The Nateland Podcast - #84 Award Shows ft. Nic Novicki

Episode Date: February 2, 2022

On this week's podcast, Nate addresses his latest rant, Aaron appears in a Taylor Swift video, and our buddy Nic Novicki returns to tell us about his recent gig as a presenter at the Golden Globe Awards.    Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail] #nateland #natebargatze

Hello folks, welcome to the Nateland podcast. I'm Nate Bargetzi, Aaron Weber. We solved problem. Welcome. No. Brian's here. Brian's here. He's, you know. It's not bad. That awesome not bad baits brian baits here uh i yeah i have to apologize because people i got in a lot of trouble by everybody that i was uh mean i didn't mean to go on a big cutting. I mean, I did, I guess.

It's all coming out of, I was trying to be funny, making fun of you. And it got, and people took it too real. And so I shouldn't have done that. And I don't want anybody, I don't want anybody to think that.

I don't want anybody to hate him. Or like, it was like, it is trying to make jokes. It's trying, you go hard. Like come from a new york scene of and it's not saying it's right or wrong but like it's very hard like it's very just you go super hard after each other uh so i but i shouldn't have done that i don't anybody think one guy doesn't want to come to show ever again he was so mad but i don't want you to think i ever have like any of this in my heart. I don't hate anybody. I would never in a million years make you feel bad.

I have no desire to do that. You're seeing three dudes hang out, and we're going after each other hard. I probably did go after hard. I probably did get frustrated a lot when we traveled together, and it might come out like that, and you see it. And I can get very intense and i can get very like uh intense i can get very you know it's not i'm not perfect i'm not trying to think i am but i don't need to make you think that i like hate bait or that you know something to be mean so i apologize

for that i know there's kids listen to this, and it's just – Not anymore. Yeah, definitely not anymore. I had people ask me this weekend that I saw at the shows. They were like, are you and Bates fine? Yeah. And so we are fine. Or I think we're fine. I'm fine.

I'm, of course, fine. I was the bully, so I felt terrific. But are you fine? I want you to resign Alright, I will step down Like the office when Michael holds that apology And brings in the woman The watermark episode And it doesn't go over and she's like no

I want you to step down And they end up getting a huge fight He calls her like a bad name With the Scranton Times's i will not step down what is this speech they go you will have to pull my dead body from this podcast before i step down i will not no it's uh i know people are like oh maybe i've been maybe the last couple i've been grouchy we've definitely been on the road more than i've ever been but that still doesn't matter that's not y'all's fault.

That's no one's fault. It's not their fault. That's no one's fault. I can choose to do this or not do it. I do enjoy doing this. It's fun. I've got to learn the balance. I'm working on the balance.

It's part of my reason about trying to work out and get in better shape to have a better attitude towards everything for all the work that is coming. Your whole life, you work to get this much work so you don't want to blow it and but it will not you know i get it like it was it was too much i can get on like you know it's like i'll just i mean i called you a cow that didn't help that might have been the one that sent it over the edge but in my head there's like i'm making a joke like i'm not trying to make fun of anybody.

It's like, I don't know. I'm just on a tangent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm used to – it's not like I'm used to it, but it's like we were – I was watching a clip this morning, Rich Voss and Bobby Kelly and the New York Comics, and Rich Voss came and had a watch on, I guess, that Bobby wanted. And Bobby just asked him to leave the podcast.

And it's like that's – I was like around that. So it's like sometimes it just – it gets over into other things where it's just like you really just can go after someone. And it can be too much. Now, we recorded two podcasts that – I can't hear my mic. But we recorded two podcasts that day. That was the first one. That was the first one.

Broke for lunch. Everything was fine. Yeah. Recorded another one after that. Yeah. So if you want to really know how our demeanor was, watch when we do the talk show episode. Yeah. That's how we were.

Yeah. Just to show there was- The talk show episode. We recorded one on talk show. Yeah, yeah. It'll come out later after that one yes that was right after that one yeah but they might see it still what if they're still like yeah i can tell yeah because they hadn't gotten rid of these

statements yet and felt sorry yeah i had to give a speech my memory is that i don't remember anything like lingering over that second like it it wasn't a... No. Yeah. I don't, but I mean, yeah, you know, look, when you call another man a cow, you definitely understand how people could be. I don't even think that was the worst rant you had that day. It was, yeah, but I don't want anybody to think that. I mean, that one guy's not coming to the show. Like, that breaks my heart, like, the dude to think

that this was his last straw for him. And look, if he doesn't want to, like, I get it. Like, don't. guy's not coming to the show like i that breaks my heart like this the dude to think that they usually this was his last straw for him it's and look if he doesn't want to like i get it like don't you don't have to like but it's like i would never i would never make that guy feel bad i never want anybody to be truly hurt in their heart to be hurt like i have no desire to do that it's i'm trying to be funny we're making jokes i definitely think you go too far this is a big problem you have with as even comedians as all of us sometimes with when you talk to like someone that's not a comedian and you make jokes that's like way out of line and because you're like a mind is just kind of like always just it's about the joke and so sometimes when it does come

across it just comes across mean and if i am In fairness, half those posts were ones that I created, fake accounts. Well, there's a lot. So you got after it. I did. One guy coming on Reddit, he said, Nate doesn't owe an apology. Besides Nate playing off Brian for being a simpleton, what else does Brian contribute to the podcast? And then he went back and edited it.

I didn't think you'd find that one. I wrote, uh, well, he went back and edited it and said, uh, sorry guys. I didn't realize they actually read,

read this. So I'd like to say to him, I don't know all the research, everything. This podcast should be called Brian does everything land. There you go. That's what I'd say to you. It's not as catchy of a name,

but yeah, but more accurate. Yeah. So I still can't hear through my head, but that's okay. Brian does everything land There you go That's what I'd say to you It's not as catchy of a name But Yeah But more accurate Yeah So I still can't hear Through my head But that's okay I can hear them I just can't hear myself

So yeah So I wanted to apologize I mean you can see But you see what I'm dealing with He kills the momentum It's super hard You know what I mean It's like a cow

Getting in the road And you can't get around it It's like a cow getting in the road and you can't get around it. It's like Dwight's statement of regret. I state my regret. You couldn't have just said that? You couldn't have memorized that? No, because I did not feel it. I do feel it.

I don't want, I would never want his feelings to be hurt. I would never want, I don't want you to be listening to this and think this comes like this i know i'm labeled as the nicest man and stand up and you said but y'all see a little bit more you see i but i'm intense i'm not you know i do have uh i mean i like it look i've dealt with laura i've had to deal with it i've had to deal with it. I've had to fix myself. And I'm always trying to fix myself because I can get very quick. And if you don't do what I have, something doesn't go the way I want it to go. I can get upset.

I'm doing a bunch of stuff to help that because I don't want to live like that. And so there's a lot of stuff that I can do. I think a lot of it is the reason you're a comic the way you are because i do i can get annoyed at anything and it's and it's always stuff that's so stupid but that's where i think comedy comes from is like you get annoyed at like a line at target or i get annoyed like and i'm just losing it and like uh but i never outwardly give it to someone. I bottle up and give it to the people that I love. And I just jam it all on them. And so, you know, my Bates, my wife, you know, Aaron, he's got a Waffle House shirt on.

And so, Bruce Bruce. I opened for Bruce Bruce once. Did you? Yeah, Caroline's. How'd it go? He does, Bruce, he murders. Bruce Bruce, in his intro. I was with you. Yeah.

So I go out and then Mark Theobald, a comic from New York, and so then I go out and I'm featuring in the middle. So I get done with my set, goes great, comes off, and then Bruce is in the green room.

I talked to him for a second. I just said, you know, I was like, I am from the South, like, you know, and he was, like, cool and, like, nice real quick. And then when Mark brought him up, Mark walks off stage and they start playing music. And this is almost the first time I've ever seen, like, kind of a showmanship. And so I don't know what's, like, they said, I'm, like,

a younger comic that's, like, yo, name so you're you should go and I like went I almost almost and thank goodness I did it and I almost was going to go back and be like Bruce Bruce they said your name name like I thought that might be funny uh but thankfully I didn't do any of that something I at least had something in me that goes, just don't. I'm sure he knows that his name's called. And they were playing a song. And then he walks out. And when he goes on stage, he raps the last part of the song. But it's awesome.

And then you're like, oh, yeah, that's a showmanship. I hosted for him in Alabama a couple years ago. And I just never felt the crowd forget about me so quickly. As soon as he walks out, he's just. He's a legend, dude. Like, he's a true, yeah, I mean, like, just destroys. And then just, you know. And it is.

It's the way he comes out and the way, like, you see it where you're like, man, that is awesome. Like, it's like, it builds that excitement. It builds that, you know, people are like, yeah, we're here to have a good time. It almost makes everybody just check out. Yeah. Yeah.

I like that. All right. I did have a lot of people ask me. They said, are we still friends? What'd you say? I go, never were. There you go. Who told you?

I pinned them against the wall. Who sent you? Did someone in the Bates Who told you? I pinned him against the wall. Who sent you? Did someone in the Bates family send you? How'd you get back here? Last night I was watching Seinfeld, and it was the one where James Spader's in the 12-step program, and step nine is apology, and George keeps demanding it, and he's like, all right, I'm sorry.

I didn't want your bulbous head. Stretch it out my finely knit sweater. And that's kind of. My apology is real, at least. Because people will think it's not a real apology. Right. I don't ever want you to be, your feelings hurt. Or you're like to me to hurt you.

It's comics. We're making fun. So I can probably go a little bit harder than everybody. And I get that. I got to bring it back. I've even gone so hard. There's been times I've gone so hard later on. Like, just various.

You pull. You're like, hey, man, I'm just, like, messing with you. Like, you say it later because you're like, I just, you're like, well, I can't. Like, that was too much. And, like, you're going for the laugh. You're going for whatever. So, I can't. That was too much. And you're going for the laugh. You're going for whatever. So I don't want to. I mean, the guy that's not coming to the show again, that hurts me.

You're like, well, I don't want that guy to think. I mean, the last couple episodes, I guess I was grouchy. Yeah, but I don't want that guy to be. That's not what this is about. I'll start. We're calling Noah. I go on these rants. That's all I got man

maybe I can reach out to him and I think he likes me he definitely likes you get him to come back

I might need you on a show to get him to I don't know what show he's going to we probably already got it

booked but there's maybe he'll be happy if I bring our buddy Who's with me this weekend, Nick Novicki

Nick There's not a camera at you, Nick He thought he was coming in after comments Oh, no, you can just come on in Nick was with me this weekend And he's flying out today So We're going to read some comments, Nick.

Everybody knows you, Mick. Hello, folks. Blake Fitzsimmons. I just want to say how much of an impact Nate, his family, and the podcast have had on our lives. Our daughter has been in the hospital since she was born in August. She had her heart transplant at the first of this year and is recovering super fast. This podcast and this community that surrounds it have been extremely instrumental in keeping my spirits up. We had

tickets to the Grand Prairie Show, but gave them up when we found out our daughter was getting discharged. Abigail, Nate's sister, reached out. It was extremely nice. Nate's dad reached out to us, let us know he's praying for us other podcast listeners from the island page on facebook have been supportive as well so just a huge thank you for myself and my family we love what y'all are doing i just want to make sure y'all know how appreciative we are blake fitzsimmons that's the one that said he's not coming to show again ever you know yeah he said that two weeks ago so oh yeah that was before so he might change his mind completely uh that's awesome we are praying for you and that's great that they're getting out and

we'll get you to we'll see you at another show there's gonna be many shows and uh thank you very much for that yeah see that and that's what it's about if i get a little ranty if i get a little don't take it just don't try to take it too serious that's all i can ask is like don't i'm not you know maybe it is being you just tell me if i was like hey that was probably a little too mean just tell me i'll be like all right you're right probably i need to back it up uh the uh nateland facebook fan page they're throwing me a baby shower on Facebook, February 22nd. Whoa. Look at that. I think that's a Tuesday, 7 p.m. Central.

I'll have more details. I'll probably be mentioning this every week. Yeah. But that's how nice people are. I know. They're all nice. That's what we want it to be. Everybody's nice.

But I think we're all friends. So if I call you a cow. You called yourself a cow. I was the one going to the slaughter. Oh, yeah. Like, we're all cows. See, in my head, it's a joke. Like, it's just, like, in some of it, it's happening so quick.

