The Neighborhood Listen - Dead VCR with Demi Adejuyigbe

Episode Date: October 29, 2024

Burnt and Joan discuss the hotly anticipated Pharmacists' Parade of Dignity Falls, while Doug chimes in from above. Later, Diana is looking for a new VCR and will accept no substitutes!Want more TNL? Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for the Maximus plan to unlock access to all seasons ad-free, as well as brand new exclusive BONUS ROOM episodes adventuring deeper into Dignity Falls every month!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website. Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad-free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of The Bonus Room, go to CBBWorld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership.

And now, please enjoy this episode of... The Neighborhood Listen! Knock, knock. Who's there? Your neighbor. Good! And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen! Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor! Good! In Dignity Falls, you're never alone You've got the Neighbor Half App and us!

Bert! And Joan! From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell We'll cover it all And meet new neighbors as well We'll chat about any posts you're missing So just tune in to The Neighborhood Listen. Welcome once more to The Neighborhood Listen.

This is the podcast that looks at the neighborhood of Dignity Falls. And who better to look at it for you than us? I love it when you go off the road and you look deep into my eyes and I just look right back, just waiting to see what comes out next. It's fun.

It is fun. We have a good time. We really do have fun here. And who are we? Oh, you might ask. You might, one might ask. My name is Bert Mia Paide. I am the pharmacist in...

I had a tough time. I'll explain why I'm a little frazzled. I'm the pharmacist in chief at the Dignity Fallsmasy. I mean, that's a mouthful to be fair. It is. It's true. It's true. And I'm Joan Pedestrian, and I'm the top realtor here in Dignity Falls. That's right. We are friends.

Oh, yes. Why did that go up at the end? Was that a question mark? I was thinking of adding more and then I couldn't think of another thing. I was going to say we're neighbors, but we don't really live next door to each other. We don't. I mean, we live across from each other,

just right here in my kitchen, across the island from each other. We are alive. You really. That's true. No, we're in front of each other a lot. Almost like we are neighbors. That's true.

Anyways, what happened to you that you're talking like this? I'm a little frazzled and that's why we're in front of each other a lot, almost like we are neighbors. That's true. Anyways, what happened to you that you're talking like this? I'm a little frazzled and that's why we're recording later than we usually do. We're recording. We are, yes, yes. Because we're getting ready for the pharmacist parade. Oh yes, every fall, because you know, Halloween's coming up and there's a pharmacist parade. We've talked about this before on the show

and it really is very, is one of those things that's specific to Dignity Falls. Yeah, and people care more about it than Halloween. They really do. So the pressure's on. And the pressure is on. Yeah, weirdly not much going on for Halloween in Dignity Falls.

I mean, they tried to get the candy wrapper man going. You know, they built a gigantic 10 foot candy wrapper man. From last year's Halloween candy. And then burned it. Yeah, and then they burned it to the ground. candy wrapper man going, you know, where they built a gigantic 10 foot candy wrapper man. From last year's Halloween candy. And then burned it. Yeah, and then they burned it to the ground. And we, it's a way of, it's a way of keeping the crops thriving. Um, and I, but, but people just don't care this year.

And I asked, I asked kids, you know, if they come to the pharmacy or whatever with their parents and I say, what are you going to dress up as for Halloween? And they say, I don't give a shit. Oh no, that is really, no, I didn't know it had gotten that bad. Three different children have said that to me. And the mother is the parents are horrifying. A three to ten. A three year old said to you, I don't give a shit.

That is bleak. That's bleak. I'm saddened by that. And then they, well, then they started asking me about the pharmacy and how many- And they just care about the prey. How many pharmacists are going to be there? What pills we're giving out, you know, all that stuff. What year is it for the parade this year?

This is our 30th year. Wow. So because it's kind of an anniversary- Oh, that's a good, that's a fun anniversary, yeah. Yeah, we have to really do it up. And you know, we're bringing back a thing that we haven't had in quite some time, which is the mummers, the pharmacist mummers, where we, some of the guys and gals will put on these festival outfits with big feathers and they'll play banjos and it's banjos and saxophones.

Banjo saxophones. Oh yeah, the banjo phone quartet. The banjo phone quartet. And we do a special dance, you know, we're kind of parading up and down the street. Of course we're building the floats as well. Yes, the floats are really the, what do you call it? The coup de resistance? Nope. The coup de resistance. It's the coup de gras or the piste de resistance. I just combined the two. It is later. But yes, that's really what, that's the big ticket item, I would say that. And there is a pet costume parade, but you must dress them up as pharmacists. That's right. That's the only rule. That's the only costume. Any kind of pet. Any kind of pet. Any kind of pharmacists. That's right. That's the only rule. That's the only costume. They can be any kind of pet. Any kind of pet.

Any kind of pet. Any kind of pharmacist. Yeah, any kind of pharmacist. But as for your recognizable pharmacist. It does. But anything from a dog to a fish. Sure. If you can get a little lab coat.

If you can get a little lab coat on a fish, sure. Sure, that's what we say. You know, people don't dress up their fish that much, do they? They just really don't. They really don't. Like I see on Instagram all kinds of animals dressed up in all kinds of costumes. Cats, rabbits, guinea pigs.

I've never seen a fish in a costume. It's got to be really complicated. I mean, how are you going to get it to get still, you know, then it has to be waterproof and then you have to secure it somehow. It's true. But I mean, there's got to be, you could just hold it under a faucet. You know what I mean? While you put the little jacket on.

I think I know what you mean. A little jacket. Well, you put the little jacket on. I think I know what you mean, a little jacket. Well, here- And then you put it back in, then he's swimming around in a little jacket. Here's hoping we got a lot of fish pharmacists out there

for the parade. Fishmases. I'd love to see some fishmases. So now you have done almost everything in the parade. You've ridden the floats, you've ridden the miniature ponies for several years. That's right. And- I mean, last year was crazy You've ridden the floats. You've ridden the miniature ponies for several years. That's right. And they, it was, I mean, last year was crazy

cause your feet were just dragging. I mean, that was a very small pony. It was so small. And I was very worried about him. It was so, and I thought, It was like, at this point, shouldn't you just get, shouldn't you carry him? Yeah, I thought he was like a miniature, miniature pony.

I think he was a mini, mini. He got reduced, yeah. And my, and the, the, the, the toes of my shoes were just wrecked. Those shoes. And, you know, but you know, he was the last one that finally all dead. That finally what? All dead. All dead. Yeah. What does that mean? All dead. Oh, all dead. Oh, I thought you said he was the last one that all did. No, he was the last one. They're finally all dead. Oh, I thought you said he was the last one that all did. No, he was the last one that finally all dead. I was hoping that you weren't saying the word dead because we talk about animals that die way too often on this podcast.

Well, that's what they do. Butterflies died in my house a couple of weeks ago. You can't get upset about butterflies dying. How long do they live? An hour? What kind of a thing is that to say to a lady? What is what is to a lady? What is a butterfly's life expectancy this afternoon? I don't know, but they deserve to live however long that span is.

I agree, but I think most of them die by windshield, don't you? Oh, good lord, windshield? How many monarchs do you see splayed out in front of a Volvo? Don't make me count them, Joan. I'm really tired. This is very dark. I know you're tired. So what are you going to be doing in the parade this time? I get to drive the

last Ford Foundation down the screen. Of course the Ford Foundation was the car that was only allowed to be driven by children. That's right. That's right. It was specially engineered to be driven by children and children alone. And they got it was a bit it's crazy because it was a huge campaign. They got Helen Mirren to do the voiceover for the commercial. It only aired in Dignity Falls. That's right. It was only, it was a car that was only available in Dignity Falls.

It was, they tried it out here. And obviously when children started driving these things, it was a problem. It was crazy. And the, and the cart, the cartoon, the commercial was, was so, it was very dramatic. You know, she's like, one, two, buckle my shoe. Three, four, slam the car door. Five, six, learn to drive stick. That's right, Doug. That was unfortunate, that one.

That of course is Doug, our engineer, who is, where, where, where? My husband, hey babe. What room are you in today, Doug? I'm actually not in a room today. I'm outside. Oh, are you doing decorations? No, I'm washing the windows.

Oh, I'm repelling the windows. Repel, what? I'm in the window washing. Oh, he's got the whole thing. Even though we only have two stories from the outside. On the inside, we have so many rooms, but we only have those two stories, but he wanted to be on the, what babe? We might have some more stories. At this point.

This is new to me. What are you talking about? Since we started recording? I know you've dug so many tunnels down below our house for the caves and the canals and all the different rooms we have. What are you talking about? I thought it would be cool to have sort of a tower. Sort of a tower. I'd like to try. So, so can you explain to me where the tower is and how tall it is, babe? Great question, Joe. Thank you.

