The Nateland Podcast - #76 The Universe ft. Nic Novicki

Episode Date: December 8, 2021

On this week's episode, Nic Novicki returns to share some legendary stories of driving, cooking, and an awkward first date. Plus, we discuss parallel universes, glitches in the matrix, and time travel as we take a look at the universe.   Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail] #nateland #natebargatze   TalkSpace - TalkSpace.com   Join Talkspace today and start moving forward with a single message. Just visit TalkSpace.Com and get $100 off your first month when you use promo code NATE at sign-up. That’s $100 off at TalkSpace.Com, promo code NATE.   Hello Fresh - HelloFresh.com/14nate   Go to HelloFresh.com/14nate and use code 14nate for up to 14 free meals AND 3 free gifts! That’s HelloFresh.com/14nate and use code 14nate for up to 14 free meals AND 3 free gifts! Hello Fresh: America’s #1 Meal Kit     Paint Your Life - PaintYourLife.com   ·       At Paint Your Life.com there is no risk.  ·       If you don’t love the final painting, your money is refunded. Guaranteed.  ·       And right now as a limited time offer, get twenty percent off your painting.  ·       That is right. Twenty percent off. And FREE shipping.  ·       To get this special offer, text the word NATE to 64-000  ·       Paint Your Life: Celebrate the moments that matter most.    Scribd - Try.Scribd.com/Nate   Right now, Scribd is offering our listeners a FREE 60-day trial.  Go to try.scribd.com/NATE for your free trial.  That’s try.SCRIBD.com/NATE to get 60 days of Scribd for free.

If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel, your tread's worn down or you need a new wheel, wherever you go, you can get a pro at Tread Experts. Until December 8th, get $70 on a Bridgestone prepaid MasterCard when you buy four eligible Bridgestone tires, or up to $120 with Blizzac or Weatherpeak tires. Find a Bridgestone Tread Experts dealer near you at treadexperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there, treadexperts.ca. Hello, folks. Welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I'm here with Aaron Weber, Brian Bates. Welcome, everybody. Welcome. We're also sitting here with a special guest, as always.

I know you just made like a smile. I think people know just from that laugh, they know who he is. Nicholas Novicki. Nick Novicki, everybody. Mick. Hello, folks. There you go. You almost forgot, didn't you? Hello, guys.

Thanks to you, Paisley. We just got back off the road. Me, Nick, Dustin, and Aaron. Bates already was booked. He's big time you were Leanne, right? Friday night, Saturday night I had my own show oh, wow

his own stuff I got my own money now, Papa I don't need your money I don't know if that makes sense because you tell your dad when you were running away well, I got my own money now just Aaron and I in the back of the bus. Nate, we're hungry.

Feed us. Pretty much. Get back. Get back. No, Aaron, you were all over the place. What do you mean? You have a bunch of gigs. You have a gig tonight.

You have a gig the night before us. Nick's barely working. We both got a gig tonight Oh yeah Oh yeah Same thing? No Oh

Wow Everybody's working A lot of gigs Look at this A lot of gigs We had a blast We were in Cleveland Well Pittsburgh and Cleveland

And it was super Super fun You know This is the last bus trip Until January Until the first week Or whenever It was super, super fun. You know, this is the last bus trip until January, until the first week or whenever the tour starts in January. You miss the bus, you know? The bus is a fun time.

We have a good time on it. Yeah, it was a lot of fun. Any poker play this weekend? Yeah. Yeah, we got some poker. It was also fun to play with people that had no idea how to play poker. They're like, oh, what should I do? Should I go all in?

And we were like, yeah. Better than me. And they won, though. Yeah, but they were like, we're going all in. Travis, who's like a professional poker player, you could just see his anger. He was like, ugh. He gets so mad. Yeah, we went down there.

We played, and playing cards is fun. It's something to do. So we had a blast, and it was fun. And, yeah, all right. I don't have a lot. I think we're getting to it more. I don't know. I'm just trying to think.

Someone posted a Facebook poll, what guests would you like to see on Nate Land? And Nick is one of the top ones. Well, you know, I get Mick all the time when I'm on shows, you know, places. Also, I pronounce the name Nick bad. So I partially am the reason why the Mick legend kind of continues. But no, it's truly amazing. I mean, the fans of Nate Lamb podcasts are amazing.

Very nice. All right. Let's start with some comments for you guys. Nate Blair. That would be if I had Laura's maiden name. Yeah. I don't know if I should say that. I'm ruining Harper's life for the future.

Her security question. What's your mom's maiden name? I'm like, oh, gosh. Can we give her social security out? I've already did that. Yeah, you've done it all on here already. Is anyone else getting a real strong Todd Packer vibe

from John Reap? Love this episode. John was a great guest. We had a few people say that he sounded like David Koechner or Todd Packer from The Office. Yeah. Yeah. I get it. Some people said they were listening. They thought he's going to look just like Todd Packer. He looks a little bit like him, but if you close your eyes and listen to him,

he's got the same kind of inflections in his voice. Yeah, I could see it. John's just very funny. That's why David Koechner is very funny and John is very funny. They're just very funny people, and they're fun to watch. You go watch John live. It's just fun. It's great.

Jay Yebra. Is that right? Yeah. It's definitely fun. Yeah. It's great. Jay Yebra. Is that right? Yeah. It's definitely clear that nobody has watched Ted Lasso, or y'all would have known right away a soccer field is called a pitch. It's actually called a pitch because of cricket. We've all watched Ted Lasso. I haven't watched the new season.

I bet that's how you knew that, though, right? I think that is a big part of why I knew that. Yeah. I love it. Ted Lasso is unbelievable. So I know what a pitch is. I'm better than everybody at this table is what I'm trying to say. Aaron knew, but we didn't.

Yeah. I don't even know. Commentary is not about Ted Lasso. Yeah, Ted Lasso is great, dude. You knew what a soccer pitch is? That's what you say. Yeah. I know what a soccer pitch is, and I'm a big fan.

Jason Sudeikis. I love him. Yeah. Where's Sudeikis fans? He knows the star of the show. You really are a big fan. Sudeikis fans, too. Anna Brutbacher.

Brutbacher. Brutbacher. Brutbacher. Anna. Stoppage time is intentionally not posted in the stadium because they don't want the players to see it and stop playing full on until the final whistle and the game is actually over. They will announce it in the stadium,

and then we always open up a stopwatch phone app to keep track of how much time is left. That's a lot to do. They're demanding a lot of the fans. You got to bring a stopwatch. I mean, I guess your phone now, but imagine four phone. So you're like,

everybody's going to go with a stopwatch to the game. I know. Are you just watching it forever? I do like the stoppage time. I think it's kind of fun. You don't know how much, it's like there's a hesitation to it. I mean, not hesitation,

the opposite of hesitation. What is that? An urgency? An urgency. An urgency. I mean, not hesitation. The opposite of hesitation. What is that? An urgency? An urgency. I feel like, too, there was a soccer guy that would run around at a kid's soccer with that stopwatch, and now everybody has an iPhone. So you just know the time.

There's no need for that guy anymore. Nice commentating from the time. It's still hard to imagine, though, if... I mean, that was like... This is like ESPN, like the game is 50 to 0, and we're just like, yeah, and then you're just trying to chime in.

Matt Tanner. Nate is making no sense in his sports comments. First, he says the Cubs shouldn't complain because they never won before then. Going on to say Dan Levitard shouldn't complain because the Marlins have only been around around 20 years and already won twice. Basically, Nate is saying you can't complain that goes on to complain about how his team stinks. Come on, Nate. You guys haven't ever been good, so you shouldn't care. Good luck on the Grammy.

Thank you. Yeah. A couple people made that point. But, like, we've never won. So, like, it's the idea that, like, it's the greedy. Does that make sense? But aren't – I mean, are you saying we shouldn't even be upset about not winning? The Cub thing, I'm not saying they shouldn't complain.

I'm saying the Cubs, they think they're better than they are so they complain like they're this historic franchise and they're historic in the fact that they're a very famous franchise but it's not because of winning yeah uh and the marlins is like he was crying and they've won twice in 20 years like you want you want to go, what did you want? Five more times? Three? You want it to be three? Would you be happy if it was three? Am I not making sense there?

And in Vandy, I mean, we haven't done anything. I think our victory would feel the most rewarding. You're most excited about, like, almost tying Tennessee, you know, from, like, the 90s. Like, that's your big Vanderbilt. We lost 12-7 to Peyton Manning. Peyton Manning ran a dumb bootleg, naked bootleg. I think about it every day.

He just went out. No one grabbed him. He runs one-one every 10 years, and it works so good. I think he has a yearly clock. He had a yearly clock on his bootlegs, and he was like, it's about time. He's like 25, and he's like, I think this is about time. And he runs a yearly clock. He had a yearly clock on his bootlegs. And he was like, it's about time. He's like 25. And he's like, I think this is about time.

And he runs one at 25 and then at 32. And, I mean, no one sees him coming because you're like, oh, I forgot he did that. Yeah, I thought he could run. Yeah. I think that was his last game at Neyland Stadium. Oh, yeah. I saw him that night. Sorry, I saw him at a diner that night.

I can't remember the diner's name. Everybody in UT knows it. It's like a sandwich place. Gus's? Gus's. And so we're in there, and I'm just like with my buddies, and I'm just making fun of Peyton Manning. And I was like, he's the worst.

You know, whatever. We just lost. They're all laughing. And I was like, I don't even care. and then he walks in with one of his linemen and they're like well there he is just go do it and i was like well maybe i'll probably go up there in a second and then i mean i just didn't talk to him i mean he's he brings it well he brought a lineman if he was alone i would have went after him hard he walks around that lineman everywhere yeah you're like your center's everywhere man and then like travis with jay cutler how he can stand then he met him and

it was like keith hernandez and yeah and newman yeah yeah i love it jpsc the tar hills mascot is a ram because in the 20s a cheerleader suggested we should have an animal mascot like other teams so they decided on a ram because the fullback, Jack Merritt's nickname was the battering ram. Cheerleaders had a lot of say back in the 20s. I know. Isn't that crazy? Well, they were just getting started.

