The Nateland Podcast - #99 Peanut Butter & Potato Chips feat. Greg Warren

Episode Date: May 18, 2022

This week, Greg Warren returns and the guys delve into one of their most serious topics yet - peanut butter and potato chips. Greg relives his days working as a salesman for Procter & Gamble and enlightens everyone about the strategy behind selling Jif peanut butter and the highs and lows of selling Pringles potato chips. The guys also learn what condiments should be refrigerated, how to properly use ketchup packets and the best way to get ketchup out of a bottle.   Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail] Solo Stove – SoloStove.com   Shop now and get up to 30% off fire pits all month long, AND use promo code NATE at checkout to get an extra $10 off. Plus a lifetime warranty and FREE 30-day returns. Just go to solostove.com. And remember, you get $10 off when you use promo code NATE.     Athletic Greens - AthleticGreens.com/Nate ·         Right now, it’s time to reclaim your health and arm your immune system with convenient, daily nutrition — especially heading into the flu and cold season!  ·         It’s just one scoop in a cup of water every day. That’s it! No need for a million different pills and supplements to look out for your health.  ·         To make it easy, Athletic Greens Is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase.  ·         All you have to do is visit ATHLETIC GREENS.com/NATE. ·         Again, that is ATHLETIC GREENS.com/NATE to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance!   Indeed - Indeed.com/Nate   Start hiring NOW with a SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLAR SPONSORED JOB CREDIT to upgrade your job post at Indeed dot com slash NATE. Offer good for a limited time. Claim your SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLAR CREDIT now at Indeed dot com slash NATE. Indeed dot com slash NATE. Terms and conditions apply. Pay per qualified applicant not available for all users. Need to hire? You need Indeed.     True Bill – Truebill.com/Nate ·  Don’t fall for subscription scams. Start canceling today at Truebill.com/NATE. ·  Go right now - Truebill.com/NATE - it could save you THOUSANDS a year. ·  Truebill.com/NATE.

hello folks welcome to the nateland podcast uh let's go folks uh welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. If you're watching this, I'm somewhere. Spokane. We got Aaron Weber, or Aaron Weber, Brian Bates, and the back, the beautiful Greg Warren. Hey, guys. Thanks for coming back. People are surprised you're back. They hated your episode. And it's a shock.

They go, how dare you've been canceled what if that what if you go out and get canceled what was it you said that like what if you go get canceled and because we're taping this right after we tape that other one but what happens if you get canceled do we just blur you out you guys won't do that will you maybe change your voice like one of those like, Hey, it's me. Hey, it's me. Yeah. It's all your jokes.

We got to take his name out. But it's like, yeah, that'd be hilarious. The guy goes, I don't want to be on tape. And they go, yeah, absolutely, dude. He goes, all right. Well, the other day I was going, my name is Nate Bargetti, by the way. And the other day near my house, I live over by. And you're like, well, dude, let us just show you then, if you're just doing your name.

I kind of like that voice. I think that would be better for me. He does voices. He does voices. Missouri, you know. Yeah, yeah. Missouri on Missouri. Yeah.

Something like that. Yeah, I like that. He does Stanley from The Office. Nah. Yeah. That comes every now and then. He's a voice guy. Oh, yeah.

It's my whole act. Yeah. He does everything he has to. I do a voice guy. Oh, yeah. It's my whole act. Yeah. He does that when he has to. I do a lot of stuff with the stool, and I do voices. He does voices. I mean, he has to. The jokes are what they are. I started with as a voice guy.

Yeah. Who are you looking at, Greg? I don't know, man. Aaronland? Are you on Aaronland right now? Welcome to Aaronland, everybody. We're my guests today. I'm looking.

There's a lot of posters and stuff back there. I believe you're on. Yeah, my name is on one of those. Right there. CMT comment stage. My first TV credit. Greg Warren. Yeah, I remember that.

And y'all thought I worked for CMT. I remember that. Did we? Everybody did. Because I was like, I mean, I was, no, I didn't. Y'all knew each other. Yeah. From Bob and Tom. There's a lot of bob and tom guys and then uh no one knew me and they thought i remember one point somebody goes oh i thought you worked for cmt like and i was just hanging out with the comics uh so it was very funny and uh cmt guys got a pretty good act yeah

i'll tell you i'm not gonna be honest with you. It's not bad. One guy was like, it's about what I expected. Yeah. Well, that's what you get when you work for, I mean, your day job is this. So here we are this week. We've got Greg back. And hey, well, you need to look up, because we said we're going to do it for things, the bio. You need to type your bio. Oh, that's right.

I'll set that up. So let's start off with you guys, hearing from you guys. Angie, I love, we don't make you smart, we make you happy, as Nate Land's new slogan. Oh, that's good. Yeah, you mentioned that last week on the books episode, or two weeks ago on the books episode. Yeah, I heard some of that.

You said, yeah, that's what we do. Thanks for trying to get through it, Greg. Honestly, you guys. It's five minutes in. It's hard. I listened to one where you had Vecchione in there. I was listening on the way here. I was driving from Myrtle Beach, and it was really good.

And I was like, man, I don't want to hear any more of this. I'm not going to be this funny. No, I get it. So you don't want to hear. It's better to have your honest reactions to whatever. I think for being funny. We go to radio shows. If you go do anything, you're like, I just need to be funny.

If I know too much, you try to play too much, and then it can be not funny. I get it. What was it? Someone last week, or in the books episode, but Justin commented about how they love the fact that you guys are – we lean into our ignorance and we don't know what we're talking about. Yeah. And you said, that's right. We don't want to make you smart. We make you happy.

Oh. That is a bad slogan. Yeah. Oh. Thanks, Angie. I would have forgot it completely. So I truly would have. So that's not a bad – we don't make you smart.

We make you happy. You forgetting it would be on brand. Yeah. It goes... That's what Angie would say. She goes, we don't make you smart. We make you happy. What are you coming after? How do you get off, Angie? She's like, no, you said it. I go, did I?

Yeah, that's it. I've got the bio whenever you're ready, Nate. All right. This is Aaron Weber's AI bio. Are you willing to put it up on your website? I'll put it on my website right now. Okay. Well, don't do it now.

But it's probably a whole thing, right? Yeah, it's a whole thing. Okay. You just check out of the podcast. Do we want to read it? A good 40 minutes here over there doing some web work. just check out of the podcast do we want to read it or a good 40 minutes here over there doing some web work i remember building websites when uh when i was in new york like when websites were starting to become the thing when you had when myspace was real and then you had the the website

thing i forget what it was called you could build your own for free oh yeah and then i remember making mine and kicks or something? Wicks. Wicks. And then, so I remember doing it. I remember it being very fun, but I remember starting it, and the next thing you know, it is 5, 6 in the morning. And you're like, well, I don't even know what happened. You can do that. And you're in the same spot that you were in,

and you're like, I spent all night. You made the background blue. Yeah. You're like, that took all day. You're like, that took all, I mean it took so long so let's do you want me to read it or do you yeah you can read i think all right uh aaron weber is a southern stand-up comedian who's a co-host of the nateland podcast he's originally from new orleans louisiana he started performing stand-up comedy in high school and at college open mics. After college, he moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career in comedy. He's appeared on The CW and Channel 4.5.

He's also a regular at the Comedy Store in Hollywood. Aaron is a high-energy performer with a knack for writing clever jokes. He's a relatable comic who talks about his life and observations in a way that's relatable and entertaining. He's a rising star in the comedy world and is someone to watch out for in the future. I like it. Sounds about right.

I just changed New Orleans to Montgomery, Alabama, and then we're all set. Yeah, I would probably change to New Orleans. The comedy store. Comedy store. Yeah, I'll just leave that. No, leave that. Yeah, I would probably change to New Orleans. The comedy store. Comedy store, yeah. I'll just leave that. No, leave that. Yeah, that sounds good. You gotta leave everything else.

I would say do that. You don't want to be getting emails about you a New Orleans comic? Yeah. Come talk about Mardi Gras. And you're like, well, I'm not.

I'm not from there. I beg to differ. The AI. People pointed out when you read the last one how you just nailed it, and you just did it again. When you read this, you're like. I'm a good AI guy.

I should be sent to talk to the AI. You could be the liaison from the human race. I got them. I speak their language. I go, hello. And I tell them, they're coming after you. All right. This is a good bio.

That's wild. What'd you do is a good bio. That's wild. What'd you do on 4.5? That's the show that we did together. The Circle Network. Circle Network. Oh, I was on that too, wasn't I? Yeah. You're one of the hosts.

I have no idea what that is. You're one of the faces of it, Greg. Yeah, you're the reason he got picked up. That was a genuine question here's the reason you got picked up they go well we got Greg Warren

and they go alright I guess we'll do it I was genuinely thinking it was a made up thing yeah what were you on in CW oh that comedy Howie Mandel

Howie Mandel yeah COVID in channel 4.5 yeah all the way he's like oh so he's on two channels

you go no no no he wasn't he was in the middle of two channels stuck yeah yeah it's you're not good enough to be on four or five i am good i'm good enough to be on that channel in the middle and you gotta have a special kind of tv to watch that channel you do uh static yeah you do have to. It's funny that it's still the idea of trying to make it like TV. I mean, their audience is just – I think it's like everybody watches 80 or above or something.

They're not even – Yeah, my mom's the only one I know who got it, who could actually see it. And her friend Gail, the one who has the smartphone, called her. She saw it too. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Wow, Gail does. Gail's nailing it. What does Gail, the one who has the smartphone, called her. She saw it too. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Wow.

Gail does. Gail's nailing it. What does Gail do? She drives like a Prius or something? No. She has to be home. She doesn't drive at night. Oh.

So in the wintertime, she can't go to night church because it gets too dark outside. Oh. But this time of year, she's killing it because the days are so late. It feels like there should be some kind of service or something. Yeah, they should do something for that. Why are you going against Gail? Gail can't go. The church should adapt to that. I mean, does the church not see no one coming?

And you're like, all these people don't want to drive at night? I don't know if it's a huge amount, but Gail doesn't see well at night. Yeah, a lot of older people, that's what happens. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I'll work on it. Church should adapt to it.

Yeah. David Stadelman, Jr. David Stadelman, Jr. As a disabled combat vet with deployments to Afghanistan and Iraq, I think I speak for all service members, but I thank Nate for not joining. Not because I don't think he speak for all service members, but I thank Nate for not joining. Not because I don't think he'd be a good soldier, but we don't necessarily

need someone wondering how rain and clouds work in the middle of a hostile situation. We do, however, need your personality and humor more as an outlet after tough situations. Thank you for your years of entertainment and a way to let go of some of the darkness so many of us deal with.

