The Neighborhood Listen - Krafty Kids with Laurel Coppock

Episode Date: June 16, 2026

Burnt and Joan struggle to navigate the intro, while Doug delivers a Doug Chuckle from a compromised position. Later, they welcome Nathalie (Laurel Coppock), a postal worker who had an unwelcome surprise on her driveway.Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for the Maximus plan to unlock this episode and ALL seasons of The Neighborhood Listen ad-free, as well as full length exclusive BONUS ROOM episodes adventuring deeper into Dignity Falls!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website. Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad-free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of the bonus room, go to CBBWorld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership. And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. Knock, knock.

Who's there? Your neighbor. Good. In Dignity Falls, you're never alone. You've got the neighbor half app and us. Burn. And Joe. From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell.

We'll cover it all. And meet new neighbors as well. We'll chat about any posts you're missing. So just tune in to the neighborhood listen. Welcome. Welcome to the neighborhood listen. This is, I want to. Bert, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm trying to new style. What happened? I'm trying to just trying to. Shh. Oh. I'm trying to stop. Okay, why? He's putting his lip, his mouth to my, I mean, he's putting his hand to my mouth to, like, cover it.

Okay. I don't like it when men do that. But you're like when women do it. I'm fine with it. Women can touch me anywhere. Please. Anything. What is what?

Did you think our listeners enjoy this? They have no idea what's happening. We cut all this out. I'm trying to set a mood. I need this. What? Okay. What's, what's, what?

You need this. Are you okay? What's going on? Why'd you take those weird breaths? I have to breathe. I know, but it was like, you know what's crazy? This is what it was like. Okay.

It was like you were losing air and dying, but you were only taking air in. It was like drowning in. Impossible to figure out, yes. I was taking some air in and I thought, probably need some more. And then I went back to double dip. And then it looks like you almost choked on the air. I didn't, though. Okay.

So continue on with whatever mood. And that makes all the difference. Okay. Good for you. That's not. That's not how that quote goes. Okay. It's a reference.

I know. Okay. Two breaths in the woods. Whose breaths they are, I think I know. Oh, gosh. We all know you're well-read, burn. We should have done something a long time ago about words ending in TH and having to pluralize them because it's a hassle every time. Oh, I think you're right.

Yes. Breths. Mm-hmm. Yeah. If you have to. What would your suggestion be? If the sentence ends that way, you're fine. I wouldn't say you're fine.

Continue. It's a hassle. Yes. Whose breaths these are, it's probably why he rewrote that. Yeah, it probably was breaths to begin with for sure. You never know. You never will. You never know.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. We have not done anything of value yet, and we have been talking for at least five minutes. It does matter. We'll cut all this out. We never do, though.

We never do. This time we will. We always forget. And you don't listen to them. So it's going to be me at two in the morning trying to, to edit this and make it make sense. Do you need me to listen to the podcast? Yes, I do.

Why? Because I just like to know that someone else has an opinion. That's what the listeners are for! It's too late after that. Well, we've gone from coding Robert Frost to Mad Men. Right? The American experience. Remember that time the tractor ran over a guy?

Yeah. Cut his foot off? So random. Sprayed blood on everybody. Was that the jump the shark moment? Jump the tractor? Did they jump the tractor? Tractor the foot

That was their tractor the foot moment Please tell everybody who you are Go, don't take your breath Don't think Don't breathe This is an acting exercise That one of my favorite acting teachers always said He goes, don't do it, don't breathe

Right? And it just makes you, it just makes you Have a truthful reaction Yes, yes That's terrible advice Try it, don't breathe Okay, but talk, don't breathe, but talk You just, you took a huge breath.

Okay, never mind. I'm sorry. Do you know what? And I, and I refuse to be silent about it. Okay, even though I know I just talked about it in the last episode. But my listeners know and they understand. It's about me, okay? But it should be about you because you should remember that I'm going through paramedipause,

which I'm rebranding as feminine overdrive. And sometimes it makes me be not patient, okay? Sometimes. Impatient, perhaps. And you know what? No, you're not. not going to police me. I wanted to say not patient. I wanted to say not patient. I meant what I said. Damn it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know, babe. I'm sorry. Honey, we're not going to get to you yet because

we have barely started the intro. Doug, I'm not asking. This is insane. Doug, we're going to need a minute here. Okay, go. Go. One, two, three, go. The neighborhood listen. This is the podcast that explores the neighborhood of Dignity Falls through the eyes of its many residents. I am one such resident and I am joined by another good friend of mine for many, many years. She is my co-host. I'm proud to know her.

Her name is Joan Pedestria. And who am I? My name is Burtmea Payday. I'm the pharmacist in chief here at Dignity Falls' Dignity Falls'i pharmacy. There's that S. There's that S tripping me up again. Like breaths.

Go on. Did you want me to do the intro? I do, I do. Please, I do. I want nothing more. Joan, well, she's the top realtor in Dignity Falls and also the top local actress. Oh, you did me. I didn't know that. You started as if you were dying and then he became a late night romantic disc jockey.

And it was unbelievable. I wasn't expecting that burnt, but I did like it. I just, I feel like that took too long. That's fair to say, right? What do you think took so long? All the interruptions? Correct. No.

Julie, you agreed. No, no, no, no. Oh, what are we do? Doug, cut right after that. Doug, cut right after that. Doug is my husband. He's recording a different room. Today, I don't know how this is working.

He's in the human claw machine. The human claw machine. Yes. So have you heard of these? Yes. This is a new thing now. It's the frustrating thing at rest stops. Rest stops.

Yeah, they're in rest stops. I have never seen a claw machine at a rest stop. Well, I guess I'm like, I'm picturing just bathrooms. I'm thinking of those other things going on at a rest. I'm not a claw machine. I'm thinking of those big, the really big rest stops where there's like restaurants in there and stuff like that. Oh, okay.

There's glass for granting me that, Joan. Glass cases with knives and figures. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And skull canes. We're like a Chuckie cheese. Yeah. You won't with the eight ball?

Yeah. Pretty cool. Like Chuckie cheese and Dave and Busters. That's where they have them. Yeah, but they also have 7-Eleven sometimes and things like that. Okay, I've never seen, but they're just for the hot dogs. Yeah, maybe that's what I'm thinking of, the hot dog machine. The hot dog claw machine.

That could be a human. And then the person behind the counter is the claw? Yes. I won't. So, babe, the way it is, I mean, how are you doing it? So usually, like, you're a strapped to a harness and it lifts you up. Yeah. And then.

So you are the claw. You are the claw. I am the claw. I am, yeah. He's making T-shirts. I am the one who claws. And I'm holding, like, two kind of, um, Tongs. Almost like rakes.

Oh, really? I thought you could just use your arms. Why would you use rakes? That's going to make it harder. Because that's more of a claw like. Almost rakes. Could you explain the difference me to rake in an almost rake?

Is it like imitation crab? An almost rake only has, you know, rakes have many tongs. Tines. Yes. Spokes, if you will. Tongue. I think we've done.

We've covered it. I think we know. So it has less of those. Whatever they are, it has less of them. All right. Mental note, cut, when I said spokes. And what are you filling it with, babe? Are you going to, like, do this for your friends? What kind of stuff is going to be in there?

Well, there's going to be stuffed animals. There's going to be coins. But they'd have to be... Not coins. How are you going to get a coin with almost rings? In the ball. In the ball. Right.

Like one of those plastic ball. Yeah. Yeah. You want that coin. Okay. Yeah. You want that coin. Let me ask you, you want that coin. You need that coin. So.

You can't handle that coin. You can't handle that coins. It could be rare. Are the, are the, what? It could be rare. But what is it going to be, babe? It's not really going to be rare. What is it going to be, the coin?

You're going to fill with rare coins? It could be. You're the one who's doing it, babe. That's when you're doing a claw machine. You don't know how rare. Oh, that's so true. Yeah. So I would think that if you are the claw, you're the human claw.

Yes. You're bigger than the claw and the regular claw machine is. Yes. So does that mean all that? the prizes are also large. Proportionate. Yeah.

Not the coins. I can't get. I don't know where to find those. But the ball is large. The ball is human size. Yeah. It's a human size ball with one little coin rattling around.

Could be rare. Could be rare. You need it. It can't be a big coin. If it's just one coin that adds to the draw if it's one. I guess so. I thought that you'd put

adult things in there that someone want. Like a bottle of wine. That'd be fun. You could do that. Probably shathe drops. If it keeps dropping, that's going to be a real headache. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let me ask you. What was that, Byr? I was just clearing my throat. Were you? Okay. You okay? I'm great. It's getting choppy.

Chippy choppy. It's chippy choppy. It's so chippy choppy. It's so chippy choppy. I am chappy. Does he say that in the movie? Does who say it in one? I've never chappy.

I've never chappy. Chippy is a movie. Chippy is a movie. Of course. Burnt. Of course. I've never chappied, but I know the movie. I haven't chappied either.

Yeah. What is chappie? Chappie is a movie. It's a South African movie. Really? About a robot. Is Hugh Jackman in that? Oh, is it the one with that guy who was also in the alien movie?

