The Nateland Podcast - #97 Books

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, I'm Jillian. And I'm Patrick. And together we make the podcast True Crime Obsessed. If you love documentaries the way we love documentaries, you might be interested in our show because we recap all the documentaries that you're watching. We've covered just about every true crime case you can imagine. We're talking the Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker,

Starting point is 00:00:18 the Ted Bundy tapes. What else? The Turpin 13. Yes. The amazing sisters who basically tell the story. The girl in the picture. Yes. All the documentaries you love to talk about with your friends. We're your friends now. We're the friends you talk about that stuff with. Yes. With the amazing sisters who basically tell the story, the girl in the picture. Yes. All the documentaries you love to talk about with your friends.

Starting point is 00:00:26 We're your friends now. We're the friends you talk about that stuff with. Yeah. We're True Crime Obsessed Podcast. Stitcher us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Hello, folks. Hey, I'm Jillian. And I'm Patrick.

Starting point is 00:00:55 And together we make the podcast True Crime Obsessed. If you love documentaries the way we love documentaries, you might be interested in our show because we recap all the documentaries that you're watching. We've covered just about every true crime case you can imagine. We're talking the Hatchet-Wielding Hitchhiker, the Ted Bundy tapes. What else? The Turpin 13. Yes.

Starting point is 00:01:10 The amazing sisters who basically tell the story. The girl in the picture. Yes. All the documentaries you love to talk about with your friends. We're your friends now. We're the friends you talk about that stuff with. Yeah. We're True Crime Obsessed Podcast.

Starting point is 00:01:21 Stitch us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Hello, folks. Welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. I'm Nate Bargetzi, sitting here with Aaron Weber. Justin Smith, filling in for Brian Bates. What's up, buddy? What's up? Oh, you're just saying to me?

Starting point is 00:01:40 Oh, yeah, anybody out there? Everybody's a buddy. Everybody's a buddy. Everybody's at home listening. That's right. We're all buddies. So welcome to the show. This is, you know, we've recorded this one as a backup.

Starting point is 00:01:53 I don't know if I ever should, are you supposed to say that? I don't think people mind it. I think people like to know. I like to know. I think as long as you're consistent. You're just like, hey, I got something this week. We know you're busy. We know Aaron's busy. I don as long as you're consistent. You're just like, hey, I got something this week. We know you're busy. We know Aaron's busy.

Starting point is 00:02:07 I don't have a lot going on. Justin was wide open. Wide open. We're doing this for Justin. Yeah. Thanks, guys. Thanks, buddy. The audience says it.

Starting point is 00:02:17 We won't release it. We're just going to send it to Justin's YouTube only. Justin, you need some chin work. Yeah. It's an audition tape, basically. Yeah. What's chin work? Just like the way you hold your.

Starting point is 00:02:30 Oh, chin. Yeah. Do they call it chin work? I don't know. I haven't taken any classes yet. Is there a way to hold your chin? Oh, for sure. Is there like.

Starting point is 00:02:40 Yeah. When you're sitting, when you're on camera, you want to make sure that you're not slouched. You know, it's like it's all just facial placement and stuff. Well, didn't you and Jay Cutler talk about the trick of putting your tongue on the top of your mouth when you smile for a picture? Yeah. It's going to lift up your neck.

Starting point is 00:02:58 Yeah. I want to work on my smile. I mean... That's pretty rough right there there we were just talking about how like i can't justin's over here he goes i just look the worst when i smile oh yeah it's just it's awful anytime anytime for a picture i don't i still don't know i know it sounds like a will farrell thing but i don't know what to do with my hands yeah how do you smile oh that is that is tough to look at I'm telling you it's so bad

Starting point is 00:03:25 I have to make myself do it so what do you do you just don't smile that often both of them look like you're not happy to be in the picture your smile and regular face they're both like I can't use any of this I try to do the hip hop pose sometimes where it's like you cross your arms

Starting point is 00:03:44 you chin up you have to do that you have to pose sometimes where it's like you cross your arms and you chin up. You have to do that. You have to just mean mug and be like, this is what I do. And you want to be like, listen, man, I'm so happy, but just trust me, if I would have smiled, it would have been way worse. It's like a soft smile. I always just say, you're like...

Starting point is 00:04:00 I'll see pictures. I'll take pictures of people afterwards and I just like it looks so forced not forced I mean I just think to go big I'm not I am happy yeah sure

Starting point is 00:04:11 but you're trying to make sure and then it looks because it won't be every picture you take of someone you're like next you know it's like

Starting point is 00:04:20 that's what that would feel like so you're like I am happy to take these pictures it's cool such a struggle I mean I just it is a weird i think i would imagine but most people think that you either like have a great smile or you just your whole life is figuring it out it's like you're

Starting point is 00:04:36 either born with it or not with a smile being photogenic is a is a real thing it's a real thing yeah also there's tricks to it like i have friends of mine that are like ig people and they like she i did a full-on conversation about how it took her two years to figure out how to look natural on like oh yeah and you're like and she goes i go there's no way like you look at her now you're like oh there's no way and then she showed me photos when she started like doing she left all those up and no no she sent them to me she's like she's like these have been long since been taken down but she goes this is the evolution of it and i was just like oh my gosh you can't tell somebody's like oh this is awkward i would love to see that i mean it's it was bad yeah that's interesting to even see it

Starting point is 00:05:18 like i would love to see how much better it gets to know like should you even is it you know because then you'd be like oh yeah this should be you should work on this like there's a big difference oh yeah and so that's interesting that's interesting if you ever see me in the future pictures and it's like it's like a new hole you're regressing i just get worse i want to do a blue steel like just straight on yeah i just always look like I win. I do it nice. Here's two pictures of me.

Starting point is 00:05:52 A good one is I'm always like, I just raise my eyebrows up, and you're like, that's enough. They get it. Looks like this guy's having a good time. So much fun. So much fun. Christian Moscosco. Moscoso.

Starting point is 00:06:03 Moscoso. When I was in elementary school, I had had a teacher who used to say that every night we go to bed being less dumb I do not think he took into the account the fact that I would listen to y'all weekly on Wednesdays I'm pretty sure I go to bed a little dumber best case scenario may break even

Starting point is 00:06:19 but what I know for sure is that on Wednesday I definitely go to bed happier there it is. Yeah. We're not here to make you smarter. All right? Happier. I spent my whole life breaking even.

Starting point is 00:06:32 Yeah. I've been in a deficit for a while. Emily Camp. Last night, our family went to the park to throw the Frisbee around. Sometimes my rhythm of a sentence is, I can even tell, like it's so bad. Last night, our family went to the park to throw a Frisbee around. Throw the Frisbee around? While my husband, two older children, and I were passing and catching the Frisbee,

Starting point is 00:07:04 our four-year-old with autism, who didn't start talking until last January, was running around and shouting, let's go, folks, over and over again. He thought it was hilarious. I was trying to figure out where he could have heard that. Then I realized I always listen to your podcast with him in the car. Thanks for keeping it clean. Look at that. Let's go, folks.

Starting point is 00:07:28 That's for you. That's so cool. so cool yeah yelling up you know let them know that's how that's how we need to get the word out let me tell you something he's going to be saying that for 30 40 50 years yeah i like it because once you get into like somebody with autism's repertoire like that it's there forever wait till that conspiracy theories episode sinks in uh matthew hawkins so my wife changed my life a few years back when she brought bought me this cereal bowl it's it's a it's got a top part for the cereal a bottom part for the milk and a little side slide between your cereal will never get soggy it's truly awesome wow so you scoop it over there whenever you want oh let me see that top do a video video kind of gets to point quicker than you going super fast yeah so you got half of it you just pour the milk i already don't like this yeah i don't know i don't mind it i understand it i understand it yeah it's like it would be amazing so it's got one half is where you put the cereal the other half's where you put the

Starting point is 00:08:34 milk and then you can kind of slide around a little few pieces at a time and you save milk which is good i think you'd end up using i don't I don't think so. It doesn't look like it. I feel like you're going to have to refill. I don't know why those people are eating in a towel. I'm not on board with it because of that. That would be the reason. There you go.

Starting point is 00:08:57 You had me until you had them come in a towel and robe and eat cereal. Two robes maybe in the morning. They got it for breakfast, but she has a towel and you and eat cereal like two robes maybe in the morning they got up for breakfast but she has a towel and you can see her next to you and his robe doesn't fit his robe does not fit yeah what is who what do they think i mean what do you think when you do an ad and you go at the end of it you're like well we want no couples do it all right well i'll just show a family eating yeah but that's who eats cereal you're like no well, we want no couples do it. All right, well, I'll just show a family eating. That's who eats cereal.

Starting point is 00:09:26 You're like, no, we'll show kind of a sexy couple. And you're like, well, who cares if they eat cereal? And what are they looking at? They're just looking down and at the wall in the camera? Yeah, they look away. They eat the cereal and look out into their living room of nothing. You're looking at places where you should be sitting and you're not. That's a family that goes to bed dumber.

Starting point is 00:09:43 You want to go have cereal and just stare into the living room? Is there windows? No, no, no, no, no. It's just our furniture. We'll look out amongst our furniture and our beautiful picture that we have. How would you even... What do you tell them when you're acting?

Starting point is 00:09:59 You're like, so what do you want us to do? You know, they tried to sit down, I'm sure, and his robe kept coming open. And they're like, well, I'm sure, in his robe, kept coming open. And they're like, well, that's no good. This is a small. Yeah. And then they go, all right, well, just come stand and eat it. And they probably ate it over.

Starting point is 00:10:15 I guarantee they ate it at the camera. And it's like, and this is a cereal commercial. It's probably a little too revealing. And they're like, you want to want to do something else and he's like we're already here with the stuff on so you know what if y'all grab the cereal just uh we don't show the product by the way the end of this video is not showing the product it's showing the backs of two people nudging each other yeah like kind of a... Like it's a Seinfeld sketch almost. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:10:46 Yeah. Yeah. They don't show the end of it. That's crazy, dude. And his towel looks like... His robe looks like it's got a hole in it. They don't put milk in it. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:10:57 And they look... I mean... Yeah. All right. I mean, I'm furious. Yeah, that's crazy. Look how they stack, Nate. What a feature.

Starting point is 00:11:07 Yeah, I like that. I might be back. Like it's a yin-yang. I might be back on. Look, I'm not against this idea. Their ads are, that's ridiculous. Ridiculous. So, Derek Visor, spells it D-R-r-e-k the correct way that's my brother

Starting point is 00:11:28 we spell it like that when we were kids my family relocated to pittsburgh my brother dean thought this would be a good time to start going by the name scott since he'd since he'd always wanted that name purely by coincidence our new neighbors saw a tv commercial about missing kids and thought one of them looked exactly like dean since he was telling everyone his name is scott this confirmed their theory within a few days my mom got a visit from two fbi agents who demanded to see dean demanded to see dean's birth certificate and baby pictures thank goodness she believed the badges looked legit and put away the gun she had carried to the door before opening it. Otherwise, our childhood would have been a lot different.

Starting point is 00:12:09 That's a different childhood. That could go two ways. Yeah. Wow. I just look like a mother that would carry a gun to the door. Yeah. Thanks for talking while I took a drink. You got it.

Starting point is 00:12:23 I know. I was waiting for someone of y'all to do it. I got your back. The guy that's on the podcast every week bailed. I wanted to see Justin. I got it. When you started drinking, I kind of go. I didn't realize you were taking a drink.

Starting point is 00:12:38 I was just going to hop in on the gun thing. I like a protective mama. I do. I like it. She's like, this looks real. We talked about Justin. If you could just pick another name, would you stick with Justin? You pretty happy with what you're doing? I mean, I would find a better showbiz name, that's for sure.

Starting point is 00:12:52 Really? Justin Smith just sounds like a guy that's going to do your taxes. I mean, not even good taxes, like an H&R Block guy. That's who I use. I think you'd give him that name a little more status. Justin Smith, I don't think, is a tax guy. I don't think accountant. I don't think accountant.

Starting point is 00:13:12 It just feels like somebody started a new life. Yeah. And that's what they started with. Yeah, it sounds like a guy that would have kidnapped a kid that used to be called Dean, now named Scott. Yeah. And you have a little problem with the FBI. And then he's got to go relocate. But what job do you give him? Yeah. That's what I named Scott. Yeah. And you have a little problem with the FBI. Yeah. And then he's got to go relocate. But what job do you give him?

Starting point is 00:13:26 Yeah. An accountant. That's what I'm saying. No. Yeah, that's true. I just got it. That's what I said. I would, all right.

Starting point is 00:13:35 You were like, no way. And I was like, yep. I would believe in that. I need that backstory. It's not just a tax guy. Well. I think Justin Smith has a backstory of that. He's been relocated.

Starting point is 00:13:44 When you put me in charge of backstories, things get a little hairy. Yeah. Victor Lowrymore. Lowrymore. Lowrider. I wonder if that's what they just call him. Victor Lowrider. And they go, ah, that's fine.

