The Nateland Podcast - #98 Missouri feat. Greg Warren

Episode Date: May 11, 2022

What's the state animal for Missouri? How did Missouri get its name? Why is it called the Show Me State? These are just a few of the questions we'll answer this week when we discuss the state with fellow comedian and Missouri native Greg Warren.    Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail] Upstart – Upstart.com/Nate Don’t wait and check your rate today at UPSTART.com/NATE. That’s UPSTART.com/NATE to check your rate today. Don’t forget to use our URL to let them know we sent you!  1Loan amounts will be determined based on your credit, income, and certain other information provided in your loan application.  Go to UPSTART.com/NATE.   Talkspace – Talkspace.com Consider this your permission slip to put your mental health first. Match with your dedicated therapist today at talkspace.com and use promo code nate during sign-up to get $100 off your first month. That’s $100 off at talkspace.com, promo code nate.   Masterclass – MasterClass.com/Nate ·         We highly recommend you check Masterclass out.  ·         Get unlimited access to EVERY MasterClass,  ·         And as a Nateland listener, you get 15% off an annual membership!  ·         Go to MASTERCLASS.com/NATE now.  ·         That’s MASTERCLASS.com/ NATE for 15% off MasterClass   Policy Genius – Policygenius.com/NATE Head to Policygenius.com/NATE to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save.

hello folks let's go folks welcome to the nateland uh podcast i'm here with uh aaron weber brian bates and we have a wonderful guest very funny comedian, known for a long time, Greg Warren. Hey, guys. We're excited. Yeah. He's excited. I'm excited, man. We found him out wandering around the neighborhood.

And I was like, Greg, do you want to do this podcast today? Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I guess you could. I could see you. I was hinting around. Are you, you're not against walking around the neighborhood. No. Yeah. You don't mind

like you just kind of wander yeah i've done um you know on the road i i was doing a lot of walking for a while there yeah yeah you get into some suburban neighborhood then you start wondering man i don't know if they i should be doing this like i feel like they're fine with you though i think so i think when they see you they go, I mean, they would just be like, yeah, I mean, that's our neighbor. Yeah, yeah. They assume you're there. You have a joke about going for your walk. Yeah, yeah.

What is it, when you turn 50? I think I started doing some walking. I did a lot of walking in my 40s, to be honest. Okay, I remember the joke at the time. It was something like, yeah, you know, well, yeah, my neighbor at the time was like are you going for going for your walk i'm like my walk yeah yeah yeah i didn't know it had gotten to that yeah go head on out there yeah yeah i'm gonna go watch my stories yeah yeah they're good they can just on their clock they're like yeah they go school's about out how do you know?

Well, once Greg passes our house, I know the bus is not too far behind. Yeah. That's awesome. Well, we're glad you're here. We're getting to from Missouri. So we're doing a little episode about Missouri, which is fun. So we read some of these. We read comments.

Yeah. So we're going to read those. First up, Forrest. Excellent episode. Love the AI talk. I almost said owl. comments uh from yeah so we're gonna read those uh first up forest excellent episode love the ai talk i almost said owl uh i imagine i am not the only one who signed up on the d-a-l-l-e waiting list to try out this art creating ai is it ironic that i had to finish a puzzle to prove that it wasn't robot to get on that list that isn't right yeah i'm glad i'm out here spreading the gospel of this ai dude it's terrifying it's fun so this is the art thing that you talked about yeah yeah and so they're signing up people are like in the waiting list to try yeah everybody's getting on board man

there's gonna be a lot of great images created pretty soon yeah it's gonna be awesome man you know images that are like you know no one did anything take the heart out of everything how'd you think of that i just accidentally a cat walked over my keyboard and now i gotta you don't think there's art in the programming of this there's art in the programming of the programming but it's like we're not watching the programming like it's yeah it's almost like to show the art of the programming, I guess, would be don't hang that picture up. Have a dedicated space that's a blank wall, and you tell them,

go do it, type whatever you want, and they'll show it. That would celebrate what the art should be. That, I think, would be very fun. Sure. But if you hang up a picture of the avocado chair, whatever that is, it's going to be. Exactly what it is. It's like, golly, man, who did that? Oh, a computer.

It's like, yeah, okay. It's not even art. It doesn't make mistakes. Yeah, okay. I mean, I get it's fun. It's a fun, but I think if you did it like that where if you go, just type something in. If you had a keyboard, maybe. Right.

In real art, you have a little keyboard laid out. You have the computers like behind the wall, and it's like a picture frame. That would be pretty awesome. That would be. And then you go, just type whatever you want to type in, and then it draws it. That would be. I might do that. We'll set that up.

All right, I'll sign up for it. I like that avocado chair picture. Yeah, it's something. It's something, all right. Center one speaks to me. It's exactly an avocado. Chandler Starks, listen to this week's episode on my way home from my last college class ever just to hear Aaron explain how AI can write whole papers instantly.

Guess I learned the biggest college hack a few minutes too late. That is true. Man, can you imagine that? But Cole would be in good shape. Yeah. Cole is our intern that looks stuff up, and he could just fake it. He's starting to go to college in the fall. He's smart, though, so he's like AI.

So he'll just have the athletes using him him as ai that's what i tell you if you're if you're one of these smart college student you should do it where you write your own papers because you're legit yeah but when an athlete just charge people to be like i'll do what do you want to do and then just and write all the papers ai. And then you make some cash. It's interesting ethical question because it's like it's not plagiarism. You're not stealing something from somebody. Because these words have never existed. I don't think it's in the spirit of the. Yeah.

That's not quite what they want for sure. But it's not like you're ripping it off from somebody. But it's not. You know you're not learning. So like if you went to college and was like i'm here for something else like if there was a game plan like you're like i if you someone's like i don't believe in these papers i think these teachers are making this stuff up something like that i would probably do like i ain't falling for your system you making me read shakespeare and stuff like there ain't no reason for me like if there

was like you could maybe talk your way into believing that but i think a smart kid instead of writing out an athlete's paper i think i would just you know you got to be make sure they start getting caught you know these guys will come down on you so i'd probably have you know some people around you have some uh fall guys some some fall guys some security so you. Have some... Fall guys. Some fall guys, some security. So you're saying you're going to designate your friends, you're setting them up to take the fall for... Oh, yeah, you got to. Yeah.

All right. Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't do that, man. But I don't think these athlete kids would even realize. Like, I mean, I'm not an athlete kid, but I'm not smart. So I would have nodded like, this is beautiful. Yeah, this is really well written.

And then if you don't say anything, and the teacher's like, I know this is, you're right, there's no way they can prove it. Yeah. Yeah. I was watching Bill Maher this weekend, and he was complaining about paying college kids debt because of all these ridiculous classes that are now out there, like friendship class. He didn't say that, but he said other things like that. And the whole

crowd applauded. You said the same thing two years ago on this podcast and everyone booed you. People got mad. You're just ahead of your time is the problem. I'm too far ahead. People don't even understand what's happening. We just have to catch up. By the time it's caught up, you've changed again. You're never where you need to be. It never works out.

I go, yeah, you're finally doing that dumb way. Your college shouldn't exist. I don't think they should all exist. There should be big buildings. There should be homeless in there. You get more out of that. I'm a hardy. I don't want to pay for your your debt now i don't even want you to be allowed to go uh it's better you know i should just be a guy that's two years behind yeah that'd be a way to

go then you're like yeah what if they did this like yeah they're well they've been doing that for a few years. Oh, okay. They should think about electric cars. Yeah, dude, that's like, it's here, to be honest. And you go, all right, well, I haven't seen one. Lena Peter. Today's episode was a lot of fun, as always. I'm interested to know your take on the following moral dilemma.

You're traveling down the road in a self-driving car at some point in the future and the truck in front of you loses something off the back. The only way for your self-driving car to avoid crashing and killing you is to swerve into a group of pedestrians on the sidewalk and kill them. Self-driving cars will have to be programmed to respond to this situation. So the question is, who should the car always default to saving? You or the stranger? You want a loyal car or not a loyal car? It's interesting in this thought experiment.

It's a group of pedestrians instead of just one person. I don't know why they had to up it like that. Well, it's the same, though same though but group you can picture more you know like group makes you groups to one you're like maybe too many people are gonna be like obviously get rid of that one but then group you're like all right five to one ratio to one you're like you can't run through five people why don't they say group of grandmothers and children too if they're gonna up it like this they're gonna really It could be that group covers it. I understand. I think one,

I think a person makes a joke about it. If you go one, then a person's like, well, just hit the other guy and they laugh. Then you don't even get into the thought experiment because it's funny. If you say group, then you're like, well, now I've got to think about it. This is what I love, thought experiments. The true AI could assess.

I'm going with the movies now. The worth. They should be able to look at all the groups of people and, well, that guy's a convicted felon. Yeah. Like the Terminator, just immediately look at what they're doing. They could do your worth of like, if you're gone, are you going to be, does it matter? Yeah. Like baits just getting hit every day.

Cars are just driving through his living room nothing even fell off there was a there was a wreck two highways over and the truck's first thought was i gotta find it just swerved seeking me out not again it looks for the least worth person in the area just the general area across this traffic truck pulls up to baits robot gets out and knocks on the door hello we are looking for baits just a little honk outside. And you're like, what? And the car's like, come here. Come here. Calling him over. And the car just with his trunk just flips a ball that bounces in front of the car.

I'll get it. I'll get it. And then it just, hey. It's deciding. Just any time there's any trouble, the car goes, well well who's the least worth of a person in the area and i go after them hard that is true i don't know how they're going to program that that's probably the the tricky part that's probably you know that is crazy because it's like what are you what are you going to do and then is it like whose fault is it it's like you could be like i'm just

sitting there i'm not you know i don't make the decision i think it's a it's a, you could be like, I'm just sitting there. I'm not, you know, I don't make the decision. I think it's a, they're going to calculate probability. I'd say the probability of those group, those pedestrians dying is pretty high. Probably higher than the chances of you dying from running into something in front of you. Make the car safer and then you won't have to wipe out a group of innocent people. Depends on what fell off that truck, too. Anvil or something. That's a good point, too.

Anvil. Yeah. Just the anvil. Bugs Bunny. Yeah. You don't see anvils that much anymore. No, but the cartoon, there's a lot of them. Yeah.

Probably a back and forth. Yeah. Is that how y'all got weighed? Yeah. Yeah. My dad did weigh me. I was in a wrestling tournament I was like 10 years old

and we were coming back from vacation on Florida and he stopped at some like truck stop and they weighed me on like a meat scale

or something because we had a tournament that day yeah you got a scale in here we got one for the pigs you might weigh my you might weigh my boy

it was like that yeah it was really like that my weigh my boy. It was like that. Yeah. It was really like that. My boy. My boy's got a wrestling tournament coming up. You might weigh him. All right. Jesse Mann.

Hello, folks. Two episodes in a row I've listened to. Two self-proclaimed Tennessee boys mispronounce Appalachian Mountains. It's Appalachian. Not Appalachian. Appalachian. Appalachian mountains. It's Appalachian, not Appalachian. Appalachian. Appalachian. Oh, and I say Appalachian. You just say it the same way.

Yeah. It's not Appalachian. It's Appalachian. Appalachian mountains. Come on, guys. Love the show. Keep up the great work. Yeah, I don't know if Appalachian.

Appalachian. I think I like that better. Appalachian? Appalachian. Doesn'tachian. I think I like that better. Appalachian? Appalachian. Doesn't sound right. Yeah. Yeah. I don't, you know.

Yeah, well, he knows. Jesse knows. Everybody knows. We know it's Jesse. Appalachian. I bet they say it like Appalachian Mountains. We're just going to keep saying it, Appalachian. It's going to come and go, Jesse.

I'll be honest with you. I'm way off. I thought it was the Smoky Mountains in Tennessee. It was called the Smokies. Yeah. It's the Grizzly River Rampage. That's an old ride on the Opryland. Casey Nelson.

I love how they kept questioning if Arnold was in the third Terminator when they were looking right at his face on the cover, bigger than it was on the first and second cover. That is very funny. We're like, I wonder if Arnold's in Terminator 3 right there. It looks like that's the only one that looks like it's only about him. Yeah. I mean, every other one. I don't know.

I'll watch it. I'll let you guys know if he's in it or not. We watched something. What was it with Justin Smith? God. It's a movie. Steven Seagal dies immediately in the movie. I don't know.

It's like an airplane on the front of it. Something decision. I think it's something decision. Executive decision? Executive decision. Executive decision? Maybe that's it. I just guessed that.

Executive decision. Kurt Russell too? Yes. Yes. But in that movie, it was a fun movie. Steven Seagal's in it. And so you're watching it and like, it's like supposed to be this, you know, you're like, all right, well, Steven Seagal's in it.

In the beginning of it, I mean, I guess I'm ruining it, but I mean, I'm the only one that hasn't seen any movie ever. This is from 1996. But he dies like that like immediately right away and you're almost

and the whole time you're kind of like and so I didn't know any of this and like you know Justin's not telling me this and so I'm going

like I'm waiting for him like well he's probably coming back right like he's gonna be back a lot there'll be flashbacks he's the biggest star in the world

at this how do you like and so people went crazy about it because they were like, how are you going to kill off a guy that, the guy that would sell the movie?