The guy with a very interesting South African name. You know, it was a movie about aliens. Okay. I'm going to look this at the room. I love me. I love how you said chappy in the movie. District 9. That's correct.

Yes, it's the same guy who did just like I had nine heads. Just like nine. Something? Please. Okay. Okay. When you said that movie about aliens, the look you saw in my face was me trying to process absolutely every movie about aliens that I've ever heard of. Except for the fact you could have said, wait, think of who's in Chappie.

Think of another movie I've seen that person. And that would have narrowed it down for you. I asked if Hugh Jackman was in Chappie. I don't think of you. I think I remember the guy with the interesting name. Although if I were to guess for one person to me in something called Chappie, it would be Hugh Jackman, actually. He is in Chappie. Okay.

So he was in chappie and real steel. Also. So he's in a lot of robot movies. There's an actress in this. What? If you count Sutton Fosker. He is so well-rounded. Here's a movie quiz.

Oh, great. And it's not a movie podcast, but we're starting it off with a movie quiz. The actress and Chappie has been in, it seems like every alien movie. Every, he's, his, Burns is going to lose his mind now because now he has to consider every alien movie. You'd be furious in the expression of my face apparently. I doubt it.

You have, okay, you have a couple guesses, burnt. The actress who's in Chappie. Yeah. So far I've been able to nail down that Hugh Jackman was in it. Good job.

And even that I had a question about. Yes. I'm no help in this one. This actress has also been in every alien movie you say. Seemingly. Do you mean like, It's going to be like two. It's going to be two.

It's not Sigourney Weaver. It can't be, right? Because that's the only person I can think of that's been in almost every other. Is that right? That's right. I got it. Sigourney Weaver's in Chappie? Yeah.

What? Can you believe it? This is how I find out? What are we doing? What are we doing? What are we doing? This is the neighborhood list. It's not, it's not chappy trivia.

Here's who I know is in Chappie. Okay. Now, Frank, Brits, three things about movie. Now Sigourney Weaver, which you just learned. Hugh Jackman. Uh-huh. Not with a question mark, no longer. Di Antward

Ninja What? Both of them. Ninja from Di Antwerd. Both of them are in it. I don't know. I don't even know

what words you're saying now. Because they're also in District 9, I think. I'm going to talk about myself. Great. I have a Doug chuckle, by the way. Oh, you have a Doug chuckle. Oh, finally. It's been a long time since we've had a Doug chuckle.

Yeah. Won a season, I guess. Have we ever done this before? Yes, we have. We have. But we didn't have a theme song. Should we have a theme song? We absolutely should.

Okay. Sit down and get yourself. Buckle here comes another Doug Jacko It's a loud theme song I'm sorry I wish you would like it Manic

I'm so hot I'm sweating I'm so uncomfortable You are glowing to beat the band Thank you Okay what's your chuckle babe The other day I was Looking at her fax machine

The other day you were looking at your fax machine Yeah Okay And I was thinking like What is this doing here? Hold on. That guy shows up from. This belongs to the museum.

Well, hear me out. Okay. And I was thinking, man, this thing had a short shelf life, didn't it? To nobody. That's not the chuckle yet. We're on our way. Good to know. We're on our way.

It was like short shelf life. This fax machine. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Are you doing a tie-fi? When do you think the fax machine was invented? This is a question?

Are you asking us now? Really, if you just had to answer. The facsimile machine? Don't overthink it, yeah. I would bet sometime in the 70s. That sounds right. Maybe an early prototype in the 60s. Right.

Okay. So I look this up. The fax machine. We're getting close to the chuckling. We're like waiting for him. He's getting in. He's already chuckling. He's pre-ch chuckling.

He's thinking about the check. Pre-chuckle. Red ball. We got a red ball. Pre-chuckle. There's kind of an after chuckle too. Oh. The fact I looked it up.

I love Doug chuckles, but they don't agree with me. Give that seat another buckle. There's also going to be an after chuckle. See, I did it right. Give that seat another buckle. Give that seat another buckle. You come up. Who are you, Ralph Nader?

You, why don't you have a turn out at Sondheim? All right. I'm like, that little boy that was in Blue Moon. Oh, I haven't seen that, which is embarrassing because I'm a musical theater person. Oh, you have to. You simply have to see Ethan Hawke doing a monologue that's interrupted every once in a while by someone prompting him to talk more. Oh, is the movie just like a flashback?

Is it like a cheesecake episode from Golden Girls? I'm not very well versed in Golden Girls. What? Joan, I feared this day would come. You have got to be kidding me. I'm just too straight, I guess. Oh, my gosh. It has nothing to do with that.

It's whether or not you appreciate the best comedy ever. Is Jones's hair getting big? That's another symptom. A feminine overdraft. My hair gets very big when I get upset. Like a cat. Like I put my hand on one of those balls with the electricity in it. Absolutely.

What were those four? Was that their purpose? It was for rich kids to have for like exactly one year in the 90s. Babe, what is the trouble? I'm worried about this. I know. Well, the momentum has been interrupted. Keep going. So you looked it up. I looked it up.

The fax machine was invented in 1843. Get out of here. No, it was. It was. And here's the chuckle. It was. But Alexander Bain. I refuse to believe that.

I refused to believe that. I couldn't believe it either. The only thing that gives a credence to me is the word facsimile does sound like it's from the 1800s. The facts machine. I've got a facsimile for you. I call it a fact civility. Oh, I was trying to do Bane. That was not the chuckle.

Not for the symptoms. From Batman. Oh, that B-A-N. I was thinking, B-A-I-N. Really? Yes. Fascinating. I forgot all about B-A-N.

Well, you forgot about the cold girls, too. Take control of your fact-sibily. So I was just thinking about... What did it really look like, though? It wasn't an actual fact machine. Here's the chuckle. I was just thinking... We're finally to the chuckle.

We've made it. We've made it. Thank you. for sticking with us? Here it comes. Should we not have done cocaine before this? I know he said we tried for one episode. What I put on five estrogen patches.

Maybe I shouldn't have done that. I did too. I thought they were for everyone. I thought they were for the table. That was like a party favor. They were for the table. Burd, that could seriously interrupt your system.

Can we get five estrogen patches for the table? For the table, for the table. We want to be bad tonight, just a little bit. And four to drink? And four to drink? I don't know if you've done this before. That's your food for to drink. Very nice for you to come to restaurant and for to drink.

Estrogen patch for Hollander. Would you like a fucking estrogen? Fuck you, Holland. You can't wear estrogen patch. I'm sorry. I warned everybody I'd be doing I would be doing Ilya from heated rivalry a lot because it's just, that's all they say to each other. And I think they're great actors. I just wish they had more stuff to.

say. It's a miracle they got together because the one guy just insults the other guy so much. They hate each other, but that was their chemistry. You know? I don't know if that would do it for me. I don't know if that would do if somebody said I had terrible sense of style and that I was stupid. But what about with the Russian exxon? Exxon. Would you care for the

ramican of axon? You have a terrible taste in style. See, it's a little more heated. Okay, what is the chuckle? Just thinking about this guy in the 1800s. inventing something that he's looking at. He just has no idea what it does.

That's the thing. He's like, yeah. I invented this thing. And then hundreds of years later, they're like, oh, this is a fax machine. That's not a chuckle. Hey, look, it's a fast machine. That's it. Yeah, I came up with this, but I have no idea.

It doesn't even plug in anyway. That is a silent smile if it's anything. That's a false premise. silent smile. I heard Berks. I heard Berks chucking. Guy invented this. He didn't know what it was.

It's a fax machine. How are you going to use a fax machine in the 1800s? Well, why? Who you're going to even fax? I don't know what's happening, everybody. I am so sorry. I feel like we've... I also imagine how stupid it was.

I feel like we've done nothing for you. What? I don't know what's happening. Um, are you... My question to you, babe, is, have you been hanging from the claw this entire ass? I forgot about the clock. Yeah.

I think all the blood is rushed to his head. I'm waiting for someone to, uh, you know, prop a token. You didn't have. You should tell people that you got yourself up there before anyone was there to sort of move you. Yeah. And then I realized I can't put my own token in. Oh my God. Why would you even set it up to need a token?

Because of our home. Sure. That would be self-serving. Okay. So I think you should. All right. I think that qualifies as a chuckle. And also I do think I do think the talk the chuckle was.

was diluted a bit because it got, you know, interrupted so much. I don't think that affected it. And where was the after term? Do you think it? Yeah, what's the after chuckle? Good. Give us the after chuckle. Mainly just how dumb the thing must have looked.

So just the fax machine. Is there a picture of it? I bet somebody faxed his butt. I bet he tried to faxed his butt. You know what? I was actually going to suggest that, that someone fell in ink and then just somehow slipped in under someone's door and called it a fax. Facsimile.

Somebody fell in ink. when they were naked when they were changing. And they said, this is too good to throw away. Yeah, I got to send it to someone else. Yeah. I don't know.

