The Neighborhood Listen - Keep An Eye Out with Suzi Barrett

Episode Date: November 26, 2024

Burnt explains his difficult night, Joan finally has a title for her one woman holiday show, and Doug takes orders. Later, Glenda follows up on her ominous post in the Crime & Safety section of the NeighborhApp.Want more TNL? Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for the Maximus plan to unlock access to all seasons ad-free, as well as brand new exclusive BONUS ROOM episodes adventuring deeper into Dignity Falls!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

With the $5 meal deal at McDonald's, you pick a McDouble or a McChicken, then get a small fry, a small drink, and a four-piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money. Price and participation may vary for a limited time only. Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker.

On this podcast, we improvise and character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website. Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad free archive as well as exclusive monthly episodes of The Bonus Room, go to cbbworld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership.

And now please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. Knock, knock. Who's there? Your neighbor. Good. In Dignity Falls, you're never alone. Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor! Good! In Dignity Falls, you're never alone You've got the Neighbor Half app and us!

Burn! And Joan! From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell We'll cover it all! And meet new neighbors as well! We'll chat about any posts you're missing So just tune in to the Neighborhood Listen. Welcome once again to the Neighborhood Listen.

This is the podcast that explores the neighborhood of Dignity Falls. That's our neighborhood. And maybe you have a neighborhood that you're proud of, like we are proud of ours. Who are we? Well, I'll tell you. My name is Bernie Appede. I am the pharmacist in chief

at the Dignity Falls Fallsmasy. And I'm Joan Podestri in the top realtor here in Dignity Falls. And I have to tell you, that was like, that was like a voiceover for a commercial. Like it's morning in America. Was it really? Yes. The way that you came. Well, not like that one. But I'm sorry, it's the first one that came to my mind. Is that bad? American cartridge. Oh no.

Oh no, no, just the exact opposite. Almost like it was an insurance ad, you know, for like, we've got you, we've got you. Oh sure, sure. Forget that first part. I'm a little low energy today, I guess. Right, and I wouldn't say that that. I didn't get low energy.

I wouldn't say that that. Pfft. Why would you? Why would anyone? I didn't. Does that make sense? I swear that I did. But I wouldn't say low energy,

but different energy, you know. A low would imply maybe something negative, which I thought was just very intimate. It was an intimate energy that you were bringing. Well, I appreciate that you wouldn't say that. That I appreciate that you interpret it that way way. But what I'm doing is I'm telling you that I have low energy. Oh, why? What happened?

I didn't I didn't sleep well. Oh, no. Yeah. And, you know, Gabby was over and I was tossing and turning so much that she went home. Oh, my goodness. Yes. Gabby, of course, your girlfriend. That's right. How long has it been now for the two of you? I feel like it's been a year and some change. I guess something like that.

Yeah. Yeah. So she left. Did you see her go? Were you aware that she left? Oh, yes. No. She told me I was awake.

In no uncertain terms. She was like. She said I have to go because I have, you know, tomorrow we're anticipating a lot of fires. Oh, that's right. Because it's the fall and this is when everybody sets their piles of leaves on fire. That's right. And it's kind of like bonfire night in the UK. Still do it. It's illegal, but it's accepted. The cops don't do anything about it. The fire department, of course, has to shoulder their whole,

like the cops can watch people set fires. But for the fire department, of course, it's a lot of work and most of them, of course, don't appreciate that. No, they don't. The cops as usual just stand and watch it happen and go, that's gonna be a lot of paperwork. Yeah, exactly.

And never do it anyway. Yeah, and then the firemen show up, they get an argument with the cops. And that, I think it contributes be a lot of paperwork. And then you never do it anyway. Yeah. And then the firemen show up, they get in arguments with the cops. And that, that I think it contributes to a lot of the fires burning for longer than they should. Absolutely. So, so this is what, so Gabby, is this is like her, her time to shine.

It's her busy season. Yeah, her busy season. It's the busiest day of the year for her. What? Indignity falls. Why do you think that you couldn't sleep? Well I was having strange dreams. I think I might be anxious about something.

Oh dear. And I was, I kept, they were all stress dreams. Do you know what I mean? Oh I absolutely do. I was back in my old high school and I had a test that I didn't study for. I was in heaven, I was meeting God and I had to account for all my sins. I was looking for a penny that I dropped, couldn't find it anywhere.

That's the most harrowing one you've said. I look everywhere and I went from the house where I grew up to my old high school. But was it your high school but not? Did you know what I mean? You know, it's like your high school but doesn't quite look like your high school even though you know it's your high school. You've had that happen in a dream. Yes, yes, yes. I knew it was my high school in the dream.

I knew it was my high school. But nothing was quite right. But it was your home. It was. Well, you spend so much time here, it makes sense. It's true, it's true. Yeah, I have those dreams all the time, you know, that I like win the Tony award and I get up to speak

and I can't say anything, you know? Oh no. you know, and I've forgotten my lines for accepting my award. You know, do you have to say something when you win when you win the award? First of all, no one's watching anyway at home. The Tony's? Yes. Well, you got me watching the Tony's. I know, I know. You got me watching the Tony's and I don't understand any of it.

I've never heard of these shows. If you ever mentioned it to me, I have no idea what it is. You just get little snippets of something and you're like, what just happened? I feel like there's always so much Neil Patrick Harris. There used to be. I miss him to be honest. Oh really? Yeah, they switched it up a bit. Yeah, I don't think you've watched in a while.

No, I haven't. Who's in chart now? Ariana DeVos. All the time. Every time. Who is that? Well, if I say to you, Angela Bassett did the thing, does that help you? It absolutely does. I loved it. I don't know if she'd be happy with that, but yes. I loved that. Yeah, it was great. It was good. It was instantly iconic.

It was instantly iconic. She tore it up, as they say. She ate and left no crumbs. That sounds very natural coming out of your mouth. Yeah. And it reminded me of course of, you know, Madonna's Vogue rap. Ah, yes. I think there was a little tip of the hat to that. There must have been. There must have been.

There must have been. So yes, I, listen, a lot of people just sort of say a quick thank you, but some people talk about how, hey, if this could happen for me, trust me, it could happen for you. Which is not, that's not really true. It's not great. But I understand that if you're standing there,

it makes a lot of sense to you. But you have to say, look, if this could happen for me, there's a number of you this could happen to. You think they should qualify for that? Yeah. So everyone watching, some people go, aw, am I one of the few? Some people know that they're not though,

but not me, right? They say it to the camera. I mean, they say it to the screen. That's right. Yes, well, I understand stress streams. And why do you think you're having stress streams? Is there something going on stressful at work at the falls, Missy? Oh, goodness, I was not expecting this.

You know what I I'm I did not connect it until you said that really but yes, there is something stressful going on at work. What is it? Well, I might be fired. Oh, whoa, this is a bombshell. Oh, dear is a bombshell. Oh dear. What? Bernd, you are pharmacist in chief. I know someone. You are at the top of the food chain. Someone has accused me.

Oh. Anonymously accused me. Okay. Of some chicanery. Okay. Of some chicanery. Okay. With the filling of the pill bottles. Is this because of all the fallout from the pharmacist parade? You know, it could be related. I think it might be. It could be related. And there could be somebody, there could be an all about heave in my midst.

Somebody who's... An all about heave? Oh. Yeah. You've never seen that? Do you know all about heave? I've never seen that. I've never seen that.

I've never seen that. I've never seen that. I've never seen that. I've never seen that. I've never seen that. I've never seen that. I've never seen that. I've never seen that. I've never seen that. I've never seen that. I've never seen that. I've never seen that. It could be related and there could be somebody, there could be an all about heave in my midst. An all about heave?

