The Neighborhood Listen - The Confusing Gathering with Heather Anne Campbell

Episode Date: April 18, 2022

Burnt is all out of sorts this episode and Joan tries to cheer him up. Meanwhile, Doug reveals the latest renovated room he's recording the show from. Plus, special guest Louise (Heather Anne Campbell) clarifies her slightly confusing post calling on Dignity Falls residents to gather.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website. Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. Knock, knock.

Who's there? Your neighbor. Good. In Dignity Falls, you're never alone. You've got the NeighborHalf app and us, Vern, and Jode. From coyotes to mail theft to weird things to sell, we'll cover it all. And meet new neighbors as well. We'll chat about any posts you're missing, so just tune in to The Neighborhood Listen.

Hello and welcome once again to The Neighborhood Listen. Unless you're listening for the first time, in which case it is just... Welcome, Joan. Oh, Bert! You just got so sad all of a sudden, right away. It usually takes you a couple more minutes. I know, it just got away from me so fast. What's going on? What's happening, buddy? I don't... I mean, you know, it's, uh, it's certainly busy at work.

Uh, because yes, it is. Well, Oh my, my, my, I am so sorry. I apologize. What's going on with you? I am just, I'm just exhausted. I've been working double shifts at the pharmacy and, uh, you know, people are coming in now, now people want these booster shots and, uh, and you know, you're supposed to wait like a little bit of time before you get the booster shot.

And these people are like, uh, you know, they just, they just got their second shot and they're like, I'll take the third now. And, uh, you know, you're not, that's not the way it's supposed to work. But, uh, you know, these people. Listen, I, sorry, don't mean to, I'm listening to you. Go on. Take as much time as you need. You know, we don't mean i'm listening to you go on take as much time as you need you know we don't even have to release this episode do you want to just talk right now we don't even have to have we can tell the guests to just go away no i think we should

release it and i think i think it's good for people to hear all i was going to say was and these people are oh oh very so you cut me off actually at a really good time. Well, you woke up with, as I used to say to my kids, with a bitter bug in your pants. And that is fully understandable. Where does that expression come from? Is that one, is that a homegrown? Is that a? That's a homegrown Joan.

That's a Joan original? Homegrown Joan. That's homegrown Joan. We've got a lot of homegrown Joans around the house. What are some of the other expressions that you use with the kids? Pickly as a pellet. Pickly as a pellet. Pickly as a pellet.

Yep. And when would you use that one? Oh, when you're, well, it's different from prickly as a pear, which makes that one makes a lot more sense. That one I get. Although, you know what? I don't get that because pears are not prickly. A prickly pear. What's a prickly pear?

Are you serious? I'm dead serious. I've never been more serious in my life. Goodness. It's well, isn't there a Disney song that has that, that, that lyric in it?

It's a type of pear. That's it's prickly on the outside. It's like those, some of those fruits you have that are very, very thorny and prickly on the outside and soft and sweet on the inside. But what's, it's like a regular day. Well,

okay. But it's, it's like a regular note taken. It's like a regular pear, but it's got a little sort of pineapple, like spikes on the outside. Yeah. I wouldn't say spike. It's not, it's like a regular, note taken. It's like a regular pear, but it's got sort of pineapple-like spikes on the outside? Yeah, I wouldn't say spikes. It's not, it's, you'd have to look it up, but we, I've never actually had one.

I just have been told that there are prickly pears. I just assumed that was an expression and I've never seen one, nor did I have any idea that they were an actual thing that exists. Me neither, but I bought right into it and it just became canon in our house. But you have seen them since.

You have seen a prickly pear. I have seen them online. Sure. Yeah. So, so prickly as a pellet is more when you're salty, briny, you know, and it's, and we used to have- I'm not getting that from either pickley or pellet

i'll be honest with you well you wouldn't because you don't know the history of our home so what we used to do it's fair it's totally fair uh it used to be that we had uh when escrow was a puppy uh we would keep his food in the pantry and it would be a little bowl in the pantry and one time that dog ran in to get a jar of pickles where i keep them in the pantry right and it would be in a little bowl in the pantry. And one time, Doug ran in to get a jar of pickles where I keep them in the pantry. And it broke right on top of Escrow's dog food, which really was pellets because he was having trouble from the time he was a puppy. He had- And this is 25 years ago.

Yes. He had all sorts of problems. He had weird, he had eczema, but on his toenails, it was, it was so strange. And so they had, we had to have these medical pellets and, and they got very salty and briny immediately. And he ate them and escrow had a little attitude after that. And that's where I would say, I would actually say it to our dog. I'd say, you're pickly as a pellet. And that you wouldn't know it because only the pellets in our house were pickly. I don't know that it would work or apply to anyone else's home. Really. I mean, it's fun to imagine how many times the same accident could have occurred anywhere else in the world.

Like certainly farms, they feed a lot of the animals pellets. And I assume some farmers like pickles. You assume what now? Some farmers like pickles. Of course, you would imagine so. And so that is where it comes from. But what I do want to say, Berndt, is that I really appreciate, and I think we all do in the community, the work that you've done. It's been a very stressful time for anyone in or near the medical field. And you being in that pharmacy, that's got to be a lot of stress. And

again, this is why I constantly want you to get out of the house, get out of the home and do something. I think you need something to de-stress. Well, I like that idea, certainly. And, you know, for me, it's that I have been doing these double shifts. And so I just sort of sometimes I just sleep in the blood pressure machine chair and just take a few quick cat naps, Thomas Edison style. And then I'm right back at it, giving people the jab, as they call it in some countries. And then, of course, you have here. What do they call it here? What's the lingo in your pharmacy? I get injection. Oh, OK. Yeah. What's wrong with jab?

I think jab is fine, but I've seen it. Is it the pickly pellets of the of the other of other countries that we just can't identify with jab? It could very well be. I feel like I well be jab joan i'm not putting you on trial i i'm i'm merely pointing out it's not it's not commonplace here you're of course you're you're a very you're a very cultured person so uh you know you'd be you'd be more likely to say something like that but i see a lot of people when when they when people from the uk for instance say jab uh uh uh there are people here that think that's absurd. And they don't realize it's very common language over there. It's so weird when they say aluminum.

They're putting in an extra few letters there. They really are. Yes. I mean, I don't know where they get off. You know, they invented this language and then they have a word that's just incorrect. Well, to us it is, but not to them. But it is incorrect. Well, I mean, listen.

Joan, I need you to back me up on this. I agree with you. I was in the process. I'm having a day, Joan. This is what I'm saying. Okay, so what can we do? Can we do, have you tried meditation? What about massage?

I can't imagine you would let someone, A, in your home, B, to touch you in any way. Have we established I don't like to be touched? We have not. It seems like me, doesn't it? I think it does sure seem like you. Let's say that is part of my makeup. Yeah, I don't like to be touched. And to have somebody in my home.

You're the kind of person, I will say, that when I've hugged you, you do the thing where you just very lightly touch my shoulder. Oh, yes. Yeah. Yes, yes, yes. You know, a friend of mine has a friend that's exactly like that. That sounds like you're just talking about you. No, honestly. And what my friend does is he insists. If you had just said my friend, but then you went ahead extra and you said

my friend who has a friend. I thought, well, now we're back to burnt. Well, but then you cut me off. Which I do all the time, and normally you're not mad about it but today you are and and maybe i'll pull back from that these days i i have i have a friend who is who is a hugger and he has a friend who is not a hugger but the the hugger insists on hugging the non-hugger. Not all the time, but if they haven't seen each other for a while or something. And I think my friend, the hugger, is finally realizing he should give up on doing that. Oh, I think so.

I mean, hugging is a very, it's tricky. It's really tricky. I mean, now going forward, I think it'll be even trickier. But so, okay. So if you can't have a masseuse come and massage you, because that a deep tissue massage, oh boy, I bet you have tension in places. I bet you have tension in your nostrils.

Oh, my nostrils are very tense. They're very tense. Yes. And sometimes I could barely get air through there. Oh, so I would think that they're tense from a flare to open, but yours close right up, just like a Venus flytrap. That's absolutely right. One time I got a moth in there.

