The Neighborhood Listen - You Could Have Made A Difference with Brian Bahe

Episode Date: April 9, 2024

On this week's episode we finally learn the true story behind the theme song, Burnt goes through the inventory management procedure at the Phallsmacy, and Joan explains the long overdue room in the Pedestrian home she has Doug working on. Later, they are joined by Dignity Falls resident Gerald (Brian Bahe) who has a dire warning for the neighborhood.Go to cbbworld.com and sign up for the Maximus plan to unlock access to the entire ad-free archive as well as brand new exclusive BONUS ROOM episodes adventuring deeper into Dignity Falls!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Look out, Canadian listeners, this one's for you. Coho is a mastercard with an easy-to-use app that makes managing your finances easier. Coho lets you earn cash back, borrow, build your credit history, and so much more. Join over 1 million Canadians and sign up for your free trial today. Download Coho on Google or App Store today or koho.ca for more details. Plus, for any basketball fans out there, get a $75 e-gift card for nbastore.ca when you sign up with the promo code koho75. That's code koho75. Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins. And I'm Nicole Parker. On this podcast, we improvise in character using real posts from a popular neighborhood networking website.

Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know. To support the show and unlock the ad-free archive, as well as exclusive monthly episodes of The Bonus Room, go to cbbworld.com and sign up for a Maximus membership. And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen. Knock, knock. Who's there? Your neighbor. Good. neighborhood listen knock knock who's there your neighbor good indignity falls you're never alone you've got the neighbor half app and us burnt and jode from coyotes to mail theft to weird things to

sell we'll cover it all and meet new neighbors as well we'll chat about any posts you're missing so just tune in to the Neighborhood Listen. Oh, why not? Doug, what is happening? What is that? It's our theme song. That we've never, this is never. But you know what, I kind of enjoyed that.

It was kind of fun, because we never hear it. We never get to hear it, and I forget that it plays on every episode. That's right and and uh you know it's i'm glad we've recorded it rather than do it live every single time oh yes because i remember it was a real we were really pulling teeth to get you to record that in the first place it was a long recording session because burnhead explained we we were you know we were uh it was a many many years ago you know we didn't know each other as well as we do know each other now. That's right.

If that's fair to say. And you were, you know, as we all know, you're sort of pitched, sort of you can only sing on one note. That's right. And so I said, well, just talk it mostly. But you can sort of hear your reluctance in your voice a little bit. Well, I was nervous. I've never done anything like that before. Of course you were. Yes, yes.

But what's funny is recording that theme song became the inspiration for the podcast joan contacted me and said i want to record this song and i said that sounds great and uh you know get me out of my comfort zone exactly exactly i don't know what it's about yeah yeah so we recorded that and then and then you, a few years after that, we, we were at lunch and, you know, Joan reminded me of the song and I said, you know what? What if we actually did what's in the song? Just never occurred to me. I just wanted the demo, you know, just really wanted to be creative that day. And of course I was thrilled to be a part of it.

And now, and now look, here we are. And now we have six years, six seasons later, right? Six seasons later, we are, we are doing this and having such a great time. And, and Joan, let's, let's catch up. How are you doing? Oh, I'm doing well. I'm going to sort of answer a question that is also going to answer the question you normally ask for Doug, which is what room he's in. What I have decided is Doug, so Doug is in the theater. I cannot believe that out of all the rooms I've built in this house,

I didn't think, you know what? I just want a theater. A home theater? No, no, like a theater. Oh, sorry. With a stage. Oh, oh, I see. Not to watch movies.

No, why am I waiting around constantly? You know, I've been trying so hard after the Christmas cabaret debacle, you know, and in different spaces trying to do my own shows and whatnot. Why don't I just build my own theater? Wow. You know, and so, because why not? Why not?

I have a wine cave and I have a... With real bats. With real bats. I mean, why don't I have an actual theater? So he's in there. Now the thing is that I really just wanted most of the spaces dedicated to like a true life, real life size stage with the depth so that we can have a fly space.

You know what a fly space is? No, but you know what I mean? It's not a black box. I wanted a Broadway size theater. I see. This is what I'm saying. So it only seats 20 because there's just one row that goes all the way across. So it's not like a black box theater, but it only seats 20 people. Correct.

Because what I really wanted was just the feeling of being on a huge stage. But it is strange because the house is just almost non-existent. So most of the theater is stage. Most of the theater is stage. Right. Ropes. Right. Ropes.

Ropes and pulleys. These are the elements of the theater. Stage, ropes, pulleys oh right these are the elements of the theater stage ropes pulleys i taught doug all about you know the backstage fly area the fly space where's that the fly space oh i'm so glad you asked if you ever if you've ever gone to see a show where different backdrops come in and come out, seemingly out of nowhere from the sky. Exactly. They go up into this big barn-like area called the fly space. A big barn-like area?

Well, it's just a huge, you have to have, it's almost like, it looks like you have to build a barn on top of the building. It's a huge extra space. Think of a barn, but without all the things that barns have.

Well, of course not, babe. I mean, he knows that there's not a cow and there's not a horse in it, but yes, it's just a big thing. There is, make a wish. It's just, horse in it but but yes it's just a big wish as we talked about in our previous episode so you basically there's all these ropes and pulleys like he said and there and here's the sad thing is that back in the day the crewman the big burly crewman used to pull these ropes you know and the and the the new york city backdrop would fly up

out of the the the visibility of the audience up into the fly space. And then you'd find yourself in hell. That's right. As the story goes in Annie. And the sad thing is now it's all automated these days. No. There's no more burly men just pulling on the ropes. I mean, there are in certain places.

That's what I wanted. So I'm doing the old school way. So you have a crew. I will have a crew. Listen, if Doug gets to have a fully functioning sizzler in our house. Is that still going, by the way? Yes, it is. What?

But we only open Mondays and Wednesdays. I made him have at least a schedule so that we could be, because the theaters, as you know, is always dark on Mondays. Theaters are always dark on Mondays. Oh, I see. Yeah, Monday's the day off. So I was like, fine, you can have a sizzler. What does that mean, dark?

It just means that it's not operational. It's not, there are no shows performing. Oh, I thought it was, they would do the shows, but they would save money on electricity. You thought it was just sort of like a fun 1940s version, like a radio, everyone just sat in the dark listening to. Right, or like those restaurants where they turn off all the lights.

Yes. And it's a different dining experience because you can't see what you're eating. Can you believe they really pulled that off? That seems wild to me. And more than once, right? Oh, yeah. Several places did it. Absolutely. How are you the second place to do that? When you hear about the first place, you go, I'm going to do that too.

I believe it was first. it feels like it was first done in like Amsterdam, which is where everything was done first. That sounds right, right? So, so basically that's just what it means.

It means the lights are off. You know, it's a, it's a literal and figurative, but there's no performance. That's where you got me. Got you there. Touche.

See, we didn't have this report when we recorded that song so many years ago. No. I thought your name was Joanne. You did. Yes.

And I couldn't pronounce your last name. No, that's right. I really was saying Millipede a whole bunch. Yes, but of course it's Mia Pate. So that is where Doug is. And I think he's just- Stella! He's testing out the acoustics.

Figaro! He's testing out the acoustics. That's real good, babe. A little bit of street car, a little bit of opera. Doug, of course, is my husband, if I didn't say that already. And he's our engineer as well. And he likes to record the episodes from a different room in our house every time. Well, he likes to, but he says it's because it's for sound. It's for sound. That's right. Yes. Yeah. Even though we stay in the same room every time. Well, he likes to, but he says it's because it's for sound. It's for sound. That's right.

Yes. Yeah. Even though we stay in the same room every time. We stay in the same room every time. So how is it, babe? Do you like it?

Do you like the stage? It's coming along. Oh, okay. It's not ready for you yet. Oh, well. I would say. I mean, okay. I guess I want it really ready.

What does that mean, Doug? That it's not ready for Joan? Is it because of her exacting standards? No, there's just kind of hazards everywhere. Oh, everywhere? I think the twins are undoing my work right after I do it. Oh, no, I don't want them to do that. These are, of course, my twins, Matt and-

Anti-Matt. And Anti-Matt. It was Anti-Matter, but we shortened it to Anti-Matt. Because you don't want to go back and name him Matter. No. The other one. That's right. Because remember, Matt came out first famously.

Yes, famously. And then my second twin didn't come out for like another day. We just didn't know there was another one in there. That was a boy. What a long day that must have been. You had to go back to the hospital. So yeah, Matt and Auntie Matt are getting into it apparently

and well, just tell them that is my sacred space, okay? That's my sacred space. Put the ghost light out. Maybe that'll scare them. What's the ghost light? I'm so glad you asked, Bert. She's nailing you. I'm scoring left and right.

The ghost light is what, it's two things at once. It's sort of, first of all, shows that the show is over and it's just this very old school, just light bulb in a little sort of like cage. It shows that the show is over. Right, it's symbolic that, you know, it's the last thing that's placed on the middle of the stage

and it's on all night. It burns all night. And it is supposed to be to keep the theater ghosts away. And then the audience can leave. No, they're already long gone. Oh. This is after everybody's left

and like the stage manager puts it right there. They assumed it was over, but it wasn't over yet because the ghost light had not been placed. The real ending. It would be funny if they made an audience wait for everyone else to leave the theater for all the actors to leave for all the crew the ushers yes just to witness that ghost light being put on someone's now someone's

gonna do that now in a deconstructed media in a deconstructed revival of south pacific someone will do that i'd love to see a deconstructed south pac South Pacific, someone will do that. Oh, I'd love to see a deconstructed South Pacific. Where they're all covered in blood at the finale. That's right. Because that is the one rule when you revive something with an edge. Everyone has to end with everyone just spattered with blood. Is it okay for, does it be a clap on? The ghost light?

