The Neighborhood Listen - The Strider Bike Fugitive with Waleed Mansour

Episode Date: December 9, 2025

This week in Dignity Falls, Burnt tries out a new voice, Joan gives an update on a neighbor's lighting display, and Doug builds a shop for the kids. Later, they welcome Omar (Waleed Mansour), who stops by to address stealing a kid’s Strider bike.Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for the Maximus plan to unlock this episode and ALL seasons of The Neighborhood Listen ad-free, as well as full length exclusive BONUS ROOM episodes adventuring deeper into Dignity Falls!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website. Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad-free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of the bonus room, go to CBBWorld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership. And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. Knock, knock.

Who's there? Your neighbor. Good. In Dignity Falls, you're never alone. You've got the neighbor half app and us. Burn. And Jode. From coyotes to mail theft to weird things to sell.

We'll cover it all. And meet new neighbors as well. We'll chat about any posts you're missing. So just tune in to the neighborhood listen. Welcome to the neighborhood listen. This is the podcast that explores the neighborhood of Dignity Falls. through the eyes of its residents. I want such resident.

My name has burnt me a payday. I'm the pharmacist and chief of the Digny Falls, but see here at Dirty Falls and with me as always is. I mean, I'm Joan pedestrian, but I don't know who the person across from the Kitchen Island is. It's me, burnt.

It's me burnt. Are you there, God? I have never heard you talk. talk like that, Burt. Are you trying on a new sort of persona? Is this going to be through the whole episode or... Well, not now. Now that I've been made extremely self-conscious, I like it.

Doug, thank you. Doug loves it. I'm not saying I didn't like it. I was just surprised. You know who it reminded me of? It reminded me of Patty Higginbottom, who, of course, does the late-night love tributes on a, on FM at, at, at, on, on, on, on, um, on Shore 108.5. That's right.

And she's got this. Love songs on the shore. Love songs on the shore and she's got that voice. It's very soothing. Well, I'm a big fan. You are. She does love dedications of the love damnations where people say I just broke up with someone. I would like you to send this song out to them.

And then it's just the most hateful song you can imagine. But she'll still read the damnation like really sweet. You are sent to me from hell. And this is the biggest regret I've ever had. Worst choice I ever made. And that's what he thinks about you, Dennis. This is from Joni who wants you to rot in hell and hopes you never know a moment's piece.

You know what? It's weird about those sort of long-term DJs. I just feel like they're immortal in a weird way. I don't understand how they've just kept going. I mean, she's been doing this for like upwards of 40 years. Oh, yeah, at least. But they don't sound like they age at all. No, they sound like exactly.

Do you think they've just done it for so long that eventually they can just piece it together? Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? They've said everything. And this is not them we're hearing. Well, they could just like Frank can sign it together. It's what the car guys do.

Yeah. What's sorry? What, babe? You know the car guys show? Oh, yes, the car guys show. I don't listen to it, obviously, but Doug does sometimes. They're clonk and thud, and they're the car guys. The whole thing is they don't know anything about cars.

So people call it and they say, yeah, I have this problem. And they go, what do you expect us to do about it? But people love the interactions. They love the interaction. They love the interaction. You know, they basically just roast you for not knowing anything about cars. Because they'll talk for a while by themselves and people enjoy that part.

And then when the callers call in, their response is always like, go talk to a mechanic. And you know what they do basically also? They're like, and you know, the problem with the car, and they just start yelling, what is a car, what is a car?

What is a car? What is a car? No, but what is a car? And you can't even get a word in edgewise, so it ends up making it sound like they're winning. They're like the gun nuts with what if you say AR-15. And you have to know exactly what that is. Or you can't talk about.

If you don't come a source of knowledge, you're going to just spit that trivia right back at you. They got stats. They don't know anything about the cars. They've just memorized all the stats. That's right. Which is they're so close to helping people. I love those guys.

Absolutely. I know you do. I love those guys. They're fun. But it's interesting about Patty because I kind of, as a local, I haven't said who I am yet. So I guess I'll do that now. Great idea. I'm Joan Pedestrian.

The top realtor here and top local actor. I've added top to the phrase, to the title. And I guess because of that fact that I am, I like to consider myself an artist, I'm a vocalist of sorts, that I'm really interested in how she keeps her vocalist of sort. Do you mean you're a singer? I'm a singer. I think vocalist sometimes sort of elevates the phrase, meaning that it's, I have sort of more technical knowledge, you know. I think it just makes it sound more fancy. I've never questioned it. It's a fancier way of saying singer, I think, of vocalist, you know. So you're, but you're, you're widening out the umbrella to encompass people. who don't necessarily sing, but do something with their voice.

Oh, absolutely. Because, you know, if you think of like a voiceover artist or someone who does, you know, mostly like radio commercials, they're all, they're all vocalists. Jigsaw? Does he count?

I would not call him a vocalist. I'd call him a terrorist. Are you kidding me? He's a monster. I am not going to give him the title of vocalists. Absolutely not. You know I hate those movies. You know I hate all those kinds of movies.

He's like torture porn. Stop it. That does a good jigsaw. In this room, you'll find three corpses. One of them has a poem in their pocket. Poem. Oh, what? A poem.

I don't know. I'm no jigsaw. Oh, thank God. But I just, I would love to maybe sit down with her and just see, like, what are, you know, anyone who uses her voice that much for her job, they're going to have all sorts of different tinctures and teas and, and, you know, lozenges and things that they probably. use... Gargles. Secrets, gargles. Secrets and gargles. Secrets and gargles. Well, I'm in, and I'm, of course, I'm not talking about the shop, secrets and gargles in town. No, that place, I can't believe it's still open.

Because you go in, you can buy the gargles. And they say, what are the secrets? And they say, well, now if I told you that. And it's like, well, are you selling secret? Do you have secret things for sale? You have secrets for sale. Because they do have a beaded curtain that no one's allowed behind. No one goes back there. They say, unless you know what's back there, you can't go back there. But it's just a bunch of bottles of different gargles that you can sort of have, you know, either for like sore throats or whatever. And then they have goggles you could put it on to have to take the gargles. Yeah. Gaggles and gargle goggles. Yeah, gargles. Yeah, gargles goggles. Yeah. It's hard to say.

It's hard to say it. And then they laugh at you. There's all those TikToks of people trying to say it, you know, in this, in the, in the store. That's why they're so popular. That's why they, oh, absolutely. TikTok made them. It's the influencers. Put them on 100%. Everyone comes here to go to, to go to Secrets and Gargars. Everyone comes here. Anyways, back to Patty. JoJo C-Wab, yes. I just, I'm fascinated by people like that who just done vocalizing for years.

Like there's a woman, do you know that there's a woman, there's actually, she has a name, of course she does. Her name is Lisa Gerard. Have you ever heard that name? No. This is real. You know, she does all. Why would I assume otherwise? You know there's movies, specifically Gladiator or any movie where there's something like in an old-timey, whether it's Roman or

a different country and there's a woman going Oh yeah Her name is Lisa Gerard And she's the one to go out of here Who's like Oh la la la Did she do Avatar too? I believe so

She's used all the time by like Hans Zimmer And you know what? She looks exactly like she sounds Like she's dead She's floating Doesn't she sound like she's dead? She's like that lady In the Haunted Magic going

Come back That's what she looks like She's got gray silver hair That seems to be in motion Her name is Lisa Gerard Look her up, it's real And she's always wearing black And she's like standing with symphonies

And singing that, you know She's, what a fun specific job, right? I want to just do that I just want to sing I just want to sing while a man walks Through a wheat field, you know? She does look exactly like she said. Right, she looks exactly like she sounds.

Okay. Right? Okay, her hair is sort of mummified. Her hair is mummified. There's one picture where it looks like she has a sort of, like she has sort of a beehive hair view kind of. Oh, now there she got sassy. She got the Adele.

But then this one looks like she's wearing a thing to mimic her own hair. See, this is not that. You're looking at the wrong pictures, burnt. See, MamaFine. Oh, I'm so sorry. Send me the picture you have. I apologize, John. I'm just, I'm seeing all these.

Yeah, she's got the longer hair. Oh, I guess in her older age, yes, there she is. Look at her. She's not. Is she living? She looks, she does look very AI. And, you know, a lot of times her hair used to be purmed,

but I'm realizing I have not laid eyes on her in a couple decades. That's her. She's like, what are you going to do? I'm dead. What are you going to do? I almost sang. You almost did. I was sort of like moaning.

Yes, that's right. Which is so close to singing. It is so close to singing. Very good, because normally you only sing one note and then maybe a second note. Was that really very good? It did sound like your Santa. No, Santa sounds like this. He does not.

That's not him. Nope. Honestly, if they're. Byrne, if there are children listening, you're going to scare them. It's getting further and further away. It's getting further away. I don't know what you're talking about. He goes, ho, ho, ho.

Merry Christmas. That's what I just did. That is not what you did. No. You sound, what if Jigsaw said it. Oh, Merry Christmas. That kind of sounded like Kenny Rogers. Did it really?

It sounded more like a country star and less like a Jikz. You have a three hours. do you know I have not seen a single saw movie and I refuse no why do I mean I don't want to carry Elvis on the bottom of a bathroom floor you know what I like to say what see saw you do like to say that like oh that's what the fans are called right if you if you love saw your seesaws because you've seen all the saws is that true that's true but see saw is more of a command oh what does that mean see saw oh you mean like and then that's you walk out, you say, saw?

Seen. Hashtags saw seen. Hashtags saw seen. Hey, what, um, oh, the hashtags all seen. What, uh, what are you doing, babe today? You're in it. Babe, of course, refers to Doug our engineer. Of course, of course.

And he's in a different room every week. And you made it very clear last year that last year, I'm sorry, that's my, as I've explained, I'm renaming my premonopause as feminine overdrive. That's right. But sometimes it still gets the better of me. And it did just then. We all heard it. We all heard it.

We all heard it. Baby, you made it clear it last week that these rooms are not things you're just happening to always build every time we record. I guess you have multiple. Do you mean to say you have multiple rooms like in different various stages of construction? Yes. Does that be fair to say? Yeah. I think you know this June.

