The Nateland Podcast - #94 Easter & Taxes

Episode Date: April 13, 2022

It's Holy Week and tax week and only on the Nateland Podcast would both subjects be combined into one episode. Nate learns that there can be a full moon on a cloudy night and Maundy Thursday is not a meal deal at Chilis. Brian shares a story of Jackson Hewitt helping him with tax fraud, and Aaron shares a story of child neglect that may have led his brother to go to Purdue.  Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail] Upstart - Upstart.com/Nate Find out how Upstart can lower your monthly payments today when you go to UPSTART.com/NATE. That’s UPSTART.com/NATE. Don’t forget to use our URL to let them know we sent you!  1Loan amounts will be determined based on your credit, income, and certain other information provided in your loan application.  Go to UPSTART.com/NATE.   Talkspace - TalkSpace.com   If thoughts and emotions are piling up, a fresh perspective can help you feel better.  Match with your dedicated therapist today at talkspace.com, and use promo code nate during sign-up to get $100 off your first month. That’s $100 off at talkspace.com, promo code nate.   Master Class - MasterClass.com/Nate   Nateland highly recommends you check it out.  Get unlimited access to EVERY MasterClass,  And as a Nateland listener, you get 15% off an annual membership!  Go to MASTER CLASS.com/NATE now.  That’s MASTER CLASS.com/NATE for 15% off MasterClass   Indeed -  Indeed.com/Nate   ●    Start hiring RIGHT NOW with a SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLAR SPONSORED JOB CREDIT to upgrade your job post at Indeed.com/NATE. Offer valid through April 30th. ●    Go to Indeed.com/NATE to claim your SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLAR CREDIT before April 30th. ●   Indeed.com/NATE. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? You need Indeed.     Policy Genius  - PolicyGenius.com/Nate   Head to policygenius.com/NATE to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. Head to https://policygenius.com/NATE to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save.  

hello folks welcome to the nateland podcast all right let's go folks welcome to the nateland podcast like we said we're sitting here with Iron Weber, Aaron Weber, Brian Bates, and we have the intern, Cole. It's good to be back. Yeah. Thank you. People demanded for you to be back. A lot of people asked for you never to come back.

How does that feel? It's real exciting. No one said that at all. But that was just Bates said that. And yeah, how crazy is that? How could he turn, you know, you're doing all the work. I know. I know, dude.

All right. I want you to stay. I already got my college choice for you. Yeah, yeah. It's here in town. So Cole, you've made a choice of where you're going to go to college. And no one knows this choice. Your parents know, I guess, right? I told them. You at least told them. You've made a choice on where you're going to go to college. And no one knows this choice.

Your parents know, I guess, right? I told them. You at least told them. You make them find out here. We do not know. As you can see, the hats are on the table. If you're listening, we have a lot of hats on the table. A few of these we can see.

What is this one? What's that first hat right there this one that's Bucky's Bucky's so this is college didn't plan out

this is a great great place we've been to this place and are you gonna we can ask now are you gonna go full time at Bucky's

you don't even work there part time it's a possibility yeah maybe still do it it's a growing company we can ask now are you gonna go full-time at bucky's you don't even work there part-time possibility yeah maybe still do it it's a growing company okay so but this is not the college choice no but if it doesn't college doesn't work out and if you don't end up going this is probably where you're gonna be right okay i'd say save the hat i'd say save it just so your first day you at least can you know you're like at least you're it's one less bother if you go into the interview of bucky's you wear this hat and they're like oh thanks for it and you go yeah absolutely it was one of my college choices uh so go through

this hat you know what this one is i don't so this is my high school. So Donaldson Christian Academy. We have a golf tournament, I think, next week. And if you want to go back to high school, this is as far as I made it. This is my peak. This is my college. And there's nothing wrong with that. And so if you don't want to go to college, this is the symbol for that. If you want to stand against colleges. colleges you want to make that stand um you know you gotta decide right now right now it's either you don't

go to code cool you didn't even hear me out you don't you go back to dca you go to my high school and you look you're older they'll probably let you start teaching there i can probably get you teaching maybe a decent parking spot yeah that's a big deal get paid to go to school maybe probably get paid all right i thought it was a good option so we also have oh we have this one too chick-fil-a another solid job it's like bucky's this is a great place to work yeah and this is all your kind of not college choices are you chick-fil-a would you work there i could see myself there you could see yourself there about 10 years do you currently have a job i do what do you do now and my life card at the rec center oh wow yeah that's fun you know so if that you

like that that's a fun job, right? Just sit there. I mean, it's boring, but decent pay. That's what people want to hear when they're relying on you watching their children. I don't know. I zone out quite a bit. They're good swimmers. Yeah. Have you saved anybody?

I haven't, no. Okay. So Chick-fil-A, it's their worst case when you go order food. You put in some time at Chick-fil-A, they'll pay for Worst case, wear it when you go order food. You put in some time at Chick-fil-A, they'll pay for your college. In college, maybe you need a job. Chick-fil-A is a good job to have. It depends on where you're going to choose. So this looks like we're now to some real choices here. So we have Vanderbilt.

Obviously, I'm a giant fan. Did you try to go to Vandy? I did not apply. That's what I say. It was my choice. Sorry. I wanted you to stay in town. That's crazy.

This would have been a great choice. You'd have been near your parents. They would have liked that. Yeah. And then you could have just kept doing this podcast for us instead of leaving us, which would have been good. You know, Vanderbilt, being an intern at this podcast, I think helps you get into Vanderbilt.

Sure did. But, all right, I guess I'm not going to throw it on the ground. So now we're down. So we got four choices here, or three, and then hand me that one. Obviously, Notre Dame, Aaron. There you go. Dumb one. So. Obviously, Notre Dame. Aaron. There you go. Dumb one. So not going to Notre Dame.

That doesn't make sense. Just, you know, like why would you even – who thinks about that? I'm sorry. Friendship class. Should have put a Burger King hat up there instead. Yeah, he doesn't come from Notre Dame royalty where he can – just anybody can get in. Your family's been going there for years and years and years.

Okay, okay. Notre Dame's a solid school. So, oh, so here's the choices. We got Clemson, Auburn, Alabama, and Texas, right? So if anybody wants to, you want to take a shot in the dark, we'll give you four choices of what you're choosing. I'm going to go with Clemson clemson clemson came

out of nowhere i've not heard any rumors about clemson but you know you know the cul-de-sac talks and so i have not heard anything about i feel like you're more of an east coast guy you're gonna want to stay closer yeah that's how because it's closer to the east coast he gives all the east coast vibes to you yeah a little bit i don't know if i'm getting that yeah his family's from new jersey and yeah oh really yeah okay i didn't pick up on that it does change a lot it was the episode here for a long time that you were here okay okay i'm going texas that's my that's my pick yeah joining the sec solid joining the sec so y'all you will be your will see you when they come play Vandy.

Yep. And that's good. All right. So my choice. So I know you went down to Alabama. I know we all went to Auburn. I think you liked Auburn. Clemson surprises me.

I didn't know anything about it. Maybe I did know. Clemson's not bad. And Texas. You did go to Texas uh I don't you know what

I will to mix it up see if we can get I'm gonna I'm gonna go with Auburn just cause I remember we went there it's down here

uh you know you like the drive down there it's a fun school uh you know so

uh Cole uh go ahead and pick away, take one away what's one that you're not going to I'll take Texas away oh, there we go

boom, just a little too far for me a little too far great program though great program so you want to take one more away take Bama away. Oh, took Alabama.

Laura's upset about that. Sorry. Laura fainted. Laura fainted on the ground. Alabama's out. It's where you're from. I know. It's where I'm from and what I picked.

So I'm going to sit this one out. So when you see Aaron talk, you're like, I don't want to be taught by those people. Yeah. I mean, that's what Alabama is. But I guess you will with Auburn. So this will be the choice. Auburn, Clemson,

which one are you going to? So I've decided to take my talents to Auburn University. Oh! Look at that. Clemson's out. Congratulations.

Congratulations. I was right. We went to Auburn. We went to game down there. You loved it down there, didn't you? It's a good, it's not a crazy drive. It's far enough from your parents, but close enough to, which is a good thing.

I think that's what you want. You want to get, I want to get far enough away, but you still need to do laundry. So was there any other reason you chose it? I don't know. Just great traditions. Really, everyone there seemed to love it. Yeah.

It just felt like a good place to go. Yeah, yeah. You know what you're going to major in? Accounting. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's fun. That's what everyone says that i've told them

like oh it's so boring like it is no but if you but i think it's my my buddy p jeremy morrow he's uh he does accounting he loves it people that like they they if you like numbers and you like that kind of thing it's i think people really like it yeah and it's like that's your world i don't think people know what accounting is i don don't know. Do you know a lot of tax stuff? I don't. Oh, not really. My own kid on it. We're talking about today.

Well, that's why you're going to college, you know? Yeah. That's right. That's why I don't know it. I have a joke about not knowing taxes, and I didn't go to college, and I would have learned all this tax stuff. Yeah. All right.

Dude, congratulations. Congratulations, man. It's a great choice. You're going to have fun down there. We're going to come to a game. All right. Dude, congratulations. Congratulations, man. It's a great choice. You're going to have fun down there. We're going to come to a game. We're going to watch everybody. Cole will be at Auburn. So make sure you go down there and say hello to Cole at Auburn.

When do you start? Like early August, I think. Did you already submit? What do you have to do? You have to call them and say hello? I got this hat thing in front of them. Is this how they will find out? Yeah, they're going to watch it.

Okay, that's good. I'll send them the link. Yeah, send them the link. Let them know. I got my housing all set up, but I haven't sent my enrollment deposit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's the last thing I need to do. It's probably a fun campus.

When we went down there, it was a very fun campus, and it was a very cool campus when we went to that game. like so i could definitely see how it's uh it's gonna be awesome it's gonna have fun awesome buddy and you're gonna go work now you gotta go to work lifeguard outside or inside inside yeah okay i was gonna say it's raining it's raining outside so all right and it's so you got to do some lifeguarding. You can wear the hat. I could. Do they know? Does your school know? Does your high school know?

I've told my friends, yeah. Oh, just close friends. But now you're telling the world. The whole world. The whole world's listening to this. Cool. Can I still email you? Yeah.

I don't know. Sure. Let's see. Co at auburn.edu. Yeah, let's see what his house first semester first semester does. I don't know how much. I don't think you want people to be like, why is your dad's friend emailing? You know, why is your dad's older brother emailing me? All right, you can go to work. Thank you for doing this, Cole. We loved it. Thanks for all

your help. You've been helping us a lot. We still expect you to help us. Of course, man. We still need you. So go get a college education. Come back and help us more. All right. That's good.

Congrats, Cole, everybody. Auburn University. There he is. There we go. Amazing. About to be the best four years of your life, dude. This is it. Have fun.

The most fun. Maybe not the happiest, but the most fun. the not the maybe not the happiest but the most fun yeah do you think there's a difference that's what i think that's part of getting older as i'm learning there's a difference see you buddy see you uh yeah i'd say definitely yeah i don't think he stands a chance as soon as he leaves you you're like, that kid's going nowhere. Dead man walking. See you, sucker. I was being real serious about that Bucky's hat. I go, hey.

Cole's like unbelievably smart. That's awesome. That's, you know, it's fun. You know, I felt like I didn't get to make a choice. So there you go. I felt. That is a lot of fun. It is a lot of fun. Do a hat selection ceremony.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Seven hats. All the choices in the world. Yeah. That's great. lot of fun it is a lot of do a hat selection ceremony yeah yeah yeah that's yeah seven hats all the choices in the world yeah uh that's great uh all right welcome everybody uh we're gonna start off uh as we always do with uh your guys's comments thank you for writing in we always appreciate it uh first up rusty green is so i Oh, really? Yeah. This episode was my all-time favorite. Having three of you together again was such a joy to watch. Getting a behind look at the Grammys was fascinating with Laura as a guest.

Taking time at the end to talk about Brian and the birth of Eleanor was the cherry on the top. Coming from a longtime fan, the whole episode was full of laughs, special moments, five stars. Wow. Thank you, Rusty. That's very nice. That's very nice. That's very nice. Thanks, Rusty. Good to see you, buddy.

