The Neighborhood Listen - A Type Of Couples Therapy with Zac Oyama

Episode Date: December 19, 2023

Burnt has an exciting career update, Joan continues work on Hot Realtor Summer, and Doug has just won a local contest. Caleb Shallows (Zac Oyama), the subject of a recent NeighborhApp post, comes on the show to defend himself from allegations that he is part of a “creepy couple”.Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for the Maximus plan to unlock access to the entire ad-free archive as well as brand new exclusive BONUS ROOM episodes adventuring deeper into Dignity Falls!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Look out, Canadian listeners, this one's for you. Coho is a mastercard with an easy-to-use app that makes managing your finances easier. Coho lets you earn cash back, borrow, build your credit history, and so much more. Join over 1 million Canadians and sign up for your free trial today. Download Coho on Google or App Store today or koho.ca for more details. Plus, for any basketball fans out there, get a $75 e-gift card for nbastore.ca when you sign up with the promo code koho75. That's code koho75. Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website.

Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad-free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of The Bonus Room, go to cbbworld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership. And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. Knock, knock. Who's there? Your neighbor. Good. neighborhood listen knock knock who's there your neighbor good indignity falls you're never alone you've got the neighbor half app and us burnt and jode from coyotes to mail theft to weird things to

sell we'll cover it all and meet new neighbors as well we'll chat about any posts you're missing so just tune in to The Neighborhood Listen. Welcome once again to The Neighborhood Listen, the podcast that takes a look at the neighborhood of Dignity Falls and the people who live in it. There's that DJ voice I love. Right? It's fun to do. Oh, well, you were very good at it, Bernt.

Thank you very much, Joan. You're welcome. You know, I do like, I've overcome my stage fright on getting on the PA at the pharmacy. Oh, yes. And now I kind of enjoy it. Do you give it a little and, like when you're doing it in there? I start everything with and. You know, that's kind of fun.

I would like being in the pharmacy and hearing that. You know, kind of like you're being called up on a game show as opposed to something depressing like picking up your pills you know we haven't seen you in the pharmacy in such a long time i know i'm just so healthy i mean good for you no i'm i mean i'm glad it's always nice when a friend visits you at work but uh but but i do well like what was that let's let's i will tell you in a second we should introduce ourselves oh yes my name is burnt me a payday i am a pharmacist here at dignity falls yes i work at cvs for the time being oh what what i know a bit of a bird i'm on the edge of my seat here i am joan pedestrian i am the top realtor although and we will clear this up because there has been some mention of

it and then i didn't mention it. I have started my own company. That's right. Hot Realtor Summer. Hot Realtor Summer. In order to train realtors how to be in the reality realtor business. Because after selling Sunset, now this is what we got to do. You know? Let me ask, do you regret the name of that company?

I definitely do. It was one of those things you know how this sometimes they're like don't think first thing that comes to your head and guess what i did it exactly and i just i didn't i made that an llc and just didn't even so much paperwork that you have to file and when i see it every time every piece of paper i see because i also didn't do any like it's all run together like one word they didn't separate it no i'm serious it's awful that together like one word. They didn't separate it. No. I'm serious. It's awful. It's like a puzzle for people. Yes. Oh, that's terrible.

It's really bad. I'm so sorry, Joan. Well, thank you. I'm so sorry. Okay, but enough about me. What about your career change? What's happening? Okay, well, I got an offer.

I guess you could say I'm being headhunted. What? By the Dignity Falls Massey. By the Dignity Falls what? Oh, Massey. Oh, the Falls Massey. By the Dignity Falls what? Oh, Massey. Oh, the Falls Massey. The new independent pharmacy that just opened up. And they came to me and they said, we're willing to invent a position for you.

What? Pharmacist in chief. Pharmacist in chief? Yes. PIC. I would be the PIC. You know me. It is not something that exists. chief pharmacist in chief yes p.i.c yes i would be the p.i.c and they it's like it's not it is not something that exists i'd be the first definitely not i would be the first pharmacist in

chief wow yeah and i how that i mean what would you say are you did how much time did they give you they said we'll give you a week to think it over. Wow. But we really want you. And I think I might do it. I mean, by the time people hear this, I will have made my decision, but I'm leaning towards doing it. Listen, they are going all out with this Falsmacy, okay? This has been a dream project of someone on the board. Yeah.

And this is- Which board again? The Dignity Falls. Yes. You know, the board of pharmacies. The board of elders at the pharmacy. The pharmacy board. That's right.

You know, Dignity Falls has the most pharmacy chain outlets of any town in America. It does. It also has the most boards. It's true. We have a board for everything. Drinking fountain board. It's. It also has the most boards. It's true. We have a board for everything. Drinking fountain board. It's like we're a drinking fountain board.

There's only, what, two drinking fountains left in America? And we have a drinking fountain board? Well, remember, we still have telephone booths. So we're just different than everybody. Do you know what bugs me about that? Is that they took the telephones out. Yes. Oh, is it just so creepy just to see a telephone panel,

but no actual phone? What are you supposed to do? It feels like a trap. It's awful. Oh, I go in there and the floor drops out and then I'm going down a chute. Yes. Okay.

So yes, so we have so many boards, but we also have, like Burton said, so many different pharmacy. Yes. And so what happened is they really wanted to sort of jazz up the pharmacy uh culture you know so this this pharmacy is going to have they did want to jazz up the pharmacy culture and that was the directive of the board said, we need to jazz up the pharmacy culture.

So they're good. So this place is going to be three stories. It's unbelievable. It's going to have a waterfall in the middle because we've never, we don't, if you've listened to this podcast, we were named dignity falls, but we really don't have a fall.

No, it's just a runoff. Yeah. It's disappointing when people come here. So this would officially give us the falls you know um they've discussed i mean cliff divers come in in the middle of the day they've discussed live music yeah just so people know this would not be a water feature like you'd see in a regular building right they're making this a waterfall like an honest to god it's gonna be loud there's gonna be spray

like niagara falls absolutely i mean not big obviously but it will be oh yeah you can't go don't go up there it's just to be looked at so that's why it's of course falls messy yes and so this is gonna be i mean this is, again, they're, they're thinking of bringing in celebrities to open this place. So this is actually like, you're kind of a rock star. Mikey Day. We're going to bring in Mikey Day.

And Flo. Yes. Progressive Flo. And so, I mean, this is a very big deal. Absolutely. So you're really kind of a rock star, Bernd.

Well, I could be. I think this is amazing. Yeah, I really think I'm probably going to do it. I mean, the only thing that gives me pause is, of course, the gang. Oh, the gang. I would miss those guys so much. Your colleagues at work. Yeah.

And you haven't told them. Do you think there'd be some bitterness, some jealousy, maybe? There might be. In a perfect world, a lot of them would come join me. But I don't want to... Are you allowed to have a team? Are you allowed to pick a team? I suppose I would be, right? Yes. Thank you, Doug.

Of course, that's our engineer, Doug. That is our engineer, Doug, my husband. And Doug, where are you today? Where are you recording us from? I'm in the forge. You're in the what? The forge. The forge. The forge. And what are you making there?

A butter knife? Yes. I call it the Incredisword. The what? The Incredisword. The Incredisword. But it's a butter knife. Because I bought the big butter block at

butter stuffs it is you are the one i cannot get through this thing again dignity wait a second you mean you can't get through not not that it's too much butter but then it's too dense to get through the regular butter you would not listen it you think it looks big when it's in the store. When you get this thing home, it is unreal. And again, there was much discussion. The second that they announced it. First of all, just again. Oh my God, that announcement from the Butterboard. We have so many.

Butterboard, of course. Oh, they put on their robes. God. They slick the floor. Those guys. Because they know how to walk on a butter slick floor perfectly. Yes. It's the initiation to get to be on the floor. Those guys. Because they know how to walk on a butter slick floor perfectly. Yes. It's the initiation

to get to be on the floor. Well, their robes go over their feet so it looks like they're floating. Yeah. Yes. The butter board is a bunch of wackos

if I can be honest. Oh, they're insane. They're insane. Absolutely. So we have a lot of stores here, you know, pots and pans and, you know, Butter stuff.

Flowers. But this one is called butter stuff this one is exclusively devoted to butter and butter goods and so but they're also made out of butter so you get a butter dish but it is also butter and they do this every year where they they you know they you can you can compete to win this gigantic oversized stick of butter yeah and every year doug tries yeah and every year i beg him not to because i know one of these days he's gonna win well he won the damn thing this year and doug what did the competition consist of babe he asked you a question yeah i know you have

to they spread it's like a um a uh slip and slide but it's all butter. Right. And you have to sprint across that thing and not fall down. Right. He's been training. This summer, he's been training. But it goes downhill.

There's even jumps. There's a little, I got some air. I remember when, I remember seeing Doug coat your driveway with lard. Yeah.

And he was practicing and he looked like that video of the lizard running on the water. That was him. It was impressive. He got so many butterburns on the side of his torso. That stings.

It was just, so anyways, we've got this damn thing. Salted butter too. And it's in the house. I should have used that. It's salted butter, yes. And now he can't cut through it.

Hold on, I'm sorry. I'm just realizing. So if it were unsalted, that would cut down on the burns. Well, the salt in your wounds, have you heard that? Yeah, I think he's familiar with that. I just heard that after this incident. I see. You had never heard of the phrase rubbing salt in the wound.

Wow. Not once. Well, I had never, you had never heard of the phrase rubbing salt in the wound. Wow. Not once. Well, I never had salt rubbed in my wounds. You've actually, yeah. Who would do that? You've actually encountered that phrase before,

believe it or not, because it is in Latin as the, uh, motto of the saltboard. Yes. And what is that again? Like salt in your wounds. Oh,

what is it in Latin? Sal. Oh. so so you got it that just seems too short but you know sometimes languages are funny is it an acronym yeah yeah it is sure it's a latin acronym a latin a latin it's simply, that's what it actually is. Right. What happened? Saltus.