Yes, I'm very tense and exhausted, which is a terrible combination. And you know, one of the things that's not helping is I can't get my breakfast hot dogs anymore. Manny, he's not, I don't know what happened, but his cart is gone from that street corner. I think we actually might have run him. I think the word got out from our pod, from our episode, I think. Do you think? No, I don't know what happened, but his cart is gone from that street corner. I think we actually might have run him.

I think the word got out from our pod, from our episode, I think. Do you think? No, I guess that, has that episode even come out yet? No, it hasn't. Yes, it has. I don't think it has. No, it has by this time. Oh, yes, it has. We're just one away from the end.

So, yes. That makes me sad. And it is sad, isn't it? So, maybe he just wasn't able to keep, yes, it is sad. I don't want to talk about it. I mean, I thought we spoke very highly of the, he invented That makes me sad. And it is sad, isn't it? So maybe he just wasn't able to keep... Yes, it is sad. I don't want to talk about it. I mean, I thought we spoke very highly of the... He invented the breakfast hot dog?

No, what I'm saying is maybe he got rushed and he just couldn't keep up with the demand for the breakfast hot dog. Oh, I see. I see. Because lunch began at 6.16 a.m. Yes. And he would close down promptly at 7.

So maybe it was just me. I don't know. I wish he'd reconsider his hours, especially for hot dogs. I remember one time he said I was his only customer. I took that to mean I was his best customer. Well, sure.

Of course you would. And I'm sure that you also were, regardless of whether you were the only one or one of several. Thank you, Joan. I needed that today. I know, Bert. We're trying to... Hey, babe. Doug, I don't know what room he's recording in today, but we've had... Doug, our engineer

who is married to Joan. That's right. My very tall, very smart, wise husband. Very small. Very tall. Very strong. Very tall.

Very strong. There are a couple rooms that I think might be very relaxing for you. We have... I'm in the mausoleum today. Oh, God. I think might be very relaxing for you. We have, we have, I'm in the mausoleum today. Okay. Welcome to relax.

I had, well, it was like an episode of the monsters. I hesitate to ask, but is, is, is the mausoleum currently occupied by anyone else? Or is this a,

is this a, an aspirational mausoleum? No, my dear old parents are in there. Yes, right. Where were they? And now how, was the mausoleum an original part of the house? Or is this a new addition?

Here's the thing. We have this random part of the house with a very high ceiling. Okay. And I made a comment one day. I said, you know how in Europe or basically any other place, you know, you've got these, all I could think of was, you know how in Europe or basically any other place, you've got these, all I could think of was the Sistine Chapel. All I could think of was these murals, these beautiful things that are painted on the

ceiling. And I thought, oh, that would be such a fun project to paint something beautiful on a bunch of cherubs. And so that's how it started. And then Doug brought up, well, he would like a way. Oh, now we're going to get to how it's going.

Oh, are you talking about that fun meme that's going? I'm talking about the memes, yes. Well, I'll tell you how it, you know, how does it start? How it is? How it started? How it started. How it started, you'd see us sort of putting up the plaster and bringing in marble columns and doing all that.

And then how it's going would just be a picture of a bunch of the bottoms of the little naked cherubs because Doug started at the bottom. They didn't start with their faces. And then he just gave it up. He stopped. So it's a bunch of little, literally half-naked babies, like half-babies.

So just like the lower extremities of an angelic baby. So you can't even tell it's a cherub because there's no wings. That's true. I guess that's true. But I don't know why he stopped, probably because we had to do several other rooms. Too sad.

Okay, but then... Too sad? Why was he so sad? Well, he didn't want to do cherubs. I think this is why. He bailed on the project because he wanted to paint something else. Right.

Well, Doug, may I ask, what was so sad about the cherubs, painting the cherubs? Well, they're just so... Oh, was so sad about the cherubs, painting the cherubs? Well, they're just so precious. He is. He gets worked up. Yeah. Well, it's just like once you're finished, it's

over. You know, you just want to be making that cherub forever. It's kind of how I feel about this podcast. I don't want to finish the cherub. I want to keep going. Should we just stop right now? No. Because it's too bittersweet?

Oh, I don't know about that. I'd still rather go on and experience the pain. Joan, I agree with you. I think you're right. And Doug, I mean, do you have any plans to return to these cherubs and finish them? No, none at all. I like how it is. I like the bottom of the cherubs.

What's crazy is we have... Oh, go on, babe. Sorry. Oh, sure. It makes me feel... Uh-oh. Did you not want to go on? Now I feel like I'm making you go on. Were you hoping that you would be interrupted and you would not think of more things to say?

I work with two very different people here. One I think is like, phew, when I interrupt him. And then the other one gets a little just pickly as a pellet about it today. I love being interrupted. I think that we work well that way. Is this your kink? Definitely. You can say that.

Oh, I don't want to get into it a little too much. But what's interesting about the fact we have this huge room with high ceilings and marble columns and floors is there's zero echo in there today. None. That's a good point, Joan. I'm very impressed. You would expect that room would be just completely echoing all over the place.

I mean, there was more in the linen closet from the other week. This is ridiculous. I've put egg cartons all over the walls. Egg cartons. He's put actual egg cartons. Right. And let's remember that it is a mausoleum. So what we're looking at here is soundproofed sort of Greek amphitheater with half the lower halves of babies painted on the ceiling and your dead parents somewhere in the vicinity. Old Flipper.

What is that? Oh, that's my father. You called him Old Flipper? Flip. Yeah, Flip Corn. Flip Corn. He was known for flipping corn and how he did it. Oh, I assumed it was his last name.

Joan, is that what you thought? Well, yes, it is what last name. Joan, is that what you thought? Well, yes, it is what I thought because he did flip corn great. I thought, it's how I choose to remember him. Would you say he flipped corn the best of anyone you'd seen flip corn? Oh, yes. You wouldn't have to get it from your seat. You'd say more corn, he'd flip it right over to you.

It was incredible. Flipper flipped corn better than anyone flipped corn but he got into that line of this I couldn't get to it fast enough of course I do care I'm very invested in this so your father Flip what was his given name Flipper

his actual birth certificate name was Flipper Corn his friends called him Flip I think his, his actual birth certificate name was flipper corn. Yeah. And he, his friend, his friends called him flip.

Okay. You know, for sure. For sure. As a nickname. Yeah. Uh, and how would he flip this corn? Is it like the people that flip the quarters?

It's like their elbow. And then they grab them real quick. Have you ever watched Tik TOK? A few times. Yeah. There's a popular thing. Like it was a movie from a long time ago. And like we didn't have an episode recently where we watched 80 TikToks.

Did you ever watch TikTok? Charles Grodd was so good in it. There's a popular thing with water bottles where you flip it and you want the water bottle to land perfectly on its end. Yes. He could do that with corn from about 20 yards away. It would land on its end. We're talking a cob, I assume. Yeah, not creamed.

Okay. I don't think anyone was thinking creamed. You were thinking just kernels or pop? No. What other kind of I don't think anyone was thinking creamed. You're thinking just kernels or pop? No, I just. Oh, boy. Okay. What other kind of corn is there?

I mean, do we need to get into it? So many different kinds. I don't think people want to hear a corn list. Probably. Candy? I mean, you could flip candy corn and land it on its end. That would be a stupendous achievement. That's true.

I wonder what would happen if you tried to pop candy corn. I think it would melt, right? I think it would melt, honey. I guess I wanted something else to happen. Well, now I feel stupid. What did you want it to be? A candy popped corn. Yeah, I wanted them to jump.

Well, they should make candy corn. They should also make candy corn kernels. Because first of all, those don't look like corn at all candy popped corn. I wanted them to jump. They should also make candy corn kernels because first of all, those don't look like corn at all. Very small. I agree. Well, sure. Well, that's that. So, okay. I think the bottom line is we're not going to have you.

I would like candy corn as big as a corn cob. Oh, that sounds like a stomachache and a half. That's way too much. Candy corn as big as a corn cob. Oh, no. Make me want to throw up. I mean, Doug really loves candy. Yeah, I feel like I could eat candy, like five max, I think. Okay, Bert, let me ask this then.