And my vocabulary is not extensive, as we noticed. So I have to go to the basic, just say cow. And I picture it in my head, and it's all funny in my head. And then in the moment, I don't think like, hey, man, you just called another guy a cow and that he was about to get slaughtered. And then none of that clicks in that moment. I feel like the cow is positive. The slaughter is a little bit where you go, oh, I don't know.

Hey, there's always a line. The cow, I don't know how being called a cow is positive. I mean, they're pretty happy usually. Yeah, that's true. That's true. I bet they'd be difficult to travel with. Is that what you mean what I'm sorry. See, that was, that's not my fault.

That was Nick's fault for doing that. I wasn't talking about you. I was talking about me. I would be, I'm a cow that's ahead. I'll be the cow. This might be, I might have just ruined everything. All that we've had built up is gone John Whipple Nate

so encouraging to hear that you're creating a brand that will make it easy to identify clean non-political content your comedy is enjoyed by my whole family I love that

I got asked about that this weekend yeah hopefully I mean hopefully it goes might not go I think it'll go or do something

and keep going but it's that's the idea give you guys the nice Hopefully it goes. It might not go. I think it'll go. We'll do something. Keep going. But that's the idea. Give you guys the nice dadgum comedy y'all deserve. That's so funny that you broke that news. You do a 30-minute rant, and then we wrap it up by, oh, by the way, starting this cut. See, that's where I don't. I'm not perfect. Dude, I can be I don't, I'm not perfect. I can be the most hypocritical person on earth.

I can say one thing, and then in my head it can all make sense. I'm saying so much stuff, but I have no idea what I'm saying. Don't think I'm perfect. Don't think, I will never make sure that I make you feel terrible. I can assure you that that's the thing that hurts me the most is I don't want him to feel bad. I don't want someone to think that I'll never make it. I don't want your heart to be hurt. I don't want you to think I'm making fun. I would never be think, make you think I'm better than you. I'd like, I had, I don't have that in

my body to do that. The comedian in me can be hard and mean and blah, but it's like, I think sometimes you're like, well, I don't think any of this and I hope that comes off. So then that's why you can go super hard. Cause then you don't, you think, well, I'm not gonna, I would never do something, you know? Or like, you know, and I'll tell you, I pay for it. Like, as I'm not like, I'm not saying it to hold that over you. I would never hold that over. I would never in a million years. I know I'm saying it. I think I'm saying it to that. over you I would never hold that over I would never in a million years I know I'm saying it I think I'm saying it to that I'm in my head I'm like I'm doing I'm like at least I'm trying to show you that I'm doing something not like it's like you know and I think that's what I think like well if I tell you I'm doing this nice thing for you then I can tell you

I can make fun of you and that's what so that's probably the logic that I used in my head but it was wrong. You guys, and you guys let me know. Laura Emsweiler Watson. I'm not a doctor, but I do have some experience with ADHD and Nate's texture issue with paper. Napkins is a huge clue that he possibly has it. Nate should take one of those online quizzes for it on air. All right, why do that?

An ADH online quiz. I mean, look, I'm like, should be in a hospital. Yeah, it's really not his fault. I mean, I should, something's wrong. I can't even do anything, Nick. Do you tend to avoid or delay getting started on a new important task? I don't know if I do that. No, I wouldn't say that.

Yeah. I want to get it over with. I can't let it go when I know it should be done. That's another thing that I have to deal with. I have problems with that. You know, we got Abigail working here, my sister, and Laura. Like, I look at things like if I want to know an answer to something, I don't understand how the answer is not.

And then I can't let it go. And if like I'm not good with if I ask something and then instead of just thinking it gets solved, I need to be told it was solved. And it will be the dumbest thing ever. It won't be like getting a pool bill or something like it'll be did you add did you reach out to that person i mean some of them will be like if like if someone if a folk listen to this or like you're like did you did you reach them and get the tickets for them and like i can't let that go until i know for sure that they've been like talked to uh do you find yourself making careless mistakes when engaged in something you

feel is boring repetitive are difficult well that's that's a good one that's a good one i would say you just check out uh well i mean i you know i guess i i called you a cow, so that was probably careless. I don't know if I was bored. No. I don't think you were bored. I think that was directed. Yeah, I think you were very focused. Yeah, I think that was the most I've ever been on.

You were zeroed in, man. For sure. I don't know if I make the mistake, but I get bored a lot. But, I mean mean the whole thing's correct unless it's a mistake like i don't know how many but maybe i do make a mistake but i can get very bored i get very if i'm not if it's not up my alley i'm just like it and i'll just zone out i like don't you know pay attention yeah i don't think this is you man i'm just looking through the questions i don't think yeah so far it's not sounding like it well i don't, you know, pay attention. Yeah, I don't think this is you, man. I'm just looking through the questions. I don't think.

Yeah, so far, it's not sounding like it. Well, I don't get, like, I can get distracted, though. I can do it when someone's talking to me, then I can just be like, I'm gone. But you get distracted. Yeah, I definitely have some of this. A lot of this. Yeah.

Where you just zone out. I've never really thought you had a deep. I think you're distracted because you guys got a lot of this yeah where you just zone out i've never really thought you had a d i think you're distracted because you guys got a lot going on yeah i always thought i think that too but i don't know like why do i watch these movies and like they can't i can't focus on them i can't because you got a lot on your mind yeah that could be true uh greg cole i like that well i know lauren watson was not uh uh uh she's like i'm not a doctor we're like but i think she knows what she's talking about well the napkin thing's what she's yeah which apparently that's a sign that's a sign i might have a lunch i might be just kind of wrapped up a little bit everything everything. Like an everything bagel.

Greg Cole. Intern Cole got mixed up somehow. Utah has the youngest median age at 31.3, with Alaska having the second youngest median age at 35. Maine has the oldest median age at 45.0. People in Utah tend to have an entire van or SUV full of kids, which brings that median age down. So I fired Cole.

There you go. Cole ever. Guess what? His hats are going to be that he chooses his college. He'll be limited to one, apparently, because he's not smart enough. Dadgummit, Cole. Yeah, somebody said MTSU. Yeah.

Because I guess when he was on, I tried to get him to go to MTSU, and they said he may be going to MTSU after all. Yeah, somebody said MTSU. Yeah. Because I guess when he was on, I tried to get him to go to MTSU, and they said, he may be going to MTSU after all. Yeah, yeah. But no. Can you imagine us firing someone for making him a fake on the show? Yeah. Or anything, we gave him promotion. Yeah.

The funny thing about it is I think, so I read on Backwards, based on Cole's research, said Maine was the youngest, and I think I said Alaska was the oldest, and it's basically the other way around. I think you said, both of those, I think you said, yeah the oldest. And it's basically the other way around. I think you said both of those. I think you said, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. Which is just kind of funny because it was the exact opposite.

The exact opposite. Did you read it wrong or Cole got it wrong? Cole got it wrong. You would think Alaska would be the oldest. We're going to get rid of it. Yeah. You would think so. Yeah.

Yeah. It's cold. There's snow. You know, you got it. Well, that's why you and Cole are both fired right now. No, Cole does great. We have some duties in high school. He's going to school, trying to get into college.

Cole did great. Taylor Ruggles, about the dinner time in Spain, a lot of Spanish-speaking countries have late dinner times because it's custom to take a nap during the day so they work later into the night. You're living a Spanish lifestyle. I have a Spanish lifestyle. Yeah, I like that.

Move down there. There's a lot of evidence that our bodies are built to do that. Yeah. You know that feeling, that 2.30, 3 o'clock feeling? Yeah. Like that, we're probably supposed to take naps. I feel like you're doing a five-hour energy drink commercial. You know that 2.30 feeling?

Yeah. Well, it's like a – Siestas. Yeah, which our nap is – yeah, would be probably 4, 3, 4 p.m. 4 p.m. maybe 5. But I don't – you know what's funny? I go lay down. I don't take naps.

You always say, I don't ever take naps. I go in there, and I'm going don't take naps. You always sit down. I don't ever take naps. I go in there and I'm going to go take a nap. There's occasion, like the other day after we did, I was on Bob and Tom. Me and you both

were on Bob and Tom. And that, but that nap, one of my favorite naps is getting up to do morning radio. When you only get like three hours of sleep

and then you go do radio. It's borderline, not even a nap. It's going back to bed. But like, then you go eat and you're just so tired. And then it's during the day, and you're like, I can't wait to go back to sleep.

You don't like getting up early to do morning radio, but man, when you're done after that, that satisfaction of being, you worked, I did something this morning, and you go eat like a just whatever, worst breakfast. You can get pancakes whatever and then you it's like the most you feel me the most deserved like time to eat that like uh but you're a veteran that you know how to do this to where eat and then fall asleep i'm tired and i'm also drinking coffee at the same time i'm like i gotta stay up and then i'm like, I got to stay up. And then I'm like, oof. I had a little bit of coffee before Bob and Tom. And then I have a diet Coke at breakfast.

Diet Coke, sir. Then I go back to sleep. But I'm having trouble with coffee at night. I'm having a time my – I always like to have a – I get one before the show. And I think I got to have it at like 2 p.m. or something. I'm getting old enough finally. But you eat after the show, right? And you drink caffeine?

Yeah. That's the real problem. Probably. But the caffeine in the Diet Coke probably does nothing to you now. Yeah. You've built up a pretty high tolerance. Yes. I would think so.

Yeah, coffee's a different, that's in a different league. Yeah. Throw a couple Sour patch kids in there For you too Doesn't help Yeah All this stuff doesn't help I eat like a cow

Are we gonna do our weigh in? I should be taken off To slaughter I weighed myself yesterday I'm at 186 I'm nowhere But that's five pounds Better than

The last time you were I had shoes on and stuff I was like wearing my full outfit. But I mean, I'm a 186. So I was like, yeah, I did it literally yesterday. And I thought, well, I got to go 20 pounds. How are you doing, Brian? I've made slight progress.

Okay. But I had a five pound lead on it. So I thought I could coast until he catches me. Yeah. Well, you can still coast. But I'm getting close. Because I got to get, you know, look, I got to get in a better mood. I got to do a lot of stuff.

I'm fixing a lot of stuff. You have to just fix just your weight. So I won't be a cow. So you won't be a cow. Where are you? I stopped weighing myself. Oh, there you go. That's the answer.

Amy Jackson. When I was little, my grandmother told me that the devil was angry at God for the beauty in the sun, so he beat his wife, making her cry. Her tears were supposed to be the rain. All right. Sorry you had to deal with that, Amy. That's the child. It's the grandmother. Like, like yes maybe not go over there today that's funny next to your rant that probably got the most comments uh the devil beating his wife

yeah yeah a lot of people have heard that not just in mississippi and alabama oh yeah all over all over why did the rain come from the sky then is the devil's wife in the sky oh you think it'd be flooding be coming up yeah coming up for like when it's flooding yeah but that water comes from the sky but then the flood a volcano a volcano volcano would be yeah you're like well her tears are fire because she's down there. She's married to the devil. Jordan Garrett Lane. My grandparents called lunch, dinner. Once they invited me over for dinner, I didn't show up until 6.30 p.m.

I guess it's not my fault for not knowing my grandparents better. I guess it is his fault. I guess it is my fault. Yeah, it was his fault. Christina Barga. I couldn't help but notice that when we have another penguin situation on our hands, the way Nate and Brad Currams say bingles sounds like it's spelled bingles, B-I-N-G-L-E-S. I'd be curious to see what Aaron Lane has to say about this.

I would bet he pronounces it, how do you pronounce it? Bangles. Bangles. That's how you pronounce it bangles bangles that's how you say cincinnati bangles yeah since i actually sided with him in the penguin pronunciation i find it funny to hear it pronounced bingles as if it rhymes with pringles i know this whole comment sounds like a dr seuss book so my apologies in advance for making nate read this uh yeah, Cincinnati Bengals. Yeah, I've always said Bengals. I said Bengals.

What did you say? Bengals. So you say it like the band, the Bengals. I say it the way everybody I've ever met in my entire life says it. You know what I mean? Until now? Until now, yeah. I mean, does it bother you that most people don't say it that way?

Do you notice that? Are you aware of it? No, I think when you that most people don't say it that way? Do you notice that? Are you aware of it? No, I think when they all say it, like we say it. We're not around much people that can get into Notre Dame. I'll talk about on ESPN, they go, tonight's matchup, the Cincinnati Bengals. They don't say anything. What do you think?

