The Neighborhood Listen - More Than Normal Activity with Paul Robalino

Episode Date: June 2, 2026

Burnt's allergy flares up, Joan does a mic drop, and Doug is living plentifully. Later, they welcome Hector (Paul Robalino), a bookstore employee whose daily ritual may be disturbing the local wildlife.Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for the Maximus plan to unlock this episode and ALL seasons of The Neighborhood Listen ad-free, as well as full length exclusive BONUS ROOM episodes adventuring deeper into Dignity Falls!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website. Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad-free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of the bonus room, go to CBBWorld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership. And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. Knock, knock.

Who's there? Your neighbor. Good. In Dignity Falls, you're never alone. You've got the neighbor half app and us. Burn. And Jode. From coyotes to mail theft to weird things to sell.

We'll cover it all. And meet new neighbors as well. We'll chat about any posts you're missing. So just tune in to the neighborhood listen. Welcome to the neighborhood listen. This is the podcast that looks at the neighborhood of Dignity Falls through the eyes of its many residents, two of whom. are seated across from each other at this Kitchen Island, one of whom is mine name,

which is, Joe, Joe, come on. I'm sorry, that tickled me. They wouldn't notice. I think they might have. One of them is mine. Well, they know. But you interrupted the flow. I don't think they would have noticed.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know what? I get the giggles during the intros now. You do get the giggles. I don't know why that is. Is it feminine overdrive? Well, it's no, it's an allergy. I have.

Like, so during sproon, during sproon, which is, of course, our season between May and June. Yes. When we have these carnivorous flowers that look beautiful, but they will kill you. And they also give you terrible allergies. But I also have an allergic reaction to a type of, a type of nut that grows here. And my react, I get the giggles. I mean, it's an actual symptom.

My dermatologist said. I don't know why I went to my druthnot. Are you allergic to goofnuts? For my allergies. I guess because I had some skin rashes too. Exactly. Right. But I guess because I didn't realize giggles was a symptom of it.

Right. So it's probably goofnuts. It is goof nuts. Yeah. And you know what? The thing is, like, I love them. I think that they smell great. They're kind of like macadamia nuts.

They're blue. Yeah. They grow in a bush. You have to, you do have to, like, soak them. They have a period of time where they're incredibly deadly. Yes. But. You have to soak them from.

a week. Because they were called goof nuts because it's like, oh, you goofed. You know what I mean? When a person die, oh, you goofed. You know, because you ate the nut the wrong time. It was a less sensitive time. It was a way less sensitive time. I feel like I'm dying.

Well, you goofed. You goofed. That was the last thing they heard. But yes, then because people are just now realizing that the giggles is one of the symptoms of it. So now hopefully it's taking on a nicer meaning of goof. You know, that's not so sad. just, oh, a goofnut, you know, and the smell of them will just,

even just the smell of them will make you laugh. The blossoms, give me the giggles. The smell of them can also kill you sometimes. It is sometimes a thing. If you're too close. If you're too close, that's right. Because there was, oh, my God, I remember when I was a kid, there was a story about a guy who had a, like, a handful of goofnuts.

Oh, uh-huh. And he just held them right up to his nose and sniffed. And then his head caved in. Caved in. Yes, like the house at the end of poltergeist. It folded in on itself. That's horrifying. And there are people that wanted to have, you know, weddings on goofnut orchards.

And it was just really bad. And you had to disclose that. That's right. It's not politically correct. Well, it's not because people could die. Yes. Or they would just be giggling during your wedding, which I suppose isn't the worst thing. But it's still a bit distracting.

Yeah. But, yeah, so I'm sorry about that. I don't mean to sort of not take responsibility for my reaction, but I am going to in this time. Understood. in this time right now. I'm going to blame it on the goof nuts. Well, let me proceed with the introduction. Okay.

You please go on. I'm sorry. I just want to even look at you. Oh, okay. It's hard not to take that in a mean way. I'm sorry. Is that shit too much? Is that shit too much?

Is that shit too much? My name is burnt me a payday. I'm the pharmacist in chief at the Dignity Falls. Dignity Falls Macy pharmacy. And with me as always is. Joan Pedestrian. And I am the top local realtor and the top local actress in town. I really do feel like we have to find a faster way to say the name of the pharmacy.

It's a mouthful. Well, it's the dignity falls missy. But if somebody says, what's that? Then I have to say it's the dignity falls pharmacy. And then they say, what is it called? Or what if you just said the dignity fallsmacy, which is a pharmacy? To say that. Well, it's the pharmacy.

Oh, boy. Oh, they do. It is, they have all of that underneath on the neon sign, too. And V is in parentheses, underlined and italics. It starts on a neon sign. The pharmacy. So I get it. If you're seeing that sign every day, then you're thinking, oh, okay, I have to say it that way.

Yes. Is that have to you answer the phones as well? No, we talk about this. Oh, sorry. I put my microphone down on my chips. I got to be honest. I feel like I got stuff in my teeth. I'm a little subconscious.

We had a big discussion before the episode. Should we, are we allowed to have chips? And Doug was like. My husband was like, babe, don't put the mic in the chips. Whatever you do. He said, whatever you do, don't put the mic in the chips. Because when those crumbs get in there, I said. Well, he said that there's an oil that is not good for the microphone on the chips,

but also that it's really hard to take in the headphones. And what are you going to say, babe? This is my husband, Doug. By the way, he's recording in another room in the house. Yep, he's Doug. Before we get to that, I just want to say I gave a ranking of what not to do with the chips in the mic. I said... There's chip rules

for if you're going to eat chips and record. Number one, don't eat them right on mic. You know, because they, you know, the crunch and everything. I said the last thing you want to do is just put the mic in the chips. The last thing...

Number one, don't eat them. And the last thing you want to do. In the middle, there's a bunch, there's dozens of other things you don't want to do. Does it? Did you feel... Did you feel because you were using the phrase the last thing you want to do?

you thought you should put that last when it seems like that is absolutely the first thing. That should be number one. If it's the last thing you want to do, it's the first thing you shouldn't do. Yeah. Right. But it seems like the last thing you would think to do. Are you afraid that if you put that up at the top that they would see the last thing and then they wouldn't bother reading the rest of the movie?

Yeah, because they say I would never do that anyway, the rest of this. And I will be honest, I said, well, I'll never do that. And then look at it. I went and I did it. I went and I did it. Where are you... What? And it's okay.

What? What? What? What are you recording from today, babe? I am in the room of abundance. Oh. Okay. Walk us through it.

Well, it's... There's a lot of flowing. There's cornucopias. Oh, I thought that there was going to be a word after flowing. Did you burnt? Yeah. There's a lot of flowing. Flowing cornucopia.

Oh, I didn't put those two together. Not overflowing cornucopias. Yeah. See, I'm picturing like something like a river. That's what I was picturing. Something was flowing by. What does that mean? Flowing things of all kinds

because it's abundance. It's like there's plenty of everything in this room. I'm going to stop you right there, Doug. I'm going to stop you right there. Flowing. There's nothing to do with abundance. I picture flowing. But I can see why Doug thinks that.

He thinks if something is coming over and over and over again. Overflowing. Yeah. Overflowing is abundant. That's what he's thinking. Okay. Yeah. So you need to make your flowing go over.

That's what you need it if you want abundant in your room. You need to put up a few notches. think this is overflowing then. Okay, are you in trouble? What's flowing, by the way? Are you covered in stuff? There's fountains. There are fountains.

So there is a water feature. You have an abundance of fountains? Abundance. There's plenty of blankets for everyone if they need, if they're cold. There's an abundance of blankets. There's just abundant, everything. There's like a deli counter. You can just so many.

This room sounds chaotic. It sounds chaotic. It sounds chaotic. It sounds a lot of hygienic. And feel free to take whatever you want. Hold on this room. want to make sure, I'm just going down the list of things so far. Yeah, what do we got?

Cornucopies. Cornucopies. And they are flowing. Fountains. Yes. Overfly. Blankets. Yeah.

And Deli. Me. Yeah. What do you need? I want it. I want you to be taking care of. I love that your idea, babe, was just cornucos. What's in the cornucopoeia's?

What have you got coming out of there? Well, there's squash. Sure. Absolutely. That rock. hard corn, those mini-corns. The rock-hard corn. Like from big?

When you eat the little corn? What are you talking about? Oh, you're talking about the cocktail corn? Yeah. What are those, by the way? You know, I feel like on wreaths and cornucopias, there's like little corns. Not, not the colored corn.

Not mini corn. You mean dried hard corn. Not baby corn. Oh, boy. This is like medium, you know, but they're like dry and hard. I cannot believe purple. I'm getting lost. This is the tar pit we're stuck in.

Well, I didn't mean to get us stuck. Well, we're here, Doug. And now we have to get ourselves out of it. I'm picturing, I am. I'm not picturing, I'm not picturing rock hard corn. Of course I'm seeing the grapes. Of course, I'm seeing the grapes. Grapes of every color.

Grapes of every color like Joseph's coat. And I'm not picturing rock hard corn. Okay. Well, you don't have to have it, but it's there. How do you know that it's rock hard? He's talking about when you go to a pumpkin patch and they have like, The corn that's like purpleish. Yes.

Okay. All right. I'm not yelling. Sorry, I'm excited. It got really excited. And the husk is dry and it is very hard to the touch. It's just, it's dried corn, I suppose. It's just been dried.

It's all dried up. Yeah. And is it meant to be eaten? I sure hope not. I guess you could boil it or you could pop it. I didn't mean like as is. No. Just pick it up and bite a hung on.

Like he doesn't big. I want to get back to it because honestly, the more I think about it, it's very upsetting. What is that? I don't know. I've never like to look. of them. They're awful. And then, of course, it's cute because he eats it like a corn on the cop. And then it's just this, what's what's he left with?

I don't remember that. Because here's the thing. You don't remember it? He goes to a party. He's wearing the weird white tuxedo. He's big Tom Hanks now, but he's a 12 year old. That is an abundant party in my memory. Yeah, that's a lot of abundance.

There's a lot of abundance. It's an abundant party. Boy, that party is everything. That's most people respond. That's their takeaway from big. Remember that party where they had so much stuff? Maybe the least memorable scene in the whole show. When he's done with it, it's just flopping, right?

