The Nateland Podcast - Second Best - The Best-Of Episode Pt. 2

Episode Date: July 27, 2022

Hello Folks! Can you believe this month marks two years since we launched the Nateland Podcast? This week, we're looking back at some of the funniest moments, memorable mispronunciations and surprise announcements that made year two so special.    Podcast produced by Nate & Laura Bargatze Recording & Editing by Genovations Media https://www.natebargatze.com https://www.allthingscomedy.com https://www.genovationsmedia.com Email - [e-mail]

uh welcome everybody you know i've debated of changing uh seeing people talk about changing what to let's go folks is that not maybe better let's go folks yeah it's like i feel like it gets us out of the mix of everybody being hello folks like every people say hello folks folks yeah just as a normal expression as a normal expression. As a normal expression. And I mean, I've had people say, hello folks. I mean, cause there's been a couple of times someone said, someone said it.

And then I think like they're saying it to us and then you're like, oh, they're just, that's just how the guy speaks. Yeah. So you want to do let's go. Let's go folks. Cause we're making fun of let's go.

No. Yeah. I mean, that's not bad. I'm on board. People are commenting. Let's go everywhere now. Yeah. after last week's episode so yeah i feel like we can't see what everybody uh see what everybody thinks about see how it feels see how it feels let's go folks uh welcome

everybody to the podcast uh i started with the let's. I don't know if that's going to be the... I mean, truthfully, all this being said, I do think I get to decide what I want to say. I mean, that is true. So I enjoy talking about it and being in the mix. How did it feel just now? Let's go, folks. It feels great.

I like it. I like it i like the specific it's uh we did what you threw a poll up on the instagram and twitter and so what what were the to let's go and hello folks here's the instagram results 1400 people uh oh, I mean, over 2,000 people voted. 62% hello, folks. 38% let's go, folks. What I would say is a lot of this is it's people that don't want change. Yeah. And that's, you know, Laura, you know who over here? People that are stuck in their ways.

All three of our Ys voted for hello, folks. Oh, did they really? Yeah. Yeah. Did they listen to it? That's the thing, too. Did people listen to the... And hear the explanation and hear the context for it?

Yeah, and everything. I don't know if Laura did. Yeah, Laura doesn't. Here's the Twitter. Hello, folks. Same thing. Everybody still likes hello, folks, because we've been doing hello, folks. Hello, folks. Same thing. Everybody still likes hello, folks, because we've been doing hello, folks. Hello, folks.

I'm not saying I'm against. I like hello, folks. I think let's go, folks, is just stands out more. Yeah. I think that's it's different. Hello, folks, is we're just saying the same greeting that's been said for 100 years yeah right you think well a lot of it is in the the inflection that you do it i think that is unique in a way let's go how many people well well the hell even hello folks hello hello folks yeah i mean who talks

like that yeah yeah i'm not changing the folks look it's not for sure yet i we're gonna do we're do another uh we can do another poll but i want we're we're gonna we're not doing it now yeah okay give it let us breathe we'll keep doing polls till we get the results we want yeah yeah yeah we'll do another one so how long do you guys want this to go on if you know what i mean uh we but i would we're do it again but we i want it to be a little it needs it let's let everybody i want you to think in your soul about this yeah get into it i might switch let me think about it a little more maybe maybe it's hello folks maybe i just want it to be back hello, folks. Yeah, can we have both?

Huh? Can we do both? We can, yeah. Everybody can do whatever you want. But I don't know what the point of, if it's the intro to the podcast, I'm not going to go, hello, folks. Let's go, folks.

You're getting nowhere. That's how someone gets where they don't, they go nowhere in life is they go, let's just do both. Let's turn quickly. Yeah. That's what happens. You don't make a decision.

You don't make a decision. You don't move forward. You kind of sit in the decision of two things. Is that not true? I got way more serious than i was anticipating you pivoted that into like real life advice that's that is but i'm but that's uh that's why you can't just sit and do i mean i don't know that's you wonder you asked if we could do two i'm telling you the reason why i know but we just did a poll where overwhelmingly he was like let's

just let it sit for a while. You did a poll. Was the episode even up? I put that out, I think, three days later. I mean, people listen to this podcast like on way. We're acting like we're on a live show. It comes out. People listen to it. People are going to think about it.

I'm letting people think. We're making a decision. People listen to it. People are going to think about it. I'm letting people think we're making a decision. We'll come back. I'm on board with let's go folks, but I hope the next poll is like 90% hello. Don't just do that just to make a point. That's true. If that happens,

I'm going to make sure. Answer honestly. Yeah. I'm going to make it. We're going to do another poll if that happens. So it's this week you know if you don't want to do it obviously a lot of you like joe might be over this i think a lot of comments have been at this point we don't care just stop talking about it oh we don't have to do the poll no no no let's do the poll okay let's see you it can be three quick

like here's what i think i think it should be, hello, folks. That's this. This, we're in hello, folks. And if we see each other out in the wild, I think it's whatever you want. Hello, folks, or let's go, folks. I think it's fun to, like, you can be let's go, folks, and you scream, like that kind of thing. Like, you know, it's kind of, it's both of them. Hello, folks is the response. Let's go, folks. Or maybe say, I'm a hello, folks person.

I'm a let's go, folks person. But say, I'm a hello folks person. I'm a let's go folks person. But we're all folks, and we all get along. So hello folks only, let's go folks only, or hello folks slash let's go folks. Hello folks, let's go folks in the wild. Okay. Does people get that? I don't think I get it. Not in here, like when we're out and about.

It's your own choice hello folks let's go folks you know does that make sense that's basically what it is i don't know we have to do a poll all right we could you we don't have to do the point okay yeah let's just there's no reason for the point i think it's hello folks here moving forward we're done you can still in your comments you all right let's go folks like that's funny like it's a funny they're both funny things but hello folks is how we will greet you how we will start our day in a land yeah do you want to take this self-assessment yeah let's see what it is number one this is for you andy that thinks number one do you read slowly no i mean that's crazy did you have trouble learning how to read when you're in school

I mean I guess it doesn't look like I learned do you often have to read something two or three times before it makes sense I mean who wrote this is it uh folk did a folk write this are you uncomfortable reading out loud I mean I it's embarrassing I am am, like, I don't, I wouldn't, in this setting, I'm fine, but I'm not going to do it in a... Do you ever read out loud, like, a church or stuff like that? No, I would never do that. Do you omit, transpose, or add letters when reading or writing? I think I see a different sentence than y'all see.

Do you find you still have spelling mistakes in your writing even after using spellcheck? I sometimes spellcheck can't even, I'm not even on the same page where they go, I don't even know what you're trying to do. Do you find it difficult to pronounce uncommon multi-syllable words when you are reading? I mean, I'll answer that one. Yeah. Do you choose to read magazines or short articles rather than books and novels?

Longer books. I don't even. I think a magazine's pretty long. I don't know what kind of magazine that is. Yeah, what's shorter than a magazine? And who's reading short articles? A whole magazine? No.

Do I breeze through a short article? Yeah. Do I get a glimpse of it when you were in school did you find it extremely difficult to learn a foreign language i remember we took spanish and it was very brief and i don't know how i can say ola and agua and stuff but i don't i didn't do much with it so i didn't take more i mean i could say hello and water yeah i mean i don't know what else you want what are you what else you're gonna say if you're in trouble i'll go down there hola agua yeah those are mainly the two things i need do you avoid work projects or courses that require

extensive reading yeah i mean i started stand-up comedy where i don't have to read i did it so much so that i got out of the i think there's yes on what is that i mean what are the other yeses you haven't said did you have trouble learning how to read when you were in school i mean yeah all right i was being nice on some of these i mean yeah it's for my health so you don't have to be nice. So it is, do I have it? Well, the self-assessment, I am 10 for 10 on yeses. Somehow I missed out that boy bands weren't cool if you're a guy. Because New Edition, they were a big thing, but that's the only boy. And then before my senior year of high school, right before we started back,

me and my buddy went to the New Kids on the Block concert. And we didn't realize that that's not cool for guys. So I bought a T-shirt at Starwood Amphitheater to wear to school my first day of my senior year. Big statement. Well, people quickly let me know. Yeah, I brought it for official. I wore this shirt to school first day of my senior year.

