The Neighborhood Listen - An Unusual Assault with Edgar Blackmon

Episode Date: November 5, 2024

Joan describes a harrowing dream, Burnt takes issue with a geographic landmark, while Doug is going "solo". Later, Glen goes through his very detailed post about a rough encounter in town.Want more TNL? Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for the Maximus plan to unlock access to all seasons ad-free, as well as brand new exclusive BONUS ROOM episodes adventuring deeper into Dignity Falls!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website. Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad-free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of The Bonus Room, go to CBBWorld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership.

And now, please enjoy this episode of... The Neighborhood Listen! Knock, knock. Who's there? Your neighbor. Good! And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen! Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor! Good! In Dignity Falls, you're never alone You've got the Neighbor Half App and us!

Bert! And Joan! From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell We'll cover it all And meet new neighbors as well We'll chat about any posts you're missing So just tune in to The Neighborhood Listen. Are we?

Beep. Oh, that beep means we have to go. It doesn't matter whether we're ready or not heard. No, every time we hear that. I kind of like that because sometimes, I'll be very honest, you ever have this, sometimes I get nervous to start the podcast. I, I, I feel like I have an intense nervousness right before.

Okay. And then as soon as we begin speaking, I relax. You know what, that is true. I do too, cause you usually start speaking and your voice always relaxes me. Oh, well I'm glad to hear that. I mean, sometimes you seize up and you look directly in the eye.

You look me in the eye and then something happens. And then I start to float above my body. You float above your body and you... And I can see myself down there and I'm like, it's not going good. But yes, I know what you mean. Once I start, it's okay. But I think maybe it's just sort of that stage fright or right before you walk on stage, sometimes that gets a little...

I can't imagine what that's like. It's very, it can be very scary. It can be very overwhelming. Yes. But many famous actors have stage fright or are excited about that. Who? Well, I think who, one of the famous ones was like...

Dennis Quaid? I can't see Dennis Quaid be afraid of anything. John Wilkes Booth. Oh dear. I mean, he probably did a massive anxiety. Randy Quaid. Definitely. The people I'm thinking of, to be honest, are all Broadway people that I'm not sure many people would know.

Do you think that John Wilkes Booth got butterflies right before he assassinated you? Oh my gosh. This is this. Because he was in the theater. Now, I did not have this on my bingo card for the podcast today. I did not know that two minutes in. I am, I love to sit down. It's kind of like my vision board.

I get my, I wake up, I take, wake, wake. You wake up again. Because the first wake up was a dream. It's terrible. Has that ever happened to you? Oh, a lot. Where you, where you wake up in a dream and then you wake up in real, oh come on now. Why are you so mad about this?

That's just made up in movies. That doesn't happen. What are you talking about, Bert? That's absolutely happened to me. I had a dream just a few weeks ago that Doug woke me up. He was like, babe, babe, hurry, the house is on fire. And then I was like, and then I got up and it was on fire. And just as I was about to, I think die, I actually did wake up and there was smoke in the house.

But here's the thing, if you wake up in a dream, you wake up in real life. If you wake up in a dream, is this supposed to be like an inception thing? Like if you die in the dream, you die in real life? Like a Freddy Krueger thing? Yes. Okay. A Freddy Krueger thing.

But here's the thing, I put it to you, Joan. Oh. That when you- I didn't have you putting it to me on my bingo card either. I had me putting it to you. Oh no. Twist. You were, you were, you were awakened by Doug in the dream to an emergency as opposed to an emergency, the house is on fire and then you wake up and you go, Oh, it was all a dream. And then you look around and the house is on fire and then you wake up and you go, oh, it was all a dream. And then you look around and the house is on fire and then you wake up again. That's

what I mean. Well, see, but what you're describing has happened to me in real life many times because as you know, my twin boys were total pyromaniacs growing up. I mean, still are. My twins, of course, for everyone listening, I'm talking about Matt and. Pillsbury. And Pillsbury. Matt and Pillsbury just loved, and especially they loved to start fires in the morning. They loved to dawn fire. They liked it in the morning. They did.

It was their, it was their Folgers, you know what I mean? Yeah. It was their Folgers. That's an old reference. Everyone has a Folgers. Everyone has a Folgers in your cup. Sometimes it's real Folgers. Sometimes it's fire. Do you think assassinating President Lincoln

was John Wilkes Booth's fault? Why are you wanting to get back to this? I don't know. I got it on the brain now. I didn't know you had so many questions about John Wilkes Booth. All right, let's get into it. It's just the one. Let's talk about it if you must.

Oh, just the one? Well, just what was, what he was thinking because he obviously was a terrible person. Sure. But also probably very damaged. I mean, cause wasn't he, he was sort of a, Hurt people, hurt people. He had a chip on his shoulder.

Yes, that's true. And it counts for John Wilkes Booth too. Yes. But am I, am I correct in that he had a brother as well that was like an actor? Am I misremembering this? Two brothers were actors. Oh boy, this was a real Baldwin situation.

And they were more successful. Yes, he was the Stephen Baldwin of the Booth family. He was the Stephen, he was the Stephen. Ha ha ha. Booth and Baldwin. Ugh, I love their sheets. Do you? Do you?

What did you say? and Baldwin. I love their sheets. Did you say I said booth and Baldwin like, but then in my head, it sounded like a company that makes sheets. Oh, booth and Baldwin. Great thread count. You know, I'm a booth in the streets, but a Baldwin in the sustainable. What? Sorry. Now, um, um, uh, Now, do Billy Baldwin and Stephen Baldwin act anymore at all?

I think I saw Stephen in something recently. Was it co-starring Kirk Cameron? By that I mean, I think I saw that he was in something. Like I didn't see what he was in. But if I had to put money on it, I was going to say bet money. And I got my words mixed around. If I was going to put a hard button on it, which would be a snap, I would say that Stephen has worked sooner

or most more recently than Billy Baldwin. I feel like Billy. I feel the last thing he did was sliver. That's all I remember. That's all I remember. Was he in backdraft? Was he? Yes. I guess he was. I asked you.

Yes, and I was asking you back. And saying, I was asking. That's unfair. I was asking the universe for the answer. I believe he was in backdraft, yes. Yes. That's the one where the, isn't it the one where Donald Sutherland is the, he's the inspector,

but he's also the arsonist, right? Doesn't he turn out to be the bad guy? I honestly don't know. Starting all the fires. I can't recall if I've seen that movie or not. No, we're not gonna get it. I can't do the first five minutes for you, but no, no, no, we're not gonna do it. We're not gonna do that. But it was a ride at Universal Studios. Oh, yes, it was. And I'll tell you what, I think we talked about this before. I took the boys. They

went on it 20 times. They went on it 20 times. They tried to spend the night in there. You know, if you can spend the night in the backdraft ride, you would have a million dollars. They didn't care about that. It's extremely haunted. It's extremely haunted. By Burt Wood. Who was an extra on the film, I believe. That's right.

The only other person I know that had your name. Featured extra. But you go there and you just stand on like a balcony and things just slowly start to get worse and then it is so hot. Starts out not great. Starts out not great. Already bad. It goes from bad to worse.

And then it's pure panic because it's too hot. I'm glad they got rid of it. I think it was so dangerous. And it doesn't tie into the movie in any way other than it's a fire. That's right. Look, we made a fire. They were, and it used to be the King Kong ride, if I'm not mistaken. Oh, was that, oh, but that didn't come after, or you mean the King Kong ride replaced Backdraft? I think that, well, there might've been two iterations of the King Kong ride.

I think so. I believe first it was based on the 1976 King Kong with a very deceptive poster where he's standing atop the two World Trade Towers. Oh dear. So he wasn't that big. He was pretty big, but he was not big enough to be standing on both of them.

Sure. And then I think it became the backdraft ride. And then I think it reverted back to King Kong after the disastrous Peter Jackson King Kong movie. Oh yes. And then there was a ride that was called Earthquake. That's true isn't it? Yes. Yeah.

I think it's part of the tram ride. That's right. I can't believe how much I remember about the Universal Studios tour. We only did it a couple of times. And I've only read Wikipedia articles. But Doug loved it. Sorry, Doug. You sure did. My husband Doug, who of course is our engineer and also is working on a new room.

And let me tell you, there's a you know, he was he was window washing last week outside. And we've got kind of a theme going on because he watched this movie. I'll tell you where he is right now. He's in the and I can't believe it took this long to get to this. He's in the rock climbing room because there's this documentary out. There was not a rock climbing room before. I don't think there was, right babe? No, this is the first. And I'm shocked.

I mean, I've climbed a lot of the rooms. I'm only, oh, okay. Yeah, and I was like, well, you should just actually, you know, make a room. There's a Velcro room, we've had that. Yes, of course. Maybe you're thinking of that. I don't believe there was, well, listen,

one of our listeners will tell us if there was, but, and if we already, I mean, and by that, I mean, if we already covered this, and, uh, we don't want to make, we never want to say fans. We know we have listeners. We don't necessarily know we have fans. Doug, I'm only hearing you in my right ear. That's right. Yeah. I'm on the East wing of the house. So I thought sometimes you don't know exactly where I am in the house. I never know exactly. So you did this on purpose. So I thought you could kind of keep track of me this way.

