The Neighborhood Listen - Repurposing Keys w/ Scott Aukerman

Episode Date: November 21, 2022

Burnt shares with Joan why he no longer preemptively tries to stop crime in Dignity Falls while Doug is excited to reveal his new television pitch. Plus, Sybil (Scott Aukerman) joins the show to explain his elaborate plan to repurpose old keys.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website. Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. Knock, knock.

Who's there? Your neighbor. Good. In Dignity Falls, you're never alone. You've got the NeighborHap app and us, and Joan From coyotes to mail theft to weird things to sell We'll cover it all and meet new neighbors as well We'll chat about any posts you're missing

So just tune in to the Neighborhood Listen And welcome once again to what? Oh, yeah, good, good. It's good? Yeah, it's good. That was good. All right. You got so excited. I did. I didn't know we were starting. Has it been that bad before?

No, no, no. It just had a real and I liked it. You do like those sort of ramp ups. I do. I love it. I'm theatrical. I suppose that's true, isn't it? Yeah. Well, how would you do it? It's like a warmup. It's called like an elevator. That's the old, it's what we call it when you, when you do that. It's like you go up and then you go down. But you know, it, it makes me, it puts me in mind of a hill of traveling over hills. Oh, I hills. Oh,

I see. Well, I think they should call it to grandmother's house. That warmup. Yes. I mean, it depends on how the relationship you have with your grandmother, because then that could affect the warmup.

It could be like, Oh, you know, if you're, if it's called the elevator, then you're, it's your relationship with the elevator. You just get in,

you just go up and down all the time? I think it's because of the visualization of it. I think that's what we're always trying to do when we're learning how to sing. So we're visualizing all the way up and all the way down. But this is what I'm saying. I'm visualizing these hills. I know. You're really stuck on the hills.

Where's Kate Bush when you need her? I understand you've never heard that song before and you're very into stranger things which i was also very surprised love stranger things never heard that song never heard it and he came in one day and he was like i heard this this you have to first of all you have to see this show that's right because i hadn't seen it i don't love scary stuff well it, it's not that scary. Really? I mean, well, it's pretty scary. Okay. I had to call out from work. You did?

Due to fright. Due to fright? Yes. You cited fright as the reason? I cited fright. Well, I'm very honest with the gang at work. It's a fright side. Say again?

I'm very honest with the gang at work. Yeah, your gang. And I will say, hey, gang, I can't come in today because I was watching stranger things. I got too scared. I, I keep seeing the Demi Gorgon everywhere. I look, Oh,

is that the thing that looks like a, you know, like a plant gone wrong? Yes. Yeah. Yes. Or a plant that has achieved its ultimate goal. Oh,

is it like the, what is it? The destruction of humanity? It's always the destruction. I guess just to be able to eat people. Oh, uh, well, uh, it is. I didn't know the song. It's always the destruction of humanity. I guess just to be able to eat people. Oh. Well,

it is. I did know the song. I just didn't know the show. Right. But you, you sold it pretty good. But I, you, you are singing that song all the time.

It's always on your brain. Run of the road, run of the hill. Now, Joan, you know I can't carry a tune, so I hope that was close. I think that's the army song.

I don't know, but I've been told. Yeah. I don't think we finished the intro. No, we didn't even start it. Okay, sure, sure, sure. Barely. Okay. But welcome to The Neighborhood Listen.

This is the podcast that looks at the neighborhood of Dignity Falls, and that's where we are right now. And by we, I mean me, one of your co-hosts. I'm Bert Mia Payday. I'm a pharmacist here at the CVS in Dignity Falls. And with me is... Joan Pedestrian, and Iist here at the CVS in Dignity Falls. And with me is... Joan Pedestrian. And I'm the top realtor here in Dignity Falls. And of course, with us as always is my husband, Doug, who works as our engineer.

That's right. And today, he's in the evidence room. Oh, you have an evidence room now. Yeah. What we did was, Doug is a huge CSI Law & Order fan, loves it. And we had that lost and found room. And so what we did, we just converted it. I thought it'd be really fun to, you know,

people call up for something. I lost my phone and he goes up into the room, pulls out a little file, pulls out a Ziploc, but he loved when he finds a hair, but I mean, he's giving away evidence to the people. No, no,

no. It's, it's the, it's the person who lost it. He just likes to pretend that it's evidence. Right. But quote unquote, we didn't really have a crime scene, but he loves pretending like it's right but is is there and

i hope this isn't a foolish question is there any actual crime evidence in that room oh lord i don't think so babe oh there's tons what there's tons of evidence tons he says tons if you look around you there's evidence all around you. Well, you mean like in life? I don't know what that is. I don't know about that. Why do we need a movement? He's got a philosophical.

You just need to know the case you're studying. What are you, Doug? Like I said, it's kind of a role-playing thing for him. He loves to go in there and sort of search. I think you're talking about a different role than he's talking about. I need evidence. I need empirical evidence because I different role than he's talking about. I need evidence. I need empirical evidence because I lack imagination as we talked about. Okay.

So if there's a question and what, you know, where did this thing go or where, you know, where might I have lost my phone? Like I need to piece together an actual trail. Okay. So let's say you lost your phone.

Okay. And you're piecing together the trail. What's involved in that, Doug? Actually, that's a lot of like testimony, testimonial evidence. I'll interview people at the trial. He pulls me in all the time. He does like a good cop, bad cop thing with me with like a swinging light above. Who are you interrogating?

The phone? He interrogates me. Oh, so I didn't know the good cop interrogated the bad cop. No, he plays both. Oh, he plays both cops. Yeah, he leaves the room. He comes back in. Oh, no.

I know he loves it. It's kind of sexy, actually, I have to say. I'm not against it. I'm kind of into it. Who are you more attracted to? Good or bad? Good dog or bad? I like, I like,

I like the transition from bad cop into good cop. Like, listen, I'm going to, that guy was an asshole. It takes place off stage. What? I'm not.

No, no, no. For me, the transition of when he leaves after he's just, after he's roughed me up as the bad cop. And then he comes in as the good cop. And he's like,

he comes in with like a warm tea. Are we talking physical violence here? No, I knew you were going to say that. I knew you were going to say that. You used the phrase rough me up. I know I did. And I instantly regretted it because I knew it was going to be a thing. I just meant emotionally roughed me up.

Right. Got me all, got me all in a tizzy, you know, but kind of, like I said, in a good way, it's my husband, you know, I'm able to, I'm an actress. I'm able to not take my work home with me. I don't lack imagination like Doug. Right. Again, not my words. Oh, you said lack. No, I'm sorry. So yeah,

he does that just for I think it's important to know for the listeners that Doug does like imagination. It's just that he lacks it. He doesn't lack it, but he likes it. I thought I heard you say you don't like imagination. No's just that he lacks it. He doesn't like it, but he likes it. I thought I heard you say you don't like imagination. No, I like it just fine. And he couldn't let that stand.

No, he could not. He may not have imagination, but he will defend it to the death. That's right. So we do a lot of interrogation. He'll dust for fingerprints. My God, everything is black around the house. All the little sort of,

you know, the doorknobs and the frames and everything. He loves that. He gets out his little kit and then, yeah, he'll take some DNA samples. Is there any other way to find the phone? I mean, I told, yeah, I mean, I have find your phone. I don't know if he does, but I don't think

it matters because I think he prefers to do it this way. You can't trust that. Well, you can. I mean, what do you mean by that? What do you mean by that? You can't trust the app and the wireless. I mean, you think it's trying to trick you? Right. Like lead you into a dark alley? Those things can go, yeah, they can go

anyway. They don't know. They can go anyway. They don't know. Who's they in this scenario? Are they with us right now, Doug? The people who make the Find Your Phone app, how would it know where your phone is? Can you explain? Without taking DNA evidence,

I don't see how that's possible. I think it sends... I don't know why I'm answering. No, go. You got it, Byrne. I believe it sends some sort of't know why I'm answering. No, go, you got it, Byrne. I think, I believe it sends some sort of signal, you know. Some sort of signal. Yes. So we're hand-waving away.

You know what? Whenever you just repeat something someone said afterwards, you can always make it sound like it's not legit. I mean, just try it with, that's very true. See, it works every single time. Oh boy, it's a great, it's a great tool. Bad Doug loves that tool. Yeah, he does.

Sure, sure. Bad Doug does it all the time. I say, I was simply trying to take a shower. Simply trying to take a shower. Well, that's a mockery. Correct. I agree. That was more than just a cold

read back. I think he took some liberties there. Yeah, he did. Sorry, it wasn't the greatest reading. Quaver in the voice. Wow. So there's not tons of actual crime scene evidence. There's just the evidence that Doug needs to know that things exist. Yes. Apparently

anything could become evidence. Boy, that's true that's true except oh the an icicle sharp enough to stab someone oh the old one where there's just a pool of water under a puddle of water underneath someone's leg of lamb oh what's that one that's that was from an alfred hitchcock presents oh and uh maybe it's a short story first i don't remember and i don't care. But what happens is a wife, she kills her husband. She bludgeons him with a frozen leg of lamb. Then she calls the cops and then when the cops

come, she cooks and serves the lamb to them. Oh, that's good. She said, I found my husband like this. I don't know what's going on. That's really good. And I mean, is there any way to determine like a lamb death? Not back then. Like a blunt lamb forced trauma. Not back then. Now,

now I have a lot of tech, a lot of tech. Well, they, they, of course they said, well, we can't let this stand.

