The Nateland Podcast - #86 Talk Shows

Episode Date: February 16, 2022

On this week's episode we're talking about Talk Shows. The guys look at famous moments in talk show history, Nate gives some behind the scenes stories on what it's like to appear on a talk show, and Brian shares a story of baring it all while visiting his dermatologist.   Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail]   Helix - HelixSleep.com/Nate Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners at HelixSleep.com/NATE. That’s up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows at HelixSleep.com/NATE.   Upstart - Upstart.com/Nate Find out how Upstart can lower your monthly payments today when you go to UPSTART.com/NATE. That’s UPSTART.com/NATE. Don’t forget to use our URL to let them know we sent you!  1Loan amounts will be determined based on your credit, income, and certain other information provided in your loan application.  Go to UPSTART.com/NATE. Indeed - Indeed.com/Nate Start hiring RIGHT NOW with a SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLAR SPONSORED JOB CREDIT to upgrade your job post at Indeed.com/NATE. Offer valid through March 31st. Go to Indeed.com/NATE to claim your SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLAR CREDIT before March 31st. Indeed.com/NATE. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? You need Indeed.   Athletic Greens - AthleticGreens.com/Nate Right now, it’s time to reclaim your health and arm your immune system with convenient, daily nutrition — especially heading into the flu and cold season!  It’s just one scoop in a cup of water every day. That’s it! No need for a million different pills and supplements to look out for your health.  To make it easy, Athletic Greens Is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase.  All you have to do is visit ATHLETICGREENS.com/NATE. Again, that is ATHLETICGREENS.com/NATE to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance!   Allbirds  - Allbirds.com  This winter, keep your feet cozy and dry with the Allbirds Wool Dasher Mizzles.  Discover your perfect pair at Allbirds.com today. That’s ALLBIRDS dot com.

Hello folks, welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I'm Nate Bargetzi, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber here. Welcome, I don't know how this is going to start. Yeah, because we're pre-recording this one for a future when your baby's here. I don't know. You think that'll be the next time we need it? Yeah. We're going to hold on to it until. I hope for a long time. Imagine your baby just sees you sitting at the end of this table.

I just imagine your baby's 30 now and just going back and looking at this and like, where's your dad? And then just you, hello folks. Well. Short sleeves. I already have jokes about as soon as she comes out of the womb and sees me, she's going to be doing that. Yeah.

I'm going to get lost in the parking garage, leaving the hospital. Yeah. But, well, this shirt, Kevin. Yes. Our friend Kevin made this shirt. I don't think I've ever worn it on the show. That shirt's unbelievable, dude. I haven't seen that.

No, it's a good shirt. But to your point, I did when Ruth had the high blood pressure. We had to go to the ER. I was wearing this shirt. And they're checking us in. And I see the woman just kind of. Yeah. And I realize I'm wearing a shirt of myself.

Yeah. She's like, oh, God. Yeah. This guy's going to be. Hello. She's talking to you like that. Hi. She's like, put two masks on Yeah. This guy's going to be. Hello. She's talking to you like that. Hi. She's like, put two masks on, please.

How are you doing? You made it. You live on your own now. Yeah, I'm on now. Because that's good. Yeah, it's Kramer. You live, what is he? You live on, yeah, I live on my own now.

I think that's the tops. I think that's the tops. You're not doing that too bad for yourself. Yeah, it's got Nate Land Podcast. Yeah. Kevin does a great job. Oh, yeah.

Well, Kevin's great. He's the best. Kevin Best. But they, yeah, that is funny. Like you are, that's what the, you're Kramer of that episode.

You're just the tops. They think I'm special. Mel Torme. Yeah. And you would be going to see Mel Torme. I don't think I knew who Mel Torme was and I don't think to see Mel Torme I don't think I knew who Mel Torme was

I don't think I really even do now outside of that Seinfeld I had heard of him I think he's like was he like a Vegas guy I guess so

it was like I guess I don't know I mean I think he was pretty well known but it was back 40s and 50s or something yeah yeah

yeah sitting next to Mel related to Marissa Torme different spelling i know i like it's a great name mel torme i'm sure it's like the velvet fog yeah it's like you're gonna know who he is you would know exactly who he is and all that stuff but i mean i think that's what he was called right i think that's what seinfeld did good where they would just they would give you someone like that maybe everybody knows mel torme but they give you something like that. Maybe everybody knows Mel Torme, but they give you something like that that you're like, I guess I should know him.

And then the name is so like, yeah, Mel Torme. Mel Torme I knew, but one that he gave that I had no idea is when, I think Jerry's parents think he's running low on money and they call the, I think it's the Cadillac episode, and they call the club and they're like, they didn't have you listed. And he says, oh, I don't go by myself.

I go by Slappy White. Slappy, do you know who that is? I don't know. He's a veteran Chitlin Circuit comedian. And he traveled with Red Fox and he was on Sanford and Son. And when Red Fox finally made it on Sanford and suffering son he booked all his former friends had never done anything uh and he was one of them oh all those guys were comedians the woman who played ann ester she was a comedian on what they called the chitlin circuit yeah and he just brought all

his friends along oh that's cool he would tell them find a spot in the show for this guy yeah and then they would just have to do it yeah but so But it's so funny that Jerry, Slappy White, is just such a very unique reference. Yeah. Yeah. All right. I thought it was interesting. No, that is super interesting for sure. Yeah, it is.

You know why I know Slappy White? Jeff Ross mentions him in a joke. If you ever watch The Roast of Emmettith online jeff ross he's talking about how he's the only white guy there and he says we got everybody but slappy white in here and that's the only thing i've ever heard that name until you just described it okay uh it's gonna be a good episode we're rolling in it just got obscure when you go from seinfeld it just kept getting more obscure the roast of emmett smith getting more obscure the roast of Emmett Smith you ever see the roast

of Emmett Smith you're like I don't I mean maybe it's a great roast dude I'm sure it is I'm sure it's a great roast yeah

Jeff Ross says every comic up here dreamed of being a Dallas Cowboy one day but the only one who even came close was Monique

she's up there and it's just the place he rubs yeah yeah Dallas Cowboy one day, but the only one who even came close was Monique. She's up there. It's just the place he rubs, dude. Yeah, Jeff Ross is unreal. Paul Antonio. They're going to write in the comments. Been re-watching the old episodes, and I have to say there has been zero character development on the part of any of our three hosts over the course of the last year and a half,

except maybe in our perspective of Aaron and his fall from grace as a supposed secret genius. Commenters on early episodes liked saying things like, hope you guys never change. And you're definitely held up your end of the bargain. Good luck. Good luck, Kim Payson,

2022. But you not being a secret genius has been. That's earth shattering, for sure. That's a big one. Everybody's in Notre Dame. He's got all this kind of stuff. Yeah. Just a letdown.

You're only as smart as the company you keep, honestly. That's true. You know? Yeah. So you would be better if you were like on a science podcast, and y'all would be like saying stuff. I'd be the dumb guy on a science podcast, for sureall y'all y'all be like saying stuff i'd be the dumb guy on a science podcast for sure but we bring you down is what you're saying now i'm saying we're meeting in the middle somewhere aren't you an average of the five people you're most around

i've never heard that what is that from i think it's tony robbins is it really yeah he said you're an average of the or something like yeah the but the five people you're closest to is how you're going to act. Okay. I believe that. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be like, it's kind of yourself. I guess that's who you'd want to hang out. Yeah, that's why your friends are always going to be kind of like everybody's friends you look alike.

Kind of. Like you end up just being around people that are you. But I hope if I've gotten dumber, I hope I'm getting funnier. I would take that trade any day of the week. One day. And. You shot that down so quick. Yeah, we'll see.

I think so. Eventually. Ryan Zuber. I just said, too, like people hang out. I'm not trying to describe racism. I got that from over there. I go, yes, that's why we all just hang out with our own kind. To look like us.

To look like us. Yeah, that's why I think more people should be hanging out with each other. Stick to your own. Yeah. I mean, take either of them, this podcast. It's stick to your own. You know? Bayland Podcast.

Ryan Zuber. Right up after that. Tonight, just before sending my third grade son, Cy, to bed, a Planet Fitness commercial was playing on TV. He said, if Aaron ever went inside, he could have been in the commercial. I love the show references my kids randomly throw out. Thanks for giving my whole family some laughs to look forward to weekly. That's very cool.

Yeah. I got a new one. Got a new one. Racism. Yeah. I'll do that one. Don't say that one in school. Jace Hupperek.

J-A-C-E. Hooper-ik. Hooper-ike. H-U-P-P-E-R-I-C-H. I am 12 years old and I listen to your podcast all the time. My mom says I should read more instead of listening to your podcast at night, but it helps me go to sleep. I want to hear Nate try to pronounce this word.

Hippopotamocerous, good luck for the alphaphobia. Try to guess what it means. I think you did a pretty good job. Hippopotamostrophobia. You give up towards the three quarters in. You kind of just go, let's get through it. And then I hit the phobia. It looks like somebody just jammed their fingers on a keyboard. It actually means something.

It does look like it. Scared of hippos? Scared a keyboard. Yeah. It doesn't look. It actually means something. It does look. And it's very. Scared of hippos? Scared of something. No, it's very funny. Yeah. It's a scare. It's a fear of long words.

Oh. That's what it is. It's kind of a mean trick they did. Yeah, that's funny. Hippopotamon, stroxicopede, lephobia. How would, what kind of job would you have to be like, if you're like, I got to say this word more than you realize? Like, what would it, like, well, I mean, if you're like.

Like a psychologist or something, I guess. Yeah, that's like, you know, it's like. Yeah, but somebody, I guess, realized there wasn't a word to describe the fear of long words and they just to be funny said let's make a really long word yeah i wonder who that is like who gets to come up with that charlie chaplin and mel torre mel torre miriam or webster maybe i don't know uh could be shakes. He did a bunch of stuff. He did. He did do a lot of stuff.

Yeah. Daniel Ault. Would y'all ever consider doing the podcast while playing a round of golf? I mean, I would. I don't think you'd want to listen to it. It'd be a long episode. I don't think. I have my buddy Doug who did our music at the top. We talked about doing Be a long episode. I don't think I, my buddy Doug, who did our music at the top,

we are talking about doing like a golf thing. The hard part is you're not going to care. I think the audience, you're not, you think you're going to, you think you'd want it. Some people I'm saying might want it, but that a number of people are very limited.

I think it would have to be like the Krispy Kreme challenge. Really edited it down. Yeah. Like the Krispy Kreme challenge is like, that's why we did it the way we did it was on top it was like a bonus thing yeah because then you don't feel bad being like well this is an extra thing yeah so if you don't if this is not your thing then it's not then what we're doing it we're not trying to trick you into not doing a real episode so it could be something like that you know it'd be video heavy, though. But I mean, yeah, I would say I'm going to do my golf podcast.

I'll probably do one. You shot a video once out on the course. Eric Andersling. Wait. The one in Missouri we're at? Oh, yeah. Did that ever air? Yeah.

That one was, no. I don't think so. Mike Lavin and Nick? Yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah they yeah nick got drunk uh that time i'm playing golf tiger war tiger woods course in uh in uh uh branson yeah in the where you go let's go play with him out there it's a long one who Who, me? Yeah. That's when y'all played 36 that day, right? No, no, we played. Okay.

I remember you were wiped out one of those days. Yeah. Yeah. That was like, it's Tiger Woods course, but that was one that you're like, all right, we got to pick the ball up. I missed, do you remember that par three? Yeah. I missed a short put remember that par three? Yeah. I missed a short putt for birdie.

Yeah. Yeah, hit one almost hole in one. Yeah. Wow. How'd the rest of it go? Oh, yeah. I mean. I would have, you said you'd go to the airport right now. I'd go, I'll take it.

Ryan Lynch. What's the longest set any of you has ever performed have you ever done two hours of material I still think the longest I've maybe done is at 115

or something and I almost think I did it maybe an hour 20 like I did it it was in a real bad situation I think I've ever

ever talked about it like the I did a show in Maine and it was a lock-in and so they it's you know like i don't some people don't know what lock-in is but it's like so instead of like prom so especially like smaller towns so they don't go out and drink and drive and blah blah whatever they they just rented out like a place that had bumper boats and uh mini and all this. And so then the kids just stay there all night.

And so I was a comic. And so they hired me to perform. I performed in one of the rooms. And I would say it would take me, I remember going alone to this gig. Like I said, when I was performing in the room I was performing in, it would take you a minute to find me because people are just walking around you. Like it's not like you have a, you're just in a corner. Yeah.

So there's a kind of a runway in the middle where everybody's walking. Yeah. And then there's some people kind of sitting behind watching. But, I mean, if you walked in, you would be like, where's the comedian? Yeah. And you would, you'd have to find me. And I think I'd talk for an hour and 20-something minutes, just because the pure chaos alone was, you're like, you're not doing material.

You know, you try, and then you're just, like, end up, like, talking to people. Kids are're like, you're not doing material. You know, you try and then you're just like, you end up like talking to people. Kids are like grabbing the microphone. Like, I mean, it's just not good. So I think that's still to this day probably the longest. Was that a high school? It was for a high school. Okay.