Simply. Sempre. Only. Oh, sempre. Sempre. Sempre. Semper.

Actually, I should say that's the correct. Yeah, that's correct. Which I believe means, uh, always loyal to oil. Always loyal to oil.

Yeah. Oh, they're such weirdos. They're weirdos. So now we have this damn thing in our house and he couldn't cut it. And he has been wanting to build, he wants to be a smithy. You know, he's always wanted to have a blacksmith's, what did they call it? A forgery is that what i can't afford it is just called a forge that's right i'm tempering the butter knife

and i don't he he decided it still had to be a butter knife but i told him he has to make it bigger but he's it's a regular butter size but sorry butter knife size butter knife it's a normal butter size not this butter size right so you know how you know, like in the morning, it's like you that whole thing when you get when you get a piece of toast and then you realize, oh, someone didn't, Doug, put out new butter overnight tonight to take some out from the refrigerator. Yes. And I mean, it's like that butter is rock hard. I'm going to scrape up the bread. You tear it apart. Makes me mad.

Is there anything worse? Especially because I love that toast burnt black as night. Your childhood snack was, I believe, toast burnt to a charred black crisp. Yes. And then scraped with, what was

it again? I believe also whiskey was served with it. I don't recall that part, but you're probably right. Okay. I haven't gone back and re-listened in a while. Fair enough. To your childhood. Yes, I loved my childhood. But I do love just that carbon tasting black toast.

Black is night, you said. Black is night. And twice as deadly. Well, we were talking about this butter knife that he's forging in his forge. Right. Now, why? What makes the butter so difficult to get through, Doug? Well, it's first of all, they did keep it refrigerated. So it did arrive.

It arrived rock hard. That's what we're talking. The new. OK, can I say just a brief mention? There's somebody I know and a friend of mine. He's married to this woman who now my friend grew up in a household where you put butter in a butter dish and you left it out. This is your friend?

Yes. Okay. His wife, though, grew up in one of those households where you don't leave the butter out because they're terribly afraid of what could happen. Even though I don't know that there's a lot of butter deaths or sicknesses that are reported each year. Or thefts.

There's no butter theft. So the compromise. The butter board made sure that that didn't happen in Texas. You know what? Sometimes they're right. So the compromise was to get one of these butter bells, which you fill with water. Oh, God. I've seen these.

You put the butter in, then you turn it upside down. No. That is so much work. It's so much work. And I don't know how you get around the idea. so much work and i don't know how you get around the idea you say that it's disgusting to leave the butter out in a butter dish but somehow adding water to the equation is less disgusting adding standing water makes it healthier standing water yes yeah no and then sometimes you you pick it up and then bloop it all falls into the water oh dear god oh okay so yeah no that doesn't work

but see there's simply not a butter dish long enough for this this was delivered on a but there's a refrigerator big enough for it it was delivered on a um gigantic piece of plywood right and so a palette and um and and so now it's just in the it's in the um uh the rice room of all places, if you can imagine, which is causing a huge mess. That was what we called our dryer because Doug wanted to just be able to get out of the shower and like an iPhone, jump into the rice and dry naturally.

I forgot about that. Yes. All the moisture would be wicked off of him. It dries you so fast. It doesn't just cause a bunch of rice to stick to your body. You asked the same question last time. What answer did I get? No, which is just not logical.

It's not sticky rice. It's the most sensible question. Oh, that's right. One time he did use sticky rice. That's right. So I don't understand, Bae, why you wouldn't, first of all, get like a saw. Like this thing means like a saw. Ooh, butter saw.

Like an ax. Right. We need to take an ax to this butter. Right. So, babe, why wouldn't you just get something bigger? Why are you trying to make a butter knife? Well, I think the market calls for something like this. Like there's an opening in the market.

There's an opening in the market for a small butter knife that cuts a gigantic butter for a much larger butter knife, but it's still a butter knife. It's not a saw like the saw is unsightly. So it is butter knife sized, but larger than a butter knife. Well, it's multiple butter knives that I'm,

I'm tempering together. No, no, you're, are you, are you smelting several butter knives together? Good Lord. I mean, it's like having a sharp together. No, no, no. Are you smelting several butter knives together? Good Lord. I mean, it's like having a third son.

Oh, and sharpening. Okay. So they're not butter knives anymore. They're just knives. You're sticking a bunch of sharp knives together. You know, all you would need to do, I will say, did you ever try this? The best part of the butter knife is that handle.

Does your friend ever try this? You just have to get the knife warm under some hot water or just put it over a flame and that cuts through the butter. That can do that. Not this butter. Put it over a flame? Yeah, like a little bit of a gas stove. Put what? The knife? Yes, because you're looking at me like I'm

an idiot, Bert, but I'm telling you I'm trying to help your friend. I understand, Joan. I understand. I don't think you're an idiot at all. But I guess I'm getting angry on my friend's I understand. Joan, I understand. And I'm not, I don't think you're an idiot at all. Okay, all right. But I guess I'm getting angry on my friend's behalf. Oh, okay. Again, having to go through a bunch of steps

when the easiest thing would be just to put the book out. So interesting, you're getting so angry. But I appreciate your loyalty. I know, he's a good friend. Yeah. And when I think about it, it makes my blood boil. Anyways, tell them to try that trick. You know, when it's hard to just sort of, you know when it's when it's when it's hard

to just sort of um you know but i suppose he's not going to get away from the bell thing because it sounds like he's really locked into that i'm sorry for him yeah the bell unfortunately is that's the way it is so so anyways uh this is interesting that you know we'd be talking about all the different boards and the butter boards and the pharmacy on the pharmacy board and um and how i don't know i mean i i just think that maybe next time babe you should i think this is gonna be the last time you do this contest i don't think that you should enter into it anymore absolutely because i don't even know what we're gonna because i mean we haven't talked about where yeah you want i mean you're like alexander weeping

because you had no worlds left to conquer i mean i i think it calls for a congratulations first of all I said congrats to you babe when you won it's just I don't even know what we're going to do with all that butter I just don't you know we also of course the butter board hosts the butter carving you know that happens every summer as well

where you have to carve things with butter other places actually carve things into butter we have to use butter to carve they freeze that butter and it's the shape of a knife they're very proud of themselves because they say it's a butter knife and it's a knife made of butter but they do have it frozen

to the point where that edge could cut just about anything maybe that's what you need maybe you need a frozen butter knife to cut the actual butter. Maybe. That sounds good. I was also going to say that sounds like one of those riddles. Yes. The knife is made of butter and it's all melted. Exactly.

That is a pretty good one. There's just a puddle of butter. Yes. The police arrive, there's just a puddle of butter. Joan, hold on a second. Not to take away from butter talk talk but oh i know what you're gonna ask you you shot a pilot for your reality realty show that's not what i thought you were gonna ask what did you say yes well i promised you that in between our last uh episode and this one i was gonna go have go have my pre-op.

You said you were going to- We're getting a totally new face. You were going to get a TFC, a total face change. I'm going to get a TFC because, again, all these reality shows showing realtors who look like Barbie dolls, and I'm talking about the men, that I just can't look like this anymore. The world of realty reality is asking me to have a totally new face well now so i see your face is the same well it is the same because well the surgery can't be you have to get on the waiting list it's like four months away is it

there's that many people want to get a total face change wouldn't believe it and it's just all white women in their 40s sure and you yeah we all know i'm 39 um so i did go to that but yes it was a very busy week not only did i do that but i had to shoot this pilot and i was it is a little weird that i would shoot the pilot without my totally new face yet. So what my face is going to be is blurred. So my confessionals are just.

They're going to look like you're in witness protection. You know what you should do is a green screen. How? My face? Yeah. So like put like the green material

on my face and then just project. Right. And then they can put whatever they want or whatever you want. I don't think you need the green material on my face and then just project right and then they can put whatever they want or whatever you want i don't think you need the green screen where i think what you just have to put dots on your face and then you can put whatever you want on there that's from my understanding that's how it works it's just dots just those white dots just dots just dots that's all it is it's just dots yeah well um so so we what we did is we tried to shoot a little pilot because i thought okay with my new company that I started, I've gathered to get great. I've gathered all one word, lowercase. Ladies love company.

It's true. We do. Um, and so I gathered together some real up and comers, some real like go getters, you know, this group of five that are really hungry, you know, and are very interested in being very famous and very, very real and very. Desire for fame first, realty second. Yeah, that's how that's how it goes now. It's going to be. It's how it's got to be. And so we just tried, you know, doing a couple. We just got a little camera crew. We did a couple confessionals.

We did, they've all slept together already. Oh, nice. Yep. So we've already got a bunch of love triangles going on. And so we did some open houses. We did some, we did like a mixer where they like had a, we know we took them to the casino out. Oh, really?

Oh. Well, we got a good deal on it um right so we just had like a night of you know i just because you have to do that kind of thing where it's like you take them to some place you ply them with a lot of alcohol and then they just get sloppy you know so you're all there at fillmore east and and everyone is just drinking like crazy yes yes and uh at the blackjack table and then one of the gals got really upset because she thought that the guy she'd already hooked up with was flirting with this um blackjack dealer right and i mean to be honest it was it was great because it was a huge mess they got into a fight you know they knocked this is what you want exactly you want yes um and so i'm i'll be editing uh in the next week um but uh yeah it is it's I'm going to be

blurring out my face and also I'm working on the theme song uh for it this week oh terrific well for I want I would love to hear the theme song if you wouldn't if you wouldn't mind but what is the title of the show what are you calling it oh I thought that I already told you oh it was uh I thought I swear that because it's really tricky maybe you're so tricky i forgot it's reality but you have to know how to say it right so it just looks like the word reality yes but you have to hear it it's basically realty with the I in it. Right. So rather than pronouncing it real tea or real a tea, you pronounce it real a tea.

