The Nateland Podcast - #39 Con Artists ft. Gary Vider

Episode Date: March 24, 2021

On this week's podcast, we're joined by fellow comedian Gary Vider to discuss con artists. Gary shares stories about his dad being a con man and how his dad got him involved in scams even at a young a...ge.   Co-hosts: Brian Bates ( https://www.instagram.com/brianbatescomic) & Aaron Weber ( https://www.instagram.com/realaaronweber)   Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - Nateland@NateBargatze.com   magicspoon.com/NATE 

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello folks, what's up everybody? Welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. Sitting here with Aaron Weber, Brian Bates. I had trouble saying folks this weekend on stage. Oh, you said it? Well, no, I didn't say it like saying, this weekend on stage oh you said it and well no i didn't say it like saying hey folks on stage but uh i was doing and trying to tell an old story about po folks remember that restaurant no uh oh yeah you remember it and then uh yeah it's like it was like a
Starting point is 00:00:39 captain d's type all right you had a you had a waiter though the bates family loved it yeah yeah it was like uh it's kind of like a you know like the fast food kind of place but a restaurant yeah a little bit server yeah a little bit yeah in between yeah and steak and shake that kind of vibe yeah a little bit but it's like very i feel like it's very southern you know like after church packed you know that kind of poor folks it's po folks po folks and so i was saying that on stage uh i actually just changed it and started saying something because i was talking about oh charlie's before and i just made it oh charlie's after just to avoid saying the word yeah because i for some reason it was like po folks
Starting point is 00:01:18 like it's just i don't know i was having i just had trouble with it on stage. Did you mention the Silver War? Yeah, I did that joke, Silver War. Every time I say it, I think about it. I just want to be done. I'm almost done telling that joke, and so I still have it, but I say Silver War. Yeah, and so it sounds like we did pretty good this weekend, Huntsville. I was able to do like 40, 45 minutes new.
Starting point is 00:01:46 That's awesome. I'm not saying it's all great. I would say half of it feels pretty good. So anybody coming to these club shows, I can think I can get to 40, 45, you know, around there of new. And then I only, you know, did probably 15, 20 from the special. Yeah. So that's not bad.
Starting point is 00:02:06 A lot of people waited this weekend. Everybody that came out to Huntsville, Stand Up Live, thank you. They were awesome, man. And yeah, I mean, I would ask is like, who watched the special? And Sunday night, a lot of people watched it. And then, but the other shows, Friday and Saturday, was, you know, you could tell. Like, it wasn't a lot of people were waiting because they were so close, I guess, to, you know, we're in Appleton, Wisconsin coming up. So, but it was good.
Starting point is 00:02:35 Yeah. Yeah, special's been good. Everybody's been very nice. A lot of people, you know, a lot of people reached out. A lot of people have been very, you know, cool about it. Their views have been very nice. You know, it's all crazy. It's great.
Starting point is 00:02:50 It's all nerve-wracking. You just wait for, like, you know. Because it's like you read something bad about it. It's like that's the hard part as a comedian. You read if someone says anything bad, like, it's just nobody. Not saying it's nobody, but it's just a comment. It's like a random kind of thing. Yeah. And it just gets in your head.
Starting point is 00:03:06 You're just, I think about that person. As a fan of The Office, to get a comment from BJ Novak, that would be awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was very cool. Yeah, I've never met him. But, yeah, that was cool. Yeah, there was a lot of, yeah, I mean, it's definitely, the response over the Tennessee kid, the Tennessee kid, obviously, the response was very good.
Starting point is 00:03:27 The response is always good, but you can just tell. I don't know. It's kind of interesting. It's just different. It's a lot more. It's a good thing. It's wild. It's crazy.
Starting point is 00:03:43 It's wild. All right, everybody. uh as always thanks for commenting uh you know all this youtube instagram twitter apple podcast reviews nate landon a bargetti.com uh also we're doing a live show we've mentioned i think both shows are sold out at zany's uh but we are going to read uh you know it's going to be a comment heavy show that live show i think and i'm hoping to take if you have comments and you want to be a comment heavy show, that live show, I think. And I'm hoping to take, if you have comments and you want to ask them live at that show, we will be able to do that.
Starting point is 00:04:09 We'll have someone with a microphone walking around. And that's the goal of it. I think that would be the best for a live show is to do something like that. Yeah. And we're going to film it. So you better see it. And then, if you want to email those specifically for that live show,
Starting point is 00:04:29 if you're not going to be there, or even if you are going to be there, maybe you don't want to ask the question on the microphone, email natheland at nathbargetsy.com and just put in the subject, live podcast, so we know to pull it out. Josh Oler. Oler. Oler. Dusty Slay is my favorite guest yet.
Starting point is 00:04:51 You guys have a great rapport with Dusty, and it seems like he's been on the show since you were talking about fast food and just desperately trying to explain Wall Street. This is my favorite episode yet by far. Yeah, Dusty was a great guest. And then Dusty's had a bit of a run. He's had a bit of some problems since then. Yeah. He's like publicly said it. Right.
Starting point is 00:05:11 We're not. Right. He's been battling a non-COVID-related health issue for a while now. And then he had to have emergency surgery recently. So he's recovering from that. Yeah. So keep, Dusty, in your prayers, thoughts, whatever you do. But, yeah, yeah. I think he's doing that. Yeah. So keep Dusty in your prayers, thoughts, whatever you do. But yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:27 I think he's doing good. Yeah. We don't want to alarm anybody. Be like, well, that was the last time Dusty would ever be on. Then we can start the episode with Dusty is dead, everybody. No, he's doing good recovering from that. And so, yeah, everybody think about him. DavidWR99, I watched because I saw Nate on Rogan's podcast.
Starting point is 00:05:51 You guys owe me two hours of life. What was that? I kept expecting something interesting to come up, but it never did. What was your response to that guy? I said, welcome to the show. Welcome to the show, David. This is what it is, dude. How did he, you know, what did he want?
Starting point is 00:06:10 I just love the idea that I go, I'll check out that guy's podcast. I just, wait, what is this? What is this? What was that? I thought, what turn? I don't see how you could go two hours into this and you keep thinking, like, something's got to. Yeah. Like, do you think this is a plot twist? You're an hour 40 minutes in. Like, all right, still time to turn it around. into this and you you keep thinking like something's got it yeah like they you know like do you think it's a plot twist you're an hour 40 minutes in like all right still time to turn it
Starting point is 00:06:29 around he goes he can still do it like we think the real host come tap us on the shoulder and we let them do a actual podcast yeah dude we are a time waster here that's what this is that's what it's about derrick visor visor visor visor great to hear Nate on Rogan I literally stayed up all night listening to it and watching the special the next day I took a nap and slept through pickup time for my son's school I woke up to my wife calling me from work to say where are you the school has called me three times I guess they knew to call the wife I think they all know most schools besides the one that it called me, which that joke I have about the bus joke,
Starting point is 00:07:09 the lady from the school did call me. But one thing that I don't say in it is I did say, I go, I'm her dad is exactly how I responded. And the lady goes, I know your wife didn't answer. So there's the truth to it. She did try my wife and my wife wasn't answering so it was a backup call uh samuel house my wife and i just watched a special and both in tears at the part about being in charge of the family now my dad had his pants fall down in the best buy parking lot slipped on posters on the floor at an office
Starting point is 00:07:42 depot and somehow had his underwear fall down inside his shorts while at a local electronics store. I feel like I'm not only in charge of the family, but also his wardrobe. That's so great. Man, if I had all that stuff, I would be talking about it all. I was with you when your dad left the car door open. Yeah. We just come out a few hours later and just wide open. Valhalla, when we golfed.
Starting point is 00:08:09 Yeah. And I should have said that. I don't know why I didn't say that in the special because it was. It was five hours. We were gone for five hours. And then we go back, and I'm like, Dad, what are you – because he just met us there, and we were riding back with him. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:23 And I'm like, what are you doing? I go, Dad, your door's open. And his driver's side door for five – wasn't it five hours? Yeah. Just open in the parking lot. Surprised it didn't even start it. I mean, the battery wasn't run down. I mean, just – like, I think he opened it.
Starting point is 00:08:38 I think he went to the back of the car and just forgot about it. I'm going to start talking to my parents, and the Dentons are long my parents' best friends. We're all going to get together because I was like, I need to go through some old. I want some family stories. Our family has some, obviously, the Bergettsies I've talked about a lot, but I need to get some new stories.
Starting point is 00:09:11 You know, I'm related to the Dentons you are yes that's even crazy so the dentons the wayne and linda didn't who are our family's best friend i mean they've been our best friends it's like my you know since i was a kid i was i don't know my whole life and uh so we randomly find out he's related to the dent how how how are you related his uh grandfather and my great-grandmother were brother and sisters i think yeah wow how crazy is that yeah that's the south for you that's the south the south is just that like we're just if if you're from here yeah too yeah i feel like it's even more, like it's something, you know, another way. Rita H., Richard Klein is the actor who played Larry on Three's Company. I'm not sure this fact will make Brian feel all that much better about saying Richard Klein instead of Robert Klein.
Starting point is 00:09:57 She's totally right. We've been binging Three's Company lately. Really? We love Larry on Three's Company. And so I think I did get in my head yeah y'all been going through seinfeld and three's company yeah we don't like anything came out before yeah 1999 yeah or after 1999 i mean to say yeah they're uh that's just on y'all people just drive by and see that on tv and they're like oh god and then you're gonna watch
Starting point is 00:10:21 any up-to-date like watch the local news. You all go to Channel 5. And then I've been watching Entourage. I re-watched Entourage. Great show. Great show. Could not air today. Yeah. It's unreal.
Starting point is 00:10:35 Yeah. Just the jokes, obviously the jokes that, I mean, it's wild, dude. Yeah. And it's 2006. It's not like, you know what I mean? If you watch Eddie Murphy, Delirious or something,'re like yeah well that was 1985 this is 2006 and then you're like dude yeah it's turned i mean quick and that show that there's no way i mean i would love it i love entourage and uh i've watched it i'm re-watching it it's just so good i watch it every night and there there's so many episodes, and I'm going to go through
Starting point is 00:11:06 and watch the movie again. And they do a podcast, like the Victory Podcast. And I haven't listened to it, but I've followed online. I see the clips of it. This is how everybody listens to this podcast. Same way. That's how most, a lot of people come in. They're like, oh, the podcast is great.
Starting point is 00:11:22 Never heard a full episode in their life. So all you folks that are listening to these whole episodes we love you the most always remember that and the other guys we love them too but they but they're uh you listen to that the victory podcast about that and they're uh i think they were talking about like could there be another one it's like you would just have to it'd be much different it'd be much different. It'd be much different. It'd be tough. I mean, like, you know, them talking about girls and, like, I mean, it's wild, dude. Queso. Queso scoreboard.
Starting point is 00:11:52 Queso? Queso. Queso. Queso. I bet it's Queso because it's a name. Queso scoreboard. You think that's their name? I've heard.
Starting point is 00:12:00 Huh? It's spelled Queso. Scoreboard is Hispanic. You think scoreboard's the last name? Queso scoreboard Yeah, why are you questioning that, Aaron? That's clearly a real name My bad
Starting point is 00:12:13 I have a friend who played for the Washington Generals They would play hard for 95% of the game Then give up at the end so the Globetrotters win So I wonder that game they won They must have just got too far ahead is that what we said yeah and then we lost track of time lost track of time yeah yeah and then it was like too much that's pretty good though 95 basically being like yeah we go hard until you know as hard as they they can go i mean they got to let them do like yeah they don't go
Starting point is 00:12:41 hard all the time because there's people pulling their pants down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's like Samuel's dad. Samuel's dad would love the Globetrotters. Yeah, it's like he'd fit right in. Jake Hammett. Bill Elliott's nickname is Awesome Bill from Dawsonville. He's from Dawsonville, Georgia. Best nickname ever.
Starting point is 00:13:01 Yeah, that is true. Awesome Bill from Dawsonville. That is a great nickname. That's amazing. That's a great nickname. Yeah. From Dawsonville, Georgia, best nickname ever. Yeah, that is true. Awesome Bill from Dawsonville. That is a great nickname. That's amazing. That's a great nickname. Yeah. From Dawsonville, Georgia. EJ, is Aaron getting healthier?
Starting point is 00:13:13 He looks good on this episode. Maybe the gout has inspired some positive changes. Aaron, are you getting- Thank you. How do you feel? I feel great. Yeah, you woke up today, feel great? Yeah, I feel solid. Healthy? I mean How do you feel? I feel great. Yeah, you woke up today, feel great? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:25 Feel solid. I mean, it's all relative. Yeah. But did you get after this weekend? What do you mean? Eating-wise? No. Anything crazy?
Starting point is 00:13:35 No, I was pretty good, man. Yeah? Yeah, I've lost a little bit of weight. Yeah. I don't think the gout had anything to do with it. But if the gout comes back, that'll kick it into a different gear. Yeah. Maybe the gout's helped you.
Starting point is 00:13:48 You can't get to the refrigerator as often as you might want to because you're going to limp on over there. Michael Huck. Huck. Michael Huck. Huck. Huck. Congrats to body wash on more people hearing his nose than his stand-up.
Starting point is 00:14:07 Body wash is a good one. Body wash is good. Body wash is a really good one. Yeah. Yeah. That's just a funny roast. Yeah, that's a funny roast. More people know about your nose than your stand up.
Starting point is 00:14:19 Willard Garrett. Hello, folks. I'm from Auburn, Alabama, right next to Dusty's hometown of Opelika. What did he say? Opelika. Opelika. Hometown of Opelika. There was a kid named Tristan Pittman, who is by far the best athlete of our age. He would dominate every year playing running back. Our last year playing, Tristan hit a growth spurt and became even more physically dominant. Unfortunately, Tristan was over the weight limit because he was so much taller and stronger than the average kid his age. Instead of dropping weight
Starting point is 00:14:50 to carry the ball, Tristan's coach decided to play him at offensive line and run a fumble rooskie every play. The quarterback would set the ball on the ground and the right guard, Tristan Pittman, would pick the ball up and run for a touchdown every single play. Tristan Pittman is the single reason that Fumble Rooskies are now banned from Auburn Rec League in football. Wow. I mean, that's good coaching right there. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:17 You just figure, I got to get him the ball. And he's like, you want me to cut weight? He goes, no, I think I got a better way. And then just drop the ball on the ground and grab it. We used to run a play called the Auburn Special. It was when I was real young playing football, where we'd put the running back at left guard and just hand it and do a reverse to the left guard.