Is there, since we can't have people lay their hands on you and apply deep tissue massage, since our mausoleum isn't going to work. I am not religious, but I am spiritual. That's right. Talk about laying hands. Is there a comfort food? Is there something that you put in your body that makes you feel better? Do you have a warm soup?

Do you have something your mom used to make you on a stay-at-home sick day? Could I bring something like that over? Oh boy, I remember when I was a kid and I was sick, I would, of course, watch The Price is Right on the couch. Oh, me too. Yes, and I, oh, I dreamed, I just dreamed of being a person with that big gigantic ticket name tag

and running up there and meeting Bob Barker and spaying and neutering a pet., you know, spinning that wheel, listening, listening to the sound of the Matterhorn. Oh, that was the best one. Yes. That yodel. Was that Plinko? No, that was different.

Oh, no. Plinko was different. That was, I, what was it called? A mountain. He would climb up the mountain. I thought it was called the Matterhorn, but maybe that's the Disney attraction. Well, it could be both. That's true.

So then you'd watch Price is Right, and then what would she, would she buy you something? I mean, would she make you something? She would buy it and then make it. My mother would go to the grocery store. She would buy groceries as supplies. Of course. These are the ingredients. And then what she would make was she would make like, I would toast that was burnt black,

just black as night. But cut out in a circle, right? In the shape of a circle. Cut out in a circle because I kind of eat square food. Correct. And then she would put like the crunchiest peanut butter. I mean, just a real, just a real gum ripper. And she would put like the crunchiest peanut butter. I mean, just a real gum ripper. And she would put that on there.

And then she would give me just a little drop of whiskey. Oh, this is the most intense snack I've ever heard of for a child or any human, to be perfectly honest. So comforting when I think about it. And this was comforting. Oh, I love it. Just the mix of dry, burnt toast. Oh, just that you could taste the coal.

You could taste the coal of the burnt toast. And then that impossible to eat peanut butter. Were there just peanuts? With a chaser of whiskey. It was the sharpest peanut shards you could imagine. Like the shell? And it became a game. Like big chunks. Not with the shells.

Are you familiar with crunchy peanut butter? He only likes smooth. I wish I could eat smooth. Extra smooth for me. What if you tried doing that? Did you have a beverage with this? Did you just eat it dry?

Well, I would eat it dry, and then she would give me the little cup of whiskey. Oh, the whiskey was the chaser. Wonderful. Okay. And she would toast me. We would have a little. Oh, it's happy and it's sad. It just depends on how you look at it.

Oh, boy. And then we would guess, you know, the showcase showdown. Well, I'm glad it's such a lovely memory for you. Babe, what's going on? Is that, Doug, is that, what is that noise? I believe he found the music from the game. Does this bring you back? It does.

It really brings me back. Can you taste the coal? I can taste the coal. I can feel those peanut shards slicing my upper palate. Now, Joan, could you yodel this if you had to? Have you ever yodeled? Oh, well, I only did a little yodeling From here to there

Oh there they are Wouldn't it be amazing if on The Price is Right They made you sit through the preamble Oh, there they are. Well, I was kind of... Wouldn't it be amazing if on The Price is Right, they made you sit through the preamble before they got to the yodeling? I forgot about that long intro. You could not play the game until the vocals came in. It's amazing.

That was a longer song. It's a proper song. It's a proper song. Yes, I did try to get into yodeling for a show that I had to do here. And then it ended up not working out. But I did. I did take a I took a quick workshop.

But, well, it was, you know, it was this weird. It was one of those local playwrights. And he had done this sort of his name was Gibson, I believe. Josh Gibson? Yes, Josh Gibson. Oh. uh and he had done this sort of uh his name was uh gibson i believe josh gibson yes josh gibson and he was very avant-garde yes and was into all sorts of weird you know and he had this strange sort of idea of one he wanted to be like the next shakespeare right so he he would write i know and he was right but he tried to kind of write like shakespeare sounded uh and so like he to. But they all basically just they were all the same. You know, it's like he rewrote Hamlet. It's like he thought it needed to be rewritten or something, you know. But he would write it in the style of Shakespeare. He would write it in the style. I'm not saying that he was Hamlet. I'm just saying it was very close to it. Right. It'd be like a sweet. It'd be like a Swiss prince who was very dark and brooding. It was basically like he said. This doesn't make it any less insane.

No, not at all. I mean, it's like he said Hamlet in Switzerland, right? So he thought there would be this yodeling and it would be him, you know, in the, he just thought that it would be that. It would be, so it was very stereotypical. It was a lot of, everyone was in long blonde braids and I played Gertrude, but it wasn't Gertrude.

You know, her name was, her name was Giselle, I think. Yeah, it was Giselle. And I, he, he and I,

we butted heads. We butted heads. We just disagreed with all sorts of things. We disagreed with my wardrobe. We disagreed with the, the furniture that I had to sit on. And, and I couldn't say his lines.

Now, may I say the wardrobe, I sort of understand because that's an actor. You have a, you have a personal investment in the character, what they look like. But the furniture intrigues me. What were the furniture disagreements? I thought it made me look fat.

Okay. It was tiny furniture. Again, he was very avant-garde. So, I mean, he literally had, you know, like a kindergarten chair. You know, when you go and visit kids. I don't, well, you know what I mean. I've seen it in films. Kindergarten cop.

Kindergarten cop. It's not a tumor. Yes. And so when I had to do that with the kids, I hated going and sitting on those chairs for a second because it just make you it's, you know, they make you uncomfortable. And so he thought it'd be amazing if it sort of, we're all in the mountains, right? And that we're just these monstrous beasts all sort of destroying each other. So it's as if we're giants. We made all the furniture very tiny, very tiny.

And I broke like five chairs because I was sitting on these tiny wooden, he made them all himself, you know? So we fought about that. And I couldn't get my words around the dialogue, as they say. I found it very tricky. It was very flowery. Do you remember any of the dialogue? Oh, do I ever? Because this is what it came down to. We were in a tech rehearsal and I was supposed to say, I crave an audience with thee, my Lord. And he made up this thing where instead of Lord,

it was Lord. It was insane. Did he change other words or just that one? It was, it was, it was, there was no logic to it. Every once in a while, just in one sentence, there would be the absence of a D and he just put TH anywhere, you know? So we'd say, come, come closer, right? Which is stupid because then it sounds like you have a lisp. Right. I was supposed to say.

Like normally you say come closer. Correct. So I would say I crave an audience with thee my Lord. And I could not do it. And we, oh, I mean, he, and he was just yelling, Lord, Lord, Lord in my face. And it was spitting all over. And I said, it's Lord. Why wouldn't you say Lord?

And then he went into this whole entire thing. He had it all worked out in his head. And and I and he fired me after the opening night because I was so worked up in my head about that line that you made it opening night. I made it to opening night. He wanted he wanted to fire me that night. And I said, it's community theory. You can't fire me. You can't fire me.

I'm going to what are you going to do? Someone else is going to come in and learn all these, all these lives. So I showed up for opening night and I went to say that line and I didn't even get to Lorth because I was so worked up in my head. I crave an audience with V My Lorth. I said, I crane an audience. Oh no. I know.

And he was so mad. He stood up in the middle of the production. And Mitch McNutt, who was writing for the town, Cryer Flyer, was reviewing it. Oh, but he's the worst. He's so critical. He went to London one time. He's trying to go viral. Exactly. He went to London one time and he knows all about theater every review is just it's just it's so catty oh it's so catty and it's and uh and so he he you know he's the kind of person that describes of you know my my my performance as passable oh it's just the worst how do you feel about serviceable when somebody says that that's terrible too oh oh that's awful how about rounds out the cast when you see that? How does that make you feel? How do you know so many of these burnt?