Yeah. And so, yeah, it was like a wreck. How long have you been doing college? That's awful, man. I mean, I don't know, six years or something like that like yeah i mean not long you know where you don't know how to handle that but i'm thinking you're driving to maine i remember driving to maine that's where they for that night they're like a moose could just be in the middle of the road you're gonna hit it just falls on you you die like you just all the all the stuff you know that you're scared of yeah you're like oh this is

gonna be but i always remember that and that was the longest i ever did i've done an hour you know It was just all the stuff that you're scared of. Yeah. You're like, oh, this is going to be. But I always remember that. And that was the longest I ever did. I've done an hour. I've hit 70 probably. But I don't ever do two hours. I mean, I would like to do more. I want to eventually, I hope to, I don't think it's not going to be right. Like I said, I do an hour.

hope to i don't it's not gonna be right i like i said i do an hour i would like to do uh i would like to be you know eventually up to you know in a couple years be doing like 75 80 you can do a one-man show 90 minutes you're gonna do that uh if i could ever do it i could see wanting to do it i mean i do i like bringing people comics on on the road and having people with you. But I could see wanting to do, I think it's like, you know, you got to want, it's a delicate amount of time. Because you got to realize your whole night is this kind of thing. So you need to be, the show, an hour and a half show is a good, usually a good amount of show. So an hour and a half, hour 45 hour 45 somewhere hour and a half to two

is probably you know give or take that should be almost your whole experience of being in the place i think and then you watch the show and it's funny and then you you know and then you just you hit hard and you get out but two hours yeah i don't i wouldn't i know a lot of comics i did my longest set ever this weekend. Oh, really? I did like 56 minutes. Oh, yeah. That's as long as I'd ever done. Yeah.

And I told them they wanted an hour. And I told them before I started, I was like, it might be best if it's going to be closer to 45, just a heads up. But I was having fun. I just kept going. It feels pretty good to get off. And I looked at my watch. I was like, oh, my god, dude.

Oh, it's better. I haven't been on that long. Yeah. And I never really felt like I was reaching for stuff. That's a pretty good to get off. And I looked at my watch. I was like, oh, my God. Oh, it's better. I haven't been on that long. Yeah. And I never really felt like I was reaching for stuff. That's a pretty good feeling. Yeah. You got to slow down. You ever feel like you're like up there and you're like, well, I got to slow this down.

Oh, yeah. I'm too done. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's how I felt at the beginning. And then your mind will just be like, I don't know if I know any joke ever that I've ever told. And then you're just stuck. You have all these old jokes,

but you're like, I don't know if I could do. It's, you know, it's hard. It's like when you get stuff really tight in the way it should be on stage, I'm a big, you shouldn't have stuff loose. It should be able to be tight. If you can't tighten it, I think it's, I don't know, unless it's not tight for a reason. Like if you're not tight for, you know, because you're like setting up a bigger thing later.

Like so, you know, you could have a joke. I remember having one joke that would be kind of not, it wouldn't be funny, but the setup needed to be a couple minutes long, just wouldn't be funny. And then the Davies story about the gay street or whatever, like that one was like the front is just kind of setting it up. Doesn't need to be a couple minutes long just wouldn't be funny and then the davy story about the gay street or whatever like that one was like the front is just kind of setting it up doesn't need to be really funny i could get a couple chuckles maybe you're kind of i don't need just enough to know you're interested in listening and then the payoff is boom boom boom boom boom boom right so it's like but i was the longer you get from a laugh the the bigger the laugh has to be. So if you stay somewhat near the laughs, you can build momentum off and it sets them off.

It's pretty awesome. It's pretty crazy. We were talking about down there. This weekend, I felt it was just doing it 19 years. It's like I love it. It's not about the motivation to do in comedy like and everything like you got to get excited again you got to you got all this kind of stuff like we're talking uh you know saying like your son would always say if you if he could go back to the time when no one

knew him it's like there was nothing funner than that to make the people laugh that didn't know you and i can still go a lot of places where people wouldn't know me, but it's like when they come see you now, they do know you, but then it's the excitement of going, well, they have these expectations of you. So can I be better than the expectations? Can I exceed those? Can I exceed their expectations? And so like, there is like, you got to have some kind of challenge or you don't care. And if, for me, if I don't have that kind of like, I'm trying to win you over some way, then you could be like, what do I, I don't, what do I care? And that's where I think people can get where stuff becomes a paycheck and you're going, I don't care. It's like, I'm just,

yeah, I put on, you're talented enough to put on a whatever show and who cares and whatever, but you gotta, that's where you gotta be aware of that You got to be aware to make sure that doesn't go away. And so you got to find the thing that be like, when you go on the road, and you keep doing these cities, and it's every night, and there's times you don't. You're like, I don't even know where I was. I don't know where I am. Like, I don't.

You're just hitting. But you got to be like, but it's about the stage. It's about, I mean, that's the whole point. Live performance is such a beautiful kind of thing that seems like it's going away. So now it's like you go, I get to go up and try to show them, can I be better than what they expected me to be? And then that's the same feeling I had before when I first started,

and he was like, can I? Like if you're a new comic, just be like, I can't wait to murder in front of these people. If you have that kind of excitement, it's, that's the excitement you always need. It's not about, I don't, the joke's got to work to murder, but it's like, sometimes I don't know if you can get too bogged down. It's like, it's still a performance.

Go murder. Go try to be like, can I make them laugh? How hard can I make these people laugh? It's, it's, that's the, that's the excitement. I remember having that. Everybody did that we started with, but it was like, that was a big, like, it's the old running thing of every comic thinks if a crowd's bad and everybody goes, I'll get them. We all think that.

We all think, well, I know how to, y'all don't know what you're doing. I'll get them. We all think that. We all think, well, I know how to do it. Y'all don't know what you're doing. I'll get them. And sometimes the crowds, you're like, yeah, no one's getting them. They're just that bad. But if you don't have the attitude of like, well, I could probably get them, then you need to have that attitude. Not saying you say it.

Not saying you're not obnoxious about it. But in your mind, you should go, I'll get them. It's a little bit of i think of it as like calibrated delusion a little bit yeah where you have no evidence or any reason to think that you are going to do better but you're like it's in there yeah i'm gonna do it but i but i'll do it yeah i'll figure it out yeah i'll figure it out this is what i'm good at yeah it's cool yeah it's a it's a yeah I just, yeah, doing stand-up is like, doing it over this long time, it's just so fun to see how, you know,

and I still don't think I know what I'm doing. But that's what's crazy. I look at that comedy stage back there. It's the 15-year anniversary just past of you doing that. And I just, 15 years this week, I took my first stand-up comedy class. Oh, wow. So been doing it a while now. That's pretty cool, man.

Yeah, it takes people longer than other uh yes it does it does that was mean but i had to do you know it was right there it was getting too serious it's getting too serious but it is like yeah it's it's it's just interesting but you've been able to see a difference of you like it's like crazy absolutely yeah we always talk about

like too like would be you the way you tell jokes at the beginning like they'd be too downer like people like feel bad for you

like where you gotta learn how to do that like the beginning was some of that would happen when we first went on the road together you could see

you could go up there and it's like almost like you can be too sad. I used to have wife stuff that I was like, I've talked about where people were like, well, it sounds like you hate her. And then you're like, well, I'm not, that's not the point of this. So I need to figure out how to get that across. Because if you can get it across that there's love behind it, then I can talk about anything. And and if you make in front of yourself and you get across like that me being dumb i have to be careful to be i can't be so dumb that you're going to go like you feel sad you got to be dumb enough but like people still are like no i get it

like you just didn't you know you didn't think when you did you know a bit of an airhead you know yeah it's like a mix of that but there is you know it's like uh this podcast on the other hand wide open wide open well you hear it probably i don't have a filter not protected yeah it's real time it's real time so it's like yeah i try not to i don't want people to know as much which i got a joke about that now but it's yeah you try not to now but now you say something something and you're like, people are like, ooh, you're like, I don't know.

Talk about the universe and they're like, good night, man. They're like, I can't handle this. And I'm like, I didn't know people went to this much school.

Kevin Robleski, Rob, Robleski, I bet, Wobleski, or Rob, I bet it's Robleski, W-R.

I'm guessing Robleski. Robleski. That's Robleski. W-R. I'm guessing Robleski. Robleski. That's my guess. My wife is sick and tired of me saying nightmare. She just found out where I acquired the habit, but she did buy me. She did buy me tickets to the Houston show February 12th. I don't think I read that sentence even remotely right. No.

I read it. I mean, if you could see it typed out, my wife is sick and tired of me saying nightmare. She recently found out where I acquired this habit, but she did buy me tickets to the Houston show February 12th. Am I reading it the way? That's way better. You were hung up on Robleski still, I think.

Yeah. Yeah, you got it right that time. Basically, even though his wife found out it was me he says nightmare from you she still was nice enough to buy him tickets to see you yeah

you should have heard what he was saying before nightmare yeah he was saying some awful stuff J.R. Baker Nate Dog

Nate Dog I used to call him Nate Dog in high school I was always called Nate Dog it was so much that I thought I would never I was like I don't know if I ever get my name back yeah because it was only called Nate Dog I used to call Nate Dog in high school I was always called Nate Dog it was so much that I thought

I would never I was like I don't know if I ever get my name back yeah because it was only called Nate Dog when did that when did that go away

when he went away and there did he die who Nate Dog oh you were probably too old for it

but he was a rapper in the 90s yeah I was like who are you talking about I thought you just said you were Nate Dog he died in 2011 yeah yeah so nate dog was uh yeah famous but so everybody nate dog everybody knew that so i got called nate dog uh and so you never heard nate dog i have but i didn't know he was a rapper yeah yeah uh you already you had a real job when he got years active 1990 2008 channel 5

yeah you're doing the news nate dog adub and bisquick i've been preaching for 25 ish years and i like to think i'm pretty entertaining and funny do you think those skills could translate at all to stand-up comedy or do you think it's apples and oranges i know y'all have plenty of church experiences so i thought y'all might be able to weigh in uh i don't think you got a chance jr you would have a chance you just it's got it it's the tightness is what people the tightness is is i think some of the people don't realize you listen to listen when someone tells a story when you have a regular person you have one of your buddies telling you a story really think about the story they're telling you and go like how much is necessary of this story and you can start no i mean i noticed it a lot now but it'd be curious if you're listening to this to like

don't say anything just like if someone goes i got, I got a story for you, just be in your head and be like, all right, let me, let me see. Yeah. Cause it's, I think you would notice like, Oh yeah. They, they, they've, it's the same thing. It's repeated. It's something that should be a sentence. It shouldn't be a whole story. A lot of times the story is, I think when someone tells it, it's, uh, it's, they take like the, the funny thing will be like your squirrels in your car or whatever. Like that's the whole point of you even wanting to tell a story. But then you will say,

so two weeks ago, I parked the car and now you're walking me through like all of it. And then it's like, all right, dude. And then by the time you get to the squirrels, I don't know if I even care. And so it's like, you gotta be like, well, what's the, when you think of a story, like what's like, all right, dude. And then by the time you get to the squirrels, I don't know if I even care. And so it's like, you got to be like, well, what's the, when you think of a story, like, what's the, what's the main thing I want to get to? And what's the fastest way for me to get to it? How much do I really need? Do I need to tell you that I parked the car two weeks ago and I didn't know? Is it, you know, I don't know the wires, but we've had trouble with our car.

You know, it's like, how do you It's like, how do you tell it? But I mean, if he's a pastor and he talks, he knows how to make stuff where people are listening. He knows how to stand on stage, hold a mic. It's just a different thing. Yeah, I'm impressed that they can do that every week. It's a totally different message. Yeah, yeah. See, he's a talker. You, I mean, he's a talker.

You got to be able to be a talker. And, yeah, I mean, you could do it. I mean, it would just be, it's the same way, like, I was thinking if I have to give, I don't really ever have to do it. But, like, people want to do stand-up. But if I had to give a speech or something, could I do it? I mean, I guess if I prepared it, you know. Yeah, you could. You know how to talk. I mean, this guy could, he could get up and talk i do it i mean i guess if i prepared it you know yeah you know how to talk i mean this guy could they he could get up and talk and do it i don't i i it's it's somewhat the skill set is somewhat the same it would be if you can get laughs you gotta realize though like

when you're i would say the only thing would be are are your laughs coming from, you're doing this in a place where people are not expecting laughs. Those laughs could be easier than if you go in a comedy room, I expect everybody to be really funny. So are your jokes going to be as fun? Like that's what I would be conscious of to be like, all right, like, yeah, I'm getting laughs at church. Well, I'm the only one being funny at church. But if I go to a Zany's, yeah well now the crowd's like well everybody's supposed to be really funny

maybe the jokes you know i would i'm not saying that he's one way or the other but i would say i would at least think about that the expectations are totally different yeah expectations are different so i would think like all right what what's funny in church? How much do I have that? How much can I tighten up? You know, but if a guy's funny, I mean, he's a guy can be funny. Now, have you ever heard, this is one of my favorite clips ever. I had never heard of the guy outside of this clip, but apparently he's big. John Piper is his name.

He's speaking to a group of Christian counselors at some conference. And my understanding of the story is, have you heard of this before? It's, he got switched with a comedian at the last second yeah so he goes out there and the crowd thinks he's a comedian yeah he's a very serious intense guy yeah and he's given this speech and he unbeknownst to him he doesn't understand why he's like murdering at this conference yeah and he keeps getting laughs and then he keeps being like guys guys, I don't know why. This is a very serious thing. And that gets a huge laugh, and he just can't stop killing at this thing.

That's funny. Just the context was all twisted up. Does it show like a highlight of it? Yeah, it's a longer – I can kind of fast forward a little bit in here, and you'll get an idea of the kind of laughs he's getting. Yeah. But he just cannot understand why he's killing so hard. All the time, namely, God knows totally all the time whether any speaker is a fraud or a hypocrite, so you may as well know as well if he knows. You hear the crowd laugh.

