The Nateland Podcast - #69 Pennsylvania ft. Mike Vecchione

Episode Date: October 20, 2021

On this week’s episode, we’re joined by fellow comedian and former Pennsylvania resident Mike Vecchione to learn more about the Keystone State.  Co-hosts: Brian Bates ( https://www.instagram.com/brianbatescomic) & Aaron Weber ( https://www.instagram.com/realaaronweber)   Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail]     Solo Stove - solostove.com Get the perfect fire pit for those Fall nights and make your backyard a destination with a spectacular fire pit from Solo StoveShop the Fall Event now and get an extra $10 off when you use promo code NATE at checkout. They’re so confident you’ll love it, they offer a lifetime warranty and a 30-day FREE return policy.     Allform - Allform.com/Nate  Allform is offering 20% off all orders for our listeners at ALLFORM.COM/NATE for your new favorite sofa.     Scribd - Try.Scribd.com/Nate Right now, Scribd is offering our listeners a FREE 60-day trial. 

Hello folks, welcome to Nate Land. And as always, I'm here with Brian. Well, not always. We had one that we weren't. Almost always. Almost always. Basically every time. Trying to be less and less, but slowly.

I keep coming back. He keeps showing up. We're like, oh, man. I thought, all right. You changed the record day on me, and I still. Still showed up. Yeah. He just was in our driveway last night, slept in his car.

Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, and we have a wonderful guest with us, Mike Vecchione. Thank you for having me to Nate Land. You're welcome. It's fantastic here. Thank you. It's amusement park. Gal. Me and Mike started comedy in New York together forever ago.

Right. We've been great friends for 15 years, something like that. Been great friends for 15 years, something like that. Lost touch for a little bit because he lost his hearing for two of those years. And I was trying to get someone older than Brian. Couldn't do it, but I'm close. Tried to throw Brian a bone. There he goes.

We started in New York together, good times, a lot of years. and then you moved to la yeah we remain close i came out and stayed with you and carson for a couple i was in la a little bit i walked in on him meditating once yeah i said don't do that in this room yeah he said don't do it it's not loud in this house yeah it's a god-fearing house what you're doing is some kind of voodoo yeah and we don't appreciate it. It's affecting my wife. Outside. It's affecting my wife. Outside. Yeah.

And I remember when I was trying to park, and I had to back out and do it again. You go, does it ever just work out? Does it ever just work out? I'm like, Nate, I want to equidistantly park, but does it ever just work out? Yeah. What I'm saying, it's not easy to be Nate's friend. Yeah. All these years.

There's a lot of jokes. Right. You said this weekend, you told me, you can't ever just leave. I always say one thing. Yeah. Like right before you leave. That's it. But it's showmanship.

Showmanship is you always make a joke, and I do it if it's just one-on-one or if it's a room full of people. You always got to have a strong closer always got you can't get out that guy closes strong it's just me here but he closes strong yeah you know i think about look i have a whole theory about it that i think you will make everybody's day if even if you're say you're talking to an employee that you don't know it you know bed bath and body works if somebody's not thinking that is that one it's a combination it's bed bath and beyond and then bath and body well if you're

at bed bath and body works it's a new store that just got started and there's uh and you're asking for something and then you just make a little joke like we uh me and uh graham k we were on the road this weekend we had to go to uh i got i this weekend. We had to go to Apple. So we go in there, and Graham's asking this person all these questions. And right when I left, I was like, hey, I'm sorry about him asking that. She was like, oh, it's okay. I go, no, no, no, I'm going to talk to him about it. And she left, and that was it.

She walked away, and then the next person she talked to, she was in a good mood for a second. It's like if you do that and send it then maybe that guy does it but what happens when they don't get it and they go they it's the opposite they have this weirdo can you please take them off my hands i'm gonna go to lunch yeah it's a big matzo ball hanging out there if it doesn't work out and it doesn't sometimes sometimes you do it and the people are like what and you're like all right i gave it a go but i tried he did try you know and their more, than those people,

their day, they spiral out and they yell. I just watch them yell at everybody the rest of the day. So it can go two ways. Yeah.

You know. It's a 50-50 shot. So we're going to start reading you guys' comments. As always, you, as Twitter, Instagram,

YouTube, Apple Podcast Reviews, and you can always email nateland at natebargetzi.com. Ben Crichton. Probably Crichton because we're in the South. Yeah, Crichton.

He might not be in the South. Yeah. Where'd you say he was from? Where's his family from? Probably from England. I think you said stupid England. Stupid England. I didn't know we were to say that on here.

Yeah, it is a clean podcast, but we do call people idiots and stupid. I'm the nicest man in stand-up. You just turn on your fans in Nate Land? You feel safe in Nate Land?

I didn't. Look, I think Ben's a great guy. First of all, I think it's Ben Crichton. You want to bet me on this? Yeah. No one knows about your vicious gambling problem. I'll bring him in here. Bren, I would bet, I would AC Doocy bet Crichton is his name. Not Crichton, not Crichton.

Yeah. Crichton, Ben Crichton. Crichton. I like Crichton. Yeah. I feel like you would go, no one would say Crichton. Yeah. And if you said, if he goes, it's Crichton, and you go, Ben goes, no, it's Critchton. And you're like, yeah, that makes sense.

And you just messed that guy's life up. Right. Because he's like, because, you know, all right. That's like your name. Your name is spelled wrong. Bargetzi? Yeah. I think we say it wrong.

We say it with an accent. Does your whole extended family say it that way too? Yeah. Nobody says Bargatze. How do you think it should be spelled? With an E instead of an A, right? Yeah. We just say E. Bargetze. Yeah. But we say it with an E. And then I think Bargatze. Like Fallon would always say, Nate Bargatze.

Yeah. Everybody said Nate Bargatze. And that's, I think, how it should be said. It's almost like if you say it correct, people will think that i'm getting it wrong now yeah i don't if someone says bargazzi i don't even well i think if people are famous enough they could just say it however they want yeah right isn't that how we do it yeah yeah you have to so ben we're better than you so we'll just say it however you yeah can i talk to him that way yeah listen ben we're gonna say your name however we want

oh yeah that's look he gets it does ben get it yeah you're in nateland now you're in nateland Can I talk to him that way? Yeah. Listen, Ben, we're going to say your name however we want. Ooh. Yeah. Look, he gets it. Does Ben get it? Yeah. You're in Nate land now. You're in Nate land, Ben. Welcome to the land of Nate. I'm a security guard in Nate land.

And you will do as you're told, Ben Crichton. Yeah. You do look like our security guard. Yeah, I'm a security. Yeah. Our comment. Or you know what? I would like to go.

I would like to be the traffic guy on that land and ben you got a pretty crazy name let's go to traffic yeah and i want to be that guy we got a lot of uh on on uh what's the road out there split log yeah split log road yeah there was almost an accident last night on split log you saw it yeah yeah you drove a Lars car to Zaney's. And then Mike's sense of direction is garbage. Horrific. Garbage. If you're not in New York with the grid system. No.

I need a grid. It's not even, New York doesn't matter. Yes. We went on the road and he was driving and we pulled back in Manhattan and we might have pulled into La La Land because he looked like he's never seen. We went through the Lincolnincoln tunnel and he comes out of it not the lincoln what's the one farthest down holland holland tunnel yeah i can remember the names of the yeah so landmarks we lived uh because you live in the holland tunnel is that

all right so we uh we come through the holland tunnel we wake it out and i remember vecchione was like he goes all, all right, where are we? And I'm like, I mean, we're in New York now, dude. And he's like, I know, but where's – I mean, he would have drove to the Statue of Liberty from there. Like he just – and we're living in Queens. Like we have to go the other way. That is true. He just had no concept.

I have no concept. But what does help me in New York, and Aaron had it right, and I just met him five minutes ago, knows me better than you. The grid system really does help with the avenues and the streets. Once we get, like, the Holland is still in that where it's street names I don't understand. Yeah. I really have a poor sense of direction. I think it's because of math. My math skills were always really poor.

People are like, oh, math doesn't matter. I'm like, it matters a lot, problem-solving-wise. Yeah, that's true. So let that be a lesson to you, Ben. Yeah, all right. Let Mike get off his high horse, and he's going to come on back down. Ben Critchton, if you were to tell me a year ago, a new podcast is coming out, one host has gout.

Aaron has gout. One host has dyslexia. I have dyslexia. And the other is geriatric. Geriatric. Geriatric. Right? Geriatric.

What is it? Geriatric. Oh, geriatric. At trick. Yeah. Geriatric. Yes. Yeah.

I wouldn't believe that it was my favorite podcast. Thanks, and keep it going, guys. I think what Ben is trying to say is your flaws are what make you guys the powerhouse of a podcast. Yeah. I think so, too. I think so, too. Because people don't want to feel like you're on your, like you said, high horse. They're like, oh, these guys have flaws.

I have a lot of flaws. Yeah. You know? You don't, but. I don't, personally. but i'm a guest on this podcast i'm not on it we like to bring in just excellence yeah yeah you're sitting next i won't let your foot touch aaron's foot because he is gal uh i don't know how it switches over but i mean no one's really looked into it that much just it's i don't know which one it is but it's the wider left one it's the wider shoe it's one that's got yeah it's two different shoe sizes he's got throw two shoes away he orders four pay two pair and he throws the two middle ones away one's a wide 15 i don't know why i did tim Tim Eigenfeld. Egenfeld.

Yeah. I'm an eighth grade teacher in Wisconsin. I started listening to the podcast over the summer, and now every day to and from work. Whether you're talking about something as riveting as ocean size or who the smallest president was, each episode is like stepping into a middle school classroom. That's what we are, is that we are a middle school. Every comment is more random and humorous than the last. That's what we are. We are a middle school.

Every comment is more random and humorous than the last. Thanks, Nate, Aaron, and Blackboard for the lighthearted banter and for preparing me for another year of teaching. Well, that's awesome, Tim. Yeah, Godspeed. Yeah. So everybody calls him a different B name. Oh, really?

So maybe call me Ben Crichton. Yeah. Crichton. Crichton. Yeah. Crichton. Crichton? Yeah, Crichton. Ryan Coyle. Coyle. This podcast has made me realize how little I know about most things. I found myself getting frustrated during the

Olympics episode because you all kept getting stuff wrong. Then I realized that I have not had that feeling throughout most of the other episodes. It really is just fun to be along for the ride while y'all talk about things that you and apparently I know nothing about. That's what I like. You go, that's not right. And then you're like, no, it turns out none of us are right.

We bring you down, too. Yeah, but the charm of it is you're so confident that you are right. I don't know about that you personally. You're so confident you are right. And then afterwards, it's kind of a charm. Like, ah. Yeah. Let's just move on to the next.

Let's go have some breakfast. It doesn't matter. Micah Brookheimer. These are some names today. Broek Emear Micah. How would you say it? Micah Brookmeyer. That's a lot. That's a lot. but it's r b r o i think you just gotta ignore some of those letters oh you know what i mean apparently you're not fluent in german nate

because it's brookmeyer is he is it brookmeyer i i think so yeah is it is it stupid german or is it this is high level oh high level yeah you respect Germany that makes sense I do expect uh should we start calling Brian's fans the breakfast club yeah I actually love that yeah yeah they should do that good I know is there a podcast the breakfast yeah you don't listen to breakfast club with Charlemagne the god yeah I haven't caught up it's in my list yeah yeah uh yeah I think the people that are brian fans should be a part of the breakfast club and y'all could probably meet table for four and eat say it's a small group what's behind bogo why do they go it's bogo by somebody that's they either call the breakfast

club or bogo we're bogo fans breakfast is one of the more popular names for me yeah they call you breakfast yeah what's the significance of it i mean everybody knows on this podcast so maybe we're just kind of filming can you explain it uh this is a long form the first two letters of breakfast are the first two letters of brian yeah no but i mean is there some he gets up early somebody just called me breakfast and someone just calls you nate loved it that's really as deep as it gets yeah what i just said and then we've all just made up different names. Right. They just call them breakfast.

They call them, I mean, they call them Blackboard too. Right. They just call them a different name. A different B name. Blackboard's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah, I like Blackboard. Blackboard's a funny word.

Matt Gable. Our house was damaged by a storm in early May, so we're currently living in a hotel. There's a cricket living in the air conditioning unit in our hotel room. It chirps all night and drives my wife crazy. I've convinced her that I can't hear it and have no clue what she's talking about. To be honest, the cricket is driving me nuts too. How long do I let this play out before trying to get rid of the cricket?

I mean, I think you let her listen to this, and then to get rid of the cricket? I mean, I think you let her listen to this, and then you get rid of the cricket. I say you keep going until you get a divorce. It actually plays out in court. Yeah. There was a cricket. I never heard it. There's a court.

I mean, that would be on the news. People would talk about that story. Oh, yeah. Going, where was it? And then he has a little cricket noise there. My dad used to have a box. He turned the lights off, and a cricket would always go off. And so it was like motion, light motion.

He had another one that you would hide somewhere, and the lights go off. It would be a drip. And he did it to my grandmother, my mom's mom. And she, and he had to go in there and they had to stop it. Cause she was like, she was in there with like a wrench and was going to fix it.

She was looking for it. And my mom and dad had to go in there and go, we, it's not that she was very funny. But she was like very innocent. Just like, well, I guess I got to fix this drip.

