The Neighborhood Listen - A Sharp Piece Of Shale with Madeline Walter
Episode Date: December 17, 2024On the penultimate episode of Season Stephen, Burnt and Joan discuss delicious looking commercials from yesteryear, while Doug works on a room for Jalliope. Later, neighbor Maura is confused ...why she has received rocks in her mail.Want more TNL? Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for the Maximus plan to unlock access to all seasons ad-free, as well as brand new exclusive BONUS ROOM episodes adventuring deeper into Dignity Falls!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Lights are going up, snow is falling down, there's a feeling of goodwill around town.
It could only mean one thing, McRib is here.
People throwing parties, ugly sweaters everywhere, stockings hung up by the chimney with care.
It could only mean one thing.
McRib is here.
At participating McDonald's for a limited time.
Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins.
And I'm Nicole Parker.
On this podcast, we improvise and character using real posts from a popular neighborhood
networking website.
Occasionally, we change the names of some streets.
And that's all you need to know.
To support the show and unlock the ad-free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes
of The Bonus Room, go to CBBWorld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership.
And now, please enjoy this episode of...
The Neighborhood Listen!
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Your neighbor!
Good!
In Dignity Falls, you're never alone.
You've got the Neighbor half-app and us!
Burn.
And Joan!
From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell. We'll cover it all with a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of In Dignity Falls, you're never alone. You've got the Neighbor Half App and us,
Burn, and Joan. From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell.
We'll cover it all and meet new neighbors as well.
We'll chat about any posts you're missing. So just tune in to The Neighborhood Listen.
Welcome once again to The Neighborhood Listen. this is the neighborhood I almost said can
you believe it?
I can't we're almost done here we're like near in the end of this part of the season
of season.
Okay so it's not just me.
Season Steven.
Remember it's season Steven.
Season Steven that's right season Steven we started giving them names like hurricanes. So we are getting ready to say goodbye to Season Steven.
And who knows what next season will be called?
No idea.
Very excited.
Very, very excited.
Who knows if we'll remember that we started this practice?
Oh, I will.
You will?
Yes, I will.
I promise to remember.
All right.
I'm making a pact right now.
Okay, great.
Okay.
This is the Neighborhood Listen.
It is the podcast that looks at the neighborhood
of Dignity Falls.
Nailed it.
Through the eyes of its very residents.
Mm-hmm, we're two of them.
Of which we are,
Joan, you read my mind.
I know.
You read my mind.
You take it from here.
I'm glad I was right.
I'm glad I guessed correctly.
I'm Joan Pedestrian.
I'm a realtor here in Dignity Falls, and I'm also not an amateur actor here. I'm glad I guess correctly. I'm Joan pedestrian. I'm a realtor here in dignity falls.
And I'm also not an amateur actor here. I'm a local actor. We've decided that sounds better.
It does sound better, but I think if you bring the word amateur into it at all, you're still
undercutting. Okay. I shouldn't say it all. I am a local actress. That's right. I don't know. Now
it sounds very lonely. It stands there just sort of sad. A local actress.
I feel like the way that sentence, you know,
finishes is what's found in a forest.
What if you said,
or goes missing.
What?
Have you seen the sentence?
What if you said,
I am part of the Dignity Falls theater community.
Okay, okay.
I can see that.
I mean, it makes me feel like I'm in the ensemble,
which I don't love.
Right, I'm a leading light.
A leading lady in the Dignity Falls theater community.
Can I say that?
Yeah, well I think-
I'm a local lady in the-
A local leading lady.
A local leading lady.
Local leading lady, we love a tongue twister.
I think that you could just say leading lady, period, because you're always the lead lady. We love a tongue twister. I think that you could just say leading lady period
because you're always the lead lady.
Well, in the shows that I do, yes,
that I write for myself.
Well, but who beats you in the rest
of the Dignity Falls community playhouse?
Well, for a while, Carol Dragonslayer
was giving me a run for my money.
She was doing-
Giving you a run for your money.
We were up against each other quite a bit for things.
That's right. But who prevailed in the end?
I mean, in the end, except for I did not get to, I didn't get to
do the one woman Joan Rivers show. That's right. She had an
unbelievable take on her. And I don't know how she did it
because she ruined her voice. I mean, it was just, it was, it
was gone by the end.
I think it was the, I think it's the alcohol
that ruined her voice.
Oh, you do?
Oh, this is kind of-
She's drunk all the time.
I know she is. She really is.
If you listen to, if you are a member of the Maximus,
right, is that what it's called?
That's correct.
Did you just, was I too intense when I said Maximus?
No, no, no. I just wanted to see if you would remember the rest.
You do do it all the time. I don't do it.
Then you have access to bonus room episodes that we do.
And in some cases, for some reason, we still don't know how this happened.
But my mortal enemy, the theater critic Mitch McNutt.
That's right. Thank you for that.
I can't stand him.
Babe, do you have anything to say about him?
You always have a good thing to say.
Hi, that's my husband, Doug. He's recording in a separate room.
Got a Mitch McNutt thing. He's a sinister villain. That's true. He is a sinister villain.
Doug, when you're right, you're right. He is a sinister villain. So Mitch McNutt and
Carol Dragonslayer have a podcast together called the Bitchin Hut and for
some reason, two of their episodes have made it into the bonus rooms. I don't
know. Yeah, I don't know how they're doing that. They're hijacking the feed. They're very popular
though. And I'm Bert Meapede,
I'm a pharmacist here in Dignity Falls.
I'm the pharmacist in chief at the Dignity Fallsmasy.
And that is me.
That's all you got?
Okay, great.
I think so, yeah.
All right, and babe, where are you recording from today?
I am in the ice skating rink.
Oh boy.
I'm preparing for Christmas time.
I'm honestly preparing for Christmas time. Christmas time. I honestly support Christmas time.
Funny.
Julyope's dream.
Oh, she loves ice skating.
Oh yes.
She always wanted to be an ice skater.
Where was I from just now?
Like I wanted to be a tennis player.
I don't know.
Oh, she loves ice skating.
She loves ice skating.
She loves ice skating.
She loves ice skating.
Now I'm honestly surprised you all don't already have an ice skating rink.
I know it's honestly it's true.
You have a roller rink.
We have a roller rink.
The fact that we have like a bat cave before we'd have a ice skating rink is wild to me.
It is wild.
We didn't prioritize it very well.
Just so people are aware it's not a bat cave in the sense of Batman.
That's right.
It is just a cave filled with fake bats.
Real bats in the wine cave.
Real bats in the wine cave.
So yes, it was something that she's wanted for so long.
And you know why?
Here's why it got put off.
Because of Doug's mountaintop cores commercial room, where he just has changed the temperature.
The beer drinking. Yes.
And the altitude drops and you go in there to get your beer out of the mountain.
To the altitude drops.
Oh, sorry.
So you get lower.
You go in the room.
It's so cold.
It's so cold.
It is cold under the ground.
We do feel bad.
We have built down to the magma before and weirdly it gets cold before it gets hot again.
You have built down to the magma? I know on the rights.
I mean, I've tried. Lord knows I've tried.
I don't know if you... I can't get that down.
I don't think you should. I think that's... you don't want to get down to magma.
But also...
I just want to see it.
I just want to see it.
I don't remember what I was going to say.
It's okay. The point is, is that, is that,
that took a enormous toll on our electricity bill.
So I just was like, what's it gonna be like
to upkeep a rink?
But I do know that the only reason that Doug wants to do
is he wants to get a Zamboni, but like we have to get it.
It's not to scale.
It's like a half the size of a normal ice skating rink.
So is it a smaller Zamboni?
Yeah, you're gonna have to find a tinier Zamboni.
A Zamborini.
A Zamborini! I look like a circus bear on rink. So is it a smaller Zamboni? Yeah, you're going to find a tinier Zamboni. A Zambonini.
A Zambonini!
I look like a circus bear on this thing.
Yeah, that sounds fun, honestly.
To ride a little Zamboni?
That's what I thought.
Oh, that sounds fun.
You can take a ride.
Thank you very much.
I mean, I'll take you up on that.
I'll absolutely ride on the Zamboni.
Isn't it also a popular dessert in media middly where you grew up?
Zambonini?
Yes.
It's a tort, a chocolate tort in the shape of a Zamboni.
Oh, cute.
And it's filled with red sauce.
Red sauce?
Yes.
That I did not expect.
Filled with marinara, yeah.
Oh, marinara.
It's a sweet and savory kind of thing.
Sure.
So it's ice cold.
It's ice cold.
It's like, you remember the Vianetta?
But the sauce is piping hot on the inside? The sauce is piping hot. Oh, the Vianetta. It's very difficult. No one knows how they don't, it doesn't melt. It's very difficult. It's ice cold. It's like, you remember the viennetta? The sauce is piping hot on the inside.
The sauce is piping hot.
Oh, the viennetta.
And it's very difficult.
No one knows how they don't, it doesn't melt.
It's very difficult to make, yes.
It's master chef only.
But yeah, it's like the viennetta.
God, I wanted that viennetta.
It looks beautiful.
Oh yeah, I understand.
I get what you're saying.
Where were you when you were a kid,
you had to see the grown ups.
Oh yes, I mean it looks so tempting.
And they made it seem like it wasn't for you.
Absolutely.
You'll never have this as a child.
This is for grown ups.
Yes.
I also kind of wanted that cat food from that same era.
Oh yeah, the fancy feast.
The real fancy feast.
She put a little green garnish on it,
but it's still just pig parts.
Did that happen?
I think of those commercials as together.
Yes, she put like a little pink parsley.
I thought serving it to the goblet was enough.
I know, the goblet was ridiculous.
The garnish.
The crystal dish, it was like a big, fat, furry,
villain cat, white James Bond cat, always.
Fat villain cat.
And she seemed to have incredible wealth,
this woman who lived by herself with her cat,
so good for her.
I like that she's still hands-on
and she feeds the cat herself.
I do too.
She doesn't have a butler do it.
Yes, that's right.
Of course, there were many dog food commercials
where the dog food looked absolutely delicious.
Which ones?
Oh, there's one.
What was it called?
They were like, pour the gravy.
Are you talking about like wagon train or what was it called?
