The Nateland Podcast - 4: #4 | Farming

Episode Date: February 25, 2026

This week, Dusty shares a heated encounter with his Uber driver, Brian has trouble pronouncing the name Boyd, and Aaron and Dusty debate how long they'd last before becoming cannibals. Plus, the guys learn a little bit about farming. Chime: Chime.com/NATEChime is not just smarter banking, it is the most rewarding bank. It just takes a few minutes to sign up. Head to Chime.com/NATE. Superpower: Superpower.comHead to Superpower.com and use code NATE at checkout for $20 off your membership. Live up to your 100-Year potential. #superpowerpod#adWarby Parker:Warbyparker.com/NatelandOur listeners get 15% off plus free shipping when they buy two or more pairs of prescription glasses at Warbyparker.com/Nateland — using our link helps support the show. #WarbyParker #adIQBAR: Text NATE to 64000 to get 20% off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply.

All right. Hello, general public. Common folk, little people. Welcome to the public figures podcast where we're public figures. You are not. As always, I'm joined with my host, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slay. All right. Aaron, where are you going to be this weekend? I am going to be in Edmonton, Alberta coming up, not this weekend. That's what I'm saying. March 5th through the 7th, come out and see me at the comic strip in Edmonton, Alberta. This weekend I'm going to be in Poughkeepsie, New York, which has never been there. And it's right around New York City. I typically don't sell well there, so buy some tickets. And then I'll be in Albany, New York on Saturday, where I do sell well. So hurry and get your tickets.

Why do you think it's the difference? I don't know. I don't know why, but the shows are always great whenever I do. shows right around the city or even in the city. They're great. We have a ton of fun. But for whatever, I think they have a lot of options. And I think sometimes people, you know, maybe judgment. They go, this is, you know, just another Southern comic out here. You ever seen the Poughkeepsie tapes, the movie? No, what's that? It's a found footage movie about a serial killer in the Poughkeepsie area. Oh, okay.

Yeah, I think it's pretty bad. Like a true story. No. I was just made up. But I'm excited to go. I've never been there. Never been there. I'm going to fly you. I'm a fly into New York City and my friend Derek Humphrey will be picking me up and will drive to Poughkeepsie. All right. What are you, Brian? Where are you going to be? I have a corporate this Friday. Could be doing public

shows, though. I'm going to be in Covington, Tennessee. Okay. Easier to drive. Easier to drive. It'd be tough to fly there probably. You can fly to Memphis and then it's tough to fly to Memphis. I don't think there's a direct. I think you have to connect to get to Memphis.

You have to go to Atlanta first. I'm going to do it just to make a point. I'm flying this. Take me 12 hours. I hate the drive to Memphis. From Nashville to Memphis, I hate that. As beautiful as central in eastern Tennessee as western Tennessee is a snooze fest out there. Yeah, once you get all the way to the west, you hit the Mississippi River.

That's pretty cool. You mean once you're out of the state? Yeah. I read this thing. Well, I watched it on TikTok, but they said that Interstate 40 really, killed Highway 70, which used to run all the way through Tennessee, which was all of these small towns. And they had, they had, you know, thriving communities because of Highway 70. And then Interstate 40 made it easier to travel through, but kind of killed a lot of small towns

because now people could just zip right through. I think that's true. I mean, Highway 70 runs through Lebanon where I grew up. And it's, well, I mean, you see it right there. It goes all, like you said, all the way across the state. And then I've told this before, but I-40 came in, I think, in the 1960s and split our family farm. Oh, yeah. And half.

Wow. And I think, and I think I've said this before, but like I said, it was a new podcast, so everything's new, right? The plan was, this was just supposed to be truly for interstate travel, long distances, this is what people thought they would only use it for. Nobody envisioned that people would be using it just every day to get to work. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So. Yeah. I mean, so a lot of, yeah, I mean, it kind of makes you sad in a way. But also, you know, like if you go from Birmingham to Opelika, you have to take Highway 280. Yeah. And I'll be honest with you. I hate it.

I wish that I could just get on an interstate and zoom right on down there. You could go through. through Montgomery. Yeah. It'll take a lot more time. Next time you go to Memphis, take Highway 70. I should. I just kind of hate when I'm traveling.

I kind of hate to start stopping. I do want to take 70 because the video said take 70 and see all the towns that Interstate 40 ruined. Do you know Highway 70 goes through downtown Nashville? No. Broadway. Wow. That's, yeah, that's Highway 70.

Oh, that's enough to not make me do any of them. Just to avoid that. Definitely not at night. Lebanon Road. which comes in through harmonage and Donaldson. That's Highway 70. Wow. It comes all the way into downtown Nashville.

I am going to do it. If you're not from Tennessee, I'm sorry about the last five minutes, but I'm enjoying it. Well, I'm excited that you got to learn a little bit about Tennessee. Talk about our top five coffee shops in Nashville. Yeah. I mean, guys, we are. Top five favorite non-interstate roads in the state of Tennessee. We are, you know, we represent Tennessee.

So we got to, you know, we got to tell people about it. We represent the world, Dusty. Not me. Well, if you're listening, we got a little new paint job in here. Yeah. It's a little... The studio. Yeah.

Not us personally. And I got a nice picture on the wall for my Netflix special wet heat. I haven't even seen that. Took a long time to get a decent size poster of myself in here, but we did it. We did it. Aaron got one too. Look at that. Oh, okay.

Yours will be up there when you record your special. This coming Q2, Q1. We'll see. Okay. We'll see. It's happening soon. I hope so. I don't know if we'll do a full poster for it.

Oh, there it is right up there. Yeah. Yeah. Well, where were you guys this weekend? I'll start. Yeah, I'd like to hear it. I was last night, I was in Arlington, Virginia, at the Arlington, Draft House.

Okay. Which, if you don't know, that's Highway 70 runs right through Arlington. No. That's basically Washington, D.C. Okay. Did you know that, Dusty? I didn't know that. Yeah.

It's, I mean, of course, Arlington National Cemetery is there, but it's basically Washington, D.C. And they, you know, these coast is getting hit by a big snowstorm. Right. I was leaning toward counseling the show. It doesn't take people much of a reason to not come to my show. Oh, go on. They're looking verdicts.

Well, I'm just saying it didn't take it a lot for them to say, I'll catch him next time. So I was late, and I talked to the owner that out before, he's like, I think we're going to be okay. And then, so I flew in yesterday morning. And then even yesterday afternoon, it's pouring out snow. And I'm like, why didn't we do this? But people came out. Awesome. It was great.

And people didn't seem to mind the snow. I got a few messages from people saying they were driving from far away. They decided to not come, which I totally understand. Yeah. But, yeah, it was a great show and great time. I'd like to start promoting shows by saying, this is the last time I'm ever coming to this city. Don't try to catch me next time.

But then you're going to come back in 18 months. Well, we'll see. You know, musicians get to do that all the time. Yeah. It's the farewell tour. Yeah. And then they're back out the next year. Yeah.

You can just lie about that. Jeff Allen's doing that. He's being honest. He's like, this might be my last farewell tour. My last farewell. Well, this might be my last tour ever, too. But I mean, I think that's the name of his tour is... This is my...

Something like that. He's got the word might in there? He's basically letting you know... I'm going to say this is my farewell tour, but I might do another one. Oh, okay. Okay. I like that. Yeah.

You know, I could also die in a car accident. Could quit any time. On my flight home today, Southwest, I always get the window seat. I know you guys are aisle seat guys, but I like a... Love an aisle. I love a window. Can't stand it. Rather a middle.

You drive up in the middle than or not? 100%. For what reason? Got no room over there, man. You're up against the wall. I don't like being over there. I don't like having to ask people to get up. I got to.

I never get up and I often sleep. The only way I can do it is lean against my head against the wall. That's what I did today. Anyway, but a mom and her child got on set beside me. Now, I'm actually to see them coming. I'm thinking, this is good. The child's like nine or ten years old. Oh, okay. And I think less space to fill in this middle seat. 100%. Yeah. But for the first time ever, the mom sat in the middle seat and the kid sit in the aisle. She thought, I don't want my kid next to those guys. I mean, I was starting to learn that. And the mom

wasn't particularly a small lady. So I'm like, what? There's a big woman. I'm not saying that either, but I'm just saying... I think that's the point of the story. She bled over a little bit. She might have been looking for a stepdad. I've just never experienced that where they didn't put the kid in the middle and the parent on the aisle. It is. It is an odd choice.

Maybe if she was bigger, she gets hit by the card a lot. Everybody that walks by hits her. No, she's saying she should have taken the window. Oh, well, you're in the window. I'm in the window. Oh, you got a big one. Oh, yeah, she's in the middle. I would think she gets hit by the window.

the card and everybody that walked by. That's a risk you put up with. Yeah, I mean, I don't mind it. There's not a card on Southwest either. People hit me with their bags all the time. I said on the aisle. Okay. I've never thought about that.

There's not a card on Southwest. They don't do a card on Southwest. They have a little tray that they carry everything out on. I don't think I've even thought about that. I'm loving Southwest, I got to say. I'm a big fan now. What took you so long? I just needed them to change the seating policy.

The moment I could pick my own seat, I'm on board. Okay. That's all I need. I did not like first come, first serve on seats. Yeah. I didn't like the corraling. But anyway, great time. Thank you for everybody who braved the snow to come out last night.

I was in Texas this week at Houston, Texas at the Improv, great show. And then I had Connor Larson with me all weekend. He did great on all the shows. A friend of not this show, but of Nate Land, Connor Larson, you remember him? And then we're in Dallas, Texas. We have a show together where we react to things. Dusty and Connor react.

Sorry. So let you finish your plug. Well, I'm just piggybacking off. You know, you're plugging Connor. So I'm like, yeah, Connor's got some things going on. So I'm just supporting you. So anyway, I was in Dallas and I went to the... I can't handle support.

What could you handle some support here? I went to the Addison Improv, 5. shows. Unbelievable weekend. Thank you to everybody who came. And, you know, we were on top of a Jimmy John's all weekend. It's good. Did my friend, Foster, Foster, come? Yeah, my dad. My parents did come to a show. It was good. What did they think? They had a good time. They had a good time. Yeah. And thank you to everybody who came out. Do you feel more pressure when your parents are there? No, not pressure. It's just, like, I have a couple bits where I talk about them and I kind of had to change how I said it. Not that I'm being mean about them when they're not there, but it's just, yeah, you think about it when they're in the room.

