The Neighborhood Listen - Free Dental Work with Rekha Shankar

Episode Date: May 7, 2024

This week, we hear of Joan's travel plans for her one-woman show and what Burnt has been hearing around town, while Doug searches for a signal in the noise. Later, local dental hygiene student Leah has an offer for the neighborhood.Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for the Maximus plan to unlock access to the entire ad-free archive as well as brand new exclusive BONUS ROOM episodes adventuring deeper into Dignity Falls!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Look out, Canadian listeners, this one's for you. Coho is a mastercard with an easy-to-use app that makes managing your finances easier. Coho lets you earn cash back, borrow, build your credit history, and so much more. Join over 1 million Canadians and sign up for your free trial today. Download Coho on Google or App Store today or koho.ca for more details. Plus, for any basketball fans out there, get a $75 e-gift card for nbastore.ca when you sign up with the promo code koho75. That's code koho75. Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website.

Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad-free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of The Bonus Room, go to cbbworld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership. And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. Knock, knock. Who's there? Your neighbor. Good. neighborhood listen knock knock who's there your neighbor good indignity falls you're never alone you've got the neighbor half app and us burnt and jode from coyotes to mail theft to weird things to

sell we'll cover it all and meet new neighbors as well we'll chat about any posts you're missing so just tune in to The Neighborhood Listen. And welcome once again to The Neighborhood Listen. This is the podcast from Dignity Falls, and we are residents of Dignity Falls exploring our neighborhood and sharing it with you. Who am I, you might ask? Well, I'll tell you. I was wondering. No, hold on a second. I'm like, who is this across ask? Well, I'll tell you. I was wondering.

No, hold on a second. I'm like, who is this across from me? What? Joan, you're kidding around. Of course I am. You're very funny, and people don't give you enough credit for that. Oh, I didn't know that that was a thing people were saying.

Okay. Well, I guess thank you. Because you're such a terrific actress, I think that people take you at your word a lot. don't realize when you're joshing do you think that's right i i always thought that i really no i just don't what if it's correct i used to think that my open house is because i'm a realtor my name is john pedestrian um and uh i like to think that i have a good uh a know, um, I give good open house.

Well, I think you do. And I'm a pharmacist. My name is Bermuda Penny. And, uh, I think that, um, I, I think that you are good. I think when you were moved from the professional sort of, uh, hosting arena. Oh, do you know what I mean? Okay. Some people might think.

Who are these some people? It's almost as if you've had many conversations and you don't want to be any more specific. Do you know who it is? Oh my God, who? It's Mickey at the pharmacy. What? Now look, I can say this because- Mickey loves me.

He does love you, but he believes everything that you say. Oh my God. So if you make a joke joke if you're sarcastic at all he will later text me and say why did Joan say that he thought I had amnesia for five years yes oh my god that was just because I couldn't find my card in my purse and I was like oh

that's you know it's probably because I had amnesia for five years you know what I mean but I had that face and that voice and he thought I was serious he said she's so brave even though the amnesia somehow has affected her face and voice occasionally. Oh, he thought it was

face-affected amnesia. Yes, you're... He thought it was FAA. FAA. And he said, Joan is my hero. Well, I mean, I guess, I don't know,

let him think that. Why should we correct him? Well, that's the thing. I don't want to pop his balloon. But I will. His what? Pierce that bubble that he lives in. Okay, so that's just good to know.

Do you promise it's just Mickey? It's just Mickey. It's just Mickey. Okay, I got worried. I thought this was getting around town. Oh, my goodness. Now, I feel guilty because I feel like I inadvertently exaggerated which is a big

blanket statement you know what a lot of people don't think you're funny is what I heard I can see how that sounded that way to you okay okay thank you for that whew what a way to start I'm just I'm well I'm awake that that for one yes um

uh babe how are you doing yeah checking with doug our engineer joan's husband who is somewhere else in the pedestrian home are you hearing all this babe i you know what i'm joking right are you hearing all this yeah i hope so it's coming in a little bit oh what do you mean it's coming in a little bit oh he's in the um oh what is coming in a little bit? Oh, he's in the, oh, what is it? The ham radio room? Is that what you're calling it? You have a whole room for ham radio?

This is again what I'm talking about. How big is this room? He's got a bunch of different, you tell him, babe. It's ham and then of course,

you know, we have like a Spanish jamón. Jamón radio? You know, draping like a Spanish jamon. Jamon radio? Draping. Draping from the. Ew, what?

Now I don't know what he's talking about. Okay, so you have a ham radio in there. I guess I have to ask, is the radio made out of ham? The radio is not made out of ham. I don't think that would work. Oh, yeah. You might be right, Doug. You might be right.

And you have drapes that are made of Siberian ham. Hanging, you know, how they have in Spain, the hanging ham. I haven't been. It's just all over the place. The hanging ham gardens of Spain? It's really,

he's been sort of into, you know how he likes the evidence room, right? We've talked about this. He had an evidence room. I don't just like it. It's important. Okay. All right,

babe. All right. Yes. Okay. It's important. The evidence room is important. There's actual evidence in there from actual cases. There's some evidence I don't like.

Yes. There's some evidence you don't like? Perhaps we should revisit this moment for our listeners. If you haven't, if you don't remember. Oh, fun. When he had, because what was going on for a while is he was sending this pilot ahead of time to our guests. Yes, Evident Lee. Evident Lee, about.

What was Evident Lee about? I'm pretty sure the whole concept was just that the town was corrupt and he's the only one that saw the evidence right away. And his name was Lee. His name was Lee. That's right. Evident was his title. Was it? Now that we didn't discuss. Not a nickname, but a title? Evident.

Yes. A prestigious evident. I didn't know that. That's new. Did you make a rewrite? A little punch up? Did you do a little punch up? Well, it's on his first name. Is that a golden rod? Have you done your joke pass yet?

I'm not sure he knows all the terms, Bernt. How do you know them all? I don't know. Isn't that funny? I shouldn't know that. Sometimes he'll just demonstrate this crazy knowledge of the entertainment industry. What is the problem, Doug? I'm realizing now I gave the joke pass to Mickey.

Oh, no. Here, he probably thinks it's real. Maybe he thought it was Doug's memoirs or something. Would have been a strange formatting for a memoir. Although I haven't seen the script. I don't know if Doug knows about script formatting. Now, I know a lot about this because Gabby, you know, is a big. Oh, you're still with Gabby?

Yes. And she loves, you know, Hollywood stuff and script writing and all that. Oh, I didn't know that. She knows all the terms. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, anyways. Mini room.

Menu binder. You said that one with a real edge oh now you said you're saying them all the same I see okay who are you

Mickey all right so that was the script he was working on then we he stopped he stopped sending it ahead to me

because I was very uncomfortable for everyone we did not realize it had been happening didn't realize it realized it in real time with our with our guest Sybil

who sold keys keys but bibbles means lockers yes uh that's a deep cut for our listeners i think okay so um even deeper cut for anyone else even and and so he sort of got off of the evidence and he got into like spy stuff you you know, like sitting and listening on the wire, maybe a little bit of alien stuff. I don't know, babe, but he sort of got more into sci-fi. So his idea of just sitting there

with a little bit of alien stuff. Sitting in the middle of like, you know, a room listening for just for anything. Wow. Tearing up the floorboards like Gene Hackman

in The Conversation. Again, these references, Bert. Well, that's a movie. I know, but I don't, you know what? I'm ashamed to say I don't.

And I mean ashamed. I have deep shame that I haven't seen the conversation. It's okay. Okay. You know what I mean? It's okay. I mean, I've seen The French Connection. Wonderful film. I haven't seen that in a long, long time. Oh, Gene Hackman's wonderful. We watched him be wonderful when we did

our Superman 2 watch-along. That's right. He was terrific. We watched him be wonderful. We watched him be wonderful. I don't understand why there's such a big deal about him looking old and being old right now he's trending on twitter in his 90s i know and that's what people expect exactly and you know what he looks pretty damn good yeah he was walking he was walking for a leave him alone thank you leave gene hackman alone hopefully by the time this has come out people have left him alone and he's still with us and he's still with us. I hope they have. And he's still with us. Those are my hopes.

Yes. How old do you think he'll live to be? That's a hard thing to say. Why would you ask me that? Hadn't thought about my motive. Because if I say too long, then it'll be so sad when I'm wrong. And if I say too soon, that will also seem mean. I just think every day he gets now is a gift. I'm sure that's how

he feels. Probably, yeah. That's how I feel. Does he still ride his bike? He used to ride his bike a lot. No, really? I did not know that. In retirement, there would, every once in a while, there would be a picture of him and he's riding his bike. Oh my goodness. How long has he been retired now? Do we need to be talking about Gene Hackman this much? We really don't, but also

we really do. Doesn't he live in Santa Barbara? No, he lives in New Mexico and I only know that because of Twitter. I guess my mom. Oh, wow. I hate that I know that. I shouldn't know

where he lives. That's none of my business. That's none of your business. Mind your own. Sorry, and I mean to say X. Oh, God. Burton, I just can't. X what?

