The Neighborhood Listen - Strange Snacks, Free Cardboard and Rockets with Becky Drysdale

Episode Date: November 16, 2020

This week on TNL, Burnt and Joan discuss strange snacks, Kirkland jeans, and "The Boy in the Bubble". Plus, Karens (Becky Drysdale) comes on the show to talk about Dylan and Davey and rockets. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Look out, Canadian listeners, this one's for you. Coho is a mastercard with an easy-to-use app that makes managing your finances easier. Coho lets you earn cash back, borrow, build your credit history, and so much more. Join over 1 million Canadians and sign up for your free trial today. Download Coho on Google or App Store today or koho.ca for more details. Plus, for any basketball fans out there, get a $75 e-gift card for nbastore.ca when you sign up with the promo code koho75. That's code koho75. Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website. That our network is scared for us to name for legal reasons, but you know which one it is.

All of the posts you hear our characters read are word-for-word real posts from this neighborhood website. Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. This episode's guest is Becky Drysdale. Knock, knock. Who's there? Your neighbor. Good. In Dignity Falls

you're never alone. You've got the NeighborHalf app and us. Bert. And Joan. From coyotes to mail theft to weird things to sell. We'll cover it all. And meet new neighbors as well. We'll chat about any posts you're missing. so just tune in welcome once again to the neighborhood listen i am one of your hosts burnt me a payday

and i am joe pedestrian and we are back You know, despite what's still happening, we're still we're still in lockdown, still under quarantine. That's right. We're still indoors living, living the life, Joan, I would say of the boy in the bubble, the famous television movie with John Travolta, where he was the titular boy in the bubble. Is that right? I've never seen that. I've never seen that one. You know, I have vague memories of it. I remember he was in a bubble. And I remember that he was. As per the bubble. Is that right? I've never seen that. I've never seen that one. You know, I have vague memories of it. I remember he was in a bubble. Sure, as per the title.

Yes. Let me tell you something. This TV movie delivered on the title. That was not a mislead. It was not a misdirect. You absolutely got to see a boy in a bubble. And he wasn't supposed to go outside, and I think eventually he did.

Oh, dear. And what that's did he find love i don't recall i believe he did find love that was a big part of it it's usually what happens when you leave the bubble in a in a television movie and you know and you know this country or we're so divided people are constantly yelling at each other leave their bubble what about what about people who have to who have to live in the bubble i know i know it's true uh uh i definitely have a feeling as well um we are we're still holed up in here the twins have eaten all of my food oh no including things that weren't food which is weird okay i will say first you did a heavy buy a heavy quarantine buy i did a heavy buy i a heavy quarantine buy. I did a heavy buy. I tried not to hoard. So what I did is I went to seven different Costco's in seven different counties and bought everything I needed. But that way, I didn't deplete any of the stock, which I thought was nice.

It took me, I saw many, many people and stood in many, many lines. So that might not have been the best idea. It doesn't sound, yeah, it seems sort of. But I have my Kirkland soap and Kirkland jeans, which Doug absolutely loves. And the only kind of jeans that he likes. Right, Doug? Hey, babe, how you doing?

Just thinking about those jeans. So you felt it was a need to buy. You definitely had to stock up on jeans during this crisis. They don't last long. What's that? They don't last long, Doug? I actually think they're very poorly made.

But he loves them. But Doug, where are you today? Why does yours sound so much worse than everyone else's? He's in the popcorn room. Now, Joe, this is not a room I'm familiar with in your home. The popcorn room. Look, it's kind of like the other room where we've stored a lot of things. It's like whatever there's most of in our extra rooms, that's what we dub it. All right.

You know, those cans, those tubs of popcorn? First of all, Doug wanted one of those movie popcorn things for our movie room. Like the actual popcorn machine. Yes. The actual popcorn machine, yes. So this is adjacent to the movie room, which we haven't put him in yet, which is odd because that is quite arguably the best room for recording in the entire house. And we haven't put him in there yet,

but he has, so he's got like the big, huge popcorn maker. And then we have just a crap ton of all those, those bins, you know, with the cheddar, but I don't care for those,

but realtors get them for gifts for Christmas all the time. Uh, and so, um, uh, we just put them there. And even though there's other things in there, like there's an extra

mattress and there's a bunch of trophies uh and there's a bunch of national geographic magazines it's easier to say popcorn room well i mean i suppose that's i suppose yeah it's it's the least it's the item with the least amount of syllables correct although trophy if you said you had a trophy room i think that would be very impressive. We have an actual trophy room. Oh, I do. I do apologize. I should spill over spill over trophies. There's a spill over. It's a spill over. Now, Doug,

as I say, you do sound you do sound different. You know, your sound quality is not what it usually is. Is this something that on the recording are people going to hear it this way or are we just hearing it? Are we just hearing it that way now? No, I I'm, I'm confused why it sounds so different to you now. I think it'll sound brilliant on the recording. All right. It will sound, um, better than ever actually.

Okay. Well, that's, that will be certainly a miracle. I take that. You know, it's interesting that even though we're quarantined, there is still such palpable tension between you two. I don't see that, Joan. I don't know. You don't see it, but you feel it, Bernd. Did you get that caramel at one of the Costco's? Are you talking about the popcorn? The popcorn caramel.

