The Neighborhood Listen - The Bad Bad Birds of Dignity Falls with Niccole Thurman

Episode Date: February 21, 2022

This week, Joan + Doug continue their renovation saga and Burnt finds "Hamilton" disappointing for a very specific reason. Plus, special guest Andi (Niccole Thurman) shares her post about desperately trying to get rid of noisy bad birds.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website. Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. Knock, knock.

Who's there? Your neighbor. Good. In Dignity Falls, you're never alone. You've got the neighborHalf app and us. Burn. And Jode. From coyotes to mail theft to weird things to sell. We'll cover it all. And meet new neighbors as well. We'll chat about any posts you're missing. So just tune in to the Neighborhood Listen.

Do you want to? Oh, sure. Yeah. Hello and welcome back to another episode of The Neighborhood Listen. That's correct. Oh, sorry. I was going to do me. You took a pause and I thought that I could jump in there. It is funny.

You know, you make things look so easy, Bernd. You know, I listen to you do the intros all the time. And I just think, oh yeah, that's no big deal. And then I go to do it and guess what? Not as easy as it looks. Well, you know, what's funny, Joan, is that of course you're a thespian and I'm just a pharmacist and maybe it's the authority invested in me as a pharmacist that leads me to feel so confident doing the intros. But I think that what you were doing, when you took that pause, I thought,

in my mind, split second decision, I was either, this is a dramatic pause because Joan is a dramatist, or she's indicating for me to jump in and say my name because she said her name. Oh, I understand that. It was the former. Right. Let's try it again let's

pretend that this didn't happen and i want you to i my wish for you is to do the intro the way you want to do it with as much drama and gravitas as possible thank you i was appreciate i appreciate it because i was going to say if we were on stage and i needed help you would see for my eyes you'd see a real help me sign coming from my absolutely. And there was no help me sign there. There was no. Believe me, you'll recognize it. I did not. Sure. Sure.

Okay, here we go. Hello and welcome back to another episode. I'm sorry to interrupt, but I just remembered that you also, when you have that help me in the eyes, it's also like a sheen of perspiration on your upper lip. Oh, really? That to me is always the key. I'm so, that's crazy.

You interrupted to mention my lip. I'm so sorry. Well, I thought, because since we've established we can just go back to the beginning and do it over again. It doesn't really matter, right? Well, we established

we could go back to the beginning. I didn't know we were establishing interrupting at any time. But now that I'm aware of the rules, I can continue. You know what? You're absolutely right. And I feel like I just established

the interrupting. I just like to know the rules. I just like to know the rules. I'm the person You know what? You're absolutely right, and I feel like I just established the interrupting. I just like to know the rules. I'm the person that when we open a new board game, I read those rules. You know what I mean? I'm the one who reads every single bit of the fine print. All the way through before anyone can play the game. Yeah, all the options, what happens if, troubleshooting, everything.

Have you played Settlers of Catan? Yes, I have. It's not my favorite. I'm so sorry. And you know, there was a while we were into all those ones. You know, there's one called Dominion. And then with those things, there's always like extra sets. You can buy like 18 extra box sets. Right.

And it gets very complicated. But sorry, now I interrupted. Although that is part of the rules. It has been established. I like Mousetrap. This is Doug, our engineer. We didn't review the rules with Doug. I guess Doug is allowed to interrupt as well. Doug, this is my husband,

Doug, of course, who's our engineer. Yes, and he's a grown man, father of two, a father of three, and loves the game Mousetrap. It's fun. No denying that. No denying that. No rules. That's the big appeal of Mouset Is that that's the big appeal of that.

I thought the big appeal of that was building the mousetrap and you play it once and you never play it again. Yeah, you build it. You run the mousetrap. You watch it go. But there's no rules. You watch it go. He loves to watch it go. You can just take your piece and move it to the end.

And you want no rules. You can just take your piece and move it to the end and you won. No rules. You always win. So actually, he's in the game room, which is where we have all of the rule booklets categorized

and all just sort of organized on a shelf, which I really, really love so that in case there's an issue with any of our board games, I can run right up there and just go through like it's the old,

like it's an old library and just find it and just read it and get everyone set. Well, you're about to say something I can see. You have a board game instruction manual library in your home. Finally, is what I say. Oh, this is something you've wanted to do for a while. Oh, forever. Because, you know, we're a board game house you know but they're the board games always devolve

into a fight every single time and there's just everyone likes to argue likes to argue the finer points of the game and uh which they know because you've read the entire uh book aloud yes right but but see they do but they don't remember you know what i do and i have proof i can say here it is right here article 42 page 57 there's the dewey decimal system that's right here. Article 42, page 57. There's the Dewey Decimal System. That's right. So that's where Doug is today. And we also do store some board games there,

of course. And we have two giant Yahtzee dice. Some. Two giant Yahtzee dice. Do they serve as furniture? How big are we talking? Yes. This was their props from when I did. I don't Do they serve as furniture? How big are we talking? Yes, you can. This was from their props from when I did.

I don't think that you would have. We don't think we knew each other then. I directed A Midsummer Night's Dream for our Shakespeare in the Park years ago before the park was turned into a parking lot. Yes. And for what is over there? Is it a big lots? Is that what it is? It's not a big lots anymore, but the sign is still there.

And somebody has spray painted out the S, so it's just a big lot. Right. Right. Because that's all that there is. And this is where Shakespeare used to happen, Berndt. I mean, this is so sad. Anyways, I had this whole idea that the fairies and Puck, if you don't know about Severnight's Dream, right? They kind of

mess with the mortals. Then it was all a chess game, right? And then the theme was games. So I did it on a whole we painted the whole entire stage a chess board and as if they were moving chess pieces. They were the pawns in the fairies game. And then just because of that, then we went further with the game theme.

So, then we had dye. And we just had two dyes. Big, huge dyes that Puck could perch on. Really fun foam dyes. And it was really, it was quite fun. Specifically modeled after Yahtzee dyes. They were, because those are my favorite kind of dyes. Sure, absolutely.

There's just something very specific about a Yahtzee dye. It has the, you know, because those red, they're red, right? Right. Yeah. So, so anyway. And you never forget your first. No, you don't. The first time you encountered Yahtzee dice.

It was definitely, those are my first dice ever in general. Yeah. So anyhow, I, I, we, I, those made at home too. And we used to play Yahtzee with the gigantic oversized dice. So now they're just in there like, you know, just as an art installation. We had the huge cup. We did. We had a huge cup.

You shake them in. It was a family event. It took everybody. Now, Yahtzee, if I— And generally, it would just plop out always on the same number. If I'm remembering correctly, Yahtzee uses a number of dice, does it not? It's more than two.

You had to do them one at a time. You shake them. You shake them one at a time. There was just putting it in a cup and dumping it out. Oh, I see. I see. Well, still,

that does increase the odds, the chances that the numbers will change. So anyway, that's where Doug is, but back to the beginning. Back to the beginning. Am I going to do this intro again? Yes. After all that?