Exactly.
What was it called?
The little covered wagon.
Chuck wagon.
Is that what it was?
And the little chuck wagon would drive through the.
Wagon train makes no sense. That's it. That makes as much the little chuck wagon would drive through the- Wagon train makes no sense.
That's it.
That makes as much sense as chuck wagon.
What a weird way to get around.
The wagon train?
Yeah, is the wagon in the front or the back?
You coming onto it?
Is it like a caboose?
Do you know what a wagon train is?
No, I know actually like the, when the,
but I'm just saying now that I'm thinking wagon train,
that doesn't, now I'm picturing just an actual train
with a wagon. If you didn't know what it was, yes.
I know what a wagon train is.
Everybody calmed down.
Stop writing to us.
Don't at me.
I know what wagon train is.
Was it chuck wagon though?
That's what you're talking about.
I think it was chuck wagon.
Yes.
And there would be, there would be a little tiny
chuck wagon pulled by horses.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Running through the kitchen.
The dog would chase it.
Yes.
I remember that.
And then they would pour the golden gravy
on top of the chuckwaggers.
It looked delicious.
Mighty dog, that was another one.
Gainsburgers.
Oh wow, you're really, when I called a such as,
he really, he came through.
Hey, these are the commercials of my youth
that made me hungry for dog food. Well, and also you weren, these are the commercials of my youth that made me hungry.
Oh, it's amazing. Well, and also you weren't given a good diet as a kid. I mean, the fact
that you were given a charred black toast, of course you thought dog food looked tantalizing.
It was strangely that the dry food was probably softer than the toast you ate. So babe, how
far along are you on the ice skating rink? Oh, great question. Let's get a status update.
Yeah.
Are you just breaking ground or like,
I haven't been down there.
This is the earliest great question
we've ever had in the show.
Oh, thank you. You're right.
You haven't said great.
We usually save great questions during the interviews.
Joan slash Burn for the interviews. Yeah.
I got basically a three by three going here.
A three by three what?
Just a space?
Square of ice.
That sounds very small.
Oh, you mean how, how big is it going to be?
Oh, it's going to be a full, I mean, the full size of the room.
So that's probably-
Okay, so you're just putting ice in what blocks at a time?
25 by 55?
This sounds like he's making it up.
And I would have hoped that plans had been drawn already.
Yeah, it sounds a little Mr.
Ramesh to me.
I don't want it like a make it up as you go for ice skatering. Well, it's tough Mr. Ramesh to me. I don't want a make it up as you go for ice skating.
Well, it's tough when you're on ice skates
and you don't really know how to.
There's no need to be on ice skates right now, babe.
Well, I'm on the block of ice.
So I gotta keep going.
This is why, like when you're painting,
you start with the corner.
Yes, that's what he's thinking.
So you are standing on a square of ice.
You shouldn't be. You really shouldn't be. I've fallen on a square of ice. You shouldn't be.
You really shouldn't be.
I've fallen over a few times.
Super dangerous.
Sure.
But now if I just expand from where I'm standing,
you know, we'll get there.
You'll be on more ice.
We'll get there.
Why don't you put out like a little carpet
like they do in hockey games.
Great idea.
Where some luminary has to, you know,
I guess when they sing the national anthem
or something like that. Oh yeah, that's right.
Yeah.
Oh, I see.
Oh, do you?
Well, I gotta get off this ice first.
Yes.
Yeah.
Do you know how to ice skate?
Absolutely not.
No, I'm learning.
It's just for July.
I figure we just tackle two birds, one stone.
That's right.
It's sort of like a father daughter thing
he never had to do.
Right.
You know, we do, we are trying to make up
for lost time with July because the twins
caused us so much trouble.
Yeah.
Of course, I'm talking about my twins, Matt and the preakness, the preakness.
And oh, by the way, they had a screening. So as everyone knows, as everyone knows,
they have a parent prank show that they sold to the Chick-fil-A network and the streaming network.
That's real. And, and this is, you know, I was excited for them.
They took out the part where they ended up
getting me fully nude, but only blurring out my face.
That's right.
They took that part out.
That's right.
But what they thought would be hilarious
is if they pranked the audience
while they were watching the screening.
I mean, I guess that makes sense.
It does make sense, except for they really,
what they did was just,
well, I mean, they ended up flooding the theater.
Oh boy.
And it was terrible.
And initially one thought they were doing a rat prank
and the other one thought they were doing flood prank.
And then Matt ended up doing rat.
Rat prank is just there's a rat there.
Many rats, several rats.
So Matt went rat prank and Pringness went flood prank.
And so unfortunately it was not only a flood,
but it was several rats just floating around,
everybody as they tried to get out.
It was awful.
It's like that one scene in Indiana Jones
in The Last Crusade.
It was.
Now-
A little bit, yes.
That's a huge miscommunication, I think,
and very surprising.
Especially since they really work together well
in the editing process and putting it together.
And they're twins.
And they're twins. They don't always share a putting it together. Yeah. And they're twins.
And they're twins.
They don't always share a brain.
Apparently not.
Yeah, they don't.
But I don't know what the final word is
on whether or not it's going forward because of that,
because there's a lot of complaints.
If I were them, I would, well, of course.
But at the same time,
there were several TikTok viral videos that happened.
And so then now it's being talked about
and that's all that matters.
It doesn't matter that 17 people went to the hospital
and several rats went to the hospital.
Oh no!
Same hospital?
Yes.
Well, you know, the rat wing.
The rat wing of our veterinary hospital is in-
The dragon slayer rat wing, of course,
again, I mentioned Carol Dragonslayer.
Yes, and so, I mean, she wants her name on all the buildings
but most of them are taken.
So she has weird ones, like the rat wing at the hospital
and the tiny envelope wing at the mail.
At the mail place.
And that's what's sad, she couldn't even get something
named at the post office.
She had to go with the mail place,
which is a secondary post office we have.
That's right.
You can have a peel box there.
You can, yeah. And you can buy. Not to be confused with mailboxes, unfortunately, which is at your post office we have. That's right. It's a, it's where you can have a PO box there. You can. Yeah.
And you can buy.
Not to be confused with mailboxes, unfortunately,
which is at your falls.
That's right.
This is just the mail place.
Yeah.
She also has her name on that museum of newspaper boxes.
You know, what's really strange is there's not that much difference in the newspaper
boxes over the years.
It's really, it's not worth a museum.
I don't think.
I don't think so.
I'm sure most people don't even know what we're talking about.
Probably right.
Explain.
Yes.
Newspaper boxes.
There used to be these, these, these metal boxes on street corners and you put some coins
in and you get a new, they really aren't anywhere anymore.
You'd have to see them in an old movie.
You know, the last one I saw was in, I was in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
This was a while ago and there was one and it was being used as a trash cam.
The glass had been kicked in and people had just been putting trash in there.
And I guess, hey, thanks for putting it somewhere.
Yeah, in the receptacle of some kind.
There's certainly no papers to go in there anymore.
Yeah, well that actual trash can,
overflowing, never to be emptied.
Why not put some in this old relic?
I've seen these weird videos
that I still don't feel like they're true,
that are like in New York City,
and there's a trash can,
and it shows the trash and getting emptied,
and it turns out that the trash goes,
the chute goes way below the pavement so that there's like a huge
like sort of a container underneath that is where all because otherwise it would
make sense I've seen several videos of this now where it's everyone is blowing
every container I very much oh okay careful how you say that babe you're
trying to you're being sneaky I didn't't say it. I said contain. Well, now I can't hear any other way.
You did sort of say that.
Oh, no.
Doug, how are we doing on time?
Oh, here we go.
Oh, he's skating.
That's a real problem.
It's a timer. 15 minutes. Oh, that's a real problem. To the timer.
And we got 15 minutes.
Oh, we got, I'm so sorry.
What am I hearing?
I heard something.
That was my Duolingo.
Oh, what were you doing, Burt?
I'm learning a language.
What are you learning?
I'm learning Italian.
Wow.
Now this is interesting
because I thought you knew a lot of Italian
because you grew up in Meady, Italy.
But they speak a dialect.
Oh, they do.
That's not standard Italian.
Oh, what is it?
I guess it's a Pompeian sort of dialect.
A lot of badabings.
They were always saying badabing in Pompeii.
There's not that many bad things.
Wow.
But it's like, I think I've done this for you before.
Like if you were to say lasagna, you say,
it really sounds like a hairball coming up.
Yes. Absolutely.
And that is the dialect that you grew up with.
You mean now you're learning the proper, now it's the proper way to say it. Yes. Because, absolutely. And that is the dialect that you grew up with, you mean? Yes.
Now you're learning the proper,
now what's the proper way to say it?
Yes, because, oh, lasagna.
Lasagna is yes in Italian.
A lot of it, a lot of, oh, what's the proper way
to say yes?
No, I said, what's the word for lasagna?
You said yes.
Oh, I see.
A lot of Italian words are one-to-one.
Okay, yeah, fair enough.
So spaghetti, spaghetti.
Sure, sure.
Why do you think they've had to add all that extra phlegm to it in
medium Italy? That just makes no sense. I think because of the
the smoke from the volcano. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Medium
Italy has its own small volcano that is active. Well, he's
right in the middle of town. It's not huge. I meant Pompei
but uh but you are right. Of course. Me too. It's constantly threatening to go off.
It's called pimpi. It's steamy.
People greet it on their way to work.
Yes. It's good luck to greet the volcano.
We greet the tiny volcano.
Volcano. The which? Volcano.
Oh, volcano.
Oh, that's so cute.
Yeah.
So this is great.
Does Gabby enjoy this?
Do you speak Italian to her?
Well, Gabby already speaks Italian.
Oh.
She speaks many languages.
And we're planning a trip.
Oh, boy.
Why do you say that?
Nothing.
The last trip you planned to a foreign country
was really, I mean, let's,
you shouldn't wonder why I'm saying oh boy
Well, as everyone knows this season started Stephen started out with learning that Gabby and burnt went to Mykonos and on their way back
I immediately had to make a lava landing because yes
Volcano erupted and they had to scramble onto the top of the plane rescued by a swarm of helicopters great sex after
Great summation I've gotten good at telling the story really have so where erupted and they had to scramble onto the top of the plane, rescued by a swarm of helicopters, great sex after. That's good, Joan.
