The Neighborhood Listen - The Salon with Vic Michaelis

Episode Date: November 7, 2023

Burnt, Joan and Doug are still coming down from their live show in Los Angeles. Joining them is Dignity Falls resident Susan (Vic Michaelis), who is looking for the perpetrator of a targeted middle finger attack.Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for the Maximus plan to unlock access to the entire ad-free archive as well as brand new exclusive BONUS ROOM episodes adventuring deeper into Dignity Falls!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Look out, Canadian listeners, this one's for you. Coho is a mastercard with an easy-to-use app that makes managing your finances easier. Coho lets you earn cash back, borrow, build your credit history, and so much more. Join over 1 million Canadians and sign up for your free trial today. Download Coho on Google or App Store today or koho.ca for more details. Plus, for any basketball fans out there, get a $75 e-gift card for nbastore.ca when you sign up with the promo code koho75. That's code koho75. Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website.

Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad-free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of The Bonus Room, go to cbbworld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership. And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. Knock, knock. Who's there? Your neighbor. Good. neighborhood listen knock knock who's there your neighbor good indignity falls you're never alone you've got the neighbor half app and us burnt and jode from coyotes to mail theft to weird things to

sell we'll cover it all and meet new neighbors as well we'll chat about any posts you're missing so just tune in to The Neighborhood Listen. Welcome once again to The Neighborhood Listen. Welcome once again. Here we are. It feels like so long since we've done this, Joe. Because it has been. It has been very long. Darn near a year. I think just over a year. No. I think just over a year. No. I think so.

That long? Well, since we started our last season, I think so. I think it was last year. That is unbelievable. Is that wrong? And of course we did, you know, the beginning of the- I thought we did a live show. Babe.

Yeah, we just- Oh, no, we did. No, we did do that, babe. We did do that. We had a wonderful time at the Dynasty Typewriter. That's right. Am I saying that right? Yeah. How would you think. Am I saying that right? Yeah.

How would you think you would be saying it incorrectly? I was LA. Everyone says everything crazy out here. La Cienega. What's that mean? Yeah, we're still in LA, by the way. We are. Yeah, we're recording in a hotel room.

Well, because I wanted to stay for a little bit. Yeah, it's nice. Because last time we got in and out, we took red eyes both ways. We did. I don't know why we did that terrible choice. I had to get up to go to the airport at four in the morning. It was awful. And we went to

the Kenny Loggins after party because Doug had gone and found, last time he was playing at the Hollywood Bowl and Doug ended up over there. We decided, let's stay up all night. And so we went to the Kenny Loggins after party. We really, really burned the candle at two ends. And so this time, I was just like, oh, I just want to...

That's how my mom always used to say it. Isn't that weird? Is that so? Yeah, she wouldn't say both ends. Burning the candle at two ends. Because there was just something more, there's something sort of more visceral about it, you know, that it's like at two separate ends, you know, it's like that's really how much you're pushing it but don't you feel like bringing the candle at both ends implies a sort of a terrified urgency of like they're gonna eventually they're gonna meet in

the middle oh i never thought about it that way because there's so much drama when you say two ends it's like well one could be there one could be at a right angle sure what a candle that would be well you know what you know i had a a Catholic friend who told me about St. Blaze. There was this thing called St. Blaze Day. On his feast day, you know, the Catholics have these things called feast days. I don't know these things. I'm Lutheran. Well, good for you.

Thank you. And so St. Blaze was the patron saint of throat ailments. No. And so on the feast day of St. Blaise, after mass, there would be a two-pronged candle that you would get up there, much like communion line, and the priest would bless your throat

by putting the two prongs on either side of your neck. Why are Catholics so weird? What is wrong with them? They're a little strange. Wait, while the candle was lit? I don't know if you want to just yell out, why are Catholics so weird. What is wrong with them? I don't know if you want to just yell out, why are Catholics so weird on a

recording? I considered maybe not doing it, but it was really, really coming up from someplace deep inside me. Doug can always edit it out. I guess that's true. Doug, is that true? I always can, yeah. Speaking of St. Blaise, that was his nickname in high school.

Your nickname was St. Blaze? Remind me why. Because you were high all the time, babe. Oh, yeah. Oh, B-L-A-S-E, B-L-A-Z-E. Oh, I'm sorry. Is it spelled B-L-A-I-S-E? That's correct, yes. Oh, boy.

That sounds, now that sounds like a, you know, like a real rich kid's name. You know what I mean? It's so close to Blaine. Blaze. Stop hitting her, Blaze. That's what I hear when I hear that name.

That's all that Blaze is doing. And what's Blaze's sister's name? Oh, it's something like Uva. So these are kids that go to private boarding schools. Absolutely. across the ocean listen a name is a name what's in a name you know it's like i understand name your kids whatever you want sometimes it gets to be a little much for me and also can i even really talk not yours in the end i need and i get it i can't it takes listen it takes one to know one i wanted my kids to have

special fun names that's why my daughter's named j July. And my twins are named Matt and, um, cumulus. That's right. That's exactly right. And, um, so, I mean, listen, you believe me, it was not good when they tried to shorten it in school. I really went awry there. I really didn't. I did him a disservice. Out loud. It's not so bad, but written. It's really terrible. Awful. It's just awful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm sorry. I apologize to all the Catholics. I apologize to all the blazes. Saint or either.

Right. Or other, I meant to say. Now, wait a minute. I really have to go back. Was the candle lit when it went on either side of your throat? No, it was not. It was not.

I don't even know why they bothered to make it a candle. I don't know. I don't know. That's very strange. It is very strange. Now you have me self-conscious. I just, I don't want to upset any religious know. That's very strange. It is very strange. Now you have me self-conscious. I just, I don't want to upset any religious sect.

Well, let me do it. Catholics are weird. Well, now how come you can say it? Just because you were one? No, I never was one. Oh. I never was one. Oh, I got the sense that you were one.

Me, burn me a payday. I never was one. Okay, got it. I just got the sense that you were. My friend was. Oh, I'm sorry. I have the pass. I forget that when you say your friend,

it means you're talking about your friend. Sometimes I don't know why. I think it means you're talking about yourself. No. These are old friends of mine, people that I don't see anymore. Of course, you know, I have a different circle that I run with now. The gang from the pharmacy. Hey, how is the gang? Have you been doing any activities

lately? We have been having a ball. Oh, wow! Oh my gosh. I love when people say I have been having a ball. Oh, wow. Oh, my gosh. I love when people say I've been having a ball. Are they referring to how fun it is to bounce a ball or a ball is in like Jane Austen times? That's a ball. I always picture them balancing on a ball.

Kind of traveling down the street. Now, why would that be fun? That sounds like a nightmare. Like a drawing of an elephant on a circus ball. That's what Doug is picking. They never could have done that in real life, right? I'm sorry. They're doing it in the little engine that could

or whatever the hell the book is where you're always seeing people at the circus and they've always got someone on a ball. That's not a thing. Well, I mean, it could be a thing for other creatures, but not an elephant. Because that ball would have to be made of what? In order to sustain them? Titanium? I don't know. Well, I mean, it could be a thing for other creatures, but not an elephant. Definitely not an elephant. Because that ball would have to be made of what in order to sustain them? Titanium?

I don't know. Probably titanium. It would have to just be solid round cement, I feel like. Solid round cement. And then, of course, they painted circus colors. Of course. Now, Doug, where are you? We're in this hotel room.

Oh, right. And we don't know. You insisted on recording somewhere else in the hotel. I'm in Fear Alley. What's Fear Alley? It's just this little corridor like near the stairs. Oh, it's in the hotel. Right, because what they're doing is, because they're already setting up for a Halloween haunt here in the hotel.

They're doing one of those all inclusive things where you like pay a certain amount and then like you get drinks and you get your drugs and then you go through. You get drinks and then your drugs. I say you get your drinks and your drugs. You got a wristband, you know, I just put the kids are doing all the time now.

Is it a different wristband for drinks and drugs? Yes, it is. If it's color coded. Right. And then, and then, you know,

they've got all these sorts of different like haunted rooms and themed rooms and so but it's still it's still a working hotel where people are staying yes it's just a well it's a cordoned off section i think they even put like the yellow tape on to make it look all scary you know i personally hate these things that seems bad for business you think but i think people i think this culture is halloween crazy now don't you think do you really i think we've gone too far i think we have gone too far listen just the most basic have you ever been to one of these spirit halloween stores i mean really i have the first thing that greets you it's like it's like a fucking demon clown that is 20 feet tall i'm sorry but you know what

babe since when are you scared? I'm fired up today. You're really fired up about this. I think it's just the change in the weather. I'm out here on the West Coast. Do you know what I mean? I got to drop a few F-bombs. Like they do here. See, I'm still me.

I said F-bombs. It's true that people in Dignity Falls don't swear that much. They really don't. I mean, you can say it's that sort of small town vibe, you know, where everyone's just sort of like, how are you? Good morning. It's a town where people say good morning and that doesn't happen anymore. Well, of course, it was also founded by people who were like too conservative to be Puritans.

That's right. Yes. Yes. And they, so when they landed on Plymouth Rock, this group of people was like, we're not hanging around these heathens anymore. Yes. And they, so when they landed on Plymouth Rock, this group of people was like, we're not hanging around these heathens anymore. Yes. And they made their way in the other direction. And yes, no, go on.

Towards Dignity Falls. Towards Dignity Falls. And also, but that's what they named it. Of course, the name is in, I mean, the idea is in the name that it's just, it is about, it is supposed to be about dignity and it is supposed to be about, you know, a certain civility, I think. So I suppose I'm just letting my hair down the falls comes in uh i don't know since what's strange is uh for a long time people couldn't even find the water find waterfalls in our town yeah so people think it was initially i mean now now we did find one but it was initially

it was we did eventually find one yes you know initially, it was named. We did eventually find one. Yes. You know what? Frankly, it was disappointing. It was. That's the thing. I mean, I think people call it,

I think it's sort of probably too extravagant a name for it. Yeah. It's a four foot high waterfall. It is. Yes. It's very, if you photograph it.

It's actually just runoff from the water treatment plant. Honestly, it really is. It's going over, it's coming out of a concrete pipe. It is. And I feel like they went a little out of their way

to find a waterfall and call it that. Well, because people were like, why is it called Dignity Falls? Where's the falls? You're right, for a long time. I don't know. Why do you think they did that? Because it sounds,

maybe just because they knew people would come. Because that sounds, oh, well, I gotta, if it's Disney Falls, I gotta come see that landmark. You know, I gotta come see that, what is it? That wonder of the world. Yes, one of the wonders of the world is that four-foot waterfall coming off the water.

They went way too far calling it a wonder of the world. Closer to an aqueduct, to be perfectly honest. Absolutely. Shout out to the ancient Romans. You know, as a man, of course, I i think about ancient rome every day you know you said that the other night and is that really the equivalent to women thinking about target because that is how you use men think about the roman empire women think about the Roman Empire. Women think about Target. Babe, I mean, this feels wildly reductive for both sides.

