The Nateland Podcast - #57 Alaska

Episode Date: July 28, 2021

This episode, we get back to the states by learning about the state of Alaska. We look into how many Rhode Islands could fit into Alaska, if Alec Baldwin played a bear in a movie, and if Breakfast would get the autograph of a winning dog from the Iditarod.    Co-hosts: Brian Bates ( https://www.instagram.com/brianbatescomic) & Aaron Weber ( https://www.instagram.com/realaaronweber)   Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail]

Hello folks and that doesn't mean that there's been a decision made I'm just doing it that way to start it welcome to Nate Land podcast always, I'm with Aaron Weber, Nate, Brian Bates, Nate Bargatze. Welcome everybody to the podcast. I did hello folks. There's been a lot of people still, you know, figuring it out. When's the re-vote? I don't know. I don't know if I'm going to let anyone. No one's going to know. It's going to be when I decide. It's going to come out of nowhere. Yeah.

And it's just going to pop up and be like, this is it. Yeah. And I'll announce it. I don't know when it's going to be. I'm telling you, I like, you know, we talked about it. I lean to, I like the idea of hello, folks, and the response being that let's go, folks. You know, when the person mentioned that with our buddy Greg Garcia, who's just starting a new show, he said he likes that, too.

Like the response. He thought that well when he heard the comment. He's like, oh, that's what I think, too. The response to it in the wild. Yeah. When we're out in the wild, it's hello, oh, that's what I think, too. The response to it in the wild. Yeah. When we're out in the wild, it's hello, folks. Let's go, folks. Okay.

Huh? I like it. A call and response? A call and response. But maybe it's just going to be let's go, folks. Maybe it will be you decide what you – it's pick your own adventure. You do what you want to do. Okay. What if it's hello i think i've accepted that we'll never pick one and this will just be it'll be a constant debate it probably

always be hello i mean that's yeah there's not enough i think we may have to go underground yeah well let's go folks movement seems small but i will say i get tagged in so many things of people saying let's go now you're getting those just i didn't realize how much of an epidemic this was oh it's bad and now it's just uh it's all i hear tom brady the other day did some video him yesterday throwing football and he said let's go yeah well i if you can throw a video, if you can throw a football like he did into that. You're saying he deserves it? Yeah. To me, the let's go with him is like an athlete is like, let's go.

You're on the field. Like the greatest of all time, you can say it. People are saying it. You get a shopping cart that's not got a squeaky wheel, and you go, let's go. And then you're, finally, I get to get around this grocery store and not be a nightmare. And that's when people are saying, let's go and then you're finally i gotta get around this grocery store and not be a nightmare that's when people are saying let's go and that's the guy that should be stopped you gotta go okay you can't do that it's the like you know if it stays in the athletic world it's it that's where it belongs yeah you can't be you know working at and fries get done quicker than you thought.

You go, let's go. All right. You get to go. Your boss manager goes, hey, you close that ice cream machine a little bit earlier tonight. Let's go. Which maybe that would be a big deal. They don't have to clean it. It's four o'clock in the afternoon.

Hey, go ahead and clean the ice cream machine. Let's go. And then they go clean the ice cream machine so maybe that's where the problem is with these things is uh is that the let's go tom brady that video i guess it's real right i don't i guess people are saying i mean it doesn't seem like i think they could do that yeah it's pretty amazing it's pretty if anybody hasn't seen it uh he's just in those the if anybody those football they have those two wheels that spin and shoot a football out and the guys catch it so he throws it into it and then it spits back to him and he catches it and then throws it back in it it's pretty crazy three times three times the

the but i could see it when he went back but i mean you know those guys are yeah i mean that's how good they are like so uh but i mean would it just you know if you barely miss i feel like it's going to knock it out probably wasn't the first take let's yeah yeah i mean even if he did it for hours i mean it'd be very funny to go try it and then be like oh it's actually unbelievably easy like if the wheel he just spins the wheels it in if he spins the wheels the other way and you're like well you can't not not make it like it's the hard thing is to make it not stick in there that would you find that out yeah that would be if i was uh if you wanted to get under tom Brady's skin, they should – like another quarterback should be like and just like have his baby throw it in there and go.

Just because you haven't seen this. No one's seen that. No one knows how real – like, you know, if someone makes some crazy videos, sometimes you could be like, yeah, just no one knows what that is, and it's a very simple thing. I don't – I have no example, though. though well i had never seen anybody try to do that so you're right you're right like who knows how hard that i i'm hoping that it is hard it looks hard yeah so it looks impressive i'm not saying i'm not impressed by it but it would

be funny if you're like dude everybody didn't he post a video recently of like nailing three long putts in a row um and i haven't seen that but that doesn't surprise me and i mean i was really impressed with that yeah uh well the one now phil mickelson made a bunch of putts which was 10 foot putts it was like everyone he made uh for 10 footers was like you know whatever money on that match the tournament that they played in, whatever money would go to a charity. And Phil, they just kept setting the ball down, and Phil just kept hitting and makes, I think, every one except the last one. So maybe made 20 or 15 in a row.

Ten-foot putts. That's crazy. Yeah, it's insane. And just to be going, just that repetitive, where none of them slide off in the last one. But it was like kind of the last time. I mean, it's pretty wild.

What would that be comparable to in basketball, like a 30-foot shot? I mean, probably just – I mean, you know, I was going to say like free throws if you make 10 in a row. But, I mean, they can make – Oh, yeah. Steph Curry could hit threes forever and not miss one. I don't know, forever. But you know what I mean.

Yeah. Ten in a row threes, I guess. I mean, ten feet is not long, but it means putting is hard. But if it's a straight putt, that guy should be – Phil should be able to make – if you're at that level, you should be able to make these. That's what it should be. How many in a row did you hit?

I don't – I mean 15, 20, something like that. You should be. Again, maybe you go try it and you're like, oh, it's actually – yeah. You find the right putt. That's when you go to like Dick's Sporting Goods. You go to a sporting goods store and you let them – you can practice putt. I swear our Golf Galaxy, their holes on the practice putting green, I think they lean in. Because you'd be trying to putter out,

and you're like, you just drain like four 40-footers, and you're like, this might be – I have to go buy this putter. That's like the male version of skinny mirrors. I was about to say, yeah. Did we talk about that on the podcast? Is that where I learned about that? Skinny mirrors? Yeah, the mirror.

Seinfeld. Oh. TV show. I don't remember. I know the show. Yeah. Is there an learned about that? Skinny mirrors? Yeah, the mirror. Seinfeld. Oh. TV show. I know the show. Yeah. Is there an episode about that? Yeah. Okay.

Elaine tries on a dress. Okay. In a skinny mirror? In a skinny mirror. But I think for women, that is, with shopping, I think that is something that department stores do.

What were you talking about? I was talking about, yeah, you go to the dressing room, you think you look great, and then you go home and you look like garbage how do they make a skinny mirror i don't know if they do that like a fun house mirror you've been in a fun house well i mean that would be i wouldn't that be pretty obvious like that you're going uh you just zipped up you go you got my weight is i need to put on some weight.

And then you're delusional. Then you go, I'm going to go eat. I look malnourished. My head is huge. My head, by the way, gigantic. Yeah. I think you just dial that back a little bit. Whatever that is, you just dial it back just enough.

I mean, I have a hard time thinking that they could have the lighting and stuff i think make you look really good i don't know if there's skinny mirrors i think there are you just know if your only experience is from this there's skinny mirrors oh yeah oh really it leans different. Oh. Oh. It's at a little bit of an angle. Yeah, and so then you're like, oh, I look, yeah. Wow. So the bigger the angle, that's how big you are. The big girl walks in, they go, give us two seconds. You hear, they're like, a construction guy goes in.

He's like, like a dolly. Hold on real fast. Ma'am, two seconds, all right? We'll be, and she walks in. He's like, like a dolly. Hold on real fast. Ma'am, two seconds, all right? We'll be. And she walks in. Come on back. Just banging like hammering. And then she goes in.

God, I look unbelievable. That mirror is. There's a team back there with ropes. Hold it. Hold it. Guy's sweating. Easy fella. Easy.

And that's just like like mission impossible when he goes and can't touch the they're behind they're holding that like just sweat like and he's just letting it go because she's almost died and then she goes i'll take it and then she walks out boom everything falls what was that nothing nothing let's let. Let's ring you up real fast. Hold it. All right, psychology episode. These are the comments from the... Didn't someone tell me not to do that?

And then someone said yes. You said someone said that, but I don't think it was us. I think it's good to do that. And then someone said yes. You said someone said that, but I don't think it was us. I think it's good to do it. Yeah. I feel like someone said don't do it, and then people were like, no, you should. We're juggling three different episodes this time. Yeah, we got a lot of comments.

It's been a while. I feel like I haven't seen you guys in a long time. I know. It's been a couple. Three weeks. Three weeks. Yeah, three weeks. Yeah. We're talking about, three weeks. Yeah.

We're talking about all the stuff we did. But let's first talk about you guys. Meg. Psychology episode Meg. My husband was not a fan of the pod, but I dragged him down to Nashville anyway. And he laughed so hard the whole time. It was awesome that Nate's wife greeted us at the door and the guys met with the crowd afterwards. Thank you for the much met with the crowd afterwards.

Thank you for the much needed comedy therapy. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, we did meet and greets. And I think, I mean, I think everybody stayed, which was cool. Yeah, Laura's gifts were a big hit. My wife passed out gifts when they came in. I don't think people knew we were doing the year anniversary show. So they were like, oh.

But we, yeah, passing out those gifts. I know we mentioned it twice, I think, in the episode. Because we talked about it to two different audiences. And then we put together those shows. But it was, yeah, it was a big hit. It was a good time. Abby Tilford. It was so painful to hear y'all talk about Pavlov's dog

and never mention the cold open from the office where Jim basically does this experiment on Dwight with his computer noise and Altoids. Yeah, I do remember that episode. How did we forget that? I was thinking of it. I don't know. Oh, that counts. Sorry, Abby.

Aaron was thinking of it. Well, it's even worse. Yeah. Should have mentioned it. Abby should have known that one of us was probably thinking it in our heads. Bryce LK.

I was hoping little Albert would come up. I've taken a few psychology classes and that's always stood out because I'm pretty sure that's how you create

super villains. If I remember correctly, it was a nurse's baby that she had to bring to work, and a psychologist would experiment with him either under the guise of helping to watch him or just sneaking in the experiments when mom wasn't around. Worst babysitter of all time. Yeah, it's terrible.

My babysitter, when I was a kid, she would smoke cigarettes. Really? Oh, yeah. Would you go out there with her she uh she'd like mine she'd give me mine she'd light hers off her next one on and just give me her half smoked one because i was a baby i can't smoke the whole thing and uh we'd sit out there and watch the construction workers go by. Boys working on the stoop. But that was like, you know, so when I was – I mean, I think I was a one or a two.

Yeah. And my parents had to work. They just had no money, so they – Just found somebody? They just found somebody. This lady, I think, just kept a bunch of kids and is like, you know, would be like, can we give one more? And she's like, yeah, sure, absolutely. And throw them in.

And I just got thrown in the mix. And she would just smoke in the house. I mean, can you imagine? Can you imagine? In the house? Oh, yeah. It was her house, right? It was her house.