Yeah. Sure, babe. Whatever you want. But what are the hazards? Could you explain some? Yeah,. Sure, babe. Whatever you want. But what are the hazards? Could you explain some? Yeah, good question, Joe. Every time I keep laying down planks of wood for the stage. Okay, I didn't know you were still doing this.

You're building the stage. I thought that the stage was built. I see. I assumed that it was a little further along than that. I thought it was, too. So did I, and I live here. And I did, too. And then I keep coming back, and there's holes in it.

Holes. And I keep falling through. Oh dear. And it's just like. We do have a full orchestra pit underneath, but I just don't know if we're ever going to actually have use for it. Does the orchestra pit, it goes under the stage? Halfway, generally.

There's really only just about. Halfway? Yeah. Why is that creepy to me? I don Halfway, generally. There's really only just about- Halfway? Yeah. Why is that creepy to me? I don't know, Bert. We have just the- Because there's only so much space in theaters generally. Okay.

I just get animated because I love the theater. I'm not angry at you. All right. That's good to know. I want to see the orchestra. I feel like we should innovate that. Well, listen, sometimes people put them on stage and all over the place. Everything's different now.

But back in the day. Sometimes they make the actors that you have to learn an instrument. Sometimes the actors are the musicians. That's correct. I don't like that. Neither does the musicians. Why don't they take the tickets as well? Don't give them the idea.

All the ushers will be covered in blood. Someone's going to take this idea. I'm telling you right now. What if they only covered the ushers in blood. Someone's going to take this idea. I'm telling you right now. What if they only covered the ushers in blood? And then at the end of the show, you walk out and then all of a sudden the ushers are all spattered with blood and there's no explanation.

Wait, you said when you enter, they're covered in blood? No, when you enter, they're normal. Oh, okay. And at the end, they're covered in blood. With no explanation. Why are you, why are you guys covered in blood? Oh, my word.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know why people do things like that now. But I guess it's, again, it's just how you reinvent art. Sometimes I don't understand it. Let's ask Doug, though. When you say holes, do you mean like there are planks of wood missing? Or do you mean there are sort of circular Bugs Bunny type holes in the floor?

Yeah, like circular saw, like a circular saw has been used. Yes, like a saw came up from underneath and just cut a circle. Yeah, that sometimes there's little. That does sound like the twins. Little bits of rug over the hole. Because they love Bugs Bunny.

Oh, no. They love Bugs Bunny. Well, of course they do. Then I don't like this because, you know, half of those things, you know, they would always be in a theater. They'd be like a falling piano, you know, and the Daffy Duck would just have keys for teeth.

Yes. Well, anyways, that's what we're doing. What are you up to at the Falzmasy, Burns? Things are great at the Falzmasy. Okay. We are, we have been voted the most well-stocked pharmacy in America. Congratulations. Absolutely. Wow. Absolutely.

Wow, I didn't even know that was an award to give. Oh, it's very important in the pharmacy world. Oh, okay, well, it does make sense now that I think about it. Yes, yes, yes. But we have absolutely everything in stock at all times. Wow, and that is so rare. From insulin to Propecia to Lactaid, we've got it all. To Propecia.

Yes. Okay, wait, isn't that the, oh, I'm thinking, okay, propitia. What were you thinking of? Alopecia. I was thinking you were naming the actual problem,

not the cure. It's the pisha that got me, you know, it's the shared. Here's how you can remember. Yes. Is pisha. Mm-hmm.

Fix pisha in your mind okay i got it and then say uh uh pisha am i pro pisha yes i want to have pisha if it's alopecia think out of pisha i'm all out of pisha what am i without you and then pretend that Pisha is hair. So it's three pretends. You know what? That really helped Burns. You're a great teacher. Well,

come on. Is it a, I have a question. Sure. I'm just wondering if the well stocked thing is a kind of a blessing and a curse. Cause I'm wondering if that just means poor inventory management.

You know, if you're overstocked with items. Doug, it's quite the opposite. Okay. It's quite the opposite. It means that as soon as we move something, it is immediately replaced. Oh, wow. So it's always there.

Like those tennis guys? Like those, Doug, you nailed it. It's exactly like that. We have kids in shorts. Except for instead of removing balls, they're replacing them. That's right. Replacing Propecia. We have kids in shorts who are running back and forth.

As we know, as Burt has discussed in the previous season, there is a ranking. He is pharmacist in chief, then there's chancellorist, right? Then there's pharmacist regent. There's a regent. There's a Viscount. And he's third in line. You can't travel together.

No, we cannot. Myself and the regent, we cannot travel together. So I would assume that these, I don't know, they're not called tennis boys, the balls boys. They're not called ball boys. Medicine men. They're medicine men. Fantastic. But they are boys.

We've gotten in some trouble over there. I imagine. Just young boys in shirts running with pharmaceuticals. Because we were so in love with the alliteration, we forgot to think. But it does sound like a delightful holiday movie your parents love directed by George Clooney. Here's my confusion. Here's why I shut

down. Because you almost think that's a real thing already? There is a movie called Medicine Man. Oh, no, but that's... With Sean Connery and Lorraine. I found the cure to the plague of the 21st century and I've lost it. Is that a line from Medicine Man? Starring Sean Connery, Lorraine Brocko, and a pony tail.

Stop saying it when it was out give me a little of of of Sean Connery with the umbrella on the beach Indiana Jones

it's always a favorite of mine I suddenly remembered my Charlotte Bay and what little noise he makes oh that's right

thank you very much thank you I appreciate that anyway thanks anyway making me do that burn it's a real pleasure every time it's my pleasure is mine so these kids are great and they they go they go and fetch the uh maybe we'll call them something else so they're going monuments men that was a movie that he actually made i'm always thinking it's your roman empire probably three times a day i think of the movie monument I'm always thinking of Monument Men. It's your Roman Empire. Probably three times a day I think of the movie Monument Men.

What a fun movie. Maybe my favorite movie. You know what? That tracks for you. Love it. It really tracks for you. Love it. Oh, just what a great gang of guys. Okay.

So go on. The Medicine Men. Yeah. They streak to and fro from the pharmacy to the- Let's be careful. Again, there's so many on with the medicine men yeah they they um they uh streak to and fro from the pharmacy to the uh let's be careful again there's so many problems with this they do not streak they they run back and forth i forgot about streaking that's not still a thing there was a streaker at small world did you see that story a little while back i did see that yeah i think he was not in a great place but it's still kind of that's a lot for all for all the all the rides

to choose that one, that's rough. Perhaps he did not intend to be a streaker. Is that what we're thinking? Oh, I do not think so. I do not think so. He might have had some problems. I think he might have. Yes.

But so, okay. So, but these boys, these are their clothes. They're running back and forth. They're running back and forth from the, we have like a sort of warehouse nearby. And then that has a van that runs back and forth. Oh. From the airport to the supply warehouse.

Okay. But you also have probably a stock room just in back, right? When people always say, let me check. Well, that's where they run to the stock room. Oh, right. Yes. Not like in Sephora, where basically they don't have absolutely anything. And you're supposed to look in the drawers.

Everyone's rifling through these drawers. And all there is is just one brown eyeliner, the same kind. And nothing and then someone's like we'll go check in the back and they just stare at you and then they just maybe touch their earpiece and then they go sorry nothing happens i swear there's a conspiracy going on there i'm so that was a real tangent it sounds like service is terrible and i think they actually only sell one kind of eyeliner all right continue what an expose that would be it sure would be you brought the curtain down on a big take down on sephora absolutely it's time is up yeah so so we always we always have the medicine that people are looking for and uh and it's a it's a it's a point of pride for seriously it's it makes us feel very good oh that's wonderful yes i'm so happy for you there's

nothing worse if you need medicine you run out of it oh it's just terrible you know i i had a friend one time who was on um uh a prescription medication for a brief period and went in there get it refilled and um for some reason this was this pharmacy this day, there was no one over 22 years old. And my friend was saying, I want to get this filled. I called this in and they said it was filled. And they said, no, we don't have it. And my friend was getting upset because it was medicine. Sure.

And they were saying, yeah, there's a problem with the supply and my friend has to speak with the manager which is always a mortifying thing to ever actually do in real life to have those words come out of your mouth yes and then the manager came maybe 23 and uh the manager said yeah there's a there's a nationwide shortage of this. And then my friend went and talked to his doctor. The doctor said, no, there's not. Oh, dear. So I don't know what was happening that day.

You know, Bert, I always wanted to ask this question. Does anyone really get the non-generic version of any drug? Because I swear to God, I mean, nobody, I don't, nobody I know, every single thing you get just says generic four. Does the real one even exist? Oh, I think that it does. Just for really fancy people? Exactly. Who they can, so they can brag.

Ugh. They can say, well, buterin, they don't have to say bupropion. And that sounds like maybe the worst version of trying to do a like, you know, like medicine, shmedicine. Right. But that sounds like someone not knowing how to do that game. They should just say it should be. What is this game? Generic.