So if I wanted to turn my face in a direction to where you are, I could feel like I was speaking with you. Yeah. And then I know where you guys are and I can smile. I just feel like you're standing to my right. Just whispering it. Wait, what did you say? You can smile in our direction. But I just feel like you're standing to my right just whispering, wait, what'd you say? You can smile in our direction.

Oh my gosh. That's nice. That's nice. That's nice. It's a little, I'm feeling a little crazy. I can run over here. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. So now you're in a more central location

because I'm hearing you in both ears. Yes, this is much more of a balance. Okay, well thank you. He, he, he, he, he, he. I'm amazed you're able to do that while you're probably hanging from a, from a, I don't even know what you call it, a precipice? Oh. Yeah, crag. Crag, that's right.

Oh, crag. He watched this movie. I don't know if you saw that there was a documentary, first of all, a couple of years ago. And then the second one came out just recently. It's this guy named Alex who, who climbed the, who scaled. Is this Free Solo? Yeah, Free Solo. Free Solo. Did you ever see that burnt?. Oh, see he can't, I mean.

What is that? I thought it was going to be Star Wars. He did. So he started watching it. Yeah. Free solo, Star Wars story. He thought it was another installation. You were doing a little Star Wars accent there.

Cicacutu solo. Oh boy. This could go on forever. I don't think Han could ever do what this guy did though. No, it was amazing. And then, so then now they did this, there's a new one called the Devil's Climb, where they climb something called the Devil's Thumb.

He and this guy named Johnny, his older mentor. The Devil's Thumb. It's called the Devil's Thumb. Make sure the devil giving you a thumbs up. Well, I don't know how to feel about that. No one want, right? That's conflicting. If he's giving me the thumbs up,

it must be something bad. Worst trick the devil ever played was giving me a thumbs up. Yeah, so they, and it's infuriating because this guy has... As infuriating as the name the devil's thong, it bothers me a lot. This guy, and listen, I respect it because I could never do this, this, again, I wanted to say shit, but I get in trouble. I only get a few swear words per season from Doug. He doesn't like it when I swear, but you know what?

I think, I think, I think it earns it. Okay. Cause I can't do this shit. It's really hard, you know, and very scary. This guy has three kids and he blew out his Achilles tendon. And then he was climbing things. Nope. Yes. Climbing things. Then he healed it. Then he decided when we, cause it wasn't healed yet.

He's like, well, I can climb in a boot. So he climbed in the boot and then he slammed it against the rock He he he broke he blew out his Achilles tendon three three day three times. I want to tell you this I'm so angry. I can't get the words out. No, I'm a pharmacist. Okay, I've never climbed a rock a mountain anything like that in my life I usually don't associate pharmacist and rock climbing. I could tell you right now What if there was a pharmacist rock climbing group? There is. They climb in their coats. They try to recruit me. They did?

Yeah. They're always looking for more guys because they keep dying. Um, but I could tell you right now, having no expertise in climbing rocks whatsoever. You can't climb in a boot. You can't do it. Right. You can't climb in a boot.

You shouldn't. It's like one of those air boots, you know, that was supposed to keep it protected. But what are you doing? So three separate times, it means he's got pins down there and he decided, oh, I need 50 more days to heal. So for 50 days, we'll bike to the devil's thumb

for two months. I'm not kidding. You can't make this up. Nope. And then climb it. That's how long it takes to get there. That's how long it takes to bike there. I thought it was going to be a commute. We'll go every day, take a look at the old thumb, and then go back home.

Take a look at the old thumb. The devil's thumb. So stupid. I really was unprepared for you to be so annoyed by the name. You can't start with devils and end with thumb. It's because it's five peaks, right? It's five mountain peaks. And they each, it's kind of like a hand.

And then the thumb is obviously the biggest one. I think that's why they called it that. The first two is which one and which two. And then it's the cat ears. And then it's the devil's thumb. What? You're so mad. You're so mad.

That's not a hand. That's not a hand. If two things are witches, two other things are ears, and one thing is a thumb. No. The whole- has to be hand themed. It has to have a single theme. Okay, so then give me, what should the names be? What would you name it?

If you start with the devil's thumb, and we're doing it. Well, I'm not gonna, I deny that premise. You don't start number one. I will not start with that. I know, you are a pointer finger. I'm a pointer to, I don't, I deny that premise. You don't start number one. I will not start with you. I know, you are a, you're a pointer finger. I'm a pointer finger counter. Through and through. Number one is the index ringer.

Always and forever. Always and forever. You're not a coach or a politician. No, I'm not a coach or European. Yes. We are just shoving our thumbs up in the air as much as possible. Okay, so what would you call them then?

Okay, so if they're, if they're, let's start with witches. Great, let's start with witches. Okay, so you got, obviously, when you're looking at them, you have the wicked witch of the west and the wicked witch of the east. Okay, okay. And then you fill in the directions from there. To be fair, they might call it the east witch

and the west witch, I could be wrong, but they might. They might've gotten that right for you. But you don't like cat ears. But they're next to each other. They are next to each other. Yes. That doesn't make sense. I'm saying if you're looking at a range

and they each have individual names, theme it. So then it's the pinky and the thumb are the East and West witches. Right? I guess. Right? Yes, yes sir. Oh my God.

He's, you know what he did? He grabbed me by the shirt and he shook me. Well, Jonah, I was kidding, yes sir. Oh my God. You know what he did? He grabbed me by the shirt and he shook me. Well, Jonah, I was kidding of course. Bert, you have never laid hands on me like that before. I realized how ridiculous I sounded and I was doing a bit and I apologize. That's okay. I didn't mean to startle you.

Oh, I just have to straighten out my blouse. Bert, that is strike one. Oh, boy. Doug, he's gonna come for you. Obviously, I meant no disrespect to Jonah or to you or to your household. You do not want to get to strike one. Oh boy. Doug, he's going to come for you. Obviously, I meant no disrespect to Joan or to you or to your household. You do not want to get to strike four. And he's been working at- Strike four?

What sport is this? Rock climbing. Oh, that guy's got one more Achilles tendon tear and then that's it. He's got really strong hands. He's chalked up all over the place. There's chalk prints everywhere. Covered in chalk. He's covered in chalk. Oh, you just covered the entire body in chalk.

Yeah, he does just the game. You know what, why not? Sure, why not? Nice and dry. It's nice and dry. Nice in the summertime. He took it from the billiard room. That's right, he took it from the billiard room,

so it's all blue chalk. So you look like Dr. Manhattan. Yes. And are you new, Doug? Am I correct in assuming that? Oh God, I knew it was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's free solo time.

It's free. Yeah. No. No. I'm doing this the right way. Do you think that should replace free balling as, as free balling replaced going commando? He's now gonna wanna sing it.

He's gonna sing the Tom Petty song. Free. Yep, there you go. Ooh. Oh, that's. Oh, that was... There it is. That's better. That's better. So then you have... Oh, we're back on...

In the center, which is the middle finger. That's right. You're basically getting the middle finger, which I believe serves as the cat ears, but you don't want cat ears. No. Okay. I didn't name it. Some person who lives in Alaska named it. You're basically getting the middle finger, which I believe serves as the cat ears, but you don't want cat ears. No. Okay, I didn't name it. Some person who lives in Alaska named it. Oh, that's what it is? It's in Alaska.

Why don't they just secede? They're one of those places, you know what I mean? They're like, we're different. I don't have an opinion on Alaska. Just be your own country, you weirdos. The opinions of Alaska that Bert has do not reflect the opinions of the podcast. I think they do though.

I'm comfortable putting that on the podcast. What, babe? All that aside, welcome to the Neighborhood Listen. This is the podcast that looks at the neighborhood of Dignity Falls. I am one of your hosts. My name is Bernd Miapete. I'm a pharmacist here at Dignity Falls.

Not a climbing pharmacist. Not a climbing pharmacist. My feet are firmly on the ground. That's right. And with me as always is. Joan Pedestrian, I am the top realtor here at Dignity Falls. Not a climbing pharmacist. Not a climbing pharmacist. My feet are firmly on the ground. That's right. And with me as always is Joan Pedestrian. I am the top realtor here in Dignity Falls. And leading amateur thespian. Now leading amateur thespian. Well of course you are. I've got to upgrade. Joan, you're the, you're the, everyone knows you're the star. Oh my gosh. I don't know about that. It's been a minute. I had to take a break, you know? Yes. You had a little sabbatical. I had a little sabbatical. So I was trying to do my one woman Hamlet,

which I called Herlet, and then I decided it needs to be a musical. And I just been struggling with the songs. Ever since you told me that there was an episode of- Gilegans Island got there first. No, not Gidget's Island. Gidget's Island. Gilegans Island that did a lot of songs,

but they were all to the tune of Gilbert and Sullivan songs because they were probably, what's it called? Free domain. They were not public domain. There were some classicals in there. I don't think they were young and Sullivan. Oh yeah, they were Carmen. That's right. That's right. So I don't know. And then I've just been so busy with Matt and Pillsbury and their Chick-fil-A pilot and about pranking your parents. How's that going by the way? Well, they're still in post and they liked it. They think they, they're like,

Oh, we're like you mom. After we had kids, I'm like, that's not, that's postpartum. This is not the same thing. Okay. But they're still in post and they liked it they think they they're like, oh we're like you mom after we had kids I'm like, that's not that's postpartum. This is not the same thing Okay, but they're like with the truck that the shows our child is our baby And I'm not very depressed They do have post-production depression and anxiety depression and anxiety. And I make them fill out a questionnaire every time they hang out with me about how often they sleep and how often they cry. How often do they cry? You know what?

