The Neighborhood Listen - Vehicle: One with Michaela Watkins

Episode Date: June 23, 2026

Joan shares the opening number of her musical, Burnt finishes a popular TV series, and Doug bounces around. Later, they welcome Kevin (Michaela Watkins), a neighborhood watchdog who filed a report on their neighbor.Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for the Maximus plan to unlock this episode and ALL seasons of The Neighborhood Listen ad-free, as well as full length exclusive BONUS ROOM episodes adventuring deeper into Dignity Falls!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website. Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad-free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of the bonus room, go to CBBWorld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership. And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. Knock, knock.

Who's there? Your neighbor. Good. In Dignity Falls, you're never alone. You've got the neighbor half app and us. Burn. And Jod. From coyotes to mail theft to weird things to sell.

We'll cover it all. And meet new neighbors as well. We'll chat about any posts you're missing. So just tune in to the neighborhood listen. Welcome once again to the neighborhood listen. This is the podcast that explored the neighborhood of Dignity Falls through the eyes of its residents, two of whom are your humble hosts. I am half of that equation.

My name is Burtmea Payday. I'm the pharmacist in chief at the Dignity Falls, Dignity Falls Macy Pharmacy. And with me as always is. I really think we should shorten that name for you. Why? You heard yourself to say it just now, right? It almost sounded like you said the same thing three times. It has that effect.

I think that's the fun of it. It sounded like you said, Dignity Fallsmacy, Dignity Fallsmacy. Dignity Fallsmacy. Oh, that's a good warm up. But I didn't. That's right. up there with Mitch McConnell's milkshake madness. Mitch McConnell's milkshake madness.

One of my favorites, as everyone knows. It's just short. I mean, we need to make it shorter. The turtle tortured the tardigrade. Oh, that's good. Is that a good one? Tartagrades, those are crazy. Doug loves Tardagrades.

The space animals? You think they're so adorable. They're pretty cute. They are pretty cute. For a thing that doesn't have a face, most things that are cute, have faces? But that's just a cute monster. It is a cute monster.

Yeah. A cute microscopic monster. I am Joan Pedestrian and I am the top realtor in Dignity Falls and top local actress. Do you know what? I thought of another one for, instead of saying amateur. Oh, yeah. If you could say citizen actor. Maybe.

Well, you made a big face. So I guess that wasn't good. I also paused. It was a one-to punch. Oh, the pause really. paused and I made a face. The pause said, I shivered down my spot. There's nothing,

citizen immediately sounds, what do I want to say? It sounds medical. Medical. It sounds clinical. That's the word I'm looking for. Clinical. You know what I mean? It sounds cold.

Local, it sounds, you know, friendly. Sure. Family, neighborly. Yes. Right. You know what? I withdraw. Thank you.

I'm glad you. Do you know what you did wrong? Sorry, I don't mean to reprimand you like that burn it. Obviously, we know it's the feminine overdrive talking. Yes. Is that a T-shirt? Feminine overdrive? Mm-hmm.

I don't see why not. I think that'd be a great. I think the answer is yes. I don't see why not. There's so many words. And now I just feel like, I feel like, no, it's not a good idea is what you want to say to me. What?

I feel like it wasn't a good idea in your mind. Why? I immediately said yes. Okay. It was kind of like, you know what is the equivalent of? You said, I don't know why not. How about just yes? Oh, I see.

I'm just looking for more direct communication for things. This is what I'm saying. I have to do my, don't make my brain do extra work. I'm not going to do that. I apologize. Am I yelling? You are yelling. I'm sorry.

Okay. I'm sorry. But yes. Anyways, we mentioned Doug, so we should say hi to him. He's always. We don't want to have to be. Hey, it's check off Doug. I'm trying to mention him.

And you have to address him. Hi. Whoa. Doug, new sign on from Doug. That was fun. Yeah, you like it? What inspired that? Yeah.

Did you decide to go from a laugh right into your greeting? There was zero preparation for that. Wow. I believe that. It just came out. I absolutely believed that. Well, yeah, that's not surprising. Yeah.

I could even do a hi. Oh, okay. Thanks for those. Could you do one more take, please? Hi. It's verging into Roger Rabbit's Artertory. Yeah, I don't. I don't want to go there.

Or Woody Woodpecker. Oh, Wood a woodpecker. Who says it like that? It reminds me. It puts one in mind of Wood a wood of woodpecker. You're on a Woody Woodpecker's on the stand Because he's an innocent bird Your name is Woody Woodpecker

Is that correct sir? Remindy you are under oath Boy, he sucked Woody Woodpecker He sucked He said nothing for me As a kid I remember I was always on the Walrus's side The only thing that sucked for me

About Woody Woodpeck Woodpeck You can't say it, babe You can't say it normally It's like Benedict Coverbatch Trying to say Penguin Do you remember that? Or you with Rollerica Costa.

Yeah, you say roller coaster. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Rolla coaster. Rolla coaster. But it's like how, go on. The thing that sucks about Woodpecker is he was on at 6 a.m. Was he?

I mean, for me, he was. Really? Yeah, so it's like the only way to catch him. Oh, Doug grew up. We have a, we have, there's a random, like, meridian in Digny Falls that has his own times. I hate that random. 16 minutes ahead of the rest of the town. Yes.

Doesn't show up on most phones. It doesn't show up on most phones. Because I remember specifically, because Woody Woodpecker came on at 6.16 in our house, but it came in at 6 a.m. in your house. Yeah, but I would try to get up early as a kid for the Saturday morning content. And I would always just pick up the end of Woody Woodpecker.

It was pretty good. You kind of said it. You said Woody Woodpecker. Oh, progress. Good job, babe. Progress. Doug is in the... Shepard Ferry should make a painting of you.

Ooh. Having just finished saying Woody Woodpecker, and then it says progress. I like it. Doug is in... He's on a theme right now. So we had... He was just building a human claw machine. Right.

And he's in the life-size pinball machine today. Oh, no. That sounds extremely dangerous. He says that it's going to be like a big Nerf ball. Why don't you explain it, babe? Now it sounds slow. It's going to be like a big... Nerf ball.

You don't always have to say what I say, babe. You don't have to. If I'm wrong, you can correct me. Because I don't know what's going on in there. Outside the door is a huge, you know, pull, what do you call them? Pull-tab. A plunger. Plunger.

We don't call it pull-tap. It's sort of a reverse plunger when you think about it because it's pushing something in. Well, I think plunger does not only refer to the toilet plunger. I think there's many things that could be called plungers. Like what? Like the thing on a pinball machine. Now, if that's your only answer, burnt, then I think we're one in one. Should I look it up?

Please do. Okay. But you're right, baby. You make a very good point. But what I want, what I really want to do with it is to be, what I really, really want is to be in the, in the ball. I see. Oh, you want to do like a hamster ball.

Yes. That would be horrifying, babe. Well, you, I mean, it's thrilling. But I mean, it's. It would shatter your skeleton, I think. I say horrifying. He says thrilling. Let's call the whole thing off.

If you're in, have you seen those people play like soccer with those giant human balls? Yeah, but that's not being like hit by. Let's not say human balls. Just a gigantic plastic, inflatable balls. Can we just say that? Yeah, let's just put the word like plastic.

They're balls for humans. They're balls that humans go in. Okay. Yeah. I'm not sure why you said that. Instead of come out of, which is the normal way. Yes

So the giant human ball Will go through the shaft of the Oh boy This is just stop, babe You know what? People do like clips And put them online And that's what they're going to

This fabulous episode When we're going to talk about Many other things That's what they're going to take from it Human ball is coming down a shaft All right We're going to come back to you I'm going to let you think through

How you want to describe it There's bumpers We know We know I mean it'll be like an Adam's family machine Are you excited? It's Adams family themed?

Well, that's the number one pinball machine of all time. I didn't know that. Yeah. Guys, I don't know anything about pinball machines. It's the most sought after. It is. The last one, the one everyone hates the most, is the real time with Bill Maher pinball machine. Well, there was a 60 Minutes one, which we had in the tavern.

Yeah. A plunger. A part of a device or mechanism that works with a plunging or thrusting moving. Wow. Stand corrected. Yep. Oh, it's also a person who gambles or spends money recklessly. By the way,

Tardigrade. Yes. Also called. One second. The example is he is a plunger when it comes to spending money for news. What? Your Honor, Woody Woodpeck is a plunger. He's a bit of a plunger, Your Honor.

And what he's been doing is he been plunging for the news. He loves to be, he's a very well-informed boy. I feel like that goes into a rabbit hole where if you ever use that in a sentence in that way, you have to then define it for everyone because no one knows what you're talking about. Absolutely. Yeah, that's not, it's not worth it.

No. Just like saying, I don't know why not. You know what I mean? You're really holding on that. I'm sorry, I am. I thought it was a fun response. It was kind of like someone making a joke and you just went, that's funny.

Moss Piglet. That's what it felt like. Moss Pigley? Moss Piglet. What's that? Tardigrade nickname? What's a tardigrade nickname? Moss Piglet.

Yeah. Oh, okay. Isn't that sweet? I guess it's sweet. I guess it's sweet. It sounds like a Star Wars. It sounds like a Star Wars character. It does.

I got you too, Moss Piglet. Oh, boy. How are you doing? How are you doing? Solo. We've done a lot of Star Wars voices this year. Solo. So we truly have solo.

I got to solo. Fuck you, Mos Piglet. Go fuck yourself. Fuck you, Mos Biglet. Sometimes I like to do heated rivalry because all they do is tell each other to fuck off. Now, Joan, I was very excited because, you know, I finally watched all of heated rivalry. Oh, you did. And I was, uh, I was, well, now you remember this.

Should we tell them what happened? Yes. And, uh, I said, you know, episode five, I said the second of last episode. If anyone doesn't want to have it spoiled, turn it off now. Really, really, uh, really amazing episode. And then, um, and you said, uh, second, second of last. Because you described. He said the second last, we can talk about it because I just gave a spoiler.

Yes. The second to the last, he says, he just texts me, oh, when he says I'm coming to the car, when they run down and kiss each other on the ice skating. Yes, the one, the other characters, we see their story because they win a big game, and then he invites his boyfriend to come down onto the ice with him, and it's a huge thing.