It's supposed to be called X now, right? Oh. I'm way behind. I forgot about that. You know, the kids are always thinking. Honestly, that didn't take,

except with news sources that say X, formerly Twitter. I'm not sure any of us are really used to saying it anymore. I hear people say it all the time. It's very annoying. Do you really? I do. No, I mean, I hear people say Twitter all the time. Oh, yeah.

People just say Twitter because that's what it is. But the kids are always trying to remind me, you know, it's X, although they're not on any of that stuff. This is Calliope? This is Calliope. Well, Jelaiope. Excuse me. I can't believe I've never made that mistake before.

Oh, I've made it many times. Have you really? Yes. She must not like that. Oh, she doesn't. This is Joan's daughter, Jolliope. Jolliope. And then I have the twins. And Doug's. Sorry. True. J and K are next to each other in the alphabet.

Yes, that's true. Calliope, of course, is spelled with a C. Not if it's spelled with a K. That's true. If it is misspelled, it's right next to... But it's not. Good out. Wow.

You know, sometimes I still do wonder what's going on in that sweet brain of yours, babe. Sometimes I actually still can't do the maze, you know? We'll get back to the kids in a second, but Doug, are you a ham radio enthusiast? This is something I did not know about you before. Yeah, I am now because it turns out most of the channels get this amazing form of static that is, you know, when you try to decode the messages coming

through the static. When you try to? You know when they do that? What messages have you gotten? Have you gotten any messages? Well, I'm putting them together, trying to map out the patterns. I'm not familiar with this phenomenon. It could be a language of some sort. Like, like in Arrival?

The Charlie Sheen movie in the 90s? The Arrival? Wow. Oh, I forgot about that. Wow. Definitely don't know that one. Just Arrival. No, it's just Arrival.

Amy Adams. It's very sad. Josh Renner is a scientist. Jeremy Renner Burns. Jeremy Renner. He might as well be Josh. The Charlie Sheen one, the aliens had inverted knees like a grasshopper.

I always thought that that's a better system. The Charlie Sheen one was also an alien movie? Yes. Oh, interesting. That's all a rival can be in a title, I guess. I feel as if you had grasshopper legs. Maybe you could jump pretty far. Yeah.

Grasshoppers prove that. should we get back to the kids grasshoppers proved it um but no the uh in arrival jeremy renner is a scientist and that's why he wears glasses sometimes yeah that's how you know yes that's how you know. So, yes. So, the kids, July, Pete, and my twins, Matt and... Ubermensch. Ubermensch. That's right. Matt and Ubermensch. Why were we talking about them?

I mean, not like I need a reason. Oh, they're always telling me... Because they're constantly reminding you... Yeah, that I'm supposed to say X. Twitter's X. Yeah. Yes. How are the boys, by the way?

They're fine. They're thinking of sailing across the world this summer. Sailing across the world this summer. Just for the summer. Just for the summer. Just for the summer. How long does it take to start? Is it a three-month affair? Is it 80 days or something?

Are you thinking of around the world 80 days? I think you're thinking of the movie. I believe hot air balloons were involved. Which I, you know what, I'm not actually sure. I've never read that book. Me neither. That story? Is it a book or just a story? I have no idea. So I don't even know if hot air balloons are in that or if that's an invention of the film.

That's a good question. These are such old references. No one's going to know. There's no way to find these answers. No, only Gene Hackman is the only person old enough to know. And we're not going to go to New Mexico. We're not going to bother him. No.

Yeah. Well, anyways, listen. These are just these ideas they get, right? They came downstairs. Yes. They're like going to go to New Mexico. We're not going to bother them. Listen, these are just these ideas they get, right? They came downstairs. They watched White Squall. Remember that movie? That's what made them want to get on a boat? Scott Wolf.

Jeff Bridges. I love the word Squall. Is that where the QAnon phrase comes from? Where we go one, we go all? Oh, no, I hope not. I think it's from White Squall. It's from White Squall? And when we're done, we're done.

Oh, that makes me very concerned. What did you say? I was trying to complete the rhyme. I thought that's what you meant. It's not a rhyme. We go one, we go all. No, it was over. We're done.

He's trying to rhyme it with White Squall, right? No. Sure. Is that what you're trying to do? He just goes, sure. That's marriage. That's what that is. That is marriage. I'm not right. I have it trying to do he just goes sure that's marriage that's what that is that is marriage and i'm not right i have it wrong and he goes sure because you know what

it's easier just to move on let me ask you this this is a this is a thing that i've i've wondered in marriage if one partner says something and the other partner doesn't hear it and for the first partner it's not worth repeating can you get away with saying nothing? Yes, and that's often what happens. Really? You will get in trouble for it later because it will come up what was discussed and then you'll be like, why are we getting on an airplane?

And it's like, well, because you didn't, you weren't, you absolutely didn't hear me that time that we were actually leaving town tomorrow. But then that person should not have said nothing. They should have repeated themselves. We're getting on an airplane tomorrow. I agree with that. How do you get all the way to the airport?

You'd be surprised. One whole vacation at Disney World and Doug was asleep. I had to wake him up. I was like, babe. And he was like, what, is it church? I was like, we don't go to church. Is it church? I was like, we're going to the airport. When Doug

first wakes up, he's very much like a little boy. It's almost like he wakes up in his old bed in his mind and Doug did your family I actually don't know much about Doug's family were you a religious family did you go to church on Sundays we were not religious at all actually but we did go to church on Sundays

why did you do that I think that they were just sort of you kind of had a family that was very lonely so I think that they were just sort of you kind of had a family that was very lonely so I think you just enjoyed the what am I trying to say? The communal. Yeah the social aspect of it. They had these picnics that were

amazing. There's nothing like the social aspect of church. It is the best. Well it's just nice when people ask how you are and what you're doing. Absolutely. Which is not what happened at home all the time. Exactly. Older strange women ask you how you're doing which is not what happened at home all the time you know so exactly someone else does have older strange women ask you how you're doing sometimes it's comforting sometimes it is comforting and i didn't mean to say strange just older women people you don't know that's right that's what i meant to say but some of them are strange some of them are strange they

go every day um and uh uh what was i gonna ask you don't know. We went off on a marriage tangent. All I'm saying is that, well, now I'm worried because if it's a QAnon thing, I'm worried of what they were into and what they were watching that made them want to do this. Yes. But let's just say it's probably not going to happen. You know, what they'll probably do is they'll probably just rent. They'll probably go down to the lake outside of town because we don't have any bodies of water anymore in the town.

It's really too bad. They'll probably go. So sad. It is very sad. So they're probably just going to. Too bad, so sad. They're probably just going to, I don't know, rent a cat, like a, what is it? Catamaran?

Not a catamaran. A skiff? I was going to say a catamaran. A skiff. Yeah, maybe it's. What's a skiff again? No, there's a word for a small sailboat, and I can't remember what it is. It's not a dinghy.

I can't remember what it is. Small sailboat. I know. It's how you learn how to sail. Um, yeah, my cousins used to do it in the summer, but I can't remember what it's called, but maybe it'll come to me. It's not important. What's important is that we have a guest. I don't hope so. That's true. Now, if, if we seem a little bit all over the place, we've taken a long break between recordings. We never take a break in the middle of a season. That's right. And Joan has been traveling a little bit, performing. I have.

I have. And do you want to tell people about that? Yeah, I decided to take, I had mentioned this at the beginning of the season. I have developed a new one-woman Hamlet, which I call Hurlet. Hurlet, that's right. And I'm taking it all around the country, uh, wherever I'm around the country. Well, I mean, okay. I that's my hope. I've, I've only gone to Illinois. That's it. That's it. I did three towns in Illinois, three towns, how to go three towns. You know what? It was great when people came. Um, and, uh, and then we had to cancel a bunch of other nights cause there was just no, you know, there was just, I'm not going to do it to nobody. I mean, I, I treated it as rehearsal one time exactly um we had one that was a middle school uh matinee now that was terrible they just they just giggled through the whole thing and made out and

got on stage and threw things at me wow it was it was really rough um which did they get on stage first yeah they got on stage and threw things at me. From the stage. From the stage. Point blank. Oh, that's too close. That's too close. But, you know, it was, I'm in the process. You know, like stand-up comedians, they take a year to develop a new hour.

Yes, this is something I know that I could teach you. Wow. And so I imagine it's going to take. How come there's not more good comedy then? Oh, yeah, that's right, Burton. You're like, specifically sketch comedy, you don't care.

No, I don't care for that, but you do. There's something... I don't like sketch comedy because the stories are too short. Okay, that's right. I like a story that I can focus on for longer than five minutes.

Sure. Yeah. Like the conversation. Like the conversation with Gene Hackman. Small sloop. Sloop. Oh, that's it. Small sloop?

Sloop John B. It's a Beach Boys song. Sure. Yeah, so sloop. They'll probably get a sloop. And then they'll make fun of that word because that word will sound funny to them. It's a pretty funny word.