I mean, I think it was her and her sister. So they're both probably in their 70s at this point. And then my grandmother's sister. And they were both in there like, well, they figured out when the light goes off, it still does it. Why? And if you turned the light back on, it would stop? It would stop. That's so funny.

It's a great, I'll see if I can find out what it is, and I'll let you know, because it's a very fun thing to buy someone. But that's what Matt should do in court, is have that, and then just like put it under the table, and it goes lights, and the judge is like, but I hear a cricket. He goes, y'all are all crazy. And then everybody goes, well, I think Matt's crazy, he he doesn't hear crickets and he doesn't hear on that high frequency he's like the opposite of a dog he's like an elephant they don't hear his big

loud noises i don't know an elephant hears but we ever talked about you know when i was in middle school everyone had ringtones on their phone that was such a high pitch that the teacher couldn't hear it that's back when i taught middle school by the way probably what you're talking about yeah do you know what i'm talking about where kids had that on their phone i was just in the early uh i taught in the early 2000s when they cell phones first came out now it's probably you i think what teachers do you have to put the cell phone in a bag when you come into class you can't have it on you yeah they did uh but they what's the high pitch that the teacher couldn't because the teacher's older

when the teacher's older they can't hear so we would all have ringtones and our phones would be making noises that we could all hear as a kid but the the teacher couldn't hear it because it was such a high yeah i think your teacher just let it happen because i don't believe that you i don't believe there's a high pitch there is though there's not there's no way i mean is your teacher 90 or is he like 40 teachers probably in the early 30s no there's no way even that age difference you would not be able to hear it i think you absolutely can you're doing it to me right now aren't you yeah no no y'all hear it what was the frequency called brian's never known yeah I think you absolutely can. You're doing it to me right now, aren't you? Yeah. No.

Y'all hear it, don't you? What was the frequency called? Brian's never known. Yeah. That's pretty solid. That's a good joke. Let's go to traffic. Brian, yeah. You want to go ahead?

Split log world. Yeah. Give my home address out, Mike. They did, you know, we've been playing, we played the theme song during the whole episode. What? Yeah, in the back. What if we were doing that and he never heard it?

You don't hear that right now? I don't think there's. There's frequencies that younger people can't hear. If you're 125 and still can't hear it, try turning your volume up. You want to try this? Yeah. See if you can hear it? Yeah.

I distinctly, I remember I had it on my phone and i would play it and my parents couldn't hear it and then all the kids had it what's muted that's why well yeah all right we're about to play this everybody because we're just sitting there you hear it no you don't hear that you can hear it you can hear it do it again do you hear yeah dude do you hear it no oh yeah yeah you hear it too i don't believe me and the boys come on man that's crazy what's the what is it making what noise I don't know

probably messing with us I don't know it doesn't have the hertz or whatever I don't even know what you call it well I mean what's it

is it going it's just a high pitch like a noise oh my gosh wow that's unbelievable that's so crazy dude that's fun that worked out well yeah I'm glad that worked Gosh. Wow. That's unbelievable.

That's so crazy, dude. That was fun. That worked out well. Yeah. I'm glad that worked. I would borderline believe that you're not, there's no sound. I think if you believe the earth is flat, you won't be able to hear it. Ooh. All flat earthers can't hear that.

Yeah. Well, because the sound's different on a flat earth than it is a circle earth. Yeah, true. And so we are circled earth. Yeah. And then Aaron. circled earth. Yeah. And then Aaron. Circled earth.

A circled earth? Is it not a circle? Is it not a circle? What's a globe? Is a globe not a circle? It's a sphere. But it's a circle. That's true.

If you're looking at one side of it. It's a 3D circle. If you were flying in outer space, you go look at that circle over there, and then it would take you a while to get to go, I think it's a sphere. And I think you would be. But from, if you're on one side of the earth and you're coming in and you're an alien and you go, let's go see what that circle's talking about. And then you go over it and then you're like, man, this might be a sphere, dude.

And then the other guy goes, oh, yeah. I mean, but where we were coming from, it's a and he goes okay and they would probably agree yeah he goes no i understand have you ever seen it i'm honestly i'm gonna switch to flat earth now i don't like how i'm getting treated over in the not flat earth world they treat me nice and say whatever i want over there. That's crazy. Could you hear that through this? Like everybody at home could have heard that? Probably.

I think they should be able to hear that. They should be able to hear that on the podcast. So tell me if anybody is. Yeah, I want to be curious. So I'm 42. Anybody my age can do it, obviously. He only hears that one ear now. Every time I talk to him over here,

he goes, what? He doesn't know. Easy for him. He just thinks one side. Obviously, it's not broken down by age. It is. Because he's 28. The guys in the 40s could not hear the 29-year-old cook.

You could hear it, though. I was joking. You couldn't hear the 40s could not hear it. The 29-year-old couldn't. Well, you could hear it, though. I was joking. You couldn't hear it? I can't hear him. Yeah. I read lips. Yeah, everybody else is young. And us, the 40s, couldn't hear it.

We couldn't hear it. I'm a young 40s. Y'all are lumping me in with y'all's nonsense. Ginny Weiss. I'm still waiting for a response to the idea I had about having a Nate Land wedding. I don't know if I'm super committed to the idea or just want to berate you because you won't acknowledge my comment. She's talking to me about that. Yeah.

Remember the guy who had you propose to his girlfriend in the comment? Yeah. Well, Jenny, I think, suggested to him to do a nateland wedding and he says his fiance's on board with it so we would like would i marry him i don't know if you have to marry him but they could get married on the podcast oh oh yeah i'll let that happen didn't he live in england all right him and ben crichton come over yeah we'll have a ceremony yeah you guys get a boat together head on over and then yeah if we could get to if we could go where would you go let's say we go to theirs where would you have we would just go there oh it's going to be tough

to find a time that i can go there well no you can officiate it maybe you could i know that's what i'm saying we go to all of us go to England. We're groomsmen. If they're in England. Yeah. Y'all could be groomsmen. Or we'll just be his groomsmen. And you can have a real person marry you. And we'll be his groomsmen.

Make all the groom photos. Yeah. You have an old aunt that's like, I never met his friends. You know? That's going to be super confused by it. It will be tough to find the time. That's the only thing I'll tell you.

Cat Rockwell. I need to go to England. I want to go. People ask me to go. I'm dying to go to England. So do I really want to go too. Yeah. It's great over there.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. The motherland. Have you ever performed over there? Have either of y'all performed overseas? I mean, Iraq. Those are for Americans, right? Yeah. I was in China. land have you ever performed over there italian have you ever performed overseas i mean iraq those are for americans yeah i was in china well i did mine was for saddam as a private party i was there the night before they blew up his he had no idea he had no idea he had a big party going

and i was like right when i left i go hey just a heads up there's i'm hearing some stuff i might close the party down a little bit early and go to one of your other palaces. He goes, yeah, I thought I was joking because I'm a comedian. And then so happened. I always love saying that to people. They go, when you say, I go, I performed in Iraq because I've stayed at Saddam's palace.

And I say that, and I was like, he was still there, but it was good. Cat Rockwell. That sounds like a fake name, by the way. Yeah, could be. Cat Rockwell? That's the only name I believe. Cat Rockwell. Yeah, that's a fun name.

That's a good name. That's a fun name. In the 80s, when we went to a local aquatic theme park, they called it Aquatic Theme Park. You just call it a water park? Is that not what it's called? I mean, to have a name like Cat Rockwell, I think you should be saying water park. I don't think the – maybe – is this a Rockwell family?

Maybe it's a very wealthy family, and I feel like cats, they're wild cards. Well, when you read the comment, you may change your mind. My mom rinsed out bottles of log cabin syrup, filled them up with water and tied a string around it so we could have portable bottles of water. Years later, I showed a photo of my husband of me with a water-filled syrup bottle around my neck and explained that it was the late 80s before bottled water was invented. To which he replied, water bottles existed back then. It was then I discovered my parents were just too frugal to spend money on bottled water. That's pretty great.

Yeah, that's pretty great. You heard of a latchkey kid. This is a latch water kid. Yeah. I don't know what that means. Man, I wonder if it had a syrup. It feels like something my parents would do. Yeah, if it had a syrup taste to it.

There's no way you get all the syrup out of that. Yeah, it's pretty tough. I mean, unless you washed it. It seemed like a milk jug or something. I still think you'd have one sip that was like, ugh. Oh, yeah. It's a little discolored, too, probably. Yeah.

Half syrup, half water. We all got diabetes. What if it was just syrup? And they go, we all had diabetes by the age of 10. Don't know why. Day 5, 4, 6, 5. Day 5, 4, 6, 5. I think that's a real one.

You believe that one more than Cat Rockwell? Oh. That's their screen name, isn't it? What does that mean? Thanks for going along with the joke.

Pleasure. Thought I had a professional comedian over here who doesn't get jokes. I didn't move that fast. Yo, folks. I've been wondering for too long and have to ask, what are the books on top of Nate's bookshelves and

has he ever read them? If so, how long did it take? I love the show. Nate, Aaron, and Birbiglia are all awesome and essential. Keep it up. I like Birbiglia. What are they? I can answer that second question. No, he is not. Yeah.

There's a book called Train Your Brain up there. Have you been reading that one? I don't think I read Train Your Brain. I read some, not all of Outliers. I read some of Outliers. I didn't read it all. Outliers is a great book. It talks about just like the Beatles,

like having that 10,000 hours and what you gotta do and Bill Gates and Bill Gates was like he had 10,000 hours of just doing stuff on his own and the Beatles played

in some whatever bar before anybody knew who they were and it's like you needed so many songs you needed so many songs so you just hit

you just end up I think that's what New York comedy was you're just getting your hours in and you're just every day just up we went up every day uh a lot of comedy books uh do fish drink water that was a book with like weird facts which i might actually i should look at that again that was doing that i bought that book for a joke i did like just to think just to get my mind

thinking uh comedy writing step step-by-step. Comedy writing secrets. I read some of those a while ago. The Great... I don't know. I can't see everything. I'm Dying Up Here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a great book. So, yeah, I'm Dying Up Here is a great one. Yeah, just stuff like that. A lot of people think the Seinfeld DVDs are just Kraft macaroni and cheese. Oh, no, they're real DVDs. So, yeah, there's that. It's all just basic comedy books.

A couple like Seal Team Six. I read some military books. I always read those. In case Nate Lang gets attacked? Yeah. We need a military. Thank you guys for giving it something. I like the books but

then also i want the fans to know that there are a lot of helmets here also and not for sports just helmets just general just a bike helmet there's a deflated football yeah there's a brick from that hit my face at zany's he just saw zany's last night. Yeah. Saw that. Jacob Turner. I once taped a Kentucky-Tennessee basketball game back in 2008. I told my friends to not say anything about the game. One of my friends blew it and told me Kentucky won. As a Kentucky fan, I was mad he told me what happened, but happy that my team had won.

Turns out the friend was lying, so I watched the whole game only to watch us lose. And we had a shot at the buzzer to send it into overtime, which I obviously thought we made since I thought we won the game. It clanked off the rim, and I was devastated. That's hilarious. Pretty great. Your friend, I mean, might be a genius.

That's so funny. I never even thought about that. Just tell someone they won in a close game, and then they have to they that loss hurts more than ever this guy's friend should be friends with the cricket guy yeah i think those guys should hang out yeah they should his lawyer yeah the cricket guy should add he should get this guy's buddy to be his lawyer right because he's down for whatever like it's going to be like yo i'm making this up we could go to jail forever and he goes i don't care i think i can win this case uh and then he's just he and all he does is play that song he goes yeah does everybody hear it and all matt's got

his name matt right yeah all matt's got to do is be like who hears it raise your hand and matt and that guy raised their hand and then or no the opposite it's got to be the. All Matt's got to do is be like, who here's to raise your hand? And that guy raised their hand. And then, or no, the opposite. It's got to be the opposite. Oh, he's got to do the opposite. Yeah. He goes, y'all are old. Yeah, I don't know.

You know, it's funny. I posted a Slanket commercial that I did on my Instagram, and I'm watching a Vandy Kentucky. Oh, that's Kentucky-Tennessee. I'm watching a Vandy Kentucky game where Kentucky, that's Kentucky, Tennessee. Yeah. I'm watching a Vandy, Kentucky game where Kentucky won, and it was around that same time. 2008, we won the SEC Championship that year. Is that right?

Yeah, because we beat Kentucky. I'm almost positive because that was the year we beat Kentucky, and then Kentucky won the championship. You may be right. I was thinking it was a little bit later than that, but you may be right. I don't know. Maybe it was later. Anna right. I was thinking it was a little bit later than that, but you may be right. I don't know. Maybe it was later. Anna Walker, I was wondering,

when y'all meet up and do the podcast together, obviously, Broff and Briner does his own project and research for each topic, but Nate and Aaron, do you do your own research beforehand, or do you go into the podcast without any research under your belt? I mean, I think it's pretty obvious.

Yeah, i do no research uh but i mean i bring the heat every time that's true and aaron uh just lucky to be here so do you know who broffen brenner is no i've heard people say something like that yeah what is it he's a i just i just looked him up i'd'd never heard of him. Oh, okay. So you didn't know. I wasn't going to make fun of you for not knowing. You were trying to. Well, I was just curious whether you blew through the name. It was the third time you read it today.

