The Neighborhood Listen - Nothing Against Rick Moranis! with Lamar Woods

Episode Date: June 11, 2024

On today's episode, Burnt shares his go-to comfort food, Joan has exciting career news, and Doug does Doug stuff. Later they welcome Peyton (Lamar Woods) from The NeighborhApp, who is looking for Disneyland tips.Want more TNL? Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for the Maximus plan to unlock access to all seasons ad-free, as well as brand new exclusive BONUS ROOM episodes adventuring deeper into Dignity Falls!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website. Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad-free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of The Bonus Room, go to CBBWorld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership.

And now, please enjoy this episode of... The Neighborhood Listen! Knock, knock. Who's there? Your neighbor. Good! And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen! Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor! Good! In Dignity Falls, you're never alone You've got the Neighbor Half App and us!

Bert! And Joan! From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell We'll cover it all And meet new neighbors as well We'll chat about any posts you're missing So just tune in to The Neighborhood Listen. Welcome back to The Neighborhood Listen.

Oh, hi. The Na- Hi. Hi. Did you think I was welcoming you back, Joan? No. Well, it did feel like a- it felt like a third segment. Welcome back. It did. We've been here for a while. And you know why? Maybe we should give them a peek behind the curtain. We've already done one episode today.

It's true. So maybe sometimes that's why we give off the vibe of like, we've been here all day because we have. Absolutely. That's what it feels like for sure. But we're so happy to be here. We're so happy to be here. Now, how many, just hour after hour after hour. Okay. Well, that makes it starting to sound like you're not happy about it.

No, I love doing this show. I truly do. And I love getting to know our neighbors. And that is the purpose of this podcast. We live here in Dignity Falls and we talk about, we talk with and about our neighbors and share that neighborhood with you. And we share a little bit of ourselves as well.

And what you should share next is your name. My name is Burt Mia Payday. I am a pharmacist here in Dignity Falls. I am a pharmacist in chief at the Dignity Fallsmacy, which is a beautiful new pharmacy in town. And I couldn't be happier to be a captaining that ship. Oh, wow. What a wonderful way to talk about it.

You are really happy there. I really am. And I am Joan Pedestrian. Of course, I am the top realtor here in Dignity Falls. captaining that ship. Oh, wow. What a wonderful way to talk about it. You are really happy there. I really am. And I am Joan Pedestrian. Of course, I am the top realtor here in Dignity Falls. That's right. And my husband, Doug, is our engineer and he's always in a different room recording.

Where are you today, babe? Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom. Getting a call. Oh, okay. It says spam risk. No, don't take that call. It's okay. No, don't take that call.

If it says spam risk, you definitely don't take it. You know, what's happening with Doug is he's in this place where he's like, he's like my parents where it's like, they get that text that's like immediately call this number, your social security number has been, it's at risk or whatever it says. And he freaks out. And I'm like, baby, we're too young to be doing this. And I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm

like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm call this number, your social security number has been, it's at risk or whatever it says. And he freaks out and I'm like, baby, we're too young to be getting fooled by this kind of stuff. Well, to be fair, there is a business in town

called Spam Risk. And it's an optometrist and I don't understand how they arrived at that name. That has nothing to do with eyes, we're seeing. And it is very confusing what they call. Because if you're waiting for new glasses or something, they really need to. They're a new store too, they just opened up a month ago.

We're all now conditioned to see spam risk and not answer. And they do have a policy, if you don't answer their calls, they will not leave a message. And if you don't answer their calls, they give you three calls, if you don't answer the third time, they will charge you. They charge you. The cost of the glasses doubles.

Yes, and their picture, you know, on benches and posters and stuff, it's also back says SpamRisk, and it is an old man with glasses squinting, like in a concerned way, because he's got bad glasses and he needs to go to SpamRisk for better ones. But what it just looks like is an old man being confused.

To make matters worse, they have a very tiny print above SpamRisk, need glasses question mark? Oh, very tiny print. And I think they thought they were being clever that if you don't need glasses, you can read this. But if you do, then you won't be able to read it. And all you can see is Spam Risk and an old man looking confused.

It's just terrible. It's really, really bad. Yeah, I don't like that. So I'm sorry, babe, before you got a call from Spam Risk, you were gonna tell me where you were. In the firehouse. The firehouse. He always wanted to have the fire pole. Right. So he knocked a hole in our master bedroom in the corner. Thank you very much. That's bold.

Right. And there's not a shitty. I'm very much. He has, oh, someone's getting saucy. Well, I got, I picked up a little spice in your voice. Well, yeah, you put, you drilled a you drilled a hole in my big, nice room, and also didn't put up any guardrails or anything. So in the middle of the night, if you get up, you got much, you could just fall right down. Oh, you could just fall right, absolutely.

A really large pole in the middle. Well, he says you can't, okay. Babe, why are you so trusty today? But there's still a hole. If you're half asleep, you get up tonight, you get out of the bathroom, get a drink of water, you could fall in this hole. I don't know if you're gonna have the wherewithal to grab the out of the bathroom, get a drink of water. You could fall in this hole.

I don't know if you're going to have the wherewithal to grab the pole. Here's why. This is what Doug does when he gets up in the middle of the night. He goes down the fire pole, uses the bathroom in the firehouse. It's a nice bathroom. And then how do you get back up? Yeah, Doug, how do you get back up? You don't shimmy back up the pole, Doug.

Goodness, no. Please tell me. You sure do. No, that must take... How do firemen get back up? I think they walk their stairs. The only reason the fire pole exists is it get downstairs really, really fast, but you don't need to get back up to your like bed very, very fast stairs going up to the bedroom. Can I ask this now?

Oh boy, we're going to break it down. After all this time, how much time did that save? Was there, was there ever a fire that, oh, if only we hadn't walked down the stairs. If only we had the pole. You fool. You thought walking down the stairs two at a time. Or was it, there was never a pole

and they just kind of realized walking down these stairs is a pain in the ass. So they just decided, or was it just- Maybe they had a circular staircase? And they were like, this takes so much time. You know what we need? A pole. Just a pole.

I've never thought to call out the pole for being not necessary. Yeah. Unnecessary, I should say. It seems more trouble than it's worth. I'm not sure it does. Maybe it is just because they're like, you know, it's gonna make it fucking cool.

It's a pole. Maybe it just, they wanted to add to their, there's such a mythology with firemen, right? They love their red trucks. They love their funny helmets. They love their mustaches and also they thank them for their service, they're very brave. Of course we do thank them for their service.

Now, as you all know, our Dignity Falls fire department went on a sabbatical. That was. To write a novel in the upper peninsula of Michigan. I still can't believe that happened. I still can't believe that happened. And that book was not good. You know, that's the thing. All the characters were firemen. Now all the characters were firemen. And the plot was meandering. Yeah. And it was a lot of just, it was a lot of, it was very boring

and very detailed on just very specific things. There were also recipes in the book, which was supposed to be part of the- That was such filler. They always cook each other. They make cookies for each other. Right. Well, they always make really great meals for each other. But I was like, well then just do a cookbook.

It's almost like what they ended up doing was a cookbook. And hot sauce. And there was a story, the story was just so bland. And then at one point they, they tried, it seemed like they tried to make it into an espionage thriller. Yes. And then they gave up on that.

Right. And then it was like, and now a recipe. Yeah, but it was called like, how to catch a,. Yeah, but it was called like how to catch a, how to, what was it like, how to catch a criminal souffle. It was something like that. I can't remember. How to catch a criminal souffle, no that was it. They were trying to be, no that was it.

They were trying to be clever, but I think really what it was is they just wanted to do a fireman's cookbook. And you know what, that would have sold, like gangbusters I think. Oh absolutely, yeah. So they came back and it's like, they forgot how to fight a fire.

For the longest time, people would call and no one was awake. They'd be like, hello? Like you, for whatever reason, they were, the number was going directly. They were asleep around the clock. We have something here where you can directly call the fire department.

We have the fire department's number. And someone always answers. And this time it was just like, hello, you know, and it was like, we'll be right there. Like they were really, they were surly. They were lazy. They were late. And they would show up with recipes

and honestly they would show up and they would be like, ew, that's what they said to the fire. I mean, that is not helping. If you're standing outside your home, that's burning to the ground and the fire would show up and say, ew. Ew. That is.

Do you want me to get that? Ew, that? No, thank you. That's what you called me for. So it's been a real problem. So that's the... Hence. So I'm sure that's what... Hence. Oh, okay.

He's still doing his Ren Fair talk. Okay. So hence. If we have a... Also, we have pyromaniac twin boys. We do. We do. Aren't my twin boys...

You admit it. You finally admit it. He has a hard time admitting it. I think it was just hard for him to say the words. Well, you've never come straight out and said... I think it was just hard for him to say the word pyromaniac. I think that's really what it is. I've...

I've been in a relationship with a guy who's been in a relationship with a guy who's been in a relationship with a guy who's been in a relationship with a guy who's been in a relationship with a guy who's been in a relationship with a guy who's been in a relationship with a guy who's been in a relationship with a guy who's been in a relationship with a guy who's been in a relationship with a guy who's been in a relationship with a guy who's been in a relationship with a guy who's You finally, you finally admit it. He has a hard time admitting it. We, I think it was just hard for him to say the words. Well, you've never, you've never come straight out and said. It was just hard for him to say the word pyromaniac. I think that's really what it is. I've learned to accept it, who they are. Yes. These are of course my twin boys, Matt and- Crank. Oh, crank. That's right. Yes. You got to get it right. Thank you for getting it right.

Most people don't. But so anyways, I think that's probably why Doug has always wanted an in-home firehouse. Because first of all, what are they gonna do? They're just gonna come and get grossed out by it. And so Doug can just ride down his pole and get it done for us, honestly. And on that note, do you have firefighting equipment?

Do you, babe? Did you get something? Or is it just the pole? Well, we have, there's a spigot in there. There's a bunch of buckets. Who's we? The pedestrian household. Oh, okay.

He's just saying the family has it. I didn't know if you hired a team. I think he meant, I mean, yes, equipment, if that's fair, but I bet you were also asking about a uniform, right? Cause you need a gas mask. No, I meant like fight, to fight the, like a hoax. Well, I want to know what you're going to wear, babe.

I mean, if you're in your, are you going to like suit up? Yes, let's talk about the fashion. It's a great idea. Dal, uh, dal. Dalmatian? I almost got a Dalmatian. Oh, a Dalmatian. I was thinking about getting a Dalmatian for us.

And how you name out of getting a Dalmatian? Yeah, it's probably like number three on the list of things you have to get. I would say so, to fight fires, it's, I would put it lower than three. Honestly, I thought you were going gonna fight back a little bit. Whole water, Dalmatian. Whole water Dalmatian.

You need cookie, you need like a nice baking oven. You definitely do. Absolutely. A baking oven, so just an oven. No, an EasyBake oven, I think. Oh, an EasyBake. Yeah, because you need it all the time. It's you, it's you, that's right.

Yeah, that's right. Have you heard of these crookies? Oh, nope, but I don't like the name. It's apparently a new fad, it's a croissant cookie. Like a cronut but with a cookie. It sounds offensive. What? It does sound kind of like-

It sounds awful. We don't say that anymore. Yeah, what in the world? What's wrong with people? You know what? You know what? What? Not every two words have to be smushed together. Okay. And not every two names. Not, not, I don't know how to say this, but we need to stop squishing things together.