Starting point is 00:15:40 Like the most illegal play of all time. But it would happen so fast, I don't think we ever got caught. Yeah. But you can just cheat like that when you're that young. So you would hike the ball and what? Give it to what? The left guard. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:55 Just hand it off to the left guard. Oh, just like you would never go through your legs. Quarterback would take it, just hand it to the left guard right there. And then he would run. Yeah, which you're not allowed to do. But you never got caught out. Never got caught because you never think that you're handing hand it to the left guard right there. And then he would run. Yeah, which you're not allowed to do. Yeah. But you never got called out. Never got called because you never think that you're handing it off to the lineman. I know, but do they not see the end result when the lineman –
Starting point is 00:16:13 But it's the running back who has the ball. The running back and the left guard switch positions for that play. So we huddle up. Oh. And then the left guard would be in the backfield. Yeah. And the running back would be on the line. You just never think to look for that.
Starting point is 00:16:27 Was the ref on the phone, dude? It still seems like he could catch that. I don't know how. When you're six and seven and eight, there's not much of a physical difference between those kids. Yeah. So it's not like you notice a huge fat guy in the backfield. They're just two kids.
Starting point is 00:16:43 The other team's got to be like, I swear to you. Some guy sounds like a crazy person. You go, I swear to you, that ball's not – the guy on the line has the ball. Yeah. It seems like the coach of the other team would call it out. Yeah, and be like, hey, what are you doing? That's crazy. Yeah, that might not be – is it illegal?
Starting point is 00:17:00 It's 100% illegal, yeah. I remember the coach being like, if we get caught, we get caught, but let's just keep doing it. And y'all did it just constantly. Oh, it was – And he would score? You get a big gain, yeah, because you just never think to – Look, that's where the – you know, that's where it's coming from.
Starting point is 00:17:17 Man. Have you ever seen those plays, like, where you do, like, the quarterback will go, oh, I have the wrong ball you can do all these tricks and then just well they have like somewhere people act like they're running off yeah like that yeah it's just all that's just gamesmanship i think i think that should be encouraged well i mean literally cheating giving the ball to the oh yeah that's a little different yeah that could be different but like like the Fumble Rooski is, I guess, game and chip. You know, the guys playing within the rules.
Starting point is 00:17:49 Right. And suddenly they just banned the Fumble Rooski. Chandler Starks, you guys talking about the meteorite that hit the lady reminds me of a time when my dad had what he thought was a meteorite crash through the roof of his office. He bragged about it. It was in the paper and even the local news station with what everyone called the Stark's Rock.
Starting point is 00:18:09 Just to find out it was a piece of metal from the mulch company down the street that broke off of a machine and shot up in the air. The Stark's Rock. I don't understand how they could mistake a piece of metal for a rock from outer space. You know, I think you're just brightening up a lot going on in in the news there and they're just excited to be like you tell them anything they're like yeah this is great like uh something's happening you know that's great ian renfro i saw you in a big theater last year but now i could not even be more excited to see you perform in appleton wisconsin at a smaller club. Just praying you don't bring Goutfoot or Ned Schneebly as an opener.
Starting point is 00:18:48 I love them both. However, I feel like their unique comedy brands of awkwardly interacting with guests and audibly breathing into microphones is better suited for a podcast. Aaron and I, we're starting our own tour. The breakfast and dinner. Oh, yeah. That's pretty good. Breakfast and the gout? How about own tour, the breakfast and dinner. Oh, yeah. That's pretty good. Breakfast in the gout?
Starting point is 00:19:07 How about that? Breakfast in the gout. You should just call it the brunch tour. Oh. Lump it up. Oh, breakfast in the gout. Yeah, that's a good tour. I love that they just think that's our whole act, is me just walk around,
Starting point is 00:19:20 hey, how are you, try to fist bump people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How did that fist bump come off? People like that? No, no. They do not. They were not fans. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:32 They go, what is hair? Yeah. Got to close up. We got slow motion of it. We should get some nice slow motion of just. I'll do a slow-mo cut of it. Dusty not realizing it's happened because he's about to have surgery at that point. Like he's, you know, he's got other stuff on his mind.
Starting point is 00:19:50 As everybody knows, I, so, you know, I talked about quitting diet soda last week. I'll be honest with you, I've had only one. It's not bad. I had, that is good. For quitting, I had one. The night of my special special which the day i was supposed to quit i did good all day and then uh that night like laura had to go to her laura laura and harvard went to their uh a family thing and i was like i had to do still some more stuff
Starting point is 00:20:18 so i actually was just stayed home alone which i tell you what when you're when you've been married and stuff and you're not doing anything like if someone's like you know because some people like you got to watch your special on a i didn't watch it but you know it's like your night of your special you're just alone and as a as a husband and a father you're like the greatest night of my life it's the best gift i could be given yeah it's just like to be like you just get to be alone like i mean you feel it is like your parents going out of town. You're just like, I mean, I'm upstairs. It's Kramer when Jerry leaves, and he's doing all the different stuff. I play video games for a little bit.
Starting point is 00:20:51 I'm watching shows. I'm doing all kinds of stuff. But I went and I got Sonic. It had about the biggest Diet Coke you could have. They have great ice. And I had a sonic blast. But that was the only one? That was the only one.
Starting point is 00:21:08 So you basically just started the day after your special. Yeah, yeah. I feel like your special coming out, that's a special occasion. Yeah, yeah. You can have a Diet Coke. I celebrated with a Diet Coke. And so since then, I've not. I've had a lot of unsweet tea, which I wasn't, you know,
Starting point is 00:21:23 which the guy I talked to today, he was like, still not great, but it's like, I was like, come on,, which I wasn't, you know, which my, the guy I talked to today, he was like, still not great. But it's like, I was like, I was like, come on, man, we can't, you know, I'm losing my mind here. I'll tell you what it's helped with. I haven't felt bloated, to be honest. And not even, not that I'm eating great. I'm eating, it has made me eat better.
Starting point is 00:21:39 Because I don't, I haven't got fast food. Because it's like, you just, once you take soda out of the equation, like soda is like my trigger to, I want all this stuff. You know, pizza, I think, you know, we had pizza this weekend. I didn't eat it. Because I just didn't really want it. Like, I'm not having a Diet Coke. But I drank a lot of unsweet tea. Which I don't mind.
Starting point is 00:21:58 Yeah. So we got a few people I want to read out. Some of you guys sent some stuff in that you want to stop. And so one was Derek Visor saying, his was just saying, I don't want to read out some of you guys sent some stuff in that you want to uh stop and so one was derrick visor saying his was just saying i don't want to go to work he doesn't want to say that anymore because he has a six-year-old son and he wants to teach him that uh work's important and create a work ethic so if he hears his dad complain about work then maybe he won't want to work yeah also would help if he just remembered to pick his son up from school he's got bigger
Starting point is 00:22:24 maybe he should work on that maybe that should be one thing you know just remembered to pick his son up from school. He's got bigger issues. Maybe he should work on that. Maybe that should be one of his things, you know, to remember to pick his kid up. Heather Esposito, sriracha veggie straws. I don't even know what that is. Yeah, it sounds healthy. But maybe it's not bad. Sriracha veggie straws. Yeah, maybe she's too healthy.
Starting point is 00:22:43 Yeah. And she's like, I need to get some more bad food in my life yeah but maybe they're bad i don't know if they're good or bad well that's a tough word to spell sriracha yeah sriracha one too many hours in there uh see if they're good maybe they're not good oh i've seen these things before yeah it's probably like snack yeah it's probably like everything it's probably a very fun snack that you you assume is healthy and then yeah i think harper eats stuff like this like it's like veggie straws it's like but i bet it's like you think it's healthy and it's like it's not and then you get really into it and you're like i gotta get off this stuff uh sarah
Starting point is 00:23:21 ireland salty snack food And Nate Knight Beer for three months So I hope you already started Nate So we got more On here We'll keep checking in with you guys To see how you guys are doing So make sure
Starting point is 00:23:35 I've only had one Heather you better have only had one I'll give you one bag of veggie straws You better not have gone crazy You know Derek Your kid He's at school he's just you know uh uh all right we have a guest this week uh we we are going in uh i'm at uh
Starting point is 00:24:00 where are we huntsville huntsville this weekend and then now we're going our way with last weekend we're going to Appleton Wisconsin so uh bringing my buddy from New York City uh who's been on the road with me these two weeks staying with me sleeping on his helix mattress you know who's gonna be happy about that Ian Renfrew when he finds out it's not Aaron and I coming to Appleton yeah uh Ian lucky for you it is this young man right here so i hope you like him uh gary beater oh yeah i used to call him gary vider v-i-d-e-r gary beater me and gary started together or i'm lmao i always say that and you're like all right you're not you're not we're not the same age all right even though we look like it uh because he shaves his head uh no but me and gary
Starting point is 00:24:46 uh i don't know we've been friends for i don't know 15 years or something like that yeah when did we meet maybe uh i'll put it at like 10 years no way i've been doing comedy 13 years no no maybe yeah maybe i've been doing it 18 years so 13 years when i first started you first started you were out the gate yeah yeah yeah i met you i met you. You first started. You were out the gate. Yeah. Yeah. I met you actually six months into doing comedy at a show I hosted. And I watched you, and I was a big fan. And then I asked, I was like, I wanted to learn more about,
Starting point is 00:25:18 it's like, how do you come up with jokes? I had no idea how to do comedy whatsoever. And you're like, come along. And then ever since, I've just been following you around. Yeah, been here since then. It's never got rid of him. Tried multiple times. I go, Gary, no.
Starting point is 00:25:30 Walk away. No, yeah. Well, Gary, everybody's best friends with Gary now. We're all, you know, like, it was like you just kind of get people in your group. And he was, Gary was very, very funny. And so I remember seeing gary and we're talking and then yeah we just run around the clubs and uh which is my always my it's good to have people run around it's good you're talking about comedy the whole time it's good i always think that's such a important thing to help you out and help me out and then you know you're just sitting there
Starting point is 00:26:01 you get a i don't know when you're explaining how to write comedy because you're like i don't know dude i don't know how to write comedy i mean i'm writing this act now and you're like it's i don't know how to come up with this stuff like there's not it's hard to find a like you can't just like a when you write new jokes it's not like there's a falsa that you're like you turn it on right you feel after every special you will never be able to write anything ever again and then even though i have new stuff now i'm still you're like i don't there's no i don't know how i came up with this stuff you're it's just happens yeah over the weekend we were just talking i mean talking back and forth about comedy and just like you know things that you know but it's good to like hear
Starting point is 00:26:39 again like just transitions of jokes how to get to one joke to the other just seamlessly and just hearing that again it's like all right yeah just focusing on little aspects of comedy by just talking about it, even though you know it, it's good to hear again. Yeah. Yeah, it's good. We talked a lot about this, about, you know, I'm a big transition. Like, so it's like stuff leading, making stuff lead into the next things you're going to talk about. And I cannot have it. And I can, that's the jokes that I have trouble with, the jokes that I have trouble when I don't lead into the joke very easily. Uh, you know, sometimes you can, sometimes you got to find a way to do it. Sometimes it's natural. And sometimes you got to somehow, you know, mess with it a little bit to, so I can get into it. So you don't
Starting point is 00:27:20 feel like you're just, you know, I'm talking about diet soda and then i you know now i'm like so then i was on i was swinging on a play set one day like you know it's just out of nowhere you would try to make those things you think sometimes a hard cut like that can be funny though if i don't want to use they're used sparingly but i don't i don't want i don't want to laugh for that i don't want to laugh because of that because that to me it feels like a trip so like yes, it is funny. And people have done that. And comics have done it. And so I don't think I should have to rely on a laugh for that reason.
Starting point is 00:27:52 Like, you know, I'm not saying I don't ever do anything. Like, you know, if a joke doesn't work, it's very easy to be like, well, that one was terrible. And that gets a laugh. And that's kind of looked at as a trick. I'm not saying I don't do that. Like, I would say that on stage. Because when you're up there, you're like, all bets are off, dude. This joke didn't work. There's stuff you do that's like, but I don't want to ever do anything that's going to, would translate to the final product.
Starting point is 00:28:18 So I would, if I did it, it's like, you don't want to rely on that. Because then I just think you rely on it, then that sticks in your act. Like you can tell when someone sometimes has something and they keep it in their act, and you can tell that that happened one time. And they act like, all right, someone in the back. I know y'all, someone back there just got mad at me for saying. You're like, well, no one got mad. But one one person did one time and you came up with a funny thing yeah so it's like either figure a way to not like act like it's you know like spontaneous yeah like
Starting point is 00:28:55 spontaneous when it wasn't well they would do the thing i mean comics do this all the time and i i hate it but it would be uh how's that for a transition you know like when it's that and that's their cut and that's what they keep in instead of just finding a way to piece it together. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you get a laugh off that easy kind of thing, and it's okay to get a laugh off that, but it's like the final product I think should be, you know, eventually going to a special,
Starting point is 00:29:21 so you should be able to get out of it, and I should able to find i remember doing one tonight show a transition i should be able to i remember trying to find our one tonight show uh i was like transitioning from one joke to and the guy was like i just don't see how those are jokes are going to go together i forget man i can't remember the joke uh but i remember just telling him i was like oh we're it'll be all right i'll figure it out and then you i had to did yeah without having it's like it's i don't know that's what's that's what comedy is it's like that like how do you make these two things go together how do i make them seem like they go together when they don't you know without being you know without saying you know yeah i think late night sets help that a ton because
Starting point is 00:30:06 they're they're five minutes of jokes that maybe you weren't putting in that order until that late night set and then you're just connecting the dots and you know you didn't even think that it could connect that way and then you know you've done a lot of them so you've you've experienced where yeah i'll find a way because yeah you could connect anything somehow by just somehow you just start thinking about it i think the hardest thing is just starting a set. I don't even know what to say to people. Even walking into a room, that's hard enough. But then walking in front of an audience,
Starting point is 00:30:34 just saying something that's interesting right off the top, I just feel they're looking at me like, oh, this guy's not good. This guy's going to be a mess. This is not my kind of guy. Yeah, no no that's always that's always very very hard i mean that's where i you know i started like all right it's like i always like all right here we go we're doing it like you do come up with you just figure out
Starting point is 00:30:54 whatever your kind of thing is that's you're just trying to get into the into the set but like this weekend the eagle story we've talked about eagles on here where that joke came it's about one joke that i brought over from not everything's from it has been good like i haven't had a ton of podcast stuff into that but i started talking about an eagle which we talked about on this and like that was a tough one to get into but i think i figured a way to do it because it was like it's an eagle like i don't you know what what do i have what story do i have that involves you know an eagle like how do you get into an eagle story it's like a weird or eagle joke but you just you've there's the there's always a way you can make an argument that if everything
Starting point is 00:31:37 transitions too easy you're probably not branching out enough different types of jokes yeah that's true like if it goes if it flows too much i mean you you like to everything to flow with like you know i go you know daughters you know and this special was uh you know like daughter stuff into my parents into the wife stuff and like it's like so all that's put into like so you're just making it all kind of go together and then it makes it i think it makes it easier for the audience to uh relax like it's you know it's it's just kind of they're like watching and you're just you know they could just kind of go with the flow and it doesn't feel like it's jumping around and all this kind of stuff and
Starting point is 00:32:20 you're just you know and it makes it harder for them to tell where the jokes are at like that you're trying to hide them you know our comedy all comedy is is uh just mixed in you know what's funny is i've had people too and it's just been a couple comments but like i know people are like you know they always say like sounds like this guy's in a bad marriage and i that stuff i hate more than anything like what do you you know you like and i actually might say this on stage it was your wife so it was yeah yeah i don't know is it l bargetti i don't know uh lb uh larabar anybody i don't know who this person was uh but they uh i i and i think i want to i do want to address it on stage like or maybe even the next special because i know some
Starting point is 00:33:04 people just will hear that's the next special. But that's always so frustrating to me to be like, what do you think? I mean, you guys here know Laura. You've seen Laura. We've talked to her. I have a wonderful family. I love her more than anything. I've been with her since I was 21.