Great summation.
I've gotten good at telling the story.
You really have.
So where are you gonna go now?
We're going to go to Italy.
Okay, where?
And we're gonna do like a sort of tour.
Oh, fun.
Of different places.
And we're going to go to Venice, Venizia.
Okay.
And speaking of Indiana Jones and-
Oh, sure, sure, yes. And we're going to take back samples of the water.
Oh, why is that?
Because it's very polluted.
And we want to see what happened because remember during quarantine, the dolphins came back to Venice.
That is true. You can see straight down all of a sudden. It really cleaned up.
Yes. We want to see what exactly is in there.
Okay.
You're not allowed to do this.
Oh, great. Okay. Yeah, I wasn't sure that they would even allow it through customs.
No.
How are you going to hide all the water, the little samples?
Shampoo bottles.
They never suspect that.
They never suspect it.
You just said that so casually. Okay, great.
You should try to make pizza with that water. They say it's all in the water.
What Doug?
That's true Doug.
That is a common refrain with pizza,
but I don't think this water is potable.
I believe before Caesar came up with pizza pizza,
it was, it's all in the water.
That's what the little guy said in the initial promo.
That's right.
And he eclipsed the noise.
Yes. Wow, this is Adela Field for me. initial promo. That's right. And he eclipsed the void.
Wow. This is a Adela field for me. I have to also say to you,
you're aware there's volcanoes in Italy.
I don't know if you're going to be near them,
but I mean, it just seems like borrowing trouble to go
someplace where there might be another lava.
What do you think were volcano magnets?
I don't know.
Gabby's a fire jumper.
I think maybe you're a, you're a volcano jumper now.
Smoke jumper.
I'm sorry. I always get that wrong.
I know I'm sorry, Gabby.
How do you say I'm sorry in Italian? Miri spiace.
Miri spiace.
Is that good?
That was pretty good.
I just spit all over my microphone.
Miri spiace.
Miri spiace.
Oh, Povero.
What's happening? I don't know what's happening. A lot of my way into being Italian is the mother from the exorcist.
Who was Greek?
Who was Greek?
But I feel like the vibe is still correct.
Wow.
Cause I was thinking like, if you speak Italian, you know, to Gabby, it's in this sort of like
Italian lover sort of voice.
And it doesn't come out that way
when you're playing an old woman.
Italian through the voice of a Greek woman.
Well, I don't stay there.
I sort of, I, I-
Okay, it's just a jumping off point.
Yes.
Okay.
Oh, carina, carina Gabby.
Sexy.
I love you so, I love you okay.
I heard I love you when they're somewhere.
Yes.
Okay.
So this is exclusively why you're going is to get the water.
Yes.
And as Doug says, make a pizza out of it.
I know that's not what you're going to do.
That's right.
But we are going to get that because we want to find out
what is in that water.
Okay.
That's polluting it so much.
And of course, you know the famous story
of Katherine Hepburn's leaky eyeballs.
Oh yes.
Because of what was it called African Queen?
No.
Okay, that was a different movie.
Yes, that was more African.
She had to swim in some sort of water.
Yeah, she had a scene where she had to fall into the canals of Venice.
And then after that her eyes permanently leaked for the rest of her life.
That's terrible.
Like her eyes were always brimming with tears.
Oh my goodness.
I was like the loons with my geese.
They geese and the loons always have leaking eyes.
I can't do Catherine Hepburn.
I thought that was terrific.
I thought it'd be fun to try.
Oh God, I loved her.
She was wonderful.
She could wear a pant.
Well, when is this trip happening?
This trip is going to happen during our break.
Okay.
So I'll be able to tell you all about it.
I can't wait to hear about it.
Yeah.
During the break?
I hope you don't get apprehended.
No, babe, not the break of our podcast that we are doing right now.
I don't know if I have that long.
In general break, you know, between season-
Gotcha.
Steven and whatever it's going to be.
Good Kathar Hepburn. and whatever it's gonna be. Whatever it's gonna be. Whatever it's gonna be.
Good Kathar Hepburn.
All right, we're gonna take a break.
And when we return, we will have,
yeah, short one.
Nobody needs to bring their passports.
And when we return, we will have a guest here
on The Neighborhood Listen.
Uh...
Hello, everybody.
It's Nicole.
Do you know what?
It's the holiday time.
It's the holiday season and it is one of my favorite times.
I love gift giving, especially because I have a kid now and whether or not the gift is coming
from Santa or me, it doesn't matter because the joy on that kid's face is the greatest, but I also really love giving gifts
to my family and you know what?
It's really great when you get someone a gift
that they wouldn't necessarily get from themselves,
that little bit of luxury that they don't know
they're missing.
For quality gifts at an affordable price,
my go-to is Quince.
Now, Quince lets you treat your loved ones and yourself,
don't forget yourself this holiday season,
please don't forget yourself,
to everyday luxury at an affordable price,
something everyone needs in their closet, in my opinion,
Quinn's iconic Mongolian cashmere sweaters,
which start at $50, or the ultimate year round gifts,
check out their 14 karat gold jewelry,
Italian leather handbags, and European linen sheet sets.
Yum!
Whatever you're looking for,
all Quinn's items are priced 50 to 80%
less than similar brands.
I wanna be very clear
I said young but that doesn't mean they're edible. Please don't eat them. How do they do that?
How do they go with pricing at 50 to 80 percent less than similar brands by partnering directly with top factories and cutting out the cost
Of the middleman which passes the savings on to you. Quinn's is on the nice list. Oh sure
They are they only work with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices
and they use premium fabrics and finishes for that luxury feel in every piece.
Now I just recently purchased this incredibly chic and incredibly comfortable and incredibly
versatile white button down shirt.
It's a short sleeve shirt.
I love it.
It goes with everything.
I'm never taking it off.
I mean, I will.
Okay.
Gift luxury this holiday season
without the luxury price tag.
Go to quince.com slash TNL for 365 day returns
plus free shipping on your order.
That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash TNL.
Do get free shipping and a 365 day return policy.
Quince.com slash TNL.
Happy holidays.
You whoosie, it's Susie.
Anybody have a pig that would eat freezer food?
I need to clean out some.
Just leftovers like spaghetti or beef stew.
Now I know from cartoons that pigs love to eat people food.
They like spaghetti.
They like lasagna. They like
bologna. What else do they like? Keely May P.A. So send your pig over, send your
hungry, hungry pig over and let him go to town on my freezer. I'm Suzy.
Mian, welcome back to...
I like that, Mian.
That was really cartoonish and fun.
Oh, I didn't mean to be cartoonish.
Oh, but I just enjoyed it.
I enjoyed it.
Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I don't know what was going on with me.
But welcome back to The Neighborhood Listen.
And Joan, we have a guest as we always do right here at the Kitchen Island.
Folks, in case you're not aware, what we do is we scour the NeighborHap, the social networking
application for neighborhoods, and we look for some of our neighbors who have something
interesting to say.
And this week is no different.
Now, if you see a post that perhaps we've missed, screenshot it and send it to us at
burntandjohnatgmail.com.
So well done. Thank you. This is great. a post that perhaps we've missed. Screenshot it and send it to us at burntandjohn at gmail.com.
So well done. Thank you very much. This is great. I appreciate the positive reinforcement. You're
welcome. This is a post that's in the crime and safety section. It is posted by Mora. Mora posts
a picture of an envelope, like one of those puffy envelopes.
Oh sure, yep.
And there's some rocks strewn about.
And Maura writes, has anyone out there received rocks?
Rock emoji in the mail, mail truck emoji,
with your name and address and you don't know who sent it?
Why did I receive it and I'm so confused?
Confused emoji, double question mark.
And here to talk to us more about these rocks in the mail
is Maura, Maura, welcome to The Neighborhood Listen.
Hi.
Hi.
Thank you so much.
Oh, thank you so much for having me.
I really, I need to be here.
Oh, wow, okay.
Is everything okay?
No one's ever said that before? Yeah, I don't know.
It's almost sounds like we're,
this is a safe haven in some way.
I hope so.
I have, I hope no one knows my location at this moment.
Oh my.
And I hope I can use this opportunity to get some answers.
Wow.
I hope so too.
Can I ask how long ago this was that you received Roxen
was only one time?
It was one time.
It was nearly a year ago.
Oh, 11 months.
That's longer than I was expecting.
I thought, yeah, me too.
No, it was nearly a year ago.
It was about 11 and a half months.
Okay, so close to a year.
Almost, and I will be celebrating the anniversary of receiving these rocks. But
well, whatever the opposite of a celebration is, because it's honestly, this has been the worst
year of my whole entire life.
So sorry.
Why are you saying that like weird stuff started happening ever since you got these rocks? Are
you just afraid of not knowing who gave them to you?
The second one.
The second one.
Okay, so how many rocks were there?
What'd you say?
About seven.
Okay, seven small rocks.
One more of a shard than a rock.
Oh, okay.
Possibly a shaving from a rock,
possibly a piece of a rock.
Maybe some shale. Maybe, maybe some shale. Some shale. possibly a shaving from a rock, possibly a piece of a rock.
Maybe some shale.
Maybe, maybe some shale.
I've had the rocks analyzed.
They can.
That's their first supposition.
No, I was just complimenting Joan on her supposition.
I was just also noting and then in turn
that that was the first supposition
we've ever had on the podcast.
That's true.
Do you think, could the shaving or shard,
I wonder if that was an afterthought where they said,
I could probably get a shaving in there.
I, and I, well, and also it's quite sharp.
If you handle the shaving.
That feels intentional to you, you're saying.
Yes, I believe it to be intentional.
Really putting the puff of that envelope to the test.
That's right.
Yes.
And there was no return address.
I can't, was there anything on the picture? There was no return address. Was there anything on the picture?
There was no return address.
No markings or nothing.
No, simply a barcode.
It was sent priority mail.
Oh wow.
From the United States Postal Service.
Oh there is a return address.
What does it say, Byrne?
I can't make it out.
Shoot.
There's no name, but there is an address.
Were you able to make it out?
