The Neighborhood Listen - Free Shredding Event? with Annie Sertich

Episode Date: November 11, 2025

This week in Dignity Falls, Burnt and Joan discuss the town’s failed attempts at a population count, an update on Gabby's whereabouts, and goo. Meanwhile Doug recovers from a wishing situation gone bad. The NeighborhApp guest this week is Sharon (Annie Sertich), who has been looking to get rid of some old papers.Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for the Maximus plan to unlock this episode and ALL seasons of The Neighborhood Listen ad-free, as well as full length exclusive BONUS ROOM episodes adventuring deeper into Dignity Falls!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website. Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad-free archive, as well as exclusive, monthly episodes of the bonus room, go to CBBWorld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership. And now, please enjoy this episode of

The Neighborhood Listen. Knock, knock. Who's there? Your neighbor. Good. Indignity falls. You're never alone. You've got the neighbor half app.

And us. Burn. And Jode. From coyotes to mail theft to weird things to sell. We'll cover it all. And meet new neighbors as well. We'll chat about any posts you're missing.

So just tune in To The Neighborhood Listen Welcome once more to the Neighborhood Listen. This is the podcast that explored the neighborhood of Dignity Falls Through the eyes of its many residents. How many? A lot. But let's narrow it down right now to just a couple.

I'm one of them. My name is Bird Mea Payday. I'm the pharmacist and chief of the Dignity Falls Missy right here in Dignity Falls. And with me, it is, oh, Joan Pedestrian, I am the top realtor here and a local actress. And it is true. We have never been able to nail down exactly the population of Dignity Falls. Isn't that weird?

There was a census a few years ago. And I remember when they were going to announce it on the news. They said the first ever Dignity Falls census. And, you know, the two anchors, you know, the screen is behind them. And they say, you know, they chat for a bit about how exciting this is going to be. Yes. And it was the guy on Channel B. Steve Sherpa.

Steve Sherpa. I don't watch Channel B regularly. No, Channel B is weird, frankly. Yeah. And, you know, they, what's weird about it is they actually make a cardboard cut out of a TV screen. Yes. But, like, they are on TV. Yes.

But it's like a cartoon screen. And I don't know why they did. They're doing like a children show, like news for children. I don't understand it and they don't acknowledge it and it's really strange. It's very strange. And then at the end of the broadcast, Steve Sherpa reaches through the cardboard screen and he pretends to turn the drawn-on knob. Yes.

But anyway, so it's him and it's Angela Preston. And they're talking about, oh, the census, never been done before. We're finally going to know. and then they cut to the screen to unveil the number and it was the shrug emoji. Yeah, so the first time they tried to do it was indifference.

The second time was, remember hashtag hide from the census? So everybody was I forgot about hashtag hide from the census. It was like the purge, but the opposite, everyone was inside and no one wanted to be outside. No one wanted to be counted.

Yeah, so the indifference one was in 1975. Yes. where people just said, like the census... Which also let us just state that, yes, we were the first people to have emojis back in the 70s. Yes. Yes. We didn't call it an emoji first.

Yes. We didn't call it an emoji, of course. No, no. We called it a glyph. We called it a, you know, a run. But I remember that, you know, people, the census takers were going door to door. And then they would start asking the questions. And people, the most common response was, nah.

And then they would just slowly close the door. Yeah. Or they just go, I'm not here. You know, and they'd be like, we can hear you, we know there. Yes. Sometimes at the door, they would like look at the person and go, not here. It's the number's home.

Other people try to pull a home alone where like they pretended like there were 20 people having a party, you know, and it was just a bunch of cutouts of like Michael Jordan and like an old mannequin. They have them on strings. To throw off the number even more, you know, like, Chris, it's like, okay, there's not only nobody here. There's more than, there's more people. There's not, they're to pretend that there's more people here, you know.

So we really, I think they just gave up, honestly. They did give up for a long while, yes. So I don't know. I think we should try it again. I would love to know how many people are here. Take a stab at it. What would you guess, burnt? It's got to be between 200.

It's got to be between. 200. I had more. No, I know. Between 200 and 75,000. Okay. That's a big, that's a wide range. Yeah.

But you got to admit It's got to be between that I feel like there's more people I don't know In Digny Falls? I guess that's true Proper Probably not

Not talking about Digny flats Digny Badlands Digny Badlands Oh the badlands Oh my God Can you imagine if they tried To do a census We haven't talked about the bad lands

You don't really talk about the bad lands It's a very scary Part of Dignity Falls If you're picturing Mad Max It's kind of not far off Yeah It is people You know, I revisited the Mad Max movies not long ago.

Did you? All of it? Yeah, I did. Okay, okay. And the first one, it's funny because it seems to take place 10 minutes into the apocalypse. Like, there's still businesses and stuff. They're stores. Yeah.

Yeah. Things are bad. Right. They're not great. Is it the thing where like someone's getting their coffee, but they're not paying attention that on TV, it's like, oh, there's a meteor or. Or look at this, you know, I always hate it when they do that. I hate it when they do that.

That seems very specific, and I don't know what you mean. There's so many movies and shows like that. Are you serious? You know, like, where someone's at like a bar and they're having a great time. And then no one's paying attention that, you know, there's like a terrible tragedy happening. Right, right, right. It seems like alien spacecraft. And yet no one's like, hey, look at that.

Which is what reality would be is that everyone would sit on their phones first. Well, of course. We're all just glued to our screens. But this is not a movie podcast. I just have to say that because already we started talking about movies. No, yeah, okay. But then we just mentioned movies. I don't think we have to, you know, we're not discussing a specific film.

We kind of discussed it a little bit. Did you watch the second one, the Tina Turner one? Did you revisit that one? That's the third one. Oh, it's the third one? Yes. Oh, I forgot. What's the second one?

The second one is just Mad Max 2, the Road Warrior. Oh. And then the three is beyond Thunderdome. That's it, beyond Thunderdome. Then we take a break. For a long time. For a long time. And then we have Mad Max Fury Road.

Yes. You know what? Because when you see Mad Max Fury Road, you have in your mind, because it had been such a long time, we're like, oh yeah, this is what the Mad Max world is. And then when you see the first one,

you think, oh, these guys, they have no idea how bad it's going to get. That's true. Yeah. It just, unfortunately, when you started talking, all I could hear was Elizabeth McGovern saying, oh, Max, you're such fury.

Oh, man. You have such Fury. You're in a Fury Road. Why you want such a Fury Road? You're going to get a, fever. Stop being so furious. Mad Mardigan.

So furious. Mad Mardigan. Right on cue, that is our engineer, Doug. Hey, babe. Hey. Oh, you are peppy today. I am. I just took Benadryl.

Oh. Okay, so here's the thing. Yeah, Doug has a crazy, listen, he didn't tell me that something happened to his hand yesterday. Oh, no. And here's why. Because he, he had, on his left hand, I'll let him explain what happened. But he just, he held up his hand. He was like, hey, look, babe, it's like I have a cartoon hand.

And he was so excited. This thing, he looks like, you know, it's like a Thanos glove at this point. It's literally huge. And he's excited about it. And I was like, you need to take Benadryl. You know, instead of looking how cool it is, you need to actually, you know, like, treat it with a medicine. I'm picturing because of the two images so fast, I'm picturing Mickey Mouse with Thanos hands. Why?

Well, he's in a cartoon hand. So you're picturing the white glove. Yeah. But it's Thanos style. He's like, it's a big gauntlet. All the pay bad, any.

What was his point? It's so dumb. That goate? Why did he have a goate? It was his chin. I think it was just a big chin. But it looks like it's designed as a goatee. I never got that impression.

Never got it. I think you're wrong. You think if he shaved, he'd have a teeny little chin. Do you think if you made a fork groove and mashed potatoes, you'd be like, look, a goatee? Like close encounters?

Yeah. Exactly. So what actually, what do you think it is that bit you, babe? I think it was a chipmunk. Really? Yeah. They are poisonous. People don't realize that.

People don't say, and they say they're poisonous, but they've never bit a human before. Yeah. Well, they're too fast. I feel like they never stick around long enough. How did one bite you? What were you doing? I was reaching into the tree, into the hole in the tree. Okay.

Were you leaving presents for the kids, too Radley style? Well, I was seeing if there's a present in there. Oh, sure. As I say, it's like a, you know, a wishing situation. It's a wishing situation. Oh, that's what they say, yeah. You know, one of those wishing situations. If you wish hard enough and you reach in there, you know, there might be something.

We don't. Didn't he'll tell you don't wish for anything specific? You just wish that something will be in there. Yeah, it should be a surprise. Digny Falls patrons, cities, citizens, cities, cities, cities. Yeah, Digny Falls Citys, Citysons, the dignitaries. We're not, we're pretty cynical about wishes. So it's like, we don't have wishing wells.

We just have wishing situations where it's like. That is kind of a regional identity. We are pretty cynical about wishes. We're like, maybe, you know. I mean, when we go to buy candles, most of the time, people just say, forget it. Don't even bother. If you go to a birthday party in Dignity Falls, after the song is sung, before the person blows out the candles, there's always a big eye roll.

Yes, there is. Even for children. And sometimes the children do the eye roll. They learn it young. You learn it young. Absolutely. And then you all say together sometimes, what are you going to wish for infinite wishes? And that's hard to get in unison because that's a long phrase.

I never thought of that in a birthday cake situation. Only thought of it in a genie situation. That's true. So you were hoping for maybe a wishing situation in the tree. in the hollow and it just and did you see the chipmunk? No. So why do you think it's a chipmonging around?

Well, I heard I heard the sort of squeaky you know sounds of a chipmunk Sometimes Doug actually thinks that they do sound like Chimaday and I think he probably imagined here or something like that. You know the chipmunks that I liked better? They were gophers, the goofy gophers

from the Warner Brothers cartoons and they were very polite to each other. Oh, I think I remember. After you? No, after you? Oh, they were adorable. They were great. They were great.

Yeah, they were better than... We don't have to rank them. You don't want to, but... I remember there was one where there was some wood shavings. Mm-hmm. And it looked like a sort of wig, and the one put it on its head and said, who am I making like? Who am I making like?

And then did like a little Shirley Temple impression. Who am I making like? Who am I making like? That is delightful. I'm reminded, remember when the twins, they played me, Alvin and the Two Monks slowed down. Oh, they did, yes. I couldn't sleep for a week. It's like, you're never supposed to hear that.

It's from the depths of hell. It's a terrible sound. It's a terrible sound. What was it again? It was slowed down versions of the Chipmunks like Alvin's. Oh, yeah. So you hear, apparently, how they really recorded it. Yeah, when Dave gets mad, he sounds like a monster.