It's floppy. Not like a corn on the cob would be. I've blocked that out. Rigid. And this is not. It's flaccid. Sorry, but there's no other way to describe it. And we've a lot of penile imagery already.

We've got rock hard. We've got flaccid. And we've got, what was the other one that I said? I'm sorry. I just watched another. I just watched. I'm sorry. I will admit, I watched heated rivalry again.

as we all know when I watch it again, I call it reheated rivalry. That's right. And it's always better at the second, third word time around. Fuck you, hollander. Fuck you, hollander. You're an asshole. Fuck you, hollander.

And then all of a sudden, they're in love. So I have two episodes left. Okay, good. Let's talk about it. So the third episode. So you got to Kip. Yes, I got to the other people. I was immediately kind of more into them.

I have to be honest. They were more pleasant. Well, they talked. They talked to each other. They said things other than fuck you, they liked each other. Yeah. Yeah. They liked each other.

But yeah, Hollander and the other guy. They spoke like normal people. Yeah, they spoke like normal people. And then back to those two guys. That's right. And more of the same. More of the same. Lots of, lots of staring at a club. That's right. Oh, you know what? I realize one thing.

So at some point, one of the hockey players goes to the other hockey players home. Yes. And it's super fancy. Yes. Yes. And I guess it never occurred. me that hockey players make a lot of money. Of course they do.

Well, I mean, it never, why did I never think about that? Well, because you know what? It's not, until now, hockey players weren't in the spotlight, but now they sure are. And I don't think people talked about unless... Are you saying the show made this happen? Oh, no, no, no. I just think people are talking about hockey now. Oh, I say.

I mean, they're talking about hockey and other things, but they're talking about hockey, I guess. I mean, the only... I never really have seen a hockey game. I know that they went on strike for something like 10 years. Yes. And now this. Right. And the thing is we do have a Dignity Falls.

We do have a Dignity Falls team, the Hockey Team, the Digny Falls criminals. And they are, and they're awful. It is the most, it's, the, the rink is covered in blood at the end. Do we have the Puckers also somewhere? Yes, we do have the Puckers. We have four hockey teams now. The Puckers games are like the Savannah Bananas. You know, they come on and they sing a musical theater song.

Yeah. And but they all have like no teeth and they've got lisps, but they're singing like from rent, you know. And they slap each other in a fight. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we have the puckers and the criminals and people do, people do go. There's two others now. Oh, what are they?

We have four hockey teams now. Wait a minute. We do? Yes. Oh, I think I forgot about this. Oh, because they're on the south side of Dignity Falls. Yes, that's right. So people just don't usually travel to those games.

What are they now? Yeah, they will not go that far. What's the rougher part of town? No, it's terrible. Yeah. I won't go there. So the two new teams are the Toastinators. Yes.

And what's the other one? The Goths. Oh, the Goths. Oh, you know what? They actually have a very huge... They're huge on TikTok. Huge on TikTok. Very big on that.

They can't play hockey to save their lives. No, but they stop and they did they fit checks, like in the middle of like a game. They skate around just in the middle of the game. They do. They look so sullen when they skate. Oh yeah, they do. Yes. What Doug, I think, is doing

is he's doing the version of like arms down to the side, which is hard because they're hockey. They just kind of like shuffle. It's a very slow game. They drag the sticks by them. It's a slow game. Like, they can't be bothered.

You know what I mean? And right, they get in fights, but they're just, they're just fights with words. They're just standing. They're talking to each other. It's really, they're just insulting each other. They're very slow games. They take five hours.

And, and everyone, you know, people take naps during the games. It's very boring. It's very boring. It is. I mean, they are good at keeping the puck away from the other team. They are good at that. But they don't try to score.

Sometimes they will just, one of them will just hide it and conceal it in their uniform. That can't be allowed. I do love the pretzels at those games. The refs are goths, too. They don't care. They are very good. They sell those pretzels that feed four people. Yes.

So it just stretches out over like the whole row of seats. You all just eat it together. It's a really fun family pretzel. But yeah, they skate with the Timothy Oliphon arms, you know, the one that I love to do, though his sheriff walk from Deadwood. That's right. We all know, that's one of my hall passes.

So, sorry, I shouldn't have brought him up because now, I mean, with all the talk of corn and he lived rivalry and, ooh, anyways. What? Well, I'm just saying, if I had an abundance room, they would have a lot of posters of Dimmily the Oliphon, do you know what I mean? I don't get in there.

That's me. The corn was a lot of, there was a lot of sexual adjectives. Oh, that's right, that's right. I thought you meant my family name. Oh, no. That's right. I sometimes forget. Well, sometimes maybe people forget that Doug took my last name and his miss your name is corn.

But it's spelled with a backwards K like the band. So his full name is Doug Korn pedestrian. Oh, it's a backwards R. Sorry. The band is a backwards R. I'm sorry. The band is a backwards. The family is a backwards K.

It is a backwards K. Oh, I got them confused. I'm sorry. No, I was not talking about you. Some of our graphics. I can see how that would be confusing then since you were saying rock hard corn. but I want to come check this out babe I'm a little worried about all the water features

I'm very worried about the deli hams sitting out ice sculptures of course An abundance of ice sculptures Because eventually you won't have an abundance of ice sculptures They will be, it'll be more flowing water There'll be an abundance of puddles Yeah I think it's cool enough at the last

You think it's cool enough Like vibes cool or like No I mean temperature cool So you're gonna keep it freezing This is gonna cost us so much money Oh, you're going to have to. If it's... That is so annoyed.

Not freezing. Didn't the big party have ice sculptures? Probably. Probably. We're going back to the movie. But I'm saying... I don't remember. It had caviar.

We all agree. Do you have caviar? There's caviar. Remember he didn't like it. There's caviar. There's caviars. There's caviars here. Wait, hold on.

At a party with ice sculptures, we agree that that exists. I mean, in a very fancy. Possibly, yes, maybe some place it does exist. It wasn't all in a big lock in freezer. No, but they... But eventually they will melt. Right. Well, you carry them out before they melt.

Obviously. I think the party ends before they melt. I think that's the point. Yeah. It's not supposed to be a 24-hour situation. And then this is going to be just like when you wanted the mountaintop, like to go get a course where you open a door like the commercial and you just pick a course out of it. And that put us in the ground.

That put us in debt, babe. And we can't do another real like that. You guys were in the ground. Well, I'll reel them in. When you're in debt of Dignity Falls, you actually have to stand in the ground. Yeah, they make you stand in the ground. Yeah, that's our equivalent of debtor's prison.

You can disguise yourself, though, like the Maskinger. But they don't know it's you. You can't. I had had an Angela Lansbury mask. No one. No one knew. She died in debt. No, don't say that burnt.

Crazy gambler. That's not true. I will not. not let you besmirch the name of Angela Lansbury on this podcast or ever. She was a queen. Anyways. Anyway. Anyway.

How are you and Gabby? Is the incident over? Just about. Okay. Wait, it didn't happen. We would know if it happened. No, no, no. It hasn't happened.

We're, they're keeping it. We. They're staving it off for now. Steving it. Okay. That doesn't sound forceful enough. I know what you mean. Yeah.

But it was a lot. worse. Are you ever going to tell us the truth? We don't talk about the incident that happened many, many, many years ago. And now his girlfriend, the fiancé, sorry, his fiance, always get it wrong. I said wife last time. That was crazy. That was inarguably crazy. That was bananas. It was crazy. It gets Savannah because that was bananas. Get them there, get them there and sing their musical theater songs. I find it charming. I love it. I wish I was good at a sport because I could do that. Yeah.

You know, like if I, I don't know, if I played softball and then I could open up, you know, with a little song from chorus line or something and then go play softball. There should be more Harlem Globetrotters versions of sports. There definitely should be. What's that? Oh, I was agreeing with you. But you said, mm, sports. It's all I heard.

It didn't, it didn't sound like an actual agreement. Mm, mm, mm, sports. Mm, mm, sports. Mm, mm, sports. Sports. Mm, sports. Wait, so like a baseball game, but where they just utterly dominate. But that is the Savannah bananas.

Because they're doing funny stuff. It is a dedicated. Yeah, but it's not like Harlem Globetters. No, it's exactly like it. But hear me out. Okay. But do they utterly dominate the other team? Yes.

Oh, yeah. So they just hit Homer after Homer. No. They do. When you think of the Holland. Okay, so you're saying no. Hold on. I don't want to be feisty.

He means the Glob-Totters always lose, right? No, the Glob Choddollers always win. I thought that's, you were. trying to suggest. The Globetrotters play one team. Yes, they always wait. Well, you have to get mad at me, Doug. You're the one who's confused. Should I leave? I'm not confused. I'm not confused. Oh, my God. Hold on. I think listeners will understand

what's happening. Oh, will they? Okay, here's what, here's a distinction happening. There's a distinction. There's a distinction happening. The Harlem Globetrotters play one team. They play the Washington General. That's correct. They always lose. Yes. Kick the ever-loving stuff out of

them. Okay. That was important to say. The point, though, Doug, It's not so much that, wow, they won again. Right. It's the fun stuff that they're doing. I know. It's like wrestling game. I mean, it's already decided.

Everyone knows. I know that there's an entertainment factor. Okay. Yeah. I think that's serious to say. There is also a game happening that is completely lopsided. I think that's very much an afterthought. And I think the main part is, look at these guys doing this crazy stuff with basketball.

The Savannah. I don't think anyone walks away some game going, wow. They're a great team. Do they have an opposing team that they just win? I don't know if it's the same team every time. But I have seen clips of the Savannah. I've seen clips of the Savannah bananas playing another team. And the other team also has to have, they have to be ready to do skits and stuff.

Yeah, they're entertaining and stuff like that. They have to sing. Okay. So it's like both teams are the Holland Globetrotters. In a sense. If that helps you, then yes. I really like to get back to the incident. It is a fair question.

It is a fair question, babe. And I'm sorry if I made it harder. But I will say, to be fair to us, there's an abundance of fairness here. Certainly. The idea that you associate the Harlem Globe Trotters with just absolutely crushing the opposition is, is, yeah, I don't.