Are you eating it? The popcorn caramel. You mean the caramel-covered popcorn? popcorn caramel are you eating it the popcorn carrot yeah you mean caramel covered popcorn do you do caramel or caramel which one are you you know i like like everyone here in in dignity falls i grew up saying caramel oh right because of the caramel carnival that's right the legendary caramel carnival that came to town in 1910. And, you know, it's a famous, it's a famous, uh, I don't know that people know this, but there was a, there was a caramel flood because it was the hottest summer on record. And, uh, and the caramel, uh, it overflowed, it became too liquid and it, uh, it rushed through the town. It was a huge carnival, the caramel uh it overflowed it became too liquid and it uh it rushed through the town it was a huge carnival the caramel carnival this is a true story or is this just sort of like a wives

tale because if you listen whenever they talk about if you go into a book if you go into our library there's only drawings of this karma flood not actual pictures no pin type no nothing no daguerreotype here's why is because uh cameras were not you know every town has weird laws and in dignity falls cameras were not legal until 1981 that's right we had there was a camera ban for a long time camera ban and people honored it was a sort of like it was a silly like they wouldn't arrest you for having a camera but a lot of people were just too were just too scared we're fearful we're a fearful town and uh a lot of people did not uh they did not own cameras they wouldn't have cameras in their home i have no baby pictures no baby pictures and also all the school

pictures in the schools were were hand drawn yes they were courtroom sketch artists would come to your school and in some cases caricature artists so i mean it's a mix when you go through people's houses me too me too yeah yeah yeah you know it's just hard enough you know what i mean without realizing oh i didn't realize my ears were that prominent to the other to another person but i guess they are now and five freckles that's all i see to have an adult paid paid by the school to come and exaggerate your your most prominent physical feature is just uh that's devastating i never get a caricature done absolutely not because i never you never do i have prominent eyebrows and i just don't want them made fun of now you have famously you've

never touched your eyebrows and fashions fashions have come and gone and your eyebrows have remained constant and so sometimes you're right. You're on the cutting, the bleeding edge of fashion. And sometimes people are saying, what are you doing? That's, that's right.

And I, that's why all my pictures for my realty, you don't see me. They're all cut just above the eyebrows, just below the eyebrows. You don't see the eyebrows in my picture. So if you see sort of like a, a picture on a bus,

you know, it looks like, Oh, it got cut off. No, no, that's on purpose. That is on purpose. Exactly. All you need to see in my picture. So if you see sort of like a picture on a bus, you know, it looks like, oh, it got cut off. No, no, that's on purpose. That is on purpose. Exactly. All you need to see is my eyes. The windows to the soul. That's right.

No mention of the eyebrows in that expression. They don't mention the eyebrows at all. Yeah, but no P.S. How come more expressions don't have P.S. S. Just a qualifier afterwards. A penny saved is a penny earned. P..s then you'll have a lot of money um i mean i i guess that makes is that the one that bothers you the most

i know i was just pressed for an example and that was the one i came up with i just thought maybe there's this has been really gnawing at you for a long time burns like like how you say you sit in your apartment and just things start to annoy you well yes you know i do have i mean this isn't one of those but i do have uh i do have a lot of uh long-standing grudges with various things um joe do you think my my voice is becoming more exaggerated since we've been in quarantine and you know you've got this little um well i don't want to say stutter because i know that that's an actual speech, can be a speech challenge for people. I'm not sure it's a stutter, but-

Maybe a stammer. It's almost like a record skipping that happens to you. When I'm trying to think of a word. Oh, is that what happens? Okay. Well, then it's just a fun little cute little thing that just makes you, you. Do you know what I like when President Obama,

because he didn't want to say uh when he was struggling to come up with a word, he would to come up with the word you just said uh before you said struggling he was i know well i'm glad i'm glad you find it funny but i i was i was struggling in that moment i'm sorry go on that's all right look we're we're we're having a tough time it's look it's it's things are tense i'm sorry go on with your story well president obama would say and uh and he would he would say for the longest time oh i think i remember that he would say so instead of going uh he would go and and then he would eventually come up with the word yeah that's right that's what he would do at the end which was smarter than saying but because but then you have

to you have to contradict what you've just said said with the next thing that you haven't even thought of yet anyway let's not relitigate um past presidents let's let's let's get into the show this is this is the neighborhood listen and what we do here is we share um uh news about our neighborhood dignity falls via posts from the neighbor hap the popular social networking neighborhood. And people are still, people are still connecting and people are still, we're still finding ways to connect with our neighbors. And so,

uh, yeah, now more than ever. So are you going to start with the post burnt? Yes, I do have one. And this is, this one is intriguing.

This, uh, the name was cut off. Someone, someone sent this into us and the name was cut off, so I don't know who posted this, but the headline is strange snacks. And then it continues. Today, for the third time in several weeks, there was an open package of snack food on our front porch. Previous to today, it was nutty bars, but today's treat was peanut butter cheese crackers. Is peanut butter, peanut butter cheese crackers. Okay.

Is anyone else finding open snack foods on your porch or near your home? Any idea how slash why this might be happening? This is, is i can't this would be strange on a regular day absolutely in this climate this is down well this is downright it's dangerous yes exactly and and you shouldn't be i mean maybe maybe someone thinks they're doing a good thing and and i'm doing it now maybe some of these they're doing a good thing and and I'm doing it now. Maybe some of these they're doing a good thing and they want to help someone who they think may perhaps have an elderly

neighbor and they think but we don't know if this person who posted is elderly or not. They did not mention that. They're just finding open snacks on their doorstep. Yes, not they say open. I don't know if it's let me look at it again you know an open snack on a doorstep might as well be a a bomb at this point if i looked out

that's first of all i'd be like peanut butter and cheese crackers that's not even a thing it's not i don't think that would be a good combination. I think I know what they're talking about. They're talking about, you know, there's the peanut butter crackers. These are made by the Lance Corporation. We all know these. These are standard. There's the peanut butter crackers. And then there's the cheese crackers or toast cheese as they are called.