No, it was blurry.
It looked intentionally blurred.
Oh, so what I'm saying is an accurate representation. Oh great, it was blurry. It looked intentionally blurred. Oh, so what I'm saying is an accurate representation.
Oh, great. It was intentionally blurred.
It looks to me like someone rubbed oil on that part of the label to blur it on purpose.
Why would you go to the trouble? I mean, I suppose you really can't mail something
without putting the address on it, but then-
Not priority.
Not when you go to the post office or even that mailbox store in our town.
Oh yeah, that's right. Mailboxes, unfortunately, or the mail place. We have many options. with the post office or even that mailbox store in our town.
Oh yeah, that's right, mailboxes unfortunately,
or the mail place.
We have many options.
But why would you then go to the trouble of writing it
just to oil it out?
I mean, it's just to...
I mean, if you're going to send somebody rocks
with no explanation, why not do that as well?
I guess, just to be extra clean.
Just to be clear, there was no note with the rocks?
No note.
Wow.
Just rocks.
Six rocks, a piece of shale, an oiled out return address.
Yes.
Which my, I think the only logical assumption
is that this was sent by someone who hates me
and wishes me ill.
Okay.
I mean, I could say rocks
isn't the most pleasant thing to be sent,
but I'm not sure it necessarily-
It's disappointing.
It sure is.
It's Christmasy in a way.
It's like you're on the naughty list,
but it's not as bad as what other things you could receive.
Now, I also want to know,
did anyone ever respond that they also received rocks?
Are you the only one?
And you don't think it was Santa Claus
who sent these rocks?
Hey ho!
Oh, sorry.
That's Burns' impression of Santa
and it's never quite accurate as you can hear,
but he doesn't hear it.
I know, I found that frightening.
Yeah, see?
Thank you for someone else to come in here and hear this.
It is, that's not at all.
That's more of a, it sounds like more of an evil elf
laughing.
Okay, Joan, okay.
We can do notes after the show.
No, I think this is a good time.
Oh!
I didn't, I came in here agitated.
You know what she, yeah, she actually already
is sort of traumatized.
So that's-
You said optionally.
Just me?
Thanks, I'll take that note right now.
Less notes for me later. So I do think that, you
know, we need to keep our voices calm and steady and nothing that might sort of sound
threatening. Did anyone else, sorry, did you say if anyone else got rocks?
Nobody got rocks.
And people told you that? They said, no, I haven't.
Well, somebody, somebody said she had received 10 pounds of rocks.
What?
But then she followed up and said she had ordered them.
Oh, that's different.
That was such a mislead.
I would say it was a waste of my time.
Yeah, absolutely.
That was a mean trick.
How were you phrasing the question before you posted?
How was I?
When you would say to people,
oh, well.
Have you received rocks in the middle? This might be an important distinction.
Did you ever actually talk to your neighbors in person
or is the only time you asked on this app?
Well, no, I've not talked to any of my neighbors.
Oh, I see.
That's what I was wondering.
Well, because I'm afraid.
Sure.
Well, do you have any reason to be?
What are your neighbors like?
Well, my neighbors,
we all seem to have a pleasant relationship.
Okay.
We have, and I live next to a number of people who I would now call my close friends.
Oh, okay.
I've lived on Jerusalem Thorn Drive for 30 years.
Right.
Oh yeah.
And the Jerusalem Thorn community, I would say we're very tight.
Most of us go to the same church.
But I just, I for the first time
for the past 11 and a half months,
no longer feel safe in my neighborhood
because I believe someone is trying to get to me.
Why would it be a neighbor, not some random stranger
or forgive me some person who from far away
is interested in you or is upset with you,
but why are you thinking it's a neighbor?
I have something to add on to that.
Okay, okay.
Is there some association that you personally have
with Rox where someone knew this would be the worst
thing to send you?
Good add on.
Thank you, Joan.
Well, this-
It's your first add on.
Well, I'll answer your question first, Joan.
Okay, that's fine.
I believe it to be one of my neighbors
simply because these are the only people
I really would say I know in town.
I have some other casual relationships, of course.
You know, I go to work, I go to the gas station,
I get my coffee, I know other people.
But to me, this feels like-
It feels personal to you.
It feels personal.
Okay.
And how about Bird's question?
Yeah, now my question.
Well, I think when you're trying to kill someone in the mafia, you put rocks in their pockets.
Oh, right.
Are you too familiar with the mafia?
I'm too familiar.
I mean, I wouldn't say I'm too familiar.
I've heard of the mafia.
I'd say I'm the right amount of familiar with the mafia.
Yeah.
I, I, I, I meant the two of you, but, but I'm happy that you're not also overly familiar
with the mafia.
Yeah, me too.
At the, at the risk of sounding like I'm too familiar with the mafia.
I think that the mafia does a thing where they tie you to something heavy, like some cement.
Yes.
Famous cement overshoes.
That's yeah.
And then they throw you in the water.
That's yes, that's yes.
And the rocks in the pockets, I think is more
of a Virginia Wolf thing.
Oh, is it?
Oh, so that's more for sad, sad lonely.
Do it yourself.
Yeah, that's true.
A DIY project.
Okay.
Well, either way, it's sinister, don't you think?
Well, it is. That is a hard project. Okay. Well, either way it's sinister. Don't you think? Well, it is.
That is a hard agree.
But I guess I'm wondering,
have there been any incidences before this happened
with a neighbor that makes you think this?
I know you said you associate rocks with, you know,
but that's just because of mafia.
So what, do you have someone in mind?
It almost feels like you're thinking of someone.
I have another add on.
Oh, go ahead.
And also is there a difference between
an incidence and an incident?
An incidence and an incident?
That feels like a, like a, like a past progressive note
to me. It's not.
I'm honestly wondering.
I think an incident describes a happening
and an incidence maybe is a modifier
to describe something that happened.
Like you did great, you're not on the spot,
I want you to feel safe, okay?
Don't worry about it.
We could look it up later.
It's not important right now.
If this is not the right answer,
I would ask neither of you threaten to kill me.
Incidentals related to these?
I'm not quite sure.
I think there's a different,
well, it can mean a couple of things.
They have to be related in some way.
Well, of course.
They can't be not at all related.
Sure.
If you're gonna ask me about,
my reputation is somewhat on the line.
I only think of charges in a hotel
when I hear incidentals.
Sorry, that's where my mind goes.
And it doesn't have anything to do with incident.
Okay.
So is there anyone in mind that you have neighbor-wise?
Is there anyone that, like your brain went, I bet it's blank.
Well, I think it could be anyone because, um, I,
I do think there are a great number of people in my life who hate me.
Why is this? What? Why? I've had a lot. So lovely, perfectly pleasant,
somewhat paranoid, maybe, but who isn't these days?
Why do you think everyone hates you? Well, I, I mean, there's a number.
I've lived a full life.
I've, um, I have, I have a great number of people who love me.
Great number of people who hate me.
I am good.
This great number.
What is this great number of people who hate you?
What, what can I ask?
What do you do for a living?
Do you have a, are you a parking? That was my next question.
Yes, she said she goes to work.
So what do you do?
I work at the library.
You work at the library.
You have a great number of people that hate you.
Yes.
You would be shocked at how many enemies you make
working at the library.
What are some of the things that would cause someone
to hate you at the library?
And I want to point out,
and I can't remember her name at the moment, but we have named
her and she is our older, that's right, the older librarian who will actually chase you.
You know, and she rings a bell if you are, if you are, if you turn in your book late,
but I believe that she's been off sick for a long time and I wonder, are you filling
in for her?
We also have the dark, the dark web section of the library.
We can go on dark Facebook.
And dark microfiche.
Yeah.
Dark Facebook.
It's actually a pretty positive place, dark Facebook.
Oh, that's good.
Really? Well, that's good to know.
It's nice to hear.
So-
Sort of an opposite take on it?
Yeah.
You're at the library and are you running the front desk
or are you restocking?
Well, I guess not restocking, but you know,
putting books back to where they're supposed to be
that are being turned in because people are scared
of what happens when it's late.
What is your primary job there?
I work, my primary job is I work the front desk.
Okay.
And I do, I work in the mornings
because Edna, even before her illness,
she sleeps quite late because of being elderly.
And so I take the morning shift.
Elderly people notoriously sleep in.
My grandmother always used to take long naps
in the middle of the day and she'd say,
I'm just practicing, you know, for death.
Oh, for death.
That's right, it was charming.
That's funny.
That's right, you sleep and sleep until it's forever.
That's all you do.
Okay, so you're at the front desk.
What are you doing?
Why do people not like you there?
They get very angry when I don't have the book they want,
which happens more and more these days
because our library is little.
It's because a lot of people don't return the books, yes.
And we don't have that much.
It is a small library, but why would they get mad at you?
They also really overestimated the staying power
of Bridges and Madison County.
And there's by far more copies of that
than any other book, including reference books. I believe it's the most copies of Bridges and Madison County. And there's by far more copies of that than any other book.
Including reference books.
I believe it's the most copies of Bridges of Madison County
anywhere in the world.
Yeah.
So we have a whole section.
It's a sad record.
Sad record to set.
We have a number of editions.
We have one with big print.
Hardcover, paperback, one with like, you know,
Meryl Streep on the cover from the movie.
Someone did pictures.
Oh really?
Yeah, we have a beautiful illustrated version.
Oh, a picture book.
Yeah, it's very thick.
It's about a foot and a half thick.
Wow.
Wow, that's a thick book.
It's a long book for pictures.
It sure is.
And it's not, they're not scrimping,
like a book that pretends to have pictures,
but just has one picture at the beginning of every chapter.
Oh yes, oh, you're so right.
That drives me crazy.
Boy do I hate those.
How dare you. Such a dirty crazy. Boy do I hate those. How dare you?
Such a dirty trick.
I could not agree more.
And so our illustrated bridges has got at least
six pictures of chapter.
I love that.
At least some of them, even more, the very visual chapters.
Oh, and they also did the children's book version
of Bridges of Madison County,
which is butterflies in Madison County.
And you can see the stories happening in the background,
but since it's adults, you know,
you only see like their feet,
and it's just a kid chasing butterflies.