It'll be really clear when the song is on the overlay of the main title. Now let's hear the song. Understanding, of course, this is just a first. You're still working on it. It's not finished. Please, this is just a first you're still working on it yeah it's not finished please this is not finished it's not like i'm gonna sing it and doug's gonna record it without letting me know you wouldn't do that to anyone no doug i don't think you'd do that to me this is just a workshop you know

okay okay come into our house it's kind of like a three's company wait are you asking is it's kind of like a three's company that's part of the song yeah i didn't take it that way so fast into the rendition okay come into our house we're an open door we're gonna show you realty and reality and so much more if you're not as cool as us it's a pity so come and watch reality so the way it's supposed to be pronounced is reality Come and watch reality. So the way it's supposed to be pronounced is reality. Like I said, haven't figured out how to sing it to make it clear. Right, right.

That does seem tricky. Reality. Probably something like that. Right. Just change the whole name. I think it's terrific. Doug, were you rolling on that? Because I think that's not bad. No, no, no.

That wasn't. I haven't even warmed up. You just cut out the part where we had the conversation with Doug about the Three's Company thing. About the Three's Company thing, yeah. Well, that's, I can't wait to see this. I think it's terrific. And I do hope, there's still time, but I hope you won't do the total face change surgery. We'll see.

We'll see. Right now, I'm not seeing anything. The society's not showing me anything that's telling me to, nope, you're're fine stay the same not getting any messages like that but from whom just any and anyone well i i certainly myself and doug are telling you sure sure and i do appreciate that and listen uh this is really mostly i just talk about this to also just i i don't want anyone to follow in my footsteps i'm not trying to be a trailblazer hold on a second let me ask you something is there anyone in town that is encouraging you to do the total face change no it's just that uh it's just that candace rickenbacker did it okay all right as everyone knows well if they if they're in town they know that she is of

course the other she she and i she knows that she's not the top realtor but she still keeps it on her posters because she won it one time in 2012 and she has in little tiny numbers yes 2012 yes yes yeah it says top real that was the year gigantic and the only yeah you have to get a magnifying glass and the only reason she wanted that year is because you had a little, you had like a bout of cholera. I did. I did.

It was, I went to, you know what, Edinburgh? I went to the Fringe Festival because I tried doing a one-woman show there about Sarah Bernhardt. Do you know her? The actress from long ago? Yeah, the French actress. Yes. one woman show there about Sarah Bernhardt. Do you know her? The actress from long ago? Yeah, the French actress.

Yes. Oh, was she French? I didn't realize. Yes, Sarah Bernhardt. I did it all in French. Very alienating for many people, including myself because I didn't know

what she was. I had someone translate it for me and I didn't, I just didn't, I didn't want to stay in the mode of French. So I didn't really know what't I didn't want to stay in the mode of French so I didn't really know what I was saying I just went by the way it sounded

Wait was the show itself in French? It was all in French. Wow but you had no idea what you were saying Huh that's bold I just thought it's the fringe you know what I mean that's what you do that's the kind of bold shit you do at the fringe right? Right right Didn't go well and I went on one of those tours where you go on the catacom didn't go well and i went on one of those um tours where you go

on the catacombs you can go underneath the city spooky where you know everybody was just buried after the plague yeah and i came back with cholera oh no that sure wasn't on the tour guy they should put them behind glass they should they should the tour guy kept quoting faulty towers a whole lot a whole lot yep several times what what about the catacombs lent itself to quoting it didn't matter they weren't connected oh i see he would just bust bust into it was a fun he was having some fun i sure wasn't after i came back and yes that's why candace won that that year um so anyways yes we will we'll table that discussion uh i look very forward to uh next week because you will have made your decision by then that's right uh but we should probably take a break because we have a guest yes uh so i guess while um doug tries to

cut that butter uh we'll just we'll be right back. Hey, cut that butter, Doug. Hey everybody, Dan here. Handyman looking for work. I posted a picture with an arrow towards it saying, Gate I built. It says $1 underneath. I'll explain it later. Please read entire post.

Hello, my name is Dan the Handyman. I'm a semi-retired man just trying to make it through each day, one day at a time. I've been in construction most of my life, but I'm simply trying to use the gifts that God has given me and the skills that I have learned through my life. I specialize in drywall repair and installation, popcorn acoustic ceiling removal, knockdown texturing, stucco repair, painting, TV, wall mounting, shelf installation,

gate building and repair, furniture refinishing, minor electrical such as light installation, wall switch replacement and electrical receptacle replacement, minor plumbing such as faucet replacement and repair, replacement of wax ring on toilet, tile and flooring, and much more. There's no job too small. My rates are fair, and I come with references from people that I have done work for in the past. If the job is too big for me, it requires a contractor. Well, I have painters, I have tile and flooring installers, I have electricians and carpenters, and more words

that mean people that do things that I cannot do. That means I have to get the job done with people who work for me. My hourly rate is $40 per hour, parentheses two, hour minimum for smaller jobs, for bigger jobs, or an accumulation of small jobs. I charge by the job. My hourly rate is $40 per hour, parentheses two, hour minimum for smaller jobs, for bigger jobs, or an accumulation of small jobs. I charge by the job. My rates are fair, considering the high cost of living and the quality of our work

is our goal. Look forward to serving you and may God bless you. Dan the Handman, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. I have no reason why it says $1 at the top. And welcome back

to the Neighborhood Listen. Ooh, what I did is I pictured you saying, and welcome to dignity, what's it going to be called? Dignity Pharmacy. Sorry. And that is one of the, they said, you know, you would get to welcome people to the pharmacy.

That's so exciting. Like a sort of John Hammond in Jurassic Park. All right. We have a guest here. Now, as we do every week, we scour the NeighborHap, the social networking application for neighborhoods, and we try to meet the people that make Dignity Falls such an interesting place to live.

That was getting away from me. You have to do some tongue twisters before you get to the fall, Missy. That was so true. I will have to do some vocal warmups. Yeah. But we, so we,

we look at the neighbor hat for interesting posts and then we contact those people. And sometimes it's the people who posted and sometimes the people who are the subject of the post. And I'll tell you which one it is in one moment. Let's read the post. And let me say this. If you have a post that perhaps we've missed,

you can screenshot it and send it to us at burntandjone at gmail.com and we'll read it on the podcast okay this is in the crime and safety section of the neighbor app and it was posted by someone named tracy with an eye tracy says creepy okay for the sake of my sanity was anyone else driving at taft street and dogwood tonight around 10 there were two people standing on taft right where dogwood goes into it they were dressed very old long white gown for the girl and a tan and white vest and pants for the guy tan and white they were standing facing each other, holding hands. A few cars put their hazards on and slowed down. Others sped up, like me.

Anything? Anyone? Well, Joan, we do not have Tracy here today, but we do have one half of that alleged creepy couple. Oh, my goodness. And I hope I'm not even insulting them by saying this. But please welcome our guest. And how should we introduce you? My name is Caleb Shallows. And I hope I'm not even insulting them by saying this. But please welcome our guest.

And how should we introduce you? My name is Caleb Shallows. Caleb Shallows, welcome to the neighborhood. One half of that couple. I will take issue with the idea of being creepy. Yes. Okay. I just came here to sort of defend myself.

Okay. Yeah. I can understand why someone driving pie would be a little confused by that now tracy does not specify am or pm uh pm 10 p.m and i and i just say just from just first looks you know you do he does have the appearance of someone very young and at the same time very old are you getting that burnt yeah i am well i'm 24 years old wow i'm big fan of old. Are you getting that burnt? Yeah, I am. I'm 24 years old. Wow! I'm a big fan of old stuff. Yes, you have very white hair. Yes, white. It's dyed. Okay. Not

natural, I wish. Okay. And your beard is tan. Beard's tan. You said you wish that your hair was naturally white. Talk about that. Why is that? Well, I think that there we had sort of this haunted house core aesthetic as a couple. Oh, okay. And I want to say, get think that there, we had sort of this haunted house core aesthetic as a couple. And I want to say, get ahead of it, couple in past tense.

Oh, and who is this person we're referring to as the other half of the couple? This was Debbie Depths. Debbie Depths? Depths. Like the depths of the sea? Yes. Oh, wow. What a couple.

We were high school sweethearts came up shallows and debby depths oh shallows and depths it's tragic really it really is it is star cross lovers so when did this happen you tell us your story

so we've been together we were high school sweethearts I'm 24 now so you do the math You tell us your story. Tell us. So we've been together. We're high school sweethearts. I'm 24 now, so you do the math. I can see why you wouldn't want to. A long time for me. Sure. Well. Sure.

And we were engaging in a type of couples therapy. Oh, outside at night on the street. Well, you know, that's interesting because to me it sounded like a marriage ceremony. Yes, it definitely sounded ceremonial for sure. It seemed like some kind of ceremony. We were recommitting to each other. We were told to do it in a public place.

You were told to do it that way. By like a couples therapist? Yes. So nothing bad happens. It's sort of like a spy kind of rule, sort of changing. Oh, sure. You know, want people around, not because anyone's realizing how this sounds. Yeah. I mean, I don't quite know what you're getting at. Like someone, so no one gets hurt or you mean people are bearing witness? Bearing witness.

Got it. Got it. And what was the most public street we could think of? Taft and Dogwood. Yeah. Obviously. It's a very busy intersection. It is the most public street we could think of? Taft and Dogwood. Yeah. Obviously. It's a very busy intersection. It is the most public street. A lot of traffic, a lot of people getting home from work to try to cut through there.

And we wanted them to see us. Okay. I get it. And so we were there. We were recommitting ourselves to each other. We were trying to- And what does that involve? What do you say to each other?

