The Neighborhood Listen - Just Put Up A Privacy Fence with Ross Bryant

Episode Date: May 19, 2026

Sprune is in the air! Burnt shares more family developments, Joan unveils her latest stage project, and Doug lands a big gig. Later, they welcome George (Ross Bryant), whose neighborhood research has raised some eyebrows.Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for the Maximus plan to unlock this episode and ALL seasons of The Neighborhood Listen ad-free, as well as full length exclusive BONUS ROOM episodes adventuring deeper into Dignity Falls!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website. Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad-free archive as well as exclusive monthly episodes of the bonus room, go to CBBWorld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership. And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Your neighbor. Good. In Dignity Falls, you're never alone. You've got the neighbor half app and us. Burn. And Jod.

From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell. We'll cover it all. And meet new neighbors as well. We'll chat about any posts you're missing. So just tune in to the neighborhood listen. Boom. Wow. To the neighborhood listen.

This is the podcast that explored the neighborhood of Dignity Falls for the eyes of its many residents, two of whom are seated across from each other, and I am talking to you right now as one of them. My name is Burt me a payday. I'm the pharmacist in chief of the Dignity Falls, Missy. Dignity Falls' premier pharmacy, and dare I say, Americas. You dared to do it. I did do it.

Where eagles dare, I also. As always is. Oh, no. Do you need some water? Are you okay? That was a real big windup. Bert, are you okay? Yes, I inhaled some saliva.

I'm so sorry. Okay. We are entering the season of spruin here in Dignity Falls. Yes. As we all know, is sort of in between. I'm so sorry. Here, have this lozage. It's really terrible.

There's absolutely nothing you can do about it. Have a lozenge. I make them at home now. Well, I don't know. Well, because it's in my lungs. You know what I mean? That's the problem. Right.

But this is also, it's... I don't think more moisture is the issue. I don't think that's a solution. If your throat is bothering you, then you could... You still need some comfort from the law. You still need a lubrication of sorts. Are you listening to me? I am listening to you.

I'm dismissing what you're saying. Oh, you know what? I appreciate the honesty. I appreciate the honesty. But dismissing. All I'm bringing up is a lodgents. There's only to dismiss it. I'm not a doctor.

I'm just a pharmacist, but I do know a little bit. And the lozenges is not going to do anything. You're saying it's a placebo sort of. It's a comfort thing. No, I believe that it's real. Listen, this is probably because I'm a singer. Hi, I'm Joe Pedestrian. And I'm the top realtor here in Dignity Falls.

and the top local actress. Dare I say, the premier local actress in the country. Dare, I double dog dare you to say it. Where Eagles double dog. Oh, almost having out. Aw, wasn't that sad. What's with us? So anyways, I think that lozenges do work.

I really do. No, I think they do work. They don't work in this particular instance. But a cough is still going to irritate your throat. Didn't you need to treat your throat as well? It is, but I was... Because you know what's happening when you cough, right? What?

You make a fool out of you and me? Ha ha ha ha. A and B, the chords are slamming together. You know, your vocal cords, right? Oh, no. Slamming together. They're slamming together. It's violent.

A cough is very violent on those little chords. Is that the best we could do is chords? What would you call them? Do you know what I mean? What do you want to call them? No, it's not the name. It's just the system. Oh, well, how would you have a voice boxwork?

I don't like having some sort of piano system in my throat. A piano system. I don't know what it called. Cords. They're more like two drums almost that that undulate as they hit together. Is it just, you only have two vocal cords? Do you know what it's like?

It's like a cricket. Okay, I'm sorry. Every time I keep making my point, I get further across the island and I'm pointing my finger at him. And I don't even know why I'm doing that. But it's because you said you dismissed what I said earlier. So now I think I have to really get your attention a lot.

That's what I'm trying to do. Okay. And I deserve that. So anyways, it's like a cricket. You know how cricket rubs their legs together. Yes. Okay.

And there's that vibration and that. sound. It's like the two chords are coming together and there's vibration and there's sound. I always imagine we just had like a full set down there. A full set of what? Cords. Oh, are you picturing piano keys? I'm not picturing piano keys.

Okay. I'm picturing piano strings. Piano strings. Okay. You thought we had there's a harp stretched across our larynx. Yes, that's what I thought. And there's a little cartoon. I don't know, bug that's just running across them. I just thought that might be more. fun. In your throat? No. I don't want any bugs in there. Well, you know, you say I caught a bug.

It's real. Joan, you got me. Anyways, it's just two little guys down there. And you know, what's crazy, people might think that they're up and down vertically in our throat, but they're actually perpendicular to our larynx. They're stretched across our throat. This is making less and less sense to me and it's less and less appealing. You know, you should look it up or not at your own wrist. What chords look like? I watch the pig. Everyone says it look like a vagina. Okay, let's all get over it. What if I look them up and they don't at all? And then you have not had all the pet trade of sex you think you've had.

I can't look at the same time. Well, I mean. I mean. I don't know what to tell you. You fully short-circuitous. It's possible. You can't. I don't want to get into it.

No. Anyways, it's sproon season. And it's, um, it's, It's in between May and June, and it's when we have these carnivorous flowers that are gorgeous. They're so beautiful. But they will, they'll try to eat you. Yeah.

They're very dangerous. Yeah. They are flesh-eating plants. We did try to figure out Gabby and I, is there a way she could have a bouquet of them for the wedding? Oh, that seems like a terrible idea. Well, we arrived. And then you're going to toss it to a bunch of bachelorets,

and they could get injured as well. We ultimately realized there's no safe way to do it. There's no safe way to do it. Everybody would be coughing and sneezing. can't get near them to take them out of the ground. You can't. They don't let you. Yeah. Although they try to lure you. They sort of take charge of the of the town.

Oh, they do. Yeah. And, you know, it gets worse every season. It gets terrible. And the mound of Kleenex, which always happens. Everyone throws their Kleenex into the middle of the town square. We shall lack it and then it's taken to other cities. And nobody wants it. No one wants it this year. Once they found out what it was, that was our mistake.

Yeah. Was was them, the city council, whatever, telling people, what it was. Yes. Because when it shalact... It looks kind of pretty from afar. It does.

And you would look at it and you assume, well, it can't be actually real... No. Who would do that? That's disgusting. That's disgusting.

That's disgusting. That's disgusting. Why do we do it? We shouldn't do that? It's just like all of our traditions. I never questioned it until now. We even had a man die in there. Remember?

The guy who was like, look at me. And then he ran in and he got stuck like he was in a jello mold. And they could never extract him. Look at me, he cried. Something like that. That was his TikTok thing that he did. Absolutely.

Yeah. Yeah. And of course, recording in another room in our home is my husband, Doug. How are you doing, babe? Well, that whistle can only be one thing. Doug is being confusing.

Doug, what? He's nothing if not consistent. Are you in a birdhouse? No. I'm in a, I'm building a whistle chamber. I joined the men's whistle choir in town. What? I did.

They let you in? They let you in. They're very, they're very exclusionary. They're very exclusionary. It's true. That is a tough, a tough group to break into. Yeah, they're called Lips Together Sing Apart. And they are very exclusionary.

I try. I'm not a good whistler. So, but I just, they have, they put on such fabulous shows. I really wanted to be in them. They're incredible. They're incredible. Honestly, people come from all over. Um,

I've never cried in a live show before. You've never cried in a live show before. That is right. You only cry by surprise, usually. Tears, I only cried being surprised. I guess I was surprised by how beautiful the listening was. I suppose that still wasn't. Yeah.

Yeah. And babe, you were, I did not, I knew he was auditioning, but I didn't know that you got in. I got in. That's amazing. Congratulations. That's obviously what this means. You did get in. David Knight from a rhubarb caravan.

He's in it. So he kind of taught. Is he the one that wears the mask? Well, yeah, he's the lead singer, lead harmonica. He is... No, he wears the mask during the list together. Yes, exactly. Doug.

He wears a mask for Rubar Caravan as well? Well, it depends on what season it is. Yeah. No, I meant... Or what the gig calls for, you know. Okay, we adapt. The lead singer, David Knight, apparently... To remind everyone, Rubber Caravan is Doug's dad band.

Yes. The lead whistler of the Lips Together Sing a part. it was this mysterious figure who would wear a full Phantom of the Opera mask not a half one. No full one. But the lips are in the shape of... The lips look like when Garfield's family

sings Christmas carols. Garfield's family. When Garfield's... Who's in Garfield's family? First of all, well, there's Odie, there's the spider, there's Pookie to Teddy Bear. Those are related to Garfield. I forgot about the spider, by the way.

Spider plays a huge part. And the girlfriend who he's just, they have the worst relationship of the world, honestly. I thought you meant the Charlie Brown Choir. That's who I think of. That's what I think of. When did he sing Christmas carols, babe? There's a Garfield Christmas special. Oh, sure.

And that's when we're introduced to Garfield's family. And they're singing. Extended or immediate. No, there's a grandma that pets him on her lap. There is? She's kind of a cool gal. No, I think she's a neat, neat gal. She's a neat gal.

So, okay, so these various entities are not related, blood relatives of Garfield. No, none of them could be. They're all different species, practically. I need to hear from Doug. I'm just sorry. I didn't, I didn't need to answer and cover for him. No, they're not all cats. Is that way you're asking?

Yeah. But Garfield's not your normal cat. In fact, like only one of them's a cat. Garfield is a cat. If we're talking about all the people I just named. That's right. Only one was a cat in that list. Yeah, yeah.

You didn't even put in normal. Oh, normal. I forgot about normal. That is true. Also not really to Garfield. So you're doing this to practice. So, wow, this is amazing. To practice and also maybe hold rehearsals one of these days.

Oh, really? If I can bring them over. That's interesting because they always rehearsed. Would they deign to come to your home? They always rehearsing an undisclosed location and it changes every time. That's right. So I wouldn't even know if they were going to be in there. They reveal it afterwards on Instagram.

