The Neighborhood Listen - He Ain't Heavy, He's My Neighbor with Ify Nwadiwe

Episode Date: April 11, 2022

Joan + Doug share their kids' suggestions for their ongoing home renovations while Burnt reminisces about the time Dignity Falls hosted the Olympics. Plus, Charleston (Ify Nwadiwe), a most unusual neighbor, addresses false allegations made against him on NeighborhApp.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Look out, Canadian listeners, this one's for you. Coho is a mastercard with an easy-to-use app that makes managing your finances easier. Coho lets you earn cash back, borrow, build your credit history, and so much more. Join over 1 million Canadians and sign up for your free trial today. Download Coho on Google or App Store today or koho.ca for more details. Plus, for any basketball fans out there, get a $75 e-gift card for nbastore.ca when you sign up with the promo code koho75. That's code koho75. Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website.

Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. Knock, knock. Who's there? Your neighbor. Good. In Dignity Falls, you're never alone.

You've got the NeighborHalf app and us. Burn. And Joan. From coyotes to mail theft to weird things to sell. We'll cover it all and meet new neighbors as well. We'll chat about any posts you're missing. So just tune in to the Neighborhood Listen. Hello and welcome once again to The Neighborhood Listen. This is the podcast that explores the neighborhood of Dignity Falls via posts on the social networking application, The NeighborHap.

I am one of your neighbors in Dignity Falls. My name is BurntMeAPayDay. And hello, I'm another neighbor of yours. My name is Joan Pedestrian. Joan, hello to you. It's so lovely to see you again as always. Oh, I feel the exact same way. I really do. Your face and your voice is a balm to me. Well, that, that no one's ever said that to me before. And that is, no, no. Well, I mean, that's a very specific thing to say. Okay. But wouldn't that be weird if like, oh yeah, people say that to me a lot. I guess specifically people don't say balm.

They don't walk around saying balm all the time. Maybe you do. You're a pharmacist. True. I like to say balm. I like to say salve. I like to say tincture. That's my favorite.

Tincture is great. And people don't like to hear it. They don't like it. It sounds vaguely obscene to people. Yes, I guess it does. But it's not at all. It's not at all.

I just thought about it. Yeah, if you told my twins that name, that word, they would. Yeah, they did. They take it and run with it. And in all the places you don't want to go. Matt and Jardo. Yep, that's right. Matt and Jardo.

Yep. And and what are they up to these days? Oh, boy. They have decided to. Well, they've been doing uber eats for sustenance or as a job that's a job uh and uh because they don't they don't like to go anywhere they don't like to get out of the house this generation now you know i mean they don't get out of the house these kids they just want to stay inside you can just hang out with your friends online you can play games online right you have to just kick them out of the house,

get them to do things. And they were always ordering Uber Eats, you know? And I was, they were like, well, we don't have any more money for it. And I said, why don't you work for Uber Eats? So it's sort of a, you know, it's sort of a cyclical situation where they're just, they order it

or they're delivering it or they order it or they're delivering it. It's like Charlie inheriting the chocolate factory from Willy Wonka. In a way, yes. They also, so then, and then they, so they do it together is the thing. They, they, they, one ride, they do a ride along. So one rides in the front and, and he's the, he's the talk man, right?

So whoever's not driving, that's right. That's what they called it. They were so excited. They're like, mom, we have this great idea. I'm going to be the talk man. I didn't have the heart to tell them. It doesn't roll off the tongue and it doesn't sound catchy at all. What are the talk man's responsibilities?

Just to ask the questions that normally the driver does, you know, but what the reason why they decided, you know, when you get an Uber and it's like, where are you from? Sometimes you get a talkative Uber drivers. Sometimes you don't.

Well, and they don't have very good social skills. You seem confused. Now, have you ever taken an Uber, Bert, because I know you ride your bike everywhere

and I can't see you wanting to get into a stranger's car. I mean, there are some places where, you know, it's too far to bike, certainly, but I do like to check out

stranger's cars from time to time because of my investigations. But let me ask you this. Your ongoing pre-criminal investigations. Your pre-hog investigations. That's exactly right. Red ball.

Let me ask you this, because my confusion stemmed from not that I didn't understand the Uber system, but that Uber Eats. I thought Uber Eats was they brought food to you. Not that they took you to food. Oh, that's right. I forgot that part. Yes. That is what they do.

That's what they do. Now they thought, what if we combined Uber and Uber eats? I'm not sure they're allowed to do it to be perfectly honest. They're just kind of doing this on their own. Probably not. Are they not affiliated with, let me guess. They affiliated with uber or uber eats in any way uh well here's the thing they they they no they're not uh but you know what the one thing the twins

are good at is uh they're very good developing oh yes so another thing. So what they've done, they just have sort of a wide, they have a wide reach on Instagram. They're not TikTokers. They weirdly, they're a wide reach on Facebook. They love Facebook. The twins love Facebook. Very strange generationally. Really? That is odd.

Love it. And so they do it through Facebook. So they sort of have this little, they have a little business that they're sort of running. They have a little Facebook page. And if you need a ride somewhere and you want food, they say, well, we'll pick you up and we'll take you to get the food. And also, if you need to go someplace else, we'll take you there. And so you might be with this person for a whole day of errands, really. They're trying to cover a bunch of different services.

They're trying to do it all at the same time. And they realize that it was best to do it together. One person drives, the other person talks. Because Jardo kept driving and he couldn't talk and drive. He kept on taking the wrong exits and driving down the one-way streets the wrong way. And so they realized that if they joined together, they would have a better chance. So Matt drives completely silently. And then Jardo is asking all the questions.

Yes, completely silently. I keep telling him he's got to say something because it's a little creepy. And they're using Doug's power cables. They're using the Ford Explorer that Doug restored. Oh, that's right. Did you find you finally did restore that Ford Explorer? It was in the garage for forever, but he was

able to get it done in the last year and a half. It runs. Sufficiently restored. The tape deck doesn't work. So your goal was not to restore it to pristine condition but just to restore it to the point where it was serviceable yes where it can it can last for a couple miles a couple miles and then what happens then they call me i go pick them up toe okay toe the floor explorer joan did establish that there are some people that could be spending the entire day with the twins in the car. So are you not telling me something, babe? Because I thought this was going

well. Are you telling me that they break down every single day? Yeah, I would say it's going well, though. I didn't say it's not going. How is that going well? So someone's on their way to pick up something or food or someone and then they get waylaid because the car breaks down. Then they have to wait for a tow truck. How come you guys didn't tell me this? I could have fixed this. They could borrow my car. You can restore a Ford Explorer to pristine condition.