It's a beautiful edition.
I read it at story time.
It's like a real Rose Crenson Gilden story.
But the text of the original story is very small.
Underneath the, yeah.
And because it's usually being read to a group of children,
they can't even see it.
Oh yeah, they can't even see it.
They think it's a small worm. When I read it, I say and look at the worm.
Oh yeah, well kids love worms.
God, they love worms too.
They just love worms.
My daughter loved worms.
Oh, you have a daughter.
Oh yes, I have an adult.
Oh my goodness.
She's an adult daughter.
Yeah, I don't own her.
She's an adult woman in the world.
Does she hate you?
She doesn't belong to me.
No, but her husband does.
Her husband, I do think could wish me dead.
Wow, okay.
How old is she?
How long has she been married?
What are their names?
Yeah, let's give it to us.
And then, grand finale, why does he hate you?
All the things, Mora.
These are really terrific questions.
You can take your time.
Thank you, thank you.
Okay, she's 29.
Her name is Erica.
Okay.
Her husband's name is Steven.
All right, oh, like our season.
Okay.
Oh, wow.
I wonder if that means.
No, no, no, I didn't.
Oh my gosh, it doesn't mean anything.
It doesn't always have to mean anything.
I'll put it, I'm gonna write it in my notebook.
I'm gonna make it, just give me a moment
while I do make a note.
I've been needing to keep a notebook.
Oh, she's got a big, this looks like a ledger at a library.
It's like a gigantic, this is not some thin little notebook
that you just write dreams in.
This is like a record.
Well, I need it for my safety.
Oh, wait, are those all, is this book entirely full
of names of people that you think hate you?
Yes, and some people who I think love me enough,
they might wanna be getting my attention.
Whoa, that is such a confusing category.
So this is late in the game for you to be introducing this,
that you feel like most likely,
someone sent you these rocks because they hate you.
Yes, 90%.
And they're trying to send you a mafia encoded message
or there's a small coterie of people who might just have a crush on you and they want to get
your attention by sending you rocks. Yes, they might be obsessed. I think there's possibly two
or three people for whom that might be the case, but I'm still putting some-
Wow, what a place to live in where you think some people are obsessed with you or love you,
and then other people really hate you and maybe want you to die.
I feel like that complicates the investigation.
It sure does.
Well, that's why this is, as I said, been the worst year of my whole entire life.
Now, why would Stephen hate you?
Well, Stephen may hate me because I hate him and have been very vocal about it.
Can I ask, is the reason why you think most of the people hate you, hate you because you
told them you hated them first?
No, just Steven.
He's the only one who's expressed, I hate you.
I hate you.
Just right to his face.
Okay.
I just don't, I don't mind that he exists in the world, but I don't think he's a good
match for my Erica because he just, he doesn't,
he doesn't have a talent.
Oh, okay.
Well, what does he do for a living?
He's a lawyer.
Well, okay.
All right.
I mean, you know, usually at least we like to see
our children with people who we know can provide for them
or maybe give something to the community.
I would say that's a trade, not a talent.
I suppose that's, I get it, I get it.
And what does your daughter do?
She teaches kindergarten. Adorable. Yes, and did you say what you did? Oh yeah, I get it, I get it. And what does your daughter do? She teaches kindergarten.
Adorable.
Yes.
And did you say what you did?
Oh yeah, library, okay, yes.
We've got you're at the library, she's teaching kindergarten,
he's a lawyer.
And how long have they been married?
Three and a half years.
Okay.
And do they live with you?
Why am I asking that?
It feels like they do.
I don't know.
I don't know why you're asking that.
No, they don't.
They asked me, they asked me and my husband, Bob, if we wanted to move in,
because they built a beautiful house with an ADU that's bigger than our house. Oh, wow.
Wow. Is it bigger than their house?
No. Their house is enormous. The ADU is simply big. And I said, I don't want to
live near Steven because I hate him. Okay. Does your husband, um, I don't want to live near Steven cause I hate him.
Okay. Does, does your husband, Bob also hates?
Yeah, I didn't know about the husband, Bob. And so I have a lot of questions about
him. No, he, he actually gets along quite well with Steve. Boy.
Well, what does Bob think about all of this? What does he think about the rocks?
Um, he, he wishes I would forget about them.
His theory is that I ordered something and forgot about it.
Ah ha ha ha ha!
Which I have done.
Can you give an example of something
you ordered and forgot about?
Yeah, some rubber sandals.
Okay.
I was looking at rubber sandals because my friend Elaine says
she wears them in the shower at the Y.
Oh, great.
I just go with my bare feet and I've never had a problem.
But it got me curious.
I was browsing.
I ultimately didn't want them because my feet are fine.
I've been showering barefoot in a public space for years
and I'm fine. Okay. But I thought barefoot in a public space for years and I'm fine.
But I thought I was clicking a button to make the picture bigger. And I ordered the sandals.
Wow. So then they showed up. Did you also take this as a potential sign that people
hated you or like were you as just confused as you were about the rocks?
Well, no, because I thought if this was a gift, that's just nice. Oh, okay.
Okay. It doesn't seem as aggressive as rocks.
Yeah, I guess not.
Rocks, no rocks.
And don't forget a piece of shale.
But I'm just thinking, why would she...
I have not forgotten.
I promise you, Maura, I have not forgotten
about that piece of shale.
Neither one of us have.
A sharp, sharp to the touch.
A sharp piece of shale.
Okay.
But I think it should be the title of the episode.
But I understand that Bob might think
that this was another incident.
And so boy, there's that word again.
It might be another example of that, but why-
Good work around.
Thank you.
But why would you have bought yourself some random rocks
is my question, you know?
I have the same question and I'm glad that you asked it.
Well, and I had the same question. And to me the answer is I didn't order them and someone
is trying to get to me.
You know what this is reminding me of?
The first season of And Just Like That, where Miranda was an alcoholic, but only at home
and during certain hours.
And she ordered a book, How to Quit Drinking.
And she thought someone else had sent it to her.
And then it turns out she sent it to herself.
Right, because she ordered it when she was drunk.
That's right.
She was drunk between nine and 11 p.m.
Do you drink?
Do you ever take any medication?
Is it just possible that you forget things like this?
I mean, I, I, I don't drink. I have one drink a year.
Oh wow. Okay.
I have sort of festive.
Yeah. I have a, I have a large glass of wine on Christmas.
Okay.
Cause it's the color of Christmas. How can you not?
Oh sure. White or red.
Exactly. Yeah. Well, exactly.
Yeah. But it's, it's a Christmas drink.
I have a glass of wine, I alternate it every year.
One white, one red.
This year's a red year.
Oh, sure, keep it, yeah, so it doesn't get boring.
You've got it.
And the only medicine I drink is Pepto-Bismol.
Oh, okay, well, I think it's hard to overdose on Pepto-Bismol.
It is, and I don't think it affects your brain in any way.
No, no.
Yeah.
Okay, well, I guess I don't know what to say
other than I still feel like you have some issue
with these neighbors because I need to know more about them.
Can I go back to Stephen?
Oh, sure, go back to Stephen quickly.
Has the subject of rocks ever come up between you?
Oh, that's a good question.
Oh, well, okay.
This is now this is something I've given a lot of thought.
Okay, great.
And I have called Steven dumb as a rock,
but behind his back.
Okay.
Behind his back only to my daughter.
Have you ever said dumb as a bag of rocks?
No, I wouldn't say that.
Cause I don't, that's what you got sent.
Yes, no, I'm not very creative. And I? I know, I wouldn't say that. Cause I don't, I don't. That's what you got sent. Yes, no, I'm not very creative.
And I, I would, I.
Have you ever said dumb as six rocks and a piece of shale?
I wish I had, I wish I had.
Cause then I would know who's targeting me.
But you did say dumb as a rock.
I said dumb as a rock.
But I'm, but I'm telling you,
I don't think Steven would make that connection.
Cause as I said,
he's competent but not talented.
He's not a spark.
Well, and apparently dumb as a rock.
So how would he make the comparison?
Well, we're going by her assessment.
I know.
I know.
He's probably not.
They have a big house.
It seems like he's doing well.
I doubt if it's the kindergarten teacher salary.
People with big houses are only smart.
Well, you don't need to be special to make money.
Let's be honest.
Well, that's very true. This is absolutely true.
But I was thinking a lawyer,
while it's not a, you don't call it a talent,
it is a sort of skilled profession.
It is, it is.
You need to pass a very difficult test.
You need to go through a bunch of review.
It's like, there's a lot of things to do.
So I mean, he's gotta be bright in some way.
We took a pottery class as a family once,
and I wish you could see the pot he made.
Okay, now that's interesting, Burnt.
Why?
Because pottery, and if a hardened clay was broken,
it might look like rocks.
Yeah.
No, you're not, nothing there?
The picture did look like rocks.
I guess, I'm just saying.
I'm just saying, I'm trying to look at all angles here.
I'll grant you that shard.
Thank you.
No, I can tell you it's rocks because I took them to a lab to get them analyzed.
A lab?
Wow, you did.
I did. I took them to the Natural History Museum has an archeology department.
Of course it does.
I had them analyze the rocks.
Oh, wow.
Okay, and?
They are rocks.
Okay, but nothing more. There was no fingerprints found on them.
There was no trace of where they might've originated from. No, I, there was, um,
I went, they'd have a machine. They can date rocks. They can say where they're,
what time they're from. I, um,
they briefly told me they were from the future, but the machine,
there was a machine had been calibrated incorrectly.
Yeah, that sounds right.
Yeah.
That would have been a totally different story.
Absolutely.
Well, I know.
Someone hates you in the future.
I know, I mean, what a black mirror.
Can you imagine?
I had Netflix, let me tell you, I had Netflix for two weeks.
I watched every black mirror.
That's right.
And then there was nothing else I wanted to watch,
so I canceled it.
Wow, wow.
I don't blame you.
Nothing is good like Black Mirror.
I mean, it's its own thing.
But okay, so they're not from the future.
They were just playing rocks.
You couldn't find anything else about them.
No, no, no.
But I do, I don't,
Steven is moving to the bottom of my list simply
because as your questions have illuminated,
I just don't think he's creative enough to do something.
