The Neighborhood Listen - Leg Thickeners, Crows + Good Trash vs Bad Trash with Ryan Gaul

Episode Date: July 13, 2020

Burnt and Joan are back this week with Doug in the mudroom, Escrow the dog and posts about crows and lemons and limes Plus, John (Ryan Gaul) joins us in the studio to break down the difference between good trash vs bad trash and so much more!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Look out, Canadian listeners, this one's for you. Coho is a mastercard with an easy-to-use app that makes managing your finances easier. Coho lets you earn cash back, borrow, build your credit history, and so much more. Join over 1 million Canadians and sign up for your free trial today. Download Coho on Google or App Store today or koho.ca for more details. Plus, for any basketball fans out there, get a $75 e-gift card for nbastore.ca when you sign up with the promo code koho75. That's code koho75. Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website. That our network is scared for us to name for legal reasons, but you know which one it is.

All of the posts you hear our characters read are word-for-word real posts from this neighborhood website. Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. This episode's guest, Ryan Gall. Knock, knock. Who's there? Your neighbor. Good. In Dignity Falls,

you're never alone. You've got the Neighbor Half-Aff and us. Bert. And Joan. From coyotes to mail theft to weird things to sell. We'll cover it all. And meet new neighbors as well. We'll chat about any posts you're missing. So just tune in to The Neighborhood Listen.

Welcome once again to The Neighborhood Listen. Hello, everybody. How are you? I am Burton Mia Payday. And I'm Joan Bedestrian. And we are your hosts for this podcastual look at The Neighborhood of Dignity Falls. Look at you, burnt. Making up a new word.

I don't think it's a real word, do you? I don't think it is a real word. Okay. Now it is. I tell you what, I'm not going to copyright it. I'm not going to Who was the guy with three-peat? Was that Pat Riley? Was it? He tried I believe so. Tried to copyright the phrase three-peat. Did he? Was it? He tried. I believe so.

Tried to copyright the phrase three-peat. Did he? I don't remember that time. Of course, there's famous boxing ring announcer Michael Buffer who copyrighted Let's Get Ready to Rumble. Oh, that's correct. Yeah, that's right. Doug, you love. Let's Get Ready to Rumble.

He did such a good one. Can we afford that? I don't know if we can afford that. Because it was really good. He said it just like Michael Buffer, the famous ring announcer. He did. Thank you. Well, you're welcome. I'm afraid you're... Have you been working on it? For years. For years.

Just, you've been... So, Doug, let me get this straight. I don't want to sidetrack us. He's a little bit of an amateur impressionist. But you have been for years working on your Michael Buffer impression, which consists of one sentence. I think that was the best one I've done. I think I finally maybe reached it. Okay. All right, Doug.

All right. Yes. I'm glad we got it captured for fun. Sometimes he switches it up for fun. Do you know what I mean? Like, let's get ready to barbecue. You know, it's kind of cute. Speaking of switching it up,

today, we cannot see Doug. We are at your kitchen island. Yes. And Doug is just a little bit around the corner in the mudroom. He's in the mudroom. He's in the mudroom just because I figured maybe the sound was, we're playing with sound and also I don't want to get distracted too much.

We are playing with sound and I feel like it's like, since we can't see Doug, but we can hear him clear his day. Because he did a great, all praise to Doug. He did a great job setting up everything. Of course. The connection is crystal clear. It's great. You would never guess that he's around the corner.

You think he's right in the room with you. Yep. And so it's almost scary sometimes. Like Doug is a ghost. Oh, well, let me assure you, he is not a ghost. He is absolutely skin and flesh. Is that the phrase?

He is skin and bones. He is flesh and bones, skin and blood. He's Doug and he's in the mudroom. That's right. We love you, Doug. Let he's in the mudroom. That's right. We love you, Doug. Let's get ready to mudroom. Oh, see, isn't that funny?

I love it. You can do it with anything. Doug's having some fun. You can, but you don't have to. He used to do that. He used to wake up July, be that way. Boy, because she sleeps like the dead. I'll tell you what, you cannot get her to wake up in the morning and he'll come in and he'll say that.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but Doug, I have a question. Were you waking up your daughter with practicing your Michael Buffer impression? Yeah, I figured like kill two birds in one stone kind of thing. Kill two birds in one stone. We're not great with sayings in this house. It's just a thing. It's like we skip that chapter in life. You know what I mean?

You have that on a sampler and I never, I always meant to ask you what that meant. We're not great with sayings in this house. Yes. And I thought it was something maybe an old family member had said one time. I mean, well, I mean, it might have been. And if they said it, we probably would have gotten that wrong too, trying to recreate it. You know what I mean? Good point.

Thank you. Thank you. Speaking of July B, she's in a fight with her boyfriend. And I'll tell you what, I think that's another reason why Doug wanted to be in the mudroom. Because it's been too much female energy going on in the house right now. Because it's just the two of us. And I'm all over the place. And escrow is a female.

And escrow is a female. Which was a surprise. We didn't know that. We just found that out. When we took who we thought was him in to take a look at that tumor, to our surprise, the tumor had grown and he was a she. And as a result of the tumor, do you think? I don't know a lot about dog anatomy. Because she's a woman?

What, are you going to blame that? No, that's not why. I did not mean that. Sorry, I'm a little hot about it right now. It's been a very long open house weekend. I'm going to be honest. Well, first of all, hold on. We're all over the place.

