The Nateland Podcast - #93 Nate & Laura at the Grammys

Episode Date: April 6, 2022

On this week's episode, the guys are finally back together! Laura joins the crew to talk about the Bargatze's big weekend at the Grammys, Breakfast updates us on his new baby burrito, and Aaron gets stuck in an elevator (which might have been his fault).   Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail]

hello folks welcome to the nateland podcast let's go folks welcome that's the new open with hello let's go is this there you go you know's pretty fun. I just thought of it now. Welcome to the Nate Land Podcast, as always. Aaron Weber, and look who's back. Hello, folks. Brian Baby Bates. Welcome back to the show. Thank you.

Baby's good. She's great. She's under the table right now. And he's just rocking over their foot. She's under the table right now. And he's just rocking over their foot. Like, he just. She's doing real good, guys. She's in the car, but it's a little chilly day, so I think we can leave the windows up.

Welcome back. We will get into all of this. You know, we had, obviously, the Grammys. You're back, and there's a lot of stuff that's kind of catch-up episode. Vandy sent me the new hat with the V. I just changed it. I forgot. People love it.

They don't like the V. It looks like the Vegas hockey team. But I don't know for sure. I was at first, you're like, you don't want change. And then you're like, I don't know for sure. But, you know, I don't know. I was at first, you're like, you don't want change. Yeah. And then you're like, I don't know. If this is all a sign of us growing, then I'm, you know, if it's moving forward, if we get a new state, it's all this kind of new thing, then yeah, yeah.

Let's change away. So we'll start off with you guys. That's why we're here. So we're going to do do some we got a lot of comments from a lot of episodes uh so uh we will get going and then we will get into everything else uh advertising comments this is back to advertising i mean that was like two months ago yeah crazy it's been a long time inner ninja should be in the ninja part yeah there was an advertisement for pepsi in the 90s where if you saved up enough points you could trade them in for a special item in the commercial they showed a fighter jet for an astronomical number of points that the company figured no one could collect well of course someone did and they sued and they sued pepsi for not gifting the fighter jet for those

points wow that's crazy that really happened uh 33 million dollar fighter jet yeah how many points would you have to only nate could drink enough pepsi to earn points for 33 million dollar yeah did he win you needed 7 million Pepsi points. Yeah. And for some context, a t-shirt was 75 points. So they thought 7 million. Yeah. How would you get it?

What is a Pepsi? Are there Pepsi points? Yeah. How do you earn a point? One point a can? Is it 10 points? You know. Yeah.

Like what? Oh, look right down there at the bottom. One billion. A two liter bottle of Pepsi is worth two points. Twelve pack of cans yielded five points. But you could also purchase Pepsi points for 10 cents each. So, I mean, like. You could at least get a car.

Yeah. You could, like, so that person, say that person probably just, maybe it's like a rich person, and he's like, well, I'll just buy 10 cents on the dollar, 7 million. So he spends that to get a fighter jet that he knows is worth $33 million. Yeah. So if you buy those points, that's what? That's 700,000? 7 million and 10 cents.

Does it say who the guy is? No, it doesn't have a name on here. Oh, Leonard. Some guy named Leonard. Oh, yeah. That's all the information we need. 21-year-old business student at a community college.

Oh. I got it going on. He went after. I guess he maybe didn't buy all those points, but he looked at it as he just went for it. Yeah. Y'all could have probably looked in the story more

before you just read a comment and figured it out on air. But I'm glad y'all did it. I'm back, baby. Yeah. Here we go. I know. I think you have some. The first comment has a story to it that we could talk about,

and you're like, well, let's just read it while we're taping it. And so people at home, yeah. Yeah, that's good. Thank you, Inner Ninja. Look forward to you being on the show soon. Jamison working. Apple has a policy that does not allow bad guys in movies or tv to use an iphone for all the stuff that they produce i'm guessing on apple tv

and all the well everybody has a mac so i guess you know a good guy is one he has a apple on the back of his computer that's probably pretty smart i googled this i did look this up oh why would you yeah of course the one that's self-explanatory that is really like nothing but the cool one of the story they got afraid we know nothing about well i want us to you know have some intrigue here yeah uh there was a director who who was interviewed and i forgot what the movie was but he said that apple would not let the bad guys. Yeah, it's pretty much self-explanatory. Oh, my gosh. Explain it again.

Yeah, well, you know there's bad guys in movies. Well, if you have to call someone, you're a bad guy, you get an Android. Oh, so Apple has a policy that it's not allowed bad guys in movies or TV to use an iPhone? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What about the Pepsi thing where the guy got a fighter jet?

I don't know. Let's look at it and read that about it. It looks unreal. 33 million is the manufacturer. 7 million Pepsi points. The jet was a steal. So he decided to go. I mean, we could do an episode on that.

And you know nothing more than just what this is. I mean, you've had a baby, but you've been home for a month. I don't know if I see a bad guy on a Mac and I think, man, that Mac must be bad. 46,000 cans every day for a year. It's 552,000 total ounces of Pepsi. 2.5 billion calories uh four million and expenditure what is that is that the word expenditure expenditure yeah so what he did was he said look it's going to cost four million dollars to drink enough pepsi to earn that

organically yeah what he did was he just raised money bought the points like we said seven hundred thousand dollars yeah that's how much it cost to buy seven million points yeah he mailed uh he mailed 15 pepsi points along with a check for seven hundred thousand dollars and eight dollars i mean this story is unreal dude we will yeah we need to look into that we'll dive into this we'll follow up and that's crazy i was up we could get, dude, just to come out with one of the coolest stories ever and just go, did you guys hear about that monkey died at that zoo? Oh, yeah. What happened? No, I just saw a headline about it.

All right. Next comment. Let's not read into it more. That was the last comment I put into. That was? Yeah. comment um let's not read into it more that was the last comment i put into that was yeah i was up like at 1 a.m and i was like i need at least two comments for every show and i found that i thought that's interesting but i didn't i didn't look into it past that yeah well that's you know it's late to work till 1 a.m uh i slept four hours the night before But You know Well I mean I didn't sleep till

I get up Got a baby I know you got a baby That's true You got a baby You're the first one to ever have one So I miss this guys

I miss this We're already back in it We're back in it Yeah Single moms all over the world somehow figure it out but well single moms ain't working on this podcast that's true they don't have the it's it's hard to read a comment to inner ninja give you just within one second googled it and read one article and it's all this crazy.

All right, no, it's been crazy for you. Talk show comments. Ross Montgomery. I want to see Nate go on Hot Ones. That would be an incredible interview. I would like to see you do that. You ever watch those? Yeah, I've seen some of them. I've watched all of them, but I've seen some of them.

I met that guy randomly. I've seen some of them. I've watched all of them, but I've seen some of them. I met that guy randomly. We were eating at a restaurant, and then he came up, and we talked to him. And he was with a group that we knew.

But it was cool. I was like, oh, yeah, dude. Because that dude's huge. Yeah, massive. Started. Very low key. It was very, when he sat down,

it was very just like when he sat down was like very like just like you know he talked about it i mean this was probably a year and a half ago or something but he just talked about what he was doing he's like yeah we just do you know talking about like he still loves it and like he's you know you wouldn't think like and i knew him you're like oh your thing's huge man like it's so big you know he's a great interviewer too he has really good questions yeah and you see people try to answer them while they're dealing with the hot sauce yeah and so like all the the fake phony media training just fades away yeah and you're like oh i'm actually

hearing this person yeah yeah it's pretty awesome yeah it's fun uh matt lacombe i've never related more with nate than after hearing his disgust with septuagenarian. What's the word? Septuagenarian. Septuagenarian. Septuagenarian. Septuagenarian.

I think I announced him. They won a Grammy this weekend. Keep it going for septuagenarian, everybody. The look on Nate's face as breakfast and Aaron casually discuss the age range for septuagenarian followed by his what. And whoever says that at least 15 times in 60 seconds was just more proof that he is the greatest average American. Thanks for all the great laughs each week.

I appreciate you guys. Keep it up. Yeah. What did it mean? Somebody in their seventies. Yeah. They, I mean, they can't even say that. You're making them feel bad.

Because it's a word they can't say anymore. In your 70s, you start cutting it. They don't have the time to get through that word. Time's everything. Once you get in your 70s, you think, I'm not saying it now. And when you're in your 70s, I'm not wasting a good two hours of my day just trying to, instead of saying 74. Sectuagenarian.

Yeah. Life hacks comments. Joe Tinty. But it looks like it says Twinty. Twinty, yeah. But it's Joe Tinty. He looks like it says Twinty Twinty yeah but it's Joe Tinti he put the

pronunciation yeah look at Joe a lot of people put them in and I usually just don't add them just let you read them

but that one it's feeling nice you have a baby you know you got a little more sensitive you go alright Joe that's somebody's kid

that's somebody's kid right there. That's somebody's son. Somebody's son. Mama Tinty could be listening. Yes. Yeah. I just want to let you know that one of your life hacks came in handy. I drink a specific victory beer each time my alma mater's college basketball

team wins. The other night they won, and I was out of that kind of beer, so I had to go to the store to buy it after the game. They didn't have any chilled, so I had to buy it warm. On my drive home, I was trying to figure out how I would quickly cool it to drink in the same night. I had your podcast playing and I kid you not, right after this thought popped in my head, you all mentioned the life hack of putting a wet paper towel around the drink and putting it in the freezer for 15 minutes.

I tried it and it worked. Although I did it for 30 minutes, if nothing else, your hacks made my evening a little more enjoyable. Have a good one. Well, that's cool. Look at that. I hear help in the world. Change your lives.

That's what we do. Yeah. Helping people drink. Yeah. He only has one after his team wins. What if he's like, who's your favorite team uh yukon women's basketball you're like oh so you're an alcoholic the team that's never lost who's your online connecticut um okay

uh jeremy rice arrest reese the life hack where you cross out words with random letters and numbers works great. I've used this ever since I first learned about it, since I'm not involved in a top-secret international espionage. I have no clue why I need to use it, but my kid's eighth-grade math teacher clearly can't be trusted. What was it? Instead of marking out words that you've written, add letters to them. Here's a good example.

You cross this out. If you just scribble through it, you can clearly see. But if you write other letters over it, your brain can't figure out what it is. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's a fun one. That is a good one. If you're writing some creepy, weird stuff.

So what do you write? Just like, hello, over it? Hello, folks. Yeah, just hello, like hello over it? Hello, folks. Yeah, just hello, folks over it a bunch. Yeah. You got to write multiple words over it? I think it looks like they did here in this example. You just write over it a couple times.

So instead of crossing out, you got to put in a good 10 minutes of writing a paragraph. It is more time intensive for sure. Yeah. Which I would understand if you're, yeah, like you said, if you're a paragraph. It is more time intensive for sure. Yeah. Which I would understand if you're, yeah, like you said, if you're a spy. Yeah.

If you're that worried about people reading it. But, you know, he doesn't, he doesn't trust his eighth grade math teacher. So I'll be like that. And I do love that you could just, I hope Jeremy goes into eighth grade math,

drops his kid off and just looks at him. And that teacher looks at him and they and they both know that the other knows. Yeah. And then they just have this weird relationship. Uh-huh. I like that. I do like that. World record comments.

