The Nateland Podcast - #40 Middle Ages

Episode Date: March 31, 2021

On this week's podcast, Nate, Aaron, and Brian take a trip back to Medieval Times to learn about the Middle Ages. The guys discuss famous court jesters, learn about unusual medical treatments, and discuss well known phrases that originated from the Middle Ages.    Co-hosts: Brian Bates ( https://www.instagram.com/brianbatescomic) & Aaron Weber ( https://www.instagram.com/realaaronweber)   Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail]

Hello folks, welcome to Nateland. Once again, we love having you. Yeah, we're going to start off as usual. As you use usual. Is that right? How do you say it? As usual. Usual. I you use usual. Is that right? How do you say it? As usual. Usual.

I'm saying it wrong. Usual. Am I saying it right now? Now I've thought about it too much. And now I'll never. Usual. Usual. How about like we always do?

Like we always do. Just avoid it. All right. Like we. Hello, folks. Like we always do. I don't understand. Whoa, folks. Hello, folks, like we always do. I don't understand. Whoa, folks. Hello.

Goodbye. Hello. Goodbye. What does she say in Seinfeld? She says it in Bizarro World. Oh, up is down. Up is down. It is bad.

Goodbye. Bad bye. Bad bye. Yeah. Wouldn't it be bad bye? Yeah. All right. First up, Joshua Lott.

I just want to tell you guys how grateful my friends and I are for this show. We've all been friends since sixth grade and are still in a group chat and generally have the same sense of humor. You three hit all of our interests as far as talking about anything and everything. Thanks for being a breath of fresh air. Your podcast has helped me through some dark times. My friend Daniel Begno listens to you guys on his way to chemo treatment every few weeks, and it brings a little added happiness to his day. Please give him a shout-out so we can hear his name on here.

Daniel Begno. Daniel, we could be saying it wrong. I think it's Begno. Begno? Yeah. We hope it's Begno. It might be B-no because it's B-E-Gno Yeah We hope it's Begno Might be B-no Because it's B-E-G-N-O

So what if it's just B-no I think I spelled it like that Now he's in a downer On the way to King He's like I just turned it off But Daniel just can't Because it's done

I've never liked this podcast And Joshua And Josh was like Dude you know I thought And now one of them Are out of the group chat I love that they've been friends Since sixth grade and they talk that much. That's my favorite thing for people to not, they just, you talk to the people you meet

young and you keep it rolling. Yeah. I love it. Zach Wright, dear Nate, Aaron, and Brumbledore. I was not expecting to love your podcast, but I do. It's hard to describe to friends, and it doesn't make sense. One guy reads Wikipedia while the other guys jump in with jokes and inaccurate facts. The third guy sits back and occasionally chimes in.

I don't think that's true. Also, the guy with jokes reads comments at the beginning, but he doesn't read good. On paper, that description doesn't read good on paper that description doesn't work but somehow in practice it does i learned absolutely nothing from this podcast in fact i think i've gotten dumber but it's just what i need keep up the good works guys uh yeah i that is very funny i was not expecting to love your podcast but i do be a very funny way to if you're going to first date you date and you tell a girl, your pictures look horrible,

but I'll be honest with you, not that bad. When I see you in person, you look all right. Yeah, I like all that. I'm fine with all that stuff. Yeah, he's right on with all of it. He's right on. None of this makes sense.

Every time we post a clip on Twitter, I'm just afraid they're going to put a disclaimer saying none of this stuff. None of this is fact check. It's fact. It makes sense. We're're going to put a disclaimer saying none of this stuff. None of this is fact check. It makes sense. We're just going to get banned. We read it on Wikipedia

where everybody gets to put their voice in. Laman Salah. Laman. Laman Salah? He'd turn around. Easily. Maybe she would. Please do a live Q& q a maybe substitute for the comment

reading and if it's not too much trouble notify me so i won't miss it thanks let me and we will be sure to get on it with texting give me you'll be the first one to know give a heads up a live q a that would not be bad it'd. Yeah, we do just take real questions. I'm just describing what live Q&A means in case someone's at home going, what does that mean? So take questions live. And answers. And answers.

That's the A part. Oh. I thought it was questions and ask. Kevin G. Doesn't want to give too much up. The dynamics of the trio feels feels like an order for nate to hang out with his buddy aaron his parents made him bring his little brother bottomless mimosa bates who every now and then makes his way into the conversation

can't get enough of this educational podcast we are on the educational podcast yeah yeah that's hilarious some people one person thought brian was nate's dad and kevin g says bates is like your little brother how does that make you feel it's a benjamin button situation so we've we've we're we're about to make that pass we're about to make the pass where it's gonna start making sense right it's real close i was talking to nate last night we were talking about the podcast and he's like you know I'm the guy that people say doesn't know how to read and you're the old guy and Aaron's the fat guy

wait a second you're the one saying that about us I don't say that that's what people are picking up from the podcast I'm not saying it you think I'm saying that you're the I don't know

you're the old guy That's factual That's the only factual thing we have On this podcast I don't know how to read And I think we know where the rest goes But it kind of sounded like Michael Scott When he went to that seminar

Where he The other branches How he remembers people's names. Yeah. Noel. Yeah. James Miller. Is Brian the only one of you three that does any show prep?

Nate strolls in there and can hardly remember to open his own show with hello folks. And every time Nate states what episode he is recording, he is wrong. Aaron, on the other hand, reminds me of a friend of mine in high school who was always high and would just start laughing at something and then not tell anyone what was so funny. The only show prep that Aaron does is trying to figure out what hat to wear. They always say you're only as good as the people you surround yourself with, and this is a shining example of that because if Brian ever takes a week off, then nate and aaron are in big trouble boom thank you james it's your favorite

comment you've ever gotten it is yeah yeah i don't do the point of this is i don't i don't want to do show prep for this uh you know what i bring to the table is the multiple Netflix specials and stuff like that. So I thought that was understood of just, you know. But I guess that's not enough. I guess I got to bring a little bit more to that. Why are you here, James? You here because of Brian? You saw him at Zany's? I wish.

I mean, James Miller is – I bet James Miller has got to be older than you. I love him in my head that's what I picture like it feels like a defending why y'all messing with that young guy

right there no James is right Brian does do all the work all the set up of all the information and Aaron does

it's not much the hat he does bring a hat yep that's fun now a hat. Yep. That's fun. Now a hat of a different podcast. I didn't even think about that. What is it?

Yeah, you didn't think? Water Champ, Segura's podcast. It's his favorite podcast. James Frederick. Has Bill Gates been listening to this podcast? He wants to dim the sun. Great work, folks. Yeah.

That's what he wants to do. Yeah, he's on board with it yeah if you're a billionaire and you uh can afford and do whatever you want yeah your ideas are going to get pretty wild right there you just go what if we dim the sun it's because it's a guy that's you know why don't we have a grocery store in my house and they're like oh we'll get one like i mean he could say that yeah i don't go to the grocery store can we do one in the house and like yeah of course that's you know if bill gates is listening to this the world is in trouble that's all i have to say what if he needs a break from being bill gates from curing polio and stuff yeah i just need an escape i mean

it's a lot you know it is probably a lot yeah just like yeah just yeah does he ever get any Probably a lot, yeah. Just want to tap out every now and then. Yeah, does he ever get any just moment to, you know, I mean, the world problems or, I mean, you know, you have that much money, you know. All right. I don't know, but he's probably not. Kate, C-A-T-E, Kate.

Could be Kate. I listened to a stand-up album where the comedian got annoyed at the audience for laughing during the setup of the joke. Do any of you get annoyed when the audience laughs at the wrong part? I don't get annoyed when they laugh at their own part. I always think that's pretty good that I got a laugh off of this part I wasn't expecting to get a laugh off.