It's a wake-up call to speak to people like you. I've never done anything like this before. A wake-up call to speak to people like you. I've never done anything like this before. A wake-up call to the realities of pretense in my life, suspecting that any attempt at schmoozing would be known right away. So I thought I would spare you the analysis and just go ahead and tell you up front that I'm a sinner. Yeah, I'm a sinner. I'm a man who, to be more specific,

must crucify. He goes on. It's a very serious talk that he's given that's so great man that's so great that's i mean it's like yeah we're we're cinda i need to watch the whole thing it's five minutes long so it's like i don't want to make y'all uh but god that's so good and because it's like no one has any idea i mean that's just great and you can understand if you go into it thinking this guy's going to be funny he kind of had the timing of i kind of get it you know well there's probably the answer to this is going like it's the context of like yeah

that guy actually might do good because in the context they think it's it's going to be whatever so they think yeah if you think this guy you're like i guess this is the character he's doing of just being you know like you're like all right i guess he's just doing this i'm a sitter i'm a sinner just big yeah he goes all right you can tell too you can tell when someone's confused like on state like when they it's like when they talk a little slower like he knows how to get through the speech but the how it's slow he's going like something's not like something's not there he's like registering he's going why he's like what is you know that's where he's got to think is my zipper down is my you know is someone behind me like i mean you know that's

where i've sometimes you get laughs you can get a laugh so hard on stage sometimes that we always talk about like your zipper being down but i've thought did someone walk out behind me and like is doing something and sometimes like a joke just hits that hard you're like you're kind of like i'll turn sideways you're like let me make sure no one's like someone's not backstage they're going like waving and then i'm like oh i thought it was me you know uh that's funny uh luke jir uh wahardo jay wajardo what's the g g ua j gu yard guajardo guajardo yeah guajardo luke guajardo i think that's how you should go by i think everybody everybody would come up jingo uh luke they go, Luke. They go, Guajardo? You go, no, Guajardo. You go, oh.

So like you say, yeah, you're the only one that does it. The Guajardo family could be like, we're not wasting everybody's time. You have to get where. What you see is what you get in the Guajardo family. I started listening to this podcast about two or three months ago when I realized this was the last episode I felt so lost and didn't know what to do. I then thought about Aaron Land and said to myself, sadly, okay, I'll listen to that for a while. That while I wait for the next episode of Nate Land.

I was surprisingly disappointed when I found out that Aaron Land was not real. I looked for it for about an hour and then realized that maybe it was a joke. I'm probably more gullible than Mick. Little did you know, Luke, you've been listening to it for a while. Yeah. You just got through Aaron Lane just as quick. Piece by piece. Well, go check out Batesville in your view.

Yeah, that's a real thing. That's a real thing. Matthew Rogers. My dad used to work at the DuPont plant back in the day, and I decided to show him Tennessee Kid being that he's from Knoxville when Nate's Earth Day joke came on and he mentioned the plant

we paused the special and did the math to find out that he was inside the plant when Nate was outside planting a tree it truly is a small world love the podcast y'all

how fun is that that's awesome look at that that's crazy I like that that is funny you can ask him too we also

we gotta look at Jeffff gordon's car that day no i don't know it was that day maybe it was another day oh because he was sponsored by dupont yeah and but for some reason i thought he was there but maybe it was just his car i was little but uh i remember his car i mean this was you was, you know, when Jeff Gordon was. About as big as it gets. Yeah. Yeah. It's probably been an old Hickory DuPont plant next to his. Yeah.

And then see if there's a picture. And then you see me there. See you there in the car? Yeah. That would be pretty impressive. Didn't really change much. No. He wasn't there.

This is it right here, man. No, he was like out. I kind of remember it out, you know, but maybe it was just the car. Maybe the car was there and he wasn't there.

Yeah. I need to ask him. Jeff, let me ask you something. Did you ever go, Jeff Gordon, if you've listened to this, did you ever go to the old

Hickory DuPont plant and drive your car there? Master Crafter. Master Crafter. We've had. That's fun. Have we had master crafts like we have i love the funny story the funny stories of things that happen at your shows i was in a christian rock brand and played at a show in an outdoor youth festival the next day i had a teenager come

up to me and at my regular job at walmart and saw me and said aren't you a singer in a band i said yes and they said yeah i I got your CD and autograph yesterday. Then he said, so you just work at Walmart? I said, yep. And he said, huh, and turned around. As he was walking away, I heard his buddy chuckle and say, dude, you got the produce guy's autograph. That's entertainment.

If someone wants to get into entertainment, that's what's entertainment yeah if someone wants to get into entertainment that's that's that's what it is you're i mean and usually you're just lucky enough that that never happens to you like that yeah that's your biggest fear because you we all have jobs and then you your biggest fear is to get recognized and it's so you're like well no one cares so then that to happen is like you're like yeah dude that was every day you'd wake up and be like i don't want that i mean you know when i've had all my whatever jobs i remember doing you do conan next day go to a day job yeah yeah when i used to drive for uber you never know you're gonna pick up never you're gonna pick up i mean it could be somebody to show did you ever get recognized or have you ever yet um when you drive for uber you drive for uber too no i'm just meaning in

general the only place i've been recognized a few times outside of the context of a show yeah is uh the airport yeah i met a couple people at the airport not at a job you had no not i worked office jobs so people aren't really coming in and out they know you're a comedian like the people that i work with yeah yeah yeah most of them yeah when you drive for you you may recognize you as the driver of the uber i don't think they ever did but i always worried or i didn't really worry about it yeah i would actually you would love it yeah i've actually been honored if somebody yeah but i thought about it because I mean, I used to have a joke about it. I would start right after the show. So sometimes I'd turn it on and they could be right there at the club and I'd just take

them home. Yeah. Would you really start it that soon? I would start sometimes right after. Yeah. I was already downtown, so I would just turn it on when I left. I would, though, make sure I got away from Zanies or something. Do you ever try out jokes on your passengers?

No. You should have done it just for the story of, can't you still do it? Do you still have it? Have what? The Uber? Or do you have to read? Legally, could you just go do it right now? No.

I mean, it's not hard, but you just got to update your license and your proof of insurance. Yeah. Okay. I could probably do it this afternoon. Yeah. You got to do it just right after the show, after the Nailand podcast. Yeah. Just go.

Just have everyone climb in? You go, all right, there's one Uber. Brian, everybody wait. And then now just whoever wins gets to be taken home by you. It's like a surprise. I'll do that anyway. Yeah. They'll have to pay me.

Yeah. And they just do it. Yeah. Bailey Johnson. My grandma used to clean out syrup bottles and fill them with cleaning supplies. When I was three, I thought I was diving into some griffin syrup turns out i drank bleach she had to call poison control and they told me to eat a cracker and i'd puke it up shortly after this incident i accidentally burned down her kitchen by turning on a toaster oven i feel like she should have seen that coming it is what it is

uh yeah that's the story maybe I'd want to hear more about. She got right to it. Yeah. Right to it. Trimmed all the fat. Yeah, there's none. It's pretty good. God, why would you? Is bleach not white?

Bleach is pretty. She was three. Oh. Yeah, she didn't even know colors yet. Yeah, why would you? Yeah, that's true. And you're three and you're already addicted to Griffin syrup. There's Griffin syrup.

I've never heard of this brand. Did we talk about this on the John Reap episode? I feel like. Yeah, he said his family would fill up old syrup bottles for water bottles. Yeah. Yeah. But was it not Griffin's? I think it was a different brand.

Yeah, but Bailey. I mean, she was, yeah, she was three. So, but eating syrup. I mean, it's just a wildly, the grandmother was like, I just never imagined. Yeah. Where would you keep the syrup? Probably under the sink. Yeah.

I guess under the sink. Oh, I totally misread it. It was full of bleach. Yeah. Okay the sink. Yeah, I guess under the sink. Oh, I totally misread it. It was full of bleach. Yeah. Okay, but it was in a Griffin syrup bottle. Yeah. I totally misunderstood. Yeah, no, but it's still, it's a clear bottle, and bleach is white.

But if you're three, you have no idea. Okay. And so, but then she burns the kitchen down. I turn on the toaster oven. Burn down our kitchen. Bailey. And Bailey's almost probably not welcome.

Sounds like payback. Yeah. Jeff Lionel. I live in Lebanon, Tennessee with my wife and we are huge fans of the show. We were at the live taping

at Zaney's and we both agreed Aaron was funnier than we thought he'd be. My wife is in an emergency room. I get that. Yeah, I think we all do. My wife is in an emergency room. I get that. Yeah, I think we all do.

My wife is in an emergency room doctor at Vanderbilt. If you ever get there for a visit, make sure to ask for her. I'm a woodworker and would love to make something for the show or for baby breakfast. Free of charge, I believe Brian and I would be great friends. If you ever want to hang out, let them know. You and Jeff. I would love to, Jeff.

Yep. There you go. Come to Lebanon? Give you a ride? What would you like made out of would love to, Jeff. Come to Lebanon. Give you a ride. What would you like made out of wood? That's a good question. You have good furniture? A crib. A crib. I like you throwing that on him.

It's pretty big. He offered. Free of charge. An extra bedroom. We need this half bath. We need another bath. Jeff is like, I mean, he's like working for, you know. Are we going to be friends or not? Come on, man.

Yeah. And I mean, Jeff and his wife, you're at the emergency room all the time too. So like you'd be, you just would be him and his. In their life. Yeah. They're just like, golly, dude. He's never not around us. How do we not already know

each other? Yeah, we just have him here at all times. Ryan Rhodes, I am roughly the same age as Nate and have three beautiful children, but the thought of having another absolute terrifies me. So I scheduled a vasectomy. As the doctor was prepping me for the procedure, he asked me if I would be okay if he interviewed another doctor he was thinking of hiring during the vasectomy. I said, okay, and he pages the nurse to send the other doctor back to our room. Keep in mind, I'm on full display, and the doctor has done all the pre-work and just about to start surgery. The new doctor enters the room with a hearty, hello, folks. to start surgery. The new doctor enters the room with a hearty, hello, folks. And I don't know if it was the nervous energy or what, but before my doctor can even respond, I yell, let's go, folks.

I look up to see both doctors staring at me, probably wondering why I'm so adamant about starting this immediately. To make matters worse, I just kept replaying the situation over and over in my head and found myself chuckling throughout the procedure so much so that the doctor had to actually tell me to stop laughing. He assured me afterwards that no one had ever laughed during a vasectomy before, and he for sure thinks I am a psychopath. Anyway, thanks to Nate, Aaron, and Beanball for making a really uncomfortable situation go a little easier man that's funny that's amazing that is a tough you know that's a tough you know like you might have an interview like it's just you want to go

like well why don't you got to jam it in that much like i would you know how busy are you dude yeah you can't go meet in your office somewhere and this other doctor how about you're not hired because you walk in and go hello like you're not not, you make some big grand entrance to be like, Ryan should have been like, yo, the whole thing is not good, dude. Like, I'm sorry I'm laughing. You got half the hospital in here. You're like, do you mind if I run some errands while we do this vasectomy? I took it as.

I am just laid out. vasectomy? I took it as. And just laid out? I took it as maybe he's asking him questions in the interview about the procedure, things like that. I'm pretty jam-packed today, dude. I got this interview. I got to interview this guy.

Can I just do it while I'm- Do you mind if we may or may not hire this person? Do you mind if he comes and see you at your most exposed and hopefully he stays here and doesn't ever talk about it or he might go and you could be a story he goes yeah you'll see him later bartending and he's like yeah i thought about being a vasectomy doctor then i just changed my mind now he goes big and then he's like this is the guy i did that remember that one interview i did it It was this guy right here. Like, that's the risk that you're running of just going, just being like, you know,

does he really want to do it? Yeah. That's what I would be. The guy never got hired. That's great. It's like, you're doing that. It's like, don't even just, just let him come in. Like, I would be it's like don't even just just let him come in like yeah i would be like i don't even want to know i would feel better like you know yeah knock me out

and do whatever you want yeah they not knock you out during that i guess apparently not probably sedate you yeah i mean that would be first on the list of surgeries i want to be knocked out for yeah other than like heart surgery yeah so that would be first on the list of surgeries I want to be knocked out for. Yeah. Other than like heart surgery. Yeah. That would be first. Well, you have to pick one or the other.

Yeah. Do you mind if everybody comes in? My wife and I have been fighting. Do you mind if she comes in during this vasectomy? We just need to spend time together. Our babies that are called out sick. Do you mind if my kids, all my kids and my family come in? I told you the story about going to have a spot roof for my face.

And they told me to put on a hospital gown. And I've never been in the hospital. So I didn't know if you're supposed to take your clothes off or not. So I started. For some reason in my head, I thought it'll look dumber if I still have my clothes on. Yeah. So I just started stripping down. And right when I just get down to the bed, the nurse knocks on the door. And I was like, just a minute.

And she's like, it's just me, hon. And I was thinking, man, we just met. Yeah. And she comes on in with an intern. Yeah. And I'm just whatever. She's like, oh, you didn't have to take your bottoms we just met. Yeah. And she comes on in with an intern. Yeah. And I'm just whatever. She's like, oh, you didn't have to take your bottoms off, hon. Yeah.