I didn't mean pressure. Yeah, but you just think about it a little bit more. I think you feel a pressure for the audience to be good when I have people there where I'm like this, but I want this to be a good audience. But every now and then I go, I want them to see what I'm really dealing with. Oh, okay. I want them to see. I want them to see me work. They got idea. Huh.

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See chime.com for details and applicable terms. Dustin, where were you? I went to, I flew to Traverse City, Michigan on Friday, and I got an Uber. Direct flight from Nashville? No, I had to connect. I had to connect. Cherry Capitol of the world. Drinking a cherry drink here.

Cherry Capitol. Traverse City is? What gives them the right to say that? I think they grow a lot of cherries. Do they grow the most cherries? I think so. Maybe the best. Maybe the best cherries.

Okay, well, those are two different arguments. I don't know. This is just what they say about themselves. What's McVenville, the nursery capital? of the world. Yeah. It says, yeah, it's a hot spot for cherry production. Yeah.

And it hosts the National Cherry Festival every year, which attracts over 500,000 people. Yeah. Okay. That's enough to call yourself the Cherry. But there are not that many people there normally. And I try to get a lift, and Lyft was going to take a long time. Lift is what I usually use. So I ended up getting Uber.

And a guy came, and this guy, he picked me up. He didn't help me with my luggage, which is fine. I don't need help, but I always appreciate when they get out and at least a 10-10-10. At least feign offering them. And then I got in. The guy never spoke to me, never said hey. So I didn't say hey to him. I'm not, you know, I'm just, I'm not mad at him.

I love that. It's five-star for me. But I'm just rolling on. You're describing a lot of people's ideal experience. I'm okay with it. I'm okay with it. And then he goes, and he makes a wrong turn. And he goes, ah, GPS keeps messing up.

And then he kind of like really whips the car around in a U-turn and guns it. And I go, all right. With some urgency. I go, this is fine. And then he ends up taking me to the wrong hotel. But he realizes he's done this. And he goes, yeah, my GPS keeps messing up. He goes, the government's been hacking into my GPS.

You're like five stars right now. This guy's my hero. Typically, I'm into this sort of thing. This guy seemed unhinged. Yeah. And I'm in his car and he keeps speeding around. Now you know how we feel. Well, I mean, you're not, we're in a neutral studio here.

I don't have you in my car. I have. Yeah. But this guy, you know, and this guy's like, he just keeps going. And I'm just sitting there. He keeps going on about, he goes, you live around here? I go, nah. He goes, well, get out of here fast as you can.

He goes, there, you know, he just keeps going on and on about stuff. And the government's been hacking him, and he got funneled into driving for Uber. And he can't find a job anywhere else. And then he's about to miss the turn to my hotel. So I point, and he goes, there's another turn. And I go, okay, well, you've been missing every turn the whole way. And he keeps going on. And finally we get to the thing.

And when we stop at the hotel, then I get out and I go, hey, listen, I agree with you on a lot of this stuff. But you don't need to talk to people about it when they're trying. trapped in your car. He goes, you were never trapped in my car. I go, well, I'm, you know, well, all right. He goes, this is an app. You ordered this service. You were never trapped in this car. Wow. And then I go, all right, guy, whatever. And then I go, you can't even have a conversation with you. And he goes, oh, you want to say something? I go, and then we start talking. I got all my stuff out. We start yelling at each other in the, in the parking lot of the hotel. This guy's so unhinged. I'm yelling at this.

guy. He goes, have a blessed day. And then I cursed at him. And, uh, oh, wow. So you're fired at, what time of day is this? This is 1 p.m. Oh, okay. So you're fired up and you got a little time to kill before the show. Yeah. And then a guy that works at the hotel was walking by. And then he comes that we go in and he goes, oh, tough Uber ride. And then I reported the guy. I've never reported someone on who, but I go, this guy's a lunatic. Like, I'm fine with that ride, but I don't know if it were a girl that got picked up, that might be freaked out by this maniac. And then Uber was just like, well, make sure you're never paired with him again. I go, why don't you fire him? I mean, I know you're not going to share the cursing, but what's some points you were making

back to him? Well, I was just trying. I mean, he wouldn't let me make a point, is what I was saying. I go, I go, he kept getting hung up on the trapped in the car thing. And I go, Either way, I'm in your car, you're driving, my luggage is in the back of your car. And he couldn't get around that part. So I was like, all right, guy, whatever. And then he's like, he just, the thing that bothered me about it is I didn't really want to talk to the guy while I was kind of stuck in his car. But he kept acting like, yeah, people don't speak out like me. That's why I'm being targeted.

Nobody wants to speak out. Everybody wants to be quiet. And it's like he's, and it's like he's. This guy is you. It's like he went out. He's like he's trying to make it seem like. Like, I am not aware of these things I was talking about. And I want to go, buddy, lock it up, okay?

This would be so funny if we find out Dusty actually got a rental car and this is all just like a movie. Yeah, that would be funny. That would be. That would be. That would be better. I mean, I'd be more into that. But, yeah, this guy was, I was like, you know, I said, you know, it's like, as a conspiracy theorist, it's like when I see one out in the wild, you know, I'm like, nah, don't do it like that. Yeah, dial it in a little bit.

You know, have some, be jokey about it. You know, say the truth, but then go, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah. Just joking. And then people are like, he's just doing a bit. Yeah, exactly. You ask him about cherries? We didn't get into any of the touristy stuff.

Okay. He seemed to think, Trevor. You skipped all small talk went right to that. Yeah, this guy. And then when I went to report him, he had a 4.9 rating, which was pretty good. And he had been driving. That's unbelievable. He'd been driving for nine and a half years.

Okay, so this guy is a star. Yeah. This guy, I think. I think I'm on his side. Might be the highest rated Uber driver in Traverse City. I think his meds just got switched or something. I think you caught him on a bad day. He's been recalibrating his brain, it sounds like.

But the show was great. Traverse City is a very nice town. Yeah. The show was great. Found a nice cigar bar after. Okay. Really good. Indoor, good ventilation.

Right downtown. Nick's cigar bar, I think it was. And then I went to Saginaw, Michigan. Saginaw. Which, there's a country song, Saginaw, Michigan by Lefty Frizzell, cover by Johnny Cash. Very good song. But I stayed, Saginaw didn't seem like it had the safest hotel situation. So I stayed in Frankenmuth, Michigan, which is a German village.

Now we're talking. And, yeah, they had all the buildings were like. like, real like old school German looking, and I ate at the Bavarian restaurant, Bavarian Inn, had a little wiener snitzel, which is veal. Okay. Fried. It was great. Second all, one of the most dangerous cities in America.

Yeah. It did not seem safe. Mm-hmm. But the theater was great, and they really appreciated it being there. They gave me a nice spread in the green room. They had me a cake. I wish I had brought the name of the people that made. made the cake, but they won like a baking TV show competition, and they baked me a cake.

All right. Yeah. Did you eat it? And then a guy named Steve O Woods came and brought me a bunch of gifts, brought me some dusty sleigh cookies. And it was great. I mean, Saginaw was great, and the show was amazing. Saginaw, Michigan. That's how the song goes.

I met a girl in Saginaw, Michigan. And it's great. I'm still thinking about this Uber driver. I admire you, I guess, for most people would just never say anything, just complain in their friends. If that was me, I would immediately got out, text to you guys. You're not going to believe. Some would argue that's the right approach.

But keep going. But Dusty's trying to help this guy out. He's trying to give him some advice. If the guy could have just chilled out, we could have probably hung out. Your main point was, look, dude, you could have like, I get, I love what you're saying. You got to just cool it a little bit. Yeah. And then he snapped.

The government doesn't even have to hack your GPS. We're just giving it to them. What does he mean the government hacks his GPS to mess up his Uber rides from the airport? I think so, because he's been speaking out. That's what I'm saying. You're taking it too far, buddy. The government doesn't need to hack it. We're just giving it away to them.

Well, I, I texted you guys Saturday night. Google probably is the government. You should have told him to Google you and he would say you're a celebrity conspiracy thirst. I didn't want him to come to the, I didn't want him to come to my show. But I think if he saw who he's dealing with, he'd be like, oh, well, this guy, he knows what he's talking about. I text to you guys Saturday night and said, TSA pre-check has been suspended because of the partial government shutdown. And that seems to shut down every month. I know.

I know. Yeah. I feel like they finally, they'll get a resolved and then it shuts down again. I say shut it down all together. But not TSA pre-check. That's the only thing we should keep. Who cares? Shut it all down.

Let's get a little chaos out here. Yeah. I hope that Uber driver is listening. I feel like I'm in an Uber right now. Trapped. Let's get a little chaos going. Let's start over. Well, I got to the airport Sunday morning.

Start over? Start over what? The whole country. America? Just shut it down. Just keep the concept. But shut it all down and we'll restart. Like, how would that work?

That doesn't matter. Okay. Blow the whole infrastructure up. We're out here, eating off campfires. And a fight club. Just blow it all up. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's what I was getting at, though.

You're saying go back to some primitive ways of life. Yeah. Yeah, potentially. Yeah. I'll die quickly, but I guess it'll be. good for the world. What were you saying, Brian? I get to the airport Sunday morning thinking it's going to be chaos and TSA pre-check still open. They were open to, yeah. And then apparently they either reverse course or, I don't know, but I think people, I don't have got upset. Yeah, how about

keep the thing open we've already paid for? How about that? Yeah. So, yeah, I got through the Detroit airport faster than I expected chaos too. I got there early. I got there so fast. It was like the fastest I ever got there. But you're clear. So. Yeah, I'm clear too. You would have been okay anyway. Such a shame, dude. I zoomed right through. Yeah, such a shame. I think about it every time.

You should have told that Uber driver, you signed up for clear. Just throw a little gasoline on the fire. But when you go to the airport now, they take your picture every time. I mean, it's the same thing. I think there's a difference between taking a grainy picture for me standing four feet away and then going inside my eye sockets. Well, with clear, it's the same thing now. It's just a picture.

