The Neighborhood Listen - A Gallon of Dog Shampoo, Turtle Sayings and A Tortoise Follow-Up w/ Jean Villepique

Episode Date: July 20, 2020

This week, Burnt and Joan go in deep on processed wool allergies, baby flamingos, and what really happened at the Dignity Falls Apartments? Plus, Christine (Jean Villepique) stops in to discuss dog shampoo and unrequited love. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Look out, Canadian listeners, this one's for you. Coho is a mastercard with an easy-to-use app that makes managing your finances easier. Coho lets you earn cash back, borrow, build your credit history, and so much more. Join over 1 million Canadians and sign up for your free trial today. Download Coho on Google or App Store today or koho.ca for more details. Plus, for any basketball fans out there, get a $75 e-gift card for nbastore.ca when you sign up with the promo code koho75. That's code koho75. Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website. That our network is scared for us to name for legal reasons, but you know which one it is.

All of the posts you hear our characters read are word-for-word real posts from this neighborhood website. Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. This episode's guest, Jean Villipeak. Knock, knock. Who's there? Your neighbor. Good. In Dignity Falls,

you're never alone. You've got the NeighborHap app and us. Burn. And Joan. From coyotes to mail theft to weird things to sell. We'll cover it all. And meet new neighbors as well. We'll chat about any posts you're missing. So just tune in to the Neighborhood Listen.

Hello and welcome back everybody to Neighborhood Listen. Beautiful. Oh, thank you so much, Bernt. He is Bernt Mia Payday. Bernt Mia Payday. And with me as always is Joan Pedestrian. That's right. Hi, everybody.

Hi. We are your hosts for this neighborhood podcast dedicated to the neighborhood of Dignity Falls. That's right. That's right. Bringing you the up-to-date posts that are happening in our neighborhood. That's right. And getting to know our neighbors a little bit better by having guests on the show. That's exactly right.

We use the NeighborHap phone application. That's right. And we look at the posts there. What are people posting about in Dignity Falls? Besides coyotes. Besides coyotes. So many coyotes. Just take it for granted that there's a coyote post or a thousand that's out there waiting for you to peruse.

No kidding. There was a post about a hawk that had a rabbit in its talons. And I'll tell you what, that is nature, sir. It's just nature. It's just nature. But it's powerful. It's powerful. It's like, oh, damn, like that bird ate that rabbit.

I mean, that's what the bird's going to do. I know. And here's what I want to say. A lot of times people, if they see, like, let's say somebody posted a picture of the hawk with the rabbit in it. It's mighty talons. Yes. Someone did, by the way. Okay.

We don't even have to say someone did it. Someone did it, Bert. Then let's say that you said that and it was true. And it was. Sometimes you'll see responses to these posts like oh you didn't try to help the rabbit but now it is not our responsibility to interfere with nature that's right people get sometimes people get mad at nature documentaries and they say why don't you help if that baby iguana is having such a hard time with all those snakes why don't you run over

there and chew the snakes oh i can't watch those d watch those. Doug knows. I can't. He set up in the movie room that new Netflix, that Earth one, and my God, there was a bird. It was a baby flamingo that got stuck in the mud. I can't talk about it. I'm going to cry. It's just unbelievable. That goddamn baby flamingo. Why did they have to do that?

Is the bird okay? It was caked with mud. I don't know. They didn't follow up. They didn't follow up. They didn't follow up or you stopped watching because it sounded like you said you stopped watching. It was a little bit of both. I just was done after that. It would be strange if the Nature Documentary said, look what happened. A baby flamingo got stuck in the mud.

Well, or maybe, you know, it'd be cute. Let's check out Stingrays. Well, it'd be cute if they did one of those 80s movies at the end, you know, where they played like, don't you forget about me. And I was like, the baby flamingo ended up being fine and was president of his class in the Serengeti High School. I don't know. I'm just riffing.

Is that what it's called? It's a good riff. Oh, thank you. Well, you're drawing on your theater training. Well, I have exciting news on that front. Is that so? Well, it's very preliminary, but we are thinking of maybe getting together a committee to talk about a musical for this year.

And we haven't decided on a title yet. We don't know. We're looking at what we could get licensing wise. And of course, I'm looking for a part that would be appropriate for me. Of course. Doug's on board. He knows that when I'm working on a show, it takes a lot of my time. But he's probably going to be doing sound for us.

Wow. Well, you can't ask for anyone better. Cannot. Oh, thank you. Doug does the sound for us. Wow. Well, you can't ask for anyone better. Cannot. Oh, thank you. Doug does the sound for this show. He does. We can't see him. He is in a separate room.

Where is he today? Oh, he's in the downstairs bathroom. In the tub. Why in the tub? Well, and I could be wrong. Maybe acoustics for whoever is engineering don't matter for where he is at. But I just wanted to see because as I'm listening to the playbacks, you know, the acoustics for whoever is engineering don't matter for where he is at. But I just wanted to see because as I'm listening to the playbacks, you know, the acoustics are different. So acoustics

are different. It seems like it's right for us to be in the kitchen on the island here. Yes. But we might switch that up as well. We might move into the sunroom. Really? Well, I'm just warning you. Wow. There might be some changes coming up. Now, so far, no one is allowed in the sunroom. Well, that's not true. It's just it's it's it's for special occasions Now, so far, no one is allowed in the sunroom. Well, that's not true. It's just, it's for special occasions. It's not that no one is allowed.

I mean, you know, my July being hurt friends are not allowed because they'll just trash the place. They'll trash the place, absolutely. And they'll just, you know, they'll get their vape smoke all over it. Oh, the jewel. I can't even talk about it. I can't get into it. It's upsetting. But what is not upsetting is that we are hopefully going to have a show, and I will give you all the information.

Of course, I'll be mentioning auditions when that comes up, when that comes up. But it's very preliminary right now. Joan, this is thrilling, and I couldn't be happier to hear that you all are thinking about getting together and possibly talking about doing a show. Right. Yes. That's where we're at right Right. Yes. That's, that's where we're at right now. Yes.

Very non, noncommittal, but I'm keeping my, I'm just keeping my expectations low. Okay. I'm, I'm, I'm keeping mine sky high.