Still. I feel like that was probably more acceptable. Oh, yeah. In like 80, 81. I mean, it wasn't even. oh yeah and like 80 81 i mean it wasn't even you wouldn't have even you would have maybe not wanted me to be a baby to be around the smoke just because you don't want to because you smell like a cigarette the whole time but i don't think you're thinking of you're not thinking about the actual health like the health of it yeah i don't think any of that was on the table then uh i mean

i think my mom said she walked in one time and was like all right where's uh nathan uh and then the lady was like i don't you know like and had to like it had to find me yeah i was like under the couch like a cat playing with the ashtray i mean that was you know i've been i talked about cigarettes a little bit i like um you you know, I mean, you shouldn't smoke. If you don't smoke, don't smoke. But when you see an old timer still smoking, I'm kind of like, all right, good for him. Some guy in his 90s or something. Yeah, just hanging on.

You're like, you just don't see it too much. And you're like, yeah, man. Like a veteran's hat on. You're like, that guy's earned it. He got grandfathered in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you can't be new and smoke. That's crazy.

But if you're old, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You've got the good cigarettes. This is the opposite of good advice. But no one's here. This is where people are going to tell their kids, just do everything they say that's cool.

Opposite of that, you'll be in pristine shape. You will be the healthiest human being alive. Connor Smith, the test about delayed gratification has recently been disproven in multiple other studies. The quality of home life and the financial stability of the kids' families were overwhelmingly the determining factor in the success of the children tested. It's amazing you have to do a test to determine a good home life might lead to more success. Really? Yeah.

I don't remember. That was the cookie. The marshmallow. And then if you wait. 15 minutes. They said the kids that waited had higher ACT scores and stuff like that. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, that's just such a long, like you do that test and you're like, all right, let's see what happens in 18 years. Like it's that long of a, you know. And then you're like, did they do better? And you're like, they did. All right. You know, I don't know. And then it had to do another 18 years to disprove that study.

Yeah, it was, after 18 years, he goes, I don't, that doesn't make sense. And the guy's like, this is all I've been working. After 18 years, he goes, that doesn't make sense. And the guy's like, this is all I've been working on for 18 years. Well, he did 15 minutes with one cookie and two cookies, and then he puts it away. 18 years later, he comes back. All right. Let's see how we did.

And the ones that took this stuff slap him. And he goes, that's what I would think out of you next. That's how he goes uh yeah he marks it down figures you took the i don't know if you remember but you took the marshmallow a little earlier than everybody else and that shows when he's next and they come in polite and he goes oh you were one of the you waited you waited guy's been busy. The scientist has been busy twice, psychologist. He had two big days.

He's late for both days. You're like, you only have to work two times in 18 years. And he goes, I know, but it's... If he makes me be late, it'll be me because I just forget that I have to be in that day. Is Weiss furious at him? Yeah. Still not going? No?

No. No. I picked... What if that is you they go all right you got to spend your time on a on a if you were a psychologist and then you got to pick one thing to do and this guy was so smart he picked this so he's like i don't i mean just the sweetest gig so i have one hectic day when they're like five and then 13 years later i just see how they do hectic baby really you're just handing out cookies to five-year-olds and see if they take it or not but if your days are a little swamp if your other days are zero yeah then that feels anything's a yeah that's that's the super bowl and then you go all right you mark on a calendar 13 years, 9 a.m.

You have a calendar with 13 years ahead. He has to. Licks his... Yeah, he has to. Eric Kindred. The Stanford prison experiment was a joke of a psychology experiment actually the doctors skewed the results by doing things to make them act the way they did i wonder how most of us still remember it as a legit experiment when it's been long since proven not to be

i guess i'm not helping that cause who decides if it's a legit experiment eric kindred i guess it came out later the whole idea of it doesn't sound like it's a good idea oh yeah of course i mean it sounds like a nightmare yeah that's what he's talking about yeah just the idea of the that they shouldn't be doing it but i think some of the students maybe later admitted that they faked some of their just because they knew that's what the teacher wanted yeah like that and you're having to act like a prisoner and so you're like well how can we get this moving along exactly and so you you ramp it up a notch what you would have to do because the other thing that actually makes a ton of sense if the experiment is actually nothing because that means stanford students are so stupid

that they can't that this guy goes he gets into stanford and then you go now you're a prisoner and he goes i don't know how to act anymore and then he just becomes a lunatic yeah like you i mean you would need to really like lock them up for a month or something yeah and i mean they really they can't, they can't leave. They didn't do that, right? They let them leave or something? No, I think it was supposed to be two weeks where they're supposed to stay.

Over a couple hours. It's like when Dwight pees in the corner of the elevator. Immediately. He's got to establish a pee corner. That makes a ton of sense now. You ever see that show 60 Days In? You ever see that? No.

Where they send regular people into prison and just see if they can last 60 days. And there's this guy who was a school teacher, and he was talking so much smack. He's like, this will be no problem. This will be like a vacation. I get to just read books. He immediately got put in solitary confinement within like two days for causing trouble. And he just had to stay in solitary confinement. It was hilarious.

So now we have a TV show about the Stanford prison experiment. Essentially. But in a real prison. But even that I question. Did I not do that for television? What's he doing after two days? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how much is fake and how much is real.

Can you just do anything on TV now? I guess so. Because now you can just be like, hey, what if we shot a guy? Yeah. What if we hunt a human on TV? And I mean, some networks like, all right. I mean, if it's, you know, pay-per-view, I think we could do it. Sign a waiver.

I mean, just sending people to prison. Yeah. As just a fun, so people can sit and eat popcorn and watch at night. It's a fun show. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty entertaining. Where's it at? A&E, I think it was on.

Oh, that's, yeah. It's coming after Bordick. That had A&E written all over it. That was A&E. That's what they're about. A&E's all over it. That was A&E. That's what they're about. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Finding just the mess of people and then just hoarders.

And then just exploiting them. Yeah. And it's a good time. Yeah, it's a pretty good dream. You enjoy it, don't you? No. Jennifer Weiss. No offense, but I'm 100% sure Nate would be one of the guards beating students.

And the students would definitely be Brigadoon. Brigadoon? I think that's right. She's saying you get on board really quick with it. Yeah. I just change character and now. Get back! Get back!

Bethany Mix. My best first date story involves a guy trying that 30-second question. I stare a bit on me. He tried to play it off as something his roommate who was in school for psychology wanted to know. I had happened to read an article about it before that date and knew what he was up to immediately, but didn't let on that I knew. Three hours later, after he had asked all 36 questions while sitting in a booth at Topgolf, not hitting golf balls.

This is like a new story. We walked out to the parking lot to our separate cars, and I was wondering when the eye contact would happen. He asked me to sit with him in his car. I couldn't say no, knowing what was coming, and wanted to see this thing through to the end so we looked into each each other's eyes for four minutes inside his hard top convertible while i was internally dying dying of laughter i uh politely left immediately after neither say

we are not married and there was no date number two i'm not sure what the validity. Validity. Validity. Validity. Validity. Validity sounds a lot funner. Yeah. You know? Validity. I bet if you gave validity a choice, it would choose validity.

Because it would be like, I'd appreciate that. Like, that's a little more. And you go, no, you're validity. He goes, come on, man. He goes, no one cares about validity let me be validity that's like that's validity his son valid too you don't say valid yeah so he goes valid he goes perfect i'm validity and they go no your validity because that's stupid of the claims that those questions make you fall in love but they sure do make a great story date story i think uh bethany sounds like a fun girl i was gonna say she's like a comic

yeah she did it i love it she's like yeah it's crazy too to think she's like i just happened to read an article about it and so they're going to top golf it's like on her phone yeah it's just so kind of crazy to be like you're just she's he's like, I was on my phone and I saw, like, you just wouldn't, before the internet, you wouldn't see that. Right. There's no, like, in my head, I almost, if I'm thinking this is an old story, it's crazy that you think, you realize that like, oh, people dating have only headphones. And like, you know, like, so like, Bethany's like, oh yeah, I was just on my phone. Like, that's all I've ever known.

Yeah. I mean, I did it all, but. Yeah. You did like the old fantasy football league dating where you have to go check the newspaper every day to see if she's going to call him back. He goes, look at the box score to see how the date went. Did you ever do a speed dating? I don't know.

No. So you didn't do it all? Well, I just, I've been the old way before the phone and the new way with the phone. What was it before the phone? Just had to call people. Cold call? Yeah. I just go through the phone book.

Yeah. Hello. Cold call people. Hello. This is Brian Bates. Hold on. Before you hang up, I want to run this by you. I did like George Costanza selling the computers when he and Lord Brian were in his dad's garage.

Yeah. Would you like my computer? No. Why not? Okay. That makes great sense. Yeah. What would you do?

Online dating, but once it started online, what would you do before online dating? Either friends would fix you up or you'd go to bars or stuff. Yeah. Yeah. But there was like- Just kind of sidle up to somebody. Just walk around.

It's also – Well, I didn't, but – Yeah. He's just out in his parking lot. Wait until they walk out and then Brian gets out of his car. Excuse me. Runs up to him. Sidle him.

Yeah. Hi. I noticed you inside. And they're like, huh? And this is when like Jeffrey Dahmer is like rolling. Like, I mean, it's like – I mean, that's how he – You go to a bar in Chicago, wasn is when like Jeffrey Dahmer is like rolling. Like, I mean, it's like, that's how, I mean, that's how he, he go to a bar in Chicago. Wasn't Jeffrey Dahmer?

Like, I think he, I've been to the bar where he would sit and watch people. I think there was classifieds though, where like. You would call and they put the, yeah. Seinfeld has that word. She wrote her. Well, that's the, on the. Speedo? No. When the, I was that word. She wrote her. Well, that's the on the speedo. No.

When the I don't know. It doesn't matter. But yeah, that that is. Yeah. Did you do fantasy football where y'all did the box score, right? Yeah. I've been in a league for 26 years now. Same league.

And when we started, you literally had to go through the newspaper and tally it up to find out. Who won. Yeah. For like the first probably eight years of our league, we did that. Yeah. So you're just watching the games. You have no idea how well you're doing. I mean, you're trying to keep up with your head.

Yeah. There was something great about the box score. Like there's something great about waiting the next day. Yeah. And like, you know, I mean, obviously it's better, but I looked at some box scores this past weekend. There was something great about the box score. There's something great about waiting the next day. I mean, obviously it's better, but I looked at some box scores this past weekend to see what's happened. So usually going into Monday Night Football, if you have a guy, you know what you need.

You know what he needs to do. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That's funny. Discovery episodes. This is the comments on that. Neil Curran

I took a class in college On accidental discoveries The class was called Serendipitous Science Nailed that one And it was pretty rough True story at the end of the semester The professor pulled me aside and told me

Endearingly that I reminded him Of his late son. I thought that was nice until my grades came in and I got a C minus. Yeah. So maybe the guy didn't care for his son. Maybe so. I guess that's the story. Maybe so.

It was very average. Yeah. And that's it. But he goes, I thought I reminded you of your late son. He goes, yeah, and he would have got a C- as well. Y'all both put in about the same amount of effort. Yeah, my son's a loser. Yeah, yeah.

Phil Towler. My favorite episodes are the ones where Nate gets exasperated by the topic or generally where the conversation is going. The Discovery episode is a perfect example. When Nate said, are we done? And Babylon Brian Bates comes back with Velcro. I was in stitches. The lack of direction is what makes this gold, Jerry.

D. Mary. Or Marie. D. Marie. D. Mary. M-A-R-I-E. It's Marie, isn't it? You nailed serendipitous. I was like, this guy's getting better.

He's getting good. Marie tripped you up. D. Marie. D. Marie. That's a good name. It is. D. Marie. D. Marie.

I bet people think that's her first name. Yeah, it's like a- She goes, I'm D. Marie. And they go, oh, what's your last name? No, it's Marie. And then it's just, I bet her whole life is like, you know, just frustrated. It's just how many times you have to explain that your whole life. So D, let's stop.

