The Neighborhood Listen - A Chicken in the Road, Linda's Wallet and A Vincent Price Dinner Party with Craig Cackowski

Episode Date: August 3, 2020

This week on THE NEIGHBORHOOD LISTEN, a woman sends an SOS about a chicken in the road, Joan and Doug play The Newlywed Game and the tale of Linda's wallet. Plus, "Dinner Has A Price" host Bat Mabb (Craig Cackowski) joins Joan and Burnt to talk more about his Vincent Price dinner party!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Look out, Canadian listeners, this one's for you. Coho is a mastercard with an easy-to-use app that makes managing your finances easier. Coho lets you earn cash back, borrow, build your credit history, and so much more. Join over 1 million Canadians and sign up for your free trial today. Download Coho on Google or App Store today or koho.ca for more details. Plus, for any basketball fans out there, get a $75 e-gift card for nbastore.ca when you sign up with the promo code koho75. That's code koho75. Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website. That our network is scared for us to name for legal reasons, but you know which one it is.

All of the posts you hear our characters read are word-for-word real posts from this neighborhood website. Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. This episode's guest, Craig Kakowski. Knock, knock. Who's there? Your neighbor. Good. In Dignity Falls,

you're never alone. You've got the NeighborHap app and us. Burn. And Jode. From coyotes to mail theft to weird things to sell. We'll cover it all. And meet new neighbors as well. We'll chat about any posts you're missing. So just tune in to The Neighborhood Listen. And meet new neighbors as well. Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of The Neighborhood Listen.

That was fun. It's fun, isn't it? I am Joan Pedestrian. And I am Bert Mia Payday. And we are your hosts for this look at the neighborhood of Dignity Falls. Where we explore posts and bring on guests of people who have posted on the NeighborHap. That's right. Which, of course, is all about the goings-on of our... You gave me the power, now I'm just running with it.

No, you're doing great. Keep going. You're not going to get awarded edgewise. Keep running, Forrest, run. Oh, thank you. Oh, my goodness. Now, you might have this in your neighborhood, wherever you live. Sure.

I can't imagine anyone listening to this who doesn't live in Dignity Falls. But it is funny. Maybe there are other people listening. We can't prevent that. No, we can't. It goes out to the world. I think that's wonderful. Because then it puts Dignity Falls on the map.

I guess it makes me feel small. In a good way or a bad way? In a bad way. Oh, no. I feel tiny. You do? Yeah. How come? Well, Dignity Falls is just this little place that probably people haven't heard of, and if they're

listening to it, they have no idea who we are, and it just makes you realize how fleeting life is, and we're here for but a moment, and soon we're dead. Wow. It's kind of a bleak place to go, Berndt. Well, I'm used to it.

Are you having an okay week? I'm, you know, I'm okay. I'm okay. What's going on? You know, things at the pharmacy, they're very busy because we're doing the flu shots. Sure, sure. And everybody's coming in and we run out of the flu shots. Get your flu shots, by the way. Get your flu shots. Get your flu shots. Sure, sure. And everybody's coming in and we run out of the flu shots. Get your flu shots, by the way.

Get your flu shots. Get your flu shots, especially if you are an elderly person. You will die without it. Well, okay. That's not for certain, but it's definitely good to be safe. It's not for certain, but I like to put the fear of God into those people because they need that flu shot. They sure do. I mean, you know what?

They will die without it. Burnt. So what? So what? You're just seeing a bunch of old people. Is this what's bringing you down? Yeah, I think that's it. I mean, you know what? They will die without it. Burnt. So what? So what? You're just seeing a bunch of old people. Is this what's bringing you down? Yeah, I think that's it. I think that's it.

Sometimes you see a collective group of old people, one after another, in and out. You know, that can really sort of put you in touch with your own mortality. I understand. Do you know, at the pharmacy, we have a collective noun for old people. You know, like a murder of crows or a crash of rhinoceros. An unkindness of ravens is my favorite. Yes, that's a good one. That's a good one. We call it an effordent of olds. Oh, that's sort of cute.

It is, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. You got to have fun. Absolutely. You know, I'm fascinated by the idea of false teeth. It's a thing that you could just pull in and out of your head. It is wild. And people might not, if they're good, people won't know that you have them pull in and out of your head. It is wild. And people might not, if they're good, people won't know that you have them. That's true.

I'm hoping that I don't have, I've got pretty good genes. My own grandmother didn't need to lose her teeth and she had them all the way up until the end. Did you say she didn't mean to? Oh no, she didn't need to. She didn't need to lose them. She didn't need to. It's what I mean. So she didn't. She didn't. She actually It's what I mean. So she didn't.

She didn't. She actually, it was willpower. She willed them to stay in her head. You know, both my parents had false teeth. Oh, really? And they lost them at a very young age. It's how they met. They were in a diving accident.

A diving accident. Oh, so they didn't lose it. You lose them because of old age that they in their teams they hit their teeth on rocks at the bottom of a swimming hole what well now first of all that's so dangerous was that down at the was that at the watering hole at the watering hole yes where the bar is now exactly well, is it because of them? That it's a bar now? I thought for some reason that you meant that there's a bar that prevents you from diving. Where it's dangerous where the rocks are.