We have to figure out a way to detect frozen lamb. I used to hate all those little puzzles. I can never figure them out. You know, like a woman, a woman, something about a run at someone running to home in a mask. Um,

what? This is terrifying. It's someone running to home in a mask. Um, what? This is terrifying. It's supposed to be, but in the end it's just baseball. You know what I mean? It's like someone's running to home. Someone's chasing them with a mask. And in the end it's like,

Oh, the trick is that they're just playing baseball. I see. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, yeah,

that's scary. It's scary. If you don't know what baseball is, it's scary. If you don't know what baseball is, it's really scary. It's really scary. Uh don't know what baseball is, it's scary. If you don't know what baseball is, it's really scary. It's really scary. I've got to look that one up because it sounds very stupid.

Well, I might be getting it wrong. It makes me angry. No, I think you're probably getting it right. I think you're probably getting it right. But why were we talking about that in the first place? We were talking about an icicle. I know, but why were we even talking about that? Oh, I know what I was going to say to you.

Speaking of evidence, are you still doing your crime scene, your sort of like pre-cog bicycle rides at night to scope out murder scenes or crime scenes that might be about to happen? Yes, I've stopped doing that after doing it for the better part of a couple years and not preventing a single crime or even seeing one about to happen, I finally came to the conclusion that I'm not needed in this instance. Okay. I am still, of course, putting go bags all around Dignity Falls. That's right.

Refreshing the lunch meat every single day. That's right. And that keeps me pretty busy. Because there was a time when you caused one of the posts right because there was a terrible smell everyone was complaining about because you hadn't refreshed i hadn't refreshed my go bags in a particular area of town and of course with something like you have to throw out the whole bag at that point oh of course it affects everything else because those bags are not they're not cheap if you get a good solid which again was that is um it's interesting that you are still doing the go bags because that is sort of a toll on your budget, I would imagine.

I mean, it costs a lot. I mean, the bags are sturdy. What else is in there? Lunchmate, I think some batteries. Okay. Maybe a book, like a good book. Sure. What was the go bag for again just in case okay i cannot remember my original purpose for the go bag but i think it's it doesn't hurt to

have them all around town i mean i i guess i'll take your word for it and i'll give you the map like if you ever need them oh thanks sure what are friends for if not to give the location of hidden go that's right and it's a fun i drew them at myself it's very fun oh now that is fun yes uh but uh i think it's good that you've learned that maybe you don't need to be because i was worried about you just cycling around at night you know looking for trouble frankly well i mean the cycling was a small part of it. Most of it was just laying. I wasn't worried about you cycling, to be clear. I was worried about the fact that you were out in places that looked sketchy,

just waiting for something to happen. Yeah, I was just laying in wait. And, you know, I thought I'd have a chance to do some good in this world. And I failed. Maybe you need an evidence man with you. Well, that's, I mean. Okay, and what would he do? Well, it could help to identify potential crime sites.

In what way? If I see evidence, that could be evidence of activity, of footprints, say, or fingerprints. Okay, so you're going to dust the city for fingerprints? Or a trail of, you know, illegal substances. Hmm. Has there been any case in criminal justice that has come down to a trail of illegal substances?

You're talking like a Hansel and Gretel style? Listen, I should just tell you that what he's kind of doing is trying to soft pitch you. This show that he's been wanting to do for forever called Evidently about a man named Lee who is able to find evidence before anyone can see it, sometimes even before the crime happens, which is, again, he hasn't cleared that part up yet.

If I may, that sounds a little bit like a ripoff of what I was doing in real life. He just arrived at that idea by himself? I don't know. He did seem to come up with the idea around this time. But, you know, he's so obsessed with evidence that that's what he started working on. And so that's what I know. That's what he's doing.

And I think he was obsessed with evidence. So in the show, do people call him evident Lee? Yes. Yes. Yes. And you know, they're never believing him, you know, and he's always having to convince them. He's like, I'm telling you, this is a footprint. They're like, no, it's not.

They don't even believe it's a footprint? So wait, maybe is part of it that he's, he's bad at his job? No, it's like he, it's like he can see, it's like he can see it before it's there. I don't know. Why am I explaining this? This is, this is not my show. They're corrupt.

That's the problem. It's a corrupt town. That's what it was. It's a corrupt town. So whatever he says, they just say yeah i don't think so yeah that's not a footprint because everyone's involved in every crime yeah yeah it's just the whole the whole and so it's up to him it's gritty it's up to evident yeah he's gonna shoot it you know it's gonna be like um like in the scenes where he sees the

evidence it's gonna go black and white right babe and he sees the evidence, it's going to go black and white, right, babe? And then like the evidence appears like in like a bright yellow or something. Oh yeah, because he has almost supervision for evidence. It's like those old... This is the painkiller. The Newprin commercials. The Newprin commercials, yeah. Now, will you...

Will the Newprin people be involved? Will the Newprin people be involved? Because I mean, if you, will the Newport people be involved? Will the Newport people be involved? Because I mean, if you're hoping for a sponsorship. Is Newport even a thing anymore? Oh, it's a thing. It is? I still get it. How?

I've never seen it in the store. I order it in bulk from overseas. They still have it. Nothing works like Newport. Like you're ordering it by the pallet? Yes. Is that what you call it? Nothing works like Nuprin. Like you're ordering it by the palette? Yes. Is that what you call it? Nothing works like Nuprin.

Yeah, but I don't think it's actual Nuprin because it's spelled like N-I-E-U-W-P-R-Y-N. Yeah, I wouldn't put that in my body. As a pharmacist, Doug, I should advise you that that is not Nuprin. Well, anyways, there you go. He's got...'s, he's. Could you, could you describe the feeling?

Yeah. Almost like a completely numb sensation. Like if I have a headache, it just sort of wipes. It just dissolves away all feeling in my body. In your entire, entire body. Right. It just takes care of any pain you have. Are you able to move? I like to take it at night, you know, before we watch our shows or, you know, when I'm not moving a lot.

Because it is difficult to move. Okay, that's not Nuprin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nuprin, I don't believe, had a paralyzing effect. No, it did not. It absolutely did not. They didn't advertise it. Although this was before they have the commercials now where they have to tell you where they have to

tell you that yeah everything was just like take new print it's great exactly you just see it in the guy's hand that's right and it would be yellow and everything else would be black and white yeah so that's how he sort of sees it in the season i didn't know he was still working on it but clearly the evidence room has brought back that whole desire to uh write the pilot i guess i don't know but uh i keep telling him it's too long it came in at like 101 pages oh and he wants it to be a half hour procedural yeah has anyone done that before see i mean he's gonna be a trailblazer. Can he just chop up the pilot into several episodes? What do you think? It's a good idea. Yeah. You guys can be involved. I keep inviting. I mean, that's why I'm pitching. Pass. Well, and Joan, you're the expert.

Well, listen, you know, I'll support you in anything and I will play any part. So maybe we'll put together a little. Could evidently be a woman? L-E-I-G-H? I, I sort of mentioned it once, but I was shot down. I would. I mean,

I think that would be a fun spelling. It would. Yes, it would. All one word is the title of the show. Just evidently, right into L-E-I-G-H. That's right.

But they still call you evidently. Like evident comma Lee. Well, yeah, because they want to make sure that you're not hearing evidently. Yes. Evidently. I mean, I think it's a great, listen, I think it's got a shot, babe. I think it's got a shot.

You can throw songs in there. Oh, I'm in. Just throw some songs into this half hour crime procedural. though it doesn't make sense i see the evidence oh that's fun joan you seem very surprised delightfully surprised by the song you just sang well i don't really i don't i can never really think of rhymes on the spot you know it just sort of came to me the singing isn't surprise. It was the rhyme that worked so well. Understood. That is the hardest thing to do is to make up rhymes on the spot.

That was really great. The only, my only note. Oh, you've got a note now? Well, my only note is that it does make sense. It makes perfect sense. The evidence always makes sense. The evidence always makes sense. The evidence always makes sense. This, I don't know. Are you sure you're going to get a half hour out of this?

It's just all evidently trying to convince these corrupt people. Evidently is correct. It's the town that's corrupt. That's the tag. Okay. Evidently is correct. It's the town that's corrupt tag okay evidently is correct it's the town that's corrupt okay so every episode is I

would guess first minute is evidently discover some evidence and it solves the crime yeah well like yeah it's always like him walking in an alley like like a cat you know and then he just goes and then it goes to the opening title you don't get to see what he sees yet oh yeah keep them hooked it goes to the opening title. You don't get to see what he sees yet.

Oh, let's keep them hooked. What did Evidently see? It's like the Quantum Leap. Oh boy. But instead it's just like. You know, I can't think of Quantum Leap anymore without thinking of one specific oh boy. Oh.

That I can't even talk about it. Oh, okay. It's something they would not do today. Oh. Well, i can't wait to hear about it while we take a break which chosen would they would absolutely not use that language today amazing i can't i can't wait well now i need to go to the break so i can hear it so why don't we go to a break all right and when we come back is that good is that a good idea yes everyone's on board okay so we'll take a break and we come back. We'll have a guest.

That sounds great. Okay. This is Leslie. Facebook create page need help. I need help setting up a FB page. Well, actually, I have it set up, but it is not working like I need it to. I could really use some help from someone that has set up a page using some color text and web links. Yesterday, I set up my page in Word, then copy-slash-pasted in the, quote, post area, lost all color, used to highlight different sections of the post so everything wasn't black and white except the web links and they worked great. Today, I set the post up the same way except before posting on FB, I made a JPG file, then copied that and posted FB. Great.