That's what they say. It's just facial recognition just like the other. That's what they say it is. You got a close-up shot of your eye. No, they used to do that, but I would always say, let me do the fingers. They got us fingerprints. Yeah, I would say. They took a blood draw.

I would say, let me do the, they got all our fingerprints. You don't think they can get your fingerprints from your iPhone? Come on. Poop sample. Come on, guys. Come on, guy. We already lost. It's like.

You said, let's just start over. We've already lost. So let's just start over and see what happens the second time. Yes. Well, let me tell you some Nateland News. It's a great segue. We've already lost, folks. Here's some stuff to tune in to.

But the information battle, I believe we have lost already. I mean, they have everything. They know where you go. They know what your habits are. They know where you're eating. They know where you're ordering off Amazon. Which I love. It saves me a lot of trouble.

I love it when they know everything about me. They just send me like, this is stuff you'd probably be interested in. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, thank you. I don't know how to search like Aaron does. So just send it to me. Yeah. Can I share some little Nateland news with you guys? Please do.

Our friend Brad Upton, he is filming his one-hour special at the Franklin Theater, March 29, tickets are in sale. Brad was on season two of the showcase. Very funny. Yeah, he's great. What are we in now? Season four of the showcase? We're taping season four this week. Yeah, you did one last night.

I'm hosting tonight. Yep. Here it is next. And the first set premieres March 19th. So that's soon. Coming up. Yep.

And Nate's big dumb eyes. You remember Nate? Yeah. Used to work here. Vaguely. His Big Dumb Eyes World Tour is in, oh, Florida. Where you go down,

take your shirt off, do some grounding. He's in Jacksonville on Thursday. Jacksonville's bit north for taking your shirt off. He's still this time of year. Doesn't stop people. Yeah. You got to get a little further south this time of year.

Is this Estero? Estero. Okay. Estero, Florida, Friday and Saturday. And Sunrise, Florida on Sunday. Wow, I don't, the only place I know is Jacksonville. Nate might as well just to drive these. He has hit rock bottle.

These little dinky towns. Yeah. Pop-up shows. Only a matter of tone. Yep. Should we get in these comments? Let's do it. Let's start it off.

Who wants to read them? I think you should, Brian. Yeah. Boyd. Boyd. Boyd. Why don't you all read them then? No, that's worth it.

That's worth it. You said one word, and Desi's already said, geez. You attacked it, too. You hit it. I was focusing on the last name. Yeah, no. Let me just get the first name out of the way. Boyd.

It's perfect. Is it? Yeah, Hey, nailed it. Okay, Boyd. Well, guys, come on. I got a big last name coming up here. We need to get past this first one.

Boyd. No, you're doing great. Just go to the last. I want to say it once without you guys. You're not going to ramp up to it, man. Boyd. B-O-Y-D. Yes.

How do you say it? Like Lloyd, but with the B. Lloyd? Lloyd. Boyd Knight and Helzer. There you go. Knight and Helzer. That's a great last name.

You have found your groove. Great episode. Well, thank you, Boyd. Appreciate that. Oh yeah, you really nailed it on that last one. All right. Thank you. Yeah. Chris Mertz, Dusty referencing Helen Keller with,

if you're blind and deaf, what are you writing about? It's perhaps the most logical thought this podcast, be it Nateland or public figures, has ever produced. I appreciate that. You know, only two people got mad at me. One person sent me something to my inbox, and one lady commented on Instagram and said that I was a waste of humanity. and because they can't understand the difference in a legit question and an insult.

I wasn't insulting Helen Keller, but my understanding was she was born, blind, and deaf. I think she had a childhood illness, right? But how old? Very young. Yeah, like a baby. Right. So it's like you don't even remember what you saw and what you heard. And now you can't see anything.

You can't hear anything. How do you even know to write? And then what are you writing about? I mean, I'm not trying to make fun of Helen Keller. You still have memories? As a baby? You have memories for me and a baby? You know what's so funny is we could read the book and find out what you wrote about, but we're not doing that.

No, I'm saying if you're blind and deaf, you would still have memories. Of what? Well, that's part of the magic. Memory of this. Anything that's going on? You think blind and deaf people don't remember stuff? I don't know. I don't know any blind and deaf people.

It sounds like you should read the book. Yeah. I don't, you know, I don't read any books, to be fair. Well, get the audio book. Yeah. It's somebody else. Somebody else reads it. Find a TikTok.

Sorry. I don't think she does the audio. See, you're making fun of hell of hell of hell more than me. I just realized halfway through. But, no, I appreciate Chris Merck. It is a logical, a logical thought. And it needed to be said. It did need to be said, yes

Thank you, Chris. Isaiah. I'm ordering one on Amazon right now for you. Do you want hardback or just charge you? Paper back. An Atlanta account. Why not call it hard back?

What do you call it? I think it's hard back. Hard cover. Hard cover. And then a paper covered? Okay. $29? Never mind.

Nah, that's too much. No, that's too. Yeah. Come on. Yeah, see, that's what I'm saying. Your curiosity about what she wrote about cost you $30. What year, without looking, what year do you think Helen Keller died? 1918.

Probably in the 50s or 60s. Okay. See, to me, she seems like someone from a long, further ago than that. Right. And people speculate, or Dusty speculating, she's not even real. She died in 1968. Wow. Three years before I was born.

Wow. She's a year away from seeing the moon landing. Come on, man. You're a waste of humanity. And then I go, I just said to the lady, I go, that's very nice. I mean, she goes, doesn't feel good, does it? You think Helen Keller got the message that I said? I mean, doesn't feel good.

Do you think a deaf person saw the comment and goes, oh, I hate this guy? Nobody cares. Nobody cares. It's 1968. Isn't that crazy? Joe List has a great bit about how he found out Picasso died in the 70s. Yeah. He's like, didn't you think Picasso was around in like the 1200s?

Yeah. Yeah, he was like he was drinking Mountain Dew and watching the Super Bowl. Yeah, he saw nine Super Bowls or something like that. Yeah, I mean, it's insane. That is insane. Isaiah Farina. Bates has become more outspoken and a little meaner since he no longer has to fear being the target of Nate's jokes.

Gone are the days of meek, worried breakfast bates. Now we have big bad boss bates. I expect the power to go to his head and unless Dusty and Aaron can rain him in, within a month he'll be wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses and ripping cigarettes during the podcast to match his new bad boy vibe. This is what I've been pushing for. I know. You come in like Fonsie one.

Hey. That's what I've been pushing for. I'd like to smoke while we do this podcast. And I think you're the guy to start it. We can make it happen. Yeah. Can we do that, Adrian? Sure.

Okay. Well, thank you, Isaiah. I think you're on to something. We all got to, it's got to, I'll do a pipe, corn cop pipe. Yeah, AG one. Cigarettes. Phil. I.

I. bar, sorry. Phil Van Veldhusen. Is that right? Van Veldhusen. It's like they knew you were going to try to read these names this week, right? They put in some crazy ones. It was refreshing to hear Aaron describe his grocery bag carrying skills. It reminded me that public figures can beat everyday folks. Thank you for the content and keep it up. I appreciate that, Phil. But what I was saying is that I have exceptional ability to carry in the bags. I'm not, you know, I would say above average. Yeah, not a every day, folk. Probably, dude, if you got a family of 10,

I bet I can get all your groceries in one trip. That's amazing. Yeah. I bet I can't. I might drop a few things. Yeah. But that's because the bags are weak. That's right.

They got a weak bag. You got a double, triple bag, a lot of stuff. Thank you, Phil. Del Furscher 1. Dusty, you've been killing it in the comedy scene. Thanks. You're no nonsense, no filter style is refreshing. You're not just hilarious.

Your humility shines through. Where? I enjoy Brian and Aaron as he wears his own merch. I enjoy Brian and Aaron, but they could take a page from your book on humility. Sometimes they come off a bit arrogant. Remember, it's wise to appreciate those who support you. I couldn't agree more. I mean, that's what I think all the time, how much they try to humiliate me on this podcast.

I don't know if you guys remember the last podcast we did when I, you know, I won a, you know, Best Local Comic. you guys tried to humiliate me. So you think the humble person in that scenario is the guy who walked in and waved his award around at the table? Well, you're describing that however you want to describe it. I don't think I walked in, waving it around. You had a little spring in your step. You guys weren't going to bring it up.

So I had to, you know, you guys didn't care about my accomplishment. Somebody had to bring it up. But I appreciate that. The foals are won. Do you ever leave the doctor's office and you're like, man, I got nothing from that? They're just like, drink water. Every time. They say, good luck.

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After you sign up, they'll ask how you heard about them. So make sure to mention this podcast and support our show. Aaron Edwards, I imagine Dusty's song would be a little different. I just want to plant my trees. I just want to build my bunker. I just want to take your leaves. Yeah, I mean, that song is so stuck in my head now. I've been thinking about.

I just want to catch my fish. Yeah. Drink my beer. Hug my dog. I was doing it with my kids. We were putting the kids. I don't think they quite understood what we were doing, but they still got in on it. And we were laughing about it.

I just want to shoot my dog. You know, I was saying stuff like that. And they were loving it. They are, I just want to stab a fish. And they were having a great time. That's fun. Yeah. Ruth says she went to a baby shower for Hannah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, we have what you call a sprinkle. Yeah, I'm like, this guy's on millionaires and cars drinking coffee. We got to pay for his baby. It's a sprinkle, you know what I'm then? Sprinkle. What, baby sprinkle? I like that.

I've never heard of that. Yeah, it's like when you have, you know, we have multiple kids. First one's a shower. Right. And then others, it's like, hey, just a little help from the community. Right. You know, it brings people together. It's really what it's all about.

I like that. Well, I don't know what we gave you. I'm going to find out. Yeah. A bunch of women folk getting together, talking. Yapping. Yeah. Having a good time. Community.

Caleb Byron. Aaron's Olympic activity would be working in a Roku remote. He said one time that he could turn on closed captioning behind his back, and for some reason, it has always stuck in my head. I just think I can grab any television remote. You're an exceptional remote worker. I appreciate that. Yeah.