So I'm excited about sometimes. The one thing I can tell is if i feel like they're not really following and they're only laughing at kind of the big parts but not the little kind of in little jokes that are sprinkled in i don't get annoyed but i can just tell like that show's going to be uh they're going to laugh quicker they're not laughing at everything it's not going to be as drawn like you know laughs are if if we always talk about like a quick laugh an audience can have a quick laugh or they go ha and then they all stop kind of very fast and that same material if you have a good rolling where people are laughing super hard that material

could it could be an hour and a half and then if they're quick laughers you could do that same amount of material in 45 minutes. Yeah. Pretty crazy. That's wild. And so sometimes you just know that, all right, this is going to be a pretty, we always say it's kind of a tight crowd, is what a lot of comics say. And so we just know like, hey, this crowd's kind of tight,

and you're going to have to either be real comfortable with silence, more than usual, or you got to just kind of pound them and just like stay on top of them and the shows that you try to make it be an hour instead of whatever it was uh matt curry nate your story about the open mic or with the ponytail reminds me of a buddy of mine also an open mic he had a super long goatee for a while and had a couple jokes about it i'm pretty sure in one of them he'd put it on his arm and say look robin look robin williams arm oh i said that wrong he put it on his arm the goatee on his arm and say look robin williams's arm at a certain point he shaved it but for at

least a few months after that he carried around in a ziploc bag to mike's and pull it out to do the jokes dude Dude. Yeah. That's, I mean, you're in the wrong business. That sounds like somebody you'd see in an open mic. Yeah. It's,

it's always good to be reminded. There are crazy people everywhere. Yeah. You know? Yeah. You got to go to, you know, you're just sitting there and you're like,

ah, I'm just doing five minutes. I, oh, we need you to do 10. It's like, all right, I guess I got to pull it out.

Uh, and he pulled out his goatee. He's on the way to do 10. It's like, all right, I guess I got to pull it out. And he pulls out his goatee. He's on the way out the door. He's like, got my wallet, keys. Where's my hair? Where's my hair? My goatee hair. My goatee hair.

My beard. Yeah, that seems crazy. But yeah, that's why open mics are great. That's why some people should go to open mics. You're going to see some guy. Maybe this person turned out to be great. A lot of comics start off doing weird stuff, and they become great. But people should go to open mics,

and you've got to go out with the attitude of like, look, it's not a regular show, so you're not going to see Chris Rock and don't expect a lot, but expect the insanity. And if you like seeing a train wreck, an open mic's about the best place for you to go. It's better than music. It's better than anything because it's just, you know, music is like,

I mean, maybe someone can be bad, but they play a song you like. You can sing along with it. I mean, it's just, dude, it's great. It really is. You're going to see some crazies. You're going to see, yeah, some pretty wild stuff. But all the people you like started there, so you never know who you're going to see.

You're going to see some pretty wild stuff. But all the people you like started there, so you never know who you're going to see. You're going to see some really good people. And that's even, I think it would help us as comedians, if people went to open mics and they could see, oh, here's the difference of when somebody gets really good versus how bad somebody is. You're going to notice it in that show. You're going to see someone, you're like, I kind of remember that guy.

That guy was pretty good, you know, or whatever. And then you're like that guy i kind of remember that guy that guy was pretty good you know or whatever and then you're like those other people were it was terrible yeah yeah and if you're a normal person that comes to an open mic just to watch like comics will be so appreciative of you it's like oh man we got a real there are real people just real people yeah we can treat it like a real show it's not just yeah inmates running the asylum yeah and you're gonna sit yeah just go just go and don't be a problem. Don't yell anything. But just go if you want to. See how long you can stay.

How long can you make it? Because if there's a real crowd, then everybody wants to go up. This is the time of year when the fantasy football losers show up to do. Oh yeah. A lot of that. Huh? Yeah. It's like the bachelor party.

Less than that now, just because. Yeah, that's true. That's true. But they bring their buddies with them. Yeah. So it's actually people like it. And as long as those,

yeah, if that, if you are doing that, if you can hearing this and that is one of your things is the loser has to go do an open mic. The other guys, look, you can go cheer on your buddy but like try to go at least be realist like you know don't just ruin the show by thinking it's just you there's actually guys that are there that are trying it and your buddy's gonna really try it so let you know just be like yeah man you gotta go give it your best and that person that's a you, man, you got to go give it your best. And that person that's, you know, the one that lost that, go give it your best.

Because maybe it's your thing. Yeah. Maybe you love it. I wonder how many actually come back. I've never seen another one. None that I've seen. Yeah. Yeah.

Including their friends. Yeah. Well. They usually leave as soon as that person's done. That's why I put them up at the end. Yeah. That's what I do. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. A lot of times they go up last. I ran a right across from vanderbilt at the the that beach bar and there'd always be vanderbilt i would walk over you put them up last so i didn't have to stay yeah yeah yeah we're on to you that's what good comedians we know when a regular person comes in that's at an open mic we don't have any money we nothing. That's all we got is a live audience member that's not a comedian. So we, I mean, it is like a rush to try to be like, let me on. Yeah.

And then you got to try to be like, other guys got to get on that are really funny. And like, you got to try to, you know, then you get to see, I mean, it's a regular crowd. You walk into an open mic mic you can change the whole show because once you sit down and you're normal then the comics that have been doing it for a while are going to go up and like it's going to be like oh let's go let's the order changes everybody gets a little more proper like everybody you know and it's like i'm gonna try tonight we gotta yeah you gotta really do it yeah which is good for which really helps the comedians adam ordering a glass of milk at a restaurant on a first date power move or just off-putting love the podcast boys ordering a glass of milk at a restaurant on a first date

it's off-putting i don't understand he's asking is that a cool move from the first day or is that gonna just turn the girl out of power move because my bones are strong well is it a is it a cool move from the first date or is that going to just turn the girl off? I have a power move because my bones are strong. Well, is it a cool move to impress her? You let her know? I got strong bones. No,

it's got to be off-putting. It would be off-putting if you did it with your best friend. Yeah. I'm off-put by hearing that you might,

that you're thinking about doing this. You don't order, you know who orders milk at a restaurant? My eight-year-old daughter. And You know who orders milk at a restaurant? My eight-year-old daughter. And do you think she wants milk at that table? No, she wants a Sprite.

And she only gets to get milk because Laura makes her get milk. I mean, if she's with me, I always end up getting her, she gets chocolate milk or something. I fold under pressure. But I mean, on a date, ordering milk. I mean, look, if you are, maybe it sticks out in their head.

If you're like, wait, you better have something behind this. You better be able to go on a rant. If you're relying on that to like shoot things up, you got problems. I mean, it is a power move, but it's probably not going to do a second date. It's not a power. I don't know if it's a power move. It's not a power move. I mean, that would be, you know, pulling your goatee out of a bag would be a power move but it's probably not gonna be a power i don't know if it's a power move it's it's not a power move i mean that would be you know pulling your goatee out of a bag would be a power move

and that might be the same guy that's what he's gonna go do uh it'd be better just to talk about i thought about what if i order milk yeah that was that would be bad be funny just going i thought about ordering milk. Yeah. And then I get a milk. Nah, just kidding. I'll get a, something like that.

She's going to tell that story to her friends for years. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, build it. If you don't like her, maybe order milk. If you want out,

that would be actually, that is a good tank. The date. Yeah. You're like, this is not going to work. Uh, can I get a couple of milks?

One backup. You order one for her. Yeah. You won't. I mean, I'll, yeah're like, this is not going to work. Can I get a couple milks? One backup? You order one for her? Yeah. You want? I mean, I'll... Yeah. We're taking milk, please. Bill Dempsey.

Billy Dempsey. Hello, folks. I was thinking about your Krispy Kreme challenge and couldn't remember if you had heard of the Krispy Kreme challenge in Raleigh, North Carolina. Runners run two and a half miles to a Krispy Kreme. They're given a dozen donuts to eat and then must run another two and a half miles to a Krispy Kreme. They're given a dozen donuts to eat and then must run another two and a half miles

all in one hour. The only reason I've heard about that, a buddy of mine that I've golfed with, Jeff Carpenter, has done this. He's a real in shape dude. And that's who does stuff like that. I'm going to walk

to those Krispy Kremes and and i'm gonna eat a dozen and then uh i'll eat them as i walk to the next but that i mean that's a lot that's it makes it yeah it's fun i guess it makes it something different you know those good people eat it and they feel like they run it off uh have y'all heard of it i have i've heard of one like i had a friend that did one where- You got tricked into it. They go, you want some Krispy Kremes? You're like, yeah, dude, I would love some.