Right, but that sounds like someone not knowing how to do that game. They should just say, it should be- What is this game? Generic. I think calling it a game is really putting, giving it too much credit. I thought it was something you did in the theater that I wasn't aware of. Well, you know what? It could be a very fun theater game. Medicine, shmedicine.

You go around- Well, and that's very good for warming up the mouth, but- Medicine, shmedicine. See? Don't you already feel like you're more articulate? I do. Medicine schmedicin. But it's not... I am Bert Mia Patey, the co-host of The Neighborhood Listen.

But wait, wait. So you know what I'm talking about when people just do that. It's not a game. It's just a saying when people are not concerned about something. Oh, sure. Like, oh, we need medicine. Ah, medicine schmedicin. It probably shouldn't be in that context. because that always seems like it's important. What a response that would be. Mommy, I need medicine.

Medicine, medicine. Cancer schmatzer. Oh, no, definitely not that one. Okay. So, you know, you understand what I'm saying. Yes. It sounds like someone was trying to do that with Wellbutrin. Now I forget what they wrote.

It sounds like someone was trying to do that, but they weren't good at it. Like, it should just be Wellbutrin, Schmelzschmutrin, right good at it like it should just be well buterin schmel schmutrin right that's what the generic should be called but instead they're like well buterin bupropyl it's like they messed it up do you know what i mean it's not even close to well buterin shouldn't it sound what you're saying shouldn't it sound like well buterin well the worst is is alexapro, the generic for Lexapro. Oh, yeah, which is like. The Skittalazapram. Yes, yes, yes. The Skittalazapram. The Skittalazapram.

That's like an Alice in Wonderland monster. First of all, correct. The Slithy Toves did. He just made this stuff up, right? 100%. Okay, all right. What's a Jabberwocky? Is it Jabberwocky or the Jabberwock?

I suppose it is a Jabberwock. I don't know, but it sounded like it sounded. Did you hear that weird gurgling? Where did that come from? It was a Jabberwock. That came from my throat. It was a Jabberwock. Beware, my boy.

I'm drinking a root beer. I'm drinking a root beer, and it was like there's a little bit of effervescent carbonation. It was effervescent reflux, and it was real clear, and it sounded like a demon. I'm glad root beer and it was like there's a little bit of effervescent carbonation. Effervescent reflux and it was real clear. And it sounded like a demon. I'm glad we got that clean. Me too. Well, anyways. Yes.

So that's what's going on with me. And things with Gabby are going well. You're still with Gabby. Yes. We didn't even discuss this in our first episode. I know. Gabby is a smokejumper, of course, for everybody that doesn't remember. That's right.

That you reconnected with. We reconnected and it's been going very well. Wow. We should have them for dinner. We should have Burnt and Gabby for dinner. That's a lovely idea, babe. We would love that. Would you like to come to the sizzler?

Oh, we can reserve a table. We've got connections. Is it definitely going to be at the sizzler oh we can reserve a table we've got we've got connections is it is it definitely going to be at the sizzler oh you don't want it to be at the sizzler well if you're going to someone's home for dinner well that's i mean it's kind of like you get both you're at our home and you're at a restaurant will other patrons that's our motto that's our motto will it be like we have the restaurant we are putting out commercials for it now are you really you guys are really all in on this sizzler and you know what's crazy is that it starts with sizzler schmizzler right i do that thing i'm talking about that game right because it's not quite because it's not quite sizzler right and i say when you're at sizzler you're actually home

which is a play on how olive garden is now saying when you're here, you're home. Good. I'm worried that it was family. Still a play on that. It still is, but now I don't have to worry about it so much. So I say when you're here, you're home. And they really are. They're at our home. Well, then there's the whole disclaimer

about how this is a sizzler recreated from memory and not research. For whatever reason, even though Google is wildly available, Doug did not look up any pictures of the sizzler, which is how he ended up with one shiny brick. That's right. The shiny brick was very important. Very important. I don't know that we discussed before that the scissor was created from memory. We did not discuss it enough because it's honestly ridiculous.

You know, there are just, it's like walking through someone's, you know, someone who's losing their memory almost, you know, where it's just they only can remember certain things, just certain snatches of ideas. It's almost like a representational set of a scissor. That's right. It's exactly it. It's like a dramatic reenactment of a sizzler that's right it's exactly it it's a it's a it's like a dramatic um reenactment of a sizzler so anyways fine but we don't have to go to sizzler but just talk about talk about what gabby and you like to do what do you do for fun

um we like to dig i'm sorry what now like to dig oh there wasn't any more to it it was just dig that sounds fun we like to we like to yeah we like to dig for artifacts really treasure

do you find anything where are you oh yeah absolutely what have you found well you know do you remember when there because we've talked

a lot about the about Dignics and the yes Dignics and the. Yes. Dignics are the old form of currency. The wooden nickels. The wooden nickels. Yeah.

And, and of course there were, there were, we had, we had our own dimes for a while. We did. Those were made from not copper. I can't remember what they were made from. Coriander? Coriander. Sure. I thought we already talked about this.

Pressed coriander. Pressed coriander. And that was not the biggest difference. The biggest difference on the Dignity Falls dime was it was FDR and he was rolling his eyes. Yes, that's right. And the regular dime, he's just kind of looking straight ahead. And then in this one, he just looks over it.

And so, yeah, I mean, our currency has an interesting history. Yes, and they're worth negative cents now. Yeah, well, most of them are. Yes, they're just not worth anything. So hang on a second. But I thought some of them were made from bullet casings. Which ones were those? I can't remember.

Some listeners will remember. I think the quarters maybe were made from bullet casings. Okay. Well, again again we're quirky nothing's normal here nothing is normal here we use found objects for things but now you're saying you're finding these kinds of things these old useless coins yes and then there's one hole that we've been digging we've worked on just to see how deep we can go now do you need a permit for this where is this happening no it's in the back of her backyard it's in her back you don't you don't need a

permit to dig in your own backyard i guess you don't and so yeah we have and you know what that's one of the signs welcome to denny falls you don't need a permit to dig in your own backyard and it's drawn a lot of people to it which is maybe not i think so too and and what's fun is when if you move here and then the guy from the city council shows up and tells you the things you need to know about Dignity Falls, he will start to say, and you don't need a permit, and then you get to finish it with him. Dig in your own backyard!

And it's fun. And then you feel like you really moved here. I know. Yeah. And we do have, we'll keep building on that list because there is a whole list of things that you have to do when you get here. Yeah, we'll keep building and we'll remember all of them. All right. Well, we should take a break. We do have a guest coming up.

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Bobby pin container. Portable sewing kit. You could put a bunch of pennies in there. Put some medicine from one bottle into these bottles if you don't like the bottles your medicine came in. Play-doh mold, silly putty mold, dough mold for making pill bottle cookies, sand, tiny sandcastle, maybe a parking bollard so people can't get to the sandcastle. You build the sandcastle, then you put the bollards at the front.

Funny auga eyes. You could paint eyeballs on the bottom and then clamp them with your eye sockets and act like you're the wolf going a-ooga. And that's all the uses. So there you go. You can choose any one of those or many. Pill bottles, medication vials, Stuart.

medication vials and Stuart. And welcome back to The Neighborhood Listen. And guess what, Joan? What? We have a guest. My favorite. This is my favorite, too. I know. I just love meeting the people in our neighborhood. Here's what we do. We scour the NeighborHap, the

social networking application for neighborhoods, and we look for interesting people to talk to, post that catch our interest, and then we interview the people, and we look for interesting people to talk to, uh, posts that catch our interest. And then we interview the people and it's a great way to get to know our neighbors. And for you, the listener to get to know dignity falls.

And, uh, if you happen to see a post that maybe we missed on the neighbor app, screenshot it and send it to us. Burnt and Joan at gmail.com. And now we have a guest here. Um, and we're very excited to talk to this person. This is in the crime and safety section.

This comes from Gerald. Gerald says, please everyone, keep an eye in your neighbors. Make sure that they are safe because if you don't, they may be gone tomorrow, never to be seen again.

Wow. And you could have made a difference. Wow. That's heavy. It is. That's a heavy post. It is a heavy post. And that's it?

That's it. It's also very cryptic. Yeah, it is. I mean, but I mean- But it doesn't have to be anymore because we have. Well, do we have the poster? Yes, we do we

have gerald right here gerald welcome to the neighborhood listen thank you for having me of course thank you for coming yeah gerald this is quite a post yeah yeah i was i was really just like letting a lot of stuff out at the time i had just recently um come into contact with uh hsv1 herpes simplex. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. So I was having a little bit of an outbreak and. Oh, okay.

I'm sorry to hear that. And then I, yeah. And then I thought I was going to die. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so like, like, um, only because of like an anxiety issue or because medically you

were told that was going to happen. Well, yeah. Medically I go to a free clinic and so you know the doctors they're not not the do you go to diggity docs i go to diggity docs and the doctor there was like hey you this is what you have and you could die from it and i was like i wish you know i wish somebody i wish more of us heard that so that we don't take every single day for granted. I will say though, I know, but I will say at Diggity Docs, they are really, they're very dramatic there. They're very dramatic.

Do you know what I mean? They sort of end up telling everybody. Yes. No matter what it is. My friend went in there with her little girl for a splinter and they told her she was going to die. They were playing the organ. Like they just have a little keyboard that's set to organ mode.