Let's find out about July. He's boyfriend. How old is July again? She's well, she's 17 going on 18. OK, so this is a serious bow. I mean, how serious can it be? It's you remember when you were 17? Young love burnt right at the time that it is.

That's the love of your life. You can't imagine anything different. And I still can't, frankly. Exactly. I mean, you't, frankly. Exactly. I mean, you know, Dylan. I'm still hung up on my high school girlfriend. Absolutely. And Dylan Miller, if he showed up right now, I might make out with him.

Sorry, Doug. Don't really mean it, but I'm just saying. You know what I mean? I am just saying. I do know what you mean, even though you're just saying. I am. I don't know. This guy, he's a, I mean, he's a jock, you know, that's her type.

And that always makes me worry a little bit, coming from an artistic background, of course, you know, I like to be with the more creative souls. Of course, yes. Not the aggressive, drop sports. Yeah, exactly. Water polo players, got really skinny legs. Oh, I take it back.

So, and that's what I figured. I said, well, you know, he's kind of half an athlete. You know what I mean? Water polo is almost ballet in a way. Only half of his body is really, you know, because they got those. So maybe it's going to be tempered a little bit by that. You would think his legs would be a little stronger. Wouldn't you?

It's shocking to me. Because he got moved through the water. Nope. It's the strangest thing. I don't understand how it works. You take a good look at a water polo player and you? It's shocking to me. Because you got to move through the water. Nope. It's the strangest thing. I don't understand how it works. You take a good look at a water polo player and say, something's not right. Wait a second. Is this... Very smooth. Smooth body. Ricky Havens? Yes!

Ricky Havens, yeah. How do you know him? Well, he... I don't know if I should disclose this. What is he on? Is he on some terrible prescription? No, no, no. He... That would make a lot of sense because he had these mood swings. That's what's been going on. He came into the pharmacy one day and he asked about leg thickeners.

And I had to tell him, son, that's not a thing. There's exercises you can do. I'm a little concerned that he thought that it was a thing. But you can't take a pill. I'm concerned he thought that a leg thickener. I mean, he's a jock. He's not, you know. Fair enough.

He's not in the National Honor Society. It's all that chlorine. Probably swallowed too much of it. Probably swallowed too much chlorine. There's a certain amount that's okay. It's like when you're teaching a baby how to swim or even a dog. They love to drink the water. They love to drink the pool water. I mean, you shouldn't let them, especially a baby.

No, you shouldn't let them. But, you know, look, you can't watch your baby all the time. And sometimes. Bert doesn't. He's never spent much time around babies. That's true. That's true. I've only met.

I'm an only child. And no cousins. No aunts or uncles. So I never really spent time around babies. I think I've met two babies max. You've met two babies. Yes. And you didn't meet my children when they were babies.

No, I did not. Because they didn't get to know each other until a little bit later. That's true. So what did you tell him? Did you tell him he's got to bulk up? You could do it with diet or with exercise? That's exactly what I told him. And he did not take it well.

And his response was, I think a bit, uh, a bit, uh, impertinent, uh, some language that I don't like. Oh, well, I don't care for that. Yeah. I've heard that. I've heard that used in my house from him a couple of times and I don't, I don't approve of it. And I think that's what this is. I think this is less to do with her and more to do with him. And I think he's just really caught up in, And I think that's what this is. I think this is less to do with her and more to do with him. And I think he's just really caught up in his image. And gosh, you know, this leg thickener thing really answers some questions and fills in some blanks for me.

He should also, he could wear wider legged pants. He could do that. He's always wandering around in those shorts. He's wearing shorts all the time. Here's what I don't understand. You know, because they're laid back. If you're self-conscious about your legs, why would you wear shorts exclusively? Because they got to remind you that at any minute they can

jump in a pool and, you know, shoot a goal. I told him you should, you know, Steve Harvey has a clothing line. I said you should check out some Steve Harvey slacks. Because the legs are wide. The legs are wide. Yes. It is true. You'll be glad you did.

I don't know if you ever took my advice. Probably not. Isn't that the motto for the store? You'll be glad you did. Steve Harvey slaps. You'll be glad you did. Yeah, that's right. I think I remember that from a commercial or something.

Now, you said open house weekend has been just a bear. Oh, brother. What's going on? Well, you know, the market's a little soft right now, so I'm getting a little concerned. But at the same time, we've kind of got some of these houses that we're really trying to bear. What's going on? Well, you know, the market's a little soft right now, so I'm getting a little concerned. But at the same time, we've kind of got some of these houses that we're really trying to push. I'm sorry, because I don't know. This is like one of those stock market things. When you say the market is soft, that's bad. Well, right. Or is it good? What I mean is it's not a seller's market, right? So the property value is going down. So we're going to have to

be lowering all. I've got these houses that have been sitting around for 50, 60 days. And they're just not, you know, 10 months ago, someone would have snapped them right up. Yeah, that does not sound like a hard market. Buyers are more wary. And so, you know, they're showing up, but they're bringing, you know, they're bringing their contractors and they're picking apart every little thing that's wrong with the house. And it's very stressful, you know. Do you know what I bet it is? And I'm sure you're way ahead of me on this.

It's very stressful, you know. Do you know what I bet it is? And I'm sure you're way ahead of me on this. But do you remember the rumor that people were saying that Dignity Falls? Go on. I mean, I'm just incredulous when I think about this. Okay. Dignity Falls is built upon a lake of sulfur. Oh, stop.