Who is? Which neighbor is?
Well, my, my friend, Elaine, my best friend keeps coming up.
I would say she's, she has been icy to me ever since I got the part she wanted in our churches production of company.
Oh!
So, do you attend services at St. Genesius?
No, I go to the Methodist Church.
Oh, the Methodist Church.
Yes.
This is a wild thing in Dignity Falls that this Methodist Church cranks out amazing productions.
They really do.
Now, it is strange because they try to sort of like, I don't know, I'm just guessing.
I mean, I know that they try to put like a message about God just in them somewhere.
Yes.
But was this just straight company or did they try to do the same sort of thing?
It was straight company mostly. We had our director, Ron, he felt very strongly that he
didn't want the whole thing to be under a religious umbrella. So we had to pick one number.
Oh, okay. And which one was it?
religious umbrella. So we had to pick one number. Oh, okay.
And which one was it? Um, it was, um, do you know the, uh,
another hundred people just got off the train. Yes. Yes. Um,
so that became about difficult song. Well, yes. And Jesus sang it and he said,
Jesus is a character in this company. Only, only, only for that one song.
About this story of very couples in Manhattan
in the sixties.
That's right.
Correct, he gets one number.
And our Jesus was good.
He was good.
Oh good.
We had to actually-
Yeah, you had to be able to sing.
Yes, the Jesus we found actually is not a member
of the church.
That's usually the way it is.
You always have to import the good singer.
Yes, because no one who could sing that fast had long hair.
I mean, you could always use a wig, but I get it.
We didn't want to.
You wanted authentic.
Just didn't want to.
Just didn't want to want an authentically long hair.
You will cause he moves and you don't want the wig to fall.
He sure does.
Yes, exactly.
If the wig falls off, everyone's out of it.
It turns silly.
The wig never moves like real hair.
That's right.
It never does.
And it's too shiny.
A wig is always too shiny.
I think we're in agreement about wigs.
But so how did they change it?
What's the religious aspect of another 100 people?
Well, Jesus would say,
well, another 100 people just came into my fold.
Oh, okay.
And they're running around and they love to praise me.
Right, okay.
It's sort of-
It's a city of sinners.
Some come to work, some to pray.
Yes, you know.
You should come around sometime.
Well, listen, I mean...
I know you're in the world.
I know you're in the world.
I would love to do one of those Methodist plays.
I mean, I've always sort of...
I've dropped my resume off several times at that church.
Do you have to be a Methodist?
I mean, Jesus didn't have to be.
The guy who played Jesus did.
Well, he didn't go to the church,
but was he a Methodist?
Oh.
No. Oh, see? There you go. We told him, but it's a don't ask, don't tell. We said, don't, if you're not
a Methodist, we'd prefer to have no more information. So I actually don't even really know what his,
anything about him really, other than he had long hair and boy, he sing fast. I bet. And who did you, were you in it?
Yes. Well, yes. Yes. I mean, I beat Elaine.
I beat Elaine.
That's right. That's right. I, my brain blacked out when I heard about the just existence of
this production for a second. So I did forget that. Yeah, of course. So, all right. So which
part is it that you kicked her out for? Well, ladies who lunch, of course.
Oh, of course. Of course. Joanne. Yes.
Yes. I mean, every lady in the church wanted that. Of course. Of course. Of course. Yes. I mean, every lady in the church wanted that. Of course.
They auditioned. They had to add another day. I just noticed you're wearing a huge white
men's shirt and leggings. Yes. Yes. It's close to moving. And so, okay, you get this part and Elaine's furious. She still get to be
in the show. Yes, but she was just in that weird scene where people smoke weed.
I'm not familiar. It's really forgettable.
Couple gets really high and that one person, that one lady doesn't really get to sing a whole lot.
Right.
And so it's not, you know, if you're not really Joanne
and if they choose to make the Bobby role,
which is the lead, a female,
which they did recently on Broadway,
there's really not that many other great roles for ladies.
I love when there's a loophole like that.
It's like Bobby can also be a woman saying,
we gotcha. Of course it could.
We gotcha. Absolutely.
And people ask a woman more often than a man nowadays,
when are you gonna get married?
It's true.
It's very true.
So, okay, and I bet you were fantastic.
How many shows did you guys have?
Why do you bet that?
This is nothing against you, Maura.
I'm just wondering why Joan was so certain
that you were fantastic.
You know why?
Because that song is all about watching all the other women
and judging them and guessing what it is that they're up to
and more really kind of exhibits some of that sensibility
of like, those people hate me, those people,
that peppers might love me.
And also the way she's judged Steven,
maybe perhaps unfairly.
Joan, you've made an airtight case here.
Well, but this production was before I got the rocks
and I used to be different.
Hey, what?
You, okay.
Oh, you never were suspicious of people.
No, I did hate Stephen, you're correct.
Okay, the Stephen hate state.
But I'm right about that.
Oh.
And I used to be so carefree.
I never locked my door.
I left my purse on the trolley.
Oh, I would say that's-
When I went into the store. That's weird. The trolley. Well, you know on the trolley when I went into the store.
Oh, that's way too trolley.
Well, you know, the trolley, that cute little.
We have a Dignity Falls trolley that really only goes on two separate streets. And it's now run by
like a robot, but it used to be run by a guy named Cheddar McBurger.
Cheddar McBurger, yeah.
Cheddar the trolley man.
This is all coming back to me now. Yeah.
Yeah. And he died. Cheddar McBurger the trolley Cheddar the trolley man. This is all coming back to me now. Yeah.
Yeah.
And he died.
Cheddar McBurger the trolley man.
He did die.
Yes.
He did die.
Which is sort of sad for him, but good for the robot.
It was a terrible thing because he's going down the tracks and there's three people tied
up on the tracks.
Oh no.
He said, I could switch the tracks, but then I would save those people
for, and you know, the decision made him have a stroke and he died.
Yeah.
So, and the trolley ended up actually somehow killing all the people.
Yeah.
It killed the three people on both tracks.
It's amazing to me. The trolley still runs. It looped around. Yeah, it killed the three people on both tracks. It's amazing to me.
I can't believe they're still using that trolley. It's gruesome.
It's a dark mark.
We should clean it though.
Yes. Yeah. It's all charred.
Okay. So, so this,
this experience of receiving these six small rocks
and one sharp charred.
Don't forget the shale.
Yes, and the sharp piece of shale.
Has changed you.
Yes.
Were there, and I feel like I have to ask this, Mora.
Were you ever sent anything ominous or suspicious
ever again in the interviewing?
Oh, that's such a good,
I was going to ask that a little while ago.
Yes. Anything else happened in the 11 and a half months?
Well, no, because I refuse to receive mail now.
Oh, how does that work?
I put two pieces of tape across my mailbox and I've written a sign that says,
take it back. Well, that's got to make Bob furious.
So what does he have to go down to the post office and collect all the mail? He does he's he's so angry at me. Oh boy. I bet you missed a lot of bills
Well, yes our lights turned off once. Oh, no, but I keep telling Bob you can do that on the computer now
Well, this is true. I mean we have paperless billing for so many things. Yes, but I mean
So has Bob reported any other rocks in the mail any other sort of things that should not be in the mail when he goes there to pick it up?
No, no. He said it's it's bills.
I received a birthday card from my sister.
And I have told him if it's not absolutely necessary, I don't want to hear about it.
Then I guess here's my suggestion
that this was just a one-off thing.
It doesn't seem like there's any follow-up.
It has been almost a year.
I think maybe you could just let it go.
I think you could let it go.
Just forget about it.
Yeah.
I think that's what the rock people want.
Oh, now they're rock people.
I thought this was just one individual.
We don't know.
It's an entire race.
Maura says we don't know.
A race? I don't know. You don't think there. But Laura says we don't know. We don't know. Race, I don't know.
You don't think there are people made of rocks?
No, I don't think so.
Breaking up it's themselves to say.
When I heard the rocks were from the future
for that split second before the museum.
Of course, then you can entertain that thought for sure.
I could entertain that thought.
Our future will become rocks.
Yes, yes.
Well, cause you know, rocks are resilient.
But they sure are.
They're so true.
They really, they really are resilient, but they really
they are. They they sure have.
They've taken all kind of funny is that Elaine Stritch, who, of
course, originated ladies who lunch character Joanne and wore
a famous famously wore a long white shirt.
One of my favorite quotes about her.
Yes, you didn't know.
One of my favorite quotes about her is that she talks about
everybody's got something to deal with.
Right. You know, and she's in the back of a cab and she's talking and she's just trying to like
connect us all as a human.
She says, everybody's got a bag of rocks.
And I love that.
We really all do have a bag of rocks.
We all do have a bag of rocks.
And you know what?
So do you, Maura, you have a bag of rocks.
You have a literal bag of rocks.
Oh, oh, oh, maybe it is Elaine because she knows that quote from the Elaine
Stritch documentary. And so she sent you your own bag of rocks because she figured you had
everything in your life is perfect. She must've thought she had it in the bag because her
name is Elaine. That's right. You are so correct. They gotta give it to me. I'm Elaine. And
also she can sing and I actually cannot sing.
Well, to be fair, you can really speak that song.
Yes, my take, I just, I talked it.
Yep, yep, that's what you do.
Yes, and so, and I think that's actually what
made me stand out from the pack
because everyone was singing.
And I believe that-
So even like the big rise at the end,
you just sort of talked.
I believe Elaine recorded-
I jogged.
You just did a little rise.
Yes, yes, well, I said it long. Yes, yes, well I said it long.
I said it long.
I said it long.
Well, singing is just the same talk.
Yeah, well.
Or organized screaming, as I like to say.
Exactly, exactly.
I do believe that Elaine recorded that number
with a cigarette in her hand.
Yes, there's footage of it, right?
She's screaming and yelling.
Oh, she's so angry.
It's the best, she's the best.
So wait a second, we might've nailed it here. And in that case, you know, Elaine, she's not a bad, she's so angry. It's the best. She's the best. So wait a second. We might've, we might've nailed it here. And in that case,
you know, she's not a bad, she's not a bad lady. Here's why she didn't follow up
at all. She did it in the heat of the moment. Was it, was it right around?