It didn't go over well. Guys quickly let me know. That's not cool. Like an improv troupe. You would be... You would tell them to do a concert you're like not stole it from some girl that would be what you should have you would be like all right that's cool i beat up a girl i mean i was so proud it took like third period of people just like what

are you doing man before i realized this was a huge mistake and you had to wear it all day all day yeah i mean yeah i couldn't go home yeah could you turn it on its head and be like yeah it's yeah it's hilarious that i'm wearing i could have if i was smart but no yeah it took me half the day to realize if it's not time machine we could go back and fix it kind of past the point of don't you think you could have uh done it yeah i could have done a lot of stuff could have there's a lot of yeah i could have done a lot of stuff could have there's a lot of stuff i could have done differently a little bit more i went up to a guy in high school and asked for his autograph

you didn't go to my high school were you in high school i was like a freshman in high school and i was the biggest sports fan in the world and i read like every street and smith college basketball magazine from cover to cover and they listed the top high school players coming out and a guy named carlos groves played at east robertson high school and he got recruited by tennessee and he was in my magazine and i was so excited that he came to our high school to play he was like a celebrity that i went up to him and had him autograph my magazine and his buddies were like teasing him yeah you know like what it would almost be like if somebody came to me me now It was just ridiculous Every way around He was embarrassed

I'm the only one not embarrassed at the time Everybody else is like what is going on here And they just teased him about it You want to take a test on if you got gout or not Yeah Do you have trouble reading No Do you wear Walmart slippers

I do wear Walmart slippers Do you wear Walmart slippers? I do wear Walmart slippers quite a bit. Do you have two different size socks? The ideal way to diagnose gout is to draw fluid out of the joint and have the fluid examined. Well, I can't do that on the podcast. Sure we can. Dr. Safdar Khan. Yeah.

Well, yeah, we got real doctors, dude. They come in here and do it. Get Safdar Khan on. He gets under the table like Holly. Down there doing the show by the end of it. He just see him. He cuts your ankle open and he takes it on the finger and goes, tastes like mayonnaise.

Gout. This is mayonnaise in my joints yeah yeah a little spicy Nick you put cortisone in your mouth this week

so Daniel what's your comments on if someone as an adult thinks cortisone's toothpaste and then squirts it into his mouth and swigs it around? Did you do that on the bus? Not on the bus. No. At his parents' house.

So, yeah. So, we're staying in Mohegan Sun. I wake up early. My parents live in New Haven. I'm tired. I go there. I'm like, I need to rinse my mouth out. So, I see this tube what looks

like toothpaste and i just see the c and i thought it was colgate and so i go like that it is red put it in it was a red and white label you know so that's how he said his brushes he doesn't have a toothbrush so he basically eats toothpaste and yeah and then he puts it in his mouth and then we've already had an incident with this before so I start to swish you have water in your mouth? not yet

so you do it no water or anything well first step is put the toothpaste in second step go under the sink get a little water I like that you go under you gotta swim to the sink you jump in it you just hold your nose and jump in the sink and then swim over there

well usually i can't reach the sink so i gotta it's steps so i'm like i gotta do like a pull-up in and then move i do kind of swim a little bit towards the sink so now i on the way i'm i turn the tube and realize that it's cortisone in my mouth. I just spit it out like immediately. And now like ever since then, my front teeth have been hurting. I don't know if this is like connected. Yeah, still today.

Still today. I mean, it's been like five days. Two days of like serious pain in my first teeth. They're gonna fall out. Not before. Not before. Not before. But just right after the cortisone. Right after the cortisone, I'm like.

I mean. God, they make you really study when you sell peanut butter, huh? Yeah, I mean, you know. People ask these questions. You just don't go selling it. Yeah. You know what's happening.

You show up at somebody's doorstep, you better know your stuff. Yeah. I think nowadays. There was no doorsteps, man. I know. It wasn't selling Girl Scout cookies or something, man. Encyclopedias. Come on.

I had big accounts, Darren. Big accounts. You tie the horse up to the thing and walk inside. I had like Kroger. You know, like I had. Oh. Yeah. All right. Oh, God.

My bad, man. Yeah, man. I'm sorry. You're kind of belittling what i did you got talked kroger into buying peanut butter they were an anti-peanut butter go ahead no no now you sound like my dad okay it was like uh you know i always had a hard time explaining the job it was a good job yeah it was like a you know paid a lot and it was a competitive job to get but my dad was like well you know you're you're not you're not really in sales i'm like yeah yeah i am you know he's like well i've been going to the grocery store for

60 years and they've always had jiff peanut butter yeah what do they need you for it's not about it's not about like whether they carry it or not it's about how much they sell to their consumer and there's all kinds of, dials and switches I can move to help them sell more. And he'd still be like, yeah, yeah, you're not in sales. Like the display and such. Display is a big display. Shelf placement. Shelf placement is another.

Shelf placement is another. You would be eye level? You'd like to be eye level. Yeah. You'd like to have a block. You'd like to have a real nice block. I don't know why that's funny, Nate. I'm telling you, this is important stuff here.

No, he said you'd like to be eye level. Like, it's just such a serious. Like, I felt like I was interviewing to be a period. I go, so we want to be eye level? You'd like to be. Don't expect to be eye level. You're not just going to walk in there and be eye level. You're just going to walk in and say you're eye level.

I mean, yeah, you're a new kid on the block. Don't think they're going to try to throw you at the bottom. You show up the first day. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. You're a new kid on the block. Don't think you're going to – they're going to try to throw you at the bottom. You show up the first day. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and I saw it in a lot of different places. I mean, Jif, we were brand leader usually. We were Isla.

If you walk into a store today and you see Jif on the bottom shelf, somebody did something to make somebody angry. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Now Pringles, that was a whole – we were, you know. You sold Pringles too. Yeah, I sold Pringles. So you got out of peanut butter. No, no. a whole, we were, you know. You sold Pringles? Yeah, I sold Pringles.

So you got out of peanut butter. No, no. I was saying they were the same company. I sold Pringles, Jif, Duncan Hines. Is Pringles considered a potato chip? It is. You're selling very easy. You're selling things that are-

It's not easy, Nate. I mean, I think I'm on your dad's team. I know. You're selling stuff that's like, I don't know. I swear I went through this. The things that I have to have. I went through this, but I was like- That's like you're selling stuff that's like, I don't know. I swear I went through this. The things that I have to have. I went through this, but I was like. That's like you're selling cocaine.

It goes pretty good. People really like it. You go, oh, is it hard to do? No, but I had competitors. You go up against Skippy and see how well you do. Jif is the main one. It is the main, but it got there through guys like me. Food's on the ground. Food's on the ground.

Food's on the ground. Yeah. Shoe leather and knuckles. And now we know who to thank. Yeah. Okay. I started Jif is spelled with a G. Man, that's crazy.

It is. Yeah. How far can you throw a football? That sounds like a child just walked in. How big's your hands? Yeah. How much do you weigh? Is your head bigger than my dad's head?

