The Nateland Podcast - 9: #9 | Meats with Greg Warren

Episode Date: April 1, 2026

This week, Nateland favorite Greg Warren makes his Public Figures debut to talk to the guys about barbecue, steak, and other meats. MUD/WTR: mudwtr.com/NATELANDStart your new morning ritual & get up to 43% off your @MUDWTR with code NATELAND at mudwtr.com/NATELAND! #mudwtrpod #adiRestore:irestore.com/NATELANDReverse hair loss with @iRestorelaser and get exclusive savings on the iRestore Elite, use code NATELAND at irestore.com/NATELAND! #irestorepod #adSuperpower: Superpower.comHead to Superpower.com and use code NATE at checkout for $20 off your membership. Unlock your new health intelligence. 100+ biomarkers. Every year. Detect early signs of 1,000+ conditions. #superpowerpod #adHelix: helixsleep.com/nateGo to helixsleep.com/nate for their Spring savings event and get 20% off Sitewide. 

This message comes from Capital One Commercial Bank. Your business requires commercial banking solutions that prioritize your long-term success. With Capital One, get a full suite of financial products and services tailored to meet your needs today and goals for tomorrow. Learn more at Capital One.com slash commercial member FDIC. Hi. Welcome to the Public Figures Podcast. Another great episode on the way. We're so excited about this one.

We're pumped. We got, I'm wearing my St. Louis jersey today. And we're excited to welcome another guest. But first I got with me, Aaron Weber. Good morning, everybody. Brian Bates. All right. And our special guest for the first time on the Public Figures podcast, please give it up for Greg Warren.

Hey, guys. How's going? Hey. So it's good to be here. Yeah, we're pumped to have you. You know, I was going to wear this jersey anyway because I was just in St. Louis. Yeah. But I'm happy that you're here on the day that I'm wearing this.

Man, that's really nice looking. Yeah, did the factory this weekend in St. Louis sold out. Nice, man. And so it gave me a jersey with my name on the back. I don't like wearing jerseys with other men's names on the back. But when I got my own name, it feels good. Yeah. That's how'd you like St. Louis?

I loved it. Yeah. I had a great time. I mean, of course, the factory's in Chesterfield. It's out in the suburbs. Yeah. I live in the suburbs. But I love it.

They treated me so nice. The factory was great. They gave me a cake. They gave me gifts. I went to a cigar bar after called Lit, and they really hooked it up. I'd never been treated so well. The owner took pictures with me, gave me free cigars. Really?

It was amazing. Did you get any food? I got, no, nothing notable. Okay. Yeah. I should have told you. I forgot you were going there. There's a place across the street, across the highway called Annie Gunn.

It's a steakhouse. It's really good. I wish I could have gone there. That's real good. Yeah. Well, this is going to be another great episode. And we are, you know, this is, we're on episode six, I think, of this podcast. And it's been going well.

And people are. I think it's like 10. I don't. Nine. Okay. Well. I'm going to stick with six. I think it's six.

I prepared. I prepared for. Set upside down six. It's an upside down six. Greg, prepare for six. So we better stick a six. Yeah, yeah. I didn't come in with nine energy.

We're going to talk about farming today. Oh, yeah. And is there anything I need to know, you know? Yes. Okay. It's a little bit different than Nate Land. Yeah, that's what I was wondered. Because I came in with sort of.

We pitch where we're going to be this weekend off the top, and then we do it again at the end of the show. Really? Yeah. So we really want to get the dates out there. I get that. Yeah, yeah. That's a big difference.

Nobody told me about that. Yeah. Yeah, so are your dates, do you have your dates ready? Yeah, I got, I mean, I got a couple. Okay. As long as you have it ready. Yeah. You know, don't mess this up.

You were our most guests we had on Nateland. I didn't say that very well, but yeah. Yeah, yeah. Frequent, I think we're, right? Yeah, I think would be a real. Yeah. Frequent and our most. You are the most.

And every way you can say that. You're the most. We'll see about public figures. It's a whole ball game. So this is somewhat of an audition. Yeah, you're starting from scratch, buddy. You don't get anything going. No. Okay. Wow. No carryover.

Nope. All right, man. You know, that's a lot to deal with. I got to remember dates right off the top. Yeah. Yeah. We got our own coffee cups now. You see that? That's impressive. Look at that. And then, and different colors and everything. We only get them in the studio. We don't get to have any of these at home. But we do get them in the studio. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Man, I'd like to have one of these. I'll tell you what. That's the first time I've seen a fourth one. Yeah. They might have printed that one for you. Just for Greg. Yeah. There's one back there too.

Oh, wow. That's really nice looking, man. Yeah. Yeah. And the purple, I think, is the best color. I think so. It's kind of a combination of a couple of colors. Blue and red.

What is it? Yeah, red and blue and white, I think makes purple. I don't think you need white, but you made it a little white for that shade. Might have lighten it up a little bit. Yeah, yeah. You don't want a dark purple. No. No.

But, yeah, so that's where, you know, I was insane. But next, you know, I'm off for April, basically. I have a show at Zanis on the 14th. And then I'll be in Dallas May 1st and Houston May 2nd. Oh, great, man. Yeah. Used to live in Houston. Yeah.

And if you go see Dusty at Zanies that week, stick around for that weekend. I'm going to be headlining Zanies Comedy Club as part of the Nashville Comedy Festival that weekend. I think April 16th, 17th, whatever, that Friday, Saturday, first time in the big room. I'm pretty excited about it. And then May 1st and second. First time headlining the big room. He's been in the big room many times. Too much, yeah, too much.

May 1st and 2nd, I'm in Salt Lake City at Wise Guys. And then May 3rd at the DC Improv, Washington, D.C. So I'm excited about all those shows. A lot coming up. Greg, what about you? I love that club, by the way. DC Impro? For another good thing.

That's a great club, man. So fun. I know April 10th, I'm in Columbia, Missouri at the Missouri Theater. All right. To run into college. And then April 11th, I'm at the. Goloys Theater in Springfield, Missouri. All right.

That's where I was born. Okay. And then April 14th, when you're doing, you know, I don't want to counter program you. But when you're doing your show over there, as part of the Nashville Comedy Festival, we're doing an episode of the consumers over here. Okay. And Aaron Weber is going to be our guest. All right.

And then later that week, the 15th to 18th. So if my show doesn't sell out, I'll blame you guys. Yeah. I mean, I mean, I mean, we got it. less seats over here. So it's like, you can't put it on us. So even some overflow from your show may come into mind. That's what I'm hoping the other way around.

That's what I was angling for here. No, those tickets are going pretty quick. And then the 15th, April 15th through the 18th, I'll be at the Moon Tower Comedy Festival down there in Austin, Texas. All right. We're doing, I'm doing some stand-up and I'm doing some episodes of the consumers too. Okay. Awesome, man.

Real excited. Moon Towers Fung. Yeah. Yeah. I did it one time. It's great, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, they got to, I'm going to get, go all in on some barbecue down there.

Oh, yeah. Austin does a real nice. Save it for the topic. Oh, yeah. Terry Blacks? Yeah. Yes. Yes.

Yeah. That's good spot. Does not just hear Aaron say save it for the topic? Strike Terry Blacks. Terry Black. Do not mention Terry Black. Well, he said it. I had at least, all I said was yes.

I know. I didn't want to just pretend like I didn't hear him. You brought it on. That's rude. Yeah. Yeah, I started and I need to bookend it. I got a lot here on Terry Blacks. Okay.

I don't actually. Brian, you got a big night tonight, but what else do you have coming up? Well, most of my shows in April already sold out, but just to play along with you guys. What's that like? What's that like? You must be feeling like you're just playing with the house money. This is. Let me think about my next public show that person could buy a ticket to.

Is that 28? Is that what we're looking at? 25th. April 25th and 6th. Sykston, Missouri. April 25th, I'm in Sykston, Missouri. Do you know where Sykeston? Yes, man.

What are you doing there? You guys are really hitting up Missouri pretty hard. I just was in Missouri. I don't believe there's ever been a comedy show in Sykston. Well, that's the kind of shows Brian does. What are you doing down there? He brings comedy to people where they've never had problems. It is unbelievable.

They go, is this guy doing a testimony or what? I was going to fly. It's just easier to drive, Greg. Yeah, no, I know. I know about that. I'm telling, I drove through Sexton the other day. I had a friend from Syxton. Nobody's ever done a comedy show.

Is there a club? Not exactly, but there's a Christian Academy that's doing a spaghetti fundraiser. Oh, yeah. Man, I try to get booked on that several times. Brian's planting seeds for new markets for everybody. Yeah, that's got to. You got to. There's a whole generation of comics that are going to work Sykston thanks to Brian Bay.

Comedy and spaghetti. I mean, come on. I think there's a Caesar salad served beforehand. It's just quiet. You just hear. You're up there going twirl the fork, twirl the fork. So, pass Parmesan. My buddy, Johnny Kavanaugh, he was a comic in St. Louis.

And he's just a real nice guy. And he would always have these gigs that nobody ever heard of. And he was a real generous guy. And he'd always want to hook you up with these gigs. And I think one of them was down in sex. He just have these clubs, and they were clubs. Yeah. And he was like, well, Dad, do you never play a door knockers down there in Sykeston?

I call Fred right now. I'll get you. They're always shocked when you've never played it. What's that club name we always joke about? Somebody made fun of me. Stinky's joke barn. Stinkies joke barn. Oh, yeah.

Is that real? I don't think so. It's a great name, though. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Well, I think you're going to kill down there. I think there's a lot of money inside. Sykeston.

Yeah, there he is. I can tell you. Really? I don't go to Sykestone or does anybody. Somebody told me per capita. Now, my friend Lance in high school told me per capita

one of the richest places in the world. And Lance didn't get everything right, so I don't know. You think Sykston could get me if they weren't one of the richest places in the world? You're right, man. Brian's playing Sykston and then Bahrain. That's why his calendar.

That's why. brand's calendar's not so full because it's only where the big money is saying. Well, I didn't say it wasn't full, but okay, Dusty, thank you. Yeah, I got a couple holes in there, but I make up for it in Sykeston. Is there a deal where you can get the spaghetti and not see your show? That's a good question. Like doors open at six, I go on a seven. Bring it to go box.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you here for the show? No. It made me so much. Yeah, that's what they ask him. You're here for the show with a spaghetti. You ever have that moment where you feel like you want coffee, but you know it's going to ruin your whole morning? That used to be me because I love the taste, the ritual, everything about coffee.

But one full cup, Brian, you know. I'm jittery, anxious. My brain's going in ten different directions. So you start looking at alternatives. How can I get the good of a cup of coffee without all the bad stuff? It's mud water. I got it right here on the table with me. They got a new low cow coffee blend.

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Ready to make the switch to a better ritual, head to mudwater.com and grab your starter. kit today. Right now our listeners will get an exclusive deal up to 43% off your entire order plus free shipping and free rechargeable frother. Got it right here at the table. When you use code Nate Land. That's right. Up to 43% off with code NateLand at M-U-D-W-T-R.com. After you purchased, they'll ask how you found them. Show your support and let them know that we sent you. So we talk about our past weekends. You've kind of got it going. But yeah, I also went to

Paducah, Kentucky. And it was great. I had a great show there. Really fun. People got pretty rowdy, though. Towards the end of the show, they really, like, I don't know, about an hour, 18 in,

and people, they just can't hold it together. Of your set? Yeah. Well, I don't blame them. They can't hold it together anymore. What were they doing? They were just yelling out. They were yelling out requesting jokes.

Oh, come on. That's nice. I mean, it was fun. I liked it, but yeah, they really. And I kept talking about that. I saw a restaurant there called the Pizza Inn. And so I made the joke. I just said, yeah, we got a good place.

We're staying at the Pizza Inn. And the place went wild because apparently this Pizza Inn is very popular in Paduca. They say it's the number one pizza Inn in the country, which I don't think there's many left. There was one when I was growing up. They had them in San Luis. I don't think there. I've never heard of it. It's a pizza restaurant chain, but it's a, you know, it's a hotel.