Oh yeah. You've never seen that? Do you know all about heave? If you go listen back to that, I will say you can hear there's an H in front of it. Yeah, they're on purpose. You're not familiar with all about heave? No, sorry. I'm not familiar with All About Eve. It's a great drama from the 50s and it's all about stevedores. Guys working down in the docks and there's a... Eve ho and what not. Yes, exactly. And there's a sort of elder statesman of the stevedores,

a legend. And then there's this young stevedorer. Upstart, like a young, hungry stevedorer. Who seems very innocent, corn-fed kind of golly gee whiz. That's how it always starts. But then turns out he's a bit devious. He's looking to become the top stevedore. Such a relatable story.

There's the immortal line of course. Go ahead. Hang on to your beat hooks. It's going to be a heavy night. Oh, okay. Yeah. That doesn't necessarily, that became an iconic line. Well for that movie, okay. That doesn't necessarily, that became an iconic line? Well, for that movie, yes. Every line, every movie has an iconic line for that movie.

I suppose so. What is it for arbitrage? I mean, there's so many. I've arbed. That's right. I've arbed. When he takes the noun and turns it into a verb. That's right. Oh my word. That's the, that's the line I call it. You have a young pharmacist, a young corn fed pharmacist that seems to be very hungry for climbing up that ladder. Yes.

Who is this person? Can you name them? His name is Chiswick. Okay. That's his first name. Very Dickensian. Yes, his last name is Kerwin. And he, I don't trust him. Yeah, I wouldn't trust that name. I've trusted him from the moment he was hired.

And I did not want to hire him. Okay. But it was the owner of the falsemacy who decided he needed to have a job. Oh, wow. And I don't know what this, she's what has on the owner of the pharmacy. Cornelius Cornwall? Yeah. Okay. Well, wow. And I don't know what this, she's what has on the owner of the pharmacy. Cornelius Cornwall?

Yeah. Okay. Well, he's also a mysterious guy. He is. I thought I saw him the other day. You did. Many people think they see him. No one actually knows what he looks like.

No. He's always in the pharmacist's parade, but he's completely concealed. That's true. That's right. And everyone swears they got to look at him. Someone said they got to look at him. I know.

I could have sworn the vision fades over time. You know, and someone did I see? Well, what did I see? Maybe I just saw a plastic bag floating in the sky. It could have been Cornelius. And so I don't know what's going on here, but I do think that and, you know, a lot of people are not taking this seriously.

They're saying, well, of course, Burton wouldn't do that. Why would he do that? Right. What was the actual pill bottle crime that you supposedly committed or? That I'm sometimes setting the machines to put in one pill less and sometimes setting them to put in one pill more. Now have people been complaining that that has actually happened? Like are they not getting their full prescription and they're coming back in and saying, hey, I'm one pill more. Now have people been complaining that that has actually happened? Like are they not getting their full prescription

and they're coming back in and saying, hey, I'm one pill short. We've received anonymous complaints, which of course I feel like we should just dismiss them out of hand. Why would anyone anonymously complain about their prescription? You keep saying anonymous,

but you think you know it's Chiswick. Is this what you're saying? I know it's him. Yes, he's using different- Have these people calling him with different voices? He's using different handwriting, different accents. He's using different handwriting, different accents, different typewriter sets.

Oh, wow! Yeah, sometimes he is raised, sometimes he's lowered. This is a campaign. This guy you think in his basement has like a bunch of red yarn strung across your face. What would that indicate? My death? Like there's blood on my face? I think so, I think you know what I mean. Wow, I didn't thought he was trying to kill me, but you really got me wondering now. My death There's blood on my face

Father was trying to kill me, but you really got me wondering now babe. We haven't checked in with Doug I don't need to say about this. My husband Doug is recording in another room. Where are you today, babe? Oh Geez, I'm actually out. I'm a grocery shopping. What you're recording the podcast while you grocery shop Yeah, you guys need anything? No, for you to come back home and record in a quiet space. I thought the whole reason that you recorded in different rooms was for the sound quality. How can you hear anything we're saying?

That actually sounds pretty good out here. What sounds good? You can hear us? Oh yeah, I'm listening, I'm following along. I'm still doing the podcast. Don't worry about the podcast. Don't worry about the podcast. So you're walking up and down the aisles shopping? Yeah.

Yeah. I'm not standing still. Doug, describe to me your mobile setup. Well, you know, a shopping cart. I do know my normal, you know, I'm kind of like a confectioner with my setup. A confectioner? I'm sorry. Are you thinking of like when you look in the window and you watch people making Taffy apples confectioner with my setup. A confectioner? I'm sorry.

Are you thinking of like when you look in the window and you watch people making taffy apples or saltwater taffies? How is your talking about? I got the tray, you know, it's a mobile tray. What? Tree? Or like the cigarette girl. Like cigarette girl. We've talked about this before.

Yeah. Yes, we have. But this is actually very comfortable. He has a mobile tray. Yes, which actually seems a lot less complicated than the system you use at home It's nice to pair it down it's loud are you Costco this sounds like a very large no Echoing you're shopping for a coffin. Are you Oh bear dear? Oh beer. Oh, I'll get some beer Good call Joe for any and slip there Putting that on my tongue twisters this morning. No, I'm at DF Delicacies.

Oh no, DF Delicacies. I don't know. It's so overpriced, babe. They have fish food for escrow. They say it's overpriced. Doug is convinced that escrow now needs fish food. It's because he doesn't have any teeth. I mean, I'm talking about the Ben and Jerry's fish food.

Because you don't have any teeth. I'm talking about the Ben and Jerry's fish food. I'm talking about the Ben and Jerry's fish food. I'm talking about the Ben and Jerry's fish food. I'm talking about the Ben and Jerry's fish food. I'm talking about the Ben and Jerry's fish food. I'm talking about the Ben and Jerry's fish food. I'm talking about the Ben and Jerry's fish food. I'm talking about the Ben and Jerry's fish food. I'm talking about the Ben and Jerry's fish food. I'm talking about the Benrow now needs fish food. It's cause he doesn't have any teeth. I'm talking about the Ben and Jerry's fish food.

Cause he doesn't have any teeth. Doesn't have any teeth. That's right. But aren't there crunchy bits in the fish food or no? I think that Doug takes them out. He lovingly takes them out. Do you strain the ice cream? Well, a little bit for daddy, you know.

Are you daddy? You're daddy in this scenario. I don't know what's got into me. Crunchy bits. A little treat for me. All right, babe, it is very distracting. Honestly, that sound I have to say. But did you hear this about Burns?

Uh, he didn't. He didn't. He didn't. You're not paying attention. He's comparing cereals now. He wants to get a sugar cereal. Do you need sour cream? He does.

Do we need sour cream? No, and that's nowhere near the cereal aisle. What are you talking about? Well, that was just a guess on my part. I think you're right. The thing about DF, you know, whatever Doug said, what's it called again? Delicacies and dramamine. The thing about DF delicacies and dramamine is that they brag about how overpriced they are.

Yes, they do. You're right. That is, it's what it says underneath. Like instead of like quality, you can taste says we're overpriced, you know? Yeah. Can you afford it? It's a, it's a dare. The sign wraps around the building. It says quality, you can taste. We're overpriced. Can you afford it? Well, this is, I know, I know we're giggling about that, but this is no laughing matter burn about what are you going to do?

Are you going to hire like a private investigator to see if you can? Absolutely. That's Joan. That's exactly what I'm going to do is hire a private investigator. I think you should. I don't, I don't see what else I can do. Because you don't want. Because you don't want to go around accusing this young upstart because it could look like you're jealous or you're afraid you're going to lose your positioning. Of course.

You have to be subtle about this. Of course. Of course. But I am under review, as they say. Oh no, because of this. Yes, that's right. So wait, do you sense that people aren't on your side? Do you think that people really believe it's you?