Was it soon after you got the part? Because that was 11 months ago.
It was, um, it was, it wasn't, it wasn't that soon after I got the part.
Well, this, the, our production was, it was in, gosh,
it was before the pandemic.
Oh wow, this was a long time ago.
But it was a very memorable production and I just-
If you do say so.
I mean, every, people talked about it for quite some time.
Do you know what, it's the only good review
Mitch McNuck gave that year, I will say.
That is true.
And he never does that.
He never gives good reviews.
I mean, I saw him in the audience.
Oh, he did?
He was weeping.
Oh, wow.
He did, I think, not to gossip,
but he had recently gone through
a pretty harrowing divorce, I think.
Oh, yes.
One of many.
To a woman no one ever saw.
No. Ever.
No. We didn't even, no one no one ever saw. No. Ever.
No.
We didn't even, no one even knew he was married
when he announced his divorce.
He would shorn her name into his columns.
Yes.
Melba, I think he called her.
Melba.
Melba.
Like the toast.
You like the toast.
Yes.
Yes.
Very much so.
Yeah.
Well, I still think it might be a lame. There was one reviewer who said,
who should we blame for this production?
Blame, by the way, an anagram of my wife's name, Melba.
Blame an anagram.
And he meant blame in a nice way.
Oh, well, he wrote that in our,
I'm thinking of our company review.
And he said, who should I blame?
No, no, no.
He loved, and boy, did he rave about Jesus's hair.
He said that was really the highlight.
He said there's the perfect amount of shine.
And I believe you
got a good write up too.
I, well, I, you know, I, I, who, who can remember, but I clearly you do, but that's okay. My
talk singing, maybe she could recite it word. Magnetic. No, that is what he said. I really do think it might be Elaine
and in that case I wouldn't be worried, you know,
because I don't think Elaine's gonna do anything cruel
or nefarious or scary.
Well you don't know Elaine.
Elaine?
Oh, oh, is there something we don't know about Elaine?
Is Elaine sort of a nefarious character?
Well, Elaine, I think,
can become psychotic when she's angry.
That's a very specific.
It really is.
Yes.
Not literally, but she's gotten.
And it's not every time.
It's just it can happen.
It's like one of the Incredible Hulk
just sometimes turned into the Hulk.
That's right.
That didn't happen this time.
I guess I'm going to get beat up.
You can't plan anything.
Yeah.
So when you say psychotic, is that an exaggeration
or is she, is there some sort of mental illness
that she has?
No, and let me be clear.
I probably should not use that word.
Probably not.
What I mean is she has expressed some displeasure
with my behavior before.
Okay, so that's not necessarily psychotic.
That is a different story.
Escrow, my 30 year old dog has come in to say hello.
Sorry, Maura, I hope that you're not allergic.
I think it's sweet that you're lying
about Escrow's age on his behalf.
He is 30.
Look at you, you're 50 for your date.
So it's very different than the word psychotic, which she just described, I would say. Sometimes she has problems with your behavior, and you can't address that as being psychotic.
Oh boy.
Oh man.
Well, here's what I think.
I think that Elaine was jealous that you got this role.
I think she probably is familiar
with the bag of rocks quote.
I think she sent this to you as a gag,
thinking you would know it was from her
because you are friends.
Right, no need to explain.
She'll get this.
Just a funny and joke.
Yes, yes, yes.
And you know what?
I'm gonna throw in some sharp shale just for the hell of it.
Maybe she's just confronted with rocks.
The quote wasn't everybody's got a bag of rocks and some shale,
but why so little? Why, why, why would the rocks be so little? It's if I pick, I picture bag of rocks as like a tiny little like satchel,
I guess I'm not like a tiny little like coin purse.
I'm not picturing a gigantic bag.
No, it's like one of the smaller,
oh wait, you're talking about in the quote or in the-
Yes, that's what I picture in the quote.
I picture something small.
I picture a small bag of rocks.
She's saying it should be bigger maybe.
Oh, I think it should be bigger.
Oh, you're thinking it should be like a-
Everybody has a bag-
I can hear Doug nodding.
I can literally hear him nodding.
I think there's middle ground-
Ben, do you agree?
Were you picturing a big bag?
Oh yeah, bigger than a sandwich bag.
Yeah, I feel like it's a bag that's inconvenient.
At least a creature bag.
It's not necessarily a knapsack full of it.
I guess I was thinking of a rock in your shoe.
That's what I was thinking of.
How do you see the bag of rocks?
Well, big.
Okay, I mean, I stand alone and thinking it was tiny.
I don't know why I did.
I was thinking everyone's-
What would be the point of mentioning it?
That doesn't seem like that much of a burden if it's just a little pouch.
Like a rock in your shoe. You know, just an inconvenience.
It's a bag!
Well, it's a shoe I can see.
Wow, I am on the losing end of this argument.
And Elaine is not alive anymore to tell us which one it is.
Oh, great mystery.
Up there with Easter Island.
A small bag of rocks is like a treasure.
Maybe she was trying to say everyone has a treasure in their life.
Oh, she definitely wasn't. She was talking about tragedy.
But, okay, well, I do think you're right, Bernd, in that she thought this would be kind
of a cute joke. And I think you can sort of let it go and not be worried anymore.
And I think the reason the rocks were small is because it's less expensive to mail.
Elaine is cheap.
What's she going to do? Send a gigantic bag of rocks that's several pounds heavy?
She's a little thrifty, Elaine?
Yeah, yeah.
One year for my birthday, she gave me a T-shirt
that she told me was from a package of seven.
Oh my God!
So just like a plain white T-shirt.
Gray. So just like a plain white.
Gray.
Why would you even mention that?
That seems so unnecessary.
Just to hains her way.
That's why I didn't even put anything on it.
Didn't draw on it.
No, it didn't give the other six T-shirts.
No, no, she, she, I watched her take it out of the pack.
Oh, it was an even package.
No.
She said, hold on, I know it's your birthday.
You know what?
I'm sorry, she is psychotic.
God, thank you.
Thank you.
All right, okay, so, so, Maura, before we let you go.
Yes.
How confident do you now feel that it was Elaine
who sent you this bag of rocks and one chart of shale?
Well, not at all, actually.
So we've done no help.
We've done nothing to help.
I guess not. We tried though.
We really did.
I'm gonna still repeat it one more time
where I do think that's what happened.
I also just want you to move on from this
because it's now taken up a year of your life.
And I think you're safe. I'm just going to go, I'm going to,
I'm going to say, take the tape off that mailbox, take the sign off that mailbox.
Don't worry about what your neighbors are thinking of you until they actually say
something and complain, you know, which hasn't happened yet.
Well, now I'm beginning,
now I'm beginning to have some fears
that maybe somebody in this room sent them.
No, now come on, Maura.
Why would we even do that?
We just met you.
What a thing to say.
Well, I happen to know you both have library cards.
Oh, okay.
We do, but I do not have any outstanding debt.
I don't have any overdue books.
I know this.
I have tons, but so what?
I would not, I didn't come in here thinking either of you
were trying to get under my skin with this bag of rocks.
And you should leave still thinking that.
Why else?
Let me ask you this.
Why else would you be encouraging me to let my guard down?
I came on here to get-
Because it's been almost a year, Maura.
Well, I came here to get more information,
to get my story out about the rocks,
not to be told to stop.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Apparently our attempt to help
has come across as threatening.
I'm about to get psychotic here.
Maura, you came looking for more information
and we're here to tell you there is no more information.
You are obsessing over something
you don't need to obsess over.
You have to let this go.
Let Bob get his mail on time.
And just ask Elaine, did you send me a bag of rocks?
You know what?
I think that's a great first step.
Ask her point blank,
did you send me a bag of rocks 11 and a half months ago?
Okay.
I wish. I don't even think you have to say the time. I think you could just say. Ask her point blank, did you send me a bag of rocks 11 and a half months ago, okay?
I wish-
I don't even think you have to say the time.
I think you could just say,
did you ever send me a bag of rocks?
I agree, I agree.
And honestly, I wish you well,
which is what we always say to people.
Yeah, I guess.
And I really just hope that-
I'd like to mean it this time.
I hope you know that we had nothing to do with this.
Oh my gosh, she's staring right at me. I can't believe this.
I appreciate, nope, she doesn't believe it,
you having me on the show,
and I will be keeping my eyes.
She's quivering with rage.
The microphone is shaking in her hand.
I've never seen anyone more angry in my life.
And I know she's not wearing a wig because her hair,
every single strand of hair is vibrating
and it's not too shiny.
No, it's not too shiny.
Well, Maura, we do have to let you go,
but I hope you can let this go.
Well, I would like to believe
that that's what you wish for me
and I would like to say this has
been a pleasure because some of it has been pleasant. What a review. But I do need to,
I'll be taking my notebook and calling an Uber.
All right, well, I'm sorry we couldn't be of more help.
In a way you have been of help.
Okay.
Thank you.
Wow, we've been granted that.
All right.
Well, we are gonna take a break.
More When the Neighbor Listen returns.
["Pink Angel Baby Soap"]
Hi everybody, it's Jordan.
Here's a 60 free Pink Angel Baby soap for baby shower individually
wrapped handmade pink soap with angel design left over from a baby shower. Originally purchased
off Etsy. As you can see, there's like a ton behind me. But I'm only giving, like behind
my hand you can see that there's like, I be honest I have 150 of these things but this one 149 is the number
what I call it pretty sure this is a Horcrux like straight-up Harry Potter
Horcrux I think that something's living inside of it and if you zoom in on the
face like you can really almost see it so I just really need you I'm not as you
can see it's free we because someone has to take it from me.
And if someone doesn't take it from me, it's going to keep, um, it's going to keep
telling me to go stand on my shower in the middle of the night.
I don't know why that's all it asks me to do, but you know what?
I'm sick of standing in my shower, so I don't want to do that anymore.
Thanks.
Bye.
And welcome back to The Neighborhood Listen.
And what can you say about Moira?
Well, I'd say if there was a theme of C's and Stephen,
is that there's a lot of people
who we really almost could help,
but they just don't want to receive that help.
I think that she deserves every bad thing
that has come her way.