Well, I mean, I would read his reviews in the fire. Sure, sure. He stood up and he walked out. It was a very tiny, it was a 10 seat theater. What can i ask so this is not the usual theater that they do the shows in or did they wasn't that no no 10 10 seats yeah 10 and we that's all justification for that that's all that josh wanted you know he wanted it to be intimate and he wanted the audience to feel small. So he made them small, quite literally with their number. Remember the tiny furniture? Were the theater seats oversized? Yes. I'm starting to like this. I'm sorry,

Joan. Yeah. Well, I don't and I didn't care for it. And honestly, we've already gone on too long and I don't want to talk about it anymore, but it was one of the professional lows of my career. I'll say this about Josh. He made a killer gypsum martini. He loved doing that, and he loved making you think that his family was somehow responsible for the gypsum martini. Oh, absolutely. And then somebody would say,

isn't it Gibson? And he would say, is it Jif? Well, we should take a break. I do hate that Josh Jipson. I hate to speak ill of people, but he comes into the pharmacy sometimes. He wears two scarves, and he has one just so he can flip over his shoulder.

Yes. Oh, God. He is the worst. I'm sorry. I don't care if he hates us. We hate him. I literally have hate. Josh, if you're listening, we hate you.

Okay, that's a first. We've never done that on the show before. Today is real saucy. It's a real, I'm feeling pickly as a pellet. Hey, there you go. It rolls off the tongue. All right, and we will get three more expressions from you before the episode is over.

And we will take a break. When we return, we will have a guest right here on The Neighborhood Listen. On The Neighborhood Listen. Hi, guys. It's Evelyn. Hey. I'm so sorry for the confusion.

So the post now is sorry not free. I know that below it said $5 that it was crossed off, then it said free. The post is now sorry not free for mealworms food for pets parentheses reptiles birds fish bait fish turtles birds the container on the scale is 500 worms so just check the prices like 250 for 105 dollars for 300 i did the math you guys okay um i don't know it's just like this is one of those this is just one of those impulse buys. You know what I mean?

Like, it's classic me where it's like I had a hard day and I had a couple glasses of wine and I woke up and I was like, oh my god, I totally forgot I bought all those mealworms. Like, I don't need that many. You know? So, anyways, it's totally on brand for me but i gotta get rid of them and like i said twice in the parentheses they can be used for birds uh and i really need this tupperware dish that they're in in this picture so please come and get them and welcome once back. Oh, see, it's like crane.

It just sometimes happens. It is like crane. What is that again? That's how I messed up my line. I don't want to talk about it. Instead of crave. That's right. Yes.

Hopefully the listeners, they'll have remembered. It just happened. What a thing I'm having. All right. We do have a guest, as we always do. What we do is on the Neighborhood Listen, we go to the NeighborHap, which is a social networking application for the neighborhood of Dignity Falls. And we will comb through, look for interesting posts and interesting people, and then we will invite one of those people onto the show. And this week is no different. This person, very interesting indeed. Yes. I'm excited to find. And this week is no different. This person, very interesting indeed.

Yes. I'm excited to find out what this post is all about. This person is named Louise and Louise writes, subject line, join me for a neighborhood walk, forward slash, forward slash. The body of the message is, through Saturday, let's gather today going out in your neighborhood. Long ellipses. The gather

folks are all in there, comma, approaching with the jewelry being taken by a misunderstand. It's almost like a haiku. I'm very excited. It's intriguing. It's intriguing. So many questions. Please welcome to the neighborhood, listen, Louise. Louise, thank you for

being here. Hi, Louise. Hi. Hi. How are you guys? How are you doing? to the Network List, Louise. Louise, thank you for being here. Hi, Louise. Hi. Hi. How are you guys? How are you doing? We're doing well, Louise. We're good. That's good. That's good.

Because people together should be the happiest can be. Oh, okay. Already some questions are answered. Already some questions are getting answered for me. Louise, can you... I want to give you another chance to tell us about what exactly you wanted to get across with this post.

So, I heard you read the post and you were a little wrong on some, so Thursday. Okay, good. Oh, that was Thursday Thursday

everybody has you can compress words but they still mean so I said Thursday Saturday but today was Friday when I posted so you could we could gather today And I was just going around, meeting people, like I was selling jewelry. Okay, so let's just stop because I feel like we have to go in sections. So we've established Thursday through – Thursday. I'm making a diagram here. I wanted to know this too.

It was Thursday through Saturday? Thursday, Saturday You don't have to say Friday if you say that Because everybody knows That Friday's in the middle Sure Okay, so Thursday through Saturday Let's gather today

Although that is a little confusing Because I feel like you give them three options But then you say now it's happening today Well, it's because I post on Friday. Yeah. Well, that's first. But I wanted them to know that they could have yesterday come out for a gathering. Retroactively. You do have to,

but also for Saturday, because it does, you can look at the date. If somebody says today on the app, you can look at the date and say, oh, they mean this specific day. I'm reading it late. Right. Right. So then going out of the neighborhood fine uh fine the well because i mean i i'm trying to sort of find the things that we don't need to sort of take apart here so yeah okay the gather folks are all in there i do feel like there's a word missing they're all in there what well i also

want to know who are the gather folks because this sounds like almost like a Tolkienian sort of... You guys don't gather. You gather folks. What do you call... Look, I fixed my fan, my ceiling

fan. Oh. I had no electrician. That's impressive. That is impressive it didn't it hurt and I got zapped and now so I don't I got it's hard zap

hard zap and so now I have no lights no fan and also it's hot in my house. Of course. But the gather folks. So when you get people together, what do you say?

I suppose I could say gather. Sure. Yeah, yeah. Gather folks. So I gathered folks. You can gather folks. Yeah i i guess it was the it was the the article in front it was the the the gather folks oh right that made it seem like a race of ancient people and for me it's more about what they are gathered what are their

what are they all in they're all so we each have our own problems we do okay so when i'm when I'm, when I'm sentencing, I, I will use the words that I know from, from class or, or books. And I don't know, you, maybe you were, your words, your words are different because you don't, you guys haven't, maybe you get different words that I don't have access to privilege, but I use the words that I know. So I use the, maybe you use fancy French word. I don't know. Where did you, where'd you grow up? Are you from here? Are you from Dignity Falls, Louise? Dignity Falls.

Before we get into the background, I just want people who are listening to have some patience because obviously Louise has been electrocuted. What? Big zap. Okay, big zap. Louise big zapped. I think you had one in burn. 45 minutes. Oh.

Because your hands, when you zap, they lock. Oh my. Yes, you complete a circuit. Exactly. So you can't change. They just stick. Yes. hands, when you zap, they lock. You complete a circuit, exactly. So you can't change. They just stick. I zapped until it ran out.

Ran out? Until it ran out. Oh, wait. We did have a bit. We had a power outage. When did you do this, Louise? Well, I can't ask her. She might not remember, to be honest. I bet she remembers. It's been...

Okay. So what? Today is Sunday? This is what I meant. Yes. Today is Sunday. Friday? It's Friday. So this was four

four of them. Four of them. Four days ago. Yep, that's when we had a power outage. Louise, I very much wish you had gone to get... We're not even going to break down the rest of the sentence because I think Bert has hit on it. And then obviously you confirmed it

with your 45 minute to cool off. You were full of electricity and you jumped in the pool. Cool down. Louise, do you live alone? Do you live alone? Now I do. What happened Louise?

Up until four ago I had two dogs. Oh, no. They ran from the noise and the light of what happened to me. No, no. That's very... The flyers. You've seen flyers. The two dogs.

Oh, those are your dogs. Yes. I have seen those flyers. The two dogs? Oh, those are your dogs. Yes. I have seen those flyers. Yeah, they were so scared through the window just right through the glass. Yeah, it's interesting because the pictures posted were of them running through the window.

I don't know how you managed to get those pictures, but that's, it's the last, you said this is the last I saw of them and it was them running out the window. I have ring the ring in my house so with the um when when I was zapped the cameras never stopped so I can see what happened to me and the dog so this was I wanted for the most reason, footage for those dogs. So that's why it's that on the flyer. It does make it a little harder to identify them.

As it's a little blurry, they are flying through a glass window. Yes. Right. But you believe it. No, I believe it. That's not the problem. That's not the issue. The issue is seeing their faces.