No, you're right. It's just too much. So it's a- Let them breathe. I'm sorry. It's a, it's a, it's a, what? It's okay. Let them breathe. Let these words breathe. Oh, let the words breathe. It's a, it's a, it's a, what? It's okay. Let her breathe. It's a croissant. Oh, let the words breathe. It's a croissant and a cookie. Yes. It sounds great. And I think that easy back oven.

Does it look more like a croissant or more like a cookie? I can't even picture what that is. That's why I'm asking. It just annoys me and puts me in a bad mood. It does. It's in Paris, if that convinces you. Oh, well, I love anything French. I'll try it.

It looks a little like a croissant. I take it all back. That's smushed. That's smushed. Yeah, smushed down. It looks like... Okay, now I have to look at it. No thanks. Can you look it up, babe, and show it to me?

You know what that sounds to me? It's like a pain au chocolat. Oh, yeah. That's like a croissant that's smushed down. Yes, yes it is. Although it also... Yeah, but it is mostly a croissant. I mean, yes, you're right, it's square. It's a square croissant, like a rectangle. Yes. Well, I don't know.

Are they selling them in town somewhere? No, I just thought with the firehouse and there's a lot of downtime between fires. So I think that's why they get into cooking. Why don't they call it croosookie? No, I like that already better. I like it better. Croissant? Croissant? I mean, yeah. I mean. No, I like that already better. I look at, I like it better. Croissant.

Croissant? Croissant, I mean, yeah. I mean, honestly, I'm going to say anything is better than crookie. Anything. Yeah, I don't like crookie. I hate it. And, oh, okay, wait, hang on a second.

Doug just texted me a picture. Yeah. Yeah, it just looks like a croissant with frosting on it. No, it just looks like a croissant with frosting on it. It doesn't look anything. A turbocharged croissant. It doesn't look anything like a cookie. No, it just looks like a croissant with frosting on it. No, it just looks like a croissant with frosting on it. It doesn't look like anything. A turbocharged croissant. It doesn't look anything like a cookie.

No, it just looks like a croissant. It looks like a frosted croissant. So that's just ridiculous. Yeah, it looks like a frosted croissant. Yeah, unless like that's just cookie dough, just raw cookie dough that's smeared over the top of it. I don't mind that actually. I'd eat that.

What's your go-to comfort food, Burnt? Oh, probably. Now we know that back in the day when you were a child, whatto comfort food, Berndt? Oh, probably... Now we know that back in the day when you were a child, what your comfort food was, your mom would make you a toast burnt to a crisp. Just charcoal. Just absolutely charcoal. Just charcoal squares. It would slice the top of the roof of your mouth.

Well, when I was a kid, I could eat squares. You could eat squares. Yes, oh, that's right. Berndt doesn't eat square food now. I can't eat square food. But it would cut the roof of your mouth, you said, this test. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And was it, was it, what else? It was served with something? What, is he okay, babe? I think Doug did a spit take. Was he trying to put it out of fire? Probably. Just big mouthfuls of water. By the way, you wanted to know what his equipment is.

He just, he's ordered a bunch of pallets of liquid death in bulk. And they're all just sitting there. So I think he's just gonna crack open cans and just like toss them at the fire. I guess that's his plan right now. Shake them up, spray them. You don't have to shake them up. I think my comfort food now is a hard tack.

Oh, explain that to me again. What is that? It's a sort of a thing they would eat in the Civil War. That's your comfort food. Yeah. Where do you even get that? At the museum, they sell it at the gift shop. You're stockpiling gift shop memorabilia as food. It's kind of a-

It is food. Is this like Vegemite or something? It's kind of like a biscuit, right? Yeah, it's almost like eating leather. Why would you, why? Why is that- It's just comforting to me. Okay, I mean, I guess I can't argue.

It makes me feel cozy. Okay. Yeah. I mean, okay. I was, I thought you were just gonna say what your favorite ice cream is, but no, you say hardtack. I love to sleep in on a Sunday morning. Sorry.

Listen to some soft music and eat hardtack. Some soft music, I'm gonna call it such as on here. Oh, like the sort of jazz you hear when you're waiting on hold. I find that music very relaxing. I've, you know, at times I've had to book a flight or something, sometimes I fall asleep on the phone if I'm on hold for too long

because the music just lulls me to sleep. Sometimes it is, sometimes it's just like a weird kind of dun dun tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tch tchtch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-tch-t And what happens is- And he just asks you about your day and you know what makes the time pass. Yeah, I think it's nice. There's a lot of small talk. Yeah, it's a lot that they have small talk operators. And what's great is that the phone doesn't ring in the fall's messy. Okay. It just immediately connects you.

So your phone call will always start with somebody else's conversation. And then you have to initiate it by saying hello. And then they'll start talking to the phone. That's right. Yeah. And I do appreciate it. The whole, I don't know if you ever got this far,

but if you stayed on long enough with the whole CVS, that woman's voice would come back on and say, why are you still there? Oh, do you know what, that's right, because one time I stayed on even longer and then it was like, help me. It was crazy. It was really crazy.

I didn't care for it. So anyways, I wanted to share some news if that's okay. Of course. Well, I have a theater that wants to do my one woman Hamlet called Herlit. Wow. And it is in Canada. Really?

Yes, and it's on a farm. So I don't know. Theater on a farm. It's a theater on a farm. And it's like a farm. So I don't know. Theater on a farm. It's a theater on a farm. And it's like in an old barn, but it's this sort of couple that's trying to sort of get theater going on in their barn. Wow. And you know, I looked at, they have a website and it's called Come All Ye Theater.

Really? Hmm. Yeah. Okay. No, it's kind of fun. It's like gathering. It's like frontier times. It's like, come, come, come on, come on. I know, but it does invoke Christmas.

Really? And anytime you have come all ye. Is that the only place it can exist? You can say come all ye whenever you want to. Well, of course you can, you're allowed to. But I think that commonly we associate their phrase with come all ye faithful. Whenever ye want to come.

Ye need not be faithful. So, okay, well I was excited about it. Anyways, I'm- John, I'm not trying to rain on your brain. I was just confused by the name. I'm very happy for you. This sounds very exciting. Well, I did come up with it.

A lot of times I'll say something and you kind of sort of break it down as if I came up with it. You know, as if my brain came up with it. But some people expanded it. I don't think I've ever. Babe, I'm really sorry you feel that way sometimes. I don't think I'm ever implying that you came up with it. I'm just trying to understand.

You get very defensive as if you did come up with it. Who knows? Maybe it's the first thing they thought of when they with it. Come up with it. Come up with it. Come up with it. Come up with it. Come up with it. Come up with it. Come up with it. Come up with it. Come up with it. Come up with it.

Come up with it. Come up with it. Come up with it. Come up with it. Come up with it. Come up with it. Come up with it. Come up with it.

Come up with it. Come up with it. Come up with it. Come up with it. Come up with it. Come up with it. Come up with it. Come up with it.

Come up with it. Come up with it. Come up with it. Come up with it. Come up with it. Come up with child. There's a Shakespeare festival there. The Shakespeare. The Shakespeare. The Shakespeare. Well, you know what it is. They have a Shakespeare festival, but for kids they have the Shakespeare.

Right. Where it's way watered down. Yeah. And it's just, it's sort of, it's much more fun. It's much more accessible. Yes. But I snuck into one of the adult shows, Shakespeare. All I mean is the regular Shakespeare.

It wasn't an adult show. Oh, not an adult show in that sense, yes. And you know, it was Hamlet, and that's kind of where I got the first idea. I was like, what are all these men doing here? You know, really young, I already had that thought. There's one woman and she's crazy. That's right, and another woman,

and she wants to sleep with her son. What's going on in this play? Maybe it was too adult. But then I just had the thought. So yes, I've been to Canada one time and then another time I had this sort of like dream of, I'd never been to another country and I was really excited to go to Canada

for sort of like a gap year, you know. Right, spending in an exotic Canada. That's what I thought, but I just didn't know. I didn't know that it was, you know, I crossed the border, it just looked exactly the same. And we're not far from the border, you know, we're a couple hours. And so-

On certain days. On certain days. It just depends on the weather and then certain roads. Tectonics, yes. And the tectonic plates, that's right Doug. Yeah. The tectonic plates here in Dignity Falls, they move frequently, not in an earthquakey way.

It's actually very smooth. It is very smooth. And so you might wake up and say, hey, I don't think that's, where did that tree come from? Because you've sort of slid. Something slowly, but it's over, sometimes it can be over a period of time. Absolutely.

And we've had a couple of buildings move over a period of time. So it is very, I mean, you know, people come here to try to figure out this crazy town of ours. That's why if you listen to where we locate streets and stuff, it can change throughout all the seasons.

Oh yes, that's right. So don't come at us for that. So what we're saying is if there are any sort of discrepancies in what we say, it's just the town. It's the town. It's the town. Yes. Don't at us, as the kids say.

Built on plates. Built on plates. That's also what the kids say. Kids are plates. Built on plates. That's also what the kids say. Yeah. The kids are saying built on plates a lot. It means that's true. Built on plates. Correct.

So when will this take place? When does this happen? Oh, well, this is going to be this summer. And I'm just doing, I'm doing three matinees. That's it, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. I hope people can come. And I, but I will go up there to take a look at it. Probably, probably in the next week or so.

So we, I might have more information soon, but I'm very excited about it. Just that somebody said, yes, you know. Absolutely. They, they, they called me out of the blue and they sound very nice. It's a husband and wife and they're like, we have no children, we just want to raise theater folk.

We just want to have a family of theater people is what they said. I don't know, it might be a little creepy, I'm not sure. I'm gonna have to get there and see. That does sound, we want to raise theater folk sounds a little concerning for sure. Do they know that you're an adult? They also sell candles and oil.

So, you know, I thought, oh, that's cool. Like different like candles. And they also, they were talking about like what, you know, they were asking me what my sign was. I don't know, it was nice. It was kind of nice. They were just, they were like, if you visit you know, visit our website, you can buy candles. We also, we can do your chart.

They sound very normal. They sound great. What about the website Doug? Well, you mentioned the website a few times. They seem really proud of their website. They have, they have a great website. Is it? Yes, it says, come all ye theater.

And it's like, we, You forgot. You forgot. You forgot. How could you forget? It got you so mad. My fury has returned. Now, Bert, once she's gone, you can come over. Oh. Oh, really?

If you want. You want to ride the fire pole? I guess you don't say the word ride. You want to slide down the fire pole? I wouldn't mind sliding down the fire pole. I've never done it. I mean, I do think it awakens sort of a child with joy. Oh, no, that's not necessary.

What are you talking about? That sounds dangerous, Doug. There's no need. It's already kind of dangerous. Gravity does the slicking. As the kids say. Well, I was just going to say, what is it? Something about the plates. I was just going to say the phrase, but now I can't remember.

Built on plates. Built on but now it's on plates. Place on place. All right, Doug, how long we've been talking. And I know it's going to take you a couple minutes. It's a whole process. We don't know why it takes so long, but he does something. It just goes silent. And as you can hear, right, just silent.

