The Neighborhood Listen - Trombone Treasure with Bryan Safi

Episode Date: November 23, 2020

This week, Burnt and Joan get into chats about human tetris, a teddy bear hunt and more! Plus, special guest Marawa (Bryan Safi) comes in to discuss the beautiful tromboning in their neighborhood!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Look out, Canadian listeners, this one's for you. Coho is a mastercard with an easy-to-use app that makes managing your finances easier. Coho lets you earn cash back, borrow, build your credit history, and so much more. Join over 1 million Canadians and sign up for your free trial today. Download Coho on Google or App Store today or koho.ca for more details. Plus, for any basketball fans out there, get a $75 e-gift card for nbastore.ca when you sign up with the promo code koho75. That's code koho75. Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website. That our network is scared for us to name for legal reasons, but you know which one it is.

All of the posts you hear our characters read are word-for-word real posts from this neighborhood website. Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. This episode's guest is Brian Safi. Knock, knock. Who's there? Your neighbor. Good. In Dignity Falls,

you're never alone. You've got the NeighborHalf app and us. Bert. And Jode. From coyotes to mail theft to weird things to sell. We'll cover it all. And meet new neighbors as well. We'll chat about any posts you're missing. so just tune in to the neighborhood listen

welcome back oh don't uh i'm telling you listen guys we're doing the best we can we're not in the same room exactly and we we we're just trying to figure out who's going to start and I'm looking at you, Bert. And I saw you make a move with your face and I thought it meant go. And then there was like the tiniest bit of lag and I thought she didn't get my movement. I better go. Let's try to say it together. Okay.

One, two, three. Three, two, one. Oh, wow. Well, this is a disaster. No, I prefer the countdown. It's more dramatic. I know. It's true.

I think that that comes from my theatrical background, you know, a one and a two and a three or a five, six, seven, eight. You know, I don't like to go backwards. I only like to go forwards, Bernt. Let me ask you this, because you are a thespian and I am not. I'm not a performer and you are. Five, six, seven, eight. Why start there? Because usually you are coming, you are usually working with an eight count of a combination.

What's that mean? Oh, okay. So like if you've ever heard or if you've ever seen any documentary or anyone ever doing a dance class, they go one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. You guys can't see, but I'm doing jazz hands. You know, like chorus line. Are you familiar with da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da?

Right? That's one, two, three, four. I'm familiar with humming, yes. Right. Well, that's a song from a musical. Usually, you're starting a movement on the downbeat of the one is what it really is. Oh, it's the little hiccup of breath before an actual note starts. Like, so that you know when to start.

There's like a little breath. You can sort of hear it. You know, it's like one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight is actually the downbeat of one. Does that make sense? Is this from Rent? Because I know there's a song from Rent that has a lot of numbers in it. And is this a one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight?

Nope, it's not that one. This is just music, Burns. This is just any music that's in a simple eight count of music. And so, a five, six, seven, eight, bum. Like, you know right after the eight, you're already getting in the rhythm, and you know right when to put those jazz hands out there.

And that's where that comes from. I mean, this is this is this. I'm saying this is my fault, not yours. I feel I'm more ignorant than I was before I asked the questions. But but to be fair, I thought that that song from Rent was they counted up to 500,000. You mean like a 99 bottles of beer on the wall, but the opposite? Yes, in reverse. Oh, good Lord.

That would be the longest song in the world. I thought they broke it up into different songs. You thought that the only songs in Rent were just getting to this number. Yes, that's exactly right. I've never heard the full song. One song is called 125,692. Exactly, exactly. That one is right before intermission. I've never heard the full song. Like one song is called 125,692. Exactly. Exactly.

That one is right before intermission. I've never seen the show. I just knew that there was a song that started with a great number. It actually is the very end of the show. Is that true? Yes. Well, that makes sense. So the songs preceding that would be counting up to that number.

Your theory works. But no, sadly, most of the songs are about, you know, people dying and hooking up and struggling to pay their rent. They're not about numbers. Yeah. Pass. All right. Anyhow, we didn't welcome again.

Let's do it at the same time. No counting. Let's just look at the same time. No counting. Let's just look at each other and breathe. Ready? Okay. Welcome to the neighbor. Oh, you're singing it. No, I'm not singing it.

I was trying to match what you did. You went up with your voice and it was crazy. I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to be crazy. Although I do, I do, you know, I have been spending a lot of time by myself. I know.

And I'm worried about it. And you know, we didn't check in yesterday, burnt. And I think it's making a difference. I, I feel like when we speak every single day, not doing the podcast,

just, I get, we get to look at each other just as friends. And, and I feel like I, I i the days that we miss uh and and i'm sorry the days i'm sorry i missed yesterday i that's quite all right i i had my hands full with connie um who is uh that's my ventriloquist dummy um and uh he and i spent uh spent a long day uh trying to achieve a breakthrough which which we did not achieve this is you just basically trying to get him to respond back

without you having to manipulate his mouth yourself exactly that's correct okay it's interesting to me that uh you were terrified by the trailer of the movie magic with anthony hopkins that you end up watching you. Magic is fun. You're dead. So it's interesting that you would want the same thing that essentially happens in that movie to happen in your own home, which is the dummy start to speak on its own. Why does that not terrify you? Why do you want that to happen? I mean, it absolutely does. But that's part of the conquering the fear. I'm trying an immersion immersion therapy and so first to immerse myself in in a home with a ventriloquist dummy terrifying but then also to to try to get him to the point where he's speaking independently on his own um what could be more terrifying and what could be a greater achievement if i overcome that terror this is happening because burnt has stopped going into

the pharmacy is that correct i was asked to stop going into the pharmacy. Is that correct? I was asked to stop going into the pharmacy because I was staying, I was staying there too long and they were afraid I was going to get infected, but I felt like staying there too long. Why would you mean after hours? Sometimes, yes, I would go in there and I would do an all day shift. I would, I would do double shifts. I would, I would stay there after they closed up and just go and just wipe down everything. And they, do double shifts i would uh i would stay there after they closed up and just go and uh just wipe down everything um and uh they i i guess i was starting to look uh very haggard and uh gaunt and they said burnt you have to go home and uh i said you don't understand connie the

ventriloquist dummy is there he's there all day and uh i they said i i understand but you you really you can't stay here you have to go home you have to for your own safety and other people's safety okay but i do think that that's causing a problem because i think that you it helps you to get out of the house i mean any one of us obviously that goes without saying now because we're all in the same boat uh same boat different houses but uh i do think that it helped you to be out and to do your job and this is interesting because the post that i have is actually applicable to what's going on right now with you and Connie. And I'll explain to our listeners why. So I'm just going to jump in here.