And then separately, the heated rivals are watching this on television, and then they have this wonderful moment at the end, and we're going to get together. And then that's when I found out that you didn't realize there was another episode. Nope. I still haven't seen it. You still haven't seen it.

I forgot about it until this moment. It's absolutely true. Are you saving it? You got to that. I thought it was a great ending. You got to the same last one. I thought it was a great ending. That is that.

Well done. You stuck the landing. Weird that in episode nine. It ended in episode nine. That's weird. Episode seven. It didn't even occur to me because it was a pretty great. I thought it was a great ending.

Great ending. We can't talk about it then because I got to go watch it. And then we'll have to talk about it. You do have to watch it. I can't believe that's never happened in my life. You know, normally, Netflix can't wait to, or whoever it is, can't wait to, like, shove the next episode down your throat. That's true. And that didn't happen.

Escro, calm down. Why is Eskroar barking now? Eskro's barking, because he thinks he's a cat. He's actually meowing. I took him to a dog psychologist. How can you tell? I took him to a dog psychologist. And he talked to him for a little bit.

He just put his hand on his paw, put his head against his head. And he was like, oh, I get it. He thinks he's a cat. And so... This was a dog psychologist? It was, yeah. This sounds like a dog psychic to me. No, that's different.

I've also taken him to a psychic. He thinks he's... He thinks he's Mitsy Gainer. Reincarnated. Yes. So he's got a lot going on in his brain. Imagine being reincarnated. First of all, you're an entertainer.

Yes. You're a triple threat. You're a triple threat. You can do it all. An underappreciated one. And then you're reincarnated as a dog. And then you live way past the time when you should die again.

Yes. And now you're in this decrepit body. I honestly think that he seems happier now. So those aren't like unhappy barks. So he's letting his, he's being, he's letting his cat voice fly. Sure.

Speaking of letting voices fly. What if you just said speaking of letting? Let me talk now. I cannot wait to use that in a conversation. That'd be great. Speaking of letting, let me talk now. We practice letting in this marriage.

Yeah. I have, I've made a lot of progress on my musical, on something's got to give the musical, which is the new thing I'm working on that's going to be at the playhouse. They're letting me do that. Nancy Myers. The world premiere of something's got to give the musical. Nancy Myers, yes.

Mitch McNaught might actually like it because there's turtlenecks involved. That's true. Boy, that's true. I know, but we don't want to talk. I think we've managed to not speak his name this entire season. I could be wrong. Please don't spit. I spit into a cup.

I just hate him. Mitch Bingott, of course, is my arch nemesis. He's the critic who never can say a nice thing about me in the papers. And he goes out of his way to say mean things. He goes out of his way to say mean things. That's right. Set me dead flowers at the premiere of my last show. That's right.

But I have the beginning song. Well, a little bit of it. Can I try it out for you? Yes. And again, this is not the song Something's Got to Give, which is an established song. It is called Something's Got to Give, but it's not that song. That's right. Like, you know, when they do the Back to the Future, the Musical.

Like, and if they... They don't use the song Back to the Future. There are words. Did you not realize it? Back to the future we will. It has lyrics. It has words to it. What is that music?

Is that the score? That's the theme. Yes. Who remember? that. Who composed that? Maybe Alan Silvestry. I don't know.

He wrote it. The Game of Throleth John Williams. Is it Silvestry? It is Sylvester? I thought it was Sylvester. Okay. All right.

But I don't know. No, that's okay. I know of one Sylvesterie. Okay. Who's a comedian named Max Silvestri. All right. Well, I'm letting you have to... That's the only Sylvester I've ever heard out loud.

Anyways, it doesn't matter. Do you want to hear it or not? I do want to hear it. Okay. This is a real... Wait, ask me again. Do you want to hear it? 1,000% I do.

I don't see why not. What did you say, babe? I don't see why not. Oh, yeah. That's exactly. Are you trying to be, you're trying to get on my bad side, babe? What are you doing?

You're stirring the pop. That's not, you're not practicing the pop. Yeah, you're starting to pop, Doug. I've always been afraid of this. You're really catching on it. He really has, actually. That's not what he said, babe. I think it's good you hide the post.

Doug learned about spontaneous combustion and he's constantly. worried about it. Oh, when I was a kid. Can you imagine. Reading about that in the book of lists? In the book of lists? Yes. Oh. Are you not familiar?

No. When I was a kid, it was on the, it was on the toilet tank of every family in the neighborhood. It was a very, it was literally a book of various lists of things. No, I didn't know that. I just thought like jokes or like history facts were always in there. Oh, sure. In my house. Sure, sure.

But I replaced it. with Donnie McCackney's biography. Who is that? I'm going to pretend you didn't say that first. Okay. Now pretend somebody else said it and then answer them. I'm going to pretend you didn't say it. And I'm going to answer it to everybody else who was wondering.

She is the original Cassie from a chorus line. Okay. God, I'm a dancer. Come on. Anything? ringing any bells? Most amazing dance sequence in the middle of a song, belting her ass off.

It was a marathon. It's a tour to force. Do yourself a favor everybody and go watch the video of any Cassie doing that dance. The music in the mirror is what it's called. The music in the mirror. All I ever needed was the music and the mirror.

You can't say R. You can't, you can't, you have to open it up at the end. That's right. Mirror. Your Honor. Your Honor. All my client ever needed was the music in the mirror. Just let him dance for you.

All right. God, I hope I get it. But watch yourself. How many do they need? Wood a woodpecker. Wood a wood. Yeah. Bring it back home.

Thanks, Doug. It case you forgot, that's how we started on this. All right. I'd like to hear the song. Thanks, babe. All right. So here goes, I'm, again, I want you to realize I'm being brave because it's not fully done. Joan, I'm never not aware of you being brave.

You're one of the bravest people I know. Really? Well, to get up on stage? It's terrifying. It is terrifying sometimes. Even for me, after all this time. Okay, here we go. I don't know if it's going to be piano.

No. I will have home. Do you need a like a... Nope. That doesn't help. What interesting beginning to a song. I'll wait a home. It's almost like a drum fill.

Oh, is there any video of someone performing Cassie where they trip and fall? And then somebody puts in the music in the air tonight. I knew you were going to ask about that. All right, no. Okay. Waking up another day, stuck in middle age. I'm filled with so much rage. When will I get out of this stage?

What did you just say? I said, oh boy, this is great. Bert? I'm loving this. Listen, I know it starts out repetitive. Double meaning. Double meaning. Thank you.

Wait, why did you say double meaning? Guys. When will I get off the stage? Oh, but you said out of the stage. Out of the stage. Yes, as in like the stage that she's in. I don't want to go to. Guys, it's already ruined.

Okay. Let me just get back into character. Okay, sorry. Hubad. Hey, mommy. It's all been a pack of lies. Something's got to change. I just want to live.

Something's got to go. Right? That's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's going. Tremendous. Yes. It didn't warm up. Does it start, does, does it start cold with that song? Yeah, she does wake up in the morning.

She wakes up. She wakes up. Oh, yeah. And then she gets right in his song. Listen, if that's going to go viral, maybe I'll put it in. I'm, I mean, this could be your... That's right.

That was beautiful. Oh, thanks, babe. I appreciate that. You too, Bert. Thank you. Your voice is really coming along. For doing the wicked war cry. Oh, I see.

I'm assuming. Correct me for wrong. Absolutely. It's really coming along. Absolutely. Absolutely. So, yeah, I, you know, that's how it's going to begin. I just wanted to be...

A woman? Does it all take place in one luxurious kitchen or are there many luxurious kitchens? It's going to be a turntable. And so it's going to just be, it's going to be her bedroom. It's going to be in three quadrants. I know that doesn't make sense. Three quadrants. I know that doesn't make sense, but there's no other way to say it.

Thawadrants? So there's four halves? Not really. There's only three sections, but we refer to them as quadrants. Again, I don't want to explain it. It's like a set building stuff. And so it's going to be one, it's going to have the bedroom. one's going to have the kitchen

and then the other one is going to be a dream space dream space what happens in the dream space that's when we go into people's minds and their thoughts and their their subconscious that's where we're going to do like the ballet wow that's where I'm going to do the potter do the pot de

do you know what potter de is what? Pot did what? Podad dee is a French term for a little duet that is danced by two people fun I'm not sure you think it is fun What? Jo,

Why are you doubting me so much? But did you hear what your voice went down? Like, okay. I was declaring that is fun. What if I said to you, happy birthday? How does that make you feel? Do you feel like I'm celebrating you? You also made a face.

Well, I mean, but you could, even if there wasn't a face. Okay, I won't do a face. I won't do a face. I feel I'll put on the spot now because you tried to do like a gotcha because I made a face. Babe, what is that?

You're in the, okay, you're inside now? Sorry, I'm just messing with some mechanics. You're playing with the flippers? The flippers? Yes, yes, yeah. Messing with the mechanics. What are the parts of pinball machine? Flippers, bumpers.

Plunger. Pull. You got the bump lights. Whole, of course. You got the paddles. Wouldn't be the same without it. Wouldn't. Wouldn't be the game.

Tunnels. Tunnels? Oh yeah. There are little tunters. Did he call them gutters along the side? You could. Okay. I wouldn't.

We know you wouldn't. You don't call anything I wouldn't call it. You got characters. You got characters. Yeah. Are you going to have like sound clips? Ooh, that's a good idea. Oh, that's fun.

That's what I loved about the 60 Minutes one because when you got it in the... Did I say thank you correctly? You did. Because you were talking to a man. Joe, you're really coming at me. I'm just really, I'm having one of those overdrive days. I'm sorry. What I was going to say is that I really did love the sound bites on.

60 minutes because if you put it in the Andy Rooney hole it was like, why are these holes so big? I think it would be cool since it's human sized. If you go into one of those, you know when the ball gets caught and sinks in? Yes. Suddenly you're in a room and

there's a person in there. So there's levels underneath. It's not a real person though. Like an animatronic person? It could be like a 60 minutes. How are you going to staff this? How is this going to be going on inside my house? Are people going to arrive to be doing their job nine to five? in the pinball machine?

Sure, yeah. Hey, not sure, yeah. I'm sorry, Bert. Hang on a second. It could be Chris Hanson. Like, why don't you have a scene? Oh, no. That's terrible.

That's an awful idea. You think you're having fun and then all of a sudden, because you're not even in control the ball. Is this how to catch a predator pinball machine? Yeah, that would be something, wouldn't it? I mean, that's terrible. I don't even know what that means. But you're not even in control.