Starting point is 00:33:19 But do you want me to go up and just talk about how it's going great? Yeah. Is that what you think? People want to see that. Yeah, like you think that's what people want? Like they're just going like, well, tell us. And you got to, I don't know when you tell a joke about your wife, you do have to, you don't want it to come in a hateful place.
Starting point is 00:33:37 And in this special, there's one thing that I said that I kind of wanted, I wish I would have. I was talking about us not fighting with our daughter and neither one of, we're only talking through Harper to each, through each other. And I did like, that was like a little kind of tag that's straight up just trying to be funny and trying to say stuff. And that was the only thing I kind of was like, I wish I would have probably taken that out just because that's the only thing that kind of seems very mean. Like I'm kind of, cause we're fighting and obviously in front of Harper, uh, where it's like, that's the only thing that kind of seems very mean. Like I'm kind of, because we're fighting obviously in front of Harper. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:07 Where it's like, that's not what's happening. And that's the only thing that I was kind of like, you know, I would have probably taken out just to be like, I don't need that. I don't want that to come off like that. You know, like we're just always fighting in front of her. But we don't. No, we're not always fighting. It would be impossible to fight.
Starting point is 00:34:30 If you look at the fights I've talked about we've been together for 20 years this is the i'm basically talking about all the fights so like what 12 of them 15 of them like they're but that's what's funny just when you need a new hour yeah yeah i get it i rile it up you start picking them i start coming yeah i go oh yeah, oh, yeah, the podcast. I go, what happened to the waters up there today? I just try to get something going. I go, mine was a little too warm. But, yeah, like people like that's, you know, it's like, you know, and that's not.
Starting point is 00:34:56 I always think that's a comment like that is like someone that's not, they don't know who I am and they don't, you know, it's like. They don't know comedy yet. They don't know comedy yet. But it's like, yeah. I used to say this sometimes on the podcast. They'd don't, you know, it's like. They don't know comedy yet. They don't know comedy yet. But it's like, yeah. I used to say this sometimes on the podcast. They'd be like, you guys are just too mean. You're like, comedy is mean.
Starting point is 00:35:11 I say that in the special. Like, the mean speech. It's like if it's out of context, it sounds like a mean speech. Comedy is mean. Everything's mean. There's not a joke on earth that's, right, that's nice. Is there one that's like, I mean, something's got to be either i'm dumb they're dumb you're dumb you're wrong i'm right like that's the only way you even otherwise there is no comedy doesn't exist it's just puns after
Starting point is 00:35:38 that yeah after that yeah that's pretty much it yeah it would have to be you know you ever see tree you have to make fun of like something that doesn't have and then people like you can't make fun of trees they get mad about that roasted trees oh you're seeing an oak tree the attitude of an oak tree you know you get out of here it's pine tree comes up and he's like i'm everywhere and you're like you're not everywhere you know he's more noticeable uh so uh anyway so yes so this week so me yeah me and Gary Gary's been on a ton of stuff
Starting point is 00:36:08 you can see he's on America's Got Talent yep finalist made it top 10 finalist yeah had a wild ride
Starting point is 00:36:15 wild ride it was a fun one Howard Stern talked about you yeah that was the that was the coolest part about it was he was there now he's not there
Starting point is 00:36:22 left the show after I was same season but you got that was the best one that you got at least with him on yeah he was the coolest one yeah out of anybody i mean you i mean obviously i mean i grew up listening to him and then he uh you know he looks at comedy like a comic yeah you know he didn't do stand-up but he he loves it yeah and he loves comedians appreciates a good written joke and that's what i was looking for so you know if he would have said something bad that would have just you know broken my heart yeah but yeah and that's and that's kind of thing is like i'm you know i'm sure you experienced it you meet
Starting point is 00:36:53 somebody and i never expected to meet him but uh the fact that just hoping that he would like me when i got to meet him was the best thing otherwise it just would have been yeah did you ever really talk to him or is it just kind of on stage? Yeah, a little bit backstage. But they kind of just usher the judges in and out, and they're in a bubble. That was before COVID. It's like they knew.
Starting point is 00:37:13 They knew. They did. Yeah, but if you saw him today, I think he'd remember you. Yeah, I think he would. Yeah, he liked comedy. Yeah. So I think at the end of the day it's like after doing that show getting his uh you know approval was the coolest part the other ones it's
Starting point is 00:37:30 like you know heidi klum was a person who would she would criticize my act after and it's like english isn't even your first language yeah so i could you're not getting my humor yeah it makes sense this isn't what you know you don't know this yeah did uh i wore high heels on my left yeah did so like the whole process if people don't know about like doing a show like that uh so you auditioned uh yeah for where'd you audition at new jersey performing arts center yeah and it was it's you and you know what uh i would say that day maybe like a thousand people but then they have it going on for like a week straight yeah so you're one of those people and you that i i was able to skip i sent in a tape and they were like you're gonna be able to go in front of the judges right off the bat so i was lucky enough to go there well you're someone with
Starting point is 00:38:21 town like you're with i already did conan you already did conan that yeah yes yes they want if that's what people like i don't i mean it wasn't like a blind like submission yes which is and people can uh get farther that way because they do have producers look at your tapes and at least on that show so but in this case i sent it to a producer that reached out to me because i guess they saw my conan and then from there i was able to just jump the initial process which i think the initial process is you go into a room and then you just if i was if you're a comic you just do your set in front of like one person in front of a tape which is obviously super hard and not hearing laughs for anybody involved anybody picking the talent it's almost impossible yeah to you would you probably
Starting point is 00:39:05 not done it then right yeah i wouldn't have done that yeah it's i mean it was like they asked you it's a waste at that point yeah to me it's like a waste of time so then i did the the show at the new jersey performing arts center and you're in front of the four judges and this was that it was it was a bad setup because it was at like 2 p.m on like a monday and they had in new jersey performing arts and i think it seats like 3 000 and this probably had maybe like 250 people in there and you know it got laughs and you know i guess they had the audience mic so it sounded well but when you're up on stage it's like you're not hearing you know a crazy amount of laughter but the judges gave me you know all check marks and then I was able to move on to, to the next level, which was just, uh, it was like
Starting point is 00:39:49 four rounds of stuff, like, or five rounds of stuff until you get to the finals. And, uh, the next round was like a, uh, like only, I think like four people make it. And I was able to go from there. And then from there, the live shows, which are at Radio City. Yeah. And that was like on TV. Like what's the first time you get on TV at the the first audition? Yeah the first audition yeah the first audition so you and that
Starting point is 00:40:09 one's a big one because a lot of people tune in and they could see you know they put a whole like montage together of you and then you know all the different like crazy acts that they have and yeah it's a good way to like gain fans and get people on your side and hope for hope that you're going to advance from there. Yeah. So I did that and then yeah went uh from there did there's another audition that was in long island or not an audition but uh another taping in long island that that went on air but that wasn't live and then the next ones were all live to tape at radio city which and that's the craziest you know experience of just a live shot that's on nbc 8 p.m and it's and you're at Radio City Musical and I'm already in front of 6,000 people which is the most amount of people I've performed
Starting point is 00:40:50 in front of but on top of that it's live so I mean you're it's just like an outer body experience of like you rehearse your set non-stop and uh it's only you know it's like two and a half minutes that you're doing but you're you're hoping you don't flub anything. Yeah, it's crazy. The amount of pressure is wild. Yeah, and nobody thought I would get that. I remember I was telling my wife, I'm doing the audition. She's like, oh, good.
Starting point is 00:41:18 She didn't even know I was still doing comedy. Oh, you're going out? Okay, yeah, that's cool. Then I'm like, oh like oh i advanced she's like you know like that like and then from there it's just i'm doing a live show and then advance from the quarterfinals to the semifinals and this the craziest part was and you know this is uh because you're at my wedding in my wedding party the from the semifinals i it was my wedding was in between the semifinals and the finals yeah And I didn't tell them at all that I was getting married because they follow you around with
Starting point is 00:41:47 cameras and everything. So I was like, I'm a, I live with a roommate. I didn't even tell him I had a wife and it just happened to fall in between my wedding. And I had to tell them that I needed time off from like doing all like their random shoots during the day. Cause they always put like together, like a whole package right before your your performance and i had to tell them that i i couldn't do any of that stuff until like like uh you know the day before the finals because i was getting married and they were like you thought you have like a roommate yeah we didn't even know you were straight well
Starting point is 00:42:18 it's gotten pretty serious between me and that roommate yeah so we didn't hear they thought you were gay and you gotta you're like whoa this is okay wow that's a lot to take in there's a curveball yeah yeah that was your backstory you could finally get out of this yeah one little tiny apartment with your roommate exactly yeah so yeah we uh you know i did that and you know i think they were they were so pissed i didn't tell them i'm like yeah i'm sorry like my wife just wanted to have a normal wedding without you know they would have wanted cameras there i mean i probably would have won america's got talent now that i'm thinking about it i mean yeah you would have told us no today when we asked you to come here like no life would be much much different if you yeah gave that i mean well so many people go in there just focused on that
Starting point is 00:43:03 backstory yeah like that they like that's a way that an angle that people do is i got this crazy Well, so many people go in there just focused on that backstory. Yeah. Like that's a way that an angle that people do is I got this crazy backstory. I'm going to really let them know that I have all this kind of crazy stuff, but you didn't do that. Yeah. I tried giving myself cancer and everything. You did everything else. You're like, my dad's a firefighter.
Starting point is 00:43:22 And they're like, oh, man, he died on 9-11. You're like, no, it was July 5th. It was like 1984. You're like, oh, was that just a normal're like now july 5th it was like 1984 you're like oh was that just a normal and you go yeah yeah he was old like it's not even from they really get into it you're like it was like yeah but yeah it was uh that was just crazy to that whole experience and i remember i mean i so the semi-finals to the final the finals will end up being two days after uh my wedding but the semifinals it came down to like i was a final selection where it was right before the show was about to end like the last minute of the show and it's either between me and this like uh like
Starting point is 00:43:56 illusionist group or whatever yeah and and they have like the spotlights and they they they vote in it's like it's so close we're gonna have to go to you know a audience vote online and i'm like oh my god because it's like such a letdown if you don't get it and then you're a loser at your own wedding yeah and uh i wound up getting it got to the finals which was my goal the whole time my whole goal was to get to the finals yeah and uh you know hopefully you know change my career somewhat and then uh you know it was able to do it and you know, change my career somewhat. And then, you know, I was able to do it. And, you know, the wedding was great. And then I lost in the final.
Starting point is 00:44:29 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You told them you got married? Yeah. Yeah, Louis would have still given that speech. The speech that Louis J. Gomez gave at Gary's wedding. Yeah, I had it on video. It was. I have it on video.
Starting point is 00:44:40 Yeah, we had a videographer. So I'm going to get that speech so we could play it somewhere. Yeah. Well, you got to play it on podcast as a whole. You guys are going to buy it. Option the rights. Well, no. It was like such a-
Starting point is 00:44:53 Was he George Costanza cursing at the- Oh, yeah. I think it was like cursing. It was a very comic, pro-comic speech. Yeah. I mean, there's probably- It was probably 20 comics at the wedding. It was like a decent-sized wedding. Maybe like 150 150 170 people or whatever about two yeah yeah i didn't i thought
Starting point is 00:45:12 i was gonna sell out but it didn't work out that way and it was uh yeah it was a but lewis made the speech and it had nothing to do with like you know marriage or anything it was just directly toward you know to me and to the comics and then that you know that was it but uh yeah yeah why did he even give a speech was he your he was my you know best man he was the best yeah we were friends at the time yeah yeah you haven't talked to him since yeah i haven't seen uh lewis was your best man that's right yeah i was in the cream yeah you so soda shaggy yeahoder. Me, Soder. Shaq. Shaq, yeah. Dave Smith. Yeah. I remember coming to New York to visit you like 10 years ago, and you were, I felt like fairly new,
Starting point is 00:45:53 but you were doing shows at Eastville that weekend, and Soder was there, and we all hung out. You were so funny, and I felt like you were very new, but you were already just killing, I thought. And then I come back right after you finished America's Got Talent. Now the younger comics are following you around, and you're kind of the vet going from spot to spot thanks yeah I mean I definitely do a ton of spots I mean in New York now there's not a lot going on but yeah it's nice that uh you know it's weird when you hear somebody be like oh I you know hear you on a podcast I like watch your material and when you're like wow yeah I've been doing it 13 years but yeah I remember meeting you
Starting point is 00:46:23 and everything you know it's cool and I remember you know nate talking about yeah so it's it's so weird when i you you know you look at like a a comedian tree kind of like i was thinking of this it was just like all your friends it's like everybody's from all over like funny comes from all over but then somehow we like we're able to like mesh together and where you're in high school you're like it always felt like i was like yeah i mean there are other funny people but nobody who wanted to pursue comedy and then when you get into the comedy world you see all these people doing comedy you're like oh i found you know my like group and it's it's such a you know interesting thing it's like the coaching like a coaching tree yeah it's everybody always has like i'm you're you're more like i always examine new york guy like my closest friends and
Starting point is 00:47:06 people that i was with coming up the most was new york so it's like the new york guys so like those were the the guys you and soda and list and norman jay metzger you know a million of them like it's like the bill parcells coaching tree everything yeah everything kind of comes to theirs like and then you come from patrice, Burr, David Tell. You're seeing all that. Yeah, it's like you come from that side versus L.A. There's a lot of Rogan. Or Dane Cook was a big one out there, even though he's from Boston.