Is that okay, Bernd? Of course. So this is from Lisa. Oh, by the way, we have not introduced ourselves. Oh, sorry. I'm Bernd Mia Payday. And I am Joan Pedestrian. And we are your hosts for the neighborhood. Listen, this is a look at the neighborhood of dignity falls via the,

the, the, the, the social networking application neighbor. Yep. And we're doing our best to stay at home and self isolate, but we, we can continue through teleworking to do this podcast and to still connect

with our neighbors as best as we can. Yes, because it's hard. I've been trying to go out on my little balcony, you know, my apartment and you know, my apartment and, you know, like people in Italy do and they all sing songs together and I can't sing. So

I do try to just recite famous speeches and see if anyone will join in. Oh, yes. Like much like they're doing back to so you're not getting any takers on that. What speeches are you reciting? It'll be like, ask not what your country can do for you. ask what you can do

for your country. Presidential speeches. Yes. Any famous speech. Have you ever been over a friend's house to eat and the food just ain't no good? Which one's that? The Sugarhill Gang, Rappers to Light. And, you know, I'm hoping that other people will join in, but so far, no takers. A lot of

people telling me to be quiet. Do you still have the elliptical jammed out there on that balcony yeah i sure do i sure do and you know do you use it at albert i can use it but i can only take very shallow steps on the elliptical it's not a big balcony it's not a big balcony so it's it's a very intense workout uh i i can't take great strides um i i feel like it almost is a better workout because it's a real strain to get anything going in that tiny little space. Well, this post right here. Oh, sorry. We haven't checked in with Doug yet. Oh, that's right. Your husband, Doug,

who is our sound engineer. Yeah, he's in the home gym today. Speaking of elliptical. That's right. That's what made me think of it. We do have an elliptical, but it's got a lot of space. Are you working out and recording, honey? I haven't started my workout yet. I'm just standing here recording.

Doug, walk us through the gym. What's in there? What's the equipment look like? Well, there's our old Nordic track in the corner. There's the equipment look like? Well, there's our old Nordic track in the corner. There's the belt that shakes you around that we got in the 80s. In the 50s, honey. Yeah, I've got that because I love a vintage workout piece of equipment, and I couldn't help it. And I always wanted to try it.

You know, you see that old footage of those women standing there. Sure. I will say it mostly just really messed up my hip alignment. Oh, I'm sorry. It really did. But the boys love using it on their face because they say it's a great, it's, I don't know,

for whatever reason, it's a great massage. So what they, they, they put their heads in the, in the. Yeah. Look,

do you want me to explain what my twins do every, I can't explain it. I certainly don't. It's, it's giving me nightmares sometimes. Do you, do you also still have that box? It's like a,

it's a, it's a hot box that you stick your head out the top of and, and then you can close it, and then there's a dial that goes all the way up to danger? Oh, you mean like a cryogenic, like the freezing where you can go in and do that, but the opposite? No, I thought it was like from old cartoons where- It's a cryogenic. It goes hot. It's pyrogenic? No, well, that's cryogenic. Oh, cryogenic. Sorry pyrogenic? Well, that's phryogenic.

Oh, phryogenic. Sorry, I know. I was thinking of the cool bit. I wanted to do the cool, and I wanted to have that in the home gym for forever. Cool sculpting? I'd love to do that. No, we don't have that, but we do have, and then of course it's a dance floor with a ballet bar so that I can do my dances. Five, six, seven, eight. Five, six, seven, eight and then yeah and then i have the um the tea from my

adult t-ball league in here and i practice i practice my swing how tall is that that t for the adult for the adult T-ball? Standard height. Really? Yay high. So you use the children's size T's, but you're just adults playing T-ball. So it's homeless golf. Yeah, you get under the ball.

Or you just bend at the knees really nice. Oh, sure. He sure does on that leap. He sure is missing it right now. They tried to do it virtually, but it was a mess. And thank God we don't have windows. Yeah, that's a big drawback for sports is you can't do it virtually. You really can't.

You really can't. It's not the same. It's not the same. So, okay. So he's down there. He's going to start a workout in a little bit. And I'm just going to share this post because this has to do with Connie, actually, Bert. And I'll explain to our listeners what I'm talking about.

So this says, teddy bear hunt from Lisa. Here, let me explain. She says, the teddy bears have been moved. See if you can find them. One is outside, not in a window. Total of three on St. John's Place. Remember, you can see slash find them. One is outside, not in a window. Total of three on St. John's Place. Remember, you can see slash find them all from the sidewalk.

Now, this says, yes, you may swing. If I see someone after they leave, I think it means swing by. I don't think it means swing. That's certainly it's not a time to swing. Well, I don't need your permission. That's right. Burnt. If I see someone after they leave, I spray and wipe down with disinfectant.

Happy Friday. Now, what this is, is as as as you guys might know, some neighbors are putting teddy bears in the window so that when the kids go on their walk for the evening, they can do a teddy bear hunt and spot them. Sort of like a very safe distancing Easter egg hunt. Now, the reason I bring this up to our listeners is because Bern thought this would be fun to do with Connie. So he has placed his ventriloquist dummy in the window, mouth agape, for kids to find? Although I don't know if there's only one dummy if it's so much as a hunt as just something that's terrifying for kids.

And I wanted to know how that's been going. Bernd, are families walking by? Are they concerned? I can say that I don't know if families are concerned. No one said anything to me directly. The police have been called in my apartment many times. People saying there's an intruder.

So I just had to explain to please look, this is like a three minute a baby situation. It is not. It's not a ghost. Are you referring to the cardboard cutout that was seen in a shot of Ted Danson? The people of urban legend that there was a ghost of a boy in that movie. That's right. That's right. I think we talked about this on the podcast before.

It may have come up because I think I think we did. We did mention before that i don't believe in ghosts but i do believe in ghouls that is correct but uh so so yeah people are not uh people are not thrilled with with connie being in the window um but uh i i was hoping that they get used to him as a sort of uh extra new neighbor and they grow fond of him. Yeah, I'm just I'm just not sure. I think teddy bears, you can see how teddy bears would be a much more sort of genteel, less offensive, perhaps less scary.

Offensive isn't the right word. Representation of a wild, vicious animal. How is that? How is that welcoming? Sure. You put that in your window. It's not a stuffed grizzly bear with claws, is it? How do I know? How do I know?

It's a Theodore Roosevelt type teddy bear. Listen, I will address this post aside from what you're doing with Connie in that I do think they should stay inside. I think it's wild that one woman put the teddy bear outside. Why would you do that? And then she has to walk out and spray and wipe down the teddy bear disinfectant. I mean, I thought the whole point was to keep everything behind closed doors, including stuffed animals. Yes. Because now you have an infected teddy bear.