Wait, though. Wait. Sometimes these are the worst quality. But when you really can't find anything, maybe when you're in like a tiny airport, what they have is orange crackers with peanut butter in between them. Maybe that's what they mean. And that's just wrong.

Now, Doug has shared with us a file via the Zoom application. I've never seen this before. First file shared please uh and it's it's a photo what's that doug please read i tried to title it please read you try to title it please read please read you want us to read it and it is a photo uh it is a photo i did name check the lance corporation but this is from a company called austin and these crackers look exactly like the the the lance crackers as well it's a rectangle rectangular sleeve um you would never eat those these are cheese crackers with peanut butter and are they orange they i can't pull it up

they are as orange as cheese could be well they're and then they're the most unnatural orange that could exist in nature that's exactly right and they're the most unnatural orange that can exist in nature. That's exactly right. And they're made by the Austin corporation. They've been a business since 1932. I know exactly what, I mean, I've had these before.

I used to buy them as snacks for the kids, you know, and they don't care. They don't care what color it is, what it tastes like. They just care that it crunches and that it tastes, you know, like food that it's just,

they are. Your kids are texture Queens. They are texture, texture Queens. That's correct. are texture queens they they are texture texture queens that's correct they love they love a texture they love textures why they're starting to eat things that are not even food all of my pillows are empty the twins are eating feathers now i told them we're not at that stage yet but they think it's kind of fun to pretend as if things are really dire. So they're just daring each other to eat shit around the house, you know, and just see what happens to them.

You know, boys. Yeah, right. This sounds like some sort of advanced form of pika. Oh, oh, right. Where you eat dirt. Yes. And they're eating. Pregnant women are supposed to have that.

That's right. They're supposed to. Not supposed to. I didn't have right. They're supposed to not supposed to. I didn't have it except for the July pee. I just, I wanted to eat a lot of tinfoil and I just ground on that stuff. It was, it was,

it was really terrible for me. Well, that's fine. That's fine for you because you've never had a cavity. I have not. And we haven't talked about your perfect teeth. Never had a cavity. I mean,

whatever. It's not a big deal. Pr perfect teeth yeah oh that's a good name for my memoirs that was on your business card for a while it sure was yeah it didn't fit though so it wrapped around doug made them i think that's that's that font size was a mistake. Anyway, if just a warning to everyone, if you're getting open snack foods on your front door, don't don't eat them. Don't eat them. And you know what? Later on, when this is all behind us, also don't eat those things, because I don't I don't think that those are healthy in any way. I don't know what they're using to make them. I don't understand the color. Just just I mean, I don't want to get the Austin company angry, but just leave them alone. Just leave them alone.

Under the best of circumstances, do not eat open snack foods that people leave on your front stoop. Absolutely. That's the takeaway. That's the takeaway. That's the takeaway. Are we all in agreement? I know I am. Okay. Me too. All right. Doug. Doug. Do I need to agree with this? Okay. I knew you wouldn't want to. Doug. Do I need to agree with this?

Okay. I knew you wouldn't want to. If Doug saw, it doesn't even matter what was out there. If the doorbell rang and he opened it up and he saw free food, uh, he'd be eating it. No, no problem.

Well, I have to just be honest with myself. I mean, I'm here in the popcorn room. If somebody left some delicious caramel corn Chicago style you know I might think about it

is that the one that has it's got the dividers where it's the three different ones or is Chicago mixed together it's it's caramel and cheese together at last yeah I don't know if they have to be strictly divided And cheese together at last. Yeah.

I don't know if they have to be strictly divided. It's sort of, you're supposed to eat it at the same time. I'm not saying they have to be strictly divided. I'm saying that there is a tub of popcorn that comes with dividers. There tends to be dividers. There tend to be dividers. Not that it's imperative. No. Okay.

But yes, you're supposed to eat them at once at the same time and uh it's it's sort of a miracle when you don't think it works and then oh boy hey doug are you okay what's going on there doug I'm sorry. It's just, this is the most emotional I've ever seen. He's everything. He's really overcome things that were never funny or funny, you know,

things that were never sad or sad. It's just what happens. So I need a moment. Let's just let Doug regroup and, and we will regroup and we'll be back with a, with a guest. That's, that's exactly right.

We have a, we have a dynamite guest for you on this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. We'll let Doug collect himself and we will return. Hi everyone, I have a BlizzCon 2019 event taken past badge, plus human and orc run statues.

I know that this event has already happened, but I just, I wondered if maybe you just wanted it for like sentimental reasons because like the tickets that might be really popular someday. I have been waiting my whole life to go see the human and orc run statues, but I have to get my braces. I had to get my braces tightened, so I didn't get to go. But I'm just looking to get rid of the ticket because

having it in the house just reminds me that i didn't get to go and it just makes me sad so just contact me welcome back to the neighborhood listen was that supposed to be me burnt listen and we have a hard time knowing who's going to introduce it when we're in the same room and now it's just i know i know we're looking at each other via the zoom and uh and we're both nodding at each other and then and then and then and then and then uh joan took the initiative it's really happening a lot burnt i wonder if this isolation is making this problem worse maybe also are you i just want to talk about what's behind you there's a ventriloquist dummy behind you. And I don't think I knew that that was ever a thing you were into. But now it makes a lot of sense.

Do you know it wasn't? And I was I remember as a kid being terrified of ventriloquism, mostly because of the movie Magic starring Anthony Hopkins. Right. And I never saw the movie, just saw the commercial. And I decided, you know, first of all, I i live alone so i need someone to talk to but i also need to conquer some fears why not use uh two birds with one stone um yeah so you talk to the dummy i talk to the dummy and i imagine eventually because of ventriloquism he will begin speaking back to me oh but wait the way that works is you would have to manipulate him. Do you talk to him without your hand up his body?