Starting point is 00:47:39 Americans Like Talent, did they ever say that you just got married? No, they never said it. Yeah. It wasn't part. Yeah, they didn't. I mean, after that, they were like. They would have been like, we would have filmed that wedding. Yeah, they loved it yeah they would have loved that to do that but yeah you know my wife she was so happy that you know to have that i was able to have that success on the show but at the same time she like you know like
Starting point is 00:47:58 she thinks about that when she wants that wedding to be special yeah you know and and having people so many people were like coming up and like so happy that i was on the show and i never wanted about that wedding she wants that wedding to be special yeah you know and and having people so many people were like coming up and like so happy that i was on the show and i never wanted to feel like she was getting like anything taken away yeah i mean i wore a white dress as well yeah but besides that she's cool with it uh so uh this week uh what we wanted to talk about is uh What we wanted to talk about is a con artist. Yep. Con artist.
Starting point is 00:48:31 And kind of what made us think of this, and some people might know this story. You did a thing in Sports Illustrated. Yep. Ironically enough, but you have some con stories. Some good con stories. Some good con stories. Yeah, totally. I mean, my con stories all involve sports.
Starting point is 00:48:49 And then the article on Sports Illustrated that I wrote, it was back when it was all surrounded around the last dance when Michael Jordan came out. I think we all, yeah, because we all, yeah. And once you hear all the story about it, I think we were all calling you and texting you being like, dude, this is the time. Yeah, it was wild. So yeah, I released these pictures that I had where there were all these pictures where my mom took uh had these pictures in a box so i never shared them with anybody until uh the last dance came and i just made it i first made an instagram post and then i sent them into sports illustrated for kids once once they found
Starting point is 00:49:19 out about the story but between the years of uh starting in like 92, like 93, like that, like NBA, NHL season, my dad and I started going to Madison Square Garden and we'd go. And this was his idea initially because I was a subscriber to Sports Illustrated for Kids. He would say that I was a writer for Sports Illustrated for Kids and he was my photographer. He wouldn't even go as my father. And my dad was a con man in everyday life, but this was just like, to him, you know, just a fun con that he could do with his son. I love sports. He loved lying.
Starting point is 00:49:55 We'd go. I mean, that was his thing. Like, that was, you know, we love comedy. He loves lying. He's like, do you care about the game? He's like, I care about getting in the game. That's what I love. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:50:06 And so he would do everything that he was supposed to. He would reach out to whoever was head of PR at the Garden, let them know that a reporter and a photographer for Sports Illustrated for kids was going to head to the game. And when we would get to the Garden, we'd be there for shoot around or for shoot around or you know for for the rangers or for the knicks and we'd have press passes waiting for us already i would either be sitting in the press box my dad or like find a seat that would be like you know by
Starting point is 00:50:37 the the glass or by on like very close to the court my dad would always be taking pictures on the court he would never even be sitting together all you know every obviously we didn't have a ticket so everything would be free he had to have a camera like a real camera he had a real camera he looked professionally at a vest and everything had like you know pockets for where we keep extra film and my dad actually took good pictures so it was kind of like he was living a life where like he was able to be an actual photographer something that i'm sure he always wanted to be but without actually having to like you know go to photography school or you know have any being you know getting a job or applying for a job at sports yeah so he would take these pictures he would do everything that you know he was supposed to
Starting point is 00:51:19 take pictures of security guards and stuff and then when we go back to the garden he'd show them the pictures so he started becoming friends and he had, he had this way about him that, you know, people were always very trusting in him. And so nobody ever doubted our story of us saying that we were sports associated for, for kids because one, he's with a kid, he has pictures. So he had a lot of like backup info that made it look so legit. And after games, we would just go into locker rooms. I'd meet players. I'd take pictures with them and i get autographs they would give you credentials you saw you had to show up with credentials yeah didn't have to show up with credentials and this is in the 90s so there's
Starting point is 00:51:53 no way of of actually checking if we're yeah with sports illustrator for kids i mean yeah they could make a phone call but my dad always said that people don't want to go through that work even i mean if somebody was like oh i don't think you could do it now 100 my dad would said that people don't want to go through that work. Even, I mean, if somebody was like, oh, I don't think you could do it now. 100%. My dad would be able to do it now. There's no way. And I'm not talking about like fake email address. It's just that certain people, you know, people don't do their jobs.
Starting point is 00:52:15 They don't do their due diligence on, on, on looking up like, oh, I think this guy's lying. My dad just talks a good game and he's able. Yeah. Very confident. And obviously that's a huge part of it. And so he was able to bypass people to have them even think that this was a scam. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:32 And the main story that I talked about in Sports Illustrated was I was at Jordan's double nickel game. Very hard ticket to get. We didn't have tickets. We went to the game. I sat fourth row. My dad sat on the court the entire game. I was basically with Bill Murray, Tom Brokaw, and Phil Donahue. That was my section, my boys.
Starting point is 00:52:52 Yeah, yeah. What's up, fellas? It's Tom Brokaw. Yeah. It's a picture of Gary and Tom Brokaw. Yeah. Brokaw. And you and-
Starting point is 00:53:01 Ryan Sawyer, yeah. And then, yeah. Phil Donahue. That's Maury Povich. I don't know. Phil donahue is in there though right yeah yeah there's phil donahue yeah yeah so like my this was the kind of stuff that would happen at the games where my dad would make them like basically like mug me yeah yeah that's like he was very like a comfortable hug right yeah that was a yeah that's a lot yeah i still talk to my therapist about that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:28 But yeah, we would go to the game. And my dad just made them feel comfortable. I was like- I like you took pictures with everybody that would do an interview with you about the story of them taking the picture. Like, you know. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:39 Well, I was like this almost like, I think they looked at me as almost like, oh, it's like a kind of like little journalist prodigy. A feature. Over here. And you know that this is all fake at the even a hundred hundred percent you know like my dad just making this but it was you know like we so we would go to these games and everything and i'll definitely get into the story about the double nickel game which is where i met them but um the like we were doing this and just regular like you know everything that my dad could scam he would you know obviously you know people sneak into movie theaters but my dad he could afford us going to a movie theater but
Starting point is 00:54:08 to him it's like let's just sneak in you know and it's simple that way he would always a quick talker so he'd make friends with people you know like the guy at the pizzeria my dad owned a phone business so he could fix phone lines and i'm sure he tapped phone lines too and everything like that but he would he would do phone lines if somebody had a phone tapped phone lines too and everything like that but he would he would do phone lines if somebody had a phone trouble at a pizza place and we'd go to those pizza places and just eat for free and my dad I'm sure it still charged them but he was just this friendly guy like oh can my son get a slice of pizza and you know he worked there so at you know you know for a little while so we'd always get free slices of pizza at a local pizza place
Starting point is 00:54:43 and you know just different ways that he would cut corners and um and and he'd always get free slices of pizza at a local pizza place and, you know, just different ways that he would cut corners. And he'd always, that was kind of the life that he lived. Yeah. And so as far as the Jordan double nickel game goes, we were there. And Jordan, by the way, some people don't know exactly. This is Jordan's comeback. Is he number 45? 45.
Starting point is 00:55:02 This is his fifth game back at the Garden. Yeah, from his retirement. So he retired. He came back. He's wearing number 45? 45. This is his fifth game back at the Garden. Yeah, from his retirement. So he retired. He came back. He's wearing number 45. I mean, this is one of the more iconic. I mean, most everybody's going to know what this is. But some people are younger, and they don't remember Jordan.
Starting point is 00:55:17 And this was a very iconic game in the Garden. He's always done very well in the Garden. And this was kind of his, ended up being kind of his I'm back game. Yeah. And what's crazy about the Garden back in the heyday was celebrities would be there nonstop. They would go to the Knicks games. They had Patrick Ewing, John Starks, Charles Oakley. So the Knicks were very, very good. And the Knicks playing the Bulls was an incredible rivalry.
Starting point is 00:55:38 So this was an extremely hard ticket to get. And this is in 1995. And out of all the years that we've been doing, we've been doing probably about like two and a half, three years at this point doing the scam. We never ran into anybody from Sports Illustrated for Kids, but at this game, the actual Sports Illustrated for Kids was there. And Sports Illustrated for Kids back then, they didn't have a kids reporter. So it was two adults. It was an adult writer and an adult photographer. You were making them more legit.
Starting point is 00:56:03 I made them more legit and it's more believable. Yeah. You know, so we were there and we were at shoot around and my dad found out that the actual sports illustrated for kids were there and it didn't stop my dad. He actually made us go up to them and we got like their business cards and everything. He didn't lead on that. That's what we were posing as. He just found, you know, just had us meet, got their cards. I guess just, he always loved getting information. So getting information like, oh, this is who this is in case I see them again. But we then, you know, sat where I sat in my fourth row seat. My dad sat on the floor. When, by the time the game ended, we just kind of bum rushed to security so we could
Starting point is 00:56:40 get into the locker room before they could get in. Because everybody wanted to go in and interview Michael Jordan after he just scored 55 points. And there was a huge line. They were behind us. We get in. And I'm like walking through the locker room. And before I know it, I'm getting pulled into a private room that I guess my dad talked to a security guard. Found out that Michael Jordan was in a private room with just him and phil jackson and a couple other assistant coaches and we go into this room and i sit down and i asked michael
Starting point is 00:57:10 jordan uh i had three questions that i wanted to ask him and i only remembered asking him like what's your favorite food because i was just so nervous you know meeting michael jordan and we took a picture and i was too scared to ask for an autograph. Biggest mistake of my life. And it's probably why my dad doesn't talk to me anymore. And I had Fia LaZanne. Michael Jordan was like, you know, you got to go get some Nikes. If I was now, I would have just been like, why don't you just give me some? And then we –
Starting point is 00:57:37 What was his favorite food? His steak. Steak, okay. And just like Nate. That's the only question I've ever asked Nate, too. And I go out in the hallway and meet Scotty Pippen. I had a picture with Phil Jackson, too. And then after, yeah, there's Phil.
Starting point is 00:57:54 There's Phil Jackson, Scotty. And after that, you know, I'm super happy. Got to meet him. Got that great picture with Michael Jordan. We're walking out. And the actual Sports Illustrated for Kids, they were still trying to get in yeah so we're you know we he's his story my dad's you know con was so good and he's such a good talker that even with actual credentials you know people weren't able to get in yeah and he was able to you know put us through and it all
Starting point is 00:58:21 came down to you know him talking a good game him being able to you know show legitimacy and the pictures that we were able to have over the years and uh people knowing us at the garden like people knew us there yeah and never doubted us did your dad ever get caught doing anything no i mean like i mean he had things you know happen mean, just little things that it was never, he would definitely be in court a lot, but he never, he never got, never got caught. He always found ways where say, if you were suing my dad, he would counter sue. And it just would, he, he knew the court system too. He would delay things where a lot of times people, you know, being in court costs a lot of money for people. So my dad, not that he, you know, had a ton of money, but he knew how to delay things and how to
Starting point is 00:59:09 put things off. And when a lawyer's being put off, he's still charging that client for, if a lawyer calls you on the phone, he's charging you when he's talking to you. So all that, knowing that he's able to get out of a lot of jams that he's been in. he's able to get out of a lot of jams that he's, that he's been in. And, you know, he would, my dad would do slip and falls and he'd do, you know, he, you know, fender benders, where he's wearing neck brace for a while. So this was just a common thing. And it was kind of like, I was also, you know, part, you know, part of that I'd be, be in the car and, you know, he'd say, you know, you act like your neck hurts too, you know, just different things that, that he would do
Starting point is 00:59:43 to, you know, get him, you know, I guess like through the year. So just, you know just different things that that he would do to you know get him you know i guess like through the year so just you know money wise as a kid did you love it like or is it like in the moment or would you get tired of it or you eventually i got tired of it but it's because i'm fun because sometimes you can't tell your friends that you could tell them you know now you're on a podcast and you're a comedian yeah you're enjoying your friends never knew you met Jordan? They knew it because I would show them pictures, but I couldn't tell them how I met Jordan. It would always come down to my dad knew somebody at the garden, something like that.
Starting point is 01:00:13 So that was our end to show people what we did. But I could never be like, if I had any pictures that were, some of the pictures I have press credentials on, those are pictures I wouldn't show anybody. Right. Yeah. What's the one biggest key to being a good con man? Talking.
Starting point is 01:00:33 Well, yeah, but I mean, it's your backstory. You have to kind of think what they would possibly ask. Yeah. Definitely not get too crazy on details, but think of the scam that we did. It was, I'm a kid, my dad's a photographer. It's so simple. Once you start putting so many different layers on a scam, that's how you're going to get caught, I think.
Starting point is 01:00:54 So kind of making it definitely as simple as possible. Having a kid there is enormous. Absolutely. That's enormous because no one's really going to tell a kid no. Yeah, and I think that works for a lot of scams. That works for a lot of scams if you have your kid there. And then having a lot of answers. Like you said, him getting the business cards of those guys
Starting point is 01:01:13 that y'all are pretending to be is pretty smart because he knows if someone goes, who are you here with? He's like, oh, I'm with Johnny and Jim. They're over there. Go ask, talk to them about it. Because he knows you're not going to go talk to them about it. It's too crazy. And I know you're not going to, and I'm going to look at your face and say,
Starting point is 01:01:29 and no one wants to be like, I think you're lying to me. Like that's very uncomfortable to do. Yeah. My dad, you know, something he would probably do would be, you know, he had to have those cards and be like, yeah, I'm sorry. My boss though is he's in at the game over here too. So you want to talk to him? Here you go.