They drop pins. Later, Graham. Like Taylor Swift. A lot of it's just still the same rehearsal studio, but they jump units. I don't think you're supposed to see that, maybe. Jump units. You're going to get in trouble. I heard you had to sign a very exclusive NDA for this.

Did you? Well, I mean, this is just a podcast. I don't know. He sounds like one of our guests. Who commits murder, you know, commits murder and talks about it. It's like, is this going to go out to everybody? I'll scramble it in the edit. Okay, great.

This is very exciting. Can you, so can you give us a little more of what you're working on? Are you warming up in there? Yeah, I'm working on a, well, I'm building like, it's going to be all mirrors. Yeah, what does it look like? What constitutes? Mirrors. Yeah, so it's, I would think that's great for acoustics.

The most reflective surface you can get. Is a mirror? Yeah. I mean, vocally, maybe visually it is. But what do you want? A pool. Okay. Placid.

What? Reflecting pool? Yeah. You're not going to fly to Washington, D.C.? Also be incredibly reverberant. And you'll be able to see each other. My, my. Reverberant.

It'll be positively reverberant. And part of the whistle choir training is not just the whistle technique. Okay. You have to clutch your hands together, kind of cup them very earnestly as you whistle. That is true. And so I'm just, I have to see myself to work on it. Their signature move, yeah. Because it has to be just right.

It's like a salute. Yeah. It has to be the right angle, very precise. Was that part of the audition? Was that part of the audition? Yeah. And it's like a surgeon. You cannot shake.

It kind of makes them look like a cult. But anyway. They also say they scrub in before a concert. They do. They're big on hygiene also. They're, they're divas about germs getting sick. You know,

like they're never out. It's like, oh, you sneeze and they're like, bye. And they just, they just need. I didn't know that. That's right. Yeah,

you better be carefully. Wear a mask if you want to rehearse with them. I remember one time one of them got a cold sore and he was excommunicated. They would not let him back in the group after the cold sore view. They said it's affecting your whistling. Well, I mean, yeah, a lot of focus is on your lips.

It's all. It's all the lips, I think. Yeah. It's all the lips. Do you remember that one year they did, they ended with a big wolf whistle? I do remember that. And it was so powerful. Like, they did it in harmony.

It was so powerful. Every woman in the audience took their top off. Now, babe, that's just part of the job. Okay. All right. That was a one time saying. They're not going to do it again, are they? Expects.

Well, listen. And their fans are, I don't want to say crazy, but like they are rabid. I'll say rabid. They're absolutely misch bits. So you do. There are mosh bits. They did go viral for, um, for Enter the Sandman. They did a whole, a whistle version.

Enter the Sandman. Slightly, slight twist on the original. Guys, I think that was on me. I think that's my mistake. Let's just call it what it is. Yeah. I started to say Enter Sandman. What was your first clue?

I added the, the, the. We're clear on the difference. You know what? For someone who only knows musical theater, okay? I think it's impressive when I know anything that's not written by Sondheim. It honestly is. Okay. Could you imagine if they collapsed,

Metallica and Sondheim? To be honest, I think it would have rocked. I think he would have loved it. I think it would have been all about it. Do you think of the one guy came up to Sondheim and said, Avenue Leigh? Now, by the one guy you mean, James Hatfield, oh, do I know his name? Look at that.

But that's actually... Lars Ulrich. What else do you want from me? It's not to where I meant. Keep going. Okay. Anybody else? Really?

You were thinking of the one that I didn't name? Yes. Two more. There's two more guys. I'll get back to you on it. Maybe three more. Wasn't somebody kicked out at some point? Well, someone died.

Someone died. You know. But they're not the same. They were not kicked out by death. See, I know what I'm talking about. I know a lot more than you think I know about Metallica. Hey, Joan. You're not on trial here.

Well, I feel like I am. I feel like I'm the guy who got excommunicated from lips together seeing apart. That's extremely. Oh, that's extreme. They publicly shamed him in the town square. They did. They do to this day. Yes, I do.

He's still there. Every time they announce a concert, they mention it by name and say, and don't worry. But they make him come out every time. He has to. Old VD lips won't be there. Speaking of musicals. Wait, wait, wait, I wanted to say. Okay, go on.

What do you want to say? There was a hanging chat. Yeah, oh, yeah, I'm so sorry about the hanging chat. The one guy, maybe he's, Kirk Hammett. That's the name. That's the name. That's correct. Yes.

If he went up to Stephen Sondheim and said, I have any lyric. Oh, he's got an impression too. My lifestyle determines my death style. Is that really what he sounds like? Yes. Okay. What do you think, what do you think Stephen Sondheim would have made it?

Not the lyricist, by the way. Not the lyricist. He could present him. But, you know, they were all, this is after therapy. Yes. Well, then Sondheim would go, you know, I have always thought that. Maybe that we should do something about life, life and death. Always life and death.

I'm always writing about life and death. I try to always write about life and death. That's what he would say. And I think they would get on great. Very diplomatic. I never want, I know and ever explain what that weird bump was on his forehead. Sound time? Yeah.

He had a weird bump? Oh, yeah. How big? No one never talked about it. Goose egg? Goose egg. Wow. 100%.

I'm going to show you later. It's wild. Okay. I was worried about him. No one addressed it. When I was a kid, there was a friend of mine, I grew up in medium Italy, where there were a lot of Catholics. And my friend. Were they medium Catholic?

You know what? They were. Okay. They went to church on Christmas and Easter. And one time I went with him to Mass and there was some, there's a position at the church called a sextant. Yes, I've heard of that. Or sexton. Wait, I thought one of those was a maritime tool.

It is. Sextant is a maritime tool. Sexton, I think, is what the position is called. Okay. And this gentleman had a big, like just big lump on his neck forever. And it's like, I guess that's the thing you can live with. I guess so, as long as it doesn't mess up all the piano strings in your throat. Anyways, by the way, it looked like a sarlack.

I hope you're pleased with yourself. What do you say? I think they look like a sarlack. You think that local course look like a sarlack? Oh, he looked them up. He looked them up. Yeah. But there's no like tendrils with the courts.

Well, that's the HD. That's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the HD. That's the HD. Everything's HD now. That's the HD talking. Yeah. The original Sarlatch. Sarlatch.

That's how you're really supposed to pronounce it. Isn't it fun when you watch a movie in HD that wasn't in HD before? Oh yeah. And you can see where everybody's makeup ends. Mm-hmm. people with their very pale throats. I want to ask you two questions, but I just wanted to finish what I was going to say now.

My hanging chat is that I'm writing a new musical. This is great news. Thank you. And it's a musical version of Nancy Meyer something's got to give. Because you remember I went on that Nancy Myers kitchen tour a couple years ago. Yes, I do remember. You know, and it was just ladies and. white kitchens talking, you know?

And I was like, where has this been all my life? How many kitchens total? There were seven. Seven kitchens, okay. How much time do you get to spend in each kitchen? Oh, not enough. You get a whole afternoon. A chef comes in and makes you food.

Oh, good. Well, because it's copious amounts of wine drinking. So they have to fill, we have to have some sort of balance. Yes, yes, yes. And then one of them is one on a movie set, actually. Fun. It was, but it was sort of like, oh, well, this one... It's a fake kitchen.

Yeah, and it didn't have the same feel to it. Because you want to be in the real kitchen. Yeah, absolutely. From the movies, yes. And so obviously, the set, easy. One set musical. It's just all takes place in the kitchen. And I just thought, you know, this movie really sings.

And I was, I was thinking of, you know, because something's got to give is very musical. Now, this is the one with Diane Heaton, of course. Keanu Reese. Yes, okay, that's the one I'm thinking of. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's a fun one. And it's just, the title just sings

And I was walking around the house going, Something's got to give, you know, like that. Well, you know, there's already a song called Something's Got to Give. There is? Oh, no. This is bad news because what I was going to say is... When an irresistible force such as me beats an old immovable object such as you. Did you sing this in medium Catholic Church?

No. It sounds like a Catholic... That's just the way I sing. Okay, I know, I know. Now that I can sing, I have to sing everything. the same way, yeah, or I can't say. This is bad news because if that's already a song, I was going to say that what I realized is the tune's already a tune.

It's Blame it on the rain. Yes, Millie Vanilly. Yeah, I was going to say. And I was so upset about that. Do you remember Millie Vanilli? I do. Remember when that happened? I do.

That's really unfair. You think it was that fair, babe? I do. Millie Millie really means nothing. Okay. Well, certainly not now. Yeah, that's true. What were you going to say, babe?

Why was it unfair? Well, just because everyone lip sinks these days, right? Well, I mean... Yeah, but they lip sync to their own music, I think. They do. They previously sung. They recorded it at some point. They actually did.

Remember that song like, uh, I've got the power. I've got the power. It came out that that was a different singer than the lady in the video. Was that also the same guy, the German guy that, uh, that really sang it? No, no, no. The guy who keeps putting these bones. I've got the power. Bruce Springsteenstein?

Springstein. in my office now. Springsteen. Oh, boy. Is that the German procedural you are? Springsteen, you're off the case. You're being a cowboy, Springsteen. Give me your badge and you're gone.

Okay. Well, now I don't know where we've gotten to. But I just want to ask you really quickly, Burns, your wife. Nope, not yet. You're soon to be wife. Your fiancé, Gabby. I'm just so excited for a wedding, but it can't happen until she's done dealing with the incident, the impending incident.

And you said last week that it was looking good. She's on the front line. Well, that was last week. Whatever mysterious incident is about to happen to our city. Yes. As listeners may recall some years ago, way before this podcast, there was something that happened here called the incident. We never talk about it. We don't really talk about it.

It was very traumatic and had lasting repercussions. To this day. Yes. And, but we, we did feel like we were, uh, surely this couldn't happen again, but now it might be happening again. And worse, it wouldn't happen again. We all promised. We did.