It's not a hotel. It's just called the Pizza Inn. In with one end? Two ends. There's pizza in here? Yeah. Two ends. Okay.

Like it's a hotel. Yeah. They would just stay a while. Yeah. So, but they were great. Another cigar bar I went to there. The old fashioned cigar bar. They stayed open a little later for me.

Very nice people. It's great. Loved it. And the St. Louis show was amazing. That's great to hear, man. Yeah. Our buddy Will did well. Will O'Donnell Crush.

Also had another guy. Scott Bedgood out of Chattanooga. They both crushed. Will is good. He's so good at comedy now. Yeah. He's getting real. He's always been good, but he's, it's really hot comedy now.

That's great. Yeah. He's on fire. He's got some good coffee shop jokes that I'm into. I don't know if you're going to do them on. I don't know that I've heard those. Yeah. I allow people to be a little less clean on my show.

Okay. So they may hide some stuff from you. I mean, I'm not a dictator. Yeah. Thank God I'm not with Greg. I'm spread my wings a little. No. No, I don't mean it like that, but I do, I mean, you get a little looser.

Yeah, yeah. Greg's like, I don't want any coffee shop material in my shows. Yeah, Dustin. Well, let's less about the coffee shop. Dusty sits him down. Well, listen, we're here to have fun. This isn't a Greg show. Yeah.

This is, uh, you can do what you. Yeah, this is fun, okay? He ruins everything. I'm not going to wrestle you to the ground if you don't. I, uh, yeah, he's great, man. I'm glad you got it. That sounds awesome. Yeah, it was super fun.

Yeah, whoever wants to go. Okay. Maybe I should just start running this. Well, you could just go, you know. Okay. Well, I was... I don't wait for me. You now.

And now you, Brian. It was just a polite deference to... Yeah, it's called leading the show, Dusty. Just get in there. All right. Well, you do it, don't you? Yeah. We should all do that.

I just do whatever I want. I was... Saturday night, I was at the Grand Ole Opry and had a great, Great time. Great set. But I was walking off stage and, you know, the lights are very bright while you're on stage. But off to the side, it's dark over there where the rest of the artists hang out.

And I walk off stage and I see Connie Smith standing there looking right at me. I love Connie Smith. I love Connie Smith. Is an opera legend. She's 84 years old. She's been a member of the opera for 60 years. Wow. Wow.

Married to Marty Stewart. Oh, wow. They treat her like royalty there. Yeah. She's looking at me and she's smiling and she's right in my line of sight. And she appears to have her hand out like she wants to shake my hand. So I'm like, she likes what she sees. You know what I mean?

And I go over to her. But like I said, the lights, there was some adjusting going on there. It was hard to see what was going on. And I reached out my hand to shake her hand and realize she did not have her hand extended. She had her hand on the stanchion there. that's roped off. So I end up just putting my hand on Connie Smith's hand. Someone I've never met before.

Yeah. And just smiled at her. As if you were comforting her in a time of need. There's a lot that could happen there. She could think I was hitting on her. She might just be like, I think like, yeah, follow that, babe. Yeah. So I just patted her on the hand and then just kept on walking.

Well, you know, she's probably used to that. Connie Smith's 84, but, you know, back in the day, she's pretty hot. Yeah, Marty Stewart might be wanting to kick my butt now. Yeah. I bet he is. This isn't the first awkward thing that's happening coming off the stage at the opera. No, it's not. No, no.

One time the host who likes to shake your hand as you come off, I was told that one time you were walking off, they went to shake your hand, and you handed them the microphone. Well, you weren't told that, Dusty. We showed video on our podcast of me doing that. I was told that. She extends with her left hand to shake your hand,

and I got a little confused, and so I just handed her the mic. Like the Opry only has one mic that everyone shares. It's your turn now. I think it's like a big time move, really. They're going to shake your hand. You're going to take this. Just take this. Take care of this for me.

So I'm getting a reputation of the Opry. Yeah, man. You know, at least the lady's there. Connie Smith's like, I do not want him back. Or she's like, I'd like that young man. Yeah, you're a young man to her. I'd like him to be a member. I'm 30 years younger than she is.

She likes younger men. Marty Stewart's like late 60s. Okay. So, you know. And then last night, Sunday night, I was here at the lab running my special set. And it was a great time. You guys were here.

That's right. Good to see you, Dusty. Now, you were in St. Louis last night, right? No, I was just at home with my family. Oh, okay. Greg did a set. Greg, let me just see. say this. I was hosting and closing the show. And when I got ready to introduce Greg, he went

ahead and stepped out the door. And before I could even introduce, I see people like getting excited. Women screaming like it's the Beatles. And I'm like, what is going on? Yeah. It was crazy how excited they got when Greg before I could even introduce it. Real power move to just step into the room before your name is called, Greg. I mean, I didn't know it's like a talk show or something. You didn't know that you don't supposed to come out until they introduce you? I didn't. I mean, yeah, usually I stand in the back. I'm not familiar with the door system. I heard, I heard Greg, you have about 20 minutes on chairs.

It's getting there. And I like that. Yeah, I'm into that. Yeah, thanks. Great. Yeah. You were thinking about going sofas just to branch out a little bit or strictly chairs? I don't know, man.

I got into swings a little bit. And, yeah, I don't know. Sofas maybe. Okay. But then that's a whole different thing. That's the next special. Yeah, yeah. I don't know.

I'm working on it. I'm working on it. I love that. Yeah. I got some chair material. But that was a great set last night. Thank you. Yeah.

Thank you. It was fun. I mean, we're doing this right before your big. Yeah, tonight. It's why I'm in town. I'm taking my special. Yeah. It's why I'm in town and I'm excited about it.

And if you just do what you did last night, that's going to be a great special. It's going to be great. It's going to be great joke. I was like, maybe you should try some of your old jokes. I did not say. You did say that. I did say that. What about that auto zone joke?

I said, I said if I think that out ought to be in there. It's a great joke. Yeah. I think it's a really funny joke. But I said a lot of things nice to you too. I didn't say that. You did.

But I'm also tired of every comic say, hey, Mitch Headberg bombed and they just sweetened it. So don't worry. Like every comic that I'm having an ass for. And they're like, hey, Mitch Headberg, he, you know, he bombed. So don't worry about it. No, I just think it's the first, one of the first tape things you do. So it's like when if you're not going to bomb.

No, I know. It just, it just if things don't go exactly the way you want. Act like that you think you mind? Nah. I'd say don't put it out there like it can. Yeah. That's what's exciting about stand-up is it could always happen. It could.

Yeah. No, I think you're in great shape. Now, Greg was so nice and so supportive of me. Yeah, you're in great shape. I can't wait to watch. Thank you. What about you, Aaron? Where were you?

Well, wait, we skipped Greg. Well, I'm leaving. You're trying to lead. I'm sorry. You're right. You're right. I'm mad. I had a good weekend.

Thank you, Dusty. Minneapolis, Minnesota, at Sisyphist Brewing Company, four shows. Connor Larson was with me, part of the Nate Land family, I guess you could say. People might be familiar with him. He's funny. Guy named Joey Hamburger was the host.

Hamburger Jones? Joey Hamburger. His real name. Wow. Does he do the hamburger thing? He doesn't say hamburger like Hamburger Jones does. He can't do that. Hamburger.

I don't know if your last name is really Hamburger. I would think about doing it. He would just, I was obsessed with that clip for so long. Hamburger? Hamburger Jones on Def Jam. Yeah, man. Where he go? He just found like kind of an overweight girl in the crowd.

He goes, look at this big roundaway girl right here. Yeah. Look like you've been sitting on a bus stop sucking on pork chops. Hamburger. He's a kill. Joker who you're supposed to be? Didn't you edit a video together of him saying hamburger for an hour? No, I did a video of Shucky Ducky Ducky saying Shucky Ducky Ducky for an hour.

I did a video. Hamburger Jones on America's Got Talent that got a lot of V. Yeah, I remember that. I'm a fan. I'm a fan of both of them. I remember watching them. But I did ask my friend who sort of was booking comedy clubs back when those guys were doing a lot of going, you know, doing the club circuit. And I was like, who's got the edge?

The duck or hamburger? She goes, in a pet, probably the duck. She said they're both very good. Yeah. She said the duck maybe. Shugga, duck, quack, quack, quack. Hamburger Jones out of bed. He goes, look at this big Joker here.

Type of fool look at a YMCA said, they don't spell Macy's wrong. Yeah. That's the kind of jokes. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I love it. Hamburger. Hamburger. Who are you supposed to be?

Like, he went right in on the car. Happy Halloween, baby. Joker, I'm supposed to be a guy that just, I bought a ticket to your show. I'm trying to enjoy you. Yeah, he was, he hit him pretty hard right after bat, man. Well, what about you, Greg? Where were you at this weekend? I was in Little Rock.

Arkansas at the Looney Bin. All right. Having a blast. You getting lobotomized at the Looney bin? No, I didn't. I didn't. Is that a drink there? They have a shirt that says that. Oh, okay. I was lobotomized at the Little Rufflinie bin.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because it's like a crazy house. I don't think we see. Yeah, I got it, man. No, I know. Yeah. I mean, I felt like I was having strong sets, but nobody, I don't think anybody got lobotomized. Okay, good. Wasn't to that level.

That's good. You don't want to get to that level. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I think some guys, that's probably what they want. Yeah. You know, it's like, man, I just was out of, lost my mind. Most people kind of had all their faculties when they left my show. Yeah.

Yeah, so I don't know if it was, uh, yeah. Do you have Sean or Tim with you? Uh, no, both of them couldn't go. I had my, uh, their careers are taking off. Yeah, I know. I know. Um, it's a point of contention. Yeah.

Uh, Sean had it real dumb. excuse for not going. Tim's got two small kids, so it's better. But my buddy Ryan Beck, my old roommate from New York City, came and did the shows and did a fantastic job. Good deal, man.

Yeah, it was fun. Had some, well, we're not allowed to talk about it yet, but I'll get to it when we get to the topic. All right, let's do it. Can I share some Nateland news? Yeah, yeah. Go ahead, Brian. Thank you. Nate Land presents the showcase Season four rolls on.

Last week, John Heffron. Are you familiar with John Hefron? Friend of mine, man. Yeah. Killer. He is great. And his set was great. This Thursday, we reveal a new comic every week.

This Thursday, 7 p.m. Jody Carroll. Now, I believe Aaron and I met Jody at the same time. We were both in Tacoma a couple years ago. And Aaron came and did sets. And Jody was on the show. And she's great. I don't know, Jody.

She's done a few shows with me. since then. She's out of Tacoma. She's a relatively newer comic, but very funny. Yeah, looking forward. It gets a lot of work from up there. Yeah. Yeah. So that'll be on the Nateland YouTube channel. We have a new comic every week. Derek Strupe's Netflix special, nostalgic is out now. It's great. Yeah. Man, it's good. It is. Yeah. So go check that out. And Dusty's book, we're having a good time is on pre-order. Grab a copy anywhere you buy your books. November 10th is when. it's on bookshelves. And that's just a book cover though,

so that's not the real book. Oh, really? I got to... So don't start reading that thing. I got to get one of these. And my friend Liz is that she's the biggest dusty fan of the world. All right. I have you sign one for her.

Yeah, absolutely. Really, she'd like that a lot. And you remember Nate? Remember the last time you were here? There was a guy? Another one, Nate? Yeah. Production guy?

No, no, no, no. He was... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a different Nate. Nate Bargatsy. Yeah, yeah. He's got a tour called The Big Dumb Eyes. And this weekend, he's going to be in Washington, D.C., Worcester, Massachusetts.

Worcester, right? Worcester, yeah. Wash your sister, whatever. Is it the sauce? I'm not trying to be. Is it the same word as the sauce? I mean, that's how the sauce is pronounced, right? I think he got it right.