I mean, I have active conversations about Bronfenbrenner, but it's never about this guy. It's just another guy I know named Bronfenbrenner. Yuri Bronfenbrenner was a Russian-born American psychologist. All right. Yeah. Is he alive still? No, probably not.

No. No, he died. He was dead for quite a while. Born in Moscow, Russia. Died in Ithaca, New York. Lived a life. There's two very random places. Very different places.

You're born in Moscow. Oh, cool. And then you're like, oh, where's he buried? Ithaca? Is that the town from Nashville? From Seinfeld? I started the Head Start program. What is that?

That's, I believe, starting kids in school earlier to get them a jump on their education. Oh, okay. So what do you do? Two months, you throw them in there? Yeah, get them a jump on their education. Oh, okay. So what do you do? Two months, you throw them in there? Yeah, get them in school. It's like when you make them swim. Well, three months into being born, you go to their crib and you go, party's over.

Yeah. Time to catch the bus. Hope you had fun. Yeah. And they crawl to the bus. Crawl to the bus. And they can't even reach the top part. That's right.

They can't hold their heads up. Yeah. They're all just in the classroom, just heads down. Heads up, heads up, heads up. That's where the heads up comes from. That was a head start. Kyle Techmeyer. I am a high school teacher, and last night we had our meet the teacher night via Zoom.

For every class meeting, I started out with the classic, hello, folks. At the end of one of the meetings, as parents were logging off, one of my senior parents said, let's go folks. This immediately derailed me in the best way possible as we chatted about the podcast, much to the confusion of the other parents still in the meeting. It turns out we both are going to a show in Royal Oak, Michigan. It was a long night, but that provided me with comic relief if I needed to get through it. Well, that's awesome. Well, is it? Because they should be talking about the curriculum and preparing these young people for the future.

That is true. Instead, they're having banter about your podcast. Well, this is a senior parent, so one of the seniors have kids. And so that's the school they're in. Well, he's a teacher teacher one of my senior parents i take it as he's a senior in high school and he's already a parent and his kids are already in the school that's how i read it okay all right i wish i don't know how to read jose venta i decided to buy a suit for my wedding and went to Men's Warehouse,

and the lady taking care of me was so nice, and she kept suggesting different accessories and whatnot. And by the time it was checked out time, she rang me up for $850. I paid because I was too embarrassed to be like, yeah, so after you did all this, I'm not going to pay that much. I called my wife in the parking lot to ask for a huge favor to see if she could pretend to be a bridezilla and come return the suit after shift change at the store. This is when I knew we were meant to be together because she agreed.

That's awesome. Wow. That's why. Look, I think it's either you're going to have a wife or a husband, but you got to have one of those that will do that. Who's a loose cannon? Who's a loose cannon and is going to be, that's willing to go do that.

Because I would do that too. I would just pay for it because you're like- And Laura would go in and fix it for you? Laura would go back. Or my mom. Yeah. My mom,

it depends on what kind of scene I want. If my mom will go back, my mom does it very nice, but I mean, my mom will- She nice but i mean my mom will get it done she'll get stuff done where you're like i mean the store is called we don't take refunds and she'll walk in and come out with that refund yeah she doesn't let up that's why she would have done your uh planet fitness i mean you would have might have got your all your money back yeah she would have figured it out she's just really good at that and uh laura also is good at it too like laura will call and do

that kind of stuff so i got a little you know if it's too heavy for laura i go look i'll bring in i'll bring in the big guns if you want me to and my mom will do it but yeah you gotta have that uh all right thank everybody, for listening. As always, we're going to get started with. You want to mention this? Oh. So someone made this. Nathan Udell from Green Bay, Wisconsin.

He made us a cool Nateland. Wow. You know how many license plates he had to ruin on people's cars? This took him, I mean, parking lot after parking lot. 12, I think. And he would go in, and they would watch him, usually an older couple. Right. He knows they're going to be in the grocery store for a while.

And he would just saw off. And they don't notice until they get pulled over and put in jail. That's when they notice. That's pretty awesome, man. We're going to set that up on the shelf. Yeah. Take some of those books down. Yeah.

Put down the Nate Land license plate. Yeah. Which was probably made in a prison close by. And I had Megan McCloskey, I believe that's her name. She made me this mug this weekend in Red Bank, New Jersey. If you listen to this, we just got done with Red Bank, New Jersey, and I think this is coming out in two weeks, the week of October 20th. So if you listened to it, this was a few weeks ago.

But, yeah, let's go, folks. And she makes those. I think she has Megan McCloskey. I think she has, like, I thinkloskey i think she has like i think her she might do stuff like this you know this is all she can do if she yeah if you want like hello folks i'd take it she has it well she has a hello folks okay i have it so you can have it all right uh so he's got the you have the hello folks have let's go folks people still shout it out every show i love it it's just so nice it's

filling all of us together uh baltimore first show no one shouted it out and are that i didn't hear the first show baltimore second show baltimore they did and uh i talked to a a nice young lady katrina and she goes i was going to shout it out but i was too nervous so katrina blew it and i told her i was gonna let everybody know that she blew it. Hurricane Katrina. Hurricane Katrina. Came in, blew it. Yeah, exactly.

That's pretty great. Some great banter. That's a good joke. I mean, I get why people tune in. He's writing it down to remember. Yeah. Hurricane Katrina, she blew it. And I'm like, that's good. I'm like's good mike we'll use that in my hurricane chunk that is a comedian comedian is there i always think about

that when comedians like were you talking about that uh it's so funny just like before you go up just like you're saying stuff you're like'm going to close with the refrigerator joke tonight. That's a job. A job is to tell someone that you're going to do that. You're like, hey, I'm going to do my circus stuff a little bit earlier than normal. And then another person goes, that sounds good. And they both get it. And that's crazy.

That's a conversation. Shop talk. Yeah. Yeah. Talk shop? Yeah. Yeah. I don't think it's shop talk. It shop talk that's what you say no that's what everybody says don't they say talk shop shop talk

they don't somebody look it up they don't say shop talk aaron will have it by the end of the episode uh aaron we thought was good at google and shop talk, it popped right up. Jay Cutler looked right through them. I mean, it popped right up. Talk Shop. No one says Shop Talk. But you can... I've heard Talking Shop before. Talking Shop.

Talking Shop before. No one goes, you want to do some Shop Talk? Yeah. I'm more of a concise comic. I don't like to spread things out. That's true. It's word economy, right?

Yeah, word economy. Thank you. So this week, Mike Vecchione lived many places. Right. But we like to pick Pennsylvania.

Is that the most you've lived in? Went to Penn State University 91 to 95. Wrestled? And then I wrestled for one year. For one year?

Because the guys who wrestled for the guys who were really good, I want to separate myself and give them the credit that they deserve like so another one big one people don't know greg warren greg warren greg warren very funny comedian wrestled at missouri yeah and he was he was an all-american so people in the comedy community don't understand the wrestling community and they go oh you wrestled he wrestled you guys what would happen if you guys wrestled each other i'm like he would um destroy me yeah on another level he was an all-american we had all americans up and down our lineup so he was like one of those guys yeah he was just we all

wrestled at the same time i think he took seventh in the country so that's seventh division one in the united states that's insane yeah and he plays it down obviously he's such a humble guy so i to play it up and go no no no i'm not even in the same ballpark yeah you know and did y'all wrestle around the same time he was it's a little bit older yeah yeah yeah and then uh would you ever heard of him back then or is it there's no no but there was a guy like he yeah i mean if you looked at the rankings and stuff, you would see he was a guy. Yeah.

He was an All-American. That's so crazy. That's like when Kurt Angle wrestled Brock Lesnar for real. Right. When nobody, like not, you know, and he, Brock's so much bigger, but Kurt just took him down because he knew how to do the right things. Yeah, Kurt Angle was a beast. Yeah.

And so was Brock Lesnar. Those guys were two- He wrestled- They were national champions. Yeah. You win a beast. And so was Brock Lesnar. Those guys were two. He wrestled. They were national champions. You win nationals. But Kurt was All-American, right? I mean, gold medal. Yeah.

So that's how much better a wrestler. Because Brock Lesnar is that good. He was a national champion. National champ. And then he goes to the Olympics, Kurt Angle. Angle. Angle. And he's not even close. No.

He wins the Olympics. That's so crazy. You would think, though, that... You know when they wrestle in the WWE? For fun. For fun. It's a sports entertainment, but as competitors, these guys were insane. Unbelievable.

They didn't wrestle for real. No, no, no. Yeah, I'm making a... It wasn't... They just did it for real, but not on TV. Just to see... Did they wrestle each other competitively? I don't know what years

they were. I know they were both national champs, but at heavyweight... No, he's saying they did it one day. It was like, hey, let's have a real wrestle. They don't tape it. It's like just them... The real thing. The real thing. People watched. Like at the beginning of Rocky IV. Yeah. And I hope your fans get real thing. People watched. Like at the beginning of Rocky IV. Yeah. Yeah.

And I hope your fans get that reference. Yeah. Apollo Creed. Yeah, the older ones will. Kurt Angle from Pennsylvania, right? Yep. Yeah, he's from PA. Oh.

How about that? So Pennsylvania, you think your longest time that you've lived, or Florida is probably your longest. Florida, probably. Yeah. But Pennsylvania, I had great years in Pennsylvania. 91 to 95, then moved to Philly, and from Philly, 95 to 2003. And taught.

12 years. You taught school. I taught, got my master's. I got undergrad from Penn State University in criminal justice. That sounds bad. Penn State University? Undergrad. Blue and white?

Undergrad. Undergrad. I don't know what that really means, but that's, you know, it sounds made up, and it sounds... I always think undergrad sounds not good. It's very insulting. That means you graduate. Do you know what an adjunct professor is? Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, were we allowed to talk about that? Because Nate doesn't know what that is. If he doesn't know what college is, he probably doesn't know what an adjunct professor is. Oh, yeah. I don't. No. So it's off limits.

Yeah. This podcast is making me look... I don't want to make you look bad on your yeah um this podcast is making me look I don't want to make you look bad thank you on your podcast we're close yeah so uh I got my undergrad criminal justice from Penn State and then uh went to Philly and started working with uh gang kids gang kids at a school called Glenn Mills which is no longer longer there. It took adjudicated kids that were going to go to lock up and tried to rehabilitate them. Not tried, they did a great job. And then I just started working in the mental health system with kids. And then I went back at night for five years and got a master's in special education. And then I taught for five years in

Philadelphia and then a working class suburb called Upper Darby, and then a upper middle class suburb called Garnet Valley. That's great. And then I moved to New York. And threw it all away. Threw it all away for comedy. Yeah. I feel like we put you on the stand to prove you're an expert witness. Yeah.

You're just like Marissa Tomei. Yeah. My cousin Vinny up there. Yeah. Do you hear the cricket noise right now? I hear the cricket noise when I do my set. Yeah. That's pretty solid.

Yeah, that's why I quit teaching. This past weekend, cricket in the ceiling of the club. Oh, really? The whole show. Oh, wow. That's kind of charming for a comedy club. Yeah. If a joke's getting nothing and then a cricket is naturally up there,

it's not even a joke sound. Yeah. It's always tough because you're like you you address it and then no one really moves on from it did everybody move on or is it kind of like you just hear it it wasn't super loud that like it dominated the room okay but i could hear it and the people in the front yeah you acknowledge comics could hear it i didn't because the the guy before me did oh you should have said i didn't hear it because i was killing so hard yeah yeah but the guy before me told me yeah then should have said I didn't hear it because I was killing so hard. Yeah.

Yeah. But the guy before me told me. Yeah, then the cricket got quiet and I heard laughs from up there. And I go, wow, this guy's a fan. Yeah, that's almost the best way that situation should be handled is you have the person that goes up first, make fun of it, address it, and then when you go up we're not addressing it and just try to get it out of people's minds because it's always like sometimes you can hear a noise and you think should i address it and you're like if i address this

then it's going to continue to happen i'm going to have to keep bringing it up the whole show yeah and then people can't do it i have a joke joke about that now, about this girl's laugh, which I'm not going to say because it's a joke. But it was like that, where it was like, it wasn't going to go good. You have to address it. You have to address it. Well, I had an incident. This happened a couple times where it's like,

the room is full, which I know is hard for you to believe, but sometimes the room gets full for me. And there's people in the front, and'm doing, you know, everything's timing. People don't realize that, you know. And the people in the front are going, yeah, yeah, yeah, I did that too. I did it too. But they're saying it so that you can hear it, but they're trying to make it about themselves, but they're saying it, but they're right in the front so no one else can hear, but they're

saying it to you. And it's like, you have to stop the show and go, hey, dude, you got to stop doing that. Yeah. You're throwing my timing off. Like, you have to stop the show and go, hey dude, you gotta stop doing that. You're throwing my timing off. Like, you have to stop. They're like, what? What am I doing? I'm like, you know what you're doing.

Stop doing it because it's gonna ruin the show. I can't, I already have trouble thinking on my own and you doing this is making it way worse. I don't know why. And then they just sit there with a crown on their face the entire time. It's like, what do you, do you understand what this is? You wouldn't do that in a play.

Just say stuff. So you have to do that. And then you have to try to get the rest of the room back, which is challenging. Yeah, yeah. That was one thing you learned. Those are the little tricks that are little things you got to learn kind of on the fly.