He sounds like a race from beyond the grave. who's come to claim out of soul. Oh, wow. Terrifying. Oh, Benadryl's hitting. Okay, good. Wait, what did the twins do? Oh, they would play the slowed down.

Yes. Which is normal speed. They record it at normal speed. So the chipmunks themselves sounded normal, but then Dave sounded insane. Terrifying. Is that what you're saying, babe? Is that not what you were saying? No, that's not what I'm saying.

Are you okay? I think he's, I think the Benadryl is hitting. I do think he's. He's never really had Benadryl before. You grew up with Alvin and two mugs. They sound the way they sound. Uh-huh. And then you're told later that they actually sped up the tape and that was just, you know,

a barbershop quartet singing. A barbershop quartet. Or, you know, trio. Did you say quartet? I don't think I did. I hope I didn't. Barbershop trio? Well, we have the...

I don't know that there's any configuration of barbershop singing. other than quartet. I think that's the only one. I think it's just a cappella trio. Why is that? Well, just four chairs in the barbershop. Yes, exactly.

Well, there's also four parts that a person can, you know, that they can sing. But why is there not a barbershop trio, I guess is the question. I understand. I understand what the question is. I just don't want to talk about it. You know what? Understood. I don't really.

Fair way. I want to get back to how you're feeling, babe, okay? Because, and also there's going to be listeners that are going to come for us and say that. Shipunks are poisonous. They're venomous because you can't say that. Oh, that's right. Unless you're talking about the fact. that some of their fur, sometimes if it's

topical, like if you touch the skin or the fur, is it poisonous? I don't know. Okay. The Dany Falls chipmunks are. Their fur is poisonous. I think it's their bite. They have venom in their teeth and they can get

it into you and that's what you think happens. Yeah. Okay. And my hand actually were the teeth marks adorable? They're very cute. Okay. And you're probably right. It's probably chipmunk then. Yeah. Can we get back to the oven of the chipmunks? Oh, sure. Alvin?

Let's not, don't worry about him too much. He's really loopy. He's really loopy. You know what I'm going to ask. Oh, really? I may have said Alvin. But I meant Alvin. Sure.

So you were told. Simon Theodore. Simon Theodore and the other one. Alvin. Alvin. He really left my brain completely. So Alvin Simon and Theodore, the chipmucks. Yes.

When they are recorded, they are people that are speaking and singing at a normal range. Normally, I believe. Yes, I believe so. But then it's sped up to make them sound like little woodland creatures. That's right. Okay. And then, and continue from there. The twins found the original versions.

Right. And I just. We don't know how. And they knew it would torment me. We're going to skip past that part. They knew. would torment you. Yeah.

Okay. But why would it torment you? But you would only hear just regular men singing. It was just Dave. Is that correct? Dave. Dave would be the one who would end up slowed down. Yes, he would have been slowed down.

And that's the part that was creepy, right? That's not the part that was creepy to me. Well, then what was? Okay. What was it? Just the magic dispelling in front of your very eyes. What? Hearing just regular, regular people sing these songs that meant so much.

What do you mean? Magic the Spelling? Is that a game that people play in basements? Magic dispelling. Oh, I thought he's in magic the spelling. The magic dispelling. Do we all have hearing issues? I'm going to be honest. I gave myself a shot of Benadryl.

Just for fun. It's just something. I just want to spice things up a little bit today. I was feeling a little slow. So I'm feeling a little loose. You know what I mean? It's pretty fun. You want a hit?

You want some? No, I'm fine. It's bubblegum flavor. Come on, Burns. That's okay. That's okay. Well, I don't know, a little bit. Okay, here you go.

bubblegum in some rubbing alcohol. I see. So you're talking about just simply hearing that they weren't the chipmunks was disturbing to you. Ordinary men in the 60s or whatever it was recorded singing, I'm sorry, so sorry. Is that what the chipmucks saying? Oh. I only remember the Hulu Hoop song. Yeah.

You mean the Christmas one? Yes. I hope and I hope. That's right. Me, I want a Hulu Hulu. who. So I was saying, I'm sorry. But you were an adult man when the children were playing this.

Of course, we're talking about my twins. My twins, Matt and. I can't believe it's not Matt. Yes. How do they hunt down these rare recordings? Yeah, that's what I want to know. Who knows? Oh, okay.

Well, I guess they found it in the wishing tree. Maybe they found them in the wishing tree. Yeah. Anyways, Doug is in the Tron room today. The Tron Room. Now, does that mean what I think it means? It's a black room with a lot of glowing lines. A lot of glowing lines.

That no one finds interesting. Now, here's the thing. I was a fan of Tron when I was a kid. I did. I really enjoyed it. I really enjoyed it for some reason. Wow. I thought the suits.

were cool. I thought there was a ride at Disneyland where you would go through a room and it kind of looked like you were you know

on the grid. Sure. Right? I feel like that was a master control program. Yes, MCP. And I know that Doug loves

the idea of getting sucked into a big handle. Oh yeah. Yeah, I mean when you can go back and look at it, it's very simplistic but it worked on me.

And then I got rid of that. Yes. Because, like, as you know, I spent quite a bit of time in California from, you know, from here to there. And I'm from here to there, as you do. And so I just thought, well, we have all these other rooms. Why don't have a Tron room? And also, I know that Doug loves the idea of, like, getting sucked into a video game.

I mean, that's why he was so excited about his hand, his record Ralph hand. He was, I know that's kind of why he had the idea to do this in the first place. How's it looking, babe? Is it doing any better? Can you see it in the dark? Well, both. Your hand and the room. The hand is.

It's strangely weightless. Like, it actually feels like it's lifting up. Like it's filled with air. Yeah. Like it's lighter than air. Yeah. Which could be the chipmugs. Could be the chipmug venom.

Yeah. Could be the chipmug venom. I have heard that some local women are injecting the chipmug venom into their cheeks. Oh, no. Why? I know. It's a thing. You know, everyone's getting all, like I told you, it's never, I was the one who got shut down for wanting to get the total face change.

But listen, now. everyone, everyone and their neighbor is doing this kind of stuff. Well, you're not going to do that, are you, Joan? You know, I would love to try doing it for, like, for my lips. I wouldn't mind that. I wouldn't mind it plumpy, a chipmunk venom lip. That always looks so good. I got to admit.

When people get those lip plumbers, I got, I have to admit. It looks terrific every time. I don't want it when they're sticking out to. You literally almost look like a duck bill. Well, there's fillers, and then. there's venom. And, uh, but it's really hard to come by. And they haven't figured out a way how to extract it without being cruel.

So that's why, that's why I'm not going to do it right now. Yeah. Because they haven't found a safe way to do it. What, how do they do it now? They, um, they, they, they, they literally, uh, well, they traumatize it out of them. And they, and they, and they spend a lot of, they will, they will, they will get to know these chip and find out what their specific trauma is. So it's different every single time.

It's kind of like that Nathan Fielder showed. They abandoned them at a certain point. They set up these elaborate situations and scenarios, you know. And hire actors. And, you know, it's a whole thing to, like, get them into the exact spot that relives that trauma that they went through. And then... I would assume they all, they would all have pretty much the same traumas. Chipmunks have...

A bigger animal. The end. The end. falling out of the tree. You know what? Good one. Sure. So wait, how does the room look right now?

Like, is it going to be the old school or is it going to be like the newer movies? I haven't seen the new one yet. The new movie? What are you waiting for? It's pretty old. Even the new one's old now. That came out forever ago. Is there a mark a difference between the aesthetics of the original tron or the current tron?

I think so a little bit. I mean, just like the technology was much better. right and the suits were, I think, sexier, although they were pretty sexy back in the day. Sexyer. What? Bruce Boxleiner, he looked good. I forgot about Bruce Boxleiter. How can you forget about that name?

Is there a better name that Bruce Boxleitner? Staircrow and Mrs. King? Was that what he was into? Oh, yeah, I think so. You're right. John, I used to wear a bike helmet. A bike helmet? Yeah, they do kind of look like they're wearing bike helmets. I mean, because they ride those... They're riding light bikes.

Oh, they're so cool. Light cycles. That's what it's called. So fun. Are you going to put a light cycle in there? Like a Peloton? Yeah, like a Peloton. Just sit on it and you don't do anything? Well, you want the movie playing for one of the movies on the Peloton screen. Yes, yes.

Yeah, yeah. Sounds good to me. He's not doing well, I don't think. It's hanging on my thread on that room. Sounds good to me. I already, it was so, I mean, one of my dreams, which I already, was starting with the internet room. Do you remember this? Oh, I remember the internet room.

I always love the idea of being in cyberspace, like the way they promised the future to us was we become sort of avatars within a fake virtual space. And we float around and we enter the library within cyberspace. Weren't they always, I don't know that they were promising us that so much as saying this would be bad. this happened. I think that was it. Wasn't it a cautionary tale? Always. Oh, there's a word for that. What is that?

For a cautionary tale? For a cautionary tale that people take at, they just start making it happen. Oh, I know what you mean. Yeah. Yes. It's like the Matrix. The Matrix, you're not supposed to want the Matrix to be real, but people are trying to make it real. Yes. Yes. Oh, I don't know what you're talking about. And there's a term for that. You've never heard of this? I'm not sure I have. Well, you know, in Dignity Falls, there's, there's these, um,

what do they call they're like called goo caves where you know you go there and you get in some like tub filled with goo and they glue like a cable on the back of your neck and they tell you you're powering a grid what bert you're blowing my mind i have not heard of the goo caves i can't it's such a stupid fan well i feel stupid because i can't believe it's not mad it's been telling me about goo caves for a while now and i just keep on shutting him down because you know it sounds like something he would make up no that's true he doesn't lie a lot, but this time he's bang on. He lies a lot about being Matt. Do you know what I mean? Yes. And I can never tell since obviously they're twins, so I just don't trust anything he says. And again, they are not identical twins, but they are fraternal twins who look identical.

I really thought he was just full of it about the goo caves. And now I'm wondering just how far down this goes. I mean, does everyone know about this? Am I the only one? I mean, have you been? I don't I don't know how to answer that question.

I've not been. Well, to be fair, I asked a few. I don't like to be in goo. And, you know, ever since, you know, at the, when we used to work at CVS, and there was a, we got this big shipment of that gel that doctors use for ultrasound. And somebody said, you know, and they wouldn't take it back. And so. They wouldn't take it back. Yes.

Okay, we'll probably have to use it all. They said it's your problem now. And it's like, well, we don't really, this is not something that we have use of at the pharmacy. Uh-huh. And one of the guys at the pharmacy said, why don't we do, like instead of a foam party, we'll do a, gooo party? We'll do a goo party. And so we, you know, it was after hours of the pharmacy. It was the team.