We promised. Yeah. But we didn't have any way to back that up. No, there was no. We didn't sign anything. We didn't take an oath. We just sort of agreed. Mm-hmm.

But that's not a protection against anything. So what, what's happening? Except sex if you agree not to have it. Um, so, uh, she and the other, uh, smoke jumpers. they have sort of done a strategic retreat. Oh, really? This seems like not a good time to take a retreat. Well, strategic.

She said she's on the front line. So now she's gone to, what, like a spa somewhere in the hills? No, not a vacation. Retreat in a tactical sense, not in a corporate sense. Well, my mind goes to fun retreat. Yes, of course it does. We all like to have fun. We love to.

Okay, so. I've had to pull back a little bit. So she's closer to home, which is nice. Do you have you seen her? No. Oh my gosh. Just via FaceTime. Yes.

All right. As always, we don't save enough time to talk about this because this seems more important than anything. It's definitely more important than whistling and it's more important than that German television show. Taking strays over here. I shouldn't be talking about it at all. You're not taking strays, babe. I'm just saying don't you think that an impending like a huge event is more important that

does cause-. I think whistling might make you feel better? Sure. Well, look. In lowest of lows. In trouble times, we do need whistlers. They're important, too. Did you say in times in lows?

Of lows? In the lowest of lows. In the lowest of lows. What do you think is the lowest lows that exists? The store. Is there one lower than sea level? There's one in the Marianas trench. Maybe.

That would be the lowest. He first said, there's one in the Mario's trench. And then he said, I mean, that would be. Yeah. We don't know. We've never been. Yeah, we can't argue with that.

It would be. You never know there could be a Lowe's down there. James Cameron would tell us, right? He's going to search for that Lowe's. Yeah. All right. Doug, how long we've been recording? I think we've been talking too long.

I don't even want to know. 23. Oh, that's true. We always ask around the same time. It is. It's a strange internal clock. 22, 23 minutes. Yeah.

Sometimes 24. We've been doing it for a real long time, I guess. Beep. Boop. What's happening? I'm singing the theme song to 24. Careful, that sounds like Millie Vanilly. All right, we'll be back, right?

We'll be back. Well, they're never listening returns. Hello, this is Helen. I have vintage handcrafted candle holders in durable clay with patina finish, $140. These pieces embody the spirit of ancient Greek art. Each piece is crafted both from durable clay and given a stunning patina finish that adds a touch of rustic sophistication to the class artistry. Each candle holder is 16 inches in height with a base that measures four by three inches. Here's the thing. My grandchildren are now teenagers and I love them dearly, but when they come to

stay with me, which I so appreciate, they cannot leave these candle holders alone. Or they can't stop touching them. They can stop looking at them. They can stop making comments about them. The boy and the girl. They just are obsessed. They disappear. So, they disappear. Sometimes, sometimes I find them in their bed. And, you know, and they've been cleaned. They've been cleaned. They've been bleached. Just to be very clear.

And I don't want to see my darling, dear grandchildren as some sorts of sexual monsters. So I need them out of here. Also, I need the cash. Welcome back to the neighborhood listen. Here's what cords look like. I told you it's crazy looking, right? It looks like an alien. It does look like an alien.

It's very alien-looking. But again, you have to remember, this looks like they're up and down, but they're like this across your... Well, then why would they take the picture up and down? That's the only way because a camera goes down your throat. They should turn it sideways. They can't. I can do that in my phone. I don't think you understand.

They can turn the picture sideways is what I'm saying. They could, but that's still, you're still looking at it head on. You're not picture that you're looking down on top. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, please don't bring that. up. I'm sorry. It's just involuntary. Yeah, it's involuntary. Oh, no. I don't want to talk about head-on. You know, one of the, applied directly. Oh, no. One of the most successful campaigns, they just repeated the same phrase over and over again for as long as they could. For as long as they could afford. That's why I need to stop saying it. And I think it worked. They sold a ton of head on.

Applied rig of the forehead. And then they said, we're out of the business. What does it do again? It's supposed to calm. It's like, it's like instead taking a Tylenol, you, you rub a stick on your forehead. head directly to it you apply it directly before I mean it's right there in the commercial well we have a guest Joan as we always do what we do every week folks is we scour the neighbor half

the social no-breaking application for neighborhoods and we look for some interesting neighbors to talk to maybe somebody wants to amplify them maybe somebody wants their message amplified maybe they have a question maybe they're confused about something maybe there's something to answer for a lot of times most of the time and if you have a

post you see that you think we should talk about Why don't you screenshot it and send it to us at burnt and Joan at gmail.com. This one submitted by Jessica Noll. Noll. Jessica Noll. Thanks, Jessica Noll. N-O-L, not K-N-O-L. Oh, okay.

Oh, like your null, babe. Remember he built Hobbiton? He built a, he had a knoll. Yeah. It's covered in spreading plants now. It was a shaved knoll. When I think of Noel, the first thing I think of is Hobbit. definitely as someone who grew up in 20th century America

the first thought hobbits here is our post this is in the crime and safety section posted by George the headline suspicious man taking photos George goes on scruffy looking older man was looking at people's houses and it looked like he sometimes took a photo wait a minute that was me

my doctor said I needed to walk Also, my sweet wife wants to replace our horrid yellow shutters and make improvements to our yard. So I snap a few photos of those I think she might like as well as yard slash gardens I admire. Believe me, I'm not casing your homes to set up robberies. I am staying on the road and not trespassing. I'm not going to steal anything or attack anyone. So please don't call the police or shoot me. After seeing past posts here with scores of comments, I thought I should say something.

Anyway, if you were offended by someone admiring your home, just put up a don't look sign or a privacy fence. Privacy fence. And here to talk more about that is George. George, welcome to the neighborhood. I'm happy to be here. I think I made my case as clearly as I could make it in my post. But since the whole town has decided to put me in the pillory,

as if I had a cold sore on my lips and a certain quiet. Oh, no. Now, just so people know, we don't have a pillory here at Dignity Falls. No, we do not. We thought it looked back for the budget. But there is still the pillory plaque in the town's quay. There is unfortunately there is. Which really praises it.

It really does. Yeah. The plaque, it's a sort of historical interpretation plaque that is in the shape of in a fully functioning pillory. Yes. So we do sort of still have a pillar. I mean, like it's a pub. It's not a flat plaque.

But you can't get people in. in there. No, no, no, no. It's sealed. Yeah. There's one solid piece. That's right. Yes, it is. Now, George, George, let me ask you something. Have you ever heard of something called the Streisand effect? Um, yes, you listen to her voice once and it gets in your bones and you just can't shake it. Oh, this is, this is another one that's not medical. But I'm feeling on that one, George. Joan, you know the Streisand effect, yes? I, well, I thought I did, but now I'm not sure. You please tell, tell explain it. My doctor already has me. me walking laps around the neighborhood.

I better tell my doctor about the Streisand effect because something tells me I got it. Oh, boy, he's got. You got the energy of a fun stand-up, George. From your mouth to God's ear. I've tried a couple of times, but Strait gets the better of me before he can step on stage. See, I knew.

He's got the rhythm. I think this is something to talk about later. But what, please explain the stricent effect. Somebody took pictures of Barbara Streisand's house. Okay. She did not like this. And so she started talking about it, which caused the pictures to be shown again and again and again and again.

So the story got picked up. And then in wanting privacy, she called attention to it and thus blew the story up. Right. And then made a whole coffee table book that had everything in her house, entire pictures, the entire thing. Well, if you can't be in a majority. So, George, I feel like you saying over and over again

that you are not doing anything suspicious. It's putting more suspicion on you. Right. Like an accusation is a confession, right? That kind of thing. Yes. Can I introduce you to a legal concept called damned if you do, damned if you don't? Well, nice to meet you.

Yeah. I'm a pleasure to meet you. And yeah, well, I take my laps around the neighborhood for my ticker. And everybody apparently sees me as a peeper as a threat. Now, you really call your heart your ticker. That's, I haven't met anyone that does that. It's kind of old-fashioned. It is kind of old-fashioned.

Do you agree? Call me an old-fashioned fella. Really quickly. First of all, that post just had such a twist in it because I was really surprised when he said, hey, it's me, you know? That's right. You really got me with that.

Well, I listened to a lot of the moth. I listen to the moth. Oh. Monst stories. I don't like to, I like to begin in Medius Res with a little twist. Like, there I was. Running down the street,

covered in sweat. Yes. Today is the day. There on my hands. You might be wondering how I got here. And then I go back to the... Boy, that did some to me inside when you did that. You might be wondering.

I didn't like it. I might be wondering how. I didn't like it. Now, I know that the moth doesn't allow notes. Do they allow sound effects? Because a record scratch would go along. Oh, it really would. I do think they're limiting themselves by just having it be a solo storytelling affair.

Oh, if they could have a sound board. Maybe you could do the sound effect yourself. That would work, right? That's allowed. I guess that's allowed. Can you imagine Michael Winslow's doing a mom? Real airbud type of situation. He would be amazing.

Oh, that'd be incredible. Michael Winslow, yeah, telling me a chilling story. Breaking into the Purple Hays riff. Oh, yeah, he's got that distortion pedal. I can't do it. I know Michael Winslow. Well, no one is. Who is?

Who is? Who is? Who is? Oh, you dear, sweet man. So now at the end of your place, you say, I'm an older gentleman. Yes. George? I'm an old-fashioned fella.

Okay. Sorry. At the end of your post, you say, I figured since, because of all of the, what, endless comments. Yes. I had to defend myself. Okay, can you talk about what the comments? Now, hold on a second. It says past posts here with scores of comments.

Scores. Are they? Tenthies of comments. That's what. Are you saying, I took it to mean you were looking at how other people post, like there was a suspicious man on my property, et cetera, et cetera. But are these past posts that are aimed at you? Yeah, that's what I thought.