Because I stopped knowing. I'm sorry. You call me June. Whoa. Sorry. I almost said. I almost called you... You're going to be in the dughouse.

There you go. In construction. No. The dugout. That's different. Dugout. Yes, he does have a dugout. Is that where you are?

No. Okay. I like to call you Joan Bug. He does. It's really sweet. I love it. I almost said Junebug, which is the source of the John Bug. Why don't you call him Joan Dug?

Usually it's not a sweet. though, when she says it. We basically already did that when he married me. He took my name. Oh, that's true. That's true. I'm in, um, since the, it's the holiday season. Mm-hmm.

So what do you do? Oh, Jack, it's just too fast. Couldn't get there soon enough. It's not a build a bear exactly. Oh, boy. So what is it exactly? Tear down a bear? We don't want to hear, babe, we don't hear what it's not.

We want to hear what it actually is. Joan, I couldn't agree more. Thank you. What is a car? People have spoken. I'm trying to identify the animal that you're building because I'm trying, it's kind of like a naked mole rat. Wait, what?

So wait, you're supposed to guess what the animal is? No, it's just, I guess it looks closest to a naked mole rat. Do you know what? I'm trying to make the nice stuffed animal for the kids. You know what you should do? Have you heard of this? You should do build an axelotel. Do you know how big axelotles are with kids?

And also just like in general. I'll say TikTok is just wonders. Because of the name? You know what? I became my grandmother. You became fogghorn, leghorn. I say, I say. I'll say.

It's an axolado boy. I'll say. Secrets and gargles. Secrets and gargles. And axolottles have just, I mean, exploded because of the internet. Why? It's true. People love axelotles.

I think because they can grow multiple limbs. They look, they're so non-threatening. They're so different and sweet. That sounds threatening to me. You want to protect them immediately because they have no, they have, it doesn't look, they have defense mechanisms, they're see-through, and they've got these cute little arms sticking out of their head, and people just love them. Sounds monsters.

Yeah. A little nightmare. Oh, they're only this big. And you know that they're just a salamander. Gieramo del Toro design this thing? There's just a salamander in arrested development. That's all they are. And I think build an axolotl would 100% do good business.

That's what you should do, babe. I think it's got to be a different material. It can't be so fuzzy. Oh, no. People make tons of fuzzy axelotles. Oh, they're everywhere. Okay. Yeah, I think you should do it. For now. Oh, Bert does not care for the face you made. I don't like, you don't think they're cute. Oh, they have a little face that's just like, pick me. I think naked mole rat's pretty cute. Naked mole rat is not cute. Okay, I'm good. Have you looked at a naked mole rat? No one wants that. No one's like filming a naked mole rat and trying to make a movie or a book about it. No, there's books about axelotles. There are. There's one. There's one. that I bought my twin boys.

Don't get her started. I bought my twin boys because as they started to read, because they repeated kindergarten, or actually finished kindergarten, I should say, at home with the teacher. Of course, I'm talking about my twin boys, Matt, and Popp and Fresh. And Popp and Fresh.

I read Matt and Popp and Fresh a lot of books, and there's this one called Axelotto, and you know what it is. It's like, here's a picture. The book is just called Axelotto. Okay, well, but here's the joke, right? So inside you turn the page. And like maybe there's like a picture of,

here's something funny about this book, actually. It's a real book. so it might just say like it might have an a salado with a backpack and it says backpack solado right it's like that I knew you were going to be angry

and then you turn the page again and then can you think of one I bet you it's in the book can you do one it's fun they're fun to do heart attacks a lotto no I can hurt although you know

this gets me to my point let's just skip head do you know what is in there Faxiladole machine what's in there and this is real one of the pages there's a guy babe can you give me one second i'm on fire i know you're loving this you are on fire it cannot be denied you are on fire but get the next one in the chamber and my axolato

i'm sorry was that brian cox from succession no oh was gymley the dwarf i'm sorry why are you guys so angry babe i taught you by johnries davies i'm sorry i forgot who that was actually very tall he's actually very tall i'm sorry i'm not in You know what you're not talking about. Anyways, okay. Whatever you're going to say next, just hold it, okay? You turn the page and there's literally an axolotel in a little car. But then there's another axolotel literally in a mask.

And it says hijacksalotle. And I am not kidding. How do they? What are we doing? I am not kidding you. What are we doing? It is ridiculous. First of all, that's carjaxalotel.

I mean, I do have that problem. It would be a car jacelotelot. But it just. This is hijacked a lotto. This is a book for children. This is a book for children. And they put that in there. Now, why didn't they go with turbotaxilotle or faxolotl?

Now, what was your third one, babe? Because I know you were really cooking. Sandy co-faxilotle. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. I'm on fire. And you said heart attacks al-a-lottal. Unbelievable.

You know, I'm worried that that's the first place you went. How is it unbelievable when they have hijacks-a-lottles. Okay, well, you said it before you knew that. To be fair. But you knew it when I did say. I did. So who were you to judge me? All right.

Let's move on from the axelot. Joe, not let you be judged. Let me ask about Gabby and let me ask about your upcoming nuptials. Yes, our wedding plans. You are engaged. Can you have an engagement party? I will throw it for you because I would love that. You got to have an engagement party.

This is fun. That's a swell idea. Oh, I love that. You think it's swell. We can have it here at the house, right? I don't know why is the word swell. I think that's very nice. I do think it's very nice.

Absolutely. What's the, what's the latest restaurant you built here? Oh, a rainforest cafe. Rainforest Cafe. Why don't we have it there? We could totally have it the Rainforest Cafe. It's gone. What? Yeah.

Like the rainforests. It was unsustainable. Oh, unsustainable. That's too bad. Is there anything there in its place? Just a lot of like kind of shorting out animatronics. No, that's not good. Okay.

Is it with their mouths moving? It's just like a five nights at Freddy's situation? Slightly, some of them are moving and hiding. That sounds terrible. And hiding. Yeah. Some of them are moving in hiding. No, you're not saying they're sentient.

Don't make things up. I didn't say that. Dug. You kind of implied it. I think non-sentions can hide and move. I'm sorry. I think non-sensions can hide and move. I say.

I say. I say. I say. I say, I say, I think non-sensions can hide and move, boy. Yeah, don't go in the rainforest cafe. Okay, fine. I wouldn't even call it that now. All right, fine. We'll have it someplace else.

Okay. We could have it in the wine cave. We could have it. The ballroom? What about the real bats, though? No. Oh, yeah, you're right. There are real bats in the wine cave, fake bats in the real cave.

I thought we had one where there was fake wine in a bat cave, but we don't have that yet. That sounds familiar. Sounds like a waste of time, actually. We could do that, though. That'd be kind of fun. That sounds fun. I mean, that's where a lot of people, a lot of people get married in wineries, you know? And then there's like a lot, you see a picture of a long table and all the, all the barrels are behind you.

Oh, that's fun, right? That's like you're, that's like, Gimley getting married. Oh, not Gimley again. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. A lot of barrels figure very prominently in the Lord of the Rings. Do they? I don't remember that.

Well, there's, in the Hobbit, of course, they escape someplace by hiding in barrels, all the dwarves and. Oh, I guess I remember that now. Not dwarves, hobbits. Oh, boy. Guys, we can't get bogged down. Oh, I'm sorry, yeah, yeah. We just can't. Also, we're not a movie podcast.

I accept your casual apology. Oh, I'm sorry, yeah, yeah. Not towards, hobbits. Huber's. We are not a movie podcast, I want to be very clear. No, we're not. We're not. Do we need to keep saying that?

I don't know. I just feel like we bring up movies so much. We're people we talk about movies so what. People talk about movies. This happens. God, damn it. Yes. It's true.

Okay, you don't even swear. It's alone, everybody. You know who needs to leave me alone is Mitch McNutt. He sent me another message. This time, it was chocolates and every single one of them had been bitten into. So, for those of you who don't know, I mean, I don't know how you couldn't. Mitch McNutt is my nemesis critic. He's the local critic here.

He gives me the worst reviews. As Bert remembered recently, one of the reviews just said, I was a mistake. me, Joan Pedestrian. It wasn't a mistake. Not me in the role. I think that's rude and unprofessional. And he sent me dead flowers last week. And a note.

And I don't know how he knows that I'm coming up with my show, O Gretel, which is about a famous mayor's wife a lot like, oh, Mary. Are you going to go with, oh, Gretel? I guess that's right. That's more like Elizabeth Mcufford from Don Nauby our favorite. Oh, Gretel. Oh, I heard about your show. Oh, I'm so sorry, but Mitch McNutt.

Oh, he said you chuck. He's such a jerk. He's a real jerk. Half chuck. I hope he gets a fever. Excellato. That's a good one, dog. Oh, excellent.

Good one. Good one. So, yeah, he sent me a box of chocolates. He's a demon. He is. He sent me a box of chocolates. I opened it up. Each one had a bite.

Taken out of them. That's terrible. And do you think he did it himself? Oh, I absolutely do. Of course. Oh, you're right. Burtt wants to actively kill him. I want to clone him so I can kill the clone.

He wants to rip his dick off. you have not. Oh my good. Oh, that's right. You actually did say that. We agreed. You did say that, but we didn't want to repeat it. We agreed to let that go. Well, it's not killing. We're already, we're already, we're already reaching a strange point with some of our fans. And you read their post that they want to hear more violent scenarios from us. They do. Three people wrote it. I couldn't even, I didn't even let you read the third because the second one was bad. And so I think we need to stay away from the I'm an interesting idea. I think we need to do that. Doug, what's an interesting idea? The violent scenarios. No, it's not. Just peppering them in. No, that's not a good idea. No, I don't think we should. Well, some listeners want it.

I don't think we should be open. It's not enough listeners. It was three. It was three. It was three. Well, it was three that I told you about. That is not enough. Oh, no.

Oh, no. No, no, not more. You want violent scenarios. Oh, I don't like that at all. Um, no, I think, uh, I think we don't need to add that. That is not what our listeners come here for. We don't. Um, but it is true.

I am getting a little bit, this has gotten to a new, a new level of boundary breaking with Mitch. I agree. I agree. It just makes me want to prove him wrong even more. But it's nerve-wracking. I'll tell you what.