I'd love to hear it. Oh boy. I hope people are still listening. Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Neighborhood Listen. I am your host. Can I interrupt?

You didn't do the pause. That was, you literally interrupted in the pause, Bert. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Bert. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Unbelievable. I'm so sorry.

I wanted a pause before my name. I see. I see. Okay. I apologize. And we will go back to the beginning because that has been established that we can do. Because I interrupted, which we've also established that we can do. And so we will take it back.

I do have questions about the video game, about the board game library. Well, we'll get to it. Let's just introduce the damn show. I do apologize. Okay, here we go. And action. Well, you say three, two, one, Bernd. Oh, sorry. Three. Oh, do we do the thing? Isn't

it? You don't say the one. If we're doing theater, say places. Or you can say back to one you can say back to one right uh what one minute every one second everybody boy oh boy that's the theater right where they give you the amount of time before you have to be at places five minutes five minutes thank you five minutes but we're not gonna wait five right but we're not gonna wait five obviously we're not so okay so it's one second one second thank you one second and places where places hello and welcome to your mom is here tonight she's in the audience i think we're taking the theater metaphor into the intro which we did not need to do burnt

you know what honestly that was another interruption you're no she's not here we're not doing we're not in a play but here's But here's what happened is that you were, I realize now that you were doing it, but I spaced out thinking about your mother showing up to see you. How did you have time to space out? I said four words. I was on the same breath. That's an excellent question. One for which I do not have an answer. I tell you what, I'm going to turn my mic off. I think that's a good idea. And for which I do not have an answer. I tell you what,

I'm going to turn my mic off. I think that's a good idea. And so you can do, you can do. Okay. So mute, mute yourself. I am muted.

Hello and welcome to the name. Oh my God. What do we call this? I just forgot the title. I blanked. I've, I've unmuted. I blanked.

I've unmuted. Oh my God. I had my shot. There, I beg you, you had your shot? No, I mean, I had my shot touted. I blanked. I've un-muted. My God. I had my shot. I beg you. You had your shot? No. I mean, I had my shot to do it without you interrupting.

Oh, I see it. Yes. And I forgot the word. I had to call line. You blanked. That happens sometimes. That happens sometimes. The things that are very familiar, you can just blank on a name. Okay.

I have an idea. I'm going to do it right now. Ready? I'm going to do it really quick. All right. Good afternoon. Welcome to The Neighborhood Listen. I am Joan Pedestrian, and with me is Burt Pedestrian.

No! No. I think that is going to confuse people. We are not a married couple. We are friends, and we are neighbors. My name is Burt Mia Payday, and we are not together in that sense. No, we're not. And listen, I think everyone's been welcome to the show plenty now.

I think we need to move on. I think so. Let's get into this board game library. Because I want to know, in order to fill a room with board game instructions, have you had them leather bound? Or are we just talking about thousands and thousands of board game booklets? They're in... Oh, God.

Now, dang it. That was a good idea to, now I'm going to want them leather bound because that's a beautiful idea. I mean, that would be impressive. Right now, they're just, you know how you go get the little sort of plastic coverlet with a little color.

Yes, exactly, for your school report. Right, you just clip the color plastic thing on. That's right. Yes, and then there's just tabs for, you know, A, B, C, it's alphabetical. And then, and like he said, we have a Dewey system that just tells you basically. A Dewey system, sure. Dewey decimal system.

But it's not really a decimal system. It's just basically. So it's not based on the Dewey decimal system, just some other Dewey? No, it's just what I really wanted. All I wanted were those little cute drawers that you pull out. That's all I really wanted from the Dewey decimal system is the adorable drawer. Oh, sure. Yes, absolutely.

You know those adorable drawers. Yes. Every library, it would be like an end cap sometimes. And you would go up there and you didn't know how to use it. And the librarian, you would ask the librarian for help under the guise of wanting to learn how to do it yourself. And then the librarian would come over. Also, wait, Bert, what do you mean by end cap? End cap, it's a sort of, forgive me, I work in sort of a retail establishment. So

an end cap is a display that's on the end of an aisle. So you have your shelves and then on the ends, you have, they're capped off with another smaller display. Like all that shitty jewelry that they try to sell you at the pharmacy. Yeah. I mean, affordable jewelry, we like to call it. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, listen, I'm not insulting the one specifically at your pharmacy. I actually don't, I haven't looked at the jewelry there. I'm sorry, Berndt, I didn't mean to upset you. No, no offense taken. It is shitty, but I

I of course can't be on record as saying that. Understood, understood. So we will cut this part out. So we But I have learned the part about end cap and I didn't know that. Yes. Isn't that fun? It's fun. End cap. So what we have are the

drawers and really you just look in there and it just says, oh, you know, it is alphabetical. It just says Yahtzee. It's just color. It just says it has a tape color of like it's blue and then you just look up and you're like, oh, right. It's under Y and it's blue. It's really like I said, there's no decimals.

We have so many. The whole spectrum. Thousands of colors. Yeah. Yeah, it's easy. You just look up the color in the Dewey system, and then you match the color to the game booklet. And like I said, Bernd, it's just... But there's thousands of them. And it's not in a full room, okay?

Because the big cup and the oversized die, they take up half the room. So that's one side of the room. And then there's like a little shelf for some extra games. And then on the one big wall is all the catalogs, yes. So there's a side of the room. And then there's like a little shelf for some extra games. And then on the one big wall is all the catalogs. Yes. So there's a shelf for extra games. So where are the main games stored?

Well, again, we had a game room and then we had a slot underneath the stairs. You know how that's really like a good place to put games, you know, a little. Oh, yeah. Like a little Harry Potter room. Exactly. Sure. I learned about this, by the way. Harryter lived under the stairs you well right did you read did you learn that because you read the books or now i i skim stuff on the internet um i when i saw how

many books there were i was out um it did just seem like a lot sure okay and i assume he died in the last book and i thought this is like a up to heartbreak. So why would I read this? Oh, Bert. If that's how you react to things, you could probably never see. You couldn't consume much art because so much of it ends in tragedy. Well, there's some tragedies that I like. But he was a child. I didn't want to see that happen.

I understand. What's your favorite tragedy? Oh, probably Othello, the Moor of Venice. Oh, boy Othello, the Moor of Venice. Oh, boy. Really? And see, I was just going to say, oh, then you would hate Shakespeare because it's so much tragedy. Except for the comedies, of course. I like Shakespeare's tragedies because there's so many speeches.