I have hardly ever seen them cry. The last time I saw them cry was when I told them we had to leave back draft. So it's been a while. So yeah, I've just been busy trying to take care of them, you know, and they're all backed up because they've been eating Chick-fil-A nonstop for like three months. Because it's free, right?

It's provided by the production. It's not, remember? What? No, I obviously don't. No, Doug had said, you mentioned it a little while ago, they're not paying for it, but they think they just feel that they have to go. They feel obligated.

They feel obligated. As company men, they should eat Chick-fil-A. That's right. Chick-men. Chick-men. Well, up there on Madison Avenue. That's right. So yeah, that's just what's been going on.

I'm just sort of like, I don't know, it's like a second childhood almost that they're going through right now. So I'm just trying to be there for them. Cause like I said, this is the most they've ever seen something through. This is the most they've ever, This wasn't a fire. This is the least they've ever seen something through. This is the most they've ever, this is the least they've ever set something on fire.

Yeah. I just don't want to, I want to support them, you know. Well, you're a good mom. Well, thank you. Yeah. And that's very, that's, I like hearing that and, you know, I'm happy for the boys. Yeah, me too. We'll see how it goes. We'll see how it goes. Yeah. I've heard from what I hear, this Chick-fil-A streaming service is going to be huge. Really? That's what you've heard?

I've heard it's going to take over everything. Who have you heard this from? Who haven't I heard it from? That is answering a question with a question. I heard it from the Gangbusters. They were in town recently. Yes, yes. They're a group that huddles on the corner and just sort of spreads.

Well, we sometimes I think it's rumors, but they just, they get sort of, they get conversation going and they're traveling conversation, get goingers. I think it's, it can be, it can be good and it can be bad. I tried using them for my, my ago, for my one woman show. To just spread the word about the show. That's right. And, but it got all distorted. Like, you know, like a game of telephone

is bad game of telephone. That's the downfall. And instead of like some trying to say like, oh, her shows, her, you know, her show, she killed it on stage. And then it turned into like, I killed someone on stage. And then everyone in the neighboring town of New Barn started talking about it.

I know. In their weird, try to spread whisper campaigns like the Game of Thrones guy. and everyone in the neighboring town of New Barn started talking about it. I know. And they're weird. Try to spread whisper campaigns like the Game of Thrones guy. Who did that? Who did that? The Game of Thrones? Varys?

Oh yeah, Varys, the spider. The little bald spider. The little Pete. I think little Pete was cut from the series. Little Pete. Little Pete. What was his name? His name was not Little Pete.

You were talking about the character Peter Dinklage played? No. Oh my gosh. Thank God. Wow. Little finger. Little finger.

Little finger. Oh, little finger. Little Pete. Little Pete. God. I really do wish now there was a character in Game of Thrones named Little Pete. He sounds like the least problematic character

and like sort of the really fun comic relief, you know? Hey, did you hear Tywin Lannister? He got shot on the toilet. You didn't hear that from me, Little Pete. Little Pete. Little Pete. Little Pete. Wow. Oh boy. All right. Well, how long have we been talking already?

It's been a while. I think we should probably take a break. I think we probably should. Doug, how long have we been going? Oh boy. Here we go. He's got to rappel down. I know exactly.

It's been 21, 25. Perfect. Oh, that's exactly perfect. If mankind is still alive. All right. We're going to, it's a reference to a song. We're going to take a break and when All right, we're going to, it's a reference to a song. We're going to take a break and when we return,

we'll have a guest. More with the Neighborhood Listen after this. Well, hello. Oh, and hi, Paul. Oh, hi. I didn't see you there. Oh, you didn't? Everyone's right here. I'm doing a one man show.

Can I just interrupt really quickly? Yeah, absolutely. It's not going well. Thanks, everyone. Not a lot of people here. No. It's also at your home, which is strange. Yeah, well, I'm one man and this is my one home.

Great premise. Thank you. Here is something that I'm really looking forward to as the weather turns cooler. This is what I had to come over to tell you. Yes, thank you. I'm looking forward to football games, pumpkin spice lattes. Wait a minute. I see where this is headed.

Oh, you do. You say it though, but I know what it is. Cause it's gonna be sweater weather. Yeah. Yeah, so it's time for a cozy sweater from Quince. That's right. Because Quince, as I know, is known for their Mongolian cashmere sweaters from $50.

So nice. Nicole, it's not just that. Uh-huh. All Quinn's items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands, and that includes beautiful leather jackets. I bet even the ugly ones are a good price. I don't think they have anything that's ugly.

That's right, other places do. Cotton cardigans, soft denim, and so much more. How are they able to do that, you might ask? You and other people, you, Paul, and everyone else. I was going to ask it, and you actually took the words right out of my mouth. Well, Aston answered, my friend, because it's by partnering directly with top factories

and cutting out the cost of the middleman, which passes the savings on to us, and Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices, and of course, premium fabrics and finishes for that luxury feel in every piece. I despise the middleman.

I knew you were gonna say that somehow. Let me tell you something. I have a quint sweater, and it is cozy as a hail. It's comfortable, and I like the way that it looks. You know it's cozy when it affects your accent. Yeah. That you have to say as hail. Yeah.

I have a pair of glasses that I love and definitely want to get some more because they're very, very beautiful. Yeah. And I need some more. And also I got my child some incredible pants that were so comfortable that I'm going to have to get some for me as well.

Wait, you're also wearing them? No, that would be, I'd never fit into them. He has communicated to you that they're comfortable. Yes, well, he certainly hasn't complained. From a kid, that's a rave. 100%. Yes, if they're not complaining, they like it. So why don't you get Cozy and Quince's

high quality wardrobe essentials? Go to quince.com slash TNL for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash TNL to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince dot com slash t-n-l. Well done. Thank you. For only $100, it could be yours.

An elegant, elegant dress. It was worn only once for an event. I can send a video in mess of how it sits on the body. Size medium slash large. Elegance and elegance both are waiting for you when you try on this dress, which maybe doesn't look so elagant or elegant in the photo. But once you put it on, you will see. You'll see how it sits on your body. I can send you a video in mess. Elagant.

Elegant. Dress. And welcome back to the Neighborhood Listen. That was a good one, Bert. Thank you, Joan. Jumped out of me seat. And jumped out of me seat. I jumped out of me seat.

It's Libby, just Pete. Oh, I could barely say me seat. Yeah, and his accent would change. That would be the fun thing about it. Yes. That's right, he didn't always, he was a, he's a shapeshifter. A vocal shapeshifter. Yeah, vocal shapeshifter.

He looks the same every time. Yes. All right, now we have, as we always do, we have a guest here at the Kitchen Island with us. The way the show works is we scour the NeighborHap, the social networking application for neighborhoods, and we look for interesting neighbors to talk to. Somebody's posted something that we think deserves more attention, or if they contact us and say, I need to talk about this, we put them on. And if you see a post that perhaps we've overlooked on

the Neighborhap, feel free to screenshot it and send it to us at bernandjohn at gmail.com. And this is a submission from a listener. This is submitted by someone named Reese Kimmit. Thank you, Reese. And this is a post in the crime and safety section from someone named Glenn. An unusual assault this morning around 8.35 to 8.40 a.m. So five minute window.

A friend and I were having a coffee in Dignity Park sitting on benches at the north side, directly east of the basketball court, and infrequently used chess table. Bit of commentary there. A male, about 5'7", wearing a gray cap and a long sleeve pucker knit navy blue jersey. Oh, okay.

That's... Oh. Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me. Pardon me. Pucker, Pucker, Davey, blue jersey, walked toward us coming from the courts. He hewed rather close to the bench, biblical talk, and to us. And when he was close enough, I'm supposed to be cleaved.

And when he was close enough to me, he feigned a fall right into my lap and he crushed a raw egg onto my right thigh smearing my trousers he got up and said sorry sorry a little taken aback and not wanting to escalate I said it's okay it's okay and he stood up looked me directly in the eye and said rather pointedly I know it's okay he then then walked off, exited the park and walked westward on President Street. Because I'm a narc, I called the cops and gave them an account. If you see an individual wearing long sleeves on this hot day in Dignity Falls,

give them a wide berth maybe. And here to discuss this experience in detail, if there is more detail to be learned. I know it was very detailed and chilling I might add. It was chilling on this hot day. Glenn, welcome. Hello, thank you for coming. How are you?

I'm fantastic. Thank you for having me. Of course I want to say you both look fantastic. Everybody looks really kind. Oh, thank you Glenn. That's really nice. Glenn's very kind of you. I don't know that we've ever been complimented like that.