Massachusetts. I'm leading the podcast. I'm going to go ahead. You know, to be honest. Does he made a ruling? Yeah. Okay. No, no, go ahead.

No, I mean, if it's New England, it's Worcester. Worcester. Yeah. I'm going to be on those shows. And April 4th, Boston, Massachusetts. I saw the lineup for those shows. That is an incredible lineup. Oh, man.

Who is it? Let Dusty be the judge. He's the ruler of this episode. Oh, yeah. Tell us who it is. What's the lineup? It is, of course, Julian's hosting, as always. Okay.

Mike Vecione, Greg Warren, and Ryan Hamilton. Yeah. Yeah, it's okay. Yeah, it's fine. I mean, you're good. Yeah. Those guys are all close. Yeah, those guys are monsters.

Yeah. Worcester. Worcester. Okay. Worcester. Gotcha. And I think it's Washington, D.C. I like how you said Massachusetts.

How'd you say it? I just feel like you just kind of came out at the end and you just kind of said it. Massachusetts? I don't know. Should we get in these comments? Yeah. Let's do it. Let's get into it.

Who wants to read them? Well, I guess I'm reading them. If you want to. Well, usually I thought we, whoever led did not read, but. I'm leading it today, so I'm litigical. Fair point. Fair point. Fist, man.

Sometimes when other people are leading it, they leave it up to other people. You're right. But I don't like people just jumping in at any time. I like to call one. It's a fair point. It's more, if you don't mind me saying, the public figures is more of an authoritarian. system than made. Iron fist. Yeah. For sure. It just changes

who's the authoritarian every episode. Yeah. That's how we get fair about it. You know, we trade it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I, you know, honestly, I don't care though because I don't think I can read very good today. But comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple

podcast reviews, and mail at natelandpodcast.com. And I'll say people have stopped Venmoing me for comments, which I appreciate. now people are Venmo requesting me money, which is equally annoying. So please stop doing that. You have to pay them for them to... They're requesting $20 from me and then leaving a comment,

which is a great way to get me to read it. I have read all of them, but they will not make the podcast. I can promise you that. So please stop doing that. Great. Do we have a laptop? We don't. No, not today, man.

We're going to have to do it old school, dude. Sent you some links, too. I know. It's just two, though. All right. Greg, you remember the old show Highway to Heaven? Michael Landon? Michael Landon.

You remember his sidekick? The car? Was it Merlin Olson? That's a good guess. Merlin Olson was on Little House of the Prairie with him. But it was Mr. Edwards, who also was on Little House of the Prairie. He was on Highway to Heaven. I don't remember that.

All right. Well, anyway, he always wore Oakland A's hat. Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Man, I wish I had my laptop with me. That's really good. Look at that show that to the camera there. Yeah.

Yeah. That's a great hat. I feel okay wearing an Oakland A's hat as a Braves fan. It's a bit like wearing a Ghana hat during the Olympics. You don't think they're going to win anything. No. But I like support what they're too. I like because, I mean, there's some teams that I really admire the look of their uniform. I like their uniforms a lot.

I can't wear anything. But a Cardinals hat, I feel like. You're saying you can? I get that. Yeah, they're not a threat. They're American League. They're basically, they're being moved. Like, in my head, this is an Oakland A's hat.

It doesn't even exist anymore. It's an old retired team. Yeah. Moneyball. All right, let's get into these comments. Leon Mozart. You see how he spelled that? Yeah.

Mozart. You know it's going to be a good episode when you're eight minutes in and Aaron is already conducting a study about how people open their straws. Keep up the good work. gentlemen. Appreciate that Mozart, man. Yeah. When you get a compliment

from Mozart, that feels good. Leon Mozart feels like a long lost cousin. They got shipped off to America. Yeah. Yeah. Karen Z. Love this episode.

I'm a huge Western fan. Thank you, Karen. My favorites are Once Upon a Time in the West. Great one. The Magnificent Seven. Not watched it yet. Shane, not watched it yet.

Rio Bravo. High noon, El Dorado, and True Grypt. And I think my favorite Western director is John Ford. And oh, you're right, Dusty, who shot Liberty Valance is a great one too. It's really one of the best. Have you guys watched any of these Westerns since that episode? Most of the comments this week were complaining about stuff that you left out. Well, that's what, I mean, Western is such a huge genre.

I mean, there's so many movies. If I was just going to name them all, that's what the whole episode would have been, me just naming movies that you can. guys haven't seen. And that's not all that entertaining. No. I thought of a few more I've seen Quick in the Dead. That's a good one. I have seen, I have seen, anything Gene Hackman's. Or I have seen a Magnificate 7. I've not seen it. There's two. There's an old one and then a new one. I've seen the new one. What about holes? You'll see holes? I have seen holes. It's a Western movie. I don't really think it's a Western, but it is good. I thought that was a horror movie.

No, oh no, not horror at all. It's a coming of age story. Really? But it's kind of split between modern time and then they flash back to the Wild West, and there's a bank robber, kissing Kate Barlow. Really? Oh, yeah. Wonderful film. Wonderful book. Louis Sackar.

Shout out. I'll check that out. Is Outlaw Josie Wales a Western? For sure. Okay. That's a good one. Yeah, that's about Missouri. Yeah.

Clint Eastwood's the best. What was the one with Ed Harris and Vingo Mortensen where they come in is the Marshals? Oh, I just bought that one. I'm going to watch it. It's good. I forget what it's called. I bought so many last week. Yeah.

Actually, everybody's recommendations of the movies I missed, I went and bought. That's awesome. Yeah. Brian Best, this podcast is one of the highlights of my week, and Dusty and I agree on most things, but I'm a little disappointed that I don't remember Lonesome Dove even getting a mention in the episode about Westerns. He mentioned how much he loved Robert DeVall, but somehow completely glossed over Robert DeVall's favorite character that he ever played, Augustus. McCrae. And you're right. That was a big miss to not even mention it. But the reason is it's so long, I only watched it as a kid and I want to go back and rewatch it. It's a miniseries, right?

Yeah, it's like incredibly long. Yeah. So that was the era of the mini series, right? The the Thornbirds, I think, was a big one back then. Roots was a big mini series. Yeah. He said that was his favorite character? I guess. I, you know, I'd not spend a lot of time with Robert DeVall, but I like the Days of Thunder guy, man. Robert DeVal was great. I like the Days of Thunder guy, too. I don't think the Day, the Days of Thunder movie felt like they were writing it

as they were going along, but his character was really good. Oh, cool. Yeah. Get out of that race car. Oh, Cole. Get out of that race car. That's good, Greg. Yeah, that is

very good. Amazing performance. You should be the next Robert DeVau. Man, I'd do it. Yeah. Yeah. For Days of Thunder, too. Yeah. It's so funny, that's a celebrity's work.

When a celebrity died, just somebody else became them. Yeah. Just got all their work, everything. Yeah. That would be nice. Yeah. All based on that audition. Well, his first role was Boo Radley.

It was? Kill a Mockingbird. Yeah, he was adult then, non-speaking. So kind of similar to you on the greatest average American. They used to come. So you're on the right path. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're saying that's.

That's not, this isn't speaking. From the Nashville municipal auditorium. That's not speaking. You're right, you're right. Huh? My mistake. That's, uh, come on. I, uh, that's a cheap shot, man.

Yeah. Okay. Here we go. My neighbor's called me boo Radley. They really? Because I didn't get a lot of sun. I've never been able to get son. Yeah.

And I was a very white, uh, adolescent. And, uh, yeah, John McGuire called me Boo Radley. And he never went outside. That's where that came from. What was Bo Radley's deal? What was going on with him? Was he doing something in a tree or something?

He's putting some... Didn't he end up being a nice guy there? Yeah. Saved Scout. I don't want to ruin it. Did he shoot the rabid dog or something? Did he kill a rabid dog? He saved Scout somehow. Okay.

Yeah. Maybe it was... I don't even know who Scout is. He had nothing to do with Adi. He had nothing to do with the trial. Nothing to do with Atticus Fids. He was just a guy. It was like the mean old lady or whatever.

Everybody's like, oh, they live in that house and they must be, they're weird, so they're scary. Yeah. He was just, I think, he might have had some health issues. Yeah. And then something happened and he ran out, which was probably a big deal for an agoraphobic or whatever. He ran outside and saved Scout. Scout's the main character, a young girl. Okay. Yeah.

It's been a long time. Scout Finch. Atticus's daughter. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Matthew Hawkins, good grief. The fact that this. wasn't primarily about John Wayne is a problem. I said, I talked about John Wayne. I said, Clint Eastwood's my favorite Western guy. But, I mean, this guy has a problem with it. Here in West Texas, John Wayne movies are a rite of passage.

The Searchers, the Cowboys, El Dorado, I mean, Dusty claims to be a big Western guy. But you all mainly talked about modern movies. You all need to do a deep dive on John Wayne to truly understand the Western genre. I don't think that's true, but I did talk about a lot of modern movies because I was trying to get Brian and Aaron involved in the conversation. But I don't think Clint Eastwood's movies are not modern movies. I don't think the, and the man who shot Liberty Valance is a John Wayne film. Right. So I don't get the problem.

What's the one where he was over in Ireland? John Wayne. I think it was with Moraine O'Hara. Lucky of the Irish, wasn't it? No. John Wayne has so many movies. Yeah. but I got some.

That's all. They were all on Sunday morning or Sunday afternoon. Yes. That's yeah. Yeah. I've watched a lot. But, you know, quiet man.

Oh, yeah. The quiet man. Okay. I also, I burned DVDs to my computer and then I watch them on the airplane. That way I can, you know, do whatever I want and not have to rely on Wi-Fi. And the searchers, when I downloaded it, somehow it downloaded also the commentary with it. So I wasn't. able to watch that yet. So that's coming though. So I'm, I'm very sorry, Matthew Hawkins.

It's like the movie's starting and the guy goes, all right, I'm going to be doing a little commentary on this movie while we watch. You remember DVDs when they, they'd have an extra section? I never did it. Yeah. I never did it either. I don't like it. You know, I don't need somebody filling in the gaps for me. So they're just explaining like, when we shot this, we were, or or was it like, don't go in there. Yeah. The only one I ever did Ford that I remember is comedian, the Jerry Seinfeld documentary. Oh, they had that? Yeah, he sits down and with a buddy and talks about it as they watch it. That's cool. I would listen to the. The scribes people's jackets as leaf raking jackets at times. Very in touch. What did he say about Orney? Did he? I remember

there's a scene where Orney is going through cabinets of jokes that he'd say like following him. And I remember Jerry says something like, yeah, he thinks he needs all those jokes or something like that. He was just mean to him on the commentary? That's the only thing I remember. Yeah, but I mean, he could have been way meaner. I mean, they kind of, they must have told Orney like dial it up a little bit. Yeah. I don't know.

Yeah. Hope so. It worked for him. I guess. Yeah. I remember watching that early on as a comic and thinking, man, I don't want to have to do all that that that Orney's doing. Yeah.

He's funny, though. Is that what you got to do to be a new comic? You got to do it that hard? I remember thinking that. that. Like, he just seemed to be... I've done shows with warning. Me too. Very nice guy. Yeah. Yeah, he's real nice. He's real funny.

The only thing about comedian, I remember, because it was like, I had been doing some pretty hard road gigs at the time. And they, like, Seinfeld had, you know, he was working on his new material or whatever, and he had maybe a less than desirable set, you know, for Seinfeld. Yeah. And they showed him, like, they were playing, like, sad music as he was getting back on his plain. Yeah. I'll show you. I'll show you sad music, Jerry.

Yeah, it's so hard to get comfortable. That's what he comes to. Yeah, you want to see uncomfortable? Uh, uh, uh, uh. A new season is always a great time to reset, level up, take better to care of yourself. And that includes your hair. If you're dealing with thinning, shedding, or just wanting fuller, healthier hair, the I Restore Elite is one of the easier routine upgrades that you can make.