Stop. No. I'm so sick and tired of this rumor. Do you remember this? Yes. Yes. It's like, no, no, no. I had a friend who was there when the house got sucked into the sulfur pit.

Yes. Yes. That story of that family that got sucked in. Their water smells like eggs. And that their ghosts haunt the area. Those are myths. Okay. Those are old wives tales.

It's childish. It's childish. This is ridiculous. This has nothing to do with that. It's childish. It's childish. This is ridiculous. This has nothing to do with that. It has everything to do with, look, it shifts. It could change next week, you know? Markets could be rock hard next week. It could be absolutely.

Am I using that correctly? Is that correct? No, it could be very turgid. We could be looking at a tumescent market between now and two months from now. That's right. And right now, it's limp, you know? It's just— To be frank.

It's having some dysfunction. It is having some dysfunction. That's right. You need to prescribe something for the market, Bernt. Write up a little prescription. You know, sometimes, honestly, Joan, I think in my capacity as a pharmacist, there's so many things I wish I could prescribe and they just don't come in a pill or a salve. Hear, hear. Or a, or a, or a, or a.

Remember salves. I wish salves were making a comeback. Oh, they are? Oh, I'm so glad to hear. They're coming back in a big way. Oh, good. People love topicals. They sure do.

Well, I love the packaging of a topical. I'm going to be honest. Joan, this is right up my alley. Topical packaging is so much more inviting than pill packaging. Yes, 100%. 100%. Well, I'm glad we agree on that. Now, do we have a couple little items of business to get to?

Yes, we did. It's time. Here at Dignity Falls, we are on the NeighborHap phone application. And what we do is we take real posts from NeighborHap and we read them. And these are our neighbors. And we like to find out what is on their minds and what are their concerns, what are their joys, what are their dreams. I wish more people would post dreams. You know, I think that is nice.

There is someone who posts quotes of the day, inspirational quotes once a week, which I've seen someone doing and I think that's nice. Maybe we should have that man

at some point. Maybe that could help you get better at sayings. You know what? You're right. Maybe we should have that person in. Because it's a nice pick-me-up in between

all the stolen mail and the coyote in my backyard posts. Absolutely. Because those get, ugh, boy, those bring me down. Just like an umbrella discussion topic, just so you know, coyotes are everywhere. They're everywhere. Be careful.

Watch out. Don't leave your little pets out at home. Don't leave your big pets out at home. Don't leave, in the yard, at night, I mean. Yes. Yes. At home, don't leave them out at night without supervising them. That's right.

And hawks as well can take your small pets. Coyotes, hawks, don't let your pets be taken by them. Don't let your pets drink pool water. Or babies. Or don't let your pets drink babies. Oh, Bert, that's not what I meant. Don't let them sink those fangs in. Did you hear that, Doug?

That was so silly. I'm kidding around, of course. That was a silly bit. I mean, you shouldn't, but I was just joking. Well, did you have something? I do have one. Speaking of animals. This is Max from Dignity Falls writes this.

All caps headline. Oh. Crow spotted. Max goes on to write. A large black crow was spotted near my garden. Now I have to put up netting to protect my bell peppers! Double exclamation point. Outrageous that these animals think

they can just come into our neighborhood. Oh, yeah. Now look, I understand the frustration. Crows are, they're very smart, by the way, and they will remember you. Is that right? Crows remember human faces. Oh, that's freaky. And they remember how they've been treated.

So this Max, I think he's, if crows can remember human faces and they can look through a window, let's say, and they see Max on his laptop typing furiously. And maybe he's glancing at the crow while he does. He's making this post. He's making this post. The crow, I don't think they can read. We haven't heard that. But the crow may deduce. This guy's talking smack about me.

I'm going to remember this. I'm a crow. Wow. You've thought about this a lot, Berndt. You're really giving this crow a lot of human... Once I heard that crows could remember faces, I mean, I thought about it quite a bit. I guess that is a little frightening. Where did you read that? Is that just known? I think it's just known. It's just known. Is that just known?

I think it's just known. It's just known. Well, I will say, you know, there is something to him calling it our, our neighborhood, our land. To be honest, the crows were probably here first. And they're like, why don't these humans get the hell off of our property? Yes, yes. Well, look, animals were here before we were. It's tough. It's tough. It's tough. It's tough.

It's tough. And I'm sorry about his bell peppers because that's rough, you know. But, you know, go down to the farmer's market and buy a bell pepper. And, you know, crows love spicy food. Oh, do they ever? I love them. Wait, bell peppers aren't particularly spicy, right? They can be. Yeah. But generally, no. I mean, generally, you're looking at a habanero

if you want something spicy. I'm going to say this. I'm not a big fan of bell peppers. I don't think they add anything at all. It's Doug's favorite thing. I tell you, he could be dead asleep. His favorite thing. I'm telling you, he could be dead asleep, and I throw some butter and some onions and some bell peppers, and I saute them in a pan.

He's like right next to me. Like, he came out of nowhere. Buttered bell peppers, my favorite. I told you. Let's get ready to eat a bell pepper. That's like right next to me. Like he came out of nowhere. Buttered bell pepper is my favorite. I told you. Let's get ready to eat our bell pepper. That's right. That's right. That's one of the dishes I do for dinner.

Not bad. For the first time. Just buttered bell pepper. Sure. That's what I do. But just, that's the whole dinner? That's it. That's the whole dinner.