You're in the ball. Yeah, and that's what I want to know. How are you playing with the flippers when you're in the ball? You're just in the mercy of someone else. This is a setup. It all has to flip you. Flip you. Yeah.

It's kind of a three-person, three-four-person thing. I think this is the last, like, human-sized game you should do, okay? Let's go back to things like living closets. It's a family activity. Yeah, but you can't let the boys in there because they will absolutely wreak havoc on it. And they'll, I'm afraid someone's going to get hurt. I'm worried that they're going to mark their territory over everything. Oh, I'm sure they will.

They'll probably mark their territory inside the human ball. I'm talking to the person. Now you said human ball. I know I didn't. You said human ball. You know what? I got to the part of human and then I didn't have anything else for ball. And that's true.

That's what happened. So you know what? Jokes on me. I admit it. I admit it. I'm talking, of course, about my twin boys, Matt and... Academia Joe. And academia Joe.

And, boy, he never lived up to that name. I'll tell you what. I had high hopes. You thought that it would be nominative determinism? I did think so. Yes. Do you have anything to share, burnt? Because I feel like me and Doug have been talking this whole time.

And I am sorry for that. There's been a lot of nonsense. No, that's quite all right. I don't have a lot to share. There's not much stuff going on. Now that Gabby and you are back together, are you fine, meaning just in the same place? You know, the incident's over. Have you set a date for your wedding?

We have not yet because now that my long-lost twin brother is turned up. Oh, yeah. You mean turned up? I forgot about that. You haven't really, you both did. You really haven't asked me anything. about it. Well, you know what? Because the last time I tried to ask you about it, you once again did that thing

react like, what, it's not a big deal, even though it's a stunning revelation. So I'd love for you to share anything about that. Male friends don't know anything about each other. That's very true. I'm so tired of that. Why can't you guys just talk to each other? Because of the loneliness epidemic. No, I don't want to hear it. Uninteresting.

It's uninteresting. I don't care about my friend's lives. Why should I? Why should they care about mine? Oh, that is bleak. just the way men are Joan You know Until maybe someone encourages them to be different

You know Yeah I don't know I mean I remember my dad trying to ask me a question once And it was weird Do you remember what the question was? How was school today? Oh my gosh And he had trouble asking you that

Yeah it was hard for him It was hard for me to hear I don't I'll never understand this I will never understand this Because the previous The previous question was where do you go to school You mean like when you're a kid? He asked you where you go to school.

Oh, God. I'm so tired of this. I'm so tired of the dad's not knowing. That's not true. It's not all dads. But I'm tired of them. You'll see these things where it's like they don't know the name of their kids' school or the doctors or anything like that. And Doug doesn't know that he knows the doctor.

He only knows the doctor of the boys dermatologist. That's it. And why were they seeing a dermatologist? Dr. stalactite? Yeah. And it's easy to remember. he's the one that holds tight to the highest floor of the medical building.

Right. Not the lowest. No, his office is a pediatric dermatologist. He's a pediatric dermatologist. And he built, you know, he built it to look like a cave and to make it fun. You know, he didn't want anyone to get all scared going to the dermatologist. It's funny because the other medical professionals in that building were not on board with the cave aesthetic. They were not.

And they wanted him to go in the basement. Yeah, but that would be Dr. Selectmite. Right. What is it again? Stleg might. Might be. I hate that.

Lefty, Lucy, righty. They hold the slight tight. Your Honor, lefty Lucy had nothing to do with this, but I know you think she encouraged Woody Woodpecker to do that. She was an enabler. Would you say she Stelagg tight do that or Stelag might do that?

I like the cave. I think kids do like it. It's very peaceful in there. I like the dripping. You walk in and you have to wonder where the doctor is. You simply have to. And you just go, hello, hello, hello. That's right.

There's a reflecting pool in there where they have somebody underneath who pretends to be like a sort of seer. That is a crazy job. It's like a plexing. It's like a plexia bottom and then there's a lot. Somebody has to pop. They have to time it just right. Apparently it's a great, apparently get great insurance. Apparently it's a great job.

People fight for that job. Like, it's a big deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Babe, how long have we been talking? Because it feels like longer than our 23 minutes. It does. Feels like forever. I'm sorry.

Forever. I'm not blaming you. You know what? You're, I'm part of this too, Joe. 34. No way. That's bad.

My song, it was too long. Give or take. I think maybe. I thought the song was a little bit of a lot. Do you know or do you not? Well, because we had to pause for a couple hours. Oh, oh, that's right. So it might be, you know, a few minutes, give or take.

We had three hours in between our first. We got in 39 seconds and then we paused. for two hours. He said, let's have some phone time. We'll turn our phone for three hours. All right, well, we should go to a break and bring our guest in. We'll be back with the neighbor to listen when the neighbor listen comes back after the break. Hi, I'm Beck Bennett.

I thought I was Beck Bennett. No, no, no, no. I'm Kyle Mooney. Sorry about that. Exactly. No, all good. All good. Thanks, buddy.

Yeah. And we host the show, what's our podcast here on Headgum? This podcast is brought to you by Square Spang. Square Space is the all-n-on-one. website platform designed to help you stand out and make you look like a kick-ass person online. Like you're skateboarding through the internet or you're like you're surfing through the web. SquareSpace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand and get paid all in one place.

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Now what that means is this dog was used once and you will have to wash it once. Now the size can be seen in pictures. Look at that picture. As you can see, this dog is wearing a little sort of track suit for dogs. And you may say, Mill, you're advertising this as a dog. There's no dog in that photo. Now, did I mention it's an invisible dog?

Now $13 seems like nothing. To having an invisible dog that I put clothes on so you can find him, you're thinking, you're thinking to yourself, I'm going to ask Mill this. And then you're going to ask me, Mill, did you mean to say dog outfit instead of just dog? The answer is no. I'm selling you an invisible dog for $13. Now this dog is not only invisible, he weighs nothing. he doesn't make a sound

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he's invisible and you don't need to tell people where you bought it from. Let's keep this honorable. You don't need to say that a guy named Mill sold you what looks to the naked eye as a outfit for a dog and called it a dog. You just got to say, you don't understand. This dog is invisible, he's lightweight, he's malleable,

and he's my best friend. $13 of visible dog And welcome back to the neighborhood listen Well, Joan, we have a guest Yes As we do every week We comb the neighbor app

The social networking application for neighborhoods And we look for interesting neighbors to talk to Maybe somebody has a question They need a message amplified Maybe someone has to answer for something And if you see a post that you think we should cover Why don't just screenshot it and send it to us at burnt and Joan at email.com

Just like listener Ryan Kirkpack did. Thank you, Ryan, for submitting this. This was posted in the crime and safety section by Kevin. Suspicious behavior is Kevin's headline. I saw my next door neighbor drive up to their house, open the garage door from inside the vehicle, and drive in, and the door closed behind them. It was last night around 5.30 p.m. Did anyone else see this? Typically, they park in the driveway, but last night parked in the garage. I have made a report, but want to keep others. on the lookout for this type of behavior. It just makes me nervous for this to be happening in my neighborhood.

Vehicle one. Type truck. Here to talk to us more about this is Kevin. Kevin, Kevin, welcome to the neighborhood. Thanks for being here. Hi, I just, you're saying my name wrong, but, oh, I'm sorry. What is it?

What is it? It's Kaven. Oh, Kaven. I'm sorry. I've never heard that pronunciation. Do I look like it, Kevin? No, you're beautiful. You're a beautiful lady.

No, you're stunning. I just had. Slay queen. Thank you. I just had my bangs. My bangs molded. Molded? What's that?

It's when you take a bank. It's when you... What is happening over there? Sorry. Sorry. Escro knocked over a candlestick and it's way too big. Jones dog is very elderly. I don't like that.

Why do you have candlesticks? What are you up to? Oh, well, there's nothing wrong with... Kaven? All right, hang on a second. First of all, let's get back to what molded bangs are. Don't take my eye off your candlesticks. I know what's...

happening here. You guys are some kind you're having some kind of sex party. Oh no, no, no, no. Kaven. You are welcome to look at this dog wander around and knock over household items. You can? But in the meantime, we would, and you can continue to do that while we ask you, what are molded bangs?

Okay, molded bangs is when you get you, with the this is true. A lot of people don't want to sing your song, Joan. Oh, oh right. Oh, I'm so mad at you for getting that part. I'm so mad at you. you forgetting that part.

Now, John, you wrote this show. I don't care. You should have opened it up to audition. Are you also? Wow. I didn't, I mean, I made it very clear. There's still going to be other auditions. I don't want the other parts.

I want the other great roles in there. Are you also a local actor, Kaven? I do everything. I can, I can, I, I just want to be seen. Anyway, my bangs, they're hard to maintain. So if you find a look you like, in this case, split down the middle and press to above each eyebrow. It's very memorable. I get them moldish.

It looks secure. It's almost like a select. That's a good word for it. It's secure. They definitely aren't moving. What is it that makes your bangs so unruly? Well, all bangs are unruly, but I'm a natural curly-haired lady. Okay.

And it's something I've fought all my life. But when I tell you, when I got the idea to mold them, is I was playing. playing with my nephew's Lego set and you can change the hair. Oh, right. I should do that. Absolutely. Lego hair. It does look like Lego hair. A hard helmet of hair that I can replace.

Is it painful? Yes. Okay. Because it looks like it's really pressing into your temples. It is. I have incredible migraine. What do you say you can replace it? What does that mean? Get a different hairstyle? Well, I mean, I'm just saying it when I'm ready to move on to something different. How do you get it off if you're wanting to change?

Oh, this is a shave situation. A shave. Yeah. Really? When you get em molded, they don't move. Yeah, I would think. If it grows, your hair gets taller, but not longer. Oh, wow.

It goes up. It goes up, I see. Yeah. Okay. Now, you don't want to go with curly bangs, like somebody who sings a song in an old cello? Shut up. Okay. Shut up.

Listen, don't throw things at us, okay? Don't throw things at us. That almost hit me. I know. That's, those, these are coasters, and they're meant for glasses, not for throwing. Curly banks. I should just see myself out. You know what?