That is way too maudlin. Who wants in the waiting room? Can you imagine? It's too much. What I don't like, even though it's Box, Tarkata, Fugue, and D-Minor, even though it's a free clinic, what they always do, they say, you might die from this, and then they flip around

the iPad with a tip. Oh, isn't it unbelievable you are right you are right there is an option to give a tip they shouldn't have i mean it's getting out of hand i tip five i'm like this is it's like it takes so much to not tip like of course of course, you're going to look like a jerk. They put you in a terrible position. You have to press more buttons to not tip. That is true. That is a very, very good point. Yeah, there's that button that says it is a free clinic.

Exactly, yeah. I know. I don't know. I'm not a fan of that place. I'm not a fan of that place. I won't go there. I won't go there just because I'm already nervous. Okay, I understand.

Well, that makes a big difference. Okay, so they told you this. Okay, so go on. Yeah, and so, you know, I didn't, when I got home, you know,

I didn't really have anybody to share this news with because my cat ran away. And so, yeah, she's usually who I share most of my information. Sure. Of course.

With my day-to-day musings, my thoughts, song lyrics, all of those things. Like song lyrics that you yourself right yeah yeah i'm a composer um interesting full-time wow yeah we've never had a composer on the show before no and not a full-time one no not a full time one yeah there's a lot of moonlighters out there but i'm the only one right well i want to know more about that but just continue on about this day in this post yeah so i i was just like i i i need to share this with people and i was wondering like how many of us actually think about death oh yeah in relation

to the people we live near right and i hopped on the app okay um and is that your app of choice to sort of hop on a lot of people go to tiktok for comfort or instagram to scroll but you go to the neighbor yes it's in it's the most lowest right corner on my home i see i see it's the most convenient oh i mean yeah we all know right there so, yeah, it's the most accessible via a right-handed person. If you're right, I was just going to say, if you're right-handed, that's where your go-to app lives. And then I just kind of

let some thoughts flow as if I were composing a song, and then that's kind of what just left my person. You know, that's kind of a good point, because if you look at it again, I can see that sort of becoming a song. There's some lovely ideas in there.

You know, just checking on your, like, well, now I need to read it again because now that I know he's a composer, you know, I feel like we need to see it through a composer's lens. Yes. Let's just hear it again. I'll give you time to get it, Bert.

Please, everyone, keep an eye in your neighbors. Make sure that they are safe because if you don't, they may be gone tomorrow, never to be seen again, and you could have made a difference. See, I think I can hear, that feels very lyrical to me. Now, I have two questions about the post.

One is, keep an eye in your neighbors. Was that a typo or does that actually mean something different to you? We try to read these verbatim because we don't want to assume. Yeah, because we don't want to assume. Thank you for that. That that was a typo. That was. Oh, it was.

Well, now I'm embarrassed. It kind of. Yeah, it was just like flowing out of me. I don't really. Well, really, it kind of it's very poetic. Thank you. Yeah, I think it actually kind of emphasizes how like the the passion that went into it you know right absolutely yeah and so then how do you what does it mean to you when

you say you could have made a difference what what does that mean when you say that um i think that means that you could have done something if you if you you could have intervened right i guess i mean to say what does that look like? You know, what were you, like, for example, I have a feeling that you wrote this kind of wishing someone was checking in on you, right?

I was going to say, because you had this experience and then you sort of, rather than say, I wish somebody would check on me. Correct. You're saying, hey, we should all look out for each other.

Please do this to someone else and sort of in parentheses, the quiet part is because someone didn't do this for me. So what would you like, what would you have liked to have someone do for you in that moment i really wish somebody got between me and the herpes like okay so like a preemptive thing yes i think we should all be on the lookout for ways we can be bodyguards right like take a like sort of secret service leap in front of someone exactly leap in front of the herpes which is tricky because it's situation where you might actually come into

contact where breeze would be an intimate situation where there wouldn't be another person present maybe maybe not or might depends on your lifestyle well right but even so then not a person who would want to get in the middle of it to stop it do you know what i mean so that's a tricky unless that's their kink and we don't kink shame on the show no we absolutely don't and we don't assume and we don't we don't assume and we don't kink shame on this show. No, we absolutely don't. We don't assume and we don't kink shame. If you want to get herpes and that does it for you, go ahead. Right. Now, I do have to ask, since this is something that was a reality for you, are you aware of the partner?

There must be a partner in your life or at least someone in your life that had something to do with this, I imagine. Right. We're no longer on speaking terms. Okay. Is it because of this or? You would think so, but no. Okay. Okay. Again, didn't want to assume. Right. We're no longer in speaking terms. Okay. Is it because of this or? You would think so, but no. Okay.

Okay. Again, didn't want to assume. Yeah. So we asked the questions. We kind of parted ways a bit earlier. Okay. How come?

May I ask? They didn't like that I would stay up, wake up so early, actually. Oh. They like to sleep in. I like to wake up early. And I immediately. Because you're full time. Because I'm full time composer. That's right. wake up so early actually oh um they like to sleep in i like to wake up early and i immediately

because i'm full-time composer and i would immediately just like get to composing oh well like are we talking like both straight up right to the piano or what is your music what is your musical instrument wind chimes that's my oh wow wind chimes yes it's very it's very subtle. Yes. You know, it's kind of like the base for a lot of music is kind of, it all stems from the chimes. Okay. Because, you know, when I listen to wind chimes, and I don't mind the sound of wind chimes. Right, right. It's very rare that an actual melody presents itself. Right, because you might say in wind chimes case, the wind is the composer.

So I'm interested in you being- That's very poetic, Joan. Thank you. Right. I'm interested in you being the Windchime composer. So what does that look like? You yourself are just batting them around. Blow on it?

I'm creating the wind. Are you blowing on it? Yes. Wow. Yes. I see. I see. And is it one set of Windchimes or do you have various-

Oh, that's a good question. You know, sizes and materials? Yeah, I have a few and they're all kind of like clusters. So it's like a cluster of wind chimes that kind of go along the entire west wall of my home. Okay, wow. I've never heard someone refer to a west wall, a west wing maybe, but a west wall.

Right, a West wall. A West wall. How many walls total? Is that you mean outside or inside? There's about four total. One for each direction. Yeah, absolutely.

So the West wall, that's your composing area. The West wall, yeah. Right. The East wall is nothing but microphones. Oh, wow. Okay.

For what? What are those? For the recording? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Got it. Got it.

Okay. North and south insulation. Okay. Sure. Yeah. So I guess I can see if you are a person who sleeps in, now there's a whole wall of wound chimes that are now already alive and making sound yes that i can say that could be maybe a point of tension for a couple yeah and

were you living together no oh sorry oh do you know what i did you assumed i did so sorry we i i've never gotten that close with another person oh to sleep with oh in order to live with them yeah to live with them okay yes yeah yeah okay so then wait a minute if so then if this person so if there was no stakes or no sort of like pressure to move in together um how come this person well i guess you would leave maybe at some point when they wanted to before the wind chimes start or they don't have to stay there because they're not living there they could go home well but they like to sleep in oh i guess that's true they like to come over and sleep in and you can't go over to this person's house um can we name this person yeah uh mike okay mike

yeah so can you go over mike's place could you i know it's in the past but no he would come oh he lived far away oh that's hard um i would I would have to drive there. How far? Like four miles. Oh, that's far for you? I prefer to walk. Oh, okay. Well, then, yeah, that's far. That's why he goes to Diggity Docks.

Oh, right, because it's right around the corner from his home. That's right. Yeah, and so he liked to come over and sleep in because I have a good mattress. Oh. Yeah, and he really liked that. Yeah. I see. And so.

Well, that's just too bad that you guys couldn't figure out a way to wait. There had to been something else, you know? I mean, was that just sort of the straw that broke the camel's back or or was it really just sorry, we can't figure this out. You can't Uber to his place somehow. Or was that Mike? Mike was so bed oriented. He really oriented. He kept you every day.

You'd be like, what kind of mattress is this? I would tell him. But he would just ask you over and over again. Every single day as if he just has poor listening skills. That is strange. That doesn't seem like that hard to retain as far as information goes. It's like a one word answer.

How long were you together? About four months. Four months? Every day for four months? Every day for four months. What does Mike do for a living? He's a coach. A coach? Wow.

Softball coach. Oh, okay. Softball coach. Okay. All right. So then, I mean, I assume he would eventually leave to go to work or was he just, I mean, because again, if you're a coach, generally you're a teacher. So I would think you'd have to be up early to get to school.

Unless it was a professional team. He mostly did Zoom. He did Zoom coaching for softball? Even at this point, okay, he's still doing... And how does that work? They would just put a laptop out there on the field? I believe so. Anytime I would walk by his screen, he would always kind of

shield the screen from me, so I couldn't get a good look. That seems strange. Absolutely. I thought so seems strange. Absolutely. I thought so, too. Have you ever been to any of his team's games? No, he said he didn't want me to go because he got nervous when I would, if he knew I was in the audience. In the audience. Now, first of all, the fact that he said audience makes me think he's not a coach.

Yeah, that's suspicious. Audience is famously not a sports term. Nope. Well, let me ask you this when when mike would would uh hunch over the the screen to hide it from you could you hear any sound from the laptop thank you i mean here and there every once in a while you could hear like a oh like a like the sound of like the bat the telltale crack of the softball bat. Absolutely. Um,

but then he would, yeah. You know, when he, if he was like really in coaching mode, he would go to a different room, um, close the door and just like whisper a lot.