Yes. We sit opposite each other in my little breakfast nook, and we discuss what's going on. He, so far, has not weighed in. What do you call him? I call him Mr. Dummy. Mr. Dummy. Because I don't know his first name. I'm assuming his last name is Dummy.

How'd you get him? The Sears catalog wishbook. What is that? It's every Christmas, the Sears catalog puts out a catalog with tons of stuff, gift ideas. And, you know, when you were a kid, you would circle or tear out the page or something and give it to your parents, say, I want this. And adorable. Yes. And so there was a page that haunted me as a child. That was just it. It haunted you as a child. It featured. Oh, I was a very haunted child. It featured a cluster of ventriloquism dummies all sitting there. There was there was Charlie McCarthy. There was Lester.

There was Jerry Mahoney. There was Bozo the Clown for some reason. Yes, they were all there in a pile and just staring at you. And they still make the – Azir still makes the wish book even though they're largely out of business. And I sought it out online and found myself a dummy. They were still selling something from the 60s? Yeah, from the 60s and beyond.

Dummies the whole office can agree on. Well, that's all we're doing over there. We do have a guest that we should introduce. Let's talk to someone real who's going to talk back. Exactly. Yeah, let's do that. So here's a post that there's no there's no. OK, well, hang on a second.

This just says this just says help. And it says, I am looking for the person on or near Bellsbrook who recently launched launched, excuse me, a rocket. My husband needs a friend during this quarantine and could socially distance himself from you while you launch rockets together. He launches rockets every weekend and our neighbors told us someone launched one this week, which gave me hope that he may have someone with the same interests. His kids and wife are burnt out with his rocket shit.

Please come take him off my hands. He stocked up on rocket stuff before the quarantine. Wow. I can even provide lunch. So please welcome, I'm going to assume your name is karen is that right a correct assumption it's karen's oh karen's with an s yes it's i'm named after um my grandmother um and my other grandmother so both both of your grandmothers were named karen and so your parents in order to honor them both named you Karen's

well there was um there was a um you know there was a disagreement over who should be who I should be named after because both of them died at the exact same time literally were they near each other at all no not at all did they both die of just natural causes? Yes. Wow. I mean, there was also a very violent car crash, but the natural causes. Okay. My father's mother died of natural causes immediately before being hit by a bus. Oh, I see. of natural causes immediately before being hit by a bus so they determined in the car she had just passed away gently quietly peacefully and then there was a car crash and then there was a

car crash sorry i don't know that's just it's wild and then karen um died of uh you know, was not well. And died of complications of her conditions before. What was her condition? Sorry. Complications. But she did die of natural causes.

Natural complications. But then also, again, was immediately struck by an oncoming, T-boned by an oncoming 18-wheeler. Good Lord! They were both in their cars and driving around. In separate states. In separate states, even. And died of natural causes.

Before horrific car accidents. Before horrific car accidents. Before horrific car accidents. But they were both dead before the other vehicles smashed into them. They were able to determine it was right before. Yes, because both of their watches were hit.

Wait, but that would determine the time that they were crashed into but not their time of death but then when the time of death was determined it was slightly before the point of impact i see wow this is fascinating i mean you know what now i mean hey this isn't the this isn't the only podcast I've done. I have talked about this many times. It doesn't matter. I'm Karen's.

Kay's for short. Kay is for short. Kay is for short. And it doesn't matter because who cares what my name is because I'm in a nightmare. I'm living in a nightmare. I'm so sorry. Could you tell us what cares what my name is because I'm in a nightmare. Oh, I'm living in a nightmare. I'm so sorry. Could you tell us what your husband's name is?

Yes. I guess that doesn't matter either. I mean, at this point, I'm trying to forget. And are you telling me that in the moment when everyone knew things needed to be purchased, like cleaning supplies, canned canned goods this man only went out and bought rockets so it says everything there was a purchase and there was a there was a collecting and a gathering of of previously purchased items that were in the basement. Okay.

That he had not used. And because there is a global pandemic, he decided that this was the time to, you know, re-engage in this hobby of his. Why? It seems like an extremely dangerous thing to do anyways, but especially during this time is a robert okay um hobbyist at best so what would you say he is at worst a a monster of a mistake that i made because now his hobby is my i have considered many times running into a crowd

which you can't do now well that's that's why. Right. I am concerned. I see now. So socially putting myself very close to many people. Suicide by crowd. It's a crowd-based suicide because I cannot with this anymore. And, you know, before it was, you know know it was just the talking about it now it's the talking about it and the doing it he used to just talk about launching rockets off a lot he would talk he would it would he would narrate oh what used to happen he would tell stories about

what could happen he would put together like a short plays about what would happen if he set these rockets off and now he's doing it which you'd think would be better but it doesn't, he still does the explanation and then actually does the thing. He talks

through what's going to happen when he launches a rocket and then he does it. And then it doesn't happen that way and then he talks a rocket and then he doesn't. It doesn't happen that way. And then he talks about why. And then he talks about what did happen. And then he talks about what should happen the next time. Good Lord. Does he have a job?

This is his job currently. He's getting paid for this. No. But he has made it very clear that this is his job right now. This is how he's going to contribute. I see. So he has said how and what what what does he say is the way this is going to become monetized?

He attaches a fabric mask to the tip of every rocket. These are these are like surgical masks? No. Oh, no. What? These are cheap fabric masks that I think pull particles in. But he's attaching them to these rockets like he's saving the world. Let me tell you this. Let me tell you this. A day per rocket.

This is the slowest mask delivery system. That's how long it takes for the Rocket to get... Is he actually... How is he doing this? He's like putting coordinates in and are they actually arriving at the right place? He is... Here's what happens.