Let's walk into another room. And then you walk to the person, last name Marie. That's how much separation you have to put it in. How you doing? My name's D. Follow me. Let's go in here. Talk about something else.

How's the weather? Where you from? Marie. And they go, oh, it's that. So it's two names. I am a special education teacher in Michigan. And Nate, you are a true role model. It is inspiring to see an adult who has learned to read despite possibly having dyslexia and never knowing you had it.

Sadly, it may be more common than we think. P.S. Light colored printer paper or colored overlays is a known strategy for dyslexia. Larger print may also help. You're going to see me reading one comment. It's like, I'm a special education teacher in Michigan. And Nate, you are a true role model like that's how big the brand gets is every it is in spy whoa i just can't yeah stack of paper this yeah all different colors yeah you just can't. Stack of paper this big.

All different colors. You just can't see. You finally can see me on camera. Just coming in. And done. Nailed everything. You ever see somebody make it a speech at like a wedding or something, and you're like, God, this is going on so long.

And then you see like they have like 10 more papers coming in. You're like, oh, going on so long and then you see like they have like 10 more papers you're like oh no man that's the what we talked about that when the when someone says i'll get to that yeah i'll get to that later and you're like oh no there's gonna be a later there's gonna be a later we're not even to that yeah i've heard someone say i'll get to that later and they get to it pretty quick which is kind of funny yeah you're happy that they get to it quick but then it's like that's not later don't say that you know don't be like i'm gonna get to that later but right now all right i'll talk about that and then they get into it you're like let's just get into it i think people put that stuff in there when because they're that's writing out a speech so when you write out it doesn't ever sound you write much more like professional like

you you don't talk like that yeah nobody does nobody does and so that's what i always learned with writing comedy i didn't like writing it out word for word because when i write out for word for word i would have like a lot of jokes in there and i remember even thinking like oh these are all good jokes but it but then if i try to say it like that, it was like, this sounds terrible. And even the joke is funny written. It's not funny when I say it. But you can put more jokes in because when you look at it, even like when I do a snide show and you got to type out your set for the lawyers,

so they have to like for standards and practices or whatever. So they have to approve it. Like you sit there and you'll be, I'll be like typing my set out. And A, you see, I'll say like a lot and so you see where how many times you do that but uh you can then be like oh maybe if i added a joke here and you're like no it just doesn't flow like that you're like uh it doesn't work like that uh mike wilson i'm a podiatrist i don't know podiatrist podiatrist that's how that's spelled wow how would you think podiatrist is spelled podiatD? Podiatrist is bad. I was hoping you were going to say what it is,

and it would be something I'd never heard of. That's where I was at with podiatrist. I'm a podiatrist. Okay. You wouldn't go to that guy, would he? To a podiatrist? Podiatrist. Podiatrist sounds so much better. Yeah. I'm a podiatrist. She's like, oh, this guy's a pretty a podiatrist podiatrist podiatrist sounds so much better yeah i'm a podiatrist she's like oh this guy's a pretty good podiatrist and if you're like my uncle's a podiatrist

what did he oh i think you can't the only way to become that you can't go to college you go to college you're already out of the running for doing a podiatrist i'm a podiatrist. And yes, the gold standard for diagnosing gout is taking a joint sample. And I fully endorse Nate jabbing a needle into Aaron's foot for science. We'll do it. We'll do it. That's a real scientist.

Doctors said that. Podiatrists. According to Seinfeld, that's not a real doctor. Yeah. What did he say? Didn't Elaine date a podiatrist or something? Yeah, no, it was the skin. He dated a dermatologist.

Yeah. But didn't Elaine date a podiatrist or something? I don't know. And she didn't like it because they didn't consider him a real doctor? Yeah, I don't know. Okay. Jess Gay. Nate taking the quiz off the internet reminded me when michael scott was performing an intervention on meredith and asked have you ever

questioned the teachings of the mormon church it's a great episode yeah all right 1980s uh these are the last ones Eric Barden This podcast needs a disclaimer that says Don't listen to this podcast if working out I was bench pressing when Donnie said He got an autograph from a high school basketball player During the 1980s episode

I lost it and dropped the dumbbells Nearly crushing my chest This isn't the first time I dropped a barbell on my foot During a previous episode out of pure laughter I don't do abs on Wednesday because of how hard I laugh. It's very nice. I mean, I almost got killed, but I appreciate it, Eric,

and you still fought through it. Teresa Brown. I was about 14 when Dallas was a big show in the 80s. My parents did not allow me to watch it. I made a case that I wanted to watch that show, and they said if you talked to the pastor about it, and he said it was okay that I could watch it. So we go to church and talk to Pastor Tim,

and he says that he watches it every week, so I finally got to watch Dallas. Victory. That's pretty good. I mean, to know to do that at 14, to make a case. That's funny that the pastor was like was like yeah i love it i mean that was like a nighttime soap yeah yeah it was a pretty big show but there's just it was a huge show like it was the number one show yeah you know but there was a lot of i mean it's not that

risque now but at the time yeah like it seemed like oh there was it was like were you allowed to watch it yeah i mean well i mean he is he was just graduating college i mean what are you talking about he didn't live at home nobody tells me what to do about dallas at that point yeah yeah my parents had if i wanted to see a movie they had like two families that they would call and just see like what are your thoughts are you letting your kid do this yeah yeah and i could always be like it was the glomboskis was their name and oh and they wouldn't let me do something i go well the josh gets to do it and they're like oh okay we'll let your parents just kind of got lazy they just yeah they just trusted that family yeah trusted you they trusted you and then they got lazy about calling. Oh, that is, I never thought about that. Yeah.

They did trust me a lot, I guess. You figured out what the thing was. Sometimes they would call, but I never lied about that. Oh, okay. Yeah. Sometimes they'd call and verify. Yeah, yeah. Well, then, but if they trusted you and they knew you weren't lying, you said, Josh is

doing it. You know, because they could, I think a lot of parenting is, I would be willing if your dad was like, yeah, I never really called, but he called maybe enough to that. You're like, well, he will call.

Yeah. So then he knows like, that's probably what it was. Yeah. Can you think of an example? Remember something? I wanted to see a movie called kangaroo Jack. With Paul Hogan?

This was a, I don't know paul he was a came out of like the early 2000s all right okay is that the one you're thinking of i feel like fairly recently and i remember my parents had like some catholic website where like you they had reviews for movies and how inappropriate stuff was yeah and they wouldn't let me go see it and but josh was getting to see it so they called and they go you're letting them go see what'd you read about this movie that's the kind of yeah investigative work they do yeah well you know get to the bottom of that yes or an example i know i know that was my fault yeah just a quick one maybe filter it out and go

the example's not that good. David Locke. It sounds like Nate has a problem with people enjoying movies that he doesn't like. Yeah, there you go. Perfect timing. There you go. It's right on. It's enjoying, what was that about?

That's about your 30-minute rant about Marvel movies. Oh, yeah. Yeah. In the 1980s episode. Yeah. We had two or three on board with you. Finally, someone said it. And about 50 that was like,

I'm furious. Yeah. Yeah, sorry. No, people love that world. I get it. It's like Star Wars. It's like all that. People love the, you know, enjoy. You were talking about how redundant, repetitive everything is.

And then at the end, you're like, they should make a new Iron Man or something. Transformers. Yeah, Transformers. I would watch all the Transformer movies. Yeah, you don't have to listen to me. If you like Marvel, I get it. I get the idea of it. I guess you're on a journey with it.

It's fun if you're like, you like it. Yeah, there's like 20-something movies like, well, they all like it. Yeah. There's like 20 something movies that all led up to Avengers end game. Like they were all tied in, in their own way. And then the payoff was that final Avengers movie. Yeah. And so now it's done.

Yeah. I mean, obviously they're still making Marvel movies and they're trying to find ways to keep it going. But for, from Iron Man, the first one up until Endgame, 20-something movies later, they all tied in.

Man, how do you remember? I don't know. They're very good. Yeah. Maybe I don't appreciate it. Maybe I need to go through it at all. Is that Spider-Man too? Mm-hmm.

Iron Man? Batman and Iron Man, do they ever cross paths? Batman's DC. DC. Yeah. So that will be the next big trick is if they can get DC. If they team up.

If they team up. Have they ever had that happen? I think, I don't know, maybe in the comic books. Yeah. I mean, those are two different companies,

so they probably not, or maybe people created their own scenarios where DC and marvel fight each other there have been crossovers in comic books yeah in the 90s but but nothing and nothing in the movies yeah so i mean dc tried it now with justice league that's their version of avengers but that's not but that's their so they're a team yeah but i mean like you need so spider-man's marvel dc is superman so you need them to meet yeah i mean they all live in the same city i don't know how they're not crossing paths

there's a lot of stuff online about how are they not you know i mean how are they they live next to each other they don't just see spider-man's whipping around and batman's like i know he's more of night owl yeah he wasn't but superman's working on the newspaper uh-huh yeah he's not covering these spider-man stories peter parker was when he had newspaper photographer. He was a photographer, yeah. They probably are in the same story. Yeah. Maybe that's why. You know a movie I watched that I think I was on board with?

Glory. No. This is why I don't listen to me when I talk about Marvels. I don't know what I'm talking about. Madea's Witness Protection Plan. to me when i talk about marvels and just i don't know what i'm talking about uh uh medea's witness protection plan tyler perry i watched the whole thing yeah it was a good watch the whole thing on tv where i had a fast i i let it get a little bit ahead so i could fast forward through the commercials on bravo i was completely on board with it the whole thing i loved it yeah it's good denise what's it about what's the plot

of this what do you think it's about i'm gonna guess medea has to go and witness protection actually not true actually opposite oh she has to bring Oh, she has to bring in people? She has to bring in people. Oh. Is that Eugene Levy? Yeah. And it's like, you know what? I was trying to think, like, why do I like, why am I, I'm watching it, you know, and I'm like, I don't know. I just enjoyed it.

And I feel like she's very, or Madea, Tyler Perry. She's very, or Medea, Tyler Perry. But Medea is just kind of like, you know, she's talking like the youngest daughter, Eugene Levy's daughter is like a spoiled brat. And she's like, Dad, I hate you. And Medea's like, oh, she said I hate to her father. She's like, he's like, Medea's whole thing is I'm about to punch this kid in the face for talking like and i think it was like that it was like that's almost like i you miss like you miss that like kind of like politically incorrect kind of uh you know like

the medea as a you know they i feel like with tyler perry like an older black lady can just be like on this, can be like, you ain't going to talk to your father like that. They still have that very funny way. And now all this other stuff is like, you can't say that stuff about kids. If your kid talks back to you, it's your fault. You can't do this stuff. And it's just a very simplistic way of just being like, I'm going to spank you. It's like an old, you know, would be an old hacky joke,

but now it's not because you can't do that stuff anymore. So then for some reason, it was like I enjoyed watching it again. Like it felt like, you know, when did they make that movie? I don't know when they made it. I don't like it. But like it's like, you know, it's just like very old school. 2012. So maybe you could say that.

It's a different time. It's a different time. So it was like almost like that's what I enjoyed. Yeah. And like that's what I was like, I liked seeing that. I get that. When I watch stuff with Lucy, I get furious the way kids talk to their parents in some of these movies. Yeah.

And I go, dude, does anyone talk to their family like this? I just, I've never seen it. Yeah, I don't know. But it's like that. You can't talk like that. Yeah, the kids run the house. They run the family. They cuss in front of them doing drugs.

It's like, golly. Yeah, I think that's what made me like it. We watched – Ruth had never seen Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. We watched that this weekend. I feel like that holds up. It's still very good. John Candy is so...