Now that, especially if he's trying to get to a bunch of, uh, softball players on a field, you would think you'd have to amplify your voice in some way. I would, yeah. But then again, I didn't want to ask too many questions.

He was very, yeah, he was temperamental. And so I just did my wind chime work from about 8.30 to 7. Yep. Wow. Full day.

Working 9.30 to 7. And what a way to make a living. And what kind of, what kind of, what are you composing for? Oh, yeah. A lot of local radio ads. That's kind of like the base. Yeah. Okay.

A lot of. Are there any we would have heard that are on right now? Yeah, the Ford. The Ford ad. Oh, yeah. For the Ford Foundation. Yeah. Dignity Falls made a car called the Ford Foundation. Specifically, it's a new design just for Dignity Falls. It's only available. You can only

drive it in Dignity Falls. Oh, you if you try to drive it in a car, you can't cross city line. It shuts down. It has only available. You can only drive in Indignity Falls. Oh, you, if you try to drive in it, you can't cross city line. It shuts down. It has those things that shopping carts have. It shuts down. Yes, exactly.

If you leave, it comes. The wheel seats up and that, you're out of luck. You could steal one within Dignity Falls. You can.

You absolutely can do that. Quite easy. It's becoming a problem actually right off the bat. do that. It's quite easy. It's becoming a problem, actually, right off the bat. People are doing it just for fun. It's becoming basically like a bird scooter at this point. The Ford Foundation was the lowest car, lowest to the ground. Yes, it is. Well, I mean, it is.

It's still out right now, right? Your commercial is out right now. Yes. Now I'm thinking about it. There are wind chimes in that commercial oh yeah right it's sort of like because you know it's sort of like a picture yourself in a ford made for you you know it's i can't remember all the rest of it but um it's sort of i don't know is it helen mirren yeah it's helen mirren i just didn't do a very good job.

Let's see if I could try. Absolutely. Picture yourself in a Ford. All for you. Made for you. I don't know. Well, that's really amazing. What an amazing.

I never it never occurred to me that wind chime composing could be a sustainable uh job honestly i didn't even think of it as part of the jingle i thought it was just there in the background right but that that was that was uh gerald gerald okay sorry well you haven't really said his name that much the first time i heard that commercial i remember thinking uh there were wind chimes outside and i went and looked and there were no wind chimes outside and then then the second time I heard it, I realized, oh, this is part of the commercial. Right. I think the reason they came to me was they were like, we know that wind chimes are kind of a thing. They know that wind chimes are a thing in this town.

Right. And so they wanted to do the thing where anytime you hear a wind chime, you think of the Ford Foundation car. Right. Oh, I see. It's also confusing because there's like two minutes of wind chimes before the voiceover starts. Yeah, I think that's just sort of meant to get you into sort of almost a hypnotic state, I imagine. They really wanted to cut that out, but I told them I pushed to keep it in. Yeah, you fought for your artistic vision.

I get it. Yes, I get it. It's very pleasant to listen to. It is. Two minutes is a long time. It is a very long time. That's expensive ad space. Absolutely. I mean, they're paid for hell and mirror. For just

for something that's only going to air in one town. Those things are so quick. There's no wonder they banned them. Yeah. The second you tap the gas. Why was the commercial out if they banned them already? There's no wonder they banned them. The second you tap the gas. Why was the commercial out if they banned them already? There's a few rogue foundations.

A lot of people's necks snap when you just tap the gas. Yeah, now they're permanently looking upwards. They're really, really fast. And the diggity ducks have told them all that they're goners. Well, yeah. And some of them were, to be fair. To be fair.

Well, I'm surprised they haven't pulled the ads yet then, to be honest. I'm sorry, Gerald. We really kind of got off on a tangent. Gerald, can I ask you, what drew you to wind chimes? Well, I grew up near one. Okay. So, it was always just kind of a part of, you know, my, who I am. Like every day you kind of like see it.

Sure. Like you mean they were just in a tree in your yard? Yeah. In a tree near my yard. It's like, it's like when I eat peanut butter and jelly, it's like, that's kind of like. Oh, the nice memories. Yeah. It's like, what else am I going to do? I do i have no choice oh is there something deeper to that no it's just like i

can't cook sweet peanut butter and jelly every day you're a kid or you mean now both oh okay i cannot cook now nor could i cook as a child okay well that's the Same. And so... Did you have a good family life? Do you have siblings? Family still here in Dignity Falls? Yeah, I have one mother, one stepmother. Okay. One of each. All right.

And one stepsister. Okay. And they know how to cook, but they refused to let me in on that. They won't let you eat the food or they won't let you cook with them? They won't teach you how to cook, but they refuse to let me in on that. They won't let you eat the food or they won't let you cook with them? They won't teach you how to cook. They were like, if you eat the cooked food, you have to cook the cooked food. Oh, I see.

And so, yeah. So is that why they didn't let you in? Wait, so yeah. Does that mean they wouldn't teach you or you refused to learn? I tried to learn. I tried to learn i tried to learn i think the one time they were very welcoming they you know they are supportive i love my family oh okay okay just to make it very clear that's nice to hear if anyone's listening in the family but the first time i did was went into the kitchen i was like teach me how to cook i'm you know i've had

enough peanut butter and jelly sandwiches yeah they graciously let me do the thing, but I did end up, I chopped the cucumbers. I deboned the chicken. And then I accidentally, I thought I turned the oven on. It was on, but then I set the oven on it was on but then I set the timer on the oven too and I think that turned

the oven off and so the chicken never cooked when we put it in the oven oh dear I see and then so by that time it was 9pm when we realized that's what happened oh no and then we were all just very and that was it you never got another chance yeah and then they were like you can never cook with us again.

What? That was very unfair, especially to a child to learn the lesson that there's no try, try again. Absolutely. They're very supportive, though, in all other aspects of life. Okay.

But they do go by these Yoda rules. Do or do not, there is no try. Right, exactly. Wow. Okay, well, then that that's, so I mean, do you feel like that sort of, do you feel like stunted emotionally or socially in a way that you weren't able

to sort of learn how to prepare food for yourself? Does that apply to other parts of your life? How else are you stunted? Well, I only walk, as you guys see. See, there you go see i know burnt it was probably a harsh question but i think there is i was just clarifying well when you said it that way boy it made it sound like really harsh well you know at first joan i thought i don't know if i've ever heard anyone ask anyone else are you stunted emotionally

and then when it seemed to be okay i was like well let's really lay it out there perhaps i've really just gotten too far ahead of myself in this podcast acting too much like i've got a psychology degree sometimes i get carried away but you know it does it i had a similar question because if the peanut butter jelly is sort of all you feel like it's all you feel like it's all you know and it's all you know how to do is it well you're drawn to the wind chime because it's the only music that you were aware of and so you feel like it's the only uh music that you can do burns putting it much more um gently than i did but yes that's my question yes uh i only i mean this is you your first time meeting me but i wear these overalls every single day

every single day okay wow yeah they're very cute tie-dyed overalls and um with a i want to say burlap shirt but that can't be right right oh i'm right it's burlap wow it is burlap it say burlap shirt, but that can't be right. Right. Oh, I'm right? It's burlap. Wow, it is burlap. It's burlap. Is it comfortable? No. It's not. So what is that? Can I ask how long you've been wearing it for?

When was the first time you put on that outfit? This burlap shirt or the outfit? All of it. I started wearing this when I was about eight and a half. Okay. Okay. Okay. And then I just kind of only went to, do you guys know Dennis's? Yes. The clothing store Dennis's.

Absolutely. Of course. Yeah. And so I go there. That was where we got all of our clothes. It's sort of like a repurposed materials clothing store. Yes. So it's like any kind it's like

there's you can get a suit made out of a tablecloth yes their big claim to fame is shoes sean astin bought a suit there shoes out of frying pans shoes out of frying pans there's a picture in the front that he signed oh they don't stop talking about it he's wearing a suit made out of old records. And so I would go there and just like, you know, look through all the stuff. I was like, I never, they don't have mirrors in that store. So you can never. I think that's on purpose.

Exactly. So frustrating. They have fitting rooms. I wonder if Sean Astin had a mirror, if he really would have walked out of that store in that record suit it didn't look good it's hard to move word to the golden globes unbelievable oh he got roasted i i almost bought they had they had two of those and one of them was my size but i right i was like it's either this or the overalls. I can only, you know. Wow. I think you made the right choice. I mean, yeah, he really did.

There was that meme going around of just him walking in it with the record scratch. And then it would be the beginning of James Brown's I feel good. But then somebody in the last minute dumped it. Bad. It was a funny meme. It was a funny bad. It was a funny meme. It was a funny meme. It was a good meme. So, okay.

So you, on that day, so on that fateful day where there were two suits, you chose the overalls instead. Because it reminded you of what you used to wear when you were eight. Is that what you were saying? Yeah, eight and a half. Oh, eight and a half. Sorry. Why is that significant? Because that was when I learned to swim. learned to swim oh okay yeah eight and a half

and that's a good memory no oh oh no no it was a bad memory but but you did learn to swim or was that just when you when you took swimming lessons that was when i learned to swim i learned to swim at a single moment in my life I'd love to hear the explanation before eight and a half I did not know how to swim and then on the my eight and a half your half birthday I learned how to swim because

the circumstance around that were that I drove my mother's car wow I drove it into a pond oh no that's scary my mother's car. Okay. Okay. Really? Wow. This is, wow. I drove it into a pond.