Starting point is 00:13:59 Because you get your low and you're like, well, that's where I'm going to finish with. And he goes, well, it's Rymor. And you go, I'll do Low rider victor low rider uh i hope he's huge or something like it's like not even well he's like i'm pretty tall you're like all right several years ago i decided that if i was asked for my name in a restaurant i was going to use a something what is that pseudonym pseudonym oh that's the fake name pseudonym not long after i've made that decision i was in the atlanta airport and i decided to try it out i stopped at a chick-fil-a and when i asked for my name i said jack soon the girl who took my order stepped up the counter with a bag of food and drink and said jack all of us looked around expecting jack

Starting point is 00:14:45 to step up and get his order he did not again and a little more loudly she said jack all of us looked around again wondering what happened to jack finally while looking directly at me she shouted jack and then i remembered that's me as i slipped up to the counter i was sure the girl who took my order and the others waiting for the orders were wondering, what is wrong with this idiot? I took my food and with a half smile said to the girl, sorry, jet lag. She said with some anger in her voice, I called your name three times. I ducked away as fast as I could and didn't look back.

Starting point is 00:15:21 That's very funny. Yeah. Use a fake name. You got to stick to it. You got to have the backstory. That's funny. Yeah. Use a fake name. You got to stick to it. You got to have the backstory. That's what makes me not use a fake name because I don't feel I have the confidence for it. I think some people can do that and they like it. I'm not.

Starting point is 00:15:35 I feel it was not like because I think they might know me before anybody would ever. I never would feel comfortable. Yeah. Like I'm building and then be like and just have people like I don't be feel comfortable yeah to be like i'm building and then be like and just have people like i don't like it i'd be like that feels weird what is your middle name you might respond to that reflexively without even thinking about it lee yeah uh you heard lee lee that might make you you turn around i don't know i don't think i would interesting i don't think i would turn on lee no one says lee yeah no one i don't think I would turn around Lee. No one says Lee.

Starting point is 00:16:05 Yeah? No one. I don't think I'd turn around for my middle name either. What's your middle name? We don't got to get into it. Okay. All right. That's fine.

Starting point is 00:16:12 Yeah. Is it? That's Carl. Carl? Justin Carl Smith? Yeah. It does. That's why.

Starting point is 00:16:20 That's why right there. Carl Smith. You get to say Lee and nobody blinks an eye. All of a sudden you throw Carl in there. Carl and Lee hang out together. Carl Lee together sounds like one guy's name. That's like when you got in show business, you're like, I don't know if I like Justin. You go, well, do your middle name, dude. And you go, what is that?

Starting point is 00:16:35 You go, it's Carl. You go, fun. Justin's process sounds pretty good. How do you feel like, oh, just doing the road a lot? What have you set your sights on? I wouldn't set it on Hollywood, but I would set it on just a strong road schedule. Justin Carl Smith.

Starting point is 00:16:55 Sounds like a guy that needs to mediocrely play the guitar. Right when you walk in, how you doing, I'm Justin Carl Smith. All right, where's your stuff? We'll go ahead and plug it in. They just ask. How many sound cues you doing? I'm Justin Carl Smith. All right, where's your stuff? We'll go ahead and plug it in. They just ask. Sound check. How many sound cues you got?

Starting point is 00:17:08 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Justin Carl Smith does sound like a comic that's going to just have. He's like, so you come in a day early like normal and you go, what? He goes, you're Justin Carl Smith, right? You do the guitar stuff.

Starting point is 00:17:31 That's great matthew tanner i'd like to hear if nate ever considered trying out for snl i know a lot of times snl comes to check out comedians in new york but i have never heard nate speak on that uh no i had no if i would have ever thought to try out, maybe I could have wrote a package or packet to try to be a writer on it. Would have been the only thing. No one ever approached me about doing it. The Daily Show was the only thing. I saw your name on a few, like those buzz lists about people that they would like to see on it. I saw that. Yeah, that's like someone. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:18:05 But I mean, you were, I'm, I remember for a couple of years seeing, cause I remember cause I messaged him to you, but it was like, I remember seeing you on lists and stuff. Yeah. That I would be on it.

Starting point is 00:18:15 That people that like people that I knew that wrote different things, like you were, I feel like you were always in the conversation, whether you, it was real or not. Yeah. Yeah. I think there's,

Starting point is 00:18:26 yeah, that was, none of it was real, but it was whether it was real or not. Yeah. Yeah, I think there's – yeah, none of it was real. But it was cool to see. I remember doing it, like people saying it. It's okay. The first time you go on, you'll host it. That's fine. Yeah. That's what I'm waiting for. That'd be cool.

Starting point is 00:18:36 Yeah. James Elam. One time I was seeing Nate at the Arlington Draft House in Virginia while I was looking for parking before the show, I found a spot with an old mattress in it. Me and my friends thought no one would take the space because they didn't want to touch the mattress, so we got out and moved it and took the space.

Starting point is 00:18:56 Walking out of the parking lot into the front door of the venue, I then saw a car with Nate, and the host pulled into the packed parking lot going towards the space we took and realized we just took their spot. Sorry about that, Nate. You know, this sounds somewhat, wait, this sounds maybe somewhat familiar. I think it does sound familiar. Do they not have a cone in this parking lot?

Starting point is 00:19:20 Yeah, you'd think they would have a cone. I think a cone would be better. Than an old mattress? Yeah, I'd think they would have a cone. I think a cone would be better. Than an old mattress? Yeah, I'd say. Arlington Draft House is a great club. Great club. I'm headlining there in August.

Starting point is 00:19:31 Oh, yeah? That's great, dude. Yeah, first time. It was – I never remember anything. But from my memory, one of the first clubs I sold out the weekend. Oh, yeah? If not the first, but at least one of the first. Arlington Dress House is a great, great club. And it's, you know, they take a lot of comics,

Starting point is 00:19:50 and you get to kind of grow there and stuff. And DC Improv is great, too. Like, I know I'm talking about both. They're competitors in a sense. DC Improv is a legend club, legendary club, and it's, like, crazy. Ceilings are very low. It's like you just murder but arlington

Starting point is 00:20:07 is arlington's awesome and uh it's a lot of comics sometimes it's your it's the very beginning they're very cool like looking out for new comics and then you get a headline there yeah yeah i'm pumped yeah it's awesome it's great uh nicholas butcher the coals butcher i saw nate in charleston south carolina the batteries on the mic died during the show one thing once things got working again brian delivered a new mic nate started talking about doing comedy for soldiers on uso tour with no mic i've never heard him tell that story since i was wondering what it was like going into war zone and doing comedy. Nicole's Butcher. I'm trying to picture that show.

Starting point is 00:20:53 I do so many shows. It's so funny that the mic goes out and you're like, I don't know. You would think something that big. You don't remember that? You're like, I don't know. A lot of mics have gone out. But I do. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:21:06 So, yeah, I did. When I did the shows with no mic in the USO, I've never told this. So we did. You go. It was crazy. The USO tours were amazing. It's always safe. Like, it's one of the highlights of my career.

Starting point is 00:21:20 I always, I think if I didn't, would have fell into comedy, I would have probably went to the military. And I like that camaraderie. I like everything about it. And so that's why it was so great to go get him to perform over there because it was like I always felt like I, for some reason, was like pulled in that direction. Yeah. And then I thought, well, this is why.

Starting point is 00:21:44 I'm getting to go this way and so we did stuff with us this guy scott kennedy who passed away he's great he's great and he did uh i did with my first time over was with dustin chafin he got us went to bahrain and djibouti and uh kuwait i think uh and then so i went with Dustin Chafin first and then started going with this guy, Scott Kennedy. And then Scott, Scott would go there like once a month. It was crazy. He'd go two weeks,

Starting point is 00:22:12 then come home for two weeks and go back two weeks. I mean, every month. And so when we did those with him, he would really target the fobs, the forward operating bases that were just small bases that were just in the middle of like cities uh in iraq and so it's like you would go sometimes you see those uso tours like it's still awesome they go do it but a lot of times they're going to they go to kuwait to the big

Starting point is 00:22:35 place and it's like you know it's guys coming or going it's a reason that they're there but it's like scott would really we'd go to your base. And when we drove through Baghdad, through the streets of Baghdad, like in a convoy, I think they got in trouble for it. Because they were like, yeah, y'all should have never done that. And when you're driving, they have to look at everything they see. I mean, dude, they drive, it's crazy. They just drive on the side of the road.

Starting point is 00:23:02 It's almost like there's no cars. And you're just driving through the city. We went to the Saddam thing of the road. It's almost like there's no cars. You're just driving through the city. We went to the Saddam thing with the swords. I don't know if that's Saddam. The statue? No, not the statues of Saddam. What's the gold swords in Baghdad?

Starting point is 00:23:17 The Welcome to Baghdad sign? Yeah, I guess it's like their airport sign. Maybe it's not Saddam's sign. The Victory Arch? Yeah, maybe. Look at the victory arch. Yeah, that thing. No, that's right here. The victory arch.

Starting point is 00:23:28 Oh, that's crazy. Oh, that's actually four. Is that because they won victory over Saddam? So, I don't know. That doesn't feel very positive walking into it. I got a picture right under it. Really? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:23:42 Yeah, yeah. I mean, the picture's somewhere, but it was a little, it was a fat bloated Nate that he stood under there. And, yeah, it finished in 89. Oh, for dedicated to fallen Iraqi soldiers. So, yeah, I took a picture there and then stayed in Saddam's palace. It was crazy. We walked around that.

Starting point is 00:24:09 Like, you know, you'd see where Saddam's kids, where his sons had a palace. I mean, it's like pulling into a neighborhood, like, kind of. And you're like, oh, like, you know, you take a right, left, right. And that's where his sons lived, like, in a cul-de-sac basically kind of together. And Saddam had the big thing. And Saddam would do what I remember. You could see where they hit because they hit his sons when they first attacked. They hit his son's palace.

Starting point is 00:24:41 And so you could see it. I stayed at that. I hit golf balls in that water. Oh, man. Yeah. palace and so like you could see it i stayed at that i hit golf balls in that water oh man yeah and they uh so you would stay when you go in there and stay there's a famous picture where saddam got or saddam was interviewed by barbara walters and i set no seats uh saddam was there and he did not like my question he didn't yeah i was like he was pretty cool about everything uh so he painted everything everything's really gold but it's all gold painted and the idea of it was it looks very rich from everybody outside but it was like i mean he would have he had 30

Starting point is 00:25:18 of these palaces and he made them run as if he was at every one of them. So every palace ran as if he was there. So then that way, if someone tried to kill him, you couldn't tell. You were like, it's not like the mailbox is full, or it'd be smoke and the chimney comes out. Well, he's eating breakfast. He's eating. And they did it. So everybody just ran.

Starting point is 00:25:42 You ran it like as if Saddam. So you would make plates. That way, no one could know where he was at wow yeah and then uh you sleep on one of the beds you slept in a i slept on a bunk in a room and uh but i mean i think a lot i mean a lot of people have obviously stayed in that room uh and then so we there we went and drove to all these small bases and i'm driving down the streets and and these guys are having to look at every – you see a shopping bag, and you're like, what's that? That stuff could be all IEDs. Then we went to – we did Blackhawks too.

Starting point is 00:26:14 Blackhawks were crazy. I remember just flying. I've talked about – you're flying. We went to Kirkuk, and we were flying over Iraq, and it's at night, and it's just dark. Yeah. It's just nothing but dark. Wow.

Starting point is 00:26:29 Like there's no, you know, it's like you fly over America, there's always little lights. You see cities. Cities. Well, when it's dark, you think, oh, it's farmland. Yeah. You don't realize there's a whole city underneath your feet. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:26:40 Well, I don't think, well, it could be, I guess, but I'm saying I don't think, I think there was just nothing. I thought you were talking about flying over the city and it was all dark. No, no. I mean, as you're going to recruit, you're just flying over parts where you're... It'd be like flying over probably parts of Alaska where you're like, there's nothing here, dude. And it felt like that where you're like, who knows where we're at?

Starting point is 00:27:03 But I saw Abraham's house right before he went to Egypt, before he moved to Egypt. He gets more. Abraham? Abraham. It goes, I've been to that house. I don't think it was before he moved to Egypt. How do they? Yeah, he lived there for it's like before he moved to egypt it's very how do they uh yeah he

Starting point is 00:27:27 lived there for a while then he moved out uh is this like father abraham yeah this is where you went right here i went there and then uh but his house they found his house like next to it and you could see it like over next to it i think it's over there they done did it but the floors they redid the walls you could see you could look at another i don't think zoom in all right there you go uh i mean i don't know how you're looking you just thought right here i'll just zoom in more and you're like all right dude uh go that one bottom the middle left right here uh yeah that that that's the whole thing that wasn't yeah so that's the uh birthplace of abraham and then uh so i walked in all this and so the walls were built for the layout of it

Starting point is 00:28:16 but the floor is all the floor he would have walked on and uh and so he went to egypt right i wish i knew more about that story i mean yeah oh great i was i was trusting you i was trusting you the whole time thinking of moses yeah no i think it's i think he did you know i think he had to get out i think he turned 18 left his parents house and you know he turned some metallic on and drove off to... I mean, look, there's cars there. So he took one of those. But so we walked around the floors of that.