Oh, well, thank you. Maybe we'll meet somewhere in the middle. Yes. All right. So, um,

we'd each like to read, uh, a post we've selected from neighbor Hap, um, that concern the goings on here in dignity falls. And Joan, would you like to read a post we've selected from NeighborHap that concerned the goings-on here in Dignity Falls. And Joan, would you like to go first or would you like me to go first? I'll go first. All right. Now, this is interesting.

This is from Heidi. This says, looking for raw wool to spin. I know who this is. Oh, you do? Yes, I do. Oh, my gosh. Okay, well, let's read it and then you can tell me who she is. I am wondering if anyone has or knows of someone who has sheep, alpacas, et cetera, that are going to be sheared. If so, I would be very interested in the raw wool for the purpose of spinning into usable textile.

I mean, that's a pioneer woman right there. What is Heidi's story? Well, I know Heidi from coming into the CVS, and she was looking for an anti-allergen. She said she had a problem with processed wool. So she wanted to see if there was some sort of pill or tincture or salve that could help her with that issue. And unfortunately, there was not. Oh. There's nothing. If you're allergic to processed wool.

You just can't wear it. You just can't wear it. You just can't be around it. You just can't wear it. So she's looking for just the good stuff, as she called it. But God, I wouldn't know anything to do with that. I mean, because if you just get the wool, that means she hasn't even, that means she knows how to spin it into even just the yarn.

You know, I don't even know how to do that. I don't know. I just go to Michael's and I, you know. Well, actually, I mean, let's face it. I just go online and I buy something that's already crocheted because I never learned how to do it. I never became one of those crochet moms. I just didn't do it. You had other priorities.

I couldn't figure it out with the needles and the motion. I just couldn't figure it out. I kind of looked at it and I was like, oh, that looks hard. And I just didn't, you know. It's like chopsticks. It's like chopsticks. Is it? Chopsticks are hard, too.

I struggle with them as well. Maybe I'm just thinking of the shape. Well, they're very similar. But they work so differently. They're used for different things for sure. This is, I mean, you're not going to get an argument from me there. I just felt bad because I feel like it was a very domestic kind of homemaker thing to do. And I just never took to it.

You know, I was never able to crochet a blanket for a child. You know, I just bought one at Pier 1 Imports. That's, I, personally, I think that's just as good. Obviously, homemade things are nice. But when you really think about it, and I hate to say this because I think I'm going to get a lot of backlash. Homemade cards are terrible. Oh. They sell them for a reason because they're very good.

They're very good. Oh, but they're very expensive. You don't like a heartfelt card? What about if it's from a child? What about from a little child who makes you a card? No, thank you. Oh, my word, Bert. Well, I mean, I get that.

Oh, my goodness. I get that kids don't have a lot of money. This is because you never had cousins and you never had aunts and you never had uncles. Yeah, I'm an only child of only children. Yes, that's right. Well, now you're going to get backlash from me right now in this moment. I'm getting it. I'm getting it.

It's happening in real time. I don't know. I don't know what to say to that because I just think. Well, I didn't mean to offend you or July, if you're the boys. You know what we do in my family when one of us forgets a card? We do a verbal card. How does that work exactly? Well, we just say, you know, sorry, I didn't get you a birthday card, but now I'm going to say to you, Doug, I respect you and love you as a card. We do a verbal card. How does that work? Well, we just say, you know, sorry, I didn't get you a birthday card.

But now I'm going to say to you, Doug, I, I, I respect you and love you as a husband. And I think that you're wonderful. And I wish you the happiest of birthdays. Love Joan. A poem or anything. Well, my goodness. Did you not hear what I just said? I just said some really nice things to him.

Now, that's much better than paying Hallmark to just come up with some bullshit poem, you know, of five stanzas that pretty much just says the same thing over and over again. Well, now, this from the lady who goes to Michael's online to buy the knitted blanket for a child. And you realize it's not the right envelope for the right card. Joan, I can't believe we're having this argument on

microphone. Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, too. I'm sorry. No, look, it's fine fine were you apologizing to me or to the listener i was i was apologizing to me i was apologizing to you both i apologize to all of us as well okay let's get let's get back let's get to our posts because i think we could use the diversion all right anybody who has an alpaca and they're about to shear them, call I. Yeah, if you in this urban area

have a bunch of farm animals. I think she's kind of shooting for the stars a little bit too high. I don't know who she thinks is going to see this because you can only see stuff in your own neighborhood. We don't have alpacas in this area. I don't know. We've got a few.

We've got some of the old farm roads on the outskirts, but I think they only got goats. I think so. That's all I've seen out there. And you can't make anything. You can shear a goat. What do you do?

Goat yarn? That's not a thing. You could give a goat a haircut, I guess. Sure. It's not going to get you a blanket. But I mean, can you imagine? It's going to get you a little teeny washcloth. Exactly.

Could you imagine booking an appointment for a goat at a salon? They have the long beards, too. You can get some hair out of them. Okay, Doug. That's right. Okay, Doug. Here's my post this week. This comes to us from Ricky.

Ricky asks, what happened at Dignity Falls Village Apartments? I just got home, and they are a set of cop cars around oh i heard that's a typo it's a type yeah but i but i feel it's important to read these as they are sure you never know maybe that's what he meant because it could be the urgency with which he's he's typing he's got it true i just got home and they are a set of cop cars around i heard someone was carried out of one of the buildings screaming and that a kid was screaming Bloody Mary over and over again as helicopters circled overhead. I stepped out for some breakfast and came back to this. What is going on?

It's interesting that he included the detail of stepping out for breakfast and he still went to breakfast. Yes. And then and thought about it. And then while he had stepped out for breakfast, came back for this. Oh, oh, oh. This is happening in the morning. Presumably. I don't came. Well, he had stepped out for breakfast, came back for this. Oh, oh, oh. This is happening in the morning. Presumably. I don't know what time he woke up. This happened as he was stepping out for breakfast.

Yeah. He doesn't say what time he wakes up. So it's his first meal of the day, but that could be four in the afternoon for all. I don't know, Ricky. The kid was, no, the kid was screaming Bloody Mary. I mean, usually you scream Bloody Murder. Yes. And that is, I always took that expression.

