The Neighborhood Listen - Funny Paws And A Delightful Smile with Kylie Brakeman

Episode Date: April 1, 2025

Season 8 begins! Burnt and Joan catch us up on the latest goings-on in their lives, while Doug immerses himself in the past. Later, Alan (Kylie Brakeman) from Dignity Falls stops by to panic about her cat.Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for the Maximus plan to unlock this episode and ALL seasons of The Neighborhood Listen ad-free, as well as full length exclusive BONUS ROOM episodes adventuring deeper into Dignity Falls!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website. Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad-free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of The Bonus Room, go to CBBWorld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership.

And now, please enjoy this episode of... The Neighborhood Listen! Knock, knock. Who's there? Your neighbor. Good! And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen! Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor! Good! In Dignity Falls, you're never alone You've got the Neighbor Half App and us!

Bert! And Joan! From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell We'll cover it all And meet new neighbors as well We'll chat about any posts you're missing So just tune in to the Neighborhood Listen. Well, well, well, welcome

Oh! to season eight of the Neighborhood Listen. I am in it already. I loved that new welcome. Can I tell you Joan, that just occurred to me to say. Did it? It's like I saw the glint in your eye and I saw you had a that just occurred to me to say. Did it? It's like I saw the glint in your eye and I saw you had a moment of inspiration.

And here's what happened. Okay. I knew I had to welcome the listener. Absolutely. But I also was thinking, well, well, well, here we are again. It was two meanings in one. It was two, it did two things at once.

How many wells did you do? Well, well, well, three? Well, well, well, welcome. Well, well, well, welcome. That's perfect. That's the right amount. Too few would have been too few. Too many would have been too many.

Well, well, welcome. Well, well, well, welcome. Well, well, welcome. No, don't second guess it. I'm saying it was the perfect amount. Well, well, well, welcome. And then it becomes not well. Now it's well, well, well, well, well.

And that's something different. What is that? What would you, if you had to name it? A, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, to name it? A, a, a, a Borat sound. Yes. Yeah. You passed my test. A Borat sound room up. Oh, I didn't know there was a test this season.

I knew, I knew, I knew you'd get there. I knew it was a Borat sound. Anyways, whoa, whoa, whoa. Welcome to season eight. And you know what? Last, last time we had a name that just appeared organically for our season seven, which was Steven. That's right. And I've been thinking a lot about what season eight is.

And you know what's weird? Do you know what popped in my head? What? Mic. Isn't that weird? Season mic. Season mic. The neighbor listen.

I don't think now that you say it, it sounds wrong. What if I said it in a happier tone? Well, or maybe. Season mic. No, I realize now that it's also it's confusing because you're talking into a mic. So now I don't know. I know I don't know it's also it's confusing because you're talking into a mic. So now I don't know. I know I don't know what's happening.

Do you think the, this is a great question, Joan. Do you think when the listener listens to our podcast, they picture us talking to microphones? That is such a good question. I don't know if they imagine us sitting around my kitchen table with my high back chairs. I don't know. Because we have set the scene for them.

We have. Many times. And I think we filled it out, you know, as we go along. I think we've included more detail as to where we are. I think we have set the scene for them. We have. Many times. And I think we filled it out, you know, as we go along. I think we've included more detail as to where we are. I think we have. Before we get too carried away. Yeah, let's not get ahead of ourselves. Let us introduce ourselves to the returning listeners

and to first time listeners. Oh, welcome. If we were waiting to see if we were gonna stick around. My name is, this is the Neighborhood Listen Podcast. That's right. My name is, this is the Neighborhood Listen podcast. My name is Burnt Me a Payday. I am a pharmacist. Don't take over.

Don't take over. Okay. He's a pharmacist at the Dignities Fallsmasy. Dignity Fallsmasy. And if you have just listened. I can't believe I asked you to take over. It's okay. I got you. This is what this is. You know're, you know what? We're so, we share

such a same brain now. We share such a, that's absolutely true. We share such a same. I know what you're going to say, except for that. Well, well, well, welcome. You really had me on the edge of my seat. That was the very first thing. How could you have predicted? I couldn't have known. And I am Joan pedestrian and I'm a top realtor. Okay. Thank you for that. The top realtor here at digby falls, but I'm also a localtor. The top realtor. Okay, thank you for that. The top realtor here at Dignity Falls, but I'm also a local actress. That's correct.

Because we decided amateur felt a little... But I think every time you say that, you clarify, you say why we say local, and I think it reinforce, it brings back the idea. I know, I guess I'm doing it because you said there might be first time listeners, and I just wanted to catch them up. That's all I wanted to do.

Well, you can say you're a local actress in the community theater here in our neighborhood of Dignity Falls. Yes, well see now you're taking back over from me. See you're back, you're back, you got it. Take it back, Bert. We're back, baby. Take it back, baby, take it back.

Take it back, do do do do. Remember? Nope. Rocky. Okay. When they're standing around the trash can full of fire. I wonder how long it would take for us to mention a movie because as we've noticed over the years, our show sometimes delves into a movie podcast.

I don't want to get off on a tangent just yet. To new listeners, sometimes it's going to sound like this is a movie podcast. It absolutely is not. It's absolutely not. We just happen to talk about movies sometimes. We do. It just comes up in great detail. Yep.

Yep. And not new movies either. No, yep. And not in new movies either. No, never. Well, except for maybe The Substance. Because that has come up. What about The Substance? Well, because I've decided to make a musical of it. You know, because that was the first thing that I thought. Yes, yes, yes.

I mean, I don't want to make it about me first of all. I really want to introduce my husband, Doug, who is recording in a different room every. Hello, hello, hello, hello, hi. Oh, you're doing Elvis. Well, you know what that put me in mind of just like all the Chuck E. Cheese birthday parties that I threw my kids and like, it's that, you know, that Elvis, that, that animatronic guy is

terrifying. Yes, not only. Join the band. Yeah. Doug thought he could do a better Elvis than that, the animatronic doing it. So he would stand right in front of him and do his own. And he put on a full show and he would do stage banter

with the animatronics. Yep. He would get in a fight with one of them, like the Eagles that time. Yeah. He threatened to fight one after the show. I would do the final performance of Unchained Melody. Just pouring sweat.

That's right, that's right. Pouring sweat. Make everyone listen the whole thing. I want to back up. What happened with the Eagles? I'm not going to pretend I know this. There's a concert where Eagles are on stage. Okay, the band.

Just be the Eagles. Oh, you're upset about this. They're called, the name of the band is Eagles. Is it really? Yes. I don't think I ever thought about that. No, of course not. Why would you do that?

Yeah. My band is called Boxes. This is a Berenstain situation? Actually, not bad. No, it's not. Oh, okay. It's not. It's just that people, it's funny when a thing like this happens, people just defied them. They said, no, we're calling you the Eagles. The Eagles. Yeah. Except in Philadelphia, I think. Oh, right. How would you say it if you were from Philadelphia? Berndt has a great Philadelphia accent. I've been studying. What inspired you to study a Philadelphia accent? I'm just so fascinated by the people of Philadelphia. There's something about them. Maybe it's- I'll take your word for it.

Yeah, they're terrifying too. They're a combination of, I think, very amusing and also terrifying. Oh, wow. Yeah, there's a darkness there. Okay, all right. When Bruce Springsteen wrote that song, Darkness on the Edge of Town. That's what it was about.

He was talking about the edge of his town, which bordered Philadelphia. Oh, okay. So how would they say the Eagles? I always thought Teresa of Philadelphia was about Philadelphia. It is, because you didn't really, because, Doug, you didn't really listen to what, didn't really listen to what I was saying.

He's written two Philly songs. No, he's written, technically he's written, I would say one and a half. Oh no, now we're a Springsteen podcast. We really have to keep on track you guys. That mustn't happen. This isn't, we don't do any of these things. We're supposed to do one thing.

We don't do any of these things. Supposed to get to know our neighbors. Now, babe. Springstein. Okay. That's what I call him. Bruce Springstein. Good for you, babe.

That's fun. That's very fun. Good evening, I'm Springstein. So why, so why? Did you hear the blurm? The chicken man had finished us. Oh my gosh. It's already so confusing and we just started.

Okay, now I want to know, what? It's a death trap. Oh, nope, he wasn't done. He wasn't done. A suicide trap. You do enjoy doing this, don't you, Bernstein? Bring me Springstein. You enjoy it.

Seize him. I, I don't. Come the love of German accents like you do. I really don't. Can I ask a question of Doug? Is that okay? He's your husband. Well, I just want to make sure. I just want to make sure there's going to be no more German. Why did you answer like that in your Elvis? Because does have something to do with the room that you're in today. Oh, I answered because Bert started the episode with that. I pictured Elvis when he said, well, well, welcome. I pictured Elvis in suspicious mind, sort of revving up that welcome. Although, because he built a fully functioning Sizzler in our house and also a deli,

he started thinking, oh, maybe we should have a shop. And so I'm wondering, are you in the record shop? Yes, I am, yes. He wanted to build a record shop. So I don't know how this is going to work. I don't know why people would come to our house to go through records. That just seems strange.

Now Doug also is a local musician and several dad bands around town. Yes, Ruebarb Caravan is one of them. That's your main outfit, is that correct? That is. People do call us the Roobs. I know you confused him by that. The Roobs.

Yeah, and that's okay. You can put a the in there. He doesn't mind. So you know what? Here's the thing. Ruebarb Caravan, that's fine for a band name. it gives you more. Whereas Eagles, even the Beatles were the Beatles. You know what I mean? That is true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. You can just do one word and that's us. Unless it's yes. So how many? Fun period. Fun period. I can't stand it.