Ever. Ever in our lives. Joan, you're telling me that you're not getting compliments all the time? Oh, he's looking right into my eyes and I am blushing. You're a little flushed, yes. I'm a little flushed. Wow.

I don't know what to ask. Wow. Thank you, I mean thank you. What did he say? I can't. He said wow. Oh, wow, wow back. Sometimes that's all you need.

Oh, I- So true, Glenn. I agree. So true. And I'm not, before we move on, I just want to say, I don't know who it is in here that smells of, what is that? Cardamom and maybe like a tobacco.

It's very swarthy. I'm looking over at you, Byrne. Is that you? I think it's Byrne. It might be. I did dab a little bit of a candle under my arms before I came here. I'm catching it. Yeah.

I'm glad. I'm glad. I'm glad it's pleasant. Yeah. All right. Because it's an experimental thing I'm doing. I'm catching it. Yeah, well I'm glad, I'm glad. I'm glad it's pleasant. Yeah, all right. It's an experimental thing I'm doing. Oh, okay. And just a dab? I light the candle, I blow it out after it's a little pool of wax has formed.

And then just a little quick dab. Oh really? Wow, you've got wax under your arms. Yeah. Okay. Just melting against your skin. Well it stays there longer. Okay.

I suppose when it melts, that's when it really emits the smell. Yes, and there's some concern about it absorbing into my skin. Sure. it stays there longer. I suppose when it melts, that's when it really emits the smell. Yes. And there's some concern about it absorbing into my skin. Sure. I don't know what that could do. Sure. But who cares?

Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? The effect is magnetic. How bad could it be? Thank you. Well, thank you very much. Glenn, can I ask a question?

And now, because we heard from you kind of like this morning, I'm just wondering, did this event happen this morning or is this in reference to something that happened recently? And we bumped a guest to have you on. We did, because you were, I mean listen, you wrote a very beautiful email to me and I said to Bernd, I think we should have this guy on,

but so let us know what the time, the table is, what's the timeframe? This was exactly one week ago. Okay, it was one week ago, all right. Exactly one week ago. To the day. To week ago. All right. Exactly one week ago. To the day. To the day. To the day.

So it's an anniversary of sorts. Oh, happy anniversary. Oh, thank you so much. I don't know, is it? I mean, this sounds very scary. You know what? It was. It was very scary.

Thank you for appreciating that. You're welcome. I was terrified in the moment. Sure. You were, yeah. It's a very strange sort of... It is an unusual assault, as you said. An unusual assault.

He had to be walking with that egg. Yes. This had to have been, he had to have intent to egg. Yes. Yeah. Who is just bounding about town with raw eggs in their pantaloons? It wouldn't be me. Right.

And can you describe for us maybe just because it sticks in the brain, a pucker knit jacket? Yes. A sweater? What does that mean? Yes. maybe just because it sticks in the brain, a pucker knit jacket, a sweater. What does that mean? A pucker knit jersey. Yes, so what a pucker knit jersey is, is a jersey where the pectoral area is scrunched. Scrunched.

Scrunched in the center in order to give the illusion of pectoral muscles. It's like, you know those viral TikTok leggings that were all the rage? Oh yes, yes. Everybody in Dignity Falls was wearing them. Everybody was wearing them. These were the ones, they were sort of a slim good body

thing where it mimicked the, you could see like the muscles and the sinews. Oh yeah, they were very tight. Yeah, absolutely. They really, everyone seemed to like that. It firmed up and gave you a great shape and back. But it did look like you had been stripped of your outer flesh. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

From the waist down. Yes, very, very visible man. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fantastic. So it's like that or what do you mean? Can you excuse me? It is.

Oh, hang on. That's Doug our engineer. You can't see him, but he's in another room. Oh, okay. He can hear us. Just calling and It is. Oh, hang on. That's Doug our interviewer. You can't see him, but he's in another room. Oh, okay. He can hear us. Just calling an excuse me. Oh, calling an excuse me. Puckin' it, Jersey.

Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, that must be... Puckin' it, Jersey. Doug called an excuse me so he could interject his Weird Al version of Paperback Writer by the Beatles. Oh, okay. That's what that was. Doug, I don't know if that's appropriate.

We are talking to it. Are those the notes? I'm not sure they were. No, they were close. They were? They were very close. Close enough. Really a horseshoes version. Was that the one you were doing, babe?

Oh yeah. Oh, okay. Spot on. Oh yeah, with the bullet. That was delightful, but I think that's more of a thing you do to interrupt me and Joan, as opposed to interrupting our guests. Yeah, let's not interrupt Glenn,

especially because he might've been about to compliment me again. You know what, Doug? You miss all the shots you don't take. That's right, Glenn. So, you know, you're not going to get any blowback from me. And as proof, some that you do. Uh-huh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You will miss some of the shots for sure. C'est la vie. That's the unfortunate other side of that saying. Yes, people don't ever talk about that. No one's talking about the missed shots. That's not on a pillow. That's not on a pillow somewhere.

It's going to come up eventually. Yeah, it's going to happen. A lot of shots missed there, boss. Yeah. But you did take them. And that's what matters. You took them and you know what? Take fewer.

How about that? I love it. You did take them. And that's what matters. You took them, and you know what? Take fewer. You know? How about that? I love it. So Glenn, what did your friend, you were with a friend having coffee. Oh, right. Who is this person? I was sitting there with my friend Brian Jones. Okay.

And we were having our regular morning discussion. Oh, this is a habit for you. Every morning we like to get together and have a conversation, a tournament of sorts. Oh, wow. Say more. So each month we pick more. We pick the tournaments. King?

Oh, I see what you're doing there. All right. So every month we pick a thing and then that thing will just, we'll have a conversation and then something will win. So that month it was members of the X-Men you would most want to get drunk with. Wow. And you each are what, debating, you're making your argument for one?

Right, and so that particular morning a week ago, it was Colossus versus Wolverine. Who, with whom would you rather get drunk? Who would you rather get drunk with? Remind me of who Colossus is, I'm sorry. I know I have twin boys, I should know them all, but I don't remember. Don't worry about it.

You are making me feel so good about this. You know, you did the opposite of what everyone else says, which is, oh my God, you're known a colossal. And instead you're leaning in. You're giving me grace. I really appreciate this. Well, how could I expect you as busy as you are? Oh my gosh. I can't. This is... Doug, I hope you're taking notes. Strike one, pal. I would know you're fine. I think you should're taking notes. Strike one, pal. Oh, is that? I would know. You're fine. I think you should be taking notes, babe.

All right. So, um. Strike one, Doug. We're talking about our second class. Strike two for me. Because strike two for my thoughts and strike one for my actions. Oh, I'm losing track of all the strikes. Okay.

So, Colossus. Colossus. Yes, Colossus. Piotr Rasputin, he's Russian. Got it. Okay, and his power is that he turns his body into steel. Okay, thank you for that. So if you've ever seen a guy turn into steel in an X-Men thing, that's Colossus.

If you've ever seen that, walking down the street. That's Colossus. And then Wolverine, everybody knows. Well, of course everybody knows. So now who did you choose? Colossus. You choose Colossus, and what was your reasoning? Wolverine, everybody knows. Well, of course everybody knows. So now who did you choose? Colossus. You choose Colossus. And what was your reasoning? Wolverine will kill you.

Oh, if he's drunk? Oh, he will kill you. Well, you know, Wolverine has got hundreds of years of trauma built into his little body. That's right. And then he gets drunk and doesn't really handle it well. And he also has claws sticking out of the back of his hand. So I say, why don't we drink

with the protective poet artist? Oh, he's a poet too? I didn't know. He's a sensitive soul. Oh, that's nice. That's nice. Like you too. Belize is very powerful.

That's why you're picking him. If I may, I don't know if Brian made this point. Sure. Wolverine, of course, has a mutant healing factor. Absolutely. That's his thing that he was born with. Right. Everything else, they, of course, they tampered with his skeleton. his skeleton. Well, to be fair, let me just stop you there.

They did not give him claws. They actually coated his bone claws with adamantium. Oh, he had bone claws. Yeah, you, we learned this in the Fatal Attraction storyline where Magneto ripped the the adamantium out of Wolverine's body. Oh, terrible, terrible, terrible. He got it body. Oh, terrible, terrible, terrible. He got it back. Oh, good for him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did he want it back?

He didn't, but apocalypse turned him into an engine of death and he was like, the bones ain't working. But now he also, so he has the mutant healing factor. He does have the mutant healing factor. Wouldn't that prevent him from getting Trump? It makes it very difficult, but still. Oh, I didn't even think about that. You gotta really hammer that thing. You have to drink so much in such a short amount of time. Yes, yes, difficult, but still. Oh, I didn't even think about that. You really hammer, you gotta really hammer that thing.

You have to drink so much in such a short amount of time. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. It's like doing that, when you're doing that a shot of beer a minute thing. If you're like that. Power hour. Yeah, oh. Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho.

We should do that when we're done with this. That would be kind of fun. You know, it's been a while. That would be great. I wouldn't mind doing it again. I'll take it back to my college days. Do you do the one where you have to do a shot of tequila

every 10 minutes? Oh, no. Why was that folded in? Guess who came up with that? The person who secretly was an alcoholic. Of course, of course. OK, so now. Everybody else was fine.