I know we've talked about it on here. He's so good at it. It's like Ted Lasso to me. He's very positive, and you just want to like him. You see season two of Ted Lasso yet? Not yet. It's out, though, everybody. Season two, Ted Lasso.

Mary Ellen Goodwin. I was glad to hear Nate say he was not allowed to watch The Simpsons. I would have let my kids watch it either. I'm nailing talking about something before the talk. Yeah, you are. And I'm not even reading these until it's really worked out. Kendall Eden. Imagining Beachbody with his NKOTB shirt.

New kids. New kids on the block shirt on in high school honestly made me think i would have been one of his best friends i always tried to uh i tried to go out of my way to be nice to the weirdy the weird nerdy kids that nobody wanted to be seen with i'm not saying i would have hung out with the guy or anything, considering obviously he's a loser. I'm adding some stuff in. A second? Oh, yeah. Maybe I didn't say that.

I have trouble. You know I have trouble reading, dude. Or even considered him one of my friends. I just think you would have considered me one of his best friends for talking to him. I like the honesty in that, about Kendall Eaton. The honesty that Kendall, you'd be like, all right, so y'all would be friends.

He's like, like no obviously not dude he's a loser but i would let him think it yeah you know what i mean i probably have some of that you probably have a yeah like that's that's like very honest to go like no dude i would i would let him wear my shirt with my face which he might do because he would ask for autographs of children. I had a few people say, man, I felt sorry for you in high school. I actually love my high school years. Yeah. People weren't as mean to me about that shirt as they should have been, quite frankly.

I mean, people are actually pretty understanding, considering. Yeah. And I had fun in high school. Our 30-year class reunion is this weekend. Are you going? I'm going to be out of town with him, but I'm on the committee. I prepare everything, but I'm not going to be able to be there. It's actually our 31, but last year got delayed because of COVID.

Well, let me read these, and then I want to talk about that. So, yeah, this week, well, I mean, I guess we're kind of just catching up. We haven't been here. We haven't got to talk to everybody. So you're not going to the big reunion? No, I mean, I would like to, but I also want to do these shows with you and Leanne. Yeah, me and Leanne Morgan are going to be in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. That show's sold out.

And then Tupelo, Mississippi. We're doing an arena. There's tickets still available for that. So you can go to my website and see all that stuff. All that stuff we added an Opry to. The third show in Nashville. That's crazy, man. Two Oprys and a Ryman.

Said only me and Johnny Cash. Only two people have ever done that. Really? I don't know. That sounds crazy, man. Two Oprys and a Ryman said only me and Johnny Cash. The only two people who have ever done that. Really? I don't know. That sounds good, doesn't it? It sounded awesome. It sounded awesome, didn't it? I was like, yeah. No, you know what?

I'll be honest with you. Johnny Cash could never do it. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah. Yeah, Johnny Cash wished he could have done something like that. I don't know who's done it. Yeah. I'll be honest with you. I don't know no one's i don't know who's done it yeah uh i'll be honest i don't know if anybody's ever tried yeah like they're uh garth brooks sold out 50 bridge tones or titan stadiums yeah uh so yeah we added that we've added some other shows uh it's all going

out uh but i mean i feel bad that you're missing your 30 year, you know. I mean, do you see these people kind of regularly anyway? I mean, I see some of my closest friends pretty regularly. How many people did you graduate with? It was about 325. How many are alive? 14. Only 14. Man, Wendell Downs.

Well, a lot of y'all had to go to war. He got drafted. A lot of them got drafted right out of school. Can you believe that? You know, I was, we'll talk about this in the 90s episode, but when the Gulf War happened, like 91, I was the age where if there was a draft, I would have been drafted. That war would have been a lot different. Were you worried about it at that point?

Not really, but there was some talk about having to do a draft or something like that. I don't know. There's not much talk. I don't know. There was a lot of talk about it. Some talk, I said. Yeah.

I mean, it would come up. In the Lebanon Herald. Then they saw the guys that were the age, and they were like, no, we're definitely not doing a draft. Let's just try to do it ourselves. What if we go younger? And they were like, no, we're definitely not doing the draft. Let's just try to do it ourselves. What if we go younger?

I always thought I almost – I wish I would have joined the military. I almost did. Which I got to go over and do shows overseas, which was nice because I felt like I got to do something. But if I would have joined, my fourth year would have been 9-11. Like I never would have joined my fourth year would have been 9-11 like i never would have got out yeah like you know it's kind of you just start like so i was 18 i'm kind of crazy your fourth your last year that you have to serve 9-11 happens and you're just like i mean wow you know uh it could have all been different yeah uh but But, Aaron, any wars happen in the year?

Yeah. There's a lot of wars going on still, right? I was never worried about being drafted. Culture wars. Yeah, the war on Christmas. Yeah. Yeah, you guys get your feelings. When was the first time your feelings got hurt, Aaron?

What's up? Aaron, tell us the first time you remember hearing a mean word said to you i do remember that no not really can you remember the iraq war oh yeah i remember my dad woke us up and we all watched george bush at at the at the desk saying we're going to war he's like we need to watch this because he knew it was about to happen. Yeah. And I was too young to even understand what that really meant. I guess I was 11 or 12.

What time did y'all go to bed? What do you mean? What time? When did he make that announcement? What time was it? That was in the morning, right? I don't think it was in the morning. Oh, so you'd already gone to bed that night.

I think he woke us up. Yeah. Well, it was like 8 or 9 p.m., but we're kids, so we're already in bed. Did you gasp when he heard about it? I mean. You go, Father, I've got a busy day tomorrow. How dare you? And you put on your robe and then ran in there.

The sleeping hat. What has happened? The hat, the ball. Yeah, yeah. What is our president saying? We're going to war, father. I like to think, I thought the announcement, when would they have made the announcement?

I was thinking, is it two in the morning? Or is it like? No, I feel like. I think it was prime time. I think you wait until you got some eyeballs, honey. Yeah. And then you let the world know. I think they launched the offensive and then word gets out and he makes an official got some eyeballs, honey. Yeah. And then you let the world know. I think they launch the offensive, and then word gets out,

and he makes an official announcement what's going on. Yeah. No, he got the ball rolling first? No, I think they got the ball rolling first with some missiles or something. Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah, and then he came on. Let's do this announcement. They just shot at us.

All right, we'll do it right now. That's how quick it turned. All right, go ahead and do it now yeah uh so uh well what we've been doing what we've been up to so i i'm wearing a san francisco giants hat i was in uh so we did vegas vegas was amazing nick uh my dad's shows were awesome reno was awesome uh awesome time and i go to la for a little bit and I went to the Dodgers Giants game Justin Galindo has been one of my tour managers and he goes out Gaffigan as well but he Justin like text me it was great because I was in LA and I didn't like you know you just I was only there for like a couple days so I didn't think about like looking at the – and Justin's from LA, so he's a Dodger fan.

And then he knows Mike Jashimski, who we know – or I know, like from – he played at Van D, now plays for the Giants. And so then it was like, oh, they're in town, so I went to the game. Yeah. And it was awesome. And Yaz – I mean, I posted on Instagram. Yeah, I wanted to ask you about this. Yeah.

So if anybody saw it on Instagram, I posted the night before. I was like, I texted him and said, like, hey, can we go? Yeah. You know, can I go to the game? And it's in LA. I didn't want to, you know, LA, I'm sure, is a tough place to ask him for tickets. And, you know, there's baseball players. Some of them, they have to pay for their tickets.

Oh, really? Really? They only get so many. I don't know if he, maybe he didn't have to pay for these. I mean, I would not want him to pay. But, like, sometimes if, like, stuff gets crazy, you only get so many. I mean, there's so many players. So I'm sure they – look, I'm sure if you're – there's levels of, you know,

if Nolan Ryan wanted tickets during Nolan Ryan's heyday, they were like, yeah, you're going to have them. Yeah. And so – but Yaz got us the tickets uh and i'm lucky to be great seats great seats looks like the dodgers manager right there in front of you i'm on the giant side i was with the family family and friends section oh uh and so we're sitting there kirk sally also uh plays for the Giants. Giants are maybe the best team in baseball this year.

They're unreal. So I texted him, and when we were texting about it, I was like, hey, thanks again. I'm glad this worked out. Home run, really top it off with no pressure. And he's like, yeah, that's easy. It's like Paul O'Neill. Yeah.

If I thought Yaz would get the reference, I was going to tell you. Also, catch a ball in your hat. Yeah. But he hit a home run. It's amazing. It was great. We were sitting in those seats, and then me and Justin go walk to the – because where those seats were, you got club access up at the top to go eat. So we get up, and we go eat in the right field.

So we're like upper level right field eating and we're sitting there and we got great seats there too we're not close and uh he hits it to the right field and so we're right there as it comes over the fence and uh i did think i was like one of you guys like you know he gets home i'm thinking he's looking to look at me he's like finally he points at me i I'm not there. That's for you, kid. That's for you. He opened up, hit a home run the next day as well.

And then I haven't looked past that. But they lost that game. Walk off, three run home run, Dodgers. I mean, man, it was crazy. And then they won the other game. They won in that fashion. But the Giants won. So, yeah, it was crazy. And then they won the other game. They won in that fashion. But the Giants won. So, yeah, it was awesome.

It was fun to get a go. There's a lot of any. Walker Bueller pitches for the Dodgers. Mookie Betts, Nashville guy. I've golfed with him. And Joe Kelly pitches for the Dodgers. And we grew up with my parents. My parents and his parents like

went to school together oh that's cool yeah and they uh and he's younger than me my dad performed at his birthday party when he was five really and then he i mean he's younger than he's younger than me but he pitches for them yeah yeah he always does something entertaining he like blows a kiss at the other team or stuff he's yeah he's fun we traded his shirt the other day for like uh was it a hawaiian shirt or no he traded his jersey for uh oh yeah like uh what's the uh mexican band yeah i don't know if that's how you're supposed to say it mariachi see that's so much podiatrist uh hey this mexican band's coming over again that sounds like just an old dad that you're like dad it's a mariachi yeah why is every mariachi band mexican it's marcus mariotta band so it looks like it's a full stadium they have no in la no mask or anything required so they just

did the mass thing that you had to wear mask inside but i mean i think outside i mean it was kind of great to see to be honest yeah because i was super i thought i'm gonna go to la and they're gonna they just put that mask thing i was like i'm everybody's gonna have a mask on that's what you think cal if i have hope for the country that i walked in there and there was no mask that's awesome they were just like not wearing it and not saying you should or shouldn't or whatever be vaccinated i don't none of that stuff i'm just saying it i thought i must wear a mask outside i thought people would be doing that and it was like

the people don't care and it was nice to see and they were cheering and uh it was fun yeah so anyway what'd you two losers do well i'm just trying to make – I'm joking. That was a good transition. Yeah. I have to transition somehow. Y'all were not picking up. Y'all didn't, you know – Keep the momentum going?

Keep the momentum going. Are you giving me carte blanche to hop in and change the topic at any point? Let's see. You can try. Yeah, okay. You can try. Okay, you'll give me one try. I'll save it. Yeah try i'll save it yeah i'll save it i'm throwing out the first pitch at a nashville sounds game really month yeah wow yeah

against memphis oh wow september 7th that's crazy trying to think of my strategy dude yeah it's funny because i went to sounds game recently and i just saw some dude from like the tennessee lottery throughout the first pitch i was like i could do this we just emailed them and they were like all right oh really yeah i just i want to throw out the first pitch you do and they're like okay i'm gonna have to do it so thank you that's what it felt like it was like and we were trying to find people to do this that's like when someone uh like you have to have someone to introduce you like at a theater you're like you have to get someone on the side. You're like, hey, can we bring this? Do the God voice.