Yeah. And I think he was on the, he was on posters and stuff and, and then they just, yeah, it's pretty interesting. All right.

Casey Nelson. Oh, that's one. Jake Wodke. I bet it is. Jake Wodke. I bet that's right. Wodke. Love the CVS updates and want to let Brian know Hazel is not alone. I'm a pharmacist, and one of the funniest prescriptions I've ever filled

was Prozac for a dog named Twinkie with the directions, take one tablet as needed for thunder. Dogs take human meds all the time. Their different phobias requiring medication is always a good laugh. There you go. Yeah, I appreciate everybody being – there's a few people who messaged me who said they had something similar. I appreciate that.

Well, that's nice. Doesn't that go against some sort of confidentiality thing? That's true for Twinkie. Yeah, for Twinkie. I don't think you're supposed to – That is a great point, Greg. Don't they have something with Hoth or something? HIPAA laws? HIPAA is what I'm trying to say.

I don't think it's in my business that Twinkie's good. Neither do I, man. I think Twinkie's at home watching this going, well, I don't... Son of a gun. I don't appreciate that at all. I'll tell you what, I'm not scared of thunder at all. Bring it on. Yeah, I thought that was between

me and you, the thunder thing. Hey, I have an update. Call him Jake. Hey, Jake, I'll talk to of thunder at all. Bring it on. Yeah. I thought that was between me and you. Yeah. Thunder thing. Hey, Jake. Hey, Jake. I'll talk to you in a second. Am I crazy?

Are you sweating out to the world that I have a fear? Am I crazy? Is that what I heard? I come in there. I don't come in with my owner. I come in alone. I don't cause a big scene. I wait.

I do everything right. And then you just blat around. I have an update on now Eleanor. That's my daughter, not my dog. She and I take the same reflex medicine. Oh, she needs it? Like Prilose probably type stuff or well it's it's uh not called that uh but rolades i went to my uh new cvs yeah and was it nice and fans could you how long did it take you to find

the pharmacy it's it's in a target so they don't do everything you were probably did you walk around i mean you're whoa it took a while it's like he just comes in and they go sir you're not even through the gates yet he's like he's just in the front area with about there's a check out line yeah but there's like a bank and like a eyeglasses person eyeglasses haircut. Eyeglasses, haircut. He's just over there like, wait, I didn't know they built a new mall over here. It was fun because Ruth stayed in the car with the baby

and I went in and then they had baseball cards over on the side. So me and all the 12-year-old boys were elbowing each other over there. I'm sure that got mentioned by security.

That's low-profile shelving there at CVS, right? Low-profile shelving there at CVS, right? Low-profile shelving? You know, if you go to Walgreens, you can't see over, whereas you can see the whole store at CVS. Oh, that's true. Which, if you're like me and you live where you grew up. Oh, like you walk in, you can see. You can see the back of the store.

Interesting. That is true. Why is that? Yeah, I don't know. It was a choice. I was in the sort of retail business. That is true. Why is that? Yeah, I don't know. It was a choice. I was in the sort of retail business for a while before I did comedy. But yeah, they are the only ones that do that in the pharmacy chains.

Like Walgreens, you can't see aisle to aisle. Yeah. But if you live in the town where you grew up and maybe you run into like, you see somebody from high school you don't really want to really hang out with or whatever, which most of the time I enjoy seeing people, but if there's somebody, at Walgreens you sort of duck behind the aisle, but if you're at CVS it's like, Wardog!

There's a guy in the back. I like that's where all your high school buddies are now hanging out at the CVS pharmacy. Look who's back you go in there

buying like a back pillow compression socks or something what do you need you know you're looking at some readers

they got a good pair over here war dog I never thought about the owls though that is true I appreciate it you walk in it's all like hey yeah you can see I never thought about the aisles, though. That is true.

I picture it. You walk in, it's all like, hey. You can see the pharmacy in the back right away at a CVS. Interesting. Yeah. Wow. You still get photos developed, Brian, I feel like, at a CVS? No, but we just bought a photo machine for where if you take pictures with your phone,

then you look it up and print it out for my mom oh yeah yeah that's cool i thought you were calling a camera a photo so you got one on your phone too but i don't know if i showed you that i have to duck behind a curtain i like those frames that are like where you can you could send it and it just keeps showing pictures

like I think that's good we got one of those from my mom where we can all send pictures to it remotely all the kids and it just sits

yeah you just text it to them you just text it to a number oh that's good but my mom wants something like she doesn't have

a smartphone and at church when she wants to show off the baby, Gail has a smartphone. So they all have to go to Gail's phone to look at it because she's the only one. Oh, yeah. But now we've printed off some photos and she carries them on her. And she looks like a sleight of hand magician. Yeah.

You mentioned the baby. It's just there somehow. And she has them showing off. So it's good for her. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, I don't think she ever thought this was good. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, I don't think she ever thought this was good. Yeah, I mean, yeah.

I mean, I think that's what I do. I go, baby, I go, God, have you seen this? And I'm like, no one ever thought this was happening.

Colin Anderson. I think it needs to be clarified. Dustin said it but quietly Pescatarian sounds a lot more like Presbyterian than Episcopalian Big fans of the show gives me a great chuckle each week

On my commute Thanks for all you guys do And think and think you do Thanks for all you guys do And think and think you do I don't know I think that was a shot. Yeah.

It might be. Taking a shot. Yeah. Episcopalian. I get what you're saying. I say, thank you for all you guys do and think and think you do, like we do think. Interesting way to say that.

I don't have to disagree on the whole point of the message there. Oh. I think pescatarian sounds a lot more like Episcopalian. I don't know the message there oh i think pescatarian sounds a lot more like episcopalian i don't know presbyterian there's a few people that commented though it sounded more like presbyterian i can see because it starts with a p it starts you off down that road and so it's hard to get back off you know what i mean a pescatarian is like no one's going to even think of those together. You would think P to P. Or maybe you say A pescatarian.

Then that has the same rhythm as Episcopalian. I'm a pescatarian. I'm Episcopalian. Yeah. It's got the same rhythm. Yeah, that does. Look, I mean, we think outside the box, too. Yeah, and think we do.

All these cows going around thinking they're fishing. Are one of you guys pescatarian? No. No one even really knows. I already forgot what all that means. Fish. Yeah, just fish. Just means fish. No, I thought it was.

We're talking about Catholics just eating fish on Fridays during Lent. Oh, yeah. Pescatarian. It means you're talking about Catholics just eating fish on Fridays during Lent. Oh, yeah. And pescatarian. It means you're a fish. Come from fish. Something like that. Yeah. This is not a...

I think that's what Presbyterian is. It's not a smart podcast, Greg. That's good. That's good. Yeah. I mean, how blown away we were by the CVS thing is... Go, what? That's the only really useful piece of knowledge i have it's a pretty good one

now on the this is laura this is she puts it all on paper i mean it's a good thing but i just it does it every everything i look at i'm like well where's the oh it's gone i gotta – I'm stuck on that. And I go to this side, and I got to go there to finish it. I mean, Laura tries to print. It's all blurred over each other, and I'm trying to read. And she's like, well, we only used one sheet of paper for a book. This is the book's comments.

Jeff J. Snyder. We'll never know whether Bumblebee would have called out Justin and Nate, who both said photogenic memory instead of photographic memory. But we do know it didn't phase elite education Weber one single bit. Yeah. You didn't care. I think I could spin that. Yeah.

Photogenic memory. It's just like your memory looks so good that you can see it so well. It's like in your mind. It would almost be like you're like, I only remember good-looking people. Yeah, or you remember yourself as looking better than you actually did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so that's how you would, you know, I got a photogenic memory, and someone ugly shows up, and you're like, hey, what's your name again? And you're like, no, we've met. You go, I don't have a photogenic memory, and someone ugly shows up, and you're like, hey, what's your name again?

And you're like, no, we've met. You go, I don't have a photogenic memory. Yeah. Only remember good-looking photogenic people. Oh, come on, man. And then a good-looking dad shows up, and you're, Steve! More dog. More dog.

Now he goes, I never met that guy. I just remember him. The one where you remember yourself looking better than you actually did. If there's a word for that, I know some comics that remember sets going a lot better than that. Murdered. Dude, murdered. Dude, murdered. You're like, what room were you in? I feel that way

I think I have a great set and I record it and then I'll go home and listen to it I'm like that didn't sound as good as I remembered it

yeah you're literally the thing he's talking about so should we call it a bait I mean it's literally baits-a-genic baits-a-genic

yeah baits-a-genic there it goes how'd it go? Went great. Yes. I killed. It sounded like an arena in there.

Then I was like, well, let me go back and watch it where I put my camera in the thick of all the people and it sounded worse than I thought. It's not like you're like, well, where's the camera at? Was it outside or something? You're like, no, no, no, no. I had my biggest fan holding it and filming it. And it just was nothing.

I thought I remembered them standing. No one stood. I think I just seen a lot of walking in the bathroom. The baitogenic, though,

he's the guy that, I mean, you at some point admit that it didn't go very well. I know some guys that even if they heard it, they'd be like,

no, no, I'm murdered. I don't think it even if they heard it, Oh yeah. No, no, murdered. Yeah. I don't think it ever sounds as good as you think on video. It never, it never, you never, it is,

I'm making fun of it, but it's hard to, when you go back and listen to it, it's, it's just a different feeling. You're there. Then when you go back to hear it and you have like a camera in the back, it's like,

you know, but. It's not, I but you know it's no i do agree it's uh i don't listen to them i've never listened to set because really it's like yeah it's i tried and i just don't i'm getting maybe a little better about it now but i mean i'll have them every time you know you're somewhere and like they can record here and they're like, they can record here. And you're like, all right, yeah, record it. Let me. And I, that link will delete every time. Yeah. I don't want to watch it. I listen to almost all of them, but I don't want to watch it.

I could, I think I would be better watching. Really? I think so. It's hearing, it's, yeah. It's like almost like too much in your head when you just hear. If I'm watching, I know it's like, there's at least a disconnect. And then maybe I'm listening. It's like there's at least a disconnect and then maybe i'm listening it's like too much like all right this guy ron morey who was a comic when i was first starting out it was really funny and he told me this trick uh he said listen to

your set but do it while you're washing the dishes or uh something where you're not thinking oh and he said you know you know on the internet or something where you're not thinking. Oh, yeah. You know, on the internet or driving. I drove a lot back then. And he said, you'll start to get used to your voice a little bit more. Oh, that's good. And it was really helpful for me. Yeah. Because I just didn't sound natural back then.

Yeah, I think that's a good way to do it. I mean, people listen. I think that's a good way to do it. I mean, people listen. I have always had trouble with it just because I think it's the way I tell a joke. It's always a little different. And it's not like the joke changes, but it's like the way I get into it, the way I transition.

There's little things that make it seem different. And so sometimes there'll be a line here and there like i mean he'd always be like basically like well you didn't say this one way this time but it's like that way would just go away from me and then it's like and then i'd be there'd be a new way i'm saying it no i think that's part of it yeah what's really been good for you you always sound organic like it's like yeah there's all you get like you're doing so many shows you just get you end up like being like you're trying to mess with it almost too much, which could be not a good thing, but.

Oh yeah, man. I've, I've, yeah. I represent that. Yeah, yeah. You're just getting up going, let's try to shake this whole thing up. I was thinking like, I switched my order up this past couple runs.

And cause I was like, let me try this. I tried one new way. It went really good one night i tried to get another night it did not and then i switched up some other stuff because i was trying to like fit things differently like you know i mean everybody does but i look i look it's all a puzzle and so you're all just like here's this chunk about my parents or my wife you know and or here's like the kind of miscellaneous chunk chunk and so i was like let me try to mix it all up. And I mix it all up.

And I mean, I lost so much time. Like I did it. I mean, I was probably hitting like usually around an hour. Yeah. And then I was getting to 63, 64 and stuff like that. And then I did it. And I was like one night I'm doing it. And I know like my wife chunk is roughly 20 minutes.

And I look and I have a clock up there. So I'm at 30 and I'm about to get into the wife stuff. And I'm like, well, this is not. I go, so I was like, I don't know if I'm with it. It's got to go great for me to get to 50. Yeah. And so then I had to add stuff. And like, I just told some stories that like, I'm not some new stories that I've, I necessarily

not going to put in this new hour, but I was like that I've already thought of. And so I was like, well, let me just – I added like a couple long stories, you know, that I was able to get to 60. But I was like, God, dude. And you're like, I swear I was getting to 64 minutes with 67. Horribly disappointing, isn't it? Yeah. The worst.

It's the worst thing ever. You go, where did this stuff go? And you're like, am I forgetting my act? Yeah. You get up there and you're like, you forgot about the 40-minute car bit. You're like, ah! That's all you're hoping? Yeah, it's never that easy.

That's right. That's all I had to do was that thing. That's all I had to do was that? Yeah, that's right. Remember your grocery store thing is like 35 minutes? And you call back and close on it, stay in ovation. That's what I'm, yes. That is, all right. It's a solid bit, and you call back and close on it, stay in ovation. That's what I'm – yes. That is – all right.