And I was happy to know that someone had made that safety measure. No, no, no. But you're talking about the water hole, which is the bar. If you're not from Dignity Falls, there is a bar called the watering hole that is built around the old watering hole. It's still in the center of the bar, and there

is a bar around it, so you can't go in there. So, we're both right. But we're both right. You're allowed to throw coins in there to make wishes. Sure, always. But you can't throw bottles or cans in there. You can't put glassware in there. Don't flick your cigarette ashes in there.

Don't do it. It is the smoking area of the bar. You're allowed to smoke near there. But please flick your ashes in the ashtray. I don't care for that place. Oh, it's terrible. It's the worst. And I can't believe it's still open. And I think it's only that they have that, uh, that, uh, retractable

dome that they're allowed to get away with the smoking. Yes. I was there only once it was for a baby shower. Can you imagine? Oh, that's terrible. Oh, it was an awful location, but you know, people, people have these baby showers. They, you know, they, they're going to be grandparents. They don't want to be like, I'm still cool. I'm still cool. So I'll have my baby shower at a bar. Exactly. Right. And you know, you're not fooling anyone no doug and i haven't been out in what i mean when was the last time we went to a bar oh uh maybe a dozen dozen years ago a dozen years that is a long time you haven't been to a bar in a dozen years. Well, you know, we've got...

Easy dozen. I didn't. An easy dozen. Memory's not what it was. Sure. How long do you think it was? We'll play the newlywed game. Doug, don't listen.

I'm going to ask... Oh, boy, this will be fun. Uh-oh. I'm going to ask Joan. Joan, what would you say fun. Uh-oh. I'm going to ask Joan. Joan, what would you say is the last time you and your husband went to a bar? I was just going to say it's been a couple of months. So not a dozen years. Not a dozen years.

But perhaps, you know why? I think I know what he's doing. We went to that lovely wine bar, you know, the new place. What is it called? Adobe or Adoba or Adora? Adoba. Adoba. And, you know, a little wine and tapas. And he hates tapas. He just thinks that's...

He doesn't like the small plates. He doesn't understand it, you know? He doesn't really. Don't they explain it? They do, but it's just, you know, he wants food and a small plate comes with, you know, like a lump of mushrooms, ceviche or something, you know what I mean? I know exactly what you, like a lump of mushrooms, ceviche or something. You know what I mean? I do.

I know exactly what you mean. A lump of mushrooms. To me, I think that's what he thinks tapas is. It just goes, oh, that lump of mushroom place. Right. You know, when we talk about it. Because I love it. Oh, that's what he means.

Okay. I've heard him say that. I know. It's become a saying in our house. And so, and so basically, I don't think he saw that as a bar. He means like the watering hole or one of the sports bars or, you know, like McCrary's in our house. And so, and so basically, I don't think he saw that as a bar. He means like the watering hole or one of the sports bars

or, you know, like McCrary's down the way where we used to go and have everything fried and all the beer and just have a great time. We have not done that. It's true.

We haven't done a trivia night. Yeah. Okay. Now he's gone to the bar on his own plenty of times. We're just talking about together. But I think that's what I was thinking of.

I think of that place as a bar, but he just thinks of it as as, you know, the place where there was, he had mushrooms. Mushroom lumps. Yeah. Do you know what I love about McCrary's is that it's remained unchanged for such a long time. I know.

It still has the C. Same prices. I know. And it still has the C grade outside. Never changed it. There's no way they can, how are they still in business? I don't know. And why are people going in when it's like that?

I don't know. That's wild. I don't know. But I, you know, it's a, God bless them. I'm glad they're still there. Well, are people going in when it's like that? I don't know. That's wild. I don't know. God bless them. I'm glad they're still there. Well, are you in a better mood? I feel like we can. I'm always in a better mood when we start the show. Oh, I'm so glad. Yes, I love coming here and doing

the show with you, Joan. So thank you very much. You cheered me up. Oh, my pleasure. Now let's take it right back down again because we have to get into our posts from the NeighborHap. We do. Here's one. This one, I don't uh how people are going to feel about it i know i feel a certain way about it this comes from amy and she writes there's a chicken in the intersection of montana and franklin pierce boulevard i wish i could stop and help get him out of harm's way but i'm on the bus on my way to work.

She has included a picture of the chicken. He is right smack dab in the middle of the intersection. Oh, dear. And she got a great clear shot of him. Uh-huh. And she sent out this sort of SOS that there's a, I guess if you know of this chicken or if you're nearby and you just want to save a chicken.

Well, that's a busy intersection. It is a busy intersection. I hate that intersection. The construction. And it's got those weird cockeyed lights at the intersection where you're not sure. Is that one for me? Is that for me? Right, right.

Yes. I hate that. No arrows. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And of course, people in the comments, as you can imagine As you're trying to get to the other side There's a lot of the jokes

Oh there's not Oh there's so many And here's what bothers me about it You didn't see the first person post that? Right Exactly So there's more than one? There's more than one same joke over and over again

And no one seems to care about this poor chicken And we have no idea if the chicken is living or dead. Well, I mean, and you have to imagine that it was probably seconds whether or not he lived or died, don't you think? I don't think he's still there. No one thinks he's still in the intersection. He either lived or died. It never occurred to me to go check to see if he's still in the middle of that intersection.

We could have. How long ago was that post? This was a little while ago. I would imagine he's not in the middle. We could have. How long ago was that post? This was a little while ago. I would imagine he's not there anymore. I would too. We're talking this was weeks ago. Oh, well, good heavens. I mean, that chicken is either alive or dead.