And was it a lowercase F too. Oh, it was. These guys. Send them straight to Gitmo. Oh, now that's just ridiculous. That is a ridiculous thing to say. We don't believe that here at this podcast. No, we don't believe BAM should be sending it to Gitmo. Please not have that be taken out of you. We shouldn't even have to say that.

John, you're right. Thank you. We shouldn't have to do disclaimers like that. We don't believe in sending bad things. What is happening? So babe, were you just going to put your own record collection? He has such a huge record collection. Yes.

And so I think they were just in this room for a long time. And then he decided, but do you actually think you're going to sell these or is it the kind of thing where you just want people to come and browse? Is this like a browse shop? Are you actually going to sell some of your beloved record collection? Be able to part with them. I think you're going to sell these? Or is it the kind of thing where you just want people to come and browse? Is this like a browse shop? Are you actually going to sell some of your

beloved record collection? Because I don't think you'd be able to part with them. I think it could be kind of like a buffet situation. I was so inspired by Sizzler. Like you'll put out the records amongst like parsley and stuff under like a sneeze guard. Definitely a sneeze guard. So you think he meant literally like a buffet.

We're talking to that. Have you met my husband? You know what? Fair enough. Don't blame me for that ridiculous assumption. This is based on what we know of him. Joan, you got me. You have a tray.

You have like a plastic red tray. You pile your discs on there, your tapes. Oh, so you're going to have discs and tapes. Your what? Shellac. Shellac records. What's shellac records? The original records were made out of shellac.

Oh, that's right. That's right. Why did they stop doing that? Because they broke. Yeah, they broke. They would shatter. I remember that now. That's a good reason. What are you going to call it, babe? What are you going to call the store?

Doug's Diner and Delicacies. What are you going to call it, babe? What are you going to call the store? Doug's Diner and Delicacies. The record shop is what you're calling. The record shop. No, no. I mean, you're calling them. Oh, wait. Is it Doug's Diner and Delicacies, colon, the record shop?

Yeah. That's long, Doug. I don't know about that. Why not Doug's Discs? That's really getting into a Precious by Sapphire sort of territory. That is confusing. Doug's disc is pretty good. I like that condensation.

It's still long. So it's Sapphire based on the novel. Wait, it's Precious based on the novel Pushed by Sapphire. Precious by Sapphire. The book ends. That's the fragrance. I'll have to push my sapphire, just precious my sapphire. Well, that's the fragrance. I've got it.

Oh, Doug emerging from the bathtub. Eureka! Doug's Discs Stakeout. No, why Doug? Doug's Disks Steakhouse. No, why Doug? Doug's Disks. First of all, every part of it is difficult to say. Why is the steakhouse in there? Because it's a record short of this.

It's like Ruth's Chris. Oh God, Ruth's Chris. So is it Doug apostrophe S, Disks apostrophe S? How does Ruth do it? How does Ruth's Chris do it? How does she do it? So is it Doug apostrophe S, disc apostrophe S, steakhouse? How does Ruth do it? How does Ruth Chris do it? How does she do it? It is actually Ruth apostrophe S Chris. Yeah, it's terrible. What a stupid, stupid name for a steakhouse brand.

So wait, what is it? Doug's Discs and then what? Steakhouse. Doug's Discs, Steakhouse. That's what Christopher Walken has to do, the commercial. That's the only one person who can do it. Let me hear a little bit of that. I can't do a German accent, but I'll do that for you. Dugs, discs, steakhouse.

I like when Christopher Walken, he has a moment sometimes where he seems surprised by the word that he just said. Steakhouse. Oh, yeah, that's good. That's good. So wait, OK, so I like Doug's discs. I really like it, even though it takes 17 more seconds to say than it should.

But I can't Scottish people say, Murda takes so long to say how I feel like losing ground in the investigation. We're losing ground in the podcast. You know, it's been so long since we recorded. I thought I'm not going to remember how to do this. So mainly Huey Lewis in the news. That's what that's what your collection is. A lot of sport, a lot of copies of sports.

A lot of copies of sports. Oh, sport. There's nothing that says your record collection can't be the same record over and over again. I guess that's true. Now you didn't be the same record over and over again. I guess that's true. Now, you didn't answer the question, would you be okay parting with any of these? Answer the question! Oh!

Yeah, that's how I got the idea, because I just saw so many copies of these. Oh, because you thought let's make some money. So let's sell some. You saw them. And why do you- Even though you have been the one actively collecting them, how many do you take for you? I always forget I still have it.

When I go to the record store, I go like, I love that album. He's bought so many and then he comes home and he's like, oh shoot, I did it again. Cause he sees the gigantic stack of them already there. How many do you have now? Probably like 700, 25 something. And you know what's crazy. He's purchased a lot of those on eBay. I mean, he's been bidding on them. Like down the hall, the original prints, the remasters, the deluxe version. There's really that many versions of that particular album. Yeah. There's

one, there's one with, um, remember when Huey Lewis showed his penis on screen? Nope. No, Remember when Huey Lewis showed his penis on screen? Nope. No. That's on the- I don't. Just in the liner notes. I just didn't have any of this. There was a movie where he-

A movie? Yeah, urinated in. They weren't planning it and he just whipped it out. What movie is this? And they left it in. What? I feel crazy. Now we're talking about movies again, but I have to know.

Is he a criminal? Oh. This man has been in precious few films and in one of them, he unprompted pulled his penis out and started urinating. They're all mad at that one girl who didn't want an intimacy coordinator. Please, please tell me what movie that was, babe,

because that sounds insane to me. The movie Shortcuts, 1993. Wait, I saw that. Is that like a Robert Altman film? Yeah, it'scuts, 1993. Wait, I saw that. Is that like a Robert Altman film? Yeah, it's Robert Altman. What? Oh my God.

I'm trying so desperately to keep us off of movies. Watch Along. Oh no, no. Too long. I don't want to see that sometime. Ironically named Shortcuts. Our bonus episodes, we do Watch Alongs and I just don't think we can do that.

We already spent way too much time on the first five minutes of Back to the Future. Now is Shortcuts not the movie that Julianne Moore does an entire scene bottomless? What is this movie? Sounds insane. This is so 90s. This is such a night.

This is so 93. Oh God. Everyone's got their bits and pieces out. They're being arty. You can tell none of the women wanted to do this. Oh, it's like an acting class where the person wants to get nude. Robert Downey Jr., Jack Lemon. Yeah, we had a bunch of people.

Stacked. So do you think that Huey Lewis? You said that like a morning DJ. Do you think Huey Lewis saw in the script that there's a scene where a woman has an argument where she's wearing no pants. And he said, I got to get in on this. Well, he didn't read the script. Give me a break. I could be remembering wrong, but I feel like I remember hearing or reading that he didn't

realize that he was on film. Like it was, how could that be possible? That's impossible. Give me a break. Just started going. This is like Sharon Stone, the basic instinct thing. That she had no idea that was happening. I don't, well, I don't want to relitigate that,

but it reminds me when you say that about Huey Lewis, because we did have a problem with the twins doing that constantly. You know, they just thought, oh, we can pee wherever we want to. And it was so hard. And I want to just mention, because we have talked a lot last season about the twins

and how they sold a pilot about parent pranks to the Chick-fil-A streaming service. And I'm sorry to say that it didn't get picked up in any way, shape or form. And- None? No, and now they're back, they moved back in. Oh no. This is of course, I'm talking to say that it didn't get picked up in any way, shape or form. And- None? No, and now they're back. They moved back in.

Oh no. And this is, of course, I'm talking about my twins, Matt and- Pirandello. Yes, Matt and Pirandello. And they've moved back in and they are, they're like really down in the dumps. Oh no. I've never seen them.

So this is how, this is how depressed they are. I set a chair on fire in front of them and Matt went, not cool, mom. Can you believe that? And they're known pyromaniacs. We've talked about this a lot on the podcast. Yeah, they love setting fires. And honestly, but not now, like nothing brings them joy.

And so what I told them is I was like, well, maybe it's time to finally finish kindergarten. Here's what happened. So they skipped the entire year because- We thought they were prodigies. So they skipped the entire year because- We thought they were prodigies. Yeah, in preschool, we thought they were so smart. So you took them out of, what happened?

How did this happen? No, I didn't agree with this. I was going to tell a different part of the story, but Doug dumped in. So you finished that part. Doug dumped in? This is a classic Doug dump in. Doug dump in or Doug jump in? I thought you said Doug Dumpin. See?

See? Always mishearing. We're always mishearing each other. We skipped them ahead. Well, I didn't, listen, I was not on board with this at all. Okay. But the boys thought it would be fun to sort of pretend that they had shot up in age and height and they put lifts in their shoes and they grew their hair out. How old were they? Now they were four at the time. They were four. And they went into first grade. They grew their hair out. And where did they, not only where did they-

A parentello grew a mustache. I couldn't believe it. I've never seen a four year old be able to grow a mustache. Where did they find the lifts and how are they aware of the concept? What was the first question? Where did they what? Where did they find the lifts to put in their shoes and how are they aware of the concept? What was the first question? Where did they what? Where did they find the lifts to put in their shoes? And how were they aware of the concept? Oh, Doug, of course. And he was like, boys, you wear lifts.

Oh, I don't wear lifts. No, no, no. They got the, you know, you put them under the table legs to raise the table. Shims. And we're proud to be sponsored this season by shims. Kim Kardashian's table balancing. Oh, I hate those commercials. I shouldn't say it because they're sponsoring us. It works surprisingly great. But I don't, you know,

does this ever happen to you when you're eating your salad and then it just keeps sliding off. And she's like, oh no. That table is more than a shim. The salad is sliding off the table. You might have got a boat. One of them is her on a yacht, you know, and it's so it's also, they sell shims

for your yacht tables as well. Sure. And they have seagull sounds in the background. It's just Chris. The bomb. Chris Jenner. Come on, Bert, keep up. Keep up with the kids.