Nate Heckle. Heckley. Heichle. What? You just said it three different times. What would you say? I'd say Helkey. Helkey. Helkey, yeah. You got Heckle on the mind. what you just said three different times what would you say i'd say helky helky helky yeah

you got heckle on the mind uh i'm proud to say that my chiropractor has made himself somewhat of a local celebrity by setting several guinness records he is seven including the tallest stack of donuts in a minute fastest to drink a liter of gravy, 38.22 seconds. Fastest blindfolded mile run. Fastest time to tie a shoe. Most shirts worn simultaneously while running a marathon, 50. Most consecutive viewings of the same movie in a movie theater. Captain Marvel 106 times in a row and fastest marathon and roller skates it shows you that you don't necessarily need to have a skill that no one else on earth

has you just have to be creative oh wow and you're like uh how's he as a chiropractor? He's decent. He's decent. You know, that's not his main. I wouldn't say he's crushing it, but he's not bad. He's got a lot of stuff he's working out to do. And then he goes and watches that movie 116 times in a row. And you're like, Doc, my back is killing me. He goes, I don't know what to tell you i'm i'm on when i get done with this captain marvel movie i will come is it captain america no it's captain marvel that's what it's called oh uh when i get done with captain marvel i'll come

he's like well what are you at i'm Yeah. You're going to watch 112 more times. His old practice goes under. And he goes, I mean, you have so many. Why did you need that one too? Fast as blindfolded mile run. Tallest stack of donuts in a minute. I feel like I could. Imagine seeing that guy run with a blindfold on.

Someone's like, what's that guy doing? You're like, I don't know. It's my chiropractor. I'm going to see him next week. I mean, just. And he's doing all this stuff, and you're still only somewhat of a local celebrity. What town do you live in? I hope you should move to a smaller town where you should be a much bigger celebrity because you've done a lot

of stuff. I like it. I'll go to them. I'd love to go to them. Your chiropractor was an Olympic athlete, wasn't he? Yeah, mine won silver. I only did it for a little bit. He won the silver medal in the

silver... I can't even say that. Silver. Civil War. Civil War. Yeah. He doesn't have any world records, though. He might.

I mean, he won a silver medal in the bobsled. Is that all of them are in there, right? I think so. Yeah. I'm guessing the gold medal would have the record. Yeah, but I'm saying throughout his career. Okay. Like there's other little weird kind of things that he could want.

He was a sprinter, and so they get a lot of sprinters to go – to get them to get into bobsledding. Because the ones that are not fast enough to actually – like they're fast enough, obviously, but then there's another level. And so they're like, well, just come here and you can do this bobsledding. Have you heard this new thought experiment going around the internet that I've been obsessed with? Usain Bolt versus Joey Chestnut.

You have to eat one hot dog and then run 100 meters. Who wins? Usain Bolt, obviously, faster. You got to swallow the whole hot dog. You got to eat the whole hot dog. You can eat it at the beginning or at the end. yeah whenever you want it's tough oh the beginning of the end i think the end usain might have a chance but i mean like what's he going to run just five seconds slower that's right so it's like you're like but he can maybe eat a hot dog considerably more quickly than Usain Bolt. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think Joey Chestnut's got it. Yeah. Yeah, and that one's not bad. You like that better than the doors versus wheels? Wheels and doors. I mean, that was just, you know, someone like, how much you think about it and you're like, all right, dude. Well, you know, there's a wheel inside a wall.

Okay, all right. That's the point's a wheel inside a wall that okay all right that's the point of it but like cabinets are like doors right you can yeah we'll call them doors if you want we'll see you're doing the same thing we've got some comments in here about that okay okay all right we're waiting can't wait can't wait per jellum hello folks greetings from copenhagen when y'all talked about the world's tallest man blending in, I really related. I am 6'9", and remember vacationing in Maryland. Everyone from the passport lady at the airport to the guy on the street would come in on my height with a do-you-play ball. At Baltimore Aquarium, they had a machine that would measure you and compare you to an aquatic animal.

When I tried it, it went, you are six foot nine and a half. You're the size of a baby killer whale. And after a pause, it said, you should play for the Celtics. In fact, I am an operatic, wait, what is that? Operatic? Operatic tenor. Operatic. I've never seen that word. I'm guessing it means of an opera. An opera, yeah. An operatic, operatic tenor, operatic. I've never seen that word.

I'm guessing it means of an opera. An opera, yeah. An operatic tenor. And I'm trying to find out if, in fact, I might be the tallest professional operatic tenor in the world. Most tenors are short, so I'm working on it. It would be a fun thing to have on my website. Yeah. I mean, if anybody knows knows i would imagine you have to be there's got to be what like eight of you and no i don't know

there's got to be i mean there's a there's probably a gazillion tenant because the bands are you gotta be most tenors versus how many wills. Who knows? You're probably the tallest person to ever live in Copenhagen and vacation to Maryland. Yeah. Probably the tallest person to do that. There's a bunch. He might be the tallest. I mean, are you the tallest that ever is in an opera?

Maybe. I looked at Purge Ellum's website. Yeah? Oh, really? He's a pretty tall guy. Yeah. Six foot nine. Yeah.

He hovers over the tenor. He's a pretty tall guy yeah six foot nine yeah he hovers over the the tenor he's a tenor yeah could you be the thomas tallest singer is there even a singer that's none that none that i can think of like that's legit yeah like you might be way more than just you're thinking too small yeah jellum i think Yeah, Jell-O. I think you can go. Per. I think you can go. Yeah, I think you can go for a lot more. Who vacations in Maryland? Well, I'm sure we go to Copenhagen's Maryland when we go up there.

Whatever their Maryland is? Yeah. Their Baltimore. Yeah, we go there and see. I bet Maryland is pretty awesome, too. There are parts of it that are okay. That's just a funny place. You live in Denmark. There's parts that are okay.

Let's go to Baltimore. I know, but Maryland's bigger, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a whole state. Have you been to Maryland? I've driven through it. There you go. They went to the aquarium, Baltimore Aquarium.

They had nonstop flights. They could get the Southwest exit row where he – that's what a guy that needs it. I'd like to just see his flight situation. What does he do? You got to get that seat with no seats in front of you. Yeah. On a Southwest flight.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's – yeah, that's tough. I think he could be a – yeah. As far as our book goes, you're the tallest singer that's tough. I think he could be, yeah. As far as our book goes, you're the tallest singer that's ever lived. Tallest Nate Land fan that I know of. If you're taller than 6'9", let us know. Yeah, could you Google tallest singer?

Tallest singer ever? I mean, what? Aaron, thanks for jumping in. Shaquille O'Neal. She's a rapper. Shaquille O'Neal. She's a rapper. Sorry. Charles Kelly from Lady A. He's 6'6", so he's close.

But, I mean, Peter Steele is 6'8". Who's Peter Steele? Steely Dan? He's from a gothic metal band, Type O Negative. He's 6'8". He's got you beat by one inch. Pergellum does. Pergellum's 6'8". He's got your beat by one inch. Pergellum does. Pergellum's 6'9".

Oh, that's right. Yeah, you got it. Peter Steele built. Go on, Notre Dame. I went to Notre Dame. We didn't do height. I didn't take a height class. 6'8".

And he doesn't sing. Oh, is he? He is a singer yeah it's probably a loose definition of singing but still tallest opera do tallest opera singer but still he's shorter than pergelum so i mean uh yeah they come in uh they come in all shapes and sizes well yeah okay yeah they do no answer just the answers they come in all shapes and many are surprisingly short compared to the impression we have of them from video performances these are our sources this is from a reddit account that they've since deleted it since they posted this comment. Yeah, was there another thing? But it's like, what is the highest?

No. That's the highest voice. Yeah, what is that? Australian one? Yeah. Yeah, just click one and see. Okay. If y'all could jump in and help out, it'd be great.

Bates was doing great now. He's already back on board. Shifted. Yeah, I wonder. You know how many times you go, I wonder what it is as you sit in front of that computer. Yeah. And you just go, all right, let's move on and not try to be fun about it. Don't you think sometimes it's more fun to just leave it open-ended?

Sometimes. You have to ponder. Philosophy. But the point of this is to be entertaining and funny. Right, right, right. So it's not supposed to be like, I wonder who the tallest opera is. Okay, next thing. We're not just giving.

This is not called homework for the entertainer. If everybody's at home, it's not like, guys, look up who's the tallest opera person and you do the work. Tell us next week. They go listen to these ads. They do us a favor by all that stuff, and they're supporting us. But you guys let us know because it's difficult when we do it. Okay, I'll look into this. I'll get back to you.

Yeah, it's difficult when we do it. Okay, I'll look into this. I'll get back to you. Yeah, it's been three months. Prajel might be vacationing here. Who goes to Maryland? Better than Baltimore. You and him should go to the Baltimore Aquarium, and I think you'd have a good time. I'm sure it'd be real different from the other aquariums I've been to. You think you're the size of a baby killer whale as well?

They said the same thing to me. You should not play for the Celtics. Just a different one. They start asking you, how did you get out? They think we actually think you are a baby killer whale. How are you even doing this game right now? Founding Fathers and Supreme Court comments, Steve Savage. Stasevich?

Stasevich. Israel Bissell, I don't know, Joe Biden. Israel B-I-S-S-Ee-l who actually rode over 300 miles to philadelphia to warn of the war paul revere only rode just over 10 miles revere however had a better name that was easier to rhyme and sell as a hero a man who wrote the book about it was actually good friends with paul revere and kind of created this folk hero narrative. Israel Bazil kind of got left out of history. Basically because people thought his name was dumb. I'm glad to hear that's been going on for a long time.

Because you think like. You do think like all back then they were like. Figure it out. And you're like. It all boils down to like. Ah it's a lot dude. What's that guy's name? And then they.

You know. That is crazy. Paul. Let's just lot, dude. What's that guy's name? And then they, you know. That is crazy. Paul. Let's just go with Paul. Paul Revere. That's crazy. Actually rode over 300 miles to Philadelphia. And no one, I mean, I care, Israel.

They should have called him Izzy. It's all about, you know. It is funny. Yeah. I i mean he looked at paul vera as a joke wrote 10 times now 300 he wrote three yeah 30 times 30 times as much wow on a horse right yeah 300 miles that's you know golly and paul verere i mean stepped out of his door and yelled it uh i think something's happening over there that's all paul revere did am i crazy did y'all hear that he goes back inside dustin james hey guys big fan of the show i really enjoyed the last episode about the

founding fathers i went to the national archives a couple of years ago and was stunned to find out there's a handprint of, on the declaration. I asked a guard who nervously said it was somebody in the preservation department who handled the document without gloves several decades ago, thought you guys would like to know. Man, that's a tough one for that person. To leave a handprint on it, wow.

Yeah, and just be, I wonder if they, you know, do you fire them? Yeah. And if you're like, well, that's not fair. You're like, well, that's, you know, really the main, the only thing we have a pretty strict policy about is don't touch it without a glove. Have you ever watched Antique Warehouse? What is that show? Rose Show.

Rose Show. And then you're just like, don't, like, you know, that's tough. You got Cheeto dust all over his fingers. You could also say, why was it out like that? Like, why was it so out that they were like, some guy just walked in, you know? Hmm. Hmm. There you go.

Jacob Kladinski. Maybe someone's like like they're like we maybe no one noticed let's put it back yeah let's see i just put it you couldn't do anything you know it's like one of those things they someone's like starts shaving or cutting and they get too far then they're like well i guess i gotta shave and they start doing it next thing you know you're like just make up a fake one dude like no one knows do you know who israel bizzo is he goes no exactly jacob kludzinski chilla kludzinski kludzinski jacob kludzinski kind of like that name i work in the appeal what is that appellate appellate i work in the appellate practice of a law firm in Washington, D.C.