And for the record, I'd gladly serve alongside you keep up the awesome work thank you david it's very nice uh that's very nice that's very very it means a lot still gonna join david come in me and you buddy we'll be riding around you're like i think he's over there i'm like what is over there i did hear on the episode that you went uh with Kennedy. Yes. I went with him to Iraq. Yeah. That was, I think I laughed the hardest I've ever laughed in my life during that week, man. Yeah.

Yeah, just some of the crazy stuff we got to do. Yeah, it was fun. Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. Well, you don't have to live over there. It's a pretty good time. And they're, that was always the hard part. They're like, thank you for coming.

And you're like, no, dude, you have to stay here i'm heading home yeah i i saw it and that's what you do is real uh tory dixon hi nate my husband david is a huge fan we went to your show at the palace theater in downtown la he's also one of the helicopter police officers that flew over you so many times at universal while you're filming your special. I think he feels like he was a special part of that show. That's crazy. Yeah. That's crazy.

So, Greg, I do comedy for a living. Oh, yeah. And in my special, they had helicopters fly over. It just happened. There was a police chase. That's unreal, dude. Wow. And so it was in my special. And so I had to talk about it because it was a police chase. That's unreal, dude. Wow. And so it was in my special.

And so I had to talk about it because it was happening so much. Really? And so during the special, it's like all these helicopters flying. We just addressed it. We can't make jokes. And so we found out later

it was a police chase. And it's unreal. This guy? That this is the guy and he's one of the helicopter police officers. Well, hey, Tor, why don't you ask your husband, where does he get off? Where? Calls himself a fan.

Yeah. I thought you were a fan, David. It's a town that knows something about respecting show business. Right, right. I believe it says, I'm a huge fan. Well, David, what the matter with you? That's unreal, dude. We need to know when he's in LA or comes to another show.

You got a San Diego show coming up? Yeah, the fair. I think he's coming to that. I'm doing that with Leanne Morgan. San Diego fair. That's awesome. It's pretty fun. First fair I've ever done.

That's a great show. Right after it's bearded lady, me, they're weighing pigs. So that's going to be the – Bearded Lady comes out. I do – me and Leanne do a hot 30, 40 hour, I don't know, whatever it is, and then they weigh the pigs. That's a great show, man. Yeah. We have to do it on the scale. So the whole time it just fluctuates between 197, 180. Leanne's not happy about it, but you got to do it on the scale. So the whole time it just fluctuates between 197, 180.

Leanne's not happy about it, but you got to do it. I imagine you had to do a show on a scale. And you're up there. I mean, you couldn't even do, you know, you're trying to do no, like, fat jokes. And someone's reading the scale and they're like, I mean, it says 450. They can't get over that yeah there would be a guy that locked in on it and just wouldn't yeah all right man yeah it does say 450 can we just move on can we just it's a lot yeah man but it's it's 450 i can't wrap my i just can't get over i know man know, man, but I got to get through this show.

Yeah. I've admitted to the fact that it says 450 on the scale. I did a couple jokes on it. I thought that was enough. And he goes, but when you're on a scale like you sure, your whole act should be that. I mean, this wasn't my idea, man. Yeah.

I didn't want to do this, okay? Yeah. Well, now it says 800. Yeah. Well, someone fell on it back here. That ain't me. He goes, you sure? I don't see anything up this. Okay. Yeah. Well, now it says 800. Yeah. Well, someone fell on it back here. That ain't me because you sure I don't see anything up there. You don't know. Yeah.

Oh, that was an old trick. This is the funniest thing. When you're a high school wrestler, your life is dependent on what you weigh. And you're just trying to make weight. And, you know, you'd have a guy that would, you know, just cut and wait, cut and wait all day. And you'd get on the scale, and you'd sneak up behind him and put your foot on the scale. Just to freak him out.

You'd see the sheer panic in his face. Just being like, oh, no. Yeah, and it's like one of those things like a squirt gun or when it's so funny unless it's happening to you. Yeah. It's not funny at all. In that movie, is it Foxtrot? Foxcatcher. Foxcatcher. It's not funny at all. In that movie, is it Foxtrot? Foxcatcher.

Foxcatcher. I haven't seen it yet. Well, he has to lose like 12 pounds. Oh, dad, you ruined the whole thing. Yeah, now. Is it even worth watching?

No, not now. Not now? The whole thing is about the weight loss? Yeah. Killing it at Bates. I don't know. Just tell me the whole thing,

I guess. He has to lose like 12 pounds in 30 minutes or something, right? To make weight? I don't remember. I mean, I did nine and a half in two hours one time with the Nationals. How'd you do it?

Just water weight. Yeah, but you can't do it now. Some of the rules, like back then, we just put on those like sauna suits. Do you spit a lot? No, that's kind of like rookie stuff. In high school, it's like rookie amateur stuff. Yeah, to lose real, we'd seal off a shower, put all the showers on, and you'd ride a bike.

You can't run because it's too hard. It zaps all your strength. So you would go in for flights. We did it to the Scorpions live album. We had it down to a science. You would do the first two songs, then you'd go sit out a song, then you'd go back in. Oh, that's fun.

Yeah. Yeah. That's a good idea. Yeah. All right. Well, yeah. They might come to that San Diego show. Yeah.

All right. Yeah. We'll be in touch, and I'd love to meet you guys. That's so crazy. Yeah. Wow. Kayla Byram, 95% of the reason this podcast is so great

is due to the relationship between you three. Could you please tell us how y'all met, the age difference between Batman and Aaron? Makes me curious on how this happened. Well, I think you were, you know. You're the 5%, Greg. Is that what you meant yeah

oh yeah yeah I don't know have we not said when we met I feel like we have I think when I met I don't

I met you a long time I don't I don't know yeah just in comedy just doing comedy at Zany's I was already doing I've been doing comedy

for 19 years almost it'll be 20 next year obviously you were living in New York what about the next year i might go backwards i don't know i'll decide i'll decide how old i look and i'm like you know in about 14 years what you've been doing 15 yeah 15 yeah so i was already like i was in new york i

was when i we met i was in new New York, and I was around that. You come home a lot for holidays and stuff. Big Vandy fans. Yeah, yeah. Did Zany's and would pop in. But I was in the thick of New York, maybe. Yeah. Well, like, yeah.

I was doing spots. And I'd go see you in New York. You were talking about how New York sports bars, there's one for every team. Yeah. I went to a Titans bar. I thought it was the greatest thing ever. I wanted to talk to everybody in there because I thought we all had this – no one cared.

I'm going up to them, hey, buddy. In my mind, everyone's from Nashville. No one was. They just – the guy had a Nashville Sounds hat on, and I sit next to him to try to talk to him about the Sounds. Yeah. Just doesn't care at all. Not at all.

He goes, what about that pitcher we just got? He's like, I don't know why you to talk to him about the sounds. Yeah. He just doesn't care at all. Not at all. He goes, what about that pitcher we just got? He's like, I don't know why you would talk to me, sir. It was true. The Cardinal bar was a lot nicer, man. Yeah. The Cardinals bar? Yeah. Willie McGee was my favorite player because he played for the Nashville Sounds.

He did? Yeah. That's probably my favorite player, too, man. Wow. That's cool how about that different generation yours you liked him

because he played major league baseball and you liked him because he was in triple A double A at the time double A Nashville was not

a triple A town at that time I saw him early William McGee probably doesn't remember playing for the sounds Brian got his

autograph when he was in high school Brian and I met just at open mics around town it's all too comedy yeah it's not

it's a small you'll notice it's a very small world yeah comedy is yeah yeah we all just randomly

you end up knowing people usually before you meet them and then you're you just meet them yeah and age difference oh

oh they know we ain't gonna be hanging out I heard once somebody said the difference between comic and non-comic is bigger than the age difference. Oh, I think so. But yeah. I don't know if I worded that pretty poorly. No, no.

I think, I mean, he's older than me. But it's like I've always felt an older comic than him just because I've done it longer than him. And I was in New York, so it's like, absolutely. I go by, your age doesn't even really matter. It's your years that you're in comedy. You're just off comedy years. It's like the age is kind of like, who cares? But it's like, well, I've been doing it 20 years,

and you're like, oh, he's only doing it 10. You're like, wow, that's crazy. And then, so yeah, that is very, very true. I only judge something by the years. And the respect, like, the respect you could give someone is, it's almost like everybody above you is like, there's just a little, you kind of just, there's a lot more respect giving about it. Because it feels like you're elders, even though I could be the same age as half these people or something, but you're like, no, no, no. You've been around for a long time.

There's just respect that you have, and then under you don't. Yeah, I remember that. This is the opposite. Show me respect. It shows zero respect. The message is to Brian. Maybe show the guys that have been doing it a little bit longer an ounce or more, just a little nod to the cap every now and then.

I don't think he got it. I don't think he got it. I remember figuring out Hedberg was – that looks great. Hedberg was like a year younger than me. Mitch Hedberg. Oh, wow. What? No, he's like.

Well, you're much older than him now, so. Yeah. Aaron, could you not. What are you talking about? He's dead. He didn't hear it. He's died. No, I know he died.

Okay. That's the point. He's much older than him now. I get it. Do you? Not everything's a home run, Nate. Show some respect for him. Show some respect.

I'm the elder. You got a good batting average for sure. Yeah, I'm an elder. Sometimes it bounces off the fence. This is solid. I'm on base. I'm on base. You're on base, that's for sure.

I set up later on for later on in the game when stuff happens. Now I'm up to bat. Brian's going to get the RBI right here. Now Brian's going to get hit by a pitch. That's my goal. Lead into the strike zone, Brian. Coach tells him to. Who's up next?

Bates? All right. Crowd the play. Just please let him get hit. Remember, stay into the front of the white line. Get all up in there. Not your elbow, your head. Put your head in there.

Just turn your back. You're not even looking at the ball. You just got your eyes closed expecting the hit. Every time. Oh, golly. Every time. You had to get – did you get hit by a lot of pitches? No, because I was so scared of the ball.

I was standing at the back of the batter's box. I did that too. Yeah, I would do that. Sometimes you get to that. Especially when the kids got – when they started throwing harder, it was – I would get to that. Well, that thing you did with Sonny Gray, I don't think I could do that. Oh, yeah.