We know what they look like from behind and when they're fleeing in terror yes yes like don't know what they look like when they're at peace and happy and just smiling dogs i assume they're still running so i want you to know what they look like from that oh fair point from behind i see what you're saying unless they're running towards us in which case we'd have no idea yes unlikely but yes you're right i'll correct it i have white out i'll white out that's all that's okay that's okay i don't think that paint no their faces on the huh so so so so you're you're just alone in the house you you seem to be now yeah and and you have had this this terrible experience is there any there's so

there's no one there to help you or is there anyone you can turn to no that's why i gather folks so that's why you gather folks so we can go i have jewelry right okay i would like to know how the jewelry fits into this yes i'm not sure if it matters i can't wear jewelry anymore because my skin is too hot. Oh, are you finding that your magnetic things are sticking to you? Something, yes. Yeah. Sporks.

Do you remember that show called Amazing Stories? It was not with Steven Spielberg. It was Steven Spielberg's and they told these fun little cute stories. Yeah, little science fiction stories. There was a guy who had an experience, I think, with... Are you okay? Are you okay, Louise? Yeah, no, my ears are...

And we're gathering the story together. Okay. So I think he got struck by a lightning. Anyways, he found that everything magnetic stuck to him. It was kind of a fun, spooky, crazy episode. And I feel like that's kind of what you're, you have had an incredible experience. It's amazing. I mean, that you have lived through this. I certainly want you to go to a hospital and get checked out. But what I think what's more important is if you didn't do that immediately after, is it possible that you have had other incidents before?

Do you like to fix things on your own a lot? Have you found that you've had other accidents? So first I want to address, I would go hospital. I would go hospital. Okay. But statute of limitations has been too long. Oh, I don't think that's how that works. I don't think that applies to hospitals.

I don't know if that's the 45 minutes of exposure to electricity talking or if prior to that you actually also thought that. You can't. No, you can't. They'll arrest you. I don't believe that's true. Okay, well, so one time

I dug a hole and broke my ankle. And when I waited, because I waited Well, so one time, one time I dug a hole and broke my ankle. Yeah, here we go. And when I waited, cause I waited three week and then I went to hospital and they tried, they said, get out. And they tried to shoot at me. But they, I, so I escaped and I won't do that. I make mistakes again.

What did this hospital look like? I'm just curious. Okay. High fence. Tall fence. Watchtowers. So you can see where the emergencies are coming. Barbed wire.

Right. Very few windows to keep privacy. Right. Very few windows to keep privacy. And all of the hospitals, persons in orange. Okay. I, I. Maybe hard to climb that fence.

Right. That was probably the wrong hospital to go to. And I think that, that, that, that, that, that, you know, I could, I could tell you a hospital to go to where they won't do that to you. Okay. Next time. Next time I zapped. I don't want you to do that anymore. I don't want you to do that anymore. Next time I want you to call a handyman.

Next time I want you to ask for help. Okay. And I really want maybe... Gosh, how do we help her burnt well you can buy jewelry you can buy I'm selling jewelry I'm selling forks spoons right anything that

might that's sticking to you I imagine right now also a fruit sticks to me fruit sticks to you yes what kind of fruit is sticking to you the kind that's attracted by electricity. I don't know what that would be.

I can't. Yeah, I'm not drawing a blank. I hope it's not a prickly pear. If you want to see, you can put a fork in the place where you're not supposed to put it. What is that called? In the plug house?

Yes, put it in the plug house. And then you touch the fruit with your other hand. And the ones that stick are the ones you shouldn't. I can't. So blueberries, dried apricot. I don't like honeydew. So I have not. I don't know. But if I went to the grocery store, I could maybe see if a honeydew would stick. Well, don't like honeydew, so I have not. I don't know, but if I went to the grocery store,

I could maybe see if a honeydew would stick. Well, don't do that. I don't think that's necessary. No, no. How are you? Oh, well, that's nice. I mean, Louise, where are you? You're from here in Dignity Falls?

Yes. Born and raised. Born and raised. 100 days. Is that a saying in your home? It's a saying in all homes. Born and raised 100 days. Is that a saying in your home? It's a saying in all homes. Born and raised 100 days. I wonder what that means.

What does that mean exactly? Well, you cannot count that you were born and raised unless you've lived 100 days since you were born, then you can move. So you're born and raised 100 days, then you can go somewhere else. So, for example, you visit New York City and you can, if you've been there, but you were from Dignity Falls and you've been at Dignity Falls 100 days, then you're not from New York City.

Okay. Okay. This is actually starting to make sense to me. That if you've lived in a place for 100 days, that is where you're from. Great, because I was worried that we were being taken by a misunderstand. No. No, right.

And that, right, because that's the last thing that you say. And it's such an aggressive sentence, isn't it? It sounds like something bad happening to someone. They're being taken by the misunderstand. Well, if you're, okay. So when you're taken by a misunderstand, it's not nice. It's not good feeling.

So, you know, it feels, I've been taken by a misunderstand. I think we all have, sure. I'll be honest, Bert. I was really hoping that a lot of this was just a big typo, you know, and that this was going to be very easily explained. But now I find myself

worried about Louise and I want her to... No, you're okay? We're fine. Gathering folks every night through Saturday. So you are seeing people, people, your neighbors, you guys are walking together. You are not alone.

No, no. So I can invite for you guys if you want, because we're approaching with the jewelry. I appreciate that, but how many people are you seeing a day? 150, at least. many people are you seeing a day? 150. At least. Born and raised 150 friends. You want me to name?

Thursday through Saturday, you're seeing 150 people a day. Yes. How many people do you see per day? Burt probably sees a lot of people. I work behind a counter. I do see a lot of people. I don't know if I see 150 a day. Coming and going to the counter, you see people.

Coming and going to the house, you see people. There's people on my television. It's dark. But on most televisions, there's people. I never thought to count people on TV. 150 people per day. What about if you imagine people, that's even more.

Oh, how do you do that? Oh, boy. Louise, you know what? Here's the thing, Joan, is that I am concerned about Louise, but I feel like I'm starting to understand her in a way. Do you know what I mean? Yes. I feel like I'm getting used to the rhythms

of her language and uh and and and sort of it's like uh uh you know like uh diane fossey or something um jane goodall um so louise goodall how many times smart so smart how many times for you big zapped how many times for me big zapped you did it it's a good question good question thank you uh what's what what's your counting for big zap my personal counting for zap for well for example let's okay so big big zapped when the refrigerator fell into the pool. Oh, why would it even be near there? How refrigerator by pool? The drink's cold.

What? How big refrigerator? It keeps the drinks cold. Normal. Normal size refrigerator. Not small. Pool. Pool.

Kiddie sized. Oh, so it's just one of those inflatable. Yeah, there's just a little tub that you fill up with hose water. So it was that? Yes, yes, hose water. So hose water, kiddie pool, the refrigerator on the lawn to keep drinks cold for my party. on the lawn to keep drinks cold for my party. And I was swimming,

door opening, refrigerator in the pool, big zap. So you reach up from pool. Yes. Pull open fridge, but down go fridge. Down the fridge, falling like a hammer at a carnival. So you... That's one. Okay. Oh, boy. I feel like there's going to be a lot. I don't know if I can

make it through all of these. I get so worried listening to them. How many times you've Big Zap? Zero. None. No Zap. Three for you, Doug. What are you talking about? Big Zap three times. Big Zap. Okay. Almost zap. Okay.

Wait. Why is everyone so- I'm so proud of it. How many- How about all big zap? Share big zap. I don't know what's happening. Share it.

Play bass guitar, plug straight in wall. Big zap. Big zap. Big zap. Because you're not supposed to plug the instrument directly into the wall. Not into the wall. Big zap. Big zap. Big zap. Because you're not supposed to plug the instrument directly into the wall. Not into the wall. I didn't even know you could do that. I know. Lesson learned.