No, no. Please stay here because I want to know. Kaven, why? I'm going to say, oh, look it. I'll just speak for myself. When I get to my house, I pull in my driveway. And sometimes, okay, I know that bothers you. No, no, no.

Keep going. I'm listening. Pull in my driveway. And sometimes I lock the car and go into the front door. Sometimes if I want to, I pull into the garage and I close the door. and I go into my house. Those are two options that many people do every day. Do you want a parade?

Do you want a parade? I'm not asking for a parade. What I'm trying to find out, Kaven, is why you found it suspicious that a person who lived in their own home would drive into their garage. Well, you're forgetting something important. You said sometimes. Okay? That's the operative word. Sometimes you do this.

Sometimes you do that. I don't care what you do. Oh, okay. I don't care. Because you said sometimes. You're all over the map. Sounds like a male friendship. Okay, well, I didn't mean for this to be an indictment on my habits and sort of, you know, exploration into my personal day.

I just say when I see my neighbor who has never, I mean, first of all, how did they even get the garage door open from inside the car? Oh, now, Kaven, you use a remote control. Surely you have a remote control for your garage door. No. In the car? I've never once seen a remote control for something that's inside your car, unless. I mean, who has a remote control inside a car? A lot of people do.

A lot of people do. Yeah. It's very common. It's pretty standard. This is the thing. I would believe you if I didn't, if I felt like it. But I don't. Okay.

And here's why. It's here's why. This person, this neighbor who will go unmentioned because I don't want to get sued for defamation. But this person has never. Deformation. Ever, ever. That's where they deep, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they're going to court and they say, they have deformed me. Yes.

Is it? They have deformed me in the public eye. I don't know. It's worse. Deflammation. Yes. Um, if I'm saying it incorrectly, well then I don't know. No, no.

Then I don't want to be right. Okay. Anyway, I, I, I've never seen a remote control inside a car. I've seen remote control cars. Sure, that's very different. Usually they clip right onto the little sort of like a shade that you flip down for the... Oh, okay. I mean, would you believe us if we said we have seen this?

Okay. Listen, I'm not going to argue with you because you're a man. But I'll argue with you. Oh. I'm not sure that's... I'm not sure that's... I think that's a short end of the stick, frankly. Even if we say the same thing.

Correct. Let me ask you another thing. You said he's never done it. Are you, do you need to tell me? Hold on a second. If I may refer back to the text. Oh, she doesn't say never? Typically they park in the driveway.

Ah. Yeah. Now, okay, typically, yeah. Doesn't necessarily mean they always do it. That's right. I thought it does. Good cats burn. I think, I think typically allows for some deviation on occasion.

I have to set the tone for my readers. I have to let them know typically on any given day. I look out and I see. And I see, they went to a lot of work to make that driveway, too. They did some, they did some, laid down a lot of rocks. Sure. And a lot of, um, pavers. Pavers.

That's my husband, Doug. I know you can't see him, but he's in a different room. Who said? I was going to say. I know. I thought, I know. I had a voice in my head. I'm the voice in your head.

No, babe, don't do that. I'm not sure this is good for Kaven. This particular guest, maybe not. Don't tell people I'm the voice in your head. I had a guiding angel that was going to help me. No, no, no, no. I was just rolling with it. Okay, babe.

What is that? Please don't worry about it. Are you in a thruple? No. You got candlesticks. I don't know what's wrong with candlesticks. It's tough to refute. I want to go back to something you said, you said, my readers, are you talking about people

who read on the neighbor app, your posts? Yes. Like, as if they're your fans? Do you have people who comment and, like, expect you to post? How often do you post? Oh, that probably good. give or take four to 18 times a day. That's a lot.

Yeah, that's a lot. Depends on what's going on outside, what I see. I report what I see to my readers. I set this stage. I give them, you should understand this. You're an actor. Okay, all right. I have to tell them the what is going on, the where,

and the why it's atypical. Okay. Can I ask you? These are the reporters questions. Yeah. Can I ask you what you do for living, than posting on NeighborHop? I buy and sell stock.

Oh, that's pretty cool. Stock as in cows, cattle. Oh, livestock. Yeah. You're in the, you like have a farm, or are you just simply managing the shipment of cattle, or are you at agricultural type? No, it's a video game.

Oh, video game. I've never heard of this. It's called farm animals. Really? Do you know this bird? Farm animals. I'm not familiar. Huh. And what do you do? In farm animals, the game, you buy and sell farm animals? Yeah. I play with my nephews.

Oh, that's very sweet. Oh, and I said, but do you for a living? Do you get paid for that? Are you like their nanny? Are you on Twitch doing this? I get paid to play with them, yes. You do? That's interesting. So obviously, it's either your brother's children or your sister's children? Yeah, my brother's children. Okay, and he pays you to watch them. Not watch them, play with them. Specifically play with them. Specifically play with them.

Is it always a farm animals, the game? Wow. Never, never deviates. No. Typically, it's farm animals. Do you see what I'm saying? Typically, there's that word again. Okay, so anyway, there's only two things that can open a garage door from inside a car. Okay. Oh, one is, I guess, your mind.

All right. Well, does that seem likely? Babe, do not comment on that. Don't just let her finish. Just let her finish. I know that's cat and up to you, Doug, but please let it go. He's losing his mind right now. The second one is because.

you are harboring some people in your truck and you are running a sex sleeve. Oh, my goodness. You're a sex trafficker and you have somebody working on the inside who's in tandem with you and you pull in and you're under the, in the middle of the night at 5.30 p.m. You pull into your garage. The middle of the night at 5.30 p.m. Okay. You're doing great. Babe, are you still trying to be the voice in her head?

You need to stop that. Damn it. Oh, gosh. No, no, no. Don't do that. Oh, I thought I was doing great. Doug, you might have to come down here and present yourself so that, you know, she can see that you're real person. You're right.

I don't like this. Oh, wow. Like some kind of routine. Really having me on here. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Kaven. You're messing with it. We're not trying to.

Gaslit. I think it's a wild jump to make to. to some terrible nefarious trafficking situation. Based on what? Why is it the only thing it can be? I can think of other things. Did this just happen the one time? Exactly.

I have seen their garage door open and it's full of boxes and a drum kit. And then this time, how are you going to fit a truck in there? Somebody moves some things. Figure it out, oh, I'm here on the inside. Tell me when you're pulling up with a contraband and I'll open up the garage door. And then you think what? I feel not a report. You could read the report.

Yeah, where did you file a report? I also want to ask you, I do want to know where you file the report. Yeah. I feel like it's on the neighborhood. And I also want to ask you, what do your neighbors typically do?

Are they suspicious in any other ways? Because you seem to go from zero to 60 with the suspicious. Well, I just can't believe it's happening in my neighborhood, as I said. Right. I mean, my neighborhood is known for just really nice people of a certain age.

We all just do our own thing. And, you know, I report the goings on and they've turned to me and they expect to know, you know, what to fear. Or at least they tell me. What to fear? Yeah. Okay. And I, you know, they ask me, what do I fear today?

And I tell them, I had to be honest with them. What else have you feared on a different day? What do you fear? What are other things you fear about your neighbors? Spray. Spray. Spray. Spray.

Could you elaborate? Say more. insecticide spray. Insecticide spray. Uh-huh. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

But generally, you just need to be aware of when someone's doing it. I just stay inside. I saw a neighbor wearing gloves. Okay. Now, Kaven. Was it the winter? No. Okay, but they could have been gardening.

Why? Gardening is useless. Yeleless. Can you tell me something when you're not playing with your nephews, what do you enjoy doing? Oh, well, let's see. I, I, oh, God. Wow, what a stumber. If she can't think of anything fun.

I think she's just spending her whole time in fear and just worried about everything. Well, no, I think that's clear. There's a lot of things I like. You know, I, I love to take out all the pieces from my board games, dust them, clean them, put them back in. And then every once in a while, just to be fun, I'll just replace, like, you know, in my test set, I'll put a checker chip, and then my jackamined set, I'll put a, you know, I'll put a nickel.

Really? Yeah. And who is that for? Is that for when you have company over it to play the game? Yeah. God. I'm sorry. That, now I wasn't expecting that. I wasn't expecting that either. I was thinking maybe so you get yourself a little chuckle. Oh, you don't think God has a sense of humor. Oh, I think so. Look at the Duckville platypus. Now, Kavan, when you, so, so is the idea that

the next time you open these games, let's say you're going to play a game with someone, you open it up and like, oh, there's a nickel in there. Yes, and then I wink to God. You wink to God, right? And I go, and you pretend as if God did it. Is that what you're trying to sort of like make it look like he did it and convince your friends? She said that with such a chilling smile, really funny. Isn't that funny?

I don't know. Isn't that something? Well, it is something. It is something. Let me ask, do you ever associate with your neighbors? Yes. You do hang out with them? Sometimes?

Yes. I put flyers on their doors. Oh. Oh, that's not the same. I don't think. No. What did they say? For example, look out.

Right. Is there more? Yeah. Well, there's a line at the bottom and every day I feel it's something different. So in addition to posting, you are printing up flyers. You have a flyer template. It's like a mad lip. Look out for things to be afraid of because they want to know.

So they're supposed to fill it out. They look to me for that. Is this every day you do this? Yes. That's extreme. It's a service. Well, and you're sure that they want. has truly no one ever come up to you and said,

Kaven, please, I don't want any more flyers on my doorstep. Yes. Is that funny? So funny, I say. She really took delight in that. Good. Well, I mean, why would somebody not really, they don't mean it. They don't mean it.

Kavan, I think sometimes you have to take people out their word. I mean, it seems like you're not, you're receiving signals that I don't think that you're. I've been lied to so many times in my life. By whom? Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. School. Right.

Parents. Oh. My siblings. My nephews, even, they're, you know, one and nine. And they lot. Every word out of their mouth is untrue. And you guys both all play this game together. What are their names today?

The news. CBS. It's a strange doubt. And ABC and NBC. Okay. What are your nephews? Is the one-year-old getting much enjoyment out of farm animals? Yeah.

Did they get much enjoyment? Yeah. Well, one and nine is a pretty, it's just, you're about different things at the No, if he's enjoying it or not. He lies. They're all liars. How can he even lie? He probably barely has a few words so far to say.

What are their names? Jimithy is the youngest. Okay. And Terry, Terry. Is there more to his name? Well, Terry. Terry just changed his name. Oh, really?