It raises the bar for me. Should we get the authorities involved? Because this is harassment. Not yet. Not yet. What's it going to take? I think it's going to take, I think it's going to take some sort of online campaign.

I really do. I want to destroy him on the internet. Oh, you want to destroy him. Yes. Yes. Okay, my question is, what's it going to take for you to get the authorities involved if he keeps doing things? I think if he makes an actual physical threat on me. Like, you know, he shows up outside my door.

Like those people in that movie. People in that movie. I don't watch horror films. The people outside the door? We, you know, with the visitors, the strangers. Oh, the strangers. Scary. Lift Tyler in a mask.

Oh, she doesn't wear the mask? I did watch it. No, the mask people, I watched the strangers. I saw the movie. They were really unpleasant movie. Oh, and it stayed with me for a long time in a way that I didn't appreciate. Oh. But what happens is three people with masks show up at this remote cabin,

and they're asking if Christy is there or whatever. Oh. And, you know, Liv Tyler and the other guy said, no, there's no Christy here. I'm sure he's so happy to know that that's how he was remembered. Scott Speedman? Oh. Oh, yeah, that sounds right. Okay, go on.

But doesn't his name sound made up? Well, it's a great name, I think. Scott Speedman? Instant fame. Speedman. Um, if his name was just Speedman, I would give it up for him, but the Scott in front of it. Give it up for him. What's right?

Your name is burnt me a payday. Okay. That name is, is, is not normal. I mean. It is in Corsican. It's not. Chon. I, I, I, I guess I didn't realize.

That's the feminine overdraft talking. You were such a Scott Speedman stand. It's not commonplace. It's not commonplace just like Scott. That's speedman isn't. Well, you're coming down pretty... But it doesn't sound made up. You're coming down pretty hard on someone with a unique name.

Are you saying my name? Are you saying burnt me a payday sounds made up? A little bit. Joe! Hand to God, I'm sorry, a little bit. Joe Bernadette Pedestrian. Self-given nickname inside the middle of the other two names. Self-given nickname.

What's that called? A middle name. Self-given nickname. Okay. How about how long have we been talking? I should stop talking for a little bit. Yeah, I think so. Okay.

All right. Babe, how long we've been talking? Just because I thought Scott's been something made up. I felt like running to his defense. I don't know why. I really respond. Oh, because you're an actor. That's right.

I'm an actor. Because you're an actor. Overdrive. Oh, yeah, I'm an overdrive. We still don't have the number of time. Oh, that's plenty of time. Oh, that's more than enough. That's more than enough.

We'll be right back. Hey, Paul. Huh? It's me, Nicole. Hi. I'm sorry, I woke you from your nap. How did you get in here? The door was open.

You should lock your door when you're napping. That's on me. That's on me. All right. Well, here, now that you're awake, can I at least tell you something because I couldn't wait. Listen, the holidays are almost here. Oh my God, that's right. Okay, so you can't be napping. You can't be sleeping on the holidays, Paul.

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And thank you, listener. Child's red, fedora hat, new, no tag, but never worn. Hey, look, I'm not trying to Ernest Hemingway, you. My child is still alive, but turns out, not cool. It's really a shame. I always thought I'd have a cool kid, and I bought this fedora when my wife got pregnant, and I said, I can't wait until he grows into this. Well, his head finally got big enough, but he said, Dad, this is dumb, and I don't want this. We don't speak anymore. Come get this, $12. O-B-O.

Welcome back to the name. Neighborhood lesson. Oh, you're doing that Patty Higginbaum. You know. Pete just wants to say, Welcome back to the neighborhood listen to Mildred. Did you say Pete? Yeah.

I'm sort of like it was a dedication. Like someone was dedicating the segment to someone. Great. Sorry. That doesn't make any sense. You're right. No, no, no. Keep going.

Let's introduce our guest. Let's get to the post. We do have a guest. As we do every week, we call. on the neighbor app, the social networking application for neighborhoods and we look for interesting

people in Technology Falls to talk to. Maybe amplify their message, maybe ask some questions, maybe hold them to account. Oh. That last part was a surprise to me. Well, but I think that's happened sometimes on the show.

It definitely has. That is true. And if you see a post that perhaps we've missed, you think we should talk about it. Why don't you screenshot it and send it to us at burnt and Joan at gmail.com

like this person did, but this was a listener sent this in. let me so sorry trying to get the information here and this comes from Brian Stoner Brian Stoner listener sent this in Thank you Brian And this was in the crime and safety section And this was posted by someone named Mike

Mike has he closed a picture as well Hi we just had a guy who looks like he's wearing hospital scrubs And had some kind of neck brace on Take our kids strider bike right from our carport Here's a picture person Oh, this is a person They're dealing with

Okay Hair, dark hair Top purple slash blue shirt Bottom purple slash blue pants Other neck brace Or towel around his neck Wow Do we get to look

And try to determine What we think it is? Yeah, you know what? Sure I have Because I haven't seen this picture You know what It almost looks like an airline pillow

That is That's a really thick Whatever it is It's significant If it's a neck brace, this neck is in bad shape. Oh, my goodness. All right. And here to talk with us about this is, please introduce yourself.

Hey there. I'm Omar Yan. Hi, Omar. No relation. No relation. To Omarian. Omarian. Oh, got it.

Got it, got it. So is your name Omar Jan? Not any relation to Omar Yan. That's correct. I understand it. And it comes up often, unfortunately. I bet it does. Is it because you say,

say no relation and then we have to... That's right. I like to invite the... I like to invite the comparison. Because frankly, he's a handsome fella. Sure. He's talented. Absolutely. And he's got a swagger to him that I wouldn't mind having. Oh, well, all right.

I would say you're almost there. I agree. You're talking right now. Oh, thank you so much. Omar, am I to take it that you are the man in this picture? Is it because I look like him? Yes. Yes.

Well, yeah, I am him. Okay. You know, I've come. for a number of reasons. Great. Okay, great. To defend myself. This is exactly why we do this.

To apologize. Oh. Defense and apology. Interesting. Wow. I'm curious. We don't get a lot of that. We do not.

But first and foremost, I think it's important to say, we all just have bad day sometimes. Oh. You know what? I will cautiously grant that. Yes. It is fair. Of course we all have bad days sometimes.

Yeah, that's right. It just, you know, now we're obviously going to hear about your Bad day, I'm assuming. I'm assuming maybe this picture was taken on a bad day for you? Well, you know, leading up from a bad week. Oh. Now we're getting into bad weeks. Oh, bad month.

Oh, not a bad year. Oh, boy. It's been bad. It's been bad. Now, he's smiling laugh when he says that, but that usually indicates it's very bad. Yes. But we're getting through it. Okay.

Who's we? Oh, you know. You know, I guess I use the Royal Weeks. Okay, fair enough. Fair enough. I guess I use we in the royal sense so that I felt less alone. Okay, you wanted that community where we're all just like, we're all just walking each other home.

That's right, exactly. I'm not familiar with that expression. You've never heard that phrase? We're all just walking each other home? Yes, you could see it as a little, I guess, sad, but it actually just sounds nice. It doesn't plan that we're all dying, but. Okay, so then can you just, where do you want to start? I'd like to start with this.

Okay. Did you take that bike? I did take that bike. Okay. All right. necessary. And I think what's... Wait, let's hear them out.

And I think what's missing from the photo that you don't realize is there about 17 other bikes outside of the photo. Okay? Really? I took the child's bike because it was the smallest. It is a still image that's true. We don't see all the bikes that could be there.

And the smallest bike has the least number, material, least value. Okay. Well, I would argue that the child might say, no, it has a lot of value to me. Stealing something from a child is rough. The thing about stealing a child's bike when there's 17 adult bikes around,

is the child will grow into an adult bike. Okay, yeah. Can we get to why you took it? Yeah. Wow. As I said, it was necessary. Yeah, that's the part I mean. Why was it necessary?

Can I also just really quickly so I understand. Okay. I don't know what a strider bike is. Oh, thank you. I think, is it the kind where you just push along because there's no pedals? There were no pedals. Oh. Which I was unaware of.

But at this point, I was, I had to make haste. Okay. So you just sit on top of this thing and then you Fred Flintstone. It's a new step of learning how to ride a bike, right? Because the pedals can be a problem, it just gets them used to being on the bike. That's right. And you're praying for hills. You're praying for hills.

You go down the hill, I mean, how do you stop? At that point, you just got to lift up your legs. Well, when you're on the run, on the run. Oh, dear. Wait a minute. That slipped in. Well, we're out. No, it's slipped out.

And it is true, though. Like I said, I've come here to defend myself. And I don't mind full transparency is what I'm all about. Okay. Sure. Yeah, I was on the run from some bad fellas And I think that everybody would understand That if somebody were on the run, hopping fences

Stealing a child's bike, it's okay. Can we walk it back then to why you're on the run? Can we get to the point why you were on the run? Oh, yeah, that's an excellent question. Then we'll discuss whether this is a universal thing that people think. Well, the reason I'm on the run is not am. Well, oh. Also, I see you.

don't have anything on your neck, so you're going to have to explain what that was all about, too. Excellent. It'll come up. Okay. I'm really glad. Great. So, you've heard of sports betting and sports gambling. Oh, sure. Absolutely. It's been making waves, right? Yeah, it has. It's been making a lot of waves. Uh-huh. I kind of got into it. Okay. I was in the needs to be quick cash. Sure. As one is. What better way? Mm-hmm. That's right. And luckily, I am a bit of an athlete myself. Oh, okay. What sport do you do you play? I'm a semi-professional wrestler. Semi-professional.

That's right. So money's involved, but not at the scale of, say, a WWE. Okay. What's your wrestling name? Excellent question. My wrestling name is Ho Malone. Ho Malone. Is your signature move slapping both sides of your face?

My signature moves generally is me being a klutz and falling about and having things set up around the stage. Yes. Like nails stuck on the stage. He's a bandit. inspiration more from the villains of Home Alone rather than... Well, that makes sense, doesn't it? Because if you're playing a heel, right? I am playing a heel, that's right?

Sure, but the little boy is the one who was home alone. Well, then my name would have been Kevin McAllister. He's got a point. He's got a point. He's got a point. It's under the umbrella of the whole movie. It's a shaky point. I think it's fun and clever.

