The Neighborhood Listen - Stapling Trees, Cologne Covered Tools and Miss L's Silkie Chickens with Jaime Moyer

Episode Date: August 11, 2020

This week, Burnt and Joan discuss the Dignity Falls combination Carl's Jr. + Hardee's, stapled trees and Doug's mosquito problem. Plus, Joan invites Miss L (Jaime Moyer) onto the program to clear up some rumors about (Pop-Pop's?) silkie chickens.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Look out, Canadian listeners, this one's for you. Coho is a mastercard with an easy-to-use app that makes managing your finances easier. Coho lets you earn cash back, borrow, build your credit history, and so much more. Join over 1 million Canadians and sign up for your free trial today. Download Coho on Google or App Store today or koho.ca for more details. Plus, for any basketball fans out there, get a $75 e-gift card for nbastore.ca when you sign up with the promo code koho75. That's code koho75. Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website. That our network is scared for us to name for legal reasons, but you know which one it is.

All of the posts you hear our characters read are word-for-word real posts from this neighborhood website. Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. This episode's guest, Jamie Moyer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Your neighbor. Good. In Dignity Falls,

you're never alone. You've got the Neighbor Half-Aff and us. Bert. And Jode. From coyotes to mail theft to weird things to sell. We'll cover it all. And meet new neighbors as well. We'll chat about any posts you're missing. So just tune in to The Neighborhood Listen. And meet new neighbors as well. Welcome once again to The Neighborhood Listen.

I'm Bert Mia Payday. And I am Joan Pedestrian. And we are going to walk you through our neighborhood of Dignity Falls. Isn't that nice? Yeah. A little walk through the neighborhood. Yeah, which is a nice thing to do no matter where you live. It is, especially since the weather's getting nicer.

I really enjoy a nice, Doug and I love to take a nice stroll outside. Sure. Beautiful. Did you do that when you were courting? Oh, yes, we did. We did do quite a little bit of walking. Yeah, because I used to live down in the apartments right down by Maine. And so what was great is he would pick me up and we could walk downtown and go to dinner and go to a movie. You know, it was very, very sweet. It get around. But, you know, I used to live on that apartment complex that's right on Franklin Pierce Boulevard. King's Arms. King's Arms.

Yes. And the problem was that was a very busy street and I couldn't get across. Yeah, that is true. It was like Frogger. I could not. The old video game. Yes, I remember the old video game. It was very difficult to get across there.

Of course. I had to run. I had to. It was more of a run than a walk. Sometimes what I would do was my whole exercise would be getting to the other side and then going back home. And then it's time to go back home. And then it's time to go back home.

And then it's time to go back home. I always wonder, because of that traffic, was it loud in those apartments? Because they did go with that. It had that castle theme. It was extremely loud. Which I'm really glad they changed, because that was a real. It's like, unless you're Medieval Times, don't be like that. I mean, it had turrets.

It had turrets. Could you live in one of the turrets? You couldn't. They were community areas. You could not live there. But people would host game nights. Well, that's kind of fun. Yeah.

Sometimes we'd do like, once a year, we would do like boiling oil parties where we'd pretend we were castle people. I don't know what the word is. Knights? Sure. Okay. Okay. I don't know.

I don't know. I think you're probably right. I was confused as to the theme, to be perfectly honest. I was like, which kings, which arms, you know? Right. I think you're probably right. I was confused as to the theme, to be perfectly honest. I was like, which kings, which arms, you know? Right. I think you're probably right that they're called knights. And what we would do was we would, taking a cue from the Harlem Globetrotters, we would fill these big cauldrons with confetti. Oh.

And we would wait for the postman to come to the door. And, of course, you know, postman for an apartment complex, he's got a lot of stuff. Sure does. And we would start screaming old-fashioned curses at him and tell him to go away and then we would dump the... We would obviously make a big deal out of this is full of boiling oil!

We're going to reduce you to a skeleton, you scurvy knave! This is amazing that everyone really was on board in this building for this. We loved it. Well, wait, why'd you leave? Was it just because of the street? Because otherwise.

Because of the street. Because, you know, it sounds like you were happier then. It was a lot of fun, but you couldn't leave. I'm hearing a lot of joy in your voice. You couldn't leave. Well, I made a lot of good friends, lost a lot of good friends. Oh, what happened? I mean, none of us kept in touch. Everyone who moved out of that building, that was it.

I think people wanted to put it behind them. I know. Well, now it's a medieval-themed Starbucks for no reason. Yeah, and impossible to get to, but thriving. Still impossible to get to. Thriving. It's always crowded. As if we don't have enough in Stigney Falls.

My God, how many do we have now? Twelve? It's up to two dozen, I think. It's 24. Oh, boy, oh, boy. Yeah. That's one dozen too many. Yeah. You know, they make the joke about, I think. It's 24. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Yeah. That's one dozen too many. Yeah.

You know they make the joke about, I saw a Starbucks, it's not a Starbucks. I haven't heard that joke. They're building them. It's a good one. Is it? Yeah. It's the idea is that there's so many Starbucks. Oh, okay.

I guess it's self-explanatory. But what they're doing, which I think is strange, is they're building them on top of each other. So they're all in the same place. Like an actual hat on a hat. Like a hat on a hat. Wow. And, you know, some of them have elevators. Some of them don't.

Some of them you have to climb all the stairs. One has one of those ladders you see in a helicopter. Like a rope ladder? Yeah. That seems, I have not seen that one. Rope ladder, that's more convenient to say. I only go to the drive-thru on Poplar. I just go there.

Well, they're building one on top of that. No, they're not. And it's got a car elevator. But I don't understand. Why would you go to the top one when you can go to the bottom one? What do they have? If you've never ridden in a car elevator. I have not. Then you want to. I'm missing out? It's fun they have if you've never ridden in a car elevator i have not then you want to i'm missing out it's fun okay i've never i i obviously i you know i

don't have a car i bike everywhere right right right but i rented a car just so i could experience the car elevator and it is fun do you remember that thing when back in the day you're kind of you're drunk and it's late you think it's funny to walk through the drive-thru and they won't serve you when you do that. They won't do it. And I just think, oh, come on, you're getting the money. What difference is it to you? You know, they won't do it on a bike either. Oh, they won't.

