The Neighborhood Listen - Burger Seen, Burger Achieved with D.J. Mausner

Episode Date: October 28, 2025

This week in Dignity Falls, Burt and Joan talk about the “tub system” at the Phallsmacy, Into The Woods, "that Peanut", and a concerning update on Gabby, while Doug chimes in with dual purposes. Later on the show, Paul (D.J. Mausner) complains about hamburgers being too flat, but carries a dark secret.Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for the Maximus plan to unlock this episode and ALL seasons of The Neighborhood Listen ad-free, as well as full length exclusive BONUS ROOM episodes adventuring deeper into Dignity Falls!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website. Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad-free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of the bonus room, go to CBBWorld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership. And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. Knock, knock.

Who's there? Your neighbor. Good. In Dignity Falls, you're never alone. You've got the neighbor half app and us. Burn. And Jode. From coyotes to mail theft to weird things to sell.

We'll cover it all. And meet new neighbors as well. We'll chat about any posts you're missing. So just tune in to The Neighborhood Listen. And welcome once more to The Neighborhood Listen. This is the podcast that explores the neighborhood of Dignity Falls. through the eyes of some of its residents. I am once a resident.

My name is Burt Me a Payday. I am the pharmacist in chief at the Dignity Falls, Missy. And here with me, as always, is... Oh, is Joan Pedestrian. I am the top realtor here at Dignity Falls, and I am a local actress. That's correct. Clean, smooth.

We got all the information. Wasn't true what you were describing. And then it was just starting to... Okay. Johnny, you're trying to get me canceled. Please don't cancel me. We are the the hosts of this show, and we do this every week. We talk to people in our neighborhood,

and we couldn't be more thrilled to be doing it again. Start clean and smooth. We can't go off the beaten path, you know, whatever we stick. When we stick to what the facts are of the intro, and then I think we got to get out. We got to start talking about ourselves. It's in any... Because our listeners love when we talk about it.

They love... I don't know why. They really love it. They're like, give us more. Yes. Don't stray from the path. It's not just for folk horror tales. No, it's not.

What is it? Do you know the musical Into the Woods? I've heard of it. It's a great. It's a great. It's one of the greats. It is a great. It's a great.

Actually, that works. Yeah, it's a great. It's one of the greats. It takes all of the wonderful terrifying, violent grim fairy tales and puts them all together in one musical. And it's directed by Zach Snyder? The idea of Zach Snyder directing a sot type

is extremely comical to me. And now I wonder what that would look like. It's in black and white. And you know what? Finally, be finding a medium where everyone's normal, you know, like they're like, yes, three hours, perfect, great. A three-hour musical.

No one would bat an eye. What's the shortest musical on record? Oh my goodness, that's a good question. I would say it's probably, is there a one act? I don't know that there's a one act. A one act of musical, wow. Here's the thing, Into the Woods first act was so long that when they did the out-of-town tryouts, everybody at intermission got up and left and went to the parking lot.

People ran after them and they were like, there's still more. Now I've dramatized that story, obviously. I don't know if they were really running after them. I don't know if there was a parking lot. No, this is more of a Ryan Murphy version you're doing. This is definitely. Alfred Hitchcock was there for some reason, but the wigs were on point.

I like, what I like it in a musical is when you get to intermission, that what happens right before intermission is supposedly a cliffhanger. It is. It's supposed to be cliffhanger or a big, or a big number, you know, a big, huge number. But yeah, you have to, it's, it's, you know, You almost need someone to come in a narrator like, what will happen next?

You know, go stand in the bathroom line. If you're a lady, you won't make it there. Is this the end? Is this the end of the notebook lady? I really am going to have to do some digging burn because I feel on the spot and ashamed of myself that I can't come up with the shortest musical. Well, because I like to consider myself

a little bit of a connoisseur on the medium. Well, that's why I asked you. Well, I know. And like I said, I am failing you in this moment. In real time, I'm failing you. Thank you. I didn't want to be the one to say. Well, then, but now you just were.

In a way. I suppose. You corroborated it, which it hurts a little bit. Yes. I can't, I'm trying to think of what the equivalent of a pharmacist question is for you like that. I mean, you can ask, you can ask me gotchas about the pharmacy. And I'll do my best. I mean, that seems like a pretty, there's, it seems like there's could be many.

There's could be many. There's could be many. There could be many out there. Many gotchas in the pharmacy world. There's many gotchas in the pharmacy world. That is true. What is, what are you doing back there? Honestly, that's what I want to know.

Because whether or not I'm in the drive-thru or I'm at, now here's the thing. I will be honest. This is probably more for a CVS question, but it still happens sometime at the Falls Mississippi. The Falls Museum is much more efficient, I do have to say, where you work now. But half the time, you know, it's like, here's what I see from my perspective. a lot of the time when I go to the pharmacy

I give my name I give my birthday you know and then they come back and like birthday again I'm like okay and then they're like

name again pedestrian right how many pedestrians are there in this town right and they it's got those little plastic tubs

you know where they've got them all in that's their fancy filing system and they just pull them out and they push it back in pull them out push it back in

and then they're looking at like some other box of random pharmacy products that came in another tub there's tubs everywhere and they're looking at them they just

how hard is it to find my prescription as what I want to know, Burton. Am I yelling? I'm sorry. I'm yelling. I understand your frustration. And I appreciate that question, John. Thank you. And first, may I say, it's wonderful to be here. I apologize. I wanted to debate vote for some reason. But, you know, that was, that was, when I worked at CVS, that was a problem because they were still using the tub system. Oh, You hate the tub system.

The tub system, it's one of those things where it's like, well, that's what I came up with, so that's what we use. That does be like. It's like 200 junk doors back there. Yes, exactly. That's right. But they're all full of important medication that people need. Yes, extremely dull. Not just scotch tape and a poker chip.

There is extremely dull scissors. There's much twist ties. A one playing card. That's right. That's right. Bottle caps. Bottle caps. A loose pill, let's be honest.

There's at least one loose pill in every tub. And, you know, it was frustrating as a pharmacist as well because you would forget the details that someone just told you because you're trying to remember the arcane system. Can you explain that to me? The arcane system. The tubs are, they're not labeled. Yeah, that seems evidence.

It's like being a taxi driver in London, where you have to memorize the location. Is that right? That feels specific. I don't know this. Explain this to me, Burt. First of all, you want to give a shout out

to London Cabs. Oh, are they the most magical? You know what? We should have done this a long time ago. Shout out to London Cabs. Yes, those tall black cabs. They're wonderful. They're fabulous.

I just think they're fun. I hope to ride in one someday. Oh, you've never been? Never been to London. Then how do you know so much about London Cabs? Well, because I watch movies. Oh, of course. Sure.

And you learned about the system from a movie? Yes. Okay. Which movie was that? I think it was. was introduction to London cab cars. Oh, Emily Blent is great in that. But they have to memorize the entire city, pretty much.

They do? They have to know it off the top of their head. Why, they can't use their iPhones. They can't use a system, Google Maps, anything? I think they can, but I think they still have to have the basic knowledge. I think they, I say that, I'm not sure. but I think that they have to know you can't get into a cab and say

into one of those London black cabs and say take me to Skrillington Place or whatever and they say never heard of it you know where is that they have to know where it is that is the opposite of here for sure and because we don't have

we don't have the Waymo's yet here in town and we don't like have Uber or Lyft we just have we have well it's like a hybrid they're they're trying different kinds um but it's it's called where to but here's the thing you absolutely have to give them directions like and they're they're they're very rude when you're giving them directions they're like what turn now did you mean now or later it's basically like every couple trying to yeah it's it reminds me of you know every couple trying to drive

on the freeway you know it's like this is this is the exit this is the exit you know and and and then you're i'm always fighting with those drivers that was our exit That was it. Yeah. And he'll be like, well, you were talking, you know, and you get mad at me for not listening to you. Yeah. So it's, so they, no one knows where anything is here in town.

And you know, if you get with a, with a where two driver. Here's what's making things worse is the Maywows, which is, that is a passengerless car. So what happens is someone orders one, then if it's coming close to where you are, you have to drive to where the next person needs one. You get in behind the wheel. I still don't understand. You call it the car to come by. Oh, I see.

No, no, no, no, no. You call the car to come over to you and you have to get in and drive. Is that what it is? Yes, you call the car to come. And then whatever car is closest to you that's, you know, driven by a passenger who is going as close to where you are as possible. I see. So it's car sharing.

but only for one person. One person at a time, yes. There are no passengers. There are no passengers. That is, sometimes I think this town is dumb. I will be honest. I love it. I love it.

They're just working out the kids. But that's pretty dumb. What I don't like is when you get out of the Maywo, you hear this disembodied voice from the back of the car say, a thank you would be nice. I don't know what that gets anyone. I don't see how it's helping. They don't either.

Yeah, they have passive aggressive comments constantly in the back. When you miss a turn, you just hear this voice go, oh. Doug and I, I don't drive much together anymore anyways because that's the way that it works.

It's like I can't tell him any story because if I start to tell him a story, then he just missed, he forgets where he's going. and sometimes we've now learned that if I tell the story he pulls over to the side of the road even if we're on the highway

because he's like and he turns he unlocks his seatbelt and he turns and faces me eye to eye and I finish the story hazard lights yes sorry babe

we haven't introduced yet that's my husband in another room record it's okay this is Doug our engineer hi babe that's right hey

oh hey hey I never come in quite right it's interesting You've been trying out different catchphrases. I remember one time you said, Henlo. Maybe I'll go back to that.