Thank you. Originally, I wanted to be a drag, a drag queen, a drag star. A drag queen wrestler or just a drag queen? Just a drag queen, but I sure would love to see a drag queen wrestler. I like the coordination and mostly the rhythm. Right. Of a drag queen. So that would have been a great drag name, Ho Malone.

It would have been a fantastic drag name. Oh, someone's going to take that. Why wouldn't you go with something like Wetba Ndit? Burnt, that is, that does not roll off the tongue. Yeah, a wetba, it's not a name, but people will remember it. I guess. Well, Ho is not a name. I meant a no.

Propose. Whose name, whose first name was a ho. Well, short for Harold or short for... Harold! Never heard that as a diminutive of Harold. Me neither. What? Like Gerald? A Gerald that they go by Joe?

Never heard that either. Okay. Well, I guess we run a different circle. I guess we weren't... I guess we weren't. I guess we weren't... Professor Ho Hill. There you go.

Good job. I think that would have changed the musical a lot. Okay. So hang on a second. So you are... Oh, Malone, you are a semi-professional wrestler. That means you're sort of doing like the smaller venues. The smaller circuits, that's right.

The indie scene. And people are betting on you. I mean, it's all sort of, well, I guess it makes sense. I didn't really ever think about people betting on that kind of wrestling. Well, yeah. Okay. You're saying that because it's predetermined. Correct.

And I suppose if you were in the inside of it, it would make betting on it. If you're in the audience, you don't know what's going to happen. But yeah, if you're on the inside, then sure. Yeah. So the fellows I was working. With four, you know, they wanted me to throw a match that I was meant to win. Oh, meant to win, meaning they said, you're going to win this one. And then they changed their mind and said, actually, you're going to lose this one.

I was told that I'm supposed to win the match. And the folks that put the money said that I have to lose the match. Okay. So now, this feels like an even more dangerous proposition than, you know, if you're in a regular sport where, the outcome is not determined. It seems like people are going to notice for sure. If you lose a match, you were supposed to win. Oh, I was trying my hardest to lose that match.

You wouldn't believe. Oh, really. So what was initially your big finishing move going to be? My big finishing mood, bowling ball to the face. Bowling ball to the face. Good one. I actually, but the weight, once again, I'm the wet bandit's in the scenario, right?

So I take the bowling ball to the face. But somehow this makes you win. So did you just throw it in your face? Is that what happened? I throw it in my face and I end up doing like a moon salt off of one of the, off the ropes. Okay. A moon salt. That's like a backflip.

When you jump off the ropes. That's right. It's basically a backflip off the top ropes. Okay. I should have put it together from context. I hit myself in the face of the bowling ball. I'll do the ball and I lay out on top. That's generally the finishing move.

Oh, got it. And it's the idea that when the other wrestler sees you hit yourself in the face of the bowling ball, they say, this guy's too crazy. And then they forfeit the match. Oh, is that? Or do they see their moment and they decide just to win? in anyways. Like, yeah, how does that work? Well, normally, how does this make him win? Normally, it's me hitting myself in the face with the bowling ball.

I'm doing the moon salt. And then as a result, I land on top of the opponent who's on the ground. Oh, I see. There's a build up to this burn. So then what happened? The person was not there for you to land on top of? What happened? Well, the person was supposed to be there. I was supposed to win the match. Right. And I was trying my dart. So I was hitting myself in the face over and over with the bowling ball. Right. And I was going, I can't go. I can't go. The refs going, you've got to finish because, you know, you got to win this thing. Well, I tripped.

Okay. Oh. I tripped. On your moonsault? I tripped on my moonsault. Okay. And I unintentionally landed on the other wrestler. So you ended up winning, even though you were trying to throw it.

Yes. I was basically concussed at this point. So wait. Hence, hence. You screwed it up because you won. Hence the neck brace. So that was a neck brace. That's the biggest neck brace I've ever seen for a concussion.

Although the neck brace is a familiar article of clothing in the wrestling scene, right? Of course it is. You all are familiar with you. K-Fabe? Of course, yes. I'm not. I'd love to be educated. K-fabe is basically you're living the role outside of the wrestling.

That's the phrase for if you're living the world? Square circle. Yes. Where does that phrase come from then? You know, I have no idea. Okay. So it's like a verb? You're K-fab? I'm more of a drag.

race. I bet it's like, I bet it's, I bet it's like some old carnival slain. It is, I believe it is carnival slag. How did you know that burnt? Well done. You know, you're a man of the world. Yeah, I like to think so. Okay, so now you're in big trouble because you accidentally won. Sorry, I didn't know what a strider bike was. I'm not sure I did either.

Um, okay, so you landed, you, we won unintentionally. One unintentionally and I bolted as fast as I possibly could because I knew. Sure. Which also probably looked pretty suspicious. Probably, kind of funny. we've got a concussion. Yeah, I was wobbly. Oh, dear.

It's a lot of wobbling back and forth. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and I made my way as fast as I could, away from, you know, the men who bet on me. Mm-hmm. Right. And how many people are you talking about? What is this sort of group of people?

Yeah. Well, as most gangs tend to be one, there was one head honcho. Oh, sure. Okay, head honcho. And he's got minions. What's the word? Goons. Yeah, sure.

Yeah, minions now are doing. too cute. You can't use opinions. You sure can't. Banana. Did anyone say banana? Okay, Doug. One of them loved. That's my husband. He's in another room, but that is my husband, Doug. Oh, that was me. Oh, it was? It just sounded like something Doug would do. Oh, I thought you guys were married.

I thought you were saying, that's my husband. Oh, no. Byrude and I are not. I'm sorry. Babe, why didn't you say hi? And if you wanted to give us a banana, you can't do. Did you say why are we not married? Why not? Well, we're just friends. Well, I was already married previously before we met each other and started this podcast. Oh, okay. Well, you know, sometimes you end up in

arranged marriages that you didn't intend to be in, you know, because it's just based on the situation. Well, yeah. That's how I met my first wife. Your first wife. Yes, and only. Okay. Well, we'll get to that in a minute. Doug, do you want to say anything?

Okay, hi. Great. Hey, Doug. Banana. Banana. Don't act like you don't know who the minions are, babe. You love the minions. Don't act like you don't know the minions are.

Oh, don't act like you don't know the minions. Oh, Doug, you know the minions. Would you like to design your own naked mole rat? Oh, God. This is plush toy. He's making, he's trying to. make a build a bear. I told you this is what I'm saying.

It's on everyone's mind. It's not that easy to just change an entire build a bear set. They're basically both little pink creatures. Why not have a cute one? Honestly, you're actually halfway there, babe. They're not that difference. I say you're two thirds of the way there. Yeah, neither one of them have fur.

Then you can just, you're going to add fur anyway. So keep the fur. What do I do with the buck teeth? Keep the fur. Well, please keep the fur. What do you do for teeth? Well, you could rip off the teeth and put them on the heads maybe and those can be the little head-arms. Oh, what a great idea. Fantastic.

All right. So, so I don't want to get distracted, but you ran away. What happens next? Well, I'm making my, like I said, it's very similar to like, what's a good example? Maybe a good time. Okay. But it was a bad time. I see. So the opposite. It was an opposite. It was an opposite. What are you looking? Yeah, I'm not sure. I think he's not sure why you decided to choose good time. In order, and you could have just skipped ahead and said it was a bad time. You heard of the film Good Time. Oh, I see.

That's what he was hoping. I have not. We missed that reference. And, you know, you like to talk about movies. Safty, Robert Pattinson. Oh. He's basically a guy on the run for the whole movie. And it's exhausting and it's tiring.

And it's a very stressful experience. Is it exhausting and tiring to watch? It's more exhausting and tiring to live. I'm sure it is. This is what these safty guys want to do. They just want to make movies about people who are stressed out. Yes. And then you're supposed to be stressed out?

I was so stressed out. We was living in. I was hoping that when I lived it, I was in the midst of it, and I thought this is a lot of good time because I'm kind of in a pickle, right? Can I say very quickly about uncut gems? You mean uncod jam? Uncottom? Yeah.

I didn't care what's happening to this guy. You could use an idiot. He made terrible choices. Why should I get wrapped up? That's your view of it. If somebody's an idiot, you can't get on their side. Kind of. Burnt is off in that way.

Burnt is off. And a lot of our guests. I mean, well, that's true. Oh, so if I'm an idiot. No, we are not saying that. We are not saying that. We've done several episodes. We've done several episodes.

Where you're on the side of an idiot? No. We've done several episodes, which means every once in a while you're going to get a real character and maybe one who's just not really in a place where they can be helped. Not saying that's you. It's not you. It's not you. We haven't even really gotten to the full story yet.

We haven't gotten the full story yet. Please continue. So you're having a good time. You're having a good time, but that's actually a bad time. Yeah, it's actually bad time. Yep, I get it now. For a frame of reference. Yeah.

You know how there's a good time? In the movie. This is a bad time. That's right. I'm having a bad time because I'm on the run. Uh-huh. So I get into my work clothes because during the day. You took the time to change your clothes.

Well, yeah, because I'm recognizable. Okay. Wait, you mean like, do you have a different job during the day? You just mean your street clothes. Oh, if only semi-professional wrestling, could pay the bills. I see. So what do you do during the day? I'm a radiologist.

Really? I guess I was under the impression they did make enough to pay the bills. It seems like, even. If you start, which did you start first? You just took up radiology after becoming a summer Christmas or the other way around? Another way around. I was looking for some joy in my life.

I hate being radiologist. Right, but, okay. Looking at bones all day? You want to look at bones? All day. I just think, you know, maybe having to. You want to looking at brains and insides of people. But I mean, how?

I'd love to look at outsides of people for a day. Well, you can still, there's other people on working. Well, listen, I still understand. You're probably in a windowless room all day. And, you know, it's probably nice. Well, there's a big window looking through that. to the MRI. Okay, sure.

What I mean is a window to the outside. There is famously a huge window. That is correct. They're very well known. People like to gawk. The looky loose. But why did you go into this? Oh, I hear with a family stands behind me.