I don't. Oh, I'm so sorry. This is a rule number one. I'm so sorry. You did rule number one. and the last thing you should ever do. I forgot. Can you believe me?

I forgot. I can't believe you. What kind of chips are those? There's these really delicious, like, almost, they're almost translucent. They have so much olive oil on them. Our neighbor makes them. They're not fun to look at. I'm going to say that.

They're not fun to look at. Well, you know, we have a... It looks like a membrane or something. Yeah, it does. It's very membrane. I like them because they're very, It's a great lubricant for your throat For what singers love to have chips before they sing

This is like a special You know because it gets rid of mucus Is this true? It's absolutely true. People will gift like a Broadway performer Lays potato. Well I don't want to Any potato chips

I'm sorry You started off with rock hard. Or brand names No it's actually true Like it's a trick It's a singer trick Really? Yes

And what is it about this What is it? It kind of works both ways If you have, I don't want to say If you have schmukas, if you have, I can't think of anything that's better. Fine. Build up. You don't mind the commercial for mucinix.

You think those guys are great. I hate the name musinx. Picture those guys. Right, but those guys who are like, you know, the great, you know. Yeah. I'm mucus. Isn't that an improviser? Is Jason Manzook?

Yeah. Okay, so just think of Jason Manzukas, okay? Just picture the little mucus guy. Do you think they hired him because he has a, Part of his name rhymes with mucus? Oh, I show. That would be crazy. But something salty will sometimes break that up, right?

And also at the same time, if you're dry, the oil from the chips will help your throat feel less dry. Oh, well, then lays, I get it because they are great. You know what? If you want to really help us sing around, give him some wise potato chips. What are wise potato chips? Wise potato chips are maybe the greasiest potato chip that exist.

There is East Coast brand Okay Their mascot is an owl Oh that seems weird I don't know I just wouldn't associate A potato chip with an owl Do you what I mean? Do you don't think they eat potato chips?

I just wouldn't associate that animal I don't know I'm sorry that that stopped you in your tracks I didn't mean to interrupt your What about Tootsie Pops? Do you associate them with owls? No I do

Why? One two Three The owl Tutsop op owl I don't know why I'm on try for my association with owls and food. Okay, so go on about the wise potato chips.

By the way, I measured how many licks it took one time. Of course you did. Over 7,000. Oh, God. He didn't come out of his room until he was done. It was a weird time on the house. How long did that take? It took all day.

Did you take meal breaks? That was my meal. That was my reward. I kept asking if he needed anything, but he said no. His tongue, though, got a third-degree burn, and so we had to take him to the urgent. Third-degree. How fast were you licking his tussie-up?

I was using one of those chess counters, you know, that they hit when they're on their moves. But why? It's just you in there. To tick up the licks. One of those chess counters they hit when they're on their moves. When they do their moves. You know, the little timer.

Who? Like a chess player. Oh. How are you able to divine that? I barely was able to. I want to tell you, I'm so. I was barely able to catch the word chess. Really?

When they do their move and then they hit that thing. No, he knows. It was just that. When they do their move and they hit that thing. Chess clock. I'm going to stay in the room. Oh, no. Not again.

Needling me. Oh, no. No, we're not needling you. We don't mean to needling you. Okay, so this incident that has now been staved off by your. I can't believe this. The most dramatic things happened to you burn, and then you smugly brush them off,

and it makes me crazy. And I just want to make sure they're all going to be safe. It sounds like you have the smugglers blues. I don't know what that was, but your face change. I didn't recognize you. You don't know that famous song by Glenn Fry? I do not. The smuggler's blues.

Yes, it was written for the Miami Vice TV show. Okay. The bluesiest TV show. Of all that. Arguably the bluesiest. TV show of all times. Doug, how long we've been recording?

He's got to get up from his abundance to check. I was in my hammock. How many hammock's in there? How many? It's not made of ham, as it may as you need. It's not made of ham. Plenty for everyone.

Please say it's not made of hamhawk. You just say hammock and not hamhawk. Okay. 26 minutes. Wow. All right. We went three minutes over. A little over.

Yep. Our internal clock. Sorry. Our chest clock. Our internal. thing, you know, that you hit. Yeah. All right.

Well, it's time for us to hit our internal thing and take a break. And when we come back, we'll have a guest right here on the neighborhood listen. When the neighbor to listen returns with a guest. Hi, everybody. It's Nicole. And Paul, are you here? I am here. Oh, great. And I have a question for you, Nicole.

What is it? I'm here too. Oh, hey. Okay. Brett. Hi. Okay. No one was doubting that. Well, we'll go around the room.

Okay. Yeah. First, I would like to talk about summer. Is that okay? Yeah, but I have a. question for you that's related. Oh, great, good. What does summer always make you rethink? Oh, okay. It always makes me rethink what I'm reaching for every day, meaning in my clothing, lighter fabrics, better materials, pieces that just feel good in the moment. You put them on and look effortless.

And that's why I keep going back to Quince because they focus on... That answers my second question. Oh, right. Okay, go ahead. Ask Brett the second question. No, my second question for you was, is that why you keep coming back to Quince. Oh, and yes, it is. Okay. Because they focus on high quality essentials, assentibles. Oh, I'm hungry now. I love an essential. Let's get through this ad. Then we can all have some essentials. Essentialables for the table?

Yes. Okay, great. Let's be bad today. We'll get essentials for the table. We'll get essentials for the table. I like combining all the essentials together. So do I.

Me too. And essential suicide? Yeah. And I also love breathable linen, soft organic cotton, washable silk. But without the luxury markup, it is that rare balance

where everything feels elevated but still easy. And here's the thing. Quince has beautiful everyday pieces like 100% European linen pants, dresses, and tops, with styles starting at $32. That's low for clothes. It's low for clothes. Their denim is soft and easy to wear, and their organic cotton sweaters are perfect for layering on cool summer nights.

Everything in Quince has priced 50 to 8% less than similar brands. That sounds good. It does. And Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middle men, the most despised, class of man. So you're paying for quality, not brand markup. And it's not just clothing, Paul. Quince has really become a destination for elevated essentials across home kitchen, bedding, and beyond, making it easy to bring a more premium feel into everyday life.

Now, let me tell you something. Please. I went to Quince recently because I'm going on a tour. Brett, I'm talking to you too. He almost called you Doug. He almost called you Doug. That was a close one. Because we're sitting in the same position.

We sure are. We sure are. They found us out. So I'm going out on tour. Brett and I are going out to. together. On tour, on tour. And

not steady. And I went to Quince and got myself a casual linen suit to wear for travel. Oh, cool. So I can look stylish. You know what?

I always admire people who are attempted. They made an attempt to look stylish for travel. You know who else likes it? Who? Flight attendants. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. Well, thanks to Quince.

You're going to get a compliment. Thanks, Quince. Thanks, Quince. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to Quince. Oh, wait. Hang on, Doug, Brett. What did you want to say?

Doug Brett. What did I want to say? We interrupted you. I actually didn't say anything, but I will say that they have rugs. They have great rugs. Oh, okay. Everybody, they have great rugs. There you go.

Yeah. I got like a white button-down shirt recently from Quincy. As a rug? Yes. You're a strange guy. Well, here's the deal. Here's the deal. Everything can be a rug.

Everything that they make can be used as many different things. So elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash T&L for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too, you guys. Congrats. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash T-N-L for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash T-N-L. Hey, it's Carlos.

Any barbers free at the moment? Need a haircut. L-M-K. Any barbers? And barbers out there. Are you free at the moment? If any barbers are free at the moment, I need a haircut. Let me know if you're free because I need a haircut.

Is this the best way I could go about this? Shrand, welcome back. We do have a guest here at the Kitchen Island, Joan. Yes. Burnt. strand. Yeah, for fun. I'm just having fun, Joe.

All right. Just eat your chips. Come at me with a mouthful of chips. All right. As we do every week, we scour the neighbor app, the social networking application for neighborhoods to find interesting neighbors to talk to. Maybe they have a message they want to get out there.

Maybe they have a question. Maybe they need to be held to account for something. This is interesting because we have somebody here who's going to address a post that somebody else wrote. I love that. Because they know something about this. This was submitted by,

if you see a post, do you think we should talk about? Wanted to screenshot it and send it to us at burnt and Joan at gmail.com like Molly Crewett did. Thank you, Molly. Molly sent in this post

from Stephanie. This is in the crime and safety section. I have noticed that some of the wildish animals are acting strange. Squirrels dashing into the streets very quickly. Turkey's wandering around.

Activity more than normal, parentheses. Again, No commenting on how they always do this since this is different. Close parentheses. Please drive carefully so you don't hit any of these creatures. Now here to address this is Hector. Hector, welcome.

Hi, Hector, welcome. You'll have to, excuse me, for being a little bit of horse. It's a goof nut season. I don't know if it is. Oh, oh, friend. Listen, I get the giggles from it, so I'm feeling it too. It's just a lump in my throat. I've been drinking tea all day.

Oh, no. A lump in your throat? It hasn't helped? So sorry. I think it just soaks the particles more. It consolidates the lump. Yeah. Yeah.

And then they just spread more easily along my esophagus. Oh, dear. Well, you can always try a chip because sometimes that'll break things up. Do you have any that are not translucent? I notice what you're eating now as a little. Okay. Well, no, sorry, I don't. You don't have any other chips?

I mean, I could have... You don't have a tube of Pringles in here? I didn't mean to distract us. I'm sorry. No, that's all right. That's okay. So now, Hector, you contacted us. You said you wanted to address this.

Mm-hmm. And do you have an expertise in the field of animals? Well, you guys, I'm actually here a little bit tail between my legs. Oh. I'm embarrassed. Okay. I saw this post on the app. Uh-huh.

And I saw that these animals are acting a little unruly. And I think I have something to do with it. Okay. Oh. Now, Stephanie writes, and she tries to head this off. I know. But I got to say it anyway. You have to.

This does sound exactly like what these two specific animals do. It's absolutely what they always do. Do you disagree with that? Have you been observing them? Do you go out? Do you watch them? I would say I pass a little. You can't help but notice a squirrel.