Is that in quotes? Bloody Mary is in quotes. I always took the expression screaming bloody murder, murder. Burnt murder. That's funny. Look, I'm not a Russian bot. I always assumed when people use the expression screaming bloody murder, they didn't mean literally screaming the words bloody murder. Of course.

Of course. I'm not looking at it, so I didn't realize that it was in quotes. But do you think he means the Bloody Mary, like that old sort of wives tale, that scary thing, or the drink? Well, he was going out for breakfast. It was the morning. It was the morning. I'll tell you what. I've had some mornings where I've wanted to scream Bloody Mary.

Right. And not the scary woman who bleeds in the mirror. What is it? Not the scary woman who believes in the mirror. Look, when I was a child. The legend of Bloody Mary is if you. You say it in the mirror, right? Like Candyman.

She was the only woman who believed in mirrors from her time. She was from a long ago time. Before they existed. And that's how she can see us in the present day and scare everyone. She appears in the mirror, right? She was hanged as a witch. Because she said she described mirrors to her village and they hanged her. They thought it was witchcraft.

Yes, they thought it was witchcraft. Even though there were probably plenty of natural reflective surfaces all over the village. Yes, a mirror is just science. But that's the thing. They're saying, how couldst thou hang a stream in thy home? Goody Mary. That's right. I know that because we did

the Crucible three years ago. And they named the drink after her because you can see yourself in a Bloody Mary. So I don't know what was happening, but I do hope that the child is okay. Yeah, if you live in those apartments, write in and let us know what was happening, but I do hope that the child is okay. Yeah, if you are living in those apartments, write in and let us know what happened. So someone was carried out of the buildings and a kid was screaming Bloody Mary. Why is a kid screaming it?

Do you think Ricky is trying to make us think that Bloody Mary appeared and killed someone? I think so. Unless the kid, unless he was British and he was saying, bloody Mary. He's just angry at Mary. Yeah, like, yeah, like he's just, oh, that bloody Mary. You know, like they say when they say, oh, it's bloody, this bloody day. No, I got it, I got it. I know, it's just a fun accent to do.

I just wanted to do it a little bit more. Well, you're very good at it. Oh, thank you. I did enjoy hearing it. Well, maybe we'll do Oliver, maybe My Fair Lady. Doug, what if we did My Fair Lady? Oh, I'd love to see you in My Fair Lady. Oh, maybe we'll do Oliver. Maybe My Fair Lady. Doug, what if we did My Fair Lady? My Fair Lady. Oh, I could do that one. I'm a little bit long in the tooth for that. Can I?

For the listener, Joan was, she had to be pushing her teeth back up. Well, I'm just trying to get the whole face to go back up, honestly. Oh, I see. I thought you were going to say, I'm long in. Well, I'm just trying to get the whole face to go back up, honestly. Oh, I see. I thought you were going to say, I'm long in the tooth,

I better push my teeth further into my head so my teeth appear shorter. That makes a lot of sense. Can't do that either. Oh, boy. But I think, it's been a long time since I've seen My Fair Lady, and I may never have seen it to the end. But does she ever lose her Cockney accent? Oh, burnt. How far did you watch?

I mean, that's the whole point of the story. I know that's the point. I know. That's like me turning off the nature thing before I find out if a flamingo lives. What are you talking about? I know, well, we're two peas in a pod. I know that Professor Annie Regan desperately wants her to stop speaking like a common person. Absolutely.

But does he ever succeed? Well, you're just going to have to wait and find out. Oh, you got me. Maybe I'm going to do My Fair Lady just because I want you to have to wait to see what happens. Well, you're just going to have to wait and find out. Oh, you got me. Maybe I'm going to do My Fair Lady just because I want you to have to wait to see what happens. Well, you know I'll go see it. You know I'll go see it. This will be the one time I watch the bloody My Fair Lady

to its completion. My blood, my fair bloody. I can't do the voice. It's alright. It's okay. I'll just do it. Alright, we do have to take a break. When we return, we will have our guest. Yes. A citizen of Dignity Falls. Can't wait. Hi, I'm Joyce. I've been making milk kefir grains at home for many years and have extra grains from time to time. If anyone is interested in making milk kefir at home, my grains are available for $5 a teaspoon.

As you may know, milk kefir is much easier to make than yogurt and contains much more gut-friendly bacterial strains. Contact me with your energy. Welcome back to The Day We're Listen. This is Burnt Me a Payday. I back to the Dayward Listen. This is Burnt Me a Payday. I'm still Joan Pedestrian. And we have a guest in studio. We do. And we, you know, this post is, this post is curious.

She has an interesting story. We have a lot of questions. So we kind of, I wrote back to her and asked if she'd want to come on and sort of elaborate a little bit, if you will. So this is from Christine, and this title of the post is Dog Shampoo. Dog Shampoo. She says, this is an odd post. So she's aware, you know. Right.

I lost a gallon of dog shampoo today. I lost a gallon of dog shampoo today on Olympia and Fairhaven. I put the gallon on top of my tire cover of my trailer and drove off. When I went to go look for it, it was nowhere to be found. If anyone picked it up and has it, I would be happy to get it back. Thanks. So let's just welcome Christine. Thank you.

Thank you so much. Welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much. Welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much. So I'm just guessing since that you're still reading that, that nobody, neither one of you have seen this. We have not seen your dog shampoo. We have not seen the dog shampoo. I hope this gets out fast so that if people are listening, they can just get in touch It goes out today.

Okay. You really want that back. Well, yeah, I made it. Oh, you made the dog shampoo yeah they don't yeah they don't sell enough in a bottle you know that you have to make if you want a gallon right i mean because a gallon is a lot it seemed like a lot of it seemed to me i don't have a dog but it seemed like a lifetime supply how long does that last you how many dogs do you have oh the legal amount oh and it left me you know what is the legal amount for four i have not i mean the past was water under the bridge and from now on it's

four and i'm not you know and where i'm getting along with my neighbors and everything okay you used to have more dogs than that in the past yeah and so i some of them i guess they get pregnant easily and like so then there were had puppies and stuff oh well yes certainly if you don't say or neuter them that that does happen yeah so yeah gotta watch you know speaking watching the end watch the end of the price is right with bob barker oh that's right that's what he always tells you to do i mean mean, I imagine that's on Netflix by now. They have Jeopardy on there. I wouldn't know. I'm boycotting

Netflix because of the damn Flamingo movie. I understood. Anyway, if someone threw this out, it's really valuable because it takes a long time to make it. How do you make it? Well, I can't tell you exactly everything because it's my recipe, but there's honey in it, there's beer in it and stuff.