And I feel like if you're going to do a tragedy, have it be speeches. You know, I watched that. We talked about that in Mare of Easttown easttown not enough speeches everyone just talked like regular common people and if they had done more speeches i would have enjoyed the show more i have i think i've got one of the songs by the way oh this is oh this is exciting news listen this is just i'm it's a work it's work it's a work in progress as everyone knows maybe or maybe not i have a tiktok account that where i'm working on mayor of east on the musical yes and this is might be sort of a meta moment where the where the townspeople step outside and it sort of is addressing the fact that there are so many different red herrings in that show you constantly think it's someone else and so

it's almost like one of those fun ensemble moments you know when everyone comes out with a fan and corsets maybe and they're bouncing like this and they're commenting on the action, right? They're saying, is it him or is it him or is it her? Is it her or is it him or is it him? Is it the priest? Is it the cop? Is it the dog? Is it the bike? Is it him or is it her or is it him? Is it the Philly cheesesteak that Bear ate?

Is it the vape that she smoked on? Is it Siobhan? Is it Siobhan? Is it Siobhan? Is it Siobhan? No one ever thought it was Siobhan! Now, just trying to get the staging right here. People are wearing corsets and... Oh, thank you. Thanks, Doug. I appreciate that. That's wonderful. Absolutely. I like seeing that. That's very nice.

But so you're putting this in sort of the, like a Music Man era kind of staging. Is that correct? Well, it's almost like a Greek chorus, but maybe it'll just be a colonial chorus. You know, I do. I do. We're in Pennsylvania. You know, maybe there's maybe they're the ghosts of the town. And this town has always had it rough.

And there's always been terrible murders. And so maybe it's all the, I'm just thinking of this now, Bernt, so go with me. This is a little outside the box. Absolutely. Maybe these are the ghosts of the town, of all the other unsolved murders. So they're following around and they're kind of guiding Mare. They're just placing little clues here and there. They are colonial ghosts, much like the Funky Phantom, if anyone remembers that cartoon.

I don't. That was a very weird cartoon from the 70s where the protagonist, it was a sort of Scooby-Doo, but the Scooby-Doo was a colonial ghost. Really? Well, does this step on the toes of the Funky Phantom? I don't think so. But this makes me think something, Joan. Don't you think it was a huge mistake to not put Ben Franklin in Hamilton? Who would not have wanted to see Ben Franklin rapping?

When I think about it, it makes my blood boil. What a missed opportunity. Bert, I've never heard you have such a strong opinion on a musical before. I didn't even know that you listened to Hamilton a whole lot. You are clearly a fan. When I heard about Hamilton, I said, oh, I can't wait. There's going to be a Ben Franklin rap. And then when I listened

to it... Wait, that's exactly what you said? That's exactly what I said to myself. I said, well, I gotta listen to this. And he's not even in it at all. mean that's not he's in 1776 he's featured heavily in that which was the original musical about the founding fathers but maybe they just thought he had his moment in the sun i know he doesn't rap i mean you know jefferson's in both why can't i i mean i've just a crazy missed opportunity and there's guys you are in there. I think they would have won a lot more awards

and had a lot more success if they put him. I think so. That would have been the breakout number. People would not have stopped talking about Ben Franklin with his long mane of hair. Would just be a list of inventions and just all of his sayings? Sure.

What would you rap about, Bert? Oh my God. The idea of putting all of Ben Franklin's little witticisms into a rap, I, oh, I, it just, what a shame. What a true shame. Wow. I, you know, I love your passion about this. I love your passion about this.

Maybe, maybe I'll put together ben franklin rap for you how about that well could it include the phrase my name is ben franklin i'm here to say a penny saved is a penny earned today i don't know that that's that that's a i don't know that and i'm here to say is something that would fit with the the vibe of the rest of the show, but yes, I will consider it. But that's what makes it a standout! That's what makes it a standout! Some real old school stuff. And then Ben Franklin, he brags about all the women he sleeps with.

He brags about all his inventions. I didn't know you were such a Ben Franklin. This is what it really is. You're a Ben Franklin fan. Here's the two things I love. Old school rap where people just brag about their stuff and Ben Franklin, America's freakiest founding father. Sounds like you

wish that instead of the poster for Hamilton of Hamilton standing on a star with his fist in the air, you want a kite in silhouette with a Franklin standing on top with his fist in the air. You wanted Franklin. You wanted Franklin the Tell me you can't see.

You wanted Franklin the musical. Well, look, here's the thing. I get why Franklin is better in small doses because he's a big personality. Well, I'm going to follow the rules of today and interrupt you there and say that we should probably move on to the next segment. You did.

You did wait for me to finish. So do you want to make it a true interruption and I'll start my sentence again and then you can cut me off? Yes. Okay. I didn't get to you fast enough. Exactly. I get why, Franklin, you want him in small doses because he's a big personality. And that is our first section.

We will be right back. Hi, Alberta here. Three bunnies, three. I have one male and two female bunnies, and they need a new home. They are very friendly and have been handled a lot. They do not need to be adopted together. In fact, that would be a bad idea. None of the bunnies have been spayed or neutered. So there's three bunnies. Again, they are very friendly, especially with each other. And if you like those three bunnies, come and get them. Also, if there's anyone out there who needs 67 bunnies, I also have 67 bunnies.

And welcome back. No. Welcome back. What? What is it? You interrupted yourself. Welcome back. What?

What is it? You interrupted yourself. I did interrupt myself because I thought I heard somebody say something and then I stopped and then, you know, but that's been happening a lot. Anyway. Like at home when you're alone? Yeah. Are you hearing voices again? Yeah.

At night. We have a guest here in the studio. The studio, of course, the Kitchen Island here. Right. Right. here in the studio. The studio, of course, the kitchen island here. And this is the post that this person posted on the NeighborHap. As you know, which we did not talk about at the beginning of the show, we

collect posts from the social networking application, the NeighborHap. It's where neighbors post things about the neighborhood here at Dignity Falls. And we like to meet these people. Collect sounds creepy. Just collecting automatically sounds creepy? We collect posts.

I mean, you know. I don't know. Collections creep me out. And I say that as someone. Any kind of collection. And I say that as someone with several catalogs of game instructions upstairs. I was going to say, physician heal thyself. Anyway, this is a post from the NeighborHap.

This is under general. And this is a post from Andy. Andy writes, Bad and loud bird outside. There is a very bad and loud bird outside of my house. And then the emoji for someone yelling. Then all caps. Tweet, tweet, tweet.

All day and night. Does anyone have any tricks to get rid of bad and loud birds? Then there is a red face crying emoji. A monkey covering its ears. That looks like a yellow lady who is hiding in a bag and a bird emoji. It looks like a pigeon to me. Now, please welcome to the Neighborhood Listen, Andy. Andy, thank you for coming on the show. Hi, Andy.

Hi, thanks for having me. Sure. Now, I'm very sorry for your troubles with this bird. Oh, my gosh. And you know what? And I'm so sorry if I'm not very chipper today because I was woken up at 4.30 this morning by one of those bad loud birds. I'll tell you, they just don't stop.

I think they're doing it on purpose. Can I ask why you're giving them the assigned judgment of bad though? That's the thing. Have you ever seen a peacock? That's a bird. I'm sorry. It's a what bird?