The tower, I tried to get dead center and the roof. Dead center. Yeah. Okay. It feels like a good starting point. Is it, does it surround the chimney? Cause the chimney is pretty dead center. What's happening with the chimney? Your chimney is dead center. It is dead center. That's not typical, but it was, it was one of my dreams. I always grew up wanting a dead center chimney. Yeah, because your fireplace is in the middle of your home. Exactly.

That's right, it's the heart of the home. But it's not even in a room that you spend that much time in. No. No, it's not. It's in the laundry room. So you'll build a roaring fire between the washer and dryer. It's a problem with all the lint sometimes.

Yeah, it's a fire hazard. What did you say that? It's a beautiful big hearth. Yeah, but you can walk into it. You got to be careful. It's like from a medieval castle. So the tower is how many stories? I guess it's not dead center.

Just wanted to make sure that you didn't knock down the chimney. No, no, no, no. Didn't knock down the chimney, but I'm just building up like a very thin tower and it's starting to lean. So I'm going to call this the leaning tower. Oh, no. It's starting to lean means you did it on purpose. You're going to call it the leaning tower of this household. That fits on a T-shirt.

I'm open to other ideas. I, I'm glad to hear that, babe. Because I do think we should workshop a few more. Okay. Well, let's think about it and then by the end of the show we'll come up with a few pitches for you, babe. We'll pitch some, yeah. Sort of a, is it mother goose sort of situation? Is it?

I need more. Me too. You know, those like those houses in the story books that kind of have a crooked old, you know, sure. You're thinking of like a, like a stove, top pipe look on a chimney. Like you're talking about like old London. Lincoln of course wore a stove top pipe hat. Love that stuffing.

I do love stuff. I know you do. I really do. I know you do. It is very, very good. Yeah. Well, that not leads to my question because the, the, the, you know, the croutons get soft so it's not a candy square food. Yeah.

But once it's soft, it's sort of a cubes anyway, they're cubes. Not the same thing. It's not the same thing. Three dimensional makes a difference. Uh, so what are you and Gabby planning on doing for, Is she going to be a part of your girlfriend, Gabby? Is she going to be a part of the parade? Well, she'll be on duty, of course, in case anything goes wrong. Oh, in case anything goes wrong, right. But you know what I thought is she really wants to get into the entertainment industry. She wants to be like maybe a presenter or a host.

She could ask to host, you know, they have the local news team sit there at the table and they comment on everything. And she should probably try to get that job. That'd be kind of fun. We've talked about it. She wishes she could, but of course those people are hanging on to those jobs. I know. For grim death. No, really, it's true.

They, I hate the way they carry themselves. I know. They really do think they're really it. You know, I was going to swear swear but it's too early in the podcast and Doug doesn't like it when they do. What were you gonna say? Well I was gonna add you know an S and an H at the beginning. Shilling. You know what I mean? They think they're the shit. I love how a three-year-old can say it in a pharmacy but I can't say it in my own home. Because it's Colleen Kilpaki and she is just, and no one knows how old she is. be already she could be 80 she's been doing for as long as I can remember she's been the anchor yes and Patrick uh mcpatrick patrick mcpatrick yes and they have been doing it for I don't know for I was gonna say 50 years but

it's only been 30 years but they really did the initial one it's been nobody else it's been it has been decades yeah and they're just smug yeah You know, and to be honest, I don't think they bring anything new to it. So I would love to hear Gabby come in and hear her take on the, on the, on the floats and everything. I think she would be great. I would, you know, even if she were to replace, uh, uh, what's his name? Sam, Jort, the sports guy, cause he doesn't add anything. He doesn't. All he says is that's right. Yes. And he's really leaning hard on just the, on the, on the, the rhyme of Jort and sport, because that's mostly what he says.

Yeah. He manages to fit it in to every sportscast. And he said he doesn't do it in an artful way. He just says, and of course my name Jort rhymes with the word sport. Yes. He literally will just say, Hey everybody, how are you doing tonight? Jort rhymes with sport.

That's just what he says. It is crazy. He doesn't make it into a clever, fun thing. Nope, not at all. And at the parade, all he does is say, that's right. So they'll talk and talk and talk, and then they'll say, Jort, and he'll go, that's right. And then they sort of shake their heads and continue talking.

And that is, it's so boring. And what's weird is they're telecasting it this year. Yes. On Peacock, I think. That's right. If you have the streaming platform Peacock, you'll be able to see the Dignity Falls pharmacist parade. You know, they really scaled back on, you know,

scripted shows this year. So I guess they just, they needed to fill it. They need content. That's why my twins, Matt and. Bleep bleep bleep. Bleep bleep bleep. Bleep bleep bleep. Oh, Matt and bleep bleep bleep have a pilot on Chick-fil-A.

How's that going by the way? Oh God. Well, they're in post right now. Grooling process. It really is. They're in post right now. Grooming process. It really is. They're in the, they're in the editing bay all the time. And they try to, they talk to me like I'm an idiot. They're like, mom, you don't understand, you know, this, it takes a really long time and it, it's an art. There's an art to it. It's so rude. And, uh, you know, listen, I just, I'm just happy they're seeing something through that.

That's all I can say to be honest. It's the. To be honest, it's the most work they've ever done in their entire lives. True, that's true, isn't it? And so I just know the shoe's gonna drop at some point. The other one, I mean. Oh, the other one? Yeah, the other shoe. So if one shoe has already dropped.

Yeah, both of them are gonna be gone. For a second I thought you were anticipating two shoes dropping, you knew that the first one was about to drop. Nobody ever talks about that. No, no one ever does. What about if one has already dropped? Nobody ever says one shoe dropped last night. I don't know when the other shoe is gonna drop,

but eventually it's going to happen. You know, that is a good point. Oh boy. What a weird expression. It is, it sure is. Why are people dropping their shoes? Yeah, and I picture someone, you know, just from where, why are they dropping them and what,

you know what I picture? I picture the Wicked Witch of the East, you know, and her ruby shoes disappearing, and then the black and white striped tights curling up in Wizard of Oz. Why were they called slippers? They were clearly a low view. It drove me crazy.

I think Frank L. Baum called it that in the beginning. That's probably why. Oh, okay, okay. But yes, slippers, I guess because you slip them on, but you know, slippers are, you know, what I get every year from Doug. Every year, Doug? Every single year for anniversary, birthday and Christmas. You have three pairs of slippers a year, every year. So he had to build me a slipper room. Do you get,, that makes sense. Yeah, sure. I mean, I got, of course I do. You know, there, I do think that he takes a careful time. You know, I've seen him actually. I caught him one time. You do take a careful time. He takes careful time. And you know what? I caught him once, um,

in a Marshall's and he was looking at a whole shelf. That's the only way you can be found in a Marshall's is caught. Listen, don't dis-marry. They have fantastic deals, Burns. Sure they do. Women my age love to go there. No one wants to be seen there. Even though they have a step and repeat in our Marshalls. That's wild.

I don't know who they think they're gonna get. To me, Marshalls is almost like in the old days of video store, the pornography section that would be behind the saloon doors. Of course you would hate if anyone that you knew saw you there. Oh, sure. Well, he wasn't, I didn't let him know that I was there, but he was looking at a bunch of, uh, he was looking at it. This was weird because it was a Christmas gift,

even though I could tell it was like a Thanksgiving, it was Thanksgiving time. And they were a turkeys, turkey slippers was really strange. Was this a Black Friday? Yes, I think it was. So they must have been, and they're turkey slippers? They're turkey slippers. The price must have been through the floor. I mean, that must have been a deal. I never heard that description. That phrase either, through the floor.

Black Friday, turkey slippers. Did they look like, did they pay you to take them? Well, they had a little anyways, they had little eyes, they had little faces and I could see him lining all them up. What he does is he takes time to take careful time to look at each one and get to know the personality. And I could see him sort of cock his head and look at one made him laugh, chuckle at something. I don't know what it was. Can I say that this is a terrifying tableau. I just picturing it in my mind. It's very sweet. I'm glad that you think it's sweet. I guess I'm having a different picture in my mind of Doug with this murder of slippers. Is that when you call a group of slippers?

A parliament of slippers. I thought it would be an unoriginal of slippers. You know, because people think it's a non-original gift, but not with him because he, again, he takes careful time. He takes careful time? That's our Doug. That's our Doug. Hey, are they doing the big pill bottle at the parade this year? Of course, we absolutely will they doing the big pill bottle at the parade? Oh, right. We absolutely will be doing the big pill bottle. Is there a waiting list still to get on or is there no way this year?