Anyway, so I did. I took a couple of weeks to go to Illinois, to Southern Illinois, and to just... It's getting more specific as we go. I took a couple of weeks to go to Illinois, to Southern Illinois, and to just... It's getting more specific as we go. I did a tour of Southern Illinois, and I... Now, why did you choose Southern Illinois? What was it about Southern Illinois that you thought, this is the place to go? When new musicals are being workshopped, like in New York City, you know, and these days with people, message boards and Internet and everything, if it's too close, you know, to New York or if it's too prolific or like or important a theater when they're doing an out of town.

Right. They go out of town first so they can mess it all up and fix it all up before they come to New York. So you want to go very far away. And so I just thought, well, what better? I don't need people on the message boards trashing my hurlet right now. So I'm going to go very far away. And so I just thought, well, what better? I don't need people on the message boards trashing my hurlet right now. So I'm going to go to where nobody is. I just didn't think about an audience.

You were thinking to yourself, don't trash my hurlet. I said, don't trash my hurlet. Do you think that will replace don't yuck my yum? Don't trash my hurlet. Potentially, yeah. I wanted to ask. And maybe I could sell merch. Oh, that is the good. Don't trash

my hurlet. You know, anytime you go to the theater and they're selling merch from the show. Oh, I got to get that raglan sleeve t-shirt. From Hadestown. You call it hurt. Hurt. That's really good. Thatades Town. You call it Hurt. Hurt.

That's really good. Doug, that's good. Babe, I like it. Doug, that's good. Hurt. You wouldn't believe how much Broadway fans care about merch. It's one of the first things they ask. They're like, any merch? Really? It's like for first for Sufs, the musical about the suffragettes. What merch do you want?

I'm sorry. Did you say there's a musical about suffragettes. What merch do you want? I'm sorry. Did you say there's a musical about suffragettes called Sufts? Yes. I didn't want to bring it up. Now, this is something Mickey would not understand because it's clearly a joke. I really didn't mean to bring it up. Are you sure I haven't fallen into your web? I'm not.

I think everything we've said so far has led up to you bringing up Sufts, the musical. Was it a musical? It's literally a musical. It's on Broadway right now. Is it? What? Yep. Suffs.

Okay. We've already given this too much time. Yes. Yes. Sounds pretty cool to me. Thank you yeah thank you thank you it's just it's a bunch of it's a wonderful cast of extremely talented ladies i'm sure and hillary clinton is one of the producers i thought you're gonna say she's in it well she might be do you think she came up with the title i don't think so i i don't want you to suffer okay missing suffs is that her doing the the promo she did the pokemon go i do not oh pokemon go was very

popular at the time of that election and she said pokemon go to the pollses. Oh, dear. Well, anyways. That was when it all. No, Bernt, let's not. Please, let's not. Go there. I wish I could have brought it up. Okay, how about we Pokemon Go to a break? Can we do that? That's great. Thank you.

All right, we will go to a break. And when we come back, we will have a guest right here with us when the neighborhood listen returns this is deborah dog outfits small medium size take both free elf brand new never been worn Miss Claus used one black rose unstitched, overall good condition. Look, I got two dogs. One barely tolerates costumes, the other one not at all. And I am trying to get these dogs into show business. But this ain't gonna do it. So I'm teaching them how to sing.

And welcome back to The Neighborhood Listening. Guess what, Joan? We've got a guest. Oh boy. If you're not aware already, what we do is we scour the NeighborHap. That's the neighborhood social networking app. And we look for interesting posts

and then we invite the people on the show. And this week is no different. I had a surplus of saliva in my mouth. And it had to be gotten rid of. Okay. That's why there was a little moment of silence as that operation was taking place. That's okay. I don't think I didn't even notice it.

All right. So this week is no different. We do have a guest. And this is in the for sale and free section. And this is Leah. Leah sale and free section. And this is Leah. Leah writes, subject line, free dental cleaning, parentheses, serious inquiries only, please. Close parentheses. Free.

Free dental cleaning. I am a dental hygiene student in my last semester of school. Please let me know if you have any questions. What's the catch? Appointments are long. Three hours. Three hours. And multiple appointments are required for a deep cleaning.

This is worth it for people without insurance as a deep cleaning can cost $800 to $1,200. Everything is checked and supervised by a registered dental hygienist. And then this is the, here we go. These are, this is the here we go these are this is the the fine print must not have missing broken loose teeth dental fillings are okay as long as they are only on

chewing surface or side of tooth but not in between i didn't even know there was such a thing no implants crowns partials or bridges and then back to non-yelling font. Looking for people that need a good cleaning. Do you have plaque that can't be removed with your toothbrush? Puffy gums that bleed when you brush? Please contact me to set up an appointment. All services are provided at a community college in Dignity Falls, comma, and then it ends. Wow.

Yes. Wow. A cliffhanger. And we have Leah. Leah, welcome to the neighborhood. Listen. Oh, thank you. Give me, give me, give me that plaque.

What is that? Like a catchphrase? Yeah, it's just so good. We have a marketing class in the dental school. You have a marketing class? Yeah. You know, you got to compete with all these other Dignity Falls dentists. I got to be up in the up and up, you know?

Okay, you know? You gotta be on the up and up and up. But I always thought that dentistry was sort of just a real solid like being a plumber. There's always going to be a demand. And I didn't know that it was so competitive. It's very political. Oh, political! Could you go into that a little bit?

Yeah, you know, for instance, if you are, if you have the money to get your face cleaned and your hair done, people might take you more seriously than if your face is all dirty and you got messy, great, crazy hair that's getting in people's mouths and stuff. Oh, Oh Lord. I feel like there's definitely ways to prevent that from happening. But let me ask you about the professional face cleaning. What do you mean by that? Thank you for asking.

You know, sometimes your face is super, super dirty. Some people, they aren't able to wash it off. And so if you're a dentist that's coming into the practice and your face is all dirty, people are going to take you less seriously. So maybe you get the fancy headshots

if you got the money and you get the dirt all airbrushed out. And that's what's on your bus and your bench, you know, pictures. But I don't, this feels almost personal. Did something happen or someone maybe made a comment and thought that your face was a little bit dirty?

Absolutely. Okay. I come in. So my husband and I live in a rural area. He was a little bit dirty? Absolutely. I come in, so my husband and I live in a rural area. He's a mom. And what's his name? I'm sorry. His name is... If you don't want to tell us... Yeah, you don't have to. Ben Chrysler.

He's the model for the Chrysler building and no big deal. I'm sorry, he's the model for the Chrysler building? Yeah, the Chrysler building now is a model. And he's been getting really famous, so we wanted to move somewhere a little more remote. Joan, you seem to understand this, and I don't at all.

Well, because I love everything New York, you know? Sure. And the last time I was there- You heart it. I heart it. I really heart it. I heart that apple so hard. And I was going on some tours I had been on before and i didn't

realize the chrysler building had a tour and you know how like there's sort of um either you know the video before you take off on a plane that explains the safety features yes or even a ride like disneyland someone comes out who's famous you know um then is like hey uh here's the you know like a jason alexander yeah or was going to say the guy who played Buddy on Seinfeld because he is on one of them. Patrick Warburton. That's right, Patrick Warburton. So the Chrysler building has one of those videos and I believe Ben is also that's when he was sort of became really famous

because he just comes out and he's like, welcome. I mean, he has this gorgeous voice. I know. And he's standing in front of a model of the Chrysler building and the building you're in. Correct. And believe me, i thought it was a bit redundant as well i was like oh i didn't even know we needed a whole video but he goes on a whole he he does actually a reenactment of like the first meeting of who was going to build it

he plays the architect he plays the he's pretty amazing bit of an eddie murphy situation he ends up playing he ends up playing a lot of the characters in that scene. But not all of them. Not all of them. He's not quite Eddie Murphy. He plays about 80% of the characters. That's a good amount. And he's so handsome, but he can change his look. He just does it all

by changing his face. Glasses. A mustache. Bandana. This is fun. What'd you say, babe? This is fun. This is like call and response.

Yeah, call and call. You say the same thing back. And his last name is Chrysler. Is that just a coincidence or is he related somehow to the Chrysler car company? This is what's kind of, you know, sticky. He, you know, I married an Epo baby. Sure. He's from the Chrysler family.

Right. And again, you know, he tries to keep a little profile, but people can't keep their hands off of him. They're following him. In New York, it was a nightmare. Oh, I'm sure. It was terrible. Because everyone in New York visits the Chrysler Building. They do once a day.

So, of course, they would see him. And if you don't have a job two or three times. Yeah. Two or three times if you don't have a job. New Yorkers, they make the time to visit the Chrysler Building. Yes, they do. Yeah. But, you know, but also, again, he really, I think there was, I remember he was trending

for a while. So, I mean, his face was everywhere. You didn't even have to be in New York to know who he was. He was on your phone. So, then how long ago did you move here to get away from it all we moved here last year so we're a little new welcome and thank you and and you know i i had to you know kind of uproot my life you know a little bit what were you doing previously was it i'm assuming since you're in dental school still it wasn't that or was it? I had tried a stint at dental school.