And he said, you know what? Fuck it, guys. Shot of tequila on the 10s. Shout out to Kila on the tens. We always did it where at the end of the hour you get a big glass of the Martinelli's apple cider. Almost as a reward. How big for surviving? It's just so delicious. Almost as a reward.

Well, what we need to get back to is how we got egged. First of all, I want to know, did you get the egg stain out of your pants? Well, no, we never got to ask my question. Oh, I'm sorry. What was your question? Did Brian make the point of... What was Brian's reaction to all this? Okay, so the guy, he falls in such a conspicuous way, almost as if he had done it before.

Oh, yes, yes. You know? Yes. Where you could see him getting closer to us and it felt like he was going to ask us like, like, hey, are you, are you voting? And then I'm like, it's 830 in the morning. Don't do this. Yes. You know?

Yeah, absolutely. But no. It was sort of inviting and like he was going to ask a question. It felt like it because he was too close to where we were sitting to not be approaching us. To not say something. Who wants to deal with this between 835 and 841? Especially when you're having a tournament of a conversation. And ideas.

Of ideas, yes. Not the time. Not the time. Sitting with our coffees. Are you in the same place? Is it the same location every single week? Same bench? Yes. Same bench? Okay.

I like that. I like it too. Yes. Right. But Same bench? Yes. Same bench? Okay. I like that. I like it too. If we can, yes. Right. But you had never seen this individual before? Never. That is interesting to me. Terrifying. Yes. Absolutely.

I see all the same. We see all the same people every week. All the same people. So when a new person comes in, it's alarming. Oh, you see all the same walkers, the OGs. Can you give us some of the OGs? Oh, okay. So, you know Laura and her sister, Jeanette. Yes. Oh, I have heard of them. The Clark sisters, Laura and Jeanette Clark, they love to walk.

They're doing great too. Jeanette just got her hip replaced. She's moving great. They have psoriasis on opposite arms. Yes, that is so bizarre. It's the only way you can tell them apart. That's right. They are a perfect match. And they know when you're doing it too. If it's summer and you look down.

You can't look at that. They will wear sweaters to fit with you. Yes, and if you have a problem immediately differentiating right from left when you're looking at the opposite, you can look at the opposite. You can't look at that. You can't look at that. You can't look at that. You can't look at that.

You can't look at that. You can't look at that. You can't look at that. You can't look at that. You can't look at that. You can't look at that. You can't look at that. You can't look at that. You can't look at that. You can't look at that. They will wear sweaters to mess with you. Yeah, that's right. And if you have a problem, like immediately differentiating right from left

when you're looking at the opposite, boy, they'll catch you. Oh yeah. They say, gotcha. Yeah. So you've got the Clark sisters, who else? Okay, the Clark sisters, there's the early morning skateboarders.

Oh. So I don't know if a lot of people realize this, but in Dignity Falls, there's a group of dads who skateboard. Oh, yes I don't know if a lot of people realize this, but in dignity falls, there's a group of dads who skateboard. Oh, yes. Yes. Yes, but they they they do it so early so as to not be Razzed by any teens that may wake up around 11. Absolutely. And their wives definitely don't know they get up before they wake up I know every if you see them they make you promise not to tell their wives. They call themselves the slap daddies. Barely executing a single ollie out there. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha to get hurt. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We've all called 911 for this.

Oh, for sure. At some point. Yeah. Get some merch. Okay. So is there anyone else that you, you, you, you like to sort of always see? It makes you feel sort of like all is right in the world. Oh, Carolyn Rick, Carolyn Rick, they just had triplets. Oh yes, that's right. The Rick triplets. Yes.

Oh man. The Ricklets? Yes. Ricklets. Well, that's what their handle is on Instagram because she's making so much money off of just- Rick and Carol Rick, they had triplets. Rick and Carol Rick. Yeah. Yeah. The Ricklets. Yeah. Richard Rick. I don't know why he wants to go by Rick, but I love it. Rick

Rick is pretty sweet. I sort of admire it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's leaning hard as opposed to having to avoid that all your life. Yeah. They're going to do that. They're going to do it anyway. And then of course it's where they're where they're very, very popular on Instagram. I've got to follow those kids. Yeah, for sure. Do you remember when he put a single Kaiser roll on everybody's doorstep one Halloween with a note that said you've been Rick Rick rolled? You know what the scary thing was? Was that he put the paper on the inside and I was like, don't touch this. I took a bite. You knew and you did it.

Of course Doug did. Doug. I coughed up the paper and then got an egg on my face. Oh, you didn't make sandwich? And thank you for that segue back to Glenn's pants. Oh, correct. So you said you didn't get the stain out? No.

Wow. Well, you know what? I didn't want to destroy the evidence. Oh, for what? Like Monica Lewinsky. Did you bring them what? I didn't want to destroy the evidence. Ah. Oh, for what? Like Monica Lewinsky. Did you bring them in? Exactly.

So what, did you? I said that, and Brian was like, gross. And I was like, sir, it's exactly the same thing. It's a perfect comparison. It is nearly perfect. It's the same thing. I was like, don't touch it. Nearly identical.

So then what have you done with these pants? Have you take, are you going to take legal action? What's happening? I'm going to tell you something. Oh, boy, he's leaning in again. He is so close to my face. It is very strange. So then what have you done with these pants? Have you take, are you going to take legal action? What's happening? I'm going to tell you something. Oh boy, he's leaning in again. He is so close to my face. It's very strange.

Is it important that the, that the egg incident happened? Yes. Okay. Is it important that I lost one of my favorite pair of trousers? Yes. Okay. But let me tell you something.

This event transformed me. Oh wow. This man looked at us. well, he looked at me. Okay. And he looked at me right in my eyes and he said, I know it's okay. Yeah, that part was really, that's the part that was chilling.

Absolutely. And, whoo, even now I get emotional just thinking about it. Oh, are you okay? Do you need a minute? You know, let me just take a deep breath. Okay. There was also that time? Do you need a minute? You know, let me just take a deep breath. Okay. There was also that time that, you know, for Halloween,

he made, like Rick made a sort of like little cart to tear the triplets and call it a Rick Rickshaw. Oh, that was cute though. Okay, how are you feeling better now? A little bit of appropriation, but it was very- I agree. I was like, I don't know if y'all can do that. It was not good.

I don't know if y'all can do that. People were upset. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The accent was unnaturally- Oh my God, I was shocked he did that. Do you remember the other Halloween where he dressed up as a mongoose and he was Ricky Ricky Tiki Tavi? Yeah.

I agree. And he just scared at me and walked away. Well, because he knew you were right. And he knew that he had just, he hadn't thought it through. Yeah. Well. Oh, you know, one time he said he was gonna just go around and say, oh, I'm gonna go around and do this.

And he was like, oh, I'm gonna do that. And he was like, oh, I'm gonna do that. And he was like, oh, I'm gonna do that. And he was like, oh, I'm gonna do that. And he was like, oh, I'm gonna do that. And he was like, oh, I'm gonna do that. And he was like, oh, I'm gonna do that. And he was like, oh, I'm gonna do that. And he was like, oh and walked away. Well, because he knew you were right. And he knew that he had just, he hadn't thought it through. Yeah. Well, you know, one time he said he was going to just go around spouting conspiracy theories and go as Ricky Schroder.

And I was like, no one's going to tell the difference. No, no. No one's going to tell the difference, bro. Also, he bears a striking resemblance to Ricky Schroder. Yes, he looks a lot like Ricky. Very strange. He looks too close. Not even, no effort.

No effort in that. No effort. No effort. No effort. No effort. Oh, okay. So, so you're talking about how this moment really got to you. Yes. So then go on.

Okay. So the, the, the thought of this man who clearly egged me on purpose. Absolutely. To say, I know it's okay. Yeah. As I'm trying to tell him that it's okay, as he's apologizing to me. Yes.

And I thought, yeah, yeah, it is okay. I'm okay. Okay. I can do what I wanna do, right? If this guy can just get up in the morning and egg people's pants. So you know what I started doing? Oh, this is going a different way than I thought.

Okay, go on. I started doing all of the things that I wouldn't do. Oh, wow. Wow. Wow. And that's the podcast we call us such as, which is providing examples. So what are some of those?

Yeah, we gotta call us such as. Oh, okay, okay. So you know how the Dairy Queen that's over there on Bill Clinton F. And it's K-W-E-E-N. Yes. Not affiliated. Not affiliated.

That's our town. Hey Dairy Queen! I love it there. Yes. It's fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fun. It's a great place.

It's a great place. It's a great place. So there, you know how the ballet, the adult ballet, the ballet, the ballet, the ballet, I love it there. Yes. It's fun. Yeah, it's a great place. It's a great place. It's a great place. So there, you know how the ballet, the adult ballet class loves to go there and get Sundays after class. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And the instructors hate that.

Yes. And please stop eating Sundays every week. They think it's counterproductive, but I say, hey, you're an adult doing ballet, live your life. Do what you want. Live your life. You already are. I'm trying to be like you, right? Okay, so you go over to Dairy Queen.