Or maybe they... Just deserves to be seen. Maybe they tried to copy by pressing it on another piece of paper and then giving that to them. I don't know why. But did they actually call it a facsimile machine in that moment? Yeah.

This makes no sense. All right. You must have been like, I have a fast machine. I can't tell you what it does. Okay. This story made me angry. I have such a hard time with his premise.

I've offended by it. I have a fax machine. I can't tell you. what it does. He would have no idea. Why would he have I understand this? The world wasn't ready for a fast. We need to stop. We need to stop. We haven't done anything. We didn't use one until like the 70s.

We're going to take a break. How long have we been talking? Definitely long enough. Way too long. We didn't use one until the 70s. I'm going to come. It was just laying around. How are you able to check? Actually, you can't check. 22 minutes. It's always 22 or 23. You know that was pure nonsense.

Yeah. We're going to, I'm going to come let you down, babe, because you can't just hang out there. entire time. It's not good for you. Okay. Okay. I would like to take a shot at this coin. Fine. I will come in there. I will come. Are you going to get up in the call? Be the call? I won't do that until after our guest. I'll go, I'll go back later and for our third segment, okay? I'm just going to go let him down right now. Well, what's Doug going to do in the meantime? He should be continuing to work on it. Well, I think he should be recording the podcast. Exactly. You do believe in the ground. I believe in you setting it up better for your

so you're not going to be hanging. Oh my god, why are we still talking? Let's go. Okay? We're going to take a break. Don't breathe. And what? Babe, why did you say anything?

We had forgotten about that. I feel like I'm being attacked by no doubt. The band? We, yeah. We are going to take a break when we return. We'll have the neighborhood listen. Hi everybody, it's Nicole. And Paul, are you here?

I am here. Oh, great. And I have a question for you, Nicole. What is it? too. Oh, hey. Brett? Hi.

Okay. No one was doubting that. Well, we'll go around the room. Okay. Yeah. First, I would like to talk about summer. Is that okay? Yeah, but I have a question for you that's related.

Oh, great, good. What does summer always make you rethink? Oh, okay. It always makes me rethink what I'm reaching for every day, meaning in my clothing, lighter fabrics, better materials, pieces that just feel good in the moment. You put them on and look effortless. And that's why I keep going back to Quince because they focus on.

That answers my second question. Oh, right. Okay, go ahead. Ask Brett, the second question. No, my second question for you was, Is that why you keep coming back to quince? Oh, and yes, it is. Okay.

Because they focus on high quality essentialables, ascensibles. Oh, I'm hungry now. I love an essential. Let's get through this ad, then we can all have some essentials. Essentialables for the table? Yes. Okay, great.

I like me bad today. We'll get essentials for the table. We get essentials for the table. I like combining all the essentials together. Me too. Me too. And essential suicide? Yeah.

And I also love breathable linen, soft organic cotton, washable silk. But without the luxury markup, it is that rare balance where everything feels elevated but still easy. And here's the thing. Quince has beautiful everyday pieces like 100% European linen pants, dresses, and tops with style starting at $32. That's low for clothes. It's low for clothes. Their denim is soft and easy to wear and their organic cotton sweaters are perfect for layering on cool summer nights. Everything on Quince has priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. That sounds good.

It does. And Quince works directly with ethical factories. cuts out the middle men, the most despised class of man. So you're paying for quality, not brand markup. And it's not just clothing, Paul. Quince has really become a destination for elevated essentials across home kitchen, bedding, and beyond, making it easy to bring a more premium feel into everyday life. Now, let me tell you something.

Please. I went to Quince recently because I'm going on a tour. Brett, I'm talking to you too. He almost called you Doug. He almost called you. That was a close one. Because we're sitting in the same position. We sure are.

We sure are. They found us out. So I'm going out on tour. Brett and I are going out together. On tour, on tour. And not steady. And I went to Quince. Got myself a casual linen suit to wear for travel.

Oh, cool. So I can look stylish. You know what? I always admire people who are attempted. They made an attempt to look stylish for travel. You know who else likes it? Who flight attendants. Oh, yeah.

That makes sense. Well, thanks to Quince, you're going to get a compliment. Thanks, Quince. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Got a quince. Oh, wait, hang on. Doug, Brett.

What did you want to say? Doug Brett. What did I want to say? Well, we interrupted you. I actually didn't say anything, but I will say that they have rugs. They have great rugs. Oh, okay. Everybody, they have great rugs.

There you go. Yeah. I got like a white button down shirt recently from Quince. As a rug? Yes. You're a strange guy. Well, here. You just throw in the wash.

Here's the deal. Here's the deal. Anything can be a rug, I guess. Everything that they make can be used as many different things. So elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash T&L for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too, you guys. Congrats.

That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash T-N-L for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash T-N-L. Hi, I'm Beck Bennett. I thought I was Beck Bennett. No, no, no, no. I'm Kyle Mooney. Sorry about that. Exactly. No, all good.

all good. Thanks, buddy. Yeah, and we host the show What's Our Podcasts here on HeadGum. This podcast is brought to you by SquareSpace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and make you look like a kick-ass person online. Like you're skateboarding through the internet or you're like you're surfing through the web. SquareSpace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. I like that it's all in one place.

I know. I like that I don't have to go around, you know, to like different stories. or something that's just all on my website. Well, it's like, oh, do I need to like, do I need another type of website to, like, find the right pictures or, like, another type of website to upload the, like, it's all in one place. The video or the audio or, like, no, I want, it makes it easy,

make it easy on me, please. Yes, and you can do all those things, photos, videos, changing fonts. You know, I mean, the designs are amazing. They're catering to all your different needs. There are SEO tools, which I know what those are, and they're custom domains. Oh, what's come up with a domain right now. Let's see.

I wonder if it exists. www. Friends meeting. Friends. Friends meeting friends.com. That's an original thing that we came up with. Friends meeting friends. Anyway, so check out Squarespace.com

slash headgum for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code headgum to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hell, sounds easy. Anybody could do it. Hey, Dignity Falls. It's Errol here,

and I am offering for sale the Osmond's vintage lunchbox. marked down from $100 to just $60. That's right, this is a 1970s vintage lunchbox featuring the Osmans. Are you close enough to death to remember who the Osmans are, but still have enough time left on earth to fill your house with shit to look at?

Well, then you want this Osmond's lunchbox. The picture includes almost the entire lunchbox, and as you can see, there are some stains, and there is some rust. The color palette is unappealing, just like it was back in the day, the Osmans were on top of the charts, presumably. So Rush, don't wait to get this vintage piece that's almost fallen apart.

The Osmond's vintage lunchbox. Don't you deserve it to yourself? Welcome back to the neighborhood list. We've all had a glass of warm milk, and that seems to have done wonders. Yeah, it really has. I am sorry for that, everybody. I don't know. It went off the rails immediately.

Yeah, yeah. And I think we're all a little bit. We're all bit more ready for our guest. All right. We do have a guest in studio with it in studio here at the Kitchen Island. And what we do every week is we scour the neighbor app, the social networking application for neighborhoods. And we look for interesting neighbors to talk to.

Maybe somebody's got something to say. Maybe that got something to answer for. Who knows? It runs the whole gamut. And this week is no different. And if you see a post that you think we should talk about, want to screenshot it and send it to us as this listener, Matt Moore did. Matt Moore submitted this.

Thank you very much. Thank you, Matt. Matt, this is in the crime and safety section, and it was posted by Natalie. Natalie writes. Last night around 10-ish p.m., someone or some people slash kids, mostly kids, I'm assuming, came to ring on our doorbell. We didn't open the door, but today in the morning,

there was a craft cheese on the driveway. I'm not okay with people trying to pull a joke on someone, especially that late at night. if you know your kid was out there doing that, please make sure they know of the consequences. This was on Polk and Palm. And here to talk more about it is Natalie. Natalie, welcome to the neighbor listening.

Thank you so much. I hate to start a conversation with a confrontation, but I actually pronounce my name Nathalie. Nathly. Oh, you do hit the H. Okay, yes. Yeah, and Nath for short, and I know you've expressed a frustration with THs,

so it could be tough. Right. So it's mass for short. It sure does. Mass. Okay. Nath. Okay.

And is that what you prefer? Or do you want Nathily? I prefer the full length. Okay, great. We've only just met. And now we have a confrontation. This is a part of the challenge with my name. No, no, it's fine.

I don't feel confronted. Do you burn? It's a little bit, but I think it's fine. Oh, but your name is burnt, right? Yes, it is. With a U or an E? With a you. Oh.

Interesting. Like so after something that burned? Correct. Yes, exactly. Fascinating. Isn't it, though? You might run into this kind of confrontation like I do. I do often, but I don't, I don't know.

Usually I just say burnt. If people say burnt, you know, I'll say burnt. But what did you say like the toast? Then what do you say? I just sort of nod. Okay. Yeah, it's not my favorite thing to hear. Yeah, that's what I figured.