Honey and beer. Two things I would have not expected. I remember beer being an ingredient in shampoo years ago. Really? No, body on tap. That was the name of a shampoo that had beer in it. And they had to say on the bottle, don't drink this. This is absolutely true of what I'm telling you right now.

Wow. You could still drink that actually. You could, but don't. I mean, I have, it was okay. I'm curious if you had the gallon,

where were you going to? I had a flat tire and then I had to change my tire. So, so, so you weren't at home. You were like on the street somewhere. Well, yeah,

I was at Olympian fair, whatever. And I, so I was at Olympian Fair, whatever. And I, so I'm there and I get up. I thought that that's maybe where it fell off of your car. No, I changed there and then I put it on top of the. If I may, I know there's a lot to parse here. I feel as if she knew where it had fallen off. It would have been easier to locate.

She probably could have snapped it up right away. Well, it could have stayed on there while I was driving. Right, but then you'd be, you'd know it was back there. You'd be monitoring how long it was still on there. No, no, she's saying she didn't realize that she put it there. I know what actually happened. What? No, no, no.

No, no, no. I understand what happened is she put it there. She forgot. My question is. But I'm saying if you knew where it fell off, you'd know She put it there. She forgot. My question is... But I'm saying if you knew where it fell off, you'd know it was back there. You can understand why we have these questions, Christine. So what I want to know is if you're stopping to change a tire... I went on Olympia all the way to Palm. All the way to Palm.

Uh-huh. Okay. So here's the thing. You had a flat tire. You got out of the car. Yeah. And that wasn't my fault either. There's nails from the construction.

No one's blaming you. No one's saying that. What we're saying is. It never occurred to me to blame someone for a flat tire. No. Or nails on the road. I mean, not her. You can blame someone for nails on the road.

But my question is. The enemy of Jamie Vaughn. Some people are accident prone. At what point did the dog shampoo come into the picture? Why did it? No, yeah. Where was it before it got taken? So my tire was on the back of Jamie Bond. Some people are accident prone. At what point did the dog shampoo come into the picture? Why didn't it? No, yeah. Where was it before it got taken off?

So my tire was on the back of the trailer and I had to take the spare off to try to change it, but then I don't know how to do that. So then I had to put that back so heavy. And then also, oh, mistress, mine was in the back seat. Sorry? Who was? Oh, mistress, mine is mine. Oh, mistress, mine.

Oh, mistress, mine. Oh, mistress, mine. Is that seat. Sorry? Who was? Oh, Mistress Mine is. Oh, Mistress Mine? Oh, Mistress Mine. Oh, Mistress Mine. Is that one of your dogs? Yeah. Oh. So she is part Labradoodle. To be fair, it also sounded like a racehorse. Well, she's fast.

She's a racehorse in the back of your car, Bird. She has like a major harness action because she will go. Oh, wow. So she was in the back seat. What was I saying? She was. go. Oh, wow. So she was in the back seat. What was I saying? She was in... It's okay, Christine. It's okay.

I know that this is a lot. I know it's a lot and we're putting you on the spot and I do feel sorry for that. She's really dirty. Okay. Why is she so... Why is Old Mistress Mine so dirty?

Well, she... So it's not exactly a yard in the back where I am, but like there's some area for her, like the legal amount of space for her to need to like go and stuff. But she's like spaz and some other dogs. My other three dogs also are back there. So it's kind of like intense. And what are your other dogs names?

Just Gretchen. Just Gretchen. Just Gretchen. No, no. I mean, only, she means Gretchen. Yeah. Oh, Mr. Chai. Gretchen. Then we have Bookie and Cookie.

Bookie and Cookie. Oh, Bookie and Cookie. Cute. That's all. I understand. No one's saying, I didn't, you're not. We're not challenging that. We're not.

So what I guess I'm saying is she's always dirty. Did you have the shampoo in the car? Not when I had the shampoo. Why did the shampoo come outside of the car? That's a good question. So my wrench, like all of my stuff was under the shampoo because I was going to go try to sell some of it because I'm trying to like get it out to the markets and stuff. Got it. I designed the label and everything.

So I like pulled it out, pulled out my wrench. I guess I didn't need a wrench. And I just was like overwhelmed, you know, like I just like got, it was so heavy. Sure. Right, right. It was a gallon. But I could still drive on the flat actually. So I just drove on the flat for a while.

Oh. I don't think she meant the shampoo was heavy. I think she meant the tire. Oh, the tire, sorry. The shampoo's like actually light I just drove on the flat for a while. Oh. I don't think she meant the shampoo was heavy. I think she meant the tire. Oh, the tire. Sorry. The shampoo's, like, actually light. It's not that bad for a gallon. Oh, okay.

And what is it? What did you call it? You said you labeled it yourself. Do you have a name for it? Clean Dog. Oh, well, that is straight and to the point. Clean Dog. I appreciate it.

I'd buy that. You'll remember it. Absolutely. Yes. I'll remember it forever. Indeed. So, okay. So that's what happened.

You realize you didn't need the wrench. You took it out to get to the wrench. You put it on the tire cover and you just drove away, not realizing you'd left it outside. First it was on the ground. Then when I put the tire back on, I put it on the tire cover because I need to put the wrench back. And then oh, mistress, mine was hungry. And then I was hungry. And then I just got like, you know, and I just forgot.

Sure. Yeah. It was so stupid. You know, it's like those popular Snickers commercials where you get so hungry, you turn it into somebody else and you turn into someone forgetful. I don't know who the most forgetful celebrity is. I don't know. I don't know who is the most forgetful.

Who is the most forgetful? There's probably an old person. And some people's backyards. Boy, I don't know. Is that a thing that we can know? I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm really.

Isn't there like a celebrity who wanders into people's backyards? Robert Downey Jr., I guess. Yeah, that's what. Yeah, him. He's probably Robert Downey Jr. You turn into Robert Downey Jr. The closest to the most forgetful celebrity we can think of. My question for you is, you want it back so badly.

