The Neighborhood Listen - When Nothing Happens, Everybody Is Happy with Mitch Silpa

Episode Date: June 24, 2025

Burnt, Joan and Doug close out season 8 with individual chuckles, movie references*, and family lore! Their guest this week from the NeighborhApp is Duke, who had an intriguing encounter with a driver in a red pickup truck.*This is not a movie podcast Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for the Maximus plan to unlock this episode and ALL seasons of The Neighborhood Listen ad-free, as well as full length exclusive BONUS ROOM episodes adventuring deeper into Dignity Falls!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website. Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad-free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of The Bonus Room, go to CBBWorld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership.

And now, please enjoy this episode of... The Neighborhood Listen! Knock, knock. Who's there? Your neighbor. Good! And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen! Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor! Good! In Dignity Falls, you're never alone You've got the Neighbor Half App and us!

Bert! And Joan! From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell We'll cover it all And meet new neighbors as well We'll chat about any posts you're missing So just tune in to The Neighborhood Listen. Welcome once more and for the final time this season.

Just this season, not final time, don't get worried, it's not final final. Right, I did say this season. I know you did. Immediately. I think I was saying for me, I got really sad for a minute. I think I was like, oh no, I can't imagine. I can't imagine. I can't imagine.

I can't imagine ever. What is it? What is it the one? I know it's already not a movie podcast and we're already talking about a movie. It's not a movie podcast. But you know, famously in Sound of Music, when she goes to the mother abyss,

and she says, I can't, I can't. And she says, what is it? Oh, someone just turned the volume up really high and burns ears. And he made a face I've never seen him make before. That was like, We are off to a quite a start. I felt like I was at Gitmo. And they were trying to get some information out of it. But you've never been to Gitmo, right, Burns? Right?

I don't think so, not that I know of. What I was going to say is, you know, that famous line from Mother Abbess, and she says, what is it? What is this, you cunt face? Right? I'm not familiar with this. Oh, you got to look it up, it's real fun, Burns.

Cause that's really what she says. That's incredible. It's definitely what she says. That sweet incredible. It's definitely what she says. That's sweet mother abbebs. Do you think the actors didn't like each other on screen? Yes, absolutely. Everyone hated Julie Andrews. Famous monster.

Famous monster. But yes, I can't imagine our final episode. So I got really sad and I had to convince myself, no, it's only for now. Only for now. Yes, I'm going to restart the introduction. Please do. Please do.

Because we really didn't get that far. How are your ears? Are you okay? I could do with a little less of my calves right now. That was helpful. Thank you very much. Doug, we'll meet our engineer in one second. He will be our engineer in one second right now.

He's not. The engineer will reveal his or herself. You're on probation right now. So welcome to the Neighborhood Listen for the final time this season. Of course we will be back next season, but this is our season finale. This is the Neighborhood Listen, the podcast that looks at the neighborhood of Dignity Falls through the eyes of its inhabitants. I am one of them. My name is Bert Mia Paide.

I am the chief, well, pharmacist and chief. I should, I could have said chief pharmacist and gotten away with it. You totally could have. You totally could have. You totally could have. It's the same thing. I know. It's a real hang up. The pharmacist in chief is a real hang up, it turns out.

It's just, it's a mouthful. It really is. It's like, you know who I feel like? Spider-Man from the 1960s cartoon. Why is that? Wherever there's a hang up. Because they say, this was not for children. No.

Because the theme song ends by saying, to him, life is a great big hangup. Wherever there's a hangup, you'll find the Spider-Man. Wow. Yeah, that's bleak. That also sounds like the way someone's dad talks. Yeah, it's not for kids. So life is a great big hangup.

Exactly. Dude, Don Draper, who wrote this? Roger Sterling. It was a very bleak cartoon in the way that it looked. I'm not familiar with it really. And the way that it sounded. Oh, do yourself a disfavor and look up some clips on YouTube. Sounds great. It's a bummer.

Okay. Anyway, my name is Burt Miapiti, I'm the pharmacist and chief of the Dignity Falls Missy and with me as always is Joan Pedestrian. I am the top realtor here in Dignity Falls and local actress. That's correct. We couldn't be happier to be together. So true. Celebrating a wonderful season. Yes. And did we, we decided this was, this was season, uh, what would season, season Nate, was that

what this was? We never decided. We never decided after all that, but I think season eight, I remember saying I liked that the best. I like that, okay. I'm gonna say- Because it's season eight, but you go right into season eight.

I'm gonna say, let's not bother at this point. It's the last episode of the season. This season went unnamed. You can't take it away from me. You can't make me not think of it as season eight. Of course, I cannot control your mind. I'm reclaiming my season eight. Okay, Maxine Waters.

And of course we have Joan's husband, Doug, our engineer. Now our engineer, yes. Who is in another part of the home. He records us remotely from not that far away. I don't quite understand why, but let's talk to him. Doug, how are you doing? I'm good. How are you? Doug, is there someone there with you?

Are you okay? Yeah, he's talking like he's in danger or something. For some reason, I feel like I've never been on mic before in this moment. Really? Why do you think you feel like that, Doug? Why do you think you feel like that, Doug? Why do you think you feel like that, Doug? I don't know. I think there's something about this room I'm in.

Uh-oh. Oh. That just, it's the Oracle cave. Oh boy. Another cave. I asked for him not to do another cave. I can't handle another cave. You don't think it's less about the cave and more about the Oracle. We now have three caves. It's less about the cave and more about the Oracle. We now have three caves. It's less about the cave and more about the Oracle. So is there anything cave like about the room? Oh, thank God.

It's not underground. Does it look like a cave? Yeah. Oh, okay. What is this, babe? But a cave is just stone and rock. I mean, you can't monopolize a rock. A cave is the absence of some rock, essentially.

Sure. But I mean- Yeah, but there's some rock. Sure. Essentially. But there's some rock left over. Okay, but why is it a cave? What do you mean by oracle cave? So what's freaking you out about it? Yeah, let's get off the cave part and start talking about that oracle. Because that's what you want us to focus on.

But you just said it's more about the oracle. Joan could talk about the cave all day, but you have your agenda. That's right. There's a little kind of a pool of water in the middle. That's where the oracle will sit. Oh, I know. He's thinking, I know, I haven't been in there to see it, but I guarantee you it looks like Romancy the Stone.

If you remember that, do you remember how the very end? Of course I don't. Have I seen it? Yes. Do I remember even one second of it? No. You can't even give me a classic burn out here are the three things I remember from Manzini's.

No, I remember nothing. Oh wait, wait, I remember one thing. Go for it. Go for it. Okay. I'm so I love it when we do these. I believe it is Michael Douglas sliding down a hill into Kathleen Turner's crotch. Correct.

The one thing I remember. You got that right. And of course, sorry, number two. I knew it. I knew you had some. The theme song sung by Eddie Grant of Electric Avenue fame. And it went like, of course I can't sing more than one note.

That part I could do. That's Electric Avenue. Electric Avenue. Oh, very good, that's another song you could do. That's right. Oh, excellent, I love that. I can't do the beginning, I can't do, we're gonna walk down two.

I think we have a B-side now for you, Burn. I mean, we really have't do the beginning. I can't do, we're gonna rock down two. I think we have a B side now for you, Burn. I mean, we really have a lot of songs now. This is gonna be an incredible medley. You know what? But he sings, I'm a man in the stone. Yep. That was the chorus. That's right.

I'm a man in the stone. Never leaving your poor heart alone. Well, I loved this movie. And so I watched it several times back in the day. You changed the tune. Did I? I see. That's how I remembered in my head. That's a different tune. You know that you changed the tune. Did I? I see it.

That's how I remembered in my head. That's a different tune. You know that you had no tune though, right? You only sing it on one note. Joan. I'm just saying. You don't have to rub it in. I'm just saying.

I know I can only sing one note. It's just kind of funny for you to correct me on the melody when you just sang all the same notes. No, I'm not correcting you on the melody. I'm saying that's a different song and I can't place it. Okay, well I- Sing it again. No, I feel like I'm wrong. I thought it was

I'm romancing the stone, but that's probably wrong. That's probably wrong. That is something else though. That tune is something else. Oh, it is? Okay. Well, it's not romancing the stone. Anyways, they're trying to find the stone and when they finally find it, it's supposed to be, they have this, they have this, it's in a cave and it's supposed to be like, it's a Leche de Madre. It's like mother's milk because they're reading this map, this map they've been following. You don't even remember like Mediol Mule, Pepe, you know, the guy who like drives a jeep.

I can't wait for listeners to get back to us about this. But it's a real fun time. No, actually I can't remember the character's name, but no, this was a man and I'm not gonna know exactly where he's from, but no, he's actually, I'm embarrassed I can't remember his name right now because he actually went on to do many things. He's fantastic.

But yes, they end up in a cave and then there's milk dripping down from a stalactite. Tikes, like tight. Oh, right. It's not really milk. It just is white. And so that's probably why they named it milk. That's not better.

That's disgusting. Anyways, Doug and I, we love romancing the stone. So is that what you made it look like, babe? Yes, just like that. Because you love this movie. He loves this movie. You both love it. Doug, that includes you.

We love it. It's one of those movies that, you know, you turn it on and if it's like turn on the TV and it's in the middle of the movie, wherever it is, we're going to sit and watch it. I've never seen the beginning. You what? I've only started in the middle. Is that, wherever it is, we're gonna sit and watch it. I've never seen the beginning. You what? I've only started in the middle.

Is that true, man? And I love it, yeah. So he loves the second half of Man Seen the Stone. Do you know what, recently I finally saw Grease in chronological order. Oh, really? I had seen scenes from Grease. Really?

Over the years, this one, that one, never saw them all in a row. Okay. And I finally, for the first time, and I realized, yes, I've seen this entire movie, just not in the way it was really. I saw a weird cut that was my own cut. Okay, your own cut. Yeah, that took place over decades.

That's quite a way to watch a movie. But now, Romancing the Stone, I have seen hide nor hair of this movie since its release. Danny DeVito is in movie. He's very funny. I remember that. Yeah. Does that count as a thing I remember? I think so. Okay.

I remember the three leads and then they did a sequel. They did. It was called Jewel of the Nile. Jewel of the Nile. And it didn't do as well. And then they tried to do War of the Roses years later. Not the same characters. Yes.

But it was kind of supposed to be like a three-quel, but it was just getting the game back together. He was also in that one. Correct. Played a lawyer. This is not a movie podcast. I want to reiterate this is about Stiff Nibby Falls. It's about the neighborhood. Can we go back to the Oracle? Why is it bothering you? So how does this work? Do you go in and you pass? Oh, Doug sounds a little mad there. He got a little uppity.