I just imagined Doug when whatever room he is just peering at a computer and trying to figure out where the time is. Do you know what I always worry? I always, what is that buzzing? Is that your phone bird? That is my phone. Oh my goodness. Is that the spammer?

Is it, is it? Spam risk. Is it spam risk? And I did order glasses. Oh, I bet you any, they're gonna charge you. That's the risk you take. Oh boy. That's the spam risk. I got one more call. Okay.

It's been 22 minutes. Oh, good. You know what I think happens? I think he goes, oh shit, and forgot to record. I think that's what happens. But then how are we ever getting the recording? I don't say that word. But you're right.

Oh, Doug, how is the cursing coming along? Any better? Snip. Snip. Oh, yeah, Doug started, no, that's still not any closer. We realized on the last episode on the last episode that Doug doesn't know how to swear. 22 minutes. That's like perfect. Yeah, we'd like to have a good a good tight 22 minutes. Speaking of Canada, this hour has 22 minutes. All right, we

have to go when we return. We will have a guest right here on the neighborhood listen. a guest right here on The Neighborhood Listen. Hi everybody, it's Nicole. You know what? I love shopping with Quince. A summer is here and it's time for your wardrobe to get an upgrade, okay? Instead of a flimsy fast fashion haul, spend your money wisely on high quality essentials that will last beyond the season. Quince is my spot for quiet luxury without paying luxury prices. I like my luxury quiet. You know, I don't like it getting too mouthy.

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and 365 day returns on your next order. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash TNL for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince dot com slash TNL. Quince dotcom slash TNL quince.com slash TNL quince.com slash TNL we love you quince Hi it's Deb I saw something odd this morning I left my car at buddies at 8am today as I was waiting to cross the street, a large silver car turned in a Hoover. I didn't really notice it until I heard a loud noise.

I think it was the car stopping and some loud voice or voices. And saw that the car had stopped, the door was open and a man was getting out. What seemed odd was that the man started walking back toward Hickory and got as far as the white sign. Seemed to see me and turn back around. He walked to Kennedy and turned in there. By this time

the car had turned around and was lingering on Hoover facing Hickory at the far side of Kennedy from me. I crossed the street and at that point the car also turned up Kennedy which also seemed a bit strange. When I reached Kennedy I could see the man walking but I could not see the car. Another thing that made me decide to report it is that it was 52 degrees out but the man was wearing a tank style undershirt. He did seem to have another shirt or jacket tied around his waist. By the time I got to Kennedy the car was gone and the man was still

walking up the street. the car had very large doors I could not a license plate It could easily have been an argument in our neighborhood just happened to be the most convenient place to turn in but because it was a bit Odd I felt it was best to share the info This is Deb saying Look out out there. And welcome back to The Neighborhood.

Listen Joan, we have a guest. We sure do. As we do every week on this show, we scour the NeighborHab, the social networking application for neighborhoods. We look for interesting people in Dignity Falls to talk to and this week is no different. If you would like to send us a post perhaps we missed it on the neighbor app you can screenshot it and send it to us at burntandjohn at gmail.com and let's introduce our guest. This post comes from Peyton. Peyton writes, hey everyone I've only been to

Disneyland once and when I go back I need to know all the best rides. My favorite one I went was Splash Mountain. What is your favorite ride? And here he is. Please welcome to the show, Peyton. Hey, what's going on, y'all? How are y'all today? It's good to see you, Peyton.

Good, hi, Peyton. Welcome. Yes, thank you. It's been a long day. It's been a long day. I'm happy to come talk to you guys. Oh, why has it been such a long day? Oh, well, first, you know, I woke up and I thought I thought to myself, is there anything exciting happening outside?

Oh, but there wasn't. Okay. It's cloudy. But I got up and I went to my laptop and I sent an email that had been in a draft version for a long time. Okay. Finally sent it. So that gave me a little boost to get out of the house.

But it's so good to see y'all again. Oh, that was it? That was the long day? Yeah, yeah, that was it. Yeah, that email took a lot out of me. Oh, wow, it sounds like it. Even though it had already been written, and it was just sitting there in the draft,

did you add to it, add onto it? No, no, it was ready to go. Okay. It was fully formed. No proofreading, no nothing. Okay, all right. I was also gonna say, today was- That's Doug, our engineer.

That's Doug. You can't see him, he's in a different room, but yeah, you can hear him. What's up, Doug? How are you? I'm great, but today is the end of Spoon Festival. So when you looked outside and said, nothing's really happening.

Yeah. I'm slightly surprised by that. I guess that's true. Sproon is the extra fifth season that we have here only in Dignity Falls and it's crazy allergies caused by pollen from flowers that can kill you. Yeah. And carnivorous flowers were finally done.

So, okay. Can I ask who the email was for? I was also, you know, trying to get suggestions for more rides. Oh, okay. Oh, you're really dedicated to this. You really are. You know, I had a rough life, you know.

So basically I moved here from D.C., from Washington. The District of Columbia. Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, that's what it means. Well, the, okay. I thought it was something else. So I, you know, I used to be a detective. Oh wow.

Oh my goodness, this is fascinating. I would get obsessed with cases. And this girl went missing and I spent 13 years trying to find her. Oh my Lord. I'm sorry, were you a public or private detective? I worked for the District the district of Columbia officers. Okay.

Can I ask, what did you think DC stood for? So like Dominican, I think Dominican's in there. Maybe. A possible Dominican, Colombian. Dominican, Colombian. Okay. Well you're kind of, you were close. You were in the neighborhood of Columbia.

I'm a detective. I'm not a history teacher, all right? That's very true. Fair enough. So wait a minute. What happened with this person who went missing? I never found her, yeah. Oh, God.

I'm so sorry. Does that eat at you? It did for a long time. And that's why I decided, you know, life, my therapist said, why don't you get out of DC? Yes. Get over to LA, Los Angeles. Sure, cause that's a healing place.

And from Los Angeles you came here? Yes, right. Excuse me. Yes. Right, but what happened in LA that made you come here? Well, I got into another case. Of course, they hired me. You know, this time I was doing private. Oh wow.

And I got obsessed. And I just was like, okay, I gotta go somewhere where no one's gonna ask me to do any law enforcement or anything. So I candid dignity fall. That's what I came here for. What can I ask? What was the second case that you were so obsessed with? Thank you, John.

Oh yeah, that was a good one. A good one. Now what does that mean when you say a good one? When I say a good one, that means bad one for the victim. Okay, yikes. Ah, I see. Oh goodness, okay. The bigger the for the victim. Yikes. I see. Oh, goodness.

The bigger the more the stakes. Basically this president of a company, not CEO, but president went missing and it was all types of corruption and stuff going on. Oh dear. Yeah. I got obsessed. Never found that person either. Wow.

But that was a good one. Can I ask if you... It was a was a good case, I didn't fall. Can I, can I ask? Like a quality, it was a quality case. Oh yeah. A quality case. Yeah, it was quality, it tasted good, you know, tasted well. Oh, wait, tasted?

I just tasted, you know, in my mind. Oh, okay. The thoughts of it. On the mind's tongue. On the mind's tongue. Can I ask if there has ever been a case where you found someone, or you solved it? Did you specialize in missing persons

or is this just the luck of the draw? No, it was always missing persons. I have trouble finding things, you know? But I found myself in dignity. Oh, well that's lovely. Now, can I ask, when you were in LA, is that when you, oh, I don't want to answer for you. When is this time you went to Disneyland?

Where does that fall on the timeline? Yes, that was actually not too long ago, just maybe a couple months ago. So after you were already living here, what made you think to go to Disneyland? Because it's certainly not a hop, skip, and a jump. It's pretty far from Dignity Falls. So just to be clear, you said this was a couple months ago?

Oh, yeah. And you've forgotten all the rides? Or did you only go into one? OK, sorry. No, because I don't want to get ahead of myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you took a good one. We're going to get into it. Oh, we I- I don't want to get ahead of myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So you took a- Yeah, we'll get into that.

We're gonna get into it. Oh, we're gonna get into it. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm so happy to be here. It's been a long day for me. I know, I understand. We know it's been so long. You had that email.

The email waking up, seeing it's cloudy. I mean, I'm exhausted just recounting it. But, so you went to Disneyland by yourself? Yes, yes, ma'am. Okay, and so yes, please tell us about your day at Disneyland. Okay, so Yes, yes, ma'am. Okay, and so yes, please tell us about your day at Disneyland. Okay, so basically, so just a little context.

What I'm trying to do is just relax. Yeah, sure. I'm not trying to find anybody. Find anybody, yeah. But I'll tell you what, I did get really lost there. I didn't really. Oh no. So, you know, I found myself looking for the right rides to go on.

Oh really, you didn't ask anybody? Or there's a lot of people who are... Yeah, you know, I come off a little like aggressive sometimes because I'm an officer. Oh, I don't get that. You have such a very chill vibe. Yeah, you seem very relaxed. Very relaxed, yeah. Maybe that's why I never found anyone.

I felt like they needed to answer my question. Okay. But, so, you know, I didn't know what tries to do. I never, I never had any fun. You know, most of my life is murder, suicide, all that kind of, yeah. But I was, I figured, you know, why not go, you know, on my way here, I saw a couple billboards that said it was about Disneyland. Like, and it was, let's have fun. That's what they wanted us to do. Yeah. Look, nice little black family on the billboard. Yeah. How nice. How nice. Yeah. So I went down there. I couldn't find

anything. I went to splash mountain. That was my favorite. So you did go to splash mountain. Okay. That was, that was it. What is it? You know what? Well, you got on it right before they closed it down because they're, they're changing it to, um, to, uh, they're making it into a movie after the Princess and the Frog. That's right, okay. So that was my question. What movies do you love from, or are aware of, or characters that you know of from Disney movies?

Okay, so I really like Goofy. Okay. He's great. Yeah, I didn't see his ride there. Did he have a ride? Is he on a ride? It's so interesting, Goofy came up in our last episode. It's true, really.

Because we were talking about that sound he makes when he goes off a cliff like, ya-hoo! They should have a Goofy came up in our last episode. It's so true. Because we were talking about that sound he makes when he goes off a cliff like, yoo-hoo! They should have a Goofy ski. That's something I made on Splash Mountain. It is? Yeah. Oh wow.

I know what you're thinking. It's not open right now. No, no, no, it was open a while ago. No, you really just got on it at the last minute. You did, yeah. Okay, cool. All right, so when are they gonna change it to the new thing?

They're in the process of it right now. So I was on Splash Mountain. You were on Splash Mountain, yes you were. Yes you were. You will be one of the last people that got to ride on Splash Mountain. Truly, before they changed the whole entire thing. Are they gonna call it something different?

Yeah, they're gonna call it, I think The Princess and the Frog, because it's now about that movie. Byrne doesn't like that. That's a good name of a movie. Well, okay then. They should call it The Frog's Drop. There we go, maybe it's gonna be called the frogs drop.

That is better. The frog drop. The frog drop. That's very fast, that's a beautiful thing. So what rides, but. I guess what I mean to say is what previous experience with Disney had you had. Right.