Ruth Chris Jenner? Ruth Chris Jenner. Don't give her the idea. She will start that franchise. Oh boy, I'm sorry. What were we talking about? I don't know. It's hard to even say.

We were talking about the boys now finally going back and getting there, because they can't get their actual GED until they've finished kindergarten. No, this is the plot of Billy Madison, is that correct? Well, you know what? That's how I got them on board. I was like, you guys, don't you remember?

And then they were like, we forgot how much we love this movie. Also our teacher might be hot. And I was like, no, this is not why we're doing it. I made sure that there, no, I made sure their teacher was a very, their teacher is- A withered old crone.

Yeah, their teacher is Mr. Scrimshank. You remember him? He's the one teacher- Oh my God, he's not still alive? Never retired, still alive. Still teaching kindergarten. Still teaching kindergarten. Still cranky as hell.

Wow. Yeah. He wheels his oxygen tank in there. He's gotta be in his late nineties. Oh yeah, easily. Wow. And so I think he'll, you know, he'll set them straight. I'm excited about it.

I think it'll be good for them. I think it'll be good for them. All right. I mean, they're gonna be, so they're gonna be in there with other kindergartners or is this like a sort of- Well, I thought that that would be strange and not appropriate at all.

No, it would. Right, so he comes to the house and he schools them at home. He brings his auction to take care. And he makes them take naps and such? Well, that, I mean, it's really, really hard for them to do that because they never nap. He certainly takes naps.

Yeah, nap time is for him. I would imagine it's unannounced that he just sort of nods off. And then you have to wait and see if his chest. You just go with the flow. That's right, you just go with the flow. We have a life alert on him. He's fine, it's unannounced that he just sort of knots off. And then you have to wait. That's right. You just go with the flow. We have a life alert on him. He's fine. It's fine. It's all fine. So I think it'll be good for them. And I, but so now I want to ask you, because when we were finishing season, Steven, you were headed out to Wyoming where your girlfriend Gabby, uh, you were going to celebrate the holidays by jumping into a fire. And I didn't realize that, like, she came from a long line of, uh, of, um,

smokejumpers. So can you tell me what that was like meeting the folks and how is it going with you too? You know, Joan, I'm so glad that you asked me because it was, it was a really magical experience. So it was me, Gabby. That's just not the first word I would use. It sounds so terrifying. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, no.

Oh, Joan. Oh, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Nine, nine, nine. Okay. We, it, so it's me, Gabby. Right. Her mother. Yep. Her father. Okay. Her biological father. Okay. Her biological father. Okay.

Oh, twist. Her stepfather. And they all get along. They adore each other. Lots of fathers. Yes. They're, they're big pals. Big pals. Big pals. Okay. Her grandfather. What? Her niece. Okay. This is a lot of people. This is more than you were told. This is more than I was told. Her brother's no longer with us. Oh no. Well, he died a long time ago. Oh, okay. Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. He was hit by several cars. Did you ever see Meet Joe Black?

Oh no. No, not in that movie. This is like our fifth movie in 20 minutes. You know, I always thought it looked so depressing and I didn't, I didn't want to watch it for some weird reason, but then now because of, you know, I always thought it looked so depressing and I didn't wanna watch it for some weird reason. But then now, because of social media and all that stuff like that, all I keep seeing is that clip of like, where they turn around and look at each other

and she turns around and she looks at him and he turns around and he looks at her and then he turns around and looks at him. And I don't know what's going on there because I haven't seen the movie. But he's like, he's death, right? He's death in the movie, right? Yes, but did you get to the end of that clip?

No, oh, does she get hit by a car? She does not get hit by a car. Oh, does he? Joan, I can't wait for you to see this. I can't believe you have seen just the beginning of this moment. This is astonishing to me. During the break.

I really wanna know what happens. During the break, I will show it to you. Oh, you're going to show it to me. Okay. No, I cannot describe it. You have to see it. Anyway, so we all, we go up in a plane. Oh no. It's a controlled burn.

A controlled burn. A controlled burn. Okay. So there's not, it's not, we, you know, the fire was set by the family, but it was not, they knew what they're doing. Okay. I instantly regret bringing this up. We go up, we go up in the plane.

And then the idea is we're going to jump out and form a circle. Oh, you know, skydive. Yes. What? You've never skydiven? I've never skydiven. I've never skydiven.

And, but I, of course, I took all the classes and everything. And, and so we all jump out. And the idea is we're going to join hands and form a big circle. And land in the fire at the same time. Do you sing? Yeah, but we can't hear each other. And everybody's cheeks are going crazy. Oh, of course. Absolutely.

You can't do a thing when you're doing that. We all tried though, and our mouths got so dry. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then we land in the, in the, there's a, what they call the eye of the fire. Oh, I just thought it was the eye of a hurricane. I didn't know there was an eye of a fire. Every weather event has an eye.

An earthquake. Eye of the rain. Eye of the earthquake. Absolutely. Eye of the fog. Eye of the fog. Oh, here's the thing about the eye of the fog. You're it. Oh, and you're in the fog. You're the eye of the fog. Oh, okay. That's kind of beautiful. Yeah, it is. All right. So what happens? You land. We land. We're in the flames. Now we're all wearing flame retardant gear. Sure. And we land, then we get in single file, smallest to tallest.

Okay. Fire drill file. Was this all pre-decided or was this just organic? They do this every year. So you're just following along? Yeah, this is my first year that I've been invited to do it. They gave you no prep. I never said that.

Oh, okay. I just got the sense that this was all happening as it was happening. No, they told me everything was gonna happen. They told me everything was gonna happen. I did forget a lot of it. Okay, well I could imagine. And I was scrambling to catch up. Sure.

Yeah, because for a second I thought I was actually flying. And I wanted to break the circle so badly and see where I could go. Oh, I'm so glad you didn't. I am too in retrospect. And so we land on the fire, we're surrounded by flames and we line up single file. And then we all do like a jaunty march.

He's doing sort of like robot arms if you can't see for the listeners. Well, because I'm sitting at a table. I can't. I can't swing my arms away. I would like to. And we sing a song. Oh.

And the song goes, Out of the flames, out of the flames we go. Now, of course I can only sing one note. It sounds nicer than that. Yes, okay, so it actually has a melody. Yes. Okay, great. And then we get out of the fire and we all join hands. We bow our heads and we say, that was nuts.

And they do this every year. Wow. And then, and then after that you just kind of party. Pop the champagne, everybody hugs. Well, that sounds great. We have a picnic right on the edge of the fire. Lovely. That sounds really different.

Yeah, it is. That sounds really different. It really is different. It really is different. It's not the same. Nope, definitely not. And so you guys are doing well. We're doing great. I really is different. It really is different. Yes, it's not the same. Nope, definitely not. And so you guys are doing well. We're doing great.

I'm so glad. We're doing great. We're really, we're sort of talking next steps because we did, we did. I mean, how do you top skydiving into a fire? Well, I'm talking about marriage. Is marriage still scarier than that? You know what, Joan?

In a way it is. Because you know, remember, we came very close to getting married. And then it did not happen. And I don't want to talk about it. It's not because I can't remember what happened. It's distressing to talk about. So this is this is a big issue of trust for both of us to be talking about this again. Oh, wow. Okay, You are sweating profusely. I know I am. And so I think I really need to know what this is later. And I'm also freezing cold.

Well, why don't we get you a blanket? Okay. Babe, I feel like we've been talking long enough. How long? Are you ready for us to ask you how long we've been talking? First one of the season. It's the first one of the season. It's the first time where we ask him how long it was.

Forgive me. It's the first one of the season. Oh. I never normally do this. I normally never do this. Wow. It's a big old 28 minutes. Oh, we've got to stop. Half of that was movies.

What's the opposite? And German accents. What's the opposite of senior writers? Because that's what we have. That was a rhetorical. All right. We are going to take a break. And when we return, we will have a guest

right here on The Neighborhood Listen. ["The Neighborhood Listen"] Nicole. What? I hate telling you this. Oh. Vacation season is nearly upon us. Oh, I think that's great news.

Well, I'm glad you say that because this year I'm treating myself to the luxe upgrades that I deserve with Quinn's high quality travel essentials at fair prices. Are you talking about like lightweight European linen styles from $30 washable silk tops and comfy lounge sets with premium luggage options and stylish tote bags to carry it all. You want to know what the best part is? All Quinn's items are priced 50 to 80 percent less than similar brands. By partnering directly with top factories, Quinn's cuts out the cost of the middle man and passes the savings on to us. And let me just tell you right now, when we're going to talk

about an item I just got from them, it's a wonderful, literally transitional, can wear it for any event. A great white t-shirt, a blouse that buttons down. It's fantastic. I love it so much. Got a shark on it? It does not have a shark on it. Oh, it's a white t-shirt that's great.

I see. I myself treated myself with our discount to a cashmere hoodie. Ooh. I've never had anything this luxurious. Oh, I love that. It's the most comfortable garment I own and I protect it with my life.

I'm going to call everybody to action. For your next trip, treat yourself to the lux upgrades you deserve from Quince. Go to quince.com slash TNL for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Q-U-I-N i n c e dot com slash t n l to get free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash t n l. Hey, this is Randy. I got a aquarium stand, $75 black and

gray, approximately 49 inches inches wide 13.5 inches depth two feet tall as you can see I left them this is just one example of many random pictures that I included of me holding a measuring tape to the item without any being able to see it all where the measuring tape starts I just want to assure you that it's in good condition. I know, I know what you're gonna say. You're gonna be like, Randy, no it's not. I'm telling you it is, bro. I'm telling you it is.