Is it very expensive for you to make? It seems like the raw materials would be quite cheap. That was my question as well, because I assumed this was some dog shampoo, maybe a high-end dog shampoo, that you would purchase in a gallon, and it would be quite dear. And the fact that you made it yourself,

it sort of seems like you could just let that go. So, like, okay, a gallon is going to go for $24.99. Oh, okay. Okay? And the materials I use to make it justify that. It's not like I'm putting $2 worth of stuff in there and, like, jacking the price way, way up. How much would you say a batch costs, a gallon costs to make?

$20 probably. Really? Wow. What is costing so much? No, because that justifies the high price. Right. Right, but... The honey and the beer are costing $20? Is there some other secret ingredient that we don't know about that's

very expensive? And it's just logical. It's just logical that it should cost me $20 and then I'm only charging above that $4.99. And then if I lose it, people with chemistry sets can distill it and figure out what's in there. And then my recipe is gone.

You're very worried someone's going to find this shampoo and try to— You're worried about intellectual theft. Yeah, because it says clean dog on it. So people are going to know exactly what it is because I made a stupid label and put it on before I went to the store. You were beating yourself up way too much, honey. You just can't give yourself such a bad time. You also didn't really answer the question of what is in it that makes it so expensive. Well, I think she doesn't want to tell us.

Is that right? Exactly. It's industrial property or whatever you were saying like that. Intellectual property. Were you in Gypsy? Did you do Gypsy in the park? Oh, my gosh. Wow.

You've got a fan. You've got a fan. You've got a fan. And maybe it was me. It was me. Me. For me. I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I should warm up first. That was awesome. Oh, my gosh. Well, thank you so much. You were so sweet. We had all the dogs there. It was just like you could be in the park and you could see a show. Oh, I remember you.

Yes, yes, yes. Thank you. Yes, yes, yes. Thank you. That was when the community, the Dignity Falls Community Theater tried to do a thing that they, you know, like ballparks do. There's a park at the park where, you know, you can bring your dog to the game. And we tried to with a live theatrical

show. And it was the first and only time that it was done. Yes, it was because it was, it got a little bit, it got a little bit out of hand, as you might remember. Someone joined me on stage. The leashes were out of my hand. I was like, totally, I remember. That was Molly.

And I donated her, actually. So she's with a very safe home. Donated her. She's with a safe home. That's good. Yeah, because that night, Rose's turn was Molly's turn. You know what I mean? Yes, I did. That's what it was. There were so many dogs on stage at one point. So many. So home. That's good. Yeah, because that night, Rose's turn was Molly's turn. You know what I mean? Yes.

That's what it was. There were so many dogs on stage at one point. So many. So many. It was astonishing. It was. But you're very kind to remember me, and that's very sweet. And that was one of my highlights of my career.

But whatever. We're not talking about that. It was such a highlight for me, too. I got so many pictures of the pups up there, which is so cool. I was going to make little little headshots for them too. Oh, well, that's great. That's great. Yeah.

All right. Well, I guess without information of you sort of telling us everything that goes into it and without. Well, there's water. I don't quite know. Oh, okay. You can't let that slip. Yeah.

Yeah. That was it? No, there's other ingredients that justify that price. Oh, okay. You can't let that slip? Yeah. Yeah. That was it? No, there's other ingredients that justify that price. Okay. All right. It just seems like you want to tell people why it's so expensive. Do you know what I mean? It feels as if you're defensive about it.

We haven't said anything about the price. It sounds for a gallon. I mean, if it's really high-quality stuff, if it's organic and homemade, well, then that sounds about because a gallon is going to last you a regular I don't want to say regular. Just a person who doesn't have as many dogs as you do. Just one dog. It's going to last me a while.

Yeah, yeah. I also just don't want you to worry. I don't think anyone's going to be driving around Olympia trying to find it and steal it. I feel like the odds of that happening of someone finding this homemade dog shampoo and saying, I'm going to distill this into its base ingredients to figure out what's in it, and then I'm going to sell my own dog shampoo.

Last winter, all my dog costumes, I spilled them out in the grocery store parking lot, and then I drove off without some of those, and then all of a sudden I see little Catwoman dog costumes on dachshunds all over the place I'm like where'd that come from oh well that oh okay that sounds like something that someone might have just come up with completely separate of of the situation but it's a cat and a dog right sure but I mean did you did you make these costumes or you bought them yeah well I bought I embellished them you know what I mean so like everything you bought you have to buy everything but then you make these costumes or you bought them? Yeah. Well, I embellished them. You know what I mean? So, like, everything you bought, you have to buy everything.

But then you make stuff. I mean, you can't just grow from the earth a costume or whatever. That's true. Yeah. That's true. That's true. Do you work during the day, Christine? Well, everything is work to me.

I'm just, like, everything is like taking care of myself and my four dogs and like And you're single? Well, currently, yeah. You know what I mean? Well, I mean, yes, I do know what you mean, but well, maybe I don't. I mean, I just went

through something. I went through an online dating problem. An online dating problem? Well, I felt, you know, like I had, I don't want to like, you know,

go too much. I won't say his name, but like I had an encounter with someone who also lives in this town and like he told me he loved me. Oh boy. And did he?

I mean, when I say it, I mean it. Well, I felt that question was just hanging there in the air. Obviously not. Look how upset she is. Good Lord. His name rhymes with Riss Riff. But it won't say his name. His name rhymes with Riss Riff. But I won't say his name. His name rhymes with

Riss Riff. Yeah. Oh, is it Christmas? I didn't say it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I, I, I, look, okay. He, I, I can't, he has his own stuff going on. Like, maybe I came on too fast, you know.

He's, listen, he's a player. You are not the first person to get his heart broken by him. I can't tell you how many bottles of white wine I have gone through, how much Sovy B I've gone through because of that man that I have had a lot of ladies over. Boy, for a second I thought... What, burnt?

I thought that you had had some sort of relationship. Oh, no. God, no. I've never been on anything online. Doug knows that. You and Doug predate online. We what? You predate online dating. Oh, yes.

You've been together since. Like pre-partying, we predate online. First you have a little predate online. Yes. That'd be silly, wouldn't it? No. Where's Doug? He's in the downstairs.