So where was your spot getting removed? Right here. Next to your eye. Next to your eye. So then she has to leave the room, and I have to completely put all my clothes back on and then the gown on. Why? Why did you have to put the gun on to begin with just keep blood from like oh yeah getting on me because yeah that i completely stripped down took your jeans off i took everything off i mean you're my socks are off yeah it's like a normal doctor's office like they're going like yeah we don't do stuff like this man like you had she had an intern with her yeah

good night walks in did they laugh i think they were more startled than anything but then i have to put it all back on and then he comes in with her and the intern and i'm just like i know they've been out there talking oh yeah everybody's talked about you yeah oh everybody yeah that was like and they went home the guy in 431 took all his clothes off because he looks like he would have they know immediately who you're talking yeah don't tell me let me guess my wallet's gone my wallet's gone uh they should i do think all that kind of stuff they should be they should like i feel like they deal with that so much that they don't think they should say it and i think doctors should say hey we need you to strip all the way down or we don't or maybe you just go like unless they say

strip all the way down you just don't do it maybe you just go like, unless they say strip all the way down, you just don't do it. Since then, I've had a couple of small procedures, and they told you exactly what you're supposed to take off. Yeah, it's like they need to do that because you don't know. They just assume that you're in and out. I understand. I get the reasoning behind you being like, say you go get a massage and you're like, what am I supposed to do?

And it's like they can just be like, do whatever. You're like, just tell me. Just say what I'm supposed to do. I'm not, you know. And it's the same, you know. Yeah. Just imagine Brian at the dentist. Starts taking his clothes off. What are you doing?

His seat's cold. He goes, well, why would you say that? That's weird. Say that. Just for a cleaning? Yeah. That is a, why do they say say why does the gown not always go all the way anyway you mean it's tied in the back i don't know but you know what up until then you

want to visit the hospital yeah that's all they were wearing yeah so i associated with that's yeah let's take your clothes off yeah to get it done on your eye i mean they don't they could have almost done this procedure in your car. Like, it's not even a procedure that really needs you to. You stick your head in. Stick your neck in, and the rest stay outside. That's great. All right, so this week, we're going to talk about talk shows.

I just did one. How many have you been on total? Late night. I think we just counted, like I want to say, I kind of lost count. I want to say 10 tonight shows. And then two late nights with Fallon

and four Conants. 16. Wow. That's a lot. It's a lot. And then those. And then I haven't, I haven't done anything, you know. Daytime?

I don't think I did any daytime. I did like the one, like I did one in the Mexican one. Well, like Rich Eisen. Rich Eisen. He's done stuff like that. Yeah. I've done enough now that it's like you kind of know what to, you know. I've been in enough, like, you know, NFL, I went and did something. Like, you know, I've done enough now that it's like you kind of know what to, you know. I've been in enough, like, you know, NFL.

I went and did something. Like, you know, I've done enough now. But as far as the Tonight Shows and stuff like that, I've done 10. 10 with Fallon. 16 total. Had you ever or have you? I think 10. And Rogan, which is bigger than maybe all of those combined.

Yeah. Well, that's true. Yeah. Have you ever gone to a taping? Just as a fan? Did I ever go? I don't think so. I think my parents did once,

but I don't think I ever did. I mean, I guess the closest thing, we went to PTI, if you count that. Yes. Yeah. I've been to Fallon, Letterman, and Conan. Just in the audience? Oh, wow.

That's pretty cool. I've never been to any of those. Really? Aren't they all much smaller than you imagine? Everybody says that. You kind of notice that right away. You're like, it's way smaller. I think so, but it's basically like two rows that go up.

So it would be like two rows that go up. So it would be like, I mean, a section of bleachers, it's basically like there's an aisle down the middle and then rows. Say there's 20 people sitting all the way across, and then it goes 30 rows up or something. It's like that amount of people. Okay. And so Conan and all that stuff was like that. Conan, when he went to TBS, we needed that one.

That audience was pretty big. And the hard part with that one was when you'd go out and do comedy, you were actually pretty far away from the crowd. You were kind of over off to the, like, you know, like if you remember TBS Conan, when he walked out, where he walked out to stand up, but you'd walk out and make a right, and that's where Conan was sitting. So Conan was kind of in the middle. And so walked out to stand up, but you'd walk out and make a right. And that's where Conan was sitting. So Conan was kind of in the middle.

And so if you did stand up, you would, there's a pretty big gap between you and the, the person in the front row. And then there's other people that are way off to the side. They were pretty far away from you. I went to a taping of Conan. Like I've been with friends.

Who were on it? Yeah. But I don't think I've, I don't know if I've just like, I don't think I ever said it in like a crowd. But I've done it where I wasn't performing. So they did a five-year analysis of late-night TV from 2016 to 2020. What celebrity do you think was on the most?

What was the years? 2016 to 2020. I ask you this. I don't think you'll – I mean, some of you know, but I don't think you'll get it. Ryan Reynolds. That's a good guess. Could it be Tom Hanks?

Tiger Woods. Tom Hanks is a good guess. Ice Cube. 22 appearances over five seasons. Oh, really? How would I be up there? But that's over however many, it's more than five seasons. Oh, really? How would I be up there? But that's over, however many, it's more than five years.

Yeah, but I've done 10 over. Those are all panels though. You know what I mean? That's the count. You only got one panel. Oh, okay. One and a half. I would say a standup

could even probably be more than 22. I think it should. Well, I guess not. 22 over five years. That's a lot. Now, I don't know what they characterize him as.

Is he a rapper? Is he an actor? Because then they break it down by which actor was on the most. Yeah. Bryan Cranston. Yeah. But that was the peak of Breaking Bad. Right.

Athlete. Someone that's going to Shaq. Yep. Wow. Pretty good. Shaq. Very good. Yeah, I think it's someone that's going to be wanting to go on

and have the time to go on. Charles Barkley would be up there too. And reality TV star. Paris Hilton. The Situation. Kim Kardashian. Yeah. And then they did, broke it down by who has on the most athletes,

reality stars, actors, stuff like that. Oh, round it out. Ricky Gervais and Nick Kroll each had 20 appearances. Oh. Oh, Will Forte, Patton Oswalt, Martin Short each with 19. All funny guys. Jimmy Kimmel had the most musicians, athletes, and reality stars. Conan had the most comedians.

There you go. Stephen Colbert had the most politicians. None of this surprises us. No, no. Yeah. And James Corden had the most actors. Yeah. So Fallon wasn't mentioned.

So that's, I don't know. I thought that was- Well, Fallon, they was switching. Tonight Show was going back and forth. Tonight Show's been throwing a lot of comics on now. Conan's always been very, very good. I mean, Conan was the first one I did. And it was, Conan was always a very good, they always had comics on now conan has always been very very good i mean the conan was the first one i did and it was conan was always a very good they always had comics on they uh so yeah they did it

i remember my goal at the beginning was tried i wanted to do it once a year once i got on i was like i need i need to do it once a year i think i have yeah i don't know if yeah i think i've done it once every year i think i'm almost even still now i don't really now i don't know if, yeah, I think I've done it once every year, I think. I'm almost even still now. I don't really now, I don't think that's not as much of a goal I have now, but I still kind of keep an eye on it, and I think I've done it every year. Even 2020, you did it over Zoom, right? Yeah. And you did a set on it during COVID.

Yeah, I actually just did it. So I just did it. I've already done it this year. Yeah. You've averaged more than one a year. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And that's because I stick with this year. Yeah. You've averaged more than one a year. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

And that's because I stick with Tonight Show. Yeah. I think I could do other ones, but you just kind of stay loyal. It's like picking an airline. Yeah, you just kind of stay loyal. I mean, I did Conan at the beginning. Then it was like when Fallon went to – I just did Conan again, and then that's when I got with Leighton and with Fallon.

But then me and Fallon took that show out, and then we uh and there's like the navigating he tonight show and then and so then just you stay with michael cox who books at tonight show he's jp buck who booked conan was great great him and michael cox were uh for booker wise, they were just really, really good. They were really, they were great dealing with them were great. Uh, they just knew, you know, I mean, it's a whole thing when you first get in there, it's like, you know, it's hard. They're taking a comic. Usually it's your first time going to be on TV. And so you got to, they got to make sure that your, their jobs on the line to make sure they're getting the right person. And so JP at Conan was always really, really great. And then Michael Cox, who's at Tonight Show, I mean, he's been –

Tonight Show had a few different ones. I mean, I was going – when I was doing the Tonight Show, that was the thing. I used to be everybody's first – when they hired a new person, I ended up being a lot of people's first person. So that's why I had to run because they were switched. They were trying to find the right booker, which they have Michael Cox now who's the right booker.

And he's great. But then they, and not saying the others were bad. It was like, whatever they fit. I think someone, someone of them was at Cordon maybe now, but whatever reason they, you know, just switches around. But I was a lot of people's first. Cause it was like, not saying anything about me, but it was like, I've done the show.

I was a clean comment. It was like, I was a very safe to be like yeah just to get my wet my whistle i'll just book uh nate you know so when you walked out is what about it seems so different than you would have imagined if anything when i first did it yeah uh or even now if it was our first time what would it be like i guess it yeah it would be uh everything's smaller than you probably think. I mean, almost weirdly, I'm kind of used to that now, so I don't really think about that now. But I would say the fact that it's a room off to the side.

Like, you know, everything's a little bit smaller than you probably think it is going to be, and that's like anything that you would go see on TV. think it is going to be and that's like anything that you would go see on tv uh i would you know it's i don't know seeing people back seeing the famous people walk around backstage is kind of crazy like whoever you're on with you're like joey louis strife is my first conan i did she was a guest on it and uh so and she was a guest on another one too. Yeah, I remember that. And so I never met her, but you just see her walking. I remember seeing Val Kilmer. Val was like very funny.

He tweeted you, right? Yeah. He ended up like tweeting me and like, yeah, I remember Val. Val would just walk like through and you're like, I mean, he could just pop in your room. And I think he went to Julie Lou Stryfus and said he was getting married or something. And he just goes in her room and uh i think he went to julie louis dreyfus and said he was getting married or something and he just goes in her room he goes uh you're coming to my wedding she's like oh okay and then he walked away and that was it i don't know if it was even it was just like he just you know he was like his own dude yeah and then that's where he tweeted

something about me and then i responded then he didn't realize it was me and then he did and then i mean he was like but he was like a cool dude like and i didn't really you know what i don't even like i really talked to him there yeah it was only afterwards like kind of in social media because it's like you're not just walking up to people i remember seeing uh the guy from godfather what's the old man uh marlon brando no oh james con no i think it's godfather uh he was in a he was on conan a ton towards the end real skinny uh may he's he was old uh i want to say his name starts with an a uh godfather something al pacino no it's not like that i don't know okay think of it uh i think his name starts with an A.

I think he's in Godfather. I thought that's where he was from. I don't know. Like real skinny. Is there a guy that used to be on Conan from The Godfather? Looked up like that. Steve Buscemi? No.

Do they always come to your dressing room before the show? Abe Vigoda? Abe Vigoda. There you go. He was the Godfathere vagoda uh so uh i remember seeing him a few times because he would he would be on there a lot like he'd come on for whatever uh fallon does fallon always did conan i don't think did i don't think i ever talked to conan i think he would for he ended up knowing some people when he was friends i don't think did. I don't think I ever talked to Conan. I think he would for his, he ended up knowing some people when he was friends.

I don't think I really ever talked to Conan. Maybe afterwards when you stand there and say, what's up and blah, blah, whatever. And then he'll, then he kind of goes back. You know, it's a job. I mean, like you, you see it where you're like, yeah, these dudes are doing it every night. Like they get done with the show and like, even, even like us.

I mean, as a comic, when it's your first time, you're like it's like you're like i want to stay here forever and then but everybody else is like yeah dude i'll come and i gotta go do this for like five minutes and then i'll be back like you know they just kind of come in come out and then they leave uh i guess the more the bigger the star they get uh so i think they would go i think they probably go, I think they'd probably go to those. But Conan and them, they would stay. And Fallon stays. That's always a big deal. That's a big deal for comics.

The hosts that stay. The hosts that- What do you mean stay? After the show? No, stay and watch the set. Oh, right. Like Colbert would start doing some where you get on Colbert, but at the end of Colbert, they would just say, when the show was over, they would just have the audience stay and they tape five comics.

And they do five sets. And Colbert, he doesn't stay. And so then they're just like, we'll put it in whenever we need to put it in. So you wouldn't even know when you're going to be on. And then they would be like, all right, you're going to be on tomorrow. Which you're getting the point of being on, but there was something about the old school way is that's the the point is to be the guy's got to be there like that was the whole yeah that's everything that's the coolest part of a tonight show set now is when it pans out you can see the silhouette of jimmy fallon

laughing that's that that takes everything away you know it's like it's it's it's it feels businessy i mean not that you're not going to do it but it it's like the point of it is like you're like you want to make the guy laugh like that's the the host you make the host that was like if he's laughing the audience you know it's like it just made it great and that's what you know they do good with tonight show is like you see like fallon like sits there and you know when i just did this one where i did the panel it's like we stayed for gail the singer like and so i gotta sit there and like you sit there and you you're like listening to music and you're you know it's like you're kind of in the dark but you're watching and you're it's like that's the yeah that's everything dude like that's

uh so some i know some shows don't do that and you know i never dealt with that though i always had to host there i remember maybe the first time you ever went over to the couch after your set when he says good night fallon and i said to you uh look i think you need to smile more yeah because it made you look worried yeah and you told me you did it next time you said you thought about that yeah and then i've done it from here on yeah and then i take criticism there's a clip uh from a recent what is this this shows how far you've come yeah so this was on i got this large show into me i think someone sent me this too it was uh so jamie lynn spears did an interview on, I bet no one thought I was about to say that. It's like, you got to wrap your head around like, what? So Jamie Lynn Spears, she just did that interview, I guess, about Britney Spears.