So that maybe when you got to Disneyland, what were you expecting, you know? Not too much, yeah, goofy, I know goofy. You know goofy, okay. I know Mickey Mouse and stuff. I have I have two oven mitts Someone gave it to me as a gift, you know one of my victims parents You know, they couldn't I couldn't find their daughter so they gave me I couldn't find their daughter, so they gave me oven mitts. So they gave you Mickey and Minnie oven mitts? They felt bad for you.

You couldn't find their daughter. Don't worry about it. Why don't you just go home and work on your spaghetti and your Italian dishes. You like to cook. They knew a lot about you. You like to cook Italian food? Yeah, I love Italian food. I love pasta, spaghetti, lasagna. Yeah, that's another one. Oh, I wish I could eat lasagna.

Yeah, it tastes good. Yeah, everything's delicious, you know? Everything is delicious. This town has a really good, over on Theater Roosevelt Ave, has a good Italian spot. Oh, yeah, that's right. That's Littlest Italy. Yeah, Littlest Italy. Is that one block. It's good Italian spot. Oh yeah, that's right. That's littlest Italy.

Yeah, littlest Italy. Is that one block is all Italian restaurants. Yeah. In and out, yeah. But you know, as an detective, I like places like that. I always sit with my back against the wall so I can see who's coming in. Oh, that's what you do all the time.

Yeah, that's Spaghetti Yeti that you went to? Yeah, Spaghetti Yeti. Yeah, that's a great one. Yeah, they have a big Yeti in there. That's made out of spaghetti. Yes, well, hence Yeti Spaghetti. Well, he's called Yet Yeti in there. That's made out of spaghetti. Yes, hence Yeti spaghetti. Well, he's called Yeti spaghetti. You can take a picture with him.

People go there for their birthdays, you know. And if you, there's a fun thing. There's, he's got like a voice box in there that's triggered by, if you call him Yeti spaghetti, then the voice goes, excuse me, it's spaghetti Yeti. That's right, He corrects you. And then he drips sauce on you. Yeah.

I didn't get to see, that's why I get on the neighborhood app because I didn't even get to experience that. I could ask about, like someone could have told me that. Yeah. I just, I didn't realize. So, okay. So you're saying that you still kind of have this sort of habit of, of looking, you know, sort of being ready to look for things. And this is what's interesting to me about you being a detective,

that you think if you went into Disneyland, you might look for sort of clues for where to find a ride or something, or maybe, you know what I mean? Well, you know, they, hey. It's almost like, it's almost like your missing person this time was Disneyland while you were in Disneyland.

It's sort of like Disneyland turns everyone into a detective. You walk in like, what are the clues for rides? It took me back that time. I was walking around, you know, I was like, okay, I'm looking for a kind of fun that's fast. Right, that was your missing person this time. Yeah, yeah. And you could, and you, and so how,

let me know how you stumbled on Splash Mountain, because here's the thing, it's in like the very back of the park, so you actually have to pass quite a few rides to get to it. I mean, obviously I never got that far. Yeah. No, oh yes, this is also an interesting fact.

Berndt went to Disneyland only one time, but he only made it as far as the entrance with like all the flowers. It was too overwhelming for him. He turned around and went home. It was overwhelming, yeah. So in some ways you were kindred. If it's like this.

In some ways you're kindred spirits. We should go together. Yeah, you should go together. You know what, I've been meaning to go back, yes. Yes, you'd be so delightful. I could take you and show you around because you know, there was a time when, you know, we took some regular trips with my three children

out to Disneyland and I, you know, they do give you a map, you can get a map or, you know, I guess now you can look up at the map on your phone. What were you gonna say, babe? Did you say my name earlier? No, not, no. Oh wow.

Absolutely, no. I was getting worried for a second. I thought Doug was missing and I was gonna- Oh no, Doug's not missing. He's just working in the firehouse that he's building. If he ever goes missing and you need someone to look for him, I can happy to do that. Okay, I know.

Well, thank you. I haven't found too many people, but I- Yeah. Have you found any? That's what I, I don't found too many people, but I never. Have you found any? That's what I, I don't think we got the answer to that question. No, I've never found anybody, but I have found happiness. Well, I mean, that is important and I am happy for you. That's a good thing.

How long have you known the force? Can I ask that? Just about 45 years. Just about. Just about. Yeah. They never fired me, you know. That's a long time and that is interesting.

Yeah, you do look for me. I leave a trail of jelly beans everywhere. Just in case I ever get lost. Detective skills tell me if these jelly beans will take me to you. Doug's constantly worried he's gonna get lost. Just drop on every few seconds. And crows hate jelly beans.

Yes, they do. Yeah. Where do you find the good jelly beans. Yes, they do. Yeah. Where do you find the good jelly beans in this town? That's another question I wanted to ask. Oh, really? Yeah, I'm looking for good things. Weirdly, the hardware store has some good ones. Oh my God, they're so good.

They really do. I don't even like jelly beans, but those, the jelly beans at the hardware store? They hand make them. They don't have much in the way of hardware. They hand make them. They hand make them with the jelly. They hand make them with the jelly, put them in the casing.

I remember going there looking for a hammer, they didn't have hammers. But you got a whole... Wait a minute, what are you looking for a hammer for? Oh, oh. Because my last victim was hammered. Oh no! Oh, was hammered? Just kidding, just kidding.

Wait, what? But it's great to think about. That's funny. I found happiness. I guess. He found happiness. He found happiness. He's having fun. I'm not a detective anymore.

That's right. That's right. Okay. So I just want to revisit the Disneyland bit because this is where we are. What? Hey, Jones. Oh, hi.

I told you I'm happy. The day's almost got away from me. Let's go. Let's go to the Six Flags next. Wait a minute. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were here to talk about Disneyland. Let's go to Six Flags next. Wait a minute. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were here to talk about Disneyland.

We got to solve that before we go to Six Flags. Have you gotten any responses from people? Oh, that is a good question. Yes. Before you answer that, I do want to know, so you put it out on the neighbor app, you email someone. Are there other places you're getting this message out that you want to know people's favorite rides?

Yeah. So I also, I left a note for my mailman. About Disneyland rides. Okay. Yeah. I told him, write down your favorite rides on this paper and leave it there. I gave, I sent a package to my mom back East, back in DC. A package? Yeah. It was full of, well, that in DC. A package. Yeah. Yeah. It was full of, well, that actually is not relevant to this conversation.

Okay, fair enough, fair enough. No worries. But it, you know, it was part of my process. Okay. I sent her some stuff that I bought at the Disneyland in hopes that maybe she would tell me, you know, stuff that she liked. Oh, I'm not sure.

This might prompt a conversation. I guess so. Yeah. Okay. And then, yes. And then to Bern's other question, have people sent in any responses to you? Stuff that she like. Oh, I'm not sure. This might prompt a conversation. I guess so. Yeah. Okay, and then yes, and then to Bern's other question, have people sent in any responses to you? Yeah, yeah, so a lot of people said they liked the Star Wars ride.

Oh, yes, okay. Oh, sure. Yeah, they also liked the, cause there's another park I didn't even know. Yes, it's called California Adventure. I didn't know about that. It's right across the way. That could be a good witness.

I should interview them to find out more about it. Oh, Oh well he's not a person. It's an amusement park. The whole place is just an amusement park. Did you think California Adventure was a person? That you could interview? He did say him. He said him. They said they go, are you going to Disneyland or you're going to go see California Adventure? Right. So I was like, no I'm going to Disneyland. That must be this other person, right? I guess maybe in the detective field, people have sort of like informant names. And I guess it could be like, oh, I'm

going to go see California Adventure. Dairy Queen. Sure, exactly. That's right. Oh, you know Dairy? Yeah. Dairy is a real shifty shifty person. But for yet, in our industry, we have code names for people.

Right. Okay. That makes sense. I figured California, Venture, probably some kind of code. Sure. Some California informant. It's like a whole park. They have the whole rides over there. They've got a whole new bunch of rides there. That's right. And so, but you know, it is interesting again to say that you made it to Splash Mountain. You really do walk past, you know, the Pirates ride, a Haunted Mansion ride, you know. What do you think it was about Splash Mountain that made you so laser focused that you didn't seem to see any other ones and you went right straight to it?

Well, you know, I thought about when I was a kid and I was a real big step by step fan of the TV show and he opened a scene there, had the water splash over them. And I was thinking, I saw that from a distance and I wanted to be a part of that. So I didn't know it was a ride though. So I was going there to get splashed the water on. And then they were like, you wanna go on the ride and do the splashing.

I never thought about that. Doesn't one of the songs, oh, is that the start of the song? No, that's Full House. Oh shoot. Yeah. How does step by step start? Step by step, day by day.

Oh, that's right, okay. When you're alone and lost in the sun. And you know what, that is right, they get all splashed on water. And was that at Splash Mountain? I don't know, I've never seen it. It just has to be. It can't be no other version.

I never thought of watching television as looking at something from a distance. Right, yeah. But I suppose of that. I never thought of watching television as looking at something from a distance. Right, yeah. But I suppose it is. I guess it is in a way. I watch TV 15 feet away from my TV. Oh, so but not. I don't like to get too close.

I guess he's literal about it. He means it literally. My parents told me not to get too close. Yes, that's true. That was a thing. That used to be a thing with parents, that getting too close to the TV. It was, yeah. You'd go blind.

Yeah, yeah. Something bad was going to happen. Also, if you turn the channel too fast, they're gonna break it. Yeah, that's like, what are they thinking, you know? It's like, I'm flipping, I'm flipping. That is so strange, you know? Parents just lie to you, you know? They sure do.

Is that true? They tell you you're a good detective. It's a big part of parenting? It's a huge part of parenting, yeah. Lie, 100%. You lie to your kids? Oh yeah, yeah. You take your kids to Disneyland?

We did take them to Disneyland. Of course, we went to both Disneyland and Universal Studios, which is also a place you can go. What is that? What is that? What are you talking about, Joan? Okay. Okay. I don't want to throw. I'm so, you know what? I was, you know what? I was so nervous to say it because I thought that would happen. And I, and I, I, I- You had a sense that he'd never heard of Universal Studios. nervous to say it because I thought that would happen. And I, and I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I of the original ones. Well, I thought it was. Maybe it's not. I think it's entirely plastic. It's a solid piece of plastic. Well, it is pretty fake looking. And then you can sort of see some stunt shows. And one of the shows that they had, and I think this was part of what led to Manic Ranch's problem,

is that while they liked Disneyland, they loved this thing called Backdraft. Of course. And all it is is you just go in a studio. There was a movie called Backdraft that was just all about firefighters. Oh, I saw that movie. Oh, you did? Okay. So then all you do is you go into in a studio. There was a movie called Backdraft that was just all about firefighters. Oh, I saw that movie. Oh, you did?

Okay. So then all you do is you go into a room and honestly, everything catches fire. It just starts slowly and it just explodes. And it was hot. To be honest, it was very uncomfortable. And I mean, you would have thought that Matt and Cranch were just singing.