I know it doesn't photograph good, you know what I mean? It photographs all dented and like dusted and shit. But no, it's all good. $75, well worth $75, yeah, come get it. Are we back, We're back. Okay. He didn't show me just for the listener. He didn't show me the, um, Meachup Black clip yet, but you'll have to do that. Oh no, I forgot.

Yeah, you did forget, but it's okay. I'm really excited to watch it. All right. After, after. Because you went to sort of like a shock, like you went in the corner, you were sweating, we put a blanket on you. Yes.

So are you okay? Are you okay to continue? Yeah, I, I, yeah. Okay. Well, that's as good as we can do right now. So we have a guest as we always do. Yes. Here's what we do.

We scour the neighbor app, the social networking application for neighborhoods, and we look up dignity falls and we see if there's anybody interesting out there in our neighborhood that we want to talk to. Sometimes we try to amplify a message that they have. Sometimes we, we see if they're trying to sell something, if they need help with something. But there's a lot of interesting people and we invite them onto the show and you can send us a post. If you find one, you think that's important to talk about screenshot it and send it to us at

burntandjohnatgmail.com. One of our listeners did. This is Patricia Easley sent this in. Okay. Thank you, Patricia. And that was a great intro, burnt. You did so good. Thank you so much, Joan. I appreciate that. Are my teeth chattering? No, you're okay. Your eyes are bloodshot, but otherwise than that, you're okay. Now this is, this is two posts. Oh, okay. They are connected. And they're from the same person, from someone named Alan. This is in the crime and safety section of the neighbor app. First post reads, this is my cat!

Help in all caps. Alan goes on to say, in a separate post. Okay. Sharon, that is my cat, two exclamation marks. Is there a picture? Nope. Oh, okay. No picture, two separate posts.

Okay. And please welcome to the neighborhood, listen, Alan. Hi, hello, hello. Hello, Alan. Hi, Alan. Hi, hello, hello. Hello, Alan. Hi, Alan Klump. Okay. Not like the movie Klumps. Like the movie Klumps.

Oh, really? The movie Klumps. Yeah. What are movie Klumps? Sorry, you can't. Oh, that's the loyalty program we have in our theater. It's like a punch card for yogurt. Yeah.

Instead. You get clumps. You get a sack and they dump a clump in. We're trying to go to the punch card system, but for now we're clumps. It'd be a lot less gross. We're doing clumps. We're doing clumps.

Yes, well, you brought up something that is news to me about my post, which I should be honest. I am not the best at social media. I am still new to social media. Really? Okay. Okay.

That is my cat. That is my cat. Which cat are we? That is my cat. Okay, right. Listen. You're just keep saying that as my cat. That is my cat.

Look, I have a cat. Okay. I'm really trying to raise her profile on social media. I'm really trying to make her a cat influencer. And so I find that the word help gets people's attention. Right. Sure. It does. It's sort of like clickbait.

So I have been using help to try and get eyes on my cat. And I really thought I had attached the picture of the cat to the post. Yes, because I did wonder if there was one. Oh, shoot. And let me ask you. Shoot. It's OK.

It's OK. Take a breath. Just take a breath. You're in a safe place. We're here to clear things up. I love posts like this because then we can clear things up because I think people are confused. Absolutely.

Now, Alan, is Sharon the name of the cat? It read to me as if Sharon had abducted the cat. But that's how I read it too. Well, so Sharon is someone in our neighborhood, my neighbor who lives on Cleveland, oh, short, neighborhood, neighbor Sharon. Look, and I really thought that she would enjoy a picture of the cat.

I know that she has a few Instagram followers. I was hoping that she would share the picture of the cat. Who is Sharon? She has some Instagram followers. I missed that. Sharon is neighbor Sharon. Sharon is neighbor Sharon. Who lives near you.

Who lives near me on Cleveland. Okay. And I was really trying to tag her to see if I could get some eyes on my cat. Okay. Look, I- So you were just trying to get Sharon's attention, basically. I was trying to get Sharon's attention. Okay. You were hoping for a repost. Ellen, Ellen, you seem very flustered. I'm so sorry. I know. I want you to feel relaxed. Look, I'm so sorry. It's that my grandson,

he used to run the social media account for the cat and then he went off to college Oh gosh He went off to college. He left me with all the passwords and I'm in over my head Oh that's not fair. Wait, how many followers? Now wait, do we establish the name of your cat? My cat's name is Sam Sam How many followers does Sam have?

And what is the handle if I may ask? Sam has 9,000 followers Wow! That's a lot! Why do you need Sharon's help? Yes, look, I'm trying to monetize this cat. Oh, I see it. Sure, what is the handle? I'm trying to monetize this cat.

Well, first and foremost, we're gonna get that handle out here right on the airwaves right now. What is Sam Cat's handle? Sam Cat's handle is at Sam Danger, danger cat. Look at this cat. That's a long handle. That's a long handle. At Sam Cat, danger, danger. Look at this cat. Look, I know. So listen, I'm trying to get my cat's profile out there. So I can get some more sponsorships, maybe some more,

to get on the- Some more sponsorships. I used to, you know, my grandson had some sponsorships for the cat. Okay, and what were they? Well, we had Purina for a minute. Oh, that's huge. Why do I feel like she means a literal minute?

Yeah, why did you feel that way, Ellen? Am I right? You are feeling that way because you saw our Purina app that our Purina ad, there was a- Ellen, you've gotta relax. I'm so sorry. My grandson has all the passwords you have to understand. And for everyone, listen, Ellen hasn't sat down yet.

No. Like literally just pacing back and forth. He's not even at the table. Like we have a microphone. Should I sit down? Yeah, you should sit down. Oh, I'm sorry. I'll sit down. I'll sit down. Let's start from square one. I'm sorry, Alan. I'm sorry I misgendered you, but you were so far away. Yes. We just want to make sure. Okay. So, okay. So you're sitting down. Alan is sitting down. Fantastic. That should help. That should help.

I'm relaxed. My heart rate is going down. My pacemaker has stopped beeping. Everything is wonderful. Normal. So happy to be here. Okay. So the, yep. Listening. No, okay.

We're talking about, I don't mean to interrupt you. This is your show. No, no, but you are our guest. Silence. Oh, please don't do that. Doesn't help anybody. That's not going to, that's going to not make nobody realize. Einstein.

I was just trying to. Oh no, now that I'm hearing it, silence. It sounded so rude. Listen, I'll go stand up and I'll stand over there again. Please sit down. Please stay seated. Okay, I'll sit back down. You were going to tell us about your Purina ad

and why would, why did that go south so quickly? Well, my grandson, he is. Okay, what's his name? Okay, let's talk about him. My grandson. Let's talk about him. All right, let's talk about the elephant in the room. Yeah, for sure.

Alan's grandson. Let's address my grandson. His name is Elmer. Okay. And he is starting freshman year at Stanford University. Good for him. And he is Generation Alpha. Oh.

So he was raised, he was an iPad baby, right? Oh, sure. He was an iPad baby, and so he gained knowledge of all of these apps and whatnot. So he reached out to Purina, said something to the effect of, bet you won't sponsor my grandma's cat page. So it was a dare.

He sort of dared him to do it. And Purina, social media person, as much as I can understand, it responded bet. And so- Responded bet. He responded bet. And that's sort of a gen alpha phrase for like, you got it. Brands are very savvy.

Oh, thank you. I did need a little bit of help with that. Brands like to pretend they're fun people. That's the thing. Yes, brands are very sad. Oh, thank you. I did need a little bit of help. Brands like to pretend they're fun people. Uh-huh. That's the thing. Yes, brands are. Yes, they are. As far as I can understand it, brands are people just like you and I and brands are people.

My friend for sure. And what does it mean again specifically was it convey? It conveys it conveys like, yes, or I agree. Okay, okay. Bet like you got it. I'm so sorry. I don't want to be hung up on it, but I don't know. I want to know how it's spelled too.

It's just- BET. Oh, okay, bet. I did hear Doug do a plaintiff, but- But by the way- Did you have something to say? Oh boy, what's happening over there, man? Related to this subject of what the kids are saying,

like July P and they're all saying, just like bet. That's right. Yes. I had this thought earlier and I didn't, I didn't voice it. Okay. Season eight, no crumbs. So not a name, just two phrases. We're adding, we're adding a phrase to the end.

Season eight, no crumbs. I mean, it's a pretty tall order just to start out that way. It's a challenge really. Is this something people will still be saying by the end of the season? I don't know. Because I feel like it's really on the way, you never know.

It sure is, it's on the chopping block. You can tell by who starts saying it, that this is, oh, it's starting to start to be me. You are the example. Yeah. Oh, I'm so sorry. Sorry, the voice you're hearing, and I don't want to startle you,

because I know you, I think you're easily startled. Is my husband, he is our engineer, he's in another room. He's in the other room. Oh, oh, there he is. Sorry, that was really loud, babe. You just gotta be. I don't know why you said it that way. We've got someone who's really.

I'm sorry, no, I don't mean to make my problem your problem. No, you. I need to be less easily startled. Alan, you're perfect. You haven't done anything to upset anyone. Oh, thank you. Alan,. Allen, you're perfect. You haven't done anything to upset anyone. Allen, to me, you are perfect. Oh, thank you. Thank you.

That's so nice to hear. Now I have to put these cards away. My therapist sent you those or something? Allen, you are right where you're supposed to be right now. I'm right where I supposed to be. Right where I'm supposed to be. So you have, so this is how you got the, we're talking about the Purina ads still.