Right. But babe, are they doing anything you can stand? Right. Well, so what it is- They're going to keep it open all night till the last person on the waiting list gets to get in there. Yeah. It's a big pill bottle and you get to get in it. It's motorized and you scoot, and you can go towards people that are waiting alongside and just shoot pills into their mouth or into the crowd. And it's very fun. But it's we're going to have another pill bottle, which is it's a pill tornado. And what happens is

you get in there. It's like the machine where it blows the top. That's the one I was thinking of. This is pills around. Oh Oh, Pills Around, got it. I wasn't aware of that one. It does sting a bit, but you can end up walking away with thousands of dollars worth of medication. I was thinking of the one that's more, almost like a bouncy house where a bunch of people get in there and they shake the pill bottle all up

and you're all flying around. These all sound like good ideas. I'm sure that they love to hear that. That one was outlawed. The law finally caught up with us and we can't do that one anymore. And then of course they have a prescription handwriting contest. And if you can read the prescription, that's right. If you're bad, you can stump the pharmacist. That's how it goes. Yeah. The only rule is you have to write actual words. And you have to be honest about what you wrote. Yeah, it's sort of an honor system.

And the prize is pill bottle of your choice. That's right. And the label's removed? No, hold barred. Label's removed, you have no idea what's in there? All right, well, how long have we been going, Doug? Okay. The process begins.

Yes. Let me rappel down a little bit. Cleared his throat for it, oh, because he's Yes. Let me rappel down a little. Clear his throat for it. OK, now I see the clock is outside. Yeah. His equipment is down on the ground. Thank God. 1912, 1912, 1912. Are you standing on one of those board things or are you? Yeah. OK. You're not just outside of, you know, a corporate office tower.

Exactly. Yeah, we're with you. We're with you. Outside of a corporate office. Right, except this one's leaning in all these different directions. Oh yeah, it's the house with the, it's the, what is it? It's the tower that leans. Leaning tower of this household.

Leaning tower of this household. That's the one to beat everybody, so we're gonna think about it. But wait, why are you on this thing again? Washing the windows. That's, you're washing the windows. Yeah, he just, he's always loved. The tower is a separate endeavor. Correct, I think so, right? Yeah, cause you washing the windows. Yeah, he just, he's always loved. The tower is a separate endeavor.

Correct. I think so, right? Right. Yeah. Because you mentioned we had two stories. I figured this might be a good time to let you know. We have more stories. More stories coming. No, I just, well, that's for sure. And they'll be coming after this break. More stories, DK. We will return with the Neighborhood Listen when the Neighborhood Listen returns. neighbor listen when the neighbor listen returns. Hi everybody, it's Ziani Cat, parentheses Aries, free. Aries is two years old and is turning three on Halloween. He loves to sit on your lap while you go to the bathroom and we'll talk back to you if you meow at him. He is not neutered but does not mark

and he loves making biscuits in his free time. Ares is super loving and considerate. He will sit and look at you until you are ready to give him pets. He loves chilling and is good with dogs and other cats, kids as well. He's a great color companion and loves singing when you play music. Ares is awesome. That's why I'm giving him away for free. Welcome back to The Neighborhood Listen Well. music. Aries is awesome. That's why I'm giving him away for free. Welcome back to the neighborhood. Listen, well, Joan, it's happened again. We have a guest.

I'm so happy to hear that. As we do every episode, we bring on a guest from our neighborhood to talk to them about something that they have posted on the neighbor app. This is the social networking application for neighborhoods. And if you have seen an interesting post on the neighbor app. This is the social networking application for neighborhoods. And if you have seen an interesting post on the neighbor app and you'd like us to maybe track down the person who posted it, why don't you screenshot it and send it to us.

Did I say screenshot? I think my brain heard screenshot because I hear you say this all the time, but maybe when we play it back, it'll sound like screenshots. My brain heard it, but my mouth made a different sound and I could tell that it did. Can I share an observation? Please do.

Oh, please. I had this weird sense that you weren't making sense or that it was about to, something was about to go wrong. Oh, you had a premonition. You had a fighting sense. Premonition. And then I was paying attention and everything you were saying was perfect. I had a premonition that I was paying attention. Everything you were saying was perfect. I had a premonition that I was paying attention. That's spooky.

That's something he just said. You were making sense and then something did happen. Then it came true, he did pay attention. And then you did say something, something went awry. That's wild. Wow, it really is. All right, so we have- What I was saying was, if you see an interesting post in the NeighborHab,

screenshot it, send it to us at bernandjohnatgmail.com. And this one comes to us from Diana. Diana. Diana posts in the in search of section. VCR needed. Good morning, Diana continues. My VCR died. Does anybody have one they no longer use?

Thank you. Diana goes on. This may be a duplicate posting because I can't tell if my first one got posted. That's not quite the energy. I, it was a bit more. Would you like to read it? Oh, sorry, Diana.

You know, we've run into this a couple of times because I suppose it makes a lot of sense that we're bringing you on to help us understand it. So you might as well give us the reading. It's hard with text sometimes. It sure is. Very and I so it really I guess it should read more like, good morning, oh my VCR died. Oh does anybody have one they no longer use? Oh no this was the state you were in when you posted this. I was very dismayed it was one of the worst days of my life. Oh my god really? To be perfectly honest, because what do I watch now? Oh, right. And then sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. Continue.

Right. And then I go, thank you. Then the rest is normal. This may be a duplicate posting because I can't tell if my first got posted. You calmed down in the middle of it. You significantly recovered. Yes. There's a bit of a line break there because at that point I've gotten all the emotions out and I'm not as concerned about the duplicate posting. That is, I don't care if I made a mistake. Can I ask Diana? I know, I love that, own that, I love that.

I love that. Thank you. Diana, how long was it between the initial part of the post where you were very distraught and then, well, okay, here's what I wanna know is, so you were distraught, you send this out into the world. Yes. Right? It goes out to the world.

Well, I mean, sure. I mean, anyone could, if they, well, I suppose only people in their own zip code can actually see it. I think now you can actually see other people's neighborhoods. Oh, you're kidding. Okay, fine, it goes out to the world.

I am kidding. So you send it out there, and then you have a feeling, wait a minute, did I post that or not? Well, to be honest- Oh, I see what you're saying, Bert, because yes, why did you, did you have a memory that you posted it already? So I type it all, right?

And then I finally, I hit the send button and the phone starts acting up and it does the little spinny thing. And I'm confused at this point. And so I asked my nephew to come over and help me. And he does. And what's his name? His name is also Diana. Oh really? Okay. Very confusing. I just, I just

Is he named for you? I hope not. I don't care much for him, but he knows he understands the technology. Okay. So I, and I don't, because it's confusing to me, I just say boy, and I say, boy, help me with this. And he does. And he says, I have to type it again.

So I type it all again to the best of my recollection. There might be some differences. And I press send and it does the thing. And so I add maybe a duplicate posting. I don't know if my first one got posted. Can I ask when you had to type it a second time, were you just as emotional in the beginning? More so.

Oh, even more so. You! Even more so? Interesting. You know, they say time heals all wounds. That is not sacrosanct. Sometimes time only makes the wound worse. Good to know. Absolutely. Yes. And you know, days had passed between these two postings. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Right. Well, so I typed the first one, about three hours passed before I finally managed to dictate everything I need to say. And I hit it and I think, OK, well, now I wait. And what am I to do in the waiting period?

I have no films that I can watch, just a growing shelf of the finest films. On VHS. Is this an OK time to ask, do you have cable? Do you have access to? Thank you. I'm sorry, cable? Like, OK, cable television. You're not familiar?

I, well, so, okay. I'm, I think I'm vaguely familiar with the idea, but I, I don't like to, I work chronologically. So I intend to get through the movies and then I'll start on the television. Oh, you're going to watch all existing movies first. And then you're going to start watching television from the beginning? As much as I can. And here's the thing though, you can watch all the movies that you have on VHS now on television.

Well, I can't because I lost my VHS player. Oh, no, no. What I'm saying is a lot of them would be on something called Netflix or you could rent it on something called Amazon. You could you could cast it up onto your screen. I think maybe I'm going too fast. I know. Yeah, I yes, I realize that. So so that that's that's the thing is that the VCR really isn't used that often anymore. No, not so much.

I guess that's why you had to ask. Well, then how do people watch films now? Right. Like I said, there's well, before you say this, I should clarify that the reason I'm doing this is because I received a spoiler in a film and I want to avoid that. Oh, how did that happen? Can you explain? Well, so there I am watching, you know, I decide, sure, I'll let Boy put on a movie this time. And he chooses a film. I don't recall the title. I was very bored. I simply left the room. But I come back in and they say the phrase, here's looking at you, kid. And I ask, boy, what does that mean?