I don't know anything about that. I don't know that. But whatever it was, she did some interview, I guess, I don't know the whole Britney and Jamie Lynn thing. Okay. I guess the, you know, I don't know the whole, I don't know the whole Britney and Jamie Lynn thing. Okay. But so this guy's talking about Jamie Lynn Spears on Britney Spears reaction interview. What is her body language reveal?

And this is a, these guys, I guess, study body language. There's going back to the setting. There's a comedian named Nate Bargatze. He's from Nashville. And when he sits, that's the most comfortable and confident looking guy sitting I've ever seen in my whole life. When he sits down on a talk show or on a podcast or whatever, I'll put up a picture of him.

If you check that out, this is the most relaxed guy, the most confident looking guy in the world. And he's a comedian. This guy is the most confident sitter I've ever seen in my whole life. That's pretty good. Coming a long way. Coming a long way. Go show, like, I don't know if we can even, the Jamie Lynn, like, see?

Look at her. She's miserable. I need to talk to her. You can counsel her. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she's not as competent of a sitter as you are, man. Yeah.

That's a very funny, I mean, look, that's awesome. That's such a funny compliment. He's the most competent sitter I've ever seen. See, I'm the greatest average American. And this guy. There's everything I do

that's the very average. I'm just, I'm on another level, dude. Like I'm on, I order McDonald's better. I do, I don't go to a nice restaurant. I go to the average

American places, but I crush it when I go there. Does he run? No, he sits better. a mcdonald's better i do i don't go to a nice restaurant i go to the average american places but i crush it when i go there does he run no he sits better than anybody yeah does he jog he goes he it's a it's a jog that looks like a run that's how like i don't ever get it i'm like i'm skinny enough but i'm still fat i'm not you know like i, I'm in the middle of everything, but I'm nailing it. No, they, yeah, it was very nice. That's a, you know, it is nice to know when you go on these things, it's not like you sit there and try. I intentionally do try to think, let me look comfortable. Let me, let me be aware. You do over time get better of, you're in front of people a lot.

So you're not as, I'm trying to make the experience of me even being here on this show, it needs to be the same as when, if I saw you and we were, when we had lunch together. Yeah. Like I want to see how close I can make these two things.

And if I can make, the closer those can get, I think it's the easier for you to be funnier and do what you do longer. Because the least amount you're trying and having to force it, like if you're a big character, if you're this, like that's exhausting.

So if I can get the audience and get you into, and this is what I think, but the closer I can make my me and stage presence be the same. And you're not always going to be like that. Like, I mean, you know, if you look at the material, I'm not, I'm not going to just be up there talking about nothing. So the materials I'm, there's actually jokes or you're, you know, it's like I'm this frustrated all the time. But as far as like my energy that I give off and everything, how close can you get those?

Closer I can make those, the better. Because then I'm doing it all the time. So now I'm practicing it 24 hours a day. So why would you not want that? You know, why would you not want to sit there? And so it is fun to hear that because it's uh you know it's like i messed with my legs crossed a lot it's just there's only i don't really know how to sit you always fit at that i was this jacket super made me confident too it's a kind of a thicker jacket that kind of like

it's not tight on me yeah and so like i feel i can sit more comfortable because i'm i don't feel like i'm you know like you're just not someone to do yeah you're like you sit there and like i mean because a lot of times when you go sit down on the chair like you can see people the hardest part i would say is i always think like you got to be comfortable like we're doing right so the grammys like so we go i do the grammys way to get, you got to get a tuxedo. So we got fitted for tuxedo. And these shoes I got, you're kind of like, well, they're not the most comfortable shoes. And I don't know. And it's like, the stylist is like, yeah, that's what it is.

It's not comfortable. And I'm like, but I mean, in my head, I'm like, well, I think you could get comfortable. Right, right. You could still do something. And I mean, the shoes are not, they're're not comfortable but they're not tennis shoes obviously they're they're like shoe like tuxedo shoes like our boots or so but it's interesting that i always think that well you gotta you could get you could there's some meat in the middle right like where you could go like then you then i think it helps you think outside the box and you think well i'm gonna what if i just wear

that's just someone could be like why he wears it and i'm not doing this but if you wore air maxes or something like you could just you get i think you get more comfortable and you get more confident i guess it's maybe the less you feel like you have to prove like you feel comfortable in your where you're at you don't feel you know i don't know no that was a very easy show to do, Ridiculousness 2. Oh, is that what that picture's from? Yeah, yeah. That's when it did, like, they just do a good job. You know, it's like, but it's, you are somewhat aware of it,

but you try to be like, I don't know. You're like, as long as I'm doing me, and I don't feel like I have to, I noticed, like, doing some, I've done a few, like, the animated stuff where you're doing the voice. And it's like if you're trying to create another voice that's not your voice and then it's like, well, you go do this and then I got to go do it again in three months.

And then it's like, well, I don't remember the voice I did. So it's like to me, it's like I'm like, that's how I always did everything. If I acted, if I did anything, I was like, you're getting this. If you either want this or you don't. Like, maybe I could be serious. Maybe I could be funny. Maybe I can do, I could go off that, but I can't not do this. But I mean, someone that's a character person, I guess, is completely different.

You know? But I don't know how to, I don't know how to get in that mindset. You could do voices. Kind of. Not of specific people, but just different kinds of voices. You can fluctuate. Yeah, I don't think it's bad. I mean, my voices on stage are all the same.

It's my voice. My wife is my voice. Me is my voice. Like every person I interact with, any interaction I talk about on stage, it's just my voice. Wow, that just came out that video it's already got 91 000 views yeah so a lot of people know a lot of people know i'm a confident sitter came out two days ago yeah what about uh daytime do you watch daytime um no do you today

show we don't know none of that none of the network Center. I think I like that it's on. I could see it being a great thing. But your mom does, right? I don't know. I mean, it's, I guess. Maybe she watches something. I don't think she watches it. I don't remember talking about it. Like, I don't, it's not like we just know, like, she watches the Today Show.

I don't think so. I thought, well, maybe growing up or something. I don't know. Oh, like you would be on yeah I think it was a zoo every morning it was just chaos

like our in the house yeah we're just not a we're not a getting you know you guys you had roosters waking you up

we watched the Ralph Emery show yeah y'all get them as a family have a family breakfast every morning we are never getting up in time to it not be just complete chaos. Yeah.

And so we would, there was no like quietness. And there was no, it was like, you're up, we're all up, we're moving. Yeah. And it's like, everybody's going to get out of the house now. Right. That was like, we never had morning anything. It was, you're lucky we got to the place that we were, you know, we were there. We had 6 a.m. family prayer every morning.

Yeah. My mom would yell from the foot of the steps, wake up, and we'd all come down. Yeah, that's good though. Sit in a circle in the living room. And then go back to bed? Every morning. You'd want to go back to bed, but you've got to get ready for school. Yeah.

Yeah, that's good. Ours would just be my sister. I mean, Abigail, she's nine years, ten years younger, nine and a half. And she would be, her just would have tangles. I just remember that. They would fight about combing her hair it is so much that i just i was like when we had a daughter i was like oh gosh this is gonna be a train wreck it's a nightmare like you're you're it hurts and you know turns out just abigail just just a her problem yeah Yeah, just an Abigail problem.

So, yeah, Harper does good. I mean, I pictured when we were like, you're having a girl, I was like, I just thought it's going to be blowouts of just – because that's what it was. And then now it's not. We have one. It's not – we have one kid versus three trying to get ready.

But I remember them fighting over that. But the tangles, I mean, that was only her, right? That was Abigail. Yeah. But she would just always have tangles in her hair

and like, he would just, to get them out, I gotta get them out. God damn it. I mean, it is just, if you could be at our house,

I mean, people wouldn't even know how to, I mean, I think a lot of families are like that. Like, you know, but it's, you know, it's funny when you go see another, like Laura's family is like a little more. It's like Laura, she doesn't have that where it's like, you know, it's the Bargettis. Yeah. We're the Bargettis. Like we, you just know about us.

Like, you know, if you spend the night, you're like, hey, it's going to be the Bargetti. It's going to get wild. in my family's wild we're going to get nothing's going to go as planned yeah and we're gonna but we'll be there we'll have a good time we'll have a good time so they'll like curb your enthusiasm there's just there's going to be some like and then two minutes later it's just like moved on to something else. Oh, we're fine. Yeah. Everybody's in the car and you're fine. Yeah.

Yeah. You move on. But it's, yeah, it's just complete. It's like New York City every morning just in a house until you get out of the house. I was reading about, as a fan, the best way to get on TV. Okay. Since I'm not going to go the comedy route. You're doing pretty good.

Morning talk shows in New York City is the best, the easiest way to get on. Okay. Because they have the crowds outside and I've been to New York before when

Katie Couric and those guys were down there. If you get there early enough and stand, you can get on television. Yeah. And have a sign or whatever. Yeah, yeah.

Laura and them tried to do it one time after New Year's. Laura and her friend, I think Katie or something. And they came home. We did shows at Caroline's. So we did the New Year's, the ball drop, saw it drop. We get home. And, you know, it's 3 in the morning.

And Laura and her friend is there and they're like, we'll go see the Today Show. Yeah. And so, you know, and I was like, just go do it. I mean, it's 4 in the morning. Just And so I was like, just go do it. I mean, it's four in the morning. Just stay up. You're never going to do something like this.

Go do it. They get signs. They do all the stuff. They go back down there. Not taping the show. So they just stood there, nothing. No one's there. That's what they say, New Year's Day.

I wouldn't think they'd be doing that. Yeah, well, they weren't. So they got all the way down. I mean, it's a whole thing getting back into the sea. It's not like you're like, I just run outside like you've seen an eclipse or something. It's a journey and then just nothing. You've never been to one, right? So you remember what's the ticket process? No, for one of these shows?

Yeah. I have no idea how it works. There's a website, One Iota, that I think lists all of the shows on one website. You can go there and try to get on. Some are easier. Fallon's one of the hardest ones. Yeah. John Oliver's very hard.

Some of the other ones are easier. And then Fallon will do a thing where he'll send an intern to a certain part of New York City. And you got to go find that intern. Yeah. And if you do it, you get tickets. Nick Thune. Is that who's on tonight? Yeah. Looks like to go find that intern. Yeah. If you do it, you get tickets. Nick Thune. Is that who's on tonight? Yeah.

Looks like it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's hard to get tickets when Fallon took over tonight's show. And I mean, it's still probably one of the hardest. But when he took it over, it was impossible. I mean, I remember if I had a guest, it was like you was impossible i mean i remember like if you had if i had a guest it was like you couldn't really bring someone i think i remember stories of like oprah during her heyday of like

brad pitt like couldn't get his mom on i don't know if that was true i don't know i have no idea i feel like i heard something like this yeah but it was like something like when when oprah would be giving stuff away or like or not even probably giving stuff away, but just going to her show and a taping. And it was something like even Brad Pitt was like, well, can my mom – and they're like, no. It's too – Oprah probably had to be the biggest, I would imagine. Yeah.

Laura watched Oprah every – she watched Oprah every day. She watches these – Dr. Phil. So, her biggest, she was way bigger than, like, what Ellen is? Yeah, I think so. I mean, Ellen's very big, and Ellen was, you know. But it's just the TV was different then. Yeah.

When Oprah was on. I mean, Oprah's, you know, Oprah's Oprah. It's, like, just its own, its own kind of thing, its own world. Yeah. Got her started. New Channel 5. Yep. Look at that.

That's right. Right after TSU? Yep. She was 19. Wow. She got hired. You were there? No, but my Chris Clark, who I worked with, was the one that hired her.

Yeah? Yeah. And when she had her 50th birthday party on the set and brought in all these celebrities, you were there no but my chris clark who i worked with was the one that hired her yeah yeah and when she had her like 50th birthday party on the set and brought in all these celebrities she flew him in oh that's cool that's really cool yeah yeah yeah that's great but yeah she was big as it is i mean one of the richest people in the world yeah yeah they would they do like they do uh this a sign of like people's success from Channel 5? That they have Oprah? Then maybe you, right under. There was a guy who was on Desperate Housewives.

Is that Terry Hatcher? Yeah, it was that show. There was a guy on that show who used to be in our sales department at Channel 5. Really? Was he a major actor in the show? I think he was one of the regulars. Maybe they get all y'all back together. You know? The panel,

the three of us. Do you remember the guy's name? I would know it if I saw it, I think. Dave Williams? Orson Hodge? James Denton. They would do... Right there at the top. Where? James Denton. Mike Delfino is his character name, but James Denton is his real name. Oh. This guy worked with you? I didn't work with him, but he used to be in the sales

department at Channel 5. So, no shirt on. This dude. With you right next to him. Me, him, and Oprah, the big three. Hey guys, I'm trying to be an actor. I'm trying to be a comedian. He goes, alright.

So, that would be you, him, and Oprah. I would like just to worry the questions. They all got to go to Oprah. They come to you, you go, oh, Brian Bates, have you ever met Oprah? They just ask you about Oprah still. They wouldn't even know what to ask. Not yet, right?