Starting point is 01:01:44 But people didn't doubt it whatsoever. Yeah, there would be like some holdups of us possibly getting into a locker room. But we never had a problem getting into a locker room. And I was telling you, I mean, I guess you're a hockey guy now a little bit because of Nashville, the Predators. But I was at the Rangers game one, game five, and game seven, Stanley Cup, no tickets. Game seven, I sat glass. I went into the locker room for, uh, uh, for the Canucks after seeing them lose. And they were just like heartbroken.
Starting point is 01:02:12 And then after that, my dad takes me into the locker room for the Rangers where they're celebrating and drinking from the cup. Craziest experience. Probably. I don't think any reporter did that. You went into both locker rooms. I went into both locker rooms. So you went into the, you know, the losing locker room and this is a game seven and ranger and the rangers won the stanley cup after not
Starting point is 01:02:27 winning it for 54 years yeah so the garden is the most insane thing I go in the locker room I got so many autographs so many pictures and everything and from there I went to the rangers after party and I'm only 11 years old and the way I got in was crazy because we go to the door for the party. It's in the garden, it's upstairs and we can't get in right away because our press credentials don't allow us access. And so it's like, come on. I was so used to getting in everywhere. I'm like, this is where it ends. And my dad always easy, you could always find a way to get us in. This guy walks by and this is when people had rolls of film and he, he goes, I don't have any film. And he saw my dad with his camera and he goes, Hey, like any chance I could have a roll of film. My dad goes, yeah, you could have a roll of film. If you could get my son into this party. And I just walked in with this strange guy to the Ranger Stanley cup party. And I just went up. I had up i had this uh this hat i wanted to get it signed by the four all-stars of the rangers that year it was brian leach mark messier adam graves and
Starting point is 01:03:31 mike richter and i just went up to them in the party they're all sitting there with their their wives and girlfriends and getting all the autographs and it's probably at this point like two in the morning and my dad he wound he wound up getting into, I don't know, probably went through the vent or something. But he, yeah, he got in and then we were there. And I just remember driving home and I'm, you know, 11 years old. It's probably six in the morning at this point. And we lived in Long Island. So it's about an hour back and we drove home.
Starting point is 01:03:59 And it's just like, you know, I'm the happiest kid in the world. And, you know, it's an experience. I'm going to school the next day. I can't share with a single person, you know, outside of like, yeah, I'm the happiest kid in the world. It's an experience. I'm going to school the next day. I can't share with a single person outside of like, yeah, I was out the game. And you're going to school, you're on basically no sleep. Yep. And just go to school and just be like, yeah. And then the kids at school are like, did you watch the game last night?
Starting point is 01:04:17 And you're like, I mean, I was there. Yeah. It presented me with a different life in a way where i was able to meet people who really accomplished stuff that almost seemed unreachable yeah like these athletes meeting michael jordan meeting the rangers and being at witnessing these things kind of show me it's like you know if you not only if you not forget about lying but if you work hard you could get there so it like kind of it allowed me to rub elbows with them which was definitely probably the best lesson out of all of it and also of course i mean obviously i know how to lie if i wanted to yeah yeah yeah you can't It kind of allowed me to rub elbows with him, which was definitely probably the best lesson out of all of it.
Starting point is 01:04:45 And also, of course, I mean, obviously, I know how to lie if I wanted to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can lie if you need to. Yeah, that's unbelievable. And so he would send you in, too. So it wasn't like he was doing all this for you. It was, like you said, he almost liked the idea that he got you in more than even him being in that room. Yeah, I think he liked
Starting point is 01:05:05 accomplishing the lie being accomplished was like a nice check mark for him he's like i did it again i did it again yeah i'm successful yeah where did you meet mario lemieux oh mario lemieux so there was a celebrity golf tournament called the cga they don't think they do it anymore but it was uh in long island and mario lemieux and all the celebrities that's where i also met john elway too but um they were they were staying at this marriott hotel in long island and mario lemieux was the number one hockey player i always wanted to meet and my dad calls up finds out you know where they're staying and they're staying at this marriott calls up says that he's their show that he's mario lemieux chauffeur i don't know how he got, you know, Maryland Mu's room numbers,
Starting point is 01:05:45 probably he was using an alias or whatever and found out what time Maryland Mu, by posting on the chauffeur, find out what time Maryland Mu was going to come downstairs for his, to take him to the golf tournament. And once he knew that, he then followed that up with a call as sports illustrator for kids, that he then followed that up with a call as sports illustrator for kids asking if he could do like a 15 minute interview before his uh chauffeur arrives and he knew the time now so it was like
Starting point is 01:06:12 oh can you meet me at like 7 45 when you know we're meeting at 8 a.m and mario lemieux said no problem my dad reserved this private hall in this marriott hotel, just big banquet hall. It was just me and Mario Lemieux and my dad videotaping me interview Mario Lemieux. And, you know, I don't, I can't even tell you, I don't even remember what I was asking him, but that videotape still exists probably in my dad's house still. And then I, after the interview, I had Mario Lemieux sign a couple autographs and my dad's like, why don't you walk Mario lemieux out to his uh his car and so we took this like long walk and he was just talking hockey with me and telling me you know work hard and all that you know yeah all that you're playing hockey at this time yeah i was a big hockey guy i loved
Starting point is 01:06:55 hockey yeah and then uh yeah we was you know meeting your idol i'm like just another one i mean he he him to me was also like a michael jordan so i i love hockey so much just being around mary lemieux was cool and and getting to take that walk which was just surreal yeah wow look at that picture with elway look at elway's hands compared to oh yeah he crushed so yeah elway crushed my hands with it and so i met a lot of people where you know you're like oh it's nice i'm gonna shake this guy's hand and el Elway almost broke my hand. I remember thinking that. Were you ever nervous when doing this? I wasn't nervous.
Starting point is 01:07:29 I was nervous more meeting them than not getting caught whatsoever. Getting caught was not a thing. Y'all never got caught? Never got caught. Yeah. The only thing I got nervous was meeting them. I definitely had kind of an idea like, oh, maybe we're not going to be able to get in. You never know.
Starting point is 01:07:48 But every time, it wasn't a problem. So why'd y'all stop? I became 38. It was like by the time I was 14, I didn't want to keep on lying. It becomes a little bit draining. And my dad, again, he was doing this in all aspects of his life so you know business he uh owned this payphone company and one of his things that he did was he would pose that he worked for at&t he's big on posing you know so he posted he posted my dad poses as the most successful human being that's ever lived
Starting point is 01:08:21 exactly so he posed as a worker for AT&T, and his thing was he would put in pay phones in different businesses, and they thought they were getting from AT&T. My dad had a business line that had the same ring chime as AT&T. Like everything was AT&T. And eventually he got caught up where AT&T found out about this. This is the craziest story. But to me, this blows away the Sports Illustrated.
Starting point is 01:08:48 They found out that he was, and this has been fact-checked by a cousin, but they found out that my dad was posing for AT&T. They sent him a whole bunch of cease and desist letters. My dad just kept on ignoring it. Eventually, the feds came to my house to investigate and check and take check all my dad's like paperwork and they started when this is when i was about uh i say 12 years old
Starting point is 01:09:13 they started taking a whole bunch of boxes outside of my house i was home at the time my dad told me to come downstairs in my pajamas and he gave me um one of my dad's hats that that said like at&t on it and he goes just say like why are you taking my dad's stuff so like we had like a thing that we would do where he would rely on me to like kind of be a little bit of like a like a backbone and in you know giving these people some like oh maybe we shouldn't be doing this he has like a kid and his kids here anyway he wound up calling my cousin saying like i'm in like some deep crap here like i don't want to i don't i might be going to jail like they like that's a big thing like at&t is a fortune 500 company he's been posing as them for over five years he has a whole bunch
Starting point is 01:09:56 of different accounts the money that he made by doing that by having his pay phones that say at&t on them they they all think these companies think that they were hiring AT&T and fast forward like six months my cousin wound up following up with my dad hey whatever happened with the AT&T and like the whole like the whole thing and he goes my dad goes oddly enough the place where they're hiding they're hiding like and having all the evidence, that room got broken into and is now gone. And so, and my cousin has said this, he goes, Yeah, exactly. And I, my cousin goes, I wouldn't put it past your dad. I don't know a hundred percent if this is true,
Starting point is 01:10:37 but I wouldn't put it past your dad that he got into that evidence room somehow, whether somebody he knows or he how was able to break your way out and was able to get that stuff out of there on top of that my dad countersued 18 and one and one yeah i was that i had to give a deposition saying that they lost autographs so my dad god knows how much money he made off of that yeah because he said that some of that stuff were were priceless memorabilia. And we have all these photos. So this money, I never saw.
Starting point is 01:11:11 Again, I don't talk to my dad right now. Maybe I'll start in case I need some cash. But he did that. And I went to a deposition. And I was able to fake cry. So I was able to put on a show. Yeah. So, you know, that's the kind of kid that he raised and we got away with it.
Starting point is 01:11:31 And, you know, it's, it's all part of, you know, I wonder if that's what makes you not say on America's Got Talent, you're getting married. Like you're not like you're, you, you look at, even though that's the truth and it's happening during this moment, you may have this story about your dad that you could have probably said on America's Got Talent and they would have loved. And then also that you're getting married.
Starting point is 01:11:53 And so then you don't say, obviously you don't talk about your dad. You don't even talk about your dad in your act. That Sports Illustrated thing was like, we're the ones that all knew that story. And we're like always telling you like, why you need to say this story? And you don't really ever say it much. It you're scared to say it right but it's you just i don't know it's like you just i don't know why i don't say it i mean part of i think it's so out there of of a story of like figuring yeah figuring it out like a movie like yeah about like it's yeah that would be the goal i mean that's what i would want to see is that um
Starting point is 01:12:22 Yeah, that would be the goal. I mean, that's what I would want to see is that, you know, to show that. Because my dad was, you know, is a unique guy. He's still around. And, you know, he's always up to something. So I haven't talked to him in over 20 years. So, I mean, God knows what he's doing. And he goes, well, Gary, we got a surprise for you.
Starting point is 01:12:47 Come on in. Here he is. He's right here he is he's right here breakfast hello son hello i think it's interesting that your act on stage is so low energy and so low key yeah you have no act outs but yet you can cry on key you could be the best actor comedian ever yeah i could i could turn it on in terms of lying for sure but i just i you know something it's weird because it's like, it's almost like I did that so much in my life where I was living that, where almost like now it's like time to live in a different way. Well, you're always someone good on the road with, because you're always like, if there's anything that we want to do,
Starting point is 01:13:20 like it's like, hey, do we need to like check out? Like Gary's like, oh yeah, I'll do it. Like he'll go talk to anybody and ask anybody anything yeah anything that is like hey you know you know stuff that you i don't know like you don't want to ask but you're like i wonder if they'll let us do this yeah yeah i could find a way for them to make it do it gary yeah he's always been like that for like it's just like yeah just gary will it. Like, you don't care about asking anybody anything. Absolutely not. And the other thing I'm good at is if somebody tries to scam me or like, not just me, like, you know, my wife or something, I'm like, that's bull. Like, that's not, they're not being truthful. Or, I mean, when you're talking to somebody and they're telling you a story, it's like, I'm just like this.
Starting point is 01:14:03 I mean, you're making up so many details. Like, I could, you story, it's like, I'm just like this guy. I mean, you're making up so many details. Like I could, you know, it's just, I've been around the best. So I was trained by the best. I mean, to get him to sue AT&T and win. Yeah, it's wild. I mean, that's unbelievable, dude. Like that's unbelievable. I mean, our thing was, I mean, when we were in Des Moines,
Starting point is 01:14:21 we did that theater and then this woman came up and she goes, by any chance, are you the son of Manny Veeder to me? When we were in the meet and greet line. I was trying to meet you. After he opens for me, I make him. He goes, I'd love to talk to you. I go, well, there's a line, Gary. And you're welcome to wait in that line. And then we can have a conversation afterwards.
Starting point is 01:14:43 So I'm with way before yeah i'm i'm just saying nate has a line and then i think i just stand behind nate waiting for a lot hopefully the line is going to form by me yeah but no whoever trickles off a nate line sometimes they want to say you know they want to say hi to you and uh this woman comes up to me and she goes by any chance are you the son of manny veder and i go why have you heard from him quite some time and she goes well um uh actually we were just in uh normandy together where's normandy by the way france yeah nice notre dame right there oh yeah that's yeah that's good these are most educated yeah that's where you took a lot of classes so she was in normandy with him because
Starting point is 01:15:27 my dad was taking uh he took i guess they world war ii vets to normandy to like fly over and like see it after not being there for whatever like 75 years i don't know if that's factual yeah but around that time so world war ii they landed in normandy and it was a big thing yeah it was a pretty big deal normally some stuff happened there so some people have more interest in it than others but go ahead yeah so uh her she's i guess part of this organization and my dad is now part of this organization i mean my guess is it's some you know shady stuff going on there something and also involves a camera so he's still kind of like sticking with you know the i guess part of a camera camera spiel and he uh was taking
Starting point is 01:16:11 pictures for all these like you know where he lives he actually i know he still has our old house our old house which is in uh long island it's uh yeah he lives there and as far as as much as i know and maybe you know he knowing probably has, like, another house or two somewhere. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's so... And he's never, so he's never gone to jail. Never, you know, hasn't done time. I mean, it's all kind of past the time now.