See, that's what I was about to ask. Not that I, not that I, I am biking drunk, but never on purpose. But when I will, I've tried several times to go through the drive-thru of the, it's that combo Hardee's, Carl's Jr. Oh, yeah. It's the one where they couldn't decide who got the rights. So it's the only one. Those are strange.

If you don't live in Dignity Falls, it's the only one of its kind. It's a combo Carl's Jr. and Hardee's. Yeah. The weird one is the Walmart KFC off the highway. Here's my problem with that, is that I don't like KFC. Sorry. Well, they're not a sponsor. Oh, wow.

No, no. Certainly not now. But when I go shopping at the Walmart, I smell the KFC and it makes me hungry. I think that's the point. But then I don't like the food. What am I supposed to do? Just avoid, I mean, avoid Walmart together. I'm sorry.

I probably shouldn't say that. Well, they won't be a sponsor now. Oh, they won't be a sponsor now. Now it's your turn. Now you did it. I'm sorry. You were talking about the Hardee's and the Carl's. No, which one were you talking about?

It's the combo Hardee's, Carl's Jr. Okay, and what happened? I tried to bike through the drive-thru. Long conversation about the fact that I was on a vehicle. Uh-huh. They said it doesn't count because I'm not driving the bike. I'm riding the bike. And I said, the way I ride this thing, I am driving it.

Boom. I'm not cruising by the beach here. That's right. I'm getting stuff done. I have two baskets, one on each side by the beach here. That's right. I'm getting stuff done. I have two baskets, one on each side of the back wheel. It feels like it's up to interpretation whether you drive a bike or ride a bike. Do you know what I'm saying? Exactly.

But I feel as if I'm the pilot of my bike. You are. I've seen you. You are very in control. I'm not. Thank you very much. You're welcome. Thank you.

It's street legal. I have a headlight. I have taillights. Yes. You do signals. I do. I do all the signals. I have a horn. I have a bell. You do. I have a little speaker sometimes. So I can say on your right, on your right, you know, things like that. Bike stuff. And you have a fun umbrella that pops up when it's raining. When it's raining or it's too sunny or if it's too sunny very smart yeah well thank you well anyhow i mean that that sounds like a vehicle to me i think i would say so a car doesn't even have an umbrella that pops up uh no unless you're talking about a convertible well sure i mean i guess every car has a roof unless you're talking about a convertible. That might be the one. That might be the one hole in your argument. What about what about like an army jeep? No roof. Oh, well, then there you go.

That's just as much a vehicle as a bike. If you if if if an army jeep were to pull up to the drive through, would you would you refuse? Oh, now you're talking about our. Well, heavens no, because we're going to support our troops. We're going to support whatever they want to, whether it's a second Starbucks on top of a Starbucks or a Walmart fried chicken. Now, okay, that's, I feel like I dominated the conversation with my issue. You did not.

And I'm sorry. I wanted to know. I asked questions. How are things going with you and the world of musical theater? First of all, I am capable of not talking about myself for more than 20 minutes. I know that, Joan. He knows that. I know that, Doug knows that.

I have been making an effort to ask him what he did today. I specifically make it a point. I take an intake of air and I'm about to go. And then instead I change it to, what about you? Oh, so you, like midstream, you change it. Sometimes I have to. I'm working on it. For example, Doug. Where is Doug today, by the way?

I'm sorry. Oh, well, Doug is out in the, under the pergola. Oh, that's nice. You know, we've got the nice new outdoor furniture. It's such a lovely day. It is for now. Right. And I would have sat out there, but you know, mosquitoes absolutely feast on me.

I know. Why? It's strange because we don't have a lot of mosquitoes here, but you know mosquitoes absolutely feast on me. I know. Why? It's strange because we don't have a lot of mosquitoes here, but boy, oh boy, they all find you. I know, but we have those weird rains. We got that weird strain that came through with those weird rains last year, and I guess they're just here to stay. Very specific, real nasty ankle biters. Those rains were scary. So, Doug, how is it out there, outside?

Just covered in mosquitoes. Oh. Well, I thought that they didn't bite you, honey. I said that. I know I said that. But that turns out wrong. Oh, God. Well, light a citronella candle or something.

That turns out wrong. Light a citronella candle or something. Or I guess come inside. Well, he's got to pack up all the stuff. That would be a lot. We don't want to. Babe, do you mind if we maybe, can we just push through? Can we push through?

Yeah, I can push through. The recording's going okay, though. Okay, good. Good. Where's the citronella candles? You start to feel woozy. There's one right in the junk drawer near the breakfast nook. Just go grab one.

That's why that corner smells that way. Yes. I don't think you should store those candles in a drawer. They're very strong. There's just no room for them. I have a lot. It's a citronella drawer. I thought that'd be fine.

There's nothing else in there mingling. But the smell, the smell can... I know. It is very strong. I know of someone who stored a bunch of candles in a drawer in like a sort of credenza. And this is where this couple also kept their table linens. And boy, wouldn't you know that all the napkins and tablecloths and everything, they all smelled like scented candles. I mind that sometimes.

It depends on the scent of the candle. But you know what? I really hate when you said... Are you fond of citronella? That smell? No, no, no. Citronella, no. But are you saying they kept citronella with the linens? Or just candles? Different candles. See, depending on the candle, I don't mind it. I'm not... I don't... You don't mind? Like, if you go to wipe your mouth and it just smells strongly

of scented candle. No, what if the candle is called white linen, which is a type of candle? Oh, you've got me there, Joan. I thought so. That is a type of candle. Although, what if the candle is called white linen, which is a type of candle? Oh, you've got me there, Joan. I thought so. That is a type of candle. Although speaking of credenzas and candles, ugh, I dated a guy once in college. Do you remember those guys who would light candles and then the wax would just drip down?