Okay, Doug. We had a little, oh. We'll check in with the Oracle very quickly and then we do have to go back to talking about romance. If I could talk about Greece for one second, please. Please. You know, it's been giving me a chuckle lately. What's that Doug? Oh, I like this new segment. It's time for Doug's chuckle. Take it away, Doug.

You know, I was listening to some old doo-wop. Okay. You don't like the new stuff? I like the first stuff. And you know, it's just great music and all the, you know, like the raw nets and these girls. Absolutely. It's fantastic teenage love songs.

Sure. It was fantastic teenage love songs. And then I completely had forgotten the association with like kind of New York, Greece, like kind of guys in New York who are in gangs. Doug, I'm imagining you like jerking your shoulders up and down. Could you hear the shoulders going up and down? I could feel like I could hear his shoulders. Like tough guys in gangs who are listening to Jula. Oh, hey.

Like it's really, it's just a funny association. Stand around a trash can full of fire. Yeah. Except for where were they? I know it was shot in Los Angeles, but where is it supposed to take place? I can't remember. I know there's probably a town that they name, right?

Well, it's Rydell High. Right. I don't know if it's Rydell. But even, but that's based on a- It's clearly California. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong. It's based on a real culture of guys back then though. I see. And that just struck you.

Yeah. Like there's actual gangs who are getting into trouble and getting into fights. There were guys walking around that looked like Fonzie. Yeah. That were hitting each other with chains. And Doo-Wop is their music. That would fire them up to go out and do violence. No, this is a real thing. Yeah.

They'd hear... And by the way, that's been giving you a chuckle. That's what's been giving you a chuckle. That's been giving me a chuckle. Imagine them walking down the street. These are guys. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Burton Jones chuckle. Oh, Doug's having a chuckle about it. It is funny. Greasers beating each other up, listening to you do all these things. These were tough guys you were actually afraid of back then, you know? Yeah, I get that.

Troublemakers. Yeah. And they listen to the nicest music. But... Pretty Little Age of Lies. Yeah, music that does not sound threatening or menacing in any way. That is true. I knew you'd do Pretty Little Age of Lies.

Yeah, it was really good. You are getting two tones sometimes. No, am I really? Near the end of the season, every time you seem to get a few tones extra. Wow! It's happened before. Wow, that's exciting.

We really need to track your musical journey if we went back to the beginning. We really do. We'll get to it. But I really need to know about the Oracle and why it's weirding you out, babe. Well, my mother fancies herself an Oracle. What's her name again?

Really? What's your mom's name again? Beautiful. Beautiful corn? That's right. I knew beautiful corn. What a lovely name. Well, I mean, that wasn't her maiden name, of course.

Yeah, what was her maiden name? Cruller. Cruller. C-R-U-E-L-E-R. Yeah, like the donut. No, I knew he was going to make that joke. He always does. Yes, she was really...

People were so rude that they would actually call her by, they call her Cruller and that was somehow more upsetting to her than being teased for being named Cruller. Well, the name Beautiful didn't invite a lot of great feedback. Yes, so that's why, of course, she took Doug's dad's name, of course, Beautiful Corn, and that's her name, Beautiful Corn. And sorry, why were we talking about your mom again? And what's your dad's name again? Flip. Flip.

Flip and beautiful. Flipper. Yeah. Oh, short for Flipper. Yeah. Okay. I didn't know that. We always call him Flip. Yeah. Really? Since you't know that. We always call him flip. Yeah. Really, since you were kids, you didn't call him dad? It was kind of interchangeable. You could say pop a flip or a flip. Popcorn. Popcorn.

We never said that. That was Jones chuckle. That was Jones chuckle, all right. He would get furious if you said that. Popcorn? Why? You called him popcorn? Oh, popcorn.

Yeah, that wasn't allowed. What about pop corn? It was the only time. Somehow that was better. Popcorn? Popcorn? Popcorn. Popcorn.

Sounds like that shuck a con. Exactly. Yup. I love it when we're on the same page. I do too. Oracle. I've always wanted to give her an Oracle cave. Wait, why does she think she's an Oracle?

This is a long-held desire of yours to give beautiful corn an Oracle cave. Don't let De Beers know everyone's going to be going for an Oracle cave now on Valentine's. They're going to be out of business. She's always given people fortunes and predictions. Has she ever been right about them? Yeah, oftentimes. What's her hit rate? Really?

What's her hit rate? And be honest. I think over 50%. What's one an example? What's one an example? What's one an example? That's an expression here in Dignity Falls. What's one an example?

Such as? What's one example? That's an expression here in Dignity Falls. What's one example? Yes, I'm calling it such as. Of a fortune she gave someone and it came true. She predicted that Carl's Jr. or Hardee's would never come into this town. Wow. Okay. So far she's right. Yeah. Technically, because Hardee's Jr. did come to town. It did. Yeah. Which has nothing to do with either one of those. Completely unaffiliated. It's Tom Hardee's restaurant. Yeah. And everyone, no matter who works at the drive-through, their voice is like, what do you have? Order, take control of your order. Do you know, I hear that pain voice whenever I get something from FedEx. They send you an email

when you read the email, like the tracking email and it's, it will always say, take control of your order. Babe, do you remember? You know what I have to say? Hang on just a second. I have to say. Hold on a second. I'm sorry, was that too dismissive of you, babe? I apologize. Oh, it's probably not for me to say. I jumped right at them. You started first. I got excited.

I'm just saying there was a big response from your Forrest Whitaker, a Rogue One character voice that you did last week. And now I feel like those two need to have a conversation between your main voice and your... You come here, you try to tell me, I tell you. And thank you. You know, in the dig court, somebody explained to me what his whole thing was.

Oh, is that right? Did you retain it? He was, yes is that right? Did you retain it? Yes, he's a... Did you retain it? I did retain it. Were you able to remember information, Bruce? He was one of the good guys. He was a rebel, but he was an extremist.

And so the regular rebel alliance was maybe a little leery of getting involved with him because he was ready to use all kinds of violence and methods to thwart the empire. Okay. And so, and that's why his vocal cords were shot? No. I remember why his vocal cords were shot. Oh, why? Because he was some kind of mechanic or something, and he worked with these dangerous fumes. Oh, okay. And so after a while, he stopped protecting himself from them and would just like breathe them in and he got a young guy who was, you know, kind of, he was mentoring

to do the same thing. It looked like a terrible idea and because the guy, basically he's saying you get used to it. But then when you see him in Rogue One, which is after the events of Andor, he is of course using a Frank Booth style oxygen mask. I mean, how many movies have we talked about in just the last 15 minutes? More than a few, and a couple of TV shows. And a couple of TV shows. We were starting to branch out. Okay, so you always wanted to build her an Oracle cave.

Why? Because can she get like a closer sense of an or of like, of what the fortune's gonna be if there's a cave? Yeah, she can take clients in there. She's gonna take, oh, your mama's gonna do business out of our house? Yeah, remember, babe, she knew when you were pregnant before anyone else.

Well, yeah, but she said it was gonna be, she didn't predict the second one. She predicted was I was pregnant with the twins, but she only said it was going to be one. And we all know that the second boy was a surprise and came 24 hours later. Of course, I'm talking about my twins, Matt and... Nope, nope.

Matt and nope, nope! Which is what I said when he came out! You know, I never heard that story and I always wondered... Yep, it was... Nope, nope! No, I'm not taking that one! I always wondered. Yep, it was right. Nope, nope. No, I'm not taking that one. I was told by my mother-in-law. I'm not taking that one.

Beautiful told me that I was having only one. Beautiful corn told me. Beautiful corn told me and she's never wrong. She's got a pretty good rate. Call them nope squared sometimes. Yes, we do sometimes. That's fun. That's fun.

It is fun. It is fun. It is fun. It is fun. I think sometimes he feels a little bit bad about it because I mean, if there was ever the time when you felt like you were like the accident child, I mean, the name would indicate that. You know, I've always wondered if I was because I'm, of course, I'm an only child of only children. Yes.

And I've often wondered if they, if they meant to have a child since they were only children themselves. Did they want, you could see it going either way. That either they would say, well, we want to have a child because we don't want to just be just us. Or they could say, no, I did not grow up with any children. So why would I want that? And you never talked to them about it? No, we didn't talk a lot, me and my friend.

I know, every time I hear about your childhood. Did you ever explain where Bernt came from and how they decided to name you that? It was something to do with our coarse-skinned heritage. Okay, yes, I know that. But my mom used to call me Berntie.

Oh, that's sort of cute. And my dad used to call me Mr. Bernt. Okay, that seems so formal. When did he start doing that? How young did that start? As far back as I can remember. Oh dear.

Yeah, yeah. He would do it in front of other people too. Just look at a toddler and say, Mr. Burnt. Mr. Burnt, little Mr. Burnt. Yeah, my dad was very formal. Okay. Yeah, we shook hands a lot. Really?

We shook hands. I would go to bed, we would shake hands. He would say goodnight, Mr. Prent. I have never heard of a goodnight handshake. I would say goodnight, sir. Oh dear. He would say, would you like me to turn off this light? And I would say, I would appreciate it.

Oh, wow. Oh my goodness. But this really, every time I get a little window into your childhood, it explains a whole lot. So can you tell me, babe, when your mom is gonna be coming and doing this and how often what her hours are gonna be? Oh yeah, what are her oracle hours? What her oracle is for anyone who wants to listen.

I mean, who is listening and wants to come in. Yeah, if you wanna have your fortune told. In the dead of night. No, that's not. Are you kidding me? We can't do that. I can't have people coming in and having to hide. What do you consider the dead of night?

It's darkest before dawn. That's not true. That's another sentence that doesn't have anything to do with what he just asked. It's also, I guess it is. That's one of those expressions where it's like, okay. Exactly. Fine.

Yeah, I would say probably three to four. I don't want people coming into our house from three to four in the morning. She's never had a real career of her own and she's really inspired right now. Oh, she is? Okay. Why? By what? Like the Oracle's really like, that's really hitting really hard right now or something. Is it like the season?

Or Oracle's popping off currently? That's what I was looking for. Well, she saw there's a company. She sucks. No, I don't think she's just being more reflective. And she just thinks, you know, she always should have done this. Okay. And I said, as a job, instead of just for free.

What does she charge? What does she charge for a reading? It's usually kind of a barter system. Oh, dude. To bring her... That makes sense. That makes sense, yeah. Items of value.

A chicken. Oh, boy. Yeah. I feel like this would be very disruptive to her sleep and to her home, babe, I have to say. Oh, yeah. Where is the Oracle cave in relation to say, like your bedroom? You got to go down to the left. It's, I don't come on.