Okay. And I hate that I know this. You insert what is called the igniter into the engine. Okay. And the igniter works with electricity and he has a handhold launch control, which he made out of a guitar hero controller, which was a whole other three months that I don't want to get into. That was a whole other podcast.

other three months that I don't want to get into. That was a whole other podcast. Anyhow, the igniter heats up and that ignites the fuel. This is a process. And the only reason I know this is because he tells me, he walks me through it every single time. Like I don't already know. I could work for NASA at this point. So every single time he fires off a rocket, he says, here is the process by which the rocket is fired. Correct. Well, yes. And a deal I made with him very early on in our relationship is that if something happened where he could not launch the rockets, that I would then take over. So he's in a constant state of explaining how to do this. I could do this with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my back. And I have to ask Karen's, have you done this? Have you, have you launched a rocket yourself? Absolutely not. He won't let me, he won't let me touch. Oh, he won't. So he won't, even though he says you're going to do it if he can. Yes. It's only

if he's in completely incapacitated. This sounds... Which I'm waiting. I'm waiting for that day. I mean, I understand only a tiny part of this. I mean, for a while, I hear you on the Guitar Hero part because Doug was obsessed with that about a decade ago, but he only liked to play Slow Ride by Foghat.

He is a tinkerer in addition to, you addition to what he likes to call a rocket man. Oh, what does he sing the song? No, he doesn't know it. He doesn't know it? He's such a rocket man. And I will not share it with him. Don't. Yeah, you'll never hear the end of it probably.

No. And I tell you what, I am just, I've had it up to everywhere. I've had it up. And, you know, in the early days when we got together and he said he was in a rocketry, he would use, you know, the balsa wood. Oh, just that. He would know the balsa wood oh just he would do the balsa wood rockets and the nice thing about that is that it takes an enormous amount of time to cut out the pieces of the rocket and so there was built in quiet time it's like you're almost describing a child you know that it was it is good to get quiet time to sort of keep them preoccupied.

And I should have at that point known that this was a mistake. The marriage you made. Yes. But I had my own hobbies that were also very questionable at that time. So I. What were they? It was give a, give a penny, take a penny with him. P.S.

P.S. No one gets anything in the end. That's right. You break it. You have the same amount of pennies. Now, let me let me it never occurred to me to interpret that side as you give the penny and then you

take your penny back. I think I interpreted it differently. Anyway, so what were some of your what you call questionable hobbies? Yeah. New endings. I did a thing called new endings where I would watch half of a movie and then I'd act out the rest of the movie where I thought the movie went wrong and do the part of the movie that I thought went wrong and do it better. Correct it. Correct it.

Correct it. Would you do this for people or just by yourself? Yes. I would have people come over not knowing exactly what they were coming over for. Do you remember what? Again, providing lunch, which is something I always do. I always provide lunch. You do say you'll provide lunch for whoever.

I don't ask for anything without lunch in return. That's nice. And I'm a gifted lunch maker. So I try to use that skill. But so that was one thing I used to do. Devil sticks. Oh, sure. I remember devil sticks.

Yes. I don't. What are devil sticks? It was a sort of juggling thing. It is. Oh, sure. I remember devil sticks. Yes. I don't. What are devil sticks? It was a sort of juggling thing. It is. Oh, right, right, right. And they have to be very specifically weighted. And so that was something I didn't, I don't know how to use them.

I would make them and weight them properly and then put them on the side. Oh, so that was, that was the hobby was making devil sticks. Making them. The precise weight. Got it weight that they needed to be. Certainly. I used to do a thing where I would watch a Cirque du Soleil show, and I would map out but I assumed the backstage traffic would have to have been to have one character get to the next place they needed to be. So it was, I would call it, I called it negative. And it would be sort of what you didn't see

in the Cirque du Soleil show that you were seeing and that was very time consuming you know but that was something i didn't impose on other people that was for me i've never had a job oh well you would have had time for one i've never had a job. I'm terrified of working. Why? The whole idea is terrifying to me. Well, now, did Robert ever have a job before he switched to making rocketry? You know, I think the problem for both of us

is that Robert came into an enormous amount of money. Oh, I see. Family money. I see. One of his Karen? No. His father, whose name was also Karen, but we felt that if my name was Karen's, it covered everyone. Sure. There's no plural that suggests how many you're talking about.

That's true. That's very true. That is a good point. You know, which is why my parents took such a long time in naming me. You know, I was three or four because they couldn't figure out how to allow the plural to be specific to the amount. It doesn't matter. So you just went without a name for years. Correct. Oh my. And they didn't want to name you two Karens. Well, that has a kind of appropriation that they weren't comfortable with. I guess, you mean like a rapper?

No, like a Native American. Okay. A rapper. Like 2 Chainz. Is that a rapper? Like 2 Chainz. You were thinking two Karens. I understand.

I don't know many rappers. I don't listen to that. I don't either. I'm also terrified of that. I have a lot of fears. So a lot of my hobbies were, you know, things I could do on my own, things I could do by myself, and you know, Robert's

hobbies are much louder. Can I just ask, was there a movie you can remember that you had to recreate when you thought it went wrong? Sure. Just one, for example? Ask and answer. Oh, you were hoping for more, Joan.

First Wives. Which one? Oh, First Wives. What's wrong with that one? I love that movie. What's wrong with that one? I thought that that was heading towards a much more exciting sort of, you know,

thriller, massacre kind of an ending. Like Diane Keaton just killing people. Well, the three of them exacting the revenge that I thought would be appropriate. Oh, killing those ex-husbands. Well, that's what I thought they were getting together to do when they opened that warehouse. I see.