Yeah. You know what? I mean, can you imagine if they would let now, if like a cheerleader just walked over to Nick Saban and was like, hey, I talked to you for a second. I don't know if I'm buying this, you knowson tot like what does that mean you know we've got an elephant what is crimson tide the alabama buffaloes there you go we would like that alabama buffaloes that's at least what's a crimson I think the, is it the red clay down there on the Gulf? Oh, I thought it was just like a metaphorical, the crimson tide,

the wave is coming to get you. Like, watch out. The happy elephant. I don't think they thought about that much down there. I'm going to get made. My wife's in Alabama. My whole family, Lars, all Alabama. So, y'all win every time.

I mean. I don't know. They're going to win again this year, unfortunately. Yeah. Ryan Coleman. That is crazy, Alabama. So, y'all win every time. I mean. I know. They're going to win again this year. Unfortunately. Yeah. Ryan Coleman. That is crazy, though. Just to gloss over that cheerleader suggestion.

20. I like the 20s. Because people could just, you could walk up to the president. Free for all back then. You should do coins. Why don't you do like 50 cent quarter coins in the president? That's a good idea. I like that.

I think he listed the cheerleader's name. I took it out because it was kind of hard to pronounce, but I think it was a specific guy on the team, the cheerleading squad. Oh, a male cheerleader. I think it was, yeah. The most jacked guy on the field. He's just like, ah!

Ryan Coleman, a North Carolina episode with no mention of one of the greatest athletes who has ever walked the earth, who went to high school and college in the state. Unbelievable. That is very true. So the North, we just got to North Carolina stuff kind of late.

Yeah. And I think we're actually doing another North Carolina episode. We ended up being able to talk to, to reap so long about like comedy and all this stuff. So it was like at the end, we honestly should have just kept going about comedy and we got threw some north carolina so we'll probably do a whole this but i yes jordan is that who they were talking about yeah yeah uh oh boy uh acidu rivardo that's no i think you nailed it aciduadu Rivardo. I always say Asadu.

Asadu. Oh, come on. I'm just going off. In that nitpicky, I do the fact that it's A-C-I-D-E-A-U-X. Yeah. I always think of the Go Tigers when LSU writes it like that. Asadu Rivardo. Rivardo. Rivardo.

I like that name. In regard to the English colony that vanished, it makes sense when you realize North Carolina is second in hurricanes. Native Americans refused to live year-round on those barrier islands, which is why the English settled there. Most likely a massive storm destroyed their settlement, and the Croatoan tribe helped their survivors. There were legends of blue-eyed Indians

who they thought were descendants of the English settlers decades later. Sounds like it was written by someone that was being pretty favorable to the tribe. They go, no, no, no, it wasn't us. And you're like, all right, I don't know if I buy it. Are you blaming it on hurricanes you know we're gonna let her from a hurricane next week that's going come on i my my grandfather was a hurricane back then he would never do something like that uh i think we're solved it though that makes the most sense ever to me no i like that you

can just solve it that quick yeah you know the know? It's a hurricane. Some blue-eyed Indians. Yeah, that makes complete sense. Mm-hmm. Blue-eyed Indian. I mean, they could run the world. Sounds like a Nick comment. What does that mean? I don't know.

It just feels like when you've got those blue eyes and... And you're Indian? Yeah, yeah. Skin tone, I mean, just they would be... Nate is a big... Everybody would just stare at your eyes, and then you could just tell people what to do. I have blue eyes.

Frank Sinatra. Yeah, but you don't feel like more of a bull. I feel like you'd be like, don't let him in the store. Would they make you and your little standout son? Y'all go to like an antique shop and like get your boy, get the big one out. Chain him up outside. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You got to settle it when he's on the bus, you know. All right, wait a minute. Watch where he's walking, you know. He goes. He goes. That's you get it. You go, whoa, beep, beep. That's what Nick does.

Then he starts backing down. Aaron slimmed down a ton. I know, yeah. We slide right by each other. We did it last night or this morning. We were just like. It's unbelievable. Used to be always I'd open the bus when we parked.

You had to slide out. You had to slide and open out. Just so I could get through. I'd walk on the cul-de-sac and make an announcement. Aaron's coming out. Aaron. Aaron is coming out I mean I

I used to fear it every time I would open up the you know the cubby in the bunk I'd be like is Aaron gonna hit me and now

you know he can just dive anywhere now you're just being mean Nick I mean no one went with me there so it did feel mean we were all having fun

that's alright you took it to a real place it felt really mean Aaron's size is his fun. That's all right. You took it to a real place. It felt really mean. Aaron's size is his own problem. Thank you. So is mine. He's okay. All right.

William Roberts. I had Bell Palsy about eight months ago. Unfortunately, it hit me about 20 minutes into the first date I had been on in two years. Needless to say, I am still a single dad. Man. That's tough because you just get there and you're like just like you need any baggage yeah there's something and then your face just and you're like

you know you just sit across the table from each other yeah he just goes you just feel it coming on oh god you might as well set your pill case with the days on them just right out. By the way, I think I'm going to get one of those. You got to do it, man. You got to do it. I've been holding off, and I asked Laura quietly, privately. I said, I think I need one of those.

It's tough to keep track, man. Do you do it? No, but I understand the benefit of it. What pills do you have to take? So many that you have to keep up with. Just vitamins. Your vitamins and stuff? Yeah, everything. But you just end up, can't, you can't even see a tree.

Do you do that? I don't even know what we're talking about. You know those pills with the days on it, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday? Pill dividers, yeah. No. You don't do that? No. Emergency, that's it.

You just take emergency every day? Yeah. And cortisone. Cortisone. Yeah. I need it. What do we have? What do we want to ask about your glasses because tell them so nick has the worst eyesight so have i shown uh yeah i'm on phone

so here's nick if you will if you ever see nick on the road and nick's looking at his phone i promise you this is how nick looks at the phone he does this and i'll be like he's like uh and then you could come up he's like oh that's how much he looks yeah uh so his eyesight is horrible my eyesight is really bad he went to a doctor he's eye doctor he goes one eye doctor what did he tell you he tells me that i have a eye disease keratosis i think i'm pronouncing it wrong possibly uh but basically my cornea i'm like looking through the cornea so i need like a cornea transplant or hard contact lenses he's like get him if you if it's gonna if your life is like you can't take it anymore so for me i squ I squint. I do look a little close.

But, you know, Nate loves it. He told you you can't have glasses. Yeah. I probably shouldn't see another eye doctor. That's the thing that seems crazy. Look, maybe it's true. I'm not saying it's not. But that's what seems crazy to me.

He says you're like, why can't you have glasses? Yeah. Like if you can have hard contacts, maybe it needs to be surrounded your whole eye or something. Yeah. I would think you could have glasses? Yeah. Like, I don't, like, if you can have hard contacts, maybe it needs to be surrounded your whole eye or something. Yeah. I would think you could have glasses. Give it a shot, at least. I know.

Yeah. I mean, I may just start wearing glasses just for, you know, for you guys. And then I'm like, they don't even work. I just have them on. Once you get hit by a bus, dude, like, you don't, you, I mean, you, I'll watch, we were, when We went to a buffet this weekend, and I like watch you how close. You won't notice us until pretty close. You get, you know, and we play NBA 2K.

You can't see the screen. You can't. Yeah. And it's a big TV, and you're three feet from it. Do you wear soft contact lids? I don't wear anything. No. I'm keeping it natural they've

told me they're driving around he's driving around lasik is that option no no it's the cornea yeah but yeah it's funny nate loves it he loves to you know in in the buffet in fairness it's not like this is a big buffet all right i i'm a big chinese food fan so the asia corner was like the far corner yeah so i had to walk all the way there were you ryan steakhouse uh no no this is a buffet and buffet like in cleveland casino they have a casino buffet at the attached to the hotel shout out to that casino that was fun we were there pretty late actually this morning yeah so yeah it's fun it was a good time yeah Yeah. Like, warm. Yeah. No, we left at 11, I think. 11.30.

He's like, yeah, we're in bed by 9. We watched the sunrise there, dude. I think we went to bed at 2.30, 2, 2.30. But the buffet was so spread out that, you know, between plates, Dick was, like, planning his voyage out back to the – so he was like, anyone want to come to Asia with me real quick? And it was the way he walked down there where you're like, right man we'll see when you get back and take a picture of them before and after that was my exercise too though i gotta walk to asia you know it's like

the far corner yeah long walk man long walk yeah uh all right so yeah we'll see if someone maybe knows your eye thing if that makes sense yeah because i'm i bet you there's an eye doctor like you are seeing the wrong i'll also be honest that i did try to go for a new appointment with my eye doctor they're not there anymore so they're gone they're gone i wanted to keep going to the same eye doctor because they were tracking like the the my eyes are awful they were getting worse and worse i'm like i want to keep going to the same eye doctor. Yeah. I tried to make an appointment about a month ago and I look up, you know, the office and

it's no longer an office. So you got to go to someone new. Now I got to go to someone new. There you go. Yeah. They left. Watch it. Really?

It wasn't really an eye doctor. Like they just, I just was like going to a dentist. And they were like. You ever see that guy in one of your like auditions one day, he's like sitting next to you and you're like, Dr. Frankel? Like,

I don't know. I don't know. He's a good doctor. I think Colgate, yo, Colgate, an apology. Cause the last episode you're on,

you're like, it looks just like quarter zone. Shame on them. I had a lot of people saying there were, there were people that said they did the same thing. Reached out to me. Colgate versus Quarter Zone. They look a lot alike.

I got a lot of people relating to putting Quarter Zone in their mouth. So there's people, there's mix out there. There's mix. Are you a Mick? That's what they are. We are a Mick at some point. Ryan Bushbeck. I was wondering what the light is that they put in the back for the comedy shows so i was very invested when nate started to explain it and as soon as

john started guessing the venue names i just knew they were going to get sidetracked and never come back to fully explain uh yeah we got sidetracked a lot so the light is uh so it's either a flashlight or they're like do this to you like your phone like they're just be like they wave the phone in the back and uh so it's and it's to let you know how much time you have left so you can let the light be whatever so when i headline i don't really do it at theaters now i have a clock now in theaters just because i'm kind of keeping an eye i know where i want to be in a set like i know what like i want to i don't know what joke i want to be at at 30 minutes i can usually tell where i'm going to hit if i'm at this one joke that i have if i'm at 30 minutes i'm like all right i'm good and so but when you first start

you're doing five minutes they light you at three minutes or four minutes. You get a light. So four minutes, they light you. You have one minute left. And then eventually you go 15. So when we're in New York, I'm doing 15-minute spots. They light us at 12. That's the kind of usual.