I think my dad can beat you up. You're like, all right. Can we get him to calm him down a little bit? Have we ever talked about, you know, when I was in middle school, everyone had ringtones on their phone. That was such a high pitch that the teacher couldn't hear it. That's back when I taught middle school, by the way, probably what you're talking about. Do you know what i'm talking about where kids had that

on their phone i was just in the early uh i taught in the early 2000s when they cell phones first came out now it's probably you i think what teachers do you have to put the cell phone in a bag when you come into class you can't have it on you yeah they did uh we but they what's the high pitch that the teacher couldn't because the teacher's older with teachers older they can't hear so we would all have ring tones and our phones would be making noises that we could all hear as a kid but the the teacher couldn't hear it because it was such a high yeah i think your teacher just let it happen because i don't believe that you i don't believe there's a high pitch. There is, though. There's not.

There's no way. I mean, is your teacher 90? Or is he like 40? Teacher's probably in the early 30s. No, there's no way. Even that age difference, you would not be able to hear it. I think you absolutely can.

You're doing it to me right now, aren't you? Yeah. No. Y'all hear it, don't you? What was the frequency called? Brian's never known Yeah That's pretty solid That was a good joke

Let's go to traffic Brian Yeah You want to go ahead Split log world Yeah Give my home address out Mike They did

You know we've been playing We played the theme song During the whole episode What Yeah in the back What if we were doing that He never heard it You don't hear that right now You know, we've been playing... We played the theme song during the whole episode. What? Yeah, in the back. What if we were doing that and he never heard it? You don't hear that right now?

I don't think there's... There's frequencies that younger people can't hear. If you're 125 and still can't hear it, try turning your volume up. You want to try this? Yeah. See if you can hear it? Yeah.

I distinctly... I remember I had it on my phone and I would play it and my parents couldn't hear it and then all the kids had it. What's muted? That's why. Well, yeah. All right, we're about to play this, everybody, because we're just sitting there. You hear it?

No. You don't hear that? You can hear it? You can hear it you can hear it do it again do you hear yeah dude do you hear it no oh yeah yeah you hear it too i don't believe me and the boys come on man that's crazy what's the what is it making? What noise? Probably messing with us. I don't know. It doesn't have the hertz or whatever.

I don't even know what you call it. What's it? Is it going beep? It's just a high-pitched noise. Oh, my gosh. Wow. That's unbelievable. Speaking of rednecks at Panthers games.

Yeah, do you see the dude that Got kicked out for dancing in the end zone With the mascot That was in 1995 Wait, this just came out? That's me Oh, is it? That's me, the first year the Panthers played In the NFL

I'm doing the moonwalk on grass, it's not easy Michael Jackson crotch grabs I'm singing what I like about you. And I used to break dance, so I thought I'd do the worm. And I'm doing the worm, and then the refs come out behind me. I didn't see them, and then it's a full-on wedgie. And then this other guy comes over to defend me. That's Dale Earnhardt.

And then you've got this dude who was with the Sir Purr mascot. That's our mascot, Sir Purr, to defend me. Because I was already dancing in the stands making people laugh. Now, look, I was already in that side of the field. They could have kicked me out. They marched me 99 yards. It's the longest walk of shame. And these people are throwing beers at him, screaming, let him go.

I like that. You're throwing them at you for sure, throwing at them and not you. Oh, 100%. You got it. You got it. Oh, yeah. And he never let go of my pants the whole time, 99 yards. I put my arm around him at one point.

I felt like, well, let's just hold each other. But, yeah, that was the first year of the NFL. You have that belt. I wore my belt like that with your belt hung down. The of the NFL. You have that belt. That's when I wore my belt like that. Your belt hung down. The braided belt. The braided belt. You put it, wrap it around, stick it down.

That was so cool. Yeah. You're just talking to them and your pants are just all the way up. I'm trying to reason with the guys. Like, dude, I was invited out here by the mascot. You didn't see the... And they weren't hearing it. And they're like, we've got to kick you out.

It's an NFL rule. And he was kind of mean. Sir Purr invited me out there. Yeah. Yeah. I was going to ask how you got on the field. Yeah. Yeah.

I was already having a good time. And we learned together in that moment that Sir Purr does not have the authority to invite people onto the field. He didn't know it either. It was the first year with the NFL. And we learned a lot that year. Well, you're playing on a college field right there, right?

It's Clemson. So everyone still has a college mentality. He's like, yeah, come on down here. Yeah, exactly. And a player was hurt, so they were working on this player for like 10 minutes. Yeah. And they're just playing music. Is this during an injury time now?

Yeah, screw that guy. I'm having a good time. That guy's paralyzed. They take him off the field. Yeah, he didn't make it. Look at you. Did they ever, like, get it, or they just got you out? They just kicked me out.

Yeah. And then they sit out there, and they ask you all kinds of questions. And they got my ID. Well, it's like a week later, I got all this free crap in the mail from the Panthers. Oh, that's awesome. Like, they realized they screwed up. And so, like, it wasn't my fault technically. And so I got, like, a sipper bottle, a key chain, coffee mug.

I mean, that's like they just grab stuff around the office. Yeah, they hear a senator. They go, who's got stuff? They go, God, I don't know. I think they thought I was going to sue them or something. Yeah. I found out later that the guy in the mascot, his name is Tommy Donovan. And I used to, you know, i used to you know i used to

pretend to be mad at the surfer like i'm gonna find out who that guy is who got me kicked out and i reached out to him and he does comedy now oh really like he opened for me not long ago oh south carolina yeah he's actually pretty good he's a pretty cool guy yeah this all worked out yeah did he know you no i wasn't even doing stand-up at this time. No, I hadn't even done stand-up. I had been talking about doing it, but at this point I hadn't. But why did he invite you on the field?

Well, I was already dancing in the stands. So every time out, I'd get up and start dancing to make my friends laugh. And so there's like 10 of us, and they would be like snickering or whatever. Next time out, I'm up again. Now it's not just my friends, it and so there's like 10 of us and they would be like snickering or whatever next time out i'm up again now it's not just my friends it's people around them so slowly it turns into a thing every time out people start and it grows right so third quarter my buddy marty he

said you got to get on that grass hill behind the goal post so the whole stadium can see yeah i was like you're a genius it was a great idea. Because Clemson had that grass hill. Anybody could just go sit up there. And so I make my way over there. And that's when this guy got hurt. They were playing music the whole time. And I would just do... What is not on this tape is the best part.

I literally got like, I don't know, 50,000, 60,000 people listening. I'm conducting them because I'm behind the goalpost. I do one dance move point like that they go cut them off near the hulk hogan hand behind the ear to the other side like it was huge and so the mascot who's doing his own thing is kind of like no one's looking at me right now they're looking at this kid and so he walked over and just said come out here and dance with me he wouldn't even think and he just waved me out there yeah and then my friend friends just threw me over the fence.

Yeah. Get out there. And that's when the tape kicks in. Yeah. After the invitation. So people who see this, they think I was just some drunk idiot who ran out there. But I was invited. Yeah.

And this is on your YouTube channel? Yeah. John, if people want to look it up. Who filmed this for you? There was a freelance photographer who was standing there. That's a great wedgie. I give these cops credit, man. I mean, they do it perfect.

Like the back of your heels never touch the ground. I mean, you go like the timing. That's the best timing. It's the best timing I've ever seen in my life. Go back to the beginning. I've never seen timing like this. His heels don't touch the ground. They kind of waited for it to get there.

They go. He's on his toes. Oh. The timing is weird. I mean, if you told me everybody was in on it, I would believe that. Like, it's unbelievable. One minute, I'm having the best time of my life. This is the best thing I've ever done.

Next minute, bam. I'm like, what's going on? I was like, hey, take it easy. Why are there three of you? I don't understand why you guys are meeting. Why are they yelling at me? You have no idea. Everything's great.