Any remote, drop me in any hotel in America. And I can just kind of, I don't know if it's in my bones or in my DNA. But I can just feel where the buttons are on the remote without looking. I remember being at that Huntsville condo with you and watch. I was like, I was pretty amazed. Well, some people are so, like, you know, the amount of times I've watched a grown adult, like, point a Comcast remote at a Samsung TV. And they're like, the input won't change.

And I go, well, why don't we match them up first? And then I can, you know, behind the back, I can. I mean, I can, you know, page up, page down, guide. I'm going to put on Spanish subtitles. I can do it, no look. Wow. You know, I just, I got it. It's in me.

I'd believe that. I appreciate it, man. I was watching you work that thing. And I was like, wow, you really, we were watching that guy, that one guy, that one comic that, you always share his videos with me. Okay. Okay. I'm right here. Is it something y'all make fun of?

Yeah. Yeah. You said that you and Hannah used to, I think y'all said on your podcast, y'all would watch videos together of comics being bad. We like to try to find bad comedy on YouTube, but what's hard to find is bad comedy in good quality. Right. Well, right after you said on your podcast, you said,

hey, we watched your drybar special. I loved it. I'm like, did you? Well, we did like it, but we would be searching, you know, for things. Dry bar was really good because there are a lot of good dry bars, but there are a lot of really bad ones. And I pretty entertained by it. And it is, there's some bad stuff out there. I got some good stuff.

I'll show you. Okay. Because there's, you know, there's really good comedy. And then there's a lot. That's not what I mean. I mean, I got some good bad stuff. And then there's a whole lot of bad comedy. Right.

And sometimes the clean bad is, is the most bad because it, It's just a little cheesy. We were driving home from somewhere, and you played for me an album of a comic, and it was so bad that we were dying laughing. I mean, just crying. More than you would at a good album. I think there's a few that you've sent me. But I'm always listening to him alone, and I just go, this is terrible.

It's fun to listen with somebody. Yeah. Yeah. Marvin Wingfield, my wife's Olympic game would be finding the exact. right Tupperware needed for the leftovers. She's insanely good at it. I wouldn't even make the team while she would get the gold. Yeah, I could see it.

My wife's good at that too. I feel like I got to buy all new Tupperware every two months. I don't know what happened. I think we just lose them. The lids, I think, evaporated in the dishwasher. Yeah. I think they melt and go down the drain. I think I got to invest in some good glass Tupperware.

Something. You know what I mean? I got a bunch of glass Tupperware, no lid. Lids still go away? Yeah. Gally. I got a tip for you. Okay.

Okay. I didn't know. What's up, man? I started putting the lids with the Tupperware when I put it away. Oh, yeah. So instead of having the lids all stacked. You close it up? I close it up and then I put it away.

Yeah, but we don't lose it. We do that too. But you're saying they disappear in the dishwasher, right? Something happens to them. Like, you put four and four and then you come out with four and three. I don't know where they go. I think if you close it up all the way, though, you got to make sure it's completely dry before you put it in there.

You're going to get some mold. I just want to eat the mold. I just want to close the lid on my Tupperware and eat my dog. Hannah had some really funny puts off like to. You know, just, you're like, I just want to pay $15 for a Starbucks, ice cream, coffee. Daniel Farrell. Farrell. Farrill.

Farrill. You know how many jokes they probably got? Those Farrell kids are coming over. Yeah. Probably were wild kids. Yeah, I bet they were. You got to live up to the name. The event is smoke a cigarette and see who can keep the longest ash.

The ultimate goal would be smoke a full cigarette without losing the ash. That's tough to do. That's tough to do. People try to do it with cigars. They try to, there is a real thing about not going. getting rid of the ash. Is there a style, something you can do to make it last longer? Well, I think it shows the quality of cigar.

A really well-made cigar will burn very evenly and the ash will stay up there. So like a cigarette is designed to not do that. So that's why there's probably some skill involved. But I think cigar, I mean, what always happens to me is I try to keep that ash going and then eventually it falls on my pants. But then it feels real satisfying when like a big one comes off. Yeah. But a cigarette, you're just constantly trying to flip it off.

I don't know. We'll do that. We'll try that in the Tupperware thing. Daniel Smorkowski. What's going on with these names? I know Daniel. Do you? He's came to my show in Chicago.

Okay. I listen to your life. You get to know everybody personally. I know, I know Daniel. Yeah, okay. I've DM. Daniel. I have. He was the guy. I'm being serious. Yeah, yeah, based on the

comment. He was the guy at the show. He brought his girlfriend to my last show. He works at the airport. He works at O'Hare Airport. Okay. I think for, I forgot when airline, United, maybe. Not Southwest. I know that. Yeah. I listened to your latest episode on my commute home, and you guys said there should be a fall and spring Olympics. Well, the special Olympics is year-round. We have

winter, spring, summer, and fall games. Oh, Daniel sent this to him. So yeah, I know who Daniel has too. He sent me this message. That's really cool. Somebody suggested for the fall games, leaf jumping, pile of leaves, got to be one of the games.

Or leaf raking. You can wear your jackets. What is leaf? What is leaf jumping? Jumping into the pile? Yeah. But what's the competition? Just who can do it the most?

Maybe, yeah, I don't know. creative, like slam dunk contest. I think leaf raking and putting it into a bag. That's a, you have a challenge. This is like what my dad used to do to me when I was a kid. All right, let's see who can clean up the room the fast. Let's all go. And then, you know, and then I would try to do it real fast.

But really, it's just chores. Oh, yeah. You just like gamify it. Oh, we go, clean up your room or you're not going to get any treats or you'll get a spanking. Or that's what we do. It's the same thing. Yeah. Ours is punishment.

Lying. What's, yeah, not doing it, but saying it. The, what's some of the special Olympics? Are you doing different events? Winter, spring, summer, and fall? Come on, Daniel. Give us some details, bud. Yeah, I don't know that the events are different.

I appreciated the brevity. Yeah. I want some details. Yeah, he was an hour and a half. Yeah. I think the events are the same. I think they just hold it four times a year. Oh, okay.

In a bunch of different locations. But is it? But they have winter and summer? And spring and fall. But I'm saying, though, we have winter and summer. Oh, I see what you're saying. The different events. I don't know.

I have to look into it. Yeah. Let us know, Daniel. We have a computer right here. Nah, let us know. Yeah, we don't care that much. Olympics in general. Jamie Moran, I once saw someone propose the Olympics be more like the draft or jury duty

where you're called upon to represent your country in the various sports. Oh, I like this. And while I love the Summer Olympics, I do think watching everyday average people with no experience whatsoever compete in things like gymnastics, swimming, track and field, etc. would be very entertaining. Imagine your friend getting drafted to run hurdles. Imagine your friend getting drafted to break their neck in gymnastics. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, she's fine and you're not. This is what I heard. I like this idea, actually. But I saw some tweet where they were like, for the Olympics, we should always get a regular person to do the event first. So then we can be impressed by how. As a control. Yeah.

Yeah. Because when you just see people do it, you go, well, you're competing against. the best of all these countries. So if you watch a basketball game, we've all shot a basketball into it. We understand how good they are. Yeah. But a lot of these events that we don't have a lot of experience with. I mean, we know that they're good because they're in the Olympics, but I have no reference for it. So we should get... But send Dusty out there to Bob Sled one time. Yeah. And I go, oh, okay. So Jamie's idea should be to draft that person. Gymnastics, though, when you're on like the bars, it's like, it's pretty obvious. That's true. How do.

good that is. All that stuff. I'll give you that. But running and track and field and throwing the shot put, it's like, yeah, let us see what a average person would do. I hate the harp on curling too. I think people beat up on curling every Olympics. But yeah, just get me and Brian out there as a team. Just just have us do it. And then you'll be like, oh, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I agree, Jamie. I would stop sweeping mid-sweep. I'm tired, guys. It's just going to go where it's going to go. I think this is a great idea. There was a reality show called Average Joe's. It was a dating show that I watched in the early 2000s.

The only dating reality show ever watched. But it was they had these, it was like regular guys, the average Joe's. And then a model was the girl, basically. And then so she's picking them, she's whittling them down. And like halfway through the show, there's only like five guys left. And then a twist is they bring five model guys in to, you know, so now she has to pick between the two of these. And what would she do? And then she picked the model.

Was there a show? I don't remember what it was called where they led these women to believe that a guy was like a millionaire. Yes. And then at the end, he wasn't. Yes. What show was that? It's all about that same time where reality shows were just, I can't remember the name of it. it was something

I don't I don't remember but yes there was one and in the one that I watched the guy and at the end after she picked the model guy they had one more

season or one more show and there was a reveal and she revealed that she used to date Fabio and then the guy broke up with her because she used to date Fabio so I watched the whole show

about a girl trying to date an average guy. Yeah. And then she picked a not average guy and then he broke up with her and nobody really went on a date. And I was like, I'm done with that.

Yeah, yeah. A great one to watch baggage. You ever watch baggage with Jerry Springer? Oh, I have watched baggage. It is a super fun stupid shit. Yeah. But it's like a woman will come out. There's three dudes and they reveal a piece of baggage about themselves.

And then she eliminates one and then they reveal an even. bigger piece of baggage. And then at the very end, she picks a guy. The woman has to reveal a piece of baggage about herself, and then they decide. Yeah, I love that. I mean, that's a good show. I mean, Jerry Springer is so good. He looks like he could not care less about that show.

He looks like he's so over it the whole time. It's a lot of fun. That's a good idea. Y'all like reality shows? I mean, I hate them. I can tell you I'm watching traitors right now. I mean, that's just objectively good TV. Okay.

Traders is the best reality show in a long time. I like Restaurant Impossible with Robert Irvine. Stuff like that, I feel like it's different than like, I don't know, my wife's and all the real housewives, all that, the Bravo stuff. And I watch it with her if it's on. Hannah will watch TLC. She likes my 600 pound life and the, you know, 1,000 pound sisters.

She likes those. Just people going through stuff. And then the Mormon, whatever that, the, the, Mormon wives? All the wives, whatever that show was called. That might have been the name. All the wives. There's more than one.