Starting point is 01:16:34 He couldn't really go, right? I mean, like, is the statues of limitations? Is that what it is? Like, he can't after, I don't know. Is that the way statues... That's what that is, yeah, yeah. Eventually, you can't prosecute a statute statute statute not statues not a statue yeah there's a limitation you're like oh what's this is a beautiful statue what is that it's
Starting point is 01:16:54 of limitations whoa yeah yeah it's salmon not salmon yeah but uh i think you know i mean obviously there are other con artists out there but my dad never got caught you know he was able to put me in scams you know did it his whole life and i think part of what made his scam so good was he kept it small enough where he wasn't he didn't get caught it's almost like if you keep it small enough it's not a bit and if you did get caught you're it's it's too small of a case for say like a you know a district attorney to make a career off of it so eventually if you keep pushing the court system which is something my dad did he would he would be able to delay the courts till another district
Starting point is 01:17:36 attorney because there's always turnover in those offices that they wouldn't want to prosecute because it's not big enough like he had a furniture company and he would one of his scams, I mean this is in the 80s and it's not much of a scam but this is the simple things that he would do. He just wouldn't send certain people their furniture. He would take 100% of the money and then tell them that yeah your furniture was delivered and back in the 80s
Starting point is 01:17:58 you would have to go through so much for if somebody told you that they sent you their furniture and you're like no you didn't like how do you even get to the bottom of that yeah you could file a complaint with the better bureau invest uh was it better business bureau yeah that's it and that's about that going through that headache you would need so many other people to complain too until you actually even saw a result yeah and that's the kind of thing that he would do. It's kind of like knowing how difficult it would be to get him caught. If you're able to confidently say, I don't know, man, we delivered
Starting point is 01:18:30 it. And then somebody's like, can I get my money back? No, because how do I know that you're running a scam? It's almost like, I imagine, I think what he was good at is he would turn it on you because you'd be like, how do I know you're not scamming me and you had this furniture? He's like, why would I do that? You're like, I don't know. Well, why would I do the other thing? And it makes you, you know, and AT&T is like, why would I sue AT&T? They're the biggest company in the world. Yep. If I did something wrong, I'd have a lot of nerve to be able to sue.
Starting point is 01:18:58 They could end my life. They have billions of dollars. Yeah. And everybody's like, everybody's still a person. That's what I always think with everything. Bill Burr had the great joke about that with like, everybody's like a person. That's what I always think with everything. Bill Burr had the great joke about that, with like, everybody's like a guy. But it's, everybody's a person.
Starting point is 01:19:12 Even if it's a judge, if it's this, it's that, it's still just a regular person. And so why would they not believe what he's telling you? Totally. And he was really good at knowing, hey, I need to make more money. How do I get from this point to that point with making more money well and you know in that case it was not sending them their furniture like obviously as simple as that is just saying like yeah it did so what are you talking about yeah and that's
Starting point is 01:19:35 and then what you're just like okay like you hang up the phone like and then that guy's like honey i have no idea what to do now he said that they sent it and did they send it you know like they probably have to go through like golf, you know, whatever, whoever sent it. I mean, trying to figure that stuff out. Back then you got to call, you're on hold, and you're, you know. And then the furniture store was like, no, we did send. Like you made the furniture.
Starting point is 01:19:56 You're not. Yeah, internet, you know. Even now it's not fun. That wouldn't be fun to do. Yeah, it'd be tough. Yeah, it's a hassle. It's a hassle. Did you ever hear when that story came out,
Starting point is 01:20:06 from the real Sports Illustrated kid? Did he ever reach out to you and say, you ruined my life? No. Well, because they weren't doing, they didn't have an actual kid doing it. But the kid that was still trying to get in when you left, that was a real kid, right? No, no, no. It was two adults.
Starting point is 01:20:22 Ah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was two adults. Okay. Yeah, i got you yeah but yeah my you know but that taught me you know knowing how to get from point a to point b it's like there's always a solution to find like i would steal exams i stole a midterm and a final in college exam i went into it was very simple it's just like kind of learning things and this
Starting point is 01:20:41 is what my dad taught me it's like this is how our brain worked and kind of how he trained my brain. But there was exams, an exam at 10 a.m. and an exam at like 4 p.m. in this big lecture hall. And one thing they would do is they would alphabeticalize all the exams and put them out. And my class was at 4 p.m. So I would go into the 10 a.m. class, My class was at 4 p.m., so I would go into the 10 a.m. class, take a random test right off the desk, and then I would have about six hours to have somebody complete it. And then I'd go into the 4 p.m. with all the answers already. And they would just think that, oh, we just screwed up. We didn't put this person's test out there. And I was able to – I two tests and at the university at buffalo midterm were they good uh you get good grades yeah i mean eventually i i wound up
Starting point is 01:21:31 switching majors and everything but yeah i got good grades yeah i knew the answers yeah you knew that oh oh so you filled your own test out just knowing but i mean i had somebody else because i couldn't i didn't know what i was doing yeah yeah it was like what if you steal it from a guy that's also like no dude i stole that one and then y'all are just both like dumb guys like but you know it wasn't there in high school i stole tests too i mean cheating off of exams a lot of you know i'll give you one that was even great i was in um i went to a private school i went to three different high schools but i mean a lot of problems yeah yeah in my family but one of the schools i went to was a private school and this teacher uh his name was dean sharpeteer he's an english teacher was giving me bad grades like
Starting point is 01:22:10 throughout uh class and granted i'm not the best english i probably used some words that yeah that didn't even make sense today as a welcome home yeah no feels good feels good but i went to like extra help and everything and and my grades never improved and never got above a C and we're going into the fourth quarter. And I'm like, this guy is giving better grades to girls than he is guys. And I had this whole like petition and I was able to get something like 125 kids signed it. And I went to his boss, the Dean of students, uh, Dean of faculty to, uh, be like, Hey, all these kids signed it.
Starting point is 01:22:45 This guy's obviously grading people unfair. And that guy goes, you know, it's like, I'll look into it. And next thing I know, that teacher comes to my dorm room, because you lived on campus. It was a private prep school. And he comes to my dorm room and tells me how sad he is that I did that, kind of like confronted me about it. We have one final test left i just plagiarize the crap out of it because i know i just put this guy through hell he can't now say yeah to me that i that i'm i'm the one who's plagiarizing i just made a whole big thing he can't complain to anybody he'll get me kicked out yeah i wound
Starting point is 01:23:22 up getting like you know an a plus on not only that but for the for the quarter it's like i called his bluff he wrote on the exam are you sure these are your own words yeah i gave me an a plus yeah because i had him in a in a corner and that's what kind of you know stuff my dad taught me it's gonna be like a usual suspect we're gonna find out you're actually your father like it's all like all the stuff that you've done you're like are you sure you weren't the one? How old are you really? Yeah. I mean,
Starting point is 01:23:46 I sold drugs in college too. I mean, it's just like things I got away with because I knew like, I don't, I, you know, I mean, I had hair in college,
Starting point is 01:23:55 thank God, but it was, I wasn't suspected, suspected of doing that stuff. I'm a small guy, you know, innocent and, you know,
Starting point is 01:24:02 in a way looking. So I was able to get away with things. And, uh, I left college with like 25 grand and and paid for everything my parent like my mom she didn't have to pay like any money yeah for for a bunch of stuff that's crazy aaron was given plasma in college yeah yeah like what are you going to class like a loser like a regular loser still a test what's funny is like the experience of that is there's an argument to made like what you learned in college is like some people would already like that's a real life experience of you know you know it's so crazy like when you're dead like so if you if you got i would think even though like my fear of if i got in trouble as a kid was
Starting point is 01:24:39 my parents they would be very disappointed in me which i think everybody's kind of fear was but you that fear is gone when your dad's going to be actually proud of you and be like if you went to him and got caught he'd be like well how'd you get caught and it would you would probably just have a conversation with him about what you did wrong absolutely get caught which is a pretty big thing to like if you're a kid and you don't have the fear of your parents being mad at you that you can go do a lot of stuff because you're not really nervous about it. Especially, yeah, especially when they help you in that. What was your mom thinking through all this?
Starting point is 01:25:11 I mean, she was married to a guy. She was, you know, she was already dealing with her own stuff. Yeah. But, you know, he was lying. He'd be gone for, you know, two, three weeks at a time, you know, at points when we were all living together. And so, you know, she was kind of like, I mean, they're divorced now, but she definitely wanted to get out of that marriage
Starting point is 01:25:30 and she was just dealing with her own stuff. And she was a stay-at-home mom, so she kind of had to live by everything that he was doing. And I'm sure she definitely has regrets in terms of like, oh, she should have stepped in, but she was kind of a pigeonhole to being a you know living that life because she didn't have a job and he was the provider yeah and i mean he's coming home with maybe no money to thirty thousand dollars like you don't know like it's like it's it's all up and down yeah and if he does it's like she has
Starting point is 01:26:00 to be on board with whatever you know whatever car whatever. Carmelo Soprano. Yeah. And, you know, speaking about like, you know, being able to get away with stuff because my dad was that guy. Yeah. Like, you know, if I had a project due in school and I didn't do it, I'd tell my dad and he'd pick me up early. So I'd have, you know, more time to do it. It wasn't anything like, hey, you know, you didn't do it. Now you have to, you know, deal with the consequences. He taught me like you could get out of stuff. And, you know, it was. it now you have to you know deal with the consequences he taught me like you could get out of stuff and yeah you know it was like working the system well it's that
Starting point is 01:26:29 means a different form of education to be honest like you know in a really it's just being like you don't have to do all this stuff so let's do another let's figure out another way you know i mean you know in a way there could be someone listening this podcast like wish i had that kind of bond with my dad like yeah yeah absolutely yeah well you know, in a way there could be someone listening to this podcast. You're like, wish I had that kind of bond with my dad. Like, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Well, you know, Bates said, he's like, you know, what made you stop doing the sports illustrated thing? But, you know, part of the reason, you know, why you eventually stop is you're like, yeah,
Starting point is 01:26:54 I just don't want to live that way. I need to get over this and see if, if my dad put that much energy into something else, he would have succeeded. Yeah. It's like, that's a smart person. Yeah. So that's what, if that, that was probably the biggest lesson where you're like, oh, if I wanted to do, you know, you know, it was comedy, you know?
Starting point is 01:27:14 So I'm like, if I put as much work as my dad did into those scams, if I do that into comedy, I could get, you know, you know, to a decent place in comedy, the place where I could have a career and not have a, you know, a regular job. That's what I wanted. Yeah. And you're there. You almost had inside park home run off a walk just due to confidence. Just confidence.
Starting point is 01:27:33 Yeah. That was blind confidence. I don't know I have that confidence, but confidence is everything. If you're confident, you can get there. Like, I mean, I say it in the joke, you can get away with whatever you want because, you know, no one knows to question it no one knows you can't believe something's happening to you that's almost like where you're dead like if you think you're like well they're gonna know you're scamming them they can't they would never believe that they
Starting point is 01:27:57 could be scammed so if you're confidently scamming them they're like well you're not doing it to me dude i know i can't be scammed well that's probably the easiest person to scam is someone that thinks that yeah i mean a lot of people don't think that people lie you know that most people are trustworthy so it's uh yeah i mean they think that people lie but it's not like a major lie they don't think that they're gonna face it that day if you're getting caught off guard yeah is basically what happened yeah you know i mean the only time people know that they're getting scammed you get a cold you know a cold call from a number and that's not even necessarily a scam it's hey can i you know uh talk to you for a minute and you don't know the number you're like all right this that seems like a scam i'm not gonna talk to you you hang up the phone so that's when you're on guard so if you get
Starting point is 01:28:41 somebody out of their element you know in a you a, you know, not just asking for money, you could figure out a way to get something out of them. It's much harder in person, too. And your dad seems to be doing this in person. And so it's like on the phone is like easy to hang up. But a lot of stuff your dad was doing was he's looking you in the eyes. Yeah. And these people are at their job. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:28:59 So what are they going to, you know, what are they going to say? It's like it's much harder to say no to a guy that's staring at you. Yeah. And they also, yeah, if you say no, they would probably think like, oh, there could be consequences with this. Like if I say no and he is this person, then I'm dealing with that now. Yeah. I just want to give it to David WR99, the guy from Rogan. How do you think about this one, buddy?
Starting point is 01:29:23 Is this not enough for you? There's some meat on the bone this time. I mean, it's crazy that I didn't know. We knew about your dad with that, but I don't think I've really talked to you about all the other stuff. The big backstories, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you definitely need to write a movie.
Starting point is 01:29:37 I mean, it's crazy. It's all this stuff. I didn't even know until I did research on this that con man, con is just short for confidence man because that's... Oh, wow. Are you lying? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:29:50 That's real? I didn't know that. He's not being confident even that's... I didn't know that. Yeah. I thought you were being sarcastic.
Starting point is 01:29:57 Oh, really? No, I have no idea. Yeah, that's short for confidence man. All right. Yeah, what are some famous con? Most of these
Starting point is 01:30:03 are just financial. But the good thing about yours is no one really got hurt. There were no victims. Yeah, just my family. Yeah, what are some famous con men? Most of these are just financial. But the good thing about yours is no one really got hurt. There were no victims. Yeah, just my family. Hasn't talked to his dad in 20 years. Divorced, you know, but yeah. But no, his kid doesn't have a grandparent. I know.
Starting point is 01:30:16 Go ahead, Brian. They were fun. It was a fun time. I doubt Michael Jordan feels too bad about it. Most famous con man, Charles Ponzi. I mean, with a name like that. Yeah, he started it all. Ponzi scheme.
Starting point is 01:30:30 Ponzi scheme. Still foul today. It's a big thing. Yeah. Ponzi scheme is just the classic one. It's like the rule of three for comedy almost. Yeah. It's a Ponzi scheme.
Starting point is 01:30:40 Yeah. So I didn't know the difference between a Ponzi scheme and a pyramid scheme. And they're very similar, but pyramid scheme, you just got to get the people below you to start getting more investors. And Ponzi scheme, you got to get all the investors. Ponzi, do you probably feel better because you're going after richer people? Not necessarily. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:30:58 Maybe. Bernie Madoff, he was the one that- He was Ponzi scheme. Yeah. So everybody's giving him money. And then he's, if someone wants to leave with money, he gives them that other guy's money. He gets newer investors' money and gives it to those people.
Starting point is 01:31:11 Yeah. Stuff like that. Yeah. Bernie Madoff showed huge returns on what he was doing, which is always suspicious when you're investing money. So if you're getting crazy returns, how is this the guy that's that knows the market better than anybody and these you know really uh wealthy people thought that he was you know legit because he knew had other wealthy people doing it and that's what it is it's kind of like who you know
Starting point is 01:31:37 so in his case it was my dad showing pictures that we were at the garden before to you know different security guards them being acquainted with you know different billionaires it all made sense it's just the story added up and that's kind of i feel like how he was able to get away with it and didn't tell a soul didn't even tell his own kids yeah yeah bernie madoff which was the way to do it was true conman yep like just yeah keeping it that tight of a secret that's what happened with his with his kids was that's why i got so bad because no one could believe that they didn't know and they weren't in on it. And you're like, no, I mean, they weren't.