I talked to you. Kind of do this. Yeah. Rusty, I think you came to shows like real early. Like when I was like maybe in Chicago. Like, I mean, like super, super early. You know him from here? No, from there.

From Chicago? Yeah, yeah. Like, and from friends. and so that way yeah uh uh laura tanner lara laura tanner i'd like to congratulate brian early on parenthood because the patience kindness love and support he shows while nate is reading makes it clear he will be a wonderful father keep up the great job, gentlemen, and thank you for being one of the reasons I'm able to not only stay sane during this crazy time, but to laugh through you guys through it.

That's very nice. Insult to me, but I hope we all feel warm and fuzzy about that. Bonnie Paragoy. Probably right, right? Yeah. Paragoy. I was a right? Yeah. Paragoy. I was a little frustrated with how long it took the guys to acknowledge how fantastic Laura looked in the pictures.

Yeah. Well, I mean, I said she looked – I mean, I said it a ton that day. I don't know if she wants me just going crazy over your wife. I was going to say, I feel like that's up to you, Nate. Yeah, yeah. Laura, you're so hot. These photos. Turn them on. Yeah, she looked terrific. I was glad everybody got to see the pictures. life i was gonna say i feel like that's up to you nate yeah yeah you're so hot yeah yeah turn it on

she yeah she looked terrific i was glad everybody got to see the pictures it was uh yes she looked awesome and it was very very beautiful and hot and you know but yeah uh i'm glad y'all didn't you know harp on it truly yeah like all right guys let's get it together. Kid Nurse 1970. Hello, folks. Not nine minutes in and Nate has blessed us with an expenditure. Please do an episode on the Pepsi Jet. Finally, you were robbed at the Grammys. You're easily one of the best in the game and deserve that win. Well, thank you very much for that.

I'd say the Kid Nurse 1970. I agree Nate is one of the best in the game, but to win a Grammy you have one of the best in the game, but to win a Grammy, you have to be the best in the game, and the Grammys determine he is not. Oh, wow. Good night. So much for that kindness you're showing there, Brian.

For all the... I'm going to... I'd like that clip pulled aside for all the, Nate, you're too mean to Brian. And, you know too mean to Brian. And, you know. Just roll it. What's the expenditure? That was you trying to pronounce expenditure. Oh, expenditure.

Yeah. Expendenture. Expendenture. Yeah. I looked up the Pepsi, Jed. I know all about it now. Oh, yeah? You going to watch this commercial about it,

or are you going to talk about it first? You don't even have to play the audio for it. But basically, it was he took the guys, he took Pepsi to court. Because they wouldn't give him the jet. And then they said, it's unrealistic.

The judge ruled in Pepsi's favor. It's unrealistic for you to think that they would really give you a jet. Because the commercial is a kid who shows up at school in this fighter jet he says it's better than riding the bus so the judge said this is a case of puffery which we talked about advertising where no one's really going to think that this is real yeah and then he argued a judge shouldn't be deciding this but a a jury of the Pepsi generation. So he kept going back and forth, but the judge finally ruled in favor of Pepsi.

And then Pepsi changed their ad from 7 million points to 70 million points. Yeah. But then put, just kidding, like just to be safe. Yeah. This guy now lives, he works for the park service in washington

dc did he get any money no why don't they at least give him the money back for what he spent well they didn't cash his check yeah he sent in seven hundred thousand dollars to say give me this jet that he raised through investors oh and they didn't cash it. They didn't. Okay. Yeah. They gave him that money back. What does it say? Let me see. Yeah. Yeah.

Right there's a good spot. So there he is with the kid with his. Yeah. T-shirt. He's got a cool Pepsi T-shirt on. Leather jacket, 1450 Pepsi points. Shades. 175.

Yeah. Here he is. Paper blowing in the classroom. He shows up with a with a fighter jet you can see this on youtube yeah and then harrier fights seven million pepsi points i don't know man i i kind of like it's almost like I like the idea of they should have to give this guy this. I agree. Because it's like, you want to go like, well, you got caught. A guy called you out, and so you got caught.

You don't have to give him, don't give him a fighter jet. Even if you're like, we're not going to give you $33 million. We got caught. But like, here's a million dollars. Like, you know, something. Just be like, you got caught. You didn't like, you know, give it up for the dude caught you didn't you didn't like you know give it up for the dude that got it like that's insane yeah and then he went and raised the money

i mean he how does no one think that you know give him some i mean they give him free pepsi they probably can give me him a shirt yeah i'm on the side of him a ton of legal fees too because he just kept they should have paid for all i, it's – I don't agree with how – I don't think right now he would get – I think they would have to give him something. Are you going to become a Coke guy now? Is this enough to get you off Team Pepsi? No, no, no, no.

Pepsi still. I like Pepsi. Coke would never have done this. Coke would have done it. This is where they made their money off of this. Promising fighter jets to kids you know they're uh but i think i don't i think nowadays i don't think he would i think he'd get money because there's with social media there's so much pressure on the companies back then i mean what was that that was 2007 no it was earlier than that oh yeah it was like 96

or so back then you have no shit no one about you, and no one even knows you're trying to do this. Yeah. And so, but now, with social media, I mean, you couldn't. You would just get ridiculed. I mean, people would just start doing it, and they'd have to give them a fighter jet. And if I was Pepsi, I would straight up give them a fighter jet. Yeah, why not? I would be like, I'm not going to give you the money, but I will give you a fighter jet.

And then you have to deal with that yes that's a way bigger hassle than you're thinking where do you where do you put it i would drive it to his house and drop it off in his street and then i would leave and then go yeah man congratulations we didn't promise any other stuff and i would make it like pepsi should be like all right all right you're right you're right if you listen to all these episodes i'll give you a fighter jet uh i wanted to get it if you get folk points i'll give you all fighter jets i found the guy i wanted to like i found his phone number i want to call him and say can you come in and walk out of the

bathroom yeah surprise nate but yeah uh he's a park ranger in washington dc now oh i love it maybe get him maybe talk to him one day maybe we should try to find him you got his phone number good night this guy's trying to live i mean you can't you know you can't the problem is i think you're with your age mixed with technology is no good because you know a white book really well. And so you take that in technology. Now kids try to like Google name. They're going to get stuck pretty quickly. But the older folk that know how to do both, like Bates, that's like my whole life was finding people's phone numbers.

Yeah. Well, now I'm on – I do Cameo. And I go too far on people. Like I'll do some research on them yeah do you really like hey and jenny said that uh you know vicky had her baby last week like i tell them stuff they don't know yeah yeah i do some real research on them not just the stuff they give me if anything mine are two you're on cameo yeah what how many have you done 10 oh wow that's awesome that's awesome look That's awesome. Look at that.

It's fun. So if you want a cameo from Bates, if you want a little too much info. If anything is too much. Yeah. I'll get personal. That's great. Mike Terry. Nate talking about presenting at the Grammys.

It can be super quick or it can be super fast. It will probably be somewhere in the middle. I didn't even catch that I don't even I'd say that about everything you always well I don't know I might stand so like being like when you're up there it's like the 10 or 60 seconds I think that's everything like you like you know what for jokes I will stand beside I'll stand by it it depends on on how they're going to react. If it reacts bad, it's going to be super quick. If it destroys, oh, well, I said super quick or super fast.

Yeah, I think that's the point is you said the same thing twice. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Never mind. You're right, Mike. Get gum it, Mike. I don't know what I'm saying, dude. He wins.

Paul Collier. I went to school with a girl named isis she joined the military and this photo was taken her at her going away party before she got deployed to afghanistan thought you might enjoy it good luck isis we are proud of you over an american flag over an american flag that's great that's great uh that's fun so well good luck isis i'm rooting for you isis maybe she the ager to get in everywhere you know she's gonna go up and they're like who are you she goes i'm isis to go yeah come on come on you're in. Shadow Champ. Hello, folks.

Just spent two days in Lebanon, and wow, I can see what made Bandana the way he is. I'd like to know where you grew up, Shadow Champ. Well, he's vacationing in Lebanon, so. Worse than Maryland. Yeah. We had it on down. We had the last Kmart in Tennessee. Yeah.

Oh, really? You still have it? No, it closed recently. There's only three left in the U.mart in Tennessee. Yeah. Oh, really? Do you still have it? No, it closed recently. There's only three left in the U.S. That's crazy. When you drive past Lebanon on the interstate, what's on the attraction sign on the side of the interstate? You know, those big blue signs?

I think it's pilots, gas station, flying J. They had to scratch that Kmart off of it. They go, that's going to hurt business. Do you have an outlet? We do have an outlet. You have an outlet. Oh, okay.

That's a good one. That outlet's struggling. Oh, yeah. It's a lot of empty stores. Cedars of Lebanon State Park. I worked there one summer. Oh, yeah. Wow.

What'd you do at the park? Worked at a camp store. Okay. Yeah. You look like you work at a park. You do really look, like if I saw you at a park store okay yeah you look like you work at a park you do really look like if i saw you at a park i would i bet if you walked around a park people would ask you they just if you wore that yeah people would come up and ask you about park stuff what's wrong with this no i'm just saying just regular you're that obvious that you don't, your face would still be like, I bet he works here.

Like the guy with the Kmart face? Like the Kmart. You have a park face. Sears of Lebanon State Park? Yeah. Yeah. I could see it. You see it? Yeah, people get it.

Carlos Scholl. Jared Leto's method acting actually caused the production of his new Morbius movie to be delayed it was getting so bad that they had to push him in a wheelchair

to shorten his bathroom breaks because his character has a disability that's unbelievable isn't that movie supposed to be real bad too I don't know is it out I think it's out it's out it's number one real bad too i don't know is it out i think

it's out it's abs number one of the box i think uh i don't know i feel bad i think al madrigal's in it oh yeah okay yeah i heard he was great i wasn't i mean that's i'm not trashing recovery al magical uh yeah al madrigal is great uh that's so funny. I mean, that's crazy. They're like, all right, man. Titus Halls Faster. Hello, folks. I totally understand a new dad making every mistake. When my son was born, we walked into the grocery store, and when we grabbed the cart, my wife asked, where is Laramie? Laramie.

I was white as a ghost and realized I left my kid in the car we rushed out to meet our content baby boy sleeping soundly you'll be great parents keep up the great work and thanks for entertaining entertaining this mailman uh yeah i mean that's a big fear you leave it in the car have you done that before or anything like that no i But, you know, a lot of bad parents do. Like Titus? Titus and Bates. Well, I haven't done it. Well, you're going to.

No, I think people leave the... I remember the thing where you're going like, all right, you get to a point, you're running into a convenience, the gas station. And you're like, do I go get to a point you're like you're running into like a convenience the gas station and you're like do i go get her you know i'm just going or you pull up to like a little store and you're like i'm just running there and going back you're like you start doing that and you're like i'm just leaving the car for two seconds and then you know but at first you don't and then you start doing it but i i he's not a bad parent i that's got i mean wild amount of parents can do that stuff and when when you're fresh, when you're new, you know, it is crazy. Like you forget to – it's a thing that you've got to get into the habit of getting.

I remember years and years ago as a kid, we all went to a football game as a family. And then we got home. We were sitting in the living room. Somebody was like, where's Daniel? It's my youngest brother. My dad was like, oh, man. He just totally forgot him at the game. Had to drive back. He was just walking around alone in the dark. He was like, where's Daniel? It's my youngest brother. My dad was like, oh, man. He just totally forgot him at the game. Had to drive back.

He was just walking around alone in the dark. He was like seven years old. I think, yeah, that happens a ton. And you're just, if you have a bunch of kids and you don't know, and you're just like, yeah, you forget. Is he the one that went to Purdue? Yeah, he's the one that went to Purdue. Now we know.

That is true. I would have went to Purdue, too. You won't forget me now. Yeah, I don't think you're, you know, I feel like you'd be too. You won't forget me now. Yeah. I don't think you're, you know, I feel like you'll be sitting in the backseat with your kid. Me? I don't know.