But burnt toast was my favorite snack as a child, though. I loved it. It's really truly burnt to a black crisp. Oh, my mom, like pure carbon. Yeah. Yes, I loved it. So, Nathalie, this is, this is an interesting post because I, to be honest, don't know, this is just me speaking. I don't know if one single slice of craft cheese on my driveway.

I don't know if I would think that was a prank. Let me ask you this. Okay. Was it wrapped or unwrapped? Oh, good question. I appreciate that question, and I'd like to get into it. It was unwrapped. So you can feel that this is something more than a mistake.

So you can't even use it. I was picturing it wrapped. I don't know why I was. Yeah. Okay, so it was just naked there on. Thank you for that language. Yeah. It was just, because that, that offended you, I'm assuming.

Yes, yes. Can I ask, how did you know it was Kraft? Oh, great question. Well, it didn't melt. It didn't, oh, yeah, thank you. Great comment. It didn't melt at all. And Kraft has a very specific,

texture. Yes, it does. He does. So I knew. I knew. So you touched it. Like when you were cleaning it? How did you,

you know, how did you dispose of it? No, I didn't touch it. Oh, you didn't touch it. I didn't touch it. Okay. I got a paper towel

and I kept that between me and it. Yeah. Okay. That's smart. Yeah. Yeah. I'm smart. I believe this was a jab

because I'm lactose intolerant. Oh, no. So you feel it was pointed. Yeah, it was personal. I see. Wow. And who, does everyone in the neighborhood know this?

No, that I'm lactose and tolerant. Yes. I hope so. Oh, oh, you hope so. Yeah, I mean, what are they going to? Then they're going to serve me. I know you left me this hot milk. I can't drink it.

Oh, I'm sorry. That was left over. We needed hot milk to calm down and I will remove this here. Let me get it. I ask because I'm trying to narrow down the pool of suspects. Me too. So if only certain people know, then you have a smaller target area. Yeah.

To be fair, it seems like you had a hard. Can you read the beginning again? Burnt, sorry. Absolutely. I'd love to. Last night, around 10ish people. someone or some people slash kids, mostly kids, I'm assuming. Okay, let's pause there.

How are you viewing them? Was this on a ring camera? Was this through the window? Great question, Joe. And what was it that was so tricky about discerning children from adult people? Yeah. What does that mean? And mostly, so also they're a mixture.

So mostly kids. Some hybrids. Can you just talk about that for a minute? Well, we don't have a ring camera because I am. worried about that kind of a digital nature with my brain and things like that. So we don't do that stuff. Oh, okay. What's the brain concern?

Thanks. It's, you know how the radio waves might get into your brain? Oh, when you have something that works through the Wi-Fi, you know, so we're not going to have a ring camera out front. I'm too worried about that. Oh, right. You don't want it to penetrate your brain. Right, right, right, right, right.

Okay, right. You've read about it? I haven't. This is a new problem to me. Clarifying. Okay. Okay. Where would I go to read about this?

Oh, God. The internet. Source. Okay. Yeah. Link, please. Yeah. Yeah, I can see if I can find a link, but I'm probably not going to use Wi-Fi.

Okay. Do you have a phone? Do you use a phone? Like a cell phone? Like a... There's where the whole thing falls apart. I do. Okay.

Because I feel like there's been a lot more research that's come out about that. That seems pretty. It checks out. Could you send me some of those links? Well, I don't want to because I have to use my phone again to do. that, you know? You know, I'm a front pocket guy and I'm afraid I'm going to get thigh cancer. Oh, no. Will you let me know if you do? Of course I will. Okay. Wow. All right. That is a scary thought. It's terrifying. Yeah. So, so. I don't have a new form of cancer. It's never been. What kind of pockets do you have that you can squeeze that in there?

Men. Yeah, I mean, men pockets. That's, yeah, I guess so. Yeah. I guess so. They can carry their whole life just in one pocket. I like to wear athletic fit trousers. I respect that. Yeah. They're very roomy pockets. Flair at the bottom. Fur on the top. That's nice. So how are you viewing them? Are you looking to the window?

What makes you go to the window? What do you hear? I live at the window. Oh, you live at the window. I'm at the window often. Okay. So I saw the whole thing. Okay.

And describe us, describe us what you saw. And a little bit more detailed than this. You know, why is it that you thought, oh, here's a kid, here's a person. Here's a combination of both. Yeah. It was a band.

It was a group of rowdy. Okay. Difficult people. Were they making noise and hooping and hollering? Yes, hooting and hollering. They were coming. And I don't know what they were talking about. It was loud.

Different heights. Different heights. So then I'm thinking there's definitely going to be some kids in there. Okay. But how old are we talking? Were there some little kids? I'm not the best at identifying ages, but I'm going to say eight and up. Oh, wow.

Eight and up. And to be out at ten-ish. Yeah. Yes. But if you're with older kids. I guess. They're looking out for you as you're doing a pranks. I guess that's true.

Do you have kids yourself? No. It was a good question. No. But she didn't thank you for it. So I wonder if she didn't care for that question. Does that question upset you? Didn't upset me, but I don't think it's a great question.

Okay. That's a fair. That's fair. I've asked better questions. You know what you have? Earlier you did. You had better moments. Earlier you did.

I'm dropping off. Have some of her warm milk. Mm-hmm. Yum. Please. So then how. close did they get you. You're looking out the window and you saw, you said they were going to ring the bell

but they didn't. Is that right? They came to ring on our doorbell. On the doorbell. We didn't open the door. Right. And now who's we? Can you say who you're with? My husband. Okay. What's his name? Daryl? Okay. Yeah. And did you wake up Daryl to tell him about this or was he awake at the time with you? Well, that's interesting. He does sleep a lot. Okay. He sleeps a lot. He was awake for this.

Okay. But he was in the kitchen eating. Okay. Yeah. Because I don't like to eat outside of the kitchen. That's disgusting. So he's got to be in there to eat, but I'm in the living room. Watch it. Okay. Right. So nobody's allowed to eat outside the kitchen. Right. Okay. So he's in the kitchen eating. And at 10 p.m., so it's a little late night snack kind of thing. Or unless that's no normal dinner time that you guys have. No, we usually eat around 4.30 or 5. Wow. Why was he eating so late? Early for dinner. Well, he needs a sort of second round. Oh, boy. Yeah. I mean, that is hours and hours go by. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Second dinner. Yeah.

So you, did you call him in? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. And then what did he think? I gave a healthy scream. I was so angry. And he thought the same thing I did, which is, you know, we're under attack.

Oh, really? Just from them going to ring at your door. On it. I'll ring on your door. My apologies. Your response was to not open the door. Right. And then just go to sleep.

Right. Because the next day in the morning is when you discovered the cheese. Yeah. Yeah. I was exhausted from the amount of adrenaline from the entire moment, just a dump of it. Wow. Yes. So I slept like a log. Okay. I couldn't function. Oh, my word. But I knew I'd go out and find something. You did. Okay.

Can I backtrack a little bit? When you say your husband Darrell sleeps a lot. Yeah. How much sleep does he get in a night? Thanks for that question. I'm going to say a solid, healthy 18 hours. 18. That's a lot of the day. Yep. It's almost completely opposite of what you're supposed to do.

I'm going to say it's the lion's share of the day. It sure is. It sure is. May I ask what he does for living? If anything? He doesn't do anything. Okay. I had a feeling.

Yeah, you have an instinct about him. It could be a little bit hard to actually do something. I don't know who's going to allow you those hours. I don't know of anyone. Then what do you for living? because you must, you must work. Well, I'm pretty private about it, but I will share with you guys.

I noticed that you're a pharmacist. I know you. I'm familiar with you, obviously. Oh, you've seen me at the Falls Missy, sure. Yes, yes. I work across the street at the post office. Do you really? That is a very,

now you've seen the post office across from the Falls Missy, which is, I have. It's very impressive. It is very impressive. It's like a cathedral kind of. Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's marble. Like you see, you see people of all faiths going in their thing. that it's a place of worship. It looks like one for sure. It looks like all of them. It does. It has crescents. It has crosses.

It has gargoyles. These are a few of my favorite things. And, but it's just, it's, they're stained glass. It's gorgeous. Yes. And they have an organ in there, which I do appreciate it. Yeah. That's beautiful.

Just playing all songs that have anything to do with mail. Yes, that's right. Yeah. The letter by the box tops. It'll be, please, Mr. Oh, yeah. A third one. Return to sender. Return to sender.

But, you know, it's sort of a minor key. Yeah, everything sounds very gothic. Now, why are you private about it? Well, I don't want people to get to know what I do and learn my hours and things like that. Because what would happen then? Who are you afraid of knowing that? That's a great question. Right, which I would think you'd have an answer to if you're so afraid of it.

Mm-hmm. I mean, I've already feel people know I'm lactose intolerant. They're leaving cheese on my driveway. Now, you say that as if it's happened a lot, but has this happened only one time? Okay. I'm going to tell you a little post script. Oh, wow.

The next night, someone left a piece of bread. And the night after that, butter. Okay. What do you think they're trying to say? Make a sandwich? Yep. All right. All right, but how is that not,

how is that just specifically a lactose, a prank? Feels pointed to me. But I mean, you can eat bread. You can eat bread. I don't like gluten, though. Okay. Do you think they know that? Is that widely known?