I do. The furniture. You know what? Grow up. Give me a break. And that was what I loved about Doug. He hates candles. And so when i was like well

he despises he's already ahead of the other guy that's how we started out learning to like uh citronella candles though that's right yes yeah make sure you go and get make sure you go and get i'll talk about my my day and you go and get that candle i understand for doug's birthday he just prefers a nude cake like you you bring you sing. Well, careful. I don't know. Well, I mean, no candles. That's after everyone's gone. No candles. He loves... Joan! Joan! What?

What? We've been married for 25 years. What? You're very ribbled today. Oh, well, thank you. But he does not, he likes the happy birthday song, but does not want candles on the cake. Love the happy birthday song. He loves it. It's a great song.

So, you know, instead we sing that sort of twice and then we just don't do any candles. And he still makes a wish. I don't know what you make a wish on, but. Well, you're never supposed to tell. That's true. No, no, no. No. You're not supposed to tell what the wish is.

I meant. You're allowed to talk about. Normally before you blow out a candle, you make a wish. I meant it's upon a star. Oh, that's sweet. That's why we always have his birthdays in the middle of the night. That's right. is you're allowed to talk about making a wish on something. I miss his automastar. Oh, that's sweet. That's why we always have his birthdays in the middle of the night. That's right. In the middle of the night. In the middle of the night. But as far as musical theater goes,

well, now that Choreographer is back and we had a lovely meeting. Tim? This is Tim? I just can't remember his name. I think his name is Tim. We're going to have to go back and, Doug, I'm terrible. We're going to have to go back and listen to the episode where we... I don't think remember his name. I think his name is Tim. We're going to have to go back. Doug, I'm terrible. We're going to have to go back and listen to the episode where we.

I don't think we have to. Where I said what his name was because I can't remember. No, you know what his name is. It's Tim and we know it. Tim and we know it. Yeah. And he's got a lot of great ideas. Like we said, we're thinking of doing a My Fair Lady, but a very of the times 2019 My Fair Lady that tackles all the issues.

And I mean all the issues, Bernd. Because what we talked about this time was how to get sort of the refugee crisis into it as well. Oh, right. Sure. Which actually that one I think is a real short leap. Sure. I think it really is.

If you think about what London was going through at the time, at least that's what Tim said. I haven't looked into it, but he said it would be really easy. It's set in the 50s? you know, at least that's what Tim said. I haven't looked into it, but he said it would be really easy. It's set in the fifties. Oh, I'd say it's set more in the sort of the early 1900s. Okay. All right. In London.

1901. Sure. Well, we can do whatever we want to, because again, like I said, that's what everyone's doing. You can put it wherever you want to.

You could have everyone wearing Zubas. Yes. And you don't have to, I guess you don't have to explain it. You never have to explain it. You never have to. You could have everyone wearing Zubas. Yes, and you don't have to explain it. You never have to explain it. It seems like it. You just don't have to explain it. Why? Because it's art. You figure it out. You figure it out.

What does it mean to you? Exactly. I don't care if you're confused as long as it gets you talking. That's right. That's all it is. I just want to start a conversation. Even if the conversation is, what the hell is this? You know what I mean? That counts. Now we're talking. Speaking of conversation, there's a lot of great conversations that go on on our neighbor

app every single day. We use the neighbor app. We read real posts from the neighbor app that are from our neighbors right here in Dignity Falls. And Joan, would you like to start today? I would love to start today. It's actually kind of funny. This kind of ties into what we were talking about with candles and smells.

Marilyn writes, handyman needed, fragrance free, smiley face. If you are a handyman who doesn't wear fragrance, please call me as soon as possible. Referrals also appreciated. Have something stuck in my garbage disposal. Sorry, I read that wrong. As an amateur actor, that's got some punctuation. Have something stuck in my garbage disposal. Sorry, I read that wrong. As an amateur actor, that's got some punctuation. How something's stuck in my garbage disposal.

That's sort of, wow, it actually reads. I'm very sensitive to fragrance, as you probably guessed. And Marilyn left her full number. Marilyn. Wow. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

That's very trusting. Well, I mean. Well, you know, I mean, by and large, people, I guess it's possible that kids could get a hold of that and make some crank calls. They could.

They could. But she's really desperate to get something out of her garbage disposal. Now, here's my first question. Do we really think there's that many handymen out there that wear fragrances? Here's what I'm going to say. There's at least one who made a very powerful impression. Oh, that you had over to your place? I think I know who she's talking about.

Oh, oh, so this is kind of like an indirect dig at someone who's been a handyman locally and he really comes in heavy. It could be a sub post. It could be a sub post. Really? I can't see the comments underneath it because I just took a screen cap of this. Oh, what a dummy. Let's call him. Oh, you're being very Ugh, what a dummy. Let's call him.

Oh, you're being very hard on yourself. Okay. Let's call him Frank. Okay. I had an issue in my apartment. Is his name Frank? Yeah. I had an issue in my apartment.

I called the super. He says, I'll send a guy up. Sure. Now. Was this at King's Arms? This was at King's Arms. Obviously, I had to wait forever because... All the spiral staircases. That's right.

No elevator in the building. And I lived on the 12th floor. Just a dumb waiter. Just a dumb waiter. Yeah. Yeah. Just a dumb waiter. So he sends his tools up first in the dumb waiter. That's weird. That's just weird.

He calls me and says, I'll be, well, I mean, he's got to, he's got to walk up 12 flights. Fair enough. So I don't blame him for not wanting to carry the heavy bag.

Even the tools smelled like cologne. Oh. Yes. Like what kind, kind bag. Even the tools smelled like cologne. Oh. Yes. Like what kind? Like a very strong, like a cheap. It was extremely strong. Like an act body spray situation. It was sort of like a chemical version of a nature smell.

Oh. You had a very strong revulsion. Yes. And it smelled familiar to me. That's what was so strange about it. It smelled like the bag of tools smelled familiar. And then when Frank finally got to the door, I was having a problem with my refrigerator. Sure.