It's not what it sounds like. Did you hear that? That rang great. That sounded good. I think that's just it. I just want Doug to have good acoustics when he chimes in. And that came through loud and clear. That sounded good, baby.

When he said in the tub, it reminded me of Billy Joel's The Longest Time. Perhaps he recorded it in a tub. Who knows? See, I'm liking that. I don't know. I think we might keep him in the tub. But yes, you're correct.

We were together way before online dating and it's so hard, sweetheart. I understand. And look, don't blame yourself. Chris Smith is a little bit of an asshole.

All right. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry to say it. I usually like to curse but you know, he's a bit of an asshole. All right? And I'm sorry. I'm sorry to say it. I mean, I usually like to curse, but, you know, he's a bit of an asshole. Okay. Well, you know, I mean, it's just a lot. It's just a lot, which is probably why my head was distracted and why that happened. It's my responsibility as an adult and everything.

I have to ask you a couple questions. First, what's your name again? Christine. Second, I'm so sorry. It's short for Christina. I'm so sorry. It's short for Christina. I hate Christina, though. Don't call me that. We will not.

Thank you. Christine, is there any way you can just let this particular gallon of dog shampoo go? I think what you're asking is symbolic. I think you're asking her to let go of more than just a fallen body. I think you're right. I mean, I made it. I wasn't intending that, but I think you're right. If I just let that go, can I just take everything I own and just put it on my car and drive away and let it fly into the night?

I would never. I don't think we're suggesting that. No. I mean, you could do that, but but don't i think we're saying you lost something that happens in life yeah it was meaningful to you yeah but you know what it wasn't your gallon of shampoo but i love him there's other gallons of shampoo out in the world okay just as you you could make another gallon of shampoo and you can make another relationship happen you can make a better relationship that's right that's right and you could i know but but but but but but but but christine if you you can make a relationship, you can make a gallon of shampoo better.

Maybe don't put honey in shampoo. It's sticky. You're telling me. My kitchen is such a disaster. I bet it is. Well, then there you go. So get rid of that honey. Kick it to the curb.

That's right. You don't need it. Okay? It is. It's mucking everything up. Wash that honey right out of your shampoo. I have 10 dogs and they are disgusting. You do have 10.

We figured that. You said you had 10. I knew that. It's the same ones that were at Gypsy. I knew it. Do cops listen to this? It's okay. No, it's well.

But we're listening to it. And Christine, you are unfortunately an unreliable narrator. an unreliable narrator. And I think that is I think that is all the time we have for this segment. And it's unfortunate to end it this way.

I wish you well. I wish you well. My phone number is 817- Don't do that. I don't think that's a good idea. Don't do that. Especially because of the 10 dog thing. I would not give out your number.

Yes. You cannot be trusted. Thank you for being here, Christine. Thank you. Yeah, but thank you for being here. I appreciate it. I appreciate it. All right. We need to take a break. We have to take a trusted. Thank you for being here, Christine. Thank you. Yeah, but thank you for being here. I appreciate it. I appreciate it. All right.

We need to take a break, don't we? We have to take a break. More with the Neighborhood Lesson when we return. This is Daryl. I'm reposting this because I posted it before and I've reduced the price. Toy. Steve Earle talking doll. posting this because I've posted it before and I've reduced the price. Toy. Steve Earle talking doll.

From $49, now it's $30. It's $19 off. Family Matters merchandise. 17 inches tall. New, unused, in a original box, which is in excellent condition. Works perfectly. Did i do that imagine him saying

that it's one of the things he says here's some of the other phrases that listed on the box i talk try me it's no problemo why would he say why would one of the things he says be i talk try me? I don't know about that one. Maybe he doesn't actually say that. Maybe that's just the box that's trying to, anyway, here's what I think. I'm reasonably certain he does say,

no sweat, my pep. That one didn't catch on as big as, did I do that? He, he, he, snort. His famous laugh. Steve Erlo. Then he goes, got any cheese? What a nerd.

So there you go. Please buy this before I'm forced to reduce the price again. I know I'm giving away some of my business strategy by saying that's what will happen, but I guess I'm just begging you, neighbor to neighbor, please buy this doll before I have to give it away like some urine-soaked rug. This is Darrell. I'll catch you on Flip-Flop. Welcome back to The Neighborhood Listen. I just want to say, I don't know if we need to say this, but I feel like I should say I'm sorry to the listeners because Christine was, you know, she was a liar. Well, look, I think that she's just going through a rough time, Bernd. She lied about having 10 dogs.

Yeah, you're right. I'm just trying to, you know, I'm just trying to have my gals back. I know. I think you're being very empathic and very positive. And to be frank, I am being very forgiving because those damn dogs really did mess up. They ruined that show. They threw me off that night. And that was the

one night that the Dignity Falls plane dealer was there. I never... Reviewing. Isn't plane dealer was there. I never. Reviewing. Isn't that always the way? I never would have known you were thrown off for even a second. Oh, God bless you. You incorporated everything those dogs were doing. I did.

You incorporated into the show. I did. I did. I did my best. I tried engaging them. It was astonishing. I tried matching the tone of their barks. When you, as mama, said, I'm sick of all these dog acts.

Exactly. Honey, I'm going to get you playing in better houses where there aren't so many dog acts. You remember. Of course I do. I got chills up my spine. There was a lot of ad-libbing that went on. A lot of ad-libbing. A lot of ad-libbing.

But you were the best at it. You were the best at it. Oh, gosh. You know, it was unforgettable. I'll tell you what. It was a shame that Cassie Markowitz, who played Gypsy Rosalie, was severely allergic to dogs. It was awful. It was awful.

And, you know, she was all dressed in her garb to go on as a stripper. And so she broke up out in a horrible rash. It was hard to see. It was very hard to see. And of course I want to jump out of my seat. I'm a pharmacist. Oh exactly right. No kidding. Yeah. They should have alerted the cast to this whole idea. They definitely should have. And to be I mean there was so much dog shit on the stage.

So much. More than I've ever seen on that stage. More than the usual amount. Because as we know that's pretty much a derelict park that people are always kind of defecating on. So I guess the stage has seen a lot. We're not going to do My Fair Lady there. I mean, not like we're going to do My Fair Lady, but we're going to do it inside. We're going to do it at the old community playhouse.