And, yes, it was the team. The whole gang was there. And we turn the lights down. We put on these, you know, cool party lights. And we just all got... In the pharmacy. In the pharmacy. This doesn't feel like it was sanitary,

especially given all the things that are there, you know? Like, how did you keep things clean? Well, we didn't do it behind the glass. We did it out in the store area. Okay. You know, who cares about that stuff? Sure. There's already so many blood stains on that carpet.

Yes. And so we all got slathered up in that goo, and it was just so uncomfortable. It sounds terrible. Yeah, because we were in our clothes. Oh, well, my God. the goo thing is that stuff is really terrible

and it's always cold and if you're a lady you just know it's the worst thing to do it possibly I don't know I wish it was I don't know if it helps conduct it helps the ultrasound

camera I have no idea they always warn you as if it's extra cold today they do they always just say it's gonna be a little cold it's gonna be cold like it's a pool

right now burn we haven't talked about you yet how are you doing and how's Gabby I'm well. Gabby's condition remains unknown to me. I have not yet found her.

You still haven't found her? No, she's been weeks and weeks and weeks, Burns. She's really hiding. Well, she's been giving me clues. I mean, she thinks there was a census out going on the way she's hiding. Yeah, she's really, she's just really elusive, but she does drop me these clues. And, you know, I'll go to a place where I think she might be. and then there will be...

Could you give us an example of one of the clues I'm going to call such as? No, it's going to. Oh, okay. Just wanted to make sure I was going to get what I wanted. I absolutely was going to.

I promise. So I'll get to a place where I think she is. Okay. And I will look around and try to see is anything out of place? Is there anything where it shouldn't be?

Is there something that wouldn't normally be there would be there? So like I go to an alley. Okay. And, you know... Because the clue led you to an alley?

No, no, well... This is what... See, Seaburn, this is why... Now I don't regret interrupting. But you have to understand, it started with no clues. So I had to just guess

where's the place that she might be hiding. But you said she'll leave me clues and then I'll go to this place. What? I'm just trying to understand. She's making me crazy. I'm trying to... She's making me crazy.

She's making you crazy. Yes, I don't love. like that she's not being specific with her clues. Wow. Here's what happens. All right. No clues at first. No clues at first.

So the first place I went was to the, um, uh, the, the, the fire station. Okay. Uh, the one that's up on the, the big hill. Oh, yes. Uh, and, uh, because she doesn't, that's not her base anymore, but it used to be when we first met. Okay. And so I'd go up there because I would visit her on her lunch break. Mm-hmm.

And we would. would go down into the sort of storage basement. Okay. And, you know, we'd like have like a little picnic there and then penetrative sex sometimes. I knew that was coming. I knew that was coming. Well, we're adults. Byrd, why do you always have to say it that way?

Why do you always have to say penetrating is sex? What's wrong with that? Isn't that all sex? What do you want to call it? I'm trying to be genteel. I feel like that defines what it is. That's not all. Penetrated apart.

Okay, fine. We can get into that. I don't want to get mired in the goo of sex. But, but you're not doing it. Well, that's a much worse way of putting it. That is much worse than penetrative sex. Yeah. Mired in the goo.

Mired in the goo of sex. So, is that the firehouse? It's like standing in the shadows of love. Is that the firehouse with the moat around it? Yes. Yeah. And so, so I went there and it was like, well, she's not here. And then I looked around and was like, wait a minute.

That brick. seems out of place. A brick. Seems loose. Okay. So I pull the brick out. I pull the brick out. Brick.

Out. And then there's a little, and then there's a note in there. There's a note in there that will say something cryptic like, interesting guess, but not as interesting as where I am now. It's a place you've been before, but have never seen. Oh, no. I'm like, what does that? How do I,

a place I've been before, but I've never seen? Well, so you were blindfolded when you were there or you sleepwalked there? I was unconscious. You were in the hospital. Oh, oh, I didn't know you have, okay, fine, great.

It took me a while to figure it out. Well, you were unconscious in the hospital. Is this when you ate the, you had the tuna allergy where you realized that it made you. I had a tun allergy. Magnet it. And it made me magnetic.

It made everything. No, it made you un-magnetic, right? It made you repel everything. That's right. Exactly. It made me un-magnetic. Maybe repel all metals. So I was unconscious when I was brought there and I was unconscious when I left. So you woke up.

So you went to the hospital? I was, this is what I was told. You were told to go to the hospital? No, I was told that I was taken to the hospital. Oh, I'm saying when you were figured out the clue, you went to the hospital. Oh, yes. I'm sorry. Okay, fine.

This has been really a lot of work. You came to on the curb, like in the wheelchair. I came to back in my apartment. Back in your apartment. Yes. And what happened was they, you know, gave me a shot of whatever. And, but I seemed so peaceful, they didn't want to wake me up. Okay.

So they took me in an ambulance, quiet ambulance. Back to my apartment. That's nice. We voted on a measure to have quiet ambulance as in Dignity Falls because everyone got so tired of it. People were really stressed out about it. And so they just decided that you could still have the lights. Yes. You could still have the lights.

And I like how it. goes just shh what goes sh babe the siren okay yeah oh it's just a hush there is something that

whether it's the the full siren or the hush there is something that's very solemn about when you pull over to let an ambulance pass that everybody does it

you know what I mean there's something about that moment I find very moving I agree with you yeah I do think that I do think that I hate it when people

don't do it There's every once in a while there's that one person. It's probably like that guy, Kieren, from the last episode, who ran through that stop, Kieren, who ran through that stop sign. He probably doesn't, he probably doesn't pull over for them.

Hey, Doug, have you heard from Jimskis? Oh, yeah, has Jimskewis. I haven't seen him. I think he was really upset by that last episode. No, that's too bad. He shouldn't be. He's the one who left you on a ladder. All right, so, Bert, I just want to say,

first of all, that's some pretty crazy connectivity you have to her brain that you're coming you're pulling these clues out of nowhere. I don't know. The fact that you went there and you were correct, I feel like it makes me feel like there's hope for you because if you guys are that close and she's going to that much trouble to be found, she wants to be found

and she wants to make you work for it. I don't know what the lesson is you're supposed to learn here, but there's something. She's enjoying the game. Yes. And I have to say I am too. Oh, okay. Well then guess what? It is frustrating. I do miss her terribly. I'm sure. But I do think that the lesson here is I have to put in work on this relationship. I do think that is a good takeaway.

Are there any clues you're working on now? Ooh, good question, babe. Thanks. Yes. So the last place I went was the abandoned amusement park where we had our third date. Okay.

And that was where we walked through all of the defunct dark rides. Oh, sure. With a flashlight. Yes. And then if, you know, I presume. Yeah. Oh, no.

You're going to say it. We got mired in the goo. And so I found in a, there was the mouth of a, of a, one of those creatures that was in like the spook house or whatever. You know, you go through that thing and it was supposed to be scary. And one was just, you know, there's like a, there's like a wolf man. There's a vampire. and then there's a very long ride

and then at the end there's a guy who his political dreams got crushed that's the final room right I remember this ride it was like 37 minutes long yes it's crazy 20 minutes are that guy explaining who he is

he goes to the whole history of this made up campaign yeah you also have to be really tall to ride that ride very strange yeah they have a high requirement well they do for lots of rides but for that it makes no sense because it goes like two miles an hour yeah but they you have to be you have to be six foot and above so the only way a lot of people have ever seen this ride is going to it when it was abandoned yes that's right i think that's why the park shut down because they had these crazy requirements

yeah one was you had to be so small so small um people would just put pets on the ride there was one it was basically just cats which was kind of fun but they did not enjoy it was it was fun to watch especially the part where it's spun it's spun that's right it did not do a loop to loop it just spun

spinning cats okay so yes so inside the breast pocket of the failed politician's jacket there was a note that said when I am here I am not family Oh

Oh Instead I come as a stranger And leave Even stranger than that Okay the first part Obviously I feel like is about Olive Garden

Stranger things Well but Olive Garden When you're there you are family Right So it's like It's either the antithesis of Olive Garden Which would be what Um

Well it's Prune Factory Doug, you may have cracked it. The prune factory. It is not a popular restaurant in Digny Falls, but... You do go there as a stranger. You go there's a stranger.

You go there. And you leave as a stranger, then you arrived. And you get half a breadstick. Yes. They're severely limited breadsticks. That's what it's called. Severely limited breadsticks. Ceilinged breadsticks.

They're not bottomless. One a month. One a month. So if you go to the restaurant twice. Twice. It's only open from... No, you got your breadstick. It's only open from three to six because

the patrons are also old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 3 a.m. to 6 a.m. 3 a.m. to 6 a. That's when you're in need of the prune factory, for sure. They get up. The oldies get up. They have breakfast there. Yep.

That's okay to call them the oldies, right? Yeah. Okay, sure. well babe maybe you have cracked it but how long have we been talking I feel like maybe we should need to take a break and get to our guest oh this hurts my hand oh babe could you use the other one

maybe well I'm using that one to lift this one up oh that's not good I'm sorry you're using your good hand to pilot the bad hand yeah he's like yeah I use my bad hand to lift the wait is it heavy

why can't you use I know I never realize this was a two hand Good job. I have to keep this bad hand above my heart. Oh, I see. Okay. There also starts turning necrotic. Oh. It starts turning to, but then if you raise it back up, it goes back to normal. Yeah. It's kind of fun to see that I'm like a chameleon. I don't think it's fun at all. I think we need to take you to an urgent care pretty soon. Yeah. Pretty soon. Pretty soon. Yeah. But first our guest. Well, listeners, we apologize and we'll be back when the neighborhood listen returns.

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Walk together I'm an 82 year old male and I'm looking for a male walking companion so we might encourage each other to get a little more exercise 30 minutes more or less once or twice a day

if you are an interested male or know a male who might be interested call me at beep I don't want to give out my number in the recording Just mails please, mails!

It's very important. It has to be a male! And the reasons for that are my own, I don't need to explain myself to you, and you don't need to hear an explanation from me. So that's that all tied up on both ends. I'm just, it's a simple request, just looking for a male to walk with me.

Because I'm also a male, and I walk in a male walk in a male way. So it makes sense to have a male. Now look, I'm explaining myself and I said I wouldn't do that. And I won't do it any again. I won't do it any again. Mail!

And welcome back to the neighborhood. Listen. Well, Joan, it's that time. We have a guest right here at the Kitchen Island. We do. And it's weird. I'm sitting astride you. Is that what you say? A stride? Hmm. If you're sitting in the... I don't know.

Sound like that made you, that was like suggestive to you. Well, it sounds extremely suggest. I'm sorry. What do you think you're trying to say? We normally sit across each other at the Kitchen Island here. Yes.