I wasn't, you know, I got a lot of discouragement from the crowd against very political. I was told I didn't have it. Oh, goodness. I really. Which is a bummer. But the New York dental school scene, it's really, really cutthroat. You get like celebrities, kids trying to be dentists. You get the hottest people on earth.

They're so young. They're getting younger every day. You know, sometimes it feels like you have to be 16 to be a dentist. You get the hottest people on earth. They're so young. They're getting younger every day. Sometimes it feels like you have to be 16 to be a dentist. This was in New York or you're finding that here as well? In New York. Now here it is still political but I'm finding I'm able to, at least I can

be in the college. Before it was like bikini competition to get into the college and it was just like I'm not cut out for this. I've never heard of this before. And for men and women, for men and women, it's that cutthroat.

So far, the politics you're mentioning just come down to a dirty versus a clean face. Big time, big time, big time. And is that the, the totality of it? Or is there another example?

There are more nuanced things. Well, the hair. Don't forget the hair. Yeah, you don't want hair falling people's mouth. Whether it's loose hairs or the whole ponytail or something. Oh, good Lord.

Sometimes dip right in. The whole ponytail? How would that happen? Well, weren't you? Oh, it clearly happened. Yeah, I mean, this was a tough one, but I didn't have time to get a haircut for a few years. Oh, my goodness.

You were booked solid for a few years. Yeah. And I had a big ponytail. Very, very, very big. Like Rapunzel length? A little shorter. Okay. And I had a low quality hairband.

Okay. I understand that so well. That's such, I mean, you are speaking my language. It kind of flops on your wrist. So I had a low quality hairband. Right. And I was, you know, this was in the beginning of my schooling here in Dignity Falls, but I was digging around in a mouth and just something with the way it cocked my head because the person was at a big

angle and had a small mouth so i really had to oh they were at a big angle small mouth yeah can't lose and um just something about how i cocked my head the band fell off right and it was kind of a weird i i freaked it was really my reaction right if i hadn't kind of whoa! My hair whipped into his mouth. His little mouth. It got dipped in there. the Novocaine hadn't taken effect yet, so he... Oh, he could feel the hair. He could feel my hair. Oh, no. And it hit his uvula.

Oh, wow. So then he had a little tiny bit of barf. I mean, even without the Novocaine, you're going to feel hair on your uvula. I think so. Yeah, for sure. You don't want stuff like that happening. That was kind of a red mark in my file. I've really since, you know, I cut my hair.

I've since, you know, when I can wash the stuff off my face, I try to. Okay, that's great. Yeah. And you have, so I, just getting back to the post. Sorry, go ahead. Okay, alright. Don't be mad at me. I'm not. I wasn't.

Wait, is this like a reverse Mickey? Do you think that you think I'm always mad? I do think you're always. Yes. And I'm not. I think personally that you're much funnier than people have been saying. Wait. Now, see.

Hang on a minute. Burns. This is. OK is okay well now you are okay well now i am mad okay got me there but okay two questions about specifically the post how much more schooling do you have left i've got about three years left i didn't know so you've been in dental school for almost four years i did not know it was that long a program i never knew either you know because in the, we don't deal with dentists a lot. Oh, interesting.

You know what I mean? There will be prescriptions for painkillers occasionally. Yeah, new teeth and stuff. Yeah, we can't fill those anymore. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a practice that went out. It was a prototype that was that happened right here. They were because people were getting them

and they didn't know how to apply it. Yes. They were getting it in a little orange pill bottle and they didn't know how to apply it. Yes. Because they were getting it in a little orange pill bottle and they didn't know how to apply it correctly. A little bottle full of tea. I think it was called U-Tooth, right? You do it yourself. That was the generic name. Yeah. Oh, no one could buy the brand name.

Lexi-tooth. Lexi-tooth. And they were manufactured by the Lexis Corporation. Oh, that's right i hate that well i know you're chrysler we get it we get it uh okay so then here's the second part so now i guess i have heard of this that you know you can go to sort of like when someone's in um you know training to be a hairstylist like you can you can go in and get a sort of a cheaper treatment and i understand that kend Kendall students can do this.

The part that kind of was a red flag for me was it's a community school, a community college. Is this is just in a random room or, you know, usually they're not outfitted for that kind of. I mean, is this a space that's dedicated or are you literally going into a place that has desks, you know, and like you're just in a. I'm just confused about the facilities of it all. I didn't know that any community college had any sort of medical wing. No, I don't think so. Yeah. Well, it's not so much a wing.

It's well, you know, people are so on their phones and stuff now. So the cafeteria has become kind of a quiet place that is actually kind of weirdly perfect for doing my services. Wait, so are you saying you're doing it while people, while school's in session? I assumed this was like on the weekends or something or at night when people aren't there. Well, when people aren't there, they don't like to trust us students to not make mischief.

Right. So they want to always have someone to oversee you. Which you do mention, there's someone overseeing you. There's someone overseeing you. Ideally, it's a hygienist that's doing a favor. Okay. I thought you definitely had a hygienist.

Well, it depends on which appointments you're booking. In the morning, the hygienist is available. She's on volunteer hours. She comes in because she's graduated and she's, you know, really beautiful. And she probably has a clean face. The more he is not a busy time for dentists. No, no, no. She's got time.

Yeah. She's more of an afternoon. She likes to sleep in, but she's been donating. High quality hairband. Totally big hairband. She's got it all. Yeah. But if you, yeah, if you end up booking the afternoon, we kind of get who we can.

So sometimes it's other kids in the school. And just so I'm clear and maybe just correct me if I'm picturing just a single, I'm hoping there's a dental chair. Yes. In a crowded cafeteria where people are eating while you're eating. And on their phones. And they're on their phones. So there's actually not as much eating

as you think. People are so disconnected. But there is food there and I would think that the health department would get involved at some point. Well, let me ask you who's the number one person to get rid of the food. It's me. Well, the food in people's mouths, sure.

Exactly. I can come around and see. Here's the thing. Well, my point was I don't know if they want somebody with a yawning open mouth near the food that other people are going to eat. Yeah, like the sound of a drill, that kind of stuff. It's never really that pleasant. But you're just saying that nobody minds.

Everybody's just there. The students are there eating and they just don't care. I think they're so in their games on their phones. Wow, okay. Well, that really says something about today's youth. I'll tell you what. It's so sad. It is sad.

When I was little, we used to just ignore each other at the dinner table. But now you're playing games and you're full. Right. Yes. Yes. Oh, wow. Okay. Well, so when you put out this, what I want to know is how many, how long ago did you

put this out? And are you coming on to get the word out because people aren't coming or are you getting some good responses? I put this out about a year ago. I'm coming or are you getting some good responses um i put this out about a year ago um i'm coming on to try to get some responses okay i put it out basically when i moved here um i haven't had many clients you've had some though i've had you said one no we didn't say anything we did not give a number i have had one okay if that's what you meant i have had one client um you know how did that go i think it went awesome i mean she

came in with a lot of plaque which is really ideal for me when i'm trying to give me that plaque. And, you know, it was interesting. I actually, the way you save a dollar bill for your first business transaction, you know, I kind of have this saved as a little special thing, but I just didn't know it would be my

only. What did you save exactly? I have the plaque. Okay. That was not what I was expecting. That's a little unpleasant. Oh, it's rough. Do you have it displayed somehow? Is it like in a frame?

Oh, no. Were you going to ask if it was in a plaque? Because I'm really sick. I promised you I wasn't going to. We missed that joke. We missed it. We did. I put it in a trophy bowl.

A trophy bowl? Yeah. Really? What is that exactly? If you go to a trophy store, you could buy a trophy bowl. A trophy bowl? Really? What is that exactly? If you go to a trophy store, you could buy a trophy for yourself. Oh sure, there's no law against it. Not anymore. You can just do that for yourself

for anything you want. Every birthday you have, you could buy yourself one. So I went and I bought one. It's a really gorgeous slender bowl. You mean like a cup? A slender bowl you mean like like a cup like the stuff you drink out of a cup a slender bowl or a cup yeah okay so it's a tall thin bowl this idea of slender bowl scares me oh sorry it's terrifying

i don't think she's really i don't think we introduce you to doug my husband who is the Sorry. Terrifying. We need to call her back. Yeah, well, Sunderboy is so scary. Also, I don't think she's really, I don't think we introduced you to Doug, my husband, who is the engineer. I think that's the other problem. That's the voice you're hearing. Yeah, we should get a different room. Oh, okay. Yes.

Wow. Greetings. Greetings. Ooh, your teeth sound a little fuzzy. Oh, boy. Oh. What's going on? Fuzzy teeth.