And I don't know. I don't know how long it lasts on teddy bears. We're not getting all the science out yet. We know cardboard, plastic, copper, and metal, but not teddy bears. You might as well put a velveteen rabbit out there. Oh, boy. How about that book? What a downer was that book?

I never got to the end. What happens? I think that the boy does get better. Oh, that's good news. Yes, but it's real dicey for most of the book. You know, I don't know why. And this is what's happening now, too, because we're watching all these movies because, you know, we have nothing else to do. And there's so many children's films that are so, so dark and that put the children in such danger.

And I'm talking about old movies and new movies alike, you know, especially that Pixar. That put the children in danger? In danger. And Pixar's got kids in danger all over the place. Incredibles are shooting at them. And Monsters, Inc., the monsters are about to eat them. I mean it's non-stop. Joan, do you think this is why you see these movies and then your reaction is to give your children dangerous things?

He's referring to the fact that I gave my twins both a blowtorch and a flamethrower and I have already admitted that that was a gross oversight. We're not here to relitigate that. I'm just wondering if your response to children being in danger in films is to give your real-life children these dangerous weapons. Because they think that they have to defend themselves? That's what I was getting at. I just mostly wanted them to go away and just do their own thing and just leave me alone.

I hate to say it, but that's what it really was. Have you thought about video games? Oh, we tried that. We tried video games. Of course we did. It started so simply, right? We had video games and they would play Tetris and then they decided to do human Tetris. Everything that we played became human, right?

So we did human Tetris, which was them not only using anything in the house, like all the pillows that started fine, but then they were bringing over their friends and it was actual people using themselves as stacking themselves up. They did it in the house. They did it outside. We lost the place, play glass window. We lost a tree. We lost a dog. We lost a lot in the human Tetris year. I remember you got them that Nintendo and that was the summer they slaughtered all those turtles. They did. They did. It was awful. They would jump on them and then kick them.

And they punched all the bricks and there were so many broken fingers I cannot even tell you. And they both ended up trapped in pipes. They were, they don't even talk.

I had to get all new plumbing. I had to get all new plumbing. I get all new plumbing. The obnoxious, the way that they grew out their mustaches, the way that they talked in a very, very offensive Italian accent, the way that they wore overalls,

the way that they were trying to jump up on the top of the flag out in front from the roof, you know, and then they were just running around throwing coins at each other all the time. How many times I got hit in the goddamn eye with a coin? Yes. I can't even tell you. They're dangerous. They're dangerous.

So you understand. It's like, yeah, video games would be great if your kids were normal, if they would just stick with playing the actual video game, you know, on the screen. Have you thought about seeking professional help for the twins? Because they are lethal. I know. When I've done consultations, people have hung up. Mid-phone call.

I have been trying to talk to therapists about this. But I think so. I think it's rude, you know. I think that someone's out there that could help them. But about this, but I think so. I think it's rude. You know, I think that someone's out there that could help them. But so far, no one wants to. I mean, I'm just a pharmacist, but I would never I would never hang up in the middle of the in the middle of a call. Somebody saying, hey, I want some pills. I wouldn't I wouldn't just hang up on them.

Right. Although that person is probably trying to get pills for not the right reason. But but listen to me. Don't say just a pharmacist ever that I want to say thank you to the pharmacists right now and to all the service workers into the hospital. We're going to nurses, doctors. You know, you are you are you are doing a service now. And speaking of which, have you been allowed back into the pharmacy because you were spending way too much time there? They are allowing me to come to the front window and observe proceedings. They are not allowing me to come back inside yet. Now, I can't remember because time is a loop.

Did I do we already established that you weren't going into the pharmacy? We did indeed. We did last week. We established we established that I am no longer allowed inside the pharmacy because I was spending too much time there. Okay. Oh gosh, Bert,

you'll have to forgive me. I just, there's no timeline anymore. I just don't know. Time doesn't exist. It's a flat circle. I get up, I start drinking wine.

I don't stop. I don't go to bed. I watch terrifying Disney movies. I started all over again. I don't, I mean, I don't know my ass from my elbow is the old term. My dad used to say.

How many wines in are you now as it was recording? Well, now I'm mixing it. I'm mixing it. So it started with water because I'm running out, which is not great. But I do have a lot of hard liquor, but I'm just trying to stay away from that. But I'm in, I mean, it's not, it's not how, it's not how much wine, but it's how many cases. It's how many, I mean, I think, I mean, if you want to break it down, I mean, I know there's been 49 rosés. If you want to just break it down by color.

I was talking about today. So am I. So that gives you a little bit of an idea. I'm just mid-level drunk at all times I think it's you know and again I mean I'm not trying to say listen I promise you all I don't have a problem

I just I have a problem right now don't make promises you can't keep I'm not trying to make light of that I understand it's a difficult time for people this is just look when all the wine's gone there won't be any more and I won't go buy any more because I'm trying to make light of that. I understand it's a difficult time for people. This is just, this is look, when all the wine's gone, there won't be any more and I won't go buy any more because I'm trying to stay inside.

And so, you know, I'll just then I'll be done. But for now, I'm just going to live like there's no tomorrow with the wine. I'm not going to ration it. Who wants to ration wine? You know, what's fun about that? I have no answer to that question. Okay. I thought so.

So, anyhow. So, I would take Connie out of the window, is the point. And I would also bring that teddy bear inside. Whoever is putting that teddy bear outside. Yes. The idea is to keep them in the window, not for people to come up and touch them. Yeah. Which I would also tell people, if you see a teddy bear on a porch, don't touch it.

Don't touch it. And also, I'm worried about the police that keep having to come over to your house so that's why i would take connie out of the window because we need the police doing other things that are more i'd say more important than i couldn't agree more that that seems more an admonishment for the people calling the police on connie rather than me but uh i take your meaning yeah maybe it's on you a little bit what happened i said it's on you a little bit maybe jonah i don't think i've ever heard your voice go quite so high you a little bit. What happened? I said, get on you a little bit, maybe. Jonah, I don't think I've ever heard your voice go quite so high.

Well, you're not around when I'm doing my, you know, it's just because I haven't done it. When you're singing your numbers? 10, 11, 12. 525, 5,600. Is that what it is? 525,600 minutes. Yeah, that's right. Okay, so we what it is? 525,600 minutes.

Yeah, that's right. Okay. So we go to our break before we have our guest because we have another guest. I think we should. Thankfully, yes, we do have another guest and we will take a break and more when the neighbor listen returns. Hi, it's Nicole D. Free art project. I made this huge circular ball slash character head for an art project and didn't end up using it.

It's the size of a yoga ball. Could be good for a cat, a pet, or another art project. Just pick it up at my address. As you can see in the picture, it is a big ball, but there's a hole in it too. So that's where the cat can have fun. He can swat it around, or she. they could swat it around or crawl inside and then crawl out again. The possibilities are... They're not endless. But there's a few.