All the wives. Well, there was one where. Secret Lives of Mormon Wives or something like that? Sister Wives. Sister Wives. Sister Wives is what she likes, yeah. So Average Joe, we learned a couple episodes ago that G.I. Joe was more than one person. It was, right?

Yeah, I thought G.I. Joe was a guy named G. G.I. Yeah, it was something. General Infantial. or something like that. Joe's. So is Joe the same? It's just,

what's up with the name Joe that it seems to have just this general, like is it the same thing? Like, these guys are GI Joe's. These guys are average Joe's. I think so. I think it's just an average name.

This guy's Joe Camel. Remember Joe the plumber? Remember that guy? Yeah. Yeah. But also there's Johnny Come Lately. I think it's just like a term for, just a run.

of the mill. A regular old guy. Okay. And the other thing I was going to ask, you mentioned the leaf jumping. The NBA slam dunk contest was last week. Oh, my God. What? Did you?

I mean, it was, the clips I saw were so funny. I feel like that was such a big deal when I was a kid in the 80s and 90s. But there's only so many ways you can dunk a basketball. I think we're running out of ways, man. I feel like now it's just running its course. Yeah. Unless you. All of sports just ran its course.

It's not quite a leap I'm willing to take with you yet, Dusty. But I want you to see the winning dunk from this year's. This is the winning dunk from this year's slam dunk competition. Okay. I mean, that's impressive in general. That's weak. But be the winning dunk, yeah. But they've just, what else can they do?

Now, here's the one that's been getting a lot of flack. This is Jackson Hayes on the Los Angeles Lake. This is the slam dunk competition. If you're listening, he just dunks it. I mean, it's just, you just ran up and dunked it. I don't know how else to describe it. Something that happens 50 times in every game. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I think all sports is really, we've done it all.

Let's invent some new sports. Well, the argument is that a lot of people are making, There are all these guys, like social media content creators that just dunk, and they're like just dunk guys. Yeah. And they're doing incredible stuff. There's a guy Mack McClung who is so good at this. And he didn't compete this year. And it's like, let's just stop trying to put actual basketball players in here.

Just, I mean, Mac McClung is an actual basketball player. But like, just put guys in that are going to dunk well. Or just kill this event entirely. because, I mean, this is like unwatchable stuff, you know. Well, like in golf, there's these guys who just do long drives. And that's all they focus on. So they can drive the ball 400 yards. Yeah.

I mean, that's a great comparison. It's like, if you're going to do a long drive competition, get those guys in there. Not these dudes. Guys, buying glasses. It used to feel way more complicated than ever needed to be. Aaron, you're a young guy. You haven't needed glasses yet. You'll get there.

I will soon, I'm sure. My body's deteriorating. Yeah. I, Dusty's wore glasses for a while. I've went back to wearing glasses more and more often because everything was overpriced. The styles felt outdated and somehow you needed a spreadsheet just to understand what you were buying. Right. Shopping online. How are you supposed to know if frames will look good on your face from just looking online?

Yeah. You can't. You can't. That's why I'm obsessed with Warby Parker. Obsessed. You've always said that. Yes. It's honestly a problem.

These guys are tired of hearing me talk about it, but I don't care. They completely changed the experience. Their virtual tri-on is a total game changer. You just point your phone camera and instantly see frames on your face in real time. I've tried other virtual trions that felt off, but Warby Parker's actually work. You can really tell how their glasses will look and fit. When it comes to quality for the price, they're unbeatable. Unbeatable.

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I wear it a fraction of the going price. Listen to this. Okay. If you remember anything, remember this? Be honest with us. Our listeners get 15% off plus free shipping when they buy two or more pair

of prescription glasses at Warbyparker.com slash Nate Land. That's 15% off when you buy two pair of glasses at W-A-R-B-Y-Parker.com slash NateLand. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them our show sent you. Greg Garcia. Oh.

So happy Brian mentioned me on your new podcast, and Aaron repeated Brian's rap insult about me. To be clear, though, I only had one show out of six that only lasted one season. It was the one you were on. Wow. Coincidence? Wow. Probably not. Sick burn.

That's sick. Yeah, sick burn. Thank you, Greg. Well, that is true. Thank you for putting us on that, Greg. Wow. Greg's very funny. He says that from Vietnam.

He's in Vietnam right now. Fighting a war. He is. Wow. Yeah, yeah, he is over there. Went straight from the cruise out to Asia for a bit. All right. So this week, I think we got some boxes to unbox. Okay.

Okay. Great. Does it matter who gets what? Oh, yeah. I'm going to give you the box this time. Okay. Let me open. I got a priority mailer. It's got cherry. It's pink and it has cherries on it. Okay. And now this is an item that has to do with our topic, which is coming.

I don't know. Do we say the topic? I don't know. I actually don't have to. Okay. Oh, look at this. FFA. Future Farmers of America right here. Whoa. That's, I mean, that's the kind of hat you like to do right there. Yeah, that is a good hat. Balance this out. I'd take this hat. I've got the official manual for the Future Farmers of America from 1952. Wow. I mean, this is Brian. Was this from your personal collection?

Oh, wow. No, but that's pretty cool. Yeah, that is cool. 1952. Wow. It's just got stuff this old's just got a smell to it. They might actually have good information in there. And I have some pendants awards, I guess, for, I'm guessing.

Are you got more? No. Oh, you're just breaking the box down? Sorry, guys. This is an award for poultry, the poultry award. Oh, there's something here on the back. The what? The poultry?

Poultry? Yeah, man, that's how you say the word poetry. But, yeah, poultry. How do you say it, Dusty? Poultry. Is that right? You're saying that word correctly. I'm just saying that's how you would say the word.

Oh, okay. I never say that word. Poultry? Poultry. Why not? I would just, was it chicken? I mean, I think it's bird meat. Yeah.

Chicken's all the bird meat. I eat, though. I think this one, my eyes really bad. I think this one says small, green FFA. So we've got all FFA stuff. You wouldn't eat turkey? Oh yeah, I do eat a little turkey. You wouldn't need a quail? I don't know. I would eat. Would you eat squaw? I would eat pigeon and dubs. You would? Yeah. Okay. So you didn't think about it? But I mean, in general, I'm just eating chicken and turkey. Okay. So there's no need to really have. There's no need to

really have another term for it. I'll just go directly to the source. You know what I mean? what do you having chicken you know you don't want to go what are you eating poultry what kind what if you raise poultry if i did you know maybe you know we'll revisit this you know during that time it's a great answer if i you know if i had you know but i'm thinking about getting chickens but i would just have chickens right i'm just saying i never say i never when i went at a restaurant i never go I'll have a soda, but I still agree with the idea of having a term soda to encompass all the different ones. But do you, that- But I'm only really drinking Diet Coke. But I call it all Coke. You got Coke?

Yeah, so do I, too, but I'm trying to, yeah. Yeah. But that's a regional thing. A lady in McMinville one time called him drinks. I overheard her. She goes, I don't drink, drinks. I actually like that. And I kind of know what she means. Yeah.

Yeah. I listened to the whole conversation. She was talking about Cokes. No, I don't drink drinks. But she goes, I don't drink, drinks. Well, all of this obviously is pretty related. Future Farmers of America. This is Future Farmers of America Week where they celebrate future farmers.

Were you in FFA? I was not. Were you? No. Aaron? No. I know nothing about it. Though I did go down a rabbit hole of watching the national, is there a national, what is it?

I guess tell us a little bit about it before. Oh, I don't know a whole lot about, well, FFA started like 100 years ago. But like what is it, future farmers of America? Well, I just think about the chapters at local high schools where they wear the jackets. Yeah, they're probably just training people to learn farming things so that they will always be farmers. Yeah, promotes and supports agricultural education. Okay. It became a nationwide organization in 1928.

I can't imagine it's that popular now. I guess it is, but I don't think people are doing a lot of family. That's why I went down a rabbit hole on TikTok randomly of them announcing the winners for the national FFA convention. Look how nuts these kids go. Yeah. The central region vice president. From the state of Nebraska, Claire Whipple. I bet Nebraska dominates.

I get fired up watching these kids. Who runs this, Bill Gates? All right. All right, sorry. He's the largest farm on it. I know, I know. That's really cool. You know, and Napoleon Dynamite, I think he was an FFA.

Oh, yeah. There's a great scene of, yeah, well, he does like the milk tasting competition. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, Aaron, let me ask you this. That could have been 4-H, too, remember five. You might have been right. Yeah. If, if, um, if, um, you had to go undercover as a farmer.

Okay. Or witness protection. Okay. Let's say that. And they were like, we give you, you can choose whatever type of farming you want to do. We give you a year. We'll train you. And then you got to go do that.

What would you choose? And, like, run it? You could be crops. It could be cattle. It could be dairy. I don't think anything with animals. I think I want to, I think I want to do food. Okay.

You got specific? I think I will. want to just get a big tractor and just ride around. But you got to, like, actually do it. I don't, though. Maybe you can raise, maybe you can raise hay. But you got to, you got to, like, you're undercover. You got to make people think you're really a farmer. But like I'm the type of farmer. I just kind of grow what I want. And I don't have to listen to people like you. Okay. You already got the attitude, though. I feel like you get the attitude. Got the hat. Yeah. What about you, Dusty? Well, I think I would do cattle. I mean, my dad already raises

his cows, so I would know a little bit about it going in, Black Angus cows. He raises him to eat. Does he have dairy? He sells them. He sells them. He sells them and goes, I don't care. I don't do anything. Do whatever you want with him. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It's a good way to do it. Yeah, just, you know, he has enough cows, and then they have babies, and he goes and sells the babies when they're old-off. That's what we do. Yeah. Do you develop personal relationships with these cows at all, or do you just think of them as? I mean, I probably would, because

But my friends and family who are real farmers, no. Okay. You can't. Because you have too many of them. He's had to feed a few. You know what? They're going to be killed to be slaughtered eventually. But you also care for them and want them to sell them.

They don't all get sold though, too. My dad has raised some with like a bottle. Like if their mom rejects them or whatever, he's raised them with a bottle. And like they do have a bit of a bond. And he won't sell that one. You know, he'll keep that one. And then that one will be one that has. You pick your favorite.