Sonny – Did you hit off him? No. I just – he was – we went down to Vanderbilt, and it was when they were about to – like before last season, so he was getting ready to go. And so Sonny was like, just staying in there so I can have like a body that's like staying in there.

I didn't have a bat or anything. And I'm like, Sonny, how do you – you feel amazing, dude. And he goes – I was like, because if you feel even a little like, I don't know. You know, I was like, I don't want to be a part of this. Because you're not wearing a helmet, right? I'm not wearing it. Some context, leads to the major leagues in wild pitches.

Yeah. Right? Oh, yeah. He does? Yeah. So he's not Greg Maddox. He's great. He's not Greg Maddox.

Like, he throws really hard. Yeah. Did he throw a curve where it looked like it was going to hit you? He threw – no, I mean, he – there was nothing. I mean, I was standing. I mean, I trussed in the middle. But it was Coach Stallings. I blanked on his first name.

Brandon? No, his son. Yeah, yeah. He's a catcher. He catches for the Pirates. I know him. I'm just – for some reason, I'm blanking on his name right now. But he was catching, and so they were just, like, pitching.

And they're – it's Stallings. Last name Stallings. Yeah. And then, so – Jacob Stallings. Yeah. Yeah, what are you like? No, it's stallings last name stalling yeah and then so jacob stallings uh yeah yeah what are you like no it's his other son hey come it you know uh no yeah jacob stalls and so uh great and then he huge six five that was a guy that was catching he was catching wow and then uh they so yeah just sent me through it. I mean, it was wild. I remember I told Mike Ushimski.

I'm friends with him, too. Yeah. The guy just ruined my day yesterday. He just hit a home run off the Cardinals in the eighth inning. Into the water. Yeah, in the water. Crushed it. He hit one the other day.

I asked him to – because we were trying to meet up when I was in L.A., and and he was under like he ended up getting under covid restriction or something so i didn't get to see him but uh so we were texting i told him all right he's going out to game as we hit a home run i was like for me and your baby he just had him his wife had a baby and they uh and he goes and he hit when he takes me he goes well i'm glad i did and i was texting him i guess as the game starting. And then he hit a home run. Wow. And I was like, that's crazy. That's fun.

Did he go to Vandy? Yeah. Wow. And then so he – but I remember because during COVID, they would go up there and practice and hit. They'd go to like a high school. I mean, it was like, you know, like, I mean, Sonny's out there pitching. Yashimsi's batting.

Mookie Betts was out there. I mean, it's all these local guys, and they all get together, like Stallons, like a lot of Vandy guys. But I said, you know, Sonny would always be like, come out there. He's like, he goes, you know, take some batting practice. And I told Yaz, he was like, yeah, you got to go. These pitchers ain't going to hit me. And he goes, no, just come out, and it'll be great. I was like, Sonny said he'd't going to hit me. He goes, no, just come out and it'll be great. He spit.

I was like, Sonny said he'd do it. He goes, uh. He goes, uh. He's like, if anybody is going to hit you, it's probably going to be Sonny. No, none of them are going to hit you. I don't know if I'd use this. He's just a true worry. He's like, it's not worth it, dude.

You're not missing anything. Alright. Rachel McLaughlin. I've just passed all my CPA exams, and while Brian and Nate seem to have real accountants, Aaron seems like he may need some help. I'm afraid he's been paying a lot of penalties and interest

for not paying quarterly or filing on time. I mean, there's a good chance I'm doing that, but the good folks at TurboTax got it under control. I got audit control. Audit insurance. So if they audit you, you get... What does under control. I got audit control. Audit insurance. So if they audit you, you get... What does that mean? I don't know.

You're bad. I don't know what happened. You're just buying... What's the saying? They just upsold me. I'm just... Empty bag of something. I don't know.

What's this? You're buying an empty bag of corn. It felt like that. Empty bag of corn. True, Bill. Is it empty or does it have corn in it? I think it does, but it's empty. Oh, okay.

But isn't there a saying that's something like that? Sounds right. Man, I hadn't heard that one. It sounds like a folksy Midwestern saying. Yeah. Yeah.

From our generation. Empty sack of corn. It's probably, there's a saying like that. All right, I'm going to look that up. Corn salesman comes to your door

and you all take it off and you open it. Do you pay quarterly, Greg? I do. Do you buy corn? Yeah. And I,. Do you pay quarterly, Greg? I do. Do you buy corn? Yeah. And, you know, I buy some corn here and there. Yeah.

Yeah, let's make sure we get into how everybody does their taxes. Oh, God. It's a simple question that we've already covered. That's the RBI triple right there. Yeah. That was not. That's right. I mean, that is just immediate.

Somehow he gets, there's only me and him out there, but some of those three outs. You're like, well, how did that happen? And he's a triple play. You go, well, Brian, he got two of them were on him. Ben Rosser, would you rather murder at Madison Square Garden for an entire weekend or shoot a 100 at Augusta National with a foursome of your choosing. Who would the foursome include?

It'd murder at Madison Square Garden for an entire weekend. I mean, that's your career. I mean, shoot 100. I was going to say, can you do that? I think I could shoot 100 there. I'd imagine. I mean, I'd imagine I could shoot 100. That's 36, though.

Oh, yeah. If I can shoot that, look. If it's over the week, if it's two days and I shoot 100 in total in those two days, I'll take that over the murder. That's a legend. I mean, you're talked about forever. You're a legend. Yeah.

You can go do Madison Square Garden for the rest of your life yeah you could just you could do madison's square garden just the guy talking about shooting 100 over two days shoot a 50 50 yeah i mean i don't know how would you break it up i'd almost be like i would want like a you shoot like a 40 on the front 30 like yeah yeah and they're like what uh nate like a 40 on the front side. And they're like, what? Nate shot a 40. He got a little cocky on the second day. You almost can't even break that. 50-50 would be crazy.

You know, I'd want to. You shoot par in the first round. I'd want to. 72. Give me 53. 72. 28. Yeah, give me 53-47.

I don't want it to look fake. I don't want to say it's 50-50. I want to go 53-47. You're like – It's like Kim Jong-un. Yeah. Man, we were – I was in Myrtle Beach last week, and we played this mini golf course, and they said that Jim Kelly,

the quarterback for the Bills, had the course record, and it was 18. Oh, wow. Which is – A hole in one of every hole. Was it nine holes? Yeah. No, it was 18. Maybe it was 22.

Maybe it was nine holes. No, it was... No, I played all 18, man. Yeah. There's no way. Maybe it was like 25. It was something where he was hitting... He got a birdie.

He had to have an ace like every... He had two aces and then a two and then two aces and then a two or something. I think to have an ace like every, you know, like he had two aces and then, you know, a two, and then two aces and a two or something. I think you bought an empty sack of corn. I did, man. I think you did with that story. This thing coming pretty good. Tom Miles, my seven-year-old has taken interest in telling jokes,

but as I'm sure you're aware, seven-year-olds have a hard time being funny when they're trying to be. You're timing. My timing in some sentences are like, what? Like, what is even, as you're doing it, you're like, what am I doing, dude? It's a regular sentence. It's not like a special, we're not introducing a king. When he's not thinking about it and just talking, he's hilarious. But when he tries to tell a joke, he always bombs.

I was wondering if you had any tips for a real young, funny guy that might help him out. I would say just keep being funny the way he's being funny. Yeah, this guy describes. It sounds like all my family members describing my early career in comedy. Yeah, just when he tries, he's just not that good. He's not. Yeah.

It would be, just be funny the way you're funny. And then, you know what? Tell him to be like, start thinking about why you're funny. Maybe that'd be good. Yeah. Like, why are you funny? Because then maybe it would help you figure out a joke. If you go, well, what's making you, you know,

what do you think it is that makes you so funny? I got that advice. This guy, Ron, said, you know, however you're funny around your friends or your family that's probably the guy that you need to be on stage yes yeah yeah so you want to be you so just keep being you and then figure out just keep being you uh and you're already funny, people are laughing. And then, you know, also, if he does something funny to, like, you know, his parents, also do, try to do it to a different group. Try to do that same funny to a different crowd. And don't tell the crowd, the parents.

They don't need to tell your parents. Don't tell them that I'm going to do this, but I'm going to try to do that thing that I did that made y'all laugh. And then when he goes and tries it, like you're saying, then it's like you're going to see, and it might not go good, but you're going to at least be able to tell, okay, why did that not go good? I did something different with this time and this time.

Maybe not put a lot of pressure on the kid at seven. If he wants to stand a chance, Greg. I'd give him a couple. You're right, man. These guys are getting better younger. There's no pressure. Just be funny. I started to be funny.

I was trying to give him one thing to try. You were giving test audiences i go let me do something right now don't get caught up in that crowd work game i go tom come on you gotta be putting out content you're better than that tom you cut it you cut five minutes out of his act yeah i. I go, Tom, you're looking at me. You tell me you got three minutes. I think you got 40 seconds. It's a funny bit, but you're relying on it too much. Basically, me and Greg are saying, Tom, just let me and Greg open for you when you come. Yeah, man.

Yeah, we'd appreciate it. I'll send you a couple of clips. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jared Sharman. Sharman. But it's not like- Sharmanerman paper no well how would you say it that's shower man shower man shower man but not spelled like shower no uh after does anybody you don't think it'd be like shower man and he goes s goes, S-H-O-W-E-R man? And he goes, no, no, it's S-C-H-A-U-E-R. Oh, oh. Sorry, I thought that was the kind of guy that came from money.

The shower man. He's in this era of the shower man fortune. No, I think it's the guy that invented showers. It's a superhero. Jared Shower Man. The shower family that invented showers it's a superhero jared shower man the shower family that invented all showers after listening to the ketchup debate i decided to check the label on my peanut butter jar the label clearly states no refrigeration necessary but because my parents always refrigerated the peanut butter after opening it i couldn't quite pull the trigger

on moving an open jar of peanut butter into the pantry. I have a laugh with the words when I read them, like, open jar of peanut, and I think it's over, and then butter. After that, it was like, well, I didn't see that word coming. And then, like, into the pantry, I'm like, I thought we were done. That's because you're at the end of the line, then you had to jump all the way back to the left. Yes, it is true.