And someone says it. I remember someone saying that. If of on the fly, and someone says it. I remember someone saying that, like, if you ask the crowd something and they yell it out, you always repeat it in the microphone because you can't – people can't hear what they say. And sometimes you wouldn't think to repeat it, and then you're like, well, then I make the joke and no one really laughs because I don't even know what that person yelled. And so you got to do it or you got to address like that kind of situation i'll try not

to to but then you get to a point where you're like well it's not it's happening if it's happening early in the set you're like look i have an hour here and it's happening five minutes in and it's like oh this is going to be because i don't want to address it either i want to keep i want to try to build momentum and the fun but if it's like five minutes in, you're like, I have 40 more minutes of this. It's like, I got to do this in the – but it's like you try to have fun with it and make it a joke, but you almost can't make it a joke in that situation because you got to let the person know that you're serious. Like, it's not funny. Yeah. Like, I'm not having a good time with this.

So it's like, please stop doing it. It's ruining the show. Yeah. Yeah, it's like – because what you you gotta understand is it makes our mind wander and so we're trying to do our jokes and we know the jokes and trying to really get into a rhythm with the show and murder and hope and make everybody have a good time and if it's just like like up front and no one can hear that's all you can think about and so then you just hear it and you're trying to go through it and then it's like it's not happening and you're it's good if you stop it early yeah and then say it you don't want to like make someone feel bad but now what i try to say is like look i don't want you to get kicked out i want you to be

here yeah i appreciate you being i want you to be here yeah but please stop like you guys i i don't want you to get kicked out yeah i want you to have a great time. Yeah. I just did a show where I looked down and my shoestring was untied. So the whole set, I'm debating, do I stop, put this mic down, and stop for the time I shoot? And in my head, I'm thinking, I don't think anybody can see it or notice. And when I got done, so many people after the show said, the whole time you were up there, all I could focus on was that shoe being untied. That's hilarious.

That's all they thought about. Yeah. Yeah. That's really cool. that's a baits show right there like baits when you get done with it you go there's always one thing that you're like there was a there's a white mark on the stage behind you and i could only think you, your watch was undone. It's backwards. I'd noticed that for some reason. And I could never, that's all I thought about. Because they don't, there's, you don't like.

I don't kill enough to distract people. No, I'm saying they don't kill enough, but you don't look like a kid could do that. Yeah. And you would think Pete Davidson could do it. And you'd be like, oh, he's cool. He leaves his shoe untied. They untie their shoe. Yeah, you move on. Yeah. And then with like, oh, he's cool. He leaves his shoe untied. They don't tie their shoes. Yeah, you move on.

And then with you, you're like, he forgot to tie his shoe. Bless his heart. Bless his heart. He may fall. Someone walks up and goes, hey, and they tie it for him. You got to – those situations, like, because you think – it's very funny, like, when doing comedy with that, because you're like, that's why comedy is – that's why it's so hard is because you're, you know, you have to be on the whole time.

You're not a band where it's like they can be looking at a bunch of different things or they can talk and it doesn't matter because no one can hear. It's the most focus on just one singular person. I check my zipper all the time up there. I just kind of touch it like right when I get up just to make sure. If like, if a laugh gets too hard, if I get too hard of a laugh, I'll check my zipper

because I'm like, I don't know if that was, I don't trust that laugh. And then you're like, you're like sitting there like, is something on me? And then they, and so you,

but you're there. I think that moment you got to tie your shoe and you make a joke about it. You put in the mic stand, you tie your shoe, and then you're going to, and you just know as a comedian, you're good enough to come up with something funny. Yeah. And it's a very real moment.

Yeah. And people like real moments. Yeah. And so you do it, you tie your shoe. People also like you to be dressed before you go on stage. Yeah. Yes, that's true. Maybe show them respect.

Yeah. You know, when you walk out there. I just did a corporate show, and the guy before me was a motivational speaker. He had the whole headset, like a TED Talk, and he was great. He spoke for over an hour. Everybody's taking notes. I started taking notes. He was so good.

Talking about how it changed your life. Talking about how everything in life is a deposit or withdrawal. Anytime you take a sip of water, it's a deposit or soda. I mean, just how your whole life is. And then I have to follow him. Did he take the sip of water from a maple syrup bottle that was around his neck? Call back. I'm sorry.

He squeezes it. And then just drops it from there and it lands on his stomach. But then I have to follow him and my whole set is just about self-deprecating how yeah you know if things are not going well for me and he was in the audience watching and the whole time it's so great after every joke you should have gone withdraw and then at the end go bankrupt good night that would have been unbelievable unbelievable it was just a very shift in the day you just see the mood of the room shift to you gotta yeah that's a that's a that's a situation that they're tough and you gotta just go i know how to do it and you have to address that there's times you

don't have to address something and there's times that you just like i gotta start with addressing this so i can talk about like i know this is ridiculous that i'm up here now that guy was amazing i you know saying that like i did address it yeah yeah it's like you just do that and then uh that's you know because that is a good way to think it's the withdrawal and uh and deposit yeah so you're depositing. Water's good. Soda's bad. So you're withdrawing. Yeah. Even though you're depositing it, it's going nowhere.

But it's hurting your body. Like it's not even a neutral. It's. Yeah. Was it like a nutrition? No, it was just. That was just one example. It was like what Nate was saying.

Like you make a joke, put somebody in a good mood. That's a deposit deposit a positive deposit then they're depositing they're bringing that goodwill around to everybody else you know versus saying something negative to somebody now puts them in a bad mood now they're negative to everybody yeah usually i'm doing i live that life right right so that's what we're getting to this guy is just looked at my life nicest man in stand-up and and said, I'll just talk about him. Is that what we're... I'm all right today. But is it thoughts-wise? Did he do something about thoughts? I mean, you took notes.

Yeah. Yeah, he did talk about... Where are the notes? Well, I don't have them on me, but he talked about relationships with your wife and at your work and just very positive. I usually make people feel better about themselves by talking about my life. He just made them feel better about themselves by just giving them positive stuff to talk about. Right. Wow.

Well, that's when you make fun of yourself. You've got to have some confidence in it to have fun with it. We talked about when you were first starting and you don't do it anymore. But like it was like you have at the beginning when you're self-deprecating, you have a hard time where people feel sad for you. It's a balance. And so you're like you got to do it in a way that it's not sad. Right. And then they can laugh with you.

So instead of them laughing, you're not – don't make them laugh at you. You want them to laugh kind of with you and be like, oh, I've or or they think oh i knew he would do that that's so funny and you got to get them in that kind of thought process that was i mean i've talked about here the stuff with my wife jokes yeah was always like at the beginning you could be too mean and people are like why are you married you're like well that's not then i got to figure out how to whether i give i do jokes about giving her some wins. She's got to be, you know, the powerful one in the relationship. And then I'm the dumb one. And then there's times that I can be the powerful one.

And it's a balance. So you show a marriage because that's what a marriage is, is not one person's better than the other. It's like they have their ups and downs. He's good at this. She's good at that. You know, whatever. I like it if you just switch now i'd like

to do my saudi arabian set yeah and just be like i mean they nailed it right because and they shouldn't be driving yeah good night good night everybody that's a great orny adams jokes about them voting where he goes yeah he goes i mean you know then we had a vote to see if women could vote well how do we lose that vote? Like, that's a very, I think about that joke all the time. Yeah. It's just a very funny,

it's always like little jokes you think of that just kind of stick with you. And you're like, that's one of them. I think he tells that in Comedian. Yeah, I think so too. But it's, and so maybe it's, but it's always, I don't remember all of Seinfeld's jokes in Comedian, but that one always stuck with me.

Like, I don't know, you know, you just jokes as a comedian, but that one always stuck with me. Like, I don't know. You know, you just have jokes that kind of stick with you, and you're like, oh, yeah. And little bits and pieces. It's usually the simplest thing. It's usually the simplest. It just sticks with you. It's so funny.

Yeah. And you're like, that's so funny. You know? So Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania. I lived in Philly for eight years. What do they say about it? Philadelphia and Pittsburgh

Alabama in between Wow That's funny I'm from Ohio originally Ohio is a great wrestling state Pennsylvania and Iowa At least when I was coming up The two best wrestling states

It's always those northern Blockheads Hill folk probably the two, at least when I was coming up, the two best wrestling states. It's always those northern kind of like blockheads. Blockheads, hill folk. Yeah, that's what he called us. A lot of country boys. That's what he called us this weekend. Hill folk. He always called me Travis and Chase, our merch guy, hill folk.

He goes, I'm sorry, is the hill folk talking? He's just talking about us three. And it was the best put down I've ever heard in my life. Hill folk. Hill folk is so funny to just be a bunch of hill folk over you like it is like i mean you can't say anything back to that you're like oh yeah i guess just running up a hill we live on the side of a mountain look at all those hill folk up there drinking water out of maple syrup bottles yeah your whole

lives what's uh first Pennsylvania thing? That's one of the original 13 colonies. Wow. Y'all live off that, huh? You've been eating off that for quite a while. Pretty solid. Yeah. It was founded by William Penn.

Yeah. Good dude. Haven for the Quakers. He was a good guy? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. He wanted to just be called Sylvania, which is Latin for woods. Yeah. Hill folk.

But King Charles II named it Pennsylvania after his father, after Penn's father. Right. But Penn was worried that the settlers would believe he named it after himself. So he was worried that everybody would be like, oh, great. It's an ego state. So he might be. It's a state with a lot of people with huge egos. Sounds like it.

Sounds like a good guy. Or at least to have that thought process. How much of a fight did he put up yeah he may have made all that up yeah uh i'm sure he said he goes i don't know how does it look and then you're like no dude it just solvania sounds bad like pennsylvania sounds really good and you're and look it just happens to be that and you did find this land it's not crazy crazy. Yeah. And now, looking back, you wouldn't think that's an ego thing, but I understand the idea. So I think it's – and there is probably some pride in the fact that you don't want to say it, but then everybody else says it.

You're like, I don't know. Yeah, that's my thing. Ego. Because I was going to name it William Penn, but Pennsylvania is better. If you found an island and you had naming rights to it, would you name it? I'd name it Nateland now. You would name it Nateland? It's like somebody calling something Nateland.

Yeah. I would never think somebody would do that. I talked to someone about an island, something in, this island's in a river, and you can buy them, and they're not crazy. It's, I don't know how much they are. It might be like $150,000, like 150 200 000 for an island yeah which is like i mean the houses are more than that and it's out in the middle of nowhere but it's like i can one day just buy an island yeah and you uh it would be crazy like that would be the best thing ever just to have an island and just go to it and just know

you know yeah you're on an island. I mean, would you go to it or would you just put your enemies on that island? I might do that. You go to the island. When I don't want to go, I would then run it out to prisons. He would take me out there on a boat, and then when I'm not looking, he would just take off. He just hears me. And he doesn't hear that noise.

Now that frequency is too not enough for him. You're like, that's one. You're like, well, this is over 70. You don't hear this. He looks back and I still haven't turned around. I heard nothing. He's just sitting there with his hands on his hips. Bates just looking at the new land.

Hearing nothing. Quiet back there. Yeah. He loves it. Pennsylvania sounds like a vampire state. I'm glad they used Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania is an upbeat place. I'm trying to think what states are named after

a person. Washington. Right. Is there any other? Most of them are like Native American names. Yeah. Let's get into it. Georgia. Let's dive into it. I think that's interesting. No? Georgia's one. Oh, who's it named after?

King George, man. Alright. Come on, dude. Tighten up. Philadelphia. is one oh who's the name king george man all right come on dude tighten up uh philadelphia philadelphia was the nation's capital yes i didn't know that yeah i didn't know that and y'all lost it we lost it you didn't have it for long right 10 years i think how do you lose it well they were building the white house i think or the capital building in dc and so that'd be great if they were doing it in secret it's like we're keeping this as the capitol right yeah yeah why are you guys building a white house over there yeah it's like just no we just wanted a guy moved in over there it's family who is it it's like abraham lincoln

abraham lincoln bought that house that's a white you go yeah he just bought it don't worry about it don't i wouldn't even get crazy about it who would want to live there it's in the middle of the city it doesn't even make sense we're gonna fence around it secret service up top but it's we're not gonna take anything from y'all and then y'all left and left the bell yeah the cracked bell the cracked bell you go y'all keep that belly the bell. Yeah, the cracked bell. The cracked bell. Y'all can keep that bell. It's cracked. Put it in a museum. That's all you got.

Yeah. Well, we got Rocky also. We got Rocky. That's the great. It's the best. When Burr went off on Philadelphia, it was like y'all worship a, your best athlete is a movie.

Yeah. It's a fake guy. It's a fake guy. It's a fake guy. Joe Frazier is from there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Slap in the face. It's such a slap in the face to Joe Frazier. He's the greatest boxer in Philadelphia.

Everybody goes, Rocky. And Joe's like, well, I'm here. I'm real. Yeah, and I'm real. And would murder Rocky. It's nicknamed the Keystone State. Yeah. To the beer?

I don't think so. I think the beer was probably named after something. After the Keystone Pipeline. I think that's why they did it. They said it was such a keystone to establishing the country. And that's what they said? That's a way worse reason than ours. Yeah, I'd rather pipeline.