I think that most people are on your side? Do you think that people really believe it's you? I think that most people are on my side. I do think that some people are just easily led and they're starting to wonder. Gosh, that must be a terrible environment to go into right now. It's not great. It's not great. Well, you know, I'm starting to have stress dreams.

Can I talk about myself for a minute? Sure. Doug, how about myself for a minute? Sure. Doug, how are we doing on time? We got plenty. Okay, good. Yeah, there we go. Joan, the floor is yours. I'm not sure what question he thinks he's answering because I don't think he's paying

attention. He's not paying attention at all. Good luck to you. Okay. That's a sign, Dallas. Good luck to you. He thinks we're at the end of the podcast because he knows we say that to our guests. I'm about to start having stress dreams too, because you know, I've started to start having them because I'm going into a new show and I know this is when it always starts.

As you know, I was approached to, I'm too stressed out about doing my one woman hamlet called Herlit. And I, and I decided that I'm going to table that for now. You okay? Brent almost spilled an entire glass of hot coffee. Yeah. I love it in a glass.

I know you do. I love it. I love it. I don't mean one of those Irish coffee glass mugs. I mean a glass. He reaches for a very tall tumbler. That's right. And pours it up to the very top.

And I always think, oh, it's going to spill, you know. I love a hurricane full of hot black coffee. And you know what? You could drink it New Orleans style. You can walk down the street with it. They can't stop you. It's coffee. That's one of the little quirks I love about you.

Anyhow, so I'm tabling that because Dindy Falls Repertory, we had a great meeting and because they don't have anything for Christmas, they don't have a holiday show, it's just a holiday. They don't have a holiday show. Even though it will be Christmas songs and stuff. Mostly will. But they will call it a holiday show.

Well, in this case, because I'm doing a Time Honor Classic, a Christmas Carol, but I said, how about I do this as a one woman show? And I had kind of a fun framework I thought for it. So it's called, I mean, like if you see the sign, it's a Christmas comma Carol. And I played Carol. Oh, I get it.

Carol Scrooge, right? And she- Carol Scrooge. And you know, we lean right into it. You know, she's like, I know, I lean right into it. You know, she's like, I know, I know my last name is the same name as the guy. I'm not like the guy in the book. Let me ask you this.

She's very aware. Okay. In the world of Carol Scrooge, is A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens a book or? Yes. It's a book. Okay. It's a book. Yep. She just happens to have the last name Scrooge.

But there's of course no relation. No relation. Did I have to research this? You might, oh, you don't want to get sued. I don't. But also I want to make sure that there's someone out there with the last name Scrooge, right? There's gotta be.

I don't think so. It doesn't matter. I think there's some last names. It's a work of fiction. It's a fun work of fiction involving a real work of fiction. Right. Based on a real work of fiction. So Carol's like, I know.

Yeah, she's like, I know. And she's like Forbes top 100. She's very rich. She's very powerful. She's- Entered into this. She wants- Now, can I ask,

would it make some sense? I don't like the way that question's beginning. Well, because what I'm suggesting might not make any sense at all. Okay. It just feels like you're implying that there's a search for some sense. No, no, no. Isn't any right now? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay.

Phew, because I've already pitched it. They've already started the marketing campaign. I think this is practically airtight. Okay. Good, because I'm like all in right now. But what if in the world of Carol Scrooge, Ebenezer Scrooge was a real person and she is a descendant of Ebenezer Scrooge. I thought about that. I thought about that. And you know what I think I'm going to do? I think that might be the reveal at the end. That like the ghost of like the ghost of Christmas, which is death is basically her great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather Ebenezer Scrooge. Okay. And then he saysrooge. Okay.

And then he says it was real. Yes. And this is the first she's hearing of it. Yes. She thought it was just a book. But the other thing is that might bump up against what I was hoping to do, which is have all the ghosts be played by like her previous like exes, you know, like the ghost of Christmas present is her first boyfriend, you know, but because because that's ghosts

of girlfriends past with Matthew McConaughey. Oh no. Wait, what? I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Joan. All right, then we'll do your thing. And I only pitched them the idea. I'm working on the script right now. So that's why I'm going to have anxiety drink. Can I make a tweak? Okay. Suggest a tweak. Okay. I obviously sound like the last suggestion would change the entire thing. So are you sure it's just a tweak? I feel like it's a tweak. Okay. What if instead of the ghost of Christmas yet to come, Ebenezer Scrooge is the first ghost

up. He's the ghost of Christmas past. Oh, okay. That makes sense. And then he reveals it was all real. There. I really was a guy. He revealed that first as the ghost of Christmas past. Oh, okay, that makes sense. And then he reveals it was all real. I really was a guy. He reveals that first as the ghost of Christmas past? Doesn't that seem too soon? I worry that the reveal that it was all real is not gonna have as much of a punch that later in the show. No, because it's good

if at the end he's like, don't do what I did, you know? And then while that might be confusing, she would be like, you mean change? Okay. I won't change. That's a good point. Because if he, if he is the, if he is the ghost of Christmas past, and he says, I was real, this was a real story. If she doesn't change right then, she's out of her mind. Oh God, I should have thought about this better. Everyone's just so down. I added that comma and the whole room lit up. They just were like, yes. Well absolutely, it sounds... That title, you got me in the door on the title alone.

There you go. Okay, that's what I'm hoping. I can figure the rest out later. A Christmas Carol? What is it? A Christmas Carol. Oh I didn't say it right. That's how I heard it. A Christmas Carol. Joan, Joan's doing a little lean in.

I like it. I like it babe. That's giving me the poster. I'm gonna be going like that. Of lean. I like it. I like it. The poster. I'm going to be like that. I like it because I think what because where are you now? You sound like you're in the meat locker. Oh, sure. Oh, sure. I'm talking like I like it. I like the idea because I think Carol Dragon Slayer might take it personally. You know, really? Oh, she doesn't have a monopoly on the name Carol. It's just Carol.

It's just Carol. I'm not saying it's a Christmas dragon slayer. That would be different. And now I'm worried that she's going to hear that because her and Mitch McNutt, who if people don't know, yes, I know everyone hates him. He's a theater critic who is always out for me. Yes. And I'm sure he's going to, you know, this is good.

Let's poke all the holes in my show before he can. Exactly. Fill them all up. Exactly. This is that part of a part of the theatrical process, a hole poke where, okay, here's our idea. Now, shoot it down as much as you can. And then what's left over is what we build from. I mean, oh gosh, that abruptly ended. The sliding doors. Did you cut the feed? Oh, you're still there. The sliding doors.

I walked out of the meat locker. Doug merely said the sliding doors. As if that explained everything. The abrupt silence that happened. Yeah. It was so jarring. I think this is my least favorite place you've recorded from. What kind of bread?

Could you please come back home? What kind of bread do you like again? I like multigrain. Why? Which grains? Multi. Which grains? Doug, delicacies. this place has every type.

You know that. I do. Babe, I just want you to come home because I really don't like you recording from there. Do you like the date to be closer to now or later? The date. You mean the expiration date? Yeah, I always forget this. Do they have Dan's white-collar bread?

Yes. They have every variety. It's that guy that went to jail for embezzling. Then he got out and started bread cupping it. Yeah, he's got handcuffs on the cover. He made his first starter. On the bread cover? On the bread cover.

He made his first starter in prison, watched over it. That's right, that's right. He had to bury it every night. It was a real country club prison. I didn't under a rug. Yeah, it was a real country club prison. It says, bread this good should be a crime. And it was.

It was. It's good bread though. Sure is. It's good bread. Really good. Doesn't tear when you put butter on it. Even if you put butter, that comes straight from the refrigerator, you know?

Yeah. Cold hard butter does not tear through it. Cold hard butter does not tear through. Cold hard butter does not tear through. That's white color bread. What I love, I love the caricature of him on the on the cover that has him playing the harmonica. Yes, yes, that's a nice touch. Yeah. Well, Doug, can you tell us how we've been going forward?