We were saying, I've known you half my life. all what do you said what would you say we were saying i've known you half my life and i i feel that in some ways we've we've come untethered from each other and i would like to retether to you i would like to if the titanic were around today i would happily board it knowing the fate oh wow all experienced on the boat. That's an intense thing to say. Is it? Well, I mean, it is. If you know what happened to the Titanic.

You will knowingly die in one of the most famous deaths of all time. But isn't it sort of romantic in that old-timey kind of way? I guess. I can see that. Because a lot of our conception of death on board the Titanic is from the movies. Yeah.

But in real life, it must have been appreciating horrible death. Yeah. Interesting. To freeze to death and drown at the same time. Oh, terrible. Which one's worse, you know? He's like, sign me up. I think they're both kind of beautiful in a way.

Well, I mean, listen, you're adorable and I'm sure she's adorable. So what did she say to you? And then how did it go south? Well, she looked at me straight in the eyes and she said, I understand where you're coming from. Oh, this is during the recommitment ceremony? Yeah. Did she know that's what the ceremony was going to be? Well, I sprung it on her a little bit.

A surprise recommitment ceremony a surprise recommitment it's sort of if you felt it in my mind if I felt it it felt like it was the time I didn't want to wait any longer I was getting sort of some criticisms

about not really being present in our love and I realized- From her? From her. Okay. Just checking. What is a couples therapist?

I didn't know if you were- Couples therapist too. Okay. I thought you meant like just people on the street. The couples therapist told me if I cared, then I should just show it. And I felt that deep of my bones at that moment. And as we were on a walk home from work,

I stopped her right there and I said, look, I love you. And I'm going to love you like we're two old ghosts living in sort of a house that overlooks the sea. And I said, hold my

hand. And she said, well, there's kind of a lot of cars. Fair. And I said, well, they can wait. And then she said, well, they're kind of stacking lot of cars fair and i said well they can wait and then she said well they're kind of stacking up a little bit and they're honking okay she was getting a little concerned yeah and i said i don't hear any honks and then she said well take off the headphones and then and then i said okay that's fair and then we just stared at each other and she wanted to go after a little bit right It sounds like the honking and the cars are putting her off.

Not sure she would enjoy the Titanic death. I mean, if you can't If you can't hang with Dogwood If you can't hang with the Titanic And slowing down? You don't deserve me at the Titanic. Are you saying the Titanic was honking? Nope, not at all.

Did you just want to back in? Sometimes he does that. It's not like you're trying to do some ketchup good one joe thank you yeah now i i have uh i i have uh caleb i have some questions yeah uh did you both work at the same place say you were walking home from work yeah yeah we work at the museum on Johnson for anything older than 1990. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. That is a very interesting museum.

There's so much there from 1989. Yes. It's mostly stuff from 1989. 89, big jump to 1914. A lot of Titanic stuff. Not a lot in between. Wait.

Okay, I'm sorry. Now I'm getting confused. Tell me. They have a lifesaver from the Titanic and then a bunch of shit from 1989. Lifesaver from the Titanic, lightsaber from the Star Wars. What is the time period of this museum again?

I haven't been. Anything before 1990. Anything before 1990. It's the larger umbrella of stuff under there. Yes, and they have a lot of umbrellas in there, I heard. A lot of umbrellas. From before 1990. It's the larger umbrella of stuff under there. Yes. And they have a lot of umbrellas in there, I heard. A lot of umbrellas. From the, from the dynamic period.

They all floated, you know. Yes. They all float back then. So, okay. So then you, you obviously have sort of a, okay, you have a love of all things old. Yeah. You, you have a love of sort of almost like the dark were you sort of a lover of um oh what is it Wuthering Heights Bronte you know these kind

of sort of bush these kind of uh yes these these longing dark uh uh tragic love stories diary I should say that yeah not really yeah I will say I've only, you know, I'm a bit of a young guy in the context of history. And maybe some stuff. I think I am too. I think we all are. In the context of history. If you put it that way. I feel like I'm a young guy.

I think we all win. Absolutely. I found out about a lot of this old stuff via TikTok. And, you know, there are people my age who are really finding, you know, high-waisted pants and suspenders. Yes, yes, yes. All sorts of things that I didn't really know anything about.

Oh, I love that. I remember when I was younger and we found out, you know, about swing dancing and we went and raided the thrift stores and put finger curls in our hair. Yes, so we went out and did the sweet dancing. Brian Setzer. Brian Setzer.

The Brian Setzer Orchestra. That's right. Jerry Poppin' Daddies. I guess they were more ska. How was that allowed? How was that allowed? That's just their name, isn't it? Just the name itself.

Unbelievable. Remember as a child hearing that or not. I don't know. Just saying it a lot probably in front of my parents. That's right. Jerry Poppin' Daddies. Jerry Poppin' Daddies. It's really horrible. It really is. I don't know. Just saying it a lot probably for my parents. That's right. Cherry Poppin' Daddy.

It's really horrible. It really is. It's absolutely disgusting. Oh, I'm sorry I said it. So, okay, so now you're discovering all that old-timey stuff. Listen, I get it. I was so into it. Do you get that feeling that you're an old soul or that maybe you were, I don't know, alive in a previous time?

Where do you think this comes from? Oh, you do? Well, I mean, a lot of it comes from working at the museum together. Of course. Do I have an understanding or context for the history? Not at all. Not really so much at all. So much is the aesthetic of it and just sort of appreciating the ways in which it looks. Like at the museum, everybody wears Zubas.

Zubas, yeah. So now here's another question. Now now couples therapy usually happens together but she says this was sprung on her that you were told from the couple service did the couple service contact you thank you yeah did did did did he or she contact you separately and say here this is what you got to do so sean who's the manager at the at the uh museum is is getting his license in couples therapy. I see. Okay. So he's doing a little amateur practice.

Sort of. He was looking for hours and I was like, I got an idea. You do have to do that. Yeah. And so that's kind of how it started. And he's sort of my buddy, not so much her buddy. Okay. And I'm wondering if that was a factor of it all.

Could be. That is not really an above board type couples therapy situation. Yeah, you're not really supposed to be friends with your therapist. There should not be any kind of previous relationship. She was like, you guys are ganging up on me. A little bit of that. Do you feel like you were? A little bit. Yeah. Okay.

She wins every conversation we have. I kind of brought Sean in to be like, hey, I'm losing a lot of these. Sometimes that doesn't change. Right, babe? That's right. Are you eating the butter? Are you just taking bites?

I was going to say. Oh, my God. I was going to say I can hear butter. You know, one time in college, you could hear it, couldn't you? Yeah. You really could hear the butter in his throat. We do have sort of the churn thing at the museum. Oh, of course you do. The churn. Right. Yeah. Maybe that would do have sort of the the churn thing at the museum oh i know this is the churn right yeah maybe that would help the churn you can ride the churn

yeah it's like a mechanical bullet tries to throw you off yeah yeah be careful you gotta be careful you gotta sign a waiver for that you do yeah uh yeah i think that doug is remember in college you know he would do anything for money like i'll give you 20 if you do this and someone bet him 20 to eat a whole pat of butter and i mean he barely got into it do you know how impossible that is i mean it is one pat of butter oh it's insane you put it in your mouth and it just immediately you can't even do a pat pat pat do you ever call it a pat of butter a pat of butter yes oh okay it reminds me there was a commercial for butter just butter in general remember when there would be

commercials for things just in general like milk and there was a prunes there was a commercial for butter where uh the woman was saying give them all a little pat of butter oh i don't remember that one yeah i remember the parquet one you know with the all a little pat of butter. Oh, I do remember that one. Yeah. I remember the parquet one, you know, with the little, the little lid of the butter, we go parquet, butter.

Man, that annoying, insufferable commercial for, it was called Country Croc, I think. Yeah. And it was just a man and a woman. The hands. Their hands going, oh, well, unbelievable. I hated those.

I hated them. They're just literally, just soft core butter porn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hated them. But what I literally soft core butter porn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hated them. But what I can't believe is I told you a story about Doug getting paid $20

to eat a pat of butter, but you focused on the pat, the word pat, not him eating the butter. I'll be honest. I've never heard pat. You've never heard pat? You haven't.

I've only heard stick. Oh, stick of butter. Of course, of course. Pat of butter is the little thing you get like at a diner or whatever. That's true. Then you know what? You know what, Caleb?

Then I told the story incorrectly. You are right because he was actually dared to eat a stick of butter. An entire stick of butter. Yes. I think I can do it, Pat. You can understand my incredulity now. I apologize. I'm the one who made the mistake.

I thought, is this like one of those gallon of milk or cinnamon challenge things where it seems so easy to do and then you do it and you end up in the hospital? To be honest, though, even just a bite, if you really, if you had just tried like putting a pat of butter in your mouth, you still wouldn't make it. Well, I don't want to do that for sure. Anyways, why would you, you know how bad that was for you, babe. Why would you try the butter? Were you just curious?

I was curious. I mean, it's just, it's such prized butter. I had to try it. Such prized butter. I also have to test whether it's still frozen inside. Is it? Oh, yeah. Okay.

How far in did you get? About an inch and a half. Oh, boy. I got to add that there's feet. You're sort of dig-dugging your way into this butter with your face. Kind of like a mole clawing through dirt. That's right. Did you have a question, Caleb?

Caleb has a question for you, Doug. Is there like a little forge, like a little one somewhere? Yeah, that's me. Very perceptive. Very small. Oh, there it is. He dropped his butter sword. The Incredisword. He dropped it twice. It perceptive. Very small. Oh, there it is. That's where he is. He dropped his butter sword. The Incredisword.

He dropped it twice. It sounds little. I do picture like a foil, you know, like a Robin Hood stuff, but still the size of a butter knife. It is funny that I am picturing. Yes, an epic. There we go. Oh, he's hammering away.