Internet dog speak. I remember Henlo. I like that one. I think Doug here happened one time. I think you said that. Baby, you know what? I'm going to give you, you know, benefit of the doubt here. A lot of times, I think it's hard because you're, okay, let me.

I was going to sit down. Let you have benefit of the doubt. Oh. Are you getting ready to receive the benefit of the doubt? Doug always, Doug sits down to receive the benefit. Sure. It is kind of... It's a little bit of a ceremony in our house.

If somebody says that to you, I do think it should be a bigger moment. It's like, oh, will you? And you sit down and cross your arms. It's my version of unlocking my seatbelt, putting the hazard to that's on and stopping the car. And it happens in that order, too, which is weird. I keep telling Doug, I'm like, why don't you stop the car first? But no, he unlocks the seatbelt. Folds his arms.

It stops the car. And it turns on the hazard lights. You have the... And then I say, tell me more. it really works you should try it with gabby you should oh you wouldn't believe how it works when a man just looks at you it says tell me more of that story you were telling me oh boy it's our points can be for playing anyways so here's the benefit of your doubt that you don't get to you know what i mean that you don't get to talk i didn't mean you know what she means you don't get to talk right away right we get to sort of just immediately you you immediately you immediately you immediately you immediately you immediately you immediately start talking you say your name you give you throw it to me and then we talk for a little bit and so you know what i mean it's like if you're waiting on a zoom meeting you ever you ever had a

zoom meeting that you're waiting on and you're you're like you know muted and whatnot but now you're waiting 10 minutes 20 minutes it's like oh now i what should i do should i do something else yes yes right we don't know what doug has gotten into in the last 15 minutes you know he might have been ready he might not be now or he might be in a different head space so i that i just wanted to give you some grace babe on that that's like maybe that's why you have a hard time coming I feel the benefit of my doubt. Okay, good. Oh, that's nice.

Yeah. Did you know that some podcasts, I found this out recently, they make the guest sit through the first segment where they just talk about whatever instead of what we do, which is we record this separately and then we invite the guest in. But imagine that poor person just sitting there having to listen to these people blather on. I can't imagine anything worse right now in the moment. It's a living hell.

I can't, I mean, other than not being able to come up, but the world short is musical. I mean, that's the only thing that's worse than that. No. But, uh, okay. So you still don't have it. I still don't have it. I don't have it.

I thought you were stalling this whole time. No, I wish I was. What if next episode we let Doug kick off the show? I think that's a great idea. I have this weird feeling that we did that once before, uh, but it could be wrong. I don't remember that. Doug, do you remember that happening ever? No.

Oh, no, I don't. Okay. Well, then that was a bullet. Yes. For sure, he's been waiting for us. ask him that. Where are you today, babe? Where are you recording from?

I'm in the backscratch hut. Oh, yes. Oh, gosh. I can't believe it took him this long to do this, right? Because there was only one short chapter in our home where we had multiple cats, right? We had our cat banana that famously went missing. And then bananas, you adopted. Yes, we didn't.

Now, if you've gotten a third cat. What would the name have been? Well, you know, it's like that fun song for kids. It would have probably been like Bonono, right? You know, I like to ate, eight, apels and bonanis. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yes. I like to Oat, Oat, Oat, Opels and Bono.

Oh, I don't like this. Eat, eat, eat eples and benignis. I've never heard of this. It's a blast. I guess get to you. It's a blast. It's a real. And sometimes why.

There is a really, he's not the only person to, I don't know that he wrote this song, but do you remember, have you heard this song, um, uh, uh, what's it called? It's about the, it's about the blue, no. Baby Baluga. Have you heard that song? No. Okay. Baby Baluga?

I know you don't spend much time around children. Spend all over the microphone. Um, this is, there was a child singer named Rafi and he's very popular. Okay, great. So one of the famous songs he sang, I don't know if other people sang it, but I feel like it was made famous by him. He would sing. He sang, he wrote baby beluga, but he would also sing

Apples and Bonanase, Opels and Bonono's, that thing. Okay. So that's where that comes from. My children loved it. My boys loved it. And they did it constantly. They did it with every word. They did it with every vowel.

So if we had a third cat. Right. Well, they created their own language, you know. It was like, well, that's what twins do, right? Home, we are hungry. We are hungry. I can't even do it anymore. But he, by the way, Bert's lips went along with me.

trying to do that exercise. But I was doing it wrong, and it made me realize I was, I was doing it wrong. So did I just, did I say I was doing it wrong twice? I think. Yeah, you did. Yeah. So I had too much coffee today, just so you know, just so everybody knows. Eat ye.

That's what they say. The boy said that the other day. Is E.T. here? Dig. That's what I would always say. Give me that one again, babe. I don't remember that one. Dig.

Dig. aim meed eat ye and what does that mean Doug on that at you they would always call Doug Doug Doug instead of dad I'm of course I'm talking about my boys my twin boys Matt and Virginia Slim

Virginia Virginia Slim Well it's so hard to say why did I do that I don't well you call him Slim a lot of the times It was mostly Matt and Slim We're Matt and Verge Yeah And when they saw Tombstone They just love that Sam Elliott's character was named Virge

Oh shit! That big mustache. This is not a movie podcast. That big mustache and that one Sam Elliott role. Well, here's the Mount Doug. Mouth Doug. So Moliate. Somoliet.

I like to watch, watch, watch, watch. Do you ever see that movie where the people are starting to become a simoleet? It's called Somme. Sam Elliott does adjust his mustache by a half an inch, depending on whether it's happening in the Old West or in modern times. Do you know that because Gabby knows so much about show business? Did she tell you that? Let's not talk about getting. Now what? This, babe, sorry. I know we didn't spend much time. We don't even know what room you're in right now. You're in the back scratching. Oh, sorry. You're in the back scratch room. That's right.

Yeah, let's talk about that. No, no. Saspirilla. Is that so moly at Staspero? I've always wanted a sasperula. I mean, it's just a root beer, really. Oh, it is? Yeah, I believe so, yeah. Yeah, so I'm sure you've had one. They can't be the same.

The weight is over. I have. You know what? I would bet it's probably not as good root beer. A little flat. Given to how much attention they paid to drinks that were not alcoholic back in those days. Yes. So when we had those, anyways, when we had the cats, of course, we all know that like cats love to like scratch, you know, just like.

scratch on things like that. But then again, so did the boys. So did, I like to have the bottom of my feet scratched. It's just the thing. We don't need to talk anymore about it. Okay. I didn't need to hear about it. But so I, so, you know, we all benefit from it.

We all go in there. Yeah, Doug loves a back scratch. And I just get tired, you know, like he wants me to, he wants it scratched hard. Like I mean claws down your back. Like the howling? I have her sharpener nails first. Oh, sharpen her nails. But he had been trying everything.

You know, like I bought every backscratcher in the world, right? You know, and I... None of them were good enough. None of them were good enough. And so finally, he created this backstarch room, and it really is great. You know, there's one where you can go in and, like, control it. There's one where it actually, you know, it's just... There's only one where you can control it?

No, no, I'm saying there's several. Oh, okay. And, you know, we put some cat towers in there just for fun, but human size. There's also a... Why not? You walk in and there's a rack of different types of bass scratchers you can take. There's also a little Japanese dry garden you can use the bass scratcher on. It's not, you mean the little rake for a thing?

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Zen garden? Mm-hmm. Yeah. And, you know, so dual purpose. And we're coming up with new ideas every day.

He just learned afraid. He loves saying it. Dual purpose. Yeah. It says it a lot lately. Can I say this to backscratch manufacturers? Yes. Oh.

If your backscratcher doesn't resemble a little hand, I don't know what you're doing. Well, yeah, exactly. You're wasting all of our time. Yeah. Yeah. I agree with you. Don't make it look like a tool. Make it look like a little hand.

That's the way to go. Well, I got the one that was almost perfect and I was so excited about it. It was a Wolverine one. Oh, sure. And then when you push it. Snicked. Like they came, yeah, they literally came out. what is that, Adamantium?

Is that what it's called? I can't believe that. I don't know much at all about comic anything. Comic anything. Can you shorten it like that? Can you shorten a comic book like that? No, it probably gets confusing, doesn't it? Because it means a lot of different things.

If you just say comic anything? Yeah, probably. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Could be a font you're referring to. Okay. So now we did what we could, but I can't stop asking you about Gabby, okay? Like I let you wait for a minute.

But I feel, I don't know, babe. Am I right? Every time, like, we just started this season. We just started season Klein, season nine, season Klein. And he always has to add it. And we all decided we could have it. It's whatever Klein means to you. For me, it's Kevin.

For whatever Klein means to you. It could be Patsy, from our client to yours. From our client to yours. That's what we should say. Why? You're saying the word Klein can meet. It could mean anything. Yeah, it could mean anything.

I don't think that's what we were just saying. No, I think Joan was saying whatever. Dual purpose. Whatever Klein. This is what I'm telling you. I see it now. Yeah, yeah, you got it in there again. All week with this.

No, remember we talked about the different people with last name Klein that we like. And I had said, oh, Kevin Klein. But I said feeling fine. Yeah, yeah. That was your pitch. Your pitch was season nine feeling fine. Right. I said season Klein first.

See, you could add whatever you want to the client. I didn't realize that was going to happen all the time. So I probably, I would, I would have rethought that if I could go back in time. Oh, if you could turn back time. But we can't. We're in the present. And I want to know what's going on with you and Gabby in the present because I feel like, even just in this short time, she's inclined, feeling fine.