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I Restore is offering big savings right now. And with code Nateland at irrestore.com, you'll get an exclusive discount on the I Restore Elite. That's code Nateland at irrestore.com. Please support our show. Tell them we sent you. Give your hair the upgrade it's been waiting for. I was just going to say, you know, it's like, yeah, this weekend I did the Little Rock Looney Ben. Yeah

Yeah You talk about how comfortable Yeah I've been No I've had some good times there But it is You know if you If you're

And you are selling tickets Yeah But if you're not selling tickets At the Little Rock Looney Ben It is a wild It's a real wild Crazy But it's

It's it's I used to go When I thought I'm like man I might have a CD in me Special Yeah

You know And I'd be Let's go down here And find out Yeah Whether this is any good If you're selling Tickets

all clubs are... Yeah, exactly. Like, it doesn't... It's just a venue. Right, right. Yeah. It's... Yeah, it's spaghetti in Sykston or whatever.

It's, you know, it's... I used to say that about the Greensboro Comedy Zone. I used to talk about how bad of a club it was. And then I went after I was selling tickets. And I go, oh, it's incredible. It's amazing. At a great time. Yeah, you're right.

When you're selling tickets... Yeah, yeah. I also had the advantage of, like, opening for Nate and Leanne in Little Rock, both of them. Yeah. Leading up to this thing. So it was, you know, thanks to them. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, a train's coming. All right, here we go. It's called Brian Bates Special. That's right. I hear it. Augie. Freight train.

Mike. How would you say that? Mike. Meek. That's a tricky one. Back in the 90s, my brother and I were sitting at a car having lunch. between paintball matches at a facility in Southern California. It's a lot going on in that sense.

Yeah, there is. There was a woman sitting next to us that we didn't recognize waiting for her husband who was playing. We recognized him. It was Tom Hanks. We got to talking and he said he was preparing for an upcoming movie. The following summer, Saving Private Ryan came out. By the end of the day, he had shot me and my brother. had shot him.

Whoa. A lot going on here. One, he didn't recognize Rita Wilson. Yeah. I guess not. Yeah. Did some good work in a couple of those movies. What do you think of Tom Hanks?

I enjoy a lot of his movies. I never played paintball with him. You never shot Tom Hanks? Never shot Tom Hanks. Never been in the same zip code, probably. But I think he's great. Yeah. I mean, I don't know.

Be hard to, I mean, you know, Splash. was a formative movie. You and I had a very similar childhood. Yeah. Splash was amazing. Yeah. What's going on in Splash that you really liked? Darrell Hanna was a mermaid.

And John Candy played Tom Hanks' sort of Nared Well Brother. And John Candy, when I was 14 years old, could say anything. And it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard. Yeah. It makes me sad that he didn't get to make more movies. Yeah. But we talk about Tom Hanks sometimes. And I get, you know, I just feel like Tom Hanks plays all these like prominent, like hero people.

And I'm just like, what's going on? Buz and buddies. Yeah, yeah. Well, he's, you know, he's landing a plane. He's doing the Hudson River. He's getting taken over by Somali pirates. Oh, yeah, man. He's Mr. Rogers.

He's now going to be Abe Lincoln. He's an astronaut. He's, you know, he's like all. He's like everybody. Walt Disney. He's everybody that he met in the movie Forrest Gump. He's fair Bryant. Richard Nixon.

That's great. You think that's how he comes up with these. I think so. It's a reverse force gun. Yeah. That's a great point, man. That might be how he's getting this stuff. Yeah, I think so.

Yeah. I think so. I'm trying to think of who else he met in that. I mean, John Lennon. Yeah. Elvis. Did you meet Elvis? Yeah.

He met Elvis. Elvis stayed at their hotel. Yeah. The boarding house. Yeah. Whatever. Right. Now, I think one of the few characters he's ever played that wasn't a good guy was Elvis's manager.

Oh, Colonel Tom Parker. Yeah, in that last. I didn't see the movie, but I remember people saying that. Okay. Yeah. I didn't think he was such a great guy in Joe versus the volcano. But it was a different take that most people don't see him. All right.

Oh, big commenter here. Princess Summerlee. Oh, yeah, man. I'm familiar with Princess. Yeah. See her online quite a bit. Let's see if it's a nice comment. Okay.

I think she usually leaves nice stuff. Okay. Yeah. Going from being told we love you to your boring isn't as funny as you think. Man, there's something there. I feel like that's the one insulting. Well, I feel bad about this, Princess. Oh, yeah.

Oh, I see what. Okay. Yeah, I called them boars. The fans. You're taking shots at Princess Summerland? I've never seen anything but nice things for us. Always nice. And Nate would always say, we love you.

I guess I would say Princess, I didn't mean it, and neither did Nate. Wow. Most of us were joking. She's a big commenter, and I didn't know what that was referring to, and I was like, oh, that's the only time I seen her with some angst. I said, hey, boars. instead of hay bear yeah yeah but you said boar's B O R E or boars as in like a wild boar B O R E yeah like I think he meant the South African farmers

that's how they're referred to oh really yeah I didn't know that it's true why wouldn't you do it the the wild pig we could do that too yeah I'm just making it it was said out loud he didn't spell it in the moment so it could be both yeah yeah yeah it'll double on ton but I'm gonna stop it now because of princes. I'm sorry, princess. Yeah. You should apologize to her.

And we do love you. We do, right? Are we? That sounded weird. We love everybody. God save the queen. Yeah. Tom Hammond.

I like that Brian puts us Normies in our place. Thank you, Tom. I get a real cocky, I get real cocky throughout the week, and I appreciate him humbling me. Tom gets it. Tom Hammond, former Notre Dame, uh, play by play. Sure. Yeah, I don't think that's him, but is it? I think it is. Well, there was an announcer Tom Hammond. I think that's him.

Well, maybe. Yeah. Why would you guys not think it's him? I feel like you would have included that in the comment. Yeah, okay. That guy probably was getting cocky, though, so yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Robin Gillum, Aaron and Brian imitating Dusty's intro is getting played out.

Get your own. All right. Guys, be original. I mean, I didn't include this, but... Jeez. I'm glad it was included. Jeez. Is ours? No, that's mine, too.

I got all the catchphrases. That's because you trademark normal stuff. Well, that's not my fault. I'm the high how you do in comic. And you're like, well, what else am I supposed to say? But can... If I'm having a good time, how do I articulate that? You don't.

But you're not... But can you be the high how you do in comic? Like, that's the thing. Oh, I've been that for years. Can you do a phrase that everybody else does and make it your own? Boy, I tell you. I like that. I'm a boy, I tell you, guy.

I'll buy shares in that right now. I'll buy shares in that. Boy, I tell you. You could do that area. I'll tell you what. Yeah. Boy, I tell you. Don't get the what in there.

Yeah, it sounds like you're putting a little too much mustard on it. Okay. Yeah, you just, yeah, just you do it. You do about five minutes, okay? and then you go, boy, I'll tell you. Take a beat. Yep, take a beat. Hold for applause.

The first time, don't, you know, don't hold for a call. It's going to take a little while for the legend to spread. People think it's easy to take common phrases and make it your own. Boy, I'll tell you. Yeah. This is a gold mine. I'm going to capture the whole English language before it's time. The only problem, yeah, they're going to be saying it, though, man.

It's like hamburger. Boy, I tell you. They're just going to be crazy going to say it. Aaron, boy, I tell you, Weber. Yeah, yeah. You're at the airport. People see you and they go, boy, I tell you. Yeah.

You got to be careful. This is goal. Yeah, man. I mean, the only thing is you got to figure out how long to lay on the boy. Boy, I'll tell you. If you see Aaron at the airport, greet him in that way. Yeah. Because all right, he doesn't, it's perfect.

All right, it's one. Yeah, it's perfect. You know, but he doesn't stay on it too long. You also have okay. Okay, yeah, I've taken okay. Now, I tell you. Okay and all right. How can I be affirmative without copying you?

I'll get them all. I'll get them all. Thanks for coming. I agree. Don't even try to wave on stage either. Dude, I can't wave. I can't put my hand behind my back. I can't use a sweat towel according to Greg.

I'm in a box up there, man. I got nothing. I got nothing. You do now, though. Boy, I tell you. I got to sit down on the ground with my back to the audience. That's the only thing I have left. Has anybody told him that hand behind the back?

That's a military thing? No. I always forget to tell him that. I don't think it's rooted in military. But I'm saying, no, with him it's not. But when people open for me, I let them use a towel if they want. I'm just saying, that's fine, man. I know if you're, I don't like you're real loose with these openers.

I'm like these guys, it's sloppy, man. Will O'Donnell just up there at the sweat towel. I'm going to tell you right now. I mean, I love Will. He's funny, but he's building some bad habits with Dougie. It's, yeah, it's, it's a bad. It comes back as whole sets about weeaties guys. Come on, man.

Keep it between the lines. It's in a dusty show. I had a sweat towel all weekend, man. I just like to have it there if I need it. He was in many apples. I do need it quite a bit. You don't. You're a young guy.

It's hot under the lights. It's not that hot. It's hot under the lights, man. You don't need it. You're too young, man. young, man. You're a young man. Yeah. You should be sweating that hard. Now, I will do that. I will say this, man.

I'm going to go ahead and say this because I've, oh, on record on this program, I've always come out against the towel. Okay. But if you give it a, boy. I mean, come on. Yeah. Come on. Every time you use a towel, you're saying. You got, you cannot. You can't go to the well two times a show on the top. These kids are crazy. You're putting too much on it.

Just take and you go to that towel only twice a show. Okay. That, yeah, and then, and then, that's how you end the special. If I get two dabs a show, it's got to be a real problem before I get it. And you're the new Jerry Clower after me. Boy, I tell you, good night. We got something here. No, no, no, no, no.

Dusty's got good night. He's, he's, he's, okay. I'd say good night to me. You can't say good night. Man, it's just, it's a minefield That this guy is. Man, I tell, yeah, I'm investing. Boy, I tell you.

We're going to sign the paperwork. Get some shirts. Getting shirts made. I'm doing that. Shards, shirts, magnets. Your towels, for sure. Tows. Yeah.

And they're making it right now. Yeah. Action figures. Yeah, you know. He's got towels. Beek, heik. Pull a string over the back. Boy, I tell you.

Boy, I tell you. Boy, I tell you. Yeah, man. This is a gold mine. Yeah. Thank you, Dusty. Yeah, no problem. I mean, if you guys...

Thank you, Robin Gill. If any of you guys need catchphrases, you know, come to me. Yeah. Man, I've been working on them forever. Yeah. I think you missed an opportunity by not calling a special peanut butter boy. I know Nate shot it down. Yeah.

Nate shot it right now. Yeah. Nate made shit right now. Yeah, Nate, Nate, yeah, put it into that real quick. Yeah, peanut butter boy. That's... Peanut Butterboy was no... Yeah.

Sounds a good one. Nate weighed in twice on that special and that was one thing that came out. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, here we go. Matt Richardson. I almost wrecked when Beaver Nugget said... That's Brian.

I know, Matt. Well, it's a new podcast. You've not been a part of this one. I'll act like I'm just some guy. Okay. When he said, I love Cowboy Take Me Away by the Dixie Chicks. And Dusty quickly replied, that adds up.

That is true. Thanks for letting us into your friendship in such a way that we know you well enough to know how true and hilarious that tiny comment really is. Keep it up. It's a great song, though. It is. Cowboy, take me away. You know the song? Yeah, I do know it.

I don't think I know it. It's a big song, but a big band. I mean, I know the band. I don't know music that well, though. Who's the band? The chicks. The chicks. It's testing.

Yeah. Past. Well, Aaron said it first. All right, go ahead, Dustin. I like how they went from something they thought was offensive to something that's, like, like, sexist, don't we? Yeah, we're the chicks. They're not the broads. There's a couple of chicks.