Starting point is 01:32:09 That's how he got as long as he did. How did they even catch him? His kid questioned him about it late, and one of his kids exposed him to it from what I believe. Bernie? Yeah. Yeah, I think once the financial crisis 2008 happened it just uh everybody wanted their money everybody wanted their money and he couldn't
Starting point is 01:32:31 do it yeah he wasn't getting new investors at that time and he just ran out of money and so everybody found out about it um frank agnell jr that's a popular one catch me if you can great movie pilot a lawyer a doctor faked his way through all that stuff don't get your dad yeah and the way he was i mean he did it back in the i guess i was like 50s 60s and he did it as a kid so kids are believable so yeah you know in a way and and i mean i know it as dicaprio so i don't know what he looked like as a kid. But gorgeous, man. You look like you. You were a young, strapping young man.
Starting point is 01:33:09 Did everybody believe you? Yeah, you could get away with stuff. So him being 19 or whatever when he started, and I read about Frank Abagnale. And part of the reason why, and this is what's crazy about my dad, and it goes along with Bernie Madoff too is you don't think about the consequences and a kid who's doing scams you don't think about the consequences think about how much daring we were more as kids
Starting point is 01:33:33 and the kind of life that we were leading because you don't care about things happening and I think the great con man also besides being confident is like you don't care about what you don't even think about it. You're just like, I'm just going to do it. I'm going to do it.
Starting point is 01:33:47 I'm going to get away with it. And that's it. And that's why he was able to, I think, you know, pull off being the lawyer, the doctor, and all that stuff. Were you trying to, like, you know, you looking, being a kid, versus if you came up to me now, I'd be like, this guy's a con man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now I got a shaved head.
Starting point is 01:34:04 Now, I mean, honestly, I don't know if I believe even anything that you've said today. You're like, do they even have a phone number? What do y'all think the highest level of profession you could masquerade as is? Like as a conman? I think you have trouble selling that. You think you could like show up in court one day and be a lawyer and pull it off, you think?
Starting point is 01:34:28 No. So I think comedians are, I think we're good talkers. And I do think like we, and especially the longer you do this, you talk a lot. I mean, I don't need a lawyer. Obviously, I would probably, you know, it's one of the big words you probably get me. I think I could talk my way. If I'm back against the wall, I have to do it. I could talk, you know, I could maybe make up some, you know,
Starting point is 01:34:57 I don't know what I would really. I mean, here's the thing. You need to have knowledge on that stuff. Yeah. So if you don't have the knowledge where you could actually, you have to know what you're talking about to be that lie. So I think it would be like finance, getting people to invest. And you don't really have to act much.
Starting point is 01:35:13 Like, hey, I know how to do E-Trade. And if you could put a bunch of money into an account, throw a few dollars in, and then get people to keep on investing, I think that's the easiest thing. Even small people. It doesn get people to keep on investing. I think that's like the easiest thing. Even small people. It doesn't have to be millionaires. It could be people who make, you know, whatever, you know, $50,000 a year.
Starting point is 01:35:30 Yeah. It's the, yeah. Like, so it's not like I could be like, I think I could be a police officer or something like that. It's, but I think I have the tools to talk. And so like, if you give me the time to go like, yeah, to be very convincing, I think I can be very convincing. I think I could, if I really believed it, I think i could convince you cnbc cnbc i feel like i'm
Starting point is 01:35:50 missing a letter is that all of them no let's say they called you tomorrow and they're like we're going to bring you on the program as a financial expert and you have like a day to to get that character together you think you could pull it off convincingly? If I knew enough about it, if I had the desire, what I've learned is if I don't have a desire to do something, I kind of don't do it. And I won't go all in on it. But if I had the desire to do it, could I go on and do it? I can be a talker.
Starting point is 01:36:17 I've learned to, being in New York for a long time, I learned how to like, I can talk enough to, with an audience. I can talk to stay on top of you. The audience is, you know, when you're, when you're on stage and the audience feels like you're, you might lose them a little bit and you start talking a little bit more to try to keep their attention more focused on you because you're like, you can feel they're starting to get drunk and like wander. And you'll be like, I remember that you kind of stay on them.
Starting point is 01:36:41 Yeah. I mean, that's something you know how to do. And I think if you do something like that, all it is is the whole conversation is that. The whole conversation is I'm not trying to let you ask me something. I'm not trying to let you get a word in. Because if you get a word in, then you could shoot through my whole thing. Yeah. So if I just kind of keep going, no, that's why we did that.
Starting point is 01:37:00 It's like you're investing. I promise. Like, dude, this guy, I've never met a guy like this. I never like, can you believe this guy? Like, I was lucky to even get to meet him, you know?'s like you're investing i promise like this dude this guy i've never met a guy like this i've never like can you believe this guy like i was lucky to even get to meet him you know yeah i know a guy invest you want to invest with like you're like this guy's the greatest dude ever dude like they're they're you know you start saying these kind of weird things like you said like stuff that they can't question well i mean i'll say this i mean even though i i feel like i could be a manager an agent, you know, in comedy.
Starting point is 01:37:25 I mean, it's the easiest. I mean, to me, not every, you know, not every manager or agent is bad, but definitely at certain levels when you're first starting, you're not, you know, I wasn't meeting the best ones. So these people, you're just taking somebody's word for it. So it's like, they're able to kind of be like, oh, I could get you stuff and do, you know, do things for you. All these are, yeah, you're hoping that they're telling the truth but a lot of times they didn't you know come to
Starting point is 01:37:48 fruition probably because of my abilities but you know more so than anything but yeah they you know they kind of talk the big game and that's that's something that uh i guess you know maybe they think they could but you know you're you're kind of at their they're like uh i don't know what's the word but either way you're you're kind of at their at their mercy that I don't know what's the word, but either way, you're kind of at their, at their mercy. That's the word. That's the word. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:38:08 That's how he brings you into the scam is he lets you go mercy and now you're a part of it. You're like, he goes, that's a word, good word.
Starting point is 01:38:14 That's funny. A lot of people do that on here. Yeah. Yeah. That like, do that like, yeah, kind of pull you into it.
Starting point is 01:38:19 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I knew comics that were, I think were going to be better agents or managers or producers than they would be. We talked about Soul Joe a lot on this.
Starting point is 01:38:29 Soul Joe was so good at running shows and setting these shows up and getting these shows going. And he's now created into, I mean, he's not a scam. He's doing legit shows. Right. But someone that's like, they get better at that kind of aspect to it where they just know how to like they know they understand the business side uh i don't know if he did comedy uh and maybe at the beginning i don't know if he did but like he was so good at creating shows and like producing and like you know and just knowing how to like do this i mean he did it all the right way i mean you know yeah
Starting point is 01:39:02 guys are some guys are just better at that aspect of it than they are this aspect yeah and it comes down just to like selling but yeah as far as the selling yeah the managers and the uh agents say you're hoping that they're telling you the truth and i i think that would probably be something that i would be able to do and you know but but hopefully bring it you know the best thing is be honest and be good at what you're doing of course but uh yeah if i wanted to be the easiest thing to do is scam comics when you really think about it they're trusting you and everything and getting anybody chasing a dream would be very easy absolutely anybody chasing a dream anybody who has hope because comics also were so bad with money that you trust somebody
Starting point is 01:39:41 like oh yeah i'll get you this deal and you realize realize, you know, you could realize, you know, five years later that they've been screwing you over. Big thing that was a story with Gary Shandling, Brad Gray was not only taking a manager fee, but he was an executive producer fee on, I think it was the Gary Shandling show. So it was like double dipping. You're not supposed to do that.
Starting point is 01:40:00 If you're, so like any of the shows that I've done or my managers were going to be producers on the show, that means I don't have to pay them a commission. So that's the deal. They get to be producers. I don't pay them a commission. Versus he's being a manager, and so he's taking 10% to 20% extra, and he did that whole show, yeah.
Starting point is 01:40:21 Yeah, and that's not a crazy scam. However, you put somebody in charge of your money, and they see, like, I could just do that, and then there you go. It's as simple as that. Well, he's making, you know, it's not like he was poor. No. He's making enough money. You're like, but he should be making more.
Starting point is 01:40:37 Yeah, and they were friends. But it's like he knows that, you know, in these cases, like people who aren't paying attention to their money, that I could take advantage of this person. We used to do shows. that you know in these cases like people who aren't paying attention to their money that i could take advantage of this person so we used to do shows i remember uh when you first started with charles hallen or i think it was charlie no i don't want i don't want to throw these names in like these are the bad charles hallen is like a good thing now but like it was it was like these get these emails it was like a a bad version of of the good ones now.
Starting point is 01:41:07 But they would do stuff where you would get a check. You'd go do a show, say $200, and you would do a show at a club. And then the guy would be like, all right, they're going to give you a check for $500. Send me the $300, and you keep the $200. And so then you would have to go send the guy that booked it. And on top of that, he was, which is already crazy to be, you're like, why don't you take the money before like why do i get it and then i gotta send you this money but then they were also getting the deposit before that so like a lot of guys got caught you know that guy kind of i'm sure there's still bad guys out there but overall back then a lot of them got
Starting point is 01:41:39 flushed out because they were doing that kind of stuff like in comics we just do it because you were working you didn't know you're like like, all right, I got $100. I got to send him this. And he would give you a lot of work. If you kept sending those checks, you'd be like, well, I'm working a lot. So you're not going to really want to mess it up because you think, I can't lose this. Yeah, they're like, Nate, you didn't even perform last weekend.
Starting point is 01:41:57 Like, just take it. Just take it. Do you remember Danny Almonte? Yep, Little League. Yeah. I mean, he was pretending. I mean, his dad has got him to do it, but he pretended to be two years younger than he really was. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:42:10 I remember that. Yeah. It was a big deal. Little League World Series. Little League World Series. They're from the Bronx. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:42:14 Throwing heat. Throwing heat. So 76 miles an hour, which from the pitcher's amount in Little League, that'd be equivalent to 102 miles per hour. So he was throwing heat. And threw a perfect game, Little League World Series. hour so he was throwing heat and through a perfect game little league world series he claimed he was 12 then people started investigating found out he was actually 14 and they had to forge all their games they won it all now they'd finished third crazy
Starting point is 01:42:36 they don't win you do that not win is what's great because you can't pitch every game right that was a problem yeah but uh and he wasn't the only team there was another back in i mean i used to follow little league world series all the time there's a team from taiwan that sports those are for kids you had to i know long island uh long beach uh they won back-to-back years and they played i think it was taiwan and taiwan had players that were like 13 or 14 but um don't check this fact yeah just trying to make conversation no you're way wrong but they uh yeah long beach beat them and uh no the long beach uh lost to them but they got like murdered and uh taiwan it turned out that they had like players that weren't even eligible yeah yeah here's another fun james hoag he this is what you may
Starting point is 01:43:23 have done if comedy hadn't worked out yeah he went to the university of texas but quickly dropped out then he went to a community college dropped out now he's 25 years old so he stole the identity of a deceased child and enrolled as a student at palo alto high school under a different name he was 25 you pretend to be a 16 year old orphan from Nevada he started running cross country and was dominating and he got so far ahead field he won the race but he never would report the official score table which aroused suspicion and they started doing investigation sports reporter got to him the mystery boy they finally figured out that he was fake so then he just left left town, got out of town. So then he enrolled at Princeton University, told him he was a self-taught orphan from Utah who grew up in the
Starting point is 01:44:13 outdoors of the Grand Canyon raising sheep and reading philosophy books. And he got in at Princeton. They gave him financial aid to help him out. They were so excited to have him. And he got into all the big Ivy League clubs clubs there he's also on the track team and then finally a student from that high school palo alto high school recognized him on campus and called the same reporter who did the first story and the guy exposed him again wow and then he got when was this this was in the early 90s he just could i wonder that guy's up to now what's his name uh james hoag uh you could you could get away with so like internet just ruined a lot yeah because the internet you know uh the the i mean you google someone's name so yeah i like how you say it ruined it god you just
Starting point is 01:45:01 cannot get away with anything you can't get you and in, you can't. The scam artists, I mean, now there's like way more scam artists, but it's like a business now. It's like, you know, you're, it's, it's,
Starting point is 01:45:10 it's, I feel like now it's quantity over, what is it? No, quantity over quality. Yeah. It's like,
Starting point is 01:45:17 we're going to, we're going to just send 4,000 emails out. If eight of them work out, then we've made money. And then who cares? We just do that. Versus back then, your scam artist, there was art.
Starting point is 01:45:29 I mean, artists, there's art to it. I mean, that's what they're trying to come up with. Yeah, it's kind of interesting, man. Here's this guy in Senegal who wanted to play professional soccer, so he got his buddy to call the owner of the Southampton team. Where's Southampton? Do you know that? No, I don't.
Starting point is 01:45:48 Anyway, his buddy called him and said that he was one of the greatest soccer players ever. And I wish you would sign my cousin to play on the team. And they fell for it. And the guy joined the team. He played one game. They said he could barely even run. And they cut him. They realized it was a scam.
Starting point is 01:46:08 Wow. barely even run and they they cut him they realized it was a scam wow um you guys have you seen the movie um i love you philip morris no no jim carrey played this guy stephen j russell he pretended like he was a millionaire from virginia and tried to get a 75 000 loan in the bank in dallas but they figured out something was up so they arrested him but then he faked a heart attack When he And so they took him To the hospital And then once he got there
Starting point is 01:46:29 They were Guarded him But he Pretended like he was An FBI agent And called the hospital For his cell phone In the hospital room
Starting point is 01:46:36 And said He's good to go He can be released And they let him go Wow They catch him again Or Yeah
Starting point is 01:46:43 They catch him again Faking a heart attack is awesome Yeah It's old school You ever see the King of Queens episode Where he goes to a dinner party at his wife's work And he can't remember somebody's name So he fakes a heart attack
Starting point is 01:46:58 Just to get out of it It's so extreme This guy Richard Minsky Would cold call women And he would whisper So low that they couldn't hear him and then finally they'd be like Tommy is that you and he's like And then he'd be like now he's got a name
Starting point is 01:47:14 And then he would put someone else on the line Also him and say I'm Tommy's lawyer He was just involved in a hit and run accident And this guy he's going to be sentenced to Two years in prison but the victim says If you show up at this hotel with either money or sex, you choose, that he'll let you off the hook. And then this guy would go and do it. Wow, man. Yeah, I mean, like, that's got to be when you get that call, like, to be like, those are your options.