That's all I wanted. He's a man of simple needs. Well, Max, try to be a little more forgiving of the crows. Because apparently they can mess you up if burnt's correct. Exactly. And also they don't know boundaries. They don't know neighborhood boundaries. So they don't know they're in a neighborhood.

That's correct. They're just flying around. They're just flying around. That's what they're doing. Yeah. Well, I have this little post that I think is, well, tell me what you think of this, Bernt. All right. I don't know what's going on.

I'll give you my honest answer. This says, looking for a photograph. Robin writes, I know this is probably. Robin, write. No, no, no. From the Princess Bridal. I love that movie. Oh, and also House of Cards, of course.

No, no, no. And nothing in between. Sort of. house of cards of course no no no nothing in between i meant sort of robin her first name burn this is a silly i got excited i'm so sorry giggles i got so excited robin is her name and robin writes a post that's what i'm saying robin writes i know this is probably a crazy and far-fetched question, but I'm looking to help a friend. Does anyone have a picture of that new rehab building with an old van in the picture? The van had sentimental value to a friend.

Unfortunately, it was removed before he could buy it, and I'm hoping to at least get him a picture of it. Thank you so much, Robin. Did I hear this correctly that there was no even vague area given to help track down this? Well, it is in New Orange Hills. It's the New Orange Hills Rehab Building. I wasn't sure I said, you know, with the rehab building. But they're referring to it as if it's a famous picture of a van in front of a building. This is what I'm confused about.

If it's a Zapruder film or something, you know. That iconic picture of that van in front of that rehab building. And if it was removed, was it sentimental because this friend owned it or they just loved it? They just loved driving past it and seeing this van. Maybe they just loved it from the picture. They just really loved that picture. And they wanted to have the van from the picture. I'm so confused by this post.

It's very confusing because, of course, I know the rehab center. Sure, sure. Everyone does. I've seen all kinds of vehicles parked in front of it. Sure. I've parked in front of it. Sure. I've parked in front of it myself. Right, but I guess, you know, he's not interested in your car. It's this one specific van.

I mean, I can't remember. I don't know why people aren't more interested in my car, because it is an amazing drag racing funny car that I have lovingly restored. You would think he'd want a picture of that instead, yes. Then just some gross old van. A van! And I'm trying to rack my brain to remember, was it a van that had, you know, one of those paintings

on it? You know, a sunset or wolves. Doug used to have one of those, by the way. An airbrush painting on the side of his van? That's how he got the twins. Anyhow. You can't resist airbrush art. I just can't. It gets me going.

Sorry. Excuse me. It's warm. So why don't we take a break? Why don't we take a break? We'll take a break. When we return, we will have our episode's guest. Yes! And see what he or she, it's a he,

is all about. Can't say the same for us, girl, it's a he, is all about. Can't say the same for us, girl. I thought you said you can't say the same for us, girl. And I thought maybe you didn't know that I was a man. Oh, goodness. No, no, Bert. You are for sure a man. I'm for sure a man.

I look like one. Well, this man and this woman will be right back hello bernie joan this is julia i am selling a canvas picture it's ten dollars hangs on wall, looks brand new. Do I keep going? If you look on the neighbor app, I put a picture of it. It's a picture of a picture. It's a long picture that you put on the wall and it looks brand new. So if anyone sees it in your home, they'll say, oh, new picture.

Which in both senses, they will be correct. Because it's new to you and it looks brand new. Again, hangs on wall. $10. Love the show. I don't know this for sure, but I bet you're both Scorpios. Is that true? This is Julia signing off.

Welcome back to The Neighborhood Listen. I'm still burnt me a payday. I am still Joe Pedestrian. I'm kidding around because, of course, we're still the same people. I know, and Doug is still in the mudroom. Doug is still in the mudroom. I think it's working out. Still in the mudroom.

I don't know what that is. It wasn't his goal, okay? It wasn't his best. Was that an impression of someone or? He was just kind of piggybacking off of the rumble thing. The other one that reminded me of was Mortal Kombat, the commercial for Mortal Kombat. Oh, I know nothing of that. It was a commercial for a video game.

Well, I mean, I put that together, but I just. Yeah, that's right. Oh, there it is. Okay, Doug, we've got to introduce our guest. So now this is, I'm going to read his post, and this is from John. And John wanted to come here today to talk about this post, but this was the original one that we saw here on the app. Now it says, Trash on the Streets. Today I took a, quote unquote, trash walk along both sides of Santa Clara.

In 30 minutes, I picked up a full grocery sack of trash from the street and sidewalks. This despite the street having been swept this morning. Why all the trash? Because the sweeper has to go around all the parked cars in the block nearest Yorba. Oh, and because people throw their trash out of their cars parked or, all along Santa Clara. I'm not looking for any thanks. I do it to make my neighborhood look better. I'm sure others do similar or better things. But if everyone did something, even for 30 minutes, even for 30 minutes, we might be able to hold off the steady incursion of trash, parentheses, and trashers into our neighborhood. Should we have to do it?

No. Do we need to do it? Yes. Please welcome John. Hi, how are you? John, welcome to the Neighborhood Listen. Hey, Bert. Nice to meet you, first of all.

Nice to see you, Joan. Yes. John and I. Oh, you two know each other. Yeah, we know each other. We've seen each other around. I think we sort of served on one of the school committees at one point a couple of years ago. I can't remember which one it was. It was the Extracurricular Activities Committee for the middle school.