It's a bird. It's a bird. Peacock's a bird bird. I'm sorry. It's a what bird? It's a bird. It's a bird. Peacock's a bird. It is, correct. It's a big bird. But it's a good bird because it's quiet. It's pretty. It doesn't cause any trouble in the morning.

It lets you sleep in. These birds that are outside of my house have been loud, rude. And to be honest, I think that one time when they were cacaling at me, they might've said, hey, Andy, we don't like you. I think they said it. My husband told me I was crazy, but I don't think it's nice to call women crazy.

I'm sorry, you're saying the birds used human speech and said- Okay, they were saying, they were like They were saying they were like, like that. And then they were like, wake up like that. We don't like you. And I said, really? You didn't need to go that far. The calling was rude enough.

You didn't have to say we don't like you, Andy. That was next level. It was unnecessary. Listen, I want to circle back. And I agree with you, Andy. I was next level. It was unnecessary. Listen, I want to circle back and I agree with you, Andy. I do not like when people call women crazy. My first question is,

do you think these could be parrots if they are actually speaking to you? I don't. That sounds ridiculous. Why would parrots be outside of my lovely bungalow? Well, we have these wild parrots sometimes that these packs

of wild parrots that roam around. Wild parrots? That's the of wild parrots that roam around. Wild parrots? That's the last thing I need. That's just some thugs, some thug birds. That's even worse than a bad bird. That's a thug bird. We don't like those.

I have two points to make. First of all, peacocks are actually very loud and they give a cry that is very distressing to hear. So true. What does it sound like? Oh, it's like, it sounds like a shriek of agony. Oh,

okay. Secondly, if they are parrots, I'm going to suggest something here. What if you were to lean outside your window and say, we love you, Andy, you're great, Andy.

I'm teaching them to say something nice to her. Exactly. Exactly. It would be nice if they said something pleasant, like have a lovely day, Andy, or like, you know, tell us your dreams, Andy. No one ever wants to listen to my dreams. Every day I tell my husband over cereal, do you want to hear my dream from last night? He says, no. He calls me crazy and then he won't listen to my dreams every day i tell my husband over cereal do you want to hear my dream from last night he says no he called you and then he won't listen to my dreams you meant literal

dreams i thought at first you meant like aspirations or hopes i did too no i do tell them that but that's that's another subject yes no i i meant my literal dreams if they're gonna wake me up they gotta listen to my dreams no i'd like to know a little bit about your husband. I was going to say the same exact thing because I sort of feel like that's a bigger sort of story underneath all of this bird nonsense. I would say that about 70% of my frustration is my husband, Darnell, and 30% is the bad birds. But we can talk about Darnell if you want. I mean, I don't know what I'm supposed to tell you outside of my couples therapy sessions that we've been going to because we've been making some progress. Oh, that's fantastic. How long have you been going to couples therapy?

13 years now. Oh, okay. I've known it since I was very young. I'm a very young, healthy woman. You look it. Virile. Are women virile? I am virile. We did not mean to suggest otherwise. I think that's fine to call ourselves virile. Sure. Absolutely. Good.

But yeah, we've been going to couples therapy, but he's so, he's just rude. That's the thing is, I have a, he tells me my voice is loud and grating, and he tells me I'm crazy. He tells me the birds aren't even that loud. And I'm like, Darnell, your hearing,

go get it checked. They're horrible. And then he tells me they're not bullying me. They're bullying me. I'm sorry. What's that, Bert? Well, has he gotten his hearing checked? I check it every day.

I scream, can you hear me? I scream it in his ear. And he says, yes, I can hear you.. I scream, can you hear me? I scream it in his ear. And he says, yes, I can hear you. And I said, okay, well, then your hearing seems like it's fine. So how do you not hear these birds screaming at your wife? He's not even going to protect me from birds. What's he going to do if, you know, a real criminal comes into our home? Because these bird criminals, they're pretty tough.

Oh, you're calling them criminals now. Now they're criminals. They were bad. Now they're criminals. I still don't believe the thing about the peacock. I still think they're good birds. I've never heard them shriek. They're gorgeous, of course, but they do.

Beautiful. The sound is terrible. Okay. So have you, have you. Is that a peacock sound? That is a peacock. That sounds a little bit like the birds outside of my house. Oh, did it just say help?

It sounds like it's saying ouch and help, yes. Well, I don't want to feel sorry for them. Quit playing that sound. I don't want to know what they're, I don't want to, if they're in pain, I don't want to think about it. Well, now you have sympathy for the peacock. But do you know what type of birds? Have you gotten a glimpse of them? Could you describe them? They're very big.

Oh, like how big? Oh, like the size of a possum. Have you ever seen a possum before? Well, that's a big bird. That's a very big bird. That's like a bird. And when they spread their wings, I'm telling you, I can't even. They're massive birds. They're just standing out there. And they're looking at me. They telling you, I can't even, they're massive birds.

They're just standing out there and they're looking at me. They have those, you know, those eyes when you see a dog and you're like, that dog used to be a man. I know it. Oh, you mean like the poodles? You mean the poodles that have human faces and it looks like there's a human soul trapped inside. Thank you for understanding me. I am with you. When you see one of those dogs

and you're like, that used to be a man. That's a reincarnated man Maybe it still is. from the past. That is a man in there. He's screaming, help me.

Correct. Oh, I feel you on this one, Andy. These birds are birds that are looking at me and saying, I'm gonna fuck you up, Andy. They're not the nice kinds of men trapped inside of animals. Oh, so the ones that you see in dogs, you always get a good sense from of their soul, so to speak?

Yeah. I saw a Cocker Spaniel. I said, your name was Ruben in a past life. I knew it. I knew it from his look. And he looked at me like, yes, Andy, you're correct. And I said to him, you seem like a nice dude. I'd play checkers with you sometime.

So he agreed, but he yes, Andy'd your suggestion of his name? Oh, yeah. Is that a little theater term you're doing there? The yes, Andy? Yes, it is. I took a couple classes in college. So did I. I knew I liked you.

You were in class together. But yes, Andy, he agreed with me. He said, I am the person you think I am. I felt his spirit. My husband said I was crazy.

Again, Darnell, rude. Right. I have a question about Darnell in a second, but I do want to ask, the men that are cast into the bodies of dogs, is this a punishment?

Is it a curse? Is it the karmic wheel? Is it reincarnation? What do you think it is? Oh gosh, I would think it's a treat. Can you imagine? You go from working nine to five every day, just trying to make a buck and just trying to pay your bills and keep up with life. And then you get to be a dog laying around all day, getting belly rubs, humping whatever you want, whenever you want. I don't know. I think it's a treat. She makes a good point, Bernt. I agree.