And I go, whoa, we got over here. You got an open jar of peanut, stop. Butter into butter into the pantry and walk on over to the other side i think that's a zone i think i'm prepared for it to be the period to be after moving on open jar of peanut butter and then it's over and so then maybe i'm getting shocked by that into the pantry and i'm like i didn't know we were going to keep going it's a little more on the end it's a little more on the end that you go i wasn't prepared right i need to see going. It's a little more on the end. It's a little more on the end that you go, I wasn't prepared. Right. I need to see where that period's at before I commit.

I convinced myself it was the peanut butter company trying to make the product go bad more quickly so that you would have to buy more. Back into the fridge it went. Does anyone else refrigerate their peanut butter? Or am I just a lunatic? Lunatic? Greg?

I do not refrigerate my peanut butter. My mom did when we were kids, though. Oh, yeah? I mean, I need to come. I did sell peanut butter for 10 years, so I know a little bit about it. Wait, what? You've talked about this. Yeah.

That's true. So, you know, what do you think about it? You sold it? You sold peanut butter? Door to door? No, man. I didn't go door to door.

Yeah. When in your life have you ever seen the peanut butter guy coming door to door? It's from a different time, man. I don't know if that used to happen. Here comes the drift, man. How old do you think I am? You're the milkman. You had the peanut butter guy.

It was you and the milkman. Is it like UPS FedEx now? Yeah. So y'all would see each other. Yeah. Hey, Tom. Yeah. Y'all go eat.

And you're like, that's cool, man. Y'all are friends in real life, though? You're like, yeah, yeah. Like, that's cool, man. Yeah, with him. But I was Jif. The Peter Pan guy was not friends with me. Not friends with me.

Well, the jelly people, you're almost like jelly, because maybe peanut butter seems like it came first over jelly. You're kind of kissing up to them. Yes. Oh, you think jelly's, yeah. You know that's where the, even though you are, you're like peanut butter would be like we're the staple. We're true to what we are.

And in jelly, you're like, I don't love jelly. I think jelly's flashy and all this other stuff, but they're moving. Yeah. It's the future. Yeah. So it's either be friends with them or don't get out of the game. Yeah.

Yeah. Get out of the game. You're not going to change the game. You're not going to change the game. You met a guy that said. Jelly's the future. Yeah. Well,

jelly was, it changed, it changed everything. It did. It changed the game. I would imagine peanut butter was first and it was like, you know, it's good. It's like, is that not right? Oh, no.

I mean. God, they make you really study when you sell peanut butter, huh? Yeah, I mean, you know. People ask these questions. You just don't go selling it. Yeah. You know what's happening. You show up at somebody's doorstep, you better know your stuff.

Yeah. I think nowadays. There was no doorsteps, man. I know. Yeah. It wasn't selling Girl Scout cookies or something man encyclopedias come on i had big accounts big accounts you tie the horse up to the thing i had like inside kroger you know like i am yeah all right yeah man you're kind of belittling what I did.

You got Todd Kroger into buying peanut butter. They were an anti-peanut butter. Go ahead. No, no. Now you sound like my dad. Okay. Who was like, you know, I always had a hard time explaining the job. It was a good job.

Yeah. It was like, you know, paid a lot, and it was a competitive job to get, but my dad was like, well, you know, you're not really in sales. I'm like, yeah, I am. He was like, well, I've been going to the grocery store for 60 years and they've always had Jif peanut butter. Yeah. What do they need you for?

It's not about like whether they carry it or not. It's about how much they sell to their consumer. And there's all kinds of things, dials and switches I can move to help them sell more. And he'd still be like, yeah, you're not in sales. Like the display and such. Display's a big display. Shelf placement. Shelf placement is another. Shelf placement is another. You want to be eye level? You'd like to be eye level. Yeah. You'd like to have a block. You'd like to have a real nice block i don't know why that's funny nate i'm telling you this is important stuff here you know he said you'd like to be like it's just such a serious like if i felt like i was interviewing to be a period i go so we want to be eye level you like to be don't don't expect to be i love you walk

in there you just walk in and say well i mean yeah your new kid on the block don't think you're gonna they're gonna try to throw you show up the first day yeah yeah I mean, yeah. You're a new kid on the block. Don't think you're going to. They're going to try to throw you at the bottom. You show up the first day. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and I saw it in a lot of different places. I mean, Jif, we were brand leader usually. We were.

If you walk into a store today and you see Jif on the bottom shelf, somebody did something to make somebody angry. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Now Pringles, that was a whole. We were, you know. You sold Pringles too.

Yeah. I sold Pringles. So you got out of peanut butter. No, no. I was saying they were the same company. I sold Pringles that was a whole we were you know you sold Pringles yeah I sold Pringles so you got out of peanut butter no no I was saying they were the same company I sold Pringles Jif

Duncan Hines is Pringles considered a potato chip it is you're selling very easy you're selling things that are it's not easy

I mean I think I'm on your dad's team I know you're selling stuff that's like I don't know I swear I went through this

the things that I have to have I went through this but I was like that's like you're selling stuff that's like, I don't know. I swear I went through this. The things that I have to have. I went through this, but I was like. That's like you're selling cocaine. It goes pretty good. People really like it. You go, oh, is it hard to do? No, but I had competitors. You go up against Skippy and see how well you do.

Jif is the main one. It is the main, but it got there through guys like me. Food's on the ground. Food's on the ground. Food's on the ground. Yeah. Shoe leather and knuckles. And now we know who to thank. Yeah.

Okay. When I started, Jif was spelled with a G. I remember, like, at one point I do remember my dad saying this stuff to me, and then I remember at one point thinking, like, you know I'm not a good enough sales guy to convince my father that I'm actually a sales guy. Yeah. That's when you found retire. Yeah.

I was like, yeah, that I remember having that thought and I was making good money. And I remember another time I remember like some, uh, like a homeless guy shaking me down for money on the streets and thinking genuinely like this guy's a much better salesman he's got yeah he's got more charm he's he's got he's more succinct and the way he approaches it and uh i feel like you feel like a peanut butter like you would i wouldn't want him selling peanut butter i want you so yeah you know i know i i had it down i mean i did some pretty big stuff yeah i mean one time uh would you go pick up girls and you're like, you had a little Jif. You gave her, hey, you wrote my number down and you have a Jif pin. And she goes, oh, you work for Jif?

I do remember like when I. I don't like talking about it. I don't like talking about it. Yeah. I do remember one time like. Don't bring my work home with you. Trying to brag about what I did. And, you know, you're in that world where it was the procter and gamble that was

it was the company to go work for yeah and uh talking to some girl and i think she said exactly what aaron said she's like like door to door yeah you go no no it's like getting montreal we get in montreal comedy festival yeah you tell your family and they're like they what yeah how much how much you getting paid yeah and you're like oh no i like, oh, no, I'm paying to go. Yeah. I'm paying to go. Yeah. I'm paying to go.

Yeah, yeah. But like, how would you convince them? What's a sales tactic? Well, I mean, the pure sales tactics I was never all that good with, you know, like the tricks. But I think you just develop a relationship with a buyer. You're making sure they're keeping Jeff. You make sure that the K kroger's keep is happy and then they're because it's like if you get moved out of that i mean you gotta think of it it's he's trying to make me out

to be just some maintenance guy and that's not what i'm a sales guy i would go and say hey you know guys you know why don't we want i know you guys are going to have a a weekly ad and that tends to drive a lot of volume like what back to school you know what's it going to have a weekly ad, and that tends to drive a lot of volume. Like, back to school, what's it going to take for me to be the peanut butter for the back to school ad? That drives a ton of business there. Oh, I can see it. Yeah.

You're the guy that still reads that. Yeah. You know. I mean, I – yeah, and you'd like them to display your product. And, I mean know you just laugh it up aaron how much peanut butter is it it's it's a good product guys like me brought it to you i was just picturing you like doing this to some kid stock at the show that's how you start you start that way they start you at the store level and that was oh do they

yeah man i had to start in the stores and that was tough you start you at the store level. Oh, do they? Yeah, man. I had to start in the stores, and that was tough. You went to college and graduated. I did graduate. And then I'm in a store. And then you're in a store. And what was your degree? Journalism. It's a journalism degree.

And I was in the store. And you only had to pay for your college loan i i i would go there in a company car and you'd go and you have to do these store checks and uh be like hey you know we got this new item simply jif it's uh it's a little healthy little salt little sugar peanut butter targeted towards diabetics and here's some of the things i think here's why i think your consumers will want it. And I just, if you don't, I'll do the work myself. I'll work it in three facings. We'll put the tags up. It'll be here on Thursday. Yeah. And man,

but I had to work against like when you're, when you're Pringles, we had to work like Frito-Lay guys all had money. Frito-Lay guys, they always had, they were bribing. We didn't do that. Oh really? Yeah. I'd go when I first went, I was in Houston and I'd go up there to try to sell Pringles display, and this guy, Pat, Continental Foods, he's like, I'd get two steps. You got any baseball tickets? Like, no, my company doesn't do that.

I can talk to you about a concept about how we can increase your profit margin in the salted snacks category. Frito-Lay gave me baseball tickets. My son loves baseball. You got baseball? I'm like, I don't have baseball tickets. I think you got them. You just aren't going to get, you give them to God.

I mean, I spent a good portion of my time trying to convince this guy. You don't have baseball tickets. That I did not have baseball tickets. Yeah. He thought I was the best poker player in the world. Yeah. That I was just, at some point I was going to be like, you know what, man, I got have baseball tickets. He thought I was the best poker player in the world. At some point, I was going to be like, you know what, man?

I got these baseball tickets. I've been holding out for 18 months, but here, man, you beat me down. I'm going to be honest with you. I've always had baseball tickets. I've never not had baseball tickets. And they're great baseball tickets. He goes, I knew it.

You finally beat me down, man. He goes, I know Frito-Lay's got you up there in the cheap seats. Well, Pringles, we're going to bring you on the field. Yeah. You want batting practice? Yeah. So Pringles, y'all were more proud of your – we're selling a product, and Frito-Lay's like – and you know what? When you look at the product, it're selling a product Frito-Lay's like and you know

what when you look at the product it looks like that Frito-Lay looks like a chip that would be like they don't play by the rules they get quirk they get swirly they get you know they throw barbecue on they have all these kind of different kind of things it's like a very basic chip that's like you're just like making your own thing up out of like the same kind of chip and Pringles to you know is that even consider potato chip pringles but technically we're a crisp it's an extrusion process that you can't call it it was a court case in 1975 we can't call them potato chips yeah they're crisps uh but the frito-lay guys you were there that day you had to argue i was not and i was greg so what

when you were- How old do you guys think I am? He covered it with his journalism. He thinks I'm out selling door-to-door with a briefcase with Beaver Cleaver's dad, and you think I'm in a court case. I usually get all this. I'm so glad you're here. This makes me feel so happy.

