The Nateland Podcast - #87 Life Hacks & World Records ft. Caleb Elliott

Episode Date: February 23, 2022

On this week's episode, comedian Caleb Elliott joins the gang to discuss ways Brian has gone above and beyond, does Aaron really need a PO Box, and does Doritos make good kindling. Meanwhile, Nate quickly gets bored with the topic of Life Hacks so the guys move on to World Records where they look at some of the most amazing world records in history while debating which records they would attempt to break.   Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail] Solo Stove - SoloStove.com   Shop now and get up to 30% off fire pits all month long, AND use promo code NATE at checkout to get an extra $10 off. Plus a lifetime warranty and FREE 30-day returns. Just go to SoloStove.com. And remember, you get $10 off when you use promo code NATE.   Talk Space - TalkSpace.com   Join Talkspace today, and start the journey to happier, healthier relationships. Just visit talkspace.com and get $100 off your first month when you use promo code nate at sign-up. That’s $100 off at talkspace.com, promo code nate.   Babbel - Babbel.com   Right now, when you purchase a 3-month Babbel subscription, you’ll get an additional 3 months for FREE.  That’s 6 months, for the price of 3!  Just go to BABBEL.com and use promo code NATE. Babbel—Language for life.    Vuori - VuoriClothing.com/Nate Vuori is an investment in your happiness.  For our listeners they are offering 20% off your first purchase.  Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at VUORICLOTHING.COM/NATE Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75 and free returns.  Go to VUORICLOTHING.COM/NATE and discover the versatility of Vuori Clothing.   Athletic Greens - AthleticGreens.com/Nate Right now, it is time to reclaim your health and help your immune system with convenient, daily nutrition — especially with cold and flu season!  It is just one scoop in a cup of water every day. That is it! No need for a million different pills and supplements to look out for your health.  To make it easy, Athletic Greens Is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. Again, that is ATHLETICGREENS.com/NATE to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance!

hello folks welcome to the nateland podcast here with brian bates aaron weber uh and we're back i feel like we're back the last episode was like like, that's what people wanted. Yeah. Just a fun time. Just making jokes. Look, I think we, you know, I would say we jumped the cow. Now to clarify, this episode is going to come out after some other ones. This isn't coming out this week. So we probably got back on the cow. Yeah.

We might be still in the cow. But we did jump it. I think every episode they're going to see is we're rolling in it. Yeah. We're really cooking now. Because it was like back to just making jokes. Right. Being fun.

Right. We remember who we were. Remember why we were and how we got here. That's right. i'll let you guys know what's up and then now i'm back i uh i got them on my platform i'll let y'all hear about it and then i'm back off now it's back to being dumb my platform was just calling Brian a cow, by the way. It's not a very big platform. He stands with it. But I'll stand with it.

Sorry you guys had to hear it. That should have been a private conversation. Are we rolling? No. It was... I think we've been on... I don't know where this is going to be. This has come out.

I'm about to be gone for a month, so that's why, whatever this is. One month. Crazy. It's going to be awesome. Traveling, great shows. I'm excited about the shows. Also, Mike Vecchione, March 19th, 630 and 845 at NashvilleZanies.com. I think it's April 19th.

April 19th. Sorry. Why does Laura, she'll be fired. Get rid of her. Pin doesn't work. I don't even write April. I mean, I know it's April. Why would I spend the time to do this?

There's no point to it. Pin doesn't work. There's no point to any of this we're back baby we're back april 19th uh 6 30 and 8 45 nashville zanies.com uh we're shooting a special so uh the 18th we're doing a live podcast the 19th we're shooting my vacuum special uh nateland uh productions producing it with 800 pound gorilla i'm uh directing it uh 800 pound gorilla is awesome they're they do a lot of this they know how to do this stuff uh and then uh but it'll be my first one that i produce and direct as well vecchione is super funny vac Vecchione's been around for 20 years.

If you like my comedy, it will be what he will be doing. So he's the best. Vecchione, he's a comic that more people should know. I mean, a lot of people do know him. His album did really good, Muscle Confusion and stuff like that. Thanks. I'll change like that. Thanks.

I'll change it now. April. April, just so when I go back to it. April 19th. Thanks. All right. And we're done. But it's changed.

But he will – Vecchione's someone that's like a great comic, and this one he's doing clean. Some of his other stuff hasn't been clean. Not that it's ever been really that dirty, but it's this one's clean and this one's, I mean, he's just, he's one of the best. He's a real, he's a comics comic. Every comic loves him. And, you know, he comes on the road and he destroys on the road.

So if you can come down to Zaney's, come to that. That will be a big night. I want y'all to, you know, it's fun road me he destroys on the road so uh if you can come down to zany's come to that that will be a big night i want y'all to you know it's fun when you get introduced someone uh i'm not you know i'm not trying to act like i'm introducing him but whatever it's like it's fun to be like yo y'all should all check this dude out like this dude's the real deal yeah so All right. Let's start off. Emily Drago. Drago. Drago. Yeah, it's got two O's at the end there. It's a crazy last name. D-R-A-G-O-O.

Emily Drago. As a mom of three young kids. Emily Drago. She married into that. She married into the Drago family. The Drago family. They come from, they live on the top of a hill. Sounds like vampires.

I know. Is that where the, Emily, do you have to drive up the long driveway? And they're the only house, your husband's only house is at the top? And then the Dragoo family. As a mom of three young kids, the only way I can work out is to run in my neighborhood before they wake up. Needless to say, running alone in the dark as a girl can be very scary, especially when you're in the Dragoo family. But once I started listening to Nate Aaron and Button Up, Blazer, Bicker, the like little boys, I'm happy. And Button Up, Blazer, Bicker, like

little boys, I'm happy to say I don't work out in fear anymore. I do have to stop and sit on the curb and laugh so hard sometimes, though. I read that. The wrong cadence. I do have to stop and sit on the curb from laughing so hard sometimes, though. Did I read it? That's right. Like, it's like, yeah.

I read it like, I do have to stop and sit on the curb from laughing. So hard sometimes. That's awesome. Sorry we made fun of your name. But the Drago family. Or Drago. I don't know. I hope it's Drago.

Nick Cordell. Just wanted to reach out and say that Aaron the Gout Webber did a great job in Cape Girardeau. I only know that because you said that earlier today. Oh, yeah. Girardeau. Yeah, how would you have said that? I don't know. Girardeau.

Aaron was so nice after the show as well as he was exciting for my wife and I to get to meet him and chat for a bit. When I get excited, he's like, like oh no uh there wasn't much of a line when i get excited meeting no i'm joking i had to meet him he was so nice after the show um when i get excited meeting someone i usually turn into a rambling fool while my wife keeps her composure and doesn't overdo it so my my question, do you guys like when people keep talking? Is there a certain point where you were like, okay, dude, nice to meet you. You now leave me alone. I think for Bates, I think it's an answer for the audience.

Yeah. Do they want him to stop? When would you be like, okay, this is enough? They usually offer to take a picture. Yeah. So they know to kind of wrap it up. Let's get a picture. Let's wrap this thing up.

No, it's great if you talk. I mean, sometimes you can tell when you meet people that's nervous. They don't know what to say. It's also always great to come up and just be there to take the picture. It doesn't have to be no pressure. If you have something you want to say, just tell us. I'd say if you have the presence of mind to even be thinking about that you're probably not being annoyed yes you know oh that's a hundred percent yeah yeah like this guy's yeah if he wants like his wife got it and told him later they were both great they were both great

you remember meeting them yeah this is the couple whose son we played the video oh yes had all of the episodes memorized yeah we talked about that for a while it's very cool yeah that's crazy they're great family yeah yeah awesome uh i've met them too uh kaylee horn i made a little piece of printable art for the folks it's available on etsy to purchase digitally, digitally, digitally, and print on your own. Link included. All right. Hard copy. I went ahead and bought one for us.

We can put up. Oh, that's very cool. Unreal. It's got a lot of our greatest hits on there. I mean, she's got some new stuff too. The banana peeled backwards. That is, yeah, Turler. Devil's beating his wife.

Yeah. She's very up to date. Cole's butcher makes an apple an apple that's awesome yeah sit over here yeah where i had to put it but yeah that's awesome first time i've ever heard of etsy i don't really know what that is it's like ebay for okay this kind of stuff all right Is it that's different than Pinterest? I don't even know what Pinterest is. I don't know what Pinterest is. I don't either. I've heard of them, but I don't know what they are. Yeah, I don't know what Etsy or Pinterest is.

Those are two completely different kinds of sites. Okay. That's all right. We can talk about it later. Faith Domster. It's better than Doomster. Well, you said Dumpster. No, it's Faith Dom doomster well you said dumpster no it's faith domster oh uh i do think nate should look into adult add he does have many symptoms learning disabilities are also associated

with add highly intelligent people have it too it's just how the brain processes it's good to know not to be labeled but to get help it could be a challenge in relationships the low level frustration impulsive behavior and lots of issues can be helped when you understand more how your brain works so the way i would take it is i would be able to go like so if me and my wife get into, or me and Bates, we get an argument on here, I will know my brain's much better than yours. But I'll say this to myself. I'll go, my brain is light. Nate, your brain's light years better than these people you're talking to.

And so then I'll ease into it. Yeah. Okay. Okay. That's good to know. Figured it out Okay. Okay. That's good to know. Figured it out. That helps. You know,

if I get asked something ridiculous, I'll go, hey, calm down, dude. You're playing, you know, it's like...

Your chess, and we're checkers. Yeah. That's right. I'm Michael Jordan. You guys are children. Go easy on them.

Don't bring the heat heat they can't handle it but the hard part is you get done talking and I'm like I was thinking about that the whole time say what you said one more time I have to remind myself you can't do that and talk at the same time because it's all kind of crazy

so I gotta be like when I feel you walk up be like you have to stop 10 feet from me. Let me prepare for the dumbness I'm about to enter. And then once I accept what I'm about to get into. Yeah, that makes sense. Thanks, Faith. Thanks, Faith. Thanks, Faith.

Rachel Sheehan. Sheehan. Sheehan. I don't think Nate is dyslexic. In an episode of Nateland, Nate said that he stopped doing good at school because Daniel Rucker moved in and took the spotlight. But he also mentioned that Daniel moved in within a couple days of the time that Nate was injured falling down a cliff, somehow not making the connection at all.

It sounds to me more like traumatic brain injury from the fall down a cliff rather than Daniel Rucker stealing Nate's brain function with some sort of voodoo magic. Well, I still think it's Daniel Rucker. Also, Nate swaps L's and R's when he's speaking, not just reading, as in we're instead of will. Oh, I do that. I've never heard anyone do that. were instead of will. Oh, I do that. I've never heard anyone do that.

That's so funny. Also, Nate swaps L's and R's when he's speaking, not just reading, as in were instead of well. I have never heard anyone do that, not even other Tennesseans. I don't know if it's a family manner of speech or part of that potential brain injury, but maybe instead of dyslexia test, he should see a neurologist. I know traumatic brain injury sounds awful. It's not great, but it's pretty common in the U.S. All right. I got a lot to do. We're one more common way from just taking me out back and shooting me like a horse.