Someone said that to me. Would you know what that means? I know what the appellate courts are. It's for appeals. That's what the word means. I like how you emphasize D.C. Yeah, I would be like oh man what's dc like that's what i would say out of all that oh dc is one of my favorite cities i go to that's exactly

what i would say to him never talk about his law firm ever again outside of that i would there'd be no it would just be moved on part of my job is to coordinate and file briefs at the supreme court our office is just a short distance from the court, so I often listen to the podcast to and from filings. You can officially say the Supreme Court episode of the Nate Land podcast has been played at the actual Supreme Court. I like that. That is amazing. He would have to tell me about that.

Where you live in Washington? D.C. doesn't matter, Nate. I'm here to tell you something that you are going to want to. Oh, want it oh okay and then i was like yeah i'm glad you told me that uh that's cool man we're basically judge supreme court judges right we're not far that's all it takes heartbeat away. By the way, the biggest opera singer I can find is Boris Gondunov at the Metropolitan Opera. He's a Finnish bassist. He's a bass singer. Six foot seven, 260.

So the fact that this other person, Pergelum, is six foot nine and a tenor. Yeah. Strong case for the the tenor. Yeah. Strong case for the tallest tenor, because I can't find anybody else taller. Strong case. Tenor's a higher voice. It's a higher voice. So bass is like, yeah, there's probably a bunch of them. There's going to be bigger guys that are going to sing lower.

I mean, just, yeah. That's a section that they got to spread them out a little bit, the bassist section. Do they have to? A little elbow room? A little elbow room. Oh, you need a little more the basis section do they have to a little little elbow room a little elbow room you need a little more room for sure you're like uh do you guys been sitting on the actual floor and they're like why because there's no reason i think it's fun to have you guys down front on the base he goes all right that seems kind of rude he goes it's not crazy i don't we just don't want you up at the top.

I think, yeah, he's got a, Perjelum's got an amazing shot at this. Yeah. To ever be involved in opera. But, you know, we will find out. Ninja and Samurai comments. Ezra Lerner. Perhaps I have become too PC,

but when I initially saw the title, I was a little worried that the Ninja Samurai episode would be disrespectful to Japanese culture. I am happy to report, however, that there was nowhere near enough information presented about samurai or ninjas for someone to say something insensitive, even if they wanted to. I learned more about ninjas in the Magic Treehouse book I read in elementary school,

and yet I love the episode. I'm thrilled to have a podcast I can come to when my brain needs to cool off. There you go. We're too dumb to get insensitive. Yeah, there wasn't an opportunity for me to say something bad about them. When your brain needs to cool off, I like that. That's a good way. That's a good way to say it. Your brain working too your brain needs to cool off, I like that. That's a good way.

That's a good way to say it. Your brain working too hard out there in the real world? Yeah. Come wind down with Nate Land. How you doing? Welcome to the wind down part of your day as they go. Just zone out. We're basically like one of those tanks people lay in,

floating that water. What is that? A sensory deprivation tank, yeah. We're like that. We're that of podcasts, just float off in the dead sea. We're just basically, we're the dead sea of podcasts. Isn't that the one where people float? That's where we are.

We're the dead sea of podcasts, Just like kind of just felt calm. Matt Greenwalt, how often are you not finishing a bowl of cereal that you would even need a garbage disposal, let alone a toilet? I've never not finished one, two, or three bowls of cereal in one sitting. Flushing cereal is mind-boggling well it's hard to get it down when you know the outcome is you gotta flush it in the toilet so i would have trouble with that i think that would make me sick to my stomach and then i couldn't always get it all down or you know if you're a kid yes right now uh right now what was his name?

Matt. Matt. Matt Greenwald. Yeah. Right now, Matt, I've never not eaten a full bowl of cereal. But as a 10-year-old, there's probably millions of times I don't want to eat. I'm just like, okay, I got to go. Bye.

I'm trying to get out of there before I have to flush it. Dylan King. Hello, folks. I heard Nate on a Geico ad, and at first I couldn't pinpoint the voice, but then he started reading like how he does on the pod, and I smiled. Yes, I am on a Geico ad. A couple of radio ads, right? Yeah.

We went in. I got asked to do it. This comic I knew a long time ago roger hills uh he's a great dude very funny like and he wrote it with me in mind and then so we did i was in salt lake uh i did it when we were in when i did the shows in salt lake city and one night before the shows we had a i just went to like a recording booth place and just kind of ran through it and did all of them yeah it's kind of it was fun it's neat like that stuff's neat it's like just a lot of people have hit me up and like it's like i haven't

heard it yet actually on the radio damn either uh but that's cool that's awesome man sydney horn my wife kaylee texted me a trailer for a new game called aperture desk job like i can't say and asked does this sound like like Nate to our amusement? It turned out you weren't just a voice from the trailer, but the main character throughout the game. We just finished playing it, and it was great. You were hilarious as Grady the... Gary...

No, it's Grady. As Grady the Robot. Thank you. Yeah, there's another one I did. That was very cool. I was... This kind of stuff is like very exciting what is that so it's a steam deck it's basically uh this video game that they're

making like their nintendo switch they're making their steam deck is making their version of kind of that and they and the people that did i think they did half life and they did a bunch of valve they did half life a bunch of big games like that. And this game was actually very big. So I'm the voice of the robot. That's you right there. That's me right there. Yep.

And then it was cool. Does it play? I don't even play it. I can find the video. These are just screenshots. There you go. That's a pretty good idea. And then...

Where's the... Yeah, I'll pull up the video all right yeah yeah and this is a ketchup episode but let's let's look into it as we uh just yeah all right uh that's my bad i should yeah yeah i mean that's's alright here you are Nate once this loads let's do introductions later you should really already be it's like you're doing the exact same thing you just did to us

you are a product inspector that is your inspection desk there in front of you you will be inspecting uh yeah that's so cool that's good uh yeah it's awesome it's neat i mean that's the stuff that i always want to do it's like that you know you're getting like a disney movie like it's like that i love that stuff that's that was so cool and then when i saw it when it came out and it was like

wow this is crazy dude i have not played the finish i haven't played the game yet i think they're sending me one but uh yeah it's crazy i mean you know i don't know what they do they make a new one or i don't know i'd love to be a part of it more it was very cool uh that stuff is like you just go in there and do it they say the guys that uh was in there with me that did it they they're just so good. And so they're very supportive. And let me say something. They're like, that's so great.

Do it. Now say it like this. It was just cool. Very fun. Spencer Day. I would love to hear Nate describe the plot and main characters of well-known films he's never seen. His description of Harry Potter and dances with wolves had me dying. I posted a video of you last week talking about how you've never seen

Dance with Wolves and then a previous episode where you talked about your favorite scene from Dance with Wolves. How y'all watched it over and over. Well, so I think we just watched that scene. I didn't watch the whole movie. Oh, okay, okay.

But I saw that scene where he's like, he's like, what is that? What is that? Put that in your book. So I remember just watched that scene. I didn't watch the whole movie. Oh, okay, okay. But I saw that scene where he's like, what is that? What is that? Put that in your book. So I remember just seeing that as a kid. I didn't watch the movie. And I don't remember anything. So I don't know.

I would watch it, and the only thing I would remember is that scene. Justin was absolutely right. It is so similar to Last Samurai. It's both Civil War soldier disillusioned and then meets this other culture. At first,

it doesn't like them or doesn't know and then becomes one, basically. Yeah. It's so similar, the plots.

But one is Kevin Costner, one is Tom Cruise. Yeah. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know

what's another movie that's... that you could do a description of that you haven't seen yeah shawshank redemption yeah i don't even know uh i know they're in a prison right yeah i've seen a picture so it's guys that are in a prison it's a good start yeah it's guys in a prison yeah what happens there uh someone needs redemption and is his i guess his name is shawshank mr shake johnny shawshank that's morgan freeman's character his wife wants to get him out. And then he's been wrongfully accused. That's part of it, yeah.

And then the other guy that's in it that's pretty famous is like, well, let's get him out. I don't even know. I don't know what any of it is. You're not super far off, to be honest with you. Okay. I need to watch it, so don't tell me. Okay.

I see it all the time. Every time I see it, I go, it's like a whole thing it is a whole thing and then you're like so i got to be in the right like kind of whole thing mood you can't be tuning in and out it can't be secondary no no i would say at this point there's no way it can live up to your expectations that's just not true it will for sure i bet i could like it you know that one no country for old men i didn't see till very late and that's one that you told me about that i'll watch i watched some of it again last night i did too when i was feeding uh eleanor it was only like 1 a.m and yeah and who's eleanor

sorry i'm getting ahead of myself oh uh yeah it's uh it's great yeah it's great and then that other one you told me about the blood where there'll be blood or something. There will be blood. There will be blood. I think you told me about that. Hell or High Water? Yeah, I've only watched that once. It's some reason I don't want to go back to it.

And I think I want to, then I'm like, I don't know. Yeah, it's a whole thing. It's a whole thing. If something feels a whole thing to me. But there will be blood. It's like Daniel Day-Lewis is like, I just can watch him. He's unreal in that movie. just so like intriguing to watch and you're just like i you know i like hearing him i like it's uh i didn't watch lincoln and he's i should probably watch lincoln because he's in that

and like i like he's just so good that you're like i could watch this guy forever now last week you were kind of making fund of method actors. Yeah. I think you called them character actors, but you meant method X, right? And he's the ultimate. So he probably wouldn't be a fun hang,

but. I think he would be out of all of that kind of world. I think he's got to be one of the better. Cause he just ducks out. Like he does. It's a dude that comes in and does his job. And then I don't know where he lives. Like, I think he has a pretty much normal life outside of that he's the greatest actor maybe of all time.

Yeah. And so he just seems crazy. Jared Leto is, I like 32nd of Mars. Enjoyed that song. One song. And I listen to that a lot. But, like, and I get, get like he's great too but then he's also like kind of mixed in in the hollywood kind of world so i'd almost be like at least like if

you're gonna do it then go do it i don't want to hang out with you and then you're like after four months you're like yo what's up man good to see you and you're like no dude you made me real weird for that whole thing and now you're gonna just act like we can just go sit and watch a UFC event together. Yeah, yeah. And then know that I know that when you're filming a movie, I can't even call you for six months because you're going to be like, hello? And answer it real weird and talk something. And I got to be like, do you want to go when the movie's over? McGregor's fighting.

Would you like to go? I guess I would like to go to the, you know, and you're like, all right, dude, I can't. Did you ever see the movie My Left Foot with Daniel Day-Lewis? About a guy with gout? I don't think it's gout. But it's about a guy who only has control of one foot, right? Yeah. And I've read stories about when he was preparing for that role, he would live like that with only his left foot in the wheelchair.

See, I think I know I'm contradicting myself. I guess there's the only two I know. But I think Daniel Dulu, you have to read about that. I'm sure it's like he's preparing for his work and he does it. I wouldn't think he would be a bother. Is there stories of him being a crazy person? I don't think he's a bad. I know when I don't, is there stories of him being a crazy person? Like, I don't think he's a bad, when I know when he would go eat, there was him wearing the Lincoln stuff and he would wear it.

But it's like, but he's got to go eat. But I don't think he was like, I think people respect it. Like, it's like, it's, you know, it's like being around Michael Jordan where you'd be like, yeah, that is intense. You're like, well, at least I'm getting the greatest thing ever out of it. Right. And so I understand it because you're like- I think Jim Carrey did that with Andy Kaufman.