Oh no, that's scary. Was it a Ford Foundation? It was a Ford, it was a prototype. It was a prototype, yeah. A prototype, sure. My mom, my stepmom works for the Ford Foundation

company. And so we got an early model and, you know, they were trying to market this one for kids. They had,

the pedals were high. Oh, I remember this. That was wild. The first car for children. I remember this was a huge campaign that was criticized by so many people. Yeah. And they played that clip from Look Who's Talking. You know, where the kid puts the breadstick in.

He's thinking he knows how to drive i'm not i'm not as familiar with the look who's talking universe these things are very general and what you're saying is extremely specific about a breadstick and knowing how to drive. And he was a baby in this movie, right? He gets into the car and he doesn't realize the tow truck's about to pull it. So he thinks in his head, Bruce Willis is saying, oh, I know how to do this. And he's got a breadstick in his hand. He goes, you stick a thing in here.

And it just so happens the tow truck turns on at that moment. And then he tries to reach the pedals and the tow truck just happens to start moving at that moment and it pulls the car that he's in and he thinks hey i'm driving and it's part of the movie why does the baby have a breadstick because ava go to gives him one well joan i did not see that coming Well, Joan, I did not see that coming. He's in an old folks home, and he gets given a breadstick. I don't know what to tell you.

I feel like this is taking time away from our guest. Of course it is. You asked me. Was his logo sucking too? Nope, the first one. The first one. I do think they did kind of take inspiration from that movie because a lot of the interior was edible. Oh, what?

The steering wheel was like a lollipop. Yes, that makes sense. Of course, Decatur did the kids. What a wild campaign that was. Okay, so then you were driving the prototype. And that will get us back on track. I drove the prototype into a lake. Were you by yourself?

I was by myself. That's so scary. They encouraged that. You could only get in. They encouraged it. The car would only start if- You were alone in the vehicle. If you were alone in a vehicle.

If you were under a certain height and in the vehicle alone. This is just a perverted version of blowing into a breathalyzer to start your car. Your car for children. Yes. Well, first of all, let me say before you continue, I understand now why you walk everywhere

because why would you ever get back in a car and get out of this traumatic event? We're traumatizing. Absolutely. So what happened? Please say that you just, you know, got out quickly.

Yeah. Also the cars now as, you know, when you start out with the Ford Foundation prototype, it's like the cars now just don't compare. It's like there's no.

Yes. So, yeah. So i drove the car into the pond the car because it was mostly edible it dissolved a little oh that's helpful yeah enough to get out enough to get out okay good um i crawled through the roof and uh did not know how to swim right um. Luckily, there is like a pamphlet inside the car that had all of these like emergency. This is what you do. Sort of just drawings, I imagine, because you're a kid. Just renderings. Yes. And then it's like if you get caught in a snowstorm, this is what you do.

My God, for children. This is just unbelievable. Yeah. If you're like on safari, this is what you do. And then there was- How to cut off your leg. Exactly. Yeah, if a lion or something.

And then you keep flipping, flipping, flipping. That's right. Demons can't cross the line of salt. And it's like, okay, if you are in a pond, punch through the roof if it hasn't dissolved yet. Oh, the cotton candy sunroof. The famous cotton candy sunroof. So the sunroof was

cotton candy. The rest of the roof was fruit leather. Fruit leather costs extra. That was the higher end. What was the base model what if you didn't if you don't want to spring with the fruit leather what was what was the material used oh it's like matzah that's right into a toddler treat kids love matzah i Love matzah. I mean, that's certainly true here in Dignity Falls. I don't know if it's true everywhere,

but here, boy, kids love matzah. I loved it as a child. I loved it as a child. I think it's like in the water a little bit. Oh, I used to beg for it. Possibly. So, okay, now just to recap, you did manage to get out. Yes.

Because you kind of taught yourself how to swim to the surface. Yeah. It's like one of the renderings is like, you just kick. Oh, okay. You just kick. Right. It's amazing you were able to process all that information at such a quick time.

Stay calm enough to do it. I mean, I'm really amazed about your, you know, again, I take back all the stunts. I feel terrible because to be honest, you showed amazing, you almost said immaturity. You showed amazing maturity at eight and a half to get yourself out of that situation incredible adventure you had i know um but but it i guess it left its its it took its toll on you and to this day you won't drive a car and but interesting you want to wear the same outfit that you were wearing when that happened yeah um i think it's because like the when I got out of the water, I was kind of just like, I looked good. Oh, OK.

I like that. Sure. Yeah. I remember somebody kind of stopping their car and being like, hey, are you OK? And I was like, yeah, I'm fine. And then they're like, you look good. Wow. I said, thank you.

Well, that's kind of amazing. It really sort of gave you a part of your identity, I suppose. Yeah, I really based a lot of who I am on that day. Yeah. I can imagine. It makes sense. Do you still swim? No.

Have you swum since then? I have not. That was the only time. That was the only time. So you instantly learned out of, you know, guided by the pamphlet and necessity. And then you just never, were you ever tempted to get back into the water? Yeah. Yeah.

When it's hot out, I'm like a dip would be nice. Sure. Yeah. Does it carry? No, it's just like the water doesn't taste good unless it's like sugary, I think. Oh, okay. I mean, generally you don't have to drink the water when you're swimming. In fact, you shouldn't.

It is. Of course it's tempting. It's tempting because it's right there. Yes, right there. You're surrounded by it. All you'd have to do is open your mouth. It brushes right in. And I think that's actually something that I am working on a jingle for.

Really? Yeah. Cool? Yeah. Oh, cool. Yeah. Gatorade is coming out with this pool water, which is just like, it's water you put in your pool, but you can also drink it. It's like a forbidden fruit. I can see it.

I can see the bottle. It's a great idea. Absolutely. It's like a forbidden fruit. You're not supposed to do this, but bottle. It's a great idea. Absolutely. It's like a forbidden fruit. You're not supposed to do this, but now you can do it all you want. Water. Oh, wow. And so you're going to do a jingle for them?

Yeah, I'm working on a jingle for them. Is that... Oh, wait. Did you bring some wind chimes? I did. Yes. I brought... I always carry a few with me.

Oh, my gosh. This is amazing. Is that the wind or is that you? That is... That's actually... That with me. Oh my gosh, this is amazing. Is that the wind or is that you? That is, that's actually, that's me. I have a small fan that I... Oh, so you don't always blow on him. Okay, you've got a little fan.

That is really, really neat. That must be so frustrating if, Gus, the wind comes through. Oh, when you're trying to compose. Yes. I love to leave the windows open. Yeah, of course. Who doesn't? Do you ever have a moment where the wind comes through. Oh, when you're trying to compose. Yes. Yes. And I do love to leave the windows open. Yeah, of course. Who doesn't? Yeah.

Do you ever have a moment where the wind does something and you're like, oh, that was really good? You know, and then you feel threatened by the wind as the other composer. Right. It's public domain, right? We call that, yeah. In the wind chime community, we're kind of like, that's like our version of AI. We're kind of like fighting against.

We really don't want the wind to come right and replace you're against wind energy you're against it because the wind's not trying to make art no yeah it doesn't know what it's doing exactly yeah that's not fair yeah oh my goodness yeah but sometimes it creeps in and you just have to you know and can i ask how many other wind chime composers are there out there because i just don't know the community question joe thanks there's about four okay globally for full time for full time globally yeah but there are some moonlighters i believe you said before yes tons of moonlighters and what do they do i mean how do they make a living um i think we all kind of, um, well, we all meet on Sundays. Oh, um,

not IRL, but okay. Just like a FaceTime, right? Like a softball coach. Yeah, exactly. And, uh,

we just kind of like they, they mostly get their work through, um, they, one works in TV movies. Okay. Um, well,

that sounds cool. Yeah. Would we know any of the, the, the themes or scores that they've composed? Yeah. The Good Place. Sure. They were on that. They did that.

Very popular show. They did that. Social Network. Oh, wow. Sure. Yeah. Kind of like anything that has a wind chime they work behind that question when i go and get like a massage you know and then there's sort of uh there's a what sounds like just a you know a

recording of wind chimes is that is that a someone that is a composer that is in your group that you meet with that's lisa lisa does anything anything that's like meditative. Oh, I love knowing that. I can put a name to the chimes. Yes. And then Milo, Milo's the fourth or the third, four total. Okay. When I said four, I meant four total. Four including you. Yeah.

So we got Gerald, Milo, Lisa. Lisa. And the one who works in TV movies, he goes by X. Oh, that's so mysterious. It's kind of complicated, especially now. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. And then Milo kind of just does like agriculture.

Oh. Agriculture. I don't know if you guys know this, but crops love wind chimes. Oh, so it helps them grow. He composes for actual agriculture. Yes. Oh, so it helps them grow. He composes for actual agriculture. Yes. Oh, that's amazing. And is this all crops across the board?

Across the board. Anytime you see a field, there are speakers there and wind chimes are coming through. They're just pumping out the chimes to the tomatoes and the corn. Wow. And they've really seen that it makes a difference.

Yeah, you can actually, it affects the taste. So based on kind of the genre of wind chimes, that's like how potent or subtle the taste of a strawberry can be. That is really incredible. Could you have him work on green beans? Because I can't stand them. Bert hates them. I'll see what he's up to on the green beans.