But babe, do you think about the Roman Empire a lot? We already covered you don't like Target. For those of you who didn't listen, he doesn't like Target because he got his fingers stuck in the very thick red shopping cart one day. Actually, it was in two of them. Terrible. You were in two?

I had both hands in two separate shopping carts. It started with him yelling, look at me. And then I turned around and I think he had a plan to do something cool. When you say, look at me. Doug, when you say you had both hands stuck in two separate shopping carts, does that mean four carts total?

Oh, I didn't hear it that way. i know i don't think that so was each no i thought i thought he just made doug question if he has four i thought each hand he did ask himself do i have four hands i meant did you somehow get each hand stuck in two carts no sorry one cart per hand one car per hand that's so that hand. That's fair. Yeah. Edward Target Hands. Something like that. Edward Target Hands. I tried to make the best out of it and call myself that.

But then I couldn't even. For the hour that he was stuck. He really tried to get it to stick. Anyone walking by. He tried to, you know, make it easier. He made it for better for them. You know, like the day work. made it for better for them, you know. Edward Target hands.

And I suggested Edward Cart hands. He said, no, this is the way to go. This is the way to go. Because Edward Cinderhands wasn't Edward Hedgehands. Or Edward Home Depot hands. Right, well, I don't think Home Depot figured into the story of Edward Cinderhands. I guess that's where you buy shears, though. That's what I was thinking of. Oh, I see. Right. Well, I don't think Home Depot figured into the story. I guess that's where you buy shears, though.

That's what I was thinking of. Oh, I see. Yes. Listen, I think we've gotten way too far off the mark here. But anyways, yes, I wanted to know if he thinks about the Roman Empire, babe. Do you think about it? I do. Yeah.

What do you think when you think about it? Like just, oh, those were the good old days for us men. Yeah. I wonder where they went to the bathroom. Of course. Of do you think when you think about it? Like just, oh, those were the good old days for us men. Yeah. I wonder where they went to the bathroom. Of course. Of course you do. Yes. Is that it?

It was not unlike a Target bathroom. Let me tell you. It's not like they've really come far. Well, I heard that they use sort of squabs. I'm sorry. Squabs. Squabs. Small game.

Small game heads. Small game heads. Little birds. You know, that is extravagant that they were wiping with a delicacy. That's decadent. Just meat falling off the bone. Oh, they were eating eyeballs because they were like,

what is something you're not supposed to do? Yes. Let's eat the tongues of things. Okay, so we've established Doug doesn't really think about the Roman Empire that much. He just thinks about how people went to the bathroom in the olden times, I think.

Throughout history. Because when you say it, Bert, what do you mean when you think about the Roman Empire? Oh, I just think of legions marching. I think of coins with Caesar's head upon them. You did use the word phalanx the other day. Yes. Is that what that comes from?

I think about phalanxes of Roman soldiers. I think, of course, about Caesar going in the guise of a beggar to hear what people in the empire really thought of him. Have you ever thought about doing that? Like coming into the pharmacy in a disguise so that you could hear what your employees think, what your colleagues think of you? Oh, that's terrifying. Well, isn't that so scary? I always wonder about that.

You know, we have cameras. We have cameras at the realty office and sometimes that's why I never leave. Why do you have cameras there? Everyone has cameras everywhere. There's five cameras on you right now. Ask and answer. In this hotel room,

there's five cameras on me? Of course there are. We're in a hotel in LA, for God's sakes. There's cameras everywhere. But I got news for you. The other reason why I installed Tintletown. That's right, Tintletown. Let me tell you, the reason why I put the cameras in is because I am still trying to see if I can get a reality show

off the air. Off the ground. Off the ground and on the air is what I meant to say. And this would be, this would be the comings and goings in the, in the, in the realty office of hot real, of hot realtor,

summer company. Yes. Yeah. We did LLC. We mentioned this, this came up between seasons, but Joan, you've started your own realty company.

Yes. Because, listen, the last time it started, the last time we came out here, because I could see that they were basically real realtor. Realtors have turned into models. I think this was the last time I swear, swore, too. And I think that you got mad at me. But I was just like, you have to be and pardon, pardon my French, but you have to be a fucking supermodel, be a realtor out here now.

And it's unbelievable. They have agents. They have they have crazy Instagram accounts. And pardon my French, but you have to be a fucking supermodel, be a realtor out here now. And it's unbelievable. They have agents. They have crazy Instagram accounts. All they're doing is exactly what I've been doing for years and years and years. And now all of a sudden, they're famous for it. And so I just said, well, okay, I'm not going to complain. I'm going to sit and do my own thing. And I'm going to start seeing if there's anything during the day, footage or whatnot, any fun moment to catch,

because there is a lot of drama in Realty. True, but you do have to, the dirty secret of these reality shows is that, of course, they're heavily scripted in that they guide the stories and everything. So you do have to somehow fashion a storyline for the people in the office. And have you given any thought to that? Yes. Listen, I am aware of that. Okay. I am an actress myself.

I'm aware that. I'm just letting you know that I'm aware. Please don't swear again. Does it really upset you that much? That's why I'm in fear alley. Why do you think I'm in fear alley? Why? Because somehow my words won't cut into you as much if you're out there?

I did not know this bothered you so much. I mean, I'm sorry. I needed a place to go when I'm scared. It's a Fear Alley. You thought, oh, that's a place for scared people. Yeah. Yes. It's already been a lot being out here.

What have you seen? What's going on? Well, I tried to get on the hotel internet. Okay. Oh, now that's scary. It sure is. It said Bad Gateway. Oh.

Wow. That's terrifying. That is scary. Bad Gateway is a great name for a horror movie. Bad Gateway. That could be a Rhubarb Care Van song. Oh, yes, it could. Doug's Band.

I'll tell you what, though. One of Doug's Band. Isn't that one of them? Isn't that frustrating? I mean, I can't just come to a hotel and just have the internet for free. You're going to charge me for that, too. I mean, it just gets me. I also think it's frustrating that we don't have the internet for free in our homes.

That's also true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How about we're still paying for water? Well, that's the world we live in, Bernt. You need it to live. Here's how much it costs. We have to pay for dentistry. Oh, boy.

For eyeglasses. Yeah, for all of it. Want to see? Here's how much it'll cost. I thought you were asking me if I wanted to see your latest dental work what is he check it out you're looking great though you thank you you have wonder you have wonderful teeth thank you well you know i had all my my old uh iron fillings replaced with the porcelain yes so now you can't tell that i ever had so many cavities yes back in the day boy that was what's so was so annoying about it you could just tell who brushed and who didn't and who did a good job at childhood and who didn't and i had 26 cavities that's what they were yeah so my it

was just like how many it looked like a scantron test in my mouth did i use that correctly anyone i want to just don't my Many people won't even know. But yes, it was called a Scantron. Where when you ran out of time, you just guessed. Yeah, exactly. Number two pencil. Made a pattern. Just made a pattern.

Number two pencil. Number two pencil. These are the things. Were there any other number pencils? You get one point for name. Yes. There were other pencils. I remember writing with a number three pencil. What? Yes. I don't remember that. There were other pencils. There were, I remember writing with a number three pencil. Oh my, what?

And it's very, yes. I don't remember that. And it is a lighter and softer graphite, I suppose, than the number two. And it's kind of a disappointing experience. And you feel like, I'm not really writing with a pencil. Why do they bother me? Who are these for? Scantrons hate it.

Scantrons hate it. That was the ad for number these for? Scantrons hate it. Scantrons hate it. That was the ad for number three pencils. Scantrons hate it. This is before, of course, the free figure, the internet ad of like, Scantrons hate it when you use this one trick. But they can't stop you. Do they even use them anymore? I mean, who's using pencils anymore?

Some weirdo. I mean, Scant using pencils anymore some weirdo I mean I'd use scantrons any of it I mean it's weird to think about how everyone had to walk up and use a pencil sharpener remember that that was a glorious time because all the girls butts jiggled right I know that was the whole thing

Joan we need to get back to show what you must think of me I meant when you got to go up to there I wasn't thinking about leering at my classmates I have heard people talk about

that was the time that was the time only time you saw anything you just what you're acting like I'm the one who did it don't be mad at me for reporting the truth I'll ask you off who was acting like I'm the one who did it. Don't be mad at me for reporting the truth.

I'll ask you off mic. Who was it that said that? I think you know. Honestly, there's a few candidates. Actually, now I can't quite remember where that came from. I feel like I might have just seen a meme about it, to be perfectly honest. That someone was like, oh, when a girl walked up and that's when you got to see. I love any meme that starts with aw.

There was a little motion that your body did when he did. And I think that's what they were referring to. I understood. Right. But I don't know why you got to come at me like I'm the one who invented leering at women. We were just surprised. You got so mad at me. I'm so scared.

I was just I was just taken aback. That's all. I was not mad. I just said the butts wiggled. I didn't sing WAP for you word by word. Do you want to come in here? I might have to move over. Is there room for one more in fear alley?

Well, I guess I have to apologize for letting my hair down. I will put my hair right back up into my Puritan braids. Good Lord. All right. I have no idea how long we've been recording, Doug. Is time the same in Fair Alley? Oh, good question.

It's been 21 minutes. That's just about right. I mean, what should we do? Should we take a break? Because we do have a guest. Well, I did. Okay. But I did want to hear you answer whether or not you would, who, what would you try to

find a way to see what your colleagues say about you? Would you ever, what do you think about that? Well, you know, I mean, that fills me with dread because what, what if they don't actually like me? I know. And what if I'm the victim of one of these you know bets where it's like someone says I bet you you can't be friends with Burnt for a year.

Oh no a year. Yes. Wow like a weird reverse what is it those movies where the guy tricks the girl what is it Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey what was that called? How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. That's right that's the one. So that's what you're saying but just with just among friends just among colleagues. How to Lose a Colleague in 10 days. That's right. That's the one. So that's what you're saying. But just with,

just among friends, just among colleagues. How to lose a colleague in 10 days. What is it? Like she's all that where it's like, uh, they, they,

somebody, uh, you know, it's going to take this mousy person to the prom on a bet. Oh, like, um, let's just keep throwing out movie titles.

Like, uh, the Patrick Dempsey one where, uh, where she pretends to like a nerd, right? Remember? Patrick Dempsey one.

Oh, what was that one called? Babe, come on. You got to remember that one. Right? Remember? Patrick Dempsey one. What was that one called? Babe, come on. You got to remember that one. Yeah. It's an old one. It's the basis for many movies. For many movies.

And I guess, does it go back to Shakespeare? You're worried they were going to... Everything goes back to Shakespeare. Let me tell you. So true. It really does. It really does. There's only five ideas.