It'll be fine. I mean, if you were to do My Fair Lady. My Fady Lady. It'll be fine. I mean, if you were to do My Fadey, My Fair Lady. My Fadey Lady. My Fade-lady. If you were to do My Fair Lady there, you can consider those costumes bought because you will never

get that deposit back. That is correct. They will not accept them in the condition that they will no doubt be in should you perform the show there. And I am hoping to rent. I am hoping to rent

from a professional touring company, you know, to get the best quality stuff. Why shouldn't we have it here in Dandy Falls? Absolutely. I think the old way of doing period pieces in the community theater where just putting a big belt on everything to make it look old-fashioned.

Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. And I'll tell you what, we are going to update it for 2019. It's going to be a woke version where we're going to make sure that Eliza doesn't need that man. You know, she's going to be in charge. I remember seeing, you all did the importance of being earnest. And the ladies just wore, they just wore like some Ann Taylor stuff. And they put leg warmers on their necks.

We wore men's dress shirts backwards. And then we just put scarves around. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. I thought it was pretty smart, but when I look back at it, those pictures,

it didn't, no, it wasn't so great. I think it was smart, but I think that it really- We have less of a budget then. We're going to, it's going to be better. Don't you worry.

I think we've got to push for that. I think we've got to push for that. I'm going to. Okay. We just have time for a few quick posts before we wrap things up um i have an interesting update oh a turtle update then let me go first and then we'll do your update okay this i'm sorry that i i cut off the name i screen capped this and i cut off the name this is a picture of a couple pets there There's a fat dog and a regular cat. Two regular cats.

Posting again, does anyone have people coming into town for Christmas that would like to stay in my two-bedroom apartment in Dignity Falls in exchange for watching one borderline obese dog, a sweet cat, and an aloof cat that wants nothing

to do with humanity. They're having a little fun. Uh-huh, uh-huh. I may be able to pay a couple hundred, but I have been hit with some unexpected expenses and would love to do some kind of trade. I'm gone Christmas morning to January 1st. And then a little old-fashioned emoticon, the colon with the closed parentheses, to say a smile.

What does he mean by trade? Well, that's the thing because I may be able to pay some money, but then maybe there's something we could trade even though we will not be in the, we won't be here at the same time. Exactly. Made it sound like he wants to trade one of the

pets. It also seems like the person visiting for the holidays would be arriving here before Christmas morning yes that is a strange time to just specifically need a place to stay

I'm arriving Christmas morning and I'm going to spend Christmas with a borderline obese dog, a sweet cat, and an aloof cat. First order of the day on Christmas morning. Get into town. Yes. Go to this apartment. You know, get a key.

Yep. Take care of these animals. And then hit the town. Yeah. How much do I feed this dog who's clearly being fed to death? Exactly. I mean, I guess it's cute that he's having fun, but borderline obese, you should be doing something about that. You really should be doing something about that. You really should be doing something about that.

So that's what I listen to when I'm hearing that post. And this dog does look, he looks, he's adorable and he is overweight. Oh, dear. We've got a problem with that here in Dignity Falls, I feel like. A lot of fat pets. A lot of fat pets. A lot of fat pets. I don't know.

Is it just because we've got a lot of, I mean, are they eating the wildlife, you know? Is it all the, you know, mice and the rats and the, you know, is that what's going on? But some of them are small and fat. It could be the coyotes are making all of the animals more aggressive and asserting their place on the food chain. Or causing them to stress eat. I'll tell you what. I mean, I do that. Doug has seen eat. I'll tell you what. I mean, I mean,

I do that. Doug has seen it. It's not pretty. It's not pretty. Well, so good luck to you. Good luck. I'm not sure you're going to find anybody. It's a very narrow window of time.

Yeah. Also again, I mean, it sounds like a sitcom, what you described with those pets, but I'm not sure I want to hang out with them, especially on Christmas morning. Although to be honest,

you might as well just substitute dog, cat, and cat for uncle, aunt, and mother-in-law, right? Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. On Christmas, borderline obese uncle. Exactly.

Borderline obese uncle, aloof cat, and nice cat. Well, I lost it. I lost it. Oh, burned. I lost it. Oh, boy. That's all right. So, I have a turtle it. Oh, boy. That's all right. So I have a turtle update.

A turtle update? Turtle update. Bow, bow, bow. I don't know. What's that sound? Were you doing the air horn? Yeah, I was trying to do the air horn because that's what kids do. Hold on one second.

Oh, do you have one? I think I have one. Oh, that's fun. That's just not the right sound for a tortoise, but that's what might make it funny. I remember seeing a video that this, uh, this fellow would do his app of the week. And the one that kept winning every week was this app called the rap air horn. And I finally downloaded it. And boy, it's a lot of fun. Tortoise update.

I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready. Okay. Okay. Do you want me to say it? Okay. I'm going to say it. And then you go.

Yeah. Tortoise update. That's very funny. Did you do it too, Doug? Sorry, Doug was doing something else. Doug, what were you doing in the bathroom? Oh, I didn't see that you. It's the same app.

You can make it do different sounds. Oh, ham. That's funny. I don't know why you would have it say ham. Are you mad? I'm not mad. I just feel like Doug sort of stole my thunder a little bit.

This is crazy. What was that? It's just... Okay, Doug, that's enough. That was a little bit of a song, I think. Burnt. Okay. Babe, we're good. We're good with the sound. Thank you so much. We're totally fine. He can't see us. I haven't eaten lunch yet.

He can't see us at all, Burnt. My blood sugar is low. You what? I can't see us. I haven't eaten lunch yet. He can't see us at all burnt. Yeah, we got to get your blood sugars low. You what? I can't see you from the tub. No, I know. He can't see us from the tub. He can't see us from the tub. All right.

Well, let's just push past it, guys. Everything's fine. We're going to get burnt some lunch. It's all good. Wait, are you physically uncomfortable? Is that what you're saying? Well, yes. I'm laying in a tub.

Yeah, you've been laying in a tub for- You're laying in it? I thought that you- I assumed he was laying. Oh. Would you stand? I guess I just thought he put maybe my shower chair in there. I think it would just be a natural inclination to just stretch out if you're in the tub.