Oh, you know what? We do have a weird clinic that one image where there is a viewing window. People can just stand out on the street and watch you get your MRI. You know why? Because we were supposed to have one of those portals to another city where you can see people in another city. Did I not go through? It didn't go through.

So they just told people, you know what? You can look through this window. It's very invasive. I think it goes against the apocratic oath anyways. Why did you end up in the field of radiology if you hate looking at inside so much? Yeah.

Well, I grew to hate the look of insides. Oh, how long did it take? Probably 10 years. Okay. We've been doing this for a while. I've been doing it for a while. Right out of school, I was an assistant radiologist and worked my way up until Maine.

Radiologists. And I'm being. I mean, at this point, the only thing after that is maybe top radiologists? Oh, wow. That's the only rankings. But Kenny's too good. Oh, he's good, is he?

He's good. What makes him a superior radiologist? It's the passion. Oh. He really likes seeing those bones. He loves seeing the insides. Does that mean? You ever seen Kenny on Halloween?

I can't say that I have. Oh, he's loving the skeletons all over the place. Of course he is. Of course he is. So does that enable him to take better x-rays? are you telling me that somebody that doesn't love their job isn't going to be better at it?

Wait. I follow that. Doesn't love their job. Isn't going to be better at it. Yes, okay. I follow it. Yes. If you love your job,

you are going to go the extra mile, I think. Absolutely. Yeah, I follow that. But I mean, then why isn't it just top radiologists? Nothing else. And that is, to be fair,

it is because at the dignity falsemacy, where he works, they have much fancier titles. and way more. So there's like V-Comp, there's Duke, there's, he's the pharmacist's the pharmacist's chief. Duke. Yes. Like royalty?

Kind of. And they all can't be on a plane together. We just got, we just got assistant normal main top. Oh, I missed normal. Main Top. Okay. So then why, I don't understand. We have to get to the story, birds.

I know, but I mean, why are there those two intermediary levels when you're dealing with. You don't think you can go from assistant to. top radiologist, Bert, you're out of your freaking gourd. Yeah, I take your word for it. But I mean, I guess it would just be assistant

to radiologist. That's what I was thinking. Because radiologist means that you are taking the best, you're already taking the best possible. Joan, I'm confused. I understand.

Here's the thing. I think, again, I think I'm correct. Because how can you trust, how can you trust the x-ray of the main radiologist? Oh, you get normal guy's knees.

Burt is very used to, He's very used to his terminology, and I just think sometimes for him to hear a different terminology from a different workplace, it just, it bothers him. I got to say, your terminology is, but okay. Equally confuses me, because I've never heard of a fake estate agent. Oh, now, wait a minute. That means you just don't even understand the term at all. Oh, okay, Joan. Well, you haven't heard of real estate, like in that term?

Do you know what I mean? He's saying he's heard of that. Why not just estate agent? What does real estate mean? What's the different? Oh, my estate's real and yours is just a state. Well, you got me there. He's got me there.

I never thought about it. So I guess I have to now sit and learn and learn. You have to sit and leer. I have to sit in leer. I have to learn. I have to listen and learn. Sit in lear is a dignity falls expression, of course, that we all know. It is.

You just have to sit. When you screw up, it's like, no, you got to sit in. Lairn, and it's usually in the middle of a street somewhere. Yeah. We got to drive around you. Yeah, that's right. And everyone knows what's happening. What, babe?

Lear is real backwards. It sure is. It sure is. And thank you for that. You're on fire. He often is. It's actually not, but. Well, fishing real.

Film real. It would actually be real. Well, if you say it the right way. If you, what's that done? If you say it the right way, it is. Yeah, if you say it the right way. Okay. Can we please get back to your story.

Can we please get back to your story? So you're on the run. I'm on the run. Did you get caught? And at what point is this, is this, is this the same day that you are captured on this photo or?

That's what I'm thinking. Right? Excellent question. But then if that's true, take me through when you got the neck brace. I do that around here. Okay, Bert.

Let's keep it nice. Excellent question, Joe. Thank you. Thank you, everybody, for the compliments about the question. Can we please get the answer? Of course. So the match was the night before

and that, I assume was the day after. Okay. I don't know the date on it. Assume because did you make it, did you make it home and go to sleep? You were concussed. So what happened? Did you go?

Where did you get the neck brace? Did you go to the hospital? Well, the neck brace was there's in a locker room for WWU wrestling. There's neck braces. And this, you can confirm this was a neck brace, not a towel. This was a neck brace. Okay. But did you grab it on the run or did you go back to the workplace and grab it later?

I grabbed it. I went into the locker. room. I quickly threw on the neck brace because my neck was to neck brace up. I threw on. Oh, the neck brace was not part of the disguise. No, it was necessary. It was absolutely necessary. Got it. I threw on the scrubs. Okay. I'm hoping to disguise myself because these, like I said, the head honcho man and his minions, well not minions. Shour goons. That's right. The goons, they had only seen me in

my wrestling attire. And a suit once. Which, what does your suit once? Yeah, one of the goons got married. Wonderful. That's nice. Good. for him. You were invited to the wedding. Of a goon. Yeah, that's when things were going well, betting-wise.

Ah, I see. So, okay, what is your wrestling attire as home alone? Oh, yeah. Oh, excellent question. So I have one of the beanie that barely covers the top of a veneer. Yep. And then I do the big trench coat. Uh-huh.

But just no shirt. Okay. No shirt. No shirt. Sure. Because you're going to rip it off at some point. I'm going to rip off the trench coat. Exactly.

And often it flies off as I'm slipping and falling. Okay, fun. Yes. And then the only other notable part is I always have a, I make up on as if I got a brick to the head. Oh, to the head, yeah, yeah. Do you ever do, I like the iron? That one, I like that one too.

You like the iron. Yeah, yeah, the iron mark on his face. I haven't used an iron because it's hot, you know? Well, yeah. But you're drawing a brick mark. You could draw. You're not actually hitting yourself. Oh, yeah, yes, yes, yes, it's.

You thought, well, I can fake this brick mark, but an iron mark, people can tell. People will know if it's fake. So I thought I'd have to do it. So you grab the neck brace. You're running. What do you do that night? You answered it yourself.

I did? I'm running. You ran all night long. All night long. I ran all night long. I heard them. On a concussion. I heard them coming.

Well, you can't go to sleep. You can't go to sleep. True. It's true. You can't. That may as well run. That's right. Run as far away as I can.

So unfortunately, you're trying to find out of sleep. Run. So there were a lot of neighborhoods about. Sure. So I'm hopping fences. We're known for that here. Yes. They're all over the place.

They're everywhere. You look. They're lousy with them. We're surrounded by neighborhoods in this neighborhood. So I'm hopping fences. Okay. Doing a Ferris Bueller. Doing the Ferris Bueller, exploring backyards.

Trying to occasionally try and rest. Sir, you're hopping the fences. Then you're exploring the backyard. That's right. Because it might be a good place. It might be a good place to lay down. Lay low for a cell. Oh, sure.

You're getting tired. I am getting tired. I tried to sleep on a diving board once. Oh. What? Kid flicked me off. Was this related to this? Oh, yeah.

So this happened in the evening. Kid was outside, flicked you off. Kid, it flicked me off. Okay. Flicked you off. Yeah, when I say flicked you off, what do you visualize? This.

Yes, I'm picturing a finger. Oh, no, no, no, no. Yeah. The kid sprinted, right? That's a flick. The kid sprinted up. Uh-huh. Bounced on the end.

Oh, I see. Yeah, and I got flicked off. By the diving boards. By the diving board. So now you're wet, I imagine. Did you land in the pool? Well, I was wet and I got out and I thought, well, actually, kind of appropriate. Yeah, sure.

Oh, it sure is. Because the wet band. Thank God there was water in the pool. Thank God I was a little worried there wouldn't be. For the kid or for me? I think both. I think everyone involved. I mean, I'm assuming the kid to follow through on the dive.

I was flying through the air, so I wasn't paying attention. Sure. Yeah. Flying. So you, do you, you run until sunup? I run until son up. Okay. You run to son up.

This has got to be a record. Sure is. I run until sun up and I think that was maybe a post from early in the morning because at this point I'm able to see stuff and I'm able to get bearings

of what's available to me. Okay. Because you're sick of running now you're like, I need better transpos. I need a vehicle of some sort. Okay. Yes. So I make my way to this person's home.

Right. To whom I'm sorry. That's the apology. That's the apology. Long time to get there. Yep. Can I ask really quick why? What was your plan?

Did you have one as you were running? like what was your, uh, what was, what was your destination? Joan. What? Great question. Thank you. Excellent question. Um, well, obviously, can't go home.

Sure, I figure that because they know where you live. Because they know where you live. Right. So I was actually trying to make my way to my ex-wife's house. Okay. Well, we had been separated for a number of years. Uh-huh. Why would you ever go there?

Why would I ever go there? Uh-huh. Tumultuous ending. Of course. Sure. So are you thinking that the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the goons are not going to follow you there because you would never go there.

Oh, I've brought it before how much we dislike each other. Sure. And what came up at the wedding? That alibi was already there. What's her name? Allie. Allie? Oh, okay.

Yeah. And you say it was a tumultuous ending to your marriage. That's right. What happened? Oh, she just got sick of me. That doesn't sound tumultuous. For him, probably. It was horrible.

What are you talking? That's pretty bad for him. It was awful. I think tumultuous. I was sitting on the couch and she came up. She said, Omar. I think we're done.

Wow. I'm sorry. That's terrible. Very sorry, but it doesn't sound tumultuous. Did you try? Burnt, let's not litigate. I'm not trying to litigate any day of my life up until this day. Okay.

So now you have, I think we helped you piece it together that the photo is probably taken early in the morning. That's right. Following that evening where you ran all night. That's right. And you've got the neck brace on. You come up on this house. Now it's soaking wet. It's soaking wet.

Which is probably what made it puff up and get bigger. I think you're right, Joan. Is that what happened? Well, they're not supposed to get wet. Like a sponge. It's like a sponge. I mean, it is a sponge. Well, when you get right down to it, it's a sponge.