Except Avatar. Avatar was the only... You really broke the mold on that one. The only original idea. Oh, I want to go back to that Avatar place so bad you do did you go see

that second one Bert of course I did the way of water you loved it so much oh I love the world of Avatar so bad he says oh I love this

I love that that black light poster world I wish I could live there be a Na'vi be an Avatar myself you hardly like to go anywhere

but you left your apartment for a three and a half hour IMAX film to plug my hair into a space horse see these are the sides of you I love finding out about I would not have guessed

so many just brilliant ideas in those films and I can't wait for all of the next ten sequels and lucky for you they go on and on and on forever and ever. That you get your money's worth with Avatar let me tell you. Sure do and then some.

Yes. You don't leave an Avatar movie saying well that was too short. That was too quick. Yes. That's never been said. Yeah. Well I guess that's one legacy to have you know. Truly. Truly and hats off to you James Cameron. Alright. Now we did it right? We can take a break.

Now we did it. Now we did it. Now we've killed enough time. Yeah. All right. Well, of course, this is The Neighborhood Listen, the show where we explore the neighborhood of Dignity Falls. And we are going to have a guest, one of our neighbors here, in just a moment.

And first, this ad. Oh, it's happening again. Oh, no. He's floating above himself. I am floating above myself. He's floating above himself. Floating above himself. He's looking at himself talking. I have gotten away from the point of what I was saying. He's thinking about being plugged into a horse.

I want to pull up my hair to that horse. Roman Empire. Roman Empire. Roman Empire. Oh, thank you. That worked. That worked. Thank you so much.

Oh, it's like the Kate Bush song in Stranger Things for you. That's what pulls you back. Oh, I didn't understand. We talked all about this. Remember you watched one episode. Alright, don't get mad at me, Joan. It's just running up. Now you're looking for an excuse because we got so mad at you. You're talking about. I'm not looking for any excuse. You know, just because I raised my volume

doesn't mean I'm angry. I just can't help I project. I have a theater training. That's all it is. That's running up that hill, not Roman that hill. Oh, Doug. I think in case you're confused.

I love it. That's fantastic. It's running up that hill. Roman up that hill. If I only could make a deal with Mars. All right. Roman. God,

uh, let's, we're going to take a break. When we come back, we will have a guest right here on the neighborhood. Oh, we did it at the same time. That was fun.

Hi, this is Coco. Um, does anyone have a mustache that can meet up with me to see if it scares my dog? I just got a new rescue dog, and he got really scared when he saw this guy who had a mustache and was holding a bike. He started trembling and put his tail between his legs and almost ran into traffic. Wouldn't walk in the direction of the guy. almost ran into traffic, wouldn't walk in the direction of the guy.

Other than that incident, he has been completely relaxed, and he doesn't seem to be scared of other bikes or males. Wanted to see if it's maybe the mustache. If you have a mustache and are willing to meet up to help me see if that's the issue we need to address, please message me. And welcome back to The Neighborhood Listen. It always gets me. It just wakes you up, wakes you right up. That's what I want to do because I feel like the listeners might,

they might fall asleep during the ads or they might start, their mind starts drifting because they think, well, this ad doesn't apply to me. Or like me, they were looking up the title of that movie, which is Can't Buy Me Love. Can't Buy Me Love. Can't Buy Me Love. And the idea was he was a dork. Patrick Dempsey.

Yes. And she was kind of like a mean girl. And she was going to just sort of pretend as if she was into him. And he paid her or something. Is that the same one? Darn it. I'm going to have to look up. I don't know where the where the title comes into the.

Was it a period? Oh, I see why you're asking. Right. It's a Beatles song, but he's wondering why, who tried to buy the love? All right. It doesn't matter.

Well, it does not matter. It really doesn't. Now look, if you're a long-time listener or a first-time listener, you get the explanation anyway. We here on The Neighborhood Listen, what we do is we scour the NeighborHap, which of course is the social networking platform for neighborhoods.

And we go here to our NeighborHap here in Dignity Falls. We look for interesting people that we want to talk to to get to know our neighbors better. That was great, Bernt. You stayed right in your body on that one. Thank you. Boy, it was touch and go because I almost bailed out at the end. Well, it was great. Good job.

And of course, people submit a post to us that we may have missed. This one, this one comes to us by. It's okay. It's okay. You know, I read the word by. I hate that. Because it says submitted by. Right.

And you don't say it comes to us by. You say it comes to us from. That's right. It was submitted by. May Wolf. May Wolf. May Wolf. Thank you. What a strong name.

May Wolf. It is. Submitted this one. And we tracked down the person who posted it. This is a post from Susan. And Susan says, What's up with the jogger on Old Elm giving everyone the finger? Last Saturday morning, my husband and I were driving on Old Elm near Dignity Park.

A woman jogging on the sidewalk started very aggressively giving us the finger. We were kind of taken aback and wondered what we did to antagonize her. We weren't driving fast, and we weren't even in the lane closest to where she was running on the sidewalk. Then this afternoon, I saw the same woman running about 4.50 PM on the sidewalk outside Gerald Ford subdivision. Once again, she was flipping off every single car that passed her in such a way that makes me think she has a lot of pent up hostility. Anyone know what her deal is? she has a lot of pent-up hostility. Anyone know what her deal is? That was posted in general to anyone.

Yes. And so Susan is just putting this out to the world. And so welcome to the neighborhood. So Susan, hello. Susan. Susan. Susan? Yes. Yes.

Okay. No, but I was welcoming her. Oh. And then you cut right to the chase and said, welcome, Susan. And I was giving the name of the show, which admittedly I did not have to chase and said, welcome, Susan. And I was giving the name of the show, which admittedly, I did not have to do. Oh, oh, oh, you were welcoming her to the neighborhood. Listen, Susan, Susan, I'm so sorry.

No, hey, well, thank you so much for having me. I so appreciate it. It's been a long day. Okay, so you have seen this person giving the finger, not just to you and the person that you were driving. Was it your husband, did you say? My husband. Yes. DeMarco of the salon. DeMarco. Oh! Wow! Absolutely!

DeMarco, yes, that's my husband. Oh, I'm so jealous. Newly married. Congratulations! I'm almost blinded by that rock. I appreciate it. That's why the shop was closed for a couple weeks. Yes, that's right. If you had a hair appointment, he's got a new do that rock. Oh, I appreciate it. That's why the shop was closed for a couple weeks. Yes, that's right. So if you had a hair appointment, he's got a new do on his head and that's me.

Oh, that's not funny. I didn't get that. It's salon humor. If you came around, you'd understand if you were around the salon. Salon humor is very elevated, I've heard. It is. Yeah, so we tell lots of jokes when we're in the salon,

the sort of things like that. Do you work in the salon as well? Well, I hang. So that's sort of my thing now. I'm sort of, I'm a local fixture, as they like to call it. Oh, we don't say that. We don't say that, actually. The saying, of course, in the community,

the Dignity Falls community, the salon is the place where everyone hangs out and where the news is discussed, gossip, and so forth. Everyone's just hanging out at the salon. And I say, I hang like hair, right? I hang like some loose hair on the ground. Sweep me up, baby. That's what I say to him every night.

I say, baby, sweep me up. And so we sort of hang and it's just nice being around family, you know what I mean, during the day. Sure, absolutely. I feel like I've been lonely for so long. Oh, why is that? I've been so alone. My last husband died.

So it was, it's okay. It's been a while. So, um, now I am moving on, moving on into the salon. How did you meet your husband?

How did you start hanging in the salon? Oh, the current, your current one. DeMarco. DeMarco, Con DeMarco. Well,

his first name is Con. The last name is DeMarco. Con? Con. Con DeMarco. Uh, spelled like France. But everyone just calls him DeMarco because he is a, he's a master.

Oh, as in the festival? His name is, Con is in the festival. Well, the festival is, is, as in, the festival is like Con DeMarco is how we sort of mention it in the salon. Oh, wow. Yeah. So, you know, it's, we met in a really interesting way. What was that? Oh, Jack was just trying on we met in a really interesting way. What was that? Oh, Jack was just trying on a little French accent.

I see. My husband is from France, so we sort of take that pretty seriously. Oh, sure. Oh, yeah. That's Con DeMarco. He's from France. He's from France. And, of course, the name of the salon is Waves and Cowlicks.

Yeah, Waves and Cowlicks. Yeah, Waves and Cowlicks. Yeah. Why'd you say it like that? I'm letting people know in case they're not familiar. Okay. Yeah, because people outside of Dignity Falls, we have like, at least we found out, 40 listeners from outside Dignity Falls

who listen to the show. Well, that's incredible, the reach. And so, and you know, listen, it's just stiff competition for haircutting, hair cutteries, salons. Oh. It's just stiff competition for hair cutting, hair cutteries. Salons. Oh. It's a stiff competition for salons. Careful, Bernd.

Careful. What was that? She said she takes that very seriously. I'm not sure you hit it. I'm not sure you hit it. Thank you for saying that. I wanted to say, no shade on that, but I did want to see if I could improve on the pronunciation. Salon.

Salon. Everyone knows that it's salon. Salon. Is that correct? Okay. Well, I feel like we're maybe getting away from the point maybe we just stay away from doing a salon now i can't stop doing you know there's a lot that goes into it and uh like i don't feel like i personally can be the judge of the accents because it's not my accent to judge are you French at all? Me? Yes. Yes. Oh, really? Born and raised. Born and raised? Okay, so then how come

you don't have an accent? You have no accent to speak of. Strict training. Wow. I moved here three and a half years ago after my husband passed away. Okay, so he was French as well? No. Oh. Where was he from? He was from do you know Sheboygan? Wisconsin?

Sheboygan, Wisconsin. Yes. He was from Sheboygan. Wisconsin? Sheboygan, Wisconsin. Yes. He was from Sheboygan. He moved to France and then unfortunately did pass away. What moved him to France? What brought him to France? Business and pleasure. Oh, well, France is good at both of them.

Were you already there? Yes. Well, I was born and raised there. Oh, right. You met me. We established you. I was in the army. We established this seconds ago. Oh, you were in the army? Yes. Oh, I was born and raised there. Oh, right. You met me. We established you. I was in the army. We established this seconds ago.

Oh, you were in the army. Yes. Oh, wow. The French army. Now, in France, the army is not compulsory for men, but it is for women. It is for women, yes. So I was doing my, as we call it, civic duty. I don't know what they'd call it over here.

So I was sort of doing that, running a small. So we call it. No, I just thought that thought had ended. And I wanted to know what the small thing was. But you're just running a small. I'm sorry. Sometimes my French accent slips back in. So that might have been.

I don't know if that was it, but okay. That might have been the issue. Sometimes I have trouble with the language barrier. So if it doesn't show, it's not apparent. Sometimes I feel like nobody is understanding what I'm saying. Oh, well,

you're coming through loud and clear. Well, Hey, I appreciate that. And if at any point you have any issues with sort of like the way I phrase things or words that I'm using, please let me know. And I'm sorry.