Won't do that again. When else? Climb, telephone pole, fetch, ball, big zap on top. Oh, that was for the kids. I didn't know that it was that bad though, babe. Did you grab onto the wire? The kids managed, somehow the twins,

my twins, Louise, I have two twins, Matt. She has two twins, Matt and Jerron. That's right. Do they ever become three? Well, they did try to clone each other one time. Oh.

Shouldn't be surprised. Be careful. Yeah, be careful is right. You can't split two souls into three body. That's chilling. I mean, you can't and you shouldn't try. It really is. You end up with uneven soles.

Oh, that's so deep. That's sort of beautiful and sad, Louise. So what happened is Geron had, they were playing, you know, kickball, whatever, and they managed to somehow get the ball up. It was just perfectly balanced on the telephone wire. I don't know how it happened. They were losing their minds about it.

They didn't want Doug to fix it because they thought it was some crazy otherworldly thing and he climbed up there and I just didn't know that it was such a big zap, babe. I didn't know. I mean... I fell all the way to the ground. Right, I was... I thought you just lost your footing.

I didn't know that it was because you got electrocuted. Oh, yeah. And the third zap was... I didn't know that it was because you got electrocuted. Oh, yeah. And the third zap was. It didn't come up when you. The third zap. Even though Joan saw you fall from the top of the telephone pole. She assumed you just lost your footing.

You never revealed to her, oh, I was electrocuted. No, he didn't. And he really didn't say anything that night. I went up again to get the ball again and the third zap and fell again. He still didn't notice. With all the commotion, the ball still didn't get dislodged.

It could not get that damn ball out there. Is it still up there? It is. To this day. Easier for the second zap in the same location though. Yeah? Yeah, I was used to it by then. I almost craved it. Yeah, yeah.

Same. Oh, no. Wait, is this part of the problem? Wait, are we getting down to it? I think we are. Louise, you're saying you begin to crave big zap. Yeah, yeah. So it's like when you put gummy bears on a waffle for the first time,

you're hungry for it forever. Same way. Doug is nodding again. I didn't know you liked gummy bears on a waffle. You first time. You're hungry for it forever. Same, in the same way. Doug is nodding again. I didn't know you liked gummy bears on a waffle. You can hear me nod. Sorry, I keep hitting him. So, yeah, you could, it's, it's. I have a ring camera.

I have a ring camera in every room. You know that, babe. In the mausoleum? Yes, every single room. I have to keep an eye on everybody. Oh, for ghosts. Yes, that, babe. In the mausoleum? Yeah, every single room. I have to keep an eye on everybody. Oh, for ghosts. Yes, ghosts. No such thing. But if your parents do become ghouls, you've got to get out of that house.

So wait, so you begin to crave at this start. This is making more sense. Well, I mean, it's not making any sense. But in trying to understand you, I'm seeing now it's an addiction, perhaps? Oh, well, that's hard word.

Hard word. Okay, sorry. I shouldn't have thrown that out there. Sorry about that. But if you like something enough to do it as many as possible, then I feel maybe

it's on target. Maybe it's on target. Big Zap made me quit smoking. Maybe it's on target. Big Zap made me quit smoking. Big Zap made me quit drinking. Dabbled in Oxy. Big Zap

cuts it out. There's like a vault you have to fill. And Big Zap fills it every time. A vault, not a hole. Vault. No, it's a very specific choice of words.

It's a little better than a hole if you had to fill a hole. I guess so. But this is good news for the opioid crisis that Big Zap cuts it off. But I'm not sure that it doesn't leave you with other problems that might be just as bad. I mean, if one Big Zap does it, is it so bad? Oh, Bert, you're really, especially coming from a pharmacist, I'm very surprised. Well, there is such a thing as electroshock therapy. That's still a practice.

They've refined it. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Never mind. Never mind, Louise. It's not a thing. No, it's just something no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Never mind. Never mind, Louise. It's not a thing. No, it's just something that's being talked about, but it doesn't. It's not a thing yet. Oh, it sounds.

I want it. It's a fiction scientific. Okay. Someday. Someday truth. I feel like you guys are better doing the language than I am is it more of a Yoda thing or is it more of just skipping

I'm afraid to try I feel like I'll mess it up it's sort of like a Yoda and Tarzan combination so Louise if you had to put a number on it big zapped how many times again what counts If you had to put a number on it, Big Zapped, how many times? Again, what counts?

Big, Big Zapped. On hands, I can count 10. So many Big Zaps. On hands, but... What does that mean, on hands? Like, what else would you count with? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. No, I know. On hands I can count tens.

I understand. I just didn't know if she meant something else by that because, you know, she has a different perspective on things. I thought maybe it might mean something deeper. Six and a half hands. Oh, so 65. Oh, is that a future science fictions number?

It is a real number from now. Cold hard math. Fancy numbers. I wonder if I wonder actually if electroshock therapy would help Louise. Rather than her sticking things in sockets and so forth, if it was controlled

by a doctor who could help, maybe it would restore her back to normal. I don't know. I feel, oh! Oh! Louise, did you do it again? It's Little Zapped. Little Zapped. Oh! Was both of you at the same time? You both Little Zapped. What, it was both of you at the same time? You both Little Zapped.

What were you using? It was a mosquito racket. That's what I use. Babe, what are you talking about? Wait, Doug, you're giving yourself Little Zaps on purpose? Just quick hits, just Little Zaps. There's a very troubling trend happening with our hosts that it turns out that Doug just seems to have the habits of a lot of the people that come on this show now.

And I learn a lot of secrets and I'm not prepared for them. And this one has really thrown me for a loop. I got it. I got to tell you, I am. Doug, you strip wires in the house, strip them, and then you get surprise zap. Oh, no. Oh, this is... Toe zap? No. Toe zap? Hold on.

Finger zap. I gotta tell you... Television zap. Little bit, little, little zap. You wanted one of these, but right now I'm getting turned toothpick over toothpaste here, and I don't know which end is up. And what does that expression mean? I love that one.

So it was when I was trying to get, Matt had a, a poppy seed that was just driving him crazy. He was in this whole, you know how that whole thing when, I mean, speaking of habits, right.

When, when it was supposed to be that a poppy seed, you know, was sort of, would make you test positive for some sort of, what was it, babe? Heroin. Heroin. Right. So then they got stupid and were like, let's eat all the poppy seed bagels and see if it does something to us.

And they ate so many poppy seeds. Oh, they thought it would have a drug-like effect? Correct. So they just binged on poppy seed bagels. You know, it's not like they even thought to scrape the poppy seeds off. They ate the bagels too. So they were, well, these are the twins. You can't apply logic to them. So, so it's, uh, and so they just, Matt was just all his teeth were just all black, just covered in poppy seeds and they were all stuck up in there. And so now I had the task of trying to get them out of there.

And I was trying to use a toothpick and I was doing this weird sort of back and forth dance where I was trying to use a toothpick and then rubbing the toothpaste on and trying to use a toothpick and rubbing the toothpaste on. And one time I tried to,

I grabbed the wrong thing, right? I forgot the order that I was in. And so instead of brushing with the toothpaste, I brushed with the toothpick. I ran the toothpick back and forth over his teeth. Yeah, exactly. I was like, ow! And I said, I'm sorry.

I'm just toothpaste over toothpick here. And he didn't find it funny or interesting. In fact, I tried to tell the rest of the house and they were like, he's not okay. Go fix him. And so we did. And we did. We did a salt wash.

We did a saltwater wash. We did a gargle. And he was fine. I took him to the dentist. The dentist sucked, you know, the air suction. He sucked out all the poppy seeds with that air suction thing, which I wish I thought of that myself. That's a great idea. And they never ate poppy seeds again

because it was just not worth it. So anytime, anytime, let me just be clear. Anytime you go to use one tool in the house and use the wrong tool, you call it toothpaste over toothpick. No, that makes sense.

So, you know, you go for a spatula and you grab the scissors instead and then you cut your pancake in half. Your toothpaste over toothpick. Yes. Constantly. Constantly.

