The Neighborhood Listen - Squirrel! with Chris Tcholakian

Episode Date: October 13, 2026

Burnt recounts a harrowing night and Joan’s movie musical is accepted into a prestigious local program, while Doug builds a home network of sorts. Later, they welcome a tech salesman (Chris Tcholakian) who wants to bring the community together.Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for the Maximus plan to unlock this episode and ALL seasons of The Neighborhood Listen ad-free, as well as full length exclusive BONUS ROOM episodes adventuring deeper into Dignity Falls!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website. Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad-free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of the bonus room, go to CBBWorld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership. And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. Knock, knock.

Who's there? Your neighbor. Good. In Dignity Falls, you're never alone. You've got the neighbor half app and us. Burn. And Jode. From coyotes to mail theft to weird things to sell.

We'll cover it all. And meet new neighbors as well. We'll chat about any posts you're missing. So just tune in to the neighborhood listen. Welcome to the neighborhood listen. This is the podcast that explores the neighborhood of Dignity Falls for the eyes of its many residents. Two of whom are here, Pram. Three, we'll find out in a second.

My name is Burt Mea Payday. I am the pharmacist in chief at the Dignity Falls. Dignity Falls, Missy Pharmacy. And here with me as always is, Joe Pedestrian. I am the top realtor here at Digny Falls, and I am also a local actress. Top local actress.

I am the top local actress. You never let me miss a chance to pump myself up, and I appreciate that. You never let me miss a chance. I am offer only in the community. And that was a big thing for me. I recently decided, hey, you know what? You know what?

I've done enough shows here, locally in the community. You've built a brand. I don't need to put myself on tape. I don't know why you have to put yourself on tape here in Dignityville. All the rules about how the tape is supposed to look. Oh, it's crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. They said you have to do it.

You're sending itself tapes. I've heard the story from so many people now. Yes, yes. People who were involved in the performing community here. you have to send it a self-tape, and for some reason, they say it has to be in front of a reproduction

of Guernica. So now you have to find one of those and put it up in your home. People like Sally Forthright who are just like, I love that. You know, she's the kind of woman who's like, oh, I love that challenge. No, I love it.

I prefer it. You know what? I'm sorry, Sally, but no one does. And I don't like then being made to feel like I'm overwhelmed by it when she had a blast with it. Is that being a picture?

And she didn't get the part. No, she never does. She sucks. She's terrible. She sucks. She has this son doing a cognizant for everything. Ridiculous.

She did it for the crucible last year. Yes. She did it for all my sons. She did. Last year was a big Arthur Miller Festival. It's called the Miller Fest. And it's really gotten a lot of traction, honestly. It really has.

And then it spawned a, a side festival, like a fringe festival called Miller Light, where they do funny versions of all of Arthur Miller's play. They had so many theaters. They had so many theaters that they had to shut down one street for all the foot traffic. They called it Miller's Crossing and it was really fun. Yes. And people are doing, they're doing these plays just anywhere.

Anywhere. They do them in, like I told you, this is how the, the Digny Falls Fringe started, where people were just bust into a restaurant and start a scene, you know, from whatever you want to have the salesman again. It started with Miller. They were bust in. This was against their will. It was against their will.

No, the actors wanted it, but the diners did not. Oh, no. That's true. Not at all. That's always true. And then they just said, you know what? Maybe we'll just move these performances to a theater. And I have some exciting news.

I didn't get to tell it last week because we didn't get to me. But, but, uh, are you okay, Bert? Yes, I'm excited. I'm so excited about this exciting news. Well, if people remember last season, I was about to, to take my new musical, the musical version of the movie something's got to give,

the Diane Keaton one, because it just screams musical. It really just kind of almost wrote itself. But I did and I wrote it. I want to be clear. In that movie, I remember watching the movie and thinking,

and this can't be true. There were moments where people are just standing around and I, like as if a song was happening. Like this is where a song should be. Yes. Well, you know what it was. Like they were waiting for the duration of the song.

Well, you know what it was. Sometimes the feeling is so big, you can't say anymore. And that's what was happening. the movie and I was like sing sing you know what I mean I was like this is the time to sing keanu um and so I was able to do it at the fringe remember I did it at the rock cavern which is a tricky space it's so cool has amazing acoustics but it's naturally occurring seats so it's vast yeah but some people will be like sitting 70 feet apart you know because they're

sitting in the little rock that's right and it's lit by glowworms it's lit by glowworms and they and here's the thing I it was a hit okay I will I don't want to for here's why here's why by every metric by every metric by every metric And here's why. Mitch McNutt, I was so worried. He's my, the critic who absolutely can't stand me. He always wants me to fail. I hate that guy. But I don't know if I, it discusses with you.

The reason why he didn't publish his review of me is because one of the bats, of course, they always say if the bats don't make any noise, you've got a hit on your hands. And we did have two bats die. We did have two bats. No, but it was okay. Which one? Which one? It actually okay.

It actually didn't affect my luck. It's a nice one of bat dies. It's nice one of bad dies. It's nice one of bad dies old age. Yeah. but Mitch apparently got bit by one of the bats. Oh, good. I know.

And he had to go to the hospital. He had to get a rabies shot and everything. And he did not publish the review. And that's why I think it got picked up by the lab, which is our new experimental musical theater space that we have a dignity fall. And what does lab stand for again? It stands for.

Let's all something. Let's all belt. Let's all belt. Yeah. That's right. So it only features, you have to have loud music. You have to belty high. You have to.

You have to. No sopranos allowed. No operatic. No operatic crap. You know what I mean? Those aren't my words. This is in their, this is in their... This is in their mission statement.

That's right. Yeah. That's in red. It's in red. No operatic crap. So I'm going to have it developed this fall over at the lab and very, very excited about it. Do you know, the opera community in Digny Falls, it's, it's, they're doing this new opera thing or it's like, in your face and people are taking their shirts off

and making people uncomfortable in the audience. They're going out into the crowd. They're doing audience work. The operas are doing, they're doing crowd work. They're grabbing people out of the audience and putting them in the opera and it's like they didn't want to be in this.

You know why? You know how like lots of standups are putting out crowd work videos? They're like, we should do the same thing. So now you can go and you can see it's like, people are coming to heckle the opera. I mean, they always have. We have terrible.

They always have. They're getting loud about it now. It's never gotten respect. here. People, man, those tickets are expensive. Ever. And people would save all year so they could go to the opera and yell at it.

Yes. Yes. So they're just getting out ahead of that. You know what I mean? So they're sort of turning the tables. And I mean, I appreciate that you have to just do so much to say relevant in the arts these days. But I don't think they need to be going out into the, listen, when I'm in an audience, I don't want,

do you want anyone approaching you from the stage? No. I hate it. It's the worst thing in the world. Yes, I agree. It's terrible. One time I saw this show. You did?

Yeah, me. Not your friend, okay. No, no, this was me. Okay. You tell a lot of stories about your friend. I know. Okay. My friend was with me, though.

Okay. Sitting right next to me. No say. And no say. No say. That's a dignity falls expression if you're not. Listen, I'm still dealing with what I like to call feminine overdrive, which is when hormones take control. And you get to a certain age when you're a woman like me.

And that happened just now. It still happens sometimes. I wanted to see. say you don't say and I wanted to say no kidding. No, I don't shy away from it, Burton. You know that. We're going to address it every time it happens. You're in my face like you're in the opera. Oh,

sorry. Oh, I apologize. I really, I don't want to do crowd work with you. I'm so sorry. Okay, so go on. You and your friend. No say. We were at the show. No say. We were at the show and when we got there, found out, because my friend knew somebody that was in the production.

And so we got these these great seats, but they were in the very front. Oh, God. And did you see what the show was yet? I haven't said what the show was. And, you know, what I was afraid of was that having heard about this show before, I knew that sometimes the performers come down into the audience. Oh, okay. Or they ask the audience questions or something like that. And that didn't really happen. Oh. Because my friend's friend, who was in the show, knew this. Oh, okay. And so steered clear of us. That's pretty great sometimes that happens. Absolutely. Yeah. But there was a moment where a fake

bloody hand did land right at my feet. Oh. Yes, it was a prop from the show that landed right at my feet. That's awful. What was the show? It was some show set on a boat. Was it like a theatrical version of Jaws? No, but that. There is a play like that about the, about the, um. Yes, my friend saw that. Making of it. Yeah, that's right. They're just on a boat. Just three of them playing the actors. And you know how they do,

they do meta jokes sometimes when you know a thing. It's very famous now. And at the time it wasn't famous. And so they did one of those because this draws was directed by Steven Spielberg. And they did one of those where he's, they say, oh, you know, his next picture is going to be about flying saucers. Oh, sure.

And then everybody laughs. And then the guy playing Quint says, or playing Robert Shaw playing Quint. says, oh, what's next? Dinosaurs. That's believable that could have happened. That's not where you would go. If you hear something about flying saucers,

you wouldn't then go, what's the next craziest thing, dinosaurs? What's crazier than flying saucers? A thing that actually exists. How are you, burned? What's going on? You know, now, Joan? By the way, you did say welcome just now, and I thought we were done with the weird welcome.

Yes, you did. You always. gaslight me about this. I will not be gaslit. I do not gaslight you. I've never gaslit you. Oh, you can't, you can't step outside of yourself and see what's happening right now. Joan, I'm not going to fall for this because last time we talked all about me and then you said, you asked me how I was doing, we talked about me and then you said, I guess I'll talk about myself some other time. I did. And you know what? I want to apologize. I was very passive aggressive. We're just aggressive. I think it was just aggressive. Some passivity. Would have been nice.

We blame the overdrive. Okay. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I'll You tell you one more thing. How long are you going to have us blame the overdrive? Ask God, okay? I don't know. This sick joke is one that we're not in on. We just have to sit and take it. So we'll get to my husband in a minute.

But first of all, okay, I'll give you one more thing. I'll give you one more thing. Oh, okay. You're just letting the listeners know. Yes. We'll get to your husband in a minute. I know. Doug, you know who I'm talking about.

I know who you're talking about. I wanted to say that the boys, my twin boys, have gotten into chess. Yes. It's so quiet. It is so great. That's kind of a strange turn for them. Well, here's the thing.