It's a solid bit. I love telling it. I just forgot it this time. I have that now because now you've got to try to do – I mean, people like – it's like I do like 60 – I've done 68, 64. I'm in that range, and I'm, I'm trying to get myself to get, eventually get to 75. I don't know if I will this before this next special comes out,

but like the next special is like, I want to be doing like 75 minutes. 75. Yeah. And then cut it to an hour. When I shoot. Yeah. Yeah.

But I'm saying like when you're doing live shows, right. It's like really just getting to 75. I mean the, it's, I know like some of the, the bigger places you go and stuff like that. It's like, I think you okay 75 i mean the it's i know like some of you the bigger places you go and stuff like that it's like i think you need to be up there a little more and then uh but it's a hard thing it's hard you know some guys can just they can go do 90 minutes yeah

and then i'm just like how i don't know how to do that no i, I mean. It's hard to do. I'm doing old material if I'm doing. Me too. Me too. Yeah. And so it's like, I don't know how to, it's like stretches, you know, because you want it to still be tight. That's the thing is I still want to be very tight. So I don't know.

It's hard to be super tight for 75 minutes, but maybe there's a, you know, but if you. Yeah. Especially some of the guys like, you know, the joke guys. I don't know how they get to it. I don't. Well, I don't think they can. I think that's an hour.

I mean, I don't know how much. A straight joke teller comic is, I don't think you could go that long. I don't either. And I'm not saying, an hour is usually good. It's, you know. But if you even got 70 minutes, like, even if it was like, you know, I think that's good. It's, you know, but if you even got 70 minutes, like, even if it was like, you know, I think that's good.

but I mean, I think it's just where, I think it'll be the next stage of where I'm, after this special, is I'm starting to think about that. Like, how can I get, 75 minutes?

70, 75 minutes. How can I get up to, you know, just, and it's just, you know, you become a little different of a comic

of just stuff's maybe a little bit longer, but it's like, I want to keep it as tight as I can keep it, you know just and it's just you know you become a little different of a comic of just stuff's maybe a little bit longer but it's like i want to keep it as tight as i can keep it you know that's the tightness is the thing that's because sometimes people can do that but they're not tight i heard a joke this weekend and you're like this joke should be two minutes and he makes it five and you're like well this should be two yeah and it's a very funny joke but it's like you gotta suck the life out of that thing man that would it would be an amazing two minute joke and it's like kind of you're over it on a five minute joke yeah because it's just like and you can tell that like that's probably your best joke and so you're trying to stretch it out doubling down on it because you put all the chips in on yeah yeah yeah yeah well you have such great checkoff points so in the joke is like he's got such big like pops that it's like there's

probably like three four like big laughs and so the time in between those laughs it's like you can because you know those laughs those laughs are solid right like they're not going to go away they're not they're not fake they're very real because it's a very funny thing that he's talking about and i don't want to say it because i don't uh but it's it's i could see it but it's like he knows it and then it's like trying to like play it out so much in the middle yeah to get the time up and you're like yeah man but that joke would either be you're going to walk out on a stand ovation it's going to be just a slow kind of build that's a very good joke but then it's like you got it yeah gotta ring that out god that just brought back awful memories and when you said you know those laughs are there yeah when i remember when i first was i got some feature gigs on the road before i should have been doing it and you know you go in and you're like all right

i don't have 30 minutes but then i don't have it but i do have these six giant bits that always kill yeah and i did some gig in baton rouge louisiana and i was through all six of them in like 10 minutes and they didn't do well if you didn't like that man you're really not going to lie. Yeah. Those were the hits. Yeah, those were for sure going to kill. Those were, those days, I remember. I remember I had all those days too, like where it's like you just think, that's the stuff that you got to go learn. That's why it's like experience is everything because you get put in that position to be like now, look, you can still now have crowds that like,

they don't laugh. You know, like you have a show and you're like well this one they were laughing so long and loud and so i had to pause a lot more and then you get in a another venue and you're like well they're a little bit tighter they're laughing they're laughing but it's not as long it's not as easy uh so it's like all your time shrinks up and uh it's funny but you got to learn how to do it because back because when you do it, you have nothing. And you're like, you just threw this material. You learn that you're like, whatever amount of time you have, you have half that.

Yeah, I don't know what I did. Because now, if that happens, you just throw in some old, I got enough material always to cover it. I don't know what I was doing. I mean, I have no idea. Because it was talking, you know you know probably terrible crowd you know yeah the crowd work from a place of weakness is never a good where you have to have it yeah it's great when they like you but when they don't

you know what that is very true i had it well a cruise. I might have told a story on a cruise ship. I, like, did it where, you know, you got to do. Did I ever talk about the cruise ship on this? Or I don't know. I think so. Those are real bad bombs of yours. Yeah, I bombed. And, like, so you have to do, you know, like, two clean sets, two dirty sets.

I don't even have dirty sets. But then one night I was like, I'm going to do a best of of all that. And then everybody's been to every show. So I'm like, they've heard everything. And I mean, I'm at five years in. You're like, I don't even, I'm barely being able to do an hour. Barely. Yeah.

And so in there he started me and says, I have to do crowd work. And it was from a week's. I never thought of it. Why it went so bad because it was from a week place yeah from a place of weakness it doesn't no matter what they said i was like oh that's cool like a guy i'm like what do you do the guy goes i work on oil rigs and i'm like you i should be able to talk about that for 40 minutes yeah and i'm like that's wow man that's cool and then i'm like what about you and i just keep i just on. It's just a survey. Yeah, I'm just asking. That's great.

The older comic, typically you say something after when they tell you the job. Typically you comment on, oh, I thought you just asked. It was coming from a place a week. That's so. You may have heard of me, but I did a comedy catch in Chattanooga, and the guy up front was wearing an Auburn shirt. Yeah. You an Auburn fan?

He's like, yeah. And I was like, all right, cool. That's awesome. I've done that. Man, I've been that guy. What a moment. You don't know what this guy's going to say, man. This guy's a loose cannon, dude.

Let's talk about what you're wearing. What is that, Tommy Hilfiger? Yeah. This guy's a maniac. Don't sit up front. Don't sit in the splash zone. Bates will get you. He'll take you on a wild ride, brother.

He just thought about what you were wearing. Does he make fun of it? No, no. It's not his style, man. It's not his style. That's not what Bates does. He said he wished he could afford it. He makes the person feel bad.

He's like, God, I'd love to be able to buy an office shirt like that one day. All right, Daniel Dwiggins. When the guys were talking about fireworks, Nate said, July's in the middle, so you're always around it. And Aaron and Justin didn't say anything about it. I know the calendar episode was quite a while ago, but we might need a part two soon to remind everyone how time works. Do you understand why that doesn't make a lot of sense?

I don't. July is in the middle. Well, you were making the argument how these fireworks stores stay open. Yeah. If it's only July 4th, whatever. And Nate said, well, yeah, but July is kind of in the middle. But that didn't make any sense. So I think what Nate was saying is you got July in the middle.

You got New Year's at the end. So you're always leading up to a firework event. Yeah. That was what he was trying to say. Oh, okay. Well, he said a few people commented that you just said July's in the middle, as if to say once July 5th hits, it's not going to be another year, no matter when it falls on the calendar.

You're always kind of in the middle. Yeah. I'm in the middle of the calendar. If you think of stuff as the calendar year it's like you're it's always in the it's you're always you're so focused on you know after new year's eve it's fire even if you take that away yeah you go you know january and you're like well july 4th is the next big celebrity so you're always thinking about fireworks then after it happens you want to buy them because they're cheap and so you're like i'll save them for the next year or something okay and then it's

like then you get caught up with christmas and then once christmas is done then you're like god is it i gotta start buying fireworks and so it's always it feels like it's it's always in the middle yeah and that's why they stay open so it's just year round but the new year's eve thing makes it sound more better yeah uh i should stick with that feast for thought reading is any other skill. If you don't do it enough, you can't expect the same results as someone who practices it all the time. You were saying how it was hard to read and

which I totally agree, but they're just saying it's just like anything. You've got to practice it and get better at it. There should be a colon there instead of a comma for that first one. Just throwing that out there. Feast for thought. Writing is like any other skill. Yeah, as a reminder, get your colon checked, everybody.

It's that time of year. It's always in the middle. Right in the middle. Right in the middle. Corey Eames. In regards to the book episode, I thought you guys might be interested in the huh

I thought you it's probably Corey Iams oh Corey Iams that's the Eames pet food people right Iams

oh Iams oh this is old money yep in regards to the book episode I thought you guys might be interested in the Mariko

Aoki phenomenon which is the urge to defecate that is suddenly felt after entering bookstores people claim that when they walk into a bookstore the smell of books make them have to instantly go to the bathroom so i'll look this up this is a real thing they think the smell of the print the ink and the paper makes it's like axative, and people have to go to the bathroom more often. So exactly what this guy said. I feel like I brought a couple of extra tidbits to the conversation.

The smell of books make them have to go. So basically – Ask him what he's wearing. Yeah. Was that a full cat? Yeah. He got you, man. Okay. Boom, roasted. He got you, man.

Okay. Boom, roasted. Boom, roasted. Next. What I think is this is Pavlovian in the sense that a lot of people read on the toilet. Right? So you get around books, your brain's going to reverse engineer that and think, we need to be on the toilet.

You can't tell them all about the same thing. I feel like I've walked into a stall if I heard two men, y'all both talking about this and stalled next to each other. And I was like, I can't do this. They would have the opposite effect on you. Yeah, the opposite. I go. I can't go for weeks. Well, that makes a lot of sense.

You're like, hey, boys, why don't we get on out of here and have this conversation? Y'all both in here. This book's been flagged. Some people are so comfortable when they go to the, like they know like you can just there's no i was at a love's truck stop this weekend there's a guy in the stall just on speakerphone with like his insurance company running errands on the phone i go everyone can hear this yeah he's like my policy number is three four three in the bathroom the fact that they don't think of the consequences. Just the embarrassment.

People call you in the bathroom. I'll do whatever I can to make you not think. I will never talk if I'm in the bathroom. But I don't even want to be in my bathroom. Sometimes it can be echoey. So even if you're just in your house and you're like, I don't know, you could be brushing your teeth and I'm just walking through my bathroom.

I try to like, I'm a crazy person, but it's like I overthink, you know, because, yeah, I've heard that too. People get on the phone, you're like. You wouldn't be in a public stall on speakerphone. Do you lift your feet off the ground so they can't even see that you're in there? Then somebody will barge in. No. Well, if it's locked.

I can send those to put headphones in just because it's like I want to just not hear anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can almost do that when I walk into... I could do it

if I go pee in the bathroom. I should probably do that more. That'd probably help. Put headphones in? Yeah, just have something playing so it's like I'm just in my own world because otherwise

you just get... I stand there and then I get surrounded by two guys because they their whole instinct is to be next to a body and then so and then it fans out that way no matter where you're at you're like there's no one in here now there's there's four there's only four people here but they're all next to me and you're like what happened here brian walked up was that that a Vanderbilt hat?

Would you go to Vanderbilt looking over? He's still toeing, toeing, look over the stall thing. What is that? Is that Vanderbilt? Like Wilson on Home Improvement. You see the top? You see. What is that?

Is that a Vanderbilt shirt you got on? Am I a shirt? Yeah, yeah. Hmm. Would you rather have partitions on either side of you, but the two guys are beside you, or they're further away, but no

partitions? I'd probably have partitions. Thank you. The golf course I go to doesn't have partitions, and it's terrible.

And I don't know why that you're like, they can't be expensive. I almost should go, I'll look into it. The Nate Bargetti partitions. I would like, you know what?

I should buy them. And then I just have my name on them, Nate Land. Listen to Nate Land. Just have like a gas station, like a video that plays the podcast just on it. Oh, yeah, man. Because it is like you want to go, you're like, hey, just put Legends of Vanderbilt. You're like, just put partitions in the come on what are we doing change my life yeah you know and these old men going there they don't care

yeah they don't yeah yeah but they but it's uh it's gonna be young people leading this revolution yeah but you're like just just don't just do something just throw us a bone you know here it's like what are we horses old guys at athletic events is that's their time to shine they don't care as a kid i remember just hearing those guys in the bathroom yeah you don't buy beer you rent it there's like 50 of those like those uh you know that's a great yeah there's like 50 of those and i'm like hey man i'm nine yeah like uh he hit you you don't buy beer you're in it and i was under your dad laughs all these old men laughing like what is wrong with y'all you're peeing in a trough another one was uh i guess there were blue laws back when i was a kid, and you couldn't buy beer on Sunday, but they could sell you what they called 3-2 beer, which was 3.2% alcohol versus whatever.

It was like low alcohol beer. And I remember being in the bathroom, 3-2 beer, which means they're drinking way more of it to get drunk. So I'm like, yeah, I'm 11. Yeah, yeah. Child. Yeah. Stupid Sunday. way more of it you know to get drunk so i'm like yeah i'm 11 yeah yeah stupid sunday bailey scott i am mind blown that aaron's website is a fake myspace with explanation i didn't bring the fake myspace when i first started listening to the podcast i visited his site i was so confused on why all of all his, he had MySpace. Now that we are all in on the joke, that's hilarious and very creative.

You definitely fooled me. Yep, he's got a fake MySpace. I think it's going to do a lot for him. I wonder how many gigs you've lost because this isn't real. I can't find his website. That's your site, man? Probably a lot, yeah. That's great.