You, right? Yes. Yes. You were there ahead of me. I was there ahead of you, which doesn't always happen. Yeah. Here's a post. Here's a, I mean, I quote them in my, in my post, a scruffy older man.

Oh, yes, I see. So you're kind of like calling them out and like, this is when you're going after your haters online, right? You're like, oh. Yeah. Who peeps the peepers? That's what I'm asking. I'm peeping, but they're peeping back. And I am lavishing attention on these homes so that I can finally get rid of those horrid.

Yeah, let's talk about the shutters, George, because this seems to be this. Are these, were they there when you moved in? Oh, yes. Yes, they were there when we moved in. Are they shutters on the outside of the house? Yes. Okay, all right, which is just sort of rare.

You know what I mean? You can have shutters on the inside of your house. You know, wooden shutters. Yeah. These are storm shutters. Yeah. Storm shutters. You got to remove some bolts and screws to try to swing them into it to prevent a storm damage.

What a asshole. What are they yellow? Did he say they're yellow? They're yellow. What's a horrific yellow? Okay. Shade of yellow. Absolutely ghastly. He almost swallowed the microphone to say that. I'm just picturing yellow shutters.

They sound charming. So can you walk me through? What's the color of the rest of the house? So I like that. That's true. That's true. I like that sound of the yellow shutters. So what's wrong with them?

Well, for one thing, that is ghastly shade of saffron. And I'm, the house is sort of a robin's egg blue. Okay. It sounds like it would work. It does sound like it would work. Well, But maybe just to sort of like cotton candy looking too childish. Sandy, my dear sweet lovely wife, likes soothing colors.

Okay. Soothing colors. Cool colors. Okay. The end of the spectrum. Purple, violets. Oh, okay. Pastels?

Indigo. Indigo. Yes. Here we are. We're on the same spectrum. Okay. As soon as you start warm it up those colors, oh, it jangles her nerves. Okay.

And the whole color scheme, yes, just, just is discordant in my eyes. seen that she is keeping the blue and the yellow because those are calming colors for her. I am saying, he's saying the opposite. Okay, sorry? He's saying, I think they're too warm and bright. Right, but... I know what you mean. I know what you mean.

Okay. I also think of the Robinson blue is a sort of cool, calming color. Yes, that's what I'm saying. These two colors do... Am I being, am I being obtuse? I'm just trying to figure out information, and if I misunderstood, that's on me, okay? I never want to put you on the spot. Well, the hole, the whole, and a part of my French, your damn community is putting me on the spot.

Please sit down. Please sit down. Putting me on. Oh, he's out of breath. Oh, God, my heart. My taker. He's looking. He's bending.

He's putting his head between his knees. My taker. Does he get a scruffier than ever. I'm going to squeeze. Doc says you got to squeeze your hands. Try to force blood back up into the top of your trunk. No, I don't think that's great. Okay.

Have I tried. Your trunk. You're not in the whistle fire, are you? If I was, I'd never tell you. Oh. Oh, wow. Well, they. I respect an N.

You know that my husband just joined. Oh, well, you're not even allowed to say that you joined? Babe, did you already break the rules? Doug! Sorry, babe. I told you guys. What? We're both out, we're both shocked and gobsmacked.

Oh, God. I really want in. Oh, wait, you didn't get in? No, you think I'm in trouble? I think you might be because George here knows about the NDA, which me, and he said if I was in it, I wouldn't tell you. I bet you're probably on probation right now. You've jeopardized your chances. You have to take your mouth shut for a week.

No whistling. There's no, I can't do that. What is the reason for that? Because you don't, they do, first of all, you're not allowed to keep, you can't get any further ahead than any of them would be at the time that you're on probation. And it teaches you. To prevent somebody from coming. Every chance to perform is a chance to improve.

That's right. And yes, we, we, we, oh, don't say we. The nail, the nail that sticks up gets hammered down or so, they might say. Oh, boy. Also, just to learn your lesson. If you can't whistle, you know, I've had to go on vulgarus before. Oh, no singing for a day, nightmare. Doug says it's his favorite.

What's a little, do you think I'm sexy? That's our opening number. I've always wanted to hear that. Stop talking about it. Don't see anything else, okay? Oh, my God. God. Okay, so hang on, let's get back to this.

Can we establish when you moved in, we know that the colors were the Robin blue. Robin's egg blue and yellow. Right, great. And how long ago did you move in? Okay. I just, it's so hard with my brain, with my feminine overdrive. It's so hard because I might not be able to hold on to a thought. So I worry that I have to get it all out.

Understood. But I think this is key information. Okay, go ahead. I'll try to remember it. Two and a half years. Moved in two and a half years ago? Okay. Okay.

And so what I want to know is. I'm done with my question. Okay. Okay. What I want to know is, when she moved in, did she say, oh, these colors suit me fine. They're the comforting kind I want. Or did she say these colors are awful? Great question, John.

Thank you. Everything else about the property was utterly fantastic. Okay. Except for this one little splinter. And sometimes that that's just how it works. A small annoyance grows and snowballs over time. And now it's darn near all we can think about. A pebble in your shoe.

That's right. Right. Eventually they amputate your leg. Mm-hmm. Okay. Well, I think we're getting way too far away from what my question was, which was, did she say, I like these colors they're calming, or I don't? Or did it start...

What? He did evade, yes. He what? He did evade, yes. Again, I feel as though I've been confusing and I did not intend to be... My wife favors... Cool colors. He gets more intense every time he re-explains me.

It really is like. Yeah, that's clear. Do you know what? That part I'm not struggling with. I'm not for her. We knew this when we bought the place. Okay. Two and a half years ago.

We figured maybe we can live with it. Okay, please don't pick the pedals off my flowers here. I'm just going to move this face. Nope, that's not. I don't. Please don't. Strange thing you see somebody doing in anger. He's ripping them off.

I guess what I mean to know is if, why didn't you change it if it was bothering either one of you? Well, the whole point of this little exercise is that we have to change it to something perfect. I understand that perfection will always elude us. Man's reach must exceed his grasp or what's a heaven for? Oh my goodness. I am trying to find the best version of this property which is why I'm walking around

item one for the ticker. Item two. For what we call inspo. I'm looking at the other properties in the neighborhood to gauge and see how they are doing color harmony. Color harmony.

This sort of function. Color harmony. Color harmony. Color harmony. Color harmony. Color harmony. They just keep saying it back and forth to each other. Color harmony.

Color harmony. What's happening? that's what I'm doing. So if my neighbors see me out there peeping, it's out of respect for their property to gauge the harmonic components of their property. Much in the way that cat calling is a compliment.

Yeah, they should be happy about that. They should be. What's the big deal? Can I ask you a question? Did you also try going online for inspo? That way you can, I understand you want to work out your ticker, but you could also maybe put a Pinterest board together. Look up colors online. Go to a... You're so interested. You have to pin it. Go to a Home Depot and look at all of the

paints, swatches, bring them back to your house. Have you done those two things? I am not... Internet's not for me. Okay. Internet's not for me. Really? Okay. I know there's still some people like that. Across the board. Across the board? Internet's not for me. Nothing on the internet. We'll stop. Internet's not for him. Writing this note on this website was one of the first times I've opened a browser. Oh. Wow. I went all the... I took a trip all the way to the library to use my card to use their computer lab.

Right, right. So that I could rise to my own defense because Lord knows no one else is going to. I hope you didn't make any noise because Mrs. C at the library. Oh, she's the worst. She yells at you so much. We tried to record an episode in the library and it was a disaster. She wants quiet so badly, but she screams at you if you make noise. And yet she's got a microwave there at the front.

It makes so much noise. I could hear it's the spindle rotating from the computer lab. It's one of the worst. It's one of those bad glasses. It's not on the track properly. It keeps banging against the sides. Yeah, when I engaged the caps lock a little too loudly, she screamed at me like the tyrant that she is.

Okay, so hang on a second. The whole town is against me. Okay, all right. First of all, again, sit down, please. She loves me not. Oh, God, he's on the chair. Get down, get down. Leave my flowers alone, please.

Okay. Here's my next question. I'm aiming at perfection. We're aiming at perfection. I understand it. Where do you think George, George, George, George. I'm taking photos. George, George, George, George, George, George, George.

Color harmony. Color harmony. Color harmony. Color harmony. Color harmony. Color harmony. Color harmony. Tell me where you think this perfectionism comes from.

Were you a kid who had straight A's? Did you have parents who enforce these things on you? Where do you suppose this comes from? Well, yes. My parents helped me to a certain standard, I suppose. Okay. Made me into the young man that I was. Then, of course, I joined the Navy.

Okay. And then also instilled a sense of regimented discipline in me. as a young as a young buck. Okay. So you were in the Navy. And then what do you do? Did you sail the seven seas? That I did, sir.

I am a son of Neptune. And then what did you do after you left? I'm assuming you left the Navy. What do you do now for a living? What I am? What? What I am? Well, I heard you say what I am.

You are all that you are? What are you? What are you are? Is that like I know you are, but what am I? I am a certified Reiki healer. You're kidding. I didn't see that coming.

I don't understand this response. Well, I haven't seen the temperament so far for that. Usually, I've done Reiki a couple times and they're very calm. Well, if you come to one of my sessions, you'll see a brighter side of George. Oh, okay. I don't even know to see a brighter side. I need to see the calmer side of George is what I need to see. Not even brighter.

The calmer, the softer. George, is that based on the old Sears slogan? Is that what it sounded like? The softer side of see. Softers side. That's right. I haven't heard that in a very long time. Yeah, you go to, you'll see a softer side of Sears.

What do they really mean? They're like, we're not all washing machines. We'll take pictures of your kid with a rabbit. We're not all craftsmen tools. Yes, we're a photo backdrops. We have ladies underwear. Undershirts. We also ventriloquiz and dolls for children.