So my art project that I didn't use is now your art project for your cat to use or for you to use. You can bat it around. I wouldn't use is now your art project for your cat to use or for you to use. You can bat it around. I wouldn't use it as a yoga ball because it's covered with decoupage. And we did it again. We did it again.

We did it again. We did it again. We did it again. We did it again. Again. One, two, three. We did it again. Okay, now we've got it. Five, six, seven, eight. Five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three. Five, six, seven, eight. Well, we had it for a minute. We had it for a minute. We did. We did. Well, welcome back to the Dear Brotherhood. Listen, we had it for a minute. We had it for a minute. We did. We did. Well, welcome back to the day. We're listening.

Very excited to have this guest joining us via teleconference. This is, here's what's nice is that a lot of times we have posts where people are complaining about things where they're upset. And this is one where someone is happy. This could very easily be from someone else would be a complaint but this person is saying this person is saying uh this uh this is having an impact on me and keep going uh yes all right are you going to read it burnt yes i'm gonna i'm gonna read it this

comes to us from marawa m-a-r-a-w-a marawa wow okay and subject line, trombone treasure. The post continues. To whomever it is that lives around the Jimmy Carter Boulevard slash pine area, practicing their trombone scales and melodies. You are my favorite thing about this neighborhood. Also grateful for the easterly breeze that carries you into my yard most days. X, which means a kiss. And this is, I thought this was very sweet. And we tracked down Marawa. And we have Marawa here on the line.

Marawa, welcome to the Neighborhood Listen. Welcome. I have to tell you, welcome to the Neighborhood Listen. Welcome. I have to tell you, your show is an absolute gas. I'm thrilled to be here, and I'm thrilled to take in sounds whenever I can. Thank you, Marawa. That's right. It's a good thing. Am I pronouncing your name correctly?

Is it Marawa? You are. I was named by a psychic uh two years ago um my original name is mormone so marwawa marwawa was sort of the name that came to me uh i was on venice boulevard i was on venice beach excuse me oh i had a i had a tenor in my pocket ten dollar bill oh okay i thought you meant the actual singer that can sing high. I wondered, how would he sit in your pocket, Marawa? Wouldn't that be great?

I'd love a pocket tenor. Again, I love all four. That would be wonderful. And it's funny because out on Venice Beach, the breeze is westerly, which is so funny because where I live, it's easterly. And so the psychic said, Marawa. And I said, come on now. Yes. I'm sorry. I said, Kamana. You know? Why did they? Yes.

I'm sorry. I just had one question. Did you used to live in California before you moved here to Dignity Falls? I sure did. I lived on. Well, I don't know. I mean, it is California, but I lived in Hawaii. Ooh.

Wait. That's not California. I don't think that it is, no. I know, but you know what is? It is. And I'll tell you why. Because the shortest flight from Hawaii is California. So, you know, it's like when people say, oh, my birthday is July 30th, but you might as well say it's August 1st.

You know what I mean? Because you're so late in the game. I mean, I've never heard anyone say anything like that, but I understand what you're saying. Well, you haven't met my crowd, babe. Oh, I guess not. Well, what brought you to Dignity Falls all the way from Hawaii, California? I needed the world to shut the goddamn hell up. Oh.

Okay? Hawaii's full of tourists from this place, that place, this place, that place. That is true. I see Kansas. I see France. I see Australia's underpants. There you go. That's the Hawaiian joke we used to do. Is that the Hawaiian joke? And so I said, I gotta settle down

and I'm an aspiring music teacher, so I thought this will be perfect. I'll go to Dignity Falls. You know, and so I, you know, the kindergarten, or the pre, I don't know what it is. Kindergarten through second grade. Uh-huh. I think school years are very great here. Is there a term for that unit of time? That's not really a thing. K-2.

K-2. There's not many K-2 schools, I'm just going to say. My specialty is teaching children how to clap. And so by third grade, by third grade, they're just they get it, you know? They curse at me. And I can't be cussed at. Not so close to Easter.

Wait. They curse at you? You're saying you're trying to teach these children how to clap but they've already gotten to the point where they are annoyed at you for trying to teach them and they curse at you is that because they already know yes like i'll teach them how to well the songs i picked probably didn't have so i would teach them to clap to like twinkle twinkle little star which is harder than you think to me that's advanced okay well it depends on Star, which is harder than you think. To me, that's advanced. Okay. Well, it depends on what the—oh, in fact, Marawa, you would be interested to know. I don't know if you were—there was no way he could have listened.

He just got on the—he just jumped on the podcast. But we were discussing 5, 6, 7, 8 here. The song from Rent. That's not the song from Rent, Bernt. We've been over this. Bernt, I really think you should give Rent a chance Because not only would you know the correct number in that song You would be able to witness that

Famous lyric That's so brilliant you can't get over it Rent, rent, rent, rent, rent We're not gonna pay rent Everything is Rent It's really, it's sung a lot It's sung a lot You'd be surprised to know For a musical Rent, the actual title of the show is said so many, many times.

A lot of times so that you don't forget it, which I think was, you know, when you teach, for instance, in the third grade, by that point, they're so advanced, they're tired of clapping. I'm tired of hearing the word Rent. And so that's where their cussing came. Are you teaching them Rent? Yeah. The musical? Yeah. Children? Children? the word rent and so that's what their cussing came are you teaching them rent yeah the musical yeah children there's a lot of drug use and a lot of sex i don't care oh my oh wow that was so you have to understand i read fair enough you have to understand I'm from the West Coast. I'm from California. And Hawaii. Hawaii by proxy.

That's correct. But we're loose there, baby. I mean, that's just how we do, you know? So when you say you're an aspiring music teacher, are you allowed? I'm assuming you're not a music teacher for real. So how are you getting into these schools to teach these children? That is such, can I be honest with you? How do I get in?

I would love you to. How do I get in? How do you get into a grocery store? How do you get into your bedroom? You go in. Do you know what I mean? Yes. So I was on a grinder hookup once

with the vice principal of the school. Oh dear. Oh no, it was fine. We ate tapioca, that was it. It just wasn't, it wasn't going anywhere and so and so um i said to him like he said what are you doing and i had to make something up quick because i don't really have any skills and i said i'm an aspiring music teacher he goes come teach these children he just said that he would get inside that that's violating a lot a lot of laws that are you have to understand safe

joan oh yes i don't care that has been established you do not care so but but but the upshot is after a go nowhere tapioca date this gentleman invited you to come teach the children how to clap hey burt i didn't tell you where we where the tapioca off. No, you didn't. Yeah. Just stop that. You're not going to tell us? No, I'll tell you. Each other's heads.