Babe, but don't you understand, don't you hear it? Like, every time I ask him, it's gotten worse. Last time he was like saying I'm not exhausted, but I am exhausted. You know, what's going on? She was missing. She wasn't missing. She just was not, uh, she went into her bedroom. was not responding to me.

And recently, I had the courage to try the doorknob to her bedroom. Finally. And it was unlocked. And I went in and she wasn't there. What? And there was a note on her pillow. Okay. That said, if I'm correct, it's taken you three weeks to come in here.

So she was pretty close. And no, there was no mint. That's how you know. Babe, why would there be a mint? What do you mean? Why would there be a mint? That's a nice check in a hotel. No, I got burnt.

I definitely understand. What I mean is I don't know why. That's a thing that happens in hotels when people turn down your sheets, right? Or when you check into a room. That's not sort of a, at least in my world, not a trope of like, oh, a woman's upset with her husband or partner and goes in the room for a long time. And no matter what, even if that person leaves or comes out, there's a mint on the pillow for sure, that old thing. That's not a thing. That's not a thing. I agree.

Okay. Well, it seemed like you made perfect sense to you. I mean, it made sense in the sense of that's the kind of thing that Doug says. If I was leaving the family and I left you a note on the pillow, I think I'd still leave a mint because it's a... Why? It's the nice... It's a human. We're all human and we all want a mint.

And you're going to take the note pretty hard. Oh. You know, well, I think nods and not... Hey, this sounds like he's thought about this a little bit. I think that she did not leave the mint, probably because it's not a thing that people do, but also because she was upset with me. Well, this is where he's going to say, just quickly, and I do want to get into that. I just want to say, again, this is coming back to the DP of it all,

is that he knows you're sad, but also you probably have bad breath. So it's another dual purpose moment. I know it is. We don't even have to talk about it any further. That's why he's thinking about leaving the mint. He's thinking if someone is... Leave the mint for a dual purpose. That you probably have bad breath because you're sad?

Again, I'm talking about for Doug to Doug's brain. All right. What, babe? Doug, care to comment? That is not the dual purpose I had in mind. What was it? Your breath is your business. Doug's not always said that.

I'm already. That's why I questioned it, Joan. I've always said your breath is your business. I'm already out of the family. I don't care what your breath smells like. Doug wins it's for you. If you ever bring up that somebody has bad breath, Doug says that's their business. Yeah.

I will not tolerate gossip in this house. He actually stopped the car pulled over to say that one time to me because I was complaining about someone in my story who had bad breath. And he almost just threw the parking break on. It was awful. That's what he did. How often do you become afraid that you have bad breath and no one's told you? Oh, all the time.

Yeah, right? Yes. Isn't it the number one fear that you're going from? Because when you encounter someone who has bad breath, you're like, I guess no one has ever told this person. You know where it happens a lot is doing shows with people because you're up in people's faces all the time. Oh, sure. And it's really incredible sometimes when people just don't seem to have that fear at all, you know? And like there was a person I did a show with and you could just, it was like, oh, you, I know what you ate. You clearly didn't do anything after you ate

that. You decided it was okay to come here on stage and speak into my face with that breath. Yeah. And maybe that's why I think it is my business. I think if you are in the business of working up close with people and pretending as if like you're in love with them. God forbid you have to kiss someone who smells like garlic. Oh my God. Oh, you know the worst is like garlic ham. Here's the... The worst is you're doing, if you're doing

a show where you have to be two people who hate each other but secretly love each other. And then of course there's a scene where you get right up in each other's faces. You're screaming. Then there's a beat and then you start kissing. Wait, burnt. What are you talking about? Has this happened to you? No. I'm saying this is a thing. You said it with, you said it as if you said it It is as if it happened to you.

Trying around if this has happened to me. It does feel familiar. This is all a deflection to not talk about Gabby. She left. She left it. She did you leave you a note? She said it's exactly three weeks. She did she leave me a note and she said, yes, I say she estimated at the time it would take

me to actually work up the courage to open the door. And then she, in all caps, wrote, anyway. Oh, really? Yes. Bizar. Yeah, she was pretty mad. What happened after the anyway? She said, I can't believe you brought that up because of course a few weeks ago I said, you know, we were at dinner, having dinner at home.

And I said, remember that time we almost got married and. This is all in the note still. No, this is me refreshing your memory. Oh, oh, oh, sorry. I got lost. I was like, this is such a weird note. Pull over, babe. I'm mentally pulling over.

I'm locking in. Hit those hazards. Tell me more. She, you know, so I brought, I, I don't know, I thought this would be kind of a cute, funny thing to bring up. So I remember that time we almost got married? And, um, now, this is a runaway groom moment when you got cold feet. Yes, I got cold feet. And it honestly, it was a foolish thing to say because it was a miracle.

I was able to win her back after that, win her trust again. And I think what we kind of tacitly agreed is we would never discuss that. Okay. And so the fact that I brought it up really upset her. Okay. And she said, I can't. I can't believe you brought that up. I thought we had a tacit agreement that we would never discuss it again.

Oh, she referenced the tacit agreement. She did. She did. She said, now you're going to have to try twice as hard. Oh. I am somewhere in this city. Okay, so now we're back to the note. Now we're back to the note.

You've got to let me know. Now we've been back to the note. The tacit agreement part. Well, when I shifted to the second person, I thought you would know that we're back at the time. I'm doing my best. I'm trying my best, honey We all know that, great video

Great video, look it up Little girl, the Grinch teacher The big glasses So wait, so she said she's somewhere in this city She's somewhere in the county She's somewhere in the town I have no idea where she is And you're supposed to come find her

I was supposed to come find her What were the last words of the note? She says you're supposed to come find me That's it. No love, no like No. Oh boy Not even warm regards Oh Were there any sort of

Um, pictures, pictures or diagrams or... There was a mysterious epigraph. Yeah. Roons. All right. Good catch, Doug. That's exciting. Well, I mean, maybe.

Not in this context. This is concerning. Have you started looking for her yet? Yeah, I have. Like, what are the places you guessed you'd go? I just, any, I walk down the street. I look everywhere. This is terrible.

Why wouldn't you tell me this even just before the podcast? This is a big deal. Your girlfriend's missing. She's like hit herself. Yeah, she hit herself. She's not missing. But this is serious. Like, who does this?

I'm not, is she well? That's not a, that's sort of a, a concerning thing to do in general. I think that's a bit rude. It's not, oh my goodness, it's not rude. It's okay for me to, if, now, it's different because of course, you know, Doug might be just playing some game or whatever, but, you know, people in my family love to hide, right? But there's a precedent for them.

All of those just the twins. Oh, yeah. No, but Doug. gets in on it sometimes but it'll be like a fun it'll be like a fun thing you know what i mean like he'll um like it'll be like two weeks sometimes but we there's a tacit understanding that it's not oh we do tacit understandings we don't do tacit agreement somebody recently heard the word tacit dual tacit oh those are the toughest oh boy anyways i'm sorry that you that you think it's rude I meant it as I'm concerned for someone

who you love because I love you and I've just not heard of this before in terms of like a fight or someone actually says you have to come find me or I'm hiding somewhere in this town I mean our relationship is not the same as your relationship and everybody does their own thing you know what I mean so it's like you

run your marriage the way you see fits and Gabby and I have our relationship Were you turning into Ellen DeGeneres? Oh, no, that's what she does. I'm just doing a quick dance around the table. Don't mind me. Hey, babe, we should probably find out how long we've been recording. Now, just step away from the back scratcher.

Which one are you on? Which one were you on? I'm on the Edward Cisorhance model. I heard a story about the Yellow DeGeneres show that, you know, because the audience would have to get up and dance too. Oh, yes. They'll go to breaks and stuff. Yeah, you know, it would have been dancing.

And he doesn't know how much we've been talking But he does know he hates that There was a writer on the show Who invited a friend to the recording And this person The friend did not dance During the credits and during the breaks And Ellen was very upset by this

I feel like you brought this up before maybe No No Okay but then I've heard this I have heard it from someone else That's right I definitely have heard of this going around. It's going around right now.

It's very... It's going around right now. And hashtag Ellen dancing is trending. Yeah. I did not know that. But here's another fun one. Do you want to hear this one? Sure. There's an interview I watched once when Ellen was talking about whether or not she and Portia wanted kids. And I believe that she said that Portia did want kids. But then Ellen said, you know, that sound of like children playing in a pool,

they're screaming and having a great time. That's the worst sound in the world to me. And I thought, that is bleak. It's so bleak. It's so bleak. It really affected me. It turned me black from the inside out. Just like a tar.

There was just a tar. There was like a muck. It was just, it really brought me down. It was a rough weekend for Doug. He remembered. Oh, I don't remember when that happened. I didn't know that was the source of it. Yes.

That's the one time. Who was the one of the times? Joan. Oh, okay. That was one of the times. I heard a different name for some reason. Anyways, babe, do you know how long when we've been talking? At this point, yeah, over 30.

At this point, yeah, over 30. Well, when you asked before, it was about to remember. Well, that was way too long. And so I need you, babe, I mean, I need you. You're supposed to, like, keep us on track and make sure we don't get past 20. That's usually our goal. I think 10 minutes over is too much. I don't know that we've ever actually given Doug that responsibility.

Thank you, Burt. But that's a good idea. First, I've heard of that. You know what? I'm sorry. I guess I just remember doing it, and I guess I didn't do it. I'm really sorry. I really apologize.