It was like Christmas morning. They were just a gog. They couldn't get over it. I heard they started singing. They started singing. They started singing. They started singing. They were like, well, they sang like, you know, like the Charlie Brown, they're like, oh, they put their little

cartoon noses up. They were holding noses. Oh yeah, they sang like who's. Well, that's good. It's in the universal canon. Exactly correct. I have to check this place out. I have to go there. Yes, but I will say if you found, yeah, I would start,

Disneyland is less overwhelming than Universal. And there's a very annoying escalator that you have to take to get down to everything. Did they have a Fast and the Furious ride? Is that a Universal movie franchise? Oh, maybe a Fast and the Furious ride. I know they have a Jurassic Park ride with like a really big, they have a water drop in that. And if you like the water drop from Splash Mountain, but like a really big, they have a water drop in that. And if you like the water drop from Splash Mountain,

we haven't really talked about it. Did you like Splash Mountain? I found it equal. I found it equal. Equal, now can you, yeah, too. Equal to, my body felt equal. It felt balanced. Balanced, what was balanced about it?

That's not a word I would think to describe that. I guess it was like, I was not too excited, not too... Bored. I guess I found it to be regular. Okay, good. Regular, sure. That's interesting, I wouldn't. Yeah.

Because it didn't do much. It's kind of problematic actually, the ride, which is a good reason why they're changing it. It's problematic. It's problematic. But... Yes, it's based on a very problematic property that is locked inside the Disney vault. And so that's one another reason why they're redoing it.

Yes. But yeah, because they were in this movie that they've hidden from the public. Then you go to this ride like who are these characters? Yeah, exactly. Oh, that's right. So so then you go. I did feel uncomfortable. How come we've never seen these guys before?

Oh, I know. These make me uncomfortable. That's right. we've never seen these guys before? Yeah. Oh, I know. These things make me uncomfortable. That's right. But they will still have the water drop. I'm pretty sure. I don't know how they're going to work it into the storyline of the princess and the frog. Or the frog princess.

Frogs love water. What? Frogs love water. Well, frogs love water. That's right. And which is, again, I know it's not going to be called that. The frog drop is what I think we all agree is the perfect name for it. The princess lift.

The princess lift, maybe. I don't know. Yeah. But here, I want to start. I would like. The Princess Lift, maybe. I don't know, yeah. But here, I want to, you know, I would like to share with you, since this is one of the reasons why you're here, could I share some rides that I think you might like? Absolutely. Perfect.

Let me know. Okay. Well, there's, first of all, if you like Goofy, if you go to California Adventure, there's a roller coaster that's called Goofy's Roller Coaster. And I'll tell you what, it is so wacky. Sometimes it's just that simple. It is. Goofy's Roller Coaster. Are you kidding me? It is called that. Well, there might be quacky. Sometimes it's just that simple. It is. Goofy's rollercoaster. Are you kidding me?

That was there the whole time? Well, there might be an adjective in between. Don't, don't. Goofy's goofy ass rollercoaster? Oh, goofy ass? Goofy's goofy ass rollercoaster. I bet that's real silly. It's real funny.

That sounds great. It is so crazy that you feel like you're going to get thrown out every time you take a turn. Oh, that's more than goofy. It's really. Yeah, that's a little than goofy. It's really. Yeah, that's a little threatening. Oh, so there's that.

But there's also sort of a fun runaway train sort of ride that has goofy as well. He's like the conductor and that is very goofy because you know, it's sort of like, oh no, gorse. You know, it's like. Is he asking for tickets? No, he's on the train, he's the conductor and you kind of get off the rails a little bit.

It's in a way that's balanced, as you would say. You feel equal. Wait, am I? I like things to be even. Yeah, I know. You like regular. I like regular, but I also am trying to get out of that. That's why I want to go to these places.

Isn't the conductor the one who takes the tickets? Oh, sorry, I guess he is the engineer. You're right. I really thought that I forgot a word. You should be a detective. You should. That's the kind of You're right. You're not the conductor. I really thought that I forgot a word. You should be a detective. You should. That's the kind of stuff I do. Do you like roller coasters?

I think so. When I went to Disneyland, I guess Splash Mountain was somewhat of a roller coaster. I felt the energy of a roller coaster. I don't know if you noticed, but it's hard to miss. There's a big white mountain in the middle of Disneyland. What?

Kind of used as a landmark really to sort of like gauge where you are and get your bearings in Disneyland. I did not see that. It's called the Matterhorn. And I'm just thinking because of Yeti spaghetti, there's a, there's a, an abominable snowman or a Yeti, if you want to say. Spaghetti Yeti.

Sorry, spaghetti, spaghetti Yeti. What did they say? Sex, excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Get out of my, get off my lawn. Get off my lawn. Clint Eastwood did do the voice and it was a real big, it was a real big get.

Yeah. It was cut from Grant's Reno. Yeah, exactly. And they said, hey, you know what we can do with this? So yes, to be clear, it's being used without his consent. Yes. Hope he doesn't find out. Yeah, so it's a fun roller coaster, but there's also this sort of scary yeti that growls at

you and he's trying to catch you the whole time. It's a rather thrilling ride. And that's a big one. I did not. It's called the Matterhorn Bobsled ride. He's trying to catch you the whole time? They've updated it and made it quite scary so that you can hear him like,

do, do, do, and you sort of hear him like bang on the ice and they, oh, they've made it much scarier. Yes. It's kind of crazy, but it's fun. I am so upset that this was in the Disneyland. It's in the Disneyland. It is in the Disneyland. That's where I was at. I know it was.

But I didn't see that. And that's crazy because it's up. You can't miss it. It really almost can't miss it. It's a big white mountain. There's so many rides in this. There's so many rides. Did I go there?

They haven't. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha another version of that. That is Disneyland, right? Where they are in that movie. Unless maybe, can you describe what you saw on the ride? Yes. Because we haven't really talked about that. I was in a log. Okay, that checks. That checks. Going up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, and then down.

Oh, well there was more to the ride than that. There was more to the ride. It's not just up and down. That's just a log flume. Yeah, that's just, you go through and you meet, like I said, a bunch of these characters. There's a big bear, there's a rabbit, there's some vultures. This doesn't sound like-

Oh, well, where, where did you, where do you think you went? I don't know. Oh dear. So you went up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, and then down. Yeah. I mean, that sounds like-

In a log. In a log, and there was water at the end. But maybe I didn't see that. I mean they have a log right at Knott's Berry Farm, which is another amusement park that's near by. What is that? What are you talking about? What are you talking about?

I'm so sorry. Joan, Joan. I should have learned from my last mistake. Oh no. Joan, is that another... This is so sorry, Payton. Maybe I went there. Maybe you went there.

Was there, did you see Snoopy a lot around there? Because that's sort of their thing is Snoopy, the white dog, you know, with the yellow bird woodstock. There's a lot of... Charlie Brown. Yeah. Charlie Brown was there. He was there with the football kick fit. Yeah.

I've seen that. I think I was at Knott's Berry Farm. You might have been at Knott's Berry Farm. Because I did not see a Yeti roller coaster. Again, it's really hard to miss. You might have been at Knott's Prairie Farm. Cause I did not see a Yeti rollercoaster. That I did not see. It's really hard to miss. It's really hard to miss. I saw it was a good fried chicken spot outside.

This is already tracking. Yes. Uh huh. That was not Disneyland. That was not Disneyland. That was Knott's Prairie Farm, my friend. Yeah. But then I, now we have to talk about this. So the only ride you went on at Knott's Prairie Farm

was the log slip. Because there are several visible roller coasters and you truly cannot. Did I say it that way? Roller coaster. Roller coaster. There are several visible roller coasters. Of love. Roller coaster.

I found happiness here in this town. I did not know I said it. Dignity Falls. Roller coaster. This is like a sort of Nicole Kidman speech that you're doing about Dignity Falls. Because in Dignity Falls, you are, we are happy. Whether you're a detective, you can't find anyone or can.

But look, I'm done with that life. I'm done. You are, you are. Put that behind you. Absolutely. It sounds like, I think you shouldn't be scared of these new amusement parks. First of all, you gotta go to Disneyland.

We've established that. You really should. Absolutely. Now you gotta go. I gotta try this yeti ride. Go on the actual splash mountain. You gotta try the yeti ride, go on the actual splash mountain when it's the frog drop.

Yeah. And you know, they have a haunted mansion. You know, they have a fun spooky ride. Oh yeah. I don't like scary stuff. Oh, okay, okay. There's the Cars, Oh yeah, there's, you remember the Cars movie? You know, there's a car race you can do. It's really fun. Captain Eo. Oh, okay. There's the Cars movie. Oh yeah, you remember the Cars movie?

You know, there's a car race you can do. Captain EO. No, that's not, that's not. Is that Michael Jackson? It is, but that's been gone for a very long time, babe. Oh man. It was fantastic, but it's been gone for a really long time, honey. It was fantastic.

It was fantastic. That's a while. I mean, gosh, there's a thunder mountain, which is a really fun sort of old west mining ride. There's a space mountain, which is where you go to space. A lot of mountains. A lot of mountains. Splash. Space.

Matterhorn. Splash. Oh, you already said splash. I did. Splash. Roller coaster. Splash. Butercoaster. Splash.

But there's four mouths there. Yeah, four solid mouths. Four S's. Splash. Splash. Splash. Splash. Splash.

I have to get down there. You have to bear jamboree. How long would you say? That's not there either. I mean, that's in Florida, honey, but not in the- Oh, is that true? Yes. It's not in- it was taken out of it. What do you mean, Florida?

Why? What are you talking about? Was it problematic as well? All right, hang on, no. Oh, he doesn't know about Disney World? I'm sorry. What are you saying, babe? What are you saying, hang on.

What is it? Is there something in Florida? There is something in Florida. Yikes, this is gonna prepare yourself, okay? I just need to take a breath. Not only is there an even larger Disneyland, they call it Disney World, but, and I hate to say this,

there's also a Universal Studios. And it's right there. And they have a Harry Potter world. Oh, he's trying to like, he's banging his head with his hand and he's sweating. I'm not worthy of this. I'm not worthy. What do you mean?

I don't deserve this, I don't deserve this. Why do you say that? There's just too much excitement out there and I've been living my life, chasing little girls. I can't find, I mean. Okay, got it. Let's clean that up. Let's clean that up.

You know what I mean. I'm gonna just let this. Yeah. Payton, do you feel that because you were unsuccessful in finding even a single missing person that you don't deserve to go to these theme parks? Yeah, it's like all I ever wanted was happiness in this life. Sure.

And I thought maybe go to Knott's, I went to Knott's Berry Farm. You did go to Knott's Berry Farm. Disneyland. Now you're telling me there's a Disney World and also has a Universal? It does. I don't know, but I was so consumed with finding missing people. I just didn't know about this stuff. You know, when I was at D.C., they had one too.

It was called the Param. It was called something Paramount or something. Oh, oh, yeah. Another amusement park. Another amusement park. Yes. I mean, here's the thing. King's Dominion. That's it. Yeah. King's Dominion. Yeah. Now that I do know about.

He had a Wayne's World ride, I think. Party time. Excellent. What what happened had a Wayne's World ride, I think. Party time. Excellent. What happened in the Wayne's World ride? Oh man. I think it was, from what I remember, this was me as a kid before I became a detective. So I did have fun as a kid. That's good, I'm glad to hear that.