Starting point is 00:28:53 And it was crazy because the Pope was going to go there and bless it. Yeah. But Saddam, like it was all set up and he's going to go. And then Saddam said no and never got to do it. And so when you go, you give the guy that runs it, all the soldiers and stuff, give that dude money to kind of like keep because there's one guy that kind of keeps it up. And like, you know, and you're in a place that they don't care that it's

Starting point is 00:29:15 the whole country is just where Abraham walked. Like it's like, but yeah, it's always like think about it. Maybe that's it now. Maybe there's, oh, they actually, you can't. If that's it, you know what's crazy? If they have that now where you got to walk around it on the wood. I walked on it. If that's, like, that's what's so crazy.

Starting point is 00:29:36 Now they'd be like, oh, you can't walk on it. It's all fenced off now, man. I mean, I could also. I remember thinking, I go, if this was anywhere else, I wouldn't be able to get within 10 feet of it yeah and this time the guy was like yeah yeah come on and we just walked we just were hopping off on the floor up and down like like we lived there and i was just like god this is so crazy that we get a walk on this like yeah i also can see you being the guy that like you go and you're walking around and

Starting point is 00:30:04 so a bunch of guards come up like like, hey, what are you doing? You can't do this. You're like, no, no, no, the guy said it was okay. And they go, what guy? You go, yeah, the guy I gave money to. And you go, oh, no, he's gone. He goes, yeah. He goes, this is where we park trailers here.

Starting point is 00:30:18 I go, oh, I thought Abraham lived here. It says bus parking in English. Yeah. Why would Abraham live here? He's in Egypt. He says, what are you talking about, dude? Abraham went straight to Egypt. I think he was born right outside Egypt.

Starting point is 00:30:35 Town, suburb, born in the suburb of Egypt. The suburbs of Egypt. Yeah. I go, what are you, are you serious, dude? Learn something new every day. All right, who knew? But anyway, long story, that USO tour. The USO one with no mic is we went to some soldiers.

Starting point is 00:30:57 I want to say they were SEALs or something, or Rangers. And we went to their base. We had to call in for them at 8 in the morning, right when they got back from a mission. And there was no microphone. And I stood in front of a – and it was like we landed in a helicopter, got out, did it, and basically going back. They just go back.

Starting point is 00:31:16 We were like, we don't need to do this mission. Like they've been out all night. Yeah. And so you're like, we don't – You also got to hope that mission went good. Yeah, yeah. And then they go, we – I go, we don't need to do comedy. They go, no, no, you came all the way here.

Starting point is 00:31:29 They're going to watch it. And you're like, oh. And then so we stand in a chow hall, and we're doing no microphone. And there's a buffet behind me. I remember when I was up there, one guy just went to the buffet. And I mean, he's like, I have to move at one point in the middle of a joke. I'm like, you know, I'm doing like whatever my old, like, I don't Bahrain joker. You know, there's snakes in Honduras.

Starting point is 00:31:49 And I'm like, oh, sorry. And then so two snakes go. And he just walked by and got his food and left. And it was they were all great. It was, you know, it was a it was a weird. I mean, they didn't come back to expect to see a comedy show at 8 a.m. And then it's like, I don't know, dude. Can I just go lay in my bed?

Starting point is 00:32:09 And they're like, no, you got to do it. Go watch them. I did your thing. I remember you talking about how good it feels to do an early set. I did an early corporate last weekend, and it was awesome. Awesome. I had a set later that night, but I was like, dude, I already did a set. I feel great, dude.

Starting point is 00:32:23 I feel great. You already worked. I feel like you snuck one in. Right. Yeah. Everybody else didn't work. You go, I'm already... What have y'all been doing? I'm already one deep. I already did a set, dude. It's clocking hours. And you got... It's an hour that no one else got. It's the

Starting point is 00:32:37 best feeling ever. Tom Sites. Do you have a contracted timeline with Netflix for the next taping, or do you let them know when you are ready? How do you have a contracted timeline with Netflix for the next taping or do you let them know when you are ready how do you know when the material is complete when the booze stop that would be a funny way

Starting point is 00:32:58 eventually they stop I could tape one now I'm glad that I'm not I'm glad that I'm not I'm glad that I'm getting to fix everything but I'm we're ready there's plans I don't know there's nothing concrete nothing I can

Starting point is 00:33:16 announce nothing I can could say but the idea I know what I want to do and where we want to do it so but we haven't yeah it would just be, you, yeah, like for a comic, you just talk, you can't talk to them. You got to go talk to Netflix first because I did one last with them, or that's what I do.

Starting point is 00:33:33 And then, you know, and we see where it goes from there. And then hopefully it's on Netflix again. I would like it to be. And so we would do another one and then, you know, but yeah, I mean, it's all different. Weirdly, it changes every year. Because I think you're just, whatever you get, you know, at the beginning, you're like, thanks for letting me. And I'm still, I'm always going to be,

Starting point is 00:33:55 thanks for letting me even do this. But it's like the way it goes. It is weird now to kind of be like, we're like, well, we want to tape it here. So then it's like, so let us know if y'all want to do it. You know, it's like,

Starting point is 00:34:06 it's crazy to. But it's, now it's mutually beneficial. Like you're, you're both, you're both at a point. I hope so. we're both like,

Starting point is 00:34:14 I mean, it's not like they, I mean, early on, they took a chance on you, obviously, but like now it's the, I tell them,

Starting point is 00:34:18 I go, I'm the Netflix of comedy. Yeah. And. That's how you open the meeting. Listen, I'm the Netflix comedy neighbor gets you the Netflix comedy welcome to this meeting and they're like well we invited you

Starting point is 00:34:31 maybe you didn't that's what the old comedy was how do you know when the material is ready remember that line from comedian Colin Quinn says when you're killing and you're miserable yeah that is a great big deal wow You remember that line from comedian Colin Quinn says, when you're killing and you're miserable? Yeah. That is a great. Big deal.

Starting point is 00:34:49 I mean, people laugh. Wow. I didn't remember that. Yeah, that is a funny. I could see it. Yeah, it is. It's like, he put it the best way. Colin Quinn's so great.

Starting point is 00:35:02 But it is. It's like you can get to a point where you're not in the joke and because you've just told it so much and you can tell like i'm getting tired of telling and it's so bulletproof that you don't even need to be in it you don't need to be in it yeah and you got to remind yourself to be i like that i work on that a lot to be present you know sometimes you can go up there and you can have just like i don't know a lot of stuff going on or something happens. And then when you walk on stage, it's like, hello. And then you're in your head. You're like, why are we going tomorrow?

Starting point is 00:35:31 Why are we leaving at two? I don't know. You know, just something that bugs you. And then you're, but I've gotten a lot better. Like I would have to, I mean, that happens a lot. I think people would be shocked how many times comedians can be up there and their mind can be just – You're on autopilot. You're just –

Starting point is 00:35:46 You're in just another world. And it's not – you don't do it out of disrespect. It's just your mind is crazy. And you're like – I mean, everybody knows what that means when you're talking. Anybody talking in public would know. You could – if you talk to anybody, you could be like, dude, I'm not – I'm talking and I'm not even paying attention. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:36:04 And so I do a lot of – talking and I'm not even paying attention. And so I have to, I do a lot of like, I remind myself of it a lot. And so when I'm up, so I've gotten a lot better over the past year of just, I can pull myself back. I can go, Hey,

Starting point is 00:36:18 you gotta be telling the show. And it's actually helped me like the jokes more. Cause then I, then you really look at it as like, I'm talking to this audience for the first time. have not seen this yeah so they i want to show them how funny this is or whatever you want to go do but you may it's about them in that room at that moment yeah and so you just go and you just make yourself just keep coming back and go this is not about you who cares about you do your dumb act and pull your head back into it it's not fair

Starting point is 00:36:47 to be thinking you can just you know i think it's a slippery slope if you lose it and it gets hard because like i had one one show on a long run i just i was all do for a couple weeks and you could just feel like yeah i mean it felt like the whole show i was having to like just keep my mind just would start walking off and i have to jerk it back and it like sometimes you like do it once twice maybe and then sometimes it's like it's like 15 times you're like and you're like i'm just very i'm worn out and i need a i need a kind of a break yeah and then you know and then i was off a week after that so then i went back to normal.

Starting point is 00:37:28 I feel like sometimes even just putting in something new or trying to find like a new line or like, I'm going to, I'm going to move, I'm going to flip flop these things or, or a lot of times a good crowd will pull you out of that too. Yeah. Or you walk out and you just, the volume or the way that you can feel their energy.

Starting point is 00:37:40 Like I, and it doesn't necessarily mean that it's bigger or louder even. Yeah. I've had, I've had shows like the show the other night where it was like, it doesn't necessarily mean that it's bigger or louder even yeah um i've had i've had shows like the show the other night where it was like it wasn't the biggest crowd and everything like that but it was like they were so happy yeah to for you to be there you could feel like the warmness yeah and like and it it it pulls you back from being you feel the appreciation oh and you go i need to give that back to them. Because if you don't, they can tell, and they will stop showing up.

Starting point is 00:38:07 And rightfully so. They can just go, you know. Or you get a courtesy. They're showing up, you know, just because it's like, well, I might as well go see him before he dies. That's what happens when you're old. Listen, you don't have to talk about me. I'm right here.

Starting point is 00:38:20 Okay, so. There you go. You got to get there early. Wow. Trying to see the middle act before he dies. That's basically what he just said. That floor creaks more and more every year he comes out. Pretty soon it's going to be easy.

Starting point is 00:38:35 We have to reinforce it. He's going to be like Ollie Joe Prater. We just pull a sheet off of him. That's the greatest thing ever. One time we're going to sheet out. Sheet off of us. I mean, that's the greatest thing ever. One time we're going to come out, there's just going to be a fedora on a mic stand with a light on it. Yeah. In memoriam.

Starting point is 00:38:53 This is my man right here. All right. Recently, my... Oh, Brandon Alderton. Alderton. Recently, my dad has made the Seinfeld reference, Ukraine is not weak. And I was told it was too soon.

Starting point is 00:39:10 I don't think it was, but how do you as comedians toe the line of funny observations and sound like a heartless monster? Toe the line of funny observations. Oh, how do you toe the line? I was reading that wrong. How do you toe the line of funny observations and sounding like a heartless monster uh i have the the person saying too soon i'm not on board

Starting point is 00:39:35 with that's where i i don't even care what the joke is but if someone goes too soon you're like well then you're you should not you should just never tell that person a joke. Yeah, that's for sure. If they're that serious about everything, I'd imagine in Ukraine there's some jokes going around. Right.

Starting point is 00:39:51 I'd imagine that guy's dad does not hate Ukraine. I would imagine like there's, you know, it's whatever. He did a Seinfeld reference, which makes sense,

Starting point is 00:40:02 you know, and he's saying Ukraine is not weak like that's not a bad also their leader is a comedian yeah that's true also that yeah i forgot about that i saw some picture went viral of the stand-up show in the like the bomb shelters of ukraine that was pretty cool that was very cool and then yeah they did ukraine's that way so it's like some like your dad's making a, he's just making a Seinfeld reference.

Starting point is 00:40:28 So yeah, that would, but anybody that says too soon, I'm not on board with. Like, because it's, it's that person should, even if I thought,

Starting point is 00:40:37 I mean, this is me saying what I think about, you know, which is my whole life is about observation. But I would never, I would not say too soon. I just wouldn't say anything. I would walk away. Or you'd be like, oh, yeah, and then you move on.

Starting point is 00:40:51 Why do I need to say? What does the too soon help? Does it need to? Like, it feels weird to, I mean, even though I'm berating this person for saying too soon. But it's like, you know, but everybody knows that feeling of just like when someone goes, it's too soon, man. And you're like, all right, dude.

Starting point is 00:41:07 Like, I don't, what do you want to do? Right. Like, all right. I'm doing a Seinfeld reference. I mean, also just, I mean, it's not like they're saying that's bad. Like it's saying how that they're not, like they're strong, like they're strong people.

Starting point is 00:41:19 And I don't even understand the idea of being like, oh, like, like I think it's, it's on an individual basis. Yeah. So I feel like it's like, why, why are you, why are you assuming that we're all on board with what, where you are? I would, I would. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:41:35 That took a lot to get out. Yeah. If his dad, Ukraine is not weak, just go. I would have said that and they go, too soon. And then his dad should have said, well, I'm for Russia, so I don't know what he would have said. That's what I would have said. I don't know what the big deal is, dude.