Down to the left of what you can't just say down to the left of the fire pole. Cause of course you put a fire pole in the corner of a powerful, it's a powerful fire pole in the corner of the bedroom. So that's what he means. You have to go down to the left. I kind of converted the mud room into the Oracle. Yes, because we're not really allowed to have mud rooms

in dignity falls. Everyone sort of has to disguise them as other things. You know, we've discussed that, but we, Oh, we've discussed. Well, we discussed it. It has been discussed. Yes. But I also want to tell you that you know

that the boys are going to do weird shit down there because like they'll hide in the reflective pool. I know it's the, listen, I am not swore at Harley at all this season. It's true, Doug. And I get one swear. I'm not coming at you. Yes, you are.

You gave me a bep, bep, bep. You know, I can feel your shoulders. You were doing one of those greased things. Savage Doug impression. One of those, one of those, one of those grease guys. You know, like, beb, beb, beb. Do up. He tagged it with a do up.

Did you ever see video? I saw a video of a Shana Na. This was around the time when they would have been, you know, opening Woodstock and so forth. But when they, they were- This is the guy with like Bowser, right? Yes, John Bowser Bowman. Correct, yes.

With the big mouth. Not to be confused with like Bowser, right? Yes, John Bowser Bowman. Correct, yes. With the big mouth. Not to be confused with Martha Ray the big mouth. Oh boy. Who did Polygen commercials. Or Fixed Event, I can't remember which. It doesn't matter. And this video, I'm gonna try to find it for you. Okay, okay.

Because they are doing the Get a Job song. Yes. And it's a bunch of them crowded around a mic and they look like, they look like street guys. Like they are not, they don't look like they're in 50s costumes. They look like dudes that would literally rumble. Okay. And they are singing the fastest, most urgent version of get a job you've ever heard. Is that when it dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip,

dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip,

dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, , dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip sweet spot. Yeah, well, okay, I would love to see that because that would probably, it sounds like it would be another chuckle for me. But I have to tell you,

I really don't want Matt and Nope-Nope down there. You can't have Matt and Nope-Nope going down there. You're not supposed to look into the reflective pool on your own without an oracle to guide you. Wait, so she, so is the idea that Beautiful will sit at the edge of the, the reflective pool and gaze into it.

Yeah. Here's what I see. Great question. I was picturing a romance in the stone, which is tiny. I have no frame of reference. It's like the size of a cocktail table top. You know what exactly would now that immediately. I know it lets you know.

Absolutely. Like a three top. Sure. Exactly. Yeah. it lets you know. Absolutely. Like a three top shirt. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The high stools. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I thought it was. Is it bigger than that? It's a cable tent advertising the specials. It's wait. Yes. Is it what they've kiddie pool? It's pretty big Oracle pool. Yeah. They're definitely going to hide in it and they're going to scare her and it's going to

be a problem. I'm a hide it. What? Like they're going to breathe through reads. You're talking about boys that What, like they're gonna breathe through reeds? You're talking about boys that hid themselves in the walls of my house for a couple months. But you can breathe behind a wall. You can't breathe underwater. They'll find a way. Yeah, they probably will. Nope, nope. Tell us about you, Burn. We haven't talked about you at all right now.

I'm fine. Tell us about you, Berm. We haven't talked about you at all right now. So what's... What do you... Oh, fine. You know that Billy, the exceptionally tall pharmacist. Billy Wood Snatch. A Billy Wood Snatch.

A Billy Wood Snatch. The smarmacist I started calling him. Oh, I love that. That's good. He passed away. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. to do with his death. His height had to do with his death. The blood was all spread around. Sorry, babe. What's that? The blood was all spread around.

In his body. It was fear that tall. It's not getting anywhere. I think that's the standard thing for blood to do. It's just swishing around in there. Swishing around. What do you quite mean by that? What do you mean by that?

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm that tall. It's not getting anywhere. I think that's the standard thing for blood to do. It's just swishing around in there. Swishing around. What do you quite mean by that? What could be the death? What do you quite mean? Well, the blood's gotta go to the feet, then it's like, oh shit, we gotta go over there.

You think it's the same blood. So you let the blood. Making a trip through all the limbs. And the blood swears all the time. We gotta fucking go elsewhere. Exactly. But not me. The blood cells are.

Yes, the blood cells. And then he's like a puddle of blood that's traversing the human body. He's doing a crossword puzzle. Oh, we got to get back to the brain. Billy would never do. Billy would snatch, but would never do a crossword puzzle. No, he certainly won't. Now, for that.

Well, I'm sorry. Now I feel weird asking, but I feel weirdword puzzle. No, he certainly won't now. He's smart enough for that. You threw the mini. Well, now I feel weird asking, but I feel weird not asking, what did he die of? You said he was so tall. Because he was so tall and his height played a factor in his death. He had this, he had a birthday party and he rented a stretch Hummer. Of course he did.

And he's only got two friends. Oh, that's terrible. Yeah. A stretch limit for three people. Yeah. Okay. And so they're in there and they're just, from what I heard from one of the guys, Gary,

it was a pretty grim affair and people were not having fun. Oh gosh, that was before the death. And yeah, before the death. And Billy said, what do I have to do guys? And he opened up the sun roof. Meaning just what do I get to do to just make this party great? To make this fun, yeah.

Oh, so he just knew it was going poorly. Oh, there was, according to Gary, it was obvious to everyone. They were sitting in silence, fully stock bar, no glasses. Oh dear. Yeah. That is grim. It was grim.

The radio, the limo driver said, I'm so sorry, my satellite radio isn't working. I'm just going to sing some songs for you. Oh, wow. And so he just did some top 40 hits that he could remember. Okay. And he didn't have the best voice, couldn't remember an entire song. Very sad. You know, it was bad.

And he kept repeating, he kept repeating, dress you up in my love. Because that was what he the most of. Okay. But then you said Billy opened the sunroof? Is that right? Billy said, what is it going to take fellas? Okay. And he opened the sunroof and he said, how about this?

This is a thing people do. He opens up the sunroof. They were going under an underpass. Oh, come on. He hereditaryed himself? were going under an underpass. Oh boy. He hereditaryed himself. He hereditaryed himself. Oh my God. That is terrible. It was really, it was, I mean, it didn't improve things.

The party didn't get better after that. I'll tell you that much. I hope the limo driver wasn't continuing to sing. Oh my God. Of course he was at top volume. Cause he probably didn't notice at first. No my God, of course he was at top volume. Cause he probably didn't notice at first. No, he didn't. Because he put up the window? Is that why?

I'm just saying. Doug's very fascinated with like, you know, whether the limbo driver decides to put up that window. He loves that window. Love that. The window, yeah. The limbo window. The limo window.

Love limo window. Love limo window. It was cracked down a little bit, obviously, so they could hear him singing. And when he heard the head hit, he thought they were stomping their feet in the back. And so he went into, we will rock you. This is quite a tale. The guys, they started that perked them up and they started singing along. Oh, give me a break.

They did not. Gary admitted to that? Well, it's the first thing he did. He was strange and he would be telling you the story. With shame. With shame in his voice. Okay, good. I'm glad to hear he was ashamed.

Because the body was still. Tell that part of the story. The body was still. And he died. And guess what? Because his shoulders were up there keeping him in place. Oh, no. He's tall.

He's a tall guy. We have been very clear about the fact that he was tall. And now I feel like we probably should go to a break. Yeah, we should. We've been going for a while. You know, I don't really want to leave everybody with that, but we've been talking for too long and now we just mentioned a terrible death. I think that's a first.

I mean, all deaths are terrible if you think about it, but they're also all wonderful because we all die. Oh no. Look, who are you, Jodie Ernst? All right, we'll be back with more of The Neighbor Listen when The Neighbor Listen returns. With new McValue and McDonald's, you get more than you expect. So after a long day, buy a double cheeseburger and add a McChicken for a dollar. Because saving with deals is always on the menu with new McValue.

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It's two-tone long wavy wig, style A2572. Everyone knows that when you need a wig, you go to Leg Avenue. You know, Leg Avenue Avenue the place for wigs for your head leg Avenue if you want to be Cruella DeVille or I don't know just toast a gabbard for a day come and get this wig from leg Avenue. And welcome back to the neighborhood listen we have a guest Joan. We do. As we always do we scour the neighbor app the social networking application for neighborhoods

and we look for interesting people in Dignity Falls with which to speak. With which to speak? With whom to speak? With whom to speak. And this week is no different. And listen, if you see a post that you think we should talk about, maybe we've overlooked it, why don't you screenshot it and send it to us at bernandjohn at gmail.com. As this listener did, this comes to us from Monica Thomas. Thank you Monica for sending this in.

This is in the crime and safety section and it is submitted. It is posted by Duke. Duke says, okay, this afternoon at about 4 45 p.m. A red pickup pulled up in my front yard. I went out to ask him if he wanted to run his dog in my yard. He said yes. I explained to him that it is not that I am mean or being an asshole, but I don't want that kind of legal liability. The fence is not in good condition.

His dog can get loose and attack other people, and he and his dog can get injured on my property. When nothing happens, everybody is happy. But if something happens, I don't want to be held responsible. He said he understood and wouldn't do it again. I feel bad because I might have disappointed him, but I have to protect myself because it is a red Chevy pickup. I couldn't help wondering if he was the one who let a dog poop in my backyard a few days ago, but I didn't ask. He is a very handsome guy with crystal clear

bluish green eyes and he talked like a gentleman. I wasn't mad at that guy who let his dog fertilize my lawn either, but it will be better if he led his dog close to the woods. I don't want my lawn mower to run over dog poop. I am upset when I can't tell who is a thief and who is not, but I know this gentleman is a decent person only wanting to run his dog a little. Again, my building was vandalized by thieves last year and I suffered an enormous loss for which I still haven't recovered.

I'm here to operate a business, not to offend anyone. Oh my God. And then there's a brief addendum where he says, I am licensed to practice law. I am a licensed attorney registered to practice law. All right. And here he is. Here to tell us his story, if there's any left is Duke.

Hi Duke. Oh hi Duke. Welcome to the show. Well, it's so nice to have, and that was beautifully read. Oh, well done, Bernd. He loves how you read his post. Thank you so much. I tried to read it in a reasonable and fair manner.

I love, you see, you're very reasonable. And I wrote that. I was very careful with my word choices because I am a lawyer. Absolutely. Yes, as it says. And I'm, as I said, very much at the end, it's called a reveal. Very much at the end. It was quite a reveal. Well, I didn't want someone just starting at the beginning and thinking, oh, this is a lawyer talking. Why didn't you want that?