Now I have the color, but the web links don't work. You can see the page at serious-humor. Also, I couldn't find a category like blog that fit, except non-governmental organization, which I used as Google said I could create a category that changed the one I had set up with. I never found the things Google told me to look for, so I guess that still needs to be done. Thanks for any help slash suggestions.

Have a blessed life in Christ. Bless. And welcome back. He did it again. I like it. Was that a ramp up? And it was just a real, it sounded like a sports, it sounded like a NASCAR announcer.

What would you call that as a vocal exercise? It's a little bit of a vocal fry. Vocal fry. That's sort of like the easiest way to describe it is like a party girl who talks like this. I don't like that at all. Yeah, it's terrible. But this is a warmup that people do?

It can be. It can be. Some people do and some people don't like it.up that people do it can be it can be some people do and some people don't like it yeah it kind of you have to do it the right way but it'll just get those cords moving real oh okay i see so if you do it there's a right way in a wrong way there definitely is you can you can do some damage if you're doing it wrong well i'm not gonna do it at all then all right we gotta protect those golden pipes. Well, I mean, we're joking, but I do have to talk to people. But also, and I'm really not kidding.

You'd have such a gorgeous timbre to your voice. If only I could carry a tune. You just, you, you, your issue, as you've explained, is that you don't, you don't switch notes. I'm incapable of doing that. Yes. Just sort of stays at a monotone, a lovely tone. Oh, say can you see? Yes.

Right, right. I mean, it's still a lovely tone is what I'm saying. Well, that's nice to hear. But your speaking voice is so pleasant to listen to. And we get all the comments from this. Oh, but you, come on. People stop me on the street and tell me how much they love our show,

but how much your voice is so calming to them. You're pulling my leg. I am not. I'm not. Bad people are not telling you that. All right. Well, we have, we have a guest.

If, if you're, if you're listening for the first time and you're still listening, we here in the town of Dignity Falls, we, we of course, like everybody else in our neighborhood, we have the, the neighbor hap, which is the social networking application.

People can post about their neighborhood, the goings on. And what we do is we scour the neighborhood for guests, uh, for interesting people to bring on. And, uh, and this week is no different. And this week we have someone, uh, who has posted this. Uh, it's rare that we get someone that comes on just to specifically post in the sort of for sale or free section.

I think it's a fun idea. She really wanted to get on here and get this amplified. Here's the post. This comes to us from Sybil and the headline is Old Keys Free. And the body of the post is old keys to nothing anymore can you repurpose these i hate to add to the landfill and sybil has included a picture

of some keys looks to be about five six keys maybe they're one hiding behind there and there's some key ranks which I'm presuming are not included. And here to tell us more is Sybil. Sybil, welcome to the neighborhood. Listen. Oh, she brought the keys. She brought the keys with her. She brought them.

Hi, guys. Hi, Sybil. Hey, Sybil. Why are you calling me a woman? Oh, I'm so sorry, Sybil. You definitely need. We should have. I didn't look up.

I was reading. You were. Doug did not inform me. It was very odd to hear that i'm not sure why you're why you're saying that doug of course does the booking and i guess because the name sybil oh i assumed it was uh is it the sybil thing i think it was the sybil thing yeah generally that has been uh a name a female name but you're right i mean really we should not have assumed. My mother was very fond of the movie Sybil. Uh-huh, okay.

Sally Field. I wondered if it had something to do with that movie. She related to it. That was about someone with multiple- She related to it. Someone with multiple personalities. Multiple personalities or personality- Disorder?

Disorder, yeah, disassociation. And she was always saying that Sybil, she had one over on Sybil because she had more personalities than even sybil did oh boy she had a lot in the movie if i remember correctly that must have been a really rough upbringing she was always like i have at least one more and she but uh did you believe her not to not to call your mother a liar but i believe i believe my mother but not the other people. Oh my goodness. So you really did grow up in a home where there were many... 47 of her personalities were liars.

One was telling the truth. Oh no. Wow. That's like the old riddle. Yeah, I always had to guess every single day. Every single day? Yes, that was how we would start our mornings. Along with calisthenics, of course. Of course. Well, it's like you were a young boy and you're coming down to dinner

or breakfast, I should say. Well, no, we had dinner for first meal in the morning. Probably one of the personalities probably did dinner. We would go backwards. People talk about breakfast for dinner and how much fun that is.

Nobody talked about dinner for breakfast. Nope. Exactly. Nice, big, juicy ribeye steak every single morning. Every morning. Every single morning. Oh, my.

I would get quite backed up. It's a miracle you're still here. Yes, but, and then lunch always took place right in the middle of the day. Sure, so lunch is lunch. As it does, there's nothing to do with lunch.

You can't move it around. It's the fixed point. Swap it with brunch? I don't know. Sundays we would have lunch. Okay. Now is that dessert and lunch or dinner and lunch?

I assume it was dinner and lunch. Okay, okay. So we would have steaks and, of course, sandwiches. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty much wherever lunch and dinner intersect. I love a steak and sandwich. It sounds like you ate a lot of steak is what I'm primarily hearing. It's just a lot of consumption of red meat.

Yeah, full branzino. Full branzino. Full branzino. With the head. Was one of the personalities like an amazing chef? Oh, yeah. Well, that was the wonderful thing about living with my mother. She was a Michelin-starred chef.

Oh, wow. Chef? She was a Michelin-starred chef. Well, that was her name, Chef. Oh. Oh, I see. Yes. So she would have different names, right?

She would name herself. These personalities would name themselves? Or was that your mother's biologically given name? But my grandmother knew that she had all of these personalities and named each one. Oh, she did? Wow. As a child? When your mother was a child?

As a baby. As a baby? She could just tell. This is so bizarre. She came out saying wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. Oh, I see, I see. I see the different, yeah. 47 times. The is so bizarre. She came out saying wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. Oh, I see, I see. I see the different, yeah. 47 times.

The different wahs. The different wahs. Excuse me, I have to readjust. Oh, okay. It's, and I must say, you brought way more keys than are depicted in the picture. I did, I was there. Well, I'm only giving away five. There's keys.

I have several keys. By the way, Doug, here, I got this. This is for you. I got this out of the evidence locker. This is from one of our cold cases. This is some evidence. Doug leaves the evidence room for just one moment. Wait, did you get the evidence room

hours or do you work in... Well, I don't work for the evidence locker. I'm a locker guy. That's why I have so many keys. Oh. What does that mean exactly, a locker guy? Thank you. I rent out lockers to different businesses.

Oh, I see. And you have keys to all of them. I have keys to all of them. That's why, I mean, he's covered in keys. I go around servicing them. He's covered in keys. I mean, you can't see this as the listener, but that's why every time. He's like a key stack.

Every time. Yeah. I have little eyes peeping out. They say about me in Dignity Falls, I have more keys than keys on Van Nuys, which is very... What does that mean? Well, see, there's a local commercial in California.

Oh, I've heard it. Oh, it's so obnoxious. What is it? I have not heard this. If you can believe it, the lyrics are keys, keys, keys, keys on Van Nuys. I mean, do a little more work, people. It's pretty simple.

You know what? You could probably sing it. Keys, keys, keys, keys on Van Nuys. That mean, do a little more work, people. You know what? You could probably sing it. Keys, keys, keys, keys on Van Nuys. That's it. That's literally it. Did I nail it? That's the exact note.

Because it's to the tune of Bob Aran. Oh, I was a Beach Boys. That's the only song you can sing. The only song I can sing. Try Bob Aran. Yeah.

Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob Aran. Brilliant. Perfect. All right, let's book some studio time. I wish Gregorian Chance would come back into fashion. Exactly. Now, in any case, this is a murder weapon from a cold. Whoa.

Wait a minute. Wait. Let me put on my gloves. Oh, God. He's so excited. Is this sterilized? We sterilize all the evidence. That's the first question.

That's why none of the crimes have been solved here. Because they sterilized. They unfortunately sterilized. But everything's been sterilized. Yeah, so no fingerprints. Yes. Just wiped clean. Yes, but anyway, I thought you'd get a kick out of it.

Thank you so much. Sybil, are you allowed to do this? Well, there's nothing in the rule books. It's the old air bug clause. Are you sure to do this? Well, there's nothing in the rule books. It's the old air bug clause. Are you sure about that? Nothing in my contract actually stipulates that I have full access to any of the lockers. Who is your employer?

I'm self-employed. Oh, okay. He drew up his own contract. Including evidence lockers. You drew up your own contract. It's a police station. My company is called Sibbles Bibbles. And then a parenthesis, Bibbles Beans lockers. You drew up your own contract. Yes. The police station. My company is called Sibbles Bibbles. And then a parenthesis, Bibbles Beans Lockers.

Beans? What's that? Bibbles Beans Lockers? Means Lockers. No, means. Where did you get Bibbles Beans Lockers? I don't know. I thought that would be nice. I've been meaning to get into the beans game.

Oh my God. But it's only alliteration. We have a lot of beans. We could use a locker of money. How many beans do you have? We have a bean room. We have a bean room. You do?

Yes, we do. All kinds of beans, bean bags, jelly beans, jumping beans. Are they all in containers or are they loose beans? No, they're not. No loose beans. Zero loose beans? Zero loose beans. Oh, so then he was looking for loose beans because otherwise we don't need his services

because they're already in containers. Right, so you don't need a bean locker. Right. We don't need a bean bibble. Thank you. You're welcome. I just wanted to use it. Bibbles means lockers.