Yes, the Purina ads. Right, so, so, so Elmer said, so Purina responded bet. Right, right, right. Last one left off. Purina responded bet, as it will sponsor your cat. Sure. So my grandson made-

Elmer. Elmer, yes. He made this ad, this sponsored content for Purina. It was up for a minute. And then Purina said, actually, no bet, no go, no go, take it down. No bet, no go, no go, no go, take it down. They said that, I guess it wasn't what they were looking for. He tried to get too me me with it, too ironic. Could you give an example? Like what was the images? He said, well, it's this thing where the kids, they think that talking about the brand like it's bad is good. So they were saying my cat would never eat purina. Oh sure.

And they didn't like it. Sure. Yeah. Cause it's tough. It didn't work. Was that it? My cat would never eat purina? That was the commercial. Yeah.

And what was happening in the ad while this is being said? It was a cat in the background. Was your cat in it? My cat was in it. Sam was in it throwing up. Oh, yeah. That certainly didn't help. And they didn't like it. Nobody in it. Sam was in it throwing up. Oh, yeah, that certainly didn't help. And they didn't like it.

Nobody liked it. Instagram didn't like it. Purina didn't like it. Instagram told you they didn't like it. They sent me an email. They said, we don't like this. Instagram sent her an email. Wow.

They sent me an email from Instagram. It feels special. And I responded, you know, what can we do to fix this? And they said nothing. So look, you know, what can we do to fix this? And they said nothing. So look, I know. There's no movement there. There's no wiggle room. Nothing. He said nothing and I, and there's not much to go from there. They, they sort of put a hard stop to the relationship. So has there been an ad campaign that you have been running that has been successful?

Well, since I took over, I haven't been able to make it happen. Since I took over, I've been emailing brands. I've been saying, you know, danger, danger. Who are you going out to? What kind of brands are we talking about? Wait, wait, wait. So the danger, to the danger of it.

Do you open the emails with danger, danger? I open with danger. Okay. Because that is in the handle, right? That, to the danger of it. Do you open the emails with danger, danger? I open with danger. Okay. Because that is in the handle, right? That is in the handle, yes. Has anyone ever told you that might be part of the problem? It's because I don't, why is danger in it? That is interesting, because I am trying to grab eyes.

Right. And I would say it's working in that my comment section is flooded. It's your word. It's with people going, is the cat okay? Are you okay? Right? That's sort of like a ratio problem where really no one's really liking it for a good reason. And they're commenting for a bad reason.

Cause they're concerned. And people really do have trouble interpreting things online when they see them because if the handle has the word danger in it, I don't, I would not take that to mean, Oh, this cat is perpetually in danger. Oh, right. Yes. But people, there are people that read that, this cat is perpetually in danger. Oh, right, yes. But there are people that read that and say, is the cat in danger? Yeah, and I mean, I get it.

It makes someone immediately invested, but maybe in the wrong way than what you're hoping. Yes, that was concerning. And then you can sometimes get angry if somebody says, oh no, there's no problem. And you feel as if they've led you to believe there is a problem, and you try to help out,

and then they say, oh no, everything's fine. Oh God, it's exhausting. I don't know how you do it. I'm getting mad at you. Oh no, Bert, to help out and then they say, oh no, everything's fine. Oh God, it's exhausting. I'm getting mad at you. Oh no, no, no, no, Ellen. Oh no, we don't need this. Oh, I'm sorry Ellen. Sit down, sit down, please sit down. This is good to figure this out

because it's interesting to hear from the other end of it, because I spend a lot of my days responding to people who say, is the cat okay? Is the cat okay? Is the cat okay? And I respond, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I say, yes, why do you ask? Yes, why do you ask?

Yes, why do you ask? Oh, we respond to every single one that's exhausting. It takes a long time. And I think that people sort of drop off. They don't want to know more about the cat once I engage. Well, sure. Yeah, because they're already scrolling onto the next thing.

What if you shot a fun reel where the cat, where Sam's doing something fun or playful and show that the cat is okay? So people need to be shown, I think. Right, right. And then grab their attention with something like SOS. No, no, no. What I'm saying is let it just be,

let it just be a happy cat. Need, need assistance. No, no, those, I think. Why, no. Need. No, need assistance. I think that, you know what's happening, Alan? I think because you have a pacemaker and you're an older person, you're getting flooded. Your algorithm is just full of, you know, I've fallen and I can't get up and I need assistance. And I watch every time when the life alert commercial comes on, when I fall in and I can't get up, it's,

it grabs me right away. It's great for engagement. I go, I'm locked in. I'm like, I want to know if this person's getting up. But you understand that's for a specific product that's designed for that eventuality. Correct. And it doesn't, you can't just use that same advertising for anything. No, especially a cat, you know, because that is something that generally on Instagram, and I feel like social media people are looking at to the cat videos for solace or for happiness or for a good laugh, you know, something feel good. No one wants to see a cat in danger. So the two words shouldn't be together unless it's danger cat, you know, and that sounds like a pun.

Oh, that sounds fun. Well, I don't mean to give the idea, but Did you say it was a pun? No, it sounds fun. Oh, fun. I was really racking my brain for a second. I mean, this is this is a huge cat was all I came up with. No. So now what is Alan is sorry. You're Alan is Sam a cute cat?

Sam is a fairly cute cat. Okay, he's fairly cute. He's he's got, you know, these adorable whiskers. Like orange tabby or what are we talking about? Calico. He's a tortoiseshell cat. Oh, very. Tortoiseshell cat.

I love him. Found him outside nine years ago. He's nine years old. Dying? Alive. No, I thought you said I found him outside. Wow, Joe. Dying years ago. Dying years ago said I found him outside. Wow, Joe. Dying years ago.

Dying years ago. I found him. Sorry. What would that phrase mean? If that were a phrase, dying years ago. Years ago, she found him outside dying, then she saved him. I apologize. It applies specifically to any living thing you found dying.

I thought that she saved him. But I now realize it was nine years ago. It applies specifically to any living thing you found dying. I thought that she saved him. But I now realize it was nine years ago. Dying years ago, in a way, every year is dying if we are all towards that trajectory. Oh, yeah, as soon as we're born, we start dying. We start dying. But we're really focusing on negative stuff again.

Now, please don't do things about the cat dying. You know, you get conceived, and then things are going great. And then as soon as you come out, you're dying. Oh, my gosh. Every day you get older and older until you're no more. This is true. Oh boy. This is really bringing me down.

Oh gosh, I gotta stand up and walk around. I gotta stand up and walk around. There he goes. Now I'm confronting my mortality. Okay. Whoa, whoa. He's on the island now. I need you to get down, Allen,

because that's not safe. You have very brittle bones. Okay, okay. Come on, get down. I'll hop off. Oh God, no, don't hop off. Take my hand. Take, oh, because that's not safe. You have very brittle bones. Okay, okay. Come on, get down. I'll hop off. Oh God, no, don't hop off. Take my hand. Oh, wow.

Pretty spry. Pretty spry. I like that little noise you made. Yeah, it was adorable. Look, I- See, this is what I'm talking about. Maybe like a little fun video of Sam with like little sound effects that you make like that,

you know, or, you know, just can I has cheese, you know, the way- Okay, now that one- Can I has a, you know, the way. Okay, now that one. Can I has a cheeseburger? Now I know that meme, yes. That one's older than eight, no crumbs. I don't know, I'm a realtor. What do you want from me?

I never pretended to be into all this stuff. You know what Joan, what really sold it for me was the hand on the hip. Can I have? Oh, she did the hand on the hip? Well, I've the hand on it. I've always thought that it should come with that gesture. Absolutely.

I forgot the burger part. Thank you, Alan. Can I have cheese? Can I has cheese? Can I has cheese? Now it's walking, being surprised by it. So maybe we can narrow in on what words are the problem. Really? Because I-

Narrow in at all. Look, I would love to, I mean, you know, cause I'm trying to, I'm trying to monetize the cat. I'm trying to find an income stream. I, you know, I run the, I run the, the, the movie theater, just the clumps, a list program. And so it's not very lucrative. Now just the clumps is where you don't actually see the movies. You just collect the clumps. Yeah. So it's, that's gotta be a real specific type of person. It's for lovers of subscription to movie theaters. It's for people who like-

That's a niche group. Joan does the greatest impression of the video that plays before the movie. Oh, I'd love to see it. Oh, I love that one. Of that actress that says, you know, why we all gather in this place. Okay, I hope I can remember it.

I forget which actress it is. I think it's in this place. Okay. I think it's Nicole Kidman. Okay. That's the AMC one. Oh, oh, I'm thinking of the AMC one. The dignity one is similar, but. It's a different actress, but I can't remember who it is. And what would you say she sounds like, Berndt? You know, actressy.

It's somebody famous though. That you know. Oh, you mean like someone who's not Nicole Kidman? Yeah, well, I mean, it's not because Nicole Kidman does the AMC one. This is another famous actor that you're familiar with. And I think I've heard you do this impression before. Is it the one where it's like, we come to the theater. Yes, it's CCH Pounder.

Oh, no. I don't want to be caught doing that. I don't, that's not appropriate. Bert, that's not appropriate. I didn't know you met her. Now I feel like you set a trap for me. That's not fair. No, I'm not trying to trap you. I'm so sorry. Maybe it's not, but what does she say again?

She says, and it's not CCH Pounder. No, it's not. I misspoke. It's CCA Pounder. CCA Pounder. Yes. That's right. She's a little lone actress, but she's been in everything. Trust me, name it, she's been in it. And she says, we come to the theater to see love. We come to the theater to see pain. We come to the theater to get clumps. My clumps, my clumps, my lovely movie clumps. My clumps, my clumps,

my lovely movie clumps. Collect them all. And then she disappears. Yeah, just disappears. And the sweatshirts that we've been selling that say my clumps, my clumps, my lovely lady clumps have been selling so well.