It sounds great. But you did use the term trapped. And I felt like you looked at these dogs. I felt like you looked at these dogs and you thought they are trapped in there. Well, that's the thing. When you first look at them, you see a little bit of sadness behind their eyes. But it's like a man, you know? Men, they look sad.

And then you get to know them and most of them are sad. But then you're like, but you're doing okay. You've got a pool. You know what I mean? They're okay. What do you see when you look in Darnell's eyes? When I look in Darnell's eyes, I see a spirit. It's like a light and the light went out, you know, about five

years ago, the light went out. He's still present. You know, he's still a good man. He's a good husband. But for some reason, whenever I talk to him, whenever I just say, Darnell, you know, let's go have a nice dinner tonight. Whenever I do that, he just, he doesn't want to, he, his eyes just go blank. And he just looks at me like, why? You know? Let me, let me ask you this about Darnell. Has Darnell

ever seen these birds? Well, no, he hasn't. He has not seen them. He, he told me he doesn't think they exist. He told me he doesn't think they exist. That's why I wrote on the app because I was like, someone needs to tell me. They hear them as well. Someone needs to tell me how to stop them. They've got to be stopped. Right, out of curiosity, did anybody comment underneath

that they could hear those birds? I had a couple people tell me just to deal with it, which is, you know, that's a crazy suggestion. And then I had some people tell me, you know, because they're just saying, oh, they're birds, it's nature. That's what happens when you have a house, a little cute bungalow on a hill. But it's like, I don't want to be grateful. I want to shut them up. You know, I had a couple little kids tell me to get some slingshots out and shoot them with slingshots.

I was like, that's very retro. I love it. It is. It didn't work. I had terrible aim. But you did try it. I tried it. Of course I tried it. It is. It didn't work. I had terrible aim. But you did try it. I tried it. Of course I tried it. Even though they're gigantic birds, it was just hard to hit them. They're gigantic. The thing is, have you ever shot a sling? I went to Etsy. I bought a couple slingshots, a couple different versions.

A wooden one, a steel one, one from like a Dennis the Menace era. I tried it out. I shot them. They're difficult. It's hard to get the aim right. They are. Because sometimes you get a little nervous.

You might have a little twitch in your hand. Yes. My twins went through a slingshot phase and it was not pretty. Well, of course they did. So you know. You know all about that. I sure do. They were doing, just so you know, Andy, Joan has three kids.

She has her daughter, Jaliopi. Correct. And then the twins, Matt and Fregal. Beautiful. And those, the boys are very into ancient weaponry and fire.

Very into both. Yes. And they, they did combine that with the slingshots. And I remember that was, we almost lost the library uh because they were they were taking atomic fireballs the candy dousing them in turpentine and uh the one the one twin uh matt would like pull it back and then uh ford would light it and then off it went and uh that's that's when we stopped having the thatched roof on the library it was charming for a while and then they

said no this is we see the mistake now i tried to do that at my house i said it wouldn't pass an inspection and i'm like who are you to tell me what's safe in my own home you know now that's interesting i am a realtor you know um andy, Andy. So what's the problem with the bungalow? When was it built? Oh, it was built in the 20s. So it's very retro. It's kind of Victorian style, you know, but it has that thatched roof

because they couldn't finish it. They ran out of money. You know, in the 20s, everybody was kind of broke. That 1920 thatched roof. Yeah. Yeah, they ran out of money. They ran out of, they got tired.

They just decided to just throw some hay up there. They threw some hay on top of the roof. Do you live on James A. Garfield Boulevard? I do. Yes. Do you know my bungalow? The fast-growing bungalow from the 20s? They have all those 20s buildings, various 20s architecture,

and they call that section of the neighborhood the Roaring 20s. And it's very charming to see them. It's very nice. Wait a minute. Is this, okay, Garfield. So your house is essentially, well, straw, right? It's- Only on the roof.

The rest of it is very sturdy. Right, but I see, I remember passing through that neighborhood once and I said to Doug, look at that house. The roof is entirely covered in birds. Wait, you saw the birds? And I said to Doug, look at that house. The roof is entirely covered in birds. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Wait, you saw the birds? Well, I'm now remembering that because, and I didn't know why.

It was like the roof was. You saw them and did nothing. No, no, they were just sitting there. At first they came for the woman with the thatched roof and I did nothing. Is that true? Sharp accusation. Wow, wow. No, I just remembered they weren't making a sound.

They weren't making a sound. They were, they were, I thought they were eating the thatched roof. Well, maybe they were good for you. That's the thing about a bad bird. A bad bird isn't always a bad bird in public. They were gaslighting you. This is the thing. Every time I think there's no such thing as a bad bird, Andy comes back with a reason that you can't disprove.

Yeah. That's the thing. You look at them and you see them with their little eyes and they're looking at you and they're pretending to be sweet. And so then you look away. But when you turn around, that's what you got to do. You got to quickly turn back at them and look at them and then see that they're doing some shame. What I'm saying is I saw birds. I didn't hear them.

I'm wondering if you see the bird, but then is there any chance that you might be hearing something inside of yourself? I'm not saying you're crazy. You're starting to sound like Darnell. I got it. No, I'm not. No, I'm not Darnell. I am not Darnell. The light is in my eyes.

Look in my eyes. There's light in my eyes. There's a spirit in my eyes. We're not trying to Darnell. I am not Darnell. The light is in my eyes. Look in my eyes. There's light in my eyes. Absolutely. There's a spirit in my eyes. We're not trying to Darnell you. Because if Darnell hired you to interview me, then that's, we're going to have a problem.

I'm going to have to go. Absolutely not. I'm just seeing how sometimes we can, if you have a, did you have a bad experience with birds as a kid or something? Oh, good one, Joan.

Well, my stepfather was a bird like man, a bird like man. Wow. A bird-like man. Wow. Talk about dramatic pauses and how they changed a lot. I mean, that was, wow. Well, you know, the difference between a bird- I mean, we almost had the case wrapped up right there, Burns.

Absolutely. That would have solved everything. That colonial course would have said, and that is the end of that. It could have been it, but the difference between a bird and a bird-like man is very small, you know? But it is unless there was something else about your dad.

Did you have a good relationship with him? Was he a nice man? Was he a loud man? I would say he was a nice man in a robotic distant sort of way. He didn't enjoy children. He didn't enjoy

sounds that children made. He didn't enjoy the presence of children. And we were children. So it was a little problematic. Absolutely. How many possums would you say he was as big as? Oh, he was about four possums stacked on top of each other.

He was a short man. That's not that tall. Yeah, not that tall. A possum is big for a bird, but for a man, a possum is small. Yeah, I've never used a possum as a unit of measurement for a human. I actually do fairly often use possums as a unit of measurement. That's funny that you don't actually. Well, what can I

say? Is it a problem? Is that what you said? It's a problem? No, I would never say it's a problem. I'm no because-ing you. It's improv. We took one class in college. That's the thing is we both know a little bit. We both know a little bit about improv. Just a little bit.