That is absolutely not what I said. I've reached my ceiling. Now that. I was pretty proud of where I was at Babe, just work it out with the two of them We have a couple cars between all of us in this family We could just switch I'm not really driving a whole lot right now

I can drive the Explorer Although I don't really want to if it's only going to go a mile That seems like a ridiculous, absurd thing to do Let me ask you this Doug, if, if, if the, if the Explorer breaks down after a couple of miles and the twins then need a tow, what is your role in all of this? Just sort of moral support. I support them getting out of the house. I love seeing the Ford Explorer being used. I think he may be meant for the customers,

babe. I think he meant for the customers babe i think you meant for the customers you go to where they are and then something happens i don't interface with the customers at all that's their job okay that's not what i asked oh boy i'm not sure what you're asking you know why you know the problem no i'm just gonna cut you off right there today doug is in for those of you don't know d Doug my husband who's our engineer he sits in different rooms every time he's in our synodome

well we made you know how like the cool we kind of padded it off of that you know the cool the cool synodome in isn't that what it's called in LA in Los Angeles? I would not be surprised if Los Angeles

had something called the Cine Dome. Well, I thought it was called that. Anyways, there's also, it was a place, they also had one sort of like this in Disneyland at one point where you go in, it's sort of a dome ceiling and there's a whole screen. There's a whole, the whole ceiling is a screen and you can put up starlight and you can put up,

or you can put up a concert. Well, like a planetarium, yes. Yes, like a planetarium. And so I thought that'd be really fun to do. And I don't know what, but if he's in there recording, there's no way he's paying attention completely because I bet you he's watching whatever he's put on.

What is on the screen, babe? I have YouTube videos just surrounding me. Did you say YouTube or YouTube? It could be either. YouTube videos of surrounding me. Did you say YouTube or YouTube? It could be either. YouTube videos of YouTube. Of YouTube. Like someone hiding in a trash can and surprising them. Yes.

Yeah. Just when people pranked you too. Yeah. But there's many. There's Bono unboxing videos. Right. There's the Edge tutorials. Of the guitar, presumably.

Sometimes. Recipes. So that's the problem. He's very distracted right now. That is of all the things to project in a planetarium. I know. It does seem like a waste. What's the advantage to being surrounded by it above you and just watching that on the phone, you know, as opposed to watching a nature show or putting up the planets, putting up the stars?

We're asking you, babe. Let me tell you something. No greater nap than a planetarium nap. When they start, they start projecting those stars and planets and then they're talking about the gaseous nature of this heavenly body or the rings of that one. Oh, you just drift away. You just go right to sleep. Oh, it's very womb-like. Well, that was the problem.

I kept falling asleep when I tried. Understood. So you need to keep yourself awake. Right. It's actually much more entertaining. Or you could just not put anything up while we're working. Well, you, I keep yourself awake. Right. It's actually much more entertaining. Or you could just not put anything up while we're working. Well, I mean, yes, exactly. I would say the goal is not for you to be entertained while we're doing this. It's for you to make sure that the sound is recorded properly and the

levels are as they should be. The levels are beautiful. One of the screens is the little level meter. How small are the screens? How small? I didn't know you had that capability, by the way, to just project it. It's just a ton of different little screens? It's about five or six little screens. I'm so confused. I wasn't part of the construction of this room.

I'll have you know, Bernd. Surrounding me, though, it's full immersive. It's full immersion. I just gave him the assignment and he had some people come in and I don't know. I was never in there. You gave him the assignment to build the synodome.

I did. That's what's missing in a lot of this. He said he was bored one day. He's like, what should we do with this room? I said, synodome. Let me ask you, is this the way that all the additions to your home are created? Oh, no, I'm very involved in some of them. And some of them I DIY.

Some of them, totally me. Is that so? You've built some of these additions. The linen closet was all me. So not just your idea, but also the execution. Correct. I see. Yeah.

So, I mean, you know. Do the kids ever weigh in? I don't run around ordering everybody around burnt, if that's what you meant. Joan, of course that's not. It seemed like this specific instance, it seemed like you definitely did order Doug to build a synodome.

I did not mean to imply that's the way. I was curious as to how it always works. And let me say, do the kids ever suggest rooms? Well, yes. They all wanted panic rooms for themselves. Individual panic rooms. They wanted individual panic rooms. Right.

And I just said, we don't have the, well, we don't, I was going to say we don't have the room, but then I knew they were going to make fun of me. But, but I just thought that that didn't make any sense. Also, I just don't like the idea of allowing a teenage girl to have a room where she could lock herself in. She'd never come out, you know, the days that she's in a bad mood after a breakup. I need to be able to get to them. You know what I mean? Yeah, gotta get up.

And the twins would just lock themselves in and start a fire and then we'll then... Exactly. Talk about panic. I mean, no kidding. The panic room is not supposed to create a panic. It's supposed to be a shelter front. That's right.

Yes. Not... Yes. Although I guess you could joke on Sundays, we could just put the twins in one panic room and we'd be safe. You know what I mean? I do know what you mean. They're,

they're very scary and violent. It's really, we don't take it as seriously as we should on this podcast, but perhaps we don't. Perhaps we don't. This isn't the time or the place. No, that's a different podcast, it's not.

That's a different podcast. That's right. I have to say that, you know, I've been wanting to get my hands on your apartment. There's a couple little spaces. There's a little corner I feel like would be great for a nook. If you would just let me, I have some great ideas. Well, you know, I appreciate that, Joan. And, of course, I think that you have a wonderful eye

and you're very creative and you know, obviously you're giving your home, you know what to do with spaces. The only reason I hesitate to let you into my apartment is that I don't know if it will cause some lasting psychic damage. I'm used to it. I'm used to being in there

and the way it looks and how I live. But for others, I just don't know what the effect will be. Well, you know, I've seen it. I've seen it once or twice. I've dropped off some things a couple of times over the last few years.

I have seen that some of the ceiling's exposed. I've seen that the floor's just cement. Yes. That's correct. You know, I've heard that sound, which really just sounds like the wind just ripping through the whole entire space. Yes, absolutely.