And he tells me it's a reference to a film called Casablaca. And so I'm like, well, now, now, okay. There's a film called Casablaca that I will no longer be able to enjoy because I'm hearing another film reference it first. And he tells me, well, this happens all the time in films. Sometimes they reference films from the past. And I think that is not okay because I have no control over what you have no control over what films I've seen. What if I watch a movie today and then I watch the next movie tomorrow

and you spoiled it for me? That's a good. So I have no control over the film. I think you were just addressing the film industry, right? Exactly. Yes. Yes. Yes. I'm talking to the were just addressing the film industry, right? Exactly. Yes. Yes. I'm talking to the bigwigs at RKO, United Artists, at MGM. And I'm telling them all, you don't know what I've watched. So stop stop writing things that are in reference to other films that I may not

have seen. OK. And I decided the only way that I can beat them at their own game is to watch it all from the very beginning. So I went in chronological order, chronological. So like you mean the first talkie movies that there ever were. I started before talkies. You went to silent silent. Started with the train one. Terrifying. Sure, sure. Terrifying. Yes. Coming right at the screen.

Yes. You know, I worked my way through the classic A Trip to the Moon. That's right. Wings. Having Dr. Caligari. Eventually saw Casablanca. Didn't care for it. Did you, at any point in this, did they pronounce the name of the, of the, of the place in the movie? Casablanca? Many times. Okay. So yeah, it's, I don't want this to be a shock to you, but yes, it is generally pronounced Casablanca. When they were referring to Casablanca in the movie, that also was the title. Oh, you thought it

was something different and you thought, what is this Casablanca? the movie that also was the title. Oh, you thought it was something different. And you thought, what is this Casablanca? I assumed it was a sort of- When are they gonna talk about Casablanca? Yeah, I assumed it was a sort of sneeze, a sort of aspect. Oh, Casablaca. Perhaps a thing that they do in that part of the country

that I was just, well, I don't want to- That part of the country. I see. Right. Like a cultural thing, yes. Yes, I was, I don't know, you know, everything's different in every time period. Very true.

And I don't want to assume. Everything's different in every time period. Everything's different in every time period. Very true. And I don't want you to assume. Everything's different in every time period. Everything is different in every time period. So I simply said that's not how we say it and I moved on. Okay. Diana, can I ask you this? You seem to not like all the movies. That's right. But do you watch them all to their completion or do you sometimes turn them off and say,

I don't want to watch the rest of this? Well, I insist on finishing them all to avoid spoilers, but I will not lie, there are times where my attention drifts to something a little more fun. Sure, you said you got up and left Boy to watch the last movie by himself. Yes, sometimes I go into the yard and just watch the dog spin around. Really? Now what is that? Why are they spinning around? I never ask. Okay. Sure. What? Could you describe it? You know, sometimes you go into the yard and you see the dog and the dog is tethered to a pole in the ground and just start running around chasing a chasing a fly or a squirrel or some sort of thing. Oh, I see. I see. And you know,

they they've managed to entertain themselves just by running around and I go and I watch and I think every day maybe he'll catch that dastardly butterfly today and he never does. I mean is this your dog that you're talking about? Some say. Oh, interesting. I don't know how to respond to that. I don't either. I don't have a follow-up question.

A dog enters your yard, some would say it's yours at that point. Oh. Legally, some fight me on that. My neighbors are not happy, but I insist that it is my dog. So this dog showed up in your yard. You immediately chained it to a post. Correct. In the middle of the yard. Yes. And the post I already had.

You're sure. OK, fine. I'm not sure that's the same question. Are your neighbors upset because perhaps they believe it to be their dog? My neighbors are upset for a bevy of reasons, but I think what they in, you know, they they'll Alfred, Alfred at the dog, and I believe that they're mad because I call the dog dog. And they're thinking perhaps that's not, I'm simply not naming the dog properly. Correct.

But I... Sure, if they're calling the dog Alfred, it probably is their dog. Does the dog seem to acknowledge the name Alfred when they call him Alfred? Often, yes. The dog, upon hearing the name Alfred, the dog tends to try and dart towards the sound of the name. Oh dear, this is a little bit concerning. But he cannot make it on account of the change. Sure.

Yes. Well, wow, I really don't want to leave that hanging. I would really like to resolve that until for later time because I'm not comfortable with it. But can I ask you this? Can I get that butterfly? Well, I'm sorry, what'd you say? I mean, I think we know what's going on.

Wait, what babe? I was just wondering if I could get that butterfly. The dog was chasing a butterfly. Are you saying that you are trying to acquire the butterfly? That voice is our engineer dog. Sorry, yes. You can't see him. Sometimes I hear a voice and I don't question it.

I stop asking questions of the humans. Oh, well now I definitely want to ask about that. Well, again, I don't enjoy spoilers, so I figured the less questions I ask, the more of a chance I have of not being spoiled in any scenario. Do you live alone, Diana? When boy is not there, yes. Okay. So, and how old, may I ask, how old are you? Well, okay.

There's really no easy answer. Wow. There are no easy, you're asking a lot of questions. Big sigh and then okay. There's really no easy answer. There are no easy, you're asking a lot of questions. Big sigh and then okay. I am, and I know I don't look it, 27. Really? I'm aware every time people talk to me and they say, you couldn't possibly be a day over 15, but I'm not,

I'm 27. Oh, okay. I was going to say you looked a little older than 27, but. Sure, my family members insist that I, years of smoking have made me look 84. Years of smoking? Years. When did you start smoking?

Hmm, when was, well now. You have to go back by whichever movie you're watching. Yes, I believe I began smoking around the time of a giant starring James D. Oh, wow. Yes. You mean the time you saw that movie? Yes. Okay. Yeah. Which was in theaters. Well, but I don't think you could have seen it in a theater since it was in the 50s. Well, there was a rep screening. There was a what? A repertory screening. Oh, what's that mean? I don't know you should have.

It is when they show a film from the past in theaters currently. Oh, sure, you know, we have the old movie theater. Yes. The old mill. Yes, the old cinema mill. It's a converted steel mill. It is, yes.

Barely converted. They're just like a screen in there. That's where I used to work. There's a screen in there, but people are still working actively. During a lunch break, they were like, let's show a film. That's right. And it just so happened to line up. It is very loud. It is very hard to hear the movie.

Yes. I used to work the butter mill there for the popcorn. The butter mill? Yeah. Yeah, it's just a tiny little mill. All the concessions are mills. Sorry, that wasn't a question. It was an exclamation. Again, questions, I don't do that. I remember July, they worked on milk.mil

Yes, she did. There's there's many a mill in the they're all mills. They're all mills. Yeah, I love a mill Oh, who doesn't I mean who doesn't but but so we okay So you saw it there but what I want to know and I know what first movie you saw it was the one with The train I knew you started when did you start when what? What age you were when you started this movie journey? Let's see, I'm 27 now. I must have been, I must have been about eight. Okay, so then I am going to do what I normally don't do,

which is make an assumption, that you were living not on your own when you were eight. Okay, thank you. Who were you living with when this journey began? Well, I was living with my mom, my mom, my papa, my brother, my two sisters my papa, my brother, my two sisters and our dog. Big family. Yes.

You did have a dog. What was the dog's name? That dog's name. Oh, the family like to call him Bebo, but I insist on calling him dog. Oh, of course you did. I don't. That should be a pattern. That's sort of your MO with dogs. Yes.

There's only so much space in the brain for names. As in boy. That's right. Sometimes you forget a name and you can ask a question. True. But then, perhaps what if they say, oh, my name is Hal, you know, like from 2001, A Space Odyssey. And then I've lost more information that could be gained from a film. Oh, so the reason for your lack of social interaction with people is the fear of constant

film spoilers. Correct. That is tragic. But have you seen 2001 of Space Odyssey? I have now, yes. Well, I saw, I want to say it was about two and a half, three years ago. I finally saw the film. So what decade or what year are you on right now for films? Before you lost the VCR.

Well, it simply stopped working. That's the most tragic part of it. So I was right in the middle of the first VHS of Titanic. Oh boy. Now I hate to say it, but of course, this is a spoiler you should already know about, right? Given history. What? What do you mean?

Well, Diana, this is a true story. Don't, don't. What's a true story? Titanic? Not the movie, but what actually happened to the boat. To the ship. Okay, well I will learn when the film concludes. Oh dear. You've never heard anything about the ship. Okay, well I will learn when the film concludes. Oh dear.

You've never heard anything about the ship, the Titanic, before now, before seeing the first VHS. You're kidding. No, why would I have heard it? I mean, why would I have heard it? I mean, the reason the movie was a hit was because... You know what that means is she has not made it to the sixth sense yet, either.

No, I only have five senses. You're telling me there's a film that I watch where I acquire a sixth sense. I believe the Sixth Sense came out before Titanic. I wasn't sure, because I remembered- I have not seen a single film called the Sixth Sense. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm pretty sure it was around, we could have Doug check.