Yeah, the voice of God. Like, please welcome. Nabar gets in. If someone's like, oh, I'll do it. That sounds fun. When you're like the opener, because the opener usually has to do it, you're like, oh, yeah, dude, that'd be great. You're welcome to do it.

And you're like, oh, I didn't know. You think it's this big deal, and he's like, you. Yeah. Nobody wants to do it. I'll watch the dude do the first pitch, and nobody's paying attention. I mean, nobody's watching. It's the mascots catching it, but I'm like, I want to do it. Is there even a game that night?

Yes. The mascots catching it? The mascot has a catcher's mitt. The rooster gets down behind a home plate. They don't even bother. And I don't know what the rules are. I think they tell you you can't. I would love to pitch from the mound.

I think they tell you you can't. Well, people always just go to the mound. But not all the way up on it. You can't go up on the rubber. I've never seen it. Bush did it after 9-11, but he can do it every day. I think there's a lot of people that go, I'm going to go do it. I think you'll notice most people do it from the front of the mound.

I know, but I think some, they tell you not to, then they do it. Cause they go, I'm not going to go out there and not pitch from. Are you saying that's what I should do? Here's the only thing I,

I guess still like old rule following in me that I think it's like, they don't want you to do it. Cause it's like the pitch has got to go. I get it. There's something that you go like, just do what they want you to do it because it's like the pitch has got to go i get it there's something that you go like just do what they want you to do i get up there to start digging a hole and it's just pick up the rosin bag yeah well there's there's there i think there's someone that has done that has done something like that i'm sure you could find bill murray maybe yeah so like bill murray doing it's hilarious and he can do you got to get to the point where

you're like you can do whatever you want otherwise they're gonna be like dude why would we let you do you're saying me doing it they probably wouldn't be as cool they might be like who is this guy he's a gout survivor and then they go that's the announcement that's the byline on the on the jumbotron everyone gives you standing ovation local gout local gout survivor throws out the first pitch you're like well i don't think he can even walk up to the top of that mound, to be honest. He has to stay on the flat part. No one even knows you do comedy.

Gout survivor. Oh, that would be really funny if I could get him to put that on the Jumbotron. You have to wear, I don't know, like a brown ribbon. I'm trying to think of just a weird color, you know. Gout awareness. A ribbon pin on the shirt a ribbon pin that's red and white because of tan lines in your feet and so like it's like the legs and the red and white and then that's the gout ribbon oh yeah i'll have to get one made yeah i'm excited about it i'm gonna throw i'm gonna i'm gonna really go to practice i'm gonna whip it in there. Are you going to practice with Lucy? Like have her in the yard?

Not with Lucy. Somebody who can catch. Do we need to throw some – I'll catch one. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, we'll warm up. Yeah. Do you want to practice doing the first pitch to him?

It's like going to a rooster. I'll let you get warmed up with me and then the rooster walks out. And then we'll simulate it with Brian. Yeah, simulate it. Yeah. Anyway, that's kind of cool. it was so funny how easy it was to you just never think i'll just ask if i could do it and they're like sure go ahead but i'm pumped september 7th man we're playing memphis so i'm gonna be there you want to come brian absolutely yeah let's do it film this what day film this. What day is that? It's a Tuesday. Oh, maybe I'll be there.

Yeah, you should. Yeah. That'd be when Nate shows up. They're like, hey, we're just going to let Nate do it. But it still says Gout Survivors. Everyone's still. I go, give me a ribbon, Aaron. I take your jersey that says Weber.

They already went to. We already did the jersey thing. That's fun. Yeah. Yeah. That'll be a good time. I'm trying to even, I don't know my schedule.

I'm trying to think where I'm going to be. I'll be here. I don't think I'm going to be here, actually. I think you just made that up.

Oh, yeah. No, I started thinking, I think I have to, all right. But we're at video a year ago I feel confident I'll be available yeah

anytime in September yeah or August August wide open October whatever you want to do when you want to do it

whenever I'm like that psychologist that does the experiment every 13 years that's right yeah other news though you have some other news

that yeah oh I'm doing Just for Laughs comedy festival That's right. Other news, though. You have some other news that... Yeah. Oh, I'm doing Just for Laughs comedy festival. It's huge. Yeah. Well, it's really cool, first of all. It's really cool to do.

Your first one up there. It's a big deal. Well, it's alphabetical, but I'll take it. You take it. But luckily, they did the first name and not the W. Yeah. That's true. Now, there's a line in my bio that says,

you can hear Aaron on the Nate Land podcast with Nate Bargetzi and Brian Bates, where they tackle important world issues like fast food, Rhode Island. Well, I said in my bio, they left out the last part of that sentence. So the last letter in this deadline, the last sentence of the deadline says, you can hear Aaron on the nateland podcast where the three nashville-based comedians tackle

important world issues and then it just ends and it makes it look like i'm on a political podcast on bbc or something yeah well that's what we do aaron we tackle important world issues. You come here if you want to get stuff solved. That's great, though, dude. New faces. It is a big deal for people that don't know any of this, because this is something that when you get it and you tell people, I know that your family's like, they don't know. They don't know what to do. They're like, oh, they're just excited. They're only know what to do. They're like, oh, they're just excited. They're only excited because they can tell you're excited. Right.

And Just Flaps is a huge festival, and to be New Faces is a very big deal. So it's great, dude. It's a huge accomplishment. Thank you. It's a cool thing to have, man. You got to go through. It's part of it. You're in the scene.

You're in the system of, you know, the business. You're, you know, it's cool. Not everybody gets it. It's a huge thing. What year did you do it? 2008, I think. So you would have been 29? Something like that? Same age as you? Yeah. I think so. Yeah, have been 29? Something like that?

Same age as you? Yeah. I think so. Yeah, was it? Yeah, 2008? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

See? How about it? One day. Yeah. And how many years ago was that? 13 years? 13 years you'd be able to host your own podcast. Can you believe that?

In 13 years, Bates and I will have a podcast. Yes. Aaron Landon Batesville. Is there a a new baitsville there's a bunch now some of them don't even follow me yeah really i followed one of them they didn't follow me back yeah there's a bunch yeah there's a baitsville baitland uh it's kind of a survival of the fittest out there if they create one you gotta you gotta bring it right so let's go folks yeah oh i've seen that one too yeah yeah it's a lot of good stuff being made means yeah brian's nose brian's nose pops up every now and then yeah yeah uh but congratulations new faces just flats it's a huge huge deal uh and to get to do

that is a big deal and i just gotten into old faces so old faces congratulations let's know it's uh in the uh satchel quad area of canada and uh you gotta take a boat with uh those those uh floats on the bottom of it and it lands in the lake that's how you get to it and you uh you know a little less prestigious yeah the weirdly the plane never gets too high off the ground the whole route it's uh pretty low uh and you ask we ever gonna go up and he goes no it's pretty flat and then you skid into the water and do a show. So I did a show recently in Albany, Albany,

funny bone. You were just there as well. I flew in the night before and it was connecting flight through DC. And because of weather, I didn't land in Albany till like one 30 in the morning. And I've never been to Albany. I didn't realize just how small it is, but I come out and start calling an Uber

and it's searching searching and I found out there's no Ubers available they're just at that time of night yeah and then

I called cab companies there's three cab companies only one answered and the guy wouldn't pick me up he said he already had somebody had to pick up

only guy in Albany I guess running a cab then I called my hotel they said we don't have shuttle service and I'm it's like two in the morning now i'm just out there the corner first and first just trying to figure out what to do there's another couple there and i said did you guys get an uber what'd you do and they're like no we got a cab and we quickly figure out that they're the ones that that got they called that guy and the guy said look where you going i told my hotel he said you can just ride with us so he was going to like some other

town or something so when he got there he asked the cab driver if we can just give this guy a ride and he didn't want to do it but he said yes so this nice couple isaac and emily just gave me a ride to my home yeah we met in the whole trip and they gave me a ride to my hotel and i got there like 2 30 in the morning yeah but if it wasn't for them i don't know what i've done did you pay i paid the guy i gave isaac yeah money yeah and then he just went on his way yeah but what were they doing they just lived there they were coming uh to visit family like it's his family reunion or something yeah and um and no one in his family would pick him up? Maybe because it was so late or something?

Yeah. That would be more the reason they'd go, you got to do me a favor. Well, I don't know. I didn't want it to turn to that, but. How long of a walk would that have been for you? I looked at it. It was like an hour walk. Would you have done it?

I guess you would have had to if everything else fell through. I mean, I guess I would have. I had a contact for the Funny Bone. I obviously never met the guy that's on it. I guess I would have called him and just told him the situation. Hope he comes and gets you. Yeah. Or you almost got to go back in the airport because you could go back in, right?

Or is the doors locked? I think you could go back in. Yeah. And then just might as well you could wait till six in the morning and go rent a car or something yeah or maybe by then ubers would be running they might not even have i mean who knows yeah i don't know it would search and then it just eventually it would come up i got a lift at 3 a.m in albany today no problem so i don't know did you not try lift no i think i tried all of them oh so you did you got so funny like literally this morning this morning i took a lift

at 3 a.m in albany to the airport i scheduled it ahead of time so maybe that's that's the difference it's just so funny that you're describing so i i did it you just did no problem they showed up seven hours ago on time yeah yeah yeah maybe it was the scheduling part that's right that's very funny yeah uh all right that's it's caught up uh yeah that's all i got that's all uh i don't know you know so we had a lot of catching up that was a lot of talking about uh fun stuff we've been up to i mean everybody's been wondering you know everybody's been like what's happening yeah uh you got a good Uber Lyft story behind of it. I zoned out for a giant part of that.

I was sitting there and I was like, well, Aaron's talking now. How long have we been here? I go, what's happening? Well, that was a great story you missed. No, I liked the story. I think it's very funny. So this week, we wanted to do a state. obviously don't have a guest uh from the state not that i guess we haven't looked into it did we know someone from uh i know someone from alaska i know someone from alaska but uh comedian yeah

yeah yeah a comic ari uh he's not i mean he does more writing and stuff now, but he's from Alaska. But- Have you ever been to Alaska? I've never been. It's one of the places, one of the states. I don't think I've been to Alaska, and I don't believe I've been to Montana and North Dakota. I want to say I've been to North Dakota, actually. North Dakota University, I think I went there. So maybe Alaska and Montana. Maybe Wyoming. Those are the only three states I haven't been to.

You spent your honeymoon there. Yeah, I spent a week there. Last month, I loved it. I had always wanted to go. I knew very little about it. But I'm excited to talk about it. Could you guys name anyone from Alaska, like a celebrity? Jewel. I knew Jewel about it But I'm excited to talk about it Could you guys name anyone from Alaska Like a celebrity?

Jewel I knew Jewel was from there Yeah I don't know if I could have named her But I know that now That he said it First I can only think of Sarah Palin Sarah Palin

And then I remember Jewel But that's the only two I could name Yeah From there Yeah There's a few Some basketball players Carlos Boozer Mario Chalmers from there.

Oh, wow. Kurt Schilling. Wow. The painter Bob Ross. Really? Yeah. According to this. That makes sense because I said it several times when I was there is everywhere looks

like the Bob Ross painting. Yeah. But that's my only reference for an artist. So maybe there are other artists that work better. I knew that Alaska was the biggest state. I didn't realize just how much bigger it was. You tell a joke on stage about it being three times bigger than Texas. Yeah.

And it basically is. I saw a picture of it in the center of the United States, and it's like a third of the country. Wow. It is so big. If you laid it over the continental United States, the most western part of it, the most western part of it would,

if you put the most western part on Los Angeles, the most eastern part would be in Florida. I mean, that's how big we're talking. Boy, that does not look like that on that map right there. Well, you'd have to maybe tilt it a little bit. Oh, okay. But some random tour guide in Talkeetna, Alaska told me that, so I'm going to defend it until I die.