I hope so. What, how? You can say I hope so. I know. I don't know. I mean, I feel like it's something that you don't have to hope for. You can always just let people know only if they're going to, you keep on mentioning them bringing you food or feeding you food. Do you guys have a lot of potlucks in your community?

or do people bring food over often? I don't know why the concern is there. Well, we do. I'm going to pause you one second. Yeah, please. Math. Math. Math.

Math. I think the concern is not that they're bringing her food, but that they're leaving single items of food in the driveway. Okay, if that's it. All right. Yeah, that's right. But is that all that has happened. You've had a piece of cheese, a bread, and some butter.

How much butter? A pat? No, a full eight tablespoons. A stick. A stick. A loaf of bread. A container of milk and a stick of butter? Yeah, it's wasteful.

Also, you said, is that all that's happened? And I just want to say that sounds like you're blaming the victim. Oh, dear. That's a lot of different items on my driveway. I did not know about the three. We never want to do that here. Don't want to do that. And so, okay, after that, though, what happened?

Did it stop? How long ago was this whole ordeal? Three weeks ago? Okay. And has anything happened since? Well, I can't be sure. I haven't found anything. Have they tried? Maybe. Okay. So that's a no. And then can I also ask, did you receive any comments underneath this post? Well, that's a very good question. Okay. I haven't checked.

Oh, how come? Because it would seem that if you ask on a post, on a platform like the neighbor app, you are inviting. you are I mean, no matter what you say online, you're inviting comments. Well, because there's, was there no question? There was no question. This was just, this was an announcement. This happened and you should tell your kids not to do this. Yeah. Okay.

But still someone might have commented, but you didn't check. You were not curious. Yeah, I'm, I hope that they're going to read it and stop doing what they're doing. There will be consequences. Have you thought about maybe, you know, instead of no soliciting, just putting no lactose outside, you know, by your doorbell? And that way it's a way, it's a way to let them know. No, no lactose, no carbs.

That's a really interesting idea. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I guess I could get the sign made. It sounds like an expense to me for something people ought to know. I feel like we've buried the lead here. What will the consequences be? I thought you might ask me that.

Well, okay. I did call the police. I called the police thinking there could be an arrest. Right. That might be tricky, but okay. Apparently so. what they told. Well, again, the police here,

Ditty Falls, they are terrible. They're lazy. They sigh really hard when you come in. And, mm-hmm. That's right. And so it's hard to get them to do things.

But there's a lot of, like when they come to investigate something, there's a lot of, but, but do-d-d-d-do. Yeah, and when they ask you what happened, here,

just pretend that you're someone who had something happened, and I'm the cop. Okay. And so tell me what happened, man. Well, a man came up to the judge. Oh, man, came up to you and did what? It's like that.

It's very rude. That looked real. Well, thank you. I am a local actress. I'm the top local actress. I've seen all your plays. You have? Really?

Yes. You saw the all-male steel magnolias where it was men playing women, but then I played the Tom's Garrett role. Yes. In a beard? Beautiful performance. Thank you so much. Yeah.

It was so surprising. That's what I loved about it. That's what we were going for. That's what we were going for. Okay. You saw all my son? I did. Yep.

I always like to just put things on. turned on their ear, just a little bit here. That's how we like to do it. I don't want to tell you what Daryl thought of it, but it wasn't positive. Oh, you're kidding. Oh, wow. So he managed to get up and come out for that.

Yeah. He's a big one. I have to ask. I mean, the theater is a place where literally anyone can fall asleep. So did he manage to see any of the show? Or was he out like a light as soon as the lights went down? He was asleep. Yeah.

He was asleep. But he had a strong review and it wasn't good. Really? You didn't even see him bad dreams? She has something. Yeah, he must have taken in some of it. Oh, Lord, okay. Well, I'm sorry to hear that.

Better luck next time, I guess. Yeah. Let's just do a special, I don't know, 6 a.m. matinee for when does he get up? Like, what is the time when he's sleeping? Yeah, yeah. 10 to 4. Okay, so he wakes up, he eats dinner. Wait, no.

11 to 5. 11 p.m. Yeah. No, no. 11 a.m. to 5. Okay, great. Okay.

Yeah. 11 a. 11 a. 11 a. Lord. To 5. P.m. Yeah.

So the 10 p.m. snack was, this was like a midnight snack for him. Yeah. He'd wrestled himself up. He had dinner. Yeah. In the kitchen. That's where it has to happen.

Yeah. This is a bizarre. Does this dynamic work for you? Oh, yeah. What's great about it? It's great. Well, I get a lot of personal freedom. Sure.

I do what I hear that. When I want to hear that. And that is sitting in the window all day. Yeah. I sit in the window and I work at the post office. Right. Please don't mention that. Well, this is going out to a lot of people who listen.

It is a podcast. just so you know. Are you okay with that? No. Okay. Well. It might be too late. I don't know what Doug is putting in the email that he sends to people when he won't go guests.

He keeps on changing the email. It used to be that they could only come contingent on them reading his pilot, evidently, obviously, about the man who is named Lee and sees evidence. This time I put a lot of stuff about how sometimes you guys have trouble with the TH. You did? Yeah, that's how she knew that. Oh, good. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

I read that. Why would you put that in this? Yeah, why? These emails are getting weird and weird, but all they need is the address and just, you know, the information of like... I don't want to give our address out. To come hungry because I like to feed them.

You should always put in coming head. Yeah. And you should give the address because that's where we record. Address is the final exchange. Oh, that's all you need. Find exchange. There's a back and forth.

They have to pass like a certain... Oh, dear. They call me and then I give them turn by turn directions. Naff, I'm sorry. The voice. you're hearing is my husband, Doug, who sent you that email, but he's in another room. He's in the human claw machine room. Oh.

There's no need to get into it. Sure. Or to bring it up. Yeah, sorry I did. Sorry I did that. I guess I'm wondering what made you the type of person that is constantly sitting at the window waiting for someone to attack you or to prank you? Has this always been your nature?

Boy, those are big questions like a therapist would ask. I know. I do tend to ask those questions and I am sorry, but I always want, probably because I'm an actress. I want to get to the human inside. I want to find out if there's a pattern. I was a witness to that kind of vulnerability when you were on the stage dressed as a man. Oh, thank you so much.

I really appreciate that. I only had five lines. So. Small birds? That's correct. Only small beards. So I want to know, I don't know. Did something happen to you as a kid

where you were pranked and then this has made you on your guard always? Yeah, probably. I'm trying to think. You don't have to come up with one. I don't want to. I can. I could. Give me a few minutes.

If it doesn't come up with something. If it doesn't come to mind, I don't want to put you on the spot. Or maybe it's back to the lactose thing. When did you find out that you were lactose intolerant and how? Well, I was informed of that very, very young. I think it was to do with my bowel movements. Sure. Usually that's right.

Yeah. Oh, I think that's the sign number one. I don't think there's any other way to find out, is there? Right. Well, I just meant, you know, did it change your life in a way that was bad? Or was it just, oh, you just have to take some lactate? Did your family make you feel weird about it? I'm just trying to give the bottom of why she's so on guard.

Sure, absolutely. Pretty big probing. Yeah, I think my family didn't like this about me, so it's made me feel defensive about it. There you go. That makes sense. That's so rude. Why didn't they like it about you?

How did that manifest? It was inconvenient. Yeah, I could see that thing. Making a meal and then you have to make a separate meal. It's a drag. It's a fairly easy thing to work around once you know how to. Speaking of someone who has food issues of his own. Okay.

Burnt cannot eat square food. I can't eat square-shaped food. Yeah. It makes me sick. Oh, God. I know that sometimes that's difficult for my partner and I when we, if we go out to eat somewhere, and sometimes you don't know what things are going to be square. That is true.

That's true. That's true. That's surprised. Wendy's burger. Oh, boy. That was, I wish somebody had told me. That was a tough thing. Yeah, yeah.

But what did they say to you to let you know that they didn't like it? Oh, you know, oh, that's right. You're lactose intolerant. Oh, no. They say this in front of people, like in front of company. Oh, sure. Oh, that's terrible, Anathalie. That's awful.

Yeah. No, I mean, well, yeah. It's a big inconvenience to my parents, to my siblings. Well, you shouldn't have been made to feel that way. Do you have nieces, nephews? Mm-hmm. Okay. I hate to say this.

Okay. Is it possible that it's people in your own family who are doing this? Oh. Because who else would care if you're a lactose and power? And that would sort of account for some adults, some people, some kids that would be in that group. Is that what you're saying? You think they left the three groups? Because they are on record as kind of taunting her about it or at least just making it very clear that they're in.

It could be interpreted that way. Yes. Well, this is an interesting question. Thank you. I'm going to pursue that theory to the death. I'm going to find out. Oh, I don't know. I don't know.

I hope it doesn't come to that. Well, we'll see. We'll see, but I need to find out because I think you might be on to something that hadn't occurred to me. I mean, if it's, you know, they seem to be the only people who have a problem with it.