Starting point is 00:41:54 I'm like way on board with Russia. We're winning. We're winning. Yeah. What do you mean, where? He goes, I'm team Russia. Yeah. You go, oh.

Starting point is 00:42:03 Yeah, I would. Your dad, I would just be like yeah don't make jokes around that person like you know just because it's like all right well they're not fun no more fun for you yeah no more fun for you you know it's like right please don't they don't you know it's like if they say too soon you're like then it is what it is what i'd love to hear the other side that they go no no he he, no, he has Russia flags everywhere. And you go, oh. He had a Putin mask on.

Starting point is 00:42:30 You're like, well, we didn't get all the, okay. And you go, yeah, that's why they said too soon. David Eklund, after liberating Rome during World War II, the Pope gave some of the American soldiers an audience. My grandpa, who was a Methodist from Iowa, went along with some Catholic friends. The Pope came along a row and stuck out his hand. My grandpa was first in line and didn't know the drill,

Starting point is 00:42:55 so he shook the Pope's hand. The Pope shook it back. Grandpa didn't realize he had messed up until the Pope continued on and all his buddies kissed his ring. Decades later, my grandpa could laugh about it but it was but about it was still embarrassed he always said that the pope was the only person who ever thanked him for going to war that's so funny wait so i don't understand i don't understand what he was so he shook his hand he wasn't supposed to so i guess there's a ritual that I didn't know about where if the Pope does a public – he has a ring and you'd kiss his ring.

Starting point is 00:43:30 And this Methodist guy just walked up and goes, hey, put her there. Just shook his hand. How you doing? I mean, the Iowa thing makes sense. He goes, take his hat off. He goes, Steve Johnson, how you doing? Nice friend. The Pope's got – he's into that golf cart and he's like –

Starting point is 00:43:44 it hurts his arm because it's like, oh. He goes, all right. And then he just turns his hand back this way, and the next person, and they kiss his ring. He's like, why no? Why would you? Who would think? I mean, yeah, he's from America.

Starting point is 00:43:58 It would have been weird to assume that. I mean, it's really awkward when you misunderstand something like that. That happened to me. I was at a club, and there was a show going on and a server at the club came up to me and she had like a basket of those chicken fingers and french fries. And she came up to me and she had her mask on and she pointed to me and I go, I guess I'm hungry. And so I grabbed a chicken finger and I dipped it in the sauce and I ate

Starting point is 00:44:26 it. She's offering me. I was like, sure. But she said something. I didn't really understand what she said. And the way she looked at me and go, something's not right. And I go, what did you say? And she goes, do you want some fries? Like she couldn't eat the

Starting point is 00:44:42 French fries. So she was offering me fries. She can only eat the chicken nuggets and I took the one third of her meal I took it right in her face and said no to the french fries you probably just handed out hors d'oeuvres I was like no she was still offering something

Starting point is 00:44:58 it's a little bit on her Buffalo helium is amazing is that where it was? Buffalo helium is great. But, yeah, it's a mix of – I don't feel like you can just – I mean, I felt – I was like, oh, man, this is so – I can't be – And, of course, I had to be – it wasn't like I was like a small – this is like the thing that's like, oh, this happens to me all the time.

Starting point is 00:45:26 Yeah, yeah. Like, I can't wait. Well, just, I mean, I think it's then, you know, you made it known. Don't go point food at Justin unless it's open game. Unless you're ready to lose it all. Is it open season? Unless you're ready to lose it all. How would you know?

Starting point is 00:45:41 I thought she was going to tell you, like, I'm trying to get by you. Exactly. Yeah, this is somebody's. Yeah. And she's like, I'm trying to get by. Exactly. Yeah, this is somebody's customer. Yeah, and she's like, I need to go that way. And you go, which would be very funny. She's like, hey, can I, I just kind of try to squeeze by real fast. And you just eat these people's, like, there's a toll to get around you. And you go.

Starting point is 00:46:04 Justin Smith toll He stands in the front of the kitchen Whenever they order You're like I'd order a little extra of it And they go Why? We have to pay this toll

Starting point is 00:46:15 To get by Justin He gets a handful of every plate Yeah he gets a handful of everything He tries a little bit of every You get nachos And you're like What happened to this side? That's a toll

Starting point is 00:46:24 On the menu And you got him early And he ain't eating So You get nachos and you're like, what happened to this side? That's a toll. On the menu. And you got them early and you ain't eating. When he goes on stage, the door's locked. Yeah. I'd come to the late show. At least he's grazed for a while. He's a little less aggressive.

Starting point is 00:46:40 Yeah, it's a little. First show, I mean, you might as well order two plates. He lets a few more greens go. That's a little. First show, I mean, you might as well order two plates. He lets a few more greens go. That's crazy. Oh, that's great. Steven Nupp took my dad to see Nate in San Antonio. Safe to say, Nate has a new fan. Haven't heard my dad laugh that hard in years.

Starting point is 00:47:06 Mom asked when we got home, how was it? My dad said it was the funniest time out i've had in years my mom replied our 40th anniversary party was three weeks oh funnest time out i've had in years my mom replied our 40th anniversary party was three weeks ago my dad replied so you want me to start lying to you now? Nate also lost a fan, so net zero. That's great. Just break it even. Yeah. One asked, can we get an episode with Nate's sister? Oh, this is from Miriam Gregorgio.

Starting point is 00:47:37 We've had Miriam. Miriam Gregory. Miriam Gregory. Yeah. Can we get an episode with Nate's sister? I would love to hear her side of the stories. Thanks for all the laughs that's never gonna happen

Starting point is 00:47:46 so no I think I wanna do we're gonna do one I wanna do one I'll get my Abigail and my brother Derek

Starting point is 00:47:57 that would be fun you can get your 23 year old son on too yes yeah talk to him about stuff by the way you guys are doing great so uh

Starting point is 00:48:06 yeah with that he just last night so much fun yeah last so much yeah last night we were you know we're recording this early uh i mean recorded it earlier than when you will see this but we were in uh augusta georgia last night and he goes, these people were like so excited. He goes, I had like, I mean, five or six people that were like, are you his son? Are you his son? And so just keep it up, you know? Yeah. And sometimes if Chase is not out at the merch table,

Starting point is 00:48:37 it's because they have the building sell it. So sometimes he's not selling it. So if you don't see him, that's why. But he's around. But he's around. But, I mean, you don't have to, you know. But you get a heads up. If you don't see him, that's why. But he's around. But he's around. But I mean, you don't have to, you know. But you get a heads up. If you don't see him, that's kind of why.

Starting point is 00:48:49 Sometimes he walks back there and you might see him. But a lot of times he is selling the merch. And then you feel free to ask him. Maybe that's a new merch idea. Yeah. I saw it. I don't think he would tell us either. Like, I mean, he told us.

Starting point is 00:49:02 Because he randomly will bring it up. I think he kind of just think, like, you know. So I hope, like. would tell us either. I mean, he told us because he randomly will bring it up. I think he kind of just think like, you know, so I hope like. It's so great. I think it'll be a long time before he goes, yeah, dude, a lot of people are saying that. Yeah. You know. I saw a comment on Reddit that said,

Starting point is 00:49:16 can somebody post a picture of Nate's 23-year-old son? Yeah. And somebody who didn't listen to the podcast was like, nah, dude, we should respect his privacy. They're like, don't do this. Like, you don't need to, we should respect his privacy. They're like, don't do this. You don't need to do this to Nate's kid. Yeah, guys, don't. It's crossing the line, guys.

Starting point is 00:49:31 You guys, you crossed the line. My wife doesn't even know about him. So, too far. Hey, I'm Jillian. And I'm Patrick. And together we make the podcast True Crime Obsessed. If you love documentaries the way we love documentaries, you might be interested in our show

Starting point is 00:49:48 because we recap all the documentaries that you're watching. We've covered just about every true crime case you can imagine. We're talking the Hatchetwielding Hitchhiker, the Ted Bundy tapes. What else? The Turpin 13. Yes. With the amazing sisters who basically tell the story.

Starting point is 00:50:01 The girl in the picture. Yes. All the documentaries you love to talk about with your friends. We're your friends now. We're the friends you talk about with your friends. We're your friends now. We're the friends you talk about that stuff with. Yeah. We're true crime obsessed podcast, citrus and Apple podcasts,

Starting point is 00:50:11 Spotify, or wherever you listen. So this week we are talking about what books, books, so far we've come. If you'd asked me a year ago that we'd be doing a books episode, I would have thought it would have taken a little longer.

Starting point is 00:50:32 This is definitely the facial hair crew for this particular topic. I don't even know. I don't even know where this is going to go. Do you remember the last book you read? Let's cover to cover. Lone Survivor. Okay. Probably. when was that when like right when that book came out when was that book came out it's been a minute yeah yeah yeah uh that movie

Starting point is 00:50:57 came out like 10 years ago yeah i would say yeah we have no internet in here right now i mean this is the best i would say lone survivor i'm gonna no internet in here right now. I mean, this is the best time. I would say Lone Survivor. I'm going to say, maybe the books episode, we don't use the internet. We're trying not to. Yeah. That's what's killing books is the internet. I know.

Starting point is 00:51:14 Yeah, I would do Lone. Yeah, I think it was Lone Survivor. My dad always wanted me to read The Hobbit, and he would always give it to me, and I never read it. And I never, I was like, read it and I never I was like this is great and I was like I don't want to get in

Starting point is 00:51:27 my dad and brother like really into like Harry Potter or Hobbit like they like all that Lord of the Rings Lord of the Rings all that stuff

Starting point is 00:51:34 and I just don't like that stuff so I was like I never never read it I started reading it once and then I was like I don't know come out dude

Starting point is 00:51:41 I feel like Harry Potter's the exception but I understand like I never got into Lord of the Rings like any of that stuff I want to read I want to read a lot more I do come out dude i feel like harry potter's exception but i understand like i never got in the lord of the ring like any of that stuff i want to read i want to read a lot more i do i am i i actually got a book on the scribd and whatever and now i can't think of the name of it but it's like this mystery book and it's like this crazy thing and i try to but i am i have a hard time focusing. It's tough, man. It's, yeah.

Starting point is 00:52:05 I mean, I can't even make it to a page. And it's like I get done with a paragraph, and I go, I don't even know what that paragraph was about. I feel like I used to be able to read books. Yeah. Yeah. Like I used to be able to like, I could focus. That was a bad place to pause.

Starting point is 00:52:21 Yeah. I used to be able to read books. Books. Yeah. You know, he gave gave me for my birthday he gave me the phil knight uh book shoe dog oh yeah and so i was excited to read that and it's like i'm gonna try it like i got in my backpack i'm like all right let's read this like but it's uh i don't know man i. I feel like biographies are, like, I, it's easier for me to read biographies because I feel it's easier to jump into the story. And they start so much quicker as opposed to, like, you have to, somebody has to set up a whole world.

Starting point is 00:53:01 And instead of, a biography is like, it's the world that we live in now. Right. and instead of a biography is like it's the world that we live in now right or something like lord of the rings you they have to introduce a whole new vocabulary places things people yeah i mean you know how many words i butchered in harry potter oh my gosh when i when i went to see the movie i was like oh so that's how you say hermione yeah is that yeah because that what that's what wasn't bouncing around yeah i would uh i read i've read like you know i read uh jordan's journal i swear i used to be able to read books and honestly it might maybe it's like the way the life is now with the internet social media and all this stuff that

Starting point is 00:53:37 you're just you have no attention for anything that's long uh but yeah i mean i i mean honestly i don't know if i could even read a book right now. Like, I don't think I would register. I could. It's like I could do it. Like, but I don't, you know. It's like if you ask me to run a marathon, you're like, I mean, I can. Yeah, in theory.

Starting point is 00:53:56 In theory, it's going to take me a few months, a year. Yeah. You know, I'll probably put it away. Just live in some random house for six years and then i'll get back out and go do it again but it's yeah i don't know if i could it's a it's i mean can you get like i don't even pay attention i do audiobooks is what i do i don't i know i have trouble listening well it's also it's also because there's books that that have the readers can be bad yeah that's the other part too is you'll have a book that is it could be an amazing book but if It's also because there's books that have – readers can be bad. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:54:25 That's the other part, too, is you'll have a book that could be an amazing book, but if the person reading it is not performing well, then it's not good. Some of the best audiobooks are because the guy reading them, or lady, is performing them at a high caliber. Yeah, you got to say lady. They're allowed to read books now. Yeah, they are. I mean, that's recent though, right?

Starting point is 00:54:48 Maybe in your early days when only men could read and read stuff. But yeah, dude, that's disrespectful. Women are allowed. They've been allowed to read, you know, 90s, early 90s. Yeah. At least 85. At least, right before Jordan got on his run. Right, right.