Wow, that's really cool, man. The people that get it, get it. And then other 98% of people. God website that's your site probably a lot yeah that's great wow that's really that's really cool man the people that get it get it and then other 98 that's funny because it looks just made but it is it is good i got a top eight yeah oh wow that's cool on there and what does that go to if you're gonna nate land i think this takes us to the website yeah yeah oh that's good i mean he did it all he's got the comments oh yeah fake ads man oh. Oh, that's good. I mean, he did it all. He's got the comments. Oh, yeah. Fake ads. Man. Oh, that's funny. Oh, yeah.

And you have a fake ad, Dairy Queen? Oh. Yeah, I got fake ads all throughout the site. It is a good website. Yeah, thanks. It is good. Might be time to get something real. I don't know.

I don't know. I make fun of it, but I could. You got all the contacting stuff there. I got all the info you need. For me, this was a way to list this stuff without feeling like I was being obnoxious. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.

No, I know. Will you be like a. No, I get that idea. Anytime I have to talk about myself, I have to cloak it with irony in some way. So I'm just like. Yeah, yeah. That's a weird thing. Yeah.

That's, you know what? That goes away. I'll tell you that. Yeah. I think it does. It goes, because it's like, you'd always do that. My bio, it might still be like that. Mine was like, you know, I wrote it with like this idea of like, did I perform for the troops?

I was like, who cares? You know? No, of course you did. Because for the troops it's like who cares you know no of course you did probably like because you feel that kind of thing and then later on though you just end up you're like you know people are there for they want to just know this information and so you learn to like and you almost get a little disconnected from it because you're i'm not you know my website is like you're just not building it on your own i need to have somebody else write my bio for me yes that's what you have to do.

You do one of those things like Nate did, and then you go do a corporate gig, and they read your bio word for word without the irony. Did I perform for the troops? Yes. But so did you. Why don't you have the AI thing write your bio for you? Oh, I should.

I'll do that later. I'll change it up. Yeah, let's see what that, because that. Yeah. I'll do that later. I'll change it up. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see what that, yeah, because that'd be fun to see with that next week. Come back next week with a new bio. And then, wait, are we gone next week? Well, we're going to do next week's after this one. Yeah.

So we will do it next week. We'll do it. And then, yeah, that'd be good. But this is good. This is a great, it is, I've made fun of it. I'm correcting myself. It's a great way to do what you're talking about doing now. Yeah.

Like, it's that kind of thing. I don't know about that picture, but it's, you need to change that picture. I know, I need new headshots, dude. That's an old picture? I need new headshots. But just putting a picture up of you on stage, no one's taking a picture of you, like the Grand Ole Opry or the- I've got a couple, yeah.

At the time, I thought this was a fun one. That is fun. But it's – I mean, you've lost a lot of weight. Yeah, I'm a lot bigger in that picture for sure. You're going to show up. I thought I was killing it back then though. I know, but now you're going to show up and they're like, I mean, this kid can't even – you're supposed to tip over a van.

You're like, I don't know. And they look at you now and you're like, I mean, what are you – I don't know if you can get a Prius over. They need a guy that's going to run up to a van like a football player. And they go, all right. All right. And like I always say, I found something interesting about this so as i said with the ads i know like we're doing obviously more than we did before and like i've said before

i just want to say again it's like i'm aware of how many we're doing i'm aware these are great things that we do and we do them with and it is helping this stuff does help build the Nate land world that, uh, I would like to build. So you're, you're very much a help for that. So when you go through these, if you use these, that's a big thing. I'm not trying to,

you know, I don't, I want to, I don't mean I have fives is, is a lot, but it's, or four or five, but it's,

but it's like, this is all going to this world. And it's building stuff. So just always remember that. I'm aware of them. I'm aware that people get annoyed with ads. I'm not trying to take anything from you. It's like we're doing this. And I always appreciate that.

And someone that did, so everything you do, I appreciate it. But then I saw something with Tristan about you when you edited the ads into the podcast is when your baby was born. Yeah. I got told that. Yes. Which is pretty crazy. So fun.

So your first and last thing when your baby was born, last before baby was us, and then you and your baby listened to the podcast. That's right. That's right. The next morning. The next morning. So Tristan's doing hard at work. Around a solo stove.

Yeah, around a solo stove. Company man. I mean, hard at work was, I mean, in the thick of it. Yeah. Baby was born. How quick was the baby born to finishing the podcast? Oh, man. I was publishing the podcast around 7.30.

Yeah. And he was born at 10.56. Wow. Whoa. I mean, just right there. That's awesome. Congratulations congratulations man nate called me the day before baby's uh 15 now nate called me the day before eleanor was born and i saw it i thought he's gonna give me some fatherly advice my my you know first time and he's like hey uh

vecchione's coming on tomorrow uh Look up some stuff on the diets. I don't think I knew she was being born that day. Oh. I don't know for sure. My buddy, real funny comic, Tommy Johnigan, he called me accidentally when Heather was about to give birth to their first child. And he called me. He's like, I go, hello.

He's like, hey, man, I didn't mean to call you. We're on our way to the hospital. Heather's water just broke and we're going in. I go, hey, man, I got a couple of bits I want to run by. It took him a second. He's like, no, greg i don't want it i was like i'll never get to do this joke ever again yeah it worked out perfect yeah yeah yeah i didn't want to do it and i was like i gotta do it yeah yeah that's great uh was that the day

before yeah but were you at the hospital were you at home i was at home oh but y'all were getting her she was in you knew the time yes exactly we had a scheduled time oh yeah yeah so you were just at home it's not like you were it was like in the middle i mean he was doing it and he was maybe about to be delivered you didn't call him uh i know but he's working. And so I called you to work. But I guess you wanted that day off to go do stuff. Yeah. I don't know if I should be calling to give you fatherly advice. You give fatherly advice, I think, later.

I've always said it's the greatest thing you could ever do. It's having a child. There's nothing like it. That's not really Oh, yeah. I've always said it's the greatest thing you could ever do is having a child. There's nothing like it. That's not really advice, though. But it's the joy. It's not advice. What advice can I give you? I don't know.

Diapers? This is how you do a diaper? It's the idea that always remember it's the greatest thing. It's unreal. And there's nothing like it. And there's...

Oh, just remember that. That's advice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just be conscious. I'm just saying it's the nothing like it. Oh, just remember that. That's advice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just be conscious. I just say it's the greatest thing ever. So that was advice. I don't know. I'll call you if you want.

I'll walk you through it. That's – I gave you a nice maternity leave. You were off for however long, and Greg doesn't have kids so making him feel bad i'm sorry greg i'm sorry no yeah well greg there's hope so yeah bates and i aren't too far apart really no we're not yeah yeah um before we get into it can i ask the glove update yeah steve verne got the glove he brought it to me i have it I have my childhood baseball glove back. Where is it? It's at my house right now.

I mean, how would you not bring it? Yeah, because I was in Denver this morning. I came straight here, so I didn't get a chance to grab it. Then why would we bring it up? I don't think Brian knew that I didn't have it. Well, so many people have asked. It is. Yeah, it's good to follow up. We were going to update on the next episode. Two weeks from now, didn't have it. Well, so many people have asked. It is. Yeah. It's good to follow up.

We were going to update in the next episode. Two weeks from now, I'll have it. Oh, God. I don't even care. I don't even. I'm not even impressed with this story. Oh, it's a great story. Now, a lot of people have commented that it was great until they realized you and your

entire family went to school in Indiana, very close to where this was. Yeah, but I didn't bring my baseball glove from when I was eight to college. Yeah. So that's not where it was from. Maybe your brother at Purdue or – He took an eight-year-old's baseball glove to college. It's definitely a crazy – yeah, it's a crazy story. I don't say you don't bring the glove.

I just don't. I didn't have a chance, dude. It's like a plant. Just if you think about a show That we're creating We're creating a show I came straight for the airport dude To go

You know It's like I got a tattoo With Nate laying on it Wow dude can we see it I'd rather not I'd rather not show you Oh okay

Alright But I'm glad I'm glad we said that Because I'm still getting A lot of messages People offering To go grab it for me. Okay.

And I need everyone to know it's been grabbed. Yes. It's back in my hands. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Kind of. Yeah.

Let me go grab it from Aaron's house if people are listening. I think that would be great if people could go actually, so maybe we could see it before a month later. Oh, that's right. Last day of the podcast. Oh, there's that glove. Remember that story? Steve Byrne went through all that trouble.

And you just, you know. I got this rock, too. I've been to show this. This is the Nate Land Podcast Rocks, Smooth Rock, young lady. I believe her name is Sabrina. I'm sorry if that is not your name I try to remember

I think it's Sabrina you'll always be Sabrina to me she gave us this she painted it and stuff very nice alright

this week don't touch it Craig and fair enough just between him and Sabrina I got it straightened up Greg

sorry about that man Sabrina I, sorry about that, man. Sabrina, I'm sorry about that. Playing a little fast and loose there. Hey, what's Greg's problem? I'll tell you. I don't know. I don't know. I mean, if I had a glove, I could kind of.

Yeah, that's true. You'd break it in. God, I wish you had a glove. Yeah, me too, man. I just got Lincoln's coat. Can we see it? I didn't think y'all would want to see it. I just got Lincoln's coat. Can we see it? Nah. I didn't think y'all would want to see it.

I didn't think you'd want to bring it. I didn't think about showmanship. I only do it every night. You only literally flew to do showmanship to come back and not do showmanship. Isn't this showmanship? The glove? Yeah, showmanship. yeah okay you're right yeah all right i don't know just ask them yeah maybe care about the podcast uh maybe i'll talk first

and go did you bring the glove and we'll bring it up all right my bad uh so this week we're talking about missouri uh g Greg is from Missouri. Yeah. Is it Missouri or Missouri? Missouri, if you're in sort of the middle of the state, you would say Missouri. Middle of the state, you'd say Missouri. Yeah, you'd say Missouri if you're from more of the rural area. But if you're in St. Louis or Kansas City, you'd say Missouri. And you were in St. Louis?

Yeah, yeah, I grew up in St. Louis. I was born in Springfield. Oh, yeah. Isn't that the Bass Pro Shop? Yeah, that's where the Bass Pro Shop is. Man, they have like a wildlife museum right by the Bass Pro Shop. It's been a long time since I went there. But when I went, it was like a Missouri wildlife museum. The animals were alive.

Yeah. They had a bunch of different. Now they're dead. It was that long ago. You're like. They were. They eventually died. They go, we'll just make it a museum.

You go, ah, it works. More taxidermy at this point. But yeah, it was all animals that you would find that are indigenous to Missouri. It was pretty cool. And then you get to the end and there was a shark. And I just feel like this guy that, you know, the guy that started the museum had this like really pure vision. Like it's Missouri, Missouri.

And then just people kept coming through. I want to see a shark. Where's the shark? I brought my family up here. I'm paying 20 bucks a ticket. I want to see a shark. He's like, well, actually, sir, it's only Missouri. No, no, no. I want to see a shark. He's like, well, actually, sir, it's only Missouri. No, no, no.

I want to see a shark. And then there's some moment where he's like, just put the shark. Well, you need a headliner. And I don't think y'all have a headliner animal. I think we got, come on, what is it? We got like black bears, I think. You're saying that's not a headlining animal? Those are dime a dozen.

Those are all over the place. There's so much that in the Appalachian mountains. Wow. I mean, you can't even walk near it. They're everywhere. You don't have a headliner animal. We got giant catfish in Lake of the Ozarks. Are you?

What are you talking about? If it's a catfish as big as a Volkswagen, that's not a headliner? If you get one as big as a Volkswagen. The rumor is down there at the bottom of the- They wouldn't know this is real. Yeah, yeah. Kathleen Madigan, she grew up down there by Lake of the Ozarks. And she's the one that told me the rumor is down there by the bottom of the dam,

there's catfish as big as Volkswagens. That's a headliner. That's like an arena act. If you have that, you don't need the shark. But the problem is y'all don't have. We didn't have it. You don't have a headliner. We didn't.

And the shark, you think the shark doesn't belong there? He knows this is a shark that he sells out the club instantly. He goes, I should be doing arenas now. And he got lost in the system. And now he's like, where am I? And they go, Springfield. He's like where am i and they go springfield he's like what like is that illinois fresh water yeah yeah he goes why am i having trouble breathing it's like it's like working an old club that they smoke still yeah you're like yeah they still smoke

here yeah yeah man we're describing my career pretty quickly yeah wait why am i still doing this i would know it's it's but it is funny that i think if y'all you could one of your animals could be a headline air but you need like a big like anaconda or something like we don't have that uh i know black bears kind of your thing what's that the black bear no it's not even our thing man i mean i think you know we got um well missouri mule is uh you know that that's a thing the missouri mule and uh there was some beer like a donkey yeah yeah yeah missouri mule is a thing is that your state animal man i don't i think it is it might be i would think it would be like i remember there was a beer headliners that might i mean you haven't seen these mules nate it's yeah i mean i mean i feel mean, I feel like that's who shows you around the museum.