Because people have attitudes about lawyers. They have a preconceived notion. That's very true. This man's going to tell me what's what. And I wasn't. I just wanted you to know about this red pickup truck and my lawn and the dog. Can I ask you one thing? I'm so sorry. I mean, I have so many, but you go first. You can ask me more than one thing. We will. We will.

Thank you for that. I almost kind of want to start doing his accent. We will. It's hard not to. I'm fighting with every fiber of my brain. I understand. That's all right. Can I tell you, I almost stopped myself when I was reading.

Did you? Because I thought, as I was going on, I thought I must have said something wrong. No, you said it right. I was very careful with my word choice. The red pickup pulled up in front of your yard. You went out to ask him if he wanted to run his dog, which I thought like, oh, he's offering. But then he said yes and Duke explained to him that he doesn't want him to do that.

I don't. Yeah. Okay, I was confused. Okay. But here's the deal. Here's the deal. Here's the deal. Here's the deal.

Here's the deal. Here's the deal. My tongue and teeth did not do the D. Sorry about that. Dentures? No, not dentures. Don't you worry. Not yet anyhow.

No, if you are having problems with dentures, I am a lawyer. Oh, good. So I can take you to court and sue somebody. Wow, that would be quite a case. If you were able to sue someone, because there are problems with your dentures. Accidentures.

There's accidentures. Hi, I'm Duke. I'm an accidenture lawyer. Dos dos dos dos dos dos dos. Oh, are you really? Oh, OK. I've seen you on the back of buses. Accidentures. Accidentures. I'm Duke. Oh, you're of course with your signature mustache.

Yes, holding the sign. I've never seen such a blonde mustache. No. Thank you. It's all natural. I do a double take every time mustache before. No! Thank you, it's all natural. I do a double take every time I see it. Same. Oh, it is a mustache, it is there. When I walk into court, often the judges go, is that real?

I said, oh, judge, we have this conversation every time. Of course, I already have an objection. Oh, that's fun. I'm objecting to the fact that we talked about this. I love that, That is fun. Accidentures. Accidentures. Accidentures.

Problems with your teeth or your teeth. I'm Duke, your accidentures lawyer. So my question for you, Duke, is why in the world when someone... Is that how you want to say it? I didn't mean to. Why in the world? But it was so surprising to me. If someone drove into my driveway, I would not immediately think, oh, you want to start? I didn't mean to. Why in the world? But it was so surprising to me. If someone drove into my driveway, I would not immediately think, oh, they want to run

their dog in my lawn. No, you wouldn't. I would think, who are you? And I'm a little scared, but it sounds like you actually were very accommodating to him. What did you, what made you think he wanted? Let's start with what made you think he wanted to run his dog? Can I take a crack at answering? Oh, sure.

Why not? Okay. Thank you for saving me. Here's what I think. Because it took me a while to put it together as well. Because there was a previous incident. That's it. With this car?

With this guy? No, there was some dog poop in my backyard. I understand that. You should understand. So you weren't asking this in a nice way. You were kind of like, are you here to do... No, I did ask it in a nice way. You did. But you were trying to get information.

I get it. I said, are you here to run your dog? Oh, like a lawyer, like a lawyer. Excuse me. And you never ask a question you don't know the answer to. I was leading him. I was leading. Yes, I love that.

Excuse me. I was looking into his luscious eyes. Oh yes, you did. We will get to the eyes. I have many questions about the eyes. I love that. Excuse me. I was looking into his luscious eyes.

Oh yes, you did. We will get to the eyes. I have many questions about the Yes, I love that. Excuse me. I was looking into his luscious eyes. Oh yes, you did. We will get to the eyes. I have many questions about the eyes. Blueish green. Yes, and such a beautiful illustrative description. Thank you. I really appreciate it.

I am a lawyer. But here's my other question. You said building, which makes me think you're in an apartment. So how do you have such a big yard? Well, no, see, this is what maybe I wasn't clear enough. The yard was in front of my house, but I did have, I do also have a building in that, where I'm a lawyer in my office.

Your lawyer building? I was, cause I said- This was your lawyer building? I don't like thieves is what I said. That's right. Cause someone broke into my building. This was not where the dog pooped. You say you suffered an enormous loss.

Yes, can you describe the enormous loss? It was so emotional. Oh, so it was more of an emotional loss than a literal, sort of tangible loss. Something was taken from my office. What was it? It was my, I have a raggedy, excuse me. I have a raggedy, raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy chest set. Chest set?

I have had since childhood. And are the pieces lips? I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm here to answer any of your questions. I don't remember a ton about the Raggedy Ann and Andy extended characters, but it's just the two of them, is it not? It is just the two of them. I don't think there's a bigger universe than the two of them. There was no Raggedy Anthony. So it's one side.

There was no Raggedy. No Raggedy Angie. No, no. So it is just one side is Raggedy Anne, the other side Raggedy. It's clear when one has a queen, one's a queen, and one's a grown. There's a Raggedy ant dressed as a bishop,

in a bishop hat, as a horse, and rooks. And now- But it must be confusing because yeah, if they fall over, they're going to fall over into another square. It's got to be infuriating to play with, with pieces that like slump over. Well, one person's infuriating, and another person's fun.

He confirmed that they are limp. They are little rag doll chest pieces. They're not hardened chest pieces. They're playing with bean bags. Can I also say this? It's exactly like bean bags. If you take Raggedy Ann and Andy out of their signature wardrobe and put them in costumes and chest pieces,

how can you tell the difference between them? Good question, Bert. Raggedy Ann has just the beginning of facial stubble. So this is there slightly in the future. What a subtle game this is. You really have to be detail-oriented. I don't know if you've ever noticed on a raggedy auntie doll. I haven't.

I have not. I know. Have you just got a peace buzz? I'm subtle, because it is a child Because it is a child. You do forget. You do forget. You do forget that they're children. Yes, he did. But he was advanced, I think.

His hair was advanced. Raggedy hair. Raggedy. Were they hobos? Can you explain? Were they raggedy hobos? I don't think so. I think they were just made out of rags was the thing.

Are they orphans? They do seem like it. I think they're four orphans. I don't like thinking about that. I don't like thinking about that. I don't like thinking about that. I don't like thinking about that. I don't like thinking about that. I don't like thinking about that. I don't like thinking about that. I don't like thinking about that. I don't think so. I think they were just made out of rags was the thing. Are they orphans?

They do seem like it. I think they're four orphans. I don't like thinking about them much if I'm being honest. I never have liked to think about them much, but I want to be careful here because clearly they mean a lot to you. What is it about Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy that you love? I just had them since I was a child. I loved anything raggedy.

I just love raggedy things. Anything raggedy? A raggedy. I just love raggedy things. Anything raggedy? A raggedy. Sure, number one with a bullet. A shirt that just lasted too long on your body. Should have been thrown away. Oh boy, did you, this maybe sounds, this makes me ask a lot more questions.

Did you grow up here? Are you born and raised in Dignity Falls? I did get raised in Dignity Falls. You did get raised. I did get raised. Now even the way he says that makes it sound like this was an aggressive childhood. What was your...

He didn't make that connection. Well, if he only had a raggedy shirt to play with, what was your home life like? Oh, my daddy was very strict. Oh, okay. Always telling us that we don't deserve things. We were lucky to have anything. Just in general, you don't deserve things.

No, we don't deserve things. We don't deserve things. Cause he's, he came from the South. Oh, sure. So he had nothing. We were doing a little better, but he just wanted us to know to be grateful. He came from the South, so of course he came from nothing. Came from nothing.

Always the association. Always. So, and then what about your mom? Oh, my dear mom, she was a saint. She would sew my little raggedy dolls, sew my little raggedy shirts, because I never like to throw out, look, I just like little things that are broken and I don't like to throw them out. Is that why you became a lawyer, do you think?

Exactly. I wanted to help poor people with bad teeth situations. Oh, that's right. Can I ask you this? Sure. Duke, you say... Yes, it is Duke. Duke. Duke I ask you this? Sure. Duke, you say... Yes, it is Duke.

Duke. Duke. Thank you for that. Duke. Trying to throw in the liquid you. Duke. Duke. Liquid you for sure.

You said, because it is a red Chevy pickup, I couldn't help wondering if he was the one who let a dog put my backyard. This was the next conversation I wanted to have. What is the correlation between Chevy, red? Red Chevy pickups. Yes. Well, okay. Thank you.

These are all very great questions. Thank you. Thank you. So, as I said, I went into... It's nice to hear somebody else say it first. Isn't it though? What a treat. Oh, you're wonderful.

We're all wonderful. Thank you, Duke. We're all wonderful. I went into my backyard just to have a relaxing time. It's where I like to do my yoga and stretch. Sure. Okay. And I've discovered there do my yoga and stretch. Oh, okay. And I've discovered there was dog poop back there. In the backyard?

In the backyard. Whoa. Yes, and I'm saying, that's what I said. How did someone get back there? That's what I wanted to know. So I asked my neighbor. Well, the fence is not in good condition. Not in good condition.

Oh, okay, I forgot about that fence. You know what happened to my fence? You like broken things. What did happen? That's right, that's my, you can only, I hear him, that's my husband, Doug. He forgot about that. You know what happened to my fans? You like broken things. What did happen? That's right. That's my, you can only hear him. That's my husband, Doug. He's in another room. Oh, what did he say? He said you like broken things.

He was recalling that you said that. I do like broken things, but I did break my fence. No, I did. I fell into my fence once. Oh, you fell into it. How'd that happen? I was dancing in my front yard. Oh, sure. I was dancing to some Commodore's music.

Oh, sure. Brick house? Lady. Oh. Lady. Sure. Bricks. Oh, I'm down.

How can you not move? Anyway, I misstepped and I fell into my fence and it just all went down like dominoes. Oh dear. I never. Like dominoes. So that's how your fence is built. Well, if it's side to side,

that's not a very good fence because then all sorts of things can slip. I would say also for the way you're describing it So that's how your fences build. Well, if it's, if it's side to side, that's not a very good fence. Cause then all sorts of things can also for the way you're describing it, it's not a fence anymore. It's not a fence. It's a bad fan. My ex boyfriend put it up. Okay. He was doing, but you know, he lied about a lot of things. And who was your ex boyfriend? Oh, do you know Harvey? Well, I need a little bit more information. Harvey Billings, Harvey Bill Well, I think I need a little bit more information. Harvey Billings. Harvey Billings.

That name is familiar. Harvey Billings. He's always causing trouble in town. Did he have eczema of the ears? Yes. Yes, I remember this guy. And he's got- He only had it on his ears.

He sells matchboxes. We have one. We have one in our home. That's how I know the name. I have, our house was just filled with matchboxes. And you know what? He got upset with me many times because I couldn't help him with his ear problem because I said I'm a tooth lawyer.