Yeah. Yeah. You said it as – I mean, it's funny to hear the source of this. You say it, you're like, wow, dude, that's – where'd you hear that? You're like, just a guy up there. Just some dude up there told me that, and I'm going to stick to it. Yeah. We did – Rhode Island was our first state.

That's the smallest. 470 Rhode Islands can fit in Alaska. Wow. I'm super wondering that. Isn't that pretty fascinating? I mean, the more fascinating thing is that the Western part could touch California and Florida. I don't think then go, why don't I go to Rhode Island? Oh, boy, that was my first fact out of the gate.

Well, you know who, the only person that wants to know that is maybe Rhode Island. Rhode Island, you're like, all right, Rhode Island, we've already done you. So maybe not every state has to be about, every state's like how many Rhode Island, I guess we got to do that now. Every other state, how many Rhode Island can fit in it?

How many Rhode Island can fit in this state? Four. 477. Here's another fact that I was amazed by. It's the least, all right, this is not the fact, but to set it up, it's the third least populous state of any state, and it's by far the most sparsely populated. If Manhattan had the same population density as Alaska,

only 16 people would live in Manhattan. That's pretty wild. Yeah. That'd be like the apocalypse. Yeah. And there were parts of it, man, where I was out there and I was like, I've never felt so desolate. No people.

It's so big. The scale of things was overwhelming, where we would be looking at mountains and we'd have a tour guide go all right how far away do you think that mountain is and we'd look at and be like i don't know a mile or two and they're like that's 80 miles away wow it's just so big you just have no concept of how big all this stuff is and you just don't we would go hours without seeing people yeah oh it's cheating with that tail come on oh yeah what are you talking about how's that cheating i mean it's it's like i left some yeah you're like all right i guess i didn't know that part was a part i almost don't believe this that feels like when we won uh when we won alaska

we're like in that part there they go all right fine and that and in that part okay and then those four parts all right dude how far out do you want to go all the way all the way just to that one and they go that's fine and just one more all right we're done that's it that's enough that's how that feels at the end of that where where you go, sure, you can have all that dumb stuff. What is all that stuff? Do people even like- Those are islands out there, man.

Do people live on that? I bet. I read that one of those islands was the only, World War II was only followed on American soil at one of those islands. Yeah, they got cities out here, man. They don't have cities. yeah they got cities out here man they don't have cities though they're not cities but they have civil you know look there's someone lives on that someone lives on that yeah somebody lives on chuganodak island dude right here i wonder what the population of

i bet there are scientists that live out there people that take care of the land stuff like that you have a magical device in your right in front of your face. Maybe type in. Do you not want to type it in because you think it's going to say, of course not. This is a remote island that's cold. So who would want to? Look, that Unimac Island that we were just looking at, 64 people live there. Right here. Okay. 64 people. that's probably a subway that goes there i would like you to go out a little bit yeah that's one of the bigger that's one of the bigger that's like basically

that that island's basically touching alaska you could drive you want me to like check out okay so at two station here i don't know what just happened at Attu. Jeez. It doesn't want me. It doesn't want me. Yeah, it won't let you do it. So like one of these? Yeah. All right. Okay. Just look up one of those.

All right. So the state capital. Do you know? Oh, I do, but I can't think of it. It's a movie with... Fargo. Fargo, North End, Star Wars. Marvel.

One of the Marvel movies. Iron Man. Glory. Juno. Juno. It is a movie. Spelled differently. I was going to say.

It's the second largest city in the United States by area. Meaning it's bigger second largest city in the united states by area meaning it's bigger than rhode island is it how many rhode islands probably just one but it's bigger than rhode island and delaware yeah just in actual size it's the second largest city is alaska say how many road like that it says how hungry they are how hungry are you i could eat five rhode islands right now and you go whoa that's a big get a big boy here there's no road access to juneau it's only capital city you have to get there by boat or plane oh wow did you go no we didn't go to juneau we we got into anchorage and then worked our way up to fairbanks so we only really tackled like one corner of it. Juneau is kind of its own thing, like you said.

I mean, there's parts of it that are just nothing. No one's at. I think majority of it. The vast majority. Most of it, man. Yeah. We took, it's called the Alaskan, I think it's called the Alaskan Railroad. We took it from Anchorage to Fairbanks,

and we didn't even get out of this bottom right corner of the state, but there were hours where the train conductor would go, all right, we're about to enter a dead zone. There's nothing out here. Oh, really? There's nothing. And you just go and look, nothing. nothing i mean as far as the eye can see it's it's so it's hard to comprehend how big it is and there's just nothing out there man

and like you mean like there's no mountains there's no it's like flat no the scenery just trees trees no man-made objects besides the train oh god no no yeah that's where bigfoot lives he could like if there's a bigfoot that's the thing that they would say like there's parts of there is so much room for a bigfoot to be and you would have no idea it's crazy to think how big a train is and then you uh you know think about how big a train is and then just to be going and there's so much no one's around god it's like so big yeah train is, and then just to be going, and there's so much. No one's around. God, it's so big. Yeah.

It is. That was actually the coolest part of taking the railroad, is it's the last whistle-stop train in the country. That's what they told me. I didn't fact-check that at all but it says the last whistle stop train meaning that locals have a right to literally whistle and get the train will stop and pick them up this is like an old old-fashioned looking rail like a train so we're sitting there it looks like there's nothing and then every once in a while this like mountain man would come out of the woods and stop the train and hop on and you could like peek through the woods and see their homestead out there we're talking middle of

nowhere and there are people out there that just for whatever reason just want to get away from everything they just go out and live in the middle of nowhere and they can flag that train down and hop up to fairbanks for whatever reason. Do they have to whistle to get it to stop? I don't know if they actually whistle or if they flag it down somehow, but that's what they call it, a whistle-stop train. So every 45 minutes or so, the train would stop. It's probably pretty hard to hear a whistle.

Over a train? You'd have to whistle loud. Yeah. They give you one of those like and this trying to hear man can you imagine like living there's something i guess if you know how to hunt you can live all that you just live off the wall yeah there was a story in the new york times just a couple days ago about a guy who was being stalked by a grizzly bear there. Do you see this? He got mauled by this bear. He was out there alone, no cell service.

And he got away and got back to his camp, I guess, or a shed that he was in. And then for days, the bear would come back and try to get to him, like tear the tent off and stuff like that. And it just kept stalking him. And then he finally, a helicopter airplane flew over, and he waved them down, and they landed and saved his life. But he'd been out there for days because this bear wouldn't let him leave.

He whistle-stopped the airplane. Yeah. So you can stop any kind of mode of transportation in Alaska. Boat, airplane, just wave it all down. Just whistles. And everybody just goes, it's part of the laws. You've got to pick them up. You've got to pick them up. One of the pilots pilots said did he wave with one hand or two and they said

two and he's like okay that's the symbol for stop i'm in trouble yeah oh interesting which i mean it's kind of seemed like common sense but i never thought about it if he's doing this yeah he's waving but if he's doing this yeah did he come back did he see yeah he said wave back so are they coming back oh i don't know did you wave with two hands no no i was how you doing just and he nodded we both did that and then saluted he's gone forever yeah well they tell you that's not like the movie what's the movie lead articapio everyone said it was like the was like The Revenant, but that was the one where the bear just left him for dead. There was a movie with Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin, The Edge.

You guys remember this movie? I think so. Alec Baldwin played the bear. What'd you say? Alec Baldwin played the bear. Go ahead. They crashed or something in Alaska. Something for closers?

The bear kept stalking them. There you there you go kept stalking them for days and they finally had to come up with a way to kill it in my old uh movie watching days as are right now when i watch old movies maybe i'll go watch the edge yeah it's good it's got ellen fearson you know they say don't judge a book by its cover i feel like i can't judge a movie by its poster. Is this movie terrible? I liked it. Oh. The bear stalking them. I mean, it looks awful, dude.

Just based on that poster alone. Well. Did you see any bear when you were there? Saw a few. Out in the wild. Yeah. Yeah. We took, we went into Denali National Forest,

which is a third of the size of Tennessee. That's how big it is. So big. And there's only one road going into it. So we took a tour bus on this one paved road right into the middle of it. And then we took a little bush plane out of it, Lucy and I. But they were like, look, you're lucky if you see kind of one grizzly bear in the distance so just don't get your expectations up you're lucky if you see if you see one and we saw

one that was about a couple hundred yards away just kind of sitting there looking at us and we were like there's our there's our bear sighting that's fine then we turn around the corner and there's a mom and a cub on the road right in front of us. So the bus driver pulls up kind of as close as she can right behind it. And we're all watching it. We're like, this is crazy. It's like right there, right? And then the tour guide goes, nobody look, but there's another bear coming up right behind us.

And there's another adult bear comes up from the back of the bus and confronts the mother and her cub that's the interaction it's like the mother cub is defending the mother's defending her cub to this stranger yeah and she scares that one away and it runs away and this all happened like i could reach out and touch them from the bus it was pretty wild you were so close you could just reach out i could open the window of this bus and reach out and touch the bears. No problem. So the order of the road, it goes bear, bus, bear? We pull around a corner.

The two bears are in front of us. Okay. And then the other bear comes from behind us. Yeah. It kind of comes around the side of the bus up to them. And they're not even sort of acknowledging this bus they didn't acknowledge us at all and the brakes kind of squealed a little bit i thought they're gonna be like what are y'all doing here but they didn't at all yeah it's a weird feeling like we're in their home yeah you know what i

mean it's not like a zoo or a conservatory it's like this is where they live and we just pull up in this school bus and then they just and they just and they're fine with it yeah they seem totally packed it was it was pretty full they're like 25 30 people on it you know yeah did you have pictures of it uh i you know what i wasn't taking many pictures lucy was taking some pictures. I felt dumb. Everybody's up. I don't know. I probably should have taken more. I got a couple videos of seeing them.

Yeah. And did the mama bear threaten the other bear, just like scared her off? Kind of stood up and got in its face. Yeah. And just kind of let it know, hey, you need to turn back around. Yeah. And they kind of just looked at each other and got up. Was the other one on its back legs too? They weren't standing.

They weren't like bumping chest. Oh, okay. But they kind of got up at each other and got up and was the other one on its back legs too they weren't standing they weren't like bumping chest but they kind of got up got up at each other okay yeah and the other one turned around and ran yeah kind of cool to see yeah yeah that's crazy all right they're just out there it's it's crazy man yeah so i read where when the u.s purchased alaska and from russia in like 1950 something or maybe earlier than that um put it on the credit card yeah i think that cheap i mean how much was it the price in there it was 7.2 million which amounts to two cents per acre what if you could someone would have just bought it. Could anybody have bought it? Could someone just go, I'll buy it, and a guy buys it? What year was that? It was 1898. Okay, so people had that kind of money back then. A few people did, right? In 1898. It was actually a little bit before that, but they thought it was a huge mistake. They called it Seward's Folly because

the guy who, Secretary of State, came up with it. It's like, why do we want all this land? And then gold was discovered in 1898 and it became a huge deal. And now there's a Seward's Day to commemorate the purchase of Alaska. And then, I mean,

isn't there like oil and like all that kind of stuff and like it's like we could live off Alaska. Like it's like a... I feel like they bought it to try to flip it. Yeah.