I just follow them around and go, I think I'm saying it wrong. I think they're saying it wrong. Okay. Are you protected of the South or are you not protected of the South? Who are you defending here that's a good point i've never noticed it i never really the more we talk about it the more i'm thinking bangles like ben goals bengals cincinnati bengals now i'm saying um it's wrong in my head and i'm like i can't get it out cincinnati and he's from connecticut that's

espn territory yeah that is true We invented how to say it. Bengals. How do you say it? I say Bengals. Like the bangs on your hair. But like the band, the Bengals. That's a funny reference. I would like to say... But I mean, they spell it differently. Both ways. Bengals,

the way we say it is B-I. The way you say it is B-A. No one's saying B-Bengals. B-A. Mm-hmm. No one's saying B-Bangles. Bay. Bay. Bay. Bay. Bangles.

She nailed it, though. This is the exact argument we had about penguins. Yeah. Penguins. Penguins. Rachel Jones. My husband is from Morocco and says the Moroccan time fact is simply not true. He said that if you show up an hour late to meet a friend,

they would be angry. And if you show up a day late to a doctor's appointment, you would be laughed at. Please let the listeners know so they visit, they are not disappointed when they miss their dinner reservations and tour times. I'm glad we got that. I'll be honest with you, I'm a little let down.

I love the idea that you would just show up the next day, dude. I mean, to live in society, I mean, that would be a very frustrating society. I don't think I could probably handle it if they lived like that. I would end up apologizing every day. I would end up going into every doctor's office the next day and be like hello i'm neighbor gets the i'm sorry yesterday i got a little carried away uh it's like the reverse like vegas where anything happens anytime you know they have their own like you could just show up anytime and next i mean but i might my one of my favorite things would

have been in life would have been morocco just to show up the next day for your doctor's. And they're like, whatever, dude. That sounds exactly like Vegas, right? Yeah. It's the same thing. Same thing. I thought you said the opposite. No, well, it's the same, but it's like a step further.

Anything goes in Vegas. Anything goes any day in Morocco. You could just do whatever you want. There you go. Shelby Sheridan. Thanks could just, you know, do whatever you want. There you go. Uh, Shelby Sheridan. Thanks a lot, guys. I blame y'all for Amy's loss last night on Jeopardy,

January 26th, 22. Same day that Nate land air, she lost her 40 game streak. You guys jinxed her. That's true. Sorry, Amy.

That is true. Do you know what her total winnings were? I mean, did she break a million? Yeah, she broke a million. Yeah. That's second most wins. Wow. Well, that's good.

Yep. Being from New England and hearing Brian say we call a milkshake a frappy is driving me crazy. It's spelled frappe, but we pronounce it as frap. When he said frappy, I was losing my mind. Chris, you need to apologize to Brian right now.

It's the thing I learned, Chris. It's our fault. We're the ones being you, buddy. Sorry, Chris. Chris it's not it's our fault we're the ones being you buddy sorry chris chris clock colp chris colp in regards to yard sales my cousin kyla kayla kyla was going through a box of items only to be told that they were cleaning out their garage not having a yard sale she also thought her car was broken into because when she got inside there was stuff thrown about everywhere then she realized she was in someone else's car kyla sounds like your kind of girl oh that's funny yeah all right now i did it i didn't get

it at first like she just went up to someone's house yeah and just started going through their stuff in the garage oh that's great that's so. That's so funny. That's so funny. Have you ever come close to getting in the wrong car? Oh, I do it all the time. Yeah, I've sat in the wrong car and started adjusting the mirrors, and then I realized it's not my minivan. Yeah, yeah. I think I had a joke with it.

It's happened to me. I did a joke about it. John F. O'Donnell. I don't remember. I a joke with it. It's happened to me. I did a joke about it. John F. O'Donnell. I don't remember. I've talked about it. A comic. One day I was picking him up, and I watched him get in a car, and he was on the phone with me.

God, I think I told this joke on stage. I don't know if it's in a special, but it's – and I was on the phone, and I regretted like not saying uh because he goes this your car and like i just said i go no and i remember i should have been like how do you not that's what i think i got good at playing little pranks because i learned a lesson there to go like he was about to open a door get in and i have watched it. I could have listened to it. And I like, but just the heart, my good heart in me said no. And I beat that good heart down. And now I'm pretty mean. It's happened to me though, in Vegas,

where I've literally got into the wrong car. And then crashed in the parking garage. Can I crash this car? No, we ordered an Uber and I was with my buddy, Clint, who's also a little person. And he's got a scooter. And so I literally get into the car. I sit in, close the door. And I'm like, do you mind helping get my buddy's scooter in the trunk? And he was like, who are you? Why are you in my car? You get in and then also like giving the guy,

the guy's got to do a bunch of stuff. It weighs 60 pounds. I could get somebody else. I was literally like, I can have somebody else help me. He's like, what are you doing in my car? His buddy Clint's the best.

He is so fun. He's a fun time. He's a fun time. All right. You know, people are asking too, y'all, because y'all read some of the ads recently. Mm-hmm. And we were just mixing it up. Yeah.

I like doing it. Yeah. It was good. So we all do it. I know you guys, I know that's, you know, we read a lot of ads. So I know people don't, you know, it's like uh tell the boys make money and uh so yeah i pay for you to be on this podcast we're gonna read these ads brian bates class first class no but this is all stuff that we do use though like we're not i do try to i do

specifically i don't use keeps obviously but that's uh i think a good thing to use but we do i ate that meal before we went on the road yes yes uh wednesday yes we had the green chef and then we did athletic greens before and so it's i try i don't do stuff that we wouldn't use i don't talk space talk talk space you got to talk to someone i've had to talk to someone because apparently i get i did not apparently i'm uh mean so uh you know you got to deal with that and i have and you uh you know didn't work last week talk space Space pulled their ad. Yeah. It was a busy week for you? Yeah, I called Talk Space right after.

I accidentally missed last week. So then I got a call back in next week and go, whew, God's got out of control. I go, where were you? You wouldn't believe what happened last. I yelled at them. They go, I was traveling. I go, how'd you travel?

But they, yeah, but I try not to give you anything that we wouldn't use. I have said no to stuff. I honestly try to, you know, try to give you stuff that we would use. So this week, the reason Nick's here, we didn't want him, but. All right. Sorry. It just, it just jumps out. You know?

You know? Nick, so this week we're going to talk about award shows. We're back to the topics, too. And look at this. Oh, is this your? I thought there should be one winner at the table. Wow. This is Emmy.

This is a real Emmy. Wow. Yeah. Not as heavy as you think. It's not heavy. No, it is. I just want to say the opposite of everybody that says you got to be a little bit lighter than you think.

Look at that dust. I didn't realize there was dust on the bottom of it. 13th Annual Mid-South Regional Emmy Awards. Brian Bates, Newscast Daytime, News Channel 5, This Morning, WTVF. Do you give a speech? what do you what did you do what was your speech uh just it thank my co-workers and everyone who worked on it and i think i i thought how long you have here honestly i mean there's no set time they didn't play me off or anything but uh i think i made a joke this is 1999 um now they're more up to date they look

more like with the round bases just like the real enemies but uh i think i remember making a joke about because everyone was thinking their spouse and i didn't have a spouse so i made a joke about i don't know i guess i'll think my mom or something i don't know something like that that's pretty good that's pretty funny yeah so Did you pretend that you didn't expect to win? Everybody always does that. That's my biggest pet peeve. These award shows. I was like, oh my, I never could have.

You were nominated. Yeah. You had a shot. Yeah. I'm so stunned. Here's the speech in my pocket. Right. But you have to write the speech.

But even if you're nominated, I still think there's a a little like you're like i'm not gonna win though dude like i mean i think with my gram like you know you're like i'm not gonna win like it's like being nominated you know because it is i i think i think some of that's true i think i think a big part of it is feigning humility i think it's a big part of it but feigning humility. I think that's a big part of it. But you got to be, dude, if you got nominated for a Grammy and then you won, you would be like, dude, this is crazy. It's crazy. It's like, why am I, I can't believe I'm even here. I mean, I can't believe I'm even nominated.

I honestly, you don't think that's something that you're going to get to do. And, but then in like, you don't know, not that I know of, I don't, you don't, you find out in that moment. So if you win, there's gotta be like the fear of like, I gotta give this speech. I wrote this speech. I was like, I'm not going to read this speech. Like all the stuff that, that you would just then be like, I can't believe I'm even up here. Leonardo DiCaprio, when he won. You got to think, that guy has been, is like, yeah, should he think he's being nominated? Never won. If anybody that should have ever won, this guy hasn't won ever.

Yeah. And they just keep not getting it. And he keeps going, probably thinking, yeah, I'm going to win. Why would he not win? He's a great actor. He's doing all this stuff. Never wins.

They just don't give it to him. that dude's the darling of hollywood like that guy's like i'm doing the things what am i you know for some reason y'all don't want to give it to and this dude barely wins like at one and that video there's all that video in the when he's sitting there he's getting his they're they give him the trophy and they're making it and then he's like they're like you do ask him something he goes i don't know i've never done this and you're making it and then he's like, they're like, you do ask him something he goes, I don't know, I've never done this and you're like, that's the most famous person on one of the most famous people on earth for doing great movies

how did he not win in Titanic? like how did, like, you know what I mean? so I do think there's a I get what you mean but there has to be there has to be an element of like they can't believe like you just you know everybody doesn't think they're going to be the best like you don't think you're going to get to

maybe you're nominated and some people probably do some people have the ego to think that uh but then i think some other people i guess i get what you're saying imagine it depends if it comes off authentic or not yeah to aaron's point sometimes they've already won eight that night and then they'll get up there for their night i cannot believe this but i also think too that comics have a serious advantage that you're used to getting up there and just talking where a lot of actors are unbelievable but acting with the script that they work on for a while so in that moment it's crazy and you're you're not you're just saying you're saying whatever you think you're supposed to say and and it's like as a comic where you're like oh there's a bad thing that

happens somebody's there's a issue happening at a table in front of you and that's a weird you're you're more used to the craziness of on the fly situations. I like a comic. Yeah. But I think you're still just like kind of terrified and nervous and like, wow, all this, I've been working my whole life and this happened. So I get a little bit why people would blank, but I think it's so much more beneficial for a comic because in that moment you can say something funny or you've been there.

Yeah, I mean, you got to think you're not going to win this did you think you're going to win this this is the first time i ever been nominated i didn't know what to think no not really yeah it was i mean so long ago i don't even remember but uh yeah i mean i think it was one in five chance and at that time i was really like i don't even know what these it's not like um a singer or an actor where you know exactly who you're up against. I'm up against some TV station in North Carolina. I don't know what it is they did. Yeah. So I just thought, well, I got a 20% chance.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think about like with a grant. Like I don't know. You know, you sit there and think about it. Oh, I know for years. I've seen the other nominees. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it's not happening. Congratulations, Bo Burnham. Yeah. He's not nominated for. Oh, he's Critics' Choice? Yeah. Yeah. He is nominated for Grammy, but it's a different category.

And Bo's was unreal. But it's like, you know, you sit there and you're like, I don't know, dude. Why would I? Like, you do – I think – I'm just saying that – and I would maybe – I'd probably say this is crazy or something. And it's like you don't – but it's like, I don't know. You're like, I don't expect it because it's like it seems too surreal. Why would I get it? I can't believe I'm even – I can't even believe to be to that point

like you're like i'm just an idiot from here dude because this is a whole world you never thought you'd even be you're just you're doing comedy you're it's all about the jokes you're just trying to get ahead as a comedian i don't even know what you're searching for it's not like you're sitting there going i mean i had like i've talked about i have my goals and dreams and i want to do this stuff and i want to create this stuff. I want to start a Nate Land world and be able to do this stuff. There's a lot of drive. I know I have a lot of drive. I know I have a lot of like, which plays into my being upset or mean.

It's like I can get very, I'm in my drive and I want, I think everybody should be doing, I'm doing it. You should do it. We should all, I'm doing it you should do it we should all like you have this mindset of like just do it like I don't like you know but it seems insane it would be insane because it's like I'm you know it is you're just like dude we're just family from old hickory I think we're good people unless we're talking about Brian and then we're you know and you're just like – I don't know. You just say like it would be wild.

But it is wild that you're nominated and it's like you're there. I mean that is such an insane accomplishment. I mean I look at the nominees this year for you that everyone's insane. Dave Chappelle won the Grammy three straight years, 2018, 2019, 2020. Tiffany Haddish won it last year. All huge names. Last year, the Critics' Choice, the nominees, it was a tie. Did you know that?

