you prefer that to a cantalote? Is that the green one? It just depends.

If you get a good one, it's the best. They can be bad. But honeydew melon is unbelievable. Yeah. You ever shaved your head? Yeah. Have you buried? Like to the cue bullet?

All the way. Really? Yeah. Do you take a like a razor to it? Not, well, actually I did do that one time. Yeah. Do you have a, I do? Not on my phone, but I have a good scalp for that.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Dude. His cap's hot. I can rock. All the hairs. I can rock all the hairs. Any hair. I feel like I can rock all the hairs. You've never had one you didn't like? It's three things I got. Comedy, swimming, and that's all I got. That's all I got.

You write great music? Yeah, that's all I got. Well, I just, I'm afraid. I've thought about cue balling it once. Not ever seriously, but I'm afraid of what my head looks like. Like the shape of it. It's probably a mess. Inch a month. So all you get, shave it off, you don't like it. Give it a month. But I can't just take a month off from the world. I think you should do it. Should have done it being COVID. Let's do it on the podcast.

No. No, we're not. Both of you guys. I'm already getting a tooth pool on the podcast. Oh, yeah, that reminds me. You know, I went to that place. Okay. It's in Franklin.

I want to. Okay. I'm not going to go. But yeah, let's hear you. They're the best. They hooked us up. It's Andrea Forbes at bio-dynastry Tennessee

and Franklin holistic dentist She's gonna pull my tooth Live on air They fixed my daughter's cavity She had a cavity They fixed it They got us in there

They're great How did they fix a cavity With that a holistic Well I don't know Put some eucalyptus on Yeah But they will pull that tooth for you Okay

But then I had just a gap in my Well you get an implant It's not Then it's not decaying Flesh How much you care about this podcast? Yeah, I mean. Not that much, man.

Do it. Okay. The worst up here, okay, I'll do it. If you guys will like me, I'll do it. Anyway, hair. Which tooth is. About hair? Yeah.

No, I forgot it. What was the story of the hair guy from the Bible? Samson. What was that all about? Well, he had hair. His hair gave him strength. He was a Nazarene. How?

How did his hair give him strength? Well, God made him that way. Yeah. And as long as he never cut his hair, he would always be just unbelievably strong. Okay. So he had a high maximum length on the hair. It doesn't get into that. Does it say it was long hair or was it just like really good hair? It would have had to been, right? He could have been a fro, I don't know.

Could have been. Yeah, I guess that's true. Okay. And then he got caught in a tree and died? No, his Delilah. Okay. His love interest. who lied to him many times. There really was,

I don't know that Samson was gifted with, she was pretty hot to be very smart. But because she said, tell me the secret. And he said, oh, if you tie me up with fresh ropes, I can't break free. And so then he woke up one day and he was tied up with fresh ropes. Okay. So he broke free.

And then she goes, oh, what's the secret? And he goes, oh, if you use new chains, I can't break free. And then so he woke up, all chained up, and they broke free. And then he, again... So why is he still talking to her? That's what I'm saying. I don't get that. He loved this woman, even though she was...

She just was a chatty, and she just kept wearing him down. I think that could be it, too. I don't know. And then eventually he said, if, as long as I don't cut my hair, I'll have strength. So he cut his hair for, or he went to sleep, I guess. She cut it. She cut his hair while I was asleep. And then his strength was gone.

And then they gouged out his eyes. and he was blind. Why were they trying to kill him? Well, he was, you know, I think he killed a bunch of their guys with a... Yeah, I forgot the Philistines or... Who got caught in a tree and died? I don't know. Well, Samson, you know, they kind of kept him locked up,

but kind of forgot about his hair over time. So his hair eventually grew back out and his strength came back and then he destroyed them in the temple. He stood in between the two columns and then knocked the columns away. came down, killed him, but killed all them too. Okay. I was thinking of Absalom. I always get them mixed up.

Yeah. I always get Samson and Absalom. Classic mixed up. He got caught in a large oak tree. He was riding a mule during a battle. Poor guy, they didn't give him a horse. He's riding a mule. Some dumb mule.

Second Samuel. I mean, that's pretty close to the same place in the Bible. Okay. So they're probably hanging out. Yeah, probably. Okay. Knew about each other. but that's just the story of Samson.

Is it a metaphor for something or? No, it's a real guy. Why did he make his hair? Why about his hair? Well, you know, I'd need to, you know, reread it. Yeah, I'm not trying to. But a hair, you know, that's why I'm so strong. That's why I said you good swimmer.

Now, there's something about the Nazarene valve that, not to cut your, hair. Now, I don't know why that made him strong and not other people, but there was something to that. Okay. I'm sure we'll have plenty of comments. And it was so strong, they named the suitcases after him. Yeah. Is that right? I'm guessing Samsonite is about Samson, right? Sure. Okay. I saw a, uh, a, uh, what's the, was there a fair? How about that? The company Samsonite, a religious man, Jesse Schwater, which sounds like a fake name. It sounds like his name was Jesse Waiter. And he goes, no, I'm Jesse Schwater.