No, it's not right. Now is my first time. That's cool. That's cool. Yeah, that would be, but I wouldrah's you know her giving away stuff was the car giveaway is one of the biggest moments in tv history as far as talk show histories everybody got a car yeah um so this was in 2004 she's kicking off her season and i guess they quizzed the audience and asked them about who they all these people needed

a car oh yeah and they thought they were drawing just one underneath the seat yeah um but then when they started reaching everyone had a box containing keys 276 vehicles donated by pontiac wow all the owners end up paying several thousand dollars in income tax. But that's where the, you get a car, you get a car thing. Yeah. Happen.

Yeah. I mean, that's kind of like, I wonder how many get to keep the car versus. Yeah. That's the people bringing it back. But yeah. Anyway. Yeah.

I mean, I guess that's them breaking out the box before they open it oh wow and then everybody gets one yeah yeah yeah that's uh this is the craziest thing anybody's done on t i mean just to give out this many cars yeah well i thought ellen did good with doing some still like this spirit yes giving some way yeah i think she did good without blatantly... It's like, how do you... You get a helicopter. You get a helicopter.

Yeah, it was almost like you couldn't top that. And then, so it's like Ellen did a good job of... I feel like this is only number four of best Oprah show moments. Where do you see that at? The tops is number four. Oprah relives the famous car giveaway. How is it not number one well i think this is top 25 tv guides top of anything not just oh it's set oh uh it said on the thing

oprah uh top the things tv got top best oprah show you're right well i can't name another oprah show i can tell you one that i have on here. Tom Cruise. Ah, there you go. Jumping off the couch. So that's maybe. But I don't know what the other two are. Yeah. But Tom Cruise is on there.

This is number four. I re-watched the Tom Cruise. Would it say number three, two, and one? I mean, can you find it? Yeah, I'll look it up. Yeah. All right. The Tom Cruise thing, I mean, he does does that crazy but she defended him yeah she said in the spirit of the show the way that uh audience was

asking the way she was presenting the questions he was just playing along yeah into it yeah she kind of defended him as far as just how crazy he acted because they're that's just what made it the tones change on him of like being i think it was about that time when he was saying some other stuff that and they're like yo this dude's crazy yeah yeah and then of course he and katie holmes split up yeah not too long after that or i don't know how long it was but they did split up yeah that's what she was that's what he was jumping up and down about was talking about katie holmes yeah number two was the tom cruise moment number one is a flash mob,

which I don't even know what this is. What's number three? I almost think I know the flash mob. And this might be the first flash mob thing that ever happened. Yeah. And 2019 producers pulled off an over-the-top surprise for Oprah

with the help of tens of thousands of fans and the Black Eyed Peas. So they surprised her? Yes. Okay. okay yeah still the car thing's pretty yeah yeah i think the car thing i think people talk about that a lot more than this but i do i remember this this was towards the end like and then uh yeah a couple more uh well more than a couple larry king uh he and marlon brando marlon brando rarely ever interviews. And then he did a sit down with him, I think at his house and they sang together and kissed at the end. Yeah. It was very,

very weird. It's at the very end of this clip, but it's just so bizarre. Yeah. It's already, it's bizarre from the job, dude. There's,

you know, sometimes you get to sit when, when television was four by three. Yeah. Like the, you had to sit a lot closer. dude there's you know sometimes you gotta sit when when television was four by three yeah like the you had to sit a lot closer so it just looks super awkward to begin with but he like he's only marlon brando never did interviews no i think it was the first one in a while yeah uh i don't know like and then the other it's bizarre the other larry king when i have which you've probably seen is the one with

seinfeld yeah where seinfeld gets very upset yes about his question i watched it again last night it's just very funny yeah uh who told yeah yeah do you think he's actually upset about that i think he's annoyed i could see so it's done this is a very small scale of this i don't want to always act like i have some i always try to put myself in the position of whatever they're in and i could see like you know he's doing for him the biggest show on the planet and doing Larry King the biggest talk show interview on the planet and it's like this is what you like you're supposed to be

different dude you just asked me everything that everybody else asked me like and you're like so I thought this was supposed to be special and it's just not the question he asked wasn't like everyone else because he seemed clueless oh yeah 9 years 180 episodes you gave it up right i did they didn't

cancel you you canceled them you're not aware of this no i'm asking you you think i got canceled are you under the impression that i got canceled i've hurt you jerry i thought that was pretty well documented this is a show is this still singing Don't most shows go down a little? Most people do also. But, yeah, no, I went off the air. I was the number one show on television, Larry. Do you know who I am? Jewish guy, Brooklyn.

Yes. Okay. 75 million viewers, last episode. Boy, don't take it so bad. Well, that's the big difference between being cancelled and being number one okay I'm sorry we'll be right back

jeez can we get a resume in here for me because I can do over we'll be right back yeah that's not knowing that's insane yeah yeah that's pretty funny it's just very like amateurish it's like i it comes off like i don't care and it's like that would be and like when you do like i you know sometimes you can call

like and again this is not but if i like you do like a morning radio show and you call and you have to call in to promote shows like i would and i'm not saying the person has to know but they're just being like so what do you do you're like i'm a stand-up comedy what are people what kind of jokes you'd like you like there's no effort and to be like well just have a conversation with me at least like you know i'm not you don't have to know me, but at least act like you am on this show. Yeah. I know I'm not saying that you need me on this show, but at least. Yeah, I mean, from my TV days, that had always made,

because do some basic research. The producer should at least give you who this person is so you don't have to ask that dumb question. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I've been asked. Yeah, yeah i mean you have been asked where they just have no like you're basically going on your commercial and you go i'm a stand-up comedian i talk about my family uh and a lot of stuff like that and i've been doing show like you're just that and that's the whole reason and then that's all you're kind of saying you're like well that takes

everything that's not even why would he may even come because of that uh-huh so you're kind of saying. You're like, well, that takes everything. That's not even, why would he even come because of that? So you're like, at least like be fun. And I think that's the magnified version. It's everything. People don't care. It's Larry King probably in his prime of doesn't like, who am I interviewing? Like it's, you know, in a a weird way like it'll be fine like almost like hey should we prepare you with some stuff he's like i'm larry king dude i got it yeah and then you insulting to be like he's you know maybe when he's in his

prime he's not watching you know in a way you could see it like now, like someone like, like I don't watch Yellowstone. Right. So if someone comes and talks to me about Yellowstone, I'll be like, I don't, you know, it's like, yeah, is it like a big show? And you're like, and if someone that does is like, are you crazy? Like it's the biggest show, dude. Like it's the, but you could be like, oh, it's not in my world, but that's all. But as an interviewer, you interviewer, it's not about your world. Yes. It's about you asking that person. You have to be in that person's world.

Yeah. So you're being like, well, this is what people like. How we get viewers is- And it's like you said, the guy said to you one time, I'm sorry, I'm an idiot. Yeah. Put it on yourself if you don't know the person. Don't make them feel bad. Yeah.

Tony Korn has just said that it's like not like he goes i feel like i'm uh he like he's like i'm like a idiot out of the loop not no i can't believe i didn't know who this guy was i'm like but throws it on like he's doing so great and i'm the you know i'm caught up it's like at least it's a nice way and being like yeah he why should he know who i am but you're it's a very polite way people politeness is like kind of gone sometimes our politeness can be gone and it's like it's just a polite way of just saying like yeah just blame you like it's like it's just nice to say that like so you don't just go like i don't know who this person is or like there's gonna be people you don't know i don't watch tv like i used to because i i can't i don't have i'm never around

it i'm not i don't have enough time and so but it's like i'm not gonna be act like it's like no one's watching yellowstone or no one's watching soprano you know but i don't what is that show like who watches that i mean there's a lot of shows i have like shawshank that's me being ridiculous my parents even think that's ridiculous i haven't seen it so that's me being stupid that i haven't seen it. That's not like, it's like, I don't know if Shawshank's that great. I never saw it. You're like, well, you're the problem. And that would be, comes off with that, you know, with Larry King there.

You're like, you're the, you know. Yeah. I'd be interested if he thought that was a mistake on his behalf. Who, Larry King? Yeah. He should, yeah. I would almost like if he ever was like, that's my most embarrassing, you know, to be like, I just took it too casual.

Yeah. I did an interview. I remember one time like hiring someone and they were about being a lawyer. This is going to be like you have to get a lawyer. And so I went and he talked to like three lawyers trying to see which one you're going to pick. And they're all great. But there was one that was like, it wasn't like I was even, no one knew me. Like, you know, I was like starting to come up.

But I remember when we interviewed him, it was too like casual and formal. And it was like, this is not. And I mean, I think he even got, maybe he got weak. I don't know if you hear this. Too casual and informal? Yeah. The interview was like a little too like and i i think that was like an angle of because we knew a lot of people like it's like knew a lot of comics but i remember just being like i i remember one thing to fill some professional like you're not saying he's not professional he's extremely professional but i wanted to be like you know it to be like, you know, it was like kind of a big, like it was crazy that I'm even getting to talk to a lawyer.

I was like, I can't believe I'm even getting a lawyer. Like this is show business. Like this is a big moment in your own career just to be like, golly, can you imagine? Even when someone's like, ah, my lawyer did it. You're like, I don't even know what that means. Like how do you get a lawyer? Like how would you even have a lawyer?

So if you get to the point of getting to hire a lawyer you want to like you want to feel special right and you want to feel like you know when you go talk to agents and managers for the first time you want them to you don't want to overdo it like you know everybody knows that entourage scene where they're all like it's them showing you mcdonald's and they you want a balance of that where you're either you know you got to just read the room it's really take a chance but like at the time when it's first this was my first kind of like i haven't seen anything you want to go and i met with uh when i switched agents and they like when i did that like it's a there's a show that kind of gets put in they sit there and they and you want that

feeling and uh it takes you know and so like, yeah, I don't know what the whole point of this, but. Well, the point is you've been, so for the longest time before that, you've been, your whole life has been trying to sell yourself to people. Yes. And then it comes around and people are trying to sell themselves to you. Yes. And you're like, oh, this is fun. It's crazy.

Let me just sit back. Yeah. Y'all are trying to impress me. And then this dude rolls up, sweatpants. He's like, what's up, dude? Are you looking for a lawyer? You're like, well, not really. And it might be you want him to be like that when it's time to be like that.

Off the clock. Yeah. Or it's like, I want to be able to be that comfortable to call you whenever I want to call you, and I don't feel. But I also want to be able to see the professionalism. I mean, that's the thing. Yeah. In comedy, like you get, you want a manager, you want an agent, you want all these things because you're like, I'm supposed to have these things. I would say you got to, you got to want to want them. And then you realize you don't need, you usually probably don't need a manager as quick as you think you do, but it's good to want one and good to try to get one. And then

you also got to do it because you need to see what you, you know, what you want and what you, you know, when it doesn't work, you need to know why it doesn't work. And you need to know like, all right, I didn't gel with this or I didn't fit in with that. Or I didn't, you know, it's like a lot of it could be just like, you look at like the comedian's path you want. And some of it's a bit of that where you're going like, I fit in. I was talking about, I'm with all basically Gaffigan's people. Well, I fit in with Gaffigan. We're kind of along the, you know, so it's like, it makes sense for me to be with that kind of world. Like that's the world that I'll probably be like, you know, that you kind of deal with versus

if you're Segura and Burr and they might have the same person. Cause that's, they might fit in that kind of, you kind of just go like, all right, all right, I feel like I'm this kind of person, so I'll go with the person that gets, you know. Not saying you have to follow them exactly, but you can find your own. I mean, I had, I don't know. Yeah. When people who try to be funny on talk shows, can you pull up that Tyra Banks clip?

Tyra Banks comes on her show and tells the audience comes out and says i got bit today by a rabid dog yeah and i'm not myself today then sits down for a real interview with with a person after telling the cvr and they're all excited to be there you play it she just sit down with this person about to interview him. So she's coughing foam out of her mouth. Look, this woman's disturbed. Yeah. Oh, that's insane.

The audience is like, yeah. It's bombing so bad. Yeah. Yeah. Ugh. Yeah. That's uncomfortable to watch, dude. Yeah. Oh, that's insane. The audience. It's bombing so bad. Yeah. Yeah. Ugh. Yeah. That's uncomfortable to watch, dude. Yeah. All right.

Well, that's just when non-comedians try to do something like that, that's what happens. Yeah. I've met Tyra Banks. Very awesome. Where? Chris Rock. Opened for Chris Rock. She came to the show.

She came by? We all went out to eat afterwards. And she was awesome. She was real down to earth. Really. She was like, I all went out to eat afterwards. And she was awesome. Like, it was like, she was like real down to earth. Like, really. She was like, y'all did great. Like, just hung out. Like, just chilled out.

Like, you know. And then I remember we took a car to go get, we took a car to, from the Seattle to go eat. And then we were actually going to a plane and flying. Maybe we were in Vancouver or Seattle. I don't remember. But we took a – we were flying. I got to fly private with him, like, somewhere. But we go and – maybe we were in Vancouver.

I don't know. But we go eat at a place, and I remember we had paparazzi chase us. Really? Yeah, and it was, crazy chasiness like really like I mean in cars in cars yeah and so we were driving to go try to eat somewhere and because Tara and Tyra Banks and Chris Rock were they were I mean just flooring it driving around I mean it looked like a police chase and you would see them behind you and you're like is it you're like is that hat and then uh christian rock's like shitty dude got out and was like hey go like they would they parked behind us

whatever we went and ate everybody was nice they kept the like restaurant open they were super cool tiring them to chris they took pictures with everybody like it was like a great you know thing and then we drove to the airport and a guy then followed us again to the airport, to his plane. And so he drives, because you're private, you can just drive right to the plane. So they drive us to the plane and the guy gets parked,

gets out of the car and runs onto the tarmac. Oh my gosh. And then someone like stopped him and was like, you can't be out here. You know, it was crazy. Wow.