Starting point is 00:55:04 I remember specifically Jordan getting on his run right right i remember specifically jordan getting on his run and hearing a lot more women talk about it i go how do y'all even know this has happened how do you read the papers yeah i go you what and then we read it oh yeah that's that's my thing with movie that's why i think i'm watching these old movies or something like it's like uh and i i just i just think it's like i'm so busy or something and your mind just always going that i just i just can't even focus to try i got a few things that i can kind of focus on and the rest is and we're down we're getting narrowed down yeah it's yeah it's not much there's a there's a small i used to be to do all this and now you're like i can only I can only focus on it.

Starting point is 00:55:46 I got this tiny little. You're doing really well in that spot, though. I'm doing great. Yeah. There's not a lot of new coming in, but there's just a lot of specific me that's coming in. Yeah, yeah. Not a ton of new. No.

Starting point is 00:55:58 Not a big net. No, you don't need all that. I don't need all that. Right there. Just right there. Maybe instead of like, because also the that you're talking about are really big. Yeah. But I mean,

Starting point is 00:56:07 I'm, you know, I'm a normal American that should be able to get through a book. Like I don't, don't, you shouldn't be like, uh, I was American.

Starting point is 00:56:15 Doesn't matter. I'm a normal human. I am just a, you know, it's like, I'm not, it's what, I don't know what to,

Starting point is 00:56:22 maybe I, I mean, maybe I'm not normal. Maybe something's wrong with my brain, but it's great. great i don't see how how can you not get there y'all don't have any trouble like you remember it i mean i do audiobooks that's how i do it you can read a book i have i think i have trouble magazine i couldn't read an article i mean you i try to read an article and it's big you're like come on on. There's no. Get to it.

Starting point is 00:56:46 Yeah. Well, I don't even know. I don't even, I wouldn't even know. Like I would just bail on it and then be like, I can't. I can take in new information. I think I like talking about it and I like hearing about it from someone. Like if I hear it and I trust that person, I'm like, I like hearing this person tell me this kind of thing. There's some things that I can can but it's very specific so maybe that's a new just as older you get you go i'm not distracted

Starting point is 00:57:09 by as much noise i see what is noise and what is not noise and i just focus on the not noise and the rest of it i'm like where am i going to go with that you know i do know it takes me longer to read things because i gotta tell like i'll be with uh hanging out with my girl and she's like read this article yeah and then i i can she'll hand it to me, and I start reading, and I can tell that she's like – being like, man, it did not take me this long. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could feel her nervous energy. And now I'm like, oh, no, I'm taking way too long.

Starting point is 00:57:36 That's the worst when two people are reading the same thing at once, and you have to adjust to their speed, and you're like, let's just – They're done. They're doing something else, and you're like, oh. you know they're done they're doing something else you held that phone up pretty early in that story I mean there was a good five seconds of I don't know he goes to my girlfriend

Starting point is 00:57:55 like the other day I was like I was doing this like she'll do she'll show me an article and you're like oh okay I mean I was like I don't know what's happening with this it took a long time to get to that. He goes, so my girlfriend will, you know, like sometimes we hang out at night. And so she'll be sitting there.

Starting point is 00:58:13 And I'm like, what are you doing? And she goes, well, I was thinking the other day, did you read this article? Was there no phone there? That's his note. He goes, she goes, we read this article in the newspaper. And you're like, well, what was that? He goes, what? He doesn't even know he's doing it he's not even aware he just just you talk about not knowing what you do with your hands in a picture your your hands are just going to send

Starting point is 00:58:36 every story you're like okay it was at the grocery store and i was sitting there reading uh you know on the one of the magazines and the people, I turn it over, and you're like, what was that about? He goes, I don't know. I don't know how to not do that. Top selling books of all time. You know what they are? First one's probably easy.

Starting point is 00:59:04 Bible's not even close. Second book, I would be very surprised if you get. Old Man and the Sea. No. Koran. Koran's number three. Okay. So number two, is it a real book or is it like a religious book?

Starting point is 00:59:19 It's not a religious book, but it's not like a novel. Dictionary. Yeah. These are not i don't know you're laughing but i don't know i don't know why that made me laugh yeah it is a collection of quotations from chairman mao well how would i ever so that's what i'm saying it was a 1.1 billion copies wow uh how who is chairman like in uh he's a leader of the communist revolution in china in 1949 and chairman of the chinese communist party of china people had to read it i was gonna say the government probably bought all this yeah i was gonna say i've been it's a very loose like because i'm them two reading books you're like i mean all right like we

Starting point is 01:00:02 weren't into it yeah i've been to so many libraries. And let me tell you something. He passed the book out better than anybody. We had to read it. I've never been to a library where we're like, oh, yeah, this is my first edition of the letters. And the book is just quotes of him? Just, yeah. Contains 427 quotes on 33 different topics i would probably

Starting point is 01:00:27 be i could probably i probably get through that book because it's it depends on how long his quotes are yeah just little bite-sized pieces but it's like sun doesn't shine on the other side like it's like that yeah i don't know they're like i'm just thinking of a quote yeah yeah and i'd be like okay all right it doesn't it's on this side so it never shines on the other side you're uh keep your friends close. Keep your enemies closer. Yeah. Stuff like that.

Starting point is 01:00:47 Yeah, his are all just very, you know. He just starts quoting Goodfellas. They're just like bumper stickers. They're bumper stickers that he, be happy. He go, okay. Yeah. That's quite a quote, Mal. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:01:00 That communism merch store must be crazy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's all merch. Number four, you've already mentioned it, Lord of the Rings. Oh. Best-selling novel in history. To date, it has sold around 155 million copies all around the world.

Starting point is 01:01:15 Wow. So that's up there. That's good. That's cool. Good for Lord of the Rings. Longest book ever? I mean. Is it?

Starting point is 01:01:25 I never would. No. what is the longest book ever I don't know if I could watch the movie I don't know if I could make it it's three movies they made it three movies yeah I think I've seen it but I remember around

Starting point is 01:01:35 that time I was like I could tell if I'm not interested in this I don't even it's it is

Starting point is 01:01:42 pointless of me watching it I just I did I did I hated I hated it but I is pointless of me watching it I just I did I did I hated I hated the phrase hated it but I like

Starting point is 01:01:48 other than that Helms Deep battle which was amazing I was just like man I'm good call me when you got some wands yeah

Starting point is 01:01:57 I don't even know what any of that meant wands like like magic oh wands yeah wands oh what did you think I said y-u-a-n that's how I pictured that was spelled in my head

Starting point is 01:02:11 wands y-u-a-n not a j so you misspelled it even in your head yeah when you said it I go y-u-a-n what is that it's a wan yeah it's a wan

Starting point is 01:02:24 if you had to guess Justin When you said it, I go, why are you a yon? What is that? It's a one. Yeah, what's a one? A yon. If you had to guess, Justin, whether there were more McDonald's or libraries in the United States, what would you guess? In my head, I would guess McDonald's. Yeah, me too. There are 14,157 McDonald's restaurants, 121,000 libraries. So too many libraries. That's good to know. Too many.

Starting point is 01:02:52 Too many. We can get rid of some of them. We can get – there's probably a ton of them we can get rid of. Now, only 16,000 of those are public libraries, like the ones – like the city library and stuff. There we go, switching things around again. But that's still more than McDonald's. Okay, let's not act like that really changes things yeah yeah well it's a big number so you don't like private libraries yeah like a private like a is this a library i got those books up there you that have clearly never been cracked from what we're understanding now i read a lot of

Starting point is 01:03:19 them about comedy and that first still team six i. I mean, I loved reading that stuff. Yeah. And I just am having a harder time reading. But you got that Zero Footprints book. That book, you were the one that recommended me that. Yeah. I never stopped. And it was great. And I stopped.

Starting point is 01:03:35 Because I think I liked it. But I was like, I just don't have. Nate was like, went and got that book. He's like, man, this book is... I wanted a book. It's going to be great. And I go, oh, dude, it looks interesting.

Starting point is 01:03:50 I'll get it. And so I got the audio book and I spent 18 hours of my life listening to that book. And it was amazing. Don't get me wrong, it was amazing. And so I called Nate

Starting point is 01:04:00 like two weeks later and I was like, hey, did you finish the book? And he goes, no. I go, well, are you finish the book and he goes no i go are you like halfway and he goes no i forgot about it i don't even know where it's at i know exactly where it's at on the bus oh yeah oh yeah because you see if it moves every day because every time we open up the he's got to look at the book to get the Xbox controller. Yeah. He's using it every day.

Starting point is 01:04:26 Still not moving. Yeah. I remember I bought my dad this DVD for Christmas. And then like five years later, I just saw it on the bookshelf. Rapper's still on it. Oh, that's great. He's just like, I don't know. Yeah. I didn't care to watch it.

Starting point is 01:04:38 What was it? Frost Nixon. Oh, yeah. You remember that movie? He was like, oh yeah i don't think if i don't know that if i was trying to bond with my pop i don't know if i would bring out frost nixon yeah well yeah this will break the ic but this is a very this comes as elite family well i guess that's true so yeah you you probably watch like Field of Dreams or something. That's Common Mouth. You watch Frost. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:05:10 You could get this listed as a library, Nate. We'll call this the Bargetzi Library. Bargetzi Library. And I can come. You can issue cards and come check out a book. Yeah, and you're welcome to take out a book. Yeah. Bargetzi Memorial Library. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:05:21 So the fastest reader in the world. Are we dead now? No, no, no. Just Memorial Library. Anybody can come the fastest reader in the... Are we dead now? No, no, no. Just Memorial Library. Anybody can come in here and remember you. I don't think you have to have... That's a misconception. I think you can be Memorial.

Starting point is 01:05:32 Yeah. No. No. Memorial, I mean Memorial Day. Don't you... Memorial Day is about... Remembering. Past and present.

Starting point is 01:05:42 No, not... No, that's not... When you do Memorial Day, they say all the troops stand up. No. For the past. For the people of the past. I know. Memorial Day is for people who have died.

Starting point is 01:05:53 Right. Veterans Day is everybody. I mean, maybe. I mean, if you want to live it that way. I don't live it that way. I go the opposite. You guys are just living wrong. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:06:04 How do you dress for a funeral? You wear like a very flashy suit because you think it's a good time? You don't know what, you don't understand what stuff is? Here you go. I thought we just remembered him. I thought we were having fun, dude. I thought he was going to be here. You said there's a memorial service.

Starting point is 01:06:20 I go, I text him and said, I'm late. I'll be there in a little bit. And you're telling me you walk in just devastated. Every Memorial Supper, you are just overwhelmed. Because you just are like, yeah. Oh, yeah, we're meeting up there. All right, dude, I'll meet you up there. That's great.

Starting point is 01:06:35 I haven't seen him in a while. I have. He's gone. You're like, just lose it. It's because you don't understand what Memorial means. I have recommended a buddy of mine have recommended somebody I knew was having a passed away. And they were like, let's take suggestions of things we should do to remember them. And I was like, I don't know.

Starting point is 01:06:55 Why don't we do a fireworks show? And I thought it was a great idea. Because everybody's always trying to find new industries. People are trying to make funerals happy now. And I was like, why not a fireworks show? Everybody loves a fireworks show and the way they all looked at me was like they hated the idea so much kind of like you guys are looking at me right now so what did they they were like we're just gonna do a funeral well they should yeah it was the most bait they were like

Starting point is 01:07:18 let's do something out of the box and they did everything exactly normal hey i'm not against you saying fireworks i mean mean, I like fireworks. You got the ball started. I'm telling you. And maybe they're like, yeah, that is crazy. If you went to a funeral with fireworks, you would never forget it. Yeah, you're right. I would not forget that.

Starting point is 01:07:36 You would not forget it. Now, Justin, God forbid we come to your funeral. Do you want me to do fireworks? Oh, I want all of them. I want you to have the tent on the ground okay and then throw a road flare in okay i'm gonna have to cut this tape up and show it to your family before i go horrify them by launching fireworks off of your face he's gonna show up before they named me they named me justin carl so you're gonna show them

Starting point is 01:07:58 the video within a day of him dying. So here's Aaron. Justin's just passed. We've got a Baron him Tuesday. Right. Aaron plops in. Would you mind watching some of the Nate Land podcast? So I can show you why we're doing. I'm going to shoot fireworks at your son's funeral.

Starting point is 01:08:24 That's the only time you could show him. That is right. Yeah. Like one day to show show them. That's right, yeah. Like one day to show them that. How you doing, Aaron Weber? They're like, who are you? You go, so we're going to shoot fire. You don't even say who you are. It doesn't matter.

Starting point is 01:08:37 But we're going to shoot fireworks off at your son's funeral. Well, he died yesterday. Well, you know, you understand the time crunch I'm in. We've got to get on the horn here. We've got to drive to Arkansas. Right, right, right. We've got to find a supplier. Yeah. Golly.