I think just a stat here, I don't know if it's on your sheet there, but the most pro quarterbacks I think have come out of the Pittsburgh, Aliquippa area. Yep. Joe Namath, Joe Montana, these guys all. Dan Marino. Dan Marino. They all come out of Pennsylvania.

Johnny Unitas, I think. Yeah. Wow. What are they doing special there? I don't know. I think it's in the water. That are they doing special there? I don't know. I think it's in the water. I don't know. Oh, wow, dude.

That's Johnny Unitas, Joe Montana, Joe Namath, Dan Marino, Jim Kelly, George Zablanda, Terrell Pryor. Johnny Lujak. Johnny Lujak. Go Irish. Golly, that's crazy. Yeah. Kerry Collins, Matt Schaub, Bruce Grodowski.

Rich Gannon. Matt Ryan. Yep. Rich Gannon. That's crazy, dude. He trained people to be quarterbacks. Yeah. That is unreal.

Gus Ferret. Gus Ferret. Ferret. Yeah, he was great. I mean. The list is getting worse. Let's move on. Yeah.

No, I mean, he's still like, every time you go, you're like, well, I know who that person is. John Huffnagle. Yeah. That's crazy. That's a lot of people. Wow. High school football is real big in Pennsylvania. Huge, yeah.

That's impressive, man. Pennsylvania has more Amish than any other state. Joe Paterno. Right. I just did a one-nighter for Soljo. Shout out to Soljo. Soljo. Yeah, we took a great Soljo on you.

The best. It was fantastic. And we saw Amish on the way there. Yeah. I think that's a, you know, you used to, I don't know, you used to think, wow, it'd be tough to live. Why would you do that? Blah, blah, blah.

But it's actually, now that I think about it, fantastic. Yeah. Fantastic way to live. Well, that was, yeah, it's, when you see them, you're like, it's got to be just such a great. Great. Like, you know, as a kid, you wouldn't understand it. Right.

In the older you get, you do. Someone said, like, yesterday, which, if you listen, this was a couple weeks ago, but when, like, Instagram or Facebook went down, you know, it's like, is this good or bad? And you're like, it's not bad. you know it's like is this good or bad and you're like it's not bad like it's you know yeah it's it's not a bad thing it's it's like enjoy the day of like well i can't look at my phone so yeah and then just enjoy you start to realize how addicted you are to it you know i mean like it's like oh wow i can't check my phone think about

how many times you pulled it and it said couldn't refresh yeah if you pulled that a hundred times you're wildly addicted to it i shut my phone off and on i deleted the app and then reinstalled it yeah and i don't know how to do anything yeah i know how to do that i was like yeah i was like a rat just hitting a pellet yeah you didn't just uh look up on twitter is instagram down and they go yes i won't betray instagram by going on twitter oh yeah look at him separate entities yeah that's good but surely there's a way to live in between being addicted there isn't and don't call me shirley and uh he did the fist pop that's a podcast first that's a podcast first initiated the fist bump he loves it i don't know if that was for me but i took it no it was it was uh so vecchia was doing it all weekend

uh and it's very funny uh the fist bump and i forgot i was talking about your fist bump but every like he just says it he called us hill folk and he's like right and he'll just do it to us and you gotta go yeah that's insulting why do i he'll just do it to us, and you got to go. That's insulting. Why do I have to do it? It's a very funny – yeah. If you're at home, it's a very funny thing. Just trash someone to their face and be like, right? And then make them fist bump.

And then they're going to naturally just be like – and they fist bump their own thing that they got made fun of. I was surprised that Amish has grown. It seemed like it would be something that would be fading out. It's like doubling since 2010. And they're not taking in new members. Well, there's people born. That's what I'm saying.

That's what's crazy. Why aren't they? Because it's, I mean. They're full? Yeah, do they take members? I don't know if you take members there. I read a book a long time ago called Growing Up Amish. Yeah.

And it's this guy who, believe it or not, grew up Amish. And he wrote in it that it is extraordinarily rare for someone outside of the community to join. In his entire life, he only knew of one guy. Yeah. So unless that's changed dramatically, that's all just people having kids. Did he also say, we would love it if people joined

and no one wants to? They have no interest. They have no interest in growing their numbers at all. They're just like, we just want to live our life the way we live it. Yeah, yeah. That's great. They're having a lot of kids, though. Yeah, they must be.

Well, I mean, they have to. They don't have entertainment. At the end of living in Philadelphia, I worked with my buddy, just some part-time stuff like installing marble. We installed Italian marble into this house and as we were installed as a beautiful house that we were carrying the marble into and installing it the amish were doing woodwork at the same time and it was top of the line unbelievable yeah yeah it was all in the same house yeah in the same house like we were installing the marble tops and they were doing they were doing some woodworking and i just happened to go and on a break and look at their woodworking it is just phenomenal they're phenomenal so they looked

at you a meathead carrying italian marbles italians now in italy yeah so they looked at like oh that's what the italians are at, carrying heavy things. Right. And then you look at the Amish, and y'all both respected each other. Acknowledged. Yeah. Yeah. I think so. Pennsylvania was founded as a Quaker state. Quaker state.

That's pretty solid. But that's different than Amish? Yeah. Well, there's not like a monolithic just Amish. There's a bunch of different types of- Man, no one knows what that word means. Monolithic, yeah, for Nate. Can you break it down? We all looked at Nate immediately. Yeah. There's not like a monolithic just Amish. There's a bunch of different types of monolithic. Yeah, for Nate. Can you break it down?

We all looked at Nate immediately. Yeah, I don't think he knows what Amish is. I think he's – that's what I would assume. You get to a point, you ask one question too many, so then you come back with just a giant word. And then everybody goes, oh, I guess he does know this stuff. And then we move on, and you hope we move on. But I think you were done.

No one answers. And so you threw out monolithic. No. I'm saying I don't think there's not one big Amish group where they all have the same rules and live the same way. It's a bunch of different types of communities. So it really depends on where you're from. But I don't think Quaker is a sect of Amish.

They're different. They're totally different? Yeah, they're totally different. I think they're totally different. Like a section of? A sect. Is that a section? It's a section.

Is it? But people don't say sect. People say, that's where section came from, that root word, sect. Why would they not say section? That's the more popular one. I know, but that's the, so every time you see them say a sect, it just means section. No, a sect is a group of people. Yeah.

A section is a part of something, an object. So sect is just, sect is a group of people yeah a section is a part of something even an object so sect is just it's a group okay let's go back to the guy who taught middle school yeah yeah let's see what he's thinking about i always my big word i always use was the only one i knew was encyclopedia and i would just throw that out if i needed someone says something i was like well you know our encyclopedias are doing really good right now just that was my big word you just said it wrong too encyclopedia no i think i'd say encyclopedia i encyclopedia i didn't mean that was a sentence came too close together but encyclopedia was my big that's somebody goes what's your big word i go encyclopedia was my big that's so funny goes what's your big word i go encyclopedia oh yeah and then that's all in it's such a funny word you know nothing it's in the encyclopedia

but you know you know the word i know it's a long way to get to the end of it and so that's what i would do encyclopedia do you ever see the friends episode where an encyclopedia salesman comes to joey and he can only afford to buy one letter, so he buys V, and he just knows everything about V stuff, but nothing else. It's very funny. It's Pindulet. That's right. It's Pindulet. Benjamin Franklin inaugurated the first public zoo in Philadelphia. Who? Benjamin Franklin.

He designed it? He inaugurated. What's the zoo called? Pittsburgh? The people in Pittsburgh are not going to like that one that i can't wait to see the comments next week pittsburgh it was supposed to open in 1859 but it was delayed till 1874 because the civil war was going on not a good time i guess to have animals. Yeah. Phil should have tried it. You know. First zoo. First public zoo.

People at private zoos. Yeah. He's like, hey, want to see my zebra? Get over here. Hey, pal. Hey. Your head comes out. In a just making noises what you see we'll see a zoo it's private yeah what's a zoo

it's this private thing i lock animals in cages that's cool man and you just go back look at yeah that guy's got a tiger back that's crazy uh some famous people from Pennsylvania Bill Cosby Jerry Sandusky Mike Vecchione Oh wow Wow

Wow Boom Boom Mike That was great Hill people Hill folk Hill folk

Returned fire It really does Speaking of Gettysburg Yeah It's getting some bad news yeah uh bad news baits too yeah that's a great one yeah yeah that's a great nickname come with like a black cape yeah oh he is it's about to unleash everyone he's bringing something this all started with he talked about babies dying for like 30 minutes.

It was relevant at the moment. The episode was called Best Time to Be Alive. Yeah. Tried to balance it out. Most casualties of the entire Civil War was at Gettysburg, Battle of Gettysburg. Wow. How many? 23,000 Union and 28,000 Confederate. that's so many people man yeah that's a real

like that's it's crazy it's like that's a real war like it's the like it's what you know it's like straight up you're meeting on a field and you're like let's go and it's a civil war too it's like you you can speak the same language so it it's like, Hey, can you, you shot me? Stop shooting. Can you stop stabbing me with the thing on the end of the month? Come on, man. I'm already hurt, dude.

Yeah. Come on. You know, what's that? Is that Randy Moss where he does the, come on, man. The whole civil war is that come on,

man. I'm already, I got hit. I'm walking back to my side i'm out i'm out like it's dodgeball i'm already got hit already got hit relax relax but there's i mean he was like brothers and yeah i mean it's just brutal dude that's brutal time must have been a brutal time i mean yeah that's so hard dude and there You're just fighting your own people. Just a curiosity. Do you ever look at life expectancy?

I'm 48, so I look at life expectancy. In 1901, I would be taking my last breath about right now. We talked about it on Best Time to Be Alive. That's what we did because it's a lot longer now. Yeah, everybody died really young. Young, like 30 was like your grandfather. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You ever been to a Civil War reenactment? Uh-uh. I think that's great, though. I love that idea. Would you go to one? Absolutely. I would go.

Absolutely. I want to go to Gettysburg. I'm going to stop. I'm going to try to go to it on the bus when we go up around that way. And I haven't been close enough yet to it, but I'm going to try to do it. I didn't take Harper to that one. He's a Civil War reen'm gonna try to do it i didn't take harper to that one uh but not civil war reenactor did you i knew i knew guys that did that's yeah so but i i went to one in a field trip when i was younger we went to one yeah uh but i haven't been as an adult i feel like it'd be much how was it it was a blast it was a blast i also want to go to the renaissance

like a renaissance thing i've done that. Yeah. I did that in Nashville. Where you eat dinner and watch a show and like, I want to be in it. Well, I mean, what's that restaurant called where they do that? Medieval Times. Yeah. Medieval Times. That's a great restaurant. They're still around, right?

Yeah, they still got those. You would think that those would be doing, they should, people need to go to those. It's very fun. It's very fun to take kids to it. They come out and like I went as kids and you're like, this is the best thing ever. They do jousting and stuff? Yeah. I don't feel like there's enough of them.

I don't think there's one here. Yeah. All right. Just average people can joust? Mm-hmm. At a table for two? It's like, would you like to joust? Two horses that are like, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo.

They just go very slow at each other, and then one guy drops his stick and he's like, God. He's just frustrated by it. I like the idea of jousting for a table. Oh, yeah. A table for two and we have the Smiths versus the Johnsons. Yeah, put them out there. Let's go. Throw them out there.

Fight to the death. Yeah. Do you know what the most popular tourist attraction in Pennsylvania is? Hold on. It's a statue of Mike Vecchione in Penn State. They have a statue of you? Yeah. They took Joe Paterno down.

They put up Mike Vecchione. That's how far the line they had to go to find just a decent person at Penn State. Wait, what was the question? James Franklin's at Penn State. James Franklin, yeah. Most popular tourist attraction. In Pennsylvania or Philadelphia? Is it Gettysburg?

Pennsylvania. It's not Gettysburg? Can I guess? The steps. Rocky steps? Yeah, the Rocky statue. That's a good guess, but no. The Rocky.

The bell? It's not the bell, is it? The bell. Stakes. No. It's not in Philadelphia. Wow. Where is it?

Something in Pittsburgh. If I tell you, I know. Pittsburgh Brewing. Steelers Stadium? It's in in Philadelphia. Wow. Where is it? Something in Pittsburgh. If I tell you, I know. Pittsburgh Brewing. Steelers Stadium? It's in Hershey, Pennsylvania. Oh, wow. That's number one in the state? Yeah.

According to this. I just was there. We were just in Hershey, Pennsylvania, and it was three shows. Unbelievable show. And we went to Hershey Park, Hershey World. Did we talk about that yet? With Nick?

Show Nick. Yeah, the Hershey thing. And so, yeah, I get it, dude. I mean,

it's a cool, cool area. It's very cool. Yeah. Yeah, that's cool. I get that. They have a zoo in there.

Yeah. I didn't even expect that. Yeah, we saw a zoo. Zoo. We walked at the backwards way. Yeah. That was dumb. The rides, we didn't go on any of the, we saw a zoo. We walked it the backwards way. Yeah. That was dumb.

The rides, we didn't go on any of the rides. You tried. I tried. The line was just too long. Yeah. It wasn't because we were afraid. How close is that to Gettysburg? I think it's on the land of Gettysburg.