He's either alive or dead. There's no other way around it. There isn't. I mean, for gosh sakes, that chicken is either alive or dead. So if you see that chicken, he is alive. If you see that chicken in the middle of the intersection walking around, he is alive. If you see him by the side of the road or in the middle of the intersection lying

down, he's probably dead. Please, either way, let us know. Because you know what I hate? You know, I'm going to tell you one of my hugest pet peeves about this app is there's no follow up. We've been looking for a goddamn missing tortoise for like months now. And everyone keeps on. Well, we feel that we got some follow up.

We think we did. It has to be the same tortoise. It has to be the same tortoise. It has to be the same tortoise. It does. But I'm just not. I'm not sure. I'm just not sure. I'm just not sure.

I know, and the uncertainty is what kills you. Oh, absolutely. It keeps me up at night. Yeah, absolutely. I think about that tortoise. Sure, you should. We all should. Speaking of, so you didn't want to read any of those comments. I'm going to read some comments.

No, I will not. I think it's good. We're talking about the comments. There's no need for me to read these comments. They're all the same. Right, but this is what this section is about, okay? Because sometimes people, someone's going on online to just either get something off their chest

or ask for help or something, and it might not always be the time to make a joke or to be sarcastic, or in this case I think very passive-aggressive, and we do have a problem with that on this board sometimes. Yes, we do. Do you know what I mean? If you have an opinion about how someone feels about a certain thing and you disagree, there's no need

to be, you know, indirectly or directly nasty. I don't think much of the same way. There's no need if you see someone who's a different race than you are to tag them as a suspicious person. We're filtering. We are having that a lot. So, yes, we're filtering those out. Yes, absolutely.

This is a general note going forward. I think that's a good that's a good that's a good reminder. So now this is this is from Marianne and she says birds and no sleep birds and frogs seems like the rain brought them out this year which is interesting because i mean i will say birds and frogs i mean that's kind of a given every every every year this time of year so i don't know what i don't know what the rain i feel like birds I feel like birds all year round. Birds all year round. The birds near my home,

I back up to a walking trail in the hills and they are so loud that I cannot sleep past 5 a.m. Even with my newly installed window shut, humblebrag, the crows and other birds are so loud that it's impossible to sleep. Anyone else notice this lately?

It's driving me crazy. Now, I suppose you could say that, sure, what is she really looking for? I guess she just wanted some. This is what happens. Again, it's just so easy to go on social media and just get some validation and get, you know, just a gripe. She wants somebody on there. I hate birds, too. It's just a gripe.

It's just a gripe. And the object of the gripe can't read. Crows are very smart, but they can't do apps. And I'm going to say, she didn't get the right, sorry, I mean, being in the real estate business, she did not get the right windows because I'm telling you, we've got the best windows in the business that when we did our remodel and you cannot hear a thing. Oh, it's quiet. It's the graven.

100%. Absolutely. Absolutely. That's why we have Doug outside today. It's almost like a liability. And we have Doug in the driveway today, actually. He's in the driveway? Well, because I was hearing some of the sounds of him pushing the buttons and doing stuff.

And sometimes he's doing other things while he's running the engineer. I mean, come on. I know. Doug, what are you doing right now? You're probably doing something. What are you? I'm sweeping up the gravel. See?

And we can't hear that. That's how good. I have an entire gravel driveway. Right. And that's how good these windows are. We can't hear that at all because it is loud. Gravel's pretty loud. It's very loud.

As far as driveways go. So underneath it. So here's the thing. People started to get smart. Okay. Underneath it. First of all, a lot of people just said, like Julie said, hmm, I love it. Sorry that it is hard on you.

No sleep is not good. Which I just think is kind of like a little smart, like, oh, I'm sorry. That's a dig. That's a dig. I think it's a little bit of a dig. And then there's Hillary who decided to get really clever. All right, are you ready for this? The good news is there's help out there for people with this horrible problem.

You can contact your local chapter of CHIRP, C-H-I-R-P, for emotional support. Not familiar with that organization. CHIRP is a non-profit. Well, she's doing a bit. Oh. Okay. CHIRP is a non-profit organization that also aids with nighttime irritation brought on by frog noises as well.

Now, here comes the real passive aggressive part. Ready? Chirp, parentheses, citizens harboring irrational response to peeps. Really helps me. Oh, boy. And now, how does that help anyone? Congratulations with your clever acronym that probably took you hours to think of and she thought, watch this, watch this.

I'm going to really burn. It's going to be a burn. Hillary, you're no Eliza Schlesinger. That is correct. That is correct. And what's more, Jeff pipes in down below, and he says, do you have a contact number for Chirp? Maybe I can send a tweet. Oh, no.

From bad to worse. I mean, people. Why do you do this? Why do you do that? You just wanted to gripe. What is this, Showtime at the Apollo? Where's the Sandman when you need him? Listen, because of the internet, everyone's a comedian.

Everyone's funny. It's true. It is very true, Joan. It's just true. Everyone's hilarious. Everyone thinks they're the second coming of Dick Van Dyke. Exactly. Which is, you know, and he's not dead yet.

And he not dead yet. Leave him alone. Yeah. I saw him singing and dancing in that Mary Poppins Returns. Oh, that Mary Poppins, that lovely to see him in that. It was so wonderful. Here's what I liked about that movie. Okay.