There's one about two and a half miles away. Oh, I'll drive? Yeah. No, we're not driving. No, no, no. It's all blocked off. Now, I saw it ESPN, not a 30 for 30, but- Yeah.

Is that serious? What if I told you you could have a dozen donuts here if you just walk this way? A little segment about it on the sports center. Yeah. What were you saying? I had a buddy that did something similar where you drink a certain amount of beers, and then you have to run a mile,

but you're kind of buzzed. Yeah. All right. Yeah. All right. That would be something crazy. You get drunk. It's probably fun.

You add some heavy machinery into it. You drink a couple beers, NyQuil, then drive a bulldozer. I'm like, okay, I'll try. Meredith Caldwell. When I was in college, I would use a different email every month to get the month free for new users on CBS All Access. Well, apparently I forgot to cancel one of the free trials before they charged me and couldn't figure out the email and password combination. So not only could I not cancel, I couldn't watch this stuff.

I was paying for either. It ended up charging $6.48 to my card every month for seven years because I kept forgetting, and I didn't feel like calling them to explain why it happened. Seven years and $550 later, I canceled that card because it was stolen, and they finally stopped charging me. $550 later, I canceled that card because it was stolen, and they finally stopped charging me. Too bad that's all it took, or I could have done that seven years ago.

Wow, that's crazy. I mean, not to – how much money – I would love to know how much money they make on stuff like that. Yeah. Like how much is their business is just built on just – you're not going to call – I dare you to call and cancel. They offer it to go, no, it's free. Cancel whenever you want. business is just built on just you're not going to call i dare you to call and cancel they offer it to go no it's free cancel whenever you want i mean planet fitness is doing that where they're cancel whenever you want yeah yeah go ahead and you go all right all right i'll show you

and they go show me show me and then and then they watch you walk to their van and drive off and they go we'll never see that guy again. But we got his money. Sucker. Yeah. It's a loser. We got his money. All right. So this week, we've pre-recorded this. So if you're watching this, Laura left me. No, she's still here but so we wanted to record one one that

we've been asked about a lot we talked about it a long time ago people brought it up and and I'm interested in it is the Middle Ages something that I I, I don't know if I know anything about them. It's funny that it says middle ages because it's, I mean, it seems like there's an end, right? Like there would be an end time. I'm middle aged, right? 40, middle age, 41. He's not middle aged.

Close, 30, 30 middle aged. Yeah. Close. Depends on middle-aged. Close. 30s. 30 middle-aged. Yeah. Close. Depends on what your life expectancy is. Yeah. So you're, I mean, back half with the gout thing.

I'm over the hill, man. No, you're not middle-aged. Your foot is. So you're saying we can call them the middle ages for now, but thousands of years ago, it won't make any sense to call them that. In the future, thousands of years in the future, I mean. Yeah, because it's, I mean, yeah, because there's other ages. Do they say ages?

Yeah, it really doesn't make sense to call it that now. Yeah, it doesn't fit in the time now. It doesn't fit into it you know are you middle ages i mean i thought about this other day i'll be 50 later this year the average life expectancy is around mid to late 70s well i'm almost two-thirds of the way done yeah oh you can't can't start doing that yeah can't start doing the math no it's fine let him do it uh someone's gotta do it you know everybody everybody was doing it in their head to begin with so it's fine. Let them do it. Someone's got to do it. You know? Everybody was doing it in their head to begin with. So it's like, why not?

You know? I mean, to be middle, truly middle age means I'd have to live to be 98. Yeah. Yeah. Not without. Not crazy. No. It's not crazy with the technology we're having.

Do you want to live that long? 98? If I'm healthy? Yeah. Who doesn't? Who goes, that's enough? I know people do that as jokes. technology we're having do you want to live that long 98 if i'm healthy yeah why would who doesn't who goes that's enough i know people do that as jokes your grandmother right yeah i don't get to a certain point where all you everybody in your life has died you're just like all right i'm i'm about ready yeah you know i i think uh i know comics do it as jokes or you go, you can,

you can say that, but I just can't imagine unless you've lived a horrific life. Yeah. And it's, I just, and you're, maybe you're, if you're in tremendous pain or you're going through something like that.

Uh, I, but I, I, that's the only reason. And I'm in that part. I think that they, they feel bad.

Otherwise I think, and no one really has a, you know, you're not going to hit a number and go, that's the only reason. And I think that they feel bad. Otherwise, I think no one really has a, you know, you're not going to hit a number and go, that's good. Yeah, I think. You'd want to be 100. I agree with you. Yeah. That's how I'd feel. Yeah.

I want to be 100. Larry King, a lot of old people were like, I'm ready to go. He wasn't. He was like, I do not want to die. Yeah, he was still working. Yeah, he said that on podcasts. Yeah. And he was like, no, I don't want to go.

And he was very honest i don't want to go and wow he's very honest about it yeah i mean the the yeah i i i think i i you don't want to go i think you think in general you do but then you know what are you gonna do you know what are you gonna do I don't know. Schedule might fill up. It's going to be hot down there. That's what someone would say that knows they're going to hell. They're like, I just can't take these cold winters anymore. I'm just ready to get to it. There you go. I just need to get warmed up.

I need to get warmed up a little bit. So middle ages, I don't think I could guess the time yeah i don't think i could have either before 1300 yeah that's it well that's in there it's a very broad range big span right the 500 to 1500 yeah we will be middle did you look that up i think maybe a while ago like tuesday yeah i mean that's basically around 500 to 1500 which is a huge range yeah it's ridiculous because think about if you back it up 500 years a thousand the year 2000 you'd be furious if everyone just lumped you in that one well i think we will probably be middle ages yeah what are they going to call us what are we? I think we're the technology age or something like that.

Yeah. There's all kinds of different ages. So it comes in between, the Middle Ages came in between the fall of the Roman Empire and the Renaissance. Yeah. And the Middle Ages is also called the medieval period, same thing, very medieval, or the dark ages. It's often called the dark ages.

Yeah. Because it's dark a lot. Yeah. It got dark very early. No, because the Romans, after the Roman Empire fell, they were very cultural, and they kept great records, and they were on top of stuff. And then after that, everything kind of went into chaos.

It's just known as a time there wasn't a lot of scientific advancement, not a lot of charts, not a lot of graphs. Yeah. You loved it. I might have loved the Middle Ages. You just thrived. Yeah, just not on top of you, thinking like, we got to get better. It's like, no, we're good.

Yeah. The fact that they can lump in a thousand years together tells me there wasn't a lot going on. Yeah. And there's different, there's like early Middle Ages, late Middle Ages. Yeah. Generally speaking, Middle Ages, the Romans kept great records. They were great with stuff.

And then the Dark Ages, there's just a lot of wars, just a lot of just not the best of times, plagues, stuff like that. How long did people live then? Life expectancy was like 30 to 35. But again, there wasn't a ton of people dying at 35. It's just that so many people die in childbirth that the average. That messed the average oh that messed the average like one out of every five kids died yeah i think if you get as an adult i think you live to like 60 or something yeah but if you just make it past it's like a turtle just like a turtle yeah

odds are you're not if you make it out of yeah yeah yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's the same thing. Same thing. So the Roman Empire basically ruled. Now, we're talking about, America's not even a thing yet. Yeah. Unless you're a Native American. So we're basically talking about Europe. And the Roman Empire basically ruled most of the known world,

most of Europe, other places. Then it starts falling apart and they lose their power and it's kind of getting chaotic. And then the Catholic Church becomes the most powerful entity. Oh, and then it began. Yep. What did you guys do to just get control, you know?

Well, if you're just right about stuff, then people kind of. That's what it was? You know, I looked that up because they made everyone tie 10%. Everybody had to tie 10% to church. And the church wasn't- Whether you win or not. Yeah. Yeah.