You know, because the squirrel will constantly run across the street because it's something that happens so often. So I noticed that because I never want to hit a squirrel with my car. I never do. And turkeys, of course, they're wandering all over the place. Yeah, they do.

They come through our yards sometimes. I have to disagree, guys. I'm sorry. I agree that the animals are acting a little bit kooky and I have something to do with it. And I actually have a confession today. There's something to do with it. Okay.

Yeah. Let's just get to it. He seems ready. I have been practicing energy channeling at home. Okay. Telekinesis. Oh. Telekinesis.

So moving objects with your mind. Moving objects communicating, reaching out people across the globe, trying to summon them trying to communicate with my mind. Oh, this is more than just a couple things. This is a couple things he's able to do. I'm able to is I'm not sure. I'm practicing. I'm trying.

What made you start practicing this? I was a big fan of X-Men. Okay. Growing up, that's pretty much what it is. Professor Charles Xavier and Gene Gray. And Gene Gray, Dark Phoenix. Yes, yes. And I've been watching clips online of how to channel this energy that all of us have.

All of us have this power. Is that right? Is that right? I've never heard that. Well, I guess some people must believe that. Do you believe that all of us have this power? I believe it to be true, and I've been trying very hard. Oh, okay. Before we get to the animals, is there some other evidence you have of this power manifesting itself?

When did you first notice you were on the right track? let me tell you something. Ever since I discovered these videos and I've been trying to channel this power, people have been treating me much kinder. What videos are you watching? I Google. So I use Bing, actually.

I don't use Google. Okay. I have a sort of issue. I don't want to get into it. I'm under NDA, but I use Bing. Oh, under NDA for, from Google? Okay. I mean, that doesn't sound really.

Who's muscling you? Is it Google? It's a pending lawsuit. I don't want to distract us. He's come to us with a bunch of things. He's come to us with a bunch of things. of mysteries right now. Can you tell us and we'll cut it out? Okay. Oh, there you go. Yeah, I googled some things and the FBI got mad at me. Uh-oh. They got mad. Yeah. Oh, no. What did you Google?

I googled actually, it was recipes. Really? But from, from North Korea. And then apparently you're not allowed to do that. You're not allowed to do that because of our government. You Googled recipes from North Korea. And so did the FBI show up at your door? Well, they assumed I was sort of tie to their government. I was really just trying to make some delicious soup, some delicious noodles. Sure. And they thought it was suspicious. I don't know much about North Korean cuisine, I'll be honest.

I know nothing about it. And that's what drove my curiosity. I'm very driven by that. Okay. Okay. Wow. He's very intense. He's a very intense stare.

Yeah. Okay. So then the FBI got involved. The NSA got involved. Everybody wanted to, you know, put me away. And then they said, as long as you don't use Google again. Oh, that was it. It went from, we're putting you away forever.

They just said as long as you don't. Or just don't do it yet. Were there options? So they must be monitoring you to see if you are Google. They said Bing is fine. Yahoo's fine. MSN is fine. MSN is fine.

What about Duck, Duck, Do? I haven't tried it. I can certainly try Dogpile, I think, is another one. Sure, absolutely. So then you... And let me tell you what, Google's kind of shit these days with all the AI they're putting in there. So it's not really a lot. Now, how do you know this?

Sometimes I'm over my friend's shoulders as they're Googling. So that's a lot. Over your friend's shoulders. They said over your friend's shoulders might be okay. If I'm not typing. You're not typing. So you can tell your friend, will you Google this for me? Oh.

I can. Interesting. Wow. So what did you type into Bing to try to find out how to have telekinesis? Oh, I just searched Powers, human beings. Is it possible question, Mark? And so then what kind of a video did you get? Well, there's all sorts of people who have practiced this sort of thing for many decades, I'd say.

And they put their knowledge onto the wide web. That's what kind of... And I hate to be this person, but how do you know that they're not using... They put it on the WW. How do you know that these people aren't also using AI to show that they're, you know, making a glass mirror or something? Very question of show. Thank you. Well, some of these are dated, you know, from several years back before AI got quite so sophisticated.

I mean, even several years back now is actually... These are like 2010. How several are we talking about? 2010. Okay, 2010. All right. Maybe, sure, sure. So there's a lot of knowledge out there.

And then I realized that all of us have. have this power really if we tap within ourselves very deeply. I believe that. So I've been trying to I've been trying to reach out and communicate with my own abilities. And so yeah. Well, we're going to get to the animals now, right? Like, why does- Well, I want to know, I want to know what is your goal with these powers? What is it that you- I want to be able to have a conversation with my family that lives across the globe. I want to be able to just with your mind. Just with my phone call with my brain. Okay. Now, do your, do your, do your cousins across the world, do they also have to have these powers in order for you to be able to do that?

Right now, I'm not sure. I think it could be one way as long as one of us hasn't because I can make the call and I can also receive the information. Okay, can I just ask, maybe this is a stupid question, but we have such great technology now. Fine, burnt. I know you will anyway. You could just FaceTime someone. Why do you need something that much more immediate? I mean, you truly can just pick up a phone and now actually see the person's face. Well, now you're making me feel a little silly. I'm not trying. No, I just, I... You've never had a fantasy of having a superpower? Well, of course.

Well, that's, of course, not true. I think everybody does. You don't want to levitate things with your brain? For me, I want to be able to dig. You can, with this, you can lift the dirt particles up and make a hole. That's not the same as digging, though. Yeah. For me, I just want super human hair.

I just want my hair to look fabulous no matter what. May I ask why you want to dig? With powers you want to dig? I want to dig super fast and super... And I have a follow-up. Super speed, I suppose, is very different from what I'm doing. But just for digging. Hector, that voice who hears my husband, Doug, he's in a different room.

Oh, I thought I was channeling some sort of person from far away. Oh, I can see how you thought that. Oh, sorry, that's unfortunate. You thought I was across the globe? I thought you were maybe my cousin in South America. Oh, what a rugpole. Sorry. Doug pull.

Well, it was very nice to meet you. I mean, yeah. I was going to ask you, Bert. Yes. Your dream, your superpower dream. Yeah. in this, do you have like mole hands? No, I have my regular hands.

Oh, I was picturing sort of like almost construction-like hands. That's what would come out. Construction like hands? Yeah, you know, like claw, like diggers. Oh, so you want to be a mutant. A full-on mutant. Your body is morphed into something else. No, they want this for me.

This is what we were picturing. Sorry, Bernd, you don't change it all. You just don't want to drill. You don't want to drill on you. You just furiously dig with your hands. Yeah. And I wear like a uniform. Oh, you do have a uniform.

What does your uniform look like? Okay, on the chest, there's like an emblem of a shovel. An emblem of a shovel? Okay. I have, it's a brown with green trunks over top of it. I'm unsure if I wear a mask or not. Okay. I might wear goggles.

I was going to say it might be good for all that quick digging. Yeah. Now, Joan, I noticed that when I mentioned I want telekinesis, you were very questioning of me of why I would want that. And now you have this digging thing To me is a total mystery why somebody would want that. And you don't seem to be questioning him at all. Well, okay.

You never wanted to dig. I'm going to give you two answers. I know burnt better than you do, right? That's very true. Yes, I did just met him. And it just lines up with him so much that he would love to dig. All the things I know about him, of course he wants to dig. Are you in real estate?

I'm not. No, Joan is. I'm a pharmacist. I'm a pharmacist. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we have my fabulous hair and you're with your fabulous digging. Now, you know, there is a superhero that has hair powers.

Is that right? In the Marveling universe. She's some lady. She has a big, gigantic red hair. Do you want me to bing it? Oh, would you please bing it? And I think, I think her code name is Medusa. Oh, that sounds familiar.

And she's one of the inhumans. Oh, that's fun. And to answer the second part, to do a second answer to your question, we were talking hypothetical, right? And so that's why I think I can talk about it more freely. It's more playful. Correct. And you were actually actively trying to do it. I'm trying.

Well, and then that always adds an element of like, oh, Are you well? Or? I have therapy every single day. I should hope I'm well. Every day. Every day. I have my noon slot.

Was there, forgive me, if this is too far, a bridge to cross, but was there some sort of recent trauma that you've had that requires? I just have a really good insurance. It would be a waste for me not to take a family. Sounds nice. Can I ask what you do for a living? I work at a neurotic bookstore. Did you say neurotic? Necrotic.

Oh, there's three on the table. Erotic, neurotic, and necrotic. I can see why you might have thought I said neurotic. It is, in fact, an erotic book store. Got it, got it. Erotic books and toys, yeah. Oh, well, there you go, babe. You could go get some stuff from his store for your room of abundance.

It's not my store. I simply worked there a couple days in weeks. Is that down on Erotica Row? It's on Obama Boulevard. Okay. It's nicknamed Erotica Row. I don't think he realizes that a lot of it. It is a chain. It is a chain of sex stores all on the one block. Maybe that's what you're thinking. It's all the same store. It's too bad that that's what Obama Street does. We're a chain. We're a chain, but all of the stores are on the same.

There's a cool kind of two block. Sorry, what's the name of your store? Erotic books and toys. Oh, erotic books. Sorry, I didn't realize that was the title. It's great. Except no subsidies. It absolutely advertises what it's selling. Exactly. I like the little monorail on Erotica Boulevard. So we have a tiny monorail. I will not go on that thing. You won't? You're worried about what people are getting up to you on that Monorail? I'm not worried about it. I am absolutely certain of what they're getting up there.

If you're at the one store and they don't have the title you need, it's quick to just be able to hop on, go down to the other store. No, I understand. So that store sells erotica. It sells erotic toys. You also sell seeds. Why is that? Seeds.

Yes. Plants, well, plants are. are aphrodisiacs. That's true. And also a lot of people get really turned on by the whole pistol and stamen, all the biology of that. It's actually quite sexual, really.