Yeah, these were a couple of the nicer diagnoses. Yeah. What do the other ones mean? They're just like. It's just more serious, I guess. Oh, really? It's like worse? These are the fun ones.

Yeah. I think my whole family, we have brain problems. Bunch of idiots. Bunch of idiots. Yeah, I do have trouble with Will and where. I have a big. mean nads i have to lauren can't put that in the script i can't like i want i don't know how to do it so but all right that's how you make jokes you know that's why you just do a thing that's on stage and it's like well

you gotta either come along or you don't get it. So if you ever get a talk show, it's time to say, we'll be right back. We'll be right back. There you go. No, wait. We're be. When I say we're, we're be right back. Our will, we will. Yeah.

We will be right back. There you go. We'll. We'll be right. We'll be right back. Is will not how you say it? No, you hit it. Oh. Well. Well, now you it? No, you hit it. Oh.

Well. Well, now you're going to do a Bengals thing. All right. Back. I'll just say that. I'll just go, see you soon. Because I will be seeing you soon. Yeah.

See you soon sounds like the show's over. Yeah. But it's more correct. see you soon sounds like the show's over yeah but it's more correct see you soon and then it's like yeah in like 90 seconds yeah the commercials yeah yeah yeah we'll be right back uh jonah foster i just came across, I'm very glad somebody stopped him. That's great. Listening to Aaron rant about chocolate, Coke, and comedy was everything I imagined Aaron Land to be. I don't even remember what he's talking about. But yeah, the irony is not lost on me that my old podcast

was called Somebody Stopped Me, and I did six episodes and stopped. And you stopped yourself. I stopped myself. Yeah. Not even six. It wasn't even consistent. It was like two months of them. It was a train wreck.

I listened to one. I thought it was good. Thanks, man. One out of six? Yeah. Appreciate the support, dude. Where's it at? Everywhere podcasts are found.

Oh, wow. I think it's still like putting thing up if we ever have to miss a week we'll just roll one of those yeah we're playing aaron's old podcast somebody stop me and see how far you can get no i bet it was great aaron he's probably doing comedy about a year at that point. Were you? Two years. Two years. Did you have guests? No.

A couple episodes maybe. A couple maybe out of six. Do you have a two-year comic that thinks he can rant for an hour? Do you know how hard it is to talk for an hour? I do. I mean. They were like 20 minutes long, dude. Okay.

Okay. For an hour? I do. I mean. They were like 20 minutes long, dude. It was. Okay. Okay.

That's a comic thing. If anybody's, I don't know the big thing I'm making for there. No, you should. But the audacity. You should make fun of it. You should make fun of it. That's a like, you know, Bill Burr goes on his own and talks for an hour, two hours. It's Bill Burr. It's like, it takes a long time.

I love a two-year comic. I'm like, I'll just riff for an hour. You it's bill burr it's like it takes a long time i love a two-year comic i'll just riff for an hour all right what what was the thinking behind the title i was going through a thing where at open mics and stuff i was doing this like oh somebody i was saying somebody stopped me as a joke and then i just liked the name of it i didn't think that i would stop that quickly now i really regret the title now so you put the title and that was off of you doing like a danger field thing kind of yeah not danger field but that kind of yeah in that vein somebody stopped somebody stopped me that kind of that's a perfect open mic that's what like here's what i can tell you open micers i know like is that probably killed in the room

it killed like one time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's funny because it's like, that's how bad. I will say it's, open mics can be like that because you're performing for the same people every week. So you kind of end up performing for that room. So you making like, you doing that is like kind of funny. But you stopped it. But, so, I mean, you did stop.

You stopped. Why did you stop? I don't know. Life, dude. Life, you know, life got in the way. Life got busy. Why did you stop? I don't know. Life, dude. Life, you know, life got in the way. Life got busy. Yeah. He wanted to become a good comedian.

So, what if we asked you to do this podcast and you're like, I can't. Can't do Mondays. I'm pretty tied up with somebody stopping. Stop me. Yeah. Working on episode eight. Yeah. Got some of the backlog. That's the best when someone starts a podcast and they're just very random isn't prince harry and like uh

whatever you know probably i think they started one i think they've done one episode or something maybe two for pretty fine yeah the the key to anything is consistency and then like it's i mean we that's we had in our, it could be better. We were the worst. I make fun of you. We recorded, the whole beginning was recorded on the, not even the real microphone working. Hannah Wade.

In 2019, comedian Volodymyr Selensky, Volodymyr Selensky, was elected president of Ukraine. At the time, he was starring on a TV show where his character accidentally becomes Ukrainian president. With this in mind, if Nate Land accidentally became real country, what positions would Brian and Aaron hold in the government? Assuming Nate would be president, what laws would he pass? That's a big assumption. Yeah. Secretary? what laws would he pass it's a big assumption yeah secretary not of anything not even of state or anything just your secretary

yeah not mine i think you'd be my secretary's secretary assistant to the secretary to the secretary aaron would be your secretary and i'd be his. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. Aaron. Yeah. What would you be? I don't know what you'd be.

I'd head up like the presidential fitness program. Yeah. I'd be the first lady. I'd be your, that'd be your agenda. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. I want Nate Land to be healthy.

There you go. You've got a lot of. Way to bring it, fellas. Cancer research, end it. Good night. What would y'all's fake job be and both of y'all just give real jobs? I guess I'd be, you know...

Transportation secretary. Transportation secretary. Something like that. I like roads. I think I could be, you know... What about me being a broadcaster? What does George Stanton say? Yeah.

You know, I say all those fun things about the games. I like sports. I like sports. Yeah. I don't think y'all can handle it. Handle the fake Nate Land government? Yeah. You ever heard of improv where they go yes and and you're supposed

to keep going that's the point of this is being comedy on a podcast right so when i say i don't think y'all could handle this and then you go the fake well now it's over now no jokes are being made well we just threw out some and you shot them down did you listen to the joke master of shooting down yes and did you listen to the joke that y'all shot out i am this is supposed to be a higher level people are listening this that's my that's my favorite refrain yeah look y'all this way y'all might be having fun people are listening i know we're just sitting around a table right now and it seems like we're all just doing a good time but there's a lot of people listening to this and they can hear your voices when y'all make those jokes uh they're

already gone i've had both uh as the president they've both been assassinated and i may or may not have something to do with it i'm probably up there's definitely some news channels going like i don't know did he do it did you not like i didn't do it. I did it sloppy enough that, you know, that's what happened. Let me be a president. I would just do something. I killed the two people, vice president. What do you speak of the house? Like, isn't that the who goes next if I die?

Yeah. So I did the country a favor favor i got rid of these two problems and then whatever else below that i'll just take chances right what's below that who's next secretary of state fourth i think yeah there you go there you go that's laura now and now i regret it the whole time i'm doing now laura's next to me the whole time i'm doing my... Now Laura's next to me and the whole time I'm reading like, Dear America. And she's like, you know, I'm like, America of United States. She's like, United States of America. I'm like, hey, I'm doing my speech to the union. Let me do my union speech.

What is that speech called? State of the Union. State of the Union. I'm doing my State of the Union. It's just her behind me rolling her eyes. Hey, if you're not going to be on board with these ideas

and then I'll just accidentally should never kill Darren and Brian. Just say it accidentally. Into the mic. Golly, I can't believe I killed Darren and Brian. Maybe I should do her too anyway is this on

chris lee i've recently come down with some health issues one of which i is i'm starting to go blind oh man recently my family was trying to find a warm jacket winter jacket for my daughter i walk over to one of the mannequins because i noticed that he's wearing a pretty cool jacket so i reach out to fill the material on the arm and it feels durable so i go to fill the inside and i get about two inches below my wrist when i realized there's a man in this jacket just looking at me with a very confused look on his face all i could do was ask him if the jacket kept him relatively warm, but she acknowledged that it did. I then pulled my hand from his back and walked off to find my family.

When we got outside, I told my wife what I had done. She literally fell on the ground. That was so great. I mean, that's, Chris, I'm so sorry for where you're going through, but that's so great i mean that's chris i'm so sorry for your where you're going through but that's amazing couldn't have happened to a better guy chris uh that's that's amazing that's unreal you put that in a i mean that you know that's like i'd close on that the guy was standing pretty still. I mean, the guy just let it happen.

You'd be so confused. I understand that. You're just stunned. What is this guy doing? Yeah. Feels good. It's so great. So great.

Just feel. Chase Newman. I once interviewed for a golf course superintendent position. It basically came down to me and another guy. I didn't get the job because of the question, what are some ways you went above and beyond your normal duties? I thought of so many afterwards, but literally couldn't answer the question when I needed to. Cut to a few years later, I'm interviewing for a sales position. The same question comes up. I knew I had to answer this time, but again, I couldn't think of anything on the spot. So I immediately started making up a story on the fly. About halfway through my dumb made up story, I stopped and was like, guys, I'm sorry. I'm

making all this up right now. Needless to say, I did not get the jobs, but buddies and I got get a kick out of it still. I like that you did that, Chase. Those kind of questions are, I would honestly, I would think you asking that question is, I'm bored with the idea of interviewing someone, so I'm going to just say this to you. And I would almost tell you, Chase, you could lie.

Because there's no, the person asking, there's no possible way they care about what other ways like you wouldn't even be able to how would you know other ways that i've gone above and beyond i you know i i can't pinpoint like i would be weirded out if you could you go december 5th i think that's i worked at a grocery store and i went to a woman's car loaded it didn't have to do that

we weren't even supposed to do that got fired because of it about 2pm I went above and beyond how would you remember I think that's a very common interview question I know but that would show me that no one's thinking of new questions

so they're just going asking that question is just they're just going that's a like uh asking that question is just someone that's not they're not even giving you a chance because they're going hey when have you gone above me you're like when have you gone above and beyond yeah ask that could you say it no you couldn't answer it either no one can answer it because it doesn't make sense because no one cares about this answer so if you don't care what the answer is don't ask the question that guy doesn't care the interviewer yeah chase should have just kept lying and just said i would have been more i mean he should have just

kept lying and just say i made it up and then they'd be like oh wow that's interesting because they there's no way and then they go name a time you worked well with the team yeah you know just questions like that play basketball we lost every game so I don't want to bring that up. Yeah, I mean, it's like, it's just very when you're like, there's no like really, these are, I don't know. It's, you should be, that the person that is hiring that person doesn't seem like they like the job. So maybe it's good you didn't get it.

I'm on Team Chase. I don't feel like you are. Well, I don't think Chase is even on Team Chase. I think he agrees with the interviewer. No, Chase is on Team Chase. Yeah. Yeah. Why would he not be?

I just think your resume, you put all the stuff that makes you look best, and then they're like, well, all right, tell me something you did that actually went above and beyond. And if you don't have a good answer, it's – What would you say? What have you done that's been above and beyond? Well, it depends on what the job is I'm interviewing for. You're spot on this podcast.

I went to Staples today and bought that frame and that Etsy. Oh, there you go. That was nice. Yeah. That was a good answer. Thank you. Yeah. Ran to Staples.