Oh, that's great. So well. Well, that's good. So well. That's good. But that is a very niche group of people that don't see the movies. They just want the clumps. Just want the clumps. They're like those Disney pin collectors, you know, it's very specific. They hate Disney. They love the pins. That's right.

Don't want anything to do with the rides. Just give me those pins. A lot of times you'll hear them say like, look, I can't send Disney, but credit where credit is due. Great pins. That's right. Now here's the other thing.

That's a good idea. What about merch for Sam? Merch for Sam. Merch for Sam. Yeah, Merch for Sam. Merch for Sam. Merch for Sam. Merch for Sam.

You could do mugs, you could do pins, you could do a sweatshirt. Oh no, that's a nice idea. You know? That's a very nice idea. Don't put the words danger or help on there. No danger, I know that there's a famous, we love the cat hanging from the tree,

but something more fun and more positive, you know? Positive, P-A-W-S-O-T-I-V-E, what about that? So you think- Keep it positive. You think people who are, you know, just going about their day, they're looking for things to engage with their day, they're looking for things to engage with. Anything.

They're looking for anything. Anything. Please, please, something grab me. Something grab me. Yes. You think positive is enough? I do. I really do.

To get eyes on my Sam? I do actually, especially if it's a picture of your Sam. I really hope this works. Well, I mean, that's just one idea, Ellen. I will need you to come up with more. Yeah, for the videos. I mean, is there something cute that Sam does that you love? Do you talk to Sam in a sort of cat voice

like a lot of people do with their pets? Yes, yeah. Well, Sam and I do have these little conversations where I'll say, how's it going, Sam? And then he'll say meow. And then I'll say, oh, very good, Sam. And then he'll say meow and then I'll say, oh, very good Sam. And then he'll say meow. And you know, I've, I've tried to film these, uh, and I just don't know if there's anything,

uh, cuttable. I mean, cuttable, cuttable, clippable, clippable. The kids love vertical clips. You see, they, they don't want to engage with anything horizontal anymore. Right. Right. Yeah. Have you thought about turning the camera? Oh my God. 90 degrees. Oh my God. Oh, my God. I could go 90.

Go 90. Okay. Now this is a lot to take in. I really, I really, really, really want it to work. I think you should change the handle to Sam Goes 90. And I think that that will catch people's eye and then it's gonna look the way they want. And then you could have a little dialogue with them. And what's fun, you could do little subtitles of what he's actually saying, maybe. I've seen that a lot.

People really enjoy that. Oh, is it too much? Is that market flooded? I mean, yes, but that doesn't seem to be stopping people. Okay, there you go. Like subtitles for the cat for what he's saying. Like the cat's what he's saying. Like the cat's like hecken, hecken hu-man.

What? Hecken hu-man doggo. Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo. He could say that. Can I has cheese? Can I has cheese, for example. Can I has cheese? Thank you for doing the hand on hip.

I hate to correct you. Anytime. I believe it's I can has cheese. No, I know babe, I got it wrong. We've already been over this. I got not hip. I hate to correct you. Anytime. I believe it's, I can't has cheese. No, I know babe. I got it wrong. We've already been over this. I got it wrong. It's embarrassing for me.

I tried to move on. I know, but Doug, we can't relitigate this. We simply can't. If we're not going to relitigate Sharon's own basic instinct, we're not going to relitigate. We're not relitigating anything. Nothing, nothing, not today. Not today.

All right, so Alan,, Alain, let me, let's get a sense of your background. So do you, do you live alone? Oh, this is a good question. Is it just you and Sam? Thank you, Joanne. I live a bachelor lifestyle. First good question of the season.

Oh, oh. You do. I live a bachelor lifestyle. I am single. Were you married? I mean, you have a grandson. Yes, I was married. My wife, Evelyn, and I are,

my ex-wife, sorry, I misspoke, force of habit. It's been 10 years since the divorce. I am a bachelor. And part of the reason why I'm trying to monetize my cat, why I'm trying to get this income stream is because I am simply addicted to going on dates with women. Oh.

Simply addicted to it. Simply addicted to it. I love going on dates with women, taking them to the movie theater. I love taking them to restaurants. It's so fun to take a woman to a location. Wow. Well, that's really refreshing. Honestly, guys get it. I know my guys get it. I know my guys get it. Yes. I love taking a woman to a location. Oh, you dirty dog. Oh, stop it. All my friends say that. All my friends say that about me.

They all say that. Oh, but no, I'm not too much of a wild horse or anything. I go on a lot of first dates. I go to a lot of, it's a lot of PG stuff. It's a lot of, a lot of first dates. Now that's interesting. Are there any follow-up dates

or are you really kind of first date kind of person? I love it. Are you looking for a relationship or just for these dates? I really, I'm in it for the dates, I think. So you just like the experience of like going out to a dinner and then later, like a little, you know, like a French kiss over the shirt action.

Yes. Over the shirt at most. That's PG. You can do that. All those PG movies. They do it in Trek. Watch. They do it in Trek.

They do over the shirt. There's heavy petting. No one's even wearing a shirt. I think I remember. I'm pretty sure I remember. Over the tunic? I. There's heavy padding. No one's even wearing a shirt. I think I remember, I'm pretty sure I remember. Over the tunic?

I'm pretty sure I remember them doing over the tunic and trick. Yeah. But I love it. I love the, I love, I love, you know what I love is the check dance. Yeah. I love the check dance.

Love that, the back and forth. Or should I? Am I gonna? Or are you gonna? Or are you gonna? Should I? Should I? The reach, yeah.

Yes. What Doug would do when we were dating is he would flip, he would grab his wallet and he'd flip it out like he was a six shooter in a gunfight and really be like, whoop, whoop. You know, it would just let me know, you ain't paying little lady. Remember that babe when you would do that?

You don't remember it? Oh no, I, no, I, sorry. Oh, he's saying like, nope, you're not gonna pay. You're not gonna pay this one. I really thought that was so hard. Like I do not remember that at all. And then sometimes I would whip it around like a switchblade.

Yes, he would always with sound effects. I just thought, oh, he's cute. You mean like a butterfly knife? Yes. Okay. Is that different than a switchblade? The switchblade is just the one blade that comes out and the butterfly knife is sort of like, it's kind of where you're whipping it around.

I don't even know how to describe it. Yeah, I don't know. I hope an alien never asks me. It's as if a Swiss army knife lost all its screws. Joan, perfect. Now, Alan, what do you know in advance you're going to pick up the check or do you genuinely not know what's going to happen?

Do I know in advance if I'm dating the woman? Do you like to pick up the check on a date? I, oh yes. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Hey, are you okay? I had something in my throat. I'm so sorry, I had something in my throat. Are you in danger? I'm sorry, sorry. Hey, are you okay? I had something in my throat. I'm so sorry, I had something in my throat. Are you in danger?

I'm just so worried. No, I'm not in danger. Okay, okay, good. I'm not in danger, I'm perfectly safe. Great. I, no, I know, I know I'm gonna pick up the check. Always know, you always are going to. So it's funny you make them sort of wonder a little bit.

I like to make them go, oh should I? Oh, it's the 21st century. Oh, but, but, but, but, but the night, but the fifties are back. Oh, but they're not. But also, and so I like fun move. You go, allow me, I'll pick this up. And then you always have a bunch of change in your pocket. And then you just start counting quarters. Like you're going to pay and just pure. Oh, so you really drag it out. Yeah. Although there was one time when he said, let me pick this up. And he just picked it up, like literally just picked it up, held it. Yeah. And then dropped it. I did not like that one. We broke up for five months after that. That makes sense. I can see that.

So, uh, now go on about the dating. I want to know, are you a serial dater? Do you really call any of these women ever again, or are you just kind of doing a one-off every time? It's turned into a one-off. You know, I, I try to, you know, do a second date, do the sort of like the, the, the boring couple hangouts where you're just watching TV with your, with your partner. I try, I try to go, well, we've, you know, we've done one date. Now it's time for a relationship.

And then I go in there and, and I just mean binge watching a series together. Yes. We flip on the love is blind or the ultimatum or whatever Nick cliche Vanessa cliche project is available. Do they have more than one project now? Oh, they have so many projects. They have at least two projects. They've always got something going on.

A million different things. I do admire them for that. Absolutely. No flies on them. No flies on them. But I simply, I just don't feel that same spark I get when I'm meeting a new woman at a new location and paying for her to have a lovely time.

That's a very specific high that you're chasing, you know? I wonder if there's a way to achieve that where it's just not so costly for you, because this seems like the whole reason why you're trying to monetize your cat. It's expensive. Cost prohibitive for you to do this. It's very expensive. And I've tried to do first aid at the library, first aid at the park, first aid at the beach, you know, things that are that are free or cheap.

And it just doesn't feel the same. Wow. It's part of it for you is the spending. That's, that's part of the spending and the climax of that, that the third act of the date where you have to pay the check, there's a, there's no check to pay at the beach. There's no check to pay at the park. So how long do you stay there? Sometimes you stay there, what? 10 hours. Oh, there's no natural out. There's no natural out. There's no natural out.

They don't start putting the chairs up at the beach. You know what's fun on a date when you you're you've paid the check and you're still just hanging out there and you're still talking. And that's when you know it's going really well. I know. And it's so nice and closing it down. At the beach. What happens? The sun goes down. Yeah. No one wants to be at the beach when it's after hours. And then if you get there at a time where it's almost five

and then it's like, well, we should go home. This is kind of a bust, but the sunset is happening. So we do have the pressure to stay for the sunset. Yes, you have to watch the sunset. That's a romantic moment to sort of social pressure. Yeah. Oh, God's majesty. Oh, it's a nightmare.

And I have a question. So I have a question. So I have a question. Yes. Your grandson Elmer, is he your only living relative right now? What about your children? Yeah. Oh my children.