Aaron Ferris, I predict that. in a few episodes, Brian will walk off mid-podcast, and honestly, I'm here for it. Brian is extremely funny in his own right. However, you can't be a comedian and have thin skin. Yeah, you big baby. Yeah. I like how the first sentence he seems to be in support of you. And then he follows up with a, oh, yeah, but he can't handle it. You can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. That sounds a lot like guys that come up to me after my show and have some, You know, Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I like if you do one, I could do, you know, you could do an hour and a half. You do one old joke and then people go, well, I've seen a lot of that stuff. Yeah. It was all old stuff. Yeah. One old.

Yeah. I just said we're having a good time. Uh. Uh. Yeah. Boy, I tell you. Yeah. Yeah.

You get it. Joseph, I'm glad someone else says biopic instead of biopic. Thanks, breakfast. It is, is it? Which is it? I said biopic. That's what I always thought. But biopic makes more sense, I guess.

I guess. Yeah, because it's a biographical picture, right? Yeah. Yeah. But. I've always heard biopic. Hmm. But I have no idea.

That's just what I've heard. I never tried to break it. Oh, biopic. Biopic. But that's kind of like... No, that's not what I said. Yeah, you did. Biopic.

Both pronunciations are used, but biopic, emphasis on bio, is generally considered correct by dictionaries because the word is a combination of biographical and picture. So we're wrong. Though many people pronounce it biopic, like the word myopic. What about the movie Biodome? Would that be byodome? Biodome. Yeah, biotum.

Yeah, biotum. Amazing show. One of the bald ones was in that, right? Yeah. Was that Paul Lee Shore? Yeah. Yeah, it was a bald one in there. A lot of, he had a lot of piercings on his face.

Yeah. Stephen, I believe. Yeah. All right. Last comment comes to us from Camp Girl. The consumers want a trivia game, them versus public figures. While regular trivia was suggested, I'm proposing a conspiracy-style twist to make it more engaging and educational. They should be based on Dusty's theories with him as host and final judge.

Doesn't seem fair. What's the twist? The correct answer is whatever Dusty says? Yeah. Yeah. If it's a conspiracy theory based on Dusty's theories. That's certainly a twist. I like him.

Camp girl gets it. And they're not Dusty's theories. They're just the truth, right, Dusty? Yeah, I mean, I guess you know, you could... You're just bringing it to our attention. I guess you could argue with me and say, you know, I don't believe everything that he says. That's what people say to me a lot. They go, I don't always agree with Dusty.

And they're dead to you if they don't agree with everything. Yeah, I mean, get on board. I go, just give it time. You don't agree now. At this moment, I haven't seen the light. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. At this moment, my vision is clouded. Yeah. Do you ever leave your doctor's office and feel like you got nothing from it? Every time. Usually they just tell me to drink more water. No real answers or game plan. This is the reason I love superpower.

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heard about them. So make sure you mention our podcasts so you can support our show. Okay, Brian, we got, uh, we got a, uh, well, take us away with the topic. Okay. I was debating what to do this week and I knew you were coming as a guest and I saw a video of you talking about barbecue. Yeah. And I looked, you've got a few jokes about barbecue out there. Yeah. And I know you're a big barbecue connoisseur, but I'm like, let's broaden it out a little bit and just talk about meats in general. Okay. I, uh, you know, a fan, Aaron?

I mean, Aaron loves me. I think we could have got filled it with just barbecue. Okay. Well, well, we want to get all kind of meat. Okay. We don't, you know, because I don't even, you know, I don't eat pork. So I want to, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I want to get, you know, there's a, you know, that's not, pork's not the only thing in barbecue.

Well, I do get a brisket here and there. That's what I want to talk about is briscus. Yeah, I would go, I would just did brisket. And I get, uh, I like to get some barbecut's not, uh, I like to get some barbecue chicken. Yeah. I like that. I went to, you know, I went to a barbecue place one time, and I asked the guy,

then my server, I go, you got, you got barbecue chicken here? And he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, I never heard of that. And I go, are you serious? And then the next table behind me ask him for barbecue chicken. And the guy goes, why is everybody asking about barbecue chicken today? And I knew that guy worked there a long time. So you're telling me you've never heard of barbecue chicken. And then the very next table asked you about barbecue chicken.

So the first time you've ever heard it, you heard it twice. What state are we talking? This is Tennessee. Okay. This is in McMinnville. It's a great place. I like the place. I wonder what the disconnect was.

I don't know. I don't either. He never heard of it. Because there's some, like in Carolina, I think they would tell you the only barbecue that exists is pork. Yeah. They don't divine anything else's. Even if you've never heard of that, you know what both words mean.

It's not like you have no idea what they're talking about. You know? So you're saying, now I know what a chicken is. And I have a barbecue restaurant. Hold up now. That just doesn't add up. That couldn't be.

No. Boy, that's it. Well, you, you got it. We'll start a barbecue. Then you hit up barbecue restaurants whenever you're on the road. Every town, yeah. I mean, I had sort of a highlight down there in Little Rock.

Yeah. Yeah. It's going to sound like I'm bragging a little bit. Okay. But I went to this place called Wright's Barbecue. Now, I first heard of them in Fayetteville. They got fantastic place. So I saw they had one of Little Rock.

I took Ryan, we went to Wrights, and I was in line, and the dude in the back goes, you playing in town? I go, yeah, yeah, man. He did him like 50% off or something, man. I think it's because I've had a couple of these barbecue jokes. Yeah. Take it off. Hit the internet a little.

It gets passed around the end. history of it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then when you left, he goes, I thought Robert Deval died. The new Robert Deval. Ooh, cold.

Well. Get out of that race gone. Ooh, cold. Robert Deval was from, like, San Diego or something. That's where he was born. But didn't he always, didn't he feel like a southern? Yeah. Yeah. Just the way he talked, and not even the accent.

I think Southern California is like that, though. L.A.? That's... Well, I would think somewhere like Bakersfield or something. Yeah, is that not Southern? That's more, no, Central Valley. Yeah. Yeah.

But, yeah, San Diego seems more surferish to me. Yeah, I guess so, yeah. All right, so let's talk about some different styles of barbecue. Okay. I got a few different places here, Texas. Yeah, man, I mean, you know, I'll just come right out and say, And I, and I would, we can get into all the different regions. We can delete this if we, if you get out of hand.

No, I'm going to say it, though. I mean, and Texas, I, I think brisket is how you measure a barbecue place. Uh-huh. And I think it. I agree with that. Yeah, I think, how's a brisket? And. Why is that?

Well, because it's probably harder. I think it's harder to get a good brisket. Yeah. So how good. Okay. Okay. It's just, and I think it's the best thing in a barbecue place. Like, sausage is great.

But you're not going to. mess up sausage. Yeah. I mean, there are degrees of good. Okay. Okay. You know,

but I think brisket, that's how I measure. But couldn't you say the worst thing is what you should measure because if they can make that good, anything's going to be good. But no, but brisket,

you can, it can be very bad. Okay. They can dry it out so easily. Okay. Or it's tough. Hairy kind of. Or just all fat.

See, I like a fat. I like a little bit, but it can be all fat. But I will tell you this, Texas is not going to miss on the brisket. And I've been to all the cities and they, they salt lick. You've been there, salt lick?

Salt lick. Yeah, that's Austin-ish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that brisket's really good. They got the burnt ends that are really good. Burntons is a Kansas City thing, man. That's their thing. They did it well there, though.

Yeah, and Kansas City, now, I mean, that's a great barbecue town, a great one. And it's neck and neck with Texas. But I would say there's a place called Joe's in Kansas City. And, man, they do it right. The ribs there are unbelievable. Joe's is like everything there is good. You know? Mm-hmm.

So what's the difference in style between Texas and Kansas City? Well, Kansas City, um, Kansas City burnt ends is their thing. Okay. Okay, like that's their thing. So it's a question of what the focus is.

Yeah. I think, you know, now there's, I'm going to be wrong. Sauses differ, I'm sure. Yeah.

I, I think Texas has a. Let me read this and you tell me if you think this is right. Okay. Texas, beef focused featuring slow-smoked-smoke brisket ribs and sausage cooked over oak or pecan wood, known for minimal sauce and dry rubs. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I like about it. I don't like a man to be honest with you guys, and I'm going to say it.

And I had some last night and I like Nashville barbecue. But if you don't tell them, they're going to sauce it up. Yeah, I like a dry rub. Let me try the meat without the sauce. I might dip it in there a little bit, but let me try it without the sauce. Figuring they're hiding something, don't you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You messed up that meat.

I'm for not putting sauce on anything. Let me do it myself. I'm with you, man. Yeah. Let me do it myself. When I worked at Procter & Gamble, sorry, this is important. No, no. I want to hear it. I don't like sauce on really anything. Yeah.

And we would go through the cafeteria when I worked in the big office, the corporate headquarters. We'd go through and, you know, and then, this one cafeteria lady, she knew me so well. I remember one time I was going through, and this is when I knew I was a fixture at the company. As I was walking, there was a new lady. And she started putting my food on it, and she goes, he don't like the sauce.

Oh, man, that's awesome. That's a good feeling. Oh, that's awesome. She goes, he don't like the sauce. And then I was like, yeah, I'm somebody here. Yeah, and if you let them put sauce on there, they go wild with it. I go, just a touch.

I just want to, I like a little flavor. There's a place in Nashville that does, and it's a very good place. But they will, they will. Martin's. I had Martins last night. I think it's Edley's. Edley's will sauce up that. They'll sauce up that brisket.

And the brisket's very good. I went to Martin's last night and I went late. It was after a Brian's show. And they were like, hey, we're out of a lot of stuff. Just, you know, dude, we're out of all kinds of stuff. This boy was ribs? Yeah, that's, yeah. Three o'clock in the afternoon.

Yeah, yeah. That's my, that's one of my theories about barbecue is like, they're the one. one place where, like, it's just fine for you to not have the stuff that you said you were going to have. Yeah. But Martins, they're like, we're out all kinds of stuff. They go, we got wings and we got bologna. And I go, all right, man, give me some wings and bologna.

And I have never had barbecued bologna. Yeah, I wasn't. And it was outstanding. Yeah, I believe it. The bologna at Martins is, I'm telling you, man. And it's, I mean, it's massive. Oh, yeah. You kidding.

It's like this thick. It's so good. It is unbelievably good. I didn't even, I had like one wing. I just went all in on the baloney. Yeah, you fell up on baloney. Not a lot of room for wings. Yeah.

Yeah. I was like, man, I'm like, you know, I'm not going to get you brisk it. Man, I'm glad that happened. Sometimes, you know. Yeah. You would have never known about the baloney. Bologna's would be, it's the last choice for everybody, which is why they still have some. Now, there's a place in, in St. Louis.

Would you go to an all baloney place? Now maybe. Okay. Yeah. It would be tough for that place to stay open. All baloney. Just all baloney? Yeah.

It's what it's called. Yeah. Yeah, man. This place is baloney. Yeah, it's narrowly, narrowly focused. Yeah. Yeah, be like, what would a comedian's version be of the guy that's all a narrow focus comic, you know? Boy, I tell you.

He doesn't do the jokes. He's just catchphrase. Just catchphrase show. You'd be like a guy that just did sound effects on stage. Michael Lindel? No. He had material. Yeah.

He had material around. All right. All right. What about the place in St. Louis? Oh, they got salami. Oh. Yeah. Now, you took me to a place in St. Louis.

That's where I took you. Okay. It was great, man. Yeah. Yeah, it was great. Will O'Donnell took me a place when I was there. I think he took you to a terrible place. It was like on a cobblestone street.

It was like an old... Yeah, I know exactly where it took you, man. We sat like outside on a... What a dummy. I was so mad at him for doing that. I let Will do what he wants to do. I know, man. That's the thing.

That's his fault, man. You let this guys run wild. He's going to be big headliners coming into town and take him to a third-rate barbecue. I will say I don't let the features pick where I eat. Good. Yeah. It was his town, so...

I don't want to take me there. What happened? It wasn't as good as my place. It was a place called Queez-Nose or something. I can't remember what it was. Yeah. What about this? I don't even tell people where people get so offended if you eat it the wrong place in the city.