Okay. It's sounding larger. So anyway, sorry, Caleb, I did not mean to direct the attention away from you. What I want to know is, did we answer this question or not?

Did she break up with you in the moment on Dogwood or how did this end? How did this ritual

end? I said, she was sorry. She started right at the corner of Dogwood and

Taft. There was just an intersection more on the south side, but it

was, you know, she was like, I don't think this is, you know,

after I laid my heart out there, I laid it all on the line. And she just said, I don't know if this is working. And I said, give it an hour of staring. Give it an hour of staring. Even though she really wanted to go. Yeah. Well, I said, just one last thing for the, you know, all the years of this relationship we've had.

Give me one hour of just staring into each other's eyes and tell me you don't want to be with me uh after that hour and then she got out her iphone which i didn't even know she had because we're not into that kind of stuff oh you're not it's pre it's pre 1990 yeah got it got it she said set a time for for an hour wow it's a long time. And we just sat there and stared at each other. And she did give you that? She gave me that. Wow. And I thought we were making progress.

There are all these ebbs and flows to it. It was almost like a type of meditation, I imagine. And then right when that alarm rung, she said, I'm going by. And that was it. Just that quickly? Just that quickly. She was done. And then she used her iPhone and called a Lyft.

So it was like a breakup stare. Yeah. Yeah. I tell you, you know, I'm not as young as I used to be. I can say that when I was younger, the idea of giving some sort of ultimatum like that was like, just let me do this one thing and then decide. Yeah. Never works out. Yeah, it's already over.

Absolutely never works out. Caleb, when's already over. Absolutely never works out. Caleb, when would you say the problem started? How long have you worked together? You know, you obviously have been together for a long time. I'm imagining there were many years of happiness. And is this a recent sort of development? Yeah, well, we've been together since we were 14 working at this museum and now we're 24. Oh, wow.

So check this. Do the math. I think the last nine have're 24. Oh, wow. I think the last nine have been tough. Oh, no. Okay, so I was wrong. The last nine? I was going to give you several years of happiness. I mean, we had a great

year of 14 to 15. But so you were still in a relationship. Did you move in together at a certain point? Well, once we graduated museum college and then we went. Yeah. We have, Dini Falls has, we're the only ones that have museum college. It's literally just a college entirely devoted to working in a museum.

Working in a museum. Every type of museum. Yeah. It doesn't exist anywhere else. And you don't really learn much about the stuff in the museum. Anywhere else in the world. You can just walk in and work in a museum. Nobody cares.

No, I know. Other universities have that major, but this college only has. Oh, that's all it is. You can't study anything else. Yes. Terrible football team. Yeah. We got sloppy.

The impressionists. Every year. The Dignity Falls impressionists is what they're called. I'm out there in a little leather helmet. It's bad. The Dignity Falls Impressionists is what they're called. I'm out there in a little leather helmet. Okay, crush. It's bad. The ball they use is a skull. Yeah.

When the other team gets the ball, they get a regular ball. Yeah, they do. So when your team's obsession is a ball, there's a timeout called. They're handed the skull. Switch over. Feels sort of like a Pleasantville, sort of like a membrane.

Yes. And we got our asses kicked. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Terrible. Not a team, not a school for sports. And I'll be honest. They have all that black and white makeup on

and then blues on top of it, it's got to feel so bad. And they're dressed in like, they got Nike cleats. Oh, sure. Yes. Modern equipment. They're sleek looking and scary. The wrestling team, they're in togas, you know. That's right.

It's very... I'll be honest, I don't recommend this college, especially... It's really niche. It's really, really niche. Do you learn how to not touch the paintings? Or to tell people not to touch them? You learn how to tell people not to touch them.

After hours, they say, we can touch them. I've always wondered about this. I'm just touching these paintings. I've always wondered about this. And it doesn't really... Rubbing my oils. It doesn't cause any problems. No.

No. That's not why. They get more viscous, you can tell. But it's really not. If you really rub at it, it's fine. They have a Van Gogh there, right? Which one do they have? But it's an obscure one.

Oh, it's... The Potato Thrower uppers? Yes. Yeah. He's a sequel to the potato eaters where the potatoes did not agree with these people. Yes, that's right. He made it.

It's his most sort of like chunky painting. Oh, gross. You can see the paint, kind of the strokes of it, but it's all coming out of somebody's mouth. And there's oatmeal in it. I just imagine him gagging while he was painting it.

And they say they could get some of his spit up on the sort of corners of it. Oh, gross. And you touch that one? All over it. His upchuck is on there. And, you know, it's one of those paintings that makes other people throw up, of course, when they see it. It's true. Which is kind of, you know, it's like art

continuing on. I imagine. Art should make you feel something. Yeah, and it made me feel sick. Well, and you know, sometimes love can make you feel sick, and I'm so sorry about this. Get back on track. Thank you. So, I'm assuming, yes, you do share a home.

You didn't have any children, I'm assuming? Not yet. Okay. Or probably not ever. Probably not, right? I mean. Yeah, yeah. Well, hold on a second. Now, Caleb, do you still have hope that you're going to get back together?

Well, I'm hoping to do sort of a notebook style. I built a house or something. Oh, boy. You are such a romantic. I think it's very sweet. I think it's only sweet and romantic what I do. Oh. There's no other lens.

It's definitely, I'm being sweet. Oh, I do. Oh. There's no other lens. There's no, it's, it's, it's definitely, I'm being sweet. Oh, I see. Right, right, right. Oh, does this mean you think that you're maybe not open to criticism that you might've had a hand in the downfall of the relationship? Is that what you're saying? I mean, look, look, if you have a point to make. Well, I think it just always takes two a little bit, right? I mean, in a relationship.

I'm trying to. Let me, let me ask you this, Kayla. Did Debbie express what issues she had with the relationship? She was like, we're way too into old stuff. It was kind of pretty early on. And then I was like, give it a year. Give it two years. Give it three.

And it's just sort of been the same where she's like, yeah, I don't, I want to study software engineering. I'm into computer stuff. Modern stuff. Yeah. I don't like your hair that way. It's hard. Which I didn't appreciate.

Sure. You know, there were, I guess there were signs. Can I ask how all encompassing this, when she says, I don't like the old stuff. It all sounds very direct, actually. I don't know if it's signs. There might have been signs in hindsight. Can I ask how all-encompassing is this? She said, I don't like the old stuff.

Like, is it a full lifestyle? What does your home look like? Are you using old stuff at home, may I ask? Are you living in sort of in an Amish style or old or medieval? What does it look like? It's anything before 1990. I don't know. Anything before 1990.

And some sort of Star Wars memorabilia. How did I know there was some Star Wars memorabilia? There was stuff from the Titanic and whatever is in between those two things. In your home? Yeah.

So give me an example of something from the Titanic that's in your home. Five years in the museum, they let us keep some of it. Really? You could take stuff home? Yeah, once it's sort of, clearly people aren't gravitating towards it. When people lose interest,

it's like, you can have that at your house. Who cares about those sort of... Yeah, it's good Titanic. It doesn't get in the news or anything. Do you have Spuds McKenzie stuff? Great question, Doug. to have that at your house? That, you know, who cares about those sort of cat holes? Yeah, it's good Titanic doesn't get in the news or anything. Do you have Spuds McKenzie stuff? Great question, Doug. Yeah, yeah.

We have a sort of old Budweiser posters. Oh, Doug, that's so bad. I'm telling you right now, he loves Spuds McKenzie. He's so cool. So it's, I mean, I think it's,

what's it? Everything in between these two sort of generally runs together in my brain. So it's sort of ill-defined, I guess I would say. Archie Bunker's chair. Archie Bunker. Yeah, we have

this chair actually. No one was interested in that anymore. It went from the Smithsonian to the museum of things before 1990 to Caleb's house. Five years later to my house. And it's comfortable. I would say it's comfortable. It looks nice. So you essentially live in a museum. I get it.

Right? Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of old museum kind of stuff. I think it's we got a CRT TV. We got... What is that? You know, it's the kind of fizzing kind of TV, you know, the square TVs. Rabbit ears, you know, just what we would have called TV.

What is it called now? A CRT TV. It has a name now. Race theory? Critical race. I was not aware that that was a style of television. Yeah, it is. I think it's more like closed circuit or something circuit. Babe, do you know? It's just everything

before modern TVs. Yeah. Yeah. There you go then. Yeah, thanks. And we got one of those TVs. It's in the living room. It's got three or four channels.

Three or four. By choice, you have to ask. You may have to get up and turn it yourself. Yeah, you have to get up and turn it yourself. Yep. Do you know, when I was a kid, we had one of those TVs. Of course. I used to love turning that dial as quickly as possible and I'd get yelled at. Oh, that is so funny. Do you know, when I was a kid, we had one of those TVs. Of course. I used to love turning that dial

as quickly as possible and I'd get yelled at. Oh, that is so funny. Because you could break it, you could wear it out or something. Oh, the stakes were so high back then. There's a certain generation of parent that was always worried about things wearing out.

Did they ever wear out? No, they never did. Wow, I'm learning. Just another lie they told us. Because they weren't made of cloth. Oh, wow. I mean, there is this aesthetic of, I like to find all this kind of before 1990 stuff. Yes.

And she just hit a bit of a wall with it. Yeah. Yeah. And. I mean, I hate to ask this because it could be painful but do you still do you work at the same time at the museum? Same hours She's my boss So you see her every time

you're at work and she's in charge of you and is it strained? Is it uncomfortable? It's awful How long has it been since you know this post I don't know how long ago was this street breakup? Great question That was you know I want to say like six months ago know this post i don't know how long ago was this street breakup great question yeah that was uh you know i want to say like six months ago oh so this is it's it's feeling the tail end of fresh to me

and uh well listen for the amount of time you were together i think that's fair yeah i do thank you it's a very interesting way to put it well i couldn't say it's immediately fresh right it can't say it's six months. Right. But when you're talking about how it feels. In the context of a 10 year long relationship, the only relationship I've ever had. Right, the statute of limitations for that kind of a breakup and feeling bad about it. I think that's, you know.