But it was, I believe, as a white roller coaster. Tracks? Yeah. And they just play, I think they just play audio from the movie Wayne's World. No, and that's it. Not even like an animatronic. Party time, dude.

And then you just go down. There was no imagery. I don't remember seeing. They couldn't even put a couple mannequins off to the side wearing the clothes. No, they didn't do that. They had no respect for that. A white roller coaster playing clips from the movie.

It's one of those classic like whoop and down. Yeah. Just a whoop and down. Yeah. That's all I remember from Kings demand. So y'all haven't been there. I have not been there. No, I've only heard of it.

But here's the thing. There are several amusement parks. There's so many. All over the country, just so many. They even have them around the world this really is you could do you could really spend the rest of your life visiting these places I think that's what I should do I think I don't want to leave well you can come back whenever you want you don't have to leave for a full year you

can go to one place come back so I'll go to another place you know would you guys like to come with me or do you have to stay here? Well, I have to stay here. We have, yeah, we can. But here's the thing, okay, you know what? I guess I could come. I don't think you can. Come on, Doug. Hey, where you at, Doug?

Of course Doug would just go with you. I've been looking for these jelly beans, and I don't find you. I followed a jelly bean. I'm looking at my calendar and it's not locked. You wide open? Yeah. You freak, man, come hang with me.

I got no friends. I have no friends. Here's what you and Doug could do because I also don't want to further blow your world apart. No, I'm not gonna tell you what to do. I would never do that. But- I always let her tell me.

Well, that's different, babe. We have an amusement park here in Dignity Falls. There's a roller coaster that goes underwater and you have to sign a paper saying you promise to hold your breath. And we've talked about this on a previous episode. It's kind of a bummer now because they drain the water. There's just a big splash sound.

You're supposed to pretend you're underwater. Sounds like the waves rolled right now. But they still make you sign the document. They still make you sign the waiver. You just hear the audio of the splash. You just hear the audio of the splash. Yes, yes. And they do a camera, like a lot of times they do on these rides where they take a picture

mid-ride and if they see that your cheeks are not puffed out holding your breath, they find you. Oh yeah. Even though there's no danger of drowning anymore. It's a very good job for me. They're stuck in it. I could be one of those guys. Oh, now you want to work at the park.

Maybe that would be fun. Well, yeah, maybe I can do both. I can have fun and get a little bit of a... Exactly. I mean, if you're an employee, you get to ride on the rides, can do both. I can have fun and get a little bit of fun. Exactly. I mean, if you're an employee, you get to ride on the rides, I would imagine. I sure do. I can hold my breath a long time.

Okay, well he's doing it right now. Is he puffing his cheeks? Oh, he's puffing his cheeks. Just so everyone knows, he's actually- There's no need to do this. No need to do this. Oh no, he's getting really pale. He's, oh dear.

Are you okay? Oh God. Okay, whew. That was not very long. I found happiness. That was not that long. It wasn't, it wasn't that long. That was like at least an hour. I think he'd get fined.

It was, it was, it was. That felt like 30 minutes at least. It was not, it was not. I think you should start there in your own backyard, as they say, you know, at the local amusement park and definitely go back to Disneyland. And here's the thing. There are a lot of people, speaking of employees. There are a lot of people speaking of employees.

There are a lot of people they have name tags underneath. It says where they're from. And they're called Disney cast members and you can go and they are very helpful. They have to be. It's their job. But otherwise, they get in trouble. And and also a lot of people seem to enjoy working there. And maybe you could someday have a name tag of your own. It would say Peyton falls. I mean, nope, sorry. It would say Peyton and

it would say dignity falls underneath. You know, uh, if I ever run for mayor, I'm going to change my name to Payton falls, but I, do you have a current mayor right now? I can, uh, maybe I can do that too. We do. We were talking about the former mayor, mayor pickpock and he was just, he was the worst. And yes, we have, well, right now, Kurt one hasn't come out yet. No, we don't know who it is. He hasn't come out of the mayor's mansion. The election was two months ago.

He hasn't come out of the mayor's mansion yet. Or she. We have no idea. Willy Wonka. We have no idea. Yes, he's like Willy Wonka. There were seven candidates for mayor. There were no polls. Like, so we had no idea. We have no idea. Yes, he's like Willy Wonka. There were seven candidates for mayor. They were no polls. So we had no idea who was leading.

It's going to be a huge surprise. They're doing a new thing. This was the town council's idea, those idiots. A mayor reveal. That sounds real funny. That sounds exciting actually. I'll make sure I'm back in town for that. But I'm definitely going to go to another ride.

I got feedback on the neighborhood app. Oh, good. Our neighbor app. The, uh, the head was an elevator ride that drops you down. There is. And here, this one's really going to break your brain. Because in, um, in some places like Walt Disney World, that's at Universal Studios. What are you talking about?

What are you saying, Joan? Sorry. It's at a third place called Hollywood something. It's a Hollywood park. It's all Universal Studios. What are you talking about? What are you saying, Joan? Sorry, it's at a third place called Hollywood something. It's a Hollywood park. It's all about movies. Oh, the Tower of Terror? Correct. But it's the Tower of Terror in Florida and in Los Angeles or Anaheim.

It is in California Adventure. Again, not a person, not an informant. Right, right. It's a place. So that's another park. And what they've done is, you see, you know, Disney bought out Marvel and everything. So there's a whole Marvel thing going on over there.

There's like a Spider-Man show. And now it's the Guardians of the Galaxy ride. So now you follow that talking raccoon, you know? I don't remember his name right now. Rocket. Okay, great. So it's Rocket. And you basically, you get in, yes, an elevator,

you have to wear a seatbelt. And I think something comes over your head and it goes way up and then the doors open, so you see just how high up you are. And then it drops and it does it several times. How many times have you been, you know a lot about this place. Well, you know what you can do now is they,

people YouTube upload the actual rides from like a POV and so you can watch them a lot. So while I haven't been that much recently, I do enjoy watching those rides because sometimes it kind of feels like you're riding them. It's fun. And that elevator ride is so much better than the one at the park here.

Oh God, yes. Because here it's, because it used to be, the one in California used to be tied to the Twilight Zone. It was the Twilight Zone, yeah. And here it's, the TV property was 60 minutes. And what happens is it's a very slow ride and somebody asks you questions trying to get you. Yes.

And at a certain point the elevator just stops. It breaks. So then you're just stuck in an elevator. With this person grilling you. You have to check that out. No one can grill me. I'm ice cold. I'll bet.

I'll bet. I bet. You've been on the other side. You would do good on that ride. Yeah. I could stay in that day and I wouldn't cry. What were your tactics when you were kind of trying to, you know, you must have sort of your ways of going about your tricks of the train, you know, when you're either interviewing someone or looking for clues. Share some of those.

Yeah. So I went, one thing I would do, I freeze them out. Freeze them out. Okay, what does that look like? So I put them outside and then in the cold. Okay, so literally freeze them out. Literally freeze them out. Yeah, keep them cold and then I'll come back and I'll say, you cold? You cold enough?

Yeah, and then I'll put a big fan and blow them more. Oh, okay. Yeah, make them cool them down a little bit. Okay. So now they're just very, very cold. Yeah. What would you do in the summer? Wait, is there a follow up?

In the summer, oh. Would it work? Huh, that is interesting. It probably would work better in the summer, I think. Oh no. You think? Maybe in the fall. You know, I'm still working on it.

I'm still working on it. He's closing in on winter. You're still working on it, but you don't want to be a detective anymore. Well, I can't let go. Yeah, I bet it's hard to just turn it off. It's like that email, you know, the email I sent. I didn't want to, I wanted to just leave it in the draft,

but I just have to work. Yeah, I have to work sometimes. But another tactic we would do would be the eyelids. I would put my fingertips on the eyelids and then shut them like real romantically. Like this, like hush. And I'll go hush, hush, hush. So the opposite of trying to get them to talk. Yeah, they would be like, yeah. But then they'd be so overwhelmed with passion that they would be like, ah, I kidnapped her. Oh wait, so did that happen? It sounds like a poor... That's the idea.

I mean, that's what I was hoping for, but I never actually got it. That's too bad. That's too bad. It was worth a shot. Sounds really good though. Sounds effective. It was a good idea, you know.

In theory. So I have a lot of tactics, but I can't give them all away. Don't give them all away. Oh no, just in case you get back on the job. Yeah, and they work. Exactly. I mean, no one's gone missing in this town, right? We haven't had any of that stuff happen.

Not since the Diamond Ice Cream era. Yes, we actually shockingly just had on our show, if you remember the famous case, Walter Wallace's daughter, sorry, Walter Waffles, Walter Wallace was someone else. And yeah, the daughter disappeared and we all thought that she'd been abducted and all sorts of things. Put me on the case, put me on. Oh no, no all thought that she'd been abducted and all sorts of things

Put me on the case put me on We got her we got her but you were ready to go. Yeah, I'm ready to go I hear someone's missing. I gotta find them. I gotta find them right? I can't I just can't I can't I can't let the world go on Like this, right? I can't do it Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just a little winded from holding my breath Oh, are you okay? Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just a little winded from holding my breath. Making me exhausted. But I want you to know that I've had a very long day. I know, we know. And I'm sure that this just made your day much longer.

I'm happy to be here. This is like, this is the most, I've talked to anyone Oh goodness. In a long time. I bought my time. I bought the house out here. And you're just alone? You don't have any? No, I have no one. I have my mother back home. When I send her some gifts. And I have my oven mitts. Are you living in Little Bachelorette Town?

Excuse me? Are you living in Little Bachelorette Town? Yeah. It can be tough because it's a little bit, you know, it's just all bachelors and it can be sort of a little... Do you have your Scarface poster up? Yeah. You know, I don't have a scar. I have Carlito's way part. Oh, sure. Of course. Sure. And just a little bit. Yeah.

Sometimes you got to do your own thing. You know, the ladies love Carlito. Absolutely. You know, I don't like living around a bunch of single bachelors sometimes. It could be a little stressful. Everyone's always like, how'd it go? What's this lady's talking about? And I'm always like, look, I don't want to talk about anything if it's not fun. Yeah.

Oh, I hear that. The Kim Cattrall approach. Yes. I like her. They should do a amusement park on her with her. Why not? A Kim Cattrall themed amusement park? I think that sounds wonderful. Wow. I mean, not her. Why not? A Kim control themed amusement park.

That sounds wonderful. Wow. Yeah, it could be really fun. It could be a mannequin ride. Oh, for sure there could. Yes, absolutely. Another movie probably. Another movie probably.

A big trouble in a little China. Oh, was she in that? She was in that. She was in that. Amazing. Fascinating. I haven't seen mannequin in a very long time. I wonder if that would hold up. She was in that. Oh, right. It's amazing. Fascinating. I haven't seen Mannequin in a very long time.

I wonder if that one holds up. Before I got into the fourth. Yeah. I'm curious. Well, listen, I, you know. The movie has to be problematic, right? Oh, it has to be. It has to be.