Yeah. And there's not a single city where there's like a unanimous answer. Everybody goes, don't go to that. Oh, yeah. Don't go to that. What are you an idiot? Don't go to the point. And you go, I'm just, you know, I'm going to go to Chipotle and then not talk about it.

Yeah. You ever do this? This will break somebody. It'll crush them if they're real enthusiastic about their place. My friend Matt Howland, when I moved to Cincinnati, you got to go to Quatman's, man. I got best hamburger. I was like, yeah. I mean, he was after me for six months.

You got to go to Quatman's. I go, all right, buddy, let's go to Quatman's. And we go, he's got this best burger. Best burger you'll ever eat. He goes, what do you want? I go, I'll take a chicken sandwich. He's like, what are you doing? What are you doing, man?

And then to even just rub it in a little bit more about three weeks later, he was telling somebody else, you got to go to Quatman. I go, it's not very good, man. He ordered a chicken sandwich. Stop. Stellar hog is a place that I took you to. Yeah. That is a good, that's real good.

That's the place with the salami. What, man? Stellar hogs great. Yeah, what's your problem, Aaron? Yeah, you got no. I went to, like, when I was in Philly, I went to these two places they tell you to go, these two Philly cheese places. Oh, yeah, yeah.

And they're like, right across the street from each other. And they're like, everybody was telling me, they're like, it's the best. You got to go there. So I went to both. I got a place from each cut in half, you know, me and my buddy, you know, both tried them. I like that. And then I talked to somebody at the thing. They go, ah, that's the tourist spots, man.

You got to go. You know, you got. You can't win. Yeah, exactly. And it's like, what do you want me to do? Oh, yeah. I talk about this a little bit of my act, but, you know, that's a big thing on barbecue is it's never close in Texas.

Oh, yeah. I mean, that's a place right across street. You don't want to go there. You don't want to go there. That ain't real barbecue. You're going to get on a freeway. you're going about 96 miles. Yeah.

St. Louis barbecue from where I read. Staples is pork steak. Yeah. And I'm not into it. Pork shoulder. Yeah. Well,

they call them pork steaks, man. And that's like a St. Louis thing. And I've never. Not for me. Yeah. But I mean,

that is a St. Louis thing. I want my pork. Yeah, I like the way I was going to say that. But I like pulled. pork. I like pulled pork. Yeah. I think I knew what you're. Yeah. That's a good man. Yeah. That's nice job. Yeah. I don't eat pork now, but when I was eating it, I like pulled pork. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, that's

a Carolina specialty, right? Yeah. I used to go to Melvins and Bessemer's, those are the spots. Okay. Yeah, those two, I think they're owned by the same family. I used to go. Then they had sticky fingers. I would go there. Yeah, I've been a sticky fingers down there, but where you used to live, right? Yeah. Yeah. They had good ribs. Yeah. But Bessemers I used to go to. All the time. Almost daily. I got to try that. Yeah.

Yeah. Pull pork's not my favorite thing. It's fine. Opelika used to have a Papa Joe's barbecue, which was really good. But now we have chucks. And on, you go there on Saturday, you get buy one, get one free pool pork sandwiches. And I used to, one time I ate four. Wow. Yeah, I was pretty fat.

But I was heavy. I was drinking a lot. Wits. It goes like Wits? Wits. I've been to Wits. Yeah. Wits is good.

I don't know, I guess. I thought that was a national chain. I guess it's a chain. Yeah. So it's a fast food barbecue, right? Yeah. Is it not local? I thought it was local.

I've only seen them here. Okay. That's why, yeah, I thought it was everywhere. I've been a couple of those. I don't know if there is a, well, there was one national fast food barbecue place. I can't remember it. I mean, Famous Dave's is regional, but it's pretty. Yeah.

Famous Dave, I'm going to be honest, there's one in Hermitage, and it's pretty bad. It's still there? Yeah. I've had a couple good ones. I don't mean to trash them, but. It's, I don't know what they're famous for. But if you're going to a barbecue restaurant for the first time, you get the brisket. I get everything.

I do. I mean, I probably always get a three meat sampler and I, and sometimes more. I want to try everything. I don't eat it all, but I, yeah. Have you ever gone to a restaurant to say, give me everything? No, man, that'd be cool. One of everything. Yeah.

That'd be, you've done that? No. Oh, okay. I'm not making that kind of money right now, but I'd like to. Yeah. You know, Will could have, you could have done that at the place Will took you and you'd still strike out. What a dummy, man. We don't get, we don't get a lot of people coming through St. Louis comics.

I'll never come again. And I always want to make sure you have a good time. Yeah. And that's what he's going to pull is that. Will didn't even recommend a place for me when I was there. That's the best thing could have happened to you. You'd have been eating dry barbecue. Yeah. Overlooking the Missouri River. That's as close as a hint as I'll give you is where that place is.

Notice I'm not going to come here and say the name of a place. You would never. You would never. No, I'm not doing that. Now, what does this mean exactly, Greg? Unlike most other prominent barbecue sauces, the St. Louis-style variety, does it contain liquid smoke? Oh, I mean, I don't know that. I don't know that. You'll find that I'm not very knowledgeable. Something that I'm very passionate about. I just know what I like. Look, you don't have to spell toilet to use one, you know what I mean? Boy, I'll tell you.

Well, said. I've never heard that one. That's very folksy, and I like that. Yeah. Now, there's Memphis-style barbecue. That's, is that, um, that ribs is a big thing there, right? Yep, yep. Serve dry, season with dry rubs.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Carolina, which you already touched on a little bit, using vinegar-based sauces in the east and mustard-based sauces in the south. I like a mustard sauce. I like a mustard sauce too. Yeah, Georgia. Yeah.

Now, y'all do some weird stuff in Alabama. Alabama, why? Yeah, I've never tried it. It doesn't appeal to me. That's more of the Tuscaloosa area, I think. Where I'm from, I think we're using all mustard base. Okay. Yeah.

White sauce, so it's called. Yeah. Alabama white sauce. You like it? You like it? You like it? Yeah, that's great. Really? I like it all.

I haven't heard a single thing that I didn't like so far. Birmingham's got a couple of places that go out. Dreamland. Dreamland's a big one. And Moon... I don't know. The other one. No, no, it's dreamland.

I can't remember. I went to a Dreamland not long ago in Birmingham, and it had fallen off. No. Yeah. Their thing is ribs, isn't it? It's a little bit of everything. Okay. I don't know.

Jim and Nix is pretty good. Yeah, I like Jim and Nix. I like. I think they drop the gym, though. I just think it's Nix. What? Yeah, they got to fight. Is that real?

I don't know. I go there. Every time I go to Star Dome, they used to always put us the hotel right next to Jim and Nix. I'd walk over there. They should have done it like Ruth's Chris. And it would be Nick's. Nick's Jim. Nick's Jim Steakhouse or whatever.

Yeah. Yeah. Huh. You ever hear that story? We talked about that on the podcast, Ruth's Chris Steakhouse? It was a guy named Chris who had a steakhouse. And Ruth, the wife, wanted in a divorce. And despite him, named it Ruth's Chris Steakhouse.

Wow. I own you. Yeah. Wow. I'm pretty sure that's true. That's why the name is so confusing. It's never made sense to me. But I bet it is why they, it's memorable. Yeah.

Yeah. Greg, do you know how hot chicken started here in Nashville? No, I don't. It was a little bit of similar, a spite story. There was, uh, um, what my Drona Blake in his name? Is it? Well, I don't know his name, but, um, had he be? No.

Oh, princes. Prince. Yes, I'm sorry. Prince's hot chicken is the original first hot chicken here in Nashville. And the guy was a little flanderer. He was out on the town. His girlfriend didn't like it. So he was out late one night.

And she was like, I'm going to teach him a lesson. And she put hot spices on his chicken. He comes home middle of the night, early morning, eats it, loves it. Says this is great. And the rest is history. Generational wealth. I bet that really showed her. Yeah, she must have.

I feel bad for her now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that had to be a real sobering morning. I don't know if it happened all that fast, but yeah, he liked it. Now, hot chicken was not a thing in Nashville when I was growing up. This is a recent thing. Is it? Now, at least among white people, like Bolton's and princes, they've been around forever.

Yeah, yeah. But as far as like white people like, oh, you got to go to Nashville to get the hot chicken, that's something that's... As far as, like, being commercialized and franchised out. Oh, yeah, man. You don't have to. to go to Nashville. It's all. It's great.

I've never been to Princess, but Boldens is great. You go to a Zaxby's in Nebraska and they have Nashville hot chicken now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, really? Mm-hmm. It's everywhere.

I mean, yeah, there's every in St. Louis, there's a Nashville hot chicken. And Hattie Bees has really figured it out, though. Haddy Bees has got it down, like, like to, like commercialized. I mean, they really know how to work it. Mm-hmm. Yeah, they've really, like, when tourists come to Nashville, that's where they go, Hattie B's. Yeah.

Yeah. Unless they do a little research and then they maybe go to. Is there more than one location? Multiple. Okay. There's several in Nashville, but they've also branched out to other cities. Okay. And as long, I mean, we are talking meat.

So that whole Zaxby's and what's in, Keynes, the whole. Raising Cains. That's all Alabama, right? That started there. Oh, is it? I didn't know that. I think they're Louisiana, Raising Cains. Yeah.

I mean, Zachs. Feels more Louisiana. The Obelike Auburn area, though, is, it's got to be chicken finger capital. Yeah. I remember they told me that. There is chicken, there is Tendah Chick. There's Jim Bob's, which is the best. You're getting at Guthrie's?

Guthrie's. Guthrie's. Yeah. Guthrie's is the one I heard of. Guthrie's is the one, yeah. Yeah. I think sort of Zaxby's took what Guthrie's is doing and made it bigger. Maybe what Jim Bob's was doing.

Okay. Yeah. Guthrie's, uh, Vic Henley, a comedian used to talk about. It's from Auburn, right? Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. I think there's a lot of Guthries out there.

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That's helixleep.com slash Nate for their spring saving event and get 20% off sitewide from April 1st to April 16th. Helixleep.com slash Nate. Now, when we were on the cruise, most of us came in the day before. four and the day before we departed. And us three did. And Aaron said, I got us reservations at a restaurant. You want to go? I was like, absolutely.

And we all went. There was a few of Greg Garcia, Mike McKeown, Abby and her husband. Lucy was there. And we get there and it's Charlie Steakhouse, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I remember thinking, wow, I wish kind of Aaron had mentioned. This is a little proscy for me.

You know, and we hadn't got that Sykesville gig money. Exactly. We had a great time. Aaron foots the whole bill. I couldn't believe it. And then that was incredible because it wasn't cheap. And then this is the key. This is what you got to do.

Then Greg said, can we help with a tip? And Aaron's like, yeah, sure. You got to fumble with your wallet a little bit and hold up and then wait until somebody else. Wait till Greg offers it. Then Greg threw a tenor in there. And we're on our way. I did not throw it. I came in a little bit on that one.

Yeah, yeah. I felt bad, man. That was a big bill. So, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Stephen. Happy to do it. Thank you, Aaron. Yeah. Aaron's very generous.

And, of course, I missed that dinner. Well, you flew in the morning of. He came in the next morning, man. Yeah. Yeah. What, Dusty, if you're going to order a steak, what do you get? I don't know. I mean, I used to be like, uh, I used to like to go, like, medium rare.

but now I'm more of a medium guy. I don't really trust everything going on out here these days, and so I don't want it to be too rare. I like it about medium. That's where I'm at. Medium. A nice place I go medium rare, but if it's like a whatever place,

I'll say medium. Yeah. I don't really, I kind of just go, I want to just go, just do it and bring it. But steak lovers, they freak out about that.

Yeah, I don't care. Just knock the horns off, bring it out. I feel. Like, yeah, I mean, you're trying so hard, like, when you're like, oh, it's got to be like this. Yeah. And it's like just, I bet it's good. Don't do well done. My brother does.