Oh, and the jokes came down. Where were you? That's what you're being, you're so busy with the, well, I got the frame. I ran for snacks snacks you got snacks in the frame yeah that's good uh julie elaine strothman julie i always like the name julie my friend and i had a season pass at valley fair in minnesota during the summers of 2017 and 2018 we started a weird habit of dressing up on the wild thing roller coaster and buying the pick, mostly just for fun and giving our friends a laugh.

We got pretty serious about it. Rules were one, we had to look normal entering the ride. We had 30 seconds on the ride up the first hill to change into costume. We had to remove our costumes before exiting the ride. The photo booth worker wouldn't let us purchase our last pick which was just eating taco bell on a roller coaster because we weren't supposed to have loose items on a ride and these are the pictures oh that's great that's crazy bathing suit bathing suit we've got, I mean. They're in showering clothes. Shower caps and a loofah. And we've got. And they went all out.

Nuns. With the crucifix. She's praying. Yeah. That's amazing. That's great. That's some real deal. Yeah.

Getting that, getting changed into that swimsuit. Man, that's very funny that's crazy how do you yeah yeah that's very funny yeah that's a fun that's fun yeah why not yeah i like the last one they're like we can't have that photo the taco bell why would you not be i guess because that person doesn't want to get fired. So you let them take Taco Bell? I didn't let them take Taco Bell. No one did. Yeah. All right.

Emily Crawford. I just saw on Food Network that there is no problem leaving ketchup out after opening it. But if you put it in the fridge, it stays redder. So color is not important to you in terms of ketchup? I think it's plenty red. I'm colorblind. And I have trouble with greens and redder. So color's not important to you in terms of catching? I think it's plenty red. I'm colorblind, and I have trouble with greens and reds, so I don't think I would ever notice. Really?

Yeah, I've done the colorblind test. I can't see. So when you're driving, it's just a free-for-all? No, it's not that bad. Do a colorblind test and just go to the first one, and don't tell me the number. I've done it like it's. All right. So click those images right there at the bottom.

Yeah. Like, you know, just one of them. So I see nothing. Really? I don't see anything. I don't see it. There's supposed to be a number. I can kind of see the 12 right below that one.

Okay. I can see that's a five and down there in the middle. But like that one that you're on. that one. Okay. I can see that's a five down there in the middle. But like that one that you're on? This one right here. I see nothing. 11? 21? Huh?

74. Oh. No, I don't see that. Yeah. I didn't know that. I'm surprised that. Yeah, yeah. Just add it to it.

One more. Take one more step to the back of that barn. I'm a horse. I'm just being like giving a carrot. I'm like, God, I'm getting a lot of carrots today for some reason. And there's another person hiding behind the barn with a shotgun. And I'm like, this is my day. So you're a horse and I'm a cow.

Yep. We're just both. But I'm about to be shot. shot Well I'm about to be slaughtered Oh yeah cause you're gonna wander in Yeah you would be That's true It's all yours Aaron What am I

I don't know your well that's free Free Aaron Free Aaron I don't know if you're a whale We're doing farm animals I'm a horse, I'm a cow I guess you're a whale What did you want to say, pig?

I mean, we're running out of stuff Chicken? Goat? At least let me be on the farm with y'all I'm trying to hang out I'm not 3,000 miles away in the ocean It's the beached whale You need the room you don't have you can't be bogged down by a fence you gotta be free man that's fair

you know i'll take it it's uh it's yeah the well is a good thing well it'd be good to be they're important they're important big mouse you can eat a lot house cat make fun sounds yeah i think you'd be a nice well that would come up i think you'd be one of the fun wells i would get i would put on a show yeah you know i see people out there whale watch and i go let's give them what they want yeah yeah yeah blow a little water yeah yeah yeah yeah maybe not every day but you'd be like yeah you know you're like the joe dimaggio it's the first time out here i this kid i gotta play my hardest for him wasn't joe dimaggio the largest mammal but doesn't have to be doesn't have to be yeah that would be yeah uh these hats we're wearing uh folk matt parish lives in memphis gave us these grizzlies hats the grizzlies are

killing it grizzlies are killing john morant uh i mean this is it's what is what the grizzlies needed yeah was uh you know not that they've had great players, but to have a superstar like John Morant, it's super fun, and we're making it. Yeah, we've got to be, you know, Tennessee. I think Nashville and Memphis needs to come together. We need to make that happen. Just in basketball. There's just a – I feel like it's Nashville, Knoxville, Memphis.

I feel like everybody's kind of alone. We should have a peace treaty like in Jackson. Yeah, yeah. We should all just be like, yo, man, Knoxville, Memphis. I feel like everybody's kind of alone. We should have a peace treaty like in Jackson. Yeah. Yeah. We should all just be like, yo, man, we're all Tennessee. Yeah. We play, you know, for some reason we're all kind of broken up. Because we've all had our own identities.

Memphis had its identity with music and all that forever, and they were the place to be. Right. Now Nashville's the place to be. Knoxville had the World Fair. World Fair. So they were the place to be. Now Nashville's the place to be. Knoxville had the World Fair. So they were the place to be. Everybody's kind of been like, take the turn of being the it place.

And now it's time to come together and all of us collectively. Now as Nashville is as dominant as we are, we should come, those other two cities should come together. I'm on board. And it starts with this, buddy. And bow down to us

all of us in old hickory let us know i don't know all right so this week uh we uh are gonna we're gonna talk about life hacks which is i think the one that got us off the rails yeah uh but we're gonna make it fun i think it's been fun we. Yeah. But we're going to make it fun. I think it's been fun. We also have a guest we're going to bring in. Caleb Elliott. Well, I'll wait until you say so. I got excited about it.

I'm a big Caleb Elliott fan. I feel that. That feels good. Does that look weird? Be honest. No, I mean, your hair is already like it is. Come on. Come on. Thanks, man. i'll take that as i don't know how you meant that all right we've been good now this is a nice nate and i meant that in a positive way yeah caleb elliott come on hey welcome you came here you and aaron were working together this weekend

and uh gerardo we're in cape gerardo missouri and nate i'm glad you brought that up because Come on. Hey. Welcome. You came here. You and Aaron were working together this weekend in Girardeau. We were in Cape Girardeau, Missouri. Cape Girardeau, Missouri. Nate, I'm glad you brought that up because I've been wanting to show you this. I've been waiting for a few days to show you this. We went and saw the world's largest soda fountain cup. Whoa. It is.

In Cape Girardeau. I've been calling it the Missouri Statue of Liberty. Yeah. Yeah. That's funny. And it's, I mean, Caleb and I went. Everybody's like, you got to go get a picture with it. So we went and there was a line of people to get a picture with this. It's outside of a gas station.

And it's just a huge roads, which I guess is a chain of gas stations out there. Huge cup. Now, Nate, here's the question I've been waiting to ask you. A lot of people are commenting, finally a cup big enough for Nate, all this stuff oh thank you for me for you yeah because on your tonight show you talked about yeah yeah cups and everything yeah do you think that in your lifetime you've drank enough soda to fill up this cup and i did the math but i'm curious what oh no i would imagine no i'd imagine it's more than I think. I mean, but I think I've done a healthy amount.

I think I put a dent in it. You put a dent in it for sure. Like, I think it's more than I – I don't know. I don't know, though. Do you know what size drink you get usually? I don't like the big drinks. I talked about that one that day where I talked about on the Tonight Show. I did have a big drink.

But I tried to even, even if I got a large meal or an extra large meal, I will sometimes still ask for the medium cup because I just want the, it's too big. Yeah. And I just don't like holding it. That's the only reason. It's not like I'm against that soda. Do you know what size that is? Ounces?

No. I don't know. Whatever the, well, I was trying to, so this is, this is the world's largest soda fountain cup is 4,730 gallons. Okay. Okay. And I think they actually, at one point this was filled up with lemonade. I think they had to fill it up once for it to get the world record. Now it's empty, but that 4,730 gallons is 605,440 fluid ounces. And as we all know, one can of Diet Pepsi is 12 fluid ounces. So that means this holds 50,453 cans of Diet Pepsi. Yeah, I doubt I've drank that much. So assuming you started drinking Diet Pepsi the day you were born, you've lived 15,668 days to today. That would mean you'd have to average 3.22 cans of Diet Pepsi per day.

From now? Since the day you were born to now to drink that much. So if I would have drank, so I didn't start, obviously the day I was born, I was about one. No, I don't know when I started, but it was not drinking a lot. We weren't allowed to drink, so we had a water rule. Right. We could only drink water if we went out to eat.

Let's say you started on your 10th birthday. I don't think I started. I mean, you got to be 20. I would say 20. Now, I'm 22 years in, so if i get another 20 years yeah with which i should if i keep my soda habit going yeah uh so then i could be i could do it at two diet pepsis per day it would take 69 years to drink all of this wow okay i mean so so it could be i that that's that's that could be done you could it could be done for sure yeah and i bet people do it i bet people are working on it without even

knowing without even knowing that that could be done i i could you know i think i i think i would be a lot i think i would probably like the crispy cream i would be it wouldn't be a little disappointing but you know, but being like, well, still. I'll put in some more. I bet you're up to that blue already. It's up there.

The bottom? Well, I was going to say above the roads. Yeah. Like right here? Yeah. All right. That's still a lot.

Yeah. So when, yeah. It's nice to see a truck behind it to get the, so you get the dimensions right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When does the podcast start? Are we going gonna start with that or is that no that was quite a while i was excited

i was excited to bring this in i've been waiting for five days with the cup bring this up yeah well you go yeah they have it no it's fun what is yeah it's just on the side of the road it's just on the side next to i drove past it accidentally i missed it it's just right next to a gas station oh It's just on the side. I drove past it accidentally. I missed it. It's just right next to a gas station. Oh, you went looking for it. Oh, we went looking for it. Everybody was like, you got to go see it.

Yeah, you missed it originally when we drove past it. Right. He was like, keep an eye out for a giant soda fountain cup. And there it is. And it was that eventful. And there were a couple other groups of people out there trying to get a picture with it, too. Oh, really? Yeah.

And we waited. This is it. Like the Taylor Swift wings? Yeah. It's like their mural. Yeah. It's a big deal in Cape Girardeau. Yeah.

I would get a picture with it. Yeah. I did not kind of regret it. Oh, you refused? Yeah. I wasn't a big. I didn't really. It was cold.

Yeah. It was really cold. I'm not a big fan of that. Did you take the picture? Obviously. I did take the picture. So you were outside. Yeah. It was really cold. I'm not a big fan of that. Did you take the picture? I did take the picture. So you were outside. Yeah.

That's me. That's me behind the camera, guys, on that photo right there. So you could have just switched places easily. I didn't even. I just took a selfie by myself. You want to ask someone else? There's a big group out there. We were the last one.

Yeah. Thankfully. Yeah. And he didn't want to be in any way. Yeah. Yeah. So we had our time with it, you know? Yeah.

Now you got to go back to it. I'm good, you know? I think I get it. But like with the fact that you could have just been done with it, took a picture of proof that you were there. I'm pretty done with it. You know what I mean? I know.

But what if someone goes, hey man, did you ever be honest? Have you ever seen the world's tallest? I'd probably lie and say I didn't go. You know what I mean? I'd probably be like, no, I've never seen it before. Never even heard of Cape. Twice last year. Yeah.