Andy, if I may. No, Bert, you go. You go. I wonder, Andy, is it possible, and feel free to tell me if I'm wrong, that it's Darnell that's saying these things to you? I'm sorry. You said Darnell and I got upset.

You said Darnell is saying these things to me? No, I'm asking. Do you think that's a possibility? That Darnell is making the bird sounds? No, no, no, no. I think you're projecting onto the birds what your husband's saying to you. Is that what you're saying, Bird? Right.

Yeah, kind of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. It's possible. It's possible. It is possible. I would say anything is possible, though. I don't want to, you know, deny that it's not.

It could be possible. But you're open to it. I think that's a huge deal. I'm open to it. I've been, a lot of people have been saying that, including my husband. Who else has been saying that? Is the couples therapist saying that? The couples therapist doesn't speak to me much anymore. She says that I'm exhausting and that I refuse to

change and heal. I think that's ridiculous. I think that healing, it's a process. It takes a different amount of time for everybody. I've been in therapy 13 years with her, and I'm the same exact person I was when I started, and I think that's fine. Darnell thinks it's fine. I mean, he, you know, the light is out in his eyes, but he seems to think it's okay. And you live alone, the two of you? Do you have pets? Do you have children? We do have a

dog. The dog also hears the birds. How do you know? The dog does hear the birds. how do you know the dog does hear the bird because when when when i hear the birds i go and then the dog goes and so then he knows he's sleeping at my feet and when i wake up he wakes up and he hears the birds because he he barks and that means he hears okay for now i have a different theory do you yeah yes i do let me ask you about your dog what's his name or her name oh it's a shipwreck shipwreck does shipwreck seem to have a soul trapped inside of shipwreck well not really i think shipwreck is a pretty straight up dog it's a pug i don't usually think that pugs have human

men trapped inside of them. No, they just look like little goblins. Yes, exactly. Little goblins. They can't breathe. They're really snorty. Right, exactly. But there's never really men inside.

No, not enough room. What's that? Not enough room. Not enough room. Maybe your dad. What's that? Maybe your dad. Maybe my dad?

He was only four possum stall maybe maybe he could be trapped in a bug that might be very possible do you think that my stepdad is trapped in shipwreck maybe he's trying to bond with you finally i this is i wasn't ready for to to dig this deep uh into my trauma so i'm gonna have to process that uh yes we want to be responsible at that we we're and i are not licensed in any way or or not educated that's not our world okay i actually guide you through any kind of trauma we're merely judgmental wait a minute unlicensed therapist i don't think that i think why is that i don't know it's kind of just you know freewheeling and dealing.

You get to just party, you know, and then maybe you'll arrive at a good conclusion. Maybe you'll just end up at a bar, you know. Oh, my. Oh, no. You never know. Truly unlicensed. You can go anywhere when they're unlicensed. All bets are off.

Cheaper, too. Sorry? I said they're cheaper. It'saper, too. Sorry? I said they're cheaper, too. It's cheaper, too. That is correct. That's correct. Cheap just reminds me of the birds. Cheap, cheap.

Cheap, cheap. 4.30 in the morning. Cheap. Cheap, cheap. Can I point out one thing about shipwreck hearing the birds? Please. You did say that you hear the birds, then you make a noise, and then shipwreck responds. Right.

Darnell has said the same thing. I know what you're going to say. I'm not trying to Darnell you. I'm making a noise in my sleep. Shipwreck is just responding to me making a noise. There are no birds, right? That's what they all say. Oh, wait, you said you make the noise

in your sleep yes so wait are you ever you're oh this was not at all established you're you're asleep when you hear the birds like you mean are you sleep like are do you fully wake up i don't fully wake up i have what's called sleep screams have you ever heard of those i i have heard of those yeah Yeah. It's when you just scream in your sleep all the time. Yeah. It's like, I can't control it, but they, they don't always wake me up. Sometimes they do. Um, but they don't wake me up nearly as much as those bad, bad birds do. Right. Oh, I see. Okay. Let me ask you this. Um, this is it regardless of your sleep screams. Um, but if if you when you wake up from the

birds when the birds wake you up do you still hear them after they have awoken you oh it's a good question oh yeah oh you do okay i hear them and i say i say don't talk to me until i've had my coffee you know and then after i have my coffee, I don't hear him anymore. So you hear birds in the middle of your sleep. You don't really wake up. You start screaming. What does Darnell do? What does your dog do?

Darnell, he wakes up and he pushes me. Not like a, not, you know, not an abuse push, just like an aggressive shove to his wife in bed who's screaming, which I think is fair. This is in bed who's screaming. Which is, I think, fair. This is allowed. It's allowed. You're allowed to aggressively shove your partner in bed. If they're snoring, if they're screaming. Just a little nudge.

Okay. Sometimes I sleep cuddle him a little too tight and he's like, get off of me, you know? But it's okay. I understand it. So he just nudges me awake and I say, did you hear the birds? As soon as I, as soon as I wake up and he says, it was you, it was you, Andy. And I say, Darnell, I can't deal with this. It's three in the morning. You know,

I really don't want to Darnell you, but boy, oh boy. I, I, I, I, it's hard to hear that story and know everything that we know now about the shipwreck and about your father. It's hard. I'm going to say it's hard to hear that account and not think Darnell might, might be on to something. Yeah. Can I ask you, Andy, when you were going to couples therapy before the therapist ghosted you, did, did you ever bring up the birds to the therapist? Well, I did. I brought them up to her because that was about when she kind of started being like, you know what? I think I don't want to be here anymore. But I kept talking to her about

the birds. And I said, yes, Darnell and I have marriage issues. However, can we pause that, take a timeout, and talk about these bad, bad birds? And they're tweeting. I can't take the tweets. And she said, this is not pertinent, I think that's the word, to our session. And I said, listen, Linda, you're unlicensed. I'll tell you what's pertinent

to our session, you know? So Linda was unlicensed as well. I assumed that Linda was licensed. Well, so did I, you know, so did I. 12 years in, I found out she wasn't. I just said, well, now we're stuck with you. So we might as well just keep going. Oh, that's tough. Oh, wow. That's tough. I guess, you know, sometimes I feel a little bit at a loss and I don't feel like we've helped Bernt.

Yeah. That's okay. I mean, first, I mean, that was never our job, but. Maybe because sometimes we did, it became my expectation. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah. Because a lot of people did have problems and and uh some we helped and some uh were just uh uh clinically insane but let me do you want to say joan if your sons ever want to come over with their little fire toys and their

slingshots and their demented personalities they can try give me give the birds a try you know oh you don't want that you don't you don't want to invite that into your home. Talk about demons trapped in humans. They won't stop at the birds. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's the problem. Yeah, we don't want that because I do have a dog and a Darnell at home and I don't want them hurt. So I would

have you tried earplugs because, you know, at the pharmacy we have all kinds you know, we have those kind of silicone ones that mold to your ears. Do you sell them on an end cap? They often appear on an end cap. That's correct, Joan. Okay.