You can ask for whatever you want. But if you don't ask, it's like they leave you a three-minute light, start wrapping it up. And then when you start headlining, first you do 45 minutes, you light at 40, five-minute light. But then towards the end, I would always get a light at like 45 if I was doing an hour. So someone lets me know, hey, you're at 45 minutes.

And then you go, okay, and you start getting out of it. So that's what the light is. The light is great unless you have eye problems. And it's challenging Disney. I can see light, but like a regular light when it's like a little like, you know, a little kind of tiny one, a little flashlight thing that's like, ooh. Zany's does a flashlight. And then some places have specific lights where they flip a switch.

New York always has that. A lot of New York places have. They just flip a switch in the back. You see like a red light bulb go on. And then you know, like, all right, it's time. The Laughing Skull in Atlanta. I think I've said this before. But their light is a big light that says, this is the light.

Really big. So they're like, there's no way you missed that. It says, this is the light. That's funny. They did. what was i doing oh i did one show i did a show once where a lady gave me a light and she was new and so i was like you're headlining and so when you're headlining you tend to like when you're headlining at clubs uh people they you say like me like 45 and then you just you kind of can get off when you want

to get off that's the deal and so i don't think she realized that so she let me at 45 and then uh let me again like i think right when we were near like 50 then 55 and then at an hour and i don't i don't go long but i did like maybe an hour and two minutes and and she was like me it was a small room and it was like a cop light so it's so obvious that it's – because, I mean, when it would hit me, you would see it behind me. So you're just seeing this light, and I keep going like, all right. So usually you nod. You'd just be like – if you ever see a comic, just go his head up.

He's just letting the person in the back, I see it. But there's another kind of fun thing with the light too or sometimes if the light's already on before you get there and you don't notice it until you're like one or two minutes in or a couple minutes in and then you're like are they lighting me like am i just bombing and they're like get them off yeah yeah and then you see it cut off like five minutes and you're like i don't know what's happening if they flash the light that means off now so like in in just new york like so if someone if chris rock came in and was going to go up and they want you off they would just flash they just kind of flash it to go like hey someone's here so like you know they just this they just call someone in to just punch you in the face get them off get them off get them off

because they want whoever nick chris rock's here so he's going to go up so they just like you know do that i'm on stage i see nate up in the booth with a lot yeah get him off get him off towel under the door when my dad was in college he heard they were changing the coca-cola recipe he rushed out and bought four six-packs, convinced that they would be worth a fortune someday. We still have one of the six-packs, and each can today is worth a whopping $1.50. That is up $1.50 a can.

I mean, he's like gas station prices. That's true. That's pretty good. That's true. It took him 40 years. It took him 40 years to get a gas station. I love the way that he thinks, though. I think you should think like that. Yeah.

That's going to pay off someday if it hasn't already in something else. Yeah. Have you done something like that? I mean, I collect baseball cards with the thinking that 20, 30 years from now, they'll be valuable. Yeah. Which most of them probably won't be. But you've got to cling to that belief we did our my parents did beanie babies for abigail my sister yeah and then uh i didn't

get anything i didn't collect anything because abigail got everything and so they're but yeah like we would do i remember getting uh 9-11 i got a newspaper the next day, and I kept it. Wow. And I remember, I still have it. And I kept it. And that's the only thing I kept is like, oh, if we have kids one day, see the actual newspaper from the next day. That's cool.

But that was like, I mean, that's the only thing I was like, oh, she could take it to school or he or whatever. I feel like you would have just kept the sports section of that. Yeah, what was going on in sports? Yeah. Yeah. What did you think you were going to say? I stole it away.

You just say 9-11. I thought you were going to say you went out and bought something. Yeah, that's what I thought. You know, the streets were empty, so I thought it was a good time to go shopping. Oh, no. No, I went and bought the magazine. I mean, the newspaper. Yeah.

I think maybe a few of them, just because it was such a crazy thing. And you'd always see those newspapers of Pearl Harbor. Man lands on moon, that kind of stuff. And you're like, oh, that's crazy to see that. When Harper was born, I bought her, was it Harper's Bazaar magazine? Magazine, yeah. For that date. Yeah.

That was nice. Yeah. She still reads it. Joshua Nelms. Fun fact about Pepsi. In the 80s, they made a deal with the Soviet Union. The Soviets received Pepsi, and Pepsi received 17 submarines and three warships. Pepsi and Pepsi received 17 submarines and three warships,

enough equipment to make them the sixth largest military in the world at the time. And that's why I like Pepsi. Communist soda, dude. I like my soda to have submarines. I don't think that's weird to want that. I like that they're going to be there at all times in warships. If there's a nuclear winner, Nate's still going to be able to have this. That's right. I tell you what, the old days, there's just never nothing.

Nothing's going to be like that ever, like the old days. Good old days. I mean, just like what would you be as a company? You're like, hey, can you give us 17 submarines and three warships? Who's even? Well, I looked this up because I thought this doesn't even sound real, but it is real. Is real.

They brought Pepsi to the Soviet Union. Soviet Union money was no good at that time. So they're like, well, you got to give us something else. So they gave them all this war equipment, and then Pepsi sold it to some uh scrapyard or something just for the for the metal what if pepsi just attacked coke they're like that's it we're going to war that's what they should have done and they they messed up they sold it yeah i got a bunch of submarines how many things you'll take how do you even know the number yeah like how do you go like 17 feels

right how do you logistically how does this work so does pepsi send people over and they just go pick up the submarines and drive it over to sweden the article didn't say they had to how i'm just thinking well think about it they have to hire the 80s it's russian it's russian submarine pilots you know that are like bringing it in it seems like this stuff didn't work because they just did a scrapyard okay it's probably old equipment and then they just sold it to this place that's like yeah you trade something someone's like i got this but you got to go run an errand to get your money and you're like just give me the money like i don't want to you know i mean originally they did traded rum and then the next time it was too much so they're

like you gotta give something more and it was military 17 submarines that's a big leap up from rum pepsi's crushing it too that they're like all right we'll give you 17 submarines how do you yeah how do you go like how does one person's gotta go i think i got an idea and you gotta hope that pepsi's like all right i'll do it yeah whoever is like selling that it's like here's what my idea is here we gotta in a boardroom be like we would like 17 submarines and then three warships y'all got that they go we got more than we got plenty throw in one more and uh i don't know. Tag Gaming. T-A-G Gaming. Gaming? Yeah, I think it's maybe it's company or something.

G-A-M-I-N-G. I live in Hickory, North Carolina. We once had a funeral at the cemetery next to the racetrack. They had to delay the practice for the race for my grandmother's funeral. They kept calling the funeral director to ask if we were done yet. And at the end of the funeral, we just hear cars start up and run laps. I mean, can you imagine?

I mean, I honestly think that's what I'd want is my funeral. I think it'd be, nothing would be funnier than just go, we done? He goes, they're done. And just,

I mean, the second the casket closed, you get lowered in, it's like, and everybody has to get distracted. I love that. I think that's so funny. All right.

So Nick would. So when we, Dustin's here as well, because he's on the road with us, Dustin Chafin. He'll be on. We're recording a podcast with him today. Me, Nick, Dustin, and Rich Ronovich all live together. And I think Dustin, was it me or dustin it was dustin yeah dustin so we were all like we shared a two-bedroom apartment nate and i lived in a living room literally a curtain a curtain we we hung up

curtains to be like hit we shared a curtain and then there was two curtains in the front on these hanging wires and so we would go his room was huge my room was you couldn't fit this table in my room i mean it was not it was just my part i slept on a just a like a recliner that folded out to a bed and so we're all out one night we're all doing spots and Nick was staying in. So I'm gone. Rich is gone. Dustin leaves. Dustin walks out the door and gets maybe not even half a block down.

And he's like, oh, I forgot something. Comes back inside. Nick is standing at the oven, zero clothes on. On a stool. On a stool cooking sausages. Kielbasa. Kielbasa. And he's so he's like whoa whoa so here's what happens i'll be honest what a lot of times i would i'm running behind you know and i need to take a shower but also i need to cook so what i would do is i would turn the shower on

because it would take a bit to get hot no one's there no one's gonna be there so yes i am naked and i am making sausage and i did get caught and i was like oh and i i just you know i there was nothing to say i just had to apologize keep your clothes on at least till the shower got warm in hindsight i probably should have yeah how excited were you for the shower that you were like i just gotta get ready you know it was it was embarrassing i had to get off the stool in the same kind of, I'm sorry, I'm holding a lot of different things, you know? I mean, it's so great. You probably didn't get much time alone

in that apartment, right? So the second you're the only one there, you're like, I'm going to make myself at home finally. Well, what's so funny is like, Nate and I would play video games until four in the morning. And then we'd just wake up and we're like, hey, how's it going? What's up? That's what Nick would always say. Because Nick's always like talks to you like he hasn't seen you in a few years.

And so we would play video games. We'd go to bed, wake up eight hours later. And he'd be like, what's up, man? How's it going? I'm like, Nick, you're the last and first person I'm talking to. And you're acting like I've just already had a day ahead of me. Like, how is it going i'm like nick we you're the last and first person i'm talking to and you're acting like i've just already had a day ahead of me like how is today going uh but the dustin walking back in is just the best like just i mean how quick you because he barely was gone yeah within a couple minutes you were just waiting for him to leave yeah

you had a plan i was getting ready for a show you know and i had limited time yeah probably didn't need to make that kielbasa. I probably could have also kept the boxers on in hindsight. That wasn't saving a ton of time. No. But I was like, I got to be ready for anything. Yeah. And I like adventure.

Would you have ate the kielbasa in the shower? I may have. I don't even know. I mean, it's. The other story I wanted you to tell, because you told us this weekend. Oh, yeah. Yeah. This is an unreal story.

So we were in Cleveland and Pittsburgh. And the last time I was in Pittsburgh, this is years ago. I think when we were all living together, there was a little people convention there. And it's the first time there. And now, you know, we go to little people conventions all over the country. This is a regional. And they're not in the city. They're usually right outside the city. Like any time there. And now we go to little people conventions all over the country. This is a regional. And they're not in the city. They're usually right outside the city.

Like in a convention center. Yeah. Or a hotel. And we just take it over. It's like we take over the lobby. And so you do regional ones. And then where's the big one at? The national one, that's where I met my wife, is in a different city every year.