I guess. It's weird to lie in a tub when there's no water, you know? Well, the electric equipment. Sure. Yeah, that would be a problem. Mortal enemies. Obviously, I'm not suggesting it. Come on, guys.

Let's not be dumb. We're all being dumb. The wheels are coming off here. We're all being dumb. All right, here's the tortoise update. Several months ago, again, several months ago, why are people sleeping on this tortoise news? Several months ago. Why are people sleeping on this tortoise news? Several months ago.

Were you checking your email, Bert? No. I heard you say tortoise news again. And I thought, did she want me to do the rap? Well, I kind of did. And I'm telling you, you were looking at your phone and I think you missed the moment. I was trying to get you to do it again because you didn't like when Doug interrupted you. It's fine.

It's fine. It's fine. Several months ago when the weather started getting warm, we found a tortoise who looked like he maybe was just coming out of hibernation. How do you determine that? I mean, how would you look in the eyes of a tortoise and try to guess if he's coming out of

hibernation? Also, this was several months ago, so again, really really late to the game. I also think that it's very hard to glean anything from looking into the eyes of a tortoise because they, as slow as they are, they turn away from you very quickly. Is that right? A turtle

is not interested in any kind of staring contest. They look at you in a way I feel that anytime you look at a turtle, he will slowly turn his head away in a way that makes you feel very small. Oh, wow. Maybe that's just me. You've had a specific incident.

You've had an interaction with a tortoise. I'm imagining anytime I've ever looked at a turtle, a tortoise, a terrapin. I can't think of a time I looked at a tortoise. Except for now, if you talk about sea turtles, when we went to go to Hawaii. Do you remember, Doug, when we went to Hanuma Bay? Oh, and there was this gorgeous sea turtle. He didn't have any problem with eye contact. Really?

No. Maybe they're used to tourists. Maybe they're freer there. Maybe they blame us for being where they are when they're kept as pets. That could be it. And they say, I don't even want to look at you. Yeah, that's, I can't look at you. And they turn their little leathery head away.

That's right. Well, okay. So they found this tortoise. They thought he might be coming out of hibernation. But here's the interesting last bit. Karen says, my daughter is falling in love with him. Oh, my word. But I definitely would rather the owner who has lost the tortoise be reunited.

Yeah, this sounds like star-crossed lovers. I mean, the way that she says it, really, falling in love with them. How do you fall in love with a tortoise over the period of a couple of months? I feel like they don't give off much to be in love with. I guess it's that a couple of months is long enough to observe them and their curious little turtle behavior.

I guess. Do you know? For whatever reason, in my head, the daughter is a teenage daughter, not a little child. Is that weird? No. If it was a little girl, then I could understand it. I inferred that as well. But the way she phrases it really makes it sound like a teenage.

Why did I also think that? I don't know, but I think that's interesting. Can you read that passage again about the daughter? Of course I can. Sure, sure. Hang on a second. Let me pull it up here. My daughter is falling in love with him.

That's the thing. You know why? It's because it's falling in love with him. That's the thing. You know why? It's because it's falling in love with him. That's what you say when it happens between two humans, right? We know it's not that my daughter loves him. My daughter loves him is somehow less intimate and emotional than falling in love with him. It's as if she's going to bed at night and she's wrestling with herself saying, I should not be falling in love with a reptile.

What am I doing? I can't get him out of my mind. What am I doing? I have a reptile. What am I doing? I can't get him out of my mind. What am I doing? I have a hamster. What am I doing? And a boyfriend. Maybe. Imagine.

And she's spending more time with this tortoise and she's falling in love with him. The daughter could also, I have to say this, the daughter could also be an adult. I guess the daughter could be an adult. I don't know how old the OP original poster is. We have no idea. the daughter could be an adult. I don't know how old the OP original poster is. We have no idea. And then I also keep thinking,

if this is the same tortoise, a man who had his tortoise go missing, again, several months ago, because neither one of them felt the need to write about it soon or quickly, then he's probably going to be bothered if he hears this. And hopefully he will. Go get that turtle before something weird

and inappropriate happens with that daughter. This has all the makings of a heartbreaking film. Oh. Oh. Go on. Well, those can be heartbreaking. Go on. But that turtle gets away and the person misses the turtle and then they find the turtle.

But the turtle is beloved by this child or perhaps adult daughter. Yes. And so, okay, so in one scenario, if the daughter is a child, then does this person become a real turtle Scrooge and pry the turtle from the grasp of this childhood? Yes. When really, guess what? You didn't care. You didn't give a shit about it.

You didn't post about it for three months. So don't break this little girl's heart. And turtles are long-lived animals. Wouldn't the turtle be happier with a younger person that they could spend more time together? Fair enough. Now, let's say the daughter is an adult. Right. This guy, he hasn't gotten his life together, clearly, because he let his turtle escape.

He finds the tortoise in the hands of this, I'll say, beautiful young lady. She's single. He's single. This is how they fall in love. It's a rom-com. Oh, a meet cute. A meet cute over the turtle. Oh, now that's sweet.

And what would the title be? Something, Shell has to be in there. Oh, Shell 100%. Has to be in there. 100% has to be in there. A shell 100%. Has to be in there. 100% has to be in there. You cracked my shell. I mean, that's not an expression. I'm not the expressions expert.

Oh, I forgot what I was talking about for a second. I know, I know. I would call it slow and steady. That's very good because that's what wins the race. That's right. And the race in this case is love. What about helpless on my back? With an exclamation point?

Yeah, sure. I mean, that doesn't necessarily scream rom-com to me, but I could work with it. Well, it could be considered a little naughty. It sure could. How about, don't make a soup out of me! Anyway. Or he's now being silly. This is not my area of expertise

no but I hope that I hope that it is the missing turtle from the earlier post and I hope that they can work out something to everyone's liking yeah maybe like do like a maybe just gonna have to be visitation yeah I hope that everyone gets to share this turtle that's right okay

well but thank you for sharing this hour with us everybody yes thank you very much and I hope you everyone gets to share this turtle. That's right. Okay. Well, but thank you for sharing this hour with us, everybody. Yes, thank you very much. And I hope you'll visitate us next time on The Neighborhood Listen. That's it for now. Bye. And goodbye. Bye.

Bye. Thank you.