Oh, you do that? Scissors over spatula. Constantly. Constantly. Oh, you do that? Scissors over spatula. Constantly. Two hardest tools to tell apart. Scissors and spatula. Look similar. Heavy

in the same way. Spatula scissors. Cutting your pancake. It's rough. I mean, it sounds rough. I haven't had this experience nor have i ever heard of it before louise um uh if i were to give you the name of a doctor uh who could help you would you be interested in that what so i'm a doctor now no no no he's saying he's saying uh again i don't want to get it wrong, but help you someone come. I can't do it. I think that was pretty good.

I can't do it. Help, yeah. Help me someone come. Oh, great. See, I'm the doctor. No, no. Gather folks. I didn't do it right.

Someone else doctor. Someone else. Louise. Someone else doctor. Yes. If I gather doctor for you. Yeah. Oh, good one.

It's good to do. Yes. Yeah. Seven, eight doctors approach with jewelry in the neighborhood. Okay. I might do that. And I will tell them to bring jewelry. Speaking of jewelry, how are the jewelry sales going, Louise?

Oh, great! Great! Jewelry's cheap. Jewelry's... I can't... You can name price, because I can't wear. I can't hold. I have to keep in a

lead bag. A lead bag? Yes. A lead bag? Yes. A lead bag to put the jewelry. So you reach in, pull out, name a price. I have to say yes, though I cannot take orders. You don't have to. Why do you have to say yes?

What? It's like you're a character in a fairy tale. Right. You're not bound to it, are you? You have to say yes. Do you want to try? We can try. Let's try. Oh, to see if you can refuse. Oh, there's that lead bag. It sure

is. Wow. It's not what I pictured. Surprise. Here's earrings. Okay, those are two onion rings. Yep. A dollar. Yes.

Okay, now try. Okay. All right, how about let's do another one. That happened too fast. Okay. You want to haggle. Be careful. I'm doctor now.

What other jewelry you show? I feel like I wanted you to have chance to refuse I feel like you just went right to it Okay, okay, chance to refuse Here, more jewelry You go this time, Joan Okay, it's a stapler I'm trying to figure out where that goes on your body

But, um Cause I can't even really see. Oh! Did the stapler electrocute you? Is it an electric stapler? Leftover zaps. Free of charge. Leftover zaps?

What are leftover zaps? Like aftershocks? When I, so if I'm holding for a long time, then some zaps are stored. I made you hold it too long. Okay, here's the thing. I'm going to say $2 and I want you to try to say no, okay?

I'll give you $2 for it. Oh no, oh no. So she really physically couldn't do it. She couldn't say no. Yes. Oh, and there she gets the yes. I get the electric stapler for $2. All right.

Well, I guess we owe you $3, Louise. Do you have Venmo? Yes. Yes. Okay, good. So you're able to use a phone? No. Okay.

I know I trust that you're sending, but I can't until I get home. Someone else gathers, can deposit. Maybe after Dr. Look, phone returns. Yes. Yes. Would be nice. Miss calls lots for my mom. Oh, sure.

Oh, no. She must be worried sick. Mom, call her, please. Please, if you're listening, if you're Louisa's mom, please give Louisa a call. Oh, I was trying to talk like her, but actually, yes, mom, please call her, please. Please, if you're listening, if you're Louise's mom, please give Louise a call. Oh, I was trying to talk like her, but actually, yes. Mom, please call her. See, I keep doing it wrong. Tell Louise to call her mom.

I sure was. I think her mom should call her. Yes. I think mom should just show up at the house. I don't think the call is going to do any good. All right, well, Louise, we're certainly sorry for your troubles, and yet you do seem to be enjoying yourself, so I don't know what to say.

Dignity Falls, beautiful neighborhood. True. Oh, folks gathered, all nice. Jewelry's been approached, very, very receptive. Very few takens by misunderstand. Oh, good. That's actually my biggest hope for you, is that no more beans taken by misunderstand.

Yes. And I wish that for us all. No more be taken by misunderstand. Yes. Together, the future, we'll all be conversation, clear communication. Everyone, us, God bless. Yes. Well, thank you so much, Louise. We wish you the best of luck. And we will return with more Dignity Falls Neighborhood Listen after this. Hi, this is Tony. I love movies. Who else likes them?

That's the whole post. And welcome once again back. Oh. Wow. Burnt. Joan, can you do it? Was that weirder than talking to a squirrel? I don't know.

Oh, good question. I never thought I would ask that question. I mean, in a way, yes. I got very used to the squirrel. Immediately, right? Immediately we switched over. He's very charming and he put me at ease. I'm also not sure that really happened.

But I think that I'm so thrown off by talking to Louise that I think my ability to even get back into the show just spiraled, just tanked. Oh, no. And I thought we were getting you out of the vault, as Louise would say. No, I'm in that vault and it's filled with me. I think maybe it wasn't such a good idea you started talking like her. I think that it

sort of, you know, put you in a place. You were very good at it. I tried, but boy I was... No, you got the hang of it. Add it bad was I. I should probably just big zap myself. No! Oh, I see what's happening. Babe, can you please

tell... Actually, don't say anything, okay? You're going to tell him how to do it. So actually, babe, just don't say anything, okay? Listen. What is... We have a pipe organ in the mausoleum. Mausoleum music, sure. And he's playing it.

He's probably got a half a mask on down there. Oh, boy.. Oh boy. Boy, that's a great piece of music though. To comment on D minor. I mean, it is... Is that lifting your spirits? Let me tell you something. Bach owns Halloween.

Anybody else? That is right. Forget about it. Wagner, Mahler, any of these other. I think I was trying to say Wagner and Wagner at the same time. And it came out Wagner. Well, you know, Josh Gibson would have agreed with that pronunciation. Right? Probably. Yeah. And he'd say it should be.

Prick, I can't stand him. Oh, I hate him. I see you perk up a little, actually, when you get angry talking about him. Oh, I love my hate. I think anger is the way to drive you out of the ball. I really do. Really? Yes.

Oh, that seems unhealthy, doesn't it? There's a sparkle in your eyes. I know. I love hating him so much when I think about him. The picture of my hand around his throat. How about McNutt? Wait a minute.

How about what? What's that? McNutt. McNutt. He likes McNutt. I didn't like him. I didn't care for him. I liked him at first.

He was so catty in his reviews, but then I just really soured on him. He just seemed like he was picking things apart just to do it. I feel like it outgrew that, you know? And, you know, when I used to do a lot more shows there, there would always be a talkback once a week, you know,

where that means for anyone who doesn't know, after the show's over, the audience can stay and ask questions. Yeah, it's the worst thing imaginable. It's actually terrible because, first of all, some people get out there right away because they're way too eager to sort of answer questions. It's a pointless exercise. Those are the people who are never going to get asked questions.

Exactly. Yes. And then the star comes out latest, you know, and then. I mean, if you're lucky. Yeah. If you're lucky. And then there's a question like, you know, was it hard? And the whole cast looks at each other like, right?

It was so hard. It was really, really hard. You know, there's. How do you memorize all the words? And they sort of act like they're cooler than they are, which is just not necessary. Do you bring your own costumes? Sure.

There are questions like that, but Mitch used to come and he would just sit there in those scarves or a real high turtleneck, just a high turtleneck where it may look like he had broken his neck.

Yes, because it was Joshua with the scarves. No, sorry, Joshua with the scarves. I did get them confused because they were

both pretentious. Sorry, Mitch, you're right. Mitch wore the turtlenecks. Josh wore the scarves. That's right. But Mitch did wear both pretentious. Sorry, Mitch you're right. Mitch wore the turtlenecks. Josh wore the scarves. That's right. But Mitch did wear the turtlenecks. I'm not getting that wrong. Sometimes he would roll the turtleneck up instead of

down. Correct. He would have almost like a Mort from Bazooka Joe effect. That's what I'm saying. He would stop right under his nose. As if he couldn't move. He couldn't be bothered to look up at you. And he would ask, just that hand would keep going up. He would ask so many questions.

And sometimes he'd be the only one left for the, and the people would leave. And he shouldn't even be doing the, he shouldn't be asking questions at the talk back. That's not for him. No, not at all. He's a member of the press, the fourth estate. Yeah, Mitch is despicable, but I do hate that Josh.