Don't understand why anyone likes them. Don't get what we're getting't stand them. I'll see what he's up to on the green bean. Don't understand why anyone likes them. Don't get what we're getting out of them. Well, I guess we'll ask and see what Milo can do about that. Yeah, I mean. Listen, I have to say, you are such a magical, special person that I am so

sorry that you were in a place where you were feeling when you wrote this post. I don't know how long ago this was. Are you still feeling like that today? How long ago was it that you wrote it? That was about six months ago. Okay, so how are you doing now? Now I feel stronger than ever. Oh, fantastic.

That we should be keeping in mind. We spoke too soon. Bert, you and I both assumed at the same time we are really... That was our worst assumption. Really getting it handed to us today. Yeah. And so I want to know, since the post has kind of come across your eyes, have you guys been keeping a closer eye on your neighbors or has it been the same?

I mean, I feel like we're doing it right now. I like to think that this is what this podcast does. Yes, we do. We do want to, you know, it's all about getting closer to our neighbors.

I guess I, I, I mean, after they leave, I guess I don't really think about them that much. That's true. Listen, I think that it could be said we could all do better in terms of following up, even if someone says they're doing well, maybe asking a couple extra questions. You know, I guess I'm wondering if you're so you're not with Mike anymore.

Are you with someone new? Would you like to meet someone new? I would love to meet somebody new. Okay. Yeah. You're such a catch. I just think you're such an interesting person. Yeah.

I feel like, yeah, if you know anybody named Mike, I do kind of have a history of only being kind of like interested in people named Mike. Where do you think that comes from? Well. Because it does seem to be a recurring theme for you that you, you zero in on one thing and then it's just that right. To the exclusivity of all the things. One time.

And then it becomes your, your, your go-to. Yeah. Right. I, well, there was a,

there, we lived on Mike road. Oh, the house that I grew up on. Am I see? And, uh, We lived on Mike Road, the house that I grew up on. M-I-C. It's one of the few roads in Dignity Falls not named after a tree. Oh, roads are streets and avenues and boulevards. That's right.

And highways, all named after presidents or trees. Roads, dealer's choice. Mostly boys' names. Could be anything. Mostly boys' names, but he did say M-I-C. Oh, I missed that part i'm sorry yeah but mike can be spelled m-i-k-e true no it can't it can it often can like if your name is mike it i and you spell it m-i-k-e i can still we can still be together you can still be together okay

so if anyone's listening m-i-k-e or m-i-c you can all be together yes um. So if anyone's listening, M-I-K-E or M-I-C, you can all be together. Yes. But I will say, I will say that I would encourage you to maybe expand your horizons a little. There's a lot of differently named people that could just be right for you and could be the person that you want that's going to ask about how you're doing and to look out for you and to see in you. Although I know that was a typo, but to see in you. That's great. And I've heard that before from several people.

Oh, okay. Well, I've said nothing new. But it always helps. It always helps to hear it again. Well, does it? Because it doesn't actually seem like it does i think it is this 16th time my 16th wow a lot of times for someone to say verbatim what i just did do you feel with each successive time you hear this that you're you're becoming a little more

amenable to the idea like you're you're the walls are kind of uh coming down a little bit more each time yeah yeah i think it definitely is helping and um i can feel yeah i can feel myself opening up to something that's great a. A post-Mike world. Oh, good. In addition to having a game, Blake, would you like to put it out there? What other sort of thing are you looking for in a partner? In a partner? You know, regular business hours, nine to five.

Maybe if they love to cook. Sure. Okay, that'd be good be good yeah that would be cool um maybe they could even teach you and you could learn something new yeah i would love to learn do you again i'm not quite sure yeah if he really agrees and it's okay you don't have to agree with everything no you don't have to agree with everything that I feel like he has to agree with everything that we say. No, and you don't. You don't. You absolutely don't. I am. I mean, I don't. You know, it's like you don't want to say to someone, it seems like you don't want to learn how to take care of yourself at all.

And you're not interested in it. But that does seem to be the case, Gerald. It does seem like there's a lot of things you have done before and then you tried it once and you're never going to try it again. From driving a car to swimming to dating to setting an oven. To setting an oven? Yeah. I just feel like you're

limiting your own options for happiness. And it's interesting too, because in his artistic life, he's sort of boundless, right? What's more boundless than a wind chime? Exactly.

Yeah. Same answer. Well, Gerald, listen, I don't mean to have just talked at you. I really, really loved hearing about how you're a wind chime composer. I never knew about that. And this is what I do love about this show is that I learn new things.

But and thank you for the reminder that we need to really check up on people. But I really do hope that you're OK. And I really do hope that you find someone if that's what you want. But I guess it's just most important. And I do want to say that if you do meet someone again and they're on Zoom a lot and there's something like a coach, I would look into that because I'm not quite sure that Mike was a, he wasn't a softball

coach, right? I don't think he was. Okay, okay. I mean, just to say. You mean my Mike? Yeah. My former Mike. Your former Mike, yeah. Right, right, right. Yeah. Yeah, he was a softball coach. But I'm not, anyway. Well, I just don't want anyone to take advantage of your sweet nature.

Do you know what I mean? I just want you to make sure you ask questions and make sure you're being taken care of. Yeah. I am worse than Millions. Is that fair? So. Just so you know that like. Oh, then you're fine.

God, I wish we had time to. Yeah, I mean, I think you're okay. I wish we had known that sooner. But unfortunately, we do have to. We do have to wrap it up. Gerald, thank you. We wish you all the luck in the world. It was great to meet you.

Great to meet you. So nice to meet you. I hope that's true. I'll see you around the neighborhood. Yes, indeed. Feel free to honk at me. I'll hear you around the neighborhood. Please do.

More when the neighborhood listen returns. Hi, everybody. It's Lisa. I'm giving away for free movie music CDs first the Stargate soundtrack free and then the stage play Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

your choice or take both I also have movie making books for sale listen everybody I just there's no finer pairing of music than Stargate soundtrack with the soundtrack of Andrew Lloyd Webber's classic, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. I have sung along to both.

I made up my own words to the Stargate soundtrack for so many years that I've almost lost my voice doing it. And I just can't do it anymore, even though it brings me such joy. It's how I begin and end each day. But neighbors are starting to complain. So if you could just please come take this. I don't know what else I'll listen to because these were the only two CDs I own. Thank you. Welcome back to The Neighborhood Listen. We're just about out of time, but boy, that Gerald, I, you know,

I like Gerald, but I do feel like he seems to be his own worst enemy. Yes. Yeah. I just feel like maybe he got annoyed with us at the end, you know, too. I suppose I just peppered him in too many questions, I guess.

Maybe I got, I did get a little carried away. I don't know. What I do is, do is again every time the mom instinct kicks in i just want to take care of them and then i what mom instinct i didn't say it very clearly monuments man i thought you said and then of course i got excited because it's your favorite movie favorite movie oh i could watch it a million times a million a million that's a lot it's a lot of times um so yeah i just want to help and then i think maybe sometimes i i get i go too far with that you know i obviously i'm biased but i don't think so and i think that uh you know gerald the idea of of learning to swim at eight and a half in a disaster eight and a half that's important In the midst of a disaster and then saying,

well, I'm never going to swim again. I know. And especially when you're soaking wet. Somebody says, you look good. I know. Wouldn't you want to be soaking wet all the time? Wearing a burlap shirt. It did look like a good shirt, though.

It was like an Oxford. It was very nice. Well, listen, that store, what's that store's name? That's Dennis's. Dennis's, yeah. Dennis's is really good for repurposed clothing. I mean, there are hits and misses, of course, like the record suit.

Boy, that record suit. It really was. Because it melted on him, right? It melted to his skin. It was, it's really tragic. We shouldn't laugh about it, but. Well, I mean, he's fine now. It was funny.

He's fine now. I never laughed about it for the record. I don't remember laughing about it. Well, you just laughed about it just now. It's literally why I said it. I guess I meant in the moment when it did happen, I didn't laugh. Well, in that case, I would have said,

we shouldn't have laughed about it. I thought that's what you did say. No, I said we shouldn't laugh about it. What if I said we shouldn't have laughed about it? We're really getting into semantics. I think when we hit the second episode, we get a little bit giddy, don't we?

I think so. Because it's a lot of listening. A lot of people don't realize we- I mean, it's in the title. Yes, we record the entire season in one day. So by episode two, we get a little punchy. Just by episode two. Yeah.

And we've got many to go. Absolutely. Oh boy. Oh oh well then we should probably just get to the post i know we should start earlier because it's 11 30 at night it is we got it's gonna be an all-nighter babe are you gonna and he's gonna switch rooms the throughout the whole entire evening um but you're still in the theater right oh he's doing the clap on clap off off. Oh, the ghost light is not working? No.

How does it work? Is it two claps or three? I always thought it was two. It's two. Don't you remember the lady? She claps twice and then she goes to sleep. Wait, Doug, are you sure you got the clapper, not the clasper?

Oh, no. Oh, what's the difference? The clasper is you have to hug the object. You hug it on and off. Okay. Let me try that. Clasp on, clasp off. Clasp on. A clasper.

Ow. Well, that one I can sing. It's hot. It is hot. You can. It shocks you every time. We keep on finding songs with similar notes that you can sing. A clapper.