Not throw like a gala in a bunch of white suits. Horribly disappointing. And and then I of course fix the ending to pretty and pink because we all know what was wrong with that yes and so you would invite people over serve them lunch and they would watch you act out the what you feel that was the corrected ending

of these films yes and that one you know I would be lying if I said that people didn't agree with me. And you say you're, you, you, you, you, if I may, you, you, you, uh, you did a mild boast of your, your lunch making activities. What, what sort of lunch do you provide for, uh, for your audiences? I do a seven course lunch. Seven course lunch. It do a seven course lunch. Seven course lunch? It's called Around the World.

Each course is from a different culture. Well, that's kind of fun. I didn't know. I think so. And I, you know, each course is from a different, okay. Each course is from a different part of the world different culture which is tough because some cultures don't have lunch

and so sometimes there will be a third course that is nothing oh so just nothing like an empty plate how do you serve it we just allot the time that that course would

take but there's oh so just sort of like a quiet period of reflection that's correct like a quick depending on what that culture does during their no lunch which would usually just be work and so it's sort of a it's a it's a sort of a learning experience and as well as a meal. And it's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun. It's not a filling lunch, but it's long. And I think people enjoy that. So it is a seven-course lunch, but not that filling because of so many cultures that don't have the concept of lunch.

Not because of that. It's just very, you know, it's small. It's a it's a tasting experience. Got it. Small plates. OK, so Karen's I want to talk about your children, too, because you said in your post that the children are sick of this, too. What are their ages and how are they coping with? Well, first of all, just being in the quarantine.

And do they did they work? In what sense? Well, I'm just curious as to how you're able to provide for your family. What with you being terrified of work and your husband just doing rockets, which I don't know. I'm sorry. I didn't know if you meant, do they work like employment or do they work like function? Well, now I'm concerned and i want to know both can i ask you this karen's are your children human children if you tell me oh boy oh boy i have davy is eight okay and um he is a real uh a quiet, a quiet kid. Very, you know, a bookworm. Oh.

Very smart. You know, he reads at an 11th grade level. We're very proud of his achievements, his academic achievements. And, you know, but he is, he, but he definitely is a little strange, and we're not sure what he's doing when he's sort of having his alone time. And he, you know, he's going through a little bit of an expressive phase. Okay. And then Dylan is 28.

And he is wonderful. He's wonderful. He's taking his time. He's taking his time figuring out who he is, what he wants to do, where, you know, what's next. And, you know, Davey, in a way, has been quarantining since he was five. Sure, sure. Is he terrified of the world, too? Or did he go to school? Did he ever have a job?

Does he have a job? He chose not to go to school very early. This is Dylan or Davey? This is the 28-year-old or the 8-year-old? The 8-year-old, okay. Oh, I meant Dylan. Oh, Dylan went to school, yes. Oh, he did? He did go to school, yes. Can I ask you this about Davey? Was he a bit of a surprise?

No. It was a plan that we had very early on to have our children 20 years apart. Because I read somewhere that that was the best relational space between siblings. And because we didn't want Dylan to grow up alone. Sure. So he has a brother who's 20 years younger, and that's nice, I think, for them. Which is great. They won't be rivals.

Oh, no. They never. No. It's unclear whether Dylan is aware that Davey is his brother. Wait a minute. Which I think is a nice set up. You said you didn't want him to grow up alone. And now you're saying that he's not even aware that he has a brother?

Well, again, Davey is very private. He spends a lot of time by himself. I've seen him more during the quarantine than I did before. Wow. I see. Yeah, which is nice. Yeah, that's nice. But he's very independent.

And he has his own, he has the basement now that the Rockets are out. And Dylan's here and his wife is here and oh oh he's married congratulations to dylan of course but he lives with they both live with you or are they just choosing to quarantine with you no they both live with me okay in the basement no no no i'm trying to figure out davy lives in the. Davey lives in the basement. Davey lives in the basement. I see. I'm sorry.

I apologize. How fun for an eight-year-old to have. Dylan and Marissa have their own room. Yeah, Davey does his own thing, and we try to encourage that. I'm still trying to figure out where income comes from anyone. There was an inheritance. Yes, Robert, of course, is independently wealthy. So that's just all it is. It's just

the inheritance. Okay. No, his father, yes, his father, Karen, of the Boston Karens, their last name, of course, also being Karen. So your name is, did you take Robert's name and is your name Karen's

Karen? No, that would be silly. I do apologize. No, I took the family name, which is Blairon. So your name is Karen's Blairon. Well, Karen's Church Blairon. Karen's Church Blairon. Is my maiden name. Oh, church. Oh, I see. Karen's Churcharen. Well, Karen's Church Blaren. Karen's Church Blaren. Is my maiden name. Oh, church.

Oh, I see. Karen's Church Blaren. Okay. Just like Doug Korn Pedestrian. Yes. Yes. Just. That's my husband's name.

Yes. My maiden name. His middle name is Korn and then he took my name. Yeah, that's right. Yes. His middle name is Korn, and then he took my name. Yeah, that's right. Yes.

Anyway, it's ultimately irrelevant because I'm going bonkers with this rocketeering. There's no way to silence the rockets. I asked about that. But, you know, they work on an explosion, essentially. And, you know, we moved into a house that had a 500-square-foot field in the back of it so that he could do this rocketeering. But then he, you know, he never did it. And now, of course, you know, he says, now that I'm not working, I can do my rocket hobby.

But he's never working. So it's unclear why now is the moment. And sorry, Karen, can I just say, it says in your post that the neighbors told you someone launched one this week. And so two questions. Well, that was interesting too, because they drove by the house, opened the window, and as they were going uh-huh yelled somebody's like it was very fast they just did it fast they didn't slow down no not no not in my neighborhood a do you think that the neighbors are possibly annoyed with your husband's rocketeering if i will and and maybe they were just telling you that to get you to seek other places, too.