Bam! It started just growing. The ground started growing. It started spreading out it started because there's a mountain just starts popping but that would be it comes from the bottom i guess the ocean yeah because the ocean's all land well used to be all ocean i think yeah and then it starts rising up. Yeah. And then the land just came out of the ocean? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Like shake it.

All right. So it was just ocean. Yeah. The land emerged. Land emerged. And then dinosaurs just started popping up. Just boop, boop, boop, boop. They just started like. Yeah.

Yeah. And then they were around for a long time. Longer than us. Yeah, then a meteor came. Six months. Or an asteroid. Bam, bam, bam. And a lot of smoke happened.

Crazy. Couldn't get out because no one's gone up. Only the mammals survived. Small mammals. What about the reptiles? We smoke cigarettes because we can handle ash. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, I'm just trying to piece it together. I think we are. I think it is pieced together. Yeah, it seems very i don't i mean i don't know how you don't i know i know we really just went through it yeah yeah jess f hello folks as a road lot rhode islander i never got to wonder how many of my state would fit into a place because no one ever seems to fail to include that information in a story. For example, the news has informed me that the biggest fire in Oregon, Washington, the third the size of Rhode Island. Oregon was.

Oregon was. Wise was. I love that it's in all caps. He just ignored it. He's emphasizing that Oregon was. Oregon was. Oregon, Washington. Well, was is in caps. That's how you do a state. Right.

The city of Oregon in Washington. Is there an Oregon, Washington? There might be. I hope there is. For Nate's sake. I need there to be in oregon they're just gonna say is there an oregon washington there's a washington county in oregon that's all right that's what i meant oh man uh for example the news has informed me that the biggest fire in Oregon was a third the size of Rhode Island. I was about to say, that sentence didn't make sense when I said it.

Yeah. I kept going, though. Nate, the worst word I butchered. Chris Radcliffe. Oh, Chris Radcliffe. Nate, the worst word I butchered while reading out loud was horse divorce. Hors d'oeuvres. Hors d'oeuvres. Yeah. Horse divorce. Or derves. Or derves.

Yeah. I pronounce it as hours devours. And probably got ridiculed by my friends. I'm curious how you're pronouncing it right now. I said horse divorce. A horse divorce. said horse divorce horse divorce a horse divorce it's been happening a lot around here uh horse divorces what if you get a lawyer that looks like a business card should be that what do you do i do horse divorces and then he goes oh specialize specialize in horse divorces so they get divorced a lot more than you

think imagine what what do you think it is and you go i think it's zero and he goes it's every one of them there's not one horse that i've met that stays along with his running mate they're all so unhappy they're all so unhappy and i deal with horse divorces i got more than i want and then someone comes over and gives him some caviar and he goes oh thank you because that's what they'd be serving at a horse divorce party upscale upscale upscale hours devours you know if you don't say what is it or uh hors d'oeuvres hors d'oeuvres i would how do they get to that i know do you think anybody says that word correctly the first time they see it there's not a chance yeah and even if you know it you don't see that in correctly the first time they see it? There's not a chance. Yeah.

And even if you know it, you don't see that in your head when you say hors d'oeuvres. Yeah. You know, nobody does. Horse. You about to say, Brian? I was going to say, I can see how he would, hours devours. I could kind of see that leap. Horse divorce is a little more of a leap, but. Horse devours.

Do, I guess guess do phrase i could have said horse d do uvray horse do phrase excuse me would you like any horse do raise please oh i will you know i don't mind if i do this picture of you as a waiter at a fancy event, walking around with some pigs in a blanket. Got to tempt you with some horse divorees. Divorees? What's that? Horse divorees. This is horse?

No, no, no. It's pigs in a blanket. What's the matter? You don't need any cutlery for this. What's the matter? You don't need any, yeah. Cutlery. Cutlery. You don't need cutlery for this what's the matter you don't need any yeah cutlery cutlery you don't need cutlery for this this is horse divorce what do we got going here you know where this is uh civilistation just add every you can almost make that a whole sentence. Yeah. Forced divorce.

Cut Larry. Validity. What was it you said? Yeah. Validitimacy. Validitimacy, yeah. What's the Mary Poppins song? Validitimacy. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. I knew I was saying it wrong That one I knew I was like for some reason the right words weren't coming And then I thought well let's just see what words Let's get to the docious part at the end Yeah

Docious Horse divorce Just seeing a horse in court just sits there both i don't even want to look at every judge why is the long face all right he goes he loves it every time he goes all right i always start like that what's the problem uh and she doesn't want to be near me anymore. A lot of jokes like that. That's where the lawyers have a good time. It's a good, it's a fun place to be.

At a horse divorce, to go in there. Horse divorce court. Horse divorce court. And to go in there and they bring in the little. The ponies. The ponies. And they're just sitting there. And they're like there and they bring in the little ponies. The ponies. And they're just sitting there. And they're branding them.

And you got, golly. One shows up with a bunch of brands all over him. And you're like, oh, boy, this one's trouble. Look at all the brands he's got. He's got a bunch of these guys. He's all branded up. The thing about that sometimes is if I step on an ant, you're like, just a tear, just a, what's the, just share?

Murder? No. Yeah, but. Shears? Yeah. What's the rest of the sentence? And we'll see. I don't know the rest. I think it's a pretty important word.

yeah what's the rest of the sentence and we'll see i don't know the rest i think it's a pretty important word uh the t the what is the tear share or something like that the fear the sheer terror the sheer terror okay of that ant of that ant yeah sheer terror is a good word yeah but i didn't know how to what was i saying the The opposite The tear share Tear The tear share Tear share It started in 8th century BC And went to 4th century AD So during the time of Christ The Olympics were going on

Yeah That's kind of crazy Yeah The Israeli team approached him Like Hey You're 30 I know that's kind of old for gymnasts

But we've seen what you've done on that water Yeah We think we could use you here Yeah You're Unbelievable I know that's kind of old for gymnasts, but we've seen what you've done on that water. We think we could use you here. Yeah. You're unbelievable. You're doing some stuff. We've seen it.

But they started originally to honor the – I don't think he could get under the water. Jesus? To swim. Oh, to swim? He just runs on top of it. Freestyle? Yeah. He can do freestyle, right? Freestyle, he just runs across it. He just runs on top of it. Freestyle? Yeah. He can do freestyle, right?

Freestyle, he just runs across it. He just runs across it. And he goes, is he going to freestyle? He's like, I can do whatever I want, right? Yeah. That's what he goes. That's the name of it. I'm confused.

The name of it is freestyle, do whatever you want. Yeah, but Jesus, you have to swim. But you're not even wet. You didn't take your shoes off. And they don't have much rain in UAE, so he's come up with a plan to haul an iceberg from Antarctica. Is this the same net guy? No, I think this is a different guy.

They should meet because they both got some wild ideas. What if they run into each other on the ocean moving along? But he wants to haul it from Antarctica. 20 billion gallons of water, he said. They could be drinking water for a million people for five years if he can get this iceberg. It's not a bad idea. It's not that long.

I mean, it'd be worth the trip. You wouldn't regret it when you got back. I think you've got to come up with a better solution. How long is it going to take to get that? I don't know. I mean, it'd be worth the trip. You wouldn't regret it when you got back. I think you've got to come up with a better solution than fight. Like, how long is it going to take to get that? I don't know. How do you just lasso? How much do you lose as the iceberg then goes to Florida and it's like 79 degrees now?

And you're like, well, now we're losing. Tommy gets home. It's this big? Yeah. I did it, guys. Yes. Where is it? It's just a cup.. I did it, guys. He goes, where is it? It's just a cup.