Yeah. I think he was like a problem because he was Andy Kaufman all the time. He wouldn't turn it off. Yeah, and was just difficult to work with. And I could see getting, you have to get into it. I understand the commitment to it. I get it. It's like, just like i understand the commitment to it i get it it's

like just like i said just do it you know just be like i'm i kind of need my own like if i want to make this it might this comes back to me i think people just should say stuff i just think what's the nicest way i can do this i'm not against doing it it's like but what's the nicest way i can do it to not bother the people that i don't you know i, I don't, they shouldn't have to, when you go walk around. You know, when you see this stuff, like even now, like I've seen some of this world, it's like, you feel like the guys that work at all this stuff, they're all very like, when you walk up, they're like, oh, hey, what do you need? You know, and you feel like they feel very like, they get just like told, don't be a bother to any of the artists and all this stuff. they get just like told don't be a bother to any of the artists and all this stuff and you're like it's like more like you know you're like i don't want to that guy that guy i'm that guy yeah i just got very lucky with this that this worked out but i mean i would have done his job like i don't

and so you want to be like no dude get what you know they help you when they want to help you but then you're also like i mean i want to sit and talk with you too like it's not that big of a so i could call you? You can. Yeah, we call. Somebody posted, I think it was Matt Oregon posted that Lawrence Olivier did a role with Dustin Hoffman. Dustin Hoffman stayed up for three nights straight to get ready for the role because he was playing a drug addict or something. Yeah.

And he shows up on set. He hadn't slept in three days. And Lawrence Olivier said, have you ever tried a drug addict or something. Yeah. And he shows up on set. He hadn't slept in three days. And Laurence Olivier said, have you ever tried acting? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's funny. Yeah. Basically saying, what's the point of that?

Just act. Just act. That's very funny. Yeah. Yeah. If you're playing some weird thing, I understand the idea of commitment. I think about when working out. Like, if you go work out and you don't want to work out,

if you go into it going, I don't want to do this. It's very hard. But if you go into it, when you see those guys work out and it's like, like, it's like they got like their, their energy when they walk in there is like a gorilla. And they're just like, I'm here to get like, and I think you work out better that way. So I under, I understand the reasoning behind it. It's it's like, well well what's the solution to be like i don't want to tell you you can't do that but also what's the solution to be like how do you not be a problem for like everybody else you know what i mean yeah so your solution was just put them all in a cage but my solution is just let them be in one part and be like

these movie stars get whatever they want. And I'm sure they do, but you're like, yeah, just like we've created, I want a world created over here. And then Jared Leto, you know, he's like one of those bulls that they have in that cage. And the guy's in the middle and you're like, I don't know what to do. And you're like, then you're doing it. So like do that and then put them back in that.

Then be like, let me go back. This is what I have to do. At least keep me. You're like, I'm going to be a knight. You're like is this is what i have to do at least keep me like you're like i'm gonna be a night you know you're like dude i'm gonna be a nightmare but the only way for this to be good is for me to be a nightmare so i i have people that know how to deal with me when i'm this kind of way yeah so let me just be in my world over here i know i don't want to be i would even maybe go meet everybody before and just like, hey, I am a normal guy. Like, you know, this is just how I do it. I really appreciate it.

Like, it's like just have, you know, just some humbleness about it. And then be, but then maybe he does. I don't know if he doesn't. Yeah. When I was on set for my TV show, I didn't want to be talked to. And you remember I was in that cage and I was like, just let me stay in between takes because I was in the zone because you were a method actor that's right yeah that's good you played a serial killer yeah yeah i heard you got a look at the i did yeah

yeah it's great did you really you got a look at the show yeah how's it look it looks good awesome dude yeah greg i hung out with greg uh uh redding california and so I hung out with Greg in Redding, California. And so we hung out, and then he was telling me about it and stuff, and he showed me just the clips of y'all and stuff like that. Oh, that's awesome. But I read the script. It was cool to see it with the script just because I read the script when he wrote it before it got sold, and I was like, this is so good.

Yeah. And then I read the pilot and then so it's neat to see it and then be like i mean he's just like i can't wait to see it man he's like a guy that's like a he's daniel day lewis type like this dude uh he's a problem and no but he's a very he would never he'd be mortified me even saying this but he's another level of like this dude's really like a one like unreal talent uh-huh and but like the most i mean he does stuff where you're like i mean i would be like just take a flight he's like I'll just drive 14 hours you're like I'm not even saying fly private

I'm saying like I don't know dude go fly southwest or like just be normal and make it easy I'll just drive 15 hours I told you he let me use his trailer when I was you know he's the best dude he's the best dude

and he's so good. All right, Elizabeth, if you're thinking of doors versus wheels, then you have to consider all doors like kitchen cabinets, fridge doors, appliance doors, dollhouse doors, et cetera. Fine. You're still fine with it? Yeah, that's all part of it. That's all part of it.

We'll count all those as doors. I still fine with it. Yeah, that's all part of it. That's all part of it. We'll count all those as doors. I still think wheels wins. I think you're going to spend a lot of time arguing about wheels more than doors. So I think I would spend a lot of time going like, come on, man, that's a wheel. It moves in a wheel. And you're like, okay. Because when I said the other doors, I go, what about these cabinets? These doors?

And you go, all right, that's fine. Just make those doors. Yeah, count those. Yeah, you said it like the same way I'm saying about wheels. You're like, yeah, yeah, I'll count that. We have a, you know. Count them all. All right.

There's no way to find, is there a real answer to it? I think the fact that Lego makes 100 million wheels a year has to make them a favorite. Has to make wheels a favorite. Is there a way to get to the... No, that's kind of the fun of it is that it's just a thought experiment. There's no real answer. What if you guys actually put this effort towards jobs and creating stuff? You think that would be...

What if you did that? You know what I mean? There's no answer to it. So what's the point of even talking about it? It'd be a lot less fun. It's fun to- How much do y'all not have to do that you like to- Did you come up with this?

No, he's talking like I've been a group that came up. Yeah. Like that you like to- Friendship class? You debate this and then you're like, yeah. Yeah. You debate something that can't be solved. What was the other one that you did that you said earlier? Joey Chestnut versus Usain Bolt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You debate something that can't be solved.

What was the other one that you did that you said earlier? Joey Chestnut versus Usain Bolt. Yeah, yeah. That one's like- That's a fun one. That's a fun one, but it doesn't lead into just mindlessly. I just look into the first one that you're like, well, a nut is a technically a wheel. You can wheel it. And then you're like, all right, dude, I can't.

You're just throwing stuff out of my out of everything you're like my aunt my aunt's got a fake knee there's a will in there that and i'm like oh yeah so she's in the house and you're like yeah she lives downstairs uh uh nick bronwell wills versus cars might be a close race if you kept it domestic but wills win by a landslide. When you remember our friend, the shopping cart, think of how many shopping carts are in every one store. Think how many doors are in every store.

How many shopping carts can there be? Or hotels. A hundred? Hotels is where the doors are. Yeah, but there's more wheels in a hotel than doors. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like that there's an end to this.

Like, there's not like a- That there's not an end? Yeah, there's not like a really nowhere to go. It's like, I would want the clarification of what a wheel and a door is. So if you start picking apart wheels, then it's kind of like, all right, now I've got to choose cabinets. I mean, I'm thinking of like a door and like a uh tire wheels what i was thinking and maybe shopping cart wheels i guess you could do but it's like wheels that you are that move something and they're rolling office chair wheels you count those i guess yeah it's a

tough one and then it's like you're just now you're down a spiral then i'm already out. Robbie Amrin. A-M-R-E-I-N. ISIS isn't palindromic, Aaron, but luckily I still love you. That was a word I was real excited to use, and then I realized right away. You ever say something wrong, and then you realize it, but it's too late to correct it? No. So you just... Never admit defeat.

Yeah. Just move on. Okay. I don't know what you're talking about. So is a palindrome a word that's spelled the same... Spelled like race car. It's like spelled the same forward and backwards. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Dimitri Martin has the world record for longest palindrome. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So ISIS, you said ISIS was? I said it's palindromic yeah and it's not i mean it's clearly not cc yeah sissy it's the opposite of what they want to be it's actually an insult you know you call y'all backwards you'd be in a group of them and then they're like isis you

know you're palindromic and he goes oh what's that? It spells name backwards. And he goes, what does it mean? You go, sissy. Then you're just dead immediately. Before we get into Grammys and move on, let's read these ads. And always we say thank you guys for supporting this. This does support us and supports, you know, the future of where we're going with Nate Land and stuff like that. And this is the start, and you guys are a part of it welcome back everybody it also does this

this is the grammy part is my here's my uh i don't know if you can see it close. It's the, they give you a nominee medal. And so I got this sent to me a couple weeks ago. Nice. So I will have always have this. That's awesome, man. Grammy nominee. And what do they tell you?

I mean, that's a line that's, you're going to be introduced that way forever. Grammy. For the rest of my life. Yeah. I'm a Grammy nominee. Grammy nominated comedian. You look like Kramer with his motorcycle helmet. I'll be honest, wearing this helmet when I did this. Well, let's go ahead and bring my wife in, Laura Bargetzi.

All right. First time on the long-time. No, I want to say the opposite. First-time caller, long-time listener. No, no. I always looked at it the other way. I always want to call into a place and go, first-time listener, long-time caller. The opposite.

You just called in. So, yeah, this is the helmet I wore. Balled it at Blizzard's in Charleston, West Virginia. I'm sorry. I didn't want to get ahead of you. This was all your idea. So this was my idea. So this was my idea.

So wearing the helmet was... So they were going to do... I might take it off because I can't. No, please leave it off. Leave it on? I think it's great. Yeah. So this was my idea. I would say take it off.

Well, it's already off. Okay. So... And I feel protected. It's already on. So. And I feel protected. I think this is, you're supposed to take this off, but I think it looks cool. I don't be bothered. I'm a Grammy nominee now, dude.

I can't even go out in public, so I'll wear this. I'll be honest with you, wearing this, I think if I'm not a comedian, I could wear this on the red carpet and they would just be like, oh, yeah, that's what someone's doing. He's making a statement. I mean, there's like, yeah, I would fit in. If I wore this helmet on the red carpet, I would have been like, I don't know if they would have talked about me.

There's so many other people. They would have never mentioned it. They would have been like, oh, that one guy wore a helmet. They're like, I mean, how many helmets do people wear every year to the grammys 30 40 so we did uh so it was my idea so uh uh i saw so when when they uh presented all this stuff and uh they i was in they i got sent like the script of like what they're going to say. I did a pre-ceremony, my award, mainly all the awards are done on the, the, the pre-ceremony. Uh, there's only like 10 that they do on the other one. And so sometimes comedy gets into the pre, the real one.

And sometimes it doesn't. And it's like, I think it was in like the last three years and this was the year that it wasn't. I think it was in like the last three years and this was the year that it wasn't. So they, I get the thing and they were going to, and LeVar, what's the name? Burton.

Yeah. LeVar Burton. He had, he had that, they read in his script to say like, this next presenter is a comedian. And so he had that, keep your hands in,

you know, making a little fun, silly joke about that. So he said that I always, I started thinking a little fun, silly joke about that. So he said that. I started thinking about, well, what can I do? And I was worried. At first, I thought I could walk out with security or something or do something kind of like that.

But it's like it needs to be simple. It needs to be silly. This is not the most original I get thing in the world or whatever. It's like I know all of that, but I know I'm also the first comedian to present since that happened that last Sunday. And so I know everybody's like, well, I'm tired. This is social media. I don't think it's everybody else. Social media is its own people.