Okay. And what do you hope to have happen if he does find someone to launch rockets with at a six-feet distance, of course? Just that he'll—you're going to provide lunch. If you're going to provide lunch, will you send it along with him? Because the whole point—you're not going to be there, right? Because the whole point is to have him leave your house and go do it someplace else. That's what you're hoping for. I will send him with a large. With the seven course. Yes. I have created a customized seven course divided container, like a Chicago popcorn container. Oh, see, we were just talking about

those. Absolutely. Yeah. You were. Interesting. We were. So, yeah, like a Chicago popcorn container with the seven courses spread out unless there is unless we're doing Denmark, in which case it's six courses. It's just an empty. It's just an empty part of the carton. The Danish don't eat lunch because breakfast is usually a Danish. And it's so filling. and it's so filling uh well uh karen's uh best of luck if you want to reiterate your offer to people uh as we wrap it up i would like thank you i would love to i will i will for anyone who will take my husband i just take him take him and uh give him a safe space to work on his rocketeering. You know, it's nice because the six-foot distance is actually significantly closer than you should ever be to someone watching rockets.

I will provide lunch for every day that he's not near me. Wow. And that goes for during the quarantine and after the quarantine. This is, this is a COVID free proposal. Okay. This is for whenever. I really hope that you get a taker. I don't know that anyone's going to take this man into your house,

especially after hearing a description of what he's like, but I do hope that he finds a friend, and I hope that he finds an open space and can launch those rockets and leave you and Davey and Dylan and his unnamed wife alone. Marissa. I named her. Marissa. You named her. Oh, you named her

Marissa. That was the condition of the marriage. Was it? I have never heard that. Look, I was named after three different Karens. So whenever I get to name someone, I do it. And after I named Davey, I was upset that that's what I named him because it felt like a missed opportunity. To name him what?

Davey. Oh, you mean after you named Dylan Dylan you wanted to name him Davey is that why you had the second my youngest is named Davey and I I named him very quickly because I had just given birth you see so I was very I don't know if you've ever given birth but it is oh yes I have tiring oh yes and so they're like what do you want to name him? And I just said Davey. I didn't think about it. Wait. I'm so confused. What is confusing?

I wonder if we perhaps should just leave it there. Maybe it doesn't matter. Maybe it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It might not matter. It might not matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

Thank you so much for being here, Karen. I'm sorry it doesn't matter to you. No, okay. matter it doesn't matter uh thank you so much for being sorry it doesn't matter to you okay karen's we don't want to we don't want to leave this on any bad blood we we definitely appreciate you uh taking the time to hook up with us uh via video conference and uh and we do wish you uh success in in finding someone to take uh take uh robert off your hands for a little bit. Sorry, do you need to start that again? I'm sorry. Did you guys hear that?

What happened there? Did you hear a phone call come into this computer? I did not hear a phone call come into the computer. But can we just start with the goodbye again? I'm really sorry. I just didn't know if you could hear that. I'm staying in character. I don't care what you say. Well, Karen, thank you very much for

joining us in this strange time video conference via video conference, and we certainly wish you the best of luck in getting someone to take Robert off your hands for a bit. Thank you so much, and if you have found fabric masks within 12 feet of our house,

you can just go ahead and return them, or not. It doesn't. Just let this be over. Do you know what I'm saying? Sure. Just let this be over. I think that we all kind of feel like that.

I don't mean the virus. That can go on. Oh, I took your meaning. I took your meaning. We understood. Well, thank you. Thank you so much. And take care, okay?

Yes. I have no choice. Okay. Bye, Karen. Fair enough. All right. Well, we will take a break and more with the Neighborhood Listen when the Neighborhood Listen returns. Free door.

Use it as a door or turn it into a cool table by adding some legs. Do what you want. It's a door or it's a table. If it's a table, you got to add some legs. I can't hold your hand through this. Free door. I can't hold your hand through this. Freedom! All right, and welcome back to The Neighborhood Listen. We just have time for one more post.

Boy, I hope Karen's find somebody to help Robert with his rocketry. I hope so, too. I hope she's okay. I, you know, this is a, this is a tough time, but especially if you've got a really complicated marriage with a man who shoots off rockets for a hobby, then that just, I think, doubles the difficulty. Yeah. Especially if he's saying he's going to make it his job and that's just not going to happen. I didn't want to say that to Karen's, but that's clearly not going to be a way to make a

living. It doesn't make any sense. And he sounds like a real weirdo. Anyway, I'm sorry. No, I was just going to ask, but Doug, he didn't get to weigh in on that last bit. But what did you think of that guy? You've never really taken an interest in rockets. Tooken with Liam Neeson. No, but I. I have a particular set of schools.

That's very funny. When she mentioned the rock band or guitar hero, I was Tooken with him then. Right. You did love that game. I did. And Foghat. Now I have Foghat in my head.

Oh, yeah, I know. He doesn't. It really sticks in the brain, I'll tell you. It really does. What are Foghat's biggest songs? Slow Ride, of course. Slow Ride. That's the only one I know.

It's the only one I care to know. Can I tell you a story that I heard? This is a third-hand story. Oh. Or a second-hand story, I should say. This is a third-hand story or a second-hand story, I should say, that a friend of mine told me a long time ago that he was driving cross-country and he sees a roadhouse that has a sign, one of those lighted signs with the arrow out front that says, tonight only fog hat. And so he says, well, I got to go see fog hat fog had this roadhouse and so he walks in there and the place is packed and uh and apparently it was like a one original member of the band was on

stage you know joined by uh several other musicians and um they take the stage they they launch into i think i think they lead off with slow ride And there's a gigantic man in a flannel shirt, trucker-looking fellow, who points at the stage and bellows over the music, that ain't fucking Foghat! He wanted the entire original lineup. He wanted the original lineup, and I think he expected them to be at this roadhouse in the middle of nowhere.