I thought that was 96 and Titanic was 97. I'm pretty sure Titanic was around- Sixth Sense is 99. There you go. Titanic, pretty sure Titanic was around. Six cents and 99. There you go. Titanic, December 19th, 1997. The next film I will be watching is Tomorrow Never Dies, the James Bond film. Again, once I complete this film,

when I get to the second VHS, but so far, you know, they've boarded the boat. Oh, dear. They're, you know, and- Yeah, where does the first VHS end? That's a good question. I didn't even get to the end of the first VHS. They've boarded the boat.

Oh sure. It takes a long time. It's a lot of setup. Sure. And again, this is the part I really want to tell you about. While I know that there are some people who are purists who love watching something on, you know, they love a vinyl or they love watching something on VHS.

Correct. You truly can. Right now, if you signed up for something called cable, they would come and install a box in your home, and then there would be many different, well, what would you call them? Streaming services. You don't even need cable.

You don't even really need cable, that is correct. And you could rent, okay, well, not Doug's guy. This is one of Doug's famous, I have a guy situations. To just get combo over there, he'll install it. Not combo. He can free anything. He'll do it. It's not worth it. Combo cuts corners.

And that's what I always say. Combo cuts corners. Triple C. I'm intrigued by the prospect of this person. I don't want to get down the combo path right now. I don't want to get lost in the weeds with combo. What I want you to know is that at this very moment, you could go home, order these services and you could watch Titanic without a VHS. Isn't that incredible?

And without interruption. I feel like she hasn't really sort of made, I understand it might be too much, but isn't that incredible? You don't need a VHS anymore. I'm having recollections of this concept you talk about now. I'm really remembering about two weeks ago I watched a film called The Cable Guy. Is that similar to what's going on here? Because in that film that man was very brusque, he was very rude, I don't want any services

like that. He was also crazy. Very, very crazy. So I don't wish to engage with anyone like that. Combo says he's not crazy. Yeah, very, very crazy. Yeah. So I don't wish to... He's like combo. I don't wish to engage with anyone like that. Combo says he's not crazy. You don't... Of course he does.

Oh, okay. You don't have to... Well, then that settles it. You don't have to deal with any sort of crazy gentleman at all because do you have a computer at home? Oh, there you go. No. Oh.

My sometimes boy brings over his computer, but I insist on not looking at the screen. Oh, let me guess. Do you have a typewriter? Why do you insist on not looking at the screen. Do you have a typewriter? Why do you insist on not looking at the screen? For fear of spoilers. Yes. Okay. Let's say I'm walking to the bathroom and I glimpse at the screen

and he's watching Tomorrow Never Died, right? Now I've ruined the message. So you know that it is possible to watch these films another way. Oh, what an interesting reveal. I'm saying perhaps he has hooked up a second VCR player to his screen to watch Tomorrow Never Dies. A whole two hours ahead of me. He is shunting Tomorrow Never Dies from a hidden VCR to his computer.

Okay. Perhaps. I don't know. I've seen him watching things before and I just, I ask no questions. Here's the thing. If you were to invest in a computer, much like we can't even get into like Apple TV or Roku, because I think it's too hard to explain. Too much, start simple. Apple TV. I know, and it's not what you think. It's a company.

You don't know what I think. Okay, tell us what you think. I do not know what you think. I believe it to be a screen that simply showcases the various varieties of apples. Well, you were right about a screen. Okay. You were right about a screen. So maybe that's not, assume what I believe.

I'm sorry, you are right. I am sorry, Diana. Thank you very much. If you were to invest in a computer, you could watch films directly from the computer, no VCR involved. That's right. And you never have to switch over, if it's a long film, you don't have to switch over to another computer. no VCR involved. That's right. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Now here's another question. Where have you been getting all of these VHS tapes? Great question, Joe.

Well, every couple of days, I give Boy a check for it, about $10,000. Whoa. Every couple of days? Every couple of days. And I tell him to go out and procure a specific list of films for me. OK.

So you're paying him just to get a list, not even the films? No, it's, you know, parts. Oh, to procure the actual, OK. Parts and labor, all included. Here's to those, find me a list of movies. Yes. I have completed the list. Yes.

Okay. Got it, got it. And I tell him, all right, here are the films that I wish to procure for this week. And, you know, I sent him away and the next day he returns with the films. And in what form? VHS. Somehow. Okay. I guess he's just, boy is just tracking them down probably on eBay or something. I still think he's making a lot of

money. He's making a pile of money. I don't think this is a good setup for you, Dianna. I don't believe he's making any money. I know how much- How would that be possible? Well, I know that film is, it's very expensive. Oh yes, but to rent or back in the day to rent a video was only a couple of bucks, right? I mean, and then now you don't even have to rent a video and at the same time if you rent something on say Amazon It is again only about four or five bucks I know and you know what I'm realizing how strangely named all these companies are From the forest and you think my guess of Apple television is strange I do appear the fool. I do appear the fool in this scenario

What's next? Is there another one of these services named after like a bird, like a peacock? Is that, huh? Oh yes, actually my sons are going to be appearing on that is strange. How about Netflix? Now that makes sense. Not to deceive me. Because it's through the internet and it's a flick. You know, you call a film a flick. So a man comes to my house and flicks me on the forehead from the internet. A flick like a movie, Diana. Have you ever heard of a called flick? Of course I have. He comes to my house and flicks me on the forehead from the internet.

Yes. Now, Diana, how are you compiling your film list? I'm looking through television guides, TV guide magazines. And that wasn't a giveaway when you were real like, you didn't make the connection. Oh, if they're in the TV guide, that means they're on the TV. You know, I assume the TV of TV guide is, here's a guide of things that you can see on your TV. But I think Diana also considers anything that's on TV

to be TV. Yes. Oh, right. And what we're trying to tell you is that a movie can be put up on your TV. But then, the VCR is connected to the television. Is that not correct? Well, I understand the VCR connection to the television. Is that not correct? Well, I understand the VCR connection to the television.

I'm saying anything else that appears on the TV that's not from the VAC. The thing that's coming from the television itself that you didn't put up there, that counts as television, not a movie. I understand the distinction between television and film and mini series and short form content. Oh, look at you.

Short form content? Wait a minute. What do you mean, how do you know these terms? Like perhaps if someone makes a short film and puts it on a VHS, but I understand that a feature film is a film that has a minimum length of 40 minutes. And anything else? I didn't even know that to do, Bert. Well I'm going by film festival rules.

Wait, what? 40 minutes? Film festivals? Yes. What do you believe to be a feature film length? Well, at least over an hour. That would be foolish. There are films under an hour that simply you must see. I didn't realize you could release a 40-minute film and it's a feature film.

You can do anything you want in this beautiful world. Well, I like that. That's what we're trying to tell you, Dianne. Exactly. That's what we're trying to tell you. Iianne. Exactly. That's what we're trying to tell you. I'm aware that I can do anything in this beautiful world. I've simply chosen what I wish to do. So you are aware then, I'm so confused.

I am too. Okay. What do you mean? Well, you are aware then that you could have, this entire time you could have been watching your film content in a different way. That does not depend on a VHR. Thank you, yes. I'm aware that other people do things other ways.

I've asked people not to tell me anything of the ways. Okay, why? That's a spoiler? It might be. Let's say, oh, I'm talking to a friend of which I have none. Oh dear, I was going to ask that. Now, let's say I'm talking to a friend and I tell them, how do you watch your films? And they tell me something like, oh, I was just watching a movie on, let's

just make up a name on Fridge, Fridge, Fridge Box, you know, Fridge Box. Yes. And I, and I started asking about Fridge Box and in the conversation, they say, Oh, Fridge Box is wonderful. The, the moment, the moment in Scooby Doo on Hawaii Island, where Scooby Doo finally makes peace with the native population is a beautiful definition on Fridge Box. And now I've ruined an entire host of films, an entire medium of film animation for myself, simply because I had to ask questions about the next medium.

What? Diana, I have two questions. I have so many questions. I know it goes back to when you were- Why don't you write them all down? Let's write them all down. All right, go ahead, ask your question about Scooby-Doo, because I'm going to be on something else.

What was the source of the issue between the native population of Scooby-Doo? I've simply made up a film. Oh, you made this up, okay. Yes. All right, that's good to know. Well, it's really good, Bernie, God, you hooked. I wanted to know more. All right. That's good to know. That was really good, Bernadette Gott, you hooked. I wanted to know more.

You really needed to know. You were on the edge of your seat. What was the source of the conflict? If I had to take a guess, knowing his proclivity for eating foods that he is not to eat, I imagine he perhaps went to a luau and ate some food before it was time

for the people to consume. Oh, sure. Sounds like classic. True faux pas in any scenario, but while they happen to be on Hawaii Island. So Scoob's too, he's on Hawaii Island, he shows up at the luau, he eats the pig before everyone else gets there.