But it's like social media, the kind of world's like, well, I'm tired of talking about it. You're like, well, obviously, dude, people still have, this is the second award show. So it can't be like you're tired of talking to your friends about it. This award show has to somewhat address this. And, you know, as I've said the week before, I'm a big Chris, you know, I'm on Chris Rock's side, as I think most people are.

And I don't want to just go out and like trash Will Smith or something. And then so I was like, oh, yeah, I'll just walk out wearing this. And then we told the Grammys, and they were very cool. They were like, look, we'll let you do whatever you want to go do. They're like, could be a risk, but you can go do it. So when he brought me up, I mean, he was getting laughs with that thing. And when I walked out, it did good. I mean, we're in this room.

So that room is like 2,500 people're in this room so that room is like 2500 people are in this room during most of the day we're in another separate room doing this but but i when i went up it was like basically at the end like the last like probably like 12 awards or something so now the room is much much i mean it's it's like a quarter full, if that. And so if there's 2,500 people there, I think it would have been a big laugh. But it got a pretty big laugh. But I mean, there's, I mean, I don't even know, 200 people in there maybe? Like towards the end. Because now the Grammys, the doors are open.

It's all kind of, everybody's kind of switching, going over there. And the only people there are really the people that are still being nominated. The Grammy, it's very cool. They've seen us behind the scenes and see how they run it so i came up with this idea i sent it to uh you know you have a publicist my publicist rob greenwald he's a great dude he was with us the whole time and uh i said to him and he sends it to the grammys and then they're like all right you can you know do it rob's like i think it's funny rob was like we were getting other opinions about other people to be like is this stupid is it like am i dumb for doing this and then i was like yeah it's just an easy you know it's like just a easy joke i wanted something to be stupid something to be

silly that's what this was i thought of i wasn't i'm not making a statement it's like everything that i do you like i'm just being you know I made fun of like this would just, the point of it, it's like, why would I wear this helmet is because it's stupid. And so why would I wear it? Like I said, it just highlights where you would hit me. It would do nothing. It protects my hair. And so it's, that was a fun part of it.

And I truly believe everybody's taking it like that. They took it as fun. I thought what Trevor Noah said was like, I truly believe everybody's taking it like that. They took it as fun. Right. I thought what Trevor Noah said was like, we will keep everybody's mouth, was perfect. Trevor Noah, I thought, did unreal at hosting. What did he say? He just said like, we're going to get out awards.

This is going to be a concert with just awards given out in the middle. And we're going to give out awards. We're going to listen to singers. We're going to keep everybody's names out of our mouths. And that got a big laugh. And then whatever. And then Questlove said something, too, when he went up. And he said, like, just keep 500 feet away from me.

But it was like, I thought it was like, it just ended up being perfect. That you're like, oh, the Grammys did it great. Where it's kind of like putting a button on it, being like, let's move on. And they just, everybody knows. Everybody laughed with Trevor Noah. Trevor Noah is, I've hung out with him a couple times. One of the nicer dudes you could ever meet. I mean, a great person.

Very, very friendly. And I know if people could not like, you know, the political stuff, whether you like it, you're on his side or not on his side. But overall, I can just tell you, he's a great a great great guy and i think he really showed it uh hosting it we were watching and it was like just pleasant it was like nice and fun and uh he just kept it moving and stuff like that so uh yeah i think it was it ended up working out it worked out it was great the way the audience the shots of people in the audience. Yeah.

I mean, it was really. Laughing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I am going to tell you, it's hard for me to hear, but. Kept your hair nice. Uh-huh. It did protect your hair.

It did. Yeah. Yeah, a little bit. So where were you? Where were you, Laura, when all that was going on they had like a backstage area so i was just sitting from like 12 to what time we were there so 11 this is me and lara that's us at the grammys uh do you have that other picture of on the red carpet that says before oh yeah oh yeah there's a good one we could that. What's the other one that's got...

No, on the... Yeah. Where's the one with the red carpet? Is it... People asked me because they were like, they wanted pictures of her. So, yeah. The sun was in my eyes. That was...

I mean, I went out early and the sun was like... Some I could make it, some I couldn't. That other one before that, I... Yeah, some i couldn't that other one before that i the other one yeah that was a good that's a good picture uh it was just kind of sunny and i was like trying to do it uh i don't know how to smile either new headshot yeah there it is i have no idea how to smile but uh amber lee uh lehman lehmanman she's she was our stylist that got us this kind of thing

people always ask us she helps me with a lot of my clothes I know I'm not trying to talk about stylists and all this stuff but when you go do

all these shows it's like you know you try to wear something that's like kind of not insane right

who are you wearing I don't know and who are you wearing Laura we don't know we don't know we're not the yeah

it's just two kids from aphelios so we don't know what we're wearing joseph a bank yeah uh yeah just yeah it'd been great just to be you know uh what are you wearing dillard's i did say that and all my friends said no do not go to dillard's. I did say that and all my friends said, no, do not go to Dillard's and get your dress. Target. So, yeah,

Laura looked unbelievable. I'm a big fan of her hair like this. Yeah, Laura, you look great. She was nervous about it, but I loved your hair like that.

Thank you. And then, yeah, Laura looked awesome. She had to walk around those. Yes. Yeah, what was her name?

She was great. Genevieve. Yeah. From Los Angeles. And then she was awesome and so they. Yes. Yeah, what was her name? She was great. Genevieve. Yeah. From Los Angeles. And then she was awesome. And so they came. I mean, it was the whole Hollywood experience. And then so we go.

So we had to. I was in Charleston, West Virginia the night before. It's so funny to go. And it's like doing a show with those people. It's so awesome. And you're like, these are the people I want to hang out with. And then you go to Vegas and you're like, it's the complete opposite. And then we're going to Poughkeepsie this week and Buffalo and Syracuse.

But it's, you know, so it's like, here's a little bit of like, uncomfortableness, it's cool to see all this stuff. And then a little bit of like, I don't know, you're like, I like my buddies. And you're like, you know, if I had a, you know, I mean, it's me and her there, but if like we had like a group with us, that's our buddies. And then you're like, oh yeah, that would be awesome. And Rich Day was there, but he was sitting somewhere else.

And there, so we, so we had to get up at 8 a.m., right? 7.45 or something. And so 8 a.m. to 10 a.m. was getting ready.m to 10 a.m was getting ready so i had eric called glam oh glam and yeah and then so eric who's my barber trainer uh eric uh eric miller he went and did he came with us and so he i need i he did my i didn't need it he cut my hair and did my beard and stuff like that and then she sat over there and did my beard and stuff like that. And then she sat over there and did all her hair stuff and makeup and all that stuff. And then so we got ready from like 8.

We went to the car like 10.30. And Netflix was cool. We had a car that just kind of – because you just like – you ain't ordering Uber afterward. Like it's kind of a whole thing. Right. And it's a zoo. So it's like you just kind of need it. So Netflix was cool. And so we get get there we had to do a covid test negative uh we did a covid test we had to do one

before that too they changed their mind and then they changed their mind yeah it's yeah and so they had the day of like we're gonna do them again you're like all right i don't you know and so uh we did that we got there like we left the hotel at 10 30 got there uh and then i did the run through i walked on stage i had the helmet they said i'm gonna say this and you know and the added the line of it looks like my face is just open you can hit whatever that wasn't in the oh i wrote a little bit of a longer thing and they were like just say they require comedians to wear these now and so i was like all right so they just cut it down like you don't need all the other stuff and then uh and then i was like if it gets a laugh i will i'll you know and it got a it got a laugh that i was like oh and then i'll just say like yeah you just highlights

my face and then i said all right this is stupid and silly like'll just say, like, oh, you just highlighted my face. And then I said, all right, this is stupid and silly. Because it's like I wanted to be like, all right, this is not. We're just having fun. I was just trying to make a joke. Like, I get. It's funny. You see people. We'd see some.

I mean, it ended up being everywhere, which is kind of cool. Like, it was, I mean, it was like they, you know, it was on debt. Like, I mean, it's like that picture, people on debt, people in Australia, like everybody was sending it on all this news cycle of like, comedian wears a helmet. A lot of them are saying my name, which is nice. Some say comedian, and some are saying my name. And so you're, you know, it's at least, you can see, I saw someone, and I won't say who, uh,

but they, uh, later on in the night and they, uh, I went up to him, never, I haven't met him yet. And,

uh, he got introduced and he's like, Oh, Hey, I'm Nate, whatever. And they go, uh,

they go, Oh yeah. Uh, you wore that helmet. I go, yeah. And they turned away from me. I don't want to say who it is,

but I'm not a fan anymore. And it was very funny, though, just to be like, oh, did you wear that helmet? I'm also nominated for the Grammy. No, don't mention any of that stuff. Was it Shea? Yeah, it was Shea.

Was he there? No, no, no. They've won, and theirs was on that pre-thing, so I think some can make it, some can't. Brother Osborne was there on that pre thing. So I think some can make it, some can't. Brother Osborne was there. I know them.

And like, uh, so I was there, I saw them when they won and, uh, all that. Uh, and so it was, uh, the, yeah, it's, and we just kind of sit backstage. You kind of watch it and there's enough going on that. It's kind of fun to watch. I mean, when you're there in that live ceremony, we were there from 11 to like you know we were hoping to maybe go back like being able to like have some pockets where we could leave and go to a room or whatever but they don't you know in some of this there's a lot of accepting on the behalf because not everybody makes it so there it's like the these ward for the part i was on they're like it can go super quick it can go super fast like

it's probably going to be somewhere in the middle, but we don't know because even by the time you get to the wards where it's like the guy before me, uh, which I think was Jimmy Allen, right? Jimmy Allen, Jimmy Allen that did,

I mean, I think almost all his, if not, yeah, where they weren't there. So like his part was, and he was very funny. He was like,

he was very funny with all that stuff. And then, uh, so all his stuff was like super quick. And then, so then when I went up there, I wore the helmet, got a laugh, whatever. I took it off. You know, you don't want to, I don't want to take away these people's moment and like wearing a stupid helmet.

The whole time. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. The reward. I don't mind if you wear a helmet. If I win, you can wear, you can do whatever you want but you're like these are this is a special thing

you know and it was like the classical music category so they're pretty serious I would imagine they're very serious and rightfully so so I took it off I said it and then so then I know

I mean they was you know I got some mean, there was, you know, I got some names. Like, it was like. You got some tough ones. So they went, we went through it at the beginning too. This person like helped me like kind of pronounce the names and how to say them and stuff like that. She was awesome. Very, very nice. And, but yeah, the classical group is a tough one to get.

Well, Jimmy Allen softened the ground for you a little bit. He was giving up on some names, too. He was like, I can't pronounce it. He just showed an envelope. Yeah, he asked somebody for help. Oh, he did? Yeah. Oh, he just showed it.

He goes, this person won. And then he showed it to someone, and they said their name, and they came up. Oh. Yeah, it's tough it's like you know and it was like i don't i just i was like i don't want to just do a like uh whatever this name like or feel this kind of like you're blowing this person off and yeah it's like i mean i didn't win a grammy and they did so like i thought you did a great job i mean honestly to like get i looked at the names as you were calling them out, and I was like, I don't know how to say that. I would just go. I knew if I could slow down, so I go slow.