But that could be 2,000 little people, 3,000 little people. Regionals are smaller, but it's still like a great time. So there's a regional in Pittsburgh and it's not in the city, but the Saturday, a group of little people were like, let's go and see downtown Pittsburgh. So this one girl, she has a new minivan. All right. We're all little

people. Her dad just bought this new brand new, beautiful minivan, accessible van, you know, very expensive. So we go into downtown Pittsburgh and everyone's drinking, you know, and I'm not because, you know, it's early and I was just tired. So the girl whose minivan it is, she only had like one beer, but she was like, I probably shouldn't drive. I was like, I'll drive. I'm fine. And so now we're on the fourth floor of a parking garage that is on a very heavy, steep incline. Fourth floor down. And so I get in very confident okay i'm a good driver

and i i start the car and i and i you know put it i put my foot on the brake now and i put it in reverse now what happens is the pedal extension falls off the brake so you have to they you put an extension on so i obviously i drive with pedal extension so it's like a regular pedal but there's two extended bars that attach to the pedals yeah one on the gas one on the brake so when i put the car in reverse and i put my foot on the brake i don't know how but my foot just knocks that brake pedal off. So now all of a sudden, within a second, we are just full speed going backwards down on the fourth floor. And there's a guardrail where we could just go over five little people in this minivan. We're just dead. So real instinct. I'm like, look,

I got to save us. So I just start hitting cars on the way. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I'm slowing us down and I hit seven cars and now I get out and, you know, she is just like, I cannot believe this. This is the brand new minivan my family has been saving for. And I just hit seven cars. I smashed. I just hit seven cars. I smashed. So now we have to just sit there and wait to tell all these people that I, along with these other five innocent little people, just smashed and destroyed all these cars.

I mean, just so many people walking out, like seven people. I mean, possibly 15 people are walking out, and you're like, how you doing? Did you park on the fourth floor? You got to ask if they're like, yeah. All? Did you park on the fourth floor? You got to ask him. Yeah. All right. Well, we probably got some news for you. And then we got to get back to the hotel later because this is the convention.

Yeah. And that's like the talk of the conference. Every little person knows what happens. Like everyone's mad. You know, this family has been saving up for this minivan. And this is years ago. We're talking about 15 years ago. But I actually saw that girl. You you know i see her all the time but a couple years ago she's like you know we're still

paying off for that oh poor girl oh man you know that the insurance is not happy yeah i mean well it's their fault if they well i guess the the what was an accident so luckily it was it was all covered insurance but there's a lot of stuff asked if i go why don't you just like press the brake and just like i mean real time see that's the thing i could have just let go of the wheel and just jumped under yeah but then what happens if that doesn't go good and stops and doesn't hit yeah probably probably that's Probably that was the best idea. But I was like, real time, I'm like, I'm going to be a hero. Bam, bam, bam, bam. In reverse.

In reverse. I like how you switched it up. You didn't just stay on one side. Well, it's not. It's like there was car, car, car. So I figure if I hit this one car, hit the other car. So I'm zigzag hitting. You're like an action movie, dude.

Like that's what an action movie does. You're Batman. Yeah, I am Batman. So when we were in Pittsburgh, though, everywhere we were going, I was like, is that the parking garage? You know, just like I just wanted to see it. Yeah. That's a great story. Yeah.

So good. I mean, it's these stories that you just, they don't stop. You should write a book. Yeah. How to park a car, you know? No, just the stories. Did you guys just wait all day for people to come out to get to their car? I mean, it could have been a couple hours.

You know, I think eventually we just started writing notes. Hey, sorry, I'm trying to explain it as quick as I can. There was a pedal extension problem. It wasn't my van. I made a bad decision. And no one even knows what it is. And then you start writing it all out in one, and then the third letter is just like, sorry.

Did you talk to the people that came out? I mean, yeah, a couple of them were pretty surprised. Yeah. Were they super mad or are they cool? People are cool. They realized it was an accident. Yeah. And every other little person was like, he's an idiot.

We should have never let him drive. Yeah. And we talked about your eyesight earlier. You're still going to that doctor. And then you do this. this oh it's so good uh well this week we figured uh a fun one and nick is uh good to have on with us about we're gonna talk about the universe you have a lot of universe questions i do yeah a bunch so uh trying to figure it all out. Trying to figure it all out. Also, I did want to say, because I just found out this now,

that I was nominated for the 27th Annual Critics' Choice Award. Whoa. There you go. Congratulations. I know, it's crazy. Congrats. I'm the only one clapping. Only one clapping. No one cares.

I clapped once, and he's like, what are you doing? Best comedy special in the world of all time. God, that's what it says? It's Bo Burnham, Joe Firestone, James Atcaster, Joel, Nicole Johnson, me, and Trixie Mattel. And, yeah, it's crazy. That's very nice. I mean, you know what's crazy is like, I told my sister,

so Abigail started working for us last week. And so today I go, like, first of all, I got a text about it. Like, you know, the Grammys was like, everybody's calling me. And then I just get a text about the Critics' Choice Award. I'm like, so we're just texting? Like, no one thinks this is crazy? And then I told Abigail, and then Abigail goes, oh, that's great.

What do you want for lunch? Same sentence. I'm like, are we not? And I called my mom. I said, well, I'm going to call my mom, the only one that still will make me feel very special about this. Because it's insane. That's crazy.

It is. Very nice. Who texts you uh like my management yeah yeah like my publicist uh rob greenwald and then so he texted me and he's the one that first he just sent the list and then i was like why don't i know what that is you're the only one who i mean those are all totally different people from the Grammy nomination. Yes. So you're the only one that's doing multiple nominations.

Yeah, well, Bo's got a Grammy nomination, but in another category. Yeah. But yes, for the comedy special. Bo's thing was great. But yeah, dude, it's crazy. It's insane. And that's because all y'all watch and listen to whatever, you know. It's all them.

It's everybody. It's the audience. A lot of critics out there. And when is the awards? I think I just saw it. I think it was January 9th. Or an email. I haven't... I didn't know. January 27th

annual Critics' Choice Awards will take place on Sunday, January 9th at the Fairmont century plaza in los angeles so yeah it's exciting it's pretty awesome to be in la a lot in january for awards i know i know i gotta see what we do with this i guess you i don't know if you go or like uh you know it's like some of the stuff i can't ever tell you don't know if like they're like no no we just no one cares about comedy you might say that there's a great chance of that. Like, no, I don't know, dude. You can hang out.

You can be a server if you want to serve the stars, which is around all the other stars. Yeah, it's crazy. So, yeah. And then also, another little fun fact we just found out. So we made a little stock. Me and Nick had to run to the bathroom real fast. Aaron Weber here has never peed on an airplane never have i've been flying a lot lately

for whatever reason yeah just i never have we were talking because that's the first time in like 80 episodes that we've stopped to use the bathroom did you know that yeah the first time we've done that yeah so the nick was saying he like you know he has to time it without on planes and stuff and i've never done it i don't know what it looks like in there i feel like for me i i have a feeling like when i can't pee that's when i need to pee you know i have that like ah i wish i had gone yeah i'm i'm truly amazed that he's never peed on on a plane though yeah that's crazy that's crazy. That's like, you know. He's from Alabama. They just started flying a couple years ago.

That is true. I didn't fly a lot as a kid or until the last couple years. But I've never flown more than like four hours. You can hold it for four hours. For four hours? Yeah. There's a very old man way to say it. For four hours?

You go four hours. Man, with my large prostate now. Yeah. From my house to here. Yeah. When I walked in, Nick saw me. I was like, I got to go. Martin Short has a great joke.

He says, the only time I don't have to pee is when I'm peeing. That's good. Yeah, it's Martin Short. Very funny guy. Probably probably gonna make it yeah they uh yeah it's uh i i mean i yeah i'll go to the bathroom and then uh i'll pee on a plane um what was i i was gonna say something i don't know i was on a flight once where something upset my stomach and i had to go oh my god and by the time I came out, opened the door, there was a line halfway. Oh,

dude. I mean, I went back to my seat and there were still people in line beside me because the line was so long. Wow. They're just looking at me

like, you did this. They just know, here he is. What do they say? Walking dead. Dead man walking. Was you on Southwest?

I can just picture Southwest? No, this is actually a flight to Japan. Oh, wow. Yeah. Excuse me. Excuse me. Pardon me. Pardon me.

Excuse me. I mean, at least, though, there's a lot of bathrooms. If that's like a small regional and then it's like, you know. There were two. Two bathrooms. Wow. First class one and then it's like, you know. There were two. Two bathrooms. Wow. First class one and then one in the back?

No, there were two on each side but in two long rows on this. It was a big foot but my row, it was all the way up. Did everybody,

before they went in the bathroom, the person after you lights a cigarette and blows it in just to go. Everybody lit up a cigarette. This is back when people smoked cigarettes. Was it?

I'm going to fight to Japan. Were you flying Pan Am over there? That's so good. Did you ever fly with people smoking? When did they stop smoking? When did they stop that? I'm guessing the mid-90s. I want to say 90s. oh really yeah like i i don't i don't remember it i remember uh we never i was we never flew i didn't fly until i was older uh but i flew once when i was five because we had a funeral and back kind of in that flight but i don't know if they smoked 1990 they started to roll out regulation on it in the 70s oh and then yeah by

1990 that no smoking sign was permanently lit up on all domestic i would have uh if they still had it i would i would have flown like now i would have been like well i'm gonna go take a flight where you can smoke on it just to see what it is. Just to be like, let's do a comedy club. And they smoke and you're like, well, you want to see it. You don't love it all the time, but it's like, I don't know. Nate's just smoking a cigar, you know, hanging out. No, I mean, I don't smoke that many cigars, but you're the cigar guy.

Yeah, I do love smoking cigars. Yeah, but yeah, I don't know what I was trying to say. It's my opinion. I've had to use the bathroom once like that. Absolutely. After going to Mexico with Laura, but it wasn't, there was no, like I got in and out, but it was like, right when you leave Mexico, it was like, it just hit me and it was like bad news. And then you got to run.

I mean, you're just in in there you're just so embarrassed you know yeah because people keep you hear them yeah on the door trying it yeah and they can't hear you go someone's in here that happened to my friend once we went from mexico and tijuana back to the u.s and the border crossing was a long line So you could take a bus and you pay like 10 bucks and, you know, and then you're, you're through way quicker. And my friend that we're there with ate like a street hotdog the night before, and it was a problem. And so they had this little bathroom and it's an emergency.