Well, then there you go. How about that? You know, I've tried them before, but I feel as though when I put an earplug into my ears, my thoughts get louder. They get very loud. They're like, get us out of here. What do we do? We feel trapped. And then they're like, shut up, Andy.

And I'm like, why do you have a Southern accent? You know, my own thoughts. I see. I see. I understand. Hmm. My suggestion is to actually record the sound in your home tonight. That's my suggestion. That's a terrific idea.

Perhaps even film. If you have a Nest Cam. Something like that. I think that's going to be the only way. You've got a paranormal activity, this situation, and I think you've got to see what happens. You might be surprised with what you see

or don't see. You might be surprised with what you hear or don't hear. I like the fact that you sound like you're going both ways on it, but you know that I'm seeing and hearing things, right? I think also you should take this footage to a medical

professional. I support that statement. Yeah. And a licensed medical professional? Nope. No, somebody that works from the neck up. Oh, a neurologist. Okay. I will think about that.

Think about it. Think about it. What are they going to do? Give it an MRI? I don't understand. Do you mean a therapist? No. I mean, I think that we're past that. I think that, um, uh, I think you might want to really, uh, we're talking, I think.

Really get in there. Really, like, physically get in there. Yes. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I think you might want to really, we're talking, I think. Really get in there. Really like physically get in there. Yes, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well,

I'm, I love to get as many medical tests as possible every time I go into an office. So I will do that. Into any office. I just tell them, give me the works. And they're like,

this is the podiatrist lady. And I'm like, go head to toe. I don't care. You like toes. So just work your way down to them, you know? Well,

Andy, you're real fun. You're fun to talk to. I'll tell you. I don't care. You like toes, so just work your way down to them, you know? Well, Andy, you're real fun. You're fun to talk to. I'll tell you. You're fun to talk to. I enjoy being here. If you see Darnell, you tell him. Tell him that they're real, the birds. Tell him I'm not crazy. I don't want to get in between you and Darnell, frankly. That doesn't sound like a good idea. Family matter, yeah, exactly.

Yeah, yeah. Exactly. But I would definitely get that camera set up tonight and I would film. I would just press record and see what happens. I think that's a great idea. And you know what? You did help. This is very helpful.

I'm glad to hear that, John. Congratulations. We helped. We did. Listen to, I feel heard. I feel like I have a little bit of a solution. I will still bug you about your kids. I want them to come over and commit violence.

Oh, you really don't. You don't want it. You absolutely don't. They made their own napalm last night. They're like Mrs. O'Leary's cow. Oh. We don't want them to tip over a gas can and, you know, light my thatched roof on fire. That's exactly right. Okay.

I spelled it out for you. Yeah, you... Well, Andy, for you. Yeah. Well, Andy, thank you. Thank you so much for joining us. And of course, we wish you the best of luck with all your bad bird problems. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me.

And I'm going to keep you updated. I'm going to send you an email every day until I find them and kill them. Or send them somewhere else. I won't kill them. I'm not a murderer. Sure. Oh, okay. Great. Well, listen, all the best to you.

All the best to you. Thank you. We love to end a segment with somebody saying, I'm not a murderer and then maniacal laughter. All right. We will be right back with more of the Neighborhood Listen. It's baking time! Hola, my beautiful neighbors! Hola, Dignity Falls!

I love you! Who needs bread? Hot, fresh sourdough to your door! Message me for a loaf! Mwah! And welcome back to the end of the Neighborhood Lesson. Boy, that Andy. I know.

I mean, yeah, there's a lot. Well, not a lot going on there. There's one thing going on there. I think that's correct. And it needs to be treated. I think, yeah. Well, hopefully she'll get some help. I'm telling you, if she films what happens tonight, she'll probably.

Can I? This just occurred to me. Do you think Darnell is real? Oh, no. Oh, don't, Bernell is real oh no oh don't burnt don't i don't know i i kind of the as we're as we're uh safely away from andy um i i'm realizing i i don't think darnell was a real person really yeah i don't think so oh no i have my doubts about shipwreck as well i know i know uh and i just can't believe that that you know i just that that that house was not on my radar uh when she first mentioned it i mean it's that's that house should probably it should be taken down probably yeah i

think so too uh and you know part of the uh the reason it should be was that, probably. Yeah, I think so, too. And, you know, part of the reason it should be was that Woody Allen filmed a few scenes from Midnight in Paris on that street, and I think they should all go. Send the twins. Why he had to come here. No, Doug, we can't. I mean...

What did Doug say? He said send the twins. I think if you allow the twins to go over there and just destroy that neighborhood, raise it to the ground. Napalm. It's it's going to give them it's going to exactly it's going to give them a taste for destruction that will be unsated. It's like a dog tasting blood. You can't have that happen. I feel I feel uncomfortable talking about the twins most of the time because really it does. It paints me and dog in a real bad light. I got well i mean they could be bad seeds i don't know that it ever

happens much with twins but uh don't say that they love they still cry at toy story well i'm just trying to take the heat off of you two i i didn't mean to i'm proud of them you mean did you remember the movie bad seed i mean that's a really real that it's aed? I mean, that's a really, really, that's a terrible movie. That's a truly evil child. Is that what you think of Madden for now? Well, I'm not saying that that's exactly what's going on. It's just a possibility. Do you remember that movie?

Because it was based on a play, they actually took curtain calls at the end of the movie. Uh-uh. Why didn't that catch on more? Why didn't... How come after the usual suspects, they didn't that catch on more? Why didn't, how come after the usual suspects, they didn't have everybody line up and come out, take a bow.

That would be amazing. You mean in the actual theater? No. Yeah. I mean, they couldn't go to every screen. They filmed the curtain call. Wow. That is strange.

I did not know that. I did not know that. I did not know that about that movie. I don't remember. I remember seeing it once, and I frankly didn't like the implications that it made about a child. It's not a fun story. And this was at a time when I was in deep concern

for the twins, so. Right. Now here. But that deep concern has passed? Speaking of, well, no, because here's the thing. I have a post here. And see, when I see posts like this, I sometimes suspect

my children. Oh. Anyhow, not July P. She's got other problems. But, okay, so this is from Jim. And the title is,

because this could be anything, right? And we were just talking about their obsession with fire. Yes. Strange, waxy deposits. Oh, what an unpleasant subject line.

There is a strange, waxy deposit that we have experienced. Just the word. It is on our cars, patio, and here's the real twist, and at our kids' school. Now, that's far away. A second location. Correct. Get Mare on it right now. Does anyone know what it is?