Pollinating, you know, there's a whole pollinating. Flowers are pretty dirty. That's the same reason we sell bees. Well, you haven't heard of flower porn? When you see bees and you see them pollinate, I don't know about you, it does turn me on a little bit, but I'm a little desensitized even because I work there. But for a newcomer, it's particularly,

exciting. And they also sold, if I'm not much mistaken, they sold birds at some point, right? They could buy birds and bees together. Flowers. Anything that reminds you of sex is fitting for our store turkey basters too. Sure. Yeah. Honestly, you know, I've had a lot of people get pregnant from their turkey basters rather than just going to an actual doctor. And who has money for us? I mean, I mean, I'm, truly. I mean, I'm mad. I mean, I'm glad for you. It's the only place you can still get herbal essence, right? The shampoo. Because it makes you have an orgasm.

Yeah. Doug loves that one where she has an orgasm in court. Our supply is running low, so if you want some, please swing by soon. I'm trying to remember that commercial. So the shampoo is so powerful. That's hours later. But she's at work. There's a hair power.

She still has the shampoo orgasm. There's a hairpower. That's a hair power for you. And if I remember, right, her husband was not how. about it because he said something like, I have to deal with this every day. Oh, I'm sure. He wasn't.

The woman just can't, you know, get an orgasm for shampoo without a husband complaining about it. Has to make it about him. Typical. Do you think that it was in the wake of when Harry Met Sally? They're like, why don't we use that in our shampoo commercial?

I feel like it came way later. I feel like a person who grew up watching one hair, Matt's, I was finally old enough to be an ad executive and that's when they brought it up. And she showed them the scene. Yeah. Okay.

So you work, you said part time there? Part time. Wednesdays and Fridays. Wednesdays and Fridays. is what do you do with the rest of your time? Is it just this? This sort of YouTube? I have a hedge fund.

Oh, well, congrats. Yeah, I know. What else can you say? But congrats. I just have money. I don't know. I said hedge fund. I meant, what did I mean?

Oh, trust fund. I think you meant a trust fund. I meant a trust fund. See, I'm so, I'm so hands off. Right. I don't even know what it's called. Sure. It must be so nice to just not even know what it's called, but at least you got the money.

So your family is wealthy? Yeah. Are they, and they're all living across the globe or? They're all living all the way I have basically family members in every country. Every country. Well, except for one. Which one? North Korea.

Hence my, hence my curiosity. What is going on there? What are they eating there? I know the recipes for all the other nations. I don't know that one. All the other nations. Okay. Well, are any of the family members here at all with you?

Or is everyone gone? And why is that? Why are they all over the country? I mean, sorry, why are they all over the globe? They're all over the globe. I just have a very global family. I mean, it's always been that way. I'm sorry, that can't be the explanation.

Thank you, Byrd. Why are they all over the globe? I just have a very global family. That can't be the explanation. I feel like you're trying to hide something from us. Thank you for saying it. I was trying to, I didn't want to say it, but now I'm glad it's been said. Okay.

Well, the honest truth is we've had to flee. Okay. Okay, so I am the only remaining American family member. Everyone else is abroad. Okay. And I miss them. And that's why I need to communicate with them. How come they all?

And you want to ask me why I don't FaceTime them? Because I can only FaceTime one or two cousins at a time. I want to be able to have all of us on a call at the same time. Oh, you want to be able to speak directly to everybody's brain simultaneously. Oh, like a pluribus situation. I miss my family. Okay. What did they do to have to flee?

They stole stuff from the government. What did they steal? Every country? No, from the U.S. government. No. Let's just move on. Oh, I don't think so. What in the world would we move on to when this is out of the open?

I mean, we do, the animal thing is still hanging over us. It is, but now I don't even care about it. I mean, we agree that that woman, listen, are you here, you, please explain this to me. You go and you look at the post and you say, you see someone say the scrolls are running across the street. I must have something to do with it. Why did you think that? Why? Because I notice the same thing that when I'm in my home and I'm trying to do my exercises,

is that the birds start seeing a little bit differently and the rodents start chirping a little bit differently and the bug starts crawling a little bit all over the place and I think... Are you outside when you're doing this? How are you seeing all of this? I do it in my lawn. I like to take in the sunshine.

Have you ever heard of people taking in the sunshine through their anus? Yes, I have heard of this. You have birds? Yes, unfortunately I have heard of this. Probably because you get people coming in who did it wrong. It's a, yes. A lot of people.

It's a little bit tied into that. You get a lot of power. from the sun. Do I want to know why? Why is this a good idea? It's some sort of wellness thing. It's RFK Jr. adjacent, I believe.

Well, I do it with my peehole. That's not possible. Does he cut a hold in his jeans when he does it? I don't know that he does it. I wouldn't put it past him. I don't know that he takes his jeans off. I don't think he can take those jeans off, yeah. So he has to have a flap.

So if you ever see him with a suit, he's got the jeans on under the suit. Yes, absolutely. It's like the arrested development guy. Yes, he's a never nude. Except full pants. But I do try to take the sun in through my shirt. my Peehole. How?

What? I have never heard of that. And again, I'm not... You never heard of the Peehole? How do you get out? Never heard of it being sun. Oh, I see. And this is not a judgey reaction.

This is like, it sounds dangerous. I'm worried about that. Well, I do use SPF. Okay. And how does this, how do you find that it helps you? Well, ever since I started... What are the differences you notice? Okay.

No, before the sun part? Either one. Like when you said the birds are singing differently. Wait, hang on. I got to have an answer to this question. I just asked him what happens to him when he puts the front and the back in the sun. And I need to know. Okay, sorry.

I feel the energy come over me. Okay. I start vibrating uncontrollably. Like your whole body. Yeah. Vibrating uncontrollable. And I start my eyes, I just see it all goes white. Oh.

This sounds like hypothermia. It doesn't sound. You're shivering and passing out. It doesn't sound good. It keeps going and it gets worse as it keeps going. Is this connected to you trying to have telekinesis? Oh, it's all one. It's all the same.

Oh, I assumed it was connected. It's all the same. I don't know if it was just something you did on the side. Should I have not come on the show? No, no, no, no, no. We're happy to have you here. It's all very interesting. The thing is, if you say something like that,

we're obviously going to have follow-up questions about it, even if you came on just to talk about the animals. But you had so many secrets, we had to get that truth out. To get anywhere. And that's fair. And I don't mean to become bad. Because I can understand how you might be very curious about my family and my lore and the FBI thing and Google.

There's a lot to my story. Family stole things from the government. Apparently. We don't know what those are. We just move on from that. Again. Within all of us, we have power. We have immense ability.

The universe is all connected. The sun is the source of that energy. And if you just tap into it by letting it into your urethra. Babe, by the way, I just know. my husband is sitting here listening to this just like having an immediate he's standing up he's ready to answer the call it's an attitude of abundance okay oh god you mean you're gonna franclan we were in the clear that did she called on me that that was the only thing in my head what she what she called on me she called on me okay what did you think wait you got a you got a message in your mind no it happened just said i know my husband is thinking this and i figure that's what she was. Oh, I see. I got confused. Not my fault.

Babe, that room was making you really weird. Yeah. Okay, what was the bird question you wanted to ask? You probably don't remember it. I do remember. When you said that the birds sing differently and that the rodents chirp differently. Chirp, yes. What do you mean? Yeah. Okay. If I'm just at home doing my own thing, not channeling any sort of power. Maybe I'm eating toast. Maybe I'm drinking coffee. Maybe I'm watching TV. Sure. Maybe I'm sitting on the rug. Maybe I'm texting. Okay. All those were normal. I was actually no powers. No powers. I might take a little listen. Pleasant noise is outside of nature.

Then when the clock strikes, you know, whatever time it is that I want to do my powers, I try to do it for three o'clock. You have a window for your powers. I go outside. Like a workout. Sure. You don't want the sun to be too strong. No. Right. Okay. So I take out my member. You know, trying to be. When the clock strikes three, I aim it towards the sun. I start to do my exercises. I start to meditate.

Do you go out at 259? Or do you, when the clock strikes three, you run out there and unzip your pants. No, I can be out there at 259. Okay. I want to get into position. Sure. And then, but I notice as soon as I start manifesting, the birds start singing a little more energetically. Okay.

But, Steve, you also describe that you, are you? Your eyes were getting closer to a specific. But while this is happening, his body's vibrating. His body vibrating. So don't you think it could be just the way that your body's hearing the birds because of everything that's happening to you? Well, I'm looking up at the sun. Like maybe you're hallucinating a bit.

That's not safe. All I can see is white. No, you can't be looking at the sun. And they start jerp, they start singing more energetically. Yeah. I notice this. Because your body is in distress. That's what's going on.

Yeah. Your body's in distress. Well, I'm still a beginner. Also, I mean, do you know individual bird's song? Because I don't know if I'd be able to say, that bird is singing more energetically. I would never be able to identify that. No, not me. Well, I've been doing this for nine months now.

Okay. So I begin to notice this pattern. So when you say when you start to manifest, how long does it take before this starts to happen? Oh, it's immediate. Immediate. Immediate. So the penis comes out, pointed out the sun, and then birds start saying, let's pick up the pace, fellas. There is a helicopter.

or lowering right by our house. I know. This is what I'm worried about. Is it bringing more stuff for your room? Yes, it's air dropping. Oh, my God. Oh, okay, thank God. I thought it was the FBI.

It's the old kind of air dropping where they actually used to drop things from the air, you know. Yeah. I see, looking out the window, see a lot of leaflets coming down. Any idea what those say? Well, it's going to be,

I'm going to be advertising the abundance, you know, plenty for everyone. That's what it's called. Is this another one where you want people to come into our house? I think that's really wonderful. So you're dropping leaflets and say there's plenty for everyone. Please come to this one room in my house.

I don't want people coming to the house again. We've done too many rooms where people come to the house, babe. Yeah, but I usually cordon off the rest of the house. Chicken cordon blue. That's good. That's a good one. Blue. My husband loves that kind of thing.

Lovs it. You guys are going to be fast for my cousins in France make the best. Oh, I'm sure. So, I don't know that... You have the recipe, I assume. I'm going to be honest. You have the recipe, I assume. I do.

Yeah. I wonder what North Korean chicken cordon blue taste like. I don't know if they have that. Chicken cordon-un? Okay. I don't know if they have that. So I'm sorry to say this, but I don't think that just the two reactions of a bird singing differently. Well, also the bugs are crawling.