We have donkeys walking around. You go, that's cool, man. The Missouri mule. Yeah. Look, I'll be honest with you. What state has a headliner as its state animal i mean florida's got gators that's is that that's a headliner that's a is that their state is that their texas has those longhorn uh cattle that's a head that's a headliner you know but california's got a grizzly bear that's a

headline grizzly bear that's a big grizzly grizzly bears alaska yes yeah any of the yeah um a gray well too i mean california whale is a headlining that's a big headline yeah california's doing Alaska, yeah. Any of the – A gray whale, too. I mean, California – A whale is a headlining animal. That's a big headlining animal. Yeah, California's doing well. Georgia's just a deer, just roadkill. Yeah.

I mean, that's not even – yeah, that's an open mic. Bison from Kansas is up there. It needs to be big. It needs to be big. I think they're all pretty big. I know, but it needs to – there should be a story with it. There better be – I'm telling you, Kansas has got a big enough bison.

I'll tell you what, a moose is absolutely – Moose is it. A moose might be number one over all of them just because you would – you don't really get to see them up close. And then if you saw one up close, you'd be like, this is crazy how big that thing is. You're marveled by how big it is. I heard you don't want to see them up close.

I heard moose are way meaner than bears. You don't want to be around a moose. Yeah, you don't want to be moose Montana. Yeah, there you go. Look at that, man. The Missouri. You're saying that's not a headliner? Y'all decided. It looks like, oh. That's Missouri. You're saying that's not a headliner?

Y'all decided. Y'all decided. It looks like, oh, that's a picture from 95. I was like, y'all decided 95. You go, I'm about to graduate high school. You're like, we'll do the mule. That's how long it took. I remember there was a beer my dad drank called Old Missouri,

and it had a picture of that mule on there. I was saying, for your animal, yours would always be there. It can walk a long way. Missouri's always represented in the fact that these other animals die off. You're like, well, who's even left? You're like, dumb mule still here. He won't go away. Right, the dumb mule that's carrying

all your stuff. I was going to say, it's the only state animal so far carrying luggage. I'll say that. It's the only one with a backpack. It looks like a nativity scene. It's not sexy. It's not glamorous, but I mean,

utilitarian wise. Yeah. It's an old man's animal. Like that he goes, it's like cargo pants. He just loves that. It's like, yeah,

you carry your stuff you put your phone in there I got my calendar's right on that side like yeah Ernie they don't look that good though they don't look good

he goes well what do you need you need some water you need some water well let me go get my giant water bottle ask your grizzly bear to carry the water bottle

and see where his attitude takes you New York beaver. Yeah. I mean, I need to see it work. North Carolina's got a squirrel, man. North Carolina's squirrel is pretty weak. That's weak.

That is pretty weak. That's weak. Don't waste your time. Oregon claims the beaver, too. A lot of overlap. Not that many animals, I guess. Tennessee's a raccoon. So, raccoon's a. Tennessee's a raccoon.

Raccoon's a little fun, a little sneaky. I don't want to defend it the same way you want. You know what? It's a robot. It gets in your trash. It's got character. It's got character. You don't know what's going to happen around it.

One could be cool. One could be playing you. Raccoons are cool looking. are yeah they're the hands are really yeah yeah i don't think we get a lot of sleep here we got black eyes under you know uh so that 1995 for the meal that must have been the year because that photo says 1971 and that yeah wasn't taken in 1971 man we had other stuff going on yeah we just didn't we didn't have time. Yeah. At the end, he goes, it's like in a big meeting.

They're going, we got to get Missouri. They go, we need a state animal. I don't. Do the mule for all I care. Next thing. Missouri actually stopped. And that's how the mule got. Florida Panther.

That's a great one. Yeah. That's a good one. They got the dolphin, too. Manatee, too, man. Yeah, yeah. If you're around water, you got some fun stuff. Hawaiian monk seal. Missouri is landlocked.

So he's got a mule. We got a raccoon, though. Raccoon's not. Oh, you do. You got a lake, I guess. If I get one of those catfish as big as a... And then we're headlining, right? I think your animal should be a catfish.

Yeah. That would have been... You stand out. So the origin of the giant catfish. Yeah. That would have been, you stand out. So the origin of the giant catfish myth, according to Snopes.com, is there's some divers in the lakes. They had to rescue, you know, it was an EMS crew. And they reported catfish so large that one of the divers was sucked into the giant bottom feeder's mouth only to be spat out.

So that's sort of the origin of some of these urban legends of giant catfish lurking at the bottom of the lake. And that was in 98. That was in 98 that was reported. Yeah. Is noodling a big thing there? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Is that your state activity? I don't know if we have one, but it might be. Again, it's- New category. Is that your subject in school? What do you got? I got math, reading, noodling. It's sort of a dichotomy.

You have St. Louis and Kansas City, and then you have the rest of the state. It's probably a little bit more noodling. You have the two biggest rivers in the US. Missouri and the, yeah, I should have worn my St. Louis shirt. It's got like – our city has a flag, and it's got the two rivers coming together. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, it's pretty neat. Yeah.

With the French fleur-de-lis. It was founded by the French. Yeah. So Missouri is an Indian word. Do you know what it means? No. He of the big canoe. It's probably something to do with the fur traders or the fur trappers at the time.

I thought it had to do with the canoes. Well, I think the guys in the canoes were out there. I think you can buy a nice canoe at a big Bass Pro Shop. Yeah. There's a St. Louis flag. Oh, there's a flag. That's very cool. That's a good flag.

It looks like New Orleans just because of that. Because of the fleur-de-lis. But that's an awesome flag. That looks like the top of a gate. Yeah. Top of a gate? Does that make anybody else think of that? That pattern makes me think of like a-

A pole. The top of the pole along the gate. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I see what you're saying. Yeah. I'm like a chain link. No, no. yeah. For sure. Yeah. I see what you're saying. Yeah. I'm like a chain link. No, no.

Like a fancy house. Like cast iron. Oh, yeah. Like rich people. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't come over this. Yeah.

Don't come over here. I do like the flag. Thanks, man. You know, that's cool, man. We'll give you that. You guys like... No, yeah. That's fun, dude.

I mean, I'm a fan of Missouri. Missouri flag's pretty weak. Those are bears on there. I don't know. You got some bears. What are the bears doing? You have a lot of brown bears. You definitely think it'd be like a different country.

It's got a very feel to that. Yeah, it does. Is that like French's flag? That's their color. It's French's. That's French's? They have the same flag, right? Same colors, yeah.

So y'all are a little more French than New Orleans. You're more French than people realize. Yeah, we are. I mean, it was Augustus Choteau, and I can't remember the other guy. It was his father-in-law that founded St. Louis, and I think that was before anywhere else in Missouri. Did y'all talk about that a lot at school? How did you remember that?

You just remember that? I did read it. I got this idea during COVID that I was going to maybe do a one-man show about Missouri or something, so I read one book. Yeah, yeah. Then I got on to another idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I did learn a little bit.

A brief history of. Yeah, Lac another idea. Yeah. But I did learn a little. A brief history of. Yeah. Yeah. Laclede. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know why Missouri is called the show me state? I think it's because they, you know, it's, I think we're kind of annoying to people where,

you know, they would say, you know, this is the way things are. And the people in Missouri would be like, well, show me. I don't believe you unless you show me. I think that's true. That's true. Yeah, there was a congressman. I'm way on board with Missouri. The main theory is there's a congressman that said, I'm from Missouri.

You've got to show me. You can't just say it. And then there's another theory that some miners went to Colorado from Missouri, and they didn't know what to do. So they called them to show me. Because you had to show them every little thing to do. So they're saying we're stupid. Yeah, the second one. It goes two different ways.

And I think I'm on board with both ways. I think I fit very well in Missouri. It's the worst mix. It's a person that is obstinate and stupid. I honestly think it might describe me. Like, I need stuff to be shown to me. You're the show me comic. I'm the show me comic.

Show me how to do it and then after you show me, I go, how do I know you know how to do it? Yeah. Yeah. Somebody takes the time

to help you out and then in the end, you question their ego. I don't know. Are you any good at this? I remember the war series, the Cardinals, the Royals, the Show Me Series.

Yeah, that was – 1985. Heartbreaking. That Game 6 that – Yeah, it was – Don Dinkinger. Yeah, it was a bad call. It was one of the worst calls in history.

Do you know this? Part of the worst call – I don't know. When was it? Pull up the 1985 World Series. 1985. Yeah. Game 6. The Royals and the Cardinals. Game the 85-year-old series. 1985. Yeah. Game six.

The Royals and the Cardinals. Game six. Cardinals were big favorites, right? Yeah, and we were winning that game. Yeah. And I think it would have been the third out. Yeah. The final out of the game.

And one of their guys ran to first base. And the umpire, Don Denkinger, called the guy safe, and he was definitely out. And the guy was getting death threats for about 20 years. Don Denkinger? Yeah. People take baseball pretty seriously. Well, now the umps are a lot better. And then –

Oh, wow. Oh, you couldn't review it? Yeah, you couldn't review it. Yeah, yeah. And so when they review it, it's like super obvious. They show a couple more there, like, oh, better English. Here's the thing. Here's the thing I need to admit.

Because it's like that Bartman thing with the Cubs. Like, Bartman, remember the guy that... Oh, yeah. We talked about it. Yeah, okay. But after that, they had plenty of chances to win. That was game six. The next game, we could have fixed it all in one, but we got blown out.

We got killed in the next game. Well, it does like you lose the – We're looking at it in slow motion. But I understand – Oh, that's by a long shot. Yeah. Pretty clearly out. Yeah.

But I understand this being more frustrating because it's an out versus Bartman's like it's a foul ball. Yeah. But I understand this being more frustrating because it's an out versus Bartman's like, it's a foul ball. Yeah. And like, you act like you don't even know if you, you weren't even probably going to catch it. Like, so it's like for them to come unraveled this, I guess you could be, I could see becoming unraveled. And so that's it.

But they screwed up. They screwed up in this inning a couple of times after that, like the Bartman thing. But I remember what happened. Have y'all won? Y'all won a world series. Oh, yeah. One in 82. screwed up in this inning a couple times after that like the bartman thing um but i i remember what happened have y'all won y'all won a world series oh yeah one in 82 and pools and then they won an 06 with pools and an 11 with pools yeah um but uh i remember that game i was at my girlfriend lisa canancy's house i was a senior in in high school and and her dad was a big Cardinal fan. And her mom's sister, so her aunt lived in Kansas City,

and she called to kind of give him a little – she wasn't a real baseball fan. She was just a nice lady. She called to give him a little bit of ribbing, like gentle fun. He was like swearing at her over the phone and she was crying. And it was that thing where like she's like, oh, she got upset. I don't know, was this serious? Yeah, I'm on his side on that. Well, I'm probably on his side too.

And the fact that I remember someone, Vayner, Vayner lost him to his shoe and that happened to me. And someone like called me and made fun of me. I was like, and you're like you don't even care that yeah like yeah and so it's like and i was and you're like i'm so upset that it's i would get mad like you're just it's just being mean yeah yeah and so but that's it is there's also a point where i wouldn't do that now no now oh there's all kinds of things i wouldn't do that now. No, now, Oh, there's all kinds of things I wouldn't do now. Yeah. Yeah.

But I mean, I mean, I mean, even just age wise, you just go, I can't be this emotional about. Right. Athletics.

Like I get frustrated. I can get whatever I can have. Like, I don't know why they're doing this, you know, tight and straight AJ Brown. You're like, why are they doing that?

I don't know why they blah, blah, whatever. And then I also have to go have a life. I don't like, I can't, especially when blah, blah, whatever. And then I also have to go have a life. I don't, like I can't. Especially when there's no payoff ever. Yeah. You're like, I want to win.

It would be a lot to me to win, but it's like I can't be wrapped up. Yeah. Yeah. I have those moments, though, where I'm not proud. Everybody does. I get it. What's a recent one, Greg? Well.

You punched a fan. No. Everybody does. I get it. What's a recent one, Greg? Well... You punched a fan. No, I mean, I remember when I was living in New York, my mom and dad came to the city to visit for like three or four days. And Cardinals happened to be in the NLCS that week. And we went, there's a bar down somewhere around 33rd that was a Cardinal bar, which that's the coolest thing about New York is you have these places where it it's like oh man it's like i'm back in st louis it was one of the funnest things ever about new york so i took them there and they loved it and uh we were watching the game and uh they lost to the giants in a terrible game and uh you know i me and my dad

got in a argument about it and it was was my mom, you know, was there. And I was just like, why do we waste this time being mad about baseball when I had my parents. My mom, you know, passed away a few years later. So I'm like, why did I sit there arguing about baseball and mad about baseball when I had my mom in the city with me? You know, I was like so upset that day about the cardinals is stupid and but that's yeah but then i feel like your mom just you're like it's hard not to it's almost like

you gave her a piece of home yeah no she loved it she loved i mean when she talked about she's like that bar that had all the i mean they loved it but i just think about how silly it was and then i i'm a big college wrestling fan and i'm a a Missouri fan. And, you know, I've had my dad and I, that's one of the things that we share. My dad was a high school wrestling coach. So we go, you know, we went to the Big 12 tournament this year. We go to a lot of stuff. And, I mean, we always wind up arguing about stuff. And, I mean, I'm so passionate about the arguments.