I think. Seinfeld and Michelle Buteau. Oh, you already know that. Okay. Yeah. But then Fortune Feimster, Hannah Gadsby, Mark Maron, Pat Noswell. I mean, big, big, big names. Yeah.

And Seinfeld won last year. Now, you're up. Seinfeld won last year. Now you're up. You may win it this year. How crazy is that? It's crazy. I bet Bo. Bo's the nominator in that one. Yeah.

That's a Bo. But, I mean, everybody, yeah, that's the thing. Being nominated is the, and I would always, so you would tell you if you could one day, almost your goal would be just to be nominated. And you're like, just let me, at least you can be, you know, maybe that would be your top. So winning it, but.

Nate wins it. But I get it. I get what you're saying. Like when you're seeing them and you think, because you think like, yeah, dude, you're the most famous person ever. How do you not? But that person might not think that. Like they might be like, you know, it's like, I'd imagine they could be like i don't know dude i'm just like you know like

dinsel washington like i've become like kind of obsessed with him recently and there was a video uh he was on jimmy kimmel they actually showed it but he goes to like his old chicago neighborhood and he's talking to this old lady and i mean dude he's just like one of them like he's talking to this old lady. And, I mean, dude, he's just, like, one of them. Like, he's just, they're just hanging. He's like, you know, and it's the best. And, like, that guy probably knows by now he knows he's going to get nominated on everything just because he's been around for so long. So, like, I think he's just in the world so much.

But, like, that guy seems like a guy that's like just this best dude ever dude like he just seems like a guy that would never i think would be surprised that he's in the world that he's in and he you know and it could feel like crazy you know yeah he's one of the most nominated for for oscars people ever this makes me think of this clip which i love it's ben affleck and matt damon winning their first oscar for writing goodwill hunting and they're just young dudes and they are so over the top excited um i think at one point matt david's just like i mean it's crazy they're just young young let me look how pumped they are dude yeah but the adrenaline there though it's just it's just wild yeah i mean like that is like they're like i can't believe we won like you they probably can't believe they won yeah like they

can't believe they're right their whole year has been a whirlwind like so they're like that year of them doing goodwill hunting it's been just a world like it's been non-stop they they probably they didn't have time to even think about it it's like you're just they're they're just in it they're probably at that point everybody's asking them to do anything and everything and then they're like these two dudes just wrote this and then they're like hey by the way you're not in for an oscar and they're like you can't even wrap your head around that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then next thing, and then you're winning it. And you're like, that all probably happened within a year. Was just every day was something insane.

Every day was a call from something that you can't believe. So you don't even get to catch your breath. Like, you don't even get, like, to go, like. And you're trying to just stay in the moment, too. And you're trying to be stay in the moment too and you're trying to be like yeah man this is like you're trying to back yourself off and be like yeah this is crazy this isn't i can't believe this when i go to my shows i look at you look at the crowd you go i don't know who who's why are you here you just can't i mean you just look at it and you're like

this you know this weekend where every show and you're just going like who why are y'all here why would you come here y'all need to you're wasting your money like leanne's talking you're like and go wash their car and you just you just feel like that because you're like i'm not anything special man like and you're you know so i it's like that's all i would say not to diffuse point. I think there would be times I would be annoyed by it. Have you seen the video, Faith Hill at the CMAs where she faked outrage? That's also fun too. When you've been doing it so long that they have all the nominees up and then they announce Carrie Underwood and she's like,

and she storms off. And people thought it was real, but it clearly is a joke. She was just having fun. And that's fun too. That's fun too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's funny too. and she like storms off yeah and people thought it was real but it's clearly is a joke she's just having fun and that's fun too that's fun too yeah yeah yeah that's funny too yeah there's no way we're gonna play any of these videos well you don't have to yeah that was the gist of it uh yeah yeah uh award shows are good like uh they need award shows were great they were great like i feel like they've they've they're still there like like i feel like they've they've they're still there like they uh feel like they've dropped off they got to get back to being the fun that they

were i mean because it was it was award shows were very fun they were fun to watch they were fun to do it was it was a good time how much of you of that do you think is the award shows changing versus just you changing and you look at them differently now i think the award shows change i mean i think it was uh you know it's like a big part of it too is like the movies like you look at the oscars like they're nominated movies that you're like i don't know who i don't i've never heard of these movies because they're making it's all marvel star wars it's all these kind of movies and then the ones that are nominated for Oscars, like don't get, no one even knows about them.

Like you're, you know, like the one with Leonardo, Revenant, or is that what it's called? The Revenant. Yeah. So like that one was like a big one because it's got Leonardo DiCaprio in it. Like it's got some big actors in it, but some of these other ones that are winning,

you're like, I don't know what that is. Parasite, when it won, I heard that's great or something. But I never saw Parasite. I don't know where I would have gone. If you're living, was it on the movie theaters? You go to Opry Mills. I think I watched it on Amazon Prime. Yeah, it's like you're not going to, but I mean, most people are like, I'm going to Opry

Mills to watch a movie or Opryland. They don't have Parasite. They don have like it's it's all kind of like they're almost making movies for people right like they're making for like the america is like or you know the world but they're like here's all the regular people y'all go watch these movies and then these are the movies that are like so it's almost getting like wine tasting like it's getting too specific that you're like people like i don't even know i've never heard of one of these movies so like i don't like i would i don't know if i i'm not really invested in it right but when i would go before you'd be like we saw goodwill on you everybody saw all

these movies and that elevated the award shows. The ratings show, I mean, 2021, which weird year because of COVID, 9.8 million Americans watched last year's Academy Awards. In 2014, it was 40 million. So that's a huge drop off in just a short amount of time. 40 million. Yeah, I mean, they're huge. I mean.

Those are almost mash. What's the most ever? I don't know, but the ratings for the Academy Awards last year was 1.9. The year before, it was 5.3. Wow. Which, that's a huge drop just in one year. 1.9 means that 1.9% of adults watched it.

They're all dropping to some degree. The Emmys hit the all-time low in 2020. Its peak was early 90s and early 2000s.

I can move that. So that was your heyday. You go, the Emmys dropped and I just moved this in front of you. What? You go, the Emmys dropped, and I just moved this. What were they in 1999? They were huge. This is the Mid-South Emmy Awards, by the way.

Oh, yeah? It was on TV, though. It was on PBS. Local PBS. Well, you know, this year's Grammys, they may have a nice bump, you know? Mr. Bregazzi nominated. That's true. I know one guy that won't be watching.

Yeah. The guy earlier. If Nate wins, he's going to be like, all right, first things first. I just want to apologize for calling Brian a cow. I might bring him back up if I win. I'll be honest with you. I finally got rid of that guy. Brian's been just holding me back, draining me.

Amazing what he can do when he cut the dead weight out of your life. And I think everybody knows exactly who I'm talking about. Put the picture on the screen behind you. Yeah, if he wins, it's all bets off. Speaking of pictures, can we talk about this, man? Can we talk about who is sitting next to me right now? Someone. So Nick Nov no Vicky.

People might not know. The Golden Globes, a lot of people protested this year, didn't show up. Nick does not care about any of that. Can I read something? He supports them full time. Variety Magazine, this is from January 2nd, January 4th. There will be no

celebrity presenters this year at the Golden Club Award. Variety has obtained a copy of an email where talent bookers sent several publicity agencies, and they were able to secure no talent clients for the show. So we're just going to say no celebs have agreed to take part. Go ahead, Nick. That's when my time to shine comes. Yeah, baby, yeah.

Everyone out, you know, a lot of fallouts, and then boom. Now it's my opportunity. So they did it. This was a very cool thing, though, Nick. It doesn't take away all the – But that doesn't even matter. No. Like this is – the Golden Globes, it was very cool that you got to do this.

So this is by far the craziest phone call I ever get in my life. cool that you got to do so so this is by far the craziest phone call i ever get in my life i get a phone call the friday before the sunday golden globes and there was a presenter for two awards the best actor and best supporting actor two of the biggest awards got covid and they asked me like in the literally 23rd hour they they've already got rehearsals, all this stuff. We want you to present these awards. You know, Hollywood Foreign Press, they support the Easterseals Disability Film Challenge with a grant. They asked me last minute because of this fallout. And it is just the craziest call I ever get in my life.

You got rehearsals tomorrow. I'm like, what? They're like, we're going to send you the script. There's two scripts. Don't worry. We got teleprompter. So don't worry about it. Now let's cut to the last time I was on and we had a lot of people reaching out. The folks have still been reaching out about my eye problem. I have keratosis. I don't know how many eye doctors and people with eye problems are fans of this show, but I have received 50 emails of people supporting me.

And a lot of people they're saying, look, it is a big deal, but don't worry about it. You only really need to do something if it affects your life. Okay. If your, your vision affects your life now i accept this

thing and i can't read teleprompter because my eye so the most important call i ever get in my life and i cannot read yeah so i'm like well i'll be at the beverly hilton tomorrow for the rehearsal and i got these giant scripts and i'm starting to kind of memorize now this is a tuxedo event too and I have two tuxedos that I got from different shoots but I brought one of the tuxedos with me to New York so now I'm running around I don't have a tuxedo shirt I don't have a tuxedo tie I'm trying to memorize and I'm like oh I get to the rehearsal well you brought it to New York yeah I brought I was doing something else and so I brought like the wrong pants and the wrong shirt with me so now I got the wrong I've gotten this is in New York no no this is in LA but I'm

I'm I have to get on that Saturday morning the correct matching of a tuxedo I don't even have this and I'm I'm trying to memorize and I get up to the rehearsal and I I show up and everybody is doing one take and it's going great. People do teleprompter all the time. Everybody that's presenting and it gets to me. And right before I go up, I go, you know, hey, guys, I got really bad vision. So I just want to don't worry about it.

Everyone, you know, it's huge font. You're going to see it. And there's five cameras. They it wasn't televised on NBC NBC but they still shot it this exact same way same location same cameras and so I get up there and I just can't see I am like I'm in that moment where you're just like oh I should have listened to the folks yeah and I'm now trying to see and I kind of have some memorized and I kind of can see certain things and I'm just making up other things that have nothing to do with it. I'm like, yeah. And they

did come with the car and they're like, what are you talking about? They came with the car. I mean, I am just saying, and so I get through it and everybody else is one take. Great. And I get, I get through on the side and the guy who was the stage manager goes, you might want to stay here. I have a feeling we're going to do this again. Oh, man. Because in your head, you're like, maybe it's not as bad as I thought it's going. And then the guy's like, yeah, just stay here. I think we're doing it again.

And we don't do it again. And the stage manager, everybody goes, look, I understand you couldn't see it. Don't worry. We actually had betty white as a presenter two years ago so we created a betty white font for the teleprompter and so we're going to give you that and i'm like how great i am literally using the font of a 98 year old woman yeah yeah so i'm still like the writers are like look we don't have time to actually do it again with this betty white font

so you should just memorize it so now i stay up all night memorizing these two speeches really tough names including one of the nominees was denzel washington actually and i'm i'm memorizing the speeches and you know you're just you're just in that moment you're like oh man i i hope this goes good yeah you're praying you you really just want it to go good and i show up for the actual awards right before it a writer comes up to me and goes hey just want to let you know we changed the script don't worry it's on the teleprompter and i'm like but i can't read the teleprompter and so i i go up and what did you say to him before you go oh that's cool i mean i I mean, I just was like, I don't know if I'm going to be able to read it. He goes, and they just walk away.

It's like everybody's got different jobs. They're doing what they're told to do. It's like the army when you're on a production. So they're like, this is the script. Don't worry, you're going to read it. And I'm like, but I can't. And he's already gone. They're in television producing mode.

he's already gone. You know, they're, they're in, they're in television, like producing mode, you know? And so I, I get up there and I actually could read,

you know, parts of the Betty White font. And it's just really huge. It's just humongous. It's like one word at a time. Usually it's like four sentences on the thing. It's like one word. And I have things memorized.

And luckily, like I was able to kind of improv a little and bring energy. And it was one of those magical things where it really went great. Yeah. And I knew in the moment where I was like, wow, everything is landing. I'm throwing little jokes. I presented an award to Will Smith. And I'm like, I'm to Will Smith.