And because we've accidentally touched a feat underneath it and it's always really shocking for you, I tried something different today because I didn't want to do that. So you're sitting next to me. I'm sitting next to you, but it feels even weirder. But you don't say a stride? No, a stride is. you would be on top of me.

Like a stride, a horse. Oh, sorry. Well, then, isn't there a specific? Isn't there a word other than beside? Next to? A kin to? Just for the record, everybody, I am not, I am not straddling burnt, okay? I'm not straddling him.

Did you take more the Benadryl? I did. We did. We did get shots all around. We did do Benadryl shots. We did do Benadryl shots. My swelling is spread to. Babe, how is that possible? Now it's on both of my sort of biceps.

No. So it looks kind of like floaties. Okay. That's interesting. Thinking about going for a dip. Okay. I would not go in a pool right now. Okay.

Continue, burnt. Sorry about that. I'm just sitting next to him. Everybody calm down. Yes. But it is weird. Okay. So we do have a guess.

And if you have, we, we, here's what we do. For every episode, we comb the neighbor habit. The social networking application devoted to neighborhoods. We look for interesting people in our neighborhood to talk to, help them amplify their message, ask them questions about something that doesn't make sense, what have you. And if you see a post that you think we maybe should invite the person on to talk to,

why don't you screenshot that post and send it to us at Burton and Joan at gmail.com. Now this one is interesting. Oh, okay. I found this post. And I did a little digging. Oh. The first time this person, posted about this issue

was a year ago Oh Does anyone know of a shredding event In our area sometime soon Looking to get rid of old papers That same year Does anyone know of a free paper shred event In the area any time soon

And then just five days ago Wow Any recommendations for shredding Would prefer a free event but doesn't look like anything in the area have several bags of old docks I want to get rid of and here to explain

these posts and why the shredding is so important and what a free shredding event is is Sharon. Sharon, hi! Thank you so much thank you for, I've never been in a kitchen island I've been in a kitchen and I've been in an island but I've never been

Is that interesting? Never. Never a kitchen island And that's so funny. It's such a sort of commonplace thing to have in a kitchen. Where do you live? What's your setup? I live in just a one room. Okay. Just like a studio.

Just a one room, studio. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So the kitchen, it's a kitchenette. Right. I don't have a kitchen. You wouldn't have an island, sure. Right, right, right.

Well, then I'm glad I put you across from us. So you get to really enjoy it. I got to say. You know, you're in the kitchen where things happen. Right. But you're floating around an island. Get all the. Get all the sides.

You guys, this is fancy. I really appreciate this. I love someone who's such an immediately happy guest, you know, just it doesn't take much. Absolutely. What islands have you been to? I have been to Mackinow Island. That's the one island.

Oh, sure, yeah. I've heard of that. Where is that? That's upstate Michigan. Yeah. It's called the Uper's is what they call themselves. Upers. What's that mean?

Oh, Upper Peninsula. Yeah, but they all talk like this, you know. They do kind of, we have cherries and fudge. Lots of fudge, lots of fudge. Cherries and fudge. Cherries and fudge. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Not together, I hope. Well, I don't know. I don't think that's a bad combo. Really? I do. There's fudge-covered cherries. Absolutely, there are. Fudge covered.

Without a doubt. Not just chocolate covered, but fudge-covered. They're decent. You might as well say cake-covered cherry. There's things called pasties, and they're not what you think. They're not the things you put. Well, certainly, if it's coming out of your mouth, who knows. Joan, you must have done some theater up in the UP.

Oh, my goodness. Do you? This is so. Are you recognizing me as a local actress here at Dignity Falls? I'm sorry. Cheaper by the dozen. Oh my gosh. Yes.

Oh, wow. She's pulling on some of the classics 15 years ago. Joan did. Cheaper by the dozen. She played not only the mom, but three of the kids. I played three of the children. Believably. Thank you.

It was so good. No, I have a lover at theater, I have to say. Oh, well. I'm a lover of it. Welcome. We're so happy to have you here. How do you tread the board yourself? Oh, no.

Back, just backstage. Don't get me in front. Oh, you're interested in crew. Oh, we should get you involved. Oh, don't even. Listen, I'm really good with sound, okay? I like to, you know, hold for sound, hold for plane. That kind of stuff.

Oh, folks like a foliarist. It's more like film production. Yes. I've dabbled a little bit. What do you do for a living? Yeah, I work in sound. Oh, you do? Yeah, I do.

I'm a sound engineer. Yeah. For who? For where? Well, right now. For why? When? Isn't that a lot of questions.

I had a couple gigs Pre-pandemic Pre-pammy Yeah, the pre-pammy The pre-pammy I've heard that one before Yeah, yeah Shortening pandemic to Pammy

Skip the end and the D Yeah And the E I know It was rough No, I worked I was like a third On the call sheet for sound

So I'd just show up I always had a boom kit And sorry, what were you shooting? I wasn't shooting anything I'd just show up Sure, but what was the project? You just show up Independent films

Okay Yeah, I cut my teeth on Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants a long time ago. You did? That's what I love that movie. What did you do in that film? Sound as well, yeah, but I was just an assistant there. So I carried, I carried the equipment. Sure. You could say PA, but I like to say PA and sound. Okay. I like, I like, you know, different kind of sounds. So I collect sounds. What kind of sounds do you like? Birds, wind shimes, people yelling. Oh, you get along great with my husband, Doug. You can't see him because he's in another room.

He loves bird noises. Listen, what do you say people yelling? Hold for birds. Do you like them yelling specific things or just sort of wordless screaming? I feel like you can tell a lot by what wordless screaming. You can decipher. You can't. But if you really listen to two people yelling, you can figure out all their details.

Absolutely. It's a character study. But don't put me in front of a camera. Okay. But I do love characters. What we will do is ask you why. For almost a year now, you've been on a quest for a free shredding event. Could you talk about that?

It's been rough, Joan. Here's a deal, okay? I have a lot of documents. It seems that way. Can you describe the nature of these documents? I mean, to have that many that you're in deep need of it for an entire year. I'm an avid journal. Journaler.

An avid journaler. An avid journaler. A lot of ideas. Right. I don't want to brag. A lot of plays. A lot of screenplay ideas. A lot of things that I just don't think I can just throw out.

Why? Because your fate, someone's going to find them and steal them. Hey, you said it. You said it. But then why are you throwing them out? Why are you getting rid of them? Yeah. Well, because I feel like in order to find the next idea, you got to birth the old ones.

And you got to destroy them. Yeah, birth and destroying. Yeah. So I'm trying to get rid of. A birth is a kind of a destruction. It kind of is. I'll tell you what. I mean, I had twins.

It destroys a pregnancy. yeah that's such a messed up way of thinking about it burned yeah it destroys the end of a pregnancy and then i think that's a good pregnancy destruction announcement yeah i think people like that please congratulate us on the destruction and it's a picture of a beautiful baby yeah okay all right anyways back to the situation here's my question for you yeah Sharon is that have you tried to sell pitch

get any of these ideas out into the world before you're going to destroy them you know is one of the reasons you want to destroy them because these are things you attempted to get in front of people and it didn't work out. Great question. Thank you. Thank you. That is a really great question. A couple things I did a few free readings on. Oh, you did.

Yeah, and I felt like they just, you know, I didn't really get the traction that I wanted on them. Oh, it's so hard to get people to show up to things sometimes. Yeah. What was the response? For that it was, they were pretty terrible. They were sort of hallmark with like, you know, a little R-rated hallmark stuff. Oh, these were the projects.

Yeah. And people just felt like, you know. Can you give us like a title of one and like can you tell us about one of them? Give us a log, lie. An elevator pitch. You know what they say? Got to pitch it in an elevator. Well, I thought you know what was elves in Christmastown.

What if all the elves were sluts? Okay. And in order to save the Christmas cabin, because there's always a cabin. There's always a cabin. You know, you've got to perform different acts of stuff. Oh, penetrative sex, burnt, there you go. You'd love it. Oh, do you only enjoy penetrative sex?

Oh, I enjoy all kinds of sex. Okay, good. Good. Yeah, because there's lots of people. But now you do agree. There's other kinds of sex-to-size penetrates. Okay, there has been an argument about it. I think I was making a different point, but fine.

Let's move on. Someone in this kitchen seems to think all sex is penetrated. I'm going to get voted off the island. Joan, listen. And my nickname in college was Frogger, okay? Why is that? Yeah, that could be so many reasons. Think about it.

And it wasn't penetrative. Wait. Are you saying that the logs and the snakes were just other partners and you were just jumping from partner to partners? Is that what you're saying? I didn't do it with animals, Joe. Come on. No. I think she's being metaphorical because we thought you were being metaphorical.

Oh, I was being medical. Right. Medical. She was being medical. Well, I was. Yeah, they call me Frogger because I had a way of kind of like from the video game Frog. I could move about quickly. Okay.

And I could like get on something real quick, do my business. And then move about. Get on something real quick. I think we are talking about sex though. I'm pretty sure. Yeah. I think so. Okay.

But there's other ways. There's other ways. Yeah. But so back to that reading, people didn't enjoy it. I shouldn't have done it at noon at a park. Okay. I should have said it was a R-rated event. And people said, this is terrible.

You should destroy. stuff. I'm just hearing, which park? Which park did you do it at? Down by Jimmy Carter Avenue at the corner of RFK and Hoover. Oh, well, that's the, I mean, we usually just call that herpes park. That's the problem. Yes.

I think that was your problem. Mostly because of RFK. Right. Yeah. Shoot. See, I know. I should have had a, I should have asked you, Joan, come and read for it. Oh, I would have been so flattered.

Yeah. I play a slutty little elf. Yeah, that'd be great. Did you have, you had a cast, like, assembled to read this? Yeah, I had three people. Oh, three people. But they were reading a lot of parts, I imagine. Oh, okay.

There were 70 parts. Oh, 70. Now, that's a lot. How many pages was this script? 400. Oh, no. That's very a lot. Or like a novel.

That's more like a novel. Well, hey, you know, I figured it could be in different parts. You know, 12 days of Christmas kind of thing. Oh, sure. Put it out. We'd still have a lot left over. It would be. Probably.

Even if it was 12 parts, I think you'd still be... Really? Yeah. Well, I don't know how long a script is. Like, how long is a play? Okay, so... Right. So, and then, you know, my husband, Doug, he's written a pilot, and we read it for one of our, for our listeners, actually.

And I think usually if you want... Now, I mean, his is a half-hour procedure, which is rare. But I think he kept it to about 27, right? What about? Came in about 25, 26? I think it was more like 12. Oh, it was like 30... Oh, it might have been quicker than that.