Doug, do you accept her apology? Without fail. You know what? I'm going to stay out of it. Do you accept my I apologize? Oh, no. I mean, my ipilogy. We'll be right back with the neighbor listen when the neighbor listen returns.

Mr. Monopoly here. Monopoly is back at McDonald's. Register in the McDonald's app so you're ready to get more. You're back. Two ways to peel for a chance to Get Your Bag! Physical peels with select items and digital peels with others to Get Your Bag!

Play Monopoly at McDonald's. No purchase necessary. C-rolls at Play.mcd.com for full details and AMOE.com to play without purchase. Ends November 23rd, but bonus play ends November 2nd. Monopoly is a registered trademark of Hasbro. Copyright McDonald's. This is Scott and wanted tortoise. Free. Oh, we have some rescue tortoises.

and was looking for a marginated tortoise. We prefer females. We don't want the tortoises we have to fight. We will take great care of her tortoise and feed her well from our organic garden. And then the sort of steamboat really kind of emoticon with the equal sign and then the parentheses makes a smile. Thank you.

When I say we will take great. care of her tortoise. I mean, we'll take great care of her, comma, tortoise. Her, the tortoise. We don't want them to fight because we got out of that business. It was not lucrative,

and I don't recommend it. Tortoises, even if they fight, it's not exciting to watch. Not as exciting as other animals. We did have two armadillas fighting, but they mostly just argued. So

yeah, give us a free tortoise. Welcome back to the neighborhood lesson. Oh, Bert, I loved that. Thank you. It was really, it's like a character you put on. Characters. You don't like that? I don't like that in comedy.

Oh, you don't like characters in comedy? What are they supposed to do? So should be just a bunch of just boring, bland people? I guess either at the beginning or at the end, should break the character and say, it's just me, by the way. You know, I'd appreciate that. I knew a friend that worked on a sketch comedy.

What's that done? I'd appreciate that. Yeah. Give you a little wink. Hey. You would tacitly appreciate that? Absolutely. I'm sorry, what's this about a friend

that works on a sketch show? Yeah, and she just said that a lot of times if you'll see a sketch with a crazy character, with one crazy character, they said that writers call that. Here comes the weirdo sketches. Oh, sure. Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, those are the funest sketches where everyone else just has to stand around.

That's right. And be like, what are you doing? That's what it feels like for me at home. That's not normal behavior. All right. So we scour the neighbor app, the social networking application for neighborhoods. We do this every week. And we invite people on to tell their stories.

If you see a post that you think we should talk about, we should invite that guest on, why don't you screenshot it and let us know. Oh, sorry. Burt and our feet never touch, but when they do it is like an electric shock and Burt reacts very big They're touching like crazy. As if he forgets, our limbs are very close together down there.

I feel like the Kitchen Island, first of all, there shouldn't be room for feet to be touching underneath. Why do you have that? Joan stretches out all the way. Yeah, so we have these little airways tunnels for our feet so our feet could touch all the family wanted them. I had this Big slab of marble, but they made me cut right through it.

Oh, that's kind of sweet. It was good. So you sit around the aisle and your feet would be touching each other. Every once in a while, but you know, my boys like to swing their feet. And, of course, we're in these very high chairs that have extremely high backs, almost like a canopy above you. And because I love the acoustics of it. Sure. But you reacted as if you were in an inner tube in the water and a sharp brushed against your toe.

guilty as charged so if you'd like to send us a post that we've missed send it to us a screenshot and send us at burt and joan at gmail.com a listener did just that web cummings sent us these posts they're they're both from the same person thanks web thank you web thank you for being listener, hope you will one day be a fan. This is a post from our guest. Our guest writes, this post is entitled, Just Saying. I wish I could get, comma, in

person, the hamburgers that they space serve on TV. They're really huge on TV, but when I go to the restaurant to buy them, they're like flatter than a sewer cover, quote, just saying, end quote. And then if you have a problem

with that. Oh. Our guest writes in a separate post, I have a right to express myself just like you do. Oh, wow. Please welcome to the neighborhood list and to tell us more. Paul, Paul, welcome. Hi, Paul.

Hey, what's up? I'm happy to be here. Oh, thanks for coming. Thank you. No, go ahead. No, go ahead. Sorry, Paul. We just, we didn't have our, or sometimes we don't know who's going to ask the first question. Yes.

But I will ask a question. Please. Of course it is. Is there a specific, when you're watching these burgers on TV? is this is going right to the burgers is this is I just want to get right to the heart of the matter are these are we talking about various commercials uh can you like name the are these for local restaurants are these for chains is this you want to name and shame the chain I don't need Paul I don't need him to shame and change um the the the restaurant but I would like to know

what the variety is of things he's seen right is there something specific just talk to me about that little bit well you know it's it's a problem across the board so okay on some of these commercials, we're talking about, you know, Dany Fault Burger Barn. We're all aware of Burger Barn. Oh, we're very aware of Burger Barn. And Burger Barn, you know, particularly advertises really tall burgers, big tall burgers. Yes. A couple of patties, couple of buns.

Yes. I mean, they will have them on the side of the highway. The billboard is instead like a billboard that's flipped on its side, a vertical billboard. Yes. And it's just a stack of meat. And it says not actual size, but almost. But it says it in very small font. You're right, Paul. That is true. Right.

And so that's one of the ones you're talking about? Yeah, when I say when I'm seeing burgers on TV, I mean a vertical billboard. I mean mostly a vertical billboard. And then also, you know what? There's the fireplace channel. Yes, of course. Well, there's also one Burger TV. Oh, I didn't know.

And that's just sort of a slideshow, a keynote presentation of burgers, different burgers, photos, videos. I've heard of this, but I haven't seen it. I don't think it's in my cable package. No, you have to pay extra. Like a burger TV. Is it? Do you do it ad-free? Absolutely. Because I don't want no ads that don't have burgers

and then when I'm watching the burgers. Right, of course. Oh, sure. I don't want you configure ads. I only want burger ads. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, just for people outside of Dignity Falls, there is a fireplace channel here that is,

and a lot of people don't realize this. It's live. It is. It's a fire being tended 24 hours a day. And it's the longest burning fire. The location has never been disclosed. Yeah. People have tried to find it.

Absolutely. They've tried to find. They've dedicated their lives to trying to find this life. fire. Yeah, the eternal flame of dignity false. Yes. That's right. Yes. And it truly is, not in a way like a lot of these eternal flames are. This is truly an eternal flame.

Because it was found. It was. And then people just started taking care of it. Yeah. So can I ask you, this might be getting straight to it too much, but is there a perfect burger you have had? Are you comparing this

to something you remember having or is it still a dream that's far away? Well, Because I'm, beautiful. Thank you. That was poetic. That was poetic. Your fellow burger lover.

Oh, I do love. I do love a meat sandwich. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Now, I'm always yearning for the best burger possible. I'm always yearning. And I've had some pretty good burgers, but I'm still yearning for the big one. What would you say?

Top burger is probably Burger Barnes, big porky boy burger. Yes. I love that way. And that's the burger where you got three patties and they're filled. with cheese. The B.P.B. Burger. The B.B. Burger. That's right. And three patties filled with cheese. And when you order it, they shuffle it like a deck of cards.

Oh. Wow. That's impressive. And they stack them up. And so is a teenager who's cooking it. Oh, yeah. They get a minimum wage teenager who's cooking it. Yes. Big, big porky boy burger. You can taste that in the quality of them. Absolutely. And when they deliver it to you, they don't wrap it in paper because it's so tall.

Uh-huh. They kind of tie it like a like a package with a piece of twine. Yeah. Yeah. So hold it all. Yeah. Sometimes they'll do a toothy. all the way down the middle. But they stopped doing that because people were injuring themselves, of course. But then let me ask you,

first of all, how do you eat that? How are they injuring themselves? Well, because here's why. It was good. On the toothpick. Yeah, how? Because they bite into it. But it's so tall.

No, but don't you, well, I heard, my boys have gone a couple times. They said they eat it like corn on the cob. We have to, you have to hold it. You have to hold it by the either side of the skewer. We have to hold it horizontally. Well, then you must have some sense of where the thing is. You're talking.

talking about my boys. That's a user error. You can stab your hand. The Porky Boy Burger is such an experience that you might find yourself lost. That's true. Knowing a way. That's true. Go straight through the middle.

Then let me ask you. So then that sounds like an example of burger scene, burger achieved, right? Where you've seen a burger on TV that you wanted. This is a classic example of Burger Scene Burger Achieved. Would you not agree? I would say it is absolutely a classic example of that. Burger Scene Burger Achieve It's sort of the motto

By which I live my life Wow! Oh, that's what that tattoo is. Mm-hmm. Yeah, the one The one of my forehead? Yes. Burger seat on my chin? Burger Achieve. I was, I didn't, I confess, I wanted to read it

but I felt like I would be staring if I had If I lingered too long trying to decipher it. Yeah, and then I on my chest to have a tattoo that says, hey, my burger seen burger achieved is up here. So you really can't look much anywhere. when you're taking the gander of me. I'm hoping you're looking at the big burger, I mean.

Now, frankly, I want to ask you about your sort of, it seems like it's maybe a catchphrase that you're initiating, just saying. Is this the beginning of, because, okay, let's back up a little bit. Please. Beep, beep, beep. Thanks, Doug. That's my husband.

You can't hear me in another room, but he's doing a backup sound. Thanks, babe. Well, all right. Thank you for that. Paul appreciates that. I was confused momentarily. So the post before this one that I read second, that I have a right to express myself just like you do.