It also takes them hours to play. They've got to even watched a whole movie in between moves. Like, they'll just kind of walk away from it. You're not still playing the game then. No, they say they are. I told them you're supposed to have a timer clock and they were like, no, that's ridiculous. I'm not even sure they're playing correctly. But I'm just glad that they're, I can almost guarantee you.

They're quiet and that they're focused. And as I always say, alive. Yes. I am, of course, talking about my twin boys. Matt and... 15 Pro. And 15 Pro. So I don't know how long this is going to last,

but I'm not even going to touch it. Like, I'm not going to, I'm just going to write it out. No, let them. I don't know how they got into it. Let them fight. You know that gift? Is that from Gladiator? No, it's from a...

I really thought I was right. I think it's from a Godzilla movie. Oh, okay. Then I don't know it. Babe, do you know it? Fair enough. Let's talk to my husband, Doug, who is always recording in a different room, babe. Engineer Doug Jones husband.

He is in another room and here we go. Hey, yeah. Wow. A lot of enthusiasm. I'll give it up for you, Doug. Did you know, do you know that gift? Do you know the gift of let them fight? No.

Okay. I thought you would. You love Godzilla movies. I love gifts too. You do love gifts. Yeah. So you can understand my confusion. Doug sends me, much like Zendaya sends to Tom Holland,

Doug sends me thousands of gifts every day. Oh no. Really? Yes. Babe, I didn't know you did that. Oh, gosh. Like, how many are we talking? Thousands.

Oh, no, that's. And I will say this. I know, but I thought it was an exaggeration. I'll say this. Most of them are good. Oh, okay. I think they have a pretty good choice. And he never,

he never repeats. Can I call a such ass? Yes, of course. It's our first such as of the season. Pretty obscure ones. Of season 11. Nope. Pretty.

E11. Evan. Eleven. He has sent me, the most obscure one he sent me, because he does pride himself on, sending gifts that no one else has. And I don't know how this even exists,

but he has a gift of the person who approached Dan Rather on the street saying, what's the frequency, Kenneth, and punching him. And it's like, well, who was filming this? I only just heard the text laid over, you know, the punch. I only just recently heard about that. What's the frequency can't. Good one, babe.

Was that the day, was that the, was that the day we were in the bathroom? for five hours. You came out with those numb legs. Yeah. Yeah. Where are you recording today, babe? I am in the mole tunnels. The what?

Oh my God. You had backrooms last week and now mold tunnels. Don't you think that's way too much? Way too much. Don't you think that's way too much? I think it's way too much creepy, weird. These aren't creepy. Okay.

Tell me how they're not creepy. Are they lit beautifully? There's fantastic. Yeah. Are they lit beautifully? They actually are. Oh, nice. He started to say fantastic.

There's fantastic. What? Fantastic Four? I doubt. Now, well, the mole man was their nemesis.

The who? The mole man. Don't get, don't get mad at me for not knowing comic books, okay? I don't have to be ashamed.

I thought context clues would have given you a hint. Do you know who wrote the musical Barnum? Yes. Bailey. I do not know who wrote Barnum, but I do know that Jim Dale defined the role of PT Barnum.

Oh, really good. Thank you. Do you know who else was in it? Sandy Duncan. Glenn Close. Glenn. Clothes. Closed.

Is that how you say your name? I think it's close. I think everyone has just... It's not Glenn Close. I don't have you already... Have you always said Glenn Close? I've always said Glenn Close. Oh, that's so weird.

I've always said Glenn and close. Why? Two Ns. Two ends. Two ends. Oh. I've got two ends. I always say Glenn and close.

It's got two air. Two else. Two else. Two whales, everybody. Two whales. Two else. Okay. Tell me what's fantastic about the Mall Tunnel.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, they connect. There's hidden entrances everywhere in this home. There are? Hold on a second. Do these, are these mall tunnels, they already existed or did you build? No, I built them. Okay.

Okay. Because you're sort of saying it like you discovered this. Yeah, it sounded like that. Did you do, I didn't know there were hidden doors all over our home? Well, there's entrances. Okay. That's even more entrances. Oh, yeah.

Not doors, entrances. Entrances. So if you look right where you guys are in the case. In the kitchen. Okay. If you look where it looks like there's a dishwasher. If you look where it looks like there's a dishwasher. Hey, Glenn-in, come look at the diswash.

Is that to clean up dizzes? To make a disc track into something that, where you're praising the person. You got to throw all your dizzes into the dishwasher. And just start clean. If you open that up. Start clean. But it's called a disc rack. You put it on the disc rack.

Yes. Are you done? Okay. Oh. Doug. Now come on. Doug is already on edge. I'm not on edge. Okay.

Well, that was a little bit of a total. No one sounded more on edge than you right now saying, I'm not on edge. Are you done? Okay. What about the diswasser? What's really happening? Diswasser. If you open that up, if you open that up, it's an entrance to the tunnel system.

For how long has that been? Where is my real dishwasher? Well, we're going to have to hand wash for it a little bit. No, oh my God, that's the worst. I hate hand washing. You've turned your home into a meow wolf? What's a meow wolf? Slightly.

What's a meow wolf? Meow wolf is a sort of interactive art installation that they have in a few places now. It started in Albuquerque, New Mexico. They have one in Las Vegas. And I think in Colorado. Colorado. I remember that.

Maybe in San Diego, I think. One of the self-tapes we had to do for a show here was to go tape ourselves in front of one of the Miao Wolves. And it was so costly. Yeah. Now I remember. That's why I tried to put it out of my mind. You had to travel to do the self-tube. And it was all, they didn't, there was no money.

There was no per diem. There was nothing. We just had to do it. I don't like this at all. So now how many hidden doors are there? Yeah. Oh, there's one in every room. And it's all in every room.

Why do we need this? If we had like small children, I could see that. But now it's just like, I don't, I don't like being in tunnels, babe. babe. So how are we going to use this? You don't have to use them. I mean, it's like the subway system. You don't have to use it, but it's probably quicker. It's a great one to one.

Now, are you worried that other people will be able to find their way into these tunnels and then gain access to your home? Oh, don't even put the thought in my headburned. Oh. I was surprised you weren't thinking about that already. No, the outdoor entrances are pretty hard to find. I don't love the way you said pretty because that was not convincing. Like, where's one of them?

right next to the front door. But it's covered. There's like a fake rock entrance. Oh, great. How are they fantastic? Can you please just describe to me what they look like? So there's like, there's cool. There's cool.

What does that mean? Hold on. I try to explain these things and then I get, is it like a big sliding door? Slide up. What, the fake rock? Yeah. Slide up.

The fake rock. Gentlemen, please, I am trying to get to why they're fantastic. That is the word you threw down and I need to hear the follow up. Okay. Just let me, this is happening in my own home under my own feet. I also want to. In my own dissu-washed. I yield the remainder of my time.

Okay, thank you. I also want to point out, I feel like you already yielded your time. Because we never really got an update from you. He won't give me one. He said that I was too aggressive when I said I didn't get to talk about myself in the last episode. Maybe later. Will you, maybe in the third section, talk about yourself?

You are twisting this to make me the bad. guy. No, no, no, no. I really didn't mean to me. I was just doing a quick regroup and just like a recap is what I meant to say the first time. I was doing a quick recap for him. I wasn't trying to be I wasn't trying to have a tone. I apologize.

I think that that recap had it had some teeth to it. I'm really sorry. I meant it to be gums. Maybe some hair. It was supposed to be all gums and I'm really so. A gummy recap. A gummy recap. So we should all

strive for. Okay, done. Let's get a gummy recap on that. All right. The rock's not that important. It's a little, you just kick it over and then there's a hole there. Oh, great.

That sounds so secure. Just kick it over. You never suspect that. I mean, how many people are kicking over rocks? Okay. Tell me about why it's fantastic. Okay. Please, please, please.

These are, you're not worried about the old-fashioned gang? I'm not too worried about them. Okay. For people who are all bark. There's this group of boys. They're tween boys. And they, They just dress in like 1930s.

They do. You know, they're wearing short pants with suspenders. They're the grocery gang, right? It's the sons of the grocery gang. Yeah, it's the sons of the grocery gang. Yes. Sons of grocery gang. They are all teen fathers, the grocery gang.

Yeah. And now their sons are doing this thing. Their sons are not doing any better. No. They're just learning from what they watch. Yes. And they're, so they're, you know, they, they, they walk around and they, they, they, they, they, They do a lot of like 1930s movies sort of conventions, you know, like little kids would do.

And a lot of it does include like shoving their hands deep in their pockets and kicking rocks. It's true. The thing I do like, all nuts. When you hear the words, all nuts, that means a rocket's going to get kicked. The thing I do like that they do is they go, don't make me take out my Tommy gun. And then they get little Tommy and they hold them like a gun. And I think it's pretty fun And then he spits at people.

Yeah, he does spit. Rapid fire. Yeah, he's fast. I think it's terrible. They're using a little child that way. These tunnels have, you know, pillows lined throughout, pillow-lined walls. They're really fun. And there's all padded walls, but pillow-lined.

Pillow-lined. That's what pads are. So you can feel like you're claustrophobic and stuck in a cave and also in an insaneness. It's very claustrophobic. Yeah. I don't want to go down there. This is one of the selling points? It's very claustrophobic.

Yeah, I mean, there is a nutty putty. Oh, I knew you were going to say nutty putty. Yeah, but you don't go there. There's clear signs not to go to the nutty putty. No, what's nutty putty? Oh, God. Okay, so the Nutty Puddy Puddy caves were famously these caves in Utah that you honestly had to go through something called the birth canal.

It was so tight. I have a lot of friends that did it. A lot of Mormons did it. So they can't drink. So they go down in a cave. That's what they do for a thrill-seeking adventure. and this is a very sad moment, okay? This is a very sad moment.

I know people who personally went through the Nottie Caves and it's horrifying to me. I mean, like they barely got out. So unfortunately, one guy was going by himself, which is not what you should do. Or maybe his brother was behind him. But this is terrible. He went the wrong way, which how would you even know where you're going?

There were no maps. And he unfortunately got stuck with his head, you know, down. He was in like an L shape, you know. His head was his, but it was terrible. And he's still there. Well, yeah, they filled up the Puddy, Nottie Puddy Caves because no one else can. Well, he's not still there. Yeah, skeleton now.