Oh, okay. I thought you meant like a tapioca store or restaurant, not the location on your body. What? What? Okay, you keep saying my name, sir. I didn't say witch head. Oh, dear. Okay, you know what? This is bananas.

This is just bananas. Joan, what's the banana euphemism for? Oh, my God. This is like talking to my twins who turn absolutely everything into the penis. Well, you know, if you've got it, flaunt it. And boy, I've got it. Oh, please don't undress. Please don't undress, sir.

You like it? Oh. This is... We really would prefer if we all keep our clothes on for these. I mean, I'm not trying to restrict your freedoms, but at least tilt the camera up. Now, listen, Marawa, you said that you had no skills, but you know what you do? You have this, you have a skill of playing the trombone. And please don't make that about something that's not the trombone.

Let's actually talk about how you can play the trombone. Joan. The actual instrument. Joan. Yes. I don't play the trombone. I listen to the trombone. That's true, Joan.

He never said that he plays the trombone. I listen to the trombone. That's true, Joan. He never said that he plays the trombone. Oh, I'm sorry. Again. He is listening. But here's what's even more curious, is that he's listening to someone practice trombone scales and saying how much they love it. Sometimes I get a little bit confused. Is our guest the post or the postee?

I am. I am the, I don't know the post. I guess you are the, you are the postee. You are the person who posted this. What's the difference between the post and the postee? Well, the post would be the person in the post.

Oh, I see. The subject who I wish was kind of frankly sitting here right now. So you can play some trombone. Well, it's getting a little inappropriate for my lucky. Maybe if we're lucky, his neighbor will start up again and we'll hear it. That's right, because

look, I'm going to ask, what do you like about the trombone? And he's going to say something inappropriate. Well, maybe not. Let me ask. And so I'll take the burden off of you. Maybe it's better coming from you. Because I am curious what would be so enjoyable about hearing someone play the scales on a trombone. So let me ask you, what is so enjoyable about hearing someone play the scales on a trombone. So let me

ask you, what is so enjoyable about hearing someone play the scales on a trombone? Well, first of all, I think it's a very deep masculine sound. I hate the sound of string. I like the wind instruments. You hate the sound of string. Of the strings, of the strings. But second of all, the reason I like it, B-L-O-W. No, don't let him finish. Don't let him finish. Do you know what he's spelling? Don't let him finish. He spelled the word blow. Ugh. Whatever.

I'm sorry. Listening and teaching is my J-O-B. Oh, gosh! And he's doing shoulders with it. That's just... Pug joy in each letter. No, I'll tell you. I honestly just love the sound of the trombone.

I love any wind instrument. And I think it's... You know, the trombone is a very difficult instrument. To play a scale correctly on a trombone takes a lot of talent and a lot of lung work. And I admire that. Well, that can't be true. But I feel as if the trombone is...

Is it not a brass instrument? Whatever. Yeah, it's a brass. It's a horn. It's a horn. Yeah. Yeah, but that's a wind, isn't it? I think we call them, do we call them woodwinds?

No, no. You call, you call. Okay. So if you're, again, because I used to sing with symphonies, you've got, you've got your woodwinds and that's going to be a clarinet. That's going to be a piccolo. That's going to be an oboe. Right.

But if it's brass, which a trombone is, 76 trombones, right? It's going to be the horn section or the brass section, which is going to be your French horn, your trombone, your tuba, right? What about the saxophone, which has a reed? It has a wooden reed, and yet it's made of brass sometimes. Now, that's a good question because I could see that being both. Can I ask a question about brass? Please, Marawa. Okay, thank you.

Is that the thing that has the spit in it? Well, yeah, okay. So you have to constantly switch out reeds. That's correct. You have to clean out your woodwind instruments, yes. That's disgusting. Well, it can be. It's unsavory, for sure. instruments. Yes. That's disgusting. Well, it can be. It's unsavory, for sure.

Yes. Sure. It's unpleasant. But it's part of the job. You know, you've got to clean your instrument. Oh, God, this is just going to devolve into, this is just a nightmare, Bird. Could you open your window and see if maybe we can hear the trombone player working out? Is that what you call it?

Yeah. That is what you call it? Yeah. That is what you call it. You're the person who's so orchestrous, so I think you'd be the one to tell us. Is it called working out? It's not. Tuning up. Warming up. Practicing? Give me one second. Let me see if I can. Okay.

Farrah? Farrah! Farrah? Wait, I hear something. Oh, wait, I hear her. Farrah? Farrah? Farrah? Wait, I hear something. Oh, wait, I hear her. Farrah? Wait, is this like a Charlie Brown adult situation? Farrah? Is that just how she talks? Farrah? Farrah, how's your quarantine going? Better than I expected. Can I say, Marawa, from your post, I expected to be enchanted. Me too.

And that didn't sound good. Those were not scales. Those were not scales. And that didn't sound good. Those were not scales. Those were not scales. It sounded like someone who doesn't really play the trombone but happened to have one. Can I ask you a question, please?

Sure. Are either of you musicians or aspiring music teachers? Well, I'm certainly a musician. I'm the first. Joan is a musician. I'm absolutely a musician. I'm a vocalist. Well, crap. That should mean that we get along well.

I know you were going to try to stick it to me just now, sir. So we'd actually get along. No, I have to say, Joan, what I was going to suggest is Joan and Farrah in concert together. Would you like to sing to Farrah's music? I mean, I can try. Okay, Farrah. Farrah.

Farrah. I get, I am confused. Did she only, that sounded like she sneezed into it. Is she, is she only able to communicate via trombone? Well, let's ask her. Farrah? Okay, well. Are you able to communicate?

See? Crystal clear. What was that it sounds like someone is she perhaps yelling into the trombone you know i think she got it stuck a few months ago and i think are you hearing this doug are you hearing this doug answer immediately it's beautiful sounds great that's my husband doug all right let's listen to the trumpet again i mean the trombone so try It's beautiful. Thank God. It sounds great. That's my husband, Doug.

All right, let's listen to the trumpet again. I mean, the trombone. So try to sing, Joan. It's a trombone. Doug, are you hearing that? Doug? Sure am. Wait, let's hear a play again.

It sounds like a fugue. Oh. Wait, let's hear her play again. It sounds like a fugue. Oh, no, that was pretty good. That was good. So good. Was that Reveille? I believe that was Reveille. That did sound like Reveille. There you go.

See, is that what you wanted? Your voice is stunning, truly. Oh, thank you. No, I have to say, even with, it's a close race between your talent and Farrah's, but I have to say, you two would make a- Is it close? How close is it?