Does he really? Yeah. Catch up on it too? Well done. Butterflied. Like, just, yeah, my brother Matt. Scattered, smothered, covered. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't like well done, but I could even go medium well. Yeah, that's fine. I worked my way down. Yeah. Medium and I'm not going any farther down. Have you ever sent a steak back? because you thought it wasn't cooked properly?

No. Man, my friend Mark Gross, I think he put this in a script on Leanne show. So I don't know if I should say it, but I'm doing it. Okay. He had this buddy of his, and his dad, they were all out to dinner, and the waiter comes out with a steak,

and it falls down on the floor. And the guy goes, I'm so sorry. I'm going to get you another steak. And he picks up the steak, and he starts walking me. He goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He goes, that steak stays here.

That's smart. Isn't that like it's such a dad? Yeah, I'll still take the other one. He goes, I want the steak, but that one stays here. I'm going to go back there and dust off that steak. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I hope I don't ruin the Lian. I think that might be part of the next season of Liam.

Yeah, but, yeah, Mark said I think they worked that story into one of the other. That's really funny. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no. Well, which cut of meat do you do, though? Yeah, so I was about to ask. I like a filet mignon. I like a rabbi.

Yeah. Ribbi. I like it all. I like it all. And I've come to it over the years. I used to get a New York strip, but now it's ribby. You know, isn't, so people always joke that a steak is bleeding on the plate, that red, but that's not blood, right? What is the red stuff coming out of a steak?

Oh, I don't know. I don't know. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, but I heard it's not blood. you look that up trisson wish i had my laptop yeah oh that's right

i was like i'm not going to need one today dude Greg's gonna carry the episode and here we are honestly didn't even know what some of the stuff is a lot to come i mean if we were narrowed on something the guy just all the i mean you know all meat what are you talking about do you know the red liquid in steak is not blood but it's a protein called myoglobin

mixed with water it stores oxygen and muscle tissue and turns red when exposed to air, acting as a natural juice that contributes to the flavor and tenderness of the meat. All blood is removed during processing, so there's not blood in any of the cuts. Yeah. But I always thought it was literally just bleeding on the table. Yeah. Yeah. And we still ate it. I went to a restaurant with a guy one time way back, and he ordered it like that, knocked the horns off, and it came, and it was so raw that I felt like he regretted it, but he had to eat it. Didn't want to admit it? He had to. He had to. to eat it and we watch them.

It's okay to eat raw meat, right? Raw beef, yeah. Yeah, not a lot of medium rare chickens. You ever have, yeah, yeah, chickens are different. My brother used to do that just to make my mom freak out my mom. She was barbering. She's like, Mom, how do you want your chicken medium or? What?

Growing up in Lebanon, there was no steak restaurants or no nice restaurants where they're even going to ask you how you want it to serve. So I was like a young adult before I even had to answer that question. Yeah. Yeah. And I just said medium well because that just seemed like what you say. Yeah. That's what I did.

And for probably the first 20 years of my young adult life, that's what. And then all of a sudden, people start telling me like, that's ridiculous. You get it rare. And I'm not saying. I'm never doing rare. No, I don't do it. I think it's so annoying to shame people and how they want it. Just eat it.

Who cares, right? Yeah. Yeah. The Western sizzling doesn't give you options. Well, that's what we had in Lebanon. Western sizzling. And it's on a. metal plate, it's still cooking when it comes to you.

They had a buffet in addition to the steak, right? At Western City, the same as Bonanza, right? Yes. You get a steak, but then you also got the buffet. Yeah. Gotcha. Yeah, you usually get, you know, either a steak and the salad bar or the buffet with both. Man, I can't tell you how happy I was walking into a bonanza as a kid.

Oh, yeah. I was the best. Oh, yeah. I can get it, whatever I want, you're saying. I've never heard of Bonanza. It's just a buffet. Really? Like a Golden Corral type place.

Yeah, similar to West. Western Sizzling. Or Western, like sort of a predecessor to. Like Mr. J's. You ever heard of Ponderosa? Ponderosa. Rians, maybe, or somewhere like that. Ryan's maybe or somewhere like that.

Ryan's is more golden crown. Yes, that's true. They came about later. Yeah. Yeah. Get it right. All right. So there's different types of beef for the stakes as well.

But for the record, though, just on that about sending food back, I, you never send anything. I agree with you. Never send it back. If it's, what if it's cold? You just don't eat it. You just don't eat it and leave. Yeah.

Because you don't know who's in the kitchen. Oh, he doesn't like the way this is cooked, huh? I'll give him some flavoring. I remember going with a date to some nice restaurant when I was a young man. It was one of the first times I've ever been to a nice restaurant, and they bring out a steak, and they're like, can you cut into it to make sure it's prepared properly? I didn't even know what it was supposed to look like. And I'm so nervous just cutting. It could have been bugs coming out of it.

I was going to say, yeah, it looks good to me. Yes, looks very warm. Yes. you? They put you on the spot there with the cut into it. Everybody's watching. That's a really, I don't know if I've even been to a nice steak place now that I've never had that happen. Really? Yeah, where they tell you to cut into it? That place we went in Tampa, the guy comes out with the display. It does out with the whole presentation. Yeah, he was good. He was good. He had it down. All right, so there's different types of beef used for the steaks.

The most popular now among nice restaurants is Angus beef. Angus. Yep. The American Angus Association. And this is just the type of cow it is. Certified Angus B, standalone brand that represents the best. Now, the best beyond that is Japanese. Wagyu. Yeah.

And that's much more expensive. Something I never order. Wagyu? Yeah, you got to, yeah, it's like you get their stakes and then Wagyu is like some insane price. And you're like, I'm fine with this. I would have been fine with a Western citizen. Do you know what I mean?

Wagyu with ragu on it. The Wagyu ragu? Wagyu ragu. Yeah. It throws people for a loop. Yeah. Because it's sort of like... Kind of like the best and the worst.

I don't know about the worst, but it's, you know, ragu's... Pretty low down. Common man. Yeah. You know, type thing. Yeah. Yeah. It really...

Wagyu ragu. Yeah, that's a good. I guess you'd be the ragu. Wash it down with a fango. Yeah. It's a ravioli with wagu beef in the ragu sauce. I see what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ragoo, waggo. Yeah, yeah. So Trista pulled up a picture of the cow. I never knew beef brisket was, that's where it came from, the front. Oh, yeah, right in the chest. Huh. Right in the pecks kind of area, I guess. Yeah.

Huh. And then Chuck is coming from the shoulders and neck. Nothing from the head, huh? You guys have, well. Depends on where you're at. Some countries will eat a lot of people. Have you guys ever had the beef ribs? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, those things. The ribs are huge, not a lot of meat on them, but they are very good. Yeah. They're giant. It's like Flintstones. Yeah, yeah, they call them dino ribs. It writes.

And it's usually I haven't found a place that has them every day. Usually it's like Sundays. I bought some beef ribs, did them in the crock pot. Really? Oh, I bet you that was good. Very good. Yeah. What's an animal that you can legally eat, but you won't eat that you haven't.

that you haven't before. Are there animals that are illegal to eat? Yeah, I mean, you can't eat an eagle. You can't eat an eagle, man. Yeah. Well, you talk about it. Yeah. You can't get a zebra burger somewhere.

But is it illegal, though? I think, yeah, I think it's illegal. Is it? Yeah, I won't. I bet. Yeah, I would think so. Eagles, that's 15 years, I bet. Yeah, you can't even kill an eagle, much less eat it.

Yeah, yeah. You're right, man. 15 for killing 25 if you eat. Yeah, yeah. I had kangaroo in South America. Really? They're called like Guanaco or something. It's like essentially their kangaroo, but it's like a, it's more of a llama looking.

But it's like, I shouldn't have even said. Yeah, yeah. I haven't eaten a lot of. It's their version, but you know, like our version of a kangaroo is a deer. Yeah. That is what I meant. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And I never thought I would eat that. I'm trying to think about alligator recently. Alligator's good. Mm-hmm. I've had alligators. Right all the all-gators feel good. Yeah, I mean, you know, some of that stuff is, I feel like it's just like, I don't know the word, but like you go and it's like, oh, it's cool.

Yeah, let's eat a little snake. Let's eat shark. Yeah, a little snake. Let's eat frog leg. Have you had rattlesnake? I have had it. Yeah, is it good? It tastes like chicken.

Squirrel, I've never had squirrel. I've had squirrel. I had a squirrel. I shot a squirrel and ate it. Was it good? I'm off for that. Come over my house. Yeah, you know, it's like, yeah.

That's a car problem because of squirrels. Okay, in the U.S., it is illegal to eat animals that are protected by conservation laws. So that includes sea turtles, migratory birds, whales, seals, and sea lions. You can't have whales or sea lions. Dogs and cats, you can't eat.

And bushmeat. Bush meat. Bush meat, which comes from wild animals such as bats, monkeys, and antelope. It doesn't make sense that dogs and cats are like, I mean, I don't want to eat them, but I don't understand why they're protected. Because we have so many. We care about them.

I don't know. But there's so many. Think if we opened it up. The pounds wouldn't be as full. Animal shelters would get a break. I think we should start opening it out. I don't even feel comfortable with this. I think so.

The shelters are full, guys. Yeah, exactly. I don't like that they put antelopes and bats in the same category. I know. Well, those are grouped together because the CDC. as they have a higher risk of communicable diseases like Ebola. So bats, monkeys, antelope, stuff like that. I didn't know.

Antelopes were getting into the same kind of... I feel like an antelope is like a deer. Yeah, it's getting into the same kind of trouble as a bat. Yeah. You can't eat any animal lungs. Those are banned by the USDA. Shark fins, you can't eat that. Horse meat for commercial sale.

So you can eat, if you kill your own horse and eat it, that's legal. but you can't sell it for other people. Can't have a horse meat restaurant. And if a guy's going around with, you know, Mr. Ed's. Seven horses worth of horse meat, that's for distribution. Yeah. That's not for consumption.

Yeah, yeah. In 2005, this was a big day for me. The importation of wild beluga sturgeon caviar. Oh, yeah, man. Yeah, you were going crazy. After a 90% population. I was 14. It was 14.

It's 14 years old. This used to be the great country. How big are those eggs you think? Oh my gosh. They got to be like, you know, those orbies things that inflate in the water? They got to be like that big. Caviar. Just caviar, just a bunch of them.

Because we had, we would catfish. And, you know, when you fillet the fish, you know, sometimes they'd have eggs in them. And that's what my dad would say. This is caviar. Some people eat this. And then we would just throw away. Wow. Yeah. You ever had it?

I've had caviar. I don't think. Is it good? Do you like it? It's okay. It's just, kind of like just salty. It's just kind of,

it's fine. Do you use it as a dip? Yeah, I've had it on like a cracker. Okay. Who knows if it was even the real thing? What kind of cracker you think? It seems like it's got to be a good cracker. Ritz is the best cracker.

You won't find me a better cracker than a Ritz. What about a townhouse? No. Ritz is a good cracker, but it just feels like you're having caviar. Is this a shape thing or is it a taste thing? You know, there is a cracker that, I just think a Ritz is perfect.

I just think it tastes great. It's perfect. But I think the townhouse makes it's like half cracker, half pretzel. Have you seen those? Where it's like pretzel on the bottom, cracker on the top. Anybody know what I'm talking about? I mean, I feel like I know something about it. Valerie's on it. She's getting to the bottom of it. Yeah. Look at half cracker, half pretzel please. Pretzel cracker hybrid. There it is

townhouse flip sides. Look at that. Mixed. Unbelievable cracker technology. Right there. Yeah, that's something. I'm going to Check that out soon. That might be good to have with some caviar. Oh, yeah. Townhouse. There you go.

We have caviar. I brought my own crackers, please. I almost feel like there's too much going on there. No, it's just the right amount. It's almost like putting a lot of sauce on something. It's like let me. That stands alone. Like the one that's on the top left there, a chicken and a biscuit cracker, you don't want to eat anything.