Starting point is 01:47:40 And you're like, you think the government's involved in this? Yeah. You know, I guess so. I mean, that's, you know, it's tough. There was a case here in Nashville. I mean, I had a friend that just did this. They just went, this just happened to my friend. That one you want to do to other,
Starting point is 01:47:55 you want to do it to other people in that group. Yeah. So they could be like, I feel like this is a scam. You're like, it just happened to Debra. Yeah. She had to go.'s no it's real you trust me you got to do one of those things it's it's very real your choice there was a case here in nashville a guy they called him fantasy man and he would just call women out of the phone
Starting point is 01:48:16 book the good old days we had phone books and he would pretend like he was her boyfriend and then he would say let's do this fantasy meet me at this hotel and wear a blindfold and he was hooking up with chicks because they thought it was their his boyfriend and then eventually got caught and got charged with i guess rape yeah but his argument was they left the door open it was consensual i mean his argument was these women knew i wasn't who they were we should hook up yeah. They just wanted to do it. I mean, just to call. You always think, who could these people be that would?
Starting point is 01:48:50 But I mean, I always say, like, I don't know. You get caught on the right day or you're not. Paying attention. You're not paying attention. You're not aware of what's going on. I mean, that seems insane to actually go there and get that far. But there has to be something where they want to do it in a way. Well, the biggest scams now, it's like you get – forget the emails,
Starting point is 01:49:12 the calls that you could get from somebody. And a lot of times they're going after the elderly. You just won $100,000, but the only way you could get that $100,000 is if you send like a $500 deposit so I could release the funds. So that's how they'll get the money where they think they're going to be getting that $100,000 after they send like a $500. So they're asking for money. You should never obviously send money because you won money.
Starting point is 01:49:35 That would make no sense. But people are so thrown off by hearing that they won. If you get the right person, they're going to be sending you that money. And they obviously don't have it. So yeah, you're able to get away with that yeah there's i mean there's a lot of people that are not you know quick like there's not there's a lot of people that are not like you know they're i don't know they're not online yeah they're not watching all these movies and seeing all these you know i feel like culture as far as movies and stuff makes you end up getting be more aware of like scams.
Starting point is 01:50:05 I mean, listen to this podcast here and you talk about your dad. Like someone could then be like, no, I've listened to someone talk about someone being a scammer. That's in their mind. And then there's other people that are like, I don't know. I don't talk to really anybody. I go to the store. I come home. I watch my this.
Starting point is 01:50:18 I watch that. And then they get a phone call. It seems so crazy. How are you calling me? Yeah, my mom's the opposite. She watches so much local news and there's always some scam on there she thinks everything's a scam even if it's not so if we're like at a restaurant she won't pay with a credit card she's like i'm not letting them leave with my credit card i'll pay in cash that's a scam yeah yeah my mom thinks everything's a scam yeah she's the opposite way to be though yeah uh david hampton convinced
Starting point is 01:50:45 new yorkers that he was the son of sydney apotnia and got a lot of benefits getting clubs and stuff like that uh will smith played him in the movie six degrees of separation that's what that's about yeah i had no idea i can make a movie then yeah if that's the story well that's not what six degrees of separation means oh six degrees means we're all with yeah yeah yeah but i mean he played a scam artist yeah oh that's what i mean i didn't know he was a about a scam artist yep yep uh it's a woman in here just to be you know yeah this is a very recent one in fact it hasn't even gone to trial yet elizabeth holmes she dropped out of stanford and she started a company called Theranos. And she claimed she had a machine that could test your blood on the spot and determine any type of illness you had.
Starting point is 01:51:32 And it was going to change the medical world. And they were calling her the new Steve Jobs. They thought she was the new darling star, but it was all fake. She faked test results, all this stuff to do it. And she finally got convicted. She was worth $4.5 billion. Now she's worth zero. Billion?
Starting point is 01:51:52 Billion. Wow. That's how big. Because everybody wanted to invest in this company. They thought this is the new big Silicon Valley thing. I feel like you think you start that with her and you're just kind of like hoping that, you know, it's like kind of goofy and then it becomes real yeah you can't stop well and that's even to show you that everybody wants to fall for
Starting point is 01:52:10 that i mean there's this girl she's 37 she's a pretty girl and if she's fortune named her one of the world's most disappointing leaders that's just so funny that they have that list yeah they made that yeah just well you want to be like it's not a leader she made up a company yeah like you know to be like this one of leaders i mean i would think it'd be like they they actually had an idea yeah that seems like it's made up out of nothing i mean i think her company was real but it was based on this fake product that you know that didn't didn't go anywhere she's married now and her trial was just delayed because she's due to,
Starting point is 01:52:46 she's pregnant. She's due in July. So they just pushed her trial. That was planned. Yeah. It's a good scam. Yeah, keep having kids. Yep. She has 50 kids.
Starting point is 01:52:54 Never been able to get a trial. Jordan Belfort, we probably know that. Wolf of Wall Street. We know that. This guy, back in the day, people would fall for anything.
Starting point is 01:53:04 Victor Lustig had a box a money box and he'd show people put a hundred dollars in and then it would spit out two one hundred dollar bill he said the box just can make money and it was counterfeit of course one of them was real but then the second one that would come out back would and people bought it for ten thousand dollars this box that just makes money yeah that's all i want when was that uh this was in the 1920s wow he sold the eiffel tower to a scrapyard company he told them that he was with the government and that the eiffel tower is just not feasible now financially so if you want this scrap metal i'll sell it to you He sold it twice Two different companies That's unbelievable I mean that
Starting point is 01:53:47 It was Yeah I mean That's At that time You'd be like Wow dude We're going to buy the Eiffel Tower
Starting point is 01:53:54 Yeah there's just no way Of checking anything A different guy sold The Brooklyn Bridge And told people You can set up toll booths here Now that you own it And make a killing off of it
Starting point is 01:54:03 Yeah Is that the Ain't there a saying About selling the bridge or something or i thought there was like a saying and i wonder if it came from that you've seen these services where you can like buy a star yeah that's how i feel that's why is that allowed i don't know i own five of them so it's the real deal do you know what i'm talking about you can name it yeah it Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just like, yeah, I'll call it that. But is anybody else going to call it that? Well, maybe it's like, well, I mean, how do you even own it?
Starting point is 01:54:30 But it's maybe in the registry, like they're saying, like, I bought you that star. That's your star. And it's, yeah, it's definitely made up. But you would hope that, like, maybe that star is, like, that one's already taken. Yeah, I don't know. How much are they? I mean, they. Interesting.
Starting point is 01:54:50 I'll look it up. But, yeah, yeah like it could be who's selling these stars anybody asking you for money has to raise like some suspicion just in general i think that's the best way to go about it yes what do you need this for yeah if they're telling you that they could help you it's like you got to think like what's in it for them yeah and i think that's like the best way to figure out if they're scamming you or not like every every deal should always benefit both people yeah yeah there was a guy who convinced a worker at the louvre to steal the mona lisa this is back when he put it under his coat and walked out with it and then he never contacted that guy again he just sold six fake mona lisas and people believed it because they knew it was missing so his whole scam was i don't even want the real thing yeah that just brings heat to me just you steal it for me and then i'll sell these six fake ones and people believe it's real and then they got it back i was like gone forever
Starting point is 01:55:34 right no they finally found it the guy who stole it from them they found it off on him but the guy who talked him into doing it they never found that that guy. And that guy was, that's what's crazy is that guy's the real deal. He's like, yeah, you don't be the one that walks out with the thing. They're never going to look for me. Smart. Yeah. By the way, it's $20 to $100 to name a star, which I guess makes sense. We have a lot of them, like billions.
Starting point is 01:56:04 But it is like, so who's name a star live.com i mean like who's who has the rights to this i mean who's like what if this company goes under then you're like now the stars are all look is naming a star legit uh you can't like buy one through nasa the answer is yes and no names of astroma objects are agreed upon by the international Astronomical Union, whatever that is. Most stars, especially dim ones, are only given coordinates and a designation in a catalog. Dim ones.
Starting point is 01:56:33 There are millions and millions of stars out there with a long string of numbers and letters for a name. I mean, it's like, it's basically, it's like yes and no. It's like, no, it is legit, but it's just, a guy came up with that. He's like, I'm the reason you named and no it's like no it is legit but it's just a guy came up with that he's like I'm the reason you named stars and you're like
Starting point is 01:56:48 none of that matters yeah it just doesn't mean it's 20 you're paying 20 bucks to just have a nice moment to have a nice moment
Starting point is 01:56:57 with a person is what you're is what you're getting that's our star that's our star and then I named it after because I mean you know
Starting point is 01:57:04 I ran up to him yeah in a hurry in six years and i go don't worry stories right now they're gonna be like oh i don't even i don't think i have one then they'd be like no wait we did buy a star where is that star and then they would look like it doesn't mean anything well i don't know if this is a scam but i i do feel it is and i heard recently so like you could buy uh sports cards like you know like a rookie card tom brady's rookie card but like invest in it so if it sells for more money you get that money so it's like it's a group of people so it's like i'm gonna put you know a thousand dollars on this card so i don't know if that's a new scam but it seems like people are
Starting point is 01:57:40 doing it they're investing in in baseball or like sports cards just so if they sell for more. But it takes a while for a card to sell. It's a whole process. Well, the tweet thing. What's the tweet? Oh, that's another one. I don't understand this. NFT?
Starting point is 01:57:54 Yeah. I don't really understand it. It's like you're buying a tweet and you own that tweet. Like Elon Musk has some or you could have had uh non-fungible tokens yes something like that so you own that tweet like what's a famous you know the tweet the first tweet ever the first tweet ever is worth money yes and you're like i that's my i own that tweet even though anybody can look it up online but they own it people can still use it it's very weird and people are selling them for i mean 500 grand yeah that's crazy it's all kind of made it
Starting point is 01:58:31 like it's almost like we're like i think we've got too much stuff yeah we're just and we're all just trying to like rip each other off yeah like it's like who's ever gonna fall for that yeah it's one big ponzi scheme everything's a big pot and you're just hope you don't get caught with like holding the you know the bag when it's all over yeah you always heard those cases of gofundmes big ponzi scheme everything's a big pot and you're just hope you don't get caught with like holding the you know the bag when it's all over yeah you always heard those cases of gofundmes where people would just say hey guys i just that's a classic gofundme is a i mean is a big scam gofundme is huge yeah people asking for money on online instagram you know oh my dog is sick it needs money for surgery just random people and like people give money that don't even know that person.
Starting point is 01:59:05 They just follow their dog's account or something. Or post a GoFundMe, here's the link. They just do it. There was a lot of psychics on here, a lot of televangelists. But to me, that's not a scam per se. I mean, maybe it's a scam. But if you say, give me $500 so you can be in the 700 club or whatever people think that's just stealing money but i think those people believe it's worth it to them yeah it's not like
Starting point is 01:59:33 they're lying to you this just may be not the best investment i don't know what if there's like i'm going to talk to your dead dad well the psychic yes sylvia brown was on here she was the most famous psychic that would go in my tail and do that yeah i mean so baby you're you're your dad could fit on all these yeah it'd be a matter about how you wrote it out to be like that a guy that make millions you saw that documentary yeah yeah yeah yeah that was a crazy yeah that would be your dad totally oh yeah he'd be involved in that somehow just like yeah now but the thing is you know he he ran it by himself so he wouldn't want to be involved with like that was a that was an operation kind of so we're involved right it didn't involve yeah well it's the idea of more people involved yeah problems
Starting point is 02:00:15 exactly let me do one more yeah do one more titanic thompson he was the uh golf scammer he would a golf hustler he once once bet a guy could drive a golf ball 500 yards using a hickory shaft club. The guy took him on the bet and then he waited until winter and drove the ball in a frozen lake. It's kind of like 10 Cup. I'm sure that's where the 10 Cup story came from.
Starting point is 02:00:38 It is. He would do this hustle game where he did pool everything and he started hanging out with professional golfers he made thirty thousand dollars a year hustling back in the 1930s and he would hustle these country club guys and he would he would beat them right-handed and then he's like all right i tell you what you want to do double or nothing i'll play this round left-handed and he would beat him again because he's really a left-handed golfer yeah he just wouldn't tell him that so he
Starting point is 02:01:04 was the top player or player or golfer? Golfer, but he also did pool. He did stuff with Minnesota Fats. Yeah. Ben Hogan called him the greatest shot maker ever. Minnesota Fats buried here, Hermitage, Tennessee. Oh, yeah? Yep.
Starting point is 02:01:17 I forget why, really. But my dad, we went to his grave site when we were kids. I don't know why we did that. Yeah, we talked about that on the sports episode. I think his girlfriend or something, or he retired here or something. Yeah. Yeah. In Hermitage.
Starting point is 02:01:32 Yeah. He grew up at the church, right? He used to go to church. Kind of crazy. Like right there, Minnesota Fats. Like such a famous name. Yeah. And just, you're like, right there?
Starting point is 02:01:40 Yeah. All right. All right. That was fun. I've learned. I didn't know all the extreme of all this stuff. crazy that's wild thank you guys you got a lot of problems gary you should go back to therapy a therapist i think would be like who like he would be going through my phone to make sure i still have his number yeah i gotta
Starting point is 02:02:02 go yeah yeah yeah uh all right everybody uh yeah as always thank you guys very much gary veder check everything out he does uh uh on you know your web do you have a website yeah yeah garyveter.com give donate there he's got money garyveter.com uh the nathan live podcast sold out y'all have any dates coming up or uh breakfast in the Gout Tour Breakfast in the Gout Tour Nice Coming out
Starting point is 02:02:28 Do you have anything April 7th I'm doing a show in Lexington If we have some fans In Lexington, Kentucky Yeah I think we don't there But
Starting point is 02:02:35 Yeah If we do Go out and check out Aaron Weber Like the grill Weber Thank you guys As always
Starting point is 02:02:44 Thanks for watching the special. Always means a lot. Truly. See you next week. Thanks everybody for listening to Nate land podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know,
Starting point is 02:03:03 wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or a comment. Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetti, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation's consulting and partnership with Center Street Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.

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