They go to it. They go a bunch. I would like to see someone that's been a bunch. Yeah. That would be. I'd make my annual pilgrimage. Yeah, I'd go every morning. To the world's largest

soda fountain cup is roads the business that it's at roads is yeah that's a gas station chain that'd be like a you know a twice daily or a map coke right yeah yeah twice what's twice daily it's a shell oh it's a shell station and they call it twice daily that's what it's called yeah they don't call it shell you can call it either one i don't call it Shell? You can call it either one. I think I call it Shell. What do you call it? Shell's the gas that they serve, but Twice Daily's the market, I think. Twice Daily's the market. You call it Shell? I've never called it Twice Daily.

I've never called it. I wonder if that's an age thing. I've never called it that either. Do you call it? I just call it a gas station, usually. Yeah. Okay, but you would turn around. Would you say a gas station?

I don't know if I... I wouldn't know what you were talking, like, I know what you mean saying twice daily, but I don't, I don't think I would. Once daily. Yeah. All right. So today we're talking about life hacks. Yeah.

Come on. Here's one for you to keep a perfect crease in your pants. Take your pants off before a performance. Yeah. Seinfeld. Yeah. Yeah. It's a good one, right? Yeah. Yeah. But that's Take your pants off before a performance. Yeah, Seinfeld. It's a good one, right? Yeah, yeah. But that's if you're wearing slacks.

Yes, and but it was a funny Seinfeld episode. It was a good life hack. Another one, do you watch Seinfeld? Yeah, yeah. Caleb, you ever seen Seinfeld? I haven't actually. We had a big conversation about this this past week because I haven't seen much of anything.

You set him down and told him you haven't seen anything. I kind of came out the Seinfeld closet. You haven't seen any TV shows? Anything good, I haven't seen. How old are you? I'm 24. Yeah. Yeah.

Getting up there. So I haven't seen much of Seinfeld. I mean, name something else I probably haven't. I know I haven't seen any of your movies, Brian name something else i probably haven't i know i haven't seen breaking bad any of your movies brian so i'm breaking bad oh he hasn't seen forrest gump i mean i ain't seen forrest gump yeah but he's so young these are old movies thank you man but i want to say these are movies that are referenced so often you don't even realize how often they're being right but i'm him because i'm at his age yeah i wouldn't have seen any i've never seen i don't think i've ever watched any terminator i've never watched like have you seen terminator yeah i've seen terminator

i've at least seen terminator shawshank redemption shawshank no i tried to get him to watch i haven't seen that yeah we spent probably an hour yeah on the drive down y'all want to watch it as you we're in a hotel room together for five days so i I'm like, let's find a movie to watch. We spent an hour looking through movies. He hadn't seen any of these. I don't even want to start. Let's just keep going back. There's nothing better than the beginning of comedy when you get to do this.

Truly, I swear. Some of my fondest memories are when you go on the road and you have to share a room. That's the best. Yeah, it's fun. I mean, if you want to trade, you know what I mean? That's the best. If you want to trade, you know what I mean? That'd be awesome. You can go back anytime. Yeah, that's true.

You let me know. I'm just letting you know you are in your fondest. It will never get better than where you're at. Well, that was so encouraging. I just saw your ad. No, I'm joking. We're not jumping the cow everybody caleb hang on to whatever money you got right now

uh no no the other side of those references is to keep chocolate getting your hands cut your candy bar with a knife and a fork yeah wait what is that a life hack or you're just saying that that's a real thing yeah larry david somebody did you're just saying that from... That's a real thing.

Yeah. Larry David, somebody did that and Larry David learned that's a real life and put it in the show. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Yeah, there you go. So bring in the heat. Why would you do that? To keep chocolate from getting on your fingers. You just use a fork and a knife? Yeah. Do you do that?

No, but it's a... a okay you keep a little bit of the wrapper on like we're talking with a banana yeah you keep a little bit of it on yeah you don't open the whole thing and then just hold it in the heat yeah and it melts all over your hands but what if you want to eat it on a plate like yeah like everybody else does you know you don't want to stick out uh cut whatever knife and a fork i don't know if it's a knife and a cut Cut Larry You need to cut Larry Cut to Larry

Cut to Larry Alright I'll stick with the life hacks from Not my own but When you want to cross out a word You don't want people to see Instead of scribbling over it Write random letters Over that original word

Does that make sense? uh you have that website i sent you i don't know and these were like on the internet yeah like you got all these from encyclopedia okay so you would so if you have word you would just make other letters yeah instead of marking over it you can still see it um put other letters over it and then it's just all these aren't things i came up with these are okay from life hacks yeah but the fork and knife that's all you right that's seinfeld that's okay got you yeah i didn't know if you were just like you made these up the website where they show okay i'll find it that sent you all right uh use your sunglasses as a prop to watch your phone like if you don't have a

yeah i mean dude i honestly if this is just well the first one i gave we did 30 minutes on so i thought boy this is gonna be a what was the tie a ribbon around your luggage at the airport yeah yeah but that got us off the like i'm that so yeah all i'm like it's we're just trying to make jokes people listen we're having fun it can't just be reading just some easy ways to get around i mean try a few more and let's see next time i need to prop my phone up and i have i'm wearing sunglasses i know what i'll be doing though yeah i'll you see put your sunglasses down you put the phone up and then the phone overweighs the sunglasses it moves the whole time okay um when taking a picture squint your eyes to make your smile

look more genuine oh if you're trying to fake a smile like does this look like i think this is a great episode? Wow. What was the trick that you guys talked about when Jay Cutler talked about? You got a little trapped over here. When you're taking a picture, you take your tongue and put it to the roof of your mouth? Yeah, you put your tongue at the top of your mouth. I've been trying to do that in every picture I've taken. I don't know if it's working.

Well, you got a lot to pull up. So. Yeah. Use plastic egg crates to store away Christmas ornaments. I mean, that's crazy, dude. You look like – Unbelievable, man. Like you bought your season tickets when the Grizzlies moved in Memphis,

and that's what you wear to every game. It kind of matches. Yeah. And just like your – I mean, you're Titans, but if you lived in Memphis, this would be you. Now, this isn't Titans. No, I know. I'm saying your life, how it is in the Titans when they first came,

you got tickets, you sit at the top. If you were in Memphis, you would just wear this. You look like the Memphis version of you. Yeah. Basically. Well, thanks, guys. How different would your life be if you had grown up in whatever the Lebanon equivalent of Memphis is?

And now you have season tickets to the Grizzlies. To the Grizz. Yeah. You'd be down there. Yeah. I love it. Getting to the top. Excited about Penny Hardaway.

I would remember when University of Memphis was Memphis State. Do you remember that? I remember that. I had a hard time calling them, I think, University of Memphis, like whenever it changed. I remember when it changed. Yeah. Yeah.

Aaron, maybe you should just show them instead of me reading them. Just read one. Okay. Does your room smell bad? You tape a dryer sheet over the AC unit and turn it on. Yeah. Take those dryer sheets. You ever put it on the back of a fan like that.

It's like putting air free. Yeah. That is unbelievable. Wow. Yeah. I just don't see how this is enjoyable for people to hear. Like, it's like we're just reading stuff that they should. Here's the thing, Nate.

You've got life figured out. Okay? I'm not saying that's life figured out. No, I'm serious. You don't need these life hacks. Yeah. Okay. The rest of us, we're running around. It's chaos out there. Yeah. I'm not saying I've got life figured out. No, I'm serious. You don't need these life hacks. Yeah. The rest of us were running around. It's chaos out there.

I need stuff like this. You need a podcast that's going to just list. So instead of just going like, why don't you email a link out to everybody listening? We're going to read the link. If we can get an email list serve going, let's hop on. Let's pull up another article article let's read an article podcast you know this is from the new york times today yeah i'm gonna tell a joke when it comes to me just keep reading this is you know this caleb you should get off the podcast you should go you

know what dude this is not the one I need to be on. This one hurts. This will hurt my career. Maybe. Rightfully so. Is there something to go off of? It's hard to say until I tell them, wrap a wet paper towel around your beverage

and put it in the freezer in 15 minutes. It'll be ice cold. Yeah, you should have known before you said that out loud that that probably wasn't the one. Piling on. I mean, I just sit on the podcast for five minutes. Yeah, let me see. I'm a big Nate Land fan.

Bounce batteries to see if they're good or bad. You drop them on a table from about six inches. If they give one small bounce and fall right over, they're good. If they bounce around, they're they're on their way out i mean can you i just i don't like i don't know what to go on like you know what's gonna happen nate is you're gonna be in the hotel room pretty soon probably next week yeah and you're gonna be trying to turn on the tv and you're not and it's not gonna work and you're gonna have to test whether those batteries work and you're not going to work, and you're going to have to test whether those batteries work, and you're not going to remember how to do it. And you're going to be like, man, I wish I would have cared a little more.

Two batteries with me everywhere I go. So, dumb question. It's not a question. Clean out an old lotion bottle and use it to store your keys, phone, and money while at the beach. Well, just be a psycho. I mean, that's what that would be like you go i don't know if you can afford to go to the beach if you are having to use old lotion bottles to carry your belongings i mean i don't know the fact that you saved up

and you finally are at the beach for a big vacation and then you put a lotion but you're like put all the stuff in lotion but i guess because no one will steal the lotion bottle yeah yeah how big is a lotion bottle get your phone and keys i mean it's pretty big you get the big old oh like costco like it looks like deodorant like kind of shape yeah whatever you know whatever kind you use like a shampoo bottle i don't have to use like i mean use like Yeah. Because I wouldn't need the sunscreen. You would be... Yeah, you would dump it on you, then get scratched by the keys. Yeah.

And then you'd be like, God damn it, dude. What is... And then you're like, you gave away everything, dude. Now everybody's... Now a crowd's kind of around you because they know where your wallet and keys and phone is. Yeah. Before, you were alone. Okay.

And now, when do you put it in? In the car, privately? I think at the hotel. At the hotel. As you're getting ready. But you're not big enough to get in the car. You should probably drive to the beach. That's true.

If you're having to do this, you definitely are not staying on the beach. No. So, you're a few miles inland. And so, you got to drive to the beach. So, you're in your car. And you go, where's the water? Where's the lotion bottle?

And she goes, I bought it here. It's got lotion in it. And there's a big fight. And then you've been 30 minutes dumping all the lotion on the ground. If anybody puts this together, they know exactly where your wallet is. And then you put it on your phone and stuff

and put that in there. And then just leave that laying on the beach. So when someone goes and digs through your bag, because you took a boat out to the middle of the equator, I mean, you're never that far from your stuff. And they're going, God, man, I wish I could steal this. God, but this guy got me. Where was it?

He goes, is he getting arrested? Where was it? Lotion bottle. God, dead gummit. That's good. That's good. If you're doing this, there's no way you're staying on the beach. Motel 6, a couple miles inland.