Doug, are your teeth fuzzy? It's just the way I talk. Give me that foot. Oh. You want some of this fuzz? Okay. I mean, listen, I'll tell you right now. Doug would 100% It's a little bit like that. You want that fuzz?

I would tell you that he would 100% be one of your patients. I mean, like really. 100%. You come on down, the afternoons you'll get Matilda. She's a cafeteria server. In the mornings, you'll get Dr. Eggman. So, you know.

Oh boy, I haven't gone in the evening. Do they ever do wooden teeth? There's like a frontier pharmacist in Old Town that does that. A frontier dentist, sorry. I thought that was just like a sort of museum kind of thing he's actually putting wooden teeth in people's mouths were you talking about the few residents we have here that still have wooden teeth no there's a place in uh old town

dig that does what still has wooden teeth meaning they'll put it in i've heard they'll put it in it's a frontier dentist and i thought that was just for show. But Doug is intimating that people are actually going and getting wooden teeth here. Yes. Well, you know what? Leah might be able to know something more about this because she's actually in dental school. Are you able to know something about that? About people getting wooden teeth? About what I'm intimating.

About what you're intimating? So firstly, I have to be clear that my post very clearly states I cannot put new teeth into your mouth. Oh, you're right. I cannot do that. Porcelain or otherwise. Or ivory or wooden. And apparently there's only so many types of teeth that you're allowed to have to be treated. Exactly.

But I can tell you a little fun fact behind the scenes. The reason those places are giving you wooden teeth is because they're hoarding the real teeth. Nobody wants to sacrifice the real teeth that they have in their boxes. Yeah. Well, the Tooth Fairy is maybe like tier three level. Like if you haven't done the other two uses for the teeth,

if you couldn't figure out how to do it, you get the Tooth Fairy. I'm a little confused. Exactly. What are the teeth uses? So the teeth uses, you use it to make beautiful art. These are discarded teeth. Discarded teeth, yeah.

So people use it to make art? Yeah. So not like, you know, tooth necklace or something, but like. No, not that. That's disgusting. But almost like clay, you can soften the teeth and make material. You can make material out of it.

You mean you like grind it up and make... Is that what you mean? Well, you can soften it. How do you soften teeth? Microwave. That's a good question. Microwave? How long in the microwave will soften a tooth? 30 seconds on and off. Really? Not on and off. That's the key. That's the key. On and off. 30 seconds. Wait a couple seconds. 30 more seconds. 30 more seconds and off. Really? On and off. That's the key. That's the key. On and off.

30 seconds. Wait a couple seconds. 30 more seconds. 30 more seconds. Yeah. You do it a minute straight. Nothing happens. Yeah.

It's like chocolate chips a little bit. You kind of don't want it to burn. You let it cool off. I have never heard of microwaving teeth, I have to say. Is it anything that's that relative size? You can do it. You can kind of do that with anything. Yeah, for sure.

So fingernails if you want. This is, I'm sorry for those of us, those of us and at home listening that are squeamish because this one's a little, you know, sometimes it can be stomach turning to talk about these things. And I have more questions about the slender cup full of plaque. Slender bowl.

But I don't,'t sorry i combined the two um but this leads me to a bigger question are our dentists sort of like um i don't know uh there was that movie the secret life of dentists i never watched it i didn't know what it was it was it was called the secret life of dentists and i think it was just about a marriage but um but i've always wondered i mean is there sort of a how do i say this uh uh sensitively are are you think i think if you're into teeth you're kind of into some odd things that maybe people might not find uh in as um uh that they might get squeamish about but you're into it because right like every podiatrist is a foot fetishist right yeah there's

no way around that yeah all right well that. Well, that's burnt saying that. I would say. Who else would do it? It's true. So that's what I'm thinking. Yes. I mean, listen, you know exactly what I'm saying. People who are anti-hands.

I never considered that. Sometimes you do something because you hate the opposite. Because there's no hand doctor. I guess there isn't. Right? I don't think there is. I mean, there's really just extremities honestly

and I know this because one of the boys the twins broke so many bones and what I didn't realize the first time and I can't help with that even if the bone is a tooth because in my post I said I can't help with that

this is a question that I'm sure a lot of people have. Okay. Our teeth bones. Yeah. Oh, asked and answered big time. Big time. Wow.

Yeah. Yeah. And they can melt in the microwave and they can melt in the microwave. Yeah. Um, so, okay. So now I forgot what I had asked.

Oh, your children broke all their bones? Do you know what? Because I can't... Well, I can't stop thinking about it. I'm so sorry for this. But did anyone watch that really depressing... One of those, you know, things that's turned by Reese Witherspoon into a Hulu show. There's so many of them.

It's like Big Feelings and Broken House and Burning Edges. It's just got some title like that. It was with Amy Adams and it was about to disappear. See, they all sound the same. And at the very end. Slippery when wet. Yes. They can't get enough of these shows.

And I've never read any of the books. Severe tired damage. Something's always on fire yeah or broken glass those are the requirements but at the very end there's a reveal that that she's with the person who who did the murdering and it's it's a whole entire house and then to make the ivory she recreated a house that she lived in and the floor is all real teeth it's the ivory floor and I was horrified by that so right now when you say that all I can picture is someone making an ivory floor of teeth and it's a serial killer

does that happen often? well let me tell you this have you seen who the creator of that show is? no Tamara Dunkelstein former dental student and this is what I mean it's all political her daddy is a big producer she pitches what about

I have an ending shot in mind. It's a floor of all seats. Oh, she just starts with the ending shot. That's it. If we could all just pitch off of an ending shot, we'd all have so many TV shows. Yeah, that's true. And her daddy producer makes her the show for her.

And it's just like, this is why I left New York. So are people using dental school as a stepping stone to Hollywood careers? Sometimes they are. And it's so sickening because like, I'm in it for all your teeth. I'm in it for your teeth. Clearly. And the plaque.

And the plaque. Gimme, gimme. I'm in it for that. And it's just like, you know, I'm adjacent to this kind of behavior because of my husband. And I wanted to talk to you more about him. Yes. So go on. What were you going to say?

Well, you know, it's very emotional because he lives in the limelight. So he has to look a certain way. The amount of procedures I'm doing on his mouth. Oh. Pro bobo. It's crazy. I'm sorry. What's that term?

Pro bobo. Pro bobo? Pro bobo? Yeah. Are you saying pro bono, which is also a legal term? I didn't go to lawyer school. Okay. Fair enough.

When you do free dental, it's pro-bobo. It is. I've never heard of that before. That's my ignorance. How would I know? How would we know? Exactly. Because you never had free dental work.

It's true. Like what you could get in my post. It's really true. That is true. Free bobo. A three-hour cleaning. Well, over a few sessions. Well, that's if it's a is true. Free Bobo. A three-hour cleaning. Well, over a few sessions, multiple sessions. Well, that's if it's a deep cleaning.

A deep cleaning. Yeah, because I got to get everything out of there. But a standard cleaning is three hours. Standard cleaning is three hours. The deep cleaning takes so long because I got to get under the teeth. Yeah. So you have to take some of them out like you're vacuuming. Oh, wait.

So I'm sorry. Are you talking about it like it's furniture? Like you're picking up a chair, you're vacuuming it and putting it back down you are taking the teeth out of their sockets does that qualify as a deep cleaning picking up a chair and vacuuming under no no i just was trying to get the visual i'm not saying that's a deep cleaning bird you know i keep a clean house i know you do but imagine if you had that chair and there's little pieces of sandwich in there. There's spinach leaves. There's sesame seeds.

There's popcorn. That's generally I have been to the dentist many times. I have never heard from anyone else. My children, thank you. I wasn't looking for praise. I wasn't looking for praise wasn't looking for praise

it's not about me guys it's not about me I can't okay it's not about me what I'm saying is I've never heard or seen anything anything about cleaning someone's teeth but removing them to do so well you gotta give me their names because then that means they got a lot of juicy plaque under those suckers

that I'm gonna get out I don't think that's how it works the plaque is just on the outside, not underneath. I mean, again, I didn't go to, I didn't go to dental school. That's right. I guess she's got it there. Maybe I can tell you what's under your houses. Oh boy. She's looking me dead in the eyes.

You can cut the tension with a knife. It makes a lot of sense. If you take the teeth out, then you can just work on it outside of the mouth. It makes a lot of sense. I see how that would be easier, but how do you get the teeth out, then you can just work on it outside of the mouth. It makes a lot of sense. Yeah, I see how that would be easier, but how do you get the teeth back in? I hope these people are being

put under or have incredible novocaine because you are ripping out their teeth. Well, this is why I won't take anyone that already needs tooth extraction. I don't have time. I'm already taking out all your teeth to do this. If we're doing a teeth thing. It seems like it actually would work out fine then because you're already going to take them out. I would think that would be easier to do when people have bridges and partials and things like that.

I can't address the separate issues going on. I have to just focus on the, I'm only on plaque right now. So right now, you know, in my school training, it's like we're on plaque right now. Right. That's all I can really do for you. Chapter plaque. Yeah. And what's the next stage? That's all I can really do for you. You're doing like the chapter plaque. Yeah. And what's the next stage? The next step is cavity.