That's probably enough, right? Yeah, that's enough. That's probably enough for listeners. I knew listeners. What we do is we just talk until we fulfilled a certain amount of time That's probably enough, right? Yeah, that's enough. That's probably enough. For listeners, new listeners, what we do is we just talk until we fulfilled a certain amount of time, and then we can finally stop talking. Yes. Sometimes I just have to take a break.

Oh, but that's, but you know what? We instinctually know usually, if we can feel when it's been enough time. You feel it, say, I want to stop talking. Well, I want to bring on the guests, because that's the whole point of this podcast. Yeah. Yeah, that's the whole point. Okay.. Yeah. Yeah. That's the whole point.

Okay. All right. We will return with the neighbor listen when the neighbor listen returns. Hello, this is Eric. Um, passion fruit seed bead bracelets, $18 passion fruit seed bracelets with jade or south red agate accent bead 26 to 5 millimeters passion fruit seeds and one to 10 millimeters accent bead jade or red agate elastic cord chord one of each available at $18 each. Hashtag bracelets, hashtag Jade, hashtag Jade bracelets, at passion fruit seed, at custom jewelry. Listen, if you are like me and you love the look of the passion fruit seed bead and you think it is as beautiful as a cut diamond, then you are like me and you will love this passion fruit seed bead bracelet.

I ate all of the passion fruits myself in order to get to these seeds. I sucked them dry off all of their pulp and I also sell avocado bracelets, although several people have complained of carpal tunnel and basically not being able to do anything. And the people who got the avocado necklaces have complained of death. So please come get this $18 passion fruit seed bead bracelets, it rolls off the tongue. Thank you, it's Eric.

And welcome back to the neighborhood listen. Well Joan, we have a guest as we always do here at the Kitchen Island. Folks, what we do is we scour the NeighborHap, the social networking application for neighborhoods and we look for interesting neighbors to talk to. Maybe somebody's got something to say, maybe someone is behaving outrageously and they need to be called to account. Yes, or want to clear something up, you know, for the record. Maybe somebody's looking for something.

It's all it's everything that's on the neighbor app. And if you think you've seen an interesting post that we may have missed, why don't you screenshot it and send it to us? Us? Yes, us. How did that happen? I don't know. What was the next word you were going to say?

Two. OK, that's why. Yeah, that's it. Send us just a critical pause there. Shouldn't have happened. Sure was. Send it to us. Screenshot it and send it to us at bernandjohn at gmail.com. That's right. God, I hope so. You need to sip some more of that of that hurricane coffee. I do. I do. I'm almost down to the curve. It's because you haven't slept enough, Byrne.

So definitely don't, go refill, go get a refill. Sleep deficit. Yes. A warmup, I can get a warmup? No, a refill. Wait, a what? A warmup. What's a warmup, what do you mean?

Have you never had coffee in a diner? Oh, like when they come by and you want a warmup, sure. And I, it's been a while, Byrne. Do you think they're in England? No, what do you mean? Do you want a warm up? Did I sound British? You did sound British.

All right. So we have a guest here. I'm practicing for a Christmas Carol. Of course. A Christmas Carol? Right. Because, you know, of course I'm going to play all the parts and of course I'm going to throw in people with crazy accents.

I think you have to get airtight on pronouncing the title. I keep forgetting I'm playing all the parts. Well, you mustn't forget that. I've really set myself up. You really have. A lot of work. You shouldn't forget that you're playing all the parts. Sorry, what were you gonna say? You have to get, I think you have to get,

make it second nature, the pronunciation of the title of the show. What do you mean? Cause you think I'm gonna say the title in the show a lot? Do you think that that's- Well, obviously you're well, obviously you're going to tell people about it. Oh, right. So I'm like, so it's called A Christmas Carol. Exactly.

Perfect. Perfect. Okay. I'm off to a good start. I'm feeling better now. We're off to a great start. All right. This is in the crime and safety section of the NeighborHap.

This comes to us from Glenda. Oh, and this was, I should say this was submitted. This is a post we did not catch ourselves. Kim N Strong submitted this. Thank you, Kim. All right, thank you, Kim. This is in the crime and safety section, submitted by Glenda, posted by Glenda.

Glenda says, keep an eye out. And that is all Glenda says. You're kidding. That's a real clipping. Here to hopefully elaborate. I hope so. Is Glenda. Glenda, welcome to the Neighborhood List. Hi all Glenda says. You're kidding. And here to- That's a real clipping. Here to hopefully elaborate. I hope so. Is Glenda. Glenda, welcome to the Neighborhood Listen.

Hi, Glenda. Thanks for having me. Oh, you're welcome. Is everybody keeping an eye out? Well, Glenda. Well, I think what we should ask is, what does that mean to you? Yes.

Are we talking about something specific? Great question, Joan. We're talking, yes, in terms of everything. So specifically, I'm talking about everything. What I want you to be doing is just keeping an eye out. So the first thing that I do when I wake up, I keep an eye out. Oh!

Okay, what does that mean to you? Yeah, can you go into a little, right, right, right, what does that look like? Well, you gotta look for, you gotta look for what's going on out there. For sure. And if someone's up to something. But this is what I-

So this is right when you wake up. So this doesn't start in the home. You're not keeping an eye out in the home. Oh, I always, I keep an eye out in the home, but I also have cameras everywhere. So those are my eyes in the sky, as I like to say. You mean all over the neighborhood. Huh?

You have cameras all over the neighborhood? You have them all over the neighborhood? All over, yes. Oh boy. Anywhere that I'm allowed, but I was specifically just then talking about in my house. I have one mounted in each upper corner pointing down and then each lower corner pointing up. Oh wow. Unflattering. So not really eyes in the sky, but eyes in the roof and the floor. Yes. Okay. And well, and if I'm sure, and no matter if I'm upside down, then the ones on the floor

become the sky. I do some hanging Pilates. Oh, good for you. Wow. Hoku. You know it. It's a Dignity Falls expression. Hoku.

Yes. So you've taken the class. That's what we say at the end. It's like their version of ohm. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, It's Russian of course. Oku? Yes. So you've taken the class. That's what we say at the end. It's like their version of Ohm, you ho?

Oku? Okay, very cool. I love that. Yeah. I'd never heard it before. So now, do you have like, does that mean you have some sort of, you know, security room style, like bank of cameras

that where you go in and check footage? Yes, like a Lucius Fox from Batman. Sure. Oku. You'd like to... Hoku. Sorry, it's Hoku. Okay. Doug, try me with a Hoku. The whole story just did it.

My husband. Yeah, the whole story just did it. That was great. My husband Doug is recording for some reason from Dignity Falls. Delicatessen? Nope. Delicacies and dramamine. Delicacies and dramamine. That's right.

Are you familiar with this Glenda? Two of my favorite D's. I don't know how... Do you need anything Glenda? I would, yeah, I would love... do they have any dates? Oh right. Oh yeah. Yeah, get her some dates babe.

And keep an eye out. And what kind of dates? I'd love some Medjool dates. Oh yeah. I'd love some Medjool dates. Oh yeah. I'd love some Medjool dates. Oh yeah. I'd love some Medjool dates., yeah. Yeah, get her some dates, babe.

And keep an eye out. And what kind of dates? I'd love some medjool dates. Oh, yeah, those are fun. What is that? I've never heard of that. Oh, really? Medjool dates?

Yeah, M-E-D-J-O-L-L. It's a type of date. Good crossword word. Very good crossword word. I'm always keeping an eye out. Yeah, including for, okay. So this really applies to everything. It applies to everything.