And I don't think the title was in there. Maybe it was. So what I would do is you're hoping when I was up there, I was realizing that once the first name was said, a lot of times the person would stand up and start cheering. So then you can kind of just kind of trail off. And so some of them, I was kind of doing that where it was like,

I would say the first name and give it a beat to try to see if they stand up and cheer so I could trail off. But then a couple of them, they weren't there. And so I'm like, I say the name and I go, and then I just keep reading more of the name. And then you're,

I'm like, all right, this didn't work like I thought it was. And so you would do a mix of both of that. But luckily, there was a few people that were there. One group that won, she was like, oh, I love the helmet thing. She was very nice. I don't know if anybody saw it.

There was a lady in a blue dress that walked up and said something. And my mom, you might have wondered, too. My mom wondered. She was like, what'd she say? And I was like, oh, she said she liked the helmet thing. And then when the models came up, it's crazy. I'm trying to talk to them. And I think as a comedian, you just don't know how to not talk to someone.

You're like, so what's up? I'm just asking them stuff, and they're like, don't talk to me. They've been doing this for four hours. And everybody's kind of. they've been doing this for four hours yeah and they're you know everybody's kind of and but so when i got the envelope we turned and look i was standing on my wrong mark they have a mark of where you're supposed to stand one says model once one says the presenter and i mean i would just be on a mix of both not on one at all like i mean i was just like there is towards the end i finally was like oh yeah i gotta stay on this side.

They would always go to their mark. And I'm not stood to the left of them. Sometimes not supposed to be there. Like there's, it's a very simple kind of just go stand here. And then I, you know, I think I'm in the way of them seeing the TV and I'm not, I'm trying to like bend down. So I would, but when I got the envelope, uh, I would open it. And so I could like, I could open it and I would just look at the name, I would open it.

And so I could open it, and I would just look at the name real fast of who won. So I would – Try to practice in your mind. Just – because you hear the person saying it. The video is saying the names. Yeah, yeah. So it's like if I could get it – I mean, I was like – sometimes I would go meet the model.

They weren't even to their thing yet. And I would go kind of run and meet them and just go back just because I'm like, I got to get this envelope open because I can't. You know, I might miss the first two names. Sometimes I would read it and I was like, oh, that's going to be a tough one. And I stood there waiting for it and it never came. And I realized I didn't hear the first two. And I was like, oh, so this is one of the first two. And I didn't hear it. And I'm like, oh, I was like oh so this is one of the first two and I didn't hear it and I'm like

oh I was like I'm not focusing and so then I just go to the this is all in my mind I'm like dadgummit why didn't you listen to that first name and then I go and just kind of say it and like uh but overall I think it it was like it was like good and it was you know it's like you go through the names and stuff but it was it was awesome and so uh after that we went into the red carpet uh which uh which i mean muscles for these comments are they answering no okay uh uh i was gonna say i texted brian during it i go how crazy is it what a weird moment nate just accepted a gram on behalf of Yo-Yo Ma. Yeah. Think about just that. Yeah.

It's crazy. He's proud to accept it. We did a lot, me and Yo-Yo Ma. And Emanuel Axe. There was one group, an opera group, I think, that came up. And they were very colorful. Yeah. And you're like, I think you said something like, look at this.

And then they came up there's very tall it could have been per jellum for a lot of them and they were very excited uh to be up there but yeah you did a great job handing out the awards yeah you're like look at you know all right it's a lot of my like little dumb sayings that you're gonna look at this all right here we go it's happening like i'm just saying you're kind of weirdly saying all this kind of stuff uh well one observation about the crowd like you said it started out really big it's like a unless you have kids that do dance recitals you won't get it but it's like a kid's dance recital once your child dances people start to file out so let's open open mic we yes yeah exactly so it's

like once the their category was told and whoever won the whole category would leave and so the room was getting emptier and emptier by the moment so all that was left at the very end was the whole rock category and then your category john patista was still there because he was up for something oh i didn't see't see him. Yeah, yeah. It was kind of weird. Like, I saw, because I could see him, obviously. I mean, he won everything. But this one award. But it was like, so I would look at the name before, because I'm trying to make sure I can say him.

And he's nominated for award, and I can see him there. And then he's, like, looking and watching. And then I look at it, and, like, he didn't win. You don't want to look back up at him no it was crazy like it's kind of weird like his friends were like you know they're making like a video and i'm already like you're not gonna win like it's i mean even if it's five seconds you're you really don't know until you open that envelope and so i was trying to i don't know if you're i guess guess it's okay I'm saying this, but I mean, I would open it.

No one saw it. I did it very, I just was trying to make sure. I just want to do my best at giving these people the respect that they deserve. But it was kind of crazy to be like, I know who he is. And then, so then to look and see him and it's like, is he going to win? He's winning everything. And just, I have the moment of going like, oh, you're not going to. He cleaned up at the nighttime show.

All right. He won album of the year. He had the best speech of the night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He won. Yeah. He crushed it. Yeah.

He had a very big night. but it was just kind of crazy. Like, because I don't know who the other ones really are to look at him, but I could see him, and there's not that many people left. And you're like, you know, it's like, I mean, look, I didn't win. Like, so the person that could open my mouth, they know I'm not going to win. And, you know, and we don't win. It is, I had an amazing, we had an amazing time. And, you know, we don't win it is i had an amazing we had an amazing time uh and uh you know it does hurt not winning i mean you're you try not to let it let yourself get to

thinking that you can win you really really do but in your head you're like i can't believe i'm even here right right and then uh you know there's a mix of like well i'm the only comment presenting on this thing you like do they do that because they're i truly don't think that they don't know there's it's people always they say that i they don't there it is you know because my even my publicist was like he thought there was like a system to be like a lot of the people that were there were winning and then he's like all, maybe they're only invited that presenters that are there. But then he would be like, no. And then five wouldn't.

And so it's very mixed. And so it's truly you don't know. But it was like, you know when it happens, there's a moment like right afterwards. I mean, yeah, you kind of just like, I don't know. You feel like it's so hard to even get to that. Yeah. That you're like, just let me win so I can just, I don't know if I could like it's so hard to even get to that. Yeah. That you're like, just let me win so I can just – I don't know if I could ever get back. But –

You will. Yeah. You'll put on a special next year, and then two years from now, you'll win the Grammy. I got this. You know, the Grammys do an awesome thing where they say in the thing, like, you are always – it's something you'll get forever is you will always be introduced as Grammy

nominee. And that is, that is extremely special. And that's like, you take that with a grant and there's way more, obviously Grammy nominees. And so that's the win is the, is just to be the Grammy nominee,

Grammy nominated. It's, it's insane to say it. And, you know, and I reminded myself as that, as I... You really do. In the moment, you're just kind of like... It's kind of bumming. And you're just kind of... Afterwards, you're just like, I don't know. The whole day, you're thinking about it.

You're like, what if I win? And it's kind of like, well, what am I going to say? I don't want to think about what I'm going to say because I don't want to have this speech that I'm going to go, then I don't do it. It's just mentally just trying to be like, I don't know what to do. And then Louis won, and Louis' special was great. And we know people are not thrilled. But it's whatever. We're not getting into that. But it was a moment of just like, ah, you know, all right. I was proud to be where I was at. I got there as a stand-up comedian.

That's the one thing that I kind of thought of. As you kind of think about it, you're like, yeah, dude. A, how obnoxious do I think I can be that I'm annoyed I didn't win? I'm lucky to even – we worked at Applebee's waiting tables like who this is all past insanity so I need to get off the high horse to think I even I'm not deserve this I'm not owed this like you try to remind yourself of that to be like why don't you chill out for a second dude like the fact that you made it here is insane and then uh it was uh what was i gonna say what was i saying uh just about being nominated and how it's oh and being as this not as a stand-up comedy yeah there's i there is something of that that i thought of and

i was like you know what uh i've never acted i've never i don't do any of this other stuff i only got to the end. Not saying that it takes away from anybody else. I hope to act, and I will get other stuff. But it was nice to be like, I made it this far with just this one thing that I know how to do. And so I did feel good with that. I was like, you know what? It's crazy, dude, and it's insane.

And so it was like, you know, as we went on, I was like, you're like, yeah, dude, this is unreal. I won. It's like you're a winner and like this. But, you know, you did feel a little self-pity right after. But you just knocked yourself out of it. And by the end of the night, I was like completely great if you're one gallon would you have thanked me and aaron uh no all right uh i would if you have 10 to they want you out of there and you're the thing is and those when you're thanking people like when you're the grammys you know everybody's

there those people at the end when they're thanking i mean there's not that many people there and those people want to go no one in that room i mean you want to hear your award but everybody's ready to go and so it's not like it's you i mean you're doing it for the camera you're absolutely doing it for the people that need to hear it and i mean i would think know, Lar, my family and all that stuff and her family that's been always super supportive. Netflix, agent, manager. Netflix, agent, manager. My publicist was there. I mean, try to go run through that.

How much time would you have needed to get to Millionaire? I mean, I don't know if I would do it on this podcast if I have two hours. I mean, I don't know if I would do it on this podcast if we have two hours. They're telling you to stretch. You're like, I'm done. I go, no, no, that's it. I go. I promise that's everyone.

Put the helmet back on. I go, I made it even though being bogged down by Brian and Aaron every week. The opposite. No, but there's part of me that you want to thank. I want to thank people. Then there's part of me that I'm like, I don't know if I, next time I would probably just try to come up with a joke. And I would just try to do a joke.

And I'll thank everybody properly, like on my Instagram or on this or like, you know, something like that. And just try to like, just be like, just go be funny. I mean, you do want to thank people because it's crazy that you got there, but there's part of you to like, just be entertaining. Like, just be funny. Kind of a wasted moment if you didn't. Yeah, just go up there and be like, say something.

You know, I mean, I make fun of myself. Like, you go up there and make fun of myself and be like, you know. And then you say, I'll thank everyone. and there's a lot of people obviously behind this because you you do in that moment you do want to like yeah dude my parents sacrificed a lot for me like laura sacrificed a lot for me like harper has to go through it like my brother and sister her family like there's so many people that do all this stuff for you don't want to start it and then someone feels left out yeah that would be horrible yeah like oh you said him but you can't think of start it and then someone feels left out. Yeah. That would be horrible. Yeah. Like, oh, you said him, but not me. You can't think of, yeah, there's so much that you could think of and who you could think of. And so there's part of me that thinks like this one I would have thanked people.

And if I ever get lucky enough to even get nominated or even to go again uh i i would probably try to just be like what how can i get people to laugh like what joke can i do that's very funny and then just go up there and be really funny and then that kind of thing uh did you meet any famous artists musicians we didn't because everybody's really trying to get in you know you had like they said and i'm sure they all went to the red carpet right before we went earlier and kind of right when it opened and quote got it out of the way so because they said yeah it was crowded and backed up and all this so we were like we were there so early it's like yeah when like justin bieber goes and all those people go it's going to be there there's just a line. And it was hot.

It was like almost 90 degrees or something. So we went very early. And so they were like, let's just go do it because then now we're done with it. And so we took one or two pictures with her in it. We don't know where that picture, we're trying to find it. The pictures were taken. I think they were barely taken. That was like a plan for me to go in and then come out,

but I think I left too soon. Yeah. So I wanted just a professional picture, but I don't think it made it. Yeah, we got that. Someone took the picture. Like that. See that little X he's standing on? They were like, goat, not that one.

See that? Oh, there's the marker right there. That's the good one. Yeah. So you have to like walk in. They say, you know, stop on every X, and there's sets of photographers as you go down. So they were like, you know, Laura, do like one or two of them. And then they were like, come back.