And then on the way, you know, after I drop him off, I'm like, well, what am I doing? This is my dad. But I think y'all, that almost weirdly might be a bonding thing. It probably is. Yeah. It's a nice,

like, you know, you're, you're, it's, it's not bad. Like sometimes arguing, you know,

with your, your sports stuff, it's an outlet. Yeah. And so it's like, I get it. Like, and you and your dad,

like have this, I mean, there's not many you can probably argue with about wrestling. Yeah. Like, you're not walking in a sports bar. Nah, there's not a lot of bars in the league. You kidding me, dude? God, his ear things are not even the right color.

And you're like, yeah. Hey, guys, hey, grab him on the back of his neck. You can't grab him on the back of his neck. His shoulders run down. You're like, no one's. Everybody's like, all right, dude. That is true. So you were a big-time wrestler.

I think, I don't know if people don't know this. All-American? Greg Warren was an all-American wrestler at Missouri. And this is the match that you guys are showing. That guy's name was Tim Krieger. He was a two-time national champ. I think he got second

twice, maybe second. He lost twice in his college career. There were some days when I lost three, I think. This guy killed me. This guy was... Why are you showing this one? It's the only thing on the internet. Yeah, it's probably the only match that.

No, it was the first reason. Okay. There's plenty of you winning. Yeah, this guy murdered me. There's a story. I wrestle this guy not in this match. I wrestled him earlier in the year that year. That's at the Big Eight Championships.

Yeah. And I was a freshman, and my coach was one of these, Wes Roper, and he was one of those guys like, you know, he's like, Warren, I don't care who this guy is or what he's done. You go out there, you take it to him. You don't show him any respect, you know. And I got on top of him in, I think it was the second period or something, and I had this move called the Leg Sezeski, and it was pretty tough.

Is it named after that guy? Some guy named sezeski, yeah. Yeah, this guy named Tim sezeski. Yeah. And I was pretty good at it, and I got it. And I think he had a bad leg. I wasn't doing it because he had a bad leg, but I was wrenching him pretty good. Yeah. I was still getting beat, but I was wrenching him pretty good.

And he was like, ah! And they had to stop the match. And he went over to his corner to get taped up. And I went over to my corner thinking, yeah, Roper's going to be proud of me. Like a karate kid. Yeah, he's like, Warren, I'm not sure I would have made him mad like that. He's like, because he was like basically, he was hurt. He was going to cruise through the match and beat me about eight to five,

eight to two or something and just sort of take it easy. And he was, man, as soon as we got back out there, it was like he ripped my head off, man. It was a mission at that point, man. Yeah. And so that's so great. And so when you're wrestling, is it the point of you trying to pin them right?

Like in this college wrestling? It's pretty rare that people get pinned in Division I college wrestling. It happens a little bit. Is that the – it's over? It's over. Three seconds? No, it's – man, when I was wrestling, I think it's a two count, but now it's like a one count.

Like if your shoulder blades are on the mat for a one count, it's over. So it does happen every now and then. So that thing that he's doing to me was the thing that I was doing to him. It's called a leg sezeski, and yeah, he's just ripping me. And so how does it stop? Like what do you do? Do you tap out or something? No, no.

It's three periods, like a three-minute period, a two-minute period, a two-minute period. It's their scoring do you know no it's three periods like a three minute period a two minute period a two two period it's their scoring you know so you're you're not trying to like could you say i'm out or quit or something no no no i mean i guess you could well i mean there's there's what you could just roll over and get pinned yeah you know oh get up and run away too theoretically but like i really wouldn't have gone over well yeah i don't know you lose yeah that would have so the point of like wrestling is like it's just three so it's almost pretty ruthless because it's three minutes and there's no like they're just trying to score points yeah yeah so every move and every so it's basically like every move that hurts you is a point um

not as much i mean to go on your back a lot of time it's it's pain like a lot of times it's sort of like you're in pain you're in pain and to release the pain you're going to go on your back a lot of times, it's pain. Like a lot of times it's sort of like you're in pain, you're in pain, and to release the pain, you're going to go on your back. And then if the guy holds you there for a certain amount of points, a certain amount of counts, he gets a certain amount of points. But, you know, you start the match on your feet and one guy's trying to get control of the other guy, and that's two points, and then you get out.

It's a little boring. So this dude was like, yeah, but I mean, it's crazy. This guy was one of the best I've ever wrestled. This guy was, he was a maniac. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it's crazy that he, and he seemingly did that leg thing to you to just be like, yeah, I can do that too, man. Yeah, yeah, man. Like, you know.

Yeah, he was. And you wrestled the same time as Kurt Angle, right? Yeah, I think I was probably maybe a year or two younger than him. And maybe two, he was at Clarion when I was there. Yeah. Clarion School? Yeah, Clarion's college in Pennsylvania. What?

The hotel? Yeah, the hotel. Wow, you guys wrestled for, you're like the fighters. Yeah, I was with Courtyard by Marriott for a couple years. I'll tell you who you don't want to wrestle, the Red Roof guys. I'll tell you what, that't want to wrestle the Red Roof guys I'll tell you what that was they're hungry man those guys are hungry

yeah yeah is there anything about professional wrestling when you watch it that's like interest you as far as wrestling tactics no that's just

could you enjoy it yeah that's what I think from like a like I thought it was funny when I was a kid I remember going I thought it was pretty funny. Yeah. I liked it.

Yeah, it's – yeah, so I mean people realize like – and you don't ever talk about it. You're an All-American. You were – you know, Mike Vecchione who wrestled at Penn State. Yeah, yeah. Mike Vecchione would always say that we always talk about you because he would talk about wrestling. And then Vecchione would be – because people were like, oh, Greg Warren used to wrestle. Could y'all wrestle with V vecchione would be we'd like because people

were like oh greg warren used to wrestle because y'all wrestling vecchione was like greg would rip my head off he goes it wouldn't even be you couldn't even watch it it'd be unfair not today vecchione's in a lot better shape than i am well we're gonna see we're about to bring him in come on in this This is terrible, man. Y'all just have to start doing it. Vecchione's a maniac. He's one of the funniest guys I know and a great guy. But he was a good high school wrestler. I think he either won the state in Florida or got second in Florida.

He was. Yeah, he was a good high school wrestler. And he decided to walk on at Penn State, which was like a top three program. Yeah. You know, I mean, he was, Florida was not a great wrestling state. I mean, he was a good wrestler.

And you know, Vecchione, if you've seen the way he writes jokes, he's like, he's just like, okay, I'll just work as hard as I can. Yeah, yeah. And I'll be there. But like, he should have gone somewhere to some mid-level, you know, and they would have brought him around. Like he goes in and immediately he's probably like fifth

string behind like some of the biggest recruits in the country. Like I wouldn't have gone to Penn State. And I was a guy who, you know, I started wrestling when I was five years old. My father's my coach, you know, I had probably better qualifications coming out. I'd wrestled in all, you know, Vecchione was a good football player in high school yeah and you know i i wrestled all year round almost i mean so uh but yeah he's a he's a madman i was like why'd you go there he's like well i just you know yeah i wanted to go to the best place yeah did you win yeah i mean that's vecchione yeah did you win uh you won state and all like high school twice in high school you ranked in high school coming out were you like top – were you one?

No, I don't – You know when I – Did they do that or – It wasn't as prevalent as it is now. I mean, I think there was some publication where I was mentioned or something. But Missouri wasn't usually – you had to win one of these national tournaments. And usually in high school, there's a big junior national tournament. I did it after my junior year and uh i didn't place

but you know i won probably like 10 matches and still didn't place and i lost to some of the same guys i lost to in college like that you know like uh and then my senior year i went to the i went to west point my senior my freshman year of college so i i didn't do any of that stuff i was in basic training yeah that summer so i went to the to the Army for my whole first year of college and then transferred to Missouri. You know, who else, which is A, for you to get into West Point is impressive. I quit. I should make that clear.

It's just the fact that you got in. The fact that you were going to do that is unreal. You know who else? Shane Gillis went to West Point for one year. Yeah. Oh, I'd love to talk. I don't know Shane, but I'd love to talk because we did – he and I did then.

It's pretty rare. Usually, if you make it through the first year, you stay. Yeah. I think he made it through the first year, but he went and then ended up transferring. Maybe he didn't make it the whole way, but I don't remember. Yeah. He played football.

Shane Gillis played football. And then went to. He played football. Shane Gills played football. Really? And then went to Elon and played football after that. Oh, yeah. Is that North Carolina? I don't know. I think so. I didn't get that deep into it with him.

Yeah, that's pretty cool. I had no idea, man. I'd love to talk to him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I should. Yeah. Very funny guy. And then, yeah, that's very interesting, though. I was going to say, if some heckler rushed the stage down, are there moves you could do to take him down yeah man i mean i'm not in in in shape

like wrestling shape by any stretch but i think there's some i remember um you know when i first moved to new york uh we were talking about earlier i was walking like i was just you're on your walks yeah i was on my walk yeah i was on my walk in like the East Village. I lived in the Lower East Side and I was on my walk. Yeah. And this guy just was like behind me. He was like, hey, man, what are you looking at? And I'm like, you know, nothing, you know, nothing, man.

And then I go, nothing. And then he's, what are you looking at, man? And I was like, hey, man, nothing, man. And I just kept walking. And he sprinted up. And he got my face. And I said something. And he punched me.

It was a pretty good shot. I mean, I was dumb enough to like, I could not have set my chin on a tee more clearly. I was like, where are you going to hit me right there? You know, and he punched me in the face. And for about, it was probably like a four-second pause where I was like, you feel like a victim in the city sometimes. You know, where you're just like, oh, everybody's around me. I just need to be.

And then I was like, oh, what am I going to do? I'll just finish up my walk, you know? And then I was like, wait a minute, man man i practiced doing this every day for 20 years i practiced fighting and i just i just like it so i just shot a single leg to the right side and i picked his leg up and uh he went right down and then i'm like on top of him screaming at him and then within about five seconds i was like i'm about to i'm fighting a heroin addict like you know like this guy there was something wrong with him you know like it was and that he had nothing after that punch man he had yeah it was all in that point it wasn't a bad

punch but after that he had zero you know and uh yeah i still remember that and i and i like was like screaming at him and i was like get out of here man or whatever and there's this dude of course there's some guy with a cell phone you know taping it and he's like yo dog why he hit you i'm like i don't know man he's crazy he's like you a champ dog you a champ and uh and i and then it was over and like if that happened in the suburbs where i live in st louis right now it would be in on the news or like but people in new york right now, it would be on the news. But people in New York were like, yeah, that's it. Yeah, that guy probably deleted the video. Yeah, exactly. We have that video right now. Oh, yeah. Trust me, I'd rather see that video than what you're showing right now about me. But I remember I got home and I called two people. I called my brother,

who lived in Jersey for a long time. He's like, ah, it's just the East Coast, man. And then I called Vecchione, who I'd met through Nate. I didn't know Mike before I moved to New York, but I knew this guy's a wrestler, so I knew I'd like him. And I called Vecchione and told him the story. And then I called somebody else, and they were like, dude, that thing's going to wind up on the internet. That thing's going to make your career. I'm like, hey man, I have a Comedy Central special. That's what it's like.

Nah, man, it wasn't that good. This thing is going to, this is the thing that's going to make your career. And yeah. Yeah, so. So you know how to do it if something happens. I think if some, you know, now if it was a kid that could wrestle,

like when up until about, I'm 53 now now when i was in my early 40s maybe late 30s my dad was still coaching and i could go with really good high school kids not college kids and then a few years later i was up in i just haven't done it and i was up in columbus and the the club owner there, Dave Stroop, Dave's a friend of mine, a great guy and used to wrestle. And he had me, his son was at some wrestling camp and I went to this wrestling camp and I was showing, mostly just like trying to make him laugh and showing some, showed him some technique. And then there was a college kid there and like an idiot.

I was like, yeah, I'll go a little bit. And I almost had a heart attack. And I remember, have you ever been like so exhausted? I like had a cold the rest of the week. I had a cold the rest of the week at the show. I don't know. People are like, well, that's not possible. I know.

I swear this. I had a cold after that. I got beat. I was so bad. I had a cold. And I was like, I'll never, never again. You're the only one that's like, I can't work out. I had a cold. And I was like, I'll never again. You're the only one that's like, I can't work out. I'll get sick.

Your immune system was down. It did, man. I swear I got a cold from it. That's so funny. Yeah. So, yeah, I can't go with somebody that knows how to go anymore. Yeah. I could take.

Yeah. What do y'all do when y'all go? Y'all like, it's like you just like trying to get each other down and like, you know, I mean, there's like a playful, is there, is it getting real? Like shadow boxing almost? Yeah. There's, there's, that's become a lot more popular. It's sort of like what they call sparring where you're going about 50% and

Mike's alma mater, which Penn State now is overwhelmingly the dominant school. Oh, really? Yeah. They've won like 10 out of the last 11 championships or something like, and guy that coaches there kale sanderson it's all about that you hear those guys talking like yeah we do a lot of play wrestling you know and they and they do a lot of sparring when i was uh in college it was um you know you're drilling you're practicing technique or you're going full out live and you're just you know trying to tear each other's head off and that we did too much of that back then like yeah we just because i didn't i think i could have been, you know, trying to tear each other's head off. And that we did too much of that back then. Like we just, cause I didn't, I think I could have been better.