I just thought of that. It sounded like an insult. I don't know if it was or not, but it sounded very funny that you're just always in the backseat with your kid. Ruth drives everywhere. Someone's driving. Ruth's driving. You know, you're starting to not,

you're going to get to a point where you can't drive. You know, they're like, hey, you shouldn't drive anymore. Someone's driving. Ruth's driving. You know, you're starting to not... You're going to get to a point where you can't drive. They're like, hey, she won't drive anymore. And then they... I forgot to mention, when I got home, we got home to the hospital. I had to go pick up some medicine. We'd been in the hospital for four days. I was like, why did I smell gas? The squirrels had bitten through my gas line again. Again. Wow.

Never got to the bottom of this. Apparently not. What'd you do to get rid of them? We did everything people suggested. Put out fake snakes. We put out mothballs. We spray. I'm back to spraying now. This rodent repellent.

Yeah. I'm going to have to build a garage because it's going to cost me more. Yeah. And the car repairs. I mean, just move. I've never, I don't know. I just never, it's so funny to never have this and you are getting a full-blown attack. This is such a big problem.

It's such a big problem. Did you order fake snakes on Amazon or something? I did. Okay. And you laid those out all around the car? We've got like two, one by our car and one by our dad's car. Her dad's like moving it now. He thinks the squirrels are onto it, so he's moving it, but he doesn't tell anybody.

So I'll just be going to the mailbox and I just jump out of my skin because her dad's moved it. Well, then y'all are going to get, you're going to have a real snake one day and be like, come on. And then grab it. I know. Yeah. Retracting snakes.

Cause they're like, oh, there's snakes. You know, I'll tell you where everybody's cool with your snake. The old bait house. They're invited. Yeah, they don't care. They love it. Hawks find out. Yeah.

Emma McPhail. McPhail. Did you skip Russell? Russell Gajos. Gajos, probably. Aaron being flabbergasted that someone from another country would travel to Maryland was the exact amount of geography knowledge I expected from Nate Land. If you're close enough to go to the Baltimore Aquarium,

you're likely less than an hour from D.C., also known as the nation's capital. If you were to pick any other country in the world and tell people you were standing in near the capital city that would make perfect sense only on nateland would that person be mocked for three minutes for being an idiot another classic i like to say that's i did not you said only on aaron lane oh only on only on aaron's right on nateland everybody treats you with the utmost respect on aaron lane we trash we're open-minded well the guy didn't say i'm i i vacationed in the dc area he said i went to maryland and if you go to arlington well that's arlington virginia so that's right across yeah you would say the dc area right it it didn't i

understand where maryland is relative to dc you sound like you do it's on the same coast yeah you know and they're mary and you're Aron Land. You also have land. Mary Land, Aron Land. Mary Land. This will be a Mary Land podcast, and I guess don't go listen to that because Aaron doesn't think it's worth it.

I will only vacation in Maryland. So, Emma McPhail. Hello, folks. Per Jellum may very well be the world's tallest operatic tenor, but my brother-in-law has got to be Nateland's tallest fan at 7'1". My sister and he got married last year. She is 5'4", and is standing on the seat in the car. P.S. He's an accountant.

There you go. There you go. Oh, wow. Oh, she's standing on the seat of the car. There you go. There you go. Oh, wow. Oh, she's standing on the seat of the car. That's crazy. And he's standing on the side of it kissing her, and their heads are level. Level, yeah. Seven foot one.

That's tall. Yeah, I don't think that's going to be beat. Yeah. Man. Yeah, that's how when I i saw like al uh al wilson in football he's standing over like a ford explorer and he had his hands on the top of it like it looked like you know like you just he was like relaxing on a table yeah like a bar but it was like a ford explorer and then yeah that's tall uh congratulations on uh getting married that's a cool car uh which one did you want let's

just do this. Melody Trippett. I bought airline tickets and rented a house for the Nateland Live from Zany's. Then my boyfriend and I broke up. Now I have to try to find someone to go with me. I'm going to have to put up with them. I'm going to have to put up with them for four days. Melody Trippett. She wants someone to go with her.

She got airline tickets and rented a house. So if anybody wants to go, I mean, but Melody, don't just take, you know, we don't want something. Yeah, we need a bit of a screening process here. Don't just take a random weirdo. Yeah, but maybe Melody's the weirdo. Yeah. And the other, maybe, you know what?

She's got her boyfriend. How about the other three? Maybe go easy because you're like, well, what's Melody about? We don't know what anybody's about, you know what her boyfriend how about the other three maybe go easy because you're like well what's melody about we don't know what anybody's about you know so but melody you know we'll get her she'll reach out to you we'll meet melody at the show uh and hopefully she finds get some friends you know get some friends and uh find a new boyfriend uh it's next week so you gotta move moving quick you know just be like oh man i think this has been going great he's like yeah these past couple days have been fun would you like to get married and go to the nateland live from zany's i have a house uh for four days for four days uh

see if you want to go do that that's uh yeah next week next week's the big next week live podcast also mike vecchione special we are taping uh and i'm directing mike vecchione special mike was just with me this weekend mike's so funny it's it's going to be so good if you like my comedy if you know it's like if you get the idea of what we're doing here uh it's it's going to be will enjoy this, and it will be wonderful. Mike's an unbelievable comedian. I mean, I've been doing it for a very long time, and just seasoned, and just, it's super fun. So go to Zany's 7, 930 show.

I want to say, look, there's tickets, I think, for both. 7 might be close, 930, but just come out. It's a big help for us. It's the first thing I'm doing as Nate Land Productions, and I'm happy to be, you know, I'm happy to start this venture off with Mike Vecchione, something that I was, like, confident enough, like, if it messes up, it will be my fault, not his fault. So that was, I got a lot to prove.

Is that the main thing you ask? Like, you just go, no, this sounds great. I know you're looking at me. Do you want to know how much I weigh? And the guy goes, we don't do that. Here you go. You take your hat off. You go, you got yourself a client.

And then. Yeah. I mean, when you go to the doctor, you're like, I'll do it. But you're like, man, I hate that they're just going to weigh me. I'm going in for like a cold. And they're like, let's weigh him. But like you're, as we, you know, we make fun of you. I make fun of you a lot about it.

But I mean, I make fun of you because you've lost so much weight. It's insane. But like, so now, I mean, I don't, you're, even then, you're a big dude. Like, I don't think you would ever weigh under 200, right? Unless you got ridiculously skinny. Oh, I don't know. I haven't been under 200 since probably sophomore year high school. I don't think you ever would.

I mean, you're tall. You're just a big guy. I would imagine 200 would even be healthy. I'm sure The Thing might say under, because they always say, like, something crazy. Yeah, what you're supposed to be based on your height. Yeah, if I were, like, 180 or something, it would probably look weird. Yeah.

It would be insane. Yeah. I would still do the fat stuff, though. I'd commit to it. You know, we're already in too deep. I do like the idea of an insurance person to come over and he just sees you. And he's like, no, we don't ask. But then he's trying to figure out your weight.

And then he's just like, you just film. Like at one point, he just tries to pick you up. And you're like, what are you doing? He goes, I thought something, I dropped something. And he's like. Could you turn it off for a second? And that's what they write. They go, when you try to grab him them how much of his shoes did you get

off the ground and you're like and the guy's like i mean i think they went farther down and he writes that down they don't have a number though that's marked in they went farther and he he's like hey aaron you ever been skydiving yeah yeah you have to pay extra and they ask you just those they can't we can't ask what your way is uh we can beat around the bush southwest you bring your own belt who brings their own seat belt extended i think i got it i think people should you would do that you just walk on it by yourself you privately put it on you don't have to wave

someone down strapped like a wrestler over your shoulder yeah like a wrestling belt and you just walk in be proud of it champion

you know champion yeah yeah being an trying to figure out the weight without being able to ask

would be we met with a financial planner today. We're working on stuff for Eleanor. And this was over Zoom, but I zoned out for a while. Yeah. And I'm usually pretty good. It's all your daughter's future, but go ahead. I know, I know.

And I'm pretty good usually if someone calls me. I can listen to the last thing they said and pick up on it. But today he said something I hadn't listened to for a while. And then Ruth was like, yeah, what do you think, Brian? And I could not pick up the cues. The only thing I can remember him saying was POA, which I was trying to think, what is POA, POA, which now I know is power of attorney. But I could not.

And I was like, yeah, I think we should do it. I have no. And I was like, yeah, I think we should do it. I have no idea what we just signed up for. I think we should do it. I think we should give her POA right now. She's a little young for that, don't you think, Brad? Eleanor is going to be drafted when she turns 18. And he's like, what? She's off to war.

I mean, yeah. I just usually say, say that one more time sorry uh i was thinking about the earlier thing you like to say something like that then they go and if you're doing it over zoom you got a million built-in excuses yeah i think it cut out there for a second can you do it but she heard it perfectly oh well but she's on team you so yeah she wouldn't we just explain it one more time and then you, and then it could be you do that. I think Rue's having a little trouble understanding this. Can you explain it to her for a little bit?

Yeah. Like you're five years old. Yeah. I don't know if you can tell because of the Zoom connection. My wife's a woman, so she's not getting it all. But could you tell her one more time? You just insult her and just keep going. And they're like, all right.

Was it a woman or a man telling you? It was a man. Oh. So he didn't liked that probably. Yeah. Is he old? No. Oh, he wouldn't have liked that. You need someone.

My age or older? Someone your age. Yeah, someone your age or older, I think, for you to make a. High-fiving through the screen. Yeah, make one of those jokes work. So this week, we figured Easter is coming up And taxes are coming up So we're going to talk about Easter and taxes

Which is a fun Combination Everybody thinks about them together Easter you know Do they always fall around the same time Well do you know when Easter falls It's something based on Whenever the Pope wants to do it Now didn easter falls it's something based on uh whenever the pope wants

to do it no we didn't talk about this on the calendar episode fills it out he fills it out every year so that's why sometimes they go to july because the pope just goes i don't know i'm just not feeling it yet he was about that's like the groundhog we just see when the Pope comes out and he goes, six months to Easter. And you go, I already bought a basket. Is it something to do with the sun? Isn't it? The moon. Okay.

Okay. So I'm not far off. Yeah. You laughed at him like that was dumb. And then you're like, I was about to jump in and be like, this idiot. You think it's the sun? You're like, it's the moon. Oh, I didn't know the sky was going to jump in and be like, this idiot. You think it's the sun? You're like, no, it's the moon. Oh, I didn't know the sky was going to be involved. Well, the difference is I send him my notes, so I can tell how much you read.

Well, I know enough. I got some stuff to pull up, but I also like a little lively discussion about it. Yeah. Come on, Brian. Easter is the one holiday that, besides the spring, I have no idea generally. Like every other one, you can kind of guess. It's considered a movable feast. Okay.

I'm listening. All right. It can be anywhere between March 22nd and April 25th. March 22nd, April 25th. Wow. And it falls whenever the first Sunday after the first full moon after the start of spring. First Monday. First Sunday.

After the first full moon after the start of spring. So you just got to see where that full moon is going to be. So the Pope, does the Pope have to stay up every night? How do we know so early? You know what I mean? Like, would they not? Like, how's the Pope not out there? And he goes, now, now, now, now and he goes now now now now and then we're like go go go go go go go and like you gotta pick it yeah i think we know ahead of time when it's gonna be a full moon so how far out do

we know about the full moon this says 5.7 million years we already know that far out that's what it says according to this i mean the space the space supposed to be this crazy thing we already figured out quite a bit we know where the moon's doing forever i just watched the thing about like what's going to happen to like where will earth be in like 10 000 years and five you know five million years all this stuff and they're like i don't know maybe this that all this crazy stuff you know well we know what the moon they're like, I don't know, maybe this, that, all this crazy stuff. Well, we know what the moon's up to, so why don't we just maybe buddy up with the moon and be like, well, you're a loser that doesn't do anything.

So what are you going to do? I'll be right here just hanging out. Is a full moon, is it where we're seeing it? Where it's full. Yeah. Where you see the whole. Is that clouds? But it's like.