So they got all their wealth during this period. But I was trying to figure out what made them do it. Did they have an army or what? It seemed like they just guilted people. Oh, there's probably some bloodshed going on. Yeah. But I think a lot of it was just guilting. Do you want to go to heaven or not?

You better give 10%. But the Pope became the most powerful person in the world, and the Catholic Church started kind of running things. I mean, there's kings and queens. Yeah. But the Catholic Church kind of called the shots during this period. That's pretty crazy. Southern Baptists never took off like that.

You would love to. You would love to. Yeah. Good. Yeah, you guys were you know we're not evil uh you gotta have my parents what would your vatican be the southern baptist i don't know uh cracker barrel probably do a lot of stuff out of there that's that's your sistine chapel yeah it's a cracker barrel I think that's where it gets started After Sunday

You go to Cracker Barrel And you get We get some ideas flowing You see who can do the triangle T thing And if they can't You know If they get to four

You're like alright And you tell them about What the plan is And if they just Cheat Or like they can't They leave eight And then you're like

Alright Kind of get them out You know And it's And we sit on the rocking chairs and then we get called in yeah to talk to them that's your conclave let the kids go look at the toy section yeah sounds fun buy some buy some unverified uh vanderbilt titans gear they always have hats that are just like... They always got that weasel thing attached to a ball too. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah.

Put your hand down harder. I mean, you just gave up. I'm just disappointed, dude. Do you ever, when you put your hand down, ever control it? Or do you do a little drop? Are you always just uh just a drop was that that hard of a drop onto the table hmm someone in iowa heard it so i don't know you

let's ask them you know like that's uh i'd like the idea though of when you drop your hand if you just you just give up at the end. Like you don't – when you set your hand down on stuff, there's no – Some people sit like that. Some people sit like that. Oh, yeah. Like that last few seconds are just a free fall. Yeah. Yeah.

The first seconds are to confirm the chair is there. Yeah. And then the last seconds are just let it go. Just drop. Trust that it's there. This is what I'm last seconds are there. Just let it go. Just drop. Trust that it's there. This is what I'm talking about, that weasel ball. Oh, yeah. That thing's always sitting there.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then it goes around. Yeah, that's fun. Sounds like a toy from the Middle Ages. The weasel ball. The Middle Ages goes, this is where you guys got to? You call us the Dark Ages.

We don't know what's going on, but y'all, this was y'all's advance to? You're like, well, it's fun. It's got different colors and stuff. Who likes that toy? Is it for dogs? Is it for dogs? I can see that being for dogs. Yeah.

I hope it's for dogs. Oh, I always wanted one. I hope it's for dogs Oh I always wanted What if it's not It is fun Yeah Yeah it rolls around It looks like there's

A little thing attached to it I'll get it Okay There's an episode of Seinfeld Where they're doing They're trying to do The roommate switch And George says

Do you realize In the history Of western civilization No one has successfully committed accomplished the roommate switch in the middle ages you could get locked up

for even suggesting that yeah and Cherry says there weren't roommates in the middle ages and then George says well at some point between the year 800

and 1200 there had to be two women living together yeah that's the middle ages that's the middle ages I wonder if they did live together

like roommates you know like live you mean you had to i'm sure there was families and tribes and so the system was basically feudalism which was peasants that worked land of some lord of the manor serfs right yeah and then the the ruler the nobleman the lord or whatever would let them live on that land in return yeah so they'd raise crops they do all the work he'd make the money off the nobleman, the lord, or whatever, would let them live on that land in return. Yeah. So they'd raise crops. They'd do all the work. He'd make the money off the crops. In return, they'd get to live there.

And that was kind of the... That's what almost everybody did. That's kind of the operation I have in my house. What do you mean? Same idea. I don't know. But the same philosophies. I like what they're talking about.

I can get on board with this feudalism thing Yeah So this was like any movie You guys didn't watch Game of Thrones Which is a fictional world Kings, Queens, Knights Jesters Dragons

Maybe I wasn't there I can't prove I wasn't could have been could have been well a couple dinosaurs still walking around is that what do we think dragons are dinosaurs no i don't know komodo dragons komodo dragons oh that's a good one that's technically a dinosaur well i didn't mean to get off on that but uh uh court jesters court jesters were the original comedians what were they all about so they were also called

licensed fools yeah yeah and they weren't like they were actually held in high esteem to some degree they weren't just licensed fools yeah yeah the king liked them they could make jokes about the king that no one else could make and get away with it. Yeah. They warmed up the crowd. They wore the bright outfits like you imagine with the crazy hat, stuff like that. But they juggled. That's pretty good that they got to do a lot of stuff.

That's pretty good that they, almost like the kings knew, like, I got to like some release of what's going on and if you do that then you can do whatever you want yeah like if i make fun of myself i know it's crazy you can't i know you know all right we cut your aunt's head off i get it i get that you're upset But You know And then as you do it And you're like And then you're like Yeah Well your mom's head's off too

By the way And I figured this was the time to tell you Yeah Because I think they cut people's heads off all the time During this They did a lot I think that was regular You just see that

That's just how you died back then Yeah Well they had You didn't die as a baby They had executioners for sure. Yeah. And if they didn't cut your head off, a lot of hangings, a lot of public hangings going on.

But the court jester also gave people bad news. Like the king, they often had to give the king the bad news because he was like, you break it to him and do it in a funny way. So there's examples- He goes, pick a card. Pick a card. Pick a card. There's other guards outside the door.

Pick a card. There you other guards outside the door. Pick a card. There you go. Your wife was kidnapped? Two? Did you pick a two? That's just what they, he's just trying to go, hey, what's that?

Your wife's been kidnapped. But that was the right card. Right. He's like, that's pretty good. Francis, complete naval, naval fleet got completely destroyed by the English. And the jester had to go tell the France's king that their navy was completely destroyed,

all their ships destroyed. So he said, he told the king, those English don't even have the guts to jump into the water like our guys do. That was his joke. Yeah. Just to soften the ground a little bit yeah that was his big joke i would like to say all our guys are now floating dead in the water those guys are afraid to get wet so do you think the jester are they just on call in the castle at all times just like i'm here to just but you're on call has some leeway because i think you there's not a phone

so you got to go chase them down and so you're're, you know, it's not like now on calls, like you're straight up. Within seconds, you're alerted. But you might have a weak head start. You're on call, but a weak, you know? Yeah. There was an example of a young, I mean, sometimes babies were born as kings, and there was a young teenage king, and he never read any of the royal decree. He signed papers, didn't even know what he was signing, the documents.

So the jester wrote a royal decree. I'm listening. All right. The jester wrote a royal decree that made himself ruler of all of Scotland for 15 days, and the king signed it without looking. He tricked a baby into signing it? No, this was a teenager. Still.

After this, the king never again signed a document without it was a baby carefully in the baby sign that's the reason the baby sign is a two-year-old can you believe that he tricked the two-year-old but my favorite jester was roland the farter what'd he do? Well, let me tell you. He was a medieval flatulist who lived in England. What was... Hold on.

Flatulist. Hold on. That reminds me. What's that movie with Craig Robinson? Time? Yeah, it's like time... Hot Tub Time Machine.

Hot Tub Time Machine. So, Craig Robinson's hosting Last Comic Standing. Greg Giraldo, one of the greatest comedians ever who passed away. But Robinson's hosting Last Comic Standing. Greg Giraldo, one of the greatest comedians ever, who passed away. But he's hosting it, and then Greg Robinson tells me, he goes, oh, I got a new movie out. It's called Hot Tub Time Machine.

Greg Giraldo goes, what's that about? It was like a very funny, quick. That was a very, extremely funny thing to do. They did it on, it was on TV. Oh, what was that? What's the Hot Tub Time Machine about? Like, yeah, it was on TV. Oh, what was that? What's a hot tub time machine about? Like, yeah, like, well, it's a hot tub.

All right. Well, Roland the Farter was a medieval flatulence, lived in England. He was given 30 acres of land in return for his service as jester for King Henry II. Each year, he was obliged to perform one jump, one whistle, and one fart for the King's Christmas party. One jump? He had to do them all at the same time. A jump, a whistle. And a fart.