And now this is like overcrowded bus of people trying to get back in. And he is in there. And then there's a stop. So it's not like, it was supposed to just be like, we're in and out in 20 minutes. We're on this bus for three hours. And he's in there for about a half hour.

He comes out. There's families like mad at him. They're yelling at him, you know? And then he has to sit back down sweating. Sad. It's the worst you would tell your temple story oh gosh you don't want to tell it i mean i'll tell it it's funny i'll tell it yeah yeah this is a long time i can't wait yeah so i mean this i'm not proud of this story yeah it's a college story it's a college story so rutgers uh this is temple this is temple okay i i'm lactose intolerant so that's part of you know let it out let everybody know i am i'm

lactose intolerant i can't have milk i'm i'm the annoying guy that's always like can we hold the cheese so i ate you know so i went on a date uh with with this girl and it's, you know, I'm, we're eating something and there happened to be dairy in it. And I did not know that. So we go to a bar and we're, we're all hanging out at this bar that is overcrowded. Mind you, there's one bathroom in this bar and it's a college. It's a college bathroom in like, we're talking about blocks and blocks from anything else. Okay. And so we go in there and we're kind of partying on this date with this girl. And it's a problem.

And I know I need to. It's like, this is not a problem that can last 45 seconds. You start thinking about other stuff. I'm starting to think like, where can I go? This is going to happen right now now there's 15 people in this line and the door doesn't even close all the way into this bathroom yeah and i'm on this date and i'm starting to sweat and i'm still trying to like you know i'm not you know i'm like dating is not like you know the easiest for me at this time and i'm like trying to be cool and

and it's like i now have seconds from when this is just uncontrollably possibly problem right here, you know? And so I ended up having to just go around the bar and mind you, this is North Philly. This is North Philly. North Philly is, is definitely a lot better now. But at that time there was like abandoned buildings and there would be grass and there, you know, you're, you're, you're blocks away from anything else in a really dangerous area. But there's just grass outside the bar. And so I just, I'm like talking to this girl. I'm like, I got to get a call.

And I'm just like, make up like a call. Cell phones are not invented at this point. And so I run around. I had to run around. And unfortunately, that was it. Just out in the grass. Out in the grass behind this bar. Oh, my gosh.

What'd you do then? Did you just go home? Well, they have a baby together. Yeah. We're married. So basically, I came back in, and it was, you know, the day kind of ended pretty much. I was like, I'm sorry. Bye.

Yeah, I got to get out of here. Here's my business card. Call me. That's so funny. And just like, I mean, you're getting those points though and you're like,

what are you gonna do? You know? It just, you know, I had no choice. You had no choice. You gotta think everybody, everybody on earth

has that moment. Like billionaires have been in situations where like, it happens. Absolutely. You gotta go. Yeah.

There's no, there's it's it is what it is but i'm still just i can't believe that he has the ability to be like well i'm not gonna go he can hold it four hours like there's like maybe there's like a deep-seated one anything i drink water i'll get a diet coke on the on the plane one of his parents like yelled at him like you will not go you know it's like a deep seated. You can't. I try to go right before I board. You know. The short flights I get, I've started drinking.

This weekend I started drinking so much water. I think like I'm going to end up just eating better out of pure like my body just won't let me. Like that's what happens. Is that what happens? You just have no choice. You're like, it is what it is. Like I can't. like i started this weekend like i think i drink water and then for the past month i've been like my i feel like my gums like i just felt like i'm like oh i'm dehydrated and i finally figured it out like after i was trying i was like what could it be you know and finally i was like

i think i'm dehydrated and so i started drinking like try to drink four liters of water so i drank this weekend i was drinking four liters of water over the past two days. And I would just pound them. And I'm like, almost like can't even get myself up to being, but it's like I'm just keep pounding water. And like, you're just like, I guess I have to drink four liters of water. Do you feel better after doing that?

Yeah. I mean, I would sometimes feel lightheaded, like, after a show. And I was like, well, maybe I'm not eating like I should or something. And then I think it's this, I just think it's water i think i was so i think i drink water but then you you really look at it and you go like i ain't drinking water like i have i fill one cup up a day like you know i have sips of water and i have diet pepsi and i'm drinking a ton of those i drink i was drinking with a meal so i might have two to three a day. And then, you know, so it's like, yeah, I'm just not drinking.

And I realized that. And food now is like, it's getting close. When you start feeling it, you're like, it just makes me too tired, and I just don't feel good. What, two in the morning? Did we not eat fried stuff? I didn't. That was like self-control.

Yeah, I ate a burger. I felt it in the morning, too. I had that burger late. Yeah. Yeah. I ate a burger. I felt it in the morning, too. I had that burger late. Yeah. Yeah. I got a coffee like at 5 o'clock before the show, and Leah said, I can't do that. I'd be up all night. And she says, Nate, I said, Nate will have a Diet Pepsi at midnight. Yeah.

Or just whenever, right? Yeah. Like, you never stop. Oh, yeah. But it's going to, it's wrapping up. Yeah. You can feel just everything is just kind of like, all right, dude. You know, you really, it's wrapping up. You can feel just everything. It's just kind of like, all right,

dude, you know, you did, you really, you don't have a choice. You can either fight through the way you feel and just ignore it and be like, or you got to go like, oh,

and I've realized now with how everything's getting so busy, I won't be able to do what I want to do. So what I, if I want to keep going ahead and I want to keep moving forward and do all these shows and blah, blah, blah, if I keep eating bad, I'm not going to have the energy to do it. You're going to get sick. You're miserable. You're not in a good mood.

And I mean, the hydrated thing was crazy. I was like, my mouth is so dehydrated. And it's been like that for a month. And I just kept thinking, what is it? And it would help. I drink something and then it would go good. And I'm like, I think it's been like that for a month and i just kept thinking what is it and it would help you know i drink something and then it would go good and i'm like i think it's all just caught up i haven't ever been i've been drinking water for like two months and so then it's just like hit you and then you're like well it's done now you know so we'll see i've been pounding it i've always been just amazed i mean living with you i literally for years had not seen nate drink a sip of water

like i mean he's like brushes his teeth with diet pepsi like he does not know no water yeah the pictures show it that uh old pictures show it i mean that's even like i didn't but back then when you're younger you don't feel you don't feel like i never paid attention to my body like they tell you to listen to your body and like i just never told my body to shut up. Yeah, we're eating mcdonald's. I'm the boss of this. Don't tell me what to do Yeah, and then now you're like, oh I can't do I mean look we had the buffet. I ate horrible this weekend We had those burgers last night. I was starving. We didn't have I didn't have anything. Uh Today i'm eating something for lunch. That's a little bit better. Like, you know, you just got a chicken salad sandwich. Yeah.

I don't even really eat those. It's like at least we're working our way down to like, that sounds like an adult, like, lunch. You know, it's crazy. All right. The universe. Let's dive into the universe. We're just one little piece of this big, big universe.

We're just a little small speck, Nick. Yeah. I feel like we should have Elon Musk. The blue dot. Try to tap him in. Yeah. Tap him in. You got a connection to Elon? I wish I did. How are we going to do that then, Nick? I don't know. All right.

Did you say blue dot? Yeah, the pale blue dot. That's Carl Sagan. Right. And when, I think it was the Voyager 2 was leaving our solar system, and everyone had just been shooting the camera out. He's like, turn it around and shoot it back toward us. And there's a picture of just how small and insignificant we are. So who was out there?

That's one of our uh voyager 2 one of our spaceships that we've sent out it's now left our solar system and they're like we just sent it are people on it no no no we just sent one out there voyager 1 and voyager 2 this is we've talked about this on a previous episode they put gold-plated records on there. Oh, yeah. This is the thing that they do. Yeah. Yeah. And it'll go on, they think, for centuries. Yeah. Maybe forever.

It don't hit nothing. It just keeps going. Yeah. That's so crazy. Yeah. But he wrote this thing about how everything in the history of mankind, every life, every heartbreak, every... It's very well put. It's happened to that little bitty pale blue dot. You start thinking about it, and it's pretty crazy.

Yeah, it's like every king, every war. Every peasant, everything. Every love, every heartbreak, everything on that little dot. You just grab it and go, and it's over. Pretty wild, man. These numbers are so vast. I think about that sometimes if I step on an ant.

Yeah. You're like, just a tear, just a, what's the, just share? Murder? No. Yeah, but. Shears? Yeah. What's the rest of the sentence?

And we'll see. I don't know the rest. I think it's a pretty important word. What is it? Tears, share, or something like that the fear the sheer terror the sheer terror okay of that ant of that ant yeah sheer terror is a good word yeah but i didn't know how to what was i saying the opposite tear share tear the tear tear share of when an ant, because you think you just walk, and then the ant is like, oh, he doesn't know.

And it's just like if a tire runs over an ant hill, you've got to be like, what? Like, what is that? Or just demolished the whole ant family. Yeah. They don't even know. They're still looking into it like the detectives of ants are still like they go i don't know but we have these flashes of

darkness it happens a lot get low to the ground the ones that builders up too high they're like you can't do stuff like that because you will get run over yeah honey i shrunk the kids yeah great movie. It's the same idea. Same idea. We're all little looking up, you know? Yep, yep. A shoe could kill us at any time.

Any time. That's a great movie. It is a great movie. Yeah. I need to watch that with my daughter. Speaking of new movies with this theme, though, how about Don't Look Up? Have you guys seen the stuff about that?

No. What is it? It's going to be a Netflix movie about a comet coming from outer space. Yeah. Leonardo DiCaprio. Jennifer Lawrence. Oh, man. And it's coming out soon. It looks awesome.

Yeah. That stuff's fun. I feel like that's the way stuff's going to start going is a little bit more that kind of thing. These movies, you talk about aliens, like you're going to see it now like once all those aliens come out and they come out stuff like that then you realize like oh this is like what we're starting to do now i feel like they've been doing that for 50 years yeah but like aliens have come out a lot this past year and so i feel like people's mind the writers kind kind of go like, oh, like, you know, we've never talked about aliens like we have in this last year. I mean, we're saying that they're here.

And so, like, I feel like writers are kind of like, now you're like, all right, what about, you know, your mind just creatively goes that way. I remember when two Asteroid movies came out at the exact same time. Great movies. Deep Impact. Deep Impact and Armageddon. Yeah. Came out almost back to back. I don't know if I saw Deep Impact. Is that great? It was pretty fun. It was one of my favorite movies as Deep Impact. Deep Impact and Armageddon. Yeah. Came out almost back to back. I don't know if I saw Deep Impact.