Starting point is 01:08:52 I'm going to tell you something. If there's anybody that knows where to find illegal fireworks, it's the Smith family. Really? Oh, yeah. I think his dad would be. Oh, yeah. His dad would. I mean, we would.

Starting point is 01:09:02 He would figure it out. I'm going to tell you, my dad would not shed a tear during the whole i think we have to tone his dead back we have to go you gotta he would yeah he would he would spend everything that he was going to spend on the funeral on fireworks and on fireworks how do these fireworks stores uh what do they do i mean i don't know fireworks but but there's only the two days a year you can shoot fireworks off and there are these huge structures on the side of the interstate. What is going on in there? I think it's like a novelty.

Starting point is 01:09:29 I think people buy them for the July. Like, July's in the middle, so you're always around it. And then if you're in a place that doesn't sell it, you're like, hey, let's just stop and get fireworks now. Do you think somebody in March is like, let's go ahead and buy some fireworks? I mean, people buy them for St. Patrick's Day. In Florida, they were shooting them off at New Year's. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:09:48 Florida, a lot. New Year's. Yeah, obviously, New Year's. Christmas, holiday show. Yeah. Okay, now I understand why you were trying to do it at a funeral. You just did it for Columbus Day. Who doesn't love fireworks?

Starting point is 01:10:02 That's crazy. Memorial Day. Okay. Fastest reader of all time. The average human being reads at about 250 to 300 words per minute with a comprehension of 70%. So that means you read at that speed, you only retain about 70% of it. The world's fastest reader, Maria Teresaa calderon for the philippines

Starting point is 01:10:26 80 000 words per minute that's i mean with 100 comprehension i don't know she says a photogenic you don't buy it i mean evidently she read a three page-level essay of 3,135 words in 3.5 seconds. So that's about... She just has a photogenic memory. That's all it is. It's not reading. It's being able to recall. That's 100% comprehension.

Starting point is 01:10:56 Yeah. She can just look at a page, and she remembers every word. Yeah. You just look at it like that, and you take it all in. How do they know? Do they, does she go, and they go,

Starting point is 01:11:07 did you just read it? And she goes, I did. They go, golly, dude. Are you kidding me right now? And you know what it's talking about? She goes,

Starting point is 01:11:16 yeah. I know everything. Well, they probably. God, that's so crazy. All right, let's put it in the

Starting point is 01:11:21 World Book of, did you get his, did you see it? I didn't read the record, but. Done, done, done Book. Did you get it? Did you get the record book? Done, done, done. You read that whole thing? Whole thing. That's about the speed that she read that.

Starting point is 01:11:31 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You ever read that old Brian Regan joke? I got my speed reading up. Yeah. My comprehension plummeted. That is very funny.

Starting point is 01:11:43 Yeah, she would go like this. She'd go. And then be like, and you comprehended that whole thing? You go, yep. What's comprehension, man? She doesn't know that. What's comprehension, man? He's like, you understand it?

Starting point is 01:12:00 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just not the word comprehension. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just not the word coffee. Yeah. A 2009 study of the University of Sussex found that reading can reduce stress by up to two-thirds, making it a much more efficient relaxation method than listening to music, drinking tea, or even taking a walk.

Starting point is 01:12:20 You believe that? No, because this is the most stressful episode of this podcast that I've ever done. All we're doing is talking about reading. I feel a lot of pressure when I read. It's a lot. Yeah. Because I know as I read this page, I know I'm going to forget it as I turn it. And then I'm just starting anew like the book started. I would need a book.

Starting point is 01:12:40 One page long. No. If you want me to understand a a book the first chapter needs to be the same page over and over again and i need like you just and i just keep reading the same and eventuate until i go like all right i'm good and then i move on it's like the hassle of that i think i'd have to read it and i would start some i barely get you know there's some of these comments no not the comments but i barely get like a paragraph you know i'm like i'm i don't know yeah i feel like it's like i'm too busy or something you know it's like there's a lot on your mind that's what makes you a lot going on yeah i

Starting point is 01:13:14 feel like also like there's a lot of times you read books and they get like really frustrating like i read elvis's biography when i say read it i mean i listened to it okay and and it frustrated you no it was the fact that it was the biography. I looked it up because my girl is really into Elvis. And so I was like, I'm going to learn more about it because I don't really know that much. So I was like, I'm just going to join the cast. You're taking an interest in her interest. Yeah, so I wanted to.

Starting point is 01:13:38 And I read all the things, and everybody said that this biography was the best one. It's called The Last Train to Memphis. And I'm like, oh, my gosh oh my gosh i can't wait and i looked it up and it's like 18 hours long audiobook and so i'm i'm again i'm investing in my relationship yeah that's what i'm doing yeah and for 18 hours i mean this is like two two road weekends you know like i'm investing the whole way yeah and then uh i'm i'm sitting there and i'm like, I got to be close to the end. And he's getting on a boat to go to Germany, like in the military. And then the book just ends. Oh, really?

Starting point is 01:14:15 It's like, bro, you didn't even get to Vegas Elvis. He's going to Germany. He's famous, but it's still just like bubblegum, pink suit, soda fountain Elvis. Did you download the whole book? Whole book. 18 hours. And they didn't give it anything fun. Nothing like that.

Starting point is 01:14:37 So that was childhood stuff? I mean, a little bit, but it's all just like, hey, they went to hang out, and then they get cheeseburgers. That's crazy. And then they went to Mobile, and they went and they got cheeseburgers. And then you're like, this is the most infuriating. I spent 18 hours. I mean, I was so excited to get to the crazy.

Starting point is 01:14:53 I mean, I want him to shoot guns from an airplane. Right. I want the fried peanut butter sandwich Elvis. Yeah. Chubby Elvis. Gemstone. There you go. I mean, a fat famous guy is i love it so much and the fact that the guy's like

Starting point is 01:15:09 he got halfway there and he's like all right and like almost like you know the rest of the story yeah yeah so and there was no mention of a second book whatsoever that's the idea in raging my theory with that idea is it's someone that's it's like the guy writes it thinking like you know what we all know the elva story where you're like no one probably really does that much you know not not that i mean like people that were alive when he did but you're like so he's like i'm gonna tell he's like but everybody knows the end of it i'll just tell the beginning and then people read it my theory is that most of them don't like it, but they're embarrassed to not like it because it's like the guy writes it is going,

Starting point is 01:15:50 here's the beginning life of Elvis. And then all those people, they go, yeah, no, I loved it. It was great. And everybody's aligned. If you could get them all just alone, you'd be like, come on. Do we really like this book? And they'd be like, well, I wish she would have done more. Exactly.

Starting point is 01:16:05 It's like any time you watch a Batman movie. They're literally like, they go to the Bruce Wayne, they show the parents and all this stuff, and you're like, can we just get to where he's punching the Joker in the face? Can we just do that? Once a few people like something, it's like, I feel like it just goes. But I have no idea. There are a couple books that have become standards to read in high school scarlet letter yeah and uh moby dick's another one you ask any nobody likes those

Starting point is 01:16:31 books yeah these are not enjoyable reads yeah but for some reason they've just become part of what we need to teach yeah scarlet letter is awful dude yeah that book stinks it's brutal moby dick is awful. Yeah. But it's just part of it. But you're right. I think we lined up everybody and go, can we all just agree? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:16:52 We can move on to something else. These are the older books. Let's read Lone Survivor instead. It's probably a way better book. Yeah. Did you guys get Christian books when you were kids? Bible? No, no, no, no. The Catechism there was uh it was really popular

Starting point is 01:17:08 when i was in middle school and high school or more middle school but there was like christian authors that would find like they were like left behind stuff like that no like there's a guy in particular that i'm thinking of his name is frank Peretti is his name. Okay. Never heard of him. And he was like the Christian Stephen King. Oh. So he wrote like supernatural things. Like one of those books that he wrote that I was like, that everybody like in my school

Starting point is 01:17:36 like passed around was like a book called The Oath. And it was about an invisible dragon that would eat people that would commit sins. Oh, yeah. And you're like like oh my gosh yeah invisible dragon the cover was so it was awesome because it was like you're like oh dude i don't know what's going on in there it's like it's like there's jesus message in there like yeah that's the best part is like whenever you were like in like a strict household if something was like i feel like it was like breaking the rules kind of but you're like oh it's christian

Starting point is 01:18:02 yeah like look at look at that cover i love the snake tongue on it and the eyes passed around like like the kids were dealing drugs at your high school we passed that book around like a brian reagan album like do you have the oath yeah i can get i can get you the oath dude there was a when you go we go to the school library and there's a wait list on it it was like it was like three weeks deep oh to get that book we had harry potter at the library we were reading the good mainstream stuff oh it was crazy trying to brag or anything yeah i know you're big into dictionaries nate you know in the first dictionary well you mentioned it earlier i am i was trying to do some segues here dude samuel johnson wrote the first english dictionary 17 1755. Took him seven years.

Starting point is 01:18:45 42,700 entries with 114,000 literary examples. He only got help writing the examples from assistants. The rest he did completely himself. Wow. Some dude just sat down and wrote the dictionary. That's the first. Did he make money off of it? First English one.

Starting point is 01:19:03 Would have took seven years? Seven years to do it. I wonder if he made money. I'm hoping he did. Yeah. I mean, that's quite a service he's done for the English-speaking world. Yeah, yeah. I don't know.

Starting point is 01:19:13 Back then, I don't feel like they would do that stuff off pride. Yeah. Yeah, it was published. Yeah. Oh, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He got money for this. He was living large after this. Oh, really? Yeah. Why? Because it was published. Yeah. Oh, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He got money for this. He was living large after this.

Starting point is 01:19:26 Oh, really? Yeah. Wow, because it was published? Well, oh, yeah, he got money. He got money for doing this. Oh, it says he got some of 1,500 guineas. What is the other coin? Which is like the equivalent of $250,000 to write

Starting point is 01:19:46 this yeah which I guess over the course of seven years $250,000 over seven years I mean back then

Starting point is 01:19:52 though $250,000 probably was $10 million right like what's the modern equivalent

Starting point is 01:19:59 yeah oh it'd be like $250,000 oh maybe it's like driving for uber like he had another job and then every night he went home and wrote the dictionary and he and he have to explain that to people they're like what right yeah he doesn't know and he goes oh that's right all right i'll put dictionary and he writes it down and he puts i need to put the definition

Starting point is 01:20:20 dictionary anytime he says someone. They just want something. And he goes, what, what? And he goes, and then he hands him a pen. He goes, once he gets the pen back, he goes, pen. Write that down. You know? You'll like this. The dictionary you've heard of, Noah Webster, Webster's Dictionary, 1806.

Starting point is 01:20:40 It was the first truly American dictionary. Now, he tried to simplify the spelling of a lot of words because he thought the way the English people spelled it was too complex. He changed, you ever see when they put the R before the E at the end of a word? Yeah. Like center, C-E-N-T-R-E. He's like, let's just, come on, just put the E-R. That's how it sounds. He changed plow, P-L-O-U-G-H, to like P-L-O-W.

Starting point is 01:21:08 Yeah. So he did a bunch of that, but he tried to do a bunch more, and people were like, come on, this is too much. He wanted to change tongue to like T-U-N-G. Yeah. And just like, let's just spell it how it's written, you know? Women to W-I-M-M-E-N. Oh, I like.

Starting point is 01:21:23 Women, yeah, I knew you would be on board with this. W-I-M-E-N. He's Oh, I like... I knew you'd be on board with this. He's like, why are we spelling it different than we say it? I'm down with the tongue thing, for sure. I can't believe that one didn't catch on. I think there's a point that he goes, look, we look stupid. Like, you know, I guarantee that we look like rednecks.

Starting point is 01:21:40 So let's class up some of these words. I gave you plow. I gave you center. He goes, it seems like he's really targeting a group. He goes, I'll let you do plow. People that plow, they're going to spell like that anyway. But the tongue people, come on, dude.

Starting point is 01:21:58 These are our doctors. Let's let them. Every word that he gave them was like a dumb. like let's let them everywhere that he gave them was like a dumb like a you know like it i mean so this guy was gonna just he's like yeah we're gonna just change it everywhere yeah it i mean i'm going off just two choices but the one the manual labor farmer job he goes i don't care yeah and then tongue he's like dude these dude, these are some of our smartest people. Yeah, we are a civilization. We are a civilization.

Starting point is 01:22:30 Let's go T-O-U-N-G. Is there an E at the end of it? Yeah. T-O-U-N-G-E. Yeah. Yeah. T-O-N-G-U-E. There almost has to be a thing.

Starting point is 01:22:39 T-O-N-G-U-E. I think it said T-O-U-N. T-O-N-G-U-E i think it's a t-o-u-n t-o-n-g-u-e yep that makes sense though yeah but t-u-n-g-m is you know it would have been nice but it would have been nice but yeah but tongue t-u-n-g it does you know it just sounds like we're not going to make it do you ever write things phonetically i mean i read I read everything phonetically. Yeah. If I don't know, I'll just kind of give it a go.