You know, like if I stopped, it's almost the equivalent of a comic who stops writing. You know, like I was going to practice every day. I was trying hard. I was dedicated, but I'd stopped working on new technique. And I wish I could go back. You know, my intellectual curiosity just sort of drained out of me, probably because I was dreading the fact that we're going to beat the hell out of each other for the next hour, hour and a half.

You're just looking at it. Yeah, the older you get, and you've done it forever. Yeah, I was just getting through it. And I've been in places like that in comedy, and I look back, I'm like, what was I doing, man? I wasted that whole nine months worrying about my career, worrying about whether my career is when I could have been writing jokes. Well, it's like you worry instead of make it. Like you're making it.

Yeah. It's like you're – and a lot happens a lot. It's very easy to fall into. But you sit there and you just worry about it when you go, well, I can decide it. I can make it. it yeah and then that's where you get the decision because then if you at least are trying to make it you get a concrete decision of yes or no yeah versus when you're kind of half doing it there's no one can really say yes or no you could think you deserve it's like a very thin like blurred line and but if you're like well i here it is and i finished the product yeah now

you have to tell me yes or no yeah if you say no then i know oh i know why yeah and i can adjust yeah that's that's a great point i mean and it's such a cool thing that we can all do like all of us can do that now we can always be like i'm gonna write this thing this morning i'm gonna sit down and work i'll do it i'd never say my, like, I always think people talk about regrets and stuff like that, like career regrets. And it's like, I think I'm always like, I'm pretty big, like, you know, whatever happened, happened. There's a reason it happened. I wouldn't go back and change anything. It's like I needed to go through all this stuff.

But there is some that when I think back, the only thing i would have probably done when i was younger is like it's like don't go eat as bad and hang out and drinking and like some of that stuff is like i wish i would have i was still working yeah but it's like you're i was it was it made it hard because it's like i'm staying out till which at the beginning i mean sometimes you need to do this but it's there I'm staying out until, which at the beginning, I mean, sometimes you need to do this. But there should have been a point where I should have probably like calmed it down sooner than I did. And I think I could have maybe sped up a little bit just because you would have had the energy to speed up. Right. You were hanging with a crew that was, you know, part of that, though, is like you're around all these funny people. Because I know you were in your 20s in New York with all these monsters monsters of comedy yeah yeah almost like i wouldn't mess with the 20s the 30s i would maybe be like okay

probably told them that like 35 you start going like all right man like this is happening so let's you know focus on but i don't know i mean look i can't nothing's sped up like i can't you know it's it's you know i don't know as i, you're like, but then I have a lot of experiences and stories and that stuff that I wouldn't have had if I would have done some other stuff. Not that you need them because of drinking, but just I stayed maybe in New York longer than maybe I would have if I would have, you know, and that was a good thing that I stayed there longer. Yeah.

So I don't, it's tough. Yeah. You told me, and you quit in your late thirties, didn't you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cause you, I didn't know that. Yeah. yeah, it's tough. Yeah. You tell, and you quit in your late thirties, didn't you? Yeah. I think, yeah. Yeah. Cause you,

I didn't know that. Yeah. I think it's drinking, not comedy. Yeah. A lot of people think comedy. I think 29, I can never remember 2019.

I was at Charlotte comedy zone. Last comedy club I did. We were about next thing I was going to do was theaters. And so it was the last comedy club I did. Really? And then I knew if I didn't, I knew I couldn't carry it on. If I wanted to get to the level that I wanted to, I knew I wouldn't. You know, because you would go hang out at these clubs,

and you just would feel, you know, Thursday would be fun, and the rest of the week you'd feel miserable, and you're just trying to get through the show. Yeah. Too many of those where you're doing the same set you're doing the you know you're not thinking of a new joke because you're like i'm just trying to get past this yeah and then you're so i knew if i when i was going to theaters i was like well if i want to keep going i have to end the thing that makes me be lazy and then now i'm of at the point where it's food. So I'm seeing as now being 43, I'm like, all right, well,

food's kind of a problem. Like it's like I don't know. I mean, I've been doing good. And the last night I got Laura a little chocolate cake for Mother's Day. Didn't even want one. She didn't. I did. But I just, I go, you know what, I'm going to give her a cake.

Laura mentioned cake two weeks ago. Like she said one day, I think I like a piece of cake. So I go buy Mother know what? I'm going to give her a cake. Laura mentioned cake two weeks ago. She said one day, I think I'm going to like a piece of cake. So I go buy Mother's Day cake, and I'm like, got you this cake. She hasn't eaten it. I ate the most out of it. And then I got some regular ice cream. I usually eat Halo Top now, but I got, well, I need regular ice cream.

So, I mean, literally, she was at her mom's all day, and she gets home, and then I'm like huh happy Mother's Day and then she's like alright well I'm gonna go to bed and I go I'll probably just get in this cake for a bit

really Laura Laura before I bought the cake because I bought all this yesterday Laura said she goes I'm stopping to get ice cream

so she was already getting a dessert and I still go but you're gonna be happy when I get I gotta get this cake. So she was already getting a dessert. And I still go, you're going to be happy when I get this. I got to get this cake for you because you mentioned it in passing. Yeah. And so, but I've learned like, so food is like, I can now tell that like last night I was like in bed and I could feel my thoughts just don't stop. And I'm like, oh, it's like, yeah, dude.

Well, I ate a piece of cake and ice cream at 10 yeah and i'm trying to go to sleep by 1 or 1 30 you're like what's not gonna happen no you know that that thing never ends though the food thing is just it never ends but i and i don't i don't ever i don't ever not go to mcdonald's in my life i'm a i love mcdonald's i love chain plate that's i grew up eating all that stuff like uh i'm not against all these things but i've learned that it's i have to realize it's being aware of your body and like being aware of like well i don't feel good yeah and i didn't understand that because when i was in you know when i was eating mcdonald's and drinking every night in new york it's like you just get used to

feeling bad and uh tim i might have said it on here before but tim young i don't know yeah man yeah but tim young i did a cruise ship with him once and he said he was like he's just shredded i mean just perfect body and knows all the holistic stuff all of it yeah and he was doing it uh when we did this cruise i mean it's like not even like it's the fad it's it's like you you know now you go places like calories are listed everywhere and uh you know they have healthy options kind of every you know even mcdonald's you can try to find something but and he would bring his own food on the cruise and he'd eat his phone and i was like well why do you think people don't eat good and he said he goes well i think people don't

know how good it feels and they would be addicted to that feeling if they knew. And then that always stuck with me. I still plow through eating bad. And I still have trouble with it. But I remember that always stuck with me just because I was like, because you have days when you eat good and you're like, yeah. If you thought of that like you thought of alcohol, you would be the healthiest person because you would be addicted to like

the feeling you would get from alcohol and stuff would be, I mean, you're just in a good mood every day. Yeah. You wake up, you have energy, you wouldn't even need coffee. Like you just are like, golly, I feel awesome. Today is all, and you're like happy. And it's like, yeah, because you're just eating now, maybe not going to the extremes of that. But it's like, if you can eat good and then go eat one bad meal just so you know the next day you're like that yeah i don't feel good and you

know that you don't feel good otherwise you when i you're doing it over every day you don't every day is miserable so you know immeasurable in the stance of the older you get you start that's what now in my 40s you're like yeah it's i feel it way more than I ever did. Oh yeah. Yeah. Fifties it's even more pronounced. Yeah. Yeah. I can imagine. I doubt I won't ever get there, but I'm skipping going to 60. I can already, you already look at your fifties as it's funny. When you look at these ages, I remember 40 and then 43 and I've now 43 used to be so old. And now I look at 40 and I go, dude,

I'm like the youngest person that's ever done comedy. Yeah. You like think that in your head and you're, you know, and then, cause you're looking at 45 and you're like, well, that's going to be old. And then 46 doesn't feel that old for some reason. 46, 47, I think is kind of like, you're kind of like, everything's okay. And then I imagine 50. But then I could see 50,

you just see yourself going like, well, you're 50. You're like, it's nice. You know what you want. You know what you're doing. You know, like you're just. It is a little bit. For me, 45 through 50 was the one where,

well, it was also because I didn't, I had this day job for the first 10 years of my career i didn't really i did a little comedy but i didn't quit my day job till i was like 33 yeah so 45 like right when i was in sort of a couple years in new york and doing stuff on the road and i had done some stuff but right around then i started uh thinking man i think i'm getting pretty good at comedy and then that is right around the time when i started looking in the mirror being like, you got to be kidding me. Like, this is not, this is not, I can't turn this around. You know, like I just started looking a lot different.

And like that, I kind of held it off. Like when I was like 40, I think I looked like I was 30. When I was 50, I looked like I was 50. But that mindset, like it is, I understand that. I mean, I think about that too, where I think, you know, am I too old? Like I talk about my act about being my, I talk about my age that I am. And you're, you know, you see other, like sometimes people don't say what their age is. And sometimes you think, well, should I not be saying like, you know you see other like sometimes people don't say what their age is and sometimes you think well should i not be saying like you know i feel like i shouldn't be reminding people

that i'm you know i'm 40 anything this stuff but you're an unreal comedian amazing comic so funny like one of the top comics everybody is giant giant fans of you. And it's – when you have an act and people go see it, it doesn't matter. And it's like – you're almost like – yeah, dude, you get into the Hollywood world somewhat when you're – if you're 20. Yeah. But then where you create – where you can – it's not – I don't want to say money with wealth, but the wealth of fans and the wealth of people following you is like that's all. If you're on the ground doing that stuff, I mean, that's how you can become Walmart. Like you can become these. You're something that doesn't go away.

Yeah. And so you create an act, and it's someone that they can hang their hat on. They know I'm going to have a good time. I know what it is. I can't wait to see. And it's a good person. It's a good, like, I think. I think it's it i appreciate you saying that it's more fun and then i think about who i like and then most of the guys i like are are

pretty experienced although yeah you see guys like him and you're like this guy figured it out way early but you yes but aaron's very funny and then but Aaron will get will be you like it's like Aaron's very funny you were very funny like it's like the guys that are good are good comics

you can see that they're good comics and you can see that they're true comics in the sense of like they're doing it the way as an older person you know as you get older

you're like you can look at them and you're doing it the right way you're doing it you know Aaron's doing it the right way and he's going up

every night he's doing he's building this act and all that kind of stuff. So that's what you can see. And that's a good, I think that's a, that's a great thing versus when people are, you know, when you see the young kind of, you know, there's a new wave of it where sometimes these people you don't know, and some of them have specials and some of them, and you're like, they don't have the experience. And I just look at it. And the hardest part I always thought of when you came up is to, you another one Kurt Metzger said this and I liked it everything you want it comes

it comes slower than you want but quicker than you think yeah it's like that idea that you you know you think well I want it now and then it's like well it's going to take a long time and it's not but when you get it and then when you get to that point, and you're like, you know, I earned. Like, you're like, you feel more ownership over it. And the fact that, like, dude, I had to go up every night for every day for 20 years. Yeah.

Like, or whatever it is. You get in those situations. You talk about those bad shows earlier where you're like, it's just not going to go bad. Like, your show is going to be, if it's bad, it's like, well, the audience was yelling, though. Like, it's like, there's a reason. You're just not going to go bad. Like, your show is going to be, if it's bad, it's like, well, the audience was yelling, though. Like, it's like, there's a reason. You're just not going to go bomb.

Yeah. Because you're just too good of a, like, you're too protected. Yeah, you don't have the bad show. You know, every now and then, it's usually outside of a comedy club or some sort of weird venue. I had a bad one in front of the Cardinals one time. But it's the situation. But it was. It's an unfair situation. Like, it's a. You get over of the Cardinals one time. But it's the situation. But it was – It's an unfair situation.

Like it's a – You get over it a lot quicker though. You told me the last time I saw you, you said you've been in comedy long enough to know where you think something's going to make your career or something so bad it's going to break your career. But you've learned the highs aren't as high and the lows aren't as low. No, it's like some – It's a continuum. Yeah, there's – Yeah.

Which I hate to say that because there are – Especially for someone like you, like there will be some magic moment. There could be this thing for you that completely opens up one night. Like, you know, you go to Hollywood and somebody could see it. So it could happen. But for the most part, it's usually like. You can't be trying to find it.

No. Yeah. Don't go looking for it. When it comes, it comes. Just be, make sure, you got to make sure you're ready for it. Right. And so like that's where the work comes in. And people don't want to do the work, and they want to find a trick around it.

Well, you just got to have the work come in. And when that thing happens, if you're – here's a big saying. If you're a good comedian, if you're a very funny comedian, you're not going to not work. Like, truly, talent does matter. And, like, people – and whether someone gets a pop and they get a rise and they could even make a few million dollars or something but then it will catch up to go that that was a phase i mean you could look at like dane cook i i think they cook is very funny i think his specials were

great i'm a big dane cook fan yeah but it's like dane cook had the rise of like where he had these a lot of college kids a lot of all these people gonna see him this is the giant thing and then where dane cook's at now and he's not in a bad place in his career but it's not to the height that it was and because it's like some stuff can have that so you're like well i look at it's like well how can you create this audience that's going to stay and they're going to build with you and i think they got to grow and that's where an audience that i feel like kind of grows with you and they you know you just talk about you and your world, and then they relate to it on their own time frame. So if I'm talking about having a kid, well, then you can hopefully be like,

there might be someone that's 10 years old right now, and they might listen to this in 25 years. And they could be like, ah, I relate to that. You're just trying to do something that, like, relatability is what I'm a big fan of. Because you're talking about experiences and stuff that people can do. And then they can relate to it, and then they draw off of it. It doesn't have to be this kind of, you know, if it's a fad that you're talking about, it's like, well, that fad could go away.