Does that satisfy your question? It does, but it brings up another question for me. Have you ever thought about writing films? Ha ha, true, because you had, I mean that was a great pitch. You just came up with that off the cuff. Yeah, you did. Now, I, you know, so about, let you had, I mean, now it's a great pitch. You just came up with that off the cuff. Yeah, you did. Now, I, you know, so about, let's say,

at this time, it must have been five weeks ago, I would say. Oh. I watched a film called The Player. And, you know, there's a lot of talk of writing in that film. Yes. And I thought, interesting, I maybe could do that. Okay. But I would like to get through more films before I start doing that,

because what if I create a film and someone else has done it? You know, well, like I do have an idea for a film if I may. Oh, of course. So I'm a little nervous. So it's the year Let's not settle on the end. Okay. In the future At the very last minute very last minute the future, a man wakes up in his workplace and suddenly realizes that maybe the world he's in is not truly the world he's in, but simply the world he's been convinced to believe in.

And then he wakes up in a pod. Right? And realizes. I'm sorry. Would you hold on one second, Diana? Doug? Sorry, that was too much for me. What was that noise?

Did you fall, babe? No, that description took me out. I'm sorry, that was too much for me. What was that noise? Did you fall, babe? No, that description took me out. I'm sorry. That was so scary. Was that just a wordless cry of... So you're intrigued. Babe, but you know what? I'm intrigued and horrified.

You know that this is similar to an existing movie, right, babe? I mean, you recognize it. It is. Sorry. I'm wondering. I have an idea. Well, I do too. Could you continue? Sure. Doug, brace yourself. She an idea. Well, I do too. Could you continue?

Sure. Doug, brace yourself. She said it was in the future. It is in the future. Yes. So the man wakes up in a pod and realizes my entire life, I've believed that I was in sort of a one reality. And now I learn that I'm actually in a larger world.

And he unhooks himself from the machine and he meets a host of characters all dressed in like, you know, dark clothes, leather clad. And they reveal to him that what he's in is what he believed he was in is a world known as the spreadsheet. And they say you can either take this little pill and return to the world of the spreadsheet, or you can take this other pill and I'll show you just how far the rabbit hole goes. Interesting how everything is the same except for the title. Same as what? Oh sorry. Spoilers. But how in the world would Diana have come up with that without having seen? There's a movie called The Matrix. There is? Yes. Since when? Why are you so angry about that?

Because I don't know what films come out past the year I'm on. But that's not a spoiler, just a title, right? It's a bit of a spoiler to me. I like the surprise of seeing a title going, I wonder what story lies within. But I mean, you'll see that on the box. You see it on the poster, yes, you see it on the box. Do you get unmarked? Well, I haven't received the boxes yet. I'm still in 1997.

I know, but when you compile a list, then you're already seeing the names. Those are the names. Right. And I compile the list by year. So I'm stuck in 1997 and there's no film called The Matrix. The Matrix. There's no film called Demetrix within this list that I've created. OK. OK. She just said it the right way. But then she. I know she did. Now, here's my this is my time, finally, to then she... I know, she did. Now here's my...

See, this is my time finally to ask my question. It's my time. Ask away. You're clearing your time. Yeah, I will. Everything about your conflict with movies has to do with spoilers. And I am just wondering, was there one film, one seminal film that stands out to you that was spoiled for you?

And when you were a child living with your family, who got you on this kick of watching these movies? Was it your father? Was it your mother that sort of had this love and you bonded over it? I don't wanna, you know, now I don't wanna pitch an idea. But where does this fear of spoilers come from? It has to come from somewhere.

But as I told you- Joan, Joan, Joan, Joan. What, what? Great question. Okay, for me or for her? That was a great somewhere. As I told you. Great question. Okay. For me or for her? That was a great question. Oh, thank you. What did you think I said?

I literally thought you said one question. I thought you said, I didn't even hear the word race. Just an affirmation. Thank you. Okay. I'm so sorry, Dan. Could you answer the great question? As I previously explained, I was watching the film Casablanca, in which I realized as

I neared the end, oh, he's looking at you kid is going to be said at some point in this film, now I know. And I couldn't enjoy the film because of it. But you were watching that with, I thought. With Boy? Yeah, I thought so. Well, no, I was watching a different film and then they said he's looking at you kid. And Boy said that was a reference to Casablanca.

Casablanca. It's hard to say it said that was a reference to Casablanca. Casablanca. Casablanca. I would say White House. Why? Oh boy. Well, I mean, it's right there. So hang on.

Okay. Well now I'm confused. Could you still, okay. So you're saying that that was the moment? That was it. From that point on. I felt that was a recent moment as well. Well, no, I was, I was eight when that that occurred and then since then I that's when I decided

How old was your nephew? Let's see. He must have been at I presume 27 at that point He's an older nephew, but you're 27. He's a much older nephew. Yes. Oh, well my brother My brother, you know, we don't know. We don't know. So we need you to tell us. We don't know. We can't imagine. So well, brother was born. There's a large age difference between me and brother. Sure. It'd have to be as I was a child born, you know, through an affair on my father's side. Okay. And so I guess some call him half brother, but that's too many words to remember. So I simply call him brother. And now brother was, let me carry the one. Brother was 44 at the time

that he had a child, which then of course is a boy. And boy was about 19 when my father had his affair. And so, uh, my father must've been 74 and then I was born and eight years passed. And the rest, I believe this moment happened. Wow. Yes. That's my, I, it's a little, because of this later show, my brain's having a hard time following all the math. Um, but, uh, now you understand why I don't like to overload the brain with information of the future.

I guess, but. Which who designates spoilers? Yes. Yeah. Information of the future. Could I just step outside of the world of movies and ask if you have a job? No.

Okay. I mean, I was thinking it was gonna be that. So then how do you support your lifestyle of staying at home and watching movies? Every few days giving out $10,000 to your nephew. Thank you for it. Correct. That is the question. Well, when the accident occurred, father's will stipulated that I was to receive a lot

of money. Wow. And then when the second accident occurred, Mother's will also stipulated that I would be receiving quite a bit of money. So you're sort of independently wealthy. I'm independently well, very dependently on the two demises of my parents, but independent from a job, yes.

Can I ask what the accidents were? Is that too bleak? Well, I haven't found out yet. Oh no. So wait, you're treating those as spoilers too? Yes. But when do you plan to find out? Whenever I get to.

This happened in the past, Diana. Wait, are you saying that first you're going to watch all the movies, then all the television, and then find out how your parents died? Then all the news. Well, after, at the end of every year. That doesn't count as television? The local news? I think that Doug means he'll watch the local news channel.

Maybe there's VHS tapes of the news channels covering the accidents. Do you plan on watching everything via VHS? Yes, unless there's a better technology. We have explained it to you several times. You don't want to hear it. Tivo, that's not exactly what I mean. Tivo, I'll never Tivo. Tivo is a magical device that combo can solve for you.

You still installing Tivo in people's houses? Oh, yes. The best. He says it's like I told you, yet to be topped. He's starting to sound more and more like the man in the film, the cable guy. You're not wrong. You're not wrong there. Yeah, I would avoid him at all costs. I told you. Yet to be topped. He's starting to sound more and more like the man in the film, The Cable Guy. You're not wrong. You're not wrong there. Yeah, yeah, I would avoid him in all costs. Okay, so wait, I'm sorry.

You are literally, wait, is that what's happening? You're waiting to see all, Well, I like- How do you plan to find out about how their accidents happen? Every time I get to the end of a year, when I finish a chronological year film, I ask nephews to fill me in on the year's major events with you know.

You called him nephew that time. That's interesting. Boy or nephew. Nephew is a different person. I'm sorry. Oh that makes sense. Yes nephew is a second nephew. Okay. And so nephew comes over and I say nephew please can you inform me as to what happened in the year of 1996 and then know, as soon as Titanic finishes and tomorrow never dies and all the adjoining films. Sure. The remaining two weeks of the year, I intend to ask him what occurred in 1997.

And I believe it is, I will be finding out what occurred, the event in which killed my parents at the end of, I believe it's 2001. Oh, okay. Okay. All right. What's that response mean? at the end of, I believe it's 2001. Oh, okay. Okay. All right. What's that response mean? What's our, do we make our time?

Is that enough time? I mean, I don't, Diana, I don't know what to tell you because we're trying to make things easier for you. Sure. But I don't think you want that. Oh, what an interesting observation. I guess you don't know what's easy for you until things occur.