If you can't find kindling, use doritos to keep a fire going yeah well if you're in that situation if you can't find kindling then i don't think you have the doritos if you're in the wild i would say i've had doritos more than i've had kindling so you're freezing you're lost thankfully you have a bunch of doritos yep that keeps the fire going well it's just yeah last resort if i need to get something going doritos are gonna you know they're in your pantry i don't have kindling around so you're at home let's say i'm at home trying to get my solo stove set up yeah everything's safe everything's safe and then someone's like

y'all we fire's about to go dead yeah you go why don't i have any more kindling at my home because i'm at home yeah oh can you grab that bag of doritos from the kitchen can i go in there you have to think about it i mean how is it worth getting on fire what if i just go inside you know it's like i don't know having a good time because i mean otherwise i'm that's what i'm saying if you're lost in the woods because when i would think this would become really important right this means you can't you don't have kindling you're in the woods yeah you're lost you need a fire yeah but you have multiple bags of doritos yeah if you're backpacking through the woods and you don't have a lighter but you have multiple bags of doritos on you you've made some

some well i guess you have you've have you've made a fire fire's already going you're in the woods surrounded by kindling yes now that's where you've taken all the kindling and now there's no more kindling yeah and i gotta sacrifice the doritos yeah okay some heat it'd be a tough day use different colored nail polish to identify your keys that look alike. I don't know. I mean, just... I need that one, actually.

You do? I think that's a good one. You go through a lot of problems with getting your house... Yeah, it just takes a long time. Takes you extra time. Yeah. And I don't live in a good part of...

Yeah. It's for a janitor. Yeah. You know what I do? I got my keys. I got them copied at the Dollar General. And you can pick a little

fun design i got a little american flag yeah it's for my house that's how i know it's my house key okay you don't need nail polish yeah you know you can just get a special keys do you have yeah you have a lot of keys you think this is more keys than i should have what do you have how many keys are i got three i got my house key yeah i've got a key to my shed. I've got a P.O. box key. And I've got my car key. And then this is like a little. Wait, there was, I think. So.

That's two. There's one extra. This is two for the P.O. boxes. So you carry both P.O. box keys. And the dude, yeah. I might. I need to go by there. I know, but why does one not work?

I think these are probably, they probably gave me two keys and I never took the extra one off. It's like they're your planet fitness. That's the planet fitness of your keys. And you got a bottle opener? Yeah, my dad got it. This is my stocking this year for Christmas. It's got a little screwdriver at the end of it. Okay.

You never know. I just like to be ready. I get that. Uh-huh. Two PO box. I mean, how often do you go to your PO box? You don't have a mail box? I have a regular mailbox. And you also have a PO box? box yeah i got a p.o for what people send me stuff

dude you just have it on your website yeah how do they know about how does your somebody stop me all the fans will write in yeah no i've had people from this podcast send me stuff and i had to set one up for my uh mail chimps thing so i needed one it's a small one dude i'm not it's not a big it's not a room i never had a p.o box until this podcast really yeah okay i might have to get one after yeah that's what you're supposed to do when you're doing comedy for three years make sure you get a p.o box i didn't know that's gonna take you to the next level. Well, how are they going to mail me funny shirts?

Somebody stop me. Yeah. Put your smartphone in a glass at night to make your alarm louder. I mean, I don't know how much you can't hear that alarm. I mean, it's got to be pretty loud right you put it in a glass that's not a glass is it it's a different iPhone hack

you put your iPhone in a sink or a bowl it's going to amplify the sound take pictures of friends holding items you've lent them so you don't forget down the road I wouldn't even want to live this life I would rather just lose this stuff than be like Pictures of friends holding items you've lent them so you don't forget down the road. I mean, I wouldn't even want to live this life. Like, I would rather just lose this stuff than be like, all right, Jerry, here's my shovel.

And you just got to hold it. And then you got to go take a picture on your phone. So I don't forget, Jerry. I know where this shovel's at. And five months later, you're just looking through some old pictures. Oh, David Gilillman that's where my shovel is hey jerry and he's like i didn't take your shovel oh that's funny that's funny you said that well thankfully i'm kind of crazy and i take took a picture of you holding my shovel and then he shows you a picture and he and it's just him in the garage going

there's no shovel and he goes well where's the shovel and then you're like huh where is it did he lean it to the limit to someone else i would be on board with that like yeah i uh taking pictures of i don't know i had something but i but I forgot. It doesn't matter. Here's one. Oh, go ahead. I'll read them. Label your water bottle by the hour to make sure you're drinking enough water each day. That's a good one.

I've seen you have that water bottle that just tells you straight up. So you can just buy them like that? Yeah. But you could just be like, I guess you put a mark. When you finish it, put another mark, and then that way it keeps it. So you know I need to drink eight of these today. You know how you're not – life hack is supposed to make your life go quicker, right? Yeah, I didn't think that. This is – you're being – I mean, you're going to spend three months just trying to put all this stuff into your life go quicker right yeah this is you're being i mean you're gonna spend three months just trying to put all this stuff into your life stack your clothes vertically to see them all

i mean it's like some of this is like i mean some of it i would tell people hey just do figure it out a lot of these life life hacks should just be do go in your closet you figure your own system what do you think i think those are near the end oh yeah i was waiting for it to be you know like it's like something that's really important you're like well i mean that's like you imagine somebody comes in a conference and they go i have trouble uh when i pack when i put my clothes away i can't ever find the ones that i want they go huh what if you did them vertically a you got to figure that guy knows what vertically means i have trouble vertically uh someone says like vert yeah or horizontal or something uh-huh sometimes those people say that

i'm always like what i get horizontal because i think a horizon oh i was horizontal goes sideways and vertical goes up yeah yeah i always get when someone says like they go you know it's like horizontal something i'm like i don't know i just go i'll find it up and down you know left or side to side that's what i'm saying yeah you just call it that yeah people like to use the word horizontal uh a frozen, wait, to get the build up residue off your shower head, tie a baggie of vinegar. I just kind of gave up. Is that all?

Put a pool noodle underneath the fitted sheet to keep your kids from falling out of the bed. Whoa. That's a good one. Yeah, there you go. You can call from falling out of the bed. Whoa. That's a good one. Yeah, there you go. You can call Child Services if that's the solution. Yeah. You know?

The kids, what kind of bed are they in? I mean, how big are the kids, too? I mean, goodness me. Well, you fell out of the bed a few times, right? Yeah, I was on the top bunk, but we had a rail and a railing, but I just, I would get by it. So this pool noodle wouldn't have stopped you at all i don't know it's like imagine if you had someone you know you had some relatives come

spend like this seemed like you have an aunt that's like i brought you know a pool noodle so my like i guess if you needed babies and they had to sleep in a regular bed right but you would have to be aware of that situation coming enough to bring the pool noodle, unless you just actively. Just carry one around. I think if you carried a pool noodle around, I think you would never use it. It would not be, you know. And whoever packs the trunk would be, eventually,

that would be the end of the marriage. They couldn't handle it because they would go, if you don't get this pool noodle, you know, and they'd be like, well, this one time we need. Can you imagine spending the night at someone's house and you go, hey, do you have a pool noodle? We don't have a pool. He goes, I know, but do you have like a pool noodle?

Just so the kids don't fall out of the bed. You're like, well, how high is the bed? Pretty high. They're rolling all over the place up there. Use toothpaste to clean hazy car headlights. I wonder if that works. I feel like that doesn't work. We have photographic evidence of it working right here I doubt that that's

yeah this is lifehack.org this is what these people do so one maybe if you're in a hotel running out of charges I mean the TV usually has a USB plug in

I don't know you know but there I did figure out a way this weekend like to I got the the USB

HDMI cord and then you plug the HDMI cord and then to the back of the TV and then you plug the HDMI cord into the back of the TV, and then plug that into your iPad or phone. There you go. You just stream everything. There you go. That's the way to do it.

There you go. That's a fun way. That's a life hack. That's a life hack. That's a fun. Or you can take a Roku sometimes. But this one is easier, because Roku you've got to connect to the internet.

It's a good travel. Just that adapter that connects to whatever, either your phone or UBC or your lightning charger. Laptop or whatever. It's a good travel. Just that adapter that connects to whatever, you know, either your phone or UBC or your lightning charger. Laptop or whatever. Whatever. And then buy that and an HDMI cord. And then, I mean, this weekend, I just unplugged the HDMI from the hotel

and put that right there. And then you just screen. And it just shows you watch anything on your phone, Netflix, HBO. Yeah. That's a good one. That's a good one. Alright. Put a small amount of water in a glass in your microwave pizza to keep the crust from getting chewy. Have you heard that?

I think I've heard that. I've never done it. I don't know if it should have been read on a podcast. I think I dropped... I was about to launch into my story. You got a story about this? Yeah. I mean, listen. What's your story about?

I remember seeing this. Somebody said you put a cup of water in when you microwave, heat something up. I think I tried it once, and I don't think it worked enough to do it again, so I've never done it again. It works good in a pan. If you put a pizza on a pan to heat it up

and then cover it like put a little water in the pan it works really yeah yeah so you guys take that with you you know what i mean there you go uh fill plastic water bottles a quarter of the way full and lay it on its side that way you can fill it with water later and have ice cold water on the go fill plastic water bottles a quarter of the way and then and then freeze it oh so you fill it up on the side freeze it on the side so that way there's ice all the way up and down it vertically that it this says nothing about freezing oh that's what it means yeah it says fill plastic water bottles a quarter of the way full and lay on side that way you can fill the water later and have ice cold water on the go go that's all it says so like i don't i mean that must have been me i must have left out the most important thing yeah

and put in freezer yeah you're like accident i accidentally left off the only reason you would do this is put it in the freezer oh okay, okay. You know what a cool life hack, dude? Yeah. Turn your water bottle sideways. I like that. Out of that sentence, you go, let me cut it down. I'll take out, you know, put it into the main, the whole point of it. Because, yeah.

All right. All right. We got some world records all right so if you guys olympics going on right now yeah world records being said every day i watched bobsledding the other night just like the race car one uh no it's a boxcar racing okay what's what i'm not familiar with bob wait no is that the one they do it alone it's like the yeah it is like you're talking like it looks like a race car yeah yeah yeah i don't think anybody would call the race car one but my bad yeah i would love to hear you yeah over there right now going where's the come on you guys uh caleb just walking around guys where's the race car thing at and they're like what you know the race car thing that goes down there i get that in the luge mixed up what's the luge i don't i don't mix that's on a sled it's the luge is just the one dude no laying on a sled. Okay. Yeah. All right.

Oh, yeah. You can do doubles, too. Yeah, you would think. That's a little uncomfortable looking. Yeah, that doesn't look like. There seems no reason for that. If there's double luge, there seems you would, if you're in that, you would go, well, what's the point? The guy on top, especially.

Yeah. The guy on top is like, is it just so the guy on the bottom doesn't die? Yeah. There's no reason for the double leash. I just can't imagine. Somebody had to say that out loud. They had to be like, you know what would make this better, honestly? Like, what if you put someone else on it?

Yeah. What if we put a guy on top of you and you go, okay, I don't know. You know? Yeah. That does make sense. And then I think I'm telling a joke about that bobsled. Because that should be bobsled because it's just Bob on a sled. But world record.