That's right. Which I love working with kids on almost any level. They're a future of our country. And not just our country, but think about this. Your house, your town, your village, any small community. From the macro to the micro. I don't work in computers.

Oh. And don't know. But I assume... From big to small. Sure. From global to local. That's all it means. Okay. That's true. The snacks. These are for everyone. Oh, thank you so much. This. Yeah. That's true. The snacks, these are for everyone. Oh, thank you so much. Look at this.

This is lovely. Thank you so much. I'm like, all of them look great, but that pile of graham crackers has got my name on it. That's fine. I mean, I'm amazing. I mean, I'm looking at this plate of ribs. I'm probably going to dig into that. I can't eat any kind of cracker, so you're okay with that.

Well, a funny thing, you asked that question. Graham crackers are actually a cookie, misnamed early. I'm going to stop you right there. It's more the shape. You don't like to eat them because of the shape? I can't eat

any kind of baked square or rectangle. Lemon bar. No. Brownie. Bologna cut into of square? Baked square or rectangle. Really? Lemon bar. No. Brownie. So bologna cut into a square? Sure. Well, it's not baked though.

Oh, now wait a minute. That was a trick. What about baked bologna? No, I can eat a Ritz cracker. Wheat thins. I can eat a Ritz cracker. No wheat thins. No wheat thins.

Wow. Burnt. What about a bunch of Ritz put together into a square? Can't do it. What about Ritz with together into a square? Can't do it. What about Ritz with square cheddar pieces in between? No. Cheese it. Wait, wait.

I can eat square cheese, yes. It's the baked goods that I can't eat. I can't eat any baked square. This is so confusing. You would be a nightmare at one of my open houses. Good Lord, I wouldn't know what to get for you. Oh, cookies. A cheese nip.

No, can't do it. Can't do a cheese it? No, a cheese nip that I've nibbled. Oh my goodness. Nibbled into a circle. No, it. A cheese nip. No, can't do it. Can't do a cheese nip? No, a cheese nip that I've nibbled into a circle. No, it used to be a square. Oh, you can't show anything. It's something in the baking process. Okay, well, I think that makes it clear to me.

I hope this clears things up. I mean, it actually brings more I have more questions now. Look, I don't want to talk about me. No, let's get back to John and his crusade against the trash. And we understand that you're not looking for a thank you. So we're going to skip that part. Let's talk about John's garbage crusade.

Number one, I am not coming on here. I do not want people to get me any gifts for what I do. I don't want them to give me gift certificates. Or like, even if I end up giving out my email at the end of this, them to give me gift certificates or like, even if I end up giving out my email at the end of this, don't send me gift certificates. Have people done that already? Well, I mean, I assume it's on people's minds. Like when, well, let me tell you what I do. Okay. Okay. Cause each morning I get up, I'm retired. I'm a retired. Okay. So then that's cause I was thinking 30 minutes. It's a long time. I have time in my day.

I tend to wake up pretty early around 2.30 in the morning. Oh, that's very early. I wake up at 2. That's even hard to consider morning. Well, it's technically morning. I'm already up past my bed. I go to bed at noon. Oh.

So I'm semi-nocturnal. Right. But the best trash you're going to find out on the streets, you're going to find before it gets cleaned up. Now, what do you mean by best trash? Could you elaborate? Sure. There's good trash and there's bad trash.

I did not know this. Oh, sure. And you would think that I'm talking about types of trash that are hard to pick up or not hard to pick up. I don't know what I was thinking. Good trash is trash that comes from good things and it was put there in a good way. Bad? What does that? Could you break that down for us? Yes, please.

I know, but we are going down a hole. Well, you wanted to come on here and talk about trash. Exactly, that's why you're here. We're trying to give you a forum. I think this is fascinating. It is. Good trash is put there in a good way. For example, suppose you're in your car.

I often am. And you have a meal. I don't know, let's say... Nothing square. No, nothing square. Well, you can have... I could have a meal. I don't know. Let's say... Nothing square. No, nothing square. Well, you can have... I can have Wendy's. Sure, you got a Wendy's.

You got a square burger. Say he has a square burger. You have a square burger. You got to wrap it. As long as the bun is round. Right. Of course, of course, Bert, it's round. For this example, it's round.

Continue. You throw that... Like we all do, you roll down your window after you're done and you whip it out. My car doesn't have windows, but okay. Or you may throw it through the sunroof, out onto the street, and you go, God damn it. Is this what everyone does? Well, this is what everybody does. You go, God damn it, I don't want that piece of crap in my car.

God damn it. Okay. You throw it out on the street. John, you're very passionate about this. That is a piece of trash that is meant to be there because that person put that there with purpose. And that's good trash. I would say that's littering. Why is that littering?

That's absolutely the definition of littering. I think so. It's all littering. Oh. But you can still have good litter and bad litter. Trash is always litter, but you can have bad litter and you can have good trash. So in the way that every tortoise is a turtle, but not every turtle is a tortoise. Yes, exactly.

In fact, I've used that before to describe trash. Tortoises could be compared to good trash. Well, turtles could be the shitty trash. What is bad trash? Well, so all trash is bad. Well, no. Some trash is good. No, he's saying some is good. Same situation. Same situation. You're in your car

and you go and you finish that burger and a gust of wind comes through. I don't know what you drive, but I assume it's a big van. I drive a Metro Burning Funny car. Okay. A gust of wind comes, and you go, oh, no. And it flops out the window and falls down.