Starting point is 01:23:07 Like, I just think of like, whenever I'm having to like, read something out loud, I write it the way it's supposed, like in my head, the way that it, like,

Starting point is 01:23:15 I just imagine him, that guy's like, been trying to get people on board for months. Yeah. And then he just sees somebody do it. And he's like, see,

Starting point is 01:23:23 I told you. How does he get all the words? I mean, someone gives him a... Does he just find them? Someone mails them something? I think, well, you're working off the other guy's dictionary. Yeah, but the first guy's dictionary is like, that dude just has to do it all on his own.

Starting point is 01:23:36 He's just like, the words I've heard in my life, I guess. There's a lot of sticky notes on that one. I guess it would take seven years, because you've got to be like, well, I've got to... Every day I need to come home with 10 new words. Yeah, I've got to go have conversations with people, see what they're saying. How are you doing today?

Starting point is 01:23:52 Weather good? Did you see our answers? Well, son, does it come to – oh, I think it's coming. All right, I forgot about that one. Let me put that in there. So this is a good question. How does a new word get added to the dictionary? It still happens.

Starting point is 01:24:05 Every year they add these words to the official dictionary. When people use a word or phrase frequently enough that it appears in widely read print and online publications, lexicographers take notice. What a made-up title for a job. Lexicographers. Notre Dame graduates is what it sounds like. Yeah. Okay, Oklahoma State. I didn't graduate from there. Oh, really?

Starting point is 01:24:29 I don't want to disgrace them. I'm sorry, dude. First, they collect citations of the word. They go out and find where it's used. They make sure it's coming from people with diverse backgrounds over a long period of time. It can't just be like,

Starting point is 01:24:47 if we all just start saying a word. We said bingle. Bingle. Yeah, exactly. It's got to get people from all over saying it for it to make sense. And then they review the evidence and decide if they want to put it in. Yeah. And you add a few words. they just changed the definition of literally

Starting point is 01:25:05 to basically mean anything now. Oh, wow. Because people just started, people used it wrong so much that they're like. Oh, what do you mean? So now it's. You know,

Starting point is 01:25:15 you hear people misuse literally all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Like this is literally the biggest cup I've ever seen. So they're just like, let's just let them, just let them use it it can mean figuratively too yeah which is literally the opposite of oh but if you look

Starting point is 01:25:30 at the official definition it's now says it now just means yeah you know yeah i don't know it's whatever it's not a good precedent for sure like you just yeah you just go all right that's fine we're i mean we're on our way back to T-U-N-G. You know? Like, I feel like that's the – we're just heading in that direction. They're going – they fought it back then, and now we're just like, all right, you win. Well, didn't they add, like, the skirt thing?

Starting point is 01:25:57 Like, one of the Migos', like, fill? Oh, the skirt? Yeah. That? How do you spell that? I mean, I had trouble with tongue. Probably have to use Siri. Yeah, we should.

Starting point is 01:26:11 Look, we got a bunch of COVID words got added. Breakthrough, super spreader. Yeah. Vaccine passport. That's in the dictionary now. We could have made those words up. What about-ism. I hear that a lot. I hear that a lot. Yeah. Astroturf. That just words up. What about-ism? I hear that a lot.

Starting point is 01:26:26 AstroTurf? That just got added. What? Oh, AstroTurf in that context. As what context? The figurative use of AstroTurf is used to describe political efforts, campaigns, or organizations that appear to be funded and run by ordinary people, but are in fact backed by powerful groups.

Starting point is 01:26:45 So if you're like, we're a grassroots organization organization and then there's really a billionaire giving you money in the back that's that's astro surf i'm gonna say i think we're about done with that fluffernutter that's a they're still adding a lot of fun words air fryer just got added i mean they're keeping up with the times yeah you know i'm on board with that ad, that's for sure. You a big air fryer guy? Oh, my gosh, so much. Yeah, what are you making? Pizza. You make a homemade pizza?

Starting point is 01:27:11 Not a whole one. But, like, when you get pizza, you got a few slices left over. Ghost kitchen. A commercial cooking facility used for the preparation of food consumed off the premises. Also called a cloud kitchen or a dark kitchen. Wow. Okay. Doorbell camera.

Starting point is 01:27:32 A lot of fun stuff. Yeah. So there are over 171,000 words in the English dictionary now. Oxford has two. How many? Over 170,000 in the current English dictionary. Oh, that's it? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:27:44 Oxford dictionary is 273,000 in the current English dictionary. Oh, that's it? Yeah. Oxford dictionary is 273,000. Well, you got to think, it started with 42,000 back in 1755. Yeah. And we're up to 172. So we've been adding words like crazy. Well, it's weird that there are terms now and not words, because I feel like doorbell and camera both are in the dictionary. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:28:02 It's weird that they're turned like now we're putting things together that's called like a compound word yeah but so wouldn't that be a separate dictionary or there'll be a separate section of the dictionary for compound words yeah no there's there are singular words but aren't compound words connected yeah so it's one word yeah but it's not like like the doorbell camera or blank check cup like those are all separate like like that's yeah you're not really making up a new word you're going well it's a doorbell but also there's a camera on it well those are two different things you just combined them so why are you writing a new because it's a whole different thing uh

Starting point is 01:28:41 yeah but then you're like feels like they get paid by word to do this and now they're just drumming up business they must be it's a doorbell camera it's a doorbell that has a camera on it okay that makes sense but why don't we just keep the word separate in the dictionary you know like who's going to look up doorbell on its own then go to camera and then be like still like i don't get it i mean i'm so and they go well come on down to this section uh-huh and we'll show the compound down the compound words and it's says doorbell camera because okay finally i guess you're right yeah there's there's a space in there yeah yeah it's you know that's why they call them entries

Starting point is 01:29:22 to clear up that i'm just glad you guys are on board I airballed that Memorial Day thing so bad no that's alright everything else after that I was like that was a funny moment now do you prefer if you are reading a book do you prefer having it on an electronic device

Starting point is 01:29:40 or do you like holding the actual book right now I like to read the book, but I've tried reading on my iPads and some. I do that. If I could get used to that. I've never tried a Kindle, and I think I would like to try it to see what that is like.

Starting point is 01:29:56 I don't like the Kindle. If I have read books on iPad, I read Gucci Man's biography on the iPad. Oh, it was unbelievable unbelievable his biography is one of the most exciting who wrote it uh he did i mean i mean okay i'm sure he had somebody peeking over his shoulder every once in a while right uh but i mean his his biography maybe jumps off quicker than any other biography that i've ever read like it starts from chapter one it's the most exciting better than elvis's i mean i'm mean, better than any chapter of Elvis's.

Starting point is 01:30:28 It's bananas. But it's also like cool because he's like, again, like the biographies are great because you watch people who are great and influential become great. And you see why. And they kind of like, it helps you change your process. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:30:43 You ever hear somebody just say, I just love the smell of an old, I just love the smell of a book? Yeah. Yeah. Like book collector people. Yeah. They're like, I can't do the Kindle. I love the way a book feels.

Starting point is 01:30:54 I love the smell of it. I like the way it just seems easy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, there's a word for the, the, uh, the bibliosmia is this, the smell of old books. There's a real word for that. Yeah. is the smell of old books. There's a real word for that. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:31:08 Isn't that fun? Yeah, that's fun. It just smells like mildew. Yeah, that's what it is. Moth balls and all that kind of stuff. Longest sentence ever printed. It's in the, golly, Miserable. I was going to say it was in the Tennessee Kid.

Starting point is 01:31:24 It's in the transcript in the Tennessee Kid it's in the transcript of the Tennessee Kid it's one hour straight are you going to write a book still you think you might one day I don't know maybe

Starting point is 01:31:34 I don't know that would be fun yeah I'd just love for you to do the audio book for it oh we might talk about the next one

Starting point is 01:31:43 I want to talk about that video game that you oh yeah that you did the voice book for it oh we might talk about next one i'll talk about that video game that you oh yeah you did the voiceover for yeah yeah yeah that's crazy dude yeah not just not just a guy not just a guy walking down the sidewalk no it's the main character whole thing yeah that's cool that was so that one was uh uh it's on the steam deck and uh it was very yeah it was crazy i went down there and i would do it it was so fun they were like awesome and it was just like it was yeah it was crazy to be like you're just in there doing that's the greatest gig ever is like just doing the voiceover booth i mean yeah

Starting point is 01:32:16 you're just in there and you're just saying all this stuff and aperture desk job i like that they just let you it sounded like you they were just, say it in your own voice. Yeah, yeah. They wrote it. The dudes that wrote it all, they were fans, so they kind of knew. But I would say there's a dead gummit in there. Yeah. I had that in there. I don't know for sure. I thought I tried to put a folks in there before. Oh, yeah?

Starting point is 01:32:41 I don't remember. That I don't know for sure. I would say what they wrote, but yeah. Yeah, it? I don't remember. That I don't know for sure. But I mean, I would say what they wrote, but yeah. Yeah, it's crazy, dude. It's really cool. Yeah. I haven't played the game, but

Starting point is 01:32:55 it's crazy. It's crazy. I mean, your voice fits the vibe of the whole thing. Yeah, it's hard to picture that, though. When it's your voice, you're like, I don't know. Am I that? You just...

Starting point is 01:33:08 But I feel... It's not like I'm like... You feel embarrassed. You're like, I'm not this. Like, this is... Y'all should have got someone else. That's almost what you feel.

Starting point is 01:33:18 Because you just hear your voice and you're like, I don't know what I'm doing. Right. And I'm nervous that these people... You're like, you're going to get fired, dude. You shouldn't be using me. You know? Yeah. So so but yeah it was great i mean it was it was a very

Starting point is 01:33:29 very cool thing it's cool to see it come out it's like you know i knew about it for a little bit obviously and then uh but it came out of it yeah like you know they turned it around quick i mean the game i believe was already built so that's so cool, man. Well, Les Miserables. You never see that movie? No. Okay. The book, there is a sentence, 823 words long. It's a long sentence.

Starting point is 01:33:54 That's a run-on. Longest one ever printed. President Theodore Roosevelt, we talked about him here on the podcast before. You're familiar with him. He read at least one book per day. He'd read one in the morning before breakfast and then depending on a schedule another two or three in the evening that's dedication that's yeah nothing else i don't know if uh yeah you don't know if you believe it

Starting point is 01:34:17 or that's just like a fun thing to say a book a book a whole book he would finish it yeah possibly three books a day. Before breakfast. So before breakfast, he gets up and reads up one book. Yeah. So how long was a book back then? Were they 50 pages? 40 pages?

Starting point is 01:34:37 No, they were probably the same length as the books now. It's not like books have gotten that long. Well, you think he'd read 300 pages? Might be able to. A couple, you know, an hour or two. Be able to knock one out. I mean, that's, I just feel like that's so, so. First of all, how are you, like, what else are you doing during the day?

Starting point is 01:34:55 Well, he's the president. I know. That's what I'm saying. I don't know if just nothing's going on or if you're just like. Well, let's see. Who is this? This is theodore roosevelt yeah i mean maybe you couldn't really talk to him but you know it's like he wasn't

Starting point is 01:35:09 getting calls i mean he's got to look that's true so he's not you know so he's like doing you know you just kind of sit around the house i bet it was i mean look being president back then if you're president it's like it either becomes it's either like you're doing nothing or it's the craziest thing you're in like a war like you're it's like oh you're like yeah i'm trying to read some books look at this dude you just wake up sit in that little wicker chair who who reads in a wicker chair like that's also i know i don't think it's real so you believe he's posing for this oh yeah that's not how you would read. First of all, he's a chubby guy. Nobody reads with a vest.

Starting point is 01:35:48 That's how people dress back then, man. You don't read an uncomfortable cloth. That's insane. He's the president in the 1900s. He's not going to have sweatpants on. And they just invented cameras. And so he's like, all right, I'll get dressed up for the camera. I mean, there's like, all right, I'll get dressed up for the camera. I mean, there's like that's, you know.

Starting point is 01:36:08 I mean, that's why Dave, yeah. What do they think? He's like, so I got to dress up? And you're like, I mean, it's going to be pretty obvious we're about to take this picture. I mean, I like how. I got one of him falling asleep. I'm sure he woke up when he heard that. Like he just goes, just a little loud.

Starting point is 01:36:25 Like there's lightning hitting. He's like, ah. And he goes,. Like, he just goes, just a little loud. Like, there's lightning hitting. He's like, ah. And he goes, what was that? And they're like, there's still a glow. The person just disappears. And then he's like, am I dreaming this? Well, Americans don't read the most in the world, if you can believe it or not. If you had to guess what country reads more than any other country,

Starting point is 01:36:45 what would you guess? England. You got to think about what are the, that's a great guess. What are the situations that would cause you to read a book? I'm going to say like a cold weather place, someplace like Iceland or maybe like Denmark, Sweden, someplace like that. It's Iceland.