I think with most movies, it's just best to start there and assume that they are. Yeah. Well, I, listen, I really do think you should start small just right here. Go to the, uh, go to our amusement park and, and then just see, see how you feel. And here's the other thing you could do. Do what I do. Go online and you just look up Matterhorn POV. So, you know, someone's holding a camera. I don't know how, uh, because it's a pretty, uh, it's a, it's a rollicking ride. Um, but,

uh, yeah, I probably go pro, probably go pro, um, but's a, it's a rollicking ride. But yeah, I'd probably go pro. Probably go pro. Go pro. But you know, and you can see, you can get to see what they look like, you know, and they're fun. And then, and then you can sort of decide in that way, you know, when you go to Disneyland, you can say, oh yes, I know I want to ride Matterhorn.

I know I want to ride Center Mountain. But do they tell you where they are? They do. They absolutely do. Like am I going to know where to go find it? Yes. What's crazy. Cause I don't want to get all excited and get there they tell you where they are? They do, they absolutely do. Am I gonna know where to go and find it? Yes, what's crazy. Because I don't want to get all excited and get there and I'm like, where's the Matterhorn?

What's crazy is if you ask someone who works there, they are going to know. Yes, they want you to ask. They want to tell you. They want us to talk to them? They do, they really do. Okay. They're very friendly.

I'm gonna trust y'all. They call it the happiest place on earth, Payton. Did you know that? I mean, if you just want to be happy, that's where you go. Okay? Over-stimulated. It's going to be okay.

You're going to be fine. You know what? I think that you should go home. It's been a long day. Yes. And I think- I'm going to get a good nap. I think you should go get a good nap

or just go to sleep for the day. I'd be done for the day. Yeah, I'm going to sleep right by the King of New York poster I have right on the bottom of my bed. That is just a mattress on the floor, obviously. Yeah. I have no box board. No box board. Yeah. A lot of detectives live or sleep on mattresses. You know what? That makes sense. Absolutely. Yeah. Keeps you sharp. Yeah. So I would go get some rest and then, do you know,

tomorrow look up some of these videos of these prides and that way you sharp. So I would go get some rest and then, do you know tomorrow, look up some of these videos of these prides and that way you'll know. Get a feel for them, yeah. Okay, that sounds like a good plan. And you know what, I really want you to find happiness. I think you're delightful. I found it, I found it. Oh, okay.

Okay, it doesn't sound like that, but you would know better than I. And yeah, I hope. You don't wanna see me, two years ago you say, oh man, I was a wreck. I was a wreck I cannot find this. Um, hold on a second. He's got a text. Oh One of my when I'm on my witnesses from that last case 13 years, oh my goodness, it says Payton

Is this your number? Is this still your number? Look, I wanted you to know that we that my daughter Uh, Peyton, is this your number? Is this still your number? Look, I wanted you to know that we, that my daughter, my daughter is friends with, okay, my daughter knows my daughter kidnapped. My daughter kidnapped. Wait, what? My daughter knows my daughter kidnapped. So apparently the witness...

Is this code for something? No. The person seemed very lucid at first. Yes. And then it seemed to drop off. He gets confused as the text goes on. Let me make sure I'm reading this right. Okay, let me... Yeah, make sure you're reading it right. Because I have that thing on my phone where if you want to cheat on your partner... Oh, what? I'm sorry, no, I don't think I know that. It keeps them from being able to look at your text messages. Really? What does that say? I've never heard of it.

It makes it hard for me to look at the phone. Is it an app? No, when you buy your phone, you tell them you want to cheat on your partner. And then they put this, it's like a filter. They install some specific? It's like a, see if you could see what, can you see? Oh, can I see what... Can you see? Oh, can I see?

I can't see. That's right. So when I'm sitting next to someone and I'm saying my partner, I'm texting someone else... And you can't see. It doesn't matter for me because I don't have a partner. Of course. But you put it on anyways. It's an aspiration.

Yeah. He's aspirational. He was like, when you get a partner, you do decide to cheat on him. Get this. But you have to tell them. So I'm sorry. This is very... We need to get back to this text. You do decide to cheat on him. Get this. But you have to tell him when you buy the phone if you want to put it on there. So, I'm sorry, this is very, we need to get back to this text.

So wait, is one of your witnesses saying that his daughter kidnapped the missing person? Okay, let me read it. Okay. Peyton, Peyton, is this you? Is this your number? Okay. Yeah. If it is, this is your witness, Craig.

Oh, Craig. Okay. Okay. So, I am with my daughter right now and she has just told me, okay, I see what she's saying. She's like her daughter and the victim, the one who went missing, they were best friends. Okay.

Craig's daughter and the missing person. So wait, you said her daughter. Craig is a, oh, excuse me, Craig is a man. Okay. And so his daughter, his daughter is friends with- The missing person. The missing person. Okay. And so his daughter, Okay. His daughter is friends with The missing person. The missing person. Okay.

Okay. She just told me, at her wedding, she just got, she said, I am living with a secret. I've been living with a secret. I have been, me and the victim, her name was Chantelle. Me and Chantelle, we planned this ourselves and I've been hiding her this whole time.

Oh my goodness, she told us at her wedding of all the times to do it. I gotta- You gotta go. And she's been hiding. Chantelle for 13 years? Is there anything else that they else? Did they say why? Is there nothing else?

They said... Do you have the dots? Are you getting the dots right now? Yeah, yeah. Oh, Craig is, this is happening live. It's happening live. Craig is writing right now. He's got dots.

Let me see, are you serious? I have, you guys, I'm gonna text him. Are you fucking with me? Yeah, for sure. Okay. For sure. No, this is very real. You know, I know how hard you worked to find Chantel. Oh, that's nice.

Oh. And I think you should come back. We owe you an apology. Oh, wow! This is amazing! This is crazy. I can't believe it. I'm so sorry.

I don't mean to derail. No, not at all. No, this is very exciting. I'm not sure we've ever had something happen. I have to go back. I have to go back and find out what's going on. Yeah. But they said, uh, we will take you to Disney World.

Oh, that's nice. Really? That's very nice. As a, as a, as an apology. So even though they're in LA, they will take you to Disney World. I think they're, oh, I didn't know where they were. They're in DC. Oh, DC?

I'm sorry. I assumed it was LA. Okay. No, no, no. That was a DC case. The LA case was a president of a company I was looking for. Oh, that? I'm sorry. I assumed it was LA. No, no, no. That was a DC case. LA case was a president of a company I was looking for. Oh, that's right. Yeah, that one didn't work out. I was less than mostly attached to that one. Well, Peyton, you've got to go. You've got to go to see

if that information is built on plates. Before I go, I must try to hold my breath a little longer. No, Peyton. I feel like my reputation is on the line. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's not. Listen, no, no, no. Oh my God.

Okay. We're going to have to go to a break here and make sure that he doesn't pass out. When we come back, we'll have more of the neighbor. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, $30. Monstera, that's it. I mean, why do people have to talk so much?

Why do people have to constantly say so much about what they're trying to sell? Here's a picture of a big leaf. Monster, Monstera, $30. What else do you need? Welcome back to The Neighborhood Listen. Wow, what a nice, I'm glad we could witness that closure. Me too, because I was a little worried about him.

I just was like, he's going to go back to that house and he's just going to be exhausted every day. And like, and the thought of him, ooh, two thoughts make me happy. The thought of him solving a case, finally finding a person. Although I don't know if it's really solving. Cause of course these people, these people tricked everyone. They felt bad for him.

They did. But at least I think it's still gonna feel like some sort of closure for him. Oh, for sure. Right, and realize it's not his fault. It was not his fault. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I mean, I guess he could have discovered somehow

that they were hiding, but that's hard. You know, I mean, that's even more hard than. Oh, yeah. Right, okay. And then also maybe him going to Disneyland some day and riding some of these rides and finding that happiness. I hope so. I really hope so too.

I hope so, he deserves it. I still think you should go back. I'm getting up the really hope so too. I hope so. He deserves it. I still think you should go back. I'm getting up the courage to do it. Okay. Yeah. All right. Well, maybe listen, well, maybe the kids will be excited to go back after all this time.

We can all go together. Oh, that's okay. We should go to the local one. Oh, really? We could go to the local one. They put in a new ride where you're, it's a full roller coaster. A full one. a full rollercoaster. A full one.

A full rollercoaster. Okay. But it's- It should be noted that there are some partial rollercoasters in the park and it's just- Well, you know, they have like- Yeah, there's one that just goes up. And they- You just have to walk down.

A long staircase. Which is scarier than a regular rollercoaster. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. It's called a scare case. That is so thin. It's so narrow, the scare case. The kids call it a scare case. Yes, they do.

That makes sense. But this one, you're actually hanging by your hands off of, you know, almost like a play gym. That seems so unsafe. Like a zip line, but a roller coaster? Yeah, like a zip line, but you're just hanging by your hands all the time. A play gym? Do you mean monkey bars?

Yeah, monkey bars. That stuck with me. A play gym? I knew you were going to seize on that. Well, how could we not seize? I honestly thought play gym was a sort of building that you can do all sorts of things. It has the big tubs of foam blocks you can jump in. That's what an alien says when they're coming down and trying to sound normal. And they're like, is your kid at the play gym? Where is the play gym?

Did your offspring enjoy the play gym? Did they go to the play gym? It's fun to talk like an alien. It sure is. All right, we have time for one more post. This comes to us from Pam. Hi, Pam. Pam, if you're out there, we're reading your post. This is in the appreciation section.

Oh, okay. I didn't even know that existed. Okay. I like that. Did I say something weird again? That's the shortest word ever to mispronounce. Oh, God. Oh, God.

I think I was also about to say, I did not know that that was a category. Yeah, the appreciation, yeah. I just went from okay to I did not know, and it just became oh, God. Oh, God. You can, yes, there is a section where you can just shout out something you think is great. Okay. You can, yes, there is a section where you can just shout

out something you think is great. Great, okay. And so Pam writes, hi there. I just wanted to acknowledge the four young people out with manual shovels this morning. What? The end. Oh, that was it.

That's it. Wow. I'm sorry, but what's the difference between a shovel and a manual shovel? Well, that's what I'm wondering is, I haven't noticed that a lot of people have abandoned the idea of shovels and they're using, you know, cranes or snow plows or,

you know, up and overloaders. There's no way to use a shovel but manually. Am I wrong? No, I guess if you worked for a construction company, you have access to earth movers, but I don't- Right, but then you wouldn't call that a shovel, right? Yeah, I don't know what she's talking about. I guess you could do a electric shovel. Yeah. Walk us through that. What would that be?

Well, okay. So picture like a vacuum cleaner almost. Okay. Close them. I have like listeners. I hope everybody at home close their hands. Okay. There's like buttons on the handle. Yes, I see it, I see it. I still see a vacuum cleaner, babe. You have to help me and change it into a shovel. Oh right, sorry. But pictures.

I know you don't have an imagination. We're starting at the top and now we're working our way down. It's really not, okay. It's a shovel. It's a real Cinderella's ball gown thing. It's starting at the top and by the way, by the way down, it's gonna turn into a shovel, okay.

So is there a bag attached? I sure hope not. No. Okay. There's no bag. All right. It's getting more shovel-like as we go. Let's keep going.