Clouds don't count. See, I always thought. I only went off on clouds. So if clouds were covered, I'd go, well. You thought full moon just meant, like, there's no clouds in the sky? I don't think I ever thought. I never thought past it. And so I would only, if I could see the moon and it was full,

I would notice it. And I only see it when there's no clouds. So I never counted it with clouds or not clouds. Why would it really matter to me if there's, as far as seeing it? You go, it's a full moon tonight. You're like, well, that looks like a thumbnail up there. I'm like, yeah, but it's clear skies. So it's a full moon.

Yeah. That's what I would do. Full moons are much rarer to you. Yeah. You want to see them here and there. So what day is Easter going to be? This is on the Gregorian calendar. March 22nd through April 25th. Someone wanted to do the Ethiopian calendar.

Yeah, somebody did suggest that. Their calendar must be crazy. I think we maybe mentioned it briefly on the calendar. Yeah, somebody did suggest that. Yeah, their calendar must be crazy. Yeah, I think we maybe mentioned it briefly on the calendar. But Eastern Orthodox Church celebrates Easter on the Julian calendar. So theirs is April 4th through May 8th, their range. Yeah. What is the Ethiopian? Oh, Ethiopian calendar is seven years behind?

Where's that? In the question. A gap of seven to eight years between the Ethiopian and Gregorian calendars result from an alternative calculation in determining the date of the annunciation. Is this how you say it? No, not... They spent seven to eight years arguing, like, well, how do you pronounce it? You're not saying it right and he goes and they it was just seven eight years of like oh my gosh uh he's like the

ithopian you're like we're never gonna get to the bottom of this and they would leave until finally we all agreed ethiopian and everybody's going to the table ethiopian okay we can start how far back are we? Seven, eight years? I don't know what y'all have been doing in this room. Not the pronunciation, dude. They couldn't agree on how to pronounce it? That's so funny.

You're like, well, why don't we just get started and everybody can say it how they want to say it. They go, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're not. We will start it when everybody can agree how we speak it. And it took seven to eight years, finally got through. And they go, we're beginning. And they started at 01. You're like, dude, the other places are so far ahead of us.

They're at eight. They're at eight already. And we look ridiculous. And they go, do we? We're the only ones saying it right. And maybe they are right. They're all en. They're at eight already. And we look ridiculous. And they go, do we? Yeah. We're the only ones saying it right. And maybe they are right. They're all enunciating it differently.

Yeah, they're all enunciating it different. Oh, man. Okay. That was great. Someone wrote it in. So I wrote that in. That was good. Yeah.

Yeah, there we go. I feel like we maybe. But why? So what is that? I thought we talked about this on the calendar episode. I know like Afghanistan, they're different than us. They're behind. I feel like we maybe... But why? So what is that? I thought we talked about this on the calendar episode. I know Afghanistan, they're different than us. They're behind. I thought they were like 600 years or something behind.

We can't even agree on that. It's not a good sign. So what does that mean, the results from... The enunciation of Jesus. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's a big deal. So they just think it was a different time. Yeah, they had a different calculation for when that happened.

Okay. Yeah. I didn't know what that meant. Did you think it meant pronunciation? I didn't think it meant pronunciation, but I didn't know what it meant. Yeah. I'm glad you were here. Yeah.

That was so funny. Sometimes you don't know what it means. It's good to just guess and maybe that'll be funny for people to listen to uh you know maybe a fun joke oh it wasn't throw it out there hilarious i'm just telling brian he's like he doesn't know what it means like yeah that's when you uh make a joke about it you know just sit and wait for the notre dame grad to come in and his whole education is just knowing what these words mean that's a big part of it yeah yeah so this is uh do people use enunciation a lot you've heard it like it's the resurrection

and then the enunciation yeah yeah i guess the assumption yeah i don't i truly don't think i pay attention to i don't i think i'm i'm day by day. Did you guys do Lent? Do you do Lent growing up? That's Catholic. Is that just a Catholic? Yeah. I think my parents might have when they were. Okay.

If they grew up that way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My dad would. But we didn't give anything up or anything before. No, we usually did more. Time to turn it on.

Yeah. No, we didn't. No. I remember like Catholics doing it and it was always like i guess you know it would be but people did it like i feel like it gets to like people just trying to lose weight or something that's what it turns into yeah we did it real strictly as kids but yeah i don't know i just stopped stop caring i'm not against it. I almost wouldn't mind getting Harper to do it just to, like, you know, builds that kind of, like, I don't know, self-control.

This is not about you. It's not about, you know, you're giving something up that you like. Give up, like, Cokes or candy or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or my dad was. Y'all drink a lot of Cokes at, like, seven, eight years old? Six? A little older than that, maybe.

In the bottle? Early tens. Early tens. You know? Yeah. Drink some Diet Cokes, stuff like that, you know? I love it. I mean, I think I might have too, but it is very funny to think.

No one wants you to drink any Cokes now. Back then, you're like, I got to give them up. It's going to be tough. Yeah, kids, five-year-olds have Diet Mountain Dew. Now, you can always tell when Easter's coming up because you start seeing on TV, you start seeing commercials for the Filet-O-Fish at McDonald's. That's why they started selling that. Because Lent,

Catholics are not supposed to eat meat on Fridays during Lent, so they start pushing that fish sandwich. So there's people that are going to McDonald's every day. There's a big Catholic population that only eats at McDonald's. And they, McDonald's sales were

just getting crushed on that Friday. So they go, we got to come up with something. These people have a problem. They're not coming here. So let's give them another option. We got to give them, yeah, we got to let them know we have a meat-free delicious option here. And all the other fast food restaurants started following suit.

Yeah. You know? It's that big of a thing. Yeah. There's a lot of Catholics. There's a lot. Yeah. There's a lot.

About a billion. Yeah. That's crazy. I don't know how many. Is it the most? Now we talk about it. There's more. We're more Muslims.

Yeah. Than just Catholics, but all Christians together. Probably. Probably. I think there's more. Yeah. Yeah. Because we're all the same boat.

Essentially. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're going the same way. Yeah. Y'all's more. Yeah. Yeah. Because we're all the same boat. Essentially. Yeah. Yeah. We're going the same way. Yeah. Y'all's- We might be in different cars. Y'all's party's a little bit more, and it has to do weird stuff because y'all's just

maniacs, and then you have to go, okay, give up all this stuff for this. And you're like, how about you just live a reasonable life and not get drunk during church on Sunday? There you go. Maybe that's it. Did you do Ash Wednesday? We do Ash Wednesday. You still do that?

That's what starts Lent. But do you do the ash on the forehead? That's what they do every Ash Wednesday at Mass. Would you ever, if y'all were lazy, just put a match out at home? And pretend that you went to Mass that day? That's pretty smart. I bet people could do it. Thought of doing that, yeah.

They take the palms. Palm Sunday is the Sunday before Easter. Yeah. Where they give everybody palms at mass. Yeah. And then they burn those palms, and that's where the ash comes from for Ash Wednesday, the next year. Yeah. Oh, the next year. Yeah, so that's like palm ash that you're putting on your forehead.

Does anyone ever mistake, like, you just have something on your – because I've seen – I'm being serious. I've seen people, and my first thought is, like, oh, they've got something on their forehead they don't even know. It's fun to see, like, Tony Reale on Around the Horn every year. Yeah, he always does it. He always has it on his forehead. It's kind of a cool thing.

Yeah, I've seen that. Yeah, they're – yeah, I like it. I would see a lot of people. Like, in New York, you just see it. Yeah, everywhere. They just walk around. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

But everybody knows. I mean, you just then you see it so much that you're like, yeah, you're just not. Don't even think anything of it. You don't even think anything about it. Mm-hmm. But Lebanon, you would have been like. Well, I never saw it in Lebanon. Yeah.

No, no. So you would have, yeah, you left here, you'd be like. Mm-hmm. Did you ever see it anywhere? I mean, it was when I was living in Nashville and one of my coworkers, I'm like, should I tell him that he's got ink on his head or just let him go about? And then I realized later that's a little cross symbol. Yeah.

Okay. But so this is Holy Week. Every day is, yesterday was Palm Sunday. Wednesday, you know what Wednesday is? is... Yesterday was Palm Sunday. Wednesday. You know what Wednesday is? No, I don't. Spy Wednesday. What is Spy Wednesday?

Because Judas was a spy. Wow. So we get to do that? Yeah. Oh. Yeah. What do you do there? What do you do?

I've never heard of this. I think it's called maybe something else, but... It's basically Spy Wednesdaynesday yeah yeah are you joking about no i'm serious i'm serious okay in christianity holy wednesday commemorates the bargain of judas by a clandestine spy among the disciples it is also called spy wednesday or good wednesday or great and holy wednesday yeah spy wednesday sounds the, Spy Wednesday sounds the best. Yeah, it sounds the best, but I think you're going to do, I mean, is it like, you know, like, hey, let's have some fun today? I don't think it's like a fun day, no.

Yeah. None of these, Holy Week, none of these days are that fun. I don't understand why, so Good Friday is commemorating the, I mean, the crucifixion. Right. Why do they call it Good Friday? It seemed like it should be called bad Friday. It was a good thing that he did. And Easter should be called good Sunday.

I feel like one of the disciples didn't watch the news that day and he showed up. Good Friday, right? Did you hear the news? So it's just good because of what he sacrificed. Right, it was what he did. It was ultimately good. It is always funny, the name, though,

because it's like the worst thing that could happen. Well, it's Good Friday. Monday, Thursday. You guys know that? Monday? Am I saying that right? I don't know. I don't know.

I've never heard that. Is that right? Monday. Monday, Thursday. It's... Sounds like you get like half off poppers at Chili's. Sounds like you get like half-off poppers at Chili's. Y'all going to Monday, Thursday?

What's that? Half-off margaritas. Well, all right. If you get a cross, you get one free. Buy one, get one free. I would get a bogo. Yeah, bogo. Monday, Thursday.

Monday is Latin for mandate, and Jesus gave us a mandate to love each other. Oh, okay. I thought he was going to wear a mask. Even back then. A mask mandate. A mask mandate. You're like, God, dang gum it, Jesus. He goes, well, it's just, you know, you never know. The last supper they all had in the past.

Put it back up between bites. Can we take them and eat? He goes, well, just chew and if you don't mind. We all got to sit on the same side of this table. Yeah. So Easter was a pagan holiday that the Catholic Church just kind of took over because they're like, we could get these pagans to get on board with us. We could add some people.

Right. You can still have your party, but let's funnel it to something good here. So, yeah, Easter, it comes from the goddess Astori, the goddess of spring and fertility. Okay. And then Catholics just bought it almost. Like purchased the holiday? Bought the rights.

Yeah. It's a little bit like Halloween where – It's like AT&T buying DirecTV. A rights. Yeah, like, yeah, it was, you know. It's a little bit like Halloween where. It's like AT&T buying DirecTV. Like you're like. A merger. Yeah, it's a merger. And then we just. But we're going to keep our name.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Crush the Pagans. Yeah. They're not anywhere. You know, like you don't see them or hear about them as much. And if they would have held on to this holiday on their own, they would have been. They'd be killing it.

They'd be killing it right now. They'd be doing okay. Yeah. We kept their brand name, but we run everything so that the reason we do, I never knew this, the Easter eggs and the Easter bunny and all that. I always wonder what they're associated with.

It's all about fertility and spring bringing new life and jesus rising from the grave yeah okay so eggs are birth rabbits are known to be good procreators so they think that's what all that came from it fits but i mean it fits because it would i there's no other way i would know yeah yeah where do where do the where's the easter Where does the Easter bunny get the eggs from? Because it doesn't make eggs. Easter bunnies don't? No. No.

I think I would have probably just assumed it. I Googled that today. I've never, yeah. Yeah, I would have done that. Because I thought they would ask, and I'm like, I'm 99% sure they don't, but I want to make sure. See? That's how fun it's at.

I think a couple mammals do. It's not a crazy thought. A marsupial. A marsupial, yeah. Platypus. They lay eggs. What is it? What is it? What is it?

It's a bunny. It just has the... It's a bunny? Yeah, it bursts it live. I'm guessing it bursts a litter like a cat does. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

The pregnancy phase is 30 days. And then, so... Oh, yeah. That is interesting. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The pregnancy phase is 30 days. And then so, oh, yeah, that is interesting. Yeah. I thought they sat on them, kept them warm. Made them colors. Yeah. Yeah. Painted them.