Did they? Yes. Oh, wow. The Wishbook. Is that where you got yours? Connie? Yeah. Yes.

So much to say that Sears contains multitudes and so does George. Okay. Okay. You're like the sears of people. Can we see another one of those multitudes? Yeah, how many have we seen so far? I suppose you've seen. Which multitude are we talking to right now?

You've got me running a little hot right now. Yeah, clearly. One of the hotter multitudes that reside in George, I guess. Don't take off your shirt, please. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do that. Oh, my ticker. Taking the shirt off affected your heart?

Boy, you're in bad. I'm sorry, I should say that. Just button it up a little bit more, please. That's just, I don't think that's necessarily. Okay, I'll take it up to the navel at least. Thank you. He bumped it from the bottom up, which was so strange. That's how we do it in the Navy.

Look, yes, if you come, if you come. Uh-huh. To where? N-R-G, my, my Reiki energy healing. N-R-G. Okay, got it, got it. Studio. Uh-huh.

You will see a gentler, softer side. Does NRG stand for something? Mm-hmm. No further questions. Okay. Right, like. Not really gonna. I just thought like, you know, on the license plate, that's what he was doing, you know, the energy.

Right. Yeah. But if you have it just as letters, here's why I ask. Uh-huh. A friend of mine, uh, when he first moved to Los Angeles, California, to pursue his dreams, uh, he got a day job as a telemarketer at a place called NRG. Oh, really? Yes.

And it's, it allegedly stood for national research group because they did surveys over the phone. Oh, oh, okay. And my friend, he worked there for a good month or so before he realized NRG was supposed to be energy. I see. I see. Yes. Well, mine is now, Reiki, George. Oh, I was going to think maybe it's, yeah.

Like a command? No, Reiki, George. Rakey, George. Indeed. Yeah. And yes, you'll see a softer side of me. I'll move the energy around. Okay.

Don't mind that. Like that. Just so I don't have to think it anymore. Rakey, Amadeus. Oh, my God. You got that out. George, yeah. See, now I'm perched.

That was Douglike, if I do say so myself. Yeah. It really was. It was, actually. But I did, I did preface it. I did preface it. As in Rockmi Amadeus? Yes.

Okay. All right. Exactly right. All right. So, okay. Riki, I am always in search of perfection. Maybe this is the new name. But I mean, is there some connection to Amadeus?

You could play classical music, I suppose. What do you normally play or what is the, what is the vibe like when you go in there? Do you got like water features or what? Gongs. You better believe there's water features. Okay. All right. I've got one of those wall-sized fountains.

You know, it's the fountain wall. Love those. That's trickling away. Uh-huh. It's a wall fountain. It's trickling away. Yeah, I know. I'm with you.

It's the size of a wall. It's a wall. It's a wall. It's a wall. It's a wall. It's a wall. It's a wall. I get it.

George, I'm with you. I just want you to know. I'm with you. I hear you. I see you. Yes. And I purchased a bunch of meditative tapes from an estate and I just let those let those go. I mean, they're working on your own. Okay. So wait, someone else does all the talking. Is there talking on these tapes or just music? Sometimes. I haven't listened to all the tapes. You haven't. Well, I throw one in, let it, let it rip. But you don't really hear it. But yes, you hear. Am I being obtuse? Am I being confusing right now? Yes.

Yes, you are. You know what? It was such a specific. Pugh. Let me paint you a picture. Please. Okay. You come into NRG.

There's the waiting room. Wall-sized fountain. A full of pouches. A full-sized fountain. Wall-sized fountain. You step into the Reiki room. There's a table with the little cut-out holes. You can lean in an acupuncture style.

Stick your hole. Stick your hole. Stick your hole. Head in the hole. This is hard to picture. But I think. I think I get what your thing. I find it very easy.

I'm painting you a word picture. All right. Sorry. Go on. And they're off to the side, a Sony boom box. What was afraid of that? It didn't have to be. Stack of tapes.

Stack of tapes. Here's me. Plucking a tape off the stack. Throwing it in there, hit and play. Do you even look at the cover of the tape? Well, the estate sale there, it's just there's no labels. It's just loose tapes.

Oh, no. Okay. Yeah. But terrifying. Exactly. But somewhere it said meditation, you're saying. It was labeled meditation. Yeah, I purchased these from a meditation, Ashram that all died.

Yeah, it fell into a fissure. It fell into a fissure after a earthquake. Oh, no. Dear. Have you ever heard something strange on one of those tapes? They'll define strange. Oh, gosh. Weird?

Yes. Well, no. How is that the magic word? I don't know, John. I got lucky. You sure did. Can you share with us what that was? Certainly.

And many, many times these tapes, you know, I'm seeking perfection. I understand. So if one fits the bill, it goes into the special pile for reuse, but I haven't worked my way through all the tapes yet. Wow, it's a lot of tapes. It's a lot of tapes. I pluck out a tape, throw it on. And by and large, these are energy work, new age drones. We're dealing in drones.

Drones, as in. Okay. Oh, some Coyana Scotty music. Oh, wow. Yeah. that's the very same okay I didn't realize I was here

with a regular Philip Glass oh so okay that's what's normal happened what was it what was a weird thing

that happened oh yeah a weird thing that happened is that every now and then like a tape will just be

the car is just what I needed and do you leave that or do you take it off right away and say sorry about that I like to think that I can work with anything.

So you do a Reiki session to just what I need to buy the cars. Some, some, sometimes that, look, Reiki is all about reaching into the ether and the... Oh, boy. What is, what he's got... He was right about the mirrors.

That's very echoey, very reverberant. The intro. That's the intro to just what I needed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm, yes. So just a matter... The energy. I don't, I don't just move the energy.

I'm communing with an energy that's always there. that's being resonated by spaces, objects, colors. Yes, okay. And yes, sometimes that's just what the person needs. It's just what they needed for me to do my work on them while the car's best friend squirrel is playing. And do they seem to get up and feel better?

Do they have positive reactions to your treatment? Doi. Okay. Well, I'm not sure that required a 12-year-old response. I don't know. No doi. I don't think we've got a doi. No, no.

I don't think we've had a doi ever on this show. Fine. I'm so glad that it's obvious to you, but I was just wondering to know what kinds of things do they say. How do you know that it's a doi? How do you know that it's obvious that they're happy? Because they're completely serene afterwards. You can tell that the energy has been soothed and moved to its appropriate key laylines.

And they... Wow, I've never heard that phrase before. You've never heard key laylines before? I've never heard key laylines. I have any either. They're totally key. It's the, you know, the underlying energy currents that flow through all matter. Sure, sure, sure.

Okay. All right. Lay lines, the paths by which they flow. Yeah, key laylines, doy. Yeah, it's turn on me, Joe. No, I'm just trying. I was having a little fun. But yes, people are blissed out.

Okay, great. Have you thought it? Have you tried this on your wife? She's a hard case. Why is she a hard case? You know, you've only given me a very narrow portrait of your wife. She's a woman who needs certain colors. And that's it.

That's all I know. Do we know anything else? Do we even know her name? What's her name? No. Oh, yeah. You did say her name, but I don't recall. Was it Janice?

No, it was not Janice. Oh, okay. Who? Babe, do you remember? Of what? Boy, and George is just making us guess. He has the knowledge. He won't give it to it.

He doesn't think that I listened. So cruel. He knows full well what it is. Everybody's watching us swirmed. All right. Then at least tell us more, even if it's not her name, Pretty sure it was Sandy.

Oh, pretty sure it was Sandy. Okay, well, let's go with Sandy. Yeah, I trust you because you're married to her. What does Sandy do for a living? Sandy is a stay-at-home mom. Okay, so you have kids? Well, yes. They're no longer in the, yes.

But she's still considered her still a stay-at-home mom. The kids aren't there. She's there in case they need her. It's the hardest job you'll ever love. It's the hardest job. She has a mom and she is staying at home. That's right. Correct.

What ages are they? What are their names? 22, Keith. Great. 21. Wow. It's hard to come up with. They were only a year apart.

They were only a year apart, yes. But it still gave you pause. Irish twins, I think that's called. Oh, yes, yes. And what's the 21-year-old team? Hmm? Gene. Keith and Jean?

That was real, almost a Pio again. Pio! It's Keith and Jean. And then was that it? Or was there someone else? I think he said, okay. That's it. And that's all.

That's a wrap. Okay. That's what? that's what she said or that's what you said. That's what biology said, sister. Oh, got it. Okay. Were you older parents? Yes.

Okay. You were mature parents. As the, as my many accusers would tell you, I'm an older gentleman. Let's get to that for a second. I do want to know more about your nameless stay-at-home wife, but I want to know why. Her name is Sandy. I'm 99% certain. All right.

And we're not going back from that. Okay, we're going with Sandy. You keep saying accusers. You're very, very different. offensive about this? Is there a part of you that can understand why in this day and age, people might feel a little nervous about a man standing outside of their house photographing it? Is there any part of you that can see that? Because they're probably just looking up for their neighbors. And maybe once they hear this, they'll understand, although you're being so sort of like,

you know, defensive that now it might actually get them more scared. Listen, I, this, this neighborhood is all about, you know, informed consent. That's why I, I recommend in the post, put up a don't look. sign. Okay. Now that's, yeah, I did want to talk about that. I assume that was, only works. Don't look sign.

I assume that was tongue in cheek, but were you serious about a don't look sign? Somebody putting up a sign in front of their home that says, do not look. Like if you, you have to, you mean, you'll have to actually read the sign to see don't, do not look. It'll look like you're looking at their house anyways. It's a trap. It's a trap. Well, I'm going to be making my rounds. That is our second Admiral Akbar we've had this season.

It probably won't be our last. Is that going to be your theme this year? I don't know. The Sarlatch. They're all here. I know. It really is. You know when Etsy started making all those pillows like, it's a nap.

No. Oh, yeah. Someone started making throw pillows with his face, but it would just say, it's a nap. I hate it. They sold very well. I bet they did. Doug is upset. He didn't think of it.