I don't know where that comes from. There is a draft. Well, that would be the first thing I would do is find out where that draft comes from. It's just a howling wind. It's howling. It's like a banshee sound. Absolutely.

It's real otherworldly. But it's just white noise to me now. Sure, of course. Sure. So I kind of know. I wouldn't say that just any person, you know, it takes a strong character to get in there. But I know you, first of all, and I know a little bit about it. What you say does make me give pause a little,

but you're not, listen, I'm a realtor. I have gone through some rough places. I've seen some full demolitions. I've seen some great, I've seen houses get turned around so quick and you would never believe it. So I know what some, you know, marble and quartz and a throw pillow

and a lick of paint can do. I've seen it. I guess it's because I'm renting. I never really considered. It is a problem that you're, yeah, that's tough that you're renting. I'm surprised. What does the landlord say?

Tell me about your landlord and does he or she ever try to get in there and are they aware of what it looks like? I don't know that the landlord is still with us. It's been a very long time since anyone has seen him. His name was Mr. Krantz and he was elderly when I moved in there years ago. You know, I've lived in this department since i was 19 and and uh uh and i he used to oh mr kranz would it would he would he would come and collect the rent uh from each each tenant in

the in the building and um he would always and when he would he would walk out the door and he would turn around and say not long for me now and and then, you know, one month he just wasn't there and nobody noticed for a few months, you know, because he wouldn't say much. He would just show up, you would give him the check and then he would leave, turn around and say, not long for me now. Every time, every single time. Every single time. And, and I, you know, after a while I was thinking, I guess he was right. You know, that, that he, he, and we, we, you know, we, I just have a stack of, I guess I've been living rent free for quite some time.

No one has come in to, to take his place. No, no one. We never got a notification of anyone taking ownership of the building. This is unheard of. This is wild. Especially given our realty situation in these times. Sure. No one has swooped in and taken a look at what's going on in that apartment building.

It's surprising, but yeah, I have a stack of checks just next to the door. I mean, some have been carried off by the wind, but there's still a substantial amount of checks just waiting for Mr. Krantz to show up and take them and tell me that soon he will be dead. That is bizarre.

Well, listen, it's- That's dignity will be dead. That is bizarre. Well, listen, it's dignity falls for it. Dignity falls for it. That's what it, that's what it's for. Those of you that don't know when you're leaving the town, there's a big billboard and,

and there it's at old. When you're, yes, that's right. When you're leaving, when you're leaving the neighborhood of dignity falls there's a big sign that says it's a bear it's a bear shrugging they're both shrugging there's the opposite of the signs when you walk in they're waving

when you come in they're waving and then when you're leaving they're shrugging it's the first time welcome to dignity falls And then when you're leaving, they're shrugging. Yes. So first time, welcome to Dignity Falls. Welcome to Dignity Falls. Yeah. Dignity Falls for you. Dignity Falls for you. That's right. And what's funny is like in the sign where you enter,

they're waving, but also they're about to clash in battle. Yes, yes. Right. I mean, in the billboard, you're talking about the prospector and the bear about to clash. Yes, the prospector has a pickaxe. The bear, on the end, in the billboard, you're talking about the prospector and the bear about to cross together. The prospector has a pickaxe. The bear has, of course, a clause extended.

And they are somehow charging at each other, but also waving to you. Yeah, they're like, well, we're not going to, we're going to stop to be courteous and welcoming, you know, but we're going to get to this issue between us. It very much has a, oh, I didn't see you there vibe. Well, that's right. And I appreciate that.

And then at the end, you know, when they say that's false for you. So, you know, like the prospect didn't see you there vibe. That's right. And I appreciate that. And then at the end, you know, when they say that's false. So, you know, like the prospector is missing a few teeth. The bear is horribly bloodied. That's right. And he's got a big slit in his belly and his guts are falling out. That's right. But still taking the time to shrug.

And let you know, that's like, look at all they're saying is, hey, that's life. You get ups and downs. This town has had ups and downs and you're going to see it all. Yes. You're going to see it all. So that's just a little fun fact. I blame the Olympics.

Remember when the Olympics were here? Oh. It just, the town has never been the same since then. What year was that? 19. Yeah, that? 19. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, we really botched that.

It was really bad. The Olympics is just a poisonous event. Well, there was just no prep. You know, we were not prepared. There was zero prep. They really, yes. The first problem was they tried to do the summer and winter Olympics. Yes. At the same time. They really, yes. The town fathers. They said they had, because the first problem was they tried to do the summer and winter Olympics.

Yes, at the same time. At the same time. Yes, they were switching off the fence. Yes. Here's the thing that I resent the most. I remember when the Olympics were coming and there was no preparation being done. And I remember the mayor at the time,

it was Johnny Rodson. Johnny Rodson, Gillicuddy. Yes, it was. Oh, Gilakati. Gilakati. Johnny Rodson Gilakati. Johnny Rodson Gilakati. And people were saying, Mayor Gilakati, what what what are you doing to prepare for the Olympics? And he kept saying the Olympics takes care of itself. Which I can't think of a of a less true statement. It's absolutely bananas that he

was saying that and everyone was saying what are you talking about? And he would say it in a variety of ways. Well, because he had that voice. It was, yeah, people would talk about it. We don't have many recordings of it, but it went out. It was sort of like the mayor of Munchkin City is what he sounded like. That's right. People loved it.

They loved to hear him talk. They would ask him questions just to hear him talk. Mr. Mayor, what did you have for lunch today? I had a real space sandwich. See, Bert can do it really good. Oh, yeah. I haven't thought about Mayor Gillicuddy's voice in a very long time. No, he was. It was a

miracle that he was our mayor. Why did people vote for him? He was terrible. And it was just such a mess. I mean, honestly, just from the passing of the torch, you know, the torch came through town, and it started a forest fire. It started a forest fire. I like that the long jump went over the town, though.

I supported that. That seemed too long to me. No one could, I mean, you know, people just, they had a landing patch on the other side of town and no one reached it and it was just a patch it was not rated for safety it was like a patch that you'd find in the just dirt and

loose rocks it was still there that's the and weirdly that's the only that's our Memorial Olympic Park is the patch so they even botched the post Olympic ceremony. That's all we have. Do you remember when Mayor Gillicuddy escaped from jail?

Oh, well, yes, I do. I mean, this is, again, we have a lot of lore in Dignity Falls.