Yes. My children. Doesn't this seem that should have been the beginning of the conversation? Oh my children. Ah, God, shoot. My children. Okay. Why do you just keep saying that?

I don't know. I just, they're going to. Oh God. He's getting under the sun. Oh, God, shoot my children. Okay, wait, why do you just keep saying that? I don't know, I just, they're gonna. Oh, God, he's getting under the chair. They're gonna be all. Ella, we can't see you. What's going on? Please come out. Let me come back.

Please come out. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a drama queen. I just know they're gonna be all passive aggressive about this when I see them at Christmas to go, oh, well, interesting you brought up Elmer before us. Oh, interesting. Oh, you mean on this podcast?

You think they'll listen to the podcast? Yes, I think they'll listen. I think they'll listen and they'll go, why wasn't I, Lisa, or I, Meredith, my two daughters, my children, my children. Lisa and Meredith. Lisa and Meredith. You keep saying that a lot,

like you have to remind yourself that they're your children. What's going on there? Okay. I just want to make sure I have all my ducks in a row. He's holding a picture up of both of them. I've got, yes, I've got them right here. And they're lovely. Just want to make sure I have all my ducks in a row.

So yes, I have my. Which one is Elmer's mother? Meredith is Elmer's mother. Okay. She is a woman in STEM and she is. Which I know what that means. Good for you, Bert. You know what that means? Good.

I always have and I always will. And you continue to know. That's amazing. I don't know the EM, I don't think. The way, science, technology, Einstein. Electro... Math. Did you say Einstein? Einstein? Oh no, not the German. You trapped No. Did you say Einstein? Einstein?

Oh no, not the German. You trapped me. I trapped you. I trapped you. I was a trap. That was a trap. Yes, she is a woman in STEM. She is working on a new way to measure molecules.

Oh good. Wonderful. We need that. What a relief that somebody's on a case. It keeps me up at night sometimes. Who's measuring those molecules? I remember hearing about the way we measure molecules and I think there's got to be a better way. There has to be a better way. She was like, I don't even want to do it, but there's got to be a better way. Oh, wow. She didn't even want to do it. But the old way was apparently so inefficient.

And does she live here or is she far away? She lives in Orange County, which is hours from here. Oh, for sure Very far away. Many hours from here. Many hours. Many, many hours. And what about Lisa? Lisa lives in Daytona Beach, which I am guessing also hours from here. Oh, absolutely. It absolutely is. You're guessing. You don't visit her?

Have you not ever left the city of Dignity Falls? I try my best to stay here. Okay. I try my best to stay here just in case anything should happen to my house. What could happen? What are you worried about? I just, you know, you hear those stories of going on vacation and then somebody squats in your house and I just simply don't want that to happen.

I don't. Well, that's if you're gone for a very long period of time. I mean, I think you'd take a week vacation to Daytona to see your daughter. I think it'd be fine. Really? You could have Sharon check your mail. Gosh, you know, I'm starting to think I'm afraid of the world. Well, I think you're afraid, period. You're afraid of something.

You do seem like a fear-based person. Yeah. And some people are fight and some people are flight. I've just never been that machismo kind of guy. Okay. Well, I don't, I always want to feel like we helped people out. If I can recap, I feel like it does happen a lot. But I feel like there's a couple things that are clear. I think you need to take danger out of Sam Cat's handle. I think you need to give us something vertical and positive. Vertical,

vertical, positive, VNP, VNP and merch. Merch, merch, merch, baby. Merch for Clumps, merch for Sam. Yeah, let's take this. I wouldn't merge them. Clumps doesn't need, we don't need a merch merge. Well, I could, that's a great idea. If I merged them, I could kill two birds with one stone. No, we're saying don't do that. Clump and Sam and Sam. Clump and Sam, help. Help me. No, no, help. Stop putting help in there. Danger, clump and Sam come to my house. Don't steal it.

That's on the danger again. Sometimes they just don't listen, I feel like. Sometimes they just can't hear. I think most of the time they don't listen. I mean, in this case, Alan might not be able to hear. Do you think he can hear us right now? I'm not sure. What?

Now, Alan, yeah, so I would do that. I would take the scary words out. I would maybe take a picture of Sam's feet and say, look at these beans, you know, that kind of thing. Look at these beans. Oh, did you say Sam's feet? Yeah, the cat paws. And the beans are paws.

Oh, that's cute. Cat always lands on its feet. I thought you meant like an OnlyFansFeet situation for Sam. Do you think there's a cat version of Wiki feed? There's no way there isn't. There's someone for everything. There's some, there's something for everyone. First the situations are created. Then somebody will like it.

Someone arrives. Somebody made a Wiki feed for God. If you build it, they will come. Somebody made a wiki for God to say, if you build it, they will come. This has been helpful. Sometimes it's just good to say all the problems in your life. So that they're organized. If you speak them into the existence, they're a little less scary. Oh, I'm happy that you feel that way. They're a little less, you know,

I've overextended myself with women. That's one problem. I can admit that. Oh, great. I think that's a big breakthrough. That's wonderful. Is it name it and shame it? Is that the saying?

Oh, no. Oh, yes, you can shame it. We don't want to shame anyone. You can shame me if you want. No, no, no. No, we don't want to shame you. We say you name your problems and then you say, kick them to the curb.

Shame. There you go. How about name it and change then you say, kick them to the curb. Shame. How about name it and change it? I like that better. I know there's a phrase that I can't quite get to it. You can't do something. Name it and shame it sounds really dangerous. Name it and maim it? Yeah.

That's cute. Name it and maim it. Yeah. Maim, maim, ouch. Yeah. Yes, ouch. I bet anyone who's been maimed probably says ouch. Probably go, I don't like this very much. Yes.

So I will not. So maybe a few less first dates. Maybe let them get the checkbooks in a while. Okay. I do love them. You know what? One thing at a time, Joan. I would say enjoy the first dates for now, but your immediate issue is to change the

online profile of Sam, your cat. Take the danger out of it. Put the fun back in. Yeah, I accept it. From this day forward, I will edit out any helps, any dangers, any SOSs, any I need assistance, any oh god come help me. Now if you need assistance, please say help or danger, but not online, not on social media. Because you don't want to be a boy who cried wolf, and then when you actually do need assistance, you're not getting it. Yes, I not online, not on the social media. Because you don't want to be a boy who cried wolf. And then when you actually do need assistance, you're not getting it.

Yes. I did get a wellness check once where this happened to me. Oh. Where I posted a picture of my cat. I said, help. Five men from the lower case help from the police department came and they said, knock, knock, knock. Are you okay?

Five men for a lower case help with a period like fun. You know, I don't think they have a lot to do in this town. That is true. Oh yeah. I think I mean, and the police, we all know that it's, we have a lot to do in this town. That is true. Oh yeah. I think they, I think, I mean, and the police, we all know that it's, we have a tithing, either, they either don't come at all or they all come at the same time to the house. They're not allocating the resources.

They're fighting to knock the door. That's right. Yes. They get that battering ram out all the time. Yeah, for no reason. What, what would you like to say to anybody about, if anyone's listening to it and they want to follow Sam Cat? Just maybe one, think of this as a free commercial, you know?

So let's see if we can turn a new leaf for you here. So what would you say? Sell Sam. That's very, very generous. Thank you. Okay, go for it. Sam, okay. So first of all, okay, let me stand up and I'll sit back down.

Okay. That's fine. Let me stand up and I'll sit back. Okay. Pace, Mike are off commercial. Okay. I'll put it back on. Thank you. Here we go. Commercial. Should you be able to control those outside your body? Maybe mine, mine works like a watch, but a watch, but maybe I have a different one. Okay. Maybe I have a different kind. Okay, commercial. Okay. Let me stand back up and I'll sit back down and I'll present.

All right. Okay. Here I am. Commercial. Hello, members of Dignity Falls. Hello, community. Okay. I have a cat. He does not need help. Okay. He is not in danger. There is nothing of immediate

concern with the cat. However, I would be appreciative if you would go look at the cat's page. While you're there, throw him a like, throw him a comment, throw him a share. Again, he is not in any danger. He is fine. The cat is safe. Please follow the cat. It is imperative, but not dangerous. The cat has funny paws and a delightful smile. Oh, and cut. That was fabulous. Perfect. No notes. Funny paws and a delightful smile.

Absolutely. It's a good name for this episode. You think that was the right length? I mean, it's cuttable. Okay. It's cuttable. It's cuttable. You did a cuttable.

Oh, God. It's cuttable, it's cliptable. You did a cuttable. Oh, God. It's cuttable, it's clippable. As long as there's a clip in there. There sure is a clip in there. If it's nameable, it's fixable. It's something like that. If it's cuttable, it's clippable. Yeah, if it's cuttable, it's clippable.

If it's, yes. Wow. Well, we wish you best of luck and we wish Sam the best of luck. Yes, and Elmer. And I will follow. And Lisa and Elmer. And Elmer and Lisa and Meredith, yes.

And thank her for measuring the molecules again. Please do. Yes, please. On behalf of our podcast, please. Thank her for measuring the molecules. What are we gonna do without her? I'll pass along my thanks. I feel like you could just eyeball it.

All right, Alan, thank you so much for being here. More When the Neighbor Listen returns. ["When the Neighbor Listen"] Hello, this is Erica. I have a Caltech baseball cap. It's new with tags. I was asking $30 for it, but I guess people are too stupid in this town to know a great deal when they see it. So it's $10. Are you happy, you pigs? It's a Caltech baseball cap. It's new with tags. It's black with orange lettering. Halloween much? Makes a great gift!