It was just a lateral version of the original Mary Poppins. Sure was. All the things that you liked about the original. Mary Poppins shows up was. All the things that you liked about the original. Mary Poppins shows up. The parents are unhappy. The children see Mary Poppins as magical. The parents don't. They go into a magical land.

Things are animated. They dance with them. Things are animated. They dance with them. There's a crazy relative who does something unusual, defies gravity in some way. Yeah, there's soot everywhere, and it's's dirty and there's an impending doom in London. Yes.

Instead of chimney sweeps dancing, a bunch of bike people dance. That was a little weird. But that's just because I hated it when the boys did their BMX on their skateboarding because it used to, I mean, how many times did I go to the emergency room? Oh, those boys. Those boys. So many broken bones. They've broken every bone in their bodies.

Oh, yeah. Timmy broke his penis. Oh, my word. Yes word yes i didn't even i really didn't realize that was possible i thought it was a myth you did not tell me that before you thought it was a myth i did i didn't know it was a thing you could do why would i know i don't have one you can do it but don't do it well certainly do we have to tell people No, but we do have to take a break. Okay. Speaking of breaks. Now that's funny. That's funnier than anything that was in those comments.

Thank you. We do have to take a break, though, and we will be back with our guest when The Neighborhood Listen returns. Hi, yeah, this is Liz. I'm giving away a box of old international dolls. Uh, you've got a doll that looks like it's from, I don't know, that looks like Mexico. And a doll that looks like it's from Canada. And then one, this one just looks like Daddy Depp. And, uh, and then it got to be a Japanese doll. And then this other one is, well, frankly, a couple of these. This one's just a naked Barbie.

And it's Raggedy Ann and Andy. So if you want them, just give me a call. They've all been Lysoled. And I'd really love to get rid of them because they're haunting my dreams. Thank you. And I'd really love to get rid of them because they're haunting my dreams. Thank you. Welcome back to Neighborhood Listen. I'm still Joan Pedestrian. I'm still Burt Me a Payday. And that's still fun to do.

It's still fun to do. Well, we do have our guest, Joan. And this guy, we are thrilled to have him on the show. So excited. And we're thrilled he's doing this event again. I know. He's done it five times before. This will be the sixth time he's doing it. Number six.

I know. He's done it five times before. This will be the sixth time he's doing it. Number six. And if you've never, if you live in Dignity Falls and you've never seen this, you're missing out because it's truly, it's magical. It's magical. Well, right. But I hear that it's different every time. So I have questions about what it's going to be this time.

I didn't know that. Yeah. Yes. Well, that's what I've heard. Okay. Then I have questions. I have even more questions than I have before. Yes, yes.

This gentleman, you mostly know him from working at the post office, and he is the guy who will, if you have gone there with the pink slip, he will get you the package that the post office, for whatever reason, refused to leave at your address. Which Berndt hates, by the way. This is a real— I guess that came out a little bit, but I do hate it. I have a parcel locker on my front porch. You can put a package in there for that reason. I'm sick of getting those pink slips saying nobody was home.

It doesn't matter. I don't need to be home. Put it in there, push the button, and it's locked. I get it. I get it. No, that's not why he's here. I wish I hadn't brought it up because I feel like I'm detracting from this wonderful event. But we have him here. He does an event called Dinner Has a Price.

And this is the sixth time he's doing it. He is going to be doing it at Danuto's. Oh, yes. Uh-huh. Which is a terrific restaurant. Uh-huh. Italian. It's Italian food with a Middle Eastern flair.

I love their hummus lasagna. Oh, it is. You don't think it's going to be good. No, you don't. And when you first try it, you don't think it is good. Hummus-sagna is what Doug calls it. Hummus-sagna, that's fun. And he gets a craving for it, you know.

But by the end, if you you tough it out by the end you're like i really enjoyed that there's a beginning middle and end i'll tell you what there really is it's a journey it's like childbirth there's a transition moment you're like i can't do this and then you finish absolutely before you know it you're done before you know it you're done uh here's what happens let me read the event uh as it's posted here. It's happening at Denudo's. Vincent Price aficionado Bat Mab returns to Dignity Falls' Denudo's as

Vincent Price to cook Italian culinary delights. There will be a three-course meal celebrating Vincent Price's fondness for gardening, in, and eating the foods of Italy. Food, fright, and fun will abound. And this is helpful information in case

you're not sure why this is happening. Vincent Price was a stage and film actor with a passion for life, art, and food. Oh, right, that's included in the post. Seating is limited, so get your tickets ASAP. And then there's a link to the tickets. And we have him right here. Bat Mab is here in the studio.

Bat Mab, everybody. I feel like we should clap. Thank you for being here. We should clap. Thank you so much for having me. Oh. Bat, thank you for being here. You're sort of doing it.

Yeah, I think so. You're sort of doing it. I'm sort of doing what? Oh. Oh. Never mind. Never mind. I'm using my own voice right now.

Oh, of course you are. Of course you are. Bat, this is the sixth time you've done Dinner Has a Price. Yes. And you are the titular price. I am the my own voice. Oh, of course you are. This is the sixth time you've done Dinner Has a Price. Yes. And you are the titular Price. I am the titular Price. I am a huge aficionado of the life and work of Vincent Price, who, of course, was a stage and film actor with a passion for life, art, and food. Yes, that is established.