So he had to just jump in the air? Whistle and fart all at the same time. Do exactly what he's saying. So just do a jump in the air, whistle, and fart. I think we got a new Krispy Kreme challenge. so far. I think we got a new Krispy Kreme challenge. I mean, this is I would love to just be around him

leading up to that week. What's he eating? He's just eating with the horses. He's just like in the barn. That's gotta be harder than it looks. I think a lot of older guys do it on accident. I think they do all those things I think my dad can do it

Just tell an old man to try to jump And it'll happen If you go just jump All of those other things will We'll try to Wilson So this is just this king This was just his thing man He just thought this was the funniest thing in the world

His whole party did Every year he'd do a Christmas party Still doing pretty good. Call Roland the Farter. Is he available? Y'all got to see this guy, Roland. Did they have, it said Christmas? Like they did Christmas?

Yeah. And then the Christmas party. That's all he did. They get paid? He got 30 acres of land. Yeah. And then they just grew their own food and stuff. I guess so, yeah.

Yeah. The money wasn't really. I mean, they had money. i don't know how that how much should he been paid this was 12th century england so 11 this is the year 1100 to fart to do well i mean if the main guy wants it the money's doesn't you know 30 acres it's a lot it's a lot of land it's a lot of land but i mean you're in the middle ages of just nothing around like that might not be a lot of land it's a lot of land but i mean you're in the middle ages of just nothing around like that might not be a lot of land you know what i mean yeah like i mean there's america's no one's over here but native americans there's a lot of unclaimed land here's 30 acres yeah this is in england in england yeah and then you got yeah i hope it's in a good spot

i hope those people are watching when i mean that's pretty fast what if you're in the bathroom really oh i missed it yeah can you do it again i missed the entertainment not till next year yeah it's funny to me like he has to do it all at the same time that's what makes it hard we can all do the other three. What's Roland doing this year? Same thing he did last year. Same act. I can tell the wheels are turning.

You're like, kid, we do this? I can't whistle, so I'm out. Right away. But I'd make up for it. Yeah. And when you jumped into the other thing i'll bring in the whistle like each one of us could do one of the things um oh man so that's not tell him like five minutes they're like five minutes of showtime he's like and he asked everybody to leave his green room.

He's like, do you guys mind getting out? And then he's just like, I just need some time to just gather my thoughts. He's like, you know, it's like, all right,

man, have a good show. He's like, I appreciate it. You know, thanks man. Yeah. And then he's just,

jump whistle. JWF, JWF, JWF. man yeah and then he's just jump whistle jwf jwf jwf and he goes out there and john and he's like ah they just shoot him i don't know they had guns but they shoot them and they publicly hang him and the king's like how does he not get it it's funny you got to do this it is the, do you do the fart as the land? Could be the land. Oh, interesting. Yeah.

And maybe that's the, you know, you're like, what order are you going to go in? He's like, I guess you better be there. I guess you better show up and see because I got something nice and planned. He's eating a big turkey leg. It's just like. What order are you doing it? I'm going to feel the crowd out. Yeah.

I'm not completely sure. There's not a microphone. I think maybe you jump off a table or something, get a little air time. What if it didn't make noise? And then he's got to be like, I swear I did it. And he goes, I didn't. And then someone has to walk over and they're like, come here.

He goes, nah, he did it. He did it. Yeah, he did it. He goes, I told you. And the king's like, all right, technically. Like he's just kind of putting a hard, he's like, all right, all right. This is a lot of questions.

If I could go back in time, I would maybe ask these. I would want to go, I'd walk right to the king first. Yeah. Or the court jester and be like, so what's, you know, what happened? How did he sell the show to the king? Did the king just see him do it, you think? I think there was a lot going on back then. I mean, I think these were three of the

main things people do. I'm out. These were jumping, whistling, and farting. I think there's a picture of it. That's entertainment. Of rolling the farter. You just want to see what the guy looks like. It's probably a painting, right?

That's a regular picture. Oh, man. All right. But that's a regular picture. Oh, my God. All right. Yeah, now I get it more. He is, oh, geez. There's some little two in detail drawings of our boy Roland. Wow.

He was a legend. He was. That's incredible. I'm just wondering, how long was he a gesture? I don't know. His age was right up. Yeah. He has a Wikipedia page.

That's more than I got. Oh, it doesn't have his age on there, does it? Yeah. One jump, one whistle, one fart for the king's court at Christmas. Unum saltum et servitum. That's how they said it. Yeah, they said it. Each year, he had to do an unum saltum et stiftum et unum. Bumbalum.

Bumbalum. And then the bumbalum, you're like, all right, I get the bumbalum. What's the other stuff? That's how the bumbalum kind of makes sense. You'rebalum. Bumbalum. And then the Bumbalum, you're like, all right, I get the Bumbalum. What's the other stuff? That's how the Bumbalum kind of makes sense. You're like, okay, I understand that. But what's the other stuff? Jump and a whistle. Oh.

Yeah. Okay. That says he was giving Hemming Stone Manor. So he was given a manor for his work. Wow. I love how you just brushed over flatulence like that's a real job title well i mean it was then yeah yeah flatulence wow yeah he's there if you're are there fascists now like is that a regular job look up see it's a regular job because i mean this might be the

you know is this like they're richard pryor if you're in the flatulence world you got a list of notable flatulence yeah so there's mr methane he's a contemporary flatulence uh you got roland the farter's kind of the he's like the no well the car oh yeah of... And then Will the Farter, the Howard Stern show. 2007 to, wow, 2008. That was it. So it was huge in the Middle Ages. And then Will the Farter brought it back. Le Potomac, he performed in France from 1887 till 1914.

That's a long time. Then it finally got old. And i bet everybody asked his wife does he just do it all the time at home she goes no not as much as you would think it's like he doesn't same question y'all asked laura is he funny all the time he's like no i mean he doesn't he's pretty healthy at home uh he doesn't he's pretty you. So you're thinking that you're 1950? Well, who's Mr. Methane? Mr. Methane. Contemporary flatulence. 1991.

Yeah. He briefly retired in 2006, but restarted in mid-2007. I'm back in it. Yeah. Just when they pull me out. He got bored. He claims to be the only performing farter in the world. Good for him. He worked on the railways before focusing on this.

Anyway, I got a lot of stuff here in the middle. He was able to focus on it the whole time. On the railways? Yeah. He worked on the railways. He's like, I didn't take it seriously. He was like, oh, were you doing it? He's like, oh, yeah, dude.

I was doing it. I've been doing it? He's like, oh, yeah, dude. I was doing it. I've been doing it the whole time. I just, you know. Another big thing in the king's court was dwarfs, court dwarfs. And so jesters were only part-time employees. Court dwarfs were like permanent in the king's court. There was the personal dwarf and the chamber dwarf

and the court dwarf and the king liked them sitting next to him because it made the king look much larger and it made his power, position look more powerful. So they,

so dwarves lived lives of privilege in that time. They got good money, benefits it says. What is the benefits? I think protection. Health insurance. Yeah, probably protection. Yeah, that's like as. What is the benefits? I mean, what protection?

Yeah, probably protection. Yeah. That's like real legit benefits. Yeah. 401k. Protection and food. You know, it's like,

I don't know. You like, I mean, there were dentists. You just, someone knocked your tooth out with a hammer and he's like, ah, it's free.

Like, ah, thanks man. He's bleeding from the mouth. The benefits paid for that. A favorite dwarf of Peter the Great received a state funeral, including miniature horses and a small priest. Oh.

Feels like they didn't need to do that. They could have just given him a regular priest. It was probably. They're watching a guy whistle and jump. I don't think they're above anything. That's a little on the nose to use miniature horses to carry his body i don't think they were yeah can you imagine imagine and tell them some of the problems we've had here now these people that like they would they wouldn't even understand they'd be what like you're just whatever typical stuff we have where you're like, that guy says mean stuff a lot.