You okay? So did you make, so wait, first, so you see all these bikes. Yes, I see all the bikes. And really, 18 bikes. Can you remind me what was your logic behind taking the kids bike? It's the least value because it's the smallest. So you thought it would be missed. And the kid will grow up to be able to use an adult bike.

Okay, but I'm just going to tell you. I'm sorry, you guys would see 18 bikes, one kid's bike, and you guys would take the adult bike? Yes, if there were, I do. I have kids, they love their bikes. It would also be less likely to be noticed. It's true. Matt and Popp and Fresh were constantly on their bikes. And so I can tell you that, I could tell you that they'd be really sad.

They used to joust. That's, they would actually joust. They would joust. Yeah, they would actually go. There's this one crazy hill, which is Poplar, Poplar Avenue. where it goes down a steep hill but then right away it goes back up again.

So they get on either side. They get on either side and at the bottom they were going to meet. They called the big dip. They called the big dip and that's how they jousted. They both got, they were on their strider

so they just lifted up their feet came down at huge speeds holding javelins. I'm certain I was stuck in that hill for about 45 minutes. Oh, I'm sure it's terrible. God, if you have a stick shift, forget it. Oh, I had grabbed the strider

and I was just going back and forth. Oh, no, that's terrible. You can never get enough momentum to get all the way up. It's like one of those volcanoes, pup-put courses. You know what I'm talking about. A double volcano you're talking about? Yeah. What does this mean?

When there's like a hole, but it's on the top of a big mound. So it's like if you don't get it exactly where it's going to go right back down to get on the other side. But I mean that you can eventually get when you're stuck in that dip, there's just no way. No, no, there is no way. You're like a Newton's cradle. That's right. So, all right. I would like you to apologize to the child right now,

is what I think I'm asking. Can you just apologize to the child? Because I'm sure they are missing their bike. Hey, child. Some of those creepy 70s songs. Hey, child. Ooh. Okay.

I'm going to be honest with you here. The bike's gone and it's never coming back. What happened to the bike? I got eaten. It got eaten. It's not a great apology. With a second. Well, I want to lay the stakes out for the kid.

Now I'm hung up on what actually happened to it. This is not a good apology. It's not. But now we have to move on to how it got eaten. You thought I ate it. No, nobody thought you ate it. No, he doesn't understand how it got eaten.

Nobody. Nobody. Maybe this child. Hey, kid, I didn't eat it. Okay, who did? What did? The goons had pups. They had pups.

The goons had pups and those pups were fast. It's faster than the goons. So at a certain point, the gunes. Am I correct? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. But I like dogs, so I call them pups because they're adorable.

All right. sort of attack dogs that are being trained on. Exactly. I wouldn't call them. It's not their fault, Bert. They were trained to be bad. I understand. I understand.

So how far had you made it to, I'm sorry, your ex-wife's name is. Allie. Allie. Had you made it to her house on the bike? Once I got out of the hole. Yes, yes. The poplar hole.

The hill. The hill. It's a real hill hole. Once I got out of the hill. At this point, I was on my way, the dogs had been able to catch up because I was stuck in there for a while. They were or were not. They were able to catch up.

Are they just watching you and go up and down and it's dip? They were, I saw one of them cackled over laughing at one point. They did what? They were cackled over. They were cackled over laughing. Cackled over laughing. Cackled over laughing. Cackled over laughing.

Oh, okay. And, but at this point they had caught up. All right. So I thought, what's the best way to get rid of dogs? Or pups. Okay. You throw the bike out. Is that right?

You throw the bike out. I mean, usually you throw a stick. maybe, or like a treat. If I had a sticker or treat, what I would have paid for a sticker or treat, all I had is a strider bike. All I have is a strider bike. I guess I could throw in the wet neck brace, but they're not going to go after that. They might have. They really might have. They really might have. They like a toy. Yeah, it looked like a toy. Yeah. I still using that, I guess, for my head at that for your head. Yeah. It was around your neck for your head. So I threw the bike at them

and I took off on foot. Okay. And as I was looking behind me, I saw them eating the crap out of that bike. Oh, that's terrible. And so you get to alleys, correct? I get to alleys. Okay. And what happens? What does she? She, I mean, what's her deal? She can't be thrilled to see. No, is she with someone? Is she, you know, is she alone? Oh, she's been with someone for a while.

Oh, no. So this is terrible. You're showing up in the middle of the early morning. I'm showing up in the early morning. I'm knocking on the door. Say, Allie, Allie, I'm on the run. Not a great intro. I'm saying this through the door.

I'm saying this through the door. She says, well, come on. Sure. She's added already. Well, she says, and then, of course, not again is what she says. Is that because you've shown up at her door in the middle of the night before? Because I've been on the run before. Oh, you've been on the run before.

Oh, no. Yes. So you figure I would have had some experience with this. But it was a different type of route. Well, you do have experience with it. And you probably shouldn't have done this. Hey, Bert, all runs are different. Ooh.

Got you there. Sometimes you had a go bag. Okay. Sometimes you had a plane ticket already. Uh-huh. Right. Did you mean a go bag? A go bag?

No, from a restaurant. You're on the run. You're thinking of your go bag. What are you? Byrd used to, well, he had a hobby where he used to just stay up all night and roam around the city waiting and watching to see if a crime was about to happen. Like Batman? So I could prevent it.

Somewhat like that. But Batman is looking for people to beat up. And I was just looking to dissuade people by distracting them. So if I saw that somebody was about to commit a crime, my plan was I would jump out from the shadows and go, hey! And then they would be like, oh, no, and then they would run away. And to sustain himself, he let, he hid go bags everywhere all around town. Oh, no, no.

Fresh lunch meat. Oh, first lunch. Sounds like a to go back. He had, he's not wrong there. Who orders lunch meat to go? I'm sorry. It's usually between two pieces of bread. I'm going to order.

That's called shopping. You don't, you eat your luncheon at the grocery store. You don't go to the supermarket. I'll have my luncheon for a year. And if the things are going down the conveyor belly you say, and I'll have all this to go. All right.

So you've done this before. You've been on the run before. Did she let you in? Of course she let me in. Okay. Who's she with? Who's with her now? Brian.

Oh, tell me about him. What's his deal? Well, he is running for mayor. Failed before. Oh, outspired. Failed once before. Brian Abertoony? Brian Abertoony.

That's right. He's running again? He's running again. Oh, that's embarrassing. What did you get last time? 16%? He had a bad campaign. Don't be a loony.

Vote for opportunity. Yeah. And it was really annoying. And he had this cartoon. Well, because he got too many loonies in this dark town. Well, that's true. People were offended by it. in this dark town.

In this dark town, there are so many loonies. And he really wanted to win that loonie vote. And he had a weird animated rabbit with swirling like peppermint stick eyes. And it was like, it's terrified children. Yeah, jarring. Almost kind of like jigsaw, actually. It had like jigsaw eyes now that I think. Instead of on the cheeks.

He has rouge. Right, but it was on the rabbit's eyes. Oh, but it does kind of look like a lolly like a candy swirl. Yes, yes. But why would you choose that? Choose something that's like, you know, choose an axelotel. You know what I mean? Yeah, sure.

That's where he went wrong. Anyhow, so Brian is a failed mayoral candidate. Yes, that's right. He comes from money. They all do. They all do. And where some of us have to work our way up to a radiologist. Amen.

Exactly. So I go in there, I say, hey, guys, hide me. Hide me, hide me, hide me, hide me, hide me, hide me. Hey, guys, hide me, hide me, hide me. Well, yeah, because I'm frantic at this point. I guess I'm giving you the transcript. I can give you a general idea. I know, but this is kind of fun.

I'm really in it. It takes me there. Oh, great. Brian says, not again. He's what he was in the shower. We could probably skip the night. He was in the shower. Yeah, maybe we don't need. Okay. Now that I take it back. Oh, really? Oh, he calls from the shower not again. It's really a play by play. Well, they were, okay. Can I just give you the number of more not against? Sure. There were three. Okay. Three more. Great. From the boys. Uh-huh. He was up early. He's in the shower. Ready to go. Yeah, the boys. Who are the boys? My, my, my, me and me and Allie had a couple, couple boys. Oh, you're a father. You're a father. You're a father. You're a father. You're a father.

That's right. That's the words. Do I not give off father? No, not at all. And you weren't even seeming to understand what the word is for when you have a child. The boys. That seemed like to you, we were using some obscure term of arms that you'd never heard before. Okay.

What are their names? They are, well, it's Chandler. Uh-huh. Ross. Oh, no. And Phoebe. Those are your three boys? Chandler Ross and Phoebe.

Okay. Chandler Ross and Phoebe. Well, Two of them are twins. Two of them are twins and one of them is not a twin. That would stand to reason. I'm going to say two of them are twins. You're right. All right.

You called it. Have you met them? I have not. How old are they? Well, they're 5-5-8. 5-58. Yeah. It's interesting.

You go from the youngest up where I feel like most people go from the oldest town. Well, everybody has their way. That's so true. So, Ali has custody. Allie has full custody? Or do you have a test? Oh, yeah. I should hope so.

Okay. I would imagine. So why do you say it like that? Well, if you say you've been on the run several times, that's not a great parental. Several times. Several times. It's come up. That's going to, that's not going to stand up in a custody battle.

Oh, I didn't want them. Oh, no. What? I could have fought for him. I chose not to. Okay. All right. I'm a way better parent than me.

I'm on the run constantly. Why did you take such umbridge then? What I said, of course. Yeah. I'm on the run all the time. I'd be a horrible father. All the time. I agree.

It's really escalated. It's really escalated. It's really escalated. It went from it happens to all the time. Well, not constantly, but when I said I need to cash, it was because all the time means constantly. Okay. Well, I guess we are learning today that we have different vocabulary. Is anyone chasing you here?

No. Oh, okay. If there's someone, if there is someone lurking in my backyard, I will be very unhappy. If I see someone in my backyard, I hate, I hate backyard. I don't think. No, not beg your lurcher. Not a lurker. Well, this is a new place for me, so maybe they wouldn't.

Well, that's true. You haven't been here before that I know of. So, wait, this must have been kind of rough for the kids, seeing their dad show up in the middle of. Oh, they're excited. Boy, Joan. They're used to it. They're used to it.