And then you realize sometimes in the past that maybe going a different way might've been the easiest route all along. But sometimes if you stick to the road that you've traveled, you find that you end up in the same destination. So it doesn't matter at all. Yeah, that wouldn't be the case here. Okay.

It would 1,000% be easier for you to watch things without a VCR. It really would. That's just a fact. That's just a stone cold fact. Yeah. And why did they do it for so long? Well, it was just because the technology developed. They used to just go see live plays. There was not even a film at all back in the day. And you still love those, Joe.

And I know I'm going to, I do still love those. I do still love those. So how do you make time for films? Well, what I'm going to blow your mind now too, is that they have something called AI and films are just being made with no people, which is really terrible. Yes. You'll get to that movie.

You will. You see. Wait, here's a little spoiler. Something about a If you drop me, I will break. What could that possibly mean? It's not a great film, Diane. You can skip that one.

See, that sounds like a quote from the movie Field of Dreams. Oh, what did you think of that one? Did you like that? Oh, sure, it was a 90s movie. Oh, that's right. It was fine. Okay. I didn't really relate to the whole enjoying baseball thing

or the, there's a lot of parent stuff. Okay. And I was just like not for me okay I find that whenever parents are introduced in a film I go this is no longer a film I can relate to that's huge well I hope to one day uncover the mystery of the the fatal accidents that killed my parents. I mean, honestly- And then make a fine piece. You could go to the library. You, yeah, I don't know if you're putting off

fine-missed out- Now, Diana, you know what a library is. Sorry, I misheard you. Okay. I'm aware of what a library is. All right, thank goodness. You could go look up the news, you know? Sure. Obituaries. I could do a lot of things. I could invent a device that allows me to watch films

on a sort of a flat surface, you know? I could invent a device that allows me to watch films portably from the comfort of a small screen, but I'm not going to, okay? Well, you don't have to, Diana. I'm now realizing that, because I'm thinking, well, but she reached out to us through email. She wanted to come on the show, but it was a boy nephew at Gmail was the address.

So they share a email address. Isn't that weird when couples do that? Are they a couple? They're cousins. Well, no, but I mean, I mean, there are couples of dumb dumb's that don't have much. Sometimes there's a couple that has a shared email address. Oh dear, is that a thing? Oh, no, I don't care a couple that I think that share email address. Oh, no, I don't care for that.

I've encountered a few times. Oh really? Very strange. Diana, yeah, I, I, I, we, we really have tried. Uh, I wish you the best of luck. I hope someone has a VCR they're no longer using that they can give to you. Because it sounds like you're not going to take our suggestions. It sure does sound that way.

All of these modern day, uh, uh these modern day tools that you can use. That have been around for decades. They actually now have, yes. Well, if they've been around for decades, then I'm sure I'll get to learning about them soon as they're introduced in the films I've watched. So you won't take it from us, but if they do come up in a movie that you're watching.

Well, then I'll be curious. I just have one last question, and I really don't want to get back into the back to the future of it all. But when you watched the back to the future movie, did you almost turn it off because you were worried that if they, I'm talking about back to the future two, because I know you've seen that one too. I know you've seen all three. Seen all three, yes. In back to the future two, were you concerned when they went to the future?

Did you skip those parts so that there wouldn't be spoilers? Great question, Joe! Now, I did not, but I am very curious to reach the year, I believe 2015, and see how much of it was correct. See if they really did get to Jaws 19. But you've lived through the year 2015. Sure. So- Don't you remember?

Did you get outside at all? None of those things happened. With the time I was having, there was no time to go outside. Yeah, I don't think she's gone. Is this the first time you've been outside of your home in like a while? Well, not entirely. Again, you know, every couple of days I go and check on Dog.

And you go to the rep, and you go to the rep screen. And I went to the rep screening that one time. It lined up with the schedule. Thank goodness. And so now you refuse to see new movies in theaters because there might be spoilers. There might be spoilers. Okay. Yes.

You're a very curious person. You really are. Let me, I have one final question. You know what? My husband loves my sense of... You're married? Oh no, you dropped this at the last moment. You said you live alone.

I do. He doesn't live with me. Where does he live? I don't know. I don't ask him questions about his life. I can't, I mean, we don't have time to get into this. What a bomb show. Diana, my final question is, your movie, The Spreadsheet.

Yes. Does it contain in it a character who talks like this? Well, I haven't fleshed out the details past an outline yet, so I guess I can. Does that sound sort of familiar? No. Mr. Movie I can. Does that sound sort of familiar? No. Mr. Movie Phone, what is that? This is a guy who has a secret knowledge of things.

You sound like Max Headroom. Who is this? I don't understand. No, I do not sound like Max Headroom. I take umbrage at that. Sometimes Bert struggles with certain impressions. Forgive me, but I do think I know who you're doing. Well, we're just talking about Santa. You know exactly who I'm doing. Yes, I know who you're doing. Well, we're just talking about Santa.

You know exactly who I'm doing. Yes, I know who you're doing, but I can't say it. I wasn't doing Santa. Santa sounds like it. Please say you know who Santa is. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, doing. But I would spoil something. Try saying Mr. Anderson. Do you have anything like that? No. How do you know who Wes Anderson is? Because of all the 80s movies that Wes... What's the earliest bottle rocket? I was thinking Wes Craven. I also know Wes Craven, of course. But wouldn't that be amazing mashup? Oh, Wes Craven, Wes

Anderson. So no, of course. But wouldn't that be amazing mashup? I'd love to see Wes Craven's Wes Anderson joint. And of course, you know, you only know Max Headroom from the film, Max Headroom, 20 Minutes Into the Future. Correct. Wow. Good job, Doug. The what? Not from TV, Max Headroom. I didn't know he crossed over.

He got a TV show. Is that a spoiler? Wow. I guess. Just snuck by there, Diana. She just a TV show. Is that a spoiler? Wow She just knocked by there with that one well anyways, she tried to sneak her husband by us and we don't have time to get into it So I wish you well out Foxed us sure have if you want a VCR and you want to call combo Just hold down the star key Able to get me a VCR. That's what I've been trying to say. Everyone shuts me down. Well, babe, we've been trying to bring her into the modern times.

You don't want Combo to suddenly enable her. Well, it's what, like Charlie Chaplin? We can solve the problem. Right, of course. A movie you've seen. A movie I've seen. Free 1990s. Don't ask me any questions about it, though. Been a while. It's okay. I haven't seen it, so I don't want spoilers. How about that, Diana? All right. You don't spoil me on the future.

I don't spoil you on the film. Modern. All right. Well, we should wrap it up because otherwise we're going to be here all night and it is already very late. Yeah. Well, Diana, you have the information from Doug about combo. If you want to get that, you have the knowledge, knowledge, knowledge is power. Hopefully it can get you what you need. Star? There's no star in my rotary phone. Star six, hold down at the same time for three seconds.

What do you mean hold down? She doesn't even have... Hold down? In what way? We'll explain this to Diana, but we're going to go to a break. We'll be back with the Neighborhood Listen when the Neighborhood Listen is back. This is Robin and for free a bunch of airsoft pellets. Maybe a thousand, all used about once, LOL. These were never shot at anyone I tried to make a pillow and I put a

thousand ass-off pellets in a bag lay my head on it it didn't feel good I learned something about myself that day I don't know how to make pillows and I don't know what a pillow has inside of it I I thought maybe it had pellets but I think I'm wrong. Anyway these are gentle air soft pellets never have they been used in anger. You can use them in anger if you wish. I'm a different kind of guy. And welcome back to the Neighborhood Listen. Boy, what a frustrating person. So frustrating.

And babe, I just got a kick. Can we revisit that strange sound you made? Oh no. Let me just get out this spot. That is nothing short of horrifying. I don't care for it. Please stop that, babe. What implement are you using?

Is that a squeegee or are you just a cloth? It's a very dry cloth. Oh, it sounds like you use some kind of moisture. You really do. If you want to clean it. At least water. You're just spreading dirt around, babe. Oh, there's spreading water all around.

I don't want to get the windows wet. I'm trying to clean them. How do you take a shower? What do you think? Ha ha ha ha. Now I'm concerned. It sounded like you were winding a tape and that's what I was concerned about. He was being dug out an old VCR.

But I really want to revisit that sound you made when Diana was describing what was basically the Matrix. It was wild. What was that noise? Do you know what that, it was crazy. It was just primal fear. Fear, but what do you mean fear? Does the storyline was scaring you? She was describing a very scary movie. It was that noise. Do you know what that, it was crazy. It was just primal fear. Fear? But what do you mean fear?

Does the storyline was scaring you? She was just driving a very scary movie. And you didn't recognize it as The Matrix. Have you seen The Matrix? He loves The Matrix. The Matrix. This was the spreadsheet though. The Matrix.