The tricks of the trade, obviously. That sounds amazing. You have a bean room. I would love to see that. Oh, sure. Because I've been meaning to get into the bean game myself. Oh, really? The bean game? Yes. That sounds amazing You have a bean room I would love to see that Oh sure Because I've been meaning To get into the bean game myself Oh really

The bean game Yes Ever since I read that Fascinating Bio Biography Of this person Jack

Who went up a beanstalk Do you mean the fairy tale The fairy tale The biography Well Not sure it was Jack and the beanstalk Yes Right Just sort of a Fictional Non-fictional Yes The biography. Well, not sure it was the... Jack and the Beanstalk, yes.

Right, just sort of a fictional... Non-fictional, yes. Exactly what you said. Non-fictional means non-fictional, I guess. In parentheses. What is it about these five keys that... Oh, yeah. You don't know what they open anymore?

Well, okay. So three of the keys are for lockers that unfortunately don't know what they open anymore? Well, okay. So three of the keys are for lockers that unfortunately don't work any longer. The lockers don't work. The lockers do not work. The keys work to them, but a locker typically has a bottom to it. Typically, yes.

Otherwise, the things fall out onto the ground or into the locker below. And these... The locker below. Well, certainly. There, the things fall out onto the ground or into the locker below. And these... Locker below. Well, certainly. There's always a locker below. Stacking three lockers on top of each other. Sure.

Depending on the locker configuration. Yes, exactly. Not everyone has the tall lockers that you see in professional sports arenas. Right. For sports teams. Occasionally, you stack three. Like at the post office. Oh, sure.

Or a high school. Or a high school. You know, we have those stacked lockers. Sure, sure, sure. We had in my, when I went to high school, we had the long lockers. Oh, you did? And with like a little, little, it was like the long locker, you put your coat in there, and then the little, there was like a little top locker, I guess. A hooker?

No, a hooker. I beg your pardon? I'm sorry. I mean a hook. No, it was another little door. You had another little compartment above the tall locker. We had short, very wide lockers. Really? Yes. They would be about six to eight feet wide.

Like a coffin. They would be probably- Did you say like a puffin? A coffin. Oh, coffin. Yeah, they would be three inches tall. Three inches tall, but eight feet wide. What can you put in there?

I mean, keys? Stack your books up. Stack your skis. Yeah, your skis. You could lay all the books out. I guess you put in there? I mean, skis. Stack your books up. Stack your skis. Yeah, your skis. You can lay all the books out. I guess you could. I grew up in a skiing town. Oh, you did?

Where did you grow up? So you didn't grow up in Dignity Falls? No, no, no, no. I moved here. Yeah, Skeeton is where I came from. Skeeton. Skeeton. Sure.

And I moved here approximately 36 years ago. Oh, okay. But I still have my skis. Uh-huh. I mean, they won't do you much good here. Yeah, okay. But I still have my skis. Uh-huh. I mean, they won't do you much good here. Yeah, not much good. I mean,

every once in a while we get some snow and people ski on the... If you go to the top of Franklin Pierce, yeah, then you can ski all the way down. Or that one parking lot

at the Target on... Is it Clinton? I think so. I tried to ski the Clinton Target. Target parking lot? Yeah, at one point. But by the time I got there, the snow had all melted.

That's what happens. I thought, what is this? Did someone stab someone with an icicle? It was all the puddles. All the puddles, yes. Sure. Which, by the way, I have notes on your script. Oh, okay.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Thanks for reading it. Oh, no problem. Wait, what? You sent a script ahead to our guest? That's really presumptuous, okay. Oh, okay. Yeah. Thanks for reading it. Oh, no problem. Wait, what? You sent a script ahead to our guest? That's really presumptuous, babe. You book...

Wait, have you been sending this to everyone? Oh, yeah. He said that was contingent upon me being on the show. Oh, no. Oh, Sybil, I'm so sorry. This is embarrassing. Why don't you go back in the evidence room? I'll be happy to.

Well, I heard you. Permitting the notes. He wants to hear the notes. Permitting the notes. My major note is that if you are changing the gender of the main character to be L-E-I-G-H, I would then take out all of the dialogue where Lee talks about how he's going to go home and play with his penis. That's the difficulty. That's what I was trying to explain to Joan home and play with his penis. That's the difficulty. That's what I was trying to explain to John.

Yeah, exactly. Right, because that's integral to Lee's character. Every scene is part of it. I have never understood that detail. You have to understand motivation for the character. So he goes to these corrupt officials, and he says, this was a murder, and they say, you're crazy, Lee.

And then he goes, well, I'm going to go home and play with my penis. Well, he threatens them and says, I'm going to go home and play with my penis. Well he said first he threatens them and says I'm going to get to the bottom of this. I thought the scene should end there. But he tags it. I'm going to go home and play with my penis. He thinks it's his version of Columbo's just one more thing.

He thinks he's going to leave and then he comes back and says that. He does start to leave and then comes back. Yes he comes back. I'm going to go home and play with my penis. It makes it tough because if too much to go home and play with my penis. It makes it tough because if too much time goes by without playing with his penis,

he starts to really go It's like Kiefer Sutherland in 24 when he had to go to the bathroom. Yes. By the way, didn't Steve Jobs steal that from Columbo?

By the way, one more thing. Didn't he? I suppose so. I suppose so. Columbo should sue. Columbo definitely said it first.

I mean, not of all people in the world, but in all of should sue Columbo definitely said it first I mean not not of all people in the world but in all of human history but he definitely said it best he said it best I think he said it best

do you think Jesus ever said it I don't know if Jesus just one more thing one more thing when he was doing the commandments

he did nine commandments and then he was like by the way just one more thing I think that was Moses actually I'm not a biblical scholar but

that's fair. Sibyl's God is there. I mean, well, it was God. Blessing of the people. Oh, there's one more thing. But Moses was really the messenger, right? What's that? Moses was really the messenger, right?

Moses was the messenger, but I don't think it was... So what we really need to say is God. Yes, God. All right. Don't kill the messenger, but you're not allowed to kill. It's good that one was in there. It sure was. Phew.

That's why he said it first. Oh, okay. So getting back to the keys that you're giving away. Yes, yes. So three are for lockers that don't have bottoms. Okay, but then,

but what do you expect people to do with them if not to, if not to use them for these lockers since the lockers don't work? I'm hoping people don't notice, first of all, but... Don't notice. these lockers since the lockers don't work i'm hoping people don't notice first of all but uh don't notice don't notice that the lockers don't have bodies well you just mentioned it so i don't know oh mistake number one

but uh why not keep them in uh i don't smelt is that the word into a different key because if you seem to use keys all the time why can't you, aren't you ever in need of material to make new keys? Look, I'm a key guy. I'm not a re-key guy. Oh, okay. I got it. That's a whole different You're hoping that the person accepting these keys, they will do that. They'll repurpose them as you say in your post. I don't care what

they do with them. If they want to melt them down and turn them into a sword of sorts. I don't want to hold your feet to the fire on this, Lee, or Sybil, but I believe you did say, why would you call me Lee? It's sticking. You do say,

can you repurpose these? Yes. Repurpose them into, no, I don't necessarily mean into keys. But you said you don't care what they do. I don't care what they do with them. I merely bring it up as, can you?

Not will you. It's like, is it even possible? But how does just taking five keys off of your purse and really help anything? I mean, does that even make a dent with all the, and you have only, it does. Wow, Aston answered. It really was. When you deal with bib, Aston answered. It really was.

When you deal with bibbles like I do... Lockers. Lockers. You have so many keys and you just get a feeling for how many keys are on your body at every single time. Right. And to have five extra, that doesn't seem like a lot to you. It does not. It just feels like I'm weighed down by these five keys constantly. Yes. I mean, I suppose it's like

a whale eating krill. Anything. Anything. Keys. Whale eating keys. I meant specifically. It's like a whale eating keys. Or like a key eating a whale.

Oh, come on. I don't think. No, we're. Could a keel eat a whale so big that it couldn't eat it? Could a keel eat a whale so big it couldn't eat it? How much keel could a whale-key keel of a wheel cake could kill a whale? I'm abandoning my thought now. We've gone into silly territory. Well, I don't know.

Sybil's bringing it out at me. It's kind of fun. Well, I'm glad you're having fun, Josh. I am having fun. But here's, I do have still so many questions. Yes. One is, do you know at this moment how many lockers you were actually in charge of? Or Bibbles?

Yeah, let's see. Let's see. I have about 5,000 over at the local skating rink. 5,000 at the skating rink? Alone. They really overestimated how many people were going to be visiting their business. I always wonder why it seems so big from the outside. Then when you're in there, it's pretty small.

I know, most of it is a locker room. Yeah, and I guess behind a wall somewhere, there's just thousands of lockers. Yeah, exactly. 5,000. But they are all in use. Oh, I mean, I hope so. But you said you rent them.

I rent them, yes. Are they all rented out right now? I rent them to the business. I don't rent them to the specific people going to the businesses. Although I would love them to the specific people going to the businesses. Although I would love to work that side of the business as well. I'm constantly trying to. So far, you don't do individual locker rentals.

No. I see. I feel like that would be a little too much on my plate. Oh, well, I figure. Yeah, I get that. To go to every business I rent the lockers to. Absolutely. I know what you're saying.

Why don't these people just, why don't these businesses just buy the lockers? I was wondering that. It's a rent to own situation. Especially when you're doing it in the thousands. Yes, and it was already built into the ring. Could you buy 5,000 lockers? Could I?

Yes. On my salary? I don't know. I haven't priced lockers lately. I don't even know how much it costs to rent one. Of course, you don't individually rent them out to individuals, as you said. You're hoping that the markup on the rental to individual people is about 500%. I'm just confused on the business model. Yeah. So it costs about 10 cents to make one of these lockers.