Oh, he did. What did he change it to? Two. Oh, he changed it from something to Terry. He changed it to Terry. Oh, from a gorgeous. name, which was... Gorgeous name.

Please tell us. Marnold. Marnold. Marnold. I had to say I kind of understand what he'd want to be switching it to Terry. How dare you? Okay, please, that's my last coaster, okay?

Is Marneld a family name? Yeah, it is unusual, I have to say. Never met a Marnelled. I've met a few Jimethees, but never a Marlins. Yes, I've known a Jimethe or two in my life. It's so beautiful. When you say Marne... When you say Marne... Marnold.

I say yeah. Marnold, yeah. When you say Marnold, I, it's so, is this a word you can say on the air? Malifluous. Oh, lovely. Yes, you absolutely can say that on the air.

I heard it once and it just, that's Marne. I can kind of put some reverb on that if you'd like. That's great, too. Sure, let's do it. Good ad. Marr. Wow.

Oh, that's going to sound really good. That's beautiful. I'm assuming, so I'm assuming Terry is the nine-year-old who changed his name and the one year old is Jimithy. Yeah. Okay. What do your, what do your brother and sister-in-law do that they're so busy that they pay you to play with them?

Oh, one of them is he's flooring. And my sister-in-law... He's flooring. My sister-in-law does a lot of stuff on the phone. I don't know. She's always looking at her phone. Okay. So are they there when you are playing with Maril and Jimpathy?

No. Terry, excuse me. No, no, they have a time sharing Cancun. So they go to Cancun and then you play with the children. Hang on. But you'll watch the children. You just play farm animals with them. Oh, I'm sorry.

It's remote. It's on Zoom. Oh, wait. So they're alone in the house while they go to Cancun for how long? No, they go. The whole family goes. Oh, I see. I'm just at home. I zoom with them.

I play games with them all day long. I keep them consumed. I don't know what they're doing down there. It's suspicious. Your days seem packed because you are playing farm animals all day long on Zoom. You're also posting on the neighbor have at least 18 times a day. Then you're also putting the flyers in people's doors. Yes.

There's so much to be afraid of. You know what? I had a neighbor the other day. Okay. Okay. This is not the same one who was wearing gloves. Got it. Right.

I had one neighbor the other day who had a measuring tape. And they were out, you know, and they were looking at the side of their house and they had the measuring tape. I just said to myself, what on earth? I thought there would be more. I was waiting for a third part.

No, I called the fire department. The fire department. That's interesting. Yeah, I said, listen, what kind of person lives in a house for so long and all of a sudden they need to know, oh, how big is it? That's...

Well, they might be making an alteration to the outside of their home. They might be doing an add-on. Nobody in my neighborhood makes alterations. Okay. How long ago is this? This was Friday. What's today?

Oh, this is Friday. Yeah. Okay. Are you, do you live in Perfect Pond? Yes. Okay. Perfect Pond, there is, you are literally not allowed to make any changes of any kind. That's right.

The HOA is oppressive. Yeah. They really are. They'll wake up in the middle of the night. They disappear you. I know. They'll come in the middle of the night. At one time they came at 5.48 p.m.

that's also interesting. When do you go to bed? Great question, Joan. Thank you. I go to bed at 4 p.m. Why? Why? Yeah.

4 p.m. But then 5.30 is still the middle of the night? I don't need to know what's happening after 4 p.m. That is when the demons come. Okay. Now, you've thrown a lot of things out here, and I understand being paranoid about measuring tape and gloves. Please expound on what you mean by demons.

Well, if you're out, If you're out after 4 p.m., you're not looking for, you know, to have a nice chat with somebody. You're looking for trouble. You either want to break in, tie somebody up, do a home invasion, or, you know, a possession. Kaven, has anything happened remotely similar to what you just described that you have seen? And also, it's tying someone up separate from a home invasion. Just tying them up. Yes, they're very different.

But have you seen or heard of that anywhere? in your neighborhood. Yeah. Well, not in my... Okay, she was so quick to say yes before I got that last part in. I'm gonna... I'm gonna...

No, not in my... Not specifically in my neighborhood, but why do you think that is? Why? Somebody is on high alert. Oh, you think the only reason all those things you just described haven't happened is because of you?

Yeah, I keep everything at bed. How can you be at high alert when you're asleep at four? And you said, I don't want to witness all these things. What time do you wake up? I wake up at... I wake up sometimes usually around 5 a.m. when the

Clonpin wears up. Okay. Then how can you be on high alert on Clonapin every night? Oh. You have, who's married? You? I'm married to Doug, yes. Where's Doug when we need him? Doug, do you want to come down here so she can see you?

Okay. Present yourself? He has to extricate himself from a human-sized pinball. All right. I'm rolling through the house. No, that wasn't another candle stick. That's just... That's the sound of the ball?

It's the sound of his pinball machine, all right? It's coming from the room. I'm coming. What is the ball made out of? Is somebody... Right now, it's a... I mean, it's metal. Right.

But there's a window in it. So you can see it. It sounded like a gigantic metal bar was falling down the stairs towards us, base. That was alarming. I did not care for that. I'm writing this up. I would rather not get out of the ball.

I'm writing it up. Don't write us up, Kayven. Okay, this is Doug. This is Doug. Here he is. Presenting. Who? Doug.

I know you. Oh. Oh. I was. You. How? Where have you seen my husband? I saw him.

I know what you did. What did you do, Doug? Last summer. I saw you in the bulk aisle. I know what you did. What did you do in the bulk aisle? Babe? What are you doing in the bulk aisle?

I'm always in the bulk aisle. I know what you did. Kaven, I think we're going to need more information. What do you think you saw him do? You got brown rice and you didn't write the proper number on it. Oh, brother. Oh, no. You mean scooping it into the bag?

Do I have to take it back? You're a pervert. Well, you already ate it, honey. A pervert. Oh, right. Now, Kavenen, I can't let you call my husband a prover for that. Why, what kind of person? It was probably an honest mistake.

What kind of ethical person who doesn't do? What are you writing on the bag? What am I writing at the bag? You have to guess the exact weight and if it's not right. I was going to say, don't they have a scale of some sort? No, not at the number of your bin. Not at Croutts, which is the only place where they have the bin. of the seeds and the grains.

Is that how you pronounce it? Yes. It's a weird system. I thought it was crotch. C-R-O-U-G-H-T-S. If you don't get the weight right, you've broken the law. There's like a big sound effect. There's in the whole entire store and everyone laughs at you.

What's really weird is they make you weigh yourself when you walk in there. Yes, they do. And they make that sound when you get on the scale too. And then you have to weigh when you go out. They subtract. That's how they make sure you're not taking anything. You have to pay by the difference in weight. Yeah.

It's accurate to a grain of rice. That's their slogan. And if you nail it, they'll write crows on a grain of rice. That's why you can't invite in the free samples because that's how they get you. Okay. I don't think I'm a pervert for that. He's not a pervert. Kaven.

That's new. Can you? The better than demon. Tell me what kind of. Oh. Oh, they're the same. What kind of demon pervert writes a different number of the bin on your bag? You think that's the weird behavior?

He's in a big metal wall, ball with a window in it. No kidding. You look at porn. What? I mean, you can. That's the kind of mindset. So, anyway, if you were my neighbor, that's what I would put on the flyer. Okay.

Well, now, first of all, I mean, you could. I just didn't think it would happen in my neighborhood that there would be such trafficking in my neighborhood. Okay. But let's all be clear. toss a grain of rice at any man and he's going to look at porn. What was the response from your neighbors? Because there are people in the neighbor having, I don't think that was, I think you're jumping

to a conclusion. They laugh, which I know is a defense mechanism. How can you tell they laugh online? No, I meant in person. Oh, oh, sorry, sorry. Oh, yeah, you're right. Yeah. You're saying they laugh.

They laugh, which is a defense mechanism. That's what happens. I had a friend told me that I had a friend told me that she witnessed her parents' murder when we were on summer vacation. and, and, sorry, when you were a child? Yeah, when I was a child. Okay. And she told me this in confidence, and my first reaction was to laugh.

Okay. You're saying it's a coping mechanism to deal with horror. Yes, because it was so horrible. Yes, but was it true? Was she telling you a fake story? No, I think it was very much real. Well, the only way to find out is, did she ever see your parents again? I mean, if you were friends with her, you obviously either.

Were her parents murdered? I feel like that would be neighborhood news. Yeah, I think that's why we were at the same camp. because your parents were murdered? Oh, no. Sorry, I forgot that part. This happened at camp. This happened to camp.

You did not, we were at the same camp. Meaning like you lost touch right after this, so you weren't able to follow up on whether or not her parents were murdered? I mean, if their parents were murdered, she would have been taken out of camp. Was she taken out of camp? What she taken out of camp?

Nobody came to pick her up. Oh. Right, but she would not notify next of camp. What I'm trying to get out of cave in is, I think what might have happened is from a very early age. I don't like this. This is,

accusatory. It's not accusatory. It's me trying to help you. Nope, not at all. I saw what I saw. I'm answer hunting. That's what I'm doing. I'm not victim blaming. Thank you. Typically, they don't park in the garage and now you want me to change my story. No, I think that someone told you a tall tale when you were younger. I think you might have been a very impressionable, a young lady, which happens, people will sometimes, if you're innocent, tell you things. And I think it put in your mind a sense of fear about the entire world. Because if that, the stuff that happens when you're a kiddle like that. If you're immediately scared of the world, that's how you grew up to be. This doesn't pass the sniff test for me. I, listen, do you have a television set? I do. And when you turn it on, do you see

bad things that are happening all over the world? We do. We don't call it a television set, but yeah. Do you mean the news? What? The news? The local news. Is that what you're referring to? Yes. The bad things that are happening all over. I mean, I have seen the news. And then, and then now there's, oh my gosh, what, my entire. Babe, what are you doing? He went back up into his room. I was going to go to find the television set. He's trying to roll off to the TV. I was going to bring it back to show you. I thought this was an inflatable ball. Not like an actual. No, it's metal with a window in it. It's like a pinball. I'm so, I'm so happy that you're real, but I'm so also relieved that the head, voice inside my head is not a pervert, but in fact, your husband. I'm glad you're glad. So I'm not a pervert. No, you are a pervert, but you're not the voice in my head. Okay.