And they're like, oh, okay. Archery became a big thing in that time just for protection because during wars and stuff like that. So the king made, in England at least, a requirement. Every Sunday men had to practice archery every Sunday just to become good archers. Yeah, I mean, that's a i mean such a tough way to fight a battle i mean oh you're just gonna get hit you're like oh it's no fun

an arrow and this isn't like even just like up close this is when they launch from long distances and just comes down and hits you from and it's a slow like you see it coming you're trying to run but there's 15 of them yeah so then um golf was invented in scotland and it became such a problem because everyone was playing that the king decreed no one can play golf because they need to practice their archery. Wow. Everyone was playing golf on Sundays. He actually out-rolled golf and football, soccer, during that time. Robin Williams has a joke about golf starting. Creating it. Yeah, creating it. Scotland, right?

Yeah. But then, that was King James II. King James IV lifted the ban about 50 years later, because he became a golfer himself. Wow. And he got addicted to it and he had the first set of special make clubs made by um a bow maker made him a set of clubs big bertha i don't think so no big birthdays are now no big birthday sounds like it could be

that was his wife that hated that he golfed that day. Big Bertha. He goes, you going to get a play today? I can play nine. Imagine Big Bertha's on my case about. So this was in 1502 when he got the clubs. Would they play 18 holes? I don't think so. The first, so St. Andrews is the oldest course, and that opened in 1574.

That's a Lynx course. That was past the Middle Ages. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. There's some old school golf, man. Yeah. The ball was made of wood.

Yeah. Just hidden into a hole. What about his swing there? What do you think about that? It's not good. He's going to have to shift all that weight over. Yeah. So Bates swing.

Bates hits the ball. That's me, by the way. And then finishes the swing. What do you mean? The ball is hit, and then he gets into the proper release form. That back foot I lift. So he lifts the back. So his ball is 100 yards away from him, and then he lifts his back foot i lift so he lifts the back so his ball is 100 yards away from him

and then he lifts his back foot up it's almost like the way like a gymnast lands and then they like yeah but they gather their thoughts like that's how the if the video of baits yeah it's pretty great yeah because it's the ball is gone yeah and then the back and then he then it like you just see something in the back of his head go, right foot. And he goes, and then he lifts it. But I mean, it's, I'm already, you could already be putting a tee down. Yeah.

And like the other guy's already about to hit. Oh, look at that. All right. Yeah. So also during the Middle Ages, Islam started muhammad lived during the middle ages he started islam and mecca became a uh obviously a major religion at the at its height it was three times bigger than all christianity can't joke about that so let's move on all right the only reason i tell that is because that's when the... The crusade started.

You guys heard of the crusades? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just in general. Yeah. I've heard some stuff. Yeah. i've heard it mentioned that was basically wars

that went on for years and years and years between christians and muslims because the catholic church wanted to take back the holy lands and so well i'm glad they figured that out glad they got that all yeah yeah can you. Can you imagine if someone from the Middle Ages shows up today, y'all are still fighting? And you're like, yeah, dude, I don't know. We're just always going to keep doing it. That's basically true. The Knights Templar was a group of devout Christians

that fought to allow people to visit the Holy Lands, travelers, and they became fierce fighters during the Crusades. Some people say they went underground 700 years ago and still exist today. They're still alive today. How old would they be? No, not the actual. I think they just fit.

The order, not the people. They'd be pretty old. You think they want to die i mean you think they wake up every morning go come on what am i 1200 years old yeah let me give you some people from the middle ages uh two out of these five aren't real. See if you guys can guess which ones aren't real. Did you go to school with any of them?

That's why I removed myself from this. One of them is going to be Brian Bates. That's real. Joan of Arc, King Arthur, Robin Hood, William Wallace, that's who Mel Gibson played in Braveheart, and Marco Polo. Okay. Who's not real? Two of those five probably aren't real.

Yeah. Okay. I would almost say Robin Hood I don't think is real. And then – I think he's based on a real. It's almost like they're Paul Bunyan over there. that I don't think is real. And then... I think he's based on a real. It's almost like they're Paul Bunyan over there. I would go Robin Hood and William Wallace.

Not real. William Wallace is for sure a real person. As Mel Gibson. Mel Gibson's real too. I guess technically, yeah, I guess he is. But yeah, William Wallace is a real guy. Joan of Arc was definitely real. I think maybe King Arthur. That's my sleeper pick.

King Arthur, not based on a real. And who else? Real person. What are the other ones? Robin Hood and Joan of Arc. Marco Polo. Marco Polo is real. So, yeah, we'll do Robin Hood and King Arthur.

You're correct. There we go. I mean, they are based maybe on some some real people but they're I thought Braveheart was like that was like kind of like I thought it would have been a made up guy well I think they dispute it

you know because in the movie William Wallace has a kid with the princess and that would completely taint the bloodline of English kings. Yeah. So Scotland claims that that's what happened. And then England's like, no, that never happened.

So there's some dispute over what happened, I think. So if I'd have watched Braveheart recently, I'd have been like, I know he's real. I thought it would be, you know, where I'm from, there's a bunch of movies. Yeah. I thought it was like that. Where I'm new There's a bunch of movies Yeah I thought it was like that Oh okay Like a legend Like a mythical figure Yeah

Yeah William Wallace was real He used to do He was so much more violent In real life Than he is in the movie He used to make He used to scout people

And make belts out of their Their skin Oh gosh Yeah he was Ruthless You know a lot about him What do you think he would during the the farting show do you think he would enjoy it or would he be just no fun all the time

i mean you think he ever was fun i think a lot of i'm guessing a lot of these people that live back then there's just very little joy in their lives because they just couldn't afford to, they just had to, they woke up and worked all day and then they went to bed. Yeah. And then that's pretty much it. Yeah. And they may not know any better, so they may have found joy other ways. Yeah. You mentioned going to the dentist, how that was.

Most people couldn't afford a doctor or a dentist, so they went to the barber and that's how they got treated by the barber like he would do all the all of it yeah yeah he would do all of it so the barber pole the red and white barber pole that came from red and red blood yeah and um like because they would do a lot of bloodletting bloodletting was their big go-to thing back then yeah which is just literally letting out some blood. Yeah. That's all they need to do. They're like, let's try to just get some of this bad blood.

For everything? For all problems? Let's get the blood out and see if that helps. You know, there's times I feel like I could lose a little bit. You know, it's all in there. You're not putting any new in, just take something out. I feel like it's a little too. I mean, the other thing, it was leeches for the same reason to get the blood out they put leeches on you yeah but the barber pole is what you gripped

um when they're drawing the blood out of you just to hold on to for because of the pain yeah so that's how they knew if this barber also did dentist and medical stuff he had a barber pole out front i mean that was like pain where you know like now like uh when a woman gives birth to like you're gonna never know that pain and like you almost could never say that back then yeah like a woman just it's like i've given birth and the guy's like are you great like i cut my hand off and i i've been shot i've been hit by 50 arrows and still walking around and then i gotta let blood out like every there's but not that women women are going through that pain but there's so much pain yeah that there's just you know they're like uh it's it's a lot all pain it's a real

creepy thing to pay homage to you mean like now now? Modern day barbers still use those poles? It's like, you don't have to do all that. Yeah. Most people probably don't know what they symbolize. Well, I think there's blue in them now. There is, yeah. And so that makes it. Wow.

Yeah. Had you heard. Let's all get rid of the past, Aaron. Is that what you'd rather have? Sorry. Mr. Friendship. Yeah. Had you heard that I grew up and somebody told me

hey your blood is actually blue yeah until it hits air until it hits air and it's red and i believe that for a long time yeah that's not true it's not true apparently yeah do you know if it's right i think i've heard of it but i think it looks blue in your skin in your veins because your veins look green anything you think, oh, it's blue. Yeah. I think that's totally made up. Yeah. Yeah.

Took off. Wow. All right. Thanks. I'm going to let that air on y'all's podcast, and we're going to cut it out of the Nate Land podcast. We'll cover that on Aaron Land, for sure. Aaron Land. We'll dive into that.