Unless let's follow up on that. Have you gotten any pushback from anyone else in your life about, like, coworkers or? Most people are annoyed by it. Oh, no. I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine being annoyed by that, you know? Well, I can't imagine it affecting other people all that.

Well, that's probably because you're not lactose intolerant, but you do have an issue. That's a fair point. Well, yes, that's... You know, and if I were around you a lot, I'd be annoyed with you. Oh. Okay. Wow. That whole square thing, I can see it as problematic, but it would come to annoy me eventually.

Oh, all right. It just means that we can't share ravioli. That's all it means. Right. You know what I mean? Right. So if that's important to you. Some ravioli is circular.

You could always have that. I wish more was. But I can sort of picture the interaction with the waiter And I'd be like big eye roll Oh really? I would think Be like no lacto so that there's such an inconvenient You are stupid

Wow look at that accent work Oh thank you. That's beautiful. I would think Nathalie, excuse me that you would be more empathetic because of your own condition Agreed. Thank you.

You're welcome. Oh, that's nice. No, no, hard no. Just a hard flat no. Just a hard flat no. Can I ask you, how did you meet your sleepy husband? Oh, what a great question. That is a great question.

Okay, we met when I was in college, he was working nights. And I went to the 7-Eleven and he was there working. I see. Yeah. And we really hit it off. Okay. You did. What would you say?

What caused the spark? How did it? He really understood the lactose stuff. Oh, we did. That came up when you went through the 7-Eleven. Absolutely. Okay. Yeah.

What would be your regular sort of shop at the 7-Eleven? What would you get? College kid, you know, you're up late at night. What would you go to treat yourself? Yeah. Okay. I would get, um, Twizzlers. Sure.

Oh. No milk. No milk there. No milk. A lot of Twizzlers. Okay. Um, what are they called? The cinnamon.

ones that are chewy. Redhats. Red hot. Big red. There we go. Big red. Well, big red's a gum. Yes, it is.

Red hot. Red hots. That's it. That's it. Gum is chewy, though. I'll give you that. That's true. Good time.

And checks all the boxes. Red hot. Okay. And a big glug of Coke. A big glug. It's so crazy because when I eat spicy things, I do want milk, you know, shockingly enough. Wow. To tamp down the spice a little bit.

That's right. That's right. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to say that that's just me. That's just me. Yeah.

And so then you brought those things to the cash register and what did he say? What's the line he drops on you? Oh, he said, you know, nothing with dairy in it. Oh. And then we really got into it. And he really understood it. That was the perfect pickup line for you probably. That he'd caught on to that right away.

It's like a Sherlock Holmes of 7-Eleven. Yeah. So then what point did he decide to quit that job and only sleep? within a week or two of that interaction. Actually, he quit and moved into my college dorm. Was he? Wow. Wow. Was that allowed?

Did you have to kind of keep it secret? Yeah, we definitely kept it secret. Yeah. Is that when he started sleeping so much? Yeah, actually. Okay. Yeah. So probably easy to keep it a secret if he's sleeping.

Yeah, he's just out cold most of the time. And did you ask him about it why this is? And did he sleep normally before? Gosh, I haven't asked too many questions about it. You really haven't. No, not really. To you, I assume this is your norm, but could you appreciate that that's actually not how most people live their day?

Including you? Unless they have a graveyard shift, which it sounds like he used to have. Yes. Yeah. No, I can tell that that's not normal. You're right. Like I said, unless you work at much. You know, I don't make a big thing about it.

Right. But there's not a health concern? Yeah. There's a few health concerns. Oh, yeah. On his end? Yeah. Okay, what are those?

Well, what are, what are your symptoms? Is something else going on? Like, I'm not a doctor. Okay. Fair enough. Maybe a ticker heart. Maybe a ticker heart. Yeah, you don't want a ticker heart.

No. A ticker heart is where it's a condition unique to people indignant. It is. It is. And it's so weird. Your blood in your heart can sometimes congeal into a sort of, thin, flat, you know, just, well, it looks like a little ticker tape. And it starts just spewing out of your heart.

Eventually, it can work its way up to come out of your mouth. Oh, God, I'm dreading that. If this is what's going on. I hope it doesn't happen. I hope it doesn't happen. Now, why didn't you become a doctor? It sounds like you know so much. Well, I like being a pharmacist because I like knowing some things,

but not thinking that I know everything, which is what I think doctors are like. Whoa, you should write that down. Oh, I have. But you wouldn't be able to read it. That's madding. I always make that wrong choice. I always like to joke about you can't read prescription slips

and try to have it as a fun joke on Burton. And then he reminds me, you know, it's the doctors that write them. But I still make that mistake a lot. Yeah, you still do. I'm really sorry about it. Yeah. But, yeah, so you think it might be tick or heart. Has anything come out of his mouth?

Because we also call it Fortune Cookie disease. Oh, God, that's good. No, I haven't seen anything yet. I'm dreading that. You have to stay in bed after. Oh, boy. Thanks, babe. Good chime in, Doug.

But you have to say it sadly. Have you thought about... Wait, there were other health concerns. I wanted to hear what else she's worried about. Okay. With her husband. With Darrell. Is that okay?

Yeah, of course it is. All right. I was just going to say, well, I'm just going to a doctor, but go ahead. I just want to know what else is going on with him. Yes. Well, could it be sleep apnea? Well, usually you don't get that. Well, I mean, I guess it makes you...

Less sleep, I think. Well, you can. Well, you get less sleep or you just have more rest, less sleep. Yes. It's about quality. Oh, look at you too. Now you can call her NAS. Now you can call her NAS.

Have I read that connection? Yeah, that's pretty good. All right now. Once you have that quote. I want to kind of get a copy of that quote. Oh, sure. I have it on a car. I'll be happy to end you.

Good, good, good. Thank you. So you think, he snores. He snoring? He snores. Okay. Does he talk to sleep? Oh, yeah, he does.

He talks into sleep. What is he said? I'm fascinated by that. Oh, I love that stuff. Oh, yeah. Me too. up on him and listen. You can also put an app on your phone. I mean, this would be involving Wi-Fi, but it records what you say at night. What? Yes, it does. Have you ever done that? Yes. Yes. Is that

legal? Oh, yeah. To record yourself? Yes. It's fine. I don't think anyone else is listening to it. Okay. You can't plan a phone in someone else's. All I did was recite the entire libretta of Sunday Park of George. What? And it was, I sounded amazing. Wow. In order? Correct. Wow. Weird thing is I can't do it awake. I always get a little bit lost in the middle of it. But I can do it. I did it at night.

God, if only you could sleep while you perform. Wouldn't that be great? That would be incredible. Maybe your husband would like it better. Oh. Yeah, he would. Maybe you'd meet up in the dream world like inception. Ooh.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, I'm interested. Oh, okay. Well, I don't know if we can make it happen. This is not something we can arrange. I mean, it is interesting. Oh, dang it. Okay. I feel like I don't know how to help you because I know that you're a private person and I feel like you feel like you've been probed too much by me.

So I don't want to do any more probing. I would say one thing, the issue that you came here for, the cheese in the driveway and the other food stuff in the driveway. The sandwich ingredients in the driveway. I totally understand that it's annoying. It's not. Nobody wants that. Oh, look. Can I stop for a minute?

What kind of sandwich would that be? It's going to be a half sandwich. and it's just butter and one piece of cheese. It's a grilled cheese. Oh. I knew that. Because there would be, I would assume,

a second piece of bread coming at some point. But there wasn't, was there? No, not yet. Okay. I just find that interesting. It's not a complete,

yeah, but how long has it been? It's an open face. It's an open face. I love an open fish grilled cheese. Oh. Sounds amazing. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Just picture a circular one. I think that you're thinking of the square shape, okay? Just calm down, Bert is going to be fine. All right. Grill cheese on an English muffin. There you go. Grill cheese on an English muffin.

All right. Well, I thought I was on to something, but I guess I wasn't. I guess I just, what I want you to do is to try not living next to your window. Just go home. That's interesting. Maybe go in and have a chat with your husband before he goes back to bed. Because maybe they're talking you for being in the window so much, you know? I mean, I hate to admit that you might be right, but it's true.

What is it? What's your name is the Cravitz? What's that from? Mrs. Cravitz from Bewitch. Bewitched who just sits and looks out the window all the time. She's a little busy body. She's a bad. Well, she did see supernatural goings on.

Oh. And she was dismissed as a crank. Okay. But they were happening. She did see them. Oh, never mind. Maybe that's not a good thing. And nobody listened to her.

She was like Cassandra. There's the mother from Psycho. The mother from Psycho. How is that she in the window? She's dead. So that she can't be looking. Yeah. I think you're thinking of rear window, babe, because that's another Alfred Hitchcock movie where Jimmy Stewart is.

Jimmy Stewart. He thinks he sees a murder across the street. I think there is an image, though, of a silhouette. There is, but she's not watching anybody. But he also is, sorry, this is a big spoiler for this moldy old movie. He does dress up as her. He does. He does.