He's got this cup. And he just goes, I didn't think it through. And then he drinks it. Just to finish it off. Oh, that's cold. That's good. You may have heard of me. I did a comedy catch in Chattanooga.

And the guy up front was wearing an Auburn shirt. I was like, you an Auburn shirt. Yeah. You an Auburn fan? He's like, yeah. And I was like, all right, cool. That's awesome. I've done that. Man, I've been that guy, though.

What a moment. You don't know what this guy's going to say, man. This guy's a loose cannon, dude. Let's talk about what you're wearing. What is that, Tommy Hilfiger? Yeah. This guy's a maniac. Don't sit up front.

Don't sit in the splash zone. Bates will get you. He'll take you on a wild ride, brother. He just talks about what you're wearing. Does he make fun of it? No. It's not his style, man. That's not what Bates does.

He said he wished he could afford it. He makes the person feel bad. He's like, God, I'd love to be able to buy an office shirt like that one day. Yeah. So, Sparknotes, when we read Shakespeare, they go through and they just have it side by side translated to normal English. Oh. And everyone will just read that. So what's the Shakespeare line?

Read Shakespeare line in Shakespeare. Okay, I'll read. And I'll read the normal version. That will be air, the set of sun. The sun sets down right over that way. Where the air is. Where the air is. Yeah, yeah. Where's the sunset? In the sky, you moron. In the air is. Where the air is. Yeah, yeah.

Where's the sunset? In the sky, you moron. In the air of the sky. Upon the heath. Upon the heath? Yeah. It's a heath. Where's it at?

It's on top of the heath. Does he even tell you where heath is? Look, we got the translated translated translated what's a famous shakespeare oh let's do it so this is like macbeth reading macbeth okay give me another one okay when shall we three meet again in thunder lightning or in rain i mean probably not those times it's going to be a bad time you're just answering yeah wow how i'm supposed to give what the thing is i mean why would i want to meet in the thunder how about we pick a nice sunny afternoon you know i don't bring my horse out and all the muck

how about romeo romeo where art thou romeo like where romeo where are you yeah where did you go no that's actually that's not what it means why are you why are you romeo where are you yeah where did you go no that's actually that's not what it means why are you why are you romeo wherefore means why so why are you romeo because my parents named me romeo yeah that's what he said why are you in this family that i'm not allowed to be i misquoted it in fairness oh why are you in this family romeo wherefore art thou romeo why are you a romeo because i'm not allowed to talk to your family. So why are you a Romeo? Yeah, why is that your... They're questioning, like, why are you...

Like, he's like, wait, is this too Romeo? Who's this? Is this like a Karen? Is Juliet? Maybe I'm wrong. I thought that that scene was... She's asking, I wish you weren't from this family that's rivaling mine.

Yeah. That's what I thought it meant. What if she broke it down like that he would have they wouldn't have both died did they die yeah yeah they both died at the end yeah well that probably could have been solved maybe because they couldn't understand they maybe because they're both speaking so ridiculous words that they then go they go do you sure you want to do this that's what they're saying but it's going like i shall thou kill myself and it's like what did you mean i didn't want to do it and he goes i didn you want to do this? That's what they're saying, but it's going like, I shall thou kill myself. And it's like, what did you mean?

I didn't want to do it. And he goes, I didn't want to do it either. Why were we not just saying that? When you interview at advertising companies, they try to, because I interviewed a couple, they try to throw you off by asking you crazy questions in the middle of an interview just to see how you think. So they'll be like, so Nate, tell me about you got family out here?

Yeah. What animal would you be if you could be an animal? Bengal. Bengal. I'm ready for everything. You're hired. You want to keep going? No.

Just ask me. How many windows are in New York City hundred thousand give or take go give or take a bunch I mean just keep going

ask me go to because they gotta go to Syria they gotta flip it back and forth yeah if you had a billion dollars

in cash where would you hide it? In your mom's house. I think I would get hired. That's how you become a manager. That's how you become a manager. I'm trying to do an herb garden. I got some thyme growing some carrots wow yeah

time carrots i struggle with but what'd you have time you have some time yeah growing yeah like the herb oh yeah man i didn't know there's an herb called time yeah yeah spelled time oh you've seen that yes you say thought they say thyme. They say thyme? They tell me it's pronounced thyme. I would say. I mean, I agree with you. I would start saying thyme more. Yeah, I agree with you. That didn't make sense.

You have thyme growing. I was like, dude. What kind of garden is that? Yeah, what is it? The future? Yeah, I'm saying. You're like, how much experience are you that you're growing thyme? It's context.

I figured out how to make it work. He goes, I'm a time traveler. The herb. The herb. Oh, you're a time traveler. I'm a time traveler. Time traveler. Rachel Caine, the amount of misfortune that happens in Brian's life.

I need a reality show. Please, someone just follow this man with a camera, keeping up with the Kardashians would have nothing on bad luck Brian. Can I address this? Breaking Brian.

That's what we call it. Breaking Brian. Yeah. I admit I've had my share of embarrassing moments. I mean, I may be having a stroke right now.

Yeah. But I also turned 50 today. So we've all, you live that long, you're going to have some embarrassing moments. And as comics, we share them. Yeah. And I also turned 50 today. So we've all, you live that long, you're going to have some embarrassing moments. Yeah. And as comics,

we share them. Yeah. And that's what makes them funny. Now, so I hope they don't really think, I feel like I'm the luckiest person in the world.

Yeah. I got great friends, prison company included. A great job. I get to do what I love. Yeah. I got a great wife. I got a baby on the way. I got a lot to be thankful for. great wife i got a baby on the way i got a lot

to be thankful for you don't have a baby on the way i do do you really yep are you kidding are you kidding dude get out of town man there we go that's awesome man congrats dude congrats unreal that's so great wow thank you so much so much. Golly, that's crazy. Oh, man. I thought you were just joking. I got a lot to be thankful for. Nope. Yeah.

Wow. I'm very serious. We'll get to the bottom of this stroke stuff a little bit quicker than we think. I know. We'll figure it out. Got to get it figured out. Got to be healthy for our baby. I know.

How far along is she? She's already in second trimester. Yeah, yeah. I mean, at our age, we wanted to really wait and make sure that everything was good. But we felt like now we're at the point where we can tell people. That's so great, man. Oh, man. Little girl.

A girl? Wow. Oh, wow. Yeah. Wow. That's crazy, dude. Yeah. That's crazy.

So I'm very, we're so excited. Where's your mom? She was thrilled. She just couldn't believe it. Yeah. Yeah. very, we're so excited. Your mom just, she. She was thrilled. Yeah. She just couldn't believe it. Yeah. Yeah. So we're all so excited.

Yeah. I don't know if anybody thought we're going to have a kid. I'm sure y'all didn't think you were. No, we didn't. And, you know, it's not easy at our age, but. Yeah. Things happen. It's a miracle.

So. Yeah. We're doing it. Yeah. Wow, dude. Congratulations, man. If you're the praying type, I ask for continued prayers for a healthy baby. Yeah.

And that I'm not having a stroke. Yeah. Yeah. Let's do the baby first. We're going to rank it in order. Like the way the prayer is ranking, like we're people in states. And they go, well, Alaska does, they did the stroke first. But most of the other country did the baby first.

At the end of the episode, I watched after the sign off as Nate walked to breakfast and I expected him to give him a hug or something after breakfast is big news. Instead, he reached over and grabbed some Sour Patch Kids. Typical Nate, keep up the good work.

That's so funny. That was good. Yeah. We've hugged. I don't think we did. Did we hug? I think we, not much. That's so funny. That was good. Yeah. We've hugged. I don't think we did. Did we hug? I think we... Not much.