It's always delightful to find one like that. It really makes me feel like I'm singing. It's like finding a four-leaf clover. It really is. It really makes me feel like I'm singing. It's like finding a four-leaf clover. It really is. It really makes me feel like I'm singing. Oh, if you can think of any of those songs, please let us know, and I'll do a little cover. I think we've discussed doing a whole album

of all the similarly noted songs. Absolutely. Okay, so this is quite an interesting one. This is from Alicia. And she says, I'd like to know how many local neighbors would be open to having someone like myself to come to your home

and clip your cat's nails every two to three weeks instead of driving cats to a pet store or vet. Are you open to this? If so, state how many cats you have. And then underneath she has options. Yes, I you open to this if so state how many cats you have and then underneath she has options yes i am open to this no i am not open to this three i am undecided and let me tell you why and can i tell you the comments are just scrolling and scrolling what are the results of the poll you really want to know we usually don't dig into the comments well no scrolling and scrolling. What are the results of the poll? You really want to know? We usually don't dig into the comments.

Well, no. Oh, I thought it was like a... There's no reason. Well, I think people are answering. Oh, you have to just answer in the comments. I don't know. I don't want to touch it. Is that why?

Should I touch it? Oh, here we go. 53% are open to it. Oh, I like the landslide in my opinion. She has a mandate to cut these nails. The popular vote at least. Now here's interesting. 20% no, I'm not open.

27% undecided and let me tell you why. Undecided. And this is- Forces and response either way. It does. It does. It invites you to. Yes. It's exactly for the type of- There response either way. It does. It does. It invites you to. Yes.

It's exactly for the type of- There's no way out of it. You know what? She knows her audience because if this is people who are this into cats, then I have to say, these are exactly the people who would say exactly the words,

I'm undecided and let me tell you why. 100%. Absolutely. So this is a real gift. Absolutely. Where the comment is longer than the post. Yes. Could you read the first part of it again?

Yes. Okay. I'd like to know how many local neighbors would be open to having someone like myself, which again, there's no description of herself. So I don't know how to, I have no information. Someone like myself, well, your name is Alicia. That's all I know about you. So I don't know how to answer that.

If someone like myself. Oh, don't get confused. Don't get confused know how to answer that. If someone like myself, for some, don't get confused. Don't get confused. Don't get confused. Just a third Pisha. Don't add a Pisha. But Bert,

can you tell him that's not, that's Leisha, not Pisha. That's Leisha, not Pisha. Wait, okay. Alicia.

Okay. Okay. Just one Leisha. Hey, so this says, I'd like to know how many local neighbors would be open

to having someone like myself to come to your home and clip your cat, parentheses S, I didn't put that first, cat or cats, nails every two to three weeks instead of driving cats to, I mean, I can't read you the first sentence. It's all one sentence. It's one long run on sentence. It was kind of, I was having trouble following it. Of course, because, you know, there's really all she should just say is like, oh, I'll cut your cat's nails. Right. That's all she should say. I think that-

I'll come over. Someone, when she puts in someone like myself, it's getting into me thinks territory. Oh, it definitely is. It definitely is. Yeah. I think that there's a Venn diagram crossover of several cats and me thinks. Do you think Alicia is maybe one of those types of people that does the,

it's usually exclusive to men, but does the sort of... I don't know how to describe it. The bow with the twirling... The twirling fingers forward. Ooh, there's another overused trope. That's a surely overused trope. But it still gets a laugh. To convey

like someone is a big nerd? No, I mean it's a trope used by comedians improvisers mostly am i the only one listen i've been going to um uh the the dig dig players uh lately there have you really i have why because i am looking to cast a show in my new theater and i'm gonna going to get improvisers? Oh, Joan, why would you do that? Because they'll work for free. Oh, good point. Good point. So, and I've seen a lot of that,

a lot of that little motion, that little tip of the hat motion, you know. It needs to have a name. It needs to have a name. I think it's called the Me Thinks. You know what? Oh, it could be called the M'lady. It's the M'lady.

Sorry, no, that's much better. That's much better. The M'lady. Yeah, that's much better. Just to double check, she's calling these nails, not claws? She is. And thank you for pointing that out, baby,

because you know what I forgot to mention? I thought that was creepy too. Your cat's nails. Which makes me think someone like myself, is she a manicurist? But she now wants to break into the cat industry? Someone like myself, a human manicurist. A human manicurist.

Who wants to do animals. Yes. And make them glamorous. And I'm so not a part of this world that I'm calling their claws nails. She's going to make the nails longer. Possibly. She's going to put extensions on nails. She's going to make the nails longer. Possibly. She's going to put extensions on there.

She's going to put gels on them. Just a bunch of cats walking around with like six inch, you know, just tapping on their phones. Imagine the noise. Exactly. Those cats walking around. Have you seen bananas lately?

Oh, you know what? I haven't seen bananas lately. Bananas are cat. I saw bananas. Yeah. Like around the corner. I feel like everyone sees bananas except for me. You haven't seen bananas. Bananas are cat. I saw bananas, yeah. I feel like everyone sees bananas except for me. You haven't seen bananas?

Yes. No. I mean, I'm answering questions. Get your story straight, Joan. Correct. I haven't seen. Correct. I have not seen bananas.

But Doug, you saw bananas? I haven't seen. You said you saw bananas. I'm the only one so far. Okay. I've been looking. Bright yellow cat. I'm keeping an eye out for bananas.

Bright yellow cat. How do you miss a bright yellow cat? With keeping an eye out for bananas yeah how do you miss a bright yellow cat with a tiny black tail tip i mean i sure do miss her we used to be very close i don't know what happened yeah we grew apart she bananas like you're familiar yeah my constant what's your constant oh that was from lost did you ever watch that show i did oh boy you sound unhappy i bet you know it's that season where they were in the cages and nobody ever said hey why are we in these cages could you tell us that because the people that put them in the cages kept saying you got to believe us we're the good guys and they'd be like let us out of here and nobody

ever said why is it important for us to be in cages which i would have asked that question you say that but if you were really in the actual process of being on a stranded island i know a smoke monster even i'd like to see what you would really no matter how many smoke monsters and polar bears or whatever they explained and whatever hatches i hatches. If somebody put me in a cage and I said, let me out of here. And they said, you have to believe that we're the good guys. I would say, okay, then why do I need to be in a cage? I guarantee I would say. Did they really never ask that?

They never asked that. Okay. Well, that's why you quit. And you know why they never did? Because then there would have had to have been an answer. I suppose there did. But there were many non-answers. There were way more questions than answers.

I kind of miss those days when all anyone talked about was lost, you know, instead of is the dress blue or black or gold or white? I don't know. The good old days. Wait, was that another sound? I heard a sound. We've had some bodily sounds lately on the podcast. Remember that time that you're...

It might have been Doug choking up on his microphone. I fell through a hole. Oh, not another one. Are you okay, babe? You sound so calmly. I fell through a hole. It's very Charlie Brown delivery.

It really, really was. At this point, it was just a perfect landing. It didn't hurt anything. You landed on your feet? Just landed straight down. Like bananas. Wow. So my head's poking up above the stage.

We don't have a lot of space under the stage. So it's like you're in the orchestra. Yes. Yeah. All right. Well, we should wrap it up. Thank you so much for listening, everyone. If you would like to hear ad-free versions of the episodes,

you can do so by going to cbbworld.com. I had a hard time there. You did again? Here's what happens to me. Okay, tell me what happens. Let me tell you what happens. But it's not the floating above yourself. No, it's not that.

It's different. It's akin to that, I suppose, in that I... What's happening right now? That's the word I'm trying to say. I faltered a little bit. Oh, okay. On saying W. Oh.

And then I kept talking, but in my mind, I was thinking about how I faltered on the W. Oh, boy. And then I stopped and I had to acknowledge it. Yes. It happens. Yeah. It happens. Yeah. It happens. As I was saying, if you'd like to hear ad-free versions of our episodes, you can go to cbbworld.com.

I didn't even say W. It was world. Yeah, I was wondering that. You know what? Try doing the m'lady when you say W. W? Flawless. Well, by itself, it's much easier. Just to say the letters of the alphabet individually.

Okay, do it from the beginning then. If you would like to hear ad-free versions of our episodes, you may do so by going to cbbworld.com and sign up at the Maximus tier, where you will also gain access to our additional content in the bonus room, where we've done watch alongs of tv of movies we've done uh looks into dignity falls and the traditions around town we there are there are

other shows that uh sometimes we'll put in the feed just so you get to know um who else is podcasting in dignity falls yes uh there's all sorts of stuff and more to come so uh go to cbb world.com maxim Maximus tier. You'll be happy you did. All right. I didn't hear you say W at all. No, I didn't. Oh, but why did you say W before? I didn't. You didn't. That was another problem that I had, was thinking that I said W. Now all I can think of is the word W. It's the only letter that is a comment on another letter. Exactly. And it counts as a word, right?

W. Well, I guess. Two words. T? That doesn't, I mean, there's a word. Look, we do not have time to get into this. No, we don't. All right.

Goodbye. Goodbye. All of the posts used in this episode were real. Only some geographical specifics have been changed. The Neighborhood Listen is hosted and produced by me, Paul F. Tompkins. And me, Nicole Parker. And me, Brett Morris. This episode's guest was played by Brian Bahe.

The Neighborhood Listen is a production of Comedy Bang Bang World. Go to cbbworld.com to unlock the entire history of the show, ad-free, as well as brand new full-length bonus room episodes exclusive to Maximus subscribers. Your support keeps the show going.