Unstoppable duo. An unstoppable duo? Well, I don't know about that. There's not many trombone vocalist duos out there. Not yet. Joan, let me ask you, what are the words to Reveille? Me? Yes.

Do you know? Does that song have lyrics? It's time to get up. It's time to get up. Ferris sounds like she's not doing too well. Well, Joan, what do you expect? We're in a quarantine. Right, but how does that affect her trombone playing,

if that's her specialty? Well, I guess she's just maybe getting a little depressed. It does sound like a bit of a depressed playing. No, she's never seemed better from my perspective, but you're right. Well, now she's playing the Imperial March. Here come the British actors.

Farrah, you're about to find yourself. I feel like things have gotten just a little chaotic. Let's close the window for just a sec. Farrah. If you could, Marawa. Farrah, I'm closing the window. Bye.

No, no. Yeah, you don't have to tell her. Just close the window. All right. That's good. Farrah, I'm closing the window. Okay. The window's closing.

Bye. Now, what's funny is in your post, you weren't sure who was making the trombone sound. Well, I still don't know. I call her Farrah because to me, the sound is as beautiful as Farrah Fawcett. I see. I see. Now, that is an image. Farrah Fawcett in that red bathing suit playing on the trombone.

Now, that's a poster I would buy. Was it a red bathing suit in that poster? It was a red bathing suit in that poster. Yes, I remember it very well. And can I jump? Can I be honest with you? Uh-huh. This is how disgusting this country has become.

She was wearing a one-piece. She was? What's wrong with that? Oh, you mean you missed those days? Yes. The days of the one-piece, right, right, right. Oh my goodness. Well, yeah, that's true. I mean, I can pick many other reasons why the country has sort of

fallen off the wagon other than just the one piece situation. But can I ask you what you would go ahead, please go ahead. I'm so sorry. I was just going to ask, what's the song that lifts your spirits these days? Is there a song you're bopping to? Is there a song you're bopping to? I'm trying to think of a, I mean, you know, for the podcast purposes, I'm trying to think of a song that I'm allowed to, it's pretty much only public domain songs these days that keep me happy.

I see. I love public domain songs. I love them. The farmer in the dell, the farmer in the dell. Hi-ho the Dario, the farmer in the dell. She'll be comingry-o the farmer in the dell she'll be coming around the mountain when she comes when she comes she'll be coming around the mountain when she comes when she comes she'll be coming around the mountain she'll be coming around the mountain she'll be coming around them is that the only lyrics that's all there is no and then she'll be riding the horses oh riding six white horses what is this story about? Who is this woman? It's about the apocalypse, really.

You think it's because of a pale horse. Six white horses. I guess that's true. Is that the last installment or is there a third? I think there's something about the horses have diadems on their heads. No, I don't think so. In the song? I don't know.

I've never heard that song all the way through. I usually tune out because it just seems like they're describing the journey. I don't know. I've never, you know, I've never heard that song all the way through. Uh, I, I usually tune out because I, it just seems like they're describing the journey and I just wanted to get there. Right. It's very repetitive as we just found out. It's very,

I think, I think that was designed so that everybody could sing along with it. Uh, uh, and so they weren't, if they, they didn't know what the first line was going to be and then they just repeat it and they're like,

okay, I can jump in anytime. Uh, and then, uh, okay, I can jump in anytime. And then I know that they get as far as we will all go out to greet her when she comes. Oh, there it is. They're planning ahead what they're going to do. But I don't know if she ever gets there at the end of the song. Right, right.

I wonder if it's like one of those. You know how it's strange that especially because we're in sort of an odd, ominous time. It's strange that, especially because we're in sort of an odd, ominous time, how many children's songs and children's lullabies are actually born from dark situations or just the lyrics? I mean, if you think about Rockabye Baby, which is incredibly dark, I'm having to sing them a lot because I don't know if I mentioned this. We mentioned this on another podcast. We actually were guests on another podcast, Bernd. And now the situation has resolved itself. But I was quarantining with a baby last week because Jal because July had a baby over here and she was watching it.

Right when all this shit went down, the parents called. They said, we can't come over. One of us has carpal tunnel syndrome. We're immunocompromised. You keep the baby. Keep that baby away from us. And I tried to tell them that was not an issue. And I ended up having to keep that damn baby for a week.

I didn't know if I'd be homeschooling it all the way to college. Is the baby still there? No, I just said they came to their senses and they came and got the baby. We had to do an air drop. What? I don't really mean, I just mean that we had to sort of float him out

on a, we didn't want to touch anything, right? But we also didn't want to put him on the ground because, and we didn't want to use a basket because again, then you have to bleach the basket. We didn't want to touch anything, right? But we also didn't want to put him on the ground because, and we didn't want to use a basket because again, then you have to bleach the basket. We didn't want to bleach around babies. Moses, sure. So we put him on, exactly.

So we put him on the hook of a fishing pole and we just stretched him out and then they held, they're the ones that held the basket. We dropped him off safely and they pulled him into the car. But the point of this story was is how many lullabies I was singing

and, you know, Rock-A-Bye Baby and, you know, the, what's the other one? Ashes, Ashes. We all fell down. Ring Around the Rosie. Which was about,

wasn't that about a play? Absolutely about the Rosacea. Yes. Absolutely. Not Rosacea. I don't think it was about Rosacea. I don't think it was about Rosacea.

No, it is. It is. Ring Around the Rosie, right? Anda no it is it is ring around the rosy right uh and the point of the song is ring around the rose a pocket full of posies because you want to match your rosacea to the flowers uh then why would you want to do that and how could you control that to distract from your face all right well you would carry around a bunch of posies and then people will be looking at those.

They wouldn't be looking at your, uh, your red face. Exactly. And then ashes, ashes. We all fell down just as meaningless. It's not.

That was just to finish the song. Well, what do you think it's about? I just needed to fill it in. They just need to placeholder words to put in there. Exactly. I hate to tell you, it's much darker than that, Marawa. And that's what I'm just so shocked at.

This was a song that children sing, and I don't know if they sing it anymore. But, my Lord, it is kind of unsettling to sort of not be able to find songs for children that are terrifying. It feels like a song that would be in that movie Midsommar. That feels like what they sing. Oh, definitely. Definitely. Like, anytime a lullaby is used in a movie, get the hell out. Whoever's on screen, get the hell out.

Oh, God. That one, too. Freddie's coming for you. Oh, I didn't like that one. No, too scary. Too scary. Yeah. From Nightmare on Elm Street?