That's right. That's right. Yes. And I'm sorry to bring the room down. But every time I get, I don't know. It ends upsetting that it has a very sort of like very light and very airy, fun name. And there was a death there. We talked about the devil's hand.

We did. Which was a range of hills. Yes. That supposedly is the devil's hand. It doesn't look anything like the hand. And the names are actually called like the West Cat and the North Cat. It makes no sense. It made you very furious.

This thing should be called the devil. something or other. Oh no, it was the devil's thumb. The devil's thumb. Because you hiked to the devil's tower at Christmas time. This is different. This is the devil's thumb. Yes. This was a documentary I watched. It was very frustrating. I don't know why they're called the nutty putty

case. I think now they should just be called something else. You know, maybe name the cave after the guy, I don't know. Death cave. That's what they shouldn't even for the beginning. Maybe people would avoid it. Nutty putty sounds like you're going have fun down there. And there might even be like a candy. Nutty putty to me sounds like

It's caves that you could mold with your own hands. Yes. So if it gets stuck, no problem. You just push the put the Puddy out of the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's nutty. You could put the comic strips up against it. I'm going to need to look up at the break.

I'm going to look up the origin of why it's called that. It can't be named after someone named Nuddy and someone named Puddy. They share equal billing. Who first discovered it? You'd have to be friends with someone. If you're last name was Nuddy and you met someone named Puddy. Absolutely. You'd have to be.

Well, we have to name a cave together. That's where we bet. How long have we been talking about? babe. I think we've been talking for long enough. I had that feeling. Oh my gosh. That's edge. That's edge.

But 23 is exactly our mark that we always stop at. You can talk more about it later. Yes, I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to be done. I will say, I don't feel like you explain enough why it's fantastic. I didn't. I got to say. You had the floor and you chose to list pillows.

I think I. And a security rock key that was not a big deal. On one, on the one. And I do feel like Doug did get sidetracked a lot by our questions. On the other hand, he did not lead with anything particularly fantastic. Thank you. Thank you. Okay.

I'm sorry, babe. I don't want to have bad energy. If you have to build up to why it's fantastic, it doesn't sound that fantastic. Well, I think I need more than two words to build up. Oh, poor, Doug. Oh, poor, Doug. I don't like this energy. Let's regroup.

Let's regroup. Let's take a breath before we invite our guest on. Yes. Okay. Doug can tell us all about the caves and then we don't have to hear it on Great. We'll return with the neighborhood letters, but the neighborlinson returns.

Hi, Paul. Nicole, hello. Thank you for joining me here. Okay. Thank you for not being weirded out because I didn't tell you I was going to be here. No, it's okay. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for joining me, and I'm not weirded out even though you didn't tell me you were going to be here. I'm so glad. Hey, because here's the thing. I wanted to just talk to you about

these pieces that are in your closet that you find yourself always reaching to over and over again. You're such a well-dressed person. You know what I'm talking. about the sweater that somehow always works with everything. Yeah, I know that's right. Do you have a tie that works with everything? Yeah, of course I do. Of course you do. Not surprised. This guy.

You know, I think that I have some of those two. I just feel like I'm always aspiring to add more. You have those that you know will always fit just right. Oh yeah, yeah, like those. And you have that bag you carry everywhere. I do have a pair of jeans just like that. And that is exactly what Quince has for you as well. Mm-hmm. Careful. You say. Because Quince makes elevated everyday essentials using premium materials like Mongolian cashmere, organic cotton, and premium sketched denim. Stretch denim.

Oh, no. Quince, I'm sorry. The designs are timeless, thoughtfully crafted, and made to be worn a gain and a gain. Their 100% Mongolian cashmere sweater started just $50. That's inexpensive for cashmere. Giving you the softness and quality you'd expect from a luxury brand. But, and this is crucial, without the luxury price tag. That's my favorite part.

And as the weather gets colder, Quinn says everything that you need to round out your wardrobe from warm, responsibly sourced down jackets and cozy cashmere scarves. Ooh, a scarf, a cashmere scarf and gloves to beautiful 14K gold jewelry. Oh, jewelry always keeps me warm. And it adds the perfect finishing touch. I love on a cold winter night putting on all my jewelry. Yes. It's sitting by the fire. Oh, it's my favorite.

Now listen, let me give you some personal experience. Okay. I have a zip-up cashmere cardigan. Oh, jealous. That was given to me by my sister-in-law. Oh. Score. It's so comfortable.

It's so cozy. And I love it. Is it from Quincy? As the weather. Yes, of course it's from Quinn. I'm just making sure. Oh, my gosh. Quince, I would never do that to you.

And it's not just apparel. Quince brings that same approach to everything they make from hotel quality bedding and bath. to kitchen essentials and thoughtfully designed furniture. They make well-designed pieces for everyday living. Find the fall pieces you'll reach foremost at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to Quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too.

And when Quince asks you where you heard about them, you let them know it was the neighborhood listen. But in a happy way. It's the best way to support the show. Thank you. Bye. Bye. This is Amy.

And free. A blessed floral wreath. A decorative wreath with flowers and greenery. You hang it on the door or the wall to remind yourself that you're blessed. It's the word blessed. And then it's surrounded by flowers and greenery. And there's a boat. Now the reason I'm letting this one go is because, for disclosure, it's ironic.

If you have this, you are not blessed. In fact, you are cursed. It's a way of punishing people who are either smug enough to believe themselves, to have been touched by God himself, or just people who wish to take a shortcut to being blessed without having to go through all the rig moral of religion. So there's been a blight on my crops. I have a dozen locusts in my house. I have two weeping boils.

And what else? What else? Oh, a bunch of frogs fell out of the sky on me. It didn't hurt as much as you would think. They weren't that high up. So, if you want this, it's free. If you're already blessed and you just want to remind yourself, then maybe it won't do anything bad to you. But if you're not, if you don't consider yourself blessed, I'd pass on this one.

But it is free. Maybe you want to curse somebody else. I don't care anymore because my life is a mess. I need this thing out the house. All right. I love you all. I miss you. I hope we can get together soon.

And, uh, yeah, and welcome back to the neighborhood. Listen. Come on, Bert. You are, you literally aren't hearing that. You sounded like Bugs Bunny. It really, it really gets under your skin. Oh, well, come on.

It only gets under my skin because he acts like he has. There's no idea what I'm talking about. And he never listens to our podcast, only I do. And so he'll never listen. He'll never hear it. The thing about Bugs Bunny is that... Way to switch to subject. Sometimes he is, he is the aggrieved party.

He's just minding his own business. Sure. Sometimes. He's just a monster. He is, yes. Everyone else is minding their own business. What's he doing? He's out for chaos.

He's out for chaos. He's out for chaos. And then we're supposed to feel bad for him when... This hunter with a speech impediment Just trying to feed his family? I don't think we're supposed to look into it that hard. You know what I mean? I don't think we're supposed to really...

I don't know. Well, then what is art? Well, Joan, you had an update on the nutty party games. I did. It actually was named... Yeah, actually. Okay. See, I admit that that came out of my mouth.

Yeah, gum you like, he's coming back in style. It was named... It actually wasn't even after the soft brown putty-like clay found throughout the narrow... underground passives you would think that would that would mean like we said that you could sort of move it yeah but I guess you can't take a wrong turn what about the nutty the name the name of the guy discovered is just named Dale green what about the nutty part and he said that it felt like silly putty and so then they decided that it should be nanny putty because it had a better ring to it

and the name stuck well Joan we have thank you for that update by the way oh you're welcome I know that everyone really was waiting for it we do have a guest as we always do on the neighborhood listen. What we do is we scour the neighbor app, the social networking application for neighborhoods, and we look for interesting people to talk to. Maybe somebody has a message they want to get out there. Maybe somebody has a question they need answered. Maybe somebody has something terrible to report. Oh, goodness. I hope not. I hate those. I hate those when they're terrible reports. Yeah. My least favorite type of post. Same because sometimes they're dangerous guests. That's true. We've had a few people who are murderers. Absolutely. We absolutely have.

And that's on us. Yep. We should vet these people. But this one, I think we're okay. But here's the thing. If you see a post that you think we may have missed, somebody we should talk to, then you can write in and send it to us at just take a screenshot and send it to Burnt and Joan at gmail.com. And we'll read it on the air. And this one comes from Ariel.

Oh. Flonick Plit. Wow. Boy, I hope I'm reading that. I sure do too. Ariel, I do apologize for my pronunciation. F-L-A-J-N-I-K-H-L-I-T-T. Maybe it's a phon-ated listener.

Maybe it's a N-A-F-A-F-N-Y-E-K. Yeah, maybe it's Flan-Y-Y-K. I do apologize. We should just move on. We should move on. And this is posted by someone just identifying themselves on the neighbor as neighbor. Oh, okay.

This is in the general section. And neighbor rights. headline squirrel neighbor continues i saw squirrel today had a bushy tail and running fast here to tell us more that's not it is our neighbor first of all could you tell us what your name is oh um yeah um sorry we need me to catch you off guard no that's okay um my name is um uh biscuits person my name's biscuit's person okay my first question sure is that true is that true Um, totally. This gets person.

It seems like you don't want to give your true identity. What? No. Sorry, I'm a little frazzled. I'm sorry, I was walking up. I was walking up the driveway and there was like a banana leaf on the ground. And I stepped on it and fell into some sort of cave. Oh.

Doug. It was like a big hole at the front of the drive away. Guess what that was? That could have been any cave. No. It's literally the mold. There was pillows lining the entire thing. I am so sorry.

You cannot see my husband right now. You can hear him. He's in the tunnel that you were in. He was building them. I hope you helped yourself to the mini fridge. I didn't even notice that. And I will say, I would love to be able to see the person who's talking. It's freaking me out a little bit that there's a voice.

I'm so sorry. Oh, I'm so sorry. That's our engineer, Doug. He's my husband. He's not to be feared. Okay. But he is to be respected. I come in peace.

Okay. Well, that's not helping. That was creepy, honey. Now, Doug, I do have to ask, you immediately. immediately knew that biscuits landed in a place with a mini-fridge. How many mini-friges have you stocked the caves with? In all the nexus points. Oh, God.