And you go, well, I'll try to get it. And you reach down, and the wind carries it down. You go, oh, it's too late now i have an appointment to have uh at the dmv to have my um license reinstated because it got taken away a couple years ago and i never had it i never had it reinstated this is still me yeah that's bad trash so just just so i, what makes it bad is. The scenario? You fly out the window and you tried to grab it, but it got out anyway.

Yes. Whether it's supposed to be there, that's good trash. Oh. If it was by mistake and you really didn't want to have it there, but you couldn't stop it because, say, you probably had a meeting. there, but you couldn't stop it because, say, you probably had a meeting, you had to go apply for a job at a local bakery because you spent a couple years in prison. You had to work a certain amount of hours per week. Who is this? This is, I'm assuming...

Is it still me? Is it him? Or anyone. Oh. Or anyone who fits this specific scenario. Anybody who fits that specific scenario. But it could be any type of meeting. It's the specific scenario.

Anybody who fits that specific scenario. But it could be any type of meeting. Can I say, John, I feel like I'd reverse the definitions of the good trash and the bad trash. I would, too. Talk to the people who made it up. I didn't make this up. You didn't? No, I didn't. No, no, no, no, no.

This is all known. This is just known stuff. This is known stuff. I'm not sure about that. Well, but I mean, the crow thing is known. That's just known stuff this is known stuff i'm not sure about that well but i mean the crow thing is known that's just known but can i don't know we can i just say here i am this morning on i'm on one of my trash walks and i do several of these a day uh-huh well several a day several a day so you wake up i would just say trash is a hobby for you i think it's this is a hobby it's a duty.

And it should be a job. I mean, technically. Well, it is. How do people usually get reimbursed for a job? You mean with a paycheck? Well, I don't want that. Oh. I think you guys don't have to get into that.

I don't want that. Well, I don't think anyone was suggesting that at all. What I'm saying is that here I am. I get up at 230. I'm out on the streets by 2. Which no one's asking you to do, for the record. True. That's true. Nobody asked people to do a lot of things, and they do get something back.

Oh, he's got you there. Good point. But I don't know. I don't want to get anyone there because that's not what I'm looking for. I don't even want people to know I'm doing this. Okay, what do you want? Yes, let's start there. I want our streets clean. Okay, what do you want? Let's start there. I want our streets clean.

Okay. I want our streets clean, and that's what I do every day. But it seems like you want us to help. Is that what you're saying? I'm saying that if all of us just changed our schedule a little bit, and if you want an example, this would make the biggest difference. If everybody did this, say, as a community, we all go to bed at noon. little bit and if you want an example this would make the biggest difference if we did if everybody did this say as a community we all go to bed at noon oh well that's more than a little adjustment

i'm gonna say i think you're gonna get a lot of pushback on that one two one two whatever's gonna help you get up and at 2 30 you can get up at three we could do it in shifts people have jobs they don't they don't get home d Doug doesn't even get home until six. I'm asking for a half hour of your time, then. Half hour to six hours. But half hour to six hours of your time. We all go out on the streets. We all line the streets with people and pick up all the trash.

Do you know how clean this neighborhood would be? And, well, keep the goddamn trash out of this neighborhood, if you know what I mean. So not only... Oh, what does that mean? Sinister tone in your voice. Keep the trash out of the neighborhood. Let's put a pin in that idea.

Let me ask you this. Yeah. Yeah, Bert? If everyone were to go to sleep in the early afternoon and wake up in the middle of the night. Great idea. And spend a half hour to six hours picking up trash. Or anywhere in there. Right.

I worry that a lot of other things wouldn't be getting done that need to get done. I was thinking the same thing. A lot of bad stuff wouldn't get done, too. Well, that's true. If you're scheduled out like that, you're going to have less crime because you're going to be too busy cleaning up trash to commit any crime. I'm thinking more like, let's say you need dialysis. Okay.

How do you factor? And I do, by the way. Oh. I had a feeling. I have that done daily. Now, when can you fit that in? Yeah. Between my trash walks.

And I have a dialysis machine that rolls with me. Like a little hand truck? I can't. One of those? I work through it pretty fast, so I have all these plastic bags, which literally have me whipping up to the side of the road. Are you saying that you're throwing them away as you're on your trash walk? You're disposing those bags? I would say that 60 to 70% of the trash I'm picking up on the side of the road is my own dialysis bags.

Why are you, if I may, what might make the trash walk simpler is if you just held onto those bags, you didn't throw them, cast them aside in the first place. Or just stay home. I see the math you guys are trying to do. I don't think it works out, though, because how am I going to get my trash walks in? It's not a question of math, John. It really isn't. It's really not.

Well, you say tomato. Here's what I'm asking. Just everybody put in a little extra effort. And don't thank me. We definitely won't do that. We have it and we won't do that we have we have four two six at gmail.com oh is this your email john four two six and here's the thing am i gonna say i don't know how to send back uh like if you do a digital gift card to amazon i don't know how

to send that back to you so yeah i'm gonna be'm going to be forced to keep it. But do I want you to? Don't do it for $50. I think you're in the clear, John. Don't do it today. I think you're in the clear. I'm checking my email later. We will let everyone know. Message received.