But here's the... There were a lot of... blank pages. This explains a lot though in terms of how many documents she does have because if everything she wrote is at least exceeding 400 pages, then you must have, is it, I don't want to be insensitive asking this question, is it like a hoarder

situation in your studio? Because if you're only in a studio apartment, are we talking like, reams of paper and like almost like a... Oh, no, no, no. I have four public storage units. Wow! Now I do... Four. I have four. But see, I move them around. After about

six months, you stopped getting a deal on. them. So you've got to move them. That is true. They do start hiking up those price. Yes, they do. Starts at 1.13 and then before you know it, it's at 270. That makes me so angry. What do you think they started as, like if a storage space first opens, is it a dollar? I've seen that before. Yes, I have fallen for that. Absolutely. Before you know it, you have a second mortgage. That's right. Then they got all your stuff that you don't want to get rid of. That's right. And here's a thing. I don't

want to pay for a shredder. So I'm Okay, let me ask you this, because I'm glad you brought the shredder up. But I also want to say, in light of the four storage units, have you thought about taking that money and moving to a bigger place to live? That's a good idea, burnt. I don't trust myself with a lot of space. Or bigger storage unit. Sure, just one big one. Sure.

Call the house. That could, that would be good. That would be good. I think a small space keeps my brain intact, you know, like, Like, like, I know where everything is, okay? Okay. And I don't have to decorate. Joan, I'm terrible at decorating.

Burnt, I'm terrible at decorating. I believe you. She was only addressing me for a while. I'm glad to hear she addressed you too. No, no. She's a, I feel like it has a lot of weight now that she's individually telling us that she's terrible at decorating. I'm really bad at it.

Okay, I believe you. Here's another thing I want to bring up. Yeah. I have to tell you, and now this might be my experience, I have never seen a shredding event that was anything but free. Never ever seen one that you get charged. Let's put a pin in that one. Let me ask you this.

First. Why do you not want to buy a shredder? Okay, yeah, let's go back to that. Because I don't trust that the shredder is going to get the paper small enough that somebody couldn't get in the trash, put it back together and steal the ideas. But I mean... Here's the thing. I freely give out my social security number.

Now, see... Why are you doing that? I can't have it backwards. You're fine with it. You're worrying about the wrong content. No, see, because you can already find it. So, you know, they say sign your name right here, go to a coffee shop. Sign your name right there.

I sign my social. But why? But why? Why not? They're not even asking for it. You're just adding it. She's adding it. That's right.

That's right. Valets, I give my bank account information. Why? Just because you already can find it. But not everybody. But if you can find it, you're not going to hunt for it. Sharan, if you can find it, you're not going to hunt for it? No, it's too easy.

You're like, I'm not going to, you want to go after. Haven't you ever been in love with someone and you had to chase? Well, as a matter of fact, yes. Actually, wow, this is crazy that you're saying this, because he's going through something like this exactly with his girlfriend. My girlfriend is hiding from me somewhere in Dignity Falls and is leaving me clues to find her, and I have not yet found her. She's got you on a scavenger hunt?

Sort of, yeah, for one very precious item. Oh, which is her heart. or her Downstown, downtown. Downstown. Downstown. No. Her downstown area? I mean, that's part of her.

Yeah, well. Okay. So, I'm uncomfortable with this. So we're talking about, then, well, let's just move back to the shredder. You don't feel a shredder gets the paper shredded small enough. Not one I could buy. You know what? You haven't seen these.

I mean, there's shredders that, there's like a diamond cut shredder where it literally makes confetti pretty much. Does it? Yes. Well, I don't know where to get my hands on anything diamond- Staple-related. No. No.

What was Staples? What was their log line? Easy does it or that button. Easy button. That was easy. Nothing's easy. Nothing's easy about getting to a staples because, you know, I don't have a car. Oh, you don't have a car?

Nope. I walk. You walk everywhere. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Hang on.

There's like a lot of thoughts in my head. Okay. One of them is this happens a lot, burnt. I know sometimes I ask us a lot of our guests, but generally if there's some sort of hang up with something, I don't want to say obsession with something, but there's a fixation on something that someone's convinced up. It's because something happened. There was a definitive moment. Correct.

It comes from trauma. And I'm not looking to pull you into that right now. But why do you think you're so paranoid about people digging in the trash to get your information? Did something happen like this to a family member or to you at some point in life? We know we're asking this at the risk of re-traumatizing you. I understand. that. I don't want to make you revisit a traumatic event.

No, that's all right. Traumatics are, uh, it's all right, you know, um, when I was young, I did, here we go. I, I, I wrote a story and a couple of the girls in school stole the story and presented it as their own. Name these girls. Name and shame. God.

Wendy McClintock and Jessica. the guffs. Of course. And I haven't forgotten about them. Clearly. Especially guffs. Their names are just on the edge of your brain. Give me a break.

So, Joan, I mean, listen, you're an actress you can see within people's soul. Is that true? I'm not going to deny it. I have felt that way many times. That's spooky. Well, I mean, but as a pharmacist, you have to also suss out people. I guess I see in people's souls. You do, based on their prescription.

Like if I like how they present them right if I say okay I need I need Lexibro I need Athletes foot medication and I need a healthy dose of flones yeah you've been problems there you go what would you say my sign is astrological Capricorn done see done I mean really true I'm not even a big on astrology I just no he's not it's just I've learned it over the course of right yeah just be he's been forced to that's right because you have to look inside people's soul. So, okay, so these bitches, excuse my life. Thank you.

Thank you. Joan. Wow. Joan, you don't normally swear? I just, I don't. I get in trouble with my husband. I can't ever do it. You're allowed to swear all the time, I guess, and so is burned, but not me.

But this happened, they did you, I suppose so. Yeah. Do you guys have it? That's what it is. Well, there it is. Great. Okay. All right.

It's not a requirement. They sort of, what did they do in terms of, like, actually get it out there and claim it was their own house? What did that look like when they were, you know, did they, like, publish the story or did they read in front of a class? Yeah, yeah, during the Friday Bazaar. Okay. They put it up. Tell us not the Friday Bazaar. Friday Bazaar at the end of the school year in eighth grade, they have what's called the bazaar.

So everybody goes about during the time people dressed up as gypsies. That's probably a little, we don't do that anymore. Pirates, that's probably still okay. And then there was a booth where, what is that, we throw a ball, the water. Oh, the dunking booth. Yeah. Duck tape. Dunk tape.

Dunk tape. Dunk tank. Yeah, no, dunk tape. And then there was a little area where they did kind of like medieval times and plays and things like that. Oh, that was a little area where they did. Yeah, they did. Yeah. This is tiny medieval times.

Yeah, like just a tiny. Oh, you just gave Doug a great idea. I can hear the years working. Doug, do you like my house? Tiny medieval times. Do you guys have theme rooms? We sure do, Sharon. We have over 200 rooms.

that have themes. And he just keeps growing them every single week. The house is much bigger than it appears from the outside. Really? You wouldn't even understand how far down underground it goes. And the front of the house is a facade, of course. Of course. Do you guys have a Florida room even though you're not in Florida?

Oh, that's what? I don't think we do what, like swamp lands. No specific question. You've never been in a Florida room? What is a Florida room? Florida room is a room. It's usually a porch of some sort that's got screey. around it because of the skaters.

But they call it the Florida room. Like a closed porch? Yeah, but it's street in porch. But then sometimes you're not in Florida, but it's like a Florida room. You really have never heard that. If you're from Florida, then you call it a Florida room. But if you're not from Florida, you probably call it something else. Yeah.

I've never been. No, no, never been. I'm afraid of that place. But I would love to be in a Florida room. Okay. Yeah, I don't venture out much outside of my studio. But yeah. So, um.

Okay. So at the bazaar. We're back at the bazaar, and what happened? They did, they performed this thing at the bazaar. Sorry, what was it? A short story? Wendy and Jessica got up there. Jessica, Guffs.

The Clintock got up there and they did a story called the ugly shoes. Now, they were based on the fact that I had gotten tree torns, okay? That was a brand that was popular during the time. Okay. And I had gotten high top tree torns. Now, I thought they were cool. Thank you, Burnt. Big mistake.

My mom was at the time She was not around She was swinging for the tree torns And you know It was something my grandma got me tree torns I showed up to school Anyway I wrote a little creative writing story They took the story

They reenacted it as a play They yeah and they made fun of my shoes It's like sort of that thing in euphoria Where they like do a whole play And that somehow has like a budget of like $30,000 And it's remained underwraps Until the people are seeing it Everyone's on board.

Crug, actors, everything. There you go. Now that is traumatizing, for sure. So I... Did you try to stand up for yourself? Did you call them out on it? No, no, no. No, no, I just internalized it.

And Sharon, I have to ask, did everyone know that the story was about you? Well, I was the only one with tree torns. Okay. And I had extremely flat feet, and they did a whole little... They did a song called Flat Feet, Flat Feet, Flat Feet, Flat Feet, Flat Feet. flat feet yeah is the yeah part of it

is part of the song yeah yeah yeah yeah thank you there weren't a lot of lyrics it's catchy but that's because Doug thank you was catchy because there weren't a lot of lyrics but now okay now I have to ask this did you write the song was that part of the because she said thank you when I said it was a good song No, it was not an actual song Those girls had turned it into a song But that's what you can't trust

People will take your source material And they'll turn it into something Yeah, okay Based on that one incident The words flat feet Yeah, and they turn it into a song Yeah, and I just think you can't trust That people won't steal your ideas

I understand look at that's a formative moment It's a formative year in life You know, that is I understand that Thank you Sure At the same time I feel like May I ask how old a woman you

I know Fair enough, I get it I get it Sharon I'm between 30 and 80 So all we have to go on is that At this time in her life wearing high top tree torts It was a terrible idea

So if anyone can do the detective work on that one We can figure it out Also asking someone from Digny Falls their age That's a classic Dany Falls response You know between 28 because as is of course of the census It's like guessing the actual like a population of our town Do we're very cagey Did you hide from the census like everybody else did when they last did it?

Yeah. Yeah, I don't want to tell people. I mean, they can assume one person lives in the studio, but what? Well, maybe not. Yeah. Maybe not. Maybe not. It's very intrusive.

I do, I do, I don't want to not cooperate with the census fully, but when they ask me, I do say, I'm happy with whatever you wish to write down based on your assessment of me. Oh, wow. I'm not going to answer any questions. You tell, whatever you write down, what you think. I am or how old I am or what I do for a living, go ahead. I sign off on that. Wow. Yeah.

Aren't you curious about what they said? No. I don't care what people think of me. Burn, I really admire that about you. I wish I had that. I truly don't care. I think it's clear. Yeah, if I were to die tomorrow and my death went unmorned, fine.