Okay. You have outlets down there? No for the question. Okay, forget it. Biscuits, again, I'm just going to reiterate that it did seem like you didn't want to share your real name. Oh, that's crazy. No, that's...

Are you wearing a fake mustache? What's up? No, this is real. I don't know. seems to be coming off. Okay. Let's table that. Let's table the name.

Okay. Why, first of all, did you want to come on this podcast? Because usually we let people amplify. I want to go back even further. Well, okay. I want to go back even further. Okay. Why did you post this?

And then why did you want to come on the podcast? I was working backwards. Oh, what is this momentum? This is Teddy. Do not believe it's lies. I'm sorry, biscuits. Please answer. Yeah.

So I was walking around outside. I died whenever I want. Fun. Yeah. I can do that. It's up to me when I get to do that. Oh, great. Okay.

I'm glad it is. I'm glad to hear. Yeah. And I saw a squirrel and bushy tail moving fast. Right. Yeah, that's what the post says. We've covered that. So I thought I'd let everyone know and maybe we all want to do something about it.

Oh. Now, I did not expect that. What are you thinking we would do about it? What are the options of things to do? I mean, the stuff we all do. do when we see a squirrel. So I mean, you guys know we can try to grab it by its neck. Oh.

That never has occurred to me. I'll be honest. Never. Really? Yes. It's never occurred to me. And I say, oh, it's a squirrel. And then I move on with my day.

Yeah. Really, that's crazy. You guys should try grabbing a squirrel by your, by your, by its neck, using your mouth. Okay. You're using your mouth? Yeah. And then you shake it around a lot. Oh, God.

Maybe that's not a fake mustache. Are you saying rotting? Did he attack that? It's pretty bushy. Okay, let's continue with the other options. Please say there's more. Yeah, so that's one. Another one is we can just sort of run around for a long time and see.

He can clues everyone. He just says we. He can say we. Well, I figure, yeah, I would want us to all do it together as a community. And we run around and do what now? Just sort of see if we can get it. Okay. Okay.

That seems to be like the first one. It's like substance. It's like one A. Yes. Yeah. Okay. And then what else? We wait for it.

Wait for it. To come to us. No. Oh, okay. And then once it's close, we run up and we run out and get it. Has that one ever worked for you? Has it ever come up to you? It does get close sometimes, but then I find what happens is I get too excited and I jump up and then the squirrel sees me and runs away.

What's your name again? Biscuit person? Person, yeah. Right. You shouldn't have, you shouldn't have given it to him. You should have just let, you know, see what. happens. Okay.

And Biscuits, are you a native of Dignity Falls? Have you always lived here? Yeah. Yeah, I've lived here. I love the community. I was at Miller Light last year. Oh, fun. I saw a pantsing of a salesman.

There is a fun, there is a fun parody arm of the fest, and it's really great. Miller Light. Miller Light. The thing about the pancing of a salesman is that the pantsing happens immediately. early on. It's really early on. And then he's Willie Lomas just walking around his ankles. It gives him meaning to the phrase attention must be paid when they get to that moment.

Because the rest of the play is done word for it exactly like the original. But Willie Loman is walking around with his pants around his ankles. So it does undercut everything that's happened. I love that one. It really kind of does. Some people thought Mitch McNutt said it was the best thing he's ever seen. Like as if he thought that it actually brought out more pathos and that it was. He used the word transcendent.

He did. Yes. because I couldn't just now. Yeah, and I'm actually in one this year. I'm very excited. Oh, really? Oh, great. I'm going to be in Bye Bye Birdie.

Oh, good. I'm playing Conrad. Wow. That's a big part. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Titular character.

So you're it is the titular character. So have you performed a lot? I haven't seen you around. Oh, no. I've been around. I'm really excited about it. Oh, okay. About being around or just doing this show?

Being around. I'm really excited about being around. It's cool. I get to go. Is there a reason you're wearing sunglasses? Just because it's cool. Well, I mean, I can't argue with you there. But let's get out some other questions.

What do you do other than theater? Are you just able to support yourself doing that? Do you have like a day job? Oh, yeah. No, I do all the stuff we all do. I go outside in the morning and I leave for eight to nine hours. Oh, like to go where? The store.

places other like the places where the people in my house are not allowed to go. Okay. Let's talk about that. Who is in your house? And what is that? Well, you know sometimes, you know sometimes when you're going out and you're like to everyone in your house, you're like, you have to stay here and you can't actually go outside. Okay. I will be honest. I do tell my twins that. I do tell my twins that a lot. Right now I don't have to because they're so busy looking at the pieces. Sometimes I try to eat them. But who is who is? Who is? Wow. Who is being told that they can't go anywhere in your house? I have a stupid, freaking stupid dog that's...

Oh, no. Oh, I don't love that description of a dog. Why don't... What don't you like about it? Well, no, just like, you know, like, they can't do stuff and they have to stay inside and, you know, you know how it is with them. I have to say, I don't know how it is with them. I don't. Do you see what's quite? I mean, I'm just trying... Right now, I'm trying to judge what? So I noticed you wearing a heavy winter coat.

Yeah. And gloves. And sunglasses. And sunglasses. And maybe a mustache. Sort of a scarf around the lower half of your face. Right. Yeah.

And snow hat on top. It's very hard to see anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're not warm at all? I'm a little warm, but I'm trying to keep my mouth shut. Oh, well. What is that? Oh, like I'm trying not to.

That makes you colder to? open your mouth? No, I'm just like trying not to cause a problem or anything, but it's fine. What kind of problem are you afraid you're going to cause? Do you really not see what's going on? I don't see. See, I told you, Bart, I don't know. I don't know what's going on. Why don't you tell me? Can I get a hint? Think of that. See, Doug doesn't know either. Well, then ask a question that lets me know some sort of direction that you're headed on. So there was another voice. A dog. What's up? Are you a dog? Is this a safe space?

This is a safe space biscuits. Yes, hi. I'm a dog. Okay. All right. Oh, I'm sorry. I just couldn't see what was right in front of me. I was close.

I thought he was an animal. I'm going to take off some of my layers now. Oh, absolutely, please. Can I get you some water? I know you want water. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, thank you.

What breed are you? Um, a Pomeranian. You're the largest Pomeranian I've ever seen. Thank you. Thank you. Wow. Can I get you water? I mean,

I know you must be dying for that. That would be great. Something like that. Oh my God. That would be amazing. Thank you so much. Who wants one? Who wants one?

Me? I do. I do. Who wants one? There you go. I do. How is it you come to have human speech? You know?

Question. Thank you. You know, that's a great question. And it's something that sort of since I was born, I've been able to do. And do the people that you live with? I don't want to say owners. Is that, is that rude to say? Whatever.

whatever you want. Okay. The people that you live with, do they know that you can talk? No. I've had to hide it from them, but I have a, I have a friend Brian who I can talk to about this. You do. That's great. That's great.

I'm really happy. It's good to have a friend. Yeah. Absolutely. When did you discover that you had this ability? It was probably one day I was. going for a walk and there was auditions for a play. Really?

And I walked up to it and I was like, I want to do this. Wait, so you can read as well. Yeah. Okay. Wait, did you realize you could read? One day I heard this noise and usually when I hear that noise, it means I'm going to eat soon. So I ran over to see what the noise was and there was this big bag. and I looked at the bag

and I noticed that it said all this stuff on it. Okay. And then I looked at the other side of the room and I saw a big book. It had another word on it, dictionary. Wow. Dictionary was the first word that you read? I thought you were going to just read dog food. Well, I didn't know what it meant yet.

So you look at the bag and it says dog food. You're like, what does that mean? Okay, so then you see the dictionary. You go dictionary. So you just couldn't. read. So, well, I went and grabbed the dictionary. This is faster than most humans read, frankly. Right. Yeah. And then I just started working backwards. There's a lot of downtime because when working backwards. Yeah, like I would see a word and I would go to the dictionary and I would look up what it means.

Okay. This is, this is amazing. First of all, how are you going to pull up doing Conrad and buy by birdie? That's a great question, Joan. Do they know you're a dog? No, no. It's been tough. Okay. One thing I've been sort of negotiating with the director is maybe Conrad's wearing a big winter jacket. Oh, no. You're going to be so hot under the lights. Oh, goodness. And there's a lot of dancing in that show. He also has a specific outfit that he wears.

He really does. Yeah. But I was like, it can be just a gold, big jacket and a gold hat and gold glasses. And gold gloves? Gold gloves, gold scarf. Right. Um, gold long pants. Do they, so wait, I'm sorry.

They do or do not know you're a dog. They do not. Okay. Somehow. I mean, unless you pulled me, you clearly fooled Biscuits. Thank you. And you auditioned for this? Yes, I did.

And this is a safe space. This is a safe space. Okay, good. Thank you. Yep, absolutely. I mean, by a safe space, what do you mean? This is a podcast and it will be going out to people to hear it. Oh.

And your owners might hear it. Okay. But are they not the kind? Do you like your office? We don't have like doctor patient confidentiality. We don't. Sorry. Tell me about your relationship with your owners.

Yeah. I don't want to say owners. What do we say? The people you live with. The people you live with. Yeah. There's this one guy. He's my owner, but he went to, like, he went to some cave for a little bit.

Oh, dear. He said he's going to go on vacation. Oh, no. Where was this cave? Um, hmm. I don't say Utah. I think it was Utah. They're all there.

They're all there. Oh, how long has he been gone? Five months. Oh, dear. Well, listen, he could have also just decided to start over with his life. You know, that's another way to look at it. I get. I mean, are you alone in this house now?

Yeah, I'm alone. The phone rings a lot. Oh, dear. He still has a landline. That's so crazy. I can't reach it because it's in the wall. It's one of the landlines. Of course.

So I jump up at it. So then how have you been, so you've just been sort of out on your own needing to find your own food, needing to find. How do you manage all that? I went into his bedroom and he had a bunch of clothes and I was like, okay, I can do this. Okay. And then I'll admit it, I killed a squirrel and wore its tail as a mustache. Okay. And then basically I've just kind of, I got a job.

Whoa, what is your job? I work in tech sales. No way. Okay. Well, I guess it's just, you're just on the phone, right? No one has to see you. Yeah, exactly. It's really good.