And he was like, trying to take pictures and stuff. Yeah, it's the only time I've ever really seen like. Where was that? In Vancouver? I want to say, or Seattle.

I can't, it was like, we that? In Vancouver? I want to say, or Seattle. I can't. It was like, we were maybe going one versus the other. Like, but Tyra Banks wasn't on the plane, but she just went to eat with us. But them following us. Because I remember you were just like. That aggressively. Yeah, it was like crazy. It was like, man, am I crazy?

Or is this car. There's a car that's really trying to like stay behind us. And that's kind of, you know, and it's like, yeah, I think it's a dude trying to get these pictures. Man. There's no video of this. So I defend her. I'm sorry, Tyra.

I didn't know all this when I shot that. I can see you think something's good. You're like, ah, I would try it. And then it's, you know. It's tough about an act out like that. Like, you can't bail out of it. You just got to keep going. Like, she knows it's kind of bombing right when she starts. Got to finish this, dude. tough about an act out like that like you can't bail out of it you just got to keep going like

she knows it's kind of bombing right when she starts gotta finish this dude well to go bark and you know it's like yeah i mean it's crazy uh all right a guy died on set on the dick cavett show this never never got released but he was a septuagenarian what What is that? Is that 80? Fear of long words. Septuagenarian is 70 or 80. Is that nine? I think it's 70. Oh, okay. What? Caught himself like an old person.

What do they call septuagenarian? Somebody who's 70 to 90. This says 70 to 79. 70, wow. There was a name for these people? Wow, 70 to 79. Somebody in their 70s, yeah. What is... You ever heard What is, whoever says that?

Eric does all the time. Who, I've never even heard, why would you not just say I'm in my 70s? Or what are the 50s called? I can't call myself that. Yeah, you're a Quinn Quaginarian, dude. Quinn, that's insane. That's somebody in their 50s. Who does that?

Who would do this? Do we have 40s or does it not go like? I think 40s, they're like, get over yourself. Oh, 30-year-old is a tricenarian. I'm a quadriganarian. Quadriplegic. This is ridiculous. Who just goes, they're in their 70s.

That's what you say. Have you ever heard this? I've heard it in articles. I've never heard anyone call themselves that. Have you ever octogenarian for somebody in their 80s? No, never even. Maybe we're reading different things. But is it like you're talking about a broad,

like being like typical people that are like, we assume this person was, I don't know. Why would you not say the 80s? I mean, it's not using super casual conversations, but like, I don't know, I've never, why would you not say the 80s? I mean, it's not using super casual conversations, but like, I don't know, a news piece or something, and they're referring to. But like, when do you go learn this word in school? Like when, what day do you just figure it out over time?

I think just somebody uses it around you and you go, oh, what is that? And they say it. And then, yeah. And then you want to use it. Okay. It feels good to use a word that somebody else has to look up. So, okay. All right.

So it's not like they go, hey, today's the day we're going to, you know, we just describe old people. And I'm like, I missed all these words. No, I don't think it's like that. And I just don't think I ever talked to people. I was never in a business setting. But I guarantee you, this week, you'll find an opportunity to use this word. I won't use it because I would.

I know you won't because you don't want to. You're not that kind of guy. I'm not the guy that makes someone feel bad. Right. And so I would think you, using that word, you like to look down on people. So any moment that you could be like. Down is where some people are, Nate.

Down is where some people are. So it would be, yeah, this would be a perfect. Oh, yeah. Like, I always think, I think you would know that I'm trying to use, like, that's why I would never use those words because I would always be like, well, I feel like you know I'm trying to use this word. Yeah. And I'm acting like I know it and I didn't know it. I think it's like misleading. So even when someone would use that word, I'd want to be like,

how do you even know what that word means? And then you'd be like, well, I've heard it. Even if I heard it 10 years ago, I'd be like, yeah, I didn't know what it was until now. I feel like it's all misleading. And you're going to go, that's not the word neither of us want to use. I think somebody uses this word, no one wants to use that word.

It's only being used out of that, out of trying to look down. There's no, nobody nobody is like if you go instead of saying sex engineering do you mind if i just say they were in the 60s and no one's gonna be like yeah no one's gonna be like i actually prefer you say we're trying to have a high level conversation here so could you actually say sex engineering no they would be like no yeah of course do you 60 i don't even know what the other one meant. That's what I think.

Yeah. This is insane. I've never even. It's a whole new thing you didn't know about. Yeah. I mean, I'm in my quads and I have never heard this. And I never.

Well, anyway, this septuagenarian was on the Dick Cavett show. He called himself Mr. Organic, talked about his new, his health tips, including urine soaked asparagus. And he,

he boldly said he was going to reach the age of a hundred. Then the next guest comes out. And while they're interviewing him, the first guy falls asleep, or at least it appears it does. Turns out later, they found out he was dead. He had died of a heart attack on the set.

And they didn't show it? They didn't show it. And I saw an interview with Dick Cavett asking, why didn't you ever show it? He said, it happened so close to airtime that they weren't even sure if the family had been notified yet. Yeah. Wow.

Yeah. Nowadays, obviously, somebody would find a clip of it. But this is 1971. Yeah. Some decency. You had some decency back then. I know. Different era.

Yeah. Yeah. Then, now, it'd be out before it even – it would be running before the episode. Oh, yeah. It would be like DVR in the episode to go – Tune in to see. Tune in tonight to watch Guy die on air. The only thing I remember about that when I was a kid – now it's all the time.

Yeah. Dick Cavett. I don't remember Dick Cavett. Phil Donahue. Yeah. Yeah, I remember Phil Donahue. Well, Geraldo Rivera. There was a fight that broke out on Geraldo. Yeah. And, Phil Donahue. Yeah. No. Yeah, I remember Phil Donahue. Well, Geraldo Rivera, there was a fight that broke out on Geraldo.

Yeah. And he got his nose broken. Yeah. And that made news before it aired. So the day it aired, we set our VCR to record it. Yeah. That was a big deal. That was when there was chaos happening.

And it was like, oh, yeah. Big fight. Golly. Yeah. Yeah. it was like oh yeah big fight golly uh yeah so this was when yeah or although it looks exactly the same now by the way could he be the most famous mustache hitler probably yeah but it's not in the same way grouchoel Marks. I agree. They're very different. They're very different personalities. So it's like, I think if you're,

yeah, if you go, what's a famous mustache, you're not going to, you know, it's like, uh, Tom Selleck.

Tom Selleck. You said Sam Elliott. No, I said Charlie Chaplin and, uh, Gretel Marks. Oh, yeah.

Back in the day, man, they just used to, they just aired stuff that was, uh, I mean mean are like having stuff you like needed that stuff and now you're in a thing world where you're like there's too much of that stuff yeah you're seeing too there's too many fights there's too many i mean

there's what's the uh isn't there a whole youtube that's like world star yeah isn't that the whole every video is a fight right that's crazy so you're like there's a whole youtube that's set aside youtube was like not even enough that they go we need its own its own platform its own platform is just fight videos and there's thousands and millions oh yeah a lot of stuff yeah how insane is that a lot of good stuff you got to take it in moderation though yeah you can't i've never been on there you should go on there every now and then i don't just see what's going on it's i get uncomfortable now yeah it's pretty like it doesn't you're you're not even your source of entertainment now is just uh watching someone's life uh low point of their

life and like you're and it's like i don't the fun of that is to be like why should i watch that is true that's not you're just like all you're you're rooting for the this we talked about now you're just you're rooting for the sadness you think everybody's dumber than you because your only entertainment is this dumb dumb dumb dumb so you only because you think well i'm not doing that so imagine that's the whole world and you're like it's not the whole world reality shows are like that yeah you're it's the rare rarity that you're that they even caught that on video but now you have phones everywhere so you're like but it's not everybody right it's not it's not even remotely and if you think it's everybody well then now you're part of the you're part of the problem the fact that you just think

well i guess that's everybody so i guess i'm they're not me and you're like no most people are you right that's actually rare yeah how many people could you walk up how many people could you go find that have been done a world star hip-hop video i walk around the rest of your life you probably might never run into someone that's been so you got to think about that but then everybody thinks no that's everybody so they think in my neighborhood 90 of my neighborhood is people fighting on world ship instead of going no no dude like zero percent of your neighborhood's fighting on world like it maybe depends on your neighborhood maybe you have a neighborhood that's uh more fighting but you know what i mean like everybody that's like everybody treat everybody nice assume everybody you meet is a nice person because the odds of you meeting a serial killer are zero.

Now, when you do, it's very bad because then they do the serial killing thing. But the general aspect of it, not saying you don't, you know, you go, the odds of you, and if everybody just interacted with every human being like that, going, the odds of this person being crazy, the odds of me being smarter than this person are probably not high. You think you've ever shaken hands with a murderer? I wonder sometimes, would you walk around someone that's like, they've killed someone, and how many people is it?

But it can't be that many. There was a serial killer at Vol State that we talked about. Did we figure out if you were there at the same time? I don't know. You talking about the fast food killer? Yeah, it was in the late 90s. Is that when you were at Vol State? Yeah.

You could have had a class with him. I could have had a class with him. And in his sentencing. I always felt like he was in another place. In his sentencing, his defense asked, he shouldn't be sentenced to the full extent because he has a broken brain that was the yeah and they said he's not mentally capable and then the prosecution said well if that's true how did he get straight a's at vol state yeah that was the

argument i didn't even get straight a's i think i could i think I have enough video that if I did something, they would be like, I could probably be like his brain's broken. Yeah. Like I have enough that they would, they could just go through this podcast and just be like, we could pull enough like horse divorce and they'd be like. Come on. And I mean, the judge would be like, I'm uncomfortable watching it. Like even, he's like just. Just the tear share. I've already watched.

The tear share. He's like. I've already watched the murder video. But now the judge is like, I can't. He's like just the tear share the tear share of it he's like i've already watched the murder video but now the judge is like i can't i can't people are crying in the jury yeah the family's like just let him let him go i don't even i don't think he should be in jail i don't even think he should be i don't even know if he knows what's going on a couple more and phil donahue show 1985 a bunch of people started fainting in the studio audience. One at a time, they started collapsing, and they thought something was going on. On purpose?

Turns out later, they found out they faked it. There were a group of people that all faked it, and they were with an organization called Fight Against Idiotic Neurotic Television, called Faint. Oh. Oh. That's pretty smart. Yeah. And so they go on TV and faint.

That's fun. Yeah, they thought There was like a gas In the room Or it was overheated Or whatever Yeah A couple of recent ones Dakota Johnson

Calling out Ellen On her show This was just a couple Years ago For not coming To her birthday party Do you know this Oh yeah

No She called Ellen says Why didn't I get invited And she's like Actually you were And she won't let it go And finally

Holds Ellen And Ellen has To ask the producer She's like Oh I was out of town yeah we don't have to watch it but yeah i don't think there's no way we could watch it and then the uh cash me outside girl yeah that was just a couple years ago dr phil that girl got famous yeah she became a rap star she earned a 2018 billboard music award nomination for top female

rap artist along with cardi b and nikki minaj oh yeah bad bunny that's her name bad bunny is she like good or she has whoever's producing her stuff is she got like legit people behind her yeah so it all sounds super legit that's the thing like nowadays if it's like that's the that's the part that gets hard with like entertaining is like you just like you're like just give me a little like these people behind the scenes are so good that they're like just give me a little fame and i can if if like if if there's fame and like you like this person they can probably we can do whatever if do people like her or do people like you know if people are like yeah i don't mind this girl like i don't know there's something about her that you kind of like like because i don't think that's something you can't you gotta have something yeah it's gotta be something that you kind of like. Because I don't think that's something you can't. You got to have something.

It's got to be something that makes you want to like this person. But now they're just so good that they're like, yeah, it doesn't matter. You like her? Yeah, everybody kind of likes her. You kind of can't turn away from her. So you're like, all right. I mean, we can get everybody to do it. And you'd be like, you could do whatever you want to do.

Do it with Brian? Trying to get a rap career started? I mean, we can get everybody to do it. Yeah. You know? And you'd be like, you could do whatever you want to do. Do it with Brian? Hmm? Trying to get a rap career started? I mean, he probably could. Better chance of comedy. And then he'd be on his own out there. Yeah. Bad breakfast.

Bad breakfast. Yeah. Shows are at, from 7 to 9. Rap show. Rap show, 7 to 9. Rap show. Rap show, 7 to 9 a.m. Yeah. Instead of like 3 a.m. or something to take the stage, 7 to 9? Yeah.

He's so, you're so like, yours is like, his is so late. They start at 7 a.m. And they go, and they just angle it like that way. Do you think 3 a.m. is late? they start at 7 a.m and they go and they just angle it like that way do you think 3 a.m 3 a.m is late you ever done 7 a.m and you're like actually no that is crazy that's way later he goes yeah dude that's the latest you could do yeah and it's actually just working out because they're like that's like you know he gets up at five he's a couple hours to get his you know like your c-pap off c-AP off. He kind of gets out of bed and goes and does his show. But like, yeah.

But if you sell it as going like, you couldn't party until 7 a.m.? Maybe you're the weak one. Right. And then you're like, I saw him doing his morning walk. You know, like he goes. You just saw him like, he's a Bonnaroo. Yeah, he makes a couple of laughs around the. The weights in his hands. Yeah, he's got the weights in, he's at Bonnaroo. Yeah, he makes a couple of laps around there. The weights in his hand.