I'm not a big fan of that one. Oh, really? Yeah. What's another app? rhyme that you would prefer? It's a rap for like a, you know, like a nice falafel wrap. Sure.

It's a rap. That's a good one. Okay. It's a nap that feels aggressive if you're laying your head down. I think that's why it's kind of funny, you know, that he would be announcing that, you know, which is just the gentle, you know, voice.

Sort of like, sort of like not expecting George to be able to do Reiki with his loud sort of strong voice. I think you show me. No, you took me through it. I can see how you have that side or side. Am I being a juice as this, man? I'm a man, man. Why do you keep on asking about obtuse?

I also, George, I also have to say, uh, recommending the people put up a privacy fence. Yes. Yeah, what does that mean? Well, that's a very tall fence.

I know. That's like a huge, you'd have to add, you'd probably have to pass it through the HOA. You can't, there's some cases. What didn't you understand about it then? I guess I just feel like a lot of times you don't have to say the word privacy.

You could just say fence. Well, but a fence could be, you can feel the need to hear privacy. You can have a fence where you can still see the property. Yeah. Sure. But I mean,

And if I hear fence, I really, again, the only time I hear... You go right to prison. If I hear, if I hear picket fence, that's when I hear a mid-sides. I see, I see. If you just say fence, I'm picturing six feet. What about one of those green plastic fences that was made to look like a churning fence? I hate those. I hate those so much. Oh, when I was a kid, we would climb them all over the place.

They were all over the place. All over the place. If we saw one, we had to climb it. Okay. Okay. We got good little ragamuffins and urchins climbing over every fence. see, but the whole neighborhood's coming down on old George, just for George.

But now George, but now George, Colorful Harmony. Go, what were you going to say? What were we going to say, Bert? Color harmony. I was going to say, yes, if people want privacy, that's on them to build the fence. I think that's putting too much.

We all had our hands. We did. I didn't know what was happening. I guess I'm in the mush pot. But I bet... The mush pot. You never heard that? No.

Oh, you're kidding. I don't know the mush pot. Like if you play duck, duck, duck, goose. You sit in a circle. You know duck, dog, goose. You're familiar. I know duck, duck, of course. All right.

So then what do you think happens when someone says goose? If you get gused. Yeah, what happens? If you get gused and caught. I want to hear him say it. What do you think happens when you get gouged? Oh, whoa. You have to jump up and run around and...

I know, but if you, if you get, like, like, like George said, what happens if you lose? If you lose? I assume you're banished. No, you sit in the middle of the circle and that's called the mush pot. That's the mush pot. Wow, I don't remember that at all. No, that would be violent for children. The mush pot.

If you lose duck, duck, duck, everyone jumps in the center and just bangs against each other. Some people play duck, duck, duck, but they call it duck duck, gray duck. No. Yes. And they insist that makes more sense. Is that a new barn they do that?

Oh, they, for sure they do a new bar. But yeah, I remember seeing people argue about it online. That's very easy. They try to make the case for gray duck. That's very normal. Madness. But here, let me say, getting back to the fence,

I think that is way too much to require of people to alter their house and their property. Stunned by this. His eyes are getting wider every second. It's like what I'm saying

is just insane to him. I'm seeing like into his skull a little bit. A little bit. Why his eyes are getting up his nose. This is. I got two wide eyes. My eyes seeing his sarlack pit. My lips are pursed.

I look like, I look like Doc Boy Arbuckle singing at Christmas. Oh, no, wait. Who's dog boy Arbuckle? This is one of the actual families. John Arbuckle's brother. Is he a doctor?

No. You poor, poor, Rube. No. Okay. Never been called a Rube in my own home. No. No, no. Oh, God.

Sorry. Do you understand? That's just a lot to require everybody in the neighborhood if they don't like what you're doing to put up a fence, you know? I do think that's asking a little much. In a community, it is our right.

It is a right. to walk around in a common area on the street. The only place I am, I'm there on the street. Took off a shoe. A common area. We will stay on the street. And Gabe, can you trespass with your eyes? Let me ask you this.

Yes, you can. Okay. Can you trespass with your eyes? I believe that you can. I believe that you can. In many ways. How does that make sense? My eyes are up here.

You know what I mean? That old thing. That's trespassing. Well, my eyes are out here on the other side of your property life. Okay, but you can also say in any community, it's also okay for someone, a neighbor to look outside and say, oh, there's a suspicious person. I don't like that either. I feel like that's equally their right. That is their right.

And then if they feel that way, it's fence building time. It's not, I don't, that's not the only solution. It can't just be fence building time. Now, this makes sense to me, and I'll tell you why, George. It's very fitting with how you approach things because you're talking about perfection a lot. Perfection, perfection. Now, surely you've heard the expression. Don't make perfection.

Don't make perfect the enemy of good. Joan. What was it again? Don't make perfection. Don't make perfect. Don't George Bush me. Can't get fooled again. Don't make perfect the enemy of the good.

Meaning that something that is good is good. If you keep trying to make it absolutely perfect, you're going to miss out on the fact. that it could just be good. That's salient advice. Thank you. I'm glad you finally got on my side. Which is kind of funny.

You were talking about perfection, and then you messed it up. That's good. Yeah, that's good. That's pretty funny. That's pretty good. Look, I hear you. George, I don't need you chipping on that one.

It's good. All he's trying to do. Oh, wow. I actually do feel better. Did you? Yeah. Oh, my goodness. That was such a quick session, too.

That was like almost nothing. Imagine what you get from an hour. Is it your session an hour? Hour to two hours. It depends on how long the tape is. Some are 90 minutes. Oh, you will go for as long as the tape is. That's right.

So it's one of those two. Remember when they came out with a hundred and 20 minute tape. Oh, what a mix I'm going to make. That's a long day for George, I'll tell you. That's right. So when you think of what he just said? What do you think of what he just said? What do you think of that?

Yeah. Do you see his point? I think it was good. Not perfect. Oh, boy. No. Right there. And that's, look, we're all saying the same thing.

thing. We agree. All of us are saying the same thing. I don't know about that. I'm aiming it perfect, attempting to land on good knowing that I'll never be perfect. Now, you net, okay, that George, I think that is very disingenuous. The way you've been talking this whole time is that you are in search

of nothing but perfection. Well, I have that is a lifelong search. How did that affect your children? And what do they do now? Well, we no longer speak. Not great. Absolutely afraid of that. Yeah. What was the final straw for either you or them? Yes.

Honestly, one that just kind of sticks in my mind is Gene coming up to me with one of her portraits like, Daddy, take a look at this. Like, wow, this is good. Why don't you bring it back to me when you've got it right? Oh, no. Is that the way you said it? Yes. And he mined ripping up a piece of paper when he did that. Yes.

that is terrible. I have to say. How old was she in the heartbreaking? Oh, geez. In the, in the ten, I want to say in the tense. In the tense. It's just ten.

Yeah, somewhere in the tense. Said there's ten or she's not. Okay, that's very young. That's very young to have someone who you're looking up to and you want approval from and you're just doing something nice. And you haven't spoken since then. Thanks for catching up her. Yeah.

Yeah, what happened? Did she live there? As I said, I'm an empathic energy healer. So I could really feel the energy change at that moment. Right. Hard to recover from. So Jane at the age of 10 decided I'm not talking to that guy anymore. Correct.

And what about Keith? Keith. Keith. Am I right? I thought he said Keith. I thought I said Keith. Yes, correct. Okay.

The now 22-year-old, what happened with him? Why doesn't he talk to you anymore? He insists on only speaking through, mediated through the internet, which, as I said, is not for me. moved well away from home. Oh, so you could be speaking with Keith via the Internet, but you don't like the United States. That is correct.

That's not for you. Not for me. Where does he live? And where did they both live? But Keith lives in Alaska. Okay. Wow, okay. So he really wanted to get in this room.

Very remote. Yeah. It was in a Jean made her way to San Francisco. Did she? Living the high life. Whimsical for no reason. I probably put some sauce on that. Yeah.

What's that all about? What does she do there? I was there for a brief time when I was in the Navy. Oh, man. But I'm... Oh, okay. Oh, I wish I knew what my genie was doing, but... Oh, dear.

This is... Well, have you ever tried to reach out to her? I think about it. I think about it all the time. But then I remember how much work I have to do on these absolutely horrid chutters. Oh, okay. George, how do we get you off of these chiders? I mean, go to a paint.

store, George. Seriously. What are we talking about? Just try. Just get a couple of sections, like a couple of samples of paint. Yes. And then just try in a couple sections and maybe one of them actually looks good. You know what, you no matter what, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm hot right now. No matter what, if you put a different color on there, it'll be different than what you hate right now, right? And that might just be even better. Different, better. Different is better than good. And that is from Stevenson time. Yes, a little yellow different.

I am let me try to put this Newprint commercials Stevenson didn't do that one Let me try to put this in terms that old Admiral Ackbar will understand Is he wished to him? Here we go, what? Do you think he wished he had?

No I think he thinks they stole it from him All right I'm sorry George, go ahead Let me try to put this in terms that Admiral Ackbar would understand That I'm not trying to try I'm trying to do That is precisely why I'm building a look book

That is your you're paraphrasing The Sorcerer Yoda Correct. The little green sorcerer by the name of Yoder. I'm doing my lapse of the neighborhood. Getting inspo, you understand. Okay. How long have you been doing this?

My neighbor should be flattered. Flattered. How long have you been doing? Do you say in the post? It's unbelievable it's specified in the post. What I don't understand is, you know, the neighborhood is not, where do you live? What neighborhood do you live in? I live on Coolidge Parkway.

Coolidge Parkway. Okay. That's not, and I know that tracked very well. It's not huge. I mean, how much more do you have to walk around and look at people's houses?