Yes. And it's one of the things that we like to do once a year. There's always a sort of, what do they call it, a panto? The British people call it a panto. I'll take your word for it. A pantomime. You know, it's the thing when there's villains and the audience says, boo, and the heroes go, yay, for the audience.

You're allowed to boo hiss at the actors, is what I'm saying. I could never do it. I've been asked to participate in it every single year and I don't do it. But they always do a recreation of him escaping from jail. So it's become a long, tall tale. You know, like I think once it was, you know, that he used a small pickaxe. And then once it was that he used, you know, he held a beaver and the beaver helped him gnaw his way out.

And I can't remember what it was last year. I think it was that he somehow passed through walls and they made him sort of a ghostly figure. It's yeah. Yeah. A lot of stories about him. And, you know, of course, on Halloween, everyone says they see him and, you know, that he'll show up in the window. If you say Mary Gillycutty three times in the mirror, he appears and take some graft. And, you know, he's just I mean, I will say that it was foolish to build our jail out of wood.

It was it was foolish. Yeah. Well, we that's again, but that was under his his mayorship. Oh, he must have never fixed it. He must have known. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We didn't have a deal before that. And we haven't had one since. Well, needless to say, this town needs some work, but Hey, maybe we could build a jail.

They fall for you. Maybe what? Maybe we could build a jail in the house. Well, now that's not a bad idea. I mean, I was going to, of course,

many of Doug's suggestions. I completely shoot down, but I was going to say that actually given, given the nature of, of your twins, this one makes sense. It does sound like a good idea.

He sounds so excited. All right, well, I'll decide if I want to order Doug to do it, but we should take a break first. No, you admit it.

No, oh no, that was not an admission. We'll take a break and we'll be back with more of The Neighborhood Listen. Hi neighbors, I'm Robert. hi neighbors i'm robert call me bugs new transplant to the neighborhood hailing from lois side nyc i'm a musician looking for other musicians of course all things progressive

no wave hardcore doo-wop r R&R, whatever. I just need to play. And welcome back to The Neighborhood Listen. And as always, we have a guest with us. What we do is we comb the neighbor hat for posts. And if we find something interesting, then we try to get that person to come in. And this one, I don't know what happened. I don't know where the guest is. They said they would be here, but I have not seen them yet.

But let's hope that... Oh, I'm getting a text. They're right outside. Okay. So why don't they said to go ahead. So we'll just read. Yeah. And then maybe they're running late.

Okay, great. All right. This is a post from someone named Omega. That's a very interesting name. Wow. Wow. Okay. Omega posts a picture of just a big fat squirrel.

Oh, he is fat, isn't he? Well, not fat. He's big. He's big. He's big. He's a little chubby. He's very adorable. He is very...

Oh, he's very adorable. And the subject is, Squirrel friend, my tomatoes have been eaten every time just before I harvest. A big fat squirrel was always been spotted on my fence. Okay. My dog insists it his friend and he doesn't care for tomatoes anyway. So this time I put some raw cashew on my front yard and it worked.

I got a bunch of tomatoes and now he's my friend too. And the door is opening, but I do not see a person. And then, oh my. What? Wait. Oh, Burns. Look at this. Oh my goodness.

Wait. Is this happening? It's the fat squirrel from the photo. The fat squirrel? He jumped up on the kitchen island. Our guest? What? Yes, yes.

Whoa. Oh. What? Hello, Joan. Burnt. kitchen island our guest what yes yes uh hello joan burnt uh i've come uh i've come i've come to clear some things up well okay uh well this is remarkable it's unprecedented this is a big fat squirrel and he is uh i hope that's okay to say. We'll get into that. Oh, see, see. Okay. Well, I, you know, it's so funny when we were reading the post, I thought, oh, I don't want to be, I should, you know, you were saying don't call him fat.

You know, you're right. I'm willing to be corrected, but this is a, this is a squirrel and he is talking to us. That's happening. This is happening right now. Can I come see this squirrel? I've never intruded upon. This got pulled away from the YouTube.

Yeah, come on down. Oh, I can't. Come on down. Just make sure we're still recording. I thought Bernt banned me. No, I have not. I have. This is your home, Doug.

I have no authority over you here. You can you can do what you like and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm painfully aware. Doug, you're allowed to come down. Great. I've been there in half an hour. All right.

Let me, may I ask your name? Yes, your name. Yes. So I go by Charleston. Charleston. Yeah, yeah. Fine name. That's such a, yeah, it is a fine name.

Very dignified, very dignified name. Yes. And you see, it's so funny that this neighborhood is called dignity falls because i feel like i was robbed of my own what oh no yeah this post lots of accusations have been thrown around and and you know really just running me and and thew family name through the mud as we have, as I've read up. First off and foremost, I'm allergic to tomatoes. Okay. And I'm being accused of eating tomatoes.

Now, may I say, Charleston, and if I take this correctly, your full name is Charleston Chew. Yes. I took this post from Omega to be a sort of tongue-in-cheek thing uh not really angry at you for eating the tomatoes and and you know be being your friend and but you you take it a different way oh i take it i wouldn't have guessed that you felt like you were getting people coming at you i i i'm surprised i'm glad you came to clear it up because you're worried people are coming for your neck oh oh yeah i'm there There's an attempt to cancel me, Charleston.

There's an attempt on the app. They're trying to cancel me. They're saying I'm stealing tomatoes. I'm not. I'm allergic. I just go to visit my friend, you know, Barky. Oh, is that the dog? That's the dog.

Now, I want to know something. Is that the dog? Is that Omega's dog? Did Omega name her dog Barkie? This is my question, too. Dogs have their own names for themselves, and is it a different name? Well, it's not my place to speak on this, but I can confirm there is a different common name shared amongst dogs and animals. And then there's given names.

Oh, I'm going to have to have you talk to my dog, Escrow. I wonder what his given, I wonder what his chosen name is. Imagine, Bert, we're giving them names when really they want to be called something else. This reminds me of, of course, cats. That's what I was going to say. Oh, yes. Cats have several names, apparently. Is that true to life?

Is that movie exactly the way it is? That is, that is, that is based in truth. I will tell you what. I don't know if that playwright is a cat whisperer and spoke to one and got the direct. But that is everything said in that musical is true. Most importantly, cats are not dogs. But the movie specifically. Most importantly, cats are not dogs.