Oh, he wanted to go to court. Oh, oh, he's, oh, sue this person. Well, who did he want to sue for his eczema? Generally that's genetically, did he want to sue a family member? He could sue some doctors that he had. It just took too long to solve the problem. Okay. Did you see a lot of those cases,

burnt people coming in with eczema of the ears in the pharmacy? What do you recommend? There was a real outbreak of it for a while where people, it was localized, just the ears. That is terrible. And it turns out they were all related. Oh, see, this is what I'm saying.

Well, my ex-person did- Your ex-person. My ex-person. Has he passed on? Well, I hope so. I haven't spoken to him in my mind and in my heart. He has. I hear that. He had large ears. So that must have been especially terrible. Dumbo ears. Oh dear. Oh, I wish he'd fly away. Oh boy. Oh boy. That's okay. He promised me he knew how to do a fence. He knew how to do a fence. I would have said that the very first red flag

would have been that he said, do a fence. You know what, I don't know what I, I just listen, I'm very gullible. Does he wubber his eyes? Does he have good eyes? That's terrible to hear. Oh yeah, beautiful. And he was broken, I imagine.

Very broken. His soul was broken and his leg, he was breaking his leg like every few months. Oh, that's almost impossible. Every few months. He would break his leg, something would happen. I'm like, oh, gotta go to the hospital again? Wow.

This guy sounded like he had real problems. Oh, he had so many problems. Didn't work out. Okay. Anyway, the dog- So yeah, we're still back to the Chevy and the dog poop. So I was like, where did this dog poop come from? So my neighbor, do you know, you know Lard,

you know Lard, you know, you know, large, you know, large, you know, large, large. He works, he works at Hardee's Jr. He's basically always employee of the month. He does the drive through and his voice is crystal clear. He's the one. He doesn't use the microphone. You can hear him around. No, large, large. He just yells, he clear, he's the one. He doesn't use the microphone. You can hear him around the corner. No, Lars, Lars yelled out the word. He just yelled.

He goes, what's your order? That's our fight. What would you like today? That's very good. Yeah, that's very him. I've been trying to get him. I've been trying to get him for our shows at the Diddy Falls Playhouse because I think he could do, he could do Carousel.

Absolutely. Yes, he absolutely says he's got, he's literally just absolutely frightened. Stage fright like crazy. Cheeseburger, what else? He takes his job so seriously. But I'm not sure if he's going to be able to do it. He's going to be able to do it. He's going to be able to do it.

He's going to be able to do it. He's going to be able to do it. He's going to be able to do it. He's going to be able to do it. He's going to be able to do it. He could do, yes, he absolutely says he's literally just absolutely frightened, stage fright like crazy. Cheeseburger what else? He takes his job so seriously. He really does. And also cheeseburger what else is one of the orders that you have, you can order the cheeseburger what else. They basically throw in whatever they want. Cheeseburger what else?

And you know, he dresses. Sometimes it's not food. Sometimes it's not food at all. He dresses differently than the other Tom Hardy outfits. He dresses like him in The Revenant. Yeah. That's how he is. That's right.

He's very easy to spot. He's wonderful. Anyway, he's my next door neighbor. Oh, okay. Fantastic. He's always sticking his head out. The Bane guy is so mad he doesn't get to do the drive-through. Oh, yes. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Anyway, he's always sticking his head out the window, noticing this, noticing that. And so I went up and hit large. I have some dog poop in my backyard. And he said, well, I've been meaning to tell you this red pickup truck come by, took a dog in the backyard. Oh, so you had him witness. He was an eyewitness. He was an eyewitness.

Oh, okay. Did he say Chevy? Did he say that? He said Chevy. Okay, okay. So I've been waiting for red Chevy to come up and do it again. Okay. And then he pulled up and he had the dog and so I think, you're going to run this dog in

my yard? I see. Yes, you said it all, all neat like that. He must have been floored that somebody guessed what he was going to do. Do you know who was floored though? Me. Oh. When I saw how handsome he was.

You weren't ready for that. Nah. You were not ready for that. Through me. His face looked like a young Paul Newman. His body looked like a young Burt Lancaster. And he had the grace of of dancing James Cagney. He danced? He danced in that?

No, he had the grace. Oh, the grace. Oh, he hasn't danced. How do you demonstrate that? What was graceful about him? He got out of that truck and it was the way he stepped down. Oh, okay. You ever see James Cagney dance down those steps? Did he have steps? Well. Like, Yankee Doodle Dandy.

Did he have steps? Sure. Yeah, he had. He had these. He had these steps. Like a bus. How high was the truck? Very high.

Very high, apparently. Do you have those gigantic tires? Huge tires. Oh, I hate those. Like, really. His truck made an announcement. Oh, sure did. So the stairs come down.

He just walked down, but he walked down just like James Kelly. I get it. I get it. I'm more of a Gene Kelly gal, but I get it. Who wouldn't be Gene Kelly? No, absolutely. Well, maybe. Yeah, sure. And so that was it. And then all of a sudden those eyes. You had that little Paul Newman head and then the big broad shoulders. Can you read the description again? The body of Paul Newman, a young Paul Newman. The head of Paul Newman. Oh, I thought it was the body of Paul Newman. The body of Bert Lancaster.

Really? Okay, got it, got it, got it. I'm much familiar with the young body of Bert Lancaster. He was a strapping young man. I get it, I get it. Oh, that's right, I guess, if I'm thinking about it. I think he was an acrobat. Wasn't he when he was younger? Sure, why not?

That sounds right. Bert Lancaster. He was an acrobat to me. If you want to see him on full display, you can watch a movie called The Swimmer. Oh, yes. Where he's in a... On full display, okay.

He's in bathing trunks for the entire fairytale. Strange movie. Very strange movie. Well, I kind of do want to see him on full display. Based on a book. Based on a book. Really? Yes.

You know what I'd like to... It's based on a book. John Cheever. I want to yell, come back a little Cheever to him. Oh, I get it. That's a Burt Lancaster reference, but I haven't seen it. He's not good in that. Burt Lancaster was the most overrated.

Do you remember him in... Oh dear. I only remember him in Field of Dreams. That's the only thing... Yes. I made one film. Not even Elmer Gantry. He says, I better get home before Felicia thinks I made one billion. Not even Elmer Gantry.

He says, I better get home before Felicia thinks I have a girlfriend. That's it. That's a really good Burt Lancaster. You don't remember, does he say it or does Tony Curtis say it in, what's that movie? Trapeze? No, he's a, Burt Lancaster is a Walter Winchell type guy.

Oh sweet, success, yes. This is not a movie podcast. This is not a movie podcast. This is not a movie podcast, but somebody does have the line, you're a cookie full of arsenic and I'd hate to take a bite out of you. Oh. That's a good line.

You know what I don't like about, what wrenched me out about? I'm going to say it. I'm going to say it to Wren's pick up show. It's one of those lines that kind of sounds cool at first, then you're like, was that good? What wrenched me out about that? It goes ooh, and then you go, huh?

Yeah. Ooh, huh? Because it said with such confidence. It said with such confidence? Like, what's the scenario? Someone's offering me a cookie full of arsenic? I would hate to take a bite out of that. Yeah, you're right. Well, and I know this isn't a movie.

What's that, babe, what's that sound? What's happening? Oh, is he- Is that Bert Lancaster? Oh, OK, yes. If I can trust my eyes and I think I can, Susie knows all about your dirty work. That's bird line, Kat. Okay, yeah.

Can't hurt. By the way, he had big teeth. Can't hurt, I had to get that boy's job back. Look, JJ, we can tie this off in a one-knee bundle. So you're not a movie podcat? Not at all. No. We're doing great, but please do a pilot.

We occasionally show... Wait, is he waiting for the line. Is the big line coming? It's coming. He's full of juice and vinegar. Just wait. You see, is this from romancing this? You got the boy's job.

This one smells. But he's not going to. I know that smell. And yes, we do occasionally play full clips. We're not a movie podcast. Not to say it feels like I'm at the cemetery. I feel like you'm at the cemetery. OK, but this is hard because we can't even see a thing. I think we are and I don't think we're going to get to it.

I probably would have skipped ahead to 10 seconds before the end of the game. That's generally how it works. If that's how you discovered if you found the video by searching that line, I would bet you any amount of money. It's going to be 10 seconds before you end the video. Oh, we missed it! Oh, man, you missed it! He just said it.

But I was right, wasn't I? Was it the very last thing said? In the middle of your dog pile on. Oh, jeez. Oh, don't you mean dog pile? Dog pile. Listen. Wait.

I'm sorry, I think you're gonna. You're a match. This better be cute. You know, it's a new wrinkle. To tell you the truth. I never thought I'd make a killing on some guy's integrity Vampire to take a bite out of you. Oh, you're a cookie full of arsenic. Oh Well, that makes more sense different. That makes more sense Lord case the Lord case I thought maybe the Oracle had happened Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Could you read the description of the eyes again? Yes. He's a very handsome guy with crystal clear, bluish green eyes and he talked like a gentleman. It just almost makes me think of how the stone, romancing the stone, just glimmers in the light. It's very blue green.

Just like this man's eye. Do you like that movie? Romancing the stone? Yes. I love that movie. I could talk about it for years. We already talked about it so much. Oh, it's so good. Well, we already talked about it so much.

We're not a movie podcast. Oh, no, we're not. What are your top three favorite moments? Romancing the Stone? Yes. I love at the end when she sees the ship on Madison Avenue. Oh, that's just a yacht. There's a yacht driving down Madison Avenue like it's normal.

Is it parked or driving? It starts driving once the credits start rolling. I love it love the kiss on the back and it starts being driven. I love when Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas are dancing. She's wearing that skirt with her legs sticking out of it like all of a sudden they're both so gorgeous. So beautiful. Oh my goodness. And I love anything with Holland Taylor. Holland Taylor again, I forgot to mention Holland Taylor is in that movie. Has she ever been young? Has she ever been young?

Has she ever been young? She's like Angela Lansbury. She always gave that vibe off. Or Glenn Close. Were they ever young? Or Bob Seger. Okay, baby. Bob Seger.

Bob Seger, yep. We're Bob Seger. So now before we were talking about Burt Lancaster, we were talking about what this guy, what he looked like. And how? He talks like a champ. Yes, what did he say to you? Did we get his name? Sorry, did we get talking about what this guy, what he looked like. And he talks like a chimp. Yes, what did he say to you? Did we get his name? Sorry, did we get his name?

Oh yeah, did you get his name? I did get his name. Oh, what was it? It's Chris. Oh, Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris.

Isn't that enough? Creus? Creus. Creus. Creus? Creus? Yes, exactly. It's spelled C-H-R-U-I-S.