But most specifically, if you're not keeping an eye out, safety wise, you just don't know what's going to happen. Right, because you did post this in Crime and Safety, so I think you were referring to, did something happen to you that makes you feel like you need to keep an eye out? What I want to say is you just never know when it's gonna. So nothing has happened, no, but because I'm keeping an eye out. And I want to tell you this,

I have posted this same post once a month, every month for the last six years. The first time I posted it, I got a couple remarks. What did they say? For what? What am I looking for? That makes sense. Guilty.

Yeah. But then the remarks stopped. And that tells me that people aren't keeping an eye out. Because this is sort of a bellwether. It might, or it might just mean you didn't answer their question. Did you answer their question? No.

Right. Okay. Because they, because they, it's their job to do a little digging, isn't it? And if I answer it, then that takes their, that puts, that keeps their guard down, but they want their guard up. I see. But do you understand that maybe it's like, if you can tell them one specific thing, like keep your eye out for people dressed like blank or keep your eye out for coyotes,

then they're really on their, on their. People dressed like what? Like blank. Have you seen someone dressed like blank? I don't think I have. I've seen it. I've seen it. Would I know it if I saw it? Imagine someone who's all painted clear, like in a glossy... Painted clear!

Like in a glossy varnish, and wearing all nondescript clothing that blends in with whatever background they're standing against. Now if I may, the microphone pop screen matches your sweater. Yes! So I'm a little... It does! It's actually really lovely. This is a good example. Yes it is.

Let me just explain what I'm saying. Sorry, I threw us off with that comment. If I said keep an eye out for a coyote, then everyone would just be looking for that. To the exclusion of burglars and nefarious children. Can you feel like though- Nefarious children. Nefarious children. Sorry, go on. We'll get to the nefarious children. What were you going to ask for?

I'm sorry. I guess I was going to say, I still think people might be wary of burglars, but I guess it makes sense if you're focusing exclusively on coyotes, you might miss a burglar. But I don't think you would look at a burglar and dismiss it like your eye would just dismiss it. You don't know that.

You don't know that. But I am more interested now in the nefarious children. Right, well now I don't know if she's referring to, you know, we have a couple of gangs. The grocery gang. The grocery gang. Is that who you're referring to? Keep an eye out for them.

Okay, great. But not exclusively for them. Not exclusively. Not exclusively. I that who you're referring to? Keep an eye out for them. Okay. Not exclusively for them. Not exclusively. I'll tell you what. My car has a catalytic converter. That's a, you know, under her hot demand. That is a problem. And if you look at it, if you, and I've measured it, it stands three feet and change above the ground. Okay. Children height. Oh, and they have these little bitty fingers that can get in there.

They could do any kind of mechanical damage. Keep an eye out. Keep an eye out. If I'm keeping an eye out, then I'm aware and I'm ready to nab them. Right. I do think there was a big jump from they have little tiny fingers to they could do any kind of mechanical. I'm glad you flagged that, Bernie.

I had the same. Because here's why she's doubling down though on anything. She said it. Do anything. I don't think that's strictly true. They could turn a watch into a radar. Children. Really? Oh, anything. Do you have children of your own? No, thank God. Okay. I would be so terrified. You'd be scared. You'd be keeping an eye out. Yeah. I'm always keeping an eye out. We definitely established that you're always keeping

an eye out. That is absolutely settled. So do you live alone? Yes. Okay. Well, I have a dog. I have a Cocker Spadoodle. Oh, a Cocker Spadoodle.

So that's a Cocker Spaniel and a poodle? It's a Cocker Spaniel Labrador poodle. Oh, okay. Retriever. Retriever? Yeah. Well, they left out some bits. I think, and here's where my bone comes to pick with the dog. Oh, here's where your bone comes to pick. I have a bone that I'm coming to pick.

Yes. Go ahead. This podcast is for bone picking. I feel like all dogs are some type of retriever. They all bring back a toy. Oh, I never even thought about it. I've never seen a dog like that. That's true. Yes, it is true.

Yes. Yeah, anyway, I digress. I can't have kids because it would keep my blood pressure way too high. Oh, believe me. You would have hated living in my house. Yeah, my twins were always setting things on fire. Oh, God.

I have a daughter named July P and a twins named Matt and fun size. Got to keep an eye out. Are they, do you teach them to keep an eye out? I mean, I tried. Yeah. And they just came up with, what they did was they came in with patches over their eyes and bloody grapes and we're like, we kept an eye out mom. And then I grapes, threw them into the car and I ran to urgent care before I realized they were just, you know, they were just joking. And it was fake, you know, eyes, it was grapes fries.

But it was real blood. Can I be, yeah. Well, of course it was. Because were they into some type of satanic crap? Oh Lord, well I know they loved fire and I'm sure they, well Satan's close to fire. So yeah, probably. They were always making blood packs to say we're constantly

out of real. Yeah, they're constantly slicing on what their bombs and shaking which again, I just want to say is the worst place to cut yourself because you are going to bleed so terribly from there. So if you're going to end any movie when I see people do that, I get very angry. You can cut any part of your body. It's also the hand that you need.

Yes, that's true. That's a separate argument, of course. So I'm so sorry, Glenn, we got on a tangent about Matt and Fun Size, but so what I do want to ask you is that besides the dog, I know you live alone, but what is your job? Oh, good surfboard. That's fun. That is such a fun name. I've always wanted to get in the ocean and I sort of live vicariously through this little guy. So you've never been in the ocean. No way.

You've always wanted to get into it. Oh, there's way too much to keep an eye on. That's true. Definitely way too much to keep an eye on. And you can't see. There's so much stuff you can't see. Absolutely. So you can't even keep an eye out.

You can't put cameras down in the ocean. No. You gotta keep a foot out. I mean, you can, but it would be very cost-effective. You could, only if you're James Cameron. That's right. But that thing is just a cauldron of potential danger. Yeah, I've never heard the ocean described that way, but that's pretty good. It's not bad.

It's not bad. A cauldron of potential danger? 100%. Not to mention it's the world's toilet. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. 70% of our planet is a toilet that everything is taking dumps in. You want me to swim through that? I don't, Glenda. I don't. I don't want that.

But you still always wanted to do it. I've always wanted to get in there. God, what I wouldn't give. And that's when I realized that vision boarding is a load of crap because I took Leslie's workshop down at the end Yes, all I did was ocean based vision boarding still never going in there. Yeah, right. That's place is a scam Anyways, let's leave the documentary on her. Oh my gosh. Oh, yes. I did we have a way of our own local Netflix here in the Falls and It's a pilot program. You can see if it works in other places. But first of all, too many episodes.

Didn't need to be six episodes. Way too many episodes. But yeah, it was really, really dark stuff. And they were only six minute episodes. Yeah. Do you know why? It was still too many. Do you know why?

A lot of people said this documentary could have been an email. She sold the rights to her story and she negotiated that she gets paid per episode. Oh, smart, right. So they had to divvy it up in a tiny, yeah. There's a follow-up series coming out that's 18, 32nd episodes. Wow.

Yeah. Wow. What a scam artist. I'm assuming it's about the trial, right? I mean, I'm assuming that it's, I mean, it would make sense cause she's about to stand trial for all of this stuff because people haven't really come after her. But it is in small claims court, so I don't.

It is, it is. It's trial in the small claims court. Yeah. I can't sit, I went to the jury selection, but I cannot sit on the jury because I was in the class. We've talked about the justice system here at Dignity Falls before. It is a little bit different.

And we do have a full jury for, we have 24 people for a small claims course. If you have a parking ticket, you will face a jury of your peers. Do you know? I learned that. If you'd like, if you'd like. If you like, if you want to contest it, yes.

It will be trial by jury. I learned the hard way. You can only serve on three juries a year. I keep trying to sign up. Oh, of course you love, but this makes sense, Glenda, because you are keeping an eye out, literally, that you can actually sit and keep your eye on the criminals. And you can have a say, this makes a lot of sense.