Hell yeah. Was this in response to something? Because then you come out with the just saying, which feels like, if I may, correct me if I'm wrong, the first in what is to be a series of just sayings by Paul. Absolutely. No, you can be more right. I mean, people have been trying to stifle my speech about different fast food for you.

They have? They have? They tried to stifle it. Can you give an example of someone stifling your speech? Who's silencing you, Doug? Well, you know, it's just... Not Doug, Paul. I'm so sorry.

I have some sort of name blindness about the name, Paul. It's been a while since we had two, one-syllable names, three, one-syllable names going on. It has been a long time. It's been a really long time. Four. Hey, that's all right. I was going to say male names. But yes, you're right.

So go on. What's an example of someone stifling your burger speech? Okay, so my burger speech was stifled. It was sort of burger-adjacent speech, quite frankly. I didn't mean to limit it just to burgers. You said in general, yes. Let's close call, Joan. I contain multitudes.

So one such example is I was watching Scooby-Doo, and I saw them have a big old tall sandwich. Oh, sure. They were not a big old tall sandwich. Shaggy loves those sandwiches. Yeah, Shaggy loves those sandwiches. Do you have an olive on the top of it? Yeah, big old, all.

Right on the top, a castelvino wallet. Yes. I'm big and juicy. And then I go into town to Dignity Falls, sandwich chain shop. Okay. Subs and stuff. I love subs and stuff.

And here we go. I go in to get a big old sandwich stacked real high. They give me a long sandwich. They said we only serve submarines here. And that would be stifling my sandwich switch. I see. I want a big talk. I want it up.

I don't want a side to side. Oh, but you were saying, Okay, but you were saying your original post? Okay, oh, I see you. You really, really like it, like, big and tall and thick with your sandwiches. I like it big and tall and thick, exactly. People can say that about many things for me. This is true.

Burger, sandwiches, French fry. I'm surprised because, you know. I love a big tall, thick French fry. Just one. Just one. I just want a big one like a javelin. That's all I need. It still comes in a fun, silver, like, long container.

The paper around that that's fun. I want a French fry the size of a submarine sandwich and I want a submarine sandwich the height of an eight-year-old boy. I want them tall, I said. Yeah, I mean, I can see that. I guess they just figured, you know, maybe you did have a kid who was their first day and they didn't think that they were up to the task

of doing a tall sub sandwich because they do have, you know, especially lately because of sort of the double meaning or should we say dual purpose, but it's double meaning, that, you know, subs and stuff was saying they were doing substacks, you know, and you did have to, you had to subscribe to the group, but you could come in and you could get a sub stack, you know? And maybe

he just didn't know about that policy because that makes me sad because I really love subs and stuff. I mean, I always go in there for like an Italian sandwich and a pencil sharpener. I love substance stuff because I would get a sub there and I would get maybe some boots for the winter. But

do you remember when they lost me was when substance stuff tried to sue that movie The Substance? saying that this is a cop. That was just in the spring. They said you're trying to confuse people. And I was like,

guys, come on. What are we doing here? Exactly. I mean, it doesn't matter that they won. That's one of our say. I mean, that's one of our things we're known for. Dignity Falls, the sound of frivolous lawsuits. Boy, that's true.

And listen, you know, Demi. And if you don't think so, we'll sue you. Demi Moore was the spokesperson for substance stuff. so I do understand where the overlap was. We often get celebrities come, you know, it's like when they fly to get Japan to sell whiskey. Yeah. But we really treat them great.

I mean, Helen Mirren, wasn't it, that did the commercial for the Ford that only children could drive? Yes, that's right. Baby Ford? What was it called? No, no, it was an established thing, and I now can't remember the name of it. But you know what?

Doug usually is good at remembering that stuff. He'll come back with it to us soon. But we get some really great people, so that didn't surprise me, But I think I miss these Demi Moore commercials. Yeah, it's sort of like, it was sort of, she was, it was sort of like Jared Fogel adjacent, not in that, not in that way. And she, she would be wearing really small pants. She'd be saying, I ain't too much subs and stuff.

And now I don't fit in these dang pants. She would hold up a doll-sized pair of pants to say, well, say goodbye to these. Yeah, because I'm throwing these away. But see, she didn't connect it to the movie, did she? It's just that then the movie, the people who wrote the movie connected. No, exactly. Then she's in a movie called The Substance, and Substance Stuff said, come on, Demi. I thought we had a great relationship.

You have a sub-exclusive clause in your contract. We paid you $150 million. Is that how much you made? Wow. Substant stuff is very successful. No, I mean, it really is. For a non-chain? Yeah.

It's a mom-and-pop shop. Well, because they sell so much stuff. I think they make, do we think they make most of their money on the stuff rather than the subs? Yeah, because they do crypto and stuff. They were those crypto ATMs. They were in early on crypto. Oh, my God, ground floor. Yeah, you ever get an NFT of a big sub, a big misty sandwich,

an empty of a big ball huggy? I mean, by the way. A what? I'm a big ball huggy. It's a big one. I mean, by the way, the subs and stuff, just so people have a reference, I mean, it's the size of two Walmarts, you know? I mean, there's just so much stuff in there. and they have all the servers in the back.

Sandwich counter is relatively small. It's very small. It's just right up front near the exit. Sandwich counter is sort of the size of Lucy from Peanuts Therapy. Yeah. It's sort of like going to Narnia. You enter in there and then you can't. They have it somehow so you can't see from the outside the rest of the store.

And you go in and you can't believe. Yeah. It's a whole world back there. Just saying. So I'm sorry about that part. But I do think that was to answer a question about how your language. have been stifled about it. And I think I want to just go back to that.

Yeah. That there must be a few other examples. There must be. Well, there must be. Listen, I'm just saying, I'm just saying. I'm trying to establish a pattern here, Bernd. Because, like, usually that's what I'm trying to help the person. I'm not arguing with you.

Okay, okay. No, I didn't think you were. I was just sort of, you know. I wasn't questioning anything. I was agreeing with you. I was just sort of talking. Okay. I thought I was supporting your speech.

You have the right to express yourself just like everyone else. That's right. That's true. Okay, so then wait, hang on a second. You know, now I just want to change it up. I want to, first of all, find out what it is you do for living. I'm an amateur radio, DJ. An amateur rodeo DJ?

Radio, radio. Oh, radio. Sorry. Amateur rodeo, DJ. Well, if you put the emphasis on the E, yes. It's not my first rodeo. It's not my first rodeo. Rodeo?

Yeah, I've been known a DJ a few rodeos. Oh, really? This is what you do for a living as you're an amateur radio DJ. What does the amateur part mean? Well, I'm very new at it. Okay. And where can we listen to you?

102.1 dignity files. Oh. Well, that seems kind of like, that sounds like legit. I'm not familiar with it, but. No, it's an established station. Yeah. Used to be a pirate station that got promoted to

legit status. Got promoted to captain. And now, you know, I only have one segment and it is called just son. And it's sort of, I just say, my points of view, that people may or may not agree with, you know. Oh, so then are you getting people like writing and complaining about that? Okay, so maybe. You know, people really don't want to hear my theories and my interests about the height of food.

And they also don't want to hear about, you know, the fights I have my girlfriend. Oh, no. Tell us about those. Oh, well, you know, she's a beautiful lady. Okay. Her name's Lucille. Aw. And we met at Burger Bourne.

You did met me at Burger Barn. We made a burger born. Yeah, we were all, we were both sitting on patio. Uh-huh. It's cute. It's these, it's these, you know, it's these chairs that are shaped as patty's. Yeah, patio, get it. And they're warm.

No, they're warm. You sit down and they're, yeah. You sit down and they pipe in a sizzling sound. Yeah, Kim Mitchell sang a song about it. Oh, yeah. Padio lanterns. And we were, and we were. met under them lanterns you know we met under them lanterns uh and uh and and in the glow of that

you know i saw her beautiful face she had long red hairs and two two braids like winnie oh like winnie like winnie is you okay but you but i mean when you hear me say wendy's we're an agreement on the place right or is it different okay okay just want to make sure just saying she looked like winnie and she was real beautiful she meant she spent like a burger she'd been eating them burgers Okay. Oh, so she's... She's been eating so many burgers. She smelled like a burger.

And that's what I like. Oh, okay. That's what I like. Absolutely. 100% all-American beef. That does seem like a lot of burgers to eat. It does. Enough to where you're sweating it out.

Yeah, I mean, I think she was also taking a little mustard put inside her wrist. Oh, sure. A little ketchup on that. Yeah. Absolutely. You know. Oh, so she was treating sort of the meat juice as an essential oil. Absolutely.

Okay. And man, was it essential to me. Oh. Essential in my attraction to her. Okay. And so, yeah, so far I can't imagine why a listener would have a problem with any of that, really. It's kind of sweet. Just keep going.

So you're mad. Okay. Okay. You know, it's star beautiful. Okay. You know, we move in with each other and, you know, it's just sort of domestic, little domestic disputes. You know, the same thing when you're living. You know, I said I wanted to, I said I wanted our bed to be one of the circle beds.

Oh. And I want a pile of really how a duvet's, absolutely. Green, orange. Right. And then a couple pillows, circle pillows that were green too. And I want the mattress to be brown. And I want the sheet to be beige and the bed frame to be beige. So we're slipping in a big burger.

Right. And she said, she said, no, I don't want that. You know, burger's a big other part of my life. I want my sandwich to look like, I want my sandwich to look like a pizza. You said her sandwich or her bed. Her sandwich are her bed. I want my bed. Well, we call the bed a sandwich.