Really? Yeah. 10 cents. Well, you know what? For the fact that the bottom falls out so easily, now I'm not surprised. True. Is that including the little vents?

Vents are extra, obviously. What are the vents even for? Well, I was going to ask you. I don't even know. Who's going to ask you? Is it only for when someone pushes you into one so you don't die? I guess it's new that people were going to push each other

into the foresight. It's amazing. It really is. It's a lot like your precog kind of thing. Yes. I mean, yours was better than mine. Were you going around to high schools trying to see if bullies were pushing people into lockers?

No, they need that. They need that. No. I'm burnt. Why are you calling me Doug? I was asking Doug if he's a bully. He's not here anymore. He can hear you, but he's not in the room.

He can hear you. Why is he talking? He went back. That's the question I have every episode. Oh, now come on. I'm kidding. Of course. We're having fun.

I'm having fun too. Okay, good. So, no, Doug was not a bully. Are you kidding? He was absolutely just the mildest. We knew each other. We dated in high school. I mean, we've been together forever.

High school sweethearts. High school sweethearts. You did take two years off, though. Yes. Which two? Sophomore and senior. So we were on freshman, off sophomore, on junior. And you did find me in a locker that one time.

That was our meet cute. Oh, wow. Our meet cute was he was pounding on the inside. And I really didn't use my locker in high school. I used my car. I just loved that. You know, you just tossed everything in the car. And that way, like you could sort of hang out with the girls.

Did you just drive your car onto the campus right next to your locker? No, I just sort of like would run out. You know, that old dig high. Yeah. Old dig high was before the remodel was just really small. And the parking lot, because I know you didn't go here. Now it's so big. It's so huge. It's huge's huge so many lockers do you have lockers over there are you in charge of the lockers at no unfortunately that's my competitor oh it's such a big high school i really wanted that contract okay sure it's so there is someone else in in this town

that is your rival yeah who is that pocker pockerocker. Pocker? Pocker. Pocker. Oh, Pocker's Locker. Of course, yes. You've seen his side. Right. And who had a business first, you or Pocker? Pocker did, obviously. Pocker did, yes. And so, he set the template. Sure. I mean, he was already going by the time he got here. That's why I

call it Sibbles Bibbles. It's a real David Goliath situation, man. You were really going up against the locker giant. Yes. Absolutely. So that's a great contract because that

high school, Old Digg High is now the first high rise high school in America. Yeah, it is. It's true. 38 stories. The auditorium is on

the top, which is such an odd choice. Most of the population of the town goes to that school. Yes. Well, they all had to re-en Most of the population of the town goes to that school. Yes. Well, they all had to re-enroll because otherwise their tax dollars would go to waste. Because there's just not that many students.

You're right, but there's also like 40, there's also like four floors that just belong to Russian oligarchs. They were just rented out. And the Japanese businessmen would buy several condominiums. There's a capsule hotel on one floor. Yeah. Several condominiums. There's a capsule hotel on one floor. And it's also the top rotates, which is so interesting. Which is the auditorium, which is terrible when you're doing a show.

I don't understand why they don't stop for it. Yeah, because it's too fast. It is too fast. Usually it's, you know, maybe you'll make one rotation an hour, but it's going like one every minute. Like you have to really jump to get on that floor or you're dead. Yeah.

It's a lot like going to a carnival. That's why pretty much every year all I can do is carousel. Carousel, it's the only show that makes sense. It's the only show they do. It's a terrible show. But they do what, you know, we've talked about before

where they do carousel set in, you know, at a saint asylum or they do carousel. That's all, you know. Carousel but werewolves. Different into carousel but werewolves. Werewasol. Werewasol, yes, exactly. Werewasol. Maybe just wereasol. I don't remember.

I thought you were trying to say werewasol. Oh! I don't know. I don't think I was trying to say that. I was trying to remember the name of werewasol. Aerosol. Aerosol. Parasol. Are we just doing words?

That's rhyming. Are we playing password? Have you ever thought of passwords for your lockers? Well, see, that's the future, I think. Passwords. Thumbprints. Oh, yes. You know what?

Because who here and who listening hasn't forgotten their locker combination. My God. And all the spinning back and forth. It used to drive me crazy. I remember mine. Oh, you do. What do you do?

Well, I'm not going to tell you. Do you currently own a locker? I, would you like to, I do have a locker. Oh, I think he's pitching you right now.

I think I do like 5,000 lockers. There's a, that's more than I need. Uh, uh, thank you. I's more than I need. Thank you. I mean, if I thought of it before the go bags, then yes, I probably would have taken up on some portion of those.

But as it stands now, I do not need to go lockers. Then you don't have to. I'm not saying go lockers. I'm not going on lockers necessarily, although I should. The old Dig mascot. Go lockers. The mascot was lockers because there were I should. The old Dig mascot. Go lockers. The mascot was lockers because there were so many of them. And I remember they built a suit. It was like three lockers across.

For the guy who had run out? Yeah. That was a very strange costume. And it was made of heavy aluminum and I felt bad for that kid. Yeah. But he did have the vents, so that's good. But it was rusty. It was very rusty because they played a lot of games in the rain. Rusty vents, that'll get you everything.

Rusty bibbles. It was so embarrassing when his door opened, flapped open. And he was nude under there. And he was nude under there. I guess it was hot in there. Yeah. Because speaking of temperatures, I am a little weirded out by the fact that there are 5,000 lockers in a very cold storage, if you will, place. Right.

What's everybody using those lockers for? That kind of makes me nervous. What if someone's... Because you know what? If I was a criminal and I needed to store, I don't know, like a body part or get rid of one, I'd put it in a cold locker. Oh, yeah. When I said cold case, I didn't mean that the room

is actually cold. Well, I thought because it was at the skating rink. Am I wrong? The roller skating rink? They do keep it a little bit cold. I thought it was at the skating rink. You're talking about the roller rink. No, no, no, no, no. I thought you meant the skating rink as well. Pockets has the ice skating rink. Pockets has, Pockers has the

ice skating rink. Pockers. Pockets Lockets? Pockets Lockets. That's the jewelry store. Yes. That is Y-phones. Yes. They have a kiosk there. That's right. They have that contract. But I am working on, to your point, Doug, I am working on some new technology where you don't have to recall your combination. I'm working on eye recognition.

Oh, cool, like a retinal scan. Yeah, a retinal scan. You put your eye up to the locker and it opens up if you're the person. I'm working on that technology right now. Oh, that's cool. I like that. It is. I don't know how to do it. Well, you say you're working on it.

That's the major stumbling block. Just coming up with the idea is where you've gotten so far. I'm at that point. That's the work you put in. I want to do this. You want to do it, so you're working on it.

I'm working on it. Have you tried researching it online? On what? Oh, wait a minute. On the internet? Look, I'm a key guy. I'm not an internet guy. Do you consider yourself more a key guy or a locker guy?

Oh, that's a good question. Which came first? Unfortunately, if I'm successful at the retinal scan, I won't be a key guy anymore so and then I'll have so many keys to give away thousands and thousands of keys so that's that's the I consider myself a

key guy it's it's interesting I've gotten more into the lockers I see I have just so why isn't it kibbles and then parentheses kibbles well bibbles means keys. No, kibbles is taken off. Well, bibbles means lockers.

So you think I need to change the word? You're saying to change it to kibbles? To mean keys. Oh, I see. But it doesn't need to start with the same letter that the other word starts with because you see bibbles means lockers. So kibble has such a connotation already is making you

think already a dog. So it has to be like pibbles. Oh, no, it's making you think that's why if you're trying to break the code sir, B is equal to L. So you slide the alphabet over to that. Wow, this is so for keys it would be a able

Oh, wow, that doesn't work. I don't think it doesn't work. That's why that's why that's why it's not going to happen. That's why it's not going to happen.ables. Oh, wow. That doesn't work. It doesn't work. That's why it's not going to happen. That's why it's not going to happen. Sure, sure, sure. I'm sorry. I do want to go back to his upbringing.

Oh, yes. Good call. Because, I mean, we kind of skipped over this fascinating life that you lived. Your mother had multiple personalities. She was so obsessed with the movie Sybil. Of course, because for you, you thought that everyone had a mother with many personalities. Oh, sure. Because when we grow up, we just think what we experience is what everyone experiences.

But that's not true. But it's not true. I would feel sorry for other children who only had one mother. It's a lot like growing up in a divorced family. Heather had two mommies. That's true. That's a good point. Yes.

But that's 45 less than I had. Very true. Did you have siblings? Was it just or? No, it was too confusing because my name was Sybil. So she said, I got to give this up. I'm not having any more children. It would just be too confusing.

You wouldn't have like an a-bling? But did you have a father? I hope that's not too brusque a question. It really came out there, but it was my question too. She's getting into personal territory. Oh, sorry. We don't need to, what I always explain is

I never mean to put our guests on the spot, but we really do invite people here and we're interested in people and I always do try to get to the, you know, I'm an empath. I always try to get to the bottom. Joan is an empath, yes. Yes.

You're an empath. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, okay. How am I feeling now? I think you're feeling. Oh, you're an empath? Name three emotions. I'm kidding. That, really? Yeah. Oh, okay. How am I feeling now? I think you're feeling... Oh, you're an empath? Name three emotions.

I'm kidding. Happy, sad, angry? Popular meme. Bert doesn't, you know, he doesn't like it when I sort of ask him about how he's feeling. So he has a reaction to that. But I thought you were feeling... What I thought is you were feeling a little bit on the defensive. Well, I never knew my father. But maybe a little bit sad.