But you're saying that what is true of cats is also true of dogs? Yes, yes. True of cats and dogs. That's why they make a big point to say cats are not dogs. Right. Because there's a whole, you know, epilogue that wasn't attached to the actual musical that explains that all the rules that apply to the cats apply to dogs. And it's basically the whole musical over again,

but just with dogs instead of cats. Oh, wow. As a musical theater fan, this is really fun to know. Oh, I didn't know about this. And Bert, I have to say, is it just me? I have such ease now. I'm talking to a squirrel and it's like I've been talking to him for days. I feel the exact same way. Immediately I'm just squirrel and it's like I've been talking to him for days. I feel the exact same way.

Immediately I'm just in and it's not even weird anymore. I cannot believe that I've gotten used to it this quickly. I'm so used to it. I'm so used to it. I'm still making my way in. Are you on the walkie-talkie? I can hear him. Yep. He's very close now. I'll be there in a few minutes. Oh, you brought

all your equipment down? Okay. You'll be here in a few minutes. I'm lugging it, yeah. Okay, so Charleston, here's, okay. So you're allergic to, so what is it that you're, so you want to clear up that you're not eating tomatoes, you're not out to get everybody's tomatoes. Yeah, I feel like there's already a lot of animosity for squirrels. They think we're stealing things, you know.

They think we're coming around to eat on your plants. I like to just look at, walk around from tree to tree, observing the architecture. I like a good Spanish home. I like a good A-frame. You know, you just try to take it in. What do you feel about craftsmen? Do you like a craftsman? A craftsman is great.

Oh, I love a craftsman. Do you like Miss Century Modern? Oh, definitely. Modern Brutalist is definitely just screams, you know, screams at me. You know, Charleston, you bring up such a good point. It's kind of true, especially on our neighbor hap. Squirrels do tend to either be lifted up or torn down. You know, they're either shown as being adorable creatures or they're being attacked for, you know, something that they did.

You're like the Chrissy Teigen of NeighborHap. Oh, yes. And see, and that's the problem here is this belief. And, you know, a lot of people have been calling me fat. I've been bulking. I lift weights. All right. And that is also another reason I can't have tomatoes because I'm also on the keto diet.

And that kicked me right out. Tomatoes have a lot of sugar. They do. Yeah. One, one, one tomato. Now, can I ask when you work out, do you use tiny, adorable, like handmade weights or is there like a market for that? Or do you craft them out of something that you find in the forest, you know, like rocks and a twig. Yeah, I've, you know, I've created a sort of partnership with a few of the neighborhood skunks and raccoons

and the things they've acquired from the trash that have a little too much heft. Oh, sure, absolutely. You know, I either help them out or like, you know, we've found things like, you know, a yogurt cup and we'll fill it with dirt. And so I will use that as a lifting mechanism or a gallon of milk that might still have some light milk in there. I'll, you know,

toss that around, you know, get really try and work on the upper body strength. Is there a lot of societal pressure in the squirrel community to be bulked up? Where does this come from? in the squirrel community to be bulked up? Where does this come from? Oh, well, you know, I got to say, if we're on the subject, you know, of just how, you know, media and how it can affect you.

I think, you know, you see things like Rocky from Rocky and Bullwinkle. Just know I've been held to that standard my whole life. They've wanted me. Yeah, I'm not a gray squirrel. You know, I have dark brown notes and a nice hazelnut uh bottom and and so you know you don't get as much love but if i wore a cute little little aviator hat and ran around with a moose you know people would want to be more friendly to me can i ask charleston but but who who whom do you think is holding you to these standards i just feel like

the world i think i just see it i see it in people's eyes rocky in the media a lot then this is pushed yeah they're just like i wish i wish this was rocky i wish this wasn't a squirrel in my house i wish that was rocky from rocky and bullwinkle i missed that show it was very good i mean i i honestly i forget that Rocky is a squirrel because their heights are too close. I mean, even though Bullwinkle is much taller than Rocky, he's still not as tall as he should

be, considering their different species. I never thought about that. You're right. And moose are gigantic. They're huge. How about Alvin and the chipmunks, Charleston? Does that cause some problems for you? Especially, listen, since that's the the chipmunks, Charleston? Is that causing problems for you? Or, you know, especially, listen, since that's the only chipmunk voice I, sorry, not chipmunks. I didn't mean that, but I know chipmunks aren't the same, but that's like a, it's sort of in the same family, right?

Is that a problem for you? Actually, I just proved my point. Do people confuse you with the chipmunk? Is that a thing that happens? You get some slight confusion. You know, I don't mind. You know, it's like when, you know, if someone was like, oh, you look like Beyonce. You're like, well, that's not, you know, fine.

I feel like Alvin and chipmunk. That's a great representation. It's given us a chance, you know, us rodents to wear clothing, hats, monograms. Yes, I do have to say, we didn't even mention clothing, hats, monograms. Yes, I do have to say, we didn't even mention this, but he's got on an ascot. Yes. Today. Absolutely.

And that's why, that's why I'm very, the picture was taken without my consent. I'm not dressed. I'm not dressed. I'm standing and you could see in my eyes the anger I'm like oh how dare you I am not wearing clothes I took off my ascot to relax with Barky you know we like to relax

without our clothes you know we call it you know going natural and so we were sitting there we were talking and you know what I don't mean to be a gossip but I will be a gossip right now Barky has been the one eating up all those tomatoes

you know everyone thinks the dog is the best friend but it seems like the best fiend to me what a clever wordplay Charleston sorry I enjoyed it. That was good.

So when the cashews were laid out, the tomato eating stopped. Did Barky do this intentionally to throw suspicion onto you? Oh, 100%. Barky knew that it was because I told Barky, I was like, look, it's getting too hot over here. It seems like they think, and Barky tells me that he went ahead and insisted that we're friends and that I don't care for tomatoes. And this is how the cashew ordeal went down. But I was like, you need to come clean, Barky. My reputation is on the line. When they hear Charleston Chew, the first thing they'll think of is thievery.

So are you two in a feud at this moment you know we buried the hatchet the cashews definitely did you know butter me up as you do like a cashew i do like a cashew uh that that is a that is a keto break you know normally i wouldn't be able to have it but sure you know i'm taking breaks i do keto on and off you know off and on and so you know this is one of those breaks what's what's your favorite cheat day food yes i really wanted to know that too oh my favorite cheat day see like normally people see us and think we want fruits and nuts but yes i sure do like a skeleton of a fish with only the head and tail. When I pull one of those

out of a trash can, it is delectable. Well, then, since we're talking about busting through some of these animal stereotypes, you hang out with the skunks and the raccoons a lot because you have apparently a box. Is that what they call it when you work out? Well, that's CrossFit.