Starting point is 01:37:11 It's Iceland. Seattle's number two. It's Iceland and Seattle. Yeah, Iceland and Seattle. I knew I was close. So we talk about bizarre books. Remember in Harry Potter, the forbidden book section? Harvard owns a book that is bound in human skin why would they have that why do they have that it's just an old book and he is published sometime in the 1880s they confirmed with 99.9 certainty that it is

Starting point is 01:37:41 bound in human skin i don't know why they're not 100 confident why is there nothing in that it's ever 100 confident if you can get to 90.99 why is that one extra just because if they get it wrong they want to be like well we told you we weren't 100 percent the book's been sitting in harvard's uh library since the 1930s and has a note inside of it from the donor who explains that the book was bound in human skin. People have used it to memorialize the dead or the still living, among other reasons. They said they got the skin from the back of a female mental patient

Starting point is 01:38:18 whose body was unclaimed after dying from a stroke. So they just scraped off her back and made a book out of it. Is there a picture of this book? I mean, do we want to look it up? I just don't. Why would you? Why would, well, just take it out of this school. There it is.

Starting point is 01:38:40 This one says debunked. What are these facts Brian's giving me? I mean, I feel like you got to like. Oh, golly. Science won internet zero. So they were 99.99% sure. That's why they were 99.99% sure. We pull up an article that says the Harvard bound book and human flesh isn't actually bound to human flesh.

Starting point is 01:39:00 It's sheepskin. I guess. Well, that's what they want you to believe because they were probably getting some flack for having a human skin book they're yeah apparently whoever wrote this is a fan of the podcast yeah why is that because it said sorry folks no it does say sorry folks up top that's very funny oh oh man that's too bad i was enjoying that are you guys sad that it wasn't human skin from a patient? Well, she was already dead. No, I was going to be like, why would y'all, why would you have it?

Starting point is 01:39:30 I would say, if they kept it, you'd be like, well, why would you do that? Like, just why are you going, well, it's a, you know, it's like, I don't know. You're going to be like, some lunatic did this. And y'all are, you know, and you keep, like, I get the idea of it. I get the idea of keeping it, but I would be like, you should never let anybody on earth know that you have the book.

Starting point is 01:39:49 It's like this gets into the world of book collecting and that's a whole different world. It's also like, if you've ever watched a documentary about book collectors, they're like, they-

Starting point is 01:39:59 Let's assume I haven't. Well, I wasn't a- It says Bigfoot country on. Keep going. It's like when people collect books like that, they just want the rarity instead of what's inside the book. It's like they've printed new versions of these books.

Starting point is 01:40:18 They're like, I want a first edition. It's like, what is that? Yeah. You're not reading the first edition. It's just like you just want something because it's old old it's like cool to have i've always wanted to collect something and i don't ever i never i like i try to think what i would want to collect and i can never find something that i'm like i would want to get into i collect so much stuff really like if you're like i like i i think i really would like i try i I'm like, what would I want? I guess I would want probably something history.

Starting point is 01:40:48 I don't know what. Maybe books. Maybe a book collector. I'm just saying that to you, trash. Yeah, maybe books. It doesn't sound. I do like Bibliosmia. I do like that.

Starting point is 01:40:57 Every time I hear about collectors, I go, I want to be a collector. I want to go. I like the idea that you're searching for something, that you're always looking for something and searching for it like i think that's it's fun it is fun yeah what do you collect i have i collect a bunch of sentimental stuff on the i'm trying to visit every baseball park in the country going around the comedy or country for comedy i get a baseball at every park okay so i have one of those for all of them i collect baseball cards that's another that's a fun one yeah by the way um it's back yeah it's back it's very yeah the market's

Starting point is 01:41:32 crazy you better get rid of them before you before it falls out again uh you're right probably some of them probably should sell i think stuff should only go up more because everything's going digital. And so I would imagine anything that you can hold in your hands, it can only go up. Because everything's going to get to where eventually we don't have any papers or something, whatever it is. And so if you just hold on to anything, that's baseball cards, I would imagine, would be safe to – I hope so. There's going to be a market for it. Right.

Starting point is 01:42:11 Right. Well, I think also with time, I just think of fires, storms, floods, just anything that – it doesn't matter how much it's produced. You give it enough time, and eventually it's all going to disappear. It's all going to become rare. Anything that survives and is rare. I agree. I was trying to look at that. I thought, does that beep?

Starting point is 01:42:36 Does that thing flash when we talk? Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. I just noticed that. Sorry, everybody. And that's why. It was zeroed in on what we were saying, okay. I just noticed that. Sorry, everybody. And that's why I honestly – Nate was zeroed in on what we were saying, Justin.

Starting point is 01:42:47 If you guys are wondering what it sounds like when you're bombing in front of Nate, you can just go ahead and clip that one up real quick. It was like he was reading a book. That's not – Oh, yeah. You were a book. Hold on a second. What's that beeping thing?

Starting point is 01:42:58 What's that blinking light thing over there? Oh, it's when somebody's talking? Okay. All right. We were a book. Dude, you were a book. Just so you know, I cut you off just to see if that would blink when I talked. That's the only reason I stopped the conversation.

Starting point is 01:43:10 I was so not into it, and I go, all right, that's good enough right there. And I just said that to go, oh, I guess it does beep when I flash it. I didn't notice that. Now I know I'll be looking at that a lot. Yeah. Yeah. That's fun. Yeah. Every time I look at it, I'm going to think of a little bit that I was trying to at that a lot. Yeah. Yeah. That's fun. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:43:25 Every time I look at it, I'm going to think of a little bit that I was trying to do that didn't work. Remember that? Yeah, remember that? Remember that right there? No, that wasn't your fault. That was my fault. I wrote a book when I was a kid. Oh.

Starting point is 01:43:37 Yeah. When I was like four, I spoke a book out loud to my mom. She wrote down the entire thing. It's pretty long. It took a long time. I mean, it's probably 30, 40, 50 pages when I was a kid. My mom still has it in a binder. She wrote it all.

Starting point is 01:43:56 It makes no sense. It's the worst story of all time. But I was so into it. I remember being in the backyard saying it to her. Yeah. And I need to find it. Let's say the ending is the hardest part. Well, I would say.

Starting point is 01:44:09 Well, I was struggling with characters and everything. I just hope you go on to greatness because then it'll be cool that you did that. And if you don't, it's going to be like, well, that kid was a psycho. Like that's something in a book like that. It can only go two ways like you go into greatness it's gonna be in a museum you're like he came up with that that young yeah but if you go on to nothing it's like this if you're in prison it'd be like he wrote a book to his mom how do you not see this coming like you really have to do something in your life to make

Starting point is 01:44:44 the dumb little stuff at the beginning to be like right yeah he's doing good it's a lot of pressure it's a lot of pressure i feel like there's every person has moments like that where it's like i'm either gonna be great or i'm gonna be a lunatic your mom is theodore roosevelt that apparently had a lot of time to write she'd write one book before breakfast every day two or three

Starting point is 01:45:07 in the evening yeah she got she did so many of them that she eventually this was like her four year old talked and she goes

Starting point is 01:45:14 let's go through this we should get you should get it so we can I need to find I think it was called like pickle nose eye beetle like it made no sense

Starting point is 01:45:21 I need to pickle nose eye beetle I think I'll text my mom after this and i'll see if she she can find it yeah pickle no i knows i beetle i'm not i'm not i don't completely hate that you know yeah you're like i'm actually i'm on board now i would probably you want to see you want to see if i can get through your book okay i'd be able to you might be able to tell you what if you're looking for your comedy llc i think that's it right there. Pickle Nose Eye Beetle LLC.

Starting point is 01:45:45 That's a lot. Yeah, well, everybody knows now. Production company. Yeah. Yeah, now everybody knows it. If you're looking for your password for your credit cards, I think you got it right there. Pickle Nose Eye Beetle, right, everybody?

Starting point is 01:45:59 That sounds like a play in football. Pickle Nose Eye Beetle, too. Yeah. Yeah, it does. That's all the book stuff I got. All right. That was fun.

Starting point is 01:46:08 That was fun. That was way better than reading a book. Yeah. I think you learn more. We could have, you know, we probably could have

Starting point is 01:46:14 read a book in that time. A shorter one. Theodore could have, for sure. Theodore could, Theodore's read a few already. Oh, he could have read that one girl.

Starting point is 01:46:21 She'd read a hundred books. I still don't think that's real. I mean, people have photogenic memories, so I think they can... She's like... If someone's super smart, it's like that, but you're going to be like, yeah. It's like you... I don't know.

Starting point is 01:46:33 Yeah. I don't know. I just think it's different. But I don't think it's just looking at it and then remembering it. It's like you're reading it in real time just that fast. But if she can... If she knows everything... If she could pass a test then

Starting point is 01:46:45 what who are you to say she's not reading it right you know it's like 100 100 comprehension but i mean i just want to they should also say well we let her is it her in the green oh is that her yeah uh tristan sent us this video i can't figure out where where to go to it but tristan didn't know i think this is about uh but yeah you looked at you look it up world's fastest reader i guess she does it on the i definitely well why you can't is it not in the middle when they print the book out how can you not see it there you go. Yeah. It's got to be right there. Here you go. She's going to. Tristan, do you have an idea where this is in this video? I mean, if it's true.

Starting point is 01:47:36 It's like an eight minute video. I don't know. No, you just keep going in that where you can see that. Yeah, keep going. Oh, I mean, keep going. From 400 all the way up to 5,000. Oh, all right. If it's real, that means she can probably read something faster than a printer. Way faster.

Starting point is 01:47:57 Good Morning Korea is set up wild. There's, I mean, she's in the middle of the couch surrounded by two people. They're talking to people eating breakfast. And there's another guy just in the seat. I mean, it's... It's chaos. Unmute it. But it's a ton. I mean, look up Good Morning Korea.

Starting point is 01:48:21 The most is happening. And they have... Yeah. I think she's the only guest is what it looks like. The most is happening, and they have, yeah. I think she's the only guest is what it looks like, and there's a guy they're not showing. And he's looking right in the camera. Yeah, I think they're speaking English, right? Yeah, they were speaking English.

Starting point is 01:48:35 They're speaking English, but it's even, yeah, you would be like, well, just do Korean. Like, you know, it was like, that was kind of hard. I mean, that's crazy. They're doing, but yeah, there's a lot happening. happening yeah it's hard to make sense of but yeah yeah that's the world's fastest reader from thailand look it up that's crazy it's smart or philippines sorry oh god read it right uh all right everybody again we love you. Check everybody out. Instagram, Justin Smith. Justin Smith Comedy. Justin Smith Comedy. AaronWeber.net.

Starting point is 01:49:09 Comedy.com. It's my MySpace page. AaronWeberComedy.com. It's my MySpace. Is it? Oh, yeah. It's legit your MySpace page. No, I mean, it's a website that I built from scratch, but it looks like a MySpace. MySpace.

Starting point is 01:49:19 Yeah, that's cool. I'll get people to go to it. And it should be a professional website. People are spending money to go buy tickets. But yeah, that's a cute, fun thing. Is AaronWeber.com taken? AaronWeber.com was taken. Yeah, I had to get Aaron Weber Comedy.

Starting point is 01:49:42 That's, yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah, it looks like that yeah i mean it's yeah i mean it's cool oh yeah you know it's cool uh i i love i get the idea yeah yeah you're at the age that you would do this so uh well you're 30 you know maybe just passed it are you yeah you're 30 now yeah i'm 30 now oh boy it's about time for a real website you think i mean it's you know I think they're going to. I mean, between the two of us, one of us is going to do it.

Starting point is 01:50:09 You can know. I think this is fine. Just keep those ticket prices reasonable. I've never clicked that and it says $40. You're like, get out. Come on, dude. What are you talking about? We went to a fake MySpace page.

Starting point is 01:50:26 Uh, all right. Go check it all out. Everybody. Uh, we love you as always. Thank you. See you next time.

Starting point is 01:50:44 Nateland is produced by Nateland productions and by me nate bargetzi and my wife lara on the all things comedy network recording and editing for the show is done by genovations media thanks for tuning in be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast. Hey, I'm Jillian. And I'm Patrick. And together we make the podcast True Crime Obsessed. If you love documentaries the way we love documentaries,

Starting point is 01:51:16 you might be interested in our show because we recap all the documentaries that you're watching. We've covered just about every true crime case you can imagine. We're talking the Hatchet- Wielding Hitchhiker, the Ted Bundy tapes. What else?

Starting point is 01:51:26 The Turpin 13. Yes. The amazing sisters who basically tell the story. The girl in the picture. Yes. All the documentaries you love to talk about

Starting point is 01:51:32 with your friends. We're your friends now. We're the friends you talk about that stuff with. Yeah. We're True Crime Obsessed Podcast. Stitch us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,

Starting point is 01:51:40 or wherever you listen.

The Nateland Podcast - #97 Books

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