Yeah. You got the kids to clap along to that well first i showed them the movie so they knew what they would be clapping along no that's not right you should show children a horror movie how old were these kids well they were first first grade i'm sorry you mean okay yeah and first in life i think they're all going to do great what are you what is what is your job What is your job here now? I mean, are you ever going to actually become a licensed music teacher? Well, I had an extraordinarily difficult and messy divorce, after which I was framed for murder that I didn't do. So I got a divorce settlement,

and then I got money from the government for being framed. You really bury the lemur. We almost are out of time. And now we only can now unpack this quite an 11th hour revelation it really is well i don't think it's that big a deal you're at you ask how i made money i mean i don't really we shouldn't have wasted so much time on farah well you're living you're living off a government settlement for a wrongful uh conviction or wrongful accusal were you even convicted well uh no, no, I wasn't. It was a very long... I was convicted. I was in prison for two months, but then they found the dirt on the other guy,

literal dirt, and he was the one who pushed her into the quicksand. So it ultimately was not my fault. What? What an incredibly difficult death to first of all detect, but then also to convict someone of pushing someone into quicksand.

It was horrible. It was horrible. Where did this happen? Oh, we have so many questions, so little time. I know. Outside of Reno. So some quicksand pit somewhere outside of Reno. I think the town is called quicksand pits.

Well, if you were in prison for only two months, you must have just gotten to Dignity Falls. What with the Hawaii and the Reno? I just, listen, I got here, but it feels like home. I feel like I've known you all forever. I mean, how many people are there even to know? What's the size of this? 50, 60,000, something like that? Something like that or larger. Or bigger. Well, listen, I mean, again, we're running out of time, but I guess what I would like to impart to you is that it'd be great to go get yourself educated. You could even do it in this day and age. You could do it. I'm an educator.

Well, now, to be fair, you said you were an aspiring educator, which is not the same thing. It's not the same thing. And in a court, it would certainly not be the same thing. And no one's trying to win. We just we just want the best for you. But also for the kids. What was that noise? What was that noise?

I'm so sorry. Are you okay, Marawa? No, I took out my trombone and tried to play it, but I have no talent for it. I can't do it. You've had a trombone this whole time. Yes, I bought one after Farrah, whatever the hell that person's name is, was playing so beautifully. And, you know, the Easterly Winds. And I thought, well, if I just face how Farrah faces,

and it just didn't work out. Well, listen, I do hope that you get yourself some sort of certification so that you can, when it's time to go back to school, I would like it if you were legally allowed to go into those schools. And if it's your passion, then that's fantastic. You should follow it. Thank you. Maybe just back it up with a diploma. schools. And if it's your passion, then that's fantastic. You should follow it.

Thank you. Maybe just back it up with a diploma. Yes. And then you could probably teach them something other than clapping. Yeah, maybe branch out. Maybe you could take this time right now that you have in isolation to learn a new skill. Or a skill. I've literally never been so inspired in my life.

Thank you for seeing the good in me and the good in this country and the good in this town. Well, that's what we do try to achieve here on this podcast. So thank you very much for being with us, Marwa. And please stay safe. I will. You too, Berndt and Joan. Okay. Well, thanks.

That was nice. Thank you, Marwa. Thank you. That was nice. You can, I mean, okay. This is awkward because he's still on the screen. I don't know what we do, Bert. What should we do? I assumed he would go away, but he has

stayed there in the screen. All right. Well, we will take a break. No. See, he thinks he's gone. He thinks he's gone, and it was correct. He's not wearing pants. He's not wearing pants, and I was right about that. And he thinks, he doesn't know that we can hear him. They made me cry. They're so rude.

We didn't make it. What? How come she has kids and I can't even take care of any? Come on now. Wow. This is. Farrah. Okay.

Okay. We're going to go. We have to take a break. When we return, we will wrap up The Neighborhood Listen. neighborhood listen. This is Lawrence. Bird parrot cage, $70. Large bird cage, approximately 6 foot tall

by 4 foot wide and 2.5 feet deep. bar spaced 1 inch apart. It's definitely a cage that was used for birds. Most certainly for birds, not for anything else. I no longer have use for it as the bird is gone. Sheep, I mean it, is gone. And miscellaneous items inside the cage included. And welcome back to the neighborhood. Oh, I was going to try. That was a real failure.

I know, you know, you were looking away. I should have waited for you to, to be looking at me. You should have. I'm sorry. I was just dealing with escrow. He's actually sick of us. I can tell. At first, dogs were excited to – come here, buddy. Because the owner is home all day. Because the owner is home all day, and now they don't get the adrenaline rush of a dog coming in, of a dog coming in, sorry, of a human coming back home.

And so now, you know, Escrow just looks at me like, ugh, you again? Like, what? This is just boring. So boring. So, sorry. Hi. So, anyways. Welcome back to the Neighborhood Listen.

Oh, I thought. Oh, no. Well, now Escrow is kissing my face so i missed it it's okay it's fine you know just continue just continue well we just we just have time for one more uh uh one more post here and uh this one is uh this comes from leah and leah writes uh goldfish does anyone know anywhere I can buy a goldfish? I'm trying to find one for my daughter to take care of while home. Thank you. Oh, dear. That's tough because I've seen this happening. A lot of people are rescuing pets during this time because they have now time to sort of take care of them or foster them.

A lot of people live in isolation. They're taking care of a pet because they need some company in the house, which is understandable. That's why I got Connie. But not exactly the same thing, but I think they're okay. Okay. The,

the goldfish thing. It seems like it's, this is a very easily searchable thing, isn't it? It does seem searchable. But again, I think, is she more concerned as to how to procure one during these trying times? Or is she just hoping to get one? I hadn't thought about that, of course, because pet stores would not be open. They're not essential.

They should definitely not be open. But wait, you have to buy food for your pets. So wouldn't they be open? I don't know. I know that we ordered food online for our dogs, so I'm not sure. And I also make escrow's food, especially. Yes, that's right. You home cook all

escrow's meals. Yes, I do. I do a sort of bim-bim-bap, and I do a... look it's his favorite i don't know what to tell you he loves it he loves it look it's his favorite I don't know what to tell you he loves it he's a very cultured very cultured I don't know it's really involved I mean it honestly takes up half of my day but

anyhow you don't have to keep it so authentic I know Doug but I just love that animal I love that animal so much you know whatever I remember the Christmas that you cooked us grow the feast of the Seven Fishes. I did. I

did. July P, are you listening in on this? I just heard her laugh. Don't even try to pretend. I heard her laugh. Okay. Anyways, I have no idea what she's doing. But yes, I did the Feast of the Seven Fishes and I've never done that before. Never going to do it again. It was

yeah, it was, I mean, again, a lot of dead fish, a lot of dead fish carcasses in the house. Plus twin boys, not a good, not a good combination. A lot of work, a lot of labor intensive meal for a dog, a lot of work, and a lot of fish skeletons hidden all over the house. Um, but, uh, anyways, and you know why that was during the time that they were doing all the stuff with the Mario and all the fish skeletons. There's one level where there's fish skeletons that are basically swimming around in one of the dungeon levels. So they were using those for that, too. And I think that's why that happened.