Yeah, he's got the weights in his hand around Bonnaroo. And I just see him in a track suit. The two and a half pounders? Yeah, and he just makes his little, he goes, that's the same, that's bad breakfast? Saw him at the mall. Yeah. The mall walking. I think my mom, I think my mom went to – my mom remembers him.

He was – you were already at high school. He was out of high school. My mom was – I think she's Bad Baby, actually, not Bad Bunny. I'll get trashed for that. I apologize. Well, then I could be Bad Bunny. Yeah, you could be Bad Bunny.

All right, I do have a couple where I keep – Wendy Williams, you'll love her. Dua Lipa, she couldn't say her name, so she was called her Dua Peep. Yeah. And she kept saying... Not trying to be funny, just can't say it. Uh-huh. To the point where now she's got like a...

People call her Dua Peep. Oh, they changed the person's name. Well, she didn't change it officially, but she goes with it now because Wendy Williams just couldn't say it. Jerry Lawler slapping Andy Kaufman on Letterman. Jim Everett on Jim Rome. Yeah, I was about to say that.

I remember that one. Yeah, do you know this? I do know this, and I'm curious your thoughts on it. As far as whether it's fake or not? No, as far as, I remember watching remember I was very young watching this clip. And can you explain what it is? Jim Everett and Jim Rome. And he keeps calling him.

Chris Everett, who's a female tennis player. Right. And basically saying you're soft because he's LA Rams quarterback. And I guess Jim Rome's probably in LA. And he tells him, you call me that one more time. You'll see what happens. And he does. And then he knocks the table over, shoves him down.

Yeah. That's the gist of it. And it's good. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I remember seeing that as a young kid and being like, oh, you shouldn't have done that. And then my dad or my grandpa was like, no, he did. I mean, he had to.

Don't call me Chris. Yeah. I mean, he was just being disrespected to his face like this over and over again. And he tells them, don't do that. I think he called him that for years. Yeah. He finally came on their head enough. We got a long way to go.

We do. We got a long way to go. And then it's, yeah, then he. It's good to be here with you, though. Well, it's good to see you. It's great. I used to listen to Jim Rome a bunch. Jim Rome was funny.

I was like, Jim Rome would always be. He would go on some rants, and Jim Rome would be very, very funny. Chris. I was always a big, you know, yeah. Oh, that's awesome. I just started like welling on him. Love it. And that's like somewhere you go, yeah, that's your fault. Like you wanted that, like you called him that, you're doing it on purpose.

He asked you to stop. Yeah, like, I mean, he should have hit you probably. He should have, like, if he would have been just really lay you out and then be like and then he could be like yeah yeah i'm not i have no worries i don't feel bad about it like yeah it's you know it's guys asking for it right yeah i mean just recently someone tweeted what's one athlete do you most want to punch and jim everett said jim rome and he's like oh wait you said athlete so he's still oh yeah it's still a thing between them yeah we might be yeah he could be unless he's being funny he could be funny uh yeah i could see yeah yeah got a little mess here all right i know some worst talk shows uh this is according to ratings not my opinion pat sajak

show i know henry said that it was killing but not according to my Not my opinion Pat Sajak show I know Henry said That it was killing But not according To my research It didn't last very long And the Pat Sajak show He was He was a weatherman In Nashville

Yeah Channel 4 He took Dan Miller The long time anchor Channel 4 As his sidekick To LA with him Yeah

And just didn't work out Dan Miller came back To Nashville And went back To anchoring the news For what station? Channel 4 WSMV Oh okay I thought this was Another guy above you And just didn't work out. Dan Miller came back to Nashville and went back to anchoring the news. For what station? Channel 4.

WSMV. Oh, okay. I thought this was another guy above you on News Channel 5. The Chevy Chase Show. Yeah. Aired on Fox. I remember this. It lasted for five weeks.

And then it was canceled. Yeah. They're all trying to go up against Carson, especially when Carson left. And they just couldn't do it. Magic Johnson had the magic hour. Yeah. What. Yeah. Yeah. How long that last? Uh,

not very long. His sidekick was Craig Shoemaker. Yeah. Okay. Arsenio Hall, I think show did really good, right? Arsenio did.

Yeah. It was like a great one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How long was he on? I don't have it on. He was on a long time. Yeah. And then he made a comeback a few years ago, don't have a... He wasn't on... He was on a long time.

Yeah. And then he made a comeback a few years ago, right? Yeah, yeah, but I don't think that went good. No. But the Arsenio Hall show

was like a big show. Yeah, I mean, when Bill Clinton played the saxophone on there, I think that helped this presidential campaign. Yeah. So the first wave of it

was 89 through 94. Yeah. So it's not like it's crazy long. It was six seasons. Yeah. I would have thought longer. 19 years later it was revamped for one season yeah it's just not the same yeah it's it's it's you know i think

sometimes with all that stuff like sometimes these things shows need to feel more off the cuff in a weird way and like so when like bill clinton playing saxophone like or something like that it's like it feels like very different you've seen something different i think now like stuff feels too when you make something new it feels too like cookie cutter or too like here's the formula like carson like was you don't know who's gonna walk the door you don't know who's gonna sit there you're gonna go you don't know what he's gonna do you're gonna it was like that was like the it was like a hang you felt like i'm hanging with the dudes and it was like probably almost like a podcast for the first like don rickles coming by like all these guys come by like it had that kind of feel to it and it didn't feel like here's this celebrity that i don't know

anything about and they sit down and they don't know you know it's like there's no like uh sometimes there grew a poor in the fact that like it's yeah, just have people on and like be, and Arsenio would have had that feeling of just being like, you know, it's like a dude. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. The other thing I was going to say, I don't know if I said it last time, Fallon, I think said my name right this time, Bargetzi.

Oh, really? Oh, was it the first time? Yeah. He said the two B. We might talk about it next time. Cause he's already said Bargetzi. Yeah. I don't think I, I didn't? Yeah, he said it to me. We might talk about it next time. Because he's already said Bargatze. Yeah. I don't think I – I didn't say anything to him.

I think someone, like either of my pubs, someone said something. And he said it to me later. I was like laughing. I was like, I'll go – next time we go on, I was like, I'll just talk about you saying it that way. Because I think we say it wrong as our family. I think we're the ones that's wrong. Bargetze.

I think Bargetze is – I think we say it with an E, and then when we say it wrong, it should be Bargotzi. Yeah. But it was funny to be like, that was the first. I just was like, I never said, I don't even hear it. Yeah. I just go, yeah, yeah. It's Bargotzi or Bargetzi.

I think if you're in that world, I'm like, pretty good. Yeah, exactly. You turn around for sure. Turn around. I turn around. A couple more. Alan Thicke from Growing Pains. Remember that?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, talk show. Thick of the Night. Big in Canada. Didn't work in the U.S. And John McEnroe, a show on CNBC from July to December of 2004. It twice garnered a Nielsen rating of 0.0.

Literally no one watched it. Is it literally zero people? No, it would be a really small amount. So that means like, I mean, just very, very small. Did not even register. I mean, it's a cool looking. Can you imagine being on a show and you're like, nobody, nobody's watching this. I think I did a, I mean, you can tell me, Can you imagine being on a show and you're like, nobody.

Nobody's watching this. I think I did a – I mean, you can tell I do like a late night – or not a late night set, but I've done a stand-up set on something, and you're just like, not one person. I did one, New England Sports Network, N-E-S-N, New England Sports Network, and they aired a comedy thing, and I remember doing it, and I remember I never had a person go, Hey, I saw that. Never one. And I think I remember eventually someone saw it at,

it was on after a hockey game, like at a bar. Like, so it was like, they showed it like that. But it was funny to be like. Audio off. Yeah. Just funny to be. Yeah. Audio. Like, it's just crazy to be like, you're like,. But it was funny to be like. Audio off. Yeah, just funny to be. Yeah, audio off. It's just crazy to be like, you go on TV and you're like, no, zero.

It's like, yeah, that's good. Do you remember when Hugh Grant was on Leno right after he got arrested? Yeah. I think that switched Leno to first place. Oh, really? I think he and Letterman were back and forth. I think Letterman was. I've read this somewhere. That interview, everyone watched. Leno was really? I think he and Letterman were back and forth. I think Letterman was, I've read this somewhere. That interview, everyone watched.

Leno was funny, I guess. Yeah. And I've read that that kind of like was the beginning of him taking over first place. Well, it probably humanized Hugh Grant. Yep. Like Leno's a much better, if I was Hugh Grant, I'd rather go to Leno.

Leno's going to be, he's going to handle, he'll be able to make you, that's what a comic should do, going to handle he'll be able to make you that's what a comic should do is like i should be able to make you like be like this person's a human this person made a mistake i'm not going to just like you know i don't want to feel like i'm the audience yelling at you everybody can make their own decision on how they want to interact with or react to this guy from here on out it's not right what he did or whatever you know was and so it's like you got to be like, it's like where Letterman's

the opposite of that. Where Letterman's, it's more you do what it's supposed to do. I don't think Letterman's, I think if you met Letterman, I bet I've never met him. And I imagine

it's probably not the best time. I can't imagine it being where I've talked to Leno and it's the best. You could sit here and we could talk to Leno. We just talk comedy and be like, we're just hanging out with a buddy. And I think if you were around Letterman, unless you're maybe like three people, you would be like, this is a nightmare.

And that goes a long way. And you've got to be like, it's okay for that person to be Joaquin Phoenix. Joaquin Phoenix. If you're an actor and you're like that kind of, you're like, okay, you're this kind of guy that you got to do so much weird stuff. If you're Jared Leto and you're like, or Leto, you're like, yeah, I don't know, dude.

You have to be so weird characters. I understand you. Maybe you wouldn't be the most. It'd be hard for you to be this because you're too good at this. Yeah. But if you're a talk show host, maybe you should be a little warm. That's funny because Joaquin Phoenix had that.

He had the big thing. The big thing with Letterman was doing a character. Yeah. I remember watching that. Yeah. Because I just remember, I remember watching it and just being like, this is so weird. I know people love Letterman and comics love it.

And I get the idea of Letterman being funny, but I don't know if it's the older I get, the more I just get like, hey, man, it's also like be a person and be like, I don't know, just like there's an elitism that could fill Letterman's new show where he's interviewing all those people. That feels like the most elite show. Where is aspen or something it's like somewhere in colorado i only talk to the most famous people i sit on stage and people watch us talk it's like you're and i'm just saying it could be interesting but you're like that show sounded good all when it first like came out but i don't know where it's at now like because you're just like i don't know

so what y'all are amazing who cares life's great yeah here's all the things that are great here's two people that have have no ounce of like reality yeah in their life and not even a sort of they didn't they wouldn't even know what to if you had to go get something they wouldn't even it would be if they have to go to the grocery store they go to they live in a town that has a grocery store from the 50s that's like it seems like a movie set you know what i mean like it's the guy that runs it is a guy that that has a million dollars and he just does it because it's fun for him to do like they're they have no like there's no real life experience of so it's like some of that that's always i take stuff is you take it where you're going like

yeah dude and leno doesn't leno's the guy that you're like that dude still does comedy and that guy has all these cars but you don't feel like he's bragging to you with his cars it's the guy's successful it's not seeing he's not successful but if that guy could pull up to an auto zone and talk to any of those guys for hours right Right. And you wouldn't feel like you would, he'd be like, all right, I'll see you. And that's awesome.

That's a good thing. That's what you want. That's what you want. I don't think it's a bad thing. For sure. All right. You want to stop? Yeah.

Why do you have something? No, I mean, I don't know if I can keep going. All right, let's stop. Yeah. I don't know if I can keep going. All right, let's stop. Yeah. Alan Thicke.

John McEnroe. John McEnroe, Alan Thicke. I think it'd be fun being a talk show host. I think. Is that something you'd want to do? I don't know. Maybe. You're essentially a talk show host.

I kind of like it, but I would just be... I like doing the... I don't mind it. I don't think I would mind it as much as I thought I would. I used to be like, I don't it but I would just be I like I like doing this I don't mind it I don't think I would mind it as much as I thought I would I used to be like I don't know if I would

I don't know if I would mind it now I'd want to I like the idea of trying to make someone you get to be funny and then you got to try to make someone else be interesting

and like build someone else up yeah I think you would be good with kids I think I could do with kids I think I could do with celebrities I I think I could do with celebrities. I mean, some of that is when we were doing some people in here,

if we get celebrities in here. I like doing it here, live, and I usually do my friends. But I do like the idea if we get someone, like if you have Shay, where you're like, you want to be like, yo, I just want to show you that this dude's like a regular. Like here's us being dudes and we're hanging out, and like you could hang out with Shay. Like we could all hang out together. Like it's like that's what you want to be like

yo we're all normal and like you know it's like it is what it is uh and so i like showing that so like if there if there's a sense of like where you got someone you're like if i would want that's what i would want to show so like if you can't i wouldn't want to interview someone that couldn't get out of that like if you couldn't get out of that, I would be like, what are we doing? You're not normal. You don't have a normal. Be normal for a second. I understand people have money, but I would want, how do you do that?

All right. Yeah. I don't think. So thanks. Yeah, I guess that's it. The end's on him. You know? Thank you, everybody.

This is longer than we thought. Talk shows. Yeah, it's good. Yeah. All right, we'll see you next week. We love you, as always. Thank you for always being here. Yep, talk to you next week.

Bye. Thanks, everybody, for listening to the Nateland podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or a comment. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media.

Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.