You didn't. No, no. I have, unfortunately, I have facial recognition issues. Oh. So. You have face blindness? Face blindness, exactly. So I never knew my father.

There was a man who. There was a man there. Who was there every day, who would go to work every morning and come back. But I didn't know who that was. Like every time you saw him, you were like. Who are you? Okay. Oh, you were like, okay. Oh, you're Joan.

Even though it's just a facial recognition thing, you couldn't in any other way sort of intellectually understand he was your father? Well, I thought I was going to get daredevil senses, where all the rest of my senses, the other four, what are the other four senses? You thought you would get heightened face touch, face smell. Face smell. Face hearing. And he did have a smelly face. He did?

Yes. He smelled like onions and lemon juice most of the time. Oh, boy. Onions and lemon juice. That's really a bad combination. It's good on Branzino. Sorry? It's good on Branzino.

Great on Branzino. Terrible on faces. Okay. That should be the slogan for Terrible on faces. Okay. But. That should be the slogan for onions and lemon juice. Sure. I'm trying to get into that as a condiment, by the way. Really?

Onions and lemon. Onions and lemon juice just to honor my. Like a real sort of. Like a Newman's own type thing. Yes, exactly. But would your mother ever tell you this man is your father? Oh, all the time. But I just didn't know who he was.

Right. But that would indicate that you, again, just because you can't recognize him, you couldn't think, oh, every day, this is the man who is my father. I just don't recognize his face. Or would it just take over? You would just absolutely think there was a stranger in a room every day. I would think there was a stranger in the room. I mean, it was a very disorienting childhood to have 47 different mothers.

Yes, and then no father. And then this man in the house all the time that was just constantly walking into the room. How was their relationship with the two of them? Well, he, with the 48 of them. Yes, sorry, sorry, the 48 of them. Wait, did he have a relationship with all of them? Oh yeah, he was cheating on 46 of my mothers at a time.

So two were okay with it. Two were all right with it, but two were in an open relationship. Oh, boy. Boy, that is really complicated. It was terrible. Okay, so no siblings. You grew up in Ski Town. Skeeton.

Skeeton, sorry. What made you move here? What made you come here? Well, Dignity Falls is just in ski town. And then what made you... Skeeton. Skeeton, sorry. What made you move here? What made you come here? Well, Dignity Falls is just a wonderful town. No skiing, unfortunately. Can't argue with that. I'm not taking it.

I heard there was water skiing here, but unfortunately there are no water in this town, which I think is very... No, it is. It's just they hooked up a whinge to the big downtown fountain. And so all it is is you can get on skis and you just go in a circle just around and around. It's like a roundabout in a way.

But you constantly have to yield to the skier. Babe, you can explain a whinge better. I'm having trouble explaining it without it. Just a visual. Oh, without a visual because he made you go away. You do the visual. I'll describe what you're doing. Okay, he's elongating his hands almost as if he's

trying to say stretch like we need to fill time. Oh, I see. He's breaking the noodles. Now he's pulling a tightrope taut so that the person in the carnival and the circus can... And now he's pulling a tightrope yeah uh taught so that the uh the the person in the carnival and the circus can and now and now he's miming so what he's explaining is is something that they'll do at water parks a lot uh water um uh what is it wakeboard parks right where if you don't have a

boat it's almost like the little many of us do the little turn this through it's a privileged thing to have um you know when you sort of did the little turtle pole or the bunny pole when you were a kid, when you were skiing and skating, you know, that little sort of pulley, you'd hang onto it and it would take the little kids up. You're asking me to co-sign this and I'm just shaking my head no.

You don't remember. Oh, because you're a skier. I thought that you would remember. But these terms mean nothing to you. Okay. No, I'm so sorry. Okay. It was like a pulley that you'd hang

on to and it would just slowly take you up we were free skis okay right but how did you get up to the top of the hill as kids we had to climb okay you ran up that hill yeah yeah you did i don't know what that's referring to well let me tell you stranger things by the way. Yes. I love it. Bert loves it. I love it. I love it too. The Demi Gorgon. It's the song I'm told that the redheaded girl uses to not die. I haven't gotten that far. Oh, whoops, sorry.

Redheaded girl. Oh no, are you only on season one? Minute one of season one. I love it. You love it and yet you stopped, right? I just keep re-watching that. I'm closing in on the third episode. Oh, wait a minute.

It's too scary to watch. You said it wasn't scary. I've been watching. Well, I was trying to say it wasn't scary for you, but then you remember I called out from fright. Oh, that's right. From fright. It is very frightening. All right. Well, that's not too old business. So, Sybil,

how would you, how can people get these keys from you? Oh, man, I would prefer that they come to me But I'm worried that I'm going to have to go to them Why? I don't think That it's a problem To sort of leave them outside

Where do you live? No, I'm paralyzed with crippling social anxiety Oh, I see Well, you're doing very well here Yeah, it's really, really loose I never would have guessed that It has taken me two weeks to get up the courage to walk into this room social anxiety. Oh, I see. Well, you're doing very well here. Yeah, it's really, really loose. I cannot tell you. It has taken me two weeks to get up the courage to walk into this room. Wow.

Do you like some new print? I wouldn't take that. No, no, no. Don't say yes. It's not what you think it is. Really? That box says newer print. Right. It's like a Dutch... Yeah. A Dutch holding company. Is it a paralytic by chance? It is. He can't move when he takes it

oh well maybe something you're already paralyzed you don't need that yes you're already weighed down by the keys is this a situation i wonder i was hoping yes i was hoping you would take the keys off of me is that is that possible just the five oh just the five i know that doug really wants it so he can pretend so he can admit them into evidence. Yes. Let me ask you this. Oh, yeah. If we do take the keys and we just throw them in the trash, is that a problem?

Oh, I wouldn't like that. I need to know they're going to a good home. You don't want to contribute to the landfill, so you just want these keys to be passed around. I could throw them into a trash. I have a theory. What I'm getting from Sybil is, and go with me Bert, I don't know if this is crazy, but it is almost. Well, if it's crazy, I'm not going to go with you.

But even if even just the sound of the jingling, you know, seeing him in this sort of suit of keys, if you will, it's almost giving me like a Jacob Marley feeling. Oh, he wears that. He wears the keys that he forged. Is he the Rastafarian? No, I knew that was, I figured he was going to say that.

The Rastafarian who became so popular? No, that is Bob Marley that you're thinking of. Correct, yes. Robert? Also not to be confused with the comedian Bob Marley. Oh. Who's that? Stand-up white man who's a stand-up comedian.

Okay. And his name happens to be Bob Marley. Did two people confuse them? I didn't know that was a problem. I'm sure he has jokes about it. He probably does. It must be difficult for IMDb to differentiate

between the two. I guess I would go on to both of their IMDb pages and be like, hmm, anything reggae involved on this person? Do you know what? Speaking of IMDb.

No, just Netflix specials. We're getting very close to having more movies about Marilyn Monroe than Marilyn Monroe was ever in. Isn't that the truth? We're getting very close.

And musicals. There's already two in the works. One of them, I assume is bombshell. Correct. And another one is called who killed Marilyn Monroe? Fun. Yeah.

So Jacob Marley, simple was a fictional character in Christmas Carol. You ever heard of Christmas Carol? Classic, classic Christmas story. I've heard of Carol. Okay. The movie about the friends. It's so

odd that he's heard about the Cate Blanchett movie Carol and not a Christmas Carol. A beloved global phenomenon. Have you seen the film Carol? I've seen the first minute of it. Oh, the first minute. Okay. Well, the idea

about Jacob Marley was he was a businessman right and he only cared about about the money and the and i relate right right and and he was so caught up in his business and so in sounds great in death he was forced to carry the lock boxes and the chains of the he's getting excited about this i don't like the concept of death well okay good i really enjoy i was enjoying this story up till then it's more like he's haunted by all of this he's taken on his business like literally on his person which is what i see you've done you've taken your business on your person you're loaded down by these keys and they're very heavy yes but i feel like the keys are symbolic of something else burt that's what i'm getting at yeah what are they what well simple Yeah, what are they? Well, Sybil, tell us.

What are they symbolic of? What are they symbolic of? You're really putting them on the spot. I was just saying that. It is expedient for my business to have them on me at all times. Otherwise, I have to go home several times. No, but you said it paralyzes you.

That's not healthy. The ones on my back are so that if you see me coming, obviously you're like, oh boy, here's the locker guy. The bibble guy. The bibble guy. The bibble guy. But if I'm walking away and so many people are like, hey, you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.

You're going to have to go, but I'd love to watch you leave. Because you're hanging out in bars a lot? Oh, yeah. Okay. But social anxiety is not a problem in that situation. No, no. Well, I only go from 1.50 a.m. to 2 a.m. To closing time?

Yeah. So I don't have to talk to too many people. Sure, that makes sense. But it's to advertise my business. When people are at their worst and their ugliest. If you have so many lockers that you're renting that you are literally covered in keys, do you still need to advertise?

That is a very good question. Well, I don't want Parker to get all my business, you know, because I don't have any advertising budget. It's just for the keys on my back. I'm imagining everyone who's rented these lockers, they have their own copies of keys. So these are just your copies in case they lose them. These are for the top keys

to unlock the lockers from to unmoor them from the walls. I'm lost. So these are... Screwdrivers? You could do it with a screwdriver, several people have said. But I prefer the unbreakable...

It's a kind of key. So, you mean when you rent a locker, you have to... This is what Johnny Drew Driver has told me several times. Oh, Johnny Drew Driver. I haven't heard that name in years. Me neither.