Cruz. Cruz. No, it's pronounced like a Prius. Cruz. Cruz. She said C-H-R-U-I-S. Cruz. C-H-R, pronounced Cruz.

I don't know where he's from. Or where that name comes from. But he said, he came out of the truck, stepping down like James. Yep, he walked down the stairs. Took off his hat and said. What kind of hat was he wearing? A cowboy. He came out of the truck, stepping down like James, took off his hat and said, what kind of hat was you wearing? Cowboy.

Oh, okay. Of course. He said, he said, hi, my name is Chris. And he said it's spelled C-H-R-U-I-S, just so there's no problems. So there's no problems. So lovely to meet you. He said, lovely.

I was like melting. Yeah, I bet. Very gentlemanly. I know. And I said, are you gonna have your dog run? Right. That line. Yeah, that line.

And he said, yeah. And then I said, well, I don't wanna be mean, but you can't do this here. Cause everyone's happy when things are going well. That's what she said. But when they don't go well, that's when people get sad. And so has that happened to you a lot in life

that things have just not gone well? Because it sounds like you said it almost as a mantra of your life. Things are constantly not going well. You said the direct quote was, when nothing happens, everybody is happy. Everybody's happy. That's me.

That kind of makes sense, given your upbringing. That sounds like something your dad would say. Absolutely. It's, I actually have a pillow in my living room. Oh, me too. Oh, there's no. Mine says this. It's always best when nothing happens.

Oh. It's always best when nothing. It's kind of sad. Can we talk a little bit more about your dad? Why do you like that, Doug? It reminds me of no news is good news. Oh, sure. Fair enough.

But when something happens, that's bad. Because it could be bad. It could be bad and it often is. But is that, how long, when did you first sort of adopt that view of life? Oh, you said it was from my father. I was correct, okay. My father was interesting

because he was so tough, so cruel. And why was that interesting? Well, I haven't gotten to the interesting part because I have an objection. Joke sustained. I'll watch myself counselor. What was interesting about it is that I have four brothers and sisters. You do. I was just about to ask about yourself.

And what are their names? Well, that's it. My father named us all nicknames of famous actors. I'm named after John Wayne. Okay. My brother was named Coop after Gary Cooper. My sister's name is Betty, named after Lauren Bacall. Oh, sure, that's right, Betty Bacall, that's right.

My other brother's named Archibald, named after Gary Grant. Oh, sure. That's right. That's right. My other brother's name Archibald named after Carrie Grant. Oh, yes. And my youngest sister's just called Red Shoes. After Judy Garland. Judy Garland. Red Shoes. Her name is Red Shoes.

Her legal name is Red Shoes. Red Shoes. He could have just called her Jude, but he called her Jude. I guess. Or Frances Gumb. Yeah, Frances Gumb. That's her initial name. He called her Red Shoes. Okay, got her Red Shoes. I guess, I guess. Or Frances Gumb. Yeah, Frances Gumb. That's her initial name.

He called her Red Shoes. Okay, he called her Red Shoes. Frankie. Frankie would have been a nice name for a little girl. That would have been okay. Frankie. No, Red Shoes. Red Shoes.

What does Red Shoes do? Oh, Red Shoes is in Congress. Really? My sister is a Congresswoman. We've talked to a lot of people related to Congress members. We really recently had another person with a congresswoman. Well, I'm very proud of my sister. You should be.

I'm glad she's kind of done so well for herself. She has. Okay. And how about the others? Do she still go by red shoes? Yes. You haven't heard congresswoman red shoes? I guess I'm just not civically minded enough. I have to say I haven't.

I haven't either. You should look at her up. She's from Delaware. So she's not called, I thought her first name was Red and then she's, so it's not Congressman Shoes, it's Congressman Red Shoes. Her name is Red Shoes is her first name, but in our last name.

Oh, what is your last name? Herenities. Oh! My name is Duke Herenities. Herenities! And my sister's name is Duke Heredities. Heredities? Yes. And my sister's name is Congresswoman Red Shoes Heredities. But people just call her Congresswoman Red Shoes. Sure. Why wouldn't they?

That makes sense. And she's still running on the Wizard of Oz campaign. Click your heels three times and I'll do whatever you need. Oh boy. That's such an open promise. Yeah. Wow. That's how an open promise. Yeah, wow. That's how you get elected. It's true.

It really is true. And then everyone else is doing okay. Are they, is everyone else literally doing okay? How's the gang? How's Coop? Coop is a private detective. That checks out. Coop?

You have a fascinating family. You really do. Everybody's interested. You really do. And you want to know who Betty is? Yeah. Yeah. Betty is a detective.

She's a crime solver. What? So she's a public detective. She's a little different. She's a detective and a crime solver. She's a detective and a crime solver. But does she work for the police? Is that what that means?

That's what that means. Okay, yes. Oh, okay, okay. I'm sorry. That's what it means. What's an easier word for a crime solver. I'm used to being in court where I have to use larger words. Oh, sure. The legal terms. I can't just say, are you a police officer?

I'll say, are you, I heard you were a detective and you were involved in crime solving. Okay. And just for the listeners, he's really gesturing in a very lovely, almost balletic way towards me. You have beautiful arms. It feels like it's this thing he does in court to sort of lull you into whatever. It was almost hypnotic, to be honest. I'm about to admit to murder.

And this is how I ask Kreis the question. I mean, it's also just, it's also a sweeping motion of the two fingers. So there's also something about it that's a bit off-putting. Thank you. It's all of it. It's comforting. It's a little clinical. It's a little clinical. It's very gynecologist. I was gonna say, I have to make my appointment.

It's really true. Oh, thanks for the reminder. Which sibling have we not talked about yet? Well, we had Coop, we had Betty, we had Red Shoes. Archibald. That's it. Archibald. He is a gynecologist. That's where I go. Oh, okay. Oh, that's what reminded you.

That's what reminded me. That's why he taught me that gesture. Of course he did. It works in the courtroom all the time. Oh, boy. People just follow it like it's a magic two fingers. Just like it's a magic two fingers. Just like it's a magic two fingers.

So now this kind of sounds like you had, now this makes me think you were surrounded by sort of very interesting siblings. So while I was thinking it was dark in your household, did you just all band together and sort of make things happen for yourselves? We just had terrific fantasy lives. We put on shows for my mother. My father had no interest in the shows, even though he was so strange that he wanted to name us after nicknames of calamity. It is really weird. It almost seems as if maybe there was a secret that he

had or something. Maybe he just liked the movies. He didn't like the live performance. Impossible. I understand that. as if maybe there was a secret that he had or something. Maybe he just liked the movies, he didn't like the live performance. Impossible. I understand that. Some people don't like the theater. No. Well, I don't understand them. No.

Oh, I love theater. I haven't seen a movie in decades. Really? What's the last movie you saw? Do you remember? Romancing the Stone? No, Mannequin. Oh.

Ah. Mannequin. Oh, Mannequin. Mannequin. Oh, Mannequin. You know what happened? That movie is so clever. Do you know what it's about? Yes, I'm familiar.

It's about a mannequin that comes to life. Who thought of that? And it's this white woman from ancient Egypt. Oh, it's so clever. Isn't that clever? That's right. It's very clever. No, I wouldn't have come up with that. You would not expect a white woman from ancient Egypt.

You would not expect that. After that movie, I was like, it can't get better than this. It does not talk to you. It can't get better than this. Yeah. Yeah. So, Andrew McCarthy, his acting, he just smirked and popped his eyes open to show emotion. Do you know what I mean? He just smirked like that. Oh, oh.

Like that. He's really doing crazy things with his eyes right now. What's his name from? But I actually know exactly what you're talking about. Do you know what I'm talking about? I do. Like when he'd show that. Yep, I do.

And then he made a documentary. Everybody can see this. And then he made a documentary. I can't think of the guy's name who was on Designing Wind, played Hollywood. Oh, Meshach Taylor. Meshach Taylor. Meshach Taylor, okay. Hollywood was his character's name who was on Designing Wind, played Hollywood. Meshach Taylor! Meshach Taylor! Hollywood was his character's name. And did Andrew McCarthy have a friend in that movie?

Or no? He was just by himself with the secret of the... Oh wow, I don't remember much. All I remember was... I don't remember either. I just remember Starship. We had Sex and a Hammock, that's all I remember. Sex and a Hammock?

Yeah, because they were in a hammock and then she lifted her leg, she goes, oh, Jonathan, and I was like, I'm gonna get this. Ew. And there was a, It always grows to me out. Wasn't there a song from Starship? Yes, we'll build the stream together. Yeah, nothing's gonna stop us now.

Nothing's gonna stop us now. Nothing's gonna stop us now. It's a good one, it's a really good one. That's right, that's not a great way to live. And the video Grace Slick pretends to be a mannequin. Oh, that's fun. Isn't that fun? It is so fun.

Fun, she went from the white- Who's more fun than Grace Slick? She went from white rabbit, That's fun. Isn't that fun? It is so fun. Who's more fun than Grace Slick? She went from White Rabbit to We Built This City on rock and roll. Now this is a musical podcast. Jefferson Airplane, they kept doing permutations so they ran out of words.

Jefferson Starship. Then just Starship. Then just Ship. Then Ship. Then Shhh. We're on the same page. We're on the same page. I have their last album of shh,

and it's a librarian with a finger in front of her mouth telling you to be quiet. It sounds like they knew this was gonna be our last album. We'll do the librarian now. They're out of words, they're out of words. It literally said shh, librarian finger, and the title of the album is, It's Time to Go. Oh, that makes sense.

Okay, can I go back to this chess set? Of course. Okay. Absolutely. Was this something that's very rare? Was this like a limited edition situation? Yes, as far as I know. It can't have been mass produced. Because I've never heard of this before.

My mother, my mother sewed each Raggedy Anne. No, no. One was one she bought. This was homemade. She bought a Raggedy Anne doll and a Raggedy Ann doll. She bought a Raggedy Ann doll and a Raggedy Andy doll and then she made duplicates. She just made copies for a chess set. And what was your mother's name? My mother's name? Yeah. Carol. Okay. That's lovely. Yeah, with an E at the end. Okay, sweet. And is it okay to ask, are your parents with us?

No, they're gone. They went away. They're alive though. No, they're dead. Okay, sorry, I wasn't sure. I'm sorry. I hadn't heard that term before. Yeah, it means they either went away. And was that sad for you or did you sort of feel freed once your dad passed away? Maybe it sounds like he was starting to personally... A little bit of both. I feel like I have a lot of unanswered questions. Oh, what's one of them? Why did you name us nicknames? Sure, that's a good one. Why didn't you hug me more?