He said, not again. That's the first thing they said. You guys didn't let me say that. Not again doesn't mean used to it. Now, that's an interesting point. Thank you. Used to it doesn't also, is nothing positive. It just means that it's something that they've come to expect, which is disappointment, you know?

And that's why they say not again. You think my kids are disappointed in me? I think it's very possible. Omar. I think it's very possible. Wow. Omar, you need to right now look at your life. I agree.

It's not good. You know, what is sort of counterintuitive is that his energy is very high and good. And you would think he's telling just a fun story. Start off so cheerful. That's something that still, well, mostly cheerful the entire time. And it almost sort of belies the fact that what's going on here is really dark. Yes. And this is all.

My kids are disappointed in me. Oh, no. This is all because you're sick of looking at bones. Omar, if you had just accepted it, you know. But you know what, I guess in his mind, to use his point, he's gotten used to the bones. And that's in a bad way, right? You've gotten used to it in a bad way. Maybe if there were some new bones.

Oh, I mean, I would think new bones come through all the time. If you took better pictures, don't you think they'd be more interesting to you? How are they? What is the quality of your pictures? The ability of my, my ability to take pictures is unparalleled. What? Well, then what did you be top radiologist? My passion of reading the bones.

Sounds like witchcraft. It really does. Is there some supernatural element to radiology that we were unprepared for? I'm prepared for. Absolutely. Well, explain to us how that works. Well, because you can read the bones and figure out what's going on. So sometimes you're reading the bones.

Is it like, do you look at it and you talk to me bones? You say that out loud? Is that what happened on that show, Bones? They do say Talk to Me Bones. Hey, talk to me Bones. Are they talking to Bones when they say it? Wasn't the main character named Bones? Yes, which drives me crazy.

It was. Her last name was Bones. I mean, who can believe that? Her last name was Bones? It was. That can't be true. It has to be a nickname at most. If that character's last name is bones, I'm going to burn this place to the ground.

Okay. I thought it was a titular show. I might be wrong. I do think that she is referred to as Bones. I think it was a nickname. Okay, okay. Temperance, Bones, Brennan. Okay.

Bones and quotes. Temperance is not great. Temperance was her name? That's right. She wanted to be called Bones. Or she could have gone by Tone. Tone. That's what you said.

I said toe. Tow. Why toe? Harold Ho, Gerald Joe. Oh, sure we go. Temperature. Oh, we're going back to that. Absolutely.

Absolutely. Oh, boy. Is this one of those shows where everyone talked really fast? There were so many shows like that at that time period. Oh, like Scandal. Bones and Gilmore girls,

very similar, what you're saying? Oh, sure. There's a lot of crossovers. People talking really fast and they're just been really funny. They're talking to this. Were they going for comedy? I had a friend who lived in L.A.,

who auditioned for Scandal one time. Oh, wow. And she said, literally when she finished, the cast and director said, and in a very exhausted tone like this, just talk faster. Speed it up. Didn't care about anything else.

It said it needs to be as fast as possible. Can you just talk faster? Just talk faster. Speed it up. I got places to be. We filmed the show in 20 minutes. They always made their day. They did.

They sure did. Well, friend, I got to tell you, I am worried about you, and I think that... I'm worried about you. You, Obar, because I think that burnt is right. You're a mess. I think you need to take a good, hard look at your life. I think you need to stop being on the run.

You can't be surprised by that. You cannot be shocked. Oh, wow. Okay. Be and burnt. So... You must know that being on the run constantly and having kids that don't respect you.

No. And in fact, dread you're coming around. And the fact that you are, your life is in danger, I'm assuming. Oh, yes. You're saying this as if everybody who's on the run constantly is a bad person. Well, now you're going to get into the sort of semantics of like, oh, it's a marathon runner. Mission impossible guy. I'm going to say something to you.

I never said you were a bad person. I said you're a mess. Oh, well, you're the one who called yourself a bad person. I'd say the same to Jason Bourne. Well, I wouldn't. Harrison Ford of the Fugitive? He's a mess. sure. He didn't kill his wife, but he's the mess.

I feel like I've never felt more like a character than I do like Harrison Ford in the fugitive. You've never felt more like a character. You're like. I've never empathized more with the character. I see. Okay. Is that movie good? Huh? It's pretty good, babe. I think it holds up. I think it holds up. It's on television constantly.

All I remember is I don't care. That's all I remember. Oh, wait. Can we do the three? You've got to know more. Sometimes we like to do Burns three. When it's a movie that Byrne says he barely remembers He can usually recall three items from it We've done this with Back to the Future We've done it with Mrs. Doubtfire Okay, so number one you remember

I don't care. I don't care. Number two. Shoe polish hair dye. Shoe polish hair dye, good one, yes? Wow. Oh, that's good. Oh, come on. I'm gonna take note to that.

It's hot on the heels of I don't care. It's the, he dives off the drain pipe. Yeah. Well, yeah, but it is that the fall. But those two are so close together. I know, but the fall is a specific visual and the other ones align. Is this a movie you saw on TV a lot?

No, I saw it in the theater. Oh, you saw in the theater. I saw it in the theater. But you didn't know anything, but prosthetically, that means nothing to you. Oh, no. Well, I know that of the general because of the TV show. Okay. Oh, sure.

How do you have some kind of trial here? Accusing bird of not caring about prosthetics. I'm saying, give yourself more credit. Does that mean nothing to you? You knew more about it than you let on. That was a fourth thing. Okay, okay. I wasn't denigrating myself for not remembering much.

Well, it seemed like, don't know us. No, wait, look, you've gotten us off track. All right. Don't you get involved. You've gotten a soft track here, oh, Mark. Don't turn the table. We're not a mess you are. Are you going to talk about to me or to burn?

No, no. No, everyone's talking to you. You're a mess. You're a mess. You know what? Help. Help. Help me.

Help me. Help me. There's a guy in the backyard. There's a guy in the backyard. What do we do? Is this guy after you? No. Get down below the window sill.

Oh, no. And here's what we're going to say to you. Okay. Help me. Well, we're trying to. You have to straighten your life out. How much do you owe these guys? Oh, God.

Or how much do they live? lose on this wrestling match, which is weird that anyone's betting on that. I know. $96. Are you fucking kidding me? Omar, you have to get out of here right now. And it'll be a pleasure to watch these girls. Please leave my house. Please leave my house right now.

Can you guys believe Brian didn't give me $96? Get out of her. Unbelievable. I have to leave right now. Get out of it. We have to go. Do you guys have any little bikes? No, we don't.

No, we don't. You cannot take the twin bikes. Just, just please leave. What did you say, Doug? He asked for the little bikes. little bites or bikes? Bikes, babe. Why did I go back for that?

I'll take little bites to go. Can I take little bites to go? I thought so I'm sex. You cannot have anything to go. Offer you just need to go. Okay? We'll return with the number of list and returns without Omar.

Ha ha ha. Hi y'all. This is Brandy. And I am giving away Grinch. Nope. I'm not giving them away. I just remembered. I want to try.

you $8 for these. Grinch 19-inch Christmas stockings. Set a personalized green Christmas stockings with fluffy trim. Now I know what you're going to say. You're looking at the picture and it says, but Brandy, these first of all look like they're made of paper. Second of all, they look like they're made by students. And why would you say that? Well, because on top of some of these stockings, it says Miss Marriott, Miss Eileen, then the names are Clementine, Yaya, Joshua, Max, Alba Harper, Otto, and Jordan. Now, I know you're going to say, Brady, these were a project for your kindergarten class,

and I would say bah humbug to you. Absolutely not. Yes, it looks like they were glued to a wall. Don't worry about that too much. Some of them are bent. Absolutely. That's just so they lived in, and you can absolutely put these stockings on your feet,

these three-dimensional, for sure, not used by a student or made by a student and no student is wondering where these went for $8, please. Bye. Welcome back. Boy, oh, boy. You know, again, I want to apologize for listeners in case that was a little hard to listen to it.

It's a little scary when we get people on here that maybe are criminals. I feel like this sense of dangerous precedent. Oh, you're right. The people who want the violent scenarios. Oh. Apologies. Oh.

Okay, we'll cut that part out. No. It's kidding. Okay. I just, you know, it's a little jarring, I'm sure, to sometimes hear that we have a potential criminal sitting at this Kitchen Island, you know? He's a criminal. He absolutely is.

He admitted to crimes. I mean, that's, but, you know, those were back-to-back people, one who probably committed a murder and another one who is just in constant trouble, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's really hard. Yeah, it's hard. It's really hard when you think about it. Well, because you don't know who you're going to get.

We don't know what these people are going to say. Well, and Joan, isn't that the scary thing? Yes, I'm letting them into my home. How many murderers do you think you're walking around every day? Oh, gosh, I sure hope that's not the question. I want everyone to take away from this. Oh, I hope there's not a murderer. I'm just so sorry.

Oh, please, don't be a murderer. Lurking in my backyard. Don't lurk. Take it. Don't be a lurking murderer. Well, I really hope that Omar I'm just worried about the kids. I hope he's brought to justice.

I know. I know. The kids have, they've been through enough. They sure have. Oh, boy. I was really surprised he had three. Who's betting on professional wrestling? Semi professional wrestling at that.

I guess. You know what? You really kept talking about drags. I think he really wants to be a drag queen. He missed his calling. I feel like he should follow that passion. Absolutely. He had such a great name.

Thanks would be so much better for me to have a community. Yes. You can't, I don't think you can throw a drag race, right? I don't know. Are people betting on drag races? That would be interesting. Oh, my God, that would be kind of amazing, actually. All right.

Babe, well, hang on. Let's just check in with. Oh, yeah. Sorry, we do have to check in with Doug. Almost a dick in with chug. Dick in with chug. Now you're like me. You've got the overdrive.

Where were you again, babe? I can't remember. Doug, where are you? Where are you? The, uh, build a naked mulrat show. That's right. What do you think about? What do you think,

build an axelotto. What do you think about that? Well, here's the thing. I took your advice. Well, good. I've tried to convert it into an axelot, but I think it's more like a gooey duck. No. Goody duck. Wait, that's an actual type of duck. Do you think kids? No, it's not a duck. Wait, what is you saying? Do me a favor and Google gooey duck. No, I think it is real. You're not spelled kind of like geo-duck. Yes. That's nothing to do with ducks. When you see this thing, the last thing you'll think of as a duck.