What color is your blood, really? Yeah. on erin land sure erin land we'll dive into that what color is your blood really yeah uh the other thing if you weren't if you weren't doing bloodletting and leeches or couldn't go to a a uh a barber for your medical treatment can you imagine not being able to afford that the barber yeah yeah you're going uh look kill to go to barber you're like what do you do what do i do throw myself down a cliff that's like what else could you do can you imagine if he did all that to you though and he's like anything else well plum here a little touch up well he also does your hair yeah yeah he washes the blood off and gives you a trim and then just the pain of that you're missing that that hurts worse

it probably does you're not washing your hair you Are they washing it? I doubt it. Is soap around? I mean, is there? Well, deodorant hadn't been invented yet. I think that's a, deodorant's a very recent invention. And it was like the solution to a problem that nobody thought was a problem. Everybody just smelled bad all the time and nobody cared. And then somebody was like, we can get rid of that. And now we all have to do it.

We could all just agree to not wear deodorant, you know?'s you guys it's a long time of like getting used to that i don't wear deodorant that much i wear it uh i'm not the biggest sweater in the world yeah and so uh if i know i'm gonna be outside uh i didn't put on deodorant today i did we know yeah no i don't really stink. Like it's a guy that I don't. But I'm saying it's a, it's a solution to a problem that we created. I know. I'm saying I don't do it.

I'm saying we all agree. Yeah. I'm saying we could all agree. Then you'd be, you don't have to do it ever. Yeah. Cause they, it's not good to, they, people say it's not good to put a deodorant on, put too much. Yeah.

I do it when I go out, like if I'm going somewhere. But I just don't, like if I'm golfing, if I'm doing stuff during the day, I'm around the house, I'm not going to be sweating. Like I just don't have to. Why isn't it good? It's, I don't know, you know, whatever. Alzheimer's? Whatever the new rules that you can't do anything.

Yeah, sure. I'm sure of something. Just someone says it. I don't know the exact reasons. But just like anything, you can't do that anymore. I put it on before I go to bed. Do you? Yeah.

Seriously? Yeah, why not? Because you got to get up and go somewhere? Like the ER? Yeah. Because your armpits can't breathe because they're being smothered. I don't want to smell bad ever, dude. I know.

No one does. But I mean, for someone that was just trying to get us to all not wear deodorant, to then say, I put it on when I sleep. Look, what I'm saying. I don't think you would go along with the deal that we made. And I'd just be the only good smelling guy in the world. You're like, Aaron always smells wonderful. I'm saying, as long as we live in this world where everybody has to wear deodorant,

I'll play the game. Yeah. You know? When was it it invented the 80s question good question by the way our blood is red i looked yeah i looked it up just to make sure that a bunch of blood doctors in the comments all right all right so another big 1910s deodorant okay so another big medical thing people would do is just beat themselves they just whip themselves or have a friend with them they're called flagellants not flatulence but flagellant i think it's how it's pronounced and they basically thought that's man that's a close i know say that. I'm flagellant. You're like, oh.

He goes, no, no, no, no. Just a whip. You go, oh. Oh, yeah, my uncle's about to. Sorry. They thought if they had any type of disease or sickness that God was punishing them. So they would whip themselves to try to punish themselves for their sins, thinking God would then forgive them and heal them.

And this was a big thing to just go around and publicly whip yourself for atonement for sins. And when the black death came to hit Europe. I wonder if that's like someone that talks with their speakerphone now, you know, is it, is it that annoying? If you're just in line getting bread and then it's just he's just like kroger and you're like oh god yeah you have to do it the whole time dude you can't not uh excuse me sir you can't wait and maybe just whip yourself outside like all of us do you got to do it with everybody sitting here you've hit me three times and i'm in wonderful

shape right now um so the black death the bubonic plague was the worst pandemic in history well they haven't seen covid this lasted for about three years it killed 20 million people in Europe 30% of the continent died a third that's a lot of people that's a big one 12 ships sailed into the Black Sea

in Italy when they arrived they were almost all dead the soldiers they were oozing blood and pus and they all died

eventually and a lot of people would just go to bed at night feeling healthy and be dead by morning i was that quick according to wikipedia yeah what was it it was like the bubonic plague someone's like it's a cold that's how someone's talking what is it a little stronger flu? He's sweating. Just let some blood out. It killed cows, pigs, goats, chickens, and sheep.

Led to a wool shortage in Europe. COVID's not taking out animals, is it? I don't think so. That's crazy. So, flagellants became a big thing. Everybody going around whipping themselves to try to get healthy. Did it work? No, it did not.

We're still talking about the Black Plague. So, not... Man, that's pretty wild. That's so many people. Yeah. A third, almost. Was it a virus? Yeah. Yeah, it was rats.. Was it a virus? Yeah. Yeah, it was rats.

Didn't it start with rats? Yeah. Scientists believe the plague started through the bite of an infected flea or rat, both which were common in the Middle Ages, especially on ships. They would eat rats? A flea. Oh, bit a rat. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, the bit a rat that bit a person. The rat bit the person? Either a flea or oh bit bit a rat yeah yeah oh the bit of rat that bit a person the rat bit the person either a flea or a rat they think god just like the bat yeah i think for uh covid could they have ever figured that out back then i don't think so yeah that's a good question how do they how do they know like is there do they even are they just going something's up yeah i mean people are just dying yeah yeah do they even have any concept of like this of what a virus is back then probably i mean people are dying just regularly just like if they're during this time during the great moments of it people are just dead and then so now it's like i know it's like a rapid kind of thing yeah but yeah i mean i don't think they would think about quarantine i mean i'm sure you just think i'm gonna stay in my house

and keep away from everybody i don't think you're thinking about did the people that survived the 70 that survived were that do you think that they just had a genetic immunity to it or they just got lucky i guess was it i don't know did you stay home a lot during that's how you asked that question like he was a part of it you're like did your parents you said your aunt got it right and so did y'all not see her that's how that question is that he was there like he's hey we're just two guys in our 40s two guys four in the 70s graduated high school in the 90s that's what we are so yeah the black death was

it was bad it was much worse a lot of sayings came from the middle ages that we say today that well maybe you don't but a lot of people do Baker's Dozen

I used to would do we were talking about me being a wrestler and I would A lot of people do. Baker's Dozen? I used to do, we were talking about me being a wrestler, and I would, what would I say? I'd want to be the Baker's Dozen. That was my wrestling move. What is it? I don't remember what it was. What was it?

It was something like that. I was called the baker my wrestler i would have been i would have been the baker and my move would have been the baker's dozen okay you give them one more after they're done yeah it'd been 12 punches and then a stone cold stunner oh a 13th right on top oh wow i like that i just made that up that part I made up right now. Because I don't remember what it was before. But I was the baker. Nate the baker. And then my buddy P, we'd call him PP the pronoun.

And he would come in and teach a lesson on him. I forget what his move was. His nickname was Pee. Pee Pee the pronoun. Pee Pee the pronoun. Nate the baker and Pee Pee the pronoun come in. I can't believe they didn't take off. But basically, bakers were accused of selling underweight loaves,

so legislation was put in place to make sure they didn't. So to make sure they didn't sell underweight, they would start giving an extra piece of bread away with every loaf. so make sure they didn't sell it away. They would start giving an extra piece of bread away with every loaf. Because they were, oh, so they had to give. Yeah. They had to give another one.

Yeah. And then someone's like, I'm doing it already and they will give an extra. Then they for sure probably went low. Uh-huh. Yeah. It was almost like, oh, we were giving you a full and now we're not.

Nest egg. Peasants used to collect eggs from chickens, and they would leave one egg in there to encourage the chickens to continue laying eggs in the same nest. So now it's thought of as like something you keep. Nest egg? Yeah, a little extra money on the side, but it was done to keep an egg in there

to keep the hens from keep the hens laying eggs in that same area i mean just explaining this to these people now like because the nest egg is that's like retirement right like yeah yeah just something like we talk about that oh you're keeping a little nest egg yeah and that's a little mess and they'd be like well that doesn't doesn't make sense because what it means is an actual egg. No, we just get our eggs from the public. From the store. Yeah. Sink or swim.