Can someone turn me around? I'm upside down. Bird, can you take care of that? So there's no mechanism in that? Is there anything inside? I can see part of a testicle right now. You're just trapped in there and have no way of steering it. I mean, I'm kind of like I'm upright.

Yeah, you have your palms and your feet. Yeah, I'm kind of like that Leonardo. Yes, yes, I knew that's what you were going to. The Vitruvian man. Just because you knew what I was going to say, doesn't mean it's not. Let me give you a little push with my foot. Oh, boy. There he goes.

All right. Oh. Got stuck in the door. I closed the door. He did. Oh, and he also got stuck in the door. That's as much as I can help you, Doug. Thanks.

I feel, I feel Kaven as if you have, if I may say, a very vivid and very negative imagination. Thank you. That's not a compliment. Okay. Not an insult either. Just a statement of fact. That's right. It's an observation.

That's what I like. I don't need to put a judgment on it. fact. Thank you. This is the language I speak. Here's a statement of fact for you. Can I get a great observation, Bert? Give it to him. Oh, me? Yes. Great observation, Bert. Thank you. That's so hard? Know your place. Oh. Oh, great. Great. Baby, you sigh it after. I'm sorry. Okay. I mean, I, when I say great question, Joan, I mean me.

And now I don't know what I was going to say. If you're not deferential to this person, what are you even doing? Here is a statement of fact. People are allowed to park on their driveway or in their garage. It happens every day. It doesn't mean anything other than it's their free will and they just decided. You don't live rent free in their head. Who? I don't know what they're doing.

I know what they're doing. I know what they're doing. You're up to, you're doing fine. you're parking in your driveway. You go to all that trouble to lay down all that pea gravel. What is that mean? And then you don't park on it? You're in your garage because you're hiding something.

No, you're in your garage because there's going to be a hailstorm that night. You don't want your car to get damaged. There was. No, hailstorm. All right. All right. She threw a throw pillow, which I understand. We need to change that name.

There shouldn't be so many throw pillows in the kitchen. And not only that, even if there was a hailstorm, what is so special about your truck that it can't have? until a hailstorm. Isn't that the reason people get trucks? I have a dodged dart. And even that has survived many a hailstorm. Forget the hailstorm.

That was the wrong avenue to go down. I wish you hadn't said hailstorm. Who is your neighbor? Do you know what this man's name is? Or woman. I know, but I don't want to get a deformation lawsuit. Now, have you had any interactions with him? What does he do for a living?

I don't know. I don't know. I don't have to get into. Well, then guess what, Kavin? You can't then just determine that he's up to no good if you have no idea what he does for living. job where you park in your driveway and then all of a sudden one day you park in your garage. The job of being a human on planet Earth.

That's not a job. That's just, that's not a job. You don't have to have a job. You don't have to have a job to park in your driveway or in your garage. That's so true. You just have to be a person who lives at their house. And what kind of person has no job? You?

Well, yeah. I have a very important job. Playing with your nephews? And, and. I'm just not sure about their. Letting my neighbors no danger is around the corner at. All the time. But it's danger that you're making up in your head.

You think Doug is the voice in your head. You are the voice in your head. I saw what I saw. They opened a garage from inside the car. She's still hung up on this. She really is. Are you somehow monetizing your neighbor hat posting? Oh, that's a good question.

I'm making money out of this? Yes. I don't need money where I live. I mean, I do, but I don't monetize it. But you said this was your job. Listen, I have a lot of people who count on me as what I. And that is. That is a job.

These are the people that laugh at you when you say this person's human trafficking. Well, because it's a defense mechanism. You think that, but what if they're laughing because they think you're crazy? That is a big word crazy. I know. That's why I whispered it. Big word. I whispered.

Oh, that's why you whispered it. And you whisper it because I saw what you said just now. And that's accusatory and I'm going to sue you for defamation. Oh, no, not me for defamation. Yes. They're not laughing at me. They're laughing at me because they love me because they care about it. Oh, dear.

And they know they got it good with me. I don't, I mean, how? How do they have it good with you? They have it good. Free service. Name one free service. I don't think. I don't see.

Name one free service. Boy, I can't think of one. Hugs. There you go, babe. As a free service. Good one. That is a free service. From the pervert.

Oh my gosh. Doug, it's not helping you beat the pervert allegations. Did you make it? Where are you now? I've fallen down in the basement. Down those three steps? I'm all in, I'm just, I'm so lost in the house right now. How am I going to get this ball back up?

I don't know. How are we still hearing? I wish I didn't have to present myself. All right, listen, let's get back to Kevin. I'm shaken to my core because you are questioning and calling the question into my impressionable mind that maybe what I'm doing is not, is not somehow a service or useful, and that people are laughing out. I don't think that it is and I think that they are.

But do you have any good friends that you can trust? People that you would say, I trust this person. I know they're up to only good. I'm not put on this planet to trust people. I am put on this planet to do the opposite. To question the motives of every single human. That is a cross. You feel this is your purpose on Earth.

Yes, somebody has to be the lighthouse. Are you a religious person? Of course she is. She thinks that. She makes little jokes for God. Remember? I forgot about that. Pay attention.

Burnt. Are you a churchgoer? Oh, yes. Okay. Okay. Where do you go? What religion are you? What church do you go to?

I'm Christian of, but I'm a Christian of? I'm bespoke Christian. I, I, I, it's Taylor-made Christianity. Uh-huh. to my needs. Right. I see. How does it differ?

What would say the key differences? Like do you go to a building? Do you worship with other people when you do this or do you do this religion from home? Oh, I do it from home. Uh-huh. Yeah. And, you know, because the thing about churches is, I think we've all read the headlines full of pedophiles. I mean, listen, that is a statement of fact.

Mm-hmm. Thank you. Finally. You've seen the life. Well, it's been proven. many ways. Not every single term, but we know it's a problem, yes. But what's your point with that? Well, I don't like to go anywhere where I can find that. I mean, I don't even love to go to crotches because, you know. But see, here's the interesting thing. Okay. Because I know that when I go to the

bulk aisle, my hands are touching, you know, handles and bins where other perverts have been. Sure. Was she nodding over to me when she said that? She was, even though you're not here. She was nodding in your pinball's direction. You seem to accept, you know, what the news said about this one thing. You mentioned about the church. So that's something that people have actually done investigative work on. Something like someone going into their garage. There's no news about that.

We've never had some explosive case. There's not a spate of garage. Correct. Human trafficking. Yes, yes. I'm so sorry that I have to connect the dots for you. Oh, she is squinting so hard. I'm going to give you a scenario,

and this is the only scenario I can possibly think of. Okay. All right. Okay. Let's call him John Jacob Jingle. Okay. We're going to end before she bit. That's my name too. Oh, no.

Doug. Doug. It's one of my favorite songs. I mean, it's a banger. I don't think she's not even aware of this song, maybe, or just doesn't like it, but I'm sure that's not what she's talking about. John Jacob Jinglehmer gets in his truck. Okay.

And on this day, he says, The Schmidt Eraser is driving me crazy. I know, but you have to get over it. He gets in his truck. He puts it in drive and he comes home and he thinks no one's watching. And he thinks, this time, I'm just going to go in through the outdoor. Right. In through the outdoor.

Well, I'm going to go in through an area where I've never entered before. Again, I'm just going to have, I have an argument with. with this. You don't know that he's never entered these I know. This is, I said, typically. I know, but that doesn't mean never. This is the same problem. You haven't had your eyes on him every single time. Look up typically.

Look up typically. Do it. Do what she says because she won't get off of it. You're going to be so disappointing. Okay, keep going with the scenario. So he decides to keep going. What's in the bed of that truck? What do you think? That you can't go into your own driving?

You don't want anyone to see what you're hauling. You don't even need to have anything that you're trying to hide. You could just want to protect your truck. Maybe you don't want someone to break into your truck. Now that's something that does happen, Haven. People break into cars on the street and in the driveway. Not in the area that you said I live in. Are you sure about that?

It seems like maybe you don't even know about the crimes that do happen in your neighborhood versus the ones your, yes, I said neighborhood. Versus the ones that you pretend have happened. My neighbor heard from me that there's dangers and they're all on high alert. Well, now that's fine. I like neighborhood. Ever. Oh, here we go.

Here's your definition on typically. In most cases. Most. Usually. Often a submodifier. Often. Does it say that a synonym is never? Does it list never as a synonym?

No. There you go. No, because it's usually often, most likely and commonly. Go ahead. Did you say autum? Antenonin. Anten. It's the same thing as a synonym?

No. That's different. opposite. Oh. All right. What I was trying to Did you know that an antonym is the

antonym of synonym? Yes. What I'm trying to say is if never is not a synonym then I was going to make my pointer. I wasn't thinking that it wasn't. I wasn't thinking that it was not the opposite.

I think, I believe that Kavan is using typically as a synonym for always. Is that what you were doing? Correct. And I don't think it can be used as always. Oh, I love men.

They're so brilliant. And that's why we're looking it up. I think it can mean always. Well, Doug, you're not helping. Let me say this. I have no agenda. This from the guy who once said maybe onion is everywhere. Can't prove me wrong.

If I said, if I said, if I said I typically wake up. If I don't typically wake up, what does that mean? It also doesn't mean that you never wake up at a different time. That's what I'm trying to say. She left out the idea of a time. I didn't say anything about that. I said I know when she's getting up. Wake up every day.

So typically means that... What happens if I don't typically... If what happens on the day that I don't wake up? You'll be dead. Ah! Oh! I think that she thinks she got a confession out of you burnt. Honestly, I could not parse that reaction.

Well, she stuck her finger right up in the air as if to say Eureka, but she just laughed. Right. Why don't we ask her? Haven, what did... Haven? What did... Haven? Sorry. I know a haven, but I've never met a haven.

What did you mean by that gesture and that response? Well, I'm going to ask you one more time, and I'm going to need you to keep up because you are dim. Oh, my Lord. I typically wake up. What happens on the day that I don't? And I would posit that you would be dead, and that's why you haven't woken up. Hey, you did the same thing.

The flap was a little extra. We're not closer to an understanding. Almost went into Doug's hello. I don't know why you're acting as if I can't follow along. Because, because you need to finish the sentence. Don't you think if I didn't wake up, that would be caused for alarm and maybe a report? You know what? A coroner's report, for sure.