New! Caltech baseball cap, new tags for $10 but you can't get it for this at Caltech $10 you're telling me you don't know anyone in your life that would love this gift you don't but you don't have to go to Caltech or even know someone who goes to Caltech to wear a Caltech baseball cap, okay? It's not stolen valor if that's what you're worried about. So ten dollars. I mean, that's as close to free as you can get for a great gift like this. It's black with orange lettering.

Can you not see the picture? God, I hate dignity falls. Welcome back to the neighborhood. Listen, wow. Alan, I don't know if we've ever had someone so anxious and upset and scared. Yeah. Yeah. It just really wound up. Yeah. Really, really wound up. Alan was at an 11 the entire time. 100%. Yeah.

And you know, I worry about him a little bit, but hopefully, hopefully, maybe, listen, maybe the cat influencing will just take off and become rich and famous. Hey, maybe it will, absolutely. You never know. Yeah. There's no rhyme or reason to it, anyways. Why don't we say that about all of our guests? We should, we should say rich and famous. Absolutely. You never know.

There's no rhyme or reason to it. Anyways, it can happen. Why don't we say that about all of our guests? We should. You know what? You never know what's going to happen. They could become rich and famous. Maybe they'll all become rich and famous.

Yeah. Oh. What's that, babe? Oh, he's trying to play a record. Oh, I was just listening to Huey Lewis over here. My god, it sounded like the ceiling was caving in. Yeah, I thought there was a roaring fire. It sounds like lava.

Oh, man. Sounds like lava. You would know. Yeah, I would. You know, all these records. Is this record blank or is there music that happens? No, they're just so severely warped. I see.

It sounds like you're playing on a gigantic record player. Yeah. It is, it's like a big, it's like a pizza stone. So they're severely warped, how much are you gonna be selling that one for though? This one's gonna be bargain bin, I think. Okay, great. But I think a lot of them are like this.

I might have to straighten them out, get my vice out. Your vice. Yes. Is that gonna, I mean, will that- Is that how that works? Is that what's best? Well, to straighten things out. Is that what's best, Doug?

I never know what's best. You know what, ask the question. You don't know what's best. It's good enough. You never know what's best. Don't let the perfect get in the way of the good. There it is. There it is. Wow.

Get my Miami vice out here. Half a loaf is better than none. Miami vice. I ordered it from Miami so I could say that. You ordered what from Miami? My Miami vice. Okay. Oh my God.

Even I didn't see that one coming, babe. All right. We're just going to do one last post here. I just thought that this, listen, sometimes these, sometimes these things come across my phone. Your transom. And this person just wanted to talk. Okay.

I think, but this is about a cat. We got a picture of a cat right here. Apropos. This is the picture of the cat. That's a funny cat. It is a funny cat. And Trisha has decided to write a whole monologue about this cat. It says, this is my cat. He is an a-hole of the highest order.

Do not let that adorable, fuzzy little face deceive you. Behind those big innocent eyes lies a creature with the heart of a grumpy old man who just wants everyone off his lawn. He plays it cool, but don't be fooled. He does not cuddle, no warm snuggles, no aww he loves me moments, just a cold hard reality check that I am a humble servant in his kingdom. His top priorities in life eat, poop, sleep, repeat, love and affection. That's a PFFT, not in his contract. Sometimes he hisses at me for existing. Other times he stares at me with the deadpan expression that practically says,

pet me, but only with your eyes, peasant. Trisha's getting on my nerves. And if I dare to reach out, betrayal, instant betrayal. And yet here I am fully committed to this furry tyrant because no matter how much of a little menace he is, I could never imagine giving him away. He's not just a petty's family, a tiny ungrateful, evil little family could never imagine giving him away. He's not just a petty's family, a tiny, ungrateful,

evil little family member. I love him anyway. Now I will say that's very good for a junior monologue. Like if you're trying to get into a performing arts high school, that could be a fun monologue. You could do it as very dramatic. Sure. You could do that or you could make it comedic.

Other than that, this poster of no purpose. It's a complete waste of time. Very upsetting. Yeah. I wish that hadn't happened. And there's a complete waste of time. It makes me very upset. Very upsetting. Yeah. I wish that hadn't happened and there's no taking it back now. I miss Bananas. We can read another one if that one really made you mad.

I saw Bananas again. You did? Yes. Bananas is still missing. Bananas is the pedestrian corn households. A missing cat. He's a beautiful yellow cat. Bananas corn is his full name, especially because of the fact that he's yellow like

corn as well. So Doug tacked on the last family name to his name, because it makes sense. Bananas Corn. That's right. Bananas Corn. Bananas Corn. They had that at the first Thanksgiving. They sure did. And he has been missing for a long time, but I have been seeing him around town. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. In a creepy time, but I have been seeing him around town. Wow. Yeah. In a creepy way, like.

There was one night where I woke up in the middle of the night and Bananas was in my face. What? You mean since he's been missing? Well, that's crazy. There was one night, yes. Wait, but you didn't tell me this. And where were you?

Exactly, I was sleeping right next to him, I should hope. Yeah, she was sleeping face down. I always sleep face down. Also, I couldn't say anything. Face down. I have a massage chair situation on my side. She's sleeping with a face hole cut out. Did you never know I slept out? I didn't know that.

It's supposedly good for the vocal cords. I remember you mentioning one time that you slept face down. Yeah, but you didn't take me literally. I thought, well, I did. And I thought, well, she's got to figure it out. Oh, you thought that I meant it was a problem. I thought when I heard that, I thought, well, that doesn't seem safe. But then I thought, Jo must know what she's doing.

She's still here. I appreciate that. I appreciate you gave me that. Absolutely. Yeah. How do you sleep again? I mean, I know you used to have a Murphy bed situation, but we've done away with that for a long time because Gabby's not going to put up with that.

Since the Murphy bed was broken, as you recall, I got used to sleeping that way. And so I have to put a bunch of pillows under my lower body to simulate being at an angle. How many are we talking? How many pillows are we talking? It's like a dozen. Wow. Various sizes. So it builds up into a winch. Let's get another mattress. Well, but I, you know, for Gabby, you know, pretty soon, how does that work? She calls next to you with 12 pillows. No, the pillows are just on my side. You can use some, they're not going to stay on there on your side. No, they do. I'm perfectly still. Oh, because the Murphy bed was a single. I didn't have a lot of room to. Okay. So you really sleep almost like an upright vampire. Almost. Not quite. Okay. I'm not quite. Let's not get carried away. Okay. To the 90 degree angle. Not quite 90. Okay. So not quite. Let's not get carried away. Perpendicular. Okay. To the floor. You're like 90 degree angle?

Not quite 90. Okay. 45? Like a good 75. Okay. 75 degree angle. And you know, we get the pillows out and- No acid reflux for you.

Gabby calls, no I'm taken. And Gabby, Gabby calls it the ritual. It's time for the ritual. And then we pile up all the pillows. You know, it's funny because it's usually the man that's complaining about all the women's pillows, you know, that they have to take off the bed. And Gabby says that every single time.

She does? Every single time. Every single time. Does that get tired? You know, it's like one of those things where it started out funny and then it got tedious, and then it became funny again, then it became tedious again. Now it's on the upswing and it's funny to me again.

You could use the Kardashian shims for that. Oh, that's a very good point. I thought about that, but they're not very durable. They really fall apart. Of course they do. When you really get to it, there's nothing there. And they're terrible for the environment. There's no substance.

Well, I do want to ask you about what you were having a real, a terrible physical reaction to in the beginning, but we'll save it for the next episode. But had to do with Gabby, and I don't want to get into it right now, but just know that I'm going to ask you at the next episode, okay? And we will get to that Meet Joe Black clip.

Oh yeah, that's right. You need to show it to me. Should we do a watch along? Oh no. Of the Meet Joe Black clip? That actually, of just the Joe Black clip? Just the clip. Okay.

Okay. I mean, it's on YouTube. Everyone can access it. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, maybe I have seen it, I'm just forgetting it. I asked if someone gets hit by a car, and you didn't answer me. You would know if you had seen this.

Okay. There would be no doubt in your mind. But wait, does someone get hit by a car? It's best we don't talk about it. Wait, but is that my, but am I blind? Am I close? Joan? Why would close? Joan? Why would you tell me?

Save it for the watch-along. Okay. Save it for the watch-along. We need your unvarnished reaction. We're also gonna need some time to end filler. Yeah, cause just a clip. Yeah, we'll do, we'll do. Why can't we watch the whole movie?

I've not seen the movie. Cause it's bad. See, this is why I avoided it all the time. And you know what? I've never seen it. You haven't? No. You've just seen the clip. Because it's bad. Oh, see? This is why I avoided it all the time. And you know what? I've never seen it. You haven't? No. You've just seen the clip.

I've, now I can't remember. Oh boy. I feel like I, I can't remember. Oh my gosh. I mean, that right there should tell you something. I guess it should. Yeah. All right.

Well, I guess that's it for us right now. It is. At the moment, but welcome to season, we still don't have a name. No. Maybe it should be a lady's name. Season great. Season Susan. How about season Susan? Season Susan. I like that I like what is there an E name? I said season. Great. That's very positive.

Sure. It's a little kindergarten though. Maybe that's Susan. I like, yeah. It's a, oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's um, well it's one of the clocks from our clock room. We don't want to bring it back to the future again. Are you spreading them out now? Yes, spreading them out now. Mm-hmm. That's good, because then you can find out what time it is. You don't have to go to a room. All right, well, that does it for this episode

of The Neighborhood Listen. We'll be back next week. And until then, goodbye. And bye. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed. The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me,

Paul F. Tompkins. And me, Nicole Parker. And me, Brett Morris. This episode's guest was played by Kylie Braikman. The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang World. Go to CBBWorld.com to unlock the entire history of the show, ad-free, as well as brand new full-length bonus room episodes, exclusive to Maximus subscribers.

Your support keeps the show going.