It's very funny. I'm going to pull that up. I want you to watch. No, I think we... Oh, yeah. I want you to watch. I think we have hugged. It'll take a second.

We've hugged. Occasionally. When you got married. Yep. When this baby's born. I mean, the fact that you guys are having to argue about it just proves it's not enough. I just wish we hugged more is what I'm saying. There's a point. I hug.

There's my buddy Dan Chackie. We never would shake hands when we would leave because he'd be like, sometimes it's like, what are we doing? I like hugging, but when you're around someone all the time, I'm not hugging. Here's the end. You get up.

It looks like you're about to get up. Hey, man. Congratulations, dude. And Priorities. I used to work in high school. We had to do, we had to volunteer places to graduate yeah they put a certain number of hours and i worked in the kitchen of a nursing home in hendersonville and i just did dishes every day after school and you know you get sent plates back and it's like any kitchen like there's people leave stuff on the plate right so i'm 17 18 years old french fry day

i'm just pounding french fries yeah when they send the plates back right yeah so i remember one day i've been doing this for months and i'm just eating french fries off this plate and one of the old nurses comes in she goes oh honey no and i go well why oh i go what's the problem like i'm not gonna let it go to waste she goes so many of our residents will suck the salt off those french fries and put it back on the plate and i'd never touch food again wild wow just the look on her face when she saw me she's like oh no that's so crazy I used to eat the food off people's plate

all the time but I've never heard anything that disgusting that makes me retroactively sick it's almost like yeah you don't even want to think about it

because I ate a bunch of those man I ate a lot of fries I used to say would you ever go to the cook and go I think we should put more salt on these fries

I think you'd sell more. They always come back, and I think it's because they don't have enough salt on them. And he's like, all right, man, I guess I'll throw some more on there. I thought I was putting a lot on there. So there's a regional in Pittsburgh, and it's not in the city. But the Saturday, a group of little people were like, let's go and see downtown Pittsburgh. So this one girl, she has a new minivan. All right. We're all little people. Her dad just bought this new brand new, beautiful minivan, accessible van, you know, very expensive.

So we go into downtown Pittsburgh and everyone's drinking, you know, and I'm not because, you know, very expensive. So we go into downtown Pittsburgh and everyone's drinking, you know, and, and I'm not, cause you know, it's early and I was just tired. So the girl who's minivan it is, she only had like one beer, but she was like, I probably shouldn't drive. I was like, I'll drive, you know, I'm fine, you know? And so now we're on the fourth floor of a parking garage that is on a very heavy, steep incline. Fourth floor down. And so I get in very confident. I'm a good driver. And I start the car.

And I put my foot on the brake now. And I put it in reverse. Now what happens is the pedal extension falls off the brake so you have to they you put an extension on so i obviously i drive with pedal extension so it's like a regular pedal but there's two extended bars that attach to the pedals yeah one on the gas one on the brake so when i put the car in reverse and i put my foot on the brake, I don't know how, but my foot just knocks that brake pedal off. So now all of a sudden, within a second, we are just full speed going backwards down on the fourth floor. And there's a guardrail where we could just go over five little people in this minivan.

We're just dead. So real instinct. I'm like, look, I got to save us. So I just start hitting cars on the way. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I'm slowing us down. And I hit seven cars. And now I get out and, you know, she is just like, I cannot believe this.

This is the brand new minivan my family has been saving for and i just hit seven cars i smashed so now we have to just sit there and wait to tell all these people that i along with these other five innocent little people just smashed and destroyed all these cars i mean just so many people walking out like seven people like it's i mean possibly 15 people are walking out and you're like how you doing do you park on the fourth floor you gotta ask him like yeah all right well we probably got some news for you and then we got to get back to the hotel later because this is the convention yeah and that's like the talk of the conference every little person knows what happens like everyone's mad you know This family has been saving up for this minivan.

And this is years ago. We're talking about 15 years ago. But I actually saw that girl. I see her all the time. But a couple years ago, she's like, you know, we're still paying off for that. When the sun's out, when it's raining? Yeah. Do you have a word for that, what you'd call that?

When the sun's out and it's raining yeah do you have a word for that what you'd call that when the sun's out and it's raining yeah no uh in parts of the northeast in florida they refer to it as a sun shower oh parts of mississippi and alabama they call it the devil is beating his wife do they really yeah yeah you know that term i feel i heard that growing up if it's if it's the sun's out and it's raining yeah the devil's beating his wife today yeah was he doing a habitat for humanity and that's where you heard it you go y'all drove down your mountain to talk to the regular folk devil's beating his wife teachers would use it regular people in school oh yeah it was just an expression. Yeah. It doesn't happen that often. I mean, how often does this weather phenomenon happen? Well, enough's enough. Not that often, but enough for a term.

I think that's what a real abusive relationship is. Well, I mean, how often am I really hitting you? You go, I guess not every day. I mean, that's the saying. All right. And then the wife has to be like, I mean, I guess I can't complain about it. It's not every day. You know?

Yeah. In Florida, it's every day. I guess so. It rains in, I think, every day. They always say that they get just a hard shower at some point during the day, and they don't stop. But I've never heard. That's crazy. That seems like a lot.

If someone said that, I would be like, what's that? Weather men aren't using this term you know on the news or well it's in the education the teachers are using it the educators well kids the devil's beating his wife today yeah do you have any idea what it means or how that i mean i have a i have an image of what it means the devil beating his wife in reference to the well no i have no idea i have no because she's crying from i guess she's crying and he's the devil's burning on it maybe i think yeah i didn't dig into it like that but yeah that makes sense i like it oh i'm start saying that again yeah the devil's beating his wife and we're a wife beater

that's what the shirt that's what the shirt is if you i bet a lot of people that say that have that shirt on and then there's just a lot of like like you have to go and goes guys walks out of my feet and goes up devil's beating his wife today and you're like oh you know i told you the story about going to have a spot roof for my face. And they told me to put on a hospital gown. And I'd never, I've never been in the hospital. Yeah. So I didn't know if you're supposed to take your clothes off or not. So I started, I was, for some reason in my head,

I thought it would look dumber if I still had my clothes on when they come with the gown. You have jeans on. So I just started stripping down. And right when I just get down to the bed, the nurse knocks on the door and i was like just a minute and she's like it's just me hon and i was thinking man yeah we just met yeah and she comes on in with an intern yeah and i'm just whatever she's like oh you didn't

have to take your bottoms off hon yeah so where was your spot getting removed? Right here. Next to your eye. Next to your eye. So then she has to leave the room and I have to completely put all my clothes back on and then the gown on. Why? Why did you have to put the gown on to begin with? To just keep blood from getting on me because of that. I completely stripped down. Took your jeans off. I took everything off.

I mean, you're in like... My socks are off. Yeah. It's like a normal doctor's office. Like, they're going like, yeah, we don't do stuff like this, man. Like, you had... She had an intern with her. Yeah.

Good night, walks in. Did they laugh? I think they were more startled than anything. But then I have to put it all back on and then he comes in with her and the intern and I'm just like, I know they've been out there talking about you. Everybody's talked about you.

Yeah. Oh, everybody. That was like, and they went home. The guy in 431 took all his clothes off. He looks like he would have. They know immediately who you're talking. Yeah. Don't tell me. Let me guess.

My wallet's gone. My wallet's gone. So Penn State. Penn State, and then I got a master's degree. You're stalling me. Don't move yet. My education continued. I went at night, and I got a degree from Cabrini College, a small Catholic college outside of Philadelphia in special education.

Wow. So is that good? Special education is very nice. Big heart you got doing stuff like that. I do like that. But getting a master's at night, is that easier than the day? It is not. I would imagine.