Yeah. Then he lovingly puts the wig on the skeleton. And he inspired so many. horror movies and then they had to make an American horse story about it. I never thought about that before. What? He puts the wig on the skeleton. Yep. He does. He sure does. And then also

And it's also insulting. I think it's ages to just think all you need to do to make a skeleton look like an old lady is just put the hair on her because otherwise they look exactly the same. I'm sensitive about aging. I'm sensitive about aging. I wouldn't have gotten there. But I take your point. Thank you. I also like when

the skeleton spins around on the and then it gets a last like, like, like get a load of me. Like, we see it's a skeleton. Like it's turning around slowly, slowly,

you know, it was going to be such a jump scare. They had to give a little extra. Yeah. I'm sorry, Natalie, to take time away

to discuss a psycho. In fact, if you guys want to have some kind of movie group, I joined. Oh, well, we pretty much

sometimes we're almost accused of being a movie podcast because it comes up all the time. It does. But I do. think that Burt has a point and that you might want to move away from the window,

move into your life. Do you know what I mean? Your life is inside. It's not outside that window. It's inside with your husband who sleeps a lot. Yeah. Maybe do something about the sleeping so much. Maybe try to address that.

Yeah. Because I think even though I think you are so used to it that you might not realize it isn't the norm. And, uh, no. Oh my gosh, bird. What is happening? It's great.

She thought was great. Joan, I have to tell you, I tried so hard not to do that. Did you really? Wow. You did try hard enough. I really did. And then I collapsed. I mean, that's something.

Yeah, babe, you're way too late. I can't believe that you beat Doug. That is such a Doug move. What does it look like when you don't try? Why are you sleeping on that? I've been upside down. The blood is all over the place. You put yourself back up.

I went to let you down at the break. You put yourself back up there? Yeah, I had to give another go out. God, you don't learn anything. That's not. The nicest thing. Okay. Let me rephrase.

Let me clarify. You don't learn anything when you're working on these rooms sometimes and you put yourself in a compromising position. I get fixed. I appreciate that. Okay.

All right. It's a nice way to work together. I don't have too many interactions because he sleeps so much. I'm saying you need to have more interactions. Play a board game. Watch a movie. Watch psycho.

And that'll keep him away. You're supporting both of you. He's not contributing to the household. Is he? No. That's a problem. Smelling salts. Well, that's an interesting idea.

Yeah. I mean, I don't know that that's a long-term fix. They don't think it is. What if it works just once? I guess so to keep them up. You have to switch a circadian rhythm. Do you know what I mean? Because he used to be on like a graveyard shift sort of situation.

But now he's actually sleeping through, I don't know, two shifts at this point. Yeah. He's flipped around. When you talk to him about it because you must have when he was in the dorm. and the first time he slept for 18 hours. Sure. What was the conversation? You know, you slept a long time.

And he said, I don't know. Oh. And I said, oh, okay. Oh, that's a very unsettling a conversation. It is. And then you never spoke of it again? Have we? Oh, boy.

I think that's our answer. If you have to ask. Not much. If we have, it doesn't ring a bell. Oh, Natalie. I don't like this for you. I want you to have some better companionship. So I would recommend that you go home.

No, I don't. It's not a judgment. I think that you deserve that. You do? And I do because you're obviously a hard worker. And I think that you're fixated on people on the outside that are trying to get at you. But what I think the reason why you're looking outside is because you don't want to turn around and look inside. Do you know what I'm saying?

You should write that down. Okay. I will. I will. We'll send you home with our quotes. Absolutely. Oh, that would be great. with everybody from now on.

If you could put it on a towel, too, I would put it in my kitchen. Okay. Okay. What I'm going to do is put it on your window. So when you approach it to look outside, then you'll be reminded. Write it backwards on the window.

Oh, wow. And then I'll get a mirror and I'll read it. There you go. On the other wall. On the opposite wall. Then it will be the right way to you. Oh. The things are always confusing.

I can't follow all the backwards and forwards, but hopefully I can read it. I hope so. You're going to do just fine. Now I'm going to say this with some judgment. I think that your husband's sleeping 18 hours a day is a problem. Okay. I think it's a problem that it's gone on for so long.

How long have we been together? Well, about 20 years. Yeah, that's a long time to be sleeping 18 hours. Yeah. And I think you need to do something about that or maybe just to, you know. Also, does he even move his body? Because there's got to be some atrophy there. There is way too much.

You have bed sores. Ooh, what a good question. I should look into it further, but I don't want to. Well, I get that. might have to. And I think in sort of the discovery of that, you'll realize, oh, hang on a second. This isn't normal. This is a problem. And maybe you guys take a walk together. Then you're outside. You're with your neighbors. They become less of a stranger to you. You can start to identify them between person and kid. And I think that that would be really great. So only go outside

when you're with him. Take walks outside. Talk with them inside. Yeah. And I'll write that down. Maybe go to family therapy with your family who have such an issue with you. Well, Yeah. That's a pretty good idea. How much is that? I'm sure you can afford it. Do you have a name? Do I have a name of a family therapist?

You know, Joyce Van Pelt is very good. I've seen her ads. Yeah. She has the bus stop bench ads, yeah. Yes. She's a psychic therapist, so it can be tricky because she'll just be like, I know. Right. But she's got.

She wears animal pelts. What did you say? On the ad, she's wearing animal pelts. That's like her gimmick on the ads. I mean, she is Dutch, but, but yes, that's, she leans into it. Yeah. So like a big club. Saying me fix family.

She has a hut with a thatched roof, but it gets you, it gets you connected to the earth and to sort of what it is to be human. Just do mastodons on a couch. And a dinosaur for a dishwasher. Anyways. It's a living. So, I mean, do you feel like we've helped you at all today? Maybe not with that last bit. But yeah, any help?

Did you feel like you got any help? Actually, yeah. Okay, good. Yeah. We really like to try to do that here. That's all we're trying to do ever. So leaving here today, what do you think your next steps are going to be? Okay.

I've got to run by the post office. I left to check there. Yeah. I have to. I guess I wasn't thinking. That's okay. I have to do it. And if I don't, I can't cover.

I can't cover the bill. So I can't not go. That was in the immediate. idiot. How about for the next month? What your goal is going to be? Well, I'll be working. I have that steady gig. Right. At home. Am I going to talk to Darrell?

Probably not. I think you should. After all that? I think you should. I think you should. No, I do hope to get those quotes. That'll be the number one thing. You're going to get the quote.

Don't you worry about it. That'll be the number one thing I hope to take away from this. It's two physical versions of the quotes. No, we will do that for you. But I guess we want like a little promise that you're going to try. to address some of these concerns. Yeah. How likely am I getting the quotes?

Is it for sure? For sure. 100%. It's 100%. And what are they going to look like? Are they on paper or something better? I will embroider it for you. Today?

Yeah, I'm pretty fast. Oh, all right. Well, if I walk out with the embroidered quotes on towels, kitchen towels. And Doug can fax it to you if you want. That's true. It's a simile machine. Okay.

I could receive that at the post office. I could receive that. Can you can you embroider my quote? Because if not, I'm going to have to hit up Zazzle. That's fine. Okay. But that's going to take some time. Okay.

But I can't have it sent directly to your address. Well, I'm not going to give you that, but you can send it to the post office. I can send it to the post office. Yeah. Or walk it over. I have to go to the post office anyway. I have to have a confession. Nice.

Good. They do your confession. They did, yeah. I put helium in some of the packages we sent out to lower the weight. You get into a big. envelope. And the contents of the envelope are private. Well, we wish you the best of luck, Natalie. We always do. And thank you. Maybe you'll see it the post office here and there. And I'll check in on you. Yeah, you might. Okay. You might.

All right. All right. Natalie, you're one slippery customer. We'll be back with the neighborhood listen. When the neighborhood listen returns. free, free assorted clothes hangers, free, various colors and types of clothes hangers, free, porch pickup only. Listen, y'all, if you can y'all untangle this absolute rat's nest of hangers, then you know what, you get them for free. I could not do it. I have wrestled with these. It broke up my marriage because it kept me up day and night. Okay. So listen, don't let this happen to you. I need to see you untangle it in my porch.

Pick up only. I need to see you when you're coming here. I need to see that you can do it because otherwise this will just follow you and it'll drag you to hell. Come and get it. Welcome back to the neighbor. Listen, wow. Wow. Natalie, that husband's a problem. It's bizarre, isn't it?

I mean, it is really. I never want to, you never know what people are going through and you never want to cast judgment. I mean, look at my husband builds hundreds of homes, hundreds of rooms in my home. And that's crazy. That's also crazy, by the way. No, it's deranged.

Sorry, but it's crazy. It's deranged, but it's the sleeping thing. Yeah, that's just hard. There's no way that guy's doing well. Why does he bother waking up for the four hours? No kidding, right. Just going to cryosleep for God's sake. At that point, you might as well.