And Vincent, VP, as we call him, had an enormous taste for Italy, specifically gardening in Italy. He loved to garden in Italy. And specifically gardening in. Can you explain what that means? He didn't have a garden at home in Hollywood. He and his wife, Eleanor, would take trips to Italy to garden specifically. Wow, that is glamorous. Just to garden. They would fly over Italy just to garden. Just to check on the specifically. Wow, that is glamorous. Just to garden.

They would fly over Italy just to garden. Just to check on the tomatoes. Yes, they would. Because the soil, you see, is very rich. Oh, sure, sure. The soil is very rich. Now, this is back in the days when you could travel with gardening implements and they wouldn't think you could.

Oh, right. Nowadays, you're limited of how many hoes you can bring. Correct. In more ways than one. But now you, what do you mean? Oh, I was just having a little fun. But nowadays, because some of those implements, you'd have to check them. You'd try to bring a rake or a trowel and they, yes, they'd confiscate it immediately.

Oh, for sure. Yes. Both on a lemon. confiscated immediately. Oh, for sure. Yes. Post 9-11. When did you become an aficionado of the late Vincent Price? Well, he wasn't late.

At the time I became a fan, he was early. Oh, now you're having fun. He is having fun. I'm having the most fun. I think you are. As a child, I watched him as Egghead on Batman. Certainly. So for people of a

certain generation, that's what he was best known for. And then probably a later generation would know him for his freestyle impromptu rap performance on Michael Jackson's Thriller. That's right. And Grizzly Ghouls from Everton. Oh, and that used to give me the chills when he would do that.

Terrifying. Oh, my gosh. I was so scared when he would come in and do that. It's one of the scarier raps. It is one of the scarier raps. It's probably the scariest rap. I never thought of it as a rap, but I guess it is because it does rhyme. There is a rap at the end of Tales from the Hood, which I think is meant to be somewhat scary. Probably more funny than scary.

But the thriller rap is terrifying. It's when he says, corpse's shell, that part, right? I can't do it like you do it. What about when he goes, well, I can't do it the way the VP would do it. Oh, well, I think it's different. But you can come close, I think.

And you even got that mustache. Look at that. It's a beautiful pencil-thin mustache. Yes, this is not drawn on. No, it's the real thing. Oh, sure. I hone the mustache every morning. Oh, you hone it?

What does that entail? It involves taking a hone. And I spend about two hours on the mustache every morning. Two hours? Yes. That seems like a very long time. Well, the last thing I'd want to do is to show up at dinner has a price, six, and for people to say

like, he doesn't, the mustache, something's wrong. Certainly. Of course. The mustache is wrong. Well, because you get some, you have a real fan base, don't you? You have some fans that come every time. That's how I've heard that you sort of shake it up a little differently each time. But you have a very loyal fan base. Is that not true? Yes, yes.

I mean, there's people who've been... They take it very seriously. There's people who've been to all six at this point, or hopefully will be at all six, will have been to all five. Of course. I have no doubt. I have no doubt. Now, you two were at the Price of Dinner 3 gnocchi exit, right? Yes, that's right. In which we served gnocchi for all three

courses. It was amazing. And it was, like, I did feel trapped in kind of a scared way. I remember feeling, before the third course came, I said, there's no way it's going to be gnocchi again. There's no way. Yes, yes. And then it was. I know. Then you got a dessert gnocchi.

Which I'd never heard of before. That was actually kind of delicious. I like it. It was a sweet and savory. A little I'd never heard of before. That was actually kind of delicious. I like it. It was a sweet and savory. A little vanilla and a little potato chip. That's right. It was a gnocchi dessert

that involved vanilla and potato. It was crunchy gnocchi. It was odd. Just a little bit of potato chip. A little bit. Now, here's something. You know what?

I was just looking at the post, Bernd, and we didn't scroll down enough because we missed it. There's a little more description. Oh, no. There's a little more description of your event here that's coming up soon, Bat. So can I just read this and have you talk about it? Because I didn't realize this is actually celebrating.

It says, for the sixth year, it's preparing a meal from the far-flung and haunted corners of the world to celebrate the master of menaces' 108th birthday. Oh. And the meal highlights the cuisine of Italy through a 1970s American perspective. I get that. The performance is set in a cursed Italian villa, and the audience must help Vincent undo the spell using... Wait, I'm not done. The audience must help Vincent undo the spell. Using...

Wait, I'm not done. Using the most mystical of Italian elixirs, the set menu consists of appetizers, entree, and dessert. And you are very kind to say this. Please note if you have a vegetarian preference. First of all, I'm embarrassed that I missed quite a lot. Quite a lot. Quite a lot lot we just didn't scroll enough I guess I didn't scroll

enough because that is something else yes I think there was a link and maybe that and I clicked on that that's what popped up now please explain to me this now see this is very different from what you did with Miyoki Exit so this is going to be a haunted villa.

They're going to transform Danudos into a haunted villa. And there's going to be—can you say anything about the Italian elixirs? What does that mean? Is that a clue? Are we supposed to come prepared? Also, will there be smoke effects? You have to tell people if there's going to be smoke. Or strobe lights.