And it was one of those things where, you know, the old saw about, you know, how do you know that the light turns out when you close your refrigerator? Oh, sure. The Schrodinger's light. Yeah. Well, it definitely was staying on when the door was shut because I could see the light coming out around the edges. And it was unsettling. Oh, like Ghostbusters situation. That's what everyone says.

I've never seen the film. Oh, burnt. Come on now. Oh, well, we're going to have movie night, Doug. Doug, are you back? Are you okay? You're still covered in mosquitoes. I mean, brush some of them off.

Put a hoodie on. You don't have to just sit there and be covered. Good golly. I'm picturing he's just sitting there not doing anything like a water buffalo. Just taking it. Flick your ears, Doug. It's anything. So Frank finally gets to the door and he smells strong.

Like it is this chemical nature smell. And I realized what it is. He's got one around his neck. He's got it in every pocket. It's car air fresheners. The ones like the little pine trees. No. Oh, no.

Which kind? Which flavor? Pine. Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't hear you say that. Did you say that? I did not say that.

Pine is my least favorite of those. It's strong. It's strong. Oh, gosh. I think I'm going to. That's awful. And I wanted to ask him, why are you doing this? Sure.

But it was so, this was such a strange thing to me. I was, I was, I, something was telling me, don't ask him. Don't ask him why. I think that,

I think that was a good instinct. Yeah. And, and how did he, did he fix your refrigerator? He did a great job. Yeah. Did a great job.

So he's good, but you just got to get past that. Now you're thinking that Marilyn probably had an experience with Frank. Oh, by the way, the fridge, what turns out, the door just wasn't closing all the way. And that's why all my food was going bad. So that's all he truly had to tell you. I thought the light was making it bad. We don't quite know if he's a good handyman because anyone, it sounds like, could have

come in and told you that probably. Did he use any of his tools? No, he just really, just really closed that door hard. Well, listen, Marilyn, it sounds like as long as you avoid Frank and Frank, if you're listening, ease up on the pine. Right. He don't. There's cologne out there. Yeah.

I mean, there's soap. Like, what are you trying to cover up? But that's just creepy. That's like some, you know, that's like Seven. That movie Seven. That's like a serial killer type stuff. I don't like that. That creeps me out.

Maybe someone threw up on him. I mean, when? Right before he got there? Every time? Well, two times that we know of. Oh, boy. Well, anyways, Marilyn, I hope you find a fragrance-free handyman. I get it.

I understand what that's like. Doug's, my mother-in-law, is basically allergic to everything. Hates fragrances of any kind. I'd have fake flowers at my wedding. Do you remember that? Oh, it was a real hassle. It's still just as expensive. Oh, in some cases, even more so if you want them to look good.

Because you have to make them. I mean, nature makes real flowers. But that's, well, no kidding. There's no middleman. I mean, well, the florist is the middleman. Well, she, you know, that wasn't for Kathy. She was not interested. What do you got, Burns?

Well, this is Courtney. Courtney posted this. She accompanied with an accompanying photo. Nails and staples and trees. Oh. When did it become acceptable to start nailing and stapling signs to trees again?

I'm seeing more and more of this. As in this yard sale sign stapled to a center median tree in Dignity Falls. Now, I'll be honest. I didn't know this ever went away. Did that ever, whatever went away? Well, stapling and nailing things to trees. Oh, you mean like her saying it's bad? Yeah, I agree with you.

Was there a point where we weren't allowed to do that anymore? I thought you were referring to the sign. Does she put a picture up of the sign? She puts a picture up of the sign and it says yard sale. Okay. You know, you can't really make out what it says under yard sale. Presumably the address. Sure.

But it doesn't look. Yeah, that's been a thing for a long time. Yeah. But this makes me think that at some point we were told we're not allowed to do that. Now, I'm trying to think back to any of the homeowners associations that I work with closely as a realtor. And I can think of a few meetings that were had about that. But that was mostly about putting them on streetlights and taping. You can't do anything

at all without approval in those things. There's benefits. There's pros and cons. Maybe that's what she's talking about. I bet you she lives in an HOA. I bet you she does. What's her name? Her name is Courtney.

Does that ring a bell? Well, I mean, it sounds... I buy it. I buy that she's going to make a way. But she's talking about just seeing a tree with a sign stapled on it. She doesn't say like, this is right out in front of my house. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, what does it bother her? It's like she's

driving by and sees this. But also, I mean, are we afraid? Is it disrespectful to the tree to put a staple in there? You know, I got to tell you, I'm not quite sure of that. I mean, back in the day, wasn't it Robin Hood? And they put a wanted sign on a tree. Wasn't it attached with an arrow? I don't know if that's historically accurate.

A flaming arrow. Or a dagger. Well, not a flaming arrow. That would burn up the sign. Exactly. Yes. I think that it's more dangerous to put a yard sale sign in the middle of a median tree where someone might be cramming their neck.

Courtney could have even gotten into an accident being so damn busy worrying about it. Exactly. This is a whole other. You shouldn't take pictures from your car. No, no, never. You shouldn't be doing that. Oh, no. So let's not let's not throw stones, Courtney.

Oh, you think she took it? Did it? Is it blurry? Does it look like she was moving? I can't tell. I can't tell if she was moving. OK. But definitely it looks like it was taken from a car window.

Yeah. You know, I think that where I think we're missing the point here, which is don't take pictures from your car. Exactly. And I know, and if you got to put something on a tree, just use a, just use one staple. It's all you need. Or I guess, um, I'd say two gum. Use, you're going to throw your gum away anyway. Yeah. Just use gum. use no you're gonna throw your gum away anyway yeah just use gum i'm so sick of seeing gum everywhere i wouldn't mind it behind a flyer on a tree and you know the tree wouldn't mind either no you know how about a gum tree you know it's practically sap it's practically sap just you know what giving it back give it a back isn't there sap and gum? Oh, give it a back Oh, yes

What did you think I said? Give it a back And I was like Give it a back Give it a back All right Well, we do have to take a break When we return

Doug, did you get a sweatshirt? No, I'm afraid to move I think they All right, we're going to take a break And I'm going to bring Doug some clothing No, I'm afraid to move. I think they... All right, we're going to take a break and I'm going to bring Doug some clothing, okay? I'm going to bring you down some clothing. Maybe a couple citronellas. I think they like the smell now.