This one's blue and yellow. Yeah. They're like, we don't know the gender, but we know the race before it's born. It's an egg. the race before it's born. It's an egg. Yeah, so the Germans brought over the Eastern bunny to America in the 1700s, but

it was their tradition there. Oh, so this was not even pagan. German just goes, hey, we do this. Do you want to do this? Yeah, and they just kind of spread here. But the reason is because rabbits are – It's so crazy. How do they spread in all this?

Like just what German comes up and goes, oh, y'all do Easter? He goes, we do like bunnies and stuff. And he goes, oh, man, we should try to do that. I bet it's like your neighborhood. And I guess it is. You start doing it. You don't want to be the one family left out. Or you like it.

You go, I like that. And you represent this and you start gathering it. But but we're not introducing any more new stuff right like there's not uh someone going what if we do you know um you know elf on the shelf's fairly new oh yeah yeah that's true they didn't have that when you're growing up we didn't have santa claus when i was yeah yeah yeah i was in high school but originally they uh had nest instead of baskets easter egg they had easter nest and they they would decorate them and color them but they put them in nest i guess they they were supposed to come from the easter. Interesting. You can still kind of see that because the Easter baskets are like usually

wicker baskets that look like nests. And then that green stuff on the inside looks like, it makes me think of a nest. Yeah. I guess it is grass. I thought it was like a nest thing. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know. So the white house does the Easter egg roll every year. It's the Monday after Easter. That started in the 1800s where kids would go up on Capitol Hill and see who could roll an egg down the furthest without it breaking. It became such a tradition that 10,000 children did it one day on Capitol Hill, and congressmen and lawmakers were so upset that they were disrupting stuff and damaging the lawn and stuff like that, that they passed the turf protection law to prevent kids or anyone from coming on Capitol grounds unannounced.

That's still in effect. And two years later, though, the president, Rutherford B. Hayes, told the guards, just let the kids come into the White House backyard and do it here. That's cool. And ever since, it's been the White House. Yeah. They roll an egg down the hill. Mm-hmm. My dad did a show once at the White House for Easter, I believe.

Now it's a big thing. They bring in bands and all kinds of stuff, celebrities. But that's how it started in the late 1800s. Wow. That's cool. Easter is the second best-selling candy holiday in America after Halloween.

Yeah, it's a good candy day. You got a favorite? I didn't tell her about cheese, but also those other gummy worms That are Are gummy bears Haribo

Haribos That are the sour ones Oh yeah For Easter? No Just for everyday Those are like amazing too I've cut down on sour

Because I mean I'm Losing weight Which by the way I'm Well I don't know where I'm at But I'm probably close to 180

Alright I was at 194. How's it going for you, Ryan? It was doing pretty good until I had a baby. Right. Things have kind of shifted the wrong direction now. Yeah. Well, or maybe the right direction.

Yeah. Maybe you've reprioritized things in your life a little bit. It's a lot of late night eating. I'll say that. Yeah. Okay. 16 billion jelly beans are made in the U.S. each year just for Easter. It surprises me that Easter is bigger than Valentine's Day for candy.

I probably would have bet my life that Valentine's Day was two. It's only chocolate, though. Like, Valentine's, it's like, that's really the only thing it is. You got the little sweet tart things that say be mine. Yeah, but it's not a, but it's flowers, it's chocolates. It's like kind of the same thing where easter is you're getting skittles and you know gummy stuff and all that i would have thought more people celebrated valentine's day than easter that's because you don't have kids

and like uh yeah i yeah you think like valentine's day is like a big deal and then you're you don't care about it at all. We don't even talk to each other on Valentine's Day. So that's the present is. I've always worked on Valentine's Day. Valentine's is always a good day to work. Now people go out on dates, but it's like usually kids are not involved. And then so Easter is about children.

So it's about when you do something for, you know, when you buy something for your wife like it's gonna be flowers it's gonna be uh i mean i'm not saying i would have known this for sure but when you think about it it's it makes sense easter's like you go if you go home and you go see all your you know there's grandkids and all this stuff it's it's a bunch of kids and like you're hiding eggs each egg has a gum uh something in it you know it's like kind of the door wheel thing maybe you want to talk about it for a long time with you and your friends as y'all sit and accomplish nothing uh

do y'all do a big easter egg hunt with your family we do we have our family's all about games so we make everything a game everything's something what if we do this let's do this uh i've realized i do it and i don't ever i never thought about then i'm like oh yeah i'll do it my family we will it's you know when we go if we swim the kids were like all right i mean i got when we went on vacation a couple weeks ago or something i get in with our neighbors the neighbor's girls and harper and i'm like all right who can swim underwater back like it's never just like chilling out it's like let's try to do something everything's a big game uh so we do it my we do now we hide the eggs for all the kids and then they but the eggs just have it's whoever gets the most eggs, and then we let them go pick candy. So instead of the candies and the eggs, it's like they come up to us,

and then we let them – and it's a big – they get to choose it. We have it out there, and they do like a snake kind of. Is there a golden egg? I think there is. There's a few that have money in it, $5 or something, which the kids just throw away now. It's like wasting my time. Incination. $5 or something, which the kids just throw away now. It's like a waste of my time. Insulation.

$5. Bitcoin's where it's at. $20 is the new $5. I mean, we get $5, but I just feel like kids are, I mean, I got paid five bucks to mow the grass and that was a lot. And I remember being like, $5 meant a lot to me. And I think to get a kid to mow the grass now,

I mean, you would have to be 20 i would bet like because that's going to at least feel like a lot to the kid so that's what i was getting paid when i was 20 20 25 bucks when i was in middle school i got paid five i didn't get paid on my yard i don't even cover the gas well i mean I mean, this was just my neighbor's yard. Okay. She paid me $5. You got paid to mow your own yard? No, this was the guy up the street. Yeah. But I'm saying you don't even come out in the black if you're only getting $5 now.

There's no business. This is not a business back then. She was an older lady. There was a mix of that. She paid $5. I did it for that reason. Okay. But I don't even think back then you were thinking of it like a full-on business.

There's too much business mind. Like, sometimes it's like you're doing stuff to be like, you're just doing it to make $5. I didn't pay for the gas. Like, I get the idea of teaching someone how you got to charge this much to get the gas. But when we did it, it was like'm hell it was i'm either gonna have to mow this yard this lady's yard for free but we would i might i would have had to do that yeah

and then instead of doing that it's like i think she wanted to pay so i'd go up miss gibbons and i'd go up and she's a little she pulled a little thing out hand me five dollars and it was a lot i actually rip it up and throw it thanks for nothing no no five dollars was a lot I remember it being it was it was like man five dollars was you know maybe you would have thought

a dollar you know something would have been not a much but five dollars was yeah it was a lot the largest Easter egg hunt

ever 500,000 eggs searched by just under 10,000 children at Cypress Gardens in Winter Haven, Florida. Spray's still mowing over some of those eggs. Deesh. Cadbury eggs.

You guys fans of those? I haven't had one in a long time. I don't think I am, but I would try it again. Yeah. I'm not a not a big cream filled something guy yeah that's what they are what are these oh cadbury but canterbury like canterbury tails yeah that's dumb what are these these are just chocolate stuff that y'all don't talk about in school you talk about enunciation but you don't you don't talk about in school. You talk about enunciation, but you don't talk about just what you call the little people eat.

No, I'm saying that you're so highbrow at Notre Dame that someone goes, did you ever have Cadbury eggs? And you are just like, you know, everybody's came from money, and they're like, I ate real eggs. Is that what you mean? And you're like, no, this is what poor people eat. We go to Walmart. We steal them. We each take a lick, and you would just look down.

We just pass one around, us non-college-educated folk, and then you're up there. You ride your horse home from Notre Dame. There was a game in the Middle Ages, they said, where the priest would have all the boys pass an egg around, and whoever at midnight had it in their hand got to actually eat it. The rest of them went home hungry. What time would they start it?

I don't know. You didn't think to look into that? That sounds like the worst game of all time. What time? They started at 11 o'clock? They started at 11.59? Yeah. It's's like musical chairs but the winner gets to eat yeah and the rest of the kids just starve yeah do you know the commercial where the kid goes thank you easter bunny bark bark do you know i don't know maybe it's a famous commercial yeah from era. Yeah, I think so. It aired during the A-team. Yeah.

Yeah. It did, actually. Yeah. I'm sure it did. But Chocolate Bunnies is the most sold. And where do you start on the anatomy of the bunny when you eat it? Take the head off first. Dehumanize it as quickly as possible.

Oh, God. That's the strong one. That seems aggressive boss yeah yeah what do you do start at the toes and just torture it to death you do you tie it up in a chair first and get all the answers you want and then you eat bite the head off i go right in it's like it's it's what's the most humane way to put down an animal yeah you just gotta bite it off at the neck so you could fit ears and head into your mouth well it depends on what we're talking about and that's how far yeah i could see that being your answer you don't eat the little stuff you're

like let's jump right like i'm gonna eat the head and then you're like okay but you gotta get to the ears and you're like don't worry about those ears i'll get them yeah you kind of stumped me here because i'll figure a way in it's this 76 percent of americans bought off the ears first they did not mention the head yeah it's a whole so he's a part of that and he's also that other percentage that goes ahead and gets that head out of the way so whatever that is 76 it's like it's 76 is on its own and then there's this other like one guy there's gonna be there's gonna be a group of guys in the the walk-in cooler that are like y'all do the head too right and they go yeah obviously you go yeah that's yeah y'all are

afraid to talk about it outside of the walk-in cooler but you go inside and be like y'all y'all eat the head too uh yeah i always buy one i mean uh i don't remember ever going like it never i don't remember if i ever was like i'm such a the opposite kind of fan of candy but i do like it and i would eat i would eat it now for sure i get one for harper and because it's you know it heartburn because it's a classic. I will say those variations of the candy bars for Easter, they do them for Christmas too, the different shapes. I think they taste better. I don't know what it is.

Candy bars for Easter? I think the Reese's that's in the shape of an egg, that's better than a regular Reese's. I would always get Reese's. My parents would always give me, they still do, give me Reese's cups. And then, yeah,

they do taste. You know, I don't really eat Reese's cups now outside of that Easter. But if I have them, but I mean, I'm all about, I'm just too much gummy.

I'm going to get some, I'll go crazy. Easter. Yeah, I'll probably be a little cheat day. I'll get some of those Haribo. What are they called? Harbo? I'll get some of those Haribo. What are they called? Haribo?

Haribo. Yeah, like caribou. Some kind of Haribo. Gummy bears. Sounds like you make it on your own. You know what a Haribo, how's it called? Haribo. Haribo. You say Haribo, and I'm like, no, no, no, I'm Buddy Haribo.

He makes this, these gummy no. My buddy Haribo. He makes these gummy bears. You go, oh, okay. So that's Easter. All right, that wraps it up. Good enough? I think so. That's a lot of good stuff. Not a lot of Jesus talk, though.

Oh, you want more Jesus talk? Well, there just wasn't much. Let's talk about the Annunciation real quick. I'll say this. Oh, you want more Jesus talk? Well, there just wasn't much. Let's talk about the Annunciation real quick. I'll say this.

There are two artifacts from the crucifixion that are supposedly in museums now. Yeah. The Crown of Thorns is at the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris. Wow. That's crazy. And it survived that fire from a couple years ago, the one that Graham talked about. Yeah. And then the Shroud of Turin, I think is how it's pronounced, which is the veil that was put over Jesus' face in the tomb.

It's some monastery or something like that in Turin, Italy. Wow. And it shows the outline of- His face. Of what they think is that, yeah. Is that, can you see it? Can you go see it? I think so.

Yeah. Man, that's crazy. You know, it's debated about whether that's actually it. I think they did some carbon dating, and it showed it came from the Middle Ages. But some people believe that... Have you heard of this, Aaron? I have, yeah.