Smoke effects and strobe lights, yes. People can have seizures. Okay, well, good to know. Noted. Duly noted. Yes, there will be gunshots. There will be smoke effects. There will be strobe lights. Oh my. And please also let me know about gluten-free

or vegetarian options. I won't honor them, but it's good to know. It's just good to know. Maybe they get to sit in the back. Well, it's tough with an them, but it's good to know. It's just good to know. Maybe they get something in the back. Well, it's tough with an Italian, with a 70s Italian menu. Of course,

there was no such thing as gluten-free. Talk about that a little bit. So 70s and 30s. Is there too much going on for this one? Well, there is a, you threw a lot at the wall.

I'll tell you what, if there's anyone who could do it, it's Batman. And I think people are getting their money's worth. Absolutely. You can't,

nobody's going to walk out of there saying, well, I wish you'd done more. No, that's never going to happen. Some of VP's best work was in the 70s, as you know. And the abominable Dr. Pheebs. Is it Pheebs? I never knew.

I thought it was Phibes. Well, I'm just saying it out loud for the first time. It's never uttered in the film. It's never uttered in the film. It's never uttered in the film. Oh, you're not sure who the doctor is. Everyone in the film is wearing a lap coat. That's right. That's correct.

There's several, several doctors. Which one is the abominable one? And how do you pronounce his name? That is the eternal mystery of the abominable doctor. I see. Pheebs. Uh-huh. one and how do you pronounce his name that is the eternal mystery of the abominable doctor i see phoebes also a nickname for phoebe so that that could be friends um and also the uh the dangerous professor block was another thing that he did at the time the grotesque sergeant. Oh, my.

I don't know any of these. Manderly, yes. I don't know any of these. I just know, was it House of Wax? Yes, yes. That's from the 50s. Oh, sorry. Long ago. I'm not familiar with the 70s.

In the 70s, he did a series of films that consisted of an adjective, an occupation, and an unusual last name. It was kind of an auteur period. Certainly. Certainly. Yeah. So we're going to honor those particular and also we'll play disco, you know, Oh,

that's fun. Oh, that is fun for the seventies bit. Yeah. And I'm, I've kind of got a hybrid suit of a traditional Vincent price, um, uh,

tailored suit. Uh, that's also kind of a John Travolta. Oh, I see. Here's the big question. Will you have an ascot or not? All right. Well, that's the eternal mystery, isn't it?

Oh, that's... You have to get your tickets now. Absolutely. And so the food will be 70s food? The food will be 70s Italian food. Okay. Yes. And what does that entail? Well, this is

this is what Italians were eating in the 70s. Oh, I see. So not Italian food, not American Italian food. It says, because it says 70s American it's Italian food through 1970s American perspective.

Now, what does that mean exactly? Political perspective or nutritional perspective of the 70s? Well, we weren't as healthy back then, were we? Yes, we didn't know. We didn't know. There was no gluten-free back then. There wasn't. Their gluten was in everything.

Right. There was also a lot of disillusionment because of Vietnam and Watergate. Of course. And so I think. And that affected Italian food a lot. Those long gas lines. Yes. And Jimmy Carter lusted in his heart. That's right. So we're going to try to

factor all of that in. Will you incorporate the national malaise? Yes, the national malaise. If you don't taste it in every bite of pasta, then I'm not doing my job. That's reason alone to go, to capture that in a dish. And you're encouraging patrons to wear a sweater because it will be cold. Please wear a sweater.

They will not turn the heat on. It's going to be bone chilling. And what do you mean by Italian elixirs? I mean, do we need to prepare anything for how to solve this? Not solve it, but exercise the demons. Well, solve is good because there's also going to be an escape room element. Oh, on top of all of this? Bat, you really are shooting for the stars. You have modernized the show.

This is exciting. That is true. That's a good update. It's true. If Vincent Price were alive today, wouldn't he be running escape rooms? I think so. 100%. Whether people came or not.

At least going to them. Yes. He would at the very least be going to them. But I could see him on Shark Tank becoming the sort of mascot of a licensed franchise of escape rooms. Absolutely. Yes. I wish that was happening now.

So do I. Elixirs, Bat. Elixirs. Okay. Well, you want me to tell you all of the Italian Elixirs, Bat! Elixirs! Okay, well, you want me to tell you all of the Italian elixirs? Well, I just want to know what you mean by saying that the way that they're going to help lift the

curse is a mix of Italian elixirs. Isn't that what it says? What does that mean? Yes, well, you're familiar. It says, the performance is set in a cursed Italian villa, and the audience must help Vincent undo the spell using the most mystical of Italian elixirs. I mean, how am I not supposed to ask a question about that?

Okay. When you first arrive in the room, everyone will be served your choice of an Italian elixir. Okay. That couldn't be clearer. I will have a tray of snifters set up and pick the elixir that speaks to you the most. They're going to be multicolored and multihued. And so the elixir that you pick will point you on a particular story that you will be. How will that happen?

Oh, wow. This is unbelievable. Look, there will be 17 different elixirs on the tray. So 17 different plot points, ostensibly, with endless permutations. 17 entirely different plots. This is like a choose-your-own-elixir. It's like a choose-your-own-elixir. It's like a choose-your-own-elixir, exactly. Yes, so whatever elixir you pick will point you down a particular plot thread.

And I will be keeping track. I'm not going to ask about the mechanics of that. No, no, no. I'm going to assume he has it all figured out. I will be keeping track of which diner is on which storyline. Wow, wow. And we'll be factoring that into my interactions with them. Now, of course, in addition to sitting alongside the guests

and quoting famous Vincent Price lines and improvising in character. So fun. I'm also cooking the meal. At the same time. This is the part that blows my mind. You're juggling a lot of balls. I'm going back and forth.