And I was like, no, no, I didn't get my second one. Was it fun? It was fun. It was interesting to see the behind the scenes. I think that's what we had the most fun doing. Yeah. It's like watching all the staff work, watching all the publicists work, watching all the camera crews and all the ushers. And the seat fillers, I thought, were hilarious.

Oh, that was awesome. They are like, you know, the person goes, hey, come to here. Oh, you go that way. Oh, you come this way. And it was just like, you know, really pretty girls in these gorgeous dresses just running to seats and sitting. And then someone looking at them crazy. And they were like, sorry, I just got told to sit here. Because people would go to the bathroom and then come back.

They're all dressed up to the nines. Mm-hmm. And then so, yeah, we would have like some person next to us, like this dude would get up and go to the bathroom like the whole time. He was looking for people. Yeah, that guy was looking for people. He was taking pictures of everything, editing the videos. During the graze.

Yeah, I think to post on his Instagram. And then you're like, all right. And then so after every commercial break, and they come out in the commercial break, and they go, all right, everybody, four minutes and 30 seconds commercial break. And so we would get up and go do, you know, someone would get up and people go to the bathroom. I stayed the whole time.

And then you went to the bathroom once at the end. Yeah. But when we went in, so we do the red carpet. So next time we will be like, we want pictures. We got at least one picture, but we don't know where it's at. But it was like, we didn't get a ton. And then I got to go through it for whatever, for the other reason. So it's like, it's kind of a whirlwind. You're just going through it. It's like, you're just, it's a kind of a whirlwind. You're just going through, it's like, look over here, here.

And I go to the next thing here, here. I mean, every picture is the same. My only, my different, my only different views were, did I squint or not squint? And that was, that's my model looks. Blue steel. Yeah, blue steel was like, is he squinting? Not squinting.

But you were on the Huffington Post. It's like the best dressed. I got best dressed. It's like a list. I got a list of like, here's where the best dressed. So I was Huffington Post best dressed. L-E-L-L-E. L Magazine.

L Magazine. And then some other, what's the other one? For the Dillard. The Dillard suit? Yeah. some other, what's the other one? For the Dillard. Cosmopolitan maybe. The Dillard suit? Yes. Yeah. It's a good looking suit.

It's not a Dillard suit. I think it is. I know. I know it's not. But it's, but like, yeah, but it was. I think it was Paul somebody. Yeah. Just Paul.

No, Todd. No, Todd. Todd Snyder. F. Tompkins. Yeah. Snyder. And then, so yeah, so it was it was it was that and then we did uh uh so yeah i mean i was like already on the you know best you know kind of best dress list that's awesome very cool that's

pretty cool and then uh and the first comedian that's a really good picture after the chris rock thing yeah i think so i think that's true but I don't think there's ever been one. No one really said that. No, but I mean. That's me saying it. Yeah. I feel like it's got to be true. Yeah, I think it is.

That's true. Because it was just a week later. Yeah. So we do the red carpet. Then we do art. Then after red carpet, we go back. I do all this stuff. And then when I go back in, I had a couple people come up and they say, oh, we love the

helmet thing. It was cool. And then we go in. We go back in, you know, I had a couple people come up and they say, oh, we love the helmet thing. It was cool. And then, and then we go in, we go stand in line, we get two diet coats, two pretzels. We haven't eaten

at this point. It's 4.30 and I had a smoothie in the morning is all I had. And then, so it was 4.30 so we eat real fast.

We just sit over there in the corner and just eat like a bunch of, you know, they're basically like, you know, whoever worked at Apple, we stand in this section. That's all they had. It was like the Predators game, you know, where they have like pretzels, popcorn, candy, drinks, if you want.

Yeah. Everybody just got drinks. No one got a soda. We were the only ones like gnawing a pretzel. You know, salted or not salted. We go, come on now on now yeah what are we doing here nacho cheese cup yeah come on i don't want to spill it on my dress so we go eat it there we went to one other part eat into the section saw the guy from million dollar listing uh one of the british guys yeah which we were fans of him that show uh and then then. I saw Shaggy. Shaggy.

Yeah, you see, I mean, we're kind of sitting behind. Shaggy the rapper? Yeah. Yeah. I was like, there's Shaggy. You see Justin Bieber walk, like he comes kind of, we're like fourth row from those tables. So Justin Bieber walked around, went to the bathroom.

And I saw Justin Bieber then when he came back, he has to duck down because they're starting. And like he has to run to his seat, duck down. You see all that kind of stuff. I'm not the best with music, so I obviously don't always know who everything is. Brutal Mars was very funny when they did their – They were really funny. That speech was very funny.

Him and Anderson.Paak, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That guy, that was very funny. And his was great. And the show was great. All the performances were so unique and creative and really well done, even if you didn't love the music. It was just a really cool show.

It went by very quick. We're there, so there's a lot of stuff. We saw people get kicked out. Really? You can tell it's either some kind of something that's like, my client's up there, and I need to be up there. And they made the lady leave. And they're being so nice to them. And you're seeing, it's fun to see the true divaness come out. And you can see, and it's not really, it's not the artist. Usually I would say it's a lot of, it's not, I'm sure some of them are. I saw some other

artists that were, but it's a lot of the people around the'm sure some of them are i saw some other artists that were but it's a lot of the people around the artist and you hear them she goes well that's my client i just want to see them win whatever and you're like i don't even know where you a year there's no way you're her like main client or you would be up there yeah or something like you know what i mean or there'd be you know whatever if uh and then this lady was like once she ended up being drunk they said well they they took it they kind of body moved her out of the way oh they grabbed her and they they have to like she ain't moving i mean she was in her face they go they didn't grab her they just moved her with their own security guard bodies yeah almost like yeah

kind of pushing her just steering her where to go which is the opposite of where she wants to go yeah they finally got her out and they were like excuse me to the like other security we think she's highly intoxicated and she goes no i'm not yeah and then i think they took her like out out i mean i heard she's my client she goes i am relaxed and they go but you gotta you gotta relax she goes you relax and she wouldn't move i mean she's talking this close to the security guy's face and she goes why are you relaxed they were very they were very nice because they would shoo her away and then she would just come back so but it was pretty cool seeing all the security guards and the staff the

ushers there because it's like las vegas so they're like kind of you know i don't know like they look like the mafia a little bit yeah so they're like really cool looking and perfect but like super professional like no you're not getting past here you go that way right i don't know it's cool to see but if they needed to they could drag you out definitely beat you yeah yeah they're they yeah they got them but like yeah they would get that lady out. They do it where it's like with a purpose, but not being mean and rude. And I'm listening to the whole thing because they did it next to me. We were sitting on the aisle.

And so this is all happening. I mean, I'm basically in these conversations. And so you're like. The teleprompter was right behind us. Like right behind us. So if someone said something, you know, it was like, oh, they were rude to her. You're like, no, no, lady. You were unbearable.

You yelled at them and was a problem the whole show. You multiple times were just, the whole show was you trying to get up there. Yeah. So that makes it all go by fast too. And then, yeah. And the seat filler thing was very cool because they would just, you'd have to stand up and they'd come sit next to you at one point i wanted to do the kramer like if someone catches us together you're gonna have some explaining to do that i wanted i wanted i almost should have made you leave just so i could well that that guy that

left a million times we had two or three seat fillers sit next to us and he would come back and i mean people don't know that's who it is. They think it's just someone else sitting in their seat because they've been in their own world, not watching it like we were watching. And so they come back like, this is my seat. And she's like, I know, I'm sorry. You know, and she would run away. Yeah. You get up all the time.

Yeah. You see a ton of like. There's a ton of moving around. There's a ton of moving there's a ton of moving around and there's a ton of like you see that world where it's uh you know a lot of people think they're important and it's can't imagine oh it's wild and i and look the artists obviously do think that it's not like them you see a lot of people that are somewhat near i'm sure they know the artist in some form or they've got this ticket or they did something and you feel a lot of like you know like what's that word where

entitlement yeah there's a wild amount of entitlement going on and you can just feel it and it's all people that you're like did you like none of us are anybody yeah and you're like and then some of them you're like you're not even not even, I don't know, a performer. I don't even, like, you just maybe know a guy. And then, there's a lot of that.

That's fun to see. I enjoyed it. I really did. I would go again, like, just the whole thing was very neat and to see it all work.

It feels like it'd be really fun to, you pop your head in this world every now and then, right? Yeah, yeah. You can't be in it.

No. I don't want to get in conversation. I mean, I could see. I said who I knew. I know Questlove from Fallon. I told him, dude, he's the greatest. He's like, did you win? And it was before we announced it.

And I was like, no, not yet. I was like, they haven't announced it yet. So Quest is like, he's like a the normal dude uh the osborne the brother osbornes they're both normal dudes you know i just said very quickly they had a crazy whole day and then uh but yeah there was so many like i walk into a green room and you're like well i can't sit in i in. I can't even imagine. It's like two artists talking about the importance of music. I was like, well, I'm not going to handle this at all. It was really fun.

Yeah, it was really fun. But then it was just me, Laura, and our provost. We would just go sit out in the middle of the table. Eat pretzels. I mean, but yeah, I'd walk into some, and you're just seeing. You see them walk in, dude. You just walk in. There's just like, look, I've done a lot of stuff where i've had my agents managers you got a lot of people

that follow you and they're in your kind of group so i understand that you know when i go on the road we have a lot of comics we're walking around uh i'm not against that but it was like just seeing someone walk in and they're like a guy's carrying like their bag and then someone's behind him and you're like it's like uh what's the the devil prada the worst product yeah it's like i don't know if i've even seen that movie isn't that what that is describe it for us yeah it's like a devil and uh no it's like but what's her face is a devil meryl streep yeah yeah it's about the leader of like magazine or something. Prada. So it has nothing to do with Devils or Pradas. No.

Well, Prada, yes. Okay. But like that, where it's like, you know, there's one person I saw, and he just had his assistant would flip out. I mean, he would get fanned a lot. Are you serious? Yeah, yeah. But he had his own fan fan and then uh i think he did

at least a lot on his own he actually had a great good for him he was very nice and like our like it seemed but you see sometimes backstage you can see get a little like you could see them get a you know it's kind of fun to see like you're're like, I like to think that they're not all like this and it's in this moment. And so it's, but it's, it is kind of see fun to see, you know, when you get into this business,

you always hear about divas or people that are monsters to work with, you know? And I always want to be like, well, I want to see that. Like, what does that mean? What do you mean?

Cause I've seen where people think people are this way, and I'm like, well, they're not. They asked for one thing, and then that venue just says, well, they blew it up, and they said, well, they wanted. They wanted. Water bottles. They asked for a blanket because they're a nightmare. And you're like, well, it's very cold in your green.

I'm always cold in there. That's why I wear a sweater. And you're like, and maybe get a blanket. They sold the show out. Like, I don't think it's crazy, you know. But then they, you know, for whatever reason. So sometimes you want to see it. It was good.

It was good. Yeah, it was awesome. We had an awesome experience. Awesome time. It was very neat. You know, just two kids that met at Applebee's. Now look at you. Crazy.

That is crazy to think about. It's crazy. It's awesome. I wear this in front of her every day. Yeah. I sleep with her until I wake her up in the morning. Make my breakfast. Yeah. I go, can I have breakfast? She goes, can you make it?

I go, if you have one of these, I will make it. But if you don't have one of these, I'm not going to make it. All right. Thanks. That's awesome, man. You can go. Thanks.

Thank you for coming. Thank you, Laura. Yes. Hope I helped. You did. You did. All right. And finally, we'll wrap it up.