I'm like crazy. Everybody else is that regular energy. And I'm like, I want to learn how to play tennis because of this movie. You know what I'm like, it's Will Smith! I'm like crazy. Everybody else is that regular energy. And I'm like, I want to learn how to play tennis because of this movie. You know what I'm saying? I'm like doing crowd work and it's like, it was a really magical moment. And I get off stage and the director was like, wow, that was really great. And I gotta be

honest, yesterday I did not think this was gonna go very good. And I gotta thank my guardian angel, Betty White, because it was like that moment where you're like, thank God she was 98 years old and here two years ago. Well, that's like the famous John Travolta when he mispronounced, was it Idina Menzel?

And says it's something like you would say it. Yeah. But he said afterwards, they changed it last something like you would say it. Yeah. Kind of. But he said afterwards, they changed it last minute to make it phonetic. Is that the right word? Yeah. Phonetic. And so he was,

he just tried to read it how she said it. And that's how they totally messed him up. Well, it just was, I had never honestly read teleprompter too. So when I was in the rehearsal trying to read it and I can't read it, I just started going on complete different talking points. And they were like, what are you even talking about?

This isn't even in the script. And De Niro actually did something like that. So I could hear a crew guy going, I think he's pulling a De Niro. Oh, yeah. Did you do, I like that you said, I want to play tennis because of this movie. Yeah. So Will Smith won? Will Smith won.

So I present. And when I saw it was Will Smith. First of all, some of the nominees have very difficult names. Yeah. And I was having a hard time pronouncing certain names. And Will Smith was one of those names. And I was like, I hope to God it is Will Smith. Yeah.

Because I'm a fan and it's the easiest name to say and I'm not going to mess it up. Yeah. And when I saw it, I just was also just like knowing that I got through everything I had to get through and it went good. Yeah. Instead of like, it was new things and, you know, and it went good. And I saw Will Smith and I was like, it's will smith you know king richard and then after i was like you know and i always wanted to learn how to play tennis you know this movie made me want i

just start going into this thing and everybody's like i'm bored with me and and everybody else's energy is just like because i'm the only comic you know that's or you know people that really talk a lot you know even actors they're generally not like they will say lines. But I was at now a 12. I was so fired up. Nick's the first presenter to get the wrap-up music. Get him off. It was that moment where you just had the adrenaline

and just felt so happy. Because there was a time earlier that day where I was like, I think I'm going to quit show business. I'm thinking you just start to get down that alley where you're like everything's going wrong I can't see it and I'm trying to memorize but it's like a lot of stuff and you're memorizing it within it not even a day yeah and then literally within the hour before they completely change everything that's you've been memorizing yeah it's funny why would they change the script? They do that all the time.

Everything like that happens. And so you got to be like, you know, it happens. Luckily, I have that experience from TV, working on TV, and they change stuff too. Yeah. And you got to still do it. So, I mean, I was very honored that I got that opportunity. And having been in the business for 20 years, it's like, if I didn't have a ton of experience,

it could have gone so bad. Yeah, yeah. And I literally called Nate when I got this opportunity, like an hour after. And I was like, look, part of me, I'm like, this is an amazing opportunity. Probably the most exciting phone call I've ever got. And if it goes great, it is an amazing thing that I'll have for the rest of my life that no one could take away. But if it goes bad, I'll amazing thing that i'll have for the rest of my life that no one could take away yeah but if it goes bad i'll be able to go on the nateland podcast

and talk about all this vision advice that i didn't listen to were there any recipients there no so just announce it and you were it was it was like uh you know all different organizations that get funding from the Hollywood Foreign Press gives out a ton of grants and they give out a grant to the Easter Seals Disability Film Challenge, which we just opened up registration. It's happening this year, April 5th to April 10th. You make a film that has somebody with a disability in front of her behind the camera. This year's genre is superhero. Go to disabilityfilmchallenge.com to learn more but everybody that was a presenter was a recipient of a grant or involved in non-profit you know and

it was it was a year about showing all the great work that the hollywood foreign press does and so there there wasn't really anybody that was there was was like Jamie Lee Curtis and Schwarzenegger, but they also, you know, did videos. So it was really more about the Hollywood Foreign Press and organizations they support. So I also had that advantage too, to where a lot of these people do great work, but they also are not used to talking in front of people.

Now they are used to reading teleprompter. So I was like, ah. not used to talking in front of people right now they are used to reading teleprompter did you open the envelope before yes it was it was exactly as you would see literally the exact same location it's in the the hilton which i used to stay all the time i would swim in the pool whenever nate would be in town yeah and and the same exact thing you give the speech and then you go and the nominees and then you open up this like golden envelope and it has the name and that's like to see will smith's name too and read that and i mean it's it's just it's surreal they have all the golden globes right there the nominees were denzel Washington, Will Smith. Yeah, Benedict Cumberbatch, Javier Bardem. That was Javier Bardem. That was in the rehearsal script that I was in.

And I kept saying Javier Bardem. Bardem, I was saying it wrong. My wife was like, it's them, like Democrat, Javier Bardem. Bardem. When you open the envelope, does it say anything besides Will Smith, King Richard? No. My buddy read the wrong winner on the Mid-South Emmy Award. My buddy Ben, the same one who got nominated twice and lost both.

Yeah. If anybody remembers that story, that's, I don't know. My buddy, we've talked a few times. He was nominated twice in the same category. There was four nominees. He was two of the four. They announced, we have a tie. He was nominated twice in the same category. There was four nominees. He was two of the four. They announced, we have a tie. He was neither of the winners.

I mean, how great. I love that. That's unreal. It's the odds of that. I think it's, what are the odds of you getting nominated twice in a category and the other two people taught and that's if they yeah golly he also was a presenter once and uh it was for best live broadcast or something like that so the mid-south emmy awards it's kind of weird they were nominated from for last year's show so when he opens up the envelope to read the winner they didn't win but then but it said in

there it still had their title at the top of the page does that make sense and so he just read he thought they won so he read their name and then everyone just froze they didn't play the clip they didn't play whatever and then the real winner just came up and accepted. Oh, did they know? Everybody knew it was wrong? Well, the production people know the winner because they have to know. So they played like, you know, once they announced the winner, they play the clip of what they did. And then those people, the real winner saw it and then they came on up there.

But he actually announced the wrong winner. And so then he just turned and looked at the screen and they didn't start it. And he goes, oh, yeah. And that's the big thing. What's the other one? The Warren Beatty? Yeah, that's the biggest. The best picture at the Academy Awards.

Well, now after this process, though, because you have a whole other day of rehearsal the day before. Same location, all the cameras. And they give you a different name. And I thought, I was was like i think they just told me who won the golden globes like you know and it was it's a it's a dummy but i think they give you that the harder names on the rehearsal so they're like hey you better know all these names so if you wanted to find out if you win or not just go to the rehearsal and if you hear your name you're guaranteed you didn't win well maybe actually

i think some of the people were winners oh yeah they just gave me the tough names they're like he's having a hard time reading regular we better give him better throw my herschel ali at him the oscar when they give it to you it's already engraved with your name yeah but the grammy is not that's just a fake one that you use for pictures, and then they mail you the real one later. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because they don't want anyone to know. Oh, that's crazy.

The Oscars, they already have it. They already have it, so it's got your name on it when they give it to you. Wow. If you win a Grammy, are you going to put it in here? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Put it somewhere right here. Yeah, we'll find find a spot

for it he'll break this on air yeah I looked up why they're called I forgot to look up Tony I don't know why

Tony's called Tony and Oscar's called an Oscar because the one of the women who worked there said it kind of looked like

the statue looked like her uncle Oscar. Oh. So that's why they call it that. That's all it took, huh? Yeah, that's so funny to me. This big kind of Academy Award is like this big name. And Oscar is a good, the Oscars is, it's a great name.

Yeah. But it's funny that it all just starts with like, it almost like you would take the awards, it makes them not seem as serious. If someone, like if you won an oscar and then you're looking at it and just someone just came up to you and said you know it's called an oscar because this lady like look like it looked like her uncle and then he just walked away you would be like i don't know it's not even impressive anymore yeah grammy's got a grammy because it's short for gramophone because that's what the image is.

Emmy is, it was. Immophone? It's close, actually. It was originally I-M-M-M-Y, which is a TV, a piece of TV equipment. And they said, well, let's soften it

and call it Emmy, like a girl's name. So that's why it's called that. I-M-M-Y is a TV? It says it's short for for image orthicon tube which which that isn't spell emmy but yeah uh but then they said let's feminize it and call it emmy with an e yeah all right and tony i forgot to look yeah it's so crazy too, though, the, the adrenaline after the show, because it's live, it's all these things, they have to be, there's no mistakes. It's all, it's, it's all shot to air.

So when, when it's done, everybody's in this just crazy, exciting kind of moment. And I actually worked too behind the scenes for the Emmys a while ago, I was like producing a segment and i was at this party which is called the governor's ball and this was still a big accomplishment i'm working behind the scenes and this lady who was a governor she's high up in the emmys comes up to me and she said you know i just want to tell you we have a lot of plans for you we really think you have a huge future with us and i was like oh my god she loves what i'm doing with this behind the scenes stuff and then it dawns on me that she thinks i'm peter dinklage i was about to say she thought you're peter dinklage yeah she did she had a lot of big plans yeah but it like i was i went from being like so honored and like oh my god

that's the nicest thing I've ever heard. And then to being like, that's the funniest thing I ever heard. And I'm laughing in real time a little bit, trying to be like, you know. Yeah. Have you ever attended any of the award shows just as an audience? No. Yeah. No, not like this.

Are you a member? You always answer it like you're about to say yes. Like, is there a story coming behind? Did you notice it? Yeah, he goes. No. Yeah. I almost did.

I got a lot of almosts, right? Because I'll get a lot of like, hey, we may have a ticket for you, or just come, and I'll be hanging out, and I go to the parties after, but never made it in. Is that, I mean, you're, he does it a lot too. Like he goes, no, no. He's like, you think like I was going to get a little story out of it. No, no, no.

Yeah, I went to the, we went to the after party. For what? The Grand, Grand. Golden Globes. Was it Golden Globes? Yeah, didn't you go with Jimmy Fallon? Yeah, but I Was it Golden Globes? Yeah. Didn't you go with Jimmy Fallon? Yeah.

But I thought it was, maybe it was Emmys or Grammys. No, because it was NBC. Oh. Oh, yeah. So I guess it was Golden Globes. And then we went to the, when I first was working with Fallon, we were going to write a show, and we wrote that show together. We went, and me and Laura, have we talked about this i don't know like uh me and laura went uh and i got invited to it was like the first kind of crazy thing to be like they were like

you want to come to the after party to the uh you know to their after party we found tonight shows after party and And so we were like, yeah, yeah, it's crazy. And he was like, oh my gosh, this was like the first kind of like

Hollywood-y thing to be like, oh man, who's going to be there and all this kind of stuff. And so, and then we go and I went and bought a tux, or I bought a suit

like the day before. Like, we found out very late I had to buy a suit. Just, you know, I didn't know what you were supposed to wear and all this kind of stuff. We went in and everybody's there. I remember seeing Nicole Kidman.

Who's she? Chris Martin? No. No, I know. Gwyneth Paltrow. Gwyneth Paltrow. Yeah, Nicole Kidman. I know Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman they live here in Nashville

I don't know but but like we saw them and like did you say like Bill Maher was there yeah Bill Maher was there Eric Stonestreet who I've become friends with but he was there Spade David Spade who I didn't really know

Spade at that point I've met him a few times and i just said what's up to him real quick uh and then like yeah but it was just like we were just me and laura just look around it was like just crazy it's just like it's like an office party but it's everybody's faint you know fat like everybody's famous yeah and you're just sitting there and you're like good night and this is you, now you dress a little more fancier. And this is like Nate with the Cumberland t-shirt. Oh, yeah. Very loose suit, Nate. We had a fun overdressed up event, you know.

Did we talk about when we went for the Christmas party? Yeah. So when he was on Boardwalk, when Nick was on Boardwalk Empire, the Christmas party. Yeah. So when he was on boardwalk, when Nick was on boardwalk empire, he got invited to the Christmas party for the cast.

Yeah. And he could bring a plus one. And I'm staying with Nate and Laura. Yeah. He's staying at our house. So it was plus one was me. So he's like, you want to come?