Is that great? It was pretty fun. It was one of my favorite movies as a kid. Armageddon, though. Morgan Freeman's president. Yeah. That's always good. I love it.

Never saw Armageddon, though. What? What? He's never peed on a plane? Never seen Armageddon? You think there's a connection? Should do both on the same plane. Yeah.

The universe is so big. There's a lot of numbers here. You can be like, there's no way they know that and you're gonna be right i think because you're like how would they know this so the universe is 13.8 billion years old according to scientists well how does it start then like that's all of it you go well the big bang happened 13.8 million years ago and then everything's just been expanding out how did the big bang happen though well that's what happened for the ultimate question i mean that's all like it's just been expanding out how did the big bang happen though well that's what happened for the ultimate question i mean that's all like it's just crazy they should just go like we think that's what i wish they would do yeah there's no way of us though this is what it

someone could be like this is what we feel happens but because then you're like what happened for that and they're like i don't no one knows exactly. There's no way of knowing. So we're here. Some Christians believe the Big Bang, but they feel like God still did it. Yeah. He was in charge of it. Yeah, got it started. Yeah.

Like a switch. Like a match. Like a match. He didn't mean to. He was too close to the gas pump. Oh, yeah. He's got his people over there now. It's 93 billion light years

across the universe. People talk about light years like we all just know light years. I know. I mean, people go, like, how many light years? And they go, oh, okay, five light years. And you just know light years i know like they i mean people go like how many light years and they go oh okay five light years and you're like you know what that like you wrap your head around what that is i don't know what a light year is so how far light can travel in a year and light travels at 186 000 miles per second so what does that mean that

means nothing it doesn't mean nothing it's just so vast and that's just the observable universe because light can't go faster. Nothing can go faster than light. So it's still taking time for it to even get to our eyes, if that makes sense. So what are we in here, this room, looking at this light? Just zero negative light years from this light? Is that what you would say? Basically zero light years from this light? Is that what you would say? Basically zero light years. We're like light seconds.

You mean the distance from us to the lights on the ceiling? We're like, is this a light second? You can probably just use feet. If you're talking about that. 10 feet. How's it travel though? If you had to describe in light years, does it go down to months? We're light months away.

Like, you know, the sun is light months away from us. But, like, something would be light years away. Is there one light year? Well, yeah. Sure. So then what's below one light year? Half a light year. What's below?

When does it just stop? So is this zero light year? No light. No light. I'm'm saying is there not a light month like i don't think anyone's ever thought of in those terms but yeah they should get into it the sun's 93 million miles away from the earth so it takes sunlight eight minutes and 20 seconds to reach earth so it's seconds so it's eight minutes it's eight light minutes away no a light year is a unit of distance not time okay so 93 million miles is uh a fraction of a light year right obviously because it's not it doesn't take a year for the sun to get to us. It takes nine minutes.

It's hard to get your head around. Yeah. It's also hard to, you know. Just say you don't want to go any farther. That's all I would just say. Like, that's what I wish the scientists would be like. We're not, you know, they want to just say I'm dumb, and they should go like, we're just not doing that much of it.

Like, you know, you get the general idea of it. And I go, okay. At least you're acknowledging that we're – he's like, yeah, it would go farther. But no, it doesn't. Also, just the 96. Who could ever fact check that – no, I think it's 38. Nobody could. Nobody.

Whoever decides that is like, this is what it is. But they're giving you something to talk about. I get that. They're going like, this is the best guess. And the university is expanding. And I'm like, we're expanding into what? Like, what's out there? I mean, you know what I mean?

Yeah. The balloon's expanding. There was something before it got there. So what is that? Yeah. It's like walking into a dark room. And you're like, is this room bigger than I think? You got to turn the light on and see.

That sounds like something smart, but it doesn't. It's got this. It just goes back to lights on, lights off. You walk in a dark room, you think it's a big room. Well, maybe turn the light on. It ain't as big as you thought it was. And then people are like, what? Hang on.

Sounds good. There's two trillion galaxies in the universe. Wow. Two trillion galaxies. So we're in a galaxy. Yeah. The Milky Way galaxy. Everything you see in the sky at night, that's all the Milky Way.

That's just us. That's just us. We got our own thing going. Named it after a candy bar. Well, I don't know which one came first, but we named our planet Earth. We named our galaxy Milky Way. Solar system, still a solar system. We didn't name it.

Well, I guess we named it the solar system. But I feel like that's like galaxy or planet. Yeah, it's like a generic term. We never gave it a name. Didn't give the sun a name either. Sponsorship. Well, the sun is the name. It wasn't like they go, that's a sun.

What should we call it? Yeah, because. Yellow. Because go that's a sun what should we call it yeah because yellow because the sun's a star so yeah other solar systems have suns yeah but not our i know but they don't have our sun they're not the sun but they're well we're we're only talking about the sun you can see so if you start seeing the other sun well you're you want to see these other suns and you're we're talking about you know what i'm talking about when i say the sun sun's bright today you don't go which one you know you know what i mean yeah yeah i know which one's ours yeah yeah i see ours out there you see it right it's coming through this window a little bit right there that's our son it went 93 million

miles to get right there just to go hey aaron i'm here there's 200 billion trillion stars in the universe yeah feels about right yeah i see about 12 of them every night you can see if you're out cloudy i see zero 200 billion trillion and i mean just one cloud you get zero we can see about 6,000 of them. Yeah. On a, I guess. An average day at night. Wow.

A clear night. Yeah. I took a cosmology class. I see the same ones every time though. Yeah. Those are the brightest ones. Yeah. It's fun using that app where you can, the Skywalker app. Yeah, it's awesome.

And when I went to Australia, you can see planets there that you I mean stars there you can't see here they don't have the same stars what's a different hemisphere they have a different sun different side of the earth yeah

wow you're like what is this is it weird yeah there's no toilets go the other way there's no yeah

is that true there's no Big Dipper oh there's no Big Dipper I think that's right I think yeah because we're in a different hemisphere so you can't see it

huh huh do toilets go the opposite think that's right. I think. Because we're in a different hemisphere, so you can't see it. Huh. Huh. I would not. Do toads go the opposite way? That's a real thing? Why do they do that? I think we talked about it.

I forgot. Something about the hemisphere, the equator. Something about the, yeah, the gravitational field of the. I learned about that from the Simpsons, that episode. Anybody seen that where they go there and they have to like spank Bart? Yeah. No. No. anybody seen that where they they go there and they have to like spank bart yeah no no i may be i may be mixing up that episode i watched a video of a guy with a toilet and he's at the he's at the equator and he has it on the north and he flushes it and then he moves it 10 feet over and flooding and goes the other way uh he guy brought his own toilet and he can make it flush yeah it doesn't have to be attached to

anything i don't remember i don't remember exactly how it worked but i do sound like a scientist right now yeah where does the water go just trust me yeah i know you don't yeah just trust me what were you saying a minute earlier i took a cosmology class in college sounds like uh makeup which is not not cosmetology beard trimming cosmology which is just about the origins of the universe and there's a planetarium on campus and i remember one of the first thing pretty much the only thing i remember from that class was they put up what it looks like if you're on a clear night on earth what all the stars look like and then they go now we're going to increase the brightness of all the stars

that are too dim to see with the naked eye. And they just gradually, and then the whole screen was white. Yeah. Because there's just so many out there that we can't see. Yeah.

And y'all go, wow. And you go back and chug beers and do video games. Stand in line for Notre Dame game. Yeah. I mean, that's a waste of all that time. So y'all can go, wow. That's what we did.

This is probably the farthest that information has ever gotten. This is most people it's reached. Like, who would, you know. It was worth it, I guess, for this class. Yeah. Wow. So it's like just a bright room. You go, yeah.

That lesson alone was worth four years of going to school yeah and then you went to your friendship class yeah and I went from right there

to friendship some people think we're a computer simulation this whole thing computer simulation I like that this it'd be fun

if we were this philosopher said that he thinks we're simulation Elon Musk says he thinks there's an excellent chance that this is one big, like the matrix. Have you seen the matrix movies?

Yeah. And there, but yeah, new one coming out, new one coming out. And so the idea of the matrix, that's what they are. So that's not a real world.

Right. I watched all three. I don't know if I got that. I mean, it's like someone on a computer on the outside? Yeah, there's an architect, and he's created the whole world. And then, you know, Neo and a few other people, they take the whatever pill that shows you the truth. Oh, the red pill shows you the truth?

Mm-hmm. I can't remember which one, but the other one just lets you go on and live in your life. You don't know any better. Yeah. Okay. All right, I get that in your life. You don't know any better. Yeah. Okay. All right. I get that movie now more. You said that.

The whole red pill, blue pill thing is like one of the most fun. Take the red pill. Take the blue pill. That's like the best choose your own adventure thing out there. I think I just watched them take pills and I don't even think I thought into it. I don't think I deeply think into stuff. I was just like. Taking an aspirin. Yeah. I mean't know if I got deeply thinking into stuff. You were just – I was just like – Taking an aspirin, huh?

Yeah. I mean, I guess I get the general – like, I don't ever think about this. I don't watch a movie like that for some reason. I don't know why. Well, I miss a lot of – That's a pretty major plot point of the movie, though. I know, but I don't –

it's – I don't think about – I don't, like, deeply think about some of this. Like, I'm just like – I don't know if it's now. It's like – that's why I'm going back and watching all these old movies is like – because I'm just like deeply think about some of this. Like, I just like, I don't know if it's now it's like when I'm, that's why I'm going back and watching all these old movies is like, cause I'm just like, kind of like,

I'm not even in it really, even though I'm like, I enjoy it and it's fun and it's fast and that's what I want, but I'm not watching it going like, I can't believe that was about to happen. Like, I don't, but I don't know why.

Like, is it, you know, I don't know. Is it getting busier? Is my, is it, you know,

whatever it is, it's like, nothing's like sticking with me so i can watch something and basically that's why i can re-watch the same thing over and over but i could have a problem could have a cornea problem that's how he could learn kung fu or how to fly a helicopter whatever they would just upload a program yeah to him and he would immediately learn yeah. Yeah, this all makes sense now after seeing the movie. I think if there is one of the, not Neo, Neo was the... Keanu Reeves. Keanu Reeves, the other guy. Morpheus?