I know, I'm aware. I've seen it before. Kids might like it, though, Byrne. It sounded like you weren't. This is for the kids. So, wait, what did you say, babe? What did you say? What did you say?

What did you say? What did you say? Goody duck. You did say gooey duck. Yeah. I'm so confused. He said he didn't say duck. A gooey duck is not a duck.

It has nothing to do with ducks. I know that. Joan, this one's on you. Thank the Lord. I don't understand what's going on. No, you don't. That's what we're saying. Well, I said I don't like that idea and you got mad at me.

It's not really an idea so much as that's what I ended up looking like. I understand. And I was just like, oh, that's not good. What's the problem here? And I understood what, and then you went, no, I didn't, that's not a duck. You just really thought I didn't understand. You just said it was a type of duck. I did think for a second

That's important to the story The part where we're right Go on Doug Doug Doug That's not helping you Sorry No one needs that

I'm trying to relish it Just a little bit Don't do that off air Calm down babe What I said what I meant What my brain meant to say was It is a real thing Right

A Goey Duck's a real thing But instead what came out is it's a real it's a duck okay and I realize that was my mistake understood this is feminine overdrive you guys this is feminine overdrive in all its glory uh July ap screamed when she walked in here oh yeah that's right she's back home oh she's back from australia she's never going to go again she got her heart broken she got her heartbroken by a farm hand yeah by a farm man how how long they had a fling they had a it wasn't no I mean that's why she went back down there She didn't tell me that in the first place.

Of course not. Because I was like, this is something you already did. Haven't we already done this before? This is re-tread ground. But that's why she ended up going back. Do you think the kids that are sentenced to outward bound ever go back to just do it for fun? Can you remind me what outward bound is? Here's all I know about it.

It's something that if your kid is having some sort of problem. Dear. They're like, here's what you got to do. Oh, God. They put the mountain in the woods. Go climb stuff. Boy, I'm not saying that's a bad idea, but a lot of these things are connected with some not so great people.

Yeah, my fear is that it's not quite a boot camp, you know, but it's not great. We sent the boys to inward bound, and that was just, can you stay inside a house for a day? Could they do it? No. But they were tricky. They didn't leave the house.

They just burned it down. There's always a loophole. There is a loophole. Technically, the house left them. Exactly. That's what they probably said. trial. Anyways, I know a geo-duck is not a duck.

That is the point. A gooey duck. And if you remember anything, why is it gooey instead of geo? I don't know. One of the problems. I don't want to look at up. One of the many problems with these guys.

Goody ducks. Some people eat them. But the kids might like it. I'm going to go with it. No, no. Do the X a little, babe. It's the holidays. I can't.

It's not a holiday. I can't turn a gooey duck. That sounded like your commercial for these things. It's the holidays. It did sound like the commercial. It's the holidays. You know what that means. Goey ducks.

Build a gooey duck. Speaking of the holidays, I do have a post related to the holidays. I'm sorry, hold on. Okay. How many have you made? We got to get rid of them. Oh, there's hundreds at this. Why are you doing this?

Why? I got to test it out. How many? So everyone gets to design their own gooey duck. Oh. That's the whole bill of bear concept Started as a naked mole rat Yes

Well you made hundreds Before you realize Actually these are more like gooey ducks I tried to turn the naked mole rat I tried to make a bear It looked like a naked mole rat This is how this all began you remember You tried to make a bear

That looks like what I've read about business The best business minds This is what he's right about business burnt Keep in mind I'm a pretty successful business mind with my Doug Pags. With his Doug Pags. He got very rich very early on because he patented.

Doug Pags were a success. Looking at a baby carrot, he realized that would go right into the hole of a piece of furniture and assemble it. There would be no IKEA without Doug. So they say, you know, it's kind of like a roll with the punches thing. Oh. If you have an idea, you try to make it,

maybe in the process of making it, it kind of you think, you're having for that happy mistake. It actually works better as a gooey duck or whatever it is. Sure. Fill in the blank. But so the axolado idea did not. Can I, here's, you can't off out of filling in the blank.

Leave it blank. You're no one quibble with what you just said. Okay. You said you made hundreds of them. Yeah. So that's not, well, with each round, you know, each test. After what you're saying is for, at some point, the mistake, that's not going to happen. Worse is an opinion.

If you haven't found, had a eureka moment. when it's not happening. I'm going to say if you get to 50 and you haven't done the thing that you're trying to do, you can't do it. Nope, you can't move on.

If that's what I'm saying the axolotel's not going to work out, let's settle for gooey ducks. It doesn't sound like you tried very hard. It doesn't sound like you tried very hard. It doesn't sound like you tried very hard. All right, I'm going to read this post now.

This is quite a testimony, okay? Is that part of it? Nope. I'm just kind of describing it. That would be quite an opening. It would be. For a social media post? This is quite a testimony.

This is from Scarlet. It says this year I was determined to have the very first decorated house on my entire block. She sounds fun. I didn't want to wait until everyone else had their lights up. I wanted to kick off the season

with something bright. One or the other? You see somebody else's like? Now I have to wait for everybody else. I wanted to kick off the season with something bright, warm, and festive. The moment December began. I mean, this is.

She's pretty aggressive about the holiday cheer. That's why I called Chester, and I'm so glad I did. It goes on. He showed up with the kind of confidence and creativity that instantly told me I had chosen the right person. I explained that I wanted my home to stand out early. And he walked around with me, pointing out the spots that would glow beautifully and create that perfect holiday charm. His ideas fit exactly what I was hoping for. as soon as he started installing the lights,

I knew this house was about to look special. Chester took his time, lined everything perfectly, and, hang on. And the creativity that instantly told me I had chosen the right person. I explained that, oh, sorry, I'm sorry, I did a thing where I took two pictures,

sorry. His idea fit exactly what I was hoping for. As soon as he started installing the lights, I knew this house was about to look special. Chester took his timeline everything perfectly and made sure the glow was warm and elegant. When he switched everything on... The glow is warm, but not quite elegant.

Let me try a few more things. When he switched everything on, my whole yard lit up like the season had officially begun right there at my doorstep. God damn it! I added the, God damn it. But it was implied. The best part was seeing neighbors slow down

as they passed by, noticing that my house was the first one shining. I felt proud, excited, and more than ready for the holidays. and Chester made it happen and I highly recommend it for Christmas light installation and there's a picture and honestly

it looks like barely anything was done is just some white lights wow this Chester is really running a sweet racket this could have been done what was she doing before two hours look at the close-up

this is truly the most basic lowest bar They are just, it's one single string of white light. Outlining a garage door. There are no other decorations. Oh, Chester. No other decorations. Not a wreath.

Oh, Chester. Chester. You made it elegant and warm. Elicant and warm. This is, and she claims this is the beginning of the holiday season. She's claiming that people slowed down. People slowed down to watch what? It just looks like regular lights maybe that are on for security reasons.

It is unreal. Also, I mean, I have questions about Chester. You're right. He's running a huge scam for women who just have decided they need to pay someone to do absolutely everything. I mean, do you think there's more of her, more Scarlets out there? And Chester's like, it's really quite simple. Also, the way she talked about Chester, is Chester just some dude who's like, you know, the hot cable guy, the hot plumber? Chester?

I don't think so. That's not fair. I believe in nominative determinism. and I think if you name a baby Chester He will never be hot Wait a minute, Chester You can't say that Wait a minute

What is that from? The weight From the weight Remember Rubarb Caravan did that Oh We said wait a bit of Chester We audition each of us to sing that part Who could sing it the most coveted part

The most yeah the weakest Who had the weakest voice for that part I mean I would have taken a shot at that It's crazy. It's just a couple crazy. It's not really. You can join us.

Let's just go back. As soon as he started installing the lights, I knew. How? How is that possible with what these lights are? Again, it was... This gets into my question is... When he switched everything on, that makes it sound like this is a griswalled house.

Everything. By that, I mean, the one string of lights? Absolutely, yes. Unbelievable. She's delusional. She's crazy. I'd be surprised if there were more than two plugs involved. I don't think there are.

I don't think there are. The house isn't that big. You'll see it. We'll put it. We'll post it. It's a... smaller, it's a smaller two-story house, but really

not that big. If it was a Griswold situation or, to be honest, a corn situation, maybe it was just in a huge ball of tangled, you know, maybe the work was untangling the ball of lights. I guess, but here's the other thing. She's making it sound like

Chester is somehow aeronautically figured out. No, he says he showed up with the kind of confidence and creativity. What creativity didn't take to walk around and go, you know what I say string of white lights there string white lights there done that's it that's all it was that was the bitch this is my question is what was she doing before I don't know what the this is how bad she is a decorating that she's gotten so bitter about it that she really can't

do anything and this guy showed up and she thinks he's the second coming to Christ were they just in a ball in her front window and she just plugged them in the living room she just had no idea why is nobody complimenting me she just put the box of lights out in the front That's it. That's all she thought you had to do. Oh, Scarlet. You are. You idiot.

Too much. But happy holidays, Scarlet. Of course, and happy holidays to all of you. What is, we're very close to the holidays. I think we're right in that. We're right smack dab in the middle of the holidays, I think.

I think we are. Let me take a look because this is coming out pretty soon. We're in long December. We're in long December. Yeah, we're in long December. Yeah, we're in long December. But, yes, we wish everyone a happy holiday. we have more time to say it.

We'll say it over the next few episodes. Yes, we will. Well, thank you so much for listening. If you'd like to hear ad-free versions of the episodes and gain access to our bonus content, go to CBBWorld.com and sign up with the Maximus tier. That's where you get that. Wow, what happened there?

I was having fun. It was fun. And follow us on Instagram where you can see pictures of the post. If you want to see Scarlet's absolute basic bitch house, you're welcome to go look at that. And we'll be back next week with another episode. Until then, goodbye. And bye.

All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed. The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins. And me, Nicole Parker. And me, Brett Morris. This episode's guest was played by Walee Mansour. The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang World. Go to CBBWorld.com to unlock the entire history of the show,

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