Oh, that's not possible. All right, we'll figure this out. Yes, we will. You go to the break. We're going to take a break. When we return, we will have our guest right here on The Neighborhood Listen. on the neighborhood listen fleece fleece and more fleece hey it's Rebecca here

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I'm attaching 2,500 pictures. And welcome back to the Neighborhood Listen. Well, we have our guest, Joan. We do. We have our guest, and I just want our listeners to know that Doug now is sitting in a sweatsuit outside, and I'm hoping right now that

he's not going to be plagued anymore by mosquitoes. So, you good, babe? I think so. There's one really large mosquito I'm thinking might be the queen or something. I'm not sure that that's a thing in mosquito culture. Mosquito queen? I don't know. A mosquito queen? I'm thinking it might be the queen or something. I'm not sure that that's a thing in mosquito culture. Mosquito queen?

I don't know. A mosquito queen? I'm not sure. I don't know. All right, honey. Well, I'll check in with you again. Don't forget to just swat him away, all right? Don't be afraid.

What a bummer to be in mosquito weather wearing a velour tracksuit. I guess. I know. Well, look, it's all I could find. I know. I understand. I mean, it's a quick fix. It's not a long-term solution.

It's a quick fix for now because we've got our guest here. It's a band-aid. Yes, we have our guest. So now this guest is actually the subject of this post that I'm about to read. Okay, this came from Lila, and it just says, Hello, my husband was taking our dog out for bathroom duties when he heard noise coming from our neighbor's yard. Due to previous skunk issues with our dog, he brought our dog back in and went to go investigate the noise.

None of that seems really necessary, but that's okay. Our neighbor has a coop of silky chickens. He noticed a suspicious-looking woman asked if she lived there, and she replied that she does, and she was putting the chickens away due to previous burglaries.

He noticed she was stuffing them chickens away due to previous burglaries he noticed she was stuffing them in a plastic trash bag and he decided to record her on his phone once she noticed that she was going to get recorded she ran out of the property taking a few of the chickens he was not able to get a video or picture of her please be on the lookout for anyone with new silky chickens our neighbor was not at home but we left a message with the adjoining duplex and i'm just going to tell you i was at the farmer's market over the weekend uh picking through um a bunch of you know i'm starting a new cleanse but it's not even i'll talk about that later uh but it's all green i have to eat everything green so

i'm picking green things out and i saw this woman and she did have, the first thing I noticed was a trash bag that was kind of moving. And I just thought, now, hang on a second. I had just read this post. I approached this lady, lovely, and asked her if she indeed takes care of silky chicken. She said, yes.

I told her, look, I think someone maybe has the wrong idea about you and posted about it. And would you like to come explain things? Because I don't want people to start getting the wrong idea about her. Of course not. So, anyways, please welcome Mrs. L. Is that correct? Miss L. Oh, Miss L.

Yes. Miss L. Welcome to the Neighborhood Listen. Thank you for having me. I'm glad I can finally clear my name and explain exactly why I had those silky chickens in the first place. Were you, now were you, you go. I have so many questions. First of all, I don't know what a silky chicken is. Well, I do, but could you please tell everyone?

Oh, okay. There are two types of coat on any chicken. One is coarse, painful to the touch. And the other is silky. It's really a tactile. I did not know that. Painful to the touch. I never heard.

That's how coarse this chicken's coat is. Oh, she's brought a picture here. Wow. Yeah, because she didn't let me look inside the bag. I see. Well, they are gorgeous. Are these your silky chickens? They're very shy, yes.

They look like they're wearing wigs. If you Google silky chicken, you will see they look like Muppets because all you can see is a beak. They're like a sheepdog chicken. They're like a sheepdog chicken. Yes. Well, isn't that interesting? So that means every other chicken we see has that painful coat.

You don't want to touch. I do not. Painful to the touch. What is so special about the silky chicken other than their look? Do they produce better eggs? And why do you have these silky chickens? Two-part question. Sorry.

Listen, that post was erroneous. Yes, I did go into the backyard and place those silky chickens into a hefty bag. But what you don't know is the backstory, the history I have with those chickens. They were raised on my Pop-Pop's farm and sold to that terrible

neighbor of yours who kept them in a coop. This is Lila. Yes. No, yes, Lila. No, no, Lila's neighbor oh her her neighbor lila's the snitch lila's the snitch snitch or the good citizen well we are going to determine which uh-huh and her husband is the very slow moving man with the dog that he had to put away. Because of skunk issues. And skunks are very soft. Their coats, very silky. They look very soft.

Every time I see a skunk, boy, I want to just hug that guy. I know, but you just can't. You can't. He won't let you. You'll have to cover yourself in car pine trees. Do you think that's what happened to him? It could be. Maybe that's who Lila's husband is.

Now, so here's the thing. You're saying that this neighbor has these silky chickens wrongly? There's a story about that? Are they in danger? Were you trying to save them? Let's say that, yes, I was. These chickens were raised on Pop-Pop's farm. And they were sold to this neighbor and put in a coop no chickens belong in

garbage bags is that you have a question i have a question about that may i ask the question because i bet we have the same question i bet we do is that the best way to to transport these chickens they don't like the sun. They need darkness. And then they roll around and they're on top of each other like three silky balloons bouncing about in a bag. It's true. We don't know what time of day this occurred. That is true. Lila does not say that it happened.

And I assumed it happened at night because of bathroom duties. Of course. And because of bathroom all day long. That's very true. I have to go back, though. You apparently told Lila's husband that you were putting them away due to previous burglaries. At that moment, were you lying? And you said you lived there.