I know. That's... I have noticed some differences happening. You haven't noticed. Next time you notice animals, do it. Look at your clock. Look at your chest clock. Look at your watch.

It's probably around 3 o'clock. Oh, chest clock. Sorry. Have you been able to make a glass float in the air? A glass? No. Okay. A toothpick, yes.

You made a toothpick float in the air. It's got to be very light. Can you describe the scenario? What happened? Where were you? About 310. You know, I was. doing my exercise out in the lawn.

The sun is, it was actually a little foggy that day, which is like cloudy. Okay. So the sun wasn't even that strong. Okay. My body starts uncontrollably shaking. My eyeballs turn white. I can't see anything.

I hear the birds start seeing. They turn white and he sees. And then I do know your eye on the trouble. I don't know that. Almost, I can almost hear something lift from nearby, but I can't see anything. Oh, no.

But I can almost hear it lift. Hector. No, that's not. I can almost hear it lift. I can almost hear it lift is rough. When I came out of my state, when I came out of my state, there was a toothpick on my table

because I had been eating olives. Okay. So that must have been what I heard. But it was on the table, you said. After I came out of my state. Right. There's no. Where was it before?

It was on the table. But I heard something. He says he heard something lift. That is not verifiable proof. What does that sound like. I don't even know what that means. And you were eating these olives with toothpicks, were you taking them out of a martini?

No, it was from a charcutory board from the night before. Oh, yeah. Some people do that. From the night before. You just had some leftover charcuttaudity. From a lawn party. You invite people over? Yeah, I have friends.

Well, okay, tell me about your friends. What do they do? Do they know about your rituals? Oh, I tell everyone they're very fascinated. Yeah, they believe me. They support me. They support you. They do.

Okay. Are any of them endeavoring to manifest these powers? I sent them a few links over email to try to do it themselves. True. I don't know that they've had much success. Now I've been doing it for much longer. How long have you been doing? Again, nine months.

About nine months. Okay. Yeah. So sorry. And I was going to, I brought materials for you guys to review if you want to start incorporating it into your daily routine as well. That's fine. So the.

You can also join me. No, what does that mean? We can all just stand there on my long. on. Oh, I'm not sure I wanted to stand with you, with your penis in the sun, and not. I pictured you for, like, crisscross applesau. Isn't that funny? I pictured him standing because you have to get the right angle, I imagine. If I was quick cross applesauce, my, my peen probably couldn't angle right. I have to be standing. I pictured him, hands on hips, pelvic forward, and just just the right angle.

Well, but you have to, there has to be a manipulation involved. Yeah. Yes. No? Chops six. No, what do you mean? Babe, what are you talking about? Chopsticks. Manipulation of what? To get your urethra pointed out of the sun. Oh, you're talking about the other side. Oh, yes, yes, yes.

I hold it. Yeah. I'm not erect when I'm doing this. Okay. This is getting... This is getting really specific. I suggest chopstick. I mean, I'm just blue sky.

For which body part, babe? The member. Okay. I could just use my hands. There's no reason why I shouldn't be able to just use my hands. I don't think that's against the rules of this. That was what you do. Okay.

Chopstick sounds way unnecessary, babe. It really does. It's elegant. There is a beauty to that. Yeah. So let me ask about the squirrels. Please. The squirrel's darting into traffic.

Now, it seems like they do this a lot. Animals are very sensitive to energy. Sure. They are. You know, animals can sense some animals can sense in an earthquake seconds before it happens and whatnot. But this doesn't seem like the same thing. No, I guess I need to know what level of,

of frequency is normal for squirrels to do this? To you. To you. What is it now? Yeah. What level of frequency in terms of time or in terms of like radiation on the, on the spectrum of ultraviolet, you know, energy? Well, Byrne, I think you just meant the speed of the squirrels, right?

I meant the, the frequency. Thank you. Oh, I guess you, okay, mine, I'll stay out of it. But again, frequency is sort of a term wave, sound waves, energy waves. Right. Is that what you mean? Time wise. Timeways.

Yeah. I was not in any way thinking about the ultraviolence spectrum. Because I wouldn't be able to even answer you. I don't know that. Yeah. So let's say in an hour, what is normal, what is a normal number of squirrels to be dashing into the street? Yes, for you. Oh, when I'm activating my power.

No, just when you're observing. We need the baseline first. Thank you. That's exactly right. I would say maybe twice in an hour. Twice in an hour. Is that true to your observations as well? I guess I never thought about.

I would put it a little higher. I put it at about four or five in an hour. Four or five in an hour? On our street, for sure. You know what? I can see that. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah.

Okay. So now what? When I'm activating my power is about five or six. That is, I mean, this is what I'm saying. It's not. It's really not that much of an increase. No, there just isn't. Because I laid out very early on.

I know, Hector, but do you understand how it's confusing for me? Because I just said I normally observe and have ever since the beginning of my time on this earth about four or five times. You are talking the difference of one squirrel friend. And now we do have to. No. No, thanks. Don't get excited. Squirrel, please.

So you are saying that you, that Stephanie noticed this. I don't know what Stephanie is, but I saw it on the app. And you said, that must be me causing that to happen. I believe so. Your own personal noticing is when your eyes are shut. They've turned white. My eyes aren't shut. I just don't see.

I'm momentarily blind. That's even more terrifying. Right. So he's just white-eyed and shaking. And naked. I love that show on Netflix. I'm not naked. I'm just unzipped.

Just unzipped. Okay. And how do you know that your eyes... It's also a good show on Netflix. Not naked, just unzipped. Hollander. Unzip. You fucking idiot, unzip.

And how do you know that your eyes are white? Has someone seen this and told you? I'm describing, oh, you know what, would be smart if I recorded myself and I've never done that. Sure. And I should do that and I'll send in the recording. I know that you need to say it to us. But I'm just describing what I'm seeing. My vantage point is just pure whiteness.

It just goes white because you're staring at the sun. And that's part of how I channel my power. Right. I think what you're, I think you're mistaking an almost bodily injury to yourself as power. If you don't believe me, explain this. Okay. Explain why. In the hours after I actually.

activate my energies. My face is pink. Um, do you want to tell? I undergo a change. I undergo a change. Okay. Your skin undergoes a physical change. Right. You get, why don't you tell them? You know, that is most likely a tiny little sunburn from the skin all on your face. Because that's what happens when you go out in the sun. And I'm imagining you're not putting on a good SPF. It sounds like you said you only put your SPF on your member. Oh yeah. It sounds like you didn't get the rest of your body. The pink aura that I have in concert with all the other things,

doesn't that seem to you like it paints a picture of that I have powers? It paints a picture of someone who should be worried about their skin and saving it from, you know, harmful rays from the sun that we all know now we need to protect ourselves from. Oh, it's our enemy. And the sun? Absolutely. Yes, absolutely. It's trying to kill us.

Yes, it hates us. And you're letting it. You know, you're walking. It's the source of our powers and our truth. I mean, we need it. We do need it. So there's that. It's a tricky.

It's a real hard. It's an abuse relationship that we're in with the sun. Absolutely. It's kind of a character in our story. Well, I came on to apologize, really, because it's, I feel responsible. I feel guilty that this chaos is because of me. I don't know. I wouldn't call it chaos.

I wouldn't say that you're responsible. It's disturbing the town's people. Well, Stephanie. Stephanie just observed it. Stephanie really was asking, has anyone else seen that? Yes. And she's saying, cutting people off to the past, saying, don't say it happens all the time. Yes.

And so the evidence that you have of your powers manifesting is you thought you heard something lift up. When you looked, you saw a toothpick. A toothpick was the same place where it was before. The unmistakable sound of a toothpick lifting up on the table. It's the only thing that it would have been. Right. There was nothing else around. Well, you were outside, right?

So it could have been a leaf. It could have been a twig. It could have been a bug. It could have been a bird that flew by. It could have been a squirrel. I hate to play devil's advocate. You're just a non-blower. I truly cannot imagine.

I can't summon the sound of something lifting up. Do you know what I mean? It's really hard. I think I can do it. Okay. Okay. Yeah, give it to us. No, no, no, no.

The levitation didn't make a sound. But it lifted up. I mean, listen, I'm going to lift up this glass and you will tell me if it makes a sound to you. No. Nothing. Did you do it? He did it. Did you do it? I was looking away.

And I just did. And as I place it back down? Okay. Well, you put it. I heard that. Because it's making contact with something. Well, that's what I heard. I heard a.

My sound is pretty cool. There wasn't like a scraping of any kind? I don't think it's fair to call me a non-believer when this is the evidence that you have. it's just not enough yet. It's really not. I do think any video, taking a video of yourself when you're doing this is perhaps a good idea.

Although I don't think you should send it around a lot. I think it'll be very, very, you know, startling to a lot of people. There's a lot going on in what you describe of this ritual. That might be concerning. It would be considered porn, I think. People would assume this must be some kind of porn thing. I can do it live, I suppose. No, I would live stream that.

I don't know if I would do that. It's almost three o'clock now, actually. Oh, boy. All right. I mean, are you saying you want to give a, demonstration. I could now on air. I mean, it would probably be boring to listeners. Well, this is a podcast. So it wouldn't be live anyway. So it would be life for us. It'd be life for us, though. It would be life for us. It could be helpful and understanding. I guess, I don't know.

I'm not sure I should allow it to happen, but I guess it's not to me. I mean, we're all grownups here. I suppose so. Let's let, nudity isn't sexual. I mean, in this case, it's not always sexual. No, of course. As long as long as you want sex, I know a place you can go. Erotic books and toys. Okay. And here. And there you go. We're not going to do. We let's not do. We let's not do any Buzz marketing for... I was told I could promote my store. Babe, you need to start

picking. We sat down. Every guest gets plugged. No, we did a form letter. We don't. And we didn't promise plugging. You have to send a form letter. I sent you.

I put in a couple little carrots in there and added my own. Because I didn't think it was quite clear enough. Well, I apologize for plugging. We are having a Veterans Day sale all weekend long. That's. I think that's beautiful. Early. It's beautiful.

Yeah. Support our troops. Okay. If you're active military. Do they get to enter the store first? 30% off. I mean, if you're feeling the impulse, I suppose, he could demonstrate it for us. You're just going to go outside and do it?