So I counted that as going to Gettysburg. I was told, they were told us they would hide behind this roller coaster. They be they'd wear a red shirt get behind the red roller coaster and then just dump out at them it's a great town though man yeah it's just somebody want to take her daughter to gettysburg instead of the hershey no i would take her to both but uh but you can only do one yeah but yeah she should go see Gettysburg. Pat Oliveri invented the Philly cheesesteak. I hope I'm saying his name right. Is that the name of it, Pat's?

Pat's and Gino's are across the street from each other on 9th Street, which is the Italian market in Philadelphia. And which one do you think is better? Because Pat's the original. I like Pat's, but I never get a cheesesteak. I get a roast pork with broccoli rabe and sharp provolone. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

No bread? Actually, Tony Luke's is better. No, I'll eat bread now. That's soft bread. He's referring to the fact that I went keto for a long time, and I would denounce bread to the point where we were on the bus. He's like, do you put bread in the refrigerator or do you leave it out? I go, bread is for the weak. And he had to ask somebody

else awkwardly on the bus yeah travis my tour manager puts the bread in the refrigerator keeps it in there i've never heard of that yeah and then he goes perfect travis just goes yeah it makes it last longer and you're like but i don't want to eat i go what do you do when you eat a sandwich he goes you eat cold meat on cold bread. And that's normal. And I was like, no one does this. Laura puts it in the freezer when she buys some, so it saves. That's keeping it. Yeah, but I don't eat cold bread.

No one does that. I think my grandmother did that. Yeah, well, your grandmother, Travis. She's a Bears fan, too. That's my tour manager. That's what he's mad. He goes, he does everything else great. And I'm furious about the bread.

Y'all put syrup in the fridge? No. No, I don't either. Yeah. Lucy does. Ketchup's out of the fridge. That's a big one. We talked about that thing.

Oh, you guys do ketchup free range? Yeah. Sorry. I don't know if it's... I probably left it in the fridge, to be honest, that joke. Or microwave it, let it heat up a little bit. I keep my ketchup out of the refrigerator. And Laura, we didn't growing up, and Laura didn't.

But I was like, every time you eat ketchup, it's warm. It's at a restaurant. It's at wherever. Every time you use ketchup. You don't ever It's at a restaurant. It's at wherever. Every time you use ketchup. You don't ever do cold ketchup unless you go to someone's house. Don't they tell you to refrigerate after opening? It's been going great, and I've been doing it for 15 years. And it's going, I've never had a problem.

Okay. I mean, the only reason you would do that stuff is if you're like, yeah, if you eat ketchup twice a year, then yeah, you need to do it. If ketchup is in your life, then you don't have to do it. That's all condiments you do that? All of them. Mustard? Maybe mustard's in the refrigerator.

Mayonnaise you got to put in the fridge. Mayonnaise is in the refrigerator. Mustard, I believe, is in the refrigerator. Yeah, mustard's in the refrigerator. But then ketchup, I don't. Wow. I think Laura has it in there and she microwaves it when you're not around. No, she doesn't. I got her, why would you, you don't ever eat it cold. You don't ever Wow. I think Laura has it in there and she microwaves it when you're not around. No, she doesn't.

I got her. Why would you, you don't ever eat it cold. You don't ever use ketchup cold anywhere. I guess not. Except at your house. I guess not. And it's because they want to keep it. That's fair.

But I mean, how bad, they act like ketchup can't handle it. Ketchup can't. It just gets put on a shelf and then it's weak and it's like, I don't, like getting so hot. And you're like, well don't, like, getting so hot. And you're like, well, let me get you in the fridge. There's so many chemicals in it, probably it could sustain itself. It's fine, yeah. And ketchup invented in Pennsylvania, right?

I don't know. Heinz? Isn't Heinz in Pittsburgh? Yes, that's right. That's true. That's a good pull. Yeah. Thanks, man.

Surprised you didn't look that up. Solid. And that was a legitimate fist bump. That wasn't like, I'm scorching you, or you're scorching me. you're still the cheesesteak here yeah yeah i'm sorry the cheesesteak is uh but it's fantastic food in philadelphia and i'll tell you what in new york it's great food but you have to pay for it like the food is expensive and a lot in a lot of places in south philadelphia though a lot of these corner like italian places and i haven't been back in a long time but the food is legitimately homemade and delicious and cheap at least it was it was like delicious and cheap so good yeah so good there

was a place in south philadelphia called evelyn and shanks when i was dating a girl in south philadelphia we'd get up in the morning and go to this place and it was a hole-in-the-wall place three women and cooking like in a kitchen four. And it was the greatest food you've ever eaten. Fried meatballs. It was just through the roof. Yeah. And only four tables. So they could only.

Like four tables. There's always a line. No, I don't know how many people knew about this before the internet really. Probably enough. Before the, I mean, yeah. I always think that's the best way to start a restaurant is do something like that. I would think most restaurants, when they have trouble starting, because it's a hard thing to start, is they get them too big.

And so you're like, that's like, you know, comedy clubs can have that trouble. They build one and be like 600 seats, and you're like, not everybody can sell 600 tickets. And so you end up having to have all these curtains. But, you know know which sometimes okay like west palm beach is like then they have uh they just have curtains they go so does the stand up live which is great and they have ways that they think they know that and so they can make it feel very good and small or if they get a you know bill burrs running an hour and wants to go

at a comedy club they can do that And so that's a good idea. But like restaurants, I would think, we went to a breakfast place in Destin, and it was, I mean, I think it was four tables. So, I mean, there's 15 people in there, and then you just get that, and you got to wait for someone to be done. And it's like that's almost better. It makes more people want to go. And then you probably get your cooks and chefs or whatever get more time to like make the food better because they're like they're not they're not just but the whole thing is turnover

too you want to turn that you want to turn the tables over and when you have like less tables you're going to make less money because you can't turn them over as fast yeah but i don't think you have to spend as much money either. And so it's a balance of what's the perfect amount. There's probably a number that's like, we can get the most out of this number and be consistent every day to be packed, or we can go big and then we're packed on Sunday and the rest of the week we have, you walk in a restaurant and there's one person sitting in a table.

I think it's high pressure waiters. You go, are you done yet? Are you done yet? Yeah. yet yeah look wrap it up guys i'm giving like it'd be great if you gave them a light at the table oh yeah like comics get like a red light you guys got five minutes yeah finish it up because we will have to well you could do that 30 minutes you could be like everybody has 30 minutes to eat yeah we'll have your food to you and you have uh i'd be like or you could say once we get your food to you you have 30 minutes yeah and the clock starts and the clock starts and we will come take your food at

30 minutes that's enough time to eat you don't get leftovers you don't get no you can get it boxed but if you right that clock the second it runs out you just go i'm sorry and then people waiting would have a no exact time when the table right be ready. Right. 22 minutes left over there. Let's wait it out. Yeah. And that'd be a great place to go break up with somebody. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's like you eat and then it's like, look, I really think it's over.

Well, we're out of time. Oh, let's go. All right, I'll see you. Yeah. I'm going to start. We'll start that. Restaurant. No onion, no tomatoes.

A timed restaurant. A timed restaurant. No onions, no tomatoes. We'll be very friendly, but it's like everybody's trying to get in here. Let's not, this ain't a come spin all day kind of thing. You give them a light with like two minutes. No onions, no tomatoes. Yeah.

What was Michael Scott's? Every time I watch The Office, there's always some reference reminds me. He canceled the ad team that was making the commercial. And he's on the phone and Ryan's tryingyan's trying to explain him you're not in advertising he's like like i went open a restaurant because i don't know anything and michael said well i do know about a restaurant i have it and he what is it he calls it cereal shack is that it yeah it's mike cereal okay i'm pretty sure okay i think of you every time i see that episode and that show to bring it back to the theme of the podcast set in scranton pennsylvania

yeah there you go thank you thank you that was nice look at you and i just bring it back to the theme of the podcast set in Scranton, Pennsylvania. Yeah. There you go. Thank you. Thank you. Dude, that was nice. Look at you and I just getting it back on. It's too much.

Let him get it out. Wait, before this. Get it all out. This is your time. This is the only time I get a guest. Yeah. It's friendly.

That's friendly. Every guest we've had on here. Hostile? Is it? Nick, no, Mick. Mick is hostile. Nick had him in a headlight. So they called him Mick.

Everybody calls him Mick when they see Nick. But yeah, Nick comes out. Nick asked to not sit there. Where did he want to sit? Just not. On your lap. Just not. He said literally anywhere. Anywhere but here.

He goes, I'd rather, I'd even not do it. Oh my God. Yeah. Hostile. Yeah. just not he said literally anywhere anywhere but here he goes I'd rather I'd even not do it oh my god yeah hostile yeah Nick's a real diva till these cameras come on

no one sees that side of him yeah two US presidents were born in Pennsylvania yes two yep yeah

James Buchanan anybody want to guess the other one I don't care Joe Biden That's a great poll He saw my notes Aaron's having a great show

I'll say it He saw my notes He wouldn't have guessed it I knew that one too Is he from Scranton? Whoever has the best show A bat or something? A what?

A bat or something from the bookshelf? Yeah. Not a book? Yeah, one of the books. You don't get the bat. That's Sonny. That's Sonny Gray giving us bats, which I think he's here, downstairs. I think so.

Sonny! Yeah. Crayola Factory can be found in Easton, Pennsylvania. Yes! Crayola. People don't get Easton, Pennsylvania Yes Crayola People don't get excited about crayons as much as they used to Y'all did Y'all made some like Really lifelong things

Crayola is unbelievable Crayola, Heinz, Hershey's I mean some pretty stable Is the Lego factory in Pennsylvania? I don't know Let's look it up I mean that's like pretty wild to be like, this state has just got some monsters.

I mean, those three things could pay for everything in the state. So why don't they? Chocolate and crayons. That's what we like to do. Three main factories in Denmark. Actually, not in America. Oh. Yeah.

Mexico. Yeah. That was... Y'all lost. Y'all let that one go. Because it would have fit in there. Because your town's built on nothing. Oh, man.

Buildings are falling left and left. Left and left. I can't. God. But we still got Crayola, right? Three billion crayons produced each year. Yes. Nine million a day.

And what are some new colors? Enough to wrap around the earth six times. Wow. The round earth. The round earth, right? The circle. Not the flat earth. No, that means once and back.

Oh. Like it goes to the end, it touches the wall, then another one goes and runs. It goes all the way back. Go ahead. Let's get to some new colors. Hold on. I don't think we should talk about Crayola a little bit

because they're coming up with new colors. When we were growing up, it was just like blue, red, green, but now there's like fuchsia and go ahead, Aaron. I remember razzmatazz. That's a color? That's a pinkish red after this ad. Yeah, all right. It doesn't matter. Don ad. Yeah, all right. Oh, geez. Just, yeah, it doesn't matter.

Don't. Oh, my gosh. What? It's like you look stuff up, and it just doesn't make sense. What are you talking about? This is a great list, but then all these ads, these ads, they wait until you're actually using the site, and then they just pounce on it.

And your answer's not even on there. Yeah, well, something happened here. There's got to be an easier way. Here's the list. Okay, we got Razzmatazz. That's the pinkest red. Outer Space. What is that?

It's like a dark gray. Dark gray, wow. It's like the color of outer space. Jazzberry Jam. A lot of fun stuff. You skipped Periwinkle. Yeah, I feel like we've all heard of Periwinkle. I've never heard of Periwinkle.

You've never heard of Periwinkle Blue? No. Yeah, I have, but I don't talk about it that much. Yeah. It doesn't hit normal conversation i can't believe that you skipped periwinkle and thought whatever obviously uh obviously periwinkle that wouldn't even be on the list it shouldn't be on the list fuzzy wuzzy jasperi jasperi jam unmellow yellow frozen yogurts yeah i mean these don't even feel like royal colors. Yeah, blue-tiful. Isn't that great?

Yeah. That's great. Neon carrot. That's just a bad name. That's like someone's kid. Like the guy, Mr. Crayola's son was like, well, I'd like to name one. And they go, well, yeah, we'll let you do it. He goes, neon carrot.

And everybody else that works there is like, oh, God. And then he's like, my boy came up with a color. You're like, can you pick it out? I think so. Neon carrot. I think I would come up with fern. Yeah. Yeah.

Fern. Manatee would be mine. Wow. These look like wing options. Piggy pink, atomic tangerine, wisteria. Yeah. Oh, These look like wing options. Piggy Pink, Atomic Tangerine, Mysteria. Yeah. Oh, jeez. Ringing Rocks.

You guys familiar with this, Mike? Ringing Rocks? Beer? Ah, no. Our intern Cole found this one. It's a place, I guess a park you go to with a hammer and you hit some of the rocks and it makes a ringing sound. And scientists still aren't sure

what caused this to happen. But it makes it like a chime sound. Well, maybe... How long has it been there? Probably for thousands of years. Yeah, so maybe it's time to figure it out. It's...

Hitting a rock with a hammer. Where is it? It's in Pennsylvania. That's all I know. Like, it's so crazy to think, like, scientists, like, you listen to them for everything, and then you go, what about those rocks? Why do they ring?