Absolutely. It's the tail end of fresh. It's the tail end of fresh. There's simply no other way to put it. Has Debbie had other relationships before you? She's dating Sean. She's dating who? Before me. Oh, sorry. Wait, no.

Well, because he said this is the only relationship he's ever had. I know, but it's so crazy that she turned right around and dated his friend. Yeah. I'm sorry. The couple's therapist. Oh, that's right. I forgot his name was Sean. I knew the reaction was going to be bigger. She's dating her boss. I used to date my boss.

Wait, I'm sorry. Sorry, could you repeat that boss. I used to date my boss. Wait, I'm sorry. Sorry. Could you repeat that part? You used to date your boss. I definitely. Oh, sorry. Yes. Okay.

So now. I used to date my boss. She's now dating her boss. Sean. Sean. So he's above both of you. He's above both of us. Didn't realize. I forgot that.

Do you think that he, as your couple's therapist, was engineering the failure of this relationship and advising you to lean into your worst instincts. Wait, what? Wait. Oh no, Burn. This really is thrown in. Burn, what? Oh no. I'm so sorry, but I was just doing

what he said because he said that if she's feeling like she doesn't like the stuff you just gotta ask her for more time on all of it and you shouldn't it's really more on her than you

I'm on your side totally so he advised you to do the absolute most annoying thing that he knew would annoy her yes because he's probably been busy talking to her about all of her pet peeves and the things she doesn't like. Oh, Caleb. I'm sorry to make this revelation

happen right here on our podcast. And afterwards, he was like, I don't think couples therapy is for me. And so he quit the program. So he was only interested in it for as long as you were having issues. What if he was never going to do it? He just came up with it to get in between.

Well, that's what I'm saying. Did you just start tuning in? Wait a second. Oh, Doug got you. Little lick from the butter smith. He burned you with my burn of him. Hang on. I just thought of something.

Yeah. Do you think he was trying to break us up? No, this is what I was saying. Oh, okay. Yeah. You and I are like five minutes behind the conversation. So imagine how far behind Doug is. We're having a good time.

We really are. Well, maybe not Caleb. I don't mean to laugh in the face of this pain. That's okay. Well, it's not though. It's maybe not Caleb. I don't mean to laugh in the face of this pain. That's okay. Well, it's not though. It's not. I don't know if that's good for the brain. Is it?

That's not the concern right now. Is it good for his heart? No, we know that. Bulletproof coffee? Oh no, are you talking about... Which I don't know anything about because this came out too recently. Are you talking about what CrossFit people do and what not what is that called paleo whatever I think he just said bulletproof

paleo just means you put butter in everything right yes that's what it means paleo I do know about early man ate butter early man ate butter that's why he's still around yeah I mean just to ask

do you think I'm holding myself back? You know what? I do think you are, Caleb. I think that you, but here's the thing. And I hope you can take this to heart and see it as a positive. You are now a sort of, not a crossroads, but you're at a different point in the road of life where you could do something entirely different. You could change your life.

I was just going to say the same thing. First of all, I think you should probably get a job someplace else. That's probably good. Because they're probably not going anywhere. Maybe there's a job at the Fulmsmacy that could open up. There's so many different things. They are going to have a gift shop.

It is true. Hold on one second. There's the Before 1992 Museum. They are going to have a gift shop. It is true. Hold on one second. There's the Before 1992 Museum. I don't want this weird guy. Are you kidding me? Burnt. He needs help. Look at him. He's got white hair and a tan beard.

Sorry, I don't know if you realize you turn towards me when you... I thought that would make me talk out of the side of my mouth. Burnt has bad depth perception. He's never quite sure. I do have bad depth. I refuse to get my eyes checked. Okay, listen. Let's focus on what Bert was saying about endless possibilities. This is true.

It's like it is. Hold on a second. I never said endless possibilities. You said I could do whatever I want. You could do something new. You could do something else. Anything for me. Endless possibilities.

Things are possible now. I could be Sean's boss. I'm not sure about that. You have to stop. You cannot focus on that. Things are possible now that might not have been possible before. You are open to meeting new people.

Yes. Your eyes will be open to seeing new things. Okay, that's all I really meant. And while sometimes, you know, it's the old closing a door and opening another, right? Yes. God does that.

Well, yeah. Yeah. Some people think that he does. Yeah. Not me. No, not Bert. I'm agnostic. Yes.

Yes. He opens doors. He's the opener. I've never seen anybody open a door for me except me. You've never seen one? That's never happened? I mean, I guess I've been. Come on.

You've been to fancy places where they open the door, but that's not God. Unless it's God in disguise. I guess I've been. Come on. You've been to fancy places where they open the door, but that's not God. Unless it's God in disguise. I never thought about that. I like to think of that shot in the Titanic where they open the doors and everyone's a ghost. Okay. You really love Titanic. I would say you should broaden your horizons to things past 1989. I do agree.

You know, because you have all these decades of things to get into and explore. And you know what? There's a lot of romance post that time. Absolutely. You know, it might not be as tragic. Like in 1997, the movie Titanic. Which I probably... We're trying to get him off the Titanic. That's a good point. I forgot. So wait, that means, have you never seen the movie Titanic?

Look, it's the only thing from after 1990 that I've seen because it felt like I could. I felt like it was a loophole. There's lots of other movies that have been made post-90s that take place in the past. True. They're doing that? You know what's a great movie?

Miller's Crossing, released in 1990. Miller's Crossing. Takes place in a sort of undetermined... Is it romantic? There's some romance in it. Okay. But there's got to be one a little more undetermined is it romantic there's some romance in it but there's gotta be one a little more

romantic I forgot that we were talking about romance yes we were there's gotta be one just one maybe that's more romantic

than that one you know 10 things I hate about you people love that movie Julia Stiles save the last dance also Julia Stiles you gotta hear Nirvana

where she's dancing and then it cuts 30 feet away and then a different dancer does the actual move and then it cuts 30 feet away and then a different dancer does the actual move and then it cuts right back to her face. And it seems like she danced.

And it seems like she danced. It seems like she danced for all the world. It seems like she danced. But it's so romantic. Listen, there's so, I mean, my gosh. 10 Things I Hate About You.

That's the one I just said. Oh, that I said in the last dance. You just tuned in. Now you're five minutes behind. He got me with the just tuned in. This butter is working. Voice on my own petard.

This is fun. But Caleb, your situation is serious. Yes, yes, yes. But you know, I do think you need to get away from this situation. You could also, have you ever been outside of Dignity Falls? No. Probably not. You should maybe travel a little bit.

It's really fun. It broadens the mind. You know, I once went to Disneyland, and I didn't stay there long. I was so overwhelmed after I entered the park, and I turned right around and left, but I still treasure that memory. You went to the entrance. You went through the gates. I went through the gates.

Was there for six minutes. There was so much stuff, and I just turned around and left. But I will never forget that six minutes. It's like a fish that fell out of the water for a second. That's how I felt. Yeah. That's how I... Well, I'm not sure that's the greatest story to share because, you know, you weren't ready

for that, right? And we want him to go to do something that he'll be ready for. That's a great point, Joan. You know, I've always... You said it like it wasn't. No, I sincerely mean that was a great point, Joan. You know, I've always... You said it like it wasn't. No, I sincerely mean that was a great point. Okay, good. Can I tell you something I've always wanted to do?

Please. It's going to sound stupid. No. Have you ever heard of a movie called 10 Things I Hate About You? Yes. Yes, we have. And what about it, Caleb? What about it? I want to watch about it i want to watch it i think it's a great idea i think that that's your homework uh from me if i was your mom because i always like to put my mom cap on at the end of our to do that i love to put my mom cap it's a beautiful cap you should actually i'm so glad you finally had one made it's long it's a long cap

it's one of those long caps and i'm gonna put it on and i'm gonna say your homework okay is to go uh do you still have the fake video store in the museum yeah okay i bet you anything that they have it in there. Okay. No, actually they wouldn't because it's a movie from, sorry. Also, I don't want you going back to the museum. Yeah. All right.

So they're not going to have to say the last sentence. They also won't have 10 things I hate about you. Okay. That's right. That's right. Okay. That's post. Okay.

Sorry. So you can find it online anywhere. Go home. Look up. Do you know what online is? I mean, I said I had TikTok earlier. So we've established that. No, you didn't say you had it.

You didn't say you were aware of it. I was aware of it. And he could have been referring to the... Why do we have to bring that back up? We should all forget. No one should ever speak that name out loud. They really shouldn't. I just saw the Maymott up poster just a few days ago, and that's when it really hit me.

Did you really? Just to see it. Oh, no. Our collective shame. Unbelievable. Pearls, yeah. So you go home. It's a little.

You got to dig a little deeper for that one, I think. Oh. Well, you know, Steely Dan also was supposed to be. What is that? A dildo. A dildo. Oh. A shiny metallic dildo.

Did I just tell you that, Doug? Did you just now find that out? Did you find out based on William S. Burroughs, right? I believe so, yes. Well, Doug's got something he can do now. I'm learning all sorts of stuff about bad Dan names. You're not still living with Debbie, are you? Yeah.

Oh, that's rough. I'm surprised. I'm surprised that she didn't move out. And it's not like I want that to happen. But it doesn't seem like the house was really for her it's full of all your old stuff she started modernizing doing diy projects room by room right and so her room is it's got all those you ever see like smart home stuff yes i've heard about it from someone else's tiktok where they automate the lights and stuff and so she's got a lot of that going on. Absolutely. Different colored light bulbs and stuff. Yeah.