I can bring some. And I was like, all right. Yeah. So I'll go. So me and Nick go, it's at a, again,

and this is, I mean, Nick's been around these people but like i've never been around any of these people like i don't know you know it's like you're just kind of like nervous to be like all these like celebrities are going to be there and these famous these actors and so nick uh he gets he goes look you gotta dress up this is like a real nice place right and i was like all right so like i don't have clothes to dress up so i put on uh okay it doesn't even look like i know uh and so i put uh uh i wear like i there's a picture of this somewhere but there i wear like a blue shirt blue button-down shirt and khaki pants and then nick's got like a suit on or something and so that's like the only thing i had nice but it was like it was a scramble too you didn't even like have us oh i do have

khakis you tuck them in in a certain way yeah i tucked them in yeah i'm just look so we go and we get there and the dressed up is like it's just like uh dress cool Like dress – you know, it's not like – I look like a waiter. Like I just look like a server, like Michael Scott. Like I'm wearing – I mean, I just look like a server. And so I just go in there, and I'm like, Nick, everybody's like dressed – like you could have just wore something cool. And I'm like, gosh. And then Nick's got a suit on.

He looks – like you could wear a suit. You could wear, you know, just, you could wear a hoodie with a jacket on it. Like, that looked kind of stylish. But, so we're going down there. So Nick gets there, and he's like, Nick's like, I'm going to go make the rounds. And I'm like, well, I'll just sit up at the bar. Like, I don't know anybody. He's like, Steve Buscemi's there.

Like, we talked to him. That dude's the best. He's like the nicest dude you could ever meet in life uh the guys that all on the boardwalk and probably the guys that played Al or played Al Capone or whoever I mean he played Al Capone in something else uh but he's that dude like it was like his first thing and so like some of those guys it was cool to get to meet them because you could just see like they can't believe that they were here you just went up and talked to them and they they were like, oh, yeah, man. I remember we just all talked, and they were just so – it was, like, just a very kind of awesome night.

And so Nick's walking around. He's got a glass of wine. So Nick's got a glass of wine, and he's like, I'm going to go make my rounds. So I just sit at the bar, like, alone. I'm just minding my own business, trying to stay out of the way. And then Nick comes back, and nick's had a few to drink and but his wine glass is like the same that it's been i'm like nick i go you're getting drunk dude i go you don't need to i go why i go you have you even drank this wine it's still full he goes out they just keep filling it up so like nick holds

it here and he doesn't even know. But they have people walk around just pouring wine into it. And where Nick's holding it is just perfectly that. It just looks like he always wants more. So these servers are just walking around, and they're just constantly. So every sip he takes, it looks like he hasn't drank it. Plus, this is like he hasn't drank it. Plus, this is like, I've never been to something like this either.

This is the first season, a couple months into filming, first season, and I've never been invited to anything like this. So I have no idea. I'm like, Nate, you need to wear a tuxedo. You know, like I have no idea what we're supposed to be in. And we're going to eat. And I go, no, no, no. They got an amazing spread of food. And we show up and there is no food.

So we haven't eaten all day. And I honestly don't think I've drank at all because I keep looking and I'm in conversation at this wine. Yeah. And yeah. You caught up in the moment. It was caught up in the moment. Yeah. And I don't even think it was five minutes.

Like it was literally such a short period of time when I left you and came back. Why when we walked in, you left me? And then I, but I knew, I get it. Like, I knew it. Like, it's like, let me go make my rounds. You don't want to walk around and be like, yo, this is my buddy. Like, you know, so I was like, I'll just stay over here. Go like, just mingle.

And like, you know, and, and then, but we talked to Steve Buscemi. Like we talked, he was, he's a, he was a big comedy fan. Like he didn't know us, but he was very interested in comedy and all that kind of stuff. He knew Nick, obviously. And then the best was, like, we had this one guy, so Big Jay Oakerson. Everybody knows what he looks like, but Big Jay. So there was a guy.

So one thing I like to do with Nick is if I see someone that looks like it's someone we know, I will tell Nick that that's him, and I just hope Nick goes and talks to him. So there's a guy that kind of looks like Jayay and i go dude big jay's here now there's this is invite only there's no way for big jay to ever be invited to this thing and uh so i go big jay's here and nick looks at him he goes are you kidding nick's had enough to drink he goes are you kidding me? Nick walks over and just hits the guy in the leg. Just punches this guy.

And then he looks up and he's like, can see it's not Jay. So he just immediately just, he hits him and looks up and goes, hey, man. Hey, so what's your name again, man? I was like, it's great to see you again. Great to see you, man. What was your name again? Yeah, yeah. The dude's like, what is happening? Because he wasn't facing us either.

And the guy, in fairness, Big Jay at that time would have his long hair. He's a big guy. He had a long hair, a big guy. It was a chain he had around for his wallet. It was a perfect Big Jay. It was perfect and not facing. So when I see him, and I'm just everything. Again, the adrenaline of all this.

This is just brand new. It's exciting. And I don't know how much wine I've had, but it was enough to where I just see him and i'm just everything you're again the adrenaline of all this this is just brand new it's like exciting and there wasn't i don't know how much wine i've had but it was enough to where i just see him and i go hey and i just hit clock him the guy just goes and he just turns around i mean hey what's your name again did you know him at all no i mean there's like there's a hundred people on the yeah yeah yeah yeah it's no one knows yeah it's he it was just the the way you go hey and the guy's like hey and you're just like hey uh what's your name again you know and oh man it was the best uh the other one with jay i told you remember i told you that he tried out for the

jets and didn't make it yeah i told him i believe him this was uh this i don't he wouldn't believe i don't know if he would believe that now but this was and i jay's like outside the comedy cellar and jay smoked cigarettes jay smoking a cigarette with fingerless gloves on and i go hey just i don't even know how we got into it but it just kind of came up and i said hey uh jay tried out uh he walked on the New York Jets. Yeah, but you were like, too. You were like, he made the practice squad. I made the practice squad.

As a tight end. But they just cut him. But here's the thing, too. Nate is so good at these things with me, and this is going back years. So he actually had other people in on this before I knew again. I told Jay. He told Jay and somebody somebody else so he's like he made the you know and it was like he made the practice team yeah so it wasn't like he's in the

game and i was like wow that's cool and then i walk away and somebody else is like yeah don't talk to jay about the jets yeah and i was like so everybody this is a big deal here so i see him i go hey man sorry about that getting cut he He's like, what are you talking about? That was a fun one. I mean, Jake's smoking a cigarette. Like, that guy's going to go make me an NFL. He's like, he says he smokes a cigarette. He's like, I don't know what happened.

I just couldn't, you know. You know how good you would have to be to make the practice squad and you're an active smoker? You would be one of the best athletes of all time. And he hasn't played football in probably 20 years, but I think he's just made it. When was this?

Oh, I mean 2005, 2006, something like that. I think it was probably less than 10 years ago, honestly. No, it was a long time. It was enough to where he also was- You were living in New York. So much older. I swear, this was like, you know- No, no, you were living in New York.

So I moved there in 04. So we met in 04. You've been gone almost 10 years. Yeah, I've been gone. When did you move to LA? I mean, I moved when you moved in with Laura. Yeah, so 06. So it was 2004,

2006. Cause you were living there. Unless you came back. I think it was, I was coming back. Cause you would come back and always stay with me. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know. It does. I don't think it really matters. A lot of people are like, well, let's get it down. What are we looking at? But Jay used to have long hair.

Now it's cut short. But yeah. Do you know anyone who's ever been a seat filler? No. No. No. I don't. A seat filler? No.

Somebody actually told me once, this is going back almost 20 years ago, that the David Letterman show, I wouldn't be able to be there because I'm too distracting in the audience. Just in general like too distracting to sit in an audience because they would think i'd be part of a bit or sketch i just want to watch the show they were like you can't because then we're gonna have to pay you i was like i want to i want to pay to watch this yeah yeah is like early 2000s. But I was so stunned. It wasn't like a kid. It was like an official person with a clipboard. You'd be too distracted.

That's great. I don't think they could say that now. You can't. You can't. It should have been back then. Can you imagine now? I don't know. It's just too much. It'd be too much. We couldn't I don't know. Yeah. Can you imagine now? I don't know. It's just too much.

It'd be too much. We couldn't even, you know. That's too funny. That's incredible. Do you know a sea filler? Just Kramer. Yeah. Well, that's a great one.

Hey, they catch us on camera. They're going to have some explaining to do. Hey The kitchen's on camera They got some explaining to do The 2009 CMA Music Awards Taylor Swift sang her song 15 Yeah Where I was

Kind of a seat for They wanted just a bunch of like High school college age kids Yeah In the background You can actually see me At one point here She's singing

This is like a little pit area On the back corner of it And then there I am right there Where? Right there in the middle hanging out dude yeah you're the only one not swinging your hands i didn't know the song that well at this point every single person has their hands up except aaron you can't just move your hands yeah i'm just hanging out yeah i'm having a good time yeah looking around you're that you're

that guy i believe he's the only guy too there's like 25 women around him yeah you're around a bunch of pretty girls you don't have a good time you're trying to act cool yeah he was trying to do a little bit of that probably a mix of that yeah i didn't i didn't know the song that well yeah i remember you look at the camera and you're like i don't know the song that's how cool you act like you go where you the camera hits you like i don't listen to song that I did. That's how cool you act. The camera hits you, you're like, I don't listen to this type of music. I listen to more like Nine Inch Nails and stuff. And it's the whole Taylor Swift video.

It's just you trying to act like, I'm not a Taylor Swift. This is like a girl thing. I'm more of like, I'm a Weezer guy. So, you know, just, I don't know. Were you trying to sing along? It looked like you were moving your mouth a little bit. They told everybody, please sing along.

But I didn't know, I know the song very well now, but I didn't know it. What song was it? Fifteen by Taylor Swift. I've been rolling with it. So you were just like. I mean, look how everybody's so into it. Yeah. And you were just mouthing kind of like pretend.

I didn't know the camera was on me at that point yeah see these these are the girls i went to high school with right here you know them yeah i know them melissa and samantha and that i'm just in the mix man i remember that was a very fun and how and did you did you get it though like because you knew her brother like so yeah she told her brother like just bring a big group of kids from your high school out and you can be in this area yeah so i was i was just one of them oh yeah that's super cool wait where yeah and she went to she went to hendersonville high school oh yeah yeah she went to hendersonville and there's a hhs loves taylor i didn't see that that's oh yeah and then uh and and you're and then you went

to uh it's only got 2600 views views. It's our least viewed video. Aaron's the one who posted it. Yeah, this is the only video they were like, no, you can definitely show this one. It's remarkable that this, Taylor Swift live. How does it only have 2,600 views? Oh, this is posted by just some unofficial fan channel. Swifty. Oh, that is.

Taylor Swift featuring Aaron Weber. It's on his website some unofficial fan channel. Swifty. Oh, that is. Taylor Swift featuring Aaron Weber. It's on his website. It's a credit. I get brought up on stage. And her brother went to your high school. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

JP2 in Hendersonville. Yeah. And you went on vacations with her family, though. One. It wasn't a regular thing, but I went on one with my senior year. Yeah. High school. Pretty fun. I had I went on one with her my senior year. Yeah. High school.

Pretty fun. I had forgotten about this until we were talking about that that happened. Did y'all ever, like, vacation? Did you ever just, would y'all ever, you and her, be, like, alone and, like, you have just, like, an awkward conversation and you're, like, whatever? Because you're there with her brother, you know? Like, so you're, I mean, she's Taylor Swift at this point. And so, like, just, like, you know, like, so just like y'all are in the lobby waiting to go on a tour or something,

and you're like, what's up? Hey, you going to – man, school's been kind of crazy. You just trying to talk about your normal stuff. A couple times, man. I remember I was at their house watching the Notre Dame-Stanford game, and it was like a great game, and it was down to the fourth quarter, and she came home and was like, can somebody help me with groceries? And I'm just like, yeah, right.

I just forgot about the game immediately. Yeah. And it's just like me and her getting grocery bags out of her car, and I'm like, yeah, so thanks for letting me hang out or whatever. Yeah. A few of those moments. Yeah. Biggest Notre Dame fan in the world, by the way. Yeah, Nick would have done that.

Yeah, Nick would have done that. So she was already huge then, but she was going to the grocery store? Yeah. Yeah, she was going out to get... But she was huge. Like, was it... Not what she is now, but starting to. Yeah, yeah. I think Fearless had just come out, which was a huge album. Yeah, so probably not...

She could probably still... Everybody can go to the grocery stores to feel. You were such a fan from like months in. Nate would sing the songs and be in the car. And I was like, what is this? Loved it. And now in hindsight, I love her, you know, but I made fun of you early on.