We're closed with the big news. You got time? Because we're past. Yeah, yeah. We're doing, yeah. with the big news. You got time? Because we're past.

Yeah, yeah. We're doing, yeah. You know, I mean, this is the thing that I think is more impressive than me being nominated for a Grammy. More rare.

More rare. But Bates has a baby. Wow. Eleanor. Yep. Bates and Brian and Ruth. Eleanor Marie Bates. Lovely, lovely girl.

Little daughter you brought in. Yep. It's and Brian and Ruth. Eleanor Marie Bates. Lovely, lovely girl. Little daughter you brought in. Yep. It's been a whirlwind, I'd imagine, for you. It has. She was born March 21st. So yesterday we had our two-week checkup, and she's doing great. She was five pounds, two ounces. And we thought she was going to have to go in the NIC unit.

That's what they told us the whole pregnancy. But then she was born and she's a little bit heavier than they thought. And nobody say anything and they give her to us and we're like, all right, no one's taking her away from us. And we were so excited. And yeah, it's great. She lost a little weight at first, which all newborn babies do. So she's been in the four pounds something range. But yesterday, she was back up to five pounds, three ounces. So she's headed in the right direction.

Yeah, did a couple drive-thrus. Did a couple drive-thrus. Yeah. She, just like us folks, you with your gout and you with your dyslexia and me with everything else she has a cleft palate okay so um at first it was hard for her to eat and uh feeding her was trouble but now we've got that figured out got a new bottle we got stuff going on so she's doing good now and we uh we met with venerable children's hospital today and they're gonna get that treated oh that's awesome yeah yeah in time yeah i mean they have like a good thing now with that stuff like they do and We met with Vanderbilt Children's Hospital today, and they're going to get that treated. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah.

In time. Yeah, I mean, they have a good thing now with that stuff. They do. And I feel so blessed to live in a city that's got great medical treatment. They've got a whole wing just for cleft palates. Oh, really? Yeah, so it's great. It's great.

And yeah, it's been a whirlwind. Yeah, I know that's hard, especially when they do have a – she's eating good? She's sleeping good? She sleeps. I mean, I didn't even realize this because she sleeps almost all the time except when she's eating. So we actually have had to wake her up to eat, and we do it every three hours. And it's really hard. She's starting to wake up a little

bit more on her own but it is hard to wake up a perfectly sleeping baby yeah you don't want to you don't want to to make them eat she doesn't want to eat especially early on because and it's just a huge fight yeah and you're just like golly can you not let her sleep a little bit longer and then somebody suggested well maybe i should let her eat every two hours. I'm like are you crazy? I mean we should be going longer but the pediatrician says three hours and I've made every mistake in the book.

I forgot to put a diaper on her one time. Oh yeah. I had the late night feeding Ruth's asleep. I'm trying to do it without waking her up and I don't know if you remember this with harper as soon as you unswaddle them yeah and they get cold yeah they get cranky yeah so i'm racing against the clock change her diaper throw that away she has a little diaper rash put

something on there and she's getting more and more upset and i quickly do that and then i swallow her up but so she'll be warm again to stop crying and i start feeding her in about two minutes in i'm like why are my shorts wet yeah with warm water yeah and i looked down and she had peed all over me yeah but i forgot to put the tag so i'll probably blame that one on me yeah yeah i you know you haven't had a kid until they've peed or pooped on you. And she's done both already. Yeah. So you're in the system.

I don't even know. Like, I've really made every mistake. Like, we brought her home from the hospital, and Ruth went on a little ahead of me, and I came in with her. And she's like, what was the problem? You had trouble getting her out? And I'm like, well, yeah, I don't know how to unbuckle all that stuff. And she's like, you don't. You just bring in the whole car seat.

You don't take them out. Yeah. mean you know that but no i mean i don't think i would i don't know yeah i didn't know what you carry in and out yeah that way you can get them you're not like trying to it's cold or it's hot or it's raining you know whatever it's just safer yeah and uh so yeah i mean i've i've been here we were in the hospital and they said, you know, do you remember where you delivered at? Centennial. Centennial. Yeah. They're so understandably strict about safety and security and stuff like that. And they're like, don't push your red call button.

If you need something more ice whatever call this number don't push the red call button unless your child's choking unless someone's coming in to steal something like emergency i'm in the bathroom taking a shower apparently there's a red call button in the shower oh yeah i just hear people come running in like swarm swarms and i hear someone over a speaker there's a speaker in the show like I just hear people come running in, like, swarm, swarm. And I hear someone over a speaker. There's a speaker in the show. Like, everything. And apparently, I didn't realize.

They all just come rushing into Ruth's room, thinking there's a strange man. Yeah. You know, and they're stealing the baby. Yeah. So. And you're just in there. Do they come in the bathroom? No. I said, don't go in there. Yeah. I'm just in there singing. Yeah in the bathroom no shit don't go in there yeah i'm just in there singing yeah what's the problem out here yeah that's so funny uh yeah so yeah there she is she's she's cute yeah she's cute she looks good

uh yeah and big was big was she looks big she was big well she's not i mean look at go back to that one of the close-up of her face you can see right well the one after that right there looking at ruse hands she doesn't have man hands usually but i mean you can see she's she's small she's people see her in person they're like wow she is tiny yeah yeah but when she was five pounds it was like oh that's good yeah yeah that's what we were hoping for that didn't sound when she was five pounds, it was like, oh, that's good. Yeah. Yeah. That's what we were hoping for. That didn't sound too bad. No. Five pounds. So people ask who she looked like, and the answer is neither of us

because she was an embryo that we adopted. And we met a family that had trouble having children. They had some embryos made in lab they had some extra ones i mean it sounds like you're making a transaction but we really were yeah and they didn't want to destroy them because they feel like that's you know a life as do we and they wanted to donate them to a christian family and so we met with them and um and they uh they gave her to us, the embryo. Yeah, that's awesome. So my daughter already has two brothers and a sister.

Oh, wow. Oh, wow. And her sister's three months older than she is. Really? Yeah. Wow. Oh, that's crazy. Name Harper.

Yeah. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if they want all their info out, but this family is like, this is a huge mistake. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, all right. That's all I'll say about that. Get their address out. Let them know. Yeah. Yeah. Well. That's awesome, man.

Yeah. But that's, yeah, that's awesome. The fact that you did that, I know a lot of people do that kind of stuff. Yeah. I would encourage couples that can't have children to look into that. Yeah. There's a lot of embryos, quite frankly, frozen. There's thousands of them that people don't know what to do with.

Yeah. If you don't want to destroy them, then give them to someone like us who needs one. Yeah. And they'll raise them. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah. Yeah, very awesome. them yeah that's awesome yeah yeah very awesome yeah it's awesome it's it's uh yeah it's a whole i mean there's nothing better than having a kid so it goes you know

y'all can watch dancers wolves together okay what's that what's that what's that uh i met all the nurses asked them where they're from guess their county yeah. Yeah. Did you? I did. One tried to tell me. Well, she did tell me up front. I wasn't happy about it. She's like, where are you from? She said, Coopertown. She said, Robertson County. I was like, yeah, I know.

Yeah. I know. I was about to guess your school. Yeah. Yeah. I went to Coopertown. No, no, no. I'm sorry.

She said Cross Plains. Oh, Cross Plains. And I said, I know. And I said, East Robertson. And she's like, yeah. Yeah. That's where Carlos Gross is from. Yeah, yeah, no. I'm sorry. She said cross planes. And I said, and I said, I know. And I said, East Robertson. And she's like, yeah, yeah. That's where Carlos grows is from.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I went to Cooper town elementary. Yeah. Uh, play these drops. And yeah,

that's awesome, dude. So it's, uh, look at this. You're a different man now. Yep. You feel different.

We're tired. That's for sure. Yeah. Yeah. I'm used to like getting through something just like all right if we just get through this weekend then we can just sleep in and there's no just like oh no no those days are over it doesn't stop yeah yeah you gotta wonder where they're at you're always thinking about them every second this is the first time i've been away from her

in her life yeah wow yeah wow yeah well she'll be proud of what you did while you were away. Proud of you, Dad. Yeah. Oh, her first words are, why didn't you do more about that story at the beginning? The Pepsi story.

You know, the Pepsi story. You know, because you did say, I sleep very good. Yeah, yeah. She just sleeps all the time. We have to wake her up. Like, oh, okay.

So why don't we do the Pepsi thing? We love it, dude. Everybody was excited. Everybody's happy to have you back now. Thank you. It's a crazy thing. Aaron, anything? You went to the Grammys.

You had a kid. i got stuck on an elevator in louisville all right for about 20 minutes wow it's crazy weight limit by yourself yeah are you by yourself no but i was the biggest guy in the elevator which is tough was it i'd imagine it was at the bottom it just couldn't go up stuck between floor one and two no i think the very bottom the basement then he goes right when he goes in they press seven and it just goes and just settles on the ground yeah 19 floors up actually oh yeah fire department had to come oh wow it was legit i would lose it with my- Well, though a woman on the elevator did.

She started to have trouble. Yeah. And me and Matt Taylor, the other comic that were with me, we were both trying to play it cool, but as soon as we got off, we were like, dude, I was freaking out. I mean, it was stressful. How long? 20 minutes? About 20 minutes, yeah.

What is the lady just going crazy? When they said fire department? Yeah. We didn't even know where we were because it didn't show what floor you were on. minutes yeah what is the lady just going crazy she when they said fire department yeah and we didn't even know where we were because the like it didn't show what floor you're on and then a guy finally came up and opened the doors and we only had about a foot we weren't even with the floor so there's only about a foot where we could get out and he was like so we're gonna have to call the fire department and that's when people were like God, this might be like a thing. Yeah. You know. And what do they do?

They said we have to reset the elevator. Yeah. Which I stopped. I was like, what does that mean? Yeah. Because that doesn't sound good. They just had to turn them all off and turn them all back on where they all go down to the first floor. And we were just on there for a while.

Did you like Dwight and claim your corner? Start at the end of the corner. I did sit down first. How many people were in there? There's four of us, four of us total. At least it's like that's the borderline one more, and you're like, it's not good. It's crowded. Do you know these people now?

Would you know their names? Well, it got to a point where I was like, I guess we should introduce ourselves. I'm Aaron. We all met each other. And then they had some whiskey in their backpack because there was a whiskey convention going on. So we might as well break this out now. We're stuck on here. Yeah, yeah.

Kind of fun in retrospect. Yeah, yeah. Once I know that I was safe. Yeah. Except the lady losing it. Oh, yeah. She did not have a good time. She did not.

Did she do whiskey? She was looking for something, yeah. Yeah. She was like, thank you. Yeah, she needed it. Yeah. Wow, that is crazy yeah it was a fun weekend yeah yeah oh all right all right well this was a big one

so we did good everybody's back uh thank you for listening as always i'll uh i will be this week poughkeepsie buffalo syracuse maybe somewhere. Check out the tour dates. We announced some more dates. You got to stay in town for the next few weeks. But our show's in Woodstock, Georgia, May 26th. May 26th. If you live in Atlanta, come see us. Yes. Brian and I co-headlined in there.

Very exciting. And Salt Lake City. And Salt Lake City. Yeah. Yeah, in June. Yeah, in June. Wise guys. All right.

Thank you, everyone. As always, we love you. And see you next week. Wise guys. All right. Thank you, everyone. As always, we love you. And see you next week. See you. Nateland is produced by Nateland Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network.

Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.