Greg, your son is seven from your second wife, and now you're in a court debate with the Pringles and the chip people no no and i don't want to stop me when i'm wrong is it i i know you you have a lot of advertisers on this podcast i don't want to take a shot and stop me but frito-lay they're bullies okay like they they don't have frito-lay okay good all right they were bullies man because we you know they they they pushed us around and uh what frito-lay we focus more on the consumer so we we did we put a lot of our our uh our money into a good tv copy and good advertising for you and see a lot of pringles ads back in the day and the consumer would sort of pull it through the system

whereas frito-lay they put their money into you know like what baseball tickets and shell you know we're going to give you we're going to give you 500 bucks if you give us that shell space when you saw when doritos came out were you like i just gotta get out i was like is that like were they when the doritos came out i was a kid and i was thrilled okay the dorito game stepped up where you go i can't do this anymore and they were out there smoking cigarettes and they're just handing kids Doritos over the playground. You're like, they shouldn't even be hanging out that close to the kids. That's how I feel with Doritos.

It's Doritos like that. I mean, I'm not that old. I do remember I was working in the main office in Cincinnati. I had worked my way up through the sales, and they put me into an assignment in the big office, and somebody sent me, one of our reps sent me, Frito-Lay was running a test market of those things that look just like Pringles. They're stacks, I think they're called. I was the first one in the company to see them.

And I remember taking them down the hall. I don't know why that's funny, man. I mean, this is important stuff. I love the drama of all this. It is dramatic. I'm like into it. Millions of dollars involved here, Aaron. This is a big deal.

There's no irony here, man. I'm into it. Yeah. I mean, I got those stacks, and I took them down to the general manager, who didn't even know who I was. But I was like a celebrity for the next week. You just come in and take your hat off when you walk in, and you go, how you doing?

I go, war dog? He goes, yeah, war dog. He goes, you have war dog here. He goes, you know, I do over there at the, uh, you know,

in between Johnson and, uh, Smith street. I'm right down there. I'm not Kroger right there on that corner. And that Walgreens across the street. Anyway, I just had,

uh, yeah, man, free to lace. And we, and we, we, we,

we went, I like to picture you too. Someone comes in. So the first time you heard about bugle, is what's those chips called bugles so first time you tell me this is true okay so i you guy comes in your first reaction to it goes it goes greg war dog do you hear about the bugle you go the what was that your first reaction you couldn't believe that they were being made oh once again i I was a child. They were already there. I will tell you, Bugles, we were like sort of in the reject group together.

So you have your chips that are delivered directly to the store with trucks, like Frito-Lay trucks, the bag chips because they can't go through the system because they're going to get beat up because they're bags and they get smashed. Then you have what they call warehouse snacks, and that was like the dork aisle they sort of shoved us all if you notice like you have the chip like just aisles full of chips and you got this one aisle full of all the dorks like uh pringles and combos and bugles goldfish all that we were in it's called the warehouse snack aisle now we were kind of the king of the dork isle.

We were the main player over there by far. Yeah. But you still kind of felt like second-class citizen. Wait, who was the first-class citizens? The Frito-Lay guys, the bag chips. Owned by Pepsi. Oh, bag chips. Oh, because you're in a can.

We would ship our product to Kroger's warehouse, and then Kroger would send it out on Kroger trucks with the rest of the groceries, whereas Frito-Lay, they had their own trucks, and they just delivered. So they're in there every day with baseball tickets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all partying. Yeah, yeah.

Hey, Frito! Paul's here! Paul's here! Yeah. Comes in, walking in, just throwing chips at kids, hitting them in the face. I don't, we have too many of them. Don't worry, you know. It's kind of how it was, man.

Was it hard to sell the can over the bag? Like, did people, they go, I want the bag. And you're like, well, we have a can. Well, I mean, our advertising. Oh, you have a, how do you have these? I'm just good. Did you just bring these? Or you knew he he did i've got a few things down here okay i was uh yeah i was part of the team i was there when we launched salt and vinegar we launched it with a pizza licious uh

hold on hold on hold on i want to get let let i like watching you watch you like it you you are we questioning it you like an ad ad read. I thought it was solid. Yeah, he did. I thought it was – you got a little cocky at the end when you threw the paper. That's true. Didn't care for that. Low old school, didn't care for that. I understand that.

You act like you've been there. Yeah, I act like you've been there. That's the kind of confidence I would have brought into Kroger trying to – Sell these guys. That's right. So Pringles, salt and vinegar. The ultimate daily snack. The ultimate.

So you. I was there when we brought it out. The ground floor. Yeah, and I got to admit, that came out with Pizzalicious, and they sort of had salt and vinegar slated. They thought that would be the big hit. Pizzalicious was Pringles? Pizzalicious. So they came out with both. that would be the big hit. Pizzalicious was Pringles?

Pizzalicious. So they came out with both. Yeah, at the same time. I think I would have liked, I think I still would like Pizzalicious. Pizzalicious crushed it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Had a picture of a slice of pizza on there. Yeah, that's a great product with the kids.

We underestimated how well Pizzalicious would do with kids. Now, Greg, let me ask you this. For a product like this that's going to be a hit with the kids kids do you try to put that on the bottom shelf in the grocery store you know it's a good point no i mean you want the block i mean what you're looking for with pringles is a four foot top to bottom block and uh you know back in the old days they'd have the bag chips right picture all the the bag chips and then we would be on the bottom shelf, like where you couldn't even see a space. Where you keep the, like a bleach.

Yeah, dusty down there and stuff. But then- It's like going under someone's sink and you're like, but there's some good chips under there. And you're like, you're not supposed to drink anything under the sink. Yeah. And that's what it felt like. It did feel like that, yeah.

But then, you know, we started going in selling a reset of the section, saying, hey, what if we went top to bottom with the Pringles, and here's some of the – you know, we sold with a lot of data. You know, we got some data that says when they do that. Yeah, yeah, a lot of analytics. Old school. Yeah, we say, hey, you know, your category, your salted snack category is going to go up 30% in margin.

Y'all are like the Moneyball chip. Like y'all were – Yeah, yeah. You're like Money ball in baseball. Yeah. Your first ones use analytics. There's rich companies and there's poor companies. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And there's 50 feet of crap. And then there's Pringles. Wait a minute, man. No, no, no. We weren't that. We were a good company. So was PizzaLicious a big deal for y'all? I think pizza licious

slated right in at like a number five our flavor lineup here's the thing and it's a secret the red can original red can

that you're doing about 80% of the volume in that red can I don't know what's funny about this I mean this is important stuff it's

number five in the flavor lineup yeah so what is which they probably had it slated in a nine when they probably thought it was coming in at a nine you had red can original is 80 of the business yeah okay and then you had uh um what we called right crisp couldn't call it light we did call it light and then they said we couldn't because it wasn't it wasn't low fat enough back then so we had to call it light. We did call it light, and then they said we couldn't because it wasn't low-fat enough back then. So we had to call it right crisp. It was in a silver can.

That was usually the number two. So y'all didn't think about making the chip healthier. You just said we'll just change the name a little bit. I mean, it was healthier. Yeah, it was healthier. It was healthier. I agree. Just not enough.

Not enough. Not enough. I still think it was a smart choice. I mean, you know. And then the green can sour cream and onion. That's a solid, solid flavor. And then Cheezums. Cheezums was probably a number four.

And I'll tell you, and I lose sleep over it even today. We never got the barbecue product right. Yeah. We never got our fair share of the barbecue business. We didn't. And that's a big deal in chips. A go barbecue uh a lot i go barbecue probably the most i would go of something and it's late barbecue right do you eat barbecue pringles no you don't no that's true that's on us man that's that is that is on us that's not on you that's the fact that you guys

uh own i mean i went up to it you own up to it. You own up to it. I will go do more of your barbecue Pringles. Yeah. Out of the, because I know you're trying. Yeah, we tried, man. Yeah. We tried. And we also tried to get into the tortilla chip. Yeah.

You know. How are you going to fit a triangle into a circular thing? Well, we had a triangle can. It was a test market. It was called, it was called Tarangos. And Tarangos, man man it was a very expensive product i think you're paying like six bucks for a can of tarangos and it was it tasted good but it man that thing did not get off the ground yeah tarangos was a horrible thing such a good

triangle there it is there's tarangos yeah there's tarangos it just never took off look who stinks up in the bottom. Fritos. No matter what you type in. Oh, yeah. Pringles Taringo's right here. See that internet search right there? There's baseball tickets involved in that. Yeah.

Somebody got free. Somebody at Google got some free baseball tickets. Someone at Google. I agree. Fritos, you're cheating all the time. Like, it makes me dead gum. But those ones that are the squirrely ones. Oh, the twist? The spirals? Those are unbelievable. It's a dead gum. Those ones that are the squirrely ones. Oh, the twist, the spirals. Those are unbelievable.

It's a good product. It's a good product. You've got to give credit where credit's due. It's a good product. Yeah, you own up. They're doing good things, though. They do. Yeah, I mean, I'll say it when it's true.

In the peanut butter business, I don't care for some of those other products. What about Reese's peanut butter? Yeah, that one got to me, okay? And that one... You got mad at me when I said it. I've discussed it in my act, and I'll discuss it now. Here's the thing about Reese's.

You know, I don't like Peter Pan, and I don't like Skippy. Absolutely. But I respect them, okay? Oh, okay. They were there for a long time. Peter Pan was there in the beginning. Oh, wow.

They were the first national brand peanut butter. Is that a Net Funichella? Skippy was a Net Funichella. Okay. Okay. Skippy was there in the beginning. All right. Reese's just jumped in the game.

And I'm sure they were thinking, hey, we're a peanut butter. We're a candy bar that has peanut butter as a main ingredient. How hard could it be to be a peanut butter, we're a candy bar that has peanut butter as a main ingredient. How hard could it be to be just peanut butter? Real hard. Yeah. Okay, real hard. Yeah.

When it's not made focused. Yeah, you're going to find out what it's like to stand on your, there's no chocolate to hide behind over here. We're not playing, we're feeding families in this aisle, okay? The people are going to work with this product, okay? You just be a candy bar that's what you are yeah you don't see ring pop trying to get the jewelry business okay it's a thing it's you know it's a profit you're hiding behind you're right man you're

right nate yeah yeah yeah this is peanut butter you're a tribute band you come out while you write your own song yeah exactly, exactly. You can't. Peanut butter, we're on our own. You're writing on someone else's class. We're right here. We're right here, man. It's all we got. And we're happy to do it. Yeah.