It's all in it. It's all there. Chicken and a biscuit. I remember eating three boxes of those. Greg, do you know the history of the filetal fish sandwich? No. Sounds like something you would share on Bob and Tom sometime back in the day. Did a Bob and Tom report this morning.

It's a current segment. You still do those? Yeah. Oh, okay. Time to time. Yeah. Making it like it's a thing in the past. I honestly thought once the consumer started, you didn't do that anymore.

You're still doing comedy, Greg? Acting like my reports out of dated or something. Greg, you're still at it? Good for you, buddy. There was a McDonald. Can I share it with you? Yeah, man. You're doing a spaghetti show here in a couple days.

And you're coming to me about what, you know. Oh, no. Oh, no. What was that guy's name? Oh, Brian walked off. Aaron Ferris, you were right. Flay with fish. there was a McDonald's franchise in Cincinnati that was predominantly Catholic.

So during Lent, they were not selling any hamburgers because on Fridays. On Fridays during Lent, right? And not Ash Wednesday up until Easter. And so the franchise owner went to Ray Kroc and said, can I create the sandwich, the filet fish, to sell on Fridays? And Kroc wanted to try the hula burger, grilled pineapple. with cheese on a cold bun. Hmm. And he said, we'll try both.

And whichever one people like the most, you know, that's what we'll go with. And flailo fish dominated and one hands down. And now 25%- It sounds like a rare bad decision on Ray Kroxend. Yeah. Pineapple sandwich. That's terrible. Yeah.

25% of all flailo fish sales occurred during the 40-day period of Lint. That's crazy. Just on those few Fridays. Where did the McRib come in? I don't know Easter Sunday Instead of ham I think of

fish is meat But I guess it's pescatarian technically Is that right? Well I mean that's basically saying Fish is fish Okay Well then

Pesca Pesca means fish Fish is fish Okay I think that is right though It's like it's not Technically meat It's fish

I always thought roast beef was, you know, roast beef, but it's just roast beef. I mean... Well, that's true, too. I really didn't even know what that was. I looked up. Pescatarian is like one who eats only fish, I believe. Okay.

Well, what is fish then? Is it a meat? I mean, if you go in a lake or a pond or a ocean, anywhere there's water that can be some fish. I will leave again. No, I mean... This is what we're Googling. What is fish?

Do you have any friends that thought the filial fish was a healthy the alternative? Yeah. I had a lot of friends that thought that. Was it ever sold that way, kind of? Or was it just, you think it's helpful here. I just had friends to be like, well, I'm, you know, I'm a diet. I'm going to have a Yeah, I can't have this beef. I'm going to have a deep fried fish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and that clean, clean oil at McDonald's. While technically fish is animal flesh or meat, it is often characterized separately from land animal meat like beef and pork in culinary, dietary and religious context due to its distinct nutrient profile, which is high in omega-3 fatty acid.

So there's some sort of chemical difference. Okay. Enough that you can categorize them differently. Gotcha. Yeah. The O, by the way, that means of, if you guys didn't. Filate. Yeah.

Yeah, like O'clock. Yeah. No. Is it? O'clock is of the clock. Oh, really? That's right. Yeah.

It's five of the clock. Yeah. O'Reilly's Of the Riley Yeah I had a clock this weekend In my hotel room And I went in late at night

And it said It said zero And then they had the You know the colon or whatever And then it said You know 56 So it was you know It was on military

Military's not 56 Oh that's oh there is Oh 50s Yeah That would be 1256 a.m. Oh I thought Yeah they'd say that in the army Oh okay

Warren, you will be up at 0500. Yeah. Which is 5-8. Okay. I never been in the military. So that was really, I thought the clock was like really broken. You were on your way in, right? You were like, what is it?

Zero o'clock. I was that close. Yeah. Didn't you have another medical situation this weekend in a show? Oh, I did. I forgot about that. Yeah. In St. Louis, towards the end of the show.

And actually, you know, we talked about this how Vince Fabra said I should call for the house lights when that medical emergency happened. Yeah. This time, an audience. member goes, can we get some house lights? I go, well, let me, let me make the call. Good for him. Let me, yeah. There's 30 minutes left in the show. Let me, let's just wrap this up. 30 minutes. But if you're an hour and a half, we got 30 minutes. There's three minutes. There's three minutes was left. Oh, okay. An audience member had it. I had a seizure in the audience. I'm like, why don't you work your way up to

theaters, then you can control the lights. All right, buddy. That's why, you know, I'm going to take some time off to let my audience, you know, get healthy so that I could start doing shows again. I thought that you had a medical, personally had a medical situation. I was like, hopefully you didn't ask Will. He would have taken into Arby's to get checked out next to where he takes people to get barbecue. But yeah, two Saturdays in a row. I've had medical emergencies.

Wow. Yeah. There was something going on at the Brad Upton taping yesterday. Yeah. Yeah. Which is a man, it's great job. Did they stop the taping or did they just keep going? we skip coming.

Yeah. Front row. Oh, man. That's what I think. We just need to have staff ready. When somebody has a medical emergency, scoop them up, get them out there. Let's not even interrupt the flow of the show. Figure it out in the lobby.

Yeah, exactly. At my age, with the age of my crowd, we're going to have to start doing it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I was listening to this. You know how old you are? Because at Little Rock Man, I was like, I was like enjoying the music as they were coming in. And I went to Wayne, I was like, are you doing all yacht rock because of how old I'm?

He goes, yeah, yeah, he goes. Yeah. I go, it's great choice, man. I request yacht rock now. I think it's a, it's a, I like it. It's, I think it's the right vibe for what I'm trying to do. Because so many times I go to a club and it's like, pons, pons, and you go, well, that's not what we need. Yeah.

And I said it in, I was in Edmonton, not long ago, they go, any, any recommendations for a type of music? I go, you just like some yacht rock? and they're like, yacht, yacht rock? I was like, yeah, a yacht rock. Like the boat. And they're like, like boat music? I go, it's yacht music. Like, okay, yeah, and then I had to like pull it.

Jimmy Buffett, Chris Crawl. Type in yacht, no, Chris, Crosk. In yacht rock, it's going to be fine. Who's that? Yod Rock was a term. Christopher Claus. Totally, but I don't think it's a term. There's a documentary right now.

I've seen the whole documentary about it. Yeah, it's amazing. You see a part when they asked Donald Fagan if he wanted to be part of the yacht rock? No. and I don't remember it. They go, Donald Fagan, who's Steely Dan,

who's, you know, the guys, they go, hey, he calls him up, he goes, hey, we're doing a yacht rock documentary. Do you want to be part of it? He goes, a what documentary? He goes, yacht rock. And he had some choice words for him and hung up the problem.

Not all of them embrace the term making fun of their... Well, I've always liked that music without even knowing that's what it was called. Me too. Yeah, me too. Yeah, me too. I used to have a joke about my Uber driver always turning it when I get in the car.

He would turn it there. But I didn't know that Yacht Rock was such a well-known term that I could use. I always say 70s light rock. Yeah. It's got a lot of R&B in it, really, is the point that these guys were making. They kind of stole from a lot of R&B. I remember when I would like listen to the radio station and they would be talking about how what they're not going to play. You know, on the other stations, you might hear this.

But on your station, you're going to hear this. And I was like, I like the one from the other. I guess they would always be like, it would always be the dubies or Christopher Cross. Yeah, Toto or something. Yeah, you listen to that station. You're going to hear this. I'm like, well, all right. Yeah, will you plug the other station?

At least plug the station. Yeah. I've gone to a church like that. And other churches, they're talking about. And I was like, that sounds pretty good. Yeah, really? Yeah. Let me go over there.

I kind of want to go to your church based on what you're saying. Yeah. You would love my church. Yeah. Yeah. You're probably a little too, not conservative enough for it. Oh, okay. Pretty strict over there?

Pretty strict. Okay. Pretty strict. Even the men aren't a lot of wear pants. We protest chick for Lakers. They're open on Wednesday nights. Those are jokes you can hear on. Brian Bates is special.

Boy, I tell you. Are we can wrap it up? I got a special to go do so. Yeah, you do. This weekend. Well, you know, I'll ask. Okay, I'm sorry. You know, I'm leading.

You're right. I'm sorry. So, yeah, so we'll wrap it up here. Brian's got a special to do. What you said, man, nothing. There was an episode of Seinfeld where. Kramer finds the old Merv Griffin's set. He puts in his, and he tends like he's hosting a show.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he has guest on, and George comes in, and Jerry said, what happened? And Kramer's like, I'll ask the questions here. And he goes, what happened? What does he just did? Exactly, exactly. Yeah. So, well, this has been a good episode about meats.

I liked it. And Brian, where are you going to be this weekend? Well, this Saturday I'm going to be here at Zanies on the Comedy All-Star show, trying out new material because now that I taped a special, I got to get some new stuff out there. Yeah. So I'll be doing that. Then April 10th, I'm in Rochester, New York, Comedy at the Carlson.

Two shows, both sold out. Is that true? Yeah, I mentioned before. Some people help me out, a little fundraiser, but whatever. It doesn't matter. You don't need to say that. They're still coming. Yeah, well, I wasn't going to say it to him.

Oh, I'm sorry. But the show I really care about is April 25th in Sykes. in Missouri. I mean, I didn't mention they're having Alfredo as well. Oh, really? Raggo. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe. Maybe. Do an encore at the pancake breakfast. So it's Fetuccini and spaghetti. I think so. Sort of white sauce, red sauce deal. Yeah. I don't know. I make it crazy. And once again, we're going to get some clarity on whether you can just get the pasta. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So that's where I'm going to be in April. Yeah. April 11th, the Goloys Theater, Springfield, Missouri, where I was born.

Home of the Bass Pro Shop. Yeah, the original Bass Pro Shop. I think I've been there to that place. I know I've been to Springfield, and I know I've been to the Bass Pro Shop, but I think Goloys Theater I did. Yeah? I liked it.

I had a great time. Okay, yeah, I'm excited about it. I did a theater there. I don't know what it is. I bet it was Goloz. I bet it was. It's a great time. Aaron, where's the Boy I Tell You Tour going?

The Boy I Tell You, Thores. I'm sorry, Dustin. That's all right. I'll let you take that one. I'm here in Nashville, Zanies Comedy, on April 17th and 18th. It's part of the Nashville Comedy Festival. Then May, Salt Lake City at Wise Guys,

and then over to Washington, D.C., our nation's capital, at DCMROV. I'm excited about all these shows. Aaron Webercomcom. This is Aaron, by the way. AaronWebercom for all maturedates. That's by MySpace page. Check it out.

Come see me on the road. We're really doing it. Okay, April 14th. I'll be at Zanis, Nashville. May 1st, Dallas, Texas, May 2nd, Houston, Texas. So come check me out. Where are you playing in Houston, you know?

I don't know. It's a theater, but I don't know where it is. Dallas is sold out, I think, at the Majestic. But Houston, there is some tickets available. So, so get something. Yeah, get out there. People that I know in Houston. Yeah. I used to live there. Go see dusty.

Yeah. Okay. Well, we had a lot of fun. This is a great episode. One of the best. And I think so. Thank you, Greg Warren. Thank you. You past. First appearance. You passed.

So I can come back here like a year. Well, I mean, I don't want to speak for these guys, but I feel like you do. We don't know. You're not, it's not going to be like 15 times again, like the last time. But every now and then. We're not even going to have 15 times. Well, I was just thanking Greg. I was thanking Greg for being here when you guys jumped in.

Oh, I'm sorry. I started insulting him. You're right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Thank you for being here, Greg. You're welcome.

I appreciate you. Yeah, I appreciate you. You're welcome back anytime. Thanks for having me on your show. Yes, yes. Yeah, you got to be on one of the lucky ones that I lead. And, you know, thank you for your city. You know, I'm repping the Cardinals out here.

That's beautiful. So, all right. Well, thank you very much. We're having a good time. Boy, I tell you. This message is brought to you by the Capital One Venture X card. Venture X offers the premium benefits you expect, like a $300 annual Capital One travel credit for less than you expect.

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