So big holes, small holes, cracks, stuff like that. Does a crack count as a cavity? Is the crack, so here's a question. So if you have a crack in a glass and no water seeps through, that's a crack. And that's a superficial crack. If water seeping through, that's actually a hole. But you're calling it a crack because of how it looks. But the actual internal DNA of that, it's a hole.

DNA. Okay. Well explained. I say, really? Yeah. What I want to know, what I want to know is if,

how life has changed for your husband, because you're saying you're still having to do all this work on him. I thought you moved here so that he would not get recognized. And I just picture him staying inside all day. Is he, he's doing what's going on. So can I, can I just review very quickly?

So he's famous for doing this video at the Chrysler building, which presumably is, he's not reenacting it live every time. Sure. But there's also a lot of print work, right? There's a lot of, a lot of, a lot of ads, like in? There's a lot of print stuff. A lot of ads

like in magazines and whatnot. Exactly. But I mean, still, I feel like I just saw one recently, I think. Because, so this is kind of an exclusive, but he told me I'm okay to tell strangers. Oh, wow. Okay, this is a scoop. This is great. This is a scoop, but they're doing

a version of the building out here. In Trinity Hall? Yes. scoop but they're they're they're doing a version of the building out here yes like a replica a version a version like a one-to-one scale or it's not one-to-one it's gonna be smaller okay um i would say it's gonna be human height size like the one he's standing next to in the video. And it's going to be kind of like the way there's an Eiffel tower in like Las Vegas and stuff. Yeah, that one is more,

that one's pretty big. Right. But it's so that you don't have to go there. So, so we've been talking to Dignity Falls. Even here, we can't totally avoid it because there's people here that have been to New York.

So they go, Oh my God, you're the Chrysler guy. So he still does get recognized. He still gets recognized. So it's less. If you've been in New York, if you've been to New York so they go, oh my God, you're the Chrysler guy. So he still does get recognized here. He still gets recognized here. It's less. If you've been in New York for more than five minutes, you've seen Steve Chrysler. You've seen him. Ben Chrysler.

Steve is his father. Oh, I'm so sorry. I apologize. That's okay. He's my father-in-law. We get along okay. Oh, that's nice. Oh, I spoke too soon. Say more. Well, he's got a big personality. So he's kind of busting into our house all the time, unannounced, breaking the door down.

Oh. And, you know, we got to entertain him. And it's like, more food, you know. Sounds like a giant in a fairy tale. So we're having to put on movies after movies, but he polishes them off so fast. He watches them on 3X and he's insatiable. Wait, does he live here? He doesn't live here.

But when he's on vacation, because he's so rich, he's always vacationing. Okay. And he just really wants to be with you. He wants to hang out with his son. Sure. That's why he because he's so rich. He's always vacationing. Oh, okay. Here. And he just really wants to be with you. He wants to hang out with his son. Sure. That's why he watches the movie so fast. Because he wants more time. But he also-

He doesn't want to get cats in the cradle. Exactly. Yeah. That's his nightmare. Oh, okay. That's his literal nightmare. When you say you get along okay, the intonation there is just because of how much he's there and how much he eats.

And demanding how much he wants- More food. More eats. Demanding how much he wants more food. He's read every book in the house. I can't say I'm giving him manuals now. I can't say she's good. I'm trying to picture him. He's coming in. He's demanding food. He's watching movies at three times.

He's one of the biggest, you know, like, like behemoths of a corporation. He's, you know, big business and yet he's in this house in Diggity Falls. Exactly.

Did he ever know Lee Iacocca? Who? Lee Iacocca used to be the chairman of Chrysler. Yes, he did. He did. Oh.

I think in the 80s. I, okay, big old Lee. That's how I hear it around the house. Big old Lee. I didn't know. Sure. I didn't know their last name.s. Okay, Big Ol' Lee. That's how I hear it around the house. Big Ol' Lee. I didn't know.

Sure. I didn't know they were about the same. Okay. Yeah, they don't get along so well. Oh, no. Is it because Lee Iacocca's passed away? Lee Iacocca, he didn't like that. So this is kind of what's tricky about my father-in-law.

He's very sensitive. So Steve took it personally when Lee Iacocca died. He didn't like that. Okay. So my mother-in-law passed away. May God rest her soul. Yes. That was touchy. I don't know where we were headed. May God bless her body.

And her gorgeous curves. Oh. When she passed away, he was going to give the eulogy and his eulogy. We had to stop him because he took it personally that she passed away. Wow. And he said, why did you do this to me?

You did this on purpose. You did this to spite me. And we were like, no, she's a very intense person. No, she got hit by a dart. She did not do that on purpose. A dart? She did not do this on purpose. It was a freak accident, but he took it very personally.

And when Bigelow Lee died, he was like, you did this on purpose to scorn me. He did this to leave me alone. His standard eulogy. Exactly. Can I ask, I hate to bring up something that's, that's so sad,

but can you walk us through the dart accident? Horrible. Horrible. We were at a, we were at a bar. It was Steve's birthday. And these hooligans were playing darts. Oh, okay. Steve Chrysler of the Chryrysler building he celebrated his birthday yeah it was at the pig and whistle in new york on um 34th and 5th of all the places yeah yeah and we were knocking back mudslides we were all having a good time yeah it was incredible oh and sounds fun a couple of hooligans you know it was happy hours 5 p.m they were throwing darts and i i didn't i didn't clock

that they had clocked us you know like we thought we were two separate groups you know but they had been razzing us the whole time secretly we found out in their testimonies they had been razzing us oh testimonies they gave each other, you know, dares. Okay. You know, like- This all came out in court. This all came out in court. I dare you to hit, I dare you to hit those pitchers with the dart.

I dare you to hit the IPA tap with the dart. Oh, wow. That seems like very dangerous. You're not supposed to throw the darts all over the bar. The dares also seem to be dart related. Entirely dart related. These guys had a mission and then they said, I dare you to hit that lady with a dart.

That's just assault. Yeah, it is. They went to prison. Okay. Well, I'm glad justice was served. Me too. It's hard though. Even the other guys who did not throw the dart at the lady or did they all- They all were accomplices. Like murder on the Orient Express.

Yeah, people don't know if you issue the dare, you are liable. Wow. And if you double dog, you get more time. That is just so tragic that she was murdered and he stood up and blamed her instead of her murder for her death. It's victim blaming.

Right, and again, just so we're clear. The highest degree. How did the dart lead to her death? Yeah. Oh. So she had a little surgery right here, appendicitis. Oh, okay. And it actually tore through those stitches.

Wow. And so stuff started just coming out. Stuff. A million to one shot. Unbelievable. Yeah. And I believe after hearing those men talk in court, I was like, they knew she had an appendicitis and they were going for her weak spot. How could they have known that?

And I don't know. That's what, death makes you crazy. That's the first time I've been crazy. Death makes you crazy. That's the first time I've been crazy. Death makes you crazy. That was the first time you've been crazy. Yeah. You hadn't experienced death before. No.

Well, I'm so sorry. Thank you. Thank you. She was a real treasure. Sounds like it. Yeah. Well, I mean, we didn't really know that much about her.

Just her gorgeous curves. Very curvy. It was incredible. Wow. May God bless her curves. Oh, may God bless and keep them. Well, Leah, I, you know, thank you for sharing your story with us. Of course.

Of course, we hope you get some takers. And I hope you can move out of the cafeteria of the community college and into a place a little more sterile. I feel bad. I feel like people listening, I'm not sure we've sold this correctly unless someone has a real penchant for something like this, but we've let you know if you're listening that you're going to be in a

cafeteria that's crowded and we let you know that your teeth are individually going to be ripped out. Yes. All supervised by someone who works behind the counter at a cafeteria. If you choose the afternoon, you get Dr. Eggman in the morning. Well, I would

say shoot for Dr. Eggman or just go to a regular dentist. Well, I wouldn't do that. This is if you want it for free. Yeah, this is for free and think about it. If you want pulpit-free dentistry. Exactly. I'm not going to get, I'm no bullshit clean the swamp come to my dentist chair right after you eat lunch what could be better you eat a bunch of

uh celery okay stuff that gets in your teeth that part seaweed salad seaweed salad i don't know what i'm talking about. Sure, stringy. And then you have me right there. Okay. Oh, it's Escrow. That's my dog. He's very old. He's 61 years old.

Oh, my God. How are his teeth doing? Not? Well, the ones that are left. Yeah. Not good. Listen, he's not aware of neighbor hop. If he wants, he can hop in that chair.

You will do a dog's teeth as well. I will do the ones that are analogs to human teeth. What if you got human teeth in there? He might like it. Like give him a set of human dentures? Yeah. Imagine a dog with human teeth. That's actually my third level class.