Doug listened to it for a little while. Oh, it's a co-op. Oh, you call it when you work out in a in a in a well that's crossfit and doug was into it for a little while they call it a co-op yeah you call it a co-op okay so uh and you know we always see raccoons also get a lot of attention on our neighborhood right you know as being the rap scallions that we know them to be they already look like burglars so are are we miss are we sort of mistaking raccoons and what their nature is? Or are they truly that way? Oh, no, you are 100% reading their nature correctly. Every time I'm hanging out with those raccoons, they're just staring at me.

They're like, I cannot wait for the day I can bite a human shin. They want to bite a shin so bad. Specifically a shin. Just the shin. And I'm like, you're harshing. You're harshing the vibes here of our co-op gym talking about shin biting. I,

you know, I lift for aesthetics. It seems like they lift for violence. To enact violence on a human shin. Oh yeah. Really? I mean, is this something that they are actively doing?

I don't feel that we've heard about a lot of shin bites. It's just garbage they're normally into. Yeah, it's the whole human shin being connected to the feet, which that kicks, that makes it very, you know, hard, but they feel like... Is this like a fetish thing for the raccoons? Ooh. You know...

Ooh la la. i haven't really investigated but that is possible all right i can't say i wouldn't be surprised charleston can i ask you are we the first uh humans that you you've revealed your your speaking voice to right burnt we really should be asking more questions like this i'm just talking to him like he's you know an old friend he was just a guy and then i was like no he's a squirrel he's a squirrel he must remember he's a squirrel. Yeah, yeah. You are the first, mostly because I wanted to clear this up and you have a platform which I can stop the attempted cancellation.

It is for everyone in the neighborhood. We never specified it. There's nothing in the rule book that says a squirrel lives in the neighborhood. Yeah, you just have to be a neighbor. You just have to be a neighbor. A squirrel lives in the neighborhood? Yeah, you just have to be a neighbor. And see, here's the thing is I tend to get afraid to speak because, you know, most of my English has been learned from watching the television shows outside of homes like The Crown or Game of Thrones or, you know, Doctor Who. or Game of Thrones or, you know, Doctor Who.

So, you know, so that's really where most of my, you know, language and vernacular comes from. And that, of course, explains your pronounced English accent. Yes. Dignity Falls has always had a strange, our proximity to, I can't remember which satellite, but we've always managed to get all the BBC channels in every person's home. You don't have to, it just comes on.

And so Doctor Who has been a favorite in homes for years. Yes, exactly. Oh, yes. It was good. Broad Church. Oh, Broad Church. You know, I didn't like Charleston. What'd you think of the third season?

To me, that was just too much. A Broad Church. Charleston. Oh, I... I... I blinked. I blinked. I blinked. I was in a stupor.

I was in a complete stupor. I wondered if maybe he stopped understanding me, you know, that maybe it's a certain point. Are you feeling all right? Are you okay? You know, I just really took me back. I was just going from home to home, looking in the TV. Can I get you something to eat if you want? I don't know if I have any raw cashews, but I think I have some almonds.

I'll take an almond. One will be fine. An almond. You're adorable. Okay, hang on a second. I get to feed a squirrel in my own home. You can pick some up. Where are you on the house now, Doug?

Are you running? Yeah, I'm coming as fast as I can. Oh, he's wearing his cargo shorts. He has so much shit in those pockets. But to answer your question, Broadchurch should have ended after season one. I feel like they had something good. Thank you. I agree.

I never thought that I could discuss Broadchurch for the squirrel and he would share my views. I agree. That's a strange phenomenon with these British I never thought that I could discuss Brochard for The Squirrel and he would share my views. I agree. Why was there? There's a, that's a strange phenomenon with these British crime shows where they have this one crime that's, you know,

goes through the whole season and then next season, like, we're back. Let's do it again. You're like, no, no, no, no, no. That was one story. That's done. That was fine.

Yes. And as much as I'd like a second season of Mayor of Easttown, Charleston, I don't know if you watched that through people's windows, but I've started a Mayor of Easttown musical on TikTok. And as much as I'd like a second season of Mayor of Easttown, Charleston, I don't know if you watch that through people's windows, but I've started a Mayor of Easttown musical on TikTok. And actually, I really need to put out a third song. I'm way behind. But I just think, well, the story's done, you know, like we already had the horrible death and all the things.

You're just going to do another one? I wonder. I have yet to see this mayor of Easttown, mostly because most of the houses I've been perusing the windows of lately have been stuck on reality TV like the Sexy Beast Show and The Circle, both of which do take place in Britain. Right, right. Is there anyone, Charleston, on Sexy Beast who's disguised as a squirrel? And if so, how do you feel about that? There was a golfer and I got excited because I was thinking you know

I would love to see you know the human perception of how one would romance as a squirrel such as me but that doesn't and there was no there was not enough references to animal etymology and romancing and courting methods.

It was just all, you know, regular human reality dating. Idiots in makeup. Let me ask you, Charleston, are you, are you, are you yourself married? Are you single? What's, what's your status? If we can ask. You know, I'm still, you know, prowling the branches, you know, seeing, seeing, keeping my options open. But, you know, I would like to settle down, you know, you know, not one of those fuck squirrels, you know, I'm just trying to find, uh, I'm trying to really be a one squirrel squirrel.

Right. Let me ask you this. That's so refreshing. Charleston, I mean, this is just, I feel like we could talk to Charleston for hours. I know, this is just, well, my. And let me ask, would you prefer that we not tell people that you can speak? You look.

Oh, right. Should we keep your secret? Well, I guess we can't. This is going to go out. I mean, we need the episode. Yeah, we do need the episode. But I've thought about this way before coming down here. The beauty of being Squirrel is that we all look the same.

That's true. So you'll be looking at a squirrel, looking in the tree, wondering if it's me, Charleston. But you'll never know. But you know who will? I will. You'll know you're you. You will know if someone. I will know that I am Charleston. But you're you. You will know if someone.