So that's just the story that I think of any time I hear the name Foghat. Maybe he expected the actual Foghat. Because I've always pictured a hat with a fog machine that's fog hat and the rocking is the fog coming out of the top of the hat or is it coming out from the opening of the hat that that you put you put it on and then just fog would would would billow out of the your head would be wreathed in fog that's actually an improvement to what i pictured which was just billowing out the top like a chimney actually an improvement to what i pictured which was just billowing out the top like a chimney and i thought interesting yeah i thought of it as a hat made of fog sort of a billowy cloudy hat i think that this is one of those things where everyone has their own it's almost like a

rorschach test uh that everyone has their own interpretation of what a fog hat is yes oh my goodness that's why that's why they're here or there. You said you had a post, Joan. We have one post. I am really kind of surprised at this post. Again, currently, I think maybe we just need to put out the information in case people haven't heard yet. But this is simply a picture of a ton of cardboard boxes. And it just says, cardboard boxes, come get them. This post was yesterday.

Now, does this person possibly not know that, A, nobody is going to go to anybody's house right now? I certainly hope not to get anything. Second of all, they say that this thing can live up to three hours on cardboard. I mean, just getting a package on the doorstep right now is like a bomb going off. And then, you know, basically I have to put on a hurt locker and go out there and try to, you know, wipe it down. going off and then you know basically have to put on a hurt locker and go out there and try to you know wipe it down and the twins think it's fantastic and they love it and one of them thought maybe the flamethrower uh maybe would help and and that's that's not i'm sorry what the flamethrower yes remember i purchased them a flamethrower from wait we talked about it

purchased them a blowtorch i I did not realize you also purchased them a flamethrower. I did. God help me. I did. Oh, God. Did I do the wrong thing? Did I make the wrong choice? Look, I'm not a parent, so I can't. I feel like it's not my place to judge, but I will say that for all the grief that

these boys give you, maybe that was not a wise purchase. You know, it's weird. Is that meant to say blowtorch? Because that's what they tried to disinfect the boxes with. But I also have purchased them a flamethrower and I bought the flamethrower for them after the blowtorch. Fool me twice. Oh, well, now are these I haven't seen the I haven't seen the post. Are the other boxes broken down or are they?

No, no, they're just in actual box shape and they look like they've been opened. That's insult to injury, if you ask me. I agree. And it looks as if they've received all of their packages. Right. And then they they clearly don't want them and they want someone else to come get them. And in a normal time, again, people would probably want to take those. But right now, I just feel like that's not a post we need to even be clogging up our

app with because right now we need information. We need support. Not someone's cardboard. Not someone's contaminated cardboard. We don't need this diseased cardboard, not even broken down. No flamethrower will disinfect it. I mean. And they did try.

Yes. But yeah, I mean, I am very concerned because it's a lot of people and we're all stuck in the house and all the toys and all the super dangerous things are there at once. And usually they're off at school and so they're not doing that. are there at once. And usually they're off at school. And so they're not doing that. But now every single day they try something more scary and more dangerous. And I'm just, I'm worried.

We can't have anything injured right now. I am too, Joan. I hope this isn't overstepping the bounds of our friendship, but I'm terrified for you in that house with those boys. Believe me, when I bought them all of these things, I never imagined being stuck in a quarantine for weeks. Okay. Sure. So,

uh, you know, what, what can I say? I wish I had a do over, but, but I don't live and learn, live and learn.

So, so listen, and also live and learn with, with this. If you guys have some cardboard boxes, just keep them, just keep it for, guess what?

No, one's going anywhere. No, one's doing anything. Those cardboard boxes, just keep them outside, keep them away. And don't try to, don't try to, don't try to get, don't try to pawn them off on anyone else.

At least wait three hours to post. There you go. Sure. You're going to put cardboard boxes outside? If you absolutely have to post. And maybe someone just needed to post and they just had nothing else to post about. Reaching out in a time of loneliness and solitude. We're all going through this in our own way.

You're talking to a ventriloquist dummy. That doesn't answer back. Not yet. Okay. Well. All right, Bernd. I'm glad we're doing this, and I'm glad that you're getting to see actual faces that speak back to you. I think this is a good thing that we're doing this.

Yes, it is. Here, I'll move the laptop around so you can see my friend. Look at him there. Oh, boy. laptop around so you can see my friend. Look at him there. Oh boy. He's it's upsetting that he's just frozen with his mouth

wide open. I think I may have broken something. That's what's getting me right now. I think when I was kind of checking him out when I took him out of the box, I think I may have broken something and I don't think that mouth is going to close again. I think he's just perpetually in this mouth agape state.

Forgive me, but I cannot look at that anymore. It's just, it's giving me the heebie-jeebies is what it is. Let's just check in. What if I put a little microphone in front of him and made it look like he was singing? Well, I guess it would. It makes it, I just feel like you might be taking it a little bit far.

I'm just worried that you're spending a lot of time, especially in self-isolation, trying to get this guy to talk. Well, the, the, the proof is in the pudding and we will, uh, we will check back and see. The proof is in the pudding. P.S. It might not be pudding. Oh, that's an ominous P.S. Well, uh, we should wrap things up.

Thank you once again dignity falls and and elsewhere for for listening to this uh episode of the neighborhood listen we'll be back next week uh stay safe stay safe everybody stay home stay stay safe stay home and stay cool how do you like that that's kind of fun goodbye good and bye Goodbye. And bye.