Burns! You always take it too far. Do you have any tattoos? Do you have a motto in life? None that I know of. Oh, boy. Oh, yeah, that can happen. You can...

It is possible that I have tattoos that I have not seen. So it would be... You have been unconscious in a lot of places. You know, when they've tattooed you have the hospital when you went. Do you have a full-length mirror in your house? No.

And so, no. And whenever you... My parents didn't believe in them. Oh, right. They said you can look down. Why do you need to see it in a mirror? You can look it down. Yes.

They said, of course, you can't see your own face. You need a face mirror. Right. But to see how your legs look, Just look down. Okay. So you may have something on your back that you don't know of because you don't... Maybe.

When you go... Sometimes my girlfriend, when we're in bed together, post-coitus. Here he goes again. She might look at a part of my body that I can't see and she'll have like a little giggle. And I say, what's that? She goes nothing. So my goodness... You don't want to ask.

Are you giggling at a... You need to follow up on that with her. No, I kind of enjoy the mystery of it. When you find her, you need to ask her. She needs to take a picture of that. need to see that. Whatever, I could do it myself. I could look at your back right now if I want to. But I'm not going to. A full what?

What if it's just a full eagle on your back? I might have that covering the entire back. I might have that dumb Ben Affleck tattoo for all I know. Wait, I thought that you got a tattoo after this lava landing that you had and it was in the constellation of Pikachu. I remember this very clearly. Joan, if you say so. Maybe you got it removed and you didn't tell me. Anyways, I don't want to get away from Sharon here.

I really don't. I want to get closer and I want to get more in depth. Let's get back to the question that you were asking. About her age. No, no, not that. That seemed like a no-go.

We're not getting any. We had no traction there. But you had asked before I wanted to dial in on the shredder issue. Yeah. But you were about to ask about these free shredding events. Yeah.

Now, maybe this is a thing that I'm unaware of. What is a shredding event? Well, it's where they get out of, People bring their shredders and people bring their old docks and they just allow you to use it. Like a classic car convention. Generally, I have not experienced by people bringing shredders. There's generally one gigantic, gigantic industrial shredder.

Everybody goes to? Yes, you bring like it'll happen in a parking lot. Listen, I had a cousin who used to do this. He was in charge of recycling at his high school, okay? And he would have people have a, he would have people, you know, with events. And, you know, like, the local realtors, I would come as a local realtor and have a table, you know, and pass out my writing pads like we always do.

Oh, no. Did you see people walk over to the shredder and put them in there? Oh, no. That would have heard my feelings, too. No, my writing pads were fantastic. I always got them professionally done. I have two of them. I hate a homemade writing pad.

You bring your documents. That's what you bring. I've not experienced everyone also bringing a shredder. Because why would you need to do that if you had your own shredder to stay at home and shred your own thing? I guess it's to offer your shredder to other people who don't have a shredder. Yes. I'm just saying he had access to a very huge industrial shredder.

So everything just got shredded right there. My cousin. Oh, your cousin. Okay. I forgot. Yeah, you could have. He had access to it. He didn't own it, but he had access to it.

Correct. You can get it donated. You know, it's like a write-off. Do you, do you, are you, do you know tax information? Do I know tax information? I don't know how to answer that question. Okay. No, just because I'm looking for a no.

Is this a person we're talking about? I just, I'm backlogged on my taxes for the past 20 years. So that's a side. Meaning, meaning unpaid. I mean, she's given out her social security number everywhere. Meaning unpaid. Yeah, yeah, unpaid. Wait a minute.

Your social security is connected to your taxes. Oh, shit. Okay. All right. Well, that's another post. I'm going to have to put that post up. But no, I'm looking for a free shredding event. Sorry, what post are you going to put up?

someone who could explain to me the correlation between tax ID number and social and how that connects with each other. Well, the Social Security number is how the government identifies you. That's right. And then, yes, you have the additional tax ID number, but generally one of them is going to get you to, is going to get them to you. Yes. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Anyways. All right. We should look into it because it sounds like it might be in some legal trouble. Oof. Yeah, I may need to. Didn't you guys have a lawyer on here, Dark, Duke?

he was a dentist lawyer you did that i mean i will take your word for it yeah a nice older fellow yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah he was in it with a red truck guy and and some dog poop yeah okay but um anyway yeah uh yeah well i was hoping to get a free event here's a thing like i just think that somebody maybe it's in a park where there could be electricity and i just imagine there's a big circle like this kitchen island and you could just like move and shred things at different locations and maybe there's some free beverages, and I'm looking for that event. It's like community building. You get rid of documents, and you feel safe that your documents are completely gotten rid of. Right. How much do these shredding events usually cost? Well, they're free.

This is, there's a free event. I'm looking for a free event. That's what I said. I said they're all free. I've never been to one where you were charged money. Thank you. Yes. Sharon, you're the one that is specifying free.

Yeah. So what I'm asking is not ridiculous. Okay. It is not insane. It is not absurd. Okay. We'd advocate for yourself, Bernd. Good job.

Thank you, Joan. Okay. And here's the other thing I want to know. A free shredding event implies the existence of a paid shredding event. There's no. All right. Burns, you're getting heated. I got it.

I'm sorry. Sit back down, please. I got to go walk around the house. Okay, that's good. Even just walk around the island. If you walk around the house, he'll not be back until sundown. Okay. So what I want to know is.

is in this entire year, did anyone respond or comment on any information about an event? 11 likes? Did they tell you how much a call? Oh, we don't even, we can hear you. We don't, you have the microphone. Oh, this is bad. Yeah, well, I got 11 likes. I got one comment that said, when you find it, let me know.

That was from Bart Chardle. Bart Chardle. Yeah, Bart Chardle. Oh, that brought him back. The deputy mayor? Yes. You know Bart Chardell? I mean, I know of him, of course.

He's pretty notorious. Yeah. Yeah. God. Well, he said... And that's kind of his catchphrase when you find out, tell me. That's right.

That's what he says at all press conferences. He does. Whenever they ask him a question, he says, what do you find out? Tell me. It's a platform he ran on. And he got elected.

That's right. You know, he's saying, I'll take action. He really does. He really does. He really does. He tries to just be like a real friendly guy. And you know,

sure, baby. It's better than see something, say something. Because it shows you who to say something to. That's right. I guess that's true. Yeah.

You tell him. Bart Shardle. What is better than see something? If you see something, say something? Well, if you know, if you find out, tell me. If you find out, tell me. Isn't that what they say in England? I'm not crazy for saying that.

No, you're not. Hug. Hang on, we have an English question. Oh, yes. But Bert knows a lot about London. Okay. Don't they say say, say something, see something in England? Only in England.

That's what they say. No, they don't say something. Say something. How would that work? Oh, Robert, did you say something? I see something, say something. You like Downton Abbey. We like to talk like Elizabeth McGover from Downabby from time to time.

I don't trust TV. Here's what they say. You don't trust TV. But wait a minute. You love sound and you've written all sorts of stories and you like being around a TV set, I thought. Yep. Very quickly. What they say in England in London is see it, say it, sorted. Oh, really?

Yes. And not sort it. And they do say mind the gap. I thought they meant see it. say it, sort it. Like, sort it out. No, they will, they are saying, consider it sorted. Oh, I do love that when people say that. It's all sorted. It's all sorted. Like it's done.

It's completed. Yeah, I took care of it. Which is it. I think that's a huge assumption. Yeah. How do you know? If you see something suspicious, tell us and consider it taken care of. Oh, I don't like that. I will, I'll never go to England. I think it's to prevent vigilantism. Now, okay, you don't trust television. Let's get back to the matter at hand. No, I don't trust television. No.

Okay, how come? No, I just don't trust it. You don't know what they're saying and what they're doing is true or not. You don't know what. And you're applying to downtown abbey. But often it isn't true. I think we all are quite aware

when something is a story that we're being told, right? So I don't think there's any reason to not trust it. It's for entertainment. Boy, you know, if her trust issues are just extending all the way back to those girls, but now it's going to everything, right? now she can't even trust television now she can't even trust you know this is this is hard do you have a hard time with relationships well i'm not in one currently but i am available okay all right and let that be known everybody's listening sharon sarin assa is available

okay i am available um do you ever meet people at these shredding events well i haven't been to one i was going to say she hasn't been to one there hasn't been one she needs to know everything about them but she hasn't been to one okay so you never found on, even last year, you never found one? No, that's why five days ago I had to say, hey, anybody got a visual on one. So your ideas, your notebooks have been piling up. There's so many.

I have so many ideas to, I mean, I got kids. What do you got cooking up right now? Kid show. Kid show. Okay, all right. Button parade and the whistleblower. Button parade in the whistleblower. Yep.

Yep, yep. There's, you know, the problems like in kid town, but just problems in kids. And there's a whistleblower that's like, like calling out the problems in the kid town? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you give us an example of an episode? But not a literal whistleblower like you would think would happen in a kid show.

See? Ah, clever. Of course, of course. Somebody's clever. Okay. Somebody's got writing, writing talents. Yeah, they're not an actual, like they don't blow recorders or whistles. They're a whistleblower on a kid issue in Kid Town.

And it's called Kid Town. What are some of the kid issues that are plaguing Kid Town? Choice, dinner choices. Choice dinner choices. enough. Okay. I mean, you have your obvious things, clicks and things like that, but, you know, um, lead characters happen to be Jessica Grubbs and Wendy McClintock. Oh. Okay. And so yeah, yeah, yeah. They're, um, you disguise the one name, but not the other guy. Yeah, she did. She did grubs, but she, McClintock is right out there. Yeah, she needs to, she finally needs to get her.

She's the worst, she's worse than guffs. Yeah. Um, she dies in it. So, oh my goodness. It's a kid show. Yeah, that's all right. Kids need to deal with real issues, right? True. Well, to a certain extent, sure. Are there any adults in kid town? Nope, no adults.

But there are kids that play adults, which is the hook. Oh, no, that's not. So, kid actors will play adults. Like a Bugsy Malone's situation. Yeah, there's a couple characters that are adults. Remember that, Jody Foster? I don't know. So strange.

Who asked for that? I don't know. Nobody, apparently. And does it seem like they were still in oversized clothing? I don't think I ever saw that. I think that was just the style. Okay. You never saw Bugs E. Malone where children play gangsters?

Yep. No. And they shoot each other with cream pie machine guns? I've never seen that. I saw... You might like it. Is that like Dick Tracy with Madonna? It's not unlike it.

Okay. It is an unlike it. Okay. There's another one. And again, we want to clarify, we are not a movie podcast, but we've already covered easily seven movies at this point. Yeah, young Jody Foster and Scott BIO. Oh. That's how you say it, Bert.