If you've looked at 50 houses three times, you've looked at them enough. You even took some pictures sometimes, it says. How much more do you need to be out there? Aren't you done? I mean, didn't you see it all? You know, there's little nuances that you catch each time.

Like what? What are you missing? What's something new? Different color harmonics. Different color harmony. Yeah, color harmony. It all comes back to color harmony, I guess. Indeed.

Color harmony. Color harmony. Color harmony. Head on. Oh, no, no, no, no. No, no. That's right. Oh, God.

And in many ways, the facade of a house is the forehead of the house. And I'm applying my gaze directly to the forehead. I can't disagree with that. I can't. Now that I've heard it, I can't disagree with it. Now I want you to apply paint directly to its forehead. Okay, that's what we want you to do. Well, I will once I've been appropriately inspired.

I'm just thinking what do you need more to be inspired? You walked around, you looked at everyone's houses. I know you're talking about nuances. I guess you're the experts. I guess you're the energy experts. I guess you think that I'm sublimating my anger at my own children by pouring my energy. He did quote question marks for every single one of the words. I'm pouring this energy.

Now he's using all his fingers. Yes, he looks like he's squeezing. Home renovations in order to salvage whatever energy there is in the relationship I have between my wife whose name is tenuously remembered at best. Oh, no. Are things not well between you and your wife? Things could be a lot better if the color harmonics could change. I don't think it's just that, George.

How much time do you spend together you guys go out on dates? What do you do? Boy, the thrill is really hanging by a thread. Oh, I've never heard it's a surprise quite that way. But not gone. Not entirely gone. In some ways you can say hanging by a thread is still rather exciting. There's a there's a gossamer thin thread, much like a much like the chords that are

that we've all learned today are in the human thoughts. wrote. Oh, yes, that's right. Did BB King coined the phrase, the thrill is gone? Burnt I'm not the person to ask that question, too. Whoever did, I mean, what a devastating thing to hear. Somebody said that to you? Oh, shattering.

Foof, really paints a picture. Well, what do you like about her? Oh, this is not my... Love her. Give me a second. Give me a second. He says so much before he says anything at all. He's getting on the ground. He's getting on the ground.

Get a couple of these buttons. undone here. He's getting on the ground. He's taking off his pants. Thanksgiving style. Oh, boy, so good coming to me here. Are you okay? You can't think of anything that you... Well, you got me all worked up. Okay. I'm sorry that a question of what do you like about your wife was a problem. I'm hearing the stocks in the center of town with everybody throwing their slings and arrows

at yours truly just because I'm taking some landscape style photos of their front lawns. George, you are one of the most defensive people. we've ever had on the show. That is absolutely true. It is exhausting. You know who you remind me of? Craig Conover from Southern Charm. It's everybody's fault but yours. I don't know that show, but you're right, Bernd. That's what it sounds like. Never know that show, John. I don't want to. I don't want to. You make it sound terrible. Stay cold, pony boy. Oh, boy. So I think that that is true. I think that, you know, you can't hear when people are trying to help you, but also you don't really even want to directly answer a question. It almost seems like you're hiding a lot more than just being

in a certain choir. It does feel that way. I'm sorry to say. I'm saying that there might be some some unresolved personal issues. 100%. Oh, 100%. Just kind of my way

of navigating the world that has been a long and complicated house of cards. Oh. A long and complicated house of cards. A long and complicated with shutters that you hate. I get it.

Oh, ghastly. Gasly. Keep saying ghastly. I can't picture a yellow that would be ghastly if I'm being honest. Oh, I guess. can.

I can. Okay, what, what yellow? Oh, that sort of green yellow. You know what I mean? Well, that's different. That's like, doesn't it have some word like puse? What did you? Okay, but it's a shade of, bless you.

Doug. In response to puse? Is that what I guess you? I think so. I think so. That would be a cute sneeze. I guess you can, I guess you can see how that might have. Happens.

No one or two people who sneeze like that. I never trust people who sneeze like that. Like how dare you don't sneeze adorable like that. A sneeze is violent. Sneeses are incredibly violent. I think you can train yourself to sneeze a certain way. Yeah, remember I worked on it for a while. Oh yeah, that's right.

You were trying to be in charge of your sneezes. That is right. You tried to leave a voicemail where you were going to sneeze and go, uh, uh, and it goes, it's before you ever get to the chew. Everyone loves it. Yes, everyone loves it. By the thrill is gone.

Here's a 1931 Broadway tune by Henderson and Brown. Would you look at that bird? Broadway again. Not the same song, but at least the phrase goes. That's as far back as we can date the phrase. Yes, as far back.

There you go. George, this is normally the point in the podcast where we feel like we've helped someone or we wish them luck, but I feel like we went in circles a lot. I'm spiraling. I'm going in circles around the neighborhood. Just trying to get my ticker straight.

Let me ask you this. Also, what about that? Why do you think your ticker's bad? The doctor, tell you that it's bad? Have you been in to see someone? Yes, the doctor told me that the daily walks were necessary. I'm sorry if I didn't hear that part.

Doc boy? No, babe, that's a fake animated cartoon. Doc boy is not a doctor. He's John Arbuckle's brother. Bumpkin brother. Yes, yes. There's overalls. No doctor has ever worn overalls and they never will. Doc boy stayed at home on the family farm. John

Arbuckle went away to the big city to make something of himself. I'm going to say something to George. I want you to hear this if he's nothing else at all. What city does Garfield take place? I don't know. This I don't know. I have no idea. My God. Well, you just put us all into a dark void, burnt, with that.

I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to. George, I'm going to say it again. How do you say it? You guys? Moncy, Indiana. Muncie, Indiana. Is that true? Yeah. That sounds about right, actually. That sounds about right. Okay. I've been to Muncie. All right. So, here's the thing. If you're worried about your ticker, I'm going to tell you right now, the stress that you are putting on that ticker, getting so defensive, getting so worked up, spiraling about these colors, that is what is going to hurt your ticker. I'll tell you right now, and I want you to hear that from me.

I think you need to, Reiki healer, heal thyself. Oh! I think you need to go. I don't know why you just punch, burnt in the stomach. Let me tell you something, George. Back off. You have, don't look. I'm staying on my side.

Don't look. I'm not looking at you. Don't look. I do not give you permission to look. You have been, for a guy who's worried about his heart health, you have been apoplectic on this podcast, no less than, I'm going to say 50 times. Correct. So do you, can you hear what I said?

Do you understand how maybe sometimes you get worked up and probably doesn't feel well? Is that penetrating at all? I'm hearing. I'm absorbing. You feel like headed. It doesn't make you feel good. That's what's making you sick. I'm hearing.

I'm, absorbing. Good. Good. Yeah. Yeah. My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my emotions, not connected to, um, home renovation, but maybe dealing with some deeper, emotional,

unresolved issues. All right. You're swallowing a lot, okay? I never seen somebody swallowing that much. But that was the calmest I've seen, the longest I've seen him calm in this whole entire year. It did seem like he was trying not to lose his mind.

I know, but I think it's still a start. I think you need to start breathing more, swallowing less. And I... What is it, Hamilton? For he more. Swallowing less. Yeah.

Ah. So my own personal Aaron Burr over here. Okay. Now, you George? Wow, I've never, wow. Usually I hear that with peanut butter in someone's mouth. What? Aaron Burr.

Oh, Aaron Burr, yeah, the commercial. Good job, okay. Got milk. Good job. Listen, you are inimitable. You are an original. Would you have solved that problem? All right?

And I want you to know that. You don't have to be like anyone else. Joan will not engage with that. I'm sorry. I didn't hear it. It's okay. You were doing the right thing. Well, I was talking.

You were doing the right thing. I was a long thing. But you're not going to tell me we did it. Okay, I'll hear it later because I'll listen to the podcast. I know you don't listen to the podcast. In the next segment, I'll take it. Okay, great. So did you hear what I said?

You are enough and you don't have to worry about getting the perfect kind of paint. Yes. Just get a paint color that is different and see where that takes you. Just take one tiny step. Okay? I suppose there's some, it's moving toward perfection. This is now making just as scared. This is like a scary energy, just as bad as the...

It is. And the way he's trying to put the pedals back on the flowers is weird. Make it right. Make it perfect. Make it pretty. Make it pretty. Sorry, I'm going to put these headphones in. I need a little decompression.

Okay. All right. George... I don't mind you coming here. Wasting all my time. George can no longer hear us. So we're going to say thank you to George. He needs help.

And I don't think the cars are going to do it this time. If you see him looking at your house, honestly, just know that he means no harm and stay inside. Yes. And that he's more miserable than you can ever be about him looking at your house. And he really, he's hurting himself, not you, okay? So don't, don't worry. Do you think he's going to get the part where they go, time, time? I sure hope so because that's my favorite part.

Oh, we got that. Oh, good. Now we can go. All right. We'll be back with the neighbor listen. When the neighbor listen returns. Talking in your sleep. I guess you're just what I'm just for that.

They did it. I need someone to pee. This is Rosie. I have a free manora for free. It's elegant silver-colored manora with intricate design. Good solid metal, not silver, but nice. Free manora. Free manora.

Foo, free, free, free, free, free, free, free, free. Woo! Foo, for, for free monora. Free monora. Free monora. Freemadora. Is there another one? Um, free. Free Manora is free.

Free manora is free. It is good solid metal. Not silver but nice. I'm having fun. And I hope you're having fun. Listening to me having fun. Welcome back to the neighborhood. That guy.

That was fast. That guy was so exhausting. He really, I feel like I just like, like I've been doing laps around the neighborhood. And, you know, it's always hard when you ask a question, someone looks like you're crazy. That's all he did to every question. Oh, my goodness. So what I said. Okay.

I would you say that I missed. When Doug referenced the famous Got Mill Commercial, Aaron Burr, the person's trying to, it's like a phone contest. Yes, it's a contest. Yep, you have to call in. He's trying to say Aaron Burr, but his mouth is full of peanut butter. And his whole entire life has been studying this. He's obviously got a picture of it. His whole office is dedicated to this one.