Didn't even try. But that, yeah, the double lose just makes no sense. I never even heard of that. Yeah. well. So if you were forced to have to set a world record, someone had a gun to your head, what would you go for? I mean, that big soda. Yeah.

You'd go something that route. You would just do something like that. But, like, what would you do? Like, have to drink it? Well, that's it. Talk about, like, an individual thing you have to do. Well, I don't think there's anything you could do. You wouldn't try if someone had a gun to your head to try something?

I don't know why that guy has a gun. If he's got a gun to my head and this is the question he's asking me to do, I'd be like, then you just want to shoot me then. And so what I would, I would come up with something that is a far away to walk i'll be like all right i'm gonna do them uh cross country yeah i'm gonna be a cross country runner yeah and then i would start doing that then eventually run away i guess that would be what i would tell him i want to be the oldest man to ever live yeah yeah like you're talking about olympic event no i'm talking about guin event. No, I'm talking about Guinness World Records.

Well, that would be the soda is in the Guinness World Records. But that's not a person. Well, if you make that, you're in it. Okay. I know the object didn't. It's not like that soda cup is the one that's like, well, I did all this. It's whoever made it. There was a guy in Idaho who, in 2021,

set out to set a new world record every week. And he did it. 52 world records last year. Wow. 43 have been verified by Guinness. There's nine left pending review. I think they're new world records that he created. That's the thing. They're adding world records that he creates. Like, that's the thing.

They're adding world records all the time. So he just come up with stuff like, first guy to do this or that. But it was like, fastest time to wrap a person with wrapping paper. Yeah. Most consecutive axe juggling catches. Stuff like that. But he said a new world record every week. Most apples thrown and caught in a mouth in one minute.

How many? I don't know. Oh, you didn't think to look that up. Well, he did 52 of them here. I mean, I know, but the ones you read, you don't think. I don't have the numbers on any of them. Yeah, 49 apples. 49 was way higher than I thought.

Yeah. That is very funny, though, to you to not know that number. To put that out and go, you know, most apples caught in someone's mouth. How many? I don't know. Most toilet paper rolls bounce on the head. I have no idea. No idea. Didn't look at it.

Didn't want to just let you know what the stuff is, you know. Man counted clouds in the sky. How many clouds is there? I don't know. I don't think he did. I counted the most clouds of anybody. Some of this stuff is you're the only one that tried it. Yeah.

I think that's a lot of what this guy was doing, right? He's creating his own 101 toilet paper rolls balanced on the head. That's a lot. And then he has to convince Guinness that it's worth adding. That's the thing. Oh, like this is a notable. There it is. He just sits there and he goes, hey, this guy's good at a bunch of nothing.

Like it would be, and I'm not trying to make fun of him. I'm just saying this is a guy that you would have. I'm not making fun of him, but it's like if you go hang out with him, you're like, he's fun. You're going to pay for everything when you all go out, but you're going to have a ton of fun with him. You know? You can't have a regular job and do this.

Yeah, you go out to dinner with him. He's going to use the most forks that night. It's going to be great. You're going to pick up the check. When that check drops, you'll watch. I mean, everything he's done. You know how much time it takes to do this stuff? And you don't get any money.

I think you have to pay Guinness, too. I was about to say, guys, we are all world record holders. That's right. Us three. Because we did the longest stand-up comedy show ever. Yeah. Really? Yep.

Here in Nashville. It was a podcast. That's awesome. Technically, I'm doing one right now, I think. Yeah. First black comic yeah yeah shout out to our month there you go black history month that's what we're that's why we're here we did it probably this won't come out till march yeah maybe not i don't know

well he's here in february uh so what was it 80 hours that the first time we said we've said it like two or three times but it was uh here in in Nashville, a couple of local comedians got together, Chad Ryden and DJ Buckley. It was at the East room here in Nashville. And we did it for what? Six days, something like that. Six, seven days. I started stand up the, the day after this ended the first one. Okay.

I remember I went to the open mic that Monday night. Everybody was so exhausted because they had just did several days in a row but this is the longest i think the laugh factory had the record they did yeah the national broke it by a lot by a lot yeah it was like 10 consecutive days started on april 12th and ended april 20th. And there were rules. It had to be 10 people in the audience at all times. I can't remember some of the others. Each comedian had to do – I don't guess it mattered how long you did. No.

It had to be somebody on the stage. Yeah, there had to be somebody on the stage. I mean, we all – Hannibal did it. Yep. Rory came down. Rory had still the funniest joke where he goes, what if there's just papers everywhere on the ground and it's just you realize it's just one guy that's up there like talking he's doing it all by himself

chad rod did great i thought this was such a cool thing yeah and it was really uh is at the beginning of the nashville comedy festival when it first came here and i think it had a very big part like i thought it was just a very cool thing to do. And I liked it. It was fun. Yeah. I think I went up a couple times. But just the idea of it was good.

And comics came from all over to be part of it. Just drove vans, crashed at people's houses. It was a lot of fun. It was a stand-up summer camp for a lot of guys. You just sleep at the venue. That's awesome. You got to wake up and be in the audience at 4 a.m. lot of guys. You just sleep at the venue. That's awesome. You got to wake up and be in the audience at 4 a.m., stuff like that. It's really, really cool. Yeah.

That's dope. Yeah, it was definitely a fun time. How much time do you think you could do? If I had to go up there? Yeah. Oh, man. I mean, if I had to think of the old jokes, I guess a couple hours that I can think of the old jokes uh i i guess a couple hours that i can think of but i mean i you know it's hard for me i can remember my old jokes from like full of my commissarial special uh

the netflix stuff i have a little bit harder time remembering because it's you know i don't know if i've said it before but like the commiss Central special is like you're working up to that for 10 years. And so it's like those jokes are around forever. And so you just really remember them. And then once you start doing Netflix, it's like once you're done, you got to get a new act. So you're just changing every couple of years. So it's hard for me to remember. I remember the Olivia joke, the dead horse joke.

I mean, I don't know if I could go through it, if I could say it all. The iced coffee cream joke, I don't know if I could do. I could probably get it started enough to figure it out. But if I have a pure act, maybe I could do two hours, but I think it'd be hard. I don't think it would be just like super easy. And the only reason I'm saying two is because an hour I could do right now for my new act so that i could do and i could

add stuff and i think i could get to two man that'd be hard the world record is 40 hours staying up solo yeah do you know who it was the midnight swinger who i've worked with before oh really david scott i think goes by david sc. He used to go by the Midnight Swinger. He did it April 29th, 30th in 2013 in Dubuque. 40 hours and 8 minutes. Yeah. Oh, Mr. Showtime. He goes by Mr. Showtime now.

Okay. I didn't know he went by the Midnight Singer. Swinger, yeah. That's crazy. Swinger, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 40 hours. Yeah.

That's a work week. It's probably repeating some jokes. That is a work week. Yeah, that's a full work week. I mean, can you go to the bathroom, I guess, and stuff? I don't know. Yeah. Hopefully.

Hopefully they'll let you. You don't have to do it on stage. Yeah. You got to take the mic with you. At what hour does it go where you go, I don't think this is worth it, but you're already too far? I think it's like- 30 minutes in. Yeah. Yeah. hour does it go where you go, I don't think this is worth it, but you're already too far? 30 minutes in. Yeah.

Well, 30 minutes you would quit. You think it's like at 10, you're like, I don't know. Does it matter? 10 hours? 10 hours? I'm a quarter of the way there. You're not even half. I mean, yeah, you got another 10 to get to half.

Man. Was there a record before that or was he just like- I don't know what record he broke i'm doing 40 like the first day would be uh 24 hours so you'd be like i guess it's two days i guess you'd have to think about it in days more than yeah yeah just get to the end of the day it's a long time he does a lot of music maybe monday Tuesday, then you're like, you got to go work the rest of the weekend somewhere else. Yeah, light me at 35 hours. Do you know who holds the world record for most sets in one night? Aaron Berg.

Yep. It used to be held by Steve Byrne, who lives here in Nashville. Is it real? It's in the Guinness Book of World Records? I don't know. When I Googled most sets, I mean, it came up. I don't know if Guinness honors it or not. Yeah, he did 25 sets.

Yeah. Wow. Steve Byrne did 13 one night, and that held for a while. They did a documentary on that, 13 or bust. But then Aaron Byrne set out to double it. He set out to do 23. He did two more. He had 25 sets.

Yeah. I mean, that's running around. You're just, you know, it's like you're just nonstop. You're going show, show, show, show, show, show. It's a lot. The most I did in a night was seven in New York. And that's really hustling, right? And that was hustling.

I mean, his has got to be starting super early, and you've got to be just – everything's got to really work out. But, you know, Steve Byrne did 13, which is a ton. 25 is crazy. It's just different. Steve Byrne probably did it. There wasn't as many rooms. Not saying – but it's super hard for Aaron,

but there's at least other – probably a lot more rooms to at least go do. But mean he had to get on it dude aaron had to get on i remember when he did it uh yeah i mean 11 hours took 11 hours to do yeah i mean so you probably got a hopefully there's a 3 p.m something 4 p.m something you know like there has to be something like that but it's it's very very hard to do i mean yeah and just how much who would you how would you even know what you're talking about at that point uh i mean i did when i did seven sets i would do i would do five four or five a lot but when i did seven a night it was even by the end you're like i don't know if i've said this joke over i've had trouble that sometimes in even doing when you got a full weekend of shows where sometimes you're like wait am i you just get kind of lost in a joke and then you're like

wait if i set this joke up right and then you because you're just like i'm doing so many shows you're talking so much and you got to try to try to – that's something you've got to work on. You've got to try to remain focused. But, yeah, that's a lot. Seven spots is what I did. I'm sorry. You did 25. I still think what I did is harder.

I want Aaron to hear it. Aaron, what I did was harder. I'm just kidding. The world record that they said is the hardest to authenticate and that's probably been fudged the most is oldest person. Because up until the last really 100 years, birth certificates, things like that, it was up until at least the 1900s, they just didn't have a good way to authenticate.

So people would come out and say, my great-great-grandfather was 145. And then you got to try to- He said that high? People have- People claim to be that. Oh, really? Yeah. And then you got to try to authenticate it.

And it's really, really hard. Now, everyone who's alive should have had a birth certificate. The oldest verified person was 122. That's crazy. There's a lady now who's 119. Really? Yeah. Sneaking up on her.

Wow. Yeah. And they were, oh, France and Japan. Yeah. Jean Calment of France. 122 years, 164 days. And that was in the 1800s or most of her life. 1875 to 1997.

She died when I graduated high school. She was 25. She was born in 1875. She lived 97 years. That's so crazy. From the 1800s. Yeah. 1875 to 1997.

I mean, you got to just be like, I mean, what you've seen is crazy. You've just seen everything. You saw it go to be the worst of times, the best of times. I wonder if she even knows what's really going on. How many of those last few years? How many of those really count? Yeah. Tell me something that happened that year.