Drew Driver, Screwdriver. I think Doug has an old t-shirt. Oh, you have one of those vintage Drew Drivers? Yes. I told him to sell it on eBay because I think it would go for a lot. Drew Driver, Screwdriver, then a parenthesis, Screwdriver, Smith-Tambers. Yes. It was a very confusing business.

I told him. You told him to his face. I told him to his face. What did he do? He punched me in the business. I told it. You told him to his face. I told him to his face. What did he do? He punched me in the gut. Houdini style. Were you ready? No, no.

He's got those keys. He was covered in keys. Sure. It's a lot like getting shot, but then a Bible stops the bullet. Yeah, but it's a bibble in this case. Yes, exactly. Thank you.

That's how I got the idea. So first... So wait a minute. I never wanted to get into this business. Oh, what happened? What happened? And then I saw a movie where someone got shot in the chest and the Bible stopped it.

Can I ask, was it the first minute of the movie? It was the first... No, of course. It was an exciting opening scene. Sure. It was probably Batman. Was it like a Batman?

It was Batman. Yeah. It was the.... Was it like a Batman? It was Batman. Yeah. It was the... I wish there wasn't so much Bible stuff in the Batman movies. It was the 1966 Adam West Batman. He immediately gets shot in the chest by the Joker. That's right. And a Bible stops him.

Luckily, Batman had his Bat Bible. Bat Bible, yes. And it was shot. And then he and Robin go to church immediately after that. Yes. And they say... Hey, old chum, let's pray. Give thanks to our Lord, Father God. Right. And that's where the whole sort of like,

holy Bible Batman came. Just saying holy for everything. That's why they do it. That's how it started. So I saw that and I was like, oh man, this gives me a great idea for a business. I'm going to rent out Bibbles. And then I work backwards

from there. You can see the progression from there. Of course, of course. You really can connect the dots. So when you had the thought of going to rent out Bibbles, you were thinking Bibles. What? Are you talking to me? Yes, I am. And you are Burnt, right?

Oh, no. Is he not recognizing your face? Oh, yeah. I've been here the whole time. Oh, Burnt! Yes, it's me. So wonderful to meet you. So when you thought I'm going to rent out Bibbles, you were originally going to rent out Bibles. Yes, but I mispronounced it.

Because, you see, I'd only read the word Bible. Yes, of course. So I thought it was pronounced Bibbles. This is the passive vocabulary. Exactly. When people say Mieselt and they don't realize it's pronounced misled. Right. Oh, interesting.

Yes. Or Segway instead of Segway. Seg pronounced misled. Right. Oh, interesting. Yes. Or segue instead of segue. Segue. Right. It should be segue though. I think that sounds wonderful. I know. So many words should be pronounced different ways.

Don't you agree? Give me four more. Yeah, like a gaffe. Yeah. Gaffay. Gaffay. What about hat? Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. I'm a little bit of a question about the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the So wait, can I go back to one detail That I still have a question about

So you said the keys are to Unmoor the lockers from Like a boat in a slip I'm confused about what Why would a boat be wearing a slip Oh sorry A slip means I think I'm figuring out a new kink

That I have A boat in a slip Getting my juices going Sexy nighty out a new kink that I have. Oh, that you have? A boat in a slip. Those ideas. Getting my juices going. Those ideas really got you. A sexy nightie? Oh, wow. I mean, hey, whatever, whatever.

Like a long Ebeneezer Scrooge hat? See, now how do you know Ebeneezer Scrooge? You didn't know Christmas Carol. How do you know that? I know him as a reference, of course. You have no idea who Jacob Marley is. But you know what Scrooge wears to bed.

Now that I call, I'm calling his bluff. So I don't mean to. Oh, no. That's good. Blue face. I thought this would happen. Anyways, yes. A boat in a slip is turning you on.

That's great. Whatever floats your boat in a slip, I guess. Literally, yes. A slip is just a place where you dock a boat is all I meant. Living in Dignity Falls, I, of course, don't know what this is because there's no water. We used to have a big, big lake. It was one of the Great Lakes. Yes.

And then- Just last year. Just last year. They rezoned. That's right. They rezoned and then they drained it. Yeah. And they auctioned off pails of the water.

Yeah. And now it's a skateboard ramp. Yes, it's the biggest one in America. It was Lake Superior, wasn't it? Well, it was Lake Superior. Now it's Skate Superior. And now it's Skate Superior. But Lake Superior,

the Great Lake now, used to be called Lake Joe. Right, yes. And then they got Superior after it was no longer around. the Great Lake now used to be called Lake Joe. Right. Yes. And then they got Superior after it was no longer. And everyone's showing up to skate Superior with their ice skates.

They don't know exactly what type of skating thing it is. Yes. We have all kinds of skating in Dignity Falls. We've got the roller rink and the ice rink and the skateboard rink

and skate Superior. I'm hoping to get that contract. Oh, that would be so wonderful. Oh, they have a lot of lockers at skate Superior? So many lockers. Oh, I didn't know that skaters really needed, I thought you just get that contract. Oh, that would be so wonderful. Oh, they have a lot of lockers at Skate Superior? So many lockers. Oh, I didn't know that skaters really needed,

I thought you just showed up with your skateboard and why would you need to put your skateboard in a locker? For your snacks. Textbooks. How to skate.

Skating for dummies? Yes, exactly. I think a lot of this is so insulting, that book series. They really are. You're tacitly agreeing with their premise that you are dumb.

I'm a dummy. Sell me a book skating for smart people. Exactly. I'll be interested. Yeah, skate for cool people who can't be bothered. Exactly. So, okay. Well, I guess I'm just not going to get my answer on this unmooring of the lockers.

And that's okay. That's okay. So, there's some place in the wall where you can stick a key and it'll make the locker come off the wall? Exactly. Like there's a secret door and then they move forward like a panel or the lockers just already... Like an army that is moving

forward to try to overtake a castle. Oh. With a battering ram. A phalanx of lockers. Yes, a phalanx. Like a Spartan. A phalanx of walkers. Yes, a phalanx. Like a Spartan. A phalanx. Right.

That's how you'd like it pronounced. That's another tricky one to say. Uh-huh, phalanx. You sort of had a little British accent there. Oh, you did. Oh, is that- Like a phalanx. Did you-

It's almost like you have a- Like a Tiny Tim kind of thing? Wait a minute. How do you know Tiny Tim? I mean, I understand he was also- Do you mean- The singer Okay. All right. I guess he did kind of sound like Tiny Tim. Was he British or was he American, Tiny Tim? It's hard to tell. He was just high voiced. Through the tulips. Right. Now that one doesn't work. Well, I don't know.

I guess I feel like we should take the keys, but I think Doug would like to use them. Yes, Doug would like to use them. And I have no problem with that. So much. For evidence, I'll scan it for fingerprints. I imagine yours. Scan it! What scanner do you have, Doug?

I put them through the newest HP scanner. Oh, you literally just... You're going to find a lot of my fingerprints on these. They're unfortunately very greasy. Are you going to commit a crime? Am I going to commit a crime? That will help me in my... I believe I may.

Oh, no. This is my chance. Hey! You did it. Don't do that. He's stopping you. Okay, I won't. Problem solved.

I feel good. Is that what you should? I got to do one. Full circle. See, you make a good team. Okay, Doug. All right, Doug, I'll let you have these keys. As long as you promise that you're not going to put them in the trash.

Or an ash can or a waste paper bucket. Not a waste paper bucket. Waste paper bucket. Waste paper bucket. Waste paper bucket. Now he's a Southern lawyer. Absolutely. I'm banning myself with that.

Promise I'll keep these keys forever. Forever? Forever. Forever ever? Forever ever? Forever ever. I actually believe him. He's going to have

a great time labeling them. We can have a locker room. Oh boy. Doodah, doodah. I would love to rent you some lockers. I will rent 5,000 lockers.

What? We don't have that room. And I will rent 5,000 more. I have a verbal contract. And I will rent 5,000 more. You all heard it. Just to be the man who rents us 5,000 lockers.

Duh, Langda. Da Langda? No, Da Langda. Oh, okay. Balagda, of course, something else. That was one of my mothers. Oh, Balagda. Balagda, yes.

Well, I mean, thank you for coming and sharing your story with us. I mean, you're an interesting person, Sybil. And, you know, that's what we like to talk to is interesting citizens of Dignity Vault. Yes. And I think you are by far one of the most interesting ones we have met. Truly. That's such a nice thing to hear. Well, I think you need to hear nice things because I do feel like there's maybe some loneliness.

You just think I need to hear it? No, no, no. It's both. It's both. You are interesting and you do need to hear it? No, no, no. It's both. It's both. You are interesting and you do need to hear it. Yes. And you're weird.

And you need to hear that. Oh, dear. I didn't think this. I didn't think I was weird. No, I mean, we've never said this to a guest before, but you're weird and the way you're living your life

should be different. Oh, wait, Bert. I don't know if we want to send him out with that. Ouch. With that. Well, I don't know if we want to send him out with that. Well, I don't know, Joe. I just feel like I'm going to go kill myself. No, no, no, no, no.

Let's not. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. All right. Bert, honestly, listen. Bert lives with a ventriloquist dummy named Connie. I mean, and sometimes I think that's weird. So we all have things. I guess.

Sometimes. I guess. guess no all the time. Yeah, you always seem to. You just sometimes say it. What? No, she brings it up quite a lot. Okay. I'm just trying to show that we all have our little things, you know, we all have our little things. It's true. This man just said some serious. I need to get him okay. I need

him in a good place to go out the door. I'm spiraling. Oh gosh. Sybil, please come back to us. I apologize. I was, I don't know what maybe it's low pressure. You know how hard this was for me. It took him two weeks. He stood outside my door for two weeks. I know. He got here early.