And I'm always really excited. And I think that has a really good impact on the call. Sure. I will say you have a very, for a Pomeranian, you're really. calm. Thank you. You have a very calm energy. Thanks. I'm, um, I feel like more and more I'm understanding what it's like to be a human. Wow. I kind of like it and I'm, I'm, I'm ready to sort of stick with it. Wow. So it's like turn your back on the dog world. Yeah. Do you have dog friends? Brian. He's also a dog? Yeah. Gosh, I wish I could have him talk to escrow. Escro is my dog who's

about 56 years old. Oh, wow. Yeah. And is, is actually blind and deaf, but I wonder if there's anything you could do for him. I'd be fascinated about it. I mean, if he's deaf, he probably can't hear me. I know, that is true. But maybe you can just put a paw on him. Maybe there's a way you can communicate. Just a reassuring paw.

That might be nice. Oh, like a sort of miracle worker kind of thing. Yes. Babe, I am quite shocked that now that we realize we're talking to a dog that you have not chimed in once. No question for you. Because this is like your dream. Yeah.

So please take the floor. Oh, I mean, everything's made perfect sense to me. Good tracks. I usually... Is there anything you want to ask biscuits? Because I know you were afraid biscuits because he's scaring you, but there's no need to be scared. Are you a little bit better?

I'm a little bit better. I would love if I could see him because every time he talks, it registers as a new sound to me, if that makes sense. Because he's not in the room. So I just think there's like a new person. But it's okay. Doug, what's up? Yeah, I can make my way to the dishwasher. Okay.

Come out through the dishwasher. be great. But yeah, I usually choose to pursue lizards outside, but I could see squirrels being fun. So wait, you're talking about, now you want to just you know, I like to chase about what animals you guys like to chase.

Is that what you're talking about? I'm not sure, but else, you know, I have no further questions. I've never tried to chase a lizard. No questions. Never. Really? They're scary.

What is it that scares you about them? They're like tough. Like they don't have fur or anything. Can I ask you a question that might be very inappropriate? Please. Why do you guys stare right at us when you're pooping? Oh, safety. Really?

Yeah. Okay. So when I'm pooping, I'm at my most vulnerable to attack. Sure. That makes sense. Okay. I guess so. So when I'm pooping, I'm scared for attack.

So I need to look at you so that you're validating that I'm not going to get attacked. Okay. All right. That helps. Thank you. Is there any other questions you have? I'd love to. Are you really dreaming when your paws are flapping around in your sleep?

Yeah. My dreams are awesome. What do you dream about? I'm buying groceries. Okay, let me ask about that. So do you actually dress up as a human and go to the grocery store and buy groceries? Yeah. I've been going to Air One.

You know about this? Whoa. How can you afford Airwan? I work in tech sales. Oh, that's right. Tech sales. Very good. I didn't even think about that.

Yeah. You go to Airwan. Yeah, it's awesome. I guess you blend in pretty well there. People assume I'm like a 90-year-old woman wearing several coats. Sure. Sure. Now, Biscuits, your name Biscuits, that was a name given to you, I assume?

Okay, I should be honest. That's not my name. I made it up. I got nervous. Oh, I knew it. I thought what a person's really fooled me. Yeah. Because I'm like, that's what you guys are.

Right, right. But usually it's not the last name of an actual person. No way. Every once in a while. Every once in a while. That is true. What is your last name? My last name is pedestrian.

Okay. So you're saying you never walk down the street. Good point. Good point. Do you know whose last name was Persons? Who? His real last name was Truman Capote. Is that right?

Yes. My goodness. Was his first name Truman? Yes. Truman. Truman Heckvis persons. Heckvis. No, sorry.

It might have been peoples. Oh, that makes sense. I've heard the name people. That makes sense. What's that sound? Oh, no, I'm hearing it too. Oh, is it, oh, are your, it's on your, I can see now that there's, you've got a call underneath still. And I think that it's, it's just knocking against one of the buttons of your coat.

Okay, yeah, that's why I wasn't nervous. Why do you still wear the collar? I mean, do you worry about someone, again, seeing it like I just did or is it just. Are you wearing it like getting glossed? I didn't know you could take it off. Oh, that's sort of sad and sweet. Of course you didn't think you could take it off. Oh, my goodness.

Is it this part of me? Is this not? No, this is. Wait, wait, wait, but if biscuits isn't, so what is your, what is your given name? My real name is Reginald. Reginald. Yeah. He calls me Reggie.

Reggie for short. What's wrong? You seem to not like it. And you thought biscuits was a name that people have? The first name? I just started thinking about some of my favorite things. Sure. That makes sense.

And you love biscuits. I do. I get them when I do a good job. Sure. They forgot about that kind of biscuit. That text. sales? Yeah. I worked it out with my boss. He said we can do some sort of commission for each sale. I said, if you can get that to me in biscuits or little meat sticks, then we got a meal. And he didn't,

he didn't think that was suspicious or anything. No, he actually said that's great for him because it's significantly less money. Sure. Do you think if you're doing, go on, go on. No, you go ahead. No, no. It was a dumb question. Go on. Because mine's great. Okay. Do you feel if you're doing a great job that you can negotiate upwards to get some bull penises. Oh my God. I never even thought about that. Okay, I'm going to email them. Have you ever had one before?

Bull penis? No. Oh, really. But it sounds really good. What's the fanciest treat you've had? What's the best meal you've had as a dog? Best meal you've had as a dog. Ooh, one time, one time my owner was eating a steak and then he had a friend over and she

was like mad at him. And then she kind of abruptly left in the middle of eating and and then he and then he threw his fork across the room and went to bed and then I like, that's a hell of a fight. Well, this was a good night for you, but a bad night for them. And then I crawled up on the table and I ate the rest of the steak. Good for you. That's great. Did you eat two steaks?

Or did she finish those before she. Two half. So Wednesday. Yeah. Do you recall what the, what the conflict was? Because you can understand what everyone's saying, right? I mean, you can understand us. So you could understand them at this point.

Yeah, I can understand them. I try not to listen to his stuff because it's like private. But at the same time, I'm also sort of taking notes to see for when I go out into the world what it would be like. I think it was something about like he didn't take his life seriously or something. Oh, dear. And then he went, he went something about I'm going to Utah to. change things. And I don't, and then...

I wonder what that means. Yeah. And I never heard of someone going to Utah to change things. That's right. Usually, they're sending out the missions. That's right. Yeah, to change things other places. Yeah, to make it more like Utah.

Yeah. Okay. So... I don't really like her anyway, to be honest. Oh, okay. All right. Who was this person? She's just, she was coming around for like four months.

And every time she would be around like, he didn't want to hang out. He was busy. He had to go somewhere. They would get, they would go into the bedroom and fight in this kind of specific way. Oh, what does that mean? Um, so you know how sometimes when you're with your friend, you start tackling each other, biting each other. Oh, right. Jumping all over each other. Well, I understand that you do that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So they were doing that too, but just like weirdly, weirdly, it was like a little different. I didn't really understand how, like, what was going on there. Maybe, uh, a little more closely and rhythmically. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I see. I see. I think there might have been okay. Okay. Don't worry about them. Okay. Okay. You think he's okay? I haven't seen him in five months, but you think he's okay? I don't know. I do hope he's changed things. I hope that he's, there's a really great Shakespeare festival there in Cedar City, Utah. Maybe that's what he meant. Did you get your acting skills from him? Like did you grow up watching him act or what did he do for a living? Do you know? He was between jobs last I checked. Last I checked. Yeah, he was trying to become a... But he left all day, right? Where did he go?

lately he was just going to what he said was I need to go to the McDonald's and seem busy Oh dear Busy busy how do you seem busy at a McDonald's so he would put a suit on and he would oh dear And he would leave and he'd wave to all the neighbors and he'd be like heading to work oh So they didn't know he was going to McDonald's but then he'd sit there at McDonald's in a suit All day and then you bring me back like nuggets well that's nice I can only have two otherwise it upsets my tummy oh sure oh of course That makes sense.

What, and also please, if you feel like you're going to throw up, please let me know. Okay. I've got stuff for that, but I do, I would prefer not to be on, on my, uh, on my courts. Yeah, I'll say in my experience, I don't think I'm going to throw up until all of a sudden I threw up. Right. That's why I'm trying to get ahead of it because I do know that normally happens from experience. Right. But I think Biscuits is saying he's not going to be able to give you a head.

I know. I'll just watch for the signs. Okay. Um, so you made this post. What were you? how did you find the app in the first place and what made you want to post about it? Were you looking for other dogs perhaps that are... How to answer the phone on the wall?

No. So how... I jump at it. I jump at it. You probably bark at it. You're able to put on clothes. You have a job. Hey, do you have a...

You could post online, but you couldn't figure out of maybe nudge a chair over. Yeah, and that's my question. A chair, of course. How did you post online? line. Let's start there. And then how did you find the app? Um, so I can, the end of my nose sort of functions as one big finger. Okay. Okay. So I, you don't use a paw. No. It's so interesting. Okay. Um, no, so I'll go and sometimes the keys get a little wet because sometimes my nose is wet. Oh, sure. Um, but yeah, so I can post in there. And then I really love the internet. I've been having a great time on there. I bet. Yeah. I just found out

about Reddit. Do you guys know about Reddit? The front page of the internet? Yes. Absolutely. Have you found anyone else like you on the internet? I met Brian on the internet. Okay. Sorry. I guess I keep forgetting. So then what made you want to post this?

Talk us through it. You saw a squirrel this one particular day. I saw a squirrel and while I want to be a human and move past that, I still have my ways about me. Sure. This is just instinct. It's instinct. and I thought, okay, maybe we can all meet each other halfway. So I'm being human. I'm going around and being in plays.

Which is such a strange choice. There's so many things you can do. You can hide in tech. But now you are on the stage, literally for people to have so much time to sit and look at you and maybe see that you're a dog. A lot of bye-bye birdie is talking about me rather than me being in here. It is true.

And thinking about you. Yeah. We've been going under the assumption that Albert is. the main character of bye-bye birdie. Okay. That's what we were being told by the director. Is the director also playing Albert? The director is playing Albert.