Oh. That is kind of cute. That's pretty accurate. You call it you get in between the bread. You become the meat in the sandwich. It's true. Listen, you know. It takes all kinds of kinds in this world.

That's so true. It's so true. And so we get in our sandwich. Miranda Lambert said. Brackets. Brackets bed. And she wanted to look like a big pepper under pizza. And I said that.

So she wanted a tapering triangular shape for her bed. Yeah. Yeah, she wanted our feet to be hanging off the side. Oh. Or our heads to be really close together, lots of room with the legs, I guess. Or you have to sleep. Wait, say that again. Or our heads to be close together, lots of room with the legs.

Or upside down. Oh, upside down. Because I was thinking if you lay down on that mattress, you'd have to just sort of arrange your body like you were going down to water slide to sleep comfortably. Yes, exactly. Yeah, I got to stick in my arms. But I like the idea that you said the legs. Like a Dracula.

Like a Dracula. Like a Dracula. Like a Dracula. So then that was the first five. Would you say that was the big first fight about the burger bed? And listen, you know, happy, happy, happy home, happy home. What's that? Happy home.

Happy home. Yeah. You know, people say this. Yeah, it's on pillows and signs. I have a question. Did you ever discuss maybe, did you ever discuss maybe getting, you love meat that's high, you know? So why not get bunk beds? And then you can sort of pile the middle, you know, with a lot of pillows and then you can get someone can be on top and then do that.

big back, but you know what? That's the right. It's not round. Two all beef mattresses. What? It's not round. I know, but he also said that he wanted a tall sub, right? A tall sandwich.

Now, wait a second. Are you single? I am not. My husband is in the other room. Okay. Betrothed. Why did you ask? I mean, listen, happy home, happy home.

So I'm feeling sort of like that's a really good. That's a good direction. You like the idea? I like that idea. See, he likes the idea. I have to, I do have to pause, though, because Paul did say that he was furious when he was offered a submarine sandwich rather than a traditional square bread sandwich that goes to the ceiling like shaggy, some scuba do. Okay, but then, okay, but that could still work with a bunk bed, right? You got a sort of a square.

They don't have to be. They might as well be round. What are we doing? Stop yelling. How about circular bunk beds? This coming from the person who can't eat square food. This is... Joan.

Well, I think... I can't eat square food. Really? It's true. It's an affliction? Yes. Yeah, it makes me sick. You can't, you can't have a big scurby-day sandwich? I can't.

You can't have an ice cream sandwich. I can't have an ice cream sandwich. But not if it's cut a half. If it's rectangular. Yes, I can't have... You've been through it all. I can't, if you make a... I can't have a Klondike bar.

And you do anything? thing. What would I do for Conachbar? Get sick. Okay. All right. All right. So maybe that's not the greatest suggestion, obviously.

But a circular bunk. I like the idea of circular bunk. Yeah. Circular bummed. I don't even know. And then it's just structurally safe. It's kind of hard to get up to the top. The letters curved.

Well, you can have a ladder on a on a, on a, above ground pool. Yeah. You're going to have a fire pole in the middle of it. Spiral staircase. That's cute. I like that, babe. In the center of the Between the two buns

Oh is it in the middle Now you're sleeping on a dough night I thought it was around the outside I thought it was around the outside Wow babe, okay That's a tight spiral You're right You're right

Now you have to sleep together Like a yin yang A yin and yang Oh and you know what I think that's why she was so upset Now that I'm thinking about it I think she wanted I think she wanted you know

She wanted a pizza bag because she wanted to be really close. She must be really close together. Yes. She didn't want to be so far apart like on a burger bed. Yeah. Okay.

And then did it just kind of go downhill from there? Or, you know, are you still, you're still together, I'm imagining. So there's still something worth fighting for. Absolutely. You have good days and bad days? Yeah, I mean, if I could tell y'all. Sure.

I think I'm going to propose. Whoa. Wow. From that story to proposal. Well, you know, when in a relationship's on a shaky leg, commit harder. Absolutely. that'll fix it

Mm-hmm That's what I think It was that or a kid So Oof, I do think it's best To save that For if there's trouble In the marriage

Exactly Yeah Sort of a just You know Big duct tape Fail safe Yeah exactly Wow

Okay I think I want to propose I think I'm gonna take her I'm gonna take her I'm gonna take her to A pasture full of cows Oh Okay

I say you know These cows one day This is take her back To where it all started Exactly Yeah The seed from which the flower grows Uh huh

And say these cows one day we're going we're going to grind them all up and be fat it's very romantic bunch of them we don't there'll be a bunch of different cows in each paddy it won't be one cow yeah that is true it's not something we think about often enough nope of our listeners really remember that park yeah let's take a moment to all think about that how when you eat a burger you're probably eating 70 different cows oh god well definitely it's been burger bar because they're so big absolutely Yeah, probably 140 cows in that one.

So I guess this is the question I want to come back to, is that you. 290 maybe. So isn't that, we don't they have a special burger barn burger that is a 290 plus and that it, that informs you that there's more, that's the number of cows. It's the only one where they will reveal the number of cows. Yeah, they call it the 290 plus. And it comes in a wrapper with. pictures of all the cows. Yeah.

Yeah, it says today you are, it's sort of at like that lush when you know who packed the product. It says today you are eating and it's like Daisy, Melba, you know, shows all the cows. I can't go in there, Paul. I'll be honest. It's like toxic fumes to me. It is like, I don't know. That is the most aggressive soap

I've ever experienced in my life, that place fresh. Do you know what I'm talking about, Burns? I thought we were talking about the burger bar. You were talking about fresh, right? Pell. Lush. Oh, sorry, lush. What's fresh? Fresh is a different thing. What's fresh? There's just like a cosmetics line.

Is it ripped fresh? Yeah. Fresh? It is. Fresh. It is. It's, you know,

you can get it at Sephora. And it's supposed to be, I think it's supposed to be one of the sort of cruelty-free ones. And it's a lot of lip. It's a lot of bombs. But the soap is aggressive? No, no, no.

Now I'm talking about lush. I said the wrong S-H word. It is. Are women still saying fresh when they encounter a masher? A masher. A mash. I need to know what a mat, you mean? I just know from old cartoons.

This is, that's what I was referencing. Well, you know. Yes. But what is a masher again? A masher is someone you would, who is, they're being fresh. I never knew that. Where does that come from? Don't get fresh with me, boy.

Like that. Exactly. Fresh. Uh-huh. You know, that's what. A masher. See, I'm more confused by the masher part. You've never heard that?

Never. I've just heard it from moldy old cartoons. Wow. Well, you know, my, my girlfriend Lucille sometimes say I'm getting fresh with her, but that's when I, you know, take it upon myself to go slay the cow, which will be in the beef of later that night. That's quite fair. Oh, wait a minute.

You slay your own cows sometimes. Do you own cows? I don't own any. We're just normalizing the term slay. Slay. I just don't shame. We don't shame on this podcast and I never want to. We don't,

but I just meant like it's an industry term. Yeah, well, what I'm doing to him is slaying. Oh, dear. Okay. Perhaps I should have taken a little bit of a pause for slay then. We should have held space for slay. And I don't. I don't own any cows.

I'm just slaying a cow that I can get my hand on. Touch his spanking. You said you're holding space. Oh, that's beautiful. I took the crooked of his finger and pointed it. I mean, I thought it was like a crone casting and stuff. A crooked wish's finger.

I thought I was being singled out or that I, or that I spilled on my shirt, even worse. You thought it was the rigid finger of blame? I thought it was the rigid finger of blame. You thought he thought he thought you were getting fresh. That's right. And all I was really trying to. talk about was the place lush that has all that

that's so bad that I don't like it but I really took us far afield yeah this is one I okay so now we need to now we need to address the sleigh of it all um so and I'm assuming it's not like okay so you say you're slaying the cows I am and it's not a sleigh and it's sort of a

brutal and gruesome end do you wow is a sword involved and sometimes sword halberd axe oh not a halberd Oh, halberts. Oh, Helbert. Oh, Albert.

Oh, Albert. That's slay the cow, Helbert. Wait, so do you own land and cows? What's happening? No, no, these aren't my cows. Oh, dear. I'm sneaking in in the dead of night. No.

No, not the dead of night. I'm swinging two sides around my head really fast. And he is. He just swung them. He just, he just. That was impressive. Yeah. Yeah, I have like, like, 36 chambers.

I have a three-prong nunchook. 36 chambers 36 chambers I'm hung up on the chambers Is that what it's called? That Kung Fu movie Oh I've not seen it Oh yeah yeah

I got a three prong Nunchuk I'm swinging around I thought it was a reference To how many hearts a cow has I wish The heart's the sweetest part Oh dear

So you eat the heart of the cow Yeah That's one of the layers In the Big Tall burger The Corde de la cow Wait So how many This is

I don't like the French You don't like them Across the board I don't like the French Why is that? And keep in mind, you have the right to express yourself just as I do. I'm just saying. I bet it's because he doesn't like Sue Veed.

He doesn't like his meat that way. Is that true? You don't like Sue Vee. I don't like Sue. She's mean. Suveed. I'm not a fan. Wait a minute.

I really need to get back to this. How many, this is a problem? How many cows do you suppose you have slayed that are not yours? I would say. What's your body cow? I say about. about, um, 85, 100. Oh, good.