You really are. Are you prepared? Do you feel ready? Do you get nervous before these? You know, I think I do in the preparation of it, but on the day, it's a blur. Honestly. It just kind of flies by. And did Vincent Price get nervous before a performance?

I don't know. He never seemed like it. He never seemed like it. He didn't. He was cool as a cucumber. Yes. And I tried to elicit the same reaction. He was cucumber going to be one of the elixirs?

Oh, I've revealed too much already. That's my favorite. That's what I would get. Well, this sounds like- Like spa water. Yes, yes. Yes, yes. You know what I've felt my-

But with magical properties. Do you know what I find so refreshing is water with just a hint of a taste of another thing in it. Yes. Oh, I love that. I love it. Like water with a single grape at the bottom. Exactly.

You read my mind, Pat. Now, Pat, this sounds like we just want to encourage everyone to get their tickets for this now because it's going to sell out. It always does. Yes. I mean, I bet you the second people hear this, you're going to start seeing your ticket price. Well, your ticket number go up. You might just sell out because this is just. And you might raise the price of tickets.

And you might raise the price of tickets. Remind me what I'm charging for this. You know what's funny? It's not anywhere to be seen. It's not on the post on NeighborHap. I was going to ask you. If you not on the post on NeighborHap. But I guess if you go to the ticket link. Oh, there it is.

$30. That's very reasonable. That is so reasonable. Look at all you get. Oh, my word. You get an elixir. 17 different kinds. You get Italian 70s food. You get a vision price performance.

You get an escape room. You get 17 different choose your own adventures. That's right. The dinner will not end until everyone escapes, too. Oh, boy. Well. And will you be making, at the end, will you be making your famous budino? Yes.

Of course, we are always in with a classic Italian butterscotch pudding budino. And what I like is he says, and this is a spoiler, but he says, boo-dino. Oh, that's right. I do remember that. Because of scariness. Yes. It's one of the scarier puddings. Well, Beth, thank you so much for being here.

Just one quick question before you go. Can you get them to put the packages in the parcel locker? Because that's why I have it. Oh, come on now. I know I said I wasn't going to talk about it. No, no. You've got to bring your slip to the post office. That's how it works.

That's how it's always worked. And that's how it will continue to work. Okay, Pat. I told you I shouldn't have said anything. I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help myself. We're going to take a break. When we return, we're going to wrap things up here on The Neighborhood Listen. It's Ben.

I'm doing a movie sale. It's three movies for $15. That means $5 each. Around the World in 80 Days, National Treasure, and Shrek 2, all on DVD. And Shrek 2 is full screen. These are in used slash very good condition. They are three kids and family movies. And they're perfect for kids and family movies and they're perfect for kids and families movie time.

Plus they're enjoyable entertainment. So again, it's $15 total for three or you can buy them for $5 each. Um, national treasure is Nicholas cage and he's looking for the National Treasure and then Around the World in 80 Days is Jackie Chan and he has to do the title and then Shrek 2 is like Shrek 1 but

it keeps it goes on from 1 so movie movie lovers delight check it out So, Movie Lover's Delight. Check it out. Welcome back to The Neighborhood List, and it's time to wrap things up.

We just have a couple posts before we send you on your way. That's correct. Boy, oh boy. I just can't stop thinking about that show. I'm very, very excited. I can't wait. I really hope we get to go. Doug, we should go. We should. All right. We'll look into it. Will this count as a bar? I don't stop thinking about that show. I'm very, very excited. I really hope we get to go. Doug, we should go. We should.

All right. We'll look into it. Will this count as a bar? I don't know. Well, 17 elixirs? I think so. I think so. And you know what?

I think you're going to get plenty of food. So you can't complain this time. It sounds like a lot of food. Sounds like a lot of food. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. All right. I have a real quick one.

This is kind of mysterious. This comes to us from Linda. And this is the lost and found section. Okay. The headline is wallet returned! Exclamation mark. And then in the body it says wallet returned. No punctuation.

So I guess there was a wallet that had been taken or the same thing was written twice yes with with title was degrees of emphasis oh which one had the exclamation title of the exclamation point and then the uh the body just uh reinforced gently reinforced what the subject line yelled. That's amazing. Now, I would understand a post that says wallet found. Yes. Right? Exactly. Now, is the person saying the wallet was returned the owner of the wallet?

Because otherwise it makes absolutely no sense. Here's what I think this is. Okay. Yes, you did say it was mysterious. It forces you to do a little detective work. Yes. I think this Linda thinks that everyone's following her story about her wallet. Do you think it is her wallet?

I think so. Okay. I think so. And I think she must have posted. I didn't. And forgive me. I didn't do any research on this. I would imagine she posted earlier.

I lost my wallet. My wallet is missing. I see. And then as if everyone is on the edge of their seat, what's going on with Linda's wallet? Can't sleep at night. I can't eat a bite. I'm worried about Linda's wallet. I'm worried about

Linda's wallet. And then you're refreshing neighbor app every day. Exactly. Linda's wallet was empty. And then she writes while it returned. Well, Linda, I got it. I have to say this,

Linda, get over yourself. Oh, I don't like to be, look, I'll be honest with you. Okay. I haven't eaten since breakfast.