That's it. That's the post. So, we've got a waxy deposit. Waxy deposit. I know. I know. And there's, and it would not,

maybe it would be okay if it was like one, one household, right? Because then you're like, oh, maybe it's bird poop. Maybe some little candle

and they forgot about it. Absolutely. But then it's at the kid's school and then it starts taking on just sort of a, like a, like a, like a creepier tone

well here's my immediate thought is uh that there are definitely two possibilities okay it's either the school's fault or the child's fault really okay so immediately you're thinking it's going to be the child in this family well i mean i I'm saying that if it's at the school and the child goes to the school, the child is either bringing the waxy deposit from the school to the home or from the home to the school or... Keep going.

The child is leaving a waxy deposit wherever it goes. The child is an alien who's still transforming into human form and leaving his, you know, waxy his blood, maybe. Which appears to us as a wax. I'm just saying, I hate this kind of stuff.

I really do. This is how those movies begin. It's like, oh, that's weird. There's a little wax on the car. Eh, no bother. And then the next minute, there's a ship and you're being attacked. It goes from that to that instantly almost, it seems. I wish I knew what they meant by waxy deposit. Me too.

Me too. Let me see if I can actually get into the comments and check. So now here's the other thing. Oh, I thought you were going to just type waxy deposit into Google. Oh, I don't want to do that. don't want to do that uh it does not in jim does not indicate if if they have a child so i mean i guess sure we could assume but wait he just said the kid's school let me let me look maybe he didn't oh never mind you're right it says our kid's school my bad i'm sorry okay then you know what that is that is the most obvious answer that is the kid but i wish they would say where they found it at the

kids school like is it all over the place is it like you shine a uv light and it's just i mean it's on the walls and it's on the seat like is it dripping from the from the ceiling is it coming off of the handlebars of the monkey bars is it on on, is it inside? I need to know if it's inside because then that's a whole different story. We can't blame something outside or nature or, yeah, and waxy. I think it's this child. This child has some,

something's wrong with this child. Oh, this is, I mean, it feels almost wrong to implicate this poor, innocent child we don't even know about. Do you think it is i mean we're talking about souls trapped in dogs i know this was a nutty this was a woo-woo kind of exactly do you think it's a pinocchio situation where this is a this is a little boy made out of wax out of wax and he came to life i just feel like that i mean so it's a frosty the snowman

situation where he really this was. Don't you think that in the time of him writing that post and that end of the day, his child would have been gone if it was a hot day? You're saying his child's made out of wax and becomes a real boy. Or you mean he's like transitioning from a wax boy to a. I'm sorry, this is really I'm getting lost in the weeds on this. I guess I'm just thinking in a way that Pinocchio could perhaps leave behind a few splinters or so. That maybe a wax boy could leave behind waxy deposits. Well, boys leave behind a bunch of things, you know, and it's true. Now, we rarely do this, but, you know, the comments are fairly interesting.

It's something I wouldn't have thought. The first comment says. I never would have thought that. The first comment says, jac would have thought that. The first comment says, Jacaranda trees, purple flowers. No. Do you think this person's never seen flowers before? And they think.

And he says, are they saying that Jack of the purple flowers? Let, let loose a waxy. Okay. So he says we do not. He answers. Jim answers.

We do not have any jacaranda anywhere near us. The deposits seem too heavy to be airborne and travel any distance other than down. This is getting weirder. Wow. And then someone says, pictures, which again sounds creepy. Yeah, it does. Then he says, my son. Okay, my son had a small bag of it, but I can't find it.

And it's a small bag of it. It says, but I can't find it. And it's since been cleaned up. I don't know what that means. The bag? The bag has been cleaned up. Had a small bag of heavy waxy deposits this is making the hair on the back of my neck stand up me too and then someone says that there are pine trees in your area and he says

just pepper trees and decorative pear and then someone says someone says from airplanes jet fuel mosquito spray oh no it's people getting, it's getting crazy. Chemtrails? Exactly. We're getting into that moment. And he said, and then someone says, no idea, but nice to see your name, old friend. Remember me from the insurance office? Now, Joan, as enjoyable as these comments are and that they're clearing things up,

I worry that people will get the impression that we want more comment threads submitted. I know. That's why I said we do not want. Which we do not want. We don't do this. Yes, we don't do this. Listen, I'm almost done. This was in the interest of science.

And then, of course, old friends reuniting. Old friends reunited. And it went off on many different threads. Okay. So some people just say that aphids can cause it. And someone says that if the color's yellow, it's from the bees. And listen, the only reason I did that,

and we don't, we certainly don't want to get, get trapped in the comments and we don't, we don't really deal with them. Please, please. And I am sorry for being, look,

this was, this was a weird day of rules. We interrupted and we read from the comments. Okay. Do you think it could be an old man with a candle? You know, like a sleepy old man walking. Like an Ipcabod Crane situation? Like a Wee Willie Winky?

Sure. I don't know. So a man, an old man wandering around with a candle? Stub of candle. A stub of candle dripping wax, depositing wax. And so he's only going two places. A stub of candle? A stub of candle dripping wax. Depositing wax. Why do you say it like it's the top choice for what it could possibly be? Like it's very normal. So this old man, he comes out at night when everyone's asleep.

He goes to this one house, sprinkles some on their car, and then he goes to the school. He's wondering what that noise was. He wakes up. Wondering what that noise was. He's got a whole, he's got it all figured out. Doug has it all figured out. And he putters along with the candle. We've all seen it. What do you mean we've all seen it? I don't think we've all seen it, Doug.

I don't know what, I don't, again, this is coming back to my colonial ghosts. I'm just saying. So far, that's the best theory. Thank you. That is colonial ghosts. I think it's colonial ghosts. And that's, I think, where I'm going to end.

Let's call it that. Let's call it that. Let's just say it was colonial ghosts. Because it's not. It's not bees. And it's not the jacaranda trees. And it's not that guy from the insurance office. It's not the guy from the insurance office.

It's not Wee Willie Winky. It's not Ichabod Crane. Okay. Well, that does it for another episode of The Neighborhood Listen. Thank you so much for listening.

And of course, we are, you can find us on Instagram at The Neighborhood Listen. And if you want to submit your own NeighborHap posts, you can send them to burntandjone

at gmail.com. No comment sections, please. Thank you for saying that again and sorry that we strayed from the path today. It just got a little nutty and we did go into the comments and it was we got into some strange stuff today. Some strange stuff. I don't know, something in the air.

Spooky episode. But for now, be well and thank you for listening. I'm Joan Pedestrian. I'm Bert Mia Payday. Goodbye. And bye. The Neighborhood Listen is executive produced and hosted by me, Paul F. Tompkins.

And me, Nicole Parker. Our producers are Brett Morris and Judith Cardboe. The show is engineered by Brett Morris, who also plays Doug. Our guest today was Nicole Thurman. The Neighborhood Listen is an Earwolf production. Want more of The Neighborhood Listen? Sign up and get a free month of Stitcher Premium. Go to stitcherpremium.com slash neighborhood,

select the monthly plan, and use the promo code neighborhood.