I don't even remember that level of detail. Oh, yes, it is. They zoom in on the bullet. It's like he spent his whole life studying this. The bullet? They really set the scene well. Oh, my God. Yes.

I'm not saying it's the real bullet. How would he come to have that? I'm not saying it's the real bullet, but he has it all recreated. But the commercial is saying that. Probably. So he finally gets his chance. to say the name Aaron Burr, which is going to change his life.

But his mouth is full of, like, packed with peanut butter. Yes. He's eating a peanut sandwich? Yes, correct. Which that's demented. I know. We're assuming there's nothing else in there to break it up. That's for children to try and realize it's not a good idea.

And that's when you're like, well, that's why we put jelly. What you mean to eat a peanut butter sandwich? Yeah, just dry, just without anything else. No jelly, no honey. That's not enjoyable. No. Oh, okay. You like that, babe?

Of course. Of course. You know what? Of course. Of course. Yeah. Do you think that maybe if Aaron Burr could know that if he had any kind of awareness in this universe that he's so happy that Hamilton came along because other than that, he would have

been only known as peanut butter guy. Absolutely. And now he's known as this awesome rapping, singing Tony Award winning. Yeah. Who's Aaron Burr? Oh, he's the murderer that the kid was trying to say in that commercial for milk. Yeah. He's in the duel.

Yes. He's in the duel, babe. That's right. Okay. So my question is, would milk have helped in that situation? You're just pouring milk on to... I forgot we were talking about got milk.

You're pouring milk onto just a solid wall of peanut butter. I don't think it's not... It doesn't have disillusion property. It dissolves peanut butter like acid. It does it. That's not true, Dutch. Here's what I'm going to say. The first thing I would reach for is not milk, right?

Obviously, it's going to be water anything. I wish for a spoon to, scrape it out of my mouth. You would? If this was so important. You gotta watch out of your sarlatch. We all do. You reach it down too far.

We all have to watch out of our sarlatches. I think Aaron Burr would be blown away that milk would be such a big deal. Because he probably, you know, they just get it everywhere. You think you probably accept TV faster?

Yeah. The concept of advertising for milk? Aaron Burr, this is television. Okay, what else? I'm going to show you an advertisement for milk. Okay. Then he looks at the advertising.

He's like, wow, milk is that popular. Yeah, they've commoditized this. All right, we have time for one more post. Yes. Just, uh, George. I know. I know. He was really upsetting.

And he really did destroy all my flowers. He really did. Are you okay, by the way? Because he really got you good in the gut. He really, who dined me? He's lucky my appendix didn't burst. I think by comparison, he'll have a harder time getting back in the choir than me. Probably as long as you stop talking about it right now, babe, okay?

I read the fine print of the contract. You did? I don't actually get kicked out for this. Okay. But I have to run the gauntlet, the whistle gauntlet. Oh, that is hard. Yeah, there's kind of like skiing, skeet shooting at the same time while I'm whistling. You have to maintain a whistle.

Who were you being? What? Who were you being just then? Snow White. She sings it? I believe she does. Yes. Just whizel while you work.

Who else sounds like that in Snow White? I thought the dwarfs. They sing hi-ho. They only get one song? Yes. But she's not the one whistling. This is an old Disney movie. Everybody only gets one song.

And no sequels. What other songs? Oh, say, someday my prince will come. Is that in there? Yes. There's only basically three. Whistle while you work. That's right.

Right, that's it. That's about it. Okay. You know. All right. We have time for one more post. This comes to us from Alessio. This is in the for sale and free section. This is free.

Alessio writes, have you been neglected long? The headline is, Husband for a Day service. Oh. Free. Okay. Have you been neglected long enough? Husband refuses to finish your honey-do list? Call me.

I'll do it all for you. need someone to serve you what can I take care of at your home I'm might handy handy man if you will but with a twist I can do it all do you need a faucet changed

then he goes to need your back rubbed oh wow I can do your dirty laundry it's starting to sound kinkier and kinky I could do your dirty laundry what is that weird alling

your hero baby that's what I thought Okay. Maybe just someone to talk to. Let me change the oil on your car. Have a desk that needs to be assembled. Have some projects or needs that your husband has been neglecting. I'm here to serve you.

Now this guy. You just have a dust that needs to be? A desk. Okay. That needs to be assembled. Okay. All right. Have some projects or needs that your husband has been neglecting.

I'm here to serve you. My gosh. Now, Alessio is clearly, this is a, I guess, solicitation. It's a cry for help, is it a reverse solicitation? Solicit me. I think he's so lonely.

Also, again. I think lonely is a generous read, Joan. Okay, what do you really think is going on? This guy wants to have sex with people's wives. Penetrative? Any kind.

It looks like he's down. On their desk after he's assembled it. Yes. Yes, right. After he's changed all the oil on the car. On the car. I don't like. this at all. No, I don't like it at all.

This is wild. Does he actually think anyone's going to respond to him? I mean. The sad thing is, somebody probably will. Yeah, probably. What does his profile pick look like? What is his what? His profile? His profile. I know.

He does not. He has a picture that is just it's a picture of his shoulders down. What? It goes from shoulders to ankles. I swear to got men don't. This Are you joking?

If you click on it, though, would it be bigger? That's just the thumbnail. No. What is wrong with men? You know, I helped my friend try to get on some of these dating apps one time. Men don't know how to take a picture. They literally don't. They refuse to know.

Faceless or it's them like passed out at a party. That's the picture that they chose. It's like they're not even trying. Meanwhile, women go and like spend hundreds of dollars to get their right profile pick, you know? And this, this. Who sounds like they're coming out of head? The men.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. That's my point. So it's not that they don't know how. No, you're saying they're doing it a purpose. Well, that's still wrong. Well, that makes me furious. It makes me furious.

Well, it should. And here's the thing. Well, it does. My favorite kind of profile picture is when there's multiple people in the picture. Yes, yes. And you have to say, I don't know. What is this game? Maybe she'll think I'm the attractive one.

Now, I understand there's some people on the dating apps, some men on the dating apps, some men on the dating apps will have a picture of them and another woman. Give me a break. Oh. That's so typical. How ridiculous. Do you think that's proof of concept? Yeah, proves they've been around the blog.

She didn't mindstanding this to me for a second? It's like if you lived here, you'd be home by now. Sort of. I would need to see an actual marriage certificate and then citing the reasons for not being together anymore. Just so that there was proof. Better be death. Better be death. There's no other acceptable, like either there's some egregious story where,

you got to take an in by someone, that's not good. Well, you're dumb. I don't want to be with you. You mean, oh, that person was kind of like a con person. Yes. Okay. Yeah. Or you were the problem.

Yes. Well, that's what I would need. I mean, I can't even imagine being out there in the world again. In the streets. Yeah. Every time, you know, Doug and I have a fight, I just think, well, it's better than having to look at that guy's body without a face. How does that make you feel, Doug?

Not the best. our fights aren't bad at all. No, I just mean like, I just mean sometimes, listen, marriage is hard, okay? It's hard. Is whatever? Exactly. I mean, you understand you ran away from it the first time.

And I'm not saying that to like indict you. I'm just saying you clearly understand that marriage can be intimidating. You might have been afraid of it. I get it. I honestly don't know what was going on with me. Yes, I was afraid of marriage. I don't think I understood what it entailed and I think I just was out ready. It means it's not going to be perfect all the time because life isn't perfect all the time, right?

And when things aren't perfect and when we're down, we start thinking, oh, what if? And then it's like immediately, I'm just being honest here. You don't want to turn into a George. Immediately, I think, I don't. Immediately I think, oh, absolutely. I'm so grateful even, I'm grateful for the fights because it's better than being back alone. I'm so glad that my husband Doug has a head and feet. I'm so glad you do, babe.

And it's a great head and feet. Most of the time, the fights are because she can't find me in the house. Like I'll just be, I forget that I've been gone. I don't know. my keys. I don't blame her for that, but this place is too big. It's way too big.

We're not playing the blame game. No blame. The rigid finger of blame is not pointed. The rigid finger of blame, boy. You really love that phrase. Well, that does it for this episode of the name of request. What? Oh, for whistles?

Oh, yeah. To whistle us out? Whistle a while you work? What about the bridge of the, oh, okay. I was going to ask for like a classic whistle song. Like the Bridge of the River, why? Is that the same thing?

Yes. Yes. Can you that one? Which? You know what? Here's how I'll get him to understand it. The breakfast club song that they whistle. Oh,

did they whistle that during the breakfast song? They do. Yes, they do. I remember nothing about that movie. Oh, that's a good one. It is. It goes to classic. They make your feet feel fine. Bobos.

They cost a dollar 99. Wait, what is that? Bobos. What are Bobos? That was a song. That's a weird howling of Colonel Bogies March. Oh, that's amazing. To make fun of off-brand shoes.

Okay, that's fun. Yeah. Well, we're going to leave you with that. Some people also saying, Comet, it makes your teeth turn green. Oh, I remember that. That's right. It tastes like gasoline. That's correct.

Joan Rivers used to play off her shows that way. It's absolutely true with that song. Wait, with the Comet version? I believe so, but it's also... Who recorded that? But I think she just called at that. I think it was just a whistle. I can more normal...

normalize the recording of the baby back ribs song. Having seen video of that, I'm like, okay, that's kind of fun to see them. I can't imagine somebody in a recording studio. Can I go again? Comet. Can I go again?

What was the thing you said last time, babe? Can I get more something in the track? Can I get more common in the track? Can I get more common in the track? All right. Well, there you have it. All right. Thank you for listening.

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There you go. That's it. What do you say, Bert? Goodbye. And bye. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed. The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins.

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And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast, That Was Us, now on Head Gum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show, This Is Us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors. Are we going to cry? Yes.

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