He named one of his early high durable suitcases, Samson, to highlight the product's incredible strength. How about that? You learn something every day. Well, Brian's trying to teach us about hair. I'm sorry. Now I want to know, could you look up Samson and why? I mean.

Samson, why hair? that's the Google. It was a physical symbol of his lifelong Nazarite vow to God, meaning the hair itself wasn't magical, but rather an outward sign of his sacred promise and complete concentration to consecration to God. Yeah, so God gave him the strength as long as he kept his promise to God that he wouldn't cut his hair. But I think the hair is a symbol of his commitment. It's not actually about the hair, right? Well, if that's the, if he's saying don't cut it, and then and then he did, then that, you know, that's

meaning that you're not doing it. But I'm saying it's about the vow to God, not necessarily just about the hair. I don't think God cares what his hair look like. Well, but the vow is the hair, though. So he does care. I think what you're getting at is, is this that have to be a literal story,

or can it just be a metaphor? I'm just wondering why God cared about hair. All this stuff. Uncut hair represented a person set apart for God's special work. Okay, so we're all saying the same thing. Yeah. What was the fairy tale about the, lady up in the castle or something that let down.

Raponzel. Tangled. Yeah, she tangled? I didn't, but I know Raponzo. And what happened with her? She let it down. And then guys climbed up it? Yeah, suitors would crawl up her hair, right? Raponzo.

Yeah, we're off the Bible. This is not a biblical character. Yeah, I don't remember what, but I guess that's how she was, you know, you know, trying to find her. Entangled, it's 70. feet long. Yeah. So it's an Italian fairy tale. But she was, was she trapped up there like a witch or something? I think she was trapped up there by a wicked, probably a witch. Yeah. It's always a witch. All right. And she didn't say, hey, somebody bring a ladder? A sorceress took her and raised her as her own on top of a tower that you couldn't

get to. You had to fly up there on a broom. So then she had long hair, so she would let her friends up there, let down her hair. They'd crawl up and hang out. Sounds like a pretty good life, actually. Just hang out with your buddies all day. And then they'd leave at the end of the day? Yeah. Yeah.

Jay Flake opened for John Christ a couple weeks ago. And he posted a photo of them taking a bow on stage. And it's Jay, John, and Caleb Elliott. And you only see the tops of their heads. And it looks like a hair transplant evolution commercial. Because Jay's bald. John's got a good head of hair. and then Caleb's got the fro.

It was quite an evolution there. Dusty, I thought that might be funny. No, that is funny. Okay, I can tell you. You're funny too. You're leaking oil over here. No, I feel good. I feel good.

I'm just listening. I'm trying to take it in. Okay. What's the long as you ever gone without washing your hair? I don't go very long. I don't know, a week, maybe. You think you said you could pull off any haircut? You ever think about getting dreads?

I have thought about that many times. Yeah. You think you could pull it off? I'm probably not going to ever do it. But I, when I was younger, I really did want to do it. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how dreads works.

Is it about like, could you just do dreads right now? Or it's probably a whole process. I think it's a bit of a process. Okay. Yeah. Walkland Patterson got dreads on the cruise. Do you remember that? Well, he just got braids.

Braids, right. But it's like I got a tuft kind of in the back. If I don't brush my hair and I've gone stretches without brushing it, and it'll kind of start to dread up back there. Okay. We'll do it one day. Yeah. I looked up.

You know, I grew up in the 80s and guys' hair, not that huge of a difference any decade, really. But girls' hairs, I mean, the 80s was all the big, boofed out hair with the hair spray. And it's pretty crazy when you look at photos from my high school and stuff. So like, like, looking like this. I like that. I mean, there was some of that, yeah. I wish that was back. It looks like olive hair when she wakes up.

Yeah. Yeah, like pretty soon after that, I feel like by the late 90s, if you see like a high school photo, it's kind of straight. I'm trying to think even if I were to think of like a quintessential 90s female haircut, I don't even know what I'm about to see. I know. That's Sarah Jessica Parker hair right there? Yeah. I like that. That's a good look.

That is a good look. Let me look up with the 90s. I looked up. Actually, I have been able to. Oh, okay. A lot of stuff. The 20s was the Bob. The 1920s?