So after cavities, we go into how to give animals human teeth. That's always cracked up, Doug. When, you know, he sees a dog, when they do this sort of like it's an app, let's give animals human teeth. That's always cracked up, Doug. When, you know, he sees a dog, when they do this sort of like, it's an app that gives it human teeth. I remember he was so mad that they didn't stick with the original Sonic the Hedgehog design. Right, the one with the human teeth.

He's like, what was wrong with it? Oh, they finally got it right. What was wrong with it? Yeah, yeah. Aw. All right, well, Leah, is there anything in order to, a final thing you'd like to say to people

to encourage them to come to your practice. Yeah. I really hate doing this, but he owes me one big time. I will get you an autograph from my husband if you come to my chair. Oh, wow. I need the hours to complete my program.

You're supposed to get 10,000 hours. It's a Malcolm Gladwell style program. That's a very long time. That's a lot. I know. You've already been at That's a lot. I know. You've already been at this for four years. I know. And I've only had the one client. So I need to get my $10,000. So that's only three hours.

Yeah, because it wasn't even a deep clean. So I just need my $10,000. So are you saying like a headshot that's signed? Is this what you're saying? He'll sign. Honestly, I'm going to make it so that he'll sign whatever you bring. Okay. So you can sign a headshot. What if somebody brings a little model of the Empire State Building? Oh, honestly, I'm going to make it so that he'll sign whatever you bring. Okay. You can sign a headshot. You can sign.

What if somebody brings a little model of the Empire State Building? Oh, well, that would just be cruel. I think that's bad faith. Yeah. That would be a bad faith. What if they come in at happy hour? Hooligans are triggering. To the cafeteria?

Hooligans are really triggering because a hooligan killed my mother-in-law. So it's tough. So that might be a case by case. Don't try to like fuck around with him. Yeah. Because he's nice and he might do it, but it'll hurt his feelings. Oh, okay. I know we have so little time, but I am intrigued that he owes you big time.

Yeah. Can you just tell us really quickly why he owes you big time? Yeah. Between us. Oh. Okay, yes. So, Monty Empire from the Empire State Building videos. He has a lot of plaque.

Right. He does a little worse than Ben does. Okay. And I may or may not have put that plaque in his mouth. Oh, wait. So you sabotaged Monty Empire by somehow putting plaque in his mouth?

Wait, because that's... But wait, no. Who are you talking about? Who owes you? So Ben owes me because I did that. She sabotaged Monty Empire. Wow. So he owes me. I went to his house. But he doesn't know that you did this. She sabotaged Monty Emper. He sabotaged. Wow. So he owes me. I went to his house. But he doesn't know that you did this.

This is a huge secret. But he should do it because he's my husband. I agree. You know what I mean? Sure, of course. You don't always tell your partner when you do. I'm sure you and Doug do nice things for each other all the time, but you keep it a secret.

Yeah. I mean, I've not done something like steal plaque from him and put it in someone else's mouth. I mean, that really is an act of love. Wait, did you steal the plaque from your husband and then put it in? And why would you be stealing? Well, maybe those are my words. I mean, you know, because I could have put it

in a little thin bowl or something. I could have memorialized it, but instead I snuck it to Monty's house and slathered it all over his teeth. Oh, goodness. I mean, this is like a whole other episode. Her describing this, we're not going to be able to get to it. But also you do know this will, I mean, they will be able to hear us

whispering. I mean, this might get out. It's true. Yeah, because we were whispering in a microphone. Yeah. But do you think that Ben is likely to listen to this podcast? Ben is so busy consuming the media with his father. I'm not worried about Monty listening to it. Do you think Monty Empire will listen to this?

Does Monty Empire listen to the neighbor? I don't know. I view him as a cultureless nitwit. So I'm not sure if he listens to podcasts or experiences art or reads. I get it. He's such a little, what is it called? What's the opposite of a Philistine? The opposite of a Philistine?

Yeah. Like the opposite of a podiatrist. What's the opposite of a philistine the opposite of a philistine yeah like the opposite of a podiatrist what's the opposite of a philistine he just doesn't like any culture or media i think that he would just be a philistine i think you've got it yes guys i didn't go to vocabulary school you know what fair enough fair enough le enough Leah thank you alright well Leah give her that plaque yeah give her that plaque she wants it

gimme gimme gimme I'm hungry for it 10,000 hours baby let's go 10,000 hours by the end of this week sign up find my post

get in the chair oh you heard it there you go that's all the stuff you need you have your marching orders all the info alright Leah and thank you so much

for coming by thank you for having me it was fascinating speaking to you you too it's really nice to meet you and again much funnier than people say okay again i just this is boy this is gonna bother me for a while okay all right we'll be back with more of the neighborhood listen Hi, everybody. I have got new leather sandals bought in Mexico. Fire emoji. For $10.

That is capital N, capital E, capital W. New. I can't tell you how new these leather sandals are. They are new handmade leather sandals bought in Mexico, never used, very unique, soft, comfy leather, size 12, unisex, would make a great gift, only $10, fire emoji. Now listen, I am telling you, I can't, I can't, I put two pictures up of it, of them, okay? So you can see just how, first of all, how unisex they really are. Any man or woman, non-binary individual, any person, however a person identifies,

they're going to feel comfortable in this shoe or these shoes, I should say. Now, I know what you're going to say to me. You're going to say, Sophia, I didn't even have to zoom in. I saw some wear and tear on the toe. You're going to say to me that these look like they were found in a shipwreck because if you look at it the wrong way, of course, that's what it looks like. If you look at it the wrong way, they look like they are from a museum that maybe are an example of one of the very first sandals that was ever created by a human being at the beginning of civilization. I'm just going to tell you that I received these in Mexico. I've never used them. It's not like they were my favorite go-to shoe for the last 62 years.

And sorry, I don't want to reveal my age. Don't do that math. I'm not sure I did it correctly. It just feels true. I promise you these are brand new and they are fire. And we are back. Well, best of luck to Leah. I'm kind of, it just made me shudder to think about people's teeth being taken out, cleaned, and then put back in.

I was more disturbed. Like, it doesn't sound like she's actually cleaning the tooth. She's just cleaning the socket. That's what it sounded like to me. I understood that she was taking the tooth out, I guess polishing up the tooth, and then putting it back in there somehow. I sure hope so, but she mentioned that that's where all the plaque is underneath, which I'm not sure is

correct. You know what I pictured? What? I can't wait. You know... Doug pleads. Let us into your mind palace. I've learned to give you enough time to just get ready for what I'm about to say.

Oh, yes. Because sometimes I do miss it. You are right. Yes. Yeah. It's true. You know those golf ball cleaners on golf courses?

Yes. Where you put the ball in and then you press it down into the suds. I picture her with the teeth taking them out, putting them into the golf ball cleaner.

Why not put them all in at the same time? Because, gee, they're so small. How about putting them in the microwave and they melt? What was that about? I can't. I'm not sure that's real.

Do you think that's true? And you know what? I don't want to try it. Babe, don't you say a thing because you know the boys are going to try to do it. I was just going to suggest. You were going to try to do it. He's going to try to do it.

Doug, are you going to try to do that? Don't you use July Peas baby teeth. I keep those. I'm keeping those for my life. I thought Doug was keeping them for the apocalypse. Wait, is this a thing?

Doug, a while ago, I don't know if Doug still feels this way. Oh, that's right. He was going, he was saving the kids baby teeth for,

somehow they'd become currency in a sort of Mad Max post-apocalyptic future. That's right. Maybe that's why my instinct was to say you can't use them. Finite resource. Because they know that the world might, they. Maybe that's why my instinct was to say you can't use them. Finite resource. Because they're valuable?

Yeah, they might become currency. All I was going to say is I have a little hack out there for the listeners. Oh. For a microwave hack. You put a little wet paper towel in with a hot dog bun. Uh-huh. Okay. And you microwave that.

It becomes very moist again. Oh, you're talking about if it's a leftover one. Like one that's gotten hard. Because I don't think you need to do that for a brand new hot dog. It doesn't dry out. It becomes really soft. That's what I was thinking with the tooth. Well, because you're putting it on a wet paper towel, I think. Doug's Bun Hacks for you, everybody.

I wish we had time for more of Doug's Bun Hacks. Maybe next episode. We'll space them out. We do have to read one final post I wish we had time for more of Doug Bunhack. We can space them out. Maybe next episode. We'll space them out. Yeah, we do. We do. We do have to read one final post before we go. And Joan, you said you have one. I find it shocking because it's just dropped here.

And then, you know, I didn't even look at the comments because we try not to do that, but I was really tempted to. What do you mean it's just dropped here? Okay. Susan says, anyone heard anything about a murder that happened on maple and maine oh my word i told you maine sometime early sunday morning road yes yeah my friend lives by there and is a bit nervous but i cannot find anything that proves this happened now the word proves is also crazy to me. What? It's okay. So there's no information.