This is a good one. It's a medieval practice of judging whether a person was innocent or guilty by casting him or her into a lake. The belief was that water would not accept anyone who had rejected the water of baptism. So if the victim sunk, they were innocent, but if they floated, they were guilty. So either way, you're not going to... I mean, were people learning how to swim back then? I think they would tie you. You couldn't just try to swim.

They tie you up and throw you in. If you floated, then you're guilty. Were there people floating? Probably not. I can float. But if you're tied to something. Maybe just your arms. Not weighted down.

I don't think swimming was allowed. If you're looking at it going well one way or the other way there has to be the other way has to have worked or you wouldn't be no other way you know someone's got to go they're gonna you know they're not a person going they're gonna sink everybody sinks you tie a boulder some people must have been floating right yeah right yeah because then you're like oh okay and one guy floats and then they look back at him and like, oh. Where are you at now?

He goes, okay. Well, now I'm a little convinced. Either way, you're probably going to die. You're either going to drown or found guilty and it'll kill you. If they think you are, they think you're a witch anyway. Yeah. Yeah. No one, they, yeah.

I mean, once you get called the witch, there's, I don't think there's much, I don't think you get out of it. You know, you don't, there's no talking. There's not like, all right, everybody's got to like,

kind of looking at you like, why did I even, you know what I mean? Like, you're not going to, you're not going to, once a witch, always a witch.

Like you're, you're not going to rebrand yourself. Yeah. Stereotype. Yeah. There was a lot of people being called witches during the Black Death, by the way. A lot of people thought that they were causing it. Pay through the nose.

Vikings did this. If someone did not pay, they suffered punishment by having their nose slit. It's kind of weird. Your nose slit? that way it's kind of a weird you know your nose slit yeah how i don't i don't know if i want to know okay probably a knife yeah i know but in what way probably cut voldemort yeah okay yeah i don't know vikings did whatever they wanted to do yeah they were kind of their own they they beat at their own drum. Also, probably the Middle Ages.

Probably so. Don't kill the messenger. I think you guys could probably figure that one out. Yeah. A lot of messengers were being killed after they brought

the king bad news. So finally laws were enacted to protect messengers for such events. Oh, that was, don't kill the messenger was a law.

Yeah. Yeah. That's like the kill the messenger was a law. Yeah. Yeah. That's like the, well, then the court gesture. Yeah. He's like, I'll tell them. I'll make it funny. Yeah. Yeah.

Bouncers. Bouncers came from the Middle Ages. Oh, wow. They used to make you give a coin before you walked into a tavern. Coin. Okay. Sorry. What did I say?

Cone. Cone. Basically, cone. Sorry, what did I say? Cone. Basically cone. I don't know. Coin. A coin. Oil. Yeah, I know. I say stuff wrong.

No, I say it like that too. Wheel and wheel, people are still confused about what we're talking about. Wheel and wheel. We've done it twice and they're like, we have no idea what you guys are talking about. A coin, you had to give it the front of the door and the guy at the door would bounce it to see if it was real or not. And if it didn't bounce that means it was a fake coin.

And then now we have bouncers. So the guy at the door was there to check. Now they just do it with IDs. That's why they're called bouncers. They still throw IDs at the ground to see to check yeah yeah now they just do with ids but that's why they're called bouncers yeah it's because they still throw ids at the ground to see if that's crazy that these words stay around i know that is this is a lot of words that you hear get off your high horse stuff you don't even think about i think of that a lot you think about what it means no just what i do a lot of people it was uh i say this one regularly go ahead during

that noble times nobles were given a taller breed of horse to ride to signify their status and authority often commoners would tell each other to get off their high horse when one was acting like a nobleman makes perfect sense i think the measure of the horses you know i think they're just so much bigger you don't need to measure them. They're just like a different breed. Oh, like the, what is the, the Ezra Bush ones? The Clydesdales. Clydesdales.

They could have all been on miniature horses, and they wouldn't know. And then they give the nobles real horses? Yeah. Hmm. I mean. I mean I think if someone listened to this podcast in the middle ages they would turn it off

and they wouldn't even understand what they were hearing because it's technology and they would think it's magic but they would go still bored so bored with just I mean it'd be witchcraft. If we dumped this Nate Land podcast into the 600s,

they would ask, their first thing they would do is find the off button. You want to hear this thing? Yeah. I'm good. Can I give a couple more? Yeah. Caught you red-handed. This phrase comes from the 12th century practice of dipping a thief's hand in berry dye.

The dye was soaked into the skin and stained the hand for several weeks and served as an act of public humiliation of being convicted. All who saw the red-handed person knew he was a thief and a criminal. Wow. You didn't get away with a lot of stuff back then no you know it was what do you mean i mean your hands read for a month after you do something i know but it was probably hard to get caught but if you did get caught you did get caught like yeah you they weren't gonna take it easy yeah you. You're going to publicly know about it. Right. Xerox. That was actually a person.

It was a scribe who copied a bunch of history into different languages. So the company was named after him because they're a copy company. I'll do one more here. Nate's saying it forward like God wrapped us up. Please. There's Xerox oh man i'd like to explain him what goes on at the real xerox store and he goes where y'all write all the stuff down they go oh no most of us can't even write uh he goes wow

uh i'll give one more. Give someone the cold shoulder. In the Middle Ages, lords and nobles were often faced with the common problem of getting rid of unwanted or obnoxious guests at feasts and gatherings. So they would serve the guests a cold shoulder of meat, the toughest and most undesirable portion of a roast. This was a symbol in giving the guests enough of a hint that he or she have overstayed their welcome. Yeah. Mmm, this looks good.

Mmm. Talk about passive aggressive. Did you guys heat? He starts just touching everybody else's. And he's like, huh. And it would just be the guy that eats it. Just goes, no, i love the cold shoulder how many of those guys were just take the hint just won't yeah they go you know what i ask for

the cold shoulder just the toughest part of the one uh all right is there i mean was there other there's like a lot more i mean there's a few more here apple of my eye oh god i thought you meant like more other stuff besides saying all right we'll wrap it up there i thought you did goodness uh wait what does that mean tell me tell me afterwards what is that you might as well say now uh the pupil of the eye was known as the apple because if so it was the most cherished part of the eye it's a big deal yeah i mean we got one more that's the worst one yeah i wasn't gonna tell him but then i thought that's what he was asking i'm sorry i lobbied for it man was like, we'll get him back with this one, Brian.

No, I was going to hit him on the shoulder. Yeah. Yeah, I know. When I said, is there more, I thought that meant like, is there another little fact? All right, I'll throw out one more little fact. I'm just listening to what you're saying. We hit them all. Valentine's Day started during the Middle Ages, at least the romantic Valentine's Day that we know of.

St. Valentine was a saint from much earlier, but Geoffrey Chaucer, the medieval poet, invented the holiday around 1375. He wrote a poem celebrating St. Valentine's. And then a guy in prison, Charles Duke of Orleans, wrote a letter to his wife and called her his Valentine. And that's how the holiday started being celebrated on February 14th. That's when that letter was written? February 14th is known as a day when birds and humans both go in search of mates. That's the day?

Just that day? Just that day. I guess they did back then too? Humans? I mean... Yeah. then too. Humans. I mean. Yeah. We did Middle Ages. We did it. It had some good times.

It's a lot like the Middle Ages. Some highlights, some highs and lows. The Renaissance came after the Middle Ages. That's when things started taking off. Paintings, culture. That'll be our next episode is there yeah it's the renaissance the renaissance right i would like to learn about the renaissance i do like hearing this stuff yeah i do uh i use some of it but i just also think you know people are listening you know and that's that's where you got to. Yeah.

That's who you got to think about. Get off your high horse. Get off your high horse. Not trying to give the cold shoulder here, but this episode was not the apple of my eye. All right, everybody. Thanks for listening to Nate Land. We will talk to you later. Talk to you later.

Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land Podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or a comment. Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetti, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation Consulting in partnership with Center Street Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.