Morpheus, who was like the controller of everything. I think that's Elon Musk if there is one of these things happening. He knows how to do so much crazy stuff. He's already planning how to shoot rockets into asteroids right now. But that would be like God. Well, there was an architect that Neo confronts at the end. Yeah. That's just a white guy with a white beard or whatever.

But yes, that's what I was about to say. I think, but to me, that seems like God. Yeah, it would be like- God is the architect of this world. It'd be like whatever you, yeah. So it's like you're making it this, you're making it this, you're making it that. Everybody's making it whatever their thing is. And then it's like you're making it this, you're making it this, you're making it that, making it, you know, everybody's making it whatever their thing is.

And then it's like, that's no different than religion. I agree. Yeah, if it's a computer. It's so funny. It's these scientists who don't think there is a God, but now they're like, no, I think this is a simulation. There is someone behind it. Well, that's kind of what we've been saying the whole time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a designer behind the thing. They take it a step further. Now they think there's a glitch in the matrix because some stuff had been happening. Like what? The Brexit vote, Trump winning, the Falcons up 28 to 3 in the Super Bowl. And Oscars when La La Land was announced, but then it got corrected. So there's not supposed to be mistakes? Yeah.

Well, I mean, this is ridiculous, but they think there's something weird going on, you know, because all these things are happening that shouldn't be happening. Not 9-11 or Hurricane Katrina, but the Oscars getting mixed up. Yeah, the La La Land thing. Something's not right. I can't misspeak. I mean, Warren Beatty was 90-something years old. You're like, that looks like it makes more sense than if he got it correct. You got it right, it'd be a glitch.

Yeah. I want to just make a statement that I believe in God, not Elon Musk, because I'm getting my daughter baptized. And I don't want to be like, wait a minute, we saw you on there talking about Elon Musk. Well, you're going to have an Elon Musk pin on. You're going to do your own private Elon Musk. You're going to drive there in your Tesla, man. We know. Make sure we post that clip of Nick saying Elon Musk is God.

But no, they really feel like if there's an architect, it could be his kid with a joystick just messing with this. Get back. Get back. These are people's lives down there. So, yeah. So when all that weird stuff started, I mean, weird stuff happens throughout history.

But those are the examples they gave. Tom Brady making a comeback against the Falcons. Yeah. They're like, that could have happened. It couldn't have. Yeah. Greatest football player of all time. Greatest football player of all time.

Won another Super Bowl in another conference division they even break down the Super Bowl how it didn't make sense because the Falcons run defense and all this stuff there's a glitch in the matrix I think anybody takes any idea and then there's people that just go

they're like oh I'm way in on that and they just kind of look at it. Then it makes it fun because it makes it a fun thing. Imagine just refusing to admit that your team's not that good. You have to be like, I think there's some kind of glitch in the matrix right now. It's like an Atlanta program. Hear him out. Hear him out.

Guys, I'm going to get out of here. This is getting too heavy. Just hear him out. The Falcons head coach, that was his excuse at the post-game press conference. Yeah. Something's wrong with the simulation, honestly. Honestly, I don't know. I think his kid, a dog, ran over the joystick.

We had that game won. And Belichick never smiles after the Super Bowl. He's like, I don't want to give it away. Yeah, he knows. Another movie about to come out, the Spider-Man, new Spider-man movie is about parallel universes and some people think they're parallel universes alternate universes one example that they cite in 1954 a man showed up at the airport in tokyo he uh his

passport showed him from a country that did not exist it's called tarad and he said he's from there and they said point it out on a map and he pointed it out and it was near france and spain he could share he could speak different languages they couldn't find anywhere so they thought maybe something's up they put him in a hotel room and guarded the hotel room till they could figure out what to do the next morning the man's gone and he was on like the sixth floor or something like that he was completely gone disappeared so people are saying maybe somehow parallel universes, they got crossed up. And he ended up in ours.

And he's in a world in that world where it's called a different country. Yeah. What if they... A, what if they... There's going to be no B. There's no glitch. No, I said, what if they all... Like if there's another universe and they all know and we don't like do you think they all like would they know or we're just all sitting over here like we're the only ones and then we're the last

to know or they could be dumb yeah well i mean if we're all in the same timeline i guess future them might know just like future us might know. But yeah, I mean, the argument is there's multiple us doing different things. Just one decision we make. And another, one lady said that she came home one day and she had a different boyfriend. She thinks it's because of parallel universe, but I think she just was hooking up and that was crazy.

But to me again, the universe is just so infinite that it goes on forever. I don't even know why parallel universe seems like a big thing. It seems like if it just goes on forever, eventually it will be another one of us out there. Yeah. Because the reason there's life on Earth, they say, is because it's just right. It's not too far or too close to the sun. Yeah.

Not too hot, too cold. It has water. You can have life. Well, if the universe is infinite, somewhere along the way, there's going to be another sun. That's going to be just the right distance. Well, how come there's no planet that works around the sun? What about Mars?

It's too hot. The Martian. Huh? It gets too close. It's too hot. I know, but there's not one on our exact number. Earth. Yeah.

I think, boy. I don't know why there's not another Earth there. You mean out in Like our- Yeah. I think- I don't know why there's not another Earth there. You mean out in the universe? Yeah. Well, we just haven't found it yet is what they think. Could it be on the backside

of the moon? I mean the sun? Or they couldn't even be- Well, we go around the sun. That's right. So we would see it. Unless it's moving with us. Unless it's moving with us.

So it's always over there. Yeah, that's true. It's always right behind the sun. So it could be right over there. We just need to look. We need someone to go out there and just look around there. That's true. It's always right behind us. So it could be right over there. We just need to look. We need someone to go out there and just look around there. Well, we're going to inhabit Mars in our lifetime. He thinks we already have.

People will be there. Yeah, we're up there. And I think one of, was it Saturn's moons, Europa? That is right. That has water on it? They think so. We talked about that in the oceans episode. They think there's water underneath.

So there's... Well, Mars, what is on there? They think we can live in Mars? You'd have to do a terraform... People are trying now, man. Oh, you'd have to build something. You would have to change the whole atmosphere to be able to live there.

That seems like a lot. Yeah. To change the whole atmosphere. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, could see like someone's up there but you know what's his didn't the martian he couldn't walk outside no you can't that's what they want to do elon musk wants to build like a bubble that you can live in in marsh but if it what if a hole gets punched you patch it up yeah i think it's like multiple hole, like bubbles. Yeah.

They're also talking about terraforming, where you spray stuff in the atmosphere, kind of like global warming, but it causes it to be more like us. You dim the sun. You dim the sun. Yeah. You just bring a lot of plastic up there. You're like, here's our recyclables. Yeah.

You just hire a bunch of people that can set up a nice tailgate. That's all we go to. We go to the Alabama game and just recruit people that can set up a nice tailgate that's all we go to we go to we go to the alabama game and just recruit people that have the best tailgates you want to go to mars and build one of these up there yeah i'll do it i mean some christians believe that's proof that we're special and that that god just created us and that's why there's no one else out in the universe yeah i don't think those have to be mutually exclusive. I think God can make other living creatures and still be God. I was thinking the Spider-Man movie, like it's very, that commercial for it,

it's very funny that when, because he's like in Kansas or Iowa or something and there's nothing to grab to. And it was like, it really did. You're like, yeah, man, Spider-Man really can only be city. Yeah. You can't do, he couldn't get across. Like, just do your crimes in upper, like, the state, New York, upper state. Yeah.

What do you call it? Upper New York? Upstate New York. Upstate New York. Do the crimes up there. And he's like, well, yeah, I can do whatever you want. I mean, I can't get there. Yeah.

I'd have to take a bus. Yeah. Literally a a bus you can't fling around mailbox to mailbox yeah you know he's like getting nowhere he's just lying private yeah he's just doing mailbox to there and he's like basically like just on the ground you have to someone's behind him like and he's like i got it this is a doubt he goes one's a big farther away, Mel walks. He has to sometimes just run in between and then get it going again. That's a Spider-Man game. I mean, he's just like really, I never thought about it.

So that commercial, I was like, man, he's really a one. He needs a city. Is this? Why would they keep doing the crime in the city? Just leave the city. The guys, it's done. That's what the action is. Is this Spider-Man to the Spider-Verse or the cartoon or the live action?

I don't know if I care, but Brian, go ahead. This is live action. And from what I can tell from the previews, all the previous villains that all the different Spider-Mans have fought all somehow come into ours because the the worlds have opened up and yeah well when you're riding your 40th spider-man you gotta start coming up with some stuff yeah yeah i think that's true um time travel that's a real thing is it well we think it's real what what do you think would be harder to do go to the past or go to the future? I would say the future. Well, I guess the future would be easier because they probably already have it.

So the past would be harder. But for us, like if we had a... Future is the only one that's theoretically possible, right? All right, Aaron. You're too smart. Just let us answer. Let us get the dumb ones out first. Yeah, you're correct.

I would think it would seem like it would be easier to go to the past because it's already happened just because you've seen back to the future what is that it would be easier because it's already happened because it's already your memories are already there it just seems like from a logical standpoint maybe you would say illogical standpoint if you're going to make it time like it seemed like it'd be easier to go to the past yeah your memories already there then go to the future would you go like i feel like you would be easier to go to the past. Yeah, your memory's already there. Then go to the future. Would you go – I feel like you would go back to the West Wilson Fair in – Me? Yeah. Oh, I would.

You would choose something very just you-related, local, and just watch your same memory. You wouldn't go learn anything. You were looking at Aaron. I thought, that sounds unbelievable. I think you would go – it just be like uh first year of the mountain you'd go to the west wilson not even the main fair yeah fair you go to the knoxville when they did 1982 you go back to the world's fair world's fair and see that yeah yeah see that sun

sphere yeah i'd do that i'd go back and try not to hit all those cars in the minivan you know i'd go back i'd go back to help you out in that moment and like just i wouldn't drive but i would just say just push the brake we could we could stop 9-11 i'm gonna go to the fair yeah and you're gonna go stop we're gonna have a wonderful nice day out time travel is theoretically possible it's it's kind of happened travel of the future the faster you go the slower time speeds time happens

so um they put two clocks they have one on earth and one on an airplane and the airplane traveled around the world and when they got back

they were slightly different times hmm does that make sense I mean I don't know mm-'re one of the batter they were like battery's good everything was like my watch gets like off all the time the faster Einstein said the faster you travel the slower you experience time so that one clock stayed on

earth the other flew in an airplane after airplane flew around the world they compared the two clocks the clock on the fast-moving airplane was slightly behind the clock on the ground. So the clock on the airplane was traveling slightly slower in time than one second per second. It was in the Bermuda Triangle. Wasn't there problems with clocks and stuff? I think so. Clocks wouldn't go. Yeah, they would just stop.