Explain how that's erroneous. Those were the two lies. Those were the two lies that I told. You guys have caught me a regular. Cagney and Lacey, yes. Well, it wasn't hard, to be honest. Those were the lies. Those were the two lies that I told. You guys have caught me a regular Cagney and Lacey. Yes. Those were the lies. Those were true. Yes, I panicked. I panicked

when I saw the man fumbling with his phone, unable to put in the code and videotape me like a normal person. It did sound like he had a real trouble. Yeah, you had plenty of time to prepare. Well, he had bathroom duties on himself. He pee-peed in his pants. He was so nervous.

Oh, my. But now, Miss L. Yes, please. I don't know if I can believe that because you've already copped to telling two lies. We've all told two lies. You probably both have told two lies today. Sure, but not about where I live and maybe-

And what chickens I was stealing. and what chickens I was stealing. And what chickens I was stealing. Those are my lives and I own them. But I have a history with these silky chickens. They were raised on Pop-Pop's farm. Sold to this neighbor. Just outside of Dignity Falls in Wallop.

And I wanted to be reunited with them. My entire home is filled with soft, silky things. And these chickens were ones that I frolicked with in their youth and in my own youth. They are old. How old are these? I don't know how long-lived chickens are. What are you trying to say about how old?

I'm sorry. That was a strong reaction. I didn't mean, I just was not sure that chickens lived even past 10 years. Exactly. I assumed that the average lifespan of a chicken is two years tops. Oh, two. You're giving them a leap. That's true for the coarse-coated chickens of your local grocer.

Oh, those are the chickens. I'm thinking of the coarse-coated chickens of my local grocer. These silky chickens can sometimes live up to 80 years. They are the large turtles of the chicken family. These silky chickens can sometimes live up to 80 years. What? They are the large turtles of the chicken family. It sounds like an African gray parrot, except it just goes bawk bawk. It doesn't learn any language.

That's exactly. It's as if you're reading from my journal. Do the silky chickens... What? Now, this. L... If I had to guess, maybe tops, I'd say they live nine years. Mrs. L, I just Googled it. Oh, you just Googled it? I hate to call you out on this, but this says their lifespan is nine years.

Fine, the third lie. Okay, great. You two have got me again, Benson and Stabler. I... Fine, fine. Yes, nine years. Fine. These were not Pop Pop's chickens.

They were the offspring of the chickens that I frolicked with. Well, now, Miss L. That's the last lie I'm telling. I promise you. Are you promised that's the last lie? Yes. All right. So you recognize these chickens as the descendants of the chickens of your youth.

That's correct. And I saw them in a pen in the backyard of a skunk-filled, festering neighborhood. And I thought, no, no, boo-boo, you come home with me. I can pet you and rub you next to my silken sheets. And you put them in the trash bag and you took them home. Yes. Now, what are the other silken items that you have in your home? I wanted to know that, too.

I want to get a picture of this. Yes. Kimonos. Oh. Very silky. Several kimonos. Uh-huh. Silky pillowcases.

French silk yogurt. Chocolate. Chocolate yogurt. You mean like the soy brand silk or actually like no the soy brand silk is very expensive it is silky curtains

from Macy's and rugs made of cotton okay yeah I mean it makes sense and rugs made of cotton. Oh. Hmm. Okay. Yeah. I mean, it makes sense. That makes sense. I try to have silky rugs.

It doesn't seem practical. They stain. And also you probably slip. You slip. You fall. I broke an arm. Oh, my. That's a lie.

No, that's four. Damn it. I never broke one. You don't even gain anything from that lie. I don't understand. Well, you know what? There's less time in between the lie and the admittance of truth. That's true. So I think I never broke one. You didn't even gain anything from that lie. I don't understand. There's less time in between the lie and the admittance of truth, so I think

we're getting somewhere. I sprained my wrist, sliding around my kitchen on a silky carpet. You put it on the kitchen floor. I put it on every floor in the home. Oh, I am glad that you put cotton down instead. That is very dangerous.

And the chickens just live. Do you have any other animals that are silky? I have a velveteen rabbit. It is a stuffed dog. That's very tactile. And an accompanying story. A book that comes with it.

You have a stuffed animal, dog, that you call a velveteen rabbit? No, it's a velveteen rabbit. It's a stuffed animal dog that you call a Velveteen Rabbit? No, it's a Velveteen Rabbit. It's a stuffed animal from the John's Army. Oh, you have the stuffed animal. Where did you get that it was a dog? I could have sworn she said dog. I didn't hear that.

I am really not. My hearing is a little off today. I do apologize. No, it's quite all right. I just want to make sure you're okay. July, he was playing her music very loud last night. Oh, boy. And it was making me very angry.

And I told her. I told her it was going to affect the podcast. And look at it did. Yes. I thought it would affect me sleep-wise. It's affecting me hearing-wise. My apologies. No problem.

My apologies, too. My apologies to both of you for the last. Okay. All right. I misspoke. Let's have fun with that. We were having fun with that. Well, you know, when I saw you at the farmer's market, I don't know if you realize this,

but I was fingering the sleeve of your coat. I did not notice that. That's why I was so close to you. Were you wearing that silk trench? I was. That item, it is a signature piece. Thank you. I can't believe

I've never said this. I love that coat on you. I think it looks dynamite. And it's a real conversation starter. Oh, it's gorgeous. Even though we've never spoken about it. I deeply appreciate it. You know, I put it on when I just want to. It's my little escape in the morning.

Doug's still asleep. I get the kid. July P's still asleep. I get my coffee. I walk down there. And I kind of escape. I kind of feel like a different person when I throw that on. You see, this is why I'm a silkophile.

You feel the material against your skin and suddenly you're sliding around. I was sliding around in my own other persona. I will give you that. It really does. It is transformative. Silk is transformative. It is transformative.

And Miss Ella, you're wearing several layers of silk. Yes, under this I'm very tiny. Oh. You're just a little head. I'm just a tiny woman. A little head wearing a silk hat. Yes. And then, just go outward

from there. A silk do-rag on my head. Oh, look at that! But you're just, you sort of, you balloon out like a shiny violet Beauregard. Yes. Thank you. That's exactly right.