To fix it up and sell it to some other Canada or something yeah canada why didn't canada get it i don't know i think they didn't have the money then just lazy just yeah they did they didn't hey they're uh united states is about to buy alaska they're like who cares they just had a king that was like i don't care right now and he can't i mine for gold in the in a river yeah i didn't catch anything dude i mean obviously i would have told you by now if i had come back with gold but it'd be gold chain on i was doing it i was like it's just a waste of time you know

it's like just does anybody ever get anything they're like yeah we heard that it was like some girl working at this place she was like yeah i heard somebody got some last summer so you literally go out with a pan and you go out and you go out and you do it the way that they would do it back in the day right with like a pan that you scoop up stuff and you sift it through it felt like a colossal waste of time that would almost be so like someone goes and takes a vacation to alaska you would say avoid the gold thing or is that gold thing sandwiched in with something else we have like time to kill before that plane ride we're in the middle of denali national park there's nothing else to do well we'll try to mine for some gold yeah and nobody caught anything obviously

yeah just got our shoes all wet yeah you have walk around in wet shoes the rest of the day? Yeah, for sure. Oh, man. That's not fun. Yeah. How cold is it? It got pretty cold. Obviously, the higher up you go, the colder it is.

So by the time we got to the middle of that, it was pretty cold out there. It was 30s, 40s. Did you see the Aurora Borealis? No, we couldn't. I didn't see darkness at all there the whole time we were there like what was the hours of sunset it was sunset was like 1 30 and then sunrise was 3 30 so it was just only a couple hours where and it only got partially dark even then so we just it was just broad daylight it is bizarre to walk out at midnight and it feels like three in the afternoon.

It's bizarre. You feel like you should do something. You do feel like that. I feel like such a lazy... I think there was a movie. I think it was called Insomnia with Robin Williams and Al Chino. In Alaska. Yeah.

Alec Baldwin's the bear. Little known fact. Little known fact. Stick around to the end. Yeah. It's 50 miles from Russia. I can see it from my house. Yep.

Yeah. And the Bering Land Strait, anthropologists think the first humans that came to North America came from Russia. And at one time it was all connected. The Ice Age, right? One of those ages. ages yeah i'm not sure some age could have been some age that came over did you see eskimo is that even a real thing

you're like yeah like native native alaskan people i think they're called yeah indians indigenous inuans indigenous people yeah yeah they're they're everywhere they're all they're all over. I just heard someone talk about that saying you're not supposed to say Eskimo, but it's not. It's because there's different. I think there's. That would just be like one.

That's like one. That's like one group of people. So it's not. I don't think it's even that that's offensive. But the people are like, we're not Eskimos. So you're just calling all of us Eskimos. Right. There's some Asian guy telling me that.

I don't know. Barrow, Alaska has the longest and shortest amount of daylight. When the sun rises on May 10th, it doesn't set for nearly three months. And when it sets on November 18th, they don't see a sun again for two months wow some guy some local he told me i i would never have thought about this he goes you know the worst part about all that i go what he goes i gotta mow my grass so often because the sun's just always out i never would have thought about that you have to mow the grass like every other day. Yeah. Twice as much sunlight. Every other day.

Well, maybe not that often. But, yeah, maybe twice a week or something, or once a week. I think our grass gets mowed once a week. Okay, so twice a week. Twice a week, yeah. I mean, I feel like here, to be so hot and humid, the grass would wither if there was never, the sun never went down. That's a good point. Maybe this guy was just totally making stuff up to me yeah the people up there it's it's funny it's a good

mix of uh most people i met were they they came to alaska they came up here for a summer and i just stuck around like i just couldn't leave like the sheer beauty of this place i just had to stay a few people grew up there but most people are like that we beauty of this place i just had to stay a few people grew up there but most people are like that we were in this town talkeetna they had no government oh no government yeah none whatsoever and i'm talking to this dude he's got a korean war veteran hat on mustache he just looks like prototypical alaskan dude and he goes y'all might have noticed that we don't have government here and that's just the way we like it everyone's like oh man somebody goes what if somebody commits a crime or something he goes we take care of it like oh dude it's just a different

breed up there man they just live life differently in some parts and you understand the appeal of it yeah you know so the roads and everything's paid by the state i don't know i don't know how the roads are paved but they're like we don't we don't have a mayor there's one town the mayor was a cat because they because it's just a cat that hung out at a general store that they all is st's Stubbs or something. They're like, that's the mayor. We don't want a real government. We don't want a police force.

We don't want firemen. We don't want anything. We'll do it all ourselves. Yeah. And he's like, some people come up and try to start stuff. Next thing you know, their car's on fire. They leave. They just get rid of them.

Jeez. They handle stuff themselves, man. It's kind of cool. So murder's legal there. Long story short. It is kind of cool. Just. Essentially, yeah, you can get away with it.

Yeah. It would be so easy to get away with murder up there. I was thinking about it the whole time. Yeah. Not the whole time. Lucy? Yeah, just on my honeymoon, just thinking about how I could get away with murder. What do you think about it the whole time Not the whole time Lucy? Yeah, just on my honeymoon Just thinking about how I could get away with murder

What do you think about it, Aaron? A couple of things You don't want to know I know there's at least one comedy Does the airplane door open? You just ask Aaron What's that? I was just wondering

You got those headphones You're just talking in there Lucy, could you turn it down? Is the airplane door? Can you just slide it? Would you hear anything? If I shoved something out of this?

That's how you would do it. Take them up. But I'd have other people in the plane with me. I'd have to push them out too. I'd kill everybody. And then I'd have to land the plane. Once you do it, then you're like, oh, no. Everybody looks at you. They go, why did you do that?

You go, ugh. You start just throwing everybody out the plane. And then you're like, all right, we're good. And then the pilot's like, hey, what's going on back there? Oh, no. You got to throw this out. Now the plane's empty. We're good.

And then you got to, and then it starts going. And then you throw the plane out. Get rid of the plane. The plane tosses, then tosses you out. Maybe it was the plane. I'm sitting, I sat on that bush plane, very small plane. I'm very uncomfortable, and I'm sitting shotgun. You know, they have to distribute the weight on this plane.

Yeah. So I'm sitting shotgun. Do they ask you for your weight? They're very precise about, you have to put on all your gear and they weigh you did the guy go uh all right everybody like do you remember that at all you remember any like big well actually when you showed up did he go you saw him just start like he just he just starts taking stuff out of the plane yeah we'll get you the next round yeah You saw him just start like... He just started like... He just... He starts taking stuff out of the plane.

We'll get you the next round. Yeah. I was worried about that, but I had actually lost a bunch of weight from when I submitted my weight months before that. So I was able to show up and they were under budget. That was the talk of the plane. They were like, oh, man. Whoa, look at this.

Got a little... I was still the biggest on the plane. Was that your motivation? Just that plane ride the whole time no but i but i'm glad it worked out when we were there i was like i'm glad i did that yeah well you get it right up front i'm still smushed in the front and you know it's front of a small plane there's buttons everywhere and i don't know and my knees are like pushing up against these buttons and i told him i was like i asked the pilot i go can i what oh how he goes yeah don't touch any of that and my knee is right next to this eject this thing that just says like it says propeller or not or uh worse than eject it said uh something something that did not look like I wanted to hit it.

Very important. And so I almost didn't enjoy any of it because I'm just so worried about accidentally hitting one of these buttons with my knees the whole time. So the whole plane, I'm literally like this because I don't want to touch any of this stuff. I think it said propeller plane, propeller wing or something. I was like, I don't want to hit that. It seems odd to be back there. Is he giving you a tour up there? No.

It's just to get to the next place. Oh, he is giving. It's a scenic thing. He's swooping around. He's jumping between mountains and stuff. So he's doing it up. I mean, is it like a ride like yeah like whoa parts of it are for sure yeah and you can you can see like a storm coming and i was like freaking

out he didn't even phase him he just like drives right through it and then he'll come down and i'm like we're getting too low i thought about the clip the side of these mountains at some point pretty wild yeah but you go, I mean, it's so desolate. That also helped me appreciate the scale. As we're flying over places that you can't get to. There's no road out there. And you look down and there's just

nothing, dude. Yeah. As far as the eye can see. It's overwhelming. Would you ever want to live there? I'd like to visit there regularly, but I don't know if I want to live there. Everything's super expensive there, and it's so hard to get anywhere. You would have to be comfortable just like, I'm staying here. The idea of it for if you're like, oh, let me go do two weeks in this house, but everything's stocked

everything's ready to go yeah and then you're like no one come you're just alone for two weeks and yeah like it'd be something fun like that uh-huh but maybe then you would turn like the stanford prison experience you start start just running through the woods you know you know you fight a bear well actually i made a mistake a mistake. I read the story about, about this guy who I just had a root canal done by the way, but I've needed to have it done for like a year. And so I had a toothache when we were on our way to Alaska. And I read a story about a guy who went hunting in rural Alaska and got a

sudden toothache and it was so bad and he was so far away from everybody he just killed himself because it hurt so bad. So I thought about that the whole trip too. I was like, if we're on this plane, if it crashes or something and I get a bad toothache, I'm going to have to kill myself. So it's a fun trip.

Yeah, that'd be the Edge Part 2. The sequel. This guy just kills himself. So 17 What kind of magazine were you reading before you went out there it was a magazine on my phone yeah magazine you're just looking up you still read magazine i don't know i'm just reading suicide deaths in alaska before you had to take a trip out there i just what kind of websites websites you're popping on? Well, I Googled. I was worried I had an abscessed tooth, so I Googled abscessed tooth, and then I found that story.

No, it just happened to be about Alaska. I'm like, I'm on my way there. Wasn't Jim Gaffigan in Alaska when his appendix ruptured or something? I don't know. I looked that up. I feel like just like a couple years ago, he had to be helicoptered out because his appendix ruptured, and he was in the middle of nowhere, Alaska. Yeah, that's another thing to think about, being that far away.

You know, like a town with no, I understand how it's romantic to be in a city with no government, but I'd like a hospital nearby. Yeah. You know, yeah, in Alaska. Anchorage. Anchorage is a real city. Yeah. You know? Yeah, in Alaska. Anchorage. Anchorage is a real city. Yeah. That's a breeze, Jim. But I think he was.

Come on. If I could pick a place to lose my appendix, it'd be in Anchorage, Alaska. Yeah. But didn't it? I think he was out in the middle of nowhere, and they had a helicopter amount. Yeah, that's crazy. I know they have at least one comedy club there because Billy Wayne Davis did it this weekend.

He was promoting – They do – yeah, there's some comedy going on in Anchorage for sure. Anchorage is like a real city. You just – you like just buildings down. They have like big buildings. If you're in it, you're like this could be anywhere. Oh, yeah. This could – you could pick this up and put this in Nebraska.

Yeah, yeah. Half of Alaska. So is that where you stayed a lot? For the first couple days. Like at a regular hotel? Just at like a Hilton. Yeah. Downtown.

And then we took the railroad, and that's when you stop in these smaller cities. Yeah. On the way up. People were whistling stuff. Foot whistle stuff. Did you go to- Just hops on. Brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, stop did you hops on i want to go down and you excuse me he sits down next to you what is he i mean it's like yeah they look like what you think i mean dirty face huge

beards that's not what i was thinking yeah what were you thinking suit and tie yeah that's what i just picture like reverent like the revenue yeah the revenant yeah that was kind of what it was like yeah yeah like he just pops on and you know you know and then he just sits there and you're like just growling in your notre dame hat you're just staring at him your nascar jacket yeah your big flashy nascar like and he's like what are you you're like a billionaire type like he just thinks you're a sign of money uh-huh 17 of the tallest of 20 tallest mountain peaks in the u.s or in alaska denali is the tallest mountain in the u.s which i was like i don't even heard of this because five

years ago it changed its name from mount mckinley mck. Oh, and now they're Denali? Mm-hmm. Why did they change the name? Denali was what the indigenous Alaskans called it. Yeah. And then I think McKinley was running for president. I think he was president. At some point, he's like, just name it after me. And they're like, all right. And nobody really wanted to there.