Yeah, that one will be one that has babies and, you know, he'll keep that one. But, I mean, what, does it eventually die? I don't know. Yeah, all things eventually. Yeah, I mean, eventually, yeah, maybe you sell it eventually. I mean, the bond wears off. I think you know what I meant in his care. My grandfather was a farmer.

My uncle was a farmer up until his 50s, and my dad farmed a little bit on the side. And then I've shared stories. I've helped in tobacco fields when I was little. I mean, I still helped. My family still has cattle. It's so fun to go feed them. Yeah. There's something very relaxing about it. Totally.

Yeah. I'm into it. Yeah. All right. Good talk, guys. So that's the podcast. Do you want me to disagree? No, just maybe chime in, add something. I'm reading some of the FFA. Well, we appreciate what you're bringing to the podcast, and we just, you know, there's no need to, you know.

All right, let me share what. I mean, I've talked to you about your tobacco forming, and I, I'm very interested in it. Let me share what farming. I'm less interested. I want you to teach me to grow tobacco so that I can raise my own. If you want to sing the FFA Fellowship song, I've got it in the 1952 manual right here. It's to the tune of jingle bells.

FFA, FFA, farmers. Farmers all the way. All the way. Full of fun. Everyone ready with a smile. Hey. FFA, FFA, FAA, FAA forward all the while. We are all good fellows. Now don't you like our style?

All right. That was a hit in 1952. Yeah. Those kids were probably getting picked on in 1950s. All right. Here's something you might be interested in here. Okay. We'll see.

Thousands of years ago that we had hunter gatherers. Right. And then we learned to grow crops. And then that's when people could start settling in one spot. And that's how cities and towns developed. Right. So, okay. Well, that's when we finally had the time to sit around and pursue interests and art and philosophy and all of these things.

You know? Yeah. I mean, I think, you know, farming stuff and hunter-gatherers have always existed, you know, kind of alongside of each other. but um what yeah but obviously we've learned over time how to grow stuff and i think we get better at it yeah sure think about i was thinking about this today milking a cow it's like who's the first person that gave that a shot yeah you did a bit about it yeah yeah yeah i got to do about that yeah on wet heat um but especially you said you loved brine yeah but but yeah i mean that well that's kind of my thing I was talking about it.

It's like, you know, I don't know if I said this. I know I went through various iterations of the joke, but how many animals did you go through before you settled on cows? You know? You tried a bunch. Yeah. But I think you see a calf drink out of there. And you go, let me go ahead.

Yeah, but a lot of cats are drinking out of their mom's milk too. I think they tried cat milk. I bet they did. Dogs milk, you know, goats milk is okay. Goat's milk's good. Yeah, yeah. Probably sheep milk. Sheep, yeah.

They're all clean animals, goats, sheep, sheep. cows. What makes them clean? Well, biblically clean. They chew the cud and they have the, they have the split hoof, I think. Chewing the cuds is a big thing because they have multiple stomachs filters it out. Oh, okay. Whereas like a pig just eats anything. Right, right. Anything. One stomach goes right in there. Humans eat anything. They say that, are we not clean animals? No. And they say, well, not for eating. Right. And they say pigs are the closest to human than any other animal. I dissected a pig fetus in high school.

Yeah. And it, I got to tell you, it looked pretty human. Yeah. Just laying it out on the table. It was like, it was unsettling. Even the pig eye is very human-like. And in the book, Animal Farm, they, you know, they become, the pigs become pretty human-like. So what is it about pigs that are so human-like?

They just look like it. Is that what you're meant? Like, well, inwardly, like their organs are very close to what human organs are. This might not be pretty trying to find it, but let me pull one up real quick. So don't look at me searching. And then the movie, what was that movie? It's an old kind of Southern movie, but they killed this guy. And then they cook him in a stew.

Fried Green Tomatoes was the name of the movie. And, you know, and then they serve the stew to people. And it's that guy. Yeah. That's what we dissected in high school. Mm. Yeah. Doesn't it just look like a baby?

Very close. Yeah. And so, because they say, cannibals say. All right, we won't put that in the episode. That humans taste like pork. Who says that? Cannibals.

They asked them? Yeah. And it says it tastes like pork. Yeah. Sounds pretty good. Mm. So, yeah, if you're ever in a cannibal situation, you'll probably have some pulled human sandwich.

If we're in a animal sandwich. If we're in a cat. If I'm ever in a cannibal situation, I'm gone. I'm getting killed by everybody else. You think? 100%. I think you have to. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Like if the three of us, if the three of us... Without taking shots at you. Do you think it's... It's not even taking a shot. It's a biological reality. You think it's heavier people or more fit people that you want to... No. You think fit the meat's too tough?

I think you want a little flavor. You think you want a guy that's been loafing around, learning how to use the Roku remote? I think you're just... I think if you're in that dire situation, you're going for volume. Yeah, you're like, just don't eat his thumbs. That's tough. You really want to go for the calves on this guy.

I got unbelievable calves. Yeah. So you're a kind of guy we want to hang out with if we're around cannibals. No, I'm saying. I'm going to be honest with it. I think if I'm in that... that situation, I'm going to try to fast until food arrives. Well, I think that's everybody's first choice.

No, I think I... We're not eating each other day one. I think so. I think Aaron's like, did someone die in this plane wreck? I'm full, but I can go for a snack. I think day one. I'm riding out for a while. Yeah, dude, that's at least two days.

That's obviously the goal, man. I think I'd last, I last longer than you. You think? 100%. I don't think so. What do you mean? Because we're just talking about willpower. Yeah.

But biologically, I will last longer than you. Oh, okay. Because I got reserves. Do we have coffee? I think they would be like, all right, we got this body, and we got some bacon. And Dusty be like, give me the body. I'm going not eating. Okay.

Well, that's... That's just such a funny. Yeah, like obviously. Bold statement. We're going to not eat until you're going to die unless you eat something. I think I'm dying. You would just starve yourself to death. I would like to think so.

Okay. I'd try eating some leaves or something. Do you ever watch Alone on Netflix? No. Great episode. Season 9. They're in rural, they're in the middle of nowhere, Canada. And there's one guy whose strategy was, let me just get as fat as possible before I go out there.

That way, I just don't have to eat as long as every. terrible strategy. I mean, he almost won. He came in second place. Okay. And then he was just so hungry by the end of it. Couldn't catch anything. He just cut tree bark off a tree and tried to make a soup out of it.

He tried to make tree bark soup because there's like trace amounts of nutrients in the tree bark. He tried to make a soup out of it. And he took one spoonful and he was like, I'm done, dude. What am I doing? I'm eating wood. I'm eating wood soup. And they tapped out and he lost. So when the settlers came here,

Plymouth Rocks. It's tough to land a story on this podcast. Yeah, I'm sorry. I was thinking about my notes. You got things to get to. I like that you watch nine seasons of that show. No, no, I've only just seen season. I was thinking that too.

I've seen plenty of shows. I've seen all nine seasons of it. But yeah, just season nine was out on Netflix. Because what they say about fasting is that a lot of people think, all right, I'm going to be fasting tomorrow. So I'm going to eat a ton of food today. And they say that's the wrong strategy because you're expanding your stomach. It's really better to go into a fast by kind of eating less and less as you go along.

But we're not talking about a fast where I just don't eat for a day. Like this guy was going, I'm going to be in the cold and I'm not going to have any caloric intake for months potentially. Yeah. Are they allowed to catch food? Oh, yeah. They can eat whatever they get. What do they give? Do they give them supplies and stuff?

You get, I think, 10 items you get to take with you. So a lot of it is. Are you near water? You are near water. What would you? I would try to get fish in line in a hook. They had some regulations about that. But yeah, everybody tried to fish.

It was just a particularly hard area to catch fish. One guy built a boat and tried to go out there and catch fish that way. Couldn't do it, though. He built the boat, but he ended up getting pulled for a medical check. They were like, you're dying. So they had to get him out of there. That feels like that. You would love the show.

It feels like it's rigged. When you get pulled, you go, no, I'm not dying. Don't pull me. You would see this guy and go, They should have pulled him a long time. He looked brutal up there, yeah. And they lose so much weight. That's why you're losing so much weight out there that the guy was like, if I just start at the highest, I got more weight to lose before it's a problem.

Yeah. You know, it was a good strategy. Yeah. Who won, though? A different guy. Yeah. A fitter guy. A guy, a pretty good shape who got a big game kill and then made jerky from it that lasted a long time.

How do you make jerky out in the wild? He built a smoke out. out from scratch. Wow. You would love this show. I can't believe if you haven't watched it. How did he kill it?

Shot it with a weapon. Oh, so they do have... You get a certain amount of items. I see. Yeah. If us three did it, who would be the most successful? I mean,

I guess Dusty. I mean, who knows? I mean, Brian's got some secret tobacco farming jeans in it. Yeah, that's true. I think I'd be out after one day, but... I'd be out of there.

Well, you got to, you know, you got to, I mean, I don't know, the cold is hard for me. Yeah. It's hard. I don't deal with a cold well. You know, I do talk a lot about what it would be like to be homeless. And I have a bit of a strategy. What's the strategy? Well, I think what I would try to do if I were homeless, what I would, I would, I would panhandle to get a hammer.

And then I would go to the back of like lows and Home Depot stores and I would collect pallets. and then I would take those into the woods, take the pallets apart with the hammer, then reuse the nails to build myself a bit of a clubhouse in the tree so I could get off the ground. That'd be the first strategy, so I had a good place to sleep. Until the government finds it and tears it down. Well, yeah, of course. That's why my next strategy that I've been creating would be kind of an underground, dig a thing out. You need a little shovel.

I'm just reading some more FFA chance. These are really good. I bet they are. Raspberries, huckleberries, turnips, squash, future farmers, we are, by gosh. That was a really good. I love them. Let her snow, any old day. We're always happy.

We're full of pluck. Future farmers, letter buck. I didn't know where that was going. I mean, too. I was like looking at the time. I'm like, mark that. Yeah, I'm glad I finished that one. Full plop.

You know, Tara Lee Kobol, Yeah. Yeah. Lepinski, the season of traders. Cobble. Cobble. Cobble.

She was on your podcast. Yeah. With Connor Larson. And, uh, I'm just trying to plug him every two seconds like you did. She came to, this guy was literally talking about Connor.