The 1920s? The Bob haircut for women. The Bob? Oh, God. That's, foof. That's why we went into a depression. That's not a good haircut. In the 30s, Hollywood Glamour took over,

so there was more finger waves, whatever that is, or cell waves, things like that. Okay, yeah, this looks a little. this is a little this Jean Harlow Frankly my dear All that kind of stuff

Yeah The 40s women World War II was going on So women became more practical With shorter hair Victory rolls Became associated with the period Victory rolls

Does that be like like these Like that roll on the top there Like a cheddar biscuit Like Rosie the Riveter I don't know 50s We're getting into Greece territory here right Yep

I like the 50s 50s too, big fan of that. Yeah, Greaser Elvis guys. This looks like she's on the Jetsons. What is that in here all about? That's wild looking. Women head in the 50s big bouffantes, poodle cuts. A poodle cut.

What's a poodle cut? That's probably what that is. A little too on the nose there. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, okay, like this. Oh, like Lucille Ball. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Little... I'm not into that. It looks like, what do you call it when you do that to a loaf of bread at the top? Eat it. You know what I'm talking about? You, like, slice the top? Score it. Score it.

I don't ever heard that. The 60s, again, this is women. The beehive became a thing. Yeah. Beyonce? No, no. The beehive haircut, yeah. Pixie.

Guys were doing the Beatles haircut. Yeah. Some of these are crazy, dude. Yeah, I don't know. Like, dude. She looks like Gerald from Haye Arnold. Yeah. Like, it just keeps.

Yeah, it's a dude. It just keeps going. The 70s, almost get to my ear, the Farrah Fawcett blowout. Okay. The Farrar Fawcett haircut. Okay. Yeah, I like that. She kind of pioneered that look.

Yeah. She had an iconic poster. Right there, yeah. I'm into that, too. Absolutely. Yep. The 80s. Big, perms, T's, we already talked about that.

The 90s, the Rachel from Friends. Yeah. Became a thing. 2000s, it says flat irons, side bangs. Okay, is this what you had growing up right here? The Lizzie McGuire hair?

Yeah. Where it just kind of looked like nine different people worked on it at the same time. And they go kind of do whatever you want. I like the Avril Avril Levine. Avril Levine? That looks like just a straight- Up a little bit. Straight haircut.

Yeah. That's a 90s look, though. How about Miranda from losing McGuire? It's a lot going on there too, huh? I know. I'll pass. Did you guys ever have a mullet? No.

Well, I did in college very briefly. You would think that I would have, but I never did. You have people in your family with mullets? I had, you know, there were people around with mullets. But I don't, my dad never had one. My brother-in-law's never had them. Anybody now? My cousin might have had one.

Nobody in my family now has them. But nobody was doing it ironically. This was just their haircut. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. There's a lot of guys doing it ironically. I had a buddy, Brady Smith when I was growing up. He kind of had the curly hair mullet back there.

Oh, okay. You know. Yeah. All right. We can wrap it up. You can wrap it up. That's hair. I think we covered it all.

I think we did. All right. Let's go with the future of hair. Well, I feel good. I feel good. Dusty's top five country songs about hair. I should have did one,

but I don't have. You could do it. Long-haired country boy by Charlie. That would be number one. Can you think of one? Okay, so that's one. Can you name another country song about hair? I don't know.

It takes me a second. Okay. But long hair country boy, that's for sure. Willie Nelson. had a red-headed stranger. That'd count, right? It's not necessarily about long hair, though.

I thought you just said about hair. Oh, about hair. I mean, it references hair. You comb her hair by George Jones. The haircut song by Ray Stevens. Flip my hair by Jesse James Decker. No, you can't just Google it. It would take a little research.

Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. You didn't disrespect the process. What is this? Amher hour? My bad, dude. My bad. man.

It's the whole process. All right. Yeah. All right. Well, this weekend, I'm doing a college, Washington State. All right. This weekend, I'm at Cincinnati at Commonwealth Comedy Club. And then the rest of October, I'm in Orlando at the Funny Bone.

I'm at Raleigh at Good Nights. I'm back in Charleston at Whitson Comedy Club. I'm in Paducah. It's part of the Paducah Comedy Festival. I'm in St. Louis at the Funny Bone. even though I'm not on the poster exactly, but I am there. And I think that's it. So big October.

All over. What a pencil thin mustache by Jimmy Buffett? That's a good one. Also, long-haired redneck by David Allen Co. That's a really good one because my long hair just can't cover up my redneck. This is Aaron Weber speaking. This is Thursday, tomorrow night. I'm going to be in Birmingham, Alabama at the Stardome Comedy Club.

One show only later this month. I'm heading out to Sanford, Francisco at the punchline, Sacramento at the punchline. Then I'm rounding off the month in Rutherford, New Jersey at Bananas Comedy Club. So come out and see me, coast to coast, baby. All right. Get bananas. Have bananas. All right. Hey, listen. Thank you guys for tuning in. This has been a great podcast, all about hair, which continues to be good podcast after good podcast after good podcast. And we appreciate you. We're having a good time. the public guy if we weren't then we want to die

cots with brian erin and dusty these three guys are old fat and mustyers podcast