Well, I was just saying, I understand. Well, I was using the actual language. You know what I was saying? I feel like that's worse. Is it?

You thought that was French? Oh, oh, wow. Yikes. Boy, oh boy. What was that?

I knew that was going to be a word that Doug found funny. That is, that is Doug. The sound you hear is the voice of my husband. You two are on video. I'm just hearing a voice sort of in the... Am I here? You are.

Yes, you are. Yes, we're all here in the hotel together. But you can't see Doug because he's in a different spot. He normally records at home in a different room. Yes. Yeah, you're connected wirelessly. I understand. Can I say something?

Thank you so much for flying me out. Of course. Absolutely. Absolutely. I really appreciate that yeah when you emailed me yesterday and said can you be on the podcast i said okay assuming maybe i was going to be coming around to one of your houses and then i got a business class ticket yes and you know what we might have we might have dug into our budget just a little bit too much for that because we didn't mean to be here an extra day but then because then i just what i i did i and i am sorry i said let's stay another day and i totally forgot that we had a guest and so we said how can how soon can you get here and we will fly you business class and absolutely and now the way i recommend things to be done oh

no the podcast coffers are dwindling oh i see well then maybe now is a bad time to mention you did put your credit card on file with the airline. And so I was ordering snacks. Oh, wow. Okay. Thank you. Wow, wow. Thanks for letting me know. Well, I just didn't realize.

Well, because I offered to put my card and they said, there's a card on file. Do you want to use that? And I thought it'd be rude not to. Oh. So you were ordering snacks on the plane? Well, I had a couple of snacks on the plane. But it's business class. They're not supposed to charge you.

They're not free. Yeah. It was my first time in business class. They said, they're free. And I said, charge it. Honey, you're working hard. Charge it. You insisted time in business class. They said they're free. And I said, charge it. Honey, you're working hard. Charge it.

I said, it's free. And I said, usually everyone tries to consume all the free things they possibly can, but you just went the extra mile. Now that I spend enough time in the salon, I realize how hard people in positions of service are working. And so I said,

I said, please charge it to the card, no matter what it takes um and tip yourself tip yourself something nice wow i am very afraid to get this bill next month well uh any anyhow uh well you let me know what i can do well i i'll see i'll see you let me know how i can how i can help with that um i'll let you know how many francs it cost me i'll do the conversion how about that what that's but that wasn't i didn't use an accent i didn't use an accent i was just trying help with that. I'll let you know how many francs it cost me. I'll do the conversion. How about that? I didn't use an accent. I didn't use an accent.

I was just trying to relate to her on her level of monetary. I think it's euros now. I think it's euros. Oh yeah, you're right. We do spend. A good note, Doug. I haven't really dealt in sort of like hard cash in a while. That's sort of where we put things on

card now. We move towards a cashless society. Yeah, sure. Right. That's sort of where we put things on card. Yes. We move towards a cashless society. Yeah, sure. Which a lot of people say is. You got one of those cute little iPads you just swivel around and then you just go

do-do-do-do and then you just stick your card in and then you can Do you do that? Do you do do-do-do? I'd like to. Yeah, do you not go

do-do-do? I do, yeah. I love the do-do-do. I thought that that was sort of a universal thing that we were all doing. Good. Well, it's good to know

that at least we in this room are. Doug, do you do- in this room are Doug every time I think you'd be the happiest to do it oh I guess I could see Doug really enjoying going really getting it I essentially I well I don't really feel like I've spent the money unless I do that because since I stopped using cash I have to have something that makes me feel like I'm actually spending money otherwise I feel like it's fake money that makes so much sense and you certainly made sure you were spending money on that plane. Well, so let's get back to this jogger. It would have been rude not to.

I understand. It's your culture to not be rude. Why would you think it was my culture to not be rude? Why did you say it like that? Oh, nothing, nothing. Do we have a problem? Oh, we don't. Oh my goodness, no. Oh my goodness, no. We do not have a problem. There's no problems here. No, we're thrilled to have you here. Well, you know what? We do have a problem. Oh my goodness. No problem. We do not have no problems. No,

we're thrilled to have you. Well, you know what we do have a problem and you know what this problem is, is this jogger that keeps flipping you off. Now tell us about that. Me and Condo Marco are driving in my 2014 RAV4 on, um, what street were we on? Oh, Elm. We were on Elm. Yeah. Thank you. Old Elm. Old Elm. So we're driving in my RAV4 down Old Elm. Opposite side of the city. Well, sure. And we're driving and the jogger The jogger is on the street and then all of a sudden

Ha! Bird. Do you see what I'm doing? Yes, I do. She's extending her middle finger. Ha ha. Yes. Laughing at us. Oh, and laughing. Laughing. Oh, you didn't mention that. Pointing to us pointing going you and then we sort of went us and they went yeah and then she did the roll down your window sign and we went us and she went yes you and so we rolled down our window and we go are

you okay she goes yeah stop the car for a second oh we stopped the car and we go do you need help and she goes yeah i need help i need to find a place to put this. And then flips us off. She had like a little pattern that she did. I would argue it was a bit. It sounds like a bit. It was almost like a bit. And then we were like, okay,

maybe this is just like a funny thing that teenagers do. And was this person a teenager? No, at least 43. Okay. That's a specific number to arrive at. At least 43. Okay.

And I could tell because she was wearing a T-shirt that said, I love. I love class. She wrote, I love class of 1997. Wait, the T-shirt said, I love class of 97. I love class of 97. Been there, done that. And so I assume that she must be at least 43 years old.

Speaking of which, you know, we talked about t-shirts recently, about front back t-shirts, you know, telling a story. And I would almost have put been there, done that on the back. Well, it's funny that you say would have put it on the back because there would have been no would have put that on the back. Well, it's funny that you say would have put it on the back because there would have been no. Would have put it on the back. Okay.

Now, that was funny. And that was in your own accent. Do you see that was a part of your culture? And so I think that that was wonderful. And maybe continue to follow that impulse. But wait, Susan, what did you think should be on the back? Well, no, there was a full. There was a.

It was full of writing on the back. There would have been no room. So I like a concert T-shirt. I love tour dates. Well, you would have thought, but no. In that style is what I'm saying. Lots of tiny lettering? Yes. Lots of tiny lettering in the back, exactly like that.

If you've ever been to a competition, maybe volleyball or martial arts of some kind, where they sort of put everybody's last name on the back of the t-shirt. It was like that, but instead of last name, it was full sentences. Oh, is it that kind of thing that, you know, at the back of a yearbook, in the back of a yearbook, you just list a bunch of in jokes with only like three people that are going to get it. You know, it's just a paragraph of nonstop stuff.

If you're on the yearbook committee. The peanut did what? And like soul searching. Is this an American thing? And like Taco Bell forever. You know what I mean? It's just a bunch of in jokes. The peanut did what? I feel. Soul searching. Taco Bell forever. You know what I mean? It's just a bunch of in jokes. But Peanut did what?

I feel. Soul searching Taco Bell forever. I feel like I have to ask, what was your yearbook quote? Oh, I mean, I didn't really have one except for, I was like, you know, most likely to succeed. You know, it was me and what's his name? His name was Bill Roblicky.

And he was most likely to succeed too because he was really funny we all thought he was going to be a stand-up um was he oh definitely somebody's stand-up most likely to succeed he teaches chemistry at the high school okay uh okay and so underneath i did mine was just broadway here I come. Oh, that's lovely. And did it come? Well, you know, I did go to Broadway. Did you? And saw many shows. Oh, I see. Well, how fun is that?

It is fun. It was real fun. It was fun. Were you there also? No, we did not go to high school together. Oh, I see. That's right. Again, remember where you went?

I went to that. It used to be a military school. Oh, yes. And then it wasn't anymore it used to be a military school oh yes and then it wasn't anymore it's just a public school right but it still was called uh george s patton military academy and then they just took the word academy off there so they just said george s patton military and then they painted the word school where the the the word academy used to be you could still see the outline of academy. Yeah. We didn't have senior quotes either.

No, but you didn't even have a football team. We did not have a football team. Oh, that's brutal. Yeah. It was brutal. We had the best football team in all of France at my high school. In all of France? Yeah.

And they played American football, not soccer. Yeah, and I was a varsity cheerleader in high school in France. Wow. What were some of the cheers that you would do? Well, so sort of the translation would be, and this is really rough. Yeah. Don't give us the original French. So our cheers would sort of be like, defense, let's go, let's win, defense.

So it would be stuff like that, which I don't know if that translates the same way. It's probably quite different from what you guys have over here. Let's win. Defense. Points, let's go. Let's win defense. Oh, now you had it. And points? Points was in there. Defense. Points, let's go. Let's win. Defense.

I think it's very bouncy. I really want to nail this. Defense. Points, let's go. Let's win. That's it. Did I get it? That's not quite it. Shoot. It was so close. It was defense. We got them. Points. Let's go. Let's win. Wait a minute. No, no, no. She's adding to that.

These words were not there before. I think we're not. Listen, I don't say this lightly. I think you guys are crazy. Now, I think that's the first time we have gotten that, Burns. I think it is. Can I ask really quick? So when did you two meet and then fall in love?

Because you two are married, right? No, we are not married. We are just friends. Because the chemistry. 48 hours. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. The chemistry.

It's never happened before. Oh, boy. But Joan is married to Doug, the voice you're hearing from Fear Alley. Happily married to the voice in Fear Alley. We call him the voice of Fear Alley. I like that. It's not to the voice in Fear Alley. We call him the voice of Fear Alley. I like that. It's not bad. It makes me less scared. It's not bad. It's pretty good. Oh, that's good. Yeah.

Warm it up. We want you to be less scared. Well, that is wonderful. And if you're happy, I'm happy for you. Well, thank you. Because now that I sort of now that I sort of know true love with Condé Marco, it really has sort of changed my perspective on things. Well, you see love everywhere you go.

Yeah, well, you're not going to believe this. I wasn't always the nicest person. Really? Yeah. Wow. So I feel like I have changed my perspective on the people around me recently. Even since your first husband?

Yeah, yeah, I think so. See, my first husband, I'm not afraid to say I'm married for the money. Oh, wow. Yeah, I think a lot of people are afraid to, um, I am not afraid to say I'm married for the money. Oh, wow. Yeah. I think a lot of people are afraid to say that and I'm not. How did he die? A tragic boating accident. Oh no. Not even a happy one. No. Really? Tragic boating accident. Do you mind telling us the details? Oh yeah, it was horrible. Drowned. Drowned on the boat.

Drowned on the boat. And it wasn't sinking? It wasn't sinking and they couldn't figure out where the water came from. It's like a locked door mystery. So it was like a cabin filled with water? Or what? Like an Agatha Christie. They couldn't figure out where the water came from. Well, I solved it. Ice block.