He goes, that's a tough one. You're like, and you are going to solve cancer? And you don't know the rocks? Why they're ringing? Maybe two different guys. Well, send a group over there. That seems like a geology. I'm sure they have have some theories i don't know what they are yeah but send like a good smart group and be like can y'all go do this just take a weekend and just please figure it out because it we

it looks ridiculous i have a rock joke from my gsi 2020 class at penn state who was here what did the um igneous rock say to the metamorphic rock what don't take me for granted who said that was in your rock class gsi 2020 rocks for jocks rocks for jocks. Rocks for jocks. Is the class called that? Yep. Rocks for jocks? Rocks for jocks. Is that like the joke? Or that was their actual name?

No, that's the joke name of the class. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That we would have fun with it. Yeah, yeah, that's what I mean. But I don't know how smart Penn State is. So I thought maybe y'all, that's how y'all. Yeah. I thought that's how dumb athletes are that they had to name it that.

Rocks for jocks. So they go, they're not getting it that rocks for jobs so they go they're not getting it what was it called it was like called something GSI 2020 yeah so everybody's like well I ain't taking that

and they go dude this is like you learn about dumb rocks oh we're gonna solve the ringing rock thing no no I mean not even close

do these rocks when you hit them is it different ringtones I think so yeah did they update them? Do they update their rock park? Maybe they all ring.

It's just old people who are going to it. I don't know. Yeah. Only young people can hear it? Yeah. All right. Want to move it along? Yeah, move it along.

I can't watch Aaron try to figure this out. The bottleneck, we can get into it if you want, but the bottleneck in this process is not my ability to Google. It is, though. But you should go to my YouTube that doesn't have ads. I'm on your YouTube. You're not. You're on internet YouTube.

So you would go to... What? You're on Google YouTube. What's this called? Nicest guy in comedy loses it on his stuff? You're on internet. You're on

the search. You search in the thing. I just want to hear him hit these rocks. Alright. There you go. It's cool. It's way more underwhelming than I thought it would be. It's definitely cool, but it's definitely like,

I guess we were in the area and we went and did it. I don't think you... You know why they haven't looked into it that much. It'd be really bad if you went there and you forgot your hammer. Yeah. It's like, ah, I got to punch a rock now? You go, you're just walking around and you're like, hey, are you almost done with that hammer? Do you mind if I just do it a little bit he goes well you can hear when i do

it he goes i know but i want to it's different it's different i just left the house i don't think i need a hammer wonder they have hammers just laying around this guy's having a great time yeah yeah he's alone there's one guy he changed clothes, and they're trying to be like, everybody's coming here. And you're like, that's the same guy. Yeah, he's always by himself. Yeah. How many times did he do it for you? All right, I get it.

What if the solution, they come and they go, you know what it is, guys? It's the hammer. That's what's making this noise. God, how stupid were we? It's the hammer. Because I did it on my table at home, same noise. It's the hammer. All right.

Getting some sports. Steelers won six Super Bowls, four in the 70s, two in the aughts. Four in the 70s. Just a fun fact. 70s Super Southern. I'm from Youngstown, Ohio, which is halfway between Cleveland and Pittsburgh. So half the people are Cleveland Browns fans and half are Pittsburgh Steelers fans. And back when I was growing up, the Browns were always struggling and the Steelers were great. So they would always be like four Superbowls.

Anytime you'd argue with them because they'd go four Superbowls, what's up? I think you can look at a person's personality by who they would always be like four Super Bowls. Anytime you'd argue with them because they'd go four Super Bowls, what's up? I think you can look at a person's personality by who they would pick. I think I'm someone that would pick the Browns. I think we all – we're Vandy fans. So we would pick the Browns. And then someone that goes, well, I'm doing Steelers. And you would be like, well, they – Ron Lone.

Yeah, Ron Lone. But he was a Steelers fan because as a kid, they were co-hosts of Vanderbilt. So he didn't live there. But I'm saying if you go to Youngstown and you could see the people, who would you want to be around? Someone that picks the Steelers in Youngstown or someone that picks the Browns?

You always go to the underdog. I always go underdog. Then you go Browns. I was an Alabama fan in Alabama. Well, you were in Alabama. I know, but it's like it split Auburn and Alabama. Yeah. It's kind of the same.

Yeah, both are pretty good, though. The Browns are, it's rough Auburn and Alabama. Yeah. It's kind of the same. Yeah, both are pretty good though. The Browns are, it's rough. Neither of them were that good back in the day. But like one was historically much better than the other. Yeah.

Yeah. So it's the same thing. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I think you're the least liked on the podcast. I don't know if you've seen

that poll. It's when I started. And I did it. It's only got one vote. It's me. It's me and Brian. It's got two votes. Two votes for, yes. These are daggers. I did it. It's only got one vote. It's me. It's me and Brian. It's got two votes. Two votes for yes.

These are daggers. I'm going to have to take up for it. No, I actually voted against myself. Yeah. And self-deprecating. You just made a withdrawal. You made it. Oh, but it was sad.

A sad withdrawal. But it felt sad. Yeah. So that's why it's a withdrawal, right? Yeah. Yeah. It was a good joke. Yeah, but you do two withdrawals.

You draw from yourself, and then the crowd feels bad for you. You draw from there. So no one's winning. It's a double negative. It's a double negative. You're like, God, that just sucks the energy out. Hi, everybody. Sorry to be here.

It's sorry to be here. Yeah. That's how you start the show. Hello, folks. I know you can you start the show. Hello, folks. I know you can't wait till I say goodbye, folks. Sorry to be here. Sorry to be here. That's a good way to start a show, though.

Sorry we have to do this, everybody. There you go. We're rooting for you, buddy. No, they get it. They're on board with it. Eagles won Super Bowl in 2017 yes i uh i was the comedy teller for that one and some of the boston guys were sitting in the corner watching the game and we had a whole table of philly guy we separated yeah and we watched the game and exciting huge win and afterwards we did a mini riot where we flipped over cars.

Yeah. And it was going to happen either way. Smaller cars. Win or lose. Yeah. Because we're not that strong. I think you're weak. Oh, I think you're talking about the comedians or the town?

I was talking about the town. I think you mean the comedians. Yes, I think that's. Philly comedians are weak? I think you're all weak. Wow. You, Jay. Well.

Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart. Great shape. Yeah. Yeah, maybe you Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart. Great shape. Yeah. Yeah, maybe you are stronger than I think. But you have Nick. We have Nick with Kurt Metzger, who's South Jersey.

He's got just like maniac strength. He's got maniac strength. Yeah. And who else do we have from Philly? All right. Let's keep. Yeah. And who else do we have from Philly? All right. Let's keep it moving. I watched this game at the Super Bowl at Nate's house. Joe DeRosa.

Joe DeRosa. King of Prussia's own. Yeah. Later that evening, sorry to interrupt, told my future wife I loved her for the first time. Oh, really? Really. After the Eagles Super Bowl?

Was it because they won? No, it was because I took her to Nate's house, kind of the first gathering. His entire family was there. And I was like, if she can – she had a good time, put up with this family. She can put up with this family. She's the one. Yeah.

Told her later that night. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Oh, wow. Look at that. That's the test. Just bring – if you want to see if you should be married,

come over to the Bargatze's. And if she can handle that yeah that's a woman right there that's so great i wasn't worried about my family i was worried about nate's family that's so great it'd be great if you got the traditions wrong like you got down on a knee to say it traditions traditions what'd you say traditions no i said traditions i think okay i'll rewind that uh what oh have you got it wrong and And then said it on the Well, if you I get on a knee and say I love you You get down on one knee

And say I love you Yeah You mix up the He practiced it on me first He goes Nate, I love you And I go Oh, dude

Quit being weird And then he Got in the car and told Ruth And she said the same thing She goes All right, bro Don't weird me out like that You know

She was weirded out more than Nate was Yeah For one season In 1943 The Philadelphia Eagles And Pittsburgh Steelers Don't weird me out like that. She was weirded out more than Nate was. For one season in 1943, the Philadelphia Eagles and Pittsburgh Steelers merged to form the Steagals due to the loss of many players during World War II. Oh, my God. That's cool. They should do that again. The Steagals?

The World War? No, yeah. World War, yeah. We should do another World War. I think we're about due for a Civil War, to be honest, when you think about it. The timing feels right. The Bengals and the Browns, they could have merged there for a while.

Yeah, you should have like every – they should have like a fun all-star. Football is just so hard to do extra stuff. They should go like, all right, it's like an all-star game man that's i mean that's unreal dude like that's just an overlooked thing when these guys had to go to war it was unreal it's unreal it was a fault it was like majorly overlooked it didn't matter who you were like if you were the heavyweight championship in the world like we just got drafted it's like there's no excuses everybody goes man and now there's excuses there none of them would have to go now now they would never let the like

like the elite or the famous now i think it should go about how many tiktok followers you have yeah that's how you get drafted you have a hundred thousand you don't go oh i think you do oh you send them yeah you only send them so we can so we can watch the news coverage why because it'll be a short war boom

it'll be a short war and we're gonna wear them down with them them having to try to make them all do this some little dance and it's like

they put their guns down to be like ready and then they go do that whatever they do and then you know Little League World Series has been held in Williamsport since 1946 yes I did know that and then they go do that whatever they do and then you know uh little league world series has

been held in williamsport since 1946 yes yeah i did know that yeah did you i knew it was in the back of my head it was right by periwinkle in my brain yeah you'd always go watch them alone no can we get that guy out of here because i goes, I have season tickets. I buy them every year. You know, there's a way to tell a joke without telling a joke. You just did it. You just pulled it off. Everybody got what you were saying.

Everybody got your accusations. Penn State won two national championships in football. Wow. Joe Paterno has the most wins. Oh, that's good. He's a good,

turned out to be a good guy. They gave him his wins back. They did? Yes. That most wins. Oh, that's good. He's a good guy. They gave him his wins back. They did? Yes. That's good. A palette court. What? A palette court.

I thought they appealed it. They took his wins. He appealed it. I thought you said pat-la-court. No. He died immediately. A palette court. Let me talk slower because you guys are from the South.

A palette court. That's what always crazed me with Cosby. What happened to Joe Paterno, he died immediately. Like, it just, when you're that old, it's like, it was just, it crushed him, and then it was, and he died. And Cosby is talking about going back out on tour. He's doing better than ever. Yeah, I mean, like, I thought, you thought for sure, like, all right,

well, like, this Cosby stuff's so heavy. Yeah. And he's getting crushed. They're like, like, this Cosby stuff's so heavy. Yeah. And he's getting crushed. They're like, it's going to just kill an old man. Yeah. And then Cosby, I mean, he's 80 or something. Yeah. He's in his 80s. And he's just, I mean, best shape of his life.

The Eagles old stadium, the vet had jail with four cells. Yeah. I was living there at that time. Yeah. Underneath the stadium. Yep. Yeah. The new Lincoln Financial Field had jail with four cells yeah i was living there at that time yeah underneath the stadium yep yeah the new lincoln financial field had jail with four cells but they closed it due to good behavior of the

fans yeah i thought they were just gonna go community service yeah i feel like now they go we closed it but they we still have the keys yeah so don't don't get crazy in their defense the behavior uh it was so bad like i don't i don't personally like that i'm also rooting for your team and everything but like when it becomes a thing where it's it's not even about the sport anymore it's you just looking to get your anger out on somebody else and you're extrapolating it out through this sporting i don't like any of that and then there was a lot of that in philly at that like at that time years ago yeah but uh well i think this is right after rocky lost yeah but there's no snowballs at santa claus they with batteries in them i think oh at that time, years ago. I think this is right after Rocky lost.

There's snowballs at Santa Claus. With batteries in them, I think. Oh, really? They threw batteries at somebody. No, that's Cleveland. That's Tim Couch. No. Yeah, they threw car batteries at Tim Couch. Oh, they threw cars.

They threw cars, yeah. Yeah, the fans. Oh, the fans of Cleveland? Yes. Really? They threw car batteries at Tim Couch. Tim Couch is like a number one pick. No, no, no no that's bottle gate

the beer bottle game through beer bottles at tim couch and then in cleveland batteries where was the car no that was in uh philadelphia they thought that they threw batteries at uh john elway yeah cleveland cleveland so you're saying they put batteries in snowballs. I thought they put batteries in snowballs. I thought they had to just do batteries in Philadelphia. Oh, yeah. And see, I'm sure they did it. If they did it, then it's coming. You just gave them the idea.

They get Eagles are throwing batteries. Yeah. Oh, when they win. It's regular batteries. Oh, when they win. That's regular batteries. That's when they win. They're batteries when they win. They won the Super Bowl, and the fans are very excited, and walk around with a bag.

I imagine the article says, walks around with a bag of batteries. And that means if you get hit in the eye with a double A, it was a good day. Yeah, he was hoping it's not a D. Yeah, all right. Mischief Night, do you know this? Yeah. Actually, I do.

Do you? I was hoping you weren't going to put it in there. It's the night before Halloween. Yep. Thank you, Nate. Oh, I do. Do you? I was hoping you weren't going to put it in. It's the night before Halloween. Yep. Thank you, Nate. Oh, well. You really were going to call me on the carpet about that, so now take your loss.

Call you on the carpet. I think you're making a lot of sayings up in here. Shop talk, that was Aaron. Y'all do some shop talk? Well, I'm not going to call you on the carpet. Did you like that? Some great phrases. Yeah. Basically, it's the night before Halloween where. Did you like that? Some great phrases. Yeah.