I mean, look at clothes. Like, you can't talk about one thing and then, like, clothes come back. I mean, these bell bottoms. I do it from stage bottoms i do it from stage right right from the stage uh what clothes you got on what's under that t-shirt yeah that auburn shirt what do you do you wear you wear uh like a wife you wear a full t-shirt he goes i do the full t-shirt he goes i should do that too. This guy's a man. This guy's good. This guy's on his. This guy's crazy, dude. I don't know what he's going to say. He'll cut you to the quick, man.

I'm sitting up front, and the guy goes, you got a belt on? My shirt was untucked. How did you know I had a belt on? It's the best I've seen. I mean, he asked me, but I think he knew. I meant to tell you this. So I saw you, but you're wrestling. I do like to.

I love, I mean, you were an All-American. I believe your name and stuff is all on the wall at Missouri. That pic of him? No, I don't. Oh, well. No, you guys just got that one video of me taking a beating. Yeah. The only one we got is just.

Oh, okay. But you're. So, you know who I saw when we went on vacation? I saw Michael Chandler. Oh, yeah, man. I know him. Yeah. Oh, I know.

And so, I told. I saw him and I ran. Michael Chandler actually UFC this weekend won this. Yeah. Awesome. Crazy knockout. he's the guy I'm sure you've seen the videos where he

kicked Tony Ferguson kicked the guy I'm sure people have seen pictures even if you don't watch UFC he kicked him straight with his foot

and but it's so I saw him he was at the pool and I saw him and I'm a big UFC fan are you? I'm a giant UFC fan

and then I think they're just doing it the best right now almost of I think they're just doing it the best right now. Almost of all sports. They're just, they, they sell shit. They sell shows very well.

Like the, the fights are great. You're the drama that's around it. Like it's, I'm a, I'm a giant fan. And, uh,

so, uh, I saw him and I was like, Hey, Michael Chandler, right. And I talked to him, whatever.

And, uh, it was very cool. But then when I, he, he, we talked about, uh, Missouri and I talked about you. I, cause I told like, hey, Michael Chandler, right? And I talked to him, whatever. And it was very cool. But then we talked about Missouri. And I talked about you. Because I told him I was a comic. And I go, oh, I'm friends with Greg Warren. And he goes, oh, Greg.

Because you ran with his brother, I guess. I knew his. Eric and I. His brother's an actor. Yeah. We did a couple projects. I put him in some videos. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That's what he said. Yeah. And I was like. And after that, I said, Greg's like the real. Yeah. And I was like, and I asked him, I said, Greg's like the real deal,

right? He goes, oh yeah, dude. He's like, his like names on the wall. It's like his face is on the wall. He's like an all American.

They go, he's like the real, real deal. And so it was like cool to out. It's not like you're standing there with me. Yeah. Where he has to say something. That's really nice.

Outside of it. Yeah. He's like, oh yeah, dude. Greg Warren's like, that's nice. Real. He's like, oh, yeah, dude. Greg Warren's like real legit. That's nice to hear. Yeah, Mike, I mean, I've always stayed close to the program.

And they would have me go do like the coach and I are friends. And back when Mike was wrestling there, I would like he'd have me come in before practice and do like 20 minutes for those guys to try to get them a laugh before practice or whatever. But Chandler is insane because he was never a high school state champion. Yeah. And then he was an All-American in college, and then he's, you know.

And he's fought for the title. Yeah. And he managed to get a shot at it too. Yeah, yeah. He's a good guy. He trains here in Nashville. Oh, does he really? I thought he was in San Diego.

Okay. Or maybe, I don't know if he trains here. Maybe he lives here or something. But he trained, or maybe he's in san diego okay uh or maybe i don't know if he trains here maybe maybe he lives here some but he trained or maybe he's in florida when he's trained for a fight yeah i think when he's not fighting he might be here yeah he's a man he's a good guy his family's really nice too i know his mom and dad a little bit yeah they're it's good hearted i mean him and his wife i think they adopted two uh i mean we met his son uh which you saw him this weekend if he was on if you watched the fight and they just adopted another baby, which is adoptions. My mom and I said it's the most selfless thing you could do.

And so, yeah, they're good people. I loved being in the pool too with them, just in the fact that – that sounds – just being around them. Because when we got out of the pool, he'd take his shirt off. I was like, God, I knew him. And then, no, but like in the pool, we're sitting there, and you're just like, you could beat up, I mean,

maybe probably 95% of the state. Oh, yeah, man. Much less this hotel. Like you walk around with just no fear. Yeah. Ever. Yeah, because the wrestlers, you know, a lot of fights wind up in a wrestling match. You don't usually stare.

But then he can also punch somebody. Like, my hands are tiny. I couldn't hit anybody and do any damage. Like, he can punch somebody and kick them. And, like, yeah, he's a really tough guy. So I didn't know you were a fan. And I'm not a giant MMAma guy but i i followed him and then i was a i'm friends with ben askren so uh cool who's a yeah i just i love that guy's

philosophy on on life and yeah athletics and everything yeah and tyron woodley is a st louis guy and wrestled at missouri too oh yeah i knew a little bit. I saw him once at – I don't know any of these guys. But I saw him once at Disney World. And I try to write a joke about it. Like, I was like, you're looking at this guy that could beat up – you just think, there's not a man in this park. There's just not. Right.

Like, on that level – I mean, I think he was a champion, UFC champion. Yeah. And so, on that level, you're, I think he was a champion, UFC champion. Yeah. And so on that level, you're like, there's not a, you're the, it's crazy to go like I'm 100% know that you're the toughest guy in this part. Yeah. Just no matter what. Right. Even the guy that thinks he can fight good, he's not, it's not this.

Not with Tyron Woodley. Yeah. And so you're looking at him. And then I loved, it was the idea of like being a dad. Like I got this just little glimpse. I don't know him, but I imagine he's a good dad. Sweet guy, man. Yeah, you see him.

He's just a really, really nice guy. You could see him be like a great dad, and the reason you could see it was that his five-year-old daughter, I mean, just talk to him like he was a chump. It's the thing that i love about children too is like you know she's just like tired like it's a five-year-old kid but it's just so funny that or you know she's just getting a little like sleepy and they all kind of go now now she's doing that kind of stuff and you want to be you're just looking there like your dad would beat up the

whole park and you're the only one that has the nerve to talk back to this man and you're five i never thought of it that way it's just such a funny like hey don't upset him because i don't want him to take it out on me god i hope you make that into a bit that's a great observation yeah i love that just it's the idea of uh just children the way they talk back to adults that could beat them up. But the only way for them to do that, I believe, is, I mean, there has to be love there. Because a kid's not going to do it if there's fear that they're going to get. So it shows me that it's her dad.

And nothing else matters to her. Right, right. And it's like, there's a lot of love there. If he was a bad father, she wouldn't do it. She would be aware of who he was outside of it. She would be scared of it. Yeah. But the fact that, you know, her dad's gigantic.

And I just, that little moment, I didn't even, I told him, I walked by and said, big fan. Like, that was it. But I just, I remember seeing it and it was just like, yeah, the funny is a five-year-old girl. She's like, you know, she's like, she's not being a bad kid. She's just tired. Like, it's a stone to fit. And she's just like, I don't want to do it. You know? And five-year-old girl. She's like, she's not being a bad kid. She's just tired. Like, it's a stone to fit. And she's just like, I don't want to do it.

And he's like, come on. Like, trying to get her to do something. And you're like, he can make anybody do anything. Yeah. Literally, there's not a person in this park that could talk to him, and he would kill him. He would go to jail for life. Yeah. And just the only one, if you wanted to say something to him, have her do it.

You need to come to her and just be be like i don't like your dad's parking job you might tell him that he parked outside the lines just so there you go that's the angle yeah yeah it might be a bit i need time i need more time so uh all right we need to be i mean we're we have to come back and we're do missouri with you this is probably a lot of missouri stuff that we didn't do yeah yeah uh mean, you guys took shots at the mule. I don't know if I want to. You might not come back. Yeah.

I get it. I get it. Start your own mule podcast. You called our animal a middle act or something? Middle act is being gracious. Yes, Bob. Open mic or something. I think your animal is the animal that picks you up from the airport.

I mean, it's got to carry you back. Takes you to radio in the morning that's pretty much it uh uh so greg warren check every website uh all your tour dates greg's uh an amazing amazing comic i remember hearing him uh when i was first starting uh at bob on bob and tom you're on bob and tom a lot you did a lot of stuff with them bob and tom was a big radio show for me when I was going to start. I listened to it. I read Water Meter, so you just had Bob and Tom on. And I would listen to all the comics, and I was like, I want to be a comic.

So it was like such an insight to go do it. And then one of the things that I always remember that you did, I don't know if you remember it. I featured for you. I opened for you at Lexington, the comedy club. Oh, yeah, man. And you bought my lunch. And it was like, you're likeington, the comedy club. Oh, yeah, man. And you bought my lunch. And you were, and it was like, you're like, this is what headline, you know, it's like

you take the open act, the feature act, you take them out for lunch, you buy them lunch. And I remember that always stuck with me. Oh, man. That's the first time I met you. I drove over. I was in Louisville and I drove over and met you guys. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

At Lexington? Yeah. Yeah. He said, you didn't buy Brian's. He goes, I ain't buying your shit. He goes, I ain't buying your shoes. He goes, I can't buy the whole restaurant. All right.

Well, I was going to buy Bates lunch. Then he's like, hey, what kind of shoes you got there? I told him

and I was like, man, this guy just put me down. He's the best. Just on point. He is the best. It's like Don Rickles. Real like Don Rickles. Real life Don Rickles.

What is that, overalls? That's nice. So Greg, check out where he's touring, everything, your website, did you have anything coming up this coming weekend? This comes out this week.

Not working much? I'm doing a bunch of corporate stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's good. I'm going to a wedding on Saturday. You got to do time in that? No, I hope not, man. Yeah.

It never goes good. No. You know they want to ask. No. Is it like a close friend? No, it's a guy that's a comic. So if anybody's doing it, he's doing it. Oh, that's perfect.

Oh, that's even like a relief. Yeah. You know. Yeah. They wouldn't care that I'm a comic there. it. Oh, that's perfect. Oh, that's even like a relief. Yeah. If you know. Yeah. They wouldn't care that I'm a comic there. Yeah. No, that's great. Yeah.

I'm at, I'm in Vegas this weekend, Spokane, Vancouver. This is like the last, this month, I mean, I have a bunch of summer dates and stuff like that. And then the fall will start up. I got, this is the bunch of summer dates and stuff like that, and then the fall will start up. This is the last big run, though, of this. So I'm gone. Yeah, Spokane. I mean, a lot of places.

It's all on my website. Vegas this weekend. Fresno, Santa Barbara. Nice. It was from Canada. I'm going to Vancouver. Wow. And then So

Come out Check that out This Wednesday I'm in Atlanta At the City Winery With Jen Fullwaller Oh man And

I guess this day This comes out So if you missed that Come to Aaron and I's show In Woodstock, Georgia Woodstock, Georgia May 26th Brian and I are co-headlining

Then I'm at the Chattanooga Comedy Catch Later that weekend Then Austin Cap City the next week oh good please come to that i'd like to move some tickets that's great yeah go go to austin cap city is a big club man that's a big deal it's a big deal to get to headline that that's a really big deal it's one of the coolest places man yeah yeah i'm pumped yeah it's a it Yeah, it's a very big deal for us as comics. And when you get a headline, Cap City, it's an honor. And so it's like, yeah. So if you're going to pick one, just go to that.

Don't worry about the other shows. Last thing I want to say, yeah, Salt Lake City. Wise guys, Brian and I will both be there at the end of June. Another great one. Another great one. That's a big one, too. Yeah, that's a good one. That's a good one. Salt Lake, when you work wise guys, it's a big one too yeah that's a good one that's a good one solid yeah when you work wise guys it's a big deal if you can't get tickets to see nate see the other two

thirds of the podcast arguably arguably two thirds uh your partners yeah that's right my business partner here yeah life insurance yeah i'm getting life insurance because they're all talk y'all have a meeting to talk about what you would like to present. And I'll tell you whose idea it was. And then you have to tell on each other. Then you have to go down together. I go, well, this is the dumbest thing. You're like, what if we did a barn door as a table? What are y'all even – what ideas are y'all –

Bates did it. Bates thought I didn't – We'll be doing a lot of crowd work. What a barn door as a table. I don't know if I want to do it can I see it Aaron's like wait and bring it so I can't see it he goes nah nah I'll have it in about two months

it's the idea little call back that's how you do comedy little button on the that is a button alright everybody we love you thank you for listening as always we appreciate it none of that's lost on us can't thank love you thank you for listening as always uh we appreciate it none of that's lost on us can't thank you enough thank you very much see you next

week nateland is produced by nateland productions and by me, Nate Bargetze, and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.