Anyway, what were we talking about? Oh, I can't remember, Birds. The goldfish. Where did I find a goldfish? I'm 93 bottles in. Take it down and pass it around. I'm 93 bottles in. I'm 95. We were talking about this. Leah wants to find a goldfish for her daughter to take care of. Oh, right. So I think that maybe he's just,

is he hoping that someone has an extra goldfish? Is he hoping that, or she? Is it he or she? Forgive me. Leah. I would imagine it's a she. Perhaps. Who knows? Don't want to assign it to someone who is not here to speak for themselves. But this individual, I think is just, you know, it's kind of, oh gosh, it makes me sad that they're hoping just a goldfish will help pass the time.

I mean, here's the problem. Goldfish sometimes don't, you got to be really careful with goldfish. They die quite easily. I would hate to bring something. Like they want to. It's like I had a goldfish when I was a kid and it was strange. It was silver. It was a goldfish that we got at a carnival, but it was actually not gold. It was kind of silver. And this goldfish was odd. This goldfish, every time we put it in my father's den, so we didn't go in there a lot. We'd go in there to feed him. And every time we went in there to feed him, he started flipping around in his bowl like crazy, almost like he wasn't used to seeing people, almost like he was going a little insane.

And I'm not kidding you. One day we walked in, and he was on the ground. Hand to God, he had flipped himself out of the bowl and said, I'm done with this cruel bowl, and I'm going to land on the ground. And I, I mean, it was, it was pescicide. So that was it. He was done. He was done. Oh, he died. Yes.

Did you name him? Eyes wide open on the, on the carpet. Done. Like, like one of those riddles. Like how, how did it, you know, how did that happen? Exactly. Stabbed with an icicle. And I placed my hand over his eyes. Exactly. Or hung himself on an ice cube. I know that riddle.

Hung himself on an ice cube? Explain it, Doug. I didn't say it right. What is that one again? I didn't say it right. You find a man. Right. Hanging. And there's nothing in the room except a puddle on the floor. Underneath him.

A puddle of water underneath him. Underneath him. So it was a block of ice when he stood up. Yeah, that one's actually not that hard to figure out. Well, now that you know the answer, but you have to go back to when you didn't. Well, if you're... So the entirety of the riddle is, there's a man hanging. There's no furniture in the room.

Underneath him is a huge puddle of water and i have heard when i first heard it i'm embarrassed to say i've heard it i've heard variations of it where there is an ice tray close by too yes i haven't heard that one they might have been taking it easy on me but there's a giant sized ice tray like when people do that that three-dimensional chest or whatever where they have the life-sized chest that they move around? Now I'm lost. I suppose I'll just three-dimensional. I just meant an

ice tray like from a freezer filled with water. One of the things was gone. So it's all completely filled with water. One of the things was gone. One of the ice molds is empty. One of the ice bulbs, did you say? Okay, this is, I mean.

Molds, molds, Bert. Molds, molds. One of the compartments for ice. So not a large ice cube, but a literal ice cube that you put in a drink. It was just enough for this gentleman to hang himself. Do you know what's interesting, Bert, is when I first heard that, when I was a younger person, I thought it was a teeny ice cube. And I just thought, well, now that's just silly. You mean you only needed that extra bit of lift to get up there?

I just thought that was so weird. And it wasn't until later I went, oh, like a huge ice cube, a huge block of ice. Exactly. I thought that was, it was too dainty otherwise. Anyhow, yikes, we really devolved on that. I don't know how to get you a goldfish of ice. Exactly. That was, it was too dainty. Otherwise, well, I anyhow, yikes, we really devolved on that.

I don't know how to get you a goldfish lady or man. Um, I don't know. I'm just worried that if you get a goldfish and then it dies, that will be even more depressing in your household right now. Uh, gold, that dead,

that goldfish is death on your hands. And, uh, you have to go out, have a, a funeral for the goldfish. If you don't flush it because the children, a lot of times they insist on a hands and uh you have to go out have a funeral for the goldfish if you don't flush it because the children a lot of times they insist on a funeral uh they go in the backyard and they

want to say a few words um so uh yeah i i don't know i guess if you have a goldfish to spare you probably have dozens to spare i don't know of anyone who has just uh two goldfish right um and they're saying yeah i'd really like a two is more than I can handle. I really I really wish I'd just gotten the one. Isn't it weird that koi fish are goldfish who just been let to run riot? Is that true that they're gigantic goldfish? They're just gigantic goldfish. Goldfish will grow as large as their environment is.

Isn't that wild? Well, then how come koi fish don't get as big as the entire pond? I don't know. Maybe they were moved from that after they were fully grown. They were in a big bait tank and then they were moved to the pond after they were done growing. They did all their growing. I didn't think this all the way through. I just know the first fact.

Not the follow-up facts. From what I understand, lobsters continue to grow throughout their entire lives. Is that right? That's what I've heard. Just like your nose, which is bad news for me. I've not heard that your nose continues to grow. Yes, it does. Look it up.

Oh, excuse me. Joan, I hate to say this. You're a mean drunk. I'm a mean drunk. Oh, no. I'm teasing. Of course, I'm teasing. I don't. You're a mean drunk. I'm a mean drunk? Oh, no. I'm teasing, of course. I'm teasing. I don't want to be a mean drunk, but I am drunk.

You are drunk, but you're a nice drunk. Okay, good. Well, Joan, I think we got to wrap this up. Yeah. What a pleasure to see you again. I'm sweating. That was a lot, that episode. That was a lot.

That Marawa was really something else. And then the goldfish controversy. Well, we'll have to leave it there. was a lot that episode that was a lot that was a lot marawa was really something else and then the goldfish controversy um well we'll we'll have to leave it there but of course if you'd like to write to us if you if you'd like to share a post that perhaps we missed from dignity falls uh screen cap uh uh uh posts on the neighbor app that you find interesting and send it to us at burnt and joan at gmail.com. Yes. And we will, I guess we'll be back next week with another episode.

Everybody stay safe, stay inside. Stay safe, stay, stay safe. Stay safe, stay inside. Stay inside. Well, make it a song. Why don't you make it a song, Joan? You're so good at this. Stay safe, stay inside.

From the virus you gotta hide. Stay safe. Stay inside. Unless you have twins, then get outside. That was personalized for me. It was. So if you

match up with Joan's exact situation, that song is for you. Sorry about that. Next time I'll make it more universal. Okay. Okay. That's all there is. That's all, folks. We will see you next time. Until then, goodbye.

Oh, no, no. Together. Goodbye. And bye.