Basically, it's the night before Halloween where kids can just do vandal stuff, right? Yeah. Toiletpaper. They allow it? I think it's just a tradition in the Philadelphia kind of northeast region. Oh, that's cool. What's next, that purge? God.

And they're one step away from it. Like, Philadelphia's going to just start allowing that. In 1991, it got out of hand in Camden, I guess Camden, New Jersey, which went across the river. Yeah.

And 133 fire calls. Yeah. The busiest day in their history. Yeah. All right. I delivered FedEx in Camden.

Camden's rough. Yeah. Like, maybe not Camden, maybe it was right at that Philadelphia. Yeah. Because I actually

went to Laugh House. I was, when I delivered FedEx and they had me come down to New jersey right next to philadelphia like i took a cab over there yeah uh so whatever town was over there and so then when i was delivering fedex i was like i was always a good fedex driver and they so i would do it in new york and then that town needed help so they brought us down there to go deliver. And I delivered.

When I got done, they go, that's the quickest we've ever seen it done. Because I was at home. I was like, this was back to regular home. So I'm just driving to houses. Yeah. And then I came back in and they were like, I mean, you're the best we've ever seen. Wow. And I was like, man.

At any point were you like, i just just quit this comedy thing and i think it helped me go for comedy because i knew i could always go back i mean i would talk to those guys in new york they buy their trucks and it would be you pay you pay for a route so like the best routes i think were like manhattan even though it's manhattan but it's a grid it's just i mean i did I did Manhattan you're just going back and forth you just kind of double hark and just run up there and like ring the thing and set the thing there uh and then but they would buy it might be 100 grand to buy if someone's going to retire the guy then goes all right I'm going to sell my route and then everybody has a bidding for his route and so then they they pay him because he paid too or something like that. And they, you know, be like, all right, it's $100,000.

You invest, but you get this route. And then that's your route. And then you can – you're almost a contractor. And so you could even eventually just, like, not have to drive the truck. You pay someone to drive the truck and then something like that in New York. But I did – I think it helped me because I was like, they used to call me every holiday and was like, hey, we come back. And it was like, I'm just not doing it right now.

You know, I mean, I would have to tell them no. Like they wanted me just to come back for the holidays. Well, they needed help. And they knew I knew what to do. Yeah. What if they called you this year? If I could have the time off, I'll be honest with you. I don't think i would mind it

yeah i don't know if i would want to go back to new york to do it but like if if nashville fedex needed help or a delivery company in nashville needed help and i had and i have the time yeah and i only had to do it like a week but here's a twist i would go do it you don't bring the package you bring your own merch. Ooh. New fans. I leave them their package and a t-shirt. Ice coffee with cream shirt. Yeah. Yeah.

I do always the size medium. And they go, well, I give them the size. I look at their house and I give the size what I think. What kind of monster is about to walk out of that house? You go, ooh, this is going to be a big one. Triple XL. That actually reminds me of a i think because people kids in school they don't know what they want to do and you know how do you know what you want to

do for a living and when you're in high school you don't know the options what so my thing was just go to a house that you like knock on the door and the person comes the door be like do you own the home they go yes you're like what do you do for a living? They tell you and you just do that. Yeah. That's a good idea. It's perfect. That's perfect. Isn't that like the guidance counselor who says,

if you had a million dollars, what would you do? And then that's what you should pursue? No, but that's if you have a million dollars. He's saying, here's how you go get a million dollars. Go to a million dollar neighborhood, knock on all the doors and say, and just go, probably knock on a few doors and go what

do you do i think they would like it i think the person answering would like that uh initiative right and then they and everybody likes talking about their success so at a random day they get to go i gotta talk about someone's success or make it more confrontational knock on the door ask them what they do and they're glad to tell you in a kind of a mentorship type of way and at the end of it go in five years i'll own your house yeah pack up start packing right now i'm not saying pack everything i'd go ahead and work on the cups back at the glasses yeah there's a guy on tiktok does that he goes around the beverly hills and knocks on and just goes what do you And most, a lot of people are, they'll talk about it.

Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. Actor, actor, director, actor, director,

producer, FedEx driver. Oh, uh, and then I'll end with a lobster boy. Yes. You know him? Yes.

Oh, you're, you're cool over there. Yeah. Oh yeah. That's right. Oh yeah. Yeah.

Oh yeah. We got Cole. I didn't, I said we were That's right. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We got Cole. I didn't even, I said we were going to do this. I forgot about it. That's your internship here. Yeah. Cole, next to your neighbor's kid. He's going to college.

Very smart. He's a high school senior now? Yeah. Yeah. He's super, super smart. And so, like, I was talking to his dad, Dwayne, and he was just trying to find an internship, like something for his – if you ever need help because they need the internships. And I was like, you know what?

It would be great because he can help Brian with the research because Brian has to look all this stuff up. And so, yeah, he's crushed it. He's crushed it. So he's in – yeah. We got our first intern that's so great yeah we're doing really good we he has to pay us i make his dad pay us and so it's the opposite of what it should be but he complained but i was like look i pay to be on here too buddy

so we all do it uh do you know lobster boy like who that is yeah because i used to read the weekly world news when it was in yeah when it was being published yeah great paper well that's because they didn't have tv they had um they had lobster boy and they did a lot about bat boy oh yeah i don't know that boy found was it hard to read uh with a fire light like would you do a lantern and would ever catch on fire village a lantern oh he's so good at it uh lobster boy his name was grady styles he was a freak show performer he had a genetic condition which his fingers and toes were fused together to form claw-like extremities because i thought you said refuse his fingers and toes refused to ever get together. And every time he goes

to tie his shoes, he would be like, no, no, no, no, no. And he was like, guys, we have to work together. And they go, no,

I don't want anything to do with him. He goes, he slept with my wife. So because he had lobster claws, he was called Lobster Boy. But he was also an alcoholic and abusive to his family. Yeah.

He was unable to walk, so he would either use a wheelchair but usually crawl on his hands and arms, which gave him superior upper body strength that, along with his bad temper and alcoholism, led to problems. He shot and killed his daughter's fiancée on the eve of their wedding. What? He was a jerk. He was not.

And that's more than a jerk. How do you pull the trigger with a claw? Yeah. You know? Especially form out a gun. That's what should have been his argument. And alcoholism, too. It's like you got to get somebody to get you a beer every time

and hold it for you. Yeah. He was not sent to prison or a state institution because they weren't equipped to care for an inmate with his condition. So he was sentenced to house arrest and 15 years probation. He soon became drinking again, and he became more abusive. So his wife hired someone to kill him,

another sideshow performer, for $300. Someone remarried him? So he goes, oh, what happened to your last wife? Oh, that's a doozy of a story. I shot and killed her and our daughter. Oh, that's cool. So you want to go out and grab a drink? Yeah, I'd love to hear more about it, if you don't mind.

Actually, I can't leave the house for a while. I'm here. Do you mind living here? He was hated so much that at his funeral only 10 people came and no one would volunteer to be a pallbearer to carry the coffin for a lobster boy seems like a little bit of a crab yeah boom you know it's like such a sad thing because you're like i've yes it's awful that you have to live like that. And then, but you think, you would think like you get married and you'd be like, well, I'm lucky.

Things are looking up. Yeah. Like I'm lucky that someone looks past all this and is, you know, he's not a terrible looking guy. Like he's a normal, besides the hands. The feet. Yeah. The hands and the feet are tough, but overall the whole thing is like not bad and then would you

rather be him or green man i don't know that's i don't know that's not a fun i always think that's i don't want to have that conversation i think it's amazing that in 19 so he was hired 1992 his wife hired somebody to kill him for 300 bucks oh that, that's a good deal. But he was a circus. I feel like that's so cheap. Well, someone that was hated that much, that's probably like, I mean, the guy, he just took whatever number she said. Yeah, he would have done it for free. If she would have been, yeah, if he goes, free.

He goes, yeah, I'll do whatever. That'd be great, the plot to kill him. It's like, we're going to lure him into a lobster trap. Yeah. And we're going to pull him up and we'll get him. We'll put him in a lobster trap yeah and yeah and we're gonna pull him up and then we'll get him we'll put him in a boiling pot yeah it's a natural conclusion all right it's a lobster boy rubber bands on yeah rubber bands butter keep giving him butter he's gonna be delicious uh yeah that's

I mean how do you get it's funny it's like people can be jerks like you would think I mean look you gotta realize he probably

grew up crazy back then dude I mean he probably got beaten by like people were not like

it was not a cool thing and it just translated into his regular life but I mean he's pretty active for not being I mean

he lived a full life yeah being able to, I mean. He lived a full life. Yeah. For him to kill you, you got to really walk into that. Like you're, you know. Honey, can you come help me? Yeah. This guy seems a good guy.

Turn the corner. He said there's a picture of him with the bearded lady. Was it her? I don't know. That's who he's married to? It's an interesting thing. When you die, you're so hated that nobody wants to with a bearded lady. Was it her? I don't know. That's who he's married to? It's an interesting thing. When you die, you're so hated that nobody wants to be a pallbearer. Yeah. Meanwhile, it's just a functional thing to move the body.

Yeah. It's like, we'll just leave him here. That's probably going to be more of a distraction. Yeah. Leaving the body in the middle of civilization. They kicked it. They just kept kicking it down a little bit. You don't pick something up, you're just going to kick it forward.

Scrape it. Yeah. Is that it? I think so. All right. I think that's it. It's a fun one. Welcome, Mike.

Well, thank you for having me. We'll be doing another one. I will be, this week, San Diego, October 20th and 22nd. Two shows on the 22nd. I'm doing three shows in San Diego, October 20th and 22nd. Two shows on the 22nd. I'm doing three shows in San Diego. Bakersfield on the 21st. Anaheim on the 23rd. Two shows.

And then the next week, a big week, which I'll probably remind you, I'll be at the Grand Ole Opry and the Ryman, October 27th, 28th. And Columbus, Ohio, October 29th. Two shows in Columbus. So I hope you can make some of those. It's been amazing. The crowds have been, you've seen, they're unbelievable. It's been so great.

Yes, they are unbelievable, dude. They're just so nice. And you guys, none of that, as always, as I always say, none of it's lost on me. I appreciate it. I will continue to always have the gratitude uh to you guys uh you're the only reason we have a career so uh and then you have stuff if you listen to this the day comes out tonight i'll be at zany's for a fundraiser uh our good friend bone hamptons yeah going through some medical issues and there's a fundraiser show tonight at zany's okay for him

so please come out if you're listening to this day of. Right, right. Which people do, by the way. And then this weekend I'll be in Phoenix, Stand Up Live with Dusty Slay. And then I'm headlining Gutties in Greenwood, Indiana, which Brian did last month. I'm doing that first weekend of November. So come out and see that.

That'd be cool. Ooh, yeah, yeah. Stand Up Live's a great club. Yeah, that's what I've heard. October, yeah, yeah. Stand Alive's a great club, man. Yeah, that's what I've heard. October 23rd, I'll be at Governor's in Long Island. October 23rd. So if you're in the New York area, please come out to that.

Two shows, 7 and 9.30. Do we do social media? Yeah, yeah, yeah. At ComicMikeV on all social media platforms. ComicMikeV.comcom if you have if you have facebook but you don't have instagram it's a it's a link tree to all of my social media sites so comic mike v.com at comic mike v on instagram and twitter which i'm mostly at and also i have two podcasts one mike vecchione investigates it's my own podcast um you can get

it anywhere you get podcasts for free. And the other one is called Macaroni Rascals, and it's a Patreon, but we do release the episodes. So Macaroni Rascals, look out for that. That's me and Greg Stone talking everything macaroni related. Yeah, that's good. A lot of people probably want to hear that. And I love macaroni.

Yeah. You ever really talk about everything macaroni? That's our catchphrase. Yeah. The macaroni's ready. Yeah. That's our let's go, folks. You don't talk about macaroni. You talk about Italian stuff.

Yeah, Italian stuff. You know, how much we love our mothers. Yeah. How much gel we put on our hair. Stuff like that. Riveting, cutting edge. Yeah, yeah. And then you say say how's the macaroni which is great now it's very funny i would now i'm going to watch it yeah uh yeah mike's very very funny everybody uh he's got a lot of tonight show clips yes uh he's he's got uh you're to be recording stuff hopefully soon. And then Epix, you're on that.

You were, I mean, just your suit. You're an unbelievable comedian, Mike. Thank you. We were together at the beginning at Boston Comedy Club. And I'm glad you've come out with me some now. And because people are getting to, you know, people see it. And you're, as all of us as comedians, you're everybody's favorite. Thank you.

And you're a real, a lot of jokes. And that's what, you're everybody's favorite. Thank you. And you're a real lot of jokes. And it's very fun. You and David Tell, I would say two guys that I would pay to go watch. Because I know it's just going to be jokes, and it's going to be funny, and I could watch you multiple shows. Because I like hearing people laugh to those. Because it can be very silly, which is great. multiple shows because it's like i like hearing people laugh to those right because it's very it can be very silly which is great it's not you know it's not you're not heavy it's just jokes

right it's all jokes and that's uh you know much needed now and so uh go check uh mike vecchione out everybody all right well thank you and thank you for bringing me on the podcast and bringing me on tour i appreciate it uh well i love having you out So, all right. We will see you next week, everybody. Thanks. Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land Podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or a comment. the Nate Land podcast, be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen

to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or a comment. Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetti, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network.

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