See, in Italiano, C. Oh, I don't think so. I understand that you grew up in medium Sicily here in town. But bio? Is that how it's said? Bio. Okay. Listen, this is a lively conversation, but I feel like Sharon very effectively gets us off this subject a lot of like evading this whole thing about why she won't own a paper shredder and why we just can't get her over this, this, this hump of like this developmental issue.

It's all about trust. And paranoia. Deep paranoia. Yes. So I just, you know what I think you should do? Burned. This is where we always come to a forward. work in the road in terms of how we want to handle our guest.

You want to dismiss them? I'm not dismissing anyone. I am saying I want her to recognize that she has deep mental issues. We want the same thing, Bert. What I want you do is to start small. Do you think that you could just start, here's another question. How about burning the documents?

Great question, Joe. No one can go into a dumpster and put that stuff together. You can't do that. What if you just take it to an incinerator? Well, if there's a free one around and maybe a free event, Well, you can make a bonfire, you know, in any sort of down by the lake where there's no water anymore, but they still have those bonfire pits. Yeah, it's true. You could do that.

Yeah, but I feel like that's dangerous because, like, the little piece of paper could fly off. Someone could catch that. You are sharing. You are sharing. But that's all? I don't know what they'd have to go on from that. Interior button factory. I mean, it's not bad for an impression character.

Is that word of the button parade? Yes. Yes. And, I mean, opening dialogue, Marty says, everybody, gather around. Come on. You tell me, you can't, you can't get something off of that. Is he the chief? Is he the factory chief, Marty? Yeah, yeah. He's the foreman. He's the foreman. He's 12. Yep. Yeah. Playing. No, no, he's playing. No, no, he's 12. No, no, he's 12 playing 12. 12. That's right at the beginning, you got to, you can't confuse your audience. Got it. You got to be straight to it. So, so right away, you know. just keep it. So then they're grounded in the world where there are no adults,

but there are problems in Kid Town, such as dinner choices, that a whistleblower is bringing to life. Dinner choices, not enough. That's right. That's right. And then it all comes to head and there's a villain and all that sort of stuff. But see, look at what's happening. You guys, I'm giving my ideas right now on your podcast.

That's true, but I mean, people are hearing them in your voice. So I think that you would have a case to say that was my idea. Yeah, you would have this podcast to prove that it was your first this is why it's a good thing listen i guess maybe the tiny step you've taken today is to come on this podcast thank you and thank you for trusting us yeah you know with it right that's kind of a big step it's kind of a big step yeah yeah yeah and so but do you trust us by the way slightly enough enough no i i mean look you guys are fancy okay you're so talented joan oh give me a break burnt you're really handsome even though i know you're taken oh come on now no you are oh

One to 10, 17. See what she did there. I don't. Does that make you uncomfortable? I don't know where it does make me uncomfortable. That's okay. That's all right. I'm extremely uncomfortable.

That's okay. I'm not going to do anything. Okay, I'm in a onesie. I mean, a zip-up. What do they call it? Oh, I forgot a frog suit. I forgot about a jump suit. I was wondering where are you with that.

You were in a just, a onesie jumpsuit. You know, when I was a jump suit, it's not a onesy. That would sound like I'm an infant and not an adult outfit. When I was in college, they called me pitfall Harry. How come? Because I tried to swing once and I fell. Like in gym class or something? We're like a...

No, open relationship. Oh, burned. Yeah. And you fell. I fell down. During the swinging? That turned me off of the lifestyle. Oh, okay.

Well, sure, it would anybody. Right. Again, we got off topic. I have a question. Okay, baby. You go ahead. First suggestion, really. Okay.

If you don't want to burn them while you put them up on the wall for decoration, which you said you were bad at. Oh, that's nice. That's kind of nice. Maybe do a little decapage. Yeah. No clue what that is. I knew you wouldn't, babe.

You know what? Why did you say it? Make your best guess. Oh, he's in the anger phase of the Benadryl. You guys all took Benadryl? We did. Did you want some? Benadryl makes me truly crazy.

Like, it hipes me up to a, you know, that happens. It doesn't bring me down in a sleepy. Absolutely. But it really hipes me. I can't imagine you more. to be perfectly honest. No, I get, I get at it. Babe, I just want you to tell me

what you think decapage is. Just give it a stab. Oh, this is a great new segment. Deco page? Yes. Yes, sound to know. Do you want the origin? Use it in a sentence.

Well, we really want Sharon to use her scripts to make a decapage to decorate her house. Maybe an Australian thing. Where do you get that? A decoration piece. I've never been to an island, but even I know what Dacupajas is. But you have been to an island. Well, Macanon.

Macon, not many. It's just Macanon. I've never been outside of the U.S.A. Wait, so your answer to Dekapagos is it's something Australian. Yeah. Okay. Okay, that's a big negatory, good buddy. Yeah, that's not right.

It's a decoration. It's, correct me if I'm wrong. I think you mean, mate. It's a decoration. B lingo for, I don't know why that popped to my name. It's a negatory, good buddy. Take opage, and correct me if I'm wrong. It is you take, you might take scraps of things.

You might like a newspaper clipping or an old photograph. Correct. And you sort of lacquer it on a surface. That's a collage. That's not a, first of all, it's collage. I don't know what language you're talking about. It's a papier-m-m-che. That's a collage.

Y'all talking about a collage? No big daddy. In a way, it's a collage, but it's how you make the collage. right and so sometimes you'll dip it in like a glue yeah it's not necessarily on a surface collage could be on a piece of paper but you can take a badge an entire wall or an entire piece of furniture like a glass coffee table I'm not going to get this but why don't you just do that okay yeah why did you do that Sharon well because then if I ever have a gentleman okay frog on frogging he could glance and look it's like my all of my ideas are still

Okay, okay. You have a severe problem. You do. And you can't be so mistrustful of everyone. That's no way to live your life. You're not up. Here's my, and here's the thing. I do think we got to wrap it up soon because we,

because first of all, I need to get, I'm pretty sure I need to take Doug with the urgent care. So, because I don't think about the Ben of Joel's working. Yeah, you're not the only one who's fucked up. All right. All right. Well, let's see, now how can we see he's allowed to swear I'm not? But let me just tell you this.

Yes. Sometimes telling the truth, telling the real. authentic truth, the thing you're most scared about is what sometimes is the way through. What I would do is, oh, Britsville got Franken's don't throat today. It's a local problem. It's just, I'm just

agreeing. Are you getting excited? No. It's agreement. It's agreement. It's excited. It's excitable agreement. Okay. All right. Okay. I want you. Here's my, here's my wish for you. Uh-oh. And now let me, if I follow this wish, one, is it like a genie? I'm going to get something out of it

Or are you saying you'll be my life coach, Joan, because I could really use one? No, oh, it's something in between, I think I want to say. How would you get that she would be a life coach for you? This is my wish for you. Because it feels like she's going to give something. I bet people hit me with his energy before and request some wild things of me. You do give off life coach energy. Thank you.

But I would say, if you say here's my wish for you, that implies a distance right there. Oh, no, no, no. That's saying. Okay, then I'm going to take away wish because we've already talked about wishes and we're cynical wishers anyways here in Dignany Falls, so we're not going to do that. Okay. Here's my challenge to you. See, now she's a coach.

Now I'm a life coach. Now I'm a life coach. Here's my challenge to you. I want you to go in and I want you to not look at your feet like burnt what have to. I want you to look in the mirror that I know you have in your apartment. I do. I want you to look yourself in the eye.

Why? Then one is begging to be day cabosh, I have to say. And listen, I don't trust how I look in my mind, so I got to make sure the caprice and you know what this is what I want you to write. I want you to look into that mirror and I want you to think about the actual truth that's making you not move. forward. What is stopping you? I want you to write about those women. I want you to tell the

truth. And you know what? Once you tell the truth, they say it sets you free. Uh-oh. I think somebody wants to be the lead in my slutty hallmark. Oh, no, not the slutty hallmark else? This is different from the crew. Oh, okay. Well, or and or

So I think what I said didn't land at all. No, of course not. No, no, no. I heard it. I heard of you. This person's not going to listen to you. I want me to. I want you to tell your truth. Sharon, I really do. I'm going to get naked in front of my mirror. Okay. That part wasn't involved. That's kind of what I heard. But whatever, whatever works for you.

Okay, I'm going to stand there like I did in the sorority pie-fi circle, all my fat. Okay. I'm going to stand and look right there. Surity pie-fi circle. Yeah, yeah, you've never been a sorority. I think it's best that we don't follow up. No, I've never been in a sorority, no.

They make you get naked and then a ring locks you. Yeah, they circle your fat, and then they make you take a quick shot of Tabasco and run. Oh, no, this feels too real. And I'm very uncomfortable about it. Yeah, but it happened. Oh, no. I don't want it to be real. it is in the past.

It isn't. let go. Because these two children that is determined the entire course of your life. That sounded like bigger trauma if you want to ask me. If we're talking about trauma. If we're talking about trauma, that's it. Somebody put circles on you. Yep. And then you have to do a shot of

Tabasco and run around the room. That's insane. Yep. And you have to chant the Greek letters and all that sort of stuff. But I got in, so it was fine. So it matters. I don't know. Oh, I sure hope I don't know. And you had to. You also then had to eat what was called a, it was like a sourcrow hot dog? No. You'd get three of them

and then run as well. When you say what was called a sourcrow hot dog, what does that mean? There's another name for it. It was called a P-O-P-O-Boy?

No, okay. No, really is. Was it a hot dog? Yeah, it's a hot dog. With sourcrow on it. It's a sourcrow and something else. But I just don't know if it's an offensive thing to say

P-O-O-O-B. That's a classic, it's like a classic dish, like a southern... That's poo-boy. You just spelled poo-boy. It's not poo-boy, babe. Why are you saying that?

No, it was. She said P.O. Okay. But you're right. I guess, Burnt, I'm having this realization that I have let go of that time in my life. None of that is trauma. But what is trauma. I'm sorry, what? Isn't that what you guys called it? Trauma. Trauma. Trauma. Truma. Truma. That's ridiculous pronunciation is trauma. Truma. She just did a commercial. Yeah. Maybe I can. Maybe I can take that first step of looking in the mirror. Yes, go with that. Naked or not. Naked or not. Okay. I say, and what do I do? I say, you can, Sharon, you can let it go.

And you actually just say your truth into the mirror. And then you're going to write it down. But then can I shred that piece of paper? No, you may not. No, you're going to start a substack. Are you going to publish it? Are you going to put it? Or you're going to put it on a flyer? You have to put these ideas out in the world. You have to put them out in the world. Don't be deterred by the guffs. Don't be deterred by the park where you got arrested or whatever happened. She never got arrested. She tried her reading at her. Peace Park and it didn't work. Maybe I should have been, yeah.