That's what they say there. Oh. Got a little let's go folks, hello folks thing. Yeah. A little McKinley. That's funny. McKinley's like nah they want it they want to call it that and you can be like okay i guess we'll call it mckinley uh mount mckinley when did they change it back five years ago oh really i think it was or five or six i mean i was like i've never heard of denali and then i looked it up and they're like, well, 2015, 2016, something like that. I'll tell you how recently it's, some of the museums we went to, whenever they had McKinley written, you could see they had like put a piece of tape over it and then they wrote Denali over it.

So it must've been pretty recently. Well, McKinley got it on there for a bit. Yeah. Yeah. And then finally. Like over a hundred years, I think. Yeah. We didn't see it the whole time we

were there it was cloudy oh really they say if it's a clear day you can see it yeah and i was like is it obvious they're like yeah dude it's obvious if you see it you know that's the one but we never did but you were in denali the park the park and that's where denali the mountain denali's in there yeah yeah that's how you see any of those mountains. Mount Hood. Mount Rainier. It's just there. It's like if you see

a class photo and they have an NBA player in his elementary school. It's just like taller than the teacher. That's the one? That's who we're going to talk to? Oh-huh yeah did you go to gnome no that's where the did a rod is ran from anchorage to know i was just wondering how long that was we went to a i did a rod this guy dallas cv who's won the i did a rod and like, three or four times. He had a bit of a dynasty going there.

We went to his, like, compound and did sled racing, dog sled racing. Oh, you did? With his dogs, yeah, me and Lucy. You, like, mushed. We didn't mush them, but we're on – we had four of them hooked up to us. You're on the dogs? We're in – no, we're not. Like, grab the ears?

Sitting on the dogs. I will say, for me, they broke. See that dog sitting by the plane? He's like, one, two, three. Okay. All right, I'll take him. I'll take him. Well, they broke out the Iditarod champions for me.

Yeah. The dogs that they're like, this one won the Iditarod last year. I was like, yeah, I need the cream of the crop. The real deal. And how fast would you go? Was Brian there asking for his autograph? I would have been. Trying to get his paw print.

He puts his paw in mud and gets it on a piece of paper. That's the dog that won the. Is that him? That's Dallas Seavey, who's won the Iditarod a few times. And that's one of the dogs. This is what it looks like. See these little things? These little chariots back there?

You got basically hand brakes. And they say when the dogs are running, you got to keep those hand brakes at least halfway done. Because if you totally let go of the brakes, they just let loose. They want to sprint. Those dogs, that's all they want to sprint those dogs that's all they want to do is sprint and i let them go a couple times yeah and we really got rolling oh man and you're on uh no snow no yeah it's dry there's not snow up there at this point yeah but every time i'd break i was kind of i was bad at it at first i'd never controlled dogs before

i hit the brakes a little awkwardly like all four dogs in unison like turn around and look at me and like what are you doing dude yeah it's like oh my bad sorry yeah yeah i'm learning it you know and then you let them go yeah that's fun pretty kind of dogs are they uh i don't know some of them are just like mutts they said and they're nice and friendly and they're so friendly dude they none of them bite you walk right up they jump on you they just want to yeah there's hundreds they would so they would sign an autograph for them they'd appreciate it i'd love that yeah carlos gross never want to but not never wanted i did a rod yeah yeah all right i'm about done here uh northern exposure

is a tv show set in Sicily, Alaska. I never watched it, but I certainly remember it. Sicily, Alaska. Never heard of it. Never heard of it. Fictional. The town's fictional, but you've heard of Northern Exposure. Oh, Sicily, Alaska's not a real town?

Yeah. Oh. I think they just made up the town, but the show was set. Why would they not just pick a real town when they write a show? Why would you say Sicily, Alaska and then that sounds like Italy, right? Like, isn't it? Yeah, I think it'd be Ireland.

Yeah. And then you're like, oh, so then I thought, oh, they have a town called Sicily? Maybe I'm pronouncing it wrong. C-I-C-E-L-Y. That's how it's... Sounds right to me. Vella, did he?

The proposal starring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds was set in Sitka Alaska I think I watched that did you really yeah it's got Betty White

Betty White's in it it's a fun it's a it's fun it's got a lot of what's the roar like when is that the roar boy Alice

yeah it's Northern Lights the Northern Lights that The Northern Lights. That's right. Can be seen 243 days a year in Fairbanks. I think you can see it there. That's what I'd want to go see that.

Yeah, me too. That's got to be wild. I bet. I would love to go to Alaska. I think it'd be awesome. I knew some comics that were doing shows there, and I never went up there and did a show but I would love to go it is awesome man I feel like I've uh haven't done a justice

talking about it but today but it but it was like it was it's overwhelmingly beautiful yeah that I just stopped taking pictures because you're like every I could take pictures all day yeah because everywhere is the prettiest thing I've ever seen well you get to enjoy it i mean it's a good that's a good thing to to not take uh to go appreciate it to go to go be overwhelmed with it yeah is uh yeah you know i think people would experience it in their phones and that's a good thing to uh realize that i tried to we i mean i was in uh, Florida. Same kind of thing. And I left my, I would leave my phone in the room. And I didn't have to watch.

But I was doing it to be like, well, I'm going to go. We weren't going to see anything. It was like, I'm going to go lay at the pool. I'm going to do whatever. But I'm going to make myself just have to be there. There's a real reason to do it in Alaska. Destin, Florida. I go, you know you know I'm gonna go look at these beaches and I'm gonna appreciate them

there's mountains see the ocean how big the ocean is it's pretty big how many Rhode Island's millions I started watching this thing on HBO 100 foot wave

oh I saw the trailer for it. What's that? It's about them trying to find a 100-foot wave to surf. Where are they searching? Talking about 100 feet is a wave that goes around a stadium. We're 100 feet people just going, whoa. We did the wave in a sounds game recently. I mean, you don't see many waves anymore.

Are you for the wave? I love it. I knew you would love the wave. You go there for the wave, what it feels like. I'd forgotten about it. I was like, this brings back memories. You love the camaraderie. He's attached to a person in front of him.

Hey, when do you think the wave's going to happen? Let's get it started, buddy. Probably about fifth inning. I don't know. We're adults, man. So maybe. You do it. There it there's so many kids there though that's why you do it no i like it i get it that's why i like it it's uh for the kids yeah yeah i i like the wave but it's like i would be like if it's all if no kid was at the stadium and someone tried to do the wave you'd be like yo dude just let's sit and watch the game right and then but if you have a

kid you're like yeah dude you want the kids, you're like, yeah, dude, stay. The kids, you're seeing a kid. They love it. They love to get it started. Yeah. We had a wave at the Dodger game. I was near the section. They started it.

I was not one of the ones that started it, but I was on board quick. He was getting everybody. And it's just a bunch of young, drunk guys that started it. Usually that. Yeah. Yeah, it's like college kids yeah and then everybody's like all right yeah i guess we'll do it i guess we'll do it yeah watching it die out it's pretty great it's pretty awesome just to see it just kind of you see you just seeing people they're watching you're just kind of hoping other people kind of start they're

like i hope they calm it down over there all right that That section's done. But then the other section's still doing it. You're like, okay, we've weeded that section out. Outfield's like down. Those people are three sheets to the wind. They're gone. They're drunk. That's what outfield's like. I mean, especially for minor league baseball because you've got to time it.

There's not even fans all the way around. You've got to watch it end and then time it. One Mississippi, two Mississippi. All right, now. Hit it again Yeah. You got to watch it end and then time it. One Mississippi, two Mississippi. All right, now. Then hit it again. Yeah, pretend it's coming across the grass. Yeah. And then when it gets back.

Yeah. There's always a big play that often ends it too. Like somebody hits a home run or something. Everybody's going to be standing. Yeah. And then it's over. And then you start it again. What about the wave?

All right. Anyway, 100 foot. Yeah, I don't know why I mentioned that. I just thought you were talking about Big Alaska. It's the ocean. You're talking about big stuff. But talking about big stuff. Bigfoot?

There's a new Bigfoot video? Did you see that? I have not seen the video. Is it worth pulling up? I mean, it's like four seconds, but it's a Bigfoot going through a lake in Michigan. Uh-oh. And it's either carrying a- I knew a guy, or I read.

I didn't know the guy, but i read there's a guy mississippi that saw a bigfoot uh and so yep yeah like i saw that story too and he said he saw it oh my god well i don't have ads oh this is just no this isn't oh there i mean that looks that looks like a person it starts walking here. I mean, I don't know if it walks on this one, but. Yeah. It shows a hulking brown figure, which appears to be carrying something.

That video looked. Wading across the Cass River. Wow. That video right there looks like crazy. Investigate. Crazy in a good way? If you didn't think this was legit let me just tell you investigator kyle shaw of the rocky mountain sasquatch organization inspected the

footage personally what do you think that is if you don't think that's bigfoot that i'm not saying that i'm not saying i'm not saying it's not okay That's not a bear. Like that doesn't look like a bear. It's not a bear. It looks, it looks, it looks like a man right there. Yeah. And like,

you know, they always talk about like the great, the footage of it. And you're like, yeah, but it's a far away way. I mean, that's a crazy,

that looks like a, like when the picture, when it's zoomed away, it looks like Bigfoot, but when it zooms in close, that looks like a – when the picture, when it's zoomed away, it looks like Bigfoot. But when it zooms in close, it looks like a guy. But, man, that's a – yeah, what does that do? Where is that guy going? He looks a little overweight, doesn't he?

It's like it's a chubbier one. That's why he got caught. Yeah. It's probably the guy's buddy who said, put on the suit and go over there and I'll film it. Yeah, I mean, maybe. You think that? I mean, maybe.

You think that's what it is, Brian? it's crazy dude i mean you think it's a guy in a suit i would say it's probably a better chance of that than bigfoot don't you want i don't don't you want to believe i do want to believe yeah there's aliens doesn't seem like it but you believe in aliens there's no bigfoot That's where you draw the line. I mean, I want there to be a Bigfoot, but I do believe more likely there's aliens than Bigfoot. They could be Bigfoot. They could. Alaska.

Make sure you go. It's a good place to go. I recommend it, man. It was awesome. It was a fun time. Alright, next week we will do Fairbanks we're gonna do city by city did we ever find anything on that island anybody live on it yeah 43 people lived on that oh yeah scientist probably that's probably who it was yeah 43 people the atu station here 43

people live on this island and they're american citizens in theory i mean listen i don't know i don't know their paperwork do you think uh yeah covid i mean doesn't even like you know they might not even know about covid they might not even know about it that guy that got on that train probably doesn't're like, could you put a mask on? Oh, sir. They're like, what? Sir, do you mind if you could throw a mask on? He's like, brr. Brr. I know. But it's a global pandemic.

And these are trying. These are what's the unprecedented times. Right. And he's like, brr. His oldest boy got mauled by a bear. And I had to watch it with my own eyes because I couldn't fight it because another bear was holding me back, and I was trying to get in there.

And there he goes. And he's like, let me fight him. And the bear made me watch. And you want me to wear a mask? At Two Station. All right, everybody. See you next week. Bye. at two station alright everybody see you next week bye thanks everybody

for listening to Nate Land Podcast be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes Spotify you know wherever you listen

to your podcasts and please remember to leave us a rating on our comment Nate Land is produced by me Nate Bargetti and my wife Laura on the All Things Comedy Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating on comedy. Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetti, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation Consulting in partnership with Center Street Media.

Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.