Yeah. Did you make the report to? Who did you make the report to? To my substack. Okay. You have a substack? And to the police, of course. Subble for sense.

I have an email. I have a contact. You do? Sub-ofer stack. Hold on, please, Kaven. What did you say? Sub-Wulfur stack? Yeah, I was always wondering what the sub means in sub-sac.

Oh, Doug. I got to say, that was not worth it. No, it really wasn't bad. Well, you asked for clarification. I know. I did, but it can't always be wordplay. You don't even hear every single wordplay moment that you have. It's not wordplay.

It's wondering what the sub is short for. But do you really think that it was sub-wifers? Yeah. Why would it mean that day? Why would you think? Substandard submarine. So you could have fit any going through all of those. There is a sublifer stack, but it's a woman who trains.

The stack I concept, you have no problem. She trains Icelandic sheep dogs specifically. Doug's going to love that. That's right up his alley. Sounds great. That's right up his alley. Okay. Listen.

Kaven. You're being very frustrating. I feel like you're being willfully obtuse. Because I work from home. and it's a pleasure. That's threatening to you? It is. I'm surprised you came in.

I'm surprised you didn't try to do this from home. I had to go pick up some things at crotches. It's crouts. But what did you pick up? Well, probably a disease from the pervert. First of all, he wasn't even there today. Mess with the bins. But when I'm not, when I go there, I go to get my, yeah,

I go to get my juice boxes and my lemonade. Your juice box is. And lemonade. Powderes. Powders. Do you get anything in the food group? Not from there, no. Not from there.

That's a section of crosses. Yeah. They have powders, food groups. It's called the food group. But I have to go through the... It's a membership program. I mean, I'm not touching anything in that place with a 10-foot bowl. I don't play.

I just, I ask that because I don't think you're eating enough. I don't think, I know that you're sleeping, I guess, enough because you take a clonipin, but... You and my brother should get. a room. Oh, no, that's interesting. Why? Why do you say that? This is all I hear about. Also, I don't know that we need to get a room. Do you just mean that we agree? That doesn't mean we need to hook up. I think so. Cavan, you're delusional. Cavan. Oh, no, hang on. This is important. Do you hear this burnt? Oh, yeah, I'm hearing. Your own brother is telling you you're delusional. Do you hear what you're saying?

Well, this is a man who has a child eight years apart. What's that about? Probably a surprise. They thought they were in the clear. Yeah, it was a surprise. when I found out what happened to the others. The others. Okay. Well, perhaps they just didn't want to have all the babies that they might have been able to have. That's none of my business.

That's none of your business. Okay. We're not going to touch on that. Do you hear that your brother's calling you to lose? She's singing. I don't know. She's, she's. It sounds like a disagreeable song.

Yeah. It does. Kaven. You know, we always like to feel like we helped people, but I honestly feel like you just turned my brain around. It put me in a bad mood. I knew, yeah. And you called me dim,

which I'm really still reeling from. That was a direct insult. You called me crazy. I whispered it. To be fair. To be fair. Do you know who can hear whispers? Who know?

Correct. Oh, this man is wonderful. You listen and follow everything he says. All right, Kaven. Listen, this is where we usually say, we wish you the best of luck. I don't know how Byrne feels about that. I really, I want you to listen to your brother.

The next time he's talking to you and saying these things, try to hear what he is saying. I think there is some truth to what he's saying. I guess we can also say you came on here to alert people to suspicious activity and you can consider that done. Yes. So you achieved that goal, I guess.

I don't know. He says something and all of a sudden I perk up and I enjoy it and then you say stuff. You called my husband a pervert more than once. I just, I'm not sure I can tolerate that anymore. Let me try something. Let me serve. Kavan, I think you need to seek professional psychiatric help.

I think that you need to stop trying to convince me. Oh, it didn't work. See? There you go. I am troubled. You pervert! Oh, now you're the pervert. Now I've been tired with the pervert.

Well, now dim sounds pretty good. I'm sitting over here just being dim. You two deserve each other. Enjoy your little cave. Okay. Our cave! Okay. We're just in a kitchen.

All right, cave-in. You're a very frustrating person and, you know. I'm not going to make it easy for you perverts. I'm going to. Well, you certainly haven't made it easy for us right now. You're not allowed to just run free and do your perverting. No. Perveting? I am going to stand in the way.

I'm an obstacle. Okay. But you do have to leave. Yeah, you do. Actually, you need to leave right now. You can take a gift bag on your way out? When did you start doing gift bags? I need to.

What's in the gift bag? I thought it was a nice thing. I need to put in the gift bag. gift bag. This dental floss. Dental floss. Maybe put dental floss in the bag. There's dental floss. There's this little finger. There's a little finger puppets. There's little finger. I don't like these kind of light bulbs. No, thank you. A light bulb. I don't. Oh. Oh, I can't eat that. What is it? It's a peanut. It's got food in it. It's got food in it. It's got food.

I'm interested. All right, Kaven. Well, I don't know. Get out of here. We'll return with the neighbor listen. When the neighbor's unless it returns. Bye, slut. Hey, this is Scott. I've got a sport electric scooter. 14 tires, 48-volt battery with charger. Excellent.

$160. Scooter is in perfect new condition, and everything was perfectly on it, including headlights and taillights and computer screen, puncture, resistant tires, adjustable seat and handlebars, thick cushion, and gone up to 40 miles an hour. The lock on the rear basket trunk is not working.

Super long battery life. fast recharge comes a 500 watt charger please ask for more pictures or information or a video of it working I'll respond quickly cannot hold or deliver first here gets itself for hundreds more great deal you can check it all out and write it before you buy Disneyland area the scooter is just like brand new and the tires are perfect with nowhere on that worst father's day present ever come get it and welcome back to the neighborhood listen uh Kaven was a delusional person. Truly. Disturbed. I'm so disturbed by her. She was disturbing. And she was not fun to talk to. No, what she called, she called me a slut at the end there. Did you hear that? She called to a slut. She called you a dim slut. A dim slut. I was spared her eye or till the very end I became a

pervert. Yes, you were. For suggesting that she needed some help. She's right though. Sometimes, oh, Burr, don't do that. Of course she's not right. What are you talking about? Someone going into there? We cannot lean into that. Why did they suddenly park in the? garage. They do it all the time, I'm sure. You're going to start making everyone crazy. I won't. I promise I won't. All right. Babe, did you get back into the pinball area? No, no, I'm stuck. Where are you? I am in the, uh, the hot tub in the basement. In the ball? The ball fell perfectly in the hot tub, and so now it's in this like perfect divvins. The hot tub's on, is it? I was going to say if it is, that it's heating you up. You're boiling? Yeah, it's boiling you. Pretty hot. Wow. Okay, fine. I'm in the ball,

but the ball is getting very hot because it's a small. metal. All right. Okay. Then we're going to make this section quick. Shouldn't leave that basement hot tub on all the time. Definitely not. I don't even know we were thinking with a basement hot tub.

I know. It was us. It's annoying because when you want to go into a hot tub and it's not on, you want it to be kind of impulsive. Oh yeah. You want to turn a corner to see a hot tub on and just jump in. You don't want to have to plan your hot tubs. You want to just get in the feeling for it.

It's just like immediately take off all your clothes. Get in there. Yeah. Then you turn it on. I require clothing for our. hot tub. Now the idea was you were you were trying to make it look like a natural hot spring and that's why it's in the basement, right? Yes, that's right. Yeah. Because you have a dirt floor. It's like an in-ground trampoline, but it's just, it's flush with the, it's flush with the floor.

Yes, exactly. And there's, um, they, there's those, uh, those monkeys in it. The, you know, replicas. They love, those monkeys that love a hot spot. You know, those, yeah, I, those, those are my favorite. I know they're your favorite. You love their super red faces. Don't you just want to hang out with them. And you've also you've somehow like pumped in the smell of eggs. Oh gosh.

To make it seem more sulfurous. The worst. That's the stuff you can't smell on those national geography I'll tell you what. What? That's the stuff you can't tell on the you can't smell of that.

I mean, oh wow. Was it that unintelligible? It was pretty, it was one of those things where it took me a second to process. That's something that you can't smell on those national geographics.

I'll tell you what. Okay. But you got it. You got it. That implies that we've been talking about those things you can't do with National Geographic. Sure. I'll tell you what. And we've been talking about the things you can do with them.

All right. We have one more post. And this is in the for sale section. And this is very confusing to me. This is Larry posted this. Modern white staircase. $500. Oh.

A staircase. Is there a picture? Now that is interesting enough that somebody's selling a staircase. Yes. It's a stylish white staircase with metal railing. And then... That could be like a short story. Because it's already so interesting.

You look at the picture. And he used staircase. Would you like to describe staircase? Yes. Modern white staircase. Modern white staircase. Stylish metal railings. What do you see in this picture?

I don't see any staircase. That's the headline. No staircase. Let's start off right there. Yes. It looks like there's a diorama on a table. And then just to open. box and a couch. It's a blurry photo.

It is a blurry photo with zero staircase. Now here's what I'm going to say. Here's what I'm going to say, yeah. I just send it to you, Doug. Huh. Do you see a staircase, Doug? Do you think that's a picture of him trying to post the picture of the staircase? You mean he was trying, he should have flipped the camera around? Well, you see somebody on their phone.

This is like when you're trying to log into some sort of dumb account and it's like, identify all the staircases and you have to click on all the squares, but the staircase? Let me describe to the listener what I see. Okay. All right. So we're in a room of some kind. There is a glass door on the left. Light is coming in through the door. It looks like an office building actually. A little bit. In the bottom left corner

there's a hand holding a phone and I guess there's like an envelope a big brown envelope and then to the right of the screen you see what looks like either a chair or a part of a couch. And then in the back, in the background, what you see is the, well, looks like the back end of a car. It is, okay, see now, because there's these two red lights.

It looks like there's two red lamps. There's tail lights. So is that, is it the back of a pickup truck? It looks like the, it looks like a fake sort of. Well, we could be in a garage, but the doors are not garage doors. but there's like the flat bed of an old-fashioned pickup truck no wheels

it's on a coffee table it's on an end table it's very strange well I don't think it's on an end table I think it's attached to the wall like a piece of art yes and but also it's like a shelf kind of you can put stuff on it yes it's like a shelf it's like it's resting on the shelf it makes no sense

honestly it's very disturbing it's not resting on a shelf okay it looks like a shelf it's a shelf in itself uh-uh it's a shelf in itself this thing, like they've put stuff on the bed of the truck as if it's just like a normal shelf. Yeah. The lights are illuminated.