Speaking of Sigourney Weaver. I can't believe she's in that movie. That is crazy. That's kind of cool. What a cool person to just be associated with the world of sci-fi. Basically be the queen of it. It's so cool. That's right.

I love her. I think she's wonderful. She's my favorite Sigourney. Where did that name come from? Do you know, one time I heard somebody pronounce it Sigerni? Nope, that's not okay. I think they intimated that was the correct way to pronounce it, but I can't believe. There's no way.

There's no way. It shouldn't be pronounced that way. It shouldn't be pronounced that way. Better not be. Babe, did you end up getting the coin? Didn't get the coin. Okay. But I was able to grab some food.

What food did you put in there? And what is it cased in? There's like marshmallows. There's just marshmallow. Yeah, that's a good food. I don't want to eat too much. I had a nice lunch. I don't picture you just had a marshmallow.

Are they big or small? Are they jumbo? Big, big, big, big. Big, big, big. Yeah. Hey, can I get your sandwich or anything? No, thanks. I just had a bunch of marshmallows.

I'm good. I don't want to fill up, though, because I can't wait for dinner. Which is going to be. Circus be nuts? Yeah. I don't know. I thought we were having vanilla chicken tonight. Oh, God.

He wants my vanilla chicken. Everyone loves your vanilla chicken. It's a real hit. I know, but it is so labor intensive. It shouldn't work. It shouldn't work. It shouldn't work. It shouldn't work.

Because you ring out the beans yourself. Yes, I do. I stuff the chicken with the beans But I also use the stock I use the stock I like it because it has the flex in it So you get those real vanilla Yeah yeah yeah

Yes But then I do pour vanilla extract all over the outside All over the outside It's a it's a soy and vanilla glaze Yeah And it's baked in like a puddle of vanilla XAXA It's baked in a puddle it's baked in a puddle Yeah

And it's baked what it's baked in is actually a gigantic, well, how do I describe it? It's like, it looks like a bed pan, but it's not. But everyone calls it that. Yeah, I wish you hadn't put that image anyway. Everyone calls it a bedpan. What is it if it's not a bedpan? Fine, it's a bedpan, okay?

It's a bed pan, okay? But not you use as such. No, never, never, never. It just works perfectly. I went to a medical supply store once because I looked up this recipe and people were just going mad for it. And they were like, but it has to be baked in a bedpan.

There's actually a book. That is non-negotiable. If you want it to turn out right. Well, there's a book called bed pan bakes. Right. And there's only four recipes in there. But they're all pretty big. Big font.

There's a pan pizza. There's a bread pudding. Bed pan bread pan bread. Bed pan bread pudding. Bed bread pudding. The chicken and the chicken. What's the fourth one? Oh, a kind of wine you can do.

Yeah, it's not toilet wine. Nope. Because that's for prison. They don't have access to an oven. That's right. But it is no bake. It's actually the no bake recipe. It's a no bake wine.

It's an icebox one. So where there's only three. Yeah. There's three recipes and the extra at the back. So, yeah, it's a, I'll make it, babe, because, you know, I really love it And people actually. Oh, he's excited. Was that for that or did you just get another marshmallow?

No, that's for that. That's for the vanilla chicken. Checking. That's for that. You want to stay for dinner, burn? You know, I wouldn't mind. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, yeah. All right. All right. Yeah, he's having celebratory drinks. Okay. With the rest of the smoke jumpers. Okay. And the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,

was instrumental in, in, in, uh, were they? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You want to elaborate in that or just wanted to say that? I just remember there were a lot of guys saying finally it's our time. Okay. Because I've never been really sure. I just thought

the Rotary Club was some sort of I have no idea what they do. Sudo charitable organization, you know, whatever club. But they apparently, they had some purpose that we did not know about. Okay, great. And most of them came back. Oh, no. Okay. I'm not going to get into that right now. We have one final post

year. And I seem to always find posts like this and you know what I always say. This is not what this app is for. Right. So this is from Irma. Irma. Yep. How many Irma's are still walking the earth do you think?

I don't know. Are we almost out of them? We might be in short supply. Now, here's the picture. It is a picture of just, you know, sort of like a window sill or something with a bunch of tiny black dots. And she says, what are these? tiny bugs. I have never seen before. They are in my kitchen and they fly?

How many question marks on there? There is actually just one, but I think it's still deserved to read like that because it's insane that that is what threw her for a loop. Because that's not a shocking thing with a bug. No. Generally most insects. I don't want to get myself in trouble here, but a lot of them fly. You've seen a flying insect before. Many of them fly. Yeah. So that should not be...

It's not a breakthrough in buggy. It should not bewilder her. And again, all you have to do is take a picture of this. Google can now show you what it is. Absolutely. In fact, you know, maybe I can't even try that right now. Yeah, I would have taken a closer picture of the bugs rather than a master shot. It truly just looks like mold.

Yeah. Which I think it, but that mold doesn't fly. So that's how we know it isn't. I thought it was mouse droppings. Ew, yes. perhaps. Sorry. But they wouldn't fly.

What do you think they look like, babe? What kind of bug do you say? I think they're fruit flies. Don't they look like fruit flies? Probably just fruit flies. I mean, I think it's probably just fruit flies. It's in the name.

It's in the name. Peppercorns. You think there's a bunch of peppercorns that might be too small for peppercorns. I do think it is too small, babe, for peppercorns. You got to grind a peppercorn. You know what I mean?

Sure do. You really got to put some elbow grease into it. My grind set. It sure is. That's what the grind set is all about. Fresh ground pepper. Distance yourself from people. Don't have friends.

You want pepper? This is what you got to do. Grind it yourself. Let's see what this. Only have people in your life who are helping you grind pepper. Okay. Well, it says they're likely fungus gnats. That's close to a mold.

I wasn't wrong with it looking like mold. No, you weren't. But I'm sorry to know now that there's a thing called fungus gnats. I would have been okay without that knowledge. They're only, their tiny black or dark brown insects often found in large numbers and your windows are houseplants. Black or dark brown. Yeah, I know. And the adults are weak flyers, which is interesting to know it's a little sad.

It gets harder to do. Well, look, a lot of things get harder to do as you get older. And to control them, allow houseplants soil to dry out between waterings and consider using yellow sticky traps, which are one of the most horrifying upset. anything's ever. Oh, 100. Yellow sticky traps? Yellow sticky traps. I hate them.

You know, I can grab one if you need one. No. Out of the sky? No, that's one of the prizes. Why? Why would you make that one of the prizes? I needed to fill some space. No.

We don't have a lot of prizes in the house. You can't tell me that you, in the house. You just grab stuff from our home? Did you put things of mine in plastic balls? Maybe you have plenty. Oh my God. What did you put in there? My jewelry?

What? No more. Feminine products Feminine projects What does that mean? Did you put Tampons in a plastic ball? Well yeah, because you can, yeah.

That's not a prize, babe. Because you can, yeah. Well, they have a little string I thought I could grab that. Oh my God. Babe. I don't even know what to say. This is so upsetting.

So they're not even in a ball. They're just loose. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I just wish you had put my jewelry in there. Okay. I think that's all for us, right, Burns? I mean, this has been a daffy episode. I think it has been daffy down to the ground.

Correct. Yeah, I think we got to get out of here. Thank you so much. We're going to get out of here and we're going to eat vanilla chicken. Yeah. Thank you so much for listening. And if you like to get ad-free versions of the show or gang NASA. Oh, well, what?

Gang NASA? You got to take over. Okay. I just collapsed. I just collapsed inwardly. Okay. Or listen to bonus rooms. Oh, look at you, babe.

Good for you. Yeah. on CBBWorld.com, right? We still know what that is. No idea, but it's a whole world. Yeah. You can get extra. Don't you dare shut your eyes.

There's tons of other shows, too. There's other shows. We have nothing to do with. That's right. We have nothing to do with the other shows on CBB World. Yes. Oh, you're back in. Welcome back.

Thank you for having me. Yeah, we'd have a lot of fun stuff in the bonus feed. Some of the stuff is beyond our control. It is. Yeah. But do check that out. And, of course, follow us on Instagram. at the neighborhood listen,

where you can see the posts that we use. So some of these have visual components that you can see. We're not trying to hide anything from you. No, we want to be upfront about everything. We're trying, or a very transparent podcast. Mr. Policeman, we give you all the clues. Tell a friend. Tell a friend.

Spread the word about the show. I don't think we've ever said that. No, we haven't. We probably haven't. Tell a friend. Spread the word. Say you've been listening. Turn people on to this.

So are you tired of listening to celebrities, talk about the TV show that used to be on? Why don't you listen to these three people? Talk about a neighborhood you don't live in. All right, goodbye. And bye. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed.

The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins. And me, Nicole Parker. And me, Brett Morris. Today's guest was played by Laurel Koppik. The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang World. Go to CBBWorld.com to unlock the entire history of the show. as well as brand new full-length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maximus subscribers. Your support keeps the show going.

Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast, That Was Us, now on Headgum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show This Is Us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers.

and casting directors. Are we going to cry? Yes. A little bit. Are we going to laugh? A lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man.

Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.