Oh, burnt, come on now.
She's-
You take this too far sometimes.
She's absurd.
This is, she made you dark.
We, she made me dark.
Oh, you don't see dark burnt.
I do.
Ah, extra burnt.
Yeah, I feel like she just,
there was no problem there.
We tried to help her.
She just refused to listen to reason.
Correct. I bet she wasn't even that good at that.
Oh, now that we don't know that. Of course. I mean, if Mitch raved, I'm, I'm, I'm always
tempted to not believe him. This guy, Mitch is like opposite day in a
turtleneck. People think it's good. He thinks it's bad. People think it's bad. He thinks
it's good. And you know, so happy to be contrary. Yes.
If something is bad, people say it's bad.
He will tell people they're too stupid to get it.
That's right.
Oh, I hate that kind of response.
Hey babe, how's the rink going?
Do you have any new squares?
Great question, Joan.
Any new squares?
What?
What's that noise?
That sounds like you're-
Are you chopping-
Yeah, chopping ice.
Are you ice fishing in the house?
No, I'm picking the ice.
I'm- Oh, did you just buy you ice fishing in the house? No, I'm picking at the ice. I'm a...
Oh, did you just buy like a gigantic block of ice?
No, see what happens is the twins,
they keep spraying me down with water
and then saying I'm gonna be the pilt down man.
Pfft.
Pfft.
Pfft.
Pfft.
They keep saying that.
Okay, now this is...
Yeah, and then so then I'm trapped in this block of ice.
I do not have that reference.
What is that?
The Piltdown man was like, he was sort of...
I think that's the thing.
Yeah.
I think that's the thing.
They think it's the thing for sure.
This was an ancient guy found in a block of ice.
Oh, is that right?
Oh, this is the caveman in the ice.
This is that thing?
I thought he was just in the ground.
I didn't know it had a magical name.
One of those ice guys.
One of those ice guys.
Are you thinking of Captain America and unfrozen caveman lawyer?
The two most famous ice guys.
Ice guys.
Let me look up Piltdown Man really quickly.
OK, I mean, it sounds familiar,
but I would never have been able to tell you what that is.
Well, they think they certainly think it's a man preserved in ice.
OK, they're spraying me with water because of the low temperature.
This isn't on you, Doug. This is on them.
This is on them. They might be wrong.
Yeah. But yeah, they keep hosing me down and then it freezes.
And then so I'm picking the ice off myself. I love this.
Oh, OK. What is the Piltdown Man was a paleoanthropological fraud
in which bone fragments were presented
as the fossilized remains
of a previously unknown early human.
Sea boys, it's a fraud.
Sea preakness.
An extensive scientific review in 2016 established
that recently established that amateur archeologist
Charles Dawson was responsible for the fraudulent evidence.
Wow.
Yeah.
Imagine being known for that.
Now they're making Molotov cocktails.
Oh, well, that's...
All right.
You know what?
Let's finish this episode and I'll come down and help you.
We just call that Tuesday around here.
At least make it a mocktail.
Molotov mocktail.
Molotov mocktail.
What would be in that?
So is it literally, it's not real fire.
They're not really going to set it on fires.
That would be it.
That would be it, right?
You just need a bottle filled with alcohol.
That would be it. That would be it. That wouldogdale. What would be in that? So is it literally, it's not real fire.
They're not really gonna set it on fire.
Is that would be it?
That would be it, right?
They just need a bottle filled with water and a rag.
I guess it's just not alcohol.
They don't, they just don't set it on fire,
but they do still throw a glass at your head.
A bottle at your head.
Filled with 7-Up?
Yeah.
Grenadine?
All right.
Molotov-Mogdale.
We have time for one more post,
and Joan, you say you have one.
I do have one.
I do have one.
If my sources are correct.
Yes, they are correct.
This comes from,
hang on.
This, oh, she's like,
you're gonna have to,
you're gonna have to.
Joan, did you lie?
No, I didn't.
This comes from Fred.
From who?
Fred. Fred.
I thought you said thread at first.
No.
It comes from Fred and here's the thing.
There's a video he posted.
It's no longer playing.
Guess what?
That doesn't matter.
It just doesn't matter.
Trust me.
Okay.
What's this bird?
The bird came to my community walking around.
It was very calm.
I offered food but was not interested.
Got so close to it to take a video.
It seems that looking for an address.
He's saying this of the bird.
Correct.
It seems like it was, how would he determine?
We made a word for word again.
It seems that looking for an address.
It seems that looking for an address.
He doesn't like articles or extra, you know,
unnecessary words throughout the whole thing.
Yeah, he was in a rush to find out about this bird.
You see why it doesn't matter.
Now I will show you, we normally don't go into the comments, but it's clearly many people
suggest it's an egret or a white heron.
So it's clearly that, which again, also people always are curious about something and it's
so obvious what it is.
I mean, I feel like everyone knows what a crane looks like.
Do you know what I mean?
Everyone knows what a rock looks like when I've done these posts where people say, what
is that?
Right.
Someone did it for a dragon dragon fly, youfly. But this is clearly a heron, but also how in the world
has he determined this bird was looking for an address?
That is intriguing to me.
And also when he says, I offered it food, but not interested.
Not interested.
So is he not interested?
I believe.
When I offered the food, I actually wasn't interested.
I was just going through the motions.
Going through the motions of when someone comes
into my community, like this bird came into my community.
I do want to see the video though.
I wish we could see the video.
I know it's not playing.
I know I'm really sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
But it doesn't play.
Oh, that's something different.
Oh my God, Joan, what are you having on your phone?
It's a necklace.
It's a necklace that someone's trying to sell.
Everybody calm down.
So I know that birds sometimes do that thing,
where they cock their head.
Was it just that the bird would be walking a few steps
and then cocking its head at a house?
Is that what made him think it was reading the numbers?
If a bird was going from house to house
looking at door numbers,
I would say yes, that bird's looking for an address.
Well, here's the thing.
The reason I went into the comments is that I thought,
well, maybe it was a crow because we do know that crows remember places and faces.
Very smart.
And so it could have been, but everyone is absolutely certain that this is a white
crane and they're not known for that kind of thing, right?
No.
They're just known for being majestic and calm. Like he said.
Yeah. And sometimes loud, I guess.
Are they? I've never heard that out of what the sound a crane makes
or the sound of a heron.
I guess I had just imagined they'd be loud.
I don't know.
A bird that big?
Oh gosh, if we had the video, we would hear it maybe.
But yes, Fred, I don't think that bird's looking
for an address.
What a weird thing to say.
Yeah, Fred, you're out of your mind.
Maybe I'm still mad at Maura,
but Fred, you're wasting everyone's time. Get off the neighbor hat. Extra burns. You got burnt. Extra burns.
I'm so burning them crispy right now. Oh, okay.
Well, listen, if you would like to hear ad free versions of our episodes and hear our bonus
content, which I think we mentioned earlier.
You can go to CBBworld.com and register on the Maximus tier and you'll get access to that wonderful
stuff as well as a bunch of other fantastic programs. Incredible programming. Oh, thanks for
putting that in. Simply incredible programming. That's what they should say. They should say
incredible. Yes. Incredible programming. I can see it white lettering. Yes.
Yes.
On like a green screen.
Maybe an Ariel font.
Brat.
Okay.
Oh, it just says, not Brat green.
Okay.
Maybe a darker shade than Brat.
Will anyone even remember Brat when this comes out?
This is just like a couple months after Brat's summary.
It would be funny if that instantly evaporated for people's minds.
It would.
And it just says interesting programming period.
Oh, I like the period. Very good.
Well, there you go. It's interesting programming.
You're welcome.
That's the end of the show.
It is.
We have one episode less than a-
Oh boy. Oh no.
Less we forget.
Less we forget.
We have one episode less than a- Oh boy, oh no. Less we forget. Less we forget.
We have one episode less than the-
I did it again.
You can't double less.
We gotta stop.
We gotta go eat.
You know what I said earlier that you guys missed?
What?
Oh no.
I said we egress the error.
You did not.
Just recently after we were talking. Did you say it after I brought up this bird
post? I said it. I think when you was it within this episode, yes, that'd be crazy. If it
wasn't, I have a feeling that Doug holds onto a lot of the great like one-liners that he
doesn't get acknowledged for.
Every time we're walking with the kids, we see those egrets and say, I live life with
no egrets.
He does.
But then there they are.
So you don't.
Well, they always say that.
Well, you know, of course it means regret.
And then they think the Piltdown man was trapped in course it means regret. I say, uh, and then they think the build down man was trapped in
ice. Oh boy. All right, everybody. Uh, we do have to go,
uh, and just, and also we have a disc, there's a discord. If you
want to talk about it with other people, if you don't want to go
in the cesspool that is Reddit,
all right. Okay.
Keep it nice. Go to actually our actually our Reddit is pretty nice as well.
It's lovely.
I've been on there.
But yeah, go to the CBB world,
we'll grant you access to that Discord as well.
Teeming.
What? Teeming?
We're trying to sign off, babe.
What's going on?
You can't just say the word teeming.
No, you can't.
Why not?
You mean like as a team or something teeming?
It's not a word that just stands on its own.
No, it doesn't stand on its own.
You must give context.
What is teaming with what?
The discord is teaming with life.
Okay, so it is that.
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
I was afraid that's what he meant, honestly.
It was.
Yes, nothing to be afraid of.
But it's just that the rest of the words
were just in his brain. David Attenborough kick lately. All right, was. Yes. Nothing to be afraid of. But it's just that the rest of the words were just in his brain.
David Attenborough kick lately.
Dammit.
All right, babe.
Okay.
Okay.
That's enough.
We'll be back for our season finale next week.
And until then, goodbye.
And bye.
All of the posts used in this episode were real.
Only some geographical specifics have been changed.
The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins.
And me, Nicole Parker. And me, Nicole Parker.
And me, Brett Morris.
This episode's guest was played by Madeline Walter.
The Neighborhood Listen is a production
of Comedy Bang Bang World.
Go to CBBWorld.com to unlock the entire history of the show,
ad-free, as well as brand new full length bonus room
episodes, exclusive to Maximus subscribers.
Your support keeps the show going.