That's why. He's added some more like scenes. You gotta watch out for that. That always happens. Albert is that the Dick Van Dyke part? Yeah. Yes. What?

I don't, I don't remember a lot about by-by-bye. Neither do I if I'm being honest. I've seen it like 40 times. Really? Wow. So it opens with Anne Margaret singing about how by by Bert,

how Bertie's being drafted. This is maybe all I remember. Here's what I remember. Oh, burn three things from the movie. Yeah. I remember it's more than three things. Oh, okay, great. I remember Ann Margaret doing a thing where she seems to be going towards the camera.

Then the camera seems to be retreating from her. Then she's fine with it. Then she runs toward the camera again. Then the camera gets freaked out and backs away. She's singing bye-bye Bertie. I remember Ed Salavad. I remember what's the matter with kids today. I remember put on a happy face.

I remember the phone song. What's the word? Did you hear about it? I don't have. And then I remember. I hate that song. It's terrible. Because you can't do the phone.

How are you going to handle the phone? Exactly. And also the ringing makes me upset because I don't know what's going on. Of course. I start freaking out. You still don't know what's going on. Reginal. I figure it out like five or ten seconds in.

I sort of am like, right. They do that. It should be. in nature at this point. You talk on the phone for a living. I know, but I have a headset. Oh, that makes sense. Fair enough. And you just have probably just push one. Yeah. That's right. With your nose. Okay. I also remember that there's a big, the boys all march against Conrad Bernie coming to down. We hate you, Conrad. And then he shows up and sings a song. Got to be sincere. Honestly, sincere. Yes. Wait, is that the one where he goes, be, eh, eh, eh. Oh, no, that's one.

One last kiss. One last kiss. That's what he sings during the rehearsal for Ed Sullivan. And that's all I remember. We got to come see this. We got to come see you in this. He gets drafted. He's going to go to war.

I believe so. Yeah. You remember more about that than I remember yesterday. Doug, that's not good. That's because you're down in those caves. Yesterday is a guy who, I think you should come back up out. He's the only one who remembers Beatles music. Right.

That's yesterday. You know, I heard a spoiler about that movie. What? I've never seen it. The movie yesterday? Don't get it away. I've never seen it either. Well, there's actually an amazing, there's an amazing ending.

Oh, I do actually remember, yeah. Oh, now you've seen this movie? I have. Okay. So anyone who doesn't want to hear this, fast forward. Yeah, pass forward. But I was shocked when I heard this. Okay.

By the end of the movie, it's revealed some other people have heard of the Beatles. Oh. What? Is that true? I'm thinking of a different twist. Oh, what twist are you guys talking about? I don't think so. I don't think so.

I don't think so. I don't think so. The twist I'm thinking of and spoilers for the listeners. is at the very, towards the very end of the movie, a guy walks up to him and you're, and he starts talking to him and you go, this is John Lennon. Yeah.

But John Lennon's not famous. So he's just a random guy talking to him now. And he's a sea, he's sort of a seafaring man. Yes. Yeah. So he has this conversation with this old guy. And he's like, oh, you're John Lennon.

And John Lennon's like, so what? And he's like, right, never mind. Oh. Are you? My God. Kid me, Reginald? That's really like, and it is like the big dramatic

conclusion of the movie. It's kind of well done. What? Doug liked it. I liked it. Doug liked it. How long is this movie? Oh no, we're going to have to watch it. We may have to watch this movie together. Sometimes we do watch Long's Biscuits. You could always come and do that with us. How have you seen all the movies you saw? We've never had a guess, much less a dog, watch a movie. How have you, how do you watch movies?

Well, I can only go to PG movies, which is a bit of a limiting factory. Why is that? I'm four years old. But they don't. know that. Well, wait. I mean, to outside appearances. That means you're 28 years old. Really?

Yeah. Great point. Don't you know about, oh, wait. I'm allowed to tell. Maybe we shouldn't tell them about that because that's kind of, you know, that's not great news. Yeah. Never mind. Do dogs die?

Oh. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. What's the answer? He's really excited and hopeful. Oh, dear. Oh, no.

The rainbow bridge. They don't die All they get to do is go to this amazing place called the Rainbow Bridge like Doug said It's actually like where every It's like everyone will be able Everyone is able to talk there And you get all the treats you want

Oh my God All the animals are there You can run around and play all day Go into the bathroom wherever they want Oh my God All the animals That does sound like heaven That's Doug's heaven too

That's awesome I gotta tell Brian Over a bridge You got it Yeah When you go into the movie theater So you still dressed up a human. I thought maybe you, okay, okay, got it.

I wear all the coats. All the coats. All the coats. I was just thinking you'd be an amazing, what is it called? Not a, well, service dog, but what do you also go? Emotional support dog. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, whoa. What a great, that would be a great job because then, you know, someone would know your secret,

but you could also just, you guys could talk and you would be such, you're such a good listener. Like I said, you're such a calm pan merini and it's crazy. To wear a smart vest. What? Calm meridian. This is amazing. I was, I knew you were going to say that. I just knew you were going to say calm. I'm sorry. Maybe he's a mix. I could do that.

Does it, okay, so I make $225,000 a year. Oh, never mind. Never mind. Keep doing what you're doing. Yeah, don't help people.

Yeah, so well. I got to figure out what to do with this money. Wow. Well, have you thought about some sort of charitable enterprise? I mean, there's a lot of, there's so many rescues.

There's so many rescues that are full of dogs. You can help other dogs. They're constantly needing help and money for, for shots and for medical, help. Oh, I could like get them jackets and well, you could get them jackets or get them homes. That's kind of what they want. Yeah. They want, okay, because my experience. I know. It's the opposite of I know.

My house feels too big. Oh, too big. Yeah. Wow. I feel like I have too much space in there. You could adopt some dogs. Oh, I could have a bunch of dogs hang out at my house. Why not? Absolutely. You would know how to take care of them better than anyone. Do you think, okay, do you think these other dogs would be freaked doubt by your speaking, would you speak English to them? Or would you just talk in dog language? We always speak English to dogs anyways. So if they think he's dressed like a, I know that.

I'm asking, are you saying he's going to talk to them appearing as a dog or dressed as a human? In your own home, you don't want to have to dress up as a human. Yeah, that's true. That's true. If they're coming over, they got to know what's going on. Yeah, they probably do. I hate to be this guy, but when a dog doesn't understand and can't talk, I'm sort of like,

you're not really like worth my time. Wow. I'm sorry to be that guy. Hold on. I do have a question about the talking thing. Okay. Okay. Here we go.

Have you guys looked under the counter? Is he using those buttons, those talk buttons? That's a lay out for Dodgers. We have a bunch of those. That's a great question, Doug. And I have a feeling. I have a feeling. That's why he uses his nose for other things.

I would say, I would say given the variety of inflection, Yeah, we have a ton of them. I know. Yeah. But he would have to know how if he's ever been here before. They're not labeled. Well, if they are, though they are labeled often, but if they're underneath the table, you wouldn't be able to know which ones.

And you'd have to have a series of buttons. You could be like Ray Charles on that thing. You'd have to have a series of buttons that describes the plot of Bye Bye By Birdie, sort of ready to go. I think that's what proves it, babe. I think that's what proves it. Bye, bye, by Bernie alone. Yeah.

It's too obscure for a dog. Yeah. No, I wish I knew what was going on. It's this me and Bray and Bray. Brian both. It just sort of happened this way. He doesn't know either. There has to be others.

I have a hard time believing it. It's just you and Brian. I really do. There's one guy who clearly understands this. His name's Snoopy, but we can't get him to talk. Wow. He won't,

but I know he's understanding it. And I'm like, he doesn't make any sounds at all. Um, not to my memory. He never goes, wow, wow,

okay, right. That's right. Maybe. Sometimes as he's leaving. He's, sort of says that under his breath. Right. And I'm like, it feels like an insult.

I guess I want to ask you this. And I maybe it's just because you're so chill. But maybe it's just the cause because of the way you're talking. Are you happy? Yeah. Okay. Okay. I'm doing great.

Okay. I love that I get to go, um, to the park. Sure. I can run around whenever I want. Yeah. That must be nice. Um, so we've talked about how I kind of like attacking the squirrels and stuff. Yeah.

And when, and then you posted about it about it. about it. Were you just, what were you hoping to get from that? And you do, you do, you, you, you confirm that it's an attack. Yeah. Yeah. If we're all being honest. Yes.

Yeah. As I was trying to kind of get to this. I think we can meet halfway a little bit. I'm going to be in that play, but maybe we all kill a squirrel together as a community. Just sort of. Halfway. It doesn't feel like halfway. One is murder, you know, and then one is amusing.

To us. Right. I guess, okay. Hold on a second. Is it murder to us? To kill a squirrel? It's cruel. It's a killing of a living being.

Yeah, but it's, I don't know if it's murder. All right. I guess I was just trying to show that it's, I find it way different than it being in a musical. Good job, babe. I think it's way different than being in musical. So I guess I was trying to be, I was trying to use the strongest word to prove my point. Absolutely. No, I was just wondering.

I was not trying to catch you. Okay, okay. I was, I was really just. I don't know if do you feel like you ever want a companion. Are you missing? That's what I'm trying to figure out. Are you missing the owner or not? Yeah.

Sometimes I think it would be cool to have a companion, but I don't really know. They tell me that part of being an actor is it's a lonely life. Who tells you that? The director playing Albert. Albert, probably. Of course, yeah. I think I know him. I think I know.

I think I might have done something up a long time ago. I think it's been divorced several times. Well, you know, I don't know that I'm ever going to feel like I want to go out and kill a squirrel. But I guess I'm just going to look at dogs really differently from now on after meeting you. I just watched a really interesting movie. There was a guy who invented some sort of guy. And then everyone was mad at the guy. And they all...

Which one? The invented guy? Yeah. Okay. Not the inventor. I think kind of both. Right. It's really, if I'm being honest,

tough to track what goes on in movies. Sure. Yeah. If it's not by by version. Especially which version you were watching of this movie, probably. But the whole community got together and chased him around with fire and weapons. Yeah. And I was like, the way I was interpreting the movie is, what a lovely moment that the community has come together and they're all closer to each other.