So, yeah. But, yeah, I like Frito. I mean, we tried to get in the corn chip business, too. Didn't go well. Yeah. I don't know if we had, like, I don't even know what they were called. It was white popcorn flavored Pringles. We had corn flavored Pringles.

And I'm not going to lie. I had to go pick up some of those. You know, I did. No, that's a new one there. That's way, way ahead. I mean, you probably won't even find one. No, no, no, that's not it. Corn crisp, there they are.

Right there. I picked, I was, I had to pick up some of that. You know, like. Did you have a company car? I had a company car. You're kind of like a guy carrying like, you know, an architecture, like has all those long things out. Yes, yes.

Those long tubes. You want to be defeated. Yeah. Yeah, because the store's like, hey, man. You just throw it in the back of your truck. Yeah, it's a bad day. You throw it in the back of your truck. Yeah. It's a bad day. You throw it in the back of your truck, your car in the trunk.

I got a Ford Taurus and big trunks in there. And yeah, when the store's like, hey, you got to get out of here and get rid of these things, man. They're not selling. Yeah. You're like, I will mark them down. They go, they're marked down. They are marked down.

They are marked down. We're not even, if people steal them, we don't stop them. And they're just not moving. We let them, if they steal something, we go, you got to also steal these chips. And they bring the thing they stole back. It is. It's a tough pill to swallow. It's part of the business.

It's part of the business. Yeah. It's why you get in it. It's like a comic. You have a few bad sets. Now you own it. When you do that, you have to go out there to that store and pick it up. Now it's part of you.

It's made you better. Yeah. It makes you – now you're a full-time sales rep. Anytime you ever see that, you would just be like – Yeah. Makes you appreciate the wins more, doesn't it? It does, man. It does.

Yeah. You see it. You're just like, spend a weekend there one month. Right. Yeah. Biggest loss I was involved with was – and I'm sure you guys remember this product. It was going to change our whole company. Fat-free Pringles with Olestra.

It was a fake fat substitute, and we were going to make billions off of that, and it didn't go well. You put everything behind it. Everything. Yeah, it didn't go well so much that I don't know what you're talking about. You come from the world of going like, you're probably going to know about it. Well, Lester got a lot of media coverage because they had to put a warning on the can about some… Side effects? Side effects with your stomach.

It was terrible. It's time of age now. You can't just eat chips like the old days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to go, yeah, dude, you're going to feel it. Yeah, we did. We did. it's time time and age now can't just eat chips like the old days yeah yeah you gotta go yeah dude it's gonna you're gonna feel

yeah we did we did yeah do you know everything about potato chips no no I'm not saying that I've been out of the game

I'm not gonna lie to you Brian I I could I could I could jump into the chip game probably give me two weeks and I'm back there

selling chips you think quicker than peanut butter no peanut butter? No, peanut butter, that was my go. That was your jam. You get tomorrow. Yeah, yeah. Now the one I'll admit that passed me by is coffee.

Like we sold Folgers and now with all this Keurig stuff, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. What's your price on Keurig? You talking about Percolator? You talking about Auto Drip? No, it's Keurig. Yeah. Well, I don't even know what the price points you don't even know yeah yeah i understand feel feel like

i don't know feel old walking down that aisle yeah we had uh on here a few months ago big debate about what goes in the refrigerator what can leave out as far as condiments ketchup butter i don't think we ever answered so peanut butter what do you do you use? I mean, personally, as a consumer, I just don't think if you put it in the refrigerator, it doesn't spread well on the bread. It tears your bread. Yeah. Yeah. I guess if you had like a real, like a seven, like Dave's killer bread or like a seven grain

whole grain toast. Yeah. That can handle it. Yeah. That maybe could take that. Maybe eating off a table. Yeah. But I, and my mom liked putting it in the refrigerator.

Obviously, I love my mom, but that's one of the few things that I don't do that she did. You disagreed with the way she did the peanut butter. Y'all fought about it. We fight about it. In New York City, y'all fought about it at a bar. Your mom's like, what are you going to do about that peanut butter? I mean, when we were in her house, I respected the rules. I'm just saying, at my house.

I feel like your mom came over and just a little shot at her. She gives peanut butter out. She goes, why is that peanut butter out? You go, you do you? Yeah, I'm a grown man now. I'm a grown man now. Yeah. And also, I'd sell this product.

Yeah. Yeah. And we're not supposed to put that in the refrigerator. What about regular butter? Well, that's got to be. You got to put that in the refrigerator, right? You would think. You would think.

You can store a dairy product out of there for how long? Up to a month, according to this. In a butter dish. Does anybody do that? Ours is, no, Laura keeps ours cold. But it's, but I mean, when you spread cold, it's like brutal. It's a nightmare. Yeah, I guess it is.

If you're eating butter every morning, if you're eating that much butter, I would leave a stick out. If you're like, I'm eating every morning, I have a piece of toast, I put butter on it, I think you leave it out. If you're eating that much butter, you don't have a lot of time left anyway. You do whatever you want. You're not going to make it. That butter's going to make it longer than you are now i don't know if it the difference between

salted salt this is salted butter has less of a chance of spoiling on the counter than unsalted butter that makes sense yeah i don't even know what butter has salt and what doesn't i just usually says it on it says i mean i do some baking so it's um usually the recipe will call for you know unsalted or salted butter. Did you have some days when you came home and you're just like, just, I mean, throw your jacket against the couch, you're like, he's Pringle. Yeah. Just like these days of going, you know, you're like.

Oh, I got beat up, man. Free to lay, guys. Yeah. Because what happened? You got a black guy, you got a mental, dumb, free to lay guys. Yeah, man. They don't care about anything. And the worst was when itLay guys. Yeah, man. They don't care about anything.

And the worst was when it was on me. Yeah. Like when I made a mistake. Like we ran Crisco 64-ounce oil on an ad at Fiesta Marts. In Houston, Texas. It caters to Hispanics. And it's a giant grocery store. There's like 50 of them. And I got this ad for, you know, 64 ounce oil.

Yeah. And the warehouse that they pulled from ran out and it was my fault. And I had to go home. Because you read the ad. Because I ran the ad and I was also the one calling on the warehouse. And they had some goofy numbers in there that I was supposed to keep my eye on. Yeah. It wasn't real inventory.

And I just looked at it as real inventory. And they told me these are goofy numbers. And I just took my eye off the ball and, you know, they ran that and they probably substituted my competitor. They probably gave him Wesson instead. And, uh, it could have been a career making moment. And, uh, and I ate that one that was on, there's nobody to blame on that one, but me, like I screwed it up. Yeah. It was awful. That was on you. That was on you. There's nobody to blame on that one but me. Like, I screwed it up. War dog. Made a mistake.

It was awful. It was a terrible feeling. And you still keep chipping at night. Nah, I wouldn't say that. But I mean, I... You know, there's a lot of families out there doing Weston. You go, I think I could have brought them over. Could have been me.

I could have. Crisco could have. Crisco could have. There should be a Crisco family or not. And at the time time the puritan was under the crisco uh yeah label so you know yeah um yeah canola oil so what was y'all's main thing if pringles and you have all these other things well here's the thing man we were kind of like the stepchild behind scenes stepchild uh yeah division i mean we're not for peanut butter

you're the big dogs we were but within my peanut butter was with pringles too yeah i was the food beverage rep so we had you know all the food beverage and uh but for all the divisions we were the stick because their other divisions was tied i mean you know how much tied downy charman bounty crest uh pampers those people look down yeah baby yeah they look down on you old spice Yeah kids Yeah they looked down on you Old Spice They kind of did Yeah They kind of

And those guys Kind of pushed them around Yeah And they took it out on us Yeah You know Because we weren't the big deal Yeah

And now Duncan Hines That was a brand I had And what is Duncan Hines? Cake mix Oh What is Duncan Hines? I just bought a cake

I don't know So this is all These are the Procter & Gamble Brands right here I didn is all these are the Procter & Gamble brands right here I didn't even I thought Procter & Gamble was like an insurance company I thought

I thought I heard about it I had no idea what Procter & Gamble was you recognize some of those brands Nate yeah they're doing a great job I mean

yeah I thought I thought Procter & Gamble was like something one of those things they have on Wall Street where they got all the money. They stole the money from them.

Like Goldman Sachs. Yeah, you're like Procter & Gamble. P&G, those crooks. Are you kidding me, dude? Everything. And I don't even know. Tide's not even on there, and that's the biggest brand. Tide is like a Fortune 50 company by itself.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, Tide's huge. So if you, I mean, so yourself yourself would you have wanted to get to the tide or it's hard to get up no you don't want i didn't want to be in there you know i was i was proud to be where i was and i was and i was passionate about it proud of what you do and the company doesn't even have those brands anymore they're all spun off it's sort of oh head and shoulders yeah yeah loves yeah it was not us loves isn't us so it's interesting so when it shows you this it's like project gamble's like thing yeah food's not even't us. So it's interesting. So when it shows you this, it's like Procter & Gamble's thing.

Yeah, food's not even really on there because it's just food's not. I remember working for, when I worked for FedEx. Yeah. And you would say, who's your, like, you know, I was like, oh, it's our competition, like, UPS. Yeah. And our post, and they're like, no. I mean, it was either UPS or the post. They're like, they're so far ahead.

FedEx was? No, no. They were above FedEx. UPS was? I think so. Really? I think it was like, they've been around, I think, forever or something. And it was like, there's just so much.

I think that's what it was. And then it was like DHL was like coming. It was new. I remember them. Yeah, yeah. So you heard about DHL and you heard about the – you know, I was on FedEx trucks. I was in New York delivering FedEx. Were you?

Yeah. And you see the DHL guys show up in their yellow shirts or something. You know, these guys just ringing all the doorbells, just trying to get in. Wannabes. Wannabes. They weren't us. I agree. I took pride on it.

Yeah, man. Yeah. Well, yeah. Well, they're close. They seem close now.

I want to say, maybe it's the regular postal service too. Was like, did still did a lot. Yeah. The USPS. Yeah. Yeah. They do some business, man. Did still did a lot. Yeah, the USPS. Yeah, they do some business, man. Did you sell jellies or jams?