85 was a lot. 85 was a lot. Wait, and it was a lot. Wait, and in a, this is, this is on a, this is, the scale of this is insane. Well, I'm just trying to make a burger the size of a vertical billboard. So I'm, I got to have 8500 cows so I can stick them up real high. I sometimes wheel it out to the billboard, check the size. Oh, so this is an ongoing project.

You wheel it out to the billboard to check the size. I just want to walk through the logistics of that for all. It's a big wheelbarrel. It's a big wheelbarrel. And you got the meat stacked up. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's trying to see, you know, it's the same size. Where are you storing the meat in between measuring?

Good question. One room in my house is the bedroom. That's where the burger or pizza slice is. It's the house you share with Lucille. With Lucille. And then every other room is refrigerated. Oh, no. Every other room refrigerated.

So I can keep it anywhere. This is not even a separate building? This seems very. And I insulated. I take the leather from the cows. I'm insulated. My whole house. Oh, wow.

No, white with black spots or white with brown spots. Sure. Sure. Jersey Holstein. I'm a little bit shocked. I'm feeling a little bit. I mean, what you're doing is criminal. I mean, this is.

I think that it is. I think it's illegal. And I also wonder why. I want to know the order of things. Did you start doing this and then make the post? Or did you make the post and then start doing this? Thank you. So I made the post and then I started doing this.

Because I wanted to take, I was not impressed. You took matters into your own hands. Exactly right. Because I have the right to express myself. So I also want to get something straight. You slay all these cows and then you make your own burgers. But you still go to burger bar and it sounds like. Yeah, I'm checking up on them. But like to eat there.

Yeah. I mean, it's where Lucille and I met. We have nice memories there. Seems a bit redundant, right? I mean, he's killing all these cows and then still goes someplace else to have a burger. Well, because he needs that meat in order to get it to the height of the billboard. So he can't eat the meat. Do you?

Well, sorry, maybe I don't. Please educate. Pull the car over. Well, if you're eating any of the meat that you create yourself. Yes. You're taking that away from the building the height to the height of the billboard. I guess, but he's just going to go kill another cow. I mean.

But it's going to take you that much longer if you keep. if you keep taking away from the meat towel. I guess that's true. But also now I'm just remembering that I, you know, it's like I just don't pay attention to agricultural news like I should. None of us do. None of us do.

We could all be better on that. You could be better on that. Let's all stop a thing about that for a minute. Was there a weird sound that just happened, babe? It went, badoom. Nope. Are you kidding? Okay, that's just me and my brain? No, I heard it.

Thank you, Paul. I heard of it. Thank you, Paul. I do hear it. Now I have to say, I have to say, that I have seen Now I'm remembering, like a little headline that I just sort of swiped past, right? About a shortage of cows, missing cows, these horrifying bloody scenes that farmers are finding. Yes. And I just would simply say, not for me, not my monkey, not my circus.

Yes. Yes, yes, yes. I remember it was on the news for days. I did forget about that where they were saying what is happening to the cows. And then there was an outline of a of a cow silhouette of a cow with a big question. A big question mark. They thought it was encrypted. that was that was killing them yeah it was making them disappear right because the the scenes were so

horrifying and and bloody yeah um and uh they thought aliens were here they thought aliens were here i have to ask did you go past city lines to to kill were they all 8500 in this town or did you go into other towns listen borders are borders are a product of the mine so i was going across city lines i was going next town over okay i was going next town north Eastern West I've yet to hit. So you've gone over, north, but you haven't gone east and west yet. Nope, those are the directions on my compass. Have you, I'm surprised that no one has been,

have you ever noticed yourself being sort of followed or do you think anyone's been investigating? I can't believe that someone hasn't put on the gate and has tried to get to the bottom. This is an insane amount of killings. I mean, I think people with cows would be on extra guard. Yes, this is all they're thinking about. Yeah, I mean, I've been followed. I've been chased with a pitchfork and a torch. But, you know, I look, once I'm slated.

A pitchfork and a torch. Just one person. Usually they come in a group. One in each hand. Just a one person mob. And, but here's the thing. I look pretty frightening after I've been slaying those cows. I'm covered in blood.

I got to look at my eye. I'm holding a big sharp object. You know, people are following me, but they ain't getting me. Yeah. Apparently not. That's for sure. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

And listen, at a certain point, I think they just acquiesce. They say, wow, you've killed. several hundred of my cows. I don't think I could stop you. And so, you know, I'm dragging them out by the hoofs. Oh, dragging them out onto my wheelbarrow, bringing them back out. And the people who are on the cows just watching, they just give up. Yeah, a cup of coffee standing at their fence.

Oh, now this is terrible. Like a nosy neighbor, watching me drag around, you know, 1,500 pound animal back to my Ford F-150, driving it back to Digny DeV Falls. See, I feel like. Oh, yeah, it was Ford Foundation before, by the Lord. Ford Foundation, yes, it was the car made for children to drive. To drive. You can't, it turns off at the border of Dundee Falls.

Yes, it does. And Helen Mirren did the commercials. Oh, this place is nutty. So, okay, I don't burn, I don't know. About the sewer covers. Yes. Doug wants to know about the sewer covers. I just.

I thought it was an apropos comparison. And the complaint was that that's what they look like, right? That's how flat they are. Yes, that's how flat there are? Here's a question. How in the world has any other business here that serves red meat been able to stay in business with 8,500 cows being slain? Well, because they use so much less meat than burger bar. I guess.

And that's why their burgers are so flat. Yeah. You mean like they have they even gotten more flat since you've been killing more cows? Those, here's what I bet where you're coming from. Those burgers are so flat, probably all of their burgers come from one cow. Sorry, Byrne. I just thought that would be fun. Do you know what?

Let's restart because that would be fun. Oh, goody, okay. Other than burger barn. Baby, you have to chime in, too. Get ready. The burgers and Digny Falls are so flat. How flat are they? They come from one cow.

Oh, was that your Johnny Carson? Was that a reasonable approximation of Johnny Carson? It was very physical. I wish everyone could have seen that at home, but it really had the fink. Oh, that was fun. That was fun. That was fun. We did that.

Well, Paul, I think we are running out of time. I don't know. To be honest, I can't, my brain won't think of any other questions past this admission from Paul of this horrifying massacre. I guess all I can say is I get this bovine aside. We'll give you a 20-minute head. start before we call the police? Yeah, that's fair. Okay. Don't admit it's fair. And before you go, is there any

other just sayings you want to get out there? Either burger-related or non-burger. Yeah, absolutely. I got a couple. Oh, good. Go for it. Why do we park on the driveway? Oh, boy. And drive on the parkway. Just saying. Oh, this is going to hit Doug right where he lives.

It's going to love him. How come everybody How come everybody keeps their self these days? We should be having more community. We should be more talking to each other. And we should be not sort of, you know, calling the police on each other, even if there's a certain amount of cows that feel like maybe too many cats.

That started generic and then that got specific. Yeah. Just say. I was with you in the beginning. Okay. And we have time for three more. Good. Yay.

And one more? How flat are they? Can we just do one more? One more? How flat are they? Okay, thanks, Bert. How come, how come, you know, I bet the Pringles man, the Monopoly Man related, they both have a monocle. Just saying. Okay. I don't think that's true. Pringle Man, Pringle Man have a monocle?

I don't think he does. I don't think he doesn't have a monocles. They're one of their mustaches. How come Bringle Man, the Monopoly Man? The Monopoly Man, I don't even think, has a monocleman. I think that is correct, babe. I think that it's only the peanut that has the monocle. It's only the peanut. She doesn't dignify him with his, the piece. She's never liked Mr. Peanut.

I knew it. I knew it. Babe, you never liked this. You won't give him the title. You won't give him the honorific. He did not work for it. Sometimes she says that peanut. He's a nepo peanut.

The peanut. With disgust, you said that. The peanut That dastardly nut Okay, two more Okay, great Um Yeah

How come everybody It's already good How come everybody How come everybody want to have How come everybody want to have How come everybody want to have How come everybody want to have blonde hair don't they say don't they say

blondes are stupid just saying okay last one if I'm having more fun but I'm stupid it's sort cancels out right oh

just say does that count as another one please oh sure we'll accept it and of course we'll end with a

house ladder are they oh goody here we go the dignity falls hamburgers are so flat

these days How flat are they? Oh, boy, babe. Come on. We didn't do that last time. Sorry. What's going on? I thought we had to repeat.

Let's start again. One, two, three. One, two, three. How flat are they? They're so flat. They're competing on the U.S. gymnastics team. I like that one. I like that one.

Listen, you have the rotten expression yourself. Just like you do. Johnny Carson misogyny. classic Johnny Carson massage. You were really wiggling your finger when he said that one. He really did. It was great.

All right. We're laughing so much, but I'm truly horrified about this story. And I just want to be very clear about it. We're having a great time. But let's be clear. You're a nightmare, Paul.

And thank you for being here. And a monster. And you have 20 minutes. Okay. And there he goes. Wow. He's a hauling ass. There's a hymised shape,

a hole in my, in my backyard window. He did a reverse Kool-Aid, man, he went out. All right, we will return with the Dignity Falls podcast, the neighborhood listen when we return.

Hello, this is Patricia. I've got a Barbie dream house here for $80. It's in good condition. I say good, not excellent, because my daughter's been living in it For the last three years, she's 24 years old, I'm telling you this generation. I finally had to kick her out.