I want to have so many says and they only, yeah. Do you worry when you're sitting on a jury that you're missing other things you could be keeping an eye out for? Well, that's where the cameras come into play. Okay. Oh yeah, you mentioned you had cameras all over town where you're allowed. Where you're allowed. Can you give us some examples? Well, I got where the cameras come into play. Okay. Oh yeah. You mentioned you had cameras all over town where you're allowed. Can you give us some examples?

Well, I got a- Of both. I got a, of both? Of places you're allowed, places you're not allowed. Oh, gotcha. Oh, okay. We could use process of elimination. Sure, that works as well.

Absolutely. I got a county map of, you know, the Bureau of Land Management. There are public lands everywhere. And it is our right as citizens to use them. Now, Dignity Falls has the least percentage of public lands in America. That's true.

It's mostly owned by corporations. That's right. A lot of our parks are private. So I've found all the little squares of land. There's one over at Nixon and Cashew. We have a camera there. There's one over at George H.W. Bush Middle School, right behind in the ravine there.

Yes, yes. Where it turns into Christmas. I still say they shouldn't have built a middle school next to a ravine. That is so dangerous and scary. They don't have a fence. They have to rescue kids all year long, all the time, all the time, because the kids aren't keeping an eye out. They're not keeping an eye out.

You're right. And you know, and I've tried to lobby to get fences put up or some type of fence would solve so many problems. They won't do it. They won't do it. They won't do it. Because the fence, uh, the fence has been co-opted and politicized. They think big fences is scamming them. That's right. And it's not, you know, most of this is me. Do you remember the mayor promised that we were going to

build a fence by that ravine and New Barn was going to pay for it? No. And they put in one picket. Yeah, it was just one picket. Embarrassing. And they put in one picket. Yeah, it was just one picket. Embarrassing. It was so embarrassing.

Embarrassing. And you know what? You know, I don't mean to be a downer here or like a bummer patrol. Yeah. But you know. A Glenda Glumster. Yeah. Oh, that's good.

A what? A Glenda Glumster. That is Oh, that's good. What a Glenda Glumster. Oh, that is good. Yeah You know, yeah, I mean guys Glenda Glumster. It's the bummer patrol there again, but what? Been there for a long time. How are you still there? Oh, I'm still shopping. Oh It's all the samples. He's doing all the samples. Oh yeah, that's smart. Yeah. The drama means samples. That's what the give out drama means samples. I'm sorry, Glenda. No, that's okay. But no, that's very Glenda Glumpster is a good, that's good. And that's way better than what how the kids used to tease me when I was a kid. Oh no, what did they say? Oh, Glenda the depressed witch. Oh, there you go.

Oh, Bah Humbug, you know my last name is Scrooge. No! No! No! No! And they would have a field day. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Are you serious?

Glenda Scrooge. This is wild, we were just talking about this, about if there's anyone with the last name Scrooge, that is so close. When were we talking about this, about if there's anyone with the last name Scrooge, that is so close. When were we talking about this? We were talking about this earlier. Did you already forget? Oh, that's right, yeah.

About my show, A Christmas, Cama Carol. It's... Cama Carol. It's funny. Are you gonna say the comma? What does that mean to you if I say the comma? Well, I have to on a podcast. I can't show you the poster.

No, but I mean... I can imply it? A Christmas, Carol? Yes, that's what you have to. All right. I don't, I can't show you the poster. No, but I mean- I can imply it? A Christmas carol? Yes. All right. Are you sure that works? Okay, don't get mad. I think it works.

Sorry, Glenda. This is, sometimes this happens. Hey, don't mind me. I'm keeping an eye out. Thank you. I'm just pointing. I'm not mad. Okay.

He is pointing right in my face. Yeah. It's very close. It's very close. It's unclusterly close. You're going to get pink eye if he doesn't back up. It's not incredibly loud though. So at least give me that.

So I'm sorry, why were you called names? Why were people thinking you were a witch? Oh no, they were just, not a literal witch. Like Glenda the good witch. Glenda the depressed witch. Glenda the depressed witch. Oh, that's more clever than I realized. Now do you feel Glenda that your family name

used to actually be Scrooge? Yeah, it was. They dropped the R when they came over to Ellis Island. Because the previous generations had been cursed by ghosts and they wanted to break that. And this was their way of shaking the Halloween, no, the holiday spirits. The holiday spirits, yeah.

Oh my God, I gotta keep an eye on what I'm saying. Well, also shedding the Halloween spirit because of ghosts. Yes. Yes. Yes. You know what's funny? Reminds me of when I was a boy, me and some friends looked up the name of the phone book. We saw the last name was Hitler.

Oh dear. And we called this person up You know the answer we said your name used to be Hitler That is That would terrify and shoulder the bone that you didn't wait for response because I don't know what you did Probably that's an orange story for a villain somewhere. Well, they must have known That's where we were coming from as kids. You didn't think that you were breaking it to them.

Yeah. We were sort of saying, we know. Yeah. This is why I have a fake, I have a voice service set up on my phone that pretends like it's me answering the phone so I can screen my calls for pranksters. Wow.

Keep an eye out. I'm a high anxiety person. What does it sound like? Okay, see this is why, and I know I don't have a psychology degree and I know sometimes I try to add probe here a little bit too much maybe, but it's very rare that someone comes to us

with a very specific situation like yours where you've got high anxiety and you need to put cameras everywhere. It's very rare that something didn't happen. Maybe. I've also never heard anyone say with such confidence, I am a high anxiety person. Oh, I know that I am.

It's good to be aware, but where do you think that comes from, Glenn? That's what I'm asking. I'll tell you exactly. It started in childhood. Okay, now see? When I tell you. Now it's almost two on the nose.

Oh, sorry. Do you want me to change my story? I'm not judging your childhood trauma. Not at all, not at all. No, it's it. When you hear my upbringing, you'll say, oh, of course. Oh, well, could you share it with us? Yes.

Okay. So I grew up in the type of house where what we had was two parents, me and my sister who got along great, a wonderful system of neighbors around us. So far so good. A three and nutritious meals a day. Oh my goodness, nutritious meals?

A beautiful flourishing vegetable garden where we got to learn about science and nature. I can see this in my head, this is amazing. You can see it, right? I can see it. And when you grow up in that kind of environment, you cannot help but think, my God, I have a lot to lose. And if I ever wasn't keeping an eye out.

Wow. So because things were so good. When is the other shoe going to drop? All you're doing is waiting. And we've talked about that, the shoe dropping when it's the second shoe. We've talked about that when we say, you maybe don't remember this. Maybe I don't.

Just a few episodes ago. What happens? Well, people always say they wait for the other shoe to drop, but they never say, oh, the shoe dropped. Just the first one. That's right. No one ever acknowledges the first shoe. But it sounds like Linda had both shoes.

Yeah. The whole child didn't. I'veges the first shoe. But it sounds like Linda had both shoes. Yeah. The whole child did. I've never dropped a shoe in my life. Right. Wow, never. No, I wait till they naturally, till my feet grow out of them and they sort of naturally break open.

Wow. And I slide out of them. Like a tooth coming out. Yeah. Yep. Yeah, my wisdom shoes. Is this a practice you continue to this day? Oh yeah. Okay. So are your feet still growing or you just wear them?

Oh, good question. No, but the shoes, I do wear shoes made out of natural materials and they end up shrinking around my foot and then it's a reverse and some degradation. Flax shoes aren't going to hold up forever. You're wearing compostable shoes. That's right. Got it. That's right. So, okay. So it seems like you've continued the practice that your family set up of this sort of sustainable, lovely life. So you're saying nothing happened. Are your folks still with us? Are you still in contact with your sister?