I'll know that I am Charleston. But you're looking at me. You won't know, but I'll know. You'll know you're you. You'll know that we know. Yes. But you won't know when someone else is looking at another squirrel that's not you. Yeah, that I'll be in the dark.

But when it's focused on me, I'll know. When you're present, you will know. I will know. All right. Boy, I hope Doug gets here before we have to see him. I know. Where is he? My God.

There's a lot of house to get through. It's true. Oh, there you are. Good lord. Where are you now, Doug? I'm right behind you. Sorry, you couldn't see. I saw him first before you.

Look, this is Charleston. This is a talking squirrel in our home. This is amazing. Hello. Oh, sorry. Here's your almond. Oh, thank you. You're welcome.

Here's some almonds. I hate to say this, but this is my favorite. I mean, it's weird. Does it bother? He's so cute. Does it bother you when humans are watching you eat? It is so adorable. Can you help looking?

Do you think you look adorable when you eat, or is it just weird to you that we think that? I'm a squirrel and a nascot. I am very aware of how cute I am, and I'm sort of an exhibitionist. On my own terms, not to be taking pictures of naked unconsensually and posted online. Of course. So an exhibitionist in what way then? In public eating or you mean you don't? In all of it.

I don't mind watching but once the photos and stuff comes on, you know, it's like it's like okay you know, that's a bit much. This is a shared moment. Let me ask you, you know, that's a bit much. I hear you. This is a shared moment. Let me ask you, Charleston, I'm asking this for a friend.

How do you feel about those little picnic benches that people set up? And they'll put some stuff out for a squirrel on the picnic bench, and then the squirrel will sit at the picnic bench like a human would sit at a regular-sized picnic bench. How do you feel about that? Is that something you enjoy, or is it something you find uh uh upsetting oh that's great because uh like i often often say uh buy me dinner first which you have with the uh with the small setup so uh so yeah you you're free you fed me you know you gave me crafty you know so you know lights camera services absolutely well i'm sure my friend was very reallyy, you know, lights, camera, action. Action services, absolutely.

Well, I'm sure my friend was very relieved. Well, Charleston, how do you know the terms of the entertainment industry so well? Well, you know, I am a squirrel with dreams. I suppose that squirrels end up in background shots all the time when I think about it. Yes, yes, yes. That's very true. Unpaid. Unpaid.

That's right. That's very true. Unpaid. Unpaid. That's right. So I'm, you know, I one would hope that one day I will make it, you know, make it to Hollywood. But I'm starting small. And that's that if I do. Is that your aspiration?

Do you want to be a performer? Oh, yes. Oh. Say, and, you know, that's why I will say there was one small extra thing that I, you know, reason I came on here is to maybe, you know, Philbert Townsend of the Black Box Theater in town. Oh, I know Philbert very well. You know Philbert, of course. Yeah, very well. If he's listening, you know, maybe consider if you a pint-sized for the role of Duke Senior in your upcoming production of As You Like It.

Well, you know, Charleston, you and I might just march on over there and talk to him, the two of us, because I also was interested in the role of Rosalind and he told me no. I would love to see you two treading the boards at the same time. So I am thinking perhaps we have to have a chat. No, it really just comes down to how exposed you want to be. You know, and but I love that you

of course, I mean, are we surprised that he's into Shakespeare and that he knows his classics? Very sophisticated. Look at the ascots. So sophisticated. Because I was going to suggest stand up for you because that would also, that's a great way to get your face out there. Oh, you know, I, you know, I, I, I've thought of it, you know, a lot of, a lot of my squirrel buddies and Barkie, they say I'm funny. Oh, you should try to stand up. Right.

But, you know, you know, I'd like, I'd like to, you know, just I like the act of theater. So if I was to dabble in a comedy, you know, I'd do the art of live improv, you know, which lives on forever. Unstoppable in every city. Running without problems. Every theater. Brimming top to bottom. Just a juggernaut that cannot be slowed. Cannot be stopped.

Successfully running. Sometimes runs overtime. Sometimes runs overtime. You know. You are such a renaissance rodent. You're fascinating. What a fascinating squirrel you are. You are. Before we let you go, if you could

I'm assuming you haven't uh revealed yourself to omega and if you if you were to do that what would you say to omega about that post i'd look omega right in his face stare him deep in his eyes and, now, my co-mates and brothers in exile, hath not old custom made this life more sweet than that of painted pomp? Are not these woods more free from peril than that of the envious court? Here feel we, not the penalty of Adam, the season's difference as the icy fangs and churlish hiding of the winter's wind, which, when it bites and blows upon my body, even till I shrink with cold, I smile and say, this is no flattery.

These are the counselors that feelingly persuade me what I am. Sweet are the uses of adversity, which, like the toad, ugly and venomous, was yet a precious jewel in his head. And this is our life, exipped from the public haunt. Find tongues in trees, books in running brooks,

sermons in stones, and good in everything. Omega, you're burnt. That was tremendous. That was tremendous. Charleston, I can't thank you enough. This has been incredible. He knows more words than all three of my children put together.

Oh, definitely true. Um, thank you so much, Charleston, for opening up to us. You're welcome back for some almonds anytime. Oh,

thank you. And thank you for, uh, for allowing me to clear things up. Of course. Possibly show what I can do. We'll look into it. I'm going to call Philbert tomorrow.

And I'm sorry if I've chased you before. Because you look familiar. We're getting into a graceful dismount and then that's all I just wanted to say. And then in comes Doug bringing up what clearly would be a very unpleasant memory. Also, Doug's gone. He's back that's all I just wanted to say. And then in comes Doug bringing up what is clearly would be a very unpleasant memory.

Also, Doug's gone. He's back up in the room. So how come it took you so long to get down and then you were back up in a second? Unbelievable. All right.

Thank you so much, Charleston. So nice to have you. Thanks for having me. We will take a little break and we will be right back. Hi, this is Lee here. Pine cones. Be right back. buckets. I piled them as high as I could. They're definitely going to fall when you pick them up. But what do you want from me? I got pine cones. I got them. And you don't have to do anything but come and pick them up. They're decorative. You heard me. I said decorative. D-E-C-R-E-T-I-V-E.

Decorative. Pine cones. And welcome back to the Neighborhood Listen. I don't... Did we dream that? Exactly. Exactly. I, now that, now that Charleston isn't here, it's sort of receding from my, my memory. I know.