Yeah. Why don't we open the windows so we can hear them? Okay. There won't be much to hear. Okay. All right. But we'll be able to watch it. Should we give you a toothpick?

I'm ready for something heavier. Okay. What should we give him, burnt? Four toothpicks? Four toothpicks sounds perfect. I've got tons of toothpicks in here. Of course you do. I bet you do.

All right, you want to run them down to him? Maybe a couple. You want to toss them out the window? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I'll toss him out the window. Yeah. Okay. Well, that's not going to make a sound either.

I can tell you that. We're not even going to hear them. Are you not tossing the whole package? You're just going to toss four toothpicks? Four toothpicks, yeah. Sorry, I didn't know I can't see. Did you toss them out? No, are you ready?

Oh, where should I? Go ahead and go out. Go out the door and close it. Can you look up? Can you see him? You see me? Yeah, I see your hand waving. Just bring your microphone with you.

Okay. Okay. I'm still waving. I see you. Okay. Are you going to be able to do this with one hand for your microphone and one hand for the other stuff? Is this going to be okay? It's just a toothpick.

I'm going to try my best. I'm not talking about it's the toothpick. Now, Toss him. Here's a list of things you probably don't want to do right now. No, no. somebody throwing a tooth thing. What's the last thing I should do?

There you go. Good, good question. Last thing you do, the last thing you should do is pulling your member up now before I throw the tooth thing. That's for sure. The clock is ticking dug, though. It is. We do have to get to this. First thing you don't want to do, don't open your mouth.

You don't want the tooth pick going in there. I think that's intuitive, babe. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. Did you get them? I couldn't hear anything. Did you guys see that? Oh no. What? What? What?

Did you see how they didn't fall straight down? They sort of went to the side. Well, it's a little windy. Yeah, they're toothpicks. I'm just not sure. I think my powers are already activating because they didn't fall straight down. They kind of floated out. You saw it.

Doug saw it. It didn't go in a straight line. I'm just, I'm just reporting what I see. I understand. That's not really proof of anything. But then, there's a breeze. We're coming up on a countdown. Okay.

Here we go. 10, 9. Wait, let me see. 8, 7. Oh boy. 6. 5. 4.

3. 2. One. Oh, we have liftoff. 3 p.m. Oh, my, look at him. No, he's not aware of what he says. He's speaking in tongues.

That wasn't even part of it. His eyes are white. He is trembling to beat the band. Yep. There's nothing happening to the toothpicks, by the way. He's making it sound like a weird cat when they're eating. You know what a cat? That's real specific.

They make a noise to their whole meal. Yes. Oh. Seems like supposed to building. Okay. Wait, no, that's just a car alarm. I hate that one. That's my least favorite.

Now here it comes to. En-in-h-h-h-h. Hector? Okay, he's kind of come out of the trance. Can you hear us? Are you back? I was totally blinded just now. Yeah, we could see that.

Were the toothpicks floating? No. No, they were just on the ground. I'm going to tell you, Hector, absolutely nothing happened. Except. A lot happened to you. Yes. You were speaking in a very straight.

First, you were speaking in tongues, it seemed like. Then you sounded like a cat eating, and then you were a car alarm. Yeah. Well, I've never... Do you have any memory of that? Did you see anything in a vision? My mind is wiped. Okay.

My mind is wiped. I never have a memory of what happens. Never. So you lose time? I lose time. I could have been gone for an hour. I could have been gone for two days. I could have been gone for a minute.

We just told you. We were going to be your eyes. and we were and we watched the toothpicks and they did not move, okay? Can I tell you what we saw? Yeah, tell him what we saw. We saw a man holding his penis. Shaking uncontrollably.

His eyes rolled back in his head, making the weirdest noises and nothing else happening. Except for, yes, you have a tiny sunburn now. I thought you were going to say tiny something else and I was going to be very offended. Oh, we're trying to get away from that. We're not, this is not about...

For the listener, Hector has a huge being. And congratulations. It's quite average. All right, we're not going to get... We're not going to litigate the member. If you want a bigger one, I know where you can find one. Erotic puts and toys. Yes, of course.

Okay, okay, okay. Hector, I do wish that you would make me take up a different hobby because I don't think that this is healthy for you. Agree to disagree. Okay. I'm going to continue refining my power. I'm okay with you not believing. Joan.

What? Get the mic out of those chips. I can't believe you did it again. May I issue an apology to Stephanie nonetheless? Because I do think I've wronged her. She's frightened. Okay. And I just want her to know that I'm working on controlling my powers better.

Okay. Okay. I think that's great. But I just also, I want you to spend some more time inside. I want you to go see a dermatologist, absolutely. I wanted to take a little your skin. Wait. Okay, I was worried for a second.

My insurance doesn't cover that, but it does. If it covers therapy, it should care of coverage. I think I also go to an ophthalmologist. Absolutely. Have those eyes checked out. Definitely. That's a great idea. What other professional should I see?

A urologist probably. All of it. Okay. Probably. Can you go to therapy twice a day every day? I suppose I could look into it. Does your therapist know about this activity? I've never told her.

I would get a therapist for your penis. as well because I think that that might be necessary. Physical therapist? I think what you're putting it through. I've never, that's so funny. I do this every day. I've never told my therapist about it. You should probably mention it.

That's, what do you guys talk about? Oh, dating and. Do you date much? It's hard. It's hard to meet somebody in your 30s. There might be some other reasons you having hard time to meet someone. Well, I don't know.

I'm just, I'm on the apps. I'm on the apps. People swiping away. It's just tough. When's the last time you were in a relationship? nine months ago Wow, okay See?

Doesn't the timing means something to you Did the relationship end when you started this practice? I never put that together. Well, you should. You should. Because I do think

that this is isolating you and I think it's harming you. And you know the ultimate irony is I'm using these powers to try to connect. I would also stop calling them powers because I don't think that's what you have. Again, we're a great

to disagree. I thought we agreed on that. Fair enough. You did. I know what I know. I know what I see. I know what I experience when I'm under those spells. Well, the answer is I see nothing. Oh, okay. Well, that should be your answer. But if somebody else says they saw something, you say that must be because of me. It must be me. I see. Well, this is where we usually wish you the best of luck. And I do. I just wish you would stop doing this because I'm just very worried about you. Yeah. I don't think it's healthy. I do wish you the best of luck. Thank you so much. Well, you're welcome. And we mean it.

And you know what? Here are some vouchers for the bookstore. Okay. 20% off on top of the Veterans Day Sale. I'll take a couple of those. I don't think any of us are veterans. Okay. So it's just 20% for us.

I don't like to assume. It's 20% off. For veterans, it's 50%. Yes. They get the 30 and then the 20 on top? Yeah. Wow. They deserve it.

So yeah. Excluding things that are on markdown. Okay. Okay. So that's all of the bees and the plants. None of the bees and plants are marked down. The bees and plants are marked down. Yeah, they're on the clearance.

Okay. Clearance rack. Don't try to get the 50% off of something already. Do you buy each bee individually? We breed them in store. No, but for a customer. Oh, it's by the hive. Oh, wow.

You don't sell Lucy's? No. No, it's by the hive. All right, that's good to know. Buy the hive. That's a lot to take on. It really is. All right.

Do you smell that smoke bag? The big suit? You know, a smoke bag that makes the bees go to sleep. You know, that's what keeps the bees calm, yeah. I don't need that to control the bees. I already have a different way to control. I meant at the store. We have to go.

All right, Hector, I'm sorry. I don't think we, I mean, do you feel like you got your message out there? I'm at peace with how this went. I know that you two were not swayed. You weren't convinced. I'm going to continue practice. In fact, I'm going to double down on my efforts. Oh.

Okay. I can't stop you from doing that. Triple down. Triple down. What does that look like? Triple dog down? No. Probably just be out there for longer.

Maybe when the sun is stronger, I'll start going out at noon instead of 3 o'clock. And we'll see if that makes a difference. Maybe it will. I'm worried about you and I wish you well. I wish you both so well. I'm not worried about you, but I wish you well. I appreciate that. Thank you so much.

words? Keep your peanut. I will. Great. Keep your feet. Anything else? I will. Seeing as you're still outside.

Is there anything else you'd like Doug to throw out the window? Oh, my keys are still in there. You want a few grapes, few olives to go? Yeah. And some road so. One of the hard cobs. You want some hard cobs?

You want some hard cobs? One of the rock hard cobs. So that's not pretty set. Keys and a hard cobb coming up. Pretty sad. No problem. All right. Well, we'll be back with more Neighborhood Listen when the Neighborhood Listen comes back.

Bye. Hi there. It's Josie. I've got an artificial potted tree for $30, tall artificial tree and decorative pot. I know. I know what you're going to say. It's what everyone else says. Josie, that's a Christmas tree.

It's fake Christmas tree. And so who would want to fake Christmas tree any other time than that. then Christmas and you know and then what the hell are you going to do with it and I disagree this is such a versatile tree you can

put Easter bunnies on it at Easter time and you can put American flags on it for 4th of July it's in any time tree I promise you

I'm only getting rid of it because I want someone else to have the joy that I've had from it. And I would get joy from $30. Oh, sorry. Welcome back. That was just really just upsetting. No, he's out of his mind. Can you believe we watched that? It was not pleasant.

I think that's the weirdest thing that's ever happened on our podcast. I have to say. It was really unpleasant to watch. I can't unsee it. It looked like he was in a lot of discomfort. He was possessed. Yeah. It was bad.

It was a very penile episode. It sure was. Pretty penile. You started it off, babe. I really didn't mean to. Rock hard corn, hollander. Would you like some rock hard corn? What would you go?

Talking about my corn, hollander. You look stupid and are stupid. To be very clear, I think. I think all the actors in the show were great. I thought they were wonderful. Absolutely. But it's just, there was just a lot, they said so much of the same thing so often.

Yes. And it made me crazy. Yes. Did you think my toothpick lifting sound was cool? It was okay. That's my superpower if I had one. To be honest, I didn't notice it. To come up with noises sound effects?