Is it, did you grow up here? I grew up at just outside of dignity falls. Oh, okay. All right. Do you know, you know, if you take Elderberry all the way down and there's that lovely idyllic, it looks like a commune, but everyone's very wealthy. Right. Yes.

Yes. A lot of Instagram moms famous in that area. Yeah. Farm Haven. Yes, Farm Haven. I grew up there. Oh my gosh. I don't think I've ever really met someone from Farm Haven.

This is kind of a big deal. They never really come here. They don't. Well, I wanted to move here so that I could affect change. There's nothing to affect in Farm Haven. That's true. Pretty perfect. Wow. And they don't let people in. No, they don't. They sort of like you, when you get

to the sort of farm haven city limits, there's a guy there that just kind of waves you along. Yeah. To keep driving. But they also, they have guards with spears on the tower. Yeah, they do have guards with spears on the tower. Great guys. They're in crude, crudely made spears, you know? Wonderful people. Screwdriver's lash to a broom handle. Yes, yeah. We're big believers in a can do it. They shot some scenes from The Walking Dead in Farm Haven.

That's correct. That's right. That's correct, yeah. And you know, a lot of the locals just worked for free because they wanted to feel what it would be like to have danger. Yeah. Yeah. Not me. Right. That's not my kind of cosplay. OK. No. Is your kind of cosplay.

Oh, gosh. Oh, I would love to be one of those dishes from Beauty and the Beast. But I would never turn back. I would stay a dish. Oh, I see. Yeah. Yes. You don't want to be human again. No. Keep me.

Keep me a saucer. Wouldn't that be fun? I guess. See, I would be keeping an eye out that something's going to break me because you're so delicate. No, I'm not. My dish is stacked, wrapped and stacked in a safe box. You're like the good China that's only taken out once a year. Oh, you're like bubble wrap.

You're like wedding China. Yes, right. Yes, absolutely. Oh, that's very good. But the family who owns me, they never have fancy parties, so I just get to sleep in the attic forever. Sure. Wow. That is such a specific cosplay.

I mean, you asked. You asked. Hawaka. Hawaku. Hawaku. That was dangerous. He goes to Hawk Tua. Different class.

Different class. People, I wish people would stop telling us we have to have the Hawku girl on our show. Oh my gosh, I know. She's going to rush right now. Absolutely. Yeah. So that's such an interesting class. It really does sound like, I would have not thought this, but that a very healthy childhood

has turned you into a very anxious adult. Not by choice. Not by choice. Well, no, of course. I was suggesting you chose to be anxious. Oh, no. What I'm saying is I was suggesting you chose to be anxious. Oh, no. What I'm saying is you were part of a very safe environment. Do you have any romantic partners?

Have you ever had, you know, is there, does the trust go into, because I assume if you're keeping an eye out, you don't have a lot of trust in people and you have to have trust for relationships. So I guess I'm curious about that. No, that's true. I have, I have my own rich romantic life. I write a lot of fan fiction, but I cast myself in one of the roles.

Is it Beauty and the Beast fan fiction or is it? How'd you guess? It's just a hunch. There's a whole series. Such a rich world. It is. Where me and the egg beater go on some adventures around the, in the cupboards.

Okay. Safely. Sure. It's all safe. Safe adventures. It's all safe fanfic. I love safe adventures. Safe fanfic.

Why isn't that a genre? It should be. It should be. There's other anxious people out there. That's right. And you should know. Other anxious Disney loving people. You know, as a pharmacist, you must see a lot of anxiety.

Of course, of course. There's people that are getting, you know, prescriptions filled for anxiety medication. There's people that are anxious about getting their medication on time. That's right. It could be different medication. That's a different anxiety. That's like, do that, do that.

That got you anxious talking about it. It did. I feel for those people. It's a tough thing when you're waiting for a prescription. It's really scary. Well, and you're having anxiety dreams. So, you know. It's true.

Unfortunately, it's all tied to what we're talking about, pills, but I have a recommendation. Oh, sure. Do you own any chamomile tea? do you own any chamomile tea? Do I own any chamomile tea? I bet I own a box of it. If you, if you take a little bit of that before bed. Wow, that's nice.

Just grind it up a little bit, put a pinch right here in the, in the crook of your thing and just, oh. Do a bump of chamomile. Do a bump of salamander. Do a bump of camera. It gets into your bloodstream much faster. Okay, but I'm not in a super big hurry. I could have a cup of tea before bed, I suppose.

Oh, really? I can get you a baggie. Okay, thank you, Doug. I'll pick you up a baggie. I'm good, I'm good. Babe, you need to come home. I already own some. This has been, you have been there for nearly an hour.

You must be racking up a huge room. I'm in. I'm good. I already own some. This has been, you've been there for nearly an hour. I'm in the, uh, the netting section. Oh, the netting. I'm a, I'm their number one. I'm their customer of the month. Oh, of course you are. Do you have traps set around your house? Yeah, I've built, uh, I've built several traps. Like tiger traps. Well, like the kind in, you know, where like when cannibals and cartoons catch someone and it lifts someone up. Oh, those are fun. Those are fun. Or like on the TV show The Traitors. Yes. Have you ever caught anybody? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Amazon workers.

Oh, Casey. FedEx. You know those people aren't going to do anything. Oh, I know that. But traps don't have brains. Ah, she's got you there Joan. She really does. Wow. Speaking of traps, you walked right into that one. I did. I walked right into her trap. I try to warn them.

I put signs around the house that say, keep an eye out. Oh, see again, that might be a case where you need to be more specific. Well, but you can't say keep an eye out for traps because then you can't trap anyone who needs to be trapped. Right, boy, I wish there was a way to relieve you of this anxiety, you know?

I mean, we have a very good neighborhood watch system in most neighborhoods here in Dignity Falls. And I do think people are pretty good. I mean, I would say the NeighborHap is honestly everyone keeping an eye out because you will see posts about specific things. And in that case, we've had people on and we've solved some problems and some issues. And I never thought about that before. We've solved some problems. Yeah. We've probably created more, but, I don't put that on us. And there were several people who don't take, take our help at all.

Most people. Um, but, uh, and I'm not putting that on you, Glenda. I just, I wish that there was a way for you to see that there, that I do believe people are keeping an eye out, especially if you look at this app that we, that we use for, well, I can only spend so much time on there because I don't want to get traced. I do believe people are keeping an eye out, especially if you look at this app that we use for. Well, I can only spend so much time on there because I don't want to get traced. And who's looking at it?

I mean, I don't want China to have my address. Yeah, it's supposed to just be the residence of Denny Falls though. What is the fear of China having your address? What if they control my weather over my house? Well, that some many steps. What if they take my bills and reroute them somewhere else and they don't get paid on time and boom my gaskets shut off? And why would they do that? What's in it for them? So they can get us by the balls. You know? I wish we had gotten to this sooner because-

Oh, do I? This really explains it. This explains a lot. Yeah. Almost like a hostage situation. Talk about red yarn on your face. Oh God, did you get red yarn on your face? I did not, I did not.

Oh, that's a bad omen. Yes, it was just a suggestion that it could happen. Well, Glenda- Oh wow, okay. Uh. Your voice went higher, Burns. Did it? I just wanna make sure you heard it.

Glenda, it's been great talking with you. You better be careful. That could be a symptom of something. Oh no. Don't. Just keep an eye on your blood work. Just keep an eye on it. And look at.

And it's not the birds. What could be in there that I need to worry about? In your blood work? Yeah. What if you just had a flood of estrogen that made your voice go up like that? That could be a sign of something, testicular or something otherwise. I don't know. I'm not a doctor, but you got to keep an eye out. Okay. You got to keep an eye out. Well, Glenda, we will take that under advisement. We will. And, and babe, would you like to say good luck to you? To Glenda?

Good luck to you, Hoku. Glenda, Hoku. Hoku. Hoku. Hoku. Hoku all around. Hoku. All right, keep an eye out.