Beautiful, beautiful, eloquent. Well, thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Are you single? Are you married? Do you have children? I live alone.

Oh, you live alone. And you've lived all your life in Dignity Falls. Yes, once I moved from Wallop. And any brothers or sisters? Only child. Pop-Pop raised me on the farm. What happened to your parents? If that's not too difficult a question to answer. I was found in a tree.

By your Pop-Pop? In a tree. There was a note stapled to the tree that said, please help this child. And an arrow. My parents must have really struggled to place me so high up and yet cared enough about me to put the note. Were you a baby? I was 14 years old.

But I had amnesia. And at that point, I didn't know anything about my previous life. I've never met a person that I know of that had amnesia before. It wasn't me. I am you. It's what? Oh, that sounds like something else than amnesia. What do you mean by that?

Fine. I misspoke. You've got me again. Heart to heart. I misspoke. I apologize. I just I don't know if you were trying to maybe do a thing like, oh, what's her name? She ran for Senate and she got accused of being a witch.

And then she had to make a video that said, I'm not a witch. I'm you. Oh, I know who you're talking about. I cannot come up with the name. O'Donnell O'Connell, something like that. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Sandra Day O'Connor. Sandra Day O'Connor.

Sure. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Sandra Day O'Connor. Sandra Day O'Connor. Sure. She, in order, because she was being blocked for nomination to the Supreme Court and she had to make that video. I remember that. It played on all the networks.

This is back when there was just the three channels and she had to say, I'm not a witch. Oh, that was wild. Yeah. All right. So now, hang on a second. Which lie did you tell now? Which part? That you were, had amnesia or that you were found at 14 in a tree?

No, those were both true. I just misspoke when I said I am you. That was just a misspeaking when she said I am you. You're sticking with amnesia. It's the truth. Wow. And so these two people who are not your parents saved you?

I imagine Pop-Pop was... Pop-Pop saved her. Her parents put her in the tree. No, I know, but they became your parents. Or was there a mother at all involved? Was Pop-Pop married to a woman parents put her in the tree. No, I know, but they became your parents. Or was there a mother at all involved? Was Pop-Pop married to a woman? Yes. Mop-Mop.

So my understanding is your parents abandoned you at age 14. Yes. Stuck you in a tree. Pop-Pop and Mop-Mop raised you. Yes. Which again, I mean, to go 14 years and then say, well, that's it. Yeah. Seems.

Yes, it seems. Rude. The perfect word you know teenagers are difficult you're going through you must know no one knows that

I will tell you every once in a while I want to stick her up in a tree that is true yes that is true yes

oh boy I was I wasn't very I was much like Nell Tay in the wind yes Chicka Pay

Chicka Pay and Chicka Chicka Pin chicken silky chicken see it all comes so you didn't have much language when they found you Tay in the wind Chickapay Chickapin chicken Silky chicken So you didn't have much language when they found you No I only knew You were 14 years old

I only knew that from the 14 marks On my arm To signify my age Had your parents put those on? Who knows What's the earliest memory that you have? Papa putting that ladder up to the tree. Oh, that's it.

And then I fell as he tried to gather me. I fell. Into his arms? No, right to the ground. How far of a drop was that? Actually, maybe I didn't have amnesia until that moment. Oh, dear. Oh, no.

That could be it. That could be it. I know you guys are very much helping me come to terms with my past. Well, that's good. I hope that's helpful. Have you thought about falling out of another tree to maybe get your memory back? That is a wonderful idea. Well, I don't know how sound the science is, but I'm going from black and white sitcoms. Yes, it's like a yin-yang.

And certain romantic comedies. And certain romantic comedies. Yes, yes. Well, may I use your tree? Well, I mean, you can. I just, do you think it'll work? Would you like to go and try right now? Doug's in the backyard. I would love to.

All right. Do you like the lower? That's Doug that you hear in your headphones. Yes, well, Mrs. L is love to. All right. Do you like the lore? That's Doug that you hear in your headphones. Mrs. L is going to come through. She's going to come outside and she's going to climb the maple tree and she's going to

try to fall out and let's see if she gets her memory back. Okay, I'll be back or not. Doug, can you tell us what's happening? Do you see her? Yeah, she's caressing my velour This is wonderful She's making the craziest sounds I assumed she was climbing the tree

So did I Tell her to climb that tree, Doug Just let me get one more rub in This was not a good idea No, that's your husband Tell her to climb the tree She's doing a very good job, actually Oh, good Tell her to climb the tree. She's doing a very good job, actually.

Oh, good. She's getting right up there. All right, now tell her that whenever she feels like it, just be ready to help her, Doug, because she's going to jump. Please don't jump. No, no, we told her she could. She's trying to get her. Tell her she should just let herself naturally fall out of the tree. Yeah, just fall out of the tree.

Okay, just fall. Sounds like she's way ahead of us. She climbed up so much higher than I thought she was going to. She's not even halfway there. She hasn't even hit the ground. I didn't realize how high that tree was. Oh, it sounds like she hit. She just landed perfectly.

The perfect dismount. Is she, is she, is she moving at all? She's yes. Uh, ask her to come back in. Okay. Yeah. She's coming back in. This is L.

I can't believe how high you climbed. The silk aided in my movements up the tree. Oh, like a parachute? Absolutely. Like a reverse parachute. I thought you meant on the way down. No, she said it aided her climb. I know now.

You know now. Now when I hear it. When I hear it back, I know now. When you hear it back, you realize the order of the words. That was exhilarating. It was something to listen to. I won't lie. It sure was.

Now, let me tell you. What's the first memory you have if you think about it? It's falling out of the tree. Still. Wait, this one? Wait, this tree now? Oh, no. I fell out of a tree.

Oh, that didn't go the way I thought it would. I feel very responsible. I feel 100% responsible. What am I doing here? Oh, dear. No. Oh, no. I fell out of a tree. Oh, that didn't go the way I thought it would. I feel very responsible. I feel 100% responsible. What am I doing here? Oh, dear. No. Oh, God. Show her a picture of a silky chicken.