Oh, I would love to see Josh get in a car accident. Oh no, please let's not wish that. Let's not wish that. What? Like the omen where a sheet of glass slices his head off. Do not talk about the omen, Bert. I have such a reaction to that movie. Bert, first of all.

Notice zero reverb in here. The organ is just. It's true. For a pipe organ. There's just no reverb. There's no reverb. That is a stop to shame. The organ is just... It's true. For a pipe organ. There's just no reverb. There's no reverb that is astonishing. The sound treatment. I might have found the ultimate place.

It's like the room is made of yarn. It's wild. I've never heard a pipe organ that contained before. It's so clean. The sound immediately stopped. Just amazing.

Wow. So believe you me, there were several times I worried about the twins. And then I had not seen that movie until I actually was an adult who had had children. I saw that movie. And don't you think that I got very scared about my twins and why they act the way they did? It never occurred to you before? I couldn't.

No, it didn't, okay? You're the last one then, Joan. I think a lot of people, a lot of people, if you, the most searched thing in Dignity Falls is, can there be two antichrists?

No! Are you serious? Yeah, I swear, you can look it up. You can look it up. Most Googled in indignity falls. Can there be more than one antichrist? Two antichrist question mark.

And they're talking about my boys. I mean, they don't, they don't mention them by name. Oh gosh. Well now this puts me right back into the place of when I first saw the omen and, and that, that kid and that shot of that man with the glass that was

it was absolutely horrible and weren't there like seven of them that they made afterwards because we couldn't have enough movies about one starred Sam Neill as a grown up Damien oh I do love him though but he has evil eyes Doug took me

on a date night to see Event Horizon boy oh boy wait are you thinking his eyes are like that forever now? No. That was just for that one role. Right, but then I couldn't unsee that. You know, I always saw him as sort of dangerous, but kind of in a hot way.

That movie is hella disturbing, I'll tell you what. Do you know, I've never seen that. I had a friend who worked in a video store who only saw that part of the movie. No! Never saw any

of the rest of the movie. No. Just walked in one day and that was right there on the screen. Oh, gosh. That is absolutely terrible. Lus, lus, lus?

Oh, boy, it's rubbing off on me. Now I can't even talk. You're a real Josh Gibson. Lus. Loss. Loss. Oh, that was such a noxious show. Everybody listen to me.

That's right. My Lord. It was the only show to close before the finish of the opening night performance. Yes, it did. It did because Mitch went out and he published his review and it got back to the producers and they closed in the middle of the show

at intermission. He literally came back from intermission. Here's what I think. I think Mitch pre-wrote a lot of that review and that's why I was able to publish so quickly. Most of his reviews would be a form letter, you know, with just insert name here, inserviceable.

He came back with a piping hot copy of the Town Cryer Flyer and read it aloud. He shouldn't be allowed to do that. He read it aloud in the lobby while everyone was having snacks for intermission. They're getting their gin and tonics and so forth. And their gypsum mart forth. And he's saying.

And their gypsum martinis. And otherwise terrible performance was ruined even further, et cetera, et cetera. And that I wasn't believable as a 39-year-old. But he praised Josh Gibson for his vision, which was strange. Oh, yes, he did. They're in on this together. Oh, they absolutely are. It's always the way.

It's always the way. All right, well, listen, I have a post to share before we go here. And speaking of ridiculous things, this just fits into it, I think. Is it about ridiculousness on MTV? It is not. It is not.

This is from Jim, and it just says, in need for one roof tile. The end? No. Oh, okay. He actually goes on. But there's just a picture of, you know, the sort of Spanish tile, the terracotta, the orange. Yes, I do. It's just a picture of one of those. Hello, neighbors, with a U, the British spelling.

Interesting. Back to the Brits with their extra letters. Hello, neighbors. I am in need of one roof tile as shown in picture. If you have an extra one or you are changing U roof, please let me know and see now. When I used to read those things i'd say it's probably a typo after meeting louise i'm like i don't know there's probably exactly

that's why we read these verbatim you never know right please let me know if i can get one or if anyone knows where i can get one thank you he first of all first of all one one? Yeah. I understand maybe, I guess, one broke, but it's not hard to find these. You've got a Home Depot. Why is he acting like this is a priceless heirloom, something made from back in the day that can't be replaced? It's one roof tile.

They're very easy to find. In fact, you know, I have a, sorry, I keep going on about my friends, but I have a friend who has a roof like that. And in his garage, there's about, oh, I would say a good four dozen of those things that will probably never come into play. They're always just sitting around. But there they are. If you have one of those houses, they are around.

They're around. I would say to this guy, look around. Just look around your house. I bet you'll find one. Look around your house. That's right, because he has that roof. And is he looking for someone to just give him one or is he willing to buy this

one roof tile from someone? I don't know. He really sounds, he's just really antsy to get it. Do you think maybe it's not for his roof? He doesn't specify it's for his roof. Wait, do you think he's going to eat out of it? I don't know. It takes all kinds. Who knows what he's going to do with this thing? Maybe he's building a

tiny skate park. He's trained some small pets. That's the most likely. He's trained some small pets to do kickflips and ollies, and he's almost, he just needs one more of those tiles. Maybe he stripped his own roof. Who knows? Oh, maybe he did

to make, or to make several. Yeah, that's why he needs just one more to finish this tiny skate park. Oh, the tiny skate park is his entire roof. I think he stripped the tiles off of the roof and then he ran out of them. And he's like, I can't believe I'm in this situation. I have one of these roofs and I don't have a million of these more. And he's like, I just need one more to complete my miniature skate park. I mean, listen, I would say that that's ridiculous.

Maybe we'll see that squirrel out there. I would say that's ridiculous before the last two episodes we've done. Now that sounds like someone we would talk to. Oh, as we say here, only in Dignity Falls. Is that what we said? No, that's what it was. Well, that's Dignity Falls.

That's right. The bear and the prospector who are about to fight. Mid-clash, turning to the viewer and waving. And then, of course, when you leave, they're shrugging. And they're hideously, they're both hideously disemboweled. Yes. We should take that down. Well, that does it for this edition of The Neighborhood.

Listen, if you... Well, that seems disrespectful in the mausoleum. Oh. To play the charge song. Flip loved that song. Oh, did he? I didn't realize. He loved that song.

Wait, what did you think he was playing? Which was he playing? He was playing the ball game. Da-da-da-da-da-da. Charge. Oh, yes. Got it. Corn.

He always thought it was corn. Oh, he thought it was corn. Not that he would just put that in himself, but when he had a ballpark, when everyone and like thousands of people were yelling charge, he heard corn. He really loved it. And to be fair, at the corn flipping, they would actually chant corn.

Well, not at the corn flipping, of course. The corn flipping, yeah. I didn't realize he used that song at the corn flip. And they would. And we'd go da-da-da-da-da-da, and we'd all yell corn. So close standing. All right. Thank you. go, da-da-da-da-da-da. And we'd all yell, corn! So close-standing. All right.

Thank you. Listen, if you are listening- You sound happy, Bert. I think we turned you around. I do sound happy. Look at you. Doug being so absurd. And my anger at him makes me happy.

If you have a neighbor post that we have missed, please send that in to us at Berttonjohn at gmail.com. And you can find us on Instagram at The Neighborhood Listen. We were for a little bit. We were posting the posts that we get here. And then we just stopped doing that. But maybe we will do it again. Who knows?

It is in God's hands. So on behalf of Doug and Joan and myself, thank you for listening to The Neighborhood Listen and bye. Goodbye. The Neighborhood Listen is executive produced and hosted by me, Paul F. Tompkins. And me, Nicole Parker. Our producers are Brett Morris and Judith Cardboe. The show is engineered by Brett Morris, who also plays Doug.

Our guest today was Heather Ann Campbell. The Neighborhood Listen is an Earwolf production. Want more of The Neighborhood Listen? Sign up and get a free month of Stitcher Premium. Go to stitcherpremium.com slash neighborhood, select the monthly plan, and use the promo code neighborhood.