Ice block? Oh. And when they got to the hospital, it was tough because nobody could operate because his mom was the doctor. Wait, okay. So they couldn't figure out where the... Okay, so somehow there was an ice block. It melted and he drowned in it?

It melted and he drowned on it. He drowned on it. What they can assume is that he fell face down on the ice block. So he drowned. He drowned. It melted in his mouth and then he drowned on it. Sure. He drowned on it.

They rushed him to the hospital from the boat. Then it turns out he still had a chance, but then his mother could, it was the surgery could not operate on him. Well, and that really, you know, I'll say it and I'll say it again, that universal healthcare, terrible because there would have been another doctor there, but it was the only one

and it was his mom. Yeah. And he died. Wow. Well, that's a big statement to get into and, you know, but that is tragic for sure. It's mysterious.

Yeah. I don't know if I call it a boat. Well, I know. I don't want to get into that. Did they ever, was there any foul play suspected? Never. Not for me once.

That was a quick answer. I never suspected. Never. I never suspected foul play, not even once. And no one else did either? No, no, no. But what I'm asking is were the authorities okay? They came and they interviewed me and don't even i said don't worry about it i don't even you said don't worry there's no foul play never never cross my mind i don't think the question

ever is for for someone who married for money and then the murder spouse is deceased was their foul play suspected i don't know if you asked them first might just be a difference between french uh detective work in english and what i'll I'll say is I pride myself in being somewhat of an expert because I learned how to speak English for the most part watching CSI Miami. So I really do feel like I have a strong grasp on what is murder and what is not murder. You do talk a lot like, wow, what is that guy?

David Caruso. Oh, is that? Is that how it's pronounced? italian actor david caruso did not know that was a spot on italian accent that was pretty perfect well done burnt thank you well i love you know i love those spaghetti westerns yes but i put i put the sound i make the sound to be the original italian oh how fun it is funio Cain. Horatio Cain. Oh, that was the name of the character that David Caruso played. Yes. Oh, very good. Horatio, yes.

I know that listeners will- That was the name? Yes. Good Lord. Listeners will think- He was so cool. He was very cool. He put his sunglasses on.

He would make a little quip. Did he go to Las Vegas? Is that who I'm thinking of? There might have been a crossover. Okay. Because the original CSI was in Las Vegas. Right. If anyone can remember back that far.

The spin-offs. Where did Ice-T go? Was that in Miami? Law and Order. Law and Order. Ice-T went to Law and Order. Right. And that was set in New York City.

Right. And he was part of a squad that covered crimes that were particularly heinous. Oh, yes. That's what they say. Or especially heinous. I can't remember which one it is. It's probably not particularly because why would you put that in a voiceover?

It's hard to say. That is hard to say. Can I go again? Nope, go again. We should get rid of that. Particularly. Just get rid of the word in general. Particularly. Well, in French, there is no word for particularly, so I never say it. What do you say instead? Sometimes. Is that instead? Sometimes.

Is that right? No. Particularly, particularly, particularly. What do you think particularly means? Let's start there. On occasion? Nope. Well, so this is maybe just one of them.

Particularly means especially. Right. But wouldn't particularly, if you're like, oh, well, I'm coming over particularly for a birthday. I'm not sure that that. I'm not sure that that works. I'm coming home sometime for a birthday. Yeah. Particularly, I come over for a birthday.

I'm coming over to your house. You're gardening. But I'm particularly coming over for a birthday. I'm scratching my head to figure out this situation. I'm starting to lose a grip on what particularly means in real time. I gotta be honest. Oh, you and me both, Joan. I'm starting to wonder.

Also, who's birthday? I'm questioning everything. May I say something? Please. This woman then proceeds. Oh, the jogger. That's right. This woman, we then, so she's having the time of her life sort of mocking us and making a mockery.

And she's clearly a graduate. Let's go back. A clearly graduate of 97. Class of 97. 97 wasn't my year. Or she has access to a shirt from class of 97. That is true. It might not be her.

Well, and so as I sort of said, I have a background in detective work. And so we decided. I don't think you did say that at all. Not even particularly. If I, so let me just recap. I learned English watching. Oh, I did not do, I did not make the leap. I did not infer.

I have a background in detective work. Okay. So I decide we're going to get on the case here. This is a crime against me and my new husband, Cam DeMarco. Right. Unlike the non-crime that happened to my ex-husband. It was a non-crime.

Right. On the boat. So we decide we're going to do a little stakeout. We're going to figure this out. So at first I frantically, you know, we sort of, we watch her. We watch her then proceed to flip off. So you followed her?

We followed her. You followed her. Is it really following if somebody's wrong, do you? What a weird... It feels like a... What is it? A straw man argument's not the right word, but it feels like a legal trick,

which she just did to me. Is it begging the question? It's like saying... See, this is... Did your wife hate it when you hit her? It feels like one of those. Did your wife hate it when you hit her? How do you one of those. Did your wife hate it when you hit her? How do you answer that question is what I'm saying.

Entrapment. Is it murder if no one was there to watch? You know, it's who knows. So I 1000% agree. So we follow, we follow her consensually, of course. I don't think that's possible. That wasn't consensual. No, it's not.

Did you ask her, may we follow you? Yes. You couldn't have. Oh, you did. Explicitly, what we said was, we're going to get you back for this. She jogs off and we follow her. That's not. Oh, that's not consensual.

Particularly. Consensual. I see. I'm going to high five that. And so maybe this is just a thing where I, and now I'm happy to know this because this is a thing where I think in French, we just don't have the words for this. Or don't care. Or don't have the words for this or, well,

and Hey, that might be another thing. And so it's one of the things where we then followed her. Okay. So I followed her. We watch her do this to several other people. Oh, okay.

Just a quick pause to say that I know listeners will want to have this acknowledged. Yes. I did hear Doug say Poirot earlier. Did you say Poirot? Thank you so much. How do you say it? Listeners will want that.

I know people will be thinking, no one heard Doug say Poirot. I know. But I did hear it. It was a little while ago now, but I did hear it. Which one? The David Attenborough one or the new ones? No, no. David Attenborough.

Yeah, in France, David Attenborough played Poirot. Oh, really? Oh. So they got a French actor to play him for British television. And then they got David Attenborough. Not really an actor, but they had him play Poirot for French television. Well, Poirot's very, very different in France. Oh, is that so?

Yes. It's sort of an omnipotent David Attenborough. An impotent David Attenborough. An omnipotent David Attenborough. An omnipotent. Sorry. Omnipotent David Attenborough. Listen, this might be my chance to sort of do my accent for you

because I think it might be just tricky for a French person. Please. You're going for omnipotent, right? Is that where we're going for? Omnipotent. There it is. Omnipotent, yes. You nailed it. Yeah. Crushed it. Okay, great. So omnipotent there it is yes you nailed it yeah that was crushed it okay great so omnipotent david abinborough is peeping on animals and sort of describing what they're doing that's our version of oh wait poirot in france okay that's that's kind of what he does all the time oh i see yeah i don't i never just i never thought why do they call it Poirot in France?

I do not know. I can't tell you. I'll be there. Okay, well, that's interesting. And that feels like a mystery for all of us. What does the word Poirot mean in English? Nature? Yeah.

Okay, well, there you go. That's it. There you go. Yeah, so that's it. I never thought of him as peeping on animals. But I guess that is what he does. I know, but now it really... I mean, you think about it, he's speaking in a hushed tone.

He's spying on them. God, and sometimes they're doing it. Yes. And he's just sitting there in the reeds. A real perv. Do not get mad at me again. I'm allowed to say doing it. That is hardly, that's hardly racy in any way.

I can tell you're looking at me, even though I'm in a different. I am looking at you. It's like you are right here. I know what your face is doing. Joan is looking through the floor, through the carpeting of the hotel room. She knows exactly where it is. If I grab stuff out of the mini bar here, is that going to charge to somebody's card? It is.

Is that going to charge back to your card? It will absolutely. Please don't. Well, when you took the break earlier, you guys were doing, and it was so funny when I was, because I was sort of, well, I was sort of porrowing, French porrowing David Attenborough. Is that how you say it? You guys.

Porrow? Porrow? Is that how you say it? Porrow? Just let it go, babe. She doesn't really like it. that not how you say it? Paro. Just let it go, babe. She doesn't really like it. Well, that's what it is in France. That's how we say it in France.

So however you guys say it in the US. I'm embarrassed. Well, no, it's all right. Don't be embarrassed. I've been saying Paro. Could you please? Yeah, that would be incorrect. From where I'm from in France.

I'm concerned about the story you're about to tell. So while we were doing what now? Well, you were doing such funny bits and I was laughing my little butt off. I was going to say ass, but then I said, I can't say that. They'll climb down your throat for that. You'll be in so much trouble

for saying the word ass these two. Joan! You guys locked me in the bathroom while you were doing that and I got thirsty. Wait, accidentally? We locked you in the bathroom? No, I that and i got thirsty and we locked you in the bathroom no i did it on purpose oh why it's the waiting room how can it lock on the outside it does it he opened the door locked it on the inside and then closed so then wait you weren't really locked in the bathroom i it was a little brain teacher i said

the door was locked in the bathroom and i respected the fact that you locked it. I knew what you meant. What do we do a brain teacher for? Well, we've never done this before. This comes into play immediately because I did sort of sneak myself out and I was, you know, I was listening to you guys do your bits and your banter and it was really making me laugh. You just keep feeling like she doesn't really mean that when she says that.

No, I do. I genuinely do. I don't know if we were trying to be funny. You can't try to be funny. You just simply can't. It was the repartee, and it was really making me laugh. Repartee. It was the repartee you two were doing. It was really making me giggle.

And so what I did is I went, and I grabbed two of the Evian's that were on the counter. Oh, no, two! Those are the most expensive things! Oh, my God. And they put them out on the- Oh, it's like $26! Here, they trick you. They put them out on the counter.

Oh, yeah. A little thing. And they think like, oh, this is for me. Yes. And then it's like, it costs money. Yeah. They put like a little tag on it that almost looks like, oh, is this a little welcome thing? Exactly.

No, it's telling you how much it is. Yeah. Well, I read it and it said $7 per bottle. And one of them, I will say, I got scared. At least it wasn't $26. Well, I said, I got scared. Well, because that, well then, and what I did is I did go ahead and there was hennessy in there and so i did grab that also what a what a why did you even bother mentioning the water because i just well i the water was visible i mean i appreciate your

honesty i just so again if there's any way i can get you back for that you just let me know well are you are you a little uh inebriated right now no No, I poured it in the toilet. Why did you do that? Because I got scared. It's literally throwing away money. Well, here's what I'll say. So I did clog up the toilet a little bit. Oh, I see. And so I took off the tank lid.