So you're going to, this is a, you're going to turn over a new leaf and you're going to start today because you shared a lot of your truth on this podcast. A lot of people heard it. I bet you a lot of people want to hear that story and they want to hear more. And so that is my, that's my hope. That's my challenge for you, okay? Okay. And as always we say, we wish you very well.

Oh, should, I should, I should wish again. I should wish again. Yeah. I should wish. I should wish. I wish you. I wish you the best of love. I know, I still feel like,

And where I want to do a follow-up, because it did take me 20 hours to walk here. Oh, yeah. But I want to follow up with you. 20 hours. That's too long. You need to get a car, or at least an electric scooter.

I know, I know. What was the follow-up? No, just how can I stay in touch with you to let you know how I'm doing it on my progress? Oh, you can just find me on Facebook. Yeah, just shoot me a DM. That should be fine. Okay.

That's the best. Okay. That's it. That's a best. John lives on Facebook. I really do. I really do. If I'm not at this island, I'm on Facebook.

All right. We're going to say goodbye to you now, Sharon. Okay. Thank you so much. But thank you so much for being here. No. We're rooting for you. Thank you so much.

Best of luck. If you have any leads on a shred. You have to get out of this. Doug, you can just stop recording. That's probably okay. More with the neighborhood listen. When the neighbor listen returns. Hi y'all, this is Mary Lou, and I'm giving away a wooden reindeer nutcracker.

And as you can see, I've left a few pictures that are very blurry or not helpful with strange angles that make this reindeer look like anything but a reindeer, especially from profile. From profile, I'd say it either looks like a bulldog or, I don't know, some sort of strange sitting bear, but definitely, definitely not reindeer. And it's scared my kids, so I'd just love to you come get it. I have no prize listed, so that just means I want you come get it right now. Thank you. And welcome back to The Neighborhood Listen. Well, boy, Sharon was a real, a real character.

She was a real mess I don't like her chances I don't like to I certainly don't like her chances of finding a free shredding event Just buy a shredding event I don't think she's gonna take

my challenge to heart I don't think she's gonna I don't think she's gonna change at all You don't think I don't know What I'm hope Here's what I'm hoping Sometimes I hope that there's just one

It just takes one listener Do you know what I mean That it's just one listener That hears someone And they're like That's also my thing You know what I mean? And then tries to contact one of our guests.

And then maybe that sparks something. Do you know what you're making me think is also, sometimes when we talk to someone on this show who is beyond help, which is often. It could help someone who's listening to this show. Yes. Who's also an idiot. Who needs to change their life dramatically because of their stupid choices.

Okay. I mean, like, of course, I'm not going to put it quite that way. But, yes, I like the idea that that, that beyond just kind of maybe brightening people's day with some silly talks about, you know, our lives and everything like that may be, yes, someone actually is like, oh, I'm not alone. Oh, my life is a disaster. Or that.

I'm also dumb. Okay. All right. Okay. Hey, if you're a dumb, dumb and we changed your life, we'd love to hear from you. Now, John, we have time for one more post. Yeah. Well, should we check in with Doug in the Tron room?

Yeah. Let's check in with Doug. Hey, babe, what's going on? Oh, no, we passed out from the Benadryl. Oh, babe, babe. Duck. Hey, babe, wait, wait. Oh.

Is he throwing it up? I think so. Who is this? What? Complete unknown. Speaking gibberish. Good Lord. Bob Dylan in there.

Yeah, but he is. Who is it? Hey. Is this the Benadry? I bet it's fun to talk that way if you're Bob Dylan. I bet he has a ball. Oh, my gosh. Hey, what's going on?

Oh, my gosh. Wait, so how is your... Is this the Benadryl? It must be the Benadry. All these lights? All these lights? No. What about all the lights?

You built a Tron room, Doug. Yeah. That's what you're building, babe. Remember Tron? Tron Ares, Jared Leto. Oh, yeah, that's right. The only movie that was released. and taken out of theaters within 24 hours?

You guys have not experienced anything until you've woken up from a Benadryl from a Benadryl sleep in a Tron room. Now I can't argue with that because I don't know anyone else that could say that. It does sound kind of intriguing. You're the only one. That's a restful sleep.

Sleeping in Tron. Yeah. Okay. Why was it called Tron? Because in the first movie he made a game, right? Did it stand for something? Was it an actor? Scantron.

Spruly Scantra. Yeah, it's a movie based on the SATs. Tron is like a... Just a futuristic sounding word. Yeah, yeah. I feel like we knew that word, though. Did we... What do you mean?

From something. The word Tron, when Tron came out, felt familiar. But isn't it a suffix of something else? I don't think it was a standalone word. Tron. Wait, wasn't that the name of Bruce Boxleitner? No, he was a person, wasn't he? No, Jeff Bridges got sucked into it.

Oh, Jeff Bridges got sucked into the game. I just can't stand that. I'm going to look it up. He came out with an album named Tron. Did he? Right? I, honestly think. I mean, if anybody did, I think it was in Neil Young. It was his most panned album.

Yes. Wow. See, Tron. Tron is Bruce Boxlightner, I swear. Okay, but you don't have to swear. I'm not allowed to. His album was named Trans. Oh, God.

That's quite different. Tron Bruce refers to Oh, hang, that's not right. He played the title character, Tron. Yes, Tron was him. But then wasn't the game also called Tron? Yes, but like that, remember they persona but they anthropomorphized a computer program.

So it's like Woody becoming, you know, Woody from Toy Story. Is that not a good example? My ears are so swollen. Your ears are swollen, how old are? Yeah, it's traveled up to my ears. What is going on? The Benadryl is affecting you, but you're still ballooning up in various places. Well, I think the Benadryl is helping push it up, push it out.

Hopefully now it goes away. I need to take you to the urgent care, I think. I'm worried about my- shit out. I'm worried about my ears after this. You're worried about your ears after this? Yeah, like all deflated, you know, Walter Mathau ears. Oh, so they'll get all stretched out.

Yeah, I see. Oh, yeah, when the lobes get really low. That just, that comes for us all, Doug. It sure does. I'm not ready. No, I don't think you have to worry about that for a while. All right, well, I am still going to try to take you to a urgent care right after this, I think. Yeah, give a shot.

Give it a try. We have to tip them and everything. All right. Oh, yeah, that's right. Well, that's if we go to. Yeah, that's true. That's true, unfortunately. It's terrible.

They're always with their hand out. We could go to the back of Justin's. No, let's not do that. Let's never go back to Justin's again. All right, I have one more post. Okay, great. It's sort of a curious post. This is from Sammy.

Sammy. And Sammy says, Hello, neighbors, hoping you having a great evening. We will be making nuns puffs for the holiday season. Or any special occasion. Sold by dozen. Make your order in advance with a free delivery at your front door DM for details. Has anyone heard of these?

And here they are. They look like honeycomb cereal. Do they not? Big, big, big. Big, big. What? They're not small. Big honeycomb cereal?

I'm going to send this picture to you, yeah. Whoa. Various sizes. And that's not just the better drill talking. Now, what in the world, why would the name come up that way? What is a nun's puff? They don't look puffy. You have some experience with the Catholic Church.

Can you have any insight into this? Well, I know that there was a confection that I remember hearing about, what was it called? the nun bun which was a black cinnamon bun and it wasn't burnt it wasn't you know okay like you love it

yeah well like I love you love my toast yeah it was it tasted like a cinnamon bun a little bit sulfuric but it would be just black as night with a bright white

frosting on top. Okay. And because it looked like a nun's habit. The nun bun. Ah, the nun bun. I thought that would refer to like their hair or something. You know, like a hair bun. I get what you're saying. But, you know, they all had short hair under there. I guess that's true. So then why the word bun?

Oh, just because it's an actual bun. It's actual cinnamon bun. Sorry. That's right. I'm sorry. You took Benadryl, too. We all did take Benadry. We all took shots of Benadryl. We haven't been clear about that. We took shots of Benadryl. Yes. But they were...

I'm going to go pass out and wake up in there. It sounds fun. They were... Nun buns were delicious. But this sulfuric aftertaste to them did make them feel... I don't know. How else to say this, Satanic. Oh, dear.

Yeah. Well, that had the opposite effect. Yeah, like they were somehow a forbidden thing. And only nuns could make them. Oh. Only nuns knew the recipe. Do you think... Why would they make something that was so unpleasant to eat?

I think because they're angry. Did they want people to think, ooh, it's a treat? But then all of a sudden they felt close to Satan and they were like, oh, that's why I can't eat eight treats. I think they wanted to let people know my life is hell. This is a taste of my life. Oh, dear. Now, these puffs, they look kind of delightful. They do.

If I had to guess, I would just say that maybe it's supposed to be like the stained glass window of a church, maybe. Maybe. Is that what it's supposed to be? What's they call it again? Nun's puff. One word? No, two. N-U-N-A-Postrophias.

So it really is, it's giving ownership of the nun. So it's not nunts. It is not nunts. It's not a nuns puff. They're not very puffy. No, they're not. They're not very puffy. They look stiff.

They look stale. Yes, they do. They look stiff and stale like a nun. That's what. Maybe these things, maybe this is. Oh, I know what it is. It's just like the cinnamon bun. But instead, this looks like the lightest, like meringue in the world, right?

like it's going to be so distanced, and you bite into it, cracks your teeth. I bet you anything. These nuns. These nuns. Makes you regret eating it. Yes. That's our lesson. Like the nuns regret becoming nuns.

I'm staying away from any non-related treat from now on. After this anecdote and this post, I think that's the takeaway. Absolutely. Buyer beware. Caviot emptor. Baking and religion don't mix. Do you think there's any nuns who are like... There's a lot of baking, of course, the religion.

I'm aware of that. Don't come at me. Well, the Eucharist. Do you think there's any... Not a lot of leavening. Not a lot of leavening. Not a lot of leavening. It wasn't that an Elvis song?

Wasn't that an Elvis song? Yeah, too much conversation. Not a lot of leavening. All right. Well, that does it for this episode of the neighborhood listening. If you'd like to hear ad-free episodes and get access to our bonus episodes, They're all very fun.

You can go to CBBWorld.com and sign up for the Maximus tier, and you will get that extra special content. And I think that's it. That's it. Until next week, goodbye. And bye. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed.

The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins. And me, Nicole Parker. And me, Brett Morris. This episode's guest was played by Annie Sertick. The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang, World. Go to CBBWorld.com to unlock the entire history of the show, add free, as well as brand new full-length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maximus subscribers. Your support keeps the show going.