Oh dear. Well, things are really getting giddy over here. We're just kind of losing the plot here. They really are. But I don't say this about guests a lot, but I hope Diana never finds another VCR. I do too. I want her to move into this. What a challenging, frustrating person. I do too. I want her to move into this.

By the way, she really got under your skin. She really got under my skin. Just refusing to take help. Yeah, I know, I know. It was such an easy solution too. The solution is right in front of her, literally. You make her life so much better. Yeah, oh well. What a weird undertaking to watch every movie that's ever,

you can't do it. Burns, you're gonna think about this all the way home. You're not gonna get sleep tonight, I know you are. Yeah, that's probably true. Okay, all right, well. Let's get home, let's get you are. Yeah, that's probably true. Okay, all right. Well, let's get home. Let's get you home then. We have time for one final post

and this one comes to us from one of our viewers. Bert's rubbing his eyes like a little child. Bert does that. I know. He's doing the hair on his eyes with his fists. Bert, would you like to sleep over? I might take up on the time. It would be fun.

You know we have plenty of rooms. That's true. Which one do you want? Do any of them have beds? Weirdly the Batcave does. Oh, I'd sleep in a Batcave. You would? Yeah, and it's fake bats.

That's right, it's fake bats. Yeah, I don't want to sleep in that one. You gotta sleep upside down. Real bats. I have to sleep upside down? If you're in the Batcave. I think it's healthy. Well, the bats might get mad have to sleep upside down? If you're in the back. That's healthy. Well, the bats might get mad.

Reminds me of my broken Murphy bed. Oh dear. Had that dream where I was swimming in my own blood. Oh no. All right. We have time for one last post. This comes to us from a neighbor named JT Grant Three. Oh wow.

Email this to us. Cool name. This is a cool name. This is JT Grant Three. What a slick robot. Sounds like a great character actor. Oh, okay, that's who. All right, this is posted by someone named Kristy.

This is in the in search of section. Kristy writes, looking for a special gardener. No punctuation, no further information. Okay. Wow, that could mean anything. It sounds like solicitation to me, right? A little bit. It does sound like a lady is saying.

I think she meant to say a specialty gardener, right? Like specializing in ferns or Jade bushes or Japanese gardens, right? You can think that, but that's not what I think. You think she's looking for some gardener strange. Was that not what you meant? That's not the phrase that I had in my mind, but yes, that's what it boils down to. To be fair, it wasn't the phrase I had either. It got there though. It's just the one that came out.

I think she's looking, she wants to get with a gardener. She wants to get with a gardener. You know, we had this maybe one season ago when someone wanted an architect, but it was very specific, a Christian, no, sorry, a Christian chiropractor. Chiropractor. That's right.

Christian architect. I'm building a church and I want it to be a Christian. I don't want an atheist building my church. Oh my goodness. Yeah, I suppose. It was a Christian chiropractor. It was a Christian chiropractor. I think this Christy is looking to show us a special gardener. She's looking for that special someone. It needs to be a gardener. Yeah. Wow. Everyone's got their thing. Oh, they sure do. Everyone's got their

absolutely. We welcome that. Oh, well, what I really, well, this is so personal. What do you mean? What are we talking about, Berndt? Honestly, you only just threw it out there. I just wanted to see if you'd answer it or not. It was interesting to me how long you thought about before you realized that it was a personal question that you shouldn't be answering on a microphone. Oh good, so I didn't fall for the trick?

No, you didn't. You eventually wormed your way out of the trap. It was close. Yeah. You chewed your own leg off and got out. I do want to know what Doug's is though, for real. Oh, do you, do you want to tell him, babe? Or do you, do you want me to tell him? You can tell.

Stewardesses. Stewardesses, not flight attendants, but old fashioned, ham ham stewardesses. And the weird part is he just wants me to walk past him with trash, bag and collect trash. I think it's really kind, it's compassionate, it's on time. He wants you to walk past him with a plastic bag.

He loves to want to get the gloves on. He loves to find some trash laying around. That explains all those little plastic cups I've seen around here. He always goes, that's for you. And he winks. Well, something extra. Do you even have to wear like an outfit or it's just the bag? Oh, I definitely do.

Well, listen, in a pinch, I just grabbed the bag, you know, like to get out of a fight or whatever. And it just instantly is a reset. Do you ever do like a little neck scarf? But I do have an outfit. Oh, for sure. I have a neck scarf. Yes, I do. I have several neck scarves.

I do find the neck scarf very attractive. Well, there you go. See, there's something about it. Why is that? Cause I don't understand it. Do you know what it is? It's, there's something about it that's, it seems both sophisticated,

but also sort of adventurous. It's wild. Really? A scarf? Yes, there's something that's- See, I just see it as someone being too buttoned up or restricted. No, scarf just around the throat? I think that's very, I think it's attractive. Have you ever seen it in the wind? A scarf in the wind?

It blows everywhere. Yeah, like if somebody kicks out the emergency exit door. You ever see a scarf almost sucked out of a blade? Looking hot. Oh, I suppose that's why they don't tie it in a knot because otherwise they'd go out with it. Wow. I never even thought about that.

Okay. Now for male flight attendants, do you like the little vest or do you like when they're just in the shirt sleeves? Do you know what? I love the dead heads. I'm attracted to the pilot who's like, just here, I'm just here,

but I'm like, secretly you could save us all. You know what I mean? They're like silent heroes, just waiting to be activated. It sounds to me like you see one of these guys and you immediately go into a scenario in your mind. It's like, it's like being able to have like infrared and know that like a Marshall is on board, but you wouldn't know what a plain close Marshall. I mean, infrared, that's like predator vision where you could see,

Oh, that guy's got a gun. Well, you know, just some sort of vision. That's why Joan likes to drive. And she loves when I'm in the passenger seat. Oh, because you're the secret hero. Yeah. If something goes wrong with the car, you could take over at any moment.

He goes, just trying to get to Omaha. And yeah. Yeah. You ever sit in the back seat, just a full seat. And then falls asleep, you know, that's how they get it. Deadhead. They're just sleeping. They're not in charge. That's what I thought. Cause you know, their heads just kind of bob. God, I sure hope any other description would be way too dark. So, so they would have to fall asleep so reliably.

Doesn't it make sense that they would? Cause they're on a crazy schedule. Okay, what would your explanation be as to why they're called deadheads? I figured because they follow the Grateful Dead all over the country. Yeah, that's what I thought. And that's what they're doing on the plane.

I thought they're falling asleep to Grateful Dead. They're going to the next Grateful Dead show. These are pilots who are just, right. Oh, you're saying all pilots are. They're not working because. But I think a flight attendant can also be a deadhead. That's true. Not into that. Fair enough to the scarf.

Hey, I'm not going to yuck your yum. Oh boy, we have to do more of these late night shows. They're kind of fun. We do have to wrap it up. Thank you everyone for listening. Of course. It's two in the morning. If you got, oh.

You're sleeping over in the Batcave. Sorry, Burn. You are. I'm not letting you go home. Is it okay if I don't sleep upside down? I don't think the bats will like it. You should take the- No, remember they're fake.

Fake bats in the Batcave. It's just a recording. They still get angry. You have them pre- You have them programmed- You have them programmed to get angry? You have them programmed to recognize motion. Well, can't you just switch that off for one night? Come on, babe.

How about you take the yarn closet? That is a good one. It's very soft. That actually does sound kind of fun. Yeah, take the yarn closet. You can sleep anywhere. Anywhere. Anywhere.

Just jump in. Don't even look. Make sure you do that That actually does sound kind of fun. Yeah. Take the yarn closet. You can sleep anywhere. Anywhere. Anywhere. Just jump in. Don't even look. Make sure you do that for- Are there needles in there? No. Hopefully not. What?

Well, it's yarn. I know, but babe, usually you use like, there's not like small needles. There might be one or two crochet needles. I don't want to jump in there and then be Dracula by a knitting needle. Take the metal detector in the closet next to it. Use it real quick, find the needles, then jump in.

I'll probably just lay down slowly. That works too. We can figure this on our own time, not on our listeners' time. We'll do it. If you would like to hear our episodes ad free and get access to our bonus content, please go to cbbworld.com and sign up for the Maximist here and you can

get that stuff. And what else? Our Instagram is The Neighborhood Listen on Instagram. We're on threads too, I guess. Yes, I guess so. But there you can see pictures of the posts that we use in the episodes, as well as pictures of our guests. And we thank you for listening. We'll be back next week with more of The Neighborhood Listen. Until then, goodbye. And bye. Nicole Parker and me Brett Morris. This week's guest was played by Demi Adidjiewebe.

The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang World. Go to CBBworld.com to unlock the entire history of the show ad free as well as brand new full length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maximus subscribers. Your support keeps the show going.