We will return with more of The Neighborhood Listen. Shadow man free. The condition is used to fare. Here's the shadow man. Attach him to a light post or flagpole for a bit of mystique. Or don't. I don't care what happens to him at this point. Ever since this thing came into my life things started to go bad. You know what I mean? Just bad and now I've had enough. I figure it's his problem. I mean he's the problem and I want to make it your problem And it doesn't sound enticing but look I don't care what happens to him at this point. I can't say it enough

Crush him throw him in the trash Make him a cheese board Make him a surfboard for a little dog Make him a skateboard for one of those bulldogs. Do you have a dog make him into something for your dog? Shadow man, he's probably cursed He sucks Look, Shadow Man, he's probably cursed, and he sucks. And welcome back. Yeah, Glenda, at the end. Yeah, sometimes they wait till the very end

to really drop something that's either a game changer or explains everything. We wish that we'd gotten to it in the beginning because we wouldn't have spent so much time going down certain roads. Yeah, yeah. Maybe we should do some sort of pre-interview before we talk to these people.

Maybe we should. We really just let the, I let these people in my house just willy nilly, sight unseen. That's a good point. That's a good point. And that is scary. No screening whatsoever.

And as she would say, keep an eye out. I was just going to say, keep an eye out. Well, we have time for one final post. Hang on just a sec. Babe, where are you? Are you on route to come back home? I'm almost done. I was gonna swing by the-

Got real quiet there. Yeah, did. Where are you? Are you in the chill out room? I'm in the chill out room. Much like some malls will have a family room where there's places where a kid can watch a Disney movie. This store- With a quiet car on a train. This store has a quiet room, a chill out room.

You can take a nap in here. Unbelievable. This is why it's your favorite place. I love it. I ran into a Tony. Tony. Did you really? That's right.

That's right. He was shopping. He was at the Tiki bar next door. Oh, great. Oh, of course he was. Seasick shanties. This is, uh, you know, that's why they have so much drama mean here, because people come out of there. So they come out

of the Tiki bar because the whole bar, the Tiki, it's the only Tiki bar that's on a gimbal. Yeah. And it rocks back and forth like you're on a ship. Yeah. And some people can't handle it. Sometimes they also program it to be like rough seas, which is who wants that? They do bingo night, but literally it's a disaster every time. You can't keep the pieces anywhere. They have like holes in the walls with like water spouts sometimes, like as if it's leaking.

It's too much. Frankly, it's too much. I think that place is too much. All right. They're trying to get you sick. Well, Doug, we you probably should get out of there because that place is going much. All right. They're trying to get you sick. Well, Doug, we, we, you probably should stay, get out of there because that place is going to bankrupt you. Yes. All right. We do have time for, yes, Doug. Oh, I was just going to go to the truffle section.

Great. Wonderful. Okay. Oh God, babe, come home soon, please. All right. We have time for one more post and this is in the appreciation section. This was submitted by a listener. This is our neighbor, Anthony Caggiano.

Thank you Anthony. Anthony Caggiano. And the post is from a woman named Lucille. Okay. Lucille writes, so sad. Thanks for showing us. Fondly, Lucille. Wait, is there a picture of anything?

That's it So sad thanks for showing us fondly Lucille no comma between fondly and Lucille what commas are so important So important as we make a break a show What do you think she was trying to say is there a typo that is obvious? No, there's no typos. It's all lowercase for EE Cummings. And punctuation is on point until Fonly Lucille. So sad. Thanks for that.

Maybe that's her nickname. I wonder if this was the- That's a good nickname, Fonly Lucille. Yeah, Fonly Lucille. Do you think this happened on a day when like a famous person died and she just meant to say, thanks for giving us laughs or showing us the way? I don't know.

I take it to mean in response to someone, it might not even be on the neighbor app. Oh, right. Yes. It could be something going on in her life. Something going on in her life. Someone told her about something. Sometimes people forget that we're not part of the conversation that just happened in your home.

Exactly. Exactly. And then you come on and you give us no context. Maybe she, I guess Lucille didn't realize you could respond directly to a post. Yes. Yeah. Maybe she was meaning to comment on something underneath. Maybe she posted that and said, God, I hope people put it together that I'm commenting

about this. There's got to be a better way. That gets very cryptic. You know, I hope people put it together. The commenting about this, there's gotta be a better way. That's very cryptic, you know, I hope she's okay and this is not some sort of letter where she's now gonna disappear, you know? Wow. Okay, walk me through that. Did I go too Glenda the depressed witch?

All right, sorry. It's just that, you know, this really gives us nothing to go on. This is just a very strange, blunt pose. Right, but I'm saying as far as last words are concerned, thanks for showing us. What would that mean in that scenario? I think that we're showing it's inadequate

given any scenario. Of course. Well, you know what? I agree with that. Thanks for showing us the movie. What? So you think it might mean the movie by Jordan Peele. She's addressing a movie theater. Thanks for showing us.

And she thought it was sad. She thought the story was sad. So sad. Thanks for showing us. It is a sad story. It is. Well, it is. Definitely. You know, because hands across America was such a wonderful thing. And now we see the dark side of it. Yeah, now Doug might be onto something here. Okay, okay. Lucille's lack.

Best words in the English language. Oh, ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. It's a red letter day. These words were sent to Doug. I'm happy I can provide that choice for you. Lucille did not use a comma between Fonley and Lucille. Oh, okay.

Quotation marks, which you would have to use in this instance to denote a title because you can't use italics in a post. You can't? No. It's not allowed? There's no function where you're able to do that. You're kidding.

Oh, I've never really paid attention to that. I mean, I've never seen anyone use italics on a good, interesting observation. Okay. Thank you. Yeah. And see, when you said, thank you, I really heard a slant on the think and the you while I also tilted my head. Yeah.

Tell us. I said, his head was my talent. I used physical italics. Thank you. Oh, they come from, but here, here's my, here's my theory. Here's my theory is that at my turtle, babe. Here's my theory. Is that quotation marks are, as some of our friends across the pond say, inverted commas. Oh, interesting.

So maybe she can't use commas. So it's entirely possible that she is indeed saying, thanks for showing us the movie. I think we're giving her too much credit, but I think you're right. I think you could be right. And therefore giving Doug too much credit. But it's a good, it's the best theory that we come up with. It's the theory we have to use right now. If a better one comes along, great.

But it's one that makes me feel at ease as well. It fits the evidence. Evidently, himself has spoken. Thank you, Evidently. He strikes again. Speaking of commas. What? Where does the comma come in there?

I always just heard one in the title. Evidently? Evidently. Yes, because remember, that's their name, right? But Lee, I thought, was the person who liked evidence so much that they called Lee Evidently. Evidently. Yes, because remember that's their name, right? But Lee, I thought was the person who liked Evidence so much that they called Lee Evidently. No the name, if we go back, I think you will even see, our listeners might remember that I believe you actually asked me, is it Evident, comma Lee? And I answer yes.

I believe that was my answer. Wow. It's like the conversation. It's both. Conversation. You'd kill us if we had the chance. All right. Well, that does it for this episode. If you would like to hear ad free versions of our episodes

and you'd like access to our bonus content, which is very exciting, you can go to cbbworld.com, sign up for the Maximus tier and those riches are yours. May you enjoy them. Follow us on Instagram at The Neighborhood Listen where we show you the posts that we use for the episodes and I think that's it Joan. I don't know what else to tell people. We don't have to say anything except for thanks for listening.

Goodbye and bye. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed. The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins. And me, Nicole Parker. And me, Brett Morris. This episode's guest was played by Susie Burritt.

The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang World. Go to cbbworld.com to unlock the entire history of the show, ad free, as well as brand new full length bonus room episodes, exclusive to Maximus subscribers. Your support keeps the show going.