It's actually much more like a shovel than a vacuum cleaner. Okay. Well, I should hope so. It's a shovel. Okay, so, but imagine. Also, you were the one that introduced the vacuum cleaner. So, it's true. Yes, not our fault.

Just like I didn't name Oh, come all ye theater. You press a button in the sheath of a shovel or the shaft. What would you call it? Yes. The shaft getting into Harlequin romance. They're both Harlequin terms for a penis. Sheathed. Okay.

But that's sort of in two parts. So if you press the button, the second part juts out. So the shovel part. You mean the shovel part juts out. Like umbrella style? Oh yes, umbrella style. Okay, yes. Umbrella style, yeah.

Umbrella style. Umbrella style. Umbrella style. Umbrella. Now you sound like spaghetti yeti. Op umbrella style. Oh no, you know, absolutely not. Absolutely not. Now, why not?

You always got you there, Joel. Why not? If you have to ask the question. Oh, our eyes are opening now. If you, I was arguing with you with my eyes closed. You can open your eyes. I was starting to fall asleep. So I thought I should open my eyes. It's not done though. Clearly. OK, it just came out umbrella style. All right. So yeah, sorry, sorry. Everyone listening, when you open your eyes, umbrella style. We're gonna move on to the last part. Sorry, sorry. Everyone listening, when you open your eyes,

you'll be more relaxed and refreshed than you felt in ages. And also when you hear the word duck, you're going to sneeze. Let's not sneeze. Oh, okay. So it shoots into the earth. It shoots into the earth. The shovel.

Yeah. So you don't have to do the digging motion. So it shoots into the earth, but then you press. Do the digging motion. Everyone knows that's the hardest part. What about the shoveling motion? Exactly, you press another button and it just, it flaps. It flaps, okay.

And so it throws the dirt. Like a fin on a whale. Did we ever find out? That was your homework from last episode, burnt. It was to find out if a shark was a fish or not. Do it right now. I would do it. So sorry.'re just going to be looking that up. Okay, so like a, like a whale flap,

it just goes like that. Yeah. Okay. So she's like, and then that's the shovel going down and then, oh, that's the sound it makes. Just and flop. Okay. It seems like it would work.

Sure. Sure. Seems like it would work. That's sure. Seems like it would work. That's a great shark take pitch, babe. That's really, especially that's how you should end. Seems like it should work. Sharks are a group of elasmo branch fish. Elasmo branch.

Elasmo branch. Characterized by a cartilaginous skeleton. Can you show me where your elasmo branch fish are? I was hearing that there are many in this area. cartilaginous skeleton. Five to seven gals. Can you show me where your elasmo branch fish are? I was hearing that there are many in this area. I keep an elasmo branch in this tiny bowl receptacle. And you know, of course, you've heard the phrase no such thing as a fish.

There's a podcast called that. I have not. But apparently there's fish as a species do not have enough commonalities to be a species. What? Yes. They're just all too different.

They're all too different to be one thing. That kind of makes sense because there's a lot of different kinds of crazy fish. There's too many. There's just too many. The guys with the flashlights on the heads, come on, give it a break. Give it a break.

Give it a break. Give it a break, you guys. But okay, so getting back to the shovel business. Oh, but I was right, it's a fish. Yeah, we are, yes, we're. For better or worse, for lack of a better term, according to everybody. Yes, Joan, we got confirmation.

According to the ick-theologists. Joan was right, everyone. Thank you. And I was wrong, I understand. I was wrong. Oh, okay. I was the one that said, I don't think sharks were fish. Yes.

I kicked the table. And so, but the electronic shovel is something you just invented just now. It's not as if there's been a rash of kids using non-manual shovels. That's right. Okay. And then back to this post, here's my guess. What did it just say? Can you read it again? What does it just say? I like that she just acknowledges them, or I don't like this.

Here's what I think. Acknowledged but not appreciated. Here's what I think. Well, I guess because it's in the appreciation section, that she's assuming you're doing the work. Hi there, I just wanted to acknowledge the four young people out with manual shovels this morning. Okay, so here's what I feel like,

because we did have just recently. Her name is Pam. Yeah, I feel like what Pam is like, because we did have just recently- Her name is Pam. Yeah, I feel like what Pam is doing, the only reason you'd think someone for shovels is for shoveling a driveway or a walk or a sidewalk. We had a freak blizzard- I went to snow, but yes. We had a freak blizzard just maybe like a week ago, and it was crazy, because it snowed on the Sproon Dune,

and it was just like, it was crazy. And then it really looked like the Matterhorn, to be perfectly honest. People were sledding down it. Kids tried to jump in it. Yeah, and they had already shellacked it, but so it was very dangerous. Absolutely.

And so I think, I bet you anything, she was just thanking people for shoveling the walkways. You know, I, you know, it makes me think back to like, it's always the thing that you tell, you know, your kids to do. But of course, Matt and Crunch's answer was to set it on fire. They would go out, they'd pour some lighter fluid

on the snow, and then they would just melt it. And that's how they did it. And they just thought they were geniuses. It did work, it did work, but oh God, it smelled terrible, and it was terrifying for people, you know? In general. Well, of course, to see a path of flame. Yeah, just flame, just a path of flame.

So anyways, I think that's what it is. But it was a funny way of saying it, you know, because, well, there was not a lot of specifics to it. I mean, I guess people have snow blowers? If you really, we're not quite a town. We're not quite a town that gets that much snow, but sure, there's some towns that I think people own their own individual snow blowers.

No, babe, you cannot get a snowblower. I can just already hear the wheels turning. I know he wants one. We don't have enough snow to rate getting a snowblower. To quote Wayne's world on that ride, which would be like, oh, I don't even own a gun, let alone many guns to necessitate entire rack. That's what Wayne says when Laura Flynn Boyle

gives him a gun rack for his birthday, his crazy ex-girlfriend. Oh yeah, that's right. Great character. Do you think, how, if you watched that movie today, you would laugh a single time? You know what's funny?

I just recently did watch that movie. Did you really? You know, I used to watch it a real, like a long time ago. You know, it's not bad. It's pretty darn funny. Do you know who's really funny in it? Who?

You know who's really funny in it is Ed O'Neill. He plays the owner of the diner. The donut shop. The donut shop, sorry. And you know, he just immediately, you think that the camera's gonna follow Wayne, but it follows Ed and he just starts talking about Vietnam and he just goes, I didn't have anything to do with it.

When you kill a man, he just literally, he just goes off on a crazy tangent. And it's very funny. And T. Carrera, she's a babe. Wow, she's a major babe. Oh, she's gorgeous. Yes. You know, I think it kind of, I think it's kind of fun. I mean, you know, it is what it is.

It knows what it is and it is what it is. What about Austin Powers? If you watch that too. Don't know, bet you that one is, bet you that one's rough. I saw, me and the boys saw space balls again and I didn't laugh a single time. Really?

You didn't? You're kidding. Was it- I really thought it was- Pizza the Hunch didn't get a chuckle out of you? Yogurt, dark helmet. Was it because you guys were doing- Dark helmet.

Was it because you guys were doing your movie game? See the boys, if you go see a movie with the boys, then all they do is just run around and try to change seats as much as they can. And when they were little, you know, it was so hard to keep track of them. And then- Oh, I thought you meant, okay, I'm so sorry.

When you said the boys, I didn't think you were talking about the twins. I thought you were talking about- I thought you were talking about the boys. Were you not talking about our boys? I was talking about the twins. I was talking about our boys. I immediately went to like the guys from Rhubarb Caravan.

Yes, or the ones from the Superbar. That makes sense. Yeah. Were they not the same? Well, I thought they were a few. You invited a few. There's overlap, right? There's overlap. A few Caravan. Yes, or the ones from the sleepover. That makes sense. Yeah. Were they not the same? Well, I thought they were a few. You invited a few. There's overlap, right? There's overlap.

A few Caravaners, a few others. Definitely, sleepover Rhubarb Caravan overlap, for sure. Well, I don't know. I guess we'll have to, we already have so many watchalongs, so we have to really get to some of those first. Yeah, we really do. We really do.

And then we'll get around to Austin Powers. Austin Powers maybe, I don't know. We'll see. Wait, so you and the boys would run around. What's the seats game? Oh, they run around and try to change seats. And if they don't find any seats and they just sit on you. And I bet you they were just sitting on you a lot.

They were just sitting on me. Yeah, that's probably why you didn't enjoy a single minute of it. I can't quite write my way around this game. I promised them a good time. Then It was just a horrible movie now. I don't know about this. They had never seen it before. They had never seen it. Oh, okay. That was, you know, but they barely watched it because they're just busy messing around. Yeah. So I'm sure they laugh. I'm sure they laughed at all the scatological jokes.

I'm sure they did. They barely paid attention. They were just running around so much. Oh, there you go. And then, yeah. Tell me they didn't miss the big comb. The big vacuum cleaner in space. Oh, there you go.

I forgot about the vacuum cleaner in space. By the way, do you know I had never seen this movie? No kidding, are you serious? I've never seen it. Oh, well, Bert, you gotta watch it and then we'll talk about it. I think I may have listed all the things that I know about Spaceballs just now.

And that Rick Moranis wears a big helmet. I'm sure you know that. Rick Moranis revealing the Rick Moranis face in that big helmet. Rick Moranis is pretty hilarious. That's a slight chuckle. Nothing against Rick Moranis. You know what?

If you take anything from this podcast episode today, nothing against Rick Moranis. Nothing against Rick Moranis. And of course? If you take anything from this podcast episode today, nothing against Rick Moranis. Nothing against Rick Moranis. And of course, that is the title of the episode. Well, we have to go. If you would like to listen to ad free versions of The Neighborhood Listen, you can go to cbbworld.com. Sign up on the Maximus tier, and you

will get ad free episodes as well as access to the bonus room. These are our extra episodes that we put out for our paid subscribers, where we just explore more of the neighborhood in different ways and it's a lot of fun. Mitch McNutt even somehow got on there. Oh yeah. How did that happen?

He did, well, it was because- That's sort of his stupid podcast. I know, we were sort of tricked. Apparently the people at what CBB World is, that's how it is, we still don't know what it stands for. Yeah. They said that they would promote hurl it, you know, as long as we allow, as long as we allowed sort of like, you know, a little bit of a share from the other. They were interested in sort of like the extra universe of digging me. They said, escrow stop.

Wow. That was a real dad voice. I thought I would try it out. Yeah, it was good. It sounded good on you. Anyways, we were tricked and we let, when they just said an extra, you know, an extra podcast from locals, and I didn't know that Mitch McDut was the local. I never would have occurred to me that would have used his.

And the thing is, Carol Dragon saying, I used to be friends, but you know what? Like, we were not anymore. And it's, and she talks about it a little bit. Anyways. They put in the episode art. I saw both their fingers were crossed. Both their fingers. That is very silly. All right. We have to go get Eskro to be quiet and I'm going to make Burt use that voice again. And, and we're going to see you next time, right? Yes, that's right. Until then, goodbye.

And bye. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been Yes, that's right. Until then, goodbye! And bye! This is a production of Comedy Bang Bang World. Go to CBBWorld.com to unlock the entire history of the show, ad-free, as well as brand new full-length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maximus subscribers. Your support keeps the show going.