And so I figured maybe we all get, I've just found out what guns are. Maybe we get guns, knives, bomb. Oh, bomb. Bomb, just the one. Now that my owner's gone, I'm playing a lot of call of duty. Oh, okay. So we could get. Now the pause must come into play there.

It's all nose. What? It's all nose. Is the controller just on a table? Yeah, it's on the ground. It's on the ground. Okay. That would be exhausting.

I can't imagine. It's tough. I feel like you have to go down, then look up, down look up, down look up. It's really hard. You must get your butt whipped in that game. Yeah, sometimes I lose pretty bad. But other times we actually do pretty good because it's a team game. Right.

And how are you at the campaign? I am probably the leader of the group. I'm on the headset. I'm given a lot of orders. Headset is very natural for me. I like being in the headset because it's what I do for work. playing with other people. Yeah.

So they have no idea they're playing with a dog. Right. Is there not a campaign mode where you just play by yourself? I, um, I can't get to that one.

I got you. Like I can't, um, your nose just can't. It's like the telephone. Yeah. It's seemingly just sort of. Have you ever had any close calls where like you had a reaction

of something that you saw in the game and had a dog reaction instead of a human reaction? Well, one time someone's dog was talking shit. Yeah. Now this is, you overheard it. You overheard the dog talking shit.

Dog language. Yeah, so I can't say I know what he's talking about. So it was really tough for me. Was he talking shit at the owner or at you? You were talking shit on all of us about how bad we were at the game. Oh, wow. That's kind of a part of call of duty culture. Yeah, there's a lot of that.

But I couldn't say I knew what was going on. So I just had to. Oh, yeah, that is tricky. I had to be like, maybe you quiet your stupid dog down. Whoa. And then they got upset. I bet. But I mean, you probably could have barked on the headset and they would not have known it was you.

They would have thought you had a dog in the background. That's true. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's good to know for next time. I should create like a whole second. A skin sona. Yeah.

Yes. Excuse me. That's from Call of Duty? No. It's not. It's not all of the do. But it's it for furies. They have something called a fur sona.

Oh, that's fun. And then I think for if you're already furry. Yeah. Literally. Yeah. And you'd have a skin sona. Oh, okay. I don't.

I love learning new things. I don't like, I don't like furies. Oh, okay. Now, we should say on the show, we do not kink shame, but we do kink, boke, whatever. That's correct. So, and I guess I can understand being a dog yourself that you probably are feeling like. My culture is not your country. That's correct, correct.

I understand. Yeah. That's reasonable. Biscuits, this was a really, what a, what a milestone show this is for us because we've, we, here's what's weird. The only other animal, this is such a weird coincidence that we had that was, well, the first talking animal we had was a squirrel was a squirrel really yeah it's a good thing you guys weren't on together yeah yeah i would have freaked out i know yeah i bet you would have he probably would

have too um so where are we on all of us like getting together right this is going to happen um i'm sorry if i wasn't clear i should have been more clear about that okay i thought that i had said that i wasn't going to murder squirrel um all right i guess just like call to action for your listeners i don't know no i here's what we here's a compromising thing okay i'd be i'd be willing to chase a squirrel around. Okay. And if he goes up a tree to yell at him. Okay.

Okay. I will also chase a scroll around, but only if you agree to maybe adopt a dog. Okay. Well, this is actually good. Or even donate to a rescue, to a shelter. I'll adopt a dog so that when I'm playing Call of Duty, I can be like, my dog said that your dog was saying. However the reason, whatever gets the dog rescued, I mean, I don't know that that's

a better quality of life for them. Right. But, uh. But you could have the dog. talking to the other dog. That would be kind of fun. Oh, yeah. Saying, hey, knock it off.

It's a fun game. And if I have a dog, like, I'm in charge of him. Yeah. Yeah, but like, just remember, he's probably had a rough life. So just make sure to give him a lot of treats and a lot of biscuits. But I mean, somebody's going to be the alpha. I know. That's true.

That's true. The only community. You guys could just give money. Remember, you could also just give money. You could also just get to. Make sure to pee over his pee spots. Yes. Thank you.

Thank you, Doug. Had to do that with our boys. I wish I could see you. right now. Oh, babe, do you want to just come down real quick? All right.

I'll burrow over. Come through the diswasser. Burrow over. She's, I thought these were already built. They are. Okay. Isn't that the same?

Burrow. Okay. No, Burrow would mean actually doing the active tunneling. I see. Are you doing this inspired by DigDug?

I'm always inspired by DigDug. Did you take that game as a command? All right. Are you on your way? I'm on my way. I'm on my way. Tunkk. Tunkk.

Tunkk. Tunkk. Tunkk. Tunk, Tunk, who is that who is that who is that who is that who is that who is that who is that who is that who is that who is that who is that who is that who is this guy who's the guy now you're worked up I knew you get worked out because you sound right right that's Doug we just talked about this I didn't know that's what dogs are saying when they lick their face like that who's this guy who's this guy who's this guy but you are still licking them even though you're not sure you're going right to licking them can I really quick just leave you with this okay sure sure I hope it's Never had a guess. Call their own exit, but go ahead.

I hope it's not vomit. Best truck, ice cream truck. Okay. Worst truck, male truck. Sure. Ice cream truck. Where do you fall on garbage truck? Definitely in the middle.

Okay. Here's, and let me talk you through the logic. Okay. Definitely in the middle. Definitely in the middle. Let me talk to their logic. Yeah. Ice cream truck, great.

They don't come up to the house. Yeah. They give you your space. Maybe, maybe. you go out to it and then you come back with a special treat. True. That's great. Yeah.

Male guy, he's showing up. Doesn't talk to you sometimes. Most of the time, I'd argue. He's bringing things, leaving things. They're covered and you don't know what it is. Yeah. Right. Most of the time, not even for you, for someone else.

That's hard. Right. He's got those exposed legs. He's got the exposed legs. It's really that tempting. Are they really do something to you? Oh, yeah. Wow.

A glistening leg. Glistening. It was hot, sweaty day. Wow. Okay, maybe we should just give you some space. How do you feel about the UPS truck? I would consider that a male truck. Oh, okay.

Well, now, here's what I've seen. There's an Instagram account called UPS dogs. Okay. And all it is is UPS drivers greeting dogs who are thrilled to see UPS dogs. Oh, that's nice. Because they bring treats. That's it. Yep.

When the UPS driver shows up for me, he says, he says, shut up, you little twirp. Oh, no, I don't like that. But he whispers it really quiet so only I can hear. We do have some shitty UPS drivers here. Yeah, that's true. Garbage truck in the middle because they do come up to the house, but it's to get the garbage and take it away.

Right. And a lot of the times, I would argue the stuff in there is not garbage. Some of it's still good. But. Sure you would. They do leave a little bit hot. Sometimes they leave a little. trail.

Sometimes they leave a little bit and I appreciate that. And then throw up and then eat again. Yes. Yeah. Have you ever eaten something you've thrown up? No. Never in my life. Never.

I don't think I can do that. Don't knock it until you try. Don't think. I was the same way. Can you say something else that would sell me on it? I was the same way about eating chicken. Okay. I was at a restaurant.

You're at a restaurant. Well, because he was dressed in, you know. Yeah. Eating alone. Okay. And I was like. like, I don't want this. Did they think you were a food critic?

The sunglasses and everything. Mustache for sure. Doesn't say much. He's clearly a disguise. And they brought out the chicken and it was cooked in this sort of confusing way. It had seasoning all over it. But it was absolutely delicious. Okay.

And I just want to suggest to you, don't knock it until you try it. So wait a minute. Thrown up garbage to eat it tastes like a lovely seasoned chicken. That's what you're telling me? No, I wouldn't say they taste the same. The thrown up garbage tastes a little like a. acidic and like kind of whatever the original garbage was. It'll taste a lot like that.

But I just mean it's an experience you didn't think you were going to enjoy. And then maybe you do. Well, an experience I didn't think I would have and enjoy is talking to a dog today. And I want you to be well. I wish you well. And thank you for coming on here. And, you know, I'm rooting for you. Thank you.

You're a good boy. Thank you. You're a good boy. That means the world today. I'm so glad. Oh, his tail is going crazy. Thank you. so much. And if you two want

tickets to buy-bye birdie, sure. I should warn you. I have to see this. They've added an intermission. There's a lot more Albert scenes now. Oh, sure there are. I bet he has a song. Now it ends with Albert sort of becoming the rock star. Oh no. So they're like send bye by by birdie off to war. We got someone better right here.

This is, I'm going to be mad about this. But I do want to come support you. Of course. I support anyone in the arts. And then he sings Cherry Pie. Who? The Warren song? more. See, I knew it. I knew he was going to add a song for himself. It didn't even make sense. Is it still set in the 50s?

So that's the whole thing. And then they do the thing from back to the future where it's, hey, it's your cousin Marvin. No. No, they don't know. This sounds right. He's taking a lot of liberty. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm excited about it. Well, that's good. I'm glad. I'm glad you're excited about it. And thanks for coming on. Yeah. Thank you,

biscuits. And it's clear my friend was Brian Griffin. Yeah. Yeah, very clear. Very clear. We got that. We got that. We'll be back with more of the neighbor listen when the neighbor listen returns. Hello, it's Terry. Mr. Potato Head Scarecrow, $2. It is a plastic pumpkin that comes with the wooden head, two hands and two feet that you put together like a Mr. Potato Head, but it is a scarecrow. My mom went to a lot of arts and crafts boutiques, and I'm sure she. bought this and one of those. So what do you think that means? It means it ended up at Mon House.

Yeah. And don't ask me to explain the Mr. Potato Head part because, yes, I do understand that the only thing you put into the pumpkin part is the hands. And the rest of it is just a face on top. So not really like Mr. Potato Head, which is why I'm trying to get rid of it at $2. Thanks again, Mom. Okay. well that was again we never know what's going to happen that's really wild and you know it's funny

we didn't want a murderer we kind of got one but not like in the same horrible way yes exactly um but uh yeah i didn't i didn't see it coming at first i was just trying to figure he looked so odd to me and i guess i was focusing more on his looks than the words he was saying which i guess i now feel like what's like me man it's a great point john it's a really great book Now you've walked a while in my shoes. Sure. I'm good. I'll jump out of him out.