Oh, great question. You know, Bernie had a very similar childhood. He shook hands with his father. My father was very formal, yes. We never hugged. You shook hands? Yes. Every time we saw each other, we shook hands.

My father just, you know when someone pushes out their hands about as far as they can go? I guess. Like against your chest? Like you're walking just to keep an arms distance? Absolutely. That's how he greeted us. Wow. It's like a push. So he didn't show favoritism. Oh not at all. He treated you all the same. No, arms distance. Right. Oh I'm so sorry about that. Was your mother affectionate? Oh, very. My mother was the same. Yeah, you can tell.

She would hug you from the second you got up to the second you went to bed. Oh my. When you come home, you'd be in her arms. That apron would be wrapped around you. That's very sweet. It's a little smothering. Let me ask you. Maybe that's one way to look at it.

Yeah. How did they end up together? Oh, that is a great question. Thank you. It was an arranged marriage. Oh. Yes. Both of their families, my mother came from money and my dad, as I said, did not.

It was in the South. So he didn't have to. Yes, that's right. So we know how that feels. Obviously. When you're from the South, you have nothing. That's it. That's it.

You mean South Dignity Falls, right? Yes, South Dignity Falls mean South Dignity Falls, right? Yes, South Dignity Falls. South Dignity Falls. My mother came from money in Dignity Falls, and it was arranged because my grandfather. Take your time. Sorry, it's fair. My grandfather saved my grandfather's on my mother's side.

My grandfather on the nothing side saved my grandfather on the something side. This feels like we're choosing who's going to be it. Yes. Anyway, so my grandfather's. Yes, yes. Or just trying to play an incredibly hard board game. He saved his life. Anyway, so my grandfather's yes. Yes, or just but this is what happened. He saved his life.

A streetcar was coming towards. Oh, no. My grandfather, my nothing grandfather. Yeah, push him out of the way and got hit by the streetcar and survived. But yeah, good. And my something grandfather just said, you saved my life, anything you ever want. He's like, well, I'd like to have some money. And he said, well, it seems like you have nothing. And he said, no, I don't have, I have nothing. He said, my daughter needs a mariner age

and no one wants to mariner her. So you- Mariner her, what did that mean back then? That's just was how we said it. It's old timey time. Mariner her. Okay wants to Marin her. So you Marin her. What did that mean back? Is this, that's just what's how we say it. It's old time. Marin her. Marin and her. Why are the words weren't finished yet? They weren't done yet. They were called cooking. Words were still cooking for a while. I was going to say marinating. Summer still. I feel like you might, like 50 years from now, they might say words when we say, go, that word's not finished yet. I wouldn't be surprised.

It could be. It's interesting that humans, that language moves on. It sure is. Changes. Anyway, so he says, my daughter's the marriage time. It's time for her to marry. No one's asking. He said, well, I have a son.

He said, well, you know what, let's arrange this. And so then they had it. And they did that because they just really wanted to make sure they would each have somebody because they were just worried that no one was going to marry them. Well, because the something grandfather owed his life to the nothing man. Yeah. And he needed money. So my daughter had money. Couldn't refuse it.

Just worried. It was a different time. It sure was. But it worked out. I mean, they seemed to get along in their way. Okay. Not a lot of conversation, a lot of grunts. They grunted at each other. Five children. That is a lot.

They at least fuck five times. Is that your point? Was that what your point is? I not, I wouldn't boil it down to just that. Can I say they didn't talk much, but they fucked all the time. Doug doesn't like it when I swear. We've already had some choice four letter words on the podcast. I'm so sorry. And here I was praising someone from their gentleman talking and I talk like sewer.

And let's get back to Kreus. Kreus. Because do we think that there's a future here? Because at first you were kind of, I know that you were trying to sort of make sure he wasn't going to be on your property. You don't want poop in your lawnmower. I never heard of that really being a thing, but I guess it must be annoying to get it out. I suppose. Okay. Got it. Yeah. Because you leave us with that you weren't mad at him. And, uh, he was a gentleman.

He was a gentleman. You say, I know this gentleman is a decent person. I know. Only wanting to run his dog a little. Yeah, and was the dog nice? What kind of dog was it? The dog was so sweet. Uh-huh, okay. It was just a mixture of muttness. It seemed like it had German Shepherd, Doberman, a lot of different stuff in it.

Maybe a terrier or two. Why not? It's so cute, very friendly. Waggy, waggy, waggy. Was that his name? That's the name, waggy, waggy, waggy. Oh, that's cute. Why name him twice when you can name him thrice?

That's another pillow I have. That's another pillow. Why name him thrice when you can name him thrice? One of my children is named Nope Nope, so listen, I hear you there. I hear you there. That makes sense. If I had a child, I would be naming them Nope, Don't, Stop.

Oh, so you don't want, what has your experience been with partners or you don't want a family? Have you had a lot of romantic partners? Your last boyfriend was terrible. Did not end well. Didn't start well. Didn't have medium well.

I don't want to have children. Okay. I just want to you know what I'd love the situation I would love my fantasy world would be something like with Chris and a waggy waggy waggy like a dog. I'd love to have dogs. Did you exchange like with Chris and Waggy Waggy Waggy. Like a dog. I'd love to have dogs. Did you exchange information with Chris? Well, this is what I said to him.

I said, you know, I didn't want to be mean and I wanted to be so nice. I said, why don't you give me a week to think about this? Come back in a week and bring Waggy Waggy Waggy. I'll make some lemonade and I'll make some wonderful lemonade. Oh, I don't doubt it. Oh, wonderful. Just a little bit of raspberry.

Doug loves lemonade. Don't you love it? Doug loves lemonade. With some raspberry in it. Ooh, I love that. Now, Burnt will only have just straight squeezed lemon. A virgin lemonade. It's called a virgin lemonade.

No, pure lemonade. I'm sure you'll love it. You and my father, both of you, had pure lemonade. Oh no, that is not a surprise. Just pure lemonade. My dad used to say- Excuse me, one second.

Oh sure. Oh no, I've done something wrong. Oh dear. His father, clearly was a monster. Then you said, oh, I'm not surprised. He's like- I thought, oh, I thought you said, oh, for whatever reason, I thought that it was you

that was saying your father would love, I thought, okay. No, Duke was saying his father, the monster, also loved virgin lemonade. Oh, right, okay. And so when you said, oh, I'm not surprised, that made me feel a little. Okay, I'm sorry about that. I was monstrous.

Oh, you were not monstrous at all. I think that maybe you were raised by a monstrous man because he only shook hands with you. That's what I don't like. I mean, it's better than, you know, just give me a stiff arm. It's definitely better than that. I'm so sorry, I was just talking about some Commodores in my head.

I want to know then, can I ask you, is it, then what is your purpose in making this post? What was your aim? Why did you do this? I'm just wondering because how does it end? What's the last sentence? I am a licensed attorney registered to practice law here. Wait a minute. Let's go to the top. What's the first sentence? The first sentence is, he describes what happened

this afternoon about 4.45 PM. This is the most we've ever had to refer back to the text. This makes me think that, did you post this immediately after? Cause you were hoping to see if Kreis was reading it? Because now I'm thinking that's what this was all about. Because you're making it clear you don't blame Kreis for anything. I'm telling you, the blood was just so hot underneath my skin.

Oh my goodness. After this conversation with Kreis. It was going all over, right Doug? It was kind of slushing all over as it likes to. The blood was going, oh, we got to go over here now. Yeah, it was just moving. It's moving. I guess I'm in my age. Great. Now I got to move over. But real hot blood. Hot blooded. Check it and see. Absolutely. Farner. Farner. Do you think that guy ever got Lou Graham ever got off stage and went,

oh my head. Because the way he sang, it always hurt me to listen to. Maybe we should ask him. He sang like he was, like the songs were written for someone else and he was doing, he was at the absolute top of his rift. You know what I'm waiting for? Cold as ice. He's like, could we take this down a little? They said no can do. We've already done the arrangements. I'm waiting for a Broadway musical that's all done to the songs of Foreigner. Wow. Can you imagine? Juice Box Zero.

Juice Box Zero is a Juice Box musical. Absolutely. Absolutely in the realm of possibility. I think so too. It seems like I'm putting that out there. I'd go see it. If there was a Jimmy Buffett musical, there can be a foreigner musical. That's true. Have you heard the live version of Hot-Blooded?

The live version? No. There's a line at the end, this is real. This is supposed to be some of the other things we've said. This is a segment called Doug's Truth. Yeah, this is a segment called Doug's Truth. We haven't done this in a while. Long time. Yeah. It's one he's kind of riffing.

You know, he's got these like one-liners and he goes, I'll make you famous, put a star on your anus. No. And it's in the live version of Hot Blooded. I'll make you famous, I'll put a star on your anus. I can't process this. Me neither. I don't know what to do with that information.

I'll make you famous. We've rendered Brun speechless. I'll put a star on your anus. Meaning? It doesn't work as a double entendre. It definitely doesn't. It rhymes though. Sure does.

Sometimes that's all that matters. It's not a great rhyme. No, I didn't say that, but it does scan. It does scan. But he was improvising, right? He was just kind of scatting. No, he did it over and over again. Yeah, he in multiple.

He was happy with that rhyme. He was happy with it. He was an out-tour for the live audience. What did he mean? He was gonna make someone famous. Little treat. I'll put a star on your anus. Well, I think he's gonna make them famous

and then he will do that. Oh. I don't think that's the means by which the person will come back. That's what I was thinking. Okay, so hi. But it's open to interpretation, I guess. I'm gonna give you a career. Yeah. I don't think that's the means by which the person is coming. That's what I was thinking. Okay, so hi. But it's open to interpretation, I guess.

Thank you. I'm going to give you a career. Yeah. And then as an added plus, I will put a star. Instead of on the Walk of Fame, it's going to be... I thought it was like, you know when a teacher puts a gold star on you? I was picturing a gold star at one moment as well. That would fit more on your anus, I would think. Like a gold star.

But it wouldn't stay on long. This has really been quite the punch. It's off. There you go. There you go, Duke. That's absolutely true. Duke, I honestly, I think we have to, we could talk to you forever.

We should wrap it up, but I really hope that, have you heard anything from Krillin? What's the latest from Krillin? I'm just waiting to hear if he's gonna show. You haven't heard anything. I said, you take a week to think Kreis? I'm just waiting to hear if he's gonna show. You haven't heard anything. I said, you take a week to think about it. I know, but so how long ago was this? This was five, I posted this like five days ago.

Okay, so we're almost to the end of the week. Oh dear. So it's like, if he shows up with Waggie, Waggie, Waggie and he comes, then I know something's going on. I feel like he's going to. Maybe he knows how to put up a fence. Maybe he does. Okay.