Because you have to work a day job you know i worked with kids with uh behavioral problems during the day and then at night i would have to take classes yeah this is not about the kids i'm saying that usually i don't think people are going to harvard and they got their masters at night so i'm saying when you go you go at night and you go get your master's, it's like to a drive-thru window or something like that. And then the teachers are probably not the top, top, right? Like what teacher goes, I hope I get to work the graveyard shift

to teach the master's degree. What I'm saying is, is it a pretty loose master's? No, it's not a loose master's, Nate. Okay? I see you taking shots at me. Like, we're dumber than the people who get their masters during the day. Day hours is all I'm asking. Like, you're in, you know.

As a working professional, Nate, you have to work during the day, and then you needed supplemental coursework at night. I mean, you're not familiar with secondary education. I'm not. I'm just saying, does your master's degree, when they print it, does it have the time like 9 p.m. on it? Does it say, like that's when it was handed to you? They call it a twilight master's.

The twilight master's. I remember maybe the first time you ever went over to the couch after your set when he says goodnight, Fallon. And I said to you, I think you need to smile more because it made you look worried. Yeah. And you told me you did it next time. You said you thought about that. Yeah. I've done it from here on.

Yeah. And then. See, I take criticism. There's a clip from a recent, what is this? That shows how far you here on. Yeah. And then. See, I take criticism. There's a clip from a recent, what is this? That shows how far you've come. Yeah. So this was on, I got this Laura show into me. I think someone sent me this too.

So Jamie Lynn Spears did an interview on, I bet no one thought I was about to say that. It's like, you got to wrap your head around like, what? So Jamie Lynn Spears, she just did that interview, I guess, about Britney Spears. I don't know anything about that. I don't know that. But whatever it was, she did some interview, I guess. I don't know the whole Britney and Jamie Lynn thing.

Okay. So this guy's talking about Jamie Lynn Spe lynn spears on britney spears reaction interview what does her body language reveal and this is a these guys like a study body language there's going back to this sitting there's a comedian named nate bargatze he's from nashville and when he sits that's the most comfortable and confident looking guy sitting i've ever seen my whole life he sits down on a talk show or on a podcast or whatever. I'll put up a picture of him. If you check

that out, this is the most relaxed guy, the most confident guy in the world. And he's a comedian. This guy is the most confident sitter I've ever seen in my whole life. That's pretty good. That's coming a long way. Katy Perry is actually JonBenet Ramsey.

I went down that rabbit hole too yeah yeah I mean I'm into any of this I'll look at anything for a while

yeah I could see it's it's it's uh it's like your own movie it's like a movie

yeah and so it's it's it's I could see how people you could read it and then if you just keep going and you see one little thing, if you want to believe it, it will never stop if you want to

believe it. Yeah. And you don't even have to believe it to just be like, this is interesting. I saw something the other day that was like, Morgan Freeman is Jimi Hendrix. And I'm like, I want to check it out. I'm into it. I saw one that was who the Jim Morrison was Rush Limbaugh. And I'm like, I don't believe it, but I'd like to check it out. Bill Hicks and Alex Jones. Oh, Bill Hicks is Alex

Jones. Yeah, I mean. That one. Yeah, that is real. Welcome back everybody. It also does this this is the grammy part is my here's my uh i don't know if you can see it close it's uh the uh they give you a nominee medal and so i got this sent to me a couple weeks ago, but so I will have always have this.

That's awesome, man. Grammy nominee. And what did they tell you? I mean, that's, that's a line that's, you're going to be introduced that way forever.

Grammy. For the rest of my life. Yeah. I'm a Grammy nominee. Grammy nominated comedian. You look like Kramer with his motorcycle helmet. They. I'm a Grammy nominee. Grammy nominated comedian. You look like Kramer with his motorcycle helmet. I'll be honest, wearing this helmet when I did this. Well, let's go ahead and bring my wife in, Laura Bargetzi.

All right. First time on the long time. No, I want to say the opposite. First time caller, long time listener. And no, no, I want to say the opposite. First time caller, long time listener. And no, no, I always looked at it the other way. I always want to call into a place and go, first time listener, long time caller. The opposite. He just called in.

So, yeah, this is the helmet I wore. Balled it at Blizzard's in Charleston, West Virginia. Uh, so, uh, yeah, this is the helmet I wore, uh, balded at blizzards in Charleston, West Virginia. So I'm sorry. I don't want to get ahead of you. This is all your idea. So this was my idea. Uh, so wearing, wearing the helmet was, uh, it's, so they were going to do, I might take it off. No, please leave it off. I can't No please leave it off Oh leave it off

I think it's great Yeah So this was my idea I would say take it off Well it's already off Okay So And

I feel protected I think this is you're supposed to take this off but I think it looks cool I don't be bothered I'm a Grammy nominee now dude I can't even go out in public so I'll wear this

I'll be honest with you wearing this I think if I'm not a comedian I could wear this on the red carpet and they would just be like oh yeah that's what someone's doing

he's making a statement I mean there's like yeah I would fit in this if I wore this helmet on the red carpet it would i would have been like i don't know if they would have talked about me they would have been there's so many other people they would have never mentioned it they had been like oh that one guy wore a helmet they're like i mean how many helmets do people

wear every year to the grammys 30 40 yeah y 40? Y'all are like the Moneyball chip. Like y'all were. Yeah, yeah. You're like Moneyball in baseball. Your first ones use analytics. There's rich companies

and there's poor companies and there's 50 feet of crap and then there's Pringles. Wait a minute, man. No, no, no. We weren't that. We were a good company. Was PizzaLicious a big deal for y'all?

I think Pizza-licious slated right in at like a number five in our flavor lineup. Here's the thing, and it's a secret. The red can original, red can, you're doing about 80% of the volume in that red can. I don't know what's funny about this. I mean, this is it's uh number five in the flavor lineup yeah so what is which they probably had it slated in a nine when they probably thought it was coming in at a nine you had red can original is 80 of the business yeah okay and then you had uh um what we called right crisp couldn't call it light we did call it light and then they said we couldn't because it wasn't low-fat enough back then.

So we had to call it right crisp. It was in a silver can. That was usually the number two. Y'all didn't think about making the chip healthier. You just said we'll just change the name a little bit. I mean, it was healthier. Yeah, it was healthier. It was healthier, just not enough.

Not enough. Not enough. I still think it was a smart choice. I mean, you know. And then the green canned sour cream and onion, that's a solid, solid flavor. And then Cheezums. Cheezums was probably a number four. And I'll tell you, and I lose sleep over it even today,

we never got the barbecue product right. Yeah. We never got our fair share of the barbecue business. And that's- We didn't. And that's a big deal in chips. A huge deal in chips. I go barbecue a lot.

Yeah. I go barbecue probably the most I would go of something. And it's Lay's Barbecue, right? Do you eat barbecue Pringles? No. You don't? No. That's true.

That's on us, man. That is. That is on us. That's not on you. That's not on you. The fact that you guys own. Yeah, you own up to it. You own up to it.

I will go do more barbecue pringles. Jared Robertson, just watched The Greatest Average American. I got to know who put syrup in the waffle maker. And I'll tell you who. Breakfast Bates over here. That's who did it. Yeah. Yeah.

They probably could have guessed that. Does it not make sense? Yeah. Once you're done, you're like, yeah, yeah. Yeah. This is all day long. It was, yeah. He actually made me sound better than it really was.

Yeah. It was worse than, yeah. I was trying to be like, you know, show a little class. Yeah. You know. There was a countdown clock, so I could see exactly when know, show a little class. Yeah. There was a countdown clock, so I could see exactly when things were about to go bad. Yeah.