Yeah, because you were, see, he was mean to me. I'm secretly mean. He's secretly mean. Y'all don't see it. All my cards are on the table. Nick hides it, and he yells at me off camera. What is this, Taylor Swift? You cow.

Cow. Nick's the real bully. He's the real bully. To attend the Oscars, you have to be a member of the Motion Picture Academy. Are you? No. I might be a member of the Motion Picture Academy. Are you? No. I might be a member of a grand- That's how Kramer got Mickey.

He was a member of the Academy. Yeah, yeah. He was with the Academy because he didn't say. That's Nick. The funniest thing, I live on the street of the Oscars. So you can't park on my street during the Oscars. And talking about seat fillers, they have to have a certain amount of people on standby in case people don't

show up or, you know, and so they line up in tuxedos on my street. And so you see them and a lot of these, it's like, they don't know if they're going to get called in or not, but just hanging out. How many of them don't get in?

Like I think, I think a lot of them get in, but they don't know where. Like if somebody gets up and they're nominated, they're not going to go back to their seat. But if you pan with the camera, because there's so many cameras. Look with the Golden Globes. I could not believe. And this didn't even air.

Yeah. It's like six, seven cameras and cranes. So they want to have every seat looking full. So there's a lot of people that are like, you may get in because people go to the bathroom and i don't understand especially at this point how many people are up that that's really gonna make a difference and who's it why does it matter does people think you can't really feel i was about to say is this such a big problem that you need to jump through all these hoops yeah just seems like it's overkill so like so if you win an oscar you don't come back and watch i don't think you go back to your seat you go from that to like there's a separate area where you do an interview and you're on a

a carpet and you're in you're holding it and you're talking about it and that's the way it was from the golden good after you even present you you go and you you talk about the experience and you talk about this and there's other areas so they have people that go in and you can't just have anybody yeah because they have to have you be cleared through security for this i had to be tested three times you know i had to get tested vaccination cards all that stuff so that's a whole other layer now yeah for the seat fillers but even before you know there would be you can't just have anybody on the street come up and they had the whole thing with the one guy that was a seat filler that ran up on stage i think at the oscars right with the oh really where he was a streaker

no but i think he just ran there was a big thing where somebody ran on stage recently i found a couple of clips from years ago there's one that was streaker that the 1974 oscars just ran behind the presenter and then i think something recently happened i can't remember if it was the oscars or something weird happened where somebody ran from the audience it's uh well this is the i think it's a little further in but um the security is unbelievable there's snipers on the roof there's for the oscars it's crazy yeah oh yeah yeah oh well there's i mean there's just so much i guess probably money there i mean there's because they've gotten a lot of threats for like bombs and all kinds yeah so it's like well i can't remember when the streaker happened I think it was back It's real fast

I may have misled you I think it was in the middle Oh there it is There it is Yeah so The Academy Awards Streaker 1974 Oscars He had a great mustache too yeah uh but the best was the guy this is like the emmys betty

thomas from was on hill street blues and she won an award and i got you see her in the audience like celebrating with her spouse or whatever and then a guy goes up on stage and says betty could not be here tonight um so she wants to thank and just starts giving a speech and he's just some guy who crashes events just crashed it and then everybody's like what is going on she's right here and then he kind of does a little thing they eventually

like usher him off not that one but that was the best one did I send that to you yeah the mystery man on stage no no you didn't send me that one. Oh, sorry. Could you imagine that if you win something at your entire career?

Yeah. Somebody else just goes up and gives a speech for you and you're like, ah, who is this and why? Yeah. You know? He called himself the great imposter. He pulled similar pranks at sporting events, including the Super Bowl.

I don't know what he did there, but he was fined $175 and six months probation. That almost seems worth it. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I think I'll pay this guy if I win $175. He can do it. He had a streaker at the Titans game. Oh yeah. When I was there. What would it take for you to do that? I feel like I would do that. $175. $175. A lot of folks commented they thought it was me because they said he gave up way too easy.

He did give up super easily. Well, you're so tired by the time you get down from your seats to the field that you're like, wish I thought this through. Yeah. He didn't try to outrun. I mean, he got laid out by the security guy. Just went and got him. He didn't even try to outrun him at all.

He was a streaker. No, he wasn't naked. It was just a guy running on the field. Just a guy running on the field. Yeah, I don't know why they don't. That's the one they always say they don't show it. And you're like, just show it. Or try to discourage people from doing it but

yeah but i mean you're doing it in front of 80 000 people i think that's the thrill 20 million and then it's immortalized forever on film too then you've got a clip of well there was a guy with the john 316 sign the rainbow man and people would start paying for him to go to all these crazy events and he would have the sign or you know i think he ran on the field and it ended up nuts this this his story he ended up like there's a 30 for 30 there's a 30 for 30 i i think but he ended up it just got wild people were paying for him to go to these things and it ended with him uh being arrested you know and he's in jail oh really for a long time i think so what did he do because that was there was i don't know the whole story but it was like

it was like a dog day afternoon where he had he had people like under you know you know yeah he had him basically in like a hotel they were like hostages yeah i mean you telling the story is if i imagine being a detective and you're the guy that we're trying like i would there'd be multiple times i'd go all right man well thanks for coming in and then you'd be like yeah well you had people in this hotel as hostages. I'm like, hold on. Come back. You're like, it would just start like, it starts so, like, it would honestly, like, you were the one that we're trying to get this guy to go to jail. Yeah, I thought he just held up the John 360 sign. Yeah, he did.

He did. But look into it. The story gets wild. Our buddy Walker Hayes was a big part of that Chiefs-Bingles game yesterday. Oh, really? He performed at halftime the Fancy song. And did you see this? It was so loud that the CBS broadcasters couldn't hear each other to talk.

Somebody messed up. They were down on the field at halftime and put the speakers right in front of them. So it just blasted out everybody. It was a big talk on social media. Yeah, that's funny. Fancy lot that it was just that. I think so. It was just so loud that you're trying to hear the announcers

and you just hear it blasting behind you. That's crazy. So this guy was charged with – he did take hostages took a turn see the story makes you know it's yeah he's look it up it's it's it's pretty wild but he would go to every major sporting event people would would pay for him to go because he was also who would hope the signs said john 316 yeah and so he would uh he would go to everywhere wearing the rainbow wig and was very famous to be the ultimate person that would he was like a crazy and then he ended up being like crazy why did they pay him to hold up that

sign well i think uh there were certain people i i don't know all the details but i think certain people were paying because he was sort of showing you know pro-religion you know message they just bought a ticket and do it themselves because he was he would go into like the world series and and you know like uh the wimbledon and and i think he ran on the field and ran this is like uh 80s yeah like this is where no no internet yeah there's i mean you could just get this is roland stewart Roland Stewart was briefly jailed by Moscow police at the 1980 Summer Olympics. In the late 1980s, he began a series of stink bomb attacks. Targets included a cathedral, a newspaper, the Trinity Broadcasting Network, and a Christian bookstore.

The stated intent of an attempted attack at the AMA, the American Music Awards, bringing it back around to the topic, was to show the public that God thinks this stinks. So he did a stink bomb attack. I mean, he was a big part of my childhood in the sense that every sporting event I've been to in the 80s, Monday Night Football, Howard Cosell, I remember just that guy holding the sign.

The John 360, no? Like every time they would kick a field goal, because he'd usually be behind the goalposts. He had the best seats everywhere. Yeah, I wonder how he got all those seats. At the time I didn't realize- Somebody was funding it. Oh, yeah? Yeah, at the time I didn't realize it was the same guy.

Because they just wanted, they liked that he was there. Or someone was like, wanted the message. I think it was people liked it. There was a religious message. Just that there was the John 316. and he was so recognizable with the wig and and maybe just somebody thought it was funny that he's doing all this crazy stuff yeah running on you know so yeah all right so uh egott do you know what that is yeah it's only been a very few uh you could be the whoopi Goldberg. Yep.

That's all I know. Yeah, there's, well, I say this very, very, I don't want to contradict myself. Go for West Side Story. Yeah. Yep. Right? Rita Moreno. Yes.

There's been actually more than I realized because there's been a lot of composers and people like that. But just for acting, there's very few. Helen Hayes, Rita Moreno, Audrey Hepburn, Whoopi Goldberg. And then there's been a few that won non-competitive, but they still got like a lifetime award. Barbara Streisand, Liza Minnelli, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, and Quincy Jones. He's a composer.

What does non-competitive mean? Like instead of up, they won an award, but they weren't competing against other people. They got like a lifetime achievement or something like that. Oh, like an honorary degree. An honorary, like a Grammy Legend Award. An adjunct Oscar. An adjunct Oscar.

Stuff like that. I mean, there's more directors and stuff like that, but as far as actual actors, very few. So you'll get the You'll get the G If I can win the Grammy I get the G And then you're on your way They're like winning the Emmy That's possible

Let's see You win the Critics Choice Award They just change the It's a Yeah Really Grammy First blush you think That'd be the hardest one for you

As far as you think A Grammy is music Yeah So I could see you in a movie Or a TV show or... I think you're going to struggle with that T, dude. Yeah. Tony.

You're going to be ego. I could write... Tonight, tonight. I could write... Nate Land, the musical. Nate Land, the musical. Or is it a Broadway show or does it got to be a musical?

It could be a Broadway show, right? Oh, yeah. I think it's just Broadway awards. Oh, yeah. So you do a Broadway show and just write... I mean, most Broadway shows are musicals,

but it didn't have to be. A play is what you're saying. Yeah. It's a one-man show about your and Brian's friendship. Yeah. Yeah. Rated R.

Called Dead Gummit. Kid's not allowed. Is that it? Well, I thought that would go further. All right. Now I get... Do you want to guess who's won the most Oscars? I would guess Meryl Streep.

Yeah. It's a very good... Meryl Streep has been nominated by far the most. 21 times. Wow. Wow. That Hanks. Meryl Streep has been nominated by far the most. 21 times. Wow. Wow. That is crazy. I mean, she won.

Nick, she's won three. I mean, how do you only win three? That's what doesn't make sense. If you're doing something where you're nominated 21 times and you only win three. Susan Lucci was the ultimate. Do you know who that is? For Daytime Emmy, she was a soap opera star. And she was nominated year after year after year after year.

And she never would win. And she finally won. But it was a long streak. She was known as the one who always would never win. Wow. But Meryl Streep was nominated 21 times. The next closest is Jack Nicholson with 12. So she almost doubled it.

Dominating. Yeah. But Katherine Hathorne has the most Oscars before. I thought it would be so much more than that. Yeah. Four is the most. For acting. I would have thought Meryl Streep had about 10.

Yeah. For directing and composer. I was thinking maybe like John Williams. Yeah, he's probably got 30 or something like that. Oh, is there like, yeah, who has the most Oscars? Is it someone that has like 30? I mean, look how many. Sound editing.

Look how many John Williams just. Yeah, he's been, John Williams is nominated for 52. He's won five. That's still not crazy. That's still not. No. But he's has, yeah. Yeah, That's still not crazy. That's still not. No. But he's had, yeah. Yeah, it's still not crazy.

Walt Disney. He's 26. 26 Oscars. Yeah. Wow. SNL's been nominated. I saw where like just Lorne Michaels has been nominated for like almost 100 Emmys, I think. Wow.

That's crazy. SNL's like over 250 nominations in the show's history. But it's been on for nearly 50 years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Critics' Choice Awards. There's been two people who have won three times. Allison Janney, Sarah Paulson. It's a very new award show.

It's my favorite one. Yeah. For TV, I think they've been doing it for like 10 years. If I win that one, if I'm at one. You're on your way. I'm on my way. I'm almost to the top. You're in the mix.

Yeah. Yep. Tickets for the first ever Academy Award were $5. Wow. I mean, when was the first Academy Awards? 1929. Yeah. People still have to pay to attend. I mean, that's, you know, when was the first Academy Awards? 1929. Yeah. People still have to pay to attend.

Really? If you're nominated, you don't. The studio or somebody will pay for you. But if you're a member of the Most in Picture Academy and you get a chance to get a ticket, ticket prices run from $150 to $750 for a seat. But like the actors that are there, I mean, it's only the nominated actors that are there.

And then it's... No, because this theater holds 3,400 people. Yeah. So it's a big theater. And the Motion Picture Academy is twice that many members. So... Yeah, didn't Sebastian go, Maniscalco? And he was like sitting in the top or something like that?