Maybe he does. I think all you gotta do is turn the fence like the other way. Yes, because clearly the guy who made it into Domino's, there were just slats turned the wrong way and anyone could, any critter, anyone could have gotten through. That was a penetrable fence.

He was a terrible boy. Now I'm trying to picture this, is it? I'm picturing sections of fence turned 90 degrees. I'm picturing just all the slats lined up like dominoes. That's more it. Right, but down, laying down now. Oh, well now laying down, yes, absolutely. I need a-

Like a bunch of popsicle sticks. Look, I need a fence. They weren't connected to each other, they were just in a line. That's right. I need a strong fence that when I dance in my front yard and accidentally trip and fall into it, it stays up for me. Well, Kreia sounds like he's strong enough and graceful enough to dance with you and

to build you the fence. I hope he dances like James Cagney or Gene Kelly or even Fred Astaire. Or Joseph Gordon-Levitt in 500 Days of Summer. I'll take that too. Did he dance in that film? Yes, he did. There was a fantasy. There's a sequence where he. And he did all of make them make them laugh and learn how to flip upside down

off the wall during SNL. He dances. He dances to the Hall and Oates song. This is so vaguely familiar to me. The Hall and Oates song in 500 Days of Summer. You make my dreams come true? That's it. He's so happy. I think that this might be a record for the number of movies

discussed. It's perfect for our season finale. It really is. And what? And songs? That's true. And songs, which we've now added. Well, I'm honored to be here for it all.

This has been delightful. Oh, dude, you are just delightful. Couldn't have happened without you, dude. Right back at you. I'm going to follow Congresswoman Moonman, Red Shoes. Absolutelyes much closer now. Are you in the market for a new gynecologist? I don't know that I want to go to Archibald.

And if there's any sort of a crime, Betty will help you. That's right. We know that. And I really, really hope that Creus reaches out to you in some way or just shows up on your doorstep. Before we let you go, would you like to send, would you like send out a message to Chris? Oh God, awesome. I feel so shy.

Pretend you're looking into those beautiful romance in the stone eyes. Nope. Chris, if you choose to show up, and I hope you do, just know, not only will I have my raspberry lemonade ready for you, but I'll have a star right on my anus.

That's beautiful. I'm sure you're going to hear from him very soon. I think so too. All right, Duke, thank you so much. Oh, my pleasure. We'll be back with The Neighborhood Listen when The Neighborhood Listen returns. Hi, it's Paul and I want to tell you about Huel. What's Huel?

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Wow, well that was something else. Dude, what a fascinating person. I forgot my headphones burnt. Okay. I, I. Okay. Okay. Okay. burnt. Okay. I mean, you could have just put them on. You didn't need to really. You could hear him talking though, right?

Yeah, we're sitting right next to each other. Sorry, I ran down to see the Oracle cave because I wanted to see what it looked like. What does it look like? It is a lot bigger and he's right. It is not about the cave. It's not about the cave. I really didn't feel it's all about the Oracle pool.

He did a nice job. Baby did a nice job. That's nice. I want to let you, I want to let you know that. And I'm sure beautiful is going to love it. I appreciate that. Okay. Yeah. Beautiful is going to love it.

She's going to love it. She's going to love it. I made a mistake of looking at my face in the reflection pool though. Oh no. And it totally disorientated me. It disorientated you? As the British would say.

Do they say, is that what they say? Yes. The British say that. They do. Okay. And what- That allows my sense of place and time. Why just seeing yourself reflected in water?

Seeing myself in that oracle water. But did you see something that you maybe should not have seen? Was there some mystical? Oh, hideous. What was it? Oh my God. Well, I put some oil in the water, so it gives it a kind of reflective, iridescent kind of thing.

I think water does that all on its own. I mean, it's reflective. It famously is. Yeah, but you know that look when the oil, the oil's in the water. There's like a number of stories about that. Yeah, there's a dog with a bone. He literally sees another dog with a bone.

Yeah, exactly. This is Oracle water. That dumb dog. Oracle water, I know. Well, maybe you should drop some Dawn in there so you don't have any of these more disassociative states. All right.

Well, we have a final post here and I just, sometimes people post the craziest things, but I hear- Joe, isn't that the truth? It really is. That should be the tagline of the show. Yeah. Sometimes people post the craziest things. I'm just going to show it to you really quickly. Cause to be honest, I'm now realizing that,

I'm now realizing that if you look at it too long, then actually know what happens. Oh, the abyss gazing back. That's right. Well, no, it actually is, you just find out what it is and it's not so mysterious. Oh, okay. Because you did say you had no idea what was going on.

I didn't. Okay. I don't know if it's just because my contacts are tired. It could be because my contacts are tired. Contacts are tired. And sometimes I just can't focus, but let me see if you, if I just show this to you for as quickly as I looked at it.

Okay. She just says, Marilyn, Marilyn just says, anyone know what these are? Okay. What'd you see? I saw a clump of something. Yes. That could have been some kind of insect. Could have been a ton of bats. could have been part of a sweater.

Thank you. This is validating. Wait, I'm coming in. I'm coming in. Doug wants to see it. I'm going to show you for the exact amount of nanoseconds. Do I look normal? Billy will snatch. Yes, you do. You look fine, babe. You're fine. Whatever you saw on the oil, don't pay attention to it, okay? Your pupils are fine. Your pupils what? Your pupils what?

What did he say? I don't know what word he said. Nope-in? Are my pupils nope-in? Hey, word about this, guys. Pupils are nope-in. Oh my gosh. That's a sign that nope NopeNope would hide. I would put it on his

door. Let me see this thing. All right. What are these? That's it. That's all you get. See that got a brrr from him. All right. But you have, so now having looked at it further. It's so clear. So now just take a minute. Does now take longer. Take a longer. Now you see it, right? I'm taking a longer.

And yes, and I see these, their delightful little. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let Doug see it. Let Doug see it. All right. Let Doug see it. First, before I open my eyes. Open your eyes. Open, wait, wait. No, no, no, no, no. Let Doug see it. Let Doug see it. All right, all right. Let Doug see it. First, before I open my eyes.

Open your eyes. Open, don't open. Is this some sort of like collection of acorns or something? Or I had a pine cone. Yes, it's not. And you know what? For the listener, let's not say what it is. Oh yeah, let's not say what it is.

Because we will post it. Okay, that's fun. And you gotta promise, it's gonna be the last in the slideshow. That's a good idea. And you have to look at it just for one second. One second. You have to try one second and look away. And then you have to look at it for a longer. You have to look

at it for a longer. Let me take a longer. Take a longer. But don't say anything, babe. What the? Oh, see? This is the dictionary definition of a what the oh. Oh, there has to be a word for that. It really does. There really has to be a word for this. It's a what the O. Because it was so shocking to me at first. It looks horrifying. It looks horrifying.

It looks like a terrifying movie. It's awful. 1000% right. And then it ends up being the most unthreatening. Innocuous, yes. I was going to say innocuous, and then I don't know why I said unthreatening. That wasn't a smart. That wasn'treatening. That wasn't a smart.

That wasn't a smart. That wasn't a smart. But now what I'm thinking is Marilyn here has had a lot longer. She sure has had a lot of longer. She was the one who took the picture. She still doesn't know what these are. Which means she stared at it for a while trying to figure it out. Right?

So something's up with Marilyn. And the fact that he just says what these are, no more descriptive term than that. Cause you, you almost, because she says what these are, makes you think you're not, she hasn't told you what you're supposed to focus on the phone. Correct. That's so true. Cause I'm going to, I'm going to say, I focused on the bottom part of the picture, the bottom part of the stuff, which is more upsetting. Absolutely. It's a poorly composed photograph. It's a terrible photograph. It's terrifying. I'm going to say this, Marilyn, shame on you. Do better. Quit. You have to quit neighbor hub. Oh no. You always go too far. Delete your account.

You always go too far. You always go too far. I go as far as I think I need to go. And we've gone as far as we should go for season eight. That's right. So I am calling it that. I don't care what you think, Burns. That's fine. But, oh, you okay, babe? No, I'm just, that's sad.

Oh, why is it sad? Oh, it's the end. Yeah, I know. But just for a little bit. We want to thank all the listeners. You're all the best. Predicted this. Oh, wait, predicted what?

That the season would end? That the season would end. That the season would end. Oh, well that's a little bit good. Yeah, we had it scheduled. I mean, I've had it in my calendar for months. We would like to thank all of you for listening to this season. We had a really lovely time.

What a wonderful and diverse bunch of people that we talked to. Bunch of wacky people we met this time around. They were really wacky. But we're not totally gone because every month what can they listen to, Burns? They can listen to the bonus room episodes. See, here's the thing. Go to CBBworld.com, sign up on their Maximus tier and there you will get access to our bonus room episodes, which is sometimes us just talking about Dignity Falls amongst ourselves, the three of us. Sometimes we do Q&As with people, with the listeners. Sometimes we have some sort of pirate versions of our feed from other podcasts.

We don't know how this happens. We've gone on double dates. We've gone on double dates. That's right. With Gabby, my girlfriend. And we watched movies. It's a lot of different stuff. We have a really good time and we think you'll enjoy those episodes as well. There's all these unrelated shows.

I mentioned that. Oh, you did. Oh, you mean. Oh, in addition to our show. In a yes. Yes. Yes. There's other shows that you can enjoy that are not in our feed.

Don't freak him out. So I can hear you. But I know you're still sort of weirded out by whatever you saw on there. No, I'm so sorry, Doug. Sorry. It's a terrible thing. I'm really sorry. But yeah, you can hear, you know, Hey Randy, or Scott hasn't seen, which I still, who cares?

We've, we've got the one we did. What is he gonna see? We did that one, burnt. I, yeah, I keep forgetting. Don't you remember? I keep forgetting. Something about the title is just like- Is it, he hasn't seen anything?

No, it turns out it's about Is it he hasn't seen anything? No, it turns out it's about movies. Yes. Oh, and again, who cares? I think it's fun. I mean, I haven't seen most things. Wait, what do you mean? Are we just all going to make podcasts of things we haven't seen? Don't give everybody the idea. Who cares? You can make a podcast about anything, obviously.

Obviously. And then you can have your own mobile service. Places I haven't been. Not enough having a podcast? Have your own phone company. That's smart. I think it's less than that. All right. Well, thank you so much for listening. We really we really do love our listeners, if not fans,

and we will be back for a ninth season. And until then, goodbye. And bye. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed. The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins. And me, Nicole Parker.

And me, Brett Morris. This episode's guest was played by Mitch Silpott. The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang World. Go to CBBWorld.com to unlock the entire history of the show, ad-free, as well as brand new full-length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maximus subscribers. Your support keeps the show going.