I mean, just the line. You know, like if all of us were in line behind Brian, we would all be like, you almost want to see it. And you'd expect it. You're like, well, let's all go watch. But when people don't know, it's a lot. It's a lot for people. And then he just ruins everybody's breakfast for the

rest of the day got down there early he's got his little mtsu shirt on shorts he's in clothes that you're like did he sleep in them probably i don't know did you think we'd make it to 100 yeah i don't know i don't think i thought of it you didn't think we'd make it? To 100? Yeah. I don't know. I don't think I thought of it. You didn't think we'd make it. Yeah. Brian and I. You knew you'd get here. When I look at both of y'all, I think, golly, how did y'all slip by me for 100 episodes?

No, I don't know if I... No, I mean, I thought... I don't know. I don't know what I thought when we started it. But it's... I mean, every time I go to shows, people come up, listen to it they love it i it's it is fun to do uh so it's great and i i love that i mean i love how much people are listening to it and so it's fun 100 episodes yeah so with 100 episodes uh we we are gonna change up something a little bit. And, yeah, Bates, you go.

You move up to my role, Bates. I'm in your role. Let's switch. People voted, and they wanted more Brian. So we're going to change it up, and we're adding a fourth co-host. Oh, man. So it'll be four of us. I know people, you know, we've mentioned stuff like that.

I think it's fun. I'm excited about it. It's just another comic, someone that's funny that I think fits very well with us. I believe we haven't blurred out right now. And if, I mean, if you're at home and you're trying to guess, you can pause it. If you want to pause it and try to take a shot. I mean, you think they could. I don't know.

Who are we going to guess? He's appeared on the show before. Aaron, do you want to take a guess? Would you have any idea? Yeah, I got a pretty good clue. Well, he's blurred out, Aaron. So how could you see him? Can I guess?

You took that like it was a real beating. I thought we were going to go play long. You made it sound like I really just yelled at you. Oh, yeah. It was a cower over here in the corner. I'm sorry. My bad, dude. Can I guess?

Yeah. I'm going to say it's the guy that used to work with your sister, who's the Bigfoot expert. He is. It is. We brought him in. He was great. He was amazing.

Welcome to Nate Land, Dusty Slick. All right. All right. We're having a good time. Having a good time. Wow, that buildup really had me. You know what I mean? I was more nervous about that buildup than going on shows.

Yeah. Well, look, I think we're big fans, obviously, and I think you fit well with us. You grew up poorer than all of us, which is nice. Yeah, bring in a real poor aspect to this. A lot of money floating around this table yeah well we we didn't have money aaron comes from a pretty wealthy family he comes from royals yes and then but so we me and bates wanted to feel we wanted to be able to punch down and we were like well

who could we get yes oh that's it was in a trailer park and then with galaxy so we're the Milky Way. We're named after that candy bar. And then. That's what they'll have at that wedding. Yeah. Milky Ways. Yeah. Why would we be named after a candy bar? Doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

It's better than Baby Ruth. Yeah, but I wish it should get its own fame. You know? Kit Kat. Yeah. When did the Milky Way get... It got named after the... When did we call it the Milky Way?

Why did they call it the Milky Way? Because it looks like Milky? Butterfinger Galaxy. That'd be a lot of fun. Because you know what's on the outside, but you don't really know what's on the inside. The Milky Way candy bar was created in 1923. The name and taste derived from a then popular malted milk drink of the day, not after the astronomical galaxy.

So when did we start calling it the Milky Way? Yeah. So we did name the galaxy after the candy bar. Well, yeah, we might have. The term was actually used 2,500 years ago so a little bit earlier we call the galaxy the milk way a little longer than the candy bar but i think saying that you named the candy bar after a milkshake seems a little inaccurate they shouldn't let him do it just because you're like man you're kind of just ruining what we're doing with space yeah it really like takes the kind of steam out of it when you you know it's like it's also a

candy bar yeah that's how little serious we take it is we're naming it as and it's not even one of our real great ones oh golly you think a Milky Way is that good oh Oh, my God, dude. You hit a button there. Start this podcast over, man. You think a Milky Way is... Milky Way is, man, the number one, in my opinion. Oh, no way. I enjoy a Milky Way, but number one. Number one. Oh, my gosh. Look, I'll be honest with you.

I don't know if I've even had one saying all this. Oh, dude. But that's how... Over Snickers, dude? It's like a weak Snickers. It's like Snickers with no peanuts. Yeah. It's like a weak snickers yeah snickers with no peanuts yeah it's like a week it's dude a snicker i'm not trying to eat a meal at the candy bar dude i want a milky way it's just nice and smooth caramel chocolate it's the right texture it's the right

size ah it's everything you need it's everything you want snickers or milky way i like i didn't i don't think i've ever had a milky way may or you know i but i people people snickers get rid of them yeah it's your favorite size yeah it's your favorite one it's my favorite one and i don't even think it's close going back to the unsafe feeling was like so the the saying hey bear on these trails so i went down this whole path i've been watching just i'm trying to find any movie that involves a grizzly bear and i watch them and i just watched the edge last night uh with uh that's great alec baldwin anthony hopkins oh yeah and uh there's a there's a bit there's a grizzly bear in it oh it's great oh wow and uh so like these kind of survival wilderness i went down just this

kind of i've had it i was to just this kind of, I was looking up bear attacks. Like the whole, all of it was like how you deal with them. We had to carry bear spray with us. The bell thing though, we wore it the first day and no one else had a bell. And I felt so stupid as we're walking by these people like ding, ding, ding. And then I looked it up and people were like, yeah, those don't, you know, cause it's like, they're not loud enough. Like the bears hearing is like our hearing, I think.

And so it's like, you know, I don't know. It's like, maybe it would work and it's not, you could do it, but it's, if you, I mean, we're walking by children without bells. And so I was like, all right, we were yelling, Hey bear so much. And you just go, Hey bear, just a group of family of four walks by. You're like, you're like, Oh, bear, so much. And you just go, hey, bear. Just a group of family of four walks by. You're like. And you're like, oh. I thought you were a bear.

Sorry, I thought. So we're saying, hey, bear, and all that stuff. And I'll give you one more, hey, bear. Hey, bear. Hey, bear. Just in case the bear can hear the podcast. I think hey, bear should be the response to hello, folks. I like that.

Yeah, that's fun. You know the last podcast that started with hey, bear? Yeah. I love a nice hey, bear a lady that gave me candy wrote a note and it said hey bear yeah to me i like hey bear yeah yeah could be good is hello folks i mean like when it's uh yeah it's like hey bear so you know because i do hello folks i do let's go folks when we start the podcast yeah maybe let's go bears. Hey, bear. Well, as far as bear attacks, it basically said don't do what you suggested.

Don't try to run from the bear. Grizzly bear, that is. Because no one's trying it. They said they can run as fast as a horse. Wow. They'll catch you. It doesn't matter. It's the...

It's the juice. Shake and bake. Barry Sanders could evade a grizzly bear. Yeah. It doesn't matter. It's the... It's the juice of the doubt. Shake and bake. Barry Sanders could evade a grizzly bear. Yeah, I bet so. I bet Barry Sanders could tackle a grizzly bear. Well, he's a running back. Now, if you get... But you tell me, though, he couldn't tackle it?

You tell me Barry Sanders couldn't tackle it? Come on. Come on. You sound like a guy... I feel like you slurred that, too. I did. You sound like an old, drunk like you slurred that sounded like an old drunk dusty and you're like dusty i got are you driving did you very sad you look me

in the face you sound occasion right now in the face you look me in the eyes face

and say best son best son can't take best son can't take a good beer

best son can't take a good beer is that what you're gonna tell me right now

alright Dusty alright bud this guy something's wrong with him Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me

Nate Bargetzi and my wife Laura on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.