No, we never got into that business. However, Jif is currently owned by Smuckers. Wow. Smuckers came in. Yeah, yeah. So, I mean. Now you're in it. Not a bad group to get together with.

Yeah, I mean, I think it's borderline monopoly. That is true. Yeah, yeah. If they get a hold of bread. Yeah, we're get together with. Yeah. I mean, I think it's borderline monopoly. That is true. Yeah. If they get a hold of bread. Yeah. We're in big trouble. Yeah. So those are real companies, but then it's a dynasty.

What's that? That would be a dynasty, right? Like a monopoly. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. Well, then you start going and you start looking at Tide and you go. You have to break it up.

You'd be catching Tide. You get bread, peanut butter, and jelly? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, Tide's big, man. Procter & Gamble's huge. I mean, some of those health and beauty brands, like Crest. Crest is a monster.

Scope. They had Crest and Scope, man. That's, I mean, that's. Oh, Procter & Gamble did? Yeah. Always. Yeah, they have everything. Olay.

Head and Shoulders. NyQuil. NyQuil. NyQuil. Bounty and Charmin. Bounty and Charmin are monsters. But I mean, the one that I'm not – Pampers. Yeah, Pampers. Pampers.

I'm sure you're figuring that out. That's an – And we used to get like a lot of free product, you know, the new stuff. So the guy – anybody like on our team that had a newborn, the paper guy would take care of them. Oh, that's awesome. They'd give them like Pampers for the next. So no baseball tickets,

but. Well, but I mean, for themselves, we take care of each other. We take care of each other at Procter and Gamble, which is why we're, where we're at.

Yeah. And where you're at. I like Procter and Gamble. So they make all those products. They were an investment firm. People can learn, man. That's what this whole thing's about. It's about learning.

That's fair enough. I'm going to try to get a job there. I thought Procter & Gamble was bad. Turns out it's my favorite thing. Oh, look at this. Yeah, man. They got Dawn. They got Pantene.

Pantene. They got Tide, and they also have G, because they're doing so good that they go, we might as well throw another one in. Gain is a little bit of trickery in my book. It's very aromatic. Like, there's a lot of sort of perfume put in Gain. It's probably like one of the ex-wives, maybe. You know, you feel like one of the, I don't know who, Procter or Gamble,

but someone is, you know, you feel like one of the, I don't know who, Proctor or Gamble, but someone is, you know, someone got, goes, well, I want to make my own. He goes, go make your own. Just do it. Just do it. Maybe a kid. He's like, just make your own. I call it gain. They go, yeah, yeah, gain's fine.

I see what you're saying. Like a producer whose girlfriend wants to be in a movie or something like that. Yeah. And he's like, you know, Dr. Proctor just don't even yeah they're like they go gang you know they go we i don't even know how much we got and it's a billion dollar company let me tell you that they go that's the least one that matters and it's a billion dollars yeah yeah and pantene that's the one That They started Showing like Apparently What Why that took off

Is they They showed the commercials With like Vitamins going in People's hair Yeah Then it just went People thought they were

Getting vitamins in their hair Yeah It did look like that Yeah Seinfeld episode Oh really Kramer's The girl Jerry was dating

And then Kramer Fell in love with her Yeah He's like I smell Pantene Yeah Yeah I do remember that Yeah Yeah Yep The girl Jerry was dating and then Kramer fell in love with her. He's like, I smell Pantene. Yeah. Yeah.

I do remember that. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. So I don't understand. Procter & Gamble, they own all these companies? Yeah. Why do they need Procter & Gamble?

They don't. That's why Nate really didn't know what it was. They kind of stepped, that name is sort of stepped back. They're more about their brands. But yeah, they own all those brands. Yeah. They're the creator of all those brands. Yeah. Unilever is the other big one, right? Unilever is a competitor. Okay.

Unilever is a Dutch company. So is Procter & Gamble a, was it a two people or something? Started in the soap and candle business. Yeah. Back in the 1800s. So it was just two guys make soap and candles. Yeah. And then was just two guys make soap and candles. Yeah.

And then slowly just went into like, and their company gets so big that they're like, let's try food. Yeah. And they're just like crushing it. Yeah. Now some of them, like Pringles, I believe they created. Yeah. But then like a GIF, I believe they created. Then a couple of brands they bought. Yeah.

They buy and sell brands too. Yeah. Like Gillette up there, they bought that brand. They didn't create it. That's very interesting. I had no idea what the proper name was. It's one of the most powerful. Giant company.

They run everything. They can just stop. Pepsi's another one like that. Pepsi owns Frito-Lay. I'm a Pepsi guy. Really? Yeah. I'm a Pepsi. You would think I'm a Coke guy. Yeah. Really? Yeah. I'm a Pepsi.

You would think I'm a Coke guy. I think I would appreciate the Coke people more. Yeah, culturally you're a Coke guy. Culturally I'm a Coke guy in my heart. Because you're a southerner. Greatest average American. Greatest average American. But I can definitely see Frito-Lay and Pepsi getting together. Oh, they are, man.

It's a lot. I think when you go out are, man. You know, it's a lot. I think when you go out with them, you're like, it's a lot. Well, when you – you know, when we found out that they were trying to go after Pringles with that Stax business, which, by the way, it's still out there. It hadn't touched us. It never caught on. Yeah. But what we did is – and I went down there with my friend tim snyder and this guy will from the brand we all

went out to cedar rapids i which was where the test market is and we went uh to the coke guys the coke distributor like hey man these guys are trying to you know mess with us what can we do to get together and scare them a little bit and we started running all these promotions uh just to send a message like we're not gonna go down easy on this we ran like all crazy promotions and those one of those guys roger who ran the coke uh distributor shit over there he's still he's still like my my but he comes to shows oh wow roger still comes to show and y'all y'all put a little warning shot and we did in freedom and we weren't supposed to uh we you're not supposed to mess with test markets yeah it's sort of an uh sort of like an agreement but aren't this guy f Fernando, who was in charge of the brand, was like, I don't care.

Because the test market people, we pay them a ton of money to run test markets. He's like, what are they going to do? Not take our money. Do whatever you want down there. And we sent a message, man. And test markets, so you're running commercials that only they see and food that only they. Yeah, yeah. Like it's at the grocery stores.

You act like it's everywhere in the world. Yeah. But a test market – so people could move specifically and they're like, oh, I'm in a test market. Yeah. I mean, Peoria was the – Would you move there for – I mean – You hear that they're rolling out some new flavors of Pringles

and you move the family there. No, I'm just saying – No, you've got a problem. But if you know like if Cedar Rapids Island was a big test market, I mean, I think you could have some fun. Yeah, you would. You would. And I can't remember.

You're trying everything. I don't know what the IRI, it's IRI is the company. I don't know what their test markets are. There's one up in, back in the day, there was one up in New England. I can't remember where they were. I think CR was one of them. And that was, yeah, man. I mean, we, i remember we rented the

world's largest barbecue pit and we just went to a grocery store and uh handed out free barbecue sandwiches with every coke if you bought coke and bring us together just i mean you gotta imagine if you live in cedar rapids like uh you would think you gotta you're you're part of the culture yeah your city that takes what everybody else is going to do. Pittsfield, Mass. I did a show there once. Pittsfield, Mass is a giant IRI test market. I remember that for some reason.

Is it like one grocery store? Is it all? No, it's all the stores. It's everything. All the convenience stores, everything. So if you want, so like if someone's like, so if you ever drive, if you're living Pittsfield or if you're driving through Pittsfield, it's like, go stop at their grocery store. You're going to see some stuff.

Oh, yeah, man. You'll see some stuff. Yeah, you'll see stuff. You'll see Tarangos, and nobody else will ever see them. Yeah. Oh, wow. Pittsfield, Massachusetts, where I did my show, lost 500 bucks. Oh, really?

I talked about it. I'll tell you about it later, but I've told them. So you said you could get back in the Jif game today. I think so. There's nine different kinds the Jif game today. I think so. There's nine different kinds of Jif peanut butter. Yeah, man, they got some garbage going now.

I was going to say, I can tell you, you know, I can tell you that the creamy is the big one and the creamy outsells crunchy four or five to one. Does it really? I like crunchy too. Yeah.

They cost the same. They do. They do. Really? They do. I would think. I mean, I've talked about this a little bit in my act.

I've discussed. I never felt good about that because if you think about it, the crunchy, we didn't finish making that. You know, like there's less labor that goes into it. It should be cheaper. It should be cheaper. It should be cheaper, yeah. Crunchy, you know, of course you got crunchy. Simply Jif, which I talked about.

I think that's only in creamy these days yeah uh reduce fat jif you're nailing it that's four reduce fat jif now these were the products that i dealt with okay we now not today uh the way the kids today i love the way you say it these are the products i dealt with okay now today there, today, they have a honey-roasted Jif, I think, at this point. They have a- You know what they're doing. You keep up with it. I'm not going to say I don't walk by the aisle.

The grocery store is my life for 10 years. I'm not going to just walk by that. I respect that. Yeah. No, yeah. You're aware of what's going on. Yeah. Do you wish you lived in a test market?

I think it would be pretty fun yeah i think i think you like you said you would know you would see some stuff yeah that you'd never seen before yeah i still remember man there's this one comic um jp madison he's one of those guys he was so funny naturally funny in cincinnati when i was working proctor and gamble and jp man the guy just at the time did not have a nickel, just had no money, no money. But he's one of those guys that like, he had so much confidence. And he's one of those guys that you're like, I think he may be famous, man. You know, like he always had to figure it out.

But I remember I had this product called Pop'ems. It was like a corn snack. And it was like the little Mr. Pringle and in the shape of like it was kind of going at fritos okay and uh i don't know if i see him on there no they didn't make it out of test market but uh i had a bunch of them i was like jp doesn't have a lot of money you know he's just always struggling so i go hey man you know we're driving to a gig or something i gave him he's like greg these things ain't going to sell. I was like, truly?

The guy had no money. I was loaning money. These things ain't going to sell, Greg. He knew. Yeah, he knew, man. He knew. That's awesome. Well, Nate said that you could leave ketchup out.

You don't have to put it in the refrigerator. I don't put ketchup in the refrigerator. Yeah, I don't really eat ketchup. He's right. You can leave it out for up to a month. You can leave mustard out for up to two months. Really? We leave ketchup out way longer than a month.

Yeah. We leave it out the whole time. I mean, I'm a mustard fan. Yeah. You got to bring out these props. Oh, look at that. My wife ordered this for me. So do you guys know the best way to pour ketchup?