And I go, he does a show with me. Oh, okay, here we go. Here we go. Oh, it's all about Connor. If you're listening, we're talking about Connor Larson,

who's going to be with me in Minneapolis at the end of March. Went club At a Cisphus Brewing Company Tara Came to your show She came to my show in Dallas Didn't come to yours

But that's all right I'm sure she was busy Don't take it personal But she was on your podcast She said she fasted for 40 days Yeah Which is hard to fathom Yeah

And said that she was sad when it ended because she didn't want it to stop. Like, that's crazy. Well, every facet I've done, I've never done one anywhere close to that. What's the longest you've done? Two and a half days. Okay. I mean, that's a fair amount of time.

But the moment I eat, I go, I could have done longer. I should have done longer. What do you usually break fast with? I try to just do fruit. Oh, well, that's why. Well, you want to ease back into eating. I love fruit. I mean, I love fruit, too.

I like fruit too. We ease into it. You get a sandwich or something. Yeah. Well, that's, you know, you don't want to go right in. I like to bite into a kiwi after two and a half days. I mean, get some meat and cheese, brother. Well, you know, that comes eventually.

But you want to ease into it. All right. Yeah. But 40 days, yeah. She said she did 40 days and then ate a pizza. Yeah. She said that was a bad move. Yeah.

The whole pizza? I don't know. Yeah. Look, last night after my show, it was snowing. It was not easy to. get to anywhere. I could have obviously done DoorDash or something in my hotel, but, but I'm like, I'm just not going to eat tonight. And so I'd ate before my show, like five o'clock, didn't eat. And I was hungry a little bit. But when I went to bed, I felt so much better, you know,

and when I woke up this morning, I was no more hungry than I would have been if I ate a meal at midnight. Right. So just, well, the late night meal is always a mistake. But sometimes you're like, let's make a mistake. You got adrenaline going after. the show and you want to eat. That's why I like cigars. And I'm not even trying to, that is why I like them. Because after a show, it's like, I'm not going to just go right to sleep. And eating feels like the worst move. Well, sometimes I like a late night diner with friends, other comics and stuff. That can be really fun. Yeah. But the meal, though, is the mistake. But you're not, just getting, ah, nah, it's good. You're eating. Yeah. You're not going in,

you're not going in there. I'm going to wobble. I'm an all-star breakfast, man. I'm getting hash brown bowl. Yeah. I'm getting it. Are they doing hash brown bowls now? Yeah, that's real good. Yeah. A little hot sauce in there.

So when the first settlers came here, they didn't know how to grow a lot of the stuff. Native Americans taught them how to grow maize, which is corn. A maze, maze, maze. And they had a, Dusty, I think you like this. The Native Americans got a thing called the Three Sisters. You ever heard of this? I think so, but. It's where you plant three types of crop.

all together and they all assist with the other one and helping them grow. Yeah. So they did climbing beans, which, which, uh, not exactly sure what that is, but they're, it'd be like, yeah, beans that run up a trellis or something like that. They would, they would put it with maze. So you wouldn't need poles. They would just go up the stalks of the, of the corn. And then they would plant squash and that, which is low on the ground, that would block

the sunlight and help prevent weeds. A little cover crop And then you got And then the beans also help fix the nitrogen I think That's right That's right The beans fix the nitrogen

They didn't call it nitrogen back then I bet Oh I don't know But you are correct Yeah They all helped each other What did they think they were gonna do When they came over

The settlers? They had their own stuff But they didn't know the You know the ground I don't know I think the winter Was a little harsh too Yeah what was the plant

They planted barley and peas From England And they thought was going to be enough to just do that? Well, I don't know. Just a whole society built on peas? I mean, I think it was a little bit like... I think things just got complicated.

Were they doing cattle farming? Well, I was going to say, the English sellers did, but Spanish brought cattle here. There were no cattle. Horses. I think they brought horses, yeah. So the Native Americans didn't have horses until they showed up? I don't think so.

Horses are from Spain. I think all American, all wild horses all came from Spain. So basically they're all livestock. Because they said cattle and goats, all that came from Spain as well. I guess so. Huh. That's interesting. I just thought wild horses always been here, Native Americans rode around on them.

I mean, maybe the... Not we, but they got brought over. I'm probably glad we showed up then. They could have came over earlier, like, you know, South America, Mexico, something like that. And they've had, and so they worked their way in here that way. I don't know. I don't know the dates, but that is what they say. The Spanish brought over the horses.

Yeah. Spanish were the original cowboys. Yeah. So then in the early 1900s, so they used to do plowing by literally, you know, putting a plow behind an oxen or a horse or something like that. Then they started building machinery. And then John Deere invented a tractor that changed the game. Mm-hmm.

John Deere. You ever had a John Deer tractor? No, my dream is to have a yard big enough where I can justify it. Mm-hmm. But I've ridden on it, John Deer. What kind of more are you got? I have a battery-operated... Oh, I forgot about this.

Lawnmower. Oh, I wanted to talk about this, by the way. Oh, God. Because everybody was commenting, do we call them battery-operated cars, electric cars? And this is what I think. And I don't know what your lawnmower is. But when I have a battery... It's a re-obey?

When I have a, right, LB? Yeah. When I have a battery operated drill, it's a battery that I remove and then put into a charger, which is why I call it battery operated. When it's electric, I feel like you charge it right in like a car. You don't take the battery out and charge the battery. You plug the car in. I take the battery out of this long-off.

So that's what I think the difference. Battery-powered means you charge the battery, then plug it in. Electric is that that thing goes right into the outlet. Okay. That's what I thought. That is interesting. I mean, the vast majority of the comments were blasting me for saying, you know, they're like, oh, so you can think electric cars, you know, just run around on plugs. And I would just say, if you're still posting that comment seven days later, yeah, into the 1,000th, then that's on you. Yeah. But that's my distinction. I've never had a electric lawnmower, but I have had a wheat eater that had a cord. And I've also had a weed eater that had a battery that you hung up on the wall and charged it.

Yeah. So I guess I just solved that as the distinction. I feel like if you take the battery out of the thing and charge it separately, then it's battery powered. Yeah. If you plug it in like an electric car, it's electric. Okay. That's my distinction. It doesn't matter?

No, it doesn't matter. No. So have you ever had a tractor, Dusty? Well, I have a zero turn. I do have a John Deere zero turn. turn. And, but I, which I don't think a zero turn counts as a tractor because I think a tractor means the engine has to be in front, but I have driven tractors. My dad has tractors. John Deere, Massey Ferguson, Cabota. Those are the top three sellers. Yeah. John Deere, 50% of all tractors

is said, Cabota second, Massey Ferguson third. Yeah. I feel like when I grew up, it was Massey Ferguson's the most. Red. Yeah, my dad's first tractor was a Massey Ferguson. Yeah. This episode, is brought to you by IQ Bar, our exclusive snack, hydration, and coffee sponsor. Three big categories. That is big. That is big. That's how much we believe in what they do. They're protein bars, their IQ mix, hydration mixes, and IQ Joe mushroom coffees are the

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Text Nate to 64,000. That's Nate to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply C terms for details. So farms are decreasing across the United States. Yeah, they're there. I mean, they're targeted for sure. I'm not out of business. Now they're becoming data centers.

Is that why Bill Gates is buying all the farmland? Well, that's some... Also, I think he makes McDonald's fries. I think he grows the potatoes that make McDonald's guys. That is true. And probably they want these data centers, which is why you don't hear a lot of talk about climate change these days. We're here for fun right from the start,

this future farmer gang. Just laugh and sing with all your heart. Put over with a bang. That's pretty good. Thanks, man. That's called fun song. And it was. To the tune of Ald Lang Sign.

Yeah. Do they have any songs that are not to the tune of another? Well, those are the only ones I'm singing because I don't know how to sing, you know, hail the FFA. Yeah. I don't know the rhythm of that one. Well, just give a shot. Yeah, try it. Sing, oh, sing a song of action.

Sing the song of FFA. Oh, hail. the future farmers. Okay. All right. I can listen to it all day. Yeah, I'd like to hear you take a stab with some of these. Let's see.

Aaron, have you ever thought about why baseball's the farm system? Hail, hail, hail, the gang's all here. Never mind the weather. Here we are, here we get together. Hail, hail, hail, the gang's all here. Let the meeting start right now. Let the meeting start right now, guys. Hail, hail.

You can rap. Yeah. What song is that? What was that called? That one's called, Hail, Hail, Hail, The Gang's All Here. Titles, almost as long as the song is. Hail, hail, hail, the gang's all here. Never mind, the weather.

Here we get together. Hail, hail, the gang's all here. Let the meeting start right now. I didn't rhyme. No, I don't need to rhyme. We're starting the meeting, you know? The gang's all here. Why is it called the farm system?

Because they're cultivating and growing players. That's right. Yeah. Never really thought about it. Mm-hmm. It's kind of fun. Did you ever play FarmVille? I never played FarmVille.

I remember when that was, that was, everybody was playing it. Were you into it? No. You sure? I mean, you were right in the sweet spot. Was I? Yeah. It was like 40.

I know. You weren't sending out requests for people to. I stopped after Atari. I never played FarmVill either. But I did get a lot of requests for people. Oh, home, oh, give me a home. I don't know how this goes. Home on the range.

Home, home on the range. Where the deer in the antelope play. Oh, give me a home where the buffalo roam. Where the deer in the antelope play. Oh, that's just old home. That's just the actual. Where seldom is heard a discouraging word. That's definitely not this podcast.

How do you not know the tune? In the sky, I don't have no idea. Where seldom is heard. discouraging word and the sky and the skies are not cloudy all day yeah home home on the range yeah that's a great song the more we this a nursery rhyme the more we get together together together oh i know this from miss rachel more we get together the happier will be for your friends are my friends and my friends are your friends, the more we get together,

the happier we'll be. All right, that's enough. But we could maybe get some royalties from doing children songs. Maybe. Should we do our own Miss Rachel type videos? Yeah, yeah. Mr. Rick.

Hi, friends. Yeah. Farm Aid was a concert that was Willie Nelson Willie Nelson John Mellencamp, Neil Young, benefited farmers 80,000 people at the first one Where was it? Champaign, Illinois.