Well, that's tough because then I just I feel like you have to get out of that environment. I'm not sure you should be living together anymore. Do you guys know of a place? I mean, it does feel a bit disingenuous with 100 extra rooms to say that we don't. Okay. We don't. But most of them

are full of babe. We don't know. But most of them are full of... Babe. Well, because the fact of the matter is they're all filled with rice or bats or beer or bees. Boy, that's true. I mean, this place, I don't know. How many rooms in this house have a bed in them?

Not many. Can I tell you something? I just realized that. Certainly not the apiary or the hatchery. Oh, wow. You've got a lot of rooms. There's no beds in there. They've got a lot of rooms, yeah.

We have a lot of rooms. Yeah, yeah. But 10 Things I Hate About You. Yeah. Go watch it. Just lose yourself in the story is all I ask. Yeah, yeah. Let yourself believe that there is another.

Here's why it's a perfect movie. Okay. Because it's based on a Shakespeare play. Which one? Was it Kiss? Kiss and Mockingbird. Kiss and Mocking. I believe it was the one with Beatrice. Taming of the Shrew.

Benedict. Taming of the Shrew. I think it was Taming of the Shrew. So that's a perfect bridge. Something from the past. It was either Taming of the Shrew or Much Ado. It was one of the two. I think it was Taming of the Shrew because nobody is... They hate each other pretty bad in Much Ado. But aren't there people that are disguised in that? Nope. That's both night.

In Much Ado? Okay, so we obviously don't know. But isn't there a woman disguised as a man in Much Ado about nothing? No. Okay. So in any event, this one is based on tending to the true and so it's a it's a perfect link from uh pre-1990 into post-1990 and you know there's so many things like that because they basically just mind everything old to try to make it new again

that's all they do now um in fact you could watch the new Frasier even though you couldn't watch the old Frasier. Oh, right. But is there, because there's nothing more 90s than Frasier. You can't watch anything. If you like Frasier Crane from Cheers, he had his own show and it was all brown and tan and

I thought Cheers was. Yeah, Cheers was brown and tan. Cheers was very brown and then they said, let's lighten things up a little bit. They added some gray. Yeah, Cheers was brown and tan. Cheers was very brown. And then they said, let's lighten things up a little bit. They added some gray. Yeah. They added some gray. It's very taupe. You're in Seattle.

It's a very taupe show. Yes. Okay. Cheers. Frazier. Yeah. Just thinking about that. But now, guess what?

That rascally dog, Eddie. So I'll just start back. It's back in 2023. So you can watch that. Yes. It's really good. None of the original cast except Frazier. Yes. No one wanted to come back.

But what fun, because the character on Frasier that you loved the most, that you only cared about was Frasier. And he's still Frasiering. So it doesn't, again, just like watching it from the past, but now you're watching this in real time, in modern day,

and we're pushing you into the now. Yeah. I'm sure that's the way to start with that. That's why we want to push you into the now. Out of the nest of the past and down onto the ground of the future. Slamming into the ground of the future. Yes, unless you fly.

Unless I fly. Yes. And he just might. And Caleb, I really hope that for you. And like we always say to people here on our podcast, best of luck to you. And I got to come to people here on our podcast, best of luck to you. And I got to come to see that museum. That's practically our catchphrase.

I think, yes, it really is. And I have to come to that museum. I got to check it out. Yeah. Well, I'm hopefully not going to be there, but you know. You know what? If I go there and you're not there, I'll be so happy. Because I'll know that that means you moved on.

That means you flew. Caleb, if I never see you again, I'll be thrilled. Just like Ben Affleck says to Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting. Yes, that's how I meant it. And that's another movie you could check. I'll have to try to figure out how to contextualize that.

So Bill Clinton. Well, what happens is, you know, he goes to pick him up every day. You know, they go to work and we go to work and we like have a beer and it's fine. But I just hope that one day I drive and I got to pick you up and you're not there. That would be the best day of my life. They went from being from Boston to having some sort of condition. Same.

I don't know if you heard Doug say, see Bill Clinton play a saxophone. Sorry. But he did say it. I didn't hear that bit. And I didn't want to be the only one who heard it. I was carrying up for my Ben Affleck impression. It's just, I heard it from another room. I didn't know.

So what did you say, Mitch? You gotta watch him on Arsenio playing the saxophone. Yeah. I guess that's a must watch. I'll have to catch up on his. Or did that happen in 1989? I don't know.

The race for the presidency. I don't know. In the race for the presidency. I don't know when it happened. I'm not quite sure. He became president in 1990, did he not? 92. I was going to say, I thought it was 92. Oh, that's right, because George H.W. Bush. No one cares.

Caleb. Least of all, Caleb. We do wish you the best of luck, and thank you for appearing on the Neighborhood List. Is there anything you want to say to Debbie and Sean while you have this forum? Hey, I think that's smart to finally, I don't know, just to tell them that

I wish the best for them. I know that was hard to do. And if they would both just look me in the eye for about an hour and a half. Oh, no. We could maybe figure something out. Because we already did that. No, we already did that one. And then you added more time. So if it didn half. Oh, no. We could maybe figure something out. Because we already did that. No, we already did that one.

And then you added more time. So if it didn't work before, no. A half hour is not going to help. A half hour is not going to do anything. No, it's not going to. Sometimes like a microwave. From what I've heard. They had microwaves?

Yeah, they had. They didn't have the 30 second Yad time on the 89. No, that's true. No, they didn't have the potato button or the popcorn button. The potato button. Who has ever used it? I can't wait to eat this one potato.

But I don't have a hundred hours. How could I figure this out? Well, potato button or not, Caleb, we wish you luck. We really do. And thank you for being here. We really do. And we'll take a break and more when the Neighbor Listen returns.

This is Nadine. My failed delivery fiasco. Purchased heavyweight item with FedEx as shipper. I had specific delivery instructions confirmed by tracking info. FedEx dropped ship outside. Never notified me. Lied about delivery. Said item was left in mail room, which gives impression of enclosed room.

There is no mail room here. Four outdoor mailboxes under outside staircase. So technically, I never received delivery per agreed sales slip. FedEx's mistake. By the by, Not the first time. And welcome back to The Neighborhood Listen. Bert, I want you to take this job. I'm so excited for you.

You know what? I think I'm going to do it. Oh, this is very exciting. I think I'm going to do it. Oh, wow. The gang will understand. I'm going to talk to the gang and maybe some of them will come over. Yes. And if they don't want to,

or if they're mad, they weren't your gang to begin with. That, that's a great way to look at it. Yeah. That's a great way to look at it. Thank you, Joe.

You're welcome. And I really hope Caleb's okay. Uh, I do too, but, I don't like his chances. He, he doesn't sound like,

it was embarrassing when he heard us whispering about him. That was, that really was a bad moment. That was a bad call. Because here's's what i thought you turned the opposite way you meant to here's what i thought because i thought i could like talk to it all but then i forgot to do that because i thought like well then you won't be able to understand what i'm saying because it'll sound weird and then i was just saying the thing right to his face yeah it was like you know putting up your hand to whisper but you know the person's on the on the wrong side you

put your hand up on the wrong side the wrong the person's on the, on the wrong side. You put your hand up on the wrong side. The hand shield on the wrong side. The hand shield. Yeah. But also, wouldn't you know if somebody put up their hand to their face like that, that they were talking about you? Of course. Of course. Yeah, yeah.

Have you ever caught somebody in that moment where they're clearly talking about you? Well, it's kind of funny, but you know, back in the day when we had the Civic Light Opera and we did regular musicals, we would have Broadway style microphones. Civic Light Opera and you did. A DG, CVO Broadway style microphones. Civic Light Opera and you did- DG, CVO, Dignity Falls Civic Light Opera. I mean, CVLO. And did you say you did regular musicals? I mean, CLO. What?

I'm sorry. The CLO, the Coal Light Orchestra. Now, what was your question? You said you did regular musicals? Right, and we had the Civic Light Opera. Oh, you regularly did them. We would have a regular season. season we would regularly do them and it's just so sad the funding fell out but um just fell out it just fell out that's the term for it and so we'd have those very broadway style mics you put you know the know, it's a pack around your waist.

And then if you can picture it, it's a wire that goes up into your hair. And then they tape the little mic, tiny, tiny little mic on your forehead. But when you want to like, you know, you got to be careful because those mics can be on and people can have headsets on and be listening out in the audience. Like when you're doing, when you're teching a show, you're doing the lights and the cues for it. And they're long days and actors always want to gripe. And usually it's like about the director. And you can always tell when actors are doing that because they stand on stage and they cover their, their forehead.

Sure. But then they're just clearly saying like, you know, they're literally just swearing and looking out at the audience. And it's like, we know your hands on your forehead. We know that you're talking about us. Oh boy. Actors are the despise them except for you well thanks well i'm not really an actor anyways joe what that's not true at all i'm more of a realtor which is also kind of like basically now an actor you get in this reality tv that you're what's more of an actor than that it's all fake because it's a confusing world okay so here's a post i have listen to this this is from Mia. Do you need me to hold that further away?

I got it. Burnt, I am reaching that age, but I have contacts and I'll have you know. I have to use readers now. They're supposed to work as readers. They're supposed to work as readers. Oh, really? Bifocals almost. That when I look down, I should still be able to read. But yes, I did have to pull it further

away and thank you for letting everyone know something they would have never known because this is a podcast. I was just teasing you. We could cut this out, right, Doug? He won't. Oh boy, oh boy. The butter melted. How? First it was

so extremely solid. It's all gone. In the space of an hour. Wait, but wait, How is it gone? Like it's absorbed into the floor. The fire of the forge. I thought, oh, why don't I put the butter over that? I thought you had the butter in a different room.