He didn't have the courage to knock on the door. He got here early. I apologize. From the bottom of my heart, I'm deeply sorry. And I hope you can... What's that, father? No. Oh, wait. Oh, dear. I mean, I bottom of my heart. I'm deeply sorry. And I hope you can. What's that, father? No. Oh, wait. Oh, dear.

I mean, I don't think so. That would be a twist. But yeah, I do apologize, Sybil. I apologize. I accept your apology. But I don't forget. He forgets a face, but not a slight. Fair enough.

Fair enough. I don't have apology blindness. Well, best of luck to you. I think I'm going to say. Why are you saying that with a question mark at the end? Like it's not going to happen. I mean, it's working out. The keys are being taken care of.

My life's wonderful now. Okay, great. Good. That's all you needed. That was the one thing you wanted to do. The one thing to have a perfect life. Well, then great.

I'm so glad we could help you. Yes. And if we do ever need a locker we'll let we'll let you know not just one i that's right it's bulk yeah yeah it starts the minimum minimum is five thousand minimum is five thousand okay well we won't be seeing you again but thank you for thank you for being here sybil and we'll be right back with more of The Neighborhood Listen. Hey, everybody. It's Robin. I got four free flashlights. It's hard to say.

Four free flashlights. Four free flashlights. Four free flashlights. Shut up. I got four free flashlights. Girl Scouts or Boy Scouts, kids groups, parties need flashlights. These are available. You need to supply the batteries.

What do I look like? A goddamn radio shack. Should I start? Oh, no, don't. He's looking for, I'm waiting for five minutes. It hasn't been that. Well, well, well, maybe somebody, I didn't realize. No, don't. He's. Looking for. I'm waiting for five minutes. Okay. It hasn't been that. Well, well, well, maybe somebody I didn't realize I was looking for a post and I didn't realize that we had been rolling and no one said anything.

I didn't really know either. I'm really sorry. Thank you, Joan. I'm sorry. When we talked about my signals and gestures last time. Yeah, I felt humiliated. Oh. So now I've just stayed silent.

Babe, I've never heard you really kind of stand up for yourself like this. Also in the podcast, it's a little awkward. I didn't like it either. We all agree that we did not like it. Yeah, please don't do that again. I think we've seen that it's what not to do. So, Burt, I almost called you babe isn't that funny

i suppose hey are you um am i sensing some are you upset about me bringing up the connie thing to try to make no i try to make us you know feel better i think i think i was a little self-conscious in the moment and then i'm sorry when i know it's okay it's okay because you're absolutely correct that uh we all have our weirdnesses and and you know uh uh connie i i guess because i repaired his jaw i i think it's not as weird as it was um and i've taken him out of the window he's not in the window anymore yes yes um uh you know that that i eventually uh i i you know i had to acknowledge that several people in the building wrote letters to appeal to me to take them out of the window. And so I have.

I don't know what they care. It's not like we own our apartments. I know. What do you care? Okay. Does Connie enjoy Stranger Things with you? Now, Doug, I'm in a specific position right now because I don't know. Are you implying that I think Connie is alive or are you saying that you think Connie is alive?

I think it's the latter. Oh, here we go back to this word again. I used it last time. The word alive? No, latter. I think it's the second one that you mentioned. So, Doug, Connie is not sentient. He's made out of uh uh plastic and rubber

no wood in there no he's a more modern dog i always picture a very howdy doody old wooden right this is this is like a sears catalog sort of uh wish list um you know a replica of the the charlie mccarthy famous, right, right. Okay, got it. I think a wood one probably would cost a pretty penny. Oh, I guess so. If they're still making them. Pretty pennies? Hey, you know what?

If we're going to get rid of the penny, let's keep the pretty ones. Can we? Don't you love getting a nice shiny penny? I think they should get rid of the dirtiest pennies. Oh, they're just blah. Then we can just pass around the nice ones till they become dirty and then we get rid of all the pennies. Oh, they're just blah. Then we can just pass around the nice ones till they become dirty and then we get rid of all the pennies. Yeah, just all together.

I'm still looking for a post. No. Oh, okay. I got caught up in a conversation. Oh, goodness. Okay. Sweet bird, who are you talking to? I was talking to you two. I didn't realize we were're gonna jump right in there and we'll just skip this part and no we don't have to here i think i have one okay it's another it's another ad unfortunately but i think it's i think it's interesting okay um okay and uh and

we'll see what you think okay this this is posted by Barbara and Barbara. Her post to the headline is I need free all caps rabbit cage. Oh, she this is in the free section, by the way. So see where usually you're giving things away for free. This person wants something for. Yes, she's demanding. That's sort of a that's not exactly how it's supposed to be used. But OK, she is. And she says, please call.

She lists her number. barbara thank you now what's very interesting apart from the fact that she's just demanding a free rabbit cage from people and they all caps makes me think she she will not accept anything less no uh this is the picture that accompanies the free request it's just a an orange cat it's a picture of a cat picture of picture of an orange cat on a blanket and with no reference to the cat no explanation whatsoever none whatsoever one person's interested though in the cat they may be interested in why that picture but of course it doesn't tell you that what does it say a person just interested it says one interested yes oh one interested yes see there's a i've never even paid attention to the interest button there's an interest button like a like button there's an

i guess so oh i guess so i've never used it myself but i guess you can just click and say i'm interested uh okay so then are we to assume that she's going to put this cat in a rabbit cage well then if so why would she not request a cat carrier exactly and this is this is the maybe the rabbit she couldn't get a picture of the rabbit because she doesn't have the rabbit cage and who knows where he is so she's saying look i need one of these i'm supposed to put a picture here i guess this is what i got yeah maybe she thought i can't download a picture here, I guess. This is what I got. Yeah. Maybe she thought, I can't download a picture from the internet of a rabbit cage.

I don't have the rights to that photograph. I don't need these people coming after me. I don't know if Barbara's, perhaps that's how she's thinking. But what about if she wants to get a rabbit and doesn't want to not have the cage before she gets the rabbit? And this is the picture of the cat who, it feels like the cat uploaded the picture like put me in put me in there that's right don't forget about me that is a bizarre because i hate it when there's pictures that don't have any explanation no context and uh and and you know maybe she just doesn't know like like you thought maybe she just thinks she has

to put up a picture for like the algorithm or whatever. Maybe she thinks that cat is a rabbit. Oh dear, that would be sad. That would be sad. To go that long in life. I don't know how old Barbara is. Maybe she's four. But she found it. It could be a little girl who found a cat and was like, bunny.

Sometimes that happens, you know. I feel like though you, boy, that's a bunny you learn so fast what a bunny is. Also. It's in all the books. If you go to pick up a cat versus a bunny, different reaction. Absolutely. Very different reaction. Absolutely.

I never understood bunnies as a pet, if I can just say that. Well, I get that they're cute and they seem to be relatively low maintenance. Yeah. You know. But they just don't. I mean, does anyone do you hold them? Well, now, Joan, I will remind you that you were trying to sell me on a hamster.

Because they're more, I think they're more fun. They actually do do stuff. The way they move around is, the wheel is the ball. They have all those cowlicks. Sorry, babe. All those cowlicks. All over them. What? I think it's hilarious.

The hamsters have cowlicks all over their fur. I'm sorry. Is this a new, what I'm saying, false? Am I thinking of a different animal? I don't know. You might be. So you mean their fur is just sticking up everywhere? Yeah, you've seen those hamsters with cowlicks.

Are you thinking of porcupines? I mean, I will send you a picture. Oh, okay. Here we go. I'm not standing up for myself, but I will send you. What if this is the only hamster Doug has ever seen? And it just had a ton of cowlicks. It could have been.

We were talking about it before. A teddy bear hamster, which is a little bit furrier and bigger and maybe had cowlicks. It could have been, we were talking about it before, a teddy bear hamster, which is a little bit furrier and bigger and maybe had cowlicks. Maybe. Maybe he saw our hamster once after we gave it a bath and it was just... What was that hamster's name again? Misty. That's a beautiful name.

Beautiful name. It's a beautiful name. You know, when I was a kid there, we had neighbors and they had a whole bunch of pets. They had cats, they had dogs, and they would call for this one cat, a black cat named Misty. And I remember Lori was her name, the eldest daughter. And she would stand on the porch calling, Misty. Oh, no, that's creepy. Misty. What? Why would she call it that way? I guess it worked.

Oh, it came? The cat always came? Well, eventually she stopped calling. I assumed that was the end. That is creepy. I didn't watch from the window because I didn't want to be creepy. They also had a dog named Butterscotch.

Oh, that's cute. And they would call Butterscotch as well. That's cute. I think Doug is still- Oh, he has it now. Oh. That's a guinea pig? Yeah, that's a guinea pig, Doug.

Okay, well, if you would like to send us a post from the neighbor Hap, take a screenshot and send it to us. You can send it to us at burtonjohn at gmail.com and we will credit you on the air and we appreciate all the

submissions that people have sent. Thank you so much. Well, I think that does it for this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. We'll be back next week with another look into the town of Dignity Falls. Until then, goodbye. And goodbye. All of the posts

used in this episode are real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed. The Neighborhood Listen is executive produced and hosted by me, Paul F. Tompkins. And me, Nicole Parker. Our producers are Brett Morris and Judith Cargbo. The show is engineered by Brett Morris, who also plays Doug. Sybil was played by Scott Aukerman. The Neighborhood Listen is an Earwolf production.

The Neighborhood Listen is an Earwolf production.