Champagne. Memorial Stadium. They raised $9 million. And the founders originally thought they had solved the problem of farmers. Oh, they were like, we're good now. Yeah, we're good. And they later admitted, like, we, underestimated just how big of a problem it is, these farmers, you know, keeping their farms.

So now they do it. This is the 40th year coming up. That's why I really think that we all should be able to live under some system where we all have our own little farms. We all kind of raise their own food for our families and we don't have to pay property tax and we all raise our own little family farms. And then some big farmer like that is not responsible to raise all of our food. Who gives you the small family farm? Well, I mean, you got to get it. Well, he said, let's start all over. So blow it up.

But even if you rent, you know, like you grow in your, in your yard instead of just having a lawn. And that's what I've always said. Instead of having all these ornamental trees, fruit trees. Okay. When the first sellers came here, everybody grew their own food. They had to. Yeah. How else could you eat?

And then if you do the three sisters like he's talking about, then, you know, you're. If you're just tuning in, that was a reference to planning that I mentioned earlier in the show. You're like, what was Brian's time? Come on, guys. Come on. Well, it seems like it's a good time for Dusty Slay's top five country songs about farming. You know what? Do you actually have this?

Well, I did put a list together, but I didn't, I should have looked at it again today. I didn't, I don't, I did put a list together. I want you to think that. I didn't, but I should have listened to it on the way here. I'd like to hear it. Okay, so this is what I'm going to do. I got, what is this? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.

I got nine songs. Why don't we do top five? We're going to do top five, okay? So I'm going to go there. I'm going to start number five. I'm going to go down on the farm by Tim McGraw. I heard it on the radio today. Yeah, not actually about farming, just about partying on the farm.

What station do you listen to? I listen to 106.7. They play 90s country. And I love it. Okay. You know that song? No. Okay.

So that's number five. That's a good song. And then I'm going to go number four, good directions by Billy Currington. A fun one. Not actually about farming, but the song is a result of the farming they had done. He was selling turnips on a flatbed truck. So had they not grown the turnips? None of this would have taken place.

Okay. There's no way he's getting the girl in that song, by the way. You know, it's hard to say. But, yeah. All right, number three, I'm going to go, I'm going to go, poor old dirt farmer by Levin Helm. Sounds like a hoot.

That's a good one. That's a good one. Well, these are songs about farms. Is that like a dance song? But that's not country, is it? Leave on Helm, I mean, the band, I mean, it's debatable if it's country. But I got a, I mean, if you hear the song, you go, this is a country song.

All right. And then I'm going to go, number two, the boy who wouldn't hoe corn by Allison Krause and Union Station. Okay. Very good. Bluegrassy of a tune. Dan Timminsky. And then I'm going to go, number one, disappearing farmer by John Anderson. Okay.

What is that one about? Well, it's about his, you know, family farm being lost to the government. I did a farm made in 1986. Yeah. About his family farm going away? Yeah, losing it to the government. Probably to taxes. What about honorable mention high cotton by Alabama?

That's a good one. You know, I find it very interesting growing up, you guys grew up in Alabama. I grew up here in middle Tennessee. Cotton is such a big product down in Alabama. And if I drive down I-65, I see cotton-filled. all over. There's none here in Middle Tennessee. Wow.

I think West Tennessee has some cotton fields, but none here that I know of in Middle Tennessee. And tobacco is almost the opposite growing up. Tobacco everywhere here, I don't think you start going on. I don't think I remember seeing tobacco anywhere, but I did see cotton everywhere growing up. Yeah, that's very interesting. Yeah. Maybe it's the type of soil. Especially where my dad lives, like we were way out in the country.

We rode our four-wheelers down these back roads. Yeah. I mean, it'd just be cotton fields. Right. When you, and the way the wind would blow them and they had, you could see the little white of the cotton in there, it would almost look like a pond. Like a pond with a glistening sun. Now, um. It's pretty poetic.

Yeah. It is nice. It would look like that. Is that from a song? Now I would just notice that myself. Wow. Yeah. Back when there was no social media and I just had to be out there living my life.

And you're writing poetry and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I did write a little poetry. Yeah. Yeah. Aaron, would you mind Googling how you win these awards? How do you win what?

These FFA Awards. FFA Poultry Award. Yeah. That's the thing about being bored that we're all missing now. We're not bored because we're able to stare at our phones. Like you're talking about, I love my phone. I like standing in line at the grocery store. I get to look at my phone.

But before that, you were bored. So you were thinking. I used to carry a notepad and I would write stuff down. And I was always writing my thoughts down. You were getting bored. You were drawing pictures. You're being creative. Yeah.

Before I started comedy, I was searching for creative outlets. I would write poems. But now it's all just trying to write a joke. My whole life's trying to write a joke. Yeah, but because of your phone, you don't even free your mind up to do that, right? Yeah. I mean, I often write jokes when I'm in the shower or doing something like going in the yard or something where it forces your brain to just, you know, think about something else.

So to win the Poultry Award involves, they test your skills in USDA standards for egg and meat grading, as well as carcass evaluation. Carkas. Dead? Yeah. Yeah, you're looking at dead birds and evaluating them. Drinking the milk going, like Napoleon Dautomite, going, this cow got into an onion patch. You know that there's in that, in the movie, do you remember the guy, the old redneck guy? And he's like, you know, I'm a bad, what's something, by and what? They just, that was not scripted.

They just let the cameras run and the guy was talking. Yeah, right? That is bad. Found a couple of Shoshani arrowheads. Yes, what he said down on the creek going. Yeah, yeah. And that was just them letting it roll. And should we do this one too?

One is here. We've got these little pins here. And this one is for Small Grain. Small Grain Award for the FFA. So somebody worked really hard for these. This is from the Illinois Foundation. the Illinois FFA. So somebody worked hard for this.

Are your kids in FFA? No, but they have it at their school. In Wilson County. Yeah. So it's like a program at the school. Yeah, they have Lipsoc at Wilson Central High School. What about the Ho FFA? Can you look that up?

The Ho FFA? H-O-E. How? Well, I think Howe doesn't have an E at the end. Maybe it's H-A. I mean, I'm in Texas. Steve Howe. Yeah, it's Ho, Texas.

Or Hal Texas. And they're still active. Still, look at that. That girl's got her a pig. That's right. They're still. The girl's whipping that pig. I was, okay.

Dusty, would you? They had a good potluck this year. If you were a farmer, would you ever race pigs? Well, I think you can, like, pigs are, like, good for, like, if you got, like, scraps and stuff, you can throw out to the pig. And they can. don't think so. You'd have one as a pet? No.

But you would never, I'm not saying you would eat it, but you would never raise them to sell. I mean, I guess you could do that. I mean, my grandfather was a pig farmer. I guess I'm getting that. Would you feel morally wrong to do that since you don't eat pork? Yeah, probably so. Yeah. But tobacco, that's fine.

I don't, yeah, I don't have any moral problems with tobacco. Yeah. I mean, cigarettes are trash. It's a clean. But tobacco, cigarettes are trash. It's a clean crop. But tobacco itself is a clean product. It's okay, yeah.

Yeah. All right. We did it. That's it. We learned a lot. But do listen to those songs, though. Yeah, go check out that list. Those are really good country songs.

Go check out the list. Well, can I give you the others on my list? I had country trash by Johnny Cash, cowpoke by Coulter Wall, where the green grass grows by Tim McGraw, and old hippie by the Bellamy brothers. He just talks about he's gardening. He's getting a little gardening by the fence. Old hippie is one of my favorites. And I really relate to that guy. And he says he's consuming what he's growing nowadays in self-defense.

He's an old hippie and he don't know what to do. There's more singing on this. Hail, hail, the FFA. All right. All right. Is that it? That's it, guys. All right.

This, I'm off this week. week. So I think my next public shows are March 19th through 22nd. Awesome. I'm on the road with Johnny W. and Ed Wiley. Johnny's got a little tour he's doing. So we're in three different locations in Florida and one in Gatson, Alabama. Awesome. Okay. Well, I'll be in Poughkeepsie this weekend in Albany, New York. And then next weekend I'll be in Billings and Butte, Montana.

So check those out. Beautiful. Nice. March 5th through 7th, Edmonton, Alberta, the comics trip, come out and see me. And then the following week, a great club, comedy off Broadway and Lexington, Kentucky. That's how I'm going to start off March. So coming out and see.

This is Aaron Weber, by the way. Coming out and see me. All right. So last week, we were talking about the Olympics. We asked people to submit what would be your everyday Olympic sport. and here's one of the responses. Public thinkers. My name is Maggie.

You guys. I love you so much. Breakfast. You are so funny and so endearing. Oh, and also hilarious. And you have such a great laugh. And of course, Dusty,

absolutely hilarious. And we're totally on the same thing to write everything. Okay, so for everyday Olympics, for everyday people, this is what I propose. It has to do with driving. Okay. So,

everyday things that everybody should know how to do, but you should know how to do it well. So one would be like a zipper merge. Another would be Zipmerge. Three way turns out getting in everybody else's lane. And even things like the proper way when somebody lets you in.

Love you guys so much. That should be. Yeah, we should just, I mean, integrate all that into like the driver test. Yeah. We don't need to make this an Olympic. Well, this lady gets it. And I appreciate it.

I say more and more of these videos because I think you guys will finally go, oh, maybe Dusty. is on to something here. Yeah. I think we're making sure Dusty sees more of them just to keep them engaged. Yeah.

You know, you got to feed the beast every now. To submit them, how do you submit these? It'll be in the link will be in the episode of description. I was told a zipper merge, you're supposed to get all the way to the end. That's the most efficient way to merge. You don't merge until you get to the very end of it. Yeah, exactly. People like, they're like, it is a hundred yards of lane and they're like, I got to get in right now. Yeah, you got to go all the way to the end.

Fill the lanes. Right, right. Fill the lanes, people. So the description on YouTube. I would say when the episode comes out, there'll be a link in the show description. If you have a great story about your local buffet chapter or an experience. Or a farming story. Yeah.

Don't email them to me. That's where I'm getting at. Yeah. All right. That is the show. Thank you very much, everybody. and we're having a good time. Boom.