I poured both of the bottles. And I poured both of the water in the tank lid. Well, I just thought everything is sweeter in French. A tank lid. Tank lid. Again, the accent is everything is sweeter in French. A tank lid. Tank lid. Again, the accent is starting to get a little bit offensive. Now, that wasn't too bad, I didn't think. What I'll say is I did pour, I poured both of those and that wasn't enough.

And so then I went back out and I grabbed the Hennessy and I poured that in and then it did flush. Oh, okay. So I'm sorry. Are you saying you used Hennessy to unclog a toilet? Well, I didn't know what else to do. I was like, that happens all the time at my house. So if this is some hack. There you go.

Some toilet hack, I want to know. Oh, sure. want to know oh sure hint from heloise do you remember that from the newspaper i think she's reacting to your accent but uh it's not like i said remind me because i did just we are in a hotel she's gonna live to the hotel that was no that was well it was heloise not heloise i I know. Okay. Oh my word. Listen it's starting to feel a little stuff and I can't help but feel that this is my fault. So what I'll say is we did we did stock this poor jogger for a little bit. Oh okay

the jogger. Okay fine let's get back to the jogger. We did stock this poor jogger for a little bit and we know she's poor because we watched her in Gelson's and is there Gelson's? Wow I find Gelson's pretty pricey. How could you go if you were poor? They're not going to last in Dignity Falls Gelson's. Gelson's? Wow, I find Gelson's pretty pricey. How could you go if you were poor? They're not going to last in Dignity Falls, Gelson's. Oh, I hope not.

Do you not think? Too much seaweed. Too much seaweed. On the olive bar, have you noticed that they cut it up and they've got lots of little seaweed pieces in the, what would they call it? To be honest, I don't like just the smell of olives sometimes. Just all those different olives. I like the taste of them, not the smell of them. No, thank you And I don't, to be honest, I don't like just the smell of olives sometimes. Just all those different olives. I like the taste of them, not the smell of them.

No, thank you. I don't like olives at all. I like some. And I can't believe they waste time by making a whole olive bar. I also don't like olives. And the fact that people

put juice of olives in stuff, doesn't make any sense to me. But you know what though? I do love olive oil. We don't have time for this. That is different. So wait, so she went into Gelson's,

but what, she couldn't buy anything? That's how you knew she was poor? Well, so she went to the olive bar, got it weighed at the counter where they sort of weigh it and they put the sticker on it

and then saw the price of it and then went and poured a couple of olives out and then went back to the bar and they put it over. I would pour the juice out. I would pour the oil out because I would think that would weigh more than the olives. And that would have been smart, but she...

Snart. It would have been smart, but she... Snart. It would have been smart, but she... That's a fun word. Sorry, I just really like it. Like if you're being a real smart ass, you can say,

like you're being like snooty and smart. Snart. Okay, well I'll let you have that and we'll call it even. How about that? Okay, I like that. She wasn't mad

about the word I said in English. I'm glad you reached... Well, that's like an English mess up. This doesn't... But this doesn't make us even... And again, you can't say make it even but by the way this does not make us even financially just so that you know that wasn't true that's not what you're doing i hope we'll discuss it later and agree to disagree

yes we will so she's at the olive bar when you're there your family it could so clearly olive bar when you're there your family they're being when you're it's tough if you're not there you're poor so then if you're their family if you're. When you're there, your family, they're being sued. It's tough. If you're not there, you're poor. So then. If you're there, your family,

if you're not there, you're poor. Was she able to purchase them at all? Well, yeah. When she poured some out, then she was able to purchase it. So yeah. Well,

that was a big part of the back of the shirt that she was wearing. Big part. So. of the shirt that she was wearing. Big part. You know how trucks say. Yeah, walk us through the back of the shirt. Just to review the whole front. Class of no, it says I am class.

I love class of 97. Been there, done that. Which also sounds like conflicting ideas. It's almost like she loves to be like, I love Class of 97. Been there, done that. Which also sounds like conflicting ideas. It's almost like she loves it, but then she's like, I'm over it. She gets over it very quickly. Then on the back, there's a bunch of writing like soul searching. Taco Bell forever. You know how those

long cars say this thing stops. Long cars. This thing stops. Particularly. Wait, what thing stops um particularly wait what thing stops long cars you know those long cars wait those long cars say this thing stops for stop sign oh okay but you mean this truck so when you're saying thing you're meaning this truck stops for stop signs which For stop signs, yes. Which is... I'm not sure that's how the sign goes. But I know that sometimes it'll say,

this truck makes wide turns. I know there's that. Right, right, right. Right? When flashing... Which I would probably put on the back of my shirt. You have to break when flashing for school buses. Those long yellow cars say,

this one stops... Long yellow... Oh, school bus. Long yellow car. What do you want to call it, Pat? Right. A long yellow... Yeah, here we call it a school bus.

A long yellow limousine. Well, in France, we call it a bus. So that's limousine Well in France we call it a bus So that's probably maybe where there's a bit of a It's not too far Well we call it a school bus Wait you just added school bus Before you said bus now you say they call it a school bus Right

What do they call it? A bus for schooling I don't know I feel like we're saying the exact same thing So on the back there's something about homies you were going to say so right so this is so you know how um you know how those there's those buses for school kids and they say this stops at the sign for stopping okay i'm just so not sure that that's how it worded but okay and so her shirt said this person will be stopping to pour one out for the homies really yes was the beginning of the shirt

and you followed her closely enough to you were able to read this when you were following her so we were we did to sort of put on we had hats in the back of the car and DeMarco gave me a quick haircut so I looked a little bit different oh wow that's so I'm so jealous how nice yes yeah we did have wigs.

I said, just give me a haircut quick. Yeah. Well, it wasn't. Well, it was quick. And then I had as well. And then I did put a hat on top of it. And why the hat's like a disguise? As a disguise.

Okay. We followed her into Gelson's. Uh-huh. She just, for the listeners, she used her fingers as feet, as legs and just walked right in. You can hear it. Yeah, that's it. Uh-huh. It's a very good dramatic reenactment.

It is. We scurried in behind her and then we stopped. Okay. Watched her. And so we had time to read her shirt at this point because the text was so small. So you straight up followed her, followed her. Like you are right behind her. Well, she did a couple of times.

She said, what are you two doing here? And I said. Oh, so she spotted you. You were found out. Well, yeah. And she said you two, so she, they, she spotted you. You were found out. Well, yeah. She said you two, like she recognized you.

That's also true. Oh yeah. Cause we'd been following all week, which is I think part of why she was. Yeah. Which I think is part of maybe why she said, roll down the window. And she was coming clearer.

So targeted attack. You have been, wait, no, she's saying that she, she's saying that they, they followed her for a week. And that is maybe why she flips them off.

That could be a part of it, I assume. Wait, I thought you were following her because she flipped you off. I know, but now she just said, well, we followed her for a week. Well, no, no, no, that's correct. I thought a week after the flip off. No, no, no. So here's what happened. We were following her.

She flipped us off. And because she flipped us off and it seemed like a targeted attack, we following her some more so it was one of those things where we were doing it and then we had a reason to do it i feel like targeted doing it and then we had a reason to do it yeah targeted attack is a strong we're getting completely off track here i think are we i'm just barely trying to get on the track i'm desperately trying to get on the track. I'm desperately trying to get on the track. Can I, can I clarify all this? I feel like I don't even care.

That was actually perfect. Wow. Correct. That was my really good effort. Okay. Go on. So, okay.

So here's what happened. My, I moved, I was born in France. Okay. I was going all the way back we have to my parents were aristocrats oh it really really there was an economy thing they got ousted oh no wow i hope not by le guillotin oh boy you're in so much trouble you are i mean like i can fly home

i'm so sorry i'm happy to fly home. I'm going to need a plane ticket. I'm happy to fly home. You're out of line. I'm out of line. I joined the military. Admiral class. Now, wait a minute. Army. Are there admirals in the army?

I thought that was Navy. I'm in the military in France. That was a big swing. Before you said French army. You remember you asked her if she was in the French army. And you said yes. Bombardiers. Well, I'm trying to military in France. That was a big swing that we took. You did, but before you said French Army. You remember? You asked her, were you in the French Army? And you said yes. Bombardiers.

Well, I'm trying to be agreeable. Bombardiers? Bombardiers. Oh, you too. I can't help it now. Oh my gosh. Now it's like church giggles. I think, can I join you in the void here?

Because I'm not liking the energy in this room. Come to the Furali. It's actually nice. Do we have time for me to head over there? I know that you're trying to set the record straight. You were born in France. You were an admiral. Then what happened? Then I meet my now deceased

husband. What was his name? Oh, okay. That's very French. Honestly, that is very French. Yeah, it really is. Martin was his name. Yeah. No, it was. Oh, I see.

I see. Martin. I bet that happened a lot to him. Just people never knowing if they were calling him were just having one thought. He was in boats. So the fact that he died on one was pretty. He was in the boat business. Yeah, he was in the boat business.

Heard of him? I have not. Well, to be honest, now I'm wondering if I have. Because how many times have I heard someone go, hmm, and they might have been talking about them. That's true. Well, if you've ever heard somebody say that on a boat, they likely were referring to him. He sort of, any boat you can think of.

Any boat you can think of. Any boat you can think of. Huge in the boat. What was the name of it? Sail. Yes. Row. Yes. Tug. Not as big in tug, but would do tug if it. Not as big in tug, but would do tug.

Careful. Can do tug. Just to be clear. Can do tug if it came on the sales floor. He absolutely could. On the sales floor. So wait, he would sell any kind of, he had a sales room filled

with any kind of boat you can imagine. He very rarely was on the sea. Mostly they would then sort of scoot scoot them out to the water. Was this a personal boat the craft that he was on that he lost his life accidentally on? Was that his boat?

Or was this someone else's boat or was it someone else's boat? It was someone else's boat. Okay. Mine. It was your boat. It was your boat. So it was essentially, okay, what was the name

of the boat? You know, boats always have names. So you were a married couple but you had individual boats. If he's a boat guy, then that tracks. There's probably boats

all over the place. It was a joke we often had because I bought my boat from someone else. Oh. So it sounds like more than a joke. That sounds like it was probably bad blood.

Some jealousy. Well, see, this is, it's so funny because you're starting to sound like the detective that was on the case. That's interesting. This is hilarious. No, but you know, we loved it. It was sort of a joke that we do is we'd go out to dinner.

Oh, you'd tell them at dinner parties and things like that. Yeah, and we'd go, yeah, he's with me because I'm an admiral in the army and I'm not going to call him out on all the oil he's dumping. I'm with him because he's wealthy and I'm going to kill him, is what I kept saying. Oh, so it was a bit that we would do. Multiple people heard you say this. Which is why I thought you two were paired, because of all the banter that you were doing.