You had it in the forge with you? You dragged it into the forge? That's all you had to do then, babe. All you had to do was sit it in there for like five minutes and it would have worked. There you go. Well, it's all gone now. Well, okay how much sorry i'm upset i'm sorry that you're upset babe wow i've never heard doug upset before i'm standing in a pool of butter so wait there is a pool of butter standing in a pool of butter well we well it didn't just? You said it's all gone. It didn't vaporize. What a plaintive watch from Doug. I've never heard it.

Yeah, it's on the floor. It sounds distraught. He's beside himself. Are you suggesting I could lick it up off the floor? I definitely am not, but I... I didn't hear that either, Doug. That's on you. That's definitely on you.

Okay. I'm saying, is there any way to salvage it? Could we use it in any way? Well, that's how I would salvage it. Just lick it up? What about putting it in a container, for God's sake? Well, that's how I would salvage it. Just lick it up? What about putting it in a container, for God's sake, and let it harden again?

of the forge. But surely you saw it melting. Yes, yes. It didn't just melt. It melted in a flash. In a flash. Because it is so hot. I'm smelting swords.

Come on. I can't deal with this nonsense. You know what, though? I'm feeling the heat. Even this room's starting to heat up. Maybe you should shut down the forge. I think you should. Yeah.

You don't need that knife anymore. No. Yeah. Definitely don't. Pour some cold water on it. Maybe next year, right? No, we are not doing this contest again. Clearly, we don't deserve it.

We just lost all the butter. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. All right. Unless you've got a seven-pound lobster, then I don't know what you're going to do. You know, there might be one out there. Because lobsters, they just get bigger and bigger. That is true. The Dignity Falls

lake lobsters. Oh, God. They give me the creeps. They give me the creeps. They shouldn't exist. They do taste terrible. They're chewy. They're disgusting.

They taste like Gatorade. They do taste like Gatorade. It's very weird. And it's funny. It's almost like a magical thing where they taste like everyone's least favorite flavor of Gatorade. I thought you were going to say they taste like everyone's least favorite food. Like it's individual for each person. Like really? Oh, I thought it tasted

like Brussels sprouts. Also, they're brown. They are brown. They are brown. And furry. Yes, they have fur. All right. Let's read this last post. Enough about the furry lake lobsters of dignity. They don't even deserve to be discussed.

The creatures that God forgot. All right. This is Mia. Thank you. We united against the common foe. Please just start cleaning up the butter. Okay. The things I have to say.

All right. Mia says, Hi, everyone. I'm severely terrified of spiders and they always find a way into my room. I live with roommates and I currently live in the living room. i have questions that has two vents and a sliding

door to the backyard and a door to the garage does anyone have any advice to prevent them from coming in three question marks anything that is cat friendly is appreciated what does she have in mind what does she have in mind it does feel like she's dreaming up something that would also interfere with the cat's life there's some creature or some gremlin that would get rid of spiders i mean i guess first of all are you okay mia do you understand that you can't keep spiders out of a house for god's sake absolutely No, absolutely not. And you're mentioning it's like she's trolling us. She mentions a sliding glass door. She mentions

two vents. She mentions a door to the garage. Are you kidding me, Mia? I mean, be serious. There's also a big hole in the ceiling. There's also, I live in a web. I think that Joan, I absolutely agree that spiders want to get in your house they will get in your house

of course they will there's no keeping them out there's no keeping especially that those stupid ass daddy long legs that just hang out in the corner of the tub

oh my god what do they do what do they think they're going to get they make me so mad Burton hates daddy long legs oh and then within 48 hours

they're just on their backs they're gone yes they're gone have you ever seen when they just start spinning in place? Oh, yes. I've seen that happen before. They never stop.

I have not seen that. I hate it. If you disturb their web at all. I don't think they mean to do it. It's just as if they become- I've never even seen one build a web. Well, they just sort of float. They clearly do.

They're sitting there in the corner in a web. I just see them- But their webs look really messed up. They don't have pretty webs. No, I've seen them sitting in the tub, and i've seen them sitting in the corner of the ceiling not on a web just hanging out and and i never once catching a bug never once useless here's what you never see a daddy long legs having a feast i thought you're gonna say daddy dumb legs which honestly that's what we should call him daddy dumb legs get. Get it. Get them, Bert.

I despise them. So, I mean, honestly, and again. How are they still around? It doesn't sound like you're afraid of them. I can't get past them. Don't respect them. I don't respect them, but I also, I don't understand how they still exist. But I'd rather you be annoyed by them than terrified. For sure.

Like Mia is, because to be honest, we need to stop being terrified of spiders i mean now listen well they say that they need to stop i say that well they need to stop crawling across our faces yes and i hate the myth that we swallow them that is terrifying yeah i hate i hate that that's a thing and i don't know why they have to come like anytime a spider crawls on you that's awful but if i just see a spider you know okay it's like i can handle it it's fine but also i want to know why she's living in the living room because those roommates i mean they have she has the bad end of a deal i you know what i've been in that exact situation where i had to live in the living room yes yes yes oh this was this was in my early 20s okay yes and it's called the living room but i it was just that's where my bed was on a couch i slept on a bed oh i slept i bed and i

retrieved there was a couch in the bedroom i mean in the living room of course i'd stayed there but then at some point because there was a bunch of us that lived in this place and then it got down to just two of us and then uh i retrieved what was my childhood bed which was the bottom half of a bunk bed it was made it was a metal frame and i had that in the in the living room and so we essentially we had two big bedrooms is how it ended up on opposite ends of the building but it was bleak and uh i remember one time my roommate brought someone home it was i had a female roommate and she and this is true oh boy and she brought a gentleman caller home oh dear and they came in to uh visit with me a little bit and there i was in my bed which looked like

it looked like a prison cot essentially and uh it was uh it was mortifying. That's mortifying. That is just hard, man. Those living situations when you're younger. I remember my freshman year of college and we had bunk beds and my roommate, she was on top, but not this night. She was on the futon that was right next to me.

Like, I mean, I'm on the bottom bunk and we had this futon, you know what I mean? And she was from Indiana. She was called a futon. And she was on the futon that was right next to me. Like, I mean, I'm on the bottom bunk and we have this futon. You know what I mean? And she was from Indiana. She called it futon. And she was on the futon with her boyfriend, Buddy. And I'm telling you, I kind of woke up when they were already going at it. And I swear, I almost got kicked in the face

several times. There were just limbs flying everywhere. And so I'm just facing this way just kind of, I'm frozen, right? So I kind of just had to watch, watch, hear it happen. Oh, you had to. Okay. Where was I going to go, burnt? Well, I mean.

It was dark. I couldn't see anything. I could just see limbs. To be fair, Joan, you made it sound like you were watching these people have sex. Is that fair to say? No. Is it fair to say you made it sound that way? Okay, fine.

I guess it is. What could I do but watch them have sex? I was embarrassed I didn't want to make them embarrassed and get up and creep out It's a tiny dorm room I've never experienced this but I've heard this story from so many people I've heard people having sex

very near to me not in the exact same room but in the next room. Or, you know, there was, I remember one situation where it was sort of loft bedroom and I was crashing on this couch. And then there was a couple like clearly having sex. But that idea of like, of people saying, well, I know we're in the same room, but we're just going to do it anyway.

It's like, what is this, medieval times? No, usually alcohol informs that decision, first of all. They don't care. Of course. They don't care. Yeah. Is this the Butterbell couple? Is this that same couple that you're talking about?

No. Okay. That's an entirely different couple. Okay. So anyways, I don't know what to tell you mia because i think you should actually just get a new apartment you're not going to get rid of spiders but at least you'll get a room with a door for god's sake if you're in a situation and i speak from experience if you're living in the living room you're sleeping in the living room you do

not have options and spiders are your least concern absolutely but you'll see that with the with the advantage point of time. Maybe she and Caleb can move in together and be roommates. If you want to put a placebo on this, you can get one of those things you plug into an outlet that emits some sort of sonic... Oh, like a zap. A zap that spiders don't like.

Except they don't care about that at all. There's no bug that this works on. And I don't know who invented it, but I hope they're in hell. Well, you heard it here, folks. You heard it here. I hope the inventor of the plug-in

bug repellent is in hell. Well, that's a great send-off for everyone this week. Yeah. Well, thank you for listening, everyone. We really appreciate it. And if you would like to hear ad-free versions of this show, you can, of course, sign up at listening, everyone. We really appreciate it. And if you would like to hear ad-free versions of this show,

you can, of course, sign up at cbbworld.com and you will hear not only ad-free versions of these episodes, but you will get access to the bonus room where there is content that is only behind that paywall and it's a look at other things that are happening in Dignity Falls. The first one we released, of course, was a live episode that we did in Los Angeles and then we've released

another one. What happened? After the Daddy Long Lace show up. I thought about them again and they got so bad. So angry. We released another one as of this recording. That is the gang here watching Superman 2.

Yes, because it came up in a previous episode. We couldn't stop talking about it. And so you find the movie somewhere, wherever you find it, and you queue it up and you listen to it with us. We're all watching it together. It's fun. It's going to be fun. And this was not like a director's cut or anything like that.

This is just plain old Superman 2. Plain old Superman 2. Yes. And so do check that out. And we will release, of course, we're releasing bonus content every month for the people that signed up at cbbworld.com. It's a lot of fun and very reasonable. I mean, there's a lot of great shows in addition to ours

and I highly, I highly recommend it. Tremendous. Wonderful. Well, we're all in agreement. So that means we can finally sign off.

We'll be back next week and until then, goodbye. And bye. All of the posts used in this episode were real only some geographical specifics have been changed the neighborhood listen is hosted and produced by me paul f tompkins and me nicole parker and me brett morris this week's guest was played by zach oyama the neighborhood listen is a production of comedy bang bang world go to cbbworld.com to unlock the entire history of the show, ad-free, as well as brand new full-length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maximus subscribers.

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