We understand each other better. Sure. Did you want to talk about yourself at all? Because this would be the time. No, I have nothing to say. Okay. I do. I mean, look, after that, we talked to a dog.

Okay, I know. How do we top talking to a dog? So far in the show, we think we've talked to a squirrel. Yes. We've talked to a parrot. Yes. Who talked to us as well. The headline is they talk to us.

They talk to us as that line. Um, maybe a goose. Perhaps a goose at the very tail end. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. And one ghost.

And one ghost. Yeah. That's right. I forgot about that. In 11 seasons, that's, that's, that's not bad. You're bound to get something like that. You're bound to. You're bound to.

You're bound to have a talking dog or a ghost. All right. We have time for one more post. Um, and this is in the, uh, the general section. This is from Alder. Alder has This one has a picture as well And

In the picture there's a line of parked cars On one side of the street Alder writes Headline Every time I pass this It just gets me so upset Alder goes on to say There is one guy who owns and moves

All these jeeps I think all Jeep Plus two more cars And takes up basically the whole street Pretty messed up to everyone around We all have to everyone around We all have to deal with available parking And especially street sweeping

So essentially one person taking up the space of seven Really bugs me Maybe I just have to vent But does everyone else see this? So wait, let me see the picture. I'll show you the picture. Okay. So Alder is just complaining

that there's cars parked on the street? Well, but that one person has all those Jeep. All those jeeps. And it belongs to one person? Alder's contention is that. that this person has seven vehicles that they are parking and moving around all the time. That is obnoxious.

So, I mean, I guess you can determine pretty quickly if it's one person because you would see them getting in and out of all these vehicles. That's what I would do. I just stake out and I would watch. It seems strangely he hasn't tried that yet. But then, no way, I think he has watched.

What's the thing in the middle? That just looks like one of those moving pods. What's that? It's a trailer. Oh, okay, all right. But what's that? Well, trail, maybe. Probably another Jeep in there.

Oh, can you imagine? What an insult to injury. Imagine one of those kids' jeeps? Imagine being that guy who has to move all of those for streetkeeping and finding spots. I truly cannot imagine a more hellish thing. Yeah. They're having to move seven vehicles.

Oh, God. For from one side of the street to the other. And some of them have that thing on them, the trailer. Exactly. Yeah, so you need even more parking space. Yes. That one, that one, and that one's in the middle. The Jeep with the train.

rail around it's in the middle. Now, we have to be careful because, you know, Jeep owners are a real tight breed. Did you know this? Did you know this? What's the Jeep salute? So when you're driving in a Jeep, nope, you're driving and you just do that. And you just, it's like a little hello. What I'm doing is basically taking my two fingers like a flight attendant might and does a little, hello.

And I had a summer job. I knew this was going to make you mad. I knew it was going to make you mad. But I did a summer job once where I was doing. Every car I see. I had a Jeep. I was, you did. For 20 years and I never knew that salute.

How did I never know you had a Jeep for 20 years? How have you guys been married for so long? And you didn't know. I always parked it out of sight because I didn't because you want to protect it. Again, it's a whole thing about Jeep owners and protecting them and then the salute and everything. But I did this job with a girl and she told me she said, just watch. And it was really crazy because we were in an area where there were a lot of jeeps every single time. They did the little thing.

Do you know, I have a friend who came to driving very late in life. Oh. and didn't start driving until he was 40 years old. This was your friend. Yeah, my friend. And when he started driving, he saw someone with the same car as he was driving. Which was? Well, I'm not going to say it.

Oh, got it. It's part of the story. I'm sorry. And he waved, you know, like, hey, same car, which he knew was a thing that people did. Okay. This person didn't do it back. Oh, that's terrible. So now it never happens.

to my friend. When he sees somebody driving, not only the same car, same color. But I would have never thought of that because I guess I just don't see every type of car as special as maybe another one, you know, or as rare as another one. I don't even think,

I wouldn't be driving a Silver Honda Civic and think, oh, I should smile at another Silver Honda Civic. Why not? Did you ever wave to other nitro burning funny cars? Good question, maybe. Oh, well, there is a nitro burning funny car salute. Oh, no. What is it?

Well, it's not so much a salute as if you see one coming towards you, then you're supposed to both swerve suddenly as if you're going to drive into each other. That is part of the salute? You fake is it. That seems very dangerous. You fake as if you're going to do it. Oh, people hate it. Oh, I mean, have there ever been any accidents for that?

No, no, no, no. We've got to talk to science. Okay, all right. But other people do not like it. You're like those guys do air shows who fly upside down and do a close pass past, but pass each other. Because you're professionals. That's right. All right.

I love an air show. I feel like we've talked about air shows before. Do you mean it? Because I really do love them too. Why would I lie about that? Because sometimes you'll say, I love something, something. And I can tell sarcastic.

I don't think I've ever been sarcastic on the show about something that I love. Oh, okay. That last part, sure, I agree with you. Fine. Not going to lie, I had you on the first half. Yes, you did. I feel like we might have talked about

the Dignity Falls Air Show too. And now we can't, since I don't remember it. I feel like we have, yes. I don't necessarily want to talk about. What do you love best about an air show? well just the majesty the noise I like when smoke is involved

colored smoke is involved starting to think that you're being started what babe oh I thought you said something yeah how loud it was okay he was just reiterating the noise

Doug loves the noise when colored smoke is involved colored smoke sure I love when one person is clearly dead and there's a space when they're flying in formation no bird what are you talking about now you might be talking about our show

but my goodness That can't be your favorite. That's not what it is. That's not that someone died. It's when someone ran out of fuel. It's up probably on a room. Why would they stay? Why would they leave the open space?

Why would they continue? Why would they just rearrange the formation? Byrd, why would they continue a show when someone died? It's a tribute to some. No, it's not someone died at that moment. Oh. It's a tribute to someone who has died. No.

Okay. Oh, no, Ted crashed. We still got to do the show. Like I said, I come from theater. You would do it on a stage. You would do it on a stage. Just do your normal spaces. No way we could fill that spot this best.

All right. Well, I'm relieved to know that that's the case. That's lovely. That's a lovely gesture. Because if that did happen, I think people would stop watching the show. I think they'll just be focused on it. I think so. I don't think the show must go out applies to air shows.

It should. It should apply to anything. My favorite thing about the Dundity Falls Air show is the paper airplane. part. That is fun. That is fun. Describe it. When they throw the paper

airplanes out of the real planes? Indeed. And they make a big life size paper airplane as big as like one that a human can fit in. That's a fun one. Yeah. I mean, yeah.

One year a guy was like, well, throw me. I want to try. Yeah. I know. I know. It was like when you see the footage of early attempts at airplanes.

Yeah. That's right. Just go. Oh, that was sad. He died. He fell straight down. He fell straight down.

And now when they fly paper. It was paper. The crater is still there. And now when they fly paper airplanes every year. Shape like a man. Yeah. Now when they fly paper airplanes every year, they fly it. But there's one missing.

So now you get it. And now I get it. To throw paper airplanes in formation. It really are. But they do it. It's very impressive. They do it. They do it.

They do it. They do it. How do they do it? Oh, no. Some people say they cheat. Mm-hmm. Yeah, the remote control. Yeah, a little remote control.

A little remote control. I think the bats are going to do that tonight at the, at the vigil for the two dead bats. That's right. They are holding a vigil. The bats are holding it. Somehow we can tell it was their idea. What are you guys wearing? Well, I mean, I don't want to be obvious, but I'm going to wear cake.

I don't think I'm going to attend. I feel like I have to, Bert. You understand. They happened on my watch during my show. I understood. But I feel that that's not my community. Do you know what I mean? Sure.

Yeah. I get it. Yeah. I don't necessarily. Like I'm intruding. I mean, they're theater bats in a way. So that's why I feel like I am kind of part of their community.

I love a theater bat. I love a theater bat. Honestly, they love to watch the show. So those two died doing what they love. Yeah. I'm going to put in my little Dracula fangs. Babe.

Out of respect. All right. They're not vampire bats, though. And they might get upset. they still have fangs right they do they do well yeah but if you if you know if you were going to an irish wake and you you showed up you know dressed like a beefeater exactly i don't think they'd appreciate it or with bagpipes you know yeah they wouldn't like it they might like the bagpipes oh very good um well uh i i i feel like i have talked about myself too much and now it's

there's an imbalance so if you're not going to say anything at this point no we run out of time close out the episode. We should close out the episode. But next time you're going to talk right away. Yes. I'm being blackmail and I'll talk all about that. But thank you for Thank you for listening this episode of The Neighborhood List and we'll be back

next week. We really appreciate it. If you want to hear ad-free versions of the show and get access to our bonus rooms, go to CBBWorld.com and sign up on the Maximus tier and then you will get not only these episodes without ads, which most of them are anyway, but you will also get

access to the bonus rooms, which are extra content that we do. It's extra episodes of the show where we do different things. Sometimes other shows jump in that feed. It's very strange. Somehow Palpatine returned. I put a rhubarb caravan rehearsal up the other day. I have some bad news for you, Doug. Oh, babe.

You haven't, I haven't told him yet. You haven't listened back to that? What did I, when I broke a strain? No, it's what you uploaded is. not the rehearsal. You actually didn't record any rehearsal. You started recording when your rehearsal ended, babe, and you had this conversation. So it's a band

meeting that you're having with two of the guys. You got the band meeting? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With Jam and Stewart? Yes. Sorry. Yeah, you should listen to it. That's why David hasn't called you back lately. I was wondering where he was. I thought he's getting ready for the school year. No, he's mentioned a few times in not a favorable way.

I mean, they say a lot of favorable things about him. Yeah. But they also say some things in the very knew my name. Really? The guy that you're in the band with? David Knight, the front hand? Yeah. I mean, he just sometimes acts so cool. It feels like

he's looking through me. That is discussed on the show. On the recording. You don't go listen to it right away. Yeah. All right. Goodbye. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed. The Neighborhood Listen

is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins. And me, Nicole Parker. And me, Brett Morris. This episode's guest was played by Chris Chalachian. The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang World. Go to CBBWorld.com to unlock the entire history of the show, ad-free, as well as brand new full-length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maximus subscribers.

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