She got stuck in a corner for five of those years And they go I mean that's gotta be Yeah And that's awesome though Yeah and there's still people in Underdeveloped countries that claim to be Really really old but

There's just no good way to authenticate it Because they don't have You're going off their memory. You're going off possibly 145-year-old memory. I think I would know. And they're like, okay. And the way they would do it, they would look in a Bible where someone wrote the birth

or something in a Bible. Yeah. Things like that. I mean, in biblical times, people lived 900-something. But the oldest authenticated by Guinness is 122. But this 119-year-old saved it. Why do you think we're still less than the biblical times? Sugar?

Yeah. Yeah? Probably. Big part of it, sugar. Yeah. They didn't have barbers back then to help them out. Yeah. The record that they say will probably be the hardest to broke

is the world's tallest man. He was 8' 11 And still growing When he died Oh wow Really Yeah How did he die Robert

Well Just That I think his Internal organs Just couldn't Keep up with his growth Yeah

I think he was very young When he died Like he needs to be Standing next to that cup Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah That's not him I think he was very young when he died He needs to be standing next to that cup Yeah That's not him I mean that 8'11 is so tall I mean you're just

Golly He could almost sit on a car Just without The top of a car It would be It would be like you trying to hop up on a barstool That's just above your waist Is how he would get on

He could dunk a basketball without even Tippy toes Just standing flat foot Yeah you could be like Wow dude He just enters the room And you just I mean can you imagine

It looks fake Yeah it does he just enters the room and you just i mean can you imagine that looks it looks i mean yeah it does well it's the idea that everybody wants to meet you too like everybody so you're there's no private moment of your life like you don't you know everywhere you go is just every second of your day robert blend in here okay i'm not'm not trying to. Yeah. Come on, man. Yeah. I mean, honestly, every second of your day is you're getting looked at. Yeah. I mean, because you never, no one would get used to it. No.

And so like every time you turn, it's one, it's the Joe DiMaggio. It's every, he goes, this is one kid's first time ever seeing me, so I'm going to give them all. And he goes, and he just touched streetlights as he walks by. And they go, God, that's a great story. Yeah. Wow. That's crazy.

And have you heard of this guy who was, at one point in his life, he was a legal dwarf, and then he became a giant. Wow. What happened? He was born with dwarfism, and I think he developed a condition that forced him to grow. So he was 4'10". In one decade, he grew from 4'10 to 7'1".

Wow. I mean, that's just- He lived both lives. Yeah, wow. How long did he live? Not long. Okay. Yeah.

All right. So that's not good. No, no. He wasn't pumped about it. Oh, he died at 51. 51. At 7'8". Yeah.

And he went through seven. He lived a life. Yeah. Like, I mean, that guy, you couldn't, you know, like now people talk about always being a victim. Well, good luck trying to be a victim over that guy, you know? He's like, I mean, he's never been normal. Like, he's either a little person or a giant. There's a brief window there.

He was killing it. Yeah, the month of August was the greatest time of his life. Like that goes. Whatever he's a 1965 August. I could go. I was just, I was 5'11 to 6'3. It was just such a great time. I was just, you know, everything was reachable.

I was just living life. It was, you know, just saw it for a second. And then, you know, September came around, and it was just my head in my head every time on every door frame. Just a night. And from there on out, it was just, head in my head every time on every door frame. Just a nightmare. And from there on out, it was just, you know, blew up. I mean, there's got to be a tiny window where he was. Yeah.

Yeah. Where it was like. It was in the pocket. It was in the pocket. And he was like. Clothes fit great. Living it up. Yeah.

It could blend in, dude. People weren't staring at him. And if he would have known, he'd be like, go meet your wife now. Yeah. That moment. Go, go meet your wife now. That moment, go meet your wife. Do you think when he was little, he married too quick? And then he's like, oh, my gosh. And then he was like, I should have held out. I could have got something better.

And then he got real tall and was like, I'm glad I stuck with her. Yeah, I mean, she could have her own complaints. Just if your husband just comes home one day and he can't fit in the door. Yeah. And just the amount you got to adjust to. Like, you're just like, it took you so long to get used to one thing,

and then you're like, come on. He gets mad. He's like, you think I like it? You think I like it? There's their fights. She's been cleaning the gutters most of their life. Now he's out there not even designing a thing and he's doing it. The guy who set the world record for the heaviest person ever, Joe Brower Minnock,

he also set the world record for most weight lost and largest weight difference between him and his wife. He weighed 1,400 pounds. Okay. His wife weighed 110. That doesn't even make sense. What's his name? Joe Brower Minnock. Minnock with an I.

Yeah. He lost 924 pounds. Oh, dang. Good for him. So what does that end up being? He got down to 476. Okay. Wow.

Yeah. I mean, that's like. That's impressive. That's a lot, man. I mean, that's crazy. That's like, look at you, dude. That's so much weight. Where's his wife?

Sure, his wife? I don't want to keep scrolling down. I'll type in wife. Yeah. Yeah. She didn't want to be in any of these pictures. Yeah. She's just not in.

Yeah. Well, she weighed 110. I mean. Very 15. She's probably behind him. Never lose him in the room. You know, you get in the house. Where's John?

Because he's in here. He's around here somewhere. He's tearing the corner. 400 pounds. It's good. The most watched man on TV. Anybody want to guess? Johnny Carson.

Yeah, man. I was about to say. This is worldwide. Worldwide. Worldwide. Yeah. Alan Ar worldwide. Worldwide. Worldwide. Yeah. Alan Arka from MASH. News president.

I don't know. It's big in Germany. Hitler. David Hasselhoff. Okay. Okay. So, yes. Okay.

Close. I don't know. It's pretty close. Baywatch at its peak had 1.1 billion viewers a week. Isn't that crazy? That's crazy. 1.1 billion? Yeah.

This was in every country. Why did that show translate so well to the rest of the world and some of the other shows don't? I don't know, Aaron. Why do you think? That's fair. All right. good point never never saw it but yeah you never seen baywatch never seen at the beginning because now it's something different you know what it is i just david has it off he's in that and that's all i got pretty much yeah i know it's like they're life

guards yeah and they do the running thing yeah yeah it was banana is david hassoff okay yeah and then how do you know he landed at that time yeah yeah he's in the baywatch okay yeah and night rider yeah and then the bay yeah it's crazy baywatch was it's it's crazy how big of a show all these shows that we think that are the biggest shows and baywatch is like relax everybody they got olympic numbers i kind of saw the new one yeah i've never seen the new one with the rock and zach efron yeah oh yeah fun thing rock i'll tell you what he's in everything yeah everywhere aaron loves the rock yeah do you yeah that's his are you annoyed that he's everywhere well i was just i was talking to kevin i was like man he is just everywhere and then we watched the super bowl that he's everywhere? Well, I was talking to Caleb. I was like, man, he is just everywhere. And then we watched the Super Bowl, and he's just screaming on the 50-yard line.

I go, what's going on here? I know. It's a lot. I bet The Rock is the best dude and the most awesome dude in the world. He has to be, right? I think so. But then there's a point you're like, yo, dude. I mean, hey, talk about my complaint.

I always think about celebrities. I mean, look at the Super Bowl. The main celebrities are all doing every commercial now. No regular people are getting commercials. They literally get anybody they want. They're like, I'll do it. I'll do it. All these multi, multi-millionaires.

Dolly Parton doing the T-Mobile. Whatever. And I get it's like, well, it's a Super Bowl, blah, blah, whatever. But it's like there's something that doesn't make, I don't know. It's very weird to me that they're, it's like all of you do it. All of you.

Nobody, nobody backed off. No one said, no, I don't have to, I don't have to do it. I'm a, you know, the most famous person ever.

Maybe I'll, maybe I'll back off this Lays commercial. Maybe let me, you know, Paul Rudd and Seth Rgan just sit there and you're like yeah maybe i'll just duck out on this one there's no reason to you know get someone that's like somewhat on their way up i'm not saying me it sounds like i'm saying me i but like it would but just like i don't know something like it's it's like they over you know i remember when

commercials switched to the where it was using celebrities, and it was kind of a cool thing. But I don't feel like now. That's all it is now. That's all it is. So it's like it almost maybe it used to be cool because it wasn't every day. So the Super Bowl was the only time you got to see it, and that was fun. But now you're like, these people don't leave. They're in everything, every day.

I see them every day. So now I don't leave. They're in everything, every day. I see them every day. So now I don't have to. I feel like they're not as funny anymore either. Yeah. I feel like I didn't see one that made me laugh. I usually don't even get them. Well, they had, yeah. Usually, yeah.

Yeah, Larry David, everybody's like that one. But it's like even, he's selling crypto. Like you're like, what are you? Yeah, that's what I was going for. Ah, dude, you're like, it's the whole point is you're like it's it's like he's too in on the joke of him and you're like yeah it's dude you're like you know you're selling cryptocurrency i don't like that you're selling cryptocurrency i just don't i don't like that it's this pop now it's like well we're all just pushing crypto and you're like who i don't know yeah why do they want us to so yeah he needs but the rock definitely needs to back off

he needs to you're like i mean i love him i think i would love him if i think everybody would love him if you met him we may run for president yeah i and it's but it's like you know medical we may run for president yeah i and it's but it's like you know you're like it's it's a lot dude you're at every single you're like oh look who's here everything that anybody does you are available for in our birthing class they talk about when the baby's first born they show up when the baby's first born it's important to have it on the mom's chest. Skin-to-skin contact. Then the dad's supposed to do it. Take your shirt off.

Skin-to-skin. We're doing this birding class. They put up a picture of the rock with his baby on his chest. And then I'm up there with a stuffed animal doing the same thing. With your shirt off? The biggest chest. Well, with my shirt. Yeah.

The biggest chest in the world is the example they use wait so you had a stain in the front of everybody with your shirt off not all the way off just okay there it is right there oh they showed this picture yeah all right bitch recreate that yeah that baby's got ink poisoning but it's i didn't take my shirt off yeah i would but not that makes it fun if they made you go brian not going to take your shirt off yeah and then they just put you next to that and then you're like it looks like he made his wife get out of the bed yeah he's in her bed yeah he goes all right my turn get up get up and she's like all right hold on scooch scooch she just gets out of bed like nah he wants to take

a picture he's got a big following. So we're letting him take a picture. And then he's like, give me the baby. Give me the baby. And they're like, all right, easy, big fella. Easy. He's so big. Yeah.

This was just set. The most points scored in a women's Division I basketball game. Not as much as I thought. This was like two weeks ago. I saw it. The girl from Iowa, right? Kansas State. Okay.

I guess I didn't see it. Maybe she was playing Iowa. Like 45 points? It's more than that. 61. Oh. Most points by a guy, 138. I mean, that's where?

That's some small college. Yeah. Grinnell College, wherever that is. Yeah. You know what record that it seems like it was... It's fair, but it just seems almost... Melvin Gordon set the record for most rushing yards in a game. Broke like a...

The Damien Thomas is like 20-something-year-old record. The next week, someone broke his record. 400-something yards. Who was it the next week? It was, I think, the guy who was just playing the Super Bowl, Sammy Perrine. How do you say his name? Yeah. But he held it for one week.

This is college. Oh, college. The college record. No, it was the other way around. It was the guy from Wisconsin. Melvin Gordon. No, it was a big guy.. It was the guy from Wisconsin. Melvin Gordon. No, it was a big guy. Maybe a guy from... It wasn't Melvin Gordon.