I served her with an adorably tiny eviction notice, and I said, I can't, I can't do this anymore. Okay, somehow she's, she's raising my electricity bill through the roof. I don't even know what's going on or how that's possible. There isn't a light bulb on this thing. But, uh, I said you're literally too big for it. You're too grown. Get, get out of the house, the Barbie house, and my. come get this. It's $80.

And welcome back to The Neighborhood Listen. Well, that interview took a turn. Yeah, that story was chilling, but I do want to just say, I want to give Paul a shout out that, weirdly, I got a little, I didn't notice that Paul had written me a note while, um, really? Well, yes, um, before he ran away. Did see where Gabby was? It didn't.

Oh, okay. It just said, it's too much so forth. It's weird. It just said, and I don't know how, because I don't think, you know, he, because we don't make our guests listen to the first segment. So I don't know how he knew, but all the notes said was,

come from away is the shortest Broadway musical. Wow. And I thought, how amazing he had that knowledge. I wouldn't have paged Paul as a person who is a musical theater file. Could you read the note word for word? Yes. It says, come from away is the shortest Broadway musical.

Okay, that's all it says. Yes. So it's not necessarily that he wrote a note for you. Might have just been some doodling and just a thought. Yes.

Might have just been a bunch of random words strung together that actually made sense to me. I don't want to go that far, but it is a strange coincidence that he would have that information really strange. Written down.

But Paul knew. Paul was right. I have to give at least that to him. Yeah. I don't even know. Confirmed. Perhaps, maybe. Oh,

should confirm you think i should confirm i mean i forgot okay all right fine we probably should spread information from a mass murder of cows if this podcast about anything it's never spreading misinformation and we are always right about we have issued corrections when necessary um all right well i look it up and you read the last okay all right all right it's gonna take me too long for one more post okay so this Doug what's going what are you doing sounds like you're sharpening nice but are you still in the scratch room? Oh yeah, I'm sharpening my scratcher. It's going to be a good one. It sounds like it's going to go too deep into

the skin. Yeah, that sounds incredibly sharp, babe. I think you're taking it too far. I think you're taking it too far. You think I've gotten desensitized to the pain? Yes, I do. I really do. It does sound that way. All right. I was waiting to sneeze,

but that didn't happen. Oh, no, go ahead. Well, but it's not like that. Oh, I see. Not like that burnt. I just can't do it. So one thing I can't do on stage, a sneeze on command. Is that a common demand? Well, you have to be able to do anything on stage on command, right? A real sneeze?

Well, I mean, sometimes you're having to play a scene where you're sick, sure, and you've got to sneeze, but I can't do it. It's very hard to sneeze for real. Well, I mean, I do my best. I try. No, I know, but I was wondering if it's common for directors to want to. a true sneeze. I think so. I think it really is. Anyways, here's the post. Here's the post, Bert. It's from Sharon. It says, it's great to be here. And then there's a little hi emoji.

And it says, I'm Sharon. And my favorite spot in the neighborhood is off the boat on cashew and Jefferson. And I, I'm trying to figure out which establishment Sharon is talking about. First of all, it's strange. That's the whole post. So she says, it's great to be here. And I guess she thought maybe she just is supposed to share her favorite place in town? So this has the vibe of the first neighbor hat post. It really

does. Yeah, because she says it's great to be here. And that just seems like a strange way to introduce yourself to everybody. It's great to be here. It's great to be here. And here's my favorite place. And here's my favorite place. What is she assuming will meet her there? And also favorite place for just in general or for a specific purpose?

That's also a good question. lot of follow-up questions here. I guess I've never thought about my favorite place generally. Do you know? Like of all the places I go that I enjoy, what is my absolute favorite place?

And that would tell us everything we need to know about your personality. Yeah. Yeah. Now I could be wrong. We all could be. Oh, sorry.

There's more. But now, now we have the bar, which I can't quite remember the name of it now, which is on a gimbal that sort of simulates a boat that is rocking back and forth. Right. And I can't remember what it's called. I can't remember what it's called. We talked about it

several episodes ago. They changed the name a lot. So is it, is it that? Because I had heard that they were thinking of changing the bar from you just roll around to you actually roll off into a pool and then you can get pool service. That's right. So they did it for the summer.

Yeah, they go, But nothing until you roll off. So it's, yeah, so it's like it's fine because you start off having like a normal. You have to show up in obviously like any clothing you don't mind getting wet and everyone knows it's going to happen. Right. And they made it sort of like, this is the outdoor part now and you're on the deck and it starts, you know, all of a sudden someone starts yelling, you know, like, oh, I don't know, batting down the hatches or something, you know, something themed like that, vaguely pirate themed. And the, and the gimmick goes back and forth. Hold on to your hooks.

Hold on to your hooks. Hold on your hooks. Typical pirate-themed expression. The pirate-themed stuff. But then now this time everyone slides and they make you, I mean, like, they will get you off of that deck. The thing that bothers me about off the boat is that they serve parrot, which I think is, is, it is legal here. I looked it up. Yes, totally legal.

I mean, who, who? I think it's terrible. Parrot squab. Parrot squab. You know, and it's weird, too, because it's called, when you're eating it, they'll still have, like, a voice called Cracker, want to Polly? You know, like backwards. There's, because one of the servers will stand over.

It only does that if you're white. It'll stay. It's so sick. It's really sick and twisted. It's sick. If you're a white patron there, you get served the Parrot Squab. The server then goes behind you. The Parrots Squab.

The server that goes behind you. behind you and when you put up put a fork in it then the server will go cracker want to pile and then you turn around they walk away they do they do now I have to very quickly say oh that um in trying to find the musical with the shortest runtime oh okay yeah that was your job I cannot believe how difficult this has been I'm glad you did it I would we'd have been here all day if I did because you will also get results for the musicals with the shortest runs, which is not the same thing.

And you put in running time? Yes. Oh, that doesn't make sense. You'll get that. And then you'll get, here are some of the musicals with the shortest run times. I want the absolute, who know, the shortest run time.

There wasn't some theater nerd on Reddit that had an immediate answer to that. I'm so surprised I didn't shoot to the top. Even on Reddit, even on Reddit, you go to that. Even on Broadway Reddit? And they say, currently, Six is the shortest runtime of 80 minutes. Okay.

Oh, that might be true. Six is this very fun, you know, it's like all the Henry the Eighth's wives and, but it's like they're all in a girl band. Look, that's fine, Joan. Oh, okay. But it says currently, what is the all-time one? I know. I understand.

I mean, it's a simple question. There should be a simple answer. It is a simple question. No one's asking about currently. I'm not, and no one's, and no one's arguing with you. I'm not wrong, right? And I feel your anger. I absolutely get it.

Because every other thing that you would look up like this, you would 100% get the definitive answer right away. If you looked up a sports stat, it would tell you who's run the most yards. Yes. Even a dumb AI is general about it. Yes. Well, one of these is very short. Give me the one.

Yes. Says the original. Just saying. Oh. Joseph in the amazing tennicolored dream coat was originally penned. Sorry. What's happening? Well, it's just a gigantic truck with like a huge amount of boulders in the back.

No, truly, you should look at it. It's insane. I don't even know how he's backing it up the street right now. It's like these gigantic, anyway, we've got to do a lot of editing here. Sorry. It was really distracting. Babe, what were you saying? Go on.

The original Broadway production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamco in 1982 also ran slightly shorter than 90 minutes. Joseph was originally banned by Andrew Lloyd Reber and Tim Rice in 1968 and was their first musical to ever be performed. This performance happened at a boys' prep school in London and was only 25 minutes long. Okay, first of all, babe, did you think that you had to say the shortest musical in the shortest amount of time? You really were rushing through that.

You really sped through that, baby. Like there was a clock ticking down. You said Andrew Lloyd-Ribber. I've been watching- I didn't go back to correct it. I've been watching micro machines commercials. Can you imagine being called and what if you were born and your name was Andrew Laid Reber? How do you go through life?

You'd be, well, first of all, you'd hate your parents. Doug, when you say you've been watching Micromachines commercials, is there a vast amount of them? I guess there were quite a few. At least three. Okay, so you're done. No, just re-watching them over and over again.

You're parsling the mouth. He's got a big screen in the back scratch. He watches TV while he's scratching his back. Oh, sure, sure, sure. Who wouldn't? So he's got those on repeat. Okay, so we're saying that it was 25 minutes long, but that wasn't the final Joseph

and the amazing touch. No, I said it was the first one. Okay. All right. Well, I appreciate you looking that up there. I do appreciate it. Well, it's still, we'll have to, you know what? The next episode we'll have a definitive answer.

Yeah, we will. Here are some answers. Come from away and six seems to be sort of like the, they're in the lead right now. You know what I feel like? What? What? Eating a meat, sandwich.

Notice. All right. Well. Dig. It won a mitt. sandwiched tis. Oh, no. Now it sounds like New Zealand.

All right, we will have to wrap it up here. Thank you all for listening. If you would like to get ad-free versions of these episodes in our entire archive, or if you'd like to get access to our bonus episodes, you can go to CBBWorld.com and sign up on the Maximus tier and you get all that stuff. And, of course, we're very excited to be going back to San Francisco Sketchfest in January. January 18th, I believe, more details as we receive them. And is there anything else you can think of? I think that's it. I think that's it for us, yeah. Okay. Well, thanks, everybody. And until

next time, goodbye. And bay. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed. The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins. And me, Nicole Parker. And me, Brett Morris. This episode's guest was played by DJ Mousner. The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang World. Go to CBBWorld.com to unlock the entire history of the show, ad-free, as well as brand new full-length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maximus subscribers. Your support keeps the show going.