And I walked up to Joanne Williams. Oh. Yeah. The Bo Derek of Dignity Falls. Oh, she's got those cornrows. Oh, god. Which I keep telling her, it was a time, ma'am. It's not, it's not.

But not anymore. It's not right. It's not, it's not. But not anymore. It's not right. It's not doing what you're thinking. I know. With the beads, I'm like, it's not doing what you think it's doing. But I don't care. Yeah.

I don't care. You went up to Joanne. And I said, look, I don't know if anything could be as sweet as Dairy Queen, but you're pretty close. And then you know what I did, but you're pretty close. And then you know what I did, Bert? I fucking left.

What? You just said that and walked out. That's right. Just like the Eggman. Just like, because you know it's okay. That's what I call him. You call him the Eggman. I know it's okay.

You call him the Eggman. I know that's gonna say Bert. Joan took it from me. I'm sorry. I knew that would say Doug. That's two Joan, Bert. You could sing it. Oh you can.

Coo coo coo choo. Just that one part. There you go. Bert only sings on one note. He can do several songs though, Barbara. And Keys on Ben Eyes. Keys on Ben Eyes. That's right.

That's actually, that's a better version. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. Oh, okay. I thought that was going a different direction. Then you, I thought we were doing Blue Moon. Oh yes. It is what it is. That's what you can do.

The same song. It is the same song. What a tragedy. Just different sounds. Ba with the ba. Oh man, I thought that was so original. I got to put together a medley. Oh, I definitely.

I'm doing a medley of all the songs I've been singing. We're definitely going to do that. Some of them are fortunately just parts of songs. They really are. I mean, in some cases, three notes. The best parts. The parts we all cherish. So wait, I am kind of obsessed with this because it's not, first of all, you took me on a journey

and again, he looked deep in my eyes when he told that story. And so he said this amazing thing to Joanne, and then he just turned tail and left. He just turned on his heels, walked away. She was probably, I mean, her ice cream probably melted in a second right then. I'll tell you what. Yeah, absolutely.

And so, and what did that do for you? If you looked at her the way you looked at us just now, I'm sure. Oh, you think? Yeah. I can't even, Glenn, it's even hard to look at you because I feel like I'm being hypnotized.

You know what it is? It's magnetic and it's like he's looking into your soul. Yes, exactly. You can't look away. It's like a tractor beam. It's very intimate. Yeah. It really is. I'm hoping.

This is what it's like to be- Why are you hoping? What does that mean? You know why? Because before the accident, as I'm also called. Oh, absolutely. Also good. No, as I'm also called. Oh, absolutely. Also good.

Absolutely. I think I was too worried about what other people thought. Oh, I understand that. I hear that. I'm gonna come in here and be intense. I overstand that, as the kids say. Yeah, that's right. Is that what they say?

I think so. They say I overstand. I feel like that's one that comes and goes. Is it? I feel like a generation will discover it somehow and they're like, ah, yes. And then it's out. Then it peters out and then somebody brings it back.

Then someone finds it back. You know what would be different than understanding? Overstanding. Overstanding. That's what people do when they say it. Yeah, you know what's back? Bomb. Is it really?

Bomb is back. That's exciting. A young person said to me, yeah, yeah, those, those shoes are bomb. He wasn't talking about my shoes. He's talking about somebody else's shoes. But that's what he said. It doesn't mean anything different. It means the same thing. It still means that something is really good. Remember that? No, I barely do. It's back. Do you think we'll get swell back at any point? We should. That's two gasps. That's a lovely one. That's my second gasp.

That's gas number two. Oh boy. That's a couple strikes and a couple gasps. We wanna hear certain words. Words like swell. Swell. I'll tell you what. So is your old man.

I felt pretty swell walking away from that dairy corn. Now did you do another thing just like this? Can you give us another example? Absolutely. Another example? I don't know if that's what you call them now. You know what? Maybe they are. I think they're examples of my new excellence.

Yes. Okay. I returned some overdue books at the library. Right. Okay. And harsh penalties over there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A dime a day. That's why there's only there's only about a dozen books in the library because people are too scared to bring them back.

And if you don't bring them back, it's that dime a day and it's a public shaming. Yeah, it is a public shaming. You walk through the streets. Oh yeah, Gladys rings that bell. She does, yes she does. It's the only time she does. Oh, it's horrible.

You have to read the whole book. When you hear it coming down the street, like, oh no, somebody else. Who returned their books? But I think the fatal flaw in the Dignity Falls library is there's no library cards, so you have no record of who took the book out. Then you could just let me define-

Gladys says she doesn't remember. Gladys says she knows. Gladys doesn't remember anymore. She doesn't know. No, she doesn't know. Sometimes I just leave the books back on the shelf. She doesn't know. But this time I was like, I'm gonna face her.

Oh, okay, good for you. I'm gonna face her. People are so afraid of her. She's terrifying. You know what, is she? Well, you, apparently not to face her. Oh, okay. Good for you. People are so afraid of her. She's terrifying. You know what? Is she? Nope. Well, you apparently not to you now. So tell us what happened. I have looked into the darkness of my own spirit.

Oh Lord. And you know what I found? I found that eggs can break, but I cannot. Think about that. Wow. Wow. Shout outs to the egg men. That's real. Wherever they are.

Go ahead, babe. I won't take it from the center. So in a way, you are the Eggman. Ah! Ah! Oh. Oh, I just fell. What?

Are you OK, Doug? Are you all right? He free solo climbing in there, Glenn, just so you know. Oh my goodness. He's fully naked. That sounded terrible. Are you OK? I actually think it didn't sound like such a bad fall if you say, I just fell.

That was only one cranny. It was also, it sounded like a very spongy fall if I could just say. It did. There was something about it that felt foamy. Yes, very foamy. So now, I'm foaming at the mouth a little bit. Quit to the mat. You went up to Gladys. Yeah. So now, I'm foaming at the mouth a little bit. You went up to Gladys.

Yeah. And I said, Hey, I had these for too long. Oh, they're back. And then you know what I did? Oh, what? I fucking walked over. Did you drop the books? Like, like a mic? Yeah, a mic drop, book drop.

Book drop. But not the kind that we think of normally. It's not actually returning them in the book drop. It's dropping the books in front of Gladys. Yeah, and it was very loud. No, I bet. Very, very big cookbooks that I did not look. I didn't even get through them. She keeps it quiet in there.

She's got the soundproofing up on the walls. Oh yeah, she hates that. Wham, wham. She dropped them one at a time. Wow. To emphasize it. Did people applaud you as you walked out? You know what?

There was no one in there. No. There are no books. She didn't sprint after you? You know what? There was no one in there. She didn't sprint after you know what? I heard she can run up to 30 miles an hour. She very quickly got from around that desk and started ringing that bell. Wow. I was like, I'm proud. You know, I was like, yes, that's right. That's right. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh the scarlet egg. Now did it? Did I have a couple questions? Sure. I guess first of all what has this changed? I also have one question. You asked your questions then I have a question for you.

Turned it back around on me. The abyss gazes back. Has it changed your morning sessions with Brian? No. Good question. What was your morning session like? You only had one since on the anniversary. How'd it go? Okay, so last week, we, after the the accident, we decided that Wolverine wins. Oh, okay. Okay, we finished our conversation. We decided, you know what? He probably knows a lot of good places to drink and Colossus seems like the kind of guy who would fall in love with some girl halfway through the night. Exactly.

And then he leaves. He's not going to be your wingman. He'd probably be like drinking too much at a Bennegan's like, I never do this. Should we be bad? Meanwhile, he's wearing a small shirt and he's like, oh, I can turn my arms to steel. Then he leaves. Then he leaves. So this morning it is Wolverine versus Storm.

Oh, it's not done yet. I see. Oh, it's a tournament. You're going through a tournament. Oh, it's a tournament. Of course, of course. So a new person battles the previous winner. Got it, got it, got it.

We believe that the best, we believe, we believe that the best person to have, to go get drunk with in the X-Men is Jean Grey. So she's the final, at the end of the best, she'll be the last one. So right now, Wolverine has to get past Storm. Okay. He did not. He didn't. No. Wait, Storm did not get, Wolverine has to get past Storm. Okay. That did not. He didn't. No.

Wait, Storm did not get past Wolverine? Storm is better to get drunk with. I agree. Oh, for sure. I agree. Yeah, I would think so. She's low-key wild as shit. Yeah.

Used to be a pickpocket. She's a straight deal. That's right. That's right. That's right. Changed her hair like 14 times. So, nothing wrong with that. That's a lady after my own heart. Mohawk Storm, please. That's right. That's right. Changed her hair like 14 times. So, nothing wrong with that.

That's a lady after my own heart. Mohawk storm, please. Mohawk storm. Getting into it. That's right. Okay, so then now you, so this, so this is what you just, the conversation is what you just had was that storm wins.

Yes. How does that, so do you feel like if this accident hadn't happened that Wolverine would have continued to win? Is this what you're saying? Is that this changed everything or, or did it change nothing? It's just that you're continuing. So do you feel like if this accident hadn't happened that Wolverine would have continued to win? Is this what you're saying? Is that this changed everything or, or did it change nothing? It's just that it didn't change.