It was the big... Rod Dane? Yeah. I'm talking about single game. Yeah, but I think Ron Dane did it and then the next day another person did it. Someone broke after Ron... Type in that guy's name, Dane. Dane? Yeah. You might be talking about career rushing.

I don't think so. Well, for a single game, there it is. This guy? Yeah. He broke that a week after Melvin Gordon. As a freshman, 427 yards versus Kansas. Okay, 427. But why is the number two 409?

Because that guy came along later in 2020. What was – Melvin Gordon at? Melvin Gordon was three. Keep going down. Three. Oh, there it was. All right. So Melvin Gordon, November 15th, ran for 408 yards.

And then on November 28th. Yeah. No. Oh, God. Yeah. The next day? The next week. That's tough, man.

He broke his record. Why would they switch him out? Keep going down. I just want to see if Ron Dane's on record. Why would they switch him out? Keep going down. I just want to see if Ron Dane's on there. Why would they switch him out? What do you mean? How did he lose his starting spot when he ran for 408 yards? I'm not sure what you're talking about.

Why is he not playing the next game? I would imagine if you have a player that runs 408 yards, you don't go, well, we're going to sit him next week. That's what doesn't make sense to me. Who are you talking about? The thing we're talking about, dude. The main thing. Yeah, this guy.

I don't know. Wait, is it the same team, though? It's the same team? Whoever this is, Oklahoma, that broke this record, right? You're saying he broke Melvin Gordon's record the week before. Oh, they're not on the same team? No. This is the NCAA.

I was looking at a picture of Adrian Peterson. Okay. Okay, gotcha, yeah. You're right. That wouldn't make sense, though, if you were like, is it four or eight? I think you've done enough. You're right. All right.

Thanks for bringing stuff in. Before everybody turns on me, remember you ought to sit through that life hack stuff. So don't go too crazy on the Brian train. And Brian train, you ought to put it together before it got going. The Brian train is just like, can everybody get off and help us attach it? And you're like, I thought we just bought tickets for it. He goes, yeah, I know, but we need everybody to

kind of give it a push. Had a couple of good moments there. The egg crate with the Christmas ornaments. Yeah. That was a real highlight. Clip that one. Clip that one for Nate's Instagram. Most hours ever on television,

Regis Feldman. 16,000 hours Go Irish Oh he's a Notre Dame grad? Oh yeah Is he the most famous Notre Dame grad? I mean Not if I have anything to say about it Yeah

That's right Joe Montana Joe Montana Probably If you exclude athletes Probably Regis Yeah You've never had a president?

No Never had a president Hmm Ball State? probably Regis. Yeah. You've never had a president? No, never had a president. Hmm. Ball State? Wait, a serial killer. Yeah. I was going to say,

you impacted more lives than Regis did. Yeah. That's for sure. Here's a new one. Superhero record. Tobey Maguire and Willem Dafoe just set the record with the new Spider-Man movie. Longest time spent

as the same Marvel character. How long is that? 20 years. He's been Spider-Man and... That should tell you. I mean,

that's the point. That should tell you to go like, it's probably time for us. No one gets out of the way. Everybody just rides whatever they're doing. They ride it till the...

And I mean, look, they're getting paid so why would you... They keep offering offering you a ton of money just no creativity it's just like same thing for 20 years 20 years hey you're gonna watch them in a commercial now oh yeah same people they're all in that commercial guess who's watching the game got tickets to the game all those same people they're at the game watching it you're like there you go that's cool so we're just watching the same 40 people watch. There's like 40 people.

They're making all of our movies. All of our, there's nothing else. That's why I think Netflix does good. They do a lot of original stuff. More than like, you know, they're at least making movies. I know they made The Irishman, which is the, you're trying to get Scorsese. I get like trying to.

You said that like a superhero. The Irishman. The Irishman Which is the You're trying to get Scorsese I get like trying to You said that like a superhero The Irishman The Irishman Yeah Yeah Scorsese That's every All his movies

Are just like Boys you want to Get back together Every call Hey guys I'm doing the same thing We'll just do it A little bit different

Oh yeah I'll do it man Alright cool Different suits This time He goes nah We're going to do it, man. All right, cool. Different suits this time. He goes, nah, we're going to do it this way over here this time. All right, what role am I? Everybody's the same role. Why break it?

I'm not trying to attack Scorsese. Someone's going to get mad. I get that he's great, but. Yeah. Do you know what the longest golf drive ever is in a professional golf tournament? Oh, it's Kyle Berkshire. 700 and 784.

787. No way. Did you just guess that? Yeah. 787 yards? Yeah. At the Texas Open. I thought you knew it somehow.

That's pretty good. No. You would have won a Price is Right because you didn't even bid over. Yeah. The guy, he drove it 300 yards, and then it hit the cart path, and it went past three different holes down the cart path. Some people think 10 Cup, that scene, maybe came from this, where it just keeps going and going and going.

I was thinking of a different hole. I was thinking of the one they did on the match. There's one in Wyoming or something. And there's a hole, and you can – I've played it on a simulator, and you can actually – if you hit this, it's A, you got that altitude, so your ball's going to go farther. And if you can hit it 270, 280, it'll roll down a hill. And they did it on the match, Bryson DeChambeau and them.

And, I mean, you're driving 700 yards easy there. Wow. So that one's – that's probably in a PGA event. The Texas Open. Yeah. So that's an actual, like, event. But if they ever played the thing, it's like a – you know, in my head that's what I was thinking.

So that's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. Pro golfer Mark Witt, the 1991 Ben Hogan Knoxville Open, drove a ball 300 yards, but it went to the left, went down the fairway, rolled down a hill backwards, and rolled backwards 250 yards. Going 50 yards. Wow.

For a 300-yard drive. Yeah. Yeah, that's crazy. The longest putt ever made was 125 yards. Is that Jack Nicklaus? No, this was just like an amateur, but it was 125 yards. Was that Jack Nicklaus? No, this was just like an amateur, but it was – Did you ever see Jack Nicklaus? That's one of my favorite clips.

Yeah, clips. He goes, look, just do this. You want me to show you how it's done? Yeah. He goes in. Where was that? Like on a – He was doing like a pro-am or like, you know, something like that.

And it's – one of the commentators who played golf is like, well, how do I putt this? He goes, just do this. And he hits it, and it's a crazy long putt. This was a 66-year-old guy playing in St. Andrews, and the first two guys in front of him, the wind was at their back, and they went way over, par three. So he's like, I'm just going to putt it.

And then it went over the hill. I guess there's a little ink. They couldn't see it, and then they couldn't find the ball, and it was in the hole. Wow. How many people have to verify this before it's accepted? Like, if you do something miraculous on the golf course? Roundabout. Just a couple guys walking by.

I don't know. I mean, this guy. Well, I don't know about for Guinness, but. Well, there's a video. There's videos now of people putting from tees, and the ball goes in the hole. Really? Yeah. They're not super long par threes, but it's like there's videos now of people putting from tees and the ball goes in the hole really yeah they're not super long par threes but it's like there's now there's like a few videos where someone's done it but if caleb and i came to you and said i made three hole-in-ones this weekend

i mean would you i wouldn't believe you but but would you have to accept it as fact no i wouldn't yeah no i wouldn't accept it i know that what you want me i wouldn't accept it as fact? No, I wouldn't. No, I wouldn't accept it. I don't know what you want me. I wouldn't accept it. I would make y'all go watch y'all swing. I'd go, let me come swing the club real fast. Let me just see it. I'm from Pinehurst.

Yeah, that is true. You told me you're from Pinehurst. I'd be like, let me see you swing. I think I made two, at least. At least two. You made contact with the ball twice? That's what it was. You didn't play ever growing up in Pinehurst? You know, everybody there kind of takes lessons growing up,

but never really played. It's very expensive there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like a hop-on course. Exactly. Yeah. I was holding out what I was about to say. I forgot what we were talking about.

Most movie tickets sold, gone with the wind. Crazy that still holds up. Adjusted for what ticket prices are now, it brought in $3.4 billion. Oh, wow. Way more than Avatar. Really? More than the new Star Wars

and stuff too. Never. I was going to say that the local newspaper, the Tennessean here, you can put your name in the paper for a hole in one, or at least you used to, but you have to have two witnesses on the hole with you. And it'll list it, so-and-so hit this course, this hole, witnessed by so-and-so and so-and-so. Is that still on there?

I think they finally stopped. I was the only one that still really enjoyed reading it. I would always look at it. Occasionally I would know somebody. Yeah, there was, I knew someone on it. There was,

there was our, our like legends where I play, they send, I mean most country clubs

or something send emails out and they'd like be like, oh, this person got a hole whole one here. But you do have the witness. Yeah. Most Big Macs eaten in one setting.

I think we may even mention this. Joy Chestnut ate 32. There's a dude that just eats Big Macs, too. I saw it on TikTok, I think. He's had one a day for the the past 30 years that's all he eats yeah well there was a guy that documentary supersized oh yeah and this guy that's what he did morgan that's probably used to have to watch a whole documentary to get that yeah now you got it in one second yeah that's the like i'm the only way i knew that is because i had to

watch a two-hour documentary yeah and it's funny to be like now. You're like, no, no. I was 15 seconds of my life. And you know the same thing I know. Yeah, for sure. There's a guy that's been eating a lot of Big Macs every day for his life. Yeah. He's doing fine.

Saves so much time, too. I'm glad I did it that way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't really watch movies. There's another TikTok thing where you can watch Like the summary of movies Yeah

And that's all you do That's all I do That's all you do Do you ever binge watch? Yeah The TikTok? Binge watch TV? Like I'll binge watch shows

If they're really good I know this 25 year old guy From Brooklyn Most binge watch TV hours He did 94 straight hours Binge watching Watched Bob's Burger

Game of Thrones Kirby Enthusiasm Battlestar Galactica, among others. Set the world record. He had hallucinations and neurological side effects. Afterwards. But he did it.

Probably doesn't even remember Battlestar Galactica. He's like, I don't even, what was it about? He goes, I don't know. Why did I even do it yeah alright I think that's about it that's good

yeah alright everybody yeah don't forget Mike Vecchione special I'm on tour my dates are on tour Caleb Elliot

you go out check your you have a website and all that yeah check me out on social it's Caleb Elliot Comedy you know what I'm saying there you go y'all have stuff I'm not sure when this comes out but maybe before April You go out and check your website and all that? Yeah, check me out on socials, Caleb LA Comedy.

You know what I'm saying? There you go. You all have stuff? I'm not sure when this comes out, but... It should be before April in Salt Lake City. Oh, yeah, in Salt Lake City. Ryan co-headlining Wise Guys. A lot of people have messaged us saying they're getting tickets. It should be fun.

Yep, April 15th, 16th. There you go. Way to sell it. Should be fun. I mean, that's like Vandy's own. Have fun, expect to win You know Should be fun

Alright As always we love you Thank you very much Bye Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions And me nate margutzi and my wife lara on the all things comedy network recording and editing for the show is done by genovations media thanks for tuning in be sure to catch us next week on the nateland podcast