Yes. Checking my email later. If you see John picking up trash that he just dropped, don't thank him. No, don't thank me. I'm doing this because I love our neighborhood and I want it. I want it to be as pristine as it once was when I first moved in here.

Well, God bless, John. God bless. We appreciate your service. Thank you, Bert, to the neighborhood. And I hope eventually you will see that you could cut out this problem entirely very easily. Well, I hope eventually you two see that by getting

on my schedule, we're going to make a better place. Okay, John, we'll see what we can do. Don't send him anything. Don't send him anything. $75. Okay. He's up the price. Thank you so much, John. I don't know if that will be further enticement. Do not send him anything.

Don't send him anything. Thank you. Thank you for the graham crackers. All right. Oh, and off he goes. There he goes. He thanked us for the graham crackers that he brought. That he brought. Yes.

We will be back with more of the Neighborhood Listen. Hi there. My name is Lisa, and I am a little nervous. This is the first time I've used the app, and I am looking to give away a real special deal for you here, everybody. Real special. It's a big deal that I'm letting go of this item, but Marie Kondo says that if it doesn't inspire joy, then I've got to let it go. And, uh, I've just, I realized now that, um, I've just been way too into seals and it's time to stop. And I've been told by my family that it's time to stop. So it's time to get rid of all of

the paraphernalia, uh, anything that has to do with seals. So I have a book it's called seals and it's by Sarah Godwin. And I'm going to charge $10. And there are many color photos of seals and sea lions in it. And that's basically what it is. It's a coffee table book with seals. And they're darling. They're just darling. And you know, if you look into their eyes, you feel like you could tell them everything and that they won't tell your secrets and that they're just your special people. You can do this. Come on, Lisa. I also am giving away, and I can't believe it, two porcelain California sea lions. Perfect condition. They are pristine. They have never, they've never been hurt and they've never hurt me.

You know, and that's what really is the important part. They're $6 a pair, and please don't split them up. If you want to get one, please get the other one, because they need each other. This owl for $15, it would make a nice gift. And please, daytime only. Thank you. It would make a nice gift. And please, daytime only.

Thank you. And it's time to wrap things up here on the Neighborhood List. And we just have a couple quick posts that we're going to leave you with from NeighborHap. I don't know what I'm going to do with all these ribs that John brought over. Yeah, why wouldn't he bring them cooked? I don't know. But you know, to be honest, now after talking to him, that kind of makes sense, doesn't it? I don't

know that he was all there. Yeah, I think there's a connectivity issue. I think that there's some things not connecting. But now I understand what all those bags are. Oh my God, yes. To be honest, that's the mystery that we solved today.

Very good point. At least he's picking them up, I guess. Yeah, my God. Yes. Yes. That was a real, to be honest, that's the mystery that we solved today. Very good point. At least he's picking them up, I guess. Very good. Yeah, I guess. I guess. Oh, boy. I don't know why he doesn't just stay home. I hope he's okay.

I hope he's okay. It must be nice to be retired. It must be. All right. We just have time for a couple quick posts from NeighborHap. Joan, would you like me to go first? Yes, you go first. We'll go first.

a couple quick posts from NeighborHap. Joan, would you like me to go first? Yes, you go first. We'll go first. This is from Despina, and she posts nightstand. This is in the free and for sale section. Oh, sure, yeah, we like to do these. Nightstand, $20.

Turquoise nightstand, and there's a picture of it. It's got a, it looks to be metal, and there's a door you can open up, and inside the door, I think there's one of those, those plastic, you know, sort of holes so you could put a cord through. So I don't know, I don't know why you'd put an electronic inside the nightstand

and then close the door in any event. Nightstand, $20. Turquoiseoise nightstand it kind of bugs me it's the exact same color as the bed so needs to go oh wow can i see that yes it's a it's a lovely it's a lovely picture and you can see a little bit of the bed frame there they're the exact same color oh they are yes look at that they are which i don't i don't know how she got there. Right. It sounds to me as if she just woke up one day and realized they were the same color. Yes. As opposed to consciously being aware of that the second it moved into the room. Yes. Or maybe it was a different color and she decided, oh, I'm going to paint that nightstand.

She's in a different room, paints it, and brings it back in. Now I know why I was thinking of that color. Yes. Because I already have something that color. Also, I don't know what's wrong with them matching. I want to tell you what. Actually, they look like they're a set. Again, I have people come in at stage houses all the time. There's nothing wrong with matching.

There's nothing wrong with matching. And it's been shown to be very calming, especially in a bedroom. Yes. You feel safe because there's not too many conflicting colors jumping out at you. Nothing's going to get you. Nothing's going to get you. Certainly not that nightstand. you. Nothing's going to get you. Nothing's going to get you. Certainly not that nightstand.

If I were to walk into a room and I saw a nightstand and a bed frame, different colors, I might think something's going to get me. 100%. Yes. Absolutely. So, I mean, I get, does it look like it's, is it like a tin? It does look metallic, yes.

Doesn't it look metallic or, so Maybe a tin, an aluminum. An aluminum of some sort. So then I'd almost think that it would make sense. To me, that looks more like a kitchen piece. I'm going to be honest. It sort of does look like a kitchen piece. Thank you.