She just thinks there was a murder. Susan's heard from her neighbor that there was a murder at an intersection and she has found no other proof. Right. And it doesn't go on to say what else she did to sort of look it up. I mean, usually we've got because we have the police ticker, you know, usually can find that. Love the police ticker you know usually you can find that love the police ticker absolutely absolutely false police ticker is pretty funny yeah and it's pretty funny sometimes yes you're right it's funny just because how detailed they are yes you know what i mean usually it's just like a quick little thing it's like

robbery happened to am you know arrest me yeah but is like, it's like it describes the conversation. It's almost like a little novella really. Like it's like, someone's really writing the descriptions there. Sometimes it's so, there's such a lack of any serious crimes. Yes. And it feels like they're trying to fill it with things.

Maybe that's it. I don't know why they have to keep it going. Yeah. When there's nothing going on. Yeah. But a lot of times it'll be like, police report they heard a weird noise. And then you're like, well, it's that vague.

I saw a police report, I slipped. And it was like the policeman slipped and he reported it. That's what I was going to say. Sometimes it's just the policeman being like, heard something in my house. And I think they're just using it for their own personal. Can't these guys, they're off the clock i don't know why they're doing that one time it said found two dimes

the finders keepers yes under finders keepers rules this is allowed but i do like it and a lot of a lot of uh uh you know dentist, doctor's offices here in town, they have the old-fashioned paper ticker. Oh, yes. That spits it out. And then you can, you know, trade that with people that are also waiting there. Sometimes you can all hold it together and sort of, you know, like pull it along. Kind of like how it would come out when people were like getting the ticker for the racetracks, for the horse races. Exactly.

Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. If you've seen The Sting. Oh, The Sting. I love The Sting. I love that movie. Robert Redford, Paul Newman, take your pick.

Imagine if Sting was in it. You'd really love it. Oh, wow. The Sting Sting. Oh, my goodness.'d really love it. Oh, wow. The Sting Sting. Oh, my goodness. That would be amazing. Oh, he could play either part. He could play Henry Gondor really well.

That was Paul Newman's role. I do. You think Sting would be just as good as Paul Newman in that role? Okay, well, that is not what I said. So now you're twisting my words around. No, no one could be as good as him, but Sting can do anything. He could do it. He could do anything. What if

somebody replaced the Marvin Hamlisch, Scott Joplin score with Sting music? So then it would be the Sting Sting. Here come the horses round the bend. Is that the same as Murder of Crows?

Yeah. I was also trying to put a little bit of Valparaiso in it because we were talking about White Squall. That was a song that he contributed to the album. What's Valparaiso? Valparaiso. It's just round the Cape Horn to the... Is it the name of a ship?

No, I think it's supposed to be a destination and it might be like mythical. I don't know. I don't know anything about it except for Sting sings the song. On the White Squall soundtrack. Right. And you've been hearing a lot because the boys have been listening incessantly. Is it one of those written for the

music, for the movie so it's at the end credits so it counts? Yes. Yes. I believe so. It was a whole thing. Did not win the Oscar. Would you say it did not?

I like the Your Sting playlist. Sting's greatest hits. Never includes any police or any songs I've ever heard. It leans heavily on Dream of the Blue Turtles, from what I understand. Well, and some Mercury Falling. I'll take your word for that one all right what can i do well i can't help but i love steak if you have any information about a murder that may have happened on this murder please uh let the police know i was gonna say let us know but no let the police know um and also just you know i i don't know i just feel like i really hope this isn't the first thing

that she did, you know. But it does sound like she did some investigating where maybe she might meet Evidently, I don't know, for the job. But I mean, if only he were real. Or she. What's great about Evidently is it could be a man or a woman. I think that was discussed. I think it was even

discussed to be spelling it L-E-I-G-H in that episode. Why don't we do a reenactment of that episode, word for word, just to see if we can do it. And we switch roles. We get a transcript.

Oh, now that's kind of fun. Do you think we can get Sybil back to do that? That's a big question. I don't know. I don't know. We'll just have to see. I guess we'll have to see. Do you think we can get Sybil back to do that? That's a big question. I don't know. I don't know. We'll just have to see. I guess we'll have to see.

We'll just have to see. Well, listen, if you suspect there may have been a murder, why don't I ask the police? Please do. I don't know if they're allowed to tell you. Like, I don't know if you could call them up and say, hey, was there a murder at this intersection? Like, did she just go to the corner and look for, like, blood spatter? Or did she just look for, you know?

What's Susan doing? You know, it reminds me of, you know, in these Batman video games. Oh, again. Yeah. You have to explain these to me, Bernadette, not a video game. There is a, you have sort of detective vision, which will cause things to, you press certain sequence of buttons and it'll cause things to light up. Oh. You know, if you're trying to find something. But there's a noise that it makes while you're in that

mode. Oh. Which is sort of like a ghostly underwater-y kind of sound and it's I find it actually very unpleasant. Oh. Okay. Yeah. Just remembering that now. Putting that out there. Just putting that out there. Well, that's unpleasant as

is murder. So if it happens, or if you hear that it happens... John, what a terrific segue. What a terrific segue. Murder is unpleasant. At the least. At the very least. At the very least, murder is unpleasant. It sure is. It's rude. It's rude. It's thoughtless.

Unnecessary. Well, that's it for us. Well, listen, if you'd like to send us a post, we forgot to mention this earlier, if you'd like to send us a post that maybe we have missed, you can screenshot it and send it to us at burntandjone at gmail.com

and of course, subscribe to if you want to get ad-free versions of the episodes or to have access to and or to have access to our bonus room content where we do additional episodes. You can sign up at the Maximist here at cbbworld.com

cbbworld.com cbbworld.com and then you'll have access to those things. Well done. Thank you. I've run out of things to say. Did you have anything else, babe? Babe, did you get any messages? Doug?

Are you there? Doug, you okay? Oh, here we go. Can you make out what's happening? It sounds like it's between channels. Yeah. Well, that's where the real communication is coming in. This is no murder, but it is unpleasant.

I was about to say the same thing. I do like those little... It got a little pleasant. That's what makes him think it's aliens. It does sound like a 1950s UFO for sure. It does. So when I asked you if you had anything, was that just you're just playing what you're listening to

or was that something? Well, I have to decode that before I can tell you if it's something. What is that process? Take this recording, stretch it out, play it at different tempos, slow it down. Stretch it out. See if I can formulate patterns based off what I'm hearing. Right. Is it possible that there is no coded message and it's literally just static?

I could hear a little bit of talking. I will say that. Right. literally just static. I could hear a little bit of talking. I will say that. Right, but it did sound like a radio stuck between stations as opposed to something that was hidden. A secret encoded message, yeah. Doug, have you ever seen the movie Frequency? No.

Maybe the greatest ham radio movie. Oh, yeah. Oh, baby would love that. Is it ham radio or is it a CB radio? But he is essentially communicating with his dead dad across time. Aw. Poor guy. Poor guy.

Sort of sad, but cool. Yeah, I haven't seen it, but you'd love it. I haven't seen it either, but I had a suspicion that it was not a very good movie because a friend of mine who hardly ever went to the movies, for some reason saw that movie and thought it was the greatest movie he'd ever seen. And so that to me said, that's probably not that good. I tend to like movies that are about a very specific niche,

hobby, or practice, you know. I got to call a such as here, Doug. Such as? Such as Rounders. Oh. It's about poker. Such as? Rounders. Oh. It's about poker. Something like that. Yeah.

Right. It's just so purely about one thing. Then you like the secret lives of dentists. I mean, what's more niche than that? And it's about, but it's about somebody's crumbling marriage. Again, I don't think it is. I'm not sure. I think it's just some indie.

Who was in it? Do you know? I want to say the actress Hope Davis, and I don't know anything more. That sounds about right. That sounds about right. That sounds about right. Was Maren Ireland in it by any chance? How about

Martin Donovan? No, but Michael Shannon was. Michael Shannon, sure. Was he the titular dentist? Possibly. Now I gotta look it up. Everyone, just let us know if you've seen Secret Life of Dentists. Any of those. Any of those. If you've seen any Secret Like, Secret Like.

But you know what? Actually, you know what? Belay that order. We're going to look it up. There you go. Right after we stop here, and we will have that information for you top of next episode. Oh, I love that. Yeah.

Okay, great. So if you can hang on for a week without looking it up yourselves, we will give you a rundown of the secret life of dentists. We'll know faster than you do, unless you look it up yourself. That's right. But in life, we will know faster than you, because we're going to do it right now. That's true. They could already be on the case. They could.

You know what? You're probably ahead of us. It doesn't matter. We're going to look it up, and we're going to get back to you. Please don't look it up. If you're the kind of family that did not open up a prison on Christmas Eve, then you will be able to wait until we break the news to you next week. Oh, until then.

Goodbye. And bye. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed. The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins. And me, Nicole Parker. And me, Brett Morris. Today's guest was played by Rekha Shankar.

The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang World. Go to cbbworld.com to unlock the entire history of the show, ad-free, as well as brand new full-length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maximus subscribers. Your support keeps the show going.