I have a burrito that's sitting here in a container. And God knows blood sugar has dipped. And God knows you didn't even make yourself a piece of toast. Cause you do know how to make any food i as i just recently i bet toast i could figure out but uh yeah i if you if you if you put me in front of some bread and some and a toaster i guess i figure it out but i've never done it before. Yeah, it's interesting because you said some bread and some toast, which is the same thing. I mean, bread is toast. You know that, right, Bert?

I mean, that's how it starts and how it begins. Toast begins as bread. I think I get that. I think I get that. Yeah. Well, you know what? That's a start. It is, isn't it?

Yeah. So there you go, Linda. I'm sorry. Forgive me if my hunger and my low blood sugar is making me lash out at you- And you're still upset thinking about the packages. You are still upset. I'm still so mad. Thinking about that.

You heard him. He just said that's just the way it is. I know. That's the thing that bothers me the most is when they won't give you an explanation of their dumb system. Yeah. Anyway. Of course, that's parenting.

Well, that makes sense. You never give an explanation of our dumb system. I mean, you can't explain it to kids. How many times have we said, Doug, to the kids, that's parenting. Well, but that makes sense. You never give an explanation of our dumb system. How many times have we said dumb to the kids? That's just the way it is. I mean, every day. That makes me even angrier that that bat was treating me like a child. I am not a child. I'm a grown pharmacist.

This is true. This is true. You're one of those grown pharmacists. Why don't you go with yours before I pass out? Okay. Let's get you to that burrito. This one just says free dirt. And there is truly burnt,

just a picture of dirt, a dirt pile, if you will. I mean, this is a lot of dirt. If you look at the scale of it, does it not look like that dirt is towering over that car? You know what it puts me in mind of is the film Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Exactly.

When Richard Dreyfuss went bananas. With the mashed potatoes. Went bananas over that dome. Then he eventually started building a model of it in his home with dirt. He did so weird. He turned out to be right. So weird. He turned out to be right.

He did turn out to be right. You know what's funny about that film is that he destroyed his marriage. Yes. And he was a father to a couple children. He did. Yeah, I worry about that little boy. And then with no compunctions, he gets on the spaceship. This is a big spoiler for Close Encounters,

but he gets on the spaceship and flies away to space. Do you know my mom used to tell us that? Me and my sister were growing up. She would say, if a spaceship comes, I'm going. I'm leaving. Wow. And we would cry and say, you would just leave us? She absolutely, she loves the occult and she loves anything

extraterrestrial. It sounds like she wouldn't say it as a correctional measure or as a threat. She would just say, I'm just letting you know. No, she's letting us know. She would go. She would go. No questions asked. If a UFO came and said, would you like to come with us? Today. I absolutely would go with you. She'd still go. Wow. But even, but to tell that to a little child. Yeah. So I was very, very afraid of aliens. So I did not like that Close Encoun? Today. I absolutely would go with you. She'd still go. Wow. But even, but to tell that to a little child. Yeah.

So I was very, very afraid of aliens. So I did not like that Close Encounters movie. I don't blame you. Because it was, it was, I was, it was like my life. I don't blame you. So this is just, says free dirt and underneath it says free dirt. Lots of it. Ready for pickup. Stop by. That is wildly assumptive. Is that a word?

Assuming. It's wildly assuming. No, I think assumptive is a word. Oh, well, we'll have to look it up. I don't know if's wildly assuming. I think that's the word. I don't think assumptive is a word. Oh, well, we'll have to look it up. I don't know if it... I don't know if it is. Assuming can be used that way. Well, I just think it's a huge assumption.

A bit of a sticky wicket here. Yes, yes, a little bit. To assume is all I really want to say. To assume that someone has the means to pick up this close encounters size mound, this Dreyfus size mound, if you will, of dirt. It is a Dreyfus-y amount of dirt. But here's the thing. And we have to remember this, Joan. There's people, there's people out there for whom this dirt is a goldmine.

They look at that post and they say, whoa, are you, are you going to be there in five minutes? You know, Doug said this to me. He said that dirt is really, it's a premium. It's something that you need for all sorts of, I don't know, things in the backyard and compacting this and backyard this and backyard that. And he said, you just can't come by dirt of this magnitude. And so it's a big deal. And I was just like, it just seems like, you know, deal with your own dirt. Deal. And I was just like, it just seems like, you know, deal with your own dirt.

What if you work at the cemetery? You're a grave digger. And the dirt there is unattractive. But this dirt, I got to say, I'm not an expert. It looks like nice dirt. It does look like nice dirt. Do we still have grave diggers? That sounds like such a very old-fashioned thing.

Well, whether they use a shovel or they use a backhoe, they do have to dig a grave. And then they have to put the dirt back on top. And sometimes maybe that dirt doesn't look that nice. So you're thinking maybe some grave diggers want to go get this dirt. I'm saying that's the most logical. That's the number one. It's the number one. That's exactly right. Okay.

All right. Well, grave diggers, have at it. However many there are of you in Dignity Falls. It bears repeating Well, Gravediggers, have at it. However many there are of you in Dignity Falls. It bears repeating. Gravediggers, have at it. Well, Joan, that's all the time we have for this episode. We want to thank everyone for listening. And thank you all to our neighbors on NeighborHap for posting their posts and letting us use them.

Bye. And goodbye.