Yes. So that's what I'm going to say. We're going to rephrase this and say there's a really cute kitchen piece. You could use this as – you could use it as a cutting board on top and then as storage underneath your cookbooks. I think that would be a darling place to put your cookbooks. Business in the front, party in the rear. I wonder if Despina has posted this as multiple

items. How so? Well, like you're saying, she might have posted it as a nightstand. She may have posted it elsewhere as a kitchen aid. Oh, that's what she should do. I hope that's what she's done. That'd be very smart. Despina, if you're listening. We'd love to hear from you. That's what she should do. I hope that's what she's done. That'd be very smart. Does it mean if you're listening? We'd love to hear from you. That's what you should do.

Well, now this is just a quick request. And I don't know, this happens kind of a lot. It's, well, actually, I'm going to read this one. This is from Bonnie. This is all it says. Any limes or lemons? If you would share your fruit, I'd really appreciate it. And I just.

Bonnie, I just. So she knows people in the neighborhood have fruit trees. Yeah, she's just dying for someone to just deliver it to her she sees all these trees she probably wants to you know go and just pluck some off you know because she figures but she thinks she's going through the right channels to ask for it right um but i will say it's i mean you know it's very easy to plant your own tree i mean the limes we've got a lime tree in the back and it only took a few months to bloom and flower. True altruism is a Bonnie planting a lemon tree that she knows she will never partake of the fruits of.

Yes. That's a known saying. It's a known saying. Remember, I don't know them. So that's new to me. You're not good with them. I'm not good with them. I get them a little bit wrong. Here's what I think Bonnie probably has gotten wind of.

People who have fruit trees, oftentimes they have more fruit that they can deal with. Yes. And they give it away to people. She's taking advantage of that system. There's something rough about, you just need to have a neighbor. I guess she desperately wants a neighbor to just do that. But it just seems a little, yeah, it seems a little desperate. Because where does it stop?

Exactly. If you're asking for limes and lemons and electronics, have you got a turquoise nightstand for free? I would love it. I'd love for these two to meet up. Oh, boy. And then she could put all the limes and lemons that she wanted right in that little cupboard spot. That's right. But $20 gets you the cupboard.

And it's just awkward. So you're just going to show up. You're just going to gather a bunch of lemons for Bonnie. In the meantime, you know, Bonnie, God, just a farmer's market. You know, I think that she's seen that some neighbors are probably plucking them, selling them at the farmer's market, making a dollar each when she could just go pick them herself. So she's just trying to cut out the middleman. Or she could steal them from the farmer's market if she wants them for free.

Well, I wouldn't encourage that. We're not. I'm not encouraging stealing. This podcast has not endorsed the larceny of any fruit of any kind. I don't want to give that impression, but I am saying that if she wants it for free, there is a farmer's market that happens in the

parking lot of the Wells Fargo every Sunday and she could very easily steal fruit there. She could, but I don't want her to. I don't want her to either. But if you keep saying it, I feel like she's going to could, but I don't want her to. I don't want her to either. I mean, if you keep saying it, I feel like she's going to do it. I don't want her to do this.

Bonnie, don't do it. Don't do it, Bonnie. As easy as it is, don't do it. And maybe just, I don't know, somebody just give Bonnie the goddamn lemons. You've caved. I don't know. We do not negotiate with Bonnie.

I'm worried she's going to go steal from the farmer's market now because you've mentioned it three times. Because of me. I shouldn't have. We do not negotiate with Pani. I'm worried she's going to go steal from the farmer's market now because you've mentioned it three times. Because of me. I shouldn't have planted that idea. Speaking of planting things. All right. Well, we got to wrap things up.

Joan, how should we end this episode? Oh, let's see. Well, that's a good question. How about you prompt me on a familiar saying and I'll try to get it right. This is great. Okay, this is great. Okay. What about a saying, there's a known saying.

Okay. About pinning all your hopes on one specific outcome. Oh, yes. Okay. I think I know what you're doing. It's got to do with a farm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, let me get it. Sorry, yes. Okay. I think I know what you're doing. It's got to do with the farm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, let me get it. Sorry, I'm sorry. It's, um,

it's, um, it's, ugh. Ooh, this is hard to watch. I'm sorry. Doug, don't help me. He's not. Throwing all your eggs at a basket. Mmm, very close. Damn it. Very close.

Uh, emptying. Throwing all your eggs at a basket. Very close. Damn it. Very close. Emptying. Throwing all your eggs at a basket. Well, yeah, like hoping that if you throw them all, one of them will hit the target. Doesn't that make sense? Yeah, but then the eggs are gone. So if the eggs represent your hopes, you've just destroyed all of them. So what is it? You're going to laugh. Oh, am I going to feel stupid?

It's don't put all your eggs in one basket. In! In! In was all I was missing! Well, put. Put. Oh, I said throw. Yeah. You can still say throw all your eggs in one basket. You don't want to throw eggs, though. That seems like a different

saying for a different lesson in life. Exactly. What is this? We call it a mischief night. Some people call it devil's night, which is too scary. Oh, yes, indeed. Well, we've gone over our time once again. We tend to do that.

But thank you for listening to the Neighborhood Listen. As always, please submit any of the posts. Let's hear from you if you want us to highlight one of the posts. We want to hear from you, Dignity Falls. Well, now that's like me saying us, girl. I didn't catch that at all. What did you say?

That was a rough go. We want to hear from you, Dignity Falls. So if you live in Dignity Falls, you have some neighbor posts, send us. Please send them in. In the meantime, keep your eyes peeled and keep our neighborhood safe. That's right. Bye. And goodbye.

Bye. Bye.