That's the image of Jesus. The crown of thorns, I mean, that's pretty wild. Yeah, have you heard of this aaron i have yeah that's the image of jesus the crown of thorns is i mean that's that's pretty wild yeah have you heard that i never even heard that and i i mean i don't know if it's how authentic it is but it's on display at the cathedral at notre dame wow or a yeah catholics were big on uh man we love relics and stuff like that. That's a pretty good one. So you're saying most Baptists would have thrown away the crown of thorns? Not the crown. By now. Who needs this thing?

He goes, next. What about the crown of thorns you wore? Who cares? Who is going to want to see that? Are you kidding me, dude? Beat it. We got this crossover here. Oh, my gosh. look how big it is where

are you gonna put it where are you gonna put it give me a sandal let's move on all right that's fair that's fair we love things you've kept them better i'll say that yeah i remember my mom had a necklace with a little piece of a saint's tooth in it. Mm-hmm. And I don't know if non-Catholics are doing that. You wouldn't have a necklace with somebody's tooth. We had alligator teeth, dinosaur teeth, T-Rex teeth. We did stuff like that.

Oh, your puka shell necklace? You'd throw one of those on there? Yeah, we were just buying more stuff that you'd see at like Panama City or something. Like we weren't, yeah, I don't know if we had. I have that cross that's from, it's got sand in it, in the back of it. Sand from what? Jerusalem. Oh, that's cool.

I think. Did your parents bring you that? Yep. That's really cool. And there's a smaller one beside it. They both come from there? I think so. I know the big one does.

But my parents, yeah. I would love to get it. Maybe look at it. Look at the back of it. And then it might say it. I'm just, I can't focus. I can't. I get something and I just forget.

No, it's only $25. Kmart. now there's sand there's sand in it this is the sand oh that is really cool yeah I would love to go to the Holy Lands

yeah I would too there's a little sand right there I think they'd sell it for more than $25 Jerusalem that's right

yeah so there you go that's very cool so yeah let's throw it like I'm joking I would never do it That's very cool So yeah I'm joking I would never do it Like all the hats Like my Notre Dame hat over there

Fake this So that's Easter I can answer any questions if anybody wants Are you like an expert on it? Yeah I'm an expert On Easter I don't know. I can't think of any.

Do you have any? I think you covered just about everything, man. I think I'm ready. All right. Let's move on to taxes. Do you know when tax day is? April 15th. April 18th.

It's generally April 15th. This year, it's April 18th. We're both right. Yeah. But it's always 15. It is. Oh, we met this year. Yeah. But it's always 15. It is. Oh, he meant this year. Yeah.

Why is it 18 this year? Because. COVID. COVID. That's what I thought, too. No, in Washington, D.C. this year, Emancipation Day is on the 15th. So the IRS moved it to the 18th. That's nice of them.

They just move it. You can't move any of your tax stuff around, but they're like, yeah, we're going to move the day a couple of days. Yeah. You go to jail if you of your tax stuff around, but they're like, yeah, we're going to move today a couple of days. You go to jail if you just moved your stuff around. They're like, we're moving a couple of days. It's actually the 19th in Maine and Massachusetts this year because they're celebrating Patriots Day. Can we just do whatever we want now?

Yeah, why don't we let them? Because of Patriots Day? No. What is Patriots Day? The day Tom Brady retired. like the no what is patriots day tom brady retired i think it's a day to honor all the patriots that have served throughout the years but in maine massachusetts this year it's on the patriots day the movie yeah well i don't think it's a holiday right there. Oh, commemorates the battles of Lexington Concord.

Okay. All right. It's a Revolutionary War thing. Yeah. Okay. All right. So you get, you file your taxes, you can get an extension if you want by six months. And I think if you request it, you automatically get it.

Yeah. Oh, that's nice but you know the annoying part of the extension is you still have to tell them what you're going to have to pay them they will give you an extension but like what are you going to owe us you know i don't know that's why i'm extending this because i don't feel like doing it yeah i do it almost every year because i forget yeah until it's too it's too late i go i need that extension but they go you still got to tell us what's going to happen. I go, I haven't done it yet. So you just guess, and then you got to.

You're talking to someone on the phone? No, this is me yelling at my computer screen. Just call the IRS. Hello, Aaron Weber. Oh, boy. There you go. He called back. Here we go.

Yeah, need a couple more days. If you don't mind, I just have been busy with, they're like, work? No, not work. Not work. Trying to not hide your money. Not working. I didn't say anything about work. You said work.

We've been vacationing in Maryland. Our family has a farm up there that they were given that they were given on Patriot's Day. You still have to pay taxes on that farm given to you, by the way. It's an inheritance tax. Unless it was a one-time gift

to your spouse, according to Shawshank Redemption. That's where I learned about that for me that's just a minor uh jack swiger one of the uh astronauts on apollo 13 oh played by kevin bacon in the movie he was a last minute addition right forgot to do his taxes had a call down to mission control and to ask them to call in for an extension. Wow. And they thought he was joking, but he's like, I'm serious.

You have to let them know because I forgot. And they did. Yeah, they gave him an exemption because he was out of the country. Yeah. Is that what they said? Did you know that? I know it from the movie. We watched that movie together.

I don't remember that part. Yeah, it's when things are going bad, he calls in and he's like, hey, they're going to give you an extension jack because you are most decidedly out of the country yeah yeah that's funny it's a good moment so if you get a refund and you don't claim you have three years to claim it so this coming monday april 18th if you had a refund in 2018 that's your deadline or you lose it and there's 1.5 billion dollars worth of unclean tax refunds waiting for 1.5 million americans and if they don't go get it it goes

in the department of treasury and then what do they use that for whatever i don't know now it says 1.5 million americans who did not file their tax returns that year i don't understand how they know they're getting a refund if they didn't file tax yeah it doesn't seem like it's advertised uh that money just goes back like where does it go like some people i get like if you moved and you didn't alert them and they can't find you yeah then it goes in the department of treasury you lose it or some people think hey i earn so little they're not gonna hunt me down yeah if i don't do taxes let's just not do them even if you were getting money back yeah i mean there's got to be some

people not doing taxes like i never know i don't know how to do taxes i don't even know how i would even know how to start it. Yeah. And, like, you know, when you first start, you're either parents are doing it or then you're for you and then you go to, like, wherever, you know, and get it done. What is it? TurboTax? Yeah, yeah, something like that. I did TurboTax for a while when I just had, like, a regular job.

Comedy starts to complicate things so much. Oh, yeah. Where I got, like, dozens and dozens of these forms so i started going like an h&r block somewhere like that and i just go here's all the stuff i'm here to answer any questions yeah but you go ahead and knock all this out for me a little bit uh-huh you're at turbo tax and you're like this career is kind of taking off i gotta go to h&r i need to know something that can handle it i went to hr block hr block that's where garth brooks goes so from what i've heard i hear you guys have garth brooks yeah i've been on the road a lot at the local funny bones and here's my taxes yeah and i get the hr block and a strip

ball in mount juliet that's where garth brooks goes yeah to get things handled are they good i mean yeah i don't know i went for two years to jackson hewitt because it was very close to where i lived and they just hired seasonal workers and i mean it was scary the first year i'm like this is crazy these people i'm giving them all my information because they look like they were just on a work release program. And then the next year, again, I roll around. I'm like, well, I ain't going to go. I mean, they're right down the street. I probably got that one bad person. And I went in there again.

It was the same thing. Oh, man. And I'm like, I don't feel comfortable coming here anymore. Yeah. It was. So you're going back to TurboTax? No, now I have a real accountant. But for two years, I tried them.

And I mean, I think I knew more than they did. Did it work, though? I mean, they fixed, now I have a real accountant. But for two years, I tried them. I mean, I think I knew more than they did. Did it work, though? I mean, they fixed it where I got a refund. If I get audited, I'm going to jail because they don't get blamed for it.

I did. I'm the one who signed it. Yeah, yeah. I was owing, and I was like, that's weird. I get a refund every year. And then I was like,

oh, I left one document at home, and I live next door. And when I came back, he's like, I fixed it. You're getting a refund every year. And then I was like, oh, I left one document at home, and I live next door. And when I came back, he's like, I fixed it. You're getting a refund. Oh, that's awesome. This is questionable if you should even be talking about this on this podcast. Like, where he goes, can I just go in there and go,

that would be funny, Jackson Hewitt. Like, come to Jackson Hewitt. Hew hewitt you're like do you want a refund we'll get one for you and he goes yeah we'll figure it out what do you want and if i need to sit down you get him all your papers and he just goes just before i even get started what do you you want a refund or would you like to pay a little bit so you don't feel you feel better what's your comfort level you're like you want a refund or would you like to pay a little bit so you don't feel, you feel better? What's your comfort level? And you're like, I want a refund. He goes,

there's an Applebee's across the street. Go over there, have some lunch, come back in 40 minutes. And he comes back and you get cash. You get like,

you get like, he hands you like a bag of eight grand cash and goes, tax is done. And you go, I don't even want to know what happened.

This place is unbelievable. I would do that. That would be, that's what, there should be a tax. Should be called don't even want to know what happened. This place is unbelievable. I would do that. That would be a, that's what, there should be a text. Should be called don't ask questions. Yeah. Don't come back in. It is amazing though. When I, the first time I went to the H&R block and I was like, all right, let's write off

some stuff. I've never really written off anything for comedy. Who's writing it off? Well, they are. Yeah. So I just, I was, they were like, walk me through some of your, I was like, cell phone. Pay for a cell phone every month.

This lady was like, well, what percentage would you say that you use your phone for your comedy career? I was like, 70%. She's like, all right, we're right off 70% of that. I was like, it's just based on what I think? Yeah. Maybe 90, more of a 90%. Well, honestly, you could probably say, being a comedian,

it probably is 90%. Yeah. Because there's a blur of our business to be like, well, I think about comedy every day. Like, you know, like when you have, like, we have a, like, you can have a company card and a personal card, like, what do you put on what? Like, I still have to call Laura, and I'm like, am i buying this like is it on this or that yeah we do

everything right and uh laura's always been a stickler about it even forever and like just being like i need to know you know and uh but it's it it's a fine line of just like you're like i don't know dude i'm, everything's comedy. My whole life is comedy. Right. I'm on the phone all day about it. That's, you know. But that percentage is based on, I don't have to prove that percentage.

It's just like what I think. You probably have to prove it if they audit you. If they were to audit me. I don't know how you would audit somebody for that. But similar to what we were talking about earlier earlier i don't make nearly enough for them to audit me yet you're gonna be at the store and just be like what do you want you want to get uh you want cheerios or frosted flakes and guy that goes huh he stands up behind you virus are you talking to a comedy is that a comedian you're talking about a joke and he goes

no you're you're not gonna know you're not talking about wife joke? And he goes, no, you're not going to know. No, I'm talking to my wife. I got to get cereal. And he goes, wow, I thought you used your phone 70% for comedy. And it just seems I've been following you around for the past couple days, all the gas stations you go in. I do go in a lot of gas stations. I spend an alarming percentage of my money at gas stations. I tried to write off my haircuts last year. The lady just laughed at me.

Yeah. She was like, what is this? I go, I get haircuts. Yeah. She's like, I need to look good on stage. She was like, oh, you got yourself a haircut. She crossed them all off. She's like, you can't do that, you idiot.

Yeah. My account has me write off Netflix. Yeah. Because she says it's for research. I need to go. Your person's a little more creative than mine. Yeah, yeah. You want to try haircuts this year?

I'll try Netflix. We'll see what happens. Haircuts for me, that'd be a hard sell. What are you researching? Just watching comedies. Yeah. Comedy specials, stuff like that. She says movies and cable and all that I can put on there.

Yeah. You're going to have to have some jokes. You're going to see Brian's knack is going to be like, anybody see that Paddington bear? Anybody? What about number two came out? You heard the uproar about that one.

You can only talk about your subscriptions. That would be funny. The IRS makes you send a tape. Let's see the act. Let's see what you've been doing. The IRS makes you send a tape. Let's see the act. Let's see what you've been doing. I'll tell you what. The following account on Hulu is hard.

It's not as hard as Paramount Plus is, but it's difficult. He just has to name all the stuff that you do. You're trying to write off. Got a haircut the other day. A lot of mileage this year. It's been a while. So you can go to a movie, join the movie theater,

write off the mileage to and from the movie theater and the movie itself because that's research. What does writing it off mean? It means you can deduct it from your taxable income so you don't have to pay taxes on it.