I do. Upside down, preferably? No, right on the 57. You say it. You do that. Tap the 57. All right, what do you think? The best way to pour ketchup? Yeah.

You just bongo. No, you hit the 57. No, you hit. I'll show you. You hit these 57s. Those? You hit the numbers. So you go like this, and you hit that number.

You don't tap that. That's a label. Greg. You don't. Is that right? He's right. Yeah. Why are you pouring ketchup so delicately?

No, it makes it come out. It comes out faster. It comes out faster. Is this a problem in y'all's lives? No, because we're not gorillas. Just like you're going to makes it come out it comes out fast it comes out faster because is this a problem in y'all's yeah lives no because we're not gorillas just like you're gonna shatter the bottom you got you can't ever the bottle let me tell you something you do it like this if you hit a ketchup bottle from the bottom it's going up and down and if it shoots out the wrong time your white tux ruined yeah so if anybody has a glass bottle if you ever go to a diner man i didn't know that you hit it with your that's perfect hand right on the 57s and it just do you know there was never

57 varieties yeah i do know the guy like basically he he was at a shoe store in new york and it said 21 varieties of shoes and he thought that sounded cool so he said we're gonna have 57 varieties of ketchup yeah and they're never worse I mean has there been like eight says 57 varieties yeah yeah has there ever been even a lot of varieties I don't think so you know Joe DiMaggio when he hit 56 games in a row yeah hitting street yeah Heinz 57 said if you get to 57 we'll give you a ton of money and we'll do this big ad campaign around 57. He jinxed him, man. He ended at 56. That's probably – he might have done it on purpose.

How many did Ripken – or no, that was – He did Game Started. Okay. Heinz, 2,131. Did Pete Rose break DiMaggio's record? No, nobody's – He has the most in the National League, like 44. Okay.

There was a TikTok video, a couple TikTok videos, showing the proper way to dip fries in ketchup packets. Do you know this? No. Do you have that? Maybe. Let me see the packet. I think I know.

Oh, I don't know. See if intuition kicks in. If you just tear it here and then you just do that, then I'm wrong. Then I don't know. So we're looking at, if you're just listening, we're looking at, I mean, obviously, packets of ketchup. This is this guy driving a car, and he's like, I don't even know what's happening anymore. I always act like we're talking about real complicated things. And the audience is like, yeah, dude, I can ballpark it.

There's not a globe in there. Contextually. Looks like it may not be loading. Is it up? It just took a second. We've got our french fry hack right here. Yeah.

What do you do? That guy's out of Cleveland. We taught her to drive through. We taught her to take the ketchup packet What do you do? That guy's out of Cleveland. Yeah. Oh. Tear it down the side. Tear it down the side, and then it opens up as a little pouch. Yeah. I'm not sure I'm going to trust anybody whose fingernails are painted like watermelons. You ever put mustard on watermelon?

On watermelon? Mustard on watermelon mustard on watermelon really yeah those are two things that i really enjoy yeah but not together are they is it bad it's there's this was a trend on tiktok to put mustard on watermelon everybody try everybody says it's amazing yeah real something about it's because kids are bored and they're yeah i mean and they're just they're like you try it a whirl. That's because kids are bored. Yeah. I mean, and they're just, they're like, you try it, it's unbelievable. And there's a conversation piece, and you're like, this one year of college ruined. I'd never heard.

That's basically what happens. And now they're sophomores. Even, what was freshman you got? We did the watermelon thing. The watermelon challenge. I did the watermelon thing, did dance. I got on my moving car, did dance. And then I ate watermelon mussel.

And then I was a sophomore. And then we did a bunch of stuff when I was a sophomore. Then I figured out AI could write my paper. And I mean, I was just home. I just did a bunch of stuff on after that. I'd never heard, apparently

this is a thing that Frosty, Dipping Frosty, I mean, Wendy's fries and frosty. Yeah, I've heard of that. I do that. You do? Yeah. I think it's something everyone just discovers organically. You know, you got the fry, you get the frosty.

You're like, let's mix it up. I think I heard rumblings. Oh, really? I think I heard about it. I was, you know, maybe on the wrong side of the tracks. Hanging out with the wrong crowd. Yeah. And I was, yeah, I don't want my parents to find out I knew about it.

I was like, I heard about it in church. That's what I said. That's the thing, man. There we go. Well, I guess it's okay if you heard about it in church. So, Greg, we're big Vandy fans. Is it true the Vanderbilt Commodore invented the potato chip? Ooh.

No. Yeah, here's what happened. It's not true, but the story goes that in saratoga uh there was this restaurant it was a something house or something like that and uh apparently the commodore mr vanderbilt yeah uh was there and he said he ordered french fries and they brought out steak fries and he said i'll make them thinner and they sent it back to this guy and he's like all right and he cut them in half and he went out there he goes make them thinner and then he's like nope and that time when he sent him back the guy got mad and he uh he fried those uh he took the thinnest shaving of potato he could deep fried it in oil

and over salted it send it back to the commodore and he was like yeah this is good he did it to make him mad like he did it to be like i'll show you and the commodore was like yeah these are good now here's the thing the commodore was in europe during that summer that this wasn't the commodore and there's like three different people it did happen up at that house did you know did you did they let your office know he was out of the office? Did you call? Did you call the office? Greg, did you call the office and he goes, I'm in Europe? And that's why you know for a fact that he was in Europe during this time. I don't think that you honestly think I'm the same age as Commodore.

I mean, honestly, I think he's a little younger. I'm going to be honest with you. Greg, I'm going to come up front with you. Please stay every week. I mean, this is just not even fathomable. This is what I get every week. I'm not as old as Gloria Vanderbilt, who was his great-great-granddaughter or something like that.

I may not be the same age as Anderson Cooper, who was Gloria Vanderbilt's son. So we don't know where the French are. It came from that area, but there's probably, it's moon's roadhouse or something like that but it there's it probably came from that restaurant and it may have been that cook's sister uh and then there's another cook across town it came from that generally now the guy that they said that did that to the commodore um he probably did it to somebody just not the commodore and that guy kind of did that to the Commodore, he probably did it to somebody, just not the Commodore. And that guy kind of took chips to another level because he opened his own place and he had chips as appetizers on every – when you walked in, there was a basket of chips on every –

Wow. Yeah. And so that guy became rich. Yeah, he did pretty well for himself. Although he was like the first celebrity chef apparently in the US. Wow. for himself although there he was like the first celebrity chef apparently in the u.s and there's it's it's kind of like a little hazy because if you look if you look like in his eulogy they barely mentioned potato chips and there's like later the story became he was the potato chip king yeah they were called saratoga chips because it was in saratoga springs new york where this

something happened up yeah now there was some british guy that in a cookbook you know 100 years before that listed something that looked a whole lot like potato chips yeah that's it you just posted a video about dipping dots yeah they were invented in 1988 the reason they haven't taken off is because you have to freeze them so cold they have to be 40 degrees below zero and grocery stores just don't have ice cream dry ice you have to have them so cold. They have to be 40 degrees below zero, and grocery stores just don't have- Ice cream in the future. Dry ice. You have to have dry ice for it. Well, you got to be 40 degrees below zero, whatever that takes.

Only sporting events and concerts that I remember them ever being available. But they should do it. Dippin' Dots should do- I love Dippin' Dots so much. That's a great product. Great product. And I thought- I mean, Dippin' Dots is my product that I thought, when I first saw them, I go, well,

move over, ice cream. You look ridiculous now. Because this is the future of ice cream, which they said, and I bought Sink, Lime, and Hooker. They said it for like 30 years. I was in, though. You would have bought stocks in them? Oh, if I even knew what stocks, I still don't know what they are,

but I would do it. And I loved them so much, and I still do. I think they're so great. When I see them, they're at Bucky's. Every time I see them, I grab them. Oh, man, we drove by a Bucky's

yesterday. Yeah. Biggest thing I've ever seen. Yeah, it's huge. You gotta go, man. And so,

every time I see Dippin' Dots, I always buy some. I think they commented on my Instagram, maybe, or something, but I'm a giant Dippin' Dots fan. Yeah,

it's a good product. And it's, I think they could be, it's, when they get frozen, like, together, you really need them in the tub to be kind think they could be, it's, when they get frozen like together, you really need them in the tub

to be kind of mixed up a little bit and then when they get put in, it's better. Like, I feel like when they're in a small thing, like they're the best

out of the tub that they come in. And so, it's really a product that's made to be sold at sporting events. Live events, yeah. But I think they should,

I think they should step that up a notch and they should really be like, well, y'all need to really be everywhere and you need to, think dipping nuts should have me go in and go you don't need ice cream gets melty it gets stuck like it's falling all over the place yeah it's not what we do at dipping nuts you know and i think i would be a good

sports person i mean i'd like to i'd like to be part of that with you because i mean that's with pringles man we were saying hey you know you get your hand in that in that bag you're gonna get greasy yeah you know and and and the portability is why the can is the big deal. You can take it anywhere. Anywhere. Same thing here. I don't like a soupy ice cream. Yeah.

It makes me sick. Yeah. I like it. Yeah. Well, we should do that. Yeah, I'd like to be part of that. Dippin' Dots, if you need me and Greg, I mean, one guy. You've got the connections.

Yeah. I'm not saying I can't. He was there the day the Fry got invented. I can't, man. I just think you're a little off on some of my age. I don't know how much, though. But I think me and you would be a great team for Dippin' Dots. Yeah, I'd like to be part of it.

We know how to get stuff working. Yeah, I'm not saying I have the – I have probably a lot of the guys that I was calling on are out of the business, but I do have – I know – Like Morty Seinfeld? Selling raincoats? Yeah, selling raincoats, yeah. We're still selling.

All right, we got to go. This is a quick one. Thank you, everybody. We'll be in Woodstock, Georgiaia may 26 may 26 chattanooga austin cleveland indianapolis wow uh come see me yeah go look aaron weber's website see ai biography yeah what's uh uh flaredy's in june and that's a cool place yeah that is a great big big club that's an awesome club. And check out Greg Warren.

Yeah. His website's got all the dates. Again, super funny. Yeah. Great to have you, buddy. Yeah, thanks, guys. This is a ball, man. Yeah.

All right. We love you. Thank you very much, everybody. See you. See you. nateland is produced by nateland productions and by me nate bargetzi and my wife lara on the all things comedy network recording and editing for the show is done by genovations media thanks for tuning in be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.