And sort of you were yelling at each other at one point. I said, that's love, because that's sort of what we would do with each other. Oh, I see. But we did never threaten to kill each other. Definitely never happened. And it's one of those things where it's so hard because then when he died,

everyone looked at me and I had to clear the air by saying, wasn't me. And then it sort of, that sort of deflated everything. Because as soon as I said it wasn't me, then there was no way anybody could legally tie it to me.

Because if you're married, you can't have done it. In France? Is that how it works? Well, just in general. It's that rule of, you know, like if you're married to somebody, then you can't have legally be culpable. I bet the show Dateline is so frustrating in France. Dateline is so great in France. It's this

it's this tiny little guy with a crazy mustache. And he sort of gets people all together and he goes, who did it? And everybody goes, not me.

And then he figures it out. Wow. That is very different. Often they're in a room. That's very different. Then Dateline here. Yes. That is very different. Often they're in a room. That's very different. Then Dateline here? Yes. Really? Well, I would say so. Yeah, I think

so. Here it's a white-haired man who talks in such a strange way. Very strange. And seems to get very excited by crime in general. And when the plot thickens, seems to really, really get into it.

I see. Well, and it's interesting because that sort of feels like what CSI is like in... In France? In France. So, all right. Now, here's what I feel like everyone might be thinking. Yes.

Sure. I feel like you killed your husband. Me? Yes. Oh, Joan, I didn't think you were going to say it. Whoa. Listen, I'm just trying to get a chase. Babe. Oh, dear.

Okay, I'm going to need your credit card because I'm going to have to book a ticket home. I'm not the one doing it. Please, it's just starting to get juicy. I feel like he's Morrison. It's just your what? It's just starting to get juicy. What did you think I said? It's just our need to get juicy.'s just starting to get juicy. What did you think I said? It's just our need to get juicy. We just need to get juicy. Here, I'll crack open.

There's a pineapple juice in here. No, please don't. I opened it. I don't know what you want me to do. You can do it. Do you not want it? I don't want to pay for it. Right.

Okay. I'm going to pour it in the toilet. I'm so sorry. And then next time somebody tries to flush. You're not Canadian, are you? Me? By any chance? But pouring foodstuffs in the toilet.

Is that what Canadians do? That does happen in Canada, but I'm not Canadian. I'm French. They don't have a lot of garbage disposals up there. So often what will happen is you'll pour it. If you don't have a garburator, you just pour it in the toilet. Wow. Yeah, if you don't have a garburator.

Is that not a thing here? Yes, it's invented by Victor Garber. What do you call it? Well, it's called a garbage.... Yes, it's invented by Victor Garber. What do you call it? Well, it's called a garbage. Like a trash compactor? Well, not trash compactor. Garbage disposal. Disposal.

Thank you. Yes, disposal. I feel like I'm learning a lot today. I'm glad. Thank you. So, okay. You killed your husband and. I did not kill my husband.

And I said it so I can't be tried. I thought so too. But you know what? Also so interesting. She's very calm about being accused of it. So I don't really know. Well, that's it. I said it so I can't be tried. I thought so too, but you know what? Also so interesting, she's very calm about being accused of it. I don't really know what that means. I get it. I get it.

At least that helps me because you have to at least understand. You gotta get it. It seems like a cut and dry case. It does. Absolutely. You sound exactly like every single person investigated or watched it on the news or took that facebook poll all right thank you so i understand i truly do but here's the thing i can't believe we didn't miss this this sounds

like it was sort of a big deal i didn't do it and i couldn't have done it i know but if it was facebook i don't know sometimes french facebook sure on french facebook it was Facebook, I don't know. Sometimes French Facebook. Sure. On French Facebook, it was a really big deal, but I couldn't have done it because because somebody's name. Oh, boy. Somebody's mother once said that I have the I've got three kids and they're all with me at home. It's North. Oh, no, not this one.

North, South and Suzanne. And so then so we were all home. Oh, jeez. Do you know what my other brother's name is? It's somebody, okay? And that's it. It's somebody, Susan. You get it.

And people, please stop posting this nonsense. Do you remember Somebody Susan with Brooke Shields? Was it? It was. I love that show. So good. So good. I preferred Suddenly Susan. I preferred Suddenly Susan.

Suddenly Susan. And so maybe you are getting the French channel because for us it was. Maybe I am. For us it was Something Susan as well. Yes. And it was this stand-up comedian and his three friends. Yes. The one guy who would always just barge into the apartment.

Barge into the apartment. Yeah. Somebody Susan. Yeah. Somebody Susan. And so that was my brother Somebody and then me apartment. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody Susan. Yeah. Yeah. And so that, and so that was my brother, somebody, and then me,

Susan. Okay. So, so, and that's, and that's your motive. I mean, that's your alibi. Sorry.

What is it? I was at home. So your reason for not killing him is because of your brother. Somebody is because I was at home with my brother, somebody. Okay. And North and South and me, Susan.

Okay. We were all at home at the time. Right. And the door was somebody, and North and South and me, Susan. Okay. We were all at home at the time. Right. And the door was locked from the inside and all there was was a mirror and a saw. And so there was no way that we could have escaped. It's because there was a room with no windows and no doors. And all there was in the room with me and my siblings and my mother was a mirror and a saw. In this room, was there a bag of grain,

a fox, and a chicken? How did you know? This sounds familiar to me. So you follow the jogger for a week. We follow the jogger for a week. Because here's the thing. I've learned all of my English from CSI Miami. It's just sometimes for fun. And this is sort of something

that me and Condom Marco will do for fun is we'll sort of just sort of pick somebody at random we'll follow them just to sort of get in the head of like what if somebody so this had nothing did this have anything to do with the jogger flipping you off well so the jogger i guess sort of noticed well i guess i could think about it off prior to you following we need to nail down the timeline we really do yeah maybe so i guess now if i'm thinking about it it's so funny that you say that because i guess you she sort of maybe not flipped us off directly but sort of had noticed maybe us following her and had maybe come up to us and said like are you following me

and we sort of came up to her and was like us i don't think so but we were and that was a lie and i'm i'm see listen if i get caught i'm fine saying it which is how you know i didn't kill my husband right it's because if i got caught killing my husband i would just say it right you know what i mean so she caught us she caught us no go on are you talking about my ex no i'm sorry sorry you thought i was saying do you call a dead husband an ex-husband we don't usually hear we just yeah i don't i mean you could that. Yeah, I don't talk about it. I suppose. You could. Well, I am. Okay.

My ex-husband. And that's mostly because he tried divorcing me right before we got. He tried to what? Oh, did I not mention that earlier? We were in divorce proceedings. Oh, I see. No, you did not mention that. Well, did you?

You might have. Anyways, it was all eclipsed by the fact that you then said that he was dead. And it seemed quite apparent that you might have had something to do with it. Because you said it was a tragic boat accident. No, I didn't. Well, see, I was so distraught because he was trying to leave my ass. So I really, it was one of those. So it was one of those things where I.

And it had nothing to do with. Did you end up. That's why I went home. I mean, not like it's any of my business. But did you end up having sort of a real big windfall financially after he died. Are you saying did I inherit all of his money? Yes. No.

Only most of it. Okay. Which, again, you'd think that she'd... But here's the thing. I have an alibi. My mother and all of my siblings. Right. No, I know.

You mentioned that. The fox, the great. The fox, the great, the mirror, the saw. North, south. What's up, buddy? What's up, buddy? Susan. I i mean i guess it all adds up but it's really tough you can't ask any of them because they're deceased oh your your whole family is deceased when did this happen right after my husband died and people started asking them well no people started asking them for my alibi and then unfortunately all of them passed away.

Boy, I am getting creeped out. Now it's Feralian here, Doug. It's so scary. No, it's not Feralian here. Here, have a bag of chips. No, wait, now I don't want anything. When you take things off of the sensors. It's only $7.

Keep your finger on the sensor. That doesn't always work, Doug. It doesn't always work. It does if you stay there. Well, eventually you have to close the... Eventually you have to on the sensor. That doesn't always work, Doug. It doesn't always work. It does if you stay there. Well, eventually you have to close the... Eventually you have to leave the room. Somebody else's finger has to take over. Oh my gosh.

I feel like we're getting so off track. No, you trade with someone else. What about just putting a rock or a different bottle? How do you know rock? Oh, I always try. I never go check into a hotel without my mini bar. Your rock sensors. Yeah.

That's really smart. Can I write that down? Can I use that? Yes, please. I wish you would. With my compliments. Well, wonderful. I feel like we're getting deeply off track here.

I just think we're getting very close to the truth. And this is what's becoming uncomfortable. So, Bernd, I don't know. But here's the issue. I don't know. Okay. Is that this woman flipped me and my. Here's the issue. Is that this woman flipped me and my husband off

in the car. Yes, because you were following her for a week. Well, sure, but it is unbecoming to flip somebody off. In our town? Okay, but if it's unprovoked, but I believe she was provoked. Let's get to the other part of your post, because you did say

that you get let's get to the other part of your of your post because you did say um that uh you you saw later that day sure uh you saw her flipping off every single car every single car that passed which was our car going back and forth oh my god oh that's so what i will say even think we were sort of trying to well she's smart so we were sort of trying to we were trying to speed up and go and you mean the hat didn't work as a disguise. And it was crazy because we would sort of he'd give me another trim and we put on different hats. Oh, that's why you're almost. Yeah. OK, you're wearing that wig. I was wondering. I feel like we could say no. I thought maybe there was like an illness or something.

Well, nobody commented on my haircut, but yes, I do have almost no hair. You have very little left. We just trim a little bit every time we were trying to trick her. And it really was. And so this is making us sound scary and creepy. Yes, for sure.

I feel like right now we're coming off scary and creepy. Let me ease your mind, okay? Okay. It wasn't. It really wasn't. Don't feel eased. It really wasn't. It really wasn't. And want to know why?

Because DeMarco and I were having so much fun. Wow. That just makes it so much worse. We were just having a ball. And listen, I think if motives are bad, sure. And I know a lot of people go, oh, well, it doesn't matter the motive. If somebody was feeling scared or creeped out, then it doesn't matter. and i'm here to let you know we were having the time of our lives all three of us so then why so then why go on to the app then and and post in at all about how

annoying and awful this was if you were having the time of your life you're posting this and you're saying what does anyone know what the story is with this we were having the time of our lives until we started getting flipped off and then it just became that sounds like the majority of the time you were getting flipped off all week we were having a blast it's sort of you know she would be laughing watching tv we'd laugh because she was having fun and we were having fun watching her have fun you know what i'm saying i think a lot of times people throw out that word. Why again? Why did you start following this person?

I know. I've lost that. Because this is a thing you routinely do is like you pick a person to follow. That's what it sounds like. Well, we routinely pick this woman and follow her. Oh, it's always her. This is. Yes, yes.

Well, and here's why. Because, and can I say something? She posted something really horrible on Facebook. Oh boy. About being sure that this crazy, she said this crazy person in France killed their husband and is now in our town. So she somehow knew about you.