So you're just like knocking down your income and it's like, what can I get off of it right so i do remember at the beginning because at the beginning you're when you're doing comedy like you would end up you're not even showing a profit because close yeah you're you're always like negative uh and then it's like and when you get to the point where you show profit no and then uh when so then you just knock it down.

So that's how they, so when people get mad at companies or stuff like that, they're saying like, they're writing off so much stuff that it's like, no, they should be paying the taxes on this amount. They're only paying the taxes on this amount. That's what that means, right? They find ways to loopholes and stuff like that.

Write it off. Yeah. They're the ones riding it off. Well, even individuals, I think, they can get into a different tax bracket because they have creative accountants. They can find ways to move money around and things like that. I mean, I have the tax brackets here. This is for, I think, a couple filing jointly. If you make less than $20,000 a year, 10% is the bracket.

This is your income tax, federal income tax? This is federal income tax. I mean, it just periodically goes up, 12%, 22%, 24%, 32%. The highest bracket, if you make over $628,000, you pay $168,000 plus 37% of the excess of $628,000. So basically 37%. Everybody pays that? Everyone who makes over $628,000.

Like every state? Yeah, this is federal. So you could have state tax on top of that. We don't in Tennessee. Right. Yeah. But most other places do. So the tax bracket is ranging from 10% to 37%.

Yeah. Again, this is for couples. I think it's different for individuals and different things like that yeah you got to make uh i think ten thousand dollars to have to file or 25 000 as a married couple if you don't make that much you don't have to file oh they don't even bother unless you make some money from self-employment which is only 400 okay if you make 400 a year you have to file if you make less than that you don't correct i don't know how you would even that's from self-employment like what we do i guess but if you work for a company and make less than twenty five thousand dollars a year as a couple you don't have to file because i know working for clubs you know they they like feature pay for a weekend sometimes they're like you you don't even make enough this weekend for

us to send you it i think it's 600 is that the amount yeah like if you make more than 600 then you got to fill out a wt or whatever else but they're like you're here one weekend you make 400 bucks yeah let's just forget about each other just move on right yeah yeah um well it's probably like without p yeah it's like if you hire someone to do something and you're like just give them 400 bucks and you don't have to worry about it 80 of the federal government is funded by income tax pretty big percentage yeah started in the civil war abraham l Lincoln started it to raise money for the Civil War. 3% tax on income over $800, which is roughly $23,000 today. How was he telling everybody this back then?

That's what I was... The newspaper. Huh? The newspaper. And it just gets around? It just gets around, I guess. When was the phone invented? newspaper and it just gets around it just gets around like yes well i guess the yeah when was the phone invented not like late 1800s what was that this is before the phone so but like how

would he how big was the country then like where i mean it's pretty much all east of the mississippi so yeah that to me like i mean you got to like, you could easily not pay taxes back then and be like, like, how do you not know to pay taxes? How would I know? Yeah. Like 31 million people. And so, like, how does he tell everybody? Like, he makes this speech. And I get, you know, it's like, I just don't know.

How does it get from? Maybe. Like, he's got to go to Missouri. Right. And then he's in DC or Pennsylvania and he's up there. And he says, we're going to pay 3% taxes. Well, how long does that take? I guess they take a train.

So you got to have a reporter that's there. And then he's got to go take, I guess, a couple day train, write it in the newspaper. And then the newspaper just is like, oh, we got to pay taxes? It's not even like a lot. You're just like, dude, you're reading the old Hickory News. Are you kidding me? All right, we'll start paying them.

I guess this thing says we have to. Yeah. I don't know how. I mean, I'm sure it wasn't a quick process. He probably sent people from the federal government to different towns, and then they told their people. Yeah. And it was like a trickle down.

Yeah, yeah. You've got to spread the word. Or Congress. You guys go back to whatever you represent. Yeah. And you tell the mayors. No, you break the bad news. I don't want to be there.

You tell the mayors. The mayors have to tell the people. And then they, you know. Okay. I hate breaking bad news to people. I can't do it. Oh it's tough i always think you gotta do it just just do it real quick so quick that it comes out of nowhere and then they're like what and you go yeah you just start talking about something else yeah you know you're like your house is gone your house burned down all right did you watch that hawks

game last night i did a show at Zany's once. I can't remember if I talked about this on the podcast, but George Lopez had to cancel last minute. And so they threw together a show at 645 for a 7 p.m. show. So it's a sold-out crowd. Everybody's there to see George Lopez. Yeah. And they have to go up and say, hey, he's not here.

And I was like, I can't even be in the room when this happens. I walked outside. I go, let me know how it goes, dude. I can't be in there to hear them get upset. And then I have to go out and do comedy. What were they? Did they get upset? Well, David Chasteen, who was the sound guy there, he handled it great.

He walked out. He wanted to do it. We're wired so different. He's like, I love this. So he walked out. He was like, just want to let everybody know right out of the gates, you're all getting a refund for tonight. George Lopez can't be here.

You're going to get your money back, but we'll put together a great show. If you want to stick around, you already got a babysitter. You already got your drinks ordered. We say you just stick around and enjoy the show. And they were awesome. It ended up being a really good show. But I can't – I could never do that. I would hate that.

And then did everybody stay? About 15 people left. The rest of them stayed, and it was one of the better shows I've ever done. Yeah. Because they were like, oh, this is just for a free cherry on top. It's good. Well, it's because he canceled. How did he cancel that close?

He was sick that day. Oh. So it was like they were already there they were trying to do it and then it's like yeah he's like i can't get by there so yeah yeah yeah yeah all right yeah when so everybody took i have a hard time being in the room if i know something's happening yeah i think i i either don't want to be in the room or I have to be the one saying it. That's the only two. Like I either don't want to be a part of it or I'm like, let me, because I feel like, I don't know.

So you feel like I know my heart. I know that I will try to give this news in a certain way. Or let me just get out of the room. That's what I said. Because then I'm going to be like, you said it. No, don't say it like that. Like, you know, I'll think about it too much. Meredith was hit by a car.

Yeah. Yeah. So taxes have been around since 3000 BC. Started in Egypt. Old Testament talks about giving one-fifth of your crops to Pharaoh. Everyone was commanded to do that. Keep four-fifths, give him one-fifth. Wow. What did he do?

They paid less taxes in ancient Egypt than we do now. You give way more than one-fifth now. 20%? 40%. Yeah, that'd be two-fifths oh but we give well i guess depends what bracket you're in you're in a bracket where you give 40 i guess not i just remembered the last percentage you said aaron's like he's like the highest was 37 i was like whoa yeah this podcast is wasting his time why are you even here man i mean I mean, yeah, you do above the 1%. You're above, you're like a.1 percenter. 1% of the 1%.

Yeah. And in the New Testament, one of Jesus' disciples, Matthew, was a tax collector. And tax collectors were despised during that time because they would either cheat people or because they were working for the Roman government, you know, hurting the Jewish people who were under Roman rule. Yeah. So they were despised, but he became a disciple. All right. So there's different types of taxes.

There's negative income tax for people who make so little money that the government gives them some back. Yeah. You're usually getting a refund for a long time, right? People in general yeah like i mean i remember getting a lot of money back then you switch to go and you don't get money back at first that's i mean that's a shock to the system when you're like and you just i mean i remember just thinking you're like yeah i get my money back i get like i love tax day because i was like you're gonna get like eight hundred dollars a thousand you're like this is crazy dude i can't believe they're good you don't know that you're going to get like $800,000. You're like, this is crazy, dude. I can't believe they're getting.

You don't know that you're a loser at that point, that you're just a young kid. I don't want to say loser, but when you're a young kid and you don't realize like, oh, it means I have no money. Yeah. And ideally, don't they always say the best is to break even? Yeah. Because if you get a refund, that means you've been paying in too much

to the government that they're keeping your money that you deserve yeah but yeah the most yeah it's nice to get that refund it's nice to get it yeah you get a big check it feels like a free check it was i mean i always worked for a company that took it out as you go so it didn't hurt that bad but now i pay quarterly self-employed i assume you pay what do you mean he doesn't want to talk about it pay quarterly like i pay in an estimate of what i make for taxes yeah yeah quarterly let's use i don't even know you can do ballpark the number 30 grand so it might be a little high but it's an easy one to get. It's been an all right year. Yeah, yeah. It's been a good year.

He's got a podcast baby. Yeah. $30,000 a year. I wouldn't even know where to go from that. I just wanted to get a $30,000 joke out. You don't pay quarterly? No, I didn't know there was an option. You pay quarterly throughout the year?

Yeah. I just pay it all at once. Okay. I thought if you were self-employed, you were supposed to be paying. That's a sign of you're not doing good. So that's what everybody's listening at home. They're like, oh, Aaron. He's struggling.

I got to head over to Jackson Hewitt and see what they're up to. Yeah. Start writing off on Netflix. We're at Jackson Hewitt. You want to write stuff off? We're in the business of writing off. You tell us anything, we will get it out of here. Like I bought a cat they go there's a cat live in the house that you work at

yeah that goes write it off yeah 2020 i had a home office yeah i built all this stuff i got a new computer yeah it's home office stuff your home office is the majority of the it's a thousand square feet and you're like yeah and you're like that's crazy you go where do you live at in the other hundred square feet that's our that's where only we do non-work stuff there uh used to be a beard tax so you guys will be paying more i got a little mustache now i don't know mustache tax yeah a little beard is that intentional you going for it yeah i i'm not like the bottom to be shaved but i was like we have i have like these two weeks i still got i got to do a couple shows uh but they're like private

shows and we're doing vecchione special next week and the nate land live podcast but i didn't have any like anything i was like having to film something or whatever or do something. And I was like, yeah, let me get a little run at this. I was told with mustaches, people like Eric Barber slash trainer. But it's always you get a lot of compliments from dudes more than women. With the beards? Mustaches. Mustaches, yeah.

Dudes like mustaches. I think they're back, dude. No, they're definitely back, but that mustache from that kid at St. Peter's, every dude's going to be like, yeah, dude, that mustache is awesome. And then most women are like, I don't know. I don't know how much they love mustaches.

Well, they're going to have to learn to love them, dude. Yeah, they're coming. They're going to figure it out. Well, this was a beard tax this was the ruler of russia in 1698 he took a tour reasonable guy go ahead yeah of course it was russia he took a tour of um europe spain france all that and everyone there was clean shaven and he thought oh that oh, that's the style. That's what's cool now. So when he came back home, he's like, guys, this is where it's at. We've got to start going clean shaven. That's what's in style now.

And it didn't catch on too great. So he started taxing people with beards just to try to make them shave their beards off. Oh, yeah. It's like the Yankees. Yeah. What about the Yankees? You can't have a facial hair at the Yankees. Really? Yeah. Ies? You can't have facial hair at the Yankees. Really?

Yeah. I think the Reds used to do that. Maybe they still do. You got to pay a tax. I don't think it's pay a tax, but they don't let you have it. You know why the Yankees always win? Why? You can't stop staring at their pinstripes.

You ever see that movie, Catch Me If You Can? Yeah. All right. I've seen it. I don't remember that line. It's a hotline from the movie. Yeah, yeah. It's a good one. But they's a hot line from the movie. Yeah, yeah. It's a good one.

But they're a pretty solid team, though. Well, yeah. That's what the guy goes, because they have Mickey Mantle? Yeah. He's like, nah. Nah. That's a big reason. Yeah.

Wasn't there, I can't remember, a player that was pretty famous that there was a deal, like he didn't want to shave him? I'm going to say Giambi. That's all. I don't know for sure, but in my head. That sounds right. That's a good guess. A Giambi. He wasn't a facial don't know for sure, but in my head. That sounds right. That's a good guess.

He wasn't a facial hair guy, but yeah, that sounds about right. No, like his brother. There was two of them. Yeah, Jason and Jeremy. Yeah. I just watched Moneyball. Talk about somebody giving bad news. Billy Bean loved telling Jeremy Giambi he was being traded.