It didn't change that. What it changed was, you know, the conversation would still be the same. I think we were just, I was more sure that it is storm. And I think I've, I've, I've kind of put my foot down and I was like, look, Wolverine won last week. There's no way you get all of the fun of Wolverine with none of the damage. Exactly. You know, also she controls the weather.

So it's always, you could sit outside if you want. Please. No matter what time of the year it is. Can I get a little mist? Yeah. So I'm just like, yeah. Maybe you want to be inside and have it be raining outside. Which is nice.

That's a vibe. It's a real vibe. You're like an English pub. You know what I mean? Or an Irish pub. So I'm just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe you want to be inside and have it be raining outside, which is nice. That's a vibe. It's a real vibe. If you're like an English pub. You know what I mean? Yes. Or an Irish pub. Or an Irish pub.

Feels the same. A Welsh pub. Yeah, okay, I'll do that. You had another question. Well, yeah, and then you had a question. So let's do your other one. My other question was, and this is the sense I'm getting,

do you feel more grateful to this mysterious egg man do-go-go-do than you do upset? Were you upset at first and then you realized I've got a whole new lease on life because of this experience? You know what? The person I'm the most upset with is myself. Oh, I didn't see that coming.

For calling the cops. Oh yeah, that's right. You did call the cops. And what did the cops say? When you said someone smashed an egg on my leg. Yeah. What did they say? You're not going to believe this. They were less than helpful. Oh, yeah. Kidding. Yeah. They said, well, what do you want us to do about it? And I was like, uh, look out for the guy walking around with

pockets full of eggs. He should be in a Navy Pucker knit jersey. Please. I've given you, he's five foot seven. I've given you all of the. Mr. Police. I gave given you, he's five foot seven. I've given you all of the, I gave you all the clues. Where is that sketch artist rendering? I could have done this, right? But that's your job. I don't want to, you know, that's where I've been where I'm not needed. But maybe I am needed in any case. This town needs a hero. Oh, right at me again. When he said that. All right. And then, so then they were not helpful. They said, you can come down and you can fill out a full report.

So I had to go to- I love when they say it like you're, it's a fun thing for you to do. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it's an invitation. Oh, you can come down and fill out a report. I love it down there. You could go do more work for the thing that happened to you.

Don't you know we have free Tootsie Robots? In addition to us doing nothing, why don't you do extra work? Yeah. Come down to where we at. Yeah, you come down. And then you do it. Why don't you put something we can ignore in writing?

We weren't gonna go after him, but then once you filled this out, we were like, we must. That's right. No. So you did that? Did you do that? No, I did.

You didn't, Good for you. No, once I really set the egg. Maybe that was that first moment of sort of, you know, not, not doing what people in charge want you to do. You know what I mean? That first refusal. Being your own person. That's what started you on the path. Yeah, maybe that is it. That's the very first nugget. Yeah. I thought it was wearing those shorts for the rest of the day in the fines, but well, I don't know. Listen, I don't know. I'm not on your journey. Um, but I know you had a question, but this is sort of in reference to the policing because you did say that you save the pants for evidence. So what are you going to do? What does that mean still? Well, for me,

it means evidence that I am new. Okay. So this is just like now it's now a symbol. It is the ripped pants of the Incredible Hulk. That's what I'm saying. You see what I'm saying? Yes, absolutely. You get it. No, I watched that show. Luke Rignot. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that one.

Yeah. That's the one I was referencing. I know. The one we all watched. That's right. With Luke Rignot. I like to, when I think of that, I think of him in those white jeans.

There was an episode where you, David Banner was in. You always remember a very obscure episode of a television show. It's a nice color contrast. You know, with that green and white, you're really pop. It really sets off those thighs. Yeah. Also David does. Thighs like what? Also David Banner. Gross. They were afraid to call him Bruce on television. Can you believe that? I know. Afraid to call the man Bruce? He's a beast.

He's a monster. You can call him whatever. What's the weakest name? And also, Clarence? It can't be Bruce. Yeah, Clarence is pretty red. Clarence is pretty red. Hey, man, who kicked your ass? Clarence. Yeah, call's pretty. Yeah, Clarence is pretty red. Clarence is pretty red. Hey man, who kicked your ass?

Clarence. Yeah, call him something else. Could have turned things around for Clarence's all over the world. Sure, sure, sure. Do you want to do your question now? Do you want to ask your question? Yeah, okay, so this is my question.

Bert. Oh. Who is the X-Man that you would most want to have a drink with? Boy, I mean, I want to make sure I pick one that hasn't been mentioned already. Okay. Because I do kind of agree that ultimately it will be Jean Grey because the drunk prank potential is high.

Absolutely. Oh, it would be like, hey, let's drive to my ex-girlfriend's house and go into her dreams. Yes, yes. You know what I mean? Rude, rude things. Oh, I was saying more like making things levitate. But you were talking about straight telepathic warfare. Yeah. That's where I, that's what I was thinking. As a lady, I have to say, I think you're more right. Let's, let's go over to another ex-girlfriend's house and telepathically

urge her to call me. No? Is that wrong, G? Ethically incorrect? Ah, fair enough. I mean, if it's Dark Phoenix, of course. Dark Phoenix, she'll be down for it. She's nasty. You know what, who I'd most like to drink with, I think, is Nightcrawler.

Nightcrawler. Yeah. Preachy, though. He is preachy, but I bet if we get him drunk, I bet he loosens up. He'll see. Oh, listen. He's a smoocher.

That's the only thing about Nike probably. Is that true? He is a smoocher. He's like a little swashbuckling dude. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now he is a hardcore Catholic, but you know. But he is like one of those guys,

if he gets a few beers in him, he gets very touchy-feely. Oh, he got that tail going. Yeah. He'd be talking about some fraulein, fraulein this, fraulein that. You're. He be talking about some fraud line. He's like, look, fraud line this, fraud line that. You're such a good friend, I love you. Hard arm around the shoulder.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like leaning in too close. Very, very close, covered in a little blue fur. Because he's seeing double at this point, so he needs to like zoom in. Hey, really, you ever teleport? You ever teleport? You want to do it right now?

Hold your breath. Do you have to hold your breath? Yeah, because otherwise you get the brimstone in your nose. That's right. I'm back. I got up to make myself a drink while that was going on. Sure. Um. Jontini?

You know it. Oh, it's been a while since you've had a Jontini. I know. Well, that was necessary. That also involves drinking out of a candle, doesn't it? Yes, it does. Yes. Wax?

Would you like some of the candle? I'm OK? Yes, it does. Yes. Wax? Would you like some of the candle? I'm okay. Okay. I'm all candled up for the day. Yeah, I mean, I can't play this game unless it's like, oh, who do you want to get drunk with more? Phantom of the Opera or Harold Hill, the music man?

Do you know what I mean? That's the game I can play. Would anyone choose Phantom of the Opera? Phantom for sure. Really? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He lives in the sewer. I know, but that's like, he knows how to get into all the spots.

Like, how you getting this far? This club is very alien. Like, oh, my guy. Really? Oh, yeah. He lives in the sewer. I know, but that's why he knows how to get into all the spots. How you getting this far? This club is very alien. Like, oh, my guy, we crawled up through the toilets. You don't know the Phantom? You don't need any passwords with the Phantom.

No, no, no, no. And you got to the outfit is very cool. Absolutely. Yeah, I think Harold Hill will be very angry drunk. Very angry. Oh, do you think so? I think he would be. Yeah.

And let him get on the keys. You get it to like a piano bar. You're like, man, I'm hitting keys real quick. That's right. He plays that organ. The regular crowd. I would love to hear the fan play piano. Oh, what a time that would be. Right.

What a time. What a time. Oh, boy. I that would be. Right? What a time. What a time. Oh boy. Well Glenn, I'll tell you what. You are a singular individual, man. I have learned from you today. You're inspiring. You are inspiring.

Yeah, there's no other way to put it. You're inspiring. You know, like someone could have had this experience and really gotten knocked aside by it or shook and not shaken up and you just- Shoken. You made it into your superpower. Yeah, you could get Shoken. Is that the past tense?

Shaken, shook and Shoken. Shaken, shook and Shoken. Shoken. Shoken not stirred. Yeah, that's how I like it. That's how I like my Jontini. Yeah. So I guess I just want to say thank you

because you've taught me how to look at things a different way. Absolutely. And respond to things a different way. I think there's, you have no choice but to put yourself in that situation, the situation you've been in, and think how would I react?

And for me, it probably just would've ruined my whole day. Yes, yes. You know? I'm agreeing with you. I think it would've ruined your whole day. I agree, it would've ruined your day. It would've ruined your day. You'd be like, I put all this wax on.

Wow, we have a corner. This is great. All right. Doug, what do you think? I won't protest. Okay. But yeah,? I won't protest. But yeah, I really won't protest. Sorry, Doug, I just wanted to get in on that. Go for it, man.

It's a little serotonin job. Now I'm in a mood for a Doug fashioned. Oh, wow. Yes. It's a whiskey. I wanted to put that together, but I got there. It's whiskey, milk, and a little bit of ketchup. I wanted to put that together, but I got there. Yeah, it's whiskey, milk, and a little bit of ketchup. And red vine for a straw.