Like time would stop. They wouldn't go. They would refuse to get on the plane. And we've talked about those astronauts, Scott Kelly, Mark Kelly, the twins. Yeah. Talk about how one of them was shorter after he got back. The one that was on the International Space Station going 17,500 miles per hour, his time slowed down. So he was six minutes older, or the other one was six minutes older.

Now he's six minutes and five milliseconds older. Oh, wow. That adds up, man. I mean, how do they even know that? I guess they just – Well, they know the theory, so then they – They cut his leg and counted the rings. His knee's like, your knee hurt yet?

He goes, not yet. He goes, no, it does. I'm five milliseconds ahead of you. Yeah. He's just got a gray beard. Yeah, he does. So in theory, if we ever could get to the point where we can fly at super, super speeds, we could. Faster than the speed of light.

Well, traveling in time. Because we'd be traveling so fast that like in the movie, what's the Matthew McConaughey movie? Interstellar. Interstellar. Where he goes out and then he comes back a little bit later his daughter's grown i don't know if you saw that movie or not no but that was the reason they were i think that was because of gravity oh you'd love that movie yeah it's fun it's so much fun it is so confusing though i've watched it but it's almost you don't but it like doesn't even benefit you to think about how it's working.

You just enjoy it. Just enjoy it. Because gravity increases the speed of time. So physicists at the National Institute of Standard Technology placed two clocks on shelves, one 13 inches above the other. This is what scientists are doing. It measured the rate of ticking, and the lower one ticked slower because it felt gravity slightly stronger. I mean. So that's why you're aging less than the rest of us.

I have a reverse aging. Yeah, that could be one. I had a security guard last night in the casino, and he's asking for my ID. And he's like, you know, you look a lot younger than you are. I was like, well, thank you, I guess. And he's like, no, no, I don't mean that because you're small. I just, you look a lot younger.

You look younger. I was like, well, thank you. In the movie Interstellar, one hour on a planet near a black hole is equivalent of seven years back on Earth. So that's why they had to get on that planet, go as fast as they could, and get back, right? Yeah. On what? In the movie Interstellar, they were having to go... Did you just ruin the movie for me?

No, no. No, that's not the end of it. I don't think you can ruin that movie. I literally had three people trying to explain what's happening in the movie. I didn't know. At the end, I was like, I like the special effects. I don't even know if we're talking about the same movie.

Interstellar? Yeah. I thought we were talking about Armageddon. Yeah. No, it's a fun movie. All right, I'll wrap up on some depressing stuff. How it all is going to end. Bad news baits.

Yeah, bad news baits. A couple theories. The big freeze. Boom. The university expanding so much that it'll eventually... Will you just blow over the big freeze? No. I'm explaining what it is.

The big freeze is the university expanding so much that eventually we'll just be too far away. Everything will cool off and the universe will just die from freezing. So like the sun just keeps going away? Well, I think everything's just separating from each other. And eventually we'll be all too far away from any heat source. And it'd be like just slow. Probably just be like.

I mean, like if we go a little bit, we're in trouble, right? If we moved a little bit away. From the sun? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So we can't trouble, right? If we moved a little bit away. From the sun? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So we can't move at all. I think we got some wiggle room.

Like how much? I mean, it varies pretty wildly depending on what time of year it is. Yeah. So it's not like we're an inch away from freezing to death. No, not an inch, but we couldn't live on any of the other plants in our solar system because they're either too hot or too cold. But they're pretty far away. Give us a chance, you know? Yeah.

Like we got, yeah, I like that we have a wiggle room. Yeah. That we're like, we'll be okay. Yeah. But how crazy is that though when it gradually starts happening? Like what it feels like in Alaska becomes Arizona. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

And you're like, oof. You probably can't even live in Alaska. Yeah. You can't. I mean, it's like then you're, you know, you just got to find. I think it'd be the opposite. Then you got to go to Florida. What happens in Arizona becomes Alaska if it's freezing.

Yeah. And we're talking about billions of billions of years. What happens in Arizona happens in Alaska if we're freezing. What? It's the big freeze. We're going to get colder. So he said Alaska would eventually start feeling like Arizona. No, no, opposite. Arizona is going to feel like you're in Alaska. That's what I said. We're going to get colder. So he said Alaska would eventually start feeling like Arizona. No, no, opposite.

Arizona is going to feel like you're in Alaska. That's what I said. Yeah. That's what I thought he said. Who's on first? Yeah. What's going on? The other one's the big crunch.

Oh, yeah. Oh, you know this? Is that where it comes back? Yeah, like everything's expanding out like a stretching, and then you're like whoop, and come back. Oh, like a rubber band. Kind of, yeah. So that means there's an end to the universe, if that's true.

Yeah. So we're in like a room. Mm-hmm. And then eventually it just, that would probably be quick. We'd all just disappear. And some people will think that this existence that we have now is only one of, like it continuously just does this. Yeah.

Back and forth and that we're just in one wave of it now yeah you know like you have a bad day don't worry you're gonna have another you know another chance another chance at it yeah 100 billion years from now yeah and so it's like it goes like that and then yeah so you don't want to so like we're probably good because we're not too far out but like when in a lot of times when people start figuring out more galaxy stuff eventually they're going to be like this is not good yeah it's the end i think we're not too far out. A lot of times when people start figuring out more galaxy stuff, eventually they're going to be like, this is not good. I think it's the end. I think we're getting close to the end.

I think we're going to shoot back any second now. You just snap back to the Big Bang. Yeah. Another way they say we could time travel is wormholes, which I barely understand. I saw a show where they talked about, basically, from here to here, you can bend it like that.

Yeah, get there that way. Somehow you can bend space and time. There's something in Vegas, like a loop, that's supposed to use part of this, right? The Vegas loop, Elon Musk's The Boring Company. The Boring Company is one of Elon Musk's.

Oh. And it's doing like a hyper loop that's going to allow you to use. Yeah, it's not bending space and time, but it's using. It's close. Bending something. Something. Something's happening. Something.

I think that's like the bank air shoot where you shoot the thing up, but I don't think it's quite that. Yeah, it's just like a fast ride. Similar. Some people think ghosts are people in the multiverse or the parallel universe that are getting crossed over. Yeah. And you see an image of them.

You're like, that was a ghost. Well, that was a person that's kind of bleeding over. So the ghosts are all like, I'm sorry. Sorry. Yeah, my bad, man. Or maybe they're just as confused as we are. Like, whoa, what was that? And we're ghosts to them.

We're ghosts to them. Yeah, we're ghosts to them. And if we would come together, we could win. Work some stuff out. A win. I thought we were going to get along with it. We could destroy them. No. Well, i thought we were gonna get along with it we could destroy them no i'm well i think we would then win today why are we crossing so then we're like and then we go fight who's ever making us cross i don't know can you imagine you and nick in that

apartment and there's two other of you they're also sharing it i mean that would be great there's another naked four naked nicks in the yeah in the yeah y'all go to the bathroom over there he's like no asking easy questions so the crunch and the the big freeze and the big crunch are two of the popular ways is there more is that's it oh there's a few those are the two big theories um it's is there more on the universe no we covered it all i thought you meant about the way the the universe ends no i'm in the way it ends like was there yeah those are the two big theories on the way and the don't look up thing the asteroid is like the no is no one's on that's the way it would end for us we're talking about for the universe for

the universe oh i was i was not i was yeah. Oh, for the universe. I was thinking about us. Oh, okay. So I was thinking about us. So they think an astronaut could hit us. Because an astronaut... An astronaut. I think an astronaut could hit us. Yeah.

That could happen. Technically it did when they come back and they fall in the water yeah well one theory I threw out yeah that's true yeah it's probably killed

some fish that way yeah how'd you die astronaut hit me astronaut hit me it's like that lady that got hit yeah by that debris

yeah she got hit yeah by that debris yeah she got hit by an astronaut yeah astronaut threw it up in space Buzz Aldridge just punched her in the face after

yeah there you go I'm gonna finish you off what theory I don't know I don't know what you're talking about what is that about

maybe maybe he was mad at her I don't know she should have moved yeah. What is that about? Maybe he was mad at her. I don't know. She should have moved. Yeah, she should have moved. I was going to say, one theory why we haven't found anyone else. And I threw this out when you said civilian station, so it kind of got bled over. But that advanced civilizations out there probably did something to destroy themselves.

Nuclear weapons or something dumb that they wipe themselves out. Yeah. So that's why we can't find them because, or why you haven't heard from them, because at the time they get advanced enough to let us know they're gone. Yeah. Yeah. Or just never left their planet. Like we could, if we just never left earth, we'd die out.

Right. They just never left. Yeah. Go to a different place. But there's somebody here doing something. We've seen those images, right? What? I'm talking about the spaceships. Yeah. The Ts and oh yeah yeah yeah so would you rather would you rather be aliens or china and russia have something so advanced that they're way ahead

probably aliens i mean i think you know why would you want the but if they're here then they could easily just wipe us out if they want yeah but at, but at least – We don't know their motives. It's not one of us. I feel like Sean and Rush is us. We're all – We're going to have to call Pepsi and be like, hey, you still got those subs? Hey, guess who's back? Callback King.

Yeah. All right. All right. Let's end on that. Yeah, do you have stuff coming up? I'm with Henry Cho this Saturday in McMinnville, Tennessee at the Park Theater. Yeah. I've got a show in Charleston right after Christmas.

If you're in the Charleston area, I'd love for you to come out. Check my website and stuff for details because I don't remember any of them. Me and Nick will be in Vegas. Yes. This Thursday. This comes out wednesday right it's a thursday this thursday very excited about uh yeah come check us out me my dad nick vegas and and also check out we're going to be announcing the 2022 easter seals disability film

challenge so if you follow us at disability film challenge we got some exciting stuff coming up but i can't wait for vegas we're going to have such a good time. It's going to be fun. All right, everybody. Thank you so much. Everybody that's come out to these shows, I love you. We love you. Thank you.

Bye. Bye. Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nate Land Podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or a comment. Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation Consulting

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