Well, yeah. She had followed your story. Well, DeMarco and I met when I was in prison briefly in France. Okay, I'm sorry. What? Well, yeah. You definitely skipped that part, Susan. Did I?

You really did. Okay, so remind me. I mentioned i got dishonorably discharged from the military you did not mention that did i not say this didn't come up when i was being held for murder for my husband no no and then it was a big misunderstanding you just simply said absolutely nobody nobody can say that i did it well nobody can say that i right but clearly somebody did many people people did. And you were incarcerated. Are you saying it was a big misunderstanding that you went to jail for murder?

A massive misunderstanding that I went to jail for six years for murder. Six years. That's not bad. How did you get out? I can think of a few people I'd kill for six years.

Double jeopardy. Wow, Burns. That's a spell. I was watching a lot of CSI in the... Oh, you learned all the terms.

And so I learned all of the terms. I made my case and I said, literally, if he's my husband, I can't be tried for the crime. If I've already been tried for the crime. Uh-huh. Okay. Does that make sense? Well, none of this makes sense. So you were tried almost twice for this crime?

No, I was tried twice for this crime no i was tried twice for the crime the first time they tried me um and i was able to get off uh and then they tried me again they said that there was new evidence there actually wasn't new evidence and you said you can't and so i said you can't do that because it's double jeopardy uh and so i literally i didn't do it is uh it still doesn't necessarily mean you didn't do it but um because i still think you did it so that's really interesting. Will that hold up in a court of law? Yeah, I feel confident in saying you killed your husband.

Why? What evidence do you have? Doug, what do you- Everything you've said to us? Everything. Everything that I've said to you? Everything that I've said to you is evidence? We don't want to get her angry.

You don't need evidence to think something. That's true. I flew here, business class, racked up a $12,000 bill on a $10,000 bill. How did it get to $12,000? The kindness of my heart. Oh my God.

Well, I upgraded myself. What were those snacks? You upgraded to first? Yeah. And they said, they said, they said, there's a seat up here.

You don't even have to upgrade. And I said, no, no, no. Charge me what you would charge me for a full round trip ticket because you work too hard. Because I spend time in the salon now. I know what the service industry looks like for snacks and

tips on top of that. Yeah, I had to. All right. Well, Susan, I think we have to stop because this is costing me money literally every minute. Okay, so we just need to I need to stop the bleeding feeling. Okay, massages. I ordered us massages. Oh, no.

They said there was a credit card on file already. We didn't even we're not doing the massages. Oh, no. They said there was a credit card on file already. We didn't even need to pay for it. We are not doing the massages. We are so... Our card is almost maxed out. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know. This is like...

I need to call and cancel it is what I need to do. I can't believe all these... This is the swankiest Hampton Inn I've ever stayed in. It has all these services. It's really not... You just got to know who to ask. They don't typically have these services. You go off menu.

All right, well, listen. Somebody at the front desk is going to be giving those massages. Don't worry. We're paying them very well. Susan, before we push you out of the room, what would you like to say? Is there anything you'd like to say to this woman that you've besmirched on the neighbor app? Yes, absolutely.

And so I just take it. You guys are saying right now that you're like very pro this person. I don't know. I listen. I don't want to take it. I does sound like it sounds like she was targeted and was the target, not the other way around. Yes. Well, I guess if you guys are so pro this person. All right. Fine. I guess I'll apologize. Casey Anthony I'm going to go ahead and apologize to you right now I guess I'm sorry that we followed you and that it was I guess inappropriate

it seems like you got a lot of fans here on this pod okay I'm going to apologize for following you it seems like you were having fun with it and I had no idea can I say one thing please She really set us up there. And I had no idea that she lives in this.

Oh, sure. Yes, please. Bleh. Bleh. Are you saying blue in a French accent? Or are you being Dracula? I thought that was a ghost. And so I wasn't going to get mad about it.

And now I feel like I should be offended by it. What were you saying? Bleh. Like blue cheeks? Like bleh? Isn't that French? Bleh. B-L-E-U. Is that what you're saying?

I don't know how to spell it. Would you like to know how we say it in France? Blue. That can't be right. That can't be right. That's how Horatio... What was his last name? Cain. Cain says it. I just...

And that's why you think it's what they say in France. I completely forgot that it was okay okay well i guess i have one question then boy am i problematic you are you are and you're not even a you're not even a fave you're just problematic not even fun problematic oh that's really tough not even fun problematic sometimes we've had that on here we It takes all kinds, except this one. I don't know. I don't know. This is truly problematic. You're truly problematic. Yikes.

I am $12,000 in the hole. Okay. So I guess. I wouldn't even put that at number one. Well, then I guess. This person's a murderer. In my own personal life. I'm not a murderer.

I said I didn't do it. And I said, oops. So you killed your husband in cold blood and you owe me a lot of money. So best of luck to you, as I always say to all of our guests. Best of luck to you. And please leave. Yeah.

You always say that to your guests. We always do. Okay, well. Just the first part. Then I guess on the way out, I'll say, I'm sorry. On the way out, I'm just going to say sorry.

Yes, she did make an adorable face, but it's not going to fool me. The lower lip came out. Lower lip. Yeah. It's not going to fool me. Lower lip came out. Lower lip. Yeah. It's not going to fool me. All right. She's doing it. All right. Off you go. All right. Well, more when the neighbor listen returns. This was fun. Bye.

Cookbook. $8. All kinds of good cookbooks. I know I just said cookbook, but actually I have a lot of cookbooks. All kinds of good cookbooks. Ice cream cookbook, Halloween cookbook, sauce cookbook, Christmas cookbook, best love recipe, secret restaurant recipe, many, many. Now I stopped there because I actually passed out when I was first typing this because I was going through the Halloween cookbook, and let me tell you all, there are some terrifying recipes in there. If you look at the picture, first of all, in this post,

it's a terrifying witch made from raspberries and green frosting, but it's terrifying. But the one that really made me pass that was the exorcist recipe, which is just made from carving a face in a burnt potato. And let me tell you, the picture just knocked the wind out of me. And you wouldn't believe that there's an ice cream cookbook, but it really is. It's the biggest one that I own. What's funny is you don't cook at all when you're making ice cream. You know what I mean? Many, many.

And welcome back to The Neighborhood Listen. Well, that was chilling, Joan. That's the word for it. I honestly think that she's probably killed, not once, but many times. Absolutely. For sure. Makes me question doing this podcast where I invite these people into my home.

Because now, I mean, in this case, I'm in a hotel room. Thank God. How could we know? How could we know? It seems so simple. Well, I know. I really wanted to hear about this lady that was flipping people off. But now it's just Susan and DeMarco.

Should we worry about his health and safety? I'm not sure. I don't. I feel like they deserve each other. Everything I've heard. I don't know. Salon is very successful. Now we can say it.

Salon, Salon, Salon. We can do as much French pronunciation as we want. Bon appétit. Salon. Bleu.

Is that what you were going for? Bleu. Bleu. Bleu. That just kind of sounds like you're a lazy vampire. Bleu. Bleu. Bleu. Did Dracula ever say that? I know. Did he, That just kind of sounds like you're a lazy vampire. Did Dracula ever say that?

I know. Did he ever? He must have said it somewhere. Did he ever announce his intention? I want to suck your blood. Where do we get that? Where does that come from? Why would you warn someone like that?

Also, are you saying Dracula just walked around saying blue? Oh, could have been. Blue. Blue. Blue. Blue. Also, are you saying Dracula just walked around saying blue? Oh, could have been. Blue. Oh, Dracula. Oh, Dracula. You nut. Well, we always do one more post. Dracula. This one comes from Frank and there's a picture.

Oh, yes. All right. So we have one final post. Is that okay, Bert? Did I do that? Yes, absolutely. You just launched right in. We So we have one final post. Is that okay, Bert? Should I do that? Yes, absolutely. I just, I just, you just launched right in. We do, we have time for one more post from the NeighborHap and here it goes. Oh, and also, if you want to send us posts, if you want to send us posts that we may have missed from the NeighborHap, do a screenshot and send it to us at burntandjoneatgmail.com.

So this is a picture that Frank posts. It's of what looks like a really badly burned steak on some rice. It does not look appetizing, I'm going to be honest. Okay, thank you for your candor. It says, my son just presented me with this absolutely amazing spiky

spiky, sorry. Spiky? I looked up when I thought I could. My son just presented me with this absolutely amazing spicy steak and rice he calls it tectonic steak because i guess the rice is supposed to resemble the magma under the tectonic plates and the steak is supposed to be the plates even though it's also on a plate if If anyone is interested, please PM me for the recipe. Would you ever want the recipe for that? Even the rice looks burned.

It looks awful. It's supposed to be magma burnt. This food looks like it was found somewhere. Yes, it does. Or it looks like play food, like fake toy food. Although you know what? I have not eaten lunch yet and it's actually making me hungry.

You're kidding. I swear. Why didn't you eat lunch again? You need to remember to eat lunch. I just really do. I just have never seen a post like this before. I listen. I'm really glad that Frank is so proud of his kid.

I like imagining that the kid is like seven. Yeah. But what if the kid is like 45? That's interesting. It could be. 45. Yeah. Because maybe this is the first time Frank has been proud.

Right. You know. Oh, that's bleak. So this, how old is Frank? 70? Yeah, about. And then his 45-year-old son, this is the first time he's proud of him is he makes this shit meal.

Frank takes a picture of it and posts it online. I mean, I suppose that's possible. I suppose that's possible. I mean, I don't, I'm very curious to know if anyone would PM him for the recipe. I know we don't get into comments. It seems to just be meat on top of some rice. Yeah, like what would the recipe be? I think I for the recipe. I know we don't get into comments. It seems to just be meat on top of some rice. I think I have the recipe.

Well, because it's called spicy steak. But I mean, you're just naming something. You're just grabbing something from the old spice rack and just sprinkling it on there. It's some leathery steak on top of some burnt rice. Listen, Frank, we don't mean to diss on your son, but this one just sort of some burnt rice. All right.

Frank, we don't mean to diss on your son, but this one just sort of. If he is a child. Now, if he's a child, this is adorable. Great job. Great job. Now the dog has brought a chew toy into the room. Where did he get it? Also, I just think wood floors in a hotel are a terrible idea.

Yeah, me too. Well, you know what that sound means. It's time for us to wrap it up so uh thank you all for listening be sure to follow us on instagram at the neighborhood listen and where we post pictures of the he the post that we read on the podcast and we will see you next time on listen and until then, bye. And bye. All of the posts used in this episode were real.

Only some geographical specifics have been changed. The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins. And me, Nicole Parker. And me, Brett Morris. This episode's guest was played by Vic Michaelis. The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang World. Go to cbbworld.com to unlock the entire history of the show, ad-free, as well as brand new full-length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maximus subscribers. Your support keeps the show going.