Almost like we were under a spell. Is that the right word? Whoa. Oh yeah. I mean, I, I'd like it to be true. I'd like it. I'd like that too. I mean, Doug, you spent most of your time just coming down

to see him you only got a second before you ran back up but what do you think I was so exhausted my my vision was blurry to be honest you have to empty some of those pockets babe I mean it's just ridiculous just because there's 17 on there doesn't mean you have to

fill every single one yes it sounded like you just had washers and nuts and screws and coins. Crumbs. You need those. Crumbs. The crumbs were the loudest. Alright, I'll put them away.

Okay, alright. You're just jogging in place? What are you doing up there? No, I'm running around. I have a lot to do today. Oh, I'm sorry. Could I have a lot to do today. Oh, you're running around. Oh, I'm sorry. Could you do this right now? Seriously.

Bit of an attitude today. We're almost done. We're so close to the end. And then you can go do whatever it is you want to do. Oh, you didn't mean that to come off rude. I see. Okay, you can blow. Then I didn't either.

Sorry, babe. Love you. Okay, so I've got this post here because burnt we haven't talked about this subject in a while and i think that it's kind of fitting because it's about an animal and it makes me wish that we'd asked charleston about turtles yes turtles constantly turtles being found as if they're just the number one animal that is sure to run away. And I'm telling you, before this app existed, I'd never heard of a turtle running away.

Yes, the obvious answer, they go so slow. But really, how do you lose track of a turtle? So this says, found tortoise. I can't believe, I'm sorry, go ahead. No, well, it's just, it's not, no big deal. Found tortoise. This little tortoise appears to have broken away from its owner's home, found yesterday morning,

August 16th, walking down Margaret Mead Boulevard and would love to know where he lives. Please contact me. So there's a picture of just the turtle walking down the road. And it's just crazy to me that. Well, and then it's there's an update. I will say this is a happy ending. But the way that it's phrased, it says owner has been found, you know, as if the owner was missing. Right.

Because, you know, the turtle, I guess the turtle was already on his own. Do you think maybe the turtle, this is what I wish I could ask Charleston. Are they trying to get away? Do they not want to be found? Do they not want to be found? I mean, we'll never know the inner lives of turtles. They are ancient creatures. They live longer than most humans do.

And who knows what they want? I mean, lettuce? It makes me want to get a turtle in here and ask him. I know. I don't know. I'm good. I'm not a big fan of turtles. Birds, you're kidding! Yeah, I just... I don't know. Something about you made me think that

they hide in their shell. They keep to themselves. You have no idea how old they are. They disgust me. They're clearly like they should have died out a long time ago. We don't need them anymore. What purpose are they

serving? Is there some animal that's eating enough of them that's thriving that we need? Alligators maybe? I don't know. Where do you think this really strong feeling of hate towards tortoises comes from? Did you have any pets growing up as a kid? Did you have an experience with a tortoise as a kid?

You know, I remember going to the zoo and, you know, we were in the reptile house and I remember there was a turtle in there a turtle not a tortoise not a tortoise just the

it's eyes it's eyes those its eyes, those yellow eyes with that black in the center. The turtle looked at me and then it looked away as if it were bored. And I felt just judged and dismissed. And, you know,

I haven't thought about that experience in quite some time, but I guess that's what it was. I feel like these turtles just, you know, they've seen it all and I'm nothing special. I guess that's the vibe that I get from them. Wow. I didn't know we were going to uncover that when I asked that question. Me neither. I'm really sorry to pull you back to that moment. It seems to have really affected you. Well, I mean, I'm glad to know myself better. And I mean, that's not a bad thing.

Yes, because we, of course, know that that is not what was actually happening. No, that's what happened. Of course, that's what happened. There's no mistaking it, Joan. I mean, if you could have been there and seen this turtle, look at me and look away, You would have, you would have felt the exact same thing. There's no chance. It was just turning to look at something else. Very pointedly.

Very pointedly. Okay. Not. Okay. All right. Listen, you know, they move so deliberate.

It's so deliberate, you know, just looking at me and then looking away. And I, I, I knew what it was trying to say. And you know, the,

the idea that people have these as pets is absurd to me. This judgmental creature living in your house that you have to care for and give and give, give it its lettuce or whatever it eats. And then, and then it leaves. And the, and the idea that,

that people are saying that turtle broke away, they should say it crawled away. I definitely agree. It's very deliberate pace. Yes, exactly. There's no breaking away. They should say it crawled away. I definitely agree. It broke away at a very deliberate pace. Yes, exactly. There's no breaking away. The turtle, I think, I think the turtle actually moves so slow

because it's saying like, it wants you to see it. It wants you to see it leaving the home. Yes. It wants you to know. It wants you to feel it. Yeah, because they can do it at night. This is always in broad daylight.

They find these pictures. Always in broad daylight. Right? It's a real fuck you to the owner, I think. Exactly. Exactly. Babe. Joan, I've never heard you speak like that.

Oh, now come on. I'm not afraid of a four-letter word from time to time. What? People can say it on this podcast, but I can't? You can. You can. I can bleep that if you'd like. No, we're not bleeping it.

A squirrel swore. We're going to bleep him? No, you can't bleep that squirrel. Okay. I mean, he came on here to tell his truth, and I think we have to leave that in. Anyway, shout out to President Margaret Mead. Well, that's it for this. That's it for

this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. And we thank you for listening. And if you would like to see the posts that were discussed in this week's episode, of course, go to our Instagram, The Neighborhood Listen on Instagram. And if you have a post that you'd like to share with us from The NeighborHap, something that you've seen that perhaps we missed, you can email it to us at burnt and Joan at gmail.com. Margaret Mead was an amazing anthropologist. Okay. And, and a committee of women spent a long time making sure that a street was

named after her because there's a lot of old men. I think that's why she was like the president around the streets of a lot of old men. I think, I think that her, her, her, her fame and anthropology led to her being elected president.

We will be back next week. Until then, goodbye. And bye. The Neighborhood Listen is executive produced and hosted by me, Paul F. Tompkins. And me, Nicole Parker. Our producers are Brett Morris and Judith Cardboe. The show is engineered by Brett Morris, who also plays Doug. Our guest today was Ify Wadiwe.

The Neighborhood Listen is an Earwolf production. Want more of The Neighborhood Listen? Sign up and get a free month of Stitcher Premium. Go to stitcherpremium.com slash neighborhood, select the monthly plan, and use the promo code neighborhood.