Yes. Wait, wait. You drink the whiskey through the red vine. Yeah. Doug, that sounds absolutely maniacal. That's my man. He lives on the wild side. Oh my gosh.

Gracious. Wowee. Don't knock it till you try it. Got to have one with your big dog. Well, there you go. You guys can go out for a drink one time. That'd be great. One time. One time. One time. Well, I don't want to make you feel too obligated. Start out just once. You know, you never know how it goes. But it did sound like that was fun. You guys could go out for a drink exactly one time. I didn't want anyone to feel pressured. That's

how many is allowed before it gets crazy. We're blood brothers after that. Oh my goodness. Wow, well Glenn, thank you so much. Yes, thank you. Thank you for the education. Thank you, Brent and Joan. Really amazing to talk to you.

Thank you so much. And as always, we wish you well, you know. We do wish you well, but doesn't sound like you need our wishes. No, I know. But I appreciate the wishes. Thank you. You know, life is a journey and every step is a step.

Oh, wow. That's so true. That's so true. That's so true. No one could have said it better. If life is the journey, then every step is a step. It is. That's how it works.

Yes. Absolutely. Wow. Well, thank you, Glen. And we'll be back with more of The Neighborhood Listen after this. ["The Neighborhood Listen"] Hey everybody. after this. is freedom, wealth is health. I mean, if you need that explained to you, then I know that you're not my friend and you're not in my wealth bracket, okay? But I pass these out to everybody I meet and I start to realize, what am I doing? I should start charging for

it. Otherwise I'm not doing what the shirt's telling me to do. You know what I mean? So $50, get them now, because next week they're gonna be worth 50. Okay? So don't forget, money is freedom. What are all these boxes? What, babe? Yeah, I told you to stay in your room when I was doing my commercial.

What are all these boxes? These are boxes that teach you how to live your life correctly. Oh God, now the dog The dog gets trapped in the boxes! Like you build a fort around it. The dog doesn't the dog is not managing his money right? Okay? I'm sorry babe. T-shirts? Yes money is freedom wealth is health. This is what I always say. What does that mean? It means if you are weak you will die

You know what it just went up to $20. Come get them. Are you happy? Welcome back to The New World. Listen, well, Glenn. Oh my gosh. What a pleasure. Yes, he really was. So often we talk to people and they're frustrating and challenging. Correct. And Glenn was neither of those. And also need help but don't want to accept help. This guy. That's right. These are people we're giving reasonable solutions to. Like really good options.

And they will not accept them. In some cases, yeah. But in this case, he came willing to offer help, or at least provide an example of how you can respond to something in a new unthought of way. Yes, and I hope that we set an example for future guests in the way we received what he was saying to us and didn't try to shoot it down

and make him feel like he was crazy or stupid. We were saying, that's a good idea. Yeah, that's a pat on the back for us. Pat on the back for us. And I hope that that guest provides an example to our future guests, you know? That's right, take a page on Glenn's book everyone. All right, we have time for one more post from Joan.

I believe you have one. This is, well, it's, oh, I realize this is going to be after Halloween. It doesn't matter, does it? Doesn't matter? No. Okay. Because I just think this is kind of funny.

And I feel like the answer to this question is obvious, but this is from Matthew and it's a picture of, it's a little confusing. What you see is a picture of, on the left side, one jack-o-lantern. Right, because it was just Halloween. That's right, because it was just Halloween. One jack-o-lantern and one small white pumpkin

in front of it, not carved. And then on the right, another jack-o-lantern and then an orange smaller pumpkin not carved in front of it. I don't know why. Classic pumpkin. I guess,. I don't like pumpkin. I guess but why I don't know why I'm going to show you the picture in a minute. Okay. But this says my girlfriend and I carved these pumpkins, which is better left or right? This seems like just

the start of a fight. Okay, why would you do this? But you know what you can all we're going to post this on our Instagram and you can decide everyone can decide, babe, you can I'll send it to you so you can take a look at it. Okay, they're just sent to you. All right. So it's one, uh, that seems to be, uh, sort of spooky and he's got downturned eye holes and maybe some teeth holes. And then the other one has hearts for eyes and a big smile.

Is it because we want to guess, I feel like he knows what's going to happen. We want to guess that the girlfriend did the heart eyes because she's a girl. I don't like what this implies. I also want to know why there are two smaller pumpkins in front of them. Why? For scale? I don't know, but you got to put something

next to the smaller pumpkin so I know how big that is. I guess it's just aesthetics. I guess, I've never seen that move before and it bothers me more than anything in this post. Really? Let me take a look at it again. It doesn't make sense. Why are these two small pumpkins in front? What is that? If they were moved in a little closer together, would it seem that they were more decorative? But because they're

placed directly in front that way, it's like purpose. It makes them the pumpkins, the jack-o'-lanterns look like parents. I guess. So is this a baby announcement? Oh, congrats. But which one do you like better? So we'll play the game. We'll play the game that he wants us to play. What would Glenn do? Glenn would say- WWGD. Here's what Glenn would say.

He's lifting up two fingers. I'm better. He's lifting up which East, which and cat ears. Joe, why would you do it? I'm sorry. Why would you do it? I'm sorry. I'm gonna approach this from a Glenn point of view.

Okay, good. I'm gonna say, which is better? I'm better for having seen both of these. Oh, wow. And then I walk away. That and then you walk away. That is a good answer. Thank you.

I think that's the right answer. I think they're both of equal sort of artistry. They're good except for the left one is disturbing because it looks like, what was that movie where the guy goes to talk and then his mouth is all covered up and he can't, you know. Can you hold on one second?

Yes, because I definitely want you to ask Doug. Doug, when Joan said the movie where the guy goes to talk, you immediately said Pinocchio. And what was the process where somebody goes to talk? Yeah. But do you feel that's unique to Pinocchio as a movie? Do you feel like maybe you answered too quickly before you heard the rest of the description? Yeah, I think maybe that one Yeah, I think that's what happened. I Don't know what I'm what I I know but it's like a horror movie Yeah, their mouth turns to sort of like it looks like a heel over. Yeah, it's a heels over with sort of like sinewy

What is that? I know what you mean and I can't think of what movie it is. Me neither. It's sort of like maybe Beel Juice. It's sort of maybe from Hocus Pocus. I don't know. Those are also movies where like people's mouths are bound, but I don't think it's that one. That's right.

But it is, Malevolent is one where people's mouths are stitched up. Oh, is it? You know me, I just hate scary movies. I just can't do them. So that's why I don't like the left one. I'm glad it looks, you know what? Here's a more positive spin. Okay.

It sort of looks like a harmonica. Yes. Harmonica mouth. Listen for every time, every time he breathed. That would be a good hell raiser guy. You have pinhead, you have blobby. What was his name? I can't remember. I used to know all their names. I love the one with the sunglasses. That's the one I think of. He's a blobby guy who wears sunglasses. Somebody with like their chest pulled open. Oh God.

And then you have harmonic amount. Harmonic amount. Casino bites. Casino bites? What's casino bites? The seno bites. The seno bites. That's right. Oh, what is that? I don't know that.

I thought it was seno bites. Could be. I'm gonna get up and make myself another drink while you guys talk about that. You wanna fix it? Okay, well, so vote in that poll. Yes. Hey, Bert.

Hey, Bert, what's your inseam? Oh. What's my inseam? Yes, your inseam, buddy. Why are you asking that, Doug? I'm designing some footholds for all of us. Oh, I don't know. I think we established that Bert doesn't want

to join the climbing team. I don't want any part of that. He doesn't want to do that. I feel that my inseam is very personal information. I agree, especially that I've been shouted out from an unknown location. I'm not gonna give details about my inner thigh to ankle. To the whole world.

To the whole world, all right? No. Make some more fun. I'm sure there does. And Doug, I wish you all the best. There, we got to wish someone all the best. I wish you good luck, Doug. Well, that's it for this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. If you'd like to hear ad-free versions and get access to our bonus content, go to cbbworld.com and sign up on the Maximus tier and you get access to us watching along to our favorite films. You get us revisiting previous guests

and seeing what they're up to. You get somehow, I don't know how this is happening. You get episodes of Mitch McNutt's awful podcast. Yeah, I don't know how that's happening either. We have to figure that out. Doug, you've got to get on that. How is he hijacking our feed? Yeah, how is he alleged posting? I'll look for the evidence. Oh, boy.

Here he comes. Here comes evidence. Here comes evidence. All right, well, thank you very much for listening. Follow us on Instagram at The Neighborhood Listen on Instagram, and you can see the posts that we use in the episodes. And I think that's about it. We'll be back next week with an...

Your mouse started doing that thing where it started growing over. Until then, goodbye. And bye. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed. The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins. And me, Nicole Parker. And me, Brett Morris. This episode's guest was played by Edgar Blackman.

The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang World. Go to cpbworld.com to unlock the entire history of the show, ad-free, as well as brand new full-length bonus room episodes, exclusive to Maximus subscribers. Your support keeps the show going.