Look at this. Does that ring a bell? What a disgusting creature. What is that? I don't know. That's the first word I'd say. Show her a coarse chicken. What do you think of that?

What do you think of that? Delicious. Okay, so she knows something. So, oh, yikes. This is, I was not expecting this. I was not expecting this at all. To be honest, it was probably fairly irresponsible of us to do this. 100% agree. Absolutely. We should not have done that. I would take it back if I could.

Yeah. We can't. No. Mrs. L, my name is Joan Pedestrian and this is... I'm Burton Mia Payday. We're doing a podcast about the neighborhood L, my name is Joan Pedestrian, and this is- I'm Bert and Mia Payday. Yeah, we're doing a podcast about the neighborhood, which is Dignity Falls, which is where you live. Oh, I like this. You moved here from Wallop. You were raised by your Pop-Pop and your Mop-Mop.

Those are ridiculous names. I suppose if there's anything to be said for it, she won't be stealing silky chickens from that neighbor again. One would assume. But maybe we should take a break and call an ambulance. I think that's best. And then we will be back with more of the Neighborhood Listen. Sure. It seems odd.

We're going to continue. But continue we must. We have to. The show must go on. We agreed we would record the show. The show must go on. We agreed we would record the show. The show must go on. The show must. You know that better than anyone.

I sure do. We'll be right back. Bye. Hello, this is Timothy. And I have a luxury leather tray that I'd like to part with for $300. Warning, this is an expensive item. $3 signs, not for bargain buyers. This is only for people who understand the highest quality and want it in their home.

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This is a luxury item for luxury people like me and maybe you. Welcome back. That was quite something. It really was. The paramedics came. Yeah. They took Mrs. L. And they took her vitals.

They said she was stable and fine. It's just a matter of her having amnesia for a second time again. Yeah. And I feel very responsible. And forgetting even more. And I want to apologize to our listeners if that was triggering or upsetting or very irresponsible. Not if. That was very irresponsible. It was extremely irresponsible. I hope you understand we were just trying to help her.

We were trying to help. She said she had amnesia. She fell off a tree. Look, it seemed like a logical. There's no point rehashing it. I just feel terrible. You heard what happened. I just feel, you heard what happened. I feel terrible. And, you know, watching the paramedics ask her all the usual questions, who's the president? What day is it? What's your name?

And she could not answer a single thing. A single thing. No, she really couldn't. And just kept talking about coarse chickens, really. That's all she kept talking about. Yeah, and her mouth was watering. So what I would say is that if any of you have any coops with the coarse chickens, I would

definitely be on the lookout tonight. Yeah. Because my guess is she'll somehow get out of the hospital sooner than she should. And I am going to go check on her right after this, actually, though, just to make sure that she's okay. Here's what might keep her there. If the hospital gowns are very coarse because she seems to have. She switched. Something seems to have switched.

She's gone from loving silky things to loving coarse things. Yes. So, I mean, maybe we should go from loving silky things to loving coarse things. Yes. So, I mean, maybe we should go over there and we should bring her a scratchy sweater. That's not a bad idea. Okay. I mean, Doug's got a few. I'll just bring some of his. Speaking of Doug and scratching, Doug, how are you doing with those mosquitoes?

Well, my face is not covered. My body's doing okay, but they've just sort of congregated on my face. I can't. Just keep swiping away at them. You just don't have to. Yeah, I just don't want to disturb. You don't have to be still. No, I know.

You're thinking that it's going to disturb the recording. I don't know that it'll disturb the recording necessarily. Oh, boy. I don't think so. Putting your hand up to your face. The recording comes first. I guess. Well, Doug, that's very noble of you.

Very generous. So faithful. I let Mrs. L fall, and I just recorded it. Well, to be fair, we did tell you, but I'm sorry. That had to have been traumatizing for Doug. Everyone knew. Doug had to sit and watch that happen. Yeah, it's true.

It's true. But I mean, we did. I feel like we told him exactly what was going to happen. I think we were clear, Doug. I think what we did not expect is that she would go so high up that tree. Definitely did not.

Right up to the tippy top, it sounds like. Definitely did not. Yep, right up to the tippy top, which I've never been up there. I don't even think my kids ever, I don't think my kids ever went all the way up there.

No. I said they weren't allowed. It's an almost impossibly tall tree. It didn't occur to me to warn her that way, but I guess if she spent her life in trees, you know, then anyway. I don't know that she spent her life in trees, you know, then anyway.

I don't know that she spent her life in trees. Well, maybe, but her only memories each time were of a tree. It's almost like that's where she came from. As far as she knows. Oh, gosh. If you see anything, obviously say something, but just know that maybe there's a deeper explanation to what's going on with your neighbor. Or if someone looks like they're down to some suspicious activity, maybe try to ask more questions and be more understanding. That's what we try to do. We try to bring people in here and try to help them.

I don't know if we did in this situation. Here's what I'm going to say. And I feel like it all comes down to this. And tell me if you agree, Joan. If you see someone in your neighborhood putting any kind of animal into a trash bag, don't jump to conclusions. Maybe call the hospital. Or animal control. Or animal control.

Call them both. Call them both. I think that that's a good, I think that that's a good policy to move forward with. I think that's what we, we have to take a lesson from this. We must. Otherwise, it's for nothing.

I mean, and I don't want that to be, although I do think it was a great episode. I think, you know what I think? I mean, a lot happened. So much happened. I think people are going to be talking about this one. It might go viral. Is that the, is that the word?

That is the word. Well, anyway. Please talking about this one. It might go viral. Is that the word? That is the word. Well, anyway. Please be safe this week, everybody. Please watch out. Let's look out for each other. Let's not have skunk issues. Don't have skunk issues. Just leave them alone. Leave them alone.

Leave them alone. Well, that about does it for this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. I am Burt Miopede. And I am Joan Pedestrian. We will see you next time on The Neighborhood Listen. Bye. And goodbye. you