Yeah. I mean, he loved it. Tells him. The guy's about to cry. Gets up out of his seat, and Billy Bean immediately moves over to the seat he was just sitting in and sits in it. He loved it. Yeah. But he's like, you got to tell him direct.

Just get to it. Yeah. Yeah. You just go, yeah, right on the. Jeremy, you're being traded to the Phillies. Yeah. Here's this number. Call it.

Yep. You're a good ball player. Good luck. Yeah. Dang. Yep. Yeah. I just watched that movie last night.

It's a great movie al capone went to prison on tax evasion they can never get him for all his murders so they finally got him on charges of tax evasion fraud spent 11 years in jail prison for it it's a lot he died in there i think al capone died in prison right yeah i mean so they're just they just didn't pay any taxes yeah they can just prove it like i guess because they're like yeah the elliot nest the yeah uh oh yeah what's the movie now with kevin costner sean connor tombstone it's a great rock but now it's escaped me um i don't know all right anyway that's a great it's a great great movie. Willie Nelson had so much back taxes. He owed $32 million.

The IRS seized all his assets. He had to make an album called The IRS Tapes. Oh, really? The IRS Tapes, Who Will Buy My Memories? And all the profits went to paying off the IRS. Many of his assets were auctioned off and purchased by friends who donated or rented his possessions to him for a small fee.

I mean, what kind of friends are those? Like, I'll give it back to you, but you're going to have to pay me a little bit. Well, they had to pay for it. I mean, they're all raising money, so they're like, I'll give it back to you if you've got to pay. Yeah. That's $32 million.

Is that someone just not paying taxes in his... I think he got in some bad investments too and yeah and it just kind of spiraled yeah yeah that's always the worst you see you got like dane cook had that oh did yeah his brother his brother stole millions from yeah he's in prison right now yeah it's that's tough that's i mean that's just so brutal yeah dude wesley snipe spent three years in prison yeah tax evasion al capone did like real prison are they is there like a different prison yeah it's like a federal what's that other prison you always hear that they're like well they're in a different prison

is it like a fun prison just a low security prison just a little different like it's like there's no you don't have any fear of getting killed or something like you're just what are you doing you're going to you get like a meal and you get three good meals is your what's your cell look like is it like a real jail cell is it all i know is from the episode the office where they hired martin yeah he was in prison yeah he described it was better than working at dunder mifflin yeah Yeah. Yeah, but it's like, are they really better? I did a show at a state prison in Minnesota with John Chris. We spent the day there at this prison. And what they told us is that this prison was so nice relative to some of the others

that you're in almost no danger of anything bad happening to you because they don't want to be transferred out of this prison, people that are in there so everybody's on good behavior yeah for the most part there so yeah that's some of it but is it where they were in jail cells they were in they almost look like dorm rooms yeah bunk beds in there they did they didn't have the bars yeah yeah but they were you know well everybody has those yeah that's true everybody has that are you thinking about if you needed a break no you just always hear about this like you know didn't martha stewart go to jail yeah for taxes or something hers was like insider trading i think so uh even with that like but then like where did she go like does she have like a decent room is it

is she on a bunk bed is it i don't. I feel like I heard crazy stories about they had to do cavity searches and stuff like that when she first goes into prison. I think they check your cavities, but it means more than that. Yeah, it means more than that. Your crevices? Yeah, your crevices. Is it nothing to do with cavities? I guess that's one area they check.

Do they check there? They don't do a dental check out where they go. They check all the places you can put stuff in your body. But wouldn't that be a crevice? Crevice check. A crevice check. Cavity just means a hole, you know? I thought it, yeah, but I thought, I i mean i would be in for a surprise because

you're gonna do a cavity gesture like yeah i've done this quite a bit i go where are you going though where are you where are you going buddy because i don't understand what's happening right now i have my mouth open hold up what's happening i never thought about it I didn't you're like oh y'all don't need to wear gloves yeah

it's all good he goes I don't you know you guys got two alright I'll tell you right now I got two go ahead

you know I just I'm gonna be up front I'm gonna be up front with you I got two of them alright gonna warn you I've eaten a lot of candy

so get ready my dentist gets after me all the time my gums bleed I got two of them. I'm going to warn you, I've eaten a lot of candy, so get ready. My dentist gets after me all the time. My gums bleed. I got two cavities. Whatever. There, you know. I wouldn't lie to you. Look.

You can search if you want. I don't care. You can search. What do I care? I'll show you where they're at. Yeah. So there's property tax, which we all know. Sales tax.

Tennessee has one of the highest sales tax rates. Why do we have that? Kentucky doesn't have sales tax. I think every state does. Someone told me that today. Eric told me that today. He said he buys groceries in Kentucky because they live kind of that way. And he says because they don't have sales tax.

Really? That's what he said. It might be on groceries or on medicine. It's groceries. Stuff like that. Yeah. But if you buy a biker, you still got to pay a biker car. But yeah, no sales tax on food would be pretty nice.

And we have the highest sales tax? One of the highest. I looked up all the states. It's 7% in Tennessee. And then the city you live in can tack on. So like for Nashville, it's 9.25 percent alabama's high too the way they justify that is we have relatively low property taxes compared to other states so it's like a give and take um no state income tax and no state income tax yeah so which i think we're one of the few states that does that us in texas and florida yeah florida arizona maybe places that

are doing great yeah but the property taxes have skyrocketed oh really here yeah because they just did a reassessment and you know the property in nashville is so expensive now and a lot of people can't pay your prop can't pay the property taxes. Yeah. I think I looked it up. I have a joke about it now. But property taxes, so I'm not going to do the joke. But I thought I looked it up somewhere, and Beverly Hills was something like $40,000 or $50,000. A year?

I think so. I don't know. But I think so. And I was looking up some house. I don't know if it was a crazy house. Look up property taxes in Beverly Hills. It was something crazy. You're like, good night, dude. mean you know that's a person's salary just to and that's not even the house that's just uh you know well if you bought a house say that here in

the night 25 000 a year in property tax that's an that's the average so some of them pay a lot more yeah the average is 25 000 yeah that's crazy. If you bought a house here in the 1950s and you're just getting by, you're old now, got a fixed income, but you live in some hot new neighborhood and they do a property value reassessment, you may have to pay so much more property tax

on this house and you can't afford it anymore. What's a fixed income? It's like you just... Like you get money in from Medicare or Social Security and your bills are all kind of lined up where you can't, you don't have any extra money to venture, so to speak.

You know what I mean? Yeah, you end up being like you have $100 a month to spend on whatever. Kind of like, yeah, you kind of know what you owe and you kind of know what you get in and stuff like that. But if there's a major change, it can really mess you up. That's when he comes on Seinfeld and he goes, she's on a fixed income. Does he say that?

Yeah, Nana. I think he does. Yeah. Uncle Leo? Yeah. The president has to pay his taxes as well, but he gets a non-taxable travel account for $100,000 and a non-taxable entertainment account worth $19,000.

I get the travel account, but $19,000 for entertainment. Do you remember when Chris Christie spent like 20 grand on concession stands? Is that when you voted for him? That's when I was like, this is my guy. Oh, like because he would take people up there? Who knows? But I remember seeing the amount and being like, dude, this is not a good look for you, man. Christy racked up $82,000 in concessions.

Yeah. In Delaware? And you want to be like, you want to go. That Giants and Jets game. And she was like, dude, look, I get it. You're taking people out. But I honestly, if we had someone, you know, a little less, you know, I think we could keep it to 40. He goes, what?

He goes, we got everyone wants hot dogs. He goes, they have Dippin' Dots there, man. He's going to be like, what do you think? I'm going. It's on the state. Let's do it. England used to tax the number of windows in a house. It's a little door argument i know yeah and then after that houses began to be built with fewer windows and then people started suffering

health problems from lack of air and so the tax was finally repealed why would they do windows so i i looked up a little bit about this so they wanted to find a way to tax wealthier people yeah more yeah but people really did not like the idea of you know you're penalizing me for being more successful yeah and that's a little intrusive to like yeah you attack me based on my income like that so they said well what is a good indicator of your success the bigger the house you have the more windows you're gonna have and also that allows us to count it without going into your house. We can just walk up and you can count the windows from the outside. Yeah. So that's the way they did it.

And then people just started, you know, just stop building windows on their house. They got around that real quick. Yeah. Dang. That's crazy. You just do no,

you just get a house. It has nothing. Just no windows. It's complete dark in there. Yeah. Pitch black dark. Texas has a poll tax where they tax strip clubs

and things like that. The revenue goes toward... Probably call it something else than that. I figured it'd come more... It's a very funny name, but I would just think you would be like,

well, it's a regular... If I've got to pay these to a government, maybe just... Let's class it up a regular. If I've got to pay these to a government, maybe just let's class it up a little bit. Like, you know, kind of an entertainment or something. Adult entertainment tax.

Yeah. The names are funny. I almost think I understand that more than the poll tax just feels like it's, you know, just like, who decided that? P-O-L-E tax? That sounds like it was decided at the place.

I think it was one guy that thinks, oh, this would be funny. Yeah. It is a little funny. It is funny. Yeah. And then Sam Adams was Boston's tax collector. I'll end on this. He was Boston's tax collector in the 1700s,

but he was terribly uninterested in his job. So he would just overlook tax debt from people who were having problems, down on their luck and stuff like that, which made him kind of like a Robin Hood for the working class in Boston. He was like, don't worry about it, man. But tax collectors were personally liable for uncollected taxes, so he had to make up the difference. And by 1765, nine years later, he owed more than $8,000,

equivalent to $1.5 million today. Yeah. He did finally end up trying to go after some of the uncollected taxes, but not with much success. And his well-to-do friends ended up having to cover most of his debt. So he was a good guy, tried to help them out, but things got out of hand. Well, it doesn't feel like he was being not good at his job. It seems like he just had a nice person.

He had a good heart. He hated the government, too. Yeah. I guess what it says wasn't – That's how he created the beer. I kept thinking you were about to tell me, and so he started a beer company, and then he made all his money. That's what I thought, honestly, we were heading. So this, and so he started a beer company, and then he made all his money. That's what I thought, honestly, we were heading.

So this is what made him start his beer company, and then now he's a billionaire. I go, oh, that's cool, man. Right. So maybe he wasn't bored in his job. He just didn't want to do this job, and they made him do it. So I was like, I'm not going to tax these poor people. Yeah, you got to go look them in the face, and you're like, that's a problem. Yeah, you got to go look them in the face, and you're like, that's a problem.

But that is, it's a weird balance, because you're going to see that up close. If you have any kind of heart, you can't ask this. And then that's where I think problems get now. People are too far away from the person they're asking from. And then you're like, well, that's not fair. Well, yeah, now it's just a website. Yeah, just click it. Or something and you owe us.

Yeah. All right. So tax day is Monday, April 18th. Monday, April 18th. So go do your taxes. Get an extension at least. Do the right thing. Get an extension. Go to Jackson Hewitt.

Jackson Hewitt is where we kind of got our own taxes yeah if you want a refund go to Jackson Hewitt or do whatever you want understand we do have we have a tax

we get one under the table cause you gotta slot them a little bit you know but we make some we make some stuff go away you know what I mean

some stuff disappears you'll write some stuff off you're gonna write some stuff off you're gonna write you know and I mean? Some stuff disappears. You'll write some stuff off. You're going to write some stuff off. You'll write a lot off. You're going to write, you know. And I would recommend

going in late on a Saturday afternoon right when they're about to get off because they'll get it done quick. Yeah. April 17th.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like when you walk into Applebee's and they're closed in five minutes, you're going to get a very,

not the best steak. You'll get it quick though. Yeah.. You'll get it quick, though. Yeah, but you'll get it. It'll be quick. It's still considered a steak, but just hope no one dives in looking at it. All right, everybody. Thank you. Yeah, Zany's live podcast, and then my Vecchione special.

I'll be in Florida next week on the tour. Do y'all? Salt Lake City. Yeah. Salt Lake City, Woodstock, Georgia. I'm in Denver, Colorado. First week, May. Never done anything out there.

I'm excited. Denver Comedy Underground. Come see me do that. That'll be fun. All right. Yep. All right. Love you guys, as always.

Thank you. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.