I didn't see that at the Oscars. Well, if you're part of a movie, though, that's nominated, they'll give tickets to support him. Yeah, but they go sit. They don't get to sit. They sit farther back. I mean, I think it depends on what the movie is. And he was a part of Green Book, right?

Yeah, and that won. It won the Oscar. Big shout out, Peter Farley, the best guy. Yeah, but if you ever sit at the top you'd probably still see some pretty well-known actors yeah probably i'm guessing i would see yeah or someone like that's good i mean it's crazy because sebastian's like someone like in that world where they go you know like he's everybody's kind of looks at him like oh well i don't know who this guy is like well this guy could sell this room out alone.

Maybe 10 to 15 times. It's kind of weird. Very few of the other people who are more famous could do that. Oh, they couldn't. Maybe none of them. Maybe none of them. Maybe none of them. Not as much as he could. If it was like Brad Pitt was going to go speak, he could probably sell it out.

But when people are like what is he gonna do like he wouldn't know what he's gonna do like leonardo caprio sell out an arena no uh no i mean that that is that's funny that is that's always the craziest thing is like you know like it seems like you know people are like oh who's this sebastian guy and you're like that guy I mean sold out four gardens listen to this how crazy this is 1961 so the

the biggest award for Grammys is album of the year 1961 Bob Newhart won not just for comedy album of the year

album of the year for anything the last award he beat out Harry Belafonte Frank Sinatra Nat King Cole and two other

nominees how crazy is that with a comedy album with a comedy album wow He beat out Harry Belafonte, Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, and two other nominees. Wow. How crazy is that? With a comedy album? With a comedy album. Whoa. Was it musical or was it his calls and stuff? Yeah, no, it was comedy.

Yeah. Yeah, I think it was his first one because he also got Best Newcomer or something like that. They probably didn't have a comedy album back then either. No, I think he won that too. Oh, really? I think he won comedy album of the year, and then later in the night, he wins just album of the year.

Man. That's crazy. How crazy is that? Dominating. George Carlin has the most nominations for comedy album with 16. Bill Cosby has the most wins with seven. Wow. Seven.

All got probably taken back. Probably so Midnight Cowboy Was the first X-rated film To win best picture Wow X-rated I've seen that

I don't think I think that'd be PG-13 now Yeah There's Seinfeld That plays off Midnight Cowboy Do you know that? There's what?

There's a Seinfeld episode Oh Where the mom and pop store and we're like kind of and Jerry wears the cowboy boots. That's kind of playing off Midnight Cowboy. Oh, I've never seen

Midnight Cowboy. It's great. Yeah. I'm walking here and all that. Oh, I don't even know what it is. And at the end

Kramer has a nosebleed on the bus. All that's playing off this movie. Oh, I thought that was playing off the dust and Hoffman. Yeah, that is it. That's it. end, Kramer has a nosebleed on the bus. All that's playing off this movie. Oh, I thought that was playing off the Dustin Hoffman. Yeah, that is it.

That's it. Yeah, but I thought that was from, I think I thought it was from Rain Man. No, it was that. Oh. So this movie's like awesome.

Yeah. Yeah. What is it about? It's one guy, like a gigolo or something. Yeah. And it's like,

and Dustin Hoffman kind of mentors him. Yeah, mentors him and he's sort of the pimp. Yeah. He guy like a gigolo or something and it's like uh and dustin hoffman kind of mentors him yeah mentors him and he's sort of the pimp yeah he's like a dumb uh buffoon who comes to it's the john voight it's john voight right so it's also the john voight's car episode he moves to new york and you know dustin hoffman takes him under his wing and just shows him the way oh but this is new york in the 70s so it's like a whole different new york yeah yeah one best picture best director best screenplay it must be pretty good i guess yeah yeah plays 36 on top 100 of all time wow wow i'll have to check that out yeah maybe I'll try to if I get the time one of the top movies

of all time I don't you know I'm kind of busy right now in my own life but I'm trying to look at I'm re-watching Sopranos

I re-watched Scream the new one? no I haven't seen the new one yet but I'm going back to all of them Scream is my favorite movie the first Scream

is my favorite movie such a good movie yeah and so like I'm pretty pumped about so I just. Scream is my favorite movie. The first Scream is my favorite movie. Such a good movie. Yeah. And so, like, I'm pretty pumped about it. So I just went and I was watching them all this weekend. I like them all. They're fun. Yeah, you showed them to me.

I watched it the first time. Yeah. That and I Know What You Did last summer. Yeah. I had heard of all these movies. I just never actually sat down and watched them. Yeah. They're a lot of fun.

They're fun. Yeah. Scream, the first Scream's awesome. They're all awesome. I like it. But, like, the first one is, like, yeah. It's The first Scream's awesome. They're all awesome. I like it. But the first one is like, yeah, it's my favorite movie. All right.

Is that it? Yeah, the longest ever Oscar ceremony was four hours and 23 minutes back in 2002. How long do you get to speak? Do you know that? I suppose like 30 seconds. I don't know. The more famous you are, the more time. Is that true? It feels like it.

I think if you're like, you know, if you win the, the people that win, like, the big awards, I think they are allowed to, like, they usually give a pretty big speech. So when are your awards? Keep 45 seconds. April 3rd. Will you be able to attend? Yes.

Yes. Yeah. third would be will you be able to attend yes uh yes yeah i don't know i don't think i might be getting good to go to the critics choice awards but the grand i have because i already have a show and that i mean it crushes me because i would have you know i was excited to get to go to these i've never really been to i've never been to them and so i don't believe i'm going to be able to do that because i have a show that we've already, like, it's like, you know, it's like with Move and everything, it just ends up being. But the Grammys, I'm going to be able to be there, and so it's in Vegas. Awesome. So, yeah.

It's exciting, man. It's exciting. It's very, it's crazy. It's crazy. I can't believe I'm even nominated. It's a big deal. He doesn't buy that. Aaron just said, I'm going to say it.

When I go, if I win, I can't believe I won. Would you rather them go like, I expected this and I would be mad otherwise? Yeah, honestly. I mean, wouldn't that be amazing? But I don't think anybody really feels like that. Okay. You think they do? I mean, how would you know, dude?

Look at Meryl Streep's- I want to believe what you're saying. Well, Meryl Streep's been 21 times, and she's won three. Yeah, but if she went up there and won her fourth one, oh, I just don't know who to, oh, my goodness. But I think the other, would you? You've been through this for 40 years. I know, I know, but you would then be like, but you've not,

you've nominated me 21 times. I've lost, she's lost the most. She's lost more than anybody's ever lost. Yeah, yeah. Even though she's won three, she's lost more than anybody. I don't know if that's true, but it sounds like it. But she's lost 18 times. Can you imagine being nominated 18 times?

You would be very surprised. There's got to be a point. There's a streak of her losing 18 times, dude. She goes 21 times to this thing she wins to three and then 18 of those i mean there's a point you go like i'm not even gonna write a speech i think i think it's like i'm like because you're just the hassle like every year i have to write this big long i can't believe and then y'all just don't give it to me 18 times. Like that would be. And then if you did win, you might be like,

yeah, I don't have a speech prepared because I never win. And even though y'all hear my name all the time, I'm never winning. I think one time she won after she'd already won. And she was like, I know you guys are mad that I keep winning, but I'm sorry. You know, she kind of like said that in the thing. Yeah.

But I feel like it is though like it's the first time you've won the first time insane thing the adrenaline of everything you just i think you do kind of blank out you know i think about like you know like you're at you're in a career right now like do you think about a grammy or do you think about like obviously you'd want to win one but like can you imagine it or can you like you know why would they ever what i'm thinking about yeah it's like so that's what i think the mindset like that's what the mindset is for uh i know just speaking from comedians is us you just work hard forever and then you kind

of look up and here you are yeah it's crazy you just you don't you're not there there's not like a goal of like grammy this that blah i'm not saying i don't know actors my singers might have that kind of stuff. But you kind of just are like, I don't even know what I'm trying to do, man. I'm just trying not to be homeless. Yeah. And like you're starting a job and that's, you know, that you're not promised. And so then, yeah, you just get to it and you get to a point and you're like, you're in your head. You're still like, I'm still just here, dude.

I still go, you're with your family and you're still hanging. You're like, I don't look at it as like this other way. I can tell when I go on the road and you're like, I don't know why these people are here. I don't. Like, it's crazy and you feel like you're like, I feel bad. Like, you're like, I don't. I got to do good enough to be like, am I supposed to be?

Why am I here? So I think that's why it happens. I definitely know what you mean. I get it. But I do think that's what it'd be. If you got nominated for a Grammy next year, you're going to be like, I can't believe it. I would go, it's about time. Yeah.

Finally. You're probably mostly talking about people who've won a bunch. Seems like no one's won a bunch. Well, that's true. At least in Oscars. I'm sure in Gramm who've won a bunch. Seems like no one's won a bunch. Well, that's true. At least in Oscars. I'm sure in Grammys. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah, look, Dan and Shay. We had Shay here. Shay's won. They won a ton. But it's still like, you know, Shay and Shay, it's still just like, I can't believe. I mean, there's going to be after you get nominated a bunch and, you know, you would be like, how am I not not like, you know. I think the nerves, though, are a real thing, though, where a lot of people are like, look, I don't need to write down my speech because I do this all the time.

I perform or I act. And then it's wildly nerve wracking. I was like scared before I went up. And I, you know, you perform all the time. And I think certain people just think that they have it. And then when they get up there, they go, I don't remember what I'm supposed to say. Yeah. And they literally you see them blank. And they're like, I don't remember what I'm supposed to say and they literally

you see them blank and they're like I didn't think I was going to win and it's just literally them saying that to try to figure out what they want to say. Yeah they're just saying what they've heard over the years. Can I promote a couple shows? Yeah. February 5th this Saturday I'm back at the Grand Ole Opry

Nice. John Schneider is on the show, Bo Duke. Oh, wow. My hero from my childhood. That's really cool. April 15th, 16th, me and Aaron doing a co-headlining at Wise Guys in Salt Lake City. Oh, wow. That's awesome.

What should we call it? The tour. Breakfast in the Gout. Breakfast in the Gout. The Whistle and the Wheeze. Gout before breakfast That sounds pretty good Doesn't it

Sounds good Like you know I don't know So Well it'll probably just be Our names From the Nate Land podcast But

Yeah Anyway Hopefully That'll be a fun show Salt Lake That'll be good I'll let you know How it is traveling

With this guy Yeah Yeah See how it goes I'll keep you know how it is traveling with this guy. Yeah. See how it goes. I'll keep him on his toes. Yeah. He's gotten better.

Just meet him there. That's exciting. Meet him at the gate. In Salt Lake? Yeah. Yeah. In Salt Lake. Hey, I'll see you on stage. I got one, too.

Next weekend, Valentine's Day weekend, February 10th through the 14th. I'm in Cape Girardeau, Missouri. Oh. I've never been there. Laughing Gas Comedy Club. I'm headlining. Talking to Aaron. This is getting a little Aaron in that episode here going. Laughing Gas, Cape Girardeau.

Come out. Yeah. That's awesome. That's awesome. I'm getting to open for you in Salt Lake. Salt Lake? We're being Salt Lake. We added a fourth show there.

This weekend? There's a lot of folks. No, no, Lake. We added a fourth show there. This weekend? There's a lot of folks. No, no, no. It's, I don't know, February 21 or something. Something like that week or something like that. The same night as our show. Yeah. I'm going to move it to April 15th.

Just to crush us? Like a point just to kind of remind everybody what we're doing here. And then, yeah, so I got that. And then this weekend we're going to Pensacola, New Orleans, Dallas. Dallas will be the biggest place I've ever played. It's like 5,000-some seats. Wow. It's a big place.

It's amazing. So that will be pretty special. But, I mean, there will all be New Orleans, two shows there, Pensacola. The shows have been awesome. You guys have been pretty special. But I mean, there'll all be New Orleans, two shows there, Pensacola. Shows have been awesome. You guys have been coming out. I truly appreciate it. Me and Bates are fine. We don't have to.

They said people were talking about it in the crowd, the vibe of it. What crowd? At my shows. Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. Word was getting around. I opened with a big rant about you.

So that didn't help. That didn't help. And I, you know, I go, I know y'all are wondering why is this breakfast here, and absolutely not. We love you. Thank you for listening, as always. None of it's lost on us.

Truly appreciate it. Thank you very much. See you next week. Yep. Bye. Bye. Yep. Bye. our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating on comedy. Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovation's consulting and partnership with Center Street Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be

sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.