That would be a good, hang on a second. Hang on a second. That would be a good, like now when she's in her kitchen and the second quadrant. I think you're getting like a vision. I am. So she could be, this is something's got to give. She could be like, and look at this kitchen. It is for myself.

Look at this lazy Susan. It's a shelf for yourself. What? Right? No. I mean since you asked right I'd say no Lazy Susan is a shelf for yourself

No what I mean is What? What? That's what you said How dare you what Here are the sorts of the what When she comes out of these visions Sometimes she doesn't even know what she just said No you guys

You were out for approximately 30 seconds You guys do with two separate things She's walking through and naming things It's like look at this trove treasures and told How many wonders can want It's like here's a dinglehopper here's a candlestick, here's a thing, like a little mermaid. What is a dinglehopper?

She calls a fork a dinglehopper. Don't you remember? I've never, I don't remember that. What is wrong with you? You've never seen Little Mermaid. Why would I see it? Joy? I mean, I don't have children.

I was too old for it. You do not need children to enjoy a little hoper. I was a child when I watched it. You can have seen it as a child. Hold on. I didn't have children either when I first saw. Doe, Joe, Joe, Joe. What?

Am I yelling again? You are yelling. You are yelling. Why? I'm not saying that I guess it didn't occur to me that there would be anything for me there at the time when it came out. Wow.

It came out when you would have been young as well. You would have been a young person. Not that young. I mean, you know. I guess. I was probably in my 20s. I don't think there's anything wrong with seeing a movie that's about Disney.

I never said there was anything wrong with that movie about Disney. Listen to me. She's in. that's what I realize I shouldn't have said it that way good catch babe what I'm saying is she's in the kitchen and she's naming things in the kitchen so she names she's playing with the lazy Susan

and then she gestures over to a shelf there's a shelf for yourself and what does that mean to you it means she didn't necessarily need it it's decorative I put it in there for myself because I wanted cute things on it okay so you put cute things on the shelf that's for yourself that's right

but you guys had to chew my head off well joan you weren't making any sense I think it was great babe I was making sense to myself and that's all that matters unless you're putting on a production where people need to understand what's going on

I am in the creative process right now understood I am in development no wrong answers I'm looking out for future Joan all right if you would like to if you like to see this picture of this

whatever the hell is going on here I don't like it follow us on Instagram you know what you don't need to follow us you can just go to her Instagram. You can do that too. No pressure.

No pressure. Oh, and by the way, I want to shut out. Someone made sure to mention that we have someone listening from South Korea and two people from Brazil. Two people from Brazil. Two. And they haven't urged us to come to Brazil yet? I don't know yet.

I don't know anything about that. I just mentioned, they were referring to our Argentinean friend. Yeah. And then someone said, just so you know, you have a listener from Brazil. Two, in fact, and one from South Korea. So thank you so much. We should tour down there. Have you seen those?

shows they played on there. I don't know two people warrants a tour. Like those Iron Maiden, Iron Maiden and in Brazil. No, what are you? I haven't seen it. Unbelievable amounts of people.

Sure. Well, that's right. Oh, you're saying they just show up to the venue no matter what. Or we open for Iron Maiden. Do you think our podcast should open for Iron Maiden? Like when the Neil Diamond and prisoner opened for Pearl Jam? Did that happen? You didn't see the movie.

That did it happen. Wow. It happened in real life and it happened in the documentary and then it happened in the movie. Wow. Wow. So that story's been told. That story's been told, right? That story's right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, great. And so is this podcast episode. If you would like to treat yourself to something, a moment of unexpected joy. I know what you're going to say. There's a moment in Song Song Blue. Pivotal moment from one of the characters. Pivotal moment in my life.

Really? Yes. Okay. Because it's something that really delighted me and I will have it forever. If you can guess what it is, why don't you post your, guests in the Discord. There you go. There you go. And the dig cord. And the dig cord. Yes. We check the discord a lot more than the... We do. We do check the dig cord hourly. We're super engaged in

there, talk to everybody. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. The dig cord. I feel like I've made friends with a lot of people on the dig cord. Yeah. Well, at the beginning of this episode or this episode, you're saying men can't be friends. I have a paris social relationship with someone. We just don't know anything about each other. We know how much fun we have. We do know how much fun we have Doug! That's right. Okay. What were you going to say? Who cares? Another delightful thing.

Oh, boy. Do you want to treat yourself? Yeah, sure. I do. Sure, we all do. Sign up for CBB World on the Maximus plan. That's a lovely thought. That was wonderful. Yes. And you can gain access to our bonus room content in addition to ad-free episodes, which is most episodes. But you can also hear our bonus content, our movie watch-alongs, our double-date

recording. I dare say pivotal moments happen in those bonus rooms. One thousand percent correct. A lot of them do. Absolutely. You actually can miss a lot. Absolutely. It all goes down in the bonus room. And also if you like to enjoy yourself, you could watch Little Mermaid for God's sake.

Yeah, you could. Maybe I will. That'd be great. For once. I don't know what that meant. We should just stop. I think I need to go put a cold towel on my head. We should stop. You know. And if you could just maybe turn the hot tub down before you do that. Are we talking like, what size towel are we talking? Bigger than you think.

Bigger than you think. Like a bath towel. No, like kind of the towel that you get in a hotel where you're supposed to wipe your feet on the, on the, when you get out of the shower. Oh, bath mat. Kind of like a bath mat towel. Yeah. What's a bath sheet? I don't know.

You ever try to buy towels online and they have a bath towel, but then also a bath sheet? Never heard of that. Is it like a fitted towel? That would be frustrating. Maybe you're supposed to stick your arms and legs in it, you know, Vitruvius style, and then you just dry off that way. That would be kind of a fun towel. Would you like that day? It would be a fun towel.

You just get in there and then you just stretch and then you move a little and then you do it on the other side. I love that. It's kind of a great idea. Should we go to Shark Tank with that? It's nothing but a great idea. Let the towel do the work. Let the towel do the work. Exactly.

Now my approach to that was. was, you know, in a hotel, I would put the towel on the bed. And then I would lie down on that and then another towel on top of me and just let... How do you get the other towel on top of you? By yourself? It's just a towel. It's not that hard. No, but it's sort of hard to do.

I don't know. To cover yourself just right? I, well, okay, here's... Do you want to know my secret? I do. My secret. I do. And then I'll tell my secret.

Okay. I, I whoosh out the towel. Uh-huh. Then it's all the way down at my feet. then I grasp it and I pull it up over me. I see. You know what I had you? I had you face down.

What do you have me doing? I have you doing face down on the towel that's on the bed. Oh. And then grasping for another towel to put up over you. That seems like a lot of work. Well, that's why I reacted that way. Yeah. No, I'm lying face up.

Okay. And pull the towel over me like a shroud. That makes sense. Here's what I do. And then I just let the towels do their work. Okay. Yeah. Whatever Joan and I are in a hotel or motel.

Oh, this is a secret? rarely a motel. You know, they have those signs in the bathroom sometimes to say you can either hang up the towel or just throw it on the ground. Yes. It starts making me feel. It's a social experiment. And they try to pressure you like if you give a shit about the earth.

If you care about the earth or even about us. Like we do. Yeah. So I like to, because that confuses me. Yes. And I start to feel guilty about. I've seen Doug. He'll just stand in the bathroom for like 13 minutes.

Yeah, just reading that. Making sure I really get it. Deliberating. Yeah. So what I do is I try to avoid using. the towels at all. Yeah. I have Joan turn on the clothes iron.

Mm-hmm. And just kind of just waft that in front of me. It's like steaming him. I don't like it either. I don't like that. It's gone wrong several times. Absolutely. Then protective services gets involved.

That's why I am the legal guardian of Doug. Yeah. Doug's changing at the gym. They see a burn mark. Iron burn on him. Yeah. I have kind of a good time. But of course he made a lot of Iron Man jokes and he loved that.

Yeah. And I have a kind of a tramp stamp now that looks like. an iron. Interesting. Okay. We got more out of that than we thought we were going to. We really did. Thank you for listening and we'll be back next week with an all new episode of the

neighborhood listen. It'll be our season finale. Whoa. That went by fast. It really did. Oh, no. What's the matter, babe? Oh, that makes me sad.

Oh, makes Escro sad too. He's meowing away. I don't know if we did enough of our runners. We barely talked about my twin brother. We're going to, listen, it's all going to happen in the season finale. You're the one who didn't. Listen, I can't get the information out of you. When I asked three times and you just, you know, you sort of like basically shuffle me off or sluff me off whatever you want to say, I'm not going to ask any more questions about it. I want you to come ready, come correct with information about it.

I have information. All you wanted to, all you cared about was the incident. No. When it's something that affects you. You want to know what? Now, come on. We're talking about. This affects me just as much. John, I feel like we've been very contentious this whole episode and it's not like us.

And I want to say I'm sorry. Thank you for that. All right, goodbye. And bye. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed. The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins. And me, Nicole Parker.

And me, Brett Morris. This episode's guest was played by Michaela Watkins. The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang World. Go to CBBWorld.com to unlock the entire history of the show, ad-free, as well as brand new full-length bonus room episodes. exclusive to Maximus subscribers. Your support keeps the show going. Hi, I'm Casey Klapp. And I'm Alex Kroeson. And we are the hosts of Completely Arbitrary, the podcast about trees and other related topics. Each episode, we

feature a tree species from around the world and have a discussion about its unique position in culture, ecology, and history. Topics range from urban forestry to folk mythology, From evolutionary biology to popular culture and much, much more. Don't have a Ph.D. in biology? Don't worry. Neither do we. This podcast's mission is to provide approachable science to audiences of all experience levels and reconnect people with the nature around us. With plenty of silly games, parody songs, and awful puns to help the medicine go down.

New episodes drop every Thursday, so subscribe to completely arbitrary on Spotify, Apple Podcast, or wherever you. You get your podcasts. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast, that was us, now on Headgum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show, This Is Us. That's right.

We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors. Are we going to cry? Yes, a little bit. Are we going to laugh? A lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man.

Listen to That Was Us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.