I can make like two sounds at the same time. Oh, sure. Oh, the one you did. Oh, a two tone. I guess you can do it too. Oh, oh, no. Well, that's cool, actually. You're still special, babe.

Thanks. Can you do it, Joan? Can you whistle like that? No. How do you know? Have you ever tried? Trying to do two tones? Yeah.

Did I do it? What? Oh, I made escrow bark. Escro actually heard that. Wow. That's crazy. I wonder what it means to have. frequency.

I would say the way that you were holding your lips, I don't think that that was, like when I do, look at me when I do it. Okay? Yes. Yeah. Yes.

Yeah. You think I'm, here's what you did it. All right. You know what. That is, I'm feeling very attacked. No.

No. Not everyone. We're not needling you. We're needling me. We're not. I was the only one. to try it and I had no precedent for it and I went ahead and I jumped off the cliff

and I took a leap of faith. I thought I was the only one who could do that until burnt. Truly, you've never heard anyone else do that? No. In fact, that's how one of the skills I used to get into the whistle choir. You should try out.

Oh, maybe I should. Make sure that the world's not coming to an end first because the incident and then I would do it. Again, with the incident. Okay. We have time for one more post. Yes, we do. the post is

the post is what's the post the post is from Aaron A A.A. and Ron Aaron And it says What? Don't you know that?

There's a whole thing, a whole generational thing for people named Aaron spelled that way that really affected them that the people always would always would say that back to them when they say their name. So now is it? Oh, so it's just synonymous now with Yes, people do it all the time to them of a certain age.

What are you going to do? Nothing, I guess. It says, hi, everyone. I need help catching rat on the attic. I spent $1,000 with Terminix to help me do rodent control and exclusion. De road. To help me do rodent. Do rodent.

Do rodent. Control and exclusion. What does that mean? To help me do rodent control and exclusion. Holland. Help me do rodent. control and exclusion. Rat on roof.

Go fuck yourself. Rat on eddick. In Russia, Roland exclude you. Oh boy. Doug's getting into the Russian accent. What if Jako Smirnoff, that was his delivery? In Russia.

Rodent exclude you. Haven't thought about that name in a long time. Everything was a threat instead of a funny observation. They set traps up there. That makes it sound like he's talking about the rats. but it's already a week. I can hear the rat grinding wood sounds every night. Grinding wood sounds.

Grinding wood sounds. Oh my gosh. What else can be done to catch it? From what I hear seems only one rat. The activity area seems only at one of the corner of the attic. Nope, one of the corner of the attic. I should have read the whole thing like this. Uh, note, all this comes with HOA replacing roof.

I guess that's just an extra gripe. Take a little shot at the HOA on your way out. Why not? Besides the very strange way that Aaron wrote this. Almost reads like a telegram. Yes. It really, it makes me think that he's alone in this house and becoming, maybe going a little crazy,

like a little stir crazy. Because the way he's written it, it makes me worried that I'm going to see it. We're going to see it scrawled on the wall, you know. Do you think it's like a telltale heart situation? It could be. Yeah. Yes, it could be.

And because the fact that he's just zeroing in on this one rat, I don't know what rat wood sounds are. Grinding wood. Grinding wood sounds are. Sorry, that's what I meant to say. You never heard ground wood? Not really. I wouldn't say.

I know this sounds as someone scraping on wood. Sure. Groundwood? Grinding wood. That could be a rhubarb caravan album, babe. Oh, grinding wood. Yeah. Pretty good.

Yeah, I like it. I can see that cover very clearly. Yeah, me too. Very rainy. It's like, yeah. It's like you and the rest of the guys, you're in sepia. Like you're in a golden frame. Yep.

It's a brown album cover. Uh-huh. Okay. Gold frame. Yeah. You guys sepia in there. Uh-huh. Maybe you're wearing Civil War uniforms.

Nice. Definitely. It was all sepia back then. It's sepia so you don't know which side. Baby, you know, it didn't look. I think sometimes he thinks it looked like that back then. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. I've known people like kids. that, kids I grew up with that thought, I think I met two people who thought that

when movies were in black and white it's because the world was in black and white. You met two people? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, yeah. I'm wondering if I thought of that as a kid, though. I'm wondering.

I'm trying to remember if I thought of that as a kid. And I'm not sure that I could pull that memory up. I don't know that I could. I don't know if I could. Anyways, Aaron, I don't know about to tell you because if they set traps, then you either have a very smart rat who just knows how to avoid the traps.

Yeah. Or, I mean, if you really want to get rid of it. Maybe they trapped him in that corner. Oh, no. Maybe the rat is seeing the traps like, I'm stuck here. Oh, I see. I got a grind wood. You just put a bunch of traps around him in the corner now he's just stuck.

Yeah, yeah. That's terrible. We're going to starve him to death. I don't like that idea. I don't like that idea. What would you do if you had a rat in the house? Would you be immediately getting rid of it or do you want to try to save it and not have a die? First, I try to reason with him.

Okay. That's good. That's number one. How can we compromise you want to do? The last thing I want to do is to get in some sort of, you know, face off with this rat. Oh, yeah, you don't want to do a face off with a rat. No. Not like the movie.

I don't think we're going to exchange faces. I didn't mean that. I didn't mean that. Do you know what's funny in face off is that the guy whose idea was to do the bad guy who wants to do the face off? That's right. It's like, but you know what? Don't just throw the other face away. Put it on him.

Don't want to waste a face. I'm going to take his face for a specific purpose. Yeah. He is my mortal enemy. I don't think I've ever actually seen that movie. and I've always been to... Are you serious, babe? Face off?

Yes. I saw when it came out and I remember very little and perhaps... Oh, can you do the three things? You're annoyed about having you do it for face off? I'm trying to remember if I remember three... I remember...

Yeah, ain't it cool? Which is what John Travolta, as Nicholas Cage says. As Nicholas Cage. Actually, don't remember that. I remember... Obviously, face off. Yes, who could forget. Nicholas Cage, John Travolta.

Uh-huh. Is Carla Gugino in that one? I don't believe so. Some woman. Are you telling me you don't remember this dumb waterfall thing that they would do on each other's face? Yes. That to me is folded under face off. Oh, but it's like a stupid thing that the family thing to each other is so dumb.

It's very dumb. And lots of doves. And it's a John Wu, so of course, lots of doves. Lots of doves. And the weird thing where he's like... Should you go to watch along to this? I mean, if Doug hasn't seen it, that might be... That might be an incredible watch-along.

I think we should do a watch-along of face-off. Okay. Face-slash off. That's right. Backslash. Slash. No, not a backslash, I don't think. I think it might be a backslash.

Is it? Okay. I think it's face-backslash off. Face-backslash off. Let me see. I want to make sure. Is the forward slash use for anything? Now I'm wondering.

Isn't it in some web addresses? Like before people realize you could just say the name of the place.com. But can't you just say slash or do you have to say front-slash? It's like, I know. There's a podcast I listen to where their, their, um, Patreon, uh, is, uh, the name of their podcast. It's the patron forward slash. Okay. And then the name of their podcast.

Interesting. Yeah. Um. Is this where we find out, we think that the forward slash and the, and the backslash are the wrong. Are the wrong? I don't know, which I imagine. Yeah. We might have it wrong.

What does it say? Face off. Oh, he's looking up face off. Looking a face off. It's face forward. slash off. I thought so. Wow. It is used. It is used at least once. I've seen the movie too many times. Too many times. How many times have you seen a Joan? Why? That's my second question.

Well, you know that my mother loved Sean Connery. And so we ended up seeing The Rock a lot, right? Yes. That made us big Nicholas Cage fans. We loved his crazy. And so... Come for the Connery, save for the cage. sure did. And so of course we came for the Travolta and the cage. Absolutely. Because my mom loved John Travolta as well from the, yes. And

Did she know a big Frankie Faison fan since he did that commercial with them where they sing the grease sauce? Well, now I have to see got all of his Follography. Face on. Apply directly in the forehead. Doug, you've done it. All right, maybe we should do a face-off watch-along.

We absolutely should, yes. I can stand to see that again. Oh, yeah, me too. Because people love it. They do. And it's one of those movies where I think that people love it because they saw it a bunch on VHS. Yes, I think so. Yeah.

And I also think that it was one of those, I think even they leaned into the spirit of like, we know the science is ridiculous and we don't care. They're having fun. We're not even going to bother. They're having fun. You know? And I think when you can tell people are aware of that, then, you know, you can buy into it a little easier. Absolutely.

They're not trying to fool you. No, they're not trying to flee you. Yes. I think Nicholas Cage thought it was all real. But, um... I remember because he had to be the worried dad. Yes.

He had to do a lot of moping. Yes, he did. He didn't have as much fun. And then Travolta got to have all the fun. Well, Travolta did not, it did not seem like, in my memory, it did not seem like he was actually having fun.

What's going to really bother you is, I don't think you remember the name of the character and his brother. I do. You do? Because it did. bother you. Yes. Well, it didn't bother me. I was just like, okay. Yeah, all right. Well, then we won't say anything. I don't want to ruin it again. This movie knows what it's doing.

It knows what it's doing. That's right. It's not mucus, is it? No, it's not mucus. Great name for a movie villain. Muccus is schmugas? Oh, not those guys again. Here they come. My name is Mucous. Wait, the ones? Was that you doing Sean Connery saying my name is Muccas? Yes. Your name will be Mewkish.

Don't crush me. but you're a day will be mucus in this time. Oh, well, sound of Jimmy Stewart. Mucous. They send one of you to the hospital. You send one of their mucuses to the morgue. You're bringing phlegm to a mucus fight.

I suddenly remember my shardine. The rocks, the birds in the sky, and the mucus. You have to do the sound again. There we go. There we go. There we go. Well, that does it for this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. If you'd like to hear ad-free versions of the show

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Thank you so much for joining us. We'll be back next week. And until then. Burnt? Goodbye. And bye. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed.

The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins. And me, Nicole Parker. And me, Brett Morris. This episode's guest was played by Paul Robolino. The Neighborhood Listen is the production of Comedy Bang Bang World. Go to CBBWorld.com to unlock the entire history of the show, ad-free, as well as brand new full-length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maximus subscribers. Your support keeps the show going.

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